#i think if u know me its obvious from the way ive been talking too. idk what to do.

[takami-takami]

I'm gonna do the embarassing thing and vent in the tags cuz im embarassed lol

[lokh]

ok. im genuinely ready to kill someone. you know when ur parent is like why dont you ever take initiative why do we have to tell you everything first EXCEPT literally growing up every time you did something of your own volition you Thought was right you would get chewed out because turns out it was wrong.

[mxqdii]

OMG NOW THAT U SAY THAT PLEASE WRITE A MATT OR CHRIS FIC BASED ON I CAN SEE U😻😻

i can see you - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: reader suddenly develops feelings for chris sturniolo (based off of t.s song 'i can see you')

warning(s): fluff, mutual pining, kissing.

not proofread

i've been friend's with the triplets for as long as i can remember.

but lately things have been different.

"this is bad, this is really bad alahna" i say with the phone up to my ear, ranting to my best friend

"okay calm down, it's chris, you know chris, you gotta tell him" she says and i let out a shakey breath

"alahna i-" i start but get interrupted

"y/n, you and i both know you guy's have always been something a little more than friends, its obvious, now tell him how you feel." she prys.

the call ends shortly after that, leaving me time to think about what alahna was saying.

i've never seen chris like that, right?

i've always thought of him as a friend, i just feel like now i can see him, like my eyes have been opened.

my thoughts are interrupted with my phone vibrating, seeing a text from chris.

great.

chris: yo, we're going to see a movie and you're coming, i already bought your ticket.

y/n: fine but only if you pick me up

chris: i always do princess

my eyes widen at the last message, princess?

calming myself down at that comment that got me way too flustered, i tell myself it was a joke and start getting ready for the movies.

for some reason, for the first time in forever, i put thought into what i wear.

i take the time to look good, which is odd considering it's just the triplets.

i mean, ive known them since i was 6, what's with the desire to 'dress to impress" now?

the doorbell rings and i jump

shit they're here.

i open the door with shakey hands, being met with nick, letting out a breath of relief knowing chris is in the car

a breath i didn't know i even had in.

"heyy- wait what's wrong" he asks and i groan

"don't worry about it, lets go" i say, grabbing his wrist dragging him back to the car.

"helloooo guys thank you for the ride" i say with a smile to cover up the fact that i'm dying at the sight of chris.

the car ride goes faster then expected, not much talking being done considering nick had his playlist on blast the whole ride.

nick saves me once again.

"okay me and matt will get the tickets you and chris get snacks" nick says to me.

i officially take back every good thing i've ever said about nick

"okay" i say, feeling the dryness in my throat

what the hell is wrong with me, i am too nervous around chris and i've never even felt this way before today??

what is happening.

"hey" chris says snapping me out of my trance

"hm?" i hum in response

"you're quiet, what's up?" he asks and i ponder as we wait in line.

"well, i- i don't know i've just been feeling different towards something" i try to explain and he nods in confusion

"okay.. care to explain a bit?" he pry's and i sigh

"chris i-" i start as i'm interrupted

"hello! what can i get for you two today" the concessions girl says

"a gun" i mumble and chris nudges me

"right! snacks... uh, i'll get a blue raspberry slushy" i say

"what did matt and nick want?" i ask chris and he orders for them

"then just a cherry slushy for me and that'll be all" he says smiling making my heart flutter

i reach into my purse searching for my wallet

"that's funny y/n" chris says making me look up

"what?" i ask

"you paying" he says, and i see that everythings already payed for as he pulls his card out of the machine

"chris-" i start but he interrupts

"shh, not a word" he says, putting his fingers over my lips to quiet me.

i cant help but feel my cheeks flush at the action though.

we walk back to the lobby, waiting for nick and matt

"so... what were you gonna say earlier?" he asks and i freeze

"uh, i kinda had to tell-" i start to speak but matt and nick come up to us handing us our tickets.

"i forgot! that's all" i say to chris with a smile

we walk to the movie theatre and take our seats, chris pulling our seat separator up.

"wha-" i say in confusion looking at chris and his open arms, like he's waiting for me to lay with him

i forgot this is something we do.

"cmon you don't wanna get cozy?" he says making me cringe

"ew." i say back knowing i don't mean it at all, just stalling from him being able to feel my heart racing.

the movie starts and i lay with chris feeling my clammy hands and shakey body distracting me

also chris's colonge, the sound of his heartbeat, his arm around my neck.

okay you get the point, i am going crazy.

"i-im gonna use the bathroom" i say, almost a mumble, frantically getting up and letting out a big breath of relief

i hear doors opening behind me and turn around seeing chris

it's too much- this is all just too overwhelming.

i feel tears brim at my eyes just getting worked up and just feeling overall upset

"chris no-" i say, his presence being too much

"y/n, you've been acting weird all day. i know something's up, you seem so nervous and i wanna help you but you have to tell me what's up." he talks and i snap

"i like you, okay!? and it kills me that i couldn’t do or say anything about it because i know you don't feel the same. the whole day i've been just going insane and i can't keep pretending i see you as my best friend"

i finally broke.

the tears start streaming down my face and chris looks at me in pure utter shock, making me feel worse.

"y/n-" he starts but i interrupt

"you don't have to say anything" i say and he sighs

"okay, then i'll do this." he says and cups my cheeks, kissing me passionately.

the world spins as i feel his soft lips on mine, a feeling i've been missing my whole life, one i won't ever forget.

he pulls away, smiling.

"chris-" this time he interrupts

"you don't have to say anything" he says, teasingly, as he kisses me again.

i think this whole thing has opened my eyes in a way they never would've originally been opened, seeing chris like this, it's something i needed, something i longed for and now i know that it's not just me.

chris can see me too.

[neurodivenport]

SIR! SIR! imma need you to be writing more nsfw chase fics! i have no shame. i need more. im on my hands and knees. credit card out and ready. i will even give you scenarios if you need some. im begging, crying, screaming, wailing, salivating, barking, meowing, purring, wobbling, and all the other i-n-g-s. you're the only one that gets into it. 😩

i literally love u… here’s something thats been floating in my brain for a hot minute (that i never wrote because of lack of motiv+ive been sick ugh)

but PLEASE send me scenarios if you have any! i ALWAYS wanna write stuff for him but its just about if i have actual ideas or not

its literally nothing but porn without plot under the cut you’ve been warned (chase davenport x gn!reader)

Chase had finally come up with a way to recharge without his capsule.

He spared you the nitty gritty of it, only telling you he had changed the way his entire room worked in order for him to sleep in your (now) shared bed. You told him he didn’t have to go through all that just because you wanted to sleep next to him- but he insisted that he was just as desperate to hold you, too.

The thought of that made you feel warm.

You watch as he turns off the light, cuddled up in his own set of pajamas, which you note have a little Davenport Industries logo on the side. He squeezes in next to you, lifting the covers above his body.

“I never knew how you slept without a blanket,” You note, “It’s so cold in your room… and you were just in a glass capsule.”

“Highly flexible industry grade polymer,” Chase corrects, with the ‘I’m a genius’ smile plastered on his cute face, “And these pajamas are designed to be warmer than blankets, with adjustable settings to regulate it to human body temperatures. You can also just turn those features off completely.”

You gape at him, eyebrows furrowed tight, watching as he giggles at your expression. “God, you Davenports are so strange.”

He just hums in response, a big, dumb grin lighting up his face.

You settle in, turning around to your side. When you feel him hesitating, you grasp his hand in yours, pulling his arm to slot over your side. He pulls you in tight, spooning your form against his. You feel his face bury itself into your neck, humming, nustling itself into your skin.

“‘S really nice,” Chase says after a few beats- voice muffled with his face in your neck.

You laugh a little, squeezing his hand. “It is for me too.”

You feel him push his body closer to yours, like he’s trying to get as close as he can. His hands bunch up at your pajama shirt, legs intertwining with yours, trying to pull you closer to him.

“Mm, Chase,” You hum, “You okay?”

“Mmhm,” He says, “I just- I want to be close to you.”

“I don’t think you can get any closer than this.” You giggle.

Chase hums in response. You know how clingy he can be, how touch starved he is, constantly clinging to you like a koala or a sloth to a tree. You bet he’d hold you for the rest of his life if he could- not getting up to a single other thing.

You feel his thumb barely touching the light hint of your skin that peeks out from your scrunched shirt, feather light and shaky. He’s praying you don’t notice him taking in your smell.

You slide your leg between his, intertwining your limbs to bring him ever tighter, pulling him forward with your tangled hands. You hear him grunt as he slots against your back, before stilling behind you, lifting his head off from your neck.

“Sorry.”

You don’t understand what he’s talking about… until you feel it.

Oh.

Oh.

“Chase,” You breathe out a laugh, “It’s okay. Don’t apologize.”

“It just- it just happens.”

You can feel him trying to hover his crotch away from your ass, trying not to press his obvious hard-on against you. You two have had sex before- but since it’s still early in that stage of your relationship, his nerves are still never ending, never wanting to overstep a boundary.

You grab onto his hip, pulling him towards you to press just as tightly as he was before. He grunts at the contact, pulling his lip between his teeth.

“You don’t have to,” Chase says, ever the gentleman, voice laced with tensity.

“Chasey,” You breathe, knowing full well what any pet name does to him, “I like making you feel good.”

He lets out a long trembling breath at that. He stays silent for a minute, clearly contemplating something, the cogs in his brain practically audible.

“Can I, uh,” Chase stutters, fidgeting with your shirt. “Can I just… do this…?”

You feel him grind against your ass experimentally. That makes you moan, shifting it back against him, reveling in the soft, barely noticeable noise he makes.

“Go ahead, baby,” You encourage. “Get yourself off for me.”

That makes him whine, burying his face back into your neck. He can never get used to your vulgarity.

Chase’s hips start moving, softly humping against you. You hold his hips in aid, guiding him with more determined strokes.

“That feel good?” You ask. He moans softly, nodding his head.

His movements get faster as he adds more pressure, his hand gliding up your stomach. Sensing his hestiance, you grab his hand and place it on your chest, feeling him pinch a nipple from over your shirt.

“I’m-“ He starts, cutting himself off with a groan, “I’m close- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, baby, you’re doing such a good job for me. You deserve it. Let yourself go.”

Chase’s whines amp up in volume, getting more and more frequent while his thrusts lose their rhythm. He’s trying to muffle his sounds into your skin, embarrassed by how much he’s enjoying this.

With a final groan, he stills, legs twitching as you feel his pants dampen.

He’s panting as he comes down, barely moving. You reach back to pet his hair, turning and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. “Was that good?”

He hums in response, still high pitched and breathy. That makes you giggle, squeezing his cheek.

As you begin to push yourself up off the bed, you feel him grab you.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just gonna get you a washcloth and new pajamas, don’t worry.”

Chase’s eyes are big and dreamy as he speaks. “I want- I want to return the favor.”

You smile, heart warming - knowing full well its not out of obligation but out of his own want.

“Can you do that in the shower?”

You’ve never seen him get up so fast.

[wassupmygays]

ummm hello I would like way more about hunger games au pls I'll take anything wheres Jimmy where's Tango wheres Scar from I will take whatever you give me I will go feral over this thank you

!!!! ok first off i just wanna say u made my day with this ask im so excited that other people r excited abt this and want to hear my explosions (also i definitely want to make individual profile posts for each tribute so this will be. sparknotes of what i have thought up so far :D) Tango - i have tango in district 3, along with mumbo. district 3 is the technology district, and with mumbos redstone contraptions and tango's decked out programming, it felt very obvious placements to me :] i dont think they were very close at all before the games. not in a bad way, just they didn't cross eachothers paths all that much (subject to change but in life series canon theyre never on the same team iirc). theyre cordial in the proceedings before the games but dont train together or plan to team up. tango, skizz, and bigb eventually ally together during the training days before the games! (aka heart foundation) Jimmy - jimmy and scar are actually from the same district, district 11! 11 is the agriculture district, and to place jimmy in this district i pulled from his ranchers and empires sheriff vibes if that makes sense. i also just know that 11 is one of the poorest districts and doesn't usually do well in the games, and we all know jimmy in these games. (i considered jimmy in 12 bc of the canary thing, but skizz and impulse r from there and i figured putting him somewhere else is fun too!) scar - as said above, scar is from district 11! i don't think he is expected to do super well in the games from the reaping, but during interviews its clear that he has the charisma to get some sponsors. i honestly haven't thought up all that much for scar yet but dw i will (he literally wins. how could i ignore him) fun fact! scar and jimmy were going to kind of team together, but during the first day of training, scott (career tribute) makes some joke to gem about how they wouldnt stand a chance if they teamed together bc of their district. jimmy let this get in his head and decided to split from scar, causing both of them to be loners at the start of the games. jimmy eventually finds martyn during the games and they ally bc of reasons (that i can get into if we want to), but scar stays relatively alone honestly most of these tributes and their district placements are pretty set in my mind, except for martyn, cleo, and bigb, who i still can't figure out where to put (if anyone has suggestions pls send them lmao). ive got some bits and plot points from the series already worked out into a hunger games universe, but a lot of it i dont! if theres any specific part of the series anyone wants to ask about, please do!! i work best when someone tells me what to brainstorm on lmao. anyways lol hope yall r liking this! i dont have any clue if it will gain any traction, but i've been thinking abt this au so much since the finale and i wanted to try and share it and talk about it with people :D pls send comments or asks abt any of it if you want to !!!

[void-chara]

My gift for the @technoblade-gift-exchange !! i was assigned to @simplepotatofarmer who asked for dsmp rivals duo. i hope you like it Loyal!

rambling about headcanons, designs, and my process and stuff under the readmore, because i wanna talk about it but dont want the post to be super long !!

i had originally planned to not have a background and then at the last second i decided to speedrun drawing one in a few hours so um. quality difference but its fine. also unrelated but im pretty sure everything about how i draw animals and anthros makes it very obvious i used to be in the warrior cats fandom lol. anyway onto the designs!!

the gold on techno is scars from the totem at the execution, which i think is a pretty common thing for techno designs. he isnt supposed to be a piglin, but rather similar species of anthropomorphic pig. also his mane and tail fluff are naturally brown but he dyes them pink ^_^ so cool !! um. i maaayyy have forgotten the crown until i was way too far into the piece to add it. haha. oops. pretend its missing because. uuh. hes in a casual outfit. "but he still has the cape" yeah its comfy. "but dream has a mask thats not casual" dream is dream he does Not relax fully ever. see entirely intentional i would never make a mistake.

dream is an original shapeshifter species i came up with because i couldnt decide what i wanted him to be. i havent decided on a name for the species yet but i plan to make almost every solid-color or nearly solid color mcyt into this species. theyre mostly involuntary/unconscious shapeshifters. so like they change slowly over weeks or months to adapt to their surroundings, with little conscious control. basically i wanted him to be like five different things so i shoved them together lol, rabbit ears but in a pattern that looks like an axolotl, a cool tail, TOE BEANS tho you cant see them. this was actually the first time ive ever had a dream design im happy with so thats really nice.

i um. i made full use of my time lol, i spent a bit over a week on the lineart, another week on the coloring, and maybe a week and a half on rendering. unless i suddenly became shit at math(which is possible) that adds up to roughly the amount of time i had to work on it. im really proud of myself actually since i usually take a while to do art, and i wasnt sure i would be able to make something id be happy with in this amount of time. but i did! woah!! this was my first time participating in a fandom gift exchange and it was so fun, and also helped motivate me to draw more instead of getting distracted like i usually do (classic adhd moment) lol. anyway super cool!!

Loyal if u decided to read all this for some reason then again i really hope u like it!! u are so cool and i really love ur rivals duo opinions and creations so i hope u like this! i know theres been shit happening lately, i hope ur doing ok!!

[stevie-petey]

hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH

(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)

i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!

enjoy <3

"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.

jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.

"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.

steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."

jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."

"i dont believe you."

"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."

steve stares at you, shocked.

"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."

"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."

"i did."

during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.

"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"

"yeah." you both say at the same time.

steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.

"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."

jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."

"im right here, you know."

steve winces. "sorry."

"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."

jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.

shes too good.

you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.

now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.

the kindness is yours, no one elses.

and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.

you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."

jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."

steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."

"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.

its all you could ask for.

even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."

and its enough.

[lyss-sketchbox]

if u saw the new trailer whats ur opinion?

im very excited for skirk,,,,

OH BUDDY YOUVE OPENED THE FLOODGATES CUZ IVE BEEN SPAMMING MY FRIEND WITH THEORIES LIKE HFJDJDJDJ I WAS SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME

Obvious spoilers for the fontaine archon quest in general for my thoughts and interpretations

Okay FIRST OF ALL NEUVI SENTENCING FURINA TO DEATH.

Okay so refer to what neuvi said at the end of Act 4 where 'all sovereigns are not im full dragonhood and it can only happen IF THEIR ARCHON DISAPPEARS'. I was hoping that Furina would somehow relinquish the gnosis or her godhood to Neuvi to let him be full dragonhood and stop the flood and WELL THIS LINES UP.

1) arlecchino did say furina was not archon like or has something wrong with her, 2) her playable character model HAS A VISION!!!!!!! 3) Iirc but her promo art, the one with the white bg with nation symbols on it, people say that it didnt have the symbols an archon would.

She's DEFINITELY losing her godhood here somehow and man. MAN IM SO EXCITED TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT

Second of all FURINA or should i say the HYDRO ARCHON as a whole

She sounded MAD when she stated she wanted to use her own trial to show the world the true meaning of justice. This leads me to believe that focalors DOES have some sort of multiple sides/personalities to her. Especially with her announcing HER OWN TRIAL through the 3rd person.

And well one of these sides is either Egeria's manifestation or furinas actual 'TRUE lady justice' side. A bit of a stretch but one of the official art in the livestream is multiple depictions of furina so it can be a lil nudge ya know.

NEUVILLETTE!!!! NEUVI NEUVI NEUVI!!!

MAN ID KILL TO SEE THIS MAN IN ACTION FULLY ANIMATED, LET HIM BE FULL DRAGON AND KICK ASS!!!!! IM BEGGING YOU HOYOVERSE LET HIM BE MORE AWESOME!!!!

Okay this man definitely was acquainted to Egeria in some way and this extends to Furina as well (BECAUSE HE LOOKS SO SAD LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO CRACK THIS MANS FACADE). I like to believe that Egeria and Neuvi might have a sort of Mentor/mentee/passing of the torch relationship. Because in so far everytime we hear Egeria, she talks to neuvi as if to hope that he will learn to understand humanity or learn his purpose or find SOMETHING (i forgot exactly what she says). But yeah he clearly holds her to high regard and that sentiment might extend to furina either because Egeria entrusted Neuvi with Furina, his loyalty to Egeria and Fontaine, or Furina just reminded him of Egeria and regardless of the trial still didn't want harm to come to his archon.

Okay a step back, we know that neuvi has holes about his past when he came to the world as the sovereign successor. And his line (i think its his idk) 'i seem to remember now... this trial is...' could be a call back of something Egeria told him from the past.

I firmly believe that this prophecy was actually a trial for NEUVILLETTE and not FURINA. It could be a final trial for him and his understanding of his position as chief justice and humanity. WHICH would tie into Egeria's line

and neuvi's line

Finally the GNOSIS

Okay the most obvious place is in the Oratrice. I feel like because Egeria isn't truly dead (from the who Amrita thing), it's possible that she lives in the Oratrice where she guides Neuvi and Furina. That's why it seems like it has its own conciousness and agenda. It's why it falsely accused Childe (and presumably Furina too). It might be why neuvi i think says this.

Anyways theres NO WAY the gnosis is staying in the oratrice lmao. There's bound to be a power transfer, the oratrice might be dead or dismantled because of its previous 'wrong' accusation for childe. And well im very much hoping it goes to Neuvi where he'll finally have his own meaning of Justice and no longer needs the assistance of the Oratrice to make judgements

I dont have much to say about Skirk, im most certainly looking forward to skirk childe interaction. Im guessing shes there at the abyss side either for the Narssizkruenz (fack spelling) ordo relation or well.. the gnosis. Im taking a random guess that she and the abyss might take away the gnosis to prevent celestia from descending early because fontaine is giving back the power they stole from a sovereign back to him.

ANYWAYS IM HYPED IM SO INSANE WAAAAAAAAAA

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HII GM!!! i hope u had good worming time ehehe :3 anyway. now that you've spent some time w/ the undersiders & met a lot of the brockton bay wards & some of new wave + the prt!! i wanna hear ur thoughts on them in general + the world so far if u have any!! & also ur thoughts on like.... how powers happen & brian and taylor's origin stories etc if thats also something you've been thinking abt!! eyes emoji eyes emoji..

i am having SO much fun w worm. physically making myself put down my phone and walk away so i stop reading and do the productive things i promised myself i would do this weekend.

I AM SO. WARY. OF THE WARDS. I DONT TRUST THEM. its rlly cool 2 me that they all have powers that i myself would consider like. Bad or Scary. the emotion manipulation thing, the literal warping of time and space etc those are all things that i would be like. this feels overpowered to the point that i almost expect it more from a villain character to build dramatic tension. which. i guess in the meta sense still works bc theyre being set up as antagonists rn but you know what i mean!!!!!

i fully think we've reached the point where taylor is in way too deep to the extent that changing anything now would end horribly bad for her on both sides. shes still holding onto this thought that shes gonna have this dramatic reveal where she puts the villains in jail and the heroes welcome her with open arms. but after that conversation with armsmaster thats just !!!!!!! not going to fucking happen!!! it doesnt work like that!!! also there keep being these little sidebars and moments where she admits to herself that shes excited about villain work or like..a chance to hang out with her new friends. girl you are not going to join the protectorate i can see right thriugh your dumbass.

<< side note on all of this i have a little bit of a theory for this. i think tattletale probably. knows. she joined with the intention of betraying them eventually. im still sort offff kind of unclear as to the extent of lisas powers and how they work but at this point i dont know how she couldve possibly missed that huge elephant other than the possibility that she is intentionally ignoring it.

ANYWAY. IVE STRAYED FROM YOUR ACTUAL QUESTION IM SORRY I JUST LIKE THE UNDERSIDERS A LOT. i have a lot of thoughts on the meta of the story and the role reversal of "villains good heroes bad" that i know some cape media does sometimes and im not exactly sure jf thats what worm is going for but i AM AWARE OF IT . and i think that is playing a little bit of why i am biased like this. but this is not to say i dont like the heroes i wan 2 know everything about them. however i dont trust them. SUPER interested in what Amy's got going on w her dad and the fact that she fucking turned off taylors powers????? despite saying she wasnt gonna mess with brain stuff?????? i think amys gonna get rlly fucked up about something pretty soon. i could see her snapping and turning into some crazy supervillain esp in the last interlude where she talked about how much pressure she and others put on herself w healing everything and everyone.

uhhhhhhh what else. hey powers coming from trauma is pretty fucked up huh!!!!! u know whats rlly funny is like. i sort of expected it to be somethinf bad like that but i was also wasnt expecting the angle that like. the powers are unrelated to whatever the event was??????? like im sure u could find ways to connect each of their powers to their trigger event but its not ljke. obvious ?? i guess?? like taylor wasnt bittem by a radioactive bug that gave her bug controlling powers u know??? im rlly rlly excited 2 learn abt more characters trogger events just to like. expand the data pool and see if yhere is a correlation between the power that they get and the event that happens. or if the power theyre born with the potential of having is just set in stone or whatever. does that makr ANY sense

[freakurodani]

top 5 haikyuu moments !! (can be particular scenes or episodes or arcs) :D

OKAY!!! so i had to gather visuals for this one bc i have many feelings about this!! I went for scenes that no matter how many times i watch, they never lose their magic for me, no matter that i know theyre coming, it still takes my breath away and makes me roll around with delight, these most of these i feel like are probably pretty obvious ones, they were meant to be impactful but ough, if they dont tear me up in the best way

SO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1.

I mean, what can i say??? what IS there to say?? theyve been teammates for a few weeks at this point, but hinata has given all his trust to kageyama and in turn, kageyama promised to use it to its full potential. its also a promise for their rivalry!! like, okay okay okay think about it, with the context we have with Kazuyo, kageyama has *already* decided that hinata is going to be his someone better! he sees it innately and he wants to draw it out of him, and he's, hes trying to be *hinatas* someone better too!! do u understand *shakes you* do u see what i mean!!! i mean, im sure u do, im definitely not the first person to go insane about this and ppl have probably also said it in a way thats smarter than me but just, ough

2.

its,,,, its,,, the acceptance of it all,,, i just think about how *alone* kageyama must have felt after his grandfather passed, we see and know that hes not good at connecting with people. hes bad at communicating and hes sensitive and he's scared of getting complacent. like, the all youth camp arc and atsumu calling him a goody-two-shoes is kageyama struggling with how he is changing, how hes trying to incorporate the influences he's gotten from his betters, and he cherishes it, but he's also felt like the advice he'd been given didn't also mesh with certain parts of himself. or, thats how i read into it, anyway. he tries so *hard* to be what ppl need him to be, and he's *so scared* of being rejected again. and this is hinata (and the rest of karasuno) telling him "HEY! we like you! we think you're smart and you dont have to shoulder connection all on your own! let us help you connect with us in a way where you feel comfy too :)" and then they talk about how they want communication! and it works!! and i just *rips into a pillow with my teeth*

3.

HINATA'S PERFECT RECEIVE!!!!! so the inarizaki match is probably my favorite?? there are so many good moments but *this?* you wanna see me go insane? do you want smth thatll make me tear up? every time!! its just!!! a beautiful culmination of all of hinatas hard work that he's put into during the year! its his change of mindset! its his growth!! he's fallen a level deeper in love with volleyball and ive fallen a level deeper in love with his character

4.

halo around the moon <3 Tsukki's block, his hard work, his character arc and development and everything is just *chefs kiss*. i remember the first time i watched the show, i,, *hated* tsukishima, and i think we definitely arent supposed to like him at first, but GOD does that turn around!! and this moment just feels so *earned* and *epic* and in the end HE STILL ISNT SATISFIED!!!!! he STILL wanted more!!! this point was worth 100 god fucking damn!!

5.

im talking about the inarizaki match again!! but this time with a focus on Tanaka, who kind of struggled with this match! he was in a low place during it, felt stagnated and lame. Tanaka, as a character, i would say is best characterized by his mental fortitude and stability, funny enough. He's wild, but i think part of his visual design lends that as his base (since he's often compared to buddhas/monks). But in this match, we get more depth, we see him falter and struggle! it takes more than just a slap to his cheeks to get better (tho tsukishima does point out that he gets out of his depression pretty fast) but like, tanaka uses meaningful cognition to break his rut, and its also just like, advice that I've seen used for stuff like any kind of creative block as well. The visual during the animation, he's climbing up the stairs, he's slowing down, he's coming face to face with a canyon, a plateau. He sees two options, give in, or push forward and he picks "the cooler" one, and struggles forward, forces himself ahead! and kageyama backs him up too, by not letting him back down, assuring him that his usefulness hasnt reached its end and AUGH I LOVE A TEAM YALL

okay thank u so much for the excuse to ramble about haikyuu moments that mean everything to me <33333

[jackienautism]

I just saw that post about your thoughts on the counselors and I'm curious, have there been any major changes since then?

i just skimmed the post youre talking abt (i write a lot huh) but honestly? i haven't had TOO many major changes since. JUST REALIZED ITS COMING UP TO AYEAR SINCE I POSTED IT IN MAY? THATS SO CRAZY TO ME WTF but anyway

nvm ill read through exactly what i said. the post is here btw

dylan: still pretty much the same opinion as back then LMAO i did have a more recent convo abt dylan (which def changed some thoughts abt him. esp related to his potential adhd and lack of a filter) but i stilll don't like him, sorry

nick: same thoughts as before honestly. i still think he doesn't deserve abi in the slightest. and his involvement w/ emma's dare still makes me very upset, ESP when the fanbase refuses to acknowledge his involvement in it lol. i dont doubt that racism comes into play w/ nick and his whole lack of a story and such, but i jut. i cant stand him

jacob: i take back the flip flop thing btw. i lowkey cant stand him. but to be honest:? ive gotten WAAAY less tolerant of male characters in general lately. and jacob is not exempt from this lol. i have yet to play TQ again (it's been quite a bit) but! maybe after we play tonight things will change. ill prob rb again if things do

ryan: HOWEVER. DO YOU KNOW /IS/ EXEMPT FROM MY "I HATE ALL MALE CHARACTERS" MINDSET? RYAN ERZAHLER. 100%. i love him lots and ppl r very mean to him fo r no reason. i talked abt this briefly in my angourie!cady post but just. when characters show certain autistic traits that YOU ALL cant deal w/ or understand, suddenly theyre a shitty person? they don't care abt their friends? theyre boring? KILLS YOU

max: he also is a pretty respectable guy to me i love you max. but as i said originally. i dont rly think abt him much

emma: she def had the biggest shift for me while playing the game for the first time!!!!! but in terms of like. if anything changed from when i wrote the original note? i dont rly think so tbh. reread waht i wrot eback then it rly makes it seem like i hate her 😭😭😭😭😭 I PROMISE I DONT..... I ACTUALLY LOVE HER SO MUCH...... SHE MEANS A LOT TO ME....... i just cant stand how she acts towards abi sometimes. def my biggest criticism of her. but at the same time. i understand WHY she acts the way she does. she means sooo muchto me. and esp seeing all your talk abt autistic emma? i just think that makes sooo much sense fo rher.and i LOVE it so much

kaitlyn: i dont even feel lik e going throuhg it all but. i feel like she may have gotten a little lower since i wrote that post? just bc i tjhink toooo many ppl think shes better than she actually is bc of her association w/ dylan? it pisses me off sooooo bad. and ive made posts abt this before but like. her character in general still aggravates me 😭 and i DO still stand by what i said in that og post. theres jsut... shes not that complex sorry guys. esp compared to EMILY? lLIKE. i know its unfair to compare the 2 but its pretty damn obvious that thye were going for another emily in kaitlyn lmao and they FAILED. MISERABLY

abi: oh.. abi oh abi i love you. i still hold her so close to me. she is so me for real (beats anyone up who says tjhat she's Them) i mean who said that

laura: LOVE U LAURA!!!!!!!!! i still dont have like TOO many in depth thouhgts abt her but just. know ever since i began roleplaying as her shes become THAT much more beloved and :] i love you girl

THAJK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS IN!!!! AND SORRY FOR TAKING A BIT TO ANSWER

[nevarroes]

i refuse to send these thoughts separately:

who would cas main in league, he wouldnt play isnt an answer the mans gender is at least 25% calling people slurs on mic

okay but what if what if um 🥺👉👈 someone wanted to write a thing but they were super anxious about getting cas’s voice right in part because by the nature of how you share your creative concepts the only solid vibe they get is Doesnt Talk A Lot, When He Does Its 90% Weird Rude Mean Shit, hence the cesare big top burger comparison

and fuckin um i forget if ive ever asked, i mostly process cas’s fuckedupedness through a lens of npd, but am more familar with bpd because my own brain garbage is a bit of both and having had many loved ones with bpd, does cas ever fully freak the fuck out in an insecure attachment way trying to make gortash Go Away or trying to leave himself(but coming back generally), might characterize that Oh No Hes Going To Die leaves forever cant handle loss unless he “choses” it meltdown in a similar menthol eelnessTM vein

i especially love thinking about cas being extremely insecure because reality will never live up to his delusions of self importance perfection and grandeur because fun fact :^) a side affect of those thought patterns is constant disappointment in a reality of self that can never meet those expectations :^^^)

casim “i AM perfect or ill DIE” carnavorn

honestly "Doesnt Talk A Lot, When He Does Its 90% Weird Rude Mean Shit" is pretty on point here😭😭 I used to say like everyone desires him and then he opens his mouth and theyre like "hmmm yeah idk if this one's worth it chief". Like he has no filter at all but it isn't like he doesn't do it on purpose it's more like he goes out of his way to make sure everyone leaves in a worse mood than before, if that makes sense? Gortash would join in though honestly.... type of situation where Gortash tries to introduce them to some noble family on a party and Cas just drops that some poor girl looks like a fat cow (see this is funnier considering that he stands next to Gortash but ain't nobody gonna say that back) 🙏

aside from that though like.... in private? I suppose this may be more of a tone thing and I'm a VERY mid writer so I couldn't even tell you how I'd show this of the top of my head but I suppose he's more... clearly affectionately teasing? because yeah he obviously stays teasing and calls him a fat bastard in private still and such but it's very obvious if you look at them for a second that it's like a far cry from how he treats everyone else (smth smth his gaze very clearly softens and he allows himself to giggle and you can tell that they have been knowing each other for a long time)

okay sorry im YAPPING but ! ....If you want to write something I'd be over the fucking moon either way honestly like??😭 tbh I think you sound like you get him a lot already but also let me just say additionally... I see Cas as a character that's pretty flexible anyways because he erm... he has mood swings but also doesn't really have smth I'd consider a set speech pattern or something that he needs to sound in character?

anyways concerning the npd/bpd thing I never quite drew a line for him or anything to put him more into one camp but. I mean yeah based on the dying of old age scenario... LMFAOO but also yeah he does. Cas is the type of person that will literally leave the city for months or lock himself in and try to "become a new person" (he literally has moment where he's like "maybe I should just become who Bhaal wants me to be. maybe it would be easier") if there's some dispute with Gortash. It usually ends with Gortash forcing him to meet him again and Cas being something along the lines of "oh my fucking god can I just stop loving you already" but yeagh u know the fact that Gortash is kinda the only person he ever liked or even saw as a friend just makes it worse tbh

and the insecurities/delusions thing? yeah exactly what you said. a lot of his insecurities are insane too tbh like "I can never be what everyone desires" but then he loses it if he's NOT what someone desires, Gortash saying smth along the lines of "I like women too" would be enough to make him walk off a ledge because he can't be that part (smth smth I can be most perfect man on the planes but I'll never be a woman. funnier when u know he could use incubus illusion magic but he refused to his whole life). But anyways yeah as I said once Cas is like... a DEEPLY insecure person at his core even if he'd never admit or think that it shows

anyways after this analysis... Cas plays adc and shits on every support he plays with💯 He mains aphelios because he wants to look at a man but also because he thinks he's better than anyone else for playing a complex champ... hope u see my vison

[nonranghaes]

your sweet svt drabbles are such an inspiration to me. I've been getting into writing fics slowly by writing just short ones off a single scenario, and i have too many prompts and ideas coming from my head (which is great !) that i already had laid out but i just couldn't find thee tempo to start. Soo I'm trying to get more inspo by reading around tumblr and to my luck i landed here! i found your writing style an exemplar to how i wanted to write (bonus if you'd like to give some writing tips? 🥹). Your drabbles looked effortlessly written, they're simple yet so expressive and visually evocative. Reading them makes me feel like it's easy to just get the idea off my head and picture it in words OK I'LL STOP HASJB it's literally midnight o clock (when the strong urge to give one of my prompts a shot kicks in)

aaaaaAAA AND IF I START CRYIN????

honestly i dont rly know if i have any solid writing tips haha i like reading a lot since it can teach me a lot abt what i like in writing and what i dislike!! + reading helps u pick up on how other ppl describe things and how their writing flow. idk if that makes sense though. like... book i just finished (a death in tokyo) is very to the point and practical with its writing. it was written in a way that i could clearly envision a lot of things and my mind would fill in the holes since its set in a real world setting. other stuff i read might take care in describing things in more detail, but reading higashino's work kinda made me understand further how just plainly stating things can have its own power and paint a picture just as well--just depends on what you're writing and what kind of vibe it should have, yknow?

like. i wouldn't expect a thriller to have the same writing flow as a romance novel, but the gritty details can still have importance depending on what the topic is. little things like that. genuinely, imo, the best writers are those who read a lot and my advice is rly just to kinda read everything u feel safe w reading!!!

also i think ive said this a lot on wooahaes but ive also been writing since i was like. 11. if not younger lol so ive had a looooootta time to practice and refine and get to where i am now and i'll still be improving into the future hopefully!!!

other than that... hmm...

i'll admit this one isn't something everyone can do (and obvs no shame to ppl who can't!) but i always try to envision the space i'm writing and the people within it.

i think for me personally, i care a lot about the physicality of whoever i'm writing? if they're nervous, are they acting shifty? are they wringing their hands? is this a situation they want to get out of, or are they nervous because they're kinda excited for what's to come? how are they vocally, too? are they the kind of person who rambles when they're nervous, or do they get really quiet? is it obvious, or will it seem normal if they're quiet/chatty?

like... with the mark lee drabble where he's nervously dragging out the question of "what if we kissed?" it was kinda important to me to just kinda have him dragging it out because once he says it, there's no way to take it back, and once he says it, the nerves take over in a "and now i must ramble, lets talk about anything but what i just said, so the aquarium-" where even though we don't SEE mark, we still can tell he's a nervous wreck over it all. its little things like that that just kinda stick out to me?

mmm but for my drabbles specifically... i think i kinda function off the fact that i'm not writing an actual fic here? if i wanted to write something longer, i'd put it on wooahaes (and sometimes i do! i've had a couple fics now i was gonna just post as a drabble but then they kinda ran away from me). i've deleted parts of drabbles before because i felt like they were getting too irrelevant. the point of a drabble, to me personally, is to just kinda give somewhat a quick snapshot of a moment. i think my stuff usually takes place in a single place as far i can remember, because changing scenes makes it feel like a bigger thing (barring stuff where there was a short flashback).

i think it can help to have an idea of what you want to capture if you're writing a short drabble. reader/seungkwan caring for one another, minho teasing reader over the cats, reader trying to get one over on joshua (ft seungkwan). occasionally the more fantasy-ish stuff is like "merfolk reader in love w jisung" and "merfolk reader saving minho" or "android!shua being saved from the facility by reader" comes to me, too. i just kinda write purely by vibes and what i wanna write. idk if this helps but i usually do try to have some idea of what exactly i wanna do!! the times i have opened a post and closed it again bc i had nothing..................................... yeah

(obvs no shame in those moments ksdhfds i just always end up sitting there like. what was i doing again.)

ummm idk what else to say!! i can always try to give advice on other stuff if u ever have specific questions but this is all ive got rn <3 good luck!!!!! i believe in u!!!!!!!!

[kasaneteto]

ok seeking advice on the roommate situation (anon if u wanna come back….pls do)

probably obvious for anyone who’s been keeping up with these roommate posts from me but he and i are just totally incompatible as roommates. ive come to realize that he’s a friend i really should only he seeing every once in a while and being around him so often is super draining for me. not even talking about the fact that he cant clean or pick up after himself (which has gotten worse again btw) but just the way he is to be around like i cant have a conversation with him because it exhausts me. so heres where i need some advice, preferably from someone who’s been in a similar situation before but I’ll take whatever i can get. how/when should i tell him i don’t wanna be his roommate anymore?? i dont want to sign another lease with him so i know i need to tell him before it get to be close to august but im not sure if now is like. too soon or if its a sooner-the-better type deal yknow. cause i do think i’ll end up being the one to stay in this apartment as ive already found people to replace him… plus i have the two cats. idk. i hope he doesnt expect me to move out and try to find a new place cause thats gonna make things really awkward. anyways how should i approach this lol

tl;dr idk how to tell my roommate that i cant live with him anymore. should i tell him now? the lease renewal is in August. pls tell me what i should do lol

[mifhortunach]

2023 'overview'

The standard end of year post of course!

This year has both breezed by and felt absolutely endless, personally at least, and i feel like i accomplished nothing(!), but still, here's a round up of some stuff i enjoyed!?

MOVIES: as ever as always! I'm writing this a bit in advance, but i've deffo seen less movies this year than i did last year, tho i believe that i did manage to get out to the cinema way more than usual (tho, tbh, most often on my lonesome i think). I think i've felt the most divided on them this year; i liked a lot of stuff very VERY much! i also have felt so SO bored with a lot more things. i think i talked about having like. a matrix moment last year, nothing like that this year, tho a lot more of being like, 'well yeah, of course', or finally being able to recognise what a shot is, lol. Regardless, here are the movies i probably loved the most this year:

aftersun: all i talked about jan thru feb, need to watch it again. it looks great, its both fun & heartbreaking, and you KNOW i love the found footage side of it all - especially when it addresses that even when you have footage of 'objective reality' you just really cant know it all operation avalanche: as w aftersun, this shit gets at like ALL my interests! OpAv isn't a perfect movie, and i think the more u know about the production/etc the more obvious that becomes [i genuinely WOULD love to see/know more about the version that really did have the mole/romance plotline integrated, but lbr, that doesnt really exist]. ANYWAY!! i do think this is such an exciting film to watch, especially the movie making sequences, and i think the feeling of it all comes across so truly iygm. also, obvs, bc i love conspiracies unfortch the dirties: im sorry there's so much MJ on this list, short tho it is! but hey, these really took over my life for a month there lol. i still havent listened to the commentary w the real film critic, but i truly find this to be an airtight movie, the found footage stuff is so well integrated, justifying everything while also calling all intent/'reality' into question.. i do think someone could spend forever with it - its also funny & miserable! what more could u want (watch my fancam please) my house walkthrough: i genuinely just really like this!! ive said it before, but i genuinely just find it such an exciting watch, the bts just makes it so much cooler - what's sicker than repetition Hon Noms: la confidential: heat walked so this could run ! thirst: so much fun, i love vampire lovers who hate each other beau is afraid: too long, but i really liked most of this, v funny black tower: great example of doing smth so cool w very little

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

books:

francis spufford, new sun series, chandler, mauretania

PODCASTS:

sfultra!!!: sean L@TDF finally returns to talk about sci-fi books! sean is one of the few critics i'll always keep up with even when i dont agree w him, & this show has been a real treat all this year - the patreon stuff is great as well - its introduced me to a lot of new stuff & crit, and its been good to hear from him again. if u listen to any of these, listen to this shelved by genre: really good, tho often we have different interests - got me to read a fair few more books this year! im not a games guy, and im mad behind on fatt, so its super nice to get to hear some austin biweekly anyway, lol. twioat (as ever): i was a bit trepidatious about this season starting off, but it's been so much fun, the fellas really knocked it out of the park. i loved hearing from some guests that we havent heard from in ages. this season on AJLT was also fuckin amazing, truly & really adored their coverage; possibly highlight of my summer?? toxic podcast: i almost certainly shouted this out last year, but it was nice to have this around again in the top half of the year!! ale has a letterboxd now & its fun to get to see just how many truly atrocious horror movies he does watch all the time. a true connoisseur

------------------------

pick’n’mix:

ntbts: its a such good show!! i've watched more tv than usual this year, but i love how this is done on almost every level. i apologised before for having so much MJ on this list & i stand by that!, but i do think that one of the best (practical) traits in his work is making difficult stuff look not only easy, but genuinely both fun & achievable. whens the movie going to drop??? (lol) getting into shirts: this genuinely was more of an accidental year long thing, starting w the ones i printed for lizzie back in jan/feb, but its been fun! finally got back some screenprinting experience, and i think u can really see some amping up of ambition & basic skill/practice. i do wanna do more in the new year, but am trying to engage with actual intended outcomes (and lbr, the storage issue lol), so we'll see

the sopranos!!: sometimes they really were right about good tv being good, who knew! so much funnier, weirder & depressing than i wouldve expected- honestly undersung at this point. also, it introduced me to a tonne of music lol

the blackberry soundtrack: unfortch i continue to be kinda mixed on the film, as much as i think on a technical level it's so super cool & well-made. i do really like the soundtrack tho!! i'm kinda iffy on some of its application in the actual film, but im a hater, so what can u do lol. the actual thing DOES rip tho

==========

this whole thing makes it look like i got a lot more done this year than i feel like i did lol. i feel like i had plans up the top but they really all came out in the wash//

i read an okay amount of books, but failed to get thru any piles

i watched more tv than usual this year, and saw id say, a midtier amount of movies, but way more new movies than usual

i moved for a bit! then moved back & got a worse job lol

there was a lot of work i didnt get finished.. i have stuff ive been meaning to edition since this time last year that i still havent gone back to.. that said, i think i did get some stuff done, finally actually did some stone litho(!!!!) & had some stuff up in a show or two

who knows,,, maybe ill finally get my shit together & 2024 could be my year - people say good things about being 26 right??? 😭😭😭

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi. can i share something. its pretty personal...its sad but also a message of hope.

so. ive been freaking out rly bad about attending this bladee show tomorrow, august 6th. the real reason for this is not just my ocd and social anxiety but also.. last year on august 6th my really good friend died. they were going by the name saint at the time. i only knew them online but we were extremely close since around 2014. we would talk often, and in-depth, bcus we both had extensive interest in metaphysics, god, angels, etc. and we both had dead parents, specifically dead from illness, so we rly deeply related to each other on those matters. they were like 9 years older than me, so i looked up to them as an older sibling. it absolutely shattered my heart when i found out they died because i know it was an accident. i think they OD’d on fentanyl cus they had been posting about relapsing shortly b4 they died. but i dont know for sure, there’s no obituary for them since they don’t have parents or family. i have cried about it every day for a year.

when i saw what day the bladee show was, i felt a million feelings at once, like, oh my god, is this some kind of orchestrated angel event? saint had the most unwavering faith, they believed in angels more than anyone ive ever met, there was no doubt in their mind. we would talk about our synchronicities constantly. it was our fav thing to discuss. they were so validating of my experiences. so in a way, i rly feel like, their angel is escorting me to this show as some sort of gift for making it thru the past year. ive been going thru my saturn return on top of grieving their death, and idk, its just been one of the worst times in my life, ive never been closer to giving up. the timing of this show rly makes me feel like saint is blessing me. bladee, saint and I are all life path 9s who r obsessed w metaphysics n spirituality, which adds to the meaning of this synchronicity for me.

the reason ive been so terrified to attend the show is because i keep having ocd freakouts that someone is going to die or that, like, this date is evil and tainted or soemthing. like literally to the point that ive spent a few entire days this past week just crying in my bed because im so terrified of losing anyone else in my life. but as the show gets closer, i am realizing i just need to trust god and believe that im allowed to enjoy myself. believe that saint’s angel is protecting me and my loved ones, just like they have every day for the past year. they have sent me so many signs, and ive known a lot of dead people but never have i received so many obvious signs from anyone, even my own father. it makes me wonder if saint graduated the rebirth cycle, since they were a 9, and they brought so much goodness to this world. i think they graduated and are now a very powerful angel forever.

its been so hard to go on without them. they were my grief councellor fr. there were some years of my life where they were one of the only people i talked to because no one else could understand. they loved POSTING, we met on tumblr and they were always so supportive of the way i express myself. after they died was when i started drawing and posting on here again bcus i knew i had to honor them this way. i cant put into words how much their friendship impacted me and i wish i could do more, i wish i cld plaster their face onto every wall and scream from the rooftops “THATS MY FRIEND AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!”. god i am going to cry so much at the bladee show, i know they’ll b rite there on my shoulder the whole time.

if u read all this, thank you. it weighs on me massively n i try not to show it too much online but man. i have been a mess. n sometimes i just wanna spill my guts. i cld say so so much more about my dear friend but i’ll leave it at this for now. im praying that the show goes well tomorrow and everyone makes it there safely. if u guys cld pray for me too id rly appreciate. i rly feel like saint is with me and im allowed to have hope now. i love you saint. thankyou for posting so much so i have plenty to look back on. <3