#i think one thing that started with raging loop (for me) and seems to be appearing more in time loop stories i consume

[fortune-maiden]

the third route of even if Tempest feels like the third route of Raging Loop haha

(we’ll see if it also ends in the end of the world I guess lol)

[mamashenanigans]

When my head isn’t filled with “keephishandkeephishandkeephishand” on a loop, I actually think about more stuff from 407.

Someone on X pointed this out, but how wittle baby boy Yoichi is shown here…

Makes it seem like the people that AFO just killed had maybe beat him up. Of course, AFO is taking their metapowers away too, but it’s an interesting catch. And, yes, Yoichi is wearing fitted clothes while AFO walks around with something just wrapped around him.

You know how Yoichi still believed there was good in his brother because of the kindness of his “hand”?

Well, in case you missed it…

They were born apart with their hands already reaching out to each other. They are on their backs right now, so those are the same hands that are holding/being held.

This means…

AFO grabbed Yoichi and dragged him with him. What you’re seeing in that top panel is the water starting to overflow the river and rush past. AFO pulled Yoichi out of the water and on to their mother. He is also using the spike quirk for teeth and on his hand to grab onto their mother and pull them up. The bottom left panel is him biting into her dress as he pulls them out of the danger of the water. Yes, AFO saved Yoichi when they were fucking newborns. THIS is what Yoichi has a faint memory of. That was the kindness.

I know some people have been wondering if they’re fraternal or identical. This seems to suggest that they are in fact sharing the same umbilical cord. It’s rare for fraternal twins to have this. It’s crazy to think that Yoichi may have looked just like AFO if he had the same amount of nutrients. But I digress…

A very notable thing about AFO’s eyes: they are huge and creepy in feral/survivor mode. We’ve seen his eyes get like this as AFOTomura and when he goes into rage mode against All Might and now Bakugo.

Here, he is quite literally just walking down the street past the anti-meta people and presumably just heard them talk about killing metas. Once they take notice of him, he turns his head towards them and his eyes are huge like a startled animal.

He then proceeds to kill them and still has that feral look.

But now let me get to something pretty important…

We don’t see AFO actually smile until this panel

Once he has a dream of everyone living for his sake, like Yoichi, he is finally smiling. And continues to do so after this point.

Something really bothering me is that they must have named themselves including their surname. Shigaraki means “death tree” which fits in nicely as they were born “from death”. However, where did Yoichi get his name? AFO must have named him and Yoichi can mean “first gift”. So he named him that because Yoichi was QUITE LITERALLY the first thing AFO ever had. As for AFO…I don’t know if he would take the time to name himself. Yoichi only calls him big brother so he may have told Yoichi to just keep calling him that then decided to name himself after the Quirk he also named himself: All for One. Dude is really committed to the bit.

There’s one more thing I haven’t seen anyone touch on yet…

The hatred.

As you probably recall, Hawks has a talk with Best Jeanist over AFO’s lack of emotions and lack of hate. Why he has to use Tomura to get OFA.

406 explained why that is perfectly.

When he feels hatred, he is forced to remember WHEN HE WAS TOLD HE KILLED HIS BROTHER HOLY SHIT. It would also be possibly the first and only time he ever cried. Felt real grief. So, he never “feels” REAL hatred because that would mean having to confront this memory.

It’s fucking genius.

You’’re welcome.

[charmac]

Unspoken tension ahead of Charlie Work, a wound left open in Family Fight

The Production Order (the order in which the episodes are written) always seems of some value to me in Sunny, but 10 I find especially substantial. With half of the scripts of the season written by RCG, 4 are back-to-back (with their 5th one, Psycho Pete, being 2nd in order).

The run begins after The Gang Spies like U.S. Going off that into Charlie Work, as opposed to into that off Charlie Work, paints a very different narrative for the timeline.

We leave the reveal that Mac and Dennis are jerking off together into an episode that starts with high tension between Mac and Dennis. Dennis is frustrated that Mac isn't being direct, won't look him in the eyes, he's avoidant, timid. That's interesting, because Mac isn't usually any of those things, he's direct and abrupt and loud. Off 9, fully establishing Mac is gay, juxtaposing his closeted behaviour to Country Mac's openness, 10 focuses hard on the fact that Mac's confidence is continually battered as he refuses to step out of the closet. The Gang is tired of it, but Dennis is frustrated. His words maybe cut even deeper than the scratch, "Come to me like a man. Talk about being tough all the time, can't even look me in the eyes."

We leave CW and go into Family Fight, written right after, also by RCG. This episode has big focus on Dennis' obsession with public perception of himself, and the Gang. Though he can initially handle masking his demeanor, his tone of voice, what he can't mask are his words. He's smiling, he's 'joking', but there's deep truth in what he’s saying. He's frustrated, though his frustration in the moment is intended for Frank, Mac feels it directed at him. There's a fresh wound between them, because Mac fully understands what his feelings for Dennis are now, and that’s irreparably shifted their dynamic.

Misses the Boat is the last RCG-written episode of the season. From Charlie Work, where we’re kinda first faced with the fact that Mac is now overly-concerned with how Dennis perceives him, to Family Fight, where Dennis' masks slip completely and he has a public breakdown, they both veer hard to straighten themselves. Mac, very quite literally, goes straight, and Dennis resolves that he needs to cut ties to get back to being ‘cool’, he’s going to be a cool guy who has a cool car and hangs out with a babe and is cool.

But what we learn in Misses the Boat is that how they think the world views them, or should view them based on how they believe they present, isn’t who they are. They can’t actually function well in these situations. Dennis, untethered, somehow can’t control his rage as well as he can when he *is tethered* to the Gang. Mac, well, he isn’t straight, and he realises pretending to be into women is miserable.

Dennis gives him the offer: Do you want to go back? (To not addressing it, to a standstill.) And Mac quickly, excitedly takes it. Looping back to where they are in Charlie Work, back to where they settle for too long: Mac, absorbed in himself, clawing for approval from Dennis, and Dennis lashing out, tired of telling Mac what to do.

And I think this is why I love 10 more than anything, it finally addresses the issue the audience knows. With Charlie, Dee, and Frank, too. They’re going nowhere, spiraling in circles because they refuse to address the roots of their issues, and Misses the Boat makes them, themselves, fully aware of that fact. They’re miserable together, but they’re worse off alone. And they go into 11 and beyond knowing this, and all kind of resenting each other for it, until 14. Where they acknowledge it again, and decide they’re going to keep playing the game even though it’s set.

[oneatlatime]

Want to get your thoughts on something you've touched on in a couple places. A pretty popular idea in the fandom is that one of the (in-universe) reasons airbenders have gone so hard into the peace-and-love monk thing is a self-awareness that, if they didn't, there's not a whole lot anybody could realistically do about it.

Like, Southern Air Temple pretty strongly implies that Gyatso solo'd a room full of comet-roided firebenders. It killed him but he did it, and while he is a master Airbender, we're not given any real indication that he is uniquely so, right?

I have many thoughts on this! Sorry in advance for the long post! And sorry if this goes a bit off topic!

Short answer: I don't agree.

Long answer:

We've seen that nations' cultures tend to reflect their native bending styles. Or vice versa. It's probably a chicken and egg scenario. The Fire Nation chose to spread (like wildfire) and is full of hot headed, impetuous roid-rage sufferers who can't see or plan for the long term. Fire itself easily becomes ungovernable and is at best muzzled/leashed, always waiting for the next chance to bubble over in unplanned / unpredictable / generally unhelpful directions (Hi Zhao!). So an element shapes a culture shapes and element until you've got a positive feedback loop (or in the case of the Northern Water Tribe, a negative feedback ourobouros due to outside pressure). Importantly, neither culture nor element develops in isolation; I think they develop simultaneously.

The Earth Kingdom is probably the most rigid and unchanging, even when it would benefit them to change/innovate. We see rigidity and humourlessness in response to change or the unexpected (see Toph's parents) and we see an inability to let go of a bad idea, or mitigate the consequences / think on the go when things that were clearly bad ideas go bad in ways anyone with a non-earthbender brain can see coming a mile off (think The Avatar State episode). Earth digs in when it should retreat, stands solid when it should duck and weave. It is grounded to the point of stupidity (unless you're Toph or Bumi, although even Toph seems to be unbending so far). It's linear to the point of being unable to deviate from that line.

This is me guessing, but I figure since fire and water are opposites, air must be the opposite of earth, right? So while we'll never see airbending culture in a non-shrunk-down-to-one-person form, we can look at earthbending culture for its dark reflection. Well, probably not dark, but you get what I'm saying. They'll be opposites in world view. We can extrapolate.

So if earth is grounded, humourless, aggressively traditional, linear, then air must be constantly fluctuating, unchained, lighthearted, bonkers-all-over-the-place. The heaviness of earth would dictate that problems should be faced by digging in and facing them head on until the problem blinks first. The lightness of air would dictate that problems should be faced the opposite way: blinking first i.e. removing yourself from the problem entirely. The linearity of earth dictates that fights are solved by fighting - you punch me, I punch you. The non-linearity of air would seek to recontextualise a problem until it's no longer a problem because we all forgot what we were fighting about in the first place, i.e. throwing pies at it or busting out the marble trick. The heaviness of earth would cause excessive earthly attachment; the lightness of air would cause excessive detachment from worldly concerns.

To start violence is to make a statement that you wish to be involved. It's rooting yourself to a particular dispute, choosing a hill to die on. It stems from attachment. This is earthbendery behaviour (and Zuko-y, but let's not go there). To never start violence is to never invest, never dig in your feet and make a stand. To be detached. (I'm oversimplifying here.) It's clear from in-show examples that Aang's pacifism is of the "ladies don't start fights but they can finish them" variety; he's got no problem with self-defence (caveat: we have no idea how typical an air nomad Aang was). But he never attacks first that I can think of.

Violence is a very direct tool. If someone starts a fight with you, and you decide to continue it, you're choosing the most obvious action. Since when is airbending direct or obvious?

All this to say, I think that pacifism, peace and love, monkiness, etc., was more likely a natural and inevitable outgrowth of air nomad culture, caused by constant culture / element interaction, rather than a conscious choice.

So I think airbenders "have gone so hard into the peace-and-love monk thing" because the nature of their element creates a culture that discourages the traits required for effective offensive violence, and the inherent detachment and ever-changing nature of air naturally encouraged spiritual (i.e. monkly) pursuits rather than earthly ones, like whatever the conflict of the week is. I don't think self-awareness of the dangers of their element factors into it. Not to take away from Gyatso's accomplishment, but I think air is nowhere near the most dangerous element. From what I've seen so far that would be Fire or Earth, though I'd give the edge to Fire because they self-generate, and also because they've spent a largely successful century dominating the other elements. Waterbenders and earthbenders can be neutralised by taking away their element; airbenders - due to the very nature of their element - probably can't get past that initial avoid and evade instinct to become legitimate offensive threats.

As for Gyatso, I think he's an outlier. We know little about him so far, but we do know that: a) Aang says he's the best airbender (in I think the Southern Air Temple?); b) he's good enough that he was granted a statue while he was still living, learning, improving; and c) he's good enough that the monkly council (of which he is part) granted him the honour/responsibility of being the quasi-dad of the Avatar. These things tell me that Gyatso was the Spiders Georg of the Airbenders. I suspect Bumi is the same for the Earthbenders, and at least as far as the philosophy of bending is concerned, Iroh may be so for Firebenders. Even the example of Gyatso nuking the comet-enhanced firebenders is a case of defensive action in ultra extraordinary circumstances: he was staring into the teeth of a genocide while mourning the disappearance of his quasi-son and the likely loss of the world's only hope / chance at stopping the war. That's how far you have to push an airbender before they'll take a life. Unless the Avatar world pre-war is a lot more godawful than Aang has implied, airbenders probably wouldn't have been taking lives frequently enough for them to get to the point where they would have to start questioning whether they should consider pacifism.

I think what this fandom idea ultimately is, is a desire for the hidden badass trope. Everyone loves it when the most peaceful character in the story is revealed to secretly be a Rambo-level fighting badass, right? Who didn't love it when kindly grandpa Roku manifested in his temple and unleashed a volcano? But I think this trope fundamentally takes something away from the appreciation of Airbending, Air Nomad culture, and the concept of Pacifism as a whole. This is just my interpretation, but applying the "secretly the deadliest all along!" trope to airbenders undermines their commitment to pacifism and makes it performative rather than earnest. It's a cop out; an acknowledgement that violence actually is the answer, and even those head-in-the-clouds monks know to use it when the chips are down. This show goes out of its way to show that non-combatants have value and a place in this world that's worth fighting for, that fighting goes way too far pretty frequently, that non-violent solutions are valid, even preferable. It would kind of undermine that message if all of the elements were easily weaponisable.

Something I've loved so far about Avatar is the show's earnestness. There have been no Marvel-style fakeout bathos plots. I feel making airbending secretly the deadliest element or similar would be exactly that sort of thing. Can't my pacifists be peaceful not because they're secretly untouchable badasses who carry the biggest stick, whom the rest of the world leaves alone out of fear, who are not a threat only because they have chosen not to be, but because that's just who they are?

On the other hand: Aang's been a one-man-army plenty of times. We've seen that; that's undeniable. So air is stupidly powerful as an element. No denying that. Gyatso did murder a bunch of people trying to kill him, so air can be deadly. But I don't think your typical airbender could be deadly. If you gave a can of airbending to a firebender, an earthbender, or even a particularly provoked waterbender, I don't doubt that they could kill people with it. But the culture that the element generated - rather than a conscious choice by that culture's participants - prevents them from taking the direct, violent, solution. And I think that culture developed in tandem with airbending, so there could not have been a time when airbenders were deadly as a rule. Air shaped airbenders as much as airbenders shaped air, and it shaped them into non-violent people.

There's a lot of power in the idea of consciously choosing, and sticking to, something that is perhaps not in line with your natural abilities. Styling airbenders as deadly-but-choosing-peace is a great way to explore themes of agency, identity, strength of character, morals, maturity, etc. But, to me, there's also a lot of power in the idea that some people just can't - not won't, but CAN'T - fight their way out of things, and this doesn't make it any less wrong to genocide the crap out of them.

If the fandom wants to headcanon airbenders as secret badasses who consciously choose nonviolence, I say a) go ahead! there's more than enough evidence to support that conclusion; b) I respectfully disagree; and c) is Iroh not enough?

tl;dr in my opinion, air's pacifism was a natural outgrowth of, and restriction imposed by, the element rather than a conscious choice; airbending can be deadly but airbenders aren't; Gyatso is not representative; 'speak softly and carry a big stick' is all well and good as a philosophy, but those who speak softly and don't have a stick are of value too.

[mamisfavmosher]

"This is my first time asking my requests

Can you write a poly!judgement that The reader is part of the Bloodline younger sister of The Uso's, The reader is fed up with Roman and his shenanigans then Rhea and The Judgement Day wants the reader to join them (if you don’t wanna write that, I completely understand)

thanks for the request! and sorry for the wait!

new family // poly!judgment day x fem!reader

"How many times do I have to tell you, huh?" Roman bellowed. He was angry. I suppose he had every right to be. He had to do quite a bit of convincing with Adam Pearce to get this match for me and I messed up during the peak of anticipation. My foot had gotten caught behind the rope when I was attempting to perform a corkscrew from the top rope and it was obvious. I had flailed my arms a bit out of panic and the only thing my opponent could think to do was catch me and put me through her finisher. Before I knew it, the ref finished the three count and Roman was yanking me backstage. "I worked my ass off to get this opportunity for you and you go screw it all up! You're a shit wrestler if you can't even land a corkscrew!" He scoffed out.

"I'm sorry-" I hoped an apology would slightly calm him.

"You're sorry?! How about you learn how to do your fucking job before you start apologizing to me. You're so pathetic, you know that? You're lucky you're even still in the Bloodline." Roman angrily ranted in front of me. I took a deep breath and tried not to let his words affect me.

Glancing over at my brothers, they both gave me sympathetic looks before turning their gazes away to let me finish receiving my lecture. "But, Roman-"

"Shut the hell up! You wait for me to finish speaking before you say anything!" He was entering full on tribal chief mode now.

"But-"

"What did I just say? Shut your mouth! ..." Roman's words kept coming, but they seemed to be fading out as I spotted the darker, more dominant faction approaching. The four group members of the Judgment Day stood tall and menacing behind Roman as he let his anger take control. "Finally learned how to shut your mouth, huh?" I simply ignored the taunt and let my eyes wander toward Rhea's. Roman must have noticed that my attention was no longer on him and traced my eyesight behind him.

Damian stepped forward, his taller posture creating an air of superiority. "Roman Reigns, huh? You know, I never gave much thought to you, but now... now I just know you're a scumbag." He laughed out and Finn joined him. Rhea and Dom moved closer to me, shielding me from Roman and the rest of the Bloodline.

"You okay, chica?" Dom asked. I didn't answer, my mind still reeling with panic and anger and embarrassment. "Sweetheart? Can you hear me?" He snapped his fingers in front of my face. I had never seen Dom and Rhea look so concerned.

"I'm fine..." I shrugged and stood on my tip toes to look around Rhea at the rest of the Bloodline and the still raging Roman. Rhea moved her head into my view and gently ran her hand over my arm, a look of admiration crossing her face.

"You deserve better than this, babe." Her voice was soft, but there was a hint of persuasion to it. I knew what this was. She had mentioned it one other time after Roman had one of my matches taken away. The Judgment Day wanted me to join them. I had refused the first time, brushing the situation off as if it had never happened before and it wouldn't happen again. But, then it was as if Roman started playing on a loop. He would do something horrible, take something away from me, yell at me, and even sometimes disrespect me in the ring, and the Judgment Day had taken notice. "This idiot is holding you back. If you join the Judgment Day, your career is gonna sky rocket. I swear." I tried to avoid eye contact with her, pushing down the feeling of betrayal. If I join the Judgment Day, I'm leaving my brothers behind, my family. It felt like that was everything I had ever been taught not to do.

I caught the curious gazes of my brothers as they watched the conversation between Roman, Damian, and Finn, and shifted their attention to Rhea, Dom, and I. "I can't." I said. Rhea followed my stare and immediately understood. Dom quickly motioned them over to us.

"Boys, this is your sister. And as a man with a sister myself, even though I'm currently not in contact with my family, I wouldn't let her stay in a situation like this. Not a chance. We want her to join the Judgment Day." Dom reasoned with them.

The twins looked over to me, sullen looks on their faces. "Sis, that's completely up to you, but just know.... we support you no matter what." Jimmy said, throwing an arm over my shoulder.

"Yeah." Jey pulled me into a tight hug before ruffling my hair and gently shoving me away. "Get outta here. There's bigger, better things out there for you, sis. And, don't worry... We're not far behind." He smirked and walked back over to Paul Heyman with Jimmy.

"I guess I'm out of the Bloodline, then?" I asked myself.

"And the newest member of the Judgment Day, babygirl." Rhea smirked. "Welcome to the family." She hugged me close to her chest and softly kissed my head.

If this was the kind of love I was going to be shown in this new family, I could get used to it.

[milkyhub]

— [ KAZUHA AND HIS LITTLE STEPSIS ] +18

♡⃕ anon req. smth with kazu’s pretty little stepsis who does everything with him and listens to everything he says <3 they love each other so much, enough for her to ask him to take her virginity, and he does. praise and maybe size kink included? have a great day/night <3

♡⃕ note. but ofc 🥺 enjoy!! like and rb are appreciated!! <3 asks open for more reqs and thirsts! mdni, dark content ahead!! block if u don't like this type of content!!

♡⃕ cw. dom! kazuha, modern au, stepcest, masturbation, he's a perv, slight corruption kink, size kink, praising kink, unprotected sex, calls u baby once, slight possessive behavior, hint of breeding kink???, not proofread.

♡⃕ pd. this is one of the asks requested on my other account @itzbwmbi, currently shadowbanned. im using this one since it seems that the problem is not getting solved anytime soon. sorry for the inconveniences and the sudden change of accs.

stepbro!kazuha who from the day he started living with you swore to protect you from everything and fulfill all your wishes. you were so small and cute that he couldn't refuse anything you asked for, even if your whims were worth half his savings. your parents were so proud of your good relationship, leaving the care work to kazuha when they had to go out. in addition, with him you'd tell that you had a better time.

stepbro!kazuha who no matter how many years passed, he was always going to treat you the same, like his dear little sister. he'd do everything you wanted, whether it be watching a series together, playing video games, going out for a walk. anything you ask for, he'd have it done in less than a second, and all because of how much he loves and appreciates his sweet stepsis.

stepbro!kazuha who maybe loves you a little bit more than he should. now that you have grown up, he's realized how beautiful you truly are. you were literally so hot that his prying eyes kept roaming your body every time you turned around.

stepbro!kazuha who you show all your new dresses to, making it difficult for him to maintain eye contact when the clothes are too tight, making your curves and that nice ass more visible. he always has to look away, cheeks turning pink as his mind keeps looping over the image of your body in that short dress, wondering what's under it.

stepbro!kazuha who jerks off in his room thinking about his innocent little sister. feels so dirty and guilty but he can't help it :( he pumps his cock up and down imagining it was your tight little pussy instead of his hand. he knows that you are a good and innocent girl, and you have never thought anything obscene about anyone, and a great feeling of remorse surrounds him when he looks at you the next day.

“if you only knew the things i think of you...”

stepbro!kazuha who knows for a fact that you've never done anything sexual. knows that you are still a pure and clean-minded girl, not like him. and he wants it to be that way for a long time. the simple fact of thinking that another boy could steal that innocence fills him with rage and helplessness. you're his little sister, no one has the right to steal anything from you, except himself.

stepbro!kazuha whose eyes can not believe that one night you silently appeared in his bedroom, tears rolling down your reddish cheeks while you try to drown your sobs with the back of your hand. he's so surprised that he just watches your movements as you crawl over to his bed until you lie next to him. it doesn't take long for him to open his arms and give you a space on his chest to rest your head there, stroking your hair once you're positioned over him. you hug your stepbrother tightly, flatly refusing to look at him as you shyly whimper the next few words.

“please help me stop being a virgin. i want you to fuck me, please, kazu...”

you can't see it, but kazuha's eyes instantly light up and his heart seems to stop for a second, his breathing becoming erratic as he processes your words. he has many questions about it — why do you care so much about losing your virginity? why have you chosen him, your stepbrother, instead of any other boy? despite all his doubts, the answer that comes out of his mouth is clear and firm. “i'll help you. but you have to be quiet, 'kay? or they'll hear us and we'll have a big problem.”

you thought he was goingto refuse, and now that the opposite has happened, terror fills your body. this is wrong, so wrong, it's your own stepbrother, it's his bed, and your parents are at home, sleeping in their room. as you think of all the possible bad endings, you don't realize that kazuha has changed positions, and now his figure is on top of you, his hands on the sides of your head supporting his weight so as not to hurt you, slowly lowering himself to join his lips with yours for the first time, moving them desperately as if he's been wanting this for a long time.

stepbro!kazuha who gently pushes your panties aside, his long fingers brushing against your pussy making you shudder and hiss. unable to wait any longer, he takes his cock in his hand and pumps it a couple of times before lining it right up against your wet entrance. “i'll go slowly. tell me when you want me to stop.” his cock is huge at your eyes, so big you think it won't fit. you squeeze your eyes shut as the tip of his hard cock begins to work its way through your walls, stretching them oh so nicely. the way your pretty pussy tighten around his cock makes him gasp slightly. “just relax, or i won't be able to control myself.”

stepbro!kazuha who starts pounding into you once you are adapted to his size. it's now that he realizes how small your body is compared to him, but you're so cute, the feeling of corrupting you is making his cock twitch inside you. “fuck- you are doing so well, taking my cock s'good, baby.” he whispers in your ear. seeing how your pussy clench to his praises, he keeps whispering in your ear how well you're behaving, how well you're doing, and how well you've done in asking your reliable big brother to take your virginity before any other guy does it.

stepbro!kazuha who pushes your thighs towards your chest with his hand, giving him access to hit the most sensitive spot of your pussy with his cock. with his other hand he wipes away the tears of pleasure spilling out of your closed eyes, cherry lips red and swollen from the intense make out session kazuha has given you earlier. he was so needy of you, he just couldn't help it. he'll apologize later. <3

stepbro!kazuha who wants to cum inside you so bad but knows that would be problematic for you both. his slender fingers move in circles on your clit, accelerating your orgasm as his thrusts become sloppy because he too is getting closer and closer, the knot in his abdomen becoming more and more unbearable, needing to quickly get his cock out to end over all your stomach, warm white fluid staining your skin to the last drop.

stepbro!kazuha who apologizes if he has been very rough at some point, but your face denoting pleasure and exhaustion assures him that he's done a good job fulfilling his sister's wishes one more time. oh sweet, sweet little sister of his… how he wishes you'd ask him again to use his cock to relieve yourself whenever you needed it. :( you'll ask him again, right? after all, he wants you to use him as you please. <3

© 2022 milkyhub.

[lavenderstobins]

you dont need to answer this if you're not feeling it, but!!! I am obsessed with the Josie universe and want to know more. How does she handle sleepovers growing up? Does she love them? Is she a loner kid? Is she someone who is weird and quiet at home and social butterfly in school or vice versa? How do the four handle her school days? Is someone super involved while someone else just shows up when they're told to different recitals and family things?

I am always feeling Josieverse!!! I love answering anything about it please please please send me things!!!

How does she handle sleepovers growing up? Does she love them?

Josie’s really accustomed to sleepovers both because of living with Steve and Eddie alongside Robin and because of the party. Steve and Robin end up sharing their beds a lot so Eddie by extension also ends up sharing with them, and Josie would always crawl into Robin’s bed in the night so she’s used to sharing a room with other people. She doesn’t start having sleepovers at other people’s houses until she’s about 7 or 8, and by that point she’s also had experience with spending the night at her other mom’s house, so she adjusts to it pretty quickly!

That being said, she prefers when the sleepovers are held at her house, if only because all three of them (four, once Nancy comes back and starts dating Robin) make it SUCH an event for the kids. Steve pretends to be their butler for the evening and Eddie keeps bowing and calling everyone “madam” or “ma’am” which makes her giggle.

(Other answers under the cut since this ask ran away from me!)

Is she a loner kid?

Not at all! It’s something that really throws Robin for a loop initially because she was very isolated as a child whereas Josie seems to make new friends everywhere she goes.

Josie has a best friend named Squiggly (her real name is Samantha but her surname is Lines so her friends & family call her Squiggly) that she’s joined at the hip with growing up, and they have a little group of friends!

When she gets to her teens, I think she’d have close friendships with a couple of friends rather than a group of friends like she’d had growing up, but I think she’d be more than happy with that still.

Is she someone who is shy and quiet at home and social butterfly in school or vice versa?

She’s very social both at school and at home! She’s very chatty and has a lot of energy, particularly as a kid. She can talk a mile a minute and she often talks with her hands the same way Robin does. (In fairness to her, Steve and Robin are utter gossips with each other and she grows up in that environment.)

She’s not shy, but she’s cautious around strangers, and she also eavesdrops on the adults’ conversations so she has reservations about certain people when she meets them. Nancy, for example, she’s often heard talked about, but she doesn’t meet her until she’s six and a half, so she’s quieter around her until she can figure out Nancy’s deal. (Which is also a little bit funny because her favourite person ever—after Robin—is Mike.)

How do the four handle her school days?

Robin takes her to and from school most days — she usually drives her to school and then they walk home together because it gives them one-on-one time each day. I think when she’s a bit older they split the days so everyone gets time with Josie and the opportunity to have time with other people in their lives.

Once Robin starts dating Nancy things shift a little as Nancy adjusts into their lives so sometimes Steve and/or Eddie take her to school and pick her up. Nancy also does more of the school runs early on to try and get to know Josie better (which Josie loves because Nancy has such bad road rage and she’s trying so hard to keep it under control).

Is someone super involved while someone else just shows up when they’re told to for different recitals and family things?

They’re all pretty involved! Robin’s her mother so she’s the most involved person, but Steve and Eddie are a close joint-second since they’ve been there from the start. Josie’s other mom, Val, shows up mainly for events (once they’ve reconnected) or for support, which is fine with her.

Nancy finds herself attending more and more events while she’s reconnecting with Robin and then is also pretty involved once she actually takes on the stepmom role and starts dating Robin. A few of the others also attend the events they’re able to — Mike, Dustin, Erica, Lucas and Max in particular try to support whatever they can of hers in their own ways.

There’s an unspoken agreement that Robin always gets first priority, since Josie’s her kid, but often if there’s only a spot for two people to attend something, Steve, Eddie and Nancy will work out who should attend what so none of them really get to miss out.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 21. Daylight

Previous chapter

Masterlist

We were really working through some things in this chapter :)

A little spicy, nothing crazy though.

<33

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, Pietro and Nadia being Pietro and Nadia, some spice (literally it doesn't even constitute a chili pepper), flirty flirty behavior, some angst, and arguing.

I stretched my neck from side to side, rolling my shoulders to loosen my muscles as I waited for Pietro to arrive for training. My mind seemed set on reliving the memory of his hands on me over and over again in a never-ending loop that proved extremely distracting. I’d been attempting to push the thoughts out of my mind, to focus on other things, yet it was becoming clear to me that when it came to these pesky feelings, I was having there was no ignoring them – they refused to not be felt by me.

My lips upturned when I felt the air shift behind me, shortly after an arm swung out in an attempt to place me in a hold. It never failed to amuse me when people thought they could beat me with the element of surprise. I grabbed Pietro’s arm and ducked beneath in, using my body to flip him onto the ground on his back. He sighed dramatically, throwing his head back in exasperation. “That was uncalled for.”

I raised an eyebrow at him as he moved back to his feet, running a hand through his hair. “You’re really shit at sneaking up on people.”

He rolled his eyes. “Why must you bully me so relentlessly?”

“Are you really surprised?” My hands fell to my hips as I regarded him. “I’m not going to start going easy on you now.”

His lips curved into that cheeky grin that had become a familiar sight on him. “Oh, I wouldn’t want you to, Prinţesă.” I bit back a smile, rolling my eyes at his tone and the way his eyes traveled along my body.

“Okay, I want to see some of what you’ve learned. Think of it like a pop quiz. We’ll start with how you get out of holds.”

I was pleased with his progress though not particularly surprised; I’d been seeing his continual improvement for months now. It made me think back to that first month of us training together, he was always strong, but he lacked skill and strategy. Now, he got out of nearly all of my holds with some amount of ease, he still couldn’t beat me, but he was good. I smiled when he broke free of me before I managed to get him into the guillotine choke. When we were sparring, I saw the thought behind his movements, the skill that had become an indelible part of his fighting style. I threw a punch, and he caught my fist, twisting it and moving swiftly to evade me, a second after he stepped behind me, I felt a small sting against my ass, followed by a smart-ass little snicker. I froze in place, disbelief overtaking me as I glanced over my shoulder to see his shoulders shaking with laughter as he walked away. Without hesitation I followed, kicking him quickly in the back of the knee, not enough to hurt him but firm enough to have his knee buckle. I grabbed his shoulder about to put him in a chokehold out of retaliation. In my haste I left my guard open, allowing his to grab my wrist and swiftly sweep my feet from beneath me. I scowled at him as he pinned me to the mat beneath him. “Too slow.” He taunted, smirking growing. I gritted my teeth, attempting to summon my anger, yet meeting Pietro’s striking gaze seemed to extinguish it almost completely. The rage I knew well turned into ash and embers that dissipated in my hands. Irrespective of this I narrowed my eyes at him, feigning ire. His amused look transformed into a soft smile as he watched me. “Don’t be mad. It’s just because you’re such a good teacher.” His eyes fell to my lips. My heart was racing, and I was fighting hard to stop the smile from taking over my lips.

I bucked my hips up to throw him off-balance before moving my leg to overlap one of his and flip us. “Who’s too slow now?” I spoke moving from between his legs to pin him properly, hand beside his head holding me parallel to him.

He shook his head, snorting at me. “Sore loser.” His hand moved to sit on my hip causing my heart rate to pick up once more. His other hand tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, caressing my cheek slightly. I leaned down to brush my lips over his, gently before kissing properly. I could no longer fight the smile that tugged my lips upward, so I gave in; a little. His own smile grew, and his eyes traced over my face as if he were following an invisible pattern across my flesh. He was quiet for a long while then.

I kissed him again so that he’d stop looking at me like that. His hand squeezed my hip a little, the other smoothing over my hair to bring my lips against his more firmly. I felt his fingers pressing into the tights that covered my thigh before he flipped up over once again, rolling on top of me. This needed to end, anyone could walk into the training room, I knew that, yet the thought of stopping was still entirely unappealing. “Pietro,” I murmured against his lips, but the kissing never ceased. “We should go eat dinner.” He ignored me entirely, beginning to press a line of kisses down my throat. My lips parted, eyes fluttering slightly.  I grabbed ahold of his hair, prying him away from me. His mouth was parted, a little smirk forming.

“If you want me to stop, this isn’t the way to do it.” His hand snaked up my arm, slipping my hand from his hair and turning his head to press a gentle kiss to my pulse point. “But I am pretty hungry so…” His eyes raked over my form, causing a shiver to run down my spine. I pulled my legs back pushing his chest with my foot, causing him to fall backward. His cheeky laugh filled my ears as I moved to my feet once more.

The kitchen was empty when we entered, a rare occurrence at the compound, but not unpleasant. There was a hush that fell over the room as we sat and ate together. Out the window I could see a gray cast over the sky, wind causing the trees and bushes to sway rather violently. I twirled some pasta around my fork, glancing over at Pietro to find him already looking at me. With a raised eyebrow, I leaned back in my seat. “Is there something I can help you with?” He only grinned at me, continuing to clear his plate. A chill set into my flesh as I sat there, now regretting forgoing a jumper this morning. My body always seemed to forget how cold December was in New York. Not quite as cold as Russia, but these days my body was less adapted to the bone-chilling cold that was winter in Moscow. I rubbed a hand up and down my bare arms to combat the cool air. The sound of a fork clattering was followed by a blur of blue and silver and before I could even comprehend what had happened, Pietro was holding his jumper out to me. At first, I remained still, unsure how to react. He moved his hand slightly more toward me in a gesture of his offering. Slowly, hesitantly, I accepted the soft item, still warm from being on his body. “Aren’t you going to be cold?”

He shrugged. “Nah, I run pretty hot. You know – enhanced metabolism and all that.” I glanced down at the jumper in my hands, body stiff. “It’s not laced with poison or something, Nadia.” He teased. I rolled my eyes at him, finally slipping the jumper over my head and pulling it down. It pooled a little on me, but I didn’t mind, in fact, I rather liked it. The smell of him enveloped me, and it frightened me how at ease that made my body become.

“Thank you,” I murmured quietly, averting my eyes.

“You’re welcome. Besides, it looks better on you anyway.” A smile tugged at my lips. “Hey, since we are boyfriend and girlfriend now, do you think we should start using new pet names.” The smile faltered and I narrowed my eyes at him. “How do you feel about… babe?” The glint in his eyes told me everything I needed to know, that and the beginnings of that little shit-eating smirk forming on his lips.

“How do you feel about losing a limb?”

The smirk was no longer a mere whisper but now a prominent fixture of his expression. “You seem to be harboring a lot of rage.” He leaned a little closer to me, hand brushing my knee. “I could probably help with that.”

“Hello you two.” Cap greeted as he entered the room, staring down at a stack of envelopes. I watched Pietro with a narrowed gaze as he greeted Steve cheerily. “This came for you this morning, Nads.” He handed me an A4 envelope, before setting the rest of the mail down on the counter. “Can I talk to you in the conference room quickly, Pietro?”

When the two men were gone, I tore the seal off of the envelope, emptying its contents into my hands. A thick manila folder slid out. Along with a handwritten note.

I’ve never been good at letting go of a thread – Fury.

I flipped the folder open, its contents made me shoot up from my seat abruptly, slamming the file closed. Stowing it away under my arm, I swiftly made my way to my room, shutting the door and leaning against it. I closed my eyes for a long moment before flipping the file open once more, the first item in the folder was familiar, a S.H.I.E.L.D. dossier with my information on it, every agent has one. It described physical appearance, personal information, mission qualifications, and some other important intel. I’d seen it before; half the sections were covered with red ‘CLASSIFIED’ text. It was what followed my agent profile that had me slamming the folder closed once more. Another dossier, one I had never seen before. I didn’t even bother looking over the other documents that were in the file. I tossed it onto my bed and began to pace the length of my room. Why couldn’t Fury just let this go? I’d already told him I didn’t want him digging around in my past. I didn’t need to know; didn’t want to know. A knock on my door had me freezing in my spot. Natasha was away on assignment, so I knew it wasn’t her.

“Who is it?” I called.

“Ultron, I’ve come back for revenge,” Pietro called from the other side of the door.

I snatched the file from my bed, scanning my room for somewhere inconspicuous to hide it. “I was just joking it’s not actually Ultron, it’s just me… can I come in?” I jammed the folder into a space on my bookshelf. “What are you doing in there, Nadia?”

“You’re not funny,” I said when I yanked the door open to reveal him leaning on my doorframe with raised eyebrows.

“You love my jokes.” He pouted. “What took you so long to answer?”

“I was naked.” I taunted, moving aside to let him into the room.

He gasped, glancing over his shoulder at me in disbelief. “Well, you should have just said so, dragă, I could have helped you dress.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m sure you could have.”

“What can I say, I’m very helpful.”

“And just as irritating.”

He grinned at me. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“Guess!”

An exasperated sigh fell from me as I dropped onto my bed. “You’re joining forces with a robot man to destroy the Avengers?”

He glared at me, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re a very cruel woman.”

I smiled wryly, tilting my head slightly to the side. “Are you going to tell me or what?”

“Steve is sending me on assignment by myself.” My eyebrows shot up. “Well, technically Sam is coming too, but I’m the one leading, he’s just backup.” Pietro was practically vibrating with excitement, barely managing to contain his beaming smile. I processed his words, nerves ticking within me. He’d never been the lead on assignment before and I’d never not been with him. It was entirely bizarre to me to have these feelings towards someone, to be so indescribably concerned with the welfare of one person. Though, as Pietro stood before, struggling to fight back his glee, I decided to unpack my feelings later, but in the meantime, I refused to sour his moment.

A smile spread across my lips. “Wow, they grow up so fast.” I teased, standing up. He rolled his eyes and before I could blink my feet were off the ground and Pietro was engulfing me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck instinctively in order to not fall. He sped around the room, jumping and spinning. His speed had things flying around all over the place. The chaos of his intense excitement caused laughter to bubble within me. “Pietro!” My stomach hurt from laughing by the time he’d stopped. He dropped down on top of my bed with me beneath him. I laughed again as he let his full weight fall on me. “You’re crushing me.” I groaned out.

He lifted himself up on his arms that sat on either side of my head. “I cannot believe that Cap trusts me enough to do this!”

“Of course, he does, you’ve done nothing but prove yourself the entire time you’ve been here.”

His eyes softened, his smile turning gentle as he gazed down at me. “You know, I owe so much of this to you.”

My face contorted with confusion, and I asked him what he was talking about.

“You’re the one who trained me… you made me a real Avenger.”

His words pierced me so deeply that I felt as though I’d lost the ability to speak for a long moment. “I only taught you to fight, Pietro. You did the rest.” I smiled at him. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I don’t think that’s true but agree to disagree I suppose.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, moving to hold himself up on his elbows, face hovering just above mine. “Is this, okay?” He gestured toward our bodies. I nodded slowly. His lips met mine again and my hand slipped into his hair. I couldn’t get enough of the way his mouth felt against mine, of the way his lips tasted.

He brought my other arm up to wrap around him as well before dragging his hand down to my thigh and propping it over his hip. The feeling of his warm fingers dancing on the sliver of skin where my shirt and his jumper had ridden up had me shuddering. For almost the first time in my life I leaned into the sensation of a hand making contact with my bare skin. I felt feverish, my entire body burning up and the only thing that could save me was Pietro. I pulled him flush against me. He groaned softly into my mouth pushing the hair from my face and kissing down my jaw, the way he had in the training room, but this time I didn’t stop him. My fingers tugged on his hair, and I tilted my head back, giving him more room to move. His grip on me tightened slightly he halted, forehead pressing into my shoulder as his body lifted slightly so that it was no longer flush with mine. “What’s wrong?” I asked, breathlessly.

“Maybe we should stop...”

My face flushed and I let my hands fall from him. “Pietro… what’s wrong?” I saw his Adam’s apple bob, but he didn’t lift his head. “We don’t have to do this if that’s not what you want, we can just watch a movie or something…”

Finally, his blue eyes met mine. “Nadia.” He paused, scrubbing a hand down his face before shaking his head. “I do want this… Jesus, you have no idea how badly, I want this.” The pink flush across my face and chest was likely still prominent as he watched me. “But I promised you that we’d take this slow, and if we keep going, I don’t think that’s how this is going to go.” My hand fell over his cheek, the touch so light it was barely there. I moved it to his chest. It was far easier to think straight when there was a fabric barrier between us. That is what I had said, I wanted… needed to take things slow… but God if his words didn’t make me want his so much more.

I felt him beginning to retreat from me, attempting to put some distance between us. However, it wasn’t entirely clear whose benefit that was for. Whose self-control he was trying not to test any further.  I clutched his shirt in my hand, stopping him from going any further. When he was still and the air that I breathed wasn’t solely his I could no longer blame it on the proximity, and it became hard to deny what I was feeling; so, I stopped trying to. This time, I sought him out, sitting up so that we were face to face once more. “I don’t want slow, Pietro.” I slid my hand back up to sit at the side of his neck, just below his ear. “I just want you.”

He softened as I pulled him back down to kiss me, falling on top of me once again. Though, once again, it was short-lived. His lips were practically grazing mine as he spoke. “I want you too, Nadia. God, do I want you.” I tilted my head up a little more causing him to smile a little. “You have no idea how hard it is to stop, especially when you say things like that… but I want you to still want me, want this, in the morning. So, I still think we should wait, I don’t want it to be just the heat of the moment.”

I knew he was right. As infuriating as that fact was. I wanted him, so badly it felt like I couldn’t breathe. However, that was right now, but it wasn’t so long ago that just a touch had me tensing and pulling away. This couldn’t be a heat-of-the-moment decision, irrespective of whether I understood it or not, whatever this was between us was too important. I wouldn’t be reckless with it.

So, he rolled off of me and I let him. Taking a deep breath of the non-Pietro-tinted air. I closed my eyes and attempted to settle my highly strung nerve-endings. The bed shifted as Pietro moved to stand.

“You could stay.” I knew it was risky, particularly given what had happened between us earlier. Pietro froze in his spot, standing beside my bed watching me, with slightly raised eyebrows. There was silence between us for a long moment then. I shook my head. “You don’t have to…”

He shook his head, taking a step closer. “No, I do want to stay, I do. I just don’t want you to be offering unless that’s actually what you want.”

Was it what I wanted? My heart was racing and the prospect of sharing the bed frankly terrified me a little. It wasn’t as though we’d never shared a bed. We had in Moscow, but this felt entirely different. Maybe it’s because there, he was the one who was the more vulnerable, and here – now that I had nothing to hide behind, I was the vulnerable one. Even when we’d been so intimately close just now, no guards up, no defenses, that terrified me.

“I do… It’s just, a lot, but I do want you to stay.” To punctuate my words, I slid over a little more on my bed, flipping the covers back for him. He watched me carefully as he fiddled with the corner of the duvet. A small smile grew on his lips as he slowly got into the bed beside me. I settled back against the pillow, my heart still thumping against my chest as I lay on my side, facing him. He mirrored my position, moving a little closer, gazing tenderly at me. He reached over to turn the lamp off.

“Wait!” I shot up beside him, causing him to halt immediately. He sent me a questioning look, hand hovering in mid-air. My cheeks burned, embarrassment sizzling in me as I searched for words to explain my abrupt behavior. “I-There is something you should know first.” He dropped his hand to his side, nodding softly at me and gesturing for me to go on. “I can’t sleep in silence. I haven’t been able to ever since…” I swallowed heavily, running a hand through my hair. “I just can’t sleep without a reminder that I’m not there so F.R.I.D.A.Y. plays city sounds in my room at night. It is stupid I know, but that is the only way I can sleep so I get it if you don’t want to sleep in here now.”

The look he gave me then was hard to describe, one thing that stood out was the absolute lack of judgment in his eyes. He didn’t roll his eyes or sigh he just moved closer to me, hand ever so gently caressing my cheek. “It’s not stupid.” He spoke in absolutes. “And it does not have the slightest effect on me wanting to stay.” I let out a slightly shaky breath.

“Okay. I just thought I should tell you.” I leaned over him to turn off the light so that he wouldn’t see the shade my face had turned. Though it likely didn’t hide much as the second we laid down I felt his hand return to my cheek, moving the hair out of my face and smoothing over my skin. By the time the faint sounds of the city began filtering into the previously silent room I was far more occupied with the man who laid before me. I felt the warmth radiating from his chest and despite myself, I moved slightly closer to him. His free arm slid beneath my pillow, not actually touching me, just there, a solid, consistent reminder. His other hand remained on my cheek, playing with my hair, dusting across my warm skin.

“If you’re comfortable so am I.” His breath fanned over my face, his words a mere murmur. I barely recognized the stinging in my eyes until I felt the hot stream of liquid leave my eyes. There, lying in my bed with him touching my skin so intimately I was sure I’d never felt so at ease in my life. I had expected that prickling sensation of discomfort to set in, yet there was no trace of it as my heart slowed and my body melted into his hand.

His fingers grazed over my wet cheeks, halting for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was hushed. “Did I upset you?” I shook my head against his hand.

“I’m not upset.”

I felt him shift a little, more of his warmth radiating onto me. “But you’re crying.”

My chin grazed his shoulder when I moved, fingers shaky as they fell to his wrist. I smoothed my thumb over the soft flesh on the inner side of his arm, feeling the steady thump of his pulse. He wiped my tears away, soft in that way only Pietro knew how to be. “I’m not upset,” I repeated. “You just… I’m not good at saying these things… You just say and do things for me that no other person has ever done before. Things that I’ve never even realized I wanted someone to do, and you just know and… honestly, it scares the shit out of me, Pietro.” It was hushed, the tone in which I spoke to him. Just like it had been that day when we lay side by side in Central Park. Because some words were just for the two of us to share.

“I don’t want to scare you, Nadia.”

I smiled a little. “Well, you do. When I’m with you, I feel these things that I’ve never felt before, I don’t understand the feelings and I don’t know what to do with them all.”

He smoothed my hair back with his palm, just like he had earlier. “You could always give them to me. I’ll take them.”

I closed my eyes with those words lingering between us. His hand was still on my cheek, caressing, brushing through my hair. When sleep came, I welcomed it.

When I awoke during the night – as I did; there was no red, the panic came and went and the only thing that remained was the warmth of Pietro’s embrace.

…

Sunlight drew a warm line across my cheek as I awoke. My body was still heavy with sleep as I cracked my eyes open. The warm weight of Pietro’s arm lay over my shoulders, the man himself flat on his back, still fast asleep. My head was resting on his chest. The corners of my lips tugged upward as I watched him, a peaceful expression on his face. I laid my head over my arm, studying the arches of his eyebrows, the curve of his jaw, and the smooth pale skin of his cheeks. His nose crinkled slightly.

“Why are you staring at me, Prinţesă?” He cracked an eye open as he spoke, voice deep with sleep.

I looked away quickly. “I was not staring.” I scoffed.

 He snickered. “You’re not a very good liar, Nadia.”

“I’m an exemplary liar, actually, you’re just delusional.” His signature smirk appeared on his lips. I looked away quickly, hiding my smile. When I gazed out at my room I was shocked by the state of it. There were books and papers all over the place. I wracked my brain for what had possibly caused that mess before glancing back at Pietro accusingly. His expression turned sheepish.

“I was excited!” He defended.”

“You are like a bull in a China shop.” I tsked. He only shot me a toothy grin. He slipped from the warm embrace of the bed to begin collecting my belongings that had been strewn about. I rolled onto my back, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Who is Nadia Morozova?”

I shot up at the mention of the name, Pietro stood across the room, striking with the sunlight pooling in my bedroom, in his hands was the file I’d thought I’d hidden yesterday. It must’ve fallen from the shelf when Pietro was running around.

With a heavy swallow and several long moments of hesitation, I finally spoke. “I am.” I got out of bed swiftly, grabbing the file out of his hands, and clutching it so tightly that the paper began to crinkle. “Pimenova is the name I took when I defected, originally it was Morozova.” The cold mask of indifference, I forced over myself chaffed as I stood in his unwavering gaze.

“Okay. So, what is that.” He pointed at the folder in my hands.

“My file,” I spoke as if it was obvious.

The corners of Pietro’s lips upturned. “Yes, but why is Nick Fury sending you your file.”

My grip tightened again on the manila folder.  I shrugged at the man before me. “What is this, an interrogation?”

“Actually, it’s this crazy thing called communicating, figured maybe we could try it.” He teased.

“Fury’s sending it to me because he can’t leave well enough alone.” Pietro raised an eyebrow at me, evidently not content with my answer. “I really don’t understand why you’re so invested.”

“Because you’re clearly upset.”

“Oh, for fucks sake, Pietro! Fury is hassling me because he thinks he’s found some bullshit lead on my biological family, but this isn’t the first time he’s saying that, and I had no interest in it then either.”

That momentarily silenced him. He furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t understand, why wouldn’t you want that?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Want what?”

“You have an opportunity to have a relationship with your family, to know them. Why wouldn’t you take it.”

“Because I don’t want it.”

“Why?”

I threw the file onto my bed, now empty hands clenching into fists at my side. “I just don’t.” 

“How can you say that?!” His tone was impassioned when he spoke, taking me by surprise. I didn’t understand what he was feeling right now. “If I had the choice, I would give anything to see my parents again, I don’t have that luxury. You do and you’re choosing wrong!”

“The luxury?” Before I could say anything else, Pietro cut me off.

“It isn’t even just about your parents, what if you have a sibling out there? You don’t even care? You’re just choosing to ignore it?”

My heart clenched and raced at the same time. I was incensed then. “Choosing?! That’s funny, really. I didn’t choose anything about this! You seriously have no idea what you’re talking about, you had a family Pietro! You still have Wanda. I never knew my parents or any siblings. I never had that. So don’t act like it’s even comparable. Even if I did have a family out there, they’d only be strangers to me and me to them, so what’s the difference anyway?” I blinked rapidly in an attempt to lessen the stinging in my eyes. Pietro’s eyes softened as he looked at me.

“Nadia-”

“I’d be doing them a disservice anyway. At least if they think I’m dead or missing or whatever, they can just remember me as the child they lost. The one they knew. I don’t want to ruin that memory for them.” He stared at me with parted lips, eyes gentle and a merciful look in them. I felt the tears break the barrier of my waterline and I was furious. Pietro was before me in an instant. My throat felt raw as I continued. “I don’t want them to know me…”

“Nadia… letting them know you is not a disservice. Knowing you is and always will be nothing less than a privilege.”

I shook my head, wiping frantically at my face to rid myself of the tears. “Just stop.”

“No, Nadia. Look at me.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, and I turned my face away from him. His hand brought me back, wiping the tears from each of my cheeks and forcing me to meet his eyes. “You need you to know that… I need you to know that!” The tears kept coming despite my hardest attempts to stop them. “Tell me you know that.” His voice was quieter then. When I didn’t respond, his hands eclipsed my cheeks, his eyes were wide and desperate as he looked at me. “You saved my life, again and again, you have saved so many people and never expected anything in return. Even when you didn’t trust me, or even particularly like me, you still trained me. You still helped me become an Avenger. You took me to New York, to your place because you knew I didn’t have one of my own. You gave my sister a clean slate. Why did you do all of that?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “It was just the right thing to do.”

“But not everyone would have done it. You did. Because you’re a good person… more than that there aren’t words to describe how good you are inside, Nadia.” He didn’t let go of me once and even though I turned from him and pushed him, he knew that I didn’t actually want him to leave. He knew that I needed him, so he stayed and never even acknowledged it. “It kills me that you can’t see that.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I need you to see that.”

I wrapped my arms around him. I hugged him and it terrified me still, but the only thing I felt was warm and golden. Everything wasn’t completely perfect, but it was okay.

It felt like daylight after years of clinging to the darkness of night.

[jakes3resin]

OKAY THE ABO STALAG FIC - talk to me about the roles and behaviour of the subgenders in your ABO verse. Are there packs? So I get from your tags that Buckys pheromons can influence people's moods - so when he's happy, they're calm. Does that play into why Bucky is all loud and sunshine incarnate in England - because his omega is telling him that its his responsibility to keep the boys as calm as possible?

Okay, so packs in my A/B/O verse are sorta of tiered. There's the 100th who are one large pack (this includes ground crew, the brass, and other miscellaneous officials) with the Head Alpha being whoever is the highest ranked person in charge, and its more official than personal. Then there are what I call plane packs, boys who work the same plane (often this draws in a favored member of the ground crew (like Ken) and some people who can jump into a seat/role - navigators seems to jump planes more frequently so that roles fits them and Bucky would also fit this for Brady's plane pack seeing as he flew with them you know?). These are really, really important during missions.

After plane packs are personal packs, usually your besties, bunkmates, and mate(s), and there's a lot of meandering personal pack lines with overlaps and such. When that happens, there's usually a sort of collective group decision to be under one Alpha for any conflicts and worries, which in my universe is Buck then Rosie when Buck goes down. Jack Kidd is also considered like a secondary Head Alpha because he's Air Exec, but he's so busy trying to keep everyone alive that he can't be primary Head Alpha. He deserves a break.

Bucky, by nature of being the highest ranked Omega and the former Air Exec with a penchant for making friends, ends up in a lot of people's personal packs as well as someone who checks everyone's moods and temperature. By virtue of being in so many packs, he's given a de facto position of authority where after the group Alpha, his decisions are most respected. Other people who end up being in a lot of packs are: Ken, Rosie, and Croz.

Part of the reason Bucky gets sent over first is because the Air Force knows they need to set up a welcoming atmosphere, and Omegas do that. It's why Bucky tries so hard to be bright when the boys touch down in England, and it hurts him being unable to really warn them about what the missions are really like.

Bucky takes it upon himself to see to it that every Omega is okay on base to ensure a good atmosphere, which further cements his place as overall Pack Omega. He does view it as his responsibility, but he's also happy to do it, at least in the beginning. He's good at it because he's a people person, and the boys, Omega or not, all feel better after he stops by. Once the war starts to really take a toll on Bucky's mental health, these visits slow down as Bucky can't force his usual level of cheer. This has a snowball effect because the boys start to buckle some without that extra support and the upset Omega pheromones which in turn makes Bucky feel worse and so on and so forth.

Omegas sort of act as energizers (that's the best word I can think of right now) where their pheromones have the ability to make you feel what they're feeling, usually these are positive emotions because Omegas are like happy pills for packs. Their scents are usually brighter, with positive, happy connotations that help them keep everyone happy. Betas keep things level. Their scents are closer to neutral, and they're the best at clearing out the scents of unhappy Omegas or raging Alphas. Alphas have sharper scents, and they tend to have slightly more dominating scents due to their instincts wanting to protect and mark their pack. This results in packs needing a balance of all three dynamics to stay healthy. A pack with only Alphas will get stuck in a feedback loop that can turn violent. The same goes for the other dynamics.

In Stalag Luft III, that's where pack lines have to be reworked. Your pack is your original regiment plus whoever you are bunking with. Of course, there are some exceptions where packs become close enough they become one even if they aren't from the same regiment (see the Tuskegee Airmen and the 100th because the boys all become good friends. This is sped along by Benny and Buck both bringing them into the fold due to their friendships within the Tuskegee Airmen.)

Bucky gets a bit of the odd man out treatment as once again he's the highest ranked Omega there, and the Germans use that. Often to Bucky's own detriment as he is in no shape to focus on keeping the Omegas safe. (Inspired by Bucky and Buck being at the meeting with the German head of camp and the Colonel (I'm not sure what his name is) after the British prisoners escape) This means that if the Germans have an announcement for just the Omegas, Bucky gets called in to deal with it. (This is a spoiler for my fic btw!)

This fic has such a deep background in my head that genuinely I'm not sure how to convey it, so this ask was really fun to answer! Thank you!

[bi-bard]

Making a Home on a Foundation of Sand - Hannibal Lecter Imagine (Hannibal)

Title: Making a Home on a Foundation of Sand

Pairing: Hannibal Lecter X Reader

Word Count: 1,138 words

Warning(s): kidnapping, manipulation, GRAPHIC violence (choking), death

Summary: How does one survive when the man that they thought they loved turns out to be more monster than man?

Author's Note: Don't mind the dramatic as fuck summary.

THIS IS PART TWO TO THIS IMAGINE

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I learned quickly that with Hannibal, soft touches could scare me more than being grabbed hard enough to leave bruises.

At least when the rough moments happened, I could see the anger and rage so clearly. Nothing to hide the monster.

When he was sweet, I thought that I saw parts of the man that I knew before all of this. But through the cracks, the monster was still there. Waiting. And it broke my heart.

I missed not seeing the monster.

Every morning became the same thing.

I would wake up to find the other side of the bed empty. I would pull myself out of bed before walking into the main room. He would usually be cooking or setting the table.

He would grin at me, grab my arm, press a kiss to my head, and tell me to eat.

It made me feel silly every time I flinched in response to his touch.

How could I fear someone being so gentle?

Hannibal did that a lot.

Through any sense of darkness and fear, there was this... respect. He was holding me hostage but acted like he truly cared about my boundaries. He never did anything without my permission beyond what I had been comfortable with before he brought me to Florence.

Another kind of sweetness that made me feel silly for being scared.

I thought it was going to be a constant loop for as long as I was stuck there. Waking up, eating breakfast with Hannibal, spending most of my day alone, eating dinner with Hannibal when he returned home, and then lying next to him and letting him hold me like nothing about our situation was wrong.

The only interruption to that cycle occurred when Hannibal told me that he was inviting a "colleague" over for dinner.

I didn't think much of it.

I played kind and happy.

I didn't want this man to be a consequence of my actions. If anyone had to deal with Hannibal, it needed to be me.

Hannibal had gone to finish preparing dinner. I was standing near the table as the guest looked around the room. I was holding a drink in my hand, but I hadn't taken a sip of it.

"Dr. Fell has very interesting lectures," he explained. "How many times do you have to listen to him practice them?"

I chuckled. "Rarely ever. It's almost like they're instinctual. As rehearsed as they appear."

"Instinctual," he repeated. That one word made a wave of uneasiness cover the room. "Dr. Fell and I had an interesting conversation about instincts as well. What are the odds of that?"

"I would like to think that it's not all that surprising," I shrugged. "Instincts are a common conversation. We all crave a reason for our actions or the actions of others. A conversation about instincts is as natural as a conversation about closure."

The guest didn't answer. He simply set his drink on a small table next to him before starting to walk over.

I forced a grin, setting my drink down and going to take a few steps back.

"Our conversation was different," he continued.

"Oh?"

"We discussed giving into instincts that could be seen as distasteful."

I took a deep breath, taking a few more steps back.

"He encouraged me to entertain such instincts."

I felt like I was going to be sick.

"I do find that my instincts tend to be more murderous than most."

That was all the confirmation I needed. "Hannibal-"

I tried to turn and run only to have my arm grabbed. I was yanked back toward the guest. My feet came out from under me as he did. His arm wrapped around my throat and his other hand covered my mouth to keep me from yelling.

I was kicking and scratching. All of it powered by pure panic.

It wasn't until I saw Hannibal walk in that my thoughts seemed to align. I managed to pull my head back enough to bite the guest's hand. He yelled, letting go of me. I dropped to the ground as Hannibal stormed to the guest.

My back hit the doorway between rooms as I tried to push myself away from the scene. I couldn't get my breathing back. All I could do was try to breathe while watching Hannibal strangle the guest.

The guest was on the ground on his stomach. Hannibal dragged him up, choking him just as the guest had tried to choke me.

Any sound was drowned out by the ringing in my ears.

The man slowly stopped moving.

The first sound to cut through the ringing was a distinctive snap.

I tried to stop myself from shaking when Hannibal stood up straight again. He slowly turned to look at me over his shoulder. I felt my stomach drop as he turned to face me completely.

He walked over slowly.

It was like he was testing me. Daring me to make a run for it. There it was: the monster on full display. He wanted to see if I would try to escape now that his true nature was shown to me with no filter over it. I didn't. I knew very well that if I did, he would catch me. I didn't want to think about what would happen if he did. I would rather be certain that I was going to survive.

He held out his hand once he was standing in front of me.

I slowly reached out and grabbed his hand, letting him pull me off the ground.

His other hand reached up and cupped the side of my face. His thumb ran along the skin gently, wiping away tears that I hadn't even processed were falling.

"Can you see now that all I am doing is protecting you," he asked softly. "It's safer for you to stay with me."

I don't know if my mind had turned foggy because of the attack itself or because of how he spoke to me. Hannibal had always been entrancing, but this felt like magic. Like it was true control over my thoughts.

Regardless of what had caused it, I found myself nodding with little thought.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

For the first time since arriving in Europe, I kissed him back. It was slow and almost lazy. He was gently guiding me.

I found myself feeling disappointed as he pulled away from me.

"We need to get you cleaned up," he mumbled, stepping back.

He kept my hand in his as he guided me through the apartment.

I knew that I wasn't physically dirty. Hannibal knew that too.

But I found myself following him anyways.

Because I trusted him. He was keeping me safe like he always had.

That's all he was doing.

Protecting me.

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Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

[ceilingfan5]

again

in the last, last hours of @tazsapphicweek, i'm musing on how many times i've relistened to taz balance, and how every single time, it's that first note of the song that plays in petals to the metal that gets me. i've loved seeing all your pieces!! i was really hoping to contribute more to the event, but it ended up being poor timing for me (school just started back up, and i've been dealing with a wild new crop of students) so maybe some late entries will happen, maybe not. but you can enjoy this strange one.

The thing about a time loop is-

The thing about a time loop is that it-

The thing about a time loop is that it repeats. 

The thing about a time loop is that it repeats, and it repeats, and it repeats. 

The thing about a time loop is that it goes on, and on, and on, and just when you think you’ve done it this time, the hand of god presses play again, and there you are. 

The thing about a time loop is that it repeats. 

The thing about a time loop is that, even if you do it right, you still lose her. You try, you rage, you use everything you can, and some things you probably shouldn’t have, and you know what? You lose her anyway.

The thing about a time loop is that it always ends the same way.

The thing about a time loop is that it always ends.

The thing about a time loop is that it never ends. 

The thing about a time loop, you see, is that you did everything you could. Maybe if you had known more, maybe if you had tried more, maybe if you could have just-

The thing about a time loop is that it doesn’t fucking matter. 

The thing about a time loop is that it does matter, but you don’t know what bit, and until you know what bit does matter, you’re stuck. If there is an end at all. Could there be an end? Seems unlikely. 

The thing, the thing, the thing, the thing, the thing about a time loop, is that the hand of god presses play again, and there you are. The music plays again. The light goes out of her eyes again. You make the sacrifice again. It’s the nature of the thing. Nature. Isn’t that funny? 

The thing about a time loop, if you really think about it, is the chance to analyze every single breath, every action, big or small, every choice, every consequence, and still come up empty.

The thing about a time loop is that it gives you a chance to appreciate the smallest details. She really did choose the Raven, didn’t she? She really did race the world with you? She really did smile at you, so tired, so relieved, when you held her, past the finish line? She really did accept your dumb idea?

The thing about a time loop is that it leads to a lot of stupid, stupid ideas. Every time, you notice just how stupid they are. Every time, they seem to get stupider. 

The thing about a time loop is that it’s a lot like a race. Lot of races, you go round and round and round–but there’s a finish line. You have a finish line. It’s real. You know it’s real. There’s an end. You know there’s an end. Every single time, there’s an end. 

The thing about a time loop is that there’s a beginning again, after the end. 

The thing about a time loop is that maybe, just maybe, there’s more. Maybe there’s more to this stupid story, maybe there’s another, better chance, maybe there’s a lesson learned and a possibility granted and a life saved and a hunger sated, maybe there’s an ending where the world starts anew. Maybe you can have something together, not what you wanted, never what you expected, but maybe it’s better? Maybe you become something greater, maybe you live a second life, maybe you transform, transform, transform? 

The thing about a time loop is the end, and the beginning, wilt, genesis and bloom, and maybe it repeats, but there’s hope there, there’s something. The story can never be over if you’re recreating it every day. Maybe there’s something you missed. Maybe the goal isn’t a shedding of the shackles. Maybe what you want is the joy round every corner, the finish line, and the racing again tomorrow. Maybe she’ll be there again when you wake up. Maybe it’s all worth it, when you pay it forward. Maybe time is a circle anyway, and there’s nothing wrong with a loop. 

The thing about a time loop is that you always know what to expect, but if you pay attention, it feels just as powerful every time. More, now, now that you know. Now that you understand. 

The thing about a time loop is, you never expected how comforting those familiar beats could be. 

The thing about a time loop…

The thing…

The thing is? Today is just as good a tomorrow as yesterday ever could be. 

The thing about a time loop is that it repeats. And someday, it won’t. But you aren’t hoping for that anymore. You’re living your life, loving your lover, blooming and growing and repeating, repeating, repeating, and maybe there could be more to your story, maybe not, but as long as it echoes, you’re there. 

The thing about a time loop is that it’s just as easy to press play again as it is to go home. 

[your-absent-father]

Hihi get it? Because Eve is my name-

Okay, in all seriousness, hi to old friends. It's been a while. Almost half a year it seems. I took too much pressure on this thing which should have been like a hobby and not... like work. We aren't getting paid to do this so I want my free time to be escapist and fun and not another reason to fall into previous habits.

I am rambling. The tldr is that I am on my rebrand and self care era after a year of disappointment after disappointment so I want to do something fun and have fun.

Who am I?

I am... people on here call me Eve, but I have juggling around new pen names I could start using, mainly because my last one I have used ever since middle school. So, you can call me Eve, but don't wonder if you see other names popping up like Alina Ellis and E.V May that are now the top runners up.

I am queer, probably more neurodivergent than diagnosed but I am too broke to get tested. I live in Finland. I am 22 years old and right now I am trying to get my papers to be a full time teacher's aid, and maybe apply to study to be a elementary school teacher.

I love K-pop, especially stray kids and (g)-idle, classical literature, media about problematic women doing problematic stuff, Taylor Jenkins Reed's historical books, pretending to watch indie movies even tough I would rather just watch musicals on loop.

As a writer, I love to write some good angst. I have recently tried to write some more positive stories and just have fun but I can have fun while writing some pain. I really love complex female lead that has that delicious female rage in her. I also almost always have at least one lesbian couple or/and wholesome guy with a girlboss woman.

my WIPs

Drafting

All the great love stories

Six love stories all different in nature. An evil sorceress waiting for her turn in the steak falling in love with her guard. Cabaret performer seducing the police officer and getting more that she barganded for. Children of rival mob bosses falling in love. Two soulmates trying to find each other. Mad scientist trying to keep their lover alive. Girl with unbeliavable power who can't seem to die. All of the stories are different but they all have one faithful similarity: All of the stories end in a tragedy.

intropost

all writing in one

Tag: WIP: ATGLS

False Gods

the story of Beatrix Jones, the lead singer of the rising indie rock band Aurora Four. With fame and success on the rise, Beatrix and her bandmates navigate the music industry while keeping their identities hidden behind masks, a decision made after a scandal threatened their careers. Is the hid indentity worth the criminal activity they tangled themselves in.

Tag: WIP: FG

intropost

all the writing in one

The vanishing act

a mystery thriller about a mystical carnival whose employees seem all to be identical to missing people trough out the years, and haven't aged a day even if 100 years have gone by. After year of gaslighting, Amanda witnesses her best friend and her mother, looking almost same age, in the circus performing.

Tag: WIP: Circus Moirai

intopost

All the writing in one

Mika Connelly VS the power of love

Mika Connelly never thought something like this cpuld happen to her. After pissing off a fortune teller, who was secretly Cupid in disguise, Mika Connelly is forced to live in a teen romance novel so Cupid can prove that everyone falls in love at least someone. Problem is, Mika is aroace, so romance is final thing she could think about.

To escape her rose colored prison, Mika makes a deal with cupid. Cupid has 20 chances to make Mija fall in love. Mika's mission on the other hand, is to make her new love interest not in love with her anymore. If she fails, she is trapped eternally as a high school senior in a warpped version of her old high school.

Intropost

On the shelve rn:

Children of Jessamine

Fantasy story about a queen who has to make a choice between betraying her country to join her husbands enemy, or protecting her son while the time is ticking. People might soon find out, the crown prince isn't the kings child

intopost

Also I have couple on hiatus that some people might remember. I think I'll come back to them at some point.

What I am doing on tumblr?

I am not probably going to be that active on ask games and all of those but I do want to do stuff and be creative so I have couple of ideas that maybe could be fun.

I want to do trailers for my wips. I want to edit again and I don't vibe with any fandom where I could do the edits I want

fake scenes from the books as edits too

more organized stuff

I just want to be creative without putting pressure on myself.

Other tags:

Eve Rambling: My random ramblings

Eve venting: If I need to vent

Eve being creative: creative stuff other than writing

other people's x: Other people's writeblr

So... Sorry for the essay lmao. But feel free to messenge me. I'll follow back. Let's have some fun!

[v3nusxsky]

Something foreign

*A/n~ feel free to request any prompts and I'll try to bring them to life enjoy this one this prompt is a little close to home for me so I hope I can do it some justice

Tw~ past abusive relationship*

Prompt ~ reader has had a bad relationship before moving to teach at nevermore. Larissa and reader are attracted to each other but reader is scared of the past repeating itself. Comforting Larissa

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

You'll never allow yourself to be like that again. You can't be back to the shell you were. Yet here you am. Stood in front your boss's office door knowing you've  got those kind of feelings for the goddess that she is. You could feel your hands trembling as you gently knock on her door and enter without waiting for the reply. She knew you was coming. After all it had become a nightly occurrence these days. At first it started as welcoming you to Nevermore. Noting your shy and reserved demeanour, you just assumed Larissa wanted to ensure her staff were okay. Never did you think it could be anymore than that. Now months later sitting on her sofa with a glass of wine it was all different. You couldn't let this happen again. You knew barely survived the first time. But the feelings raging in you for the principle seem to grow stronger every second of every day.

"Darling? I thought I'd lost you there for a second" her soft gentle voice was what broke your thoughts unknowingly stopping you going down a painful rabbit hole of path of remembering everything you'd been through.

"Oh I'm sorry Larissa. I seem to be in my own world tonight" you whispered remembering she'd asked me call her Larissa while in the privacy of her office.

"Away with the fairies then dear? Penny for your thoughts? She replied with a tone soft and curious.

An involuntary shiver ran over your body as you felt the colour draining from your face. Of course this would come up at some point. Although you've  never confessed your feelings to Larissa you knew she was starting to grow concerned over your odd actions. There was only so many excuses you could use. Sighing slightly you turned to look at the flames of the lit fire. It was time as they seemingly were dancing together in the most peaceful pattern. The orange glow created was casted around the room aiding the relaxing feeling you often felt in this room. With her.

"Before I arrived at Nevermore, I lived in a small town not too far from Jericho. While there I had a relationship well if you can call it that, It was 3 years long and I - it's sorry this is hard to talk about I'm not sure if I can-" you started trailing off words fading as your mind transported you back to your own personal hell.

Soft hands held on to my shaking ones, gently squeezing once retrieving your mind back to the present. "You don't have to tell me sweetheart it's okay. But I'm here to listen okay?"

With a small nod and a deep breath I continue " It wasn't a good relationship to say the least. It changed me for the worst. I use to be confident in my abilities and myself. She changed that. She tore me down into this shell that was so easily broken. 8 lost everyone including myself. Of course it started off fine but it happened so slowly I didn't see the signs. God I was so stupid. Some of the things that happened to me with her it's just all too much. " Tears escaped my eyes that are screwed shut as the onslaught of memories from the past played through your brain on a loop. "When I left and moved here it was a safe heaven of sorts for me. I had to rebuild who I am or was. I had no intention of falling for anyone. It would hurt too much to go back to that. But then there was you. I feel things for you that are so strong they terrify me. You could destroy me with the power you hold over me. Not just because your my boss. If I lost you ... I don't know what I'd do."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. what about me darling?"

"I- Larissa i have feelings for you- romantic ones... It terrifies me. I don't even know if your gay! But I can't ignore my feelings anymore they are too strong. I'm terrified I can't go back to a relationship like that. And it's not that I think you would... because I don't Rissa oh shit i Larissa I'm sorry I just it slipped out but I god this is hard. You're so kind and gentle and the passion you have for Nevermore warms my heart. You're absolutely breathtaking and I know you'd never hurt me in the ways she did but I'm so scared." A sob following your rushed statement as you begin process what you've just done. You had let your guard down. Panic bubbles up inside your chest as you keep watching the flames in their game of chase. Dancing after each other but never quite reaching each other.

Silence covered the room after your confession as you become trapped deeper in your own head and Larissa you assume is processing everything you had just dumped out in the open. God you were such an idiot sometimes. You had just admitted feelings. Feelings equal vulnerability. Vulnerability is dangerous it allowed you to be hurt in the most traumatic ways. God you may as well have just handed her a loaded gun and said shoot me. But this was Larissa. Not her. No Larissa was nothing like her. You knew that she wouldn't hurt you. You knew that. Yet the panic still kept rising higher and higher feeling like it was going to explode inside your chest.

Larissa was the first to break the silence pulling you from my own personal hell.

"Darling? Can I?" She opened her arms to me in a silent question. Cautiously you crawled closer shoulders tense as you was wondering where the trick would be. It had to be a trick. Why would someone do perfect want to hold you? In fact when was the last time you were held by someone? For comfort? It must have been years because try as you might you couldn't remember the last time you had felt safe in someone's arms. It wasn't long before you was wrapped in her arms finally relaxed with your head nuzzled into her neck. She has the most beautiful floral scent that you couldn't help but drink in committing it to memory for when she undoubtedly leaves. One of her hands rubbed up and down your back ever so gently tracing your spine as if she was afraid she'd break you. Sobs wrecked your body  at the small action of affection and comfort. How pathetic that a hug had reduced you into this mess. Yet here you were breaking down int he arms of your goddess. Your saviour. But it wasn't just a hug it. No it was her. For the first time in so many years you felt safe and loved.

"Hush darling it's okay. You're okay, I have you" she whispered as you continue to sob into her neck. With a feather light kiss into the crown of your head she continued. "Y/n you're so strong. And although I know I don't really know anything that you've been through I know you're strong. And telling me must have been so hard for you to do. However darling having feelings doesn't make you weak at all and you have to know I'd never hurt you like that. I couldn't do that to you." Her tone of voice showing the sincerity of her words just had you sobbing harder.

"Wh-y " I finally managed to hiccup out not knowing if she'd follow my train of thought but not able to coherently form a sentence as I tried to gain composure over my emotional state.  Why would someone as amazing as Larissa want the broken pathetic mess that was you?

"Because y/n I have feelings for you too. I didn't say anything because you didn't seem comfortable and I didn't want to spook you. But darling I'd never hurt a beautiful soul like yours. You deserve to be treated properly darling and i would happily dedicate the rest of my life to doing so."

More tears leaked from your eyes at her beautiful words. How could someone be so perfect and have feelings for you? That just didn't make sense. Sitting here wrapped in her embrace you could tell she honestly meant every word.

"No one's ever held me like this before" you shyly admitted to her once you had managed to gather a bit of control over your emotional state. Being used was what you were use to. But this was so gentle and caring you could practically feel the love radiating from her. "Could you just... could we... stay like this?"

"Of course darling for as long as you need" she replied holding you closer allowing you to feel the soft beats of her heart. "Y/n?"

"Mhmm?"

"This heart beats for you dear" she whispered with a smile when she felt your smile in her neck.

Words~ 1651

*Authors note ~ soft Larissa has my heart this was wrote during a particularly hard break up I was going through. I had to learn to allow people to see my emotions and to hug me again. It was hard and I hope that if anyone else is going through anything similar in relationships that you have someone to reach out to. I will always have my messages open *

[lord-of-the-harvest]

I wonder who’s pet would have it worse/better off

Minors DNI

I’m on my second round of playing through The Price Of Flesh (thank you sacrifice achievement) and I got wondering-

In Celia’s route, when you’re low enough on sanity, she mutilates you and keeps you in a cage indefinitely. Over time you’re isolated and start missing her even when she’s coming to torturing you. She’s the only one where we actually get a glimpse of what life being her pet would be like. Throughout the game she seems to want a pet/victim/friend? She often confides in you and finds comfort in your presence. It makes me think there would be equally good and bad times being her pet, but even the good times are soured by your mutilation and confinement. It also all depends on how you act as her pet.

In Derek’s route, again with low sanity, you save him and he takes you home. He hates you so much he wants to take you home to continue the torture. I can only imagine the lengthy torture sessions he’d want to inflict on you while fueled by so much rage. But gato herself even said after a while, and after he calms down, he might get attached. This makes me think after a while, and after lots of compliance and lowering your sanity even more, he’ll start treating you better and nicer. (Maybe another game/DLC for the future gato?👀) Ultimately it seems to me he’ll settle out and find comfort in you, and upgrade you from torture victim/punching bag to a real pet. He might even spoil you from time to time!

Fox we see the absolute least of on a personal basis, but there are hints here and there on how he might treat you. Now we ALSO have BTD 1&2, which lets us look at him on a more personal level. Throughout the gameplay, he’ll really only hurt you if/when chat requests. If you go down the route to survive, he puts your life above that of chat’s demands. He’ll even give you tips on how to survive them, “Chat adores the feisty ones”. In moments where it’s the two of you he also seems to WANT to comfort you, with petting your hair and telling you he’ll have a professional look at your eye. This also makes me think he’d be nicer to you than the others, as long as you play by his rules. It’s also canon in BTD2 he’d enjoy things like spoiling, praise, aftercare, and even love from his partner. There’s also the fact most men in high positions of power desire dominance in their personal bedrooms, which is something I could see in Ren, as he is a switch.

Mason never expressed any interest in holding you as a pet, which considering what he did to Sandy, doesn’t surprise me. It’s really hard for me to imagine him wanting to keep you, but if he DID want a pet, I imagine it’d be for a different purpose than the rest. I don’t think he’d want to hunt and catch you on an endless loop, or keep you in his cabin. If he wanted you he’d want you as a camping/hunting buddy. You’d both likely have to be like-minded, and similarly skilled for that to work out though. It’d be more of a mutual respect thing rather than a pet/owner dynamic, which would be near impossible if he bought you. A scenario I could see working out is if you stumbled upon his cabin on mistake and proved your worth. Maybe if you let it out that you were on a similar “hunting” trip, so you two could bond over it.

So I’m not sure who’d be the most intense owner! Idk who’s pet would have an easier time, as they’re all kinda…awful scenarios even if you are a masochist

[sidprescot]

i uhhhh finished 1899

(spoilers for all episodes below the cut, don't read if you haven't finished watching!)

GOD this show!!!!! i have been screaming internally for like 10 hours now and this is going to be so incoherent sorry

who else thinks the space ship at the end is just another simulation and the start of another loop? the season beginning and ending with maura waking up to a 'letter' from her 'brother', the ship also being called the prometheus, the technology also seeming out of place for the time period, being trapped in the vastness of space instead of the vastness of the ocean but it's still a prison.... could be totally wrong and it's just parallels but i trust nothing and no one on this (space)ship

literally every character on this show is so fucked up (affectionate) i am studying them all like bugs

i did guess that the boy was maura's son but i thought daniel was either an older version of him or her brother, the husband reveal fully knocked me on my ass because up until that point i was convinced they were setting up a maura/eyk romance which i 100% think was intentional clearly they have some connection outside of the simulation and the heart wants what it wants when you have amnesia lmao it's so valid of her tbh i too am making eyes at andreas in that coat

also hear me out what if daniel and elliot are both dead in the original reality (or never existed at all) and the versions of them that we see are actually AI created by maura to cope with her trauma... seems like elliot at least is dead or dying considering the grave bunker and his memory in the chair... if maura is the creator of the simulation, maybe she's also their Creator? what if she can wake up but they never can

tinfoil hat firmly ON

or alternatively what if daniel is actually the antagonist leading her deeper into the simulation OR maybe they're both literally exactly what they seem to be and he's just a guy who loves his wife and wants to save her from herself and also her fucked up family and also maybe loves his son sometimes i am sooooooo full of shit lmao it's 3am bestie

also i was NOT expecting olek and ling yi to fuck me up like that... they speak the language of LOVE ok do not perceive me

and speaking of that i've seen some people say that they feel like the simulation reveal took away the gravity of the death scenes but it didn't at all for me, for one everyone jumping overboard like lemmings off a cliff while you hear their bodies thunk thunk thunk was fucking haunting and that was the bulk of the deaths, but also i just think the implications of the whole thing fuck me up more on a psychological level when it comes to the main characters... they are all doomed by the narrative, new liver same eagles, this is going to happen again and again because they can't escape their emotions, they can't escape love or hate or rage or fear or desire or grief, they can't escape what it means to be human no matter how deep into their dreams and nightmares they go at the core nothing ever changes and it's fucking tragic

in other words, i ugly cried through most of ep 7

and then there's the triangle symbolism, the tattoos, 'what is lost will be found', 1011, some of the names being anagrams, etc etc

THERE ARE SO MANY LAYERS

everything is too real nothing is real at all they're alive they're dead they're in purgatory they're in a hell of their own making they are the glitch in the matrix they are the (literal) bugs in the code i am going to scream

actual footage of me making this post

also i am definitely going to gif the show but i have a really busy week coming up and i'll be out of town for most of it so it might be a while unfortunately but just know the gifs are coming eventually they are living in my little brain as we speak

ok i'm going to shut up now if you read this far thank you, i love you, and i'm sorry lmao

[fic-kle]

The time loop is about grief. It wasn’t at first, but he was beginning to suspect that, after a while, all time loops became about grief, in the end.

Day 30, a whole month has gone by— not that he would really know, since the moon is always the same. Day 31, bargaining. If you let me out, he thinks, unable to finish the sentence. If you let me out, I promise.

The first day, unknowing, everything is normal. The second, denial. Time loops aren’t real, so something else must be happening. Obviously there’s an answer. Suspiciously similar days. An elaborate prank. Day 5, anger. It must be a trick, if it’s not, why him? Why not the friendly dog-walker or the waitress in the cafe-slash-bar on the corner? He gets mad, of course he gets mad. He stews in it. The rage takes a few weeks from him, while he’s still counting.

Day 30, it’s been a month. Not that he would know, other than the counting. The moon has stayed the same sliver every evening, again and again and again.

Day 31, bargaining. If you let me out, he thinks, unable to finish the thought. If you let me out, I promise, I promise, I promise.

Day 35 dawns with an I promise and a realization that while he has been repeating the words in his heart, he has nothing to give. Nothing to promise. For days and days it has just been him and this little world, this little day. Every ounce of future he saves up, gone in the morning. He fights it.

The thing about grief, the thing about time loops, is that you

keep

going

backwards

And day 36 is full of anger again. Anger that he has nothing but time, nothing standing in his way, nothing but the sheer loneliness of being the only person who can never move on with his life. Anger, anger, anger.

Days go by, pushed forward by anger and bargaining, the quiet hum of if I break one more thing, I’ll make it out of this. If I just hurt enough of these people, they’re not real, maybe I’ll make it out. I can apologize after.

If you let me out, I promise I’ll apologize. I promise I’ll take the time to look at the moon when it changes. I promise I’ll remember these people who have spent so much wasted time with me.

And there’s a part of grief that’s echoed there. The backsliding, the belief that in the face of your present circumstances, they’ll have to forgive you in the future. When you get out of this mess, you’ll apologize. I promise.

Eventually the anger is joined by a deep sadness, an ennui, a depression. It cycles through. Echoes the hurt promises, makes the slights seem okay again and again as the days blur and the time loops and loops and loops.

Time loops are like grief, in that eventually they both end in acceptance. They both end with acceptance. With looking back, and back and back and back and back, to the thing that started it. Back to the last normal day, and back to the promises and hurt. Back to the things he (and you) can never undo because they’ll live forever in his (your) head, and back to the things you (he) can never fix because there isn’t another soul who remembers the worst part.

Time loops are like grief because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since it’s ended, all you will ever have is the memory of hurt and rage and promises, the echoes of terrible decisions with consequences you couldn’t have thought of in the moment.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been out of the time loop, the time loop lives on in your head, and so does the grief.