#i think if they existed and had a lil emote it would be flopping down to sit

[sntoot]

mammets

[junicai]

Relationship with Stray Kids

➣ CHAN ☾ dachan

daeun is chan’s baby and the fact that she’s only two years younger than him changes nothing 

really really dependent on his approval. especially on mixing during the first few songs for skz 

skz has a completely different sound to what daeun was used to, and changing her production style to mirror that was a challenge

there are a lot of clips in the first few episodes of the survival show of daeun sidling up to chan with a notebook in her hand

and them sitting beside each other on the sofa while they worked

you can find dozens of ‘Bang Chan doing the Proud Dad smile because Daeun existed’ videos on youtube

its a very common occurrence 

hence why daeun hates hates hates being told off by him 

its never anything serious 

but she always feels so guilty afterwards, and then she’ll cry and then chan feels guilty

and it’s a whole guilt-fest 

so daeun usually tries to avoid having to be told off

now that doesn’t stop her from telling him off

can and will drag him out by the ear if he stays in his studio for too long

that’s a lie

she’ll just stand in the doorway and pout until he saves his work down and leaves 

works every time

sorry but this man loves to pick her up? 

its a problem 

girl isn’t even hurt or tired just piggybacks 

always 

he said he likes to carry her because he knows that she dances in heels for so long so her feet must hurt more than theirs does

YEAH-

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

chan walks at the end of the group, we all know this. but the one time he wasn’t, was when daeun was the second last getting out of the van, and had to dip back in to snag the bag she had left behind. already three strides into the building, 

chan - upon realizing that he had seven heads in  front of him, and not eight - spun around in a circle, eyes wide and shoulders pushed back as he tried to peer over the crowds. when he spotted daeun, he took her bag from her hand, snagging her hand in his other one, and refused to let go of her until they made it safely into the venue.  

➣ MINHO ☾ mieun

actually attached at the hip?

genuinely

like, no one was going to peg the very intimidating and sullen looking-fellow with the bubbly bitch with pink in her hair and yet: 

✨besties✨ 

it’s comical 

minho’s dry humor perfectly balances with daeun’s unique blend of absolute buffoonery

 they have a lil tradition before they go onstage of exchanging bracelets

yes, they have matching bracelets

it was minho’s idea and yes, stays freaked out

it’s like a little, ‘see you on the other side’ thing

because lord knows daeun spent hours upon hours running herself ragged in practices until all hours of the night 

and minho Wasn’t Having It

so the bracelets are a little. U Got This. from him

really doesn’t like it when she cries 

to the point where he’ll do absolutely anything to get her to stop crying

it was then, that daeun discovered that minho gives god tier hugs 

God. Tier. 

minho and daeun cuddling when they’re drunk? more likely than you’d think 

they’re hilarious together, and probably one of stays most preferred ships with daeun and any of the boys 

the twt threadfics here are Legendary

the most popular one is a coffee shop au - where daeun is a struggling literature grad, and minho is a long-suffering night shift worker

absolutely does not tolerate any kind of hate towards daeun - verbal or otherwise. he blew a fuse the first time she trended for sexy pictures someone had taken of her at a fansign 

daeun had to tell him it was fine twelve times before he calmed down

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

daeun pulled down her skirt again for the nth time, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. she had her ankles tucked behind the leg of the chair and her hands folded over her lap to try and prevent anyone getting a glimpse up further into her skirt than was strictly necessary, but was - ultimately - doing a poor job of protecting her modesty. 

leaning over, minho took a glance at daeun shifting uncomfortably in her seat again, and shucked off his jacket - leaving him in a thin t-shirt in the cold breeze. before daeun could protest, he had laid the jacket over her legs, tucking it in and then sliding his hand in between hers and holding it tightly over his own lap. 

➣ CHANGBIN ☾ dabin

same age siblings !

both being in the ‘99 line, and with daeun originally training to be a main rapper than a vocalist

they were pretty comfortable around each other having spent so long training in each other’s presence

in fact

they even performed a duet together for one of the monthly evaluations

that was when they really became friends so to speak 

daeun fell asleep during one of their rehearsals on the floor of the studio

and changbin couldn’t just, leave her

so he ended up staying with her the whole night

was she embarrassed in the morning? yeah. and then changbin told her off for not prioritizing sleep more, and then she was more embarrassed.

now in the group, their dynamic settled into something extremely comfortable

when daeun was first introduced to the boys as a team, changbin was the only one she was completely comfortable rooming with 

his studio? nah, their studio 

did daeun sit in on a lot of the 3RACHA work prior to debut? yes, solely because she wanted the experience, and changbin said she could stay

it is actually his studio, but there’s a small collection (read: four) of soft pillows in the corner of the room for daeun to sit on as they work

according to her, she works better on the floor

changbin can’t find it in him to refute the argument, so he always ends up down there with her, with sheets sprawled over the carpet

when he started working out, he started taking daeun to the gym

swole buddies 

except daeun wasn’t allowed to build muscle and just had to run on the treadmill the whole time and changbin wasn’t made about that. he wasn’t.

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

changbin and daeun being the mafia when playing with skz and neither of them being able to look at each other without laughing. every time they’d make eye contact, daeun’s lips would twitch up, and changbin would have to turn away to cough into his arm lest he give himself away. 

ultimately, they lost - much to the chagrin of the pair, who wailed at their loss and proceeded to drink their sorrows away with the coca cola that they were sponsored for. 

product placement at it’s finest, even if it was a metaphor for alcoholism. 

➣ HYUNJIN ☾ dajin

lil beans

babies

awh

not at the start but now, yes.

he was wary around her, at first because hyunjin knows he’s attractive and the Last Thing He Wants is a groupmate that has a crush on him

so he was a bit, cold and aloof with daeun at the beginning of the survival show

he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression !

but then 

then 

daeun apologized to him in her video message after her elimination for ‘upsetting him, and making him feel like he couldn’t be comfortable around her’ and dear god

hyunjin’s heart = broken. destroyed. shattered into pieces. 

he still feels Very Guilty about this sometimes because he knows that his attitude towards her played a huge part in her feeling alienated and not like she belonged in the group

daeun tells him it doesn’t bother her but he knows

they talked through it though

good communication besties 

A+

he doesn’t call her noona though

he did, once upon a time, but then daeun felt weird because realistically, there’s only four months between them and that’s not enough to make her any more of a noona to him than he is a hyung to jisung and felix? 

they have a little rountine now, when either of them are upset

they pack up all the emotions for a little bit

into a little box

get out a laptop (doesn’t matter whos)

and just cuddle, with some blankets, and a terrible show or movie that they’re not really watching until the person is ok to talk 

arguably the most healthy friendship you will ever find

therapists around the country are giving standing ovations 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

felix padded into hyunjin’s room to shake the boy awake, before catching sight of an already-awake daeun wrapped in his arms.

“noona?”

“help-” she gasped out, patting frantically at hyunjin’s arm that was firmly wrapped around her middle. “he won’t let go. it’s been an hour.” 

felix bit his lip, trying to stifle the laugh that was threatening to burst out. “i don’t know, you look pretty comfortable.” he began backing out the door.

“felix. lee felix. lee felix you come back here!” the harsh whisper-shouts echoed down the hallway after the giggling boy. 

➣ JISUNG ☾ jidae

partners in crime

probably have committed some crime together at some point but there’s no proof so chan can’t yell at them for it

they met when daeun first sat in on the 3RACHA meetings 

did someone say: soulmates 

changbin is convinced that the angel choir played when they first locked eyes

like this

jisung kicked the angel off of daeun’s shoulder and now it’s just him and the devil racking up reverse-brownie points in daeun’s conscience 

he’s been a wonderful influence, truly

to be fair though, daeun did attempt to convince him to stop eating ramen every day (to a varying degree of success)

to no degree of success actually. she just takes him out of the dorm to eat it now, but chan doesn’t need to know that bit

daeun? did you mean: jisung’s pillow?

anywhere, any place - he just flops down onto her

many head pats

they are both givers and receivers 

no words spoken only HEAD PATS 

the comfort is exchanged through osmosis

jisung is wholeheartedly against her ever getting a boyfriend 

Absolutely Not. she is theirs, and he will glare at anyone else who dares to Look At Her

nap buddies 

they get a combined total of negative six hours of sleep per week so they always end up napping together 

it’s very cute

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

less of a ‘moment’ and more of a series of events that STAY found hilarious?

we all know han jisung’s iconic converse. they’re legendary. unofficial skz merch. 

right well, daeun was seen wearing them out and around a few times by fansites, and one of them asked had she bought her own pair after seeing jisung’s at a fansign.

daeun laughed and said no, they were almost the same size in shoe so she just borrowed his. 

daeun stole jisung’s shoes. 

➣ FELIX ☾ daelix

stop they love each other so much 

felix said once in a vlive that he finds daeun really comforting to be around because she’s so calm 

‘calm’ 

he had a lot of anxiety about debuting because of what jyp said to him upon his elimination *angry noises*

so daeun tried her best to alleviate as much of his worries as possible

even if that meant sacrificing her own sleep to sit with him in the kitchen and talk things out

sorry i’d like to revisit the point that They Love Each Other Very Much 

felix says that he was worried about leaving his sisters behind, so having another noona was really comforting to him 

daeun absolutely has an australian accent when she speaks english now and it is completely felix’s fault 

he’d actively correct her pronunciation to make her sound more australian because he thinks the accent is so cute on her  

aggressively cute together 

you will get a toothache if you watch them for too long 

someone stop them they’re so adorable 

he likes to give out random compliments to see how red he can make her face go before she whacks him to get him to stop 

the results conclude: a pretty nice cherry-cheeked colour

felix really lives up to his koala nickname when he’s around daeun

will latch on and will not let go until he has to 

you thought chan loved felix? now see: chan watching daeun and felix 

pain

its so painful he just smiles like everything is right with the world and it IS because felix and daeun are there and aaaaaAAAA-

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

a sad moment, but one that features in every compilation of daelix’s interactions anyway. when daeun’s name was called for her elimination, she closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath and schooling her face into something impassive. the boys were all staring at her with devastated looks on their faces, but nothing was matching the look that felix was giving her from his position right by her side. 

he choked out her name, stumbling forwards into her arms as she caught him and wrapped him in a hug. felix apologized profusely for being the one in need of comfort, while daeun just ran a hand over his hair and told him it was alright, she was alright. 

➣ SEUNGMIN ☾ daseung

protector of daeun’s sanity

she has One (1) well behaved dongsaeng and its kim seungmin

it’s not that he’s less likely to act out than the others, really. it’s that he’s the least likely to die while doing it, so that = most well behaved, in daeun’s books 

daeun likes to squish his cheeks

no reason

other than, soft cheeks go squish and seungmin lets her so why would she forsake this golden opportunity

now if he wants to sit on the couch beside her he has to resign himself to cheek-smooshing 

also cheek kisses, rarely. usually when daeun’s intoxicated.

the boys had figured that both of their personalities together would just merge and create an even more chill environment

calm²

but NO

pemdas

it cancelled out

they’re not Chaotic but they’re certainly not Calm 

it’s a unique vibe that can only be described by this -> link

sorry

scholars but minus the education 

profound visionaries but they’re blind, type beat 

have the combined brainpower of the librarian gary from that one spongebob episode but they choose not to utilize it for the memes 

in all seriousness though, they’re very comfortable around each other 

seungmin struggled a lot with confidence during their debut months, and daeun was the only person who really knew the full extent of it all 

there was a Hefty Amount of nighttime talks on daeun’s bed under blankets stolen from the living room 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

seungmin can sing, we all know that. but stray kids’ style rarely allows for full ballad songs on an album, so seungmin being given the opportunity to perform ‘Love Poem’ on Kingdom was truly a blessing in disguise. (the disguise being daeun’s re-occuring vocal nodules that left her unable to perform). 

after the performance, seungmin had barely taken a foot off the stage before he was being tackled by a teary-eyed daeun, who immediately buried her face into his shoulder to stop the cameras getting a good look at her crying. 

“n-noona?” 

“you can sing.” 

“yeah?”

“you sing so beautifully, minnie, oh my god.” 

➣ JEONGIN ☾ jeondae

the first thing you have to realize about daeun and jeongin’s relationship is that both of them can be the Biggest Babies in the world 

now with that out of the way

jeongin ADORES daeun 

im sorry did someone say ‘noona who wholeheartedly finds it impossible to say no to him’?

i think they did

he doesn’t take advantage of it, persay

but he Does and Will use it to others detriment - especially during games

“jeongin! you told me you weren’t the mafia! i believed you! this is a betrayal!”

she’s so so smitten with him and everything he does 

it is virtually impossible for her to be mad at him 

he just gets a little scowl and then a soft flick on his ear at the PEAK of scolding 

is the world’s worst enabler for All His Bad Ideas 

often complains that he’s growing up too fast and it isn’t fair that he’s taller than her now 

which he’ll then respond to by resting his elbow on her head and leaning on her, so. it never goes down very well 

daeun checks his micpack for him before every stage

every. stage. 

daeun is the only person who is allowed to coddle him as much as she does 

hyunjin is Bitter and daeun is Smug 

jeongin needs help with schoolwork? daeun would do it for him if she had been any good at school either, but alas 

 FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

chan stepped into the kitchen, camera in hand. 

“what are you doing?” 

daeun and jeongin shove his backpack off the table, the coloured permanent markers rolling off immediately after, two black ones uncapped in their hands. 

“NOTHING” 

chan looked pointedly at them, and then to the backpack that had slid underneath the table. there, written all over the straps and the front pocket were small drawings, ranging from dinosours to the words (written in very terrible handwriting, so he couldn’t be sure which one of them wrote it): “skool suks!”

chan looked over to the pair. they scrambled off the chairs, abandoning the evidence in their break for safety. 

[starbuckie]

𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬

pairing: highschool!bucky barnes x reader

words: 1.0k words

warnings: senioritis, fluff, and bucky being a clingy little shit

summary: senioritis is a bitch, and that virus certainly extends to two teens in brooklyn.

a/n: i’m tired of high school and shit and finals are kicking my ass so i wrote this lil thing. (also look at this lil skinny noodle theater boy, i woulda dated the heck out of him) anyways, please enjoy <3

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Y/N’s eyes focused in and out on the pot of pasta her mother was cooking on the stove. There were many other things she should have been doing, pressing matters like the fifteen unfinished assignments she had to turn in by the next Monday, but the combination of a near-summer school day and the stress of not actually doing the assignments was getting to her.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Great.

The bane of her existence came in the form James Buchanan Barnes, God-like dick game and loved by all mothers. His fluffy chestnut hair was swept under a baseball cap, and he carried two bags of groceries, for her mother, into the kitchen where she sat.

It wasn’t as if she were bothered by her boyfriend, but with him around there was no way in hell she would get anything finished. Turning back to the half-assed, half-written page she had been working on for hours, she tried to ignore the presence of Bucky hugging her mother hello.

Once again, an absolute kiss ass.

“Hey, pumpkin,” Bucky dropped a kiss to her forehead as he started to put the groceries away. Fucking suck up. “How come you didn’t answer my text? I asked if I could come over.”

“I did answer your text, asshole.” Y/N turned over her phone to check the texts for evidential proof. “Yeah, see, I texted you no.”

Bucky shoved the phone away from where she held it out to him, placing an orange on the table. “And I chose to ignore that text because I wanted to see you.” He sang with a smile.

That little smirk he wore was enough for Y/N’s tough resolve to break and she stood to pounce up on him from behind with a hug. She nosed his neck gently and smelled his cologne, amber and oud filling her senses and making her mind all boggled with thoughts of him.

“Hey, if you two are gonna be gross, then go upstairs,” Ms. L/N smacked her shoulder with the dirty dish rag and she squealed away from the hit. “But if you two are gonna bang, then go to his because I’m not washing those damn sheets for you do that.”

Both of the teens blushed at her ribbing, and immediately grabbed their stuff to scramble upstairs. As they trudged up the stairs with their backpacks, Bucky noticed the way Y/N’s eyes would flutter shut for a moment and the way her steps faltered. It was no secret that her five AP exams were kicking her ass, and the studying was no better.

The way he saw it, there was no point in struggling onto the slippery grasps of sleep in replacement of studying. Highschool was three weeks from being done, and soon enough they’d be out of Brooklyn and on their way to California to hit the sun and study their asses off in college.

As soon as they entered her ivy-painted room Y/N slammed the stupid essay on her desk and slumped into her swivel chair. Bucky knew the drill well enough by that point, dropping his backpack by the foot of her bed and flopping onto the pristine white sheets with an obnoxiously loud groan. “God, this bed feels so good, pumpkin, I don’t know how you can stay out of it for so long.”

“Well, when you’re falling behind in school it’s a lot easier than you’d think.” Y/N quipped back distractedly. The words on the paper seemed to swirl and move right under her stare, and there was no way she could focus. She knew that eight more pages of blank papers sat right under the first, all waiting to be filled out with sentences about the effects of cardiorespiratory coherence on the spectrum of human emotions. 

Bucky groaned, hauling his legs onto the sheets and turning towards his girlfriend with a pout. “C’mon, babydoll, if you come over here, you can have sex with me. How’s that sound? You wanna have sex with me? I’ll do that thing you like, even make you shed a few tears...”

Though his offer sounded more than appealing, Y/N had to turn it down and shift herself in the chair to ease the throbbing of her core. “As much as I would like to cry on your dick, and trust me, I would very much like to cry on your dick, I unfortunately need to cry on my essay instead. I was getting work done all until you walked in with that cute lil’ smile of yours.”

Bucky blushed at the comment which made her grin. It was amusing how flushed he got after making such raunchy things to her. “Well, what do you want, babydoll. I can bring you a bowl of mac and cheese from your ma, or,” he scooped her up in his arms, reveling in her squeals of laughter, “I can snuggle ya to death. How’s that sound?”

Her voice was muffled against the fabric of his henley, but he could kinda not really understand the words she gurgled out. “I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

Y/N laughed in his hold, turning over to smush her face into his chest. “I’m just tired of this bullshit. All the assignments and late nights, and don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, but if I get one more comment about my study time management, I’m going to scream.” She sighed, clutching just a bit harder around his back. “I want it all to be over, I guess. Just you and me in California already, sitting in the sun and drinking green juices, or whatever shit they do over there.”

Bucky didn’t even have to say anything, Y/N knew he shared the same sentiment. College was fast approaching and scary, and the stress of the impending graduation did nothing but make it seem that much farther away. 

“God, you’re so warm, I wanna lay with you here forever. Studying can go fuck itself.”

“Then stay with me, pumpkin,” he chuckled, pulling her closer. “I ain’t going anywhere yet.”

Legend has it that there was no studying done for the rest of the night, and Y/N’s mom would find them passed out in each other’s arms before six o’clock.

[muffindaddystyles]

Hearth.

A/N: I dunno if I've got any desi/brown/poc readers but if you're reading this I love you so much and you (us) deserve the same validation and representation others get.

Here's a blurb as to what it feels like celebrating Eid with Harry! Enjoy!

Warning: none — just loads of fluff.

More Inspos, Masterlist, Let's Talk

The night's pretty with murky clouds and thick layer of moon's brightness as Y/N cleans her flat, from scrubbing her Persian rugs to deep cleansing her vases back from her homeland. The flame evaporating from her candles scented like springs of Kashmir, flickers from her blowing sheer curtains due to the zephyr flurring outside.

She feels content, at peace waiting for Harry who promised that he'll be at her place by 11. He always comes an hour early helping her in setting the table before the iftari, they've been doing it together since the start of ramdan until today when he texted her he's busy along with a sad smiley.

It was fun. He fasted with her once or twice and would make sure she's hydrated enough once they break it, his love for rooh-afzah (it's a drink red in color made from essence of roses and some sweet herbs) will never fail to make her giggle as he'd demand for more after gulping two glasses already.

Then showing her his tummy along with his food pregnant jokes.

Her classes are online so it gave her time to experiment some cooking. They'd make samosas together and she always had an urge to hold back her cooes as his tongue used to poke out in concentration everytime his diligent fingers folded the samosa sheets skillfully.

"Did a pretty go'job here, innit?" He'd grin raising it like a summat trophy.

The moment he used to leave her flat (ofcourse after giving a tight hug before doing so) they both missed eachother terribly, y/n doesn't like the way her home falls into an abyss without his presence.

He's like a sunshine that warms her insides up.

The whistle of kettle and several raps of knocks on her door drags her from her fond memories of them together, she slings her feet down from the coffee table rushing to open it.

"Angel."

Harry says breathlessly prolly because he climbed three flight of stairs to get to her or that he's utterly flustered.

Her eyes remain struck at the thingies piled in his arms, a box of chocolates, many brown bags and stems of freshly blood ripped roses tucked between his knuckles.

He bought all of these gifts for her.

To make her feel like home.

To be her home.

What the fuck, nobody has ever done that for her —-- she just mighty cry.

Her mouths gupples like a fish too overwhelmed to react her emotions out and he gives her a sweet smile kicking the door shut with his feet -- gestures her to wait when she almost jumps like a cub to hug him and puts everything on the sofa knowing the things inside them's too delicate.

"C'mere, baby." He grins and she doesn't waste a moment falling in his embrace. Her cheeks smashes against his taught chest and she fists the hem of his shirt smiling too hard for her own sake as he sways them with his own rosy cheek squished against her temple.

"I love you so much, thank you." She murmurs gazing up at him with glinting eyes -- arms still lopped around his waist and his chin doubles adorably as he gives her his signature bunny grin kissing the tip of her nose, "Love you too bubba ... don't want ya homesick, at alllll."

The aggressive whistle of kettle parts them away, "Cuppa cha? Then we'll unwrap these pleasanteris." She points at the paper bags.

He nods flopping onto the floor cushions beside the large oak window of the balcony where they could bathe in moonlight.

"Thank you." He quips, kissing her fingertips while slipping his fingers under the handle of mug and takes it from her as she sits infront of him. He admires her for a second —- fawning over how she's looking so soft and cuddle-able wearing a baggy mauve kurta and some mismatched shalwar.

The tearing open of the stuffing tissue brings him back to focus --- this, he wanted to see this happiness dance over her features as she clutches the ethnic traditional dress he bought for her infront of her and when lifts it down he's met by overly excited eyes.

It's ethereal with golden details, handmade wire work and sheer fabric.

"It's gorgeous, pups." She squeezes his hand and he takes the sip of his cha smiling against the rim of the mug shyly, "Wasn't s' sure -- Sarah helped me in collecting stuff." Sarah's Y/N's bestfriend who was the only desi/brown in her filming class.

"No wonder she was being a lil sneak." Y/N chuckles already rummaging for what comes next.

He wanted to make sure he gets her everything they do traditionally in her culture and ate Sara's ears off to help him buy the most special thing and it's right there creating sweet noise when they touch eachother, dangling from her fingers.

"Churiyan .... " She whispers bitting down a smile. She loves glass bangles. Their colourfulness cheers her mood up and she'd always go with her Nani a night prior eid to select the most flamboyant pair of them from a bazar (market).

"This -— " She gestures to the gifts scattered around them, " —-- all of this and you, means alot to me." She sighs giving him a wet smile and he smoothes his thumb against her cheek like she's the most fragile thing to exist.

He watches her in a tad confusion when she stands up with a giggly squeal putting everything away and comes back with a tube of henna in her hand.

"It's chand raat t'night 'cos tommorrow is eid -- usually I spend it with Sarah and we apply henna to eachother, we're horrible at it honestly but now she isn't here 'm gonna bite yours ears —-" He cuts her off. Ushering her to sit back on her spot. He couldn't be more glad to spend all of his time with her whether it's just watching her make designs on her hand with henna.

"Your cha's waftin'." He shakes his head bringing it to her lips, "It's hot." She tells him drawing a circle on her palm and filling it with beautiful darkness of henna.

"Okie then ... " He blows at the hot beverage to cool it down and again brings it to her lips, "Now." He croons softly to her. She holds his wrist taking a sip from it -- he tucks the strand of her hair back and she smiles up at him making him chuckle when she takes a huge sigh as if her soul just woke up.

"What do we d'tommorrow?" He asks. Knowing most of the time they went to Zayn's house on Eids his mother used to fill the whole table with delicious dishes and the whole day was spent having fun.

"We do nothing but have loads of nice time -- I already made a dessert 'cos I know I'll be too lazy in the mornin', and invited your friends if that's okay?" She glances up at him done with her left palm.

"Perfect then," He nods, "D'ya need help with the other one?" He asks grabbing her right hand and the tube of henna from her.

"Yes, please." She shows him her hand covered with with henna and since it's wet she could do one thing wait or let him do it. The second options sounds more good.

"Not on me if it gets messed up." He warns her nonchalantly following the same pattern of her left hand. Stealing glances of her attractive face every now and then, dotting her moles with his intense gaze, he just thinks her brown eyes look more intricate – it's specks as if the forests soil on the first rains when they dilate with her racing heartbeat.

They're like an open book to him and at the same time mysteriously dark that he feels like burning a match to melt in them.

"You did it way better than me," She snorts examining it closely and turns the other way round to lay down on the carpeted floor and rest her head in his lap. He wipes his own hands watching the dark henna leaving a swipe of color on his fingertips.

He pets her hair, dimples milking into his cheeks when she raises her both hands infront of him -- blocking the moonlight that's falling on her, "When I was small I always used to end up getting it on my face and lemme tell ya. Having a yellow blotch isn't even a tiny bit fascinating on the only day you could dress up fancy."

His chest rumbles with giggles and he brings her hands closer to her lips blowing raspberries at them to get them dry early.

Comfortable silence envelopes them in to the point where they could hear crickets singing outside and moonlight sparkling on their skin —- she breaks it cuddling up into his chest.

"I really appreciate this, Harry." Her voice hushed whisper and her cherry stained lips couldn't resist but to patch kisses where his heart lays and she could sense it kicking a pace, "The fact that you did so much just for me -- is beyond my thought. I really feel like home." He let her speak. Squeezing her shoulders to convey the fierceness of his emotions he holds for her. His silken lips pressed to her temple and his eyelids flutters with each spurt of breath she inhales.

"I'll keep making you feel like home, till the day you'll allow me." Today. He for actually felt that his home was never a building or the luxurious furniture adorned inside it, but her. It's always gonna be her.

Because the moment he gets lost in those eyes all he come across is their shared laughter, their moments spent on this balcony right outside sipping onto their chas and watching the city wake up infront of their eyes, going to places he has never been to before, doing things he never thought he'd do in hundered years —- he isn't a big fan of spices but he still pretends like a big boi infront of her while eating pani puri she's oh so obsessed with.

The times she was never embarrassed to introduce him to her community or her friends, and getting soaked into rains even though they could've just used his car, having days planned to make him try new desi dishes, going to buy candles of many scent and shapes with him but then never feeling like leaving the store until he warns her that he'll throw her on his shoulder infront of everyone.

Going to Turkish markets together. He's a bread lover and so all this time he doesn't feel like leaving the shops filled with different kiln and tandoori breads. Eating Simit and drinking black tea in the amardu cups sitting outside the cafe –- he likes it with cheese while she might sound bland she just likes a bit of butter.

Them deciding for hours and hours which Persian rug to buy -- but never buying it apologising to the shop keeper.

Giving eachother head massages from the organic rosemary Morrocon oil that one of her friend gifted her, (Y/N) thinks she's one hell of a masseuse but Harry thinks otherwise —- though he would never ever break her heart so it's better keeping it a secret.

His nose creates a purring sound while he sleeps leaning against the wall, he doesn't even remember when he fell into the deep slumber with his large hand still wrapped around her wrist in a protective manner to keep her from moving.

It's cute.

Though when she stirs to regain consciousness with the birds chirping outside she feels remorseful finding him sleeping in such an uncomfy position just because of her and he wakes up with a loud wheeze —- blinking rapidly to see what just happened only to visibly relax back when she shushes him gently.

"Baby .... shit." He grogs out, knuckling at his eyes pointing at her jaw which's covered into a orangish streak, "Don't tell me." She groans bumping her head against his bicep.

A moment later they burst into fits of hoarse giggles and chuckles. She'd try to suck in air to not to snort and would do it nonetheless driving them more into belly aching laughter.

"Eid Mubarak, I guess?" He cackles loudly. Dimple coveting in to his velvet of skin. Rubs the tip of his nose against her's affectionately and swoons her in his arms to hug her warmly.

"Now -— go 'n dress up, c'mon." He cups the nape of her neck playing with the baby hair there and she whines smushing her face against his chest, "No. Lemme sleep some more."

"Heyyy none of that, c'mon sleepy girl you'll regret it later." He boops her nose smiling down at her fondly and she grumbles mumbling something in between you're so annoying or you're being so much like my mum.

He waits for her laying on the sofa with his arms folded and eyes closed. Prolly took a mini version of nap only to perk his head up grabbing the back of sofa when she returns with wet hair, soft clean face and lips tinted cherry wearing the dress and bangles he bought for her.

An enchantress from head to toe, he wouldn't even complain if she bewitches him.

He needs someone to pinch his bum because he thinks his eyelids might have struck. He takes a dramatic breather mischievously, pupils dilated cutesly and heart shaped lips parted with the sweet loving words in praise of her beauty burning at the tip of his tongue.

His fawning gives her butterflies. Expanding her chest with warmth and she does a three-sixty when he spindles his nimble in the air demanding her to show herself from every angle.

Her head falls back. An echo of happy giggles resonating in the room when he smacks his hand against his chest and flops into heaps of sofa cushions.

"You're fuckin' beautiful, a total knockout." He walks towards her with his hands spread open and takes her's to kiss the inside of her palms, "So are you." Her voice small with shyness. He sits on her on sofa and stays beside her with his chin perched upon his knuckles staring at her like she hung the moon -- as if she's a prayer come true.

"Did you get me ready to d'nothing?" She turns towards him. The curled up fringes kissing the apples of her cheeks same as his fingertips are dying to do so.

"I might sound selfish but it was a trap to get you ready early so I could admire you till everyone squeeze between us ... " He smirks and she huffs sinking deeper into the sofa throwing her limbs in air and his breath hitches when her bangles clanks together producing a beautiful noise.

"Harry!!" She whines.

"Okie, time to fill some grumpy kitten's tummy." He announces standing up to head to kitchen and she shakes her head with a silly smile trailing behind him.

All she knows is that. This Eid she'll have the best time of her life, as she could already feel his energy and love radiating in every corner of her home.

.

@harryforvogue idk why but everytime I'd sit to write this blurb you'd pop in my mind, hope so you're not hiccuping wildly.

[yelenasdog]

bonnie and clyde (billy/4 x fem reader)

genre: angst

summary: there were five people at the funeral of billy jones. why did two, more specifically one, of them leave?

words: 1.3k

warnings: just vv sad my guy. literally no fluff i hate it here </3 mentions of death, billy’s funeral, and crying.

a/n: yo so idk if billy’s last name is jones but i saw someone on here refer to him as billy jones and i think it’s just bc of ben’s last name but anyway LMFAO. i for some reason couldn’t stop thinking abt this and so i wrote it (as one does fkefnkerjn). also y/n was not used so if u wanted to read this as an x another character or x an oc it would work as well. enjoy :)

🌃🌃🌃

There were five people at the funeral of Billy Jones.

This was common knowledge who would listen long enough to hear the vigilante talk about the experience he had only seen from afar, his own heart growing tender during, or at any mention of, the moment.

But Billy always failed to explain the situation with a full grip, to its entire truth. As to why, most anyone could figure out.

He was afraid.

Afraid of getting her hurt, afraid of thinking of her for just a moment too long, afraid of his impulse driving him to get his ass right back up and go say he still loved her.

Four was afraid of a plethora of horrible scenarios that could occur if he let the truth about his funeral slide to anyone except One (which was bad enough that he had to know by default as it was).

And the irony of it all, was how miniscule and ineffective something like who had left his funeral early and as to why, would be to anyone else on the team.

Sure they all had their secrets that would seep into the pool that was their little family, Three’s mother, One’s lover, Two and Three’s infatuation with each other (though, that one wasn’t really a secret).

Not to mention, Four despised painting her in a bad light, allowing others to think for a fraction of a second that she didn’t leave because her already frail heart couldn’t handle to see her beloved’s name etched onto a gray stone in a patchy field of a horrible green, couldn’t handle the idea that their Bonnie and Clyde reminiscent days (minus the killing of 13 people, that is) had come to an end.

There were two people at the funeral of Billy Jones who left early.

The first? An old friend from his hometown.

He was a wealthy businessman now, having abandoned the life of pretty crime and rush of his youth. He showed up to Four’s not-so-celebration of life in an ashen tux with an obsidian tie and shiny oxfords, and barely a minute into the service he had begun checking his shiny Rolex, probably counting down the seconds until he would be considered late to some important meeting for whatever corporate hoax he was a part of to be able to stay afloat. How ironic.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

The sound was like nails on a chalkboard to her, while the action itself felt like somewhat of a betrayal, even though Billy and the businessman hadn’t talked in years. It was a kind enough gesture that he had even come to begin with.

But she didn’t care.

Because before the service had even started, salty droplets were rolling down her reddened cheeks, dampening her hoodie, his hoodie, that she had coiled so tightly around herself and her limbs, almost like a corset.

So when the businessman turned to go after what could maybe have been a measly few minutes, she could barely control her anger.

But she did, for Billy. She sucked it up and stayed put, keeping her eyes trained to his mother who was now speaking, her striking emerald eyes also obviously wet. But in reality, Billy had wanted his former lover to turn around and smack that prick square in the face.

But then 4 took some time and realized that if it were the other way around and she had been dead, he could conjure in his mind how distressed he would be to where he would prefer to focus on wallowing in his sadness for her and her only, not be consumed by anger for some random fellow.

Billy truly wanted to leave One where he stood, wanted to run to where her shaking was escalating from ever so slightly to violently as could be, wrapping her in his strong arms she already missed. The strong arms that she believed should have kept him safe when he was dangling from that damned building with that damned necklace in his mouth.

The image could have been some renaissance painting with how beautiful he looked, even then, on the brink of what the world would know as the death of Billy Jones.

In fact, most of Billy’s and the girl’s adventures could be different renaissance paintings. Alive and free, bursting with vibrant colors and emotions that weren’t able to be captured with words, so rather, they were thrown on a canvas in what was somehow a meticulously put together flurry.

On that rainy day, the weather so fitting to what she had been feeling, she wished for nothing more than to somehow place herself back into those non-existent paintings, to even for a fraction of a second bask in his never ending love like some sort of oasis.

She wanted to run her fingers through his golden curls one last time, kiss his forehead goodnight one last time, to tell him she loved him more than anything in this universe, one last time.

But she didn’t, and she wouldn’t ever get to.

And her one final chance to say what she wanted him to hear, she had missed out on, as that’s when she had left.

It was long after the uptight man in the fitted suit, long after his crying mother had gone from where she was speaking up front, back to the shadows of her baby’s grim event that she should never have had been alive to see.

She had managed to drag herself halfway up to where his casket was sitting just above the ground, trying to not look at the box a second too long.

Rather, she pretended there was a pair of rose colored glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose, helping her pretend that this was all some big misunderstanding, that Billy was just pulling one of his infamous pranks.

He would pop out from behind the tent covering the few who stood with their feet shifting on the damp soil, or perhaps from the headstone of his very own grave. She would gasp or shriek and then smack his arm, lecturing him as he grabbed his chest, doubling over in laughter, the sound like music to her ears.

God, what she would do to hear that sound one more time.

Nevertheless, in the end he would stand up, and wipe her tears from her sweet face, pressing gentle kisses on either of her cheeks to rid her of that pout he hated to admit he loved. She would crack a small smile and he would punch a celebratory fist in the air at the gesture, leaving her to only shake her head at his antics. He would sling an arm around her shoulders, nustling close to her as they would exit the graveyard, never coming back until the inevitable day they both had lived their happiest and fullest lives together.

He would say “You know you love me.” And without a doubt, every time, she would say “Yeah, I do.”

But not this time.

This time, she would let her eyes wander to a tall tree just over the hill, slimming her puffy eyes. She rubbed them and did a double take, and swore that for a moment she had seen what looked like his figure next to one of someone she had never seen before.

And that’s when she left.

She let out an ugly sob, running as fast as her feet could take her to wherever that wasn’t there, the sound of her shoes against the cold ground muted, but the sound of her uneven breathing was anything but.

As for all she knew, it was her mind playing a cruel, cruel, trick on her. Or even her mind trying to give her some sort of closure to move on.

Whatever it was, though, was simply too much for her to process, too much to handle. So she had left, given up on what she didn’t know was her only chance to give a proper goodbye.

“You think she saw you?”

“I hope so.”

🌃🌃🌃

we vibing w this?? i hope so hehe. WAIT PUN NOT INTENDED LMFAO I DID THAT PERIODT! anyway, have a wonderful day/night, and go drink water and eat protein, it’s all abt intention!! i love u! also if u have any questions abt this fic pls do lmk bc ik some of it was kinda weird! 

p.s., pls pls pls reblog this! this is my first ben related fic and ik when it’s ur first fic for a fandom they can flop so it would be very cool if y’all could help me out a lil bit :) either way ily, thank u! kk bye

xx hj

[bepp-ers]

Headcanons #3 [Quirk- Panda! Edition]

so, this was requested by a v cute anon and oml i just-- i wanna draw this panda girl :)) also it was specifically requested fem so that is what i shall be doing. so, quirk- panda, what is it? 

You have big fuzzy panda ears which give you remarkable hearing, and you’re an exceptional climber. You can climb any surface, no matter how steep, and overall you’re just a cutie. And in the last one you have a few black circles going under your eyes. No homo tho. ;)

Bakugo:

Well, Bakugo doesn’t associate with ‘cute’

I mean, it’s just not very intimidating or something a guy like him would look at and go

“i need that”

But oh boy when he met you that changed

Look, you have panda ears

He had a sudden urge to just

cuddle

the

panda

Do Not Ask WhyTM

He doesn’t know himself

But he’ll be damned if he’s giving into those urges

Until, of course...

It was lunchtime, you were sat at a table (next to Bakugo of course) and eating your food. There were a few others at the table, but Bakugo was mostly focused on you.

Once again he was wondering what they felt like- your ears, that is. Were they soft? Were they fluffy? Or were they smooth? Did they feel like velvet? Or silk? He had to know. But he just couldn’t bring himself to ask.

That was until Kirishima asked you about it. It was a throwaway comment, something like- “Hey, [Name], what’s it like having different ears?”

And boom. Suddenly everyone wanted to touch them. You didn’t mind much, it was mostly the girls who just wanted to know what they felt like. Mina often compared them to her horns, so it was fine.

That was until a certain ash-blond reached over and gently tweaked one of them. You went slightly pink and smiled. “Wow, Katsuki, didn’t take you to be that kinda guy.” 

At that he realised what he was doing, and hastily yanked his hand away. “I- Shut it, Fuzzy! That’s- you-!” He spluttered, much to your amusement. 

You simply reached over and placed his hand back on your ears. “You’re way too obvious, all ya had to do was ask.” He grumbled quietly, but never actually said he didn’t want to, so... ;)

Mina:

Oh lord

You’ll never get away from her hands

That’s not a bad thing either

She’s just smitten with the idea of her crush having these cute round ears

Also

Horns, ears, same thing!

She loves the similarities between the two of you

And she’s not afraid to show it, either

Like everyday after school, you were hanging around Mina’s house. Her mum always bought ready-made bamboo shoots for you (yes, they’re a real thing) so that was a bonus.

The only sound that could be heard was crunching, as well as the occasional sound from the game Mina was playing. Your head was resting on her shoulder as you watched the little character run around whacking Boon with their bug net.

You flushed a crimson feeling her hand run through your hair and then over the back of your ears. It wasn’t the first time, but it sometimes caught you off guard.

“Whassamatter, hon?” She giggled, making you grin. “You need to warn me when you do that, y’know?” “Yep, just teasing. You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Tsuyu:

Not exactly the kind of person you’d expect to gain a crush, but here she is

This lil froggy is just so happy that she found another person with an animal quirk to be honest

You’re no exception, you want to know just how similar you two are

She genuinely cares for you and wants to take her time, too

After all, loosing you isn’t an option

Her favourite thing to do is hold your hand, because then she see you and keep you close

It can be hard to know what she’s thinking

But you’re one of the few people who can figure it out

Rain. You didn’t really like it. Pandas aren’t exactly known for their love of water, so it made sense. However your cute froggy friend did.

“[Name], I thought you’d gone home kero.” Speaking of which, she’d just spotted you standing at the edge of Heights Alliance, waiting and watching.

“Hey, I’m just waiting for this god damned rain to end. I didn’t bring an umbrella, see.” She nodded thoughtfully, and then produced something from her bag.

A dark green umbrella. Oh. 

“Here, want to share mine, kero?” “Aw, Tsu, you’re too kind.” You grinned, stepping closer. The height difference was something you loved to joke about, and Tsuyu secretly liked the fact that you were taller.

She held the umbrella in her left hand, and took yours in her right. You gave a small squeeze of reassurance. “What would I do without you, hm?”

Denki:

Crushes were normal for Denki

He’d liked practically every girl (and maybe even guy) he’d seen

He at least flirted with them

But with you it was different

It was like he used up all of his electricity and was in constant idiot mode around you

He can’t help it!

Poor bean, he just wants to impress you

But he usually just ends up dropping whatever he’s holding or tripping over his shoelaces

You found it pretty cute, not gonna lie

To you, he was like a ray of sunshine

Always smiling and goofing off

And that clumsiness? 

*smack sound*

N i c e

He just wants to spend all his time with you, not even in a romantic way sometimes

He loves your energy and personality more than anything

So!! Cute!! And!! Nice!!

“Hey, [Name], watch this!” You leant across the back of your chair, watching the blonde balance a pen on his nose. 

“You look like an idiot.” His eyes widened slightly and he tipped his head a little too far back, resulting in him being jabbed in the eye. His face erupted in red as he blinked the ache away.

“Aha, oops?” You simply shook your head, with a small eye-roll. “Yep, definitely an idiot.” You stated, getting up and sitting besides him.

“Your my idiot though.” You giggled, giving a chaste kiss to his cheek, causing his blush to worsen (in a good way.)

“Wheyy...”

Jiro:

A crush you say?

Nope

Nuh-uh

“i’vE ALREADY SAID IT’S NOT A CRUSH I JUST ADMIRE HER JACKASS!”

Jiro isn’t usually so worked up about things, but...

Bby just wants to deny her feelings

There’s no way you’d like her back

You’re so pretty and funny

And smart, kind, friendly, open, comforting...

Jiro could go on for hours about how great you were

In a completely non-romantic way of course!!

“Face the facts girl. You’ve got it baaad.”

With a sigh she might just have to accept her own feelings

“Does she like me back, though?”

“Who?” Jiro flinched in her seat, and Kirishima snickered. “Oh, looks like I’ve gotta shoot off. See you Jiro, take care of her for me [Name]!” Oh Kiri, you evil wing-man.

“So what were you two talking about?” You inquired, despite the fact that you already knew. Eavesdropping is easy with two big fluffy ears. 

“Er- nothing too important, just stuff.” She said nonchalantly. You almost believed her, were it not for the fact that you literally heard her confess for you mere moments ago.

“Alrighty then. Hey, you wanna know something?” You beckoned for her to lean closer, and when she did, you whispered in her ear.

“The best part of having a panda quirk is that I can hear things even when I’m not there. That being said, you free on Saturday?”

You’d never seen her show so much emotion, yet here Jiro was, cheeks dusted pink and a small smile on her lips.

Todoroki:

This lad is starved of love

All kinds

So naturally he has no idea what to do when he realises he might be falling for you

His father would definitely not approve, but if anything that made it all the more better

You were a good listener

With ears like those, it was kind of a given to be frank

And there was another thing, too

You also had markings on your face

Maybe the way you got them was different, but they were there

Little black circles under your eyes, decreasing in size as they went inwards

You weren’t a massive fan, usually you covered them with makeup but he loved them

And you weren’t going to lie, having someone like him around was nice

Perhaps a teeny bit of chemistry??

Just a smidge :)

You didn’t think he could be so sweet also, but you couldn’t be more wrong

Knock!

It was one of those days. Listening to music, and applying the perfect amount of concealer to hide those markings. It wasn’t that you hated the way you looked all the time, it was just... them. 

They didn’t suit you, in your opinion, and you felt rather self conscious of them. You cursed, seeing that there was no concealer left. All you’d done was swatch it on your arm!

“Fuck...” You mumbled to yourself, flopping backwards on the bed. Ah well, you’d ask to borrow some from Momo tomorrow maybe. At least here in your dorm no-one could see you and your face right now.

Knock!

‘Well smack me sideways, whyyy?’ You groaned, but got up and padded to the door anyway. 

What a pleasant surprise. “Eyo, Shouto, what’s up pal?” You let him into your room, flopping down on your bed and patting the space next to you so he could sit.

Befriending the icy guy was difficult but rewarding, as he was a true friend. Maybe even more, with that look...

“I’m bored. I wanted to see you.” Alright, forward much? You grinned, batting your seal plush out of the way and leaning a little on your pillow(s). “That’s great, but you caught me at a horrible time.”

“Oh really?” “Mm, ran out of concealer.” He gave you a quizzical look. “Which product is that?” You stifled a laugh. “The one I use to cover these,”

You pointed to your markings, and he sighed. “Do you have to? They’re part of you, are you really going to pretend they don’t exist forever?” 

“Yep, my hero suit is designed like that for a reason. But you know all that.” He hummed. “Yeah, I do. But it doesn’t stop me from questioning your choices. I think you should leave them.”

Ah, that was Todoroki. Blunt as a butter knife. You rolled your eyes, covering your markings with your hands unconsciously. “They’re ugly and I hate them. I was reading into surgery you can get, like tattoo removal for people who dislike the way their quirks make them look. I might get--”

You couldn’t finish you sentence as he had shushed you with one hand. 

“[Name] for goodness sake, they look amazing. Do not get surgery, they are part of you and every last inch of you is perfect to me. Please quit covering them up, I love them- and you.”

☆

so, what did you think? i’m kinda tired today so some of them might be kinda ooc, but hey thats what headcanons are for. hope you enjoyed anon, i’m pleased with these.

also i finally settled on a headcanons format. i’ve been experimenting with the last few and i think this is gucci

also also sorry i didn’t do oneshots this week, i’m kinda abandoning my schedule cos school and my wattpad account. can’t manage all three lmao. welp bye no homo love ya

☆

[industria-adastra]

With misinformed eagerness

A/N: I present, Demon Clary AU, but raised with Jocelyn. I think the sibling angel/demon blood reversal AU idea is interesting with the Morgenstern sibs but most of the time the fics I see with this idea just kind of. Flop. So I have to feed myself. (This AU is totally an excuse for found family-)

Summary: All heroes have to get their drive to help from somewhere

-----

The first time Clary saw it was when she was playing in the park. Mom– Mother was as listless as usual, only seeming to sink further into an abyss of negativity whenever she watched other parents play and interact with their squealing, giggling and innocent children. Bright-faced and bright-eyed, weren’t they truly a delight to be around? Clary stared at her for a moment, before her gaze went back to the neat sandcastle in front of her.

One, two, blink, blink.

Clary demolished the sandcastle without a second thought.

Would Mother pay more attention to her if she acted more like them? Or was it...ok to just be the same as always? (Hah. As if. It was obvious to anyone that Mother clearly didn’t like Clary for the way she was right now. Really, in Mother’s eyes she was probably nothing more than extra baggage she was obligated to take care of due to being the reason for her existence.)  Dirty little hands dug into the sandpit and scooped up dirty sand-curling into fists. Then, they unfurled back  in a flash, releasing the dirty sand, pouring it back to its original “home”. Void black eyes stared at open palms, focused yet glazed over-as if the owner of those eyes had magically become a porcelain doll.

Slowly, slowly, Clary put her hands down-still with the same glazed over look in her eyes-on the sand, and pushed herself up onto her two feet. Without a single glance to her mother, Clary walked out of the sandpit towards the (mostly) clear water of a fountain. She looked down expressionlessly at a rippling, watery reflection of herself. Then-propping her hands lightly against the edge of the fountain-she leaned in a little nearer to the water.

And smiled.

A dull, colourless thing it was. The edges of her eyes neither crinkling up nor thinning to make a playful closed eyed smile. Her aura of random, unexplainable happiness was like decaying plastic. To put it simply, Clary’s attempt at her own  “innocent, childish” smile had as much appeal as a dead horse. Any bystander could attest to that, even Clary could see and understand that. 

It was no use beating a dead horse.

It took less than a few seconds for her farce of a smile to dissipate back into her usual straight lined mouth. Rising back up from looking at the fountain water, Clary swiftly turned and walked to the direction of the swings. However, on the way there, a small scene caught her attention-nothing too out of the ordinary, it was merely an older child standing up for what could presumably be his younger sister against a group of even older children. She stopped walking, but made no move to help the other child out. It was fine to just watch and observe.

“Why’re you hurting my lil’ Sis anyways! She already said sorry to all you big meanies! Didn’t your mommy tell you hurting other people is wrong?” the boy screamed fearlessly at the small group of young teens, hands bunched into tight fists and his body standing protectively in front of his sobbing little sister.

A red shirted girl started to retort back, “Well—” she was suddenly interrupted by a furious looking woman dashing towards them. Judging from the brightening face of the young boy, she was probably his mother.

“Ezekiel! Calliope!” the woman yelled worriedly; the appearance of an adult caused the teens once circling the two children to scram and run away as fast as they could. Big as they were, picking a fight with an adult would be the height of stupidity.

“Mom!” the newly dubbed Ezekiel beamed at his mother. His emotions were a complete one-eighty from the previous anger-even little Calliope behind him had given her mother a thin watery smile. The two children both hurried over to hug their mother’s legs. “Mom! Mom! Those big kids just now,” he pointed in the direction of where said kids had run off, “were really mean and rude to me and Lili-they even hit Lili!”

“What?!” the woman,  obviously shocked at the news, immediately bent down to anxiously check her daughter. Once she spotted the bruises, her face darkened with anger, and she pulled both her  children into a tight hug. Whispering words of comfort and apologies that Clary barely heard into her children’s ear, the woman gently stroked their fine brown hair. 

Clary thought it was a rather extreme reaction for mere bruises, but perhaps… She turned and looked back at where she knew her Mother was, pondered, then stared down at smooth freckled skin. Unblemished and unbroken with injuries, any assortment of vivid colours-whether they be red, green, purple or yellow-would be a stark contrast on her skin. The key point being easily noticeable. Her thoughts rushed around in her head, creating scenarios and discarding ideas as quickly as they came.

No, it wouldn’t work. Maybe Luke would worry and fret a little, and that faint sometimes there voice would screech and fuss at her. But she sure as hell wouldn’t actually care. Why did she want her to care so much? It would’ve been better for Clary if she’d never expected anything from her at all. 

Static filled her mind, making her blank out as she tightly gripped onto her arm and wondered why was it so–

Loud voices yanked her out of her thoughts.

“...got hurt, I didn’t stop them before they hurt Lili! I’m sorry Mommy…”  Ezekiel looked forlorn, clearly unhappy about how his inability to win against a group of clearly stronger teens. 

What an idiot. Didn’t he know he did the best he could in such a situation?

“That’s…” the woman’s voice trailed off, hesitant about exactly how to respond. ”I’m proud of you for defending your little sister Ezekiel. What happened to Lili wasn’t your fault. Did you cause them to come over and choose to act like bullies to you two?” By then their mother was looking determinedly, but gently at her son.

“No..”

“Then don’t blame yourself for it. You did the right thing in that situation. Instead, be proud of yourself for being so brave and standing up to them. Alright?” With that, she stood up, holding Calliope in one arm and holding Ijekiel’s hand with her free hand. “Let’s go home now. What do you two want for dinner?”

In the shadows Clary watched them go, unseen by any mortal soul.

How strange. Was this the kind of behaviour parents wanted from their children? Would she prefer her to be that way?

Well, she’d never know if she didn’t try.

So as Clary walked back to her mother, she tried to practice along the way. Helping out others, being as kind as she could. Did you need this? That? What’s wrong? Are you ok? Before she reached the end, she would make sure she remembered well what was “good” and “right”.

And the pretty smile Mother gave her (no matter how fake and plasticine it was, no matter the stretched, trembling corners of her mouth, how doll-like it was compared to the sun that shone with Luke), was worth all the blood, sweat and tears she put into perfecting this persona.

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

Ember/Shroud

Okay. I decided to try my hand at an au. Does it even exist yet?

It was mostly born from wanting a more serious reason as to why Blake was scared of dogs. I kind of feel bad.

I’m just going to call it “Emotional Support Soul AU” for now. Is this something people would like to see more of? Is it even a good au? Eh, it was a fun writing exercise at any rate.

Things to note:

Adam (abusive ex) is in jail.

Blake has come a long way but has residual trauma and depression

COMMUNICATION ISSUES

Yang does have a moment of being a lil forgetful and maybe a touch insensitive but she tries to make it better

Blake and Yang were roommates in college who decided to move in together

This is mostly because of Blake’s cat

They don’t know why but being too far apart physically hurts

So oblivious

Adam probably ran a dog fight ring or trained them to attack humans because he’s a goat lookin ass

Faunas are a thing

Set in Vale

Apparently soul pets or bonded animals or whatever are things here

The animal you were always meant to own/your guardian

Even more special if it’s your soulmates pet and it adopts you

Having your soulmates bonded animal approve of you is the highest complement

Both animals getting along and approving of each human in the relationship is rare and usually means they’re soulmates or something

They will often act as wingmen

It’s how Blake and Yang truly bonded as friends

Ember is a stray that Blake rescued as a kitten. When she finds out Yang is her cat’s bonded human, she’s surprised because: blonde party girl. She tried to keep Ember; does not go well.

Yang tried to keep Ember; does not go well

She refused to leave Blake but demanded that her bonded human stay

Even the cat ships them

————————————————————

“…Yang. What is that.”

“It’s a dog, Blake. Ya know, canine? Canis Familaris?”

“I know what a dog is, Xiao Long. I want to know why it’s in our fucking apartment.”

Uh oh. This was bad. Very bad. When Blake was mad she yelled. It was a part of her passionate nature; an injustice is done and Blake will have your head. But it was when she got quiet and spoke in that dangerously low tone of voice that you should probably start backing up. And never mention that’s she’s actually really pretty when she’s mad. Additionally, she was swearing and Blake only really swore when she was really pissed off. And apparently bringing home a Newfoundland equaled really pissed off the cat faunus.

“She needed a home. The poor baby was all alone, isn’t that right, Shroud?” Yang cooed adoringly at the friendly giant laying in front of their sofa.

“That is not a baby. That is a monster that I am sure will probably kill my cat.” Shroud whined and laid her head down, the dog almost seemed hurt. What am I supposed to do about Ember, Yang?!” Almost as on cue, a slender ginger tabby slunk her way into the living room. The cat immediately trotted over to Yang, headbutting her ankles fondly, completely ignoring her actual owner altogether. Before Yang could bend down to let the cat sniff her hands, Ember locked onto Shroud. She slowly walked over sniffed the giant nose that was presented to her. What truly surprised the two girls, however, was when Ember butted her head under the giant dog’s jaw before curling up against the dogs stomach and glancing at them as if to say “this is my bed now”.

“Ember, you traiter. I saved you from the streets when you were a kitten. I raised you and loved you like my own and this is how you repay me?!” Yang wished that she could say that Blake was joking but the cat faunus could be quite… extra when she wanted to be. To say the least; she was not pleased.

Yang walked over and scooped Ember up, not without complaint, and held her out to Blake.

“Aw, c’mon mum. Can we keep her? I’ve only just met her and I love her!” She pitched her voice, wiggling Ember around as though the cat were talking. This resulted in a bitten hand and a very disgruntled cat.

“You earned that. I pay half the rent, Yang. Couldn’t you have spoken to me about this first? You know how I feel about dogs.”

“Yeah, well, that’s kind of why I didn’t.”

“So you decided to ignore how I felt and go behind my back?” Yang winced. When you put it like that…

“Look, I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you but my old high school buddy needed her gone ASAP. I couldn’t just leave her.” Yang made sure to look her friend in the eyes. She’d learned a long time ago that eye contact was important to the other woman and Yang always tried to make sure that she knew that she had Yang’s attention.

Blake didn’t say anything for a long while.

“Fine. Whatever.” She muttered, faunus ears pinned against her head, before turning on her heel and heading to her room. Yang cringed as she heard Blake’s door slam. Their uni days had taught her when to push and pull and when to back off. This was very much a back off situation. Even if she found it hard to understand why somebody would be so deadset against a dog.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Hours later, she was laying on the floor cuddling with both cat and dog when she heard Blake walk into the kitchen. She immediately headed over and stopped short. She knew Blake. She knew what she looked like when she was ecstatic, what she looked look when she was about to kick somebody’s ass.

Yang also knew what it looked like when one of her friend’s depressive episodes were kicking in. So the sight of a drained, red eyed and shuffling Blake was not new to her. It always broke her heart to see one of the most amazing, incredible people she’s ever met hurt like this. But to know that she was the potential cause…

“Blake?” Yang had never sounded, or felt, so small. Blake breathed deeply for a moment before turning to Yang.

“He used to keep dogs. Trained them to bite and attack. I don’t exactly have pleasant memories of them.” When Blake spoke, carefully holding her hip as it ached, it hit her hard. Of course, that was in the police report when they finally managed to get Blake’s ex away from her for good. Why the hell didn’t she put two and two together?!

“Shit, Blake. I am so sorry. I don’t know why I didn’t- it doesn’t matter. I obviously hurt you and I am so, so sorry.” Yang was close to tears herself at this point. She had seen how that man had broken her friend. Watched as Blake pulled herself from the shadows and stood tall and continued to repeat that process every single time he knocked her down. Now that she was finally free of him, she could be who she was meant to be. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t still haunt her. It hurt to see the pain in the other girl’s eyes but she kept eye contact. “I’ll find her a new home as soon as possible, I swear.”

Maybe that would have been it. Maybe she would have rehomed Shroud and they would have been done with it. But the canine in question suddenly walked into the kitchen and made her way to Blake.

“Just stay still, Blake. It’s okay, I won’t let her hurt you. I promise.” Blake was frozen but before Yang could grab her, Shroud sat at Blake’s feet and stared up at her. Yang paused. It was eerily similar to how Ember had decided that Yang was her bonded person. Blake’s breathing started to even out as she gazed at Shroud, who then proceeded to flip over onto her back and wiggle, tongue and jowls flopping comically.

“Hi?” Blake’s uncertainty would have been adorable had it not been for the situation. As the dog shifted, so too did Blake, her gaze becoming more curious than fearful. There was a patch of white on the dog’s black chest, seeming to form the shape of some kind of flower. “I think the fates are fucking with me.” Blake mumbled. “Because that is a Belladonna plant.”

Yang blinked. Blake met her gaze and before too long, the two women were giggling. Perhaps it was the fact that tensions were running high or perhaps Shroud had somehow known how to break the ice with Blake. Because when Blake spoke next, she left Yang surprised.

“Keep her.” Blake inhales shakily. “But please, for the love of God; train her properly. I can’t live like that again, Yang.” Yang immediately nodded and then, unable to help herself, ran over to hug Blake.

Only to be blocked by a large furry body. Shroud wasn’t growling, merely acting as a barrier. The dog had apparently thought that Yang was going to hurt Blake and was already trying to defend her. Wasn’t there a meme online about that? “I’ve only had Blake for one day but if anything happened to her, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.” Evidently, that was what was going on here. Not that Yang could blame the dog. Bonded animals did tend to be extremely protective of their person, if that’s what this was.

“Uh, Blake? I think that you have a body guard now.”

“Oh.” There was a light sniffle as the emotions of the past few hours crashed over Blake. “I think that that’s fair since you stole my cat.” Yang snorted, side stepping around Shroud carefully before wrapping Blake up in a hug.

“Not my fault she’s my soul pet or whatever the hell they’re called.” Yang defended herself. “I can’t believe that I’m going to need to ask a dog for permission to hug you.” Blake giggled weakly, burying her head into Yang’s neck.

“Just… lets take it slow, yeah? I’m not going to become a dog person over night. Even if she is my bonded animal.” Yang hummed. Well, that confirmed it. Most people could tell once eye contact is made. They felt a sort of unspoken promise; the creature would protect their sworn master, so to speak. The bonded animal would then act as a sort of body guard. It was useful many years ago but now it was more about them being glorified emotional support companions. Sometimes the matchups were odd. Yang had honestly beloved hers would be a golden retriever, not her best friend’s cat. And apparently Blake’s bonded animal was her best friend’s dog, despite the fear that she held for them.

Maybe Blake would never love dogs. But Shroud could at least be one dog that Blake could at least be comfortable with. After all, people were usually gifted the animal that they needed the most.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

It was a late afternoon when Yang realised she had been right. It had taken weeks, even months worth of training and slow progress between the two but eventually, Yang was forced to admit that Shroud was meant to never hers. Just like Ember was never meant to Blake’s.

She had just come home from work and had called out to Blake when she heard distant singing coming from the kitchen. Rounding the corner revealed a very surprising sight. One that made Yang melt.

Shroud had her paws on Blake’s shoulder as the young woman danced them around the kitchen singing along to the radio. Those gym sessions were really starting to pay off for Blake.

“You could be my Queen, I could be your dream. Oh, let me be your bumblebee.” Blake giggled as Shroud barked at her. It was a sign of how far they had come considering that she used to flinch at such. “Yang loves this song. Now that I mention her...I think that you might be a much better dancer than your mother, Shroud. Even if she doesn’t quite realise that staring is rude.”

Yang blinked. She’d been caught.

“Sorry, I’m just stupidly proud of you. So proud, in fact, that I’m going to ignore that jab at my awesome dancing abilities and my pride.” Yang glanced down at Shroud, who had dropped to all fours. “You going to say hi, girl, or are you just going to abandon me for a pretty lady?” Shroud almost seemed to glare at her before looking up at Blake who nodded solemnly in return. Yang let out more than a few grumbles about traitorous mutts and reached out to pet Shroud. Until she noticed an envelope in the dog’s collar. She rolled her eyes; they had taken to using the poor dog as a messenger, after all. Opening the letter revealed a reservation for one of the new high end restaurants in Vale. She looked up at Blake in confusion.

“It’s that new faunus cuisine place I told you about. You’re free Friday at six, yeah?” Blake was smirking and leaning up against the bench.

“Um, yes, why?”

“Because if you won’t make the first move beyond telling me I’m “feisty” and “pretty when I’m mad”, then I will.” Blake narrowed her eyes. “Don’t think that I haven’t noticed, Yang.”

“Oh. Am I that obvious?” Yang swallowed nervously.

“Yes. Also your sister and her “BFF” talked to me and have me informed to, and I quote, ‘take your pining, queer ass out before Weiss kills somebody.” I’m still not sure if Weiss wants me to date you or snipe you.” Yang felt her eye twitch. Those two...

“I mean, I’m more than happy to go on date with you and all, Blake, but I kind of want to kill them, now.”

“Want to pretend like nothing’s happened and mess with them for a couple of weeks?”

“How the hell are you so perfect?” Blake simply laughed and walked out of the kitchen with Shroud in tow.

“And of course the stupid dog follows her.” Feeling a bump against her ankles, Yang looked down. Seeing Ember, Yang quickly bent to hold her up to her face.

“But as long she keeps smiling, she can keep stealing from me. I mean, your mum already has my heart and soul, what else could I possibly lose?” She asked the cat quietly. Ember purred, apparently content with the results of her meddling from way back when. Yang smiled. It always made it a little more special when your bonded animal approved of your partner. If she was being honest with herself, so she was on cloud nine. Well, up until she heard Blake’s voice float down the hall.

“I heard that. Oh, you are so never living that one down, Yang!”

[shattersstar]

Hi!! Would you consider doing a fic where Dick Grayson is helping the reader through an anxiety attack? I know you don't usually write stuff like this but I really love your style of writing so I figured I'd ask anyway. Thank you for your time! 💕

warnings: anxiety attack plus all the stuff that goes with it as the request suggests..a/n: i really like how this turned out and yeah its a lil corny but than again so am I. Feedback is always appreciated and tyy

Dick laid on his stomach, pillow hugged to his frame as he slept off the last few weeks. It seemed like all corners of his life demanded his complete attention. It felt like he was only home for a few seconds, pulling off one uniform and slipping it another, lips just brushing against yours before he doze into the night. And it was hard, that fleeting sense of home and routine you had come to understand, but change was good. It was normal and healthy and you would keep telling yourself that till it stopped scaring you. Till Dick stopped feeling as if he was slipping through your fingers.

Although, that feeling was ever persistent as you laid next to him, staring at the ceiling. Your blankets were bunched around your waist, you were too hot when completely bundled up, and just too cold when you fully discarded them. It was a low teeming annoyance on top of the already racing thoughts. You uselessly kicked at you comforter, a groan pulling from your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. You scrub a hand over your face, a long exhale tapering from your lips as you pushed yourself up. Your bed creaked and sheets rustled as you swung your legs over the side. The wood was cool under your bare feet, sending a shiver up your spine as you glanced to the time. Your shoulders slumped as you rested your elbows on your knees, head in hands.

It was beyond late, that odd twilight zone hour were everything felt like nothing, and nothing felt too real. Yet, you were pushing out of bed, rolling your shoulders as you wondered if it would be another sleepless night. Most of those long stretching nights were on account of Dick, waiting up from him with agitated hands, and chewed lips. But tonight it was your own anxieties that stirred deep in your chest, keeping your mind melded in the land of static.

You flopped on the couch, frowning when nothing on the television piqued your interest. The only partially engaging thing to watch was the latest recount of vigilante adventures that graced the news. But you already got a first hand account of it all, and somehow seeing those you would call family in blurry, nearly cryptoid level photos flash across the screen, only furthered the frustration that boiled underneath your skin. The white noise was gone as soon as it filled your living room. You flicked the dining room light on, your laptop was charging idly. You slid into the wooden chair, scraping against the floor as you cringed inwardly. Dick always seemed to drift out of bed without much provocation.

And normally you’d love those days when he’d find you thinking too much, wrapping you up in his embrace and telling you everything you needed to hear. Yet the thought of Dick trying to mend whatever sorrows clung to your heart only bothered you more. You weren’t even too sure why, what was so frustrating that it festered itself into your day, steadily growing into the non stop thoughts that were getting too loud. You tried to focus on something, opening random files only to close them, flitting through old photos, deleting things you had long forgotten their use for. It kept you occupied for about half an hour, and soon that suffocation that was pushing up your chest was too much.

You pushed out of your seat; a photo of you and Dick smiling, so stupidly carefree, suddenly made it hard to breathe. You ran your hand over your face again, fingers curling into your hair as you stood in your kitchen. You sniffled as tears threatened your eyes, heart hammering against your ribs. You just wanted your mind to quiet down, to let you sleep as fatigue danced far off in your mind, to understand what was gnawing at your heart so heavily. You let out a shuddered breathe, eyes squeezed shut, and hands wringing together. You tried to blink back the tears, inhaling long breathes, that escaped in a frivolously puff of air.

Soon sobs pushed passed your lips, but no tears followed. You wept silently, shoulders shaking as your breaths started to stutter out your throat. You were slumped against a counter, scratching at your arms as you pleaded for something. First you were beyond exhausted and couldn’t sleep, now you cried without tears. A multitude of emotions were washing over your, beckoning you in all dizzying directions and you suddenly wished Dick was awake. You didn’t care about the thoughts that crossed your mind before, you wanted him here, needed him here.

You had slid down the counter, knees pulled to your chest as you stared at the ceiling once more. Although it wasn’t the recently painted over ceiling, the one that took way too long to finish. Most days spent painting were during those excited four a.m. moments. Yet this was was the stained ceiling that made you laugh weakly. You wanted to stay there, to curl up on the tile and cry yourself to sleep, but the man you loved had other plans.

Dick had felt the mattress dip as you slipped away, only barely awake as he told himself you were probably going to the bathroom. He woke up nearly an hour later, alarmed to find your side still vacant. Dick noticed the far off look in your eyes today, the way you smiled smally as he told you he had to run out, the way you barely shifted when he placed a kiss on your forehead; your hand lingering on his. He was pushing out of bed just as you did, feet padding along the floor, and heart wrenching when he found you sitting on the kitchen floor. “Y/n, are you alright?” He asked, kneeling in front of you instantaneous. He pulled your hands from your face, pushing back his own worries. “Hey, hey what’s wrong sweetheart?” You let him sit between your legs, hands coming to cradle your face.  

“I-I don’t know.” You stammered out, breathing getting all that more erratic.

“That’s okay, that’s alright, but you gotta take deep breaths for me.” He soothed, thumbs brushing over your cheek bone.

“I can’t.”

“Of course you can, come on.”  Dick smiled at your in the hazy light, and it was so hard not to get caught up in his eyes, in the true goodness that rested behind him. It was so hard not to get caught up in him. You tried to do as he said, mimicking his breathing. Dick pulled one of your shaky hands to his chest, feeling the warmth radiate and steady beating of his heart. “You’re gonna be alright, just try to focus on something, anything.” You nodded, stray tears rolling from the corner of your eyes. You hiccuped out a few breathes, trying to explain the mess of emotions that were burning through you, but Dick hushed you. “Just try to calm down.” He reiterated, shaking off any far off fragment of sleep. You nodded again, jaw clenching before you tried to steady your breathing. You focused on Dick’s eyes, swirling so deep in the fluorescent light of your kitchen. He looked at you like you held the world in the palm of your hands, like you were so beyond the limits of everything. You were ever expanding supernovas and universes exploding into existence with each smile. His eyes told you that you were so much more than a few run on thoughts that jolted around your skull.  

Dick mumbled words of reassurance, visibly relaxing as you did too. The weight that pushed on your chest started to calm, the persistent thoughts that clouded your mind settled into a dull hum. Dick dropped his hand from your cheek as he moved to sit cross legged in front of you. He kept his hand over yours that was pressed to his chest, only moving it when you shifted away. You rested your head against the cabinet, a long sigh pulling from your lips. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” You said softly, a roundabout apology. “It’s fine.” “But its not, you have so much going on, so much to do, a-and y–”

“Hey, don’t work yourself up again.” Dick chided, grinning at you as he brushed the hair from his face.

“But–”

“No buts. We both know I’ve always got stuff on my plate, but you’re also one of my priorities too.”

“Don’t you need–”

“You? Of course.” You stayed silent at that, a grin quirking at the corner of your lips. “Wanna tell me what this is about, what’s going on?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” Dick spoke softly, grabbing your twitching fingers and pulling you into a hug. You didn’t realize how much you needed to be in his arms until you crashed against his chest, fingers pressing into his shoulders. “I just, I’m scared were changing.” You mumbled into his skin, sinking further into his comfort as Dick’s fingers splayed along the nape of your next. He hummed in response, guilt low in his chest.

Dick couldn’t remember the last time you two just held each other like this, or even had a real conversation that wasn’t about work or trivial plans. It seemed like too many moons ago that you and him were truly in a relationship. You both had fallen into an odd stagnant, and complacantness with each other. Dick didn’t want that, he wanted true, gut wrenching and chest seizing kind of love that he felt each time you looked at him. He knew that the loving calmness was likely to happen, but this, right now, felt like giving up. “I know, but we’ll get through this, you’ll get through this.” “How?” “Because I’m sure as hell not going anywhere.” He spoke just above a whisper, shifting to rest his forehead against yours. 

You peered into his eyes, the conviction of his words rooted deep in there. You knew he meant it, that Dick couldn’t just like; he loved so wholly and so deeply and it left you a little breathless in the best kind of way. And suddenly even the lingering worry vanished, if just for this moment. Because Dick was here, with you, telling you that it was you and him till the sun went supernova. And somehow, that was all you needed.

[cybervoider]

a test post in which i paste a bunch of notes i wrote after watching good omens for the forth time like two weeks ago to see how this works

• you would not believe your eyes, if the antichrist grew up to make Fireflies • my favorite scenes were all the ones with the burning car. idk they just made me laugh for that reason you can't describe • but the "lord heal this bike" is my favorite moment probably just... there are no words • oh and "haster." "-levista." • AND "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

• sunglasses demon sad boy.

• he seems like he enjoys general mischief but when it comes down to like... idk very stereotypical evil thingys™ he's not into it. but still bad boy but just... likeable bad boy who mostly likes to inconvenience people because thats funny. probably would've been generally decent if he wasn't gonna die for it. maybe. • "let's ride off into the stars together like lovers haha jk...unless? actually please im begging you"

• angel food cake is like... sweet but also asshole.

• like idk seems to have a bit of a disconnect (and some sort of "above this" complex but all of those loser angles got that) but like, at least he's not as bad as the rest of the creepy skybox cult. he’d probably be so much better without them. otherwise he's a nice southern pansy. • it made me sad the last time i watched it when i realized that only after he literally gets rejected by the presidential speaker for god does he turn to his best friend like... that gives me so many mixed emotions. ugh :(

• their character interactions were my favorite though even if they tried to tear my heart out but jokes on you i dont have a heart >:) • im mad that they didnt hold hands >:( let them hold hands dammit. it's not gay if you say no homo first.

• toad man and chameleon guy are like "lol we don't trust anyone" but are just... always hanging around eachother. • haster is ridiculous he's definitely lost it it's great. his screams. just. there are no words. crazy man. "what's a computer." • sad that ligur has to become a puddle of goo. how do you think froggy is handling it? besides the whole....screaming his head off. • gabriel and michael remind me of my dad and his mom. idk it's just their whole.. demeanor and look. eugh. • gabriels hilarious though like... complete dumbass asshole and it's great. can't even describe it. • dagon's pretty cute ngl. lispy demon. cute lil scales and metal teeth. good. very good. i approve. gimme. • uriels cute too but like...cold asshole. no cute lisp either. dagon's better. • oh and beez. yucky. cute but yucky. looks and sounds like they're just so done with everything all the time i love it. • i can't spell his name but i hate the "can't have war without war" guy like his mouth is always hanging open and his smile is all weird??? yuck. no thanks.

• i want to see the four horsemen drinking tea at that shop. • also death is the best out of the four of them if only just because he was playing some arcade trivia game in the background in a bikers outfit. it's too perfect • i would say pollution looks cool but i care about the environment too much. like fuck off you little shit how dare you ruin that creek??? you bitch. • war has that stupid smiling face all the time like can she ever stop grinning • im hungry now and im blaming it on toothy guy.

• i swear every rewatch my brain keeps flip flopping on whether emo americans dad knew the plan or not and i dont even know why •  emo kid has probably so many issues from being sung lullabies about ruling the world like... i just had my sister play a song about someone's funeral and look where i ended up •  adams cool enough besides the fact that it must be canon that he ends up making some alternate universe of owl city. british owl city. •  i like how he's got that kind of... im not sure how you describe it but he's got this "neutral" expression alot of the time i felt fit the kid who's gonna end everything. •  pepper is great. 90% sure she grows up to be a lesbian queen. you go girl. •  wednesday is... the fourth day of the week. and a little witch. that is all. •  the rest of the them all get some kind of background but apparently according to the narration brian just... exists. •  also i love how it's says "always supportive of adam" when he's the first to doubt him and also just *picks up some sort of wooden thing to knock him out* •  anathema is cool. i loved all her different dresses. gives me big sister vibes. •  did the same actor do both newt and adultery??? •  okay they get to bang literally right after they meet but you can't have dumbass immortals hold hands??? bruh >:(

anyways i enjoyed it        

[hurt-care]

HP Universe Drabble Challenge Pt.4

And the next set for the snzfic/sickfic drabble challenge.

16. Dinner for Three (Sirius Black) 17. Doctor (Harry Potter) 18. Dust (Ron Weasley) 19. Feather (Hermione Granger) 20. Anticipation (Tonks) 21. Bed (Remus Lupin)

16. Dinner for Three

“Lils?”

James Potter emerged from the front hallway of their cottage, brushing snow out of his hair.

“In the kitchen,” she called. “Dinner's almost ready.”

Hurhh-TSCXHHH!

“Bless you!” Lily said as she moved towards the sound. “James are you --”

She stopped short at the sight of a second figure in the entryway. Sirius Black was standing behind James with his hands steepled over his nose.

“Sorry,” James said, leaning in to kiss his wife on the cheek. “I didn't say. I dragged this miserable sod with me. Will we have enough dinner to feed three?”

“I don't need dinner,” Sirius chimed in. “Just the couch, thanks.”

“And some Pepper-Up, by the sounds of it,” Lily said. “Are you alright?”

“He's been sniffling all day,” James said. “I said he better come here instead of back to that dark little flat of his.”

“Of course. We can make up the spare bed, Sirius,” she offered. “Now, get those cloaks off and come warm up. I made stew and there's plenty.”

Hehh-nghGHXT!

Sirius doubled over, sneezing loudly.

“Oh, Sirius,” Lily said sympathetically. “Come on. We'll find you some Pepper-Up and a hot drink too.”

17. Doctor

On the second night in a row of listening to her husband coughing all night, Ginny Potter laid down the law.

“If you're not going to take a potion, at least agree to see a Healer,” she urged as Harry lay listlessly on the sofa with the wireless playing the day's Quidditch match.

“Hmm?” Harry murmured. “What do you mean? I'm not going to St. Mungo's for a cold.”

Ginny gave him an odd look.

“I didn't say go to St. Mungo's. I said go to a Healer.”

Harry looked confused for a second but was quickly distracted by the brutal cough. He turned his face to his shoulder, chest straining as he hacked. Ginny grabbed his water glass and passed it over.

“Thanks,” he choked, taking a gulp of water. He got the coughs under control and he cleared his throat of the remaining congestion. “I can't just owl for Pomfrey.”

Ginny had the sudden realization that Harry had no idea that Healers existed outside of Hogwarts and the hospital.

“Do you know how Muggles go to see a doctor?” she asked.

“Well, yeah, of course,” Harry replied. “Had to get my shots from one when I was a kid.”

“Well, there are Healers who sort of like doctors,” Ginny explained. “You can go to their house or they can come to you.”

Harry stared at her, brows furrowing. At first she thought he was upset, but his mouth dropped open and he took a small gasping breath before pressing his hands over his nose.

Eh-tsCHHH!

He sneezed forcefully and cleared his throat again.

“How soon do you think we can get to one?” he asked wearily.

18. Dust

“Anything yet?” Hermione shouted up the attic steps.

“Just a second,” Ron's voice replied. “I think they're in this box.”

At the base of the ladder, Hermione tapped her foot as she waited. They were making plans for George and Angelina's upcoming wedding and Ron was looking for his dress robes, which he'd inexplicably shoved in some box at the Burrow after wearing them for both Bill and Fleur's and Harry and Ginny's ceremonies. After he and Hermione had married, the box didn't end up making it over to their house and Mrs. Weasley surmised it must've ended up in the attic.

So Ron was digging through box after box, trying to ignore the family's horrifying old ghoul that lingered in the far corner.

“Ah ha!” he shouted triumphantly. “I knew they were here somewhere.”

He appeared at the top of the ladder holding his robes. They almost appeared grey instead of black thanks to several years in the attic. Ron gave them a shake, releasing a cloud of dust, and held them up.

“I think they'll still fit,” he said. “They don't look so—hehh...”

His breath hitched and his eyes narrowed in a squint.

Hehh—ehh-CXHT!

He snapped forward with the forceful sneeze and immediately bent forward again with a second and third.

Eshh-SCHHT! Nhh'GSCHHHT!

“Bless you!” Hermione said from the bottom of the ladder. “Steady. Don't fall down here.”

“Shaking them was a bad idea,” Ron said with a sniffle. “Too much dust.”

19. Feather

The Office of the Minister of Magic was always abuzz with activity, but sometimes Hermione needed her own space to think. Today, it was more than just that. She'd been feeling off all morning and she needed time alone to recharge. So, with an authoritative demand, she sent away her under-secretaries and advisors before shutting her office door and putting a 'do not disturb' spell on it.

She sank down into her desk chair, relishing the sudden silence. There were about a dozen stacks of parchment in front of her to be reviewed but all she really wanted today was to be home on the sofa with Ron. No such luck. These papers were not going to review themselves.

Picking up the stack, she took up her quill and began to edit the proposed new legislation. Not ten minutes in to her work, she began to feel a troublesome itch in her nose. She wriggled it irritably and sniffled, briefly wondering if her allergies were flaring up. But there was nothing she'd been exposed to that would have caused them. Perhaps her 'off' feeling was the beginnings of a cold. Either way, the tickle in her nose was growing in urgency. She closed her eyes and took another deep sniffle, trying to coax the sneezes out or to make the tickle stop. Neither happened.

Frustrated, she pressed her palm to her nose and wriggled it. The itch rose in urgency and she felt her breath hitch, but then...nothing. She pinched her nose and tried rubbing the nostrils together. Again, her breath caught in her throat but no sneezes came. The itch was peaking to a maddening level, buzzing inside her nose like a trapped insect. She squeezed her quill tightly, caught in the tormented state.

And then in came to her. Of course! Her quill!

She raised the feather end and gave her nose a light brush. The tickle surged in intensity. She stroked the long plume across the sensitive tip of her nose and around her quivering nostrils. Her breath hitched, this time going wild with anticipation.

“C'mon....” she groaned, swirling the tip of the feather into her runny nose.

And then, it happened. She took a gasping breath and pitched forward, catching her nose in a cupped hand.

Eh-tshCHII! Heh-TCHII! Ehhh—hehh-CSCHIII!

The sneezes burst forth, scraping her throat and quelling the plaguing itch. At least for the time being.

20. Anticipation

He'd been desperate to get back to her all week. Despite their rocky start and some angst in the middle, Remus truly did adore his wife Tonks. And now they'd been apart nearly two weeks while Remus was up North recruiting the werewolves and he was very eager to get back home to her. In spite of his own weariness and aches and robes that needed a good wash, he bounded up the stairs to the flat and performed the charms to unlock the door.

“I'm back!” he said, stepping into the foyer and shedding his mud-soaked boots on the mat.

“In the den,” Tonks voice replied quietly.

He shrugged off his robes in favour of the jumper and trousers he had on underneath and practically sprinted into the den.

Dora was sitting on their worn sofa, a cup of tea clutched between her hands and a blanket over her shoulders. From her ears drifted a slow trickle of smoke.

“Oh no,” Remus said, taking in the sight. “Are you sick?”

“Maybe. But get over here,” she said hoarsely, opening her arms. He sat on the sofa and pulled her into a tight hug.

“God, I missed you,” he confessed. “I've been dreaming about this all week. I pictured it a little differently but it doesn't matter.”

She sighed and gave him a tight squeeze.

“If the dreams involved snogging me senseless, then yes, I'd maybe hold off on that,” she said. “I'm sorry.”

“Oh, love, it's okay,” he assured her, leaning back and pulling her to rest comfortably against his chest. He carded his long fingers through her pale pink hair. She turned her head and coughed lightly into his jumper.

“Sorry,” she croaked. “The Pepper-Up is only doing so much. I- errr..hold on...”

She sat up, leaning away from him with an odd expression on her face. Her button nose wrinkled irritably and she snapped forward into her bent arm, sneezing damply.

Hurh-tshCHOO!

With a groan, she sniffled thickly and slumped back into his arms.

“You weren't joking,” he said sympathetically, resuming stroking her hair. “I think waiting a bit for snogging is definitely a good idea.”

21. Bed

Being back at Hogwarts was already incredibly emotional and then there was the fact that one of his former best friends had escaped prison and was on the run. And then there was the son of one of his other best friends who kept showing up at his office door telling him stories of hearing James and Lily's murder when the Dementors got too close. And of course, there was also the transformations and dealing with Snape's daily delivery of Wolfsbane. And teaching all of his classes to a student body that, frankly, was extremely lacking in quality Defence education.

It was all a little overwhelming.

So it wasn't really a surprise when Remus woke up one morning feeling the ache of a fever and the heavy congestion of a cold that had settled its way into his head and chest. He sat up in bed only to immediately flop back down onto the pillows with a heavy sigh. Thank Merlin it was Saturday.

He turned his head and squinted towards the clock on the wall. The hands read half-past eleven and he groaned. Snape would be around soon with his potion and the last thing he wanted was to be caught in his pyjamas. Untangling himself from the sheets, he rose and got dressed, sniffling and snorting as he went about the business of getting ready. Cozied up in a heavy jumper, he tucked some handkerchiefs into his pocket and went down into his office.

Might as well get some work done while he waited. He picked up a stack of papers that needed grading, but the pounding pressure of the congestion in his head made it difficult. He pressed slim fingers to his sinuses, spreading them across the sensitive ridge of his cheeks. Nose dripping, he reached for a handkerchief to clean up his nose and was grateful he'd grabbed it as he felt the sharp prickle of a building sneeze.

Eh-tsGHHHTT! Nh-ghhTSCHHH! Hehh...ehh-GHSHTT!

He sneezed harshly into the handkerchief, throat scraping with each brutal outburst, and quickly launched into a volley of chesty coughs. Clutching at his chest, he tried to settle them, but they seemed to tumble out with a persistent percussive rhythm. He took a wheezy breath and managed to stop, now red in the face and sweaty.

There was a knock on the door. Snape. Great.

“Come in,” he said hoarsely.

Snape swooped in with a goblet, pausing and looking at Remus with a disgusted expression.

“You look like shit.”

“Thank you, Severus,” Remus said wryly.

Snape put the potion down on Remus' desk, dark eyes scanning the stack of papers and the discarded handkerchief.

“Do you think your rooms might be a better place for you in this state?” Snape asked cooly. “Wouldn't want to infect the rest of the school.”

Remus picked up the goblet and inclined his head in thanks as he took a swig and tried not to gag. He drained the cup and set it down with a hard 'clink'.

“I believe you're probably right,” he said wearily. “There's nothing I can take to help?”

“Not unless you wish to become a raging monster in a week,” Snape replied. “Suffer now and you'll just be a quieter monster.”

Remus looked at him and felt the heavy tug of illness and exhaustion outweighing any desire to fight.

“Right,” he said, picking up his handkerchief and shielding a few soft coughs. “Bed it is.”

[flowerslut]

I got @thursdaynight-lights for the @twilight-secret-gift-exchange! So here you go! A lil cute aesthetic moodboard for this not-so-lil Jasper x Alice one shot! I would apologize about being unable to write short things, but that seems like a silly thing to do. I hope you like it!

Set directly after their meeting in that Philadelphia diner.

Maybe it was the thirst. Or maybe it was the unyielding apathy he’d developed over his very existence. There was a chance that it was all simply careless, irresponsible curiosity.

Most likely it was the absurdity of the entire situation.

But no matter what the reason was, Jasper still found himself following the girl, his hand still in her possession as she dragged him after her, one gloved hand gripping an umbrella, the other clinging tightly to his own, scarred one.

It didn’t look right, but Jasper kept that comment to himself as they walked.

Alice. He let his mind repeat the name over and over in his head. He had yet to speak it out loud but he was afraid he might like the way it felt falling from his mouth.

Alice.

He followed her closely for several long minutes. Along roads, down alleyways, across streets. She even stopped to let a group of human children scurry by, waiting almost a full minute after they were out of their sight before she resumed their route.

It was all so odd.

Still unaware of the reason he was even following this girl, he let his eyes take in her appearance again. Tiny, short-cropped black hair, a red dress that was a little too clean, too neat. She’d smiled widely upon sight of him, her big eyes widening, her emotions almost intoxicating as she’d skipped up to him.

And he’d done nothing. He’d stood by and let her speak, apologizing about his apparent tardiness as if he’d been aware of this strange meeting. He hadn’t fled with the realization she was a vampire like he was, or taken a defensive stance, or even tried to prevent her from speaking.

He’d just stood by and watched. Maybe that was his first mistake, because the second his eyes fell on her, he’d been entranced.

She’d tried to usher him underneath the umbrella with her but he shook his head, outright refusing to accept such a bizarre offer. It was rain. The idea of needing to be protected to any extent from the rain was ridiculous. Sure, he understood that humans needed that protection. Humans were fragile, sensitive things.

But this girl wasn’t human. He wasn’t entirely sure what she was. A vampire, most likely, but as the minutes ticked by he was growing less and less sure of that fact. He’d been certain until he’d seen her eyes. Bright golden. Unlike anything he’d ever seen before.

He wondered if it were part of an ability, or maybe a side effect of something unknown to him. He even entertained the idea that she was some type of operative, sent to track him down by Maria and either lure him back to her, or to his demise.

As he kept his eyes trained on her, watching the odd spring in her step that she walked with, her excitement pouring out of her like water through a poorly maintained dam, he found himself not quite caring whether or not this girl was going to end this day by removing his head from his shoulders.

It wouldn’t be the worst way to go.

So instead of giving into even the basest instinct to remove himself from the situation or to stop and ask questions, he simply followed her. Occasionally she’d speak, a disapproving complaint about the weather or the state of his own clothes—tattered, wet, dirty—but mostly she remained silent, her unique eyes staring straight ahead as they maneuvered through Philadelphia.

It wasn’t until a little while later, as he watched her flit around a darkened room on the upper level of a loud, poorly-maintained, human housing unit, when he seemed to come back to reality.

Alice was suddenly stressed, anxiety and nervousness rolling off of her so thickly it almost took him off guard. It was a definite change of pace from the bliss he’d been drunk off of for the past couple of hours.

One of her hands was holding onto her elbow as the other supported her chin. She tapped her foot evenly, the noise loud in the otherwise silent room, staring at the wall as she thought to herself.

As he wondered what she was thinking, he found himself wondering if she knew what he was thinking. After all, she’d known his name. If she wasn’t one of Maria’s strange finds, then he had a million questions to ask. Something told him the answers wouldn’t be what he was expecting.

“Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”

And as she spoke for the first time since they entered the room, he found his eyes quickly meeting hers. Nervous, a little bit sad. Jasper had to resist sending out a comforting wave of emotions but decided against it; he still didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

At least she wasn’t scared. That would probably be cause for him to worry. Instead, he waited for her to elaborate, trying hard not to focus on the thin walls of the apartment. Or the fact that he could hear the collective heartbeats of a family resided directly to her left…

She was by his side in an instant, but the instant she reached out to grab his hands she froze and hesitated. When she made a noise of frustration, stepping backward and out of his reach, he could only watch, stunned, as this scene unfolded before him.

She noisily flopped down onto the rickety couch pressed against the wall. It looked too... human. With quick motions she pulled her gloves off, tossing them neatly to the side. “I don’t know why I thought this would be easier.”

There was a pause. “If you don’t mind me asking,” it felt odd to speak directly to her, “but what would?”

“I don’t know how to get you to stick around,” she spoke bluntly, letting her head fall into her hands.

That was unexpected. “I’m sorry, I think I’m misunderstanding something.” He then went back to their previous, brief conversation. “You said you’d been waiting for me?”

She laughed before sighing, leaning back on the couch and meeting his gaze from across the room. “Only all my life,” she laughed again. “I know I’m not doing a great job at explaining this, but so many choices don’t lead me with the results I want. I can’t decide what to say to you to keep you here.”

He blinked at that. But before he could speak again, she was already talking.

“See, and I know that makes no sense to you. I’m sorry! The more I confuse you, the less certain everything gets.” She was standing then, pacing. “I’ve been waiting my entire life to meet you. Of course I only started looking a few years ago—you weren’t ready before—but now that I see that you’re ready I’m afraid I’ve rushed things where I should’ve waited for longer.” She huffed. “What’s a few more years when it’s already been a couple of decades? But,” she looked over at him again before looking away, suddenly very embarrassed, “I didn’t want to wait any longer.”

And when he felt a pang of loneliness he couldn’t help but act, quickly smoothing over the jagged, painful emotion with something a bit more peaceful.

Alice smiled then, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. She was still smiling when she opened her eyes. “Thank you,” her smile was almost contagious, and when he felt the corners of his mouth involuntarily twitch, he found himself shocked. Did she know about his ability?

So maybe she wasn’t a vampire or a human. Maybe she was some other being. An enchantress of some sort...

“Ugh!” She groaned again, smile falling from her face. “I’m screwing this up already!”

“Ma’am,” he interrupted softly, “I’m still not sure what you want from me.”

“Alice,” she corrected softly, still embarrassed, but a little bit sad, “please, please call me Alice,” she begged.

“Alice,” he spoke quietly, trying not to think about how the name suited her, or how he wanted to say it again and again. He also tried ignoring the spark of unbridled joy and desire that erupted from her at the noise. It was… distracting. “I’m not trying to upset you.”

“Oh no, you’re not upsetting me at all!” Potent panic. “I’m upsetting myself! I don’t want to ruin this.” She was pacing again.

“You saw me coming,” he started his words slowly, as if laying the pieces down out loud would suddenly make them more likely to interconnect and fit together, “and waited years before looking for me. You mean like,” he tapped his head, “you saw me?”

“The first thing I saw, really. After waking up at least.”

He was lost again. “Waking up?”

She clicked her tongue, “I guess it really is uncommon,” she folded her arms and stopped moving again. “I don’t remember my human life.”

A beat of silence. “At all?”

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’ and rocked back on her heels. “But that’s a long story and we’ll have plenty of time to dive into that. Or,” another pause, “I hope we will.”

“Alice,” he tried hard to ignore the emotions that were radiating from her with every use of her name, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Not yet,” she grumbled, “It’s still a possibility though.”

“And possibilities change with choices?” It would certainly be the first time he’d ever heard of someone possessing the ability to see, what appeared to be, glimpses of the future.

She smiled again then, her eyes trained on the wall again as she stared. “You’re starting to get it.”

“Maybe a little bit,” he admitted without confidence. “It does make sense for the future to always be changing.”

“I knew we would need to compromise on things in order for this to work but it’s only been a few hours and I still can’t figure out the best path,” her words trailed off as she stared, and Jasper had a suspicion that she really was seeing these paths. Intuitive didn’t even seem appropriate enough of a term to use to describe her.

“What is there to compromise on?” He asked carefully. If this strange psychic girl was having doubts at whatever future she was seeing, what is it that she thought would drive him away?

“I don’t drink humans.”

He eyed her carefully. “Are you not a vampire?”

“Oh, no I am! As much of a vampire as you or Maria or—”

“So you know Maria?”

Alice’s face fell by whatever she saw then, “No, I don’t know her. I mean, I’ve seen her before but only because I see you. I’ve been watching you for decades now.”

He realized he was disappointed with that slip of information. This girl knew he’d been Maria’s companion, for lack of a better term. If she’d been seeing him for decades, then she’d seen her fair share of actions of his. None of which were very favorable.

“It doesn’t matter—I mean, it does, but I don’t care—I care about you but what you’ve done doesn’t affect the way I feel.”

“You care about me?”

She paused then, and slowly approached. “Yes, Jasper,” and when she spoke his name again, a small smile gracing her lips, he found himself very focused on her mouth. “And I know that sounds impossible.”

“It is,” he commented, watching with a keen gaze as she lessened the space between them.

“You know it isn’t,” she spoke matter-of-factly, smiling up at him as she stopped, hardly a foot away from him. “You can feel it. I know you can.”

He should have stepped back then. He should have demanded to know how she knew about his ability, or what other information she had about him. She knew enough to validate her own claims, that she could somehow see glimpses of the future, but for some reason his self-preservation still hadn’t kicked in. And as she inched closer to him, he was afraid that it wouldn’t.

When her bare hand finally reached out and grabbed his, their skin touching for the first time, her barely-concealed gasp caused him to rip himself back out of his thoughts. And when he realized that she was right, he froze.

Because there it was again, the emotion he’d felt back in the diner when he’d taken her hand initially. That buzzing, hopeful glimmer. Then, contentment and happiness. Excitement and nerves were hard to ignore, but the warmth underneath was all-encompassing. And then something else. An emotion he’d only felt when he was travelling with Peter and Charlotte.

When Alice grabbed his other hand and lifted them both up, Jasper hesitated when she tried to place his hands against her cheeks.

“Please trust me,” she whispered as she pressed his slowly opening hands against her face, holding her own over top of his. “I know I’ve given you no reason to, I know this is all very strange and confusing, and I know I’m not doing a good job at explaining who I am to you but,” she paused and bit her lip, “I care about you very much, Jasper. And I would really, really like it if you stayed with me.”

“Here?” He asked, and as he inhaled, the burn in his throat was hard to ignore. Combined with the noise of the several heartbeats he could hear through the walls, he almost found himself distracted again. But Alice squeezed his hands tightly, pressing his palms against her face more firmly, and his attention flickered back to her.

“Maybe not here,” she supplied quietly, eyes losing and regaining focus quickly. “I don’t know. Just stay,” slowly she released his hands and reached up toward him, letting out a small content hum when he let her rest her hands on his shoulders, “with me. We don’t have to stay in Philadelphia. We can travel. There’s still a lot of this country I haven’t seen yet. A lot of the world I haven’t seen.”

“Travelling,” Jasper was struggling to keep his focus on her face when her hands began to move from his shoulders and she laced them behind his neck, “that’s fine.”

Her grin was bright then, “So you’ll come with me?”

He felt a bit silly as he shrugged, but there was truth in his words. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.” He was also fairly certain at this point that whoever—or whatever—she was, it didn’t seem like killing him was on her priority list. And it was so easy to ignore the dangers of interacting with her this closely when the emotions radiating off of her felt like a breath of air.

“Trust me,” she repeated as she unlaced her hands and slowly lowered them, once more taking his hands in her own. “I’m asking a lot, I know. But please.”

He paused, considering his options. And as he thought for several seconds, he realized his options were slim. Either he continue existing in this miserable purgatory, never ending pain and despair haunting his every step, unshakeable in its grip...

Or trust this strange, beautiful girl.

“If you don’t eat humans,” he glanced from her eyes to their joined hands and then back again, “what do you eat?”

Her eyes lost focus for a few seconds and the absolute joy and happiness warmed the room so quickly that he almost took a step back.

She smiled widely then, turning to pull him toward the door. “Let me show you.”

[unkooked]

absolute.

In which love isn’t your strong suit and Jungkook is a philosophy student who believes in fate for the first time in his life. 6,172 words. 

[jk is a cute and smart asshole and u are too tired™ for his shit. but u love him i guess lol]

notes: i started writing this in november and finally finished it. a lil angsty, fluffy, fun, etc. i really tried my best to mimic real emotion, as well as struggle. sometimes it’s not easy to give into love. sometimes love is slow. sometimes people change u for the better. this fic gets better!! dont stop after the first part that’s the worst one lol. it’s long but idk maybe you’ll like it, give it a chance :)) 

        What began as the simplest spark of intrigue was rapidly beginning to warp itself within your thoughts and infiltrate your sense of inner peace, not to mention it was spreading with the intensity and conceit of a wild fire. God, you really hadn’t signed up for this.

***

1.

You had seen him once.

The day had been groggier than ever before; skies that mimicked all that was dull and bland showered the ground beneath with a potency that seemed absolutely endless. The air was damp, and cold, and gut-wrenching, and though the city seemed to be screaming for even the smallest fraction of salvation, you found yourself in a certain sense of tranquility. And perhaps your day would’ve continued its soothing calm, that is, had you not decided to wear flip-flops on your commute to work.

“Mom, why’s that lady wearing pink slippers? She looks like a clown.” The voice of the little boy on the subway could he heard from across the train, and as soft giggles escaped the mouths of those around you, what some people may consider irrationality began to kick in.

           You’d woken up at 5am, for God’s sake—you were already running late from the long trial and error you’d suffered through with the new makeup set you’d bought. As simple as it sounded, you were tired. And the flip-flops were comfortable. To wear real shoes meant putting on a pair of socks, and high heels would only result in endless groaning and a marathon of foot cramps. Really, you were just trying to protect yourself. And what was wrong with that? Couldn’t people judge others from the ankles up? Wasn’t this the home of the free? Whatever happened to national security?

           You couldn’t imagine what horrid expression was etched upon your face, and quite frankly, you didn’t want to. But it must have been something truly revolutionary as the young man across from you couldn’t seem to control his shameless snickering.

This is when the irrationality seemed to be coming back to you. Maybe if you just ignored him, he’d piss off. Looking at him meant acknowledging his existence. Looking at him meant losing. But then he laughed again—and your eyes couldn’t help but catch a glimpse at his shadowy figure. And as much as you wanted your curiosity to yield just this once, you felt almost at ease that it hadn’t.

He was breathtaking . . . and annoying. Mostly annoying.

His eyes were sultry and dark in colour, the way the corners of his mouth dipped upward slightly was adorable. Had the loud laughter not fallen once again from his lips, perhaps you would have found yourself staring at him for eternity. Or, that is, until your stop.  You tried to avert your eyes, but suddenly the details of the whole situation started getting fuzzy, and his laugh might have been annoying, but damn, his smile was adorable. Handsome asshole.

Your mind was screaming at you. Look away. Look away. Look away.

But how could you tear your eyes away from a man that seemingly embodied both the fatality of eloquence and the beauty of self assurance. His presence was admittedly mesmerizing, and you would be lying if you said he didn’t have all your attention.

“Angry?” His voice rang softy.

You looked upward. Did he just say something? The sound overthrew your thoughts. Why were you angry again?

“Are you angry?” He repeated with a hint of amusement. “You know, at that kid?”

Right. That’s why. The brat.

“Incredibly.” You weren’t thinking. “This is slander.”

“Slander?” He was incredulous, and you were an idiot. “He’s like 6.”

Great. Now it looked like you hated kids.

“Yeah-Well… maybe he shouldn’t be saying things like that.”

He threw his head back against his seat and let out the smallest of laughs. Was it crazy to say it sounded melodic?

“You’re funny.”

“You’re perfect.” The words had left your mouth before your brain could even register the repercussions. His face had started with confusion, but was quickly twisting into something reminiscent of a smile. Before he could even ask, you leapt out of your seat and rushed toward the subway door. He seemed like he was going to follow, you shouted before he could even try.

“Sorry! This is my stop!” You were lying of course. But you couldn’t let him bother you.

Getting off one stop early and walking the rest of the way to work wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as suffocating in the discomfort of that conversation. For the first time in ten minutes, it felt like you could breathe. The subway was confined embarrassment, an utter death zone. But Manhattan was as Manhattan always is in the fall; filled to the brim and drowning in rain.

If you were lucky, maybe you would drown too.

***

2.

“You’re being dramatic.” Jessie etched mockingly, driving the night forward with a phrase you felt like you had heard for the umpteenth time.

“I’m not, Jess! I’m serious! It was completely embarrassing; I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Professor Frouckner went off on me because I was so late. I ran to class in flip flops. During a torrential downpour. Don’t you understand the pain I just went through? I-I could have frostbite for God sake. Or, or died, even!” At this point, you were flailing your arms in front of her face. There was a point to be made. Jessie just threw her head back laughing and rolled her eyes.

She reached across the table and grabbed your hand.  

“Yeah. Okay, so 1. You’re drunk. 2. You’re crazy. And 3, I’m gonna have to ask you to turn it down, sweetheart. Because that’s not at all how frostbite works.”

“I’m a law student; I don’t need to know the nitty gritty details on frostbite, okay? Hop off my dick.”  

“Wow. He changed you!” Jess replied in between giggles. You pursed your lips and took another swig of the drink in front of you. “What are you, [Y/N], a twelve year old boy? “Hop off my dick”, who the fuck says stuff like that? Are you okay? I’m concerned.”

The club was new and hot and bustling with students from all over campus, and therefore, the music was so loud, it was credulously easy tuning out Jess’ mom lecture.

“Maybe he drugged you,” her voice droned on. “Did he pass you a mysterious liquid?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, and before you could even begin to respond to the utter nonsense she seemed to be spewing, you saw the one person that had left you so mortified to begin with. The exact person you had gone out with Jess to forget about. Irony is a bitch.

A small gasp left your mouth as your throat began to grow dry. Immediately, you averted your gaze to the utensils on the table and pulled her in closer.

“Jess, stop talking. Now!” You whisper shouted, trying to hide your face from the intrusive stranger. Why was he here? Did he want to make your life hell? Did God think this was a funny trick?

“And now you’ve become rude too!” She continued. “Wow. I really hate this guy. Who does he think he is, honestly, he’s completely taken over your persona-,” before she could go on, you grabbed her hand and gestured behind her.

“He’s here!” You groaned aloud.

“He’s what?!” Jessie whipped her head around and gasped. She turned back to you with wide eyes and a wider smile to match. “He’s hot? You didn’t tell me, he was hot! Ohmygod, this is exactly what you need. A cute boy to distract you from your life problems!”

“Jessie, he is my life problem! Now stop looking at him! He’s gonna notice us!” You replied sharply, using your margarita to cover your face.

“I can’t help it. He’s so good looking. Why aren’t you more excited? This is fate, [Y/N]. Did you read your romance horoscope this morning? This is your man! How are you not gawking at him right now?”

“Jessie. Stop. Staring,” you grit through clenched teeth.

His eyes flickered to your table and you nearly felt your heart drop to the pits of your stomach.

“He can tell! He can totally tell! Look somewhere else, you jerk!”

“God, you’re so dramatic! The only way he’d be able to see us right now if I stood up and shouted at him from across the room.”

Her face twisted into a crooked smile and immediately you felt your stomach clench and your eyes widen.

“Jessie,” you tried to reason. Key word, tried. “Please don’t do this.”

“You, my friend, need to face your fears!”

“Jess, please, please don’t, don’t do it plea-,” your pleas had started, only to be ignored and replaced with the loud booming of Jessie’s voice over the music.

“Hey! Subway boy! Look over here! It’s her! From the Subway! This morning?! You remember? You’re cute! Come over here!”

You tried to jump from the chair and make a run for it but Jess grabbed onto your hand a second faster. “You’re unbelievable,” you hissed.

“You’re gonna love me for this one day. The day I introduced you to your husband!” She had a dopey smile on her face. You felt like jumping into a volcano.

“I already met him.” You shot back in frustration. “And it was bad enough the first time!”

“Well, you better shake that off, because he’s coming this way.”

“You’ve got to be joking.” You peered through the hair on your face and knitted your eyebrows in agony.

“And, I, am gonna head towards the bar. I’ll leave you two love birds alone, you know,” she winked. “To . . . get to know each other a little better.”

“Jess. Don’t leave me here. I will kill you. I’m serious. Not an ounce of me is joking right now. I will literally-,”  

“Erhhh.” She interrupted. “Wrong answer. I’ll see you later babe! The bar is calling!”

Before the string of curse words were even registered in your brain, you felt the smallest of taps on your shoulder.

Great. Now, this, was going to be an experience.

***

3.

“Hi.”

You gulped before turning around.

As you met eyes, you almost felt your voice catch itself in your throat again. He looked just as beautiful as he had this morning, his hair playfully swayed over his forehead and his eyes continuously peering into your own. While you seemed to be feeling apprehensive and unsure, he seemed to emit the absolute opposite.

In fact, he seemed to be glowing.

His eyes were wide and warm, welcoming even. His lips were turned upwards, adorning that same irritating smirk you had caught a glimpse of earlier in the day. There was nothing to say about his appearance other than the blatant obvious. He was absolutely gorgeous.

“H-hi,” you drew out, slowly. Your stomach was turning in its anxious wake, but also, you realized, excitement.  

“I’m Jungkook.” He reached his hand out.

Handshake? Who handshakes? That’s just weir-

“Or perfect. I mean, you can call me that if you like it better.” He quipped with a smug smile stretched across his face. You wanted to punch it off. Or kiss him. Either, or.

“You know,” the confidence in your voice surprised even yourself. “I thought you were handsome for about two seconds just now.”

The small smirk on his lips began to grow larger as he raised a single brow back at you.         

 “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You repeated, crossing your arms and leaning back into the loft chair.

“What changed?”

You scrunched up your nose for dramatic effect. Because, clearly, theatrics were always important. You tilted your face slightly to the left. Jungkook waited in obvious anticipation, watching him squirm was almost amusing.

“You opened your mouth.”

Jungkook feigned hurt. He pretended to wince and held a hand to his chest, all whilst trying to shake off his laughter.

“Ouch!” He exclaimed. “You’re really out for blood, here, aren’t you? Are you always this . . .,” he struggled to find the right word.

“Witty?” You posed. “Hilarious? Eccentric? Creative? I think you’re definitely looking for creative.”

“Hmm. I was actually thinking bitchy.” He shrugged. Then he cracked that annoying smirk. God, you were really starting to hate that.

“Me? I’m a bitch? You’re the bitch!”

And that’s when he started laughing hysterically.

“Why are you laughing? You think this is funny, huh? You just call girls over; call them bitches and you feel happy with yourself?”

He put a finger up in his defense. “Actually, babe, you called me over here.”

Now, that, crossed a line.

“Don’t call me babe.” You grit. Who the fuck did this guy think he was?

“Chill out,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s a term of endearment. Have you ever heard of that word? You know, love, compassion, empathy? Are you familiar with any of those concepts?”

“Shut up, you asshole! I know love, okay? I’m not a dear person in your life, so-,” hop off my dick? “So just lay off.” You finished.

He nodded. “Yeah, well, not yet anyway.”

You felt like scoffing into oblivion. “Oh, you think you’re smooth, huh? You think you can just walk in here and say some douche-bag line you’ve prepared and it’s just gonna work out and I’m just gonna fall in love with you? Are you insa-,” before the final syllable left your mouth, Jess had already barged herself into the conversation.

“How’s it going lovebirds?” She chirped loudly, glaring at you with an intensity you’ve never quite seen before.

“Amazing.”

“Terrible.”

“Alright,” she clapped. “That’s what I like to hear!”

Jungkook moved toward Jess and put a single hand on her shoulder. He cracked a smile at you then looked back at her. “You know, I think your friend is really falling for me.”

“I’m going to PUNCH YOU-,” Jess clamped a hand over your mouth and began laughing awkwardly, threatening with her gaze alone whilst Jungkook stayed snickering in the corner.

“Don’t worry about her, she gets a little carried away when she’s drunk.” Jess was trying to diffuse the situation as much as she could, an attempt to put Jungkook at ease and save her friend’s reputation.

Little did she know, Jungkook wasn’t in distress. Not at all, quite frankly.

In fact, he was amused. This night had been more eventful than any night he’d had in the past couple weeks, most of which, were being spent preparing for his philosophy final he’d taken this morning. He’d seen a girl this morning on the way to his exam, a girl wearing ridiculously hideous pink flip flops. It had been enough to make him crack a smile and forget the weight on his shoulders that seemingly did not falter. For a few minutes, it had felt like his sole purpose was to sit there and laugh at her, as incredibly moronic as it sounded. But then again, he was taking philosophy. Analyzing life had singlehandedly take over his life. And this, as bizarre as it was, felt something reminiscent of a good omen. Maybe he was dreaming. But then again, dreams were good, weren’t they?

So when Jess awkwardly tried to mend the pieces of their chaotic conversation, he could only smile. And this time, it wasn’t his cheap and snarky way of making her blood boil. Rather, it was a sentiment of his curiosity. He didn’t know what would become of this, but he was more than willing to find out. This, her, it was something worth his attention. It was something that would blossom: for better or worse, at this point, he couldn’t tell. But he couldn’t help but be invested.

Jungkook wanted nothing more than to burst out laughing at her unfaltering insult slinging and boldly express his admiration for her; he wanted to tell her he liked this. That is, whatever this was. But something told him his growing optimism would be forced to undergo a series of pessimistic trials, i.e., her.

He liked her. He knew it. He didn’t want to believe in heavenly signs from the universe; he didn’t believe in love at first sight or in destiny or even soul mates, for that matter. Those things weren’t real, to him. Those were idealisms, thoughts, beliefs, they could be nurtured and mirrored and amplified, but they weren’t tangible. But this was something different. The quickening of his pulse was real, the escalades in his stomach were real, and the constant scrutinizing of what he said or what he did was real. To Jungkook, this wasn’t just an empty call from the universe meant to send a message. It was like a force of energy that beckoned him to take things a step further and pushed him to take action. He was more sure now than ever, that this, was a brutal awakening for was to come in the near future.

And so, he would wait.

He would play along. He would be the guy he needed to. He would do whatever it took to carry through this relationship and allow it to flourish the way it needed. Because this was deserving. Not to mention, annoying the shit out of her found itself to be an extremely entertaining past time.

Jungkook kept his smile tight. “Don’t worry about it.” He was quick to respond though his thoughts resonated somewhere else, somewhere deeper and distant. “I can’t judge the unstable, can I?” Then he winked.

“Unstable?” She bellowed incredulously.  “Do you ever shut up? Were you given love as a child?”

Jungkook wanted to throw his head back and laugh at the girl’s coherently bizarre behaviour, but the thought of getting decked in the face wasn’t so appealing, and so, he decided to take a more cautious route.

“Goodnight, [Y/N].”

He could hear her faint ramblings even as he as he was slowly walking away from the girls, letting lose the smirk that had begged so desperately to reveal itself, and for the time in a long time, he felt a shift of anxiety in his stomach. What, exactly, was this? Was it too soon to set his heart on her? Definitely.  

Jungkook hadn’t the smallest clue what was going on. But as much as this circumstance screamed dysfunction, there was an underlying sense of comfort that pulled him toward her, exhilaration, even. He wasn’t poetic or neurotic or an even a romantic, for that matter, and even in his second year of philosophy, Jungkook hadn’t thought of his life objectively, nor did he believe in fate. But this feeling he felt, this rush, this spurt of adrenaline, this beating of his chest, the sweating of his palms, the sheer intensity of his apprehension, this feeling held so much uncertainty—and yet—and yet the worlds fell so freely, and loosely, and smoothly from his mouth. He knew what to say, always. But how? How, when he was feeling somewhere between riding the best roller coaster of his life and walking a tight rope over impending chaos. His mind was blazing, stressing, obsessing; searching for meaning in the midst of the madness that had now become his life. Perhaps there was none.

Perhaps not.

4.

“So you’re just going to ignore me? I am literally sitting right beside you.”

“You don’t exist.”

“I definitely do.”

“Well, if I continue to pretend like you don’t exist, there’s got to be some truth to it, right?”

“No. Literally not at all. Have you heard of science, or-,”

“Shut up. Just shut up. Okay? You… you nerd.” The very little patience you had started your day with immediately began to grow weak. Firstly, thanks to the disgustingly painful hangover you were powering through, and second, well, Jungkook seemed to be making grandiose contributions to the irritability department.

“Wow. I think I’ve finally cracked the case, ha, get it? ‘Cause you’re in law?” Jungkook stifled one of his infamous laughs and regained his composure. “Yeah, anyways, you’re insane.”

“Thank you, Jungkook. You know what? That really pulls together a lot of missing pieces in my life. Thank you for your service. Goodbye.”

Jungkook ignored your attempts at escaping the conversation and averted his attention toward the subway.

“Hey, this is your stop right?”

Shit.

There was no way you were going to resurface the same havoc from getting off a stop early yesterday, not after Mr. Frouckner had torn you a new asshole with his mindless droning about punctuality.

“No, actually. The next stop is,” you coughed awkwardly. “…my stop.” Maybe if you spoke quietly, he wouldn’t catch on. That was your best bet.

“So…you lied yesterday.”

Best bet shot down. Nice to know the universe was on your side.

The blatant delight in Jungkook’s voice made the pits of your stomach churn. He was never going to let go of this. In fact, this is probably exactly what he yearned for: another instance he could mock and chastise you for. This was probably Jungkook’s ultimate dream.

“So I guess I left a stunning impression on you, huh?” You fought the urge to throw your bag at his stupid mouth.

“You know what?” You pursed your lips and looked outside the window. “Actually, this is my stop.”

The corners of Jungkook’s mouth were so often turned upwards, a surge of confusion went through you when you noticed his lips had gone from its usual crooked smile to somewhat of a pressed frown.

For a second, all you could do was look at him.

His eyes were narrowed slightly and he bit the inside of his cheek. His seconds of contemplation were enough to leave your stomach bouncing against itself.

“You can’t just walk away from your feelings.”

Jungkook’s eyes peered into your very own in a way that was utterly intrusive. His hair was tussled and messy, his skin shining behind the beams of fluorescent lights. Even with the simple pessimistic thoughts and urges of aggravation, your heart gravitated toward the soft echo of his voice. In a different world, maybe you could love this. In a different world, maybe you would overcome this constant constriction, this widespread fear that always seemed to manifest itself into every fragment of your life. This was new. He was new. He was different. Maybe you could trust him.

With a single step upward and the swaying of your body, you turned toward the subway doors and gulped.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Maybe it wasn’t time to take chances.

5.

“You’re going to this party.”

“Jessie. You’re my love, I love you, okay? But no. Definitely not.”

Jessie rolled her eyes for the thousandth time, and she paced through your room once more, arms folded across her chest with a clear motive on her mind.

“Well, Jungkook’s going to be there,” her voice rang coyly, and she gave you a sideways glance, hoping to lock you in her gaze and use her amazing powers of persuasion.

But your eyes were purposefully glued to the computer screen in front of you.

Jungkook’s name made your fingers tense, and instead of looking at your bestfriend and telling her you might have been feeling your heart shifting for a boy, you kept your eyes straight and kept your words short.

“Not interested, Jess. Next time.”

If human beings could display their emotions based on colour, you swore Jess was blazing and fiery red, as she shrieked in annoyance once again, throwing herself on your bed and screaming into one of your pillows.

“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“No, I’m not, bitch. I hate you, you’re the worst.”

“Jess—you know I don’t like parties okay? This doesn’t have anything to do with anything else—,”

“Anyone, you mean,” she corrected matter-of-factly.

You were almost compelled to pick up one of the pillows behind your back, and launch it at her face at 800 miles per hour. But, the thought quickly vanished, because you’re a merciful human being that believes in second chances.

“I’m going to ignore that because I think you’re going through a hard time,” you whispered while patting her back, and Jessie hissed into your pillows. Maybe she was going to hit you with a pillow at 800 miles per hour.

“[Y/N], stop playing dumb, okay? You know exactly who I’m talking about.”

God, when was this fucker going to stop being the highlight of all your personal conversations. You threw your head back and groaned.

“When are you going to understand that I don’t have feelings for him?!”

“When you can fucking go somewhere he’s gonna be at, without having a mental break, you shady bitch!”

Fuck it.

“Fine, I’m going!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

Jessie let out a laugh, and you soon followed, why did boys always make things so difficult?

“I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“I fucking hate you.”

6.

Yup. This was really happening.

“This place smells like fucking paradise.” You marveled at the immense expanse of broadly lit rooms and expensive luxury all around you. So this is what it’s like to get a sports car for your fifteenth birthday.

“Rich people, man.” Jessie shook her head and grabbed a drink off the stretch of wooden table, taking a large sip, and then placing it back down.

The house belonged to a friend’s of a friend’s of a friend’s, and it was by far the biggest house you’d ever stepped into in your entire life. It looked like it was something out of an elaborate Parisian getaway, but the crowds of drunken people swaying anything but rhythmically to Lil Pump made it more than clear that this was the epitome of college parties.

The dress you were wearing was Jess’, and it was itchy, bodycon, and far too thin to keep anybody warm on any winter night. But, it made you feel good, and so you supposed that was the most important thing as you walked across the house’s wide and echoing halls, anxious from the stares of those around you.

“Don’t look now,” Jessie whispered into your ear, and of course, immediately your head whipped around opposite of her direction to see what she was talking about. Or who, rather.

Fuck.

“I told you NOT to look. What part of that did you NOT understand?!”

“I was nervous okay?! Who doesn’t look in that situation?!”

“Well, you don’t have time to freak out, Jungkook’s coming this way right now.” Jess let out the words nonchalantly as she grabbed another drink, and as you felt his shadow approaching, you tried your best not to look like the most constipated and fidgety individual in the world.

Was it working? Definitely not.

“I’m gonna be right over there okay,” Jessie whispered gently and gestured toward the doorway right across from you.

“No, no, no, Jess, don’t leave, don’t leave—,”

“Get off me, I have to, he’s coming—,”

“Don’t leave—,”

“Stop I’m going—,”

You felt a gentle tap on your shoulder, as Jess slyly tottered away in her slightly tipsy state and shot you a not so secret wink. Great.

“Hi,” Jungkook’s breath hit your neck, and you felt your throat become tight. When you turned around to glance at him, you realized he looked a little different. His hair looked longer, darker, shinier, the skin along his cheeks and forehead were glossy and tanned, his complexion was slightly flushed, and yet the golden undertones were enough to bring you back to your summer classes, half spent avoiding Jungkook on the subway. The troubled look in his eyes, the eyes that you had been looking away from for months, was enough to make you feel regret. He looked so happy always, and yet the subtle pain you could feel from his expression made you feel like the wicked enchantress in any cliché fairytale. He was pretty enough to be a prince, you thought.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

His words broke your trance. And yes, it was a trance. Because just like you remembered it, looking at Jungkook was not simply looking at any kindred spirit looking for a purpose in life, looking at Jungkook felt like a purpose. And as ridiculous as it sounded, you thought it was worth it.

“I-I haven’t.” You spoke as firmly as you could, but he didn’t seem convinced, you could tell. And it was now more than ever that you wished you could lie as well as everybody else, or be as bold as half the kids that were at this stupid party, or flirt as eloquently as Jess. But you couldn’t, and he knew. He knew.

“Are you ever going to give this a chance?” He asked, and you could hear how desperate he was. It burned. You felt your throat closing, more. Was that possible?

“Give what a chance?”

“This, [Y/N]. Us. Are you ever going to stop avoiding me, avoiding your feelings for me, avoiding potential? Y-you’re a part of my life. You’ve been a part of my life for months. Why are you running away?” Jungkook’s eyes bore into yours. He was waiting for an answer. You wanted to give him an answer.

This isn’t what you were used to. This was foreign. This warm feeling that crept up your sides and held you sharply like a paralyzing embrace, this sweep of heat that fell over your cheeks and made your jaw slack, this cloud of beautiful iridescence that made your pupils shake, that stole your gaze, that forced your gaze—upon him. You couldn’t think, and the droning of the voices around you only made the burning sensation in your heart worse.

“I-I need to go,” you mumbled rapidly, grabbing your clutch and shuffling out the veranda door across the hall; refusing to look back at the boy that stole your dreams and made your being quake.

You needed to go.

7.

“[Y/N]!”

“I-I wasn’t meant for relationships, Jungkook. Just drop it.”

“How do you know that? You’ve never given yourself the fucking chance!” Jungkook shot back. The intensity in his eyes ran shivers down your spine. This was breaking him, you were breaking him. This is exactly the reason why you wanted to stay away.  

“I’m just not a “love” person, okay?” You pleaded.

“Yeah, I think I’ve picked that up by now.”

“Jungkook don’t make this harder than it already is. Don’t you have something better to be doing right now, something other than harassing me? ”

“Why do you keep pushing me away? Why don’t you trust me?”

“Why can’t you just drop it?!”

Jungkook’s eyes blazed deeply into yours, frustration evident in his face. He must’ve been worn out to the absolute max, and yet there was a still a sense of determination that lingered within him.

He stepped forward and drew a breath.

“Because,” his voice broke. Your heart clenched.

“Because every single time I walk away from you, I get this splitting, fucking avalanche of thoughts, that keep asking over and over and over again: ‘why did you fucking let her go? There’s something here’.”

“I feel this hollowness; because I know you. I’ve seen what life is like with you. And it’s better. It’s so much better than anything I’ve ever had, any relationship I’ve ever made. How am I supposed to just walk away and pretend like you didn't change things? When I know we have something other people wait their whole fucking lives for? When I know there’s something here? Leaving this unresolved like this is eating away at me, [Y/N]. It fucking hurts being around you knowing you don’t want the same thing. But I’m an idiot, alright? Does that make you happy? I stick around, thinking that maybe one day, something will change. That maybe one day, you’ll look at me and admit to yourself that you have feelings. Because I know you do, [Y/N]. Because I don’t think we met for no reason. Because for the time in my fucking life I believe in fate, and it’s not fucking working out and its making me go crazy. So you know what? I am sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made this mess, but I don’t regret it. And I never fucking will.”

Frozen.

Your body had fallen completely frozen.

The growing discomfort in your stomach had become entirely unbearable, Jungkook let out a staggered breath as your heart beat accelerated; icy chill after icy chill continued to make way down your spine, to the point at which it felt there was a constant outpour of frost at the small of your back. This was sickening. This was torturous. This was gut-wrenching. Though the words felt so soft and easy and comforting in your mouth, the thought of the world they would awaken left you aching to your core. You cared for him. You cared for him so, so much. He was the mirage at the end of a desert of relationships that all seemed to either dry out or suck the life out of you. Though your mind begged for reason and practicality, your heart yearned for the potential of something absolutely breath-taking. Because he, was absolutely breath-taking. And a world without him, well, that wasn’t a life you thought you were prepared for.

Jungkook stood in front of you, running a hand through his hair and catching one last glimpse at the girl he swore was the absolute love of his life. He wasn’t prepared to say goodbye, and yet there he stood, mind flooded with outcomes he couldn’t completely fathom, and most of them, admittedly bad.

He turned around.

If you continued to live your life the way you always had, cautious, safe, you could protect yourself from torment and heartbreak and destruction. If you continued to live your life the way you always had, you’d be able to carry out the rationality of life, the logic, the sensibility.

If you continued to live your life the way you always had, nothing would ever change.

You grabbed his wrist.

“I love you.”

8.

“You—what?” His eyes were almost glossy, and the fleet of stomping elephants in your stomach suddenly felt less overbearing than the pounding in your chest.

You gulped.

“I love you. A-and you, you’re making me go crazy. And I’m not. I’m normal you know! I’m not crazy! It’s you! You’re doing this! You’re making me insane. I-I-you- you-,” your chest heaved. “You’re changing me!”

“Okay.”

“Okay? That’s all you have to fucking say right now? Really? Are you fucking serious I’m gonna—,”

“Okay.”

His mouth twitched. He looked like he was smiling. God, you wanted to punch that smile off his lip. But God, you couldn’t stop staring.

Jungkook bit his lip, the whiplash of emotions almost making him nauseous. He had just gone from complete frustration and dismay, to utter exhilaration; euphoria. All the while, you couldn’t keep your eyes off the soft pink silhouette of his mouth.

Stop looking at his lips.

Stop looking at his lips.

Stop looking at his lips.

God, who fucking cares.

The first thing you did was drop your clutch. Jungkook quipped an eyebrow and his smirk stuck firmly, and you wondered how it would change when you wrapped your arms thickly around his neck and finally attached your chapped and dry lips to his admittedly adorable and absolutely plump lips.

And so you did.

You launched forward and roughly took his lips in yours, and though Jungkook could feel every muscle in his body tensing, the feeling immediately flood away in a single rush of elation that allowed him to smile onto your mouth. Jungkook felt tentative, but the steady pressure of his kiss alongside the gentle caressing of his lips had your fingers shaking. He cupped your cheeks, and squished them endearingly before finally pulling away, lips promiscuously crimson and face flushed. Your noses brushed against each other, and the sheer cliché of the situation made your stomach clench.

Jungkook let out a boisterous laugh as you shut your eyes tightly and then opened them up again.

“So you like me, huh?”

And the smirk sitting on his lips this time filled your heart with the same aggravation that seemed to consume you so naturally, and just as strongly, was the temptation to kiss his annoying lips again just to shut him up.

“Fuck off Jungkook.”

“I’m just asking.”

“I’m just gonna kill you.”

And again he laughed, and you laughed with him. And though the idea of love and relationships and fate and everlasting romance never seemed to rapture your soul the way you often wished it had—though the thought of fate and eternity seemed far away and barely tangible—you ignored your fear of every hurtful past and any spiteful future, and thought now, in this moment, a future with Jungkook was absolute. You hoped.

((if u made it this far, thank u and have a lovely day u beautiful person!!! ily) 

[thetragictoy]

Opnemer and the Recorder of Memories

Okay, so I’ve got this beautiful idea for a book that I’ve been working on for over two years now and I just wrote out character descriptions for all of my lovely characters! If anyone can help find some inspo or would like to sketch up, collage—whatever you’d like to contribute to my babies would be incredibly helpful! I already have the first chapter pretty solidified, but it’s subject to change (if anyone would like to read it and I see enough interest, I’ll gladly post chapter one!). But, without further adieu, here are (most of) my main babies!

Opnemer- Adorable little fairy of a girl, Op is full of optimism and love. Medium length brown hair, big brown eyes, tanned skin, a relatively straight nose (not big but also not sloped, just kinda straight), and rather average in stature—about 5’6”. When she’s having a heated conversation with Desmond or simply interested, her ideal hairstyle is the quick and messy bun (to keep hair out of her face). When she’s in Desmond’s dreams, she loves wearing white and she loves retro dresses that are simple in style, but fun to twirl in. She also loves wearing and seeing bright colors in the dreamscape.

Sonata- A very sweet and gentle spirit, Nata has a strong urge to protect those that he loves. Light brown hair, hazel green eyes, wears glasses (rectangular frames?), lightly tanned skin—lighter than Op, around 6’2”. If Nata didn’t have to wear the same deep eggplant purple everyday, he’d be an absolute t-shirt and jeans kinda guy with fun looking Chuck Taylors. He’s the funny—sometimes awkward—guy who cares immensely about Op. Just imagine he’s the guy nervous laughing as he scratches the back of his head 😂

Desmond- A growing teenage boy with a ton of personality, Des is wise and humble. Dark, curly brown hair, brown eyes, (he’s my lil Mexican boy), very insanely tan (he likes being outside), and currently I see him about 16 at 6’0”. He’s super casual in what he wears, but likes his little touch of style in each outfit. (He likes to look like he’s not trying while actually trying most of the time 😂) His classic look is a printed short sleeve button downs, jeans, and some sweet lace up leather boots. He usually wears his lapis lazuli that his mother gave him until he and Op exchanged necklaces (but they wear them as bracelets) and he never takes hers off (I’ve written this particular scene into existence already, so it’s canon!).

Ruby- A wonderfully artsy gal, Ruby challenges herself almost constantly. Long brown hair, green green eyes, darker skin tone (something close to Des), and about 5’2”. She loves painting, sketching, writing poetry, and doing ceramics. She loves getting into the action and could care less if her hands get dirty. She has quite the retro bohemian style and loves loose, airy organic clothing that doesn’t weigh her down. She loves to layer pieces to make her look like a low key bohemian princess. She loves colors, but typically wears more muted or neutral tones to keep from clashing with the loud colors of her art. She’s a very simple girl who’s headstrong and wildly independent. She’s usually the girl telling her friends exactly what they need to hear to help them achieve what it is that they want.

Sahwira- Incredibly intelligent and doesn’t often say much. Gold-blonde hair, piercing blue-grey eyes, ridiculously sharp jawline & cheekbones, around 6’0”. He’s a pale boy who would avoid being outdoors if the Recorders had an outdoors. He comes off as intimidating because he’s taller than Op, especially when he’s close to her. He’s almost always caught scowling and doesn’t smile often (if ever really). He’s a no nonsense man and is one of the oldest Recorders that’s lived (but because they don’t age, he’d really be quite attractive if he smiled). He secretly cares about Op and when she talks to him for the first time, it’s like all the hardness of his features melts away and she just sees a softness in him that she didn’t think could exist (because when he’s not scowling, he has some rather sad but sweet eyes). Sahwira really quite likes the dark colors they wear, but he would definitely be the office type who wears slacks, button down shirts, dress shoes, and a ridiculously expensive watch. If he didn’t care what people thought of him, he would 100% wear dad hats, jeans, t-shirts, and Vans.

Edeko- Sophisticated and sweet, Eddy is a whirlwind of quiet energy and support. Curly curly brown hair, amber brown eyes, mulatto skin, a splash of freckles on her face, around 5’8”. While she’s incredibly sassy when she’s with Sahwira (whom she has nicknamed Wira), she’s got a whole stock of wisdom for younger Recorders. She’s helped Nau emotionally through some of the hard times, but she also knows how to be straight with someone when they need to hear the truth. If she didn’t have to wear deep eggplant all the time, she’d easily be a girl who loves high waisted jeans, crop tops, and high tops. To get cozy, you’d 100% find her in a huge oversized sweater that’s off one shoulder, some flannel pj shorts and fuzzy slippers.

Nauhuri- Bubbly and fully of life, Nau is an absolute sweetheart who has a rather tragic past. Platinum blonde hair in a pixie cut, brilliant electric blue eyes, a sea of studs on her left ear and a cuff and chain on her right, full lips, adorable button nose, and milky skin. She’s had it rough but she knows just how to keep on trekking. Without the set eggplant purple clothes Nau would have an adorable sense of style. Crop tops, pleated skirts, chokers, and Doc Martins would be her go to. She would also easily be spotted in a t-shirt, leggings, and tennis shoes on a comfy day.

Musajjil- A seriously chill dude with a heart of gold. Dark black hair that is likely to be pulled back into the messy man bun, dark brown eyes, a pretty big schnoz, caramel skin, about 5’8”. Musajjil adores Nau and always has her back. He loves her fighting spirit and her ability to stay positive while also adapting to her situation. Musa sounds like a total surfer dude and is extremely go with the flow. He’s easily approachable and loves conversation. If he wasn’t stuck in eggplant purple, you better believe he’d be in cargo shorts, t-shirts or muscle tanks, flip-flops, and wearing a necklace made of sea glass and pukka shells.

Taifeadta- A hopeless romantic who tries to be a ladies man, but inevitably fails. Short but stylish dirty blonde hair, deep green eyes, some scruff on his face, around 5’10”. I like to imagine him with glasses, but I guess he could go with or without. Tai is my sweet sweet boy who has tons of personality and loves flirting (or trying to anyways). He’s incredibly attracted to Eddy—mostly because she’s so sophisticated and well versed with everything in their world. He does eventually fall for another Recorder (Kina) and she makes him nervous and it’s adorable because there’s lots of blushing and speechlessness (and Tai is never speechless). His ideal outfits would be some nice jeans, t-shirts and hoodies, and skate highs.

Kinasa- Shy and gentle, she’s a calming presence to anyone in the room. Long black hair, almond shaped eyes blacker than night, flat(ish) but adorable nose, porcelain skin, around 5’2”. Kina always carries a calming aura and is rather shy compared to the other Recorders. She’s intrigued by Tai and loves how his calm and cool nature gets tripped up by her presence and knows that Tai is really very sweet behind his “ladies man” facade. She’d love to wear long simple A-line dresses, corduroy overalls, pastel colors mixed with deep rich tones, and shoes ranging from tennis shoes to creepers.

Gravadora- Cunning and mischievous, she makes up one half of the twins. Long airy black hair, bright green eyes, a dash of freckles, small but cute nose, pale olive skin, around 5’9”. Rava is full of energy so if someone sets her off, she’s quick to her temper. She loves fiercely and she doesn’t know how she’d do this job without her brother Graves. She’d ideally wear something laid back like bootcut jeans, long sleeve shirts and hoodies, and Converse. She’s a simple gal.

Gravador- Daring and witty, he makes up the second half of the twins. Wavy black hair (kinda shaggy), bright green eyes with the longest eyelashes ever (only noticeable when you’re close enough to really look at him), a dash of freckles, small but cute nose, pale olive skin, around 5’9”. While the twins are nearly the spitting image of each other, Graves is a bit softer than his sister. He’s a bit more emotional, but he keeps that to himself although she already knows something’s wrong just by the way he breathes. Graves would love wearing natural or muted tones. He’s a sucker for flannels, jeans, and leather boots.

Death- Snarky and sarcastic, Death loves to pick a fight. Tall and brooding with choppy black hair, amber brown eyes, rather pointed nose and gaunt cheeks, pale skin, well built, around 6’5”. Death can regularly be found in black jeans, black t-shirts, black leather jackets, and black leather boots. He’s sassy and completely uncouth, but that’s how he’d like to portray himself to people. He’s been blamed for everything he’s never done over his lifetime so while he does in fact have a soft side that longs to be understood, he decides to mask that part of him with an air of sarcastic wit.

Fate- Beloved by some, slandered by many, Fate is a war horse. Long strawberry blonde hair that cascades down in loose curls, hazel green eyes that seem to hold the rainbow, adorable pixie nose, lightly tanned skin, around 5’9”. Fate is bitterly misunderstood most of the time. She’s incredibly regal in her wardrobe (much like Time and very much unlike Death) and is always wearing a golden laurel and ivory robes embroidered with golden threads and embellished with pastel shades of pink, green, and lavender. If she ever has time to herself to dress more casually, she’d be in thermal long sleeves and pea coats, nice jeans, and some comfortable booties with at least a 3” heel.

Time- Stern and focused, Time is on a schedule down to the second, so you best not be late. Long white hair and beard (that was once a golden blonde), green eyes and thin rectangular spectacles, a rather bulbous nose, papery white skin, around 6’1”. Time is ridiculously punctual and hates when others miss appointments. While he likes to come off as the cheery old man, he isn’t a force to be reckoned with. He always wears beautiful royal blue robes that sweep the floor. If he ever had a sense of casual wear, it would probably be flannel pj pants, a matching button down, and a night robe and matching night cap.

Claudia- Strong and supportive, she’s a force of nature that knows her boys rely on her. Dark curly brown hair, dark brown eyes, slight crows feet (from all the laughter and joy her boys bring her), full lips, round nose, tanned skin, around 5’3”. After losing her husband, Claudia took it upon herself to raise her three boys. She loves practical clothing that’s simple and comfortable such as jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes. She loves a good necklace or two and bracelets like bangles that jingle. She loves prints and every once in a while she’ll throw on a nice bohemian styled shirt with bell sleeves just to watch the movement of the fabric. Claudia’s about 50 at this point in time.

Ellis- Resilient and sure, Desmond’s oldest brother—and sometimes the most bull headed—Ellis is relatively level headed, but he’s also a teenager in adolescence. Wavy light brown hair, hazel green eyes, strong jawline, rather pointed nose, fairer than his mother and other two brothers—he heavily resembles his father, around 6’0”. He’s about 18 at this point in time and believes that he’s in love with a girl he’s only been going out with for a month. He won’t listen to Desmond’s words simply because he’s younger and “doesn’t understand”. He does love his mother and brothers with his whole being, he’s just stubborn at this age. Ellis is big on playing sports but also loves music and playing the ukulele. Loves being comfortable (like his mother) and prefers jeans, simple t-shirts, and Converse.

Finnegan- Incredibly loyal and understanding, Desmond’s younger brother Finny is the quiet pillar of strength that keeps everyone in the house together. Rusty brown hair that’s nearly untamable (always looks like styled bedhead but is actually just real bedhead), light brown eyes, round nose, round pink cheeks, the lucky kid with freckles, around 5’5”. He’s around 12 at this point in time and is already a freshman in high school as he is very diligent with his studies and skipped a grade in elementary. He tutors others in his classes and many of his peers and even upper class men adore him. He’s easy to talk to, highly intelligent and incredibly oblivious to girls and their intentions. He’s practical and calculated but still incredibly sweet. He tries to offer advice, but is sometimes more forward than most others are used to. He loves a good pair of khakis or a nice pressed pair of jeans and loves a good printed shortsleeved button down and loves his Converse. Finny isn’t afraid of hand-me-downs from his brothers, he just likes keeping his crisp and clean style if he has the choice.

[artkaninchenbau]

I wanted to make like... a “master post” of all the dreams I’ve had of my cat so far this year so here I am. As of April 4th I’ve written in detail about 9 different dreams I’ve had, most of which have been about my little sunshine

First dream, I can’t quite remember when I saw this one, I think it was sometime around early/mid-January. Don’t wanna talk about too much because even as far as my dreams go it was a bit too messed up.    I was in a dark forest that looked like it had dropped straight out of a B*rton movie, dead trees, nothing alive around, lots of hills, everything’s grey, it’s night etc. There was a convenience store in the forest (it may have been right next to a road, can’t quite remember), and I was there in a group of people. I can’t quite remember what happened during the dream, all I remember is finding out some messed up bastard... well, let’s just say ‘assaulted' my cat, and I was running through the forest, trying to find that fucker to absolutely murder him for what he did to my baby    Like I said, don’t even wanna really remember this dream, it was a bit much even when I didn’t see anything happen in it. But I do feel like it’s worth mentioning that the dream had this... general feel that all my dreams have to them, feeling very surreal (while vivid) and dream-like

On February 14th according to my Twitter I had my second dream. This one was post-diagnosis for my cat, and it was the second last time he came to sleep in my bed (with me). And yes, I do feel like that’s worth mentioning; my cat was sleeping in my bed when I had this dream, right against my legs.    I did see some other dreams before this last one but I can’t remember any of them. In the last dream, my indoors-only cat had escaped outside, so me and my parents all freaked out and rushed outside to get him back. (IDK if it’s worth mentioning but the architecture of our house was a bit wrong)    I was kind of standing in the middle of the yard, watching as my parents ran from one end of the yard to the other on the right side of the house, and as they ran by I spotted my cat hiding in the wheat field. When I spotted him he jumped out and started running to the left side of the yard, before laying down under some birch trees.   The trees are right next to the road so we all kind of freaked out, worried that if he ran any further he’d risk getting ran over by a car so we all ran out to him. He didn’t move at all, he was just looking at us when my parents grabbed him and we started making our way back inside. While walking across the yard I ask my mom if I can carry him and I can hear a car getting near us. My cat looked much younger and lean, and he seemed very annoyed we were taking him back inside.    I then woke up to my alarm, my cat still sleeping there. Maybe it’s just hindsight speaking because I didn’t really write anything like this when I first shared this dream on Twitter months ago, but I fear there could’ve been a hint of resentment from my cat towards him for keeping him there, locked indoors... What I did write is that I got a deep feeling of inevitablity from that dream, that soon my cat would “escape” for one last time, and when he would we’d never see him again    And this dream did feel different from my usual dreams- the difference in our house’s architecture did give it a feel of surrealism, but it was super mild compared to the usual. Like if I were to rate it on a scale from one to ten, when my usual dreams are an absolute 8 at MINIMUM, this was like a one

Arooound February 27th-28th (can’t remember) I did see a dream about a cat but it wasn’t my sunshine. I was just sleeping in my bed when I could feel a cat step on my chest before laying down. It was very chill but weird, and the cat was very light, compared to my sunshine who was very large and heavy. And while I did say my usual dreams are an 8 at minimum, this wasn’t my usual dream, but it didn’t feel as free of surrealism as the previous did. I’d give it like a 5

On the morning of March 18th I went to sleep with my cat in my parent’s bed before he’d be put down later that day (I just wanted to spend all the time he had left together with him and due to his condition it was all I could do at that point). So I climbed in to sleep with him after I took him to poop and fed him, and eventually fell asleep.    I had a dream that my sterilized cat had somehow given birth to kittens. There were a whole bunch of them in fact, all seemed to be black-and-white like him. And one of them stood out to me; a lil buddy who looked much like my sunshine, but kind of lacked the two black on its lil face- there did seem to be like small traces of black fur there, but it looked like the spots had been like, partially erased.    The dream gave me this feel that these kittens being his was important, that they were a part of him somehow and I needed to know that.    I can’t quite remember how surreal this dream felt, but from what I can remember I’d say it’d be like a 2

On March 28 I saw a bunch of dreams, one of which was like the coolest furry anime that doesn’t exist, it was surreal but very very cool. But that’s not the important dream, the important dream involved kittens.    I can’t quite remember how things transitioned into this dream, but in this one there was a bit of a horrible infestation issue in our house. There were rats living in our walls, probably all kinds of insects too, and I had accidentally let a crow of a somekind inside the house.    I then realized that a black-and-white cat inside the walls of our house had given birth to a few kittens. I never saw the face of the cat, I only saw it from behind but the fur seemed to match my sunshine’s. The kittens however didn’t, they were like real newborns, they looked like they were a week old at most and had light grey striped fur.    The kittens were just kind of falling out of a hole in the wall, and I was desperately trying to gather them to rescue them before the crow and the rats would eat the babies    I can’t remember the dream entirely so I don’t know how to rate it but I’d say it was maybe like a 4 when it comes to how surreal it was

March 29th, again, saw a bunch of weird ass dreams, very surreal (all were like a 9), but the last one is once again the most important one.    I was in our living room, the lights were turned off but it wasn’t too dark. I realized that my cat (who looked maybe a little smaller than what he was supposed to be) was laying on one of the couches and that shocked me because I knew he was dead so he shouldn’t be there.    Instinctively I to him to start pet him and there he was, like nothing was wrong. He did get up and jump down from the couch but he didn’t seem to want to leave, he just sat there, taking a pet from me.    I asked my parents if they could see him and my mom told me they couldn’t see my cat, and I swore to them he was there, worried they’d think I’m losing my mind from grief or something. And my mom just told me that maybe I am just the only person who can see him    I’d rate this dream like a 3 or a 4

Now, this isn’t my dream but the same day when I told my mom about the dream I had had the previous night she told me about the one she had seen. She had seen a dream where we were kind of giving a foster home for two kittens (a bit older, like 9 weeks or so). She was holding a grey striped cat (or like, it was laying against her shoulder), there was a dark kitten in a cardboard box that really didn’t seem to like us, and then there was a yellow striped kitten that seemed really excited to see us.

(While I’m at it, appearently sometime in late 2019 my dad had a dream where he was forced to eat cat paws. Remember how my cat lost his life due to a severly infected toe/paw (+cancer)? Yeah)

On April 3 I saw a nightmare. I was in a gray, dead forest that looked like it belonged in a Soulsborne game, and I was fighting against some stone snake monster things, moving from one area to the next carefully, trying to not aggro too many of those monsters at once ‘cause I’d get wrecked (much like in a Soulsborne game).   Then my cat showed up. He again looked a bit smaller than he was really, and a bit skinnier than what he was when he was healthy. He was slowly limping around the place, and I just. I knew he was sick and suffering badly, and I just thought I had to put him out of his misery. My weapon all this time had been like a dull butter knife, and while it had worked great against those monsters... All it did was leave like a dent in my cat’s fur. Like you could see something had pressed against it hard, but it didn’t seem to do anything, and my cat didn’t even flinch when I had tried to cut him down.    So I tried again. And again. And again and again and again, leaving dents on him but not doing anything to “help” the situation. My cat didn’t react at all to the hits he was recieving, he just continue to slowly limp along.    And the horror of the reality hit me, that as I was trying to put him out of his misery I was just hurting him more and more. So I just threw that knife away and started petting him as he flopped onto to the ground, apologizing profusely, crying and giving him kisses    It was a horrible dream and like. I’m used to my dreams being horrible but rarely are they so... like this personal? This involved with my current emotions and feelings of guilt?? It was weird    The snake monster part of the dream was like a 7-8 as far as the surrealism goes, but when it transitioned to my cat, it kind of toned down to a 5, maybe even a 3

Now, it’s April 4 and last night I saw a shit ton of weird ass fucking dreams. I can only remember four in various levels of detail and two involved my cat. In fact I think I saw like three dreams about my cat last night but between waking up multiple times and sleeping poorly I kinda forgot most of them    The first dream I can remember (that also involved my cat) involved our newish neighbors taking their dogs on a walk in our yard. This freaked me out because I was worried their dogs might dig up my cat’s grave so I went to check on them and while they were totally chill, I still somehow ended up with my cat with me. I can’t remember how I got him from his grave but I did, though his cardboard box had changed and when I looked inside, I think... I can’t quite remember but I think the cat was actually smaller and entirely black (like naturally, and looked like he was in great condition).    The only other thing I remember from this dream is that it somehow involved people going into/through a giant apartment that was in my closet, but I can’t remember how this tied to the rest... Yeah I can’t remember much about this dream. Point is, it was weird as hell, definitely an 8 on how surreal it was

The following next two dreams didn’t have anything to do with any kinda cats so I’m skipping those but the first one involved reality bending and drugs, and the second one had me fight against some Heavies inside the Retribution mission of Overwatch. They were a 10 and a 7 respectively

The last dream I saw last night... I can’t remember how the Retribution dream transitioned into this but it’s fine. I was in my bed, in my room, just sleeping, and I could tell it was a dream because some of the furniture in my room was different.    Suddenly I could feel something heavy press against the side of the end of my bed and I bolted up to sit upright to see what was there. And there was nothing, aside from an invisible force pressing very clearly down on my bed. As I felt it move from the left side of the bed to the middle/right I just realized the invisible force was my dead cat, so I just laid down like I would have when he was alive so I wouldn’t disturb him while he’d settle down to sleep.    But then I could feel him walk closer to me and start licking my face. I opened my eyes to take a look at him but still couldn’t see anything while I could feel something very clearly there, licking my face, so I figured I’d just keep my eyes closed, no reason to keep them opened, and enjoy his visit.    I could feel my cat (who felt like he was the right size in this dream) settle down and lay tightly against my right side, placing a paw over my throat and lick my cheek. I could feel his soft fur and how warm he was as I had my right arm just wrapped around him. And I was so happy. I think I opened my eyes for a split second at that point and saw his face, but kept my eyes closed for the rest of the time because I felt like it was “against the rules” or something, like I wasn’t supposed to see him    In any case, I wanted to pet him, and while I could feel his fur between my fingers I wanted to really pet him, but my body felt really stiff, like I couldn’t move. But I kept on trying anyways, slowly trying to wiggle my right arm so I could pet him, only to realize I was slowly starting to wake up. I remembered how people say that the way to “escape” sleep paralysis was to slowly wiggle yourself until you became free from it, and by the time I realized that it was too late. I was slowly waking up, and I could feel my cat slowly fade away.    My wish to pet my cat was making him disappear, but instead of despairing I just tried to enjoy what I had left. As my cat slowly faded away over the course of a minute, I just tried to enjoy his warmth and his scent, until he was finally gone, leaving nothing but my pillow where he had been, wrapped between me and my arm.    I ended up having to get out of bed because I was just crying too hard, since that was easily the best, most wonderful and beautiful dream I’ve had in my entire life. And as far as surrealism goes, it was a 0. It didn’t feel like a dream at all, it just felt like a thing that was happening, even when I knew it was a dream

[angelkurenai]

Imagine being in a relationship with Shannon and Jared having feelings for you.

“You'll all excuse me for a second-” you said breathlessly after you finished your first song with Jared, it was always such a pleasure to surprise the fans with you appearing on their concerts “I just need to greet my handsome drummer!” you said with a big grin as Jared let his hand fall from your side, you already making your way enthusiastically to his brother, not even missing a chance to break free from the younger Leto's arms.

He chuckled as he saw you giggle when the entire crowd went crazy. As much as it hurt he knew he had to force a smile on his lips. Not only because many people were watching him but also, and above all, because he had to be happy for his best friend and brother. Even if this relationship tore him apart on the inside.

“Don't you just love it when he plays the drums all sweaty and shirtless?” you said into the microphone, looking back at the crowd with a smirk and mostly the girls that were there went crazy; screaming and eliciting a blush from your boyfriend.

You giggled, turning to look at him nuzzling your nose with his as he grinned at you; already making your heart to flip flops. He didn't need to say a word to make you melt right into his arms. Said firm arms that he wrapped around you and pressed your body flushed to his, making you squeak and laugh like a teen girl. He chuckled as he pressed his lips to yours, making you still smile into the kiss that he had a hard time from deepening but still was enough to have the crowdscreaming for the two of you. You've been together for so long, you couldn't even remember, yet you had come out to the public for only a few months and he fans just didn't seem to get enough of it. Especially since you had been a great friend with Jared for quiet some time and starred in many movies with him.

Jared took a sip of his water, trying not to let it show how his face fell when he saw his brother kiss you with all the love he... so much wanted to shower you with. He set his bottle aside, only looking up for a second to see a serious look on Tomo's face. He tried to offer him a reassuring smile, he tried really he did, but the smile didn't reach his eyes and he knew Tomo could see right through him. Especially when it came to you, so instead he only shook his head at his friend and looked away.

How had all of this started he couldn't even remember. He had met you when in an interview on Ellen. You were there to sing and from the moment he heard you he knew he was swept away. When you'd later joined them he couldn't keep his eyes off you, but it wasn't just your voice or the looks that drew him in. The more he got to learn about you the more interested he got and he knew that he probably wasn't thinking straight but for some reason he didn't care.

He didn't miss the chance to talk to you once the interview was over – alright maybe it took him quiet a while preparing every possible conversation in his mind – but when in the very end he found the courage to speak to you he didn't regret it in the least bit. HE felt relaxed with you, the both of you fell into a comfortable conversation talking about anything and anyone. And as much as it surprised him, considering he was acting like a total shy teen in front of you, he had managed to ask you out. Time after time actually. From coffee, to dinner, to hiking and mountain climbing that as you told him you always wanted to try but were too scared. IT wasn't romantic, he hadn't made it that way and despite the small flirtycomments it as all the two of you hanging out. And that was all that mattered to Jared: to spend time with you. Being around you had become a daily thing, and something he sought after quiet often. So he did try it.

You'd even worked on a couple songs together, and were there to help him with getting into the role of the Joker when he needed you. It was easy to say that from the very first moments you spent together you weren't just his best friend... you were his soulmate. But up to then he had not made a real move, he couldn't believe it but even he felt intimidated to do something more. It was actually the first time he ever felt like that but maybe he realized it was because it was the first time he really felt this way for you.

But until then he didn't know one thing. One thing that would change everything and would probably make his entire world crumble down.

You had become so important to him that he couldn't imagine a life without you, so he decided to take it slow. He took it seriously, so he didn't flirt the way he usually did. Nor tried to win you the way he had done with numerous women before. It was all a slow burn and he wanted this to be perfect, he knew you deserved the best anyway.That plus- he was a little scared, maybe for the first time in his life but the prospect of losing you drove him insane.

If only he knew it had already happened.

He still remembered, he was at his mother's place waiting for Shannon and his girlfriend to come. He hadn't known of her existence for some time, Shannon kept it almost a secret even from him. Up to that day he didn't even have a name but as long as he knew that she made his brother happy it was enough for him. So he too was happy and content. He'd have asked you to be there with him, you had come that close, but you'd said you were busy. He didn't know what at first but the moment he opened the door and saw you there with his brother he realized exactly what.

“Jared” Tomo's voice was still heard, breaking the blue-eyed man from his trail of thoughts. He shook his head, not looking at him and preferring to look anywhere- but the oh so happy couple anyway.

“Hey kids-” he forced a smile on his lips “Either keep it PG rated or break apart, this is a concert you know.” he said through the microphone and you pulled away from your boyfriend who was chuckling at his brother's behavior.

“Look who's talking!” you exclaimed as you left Shannon and walked towards your best friend “Do you really want me to make a video of all the things you have done on stage that are not so PG rated?” you raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed, shaking his head.

“Don't think I'd want to see that no.”

“Oh of course you don't! Careful Leto, I am your best friend I know all of your dirty secrets, don't make me use them against you!” you grinned mischievously and he couldn't help the laugh as he threw an arm over your shoulders hugging you close to himself.

“I know I'm gonna regret it one day but I wouldn't have it any other way!” he kissed the top of your head as you giggled in his arms, wrapping your own around his waist. What a big lie that was.

“Yall I wish you could get yourself a Jared Leto, he's the bestest best friend anyone could ask for! Heck, I got to understand the definition of soulmate with this man!” you grinned and Jared's smile flattered for a moment. Because as much as he loved hearing it he still knew that you only meant it in a friendly way. There was no way you'd see him any different.

Or at least that's what he thought and knew.

“Aw baby that's so sweet-” he made a face, when he couldn't hide his emotions better turn it all into a joke “But not while my brother is here, maybe when it's the two of us.” he winked at you and you giggled, burying your face in his chest.

“Hey!” Shannon exclaimed behind the two of you, and later Jared huffed as the older Leto had thrown him a drumstick. You giggled and Jared let a soft laugh when he saw that luckily his brother had not realized a thing, much like everybody else and was also joking.

“Hands off lil bro!”

Jared chuckled, although this one was more forced “Shannon will probably fight me on this but- (Y/n)'s the best thing to happen to me. She is truly a blessing and I love this woman so fucking much.” he squeezed you in his arms as you gave him a big grin.

“Aw you know I love you too-” you pretended to cry “But come on, no more chick flicks!” you grinned as the crowd cheered “Let's continue this concert and give everyone the time of their lives!” you smiled widely and Jared couldn't help a smile as he kissed the top of your head, only one memory in his mind.

“You love him” he breathed out as the two of you sat on the living room but your eyes were on Shannon for some time.

Your head snapped to him, a shy smile on your face as you giggled and tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear the way you'd done the first time you two met.

“I-” you bit your lip “I really do, J. He's everything to me.” you said sincerely, pure love written all over your face as you talked about his brother.