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#i wanna finish my degree but also i dont
bixiaoshi · 1 year
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bunnihearted · 5 months
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lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it
#idk it's just all too much to deal w#i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish#i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months#like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk#i just dont know what to do or how to handle it#im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job#im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself#i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it#idk the list just goes on and on and on#nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help#i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all#im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc#i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable#i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city#anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :((#it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more.#so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk
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sad--tree · 1 year
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keep saying i don't want 2 work another retail xmas but canNOT 4 the life of me make myself finish my goddamn fucking job applications !!!!!! death & dying & despair etc. etc.
#i dont dislike the application process for gc jobs on principle BUT#it does not mesh well w/ my difficulties re: starting & finishing tasks#but like i understand why u cant just send in a resume n hit done#NOT that there are many IT listings up atm...... and ill apply 4 clerical/admin stuff too#but an IT-1 STARTS a good $10k a year higher than a CR-5 soooooo :///#which is whatever its fine money isnt everything!! ill gladly make less if it means not hating my job!!!#but i also wanna. u know. LIVE. move out of my parents house. buy brand name snacks occasionally. maybe -gasp- go on a vacation#(not 2 say i dont make an attempt at travel now but thats with very finite savings that are def only going down not up)#also extremely frustrating 2 me the emphasis put on having a degree that completely locks me out of certain job categories#like. yes. there are for sure some where having the bg knowledge is important eg. an AU (auditor/accountant) or MA (methodologist)#and there are certain skills a degree (in theory) provides eg critical thinking research etc.#but not all of us have $40k+ to get tge fancy piece of paper saying we have those things. and u can have those skills w/o a degree#and smth like an EC which needs a degree in economics sociology or statistics is so arbitrary#and maybe not necessarily actually based in the majority of work done by the majority of positions in that category#ANYWAYS not me being bitter abt education standards YET AGAIN lol#idek if i could go to uni even if i could afford it. even tho i have 2 college diplomas id probably have 2 redo my grade 12 english 😶‍🌫️#also if money were no object id probably go for like. film studies or smth lol not sociology#tho. ngl. if i had the willpower and determination 4 smth so rigorous (i 100% dont) accounting does seem. interesting asdffhkkfdghh#ANYWAYS pt. 2 all this 2 say this is why i instead spent $10k+ on the only possible 2 yr diploma#that can still get u in2 the higher paying public service jobs. even tho ive discovered i Dont Particularly Care for programming. :(#thats an understatement actually i was actively in hell for like 80% of that program and the remaining 20% mostly wasnt coding
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lostgirlinthewoods · 3 months
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CRAZY STUPID LOVE | park wonbin smau
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02. chanyoung's older sis .。.:*☆
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ignore timestamps unless otherwise stated.
notes. put on a video clip in the first panel if anyone misses it (although tumblr lowkey messed up with the quality). this chapter heavily involves chanyoung's dynamics with both group of friends to let you all establish how the character blends in with each other. hope you like it :)) also, i would probably gonna update at random times tho i really dont wanna overwhelm with it being so close to each other. im thinking of doing one or two chapters a day. any suggestions?
spoiler for the next chapter: band meetup
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back . masterlist . next
pairing. guitarist!park wonbin x athlete!fem!reader
synopsis. lee y/n, a competitive swimming athlete, just wants to finish her degree as a scholar. no drama. no distractions. and certainly, no romance. park wonbin, a music prod student and the siren’s guitarist, just wants to make music. no crazy fangirls in line to date him. no insane dms from random people declaring their love for him. and certainly, no dating. imagine the shock on y/n’s face when she received a message from her brother, anton, asking “since when did you and wonbin started dating?”
genre. social media au, college au, fake dating, fluff, crack
status. ongoing.
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taglist. open. send an ask or reply to this post.
@molensworld @wonychu @yoursyuno @siuewnb @gyehyeonist @binoyu @secretiny
@started-with-f-ends-with-uck @seokton @fae-renjun @nujeskz @i03jae
asks. for any thoughts, messages, and feedbacks; or even just for a conversation.
likes, reblogs, comments, or any type of engagements are appreciated. thank you <3
© lostgirlinthewoods. Do not copy, steal, or translate any of my works. 
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bananaactivity · 2 months
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Sooo… Hook and Morgie huh.
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Morgie and Hook look so different in this world… I love it. I actually ended up changing his hair to match Morgana from Troll Hunters 🫣. I wanted him to look more interesting cause people kept saying he was random and lame, Red heads with mullets aren’t lame I think 😃
( outing myself as a troll hunters fan in the year of 2024 💀)
Down below I put a little GIF of Morgies eyes doin the changing thing
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(Why he kinda serving Edward Cullen tho like 😛)
Turns out Morgana Le Fay is REALLY powerful, so by extension Morgie should have the potential to be a pretty spooky sorcerer/ witch/ fay/ god. Based on Descendants canon, parents magical abilities is hereditary ie it’s VERY likely Morgie has all his moms powers in Arthur mythos. Which includes stuff like NECROMANCY AND OMNIPRESENCE, shapeshifting, immortality, time travel, illusion, flight, casting spells, healing, ASTRAL PROJECTION, telekinesis, mind control… other stuff across multiple media projects. I’m actually gonna keep a lot of this, minus omnipresence and time travel cse that’s way too powerful. As a caveat morgies still gonna be stupid and goofy asl… and he’s not the bossy type. He’s also tooo young to be super strong he can only do low level versions of his mom’s powers… like he can only turn into a Cat, snake, small dragon, crow, and big wolf for his transformation powers currently. I like to think anything he turns into is always black with his serpent eyes. Actually I don’t think that’s just true in my universe. Also because he’s stupid it makes since for Merlin to be okay with him at his school. Since Morgies mom has literally hated him for like centuries atp.
Speaking of this still adds another layer to the “ why is Uliana in charge when her crew consists of gods and supernatural entities that are much more powerful than she is” all she has is tentacles…. And even hook could turn her into Sannakjii if he wanted to fr bro… 3/5ths of her crew are literal gods or god adjacent 💀
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I think this picture sums up My Hook and Morgie pretty good… I have more goofy pictures I wanna do of them.
Yes I did give Morgie fangs and black fingertips… necromancer??… shapeshifter??… can’t help myself??
Dont worry Hook is still flamboyant and crazy, he’s just a little sad at the beginning. He meets Morgie at school right after Peter Pan cut his hand off and banished him from Neverland because Hook got a scholarship to Merlin’s academy and he wants to be a pirate… so yeah he’s pretty sadge and struggling to function with his hook 😥 he won’t let that stop him from finishing his Swashbuckling masters degree tho 💅SLAY WE LOVE AN EDUCATED KING EVEN THO HIS SON CANT COUNT. Morgie is also a weapons smith major and he imbues his shit with like dark souls so that’s pretty cool.
I’ll have more on Morgie after I finish the goofy pictures…
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pinkpigtailsprincess · 5 months
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How to Dermaplain Properly *࿐ ࿔*:・゚🎀
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Hi! Hi! 🎀, Welcome 2 My informational guide on how 2 dermaplain properly bc ik some people either want to try it but don’t know how or have tried it and didn’t do it correctly bc believe me i tried it and i did it completely wrong so im here 2 make sure you don’t make the same mistakes i have!! anyways
❤︎ ໋𓈒 What is Dermaplaining??
Dermaplaning is a cosmetic treatment in which dead skin cells and peach fuzz are scraped off with a scalpel by a plastic surgeon, dermatologist, or cosmetologist. - A random definition i got off the interweb!!
❤︎ ໋𓈒 Cool!! Now how do i Dermaplain??
…So What ur gonna do is first get ur materials you’ll need
- a REAL Dermaplaing Razor
i see a-lot of people accidentally using eyebrow razors but please make sure you look for an actual dermaplaining razor bc eyebrow razor tend to have uneven blades and that can irritate the skin!!
- Facial Oil,Aquaphor,Vaseline,Coco Butter or anything that falls under this category!
- Cleanser
- something to put the discarded hair on!
- And Ofc ur Face!!
Step 1; Clean Ur Face!!
Step 2; Take ur facial oil,vaseline etc. and put it all over ur face or just on the areas you wanna focus on to give ur blade something to slide on and easier put up hair and dirt don’t be shy but also don’t put too much!! and let it sir for about 1 minute DONT RUB IT IN
Step 3; Now that its set take ur blade in one hand and ur other hand and pull ur face up just near where ur hair starts and GENTLY!!! shave downwards at a 45 degree angle and do it in gentle short strokes ur cannot shave ur face like how you shave ur body!! and one ur finished a stroke wipe the hair and grime on a paper towel and repeat be careful and be gentle so you don’t cut ur face
Step 4; When ur finished clean ur blade and put back into the safety case! and gently moisturze ur face
and UR DONE!! 🎀 i hope this helped some of yall bye 4 noww luv you!! 🎀☀️
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noctilin · 23 days
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Hi jez!! ive been a long time follower of yours and your art has been a huge help when i was struggling in school. Hope you dont mind me asking this out of the blue but Im graduating soon and i still dunno if the careerpath i'll be taking is one i wanna take for life. I really like art, but im not really good at it, and i dont rlly have the means to "follow my passion". Im curious, do you do art for a living full time, or are you doing art while also having a quote unquote "real job"?
it doesnt really help that my parents arent very supportive of my art hobbies as of now, especially since im not making any money out of it. Money speaks as they say... LOL
hello!! i answered a question similar to this before you might be interested in. but tldr, i draw for a living! mainly freelance illustration.
commitment to art as a career is such a... complicated topic, i won't lie. even more difficult when you don't really have a sturdy support system like you say :( unfortunately, most people don't realize this is or isn't what they want until they take that leap.
personally, at first, it felt good, affirming to earn a living out of my art, it still does, but after years of it, i realized i would rather not monetize my work. it caused me to develop a complicated relationship with my creative process over the years. it often makes me question if i feel fulfilled with what i do, or if i'm only making this a means to survive. it burns me out constantly. even in the present, i have to continuously recondition my own perception of my process. but i'm currently not in a good position to just switch out my career.
i have been incredibly lucky that my art garners interest the way it does, and i make sure not to take it for granted. but i cannot hide how mentally draining it is to draw because i need to make ends meet instead of drawing because of the joy of it.
i like my art, i just wish i could enjoy it without worrying about a hungry stomach at the same time. 😅
i guess the point i'm making from all this is that money as a motivator in a creative field can be a mind killer. some people can do it, but i've rarely met such personalities... so what i'll say is this: if you want to learn and be around creatives, i would encourage going to art school, if you can. but going to art school isn't the end of it all either if you find it difficult to enroll yourself in one. art is accessible to all nowadays! just take a few google or youtube searches and maybe a little trip to the library, regardless if you want to keep it as a hobby or pursue it professionally. i've met a lot of artists who've landed full time jobs in studios without finishing an art degree. it's just a matter of letting your portfolio talk for you, a little bit of luck, and surrounding yourself with people who spark and uplift your creative spirit.
i know this is all still uncertain, but if there's anything i'm sure about, it's the fact that you don't have to give up art to live. art is living. it can still be your hobby if it doesn't end up as your job. and even if it doesn't become your career now, it's not impossible to have it in the future. i hope you find your way and, for what it's worth, congratulations on your upcoming graduation :)!
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soggyriceee · 1 year
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Moth to a flame part 3?
Moth To A Flame | Konig NSFW
| first of all, I just wanna say thank you for all the support on this story. when I say I was not expecting to make this a series I wasn't. I literally was listening to the song and got some really good inspiration for a quick little smut and kept it pushing lmao. im so glad you guys like it and I hope to write more long stories in the future! in this part I will say Konig is a little crazy, and a lot of mentions about stalking, mommy king(hehehe), and aggressive sex are mentioned. also horrible German translation. if these are any triggers to you please please do not read this part! thank you again ily all sm <3 |
four months have passed since you moved away. you and your boyfriend now live in New York, working a daytime job as a school nurse. you finally decided to put your college degree to work. your boyfriend worked at the same company, got a raise and is planning on taking you both out to Cancun for the summer. and of course,
you got the abortion.
it was the least you could do to help make your boyfriend feel better. the last thing you needed was to be alone in New York, a city too big for someone to learn on their own. you were happy. contempt. Konig was out of your life and you were able to focus on your boyfriend now.
however, arguments and trust issues were inevitable after what happened. as much as your boyfriend loved you, he couldn't trust that the same thing would happen again. whether it was Konig or someone else. a ring light camera was placed at the front of your apartment door, checked by him every night for Konig but also any suspicious activity. "its more so for our safety." he had told you a few days ago. but you knew it was more to prove his doubts wrong.
Konig harnt reached out to you. he was blocked on everything, completely ghosted. but you knew that wouldn't stop him from looking for you. you just hoped it wasn't anytime soon. the abortion was already a big step into the right path for you, Konig coming in and ruining that path was not what you needed. you were happy where your life was now, you were happy with your boyfriend. Konig would never be an issue again.
that was until you heard a knock at the door of your office. "come in~" you said sing songly, expecting another high schooler to come in with some lame excuse to be here and not in class. you paid no mind to when the door open, finishing putting the rest of the cough drops into the jar. "what can I help you with?" you asked, back still turned.
it was quiet for a moment. then, you felt two strong arms wrapping around your waist. you gasped, turning quickly. there, Konig looked down at you, a wide spread smile on his face. "Meine Liebe, ich habe dich so sehr vermisst.." he whispered, leaning down placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
to say your heart felt like it would jump out your body was a humungous understatement. you know it wasn't your fault this time it was happening. but you still felt beyond guilty, and most of all scared. pushing him back, you moved to the front of your desk. " h-how.. how did you find me- how did you get in?" you asked, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. "dont worry about that my love.. im here now. im here to take you back home." he said, tilting his head slightly.
he looked around, humming softly. "this is a cute office. very you like." he said, smiling at the photos of you and students you had grown close to over the last few months. but he didnt really care about that. he cared about getting you back to "home". "I am home Konig. you need to leave me alone im serious this time. im happy here im happy with-"
"but you aren't. I know you aren't. I know you miss me meine liebe. I miss you too. think about you all the time." he said, another smile coming across his face. he moved closer to you but you backed away. he sighed, crossing his arms. he was unhealthy. he needed serious help. help you simply couldn't offer him. "how long are you going to play this game." he said, his tone more serious, his eyes shooting you daggers.
"im not playing a game Konig you need to move on. you cheated many times. you lost your chance to be with me." you said, looking to his side. he wasn't one to get angry, so you weren't worried about that. you were worried about falling for his gaze, his puppy eyes. " gosh those were mistakes. I regret it. I love you. I love you please come back to me." he begged, his voice going from demanding to desperate.
he moved forward again, this time following you until your back hit the wall.
shit.
he placed an arm on the side of your head, the other moving for your chin. smiling, he tilted his head. "dont you see.. no matter where you go, how many phone numbers you make. ill find you, like I always do. and ill fuck you good, like I always do. ill have you leave him and be with me. who you really wanna be with." he whispered, his eyes moving down from your lips to your covered breasts. your chest rose and fell quickly, tears brimming your eyes. you hated him. but you hated him even more because you know he was right. he always fucks you good. he always finds you.
"please.. please leave me alone." you whimpered, fighting back the tears. he ignored your cries and moved his hand to your tummy, frowning. "our baby.. where is it? you should be a lot bigger by now." he said, stepping back a bit.
at that moment you had remembered the abortion, cursing yourself for allowing it to slip your mind so quickly. "where is our baby?" he asked again, his eyes going back to dark, angry ones. you opened your mouth to say words, but none came out. what were you to say? what if he really got angry with you this time? but he had the right to know. and you knew that. after all, he was the father.
"i..I aborted it Konig.. it wouldn't have grown up with its real father anyways." you replied after a moment. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. you knew all to well he wasn't going to have a pleased look on his face.
silence filled the large room until finally, he spoke up. "well. we can always try again." he said, turning to the chair at your desk. he rolled it out, sitting on it. "come here." he said, patting his lap. but you didnt move. he smiled, shaking his head. "always been defiant. I remember when we first got together I had to train that pretty little mouth of yours to not talk back to me. now look at you. thats what happens when you mess with boys, libeling. not men."
his words didnt bother you in an annoyed or angry way. unlucky for you, it made you clench around nothing. and he knew it did. he knew you loved being talked down on while being treated like a princess. he knew exactly how to turn you on and he was abusing that knowledge right now. " I bet you missed being thrown around, fucked like some worthless toy and then babied right after. dont you?" he stood from the chair, making his way back over to you. " you miss your mouth getting fucked, filled with cum. swallowing it all. making a mess on my dick.. fuck I think about it all the time. those pretty little eyes of yours looking up at me. mascara running down your face while I slide myself down that tight, tight fucking throat of yours." he said, looking down to your throat before quickly looking back into your eyes.
wet wasn't even the word to describe the situation going on in your underwear. you cursed yourself mentally for allowing him to talk to you like this. but you couldn't stop him. because he was right. your boyfriend, no matter how hard he tried, simply couldnt man handle you the way you loved. the way you needed. he was gentle, afraid to leave so much as a hickey on you. but he was slowly becoming more open to it, especially since seeing Konig pounding you from behind. he wanted you to stay, he didnt want you to move on to another. or back to Konig.
"Konig you need to leave.. im not coming back to you. you messed up far too man-"
" so let me make it up to you libeling.. lassen Sie mich um Sie kümmern.." he was now standing right infront of you, looking down at you. you couldnt look away. the way he spoke to you in his mother tongue turned you on, always. even if you couldnt understand every word, his deep voice and accent made it hot. his hand slid up your nursing shirt, gripping your covered breast. you bit down on your lip, closing your eyes. you couldnt give in. not this easy.
shoving his hand down, you stepped away. "Konig leave or ill call the police. ill write a restraining order anything to get you away from me." you finally said, fixing your shirt. "your so hot when you try to act all tough maus.. fuck its making me so hard." he said, pulling at his pants buckle. your eyes flickered down for a few seconds, but it didnt go unnoticed. "see dont fight it maus.. I know you want me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours. make you cum all over me. in this office of yours. you want me to fuck you on your desk huh?" he whispered, unbuckling his pants and slowly pulling his already hard dick out.
the tip literally dripped pre cum, dropping to the floor. it made you whimper, only fueling his craving for you. "Konig.. please leave." you whispered out, but it wasn't confident enough for him to believe. he smirked, turning down towards your chair once again. "maus dont you see how hard I am? I need you. I crave you." he said softly, eyes looking at you so "innocently".
his hand gripped the base of his dick, a sigh coming from him. he leaned over, spitting onto the tip and moving his hand down his shaft, slowly back up. a quiet groan left his lips, his head resting back and looking to you. he sped up his hand movements, keeping eye contact onto you. small, desperate whimpers slipped from his lips as his hips bucked up. "oh maus.. please~" he whimpered, his chest rising fast, falling at the same rate.
you whimpered at him, wanting to go and slide down on his dick. not matter how badly you wanted to keep up with the happiness you had in your life right now, you needed him. he saw your confusion and smiled, taking his other hand and reaching out. you hesitated, but slowly walked over to him. his movements slowed down, his eyes looking up at you. "please.." he whimpered.
you knew this was wrong. and you hated how much he always found a way to wrap you around his finger. how he always managed to get you beneath him, fucking into you relentlessly. and you hated how he always came back into your life when you were happy. you hated how badly you craved him, no matter how far away he was, or how bad he treated you.
you couldn't process anything until you felt him pull you down onto his lips. and you couldnt stop yourself from kissing him back. your hands cupped his face, forcing your tongue into his mouth. he smirked against your lips, pulling you onto his lap. you grazed over his exposed dick, sitting right front of it. you pulled away, a long strong of saliva connecting you two.
" maus.. i wanna fuck you so bad. please." he whispered, his hand sliding up your shirt, pulling your bra down and playing with your nipple. you whimpered, nodding your head quickly. "c-can I lock the door?" you whispered, looking down at him. but he was so focused on your nipples, and playing with himself that he same time. you assumed he didnt care, and continued to pull your shirt up and off.
he wrapped his arms around your waist and stood, sitting you on your desk. "imma fuck you... send you back home with my cum swimming around inside you. you want that?" he said, pulling your pants down. you hated how much you wanted to say yes. it was killing you. but the way his tip ran up and down your slit, teasing your entrance as he whispered filthy words into your ear, you couldnt help but whimper out a pathetic 'yes'.
thats all he needed to hear from you before he slid his full, thick length into your tight cunt, a deep groan coming from him as his head pressed against the top of yours. a gasp slipped from you, your hand covering your mouth. as hot as this was, fucking in your nurse office with the door unlocked, it was risky. in fact, you could loose your job. but he wanted that. he wanted you to have a reason to leave and go back with him, no matter how crazy or detrimental the reason. " so fucking dirty.. getting fucked on your office desk-shit- I bet you want someone to come in here and see this tight cunt getting fucked huh?" he whispered, gripping the back of your head, pulling it so your eyes met his.
he was hot. you couldnt admit it. the way he looked as he fucked you made you go feral. his hair sticking to the top of his forehead, eyes locked onto yours as small whimpers and groans left his pretty little lips. he could say the same for you. the way your tits jerked up and down every thrust he gave, your desk squeaking along with it. your hands gripping onto him as you gave him small, pathetic begs. "say it louder baby.. what do you want? be a big girl for me." he whispered, pulling his now shiny dick out, slamming it back into you. your hands gripped him harder as his grip on your head did too. "f-faster.. please" you finally were able to muster out.
his hips waited no time to move faster, feeling every vein and inch of his thickness move in and out of you. it was heaven. no matter how much you hated him, you couldnt stop yourself from letting him fuck you. anywhere. anytime. you guys were like magnets, no matter how hard you both tried you couldnt keep away from each other.
the more time went on, you realized the tears forming in konigs eyes. they weren't from pleasure either. " k-konig?" you asked, your hands falling to his lower stomach. but he kept going, no matter how hard you tried to stop him, he kept going. "I-i hate you.. so fucking much. I hate y-you because I know I c..I cant live with or without you-fuck.. I-i crave you even when I shouldn't.. I fucking hate you" he cried out, small whimpers coming every now and then from him.
for a moment you had to stop and think about what he just said. but, he didnt give you much time. the more his tears fell the faster and harder his thrusts became. the more aggressive he became. he let go of your head but pushed your body back, your bare back hitting the cold desk, pens and papers falling to the floor. "k-konig" your whimpered, your legs wrapping around his waist. "I-im gonna..cum soon..fuck!" he groaned, his head falling into your chest. his hot tears covered you and you could've sworn you heard 'mommy' fall from his lips every now and then. it made you clench around him seeing him so vulnerable, so emotional while fucking you.
he took one of your legs, pushing it up so your foot rested on top of the desk. his thrusts became deeper, the sound of your moans growing louder. his hand quickly found your mouth, silencing all the whimpers and moans that slipped from you. "m..mommy im cumming~" he cried out, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy.
his sudden change in persona threw you off guard, but you liked it. too much. the closer he got the more he chanted 'mommy'. and you could tell, he was really close. "m-mommy I-ill hold it back.. ill hold it back till y-you cum first~" he whimpered into your chest, his arms finding your waist and pulling you up into him.
your hands quickly found his hair and tugged it, moaning how good you felt. "k-konig keep going.. im so close~" you moaned, your head falling back off the desk, eyes shutting closed. he growled, slamming deeper into you, stabbing your squishy g spot each time.
the knot in your stomach quickly came undone and not too long after, he came with you, his grip on you tight enough to snap you in half if he really wanted. he whimpered as the last bit of his cum shot into you, small 'plat plat's coming from beneath you two. he pulled out, watching the mix of cum pour out of you as if you were a waterfall, dropping to the floor.
heavy breathing filled the now silent room as you slowly lifted yourself up. "ill get you a paper towel." he said softly, shuffling over to the counter and grabbing the roll. he brought it over, getting to his knees and slowly, spreading your legs. taking the towel he ran over your pussy slow, collecting the cum. it was silent. you didn't know if you should bring up what he said, what he called you.
he sensed your tension and looked up at you from below. "I meant every word I said. I hate you. but I hate you because I love you too much to let you be someone else's. nobody.. nobody has ever made me this crazy.. ever. you've unlocked a part of me that I didn't know existed. I didn't know I had. my heart hurts seeing you happy with someone who isn't me, having a life with someone who isn't me. and what hurts more is to know I caused that." he spoke, his voice soft.
you looked down at him, your chest hurt. you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. "you dont have to say anything. ill leave you and your boyfriend alone." he stood, throwing the papers away. "im moving back to Germany." he said, looking down at you. and you couldnt lie, your chest felt like it was tightening. tears began to pool but you looked down.
" I leave in three days. I just.. wanted to say goodbye. I guess. I know you hate me, I know you want me to leave. and I love you enough to do anything that will make you happy. if you-"
your hands wrapped around his shirt collar and you pulled him down, slamming your lips to his. his large hands slammed against the sides of you, holding himself up. he immediately kissed back, moaning into the kiss. thats when the tears fell.
"please..please dont leave.." you whispered, pulling away. you looked up at him, looking for anything that said "I won't".. but his lips formed a small smile, his hand meeting your cheek. "your happier without me.. you know you are." "I dont c-care. I cant ha-have you not here. please"
the tears kept falling and he caught each one, flicking them from your face. " oh meine liebe.." he whispered, pulling you into a hug.
✧・゚: ✧・゚:
2 years had passed. you were pregnant. again. getting married in a few months too. you were excited because you felt like you were happy, for real this time. you stayed in New York, working at a new school more uptown. it was great, you were happy now.
" okay chicken orrr steak?" you asked your fiancé, rubbing your baby bump as you stared into the fridge. your soon to be husband came behind you, kissing your neck and putting his hand on top of yours. "chicken. we can make Alfredo." he said. nodding, you grabbed the meat, putting it in the sink to defrost.
" ill go run you a bath and we can get ready to go to the bakery. im excited to taste all the new cakes." he said, taking your hand and kissing each knuckle. " me too. especially the Oreo one. pleaseee at least try it. for me." you pouted. "your gonna say no to your pregnant fiancé?" you smirked, pointing to your belly.
you were due exactly 3 months after your wedding. so you both decided now was the perfect time to get married before you both had no time. "I guess I cant huh." he laughed, opening the bedroom door. you sat at the edge, watching his tall stature move to the shared bathroom.
as you watched him from your bed you smiled, thinking of all you both had been through. maybe it was the hormones, but you felt the tears well in your eyes. and it didnt go unnoticed either. " meine liebe? whats wrong?" he asked horridly, rushing over and wiping the tears from your eyes. you smiled and shook your head, placing a high kiss on his cheek.
"I just love you a lot. thats all." you whispered. he smiled, lifting you bridal style before kissing you passionately back. " Ich liebe dich mehr, meine liebe."
| tried to be cool and only highlight when y'all knew he was speaking at the end hehehe anyways guys this is like.. the end! if you guys would want one where the outcome is different and she stays with her current boyfriend lmkk cause I can do that too. but yea like I said thank you all so much for the love on this mini series <333 |
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antiwhores · 2 years
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Brand New; Bakugouxreader
After chasing you away when it was revealed that you were pregnant, you start a new life. The baby didn’t survive so your life was your own withiut trave of him. A life without Bakugou. Can he do the same as good as you? You’re happy. Is he?
TW: hurt, angst, no comfort for Bakugou, unwanted pregnancy, miscarriage, break ups, fighting (verbal), good ending for reader, not proof read, unprotected sex, hatred.
I was just in that angsty mood yk? Yall btw, i wanna cut my vagina off fr. And i dont want myears anymore. Whats the point of hearing if it only works sometimes?! Ugh.
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You resented him. Bakugou was officially dead to you. In fact he had been dead to you for a while. But when he decided to pop up into your life and try to ruin it again. You were pissed.
During your sophmore year of highschool you were dating Bakugou. You two were childhood friends, attached at the hip. But when he decided that fucking with a faulty condom would be a good thing, even when you protested, it all changed.
He got you pregnant. All because he didn’t wanna wait to get his dick wet till he could get a new condom to replace of the one he’d been carrying in his pocket for the whole span of the 3 day camping trip you two took.
Didn’t he understand that this was a huge change for you too? No, he was selfish.
“I don’t have time for a damn child! Im trying to be a hero for gods sake!” “Okay?! You can’t just try to force and abortion on me like that you piece of shit! This was all you! And you think I don’t have shit to do with my life to?!” “Your life isnt as important as mine!”
You packed your shit and left that week. You never looked back. And you regret nothing.
You moved out to the far countryside of Japan. Somewhere hidden in the fog of a deserted, closed off town. You finished your highschool years in that small little village. You got to know everyone in the town. You went to college in another side of the outskirts and graduated with a degree that would keep you happy.
The baby didn’t survive, you didn’t even have time to think about whether or not you wanted to keep it before it died. You remember going to the doctor about a day or two after the incident to check on the parasite in your stomach. It was gone.
You remember laughing biterly, tears whelling up at what the doctor told you. All that bickering and loss just for a false alarm. You were sick.
Now, for the first time in a long time, you were happy. You were 24 with a house and car, a stable job, plenty of non-judging allies, friends and good relationships, financial stability, a nice area of living, and most of all; you were without him.
You swore never to step back into the city again unless absolutely necessary. Not even for family visits. The family that did want to see you came out to you instead of vice versa. You also made sure not to tell any of your old friends where you had gone.
You knew he patrolled the streets. Even if theres a small chance you’d see him again, you wanted to prevent that at all costs.
But apparently no matter how far you ran, the past ran faster.
Everyone in the town knew eachothers stories and you were no exception. The town knew that you had been betrayed by such a famous man. They were kind, they took down any advertisements for the man, they talked shit whenever he came up on tv, etc.
So of course all hell broke loose when he came to your small town to work on a case. They knew they needed to keep you away from him and they knew how.
So, as Bakugou was roaming the streets, spreading his bitter aura like the plague on everything he touched, you hid.
The plan was almost compromised when he met eyes with you breifly. You were in a neighbors house when it happened. Everyone had just been notified that he came through so you weren’t ready.
You dissapeared from the window as quickly as you came. Even though he beckoned himself a fool, a crazy man for even thinking his first love was in this building after all these years still as gorgeous as he remembers; he still found himself walking up to the door and placing a firm knock.
It was not you whom answered his knock but the neighbor. A tiny brown woman with glassy green eyes who looked about 25. A coldness wafted off of her as she questioned his reasoning for knocking. He felt like a borderline schizophrenic. According to himself, he was just so deperate to see her again that when he saw a woman around the same age as you he was stiff and stunned.
He packed his shit and left that week. He looked back. He regreted everything.
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tiramegtoons · 9 days
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Okay so last night i finished watching the entirety of Okage Shadow King and-
.... I dont even know where to start. this is unlike any game ive watched or played before. It felt so weird yet so enticing and half of the time i couldn't tell if my brain was rotting or there was just some real deep lore or hidden meaning in here Maybe both??? and it left a strange, creepy, yet longing and nostalgic feeling in the back of my head too.
Let me explain.
spoilers ahead!!!
okay so First of all, the visual style of the game looks awesome I loved the characters and the dynamics going on between the NPC's and especially the main characters. I loved enjoying the witty banter and arguing between Stan and Rosalyn the most. But also, why is Stan insulting and body shaming her so much SHE AINT EVEN FAT??? i LOOK AT HER MODEL AND IM LIKE BRUH
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for some odd reason i still found it funny though. Some of the humor might've even been exaggerated to a degree as well(not sure if that was intentional). Even if the writing and dialogue was a bit lost in translation, maybe perhaps, it was still pretty good as a whole and it caught me by surprise.
As for the world and NPC's... something definitely felt off at the beginning and i guess thats what gave me the initial unsettling feeling. Everyone just seemed so bent on doing their own part like dude i couldn't even explain to you Our main protagonist, Ari, is just a wet pathetic little boy who lets everyone step on him/lh Damn, even his own family doesn't seem to care much for him as an individual person and doesn't consider that he has his own ambitions and it rubbed me in a weird way. and yet for some reason i was still hooked. and then came STANLEY HIHAT TRINIDAD THE FOURTEENTH(the 3d challenged flappy shadow)to sweep our poor little boy off his feet and make him his "slave"(adoptive son/j) so he can conquer the world bfhdgsdvhgdfbgdhjg which btw how could anyone take any "evil king" that seriously with a name like that? I LOVE IT. i really enjoyed him getting his ghostly ass handed to him by the NPC's it was hilarious. He was-without a shadow of a doubt(hehehehehe)- the best character. Also it's so funny how he claims to be an evil king but intentionally and unintentionally does good things? I love that trope with villians. Anywho getting off track a little, Another thing that struck out to me was the soundtrack. It's pretty unique, but at times can get pretty repetitive. The ones i enjoy a lot are -Forest of willkur(just really encompasses the feel of the entire game) -Evil King Battle and my favorite- -Addashi Desert(got me in a shimmy FR)
youtube
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YEAAAAAAAAAA
anywho going back to repetitive things... Eeeeeee... the fighting mechanics are sure something(GOD WHY ARENT THE COMMANDS BEING CARRIED OUT ON TIME WH- IS THE GAME POSSESSED??? DID STAN POSSESS THE GAME???) Also why are there ghosts in broad daylight?? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GHOSTSSSS) i get it, you do need to grind for items and XP in this game but it looks pretty tedious, especially deep grave pit... oh lordy dude there are literally eight floors in the cave its not a cave its the 7 circles of hell(plus front desk)/j I don't wanna dunk on this game but the fighting could use improvements. Back to the story... i like the melancholy turn it takes when princess Marlene was revealed to be a doll which made total sense when Stan found she had no soul, the reveal of Beiloune's true identity, and when Ari becomes totally ignored and forgotten by just about everyone and from that point going forward the game took a more serious turn... also why does Triste(which means sad in spanish and i see what they did there-)
... why does that remind me of the wasteland from Epic Mickey where other people who've been forgotten reside there... also the dark, odd vibe of both games kinda match too. Another thing, I'm not sure if anyone else had the same thoughts but did anyone else expect a twist where Ari would become the evil king??? i mean, if this was a supposed journey of our main character who is always reminded about how much of a pushover he is would've lead me to think that the buildup would lead to something like Beiloune making him all powerful and force him to fight against his friends. But the last chapter also surprised me with its own twist and im digging that too. but yeah just about everything was coming back together about why the world was and felt as it is. its always the butler isnt it? Also Stan's final form:
I CANT-
im sorry i can't take this seriously when he's just letting them hang out like that(his moobs)
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... anywho that happened. As for any hidden meanings and morals I'll have to talk about that later cause my smooth brain still cannot grasp. And its just
SO MUCH
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cannibalise · 1 month
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emmm i rly. rly rly rly rly rly rlr yly rly rly rly rly rlryu rly like shrike and i talk abt him a lot privately to my friend so i wanted to ummm. make a post i guess? about him.. and similarities to corax and stuff because hes so Strange and fun and i love him
ok well first of all hes in. the rg codex supplement (8th) and ik hes mentioned in the space marine codices but i dont own them and finding pdfs isnt the easiest thing in the world (if anyone has the 5th and 4th ed ones id like to read them ToT or at least just screenshots of the raven pages or smth) the legends: shrike novella, and the short story shadow stalker. hes probably mentioned in some other stuff but as much as i want to hunt it all down because of my issues of the mind, i dont think i will be able to. coz its hard to find this stuff digitally and i dont rly wanna spend the money just to learn that hes mentioned like Once and its something i already know. i also wanna say im not like umm. well i wouldnt call myself new anymore but im definitely not like a 40k veteran. just laser focused on necrons, raven guard, and night lords. so if ive missed stuff or gotten something wrong then, u know. im getting thru stuff. i also thought abt ummm. posting screenshots of book stuff to back myself up but i dont know if thats. uhh. idk. is that too much. i dunno. i HAVE them and can get some other specific ones if anyone wants them. and obviously i can say what book theyre from and get the chapter number (not page number tho i read the chapters as big blocks rather than page by page)
anyway. the thing that sort of captured my attention at first abt him is his self destructive humility. or likeeee. almost what looks like a naked desire to die in battle, but not for personal honour or glory ('honour' as a concept in rg itself is honestly a very interesting topic to me anyway). hes just so driven and committed to the cause that if him dying to accomplish a goal or finish the mission is the easiest and most efficient way of doing that, then he thinks about it and commits to it and noone can talk him down. carefully considered recklessness is what i started calling it. he genuinely thinks about all the pros and cons and then does it anyway because his own life as the price is so easy for him to commit. and i think its super fun that hes aware of this shortcoming and its part of why he wants to find someone more suitable as chapter master (this is mentioned in the codex supplement). but SPECIFICALLY because the old master of shadows, severax, did a suicidal assassination attempt that failed and shrike looked at that and knew he wouldve done the same. because he has. in his novella. THREE times against the SAME ORK. and somehow just keeps Not Dying. silly guy... hes silly... i love him so much ToT i LIKE it about him because it feels so strange considering what hes normally like. hes hotheaded. hes highly motivated and driven and doesnt lose hope (again an interesting topic for rg coz of all the 'hope is pointless' stuff). ud think someone like that would have a rly strong drive to keep living and a survival instinct. and he does to some degree but the selflessness takes over or something. but a selflessness tht prioritises them all as an organisation? i mean this Should be normal for imperium anyway and it might be more common than im thinking, i honestly havent read a alot of imperium stuff coz i dont really care about it ! shrike to me is like 'hatred of the imperium leaving my body when i see a cute emoboy with weird issues in his head'. im a sucker for dudes that are quiet bt have that sort of burning passion inside and the fact that its entirely on the behalf of his brothers is too much. also its not totally related but something abt him in the supplement that i LOVED is an anecdote about imperial fists and iron hands having an argument over a tech relic powering a planets shields and shrike comes in and destroys it without either of them knowing so that theyre forced to stop arguing. its that simple logic. hes the type of guy that sees the shortest path to getting stuff done and just does it, regardless of the fallout. no overthinking or figuring stuff out slowly, u see an opportunity to solve a problem u take it right then and there. cut the bullshit i want you etc etc. i love this too in the novella coz even before hes promoted to captain hes arguing with his superiors about how they should keep going no matter the cost and take the shortest and most dangerous path. and another thing. he refuses every attempt at assigning him some honour or award or whatever and like u just KNOW its coz hes like 'well it wasnt me it was all of us together' or something. kayvaan 'i love my bros so much i could (and will) die' shrike
which i guess leads me to ummm. this part! similarities to corax. im STILL getting through horus heresy stuff but the more i read the more similarities i notice but theyre all like. weird picks. like i get that they probably wanted to make a chapter master that felt like corax, for multiple reasons, but they picked some Weird traits to carry over. like i dont think i would call corax hotheaded at all. hes very restrained and definitely does anger (especially when it involves the lycaeus-born ravens and the raptors) but hes too good at keeping a cap on it. to the point that i think this is ultimately his downfall. tho thats, personally speaking and im not like a Massive corax fan i just know him a little. im not staying over at his house for him. im getting chased out of his sons window in the morning instead. ...anyway. the point is that hes much more reserved and restrained. but because of that he also has the belief that there will come a time when hes able to withdraw and let someone else lead the ravens while he does... whatever he wants i guess? i havent seen it mentioned which is a shame coz it would change things a lot depending on what he intends to do. anyway this is mentioned in a lot of the things ive read with him actually. this is a trait he shares with shrike. but because of the differences in circumstance its connotation feels really different. like corax is a primarch, hes sort of marked out no matter what he does afterwards, and hes not rly like ummm. an arts and humanities guy like some of the others. on top of not even realising that hes reinforcing the tyranny that he fought to destroy on his own world. but thats a different topic entirely lol (one that i LIKE because i love tragic irony and the way he seems oblivious to it coz at the time he was so excited over meeting his new brothers (this is from deliverance lost)). anyway god that was a tangent, the POINT was that shrike also wants to give up his role and let someone else be master of shadows because hes too aware of how his recklessness isnt suitable for a leader at that level and has split the chapter up to hopefully have them all hardened and capable and able to take over for him. and then u just know hes gonna go back to trying to kill himself for the cause all the time until it finally sticks. shrike has that clear goal and hes picking the shortest path to it as usual. whereas corax broods a little more and maybe overthinks things. so its the same self awareness and the same wanting to withdraw from their positions but for totally different reasons, and i rly like the contrast. also its just Comical how corax has to tell his legionaries to simmer down and that "victory is its own revenge" instead of running off to kill some specific guys you hate. and then on the other side u have 'shadow captain maybe this isnt a good idea' 'shadow captain you will die' 'shadow captain ple-' and hes gone. hes already gone. hes jumping into his own death again. and shrike DOES HAVE corax's levelheadedness but theyre used to nefarious ends of him thinking about the stupid thing hes gonna do and then doing it anyway. hes using all of his traits from corax for silly things.
anyway sorry i think im done i might kill myself over the embarrassment of writing this later we'll see please dont laugh at me im a sensitive gay little emoboy and kayvaan shrike is my passion
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toonylooons · 1 month
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saviour carl stuff :33
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INFO DUMP WARNINNNG
i have more than this buttt im too lazy to get my sketchbook to get morr photos.
Anyways im about to infodump about this So fair warning something something
Okay so HERES a fanfiction i started and didnt finish cuz i cant write dialogue LOL AND HERE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS PLAYLIST....
anyways, the rest of this is gonna be so unorganised because i cant think like a normal person
I SEE NEGAN AND CARLS RELATIONSHIP IN THIS UNIVERSE TO BE SUPER FATHER-SON-Y of course its not gonna be perfect and its probably unhealthy to a ton of degrees but it is negan so u cant rlly expect all that much...
I think carl ends up clinging to negan after negan finds him because he is a scared 14 year old boy who basically just got out of a terrible situation emm :P yeah
also basically if u dont wanna read the fanfiction i linked umm the alternate universe starts at the destruction of the prison and carl gets split up from his family and stuff, and everyone and everything LOL and then he ends up with the claimers which obviously sucks ass he is with them for a few months (and it progressively gets worse as opposed to it immediately being awful and abusive or whatever) and then negan finds him blah blaj blah
ALSO HE LOST HIS EYES WHILE WITH THE CLAIMERS
I see carl in this universe being more like edgy and teenage angsty, he is almost """"sheltered"""" by the sanctuary and its very obvious negans personality has effected his own
ummm another thing is that carl is at all the pickups with the saviours aswell as the lineups because negan uses him as like a "wow even our weak members(children) are screwed the flip up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (because of his eye LOL)
Thanks random person on fanfciton.net for giving me this idea btw
IGNORE HOW IN SOME OF THE DRAWINGS HE STILL HAS HIS EYE i was being lazy about the eyepathc LOL
CARL also gets really desensitized to death and stuff, and he ends up doing some awful shit aswell
Carl is gay in this universe but he doesnt know this he thinks he likes girls LOL
when carl is at the alexandria pickup, he recognises his dad and daryl but neither of them recognise him because of how different he looks since having been 13 (the eyepatch and longer hair, also just doesnt have the same sort of aura about him if that makes sense)
he doesnt wear ricks hat at the lineups or the pickups, usually its in his backpack. HE ACTUALLY THINKS RICK AND EVERYONE IS DEAD and negan would def put it into carls head if he found out (about rick being carls dad) that rick abandoned him or soemthing
Yeah okay thanks for listening there is definitely more i am gonna add onto this later emmm thanks thaks thanks
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devilfic · 5 months
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hey bbg i dont wanna be that person but when's the next update for rprt coming😭😭
my internship only just ended this week and I’ve got finals all next week and graduation the next…. I haven’t had time to really touch the next chapter…. maybe once they hand me my master’s degree I can actually rest and think about. words
also pls remember the faq,,, I know I take a while to update but I don’t have specific dates and times in mind unless I make a post about it (and that’s usually after I’ve finished writing and/or editing),,, i write when i have time
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hunxi-after-hours · 4 months
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(paper anon) hunxi!! i know ur no longer active but it felt wrong to not give you this (probably final, since i dont wanna spam up your asks) update. first year of chinese finished!!! got the best % in my year for spoken chinese 🫡 written kicked my ass. next semester we have a class for reading literary texts and poems, i think you'd enjoy that haha. and also east asian general history!! all the fun stuff. its hard work but i love it. i hope you're also doing well and im sending you all the positive vibes :) <3
i know ur long non active on this hellsite (good for you!) but i just felt super nostalgic and wanted to send the ask anyway. im halfway done with my chinese degree and ive just finished translating an article about the statistics of tourism economy in china post modern reforms and its just. Huh. Huhhhh since when can i do that. (ive actually thought abt dropping out a lot.) i miss being as excited as i was in your ask box about studying this, but i think my love for chinese language is now a lot deeper, even without the pink glasses, now that i experienced first hand how fucking difficult studying it academically is. easier times dude. anw i hope ur well if u ever relog in and see this ^^^ (paper anon)
(checks time stamp, winces) ok so HOW WAS THE LITERARY TEXTS AND POEMS CLASS??? did the class skim through the literary tradition, or did you linger in any time period in particular? was it a Joy of Life episode 27 best hits of the chinese literary tradition kind of highlight reel? (ty for the excuse to rewatch this scene, I swear it gets funnier every time) and, most importantly — any favorites??
taking classes on chinese literature and poetry was honestly some of the most humbling and 劝退 uhhh disheartening classes to take... because then you really come face to face with the truly massive body of the tradition. what do you MEAN there are so many poets and they all reference each other. how am I supposed to catch up. how am I even supposed to summon the motivation to move forwards, knowing that I've 早就输在起跑线上
and like, I don't have a good answer — as someone who literally dropped out of the field upon graduation (I've flirted with the idea of going back to grad school but quite frankly I don't think it'd be worth it), I don't have any inspirational stories to tell about level-grinding my way up the Chinese tradition or overcoming academic hurdles to attain sagely academic enlightenment. I don't even know if such stories would be helpful, because each person's journey through the Chinese language learning experience/tradition is so unique and personal. all I can say is find that thing that you love, that spark that makes you come back for more, be it this one specific poet or this one archaeological collection, a particularly trashy webnovel or a niche music genre. find that something that sparks love for you, and hang onto it for dear life, because if that spark catches flame, it'll be the light that guides you toward the road that you're meant to walk
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suffarustuffaru · 7 months
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Do you have any advice for writing in the second person pov as well as advice about writing reinhard? I’m trying to write a second person pov fic from his perspective and I’m a bit lost?
yes i can do my best to give you advice!! :o hah im really flattered you thought to ask me on this? but yes i absolutely love both writing in second person (i havent written a whole finished fic in second person, but ive dabbled in it a few times, ive also started writing poetry on the side) and also of course i love reinhard!! im super super interested in the fact that youre doing a SECOND PERSON POV REINHARD FIC like woaaahhh hes definitely a fun character to choose pov wise and combining it with second person is genius. i really like it and would love to read it if you ever wanna share it when youre done <3
and yes quick disclaimer that im no professional writer but yes ill give my two cents!! and another disclaimer is that creative writing is a very individualized thing i think. theres no like one way to do things, and of course you can take any advice or criticism that youd like if you think itd help <3
ill get into second person pov first then talk more specifically about reinhard 👍
yes anyway tips on second person!! i do kinda recommend to like look at various examples of second person pov being used in various written pieces if thats something youd like to do - poetry and song lyrics use second person a LOT. especially songs, bc once you see it you cant really unsee it, i think? of course writing a narrative story is different from poetry and songwriting but it could help you give a frame of reference, or inspiration, or decide what you want to do and what you dont want to do. most importantly you could also look at other second person fics or published stories that are written in second person!!
and alright so - in general, second person is a very personal pov to choose in a way thats different from first person and third person. in first person and third person, theres still a degree of separation between the reader and the character the story is following. second person almost kind of removes that barrier bc of the use of "you" - the reader is being directly put into the character's shoes. as in, "you're" doing this, "you're" thinking this, etc etc. bc its such a personal pov, different readers might have different feelings about this (second person pov in fics is a pet peeve for some people for one reason or another), and youve committed yourself to writing second pov, you might as well go all in!! as a reader, i would be directly in that character's skin, basically, and i think its good to lean into the character youre writing especially with second person. bc theres even less separation between reader and character!! its kind of like the general pov advice of - who is this character, whats their personality like, what are they thinking, why should i care, etc etc. whats their inner world like? what is this telling me about their character?
another thing - you can choose between writing past or present tense of course, and the choice is up to you there, but i think present tense may fit second person pov more. with second person, youre directly addressing the reader for the entire story. theres a difference in urgency between "You gritted your teeth and fought off the attack" and "You grit your teeth and fight off the attack", i think. youre already putting your reader in such a personal position with the pov character - i think present tense might aid in it a lot more. another disclaimer that this is my opinion of course - but yes, i think that it also may be harder for people to suspend their disbelief with second person pov in certain circumstances. if i read past tense second person i might stop for one second and go "no, i did not grit my teeth and fight off some random attack in my past". in present tense i might be more likely to go "huh, yeah ig im fighting off this attack now. oh snap, hows this gonna go?"
of course, this isnt to say that you cant do past tense second person. as a second person pov fan i would absolutely eat up any second person fic regardless of the tense or not so long as your choice of tense stays consistent throughout the entire story (unless of course you have a good reason to change tenses mid-story). but i think that a good amount of second person works are in present tense, maybe for this very reason, unless the second person is combined with first person in like a song or something (basically every time the narrator of a song addresses the "you", like for example something like this sentence: "you broke up with me last summer"). or maybe the character is thinking about something they did in the past, so in reinhard's case it could look like "Remember when you killed your own grandmother all those months ago?" or something like that.
yeah, so - second person pov is a bit of a bold choice. it's inherently very personal and intimate. and i think theres also like the general advice of like - imo, don't use "you" too much. i know that sounds counterintuitive given this is second person pov hah but its kind of similar with something like first person - don't use "I" too much. and that also combines with the general advice of "vary your sentences". it can be awkward if every sentence has the same length and starts off the same way with the same rhythm, like this - "You go to the grocery store. You open the door. You step inside. You walk into the store."
(and quick disclaimer that if youre intending to go for that kind of monotonous sound for a part of/a lot of your story for various reasons, definitely go for it if its on purpose! i myself have done it a bit before to show a character kind of going through the motions, so to speak)
and with second person, absolutely utilize sentences or phrases or what have you that dont use "you" at all!! i think its called "implied" second person - stuff like "Look at that wall" or "Hand over that paper". so you can absolutely highlight second person pov without even using the word "you" at all and its also good to switch things up when youre writing to add a more "dynamic" quality to your work (and itll probably be fun for you to do if thats something youre into!!). so while narrative pronouns like this wont usually grate on your reader (bc we gotta use pronouns all the time for a reason, so using it a lot isnt a problem whatsoever and i highly doubt anyones gonna notice how much theyre used), definitely keep in mind not to overdo it at every turn, if that makes sense. its like the word "said" or "says" - hardly anyone is gonna notice it unless youre using it for Every Single Dialogue Line In A Row, but otherwise use it as much as you want.
getting creative with your sentence structure and the way you tell the story is important of course regardless of the pov youve chosen - and also hah sorry if that sounds really obvious but i do think its really important to remember!! :o second person may be different and less commonly used in narrative stories compared to first or third person, but some of the same rules are still gonna apply in a sense -
i think getting creative with sentences and description is even more important in second person. with first person and third person you can still have all these varying degrees of separation, especially with third person - there's like a "distant" third person that doesn't really go as far into the character's heads as much as "close" third person, where the entire third person narration can vaguely mimic the character's inner thoughts and feelings and worldviews.
second person, i think, from the get go, can mimic thoughts even more sometimes, if thats an angle you want to take - i mean have you ever like, had thoughts that were directed towards yourself or have you ever talked to yourself? or seen others do this? im talking about stuff like telling yourself "good job" or going "look what you did" at yourself in disappointment? theres also the "instructional" angle - a lot of instructions are written in second person, and a second person narrative can sound kinda like that just bc youre directly addressing your reader so much. it could definitely be fun to lean into all of this if you wanted - especially since youre writing reinhard (whos unfortunately brainwashed and conditioned to hell and back in every area of his life :<).
and second person is such a specific pov that i think you have to keep in mind why youre using second person. what is your intent in using this specific pov for this specific story? how is the story aided by your choice of pov? and i think its an extremely interesting choice for reinhard, who, as i said and as you definitely know - dudes got issues surrounding being controlled by the literal government and being pushed around!! hes a dog on a leash!! hes spent almost his whole life being ordered around everywhere, and on like, a human level maybe, hes one of the hardest people to understand.
bc yknow - reinhards dps of course give him this really unique perspective of the world. as we know, hes the FURTHEST thing for normal bc of his powers and they affect everything about his life - his relationships with other people of course but also how he perceives the world. hes perfect at Everything, he can do a whole long list of things that almost no one else can, he gets new powers every time he needs one for a given situation, he cant even fuck up telling salt from sugar, he cant lose any board game, etc etc dudes just powerless in Every Other Area of his life except for the long list of powers.
and yknow, bc of this and also trauma hes detached from others no matter how hard he tries to bridge that gap between him and other people. its why he wants to be normal so bad!! he wants friends and he likely wants freedom (why follow FELT of all royal candidates… he's 100% staked his family's redemption on her especially when you remember rom and the astrea's connection to the demihuman war, heinkel being rumored to kidnap a royal family member, reid, etc) but yknow. he cant get freedom so easily :(
which im sure you already knew all of this hah, tumblr user whygodwhy (amazing url btw) (im also saying this bc you seem like a big astrea fan as well and youve been around on rz tumblr from what i can see <3), but definitely great to keep in mind for your writing purposes bc a second person fic with (one of) THE most “inhuman” (heavy emphasis on the quotation marks here) character in rezero??? thats absolutely DIABOLICAL (complimentary) i love it. its an absolutely genius idea - we're really being pushed into understanding reinhard's perspective of having powers that make you kind of like a god. and then it makes everyone around you think youre a monster :(((
but yes like - reinhards character sets up the perfect foundation for a second person pov fic. like you can really get creative with how he experiences the world in ALL SORTS of extremely extremely off putting ways and therefore how we the reader experience REINHARD'S experiences. its super cool!!!
and i definitely think that its up to you on how you want to interpret reinhard - i think that generally even with fic authors who try to stick as closely to canon characterization as possible theres still a bit of variance you know? :o which i think is really fascinating!! especially when you take into account writing styles and all that, and especially when you take into account reinhard as a character.
atm he hasnt had a moment in rezero canon where we actually read from his pov and iirc its bc tappei said that reinhard just kinda knows Spoilery stuff? correct me if im wrong on that of course. and also iirc tappei also said that reinhard is Generally honest about what he says, so the way i see people (including myself...) write reinhard's pov matches pretty similarly with his outward self most of the time? but apart from that yknow interpret reinhard how youd like and if youre writing some sort of au or having him develop in a certain way (that isnt seen in canon), definitely go for it!! theres of course a fine balance between developing a character vs changing them to the point where it doesnt feel like the same character, but once you get to know that Base Characterization you can figure out how to go about developing them while still making them feel like themselves if thats something youre interested in!!
and for example, i think you could get creative with how using his powers looks like from his pov!! (some of which he just. doesnt think about in the sense that it just Happens - like that one dp he has where he just Knows where the exits of the building hes in are or that other dp where things thrown at him just automatically misses him.) or you know depending on what the plot for your fic is - how do you think he sees people like heinkel, wilhelm, subaru, etc, based on how he outwardly acts towards them? bc we havent seen reinhards exact pov yet in canon its kind of free real estate rn HAH and even then its fanfic, you can do what you want.
but yknow if you want to stick closer to canon, theres def the high probability that reinhard is usually honest about what he says (so his thoughts on things likely match up with what he says out loud about that exact thing). and in general if youre willing to and havent done so already i think you could check out more reinhards side stories and reinhards qnas from tappei. of course stuff like qnas you might have to take with a grain of salt (since its word of god and not always in the text yet) but you may see details that youd like to keep in mind or even use in your fic!!
and i think its good in general to make your own interpretation and know how you want to write reinhard based on that interpretation. i also recommend if you want to to maybe check out other reinhard pov fics to maybe find some inspiration or note how youd also want to interpret reinhards pov. you could note stuff like "hey, i like how this author describes how reinhards dp of empathy works" or "i like how matter of fact reinhards internal dialogue sounds here" - that sort of thing. but i definitely do think that if you want to be in character, definitely try to come to your own conclusions as well based on canon!!
as for other general advice, rereading or rewatching reinhard scenes may help you as well. i definitely recommend taking mental or physical (whether youre typing it up or writing it down physically) notes or something if that would help you. something that personally helps me (and you can do this if you want) is that every time im trying to learn a characters dialogue and how they usually speak is that i go to reread/rewatch a scene theyre in. i usually choose english dub if i can since im writing in english and then i just note down stuff like what kind of words they use, what reoccurring words or phrases do they use a lot, etc etc. so if youre struggling with dialogue or something, this is something you could try!!
reinhard does speak a little professionally/formally, with a little emotional distance, if that makes sense (i think the most obvious example is him Sounding too composed after dying and coming back in arc 5?). like the dude sounds like hes in customer service mode Near Constantly, if that also makes sense (....well he IS the sword saint HAH), even if hes actually upset about something. i think one of the biggest cracks in his customer service facade though is when hes either quietly depressed in front of his family or when he gets upset about the arc 3 julisuba duel (like he actually RAISES HIS VOICE A BIT and is obviously upset when talking to subaru after the duel. literally insane). also ofc when hes in serious "damn i guess you gotta die" mode :(
but yes i think that reinhard speaks formally but he tries to be way more casual about it yknow? julius is the one whos more flowery, that pretentious prick!!! (affectionate) (read this line in a subaru voice). reinhard will be like "hello, it's nice to meet you :) oh, please, call me reinhard :)))) no need for honorifics, we are friends here :)))) (pls treat me like a normal person ahahahah im begging you) (we're friends right? pls be my friend. pretty pls. im begging -)" and julius will be like "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." bc hes flowery <33 a slight purple prose thats as purple as his hair (affectionate)
and yep as for internal dialogue, again, you can interpret how reinhard would think in a lot of different ways and its up to you on how you want to explore him and what we know of him from canon so far!!
and you know, a lot of writing is just a lot of practice, and i guarantee you that the more you write a character the more comfortable youll get!! speaking as someone who has done so much writing in private to get comfortable with writing dialogue for people like otto or reinhard or subaru (and even then i still try really hard to adjust if i feel theyre getting out of character hah, theyre still hard to write fr :<). so yeah i def recommend to you know just give your best go at it and have fun while you do!! you can always go back and edit and if you need a betareader or smth you can def ask around. i would be down if you needed one!!
also i did write a small little blurb if you want an example of combining how to write second pov and how to write reinhard :O !! i do think that every writer is different of course but i just wanted to leave an example just in case itd help you!! i Think this is well written enough for example purposes hah:
Remember when you killed your grandmother all those months ago? Fist through her chest, familial blood splattering all over your only family. As her body falls limp, Grandfather catches her right when she’s gasping out her last words and turning to dust like the ash left in the wake of when you first killed her years ago.
The only difference is that it was a necessary evil this time.
yep so - in conclusion, fuck around (research various things if you need to) and find out (practice and have fun) <333 i hope this helps and feel free to reach out if you ever wanna ask more stuff :o !!
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c0smiccom3t · 1 year
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Dimension Dyfenders Update!! (9/20/23)
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HEY, HEY, it's September! You know what that means! (read the above)
Hello D.D fandom, hello followers, mutuals, friends and hello people who curiously stumbled upon this post. You all know who i am, but for those who don't, let me introduce myself. My name's Comet. I'm the co-creator and main artist in the indie webcomic series Dimension Dyfenders! As of right now, i'm attending art school and trying my best to work more on the webcomic while also attending on my studies and get better grades. Now, you might ask, "Comet, what's going on with this series now?", "Why haven't been there more pocket adventures minisode 1 parts lately?" Well, i got the answers right here! First of all, let's start with the most obvious one... The Pocket Adventures situation.
Now, Pocket Adventures hasnt been online as of late, no next parts were being published, and im very sorry for that. The cause for it is the loss of motivation i had, which made me not work on it for a long while. Even when making new panels i feel extremely tired. Feeling like i should do something else (heck, i feel insecure about its panels when i draw them!) But fret not, that doesn't mean Pocket Adventures is getting cancelled. We still have loads of plans on the table and we can't wait to roll them out. But for now, we're taking a break due to IRL situations for example, art school. We, the team, have lives outside of making d.d content. We need to get our degrees and, well, try to survive life. But no worries, because I got plans to get back on D.D P.A Minisode 1 and finish it completely once winter break hits. As long as my motivation gets out of its hibernation phase. But still, i can't wait for you all to see the conclusion to minisode 1. (I just hope you dont mind if i jump right into the 'new designs' in the next pages)
Speaking of minisodes, I've been thinking of releasing minisodes only once a year than every saturday. Though this decision is not final yet. I don't want clout, in fact, i just wanna do what I love. Create stories and comics for everybody to enjoy. But if you guys would love for a minisode to release once a year or once in 3 months, let me know your opinions! Your criticism helps this series, especially its production, grow better!
Now, for the second and final question you may have asked… Thing is, Nothing has changed! But well, if you know me on my social media for my recent Crash Bandicoot fanart, then you might notice that Crash 4: It's About Time, especially it's artbook (and concept art by Nicola Saviori)... Has affected my artstyle, DRASTICALLY. So. The characters, of course, have went through some changes. I'd like to call this new artstyle... "The TFB Effect". As a matter of fact, Dimension Dyfenders (both its miniseries and full series) is going to have a brand new, more cartoony, zanier than ever artstyle! Don't believe me? See for yourselves. Starting with the main ones!
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I decided to add a little bit of the good ol' Squash and Stretch to the characters to make them stand out more in the next comics. So of course, some of the colors have changed, especially designs and bodytypes. Oh, and not just that, our heroes have some new stuff, too! For example: Knockout's Dyfender Element is now refered as "Quantum Strenght", Paintdrop's is called "Cosmic Creativity" and Speedrunner's is called "Light Speed". Neat upgrades, eh? (Still, criticism is accepted.) Anyway, notice that in the first picture above there's something that says: "Dyfender Mode", right? Well, if you see that, that's because we are introducing something brand new to our heroes. Called: Omni-modes.
Now, "what are Omni-modes?", you may ask? Well, Omni-modes are modes that are set on the Dyfenders' Dy-watches, you may see that the Omni-Modes are, of course, the Dyfenders' alternate hero forms, to help them take on a mission in a different, more suitable form. When the day needs to be saved during night time (and rarely past bedtime), they activate Night Mode. For sunny beach days but still wanting to make sure nobody figures out their secret identities, Acqua Mode will be at their service. There are tons of different Omni-Modes to be shown (Especially, Pride mode, which was shown on this year's pride post.) So, yeah. Omni-modes will be shown in both the miniseries AND the full series!
Oh! And refering to characters, we can't forget about our main bad guys! Oh, you know, the Dajo-Crew? They got a bit of a make over to fit to the current artstyle! (ft. the updated height chart):
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Now that we got that out of the way. let's just head over what will the future of the series look like as of right now. Starting off with the full series and pocket adventures. As said before, Dimension Dyfenders' artstyle changed. But that doesn't mean everything changed, things may be different (the more cartoony artstyle and the sillier tone), but nothing about the series has changed! And that means..
MORE POCKET ADVENTURES IS HAPPENING, THAT'S RIGHT! MORE D.D CONTENT COMING THIS WAY!
As for right now, D.D Minisode 1 may still be in development as we speak, but one thing that's completed right now is the script! Now that its finally finished, all thats left, is the panel and comic page-making (hopefully you wont mind the sudden character design changes, though.)! But in the meantime! We got some sneak peaks for not just one of the panels from the next minisode 1 pages, but also a never-seen before panel from the next minisodes of pocket adventures! (notice: some of these are not final and may change in the final product.)
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That's not all! this franchise has got some new stuff coming in during it's run. We got so many plans, but this is the only thing we can show about said plans:
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As you can see, you're gonna see some new characters in pocket adventures. While in the full series, you'll get some new characters too. Except... New baddies will be only in the full series, while in the miniseries then later in the animated series... You'll get to meet some new allies! So, keep your eyes peeled for them! And we hope you like them as much as we do.
Now, D.D has never shown a sign of stopping, even during hiatuses, so im happy to announce that more Pocket Adventures will be on their way after Minisode 1 has completed production! We're thinking of putting the upload dates on hold (which means, minisode 2 is delayed until further notice, sorry guys.). So please be patient when waiting for new minisodes.
And speaking of patience... I think I got a little something to keep you guys busy with while you wait... Introducing…
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DIMENSION DYFENDERS TOONIES!
Now, you may be wondering: "What is THIS?" D.D.T (Dimension Dyfenders Toonies for long), is a brand new miniseries of comic strips that comes out during the weekends. (Starting in October, the end of september, or during the holiday season! No promises, though.) It's a little something i can make up while you guys wait for the next Pocket Adventures Minisodes. Oh yeah, here's one of the cover for it, too! It's not much, but i know you guys would go NUTS for it:
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This will be about how the Dyfenders handle their superhero and school lives in everyday situations. (No worries, the action isn't gone. There might be some strips about school, but there will be more strips about their superhero lives, guarantee!). It's also about what The Dajo-Crew does when they aren't invading dimensions, get into some shenanigans at the castle and also when they plot evil schemes. some strips will be either original with a new short story or a recreation of old strips from phase 1 (not a final decision of course, but you can tell us if you like this idea)! One thing to point out is that some of the strips might take place before some minisodes, now thats another thing to notice, right? And that's the only "spoiler" I can give. So, sorry, no more! OH! And for any of you voice actors reading this who are like: "Wow, i wonder when this series will get a comic dub / animated series. If i'm lucky enough i might be able to voice act for it!" … Boy, do we have a treat for you all. Which will be posted in a few hours. both on bird app, bluesky, insta and on here!  The only thing I have to announce is that during the d.d stuff's production and during art school, i'm not gonna be online on social media. (until during normal/long weekends and festive days.), but no worries, the series is still alive and kicking, even when there aren't posts about it for a few months! Though, in some days, i'll be able to make and share some art for it! You're all in for a wild ride for these months and for 2024! Oh, and about Dajo's account. I'm planning to bring it back. But, Dajo is currently busy conquering Dimensions, but I can assure he hasn't abandoned Sinstagram completely. You'll see more of his influencer side, too. Both in his Sinstagram and in the upcoming strips! (And perhaps in some mini– OOPS! TOO MUCH!) That's all for now! Thank you all for your support on the series, don't forget to share your fan creations of the series in DMs or tag me and the team in your masterpieces, share it with your family and friends, subscribe to the series on Comicfury, and follow me on Tumblr, bluesky, bird app and Instagram if you wish to support the project even outside of comicfury! Once again, thank you all in this slowly-growing small fandom for all of your support, and i hope you're all excited for what's to come! If you have any questions, please drop them on my tumblr askbox, Which i'll be able to answer during the weekends. That's all, back to the offline study and sleep abyss for me. GOODBYE!
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