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captains-simp · 3 years

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Wanda Maximoff ~ Fake It Till You Make It

Wanda version of this fic as requested by @yeetus-thyself

7.7k words

Warnings: shitty family and homophobia

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Buy me a coffee ☕

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"Pleeaasse, Wan" You pouted once again. You had been begging Wanda for the favour for an hour now; her stubborness was proving hard to overcome.

"I'm busy." Wanda said, her accent strong as she walked around her appartment to collect things for her next mission.

"But will you be busy on the 10th?" You asked from the couch where you watched her disappear into various rooms as she talked.

"I thought you said it was a few days." Wanda quipped, seemingly only giving you half her attention.

"It is." You confirmed with some hope.

"So I'd need to clear my schedule for more than just the 10th." You huffed and rested your head on the back of couch.

"Yes you would. I'm sure Natasha can manage without you for a few days."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." She muttered.

"Please, Wan." You tried. "I need a win." Wanda stopped by the kitchen counter and gave you a long, considering look. You had long given up on your puppy dog eyes and instead copied her expression as you chewed on your bottom lip.

"I'll think about it." Wanda finally said before grabbing something from the cupboard. It was the best response you had gotten all night and you knew you wouldn't get anything more. So you accepted it and hoped for the best.

Your parents had invited you to their cabin for a few days just like they did every year. It was a beautiful place. You could spend your whole visit in the forest along the back. Or swimming in the clear lake that was a short walk away. The cabin itself was the cosiest place you had ever been and had been where some of your best memories had happened as a kid.

As you got older things changed. Being around your family, especially your parents, wasn't as enjoyable. They had high expectations for their children, expectations that your siblings had met without a problem but ones that you had struggled with. You enjoyed your life. You had the kind of relationships you had always hoped for, you loved your job and you had the perfect balance of the two. But you could never shake the feeling that you had failed.

Your brother was a surgeon who always told you all stories of the lives he saved and the close calls he had swooped in to save people from. One of your sisters was some hot shot lawyer who had done great things like help people wrongly convicted but still put dangerous people back on the street. And your other sister was the CEO of an energy company that you never quite understood. They even all had equally successful partners who loved to talk about themselves as much as your siblings did. You didn't have any of that. But you did have Wanda.

Knowing the Avengers was the only thing about you your family took interest in. They were always subtly hinting at wanting to meet your friends. But you knew the Avengers had to endure enough fan service and didn't want to push your family onto them, especially with how annoying they all were.

However as your family's unrealistic expectations reached their all time high you were sure you wouldn't be able to handle another trip with them without a win, and you were far too petty to take the moral high ground and just not go. Not to mention that was a huge part of you that was dying to see what the Wanda girlfriend experience would entail. Yep, that was what you were asking of Wanda. To pretend to be your partner for the duration of the trip.

You knew it wasn't a smart choice. That if Wanda agreed your crush on her could get out of hand. You knew you would end up getting too caught up in the act. You could have, no - should have - asked Natasha or Yelena or even Carol if she was around. But your family knew you were the closest with Wanda and she would be the one it felt the most natural with, and the most believable. At least, that was what you told Wanda.

"When are you going?" You asked, changing the subject in hopes that Wanda wouldn't suddenly conclude she didn't want to do it (then you really would have to ask one of the others).

"Tomorrow." She answered, keeping her focused tone.

"When will you be back?" You attempted to keep the concern out of your voice but the glance the redhead gave you told you you hadn't done a good job.

"The day after." She said, softer this time. You nodded as you looked down at your lap and tried not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong on her mission.

"Be safe." Wanda strolled over to you and placed her hand gently ontop of yours and gave it a quick squeeze.

"Always."

"Got any plans Saturday night?" Natasha smirked knowingly at her friend as they preped for their mission.

"No." Wanda replied as she adjusted her earpiece.

"Nothing with y/n then?" Nat asked, partly genuinely but mostly knowing Wanda would still say no.

"Nope." She said again, biting the inside of her cheek in consideration before speaking again. "Not this Saturday."

Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise and interest. Wanda rarely made any kind of special plans with you as you would always hang out casual and it was never anything fancy or different. She had always wanted to though.

"Plans for another time?" Nat continued as she double checked her pack.

"Maybe, I'm still thinking about it." The redhead turned fully to her friend at her words, confused at why Wanda was hesitant to spend time with you. "She wants me to go to the cabin with her and her family." Nat had heard all about the infamous cabin and your family.

"That sounds fun." Nat nodded. The cabin sounded fun. Your family did not.

"As her girlfriend." Nat's eyes widened excitedly but before she could speak Wanda clarified. "Her pretend girlfriend."

Nat paused and looked as though she was going to speak for several seconds until she stuck to just giving a confused look.

"Yeah." Wanda sighed. "Thinks it would seem impressive." Wanda had tried not to be hurt over that. She knew you weren't just friends with her to show her off to people, because you never did. But it hurt her to think the only time you could see her in a romantic way was when you were pretending.

"Well," Nat muttered as she adjusted the zip along the front of her catsuit. "Fake it till you make it." It was Wanda's turn to give Nat a questioning look. "Maybe it'll be an eye opener for her."

"You think I should do it?" She asked, fully open to hearing and accepting her friend and mentor's advice in that area.

"Definelty." Nat confirmed. She wasn't sure about it for the reasons she said though. Wanda's crush on you was obvious to everyone except you, just as it was vice versa.

You had been overjoyed when Wanda told you she would come with you to the cabin and play along as your girlfriend. She had told you when she came back from her mission, in fact it was the first thing she said after she had let herself into your appartment. It was never really brought up after that, but you couldn't deny you were incredibly anxious on the week leading up to the visit.

On the drive up to the cabin you and Wanda stayed in a comfortable silence most of the time, clearly both lost in thought. You had the radio on for background noise more than anything else, but you would occasionally lightly tap the steering wheel if there was a tune you recognised, oblivious to Wanda's acknowledging smiles.

"So what's the plan?" Wanda asked as she looked at you expectantly. Right, of course the Avenger wanted a strategy.

"Keep things simple, I guess. They know how we met already so we can just say at some point we took things a step further than friendship." Wanda didn't seem convinced at the simplicity of that. "Look they're not going to want to hear about us, not much at least. They prefer the sound of their own voices, they'll be trying to impress you is all."

"Impress me?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, hope you warm up to them so one day they can invite you to their snobby parties." Wanda chuckled her heart warming laugh as she glanced out of the window, knowing there was a lot of truth to what you said.

"And what are those like?" She enquired curiously.

"I wouldn't know, I've never been invited." You said simply. You had gotten over that a long time ago, gotten used to being forgotten. Wanda clearly hadn't though.

"It will be an honour to turn them down." Wanda said. You shook your head and smiled at her. That did sound pretty nice.

When the cabin came into sight between the trees your nerves spiked. You figited in your seat and bit your lip when you saw some of your family gathered outside, their attention instantly on you. You shot Wanda a quick smile which she returned before you got out of the car.

"Y/n! So nice of you to come." You mum said as her eyes flickered to Wanda more than you. She opened her arms for the shortiest hug in human history before turning to Wanda. "You must be Wanda, we've heard so much." You mum insisted as she brought the redhead in for a hug too. She raised her eyebrows at you over your mum's shoulder and you bite back a laugh.

The others came over to greet you and mainly Wanda in a rush, overwhelming both of you.

"You two will be in the upstairs bedroom on the left." Your mum told you as you went to grab your bags. You did a double take, convinced you had heard her wrong. That was the best room in the house. A big difference from being in the small room in the basement every other time you had been there.

"First one on the left." Your dad confirmed. There was no way your parents were going to be in the basement so you wondered who else had been moved around but didn't ask, knowing whoever it was wasn't going to be happy.

You and Wanda made your way up to the room and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the spacious room and the door you knew led to your en suite.

"That was...a lot." Wanda summarised as she said her bag under the bed.

"I would tell you it gets better but I don't want to get your hopes up." You sighed as you got a couple of things out.

"It's just a few days." Wanda said despite the fact you should have been assuring her.

"Yeah." You nodded and stared down at the floor. "Now c'mon." You suddenly said as you took ahold of Wanda's hand and laced your fingers together. You missed the startled blush that crept onto her cheeks when you turned around.

Your family were sat outside whispering amongst themselves when you returned. Their interested gaze fell to your entwined hands in an instant.

"So you work with the Avengers?" Your brother, Dalton, said as soon as you both sat down.

"I do, I'm one myself." Wanda said as she continued to hold onto your hand.

"Must be crazy, what are they like?" He enquired.

"They're good." Wanda said simply. Everyone clearly expected something more but Wanda pretended not to notice making you smile.

"I almost did business with Stark once, decided against it in the end." Claire announced proudly. You and Wanda exchanged knowing glances. Stark had told you all about his encounter with your sister, it definetly wasn't her turning him down.

"I was invited to one of his parties." Anna said quickly. "I was busy that night unfortunately."

Bull. Shit.

"Yes I remember working with Doctor Strange when he was still in the medical profession." You gave Wanda an I-told-you-so look as your family erupted into conversation over who had the most contact with the heroes. That had to be a new record of how quickly they started talking about themselves.

They continued like that until your mum called everyone in for dinner. The food smelt undeniably amazing as you took your place at the table next to Wanda and eyed the dishes infront of you. Your parents efforts to impress the redhead weren't all that bad.

Your family continued to catch up and and you and Wanda half listened as you ate. They were all doing as well for themselves as ever and still hadn't learnt any modesty.

Although you were proud of your siblings for what they had all achieved, Wanda had contained four potentially devastating bombs from going off in the space of half an hour a week before but she wasn't going to bring that up anytime soon. Eventually though, the attention turned to you to bring you out of your silence.

"And you're still working in that little café, y/n?" Your mum asked curiously.

"I own it, mum." You corrected quietly as you stabbed some pieces on your plate.

"Ah yes, quite the contrast though, isn't it. Between you two." She said as she pointed at you and Wanda with her fork. You didn't say anything to that because you felt there really wasn't anything to say in response. It wasn't like you hadn't thought that exact thing every now and then.

"The team loves it." Wanda said suddenly making everyone, including you, look at her in slight surprise from speaking up. It hadn't taken your family long to learn Wabda wasn't much of a talker, not to them anyway. You couldn't get her to shut up half the time. "At least one of us goes everyday. If we're lucky we all can. Nothing beats it." She defended simply before turning back to her food to show she wasn't going to say anymore. You smiled down at your plate at her words and the truth of them.

No one said anything in response, clearly shocked from this new information until Dalton spoke up.

"But doesn't Stark like fancy, top of the line, restaurants? I can't imagine him in some random coffee shop, no offence sis." He nodded towards you though you knew he didn't mean it. He couldn't let you have just one win.

"That random coffee shop has catered some of Stark's parties. Not that many though." A smug smile crept onto Dalton's face as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark but Wanda cut him down again. "Because y/n's invited to the rest as a guest and a close friend." Your family stared at you with open mouths.

"You've been invited to Stark's parties?!" Anna exclaimed. In your defence, your family never wanted to hear about your life so you never got the chance to tell them anything.

"It's not really my crowd." You shrugged. "I just go to hang out with them after." Dalton's jaw clenched in annoyance and he didn't say anything for the rest of dinner. It was only really your mum who kept talking. Telling everyone about her latest travels that fell on death ears.

It was certainly a first for your family.

When everyone had finished their food you and Wanda excused yourselves and said goodnight before retiring to your room. Wanda shut the door gently as you collapsed onto the bed on your back and glared at the ceiling. The redhead shuffled around quietly to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and some other things you weren't really paying attention to and went into the bathroom.

When she came back out she was in her bedclothes and lifted your feet off the floor to turn you so you could fully lay on the bed. You smiled at her weakly.

"You should go get changed." Wanda said as she got her laptop out her bag. "Then you can pick a movie." She announced when she had gotten under the covers and started her laptop. You smiled more and nodded.

You tried not to think about your family and everything they had said at dinner as you got changed but it proved difficult. Everything they had said echoed around in your head but most of all you couldn't shake the disregarding ways they said it. It was as though you could do no right with them. Maybe they would never be proud no matter what you did.

You placed your toothbrush back I'm the holder and rinsed your mouth before heading back into the bedroom to an awaiting Wanda.

You got under the covers next to her and rested your head on her shoulder as you glanced at the Netflix screen and pointed to one of the comedy movies.

About ten minutes into the movie Wanda spoke. "You okay?" She whispered as she continued to look at the screen although that wasn't where her focus was.

"Yeah." You whispered back.

"You can talk to me." She said after a second." You moved your head away so you could see Wanda clearly.

"I'm so glad you're here." You said honestly. She smiled and nodded as her eyes searched yours.

"I'm glad I'm here too." You knew Wanda wasn't glad she had to spend the time with your family. She was glad that she could support you despite their efforts to bring you down. You were incredibly lucky to have her.

You rested your head back on her shoulder and neither of you spoke for the rest of the movie. Or the rest of the night. You must have fallen asleep about half an hour in.

Wanda was one of the most intimate people you had ever met. It was mainly something she aimed towards you and Natasha but didn't refrain from comforting others and giving hugs to anyone who would take one. She never held back at all with you, as far as you knew. But when you woke up and couldn't tell where your limbs started and Wanda's ended, you were still surprised to find yourselves like that. Butterflies flew around in your stomach in a way you knew was dangerous but couldn't help but love.

You were resting your head on her rising chest and had your arm slung across her stomach. Your legs were tangled together and her arms were holding onto your waist. A warmth spread through you and you decided to settle back into her hold and closed your eyes with a content smile.

You had about ten minutes to enjoy that before Wanda woke up. You could feel the moment she realized you were so close, she physically froze. You waited in anticipation for something for several moments until your friend very slowly unhooked her legs and guided your body to lay against the mattress and pillows as she slipped out of bed towards the bathroom.

You sighed when you heard the door close and rubbed your eyes slowly, knowing you should get up but wishing more than anything that you could return to how you woke up.

"Morning." Wanda croaked when she left the bathroom and saw you sitting up in bed.

"Morning." You said back with a smile and tried not to focus on how ridiculously attractive her voice sounded.

You gathered some random clothes into a bundle and went into the bathroom to change again and brush your teeth. When you came out Wanda was pulling her shirt over her head and gave you a generous view of her toned stomach. That training with Natasha really was paying off. Your face heated up when you saw it and you turned away to pretend you hadn't seen when Wanda noticed you.

"Don't make a sound." Wanda warned. You glanced up at her with some confusion. "I don't think your family's awake yet, that means we get the kitchen to ourselves." She grinned and you did too.

You and Wanda had gotten so used to getting up early for your jobs you forgot other people would still be sleeping. It was hard to break out of the habit but it proved useful.

The pair of you made a quick breakfast and ate it outside thanks to the warm weather even at that time. But soon enough your parents came downstairs and ruined the peaceful atmosphere with the clanging of pots and loud convosations.

You wandered around the side of the house and saw the old table tennis table that bad been folded away years ago and hadn't been set up since. You went over and started setting it up when Wanda joined you and eyed the table with a glimmer of mischief.

The redhead wasn't all that competitive, in fact you were pretty sure she let other people win games on the regular to make them feel better about themselves. But there was an undeniable spark of mischief in her eyes when she saw the table.

"You played this before?" You asked convosationally.

"I have." She said as you both automatically took up your positions of opposite ends of the table.

"Me too." You said confidently. "A lot." Wanda hummed in acknowledgment and swivelled her bat in her hand and stood ready. You smiled at her seriousness for the game.

You served surprisingly well for someone who hadn't played in a few years and Wanda was able to hit it back with ease. Once you had developed a steady pace you started hitting the ball more daringly to Wanda who was caught off guard before she started doing the same.

The moment you missed the ball a small smile tugged at the corner of Wanda's lips, her celebration was short lived when you suddenly sent the ball back her way until it was too late.

"That wasn't fair!" She exclaimed childishly.

"That was tables tennis." You said seriously but started smiling again.

Wanda huffed dramatically and flipped you off as she trudged back to the table and served the ball with force. You managed to send it back but took a step away from the table in caution.

You continued like that for a while. The competition tension rising as you picked up the pace, one of you occasionally getting a point before the other evened it out.

At one point you were vaguely aware of Dalton sauntering over to see what you were doing and arched his brow at the sight of the table.

"We still have this thing?" He questioned and you hummed quietly in response, too focused on the game.

"Hey Claire! Get over here, we're playing table tennis." You rolled your eyes at the intrusive and could sense Wanda refraining from doing the same until an idea popped into your head.

You caught the ball in your hand and smiled at Wanda's protests as you moved round to her side of the table just as your sister came out.

"I didn't even know we still had this." Claire laughed as she picked up another bat from the box.

"Maybe we should take it back with us." Wanda whispered to you and you bit your lip to contain your smile because yes, yes you should.

Inevitably, your siblings sucked at table tennis. You had suspected as much you just never thought they would be as bad as they were. They missed almost every hit and everytime they did they got increasingly angry, which meant they ended up flaring their arms around like idiots. It was a memory you would be sure to treasure.

"Stupid game" and "probably broken" kept echoing across the table until your siblings finally stormed off to throw a tantrum.

The rest of the day went by quietly. You and Wanda sat by the lake for most of the afternoon to enjoy the sun and heat. You reveled in the most recent memories of your siblings embarrassment and had to keep hushing down to childish whispered whenever one of them was nearby.

Surprisingly, dinner went by peacefully too.

You weren't asked anymore questions at the table. Instead, your family were content with talking about their upcoming plans between stealing glances at you and Wanda that the redhead never failed to notice.

The pair of you slipped off to your room the first moment you got and easily fell into bed besides one another. Wanda picked out a DVD from her bag of an old Sokovian show she used to watch as a child and had you hooked on as well as teaching you the language.

She settled down beside you and within the first few scenes she wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could sink into her further like she did sometimes when you watched things together. You were barely paying attention to the series after that.

Despite trying to keep your focus on understanding what was happening in scenes of the show, you couldn't help but want to melt under the warmth of your best friend. You hoped it was something you got to experience more, you felt safer than you ever had in Wanda's arms.

Little did you know that having you in her arms was the most comforting feeling Wanda ever experienced and she always tried to do it as little as possible to refrain from falling for you more. It never worked.

You had thought waking up in Wanda's arms the morning before had been the best thing to awake to. But that day when you woke up not only were your legs tangled together again but the redhead was slowly stroking your hair while your head rested on her chest.

It was a gradual gesture that maintained a perfect rhythm and made you want to fall back asleep. But you were afraid you would mistake it for a dream later on. No, it was definitely real.

Luckily, your head was already tilted upwards slightly so when you secretly opened your eyes to risk a peek at your friend you saw her staring out the window as though she was in a trance. She was clearly so deep in thought she hadn't noticed you wake up, you had never seen her like it. But the feeling was too good to ignore, too compelling.

Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off back to sleep.

When you woke up again Wanda was gone. Her absence left an emptiness you knew wasn't good for you. As the days of your visit went on your fake relationship with Wanda was going to effect you even more when it was over.

Over...you couldn't think about that.

Once you got up and got changed you found Wanda in the kitchen looking at the news on her phone as she sipped her coffee.

"Morning, honey." You grinned. Wanda blushed slightly into her coffee, something you thought was undeniably adorable.

"Morning yourself." She tried to play off smoothly making you grin more.

You made breakfast for you both just as your mum came into the kitchen and greeted you both with an overplayed smile, already talking to Wanda about an upcoming party that she should go to. Wanda mumbled something about a busy schedule as you managed to whisp her away outside with your food.

Eventually, you and Wanda became bored with sitting around in the house when you had such amazing surroundings on your doorstep. You declared that you were going on a walk with the redhead and left before any of your family could invite themselves to go with you. Especially as you had told your friend to wear her swimwear underneath her clothing as you had a surprise for her.

You made a point of holding Wanda's hand as you left and once you were far away from the house went to take it back only for her to hold on tighter.

"You never know where they could be lurking." She joked as an excuse, so you starting swinging your arms playfully as to assure her you wanted your hands to stay linked together too.

You spent hours in those woods and was thankful for having a spy best friend who of course knew to pack the essentials like food and drinks so you could stay away from the house as long as you wanted.

The redhead brought so much you were able to have a small picnic on top of a hill that overlooked the large lake that stretched out all the way back to the house. You remembered thinking up stories as to explain the strange shape and curves to it as a child.

"It's beautiful here." Wanda said as she picked some grapes from the bunch between you.

"It is." You agreed with a fond smile.

"I used to want to live in a place like this." She muttered, sparking your interest.

"In the woods?" You asked curiously and she nodded.

"I thought I could retire to the woods and get a small cabin and I could grow my own food and that was all I needed." You hummed with a smile as you studied Wanda's features.

"Sounds lonely." You thought aloud.

"I'd have a cat." She said simply making you laugh. "I never used to think that but now when it crosses my mind and I picture that life... I picture someone else there with me." You knew she was imagining it as she spoke and you wished you could see exactly what it was she wanted.

"We could always downgrade the holiday house." You half joked as you nodded in the vague direction of the house. "Make it a simple cabin."

"We?" Wanda asked hopefully, the emotion clear before she had a chance to conceal it.

"There's no one I'd rather run away and live in the forest with." You joked although there was a lot of truth to your words. The redhead considered you for a while before smiling and nodded as though she had reached her own internal conclusion.

"Come on." You said suddenly as you stood up and dusted yourself off.

"You want to go back?" Wanda asked and you grinned.

"I'm going to show you that surprise." You declared and packed the remaining food away. Wanda did the same, eager to see the surprise you kept secret the whole way.

It was quite a way back to the house. The whole time Wanda kept asking more questions about it but you wouldn't say. She could only make guesses based on the swim wear which should have left only a few options, non of which she got right.

Finally, you arrived where you wanted to and grinned at Wabda before starting towards the edge. The redhead frowned as she watched you approach the ledge and became worried when she invisioned the steep slope that didn't always lead to water straight down. If you were to fall... your friend didn't have to wait long to see that. You slipped along the edge and disappeared from her view as she gave a startled cry and sprinted towards the edge and knelt over with wide eyes, expecting to see something that could haunt her forever but instead she saw you on a wide ledge but seven feet below her.

To your left was part of the ledge that had been dug into randomly and acted as perfect aid to get back into the woods above.

"Come down here." You beckoned as you starter to take your top off. Wanda's eyes widened more and quickly turned around and dropped down next to you steadily.

She glanced over the side of the small ledge to glance at the fifty foot drop into the water. There was nothing in the way to fall onto but there was no telling how deep that water was.

"You can't go in like that." You laughed as you kicked off your shorts and pushed them to the side.

Wanda's face heated up at the sight of you in your y/f/c bikini as you assessed the view. But even in her flustered state she was able to put it all together.

"You want to jump down there?" She exclaimed making you laugh.

"I've done it tones of times." You assured. "It's fun."

"It's a death wish! What if the waters not deep enough?" She questioned making you laugh more.

"Are you scared, Wan?" You teased as you took a step towards her making her avert her eyes from your form. She scoffed to play it off.

"Of course not." You hummed in faux belief.

"Well then I'll see you down there." You grinned and took a couple of steps back until your feet were no longer on the platform and you were plummeting down towards the water where you landed with a splash.

Wanda held her breath as she waited for you to resurface for a few agonising seconds. When you did with a gasp and started kicking around frantically to keep yourself afloat with your built up adrenaline the redhead sighed in relief and started taking off her own shorts and shirt and placed them next to your things.

You've jumped from higher. She told herself as she rocked on her feet. And you have powers! She argued back before she shoved those thoughts aside and threw herself off the ledge and into the water below. You laughed as she came back up and pushed her hair away from her way. You swam closer to her and saw her wide smile.

"Fuck." Wanda whispered with a laugh as she looked back up from where you had both come.

"Told you it was fun." You teased as you tried not to focus on the low cut on her bikini bra.

"Yeah yeah." She laughed and paused when she looked past you and saw you were surprisingly close to the house. She could see the outline of your family sat outside.

"They're looking." Wanda muttered. You could tell by the look on her face who she was talking about. It wasn't like there was anyone else around either.

"Do you think they've caught on?" You asked nervously as you stared at Wanda's brown eyes to stop you looking at your family.

"Maybe..." She considered and glanced around. "It's not like we've been acting like that much of a couple." You scoffed at that.

"At home everyone assumes we're dating and the one time we need it be believable it isn't." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile.

"I know." Wanda laughed for a second but then paused. "Then let's give them something believable." She gently placed both her hands on your waist and pulled you slowly towards her. You let her guide you and took extra notice of the water droplets across her face. You almost trembled when your bare stomachs pressed together in the water lightly.

Wanda's soft hands left your waist and gripped your thighs to pull you up to wrap your legs around her own waist. You couldn't help but giggle at the gesture as you wrapped your arms around the redhead's neck and held onto her waist with your legs in a lock.

"Can I?" Wanda whispered when she lifted your chin with her finger and her other hand came round the back of your neck.

"Just shut up and kiss me." You demanded with a playful smile and leaned in to do it yourself.

You smiled into the kiss and felt Wanda do the same. It was everything you had ever imagined it to be. Her lips were soft and fell into place perfectly against your own as they moved together. Your mind was hazey and your stomach was doing flips at the realisation that you were actually kissing your long time crush. You forced yourself to remember that it was all a show. That Wanda didn't mean it. But she put on a believable act and kissed passionately, even slipping her tongue through your parter lips to explore your mouth further.

When she eventually pulled away you rested your foreheads together to catch your breath and grinned as you closed your eyes.

"You're a really good kisser." You blurted out making Wanda chuckle.

"Not too bad yourself." She teased.

"I hope not, we're gonna have to do that again." You smiled and instantly realized that sounded like a confession you desperetly wished you could claim. "You know because...Once probably wasn't enough to make it entirely believable." You rambled and Wanda nodded somewhat stiffly and let your legs drop back down. You wanted to say something to her, anything but it was all stuck on the tip of your tongue.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small murmurarion of starlings flew across the lake, some of them skimming the water then gaining height again as they got closer to you and Wanda. You both ducked instinctively as they flew over your heads and off towards the forest again as you watched them in awe until they disappeared. You glanced up at the sky and noticed the sun had gone behind a cloud, ableing you to continue looking up at the other birds higher up.

You kicked your legs up slightly so you could lay on your back and outstretch your arms to keep you afloat in the water so you could stare up at the sky without hurting your neck.

You didn't realise Wanda mimicked you until her hands brushed against yours. She withdrew it as soon as you touched and went to murmmer an apology but you smiled and held onto her hand as you both lay watching the birds.

Neither of you had to say anything. It was a comfortable and peaceful silence that was occasionally filled with birds chirping or the sound of a calm breeze. Of all the things you expected to feel on that trip, relaxed was not one of them.

You stayed like that for a while until you were both snapped out of your daydreams by the distant yell that declared dinner. Well, you had to go back to them eventually.

Both of you took your time swimming back to dry land and only felt a shiver when you left the water and the breeze hit you. Wanda spotted and reached the towels before you and wrapped yours around you tightly. You thanked her with a small blush as you both sauntered up to the house where the mouthwatering smell of a barbecue greeted you. Your dad was leaning over it while shooing your brother away as he tried to offer his 'help'.

You and Wanda went inside to change swiftly and came back outside as the food was being placed on plates and your mum finished setting up the buffet. Everyone starter helping themselves and you piled as much food as you could onto the plate. You parents had asked what food Wanda liked and when you gave them a brief list you added in a few things you knew you both loved.

"You gonna eat all that?" Anna asked as she eyed all the food on your plate. Guilt and insecurities washed over you until Wanda purposefully grabbed a large handful of small sausage rolls and put them on her plate that was piled with a considerable amount more food than your own. You smiled at the reassuring gesture as she sat down with a satisfied grin on her face when she saw Anna close her mouth to stay quiet.

"Thanks." You whispered to her as you sat down.

"If you don't eat all that I will." She declared. You were pretty sure she went back for seconds.

Instead of disappearing back to your room like you did the previous nights, you and Wanda stayed with your family for a while after dinner. It wasn't to do with their company, more the mesmerising fire in the firepit you all sat around. You were cuddled up into Wanda's side with a blanket over both of you as you stared at the flames, smiling at their small flickers and dances.

"So Wanda," one of your sisters began, "are any of the other Avengers...you know." She nodded her head in the direction of you both.

Oh boy you though.

"I don't think it's my place to say." Wanda said because yes, a lot of the Avengers were queer.

"Oh come on, you can tell us." Anna encouraged as she sat forward eagerly.

"I could, but I'm not going to." Wanda continued to defy.

"Lay off it guys." You mumbled but was ignored. Your family took it in turns saying her teammates names in hopes of sparking a reaction, clearly forgetting they were facing someone who had been trained by Natasha Romanoff.

"Stark!" Claire said but was instantly shut down by the others.

"He's married!" Dalton objected.

"Could still be bi though." Claire tried but Dalton just scoffed.

"I suppose there's going to be more surprises."

"What does that mean?" Wanda asked with narrowed eyes, feeling protective of her teammates. Dalton met her gaze with his own challenging one.

"I just never thought one of the Avengers would be a dyke." You felt Wanda stiffen as you all held your breath. There was no way to tell what was going through the redhead's mind, especially as after all those years of friendship you still didn't even know what team she batted for. She was an ally at least, but would she see this as her battle to fight?

Upon getting no reaction, Dalton continued. "It makes sense why you'd hang out with y/n though, we always knew something was wrong with her but-"

"That's enough." Your mum snapped with a guilty expression she failed to mask. You swallowed hard and moved to get up, deciding you had heard enough.

"Then you're idiots." Wanda stated as she glared daggers at your brother while you sunk down.

"I'll have you know I have a doctorate-"

"Your idiots." She repeated. "There's nothing wrong with y/n, which is impressive considering she's grown up around you lot." You looked at your friend in awe as she continued.

"She's the most amazing person I've ever known, including any of the Avengers. She's everything that you're not and I'm lucky to call her my girlfriend. It doesn't matter what any of you think of her, I love her and I always will." She declared as shot daggers at each individual family member who had fallen silent. She took your hand and pulled you up from your seat to take you inside.

You couldn't get her saying she loved you out of your head. You reminded yourself over and over again on the way to your room that it was just an act. That the redhead was making her point. But God, how you wished it was real.

She was so gentle with you as she guided you through the house. When you got to your room and broke down sobbing she held you on the bed for a long time until your cries turned to sniffles. The thing was, you weren't sure what you were crying over. Sure, what Dalton had said had hurt. As did the confirmation that your whole family had always looked down on you. But you had known that was the case for a long time, you had moved on from it.

Instead, you may have being crying over what you didn't know and didn't have. How much of what Wanda said was true? It was all based off of something that wasn't real. What if she saw you the same way your family did?

When you stopped crying you became aware of Wanda gently stroking your hair as she rested her head on yours and held you close to her. You remembered the memories you had accumulated over the past few days with her. The kisses, the hand holding, the nights together, how she stood up for you like no one ever had. You loved her so much.

"I think we should go tomorrow." Wanda mumbled and you nodded into her shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you though, you know that right? You can stay at mine and we'll watch more of those crappy American movies you like." She mocked lightly making you chuckle against her. "Whatever you want."

"I just want you." You said honestly. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you were too emotionally drained to care.

"I just want you too, y/n." You pulled away from the redhead to look at her clearly.

"I don't think you know what I mean." You sniffed and she smiled at you fondly.

"I mean what I said earlier, around the fire." Your eyes widened slightly and you held your breath.

"It was all an act though." You whispered and Wanda chuckled as she exhaled sharply.

"No y/n." "I think I am inlove with you." She said as she took ahold of your hand and searched your face for any signs of a reaction to her confession.

"Me?" You questioned, not quite believing it.

"Yes you, idiot." You smiled and sighed in relief, not being able to find the words to express your overflowing happiness and numerous other emotions you couldn't quite pinpoint. You let go of Wanda's hand and brought them both up to cup her cheeks. You had done a lot more handholding than kissing in the previous few days. It needed to be evened out.

You closed the gap between you and kissed Wanda with just as much passion as you had in the lake, except all hesitation and questions were gone. Because you knew she loved you. Oh God she loved you. You grinned into the kiss at the thought and felt her hand fall to your hip while the other caressed the side of your neck in the most gentle manner you had ever seen from her.

When you eventually pulled away you rested your forehead against hers, a smile still playing on both your lips.

"Told you we'd have to do that again." You said and and laughed. "I love you too."

"Well I hoped that wasn't a pity kiss." She joked and you smacked her arm playfully.

"It definetly was not and I'll prove it to you by taking you on a date when we get back." You promised as you sat back to look at her clearly.

"Oh yeah?" She asked with a playful smirk and leaned over so her face was inches away from yours.

"Yeah." You said back.

"Well until then, my real girlfriend should definetly just keep kissing me." She said as she pushed you down gently and kissed you again. You smiled against her gleefully.

"Your girlfriend would love to."

#wanda maximoff imagines #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff #scarlett witch #fake dating au

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charming-2d-boys · 3 years

Note

Omg hi hi hi

Are the requests finally open?(ﾉ*0*)ﾉ I've been subscribed for ages but I always miss my chance to send in a request

Can I please get mild nsfw HCs with Chrollo and a younger but stronger boyfriend who isn't a member of the phantom troupe?

Well then, this is new 🤔 I'm glad you were able to send it when the requests were still open 😁

I'll try my best and thank you for the request! And, I'm very sorry for the long wait! 🙇

P.S.:

in this scenario, Hisoka's already betrayed the Phantom Troupe, but no one's died yet (so no Kurapika)

and when I say "younger by a few years", I mean that you're still of legal age, just so there's no issues here

there really isn't anything really saying that it's a boyfriend here - I still automatically write as if it's a gender neutral partner since I want people to feel included, as much as possible - hope that's okay 🙇

a little long, but I need to get some sort of a backstory into this (sorry if anyone's against it, but it makes things easier and more natural for me 😅)

❗Warning❗some NSFW, though it's mostly alluded

it was Phinks who spotted you and watched you display your power, as well as how you acted with people, especially those who wanted to hurt you

he was very impressed by your strength and was sure the Spider could benefit from it

then, he told Feitan and Shalnark, and suddenly, everyone wanted to see you in action, even Chrollo

they followed you for a while before returning to their hideout where they discussed and awaited Chrollo's verdict

you, however, refused since a few of your conditions clashed with the Phantom Troupe's

after a bit of thought, he decided to approach you and invite you to join the Troupe

after all, they needed a new #4 after Hisoka's betrayal

but, you'd accept helping every now and then, provided you got compensated and the mission respected your terms

with this, you were now officially "hired"

you were younger by a few years than the boss, but also stronger than pretty much all of the other members, except maybe Uvogin

you were pretty well-balanced in strength, speed and Nen experience and usage which, of course, was exactly what the Phantom Troupe were looking for

and during the number of missions where you joined them, you showed them exactly how good you were

Chrollo was impressed and he couldn't lie that yes, he'd thought about taking your Nen

but then he thought about a moment when you'd told him that you'd trained even harder without Nen, so you'd be prepared to fight whether you could use it or not

taking this into account, he left the idea behind

maybe one day, but not yet

and so, he just kept asking questions about you whenever a mission was over or when you'd come to their hideout to talk about an upcoming one or something related

since he was the strategist and the one making the last decision, you'd spend a lot of time together and, over time, the questions started getting a bit more personal as did the whole conversation

nothing too personal though, mind you, but enough to make the other ask even more questions

the Spiders had become your friends of sorts and had seen the interactions between you and their boss

Phinks would often make fun of you, saying that he could feel how much you were looking forward to spending more time with Chrollo - to which you'd hit him over the head, making Shalnark and Feitan laugh, though the others were pretty amused too

fast forward to over a year of occasionally working with the Spiders and you two were still pining for one another

Chrollo certainly seemed more relaxed around you and you couldn't really tell when the lines between professional work, friendship and romance started to thin and blur

but you were both clearly into each other

and you were already thinking about whether to ask him out or not

would he get mad? laugh in your face? kill you?

you didn't know, but you decided to do something about it

whatever happened afterwards, you would be satisfied with the fact that you did something, dare you say, brave

or maybe it was stupid, who knows? the line was pretty thin between those two

this had been the last mission of the year, from what you'd been told, and you and the others were currently hauling large boxes full of the stolen goods

you all celebrated, laughing and talking about the mission and what you each encountered

then you saw Chrollo, sipping from his beer and smiling warmly as he watched everyone proudly

taking a deep breath in, you excused yourself and made your way towards him, asking if you could talk in private

his smile faded and he got up, the two of you going a little further from the racket

you didn't beat around the bush, telling him in simple terms that you liked him and that you'd like to ask him out

Chrollo's eyes widened a little before he smiled a bit - he was planning on asking you out later that night, but apparently, you'd beaten him to it and he told you that as well

and just like that, you went on your first date with the Phantom Troupe leader and actually had a lot of fun, which in turn transformed into more dates whenever possible

well, things were moving a little slower as you were both getting used to the relationship

and one thing you both discussed were limits, including what made you both comfortable and were willing to try at least

including sleeping together

what you could say was that for someone who took whatever he wanted, Chrollo was a giver when it came to you and your pleasure

he wasn't against you pleasuring him or making him sit back while you did most of the work - especially if he was tired or stressed

but he still preferred having the knowledge that he was making you feel good, better than you or anyone else could

whatever kink or technique you wanted to try, he'd be on board - as long as it wasn't something that would hurt either of you beyond your limits, at least

and whether your sessions were rougher or not really depended on your moods

but no matter what, there was always the possibility of stopping if either of you wanted to

Chrollo's a respectable boyfriend and also respects you and your decisions, just like you do for him

and rough session or not, there's always aftercare and it's sometimes better than the sex

there's just something about the two of you wanting to make sure the other is okay and bring them whatever they want or help with whatever they need that really makes the moments after even more intimate

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter x reader #hunter x reader #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer x reader #hxh chrollo #hxh writing

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one-boring-person · 4 years

Text

Can You Do Me A Favour?

Barney Ross (The Expendables) x reader

Warnings: injury, drinking, sexual content implied, mentions of violence, swearing

Context: the reader is a member of the Expendables and has a crush on Barney. After a job, the two have some time together.

A/N: as promised, here is some Expendables stuff! I hope anyone who reads this will enjoy it! (Just a heads up: I have more Rambo and Escape Plan stuff coming, and most likely some more TLB content, too.)

Masterlist

(I'm also going to tag @yuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in this, because they expressed interest in Expendables stuff earlier😊💛)

The cold water is pleasant on my heated skin as I cup my hands under the steady stream flowing from the tap, splashing it into my face when a suitable pool has formed in the space. A gasp escapes me from the stark contrast in temperatures, using my fingers to rub slightly at my skin, trying to work out the headache that has set in, only to hiss when I accidentally press into one of the new scars on the side of my face. Pulling back, I repeat my action, doing my best to distract myself from the plaguing thoughts in my head, still disgusted at myself for having them.

But even now, as I massage the contours of my face, I can't get the images of my boss out of my head. Not the sight of him taking out a ring of attackers using his revolver and sharpshooting skills, not the way his exposed arm muscles flexed with each movement, not the determined look on his rugged face and certainly not the fierce eye contact he made with me when he turned around again. At the mere memory of this, a flush of heat goes through me, eyes squeezing shut to force myself to blank them out, not quite realising that his stare is branded into my subconscious. Biting my lip, I shake my head, forcing down the picture of his muscular body and large hands on my body as he dragged me from the collapsing building, not five hours ago.

Growling, I reach over and grab hold of the beer bottle nearby, glancing at my haggard features in the mirror before taking a deep drink, wincing at the stale flavour, having had the drink for far too long. I can see the tension in my body, each muscle tight and uncomfortable, my posture ramrod straight and clearly wrong, my eyes clouded with exhaustion and what I can only assume is loneliness.

As soon as I'd gotten in from the last job, I'd headed straight into the bathroom, grabbing a beer from the fridge as I went, needing to clear my head. Nothing I did could help, my head always circling back to that one person. Frustrated, I slam the bottle on the counter top, wincing when it shatters from the force, a particularly sharp shard slicing into my palm.

Damn him. Damn Barney Ross for getting into my head.

I clean up my hand, just bandaging it up when my phone buzzes, the screen lighting up. Frowning, I look over at it, confused. Nobody calls me. Nobody, except my boss.

Picking up the phone, I groan to myself as I realise it is, in fact, Barney. For a second, I debate letting it go to voicemail, before I finally give in, accepting the call and placing the phone to my ear.

"Sir?" I greet him politely, wondering what he needs.

"How many times have I told you not to call me "sir"?" Barney's gravelly voice sounds through the phone, a low chuckle evident in his tone. I have to ignore the effect his voice has on me, the sound giving me butterflies in my stomach.

"Sorry, sir- ah, shit." I sigh at my own habit, "You alright?"

"Yeah, guess so. Just lonely. Figured you might be, too." He admits, tone going soft as he speaks.

"Bold of you to assume that." I tease, but continue, "Though you are, as always, right."

"Should tell Christmas that, might listen to you." The veteran laughs again, the joke drawing a similar reaction from me.

"We all know he listens to no one but himself." I quip back, still waiting for him to tell me why exactly he called.

"True, true." Barney's grin is almost audible, my mind instantly bringing up an image of that particular expression into my head, much to my chagrin, "You got any plans for tonight?"

Surprised, I take a second to reply, unsure of where this is going.

"No, it's too late. Ain't really got many friends outside work, anyway." I inform him, going out of the bathroom and into the lounge.

"Fancy coming over? I've got a couple of beers that need drinking, and the hangar is pretty lonely this time of night."

His offer stumps me for a moment, though I am quick to recover, my mouth working before my mind can catch up.

"Yeah sure. I'll be over in twenty."

"Great. See you then." He hangs up, leaving me wondering why the hell I accepted that, knowing how much I spend too much time thinking about him (in totally inappropriate ways considering he's my boss) anyway.

Annoyed at myself, I steel myself before going and grabbing a coat, pulling on that and my boots as I leave the flat, taking my motorcycle keys with me. I lock my door behind me, leaving the apartment block quickly, glad to have the fresh air on my face as I make my way over to my motorbike. Looking on it fondly, I climb on and kick out the stand, easily getting it revved up, the vibrating engine beneath me a pleasant feeling.

Thankfully, the roads are mostly clear this time of night, cutting the twenty minute drive short by five minutes as I go at speed through the nearly deserted outer city. The hangar is usually a pain in the ass to get to, the traffic in the roads leading up to it almost always horrific, so I am only too happy to be able to go much faster now that there's not many other drivers around. With the wind rushing around me, I find that my head clears a little, my attention on navigating the roads rather than the thoughts of my boss doing things to me I'm sure he'd find grotesque in nature.

I arrive quickly, pulling into the hangar slowly, knowing Barney is most likely in the plane, as he usually is. Stopping the bike, I put it in park before climbing off, hanging my helmet on the handlebars as I do so, taking the keys with me as I walk over to the old plane. Nearing the aircraft, I frown a little at the sight of the new bullet holes riddling the side of it, unaware that we'd taken so much damage earlier in the day. Sighing, I go inside, ducking in through the small door, only now hearing the music playing from the stereo in the cockpit.

"It's gonna need a new lick of paint." I call out to Barney, who I can see sat in his seat, the muscular man turning to look at me as he hears me.

"It's been a long time coming, so I'm not complaining." He replies, grinning at me as I walk into the cockpit, dropping into Christmas' usual seat, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach from his stare on me again. As I enter, he rakes his eyes over my body, subtly taking my every curve in from where he is.

"Fair enough." I shrug, leaning back slightly, having missed his look, "Got a beer?"

"Yeah, here." Barney hands me a bottle, opening it for me as he does so.

"Cheers." I thank him, taking a deep drink from it as he chuckles lowly, voice sending a bolt of heat through me.

"You're starting to sound like Lee." He remarks, sipping his own bottle with a smirk.

"Should I take that as a compliment? Or an insult?"

"Up to you." He looks over at me.

"Eh, I'll take compliment. You two get along like an old married couple, after all. Must mean something if you're comparing me to him." I decide, teasing him.

Barney laughs at my comment, lifting his bottle.

"I can agree with that." He hums, staring out of the front window.

For a couple of moments, we sit in companionable silence, drinking our beers, Barney eventually lighting a cigar. Taking a deep inhale, he offers it to me, which I decline, choosing to finish my drink instead.

"What do you usually do after a job?" Barney suddenly asks, glancing back at me.

Surprised, I think over the question for a second.

"Nothing, really. I get myself cleaned up, have a drink, then get some sleep. I don't do much else with my life." I tell him, knowing how pathetic I sound.

"What, you haven't got anyone you can hang out with?" He questions, seemingly confused.

"No. As I said before, I don't really have any friends outside work."

"Really? No boyfriend? Girlfriend?"

I shake my head, grimacing at the turn in conversation, just missing the slight darkening in his eyes as he looks me over once more.

"Huh. That surprises me."

Lifting an eyebrow, I look across at him.

"Why?"

He shrugs, making eye contact with me.

"Well, you seem like the person who wouldn't struggle to make friends. You're kind, funny, pretty. You know how to behave in the right situations, you're a good friend to have." He clarifies, seemingly unaware of the impact his words have on me, my heart throbbing as I listen to him, longing building up in me again.

"You think so?" I ask, not quite believing him.

"Yeah, I do." He frowns, looking over at me, "Why, don't you?"

I don't reply, knowing my answer well. He doesn't push it, observing me carefully, his gaze making me blush furiously.

"What'd you do to your hand?" The veteran suddenly asks, gesturing to my bandaged appendage.

"Hm? Oh, I just cut it on some glass back home." I inform him, flexing my hand a little, only to wince at the sharp spike of pain.

Wordlessly, Barney reaches across and takes my hand in his, his touch setting off sparks through me despite the gentle nature of it. Pulling my arm closer to him, he runs his fingers lightly over my skin, the rough calluses rubbing over the palm of my hand, each stroke making it harder for me to fight off the rising need within me. Being this close to him, able to smell him in nearly every surface around me, feeling his hand on mine has sparked the feelings I've been suppressing as long as I've worked with him.

Awkwardly, I pull away, swallowing tightly, trying to suppress the urges I'm suddenly feeling, needing to get myself together again. He doesn't stop me, his dark eyes regarding me quietly, observant as always as he seemingly considers something, his gaze sliding over me once more. After a moment, he puts out his cigar, leaning back in his seat.

"Mind doing me a favour?" The muscular man cocks his head at me, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Er, sure? What do you need?" I agree hesitantly, knowing that expression means only one thing: he's got something up his sleeve.

"Check that control panel up there, would you? It's been giving me trouble for weeks." Barney's eyes are glittering now in the dim light, clearly up to something.

"What, now?" I frown, confused by the instruction.

"If you wouldn't mind."

Lifting an eyebrow, I place my beer down and get to my feet, awkwardly reaching up to check the panel, which just so happens to be right above his head. I try to keep my body from leaning across him too much, but this is made difficult when I realise that the particular problem lies in the switches even further over. As I go to flick them, a pair of hands takes hold of my waist, suddenly yanking me down towards the chair.

Yelping in surprise, I feel my eyes widen as Barney pulls me down onto his lap, hands tight on my hips, pressing my back flush against his chest. His nose instantly finds my neck, the older man nudging at my skin until I tilt my head to give him access, goosebumps spreading across my skin as I try to process what the hell is happening, my brain short-circuiting with every one of his breaths. They fan out over the sensitive area, my own hitching in my throat as his scruff scratches over my skin, his lips not quite touching me yet, though I can feel their every movement.

I try to get back up, unwillingly, only for him to loop one of his arms around my front and slip his hand under my shirt, flattening his palm on my stomach to hold me against him.

"I'm not blind, you know, (Y/n). I've seen the way you look at me, the way you behave differently when you're with me. You're not as subtle as you hope." Barney practically purrs into my skin, his smirk obvious against my neck, sending shivers down my spine as I try not to groan.

"I- I don't know what you're talking about, sir." I manage out, not quite catching the sound of anticipation that escapes me when he suddenly presses his lips against my ear, whispering into it.

"Really? I think you know very well what I'm talking about." He grins to himself, the hand on my stomach running down to ghost over the waistband of my jeans, my body tensing in his grip, "Want me to demonstrate for you?

#the expendables #The expendables imagine #Barney Ross #Barney Ross x reader #Barney Ross imagine #Sylvester Stallone

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oldandkinky · 3 years

Note

Might I suggest Geralt and Jaskier's first time? Jask is into it until he sees what Geralt is packing and realizes,,, oop,, that's really big. But Geralt's spent all this time getting him ready, so he tries to convince him to take just the tip. But of course, it's not just the tip and at this point, it doesn't matter if Jask wants it or not. He's gonna get it.

DD:DNE. Contains dub-con, coercion, intercrural sex, anal fingering/sex, scent kink, possessive behaviour, forced enjoyment, crying

**********

Jaskier should have known Geralt would be big. He really should have. They've been travelling together on and off for ages, he's seen the man take baths enough times to be aware of that not so little fact.

And yet.

It's a bit of a miracle that they haven't fallen into bed until now, but he guesses it's mostly because Geralt didn't think he'd stick around and didn't want to actually give him any incentive to do so. Well, joke's on him, because Jaskier is nothing if not persistent when he latches onto someone. And Geralt just offers too many opportunities for truly inspiring material, so Jaskier would be a very big fool indeed if he let that slip through his fingers.

In any case, it took Geralt months to accept Jaskier as a constant in his life, and another year to respond to the bard's shameless flirting. It had all gone a bit fast after that, and that's how Jaskier finds himself with three of the Witcher's thick fingers in his arse on this balmy summer night, staring at the hard cock he has released from the confines of Geralt's criminally tight breeches.

"That- I- That is never going to fit, Geralt!"

Not to overtax a cliche here but the man's dick easily rivals that of a well endowed pony. Geralt is obviously a grower, Jaskier thinks with a hint of hysteria. Taking a fist seems like it would be easier, and Jaskier has tried that. Wasn't a fan.

Geralt just hums against his shoulder. Then he oh so slowly spreads his fingers, currently knuckle deep in Jaskier's arse. "We've put in all this work," he murmurs, "do you want that to go to waste?" There's the slightest pressure of the man's pinkie at Jaskier's rim, and he shudders.

"Geralt, I can't, you're just… You'll tear me apart."

The Witcher hums again, then kisses his way up Jaskier's shoulder, to his throat. Jaskier shudders again, the soft brush of Geralt's lips over his skin making him break out in goose flesh. "I'll be careful. I want to be inside you," he murmurs, "I just know you'll feel so good."

His pinkie pushes into Jaskier, and the stretch is starting to edge into pain. Jaskier wiggles, trying to escape the intrusion. "I'm sorry, Geralt, I want to but…" He huffs, annoyed with himself. "I'm scared. I'm scared it'll hurt, that I'll tear." He can feel the flush creeping into his cheeks. "I've never had someone this big."

Geralt presses closer, teeth scraping lightly over the shell of Jaskier's ear. Jaskier can feel the blood hot length of the man's cock against his thigh. "You're taking my fingers so beautifully, bard," he rasps, fucking said fingers in and out of Jaskier's hole so very slowly, so carefully. "You can handle me, I'm sure of it."

Jaskier huffs again. "Well, I'm not. I really am sorry," he adds softly. "Maybe you could… I don't know, fuck my thighs? Or I could suck you off." Not that he's entirely certain that he'll be able to fit Geralt's dick into his mouth.

"Hmm, alright. Give me the oil." Jaskier is a little ashamed at the relief he feels, and he apologises again as he hands over the bottle.

He feels strangely bereft when Geralt pulls his fingers out of his arse, his hole feeling wide open, and for a split second he considers telling Geralt he changed his mind, to go for it. He would like to get fucked, truly, it has been too long, but his fear of injury overrides his lust. He does have some self preservation instincts, thanks.

The Witcher spreads the oil over the insides of his thighs, and again Jaskier shudders. He feels every touch so acutely, the skin there so thin and sensitive, and he's breathless with anticipation. Geralt snakes one arm under him, under his neck so he can hold him close, and the other teases the tip of his cock between his legs. His breath is hot against Jaskier's throat, and the bard has to bite his lip. "Ready?"

"Yeah, 'm ready, you can-"

Geralt pushes forward, his cock sliding smoothly between Jaskier's thighs, drags over his balls and his own cock, and he can't suppress either his shiver of delight or the moan that falls from his lips. Geralt takes hold of his hip with his free hand and slowly guides him back and forth, and Jaskier closes his eyes and allows the Witcher to use him.

It's such a strange act, he thinks, to be on the receiving act of a thorough thigh fucking. By rights, this should not feel as good as it does, but his skin is too tight, pleasure coiling in his stomach. He reaches down and gently strokes his fingertips over his cock, hard and leaking now, before he lets them drift lower, until he can touch Geralt's prick. Fuck, it's so ridiculously thick. He wonders if this is a side effect of whatever magical bullshit is required to turn humans into Witchers.

Behind him, Geralt pushes his forehead against his shoulder, gasping softly. Jaskier hums. "Hm, how does it feel, darling?" Geralt just grunts, his fingers digging harder into Jaskier's hip. "You're so thick, I can barely keep my legs together." It's not even an exaggeration. Geralt's dick forces its way between his legs with ease, and Jaskier has to squeeze them together hard to create enough pressure for the Witcher to fuck into. It's ridiculous, really.

Geralt rocks him back and forth, and Jaskier closes a hand around his own dick, and the movement has him fucking his own fist with vigour. The Witcher grunts again, his arm tightening around Jaskier's throat and chest. "Fuck, Jaskier, can I-" He groans, fucks against Jaskier harder, and the bard moans.

"Can you what?" He's floating, pleasure singing in his veins. It's so good, so very good.

"Wanna come in you," Geralt rasps, his lips brushing over Jaskier's neck, and Jaskier shivers again.

"Geralt-"

"Just the tip, just- You'd smell like me," the Witcher groans, his hips stuttering. "Jaskier, let me, just- Fuck, please, Jask."

It's that that does it, the plea combined with the odd pet name, and Jaskier moans. "Fine, y-you can, but really, just- Just so you can-"

"Yes, I know, just the tip, I know." Geralt seems uncharacteristically frantic, and Jaskier takes a deep breath and tries to relax. Even just the tip will be… a lot, and he closes his eyes and wills his body to open, to let go of the tension of his own impending orgasm.

The Witcher rolls them over, until Jaskier is on his stomach, Geralt's cock a thick, hot line between his cheeks. Even that feels unreasonable, far too thick and long. Jaskier takes another breath and closes his eyes, lets himself go lax, pliant, and above him Geralt groans. There's more oil, a deluge of it, really, and then the blunt pressure of Geralt's tip at his hole.

"Shit," is all he can say when Geralt forces his way inside. It's not painful, not really, but it's skirting the edges of it, and Jaskier pants and curls his hands into the sheets. "Geralt…"

Above him, Geralt groans. "Fuck, you feel so good, bard," he groans, and Jaskier has no idea how he can keep up the constant pressure, the glacially slow press into Jaskier's body, considering how wrecked the man sounds. "So hot," he gasps, and then his hips twitch and suddenly his cockhead slips inside, the crown sitting snug behind the ring of muscle.

Jaskier jerks, yelps, and he goes rigid as his eyes water. It stings, burns, the stretch far too much, the feeling of fullness nigh unbearable. "Fuck, Geralt, take it out, please, it's-"

"Ssh, calm down." Geralt's voice is breathless, and then there's a heavy hand pressing against the small of Jaskier's back, forcing his hips up. The Witcher's cock slides in further, another inch that has Jaskier crying out. "Just, just let me, just-"

"No, stop, it's- I can't, Geralt, it hurts-"

"No, it doesn't." A chill runs down Jaskier's spine at the dismissive tone. Geralt stays still, but Jaskier can feel the way his thighs quiver. "I can smell it when you're in pain, and you aren't now. You're scared, but that's alright." He draws circles on Jaskier's back with his thumb, his palm pressed against his spine. "Just breathe," he murmurs, "you've taken the head, let me just-"

Jaskier throws his arm behind him, smacks Geralt across the chest. "No, I don't want- I told you no, so please, stop it." His erection has long since wilted beneath him, and he just wants it to be over. "Please, Geralt."

The Witcher is silent for a moment, and then he takes firm hold of Jaskier's hips. "You said you couldn't," he says softly, "that you'd tear. But you didn't."

Jaskier's heart sinks.

"Come on, we got this far." He squeezes Jaskier's hips affectionately. "Let me try."

He should probably fight, Jaskier thinks. Scream, try to buck the man off. He knows it's futile. The only thing that would achieve would be him driving that thick cock into himself far too quickly. Geralt is bigger, stronger, Jaskier's position the more vulnerable one by design, almost.

It doesn't matter what he wants, he realises. Geralt is going to fuck him.

And so he goes lax again, turns his face away and presses it into the sheets, and Geralt hums, pleased with his surrender.

The worst thing, Jaskier thinks as Geralt rocks into him in increments, is that it really doesn't hurt. It would have been fine, he realises as Geralt works his prick into him inch by tortuous inch, if only he could've trusted his friend to be careful with him.

His friend. Fuck.

Geralt grunts and groans above him, his hands holding him up on either side of Jaskier's head, and it's unbearable. Half of him wants the Witcher to just take what he wants, to plough into him, to force him open regardless of Jaskier's cries. Instead, he fucks him slowly, with endless patience and care, inching his way into Jaskier's guts with every slow roll of his hips.

"Feel so good," he groans, "knew you could take me," when they're finally pressed together hips to arse, when Jaskier is sure the man's cock is about to poke out of his mouth. "Fuck, Jaskier."

And then he does just that. He pulls back, and Jaskier chokes on his spit. It feels like Geralt is going to pull his insides out along with his cock, and he whimpers, hands grabbing hold of a pillow and holding on for dear life. The Witcher groans and shifts his weight, and then he pushes back inside.

Jaskier's mouth falls open as he lies there and just takes it. He has no other choice. Geralt fucks him slow and steady, every thrust making it feel like he's in Jaskier's throat, and all the bard can do is gasp and moan, tears sliding over his cheeks. Geralt leans down, presses Jaskier into the mattress more firmly, and the bard whimpers.

"You should be proud," Geralt groans, "haven't had a human who could take me in a while." He punctuates the statement with a particularly hard thrust, one that has Jaskier's head snapping back as he cries out. "You're so soft inside," the Witcher breathes before he presses a kiss to Jaskier's shoulder, and Jaskier sobs.

It seems to go on for hours, and somewhere in there Jaskier realises with a start that he's hard again, his own cock pressing hot and insistent against his belly. He wails and tries to lift his hips, to relieve the pressure, but all that does is to push his arse back against Geralt. The Witcher groans and takes hold of Jaskier's hips again.

"Yeah," he groans, "that's it," and then he pulls Jaskier up onto his knees. Jaskier screams as Geralt pushes in even deeper like that, his channel seeming to get tighter, and Geralt gasps. "Tell me you want it," he forces out, and Jaskier sobs.

"I- Geralt, please-"

The Witcher reaches under him, a pleased growl rumbling through him when he finds Jaskier hard and leaking. He wraps his fist around his cock and strokes, and Jaskier's arms give out, sending him back to his mattress. He cries as Geralt strokes him in time with his thrusts, and it's torture. "Say it, Jaskier," Geralt rasps, and Jaskier writhes beneath him.

"I want it," he gasps, voice thick with tears, "please, I want it, give me your come." The words burn in his throat, and Geralt groans like a wounded animal.

Jaskier wails when Geralt fucks into him a couple of times more, so hard and deep it makes Jaskier's eyes cross, can almost feel it when the Witcher stills, shaking and gasping as he spills deep inside Jaskier. He says Jaskier's name when he comes, and his hand speeds up on the bard's cock, and Jaskier falls over the edge with a scream.

The room is quiet except for their gasps as they come down, and Jaskier stares at the pillow he clutched to himself earlier. There are dark patches on the fabric, his tears and spit, indentations from his fingers. He swallows thickly.

"Get off me," he says quietly, and Geralt shifts behind him. His prick moves the slightest bit, and Jaskier has to swallow back bile.

"Jaskier-"

"I said, get off me!" He kicks weakly, drags himself forward, and Geralt obeys, pulls out slowly. Every inch that drags over Jaskier's abused rim is a new humiliation, and it takes all of his self-control to not turn around and kick Geralt in the face. He crawls to the top of the bed once the Witcher's cock drops away, tries so hard to ignore the trickle of come as it drips over his balls.

Geralt sits back on his heels. He doesn't even have the decency to look sorry. His cock hangs between his thighs, still half hard, and Jaskier chokes. The Witcher shifts. "Jaskier-," he tries again, and Jaskier picks up the pillow and tosses it at him. It doesn't do anything, obviously, but it's cathartic nonetheless.

"How could you?! I said no, and you just-"

"I knew you could take it," Geralt says quietly, and Jaskier just stares at him. "You're not the first to get cold feet at the sight of me."

"But I said no! Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

The Witcher shrugs. "Sometimes no means 'convince me'."

Jaskier stares a moment longer. Then he throws himself at the Witcher, fist first. He actually manages to punch Geralt in the jaw, something he regrets immediately, but damn if it doesn't feel good despite the pain. "You can't be serious," he yells as Geralt lets him wrestle him onto his back, and Jaskier keeps hitting him and Geralt allows it. "That's not what no means!"

Finally he has tired himself out, and he sags, sitting atop Geralt, breathing heavily, hot tears dripping down his chin. The Witcher looks up at him. His hands rest on Jaskier's thighs. Finally he says, "Did I hurt you, Jaskier?"

Again, bile rises in his throat. That's just it, isn't it? It didn't hurt. On the contrary, it felt… really fucking good. Still, Geralt took something that wasn't his to take. "That doesn't matter, Geralt. You can't just-"

"You came," Geralt interrupts, "and I couldn't smell pain on you even once."

"It doesn't work like that, for fuck's sake! I told you I didn't want you to fuck me, that's all that matters!"

"Your body said something else."

Jaskier groans. "You know what, fine. Good job, thanks for the orgasm, and fuck you. I'm leaving." He swings his leg over Geralt's to get off the bed, but the Witcher grabs him by the wrist. Jaskier yanks on it for a second before he looks up to glare at the man. "Let go."

"I'm sorry," Geralt says, and Jaskier deflates, just a little. "I didn't… I didn't know you really meant it. You didn't smell of fear, or pain, or…" He grimaces. "I didn't know."

Now he does look contrite, something Jaskier could never have imagined seeing on the man. He huffs. "When I say something like that, I usually mean it." Geralt's thumb strokes over his wrist, back and forth, and Jaskier sighs. He flops down on the bed beside Geralt, and the Witcher rolls onto his side to watch him. Jaskier chews on his lip for a moment. Then he heaves a sigh. "It did feel good, but… You can't do that, Geralt."

"Hmm." The Witcher moves closer. His arm is heavy when he throws it over Jaskier's waist, his lips warm and soft against the curve of Jaskier's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he repeats between soft kisses, "you're just… You drive me mad, Jaskier."

He chuckles. "That's nothing new."

"Not like that. Well," Geralt smirks, "not only like that. You felt so perfect around my cock, I had to…"

Jaskier shivers. Geralt presses closer, holds him tighter. His cock twitches where it's caught between their bodies.

"I can smell it," he breathes against Jaskier's throat. "Can smell my come leaking out of you." His palm is warm and heavy when he lays it over Jaskier's stomach. "Smell like you're mine."

The bard swallows thickly. "Geralt…"

The Witcher kisses his throat, his jaw, sloppy and wet. "Next time I want to see your face," he rasps, and Jaskier closes his eyes.

#oldandkinky #OldandKinky prompts #OldandKinky dub-con #OldandKinky Jaskier/Geralt

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winterandwords · 3 years

Text

A fucking massive ramble about my frustrations with available publishing options and the potential solutions I crave

I'm going to ramble about publishing. This is going to be long. My views on this change constantly and they're my views, about me and my writing, nothing at all to do with what anyone else could or should do and not a commentary on self-publishing in general or as an industry.

I guess before I go any further, it's probably worth saying that I don't have strong feelings about whether or not people like what I create. I've said it before - with any creative output, some people will love it, some people will hate it and most people won't care.

Once you go beyond basic standards of readability, it's mostly down to personal taste. So I'm not coming from a place of I'll feel bad about myself if someone gives my book a low rating or a negative review. I won't, any more that a positive review would make me feel like the best writer in the world. They're just opinions. People are welcome to think what they like and it's all good. If they're not my audience, they're someone else's. If they are my audience, great.

I'm not motivated in the slightest by the act of publishing a book, seeing a book with my name on it for sale, or how that might cause people to view me as a 'real' writer or whatever. There's nothing wrong with being motivated by any of those things. They just don't matter to me personally. My motivation comes from loving writing, connecting with other people who love writing (and reading), being creative every day and obsessively crafting stories from ideas.

Also, ongoing health stuff means that it's not realistic for me to treat writing as a full-time or even a part-time job. I'm literally not physically able to put in the hours consistently or work to a medium- or long-term plan or schedule, however much I would love to be. I absolutely have days or weeks when I can go hardcore with it, but I also have lots of times when I can't go at all. It is what it is and I'm grateful that I get to write, but my body does what my body does and I've learned to accept those limits instead of fucking myself up over and over again forever in an attempt to deny reality (speaking from years of experience).

So. Publishing. I've never had any interest in traditional publishing and I still don't. For a whole bunch of reasons. I'm not saying it's bad or it's not right for anyone, but it doesn't interest me and it's not something I want to pursue.

I always assumed mainstream self-publishing would be what I'd do because it was the only other option, but the thing is...I sort of hate everything about it? The systems and structures around it, how platforms operate, the sheer amount of non-writing time and energy (and money tbh) that goes into being anything other than totally invisible, and still quite possibly being totally invisible.

And I've never in my life thought about my creative endeavours and hoped that the endgame would be maybe making a very small amount of money selling my work in a place that runs on a secret algorithm and requires paid advertising either on- or off- platform to have any chance of discoverability, and where the opinions of random people are vitally important to any chances of success. I don't even mean people having to approve of the thing. I mean the fact that the amount of reviews and ratings, and when they happen, is so hugely important.

I've never hoped to obsess over keywords and metadata and how to game the system. I used to work in marketing and I really don't want to work in marketing again. None of this is bad or wrong. It's just not what I hope to spend my time and energy engaging with.

Often when people talk about that stuff, if they aren't all like "Woo! Algorithm secrets, how to spam the world in the hope of getting randos to rate your books and using all negative feedback to change how you write in future!" about it, they're coming from a perspective of it being a necessary inconvenience, something you have to do without really caring about it, in order to achieve the greater goal of publishing a book. Because they care about having published a book and/or they're aiming to make an income from it (and are able to approach it that way) and are viewing it as a business. Again, all good. If that's what you want.

But every time I think about that being the final step in this process that I deeply, passionately LOVE every other part of (literally, I fucking adore every single thing about writing books, all of it, all the time), I end up in a state of creative paralysis. I've spent so long trying to talk myself into being OK with something that I actively do not want to do and every time I start to feel like alright, I guess I have to do this so I'm just going to suck it up and deal with it (because I'm well past the mental gymnastics involved in trying to make myself feel genuinely enthusiastic about it) my creative brain shuts down and I can't write. I start getting totally overwhelmed by shoulds, losing sight of my own values, which is horrible.

The practical considerations surrounding how much time and energy I have available to put into a writing 'career' (quick reminder, this is health-related and it's not a case of making time or trying harder or working smarter or anything like that) means that I'm very unlikely to make a significant income from it anyway. I'm not insecure. I don't think my writing is bad or unworthy. I don't need people to tell me they believe in me and like my stories (I mean, thank you, people who say that, but it's not the issue). It's just how it is and there's no emotional self-judgement happening there. But it's a valid point because it's not like engaging with the systems I don't want to engage with will result in an outcome that would make it worth doing in the grand scheme of things.

The more I think about it, the longer I spend writing, the more I feel like being a writer (FOR ME!) isn't about publishing and selling books at all. It's about creating and sharing and connecting. Yes, some money would be awesome, and yes, of course I have moments of am I even a real writer if I'm not trying to sell books in the big book-selling places?, but making it a priority to the point where I spend precious time focusing on areas of the publishing business that I actively dislike doesn't make sense for me. I can do that OR I can write. This is actually a choice I have to make. And I would rather write.

Yes, I could just put my books up on the 'zon or wherever and not do any of the keywordsalgorithmreviewsratingsmarketingetc stuff, but it's pretty much guaranteed that they're going to sink like little dark fiction stones and the only thing I'd get out of it would be being able to say I did a thing. And honestly, it's not a difficult thing to do. Writing books might be difficult, but just putting them up for sale? Follow a set of technical instructions and your book is for sale. The end. Not a huge achievement IMO.

I would be totally happy with sharing my work on a platform that looked lovely, worked well and was the kind of place I could direct people to so they could read my books. I accept it's unlikely that what I write is going to do well on any existing web publishing platforms simply because it doesn't fit with the vibe and target demographics of those platforms. That's cool. I get it. But I would love to be able to direct folks from Tumblr, Twitter etc to somewhere they could read my books comfortably and easily, and throw some money my way if they wanted to, either through the site itself or via Ko-fi or PayPal.

I'm frustrated that Wattpad offers such an abysmal user experience for anyone not logged in to the site or app and, honestly, for anyone not paying for a premium subscription. I had work on there for a couple of years and it did OK (thanks to a surprise feature shortly after I joined and also my activity on the forums which no longer exist), but it's basically impossible to bring anyone there who doesn't already use the platform for reasons that I completely understand. Even folks I know who are super into Wattpad and do really well there have agreed that it's not somewhere to bring people to. Even to read free books.

I'm very much not Brand Wattpad and I would never expect to be or expect to achieve any great level of visibility among an audience that realistically isn't my audience. But it would be so cool to be able to externally share work that I post there and not have the reading experience be so wildly disrupted by unskippable full-screen adverts or content-obscuring prompts to create an account and log in (I get it, no shade, they're a business, this is just my personal frustration and I don't expect anything to change for me).

None of the other web publishing platforms I've looked at are as slick and aesthetically appealing as Wattpad from a reading or writing perspective (yes, this matters to me) and other more independent posting options, like chapters on a Ko-fi or Patreon blog, or on my own website, don't make for a good novel-reading experience, with all the clicking around and lack of ability to bookmark. Short stories on a blog are great. Full novels not so much.

And as much as I'm aware that posting ANYTHING online opens it up to potential copyright violation, I'd prefer not to make that simple by putting an entire book somewhere it can be easily copy-and-pasted out.

Also, with web publishing platforms, they tend to be very focused around critique and feedback on works in progress, which isn't where I'm at. I have no interest in sharing drafts with the world (outside of little snippets on Tumblr) and would only be posting completed, edited books. So doing that in an environment that feels very geared towards encouraging WIP feedback feels weird. Whether people like what I've written or not isn't going to make me want to change what I've already written or inform what I write next. It's irrelevant.

I'm aware there are sites where I could sell ebooks that are more like having your own shop than using an ebook sales platform. Even those are limited because of the fucking EU variable VAT bullshit. I don't have the brainpower to get into that now, but believe me, it makes it prohibitively complicated to sell ebooks independently online and it doesn't matter where in the world you are as the writer/seller or whether you earn enough to be VAT registered. There are some platforms that handle that side of things for you, which is awesome, but those still involve someone having to buy a book before they can read any of it at all. Which I'm starting to think I maybe don't really want?

This post itself is turning into a book >.< If you've gotten this far, I salute you. Thank you for reading my massive braindump while I think out loud into Tumblr. What I really want from the process of publishing my books is to...

- share what I write once it's completed, edited and at a point where I'm happy to share it, in an environment that's geared towards sharing completed works rather than posting unedited WIPs for feedback.

- be able to direct people from different places on the internet to where my writing lives and for them to have an intuitive and pleasant reading experience once they get there (also to have them be able to share links to it easily if they want to!)

- make some money, but not as the sole focus of my efforts and not as a priority over any other part of the writing and publishing process.

- write! Not dedicate time and energy to algorithms, marketing, choosing the perfect categories and keywords, hounding people for ratings and reviews, competing with people who have a fuckload of money to throw at promoting everything they do etc. I want to write, first and foremost, above all else, and while I absolutely want to share my work and hopefully make even a small income from it, I want to always have the time and energy left over from those efforts to dedicate to writing. I'm a writer, not a marketer or a seller.

And I feel so lost. Part of me feels like the right platform is going to come along at some point. Part of me feels like maybe it never is and I'm going to have to do a whole heap of shit I don't care about in order to do the thing I do care about (which feels dreadful because, as I mentioned, it totally has the power to make me stop caring about the thing I do care about).

I don't have a massive audience. I have a small number of absolutely wonderful humans who are interested in what I'm creating and hopefully one day I will have a slightly larger number of absolutely wonderful humans who are interested in what I'm creating, but I definitely don't have a successful-Patreon size of audience and I don't work well in a constant state of produce-and-update, partly because it fucks with my process and partly because it fucks with my health. Also, realistically I don't have the output volume to justify expecting people to subscribe to my creative existence.

I have no conclusions to draw yet. I'm just massively frustrated and I don't know where to go from here with any of it other than to keep writing. Bleh.

(unless a gang of us all join Wattpad for the sole purpose of reading each other's books, even if those books aren't on-brand for the platform, in which case hit me up because I would legit seriously consider that if I knew for sure a bunch of folks from here were definitely going to do it and I could read all your amazing stuff as well as sharing my own with you and we could have links to our Ko-fi or PayPal accounts or whatever if we wanted because I would like to pay people for writing stuff I love but I don't know just a thought and it's probably never going to happen but I'm putting it out there anyway so)

#the shit in my head #self-publishing #publishing #writeblr #writeblr community #am writing #writing community #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #tumblr writers #web publishing #alternative publishing

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amane-by-together · 4 years

Text

Hanafuda || Amane Yugi

(Part 1 of 10)

genre: fluff, school, slice of life, modern au (where all wonders live)

summary: amane yugi spends his school days skipping classes until he meets [name] [surname], a student from the other class, who was also skipping classes and eventually the two of them formed a platonic friendship. cutting classes and playing hanafuda together strengthens their friendship but soon unexpected feelings blossom between the two.

“Amane-kun.” [name] was shuffling the hanafuda cards together for them to play, she glanced over to the choppy haired boy who was sitting crossed legged against the rooftop's railings. “You going to the next class?”

“Nah.” Amane answers while fiddling with his locks of hair. “We probably skipped three classes this day, wanna skip classes in fourth period?” he smirked playfully.

“What class do you have in fourth period?” [name] asked, giving Amane some seven hanafuda cards. “Math?”

“Literature.” He received the cards and scooted in front of her. [name] flashed him a quick grin, her competitive side is showing all of a sudden when it comes to hanafuda. Amane stared at his cards and groaned. “Ugh, why do I get the worse cards?”

“I dunno, I wasn't looking when I was shuffling them.” [name] purses her lips together as she analyzes her cards. Her [eye color] colored eyes met with Amane's amber eyes. “Hm. Let's start!”

“You go ahead, [name]-san.”

“Hm~? Alrighty then~” [name] stretched her arms and let out a satisfying sound from her lips. She placed a sakura card with the tag to its match and took another card from the stack and placed it along with the cards on the center since it has no match. “Winner gets to sleep in the loser's lap.” she added.

“[name]-san, you know so damn well I'm not good with these things.” he murmured with a blush while putting a matsu card on the center.

Amane met [name] by chance. He often skip classes alone week by week, no one seemed to notice his absence which was fine by him. One day, he decided to stay on the rooftop and saw a girl sitting by herself with her phone. It must be fate or a coincidence, he thought.

The thing is, he has never seen this girl from the classes he attended to so he assumed that she's from the different class where Tsukasa, his twin brother, is. “Tsukasa-kun?!” she exclaimed at their first encounter. “What the frickety frack are you doing here?!”

Amane scratches his cheek and sweat dropped. He spoke. “I'm not Tsukasa though, I'm his older twin.”

[name] blinked she stood up from the bench and went over to Amane. The choppy haired boy slightly backed away from her. “Your tone is lowered down a bit, your eyes shaped like the crescent moon, yeah you're not Tsukasa-kun.” she muttered.

“I'm Amane Yugi, first year highschool, from class A.” he introduced himself while twiddling his fingers. “I'm Tsukasa's older brother though.” he chuckled.

“[name] [surname], same year as you but I'm from class B. Nice to meet you, Amane-kun.” [name] sat back down to the bench, she patted the extra space next to her. “Come, sit next to me.”

Amane hesitated a bit but shrugged and sat next to [name]. The female grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess you're skipping classes like me.”

“I've been skipping multiple times, no one noticed it yet, how about you?” Amane scooted closer till their shoulders touched, his bangs became parted from the side due to the slight wind that passed by.

“I started skipping on the beginning of first year.” [name] pulls out a packet of melon bread and gave it to Amane which he gratefully accepts it. Amane and [name] ate in pure silence, munching on to the bread that [name] bought recently which was originally for herself.

During those days of skipping classes, they would play hanafuda together on the rooftop. [name] would frequently win during their matches, guess luck really isn't compatible with Amane. The two of them quickly became close due to their meet ups when they're skipping classes together.

“Amane-kun, I know you have the full moon bright card.” [name] eyed him suspiciously but a shadow casted over to her face with a funny glint in her eyes. She placed an ume card with a red tag on it. “Red Poetry Tags, I win again~!”

“I couldn't even get a lot of yaku combinations.” Amane helped [name] to clean up the cards. “I knew I should give up the plain cards.”

Amane blushed at the thought of [name] laying down on his lap, he doesn't even know what to do when that happens, maybe he should play with her hair or massage her cheek?

[name] happily laid down on his lap, Amane grabbed his hoodie and placed it on top of her skirt. “Ne, [name]…” his hands reached over to caress her hair with his fingers. “Let's have lunch together.”

“Sure, I don't really have someone to share my lunch with,” Amane looked down on her laying on his lap and gave her a soft smile. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and started to pet her head, he reminded her of a cat. [name] would often keep her distance from others makes her cat-like according to him.

Though there's a part of [name] that doesn't want to open up to people, Amane was pretty much the same as her. “I got tired from work, yesterday.” he mentions with a small chuckle.

“Wait, you have a part time job?” [name] asked as her eyes piqued in interest, wanting to know what he does for work. “Where?”

Amane's cheeks grew warm, he slightly drooped his eyes and said. “I'm not telling you.”

“Why though?”

“You'd probably show up if I did.”

[name] turned her head to face his embarrassed look. She smiled playfully while wiping a dramatic tear from her eye. “You know me so well.” she faked a sniff.

“It's embarrassing...” Amane grumbled. [name] reached her hand out and placed it on to his cheek. He leans against her touch, the feeling of warmth and serenity made him smile a bit.

“But it's not. The fact that you're working is admirable.” [name] assured him with a smile unbeknownst to her that Amane's heart definitely skipped a beat on that act. “Pinch~” she cheekily grins while pinching his cheek.

“Owsh—” Amane tried to say while his cheek is being pulled by [name] and by that she releases her cheek. “That hurts...” he pouted.

“Have this for payback.” Amane returned the favor by pinching her cheek. Her cheeks were like mochi, which he likes to point it out just to tease her. “Mochiii~”

[name] deadpans. “You're treating me like some kind of mochi instead of a person.”

“Exactly.” The bell suddenly rang interrupting the two teens. Amane grabbed his bag that was on the bench. [name] punched a hole on the juice box using a straw and took a sip.

Amane leaned back against the railings, unboxing his lunch and ate. [name] didn't feel like eating, a juice box can satisfy her stomach after all. “[name]-san, don't you have lunch?”

“I forgot it at home.” she replied nonchalantly, she kept on having a stoic face until her stomach betrayed her by letting out a small growl. Amane stop eating halfway at the sound. “That’s nothing~” she denied that she was hungry.

“Here, I’ll give you some of my lunch.” Amane picked up a piece of egg roll using his chopsticks and raised it in front of [name]. “Say ahh~”

“O-Oi!” [name] flinched as she backed away from him. Amane’s brow creases in pure confusion. “Y-You don’t have to...”

“I can’t let you skip lunch, [name]-san.” The choppy haired boy smiled while putting the egg roll near her mouth, then his smile turned into a painful one. “Just take a bite, my hand is getting tired.”

[name] sighed in defeat, she was very hungry and was wrong about the juice box making her full. She tucked a hair behind her ear and ate the egg roll that Amane offered for her, his heart skipped a beat whilst she pulled away. “I guess, sharing lunch is not a bad idea...”

“Also, your lunch tastes good.” [name] scooted next to Amane to see his boxed lunch, she pointed at the ghost-shaped sausages, the bunny shaped rice balls and egg rolls. “You made that?”

Amane nodded with a slight blush on his face but the smile on his face didn't falter. “Well yeah, at the first time I made one of these they were all sloppy but practice makes perfect so I'm able to make one. If you'd like, I'll make you one or we can be matching too~!”

“Let's have matching lunches, duh.” [name] opens her mouth and ate another piece of egg roll that Amane was offering her. “But before that, I'll make us some lunch for us to share.”

“[name]-san, here have a sausage.” Amane feeds her the ghost-shaped sausages which the latter hummed contently. Amane took a bite on one of the sausages, he pulled out his phone and swallowed his food. “Hey, [name]-san,”

[name] stopped chewing her food. “Hm?”

“Wanna go home early?” Amane said with a mischievous grin, he's mostly the bad influence when it comes to reckless things like skipping classes. [name] had no idea why he has a lot of plans regarding this. “This is getting boring, don't cha think so?”

“And how do we plan to sneak out from school?” [name] asked, quirking a brow whilst waiting for an answer.

“We can jump off the roof.” Amane suggests.

“No. We'll freaking die if we did or even break our bones.” [name] shuddered. “If we did, they'll think it's just some lovers' su—”

“Nevermind that then.” Amane flailed his hands in front of her. “I guess we should wait till dismissal then...”

“Wanna play again?” [name] asked as she showed him the small box containing the cards.

Amane smiled. “Sure.”

Amane sat alone on a concrete bench, listening to the soft pitter patter of the rain surrounding him. Holding the clear umbrella from his right hand, he sighed as if he's gonna make a monologue or something.

He has friends from his class but none of them made him feel real. The only person who can make him feel like himself was no other than [name].

[name], to Amane, was everything to him. Meeting her was fate as if they were meant to meet in the first place. Back then, Amane admired some girls yet only because they're pretty. None of them were ever even close to him, he only felt shallow for them.

“Sorry for making you wait—” [name]'s voice cuts him off from his inner monologue. She held up her school bag on top of her head to prevent her from the rain. She grins blithely. “You don't have to be sitting the exact same way.”

“My uniform is a bit soaked.” [name] added with a wince. Amane licked the side of his lip and stood up to put the umbrella above her. “It was literally sunny recently.”

“Hm, I'll be taking you home.” Amane hands her the umbrella to [name], went over to his bike and puts his school bag in the basket. “Which way is your house?”

“That's like a novel way to put it but I guess that works.” [name] pointed out. “Sounds like a romance cliche, not gonna lie, lmao.”

Amane stepped on to his bike, [name] held on to his shoulders from behind. He was thankful that she didn't get to see his blushing face, because that's lowkey what every guy felt when there's a girl behind them on a bike.

Amane started pedalling. [name] closes the umbrella and sits down instead. “It stopped raining, by the way.” she declared.

[name] wrapped her arms around his torso and that's how Amane's face erupt in a huge blush. “[name]-san?!” he stammered at the sudden action.

“...Don't say a word about this.”

“I'm sorry, what?”

[name]'s face flushes, she buried her face on his back and that's where his heart started to beat faster. Out of all the girls he admired throughout the years, his feelings for [name] is different.

How so you may ask? When Amane is around [name] it's like he's sitting on a fluffy pink cotton candy or maybe standing on water that reflects a pastel pink sky with soft looking clouds with her. “You know, with you hugging me from behind isn't that kinda...” Amane turned his head towards [name] and smirked playfully. “Bold for you~?”

[name] tightens the hold in irritation. “Ack—” Amane's hold on the handle became wobbly but managed to maintain his balance. [name] elicits a small giggle in return.

“Hm, wanna skip again tomorrow?”

“If its with you, why not?”

“You're so cheesy.” [name] slightly smacked his shoulder. Amane turned ahead, a smile forming from his lips.

‘Nonetheless, I don't really mind skipping with you even if it means being with you...’

“Hold on tight, we're going downhill!” Amane gripped on the handles of his bike. [name]'s eyes widened when she saw that that they were about to go down on a slope.

“Cheers to us delinquents!” [name] cheered before they go down to the road.

Definition and terms:

hanafuda - flower cards that can be played in a variety of games such as koi koi (the type of game that [name] and amane are playing with the cards)

sakura - cherry blossom

matsu - pine tree

ume - plum blossom

-end of part 1-

thank you for reading, make sure to like and reblog if you love this post~

taglist: @closetwaffle @closetweebsmh

#tbhk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #amane yugi #amane yugi x reader #anime #hanako x reader #fluff #yugi amane #yugi amane x reader #amane #hanako kun #jshk hanako #toilet bound hanako kun #hanako

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lunarfly · 4 years

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Defending Harmione against some arguments Romione shippers use:

1. "Harry found Hermione boring."

Ok, I see where this is coming from. There is a scene in GoF where Harry thinks that Hermione isn't the same as Ron, and that having Hermione as his best friend would mean much more studying and much less having fun. But that doesn't mean he thought Hermione was boring, he just found studying and hanging out in the library boring, and since Hermione spent most of her time studying in the library, Harry didn't have as much fun. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Romione but I hate it when Romione shippers use that scene as an argument against Harmione, because Ron found it just as (if not more) boring to study at the library as Harry did! So it's completely unfair.

2. "Harry found Hermione unattractive."

Firstly, people's looks and attractiveness don't determine whether you like the person or not, you don't have to think the person is stunning to fall in love with them. Secondly, Harry didn't find her unattractive, he literally says he doesn't think she's ugly. And when Hermione was at the ball, Harry found her so pretty that his jaw dropped. He didn't expect her to look that pretty, and that's a bit sad, but once he did realize it was her, his opinion on her looks kinda changed and he started to see her as an actually beautiful girl ever since.

3. "Harry is too short-tempered for Hermione."

I've seen some Romione shippers say this, and I've been shocked every time I have. In OoTP, when Harry was having a hard time, was getting upset about everything and was yelling constantly, Hermione was the one person to handle it well and calm him down. She was the one to deal with him, she was the one who understood him best, knew exactly how he was feeling. If you don't remember, you can reread OoTP, and pay more attention to those moments, it will be clear afterwards. *Quick note though, Luna was the second person who understood Harry well, and Harry didn't have trouble talking to her, which is why I admire their pure friendship. 🥺

4. "Harry and Hermione barely even talked when Ron wasn't around."

No, that's not true. The thing is, Harry spent more time with Ron, obviously, because he shared a room with him, took the same classes with him and etcetera, and he was more similar to Ron as well, so it would have been easier to talk to him about things like Quidditch and studying. But when he was with Hermione, most of the time Ron was there too, and they discussed the most important things together, they wouldn't talk about their plans without Ron, they always included each other(🥺🥺🥺). And just like that, he barely had any time without Hermione. But when he did, (ex. GoF) he DOES talked to her about anything, and Hermione had no problem understanding him. If you've noticed (reread OoTP if you haven't), whenever Harry had a problem, he always went up to Hermione to get advice. And so many Romione shippers also use the scene from The Deathly Hallows against Harmione, when they're so shocked about Ron leaving them that they can't do anything alone and don't talk. They say it's because Harry and Hermione can't get along, and they need Ron to do something together, but that's not true at all. Actually, Harry was always the bridge to Hermione and Ron, but, forgetting about that, when Ron left them, they were so sad and miserable, that they lost all confidence, sadness took over them, and Harry didn't know what to say to Hermione, as he was very bad at comforting people, but you can tell he was paying lots of attention to her. That's why they didn't talk or interact much. And if you remember, right before Ron left, there's a paragraph talking about how Harry and Hermione were the only ones talking and Ron was sitting in the background, complaining about food. Please get the facts right before you say something. <3

5. "Their relationship would be so boring."

Ok, I don't fully understand what you mean by this. If you mean it would be boring for the audience, then you're not a real fan of Hermione. If you'd rather read about her crying over Ron for your own entertainment than have her happy but "boring", you can't call yourself a real fan of her, sorry, I don't make the rules.

But, if you mean that Harry and Hermione would be bored in the relationship, then let me say something against that. If you think they wouldn't be able to have a conversation with each other, then you need to reread my point number 4. If you're saying they wouldn't be able to interact and have fun together, then you're straight up lying. They've spent their entire lives together, they grew up together, went through all of the adventures together (including Ron too of course, but Hermione was also there when Ron wasn't, but I can't blame Ron), they've literally lived together so idk how you'd expect them to be bored. If there's something Ron and Hermione could do to have fun and not be "bored" that Harry and Hermione couldn't, name it, because I'm really curious. Yes, Ron was very funny, he has made Harry and Hermione laugh a few times throughout the series (and I love him for that), but jokes aren't all it takes to keep a strong relationship.

That is all I'm going to cover for today, there's so many more reasonable arguments against them that I'll fight against in the future, but, for now, that's it. I mostly see Romione or Dr*rry shippers say these, but others say them as well. As for Drarry, it's pure toxicity, basically the LGBT version of Dr*mione. As for Romione, it's an amazing ship. I love it so much, I'll defend Ron over Draco and I won't accept Ron bashing for anything, not even for Harmione. He deserves better than Draco stans coming at him for nothing. Romione is pure, Ron would do anything for Hermione, and vice versa. And the same things happen with Harry & Hermione. That's why these ships are so similar and I love them both very very very much. <3

Also, I'm putting this post under the Romione tag because I have also defended Ron in this, and I truly love Romione, so please don't be offended by that. 🥺 As for the Dramione/Drarry tag, y'all can be offended as much as you want. IDC.

#harmione #harmony #harry potter #hermione granger #harry and hermione #hp ships #harry potter ships

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kikyoinuyashashipper · 3 years

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Anime, is anime. Nothing is gonna be or look as it should. Whether it's a specific anime or anything else, but also this is facts 😂 I wonder what I'd look like if I was a anime character 🤔?

One of The awesome,funny and honestly interesting thing about it.

Things are not always as they seem, they could look one way but be absolutely the opposite and visaversa, not only is this kinda realistic in a wayis, let me exonerate, people are all different whether it be skin color sizes,hair color, personalities and whatnot, there are also those in real life that look older than they actually are, and the same can be said for the opposite, there are people that look younger than they actually are, and as of recently I've noticed the Loli controversy is starting up again, I personally don't really care for loli's that much like I have a crush on one like honey senpai is shouta(male older than he looks because he has child like features opposite of Loli ) I'll just turn myself into a Loli to be with him no big deal, don't get me wrong the Loli and shouta are adorable and really cool at times, but for me when I simp over a character I'm kinda into those like ban 7deadly sins(got them abs😆) but if you show me a image of them "aged up" or more defined and with more mature looking features (abs) that's what I'm into you show me an adorable anime guy like mitsukuni Haninozuka imma be pinching cheeks and snuggles, and eating cake, and stealing a kiss or 2 that's, now I've seen mitsukuni with more mature features/having puberty/growth spurt hitting him hard and I simp, and this is me with preference I guess you can say, I like anime abs, I don't mind a guy that's cute and chubby tho because I can just imagine them with abs and I simp, and without abs I'm also a person who admires a great personality not just the body, like Viktor from Yuri on ice I haven't seen it yet but I at least know his name but he's adorable chubby and smoking when he loses the weight 🤤🔥❤️.

And no matter what age they originally are, I'm not going to be thinking about that, I'll be thinking of me and that character I like regardless, if the character is younger ,then I'm younger and we will hold hands, and get ice cream, puppy love, if we are older still holding hands, and getting ice cream and throw in the romantic aspect, such as dates marriage, having intercourse, having kids,a future, growing old together,then dying and going to heaven together yeah I can imagine that as well, I can change them older or younger or myself older or younger because it is fiction and a fantasy and there is no reality, it can be whatever I want in the fantasy if I imagine a age difference since imma girl and their the boy if I'm older I automatically think of omgoodness he's in love with his senpai, or his best friends mom, or his babysitter, or with the older single lady who helped him once when he was little who he spent time with over time having fun, like going to the park talking about videogames,or other normal everyday stuff, who he grew a crush on over time and feels it turned into something more when he got older, her thinking of him as a child until he matured/legal age out of school already and he made moves on her showing he wanted to be anything but a child with her,her not accepting his feelings,yet over time he grows on her and her feelings change and decides to give him a chance, then they get married and live happily ever after, same thing if it's the opposite way. How a character looks despite age depends on the creator as in most cases age isn't important for the moral or for the telling of the story. Now for definitions, Loli has 2 definitions and both go for this word. Loli is a female child, that's one definition now here's the 2nd definition as well Loli also means a adult or person of legal age who has the attributes, features, or characteristics of a child while being anything but that.

Shouta is the opposite of Loli its a male child/ a adult who has the attributes/features/characteristics of a child but is anything but that.

In real life I have been mistaken as a child/minor I've been told I looked 12 or 16 very rarely ever got an answer above those ages highest I got was 20 something. When I got called 12 I was a 17 (turning 18 after graduation) senior in highschool, even the freshman thought I was one of them. Now I'm 19 gonna be 20 soon and am out of school and was called a 16 yr old by a 17 year old girl still in highschool.

I guess I could be defined as a Loli when I'm anything but a child.

Yet I'm also well endowed on my upper half of my body and have back pain because of it, in other words I got a pair of tits, and was called a hentai girl, by other people who liked manga and anime as well, even though I was called a child by others. So I have in body mature features (defined by a person or two as a hentai body),by my face I'm a Loli and look like a child(also defined by a person or two as younger than I am) when I'm a adult. So I'mma Loli hentai girl in the real world? No idea, but wait I can't define myself by fictional standards? correct. so imma human being who looks younger than they are.

Imma tag everyone I can.

This can actually go for all aspects of animation not just anime, Princess's are from 14+ snow white was 14 fun fact there, wouldn't really be able to tell. Age difference is in everything, and I still enjoy snow white it's actually one of my favorite Disney films before and after I even knew this information, and I honestly have no problem with it, mostly because for that time it's considered normal, and I was a kid and just saw a princess movie, I didn't think that their ages were relevant to the story/stories. Besides sleeping beauties 16 got spindle pricked on a spinning wheel and fell into a deep sleep, Wich was going to be death but was changed. In the original sleeping beauty, she was put to sleep for 100years as was her kingdom, the kingdom was covered in brambles/thorns (rose thorns to be specific but they didn't bloom because they were enchanted and used for defense to make sure the spell couldn't be broken), and each time someone thought to go near, or try to save the kingdom to free it's people the ground would break open underneath them swallowing them up, right where the brambles/thorns started at the end of the kingdom, so even if they managed to get past the area where the earth broke the enchanted thorns (rose thorns) would rip them to shreds, with their blood and bodies fertilizing the ground and the thorns would grow. This happened for many years until everyone forgot about it, then finally 100 years had passed and the roses finally bloomed, a prince was coming through and had heard of the kingdom and of the many who lost their lives trying to enter and was going to explore and see if he can find a way in, to see the beauty that was rumoured to live there. When he arrives the Thorn's were in bloom and the ground didn't break but allowed him to pass, the thorns actually even made way for him to go through. When he got into the kingdom he saw everything and everyone fast asleep noone had aged a day, then he explored and discovered the princess and this is where it gets kinda dark compared to Disney's version. So rape trigger warning don't read unless you want and can handle it.

..................................................................................

The prince saw the beauty and instead of doing true loves kiss to break the spell, he raped her multiple times and then he left and never returned. Beauty then became pregnant while still asleep, she had twins, and as they wriggled around searching to breastfeed one of them caught onto her finger with the spindle splinter in her finger, it sucked on her finger and managed to get the splinter out, Wich then awoke the princess and the rest of the kingdom, who was a very confused princess, and now a new mother with no idea who "prince charming" was. And that's actually the original telling of sleeping beauty, there are other versions that are less dark,but this is the original as far as I know and the oldest I could find that was in English.

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timeandspacelord · 3 years

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I've spent the past couple days thinking way more about my childhood and mental health stuff than I usually do and it's not looking great, lads. Like, there is a very strong possibility that I was my parents' "do-over baby" because I was conceived/born probably right around the time my sister's health problems would've started showing. And if that's the mindset my parents had while I was growing up... that would explain a lot of the bullshit. It would explain why so much of the bad in my life just got overlooked and breezed past while the good was mostly just treated like it was nothing special. If they decided that I would be the "normal" child, closer to the "perfect" child, then it would probably make sense in their minds that I wouldn't need as much support as their disabled child. That I'd be able to manage on my own while they dealt with my sister's more complicated issues. It would also go a long way towards explaining why they seem unable or unwilling to accept that my physical and mental health problems are anything more than passing things. Because I'm not supposed to have problems, I'm supposed to be the better one. Which isn't to say I think they don't love my sister (as much as they can), I just think that they, like so many parents of those with disabilities, are maybe a little resentful of the extra work they have to put in when it comes to her. So they wanted me to be a child with no problems, no extra work required, self-sufficient and all that. And for a long time, that's what they thought they had, because that's what they wanted to see. But not only has that skewed their baseline perception of me, it's also skewed the way I present myself to them. I've always had to be self-sufficient and unproblematic and less emotional than I actually am because the behaviour that fit their image of me was the behaviour that got rewarded. It's like an incredibly extreme form of masking that I've been doing since such a young age that it's kind of become part of who I am. To the point that I don't even really know who I am and I'm literally incapable of talking to my parents (or really anyone) about any of this. And this isn't even the full extent of my parents' bullshittery either. But this specifically sucks because it explains so much of the emotional neglect stuff, even if this was just on a subconscious level for them. And if it wasn't and they did have me specifically so they could have a "normal" child? That's so much worse and makes me feel like shit for having been born! And for not living up to an impossible standard that was probably never achievable for me anyway. Like, I know none of that is on me but it still feels icky to think about. And I'll probably never actually know if this is true because I'll never bring it up to anyone and I doubt my parents would admit to something like that, but the fact that it's probable is gross. I don't know, if you ask me my parents never should've had children because their combined gene pool turned out to be a shitshow and I have had more than my fair share of time wishing I'd never been born, but whatever, right?

I guess the point of this, aside from me just needing somewhere to write all of this out, is that sometimes abuse is really insidious and maybe even subconscious in terms of emotional abuse, people should probably examine their reasons for wanting children (and if they're willing/able to care for disabled children w/o feeling like they had something stolen from them) before they have any, I don't remember the vast majority of my childhood but what I do remember is pretty much all bad, and holding your child to standards beyond their capabilities without providing any kind of support is a dick move that will impact them for the rest of their life

#personal #maybe don't reblog this one #I just needed somewhere to put all this #again that's not even the half of what's all rolling around in my head these days #we're processing a lot rn and I'm honestly not sure why #that might be a lie it's probably because I've finally got an appointment to try to get diagnoses for stuff #so now we're sifting through all the things so we know what to bring up #yay mental health

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kabootarandishaan · 4 years

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Title: Priority

Summary: It's an aesthetic fic!

Pairing: Jotaro/reader

A/N: I was listening to I Choose by Layton Greene (y'all needa watch and listen to that music video asap) so I guess the aesthetic would be kind of clean white bathroom with huge mirror vibes, I know its specific but my rules, also I'm choosing Jotaro just because I feel like he's the one I'd think would have the most communication issues. Inspired by @kakyoin-shades . Reader is described vaguely so this is rated E for everyone! Also image is not mine credit goes to whoever owns the image

Warnings: um idk Jotaro being kind of abrupt but fluffy mostly

You tried to assure yourself that you knew what you were getting into. You quickly realized that with Jotaro everything wasn't as easy to pick up as you originally thought. You had been there with him throughout the entire journey. You stood by his side even after Dio had been defeated and thought maybe after that, things would become more normal or at least a little more stable. You understood Jotaro was not the type of person to open up and that your relationship would be something new for him to navigate. You had been very understanding of his situation given the circumstances I mean the man almost lost his mother, practically the only family he had.

But you also made it important to clearly communicate to Jotaro that a relationship was a two person job. You made sure that you were both equally invested going in and he seemed to understand that at the time. He said he would try his best to work with you if he had any insecurities or issues because he cared about you. But the last month had been hell. You had no idea what was up with Jotaro he seemed way more irritable than usual and whenever you would try to talk to him he would blow you off with a "Yare Yare, you're making a big deal out of nothing!"

You tried to reason that maybe he was experiencing some PTSD or he just had a bad day but his behavior just didn't seem to improve. It seemed his attitude didn't go unnoticed by the others as well because Joseph brought up with you one day, "Y/N has Jotaro seemed a little off to you?" You didn't wanna make it seem you couldn't handle your own relationship and eventually were able to change the topic. But the fact that Joseph brought it up made you realize the problem wasn't with you it was actually Jotaro.

You were cleaning around one day, something you did when stressed, and eventually made your way to the bathroom. You always had music on when you cleaned and stopped to have a little singalong in front of the huge mirror.

You call me crazy to think of

All of the things that I do

When you constantly do all the shit that I'm sick of

Sick of you saying all the times I might

Doing me wrong, pretending that it's right

You quickly realized the lyrics felt very reminiscent of your current situation and noticed you felt a small tinge of relief as you were able to vent to some degree. You continued feeling yourself as the bad bitch you were.

So mad, I could swing on you,

But I know that ain't gon' fix it

You just gon' get me arrested

And I'ma leave you in stitches

I'm just so done with you

Got me like how did I take what you put me through?

I should've been left you

You felt a sudden rush of confidence overtake you as you sang aloud with the lyrics looking at yourself in the mirror pointing and dancing. After quite some time had you felt this type of freedom and you were not going to stop anytime soon.

But instead I kept on waiting

Being patient for the day when

You would say you're tired of playing...

Fingers through my hair, you're playing

Got me looking in the mirror

Only one thing left to say is

My bad

I've been unfair to you

I played me for a fool

If it's between him or you

You're the only one I choose

As the chorus came on you felt two large hands engulf you in an embrace from behind. You saw those teal eyes stare at you through the mirror and could see regret. The next thing you saw, which you didn't expect, was him mouthing along the next couple lines

It's you I choose

You're the only one I choose

You turned around arms crossed as you were still upset at his lack of explanation for his trash attitude. He still held you only slightly looser, after noticing you were expecting a response he cleared his throat. You noticed the tips of his ears turn red, although you wanted to crack a smile, and you held your expression. "I don't know how to say this Y/NN." You cut him off "How about you start with an apology and try to explain yourself."

You said it a little abruptly but who could blame you your attempt at being reasonable with him didn't work. "Yare yare." You looked on your stern expression did not falter the slightest. "I'm sorry. I know I promised I would try and communicate my issues but I didn't and I have no excuse. I was scared to let you in. I didn't want to take you down into my low but now I realize that only cause us both to hurt more. I'll try harder. Sorry again."

You sighed, "I accept your apology Jotaro but I want it to be clear that we both went into this relationship understanding that we Both have to put in effort. You hurt me and that's not okay." You paused and turned around facing the mirror one again. You leaned back against him, your neck slightly resting on the base of his shoulder. "You promise to try harder and work on communicating?" You looked at him once more through the mirror.

His grip around you tightened, "I want you in my life and in order to keep you in my life I will do my best to work with you. So yes, I'll try." You smiled, "Good, but if you try that mess with me again you better remember if it's between him or you you're the only one I choose." You pointed from him to yourself in the mirror showing that you recognized yourself as your only priority.

#jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo #jjba #aesthetic fic #mirror #not my photo #jotaro imagine #im writing again #thats pretty cool #the pictures at the bottom idk why #is this a crack fic idrk #these tags are getting out of hand #jjba fanfic #jojos bizarre adventure stardust crusaders #stardust crusaders

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 5 years

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Whatever Keeps You Up At Night

Boy, this fic has been one I've been picking at for months. And while it's not perfect, I think I'm going to go ahead and post it cause I feel pretty good about it. There's a few song, movie, and poem references. I'll be surprised if someone gets them all.

In this fic the reader thinks about sleep

______________________

Clouds drifted across inky skies. Your central heat was cranked up just enough to leave you defrosted, but not any higher in fear it could fail. You thought of getting something to drink, but you didn't want to leave the warmth and comfort of your bed. Winter wasn't your favorite season, but it reminded you of him.

Oh, if you would've been in his home, there certainly would've been more sound. It wouldn't have necessarily come from the house itself, but from him; his breathing, footsteps, or the light whistle of his teeth which covered up his snoring; its sound feeding the springtime in your heart. If you had gone over when he was ready to go to bed, he would've stayed up and entertained you. Yet, none of that could've taken place if he wasn't home. So, you weren't in his home, you were in yours.

In the sharp corners where shadows laid, you dared not step until it was noon. In the daytime, though mostly in the evening was the draft which never went away and gave you a chill; causing you to wrap your duvet closer. It smelled like Ricks detergent, and you were surrounded by the night. You weren't a stranger to its lonesome ways, nor were you acquainted with it, but you existed in it; willing yourself to be anything other than awake. Try as you may, tonight's sleep might not come so readily, because you already begun to think about him and dearly wished he was home; on earth; in this dimension; anywhere close if he could help it; except for right now where it could not be helped that he was on assignment and that you had to be without him much longer then you wished, but you would wait as well as go on because you did have a life; albeit a little bland without him.

At night, while part of the world was quieting down, other parts were waking up and heading off to work; you could do either; so could he. Sometimes you would work through the night, especially when you had an idea itching to be written, but most often you would sleep; or at least try to sleep with hopes of having sweet dreams; at times your dissociated thoughts having found their way back to you. You had never been much of a dreamer, and you rarely liked to dream; you never felt rested enough in the morning after, but at times it was nice; more so if Rick was in them. Thoughts of how he was doing kept you up at times - as it was doing now - and you could only wonder where in the universe he currently was, but you'd almost forget about it if anxious thoughts took over, and problems you hadn't solved reappeared. Sometimes thoughts of the past intermingled with your dreams; as pleasant or heartbreaking as they could be.

Tossing and turning were options you could accept, but if he was available, you'd call Zeta-7 to hear him, and allow his cheerfulness to ease you into a gentle submission; to relax beyond compare, and leave you in a decent enough mood to doze. Why, you could listen to him explain anything from quantum mechanics to the variety of animal mutations which existed in a galaxy far, far away; to be lulled and softened by his cadence, was a treat you wouldn't have traded for anything in the world. If it happened on the rare chance that you were overcome by exhaustion, you'd just fall asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow; not understanding how or when you'd close your eyes, though you were always grateful when you did. However, if it so happened that you woke up randomly without a cause, but from a feeling, then you knew; you had just missed him; his existence being like a midnight soliloquy; like a ghost, he was sometimes there, but then wasn't; it wasn't that difficult to see why, but it still surprised you nonetheless.

It seemed that once you had given Rick the permission to visit whenever he liked, he did; being woken by the familiarity of his presence on more than one occasion. It was neither ambiguous or obscure, but there, like the air you breathed, being a living, positive force of goodness; vital to your existence. Just when you thought there were no other comparisons to be made, he continued to become and shape himself into the extraterrestrial being that he caused himself to be. Oh, some days you would miss him something fierce, but whenever you'd find yourself so alone, you'd remember that he'd come; whenever it was that he could.

Now, he wasn't sloppy, nor did he hide that he had come by, but he was careful. Quietly, he would check about the house, then would step into your bedroom with caution as though sleeping beauty might wake. At times you only caught the blur which barely stepped out of the doorway, or was soothed by the hand which smoothed out your hair, and other times it was just his scent which lingered; an echo of his existence. Once he sang you a Mexican love song, which made your heart burn, and it seemed interwoven into your half-woken state; having been so drowsy you thought you had dreamt it. And because he worked at random hours, and sometimes for days and weeks at a time, he'd come and lightly kiss you hello and goodbye before going back to work, though your recollections were few. It was precious, and you enjoyed it; at least when you were conscious of it. Most of the time, however, you were only aware of the warmth which touched your cheek and of the blanket which had been placed over you when you were cold; these being the other ways in which he showed you he loved you.

Yet, it happened one night, just as you were about to go to sleep after having spent a better part of the day typing, you saw the familiar green glow in the hallway, and then saw him come through your doorway. He looked at you as though you were a ghost, and you stared into the dark, your nowhere man being there; somewhere out of your reach. As you were about to turn on the light, his gentle touch stopped you. Unsure of what he was about, you didn't struggle as he pulled you into an embrace, but having him squeeze you with all his might, trembling despite himself left you unsettled. “Ricky," you wondered; a flutter of anxiety starting to build in your chest. "what's the matter?”

“I-I-I wish I could just stay here with you,” he began in a low voice; the scent of smoke and disinfectant coming off of him as you rubbed his back. “where n-nothing bad happens.”

He had smelled like this before; as though he had been busy with janitorial duties instead of sorting through papers or lab samples. “Bad day?”

“Y-yeah."

Bad wouldn't be the beginning as to describe it; of that you were sure. You assumed it was another case where he was responsible for the lowly, more humble work which his workmates didn't care to do; or was assigned as to demean him; bullied into doing; likely all of the above. “I'm sorry,” you softened. “I hope it wasn't that bad.”

“It's - I'll b-be fine. I just - I-I had to see you.”

A chill ran through your back. Under any other circumstances, you could've interpreted that as one of his romanticisms, but his quiet desperation brought about a fresh wave of worry instead. "But can you see me in the dark?"

"I wouldn't have been able to if it wasn't for my bionic eye. Did I-I tell you about that yet? I'm sorry if th-that sounds gross."

"I don't know if you told me yet. I guess now is a good time as ever, but maybe you can explain it in detail another day."

"I'm s-sorry, I know you were about t-t-to go to bed, but I - all I could think about was you."

Warmth flooded your cheeks, and you wished you had worn something cuter instead of an old pair of pajamas, but you knew he didn't care. Zeta-7 was lovely that way. You tried to think of something flirty to say in return, but a yawn escaped you instead."Boy, I really have bad timing, d-don't I?" he commented.

"Dear, don't get me wrong, I love having you here," Which was true in all respects, though you wondered if you could put him at ease. "but maybe… perhaps it would be better if we went to the living room. I can get you something warm to drink if you'd like.”

“Y-you don't have to do that." he said in a hurry. "Besides," he continued. "don't - don't I look better this way?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you cooed.

“No, you don't. Why would you say that? I already know you as you are and I can say for certain that you are the light of my life. To me, you've always been handsome. In fact," you smiled up at him; unsure if he could see your sincerity. "you're the man of my dreams. I dream of you, of that darling smile, of your winning personality which lights up my days, and of your sweetness. Your unconditional sweetness. If you don't believe me, you can always check my dreams.”

“Gosh, if life….si la vida pudiera ser u-un sueño," he sighed, "then I'm sure it'd be you. If I-I had the time it'd be nice if we could - if I could dwell there; in that dreamland of yours. I bet it'd be swell, and normally I'd think all of that - all of which you suggested would be swell, but today hasn't been--it hasn't been that kind t-t-to me."

"I know, but isn't there anything I can do for you Rick?"

He didn't answer. You moved a hand to caress his face in hopes of soothing him but instead found a bump on his right cheek which caused him to wince. “What was that?"

"It's - it's nothing."

"Don't you lie to me Ricardo," you reprimanded. "this is something."

Gingerly, you followed where his skin was warmer than usual and was raised. Your heart sank at the thought of what could've happened. "Oh no, did they…. did they hurt you? What happened?"

A noise escaped him, but he neither confirmed nor denied. This, in turn, made you reluctant to want to return him to the monsters, but you knew he would go; whether or not you wanted him to. The villainy which existed in his kind and Zeta-7's rarity made him such an easy target. You had talked to him about it before, about how he should speak up, but the harsh reality of his situation prevented him from doing so, and you wondered how much more would they try to take from him. True, he wasn't a broken man, but even bravery needed its encouragement and you were going to love him all the more for it because that's all you could do at the moment. "My sweet, sweet man, do you know what I love about you?"

Passing a hand through his hair, you were careful not to brush his cheek, to which a sigh escaped him; the likes of it as though he only just now began to calm. You continued. "I love that no matter what, you'll persevere and continue to be determined. You're so strong, that I couldn't be prouder, but please, don't let them take you away from me."

The arms which had almost been lenient in their affection held you a fraction tighter; immovable in the way in which you were grounded. It was as though being in want of comfort, he in turn desired to return in kind; his impalpable emotions giving way to simpler, softer ones. "I missed you. I-I missed this. Warm hugs and a-affirmation."

"If it's hugs you want," you replied softly. "you can have as many as I can give you. Affirmation? I'll give you enough to reach the moon. I'm no scientist, but somehow, I know you could make it come true."

Warm lips kissed your forehead, and a relieved chuckle brushed your cheek. "The math w-would be nearly impossible."

"So there's a chance." you giggled.

Leaning in close enough, he pressed his forehead to yours. "Yes, th-there is if you believe it enough."

"I do believe, but more so I believe in you. How...how can it be that someone as incredible as you would be harmed by people who look the same? To hurt my man of all people? I ought to get some training and become your bodyguard or something. It just isn't right for anyone else to touch even a hair on your head."

“It um - it was an accident. I sh-should've been paying attention to where I was going. I know it seems bad, but it isn't." which you knew wasn't completely true. "However, I'll get it treated. I-I promise.”

"Why don't you let me take a look at it? I have a first aid kit in the hallway. And while I never finished my medical training, I know enough to treat this. Please, why not let me play nurse and help you feel a little better?"

“M-mi corazón, I would rather y-you don't see it. It looks worse th-then it actually is, but it's fine. Really, I-I swear it is. You've already done more than enough.”

Pulling away a bit, you wondered. "Have I? It seems all I've done is talk you into oblivion, but what about you?"

"Wh-what about me?" he wondered.

"It isn't like you to swear. I haven't heard you swear yet." you teased, pressing a soft kiss on his injury. "I doubt I ever will."

"It's not th-that kind of swear," he began to explain, but then he stopped, thought for a bit, then chuckled. "but I-I-I see what you're - I understand the joke."

You noticed that Zeta-7 avoided standing in the moonlight, and while you couldn't really see him, you didn't relent in your expressions. “Man, if I would've known you were coming over, I would've dressed up a little and made sure there was extra food for you to eat. I'm sorry.”

“It's alright, I-I already ate. I finally used my coupon for Rick's Diner near main street."

Playing with the collar of his sweater you wondered. "Was it any good?"

"It um - it was alright, but I think next time I'll pack some food to warm up. You um - you smell nice by the way. I'm sorry if I-I smell.”

By now, you had gotten used to the variety of smells which could've wafted off him. He had smelled better and worse before, but that only added to his curious ways and charms. "Well, if you're so worried about it, then why don't you stop being so shy and come a little closer. That way you could smell like me."

The silence which proceeded was almost frightening. Hmm, you might've gone too far again, but you couldn't help yourself; half the time he opened the way for light teasing. And yet, you had told yourself before that it wasn't so kind to play with an old man's heart; despite the best of intentions, it might not have been perceived that way, but in the quiet of the room, you could feel his mature heart quicken at your words, and the light rustle of clothes as he fidgeted despite himself. He was so adorable, it was almost criminal, but before he could stumble upon himself in embarrassment, you added. "I was just kidding. Goodness, I guess I have bad timing too. At least where jokes are concerned. Still, to have you here…it's better than a dream."

Again, there was a silence that proceeded and you felt the tug of doubt, but he broke the silence with his sincerity. "I-I never thought you - that I'd be so lucky to enjoy moments like th-this. Let alone with a-a woman."

"In the dark?"

"Whenever. I'm s-sorry I still get embarrassed, but you make me nervous at times. Y-you can be a little unpredictable."

"Good," you brightened. "keeps things exciting. Though, everytime you say something like that, it makes me wonder if it'd be the last time I'd hear you say it. It better not be."

"In my line of work," he admitted solemnly, "there's always a-a chance of that happening, but it's not - I don't like to think about it. However, it does make me appreciate that I'm able to have someone when I - when I'm lonely. I know how pitiful that sounds and how much I repeat it, but you don't know how it's been a great comfort. If you weren't here I'd…"

Though the words died in his throat. You had a feeling as to what he might've meant to say, and frankly, you were glad to not have heard them. Rubbing his back, you cooed. "It's okay. It's all going to be fine. I don't mind how many times you tell me, because I know how much you mean it. I'm right here if you need me. As I am now, and always will be. If you'd like anything...if you need to or want some fresh clothes to change into, I'm sure I can find something around here that might fit. If you want to stay here with me, that's ok too. Whatever you need, I'll be happy to help."

"Allowing me t-t-to come here is more than enough."

Resting a hand on his chest you wondered. "Are you sure? You could stay. Couldn't you stay?"

"I-I wish I could princess. You don't know how much I'd rather be here, but I-I don't want them coming here t-t-to retrieve me, so it's better if I go soon."

"Why?"

"If the guard Rick's have to retrieve me one too many times, they might limit my portal gun use and I'd rather avoid that."

"I swear, I think there's a curse keeping us apart."

Caressing your cheek with the pad of his thumb, he chuckled. “By now, I ugh - I suppose I've become a bit of a broken record, but I promise I'll make it up to you. Curses and swearing aside that is."

"I know."

You didn't want him to go. Not back to those people who couldn't appreciate him. How he put up with it you didn't know. “Maybe one of these days, you could skip out on work and we'll go somewhere. Maybe we could go to Blips and Chitz, and I'll try that one dance game designed for spider people. Wouldn't that be nice? Then we could go see the Jerry's and I can get asked embarrassing questions all about you. How does that sound?”

Bending down to kiss you, he winced but kissed you nonetheless. “That would be swell, but w-we can't go tonight. I-I should get going. I had wanted to make sure you were safe, but it's nice t-t-to see you up. I hope you didn't mind me barging in this way.”

“I don't mind, but I only wish that I could be awake more often when you're here.”

“I-I know, but it's okay. I usually can't stay for long anyway.”

What a shame it really was. You hid your face in his chest, relishing in the warmth and softness of his sweater while you still could; foolishly hoping that he would change his mind. Who would've known he could be so stubborn. Then again, you couldn't find fault in that. “Maybe if I ask the sandman hard enough to bring me a dream," you admitted in a girlish voice. "then I'll see you again real soon."

"I will see you. Y-you only have to look for me."

"In my dreams?"

"If y-you believe."

You pulled him in for a kiss then, pressing peck after peck knowing that he would disappear. You knew he didn't get enough affection already, and he'd have to make due with what you could give him, but was it really enough? You'd never know. With one arm around you, his other was digging around in his pockets for his portal gun. And just as his fingers lightly brushed it, you stopped him and handed him your favorite stuffed animal. “Huh? F-for me?”

“Mhm. That's Bimbo, he'll be sure to keep you safe. He um…my dad had always told me that this stuffy would keep me safe and I consider him one of the dearest friends in the world, but right now I know I'm not the only one who could use a friend. I'm sure he'd be happy to keep you company for a while."

"But h-he's important to you."

"True, but you're the most important to me. Now, something to remember is that he likes to give plenty of hugs and enjoys tea parties, though he would never readily admit it."

"I-I like those things too."

"See? You two are going to be good friends. There's no doubt that you two will get along."

The arm which had been holding you about your waist held you a fraction tighter, and if you hadn't given him a light push, he might've not been encouraged to go. “You gotta let me go now. I don't want you to get in trouble. Please, just make sure to return to me in one piece. Understand?.”

“Yes, I-I-I do. I will.” he answered, before opening a portal and stepping through.

The warmth he had brought was already growing cold. And checking the time, you were sure that you weren't going to get a wink. So dragging the duvet cover with you, you plopped yourself on the couch and flipped through Interdimensional cable, until you found a movie you've might've watched a dozen times before; snuggling into the pillow that still smelled like him; hoping that he will be fine.

Fin

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