#i think thats all the triggers ToT

[literalite]

mouth open, silent and blue and in the heat, it searched for you

[normal-internet-user]

Since we got the Bayverse turtles with a sibling reader , Could we possibly get the 2012 bros x Platonic! fem child Sibling reader? Perhaps the reader is a recently mutated Turtle that the turtles come across and adopt as their sibling?

EEEE YES!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!

(P.s. (R/N) means random name!)

2012 BOYS WITH A MUTATED CHILD SIBLING READER

First is backstory! Headcanons are at the bottom!

....................................

The boys were on an intel mission. A new kraang base had made its way onto their raydar, and they needed to find out what they were up to.

The last thing they expected to find was a little mutated turtle. You were so small, it hurt them to think about how you got here.

"She's just like us guys!"

"Mikey, quiet down, you're scaring her." Leo scolded him.

The blue clad leader crouched down to your level, reaching out a comforting hand and speaking in the gentlest tone he could, "Hey there, we're gonna get you out of here ok?"

You sniffled, reaching out to take his hand with your tiny one. He picked you up as carefully as possible, doing his best to sooth away your tears.

"I can check her over for injuries when we get back." Donnie said, checking to make sure the coast was clear. He nodded to the others, and the four made their way home, with you falling asleep halfway.

They entered their home, and Donnie gently took you from Leo. The action woke you up, and you started to cry, not wanting to be taken away from Leo.

Donnie quickly passed you back to his brother, and the two went to the lab so Donnie could check you for any injuries.

Raph and Mikey went to get Splinter and alert him of the new arrival. They rejoined their brothers in the Lab, their father in tow.

Master Splinter spotted you and felt a wave of nostalgia hit him. You looked just like the boys when they were tots, he approached you, and you shyed away into Leo.

"Hello there, what is your name?"

You spoke quietly, your voice was soft and timid, "Subject 05."

Splinter glanced at his sons, and they all shrugged, Raph spoke up, "We found 'er at that kraang base. Guess that's what they called 'er."

Splinter looked back at you, a gentle smiling playing in his lips, "Well if you're going be staying here, you'll need a proper name."

You looked up at him with wide eyes, "I can... stay?"

He nodded, "You can. Now how about we find you a name, hm?"

You nodded eagerly, and the boys began to toss around ideas,

"How about (R/N)?" Donnie suggested,

Raph shook his head, "Nah, let's call 'er (R/N)."

You stuck out your tounge and shook your head, and Leo looked down at you, "You don't like that one?" you shook your head again, and he hummed, "Well how about, (R/N)?"

You shook your head once again, muttering, "Uh uh."

Mikey raised his arm up high, "I got it! Let's call her (Name)!"

You thought for a second, then nodded, "I like (Name)!"

Splinter chuckled, "Well then, (Name), let's get you settled in. Welcome home."

....................................

These boys' adore you.

Thats to be expected though,

You are the baby of the family, and they definitly treat you like it.

You were a bit clumsy the first few weeks of you being there,

So Leo made you walk around wearing knee pads, elbow pads, and a helmet untill you grew out of your two left feet.

When April and Casey met you,

April was instantly slain by how adorable you were, (Casey too, but c'mon, he ain't gonna admit that.)

Casey has experience with taking care of young kids, since he has a little sister, so he babysits you often.

You even have playdates with his sister,

Ya'll are besties!

Everyone tries not to say the k-word around you, (Kraang), since it's kinda a trigger for you.

They learned that quickly and adapted to avoiding the topic around you.

One of your favorite activities is having a tea party with your dad.

When the boys are out doing their ninja things, you always have tea time with Splinter.

He starts training you as soon as you're willing,

He makes sure to pace it so as not to overwhelm you, but you are really enthusiastic about your training.

You just wanna be an awsome ninja like your brothers.

If you ever can't sleep, you'll spend some time in Donnie's lab,

He's usually up really late, so you'll keep him company while he works,

You even have your beanbag chair next to his desk.

Raph takes you with him when he and Casey go tag buildings,

You get your own little corner to paint and everything.

It always makes you happy.

Mikey likes to read to you,

It's a nightly ritual that he tells you a bedtime story, and you can't sleep without one.

Sometimes they're actual stort books,

Other times he tells you all about some of their past adventures.

Some of them water downed of course, you are stull pretty young.

Leo loves to watch cartoons with you,

All kinds.

You guys have daily Space Heros marathons.

Even when you grow up.

You'll never say no to Leo when he asks if you want to watch Soace Heros.

April helps Donnie homeschool you.

You don't really like lessons, you think it's boring, but you sit through them without complaining because of how excited Donnie is to teach you stuff.

April is really just there to help you understand certain things while also making sure Donnie doesn't go overboard and try to teach you something like honors chemistry.

Obviously they have a lot of enemies,

So they do their best to keep you a secret from them.

Obviously the kraang will want their test subject back,

And there is no way in hell this family is letting that happen.

If anything ever happened the entire Hamato clan would burn down heaven and hell to get you back.

And that is not a threat.

It's a promise.

.........................................

All done! @gal-with-pastels I hope you enjoyed my friend!

[cl0udysky111]

so if anyone knows ab my hospital trip, heres an update coz its been a couple days:

they didnt w3igh me T.T

i gained 0.4 kil0s for nothing. it feels like such a waste and yea obv i feel gross about it

but on a way im nowhere near as upset as i would be any other time? coz like i would rather be back at my sw then be put in r3c, and thats saying A LOT. so i think the ga1n was justified even tho it wasnt needed yknow?

anyways, i got back and it all went well, and i was like 'ok great now i can lock in and loose it all and get to my goal asap'

lmao imagine

obviously i got stuck in a b1nge mindset, i had eaten a ton before the trip and it practically doubled my appetite... i think i b1ng3d like 500 AFTER the trip at like 8pm :/

and then the day after (yesterday) i thought id be locked in suddenly but duhh i b1ng3d again, even worse so thats a ton of fun

but todays actually been really good!! ive walked about 15k steps today and only had high protein things to eat, and i finally got more protein bars and my favs, ♡ Kvarg ♡

also i tried out a new workout routine where i basically quadruple my current workouts, and it really worked well!! im so happy about that omggg <33

i havent w31ghed today coz i couldnt before eating, so idk about cw, but im gonna l1mit myself in ways that wont trigger b1ng3s ♡

wish me luck, im trying to be at my gw before my holiday starts ToT

[ddontyyoukknow]

Life of a scared girl. I look around me an am constantly lookig for examples of what o. want to be and how ai wan tot change becasue ive never beenable to jsut be. jus tbe happy with who i am and where i am i ahe been in a perpatual state of nagging at myself and of being unhappy with myself. when it snot with myself its with my surroundings. and i canst jsut let it go and not think about it becua i comes back pretty consistatly. so i become obsessed and overanalyze. im ike a scientist dissecting myself. why must i act so? and i jusge myself so so harshly. i dont let myself be. I overanalyze and i become paralyzed. oveanaylyzing kills all joy and freedom. i decide i must be a robot i must act only basad ona. scheuale in order ot be the most productiv epossiboe in order to reach my goals. yet i forget that the only reason i want these goals is becasue i think ill be happy if i have them. that feeling. becasue i know proving things ot other people means nothing i mam only tryiong to be tryilu hsppy in my heart. and my heart wants enough money to eat out when i want and to affored rent and to be able to only paint and hang out with my friends that what i want my life to be. a nd thats hwat i think happiness is. but in isolation, that feeing is reachable right now. I can be happy right now for i am blessed. i do not want to dilute myself int o being a consumption monster and forget all the luxuries i ge to lavish in. that is bliss. that is happniess. not to forget how abundanct i really am and pretend i am not. and so i rememebr that. and so ia am happy. adn so then i get triggered and the rotten thought infect my brain completley unpercicved. like ti dont notice. like they are at home when they arrive and i dont even notice. and then im mad im unhappy im in comaplianmode again of mysef of the world until i become bitter and shut down and off. i think in my youth when this would be the time i would have suididal thoughts my brain never did, becuase my dad would joke about people who did. he would see them as weak and low life. and since all i really wanted was his attention it didnt seem like it woupd even help. like why cant you take off your suit and really see me. im right here needing you. you've never really seen me. all you see if youself and you hate that. thats why you never treated me like a daughter only ever like a son. i reminded you too much of youself. i was not docile as a young lady ought to be. and so you hated that. you didnt hate me but you were hard pressed to act like you did care. when i wrote the zine to leo i put a line about you in there because i knew you would never read it. and maybe because i was amaericanized did i ever come to expect something liek that of you becasue in amaerican culture parents coddle their kids. i dont think either clture is right or wrong i jus tthink i was confused adn ti think i also have the option to just tell you you're mentioned in it. but you wouldnt like it. that why i dont tell you and thats why the two culture are different. In our cuture we have a superiority complex with the parents when i wish you coudl just see me for me for a second. like stand on mym level and not act all high and mighty like tyou know it allk adn i dont know anything. giv eme my place, i wan tot be rich so you can finally maybe see me as a person just like you. not less than. so i cant tak to you and you werent reating me like you neede to give me advice. just isten. and i wis i culd commmunicat ethis with you without you seeing it as an attack. the eggshells around you are plentiful. and you live to hear a crack. thats what youre attuned to. and thats the cycle. fine. trigger. bad. and when im bad i feel ike the whole worls had concanved aorunf me. i dont see an out. and at somepoint i find it. time varies but most of the time im in a werid fluxuating state where my conciousness doesnt decide what leg im standing on so in one hour my state of mind goes from neutral to worried to anxious to hopeful to happy to sad to stressed to nautral to hopeful over and over. it slike im fighting for my

[xxpool-of-blades-n-bloodxx]

My thoughts about this - Earning Your Keep//Don Williams x FTM/NB Listener

There are mature themes, so yea

So yea, here a link cuz it will contain spoilers

I will talk about parts that I had problems or I just wanna comment on things that made me cringe and pissed off hahah

So when the listener talks about the diner that they work (which is the player job) and then talks about this lady/bragger/nagger/bitch and this part made me cringe so hard that makes me feel like a grandpa

I mean when I will giggle at that but not sharing the same sexual tense like...I be like "hahaha oki :3" kill me

Now it's hella cringe for me

Then listener had a yap fest and then and this and that and this one

I mean, I usually called him daddy, land daddy or Mr don but not sir hahaa

But this smut/lemon fanfic is total bull so yea

"yea, you like it when I call you daddy, bitch!~ ;))"

Oki, then they (or we) makeout and goes to don messy apartment or office then slap my ass (ouchie :"( then this and more adult themes

Then....this makes me question

WHAT THE FUXK WAS THAT!? LIKE WHY THEY SAY THAT!? THATS SO FUXKING RANDOM LIKE, IM ACTUALLY A QUIET PERSON IRL

I would just let him kiss or lick my neck or some shit not "your son is older than me ahahhaaa" BRO AND THIS AS WELL

BRO TOLD ME TO SHUT THE FUXK UP LIEK IF THIS WAS ME

I won't say anything and then don won't tell me to stfu

Bruuuuhhhh ToT idk why and this one as well

This is an reference to that one comic where Y/N joke hope someone will butt sex during their sleep then don heard that shit and thinks about it

Which I do found it funny then this fuxking ruined it

Idk why most fanfic that involves readers/listeners having cute pajamas like

I don't wear pj that much and it's not even cute like it's just a Freddy fazbear heads pj pants and a FNAF shirt like nothing cute about that

I don't wear pastel pj shit, that ain't my style and bro, if don ripped my FNAF pj pants (can't believe I'm saying this but) I will beat the shit outta him if he does like you don't mess with my FNAF stuff

Touch it or die

Then he grabs my hand and touch his crotch that feels familiar......

And that and yap fest more

And then....this really triggered me uwu

Yea....you just unlocked my trauma from middle school

I mean, this supposed to meant for bolder readers/listeners but....I got triggered by that word.....I don't like being called a slvt....

And then this

Idk how stupid the listener is (no wonder this post got deleted it lol) like I won't go quiet, I will enjoy the fuxking ride and all

As long he won't called me a slvt

Then I wanna kick his stomach and kick him some more hahahaha

YOU DON'T MAKE FUN OF VIRGINS (yes I'm virgin, makes sense now? :3)

SHUT UP F4G1T or I kill you uwu oh wait that's canon :3

Hahaha

So my thoughts on this is...well, when I first read it I like it and give it a 8.5/10 cuz I don't like the slvt naming

But now is 3/10

Like, I really hate the slvt word, it give me triggering past, and this not a DDLG which I called bullshit on that cuz there is hint of that

So yea.... terrible job mate :Db

[actualbird]

Read your analysis PDF. Overall, I agree with your points. Except with Vyn/Marius being selfless "not wanting bad things happen to you too". Tbh, both of their ways to take control are very unhealthy, it would lead to narcissistic manipulative relationship. Since I suffered that kind of relationship in previous one, everytime I have to complete Vyn/Marius stories for S-chips, it always triggers my trauma. Especially everytime they order/dictate MC (or me) around to not do specific things.

hello, anon! thanks for reading my compilation!

this is quite a serious ask, so im putting aside my usual lightheartedness to answer this seriously as well.

first off, im so, so sorry you were in that kind of relationship in the past. i really hope that youre in a better place now surrounded by better people and that any relationship/s in the future you have are ones that value you fully as a person with agency.

if vyn and marius stories are triggering your past trauma, i would advise that you dont read the stories. ingame virtual currency is less important than your mental wellbeing, but thats just my advice because i too dont want to dictate what you do as well. i dont want to dictate what anybody does or thinks

that being said, my PDF compilation of tot analyses is not positing itself as something to be agreed with by all people. and i don't want it to dictate what anybody thinks too.

like i mentioned in the foreword, everything within there is comprised of my own thoughts and interpretations. it's something i made because i enjoy it, something i posted because many people who follow me also enjoy it, and also it is free. the nature of fandom is we're all doing this stuff out of a passion for creating things and none of us are required to create something thats going to ring true for everybody because everybody is different.

i could debate with you here. it's outlined in my head and everything with all my points and how to execute them but then i realized that 1) thats not gonna get either of us anywhere and 2) it's not the kind thing to do.

i dont want to "convince" you that vyn or marius arent like that because you interpret them like that and at the end of the day, your experience is what matters the most in regards to how you play this game and how you interact with the fandom around it. to try and convince you of a different view, especially given what youve told me, would be dismissive of both you and what youve been through.

the corollary, however, is also true: you as well do not have to convince me of your point either because i have interpreted these characters in a way that is indicative of my views and my experience. different people will see stories and characters in different ways.

i hope this answer is clear! and also that it doesnt come off as rudely or angry, because im not angry omg. i was just surprised by this ask and i wanted to lay everything out in my head.

thank you again for taking the time to read what i wrote!

[yoli-cu-capsune]

brain dump

duminica, 10 aprilie, 2022

nu ce dzevaciki.

nici nu stiu de unde sa incep. but i might fucked things with ion. destul. de. tare.

gura mea mare nu poate sa se inchida. destul de ironic considerand ca i have this communication blockage.

tacs. sa purcedem.

acus se fac 2 luni de cand il stiu pe ion. si in timpul perioadei aceste de timp. i was happy as a puppy. inca nu suntem oficiali si probabil won’t be vapse. thats a story for another time tho.

m-am scapat cu vorba la prea multi oameni ca ne intalnim as in dating. si tot in acelasi timp i got the right definition of dating - aparent when ur official it counts as dating lolzz. i wanna die of awkwardness. SUKA.

si uite ieri imi spune ca a azuit de la maria cum sabina i-a povestiti cum ne inatlnim, suntem impreuna, etc. la o masa rotunda cu mai multi oameni chiar si din scoala lui ion. si um yea

deja ii imposibil sa vezi ce si cum o vorbit si barfit.

blya i am so naive at times. and act like a kid.

ma simt rau ca l-am pus in situatia asta.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

in a way mi-i rusine de el acum.

i think hes not that mad.

but

this fuck up triggers me.

si parca vreau sa ma distantez acum

so that i dont get hurt

not a good idea indeed.

si ma tin sa nu fac asta. i need to put an end to all of my past behaviours.

suka.

also my libra mars is such a bitch.

ma simt ca o sliuha. vorbind despre oameni si neavand o opinie concreta despre nimeni in particular.

blyadi.

help.

i dont want to fuck this up even more.

pe de o parte as vrea sa ma trimita in pula

would be easier this way.

dar hz si ce-i cu mine .

putting in the effort is hard.

si trebuie sa fiu sincer cu el. im horrible at lying. horrible.

i would like to die.

thanks for coming to my ted talk

crying and throwing up atm.

see ya.

[ofstaffs]

rey: rey will be like 'ah..... so UR the one my best friend is fucking but like not right'

steve: or peggy

rey: rey will be like 'wait is that a mirror nope ur a different person ok hi'

steve: u know vision could pick up the mjolnir so why cant rey

steve: she got the force

rey: REY SHOULD DO IT WITH EASE AND STEEB AND TORE WOULD JUS T BE THERE LIKE '........wut'

rey: and then shes like 'hAH tricks on u ive got the force, bitches'

steve: can rey and ben join the avengers thx

rey: rey would ruin all the undercover stuff

steve: GUYS http://www.cinemablend.com/new/An-Avenge...

rey: she cant work the sweatshirt, sunglasses, and hat

rey: bYE

thor: the instant steve announced the challenge, thor tore his way through the ballpit and lunged after him, mere seconds behind. the very first tunnel proved to be a challenge in and of itself, however. huffing out a frustrated breath, thor awkwardly half-shimmied, half-crawled through. "these tunnels weren't made for asgardians, that much is clear." by the time he finally made it through the other side of his fifth tunnel, his chest was heaving with exertion and the sides of his arms were bright red from squeezing through the tunnel walls. "i surrender," he called out grudgingly. without warning, he collapsed onto his back in the middle of the tunnel, thankful that this one was at least made up of some type of rope rather than the hard plastic of the others.

thor: rip thor

thor: CROSSO VE R OH MY GKSL

steve: rey drag him with ur jakku junk dragger™

thor: LOL nah she can just climb over his corpse it's ok

steve: I WAS TRYING TO FIND A PIC OF THE JUNK DRAGGER AND I FOUND THIS http://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/...

rey: rey immediately got into competitive mode as soon as steve brought up the challenge. within moments, she was crawling through the holes and squeezing past crevices with ease. scavenging in small areas helped with that, along with her tiny body. unfortunately, an irregular diet helped with /that/. but finally she slipped through the last tunnel and came out victoriously, holding her arms up. "i win!" she grinned happily. then she laughed as she saw that thor was stuck, and moved quickly to him, placing her hands on her hips. "maybe if you weren't so strong, this wouldn't be happening," she teased.

steve: LIKE OMF

rey: no shell just go cuddle him

steve: IT LOOKS SO REAL

rey: WTF I THOUGHT THAT WAS REAL AT FIRST

thor: OH DANG WTF

thor: IT DOES LOOK REAL

steve: steve took a seat in the cube area that connected two tunnels, letting rey pass him up. even for a super soldier it was really hard. he got a glimpse of thor laying in the center of a rope tunnel. as soon as rey announced her victory, steve found a slide by the next tunnel up. he even slid down it defeatedly. "i'm too old for this." the avenger mumbled as he got to the bottom of the slide, which ended a few feet from rey. if laser tag included narrow passages, then he would be on his way to the area where the parents sat earlier.

steve: cap is #done

steve: i love how thor and steve can beat the fuck out of huge robots and space dragons but fail at playgrounds

rey: LOL I LOVE THEM

rey: ok i think kayla passed out and im about to too rip

rey: well def continue tomorrow tho omg

steve: same

steve: night!!

rey: night fam

steve joined the chat 21 hours ago

thor was timed out 19 hours ago

thor joined the chat 15 hours ago

thor left the chat 14 hours ago

steve joined the chat 12 hours ago

steve: im lowkey here

rey was timed out 9 hours ago

rey joined the chat 8 hours ago

rey: I'm low key here now omg

rey: i should be around for a little while

steve joined the chat 8 hours ago

steve joined the chat 8 hours ago

steve joined the chat 8 hours ago

steve: hello!!

rey: HELLO

steve joined the chat 7 hours ago

rey: HI

thor joined the chat 6 hours ago

thor: I PASSED OUT LAST NIGHT RIP ME

thor: thankfully, thor recovered swiftly. he had no intention of navigating his way through the godforsaken tunnels to get out, however. "my strength is not the problem," he informed rey, eyes glinting as he realized exactly how he could escape this monstrosity. rolling over onto his stomach, he grabbed hold of the ropes directly below him and forcefully pulled them apart. they surrendered easily to his strength, the tunnel giving out underneath him in a matter of seconds. landing in a crouch, he shot rey a grin. "see? these fragile midgardian materials cannot hold the mighty thor."

thor: thor has no chill tbh

steve: im dying

thor: don't die omg what will america do without u???

thor: RAI WHERE R U

thor was timed out 3 hours ago

thor joined the chat 3 hours ago

thor joined the chat 2 hours ago

rey: IM SO SORRY I WAS AT A GAME RIP

rey: IM MOBILE FOR A BIT

thor: IT'S OK OMG DID U HAVE FUN

rey: YAS SO MUCH

thor joined the chat 2 hours ago

thor: WAIT WHAT KIND OF GAME WAS IT

rey rey giggled in admiration as she watched thor literally rip the ropes apart, and land in a crouching position. then she met up with steve and shook her head. "no..." she complained dejectedly, reaching her hands out to him. "we-we still have the trampolines. and-and laser tag!" she grinned, hoping to get his spirits up.

rey: I MANAGE FOR BOYS VOLLEYBALL AT MY SCHOOL

thor: OMG REALLY?? THATS SO COOL

rey: YA ITS FUN

thor: i suggest a rey/thor laser tag team-up against steve

thor joined the chat 109 minutes ago

rey: YES PLS

rey joined the chat 93 minutes ago

rey: iM HERE ON A COMPUTER BLESS UP

thor joined the chat 90 minutes ago

thor: NICE 2 bad steeb's missing :////

rey: fml ik

rey: i messaged mia tho

thor: gosh does she have a life or something?? RUDE

rey: yA WTF IS UP WITH THAT

rey: IM GETTING TO THE MEME U SENT ME NOW RIP

thor joined the chat 87 minutes ago

thor: OMG OK BUT DONT KILL ME WITH CUTENESS AGAIN THANKS

rey: NO PROMISES THO

thor: OH GR8

rey: brb dinner ayy

steve: HEY BITCHES

thor: aYYYYY IT'S STEEB THE DWEEB

steve: steve hoisted himself up from the slide, joining rey and a crouching thor. he had no idea what a laser tag was or why they'd let children play it, but he proceeded to agree anyway. the laser tag facility was unlike anything he had ever seen. the room was pitch black, aside from the various neon obstacles and graffiti on the walls. there were staircases leading to ramps above the floor. there were guns, presumably 'lasers', lining the wall next to the entrance. steve grabbed a laser, before tossing two to rey and thor.

steve

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8pmB7nlC9mI

i watched this shit

thor: omfg i admire ur devotion sm

thor: thor caught the weapon effortlessly, though he held it slightly away from himself in wary consideration. it appeared to be of the same style as most other midgardian weapons, yet they were used for games? reminding himself that steve was the one handing them over – so it couldn't be /that/ harmful – he wrapped his hands more securely around the gun in preparation for battle. leaning close to rey, he murmured, "join forces with me?"

thor: rip steve

steve: https://49.media.tumblr.com/e0a9dce6eefe...

thor: LMFAO

thor: get out ben, this ain't ur battle

steve: if ben found out this was happening he would be like http://66.media.tumblr.com/a95daaf244c20...

thor: LOL BEN OMG CALM DOWN

rey: IM HERE

rey: IM H ER EE

rey: FCK

thor: FIN ALLY

rey: HUSH

thor: NO

steve: HI

rey rey followed steve up the stairs, making sure thor was there behind her, then giggled excitedly at the pitch black play area. she carefully caught the laser gun he tossed her, grunting slightly at the force, then looked up as thor leaned down beside her. she giggled silently, hand going over her mouth, and nodded her head swiftly. "let's do it," she whispered back, then winked and moved to steve. "okay, let's spread out first. i'll start our guns with the panel on the wall. then we go. agreed?"

rey: HI BABE

steve: steve caught a glimpse of the two whispering out of the corner of his eye. he was too busy trying to scope out the area to realize what was going on. "okay." cap spoke as he zeroed in on the perfect spot. as soon as their guns were activated, the avenger was bolting up the stairs to the first hanger. the ramp was dark so soon enough he lost sight of the two. he kept his gun on the rail in true assassin fashion, ready to shoot at the friends.

steve: steve learned his moves from bucky ))

steve: wtF IS THAT THING

rey: thE EMOJI OMF

rey:

thor: tHE EMOJIS LMAO

steve: steve, finding out his friends are t8rs:

steve: tr8s***

rey: t8r tots

thor: "agreed." thor slid his finger over the trigger, readying himself. it didn't surprise him when steve was the first to take off as soon as rey gave the signal. considering his history as a soldier, thor had opted to take on an ally against him for that very reason. with one last nod at rey, he began navigating his way after steve as quietly as a man of his build could manage. it was much too dark, however, and thor soon found himself using one of the several odd glowing pillars for cover as his gaze scanned the area for signs of movement.

thor: T8R TOTS

thor: delish

rey "okay, ready? go!" rey shouted to them once they were all dispersed, using the force to start up the panel that gave their guns power. she began running along, mainly for cover at first, and ducked expertly behind walls using her stealthy silence. soon, she saw steve on the second floor and grinned to herself, running up the back stairs. she stayed ducked behind a wall, but stuck her gun out just enough to zero in on her target, and shoot rapidly at him, the sound effects going off.

rey: LOL

thor: GET HIM REY GET HIM

rey: if ben and rey ever played laser tag, shed get v emotional bc she tried to go after him with a gun on takodana rip

thor: sudden feels

steve: steve caught a glimpse of someone shuffling behind a pillar below. his finger snuck down to the trigger, slowly but surely ready to shoot the target. alas, his grand moment was ruined when laser beams sounded off behind him. he expected thor to be the one behind the shots, but he was faced with rey crouching behind a wall below. "rey, you traitor!" the super soldier exclaimed, surprisingly offended by her actions. he took off down the stairs determined to take her down.

rey: feel trip

steve: pft ben wouldn't go into the laser tag room, the darkness is too ~tempting~

rey: 'Does Rey call you Daddy ' riP

rey: the darkness works with his aesthetic tho

steve: wtF

rey: YEP U GOT US SHE SO DOES

steve: i don gettit

thor: the commotion from nearby, quickly followed by steve's shout, brought a grin to thor's face. remaining in place, he cocked his head and listened closely for the careless series of telltale stomps down the stairs as steve searched for his victim. alas, thor fully intended to protect his ally. as soon as he heard the other man moving passed his pillar, thor lunged out from behind it, sound effects deafening the quiet as he unloaded a series of shots directly at steve. "hide, rey!"

thor: oMG i saw that ask & i screamed

rey rey couldn't stop laughing as she ran as fast as she could away from steve, tripping over her own feet every now and then, though she allowed herself a break as she heard thor's gun go off, meaning he found steve. now was her chance. she ran up the stairs steve had been on earlier and crouched behind a wall again, then fired her gun... at thor. she fired shot after shot, right when he least expected it, then turned her gun on steve as well, continuing to laugh as she nailed them both. "sorry, i had to trick ya!"

steve: the confusion on his face was absolutely priceless as rey shot at them both. he was unbelievably aggrieved that the two had teamed up against him, but then this? steve didn't spare the laughing girl a look before lifting his laser and shooting it at her. "number one rule of war, skywalker: never get distracted on the battlefield."

steve

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-i99TPwXSoM

steve rn

rey: HAHAHAHAHAH

rey: OMFG

thor: his own ally had turned on him. when steve turned his own weapon on her in return, thor used it as cover, swiftly moving to circle around rey. it would have been a prime opportunity to shoot her again, but she deserved far worse than that. throwing an arm around her waist, he lifted her off her feet and draped her over his shoulder. "no more fun," he announced in a cheerful tone as he casually made his way back to the captain. "rogers, how do you punish traitors on this planet?"

rey "hey!" rey gasped as steve shot her, moving to run away again, then shrieked and laughed hard as thor picked her up and laid her across his shoulder, kicking her feet playfully. her gun slipped out of her hands in the midst of all the fighting, and she was laughing even harder as they approached steve, crossing her arms stubbornly. "not fair!"

rey: i shouldve had her say 'spank me, daddy'

steve: NO

thor: oMF G

rey: o ya

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thor: http://images.idakoos.com/B0220000BL0000...

rey: oh my og od

rey: oh my og od

steve: "well, it usually goes something like.." steve pretended to stroke his chin in thought, before deciding on a torture method. "tickling. lots of it. it worked on the nazis every time." the captain joked lightly, letting his gun clatter to the floor beside him. "tickling on a trampoline seems pretty brutal to me."

steve: pcE

steve: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236...

rey: nO RAI IS SO TICKLISH SHE WILL START CRYING

rey: stop

rey: SOTP*

steve: can u imagine derek walking in one two burly blonde dudes tickling tf out of his gf

rey: ON A TRAMPOLINE

steve: can u imagine thor and cap on a trampoline like girl

rey: yum

rey: ive gotta go yeet to the shower after i do this next reply

thor: "tickling it is." tossing his weapon onto the floor as well, thor then turned on his heel and began making his way for wherever the 'trampolines' were. eventually, he managed to find them – and stepped onto the closest one without even hesitating. instantly the unstable, bouncy terrain threw him off-balance, and his grasp on rey loosened as he fell onto his back. as soon as his head stopped spinning, he spoke dryly, "/this/ is supposed to be fun?"

thor: prepare 4 me 2 randomly pass out again as soon as u shower xoxo

rey: omg ill try 2 hurry rip

rey "no, no, no!" rey protested and shook her head swiftly, knowing how ticklish she was, and laughed again as thor carried her to the trampolines, though she gasped as well as he fell, allowing her to break free from his hold. "yeah, it's so much fun! look!" she giggled and began jumping up and down, reaching her hands out to steve.

thor: if u guys would just move to the superior east coast this wouldn't be a probLEM

rey: OK BRB

steve: ive never been to the east coast i am down

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rey: I AM BACK

rey: WAS THAT FAST ENOUGH

rey: OR NO

rey: WHERE DID U ALL GO

rey: WHAT

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steve: im heeree

rey: friEND

rey: I LEFT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES DID THIS PLACE DIE OR SMTH

steve: steve's left angle gave out beneath him on the canvas of the trampoline. he stumbled a bit before finding his footing. as soon as rey approached him, he reached his hands out to attack her ribs. he began to tickle her, seizing her jumping movements

steve: idK YOU LEFT AND THEN KAYLA LEFT SO I WAS LIKE OK PCE

rey: i tolD U WEHRE I WAS GO ING

steve: MAYBE SHE FELL ASLEEP IDK

rey: GDI

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thor: I FELL ASLEEP AGAIN IM S ORRY

rey: LAAAAME

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rey: ayyyy

thor: ayyy hello ur fav sleepaholic is here

rey: LOL

thor: upon carefully finding his footing (which proved immensely more difficult when rey was bouncing all over the place) thor stepped over to join the pair engaged in a one-sided tickle fight. bending his knees a couple of times in a test bounce, he glanced down at rey with undeniable smugness. "i would help you, but this is your rightful fate after betraying me." and if asgardians were good at anything, it was holding grudges.

thor: i love how we're all rarely on at the same time lmao

rey: thats so tru

thor: REY MEETING LOKI THO

rey "no!" rey shrieked as steve began tickling her, causing her to completely lose her footing. his hands were the only things holding her up now, and she was laughing so hard it was almost silent. and thor wasn't helping. time to pull the guilt card. "ow, steve. /ow/," she winced, hand going to her ribs, where he had bruised her from hugging her too hard. "it hurts, stop..."

rey: rey u bitch

rey: I K NOW

rey: WE PLOTTED SOME THINGS MWAHAHAH

thor: YOU WHAT OMG IM AFRAID

rey: BE AFRAID

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steve: WAS GOOD

steve: steve withdrawled his hands with a mortified look on his face. how could he forget? that bruise was bound to be there, and worse than it was before. "i'm so sorry," the avenger gushed. his apology was a little humorous due to the way he swayed back and forth on the trampoline.

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thor: hOW DO WE ALWAYS MISS EACH OTHER WTF

thor: thor's earlier amusement quickly turned into a whirlwind of confusion and concern. while steve withdrew, the asgardian lowered himself to a crouch beside rey, his hand tentatively enveloping her shoulder. "what happened?" his eyes scanned the girl for injuries before snapping to his fellow avenger accusingly. "did his tickles harm you?"

steve: im here

thor: SUP

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rey: riP

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rey: IM SRY

rey rey bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. the bruise was already almost gone, and she wasn't hurt at all. she just liked to mess with her boys. as thor asked his question, the smile finally spread across her cheeks as she shook her head, easily rising to her feet and bouncing up and down a bit. "actually, i'm feeling a lot better," she giggled and winked before bouncing away as she laughed even harder, knowing they'd want to get their revenge. "gotcha!"

thor: thor picked himself up off the ground, reaching up and patting the back of his head in the process. the bun still held. huh. it really did hold better thanks to rey's superior method. "if anyone attempts to arrest us, i'll stop them," he replied with confidence. narrowing his eyes in rey's direction, he added, "besides, i don't wish to ever come back here again. it will only remind me of betrayal."

rey at the mention of getting arrested again, rey's smile immediately disappeared as she stopped her bouncing, fidgeting with her fingers nervously. she felt slightly more relieved at thor's promise of keeping them out of jail, nodding her head. then she moved to thor and couldn't help but wrap her arms around him, still overall grateful that he would even think about stopping people from arresting them. she couldn't do that again. "thank you..." she whispered, then reached a hand out to steve.

thor: thor picked himself up off the ground, reaching up and patting the back of his head in the process. the bun still held. huh. it really did hold better thanks to rey's superior method. "if anyone attempts to arrest us, i'll stop them," he replied with confidence. narrowing his eyes in rey's direction, he added, "besides, i don't wish to ever come back here again. it will only remind me of betrayal."

rey at the mention of getting arrested again, rey's smile immediately disappeared as she stopped her bouncing, fidgeting with her fingers nervously. she felt slightly more relieved at thor's promise of keeping them out of jail, nodding her head. then she moved to thor and couldn't help but wrap her arms around him, still overall grateful that he would even think about stopping people from arresting them. she couldn't do that again. "thank you..." she whispered, then reached a hand out to steve.

steve: "don't worry about getting arrested." the captain shot a smile to rey. "rey has the force. she can get us out of everything." he spoke highly of the girl, grasping her palm in his.

thor: though thor was supposed to be annoyed with her, he couldn't help but soften as her small arms wrapped around him. he enveloped her in one of his own in return, rubbing one of her shoulders. "the force?" he repeated, brows furrowing. "she is tiny. what force could she have?"

rey "...if snoke doesn't get in my way..." rey replied quietly in a pessimistic manner, glancing shyly up at steve. then she clasped onto his hand before looking up at thor, smiling softly. "the force surrounds us all. it controls... basically everything. watch," she whispered then turned to the ball pit, lifting her free hand up. but nothing was happening. "...no," she breathed out, shaking her head as she tried again and again to at least make one of the small, colored balls levitate. "no, no, no..." she could feel its absence in her mind, in her heart. with snoke so strong now, it was hard to keep in touch with it. "steve, i-i can't- it's gone..."

steve: snoke. he had heard that name before.. it was the sith lord who invaded rey's brain. the captain moved closer to her, bending down slightly to get a better look at her. "are you alright?" he pressed. at times like this, he wished wanda was here to help.

thor: if the force surrounded them all, thor had no idea how he'd never sensed it before. he watched, captivated, as rey seemed to be attempting to do something –– but failed. "what's gone? the force?" thor looked back and forth between steve and rey, faintly irritated over his lack of understanding. instinctively, his arm tightened around her shoulders, pulling her in closer. "we will help you find it."

rey rey looked into steve's eyes nervously as he ducked his head down to look at her, much like derek did when she was upset about something. "it-it doesn't hurt yet, but i can't... i can't focus on doing it," she whispered, wrapping her arms around thor again as he hugged her. then she nodded her head and stepped back as she took a deep breath, thinking about the hope that both steve and her new friend, thor, had for her. she closed her eyes and held her hand up again, focusing as hard as she could. when she opened her eyes, only one ball had popped out of the pit, and rolled a few inches on the ground, then stopped. she sighed heavily and buried her face in her hands, hoping she wasn't losing touch with the force for good.

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ur favorite grandpa joined the chat 2 days ago

ur favorite grandpa changed name to thor

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steve: steve smiled gently as the ball rolled forward. he knew it must have took a lot to persevere with snoke inside of her mind. "don't get upset." the avenger chastised the girl. "you just need to.. find the force again. is there anyone who can help you?" he knew that rey had multiple family members in magnolia. they had to be able to help her, someway or somehow. "could we help you?"

thor: a ball levitated in midair, seemingly doing so as a result of rey's concentration. thor barely heard steve as the man spoke, too busy gaping at the ball in newfound fascination. an amazed laugh escaped him. "did you move that with your mind?" he turned to face rey, eyes dancing with enthusiasm over what he had just witnessed. "is this the force? i did not realize you were capable of something so incredible." after a pause in which the solemn mood washed over him, he added, "if you could do that, then the force is still within you. you haven't lost it."

rey rey turned sheepishly towards the two again, nodding her head to steve. but then, noting thor's reaction, her own expression lightened slightly, her shoulders straightening. "r-really...?" she whispered, feeling more reassured by the way he was so interested in her force skills. "as-as long as snoke's here, i don't think i can get any better..." she mumbled to steve and stepped back. in fact, she could feel him coming now. she opened her mouth to explain it to them, but just turned and moved off the trampolines onto the floor, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

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steve: "don't say that." steve called after rey as jumped off the trampoline. he looked at thor before following after her. surely this snoke guy could be stopped. they've dealt with aliens before, what made this one so different? "what can we do to help?"

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thor: the mention of snoke nearly drew a low growl from thor's throat. the idea of an unseen opponent harming someone like rey right beside him while he was powerless to do anything to stop it was beyond upsetting, to say the least. "there must be a way to track him," thor added as he trailed after steve, worried gaze on rey's back. "if i know where he is, i can put a stop to this. even if he has armies, they will not stop me."

rey rey buried her face in her hands now and sniffed, trying to push him out of her mind as much as possible. but it wasn't necessarily simple. at the first small pain, she winced and jumped slightly, hands dropping to her mouth. "no, no, no, no..." she murmured under her breath as she began to tremble, pleading for him to leave her mind. then there was another, sharper pain and rey tucked her knees to her chest, beginning to rock back and forth.

steve: steve dove to his knees as soon as rey fell. "hey, hey," he cooed, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. he knew whatever she was feeling or seeing was much like what they went through when wanda brainwashed them. if not worse. he felt a intense need to protect his best friend. "it's gonna be okay, rey. i love you. stay with us," he cooed, rubbing her back as his heart hammered in his chest.

thor: it appeared steve and rey were even closer than thor originally suspected. the revelation did little to ease the tension in his muscles as he began circling restlessly around the pair, hands curling into fists as he itched to summon his prized weapon and smash something, anything. "we must help her," he finally said, stopping to glare at steve. "there must be a way. think of something."

rey rey clasped her hands over her ears and began to cry as she buried her face in his chest, but managed to murmur, "i-i love y-you too..." through her sobs. just so he knew how appreciative she really was of his kind, caring heart. her hands moved about until they landed on thor's chest, curling her fingers into his shirt and holding it tightly, tugging him closer. another sharp pain caused her to shriek and weep even harder, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

steve: "you're the one from space." steve gritted his teeth, trying to focus on the girl falling apart before him. she was in excruciating pain by the looks of it, and it killed him not being able to stop it. "rey, listen to me. is there anything we can do? what makes it hurt less?" the usual put together soldier was now stumbling over his words in an attempt to help his friend.

thor: thor allowed himself to be pulled closer, teeth grinding together as he fought to keep his rage against an invisible foe in check. his temper wouldn't help, especially not when the likes of even steve rogers was losing his cool. "i could take her to asgard," he said slowly. "our healers may lessen her pain while we search for answers." assuming everyone on asgard cooperated and sought to help her as much as he did.

rey "d-derek..." was the first thing rey choked out. he usually helped her after a snoke episode. by... doing exactly what steve and thor were doing now. holding her. talking to her. maybe things would be okay. she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on clearing her mind, like anakin and ben taught her, attempting to push out all thoughts of anything dark. instead she focused on memories of derek. of ben, of steve, of thor, everyone. and slowly, gradually, she calmed down, eyes finally fluttering open. he was leaving. he was smart enough to pick his battles, rey was sure, and probably couldn't fight this one.

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steve: steve's jaw clenched at the mention of derek, but he quickly shook his rage off to focus on rey. her body noticeably let up moments later. he retracted his arms once he knew she was alright. "how often does this happen?"

thor: the unfamiliar name made thor frown, glancing at steve for answers – only to find an odd expression awaiting on the man's face for a split second. dislike? mentally tucking it away, he refocused on rey. where steve moved back, the asgardian leaned forward, slipping his arms beneath rey and lifting her effortlessly into his arms. steve already asked the question on his mind, so he remained quiet, merely looking down at her with expectance.

rey rey's arms slid easily around thor's neck, noticing how he didn't even flinch when lifting her small body. she really was curious to know how strong they both were. "it's-it's been happening more often than not lately..." she admitted in a whisper, rubbing at her eyes with her fists then returning her arms around thor's neck as she looked into steve's eyes. "i-i'm okay, though... please don't tell derek, i don't want him to worry. please."

steve: "do you know how to get to this snoke person?" his tone was firm and assertive, much like the one he reserved for the avengers. he ignored her question about derek and continued with the questions. "can your family help you at all?"

steve: "do you know how to get to this snoke person?" his tone was firm and assertive, much like the one he reserved for the avengers. he ignored her question about derek and continued with the questions. "can your family help you at all?"

thor: there was that name again. derek. thor's eyes narrowed in annoyance over not knowing yet another piece of information in the rapidly developing mystery of rey. at least the captain was back in action, a small silver lining. "if she knew where snoke was or if her family could help, i'd wager she would have already said as much by now." looking back and forth between the pair, he added, "who is this 'derek'?"

rey "/no/," rey snapped in frustration, mostly at herself for not being able to rid of the sith lord. "just-just forget it, he's gone now..." she mumbled, then closed her eyes again at the mention of derek. now she really missed him. she took a few deep breaths to keep the tears from filling her eyes, then rose to her feet shakily, one hand still in thor's, and the other in steve's. "i-i don't wanna dwell on snoke anymore... not tonight... please? i need a break...'

steve: "her boyfriend." steve answered curtly as rey let out her frustration. he couldn't understand how she could try to move on from something like that. his grip on her palm was loose. "what do you want to do?" he looked around, mentally checking off everything they had done. ball pit, check. playground, check. laser tag, check. trampoline, check. "i saw a game room near the front?"

thor: for a long moment, thor didn't move, only staring hard at the captain. if derek was rey's lover, why was steve so visibly displeased by the very mention of him? thor had only ever seen one reason for that type of behavior. as a fresh understanding dawned, thor wordlessly tightened his grasp of rey's hand and began leading her in the direction of the game room. when they arrived, he stepped passed several brightly colored loud machines until one in particular caught his eye. "captain america and the avengers?" he read aloud, amused in spite of himself.

rey "yeah, can we do that?" rey whispered as she took out her pigtails, trying to let the smile appear on her face again, though it was still shaky for now. she let go of steve's hand, knowing the reason behind his sudden closure, and instead held thor's with both of her own, stumbling along behind him. "whoa..." she whispered in amazement at all the machines, her eyes widening. once at the machine thor stopped it, she began giggling and moved to sit down on the floor in front of the game, knowing from experience to not be on her feet for too long after a snoke episode.

steve: "sounds about right." steve laughed under his breath, leaning against the side of the arcade game. he stared at the giant, cartoon version of himself for a few beats before moving around again. he wandered off toward a skeeball machine where he grabbed one of the basketballs. the avenger stood there, absentmindedly dribbling the basketball. the first time he shot, it went in effortlessly even though he hardly paying attention.

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thor: thor watched rey settle down onto the ground before glancing once more at the machine. uninterested in trying (and likely failing) to figure out how to toy with it, he shifted his attention to steve and the ease with which he tossed a ball through a hoop. "how long have you known each other?" he finally asked, looking back and forth between them. he could have asked more about derek, but keeping the peace felt like a better idea right then.

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rey: \

rey rey watched steve as he moved to go shoot a basketball, still staying where she hd sat on the ground. then she glanced up at thor and shrugged a shoulder. "i-i don't know... a month or so...? maybe longer?" she asked steve, smiling shyly to herself and resting her chin on her knees. "i used to have the biggest crush on him."

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steve: steve nearly choked on his tongue at rey's confession. instead of replying, he merely shot the basketball into the 100 point section. "you might not want to tell derek that." the soldier muttered as he collected the tickets that spewed out of the machine. he handed them over to rey, seeing that he had no use for them. "go get a prize."

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thor: "yes, go get your prize," thor agreed, pushing at rey with gentle but insistent nudges toward the area with several objects scattered along the wall that he assumed were prizes. as soon as she was out of earshot, he turned to steve, arms folding over his broad chest. "where i come from, we settle these situations with duels. have you considered fighting derek for her heart?" he kept his voice low, lips curving to betray his amusement. then, just like that, his features turned solemn. "if not, you must let go of her, friend. this pining is not easy to watch."

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rey rey looked up hesitantly as steve handed her the tickets, collecting them all into her arms and rising to her feet slowly. she didn't move immediately, but at thor's gentle persistence, she finally made her way to the counter, oblivious as to why they sent her away. she was too excited about her prizes. the worker there, the only one left, seemed less than thrilled about accepting the tickets, and told her to pick out three things. she looked over her shoulder at steve and thor, seeing them still talking, then glanced at the shelves to pick her prizes.

steve: steve scowled at thor's proposal. he wasn't entirely subtle about his dislike for derek, but he didn't think it was that obvious. "i'm not fighting derek." his gaze followed rey, who was eagerly awaiting her prizes. "i'll get over it. i always do." he shook his head, eyes falling down to his fidgeting fingers. it was a total lie. he wasn't even over peggy yet ��� and that was seventy years ago. he couldn't even close his eyes at night without thinking of her or bucky.

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thor: "no, you will not." thor knew an overly-attached lovestruck fool when he saw one. he himself had been on the opposite end of that sort of infatuation more than once, in fact. "these things do not simply fade away. they grow stronger, along with resentment, until you find yourself saying something you will regret." throwing rey a glance, he then dropped a hand on steve's shoulder, squeezing more tightly than truly necessary. "do not destroy your friendship with her. take some time away, if you must –– but let go of this before it harms both of you." thor released him and, without awaiting a response, strode over to join rey.

rey "thank you," rey gasped as the worker handed her her three items, hugging them close to her chest. then she turned towards her friends as thor made his way over to her, showing them the three bears she'd picked out. ( http://www.buildabear.com/ProductImages/... , http://www.buildabear.com/public/images/... , http://www.buildabear.com/ProductImages/... ) "aren't they so cute?" she giggled then moved to steve, wrapping her arms around him the best she could with her new toys. "thank you so much, steve."

steve: the crease between steve's brows tightened following his words. he knew thor was right, but the thought of distancing himself from the girl brought a sharp pain to his chest. he knew he would have to get over his schoolboy crush or else it'd cause damage. the soldier managed to muster a smile at rey as she approached. the stuffed animals tucked under her arm were cute, indeed. the cap and thor bears coaxed a laugh out of him. there was another one that strangely resembled darth vader. "you're welcome." his voice was distant, but the smile gracing his lips still remained. "where to now?"

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thor: thor cast a disapproving eye at rey as she embraced steve, but resigned himself to trusting that the captain would take his advice and move on. if not, thor would do his best to help pick up the pieces when things made a turn for the worse. "is this supposed to be me?" he took hold of his lookalike bear's paw, feeling the soft plushness of it. "hm. we should get ice cream." his eyes met rey's with a wink. in his experience, mortals loved their ice cream.

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rey rey grinned softly at steve's laugh, wishing he would do so more often, then looked between him and thor. "of course it is," she giggled, holding up the thor-themed teddy bear she'd chosen. then she gasped before nodding swiftly. "yes, yes, yes!" she begged, and didn't even wait for an answer before moving to the exit, but not before scooping up her captain america figurine that steve gave her, and holding it with her three teddy bears. "c'mon, you two are so slow!"

[pruehalliwll]

back at it with the terribad request but basically, i (like everyone else in the world) have come off of s2 of stranger things with a great need!! so here i am!! i’m thinking the gang grew up together in staves on the same cul-de- sac and were essentially, the “nerds”. sometime during eighth grade, “the will” went missing in the woods for just over two weeks. it was front page news - you couldn’t turn a street corner or a shop window without seeing his face. the whole town of staves breaking up into search parties and they even went as far as holding a funeral. to the whole world, will was dead. 

then one day he appeared on his mothers front step on the verge of hypothermia with no recollection of where he’d been and the town collectively moved past it. i’m thinking he suffered from some sort of ptsd and it kind of put a strain on the relationships between his family and the town.

however, they tried to collectively move past it and it’s been virtually forgotten especially now that they’re older and in college now!! i don’t want to dictate too much of their lives bc we can translate so much of the spooky elements into a rl setting but they’re the best of friends and they have a wolf pack mentality. you never see one of them without the others trailing behind and their old asses probably still try to fit themselves into the old tree house headquarters. they protect each other tooth and nail, fight like cats and dogs but at the end of the day they are bonded together by this traumatic event (and who knows ,maybe the will can have an episode and trigger a hot mess)

soooo yeah!!! they don’t have to be EXACTLY like their show counterparts bc they are children after all but it’d be fun to see them have some similarities and quirks that fit in with who they are on the show!! also dynamics and romantic entanglements and those sorts of things don’t have to align with the show if thats not your thing!!

the tiny tots (mike, dustin, lucas, eleven, will, max) should be around 21-23 since i want to keep the same sort of age dynamics they have with the rest of the gang!! people like the nancy, jonathan and steve (and billy i guess lol) i figure would be mid to late twenties and the joyce + hopper would be in their thirties!! pls take them pls and thx!! 

"the eleven” ryan bishop, 22, played by lana

“the nancy” name, age, played by kelsey

“the will” name, age, played by caroline

“the max” name, age, played by bri

“the dustin” name, age, played by derek

“the hopper” name, age, played by meaghan

“the joyce” name, age, played by cat

“the steve” name, age, played by talia

“the mike” micah lastname, 22, played by cora

“the lucas” name, age, played by kathleen

“the jonathan” name, age, played by maddie

“the erica” name, age, played by emily

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

To my baby mission

Mission, it’s been an hour since you left. I rushed to shower and seeing you with your head tilted on that purple mat, i told you repeatedly “sabar mission, tahan skjap, nunun bagi makan kjap”. I looked at you and my heart felt heavy. i dont know what the feeling was back then but i just didnt feel so good. i wondered if i should give you your glucose water first then leave to shower. but i was on my period so i had to go shower, i decided. 

I was in the midst of showering and left the stove on to boil pumpkin which was the only food you could consume in your diet. It was not long after that i heard obeng scream. i wasnt sure if i heard it right, so i kept flossing. another. i knew i had to go down. obeng wailed and she screamed and mama was screaming back at obeng to stop shouting. i shouted back at mama telling her to stop yelling and  told obeng to lower down her voice. mission, i love you. i will continue to love you and i hope to remember you forever.

your original name was mitsu, meaning........ shine in japanese, you have 4 brothers: three of you triplets (mika and mizu), and a younger brother (Muji) - he’s not here anymore either. you and your brothers were the weirdest bunch, mama didnt like all your tails bcuz it was folded - she had a thing for straight tail cats. but your rounded tail became a trait we love about you so much. your tail would always mengait other stuff like my charger, or sandals. it was powerful and could flick anything and hit the floor like a dog wagging their tail. you reminded me of a dog, bcuz you had long ears, big feet. you also reminded me of a monkey becuz you had that white thing on your head. you reminded me of a lion, becus you had a big nose. 

you were loving when the new batch of kittens showed up (i forgot about this until obeng showed a picture of you sleeping with baby johnny). you looked like an anime cat. just like burai. 

as you grew older, you were the most most most fiesty cat! loving to humans, but a fighter to other cats. you couldnt stand looking at a cat and your head will automatically tilt to the side and you would be in fight mode. you were loving to your brothers though, only sometimes you would fight if you guys got inside the house... weird. 

then the worst happened. last year in dec, your stomach looked bloated and you got really sick and yellow. we brought u to the vet and they said you had fluid in your liver? they injected you twice and nothing came out. you were so patient. during the car rides, and when being examined by the vets. the vets were amazed by you as well because you were so obedient and ur butt would always rise up to the air if you were stroked. they said it would be reoccuring and you had 50/50 chance to live. seeing you get poked, and them saying that, i cried. i couldnt imagine the triplets to be just... twins. the idea scared me, mission. the fluid drained to your testes and it expanded. they said it was a tumour? we had to go back to the vet like 4 times almost each week? for review bcuz you werent fit enough for surgery. then finally after we got back from our holiday, they set an appointment date for january i think or was it late december? you had to also wear that big helmet bcuz you kept liking your balls and your fur was a mess. we made fun of you bobbing your head and eating in weird positions. you were fine after. 

2 weeks ago, you got sick again. fever, we brought you to the vet. they said why was he not being reviewed after castration? i said we werent told. you had pus on your balls. you were in pain. then you had to go for a blood test which was $120. low Hb, high WBC etc. anemic. they had to use a needle on you again, yet you were patient as if it didnt hurt. you were so strong mission. you were fine after, for like a week, then you got fever again. it was 2 days after we stopped giving pumpkin.3 days we forced fed you and today we brught you tot he vet. i was at school, but kaka and obeng went and the dr said you were fine. more meds. i was relieved. you could make it. youre so strong. just later that night it somehow took a turn for the worst. 

mission, im so sorry. im sorry as much as i can be. as much as the world’s ability to occupy many things. i love you and i cant believe you held out for the longest time. 

Mission was so weird bcuz he liked bread and egg . he liked tuna which is something he couldnt eat. bcuz protein. he could eat 2 slices of bread himselft. he didnt chew it but he licked it. the sound of plastic triggered his appetitie and he meowed almost every second of the day. he was so lving and he had a specialised box where he slept. he slept almost every where else though. he was so big and muscly, bcuz he got sick, he became just long and skinny. its so sad to think about. i will try to think about happy things. but its so hard bcuz those happy things are just memories now. you were called mission through out your life becus when you were little your meow sounded like a radio transmission, so thats how the name transmission came about. you dont meow like that anymore though. i forgot how your meow sounded like before. you meh meh all the time too. mission, i love you so so much baby im sorry i didnt/ couldnt help as much as i should have. please please forgive me and pls have us in your memories. i hope to see you again soon bread boy. i hope your ok now. and happy in heaven i love you very much. please know that :( im so sad. i love you.

[taxideataxus]

I remember that one text post about how little witch academia is a big metaphor for 2d animation and how it’s going out of favor in western society and i think one of the biggest nods tot hat is that Hanna and Barbara are very clearly references to hanna-barbera, a famous american animation studio that produced some of the most iconic 2d animated cartoons like the flinstones and jetsons and all that and i think thats a very neat easter egg, thank u trigger

[amongthefae]

Breaking Ian

just a 5 page short story highlighting the traumas that shaped Ian the most in the first half-ish of his canon story. Would have written more but that means finishing the book and thats just asking a lot.

trigger warnings self harm mentions, anorexia mentions, substance abuse mentions, severe trauma, blood/gore, and possibly a few more.

Darkness cast over the city of Altone, the quiet of night set in in such a way that Ian could feel it in his bones. The still, unnatural silence that fell over the city was both unnerving and relaxing for the constantly busy teen. Laid back on his twin sized bed, he stared at the white orange peel ceiling with eyes dead and tired. Once sparkling emeralds full of wonder and hope, Ian’s eyes had faded to a dark lackluster green with large blobs of brown as the world wore down his mind and body. He had begun to look constantly exhausted by way of heavy bags under his eyes by the time he was fourteen. Life had not been so kind to him in his eighteen years, and time had worn his soul down to almost nothing. As his weary mind began to cast colorful swirls onto the chalky ceiling, Ian felt his eyes slip closed and the air thicken with a sickening familiarity.

For moments all was calm, the sound of rubber on asphalt was as soothing as the gentle music coming from somewhere below. It was the not so gentle thump of the car as asphalt turned to unpaved country roads that jolted Ian’s eyes open once more as he found himself in his mother’s car, his sister chattering excitedly as they grew closer to their destination. In the front seat was his mother, her curly black hair cascading over her shoulders and enveloping the headrest in it’s incredulous volume. Fragments of her pale, freckled face came only into view long enough to flee behind those voluminous locks once more. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to hug her and feel safe in her arms for the first time in almost a decade, but instead he was jostled by an incoming head of wavy brown hair accompanied by a boisterous giggle. It was his sister, all sweet and innocent with big brown eyes, and a goofy gap toothed smile on her face.

“Are you excited?!” Her childish voice ever so chipper and full of glee. At only four years old she was enthralled by the idea of seeing cows, ducks, and sheep. Ian gave her a grin and nodded happily just as he had back then.

“Yeah Samantha, I can’t wait!” His voice had been so much higher back then, so sugary sweet that adults would fawn over the curly headed tot.

With a blink of his eyes Ian found himself in a barn with a beautiful, tame cow, his uncle Will, and his mother whose leg he clung to. She smelled of lavender and chemical sterilizing agents, as well as her sweet rose perfume. He knew why he was here in the barn, but he couldn’t escape it, no matter how desperately he begged his feet to move, this dream would play out just like the real thing. The clattering of the shotgun being loaded was his first indicator as he hid half his face in his mother’s thigh. They talked indistinguishably as Ian felt his little heart race, he didn’t know why he had asked to tag along, perhaps too young to understand the word slaughter he had just wanted to see the cow. Then came the gun shot, the sickening splatter of blood that ensured the cow was dead, and the deafening cries of a horrified little boy, his dress splattered with little specks of red. He’d not touched meat since then, especially beef the memory staying with him always.

Hiding his face now entirely in his mother’s thigh a few more breaths and he was back in the car. Older now, the minivan from before had been replaced with a sleeker, smaller family car. His sister, excitedly kicking her feet for her first trip to the beach, it was no small drive but she was sure to be excited the entire ride. It was his eighth birthday and Ian himself was excited, riding behind them with the window half down and a stupid smile on his face. It was a beautiful day to go to the lake and swim, just slightly too hot for comfort and mildly sticky. His hair was a frizzy mess that rested in a pony tail on his back just over his light blue bathing suit cover, in the end the heat would be more than worth it. A familiar dread grew in the young boy’s stomach, the feeling he got when something would go wrong without a doubt. It was then that everything became fuzzy, a sharp pain erupting on Ian’s forehead and the left side of his head. He was dizzy and could hear only screaming and the screeching of tires. He felt for moments at a time that he might fall entirely out of his seat only to feel firmly planted there again. His Forehead was continuously battered by something, before a harsher, sharper pain grew in his nose and right eye socket and the young boy passed out entirely.

When Ian open his eye again the world was upside down, and his right eye wouldn’t open. He groaned against the distant sirens and grabbed for the front seat.

“Mom…?” His voice came out wet, the taste of iron and salt filling his mouth, but the only voice that came was that of a young sounding man.

“We’ve got a live one!” Suddenly everything was bustling and noise, even as the young boy coughed up blood and wished it would all go away, more stimulation came. There were hands all over him, some touching places that hurt more than any pain before. He was pulled from the car with some shouting and effort, his view from the gurney granted him the view of a smashed in car, and his mother’s face caved in around the steering wheel. The airbags had never deployed, and the wind shield had utterly shattered, leaving his little sister nearly decapitated. Across the road was a semi truck, perfectly intact but with a sobbing female driver. She had tried to fight sleep for forty eight hours and lost, costing Samantha and Amanda McClaine their lives.

Ian clenched his eyes closed, wishing it all away and shaking his head in utter denial. This horrid reliving of a life changing tragedy didn’t melt away until the paramedic announced them both long dead. His right eye socket and maxilla had been broken that day, several ribs shattering against the restraint of the seatbelt and impaling his left lung. Several others had only just barely missed his heart. Later in the hospital quite a few doctors and nurses would tell him he was lucky to be alive. He didn’t think so.

As one realistic dream faded into another, Ian found himself in bed at home with a dull ache in his chest and dried tears on his face. He was now twelve, the signs of his first puberty starting to show in the typical feminine ways. The ache in his chest was from ace bandages not removed the night before, and the tears from the very first throes of dysphoria. He didn’t know the word for what he was yet, no label of transgender was known to him. He called himself many things, most kindly the term ‘tomboy.’ He felt shaky legs swing over the bed and land on papers on the floor and he felt his pajama pants sting the razor bites on his thighs, but still he stood and shuffled to the main room. It was nine in the morning on a Sunday, the light would be filtering in through the crimson curtains his mother had bought and waking his hung over, or still half drunk father soon enough. The house was a disaster, with beer bottles and garbage covering the floor, it reeked of stale body odor and two broken humans that simply didn’t care anymore. At this time Ian had been unnaturally thin, only finding the motivation to eat when the pain was so bad in his gut that he had to. Now was one of those times.

His father in contrast turned to eating away his feelings. Once slender and business man like, he was now incredibly fat and looked like the unemployed shell of a man that he was. The pay out from suing the car company had been huge and should have sustained them both for a decade or two, but was now nearly gone due to someone’s drinking and gambling habits. Ian snuck close to his father, less interested in him and more interested in the pack of cigarettes by his side. He’d done this a million times over for beer or cash but never for a smoke. He couldn’t have known the plastic would make enough noise to wake the sleeping man on the couch, but learned this lesson quickly as a loud groan came from the previously sleeping man.

“Don’t.” Is the only thing the hungover man said, swatting the boy’s hand away. Ian of course sighed and backed away, knowing the next warning wouldn’t be so kind. He instead retreated to his room for a cold shower that would sting and remind him of his own existence. Just briefly in the bathroom he caught a glimpse of himself, the hideous scars that covered his face and body like a road map more evident now than they ever had been. He wondered if anyone would ever see past him, or if he would only ever be as interesting as his scars.

As the bathroom door closed behind him, that cold, harsh reality faded to a vaguely brighter one. The sun was striking Ian’s lacy black curtains and refracting off of the crystals hanging from the ceiling. The room was cleaner now, a previously pink room turned black with chrome accents as Ian grew into himself. Different plants hung in pots around the room, some common flowers and succulents, nothing too hard to take care of. The room was still a mess but no where near as bad as it had been. He was fifteen now, fuller of frame and much more mentally stable. Slinking into his bathroom he gave himself a once over, running his fingers through his hair. He’d just had it cut, he looked clean for once. His chest was now bound with a cheap, but safe binder and he wore entirely male attire. Those scars had faded away to a dull pink on his pale face, the vague freckles a stark contrast and a constant reminder of his Irish heritage. He knew what today was, he didn’t want to be here.

Nonetheless his feet carried him towards his door, shaky hands turning the handle. His father was on the couch, a thinner cleaner version of his previous self. He had a beer in hand and some was fixated on some football game, heavy bags under his eyes to match those under Ian’s. While things had improved, Derek McClaine was no less a bitter man. Four years of being near constantly drunk had taken their toll, but he worked two jobs and provided his living child with the basic most necessities. He had only glanced up at the noise as Ian came out of his room, standing awkwardly by the television and chewing his lip. His dad’s brown eyes eventually moved to look him over and a small frown appeared on his face.

“You’re unbelievable Ian.” The gruff voice of a chain smoker filled the room, chilling Ian to his core. His little hands balled into fists as his shaky voice broke free from his throat.

He wanted to scream at his father, but instead he barely managed a whisper. “I didn’t ask for this dad, the least you could do is support me through this.”

Derek’s frown turned into a deep rooted scowl, his brows furrowing at the child before him. “Support what Ian? A high school dropout Average with no future ahead of them but certain death?! I think not! I think you’ll have your things moved out by the end of the week and if you have any goddamn brains in your head you’ll warn that spider freak to stay out too! As far as I’m concerned, I have no son.” His words came harsh and brought tears to his eyes, but he none the less moved to the kitchen to prepare a meal for himself so he would have the energy to pack.

Walking through the living room, however, brought him to his apartment. All was quiet for a moment a stillness setting in that was unnerving to Ian. For a moment, he might have thought he was awake, but the opening of his door without any warning proved otherwise.

“Ian, my man! Guess what I have in store for you today!” Titus burst in, a dumb smile on his face as the ridges where most had eyebrows raised nearly halfway through his forehead. He was an odd little man with odd gifts. His abilities however, cost him all of his hair and apparently most of his sanity. To most of Altone, Titus was the sole defender of the west border known as The Obsidian Spider. To the community he was stoic and calm, but Ian knew he was a party animal and a play boy that wasn’t fond of clothes or knocking.

Turning slowly to his teacher the boy raised an eyebrow and tucked his hands into his hoodie pocket in silent questioning. It was amazing to him that his neighbors never made noise complaints about Titus. Maybe they were deaf, or maybe they didn’t care.

Rolling his eyes in frustration at Ian’s lackluster response, the older man continued. “We’re going on our first mission! There’s a mermaid terrorizing some poor fishermen on Lake Plan D'eau!”

“I don’t go to the lake, Titus.” Ian cut in, now shuffling to the kitchen to make himself some green tea. He was in no mood for this today.

“Well, you’re going today and we’re flying there in style!”

Another blink of the eye and Ian felt the cold breeze off the water hitting his face contrasting the sharp burn against his feet from the sand. Some time around five years prior, something had infested the waters of Lake Plan D’eau, something vicious and man eating. The locals had come to call them mermaids, but no one knew their origin or the origin of the word.

The creatures were nothing like the mermaids of old, hideous in every way they opted to chase down their prey rather than lure it into those murky depths. They of course preyed on the average variety of humans, those dumb enough to think they could survive a quick dip in the water, or that their boat would protect them. Ian hated the lake.

Titus, however, paid these beings no mind. Clad in nothing but his boxers he dove into the water and heroically brought the man and his boat to safety. The horror came when one of the mermaids latched on to Titus’ foot as he exited the water and a scream filled the air like none Ian had ever heard before. As the foul being rolled much like an alligator to tear off this part of its meal. The boy knew now was the time for action, and he felt his hand reach for the dagger at his side. It would be so simple to sink the blade into the mermaid’s skull, right between the eyes. But if it was so simple, why couldn’t be move?

Paralysed in fear the young apprentice was useless until the agonized scream turned to pleas for help in the boy’s ear, his mentor clawing at the ground before him in a desperate attempt to get away from the sharp teeth the threatened to take his foot. Before he could even register what he was doing Ian lept into action and sunk the blade into the mermaid’s skull without much hesitation or thought. His sense of remorse only kicked in as it wailed in pain and dug at its forehead in the moment’s as it’s life drained away.

As Titus pulled himself from the bloody water, and the rescued man called for an ambulance, Ian fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. As if an entire decade of trauma came pouring back over him. He’d come so far, been through so much and only ever broken down once or twice.

Now, without family or a friend in the world, he could no longer remain strong.

The sound of springs popping and a wretched gasp fill the air as Ian shoots up in bed, tears streaking down his face. He wanted to go home, to curl up in his familiar room with his dog and feel a comfort he hadn’t felt since being kicked out. The reality of his memories frightened him but there was nothing he could do besides bring his knees to his chest and cry, a broken man of only eighteen.

[therewas-a-girl]

Ppl thinking oliver queen would have been better - liked/treated/his issues better respected - by fandom, if he had been a woman has me laughing at the… is it called paradox? Blatant nontruth of the statement?

Here are some easy examples of how this is not so:

Laurel lance (lol most heatedly hated character of arrow for a myriad for reasons, at least half of them sexist bullshit the other ¼ shipper bullshit; had some shit writing which is always taken as a character trait and for which SHE is blamed for; had a depression arc, is an addict, after all the times shes been kidnapped abused and beaten probably has some form of lingering effect from all the… u know… trauma + the emotional upheaval that has been her life for the last 10 years. And yet - still loathed and her issues are negated and belittled at every turn. Always misinterpreted, rarely afforded the luxury of viewer empathy; favorite fandom strawoman usually)

Sara lance (ptsd from all the fucked up shit the league put her through amd that she went through before that, which was very visible when she was on arrow. Probably dealt with some for of sexual harassment/threats of violence/violence when she was on the Amazo, which we never explicitly saw thank god. A good portion of Olicity fans dispise her cause ship reasons, same with lauriver fans. Who is the REAL black canary discourse is still going strong btw, which inevitably generates hate on either of the lance sisters side. Saras bisexuality is constantly erased or denied or treated as sth tintillating for the straight male gaze; she is slutshamed at every corner; ppl hardly can be bothered to remember that she was actually suicidal at one point, that she thought she was not worthy of love or capable of love or of being with someone - HUGE CHARACTER MOMENT HERE - when she broke up with oliver usually dismissed/forgotten cause felicity walks in the room so most of the olicity fandom - big portion of arrow fandom - 9 times out of 10 doesnt bother to remember that sara was talking about herself here)

- yes shipper tendencies matter, they shape character perceptions.

Bonus: thea queen (neglected by her mother, abused physically and emotionally by her monster father, has some serious issues with violence, probably ptsd-related avoidance for it, the mask, her old life. Has utterly detatched from a whole side of her personality and history, something that was intrinsic to her for 2 years, and yet nobody sees that as eyebrow-raising worthy for some reason cause that is what a tots normal person would do. The almost oliver-like split of the sides of her life/personality is mentione…. how many times in fandom? The metas are where? Maybe ive just missed them. Okay. Oh i almost forgot - was stabbed and just about died. But she got over that, right? Which has nothing to do with the bloodlust, by the way. Thats from the Pit. Trauma outlasts the bloodlust. And yet whenever she displays behaviour that is consistent with some kind of post-traumautic symptoms/behaviour… she is bitchy or ungrateful or whiny or being a child again. Literally do not know how to go on with this one)

Extra bonus: felicity smoak. How much felicity’s trauma was aknowleged = she has all kinds of traumatic shit happen to her, including but not limited to near-death experinces, and yet the effect this had on her is nearly nonexistent in big fandom spaces. Sunshine felicity yay! Supporting and taking care of oliver. Yay. Always the light to guide his way. Untarnished. Y. A. Y. (Feel my burning enthusiasm for this interpretation. But thats my preference and of no consequence here.) And the moment it was “officially” aknowleged that a ptsd arc would be explored with her (which is, imo, still a euphemism, or a gross misusage of this very serious illness /that they cant be bothered to portray right on a woman/) - the same ppl that say ‘olivers mental illness is disrespected cause he is male’ were all about (paraphrasing here) “olivers LONG LASTING and X YEAR LONG ptsd is as valid as felicitys NEWLY CONCOCTED/FRESHLY CREATED ptsd” …somehow managing to insult the both of them and imply that the years one lives with an illness give u a sort of precedence and ‘elder card’ in the club. ‘Empathy should go first HERE where its mooore…’ more what? I just dont know how to continue this. needed? Valid? I dont know man. I mean, by works of logic the obvious non-truth of the beginning statement of this post is encapsulated by this last example. But lets be thorough.

Look there are layers. Olivers character deals with shit writing sometimes and horrifying demonisation of his mental illness FROM THE WRITERS OF HIS OWN SHOW. And there is a shitton of ableism in fandom about him.

But if he’d been a woman… my dude… my guy… my pal…. experience shows fandom generally, not as separate ppl but as a block unit, (fandom currents? Fandom tendencies?) have *lower* empathy for women and their narratives (e.i. a lot **less** 29596k word metas about why he does the things he does, trying to explain away the writing holes would be floating around). Lower patience for their fuckups. Lower imagination for their inner lives and even lower willingness to search them out. The show itself would have a lower interest in exploring these issues, as they have shown it to be the tendency with female characters.

Oliver queen is human, he fucks up, he has a deep inner life and his trauma has far reaching shockwaves. All those are characteristics we assume him to have, as default, cause hes a WHITE MALE presented as straight. Who has to contend with bullshit ableism, sure, and fandome expectations colored by toxic masculinity, which canon doesnt even support. But he would have faaaar more prejudices to contend with if he were female. All those assumptions - of hidden logical reasons, depths, triggers etc - up there wouldnt even go halfway if hed been a woman, or not white or, god forbit, a woman of color.

(Dude can u imagine the shitstorm of slutshaming that would hit a female!oliver for sleeping with a *fraction* of the number of ppl oliver has slept with??? In canon he has always had emotional ties or reasons for sleeping with every single one of his partners whether fandom likes it or not, and STILL he is called a manwhore, as if he only thinks with his dick. Even oliver isnt afforded brains and emotions when it comes to sexual agency. It baffles me.

But im willing to bet that it would be worse if he were a woman because the reason for dumbing him down would go from ‘i want to belittle all these other relationships he has so that THIS ONE SHIP shines thru’, to straight up sexism and womens agency over their bodies and emotions. Case in point ppl were calling felicity a plethora of disgusting epithets for sleeping with ray (ONE MAN) when she was a FREE BEING WITH AN INDEPENDENT WILL tied to !!!nobody but herself!!!, just cause she didnt plant olivers name on her ladyparts from the moment she first saw him. (Lets also admit that shipper reasons are present here too but the difference is that in olivers case, his sexing up other ppl lowers olicity’s value cause hes not devoted enough and whatnot. In felicitys case, her sexing up other ppl lowers *felicity’s* ‘value’ because… do i rly need to explain why here? Hint - It ties back to the ‘pure felicity oliver’s light’ argument and the dehumanization of her character by making her the literal object of olivers salvation and therefore nullifying/ridiculing her choices if they make her path deviate from olivers.) Ppl are saying Laurel would be betraying tommys memory by loving oliver still - TOMMYS MEMORY. a man whos been dead for *four years* matters more than a live womans feelings. Just… christ…)

[themoneybuff-blog]

A Loan Won't Solve Your Money Woes If You Don't Fix These 10 Issues First

Sometimes even the best-prepared households get knocked sideways, financially speaking. Illness, unemployment, divorce, a car accident that triggers a lawsuit these and other situations can quickly put a hurt on the budget. In such times a personal loan or one of several types of home equity loans can provide a little breathing room until you rebuild your finances. As noted, money woes are sometimes the result of plain old bad luck (illness, job loss). However, sometimes were our own worst enemies: We buy too much, we save too little, we plan not at all. You cant get ahead that way. And you cant keep borrowing your way out of trouble. A loan wont help you unless you fix the following issues. 1. Not having a budget The simplest way to wind up in debt is to spend without thinking. Stop, then, and think for a moment about what you would like to have happen five years from now: buying a home, starting a business, getting married, traveling? When you create a budget, youre not just allocating your dollars youre enabling your dreams. An easy way to do it is the 50/30/20 budget: Spend no more than 50% of your take-home pay on essentials, 30% on wants, and 20% on saving (including retirement planning and an emergency fund). Plenty of budgeting apps exist as well (some are even free). 2. Not tracking spending You cant plug budget leaks unless you know where they are. Track your spending for a month, using pen and paper or a budgeting app. The cumulative effect could be eye-opening. For example, a relatives ex-husband was shocked shocked! to realize that spending $8 a day on fast food added up to $240 a month. His wife had made more money than he did, and their commingled finances made it easy for him to swipe a card and think no more of it. Heres hoping that your own habits arent quite that clueless. But even those of us who think were doing pretty well could be surprised by the cumulative impact of certain habits: beef jerky and a soda every time we pay for gasoline, daily iTunes downloads, $20 a week on scratch tickets. Add up the opportunity cost of those non-essentials, and ask yourself if you could do better. (Spoiler alert: You probably can.) 3. Keeping up with the Joneses Just because next-door neighbor bought the priciest riding mower on the market doesnt mean you have to ditch your trusty Snapper. When your coworker talks about all the activities her kid participates in, you dont have to sign your own tots up for horseback riding and soccer camp. You should not let other people determine your clothing, dcor, automobile, or anything else. Its no ones business that you bought a fixer-upper, that you drive your car until the wheels fall off, that your idea of nightlife is to read a new library book once the kids are in bed. Remember: The Joneses may be up to their hairlines in debt. They might be focused on keeping up, too with the minimum payments, that is. 4. Wanting your kids to have things you didnt Theres nothing wrong with this! Except when there is. Obviously you want your children to be well-fed, reasonably well-dressed, and housed comfortably. You might also want to give them treats and opportunities you never had, such as vacation trips, a big allowance, loads of extracurricular activities, and fully funded education plans. But dont let this noble impulse bust your budget. Just because your kid wants snowboarding lessons, a new smartphone every year, and a car of their own at age 16 doesnt mean you have to give these things. Staying out of debt and funding your retirement should take precedence over granting every whim. At the very least they should have some skin in the game: doing additional chores to help save up for a big-ticket item, say, or mowing lawns or babysitting for extra pocket money. Besides, we arent doing our kids any favors when we give them everything they want. Setting the bar too high now could mean setting them up for problems later on. Specifically, when they move out on their own theyll want to keep living in the style to which we have accustomed them and if their salaries dont allow for that, theyll wind up in debt. 5. Automatic upgrades Whats wrong with your old smartphone or car or whatever? If you bought it relatively recently and it still works, whats with the rush to replace? If you get the newest phone as soon as it comes out, or trade in your vehicle every few years, or replace anything else before it really needs replacing, ask yourself why. Because your co-workers do? Because some commercial made you want a new car? Because you dont know why, but you really, really want to anyway? Think about the opportunity cost of that cash. Then think about the way you want to live, and whether or not you want other people making decisions about your money. 6. Shopping mindlessly If you dont need anything, stay out of the mall. Going shopping with friends puts you in a position to find something you suddenly cant live without, or something that looks so cute on you or would be so cool in your house or so useful in the garage. Except that you were doing just fine without that item until you saw it. Ditto online shopping: Dont cruise your favorite retailers websites unless you have a specific reason to do so. Better yet, undo the one-click function and remove stored credit card info from all sites where youve shopped in the past. Bonus frugal points if you change your online passwords to something that has personal significance, such as WeDDingDAy8192020, or 19YEarsLEftonMORTgage, or EARLYretire2028 these little reminders of where your dollars could be going instead might help you from overbuying. 7. Always buying retail Why automatically pay full price? Instead of heading straight to the shopping center when you need (or want) something, consider these options instead: Thrift shops: Some are junky, but others are great. Its like a treasure hunt. (Pro tip: Find out if there are senior discounts or other special deals. For example, a secondhand store my daughter likes offers 50 percent off every Monday.)Consignment stores: Like thrift shops, except theyre more discriminating about whats accepted.Flash sales: While online shopping should be approached with caution, sometimes a sale really is too good to pass up. Hold yourself to limits, though: Just because those slacks are a great deal doesnt mean you need to buy a pair in every color.OfferUp, LetGo, Craigslist: Sometimes people want (or need) to get rid of furniture, tools, bikes or automobiles without the hassle of a yard sale. Caution is required, but you can get some darned good deals this way.Newspaper classified ads: Yes, really. A guy I know recently bought a pickup truck (necessary for his job) from a newspaper ad, spending many thousands less than he would have paid at a dealership.Freecyle: You might be surprised at whats being given away, no strings attached. Ive seen beautiful furniture, clothing, bicycles, toys, books, and other useful stuff offered up.Yard sales: Another treasure hunt. Ive seen items still in the shrink-wrap at these sales. Its a great place to buy baby stuff, including newborn-sized clothing that seems never to have been worn.Buy Nothing Facebook groups: Last month my partner and I just picked up an almost-new Weber grill. Some of the other things Ive seen lately: baby stuff, solid wood table, sewing machine, board games, computer desk, cookware, and tons of childrens clothes. All of it is free.8. Overdoing it on special occasions Are holidays and birthdays completely over the top? Maybe its time to tone it down. When they become extravaganzas of gift-giving, we cheapen the meaning and also set the bar higher and higher. A kid who gets tons of presents is unlikely to appreciate each one fully and more to the point, he develops a sense of entitlement. As for birthday parties, when did they start resembling mini-coronations? Even one-year-olds are having party rooms reserved, decorations put up, and gift registries established. Really? Think of all the money thats spent and quickly forgotten. Now think what those dollars could have done for a childs education fund or your own retirement. Celebrate joyously, but celebrate sensibly. 9. Overbuying for grandchildren While waiting in line at a crafts store, I met a woman who developed the bad habit of having small gifts waiting for her granddaughters whenever they visited and they visited a lot. The woman was fretting visibly as she looked over the items in the stores dollar section. What do you buy for someone who already has everything? she asked me. After hearing her story, I felt very sad not just for her but also for the kids. A visit to grandmas house had become an exercise in acquisition. The first thing they do upon crossing the threshold is to ask what theyre getting. (Does anyone else find that quite sad?) Expectations are made, not born. If youve gotten into the habit of treats and more treats, scale back. Replace them with activities and gifts of time. The kids who are used to getting stuff will gradually become used to not getting stuff and when occasionally you do treat them, it will mean a lot more. Again, the money you save could go toward their education funds or toward shoring up your own budget. You cant finance retirement. 10. Giving more than you can afford Charity is a noble impulse. But giving to the American Red Cross or the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals should be done after youve taken care of business. Specifically, after youve built an emergency fund, started saving for retirement, and taken care of any consumer debt. Put on your own oxygen mask first, financially speaking. Award-winning journalist and veteran personal finance writerDonna Freedmanis the author of Your Playbook for Tough Times: Living Large on Small Change, for the Short Term or the Long Haul and Your Playbook for Tough Times, Vol. 2: Needs AND Wants Edition. Read more: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/loans/blog/a-loan-wont-solve-your-money-woes-if-you-dont-fix-these-10-financial-issues-first/

[kellyannecoaching-blog]

A LiTtLe SoMeThInG YoU DiDn’T KnOw AbOuT Me!

Hi, I’m Kelly Barhorst, and I have Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy (JME for short....also link in the name)…..this is the part where you say “Hi Kelly!”. For some of you who may or may not know what JME is, it is a form of the seizure disorder called Epilepsy that usually forms in younger children who have absence (stare off), tonic clonic (the more known), myoclonic jerk (physical twitch ) seizures. Yes I didn’t know there were different types of seizures until I experienced these myself when I was officially diagnosed at age 14…..now I am 25 (*whew* time flies when you’re getting younger) and living in the warm suns of Arizona. I recently started to feel the urge to first share my experiences of being diagnosed and growing up with this disorder on my blog for anyone interested when I talked to family members coming home. Over this past summer of 2017 I have done a lot of healing, releasing and forgiveness around my life. Enough so that I have broken down my emotional barriers to share my personal experiences to help others, which is why I have become a life coach after receiving a bachelors in Psychology in Arizona. I have reflected on being in touch with what I went through at the time my seizures started and what events took place. Being this age, I felt pretty lonely going through all of this stuff and not being understood by anyone. Mostly people meant well, but how do you wrap your minds around a seizure disorder when you’ve never lived it or cannot see the damage? STORY TIME Let’s start a bit before the “war”, in a small town in Ohio. I was a young 13 year old girl who had been experiencing some stress at home with a sickness in the family, along with having a hard time making friends at a new school. I recall sitting bed one night with my sister in her room when I felt this small nod. It was so tiny that I thought it was maybe just me being so tired. It kept happening. Eventually, within the next school year, my stress started to heighten as well as the changes in my body. It finally showed up physically as my collapsing on the floor of my sister and I’s new bathroom getting ready for school and passing out. EKG’s, blood, and other tests were ran in hopes to figure out the cause of what was going on. We got our answer not too long after I returned to school. This is what I call “D-Day” for me. I remember vividly, being in 8th grade and going to lunch. After finishing all of my food, mostly everyone had left our table to go to the gym and play while I read my favorite book at the time “Maximum Ride”. Maybe one friend had been sitting across from be doing the same thing. Reading, yes reading, must have caused something to become triggered in side because that is the last memory I have.

MY FIRST BATTLE

If I could really describe a seizure, it would be something of this nature. Going into complete darkness….as if you do not exist. Consciously, you are not there and not aware of anything or anyone. It hits instantly for me, and time stands still in this dark void of a waiting room. Something seems (from what I am told) to take hold when I start to come to, because you could ask me anything under the sun and I will answer it full and truthfully. At some point, after the glaze in my eyes disappears I am released and return to my body with a welcoming headache of a thousand hangovers. My body feels like I have just been running for the past 3 days and on the way I pumped some mad iron at the gym while slamming my head against a brick wall. If I am lucky, I come out with no scratches or bruises. But alas, I’ve had (sometimes to me comical) bruises and scratches from a big fall. It’s needless to say, a magical moment in the family or relationship, depending on who is there.

 I awoke to the paramedics and my parents standing over me saying my name. I remember thinking to myself Oh no! If my parents are here….I must have done something pretty bad! “Kelly, can you hear me?”, one paramedic spoke. “Yes, what happened?”, my voice was horse for some reason. “You just had a seizure.”, I recall asking myself what a seizure was and looking it up later. Quite a smart 14 year old! But won’t lie, it was embarrassing for me at that age to of had a seizure in front of all of my classmates. Some even thought I was dying at that age, at the same time my dark humor sort of chuckles at one of my classmates running the hall screaming that “I am dying” (if she reads this I want to thank her for alerting the teachers that day). Also to the teacher who came running and flipped a table to get to me! Well, at least I didn’t get in trouble, but I still wish the two squirrels in my head started to duke it out over that nut at my house rather than in front of my whole entire class. YIKES! Needless to say, I went home early from school that day. With my extra time I remember looking up stuff about seizures, which lead me to the possibility of me having Epilepsy. My path lead me to Dayton Childrens Hospital, where I had my first EEG (fun little party of colorful wire strapped to your head with itchy glue that can give your skin reactions) and the results were more off the chart than a politician on lie detector test. My first diagnosis was based on the fact of my symptoms and the fact my EEG had been irregular. I was also met with a following of catscans and bloodwork to conclude what has started this wildfire inside my mind....conclusion....nothing...doctors do not know. It was true I had Epilepsy, but my rediagnosis came after I switched doctors and better medication, that might come with a later post. But cannot say regardless of the medical professionals I have met, each and every one taught me something different and how to become even more of my own advocate because who really knows your own body but you. Being a young tot, I was given my Keppra pills and told to be a good girl. If I took these things for the rest of my life, I’ll be ok. I wish it was so simple. Oh and by the way this disorder will never be healed and you probably will never drive (doctors words). But if you do drive, it comes with at least 3 months (6 months to a year depending where you are) seizure free (at the time impossible). Having a child might result in you giving your child the same disorder. Especially, what no doctor could understand is the side effect each medication gives you. Walking through the fog and having the feeling that every conversation is like reading one page in a book 5 times over and over again and still not getting the freaking words. People not quite getting why you talk slower when you felt like you processed everything just fine. Being underestimated when you have all the capabilities, just need a little extra time the world won’t give or why you can’t get up out of bed as fast as anyone or you’ll risk another seizure. The emotional and sometimes personality changes different medications can cause. Being taken advantage of in friendships, relationships, and not to mention working life. The fear your parents have for your future and the confusion/ frustration you have sifting through the fog that is your mind while losing yourself. People have a underlying stigma which I feel I want to mention in future blogs. I’ve spoken to many different people and told them about my life. Once you show them a face, the fear and the stigma releases. Honestly, I have many stories, but it would turn into a long long post.

Being put into this corner at times you underestimate yourself and how many options you have out there. But really if at one point thats all you hear, why not believe it. I didn’t know until I and my family reached out to others who had gone through the same or similar things. I am grateful to my family reaching out to the people they did in my time of need. It was a confusing time especially through my teens at first with my having multiple seizures and a doctor that was hard to reach.   It can be hard and at times lonely being: 1) a child with a disorder 2) a parent having a child with a disorder and doing your best

Becoming aware of diets like the Modified Atkins diet (if you have seizure, I suggest you look it up) is what started changing the chemistry in my brain. Along with going to a new doctor at the Mayo Clinic and becoming of all the other options as a adult and changing my medications to my needs. I personally drive right now, work through my own business, and strive to soon live on my own. It is possible, I have had my ups and downs where I have been set back with a seizure, but independence is possible. Maybe you’ll turn out more normal than me! But then again, who wants to be normal these days? =)

If you’re someone who has Epilepsy or knows of someone who has seizures please feel free to share. I understand what it is like to feel with Epilepsy not being as well known as it should. Becoming your own advocate and bringing light to the darkness of seizures is the best we can do. I’ve personally done this through my life coaching and my humor, because if you can’t laugh through the pain then you sink into it. WHAT I’VE LEARNED  These are things I have healed from, and have learned deep lessons over time that I want to bring to people. Taking the time to reflect and realizing what I have learned and blessing the broken road makes it all worth it. I have learned a deep sense of patience and can listen to those who tend to not be heard.  I tend to listen to my body way better over the years and have slowly gotten better at self love. Things like this always happen for a reason! I am perfectly imperfect as a result of it, so it is ok if I can’t get something right at first. The important part is that I have tried! I have learned if one thing doesn’t work, look elsewhere or outside the box and try everything! Take your time if needed, if someone is pushing you, they aren’t worth your time. Be grateful for what you have, not linger in what was loss. As a result the wounds, the scars, have made me a bad ass warrior along my journey to tell you the tale so far. I guess that kind of makes me cool!

If you’ve made it to this point I’d like to thank you for reading! And you’re awesome! If you liked this post feel free to look at my others and follow! https://kellyannecoaching.tumblr.com/post/165057903451/removing-the-mask

[themoneybuff-blog]

A Loan Won't Solve Your Money Woes If You Don't Fix These 10 Issues First

Sometimes even the best-prepared households get knocked sideways, financially speaking. Illness, unemployment, divorce, a car accident that triggers a lawsuit these and other situations can quickly put a hurt on the budget. In such times a personal loan or one of several types of home equity loans can provide a little breathing room until you rebuild your finances. As noted, money woes are sometimes the result of plain old bad luck (illness, job loss). However, sometimes were our own worst enemies: We buy too much, we save too little, we plan not at all. You cant get ahead that way. And you cant keep borrowing your way out of trouble. A loan wont help you unless you fix the following issues. 1. Not having a budget The simplest way to wind up in debt is to spend without thinking. Stop, then, and think for a moment about what you would like to have happen five years from now: buying a home, starting a business, getting married, traveling? When you create a budget, youre not just allocating your dollars youre enabling your dreams. An easy way to do it is the 50/30/20 budget: Spend no more than 50% of your take-home pay on essentials, 30% on wants, and 20% on saving (including retirement planning and an emergency fund). Plenty of budgeting apps exist as well (some are even free). 2. Not tracking spending You cant plug budget leaks unless you know where they are. Track your spending for a month, using pen and paper or a budgeting app. The cumulative effect could be eye-opening. For example, a relatives ex-husband was shocked shocked! to realize that spending $8 a day on fast food added up to $240 a month. His wife had made more money than he did, and their commingled finances made it easy for him to swipe a card and think no more of it. Heres hoping that your own habits arent quite that clueless. But even those of us who think were doing pretty well could be surprised by the cumulative impact of certain habits: beef jerky and a soda every time we pay for gasoline, daily iTunes downloads, $20 a week on scratch tickets. Add up the opportunity cost of those non-essentials, and ask yourself if you could do better. (Spoiler alert: You probably can.) 3. Keeping up with the Joneses Just because next-door neighbor bought the priciest riding mower on the market doesnt mean you have to ditch your trusty Snapper. When your coworker talks about all the activities her kid participates in, you dont have to sign your own tots up for horseback riding and soccer camp. You should not let other people determine your clothing, dcor, automobile, or anything else. Its no ones business that you bought a fixer-upper, that you drive your car until the wheels fall off, that your idea of nightlife is to read a new library book once the kids are in bed. Remember: The Joneses may be up to their hairlines in debt. They might be focused on keeping up, too with the minimum payments, that is. 4. Wanting your kids to have things you didnt Theres nothing wrong with this! Except when there is. Obviously you want your children to be well-fed, reasonably well-dressed, and housed comfortably. You might also want to give them treats and opportunities you never had, such as vacation trips, a big allowance, loads of extracurricular activities, and fully funded education plans. But dont let this noble impulse bust your budget. Just because your kid wants snowboarding lessons, a new smartphone every year, and a car of their own at age 16 doesnt mean you have to give these things. Staying out of debt and funding your retirement should take precedence over granting every whim. At the very least they should have some skin in the game: doing additional chores to help save up for a big-ticket item, say, or mowing lawns or babysitting for extra pocket money. Besides, we arent doing our kids any favors when we give them everything they want. Setting the bar too high now could mean setting them up for problems later on. Specifically, when they move out on their own theyll want to keep living in the style to which we have accustomed them and if their salaries dont allow for that, theyll wind up in debt. 5. Automatic upgrades Whats wrong with your old smartphone or car or whatever? If you bought it relatively recently and it still works, whats with the rush to replace? If you get the newest phone as soon as it comes out, or trade in your vehicle every few years, or replace anything else before it really needs replacing, ask yourself why. Because your co-workers do? Because some commercial made you want a new car? Because you dont know why, but you really, really want to anyway? Think about the opportunity cost of that cash. Then think about the way you want to live, and whether or not you want other people making decisions about your money. 6. Shopping mindlessly If you dont need anything, stay out of the mall. Going shopping with friends puts you in a position to find something you suddenly cant live without, or something that looks so cute on you or would be so cool in your house or so useful in the garage. Except that you were doing just fine without that item until you saw it. Ditto online shopping: Dont cruise your favorite retailers websites unless you have a specific reason to do so. Better yet, undo the one-click function and remove stored credit card info from all sites where youve shopped in the past. Bonus frugal points if you change your online passwords to something that has personal significance, such as WeDDingDAy8192020, or 19YEarsLEftonMORTgage, or EARLYretire2028 these little reminders of where your dollars could be going instead might help you from overbuying. 7. Always buying retail Why automatically pay full price? Instead of heading straight to the shopping center when you need (or want) something, consider these options instead: Thrift shops: Some are junky, but others are great. Its like a treasure hunt. (Pro tip: Find out if there are senior discounts or other special deals. For example, a secondhand store my daughter likes offers 50 percent off every Monday.)Consignment stores: Like thrift shops, except theyre more discriminating about whats accepted.Flash sales: While online shopping should be approached with caution, sometimes a sale really is too good to pass up. Hold yourself to limits, though: Just because those slacks are a great deal doesnt mean you need to buy a pair in every color.OfferUp, LetGo, Craigslist: Sometimes people want (or need) to get rid of furniture, tools, bikes or automobiles without the hassle of a yard sale. Caution is required, but you can get some darned good deals this way.Newspaper classified ads: Yes, really. A guy I know recently bought a pickup truck (necessary for his job) from a newspaper ad, spending many thousands less than he would have paid at a dealership.Freecyle: You might be surprised at whats being given away, no strings attached. Ive seen beautiful furniture, clothing, bicycles, toys, books, and other useful stuff offered up.Yard sales: Another treasure hunt. Ive seen items still in the shrink-wrap at these sales. Its a great place to buy baby stuff, including newborn-sized clothing that seems never to have been worn.Buy Nothing Facebook groups: Last month my partner and I just picked up an almost-new Weber grill. Some of the other things Ive seen lately: baby stuff, solid wood table, sewing machine, board games, computer desk, cookware, and tons of childrens clothes. All of it is free.8. Overdoing it on special occasions Are holidays and birthdays completely over the top? Maybe its time to tone it down. When they become extravaganzas of gift-giving, we cheapen the meaning and also set the bar higher and higher. A kid who gets tons of presents is unlikely to appreciate each one fully and more to the point, he develops a sense of entitlement. As for birthday parties, when did they start resembling mini-coronations? Even one-year-olds are having party rooms reserved, decorations put up, and gift registries established. Really? Think of all the money thats spent and quickly forgotten. Now think what those dollars could have done for a childs education fund or your own retirement. Celebrate joyously, but celebrate sensibly. 9. Overbuying for grandchildren While waiting in line at a crafts store, I met a woman who developed the bad habit of having small gifts waiting for her granddaughters whenever they visited and they visited a lot. The woman was fretting visibly as she looked over the items in the stores dollar section. What do you buy for someone who already has everything? she asked me. After hearing her story, I felt very sad not just for her but also for the kids. A visit to grandmas house had become an exercise in acquisition. The first thing they do upon crossing the threshold is to ask what theyre getting. (Does anyone else find that quite sad?) Expectations are made, not born. If youve gotten into the habit of treats and more treats, scale back. Replace them with activities and gifts of time. The kids who are used to getting stuff will gradually become used to not getting stuff and when occasionally you do treat them, it will mean a lot more. Again, the money you save could go toward their education funds or toward shoring up your own budget. You cant finance retirement. 10. Giving more than you can afford Charity is a noble impulse. But giving to the American Red Cross or the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals should be done after youve taken care of business. Specifically, after youve built an emergency fund, started saving for retirement, and taken care of any consumer debt. Put on your own oxygen mask first, financially speaking. Award-winning journalist and veteran personal finance writerDonna Freedmanis the author of Your Playbook for Tough Times: Living Large on Small Change, for the Short Term or the Long Haul and Your Playbook for Tough Times, Vol. 2: Needs AND Wants Edition. Read more: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/loans/blog/a-loan-wont-solve-your-money-woes-if-you-dont-fix-these-10-financial-issues-first/