#i unerstand

[weolucbasu]

The Val202 Interview (a very personal rant)

If you've been online in the past 24 hours you have probably come across the newest JO interview from Val202. And it has been painful.

If you've been lurking through my tags, you probably have picked up that I suffer from anxiety, more specifically a panic disorder as well. So, as you can imagine, knowing that Bojan is going through the same thing is... rough. Rough cause I know what a panic attack and its aftermath feels like . Rough because I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And rough because it happened during one of the things Bojan likes doing the most, which is performing.

I just want to send all the love to him. He deserves nothing but the best and I am so proud of him for speaking out on it. I hope he gets (or is already getting) the help he deserves. Speaking from experience, the road to recovery is not easy, never linear and it might take a while, but it is so worth it.

I'm also really proud of him for speaking on it cause I feel like the general public still thinks that a panic attack is someone kicking and screaming, while it can really just look like you slightly zoning out, thinking about the worst-case scenarios. The fact that he managed to perform during it, Bojan, you have my utmost respect. But please, don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm, please.

I really have major respect for him. Insane respect. Cause I've been through it. And I know how embarrassing it can be to tell someone 'oh yeah, sometimes my mind thinks of the worst things ever and my heart goes crazy and then I spiral'. And I can imagine how much harder it is to admit to that when the public thinks like you are living the life.

So yeah, we truly do not deserve Bojan. Bless him. He's amazing, as the rest of the band (also gotta say a thank you to Nace at this point for being with him. I know that 'having someone there for you' as you're panicking is not the best thing ever, because there is no guarantee you will always have a person available, but boy does it make a difference). I hope they get the break they most desperately deserve and need very soon.

[irafuwas]

i don't know why, but in the sparse five hours of sleep i got last night, my brain decided to plague me with dreams of lilia taking care of an elderly silver, up until the final moments of his life. i could hear silver's thoughts the whole time, and he was so absolutely inundated with shame and guilt it almost seemed like he was suffocating. he kept thinking over and over and over again that this all should've been the other way around. he should've been the one looking after his father in the twilight of his life. he should've been his aging father's rock, his safe place to land, his stalwart defender against a world so unbelievably cruel to its most vulnerable denizens. again and again his heart cried out in vain, it should've been the other way around.

as a child he had once wished - prayed, even, to the same force now threatening to reclaim his spirit back into its unconscious designs - for his father to live a long and prosperous life, and it was as though that very wish had backfired on him in a way he never could have possibly imagined

[kiirous]

Alright, I'm reading a new Zhongchi fanfiction. This time it's Zhongli transmigrating into the modern world and the way the speek in this so called modern world is... Let's just say I need help.

Just my fucking luck. My apartment gets broken into by a Zhongli RP-er who’s tripping mad balls. Dude, I don’t know what sort of crazy-ass Houdini shit you pulled just now with the disappearing spear but I ain’t interested.

Rp-er probably speaks of a role player, but what does "tripping mad balls" and "houdini shit" mean?

[dayurno]

Babes what the fuck is your profile picture I've been squinting for hours

it's gottmik from rupaul's drag race dressed as a fashion forward dog holding a cigarette <3

[elektroblues]

gudrun gut has a mini-series coming out but it's completely in german and i dont wanna learn german in duolingo again just to understand it bc learning german in duolingo is litrally like getting into drugs so im just gonna have to watch it for the vibes. and gudrun ofc

[onkpilled]

where did the 3 other aquamelt shippers go

[fernsensei]

kinda in hiatus rn because i got sick (2 days in bed with horrible headache) and also university kicks in i need to do my homework asap. anyway have this goofy meme i drew with a mouse

[im-just-kinda-here-k]

This is the ideal male form. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

[im-smart-i-swear]

Hi! I found your Tumblr and I am tempted to ask you something.

What are your opinions on Manfred from FNiN?

hi!! thank you so much for the question, i wanted to ramble about my favourite polish YA book series for a while and this is the perfect oppartunity!

hoo boy, Manfred! the short answer is - i love him so frickin much.

the long answer:

Manfred is one of my favourite characters in fnin(theyre all my favourites but shhh). he provides a nice contrast to felix net and nika's teenage antics. Rafał Kosik managed to create an artificial intelligence that is both belivable as - well - an artifical being driven by logic and propability while also being a sarcastic little shit who really cares about his friends and wants his teenage creator to grow into a good independent person.

he is a very helpful tool for the plot, often helping the trio with their shenanigans and practically being their interactive wikipedia - wnich is great and makes thing easier for the main characters and pushes the plot forward..... but beacuse of that it sometimesn feels like the trio mostly care about manfred beacuse of his skills(maybe except for nika). Manfred himself often complains about the friends’ treatment of him. (i do know they do care abt him tho!!)

at the same time, its not that he is sorely confined to Net’s minicomputer - beacuse of the nature of his existance he can simultanuesly coexist in a infinite amount of places(and synchronises with his other copies to remain a one whole). he is mentioned numerous times to have friends(other AIs) and invests on the stock market(hes propably a billionare lol), not to mention the fact he controls traffic in Warsaw. hes a busy guy!.... but the version of him in net’s computer is often bored tho

Manfred often feels like a tired reasonable adult trying his best to keep three extremely intelligent and troublesome teens at bay, and i really love that! its common in media to portray an AI as somethin otherwordly and cold(not that manfred cant be those thing sometimes!), so seeing an AI so... human, while still being distinct enough to cause a certain level of disconnect is a nice change!

overall, as i said before - i really adore him and every time he appears in the books is a delight!

i could talk more about him and his relationships with other characters(especially Net) but its late and im a bit tired! mayhaps ill add something later..

again, thanks for the ask anon! i hope my answer satisfied your curiosity!(and was somewhat comprehensible) 

have a good day/night!

[2oranges]

neuvillette

[lesovoj]

some of my fave parts of mimi's live of course not including every time he spoke about his album

[dotcomgirrrl]

i did this all by myself so proud of me

[pandapupremade]

im inconsolable

actually shaking actualyl fee lie keim gonna be sick but in tnhe best way oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my g

[itemcrash]

being more open abt system stuff is so scary bccause i am still so very damaged by things ppl think and im so flipfloppy on being ashamed or not but also it feels nice to do so in like situations where i am not in actual danger because of it (lke i cant do that irl.) i genuinely dont feel like oh yeah im the one guy in the body like auh. its everyones body we're a bunch of guys in a trenchcoat and i consider a lot of alters just lik. my siblings so it feels nice to acknowldge them. idk. whatever. *expodes*

[leseigneurdufeu]

ok new tag game what appears as tag suggestions when you start tagging "i want"

[dootles]

AIDGDJISYDVSOFHFHDIA

scREAMs?????????