#but studying is all i know and everytime im reminded that im closer and closer to finishing it i get terrified bcs i rlly feel like im not

[bixiaoshi]

.

[thelov3lybookworm]

White Roses And Lies.

Summary: Rhysand and Y/n realise they might not make it to starfall. They make the most of what they have to celebrate.

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A/n: im convinced rhysie poo is going to murder me because all the fics i have ever written for him are sad 😇

Anyways, this is a lil smth for the third prompt for @starfallweek

(also you can all fault @thehighladywrites for making me hurt rhysie poo because she picked him to be hurt)

Enjoy!

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Y/n glanced up from where she was picking chamomile from the wild bushes in her backyard, her eyes squinting to make out the shape materialising out of nowhere.

"Rhys? Is that you?"

No sooner had the words left her lips that he appeared fully, stumbling forward.

A wide smile split her lips, and she moved too, just happy to see her lover.

It was just one moment before the two of them were wrapped in each other's embrace, but it was enough for Y/n to realise that he did not have the big smile he usually had on when he met Y/n.

He looked haggard, like he hadn't slept or eaten in decades, but what scared Y/n more was the fact that those were tear stains on his cheeks.

He crushed her to his chest, his arms wrapped so tight around her it was hard to breathe. Concerned, Y/n tried to push away from Rhys.

He wouldn't let go.

"They're hunting us." Rhys spoke directly into Y/n ear, pressing his face into her hair.

Y/n froze, her struggle to breathe now forgotten.

"W-what?"

If possible, he pulled her even closer. "My father. He told his courtiers to hunt us. You and me."

All of a sudden, it all clicked for Y/n.

She didn't even bother to pull away from him and ask for an explanation then. She just wrapped her arms around him, and let her head rest on his shoulder, under his jaw.

After all, she knew low born fae and high fae, especially a high lord's heir, were never supposed to even talk, let alone be involved.

She'd always known it was all a moment's bliss, but who could have faulted her for having hope?

"We were always doomed." She mumbled into the expensive fabric of his shirt, a tear escaping her left eye and staining the fine material.

She felt Rhys shaking his head against her, and her heart clenched when a torturous sob ripped out of him.

"Why Y/n?" He questioned, his voice wobbling and choked with tears. "Why us?"

She said nothing, because there was nothing to say. She simply rubbed his back, and let him cry.

"Why couldn't we have been an example that the class system was bullshit? Why could I not have had a better father? Why could I not have been born as a lower fae-"

"Rhys."

"Why did he find out about it? Why-"

"Rhys-"

"Why hasn't he fucking died yet? Why-"

"RHYS!"

He stopped then, stiffening a little.

"Rhys please." Y/n's voice broke, and he finally loosened his hold on her. She quickly drew in a deep breath, her first full one since Rhys had showed up, and looked up at him.

She did not let go of him, but leaned back so she could see him better.

"Its starfall." She smiled a little as she spoke, but apparently that was the wrong thing to say, as another tear escaped those eyes that had captivated her since the moment hers had met them.

"Exactly. I was planning on sneaking away to meet you once the stars started making the journey, and he found me. He broke my mental walls, and he found out."

Y/n swallowed, looking around for anything to help her. She found a flower staring back at her.

A white rose.

The white rose he had gifted her once he had started courting her, one she had decided to plant.

Quietly, she untangled herself from Rhys and walked over to study it. He followed her like she knew he would.

"Do you remember when you first gave me this rose?"

A smile bloomed on his face just like everytime she reminded him of that day. "I can never forget it."

Her face split too at the sight of his happy face. "Me neither."

He stared a the flower a moment longer, then turned to her, the look on his face knowing. "You're trying to distract me, aren't you?"

She grinned sheepishly. "I mean, whatever works, right?"

He laughed, the sound wet and full of sorrow, yet so full of joy as he sat back, his arms coming to rest on his raised knees.

"Y/n... I hope you know I love you. That no matter what tomorrow holds for us, whether they do hunt us down, I will love you forever. Even when I'm nothing but bones and dust in the wind, I'll be yours."

Y/n had to look away at that in order to stop herself from breaking down.

"I do. I love you too Rhys, more than you can know. More than words are capable of expressing."

Rhys glanced up, towards the clear sky, just as a star shot past.

His eyes lit up. "Look!"

Y/n followed his gaze, nodding and laughing at the childlike glee in his voice.

"Starfall has begun." Y/n mumbled, laying her head on his shoulder.

Suddenly, his demeanour changed. "This could be our last starfall."

Y/n sighed. "So let's enjoy it Rhys."

She knew he had a retort at the tip of his tongue, so she pulled away, meeting his eyes as she began pushing him to the dirt so he would lay down.

"It's our last starfall Rhys, so let us enjoy it." She stared at his eyes intensely to make sure he understood. "Hmm?"

He nodded, and she smiled again, laying down next to him, uncaring that her clothes were getting dirty as she lay her head on his chest.

His heartbeat was calm, so at odds with the erratic rhythm it had beat when he arrived.

And so, there, in the middle of nowhere, on the hard ground in front of Y/n's small hut, under the star filled sky, Y/n got lost in the soft sounds of Rhys's breathing.

And sure, those were the sounds of warriors and fae males who served the high lord coming closer, and those were definitely the barks of the hunting hounds, but here, nothing existed other than Y/n and her lover.

Not an heir, not a high born fae. Not a low born fae, not the scum stuck under the boot of the higher ups.

Just him, and her.

And as she felt his presence in her mind, grabbing hold of her conscious, she smiled and closed her eyes- the white rose twinkling in the light like an enchantment her last sight, a testament to their love- content and satisfied despite the unexpected and quick end to their story.

Go to sleep my love. I'll be there when you wake up.

Y/n didn't point out that she knew it was a lie, for right now, that was all she needed as she lost herself.

Lost herself in the sound of his voice in her mind, his scent in her lungs and his love in her heart.

•○🌑○•

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady

@artists-ally @riddlesb1tch @clairebear08 @thehighladywrites @berryzxx

[canaidliafail]

stay grounded pt.5

[part 6]

streamer abby x streamer reader 🌿

so I wanted to write all of Abbys visit to “reader” in one episode but this one is already 5k words and its getting stupid long so..I split it in two parts 🥹

CW: alcohol,weed and sexual endeavours if you will. not proof read, will check later tonight for any mistakes

Minors get outta here

“You’ll love it when I give it to you, leave you wanting more ,Is it everything and more than you were hoping for ?”

_____________

ever since Abby sent you a screenshot of her flight you were on edge. You promised to pick her up from the airport which just meant that you would be there to take her to the bus stop. She did of course tease you for your lack of driver's license and motivation to get it but she did appreciate the gesture nevertheless. However you were scared. You had a bad dating history, an even worse situationship one and you didn’t even want to get into all the people you had to reject during your trips or the other way around. point being, you found yourself ready to light a candle and apologize for all your sins so that karma wouldn't bite you in the ass. Abby, gave you no reason to have that fear. Sure you didn’t text as much as you thought you would but the times that you did she seemed excited and she would occasionally send you screenshots of places she would like to see or would ask for advice on what clothes to bring. Overall, she was nice and seemed to grow closer if her joking manner and her more sarcastic side coming to the light was anything to go by.

you thought of asking

“you smoke weed?” to be ready but decided against it. You always had it anyways and if she were up for a round you’d just roll one on the spot. Abby wasn’t your only issue. This semester at your university was a constant, painful reminder that you were about to graduate with the difficulty level of all the assignments and projects. Now, you were a great student in practice but a terrible one in attendance. It was hard balancing work, mental breakdowns and college.

On your third fitting on the model your college provided you were ready to tear the fabric to shreds and start going off on everyone. You could understand why designers had a reputation for having a nasty attitude but if said designers were having their models switched every week, thus needing different measurements everytime you wouldn’t blame them.

“For fucks sake Im working on a line 44, why cant they just stick to the same model”

“Well this isn’t our graduation project so they are more relaxed”

“well I'm not and they shouldn’t be either” you argued with one poor classmate who dared to calm you down, oblivious to your temper that was impossible to tame.

this was why you refused to have models. In any case, your daily disapproval of your school's teaching system was something that didn’t bother you to that big of an extent. You disliked the way you acted though. You were snarky, impatient and took offense easier than usual and you couldn’t exactly understand why,so one late evening after fighting with everyone that knows you and doesn’t , you sat down on your couch and tried to find which unhealed version of you was getting triggered and why. Half an hour later you gave up and went to make a toast. Your friend group had 5 solid people. June, your most faithful cheerleader to every stupid decision you ever took and the one who also helped you go through with it, Cassie, the most blunt one who brought you back to reality, Rick, She was too sweet and too in love with her slow burn romance of 3 years and last, Olga.

She rarely appeared due to studying in a different city but when you needed someone to figure you out, she was the only one who could get you out of your head.

Most people had a friend like that. Someone that you talked to the least, yet knew you the best and perhaps, had the most intimate and platonic bond to ever exist. So that night, was a cry for help and luckily, Olga was in town and on her way to your place. She came ready, with a bottle of vodka on one hand and a fresh bag of tobacco on the other.

“Im listening”

she said sitting with her legs crossed on the floor across from you. she was about to burn sage and make a tarot spread if need be

“Alright listen so nothing happened but, I'm scared. I feel…weird. See this is a person that I've admired for so long and it’s only hitting me now that I’m about to meet her and its…it's scary actually”

Olga sat through it all and listened to you ramble for hours and pace all over the living room until you exhausted yourself and finally sat back down on the floor and started rolling a cigarette. You were stressed and out of nowhere your eyes were burning and you were crying and Olga was silent through it all. She grabbed you a new rolling paper and passed it over since the previous one got crumpled from your tears.

It took you an hour to completely calm down and then, she finally began to talk

“Listen it’s understandable that you feel that way, She was after all someone you admired for a while and well, it's not like you don't fool around with others but she was always in your mind”

You nod feeling the weighty clawed hands of depression wrap around your throat threatening another crying session that you had to fight back

“And between us, the last time you took anyone seriously it didn't go so well”

“It really fucking didnt” you agreed and she nod. You finished rolling the blunt and took a few puffs

“Alright now that that’s out of the way let's talk reality. Abby will visit you in a week. She is almost in every one of your streams and sure she posts with other women which in my opinion are just her friends,but she also constantly mentions you in her own streams”

You tried to protest and counter argue every reasonable point she made but she sushed you right a way with a glare

“Which has to mean something. Now I know your favorite hobby is downgrading every positive trait you have but Ill have to stop you”

“I really want this to work”

“And it will. Just be yourself,relax and smoke another blunt if you have to but trust me. It will work. It has worked so far and well, what are the odds of that in the first place?”

You smiled. A small smile but enough to show her that her point was understood. You rested your back against the front of your couch and checked your phone. There was a message there from Abby and you let the warmth and excitement that you felt imprint in your mind as a way to soothe your nerves till her arrival.

____________

“Just landed. Waiting for the luggage” you read the message over and over again and then looked up at the gate and saw the people walk out and look around for whoever was waiting for them. You tried to bite down the stupid grin on your face and tried your best to school your features in an unbothered-laid back expression to no avail. You were practically bouncing off the walls and scratching the curtains like a cat.

Abby was here,in your country,in your city a few walls apart. Literally.

You were ashamed to admit that you had practiced different ways to greet her and would constantly switch the position you sat in, not sure what energy you were trying to show. You were man spreading, and then you would cross your legs, and then you would stand up and lean against the bar tables from the cafeteria.

“Get it together” You whispered to yourself and just locked and unlocked your phone pretending to be busy.

One moment you were looking at an old video of you and June attempting a stunt and the other you were looking back up at the gate and the woman of your dreams was actually there. Walking and looking at her phone and then around until she spotted you.

She smiled, wide with teeth and wrinkles at the edge of her eyes and you waved her over. You half ran half walked over to her side and unexpectedly-for you- she hugged you.

“Hey!”

She smelled like pine soap and there was a lingering scent of the outside cold on her jacket. You wrapped your arms around her and felt her weight, her muscles and tried to connect with the very real image that she was right in front of you. She was tall and broad, and fuck so damn gorgeous. You pulled away at the same time and you couldn’t hold back returning the equally big smile that she gave you as her eyes darted all over your frame and face

“Wow hi,this is-“

“Crazy right? Can’t believe I’m actually here”

“Yeah! So how was your flight?” This was comfortable. She was comforting and just,so much easier to talk to than you initially expected. Her voice was lower up close and she wasn’t someone who talked loudly. She was expressive and,and,and

So many things you couldn’t stop noticing and observing about her in pure admiration. You feared that seeing her up close would give you a change of heart and you were so off base because if it did one thing, it was to confirm that you absolutely had a crush on this woman. It was a 40 minute ride till your apartment with the bus and once you reached your destination she visibly seemed to rest her shoulders and lean against the wall taking off her boots and beanie. You hated how attractive she was while doing the most mundane things

“You got a nice place. Can’t believe I’m finally witnessing what's behind the cameras of Cottons studio”

“Hah! If I didn't know you any better I’d say you’re making fun of me”

“I’m absolutely not” she teased and you helped her with her luggage

“So,normally when I have a guest they sleep with me in my room but I didn't know what you were comfortable with so I prepared the couch for you to sleep in as well”

“Ah I don't mind. Thanks”

She said and you assumed she would take the couch but to your horror and relief she left her bags in your bedroom. Which meant you two would share the same bed for the two weeks of her stay.

“Ugh,cool so ok” you looked around nervous and then slammed your hands together in a hollow clap.

“Alright so, let me show you my place first” she walked close behind you as you showed her how everything worked which made it difficult to even walk properly.

I should have trained my walk or something.

You thought in misery as you stood in the corridor showing her your crafting room. She stepped in around you to look at the clothes on the mannequins. You could’ve sworn that there were stars in her eyes when she know the full knight armor that you proudly displayed.

“Fuck I saw this on twitter but Damn you outdid yourself. All these details and”

“Its rococo architecture”

“I noticed.You add details like that to every piece you make. Oh right you also made a white dress that I really wanted to see up close”

“Oh that!” You chirped excited and walked over to the wardrobe on the other side of the room to find the piece. It was from your first year and it was the first clean work you did. The sewing was straight and not a line out of place. You showed it to her and then sat on the thought. That was a fairly old post. How far did she…

“Yeah that one. Its even prettier up close. Sorry I don’t know much about fabrics and all that but from the little that I know this looks amazing”

You were fiddling with your fingers and let her admire all your pieces occasionally adding some commentary about the construction or the inspiration. She showed genuine interest in this and you didn't know how to deal with someone this nice.

“I could make you one if you want” She stared at you wide eyed with a grin and lowered brows “You’d do all of that” she said and placed a hand on the shoulder piece of the knight armor “For me?” You shrugged and walked out of the room to grab your measuring tape that was in the kitchen aisle for unknown reasons. You stopped in front of your workshop's entrance and tried to reach up and see how big the breastplate would be for starters.A soft chuckle escaped her and your eyes shot up to look at her.

“Yes? Abigail?”

She gave you a crooked smile and licked her teeth “You are really short” You would have choked on your spit if your throat wasn't so dry. Was this her way of hitting on you?

“I think your judgement isn’t trustworthy since you are just unreasonably tall. My measuring tape won’t fit the whole of you”

She reached up and rested her hands against the door frame and leaned a little closer to you. Close enough to spike up your heart rate to a dangerous pace.

“Is that not to your liking?”

And in this moment, You hated every girlish bone in your body for smacking her lightly in the sternum and laughing all the way through that embarrassing gesture.

What.was.that.

“You are insufferable” she smiled and pushed herself away. That would sum up any notable moments in your first day with Abby. You did talk a bit and made a quick and general schedule of what you could do while she was here all the while she kept glancing around at your room and you decor while you rested on your couch

“You have a lot of stuff”

“Oh yeah empty spaces freak me out”

She nodded in contemplation

“I like it. My apartment has like, a lot less stuff”

You leaned on your arm and smiled,lazy and pleased with the atmosphere

“Why? Afraid Alice will make a mess?”

“No I know how to keep my pets well trained”

Your cheeks flushed and you reached on your coffee tables drawer to pull out your tobacco and roll a cigarette cause you were getting heated up out of nowhere and you were about to share a bed

“O-oh of course. Then…?”

“I don’t know, I just never bothered I guess? I have a lot of plants though. You’ll see, but yeah I just don't know what decor to go far”

Your mind paused mid sentence. -you will see-

Was that an invite ? You smiled and Lit your cigarette sitting back on the couch in awe of how well the first night went

___________

That night. You simply did not sleep. Your plan seemed genius a few hours ago, but Abby was happily resting in your bed while you played Valhalla,the wrath of the Druids DLC for the second time fighting to stay awake.

Abby Anderson,was sleeping in your bed. You smiled every time you remembered that and then you were ready to cry thinking of the possibility that this would be just a friendship. You texted your friends that had been blowing up your group chat since yesterday.

She is sleeping in my bed right now

Cassie: YOU HOOKED UP ??? GET IT GIRL

No, she is JUST sleeping. I’m up. In my living room playing valhalla

Couldn’t sleep like at all

june: why the fuck didnt you sleep in the same bed?!?!?! Out of all times NOW you remember to have shame ??

THATS NOT

SHIT SHE IS UP EVERYONE QUIET

june: PUSSYYYYYYYU

You tossed your phone on the couch and looked up at Abby in all her morning freshly woken up glory. You gasped quietly at the sight of her unbraided long hair. she wore gray sweatpants and a sleeveless top that showed off her biceps and the sunlight licked the curves of her arms in the most delightful way

“Good morning” you croaked and tried to clear your throat and repeated the greeting more smoothly. she chuckled and sat next to you on the couch

“did you sleep at all?” you shook your head and paused the game

“sorry it got so interesting and then next thing I know birds are chirping” she shook her head and looked at the screen which gave you an opening to look at her

“Then please continue. Need to know who Im competing against for your attention”

you grinned and shook your head trying to ignore her move cause it was too early to handle this version of Abby.

“No, it's fine. Wanna get coffee? my treat”

“sure” she said and you grabbed your phone going to an app and browsing through the open cafes

“you want something for breakfast?”

she leaned against you and peaked at your phone looking through the stores. Your breathing slowed and you felt the hair on your arms raise at the contact that her chin made with your shoulder. You stayed still scared that if you moved she would have pulled away

“I wouldn’t be against that. What do you usually have?”

“W-well. Im european so, a cigarette with coffee”

she looked at you in shock and then broke down in laughter pulling away and getting up with you unconsciously leaning over the spot where she was seconds ago missing her touch already.

“Yeah I’ve seen that meme going around. So it really is a thing” you smiled at her

“mmmm you know me so well”

“Well I hope I do” she teased and went to the bathroom to fix herself up leaving you breathless and a nervous wreck. Did you miss something ? Because it seemed like she was heavily flirting with you and you only now realized how bold she could actually be.

_________

Rick: I Cant wait to meet herrrr <333333

June:I’m so happy you are having fun but if she doesn’t pass the vibe check I’m breaking her kneecaps

Relax! I promise she is really cool.

Olga: what time are we meeting up ?

11 at our usual spot. We will go in together

Abby was laying on your couch going through her phone waiting for you to tell her the plan for the night. She did touch on the fact that despite the influencer parties she was not familiar with the clubbing scene. Not like you seemed to be at least and while at first you insisted that you didn't have to go, she really insisted on doing otherwise. So now you were getting ready and once you were dressed you sat on your vanity and noticed from the mirror that she was watching you. You smiled

“Hey want me to do your makeup?”

She tensed and walked over to you and sat across your vanity on the bed,manspreading and leaning on her elbows which unconsciously made you squeeze your thighs shut and you could feel the tip of your ears burn.

“I’d like that. But ugh,nothing too heavy?”

She asked and you chuckled going back to putting on eyeshadow

“Don’t worry sunshine. Ill do you right”

“Ooooh will you?”

You felt the hair on your arms raise and you looked back at her who had a nasty smirk full of innuendos and you cocked a brow deciding to take on the challenge

“You have no idea”

And that was the first time you saw her get flustered in the most subtle of ways. Reaching around her neck to rub her nape and not looking at you the moment you saw a dust of pink on her nose and cheeks. This was your first little victory.

You were done with your makeup soon enough considering you had a standard go to makeup that you just knew complimented your features the best and then you turned around to start attending to her.

You grabbed a base, a mascara and your eyeliner pomade and stood up to tower over her while doing her makeup.

“Alright relax big girl, I’m not going to hurt you” you said teasingly when you saw how stressfully shut she had her eyes and she breathed out letting a laugh escape and releasing the tension

“Sorry. Not used to this happening”

“That makes me feel so fucking special” she chuckled and then tried to stop when she felt move on your hands starting to do their work.

“You have beautiful features, you know. Bet you’ve been on many MUAs eyes”

“Stop,you’re just flattering me now”

“Absolutely not. I hate doing peoples makeup and yet I wanna do yours”

You tried applying very little foundation, loving the map of constellations the freckles on her face formed and had a desire to accentuate them more by working around them.

Without realizing you moved closer to her standing between her spread thighs, your naked knee grazing her jeans. She carefully moved a hand behind it and gently held your leg which you tried not to think too much about. That was until you felt her thumb brush against the tender flesh of your skin. Slow and subtle and so careful, almost like a wolf trying to lure in a deer. You kept working with her face and when it came to doing her eyeliner you had to be steadier. So you moved closer, balancing your knee on the edge of the bed between her legs, her hand following the movement all the way through until her palm was now resting just a few inches below your ass given that now the only empty space was your thigh.

You were shaking

“Sorry Ill have to hold your face so that I don't mess up”

“Yeah go ahead”

She said a little more rattled than you expected her to sound and you held her cheek while drawing a thin,small brown line. You finished up with the mascara and had to resist testing your luck by suggesting lipstick.

“There. Done”

She opened her eyes and you stared at each other with your lips parted for a few minutes as the realization of your proximity hit. You pulled away first and motioned her over to your mirror which she had to heavily bend over to look at her reflection and she smiled

“Oh wow yeah, You are good. Never thought I’d see myself like that”

Your hands were shaking and you were starting to get anxious. Badly. Your mind wandered off to the fear that you just missed a very good opportunity and you seriously needed weed or a drink

“Alright we are ready to get going then”

Abby hit it off with your friends right away. Not that you ever had doubts but you could never be too sure. Rick, the sweetheart, was obviously just incredibly happy to see you with “the buff mommy of your dreams” as she whispered to you before you walked into the club which earned her a slap on the arm to hush her. The night was going well, save for the first hour of awkwardness before the shots started coming in and the good songs were being put on. You danced and when your favorite song came you and June grabbed each other by the arms and screamed the lyrics at the top of your lungs. You were so lost in the moment that you completely forgot how you looked and when you turned around to check on Abby there was nothing but awe in her face. No hint of disgust or discomfort or second hand embarrassment as you feared you would find. No, if anything she seemed to love whatever was unfolding before her eyes and she leaned back to sit on a stool and crossed her arms with a smirk looking smug. You walked over to her and too drunk to care propped your hands on her thigh and leaned in close to her ear

“Are you having fun?”

An arm reached out around you and rested on your lower back which gave you shivers. Your dress was backless and short which normally would make you feel cold but Abby's touch made it feel like it was hot summer night

“Oh yeah this is great. You are a good dancer”

You laughed drunk and high with music euphoria and held her arm you fingers pushing into the muscles in delight and tried to get her stand up

“Then dance with me”

Dragging her was pointless. Like a mountain Abby would not move and could not be swayed. But she did seem to enjoy your determined efforts to get her to do what you wanted so she indulged you while teasing your every move and reaching out to take a sip from her drink.

“You are so stubborn” You mumbled and she leaned in closer asking you to repeat the question the same moment that a girl bumped into you and in motion you fell on Abby. Gravity failed you both as her drink spilled all over your dress sparing her jeans and shirt which made you frown and groan in frustration.

The girl turned around to look at you in embarrassment and immediately held your hand

“I’m so sorry fuck let me help you clean up” she said frantic and your face softened immediately at her remorseful behavior. Your dress was most certainly ruined though. Abby stood up pushing her drink on the other side of the counter and held you by the waist glaring at the girl “Its fine we got this” She said, loud enough for the three of your to hear and moved you upstairs to the restroom.

“Alright now, paper towels” She said to herself and you leaned against the sink counter feeling your head buzz. The smell of chlorine made you dizzy and you had to kneel down and rest your head in the hollow of your crossed arms that were propped against your knees

“You good?” Abby asked and you looked up at her concerned expression

“Ah, I have such a good angle from here” Sober you weren't friends with drunk you. With every shot you took your filter evaporated and you were the type of drunk who got incredibly horny and flirty. The sight of the woman who was sculpted like a Greek statue accelerated those thoughts and those khaki pants sat so nicely and low on her crotch showing just a sliver of her black boxer briefs.

“Oh you are drunk as fuck” She said and kneeled before you holding your arms away from your chest to start cleaning the front of your dress.

“You leaned your head closer to her face and she looked you in the eyes with a playful scowl.

“Oh and you aren’t ?”

She shook her head with a smile and went back to wiping your top

“If I wasn’t I would not be able to do this with that much comfort” she admitted and you did only now notice that the area she was so carefully trying to clean was your chest. You smiled and held her hand to grab the tissue

“Let me do it myself then”

“Absolutely not”

“You fucking pervert”

“Oh you have no idea”

You both laughed and when you left the bathroom you were even closer than before. She still refused to dance much but with the help of your friends you did lift her spirits enough to at least not constantly be seated on a stool. That and she seemed incredibly intent on keeping hold of you one way or another putting quite a show when a more sensual song would play without ever getting too explicit. It drove you mad, this slow burn game of push and pull that lasted throughout the entire night and all the way home where you both crashed on the bed hardly in the mood to properly change or take off your makeup but you did have the decency to turn around when she changed and so did she. Not that it mattered since she decided to sleep in her sports bra and sweats and you wore an oversized t-shirt with your underwear only.In a way,there was a distant thought of you hoping that something more would have happened while at the same time you were incredibly satisfied with the turn of events

—————

Abby’s POV

Her head was spinning and not from vodka. All night she was fighting the urge to make you dry hump her thigh or thrust her hips against your ass in the most vile and sexual way possible.Hell she was close to doing so after the fifth shot of Smirnoff. She groaned and turned around in the bed now face to face with your sleeping frame. She was close enough to feel the small puffs of air on her exposed sternum. She herself was slowly dozing off and was ready to fall asleep until she felt you move closer and bury your face in her chest and tossed your leg over her thigh,keeping the other one snuggly between your own. Her senses were clouded and her head was a mess and she saw you open your eyes that were glossy and in the same daze as she was. You didn't say a word and neither did she. She felt your fingers first, circling her waist and nudge at the waistband of her sports bra, feeling the skin and dipping your fingers beneath it just enough to feel some more. Your eyes fell on her lips and she took the initiative to kiss you. That was the intent. But the gesture was a lot softer, barely grazing the surface. She looked at your eyes trying to find any sense of discomfort but you whined at the loss of contact and she kissed you a second time with more fervor,nibbling on your lower lip and pressing her tongue against it. You opened your mouth with a moan and she took her chance to dive deeper and switch positions with her now on top of you and your hands deep in her scalp holding her hair in fists as you reciprocated the gesture silently begging for more.

She pushed a thigh between your legs and you met her movement by grinding your hips against her chasing some sort of release.

“Abby” you whispered her name like a prayer and she pulled away from your bruised lips a string of saliva still connecting you both with the taste of your cherry lipgloss on her tongue.That soft needy voice may have been the most divine sound that had ever graced her ears. She gave you another kiss on the cheek and then on your jaw and went all the way down to your collar bones. She decided to linger on your neck a bit more nibbling at the tender skin just above your pulse,careful not to leave any unwanted marks. You called for her again and she pulled away and held your face in her hands and gave you another kiss. There were so many things she wished she had the energy to do that night, but there was an impending headache numbing her skull and she could see you struggle to stay sober and awake. You were both drunk and in need of sleep.

You pulled her closer and she rested her head on your chest listening to your heartbeat. Her arms slipped beneath your waist holding you tightly against her front and then she finally fell asleep

••••

here’s my ko-fi tip jar if you enjoy my work 🤍

[jungwon-crush]

(1) home - enhypen

(listening to the song while reading the chapter is recommended~)

rolling green hills stood before me. i closed my eyes as i laid on the wet grass that dampened my hair, while cool breeze flew around my figure. i should appreciate this type of weather since winter is starting to approach, i thought to myself. i want to laze in autumn forever.

"byeooolll!!! byeol byeol byeol byeol byeol!!!!" a nasally voice exclaimed. i internally sighed at the call of my name. there goes my relaxation time.

i stood up from my position, whilst the setting sun gazed at me, and began to search for a hiding spot. i need to at least give him a hard time looking for me, as compensation for ruining my moments of being alone. i barely get the chance to be by myself in nature.

as i looked around, i finally found a shrub to conceal myself in. so, as quietly as i could, i made my way to the bush.

i attempted to place myself inside it, forgetting the fact that i was a complete eighteen year old.

"owww!" i quietly screamed to myself. even though i wore a lengthy brown skirt, i somehow managed to get pricked by a thorn on my right knee. i guess my kilt moved around a lot while i was trying to adjust my stance.

unanticipatedly, the same voice that yelled my name just a short time ago appeared behind me.

"wh-what are you trying to do? imagine being so stupi-"

"shut up, jungwon!" i turned around to see the boy staring at my situation. his two hands covered his mouth, as if he was struggling to hold in his laughter.

"i hope you know that you look like a cat stuck in a tree. except you're a really big cat and that's a very small tree." he giggled.

"oh, be quiet! if anything, you're the cat. now, get me out of here!"

to be honest, i did not need much assistance. i was just in the mood to bother the boy who kept snickering at my condition.

he sighed at my request. nonetheless, he continued to move towards me. his hands found his way to my waist, while i placed my own hands onto his shoulders to steady myself as he lifted me off the hedge. he then placed me back onto the moist grass that i was previously laying on.

once he let go of my frame, i started to dust off my skirt and shake off the coarse leaves on it. i suppose jungwon took that as a cue, because he began to brush the strands of grass out of my braided hair.

with a hue of pink spread on his cheeks, jungwon complained, "and you wonder why others assume that i am older than you! i really do need to stop babying you.."

i crossed my arms and stuck my tongue at him. in return, he mirrored my actions and ruffled my hair.

"it's already sunset, byeol. we should go back home before it gets dark." jungwon said as he forcibly took my hand and led me out of the plain.

i rolled my eyes, "i thought you said that you needed to stop babying me? come on wonnie, please let me stay here a little longer! you can go back home by yourself so heeseung doesn't get worried."

"i'm not leaving you alone in this area. why were you not at your house in the first place? everyone's noticed that lately, after school, you always seem to be out. these days, i constantly look out my window and expect you to be in your usual spot in the living room, but you're never there."

i tugged at the long sleeve of his button shirt, "i don't wanna talk about it, how'd you know i was in the pasture anyways?"

"jake told me he saw you coming here after he finished his classes, he sounded concerned so i came to look for you. and talking about it helps, you know that. i've never allowed you to bottle up your emotions, i've listened to every single word you've uttered since we were kids." jungwon glanced at me with hope written in his luminous eyes.

"i hate how persistent you are. are you like this around other people too? you should take care of yourself too, wonnie."

"don't change the subject. let it out, byeol."

when it comes to yang jungwon, i can never resist.

i huffed into the air, "my dad... he... he  told me he'd return to lutton last saturday, and now it's thursday a week later yet he's not back. he sent me a letter saying that he's still in the city, his boss asked him to work for an extra amount of days there."

"mr. sun's gone again?" jungwon questioned. he moved closer to me in order to put his left arm around my shoulders. i realized that he does this a lot, especially when he notices that someone is under stress.

"mhm," i replied dismally, "i don't blame you for not noticing though, whether he's in lutton or not, he's barely at home. i think we all know that ever since my mom died 6 years ago, my dad avoids staying at the house for too long because our place is filled with memories of her."

"he's been coping like that for too long, when will he come to his senses? does he ever consider the fact that his daughter has been going through a hard time too?" he commented as they reached a district near their neighborhood.

"wonnie, you know his excuse. he always pulls the 'i work hard because of you' card. i can't even argue with him about the issue because, like i said, he's never home. i just want to distract myself from him because this matter has been getting to me a lot. so, recently i've been wandering outside our community. i don't want to disturb you guys with my troubles as well. i don't like seeing you lot get constantly frustrated over my issues."

jungwon grumbled, "byeol, suddenly dissappearing makes us fuss more. we share our problems, remember? whether they're big or small - when niki's bike got stolen it wasn't only him who went looking for it. all of us put effort into finding out who robbed it. we all know that your father's always been... something else, which is why we're here for you. anyways, forget him, have you been sleeping alone? what have you been eating for dinner? most importantly, are you doing your homew-"

the moment those questions left his mouth, i immediately put my hands over his lips. "everytime i mention my dad being gone in a conversation, you start nagging! sometimes i wish you would stop talking."

jungwon let out a muffled,"im gonna lick you." accordingly, i placed my hands back to my side again.

the boy annoyingly flashed his middle finger towards my direction. however, he quickly stopped due to an old lady passing by who gave him a judgemental glare.

it was hard to hold in a sneer.

he hurriedly picked up the discussion again while he scratched the back of his neck, "you still didn't answer my questions."

"i've been surviving on instant noodles and spam."

"heeseung would approve, but i don't. so, you're gonna eat with us at sunghoon's tonight."

"i'm not gonna oppose that, sunghoon's mom makes the best carbona." my stomach rumbled at the thought of pasta.

jungwon screeched as a response, "i know right! and the garlic bread she makes too? she's a five star michelin in my eyes."

i nodded my head in agreement. we were nearing our vicinity already.

"moving on, what about sleep and homework, byeol?"

"i sleep just fine. i'll probably ask sunoo to stay over tonight though to help me with homework. thank god we're both in the same class this year."

i glimpsed at jungwon to see his reaction, but instead of wearing an accepting look, his brows were furrowed and he looked... displeased?

"i bet sunoo hasn't even done the homework, after school today he went to niki's house straight away. all they do is just watch recorded shows - i can help you instead." he suggested.

"trust me, sunoo did the work."

at this sentence, jungwon's tone became a bit more aggrivated, "how would you know?"

"he did the assignment in our study period while i was sleeping. i saw him finish it when i woke up. he sits directly in front of me, conveniant, isn't it?" i grinned.

jungwon answered with a disheartened mumble, "fine, byeol, you do you."

why's he so irritated about sunoo doing homework for once? i wondered, isn't it a good thing that he's finally starting to put effort in school?

due to me spacing out, i did not register that jungwon and i already arrived at our neighborhood.

after bidding goodbyes (the goodbyes being another lecture of how to take care of myself from jungwon because i am already a legal adult), jungwon reminded me to go to sunghoon's house for dinner. he was about to unlock his front door until i ran up to him and pulled his form into my arms.

his arms went stiff for a while, but they ended up finding a way around my lower back - like they always do. he placed his chin above my head, this way i was in the perfect position to nestle in his chest.

"in all seriousness though, thank you wonnie. for always taking care of me." i whispered.

he clicked his tongue, "there's no need to thank me, byeol. i know by now that my prescence is a blessing."

i chuckled while he played with my  tangled hair underneath the nightfall. his fingers intertwined between the locks, then he released me.

he gently pushed me using his shoulder and said, "now go change for dinner."

taglist: @wonwobbles 

a/n: hiii first chap!!! i kinda hate how i wrote this so i'll probably redo it when im free again djdjdj. anyways the rest of the characters will be introduced in the next chap <3

[irameii]

You ||: JUYEON

Warnings: none really

Summary: I love you y/n

Juyeon:"Prettys on the inside y/n"

Y/n:"I know , I know Juyeon but common. Do you see her though. Shes just so much prettier than me"*sigh*

The male just looks at me . From the way he looks, almost like hes upset is enough to get me to stop talking about our college campus beauty.

Juyeon:"You'll see eventually, look closer in the mirror. y/n and you can see it. Its all on the inside. "

Y/n: "Alright alright. Hey Juyeon, help me pick out my outfit for my date today?"

Juyeon: *Hesitates* today? Um, sure. What time ?

Y/n: once our 1 pm class is over? He said theres this garden he wants to show me so I want to look as pretty as the flowers that will be there.

Juyeon: *light chuckle*alright y/n

Y/n: thank you Juyeonieee !!!! *skips away to class *

OtherPOV

Juyeon sees as his bestfriend happily skips away. Letting out a heavy sigh. Feeling a knowing feeling he knows all too well. He loves Y/n. But she has a Boyfriend so he cant do anything about it. Your smile, your laugh, you. It was you. It was complicated.

*Later that evening*

Juyeon sat on your couch while you went to get different outfits. The sound of your rambling when you were choosing outfits to show Juyeon made him laugh to himself.

Y/n: OMG Juyeon. Look okay so how about this skirt with this top? Or should we keep it classic with this top and a pair of ripped jeans?

Juyeon: *finger on chin* mmm both look good. But what do you feel more comfortable in? You will be wearing it for a few hours, and it might get slightly colder tonight.

Y/n: true *looks at self* so the top with the jeans? With a loose upward pony tail??* turns around to look at Juyeon*

Juyeon: uh yeah... That'd be nice.

Y/n : okay !!thank you Juyeonieee . Im gonna go ahead and get ready, stay till i leave so you can help me see how it looks !!! * skips along to bedroom*

Again. He slightly chuckles as he watches you leave. You had that habit. Everytime he said or did something for you you would always call him Juyeonie and skip along almost like an innocence he loved about you. Or when you'd simply look up at him to smile, he loved it about you. The way your eyes would go big and then your eyebrows would go up and down with your mouth slightly open when you'd try to get his attention to make him lose concentration cause you'd gotten bored studying. He enjoyed your habits. Thats when he realized he loved you.

Y/n: Juyeon!!! Help me with this hairclip.

Juyeon: *opens clip and places on head* is this the one i got you?

Y/n: *turns around, looks up* yeah, its really pretty .

Juyeon: yeah..... *looks away with a slight blush*

Y/n: okay. So how do I look? *spins*

Juyeon: * smile forming* Beautiful. You look beautiful y/n...

Y/n: Thank you Juyeonieee.❤I'll see you then!!!. Thanks for helping meee. I'll tell you how it goes!!

Juyeon: okay....

Juyeon didnt want to hear it though. How your boyfriend makes your heat skip a beat. How that smile you give Juyeon was bigger when you were with your boyfriend. How he made you feel in love.... But he was your bestfriend.... And talking about it made you happy, but he felt Jealous.. The way hed get to hold your hand. Or the way youd hug him, or let him lay his head in your lap... He felt jealous.... But there wasnt anything he could do....he was just your bestfriend.

Next day

There were marks on your neck. Evident that your date with your boyfriend went well. But it didnt sit well with Juyeon the moment he saw them.

Juyeon: whats this?

He says it with a different tone than you're used to as he pulls your hair back away from your neck to see them. Things got heated between you and your boyfriend last night, you didnt think anyone would notice since you tried hiding it with makeup but it seems it didnt get passed Juyeon though.

Y/n: * slightly steps back* things got a little heated last night after the date. I tried to cover them up though.

You dont notice the look he gives you as you look away and focus back on the teacher. You heard a clicking sound from him but when you looked at him he turned back to the teacher.

Juyeon was acting off the following days.. He started talking to the college campus beauty and her friends. He would walk her to and from class. And would swing by her table before finding his was to you Which was odd since he said he didnt really like girls who wore so much makeup because it hides their natural beauty. So it was odd that he suddenly had interest in them now. Saying you were feeling a little jealous was something you didnt want to come to terms with. But you couldnt do anyrhing about it since you guys were just friends so you decided to ignore it but youd steal glances every now and then and its make your chest tight. And the way he talks to you were just short responses maybe a hey here and there but that was all.

After the next 3 weeks he would do it. Casually put his arm around her and laugh out loud when you would walk past him. And eventually you had enough of it. And decided to confront him.

Y/n: Juyeon

*silence*

Y/n: Juyeon

*silence*

Tired you pull him by his shirt collar outside to the back of the library.

Y/n: whats up with you? Why have you suddenly changed??

Juyeon: why? Whats wrong with wanting to talk to others ?

Y/n: you know thats not what I mean Juyeon. You have hardly been speaking to me and now its now to nearly nothing. Something is wrong. Please......

*Bell rings*

Y/n:*sigh* meet me at my place to talk Juyeon. I mean it.

You turn to leave , not letting him give you a response. He stood there frozen. Not knowing what to do. He knew if he went , he might mess up and confessing... He didnt know what to do. The desperate look on your face almost made him confess right there. But he bit his tongue.

Lunch time

Juyeon: hey y/n.... I cant make it. Im sorry.

Y/n: LEE JUYEON you WILL come no matter what time it is. Ill wait for you to come. I dont want us to be like this anymore. Please come.

*puppy eyes*

You wre doing it again... Making him speechless... Making him give into you... He didnt want that look on your face. He wanted you to look at him... But not with those eyes... Not ones with sadness and dissapointment in them...

Juyeon:okay...

Y/n POV

It was 10pm and he still hasnt come... Maybe I did something wrong..

My bf isnt talking to me either... I kept complaining about Juyeon not talking to me anymore and how things were different and he snapped . He didnt want to hear about him anymore and said we should take a break since he said i need to determine who i like more. Him or my bestfriend... Now Ive lost both of them....*sigh*.... *falls alseep*

You didnt hear the door click open. Juyeon had an extra key for when you were sick or needed something and hed fetch it for you. Your boyfriend was always busy except every now and then so giving him one wouldnt have much of a purpose. If you were sick he'd call and say he felt bad you were sick but since he had a weak immune system and didnt want both him and you sick he wouldnt come. But Juyeon never hesitated to. Hed hold up your hair as you would throw up and rub your back for you. He'd wipe you down to lower your body temperature. He'd try and cook porridge and end up messing up it up and calling his mom to make some that was edible instead for you. It was always Juyeon. The one who would remind you that you looked best with bed hair and baggy pjs and tshirts when hed surprise you in the mornings if you had an exam to make sure you ate a good breakfas because that was when you were most comfortable.

But to you. It was all platonic. So you knew better than to fall for him like that...

Blissful in sleep you wake to Juyeon on his knees infront of you. He didnt wake you. He just layed his head on your little table facing you.

You really didn't realize it. But you couldnt help but start to admire him. The way his eyelashes casted a shadow on his cheeks. The way his lips formed a slight pout. You felt yourself smiling. You reach to move a piece of hair out of his face but you quickly retract your hand and turn around and pretend to sleep when you feel he's waking up.

After 5 minutes pass. You hear shuffling. Then a voice in a so quiet almost in a whisper you hear him sigh then ... He starts...

Juyeon:

Y/n.... I like your eyes, and how you look away when you pretend not to care* chuckle*....I like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear when you see me.*looks towards the ground* The world may not know but I do. I loved you for so long y/n, sometimes it's hard to bear with it .But after all this time, I hope you can wait and see ... See that Ive loved you every minute.... every second.... I'll love you anywhere and any moment for every moment.Always and forever.... I know ....its wrong... I don't know how its come to this... I cant help that I love the little things about you, like when you're unaware...I catch you steal a glance towards me at times and smile , maybe I misunderstood it... And then sometimes when life brings me down. You're there.... you're the one, I don't know how but it feels like in a world devoid of life, you bring color to it. You are the color in a black and white painting. And in your eyes I see the light. A light i want to follow forever and protect....I love you y/n..... But you're not mine...

He goes quiet again. You slightly turn around to see Juyeon with his face in his hands. Tears running down. Trying to quietly hide his pain..

You reach your hand out to him, and pull his hand away from his face. He looks up at you in shock. But then he quickly turns away. Something about looking at his sad and teary eyes made you lost for words..

Y/n:Juyeon...

You pull him closer to you. Hug him tightly and slowly feel him wrap his arms around you.

Its quiet... As you pet his hair, you can feel his breathing become slower.. He's fallen asleep. You strech your head to see his face. Its stained with tears... His nose a light shade of pink... And his lips in a small pout....

Almost as if on cue, his eyes flutter open and look at you . And as he quietly looks at you you whisper back....

Y/n: ..... I love you too Juyeon...

Juyeon:..... Huh? Wait what?

Now he was fully awake now. And it looked like he was trying to see if he was dreaming. And with a giggle you turn his face to yours and press them together with his. As shock spreads on his face you smile at him and repeat the words

Y/n: I love you Juyeon

And almost instantly he smiles a smile bigger than you've seen and this time he is the one who grabs your face and presses a kiss to your lips. He presses his forehead against yours and chuckles to himself as he closes his eyes and smiles

Juyeon: Im glad... Im glad I came....

THE END

Gif credits to owners

I didnt really like this one but ehhhhh im slowly trying to get better guys...

*I did not proof read it so my bad

[megalodon-writes]

Misunderstandings

Pairing - Akaashi Keiji x F!Reader

Word Count - 1.5k - Part I

Warnings - slight unwanted physical contact 

Synopsis - The reader sees a couple strange men at her work.

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV

a/n: I have worked really hard on this fic for about 6 days now. I had the idea while watching Finding Nemo (along with some akaashi fics) and this story is very close to me. thanks to @/dorkyama , @/spicyness , @/thicchaikyuuboys , Arnold, and Victor for helping me with questions/concerns/editing. I’m not gonna apologize for all the fish facts in this series bc high key im a slut for aquatic life

“Did you guys know that otters hold each other's hands when sleeping in the water to avoid drifting away from each other?” You said into the mic, watching the few otters swim around playfully. A couple little girls' mouths flew open and they sighed wistfully. You chuckled with how sweet they were. “Otterly adorable, if I do say so myself.” Usually, when you said some sort of pun, you got a groan from others. But you started giggling when you heard ugly laughter in the back from a guy who looked like an owl.

“That was not funny.” A little boy said seriously, crossing his arms. You looked at him and smiled sweetly.

“I thought it was hilarious.” A man said, standing behind the boy. His hair was spiked up and it looked like he had forgotten to re-dye his hair for a long time. The boy carefully turned around and his eyes grew wide.

“Whoa! You’re.. You’re…!” The kid stuttered. You raised an eyebrow and looked at the guy, trying to remember if you had seen him somewhere before. The man that was standing behind him piqued your interest. He was attractive, his messy black hair framed his stoic face nicely.

“Hey kid.” The guy who looked like an owl grinned. He stuck his hand out and shook the kids hand vigorously. The boy looked excitedly at his palm, before running off to his parents.

“Are you a celebrity or something?” You asked the man. You didn’t mean for it to come across rude, but you would have thought you shattered his world from how he looked at you. “Oh, I didn’t reali-”

“He’s fine.” The dark haired guy said. “Bokuto plays on a professional volleyball team.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t watch.” You said. Just then a little kid came up and tugged on your shirt.

“Hi, um, what are the otters named?” She said, her voice reminding you of songbirds. You bent down so you could look her in the eyes and smiled.

“Hey sweetie. That one is Jasper, and the other is Kegin.” You pointed out the two cuddling and the girl's eyes lit up. “The other three are Daya, Sunshine, and Moon.”

“Akaashi! Touch pool!” The volleyball player yelled, grabbing the other guy's hand and dragging him over to the stingrays. 

You stood up after the girl ran off and you glanced over at the two guys. The one named Akaashi was standing there barely leaning over the edge while Bokuto had his whole arm in. You thought it was adorable when Akaashi made a face as he grabbed Bokuto's sleeve to pull it out of the water. You quickly looked away when his blue green eyes met your gaze. Turning back towards the otters, you gave several more facts into the microphone, hoping the guy didn’t notice you staring. Once the time came, you switched headsets with your replacement and hurried to your other station. As soon as you arrived, you gave several quick facts out and took a nice, deep breath, pondering if you would see that cute guy and his chaotic friend again. The way the fish moved in the water was so calming that you watched the sharks for longer than you probably should have.

“That one has a gnarly bite outta it!” A blonde haired teenager said to his date, knocking you out of your trance. “Look!” He pointed to one of the reef sharks that had a large circular scar on it’s side. You smiled and scanned the crowd, but your heart stopped when you saw Tozen walk in. He grinned and sauntered up to place a hand on your shoulder. You cringed slightly and mentally kicked yourself from forgetting you were going to have to present with him.

“Hey.” His smile made your toes curl. “I’m glad we get to be partnered up.” He let his hand fall away, but not without brushing down your entire arm. It wasn’t drawn out, but it still sent chills up your spine and you looked at the ground. 

“Yeah.” You mumbled. 

“What’s up guys?” He said excitedly into his mic. “I’m Tozen and this lovely woman is Y/N. We’re going to be giving you a small presentation about sharks so if you have any questions, remember them for the end of it!” You took a deep breath and forced yourself to focus on everything except him. 

“Please sit on the benches and if there’s room then scoot closer.” You smiled and looked at the people. The two guys from earlier walked in and your heart lifted as Bokuto waved happily. You threw your hand up in a small response before they snagged seats in the front row. 

“By raising your hand, how many of you like sharks?” You asked. Bokuto's hand shot up followed by Akaashi and several others. One little boy turned to his mother and not so quietly whispered how much he loved them. “Me too! So what we have in here are some reef sharks, a couple sandbar sharks, and a few guitar fish!”

“Don’t forget the sea turtle and the other aquatics.” Tozen laughed. Honestly, you preferred when he presented because it didn’t give him as much of a chance to do things that made you uncomfortable. You let out a shaky breath you didn’t realize you were holding and got wrapped up in the presentation. Your favorite thing was that every time you gave a fact or some form of fish trivia, Bokuto looked like a kid given free reign in a sweets store. You kept letting your eyes drift to Akaashi, and everytime you met his gaze you felt the butterflies in your stomach become more alive. You opened the floor up for questions and several peoples hands were raised, including Bokutos. You chose a kind looking boy with a red baseball cap on.

“Hi sweetie, what’s your name?”

“I’m Nen.”

“Hi Nen! What’s your question?”

“Why is that one shark hurt?” He asked, worry laced in his voice. Bokutos hand dropped and he leaned forward intently. 

“She actually healed up nicely so she doesn’t hurt anymore!” You said, making Nen give a small smile. “Sometimes sharks bite others to establish dominance or-”

“That specific one is a female and sometimes the mating process of sharks can be a bit rough.” Tozen said, looking at you. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from giving a reaction that would probably be best described as gagging. His comment caught you so off guard that you felt like you had been thrown into a hot pan. Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed when you looked at him.

“Usually, they get playing around and sometimes just bite each other. That’s what happened to our sweet Miyako here.” You took a couple steps farther away from Tozen and continued answering questions until no one else raised their hands.

“Alright, thank you guys for coming! Go ahead and check out our other shows for the day! We’ve got a seahorse feeding, penguin talk, and others!” He grinned and waved to everyone. “Not to mention if you buy our stingray package, you get a small plushie and some food to feed them right out of your hand!” A few people said thanks as they left to find out about the stingrays and others went to marvel at the sharks.

“We have to do that, Akaashi.” Bokuto said. “I want to feed the stingrays. I bonded with them.” You snickered under your breath and suddenly the two men were standing next to you. “Hey, you’re really smart!” He said happily. You laughed and switched the mic off, sliding it into your back pocket.

“Thanks for being so excited. Honestly, it made my day that you were ecstatic.” 

“You know a lot about sharks.” Akaashi said simply.

“I’m currently studying to be a marine biologist. Plus, they’re my favorite animal. It’s the whole reason I decided to work here.” You smiled sweetly but your heart sank as you felt Tozens arm snake around your shoulders.

“We’re glad to have her. She’s quite brilliant.” He smiled down at you. You stood there, rooted to the spot and clenched your fist. “I’m Tozen.” He moved his arm off of your shoulders and stuck his hand out. Bokuto shook it quickly but when it was Akaashis turn he folded his arms. “Okay. Well, I’ve got to go to another presentation so it was nice to meet you guys.” He gave you one last look before leaving the room. Your entire body relaxed and you blinked several times.

“You’re not giving any other presentations today, right?” Akaashi asked, watching where Tozen had disappeared. You raised an eyebrow at him and shook your head.

“No, this was the last one.”

“Ah man.” Bokuto complained. “You’re really fun to listen to.” You were touched by the small compliment. Grinning, you pulled out your phone to look at your schedule.

“Well, you guys are welcome to come back again. I have more presentations over the next couple of days.”

“We also could just hang out outside of your work.” Akaashi suggested, making Bokuto's face light up.

“Yeah!”

[ribcage-rodents]

So I finally finished the first script of my au...

The JL tower floating in space, stationary, inside:

Scene

The JL tower in the meeting room. The leaguers had just finished discussing monitor duties and the leaguers were dispersing. Wonder Woman grabbed a mug of coffee and Batman went over to the monitor so when she settles down for her turn they can gossip. Other leaguers start to small talk, Black Canary and Green arrow are discussing dinner plans in the background. Flash runs over to Wonder Woman and pokes her shoulder.

Flash

“Hiya! Diana, so your little sisters comin’ over from ya island to learn the way of the princess warrior, right?”

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman looked at him skeptically, setting her coffee down on the small counter serving as a drink station, answered hesitantly.

“Yes,”

Flash

Flash smiled and placed both hands on his hips. His face brightened.

“Awesome! Can you tell me about ‘er!”

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman’s confused expression slowly grew more aggravated.

“No.”

She picked up her coffee and walked past him, heading over to Batman.

Flash

Flash zoomed in front of her with a placating hand motion.

“Awe come on, please! It’s just Wally’s always been kinda awkward and he’s really bad at making friends! He always says that his aunt and I are his best friends and the only ones he needs, and don’t get me wrong I love being so close with the kid. Warms my heart everytime he says it. But still I want him to have people outside our family that he trusts and can spend time with!”

Flash pulled out puppy dog eyes and pouted slumping forward with pleading hands.

“I was hoping maybe your little sis could become his friend. We could put ‘em on a simple mission with us as guides, and then maybe he wouldn’t be so sad and lonely,”

A couple of moments passed with Wonder Woman looking unimpressed and Flash in the same pleading stance.

Flash

“Please….”

He asked, elongated and drawn out.

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman stood still, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Allowing our apprentices to create strong bonds within this brutal job is a wonderful idea.”

She laid a hand on his shoulder and her smile widened.

Black Canary

Black Canary walked over to them, leaving Green Arrow to look affronted in the background. She laid her hand on Wonder Woman’s shoulder announcing herself in the conversation before placing both hands on her hips.

“Teaching our young heroes how to successfully complete a mission together while also creating companionship, is a wonderful idea. In fact, I think we should incorporate all of the sidekicks to help them build these skills,”

Black Canary sent a side glance at Batman and lowered her pitch.

“God knows one kid’s gonna need it,”

Green Arrow

Green Arrow walked closer to the group looking annoyed.

“Yeah, well Roy isn’t much of a ‘team work’ kinda person.”

He moved his arm to wrap around Black Canary’s waist.

Black Canary

Black Canary subtly slipped out of the way. And faced him.

“More the reason to do this,”

Aquaman

In his booming, egotistical, voice Aquaman chimed in.

“I’m sure the others could learn much from my people.”

All members looked towards Batman who was typing on the computer looking at possible cases.

Batman

Batman, without returning their looks, answered in his typical deadpan Batman voice.

“No,”

Black Canary

“Why not?”

Black Canary asked, her usually soft face hardening.

Flash

The Flash zoomed up next to him.

“But Bats, Robin is like one of Wally’s idols! He’d love to meet ‘im”

Batman

Batman only glared angrily at him until he let up and left. The others soon also gave up on Batman’s participation and dispersed.

Scene 2

On a well lit suburban street a flash of red went by leading up to Barry and Iris's house, the same red flash rushed through the door into the kitchen, magically changing into Barry, where Iris is cooking dinner. A shocked look took over her face as Barry was even more energetic than usual.

Iris

Iris, shaking garlic powder over a baking sheet of oily kale, questioned her husband.

“Why’re you so happy?”

Tilting her head to the side and setting the garlic powder down, Iris then moved towards the sink to wash her hands before placing them on her hips.

Barry

Barry looked very excited like a child who got a gold star in school.

“Oh, nothing, just me being the best uncle ever!”

He ran over to the staircase and started shouting Wally’s name.

Iris raised an eyebrow but an amused smile was on her face. Wally came zooming down the stairs also looking confused.

Wally

“What’s up Uncle B?”

Wally reached up to scratch his forehead.

Barry

“Best. Uncle. Ever!”

He said tapping his chest at each word.

“I got you a playdate!”

He said enthusiastically, although his overly joyful smile fell off his face once he realized Wally looked horrified.

Deflated Barry poked Wally’s cheek before asking,

“Hey, what’s wrong. I’d thought you’d be happy.”

Wally

“I appreciate the offer uncle B, it’s just…. I’m almost sixteen and I have to have my Uncle find people to be my friends. It’s pathetic!”

Wally punctuated his sentence by throwing his arms up into the air.

Barry

Barry placed his hand on Wally’s shoulder.

“Oh come on kiddo. You’re not pathetic, it's just that at school in keystone no one liked science or superheroes. And now you don’t feel like you can make friends. But these kids think superheroes are cool enough to try and become ‘em. You’ll fit right in!”

He said moving his hand to pat Wally’s back twice before rubbing between his shoulder blades.

Wally

Wally looked down at his feet and answered, his voice quiet and self-conscious.

“Ya think?”

Barry

Barry once again rubbed his back before wrapping him up in a hug.

“I know.”

Barry answered.

Wally looked back at him with a tentative smile.

Scene 3

Dianah walked with purpose, heels clicking against the hardwood floor of Oillie’s apartment above StarLabs headquarters. Ollie, who was wearing a lime green sports jacket and tan cargo shorts, trailed behind her looking anxious and irritated at the same time. She knocked crisply three times on a bedroom door decorated in caution tape and road signs. Roy answered the door dressed in sweats and a hoodie also looking annoyed.

Roy

“What.?”

Roy deadpanned giving Dianah an annoyed look before trying to glare down Ollie over her shoulder.

Dianah

Dianah placed both hands on her hips ignoring Ollie’s quiet comment on how this isn’t gonna work because Roy never does anything asked of him, causing their stare down session to become more intense. In her ‘no room for argument’ voice, she says.

“You are going on a mission with the other sidekicks. You are not going to go out on your own, you are not going to disobey mission orders, and you are not going to behave like a jerk to the other kids do you understand?”

Roy

Roy glared at her for a few minutes before running his hand down his face groaning loudly.

“Yeah. Whatever, fine.”

Dianah smiled sweetly before leaning forward and kissing his cheek thanking him. Roy sent one final glare at Ollie before shutting his door.

Ollie’s face morphed between shock and confusion despite how many times he’s seen this almost same exact scene play out. Dianah started walking away, her heels clicking again.

Ollie

Ollie, questioned her quietly.

“How?”

Dianah

Dianah answered from over her shoulder.

“Because we have mutual respect for one another. Remind me to set you two up for a group therapy session. Now go get dressed, I’m not leaving this house with you looking like that.”

Scene 4

Underwater a school building with a logo of several fish swimming together mounted to the roof. A door is banged in as Aquaman, their king and hero, is standing in the doorway. Several teenagers practicing water bending looked up immediately saluting their leader.

Aquaman

“Garth.”

Aquaman called his name in a grim voice, he swiftly turned around and worked to the exit. The students all stared at Garth while a dark look overcame his face, quietly he gathered up his materials, storing them away into his bag and finally following after their eccentric king.

The two entered Aquaman’s private study at the castle, Garth held on tight to the strap of his bag eyeing the king cautiously. Aquaman was busy admiring his treasures from far away lands.

Aquaman

Holding up a glass ball filled with what looked to hold a shimmering sunset, Aquaman spoke for the first time since entering the study about five minutes ago.

“Do you know what this is Garth?”

His voice was no longer commanding but Garth still had his guard up. When Garth refused to respond, Aquaman continued.

“It’s an extremely rare prize from the Republic of Lenong. An alien world that worshiped the sky, their atmosphere was an awful lot like Earths. And this,”

He carefully set down the glass ball and instead picked up a long silver sword bedazzled with shining jewels.

“I earned this from a fight with the league of shadows.”

Putting away the sword he turned to Garth quickly striding across the study so he could seat himself across from him.

“You see Garth, I am very interested in other worlds and learning how they work. Learning their weaknesses and the true nature of their relationship with Alantis. I've studied the land-dweller’s world, they are intriguing and ridiculous, like children. I want to put you on a team with the land-dwellers’ babies, to learn from them and more importantly teach them. If this works then hopefully the land-dwellers will become more intelligent and competent.”

Garth

Garth stared back at the king, his gaze turning hard with hatred.

“King Aurther, aren’t those’ babies’ heroes? I don’t know how to fight,”

Aquaman

Aquaman gave him an enthusiastic look.

“You can waterbend,”

Garth

Garth opened his mouth to speak but Aquaman held up a hand to silence him.

Aquaman

Aquaman raised a single eyebrow as his mouth formed into a thin line.

“Do you want this mission or not? Because I could find someone else to fill the position.”

Garth

Panic sweeped over Garth’s face, his eyes shot to the side anxiously.

“No! I would be honored to take on this mission.”

Garth finished quickly nodding at Aquaman.

Aquaman

At that a wide smile spread over Aquaman’s face.

“That's good to hear my boy!”

Aquaman clapped the newly anointed sidekick on the back.

Garth

“Thank you King Arthur.”

Garth bowed to Aquaman and booked it out of the castle. Garth hurried down a side alley, knocking on a rust colored door of a seedy, run-down building.

A slit slid away to reveal two eyes, Garth leaned in and whispered the password. He took a step back to allow the door to open. He entered silently.

Evil Fish Guy

“Garth? Why are you here during the day?!”

Asked an enraged voice seated in a throne shrouded in darkness.

Garth

“I think I have a way to destroy the land-dwellers and King Arthur sir.”

Garth leaves the building making quick work of his walk home. As he enters his home multi-colored bubbles burst from the walls revealing Garth’s parents standing below a giant congratulations banner.

Garth’s Mother

“Sweetheart! We are so proud of you!”

She beamed warmth emanating from her eyes.

Garth

Garth took a deep breath, a conflicted look filled his eyes as he smiled at his parents accepting their praise and hugs.

Garth’s Father

“I can’t believe we are the parents of the King’s chosen protege!”

He called squeezing Garth tighter.

Scene 5

A delicate waver passed though the bright sky as Diana flew to her home island, the sand of Themyscira was crushed as she landed. She exited the plane trekking through the jungle towards her mother’s temple, as Diana entered the alcove Donna’s peering figure slinked behind the edge of the building.

Diana

Diana bowed briefly to her mother before meeting her in an embrace. They hugged tightly, Diana burying her face in her shoulder. Once separated Hippolyta returned to her throne while Diana stood in the center of the temple.

“Mother, the league is putting many of our young heroes into a team of their own, I want Donna to be a part of that team.”

Hippolyta

Hippolyta sighed softly drumming her fingers lightly against her throne.

“I'm not sure if I feel comfortable sending Donna to the mans world,”

She said pensively her hand moving to grip the arm of her chair.

“Would there be other women on the team that Donna could form a bond with?”

Diana

A tight smile overcame Diana face,

“There are no other women but I work mostly with men and they can be very useful in battle and perceptive to sensitive matters,”

She paused to send a meaningful look at her mother.

“In fact I believe that Donna would be a good influence on those boys.”

Hippolyta

Hippolyta sighed heavily rubbing her forehead before she looked at Diana, a tired, weary look on her face.

“You can take Donna,”

She held up a held stopping Diana from celebrating just yet,

“But I want weekly updates, if Donna or myself feels that she needs to return she will do so immediately.”

Hippolyta punctuated her sentence with a stern look, Diana nodde, a sweet goodbye on her lips as she left.

Donna

Donna jolted turning on her heel she ran through the village hopping over carts and pivoting between villagers. Her movements were erratic and messy as she rushed home. Donna rounded the corner leading to her neighborhood smacking into Diana.

[akvtsuki-ari]

Drive Safe

Warnings: Angst, General Spoilers, Mentions of Drug Addiction (really minor but thought I’d include the warning) 

Length: 3.9k (holy shiiiiit) 

Authors Note: i’m unbelievably excted to be back officially. It’s been so long so I really wanted to come back with a bang and honestly I really like the concept for this fic and im just so so so happy to be writing again. this was heavily inspired by Drive Safe by Rich Brian, so I reccomend giving that a listen while you read. i love spencer reid sm and i also love all of you and i hope you enjoy (also italiscized text is a flasback/memory!!) 

Summary: Spencer loves you but your safety comes before him, even if it’s hard

Song

Spencer Reid knew a lot about memories, more than he wanted to know about them for the most part. 

He knew that memories began to form at birth, and that the extent of a memory that has important attachments to your personal life can be exaggerated in the mind. He knows that age doesn’t deteriorate memory, more-so that the lack of mental stimulation over time can degrade your brains power - any muscle will work better with consistent exercise. He also knows that sleep can revitalize and restore long-term memories and establish it better overall, according to varying scientific studies on the effects of sleep on the body. 

None of that matters really. That is what Spencer knew about memories, in a lot of ways but it wasn’t the full picture. 

Spencer also knows that memories make him feel fragile. Old memories with Maeve and their phone calls, drug-related memories that always end with emotions he can’t work himself out of, memories from when Emily was dead and he felt himself crumbling away. Memories were heavy things. Cloudy things . Everything that may have had sunlight was surrounded by dark clouds, and Spencer was simply waiting for the rain to come. 

Still, he was used to it. These feelings, as detrimental as they used to be, are managed easier. He was older now, less fragile - even if it hurts, it won’t do him any good to just let it happen. Instead of reminiscing, he works or studies or reads and hopes that the memories will wash out from his head. A storm drain of  old wounds, washed by his own attempt to just keep pushing. His attempt to have sanity even when every odd works against him. That's what made him, him. 

These days, most days - he finds himself reminiscing much more often. Always thoughts of you, clouding his mind and shifting his focus for the seconds he’d have time. It was always you, your silhouette hung on his door frame. The sound of your voice when you laughed or the way you listened to music like it was the only thing you ever cared to know. Everytime the two of you saw each other, he finds himself holding onto those memories like he was holding on to you. So tightly he held them close to him, much closer than he should allow.

 Tears welled in his eyes when he spoke. They were back again, the addiction urged and he wasn’t sure he could be alone, so here he was in your kitchen while the two of you sat across from each other - the table making both of you oceans away. The lights hung over your head like fluorescent stars from a negligible, concrete sky. Your knees were up to your chest, as Spencer looked down at the table wordlessly. Your tablecloth had flowers on them - violets that were faded from all the movement. It was an old tablecloth, he remembered - you loved it because it was so pretty to you and reminded you of your first apartment. Your eyes were fond when you looked at it, comforted by it even after all this time.

“It’s okay to cry,” your voice was so steady. You were just commenting, stating what you felt was obvious. 

And he trusts you, so he does cry. He just cries, and lets you see him - comforted by the way you look at him. You never pity him, or make him feel stupid or anything else. You just watch him cry, cry himself to puffy, swollen eyes. You reach your hand out, and he grabs it and just keeps crying. 

Memories that he finds himself caring for the most are odd. Maybe to the world that one feels full of sorrow, but it isn’t. Instead, he feels the comfort of your hands - dainty in comparison to his. Instead he remembers the smell of your house, always candles of the ocean-breeze. Instead he finds himself remembering you, the way you move and communicate, how you say so much without uttering one word. Those memories hold him tightly when he sleeps on plane rides - when that urge to cry hits him in his throat, he thinks of you. Those memories of you, and the sound of your voice. He sleeps, as peacefully as he can. Sometimes, he even smiles. 

 You were cooking to music. You always did that and it didn’t matter about Spencer, you always made enough for two. Just incase he was there, you could be together but if he wasn’t you could have left overs for the next day and it worked out in both of your favors. That was the lovely part of it. 

When Spencer came to your apartment, and saw you cooking in the kitchen, hips swaying to music while the steam poured on your part - he felt the way his heart started beating and smiled. It was a bittersweet smile, one that was full of those terrible reminders but he couldn’t help it. You acknowledge him by throwing your wooden spoon up in the air, and waving hello. Spencer laughs, a belly laugh that makes his whole chest feel light. He feels like he’s flying when he’s next to you. 

“The menu for tonight is lasagna, salad, and bread. Set the table for me will you, boy genius?,” That nickname would normally make him roll his eyes but never from you. When you did it, he smiled big and bright. It made him feel warm, a childish kind he never thought he could feel. Every time you spoke you made him feel something new

Spencer spent a lot of time with you, admittedly. Those nights were commonplace, but that one sticks out because your lasagna is really good. You make the tomato sauce in a special way that would give Rossi a run for his money. 

It was also the first time Spencer had felt how much you made him happy. How every memory of you was so full of something that left him wordless - all your careful actions and quick-witted observations. You were so much more than you seemed to be, so much smarter and wiser and every time he saw you, you were just a little bit more beautiful and Spencer wanted to surround himself in it. To be surrounded by you didn’t sound unpleasant at all, the opposite of that. That sounded so lovely. 

Those memories with you were always beautiful. Always unexpectedly profound to him simply because of who you were. 

Maybe thats where the fear came  from anyways. That cold feeling he got when you touched him, but he knew better. The tighter he held on, the harder it would be to let go. He was held on already but he couldn’t handle letting go - not when you were so much of his sanity. Not if your honest eyes, and honest love kept every case fresh. You were so inevitable 

// “Close your eyes, yeah?,” you were excited when you spoke. Spencer laughed and nodded, and did as told. You held his face in your hands and squished, squealing in excitement. Spencer hands ghost over his cheeks when he hears you run off. His face is warm. Your hands were too. 

“Hold your hands out okay? Like flat,” you explain carefully. He cracks his knuckles, causing a laugh to erupt from your throat. He smiles, happy to make you laugh and holds his hands, just for you. 

“Happy Birthday, boy genius,” you say softly. When he opens his eyes, the lights are turned off and there's a dome with a white button on it. Spencer looks at it confused for a second and by nature presses the button. 

Suddenly lights erupt in the room, covered in stars. Hundreds of stars and crescent moons fill the ceiling and wall. The light is on your face as you smile ear to ear. Spencer is smiling too.

“I remembered when you got drunk at Garcias Halloween party,  that you always wanted one of these as a kid and then you told me a bunch of cool stuff about space for a while then fell asleep. Plus we always talk about going stargazing sometime, so it felt right. I hope you like it,” you say shyly. Spencer looks at you, noticing how close you are. The only thing between the two of you was the projector, so he places it carefully on the floor and says thank you - but his eyes are unfocused. You were sad for a second, but suddenly Spencer's hands found your face and he kissed you. It wasn’t needy, or desperate but longing. The kind of kiss that you want forever, too afraid to know what happens when it's gone. 

When he pulled back, he just looked at you for a second. You were too shocked to speak and even if you could, he wasn’t sure what he’d say back. So instead, you stood up and sat next to him. You leaned your head on his shoulder and just watch the stars, the room, quiet. The two of you at a standstill - unable to do much at all.

Spencer can still taste you. You tasted minty because you chew a lot of gum, but your chapstick tasted like artificial pineapples. You said you were experimenting with different kinds, and he wonders what kissing you at different times would be like. If you tasted different on days not like that one. Maybe that's what makes that kiss so special and the memory so special too. 

When he kissed you the first time, he didn’t realize how much it would ease him. Kissing you was like breathing, and that kiss felt like the first time he had managed to get his head over water - no longer drowning in a sea of memories but floating in feelings he thought he lost. You were so fucking incredible, and it was the first time that Spencer found himself itching for something like this.

It scared him. All of his confidence was washed away and he was left cold. He didn’t speak to you for a few months after that - not really anyways. Little check-ups and casual run-ins but nothing more. It didn’t last that long, really. 

// “Love, can you please get that cereal from the top-shelf cause its too high and you’d probably be able too if you stood on your tip-toes?,” your voice is so familiar to Spencer's ears. The word love rung out in his head. He peeks around the corner, making sure he’s out of sight before he looks. 

There was a man next to you, doing as you said. He was tall, dark haired, and handsome. His build was nice, strong shoulders and jaw. Everything Spencer wasn’t really. His heart sank to his stomach and he shut his eyes for a second before looking back. 

“Thank youuuu,” you draw your voice out - you did that to be annoying but it was cute to him. He always liked it. He feels like he can’t breathe. 

“You’re so annoying,” the man rolls his eyes and you snort, before laughing again. 

“Damn, that hurts. I thought you loved me,” you pouted. The guy shook his head and chuckled. 

“I do love you, doesn’t mean you’re not annoying though,” he says rolling his eyes. You laugh loudly, the belly laugh you do when you find something hilarious. Spencer loves the sound but hates the way he hears it. His breathing is shallow. 

“Well, fine, whatever. I know you have the date with that one girl in like an hour, but thanks for shopping with me anyways. I just didn’t feel like being by myself today, “ you say warmly. The man gives you a bearhug and chuckles. 

“Anything for you, Y/N. We’re all here for you, one call away. It’s the least we can do for our favorite ex-roomate,” he offers. 

Everything clicks in Spencers mind as he breathes out with relief. You used to live with a bunch of childhood friends in a house together before you decided to pursue your career. For the most part, they were second family to you. It was back in college and it was cheaper but you’d all go to each other's houses for thanksgiving and stuff like that. He sighs deeply, feeling shitty for not remembering. 

Your friend leaves and Spencer does too. He took it as a sign that he shouldn’t speak to you, and continued on that path, unsure of where the road ended at all 

That memory makes Spencer's heartache. He couldn’t say it for so long but it was clear to most of the people he knew that he loved you. He loved you like the moon loves the ocean, or how the skyline loves the sun - distant, and longing but gorgeous. Loving you was beautiful but it made him feel tragic, like his heart was after something he couldn’t have. 

He touched you, held you, and gave to you so many pieces of him without thinking twice. Who can blame him for his fear of loss? One he’s encountered so many times he’s unsure of what stability feels like. He loves you too much to lose you, so he figures the longer you’re safe and happy, even if it hurts, the better. Defensive mechanics for a broken heart, one like his. 

When he finds himself alone on a Saturday night, he isn’t surprised. His eyes are hollowed out, purple and black bags that keep him from looking alive - he didn’t really feel alive either he can’t say. Instead, he watches the world outside of his apartment window - the cars passing in slow-motion, blinding sparks of light that race past.Rain pouring along the streets. The streetlights were working overtime as the whole city was alive, so much sound around him but it was all white noise.

He leans his head back onto the wall and looks down to the phone to his side. He reaches over carefully, unsure of what he’s really doing before he opens up his contact list. Your name sent an ache through his chest. 

“Princess Y/N,” he reads to himself, laughing. You had put that in his phone for him a while back, rather upset that your contact name was just Y/N. He didn’t see the problem but you did and so you changed it. 

He doesn’t know how to stop himself, as his fingers tap the phone icon next to your name. Every ring feels like hours. He doesn't know what he was doing but he needed to do it whatever it was. One more ring and then, you picked up. 

Shit, you actually picked up. 

“Hey, Spencer, everything okay?” your voice was warm, full of concern. He’s rendered speechless for a moment. 

“Y-yeah. I’m fine, how are you?,”  he ask, unsure of what to say. He could feel your hesitation but still waited for a response. 

“I’m okay, driving home from a work-party thing,” you say exasperated. Spencer smiles, knowing how your sarcasm shows out for any work-related outings, which made him laugh to himself. You loved your job and co-workers but your boss was a prick. 

“Drive safe,” he says soft. His voice is raspy. 

“I will, Spencer. Do you need anything else?,” you ask, sighing. As much as you missed him, you didn’t wanna reopen any old wounds, so you figured it’d be best to cut the conversation short. 

But Spencer doesn’t want that, so he sighs, curling his knuckles over and over to relieve some of his nerves. Swallowing thick, his voice appears again. 

“Can I see you in the morning? Please,” he whispers out to you.

“I’m busy then, but I can just come see you tonight before I’m home, I should be passing by your place soon. Do you need anything?” You ask thoughtfully. You figure something happened so you don’t question it - no matter where you two were you’d always be there for Spencer if he needed it. 

“Just you,” the words escape him before he has the time to think about it. Your eyes widen, nearly crashing your car into the side of the road at his comment. It was certainly out of character. 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” you say quietly, coughing. Spencer sighs and nods. 

“See you soon,” 

_ 

Even though he was expecting it, the knock on the door had come as a surprise. It was only 15 minutes, and when he answered it, there you stood. You had some middle eastern food in your hand and you were dressed to the nines. A black dress hugs your waist accompanied by gold jewelry and makeup a bit darker than you’d wear most days. You were beautiful, you looked beautiful and Spencer finds his heart beating out his chest. 

“I know you said you didn’t want anything but knowing you, you haven’t eaten since you had an off day and you forget to eat on off days  - so I bought some falafel with pita, and some other stuff,” you explain, taking your heels off as you walk in, Spencer closing the door behind you. His eyes wander on your hips and you pretend you don’t notice. 

“You look nice,” Spencer compliments meekly. You shoot him a small smile

“Thanks,” you mumble out. You settle on a chair in Spencer's house, across ways from his couch where Spencer sits. You open the bags and take out white foam boxes with forks, spoons, and napkins. You slide the box over to Spencer before you take your own and settle down. No awkward tension, too familiar for both of you for it to be that way after all. 

For a moment you two eat in silence. The silence isn’t deafening or awkward but surely it doesn’t belong, normally this was filled with idle chatter, the kind you can only have with someone who feels made for you. Spencer looks up at you as he pauses, watching you eat in contentment as your eyes wander around his apartment. He watched you frown as you saw the unrest in his living room, which would likely be unnoticeable to anyone else except the BAU and you. 

“What’d you need me for anyways, Spence?,” you ask again, taking another bite of the pita bread in your hands. You lift your hand up to wipe the hummus of your face and Spence smiles sadly. 

“Nothing, actually. I just, uh, couldn’t stop thinking I guess,” he explains quietly. You look at him concerned, putting your food down and wiping your hands on a napkin. 

“Are the nightmares back, Spence?,”

He shakes his head. 

“No. It’s more like reminiscing and I can’t seem to get it to stop. It’s in my dreams too but they’re not nightmares,” he answers, voice hesitant 

“What are the dreams about?,” you ask, wanting to get to the bottom of the problem. 

“You,” Spencer clarifies. You look at him surprised and your conversation from earlier slips into your head, though you figured Spencer was just distressed and needed company. You didn’t think anything of it, at the time. 

“Me?,” you say, voice barely a whisper. 

“I can’t get you out of my head, it seems like. And I’ve tried, we stopped talking and seeing each other and I figured it would work for the most part but then it didn’t. I know it’s selfish to call you after all this time but I don’t know how long I can keep up like this,” he recites, almost like he’d been planning this conversation for far too long. 

“I don’t know what to say. It really hurt when we stopped talking, and I didn’t know why so I figured you’d just weren’t interested or -” you start but Spencer cuts you off. 

“I never lost interest,” he replies firmly. Your face is warm but your heart is heavy. 

“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say,” you say, looking up at him. 

“I’m in love with you,” Spencer says calmly. 

“Oh,” 

Spencer's heart aches. You’re a little overwhelmed, to be honest. You knew you loved Spencer but you figured since the beginning it was unrequited so you tried to let it go, though it wasn’t working much. 

“Say something, please,” his voice is hoarse, as tears well up in the corners of his eyes. You hurry over to sit next to him as he turns to face you and you wipe his tears away. The feeling of your hands on his make everything in him still. 

“I love you too, Spence, I just wasn’t expecting the night to turn out like this, that’s all,” you say chewing your lip. Spencer stared at them longingly before looking up at you. 

“It hurt so bad when you started to distance yourself but I figured you were just trying to let me down easy and that you had something else you wanted to pursue. I didn’t know for sure so I never said anything, and just let it happen,” you say back, hands softly at the base of his neck, the other holding his hand. 

“I’m so sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention you just -,” he cuts himself off but the tug on his hand urges him forward. He shuts his eyes. 

“You make me so happy, and the thought of losing that happiness permanently scars me. It would’ve hurt to see you be with someone else but at least…” his voice becomes scarce, his throat constricted. 

“At least you would’ve been alive, not harms way, you know?,” he says. A sob chokes its way out of his throat before he lays his head int your shoulder and cries. You smooth the back of his hair, and let him.

“We have so many memories together, Y/N. And try as I might tp let them go, I couldn’t. I’ve never really been good at that, but it was different with you,” he cries softly, tears fall from your own eyes. 

“I was trying to move on, but nothing is the same without you, so I’m sorry for putting you in harm's way, but I don’t know what to do anymore. “ he finishes. He sits up and looks at you, eyes sullen. 

“I’m in love with you for who you are and what you do. Your job is too big a part of that for me to ignore. I know you’re worried, and I understand that but you deserve to be happy. It’s not careless for you to move on, or love freely. You and that damn BAU are there, just in case danger comes. I trust you and them, so please don’t hold back because you’re scared,” you say softly, pushing his hair out of his face. 

“Please be my girlfriend, Y/N,” he says suddenly. You look at him surprised, but you smile - tears and all and kiss him slow.

 When you pull back, he returns the favor and kisses you again. You stay like that for longer than either of you like to admit, holding each other close - lips desperate to be near each other, feel each other for just a second longer. Like the whole word will fall away if you don’t. 

“Okay, boy genius. I’ll be your girlfriend,” you say, smiling bright. Spencer tackles you with a hug, arms tight around you laid on top of you. The rain outside stops, as the sun peeks out from the skyline as the two of you kiss each other slowly. Too caught up to notice anything except each other. Too in love to bother.

Taglist: @cynbx​ @skrrrrrrrrrrt​ @zephyr-studiesjp​

[moonlightjeno]

swashbuckle and islands

a/n : this boy will be the death of me i love him so much. excuse my horrible grammar. my fav gif, and has nothing to do with the story lol but enjoyyy

genre : angst + fluff

pairing : readerxjeno & readerxmark

word count : 2.6k

okay,

okie, be ready for this mess

and excuse any non spaced words my space bar isn’t working properly

cool so your from an island

which imma call Skye bc i can

now your mum is originally from Skye, and had like second cousins of a cousin or whatever to throne but she married you father who was from the mainland 

which is a big no no but at the time she didn’t care bc she was so in love

skip forward a couple of years and the father is a complete ass

doesn’t work or really do much except order your mum around

anyone who has a wonderful father or really good parents im sorry don’t attack me this is for the story

:)

so, mum has had you and your older brother, whom your brother continues to admire your father bc he really just wants love and is hella lost in this mess of a world

Moving on

you used to have a really good relationship with your father until he changed.

cheated on your mother, and would blame it on you mum

in response you really just tried to help you mum get through this mess

big big mess

your brother, at the beginning helped and tried to calm your father  

boy kinda gave up, hela understandable

and left to the mainland to study medicine

wooot go him

but you were devastated because you were now alone 

now bc your brother has left your father has really worsened and blocks your freedom more and more

The point where you were literally only allowed to like go to school, work in the fields and be a servant

sksksk 

now remember how your mum was like the second cousin or smth to the royal crown?

Twas was importanttt

that managed to get you a study abroad year in london, 

queue your best friend mark entering

this boy showed you what freedom was and felt like for the first time since your father went off rails

iss been like a good 13 years and you're like 16 ??

I digress

mark literally made you feel more yourself because of his natural outgoing and easy behavior

It really was pretty amazing

And then the hiding and going out late at night was over

It was back to no friends, working at the field

sad life tbh

I must note, that because mark lived in canada bc why tf not 

y’all couldn’t really communicate

this is set when pirates where a thing, think of pirates of the caribbean 

I love those movies 

okie, progress two years 

of you thanks to you mum’s second cousin related human lol

you became friends with the cousins friends daughter 

y’all really had known each other since they were smol 

but hadn’t really been friends, bc the girl was pretty quite and a beaut

even her own father treated her better than she treated her own daughter

smh, ik this is a cliche live with it

but overall she was a really good person and kinda managed to sneak you around the island when you weren't on “duty” for your father

though its not that you didn’t like working in the fields bc you loved helping out with the animals and occasionally give food to those who were less fortunate than you and really couldn’t afford it

being a trooper, that you are you often told your friend idk wanna give her a name so y’all could come up with one if it were up to me it would be lilith about what you would see around the island and how the country was pretty not doing a okay

she would listen and talk about her own problems and how she wished she could travel and paint everything 

Bonding over traveling yep yeo

one day, you were supposed to work in the fields as you tend to have to do to the cows, and sheep and horses, while picking up the apples? from the trees ??

Idk i don’t farm

either wayyyy

you had finished your tasks early, and had struggled, and i mean stRuGgLed to get away from your father

he was in one of his moods today, shouting at everyone and refusing to admit he needed help

it was a constant reminder of every bad thing every failure that could happen in your life every thing you didn’t want for yourself or your mum who had slowly been getting sick and y’all had some money that could have helped her but your father thought that she deserved the illness

and i quote he said “everything happens for a reason child, if your mother had treated me and had been a good person this wouldn’t have happened to her, but alas some people deserve what they get”

skskskks 

he continued to say how “i on the other hand, have been a good man all my life, have always helped others so i don’t get sick”

this man i swear to god this has actually happened help

being very much done with your father who you really wished would just disappear and leave you and your mom who no longer lived with you but now lived with lilith to be

you had thought of running away for a very long time, though never knew how to get off the island it seemed impossible

sure you knew how to fight, somewhat by watching the guards and the little training mark you had taught your two years ago. 

missing mark hours but it wouldn’t compare to the guards of the royals who would never aid you

and even if they had, you had never learned how to sail which was ironic as the island you lived in wasn’t very large. Your only method of transportation has been your legs and your families faithful horse lethian ?? who really was your favorite out of all the animals 

running away from the trapped life had always felt like a dream, one that you had lived for for the small year in london with mark

you thought about running away again, the idea of sneaking into a trading boat slowly forming in your mind

you could take her your mum and lilith and travel the world go to london again and paris and canada and re-unite with the friend you missed the most

a smile had formed on your previous grim face, the dream something you held onto until your eyes opened and smoke covered the sky

a ringing began in your ears and you tried to stop it, your hands covering your ears in an attempt to stop the noise but the ringing only got stronger

the sky was black, shots were heard were the village people yelled in panic

you looked out towards the sea and could see the outline of a ship

a very large ship

oh shit 

a pirate ship

the flag blew proudly in the boat and from where you stood the bone white skull that contrasted against the black around it was made visible everytime the wind blew 

you gasped, everything anyone had told you about pirates were that they weren’t to be trusted

they were ruthless and would do nothing to stop from getting what they wanted

the stories you'd heard all came to the same conclusion you see the flag you run in the other direction

you pace quickened and in small time you were running towards the blazing village now up in smokes fire and fog covering the bakery, and fields

the school that had taught you the basics of reading and writing until girls weren’t allowed to attend was a blaze royal guards their black and purple uniforms waved their hands around and pointed their too heavy too unbalanced swords not being of much use

mom 

she should be safe

safe with lilith you thought, looking back towards were the small castle stood its bold flag still flying proudly in the grey and black sky

safe , shes safe you keep telling yourself a constant buzz that you repeated over and over to yourself in order to continue moving towards the castle walls

you only lasted a solid five minutes before the guards were holding the civilians back

you sighed angry these idiots being more preoccupied with holding back the citizens who were trying to get to safety behind the castle walls than actually dealing with the threat at hand

who hired them really??

being the stubborn human you are you decided to head towards the back entrance as yuo saw a flash of blonde hair headin towards the back gate of the castle 

oh no was your immediate thought their gonna get to lilith and mum

all the guards had been directed out of castle except a few that had stayed inside to keep the royal fam safe the infirmary had been left unguarded

you looked around trying to look for a familiar face, a familiar guard who youd seen at a practice lilith had dragged you too she had said it was too “admire suitors” you had shaken your head and laughed 

you had no interest in tying yourself to a man that would treat you like something to throw around but you let her revel in her fantasies 

no familiar face was found so you turned and ran towards the blonde head you had seen walk towards the back entrance grabbing a sword from one of the dead guards 

your cursed the clothes women were given making it impossible to run in impossible to fight in 

the blonde boy turned around at your approach, he was young you noticed

probably your age, his grin was deviant and his eyes were mocking as she approached 

“please” you tried “don’t hurt hurt anyone else” 

the boy looked at you with a puzzled look at laughed, slashing away at the thorns and vines that encircled the back door to the castle as he found the lock and tried to break it open

you got closer, looking at the broken glass bottles that littered the floor and torches that lit up the fogged street 

the boy was too busy with the look to realize the girl that had come behind him and hit him in the back of the head with the swords dull pommel the boy let put a yelp before collapsing at your feet

your small victory lasted a small time and before you noticed the boy you had tied with the thorns and vines from the door, which continued to be locked 

your mum and lilith as far as you knew safe

began to stir and as his eyes opened another boy appeared at the end of the alley

his hair seemed to be part of the night sky, falling over his dark eyes. 

“mark!” the black haired boy cried, his hand at his scimitar pointed directed towards you his other hand had managed to slip a dagger out of god knows where and sliced mark’s binds

mark the name sent a shock through you and you took a closer look at the young boy whose eyes were now wide open no anger shown

 but instead amusement and the joyous spark you had once known

he looked so different 

the black haired boy still had a sword at your throat and you swallowed briefly 

“mark?” you gasped feeling the tip of the sword against your neck a small movement and it would nick your skin, blood would swell

‘Mark’ looked at you again and laughed, 

the black haired boy looked confused “let her go jeno” 

jeno was like ‘excuse me ? she knocked you unconscious no i'm not doing that’ he didn't say it but mark understood and laughed again this time it was more mischievous a feral grin adorned his features

“let her go, she’s coming with us” jeno and you were both like huh? has this boy gone mad?

probably letss be realll

“umm no im not” you snapped at the boy you once knew, you glared at jeno who had regrettably removed his sword away from your neck but had placed the dagger threateningly close to your back ashe forced you to move along

you didn’t get an answer from mark who still seemed very entertained by the whole situation

he had changed so much since you’d last seen him *sigh*

you three walked back towards the village and you hadn’t realized how the screams of pain and fear were no longer heard

more than a few guards littered the floors and you tried not to gasp as jeno forcefully continued to move you towards the sea its waters black 

the walk to the pirate boat seemed to last ages, the sun had begun to set in the sky casting dark purple and red shadows above the black water that didn’t reflect any light. It broke your heart to see the usually clear water be black, the animals that lived in the waters probably struggling to survive.

when you finally arrived, the panic began to settle in again. you didn’t know if your mum and lilith were safe, you didn’t know what would happen and the boy you knew two years ago had changed so much that you could no longer read what he was thinking 

the ship loomed in front of you, you hear the small buzz of chatter from the ship and laughter

why was there laughter in such a horrible place ??

“Come on” mark said, already walking getting onto the ship, not looking back at the mess they had left behind

You no longer felt the sharp prick of a dagger or sword at your back, but instead it had been replaced by a strong hand guiding you towards the ship

the contact startled you, and you straightened and continued to walk forward the ship only a few feet away, you still held onto the rock that you had hit mark with, your sword taken away by jeno

you forced your feet to stop moving, because one more step and you’d be on the pirate’s boat, and ducked, and made a weak attempt at attacking the black haired boy behind you hitting him with the small rock you had on the leg

you begin to move away from the boat. The victory lasted a solid second before jeno had his arms around you, pinning your hands behind your back. No longer smiling, or understanding in his dark eyes. you glared at him and then at mark who had finally turned around, a sort of sadness passed over his features before he spoke

“you can’t run away y/n” he said calmly. “remember in london? when you dream about running away, leaving this island and  exploring the world? away from your father?”

his words shocked you, but you didn’t want to leave your mum she had no one else 

“i can’t just leave mark !! my mum, she’s still there and i can’t just leave her with father” a look of recognition and understanding flitted through jeno’s face and reflected in mark

“i know, i know but if you stay here and go back” the boy shook his head, the dark of the night making his blonde hair a dull light in the fog, 

you knew, that in many ways he was right. if you did go back the villagers had seen you with the pirates, being taken by them as the village had burned down and you weren't scared. the worst scenario would be that if you did go back they would imprison you, ask you for information 

hurt mum, hurt lilith even is she was part of the royals

you felt the tears well up in your eyes, and refused to let them fall

“we aren’t all that bad” peeped jeno’s voice who had softened again, until you looked at him and his gaze hardened

you forced yourself a small smile, and placed your foot on the board of the boat 

“Let’s go swashbucklers” you said, 

after all, the stories you’d heard had come from your father, and all his stories were a lie.

a/n : i hope y’all enjoyed that. ik there wasn't much jeno lol but i’m planning on king this a series if you want? send me an ask, if you do! either way, 

peace out luvs,

stay safe

[katsukikitten]

Fading Summer

He held the purple controller with deadly hands, sitting shoulder to shoulder, feet from the TV with Kirishima, Denki, and Deku. The N64 you brought into the dorms has been the center of attention since you pulled it out of the dull cardboard box . Purple grape with one purple grape controller and the other jungle green. The other two controllers where black and midnight blue that you, the ash blonde, Kiri and Mina spent hours....weeks finding so more people could play either Mario kart or Smash bros together.

At first the scarlet eyed boy was aprahensive about the old gaming system. He saw how Kirishima and Pikachu would spend hours upon hours on their shared switch that could have been spent studying or training.

That was until he was challenged by you one lazy afternoon.

"Come on Katsu play one game with us!!!" Eiji begged, patting a spot between you and himself. Katasuki lounged on the couch, legs outstretched as he was planning to watch a movie before you two barged in.

Before you used your puppy dog eyes to get the remote so you two could play.

"No shark face." He sneered over the rim of his book. He locked eyes with you before a smile crept onto those soft lips.

"He's just scared he'll get his asked kicked is all Eiji." She said haunty, as she selected her character.

"Oh like hell I am." He snarls, climbing from the couch and forcing you and Kiri to scoot away from one another to make room.

He never could ignore the call of a challenge. And from then on he bested everyone, everytime in whatever game but you.

When he asked why you wouldn't want a switch instead your face lit up, as if reliving the bitter sweet nostalgia as you said.

"I've just had so many good times playing this with my friends and family. I just can't give it up."

So he had learned to love the feeling of the smooth plastic in his hands as this small thing was something that made him feel closer to you. Especially now that you two spent countless summer hours right here in front of the TV, laughing, shoulder to shoulder with a notebook keeping score of each others wins.

A notebook that lies open to the dark eyed boy, displaying the harsh tallies of class 1As winnings, everyone had at least one inky black tally before Katsuki played.

Everyone but you who had been absent since finishing dinner. His eyes wander to the stairs leading to the girls dorms before "PLAYER ONE WINNER" is bellowed from the TV.

"Come on Katsu let someone else win!" Mina whines as she pouts on the couch

"Nah you dip shits should just get better." He says dropping the controller to make his way to the couch.

"Where's Y/N?" Deku asks earning a glare from the ash blonde for asking first, "She's missing the last tournament before school starts again."

"Oh she said she wasn't feeling too well at dinner." Momo says, bringing the snacks from the kitchen. "She said she was going to bed."

You press the heels of your palms into your eyes.

"Get your shit together." You growl harshly at your reflection. Fat tears threatening to spill again, "Why are you crying over something so fucking stupid!"

Your reflection doesn't answer as you stare yourself in the eye, it only mirrors you splashing hot water onto your face as you scrub a towel over your cheeks.

When you hold eye contact again, it's as if you weren't crying.

You paced in your room, damning yourself for thinking sleep would soothe the weighted void that sits in your chest. Chiseling away at your heart until you were compelled to move.

To run, if even for a moment to have a taste of the dying summer air on your tongue one more time.

You stalk down the stairs quietly, having waited long enough for the tournament to be over. The light from the TV glows faintly in the dark hallway, you eased into the shadows on silent feet with your eyes on the prize.

"Oi, You're not as quiet as you think you are." You jump what feels like six feet in the air. Hand hovering over the cool handle of the front door.

The gruff voice comes from the direction of the living room and you do not need to turn around to know who it belongs too.

You thought for sure that whoever was in the living room was either knocked out or absorbed in the late night TV.

You feel your heart hammer in your chest, blinking furiously at the lingering tears. You're afraid your voice might give you away but your hesitation will tip him off.

"Oh Katsu, you're up so late. And on the first school night!" You tease him as you normally would, though you keep your back to him, he sucks his teeth.

"And where are you going at 10:30 at night?" You don't have to see him to know he is crossing his arms with distaste.

"Im just stepping out to the convenience store." You huff, not sure how much longer you can use your voice evenly.

The sun had already set so early tonight compared to the rest of summer. The sun no longer wanting to kiss the earth, to kiss you for over eight hours a day.

No it was dwindling and dwindling fast.

And that *scared* you.

"This late? By yourself? I don't think so." He says darkly. Hiding the concern in his voice the only way he knows how, with malice.

"Oh Katsuki-kun. I'm a strong independent young hero. I can handle myself for a ten minute walk." Except it won't be a ten minute walk, your feet will urge you further. You pull the handle and with it the door just for it to be slammed shut by a hot palm. He looms over you now, so close you can feel his breath on your ear when he speaks.

"Not by yourself. It can wait til morning. If its medicine I'll get it." You feel his eyes on you as they survey, you bite your lip debating on tricking him.

On sending him on a wild goose chase just so you could sneak out on that ten minute walk.

But you think better of it, he would be honest with you if the shoe was on the other foot and I'm sure he'd want you to be honest now.

Whether you wanted to admit it or not you knew in the back of your head that Bakugou Katsuki could read you like a book and vice versa.

It was only natural with how much time the two of you spent together this summer.

This now decaying summer that you could smell in the air after the rain, the slight smell of decomposing leaves that is so faint you almost think it false until Mina made that damn comment this afternoon. Wrapped in her hot pink towel, yellow eyes glued on Kiri who wrestles with Katsu in the pool.

*"Its gonna be winter before we know it." *

And those words hadn't left you since.

Not even now under the heated gaze of your crush.

The one who kinda reminded you of summer itself.

Hot, explosive like a storm and almost unpredictable.

"I'm going Katsuki." You say darkly, most you faulter but he is not like most, "So you can either let me go alone or you come with me."

He scarlet eyes rover over you, unsure of what you're feeling in the low cast of the moonlight from outside but your tone tells him something is wrong whatever it is.

Something tells him you aren't going to the corner store either.

"Fine." He bites out, resisting the urge to push you against the door to tell you that you are not going, instead he pushes away, "Just let me grab my fucking phone."

He walks backwards to the living room sending you a glare before turning on his heel.

A glare in warning not to leave without him. So you don't.

He huffs as the two of you walk in silence, eyes watching the corner store fade behind the both of you.

"So where are we really headed?" He sighs in mock agony.

"You'll see!!" Your mood has improved some, at least since you pulled in a giant breathe of air when the two of you stepped outside.

The crickets still singing in the warm night, calling to you in their song.

Your eyes look to the sky to see the full moon, your whole body relishing the warmth of the night time air. Smile so wide on your face that it hurts.

A smile that Katsuki finds contagious as his lips turn upwards, eyes glued to you.

You hear a clock chime signaling the time and you gasp, grabbing onto Katsuki's rough hand, dragging him as you break into a full spring.

"We're gonna miss the train!" You yell to him which encourages him to keep pace.

Once the doors close behind you, you both grip your knees gasping for air.

The only other person on the late night train smiles, eyes twinkling with sudden memories of their own late nights.

"Where the fuck are we going?" Katsuki asks with little bite in his voice as you settle in front of the window.

"Its a secret!!!" You sing song as the train rushes by scenery that he watches you drink up as if this is the last time you'll see it.

It isn't until the train crosses the bridge does he realize you two are headed to the last stop.

Which come faster than he'd like, only now is he realizing he could watch you stare out at the stars all night, the train chimes overhead and you stand pulling him once more.

You find yourselves in a huge crowd and you smile pulling him further through the throngs of people. You stop when you see little stands set up every where filled to the brim even so late at night. You stop suddenly to ask a woman in a beautiful yukata that shimmers in pinks and golds like the setting sun.

"Excuse me what is this?" You ask politely, your curiosity earning a huge smile.

"Ah this is the End of the Summer Festival!" When she says the word end you squeeze Katsuki's hand tighter, "All things summer is here for you to enjoy!"

He watches your face almost become crest fallen.

"Why so late in the day," His tone comes out harsh and the woman glances between the two of you giving a small blush.

"Ah it's an all day event so everyone can enjoy it! Some people work so late they were missing it and others just couldnt say good bye to summer before sunset. Please enjoy the festival!"

You blink hard and try to take in your surroundings. You spy many little market stands filled with food, games and hell even an arcade.

Katsuki does not pull away from your soft grip on his hand, in fact his interlocks your fingers so you can pull him better. You don't look back when he does it and you don't look back as you pull him through the stands.

You start by buying you both Yakitori, followed by mouthwatering Ayu, some Takoyaki and all sumed up by sweet Taiyaki.

That is until you spot the famous colored cotton candy shaped like a fat unicorn horn.

Katsuki does not complain while he waits in line with you, your eyes finding your next adventure. He does not complain when you ask him to take a picture of you underneath the paper lanterns, that hit you in such a way that he cannot take his eyes off of you, or your smiling face as you stare at him.

You do not realize he sends the picture to himself as you slide your hand back into his offering him some of the sugary string to which he takes a large bite.

Letting the sugar dissolve agaisnt his tongue he wonders if your lips will be as sweet if not sweeter. He blushes but you do not notice as you drag him to a game.

"Step right up! Only 500 yen!" The man calls, "Break the record of seven watermelons with one punch and win the grand prize!"

Your eyes widen with glee as you see the oversized cat plush holding your favorite dessert, a taiyaki bun, in its obnoxiously cute black paws. The thing is so cute and sweet just looking at it makes Katsuki a little nauseous but when he sees the want glinting in your eyes he reluctantly releases your hand with out your asking to crack his neck.

"Alright line up as many as you've got." His eyes gleam with competative arrogance, forearm dancing with small explosions.

"Alright. If you can do 10 then I will throw in 10,000 yen." The elderly man says smugly lining up over 25 watermelons.

"Heh. Get ready to pay up gramps. Oh and of course I want that cat too."

"Sure thing kid. But you gotta get seven if you wanna win that for your pretty girlfriend over there." He laughs and Katsuki's cheeks burn with rage and blush.

He winds up and packs it with punch as he slams his fist into the first watermelon obliterating it and the shock from the blast causes the other 25 watermelons to explode as well. You squeal with delight.

"KATSUKI-KUN YOU WON!" Practically jumping with joy over his triumph confirming that he would do it all over again just to see you that happy.

Even if it took him braking 25,000 watermelons he would fucking do it for just a glimpse of the smile you've been hiding the past few days.

Katsuki smirks with manic malice as he jumps up to grab the oversized cat before holding out his hand.

The elderly man stands in uter shock as he stares down the red mess before him hesitant as he digs around for his little silver box of cash. He counts out the 10k yen sending you two on your way.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You say as you squeeze the hell out of the cat, still jumping. Katsu sucks his teeth unable to keep the genuine smile off of his own face.

"It was nothing." He says as you slip your ever soft palm to his. His skin buzzes everytime yours touches his and he gladly let's you take the lead.

"Ah I'm thirsty after all that excitement." You beam, Bakugou spies a soda stand, fingering the easily got yen in his pocket.

"I'll get us a cherry soda, stay put." He says as he stands you off to the side since the line is hatefully long. He stares down at his phone at the picture of you he just took, smiling like a mad man as he waits.

You will always be worth the wait.

"This is your final warning." You growl darkly, causing Bakguou to look up with sharp eyes. He sees you placing the stuffed animal on the bench as this guy harasses you.

"Come on sugar tits." Katsuki practically blows up in line then and there as he stalks towards your back. He slips his right arm around your front pressing into your left hip bone pushing you into his body. He tilts his head as he left hand ignites inches from the guys face.

"Did you just fucking call *my* girl sugar tits?" His voice is so dark near your ear that you blush, letting your quirk fade from your palms.

And did he just say my girl?

Your gut clenches as he pulls you impossibly closer. Hand still letting off pops.

"I think you owe her a fucking apology before I make you sorry you ever thought you could disrespect a woman like that you stupid fuck."

"I..I'm sorry." The guy stammers with his now burnt off eyebrows as he bows deeply.

"Grab Neko-chan, Y/N." Katsuki purrs in your ear barely letting you go to do so. You hold onto the cat with all your might, heart banging against your rib cage as you overthink the encounter.

He was just doing it to be nice right?

You hesitantly reach for his hand before changing your mind. He glances at you with searing red eyes offering you his open palm.

"Where to next?" He asks, you stare at the invitation, frozen for a moment before you grab onto him with a strong hold.

"This way!" You smile taking him and Neko-chan in tow. You lead him to the small arcade challanging him to see who can win the most in street fighter.

He somehow kicks your ass by one match and you smile at this genuine excitement for victory. He catches you staring as you blush, nuzzling half of your face into Neko-chan's fur, making your eyes seem larger and doe like.

Katsuki swallows, more blush dusting his cheeks as he asks is a gruff tone.

"Whatchya starin at?" You giggle in response.

"Nothing!" You fight another giggle, arms tightening around black fur, "I just like your real smile is all."

He sucks his teeth and looks away not trusting himself to ignore the urge to shove that damn plush out of the way to see the smile you're hiding behind it, or to keep himself from kissing those lips that are curled up.

"I'll be right back." He leans in close to you with nothing separating you two but Neko-chan, "Try not to let anyone else hit on ya kay?"

"K...kay." He's pretty sure that's the first time you've stumbled over your words, positive that's the first time he's seen your cheeks so red.

On the way back from the bathroom he spies two little necklaces in the display case of prizes. One is a purple N64 console and the other is the matching controller. He likes the idea of them around your neck thanks to him and taps the counter with his freshly won 10,000 yen tapping at the set.

He produces the two small chains and watches as your eyes light up.

"Aaahhh!" You say separating the two as you slide the N64 console around your neck, holding out the controller to him. He frowns as he glares at it.

"You're supposed to wear both." He growls, though his grimace fades with every second you stare at him.

"No silly they are best friend necklaces!!!" You half sequal as you shove it over his neck. You tuck it beneath his black skull shirt, "See now it's our secret."

You smile a devilish smirk before you glance at the time on the analog clock behind him. You grab onto his hand with a death grip.

"Katsuki come on we are gonna miss it!" You whine as you drag him back into the busy street further and further through the festival until the people are so few and far between he wonders where you're taking him.

That is until his smells the tang of salted air brought in by what is normally a refreshing breeze that feels chilled from the changing seasons.

You rush him to the sand, breathing in the heavily summer scent, kicking off your shoes to feel the once warmed sand.

"Come on Katsuki-kun come on!" You urge as he fights with his own shoes willing to follow you to the ends of the Earth and it feels that way where you're taking him. Past a small bonfire to a secluded part of the beach where the moon hangs high over the ocean.

One can see all of the stars in the universe there in that little spot, his eyes look up drinking it all in before looking at an even more beautiful sight.

His heart skips a beat as your eyes dance in the starlight, cheeks now moon kissed and hair ruffled from the wind off the ocean, you close your eyes for just a moment to breath it all in.

The last bit of summer that you can smell before it all begins to disappear into sharper, more crisp smells.

He's close enough to you that he can smell the salt and sugar clinging to your skin, to your lips. He sighs, content for once in his life. Then the stars begin to fall in the deep reflection of your eyes.

"Katsu look!" You whisper shout and he follows your gaze to watch the sky fall.

"Make a wish make a wish!" You urge again and he silently prays that this moment will never end.

But sadly it does, as quickly as it came it went and your crest fallen face has his heart jumping into his throat. He attempts to swallow it down.

"Something wrong?" He asks so softly you wonder if it is still Bakugou sitting next to you and that one little question causes the tears to spill.

Yes something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Oi..." He pulls you to him shielding your tears from the world as his hand subconsciously trailed up and down your spine, "Why are you crying? Are you not enjoying the last bit of summer?"

"That's it Katsu that's the problem. S..sum..." You choke on your tears before continuing, "Summer is ending and before you know it, it will be winter again. And then a new year and then summer will have flown by faster and faster until the next thing you know my whole life has slipped through my fingers. And I will be left feeling as if I missed all of it. Just like I am now, like I always do."

You fist his shirt as you cry, let it all out all the horrible thoughts of your life going by in the blink of an eye, as every new winter brings you more and more unhappiness and you are unsure why.

You only find solace in summer as things seem to slow down. When the days are stretched deep into the evening and each hour is blessed with such happy memories. Times of you with your N64, of you spending many hours outside baking in the heat of the sun, of miserable days when even the icecream is happy to melt. And especially this summer, *this* night that you've spent with Katsuki.

Memories you can never replace and pray

Hope and plead to any Kamisama who is listening that they will never allow you to forget.

"Hey it's all right." He soothes, "We can come back to this festival every year to help say good bye."

You hiccup, your tears slowing.

"And if that doesn't work I'll lasso the fucking sun for you. I'll be your summer incarnate. I'll do anything, *anything* to keep my girl smiling. To keep you smiling. All you have to do is fucking name it."

You blink away the tears as you stare up into his face and you can tell he's serious that he means it. Red fireworks erupt over head, lighting his eyes with an undying fire and you kiss him. Kiss him how you wanted to all summer. Slow burn that quickly ignites as your hands grab onto one another. Each fire work encouraging deeper and deeper kisses until you pull away. Almost gasping for breath. Your skin feeling heated as it does when you lie out in the sun too long. You hold his gaze, heart fluttering, eyes pricking with tears once more.

"Then lasso me the fucking sun, Katsuki."

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Can We Dance? (Hoseok x You ONESHOT)

A/N: My first Jung Hoseok fic! Im so sorry for being super late with this request but... HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS SONG IS UNDER MY MOST PLAYED PLAYSLIST IN SPOTIFY? hehe. this is another one of my attempt at fluff, I hope you enjoy this! 💜

MASTERLIST

I know I don't know you, But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl. That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

"So... still havent found your balls to talk to her I see?"

Hoseok lick his lips, tasting the bitter taste of the alcohol he just gulped down and turned his head to the source of the mocking voice he knows oh so well. Who else other than his emotionless best friend, Min Yoongi of course.

"Shut up. I have two perfectly working balls and I would gladly show it to you if you want," he glared at his friend who just chuckle.

"No thank you. Already seen it and ler me tell you, I am not impressed," he take a swig of his drink and turned his gaze on the dancefloor, where Hoseok has been looking at ever since he entered this club for the after party. "You know... you are bordering stalkerish creepy right now, staring at her for hours and at every other parties too?" Yoongi softly told him as he looks at the girl who took his friend's attention dancing happily with her friends. "You are Jung Hoseok. The talented rapper from Bangtan, and the fact that she attended most of our after parties meant she already probably knows who you are Hobi. It wouldnt hurr to just talk to her for real. Just use that balls you are so proud of and ask her out,"

"I didnt say I want to ask her out. I just want to ask her to dance with me," Hoseok mumble making Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"Isnt that the same thing in your dictionary?" Hoseok kept quiet. There's some truth in what Yoongi is saying. Yoongi knows him the best out from the rest of Bangtan, meaning he also knows that Hoseok has a very weird way of finding his next 'soulmate' as he put it. He has to feel some kind of a chemistry when he dances with her. Other man may asks a girl out to get to know her better, but Hoseok is confident he can feel if they are right for each other just by dancing with the girl or watching the girl dance.

And he has been watching Y/N dance for a countless of times.

And everytime she did, his heart beats faster and faster, it almost burst out from his chest.

And he is aching to just dance with her... and finally get to know her for real.

"Come on Hobi. Man up. What do you got to lose, right?" Yoongi patted his back and walked off to the rest of the boys, swirling his drink, hoping for once, his best friend would take his advice.

Everything Yoongi. I will loose everything if she rejects me.

Here we go again, another drink I'm caving in, And stupid words keep falling from my mouth.

Y/N has managed to catch his attention from the first moment he saw her entering the club for one of their after parties months ago. His eyes followed her throughout the night and after subtly asking around, he found out that she is some kind of a VIP, a daughter of some rich conglomorate. She is not a fan, they told him, she's only here because of her friends, which explain why he never seen her at any of his concerts or fanmeets, but always around at the clubs and parties. He admit that her beauty is what caught his eyes at first but the way she danced and looking like she is having the greatest time of her life is what hooked him in.

Finally trying to take Yoongi advice and determined to atleast get close to her tonight, Hoseok made sure he finishes a few more glasses of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on, feeling the liquid courage making his adrenaline pumping.  He looks around and see his hyungs and Namjoon are settled in a corner booth while the three maknaes are goofing around on the dance floor by themselves.

Ah, he wished he is as carefree as those three childish maknaes, and not sweating his palms off with just the thought of going up and talking to her. He straighten the crease on his shirt and swiped his hair back, after deeming himself presentable enough, he makes his way to the dancefloor where Y/N is.

As he stumble within the first few steps that he took, he soon realized that maybe he took too much liquid courage, more than his nervous self can handle and there's nothing he can do to stop himself now when he is already directly standing in front of her. He cant turn back. He would look like a fool! He can hear the squeals coming from her friends at his presence.

This is a Bangtan party and a member of Bangtan is standing in front of them, of course they would squeal, Hoseok thought. But not her.

Y/N stopped dancing and looked at him, her head cocked to the side, confused as to what he is doing just standing there in front of her in the middle of the crowded dance floor.

"Yes? Can I help you? Do you need anything?" Her soft voice sounds like and angel to him and as he smile to himself he realized something.

Shit. She's talking to me!

"Hi. Y...Y/N," was all he could managed to mumble out and Hoseok feels like slapping himself. He never even talk or make direct eye contact with the girl before and the first word he said to her is her name? Stalker much Hoseok?

He can see Y/N's eyes widen in confusion as the rest of her girl friends giggling, shoving her closer to him before they suddey dissappeared to the other side of the dance floor.  What supportive friendsn Hoseok remind himself to thank them if they ever got together one day.

"You look hot... and extremely sexy when you dance," What the fuck did I just say?

Instead of getting angry or looking appaled, or thinking that he is some creepy pervert, Y/N tried to hide her smile from the obviously intoxicated man in front of her.

"Urmm... thank you?"

"You dance really well. I wish you would grind with me someday," the words came out almost as a slur from him but his wide eyes that is looking straight at her makes Y/N know that he is indeed talking to her.

"Huh?"

"Dance! I mean dance!" Hoseok quickly correct his words. Shit, what did he drink just now? And how much did he drink? Stupid words that he never knew he could even say are tumbling non stop from his mouth. Y/N laughs, a sound that seems like music to his ears. Even more when he is in his intoxicated self. Hoseok wants nothing more than a meteor to hit right now, just so he could be taken out from this embarassing misery.

You know that I mean well, My hands were meant for somewhere else.

However, Hoseok takes her laughter as a sign to proceed and gets closer to her. He puts his arms around her waist and starts to sway their body slowly to the music, carefully looking at her, gauging for a reaction. Y/N just smile and placed her hands on his shoulder, deciding maybe she should give this drunk male a chance. He doesnt look like a pervert... more like a dork? An extremely cute dork.

"Are you sure you are capable to dance right now?" She laughs. Hoseok cant focus on anything else other than the close proximity of their faces. He studied every curve of her face, her nose, her lips, the way her eyelashes touch her cheeks when she closes her eyes... and her scent. God, its more intoxicating than the alcohol he has been consuming. Hoseok cant believe he is holding her right now. That she is actually smiling at him. Without realizing his hands starts to roam around her body, slowly carresiong her sides seductively and occasionally moving lower and lower, right againts her ass as he grinds himself on her.

"Urm..." Y/N moved her hand that is on his shoulders and grab his arms that is encircling her, all the while pushing him nack a little to stop him from continuing to grind on her.  "I dont think we are that close yet,"

Hoseok try to understand what Y/N is probably talking about, but with the mixture of alcohol in his body and the still unreal feeling of being this close to her, his mind is clouded and dizzy, not being able to digest anything that's really happening around him.

"What do you mean?"

"Urm..."

"Oh for fucks sake," Hoseok felt his hands that is encircling Y/N's waist, or more specific, carressing and roaming her entire body like some starving man gets pulled away by none other than Min Yoongi.

"Hey Yoongs! What are-"

"I'm sorry. He is not a good drunk. He  cant handle alcohol well. But you know he meant well right? He's a sweet guy when he's sober. Really," Yoongi cut him off and look straight at Y/N.

"Yes. Yes. Dont worry. He didnt do anything too bad. But I think you should bring him back now. He needs to rest," Y/N giggled before turning around and walk away to find her friends.

Yoongi dragged Hoseok across the floor to their private booth where the other members are already seated and laughing like crazy, fully witnessing what just happened.

"I was finally talking to Y/N Yoongs! As per your advice! Why did you drag me away?" He grumbled as he sat down, looking around bewildered, still not understanding why the others are laughing.

"I told you to talk to her. Oh I dont know, maybe properly ask her to dance or buy her a drink or something. Not grope and grind on her like some horny teenager who just hit puberty in a strip club!" Yoongi snarled.

"Huh?" Hoseok is throughly confused to what Yoongi is saying. Did he really do that?

"Hyung is so wasted he dont even know what he did!" Jimin was laughing like crazy, his hands slapping Taehyung's thigh who is seating besides him who is also laughing like crazy, holding his stomach.

"Why did you get so drunk for anyway?" Jin questioned as the realization hits Hoseok. He remembered that he only hold her waist... right? Did he do something more? To the point Yoongi has to come out and drag him away?

"Shit. I need another drink,"

Oh, oh, one more drink and I should go, Oh, oh, but maybe she might like me though. Oh, oh, I just can't think of what to say, Should I go, should I stay? Just can't let her slip away.

"I think you have had enough Hobi," Namjoon give a small warning, giving his friend a little pat in the back.its rare to see Hoseok gets drunk, especially during a party. And what just happened is exactly the reason why.

"Nope. Really need this one. Just one more and maybe I should just head back," he mumbled as the waitress placed a few fresh bottles and mixtures in a glass on their table.

"Are you sure hyung? She's still here," Jungkook points to the far end of the club where Y/N is sitting down in a corner table laughing with her friends. "She looks like she's having a hard time, doesnt seem angry or traumatized to me. Maybe she liked what you did just now," Jungkook winked at Hoseok while making a provocative grinding move, intending to copy what Hoseok did earlier, making Jin frowned.

"I really dont want to hear you talking about all the nasty things your hyungs do Kook. Im not ready for you to grow up," Seokjin grumbled and down his whole cup making the whole table laughs, except for Hoseok who is still eyeing Y/N's table.

"I dont know what to do. Should I go and try again? Or should I just go home and forgot this whole night ever happen? She seems to like me though. Doesnt she? What do you think? She was laughing and smiling the whole time I was talking to her right?" He rambled on, eyes drifting from one member to the other, asking for answers.

"Its really up to you Hobi. If you want to talk to her, she's right there. If you dont plan to, lets all just go. I'm hungry," Jin grumble, laying out the choices for him.

"I really want to talk to her again. To make sure she knows I'm not some drunk pervert," he lowered his gaze to his lap. "But I wont know what to say when I'm standing in front of her. I will just act stupid again,"

"That... I'm sure you will do," Yoongi agreed without hesitation. Hoseok glared at his friend who is definitely not helping his nerves right now.

"What should I do guys. Should I leave? Should I stay? Urghhh," Hoseok wailed out loudly as he continues to stare at Y/N. "I really dont want her to slipped away..." he added softly. The table turn quiet as they realized how serious Hoseok's feelings towards Y/N are. They all know he has been checking her out for month, but no one other than Yoongi knows how severe his feelings are for her. But there is nothing they can do for him, really.

"I really like her though..."

I talk a lot of shit when I'm drinking, baby, I'm known to go a little too fast. Don't mind all my friends, I know they're all crazy, But they're the only friends that I have.

After a few minutes of contemplating, Hoseok finally decides to just leave the club. He is never going to find the courage to ever face her again tonight anyway. And he definitely needs to sober up right now. No more stupid drunk mistakes.

Just like Jin had suggested, the boys asks their manager to stop at a restaurant as they are all starving. Partying was never really their scene anyway. They always prefer laughter with each other paired with bottomless good food at their comfort restaurants. Hoseok is finally sober enough now for coherent conversations and as they are busy stuffing their faces and laughing over Jin's lame jokes, Taehyung elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch. What the hell Tae?!"

"Look," he points towards the door and Hoseok's heart almost stop beating as he saw Y/N and few of her friends, lesser than the group she hangs out with in the club, entering.

"Oh fuck," Yoongi cursed under his breath as all seven boys looks at the door. "This is really fate Hobi,"

All seven of them duck their heads, and since they were seated at the back corner, its impossible for Y/N or her friends to see them once they sat down, which is a relieve for Hoseok still unsure about his next move.

"Shit. What should I do? Should I try again? Or should I just ignore her?" Hoseok is panicking and sweating, making the rest of the boys quietly smile and laughing at his disheveled state. He is always the mood maker, the happy one. Its weird to see him in constant panic and rambling to himself like this.

"I think you should talk to her. You are all sober now. She can finally see how much of asunshine you are this time," Namjoon suggested.

"But I dont know if I can do it sober though..."

"Of course you can hyung. Just think of it as... performing. As if you are dancing in front of millions of people!" Jimin smile at him, giving him the encouragement he needs. Jimin knows as much as he do how dancing is always able to calm him down. He smile at the younger boy and close his eyes, trying to calm himself.

"Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to wait until she finish eating and I'mq going to do it. I will find out once and for all if she likes me back or not," Hoseok finally state with utter determination.

"That's the Jung Hoseok we all know and love!" They shouted and whistle happily.

After about 30 minutes of the most nerve wrecking dinner he has ever had, he saw Y/N and her friends stood up and making their way out after paying and bowing to the cashier.

"Lets go guys. Lets get Hobi her girl!" Jin excitedly pump his fist as he stood up.

"Really hyung?" Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"Well, excuse me for being a supportive hyung!"

They start to bicker, throwing comments back and forth as they walked out, not realizing they are already outside of the restaurant, stsnding in the cold walkway where Y/N and her group is also there, eyes already looking at them because of the noise.

"Shut up guys!" Hoseok said through gritted teeth and motioned towards the group of girls who looks surprised in front of them. Who would have thought they would meet the whole of Bangtan in the middle of the empty walkway on this cold night.

"Hi... 1.2...We are Bangtan!" Namjoon suddenly said and Hoseok face palmed himself. He definitely feel like jumping into a black hole and dissappear when the three maknaes followed the leader, bowing at the cue, impulsively doing their official greeting.

"What the fuck are you doing Joon? Now she will think we are weird!" Hoseok hissed at his friend who is standing beside him.

"Im sorry. I panicked okay. We are all just standing here looking at one another not saying anything. I should at least greet them!" Namjoon defended himself, all the while both their eyes are on Y/N and a smile plastered on their faces.

"Yah! You could just say hello like a normal person!" Hoseok hissed back.

"Urm.. guys? We can actually hear you..." Y/N interrupted their conversation, smiling while her friends are giggling like there's no tomorrow. Hoseok shoved Namjoon away, taking a few steps foward toward her and smile.

"Urh hi,"

"Hi. Urm. You are the drunk guy," she points at him making him nodded shyly. "I dont know if I should introduced my self, I think you already know who I am but still, I'm Y/N," Y/N feels obligated to introduced herself since the boys had so nicely did their introduction to them earlier. "We dont have a group. Sorry, no fancy introductions from us. By the way, that was a nice way to introduce yourselves," she teased and waved behind Hoseok's shoulder, acknowleding the other members.

"Thank you," Hoseok nodded sheepishly before he close his eyes in embarassment to hear a chorus of "Hiii Y/N" and excited giggles behind him. He can also hear faint questions such as 'Are you going to be Hobi-hyunf's girlfriend?' which followed with a smack and a 'shut up'. He turned his head slowly to see his six brothers grinning and waving back like crazy to Y/N.

God, why are they doing this to him? Is embarassing a fellow brother in front of their crush a life mission for them?

"Please guys, shut up and behave!" He hissed between gritted teeth, hoping Y/N wont hear him but he guess she did since her laugh got louder.

"I'm sorry for theit... strange behaviour, " Hoseok bowed apologically. "They are not normal. Most of the time crazy and unwell, but I am proud to day that they are my friends. And-"

"And you love them," Y/N finishes for him with a smile. Hoseok smile softly at her, happy that she understands and being extremely okay with it. He can already see getting along well with his brothers in the future.

"Its okay. I understand. My friends are not normal either," she motioned to the group of girls behind her who is still giggling and teasing them as if they were not there. "But what can I say, they are the only friends that I got,"

"That's great then. We already have a similarity!" Hoseok tried to joke to ease the tension but the road fell quiet. His eyes flickered behind Y/N and noticed that her friends has slowly walked away, as their effort to leave them alone and he glanced over his shoulder, hoping his brothers would do the same.

But of course, being oblivious and shameless as they are, all six are still there, now sitting too comfortably on the sidewalk, with Taehyung and Jungkook obviously trying to listen it. Hoseok huffed and turned back to Y/N. It doesnt matter if his brothers gives him privacy or not, he's going to talk to Y/N properly tonight and no one is going to stop him.

"Listen... Im sorry for what happened earlier in the club. I didnt mean to do that. I was drunk," Hoseok finally managed to get the words out. He felt better seeing Y/N is still smiling and standing there, not showing any signs of running away like he expect her to. Could it be that she likes him too?

"Its okay. Its pretty obvious you were drunk. Do you feel better now?" She asks and touch his arm in a friendly manner, which only send tingles through his whole body. Hoseok cleared his throat and try to focus on the conversation.

"Yeah. I feel a lot better after eating. But what I did is not okay. I dont want you to think of me as a drunk pervert. I'm normal I swear," he raised his hand in a swearing motion. "Its just that... I start to do and say weird things when I start drinking. I am not a good drinker. And I'm really sorry," he smile at her. The same bright smile that Y/N usually see on TV or images that her friends will show her.

The smile that she dont know how or why, makes her heart beats faster in her chest.

I was nearly in, but then came the pushy friend, Killed the vibe and took my perfect ten away.

"Its okay. Really. I forgive you,"

"Thank you Y/N," Hoseok replied quietly and the walkway become silent again. After a few awkward moment of just staring at each other Y/N finally speaks up.

"Well, then... if that's all you have to say... then I better get going," she bowed and start to walk away.

"Wait!" Hoseok grab ber hand and immediately lets go when she turns and look at the arm that's holding her. "Sorry... but would you like to-"

"Y/N! Hurry up!" His words were cut of by her friends who suddenly showed up from the corner, looking cold and tired as they waited for her.

"A moment!" She shouted back. "You were saying?" She turned back to Hoseok, hoping and wishing the male would finish asking whatever it is that he wanted to ask.

"I was about to ask you-"

"Seriously Y/N. We need to go. Han Mi really need to find a restroom!" The friend who was shouting for her just a while ago came over and pulled her hand, giving her no choice but to forcefully go with them. She gives him an apologetic smile and bowed her head a little to Hoseok, leaving hin standing there speechless and dissapointed at what just happened.

"Damn, what a cockblocker!" Jungkook makes his way beside Hoseok who is still confused over how rapid things are happening tonight.

"Language Kook!" Jin snarled from the back.

"Sorry hyung," Jungkook scratched his neck sheepishly.

"But Kook's right though. What a cockblocker! Cant she sense the vibe that's happening here?" Yoongi chimed in. "Too bad Hobi. Maybe next time? At least you have successfully talked to her tonight," he patted Hoseok's shoulder, trying to comfort his sad friend.

"Yeah... maybe,"

"Okay kids. Lets go home," Jin ushered them all towards the van that is parked across the road. "Hobi? You coming?"

Hoseok turns towards his brothers who are huddled together in the cold, waiting for him. After a moment he smile.

"No hyung. All of you can go ahead,"

"Where are you going?"

"Im going to do it tonight. Im going to get my girl tonight," he hastily replied before running off into the direction Y/N was hauled into, leaving the six boys surprised but with smiles on their faces.

You know I need you, girl, My heart's not made for someone else. So save me here 'cause I can barely stand. Should I stay? Should I go? It just can lead back to her door.

"Y/N!" After about 15 minutes of non stop running he finally saw her, walking slowly... and alone. Y/N turned around, shocked to find a breathless and panting idol calling her name.

"What... what are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"Isnt it obvious? I ran here," he laughs between taking long deep breath. Y/N rolled her eyes but still smiling at him.

"Thats not what I meant. Why are you here?"

"Wait, where's your friends?" Hoseok looks around to find there is no one else in sight.

"We go separate ways from that corner. My house is that way," she motioned down the street.

"Do you usually walk home? Dont you know its dangerous to walk alone at night?" He frowned, worried for her safety. Its past midnight and the streets are empty. How is she walking alone?

"I know. But I dont usually walk. I send my driver off since I wanted to get some fresh air tonight. My house is not that far from here. Dont worry," she giggled as she finds it amusing how a stranger is worried for her.

"But really, why are you here?" She cocked her head to side as she looks at him, confused.

"Y/N..." Hoseok finally found the courage he needs after all these months of watching her and took her hand in his, rubbing small circle on her soft skin. He is going to do it. He is going to say it. "I think you already know...  but I want to make it clear to you tonight. I... I like you,"

Y/N's eyes widen at his confession. How? When? Why? How?

"But... we dont know each other. You... you dont know me. How can you like me?"

"I know this sounds weird. And I swear I'm not creepy," he laughs. "But I have been watching you since the first time you came into one of our after parties. And I was hooked," he looks straight into her eyes now, he himself surprised by his own confidence. "I saw the way you dance and from that moment I know I need to get to know you. I just know there's something about you Y/N, somethinf that attracts me to you badly. I know you probably wont believe me, and its way too early to say this when we just talk for the first time today, but I think my heart is made for you," his words came out so soft as he continues to stare into her puzzled eyes. "I'm not forcing you into anything. I understand all this sudden and surprising... but I just want to ask you to give me a chance to get to know you," Hoseok held his breath once he finishes, nervously waiting for her answer. It probably took her only a few moments but it feels like a million years to Hoseok.

"May I... Y/N? Get to know you?"

Hoseok felt her hand that he's holding suddenly gripping his back, making him look up from their entertwined hands to her smiling face, which is now nodding softly.

"Want to walk me home?"

I know I don't know you, But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl. That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

"This is me," Y/N stopped in front of a mansion, making Hoseok's mouth fell wide open. When people told him that she's a daughter from a wealthy family, he didnt think her family is this wealthy.

"Let me walk you inside," he motioned for her to go in as the automatic huge brass gate opens. Hoseok was amazed once more when he saw the magnificent water fountain near the front door. The lights decorating the fountain shoned lightly, making Hoseok's heart beats faster than it ever did the whole night as it illuminates Y/N's face softly.

Hoseok has been looking at her for months now, but to him, Y/N has never looked more beautiful than she is tonight, in this moment as she stands in front of the fountain smiling shyly at him who has gone quiet as he stares openly at her. Her long hair softly falling over shoulder, her long eyelashes that touches her cheeks when she closes her eyes, the way her eyes lit up when she smile, the sound of her laughter, everything about her is just ethreal.

Hoseok has no doubt that he has fallen in love hard with this girl in front of him. He dont need to get to know her to be sure of that fact. His heart already recognize her as his. And as he smile softly at her and she looks back at him, eyes wide and sparkling, both hearing the same music that's beating softly from their heart, Hoseok knows there is only one thing left for him to do.

"Y/N, may I have this dance?"

[peterparkesfluff-blog]

Let Me Help You (Part 1)

Spidey Imagine (hopefully this idea wasn't written before, if so, I’m sorry)

Living is with an abusive family member was the worst thing that could happen to a teenager who only seeks happiness and redemption . You were living in this endless nightmare that you hoped it will end when you go to college , but because of how things were , you were losing the hope of going to college or even getting a job in the future . You weren't just losing hope , but you were giving up on yourself as well . Things got worse and worse , at school you couldn't concentrate and be that A+ girl that you were once , you lost your friends with no specific reason , but inside you knew that it was probably because you didn't fit in anymore , you weren't smart anymore , you weren't beautiful anymore , nothing was the same . It all started when your sister died , your parents got divorced and yes , at first it was painful for everyone , but you were an united family till at some point when your mom decided that she deserves someone better than your dad , and that's how your life turned upside down , your whole world crashed on your shoulders . The violence began and there was no stopping it , as it turned out , you couldn't let yourself not loving your dad and that was eating you alive because everytime you looked into his eyes , you saw no remorse , no mercy , like he wanted you to fall apart , but there were quiet days , when nothing happened and as the stupid girl that you were , you thought that maybe things will stop and begin to get better .. The homecoming was close enough and there was that little hopeful part of you that still remained inside that maybe the boy you were in loved with and also your neighbour , will ask you to come with him , but of course , that didn't happen . You and Peter were close friends since you moved in the neighbourhood , you were going with him to school , studying together , along with Ned sometimes, watching Star Wars and having debatings , building the Death Star , everything . You , Peter , Ned , even MJ and Liz Allen and the rest of the group were the nerds of the school , but having one another helped getting through the bullying and everything . But I guess , after the death of your sister , you izolated yourself for a while and they understood , but things never came back to normal , not even Peter , he changed a lot in the last 8 months , he was always dissapearing , sometimes at night he was sneaking out causing you to wake up , but you never actually saw him , you just heard the window scratching as usually like when you were coming to study nights . Also , when you were trying to have a conversation with him , he always seemed so tensed and stressed , and you decided to give him a break , maybe something happened to him and he needs time like you did . So you thought , till the homecoming finally was finally here . Still dissapointed and hurt that Peter didn't even bother to ask if you're going , or anyone from the ''nerds '' , you decided to go and talk to them like old times . Poor you , hopeful that someone will talk to you . Being there was the worst decision that you ever made and you instantly regreted it . Not even an hour in homecoming and something already happen . As you walked in , kind of happy you didn't drawn attention because your dress wasn't a big deal , you saw your group and you smiled at the sight of them being together , reminding you of old times . As you got closer , your breath hitched in your throat when you saw Peter and Liz dancing , so close and they seem so happy . You swallowed hard , thinking of the nights when Peter talked about Liz and you gladly listened to him till at some point when you realized that you feel less and less happy when he talked about her like she was the only one , i mean , yeah , Liz was so beautiful , smart , caring and one of your closest friends , it hurted when you admitted to yourself that she was the one for Peter , maybe you and Peter weren't meant to be , but that didn't stopped the developing of your feelings for him .You stopped for a second and then kept walking , hopefully MJ and Ned will talk to you .

''hey '' you said as you approched them . It took them a second to realize who was talking to them . MJ greeted back , simply as usual , and Ned stuttered as he said ''hi '' back .

'' what are you guys doing-''

'' im just gonna go and get myself a nice piece of cake '' MJ said as she walked away . You weren't surprised , that was MJ , at least she stayed the same . YOu turned to Ned to finish your sentence , but he excused himself to go and talk to Peter , leaving you alone . You sighed to yourself and watched the others dancing . just staying there , like an idiot . You tried to avoid looking at Peter and Liz , and focusing on other pairs . Standing there , alone made you realize how worthless you are , and how your life ended in the moment your family fell apart . YOu bit your lower lip , trying not to brust into crying . You felt your throat clentching at how much pain you were feeling . This was your only chance to prove yourself wrong , but you spectaculary failed , like every other times . You couldn't stand it anymore , that feeling of failure and worthlessness . ''It's my fault '' , you thought to yourself as you were walking fast out of the gym , covering your mouth and holding your stomach as you let all that pain in . You arrived home , quietly not to wake your father , that was missing , him to wake up and hit you . You closed your bedroom' door as you began to silently cry . The fact that you couldn't even cry properly to let everything out made it even worse . After a few minutes, everything was silent and numb . For a while you just sat in your room , analyzing the situation and this time you didn't find any solution and it began not to hurt anymore . There was only one avaliable and you hardly admitted it to yourself , in the end , giving in and accepting the fact that it was over . You took off your dress and dressed normal , took your jacket ,scarf and beanie . As you walked up to the roof , you looked at the city and its beautiful lights . On the roof , you took a good look at the clear sky , seeing the stars , remembering how you used to come with your sister and always trying to count them . A smlie that faded appeared on your face . You walked to the edge and for one last time you looked at the town , breathing the cold air , tears spilling out of your eyes as for th last time you searched for hope , but this time it was over , and you lost . You looked at your feet and down the street , some whimpers of pain escaping your mouth ,you closed your eyes and calmed down , waiting for the perfect moment to jump . Minutes has passed , and your brain brought all the negative thoughts , giving you all the reasons , till suddenly you felt a hand on your right shoulder and heard a soft, calm voice from behind saying `` Don't jump'' . Your eyes widened and you didn't look back till from the corner on your eyes you could see a figure dressed in red and blue . Slowly you turned your head towards the person . It was the one and only Spider-man . It was shocking ,he was real after all . Many people claimed to saw him but you never did so it was a doubt . You swallowed quickly as even through the mask you could see that he was sad . You looked at him a bit , still processing what happened . You shaked your head in denial and close your eyes , turning your head back in the initial position .

''why not ?'' you asked more like a whisper , you could barely speak with your sore throat . He didn't sat anything , he was trying to understand the situation .

''i just don't see a point.. '' you cried , finally admitting to someone , even if you didn't know who he was . He was next to you , a little behind , but he could see your face . Behind the mask , Peter was scared , so scared and panicked , he could feel the tears threatening the corner of his eyes . ''How could I let this happen '' he asked himself in dissapointment . He shaked his head and focused on the situation and what he should to say . For the first time , Spider-man was speechless and had no idea what to do . '' I'm just drowning ..'' you said once more . He didn't know what he was doing, but he softly took your hand and place it on his chest . Still not looking at him , he said ''you feel it..?'' as your fingertips felt his rushed heartbeat . You didn't know what to say . '' It beats , for a purpose ..o-okay ?'' . You frowned and clentched your jawline , warm and salty tears still streaming down your red cheeks . ''we can try and fix this ..t-together.. alright? we can do it together , i'll help you , i promise '' . You felt your chest exploding at his words , and especially at the word ''together'' . With your hands still in his , you turned around carefully not to lose your balance . He helped you stand on your feet and in the same time you quickly hugged each other , his body was still shaking and he left a releaved sigh as he brought the back of your head closer . It's weird how a hug from a stranger can change so much , but you let it happen , you let it in just like everything .

After maybe half an hour or maybe more , you were back in your room with as well-said Spider-man . Well,kind of in your room , he was just at the window with your little cold hands in his .

''Look ,i gotta go to solve some big problems and prevent some chaos that might come over Queens ,but-`` he said slightly squizzing your hands tighter ''i promise you , i will come back and then maybe , if you want , we can..we can talk, but only if you want , its not like an oblig-'' he kept strumbling over words so you decided to nicely intrerupt him

''I'd like to '' you said softly and slightly shaking your head ''Now just go and save us '' you gave him a tired smile before he took off . You could see him swinging from building to building heading god knows where . Carefully enough you closed the window and sat on your bed in the dark , exhaling that breath you were holding for hours . Looks like part of you was afraid that you might actually end your suffering forever . You covered your closed eyes with your cold hands because they were burning from crying and from all the overwhelming emotions that you felt in one night . You took your boots off and dragged your body up in the bed . you wanted to stay awake but you were so exhausted and you needed rest , so eventually your mind gave in and fell asleep .

In the morning , being the first day of your week off , you woke up with the worst headache and your stomach was screaming for food . Still in the clothes you had from the earlier night you got off from bed , whimpering because of the pain from the headache, you brought your hand up to your forehead and held it there a bit . Standing up hurted more and you felt like your head just exploded . You leaned into the desk from your right with your eyes shut and then you tried opening them slowly so the day light won't hurt that much . As you opened them you noticed a strange bag right next to your window and surely wasn't yours . It was a bag full of mostly junk food and a smoothie , they never smelled better . You turned the package around and on its side was written '' I didn't want to wake you up . Hope this will cheer you up a bit . Hope to see you at 9pm . Spider-man '' . You simply smiled at the kind gesture .

Peter, on the other hand , was a completely mess . Confused, hurt, both pshyhically and mentally , exhausted and the most , he was terrified because of what he witnessed . His best friend, his first friend he ever had could've been gone in this moment if it wasn't for Spider-man to show up . He was finally home, in his bathroom , cleaning one of his injury he's just got . Frustrated tears filled his tired eyes as a frown etches its way onto his face . In his mind , only flashbacks of childhood and teenage memories he had with you . He shut his eyes closed and got a strong grip of the edges of the sink , his head bowing down . How could he not notice ? He felt alone and guilty . He couldn't blame anyone else but himself . Hours later , he felt like he was going to break so he thought about telling someone about what happened to you . It wasn't okay and someone should know . As May passed his bedroom ,he thought about telling her , maybe she could give him some good advice or even maybe help y/n . He kept thinking for a bit , assuring himself that nothing bad is going to happen if he does this . He went to the kitchen , where May spends most of her time , she was cooking something of course , her back facing Peter . Peter cleared his throat before he started talking .

''hey may ? '' he simply asked . She was really concentrated and determinated to finish the dish she was currently cooking , so she quickly turned around and replied ''yeah ? what's up ? already bored in your week off ? '' .

''Um , no..'' Peter stated as he approched May . He was standing next to her with his arms helping him lean on the kitchen sink . ''..there is this thin-situation actually where I simply...don't know what to do '' Peter rambled with his voice trembling every word making aunt May to turn her head straight to him , seeing how sad he actually is . Her mouth was slightly open and wrinkles of worry etched onto her forehead . She dropped everything that she was doing and took a few steps to get a closer look to Peter .

''What happened ?'' her voice was soft, caring in her tone, worry in her voice . Peter sat down on the cozy couch , his head still down , looking at the floor . May was still standing in front of him close enough for Peter to lean his head on her , her hand gently carresing his back . '' I screwed it up..'' he stated, May didn't said anything, she gave him time to tell her .

''It's abou-...''he could feel the tears forming at the corner of his eyes . Too much was going on in his life as well . He rubbed his hands together as he felt another wave of tears fleeding his eyes . ''It's about Y/n '' He breathed out , swallowing hard and closing his eyes shut .

''y/n ? like y/n , your y/n ? '' May's voice rised a bit , surprised that Peter finally talked about her, May noticed that Peter didn't say anything about her for a while , or even seeing each other as they used to . Aunt May always saw you in the mornings because you were always late to school , sometimes you chatted ,but since things with Peter were off you kinda didn't see a point of bothering May too . Peter nodded as May looked at him with sad eyes, he looked drained and exhausted . She gently sat right beside him, her hand not leaving his back as she kept tracing paterns on Peter's back .

''Do you wanna talk about it ?'' She asked calmly . He took a deep breath in , closing his eyes once again remembering the whole thing , realizing how much he ignored you the past few months , there were those small moments where you just walked up to him in the cantin and he just found lame excuses to leave , not because of you , but because of what was happening to him and the city , he never meant any harm especially to you or anyone . He realized how many times he turned you down, just like the others , you needed them, not them, but Peter to be there for you just like you were there when uncle Ben died . If it wasn't for Spider-man , a stranger to show up , you would've died alone . With a shaky breath he started telling aunt may what happened , of course , avoiding the spider-man parts and replacing them with him needing some time alone on the roof because things didn't go so well at the Homecoming . Aunt May wasn't just upset of what she just heard , but she was terryfied that she was right all along . She knew that your dad wasn't doing well and from time to time it happened to hear things breaking down the building , it happened sometimes to see a lightly bruise on your cheek or the tiredness on your face from the lacks of sleeping .

''May , you okay ?'' Peter asked . May was a few steps away , her back facing Peter once again .

''Yeah, i'm okay, i'm fine , i just-it's a lot to take in , that's it ''

There was a long silence in their apartament , only some heavy sighs filling the room , till May spoke up .

''Maybe we should invite her to dinner ..tonight ? But without mentioning anyhting about what happened , it's better that way ''

Peter looked at the clock . 8.30pm . He had to go and see y/n in 30 mins , i mean Spider-man has to .

''I'll try and talk to her '' He lied , heading to his room leaving May to prepare dinner .

Meanwhile , you were just sitting in your room, in the dark as always , laying on your bed while you listened to music . The day passed really slow but you were too tired so you mostly napped through it . You knew that in 30 minutes you had to go on the roof and meet your new found friend , Spider-man .

At 9pm you were going up the fire escape , slightly shivering because of the cold of January . You were surprised when you saw Spider-man already there ,his back was facing you so you just simply said ''hey'' making him jump and turn around in a split of a second . You raised your left arm apparently with a bag , different from the one he gave it to you . ''Thought you might be hungry '' you simply stated , giving him a small smile . You could tell that he was surprised at your kind of calm, steady attitude compared to yesterday, but he knew that it was just temporary and inside you were breaking . He came closer , his body language showing you that he was a bit nervous , or maybe he has no idea what to do . You handed him the bag and he awkwardly took it . ''Get it together , Peter'' his voice ringing in his head .

''Thanks-Thank you ..'' he stuttered remembering you of Peter . ''i'll eat it later, it just-i can't really eat with my mask on and yeah..''

''oh...no ,it's fine ..i should've thought about it ..''

There was this awkward silence between you two, you could feel him staring at you but you looked at the city trying to avoid the eye contact , it was always intimidating . You decided to end it because your chest felt like a bomb about to go off .

''so did you sav-''you were intrerupted by the sudden hug he was giving you . His muscular arms wrapped around your back bringing you closer . This time the person who needed a hug wasn't you , was the person behind the mask . Your mind was blocked for a few seconds , it was still processing what just happened . You hugged back feeling the warmth of his body that slightly stopped your shivering . He pulled away just enough to be at a resonable distance .

''I'm sorry , I just believe that you deserve more of those ..'' he said with a lower voice . The words hitted you hard . Did you ? Do you actually deserve them ? You mumbled a 'thanks' because you didn't know what to say . You sighed because you had so much to tell him but you didn't know if he wanted to hear it .

Accidentally , you both started talking in the same time .

''Look, I-'' you stopped and giggled at the fact that you said the same things .

''You first '' he pleaded .

'' I was going to...thank you , for the other night , where I-um..you know ..''you trembled every word and you hated yourself for that . You were that kind of person that even if you're dead inside or even sad , you act like nothing had happened , more like you didn't want to remember . Behind the mask Peter was seriously speechless, he had no clue what he should do nor say .

''I just ..i'm having a hard time lately and things became too rough , out of my control and i guess, stupid me thought of a way to ..escape ? i don-i don't really know ..'' you said .

''I don't want you to thank me for anything that i did last night ...i just...i just wanna know..'' Peter was trying his best not to give in or let his Peter Parker voice out . His voice was clearly shaking so he swallowed to get it togheter .

''I'd like to know why...''he said it more like a whisper but it was loud enough for you to hear it . He saw that you were staring at him with your lips slightly parted . For a moment , you were analyzing him and what he said . You pursed your lips and shoved your frozen hands in your pocket , your eyes not leaving the masked hero .

''I mean-I mean if that's okay , i don't want to push anything or make you uncomfortable...i'm just worried ..'' he quickly stated .

''worried? worried about me ? '' you didn't mean to sound harsh ,but you wanted some truthful facts .

''yeah..about you..and what would've happened if i wasn't here ..last night ..'' every word he said made you realize that if he wasn't there , you wouldn't be here right now . You looked down at your feet , thinking for a second '' should i tell him ? '' . Long silence between you two , only the sound of cars driving was heard .

''well..spider-man , would you like to hear my story ?'' you said with a less confident steem .

And that's how it started , you told him the essential things , but you stopped when it came about your father . He was a fight-crime hero ,he would try to stop your dad or the worst case scenario , he would take him away from you and the thought of being alone , since your mother left far away without the desire of seeing you or your father ever again . So you didn't tell him . You just said you aren't close as you used to be and things aren't going to get better between you and and your father . Also you didn't mention anyhting about Peter or your friends , you just said that you drifted apart .

In the end, after you finished his bag of junk food since he insisted you to eat and you were never the kind of type who refuses food .

'' is it okay if we are going to meet again ? '' he shyly asked . You felt this spark of joy in your chest . He wanted to talk to you again , he wanted to listen .

''sure..but ..uhm..if it's not much to ask , do you have a name ? like , i feel bad calling you Spider-man , plus it's too long '' you chuckled at the end .

''oh , is it now ? '' he sarcastically said . '' how about Anakin ? how does that sound to you ?'' he laughed .

''Star Wars much ? '' you teased raising an eyebrow at him .

''I'll see you, y/n'' he waved before he swinged to another building .

Back in your room this time with the lights on , you were sitting on your chair with your head titled up staring at the celling . That night was nice . Few minutes , you heard a knock at the door and since your father never bothers to answer , you sat up and walked to the door . When you opened it your heart stopped . It was May . You frowned and your jaw dropped and then you frowned again .

''May?? ..oh my god , hey '' you looked around the room making sure your dad doesn't come and you stepped out the door , closing it behind you .

''wh-what brings you here ?'' you said as you hugged her back . wow , you missed her hugs and her pep talks . late girl nights because peter was the first to fall asleep .

''well..'' she said with a big bright smile . ''i cooked thai food , your favourite and i thought maybe...you wanna have dinner with us ? '' she hopefully asked .

''us ? like us ? you , me and peter us ? '' you stuttered .

Her smile began to slowly fade and you hated to see that . You gave in and said .

''Yeah ! sure , i'll come..sorry-it just , i haven't talked to Peter or you in a while and my brain is pretty slow at processing ''

As you walked in the apartament , the usual smell of flowers and food was in the air and nothing was really changed , everything was pretty much the same .

''wow, it's been a while since the last time i was here '' you breathed out . Aunt May walked to the kitchen as she replied to you ''just feel like home , honey '' . You stopped at ther words because those were the exact same words she said to you when you first came in . You looked over the couch where you usually crashed on after coming with Peter after school and when you usually played video games with him and aunt May and sometimes even with uncle Ben . You and Peter were competitive when it came to video games and studying so that resulted many arguments over simple things . You awkwardly walked to the kitchen table , sitting down where you usually sat snd Peter usually sat right in front of you . You also remembered when you and Peter tried to surprise May by cooking meatloaf which turned into a total disaster . Or that one time you were working with Peter on a biophysisc project and you two were cuddled up and making sciences jokes and May saw how happy you were and brought the food in Peter's room . You missed this , even the stupid science shirts . On the kitchen counter you noticed some of the old pictures frames , and you thought ''they didn't throw them away..'' .

''Is Peter going to join us ? '' you finally asked because you were beginning to feel anxious that he is probably in his room and he doesn't even bother to come and say ''hello'' to you .

Peter wasn't going to come . He was so dissapointed and pissed that the Vulture couldn't stay in his cage for one night and he knew that he let you down once more . He texted May apologizing he won't be able to come because of a project with Ned and May insisted for him to come back home but of course he couldn't .

''uhm ...sadly, no , he has this project with Ned for pshysisc that has its due tomorrow ..'' you could feel your eyes watering because the project was for yesterday and Peter and Ned already presented it . You clentched your fists trying to resist not to cry in front of May . ''come on , you've done this a million times , just pretend you didn't hear it '' your inner voice said . You bit your lower lip and avoided the eye contact with her .

''y/n..'' she calmly said as she saw you fall apart right in front of her . You shut your eyes and brought your hands covered by the long sleeves of the sweater . You felt your throat clentching and that was the signal that you need to calm down so you don't brust into crying . May quickly brought a chair next to you and hugged you as your face was still covered .

''shh, it's okay '' she ran her hand up and down your back that was rising up and down from the heavy breathing . At that moment , Spider-man swang on the building he is living and he stopped at the kitchen window , witnessing what was happening between you and May . He pulled his mask off and watched the whole thing , the feeling of guilt going through his veins . '' I should've been there '' he said to himself before he couldn't stand what he was seeing so he just went up at your meeting spot . He covered his mouth to stop the heavy breathing and he just put his mask back on so no one can see him falling apart .

After you and May had a long chat about how Peter and you drifted apart in the past months , you left and went to your apartament . After brushing your teeth , you changed in some comfortable clothes and went to bed . You read yourself to sleep , living the lamp on . Peter also stayed outside your window till you fell asleep , making sure you are okay and nothing bad happens to you . He was so tired ,but watching you gave him the feeling of safety . He noticed the lamp on and he knew how much you hate to sleep with any kind of light on . He had a debating to either leave it that way or come in and turn it off . He decided to go in , carefully not to wake you up .He tip toed till he was next to your bed and turned off the lamp , only the city lights helping him to see a part of your face . He chuckled when he remembered the way you used to fell asleep , all covered in blankets with at least 3 books around you . He risked himself to pull the blanket up to your neck and slowly remove that book from your hands . He was getting sleepy only looking at you so he decided to leave .

[inspirationalhoodie-blog]

Remember // Taehyung imagine

A/N: Enjoy :)

Summary : “ He remembers our dances. With a little recap, he remembers. We’re so happy he still does.” “ Yes I guess, he loves dancing and it’s in his heart so he won’t forget.” “ Y/n, i don’t want to sound mean but dont you think that doesn’t make sense?” “What doesn’t?” “If you’re in his heart right. Why did he forget you?”

Genre: angst, fluff

Words: 3k ( 3,405)

—

It was a great year. Popping champagne and kissing when the clock strikes twelve on new year’s eve. Opening presents on Christmas day. Snuggling by the fire on Valentine’s. Blowing candles on each other’s birthday’s.

You celebrate everything together. Everything was perfect.

“ y/n, smileee” Taehyung says while he takes a picture of you by the gardens. He loves to take pictures of everything, especially you. You even get mad at him sometimes because some of the pictures are candid and you think you look ugly af but he always says

“To me you’re the most beautiful person in and out, in person or in a picture. I can never get tired of your smile.“ 

and if you try to fight me in deleting all of the pictures, he always has extras. You got used to it. You’re each others lockscreens. So that, he says

” Every morning will start happily when I see you face “

You just love how he’s always funny. So caring, but he can be scary when he gets jealous you just love him more.

There was a guy that went over to you at the bar while Taehyung went to the restroom. The guy offers you a drink and he’s getting closer every time he says a word, you get uncomfortable. You say ” No-no you see I hav-“ then you just see Taehyung’s hand on the shoulder of the guy.

” Move, it’s my girlfriend you’re talking to”

It feels so good when you have that somebody caring that much about you.

When the both of you fight, both of you will be the coldest person you can find on Earth.

“What is it to you???!” You say “If you dont want to tell me, then fine. It ‘doesn’t’ matter to me anyway. ” He says with a sarcastic tone, walking away going into the room.

For a week you and Taehyung are ignoring each other. Facing opposite directions while sleeping. Until one day, you hear the doorbell. You think who in the world it might be when Taehyung just left for work.

By the door you see one rose laying on the ground. It was blue. You remember telling him that you dont like cliché colored roses. You want something that is rarely found. There’s a note attached to it saying “Go to the patio” you look inside your room and went inside the patio. There’s a box saying “open”. It’s a music box. With a letter saying “ sorry” the music playing is the song he made for you for your fourth anniversary together. You heard the door click. You ran immediately to the door seeing his figure holding a bouquet of roses qirh different colors. You ran and hugged him tight as he whispers in your ears “I’m sorry, I can’t stay mad at you anymore. I love you”

Good times.

Going back to all those memories feels so painful especially when you’re here sitting beside his hospital bed holding his hand tight hoping he wakes up. You can’t believe it all happened so fast. It was only like yesterday when he told me he’ll never leave me.

I’m sure he won’t. He won’t. He promised.

Hours of sleeping by his side. Days of waiting for him to say that he’s okay, it so long. It’s like im on an endless cycle of repeating days with no changes in his condition.

You feel his hand fidget. Like he’s waking up. You face him immediately, his long eyelashes batting up and down. He’s eyes opening and you’re so happy you can jump.

“ TAEHYUNG! OH MY GOD THANK GOD YOU’RE AWAKE!” you stood up and hugged him from his bed. You don’t hear him say anything. He’s not even hugging you back.

“ Taehyung I’m so worried you mig-” then he pushes you away and catches you off guard. You feel hurt, pain crushing your chest. Why did he push you away? What’s wrong? You think that he’s just adjusting so you go over and say

“ Are you okay babe?” You’re eyes shifting back and forth on his body, face, feet everything making sure nothing’s hurt.

When the only thing you hear him say, “ Who are you?”

Your heart stopped. Everything stopped. You find yourself staring into his eyes hoping he’ll recognize you. You smiled hiding the pain and hoping that he’ll remember.

It’s all because of you. If he didn’t help you in the first place,  he wouldn’t have ended up here in the hospital. It should’ve been you instead. That picture frame doesn’t need to be there anyway. You blame everything to yourself. Looking back at all that happened. How hard he must’ve felt when he fell down the stairs. How much blood there was on the floor, how much crying there was. How much louder you have to shout just for everything to be alright.

You answer:

“ I’m (y/n) you’re girlfriend. You can’t remember me?”

The nurse comes in and checks on him.  Then the doctor tested his memory, even his own name he can’t remember. He excused me outside to tell me what’s his condition is.

It hurts, so much. The past 5 years you’ve been together, felt like he threw it in the trash.

You’re still there by his side. You’re still there through every night his head hurt in the middle of the night. You’re there holding his hand tight. Praying he’ll remember.

The other day:

“ Are you doing well?” You ask while preparing his food. He is looking at his phone. Trying passwords just to open it. You settled the tray beside him and got his phone and opened it for him.

09112 - You’re first anniversary.

“How do you know my password?” He asks. Duh, ofc he told you because jo secrets remember? No, he doesn’t remember.

“ I’m your girlfriend ofcourse I know. You’re really not that private.” You smirk.

He face his phone and looks at the homescreen carefully as if studying math. We have matching homescreens, it was us at the photobooth.

“Is this?” He points at you in the picture then at you.

“ Yea… You took that picture of us because you were so happy that the spot we got was very beautiful. You said you want to capture it because you’re with me…”

He is silent. No reaction at all.

“ I’ll help you remember don’t worry.” You said to break the ice.

“Thanks.” He said not even looking at you. You miss the old Taehyung that likes to smile, to make you smile. The Taehyung that looks at you every moment.

Now the time has come when he can be discharged. You bring him home. As soon as you enter the house, you felt happy. That you’re with him again in the same place. You turn to look at him.

He doesn’t look happy. When he turned to face you he asks “ Where’s my room?”

You walk him to the room saying, “This is our room”.

“ We share the same room?” He says with that tone in his voice like he won’t do this if he gets the chance to do it all over again.

“ Remind me, how many years are we together again?”

“ 5. 5 solid years. Taehyung please remember” you hold his hand. But he lets go saying, “ I’ll try.”

Days are hard. He started working again. It’s been a month already and he’s still not back to normal. I’m sure it takes time. I can wait forever.

You’re also sure that the boys also are having a hard time with Taehyung forgetting everything.

You get a call it’s from Rap Monster.

“ Yes? You called?” You say

“ I have good news.” He says and you hear the other guys, Jungkook and Jin in the background saying “Hello y/n!” repeatedly teasing me.

“ What’s up?“  You ask with the frustration in your voice.

” Taehyung,“

” What why? What happened? Does he remember?“

” Uhmmm let’s just say it like this. He’s adjusting quickly but he’s still not the same. But the other good news is,“

“What???”

“ He remembers our dances. With a little recap, he remembers. We’re so happy he still does.”

“ Yes I guess, he loves dancing and it’s in his heart so he won’t forget.”

“ Y/n, i don’t want to sound mean but dont you think that doesn’t make sense?”

“What doesn’t?”

“If you’re in his heart right. Why did he forget you?”

“ Well-” you’re about to say something when he said

“ Oh practice is going to start soon. I need to go. Talk to you soon with updates again y/n!”

He hangs up. What he said just went right through you. If he did love you, you’re supposed to be in his heart. Then why did he forget?

Hours later, you fell asleep. Then he got home. You woke up and went to see him.

“ Hello, are you tired?” You ask

“ Yes, i need to rest.” He says taking off his coat. You went to help him.

“ It’s okay, I didn’t forget how to take my own coat off. Thanks.” You stopped.

You’re hurt in so many levels right now and the past days. You want him to leap in your arms everytime he gets home. You want him back.

Next day

You wake up with no one beside you, again. The spot where he used to be is now empty. “When will he sleep next to me again?”

This never happens even when you fight. He never lets you sleep alone. But why did he change so much?

You went out to the living room and saw him on the phone. Laughing. The sound you wanted to hear for so long.

He catches a glimpse of you and hangs up on the phone.

He said “ Goodmorning! Are you hungry?” what’s happening?

“ Ye-yea… ” You said and went to the counter to make some coffee.

“ You seem happy. What’s up? Do you remember me now?” You turn to face him holding your mug.

“ Not that. It’s a secret. ” He teased

“ Come on Taehyung.”

He stands up and picks up his coat and said “ I’m going out enjoy the toast I made in the oven. Bye bye!”

He left. “It’s nice seeing Taehyung like that again. ” You thought.

After taking a bath, you went straight to the bookstore. You needed to buy his favorite book, maybe he can remember what’s it about since he always talk about it. He donated his last year at an orphanage for children. 

While finding the section, you get another call from Rap mon. You answer the call while finding the section.

“ Yes? What’s up?” You say looking through the books.

“ Y/n….” He whispers. You feel the mixed emotions filled with sadness, worry, confusion.

“ Why? What happened? Are you okay? Ie Taehyung doing fine?” You ask while shifting through the books hoping it’s not bad news that he’s just joking with the tone of his voice.

“ Guys I can’t do this.” He says in the background frustrated.

“ What do you mean you can’t do?” You say.  You hear the ruffles at the other line as if it was plastic crushing to the phone’s speaker.

“ Hello?” You hear Jimin.

“ Jimin? Hello, what’s happening? What is it that Rap Mon can’t say?” You found the book. It almost took forever you can shout for joy because as you look around it’s the last one.

“ YES!” you shouted to the phone

“ What is it?” Jimin said

“ I found Taehyung’s favorite book!” You said with a smile on your face.

“ That’s… Nice..” he says contradicting his voice.

“ Jimin, what it is by the way?” You say scanning through the pages looking back at when he used to read this and be so hyped. Jimin fell silent. What’s happening???

“Where’s Taehyung is he alright?” You ask.

“He is super alright. But y/n, I’m so so sorry to tell you this. But-” he stopped to catch his breath.

“ Taehyung is with a girl right now. We’re looking the glass of the cafe they’re at.” Once again you feel your heart drop. But you think that it’s just a meeting with someone or something.

“ Maybe it’s just a friend. No need to get all hyped up.” You say

“ It’s at the Coffee Bay…” As soon as you hear Jimin say those words, you begin to remember how you two used to order there always. The way he used to smile at you when you order for him. The way he used to sing along to the song playing at the cafe.

‘Why Taehyung did you bring her there? I thought, you don’t remember?’ you thought.

“ No maybe they’re just in the area. So they’re there.” You try to stay positive. You have to hold on to what you and Taehyung have. You have to believe that he’ll come back.

“ Where are you?” You were so lost you didn’t realize it’s already Jhope talking.

“ Here at the mall near our house why?”

“ We’re there too, that means… They’re here. Can’t you check for yourself? We don’t want you to be sad for too long please y/n…”

“ Alright I’ll be there. I’ll just buy the book. Ok I’ll see you. Bye. ” You say as you search for the counter and immediately paying.

You go to the cafe and they’re outside waiting for you. They’re somewhere where they can’t be seen. You went over. Jungkook immediately pointed to where Taehyung is.

You see his smile. You see him laugh. You see him do those things with the girl he’s with. You turn around to avoid getting hurt, you’ll stay positive you say to yourself.

“ Guys, this is normal. They’re just talking and laughing like normal people. Nothing to be worried about.” You say confidently.

When suga said “ That looks normal to you?” He points to where Taehyung was. You look over.

They’re holding hands. Staring deeply into each others eyes. You feel weak, you drop the book you’re holding. It felt as if your heart came with it. You feel so betrayed.

“ Is this why he was so happy earlier? Being so nice to me?” You say.

“ He remembers how to love, but not to love you y/n. I’m sorry ” Suga said in the background. You felt tears running down your face once again. Rap Mon pulled you into his arms and hugged you. They all joined in creating a barrier from everything, from Taehyung.

You were just crying on Rap Mon’s chest when you hear the softness of his voice.

“Hyung?” He says as soon as he sees Jimin.

JIMIN POV

He’s holding hands with the girl. How can he?

End of POV

He saw the guys, you tell rapmon

“ Please don’t let him see me.” You whisper.

Rap Mon signals the guys to block you while hiding behind him. They are all so good to you.

“ What are you doing here?” Taehyung says

“ No, we should be the one asking you that. What are you doing here, doing that?” Suga said pointing at their holding hands. Suga is a real savage.

“ I was about to tell you guys” he says and you can feel how he is so happy about all of this.

“ Taehyung can we talk?” You hear Jin’s voice. “ Alone?”

When Rapmon said that they’re gone you thank them for everything they did and that you need to go home.

Holding his favorite book in your hands, tears were dripping on the plastic cover.

Jin POV

Taehyung asked the girl to leave and they went somewhere quiet to talk.

“ Why Hyung?” He says

“ Why did you do that?” Jin says facing Taehyung “ Why is there another girl Taehyung?”

Taehyung didn’t answer.

“ You already have y/n…” Jin says “ Have you forgotten how hard she went through all the shit you put her through and you’re just going to replace her?”

“ For the love of God Taehyung! You’re living together? Or what, are you going to leave her today?“  Jin said non stop.

” Hyung, you can’t force feelings.“ He said looking into Jin’s eyes.

” You can’t taehyung, but you’re old enough to make the right decisions.“ Jin says.

” I’m sorry.“ Taehyung said

Jin was about to go but he replied ” Please don’t hurt y/n, she’s been through enough. “ Then he walks away.

End of POV

You are now at home, changed into your oversized sweater and shorts. Cooked dinner for you and Taehyung, if ever he’ll come home.

You sit down alone, and you play your favorite song. Taehyung and RM’s 4o clock.

You sing along, you sing out all the feelings you’ve been wanting to let out for so long. You close your eyes and just tear up with the thought that will haunt you forever.

” Taehyung can’t remember you. It’s impossible to love someone you dont know.“

The song ended. You were so into the song you didn’t notice Taehyung standing by the door looking at you. Slowly clapping his hands and walking towards you.

” You have a good voice. What song was it?“ He asked.

“It’s your song. You and RM composed it for your 4th anniversary as a group”

“ Really? It sounded like me ” he giggles.

He sits across the table and grabs a plate to eat with you.

“ Taehyung, can’t you remember me?” You say once again.

“ I’m so sorry, I really can’t.”

You bring out the book you bought. You saw the spark he has in his eyes when he sees the book.

“ This, do you remember this?” He immediately snatched it out of your hands. Examining it closely.

“ YES. OMG. I saw this somewhere and I wanted to buy it! I felt like it has a sentimental value to me or something.”

“ Yea it does. It’s about,” you were saying when he joined in and you were in sync.

“ - a boy that wanted to reach his dreams but he fell from the sky. He needs to find a way back”

You were looking intimately into each other. Like…. before..

“ Taehyung can you give me a chance to make you fall in love with me all over again?” You say.

“ I already am.” Taehyung said.

It was the best moment ever.

A/N: Comment if you want a Taehyung POV of this story

[wazm]

kinda lost blog

I just wish to feel genuine joy in my life. I'm so afraid of chasing my goals cos what if I get to where I need to be and it's not exactly what I want. nevermind trying to reach for my goals cos I've been doing that..working every day..trying to bring myself closer to my goals but fail...struggling to sit down and just write music...i can't get myself to do it... I can't get myself to create anything.. I procrastinate the things I'm supposed to do with irrelevant big tasks..trying to distract myself constantly... I just feel empty inside...

what makes my hallow chest even deeper is the fact that all my relationships remind me of the bad decisions I've made..and theyre, not even bad decisions..its just meh...average..nothing worthwhile noting really..combined with abunch of negative outcomes...like he fact that i know a shit ton of people but i have zero real friends...i once had a friend who knew me for more than 7 years but he never exactly knew his boundaries...he’d show up to my house unannounced...id never get space...but at least i still had a friend..id do countless favors for him and never ask him anything in return but giving me space...one time i tried distancing myself from him and when i started to notice, he got so offended...after this happened, we never spoke to months...probs the longest time apart since we’ve been friends...then we kinda rekindled things...and he decided to plan a guys trip to bring us closer together...trip was okay...but ended really bad...he blocked me off everything..games, facebook, whatsapp...everything...he lives up the road from me...but ive never seen him since....idk if its a blessing or a curse...i hope things are okay with him...he wasnt the smartest but he was smart enough to comprehend certain sitautions ive been going through...good enough for me to vent to and console me...thats kinda all i need sometimes...but no more of that...he was kinda my bridge to a group of other friends we had...and after the boys trip it was like i lost everyone..social life took a hard knock...im sorry..just wish you trusted me more...

i tried filling the void by making my gf do things i did with my friends...never went down well...she just seems like someone who never knows how to have fun anymore..we used to have interesting chats..i was so inlove with her, I never saw her flaws...and she taught me this word “resentment”...well its not tht i never saw her flaws...i just chose to ignore them..and told myself that things will get better, and she’ll grow..and change...but i feel like shes been making me more like her since we’ve been dating...i swear i did so much things before her...but we’ve been together so long, i dont even know who that person is anymore...i bet, even if i left her, i wouldnt be able to bounce back...and the odd thing is that, when we started dating almost 5 years ago, i made it our philosphy that we are individuals in a relationship, we are not the relationship but it seems like she wasnt even herself back then and started being me...and now its like, shes nothing without me and my whole life has grown so much onto her, i kinda feel the same in return...just less attached to her since i felt like i was feeding her nucleas...might be exaggerating but homegirl cant initiate anything without me. nevermind choosing a meal when we go out, she cant even make a plan without needing 90% input from my side...and thats how most things are between us...if shes upset, ill fix it...risk my life and beyond to fix it...physically have done this many times before...walked from my house to hers at 2am in the morning, through the ghettos, more than a kilometer away..even been gun pointed and got things stolen from me, just to make her feel better when she was upset in the middle of the night...im not expecting that in return but she lits does the bare minimum in return...id be sad, then she be like...awww...im sad you’re sad...done..thats it...she’d lits be like...what can i do to fix things....again wanting my input...i might as well be dating myself...idk why im with this girl anymore...i hurt inside everytime i tell her i love her...cos i just dont anymore...and its been like this for a while...i wish she found this post and decided to leave me..cos i cant leave her...ive broken her heart so many times and told her i wanted to leave but i just end up coming back to her cos im sucha fucking pussy seeking some sort of social acceptence or friendship and i feel like shes all i have rn...not much of a gf hey...but its not like im worth anything either...idk...im so paranoid shes cheated on me in the past cos shes lied to me in the past and told me 3 years later about those lies...you know when someone lies to you and then when you find out about the lies and you ask why’d you do it and shes like...idk...i just feel like its lies ontop of lies...really cant trust her....i wish i had it in me to cheat on her...but i just dont like most females...id be infatuated with someone but would be put off so easily by the slightest thign...things would make so much sense if i was secretly gay but im not...the longer i seem to be in this place, the deeper im digging my grave...i feel like the time with my almost 5 year relationship feels like its getting harder to leave the longer i stay in it....i really dont know what to do...but i feel like i fuck up most of my relationships...not just my romantic one...

my relationship with my parents are just a nightmare...same goes for my other family members...and you know what...i do so much for people...countless favors...countless volunteer jobs...extra miles for people who wont even move an inch for me...but just let me mention this to anyone, then im in the wrong...i just feel like i cant voice any shortcomings to anyone and im made out to be the bad guy for doing this....whether its my parents or my sisters...id do everything for them, and i do everything for them, even things they dont ask me for...but let me raise an opinion that doesnt resonate with them, and it turns into an argument and if i decide to step out before things get sour, im still made out to be the bad guy cos how dare i do something so rude....i just feel like no1 wants to listen to me at all...for my last birthday i tried staying away from my family and decided to work on a few movies with my friends and i had fun, we arent the closes friends but, campus friends...theyre actually in a whole other faculty..so we just barely know eachother but we’ve worked on movies before and thats kinda our history together as friends....so its my birthday and i agreed to work with them on this day...all day..from like 7am until almost 10pm..and my family, not communicating with me, decides to go out for supper for my birthday...and just expects me to leave this project im working on for them...so they invite people to join them for this birthday supper...without having me there...anyways after i finished my day shooting, i was pretty smug about working instead of spending the day with my family...and on the last few moments of my birthday my sister makes a shitty comment, wanting me to shut the fuck up cos she doesnt have the energy to listen to my voice..it really broken my heart, how my whole birthday was spoilt in moments....wish she couldve just waited a tiny bit longer...i wouldve been happy with that..but naa...no1 wants to listen to anything i have to say, let alone have me around in their presence....i just feel like starting a new life somewhere else...and thats kinda what i had planned...

really thought i was going to leave south africa and immigrate to australia to go sound study there...filled in all the paper work...spoke back-and-forth with the uni over there and they extended the communication so long, i thought things were set...seemed like i was so close to getting the big change ive been seeking for so long...but they sent me this stinky ‘ol email with extra modules id have to do and the tuition fees went from $11,000 to $35,000 which is ridiculous as my countries currency isnt australian dollars and is 10 units weaker than theirs...never in my life have i ever felt like money defined my life...lits had my life in limbo cos i was waiting for responses from this people...and when i finally got a response it was too late to apply at the local college...idk what im doing this year...i tried looking for work online, but no response...made ads for work on fiverr...tried upwork, tried quickengig...even rev...all these sites people advertise as quick ways to make money....a bunch of lies...i made $0, 3 weeks going now. nothing. i even invested in making a business logo, wrote descriptions...adjusted my ads multiple times...still...blue ticks from the online work field...i applied for jobs ive seen on indeed and on gumtree and jobfinder....but no response...nothing...blue ticked...ima say luckily im working part-time for this events company and its kinda an opportunity to network with the sound industry but the live sound industry is filled with racist pricks who patronize you when you’ve done the time to learn the work they know...so no work online freelancing, no work applying for work..no work physically meeting people...really makes me feel like this isnt a viable option for me...cant even study locally or internationally anymore...

im just so lost...alone..hurt..wish someone would save me the way ive saved others before..