Text
If I’m A Pagan Of The Good Times (Darlington x Alex)
I’m 5 chapters into writing this fic and having WAY too much fun with it. Posting the first 2 chapters here and the rest is on ao3 (here!) with more to come! (Warning: smut!)
Summary: It's been a few weeks since the end of Hell Bent and the rescue of Darlington. The gang has struck an exhausting balance between dealing with the escaped demons and performing their regular Lethe duties. It's Halloween night now and time for Alex and Darlington to babysit Manuscript's annual party once again. This year, Darlington has to strike a deal with Lan Caihe - but what does he have to give in return.
Status: In Progress (being updated daily, sometimes more than once a day because I can’t stop writing lol)
*****
Chapter 1
Alex could feel tension rolling off of Darlington in waves as they approached the Manuscript house. She knew well by now that he trusted this house far less than the others - and a year ago she had seen first hand why. That Halloween night last year had taken on more significance to her as time had passed.
At the time, it had been fairly easy to shake off the way you would a friend trying to kiss you when they got too drunk at a party. Harmless, meaningless. But a year later, after they’d been though so much - Alex sometimes couldn’t tear her mind away from the image of Darlington on his knees before her, hands on her thighs with her skirt pushed up in front of a roomful of people.
I will serve you 'til the end of days.
It had been echoing in her head for weeks since they brought Darlington back from hell. They hadn’t talked about it at all since he had told her - that he was bound to her, to serve her. She had barely let herself think about it, which was surprisingly easy considering they’d been chasing escaped demons around New Haven while also having to perform their regular Lethe duties and pretend like nothing was wrong.
Tonight was one of those nights: their observation of the annual Manuscript Halloween party - the party that would power their rituals for an entire year to come. And Alex was a little nervous after what had happened to Darlington here last year but she figured they wouldn’t try that shit twice.
Darlington though - he didn’t seem as sure. They were just a few blocks from the party, walking in silence in their costumes. Alex dressed as Queen Mab again and Darlington had apparently developed a sense of humor upon his return from hell because he wore black jeans, black boots, a black sweater, and some cheap red horns on his head. A modern devil.
“Ok, what’s up? You’re even more sullen than normal tonight,” she finally asked him.
He sighed and knocked his devil horns askew while trying to run his fingers through his hair. He readjusted them on their plastic headband before speaking. “There’s something I didn’t tell you about tonight.”
Alex’s stomach dropped instantly but she did her best to play nonchalant. “Come on this should be the easy one - we get in, we observe, we get out. Easy, right?” Her voice may have betrayed her a bit on that last word, rising just a little too high in her register.
Darlington stopped walking and turned to face her. She met his eyes, their regular brown right now as opposed to their demonic golden she sometimes got to see. Eye contact with him had been difficult recently - she’d been becoming increasingly…distracted by him and it was getting difficult to pretend even to herself that she didn’t want more from Darlington than his excellent mentorship.
“Do you remember Lan Caihe from the party last year?” he asked.
“Yeah, the goddess leader of the group, right? Some Chinese myth, 8 forms or something like that?”
He smiled just the smallest bit, “Yeah, I mean essentially yes. Anyway, remember what I told you about her? Lan Caihe is not deceived by glamor - she sees all things.”
“Right…” she was trying to follow but wasn’t keeping up with this.
“Lan Caihe will know I’m a demon now. She’ll see right through to it. And through to you, Wheelwalker.”
A tiny thrill went through Alex at the name but she pushed it off. “What do we do about that?”
“Well…” he hesitated, looking away from her. It was then that Alex started to actually worry - oh this was bad. “I made a deal with Lan Caihe…so that she wouldn’t reveal to anyone the whole ya know ‘went to hell and now I’m a demon thing.’ I said I would partake in whatever…refreshments were served.”
Alex’s stomach went cold, “You can’t do that. Last year-“
“We can’t let anyone find out about what we did,” he cut her off before she could elaborate. “It’d be the end of Lethe, the end of us at Yale. It’s the only way. It’s done. I’ve come clean to Lan Caihe and now I have to finish the deal.” He tried to seem a little more lighthearted about it, “Maybe they’ll go easy on me. A little hallucinogenic or something.”
They both knew Manuscript wouldn’t go easy on him. Not after the trouble he gave them last year after the party, and the position he was in now. For the members of Manuscript, this party was about restoring their magic stores but also about entertainment.
Alex didn’t know what to say.
“Come on,” Darlington started walking toward the party again. Alex followed a step behind, her heart beating in her chest. She thought again of Darlington on his knees before her, but also at his shame the next day when the Merity had worn off. He’d been through so much already this past year, she couldn’t let him do this to himself.
Alex kept her mouth shut, but she knew exactly what she had to do.
—————————————
Chapter 2
Upon arrival, the party looked much the same as it had last year. Drunken students in various states of dress danced and drank and let themselves revel in the freedom of a holiday all about disguise and deception.
Darlington nodded to Kate at the door and, as he did last year, adamantly declined the hand stamp she offered. He took Alex’s hand and pulled her through the front door - unwilling to let her out of his site for a moment.
His nerves were shot tonight - he was on edge and feeling protective. That probably would have been the case anyway after what happened last year, but now with his demon half and his um…commitment to Alex, he was on high alert. He pushed Alex ahead of him but kept a hold on her hand, doing his best to ignore the line where her black dress ended and her white thighs began.
They took a look around the first floor, not seeing anything suspicious, and made their way to the door that would take them below to the heart of Manuscript. His chest started to feel tight as they neared the door. Darlington, for once, had no idea what to expect. What they would have him take. He almost wished he didn’t have to bring Alex with him tonight so he could avoid a repeat of last year. Furthermore, the Merity they gave him last year had brought him to his knees, literally, as a human. He was more than human now, more dangerous, and was worried about his loss of control. His only consolation was the thought of Alex with her leash of blue hellfire around his neck - she’d controlled him before and he hoped she could do it again if the need arose.
He shook off thoughts of Alex with her leash and him on his knees - the party atmosphere must have been getting to him.
They began the descent and now that they were out of the crowd, Darlington let go of her hand. They past other floors as they did last year - something like the French Riviera, another a dark wet city street with a churning raging party, the obligatory orgy scene (“Excess,” Stern had called it last year) in a similar dimly lit but decadent cathedral as last year. One more floor down, and they had arrived.
This year’s gathering was a little more involved than he remembered from last Halloween. The room was made to look like the banquet hall of a castle, a long dark table filled with decadent food and drink stretching through the center of the room, leading up to the same two-story tall mirror from last year. Banners hung from the ceiling, elaborate tapestries hung along the stone walls. The whole room was lit by a candlelight chandelier hanging from the center of the ceiling, casting deep shadows in the farthest corners. A quartet played music from one of the corners.
There were more people this year as well, dressed mostly in fine clothes, most of them wearing masks as well. Darlington always thought the masks gave this gathering a sinister air - people tend to be less trustworthy when they think you don’t know who they are.
The attendees were already drinking and deep in their merriment, though a few looked up as Alex and Darlington walked in. As usual, some scantily dressed students milled about with purple tongues, serving the guests food and drink and sometimes a few extra favors, as evidenced by a girl in a leotard covered in peacock feathers following a man into one of several semi-visible spaces cut out into the walls. They were small and dark but you could see the outlines of bodies moving within.
Before Darlington had a chance to say anything else to Alex, any more words of warning, this gathering’s Lan Caihe approached.
“Our guests of honor have arrived,” she said. “Lovely to see you both again.” Her white eyes stood out under the golden headdress and Darlington was reminded that she would be seeing them as they truly are - demon and wheelwalker.
“Yes well, as always we are grateful for the invitation. And for your, uh, discretion.” Darlington could feel Alex hovering at his elbow, tense but standing straight, trying to appear confident and collected. Out of the corner of her eye, he saw her glancing around, assessing the room.
Caihe smiled slyly. “Yes, discretion. I’m delighted that one of you will be partaking in our hospitality this year. Or perhaps both of you?” She directed this question at Alex.
“No-“ I started to say but was quickly interrupted by Alex who stepped forward in front of me.
“Actually, I’ll be the one participating,” she said to Caihe. “I’m assuming that will adequately fulfill the terms of the deal you made with Darlington?”
“What? Stern, no.” Darlington’s stomach dropped. Stupid, stubborn girl.
But the women ignored him completely.
“Wonderful!” said Caihe. “Of course. We had planned for Darlington but this change of plans should be an unexpected…treat.”
Darlington didn’t know if Alex was picking up on it, but every word of that sentence felt incredibly loaded to him. He grabbed Alex elbow and pulled her aside, maybe more roughly than he’d meant to, while Caihe beckoned one of the acolytes over.
“Stern, what do you think you’re doing?” he snapped.
She spoke low and fast, “I can’t let you go through that again. Not after everything that’s happened over the last year. You were…you were so ashamed afterwards last time. I’ll be fine, just stay with me and don’t let me make an ass of myself.”
“Stern you can’t -“ she didn’t even let him finish, just turned back toward Caihe as the acolyte approached with a goblet on a tray.
“As I said,” said Caihe, “we made this especially for Darlington tonight but I think given that you are both beneficiaries of the deal he struck, it’s only fair that you shall be allowed to take his place, Alex.” Caihe gestured toward the outstretched tray.
Alex picked up the goblet and examined the contents inside. Darlington stood mute, having no idea how to stop what was about to happen. He felt powerless.
“What’s in it?” she asked, looking up at Caihe’s golden headdress, her white eyes. Darlington noticed more and more attendees looking their way.
“I’m afraid that was not part of the deal,” Caihe smiled.
Alex turned her head and met Darlington’s eyes. She looked steely, determined, but he knew her well enough to see the trepidation hidden in there as well. Turning back to the goblet, she seemed to make decision and lifted it to her lips, drinking deeply until all the liquid was gone. She placed the goblet back on the tray and shook her shoulders out a bit.
Caihe just grinned, “Wonderful.”
Read the rest here on ao3!
#being super original naming my fic with hozier lyrics#i think this one is pretty hot guys#just get to chapter 5#demon Darlington#alex stern#ao3#bookblr#darlington#hell bent#ninth house#darlingstern#ao3 fic
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?
“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.
He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.
She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.
Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.
She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”
“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”
“Then what is it?”
“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”
Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.
The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”
Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.
He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.
“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.
Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.
Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.
In an instant, Leia understands everything.
Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.
Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.
Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.
“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”
“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”
“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”
“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”
He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”
“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”
“Yes it is.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.
“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”
“But—“
It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.
She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?
Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.
It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.
Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“
She makes a decision then and there.
“We’re leaving.”
“What?”
“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.
“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”
“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”
He salutes and scurries off.
“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”
“And you trust this person because…”
“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”
It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.
He squints at her. “That’s not it.”
“What?”
“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”
“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.
“Well?”
Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.
“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”
He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.
“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”
What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.
“So there’s good news and bad news.”
“Bad news first,” she demands.
“They know there’s a mole.”
“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”
“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”
Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”
“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”
“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”
“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”
“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”
“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.
Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.
Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.
Unless he didn’t.
It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.
But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.
The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.
Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.
Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.
Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.
Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.
“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”
“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.
“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”
A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”
“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”
More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”
“I figured it out.”
“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.
“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”
“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.
“What?”
“Stand back. Please.”
Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.
“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.
The TIE explodes.
“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.
And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.
“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.
As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.
Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.
Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”
“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”
“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”
“Should I be offended?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”
“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”
He snorts. “Yeah, right.”
#star wars#star wars fanfiction#luke skywalker#han solo#leia organa#imperial luke skywalker#exactly when luke was taken by the empire is totally up to speculation it could honestly be anywhere from newborn to 5#as for why luke has his dad’s blue lightsaber here instead of like a red one or smth- well you see your honor I thought it would be a slay#but also when you think about it for more than 5 seconds you’re like actually yeah that’s sick and twisted of palpatine and vader actually#you’re carrying your fathers most treasured weapon#you don’t know your father once fought the rise of the very empire you stand to inherit with that blade. you don’t know who he defended#you don’t know your father brought about the end of the republic with that same weapon#he killed the younglings with it. he fought his closest companion with it#you’re carrying what was once your fathers most treasured weapon. you are your fathers most treasured weapon#just as your father is a weapon now#also I didn’t make it clear but obi-wan has his ‘strike me down and I become stronger’ moment like he still dies on purpose to cause proble#but when he saw luke he couldn’t look away. he had to see him with living eyes one last time#can u tell I had So Many Thoughts on everyone else’s perspective in this fic too#han is having a constant crisis in the background because 1) force is real 2) princess is annoying AND pretty which sucks for him#in particular and 3) pretty princess is learning to use the force and is hot while doing it. Chewie is laughing at him. life is hell#good lord did not mean to put an entire essay in the tags. i love their super special twin powers (cosmic entity that binds their souls)#edit: GUYS I FORGOT TO NAME THE FUCKING AU#AND WHEN I TRY AND FIX IT IT GLITCHES OUT ON MEEE 😭😭😭
218 notes
·
View notes
Text
[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
218 notes
·
View notes
Note
Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he probably very irritating, absolutely, but an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would shock me. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mickrin
Fifth entry of my “Dunmeshi rarepairs I will birth with my own hands if I have to” series. This one’s straight up embarrassing, like of course the shadow version of Chilchuck and Marcille would get me.
It suddenly grabbed me out of nowhere. What got me thinking about it is this exchange, first comic third panel, because like… Woah. He knows she has a thing for Kabru? Or something. And he has NO FEAR. Like it’s so forward and has 0 pretenses lmao. And then I thought… And oh no. Oh no.
"I can fix him" x "I can make her worse"
Very uptight and strict and rules-following and too self-aggrandizing tbh x will not hesitate to insult you to your face and sleazy and free spirit…. Kuro is involved in an ot3 of sorts in my head and basically they drag her into Situations of various moral standing aka scams or idk going to a club god forbid. I think she needs to relax and get taken down 1 peg maybe, and I think he needs like…….. Someone to teach him what is unhealthy lmao, also remind him to get work benefits, and if they can like get to feel safe and comfy with one another (and god just the road there would be a beautiful trainwreck to watch) they would be gossip besties worsties.
Kabru needs to be the epitome of morals but like, if it’s Mickbell she can lower the bar… Just for him… <3 She can fix him just a little and she’ll be like "wow! Ok I can settle for this amount of upstanding behavior from you Mickbell you get a gold star"
I never expected it ok I read this extra expecting nothing and god knows why I saw him be like "hey u like Kabru right. You’re his babysitter right. Which poor sap is being Kabru’s maid" with 0 fear and her being so casually pissed back at him and idk, how they’re so comfy being not polite with one another but they’re still coworkers-friends despite it… Crazy for how prickly they both are that they manage that much. They bicker and see each other as annoying at best but weirdly dependable and friends despite it all and……….. I am going to grow them in a lab and observe how I can make it work
MICKBELL IS A REBOUND MORE AT 9??? Maybe Rin and Mickbell have a one night stand and then the aftermath dynamic is this….. She probably regrets it. And then it gets more complex and grows into something odd as she becomes hyperaware of him and they have this little complicity thing going on….
I think cuddling with Kuro (who would be more like a platonic protective & soothing presence in his and Rin’s relationship rather than romo) would destress her actually I think she needs and deserves it. Go to a dog cafe bbygirl it’ll fix you. So what I’m saying is the three of them watch a movie and Rin and Mickbell are sitting on Kuro’s laps and everyone is so comfy. Kuro’s legs die halfway through but he’s self-sacrificing it’s fine….. Actually Mick is on his laps Rin’s just nuzzled into his side. There, fixed. I am so weirdly invested in them… They’re funky to think about. Rin seeing Mickbell and Kuro like "you guys are aware that what you two have is fucked up right" and then joining them in the messy dynamic 🤝 Put them in situations. That will be all.
The sheer amount of sass on their own, let alone together…
Make them get drunk together it’ll be glorious
#Dungeon meshi#mickbell tomas#rinsha fana#I’m sorry i see visions in my hot coco mugs#Fumi rambles#Dunmeshi rarepairs#I’ve had these two in the back of my mind for months by now i’m like. Idk if i’ll write them at one point but it’d be neat#Rin needs more love. This does it for me idk. Think of the shenanigans. Someone chasing after Mick and Kuro and they drag her through the#Alleys along. Market-going turned very wrong. Someone said since both Mick and Kuro are pretty touchy feely they’d lean on her &#I think that’s cute#Mickrin#Rinbell is also cute but eh#Everyone needs Kuro tbh he’s just so laidback and good#Kabru notices early and is like. Now what the fresh hell happened while i stopped looking at you guys for 2 secs. Good for u but also huh??#I swear i have actual meta posts coming soon i just have demons to exorcise every so often#If you ask me for another rin ship that isn’t qpr it’d prob be Pattadol. Toshiro too I’ve heard fun ideas for it but Pattadol…#Her little ‘money~’ laugh is weird lol. One common point with Mick?
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
These are meant for all genders AND ages regarding characters! Can be answered for your blorbo, your self-ship, or just a character you really like or care about right now! ^_^
This poll isn't necessarily about attraction, just what you feel resembles your special little freak :-)
I'd love to hear your choices in the tags, tell me about your faves !!
#tai talks#polls#just thought this would be kind of a fun poll to see#i chose to leave out sexy and hot for a reason. you can mention it in the tags but just choose a different one pls!!#ummm lets see. i think for me my current fave is at/em and i consider him a pretty guy!#i could also say hes handsome but i think hes more pretty a lot of the time ^_^
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.
#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍♂️#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol#anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn#plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH#idc* oops#not retyping all that#and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!!#i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter#let me be kinky in peace#hanzo#hanzo art#hanzo shimada#hanzo fanart#overwatch fanart#watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared#to post out my uaual tags#anyways#artists on tumblr#trans artist#overwatch#my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!#but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow#when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more#but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one)#i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls#im just. pretty face to look at#and thats all ill ever be or amount to#bi polar ramblings ig ig ig
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
my hot take as a person with an english degree and a library degree is that some of the dorkiest fiction and poetry ever committed to paper in the english language came out of the iowa writer's workshop so it is at best goofy and at worst completely futile to argue that your average amazon unlimited writer is having a more deleterious effect on literacy and literature.
#like i know these guys and they are NOT better than booktokers bc they have an mfa in fiction or poetry#in fact. (further hot take) i'd argue many of them are orders of magnitude worse bc they take themselves and their ✨ craft ✨ so seriously#that their work is completely devoid of any authentic human emotion and is merely detached irony trying to mask as social commentary#but the booktok girlies know what they're doing. they're aware! and they're having a great time doing it! they're having fun!#and i have read unfortunately MANY works by mfas that are just like. where is the joy in this? the fear? the sorrow? the honesty???#like yeah booktok is not my thing and it can be pretty silly but most of them aware of the genre they're in and they're having a blast#i've read poetry and fiction by mfas that are grasping so hard to make a Point that they just completely lack genuine and honest emotion#and you can tell the writer just like. did not feel anything urgent or vital about the work they were creating#anyway. follow for more hot takes on the literary establishment#books books books#saying all that i know there is a whole ecosystem of amazon unlimited and booktok writers who are in it strictly for the money#and maybe feel nothing about what they're writing. but they ARE aware of the genre they're in#and to really make it work in amazon unlimited you DO have to have your finger on the pulse of craft wrt genre fiction#whereas i one time in college hateread all of a quote unquote literary writer's works and it was just like#oh you have NO idea that you're just writing complete nonsense#you think you're making a point and have social commentary and every single book is just. incredibly silly#and you would have had a much better and more interesting time if you allowed yourself to write romance novels instead!!
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
"But there's no place like London..." OVO Wembley Arena - December 9th, 2023
#black veil brides#bvb#andy biersack#andy bvb#guy of all time 🖤#attend the tale#bleeders#maeve.gif#sorry i giffed attend the tale footage twice in one week do you still think i'm hot#there were just such good performance snippets i couldn't not have a set of them#and he's pretty. enough said.
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
tøp: mtv unplugged will always be so special to me because it actually shows how fucking talented those guys are
#you know how big of a fan i am and still they left me speechless#i still remember watching it for the first time ever#i was actually holding my breath the entire time because tyler was so nervous at the beginning and i was scared cause#what if something goes wrong#but nope#it was fucking perfect#one of their best performance ever and some of my favourite tyler's vocals and also singing josh and all those instruments and and and-#seriously guys it's just 40min long but it changed my fucking life#you may say twenty one pilots is not a good band (referring to my last anon)#i would say maybe their music is not your thing but you CAN'T say they are not good or not talented#just fucking watch it#it will change your mind#(also to those who think i only listen to tøp because tyler is hot)#(he's actually the most talented guy ever but oh well)#alright i am going to sleep i can barely even see anything i'm pretty sure i made at least one typo somewhere here i'm exhausted bye#twenty one pilots#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Out of all the people to hate in Pelican Town (cough pierre cough), hating Demetrius seems like a wild choice
#stardew valley#sdv#video games#gaming#this is my hot take#i ascibe a lot of his Bad Behaviour as: it's probably awkward for him and sebastian#there's a small likelihood that sebastian remembers his biological father and sometimes that can lead to feelings of inferiority#also he's a dork and a nerd who likes to go errrrm ☝️🤓#i think he's just a dorky guy who doesn't know how to express his feelings#and he's outright trying to connect with the family#like as a kid of a father who remarried: i can tell when a stepparent is at least TRYING#and not to trauma dump but the person my dad remarried cared WAY less than demetrius does#the autistic demetrius reading is very relatable and explains things with more grace#also that family is not good guys vs vad guys. pretty much all of them are flawed in some way and thats OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYY#maru's family isn't my favourite (do they have a last name like the mullners do??? they're my favourite though) but still#okay wait is alex's family the only one with a canon last name??? huh????????#i'm autistic in a similar way that demetrius is and i feel like i relate with him a lot#and the way that people like hate him for being socially obtuse just reminds me of why i don't particularly like to socialize lol
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
sexiest and funniest thing roy harper ever did was look at dick grayson and go i could fix him
#read outsiders 2003. 🔫.#i think one of my fav things about roydick as a ship is the contrast btwn what roy like says and believes about dick vs his actions and how#he behaves with him#like its quite common for ppl in dicks life to put him on a pedestal right and he's used to it and is terrified of letting them down#but Roy who joined the og teen titans team as a full member late never like... looked to dick As A Leader the exact way the others did and+#he also didnt join the ntt until. i haven't actually reread most of ntt/new titans yet but to my recollection he's there for a hot minute+#before him and dick have their big blowout fight and he replaces dick as leader so its like#him and dick have a very unique relationship among the titans AND ALL THIS JUST TO SAY#like if you are not dick. and you ask roy how he feels about dick#the word 'perfect' is pretty likely to come up. and this is specifically the guy who is almost constantly challenging dick at every turn#aand fucking. god#roy 'everyone forgets that icarus also flew' harper#fucking setting up the entire outsiders team bc dick was so deep in that depression pit. explicitly that was For Him. that was why he did i#because he saw how much he was struggling. and then the way dick sees the same and tries clumsily but SUCCESSFULLY to return that care#ach. i love them. mfeo. b#dc#text#roydick
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Need asoiaf fans to be disabused from the notion that anyone “deserves” the Iron Throne. Not a single person deserves it, doesn’t matter how good they are. And I’d take it a step further and say that no one deserves to be king or queen or lord. We shouldn’t be equating kingship/queenship with a happy ending. This series does so much to criticize this awful system so it’s particularly jarring that people will go “I want my fave to get their happy ending and sit on the iron throne”. That’s…kind of antithetical to what the series has shown us so far I think.
#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#people if there’s one thing you ought to take away from reading this series#it’s fEuDaLiSm bAd#that’s like super consistent across the entire system#it sounds reductive but like grrm has spent a lot of time showing us just how rotten this all is#the iron throne is pretty much a physical representation of this rotten system#and I also see people being like ~I want my fave to be the hero because that’s what they deserve and that’s a happy ending~#as if grrm isn’t taking his sweet time deconstructing what it means and costs to be a hero#spoiler alert: it costs a lot!!!#being a hero isn’t going to be a walk in the park guys#my hot take is that part of the reason why people don’t like bran as king of the 7k is because they had thought the IT going to their#fav was the happy ending#so that’s why we get a lot of ~what’s bran’s tax policy~#not to say that everyone asking that is asking it in bad faith#but so many people in this fandom think that certain roles are owed to their faves#gonna prepare a truck load of popcorn for when ADoS comes out because oooo the drama#btw this is not directed toward a particular fandom - because like half of the people who read this books think like that
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
you guys know the talon-lock freefall death spiral bald eagles do for their courtship ritual? i think dior and nimloth had the same energy in their relationship
#i'll elaborate on this one day but. i imagine that they gave the elves around them the save sense of anxiety trepidation amazement#fascination secondhand exhilaration that humans experience from watching the eagles do their thing#elves as i picture are most accustomed to long long long slowly building relationships over time (though exceptions very much exist)#meanwhile there's these two who had the hots for each other pretty much from moment one when they meet in menegroth. and worse they#were NOT shy about brazen flirting and making their interest mutually known even though they weren't actually together at the time#lots of deliberately seeking each other out to dance together during parties and cheeky back and forth ignoring everyone else#plus eye contact that's uh. a SMIDGE too intense to be doing in public guys come on. get a room for the love of elbereth#then in a few months: what do you MEAN you two are engaged???? oh he's princess luthien's son all right...#hm i think like. they're the exact inverse of starwing (my image of starwing at least) in terms of how the romance developed#dior#dior eluchil#dior eluchíl#nimloth#nimloth of doriath#dior x nimloth#tolkien tag#tolkien#the silmarillion#the silm#silm#lord of the rings#lotr#the lord of the rings#jrr tolkien
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Re: your mental health comic - I hope, if any of those characters are based on real hallucinations youve had, that you don't have them anymore. You're a good person who doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.
(Referencing this or this post, I’m not sure which)
Thank you so much for your kind words! The characters in those works are representations of actual hallucinations I’ve experienced. They were real nasty pieces of work, but I haven’t actually hallucinated one in a severe enough manner to talk to them in about… Shoot. Hang on, I need to think… 5-ish years now? I think? And the last time I did, I heard a brief sentence before I took some heavy-duty meds that knocked me out and took care of the hallucination by the time I woke up. I’ve gone through a lot of growth between now and then, and I’m now in a place where the only lasting legacy those losers have had is making me very good at abstract descriptions + personifications and self-reflection. Their cruel words are fuzzy and vague things that I barely remember.
Heck, I went through some old notes to remember some nicknames I gave them, and it was a blast from the past that I actually laughed at! They actually called me “less than worthless” to the point I internalized and verbalized it many times? Wow. That’s pretty cringe, guys. You spent your entire lives bullying a teenager. Cool. Now I love myself and forgot that was ever a mantra I recited at all times in my head.
I once had a project I was working on where I made a fictionalized autobiography set in a fantasy world starring a self-insert and these jokers. It was going to be a kind of field guide to hallucinations I experienced. I stopped working on it after a while because it was too painful for me to develop, as it was meant to dig deep into the pain and struggles I went through on a daily basis… and now I’m looking back at it and considering making it a humorous story about how ridiculous my hallucinations were— at least the ones with consistent personalities. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, truly.
I might end up posting some of the more solemn journal comics I made about these chuckleheads... It'd be weird to dig up my significantly older work, but I think it would do me some good and maybe be enjoyable / educational for others!
#figured i should reiterate this since I'm talking about schizophrenia again:#I won't be offended if anyone has questions they'd like to ask + would gladly answer pretty much everything you guys might be wondering!#anonymous asks are on if you're shy#but it's something i really don't mind talking about :>#heck— i actually can ramble for ages about my experiences if you get me on the right subject!#I always worry that people might be too nervous to ask genuine questions#And my hallucinations honestly usually read more as OCs to me nowadays than the spectral tormentors I once suffered under#i have so many jokes to make about these dopes it's not even funny#anyhoo. *holds up the Orange Boy* this dipstick loves mint chocolate chip ice cream for some reason#*points to the Black Clock* that jerkwad thinks intrusive thoughts are legitimately reflective of one's moral fiber#*points to the Red Woman* that heathen is in brain prison for unsolicited art critiques#*points to self* I put the “hot” in “psychotic”#and with that#it is beddy-bye time for Sofies :)#honk shoo mimimimi#psychosis#schizophrenia#schizophrenic#schizophrenia art#psychosis art#stuff by sofie#sofie answers asks
15 notes
·
View notes