#i think this is my riskiest post yet

[haunted-radishes]

I don’t understand how anyone can be anti-Jiang Cheng and pro-Nie Mingjue. Seriously every criticism I’ve seen leveled at Jiang Cheng, Nie Mingjue deserves it more.

Jiang Cheng threatens Jin Ling? Nie Mingjue has made multiple attempts on Jin Guangyao’s life, burned Huaisang’s possessions, and both of them are terrified of him. At least Jin Ling knows that Jiang Cheng has his back and wouldn’t actually seriously hurt him (i may be blending canons a bit here with the best possible interpretation of jc and the worst possible interpretation of nmj)

Jiang Cheng did nothing to protect the Wen remnants? My dude, have you forgotten that he was the only one to put in a good word for them at the conference? Which Nie Mingjue brushed aside? Or that Nie Mingjue had a hand in deciding the remnants’ fates and Jiang Cheng didn’t? (CQL canon. I don't remember if this is a thing in the novel)

Jiang Cheng alienated and antagonized his quasi-brother figure? See above point about Jin Guangyao.

Jiang Cheng is angry and violent?..... Do I really need to say anything?

Jiang Cheng’s fans are too defensive of him and act like he did nothing wrong? Have you ever seen anyone who isn’t a hardcore Jiggy apologist criticize Nie Mingjue?

[ironunderstands]

Here’s my comparison of Acheron, Aventurine and Ratio that I made in 2.1 which I forgot to upload here lol, I would like you to know my thoughts then because OH BOY HAS THIS AGED WELL

Aventurine, Acheron, Ratio and what the Nihility means to them

(Inspired by a convo I had with @aoxizu on Tumblr!)

The ending scene of the 2.1 update (the one featuring the black hole) is perhaps one of my favorite in all of fiction. I genuinely adore the way it was done and what it says about both the characters and life itself. This game has THEMES and by god did they come through then. So, I want to go over why I love it so much, and why it’s such a vital moment for Acheron, Aventurine and Ratios characters.

First, some context. Prior to Aventurine’s and Acheron’s conversation, Aventurine was taking the riskiest gamble of his life. Prior to the confrontation between him, Acheron and the Astral Express, Aventurine set up a plan to try and get to the secret at the heart of Penacony, as well as provide a ruse for Topaz and Jade to do, well whatever they planned on doing, the ending scene says they came there to “harvest”, so in 2.2 I assume we will find out what exactly that entails.

In order for this plan to work, Aventurine needed his cornerstone and to trick Sunday, so pre-2.0 he went to Dr. Ratio to include him in this plan, and set up a fake betrayal to fool Sunday and allow him to keep the Aventurine stone, with the Jade and Topaz stones also being acquired pre-Penacony. We know this because of Aventurine’s conversation with Topaz post 1.4 Belabog mission in which he requests her help in Penacony, something which we didn’t get confirmation on whether or not she accepted until 2.1, in which it’s revealed that one of the Cornerstones in the box is Topaz, meaning when they got confiscated in 2.0 she had already accepted his offer (we can assume a similar situation for Jade). 

Essentially, everything had been going according to plan for IPC (even if Aventurine was absolutely not having a fun time during it), Ratio even says as much, stating that the IPC is pleased to hear of his death sentence, so that part of the confrontation was already predetermined. This leaves Aventurine with one final gamble, hoping the Astral Express and Acheron take the bait, and that they will try and stop him from destroying the entire dreamscape, which if Acheron acts on it, he could entire the true dreamscape to find the truth, as only an emanator could break through the power of the harmony. 

Luckily for Aventurine, the gamble pays off and Aventurine does indeed draw her blade, both stopping him and sending them both into another plane entirely, it’s there in which one if my favorite scenes in fiction ever occurs. 

You see, even if Aventurine planned this all from the start, he hasn’t exactly been having a fun time while doing it. Being sentenced to death and then slowly hallucinating on Harmony sh1t until the manifestations of your past self and your present doubt and insecurities come to haunt you isn’t exactly fun for anyone, especially Aventurine. 1) Because his backstory is horrifically tragic and being faced with a reminder that you will never feel secure or valued or truly happy would be enough to erode away the psyche of anyone 2) A version of himself which claims to be his future, but is more like a personification of how much Aventurine doubts and hates himself. It’s even more telling that this isn’t the first time he has talked to this version of him, in fact it saved his life several times, meaning one of Aventurine’s driving motivations is his own self loathing. 

A trait that on the surface you don’t think he would have, Aventurine plays the role of the confident, unflappable gambler who always wins, when in reality his other hand is under the table, clutching his chips for dear life (something I quite literally paraphrased from the game). 

Therefore, going into this conversation, Aventurine is more relieved than anything, yet another one of his gambles paid off, but now he will have to see how to go from there, and that’s when Acheron’s advice comes in. She’s not stupid, and immediately recognizes that he won (or at least got what she wanted), and that killing him is meaningless, it’s not his time yet. However, what Aventurine is really focused on is the fact that out of all the emanators he could have come across, the one he faces now is an emanator of nihility.

And well, in the face of overwhelming nihility, one’s own value comes into question yet again, and that’s something Aventurine doesn’t even need the aeon for to ask. So, he talks to Acheron, as IX isn’t exactly going to answer, but she might know. Now, I’m just going to lay out the dialogue (then explain it obviously) because it’s genuinely amazing. 

Aventurine starts out by asking Acheron if she is an emanator of nihility, and I find her response to be really interesting. She doesn’t view herself as someone chosen by IX, as nihilism (the feeling of meaningless) envelops everyone equally, but she has simply walked in their shadow longer, tainted on the feeling. This leads Aventurine to question if this is the end, as if life has lost all meaning, in the face of overwhelming nihility, would that mean he’s dead?

Luckily Acheron immediately disagrees, stating that this is merely a manifestation of IX, not the end (he’s not dead guys idk how anyone can think that). However Aventurine still questions if his death has been determined, but Acheron doesn’t promise it. She mulls over his plan and and Aventurine asks her why she thinks he did it, and Acheron believes it was to find a secret deeper than the dream “deaths: the Real Penacony. He wonders how she found out, and Acheron says it’s the trailblazer’s identity which allowed her (and Aventurine) to come to this conclusion (we don’t yet know how this happened for either of them yet, but 2.2 should give answers).

They continue, Aventurine reveals that he believes the barrier the family built using the power of the harmony was not just to keep death out but the nightmare that is the real dreamscape. That the Memory Zone is simply a vast island built atop a violent ocean with the barrier keeping whatever nightmarish secrets from washing ashore. In order to break through this barrier and find the real dreamscape, which is why he kept killing himself earlier in the dream, but to no  avail. When Sparkle gave him the hint, he realized it was referring to Firefly, someone who had seen the other side and survived it, even if she was unable to let others know if it. It wasn’t proof of the families wrongdoing, but it was suspicious enough for him to try and get Acheron to kill him, rather than try and find the Meme to recreate Firefly’s death. 

Acheron points out just how insane this plan was, that if he hadn’t gotten lucky and crossed path with her, it wouldn’t have succeeded. Then, she commends him for playing it perfectly, pitting her perfectly against him and creating a plan that would be beneficial for the IPC no matter what happened, as even if he dies that would be great leverage. However, Aventurine disagrees with that last point, he truly can’t guarantee the IPCs success or even his own survival, that if she hadn’t drawn her blade it would have all be pointless. 

She’s doesn’t let him continue along this line of thought, what-ifs are pointless and he earned his ticket to the dreamscape. What matters now is what happens next, and Acheron asks him if he can return from the abyss (Childe reference?), but more importantly, she questioned if he has ever wavered, as even a gamble as seemingly insane as the one Aventurine just did seems to have not shaken him (from her POV, we know how terrified Aven was but everyone else minus maybe Ratio does). 

Aventurine tells her perhaps the most fundamental aspect of his character; he gambles simply because he has no other choice, betting on everything because he has nothing else to lose. Acheron tells him to wake up from this “dream” (aka find the true dreamscape), and she presumably goes to leave.

However (and this is my favorite part of the scene), he asks her one more question before she leaves, thinking she might know the answer as a pathstrider of nihility, “Why are we born in this world if it’s just to die?”

Her response is the best possible way you could answer this question. Acheron is an emanator of nihility, but she doesn’t think life is meaningless. The feeling of emptiness and pointlessness envelops everyone equally and that’s exactly why the nihility is pointless. It doesn’t matter that nothing matters, and we aren’t born into this world just to die. 

Aventurine still worries though, after all if the dice of fate will always roll to the same conclusion, then destiny is predetermined, so why struggle? Why does it matter?

Her answer again is not one he would expect, but one that absolutely makes sense. Acheron says the answer has been with Aventurine throughout his entire life and journey on Penacony, and that he’s already somewhat realized it. Aventurine said himself that sleep is a rehearsal of death, but people aren’t ready to welcome death, which is why they sleep to get a taste of it. Sleep is much like death, a realm of unreality in which anything might be possible within the dreams that define its existence. Death itself is an unreality, and nobody truly knows what it’s like to die, but dreams are the closest we might ever get before the end. Like Acheron says, in a way, dreams are just a preparation for death, a practice before it can be welcomed. 

However, much like how dreams can contain anything, even if we cannot choose to experience them or not, life itself is full of choices, regardless of if the ending is determined or not. Acheron understands that there are an infinite amount of things people cannot change before the end, but there are choices you can make up until it. Death is inevitable, but the life you live before it isn’t. This is what the words in red mean, both here and in my opinion, in general. 

Acheron reminds the trailblazer to make the right choice when time comes for it, in our first meeting with her. However, I don’t think the path we choose matters, but rather the the fact that we chose at all. Now the next paragraph will include a minor discussion of 2.2 leaks, so skip to the next slide if you don’t want to hear it. 

Sunday is getting a bossfight in 2.2, and it’s highly theorized that he works/believes in Ena the Order, especially because it looks like it’s their hand he’s touching in that one animation of the bossfight. Now here’s the thing, Order as a concept Chooses For You. I think the trailblazer making a decision is the thing that will save them and the rest of the gang, as within the face of an entity defined by limiting choice and free will, choosing to well, choose will save them (us?) and perhaps be the thing that gets the trailblazer acknowledged by the Harmony, a concept greater than Order. 

Anyways, after she says that, Acheron leaves Aventurine, saying the answer to his question was from his friend.

And Aventurine pulls out the vial from Dr. Ratio

The vial telling him that the only impossible thing in the dreamscape is dormancy (meaning the secrets from before are destined to rise and destroy the “island” that is Penacony.

The vial telling him to stay alive and wishing him the best of luck, which in the Chinese version is: 

Ratio answered both of Aventurine’s questions. The physical one, the one that pertains to Aventurines goals in Penacony, informing him of a vital aspect of the dreamscape that will help him win his gamble. But more importantly, he also answered Aventurine’s emotional one. What is the point of living? There is no real deeper meaning but to stay alive, survive and keep on living, because at the end of the day, that’s the only choice Aventurine can make, and that’s the one Ratio wants him to make.

Ratio Gives Aventurine A Reason To Live. 

Aventurine says that he has nothing left, his family is gone and he has nobody and nothing to fall back on which is why he gambles. But Acheron proves him wrong, he isn’t alone, she calls Ratio his “friend”, says that he’s the solution to his doubt. Someone caring about Aventurine is what saves his life, he walks into the massive black hole unafraid not because he holds some secret power or technique or trick, but because someone cares about him, and that someone taught him that caring about himself is enough. Aventurine didn’t need the power of an emanator to survive the true dreamscape, he only needed a friend, and the will to keep going that he realized from them. 

This is the true meaning of nihility, not that  Aventurine says that he has nothing left, his family is gone and he has nobody and nothing to fall back on which is why he gambles. But Acheron proves him wrong, he isn’t alone, she calls Ratio his “friend”, says that he’s the solution to his doubt. Someone caring about Aventurine is what saves his life, he walks into the massive black hole unafraid not because he holds some secret power or technique or trick, but because someone cares about him, and that someone taught him that caring about himself is enough. Aventurine didn’t need the power of an emanator to survive the true dreamscape, he only needed a friend, and the will to keep going that he realized from them. the universe is meaningless, but that regardless of if it has one or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s this realization that saves Acheron from losing herself like other emanators, it’s this realization that allows Aventurine to cross the event horizon of that manifestation of IX, and it’s this realization that I believe is why Dr. Ratio was never acknowledged by Nous: he was already treading the path of nihility without even realizing it. 

Now this is where my conversation with @aoxizu comes in, and I’m just gonna paste directly what they said because I think it’s amazing and everyone should read it, more importantly it’s what inspired this slideshow in the first place.

Ratio tells Aventurine to live despite everything because that’s the only thing he can do. It doesn’t matter how absurd life is, or how meaningless it all seems, choose to live anyways, because all you have are choices, and it doesn’t matter if they lead to some grand outcome or future or whatnot. To Ratio, life doesn’t, and shouldn’t care about that. Existence doesn’t need to make sense to be worth it, and that’s a sentiment both me, the characters and the og poster share.

Acheron is a lot like Ratio, she chooses to live despite having discovered the meaninglessness of the universe. In an existence seemingly black and white she chooses to paint the world red with her choices, accepting its reality and choosing to forge her own path rather than succumb to the madness. That’s why she says in her trailer, “there is no other choice but to move forward” and that’s because there really is no other choice, the universe doesn’t have some grand plan for anyone and you can’t turn back time to change anything, so all you can do is move forward.

My contribution! I’ve already kinda started but I do want to talk about how Ratio could be treading the path of nihility, but I’ll let this amazing post finish.

So yeah, amazing post, and I don’t think I could reword what they said in a better way than they did. Bringing up the philosophical aspects of this scene makes me really happy because they are so prominent, but most people aren’t really aware enough to notice. Absurdism is one of the driving inspirations behind the dreamscape, and it’s nice to see someone else besides you (see: my slideshow about Penacony and its American influences for an elaboration on this) bring it up. Honestly I think that philosophy fits Ratio far better than any of the Ancient Greek stuff you try to slap on him. Sure he obviously has the inspirations, but he’s closer in spirit to philosophers from the 1700s to now than them, a reinterpretation of Greek scholars rather than a copy of them. 

And this is where my idea that Ratio is a pathstrider of nihility (and he doesn’t even know it yet) comes in. He doesn’t view knowledge in the same way that pathstriders of Erudition do; knowledge for knowledges sake has never been something Ratio has cared about. Knowledge means something to Ratio because it allows people to better themselves, not because it has some sort of inherent value. That’s why he’s so determined to spread it, he wants everyone to reach their fullest potential, and dedicates his life to doing so. Regardless of if the universe has meaning or not, that doesn’t mean people can’t try and live their best lives, and that’s the philosophy Ratio truly believes in.

Moreover, this is why it’s so meaningful that Ratio is the one to help Aventurine, he’s teaching him something Ratio himself learned long ago when he got rejected by the Genius Society. Despite all of Ratio’s intellect and qualifications, he will never be good enough for them because he simply doesn’t view knowledge in the way they do. But instead of this meaninglessness (nihility) consuming him, Ratio dedicated his life to doing what brought him meaning and validation rather than searching for some hidden answers from the universe (specifically Nous).

And it’s not like he just accepted it happily. Ratio still wants their acknowledgement, and it still hurt (and hurts) him a lot to not have it, which is why I think he unknowingly strides the path of nihility. To Ratio, his view on knowledge is simply how knowledge is, and the fact that Nous will never perceive it in that way because his philosophy is more nihilistic than it is erudite is something Ratio might never come to terms with. But that’s ok. The point is that it’s ok, Ratio doesn’t need to be acknowledged or to understand the truth of the universe to be happy or do well for himself. Our universe might mean nothing and yeah that can and will suck, but existence is more valuable than some grand cosmic plan, and even if you don’t realize it, choosing to live is enough.

Continually, this reminds me of the conversation Aventurine had with his hallucination self, in which he told real Aventurine that him and Ratio are very similar. In a way, they are, both struggling to find meaning in their lives, and Ratio helps Aventurine find meaning in his without really even knowing how. Sure the note was meant to keep Aventurine going, but Ratio caused Aventurine to come to a conclusion that probably won’t find Ratio for a while. He helped Aventurine overcome nihility without even knowing it, without Ratio even realizing that THAT is the thing he has been struggling with, and the path he has been walking the whole time.

I really hope we get to see Ratio again, and at the very least I want a story quest for him because I want to analyze his brain under a microscope. Him and Acheron need to meet asap I want more Ratio content idc if everyone else in the fandom hates him I love him and he’s my pookie bear and I will write 3039493494 things about him when it comes to me UGHHHH. Anyways I didn’t know how end this so this is the ending yaaayyy! I hope you liked it and if you have any thoughts let me know! 

_________________________________________

Og post over! That was a long ass read and past me was absolutely cooking up a storm, oh god did this age well and I was right about or close to right about a lot of shit haha. Anyways I really do hope you enjoyed reading this, and this will hopefully provide some needed context for my next posts on this subject. Also feel free to repost this onto other sites I’m very proud of it

[steddieas-shegoes]

Drabble prompt you say? I got three?

1. Eddie being so protective and doting for a pregnant Steve (fem Steve, mpreg, or omega Steve it's your pick)

2. Eddie sneaking cute notes into Steve's locker

3. Steddie with ftm Steve and cis Eddie being big brothers/father figures to mtf Max

❤️🖤❤️🖤🦇🐼

Okay I know me and I know there is no actual way I could do the last one in 500 words or less so I may have to put a pin in that for another day. I'm putting the other two under the cut because this post will be longer with 2 ❤️

1. Eddie being so protective and doting for a pregnant Steve (fem Steve, mpreg, or omega Steve it's your pick)

"My ankles are swollen. This is the ugliest I've ever been. I'm hungry but the second I look at food, I want to puke, which was supposed to be done in the first trimester. And my hair is so frizzy even though I haven't done anything different!"

Steve was whining. He knew he was whining and he knew it was annoying, but he couldn't stop.

This was the worst pregnancy ever.

Their first two babies were great, almost picture perfect, even.

This one was going to be their last at the rate Steve was suffering.

"I know, sweetheart. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah, you can cut your dick off. I no longer need it."

It would be funny if Steve wasn't completely serious.

"Anything that won't kill me, maybe?" Eddie hesitated to ask.

Steve's moods had been all over the place. It's how he first figured out he was pregnant way before the morning sickness even kicked in.

"Foot rub." Then Steve sat up. "No, actually, don't touch my feet. I want strawberries and peanut butter and celery."

Eddie stood up to head to the kitchen, hoping like hell that they actually had all of those items in the kitchen.

"Wait. Scratch the celery. I can already taste how terrible it is. Maybe some carrot juice?"

Eddie nodded.

This was how it had been for almost a month. The doctor said it's actually normal, that he'd just been the lucky the first two times, but Eddie knew Steve didn't like being like this.

He searched the kitchen quickly, startling when Steve called his name from the couch.

"Yes, my love?"

"No on the peanut butter. It sounds greasy."

"Greasy?" Eddie whispered to himself. "Okay! Coming!" He said louder.

He scrambled to get everything together quickly, but paused when he saw the picture they'd hung on the fridge of the two of them, Jamie, and Melody at the doctor's visit that told them they were having a boy.

All this was annoying, but he knew Steve felt worse, and he knew it would be worth it very soon.

---------------------------------------------

2. Eddie sneaking cute notes into Steve's locker

Steve was never going to know it was him, he was so careful.

He'd been getting away with it for two years, always rushing to put the notes in his locker during classes that he knew Steve couldn't leave.

Wish you could hear the song I wrote for you. It's loud, you'd probably hate it. But I think you'd like that someone sees you. - E

It was his riskiest one yet, never having put an initial or something that could give him away like the fact that he'd written a song about him.

Steve would probably start narrowing it down pretty quickly, though he'd probably not assume it's a guy, at least.

Hopefully.

Third period was the best time to slip notes into his locker; He had Ms. Sanderson, who was known for never letting kids leave class, even for the bathroom.

Eddie ran to his locker, shoved the note inside, and turned to see Steve standing at the end of the row.

"You know, last year, Tommy was convinced it was Nancy fucking with me," he said, arms crossed across his chest as he leaned against the lockers. "And this year, I just kind of figured it was someone who was just shy. Maybe had a crush on who I was and didn't know how to stop once I wasn't that person anymore."

Eddie remained silent.

Steve started walking closer.

"But then, a good friend suggested that I may just have an unconventional secret admirer. Someone who would be scared to come forward for other reasons."

Steve stopped right in front of Eddie.

"And now I think I get it. But you know what?"

"What?" Eddie breathed out.

"There was no reason to be worried. I'm kind of into unconventional."

Steve's lips were on Eddie's before he could process the word.

He pulled away after a couple seconds, frantically looking around the halls to make sure no one saw.

"It's okay, I checked first. You alright?" Steve's concern was a lot.

"Bathroom. I wanna kiss you for real. Not out here."

Steve blushed and tugged on his hand to get him to follow him, both of them giggling as they made their way down the hall to the bathroom.

They spent the rest of the period there, and some of the next one.

And long after they both graduated, long after they survived things they shouldn't have, their initials were still carved on the back of the stall door in a heart.

[kay-elle-cee]

Hi wow hello omg!! Thank you so much for agreeing to do this Ask the Author with me (': I just have a few questions about your first ever smutty fic, Things That Haven't Happened Yet...

What is your personal favorite (real) sex scene in the fic?

Which smut scene do you think is the most well written?

Which smut scene did you write first?

Do you plan to write more smut?

What's your favorite overall scene in the fic?

Whose POV was harder to write?

Knowing the other dreams James and Lily had but you perhaps didn't get to write about, who do you think has a naughtier mind between the two of them?

[SPOILER ALERT] Did they actually eat lunch? James surely needed some carbs by that point but there were other things to finish when the story ended. 👀

my article will be published in vanity fair next week, thx again for interviewing w me <3

Omg Charles 🙈 Thank you so much for all these questions, I'm so so so happy you loved TTHHY and am HAPPY to answer these questions!

Under the cut for spoilers and NSFW discussion!

1. What is your personal favorite (real) sex scene in the fic?

Ah this is so hard, because honestly I think it’s a tied between the first two. Because the first one is just the raw kind of heat and frustrated passion, but the second one is a little of that with the introduction of “oh wait actually maybe that’s not all it is”. If I HAD to choose, I guess I’ll say the second. Would love to hear other people’s opinions!

2. Which smut scene do you think is the most well written?

Okay I had to go back and reread them all and maybe it’s a bit of a cop out but I love the shower scene. It’s less detailed than the others but it’s very clear in my head and I liked the transition between the sex and the more intimate moments.

3. Which smut scene did you write first?

I mostly went in order for this fic! So that first time in the Order library was the first! (The only scene I remember writing out of order was that final scene outside of cottage—I've had that written since before chapter 3 was posted!)

4. Do you plan to write more smut?

I do! It won't be in everything I write, but I do have some other concepts/fics in my drafts. I unexpectedly had a ball with this and it's kind of hard to stop lol.

5. What's your favorite overall scene in the fic?

Shower scene. Hands down now and forever the shower scene. The idea that that's kind of like the shift in everything, and them finishing but just....staying there, connected, kissing (and through those kisses, at least on James' part, communicating things he's too scared to say). And then the follow up and the intimacy of just like, being together and showering together and those kind of gentle, not necessarily sexual touches. UGH. I'm sorry this is the scene I'm most insane over.

6. Whose POV was harder to write?

Weirdly, Lily's? I feel like I've been SO in her head lately for some other projects, it was just nice to be in James' head. And James is very straightforward, I think, with what he feels in this fic, whereas Lily has to come to terms with it. (Not that I don't LOVE writing that, but I think just wanting to make sure I wrote that believably contributed to a little more friction while writing Lily).

7. Knowing the other dreams James and Lily had but you perhaps didn't get to write about, who do you think has a naughtier mind between the two of them?

Okay so. I think for Lily for so long this has just (in her conscious mind) been about physical attraction. Her garden dream is the most...I'll say out there of the fantasies—all of James' were private moments (even the drunken alleyway snog), but Lily's garden moment was I think the riskiest we saw (OUT in the OPEN). So WITH all that preamble, I think Lily's dreams were a little more out there and riskier (against a window, chances of being caught, etc) BUT I think she's a bit better at controlling herself once they're together, and it's James that can't keep his hands off her and possibly instigates more of those scenarios.

8. [SPOILER ALERT] Did they actually eat lunch? James surely needed some carbs by that point but there were other things to finish when the story ended. 👀

Listen, maybe it's because I'm old (compared to them) but I do think they ate lunch. I think it was a very quick lunch and Lily was adorably a little nervous having him in her little flat, but James was just kind of in awe of this place he'd only seen like once irl and then reoccurring in her dreams of them. When they were done with lunch (or ate what they both deemed was 'enough for now'), she showed him her appreciation for the garden. They did not make it to her bedroom.

Thank you SO much for these questions, Charles! They were so fun to answer and I'm always happy to scream about my fics into the void. 🥰

[thornsofthefuture]

an interview with lucy lamb — a talk about couchsurfing, australia and the afterlife

today's thorns of the future guest is lucy lamb, a rising star of modern post-crystal castles electronic music, inspired by early 2010s fashion. lucy is an artist from melbourne, australia. she describes her music as "alt, indie, electronica, dance-pop and witch house with elements of darkwave". lucy is a producer and a singer, as well as a lyricist. her first ever release was a single titled "hello", which was self-released by lamb through distrokid.

thorns of the future: how did you start your journey with music?

lucy: I’ve always loved making music ever since I was a little kid. Started singing lessons when I was like 7 years old, fell in love with Miley Cyrus which was the reason I wanted to become a singer lol. Started making music when I was about 16, and released my first EP when I was 18.

thorns of the future: what are some of your favourite songs right now?

lucy: My favourite songs right now are Canary Wharf Drift by Bassvictim and Your Face by Wisp.

thorns of the future: who inspired you to make music?

lucy: Literally Miley Cyrus in the Hannah Montana tv show I was so obsessed.

thorns of the future: what is your craziest experience during a live show?

lucy: I played in this club in Tokyo which was a wild experience for me. There was no stage so I was just on the danceflooor with the crowd and kind of just walking around like weaving through everybody with my microphone which I definitely wasn’t used to.

thorns of the future: what software do you use to make music?

lucy: I use Logic Pro, I’m still learning how to use it properly though.

thorns of the future: what's "the other side" about?

lucy: The Other Side is about crossing over to the after life pretty much. It talks about being scared to die and the things you would miss. It can kind of be interpreted as being about any sort of transition from one thing to another, any sort of change, but I think the obvious one (especially when watching the music video) is the transition to death. It’s just a fictional sort of story if you will.

thorns of the future: are you planning any new releases?

lucy: I have 3 singles coming out in the next few months all with music videos. ‘Bed of Snow’ is coming out on September 20th and I’m so excited for it. All the songs are of course dance/electronic but I’m leaning a little bit into like indie rock elements in two of them, with the third being like a full commitment to witch house.

thorns of the future: what's a country you would never travel to?

lucy: Probably North Korea for obvious reasons.

thorns of the future: tell us about the things you enjoy most, except for making music.

lucy: I love travelling that’s my second favourite thing in the world after music. I went on a year long trip around the world in 2022 which was absolutely amazing. I went on a 5 month road-trip around Australia earlier this year too. It’s a little hard to travel like that while also doing music so I think for now I’m taking a break from travelling. I also love animals, especially weird exotic ones. The weirder they look the more I love them because it just makes me thing how weird and amazing the world is.

thorns of the future: have you ever met anyone famous from the electronic scene? who was it and how was your experience with them?

lucy: I can’t say I have yet. Someone I’d LOVE to meet is the guys from Air. They’re a huge inspiration for me and one of the most talented electronic duos I know.

thorns of the future: what's the riskiest thing you've ever done?

lucy: The riskiest thing I’ve done was probably when my friend and I did couchsurfing through Europe. There’s this app called couchsurfing where you can arrange to stay at strangers’ houses for free while you’re travelling. We were pretty nervous every time we stayed with someone because there was always the question of like what’s in it for them? Why are they letting random people stay at their house for free? The people we stayed with sometimes turned out to be weird and kind of put us on edge but a lot of the time they were really cool people too so. We were literally on such a tight budget we had no other option but to do our accomodation this way.

thorns of the future: are there artists you truly hate? why?

lucy: I don’t really hate any artist in terms of the kind of music they do like I respect all genres and whatever kind of music you wanna make even if I don’t like it. Like it’s got nothing to do with me so I don’t really care enough to HATE any artist.

thorns of the future: what is the best live show you've ever been to?

lucy: There’s this experimental electronic duo from Melbourne called Npcede. I played a show with them and they were really great. It was a guy singing and a guy playing bass. They both had like really amazing stage presence and interacted with the crowd so much. The lead singer started playing the electric guitar with a violin bow halfway through as well I loved it. I also have to mention seeing the band Film Noir in Berlin, they’re an indie rock band and the lead singer’s energy was so compelling it made the whole thing sooo immersive and fun.

thorns of the future: name one thing you really hate about australia.

lucy: Honestly I think Australia is a great place to live I think it’s beautiful, it’s diverse and it’s very liveable. If I had to say one thing I hated about it I guess just how far away it is from everything lol because it’s always so hard and expensive to travel anywhere.

thorns of the future: tell us about the weirdest thing that has happened to you as an artist.

lucy: The weirdest thing that’s happened to me as an artist is probably when someone randomly approached me on the street when I was in Tromso, Norway, and told me they recognise me and love my music. Was superrrr weird for me because Tromso is a pretty small town with not many people and it was just really random to meet someone who knows me there.

we would like to thank lucy lamb for answering all of our questions. we really appreciate you. that’s all for now.

images & videos: lucy lamb

spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/1fLl0QDFau1trbJkpjvyEt

instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/luucylamb/

hyperfollow:

https://hyperfollow.com/lucylamb

peace.

[safyresky]

Frostmas: Year Seven

Now on an ao3 near you! AND a fanfiction dot net!

Year Seven

Free from the lockdown, Jacqueline concocts her wildest, riskiest plan yet. Meanwhile, Santa Jack preps for the Grand Opening of the North Pole Resort!

What's 🆕 NEW 🆕 in Year Seven:

It has been 100% REWRITTEN in its ENTIRETY because the ENTIRE PLOT OF THE CHAPTER TOOK PLACE IN ONE DAY. ONE! DAY! INSANITY!

So THAT'S been fixed

Jumped from 16k to 26k words, whoops

Mainly dialogue!

LOTS of fresh scenes, including, but not limited to:

-> TWINS AND JACK BONDING!

-> YET ANOTHER GLIMPSE INTO THE COLD FRONT RETELLING FROSTMAS TO ONE ANOTHER PRIOR TO JACQUELINE STARTING TO RECOUNT IT FOR US!

-> MARSHAL THE FIRE MARSHAL TAKING CENTRE STAGE!

You can read more about the whole ass, MONTH LONG PROCESS!!! REWRITING THIS THING WAS! When I get the BTS up. It's almost done, tbh tho, I'm not feeling it today? Main goal is to get Y7 posted and then go play viddy game on my day off. Maybe set the front garden on fire. We'll see how the day progresses 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wondering why the heck you are seeing a reference to FROSTMAS in your tag crawl? This is why! I wrote a fic about it!

The Twelve Years of Frostmas

Nobody but he and I knew the truth. Jack wasn’t supposed to be Santa; I wasn’t supposed to be Jack Frost. He thought being Santa would fix everything. He was horribly, horribly mistaken. [My take on Jack’s reign as Santa during the Escape Clause. MAJOR OC involvement AND First Person POV from said OC. Finally cross posting THIS behemoth! Enjoy!]

Curious? Take it from the top: [ao3 | ff dot net]

And, of course. Enjoy this Y7 snippet!

More than happy to leave the room, Bernard obliged. He was out the door and down the hall faster than I could say thank you, glaring at all of the Resort paraphernalia as we wandered over to the lounge. I watched with interest. The expression on his face was so intense, I couldn’t resist asking.

“Copper for your thoughts?”

"I wish I could just...get rid of it all."

"We could burn it. Just send it all up in flames! Whoosh, bye-bye Resort sleet!”

"Your fascination with arson concerns me, Jacqueline. Especially considering your alignment and all."

“What can I say? I am part summer sprite, after all—” I came to a dead stop, the risky plan I mentioned beginning to take shape in my head. “Oh. Oh. OH! Bernard, what if we DID?”

He stopped and turned, looking my way incredulously. “What?”

“What if we did burn it to the ground?!”

“I think I just pointed out why we can’t. You’re a winter sprite; I’m an elf. I’d love to set it all on fire but in all seriousness, we can’t. Not to mention, everything is inside the Workshop. I want to see the Resort razed to the ground, but not the Shop itself, and I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt. We can’t set it on fire.”

“You and I can’t. But I know somebody—bodies, even—who can…”

Bernard’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean—”

“Oh but I do.”

“Jacqueline, you know why that’s dangerous, right? Like, I don’t have to explain it to you, right?”

“I know, I know! Please, I know first-hand. I’ve got scorch marks to prove it. But! You said it yourself! You wish you could burn it all. And-and the Council asked me to do whatever it takes to delay this nonsense," I said, kicking a plush Santa-Jack toy away from me. The toy hit the base of one of the kiosks, the tiny voice box inside the toy yelling something that sounded a lot like Happy Frostmas! “You really want THAT,” I pointed to the terrifying toy, “to be the new norm around here?”

“Of course not!” He walked closer to me, his face angry. “I hate this, Jacqueline. You know that.”

“Bernard. I could freeze and destroy every single kiosk, over and over and over again. I could destroy a bunch of merch, a bunch of toys, I could tear down that whole stage with one errant icy breath. But you and I both know that it won't be enough to delay the North Pole Resort for even a second. I know it's risky but I promise, they will be careful. We can plan this; make it a controlled blaze! The Workshop, the homes, will all be fine. The elves will all be fine. And if it goes to plan, the Resort stuff will be a pile of ashes by the time we’re through with it.”

Bernard looked conflicted for a moment. I knew that this was a risky plan, and very outside of what B-Man was used to…but it was the only thing I could think of that had any chance of delaying, or perhaps even stopping the resort.

“Father Time said to do whatever it takes to delay the Resort.”

“I know! I know what Time said. But arson, Jacqueline? You really think this is the answer?”

“I don’t know of any other event that delays an opening or shuts something down as easily or efficiently as a fire.”

Bernard pursed his lips; he looked conflicted…but he was thinking. Oh yes, he was thinking. And as I watched him think, I knew that he knew that it was doable. He was figuring out exactly how we could systematically destroy the entirety of the Resort surplus while keeping everything else and everyone else safe.

“Bernard, it would make their day. Maybe even their lives.”

“So far.”

“So far. Come on. What do you say?”

“Honestly? It’d make my day too. I could touch base with the fire elves…work with the shift managers of each department to pick a lighter workforce day…it may not stop the Resort entirely…but we gotta try.”

[find out how this goes by reading the remainder of Y7 HERE on ao3 and HERE on fanfiction dot net!]

[2manyfandoms2count]

Clowny McClown face

No, this post isn't about Harry Clown.

It's about me grasping at straws to explain Adrien and the rings in a non Senti light :')

(I promise I'm kind of making peace with it, but I still want to try and find an alternative because at this point it almost seems too easy)

Let's start with the Risk events:

🦋Adrien's first attempt at rebellion in the office: It collapses like a cheese soufflé (thanks Plagg for the brilliant analogy), but Adrien barges in, in his pyjamas, in a room with his father, and other people. I feel like this is important. Adrien wants to confront his father, but if his confrontation with Lila in S3 is any indication, he likes to keep other people out of it. This is a private matter, Bob Roth & co don't need to know about it.

🦋"Has there ever something you wanted to tell someone but you just couldn't do it, as if some kind of invisible force was holding you back?" *inhales* Okay, this one is tricky to explain, but what if this "invisible force" was actually Bunnyx's time shenanigans? Think about it, Marinette confessing her love to Adrien has always been tied with a reveal of some kind (Chat Blanc, Ephemeral, Oblivio). But there is something kind of similar going on with Adrien disobeying his father;

In Chat Blanc, that's how Gabriel learned Chat Noir's identity (when he ran after Marinette), leading to him revealing he's Hawkmoth, leading to Chat Noir getting Akumatised. Cue the end of the world.

In Season 4, Shadowmoth is cornered (and going mad) which is why he's the first to take a risk. He did it in Ephemeral; Adrien didn't completely disobey him, but he wasn't on his side, and he tried to reject his power. But Adrien got Akumatised, and again, cue the end of the world.

And that's just a specifically in-universe interpretation! It could also "just" be the fear of being pulled out of school/scolded/physically abused, which would be very in character for Gabriel given his clear anger management issues.

🦋 "I can't disobey him/You can't, but I can [...] Maybe your fear prevents you from seeing a hidden side of him!" This sounds a lot like abuse, tbh. The abused person cannot or will not stand up to their abuser because of the fear of the consequences. Just picture Adrien's situation: he lives alone with his father (+Nathalie but she's not really on his side). His mother is dead. He used to be kept secluded in a gilded cage. Gabriel in a position of power, Adrien has everything to lose in this situation. And beyond that, it's hard for him to go snooping around trying to find dirt on his father - what will he do with it? His father is an influencial public figure, who would believe him if he found anything? And what fate awaits Adrien if Gabriel does get arrested, even if it isn't because someone found out about him being Shadowmoth? It's really not an easy situation to be in, but there's enough distance between it and Félix for him to do something (not to mention that he wouldn't be the primary one who'd have to deal with the consequences).

🦋"This is our riskiest plan yet, there are so many parameters we have no control over. If anything were to go wrong, I want to leave something of the Agrestes behind. I'm trusting you with my wife's ring. And my son." Yes, this is super sus, but this does have a double meaning - don't forget Nathalie's leaving with Adrien - she'll therefore literally be the one who's watching over him. As for the ring, I don't have time to research it right now, but this could be a way of pretending to be engaged, so Nathalie can stay in the picture even if the plan fails.

🦋When Félix stands up to Gabriel after he discovers Emilie's body: Gabriel starts by being angry, but then he softens. In this instance, I think his problem isn't that "Adrien" isn't obeying when he should be because of Senti business, but that he reminds him of Emilie. And that's when he reaches for Emilie's ring.

THIS ISN'T THE FACE OF A MAN WHO'S LOST CONTROL OVER A BEING HE COULD CONTROL. THIS IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO REALISES HIS SON IS GROWING UP AND LOOKS LIKE HIS MOTHER.

And the show has put a lot of emphasis on the fact that the ring Gabriel has been wearing this whole time is Emilie's, which, again, Senti business, but what about the connection to his wife? That's what the ring twitch could be.

And this isn't the first time Adrien has reminded Gabe of Emilie, when he stood against him, even if Gabriel wasn't aware that it was Adrien speaking in one of the instances. Indeed, in Simon says, Gabriel compares Adrien, and then Chat Noir, to Emilie, because of his sensitivity, and then his temper. But note: it's the sensitivity he associates with Adrien, not the temper. And in this instance, he sees "Adrien"'s temper. Which is also supposedly his mother's.

🦋Then Félix caves when Nathalie says it's time to go and the ring comes into the frame, but honestly that could be him deciding to mime Adrien's behaviour. Félix is very good at sensing a shift in the atmosphere, and there clearly was one there. It's safer to comply, to not get discovered.

🦋Then his whole skit to Ladybug is a bit too defeated, but it's not completely out of character. And what was he supposed to do? Take Ladybug aside and tell her he's got the Miraculous, so it doesn't matter if people are sad? He's taking them far away from Paris (which is useless, since they're not real, but the sentiment is there).

And coming back to previous events:

🦋 In Ephemeral, again, there was a sus ring twist and change in attitude from Adrien. But it could be something to do with Adrien being tired (he just woke up, don't forget, and he stayed up late talkig with Marinette), him having just been bombarded with extremely upsetting pieces of information (my mother is in the basement - Shadowmoth is my father - he's been trying to revive her - he knows I'm Chat Noir), without a good emotional support system.

🦋 In Félix, Amélie says she wanted the rings back because Félix kept nagging her about them. And of course, she must have told him about the rings at some point, or Félix wouldn't know about them, but if you listen to her, she probably wouldn't have tried to get at least one ring back without Félix being obsessed with them. And maybe this is a special connection type of thing, where he sensed the importance of these rings without knowing the whole story, but maybe this is a quid pro quo situation, where Félix genuinely thought they were important to his mother, and Amélie thought they were important to Félix (*cue Spiderman pointing meme*).

🦋Also, and this doesn't mean anything much, but there's no precedent of a sentimonster staying out in the wild after their creator has died. Feast was the oldest Sentimonster we've seen, and it was created by Master Fu. It doesn't mean that a Senti can't outlive a holder, but it doesn't mean that it can either.

🦋And finally, in Kuro Neko, when Nathalie comes to notify him of Adrien being unwell, Gabriel says "He'll [get better soon]. He's an Agreste." And he talks about "his son" Adrien a lot. I could be completely wrong about this, but I somehow doubt that Gabriel would manage to form such a strong paternal bond with a Senti, i.e. a child/being that isn't really his own.

Anyway, until proven otherwise in 18 days at the latest, I'll be on the "Gabriel is an awful father who abuses his human son" hill.

[lyteupthelyfe]

Hey!

Since it seems both my posts and this blog have been getting a little bit of traction, I thought I might as well introduce myself properly to y'all!

Hi! I'm lyte! I run this blog/account! I hope you have a good time here!

More (blog type, fanfic I'm writing, blog future) below the cut!

So yeah, I'm lyte, and for clarity, yep, this is a multifandom blog, mainly for Fire Emblem: Three Houses and RWBY, though the other fandoms in my bio mean that if I wanted to, I would unhesitatingly post about, like, Octopath or Breath of the Wild, or whatever.

And on that, this is mainly a thoughts/discussion/theories/analysis blog, as in if you looked through all of my original posts and reblogs that I've added on to, like 90% of it is gonna be a theory or discussion or the like. And, reblogs/comments etc are encouraged! If you've got thoughts you wanna add to something I've posted, go ahead! Same for if you wanna know my opinions on something or respond to an ask meme--the askbox awaits!

Kinda going off the multifandom angle, I'm also a multishipper. If/when I post (or even write about in a fic) shipping content, that doesn't mean that I'm ride-or-die for that ship and that ship only by far.

Which reminds me, I haven't said it already but I am on Ao3 as lyteupthenyte! I have two active fics at the moment:

The Apex of the Worlds, an epic, multi-pov crossover fic that collides the worlds of Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Octopath Traveler, and the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and is currently about a quarter or so done. You don't need to have necessarily played all three games, as I try my best to introduce each character/world so that while a google or tumblr search might be needed here or there, you won't be completely lost in the dark (hopefully). Synopsis as follows:

"After one hundred years, Link has to stop Ganon from rising again, and so too must Zelda. Sidon lives in the shadow of Mipha, while Yunobo thinks himself falling short of Daruk's legacy. Paya hopes to protect the Sheikah, all the while running from the tragedy of her past, and Teba does his part for the Rito by tamping on his deepest calls for righting the world. Riju is lost on how she can lead a people she's left endangered, but Adrian—born of the Yiga—is just as torn between his orders and his heart. Across an impossible distance, Edelgard's fragile dream is loftier than the stars themselves, while Primrose just wants to hide from herself.

But...what if they can somehow turn their world—their worlds—on its head? Just what would happen next?"

And Placeholder (Right Where You Left Me) is a short, also currently quarter-done, character study/fill-in-the-gaps RWBY fic about General Ironwood and an almost questionable rule-bending friendship with Ambrosius, the Relic of Creation, as he moves through his own life and the events of Volume '0', Volume 2, Volume 4 and Volume 6. Synopsis:

James Ironwood is usually a stickler for the rules. Rules like "Don't keep the Relics outside the Vaults."

Except, ever since he met Ambrosius, the Relic of Creation, he doesn't really want to follow that rule. For some ridiculous, gods-damned reason, he can't bring himself to put the Staff back in the Vault, not yet. Not. Yet.

But why? Why, why, why? For someone to talk to? To talk to without a moment passing by? To hold onto mystery and fantasy for just that bit longer?

For anything, is it really worth the riskiest friendship in all of Remnant?

Absolutely.

And, well, that's about it. I'll post about things I like, updates to the fics, any new fics I might write, thoughts, theories and discussions.

Oh! And just as i remember, there are a bunch of #lyte “….” tags on my blog! The most active one atm is “lyte does contraclass”, which follows my current fe3h playthrough!

Oh, and per my blog title, I absolutely do simp for many fictional men because I think they are all very pretty. But I won't post simp content. Probably.

At least... I don't... think... I will?

[atsuumus]

risks

pairing - ushijima wakatoshi x reader

synopsis - 

word count - 1.05k

a/n - i’m sorry this is so late !! i was a little busy ,, i hope you enjoy anon ! thank you for requesting :< it really made my day. feel free to tell me if this wasn’t what you wanted or if there’s something you’d like changed ! 

at this point, you’re pretty certain that the entirety of shiratorizawa academy knows of the glaringly obvious crush you have on resident volleyball ace, ushijima wakatoshi. you’re kind of used to the vaguely pitying gazes your peers throw you in the hallways, knowing of your very public, very obvious, very fruitless attempts at showing him your affections.

you have tried everything. you’ve gone through multiple websites and magazine articles with titles like ‘ show him you like him ! ’ and ‘ 10 ways to confess !! ( without confessing ) ’, tried every technique they’ve offered you, asked friends, family, and sometimes even utter strangers for tips and ideas, but nothing has worked. the bento you left on his table, everything inside shaped like hearts, was accepted with a thank you, eaten, and then never talked about again. the love letters you left on his table replied to with post-it notes that had something along the lines of ‘ thank you for your kind words ’ written along the bottom. every single compliment you pay him in person has failed to fluster him - no matter what you say, he responds with a sincere ‘ thank you ’ and sometimes pays you a compliment back, but you know that he views everything you do and say platonically.

tendou has patted your back apologetically so many times that you think your uniform blouse now bears a permanent mark in the shape of his hand.

the worst part is that you know that he genuinely doesn’t see that you have a crush on him. he’s a very blunt, honest person - one of the reasons why you like him so much - and would probably reject you straight to your face if he knew. it’s a blessing and a curse. a blessing, because it means that you might still have a chance, but a curse, because you have done everything in your power to show him that you are interested in him in a romantic way, yet he still hasn’t picked up on it.

well. . . almost everything.

straight-up confessing to him is the one thing you haven’t tried. it is your last resort, the riskiest choice and the one that requires the most courage. a confession would either free you from the never-ending hell that is trying to subtly hint at the unbelievably oblivious ushijima, but it could also hand him the ability to shatter your heart into a million tiny pieces with just a few words. however, it is quickly becoming more and more apparent that it is also the only way the stoic male will ever get the hint, so you suppose that you’ll just have to bite the bullet and do it.

this is how you find yourself standing in front of the doors to the gym, waiting patiently for the object of your affections to come out. your own club activities ended not too long ago, and you figured the volleyball club would be packing up soon. you were right - you can see tendou picking up the balls around the court, a ball of bright red bobbing up and down next to a very familiar silhouette. it’s almost as if he senses you peeking in through the window, because the boy turns around and spots you, shooting you a discreet grin like he knows what you’re here to do. 

other than them, though, the gym seems strangely empty.

tendou disappears into the storage room with an armful of blue and yellow volleyballs, and you take a deep breath. this is it. you have two pints of ben and jerry’s stored away in your fridge just in case. you’re ready. you can do this.

you open the door to the gym, pink already dusting your cheeks as you gather all the courage in your body. the first call of his name is soft, timid, barely more than a whisper, and he obviously doesn’t hear it. you bite your lip before trying again.

“ ushijima ! “

this time, he hears you. he turns, a question in his eyes, and you beckon to him shyly, motioning for him to come outside.

you think you have never felt more fear than when he complies, looking more than a little confused. your heart slams against your ribcage when he steps outside before sliding the door shut and turning to face you expectantly, waiting for you to say whatever it is you had presumably called him outside to say.

“ i. . . um. . . ” now that you’re really about to do it, you realise you don’t quite know what to say. should you just keep it short and simple ? or maybe you should do that whole speech you practiced in the mirror. all the articles run through your mind all at once, and then it occurs to you that it really isn’t too late to run away. you need to calm down.

you take another deep breath, holding it before letting it go, releasing all the tension in your frame as you do so. eight letters, three words. even if you get your heart broken here, it’s okay. you have two pints of ben and jerry’s ready for you at home.

so you look him in the eye with a determination you never knew you had, and you stop fidgeting with the sleeves of your blazer. it’s getting late, and the sky’s already dark - the days never last very long in the winter, and the cold paints your pink cheeks red. ushijima’s expression shifts, though you can’t quite identify it.

“ i like you, ” you begin, and while your voice wavers a little and your cheeks are warm, you continue. “ romantically. i have a crush on you. you don’t have to say anything, but i just wanted you to know. ”

there’s a moment of silence. you’re just about to run away, taking his lack of reaction as a rejection, but then he smiles. under the light of the moon and what leaks through the windows of the gym, his eyes press into crescents and his lips curve upwards. it reassures you, somehow, makes you relax again, catching onto the hidden meaning behind the smile. 

you think you’ll take more risks in the future.

[marjansmarwani]

2021 fic wrap up!

Tagged by the lovely @carlosreyess, @iboatedhere, @bellakitse, @reyesstrand and @morganaspendragonss - thank you all!

Total Number Of Completed Works: 57

Total Word Count: 345,631

Fandoms I’ve Written In: 911: Lone Star (plus one 911 crossover, I guess)

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? More. My goal was 300k, but I didn’t really expect to reach it, let alone surpass it. And yet there are still so many stories I had planned that I never got to. 

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year? I feel like I’ve been saying this all year because it was the first thing I posted in 2021, but I am still really, really pleased with some of the writing in it. I actually think would've loved you for a lifetime is one of the best things I have ever written, not even just this year. But storywise, probably I am not what you planned (aka Dr. Carlos).

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? I think the one I posted yesterday (I’m in this for life) is probably the riskiest or at least most creative/most unusual piece I’ve done storywise, but there ain't a language for the things I feel was the riskiest in terms of process because I wrote it without any kind of outline (which I never do). I had an idea for the opening scene and then I let it unfold from there. It was pretty stressful, honestly.  

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year? To reach 300k again, to clear out my wip folder, and to write a coda for each episode this season again.

Most Popular Story Of The Year?  by kudos it is tender-hearted sadness pulls me through the day, by comments it is I am not what you planned, by hits it is trust that there will be light always waiting behind. (Not counting my two fics that are collections of shorter fics, those both did better than any of my stand alones, by a lot)

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: in the hope of open hands, without a doubt. My Nancy/Marjan fic that I was really proud of but that was not received well, to say the least. 

Most Fun Story To Write: Either I am not what you planned, Groundhog Day, or would've loved you for a lifetime because I love a non-linear timeline.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Well there’s an anonymous one that is anonymous for exactly that reason, but really I think they’re all pretty telling to an extent. I definitely put a lot of myself into my writing. 

Biggest Disappointment: in the hope of open hands again (I am still pretty bitter about that entire situation, if you couldn’t tell), but also anytime I don’t write about TK and/or Carlos specifically, like the truth is stranger than all my dreams (a Marjan introspective piece I loved) and there ain't a language for the things I feel (which I kind of get because it was a very angsty firefam story)

Biggest Surprise: That I wrote 340k? But beyond that, probably the Dr. Reyes/Paramedic Strand enemies to lovers AU that became a series. I did not expect to write that and I certainly did not expect for it to be as popular as it was.

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year: The people in it. Anyone in this fandom who has interacted with me or my writing, whether it was leaving a comment or kudos or sending an ask, I hope you know how much I appreciate you. It was once again not the easiest year, but little interactions like those made it easier. 

No pressure tagging (you’ve probably already been tagged and I do apologize for that) a few people: @moviegeek03 @justaswampdemon @howtosingit @rafael-silva @dancer-me @strandnreyes @sunshinestrand @kiras-sunshine​ and anyone else who wants to

[galacticgraffiti]

2021 fic review!

thank you so much, my darling @cyarbika for the tag! This was so much fun to do and definitely helped me be proud of what I accomplished.

now... alright alright alright buckle in my darlings, this will be a RIDE

total number of completed works: okay so. there are a couple ways to count this. If I count each individual thing I put out (including requests and celebrations) it's something batshit insane, 79 works, which is just crazy to me. total word count: oof. this gave me the motivation i needed to make backups of all my works so i could get the wordcount, so thank you hehe. so I came out to a rough total of 302,563 words not including some WIPs I have not yet published. Almost half of those are just Veman'alor which is just... damn. looking back did you write more, less, or the expected amount of fic this year? I wrote so much more than I ever thought I would. I was not planning on writing at all, actually, and I never thought I would publish anything! It's been a journey, friends.

your own favorite story of this year? By far Veman'alor. I never planned to make that story even half as long as it is now, and I never thought I would get so invested in this little world and its characters, but I am so glad I did. did you take any writing risks this year? I don't know? I think starting to write and publish at all was what felt riskiest to me. I am so glad to have found this, because I am having tons of fun. And it's nice to read that I make people happy, and to feel like I'm giving something back to the community. do you have any fanfic goals for the new year? I don't like setting goals for writing, really, at least not quite so long-term. It puts pressure on myself and I write because I want to, and I need to, and I find great fun and pleasure in it. My only real goal might be to get a bit better at answering requests faster (I'm so sorry to everyone who is still waiting for their request from a month ago to be answered) most popular story of the year? If we're talking multichapter only, it's Veman'alor. But the fic I posted with the most notes is a Boba Oneshot called Talk To Me. story most under-appreciated? I wrote a very yearn-y quick oneshot about growing old with Leia. I almost never write for anyone outside of the TCW/Mandalorian era, but that story is so dear to my heart and barely got any attention. most fun story to write? On the one side, I want to say Veman'alor because I get to dive into all the characters, but that can also be insanely frustrating. So I'm gonna go with Dope & Smoke, a Jango request I got and that was just sooo much fun to write, just flowed out of me. most unintentionally telling story? Probably my most recent Fennec fic. That was very personal to me for many reasons. biggest disappointment? I think aside from seing many creators leave because of anon hate - which, I may add, is never justified - it is that interaction is way down, which is very frustrating. When you pour your heart and soul into something and it barely gets any attention, it gets discouraging very fast. I'd love to write more WLW but those fics, compared to my others, barely get any attention. Also oneshots tend to do much better on here than multichapter works, so as much as I love Veman'alor and Mirde Be Mand'alor, and as much as the longtime readers are dedicated to it, it's just... yeah. Just always a bit disappointing when I post a new chapter and it barely gets interaction compared to my quick oneshots.

biggest surprise? The growth my blog has experienced within such a short span of time, and the kindness with which other creators have treated me and included me. I was so afraid, felt a bit like the new kid at school standing there with their lunch tray not knowing where to sit, but the responses to my fics have been so overwhelmingly kind and sweet and positive. my favorite part of fandom this year? Definitely meeting other creators and getting to talk about everything from writing to important themes like whitewashing, diversity, trying to be inclusive... And my most favourite part only just started, so I don't know if it can really be counted toward 2021 but I'll mention it still because it makes me so happy - and, of course, it's my collab with my most favourite artist, my cherished love @maygalodon. I'm having so much fun coming up with plot and dialogue and little snippets together with them and then weaving it all into a story, it's just wonderful.

gently tagging @book-of-baba-fett @fivesarctrooper @ahoeformando @maybege and @rowansparrow ♡

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

The Part-Time Puppeteer - Chapter 08

<= Chapter 7

Summary : Lukas gets a chance against one of the biggest actors ever known.

Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828971/chapters/81316792

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The duel you had all been awaiting for... THERE IT IS. I hope you'll like it !

Thank you, Tumblr, for making this chapter so fucking hard to post, I appreciate it, really. /s

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Chapter 8 - “So you came back... As I had planned.”

The role of the Moonjumper was both an interesting and a boring one- at least, this is what Lukas had thought to himself while he had been learning his lines. It wasn’t that this character was a bad one, no, far from it. But he was… Predictable, unoriginal in some ways even. The young man hadn’t noticed it really, while simply reading the text in his mind. But once he had said the lines out loud… This is when it started to get apparent. Of course, he had told himself he was merely a law student, so what could he know about fiction and how to interpret it? He was no specialist in that field. And yet, this is the impression the role gave to him. Not a bad one, but not a perfect one.

In short, there was room for improvement. However, this hadn’t been on his mind, or not for too long. After all, he had other preoccupations other than thinking about that. The first one had been to learn these lines, and the second and most important one… Was to teach that bastard of an actor that sometimes life could get back at you for your attitude.

And apparently, now was the moment for it.

With a wave of confidence caused by his anger towards the diva, Lukas opened his mouth and put a start to what seemed to be a duel between the two of them.

-“So you came back,” he murmured with a little smile, moving the puppet upwards, as if it were looming over Hat Kid or, in this case, MJ: “As I had planned.”

-“You took something from me,” retorted MJ, with a determined intonation that was completely different from his arrogant, usual self. This man was no doubt a very skilled actor. Even if he looked nothing like a little girl… He still managed to give the same vibes, by his movements, his expression and his voice. It was truly impressing, though the student couldn’t care much at the moment.

He needed to focus, to get himself in character… In this very instant, the young man was a mysterious and powerful entity who had been imprisoned in his own dimension for centuries. He was a monster that would lure his victims in, never for them to be seen again. What did he do with them? The script wasn’t clear about that, though there were traces that hinted he would turn them into puppets.

Quite a scary thing for a kids’ show.

The student was struggling to move the puppet with precision, due to how it was made. It was the same kind of puppet who had strings linking it to a wooden cross. It was practical in a way where he didn’t have to touch the puppet directly to move it… But on the other hand, it meant that he couldn’t do precise or specific gestures with it. This meant he would need to put extra effort on his acting, so that it would compensate the lack of gesture he could do.

Well, he hoped this wouldn’t be too noticeable… Trying his best to make the puppet raise its hand, he continued playing:

-“Oh, you mean this, perhaps?” Having no props on the scene with him made it less immersive, but thankfully, the rest of the dialogue was enough for everyone to understand what the Moonjumper was talking about: “This hourglass of yours… A powerful artifact, yes?”

Lukas’ tone was calm, reserved, but it wouldn’t last- later in the scene, the Moonjumper would become more agitated. Actually, the directives on it didn’t say he was going to get mad, per se. Still, when he read those lines, he was… Disappointed in the entity’s attitude. For a bad guy, the latter was way too mild, too nice, and… Not threatening enough.

Not frightening enough.

-“That is none of your business,” the diva replied, his tone more aggressive. His stance had tensed, giving away how important this object was for the main character, and how crucial it was to get it back.

-“Oh, is that so?” Lukas made the puppet tilt its head to the side, approaching MJ dangerously. His tone had turned icy, bitter, as if what the main character had said weren’t such a good idea: “I believe it is quite my business, on the contrary, young child,” his murmur had lowered in volume as he made another step forward.

-“It’s mine!” MJ’s voice had talked back, his expression showing a mix of anger, despair, and persistence.

-“Is it? Is it, really?” he snarled in response, starting to raise his tone a little- this was the time to put his improvisation on the table. At this point, it was make or break: “Maybe you’re lying. Perhaps you stole it. Who is there to say? Do you even know how much I need it?”

The diva in front of him seemed taken aback by him not respecting the stage direction completely. It didn’t last long, and soon enough, the hint of a smirk could be seen on the other’s face, even if just for a second. It quickly disappeared, as the actor didn’t want to break character. But Lukas saw it, and it simply enraged him.

At least, his fury in the next moments was not going to be faked.

-“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” the ‘little girl’ screamed at him, getting closer to confront him: “This isn’t a toy, this isn’t… Some weird stuff that you can use for yourself! It’s… It belongs to me, to… To my people!”

Okay, this was it, this was the most embarrassing moment of this whole scene. God, he wanted to cringe so hard just thinking about what he was going to do, but… This exact thing was the reason he got the role to begin with. So, realistically, it meant… That it was maybe his secret weapon.

Shit, that sounded so fucking stupid.

The student let out a snort, one that started to get louder and louder as seconds passed. This wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a cruel giggle, but… This scene was the finale, was something people had to remember after seeing that episode. It had to be… Intense! Full of passion, as Grooves would say, he supposed. And so… His mind conjured a picture he would never, ever forget.

MJ falling down the day before. MJ getting angry, humiliated before the entire crew, losing his job against a nobody, a simple stagehand who had been hired the same day. And, just like that… Lukas burst out laughing, his hysterical giggles echoing all around, sending shivers to the spectators as it continued. For years, the young man had been shamed for his way of laughing. His entire childhood had been spent hiding that part of him from the others, so he wouldn’t be judged and mocked for something he couldn’t even control. And here, for the first time of his entire life…

Lukas was laughing without being (too) scared of the way people would react in consequence. This was… Absolutely freeing, to feel like he could be himself, just a few instants…!

-“You think I see this as a toy? Don’t be silly, young child… This,” he spoke again, his voice dark, lifting the doll’s hand again: “… Is my salvation, the key to my esca-”

-“Okay, cut, that’s enough,” Lukas was interrupted by a familiar voice, the investor’s. His face paled up- wait, they hadn’t finished the scene, why would that man stop them? Did… Did he do wrong? He gulped down, starting to regret taking initiatives. What was he thinking? If he had a script, it was to respect it! Why did he choose the riskiest solution?! Couldn’t he just stick to the plan?!

He turned to the investor, a look of fear and confusion written all over his face. At his sides, MJ’s acting mask fell, only to be replaced by a smug expression, as he approached the student. Leaning towards him, so that only he could hear, the actor whispered:

-“You didn’t even respect your text,” the diva mocked him: “What, you thought it was a good idea to improvise? Or were you just too stupid to read the stage directions?”

Lukas glared at him, gritting his teeth- but his arch nemesis was right. He had taken initiatives and, in hindsight, this really hadn’t been the opportunity for it. This was an exam, a duel, in which they both had to prove who was a better actor. When would a good actor question a director’s orders?

The young man’s cheeks blushed both in anger and embarrassment. His eyes fell on the Conductor and DJ Grooves- both looked disappointed and perhaps a little angry. They were most likely thinking that he had just wasted a golden opportunity- he didn’t think he had acted badly, he was pretty sure his laughter had been a great addition, but his wasn’t about that.

It was about respecting the directors’ wishes, which he hadn’t done.

In an instant, Lukas’ attitude went from confidence to utter embarrassment. Oh, how he wished he could just hide underground, never to be seen again. Next to him, in comparison, MJ was simply beaming. In the distance, Mike’s expression was a mix of sadness and frustration. As for the rest of the crew… Lukas just couldn’t look at them.

It was too much. His anxiety was eating him from the inside, feeding on his self doubts, on his fears, and on how much he wanted to get out of here. Please, couldn’t he hear that he was downgraded to being a stagehand again?

The wait was unbearable.

The investor had remained silent for a few seconds, staring into space. Eventually, his eyes went back up to the two actors, and he sighed, visibly conflicted. But conflicted about what? There wasn’t anything to be conflicted about! The young man clenched his fists, trying to focus on the pain of his nails scratching his palms instead. The longer it lasted, the more he could feel his emotions getting out of control. If it continued, then… Well, he could already feel some tears making their way up to his eyes.

Oh, no, no, please, no, not in public- not next to MJ, out of every-fucking-one!

His mind went silent as he saw the investor looking at him, his face serious. This was it.

-“You don’t fit the role,” he said sternly, and Lukas felt his heart sink in his chest- he knew it, he fucking knew it, he shouldn’t have tried to take risks! This wasn’t his forte, he should have stuck to rules like he always had!

-“Well, isn’t that a surprise,” a sarcastic scoff left the actor’s lips at his sides, only making the student feel even worse than he already was: “Who could have ever thought hiring a stagehand to do some professional work was a bad idea- oh, yeah. I did,” the asshole’s voice became serious, sending huge and bitter “I told you so” vibes.

God, Lukas just wanted to punch his face so bad…! And the humiliation he was feeling wasn’t helping him either- fuck, fuck, he could feel the urge to cry getting harder and harder to suppress.

The investor raised his hand, his expression still as serious as before:

-“I’m not finished,” he interrupted the other’s celebration before crossing his hands, lost in thoughts: “This… Is not something I had expected, I have to admit that much.”

-“Wha-” MJ seemed confused and tilted his head to the side, frowning: “What do you mean?” he pressed the older man, visibly not liking where this was going. Lukas was just as confused as him, not really understanding where the other was getting at. And, to be fair, so was everyone else in the room, especially the two directors, who exchanged a perplexed look.

What the hell was going on?

It took approximately thirty, long seconds for the investor to find his words, and he crossed his arms, looking back at the student.

-“You don’t fit the role, because this character doesn’t fit you.”

There was a short silence in the room, before MJ broke it, an insincere smile taking place onto his lips:

-“I’m sorry,” he snorted sarcastically: “This role doesn’t fit him because he doesn’t know how to act,” the jerk enunciated, as if it were obvious- and it was. Still, the other shook his head and tapped the script resting on his legs with the back of his fingers.

-“No, he does. But his acting doesn’t fit a character like this,” he explained better, and he opened the script to continue: “See, I only got to read the script before, today is the first time I’m seeing it actually being rehearsed. And it made me notice that… This character isn’t good. In fact, he’s bad.”

This last statement cast a chill in the room, making people frown in confusion and incomprehension. However, for the two directors, it was more than that. It was more pronounced, more… Visible.

-“Wh- What d’you mean?” the Conductor exclaimed, holding his own copy of the script and flipping the pages frantically. DJ Grooves was more reserved, but he was clearly furrowing his brow, shaking his head:

-“But… But we sent you the script a few times, and you validated this version,” he retorted: “I don’t understand why suddenly this character is bad to you.”

The investor pointed at the two young men on the scene, his head turning back to look at the directors:

-“It’s one thing to read the script, and it’s another to experience it. The Moonjumper is bland, he doesn’t have any personality, he looks like any other bad guy, he feels… Unoriginal. I’m honestly feeling like I was watching something made by teenagers.”

It was clear that this last sentence deeply offended the two men, and Grooves had to grab the Conductor’s arm, so that the latter could keep his mouth shut. But, oh, it was obvious they wanted to talk back. Still, it was best to be polite with the person funding your entire project.

-“Which is why you need a good actor,” MJ tried to interject, placing his hand over his heart as he tried to persuade the benefactor to choose him instead. But he was soon cut short by the man’s voice again, disagreeing with him:

-“No, MJ, you don’t understand. This character is badly written, and this puppet,” he nodded to the object still in Lukas’ hands: “… Is too scary for kids. On one hand, you have this character without any personality, and on the other, you have this puppet which design has to change.”

At the mention of the puppet, a familiar person moved across the crowd to join the conversation. Without much surprise, it was Mike, whose expression showed concern and confusion:

-“W-wait,” he called out to the investor, not knowing what to do with his own hands: “I don’t… I was asked to make a scary puppet, I-”

-“And you did way too much. Furthermore… Our friend here had some trouble moving the puppet around,” he pointed to the student, whose face paled up as everyone’s eyes glanced at him. Oh, shit, no, he didn’t want to be implicated in this…!

-“This puppet wasn’t made with the idea of interacting with props. It can’t hold things and even if it could, it seems complicated to make it express emotions or body language. In short, I want the puppet to be redesigned entirely.”

Mike’s face paled at the investor’s decision, and Lukas couldn’t blame him. It was months of work thrown away like it was nothing. He was about to say something against it, but MJ beat him to it, defending his brother for the student’s greatest surprise:

-“And you had to wait until it was finished to say something about it?” the actor’s tone was getting more aggressive as he gestured at his brother: “He spent nights working on that! And you decide to just… Scrap it away?!”

Lukas… Really hadn’t expected the other to care, especially with how the latter had thrown the puppet to the floor the day before. Then again, they were twins, and Mike did seem to care about his brother… So maybe the feeling was mutual, just… Unbalanced, perhaps?

-“I know, and I take full responsibility for that,” retorted the man with determination: “The other reason I want a redesign is that I want this character to change. I want another one instead, one that is original, and not… The typical cliché of a bad guy.”

Before MJ was able to talk back, the Conductor interjected, his expression really showing he wasn’t liking anything that was being said at the moment.

-“Are you serious?!” he finally snapped, his Scottish accent more audible than ever: “Do you expect us to rewrite the entire thing?! After all the time it took us?!”

Grooves tried to calm the Conductor down, but it was in vain. All he could do was to push him lightly to the side, before the other reacted violently by shoving him back, not wanting to be touched, especially by him. Still, that got the message across, and DJ Grooves got the opportunity to talk:

-“It’s… Not possible to rewrite anything, the deadlines are too short for our budget and-”

-“In that case, if this is the way to avoid a catastrophic show, then I’ll fund this project for a little longer. But I do not want to see my money being wasted on some poorly written story,” he sighed, obviously aware of how much his words had irritated the entire crew, who was now glaring daggers at him: “I know I am responsible for saying that too late, which is why I will give you more time and money to adjust tactics. But this,” he gestured to the puppet and the script: “… Has to change. I’m not asking for a complete rework of the script, but I want us to talk about the modifications we need to implement.”

After the announcement regarding the deadlines being postponed, the crew did lose some animosity, though it was still very much there, especially for the two directors who had to rewrite a good chunk of what they thought was a final version. Mike, in comparison, looked much more disappointed and sad than anything else, which made Lukas feel bad for him. He wanted to comfort his friend, trying to encourage him- but before he even could, MJ’s voice rose again in the room, catching everyone’s attention once more:

-“And what about the original problem, hm?” he urged the benefactor: “If there’s no Moonjumper anymore, then… What about the new character?” He then gestured at Lukas as if he were showing something disgusting- and yeah, that was pretty insulting: “You’re not… Going to choose an inexperienced stagehand for a major role, are you? You need someone who knows how to act, not… Not someone who can’t even respect the stage directions!”

The student gritted his teeth again- but he couldn’t deny the last point, as it was true. Then again, that didn’t mean he couldn’t defend himself:

-“At least, I respect other people,” he mumbled, loud enough for the diva to hear. Unsurprisingly, the latter turned to him, his eyes wide and his expression furious:

-“Excuse me?!” he retorted, outraged: “I know what acting is, and it’s following the script!”

-“Oh sure, that’s clearlymore important than being a decent human being!” the young man rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. This seemed to be what made the actor snap. The latter rushed towards him, his fist raised, prepared to hit- but thankfully, Mike knew his brother enough to anticipate it, and he dashed to grab his twin by the waist, stopping him.

-“MJ, cut it out!” yelled the puppet maker, and Lukas couldn’t help but be taken aback, not used to seeing Mike so… Angry. And yet, it was barely enough to keep MJ from trying to punch the student- he was trying to break out of his brother’s hold. Lukas couldn’t help but step back, in case the actor did manage to shove his twin aside. But it didn’t happen. Instead, the diva slowly lowered his fist, glaring at his rival with pure hatred in his eyes.

-“Will you pleasefucking stop?!” the benefactor’s loud voice called out to the group. When they all turned their head back to him, his face showed nothing but anger and annoyance. That sent shivers down Lukas’ spine, and he tensed, facing the man again like a well-behaved child. Next to him, MJ glared at the man before rolling his eyes, soon imitating his arch nemesis. Mike, upon seeing his brother had calmed down, let go of him and made a few steps back as well.

Okay, seemed like this day was getting as agitated as the previous one… Was this going to be the case for every single day? He… Didn’t know if he could handle that.

The investor let out a long, exaggerated sigh before pinching his nose, irritation written all over his face.

-“I’m… Ugh… Okay, fine. For this new character, and my decision will be final… I want the newbie on it.”

Lukas’ heart stopped beating, his eyes widening in astonishment. Wait, wait, wh-

-“What?!” the diva’s voice soon echoed around them, his tone enraged and scandalized: “You can’t be serious, he’s just-”

-“I said that my decision was final,” the benefactor reaffirmed his choice, giving the actor a very stern look of disapproval: “And if you’re unhappy with that, then you are more than welcome to leave. If you finally decide to act like an adult, then I will give you another role. But let me tell you, MJ, you’re on thin fucking ice, right now.”

The diva shot him yet another glare, his fists clenched and trembling from how livid he was. Both of them seemed to try and assert their dominance over the other… But eventually, MJ looked away and stormed off, kicking a chair as he moved through the room. It took him only a few seconds to reach the door and slam it behind him, leaving the set after another tantrum. Mike, just like the day before, quickly followed him, most likely to comfort him or at least calm him down.

In the meantime, Lukas was just… Existing, barely realizing what had been said to him. This… This was a dream, right? He was still in the workshop, taking an impromptu nap, this couldn’t be possible in real life…! And yet, it was all very real. In the back, the Conductor and Grooves seemed to have conflicted emotions: on one hand, they were very upset by the idea of rewriting a good part of their story, but on the other hand… They wouldn’t have to worry about that asshole’s attitude anymore. Still, they seemed just confused as him as to why he had been chosen. Yeah, seemed like improvising wouldn’t have been a good idea, but… Maybe in this particular case, it helped to highlight the Moonjumper’s lack of personality.

In a way… Probably not something to do in the future from now on.

Suddenly, the student was brought back to reality as he felt a hand over his shoulder, and he jumped, not expecting the sudden contact. He looked in front of him, his eyes focusing on the person he was facing: the benefactor. The latter still wasn’t smiling, and his expression was still irritated, but it didn’t seem directed at him at least:

-“Well, congrats, I guess. You did good.”

Lukas remained silent for a moment, not knowing how to answer or what to say. Eventually, he stammered a quick “thank you”, his mind still having trouble to process what had just happened.

He had the role- holy shit, he had managed to get the role, and against MJ at that!

The man pulled away and turned to the directors, telling them things Lukas could barely hear over the cacophony his minds was making. Still, inside him… A feeling of pride and accomplishment was growing, enveloping him. A wave of excitement followed, and it was hard not to jump around in pure joy and satisfaction.

Maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all…

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=> Chapter 09

[stalkfilm]

𝗪𝗛𝗢  𝗪𝗔𝗦  𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘  𝗙𝗢𝗥  𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧?      —      𝘈  𝘚𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘔  𝟤  𝘎𝘜𝘐𝘋𝘌.

exactly  what  it  says  on  the  tin    (  or  the  title  )      —      in  this  post  i’m  going  to  be  breaking  down  the  events  of  scream  2  and  delving  into  mickey’s  role  in  each  crime.  i  made  a  similar  post  on  my  archive  and  the  general  consensus  was  that  people,  especially  those  not  as  well-versed  in  mickey’s  canon,  found  the  insight  it  provided  to  be  helpful  so  that’s  why  i’m  here  again  for  take  two.  

   with  the  exception  of  scream  3,  the  scream  movies  all  follow  the  pattern  of  two  killers  conspiring  together      —      in  the  case  of  scream  2,  it’s  debbie  loomis  and  mickey  altieri  who  team  up  to  don  the  infamous  ghostface  costume.  naturally,  two  killers  per  movie  tends  to  raise  the  question  amongst  fans:  who  was  responsible  for  each  kill?      —      unsurprisingly,  it’s  mickey  doing  a  lot  of  the  grunt  work  in  scream  2,  but  i’m  getting  ahead  of  myself;  let’s  look  at  this  one  scene  at  a  time.

   𝘮𝘢𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘯  𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘴  &  𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭  𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘴.  our  first  two  unlucky  victims;  these  two  sweethearts  meet  their  grisly  end  at  an  advance  screening  of  stab.  maureen  doesn’t  particularly  want  to  be  there  but  phil  reminds  her  that  hey,  at  least  their  tickets  were  free.  there’s  no  official  confirmation  but  it  can  be  reasonably  assumed  that  a  certain  film  student  was  the  one  who  hooked  phil  up  with  two  freebie  tickets;  especially  when  you  consider  the  fact  that  mickey  had  selected  maureen  and  phil  as  victims  well  in  advance  and  needed  to  ensure  they  would  be  in  the  exact  location  he  wanted  them  to  be  that  night.  it  can  also  be  assumed  that  both  mickey  and  deb  were  in  attendance  at  the  theatre  that  night,  as  the  footage  that  the  killer  took  of  maureen  and  phil  we  see  later  in  the  movie  was  shot  from  the  passenger  window  of  a  car.  the  most  logical  explanation?  mickey  was  recording  and  debbie  was  in  the  driver’s  seat,  likely  ready  to  act  as  a  getaway  driver.  

   now  for  the  actual  murders.  the  scoreboard  is  currently  reading  mickey  2  -  debbie  0  as  mickey  is  responsible  for  both  deaths  here.  phil  is  the  first  to  die,  the  method  of  murder    (  driving  a  knife  through  a  bathroom  stall  divider  and  into  phil’s  ear  )    pretty  much  being  enough  to  confirm  that  this  was  mickey,  simply  due  to  the  sheer  amount  of  physical  strength  the  killer  would  need.    moreover,  since  mickey  also  changes  into  phil’s  clothes  to  sneak  into  the  movie  screening,  it  just  makes  a  lot  more  sense  that  he  would  be  the  one  to  kill  him.  

   as  for  maureen,  we  know  for  a  fact  that  this  one  was  all  on  mickey.  we  see  ghostface  deceive  her  by  wearing  her  boyfriend’s  clothes,  fooling  her  into  thinking  it’s  phil  for  just  long  enough  to  be  able  to  attack.  as  an  aside,  it’s  interesting  to  note  that  this  is  one  of  the  riskiest  kills  of  the  franchise,  taking  place  in  an  extremely  crowded  cinema.  the  audience  doesn’t  know  it  yet  but  this  is  a  nice  allusion  to  mickey  being  the  culprit  as  he  is  the  only  ghostface  who  actively  wants  to  be  caught  and  go  to  trial  for  his  crimes.

   𝘤𝘪𝘤𝘪  𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳.  some  people  try  to  attribute  this  murder  to  debbie  but  as  far  as  i’m  concerned,  it’s  pretty  concrete  that  debbie  was  the  one  on  the  phone  and  mickey  was  the  one  who  attacked  and  killed  cici.  why  am  i  so  sure?  four  major  reasons.      —      a)  we  know  there  have  to  be  two  killers  involved  as  at  the  exact  moment  we  see  one  ghostface  sneak  into  the  sorority  house,  another  is  talking  on  the  phone  to  cici.  logically  it  just  makes  more  sense  that  if  both  debbie  and  mickey  were  present  at  the  sorority  house  and  hiding  in  the  bushes,  debbie  would  be  the  one  to  make  the  call  while  mickey,  who  is  physically  stronger  and  is  more  likely  to  know  the  layout  of  the  house,  goes  inside.  b)  the  way  in  which  cici  was  lifted  into  the  air  and  thrown  off  of  the  balcony  would  requite  a  level  of  physical  strength  that  i  just  can’t  see  debbie  as  having.  c)  ghostface  is  significantly  taller  than  cici  -  far  more  in  line  with  the  height  of  mickey  than  debbie.  c)  we  hear  the  killer  grunt  several  times  during  the  attack  and  if  you  listen,  those  grunts  are  100%  male.  

   similarly,  i  believe  the  same  method  was  adopted  for  the  subsequent  attack  on  sidney;  debbie  likely  made  the  phone  call  while  mickey  was  the  one  to  physically  attack.  while  we  see  mickey  leave  the  house  with  everyone  else  shortly  before  the  call,  i  think  the  odds  of  him  retrieving  his  costume  from  a  hidden  location  and  doubling  back  are  far  more  likely  than  debbie  making  the  call  from  the  front  porch.  af  course,  mickey  could  be  the  one  of  the  phone  in  this  instance  but  i  think  youtuber  zack  cherry  made  a  compelling  argument  for  debbie  being  responsible  for  every  phone  call  as  the  one  in  control.

   𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘺  𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴.  this  is  the  only  death  that  mickey  played  no  part  in.    it’s  confirmed  in  canon  that  mrs  loomis  killed  randy  in  a  fit  of  rage  after  he  began  badmouthing  billy.    she  was  responsible  for  both  the  call  and  the  kill,  with  mickey  not  being  present.

   𝘵𝘩𝘦  𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴  𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘭  &  𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺  𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴.  don’t  think  that  just  because  mickey  wasn’t  involved  in  randy’s  murder  he  wasn’t  keeping  busy.  There’s  a  lot  of  uncertainty  amongst  viewers  regarding  the  dress  rehearsal  attack  and  whether  it  really  happened  or  if  it  was  simply  a  hallucination  sidney  was  having.  personally,  i  consider  the  fact  we  actually  see  ghostface  leaving  the  stage  to  be  a  decent  indicator  that  it  did  really  happen,  especially  as  soon  after  we  learn  that  mickey  was  supposed  to  be  on  duty  next  to  watch  sidney  but  had  switched  shifts  with  derek  because  he  ‘had  to  edit’.  once  again,  this  brazen  display  of  recklessness  (  attacking  sidney  on  stage  )  serves  as  a  hint  that  the  killer  isn’t  worried  about  the  prospect  of  being  caught.  after  this  attack  it’s  still  not  time  for  a  break,  mickey  makes  his  way  over  to  the  library  where  he  later  sends  sidney  threatening  messages  over  the  computer.  

   𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘳  𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘸𝘴  &  𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘳  𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴.  we  know  from  canon  that  debbie  was  the  ghostface  terrorising  gale  and  dewey  on  campus  while  mickey  was  the  one  who  went  in  pursuit  of  sidney.  he  attacked  both  officers,  slashing  the  throat  of  officer  andrews  and  hitting  officer  richards  with  the  police  car.      ultimately  it  was  a  metal  pipe  being  driven  through  his  skull  that  killed  richards,  but  this  was  as  a  direct  result  of  mickey’s  driving  .

𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦  𝘮𝘤𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘭.  this  death  follows  immediately  on  from  the  last  two,  with  mickey  breaking  out  some  sick  stealth  moves  to  catch  hallie  off  guard  and  stab  her  four  times.    this  is  the  final  murder  before  the  big  reveal  .

𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘬  𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘥𝘮𝘢𝘯.  considering  this  one  takes  place  after  mickey’s  identity  is  revealed,  there’s  really    no  need  for  discussion  on  who  was  responsible  here.    but  shooting  his  best  friend  in  the  chest?  brutal.

as  you  can  see,  despite  technically  being  debbie’s  accomplice,  mickey  did  the  majority  of  the  dirty  work.  ah  well,  at  least  he  gets  to  take  a  dirt  nap  now.

[lunavadash-creates]

Finally there is someone who understands my love for Saint oniisan! I am not especially religious, but I can totally say I became a huge fan of Jesus after seeing it! He is hilarious and has a funny voice! I love the way he says “Budda” after Budda suggests making food out of rocks. And the scene in the sauna is definitely my favorite. Idea of Jesus being the son of the yakuza's boss – I am buying it! I love such creative productions!

Your idea for Mira and Connor story seems more and more interesting. To be honest, it’s even better than plotline for Amara and Altair and Olivia and Haytham (although you make me question all my prejudices towards him and in the end I can say that I “like him” rather than “tolerate him”, your drabble with drunken Olivia was asdfghjkllove). Maybe next time you post some 5 words sentences or whatever it was, I’ll request something for them. I am definitely not a history lover, but I admire having such a deliberate background. You really have potential for being a professional writer. I mean, don’t get me wrong, but those are only fanfictions. People writing such things focus on the story itself, on characters, dynamics between them. I feel that you also work a lot on research for background to be the most accurate as it could be. Like, wow! And you actually really prepare for writing anything. The drabble with the reader wanting a tattoo and reaction of ac character taking into consideration how tattoos were perceived in the appropriate timeline? I had no idea that people were tattooed in ancient times! Or maybe it’s just my historical ignorance and sleeping tendencies in history classes. .

But summing up.. I suddenly feel sorry for Connor. Feeling betrayed, especially by those who are considered as closed ones or allies must be really awful. Let me hug him.

What’s your natural hair color and what is your color rn? Do you like it dyed? Would you change anything else about it?

I wouldn’t say that grey eyelash is unique. Not many people know about it, it’s almost invisible. It’s not like you are looking at someone’s eyelashes and their color. Besides, I usually wear make up, so..

I was asking about piercing, because well. I would love to have piercings. Like.. I really do. Maybe not too extreme (although nipple piercing looks good to me) – just ears and maybe nose. That’s all. The problem is I am afraid of needles. And yes, I have a tattoo. And yes, I am going to get the second one. And yes, tattoos are made with needles. But still, this doesn’t change the fact I am afraid of needles. And I just need a little encouragement. I talked with a friend who made helix piercing last year, but it disturbed her sleep. Earring hooked on her pillow and in the end her ear became swollen and hurt, so she took it out. So I need more opinions. Positive ones I guess.

But right now you make me think about the riskiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.. Getting a tattoo wasn’t even close to a risky thing. What about you? Any confessions?

🔪

tbh I'm not religious at all. But that anime was brilliant :D I also love how Jesus didn't bring gifts for all Japanese gods and then saw them on rice grains and was so sorry. It was adorable.

I'm glad you like my OC but tbh i don't remember writing about drunk Olivia 😂 but those 3 are my favourite babies. They are all different but just... they seem right for me. Ad I know a lot of people doesn't like Haytham and it's valid. I find him interesting so i decided to make a story about him, to show his loving and caring side. Because after all games, books, tv series and everything is made to be enjoyed, not to make some wars about who's right and wrong. I just enjoy things I like and that's it! Thank you for your words about being a professional writer. Tbh when i make stories I always check the background, history and all of those little details because I like being accurate. I like when things I write have a meaning, maybe some hidden sense. It makes me happy to find something that connects the dots, you know? And not knowing historical details like tattoos isn't ignorance. You don't need to study or learn about things you're not interested in. About that tattoo hc - I know it's nice to read about characters that are all "I love ink on your body" but I really want to be historically accurate. Because as much as we want our fave characters to be perfect, they aren't and I guess it's nice to explore their flaws.

I was reading Ac 1 book today and I finished that 2nd part and I noticed Altair was crying while killing Al Mualim. Tbh it made me think today about the vulnerability of people. Weird, right? Especially that Altair said that he knew Al Mualim's love was fake and fragile, that he was using Altair. And yet Altair treated him as a father and cried for him. I'm in such a deep Altair's hole, I really love that man.

Piercing. Knifey. It is your body and your life so if you want to have piercing? GO GET IT. Like really. If you won't do it you may grow to regret it. And if you decide that piercing doesn't spark a joy? Just take it off and let your skin heal. But really, nose piercing looks good. I love those little, silver balls on the side of the nose. Idk if you also like those but still. GO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. GET THE PIERCING. BE HAPPY. Yes, you need to be careful about it in the beginning. There is a small risk of not healing properly but for that, you have all the meds to use. Keep that place clean and you should be 100% fine. So honestly Knifey, my amazing, smart, hard-working and talented friend, those are your worst of encouragement. GO GET THE PIERCING YOU WANT. And don't look back.

My confessions? Tbh I don't think I have any. I don't really do risky stuff, I don't have any tattoos and I don't plan on having any (I don't really like having stuff on my skin. Like I used to draw on my skin o get used to the thought of having a tattoo but it bored me after some time so I'm sure I don't want to have a tattoo but I love them on other people). I also stopped dying my hair for now to see my natural colour. Hmm what else... I think that's all. Not much is happening in my life rn. I just vibe and play genshin (its an amazing game and its FREE if you want to play :D)

[thiccbuckybarnesfic]

2020 Fic Year in Review

I got tagged by @greyhavensking , thanks for the tag bb!! 💖

Total Number of Completed Stories

8! That's exciting

Total Number of Words

153,203 according to AO3! I am kind of baffled I have written so much. There's even more written in my various wips.

Fandoms Written In

All MCU/Captain America/Avengers

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Definitely more than I expected. What I really didn't expect was to actually start posting. I've been writing fic on and off for various fandoms for over ten years, but whatever I posted I ended up taking down. So this has been a fun and unexpected year.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Oh jeez!! Honestly probably my reverse age fic Somewhere, Under Your Skin. This dynamic just really speaks to me, I love it. I have so much planned for this to turn into a series eventually I just haven't gotten into it yet. But I love older disaster, angsty Bucky and younger, top Steve who takes no shit lmao I love them 😩💖

Did you take any writing risks this Year?

I'm not sure! I feel like it's all been a risk for me. Starting right off the bat with explicit fics, dabbling in different tropes, and actually posting has all been risky. Maybe the absolute daddy kink filth that is i've been dreaming of a face like yours was my riskiest?

Do you have any fanfic or profile goals for the new year?

I want to make significant progress on my series' and finish at least half of the wips I have rotting in my drive. I've slowed down a lot since the summer many because of grad school and thesis writing but I have so many projects I want to share! I'd also like to connect with more writers and other people in fandom. Hopefully I can make more friendssss 😩

Most popular story of the year.

It's Been a Long Season Through for hits, bookmarks, and kudos ❤️❤️❤️ this blew up way more than I thought it would and it makes my heart so, so warm that people like my Stardew Valley AU so much because it's such a sweet and cozy game.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion.

Oh for sure Be Still My Foolish Heart (Don't Ruin This On Me). Which I think is fair because it has both an underage tag since it's a high school fic and it had explicit violence, homophobia, and bullying. But I really love this fic, and I hope I did it justice. Always makes me so happy when I get a comment or a kudo for it because it's very dear to my heart.

Most fun story to write.

Ohhhhh, they're all fun to write! Honestly some of my favorite fics aren't even posted yet. Some of the wips I've worked on this year have been really fun. So I am just going to be difficult and say all of them.

Most unintentionally telling story.

Basically all of them. My fics not only contains kinks I have irl but my characterizations (often disaster Bucky) reflect how I feel about myself. I am a mess, I am incredibly insecure, and I have a very hard time accepting when I deserve something. So I definitely put a lot of myself and my feelings in the way I write.

Biggest disappointment.

Unfortunately my biggest disappointment is that I didn't finish my Christmas fic on time. It's been an insane week and I got so close to finishing but it just didn't happen. So idk if I want to finish it and post it late or what I want to do. I'm really bummed about it.

Biggest surprise

Oh that anyone even enjoys what I write!!! I really wasn't going to post anything I write, so that first fic blowing up and getting feedback and being well received was huge for me! I couldn't believe it. So thank you for whoever follows me and reads my work because I really wasn't expecting this much love and support!😭💖

----

So I'm very out of the loop and am doing this rather late so if anyone hasn't done this yet and would like to, I tag you!

[fantasyoverreality98]

In An Instant

Pairing(s): Bryce x F!MC, mentions of Ethan x MC (Bess Daniels)

Summary: Bess recounts the way she felt after the Mrs. Martinez trial, and all the changes that came with it.

Author’s Note: This was heavily inspired by “I Don’t Know Anything” from the show Little Voice. I got excited and wanted to just post something since it’s been a week since I’ve shared any writing. Apologies for any potential typos! Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read, like, reblog, comment, I appreciate you all beyond words!

Word Count: 1,202

Tags: @anotherbeingsworld @aylamreads

-------------

In an instant, Bess Daniels’ life had changed.

Her entire career was in jeopardy. The feelings for her mentor were impossible to ignore. A friend betrayed her. And she realized, without a doubt, that she didn’t know anything.

Fast forward several months, and she still struggled to come to terms with everything that had occurred in her intern year.

“Rookie.” Ethan Ramsey’s voice haunted her at night, her name whispered against her shoulder as they said goodbye one last time before he left for the Amazon.

Then, another face. A dazzling smile, magical hands, assurances whenever she found herself in doubt. Somehow, even though she had no clue where life was going, she knew that it would all be okay.

“You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met,” Bryce Lahela had said to her one night.

They’d had one too many drinks, everyone else passed out in the apartment, when he looked over at her and she somehow knew. This was the person she had been waiting her entire life for.

He’d leaned in closer, the golden flecks in his eyes visible when their faces were inches apart. Bess found it hard to breathe, tempted to pinch herself, to wake from this dream.

“I’m not so sure about that,” she whispered, studying Bryce’s face.

Just days earlier, Ethan had left, leaving her more alone than ever.

“Well, I am.”

In an instant, they were drawn closer to each other.

Bess took a shaky breath, aware of the way her breath must smell like alcohol. She’d known that Bryce was attracted to her, he never tried to hide it. But this changed everything.

She made the first move, closing the space between their lips with a nervous squeak that left her face burning with embarrassment. Bryce just laughed, cupping her face in his hands as he kissed her again. And again.

Never in her life had she been kissed like this. To her surprise, Bryce was gentle, mumbling how much he admired her between the stolen kisses. She’d almost given in completely right there, consequences be damned.

Until Jackie had stirred from her drunken slumber, walked out into the living room, and yelled at them to get a room. With a smile, Bess had pulled back, biting her lip to stop from laughing.

“You should probably get some sleep. We do have work tomorrow.” The idea of getting intimate with someone else so soon after Ethan wasn’t right. She’d tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach when waiting for Bryce’s answer, afraid that this would be the end of…whatever this had been.

Instead, Bryce had grinned, nodding as he sat back against the couch cushions. “Is it okay if I crash here for the night?”

“Just don’t eat my food!” Jackie yelled from the sink, drinking an entire glass of water in one go before she slammed it down on the counter. “If I find out that you touched my stuff, Lahela, you’re dead.”

Bryce had waved her off, laying back. “Whatever, Varma.”

For the rest of that night, Bess had stared at the ceiling in her bedroom, wondering how she would ever deal with this new revelation.

----

Lost. Bess struggled to feel like she had any idea what she was doing. After the Mrs. Martinez trial, after Landry’s betrayal, after Ethan’s flee to another continent…

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Sienna sat beside her in the hospital cafeteria

Bess watched as people went about their day, wishing more than anything she had someone to talk things out with. Although she knew the brief romance with Ethan was over, he still had more experience than the rest of them when dealing with the loss of patients. He would know what to do.

“No, no, I’m fine,” she said, poking at her salad with a fork.

A familiar voice called out to the two of them, and a smile tugged at her lips. It grew into a grin. Bess cleared her throat, forcing herself to focus on the food in front of her.

Sienna noticed her shift in mood. “Ah,” she said, laughing when Bess glared at her. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

“Where’s she going?” Bryce asked when he took Sienna’s spot. “Does she have something against me?”

Bess shook her head, glancing up at him. “You never know with that one.”

He smiled. “How are you feeling now? Still thinking a lot?”

They hadn’t addressed that night when they’d kissed. Or the second time. Bess wondered how she had missed this wonderful person before. Every moment leading up to their first kiss replayed in her head.

Bryce finding her in the supply closet their first day. Helping her to get the drug for Mrs. Martinez. Comforting her in the on-call room when it seemed like nothing would ever be okay again.

She was falling for him. Hard.

“I’ll be fine,” Bess said, meeting his eyes. This time, she meant it.

----

In an instant, she realized that she knew something.

Watching him with the other surgeons from across the bar, Bess realized that it had to happen exactly like this. Time had moved slow, the pain of getting over Ethan had tormented her, but it all led up to this moment.

Bryce gave her a curious smile as he watched her walk across the room, the sound of her heavy breathing and pounding heart roaring in her ears.

This moment could end in disaster. Everyone could laugh at her. And yet…and yet—

“Dr. Daniels!” the surgeons welcomed her to their corner, parting as she made her way over to Bryce.

Bess didn’t bother to acknowledge anyone else. This just might be one of the riskiest moves she’d ever made, risking her medical license exempted.

Brown eyes full of wonder stared at her, and Bryce opened his mouth to speak, but Bess stopped the words with a kiss. A few low whistles echoed around the room, and she smiled against his lips.

“What was that for?” Bryce asked when she pulled back, his eyes wide. “Did you have too much to drink?”

Laughing, she shook her head, remembering the night when they’d first kissed. “No. I just—” Words couldn’t help her explain how she felt.

Since the start, Bryce had always been there for her. He had been one of the best friends she’d ever had, always supportive, always fun to be around. The way he believed in her was enough to make her tear up.

“I like you,” she said, her whole body shaking as she spoke. “A lot.”

Bryce took her face in his hands, his playful smirk fading, his expression softening. “Really?”

Bess nodded. For so long, she thought she knew what she wanted. She had been too blind to see that the person she needed was right in front of her.

“Really,” she whispered, knowing the bar was probably too loud for him to hear.

Instead of answering, Bryce kissed her again.

Bess may not know anything about what was to come, but that was okay. Life had a funny way of working itself out. And right here, right now, she would risk it all to take one last leap of faith.