#i want to be skinny more than anything but I WON'T do drugs

[homunculus-argument]

Probably dumb question from a trans guy who's struggling with actually physically and socially transitioning. I am a short, skinny, and relatively quiet human, and while I undoubtedly feel myself to be male internally and want my body to reflect that, I feel like nobody would ever take me seriously or find me attractive if I transitioned, or that I don't have what it takes to pass as a man in general due to people relentlessly perceiving me as feminine and female even when I do everything in my power to present otherwise.

I guess I'm just wondering if transitioning is even worth it for me? I'm almost 30, so I've lived as I am a long time, and as much as it makes me miserable and cuts me off from a lot of joy and vitality in life, it's all I know. I *think* I would feel better, have more confidence etc. if people perceived me as who I really feel myself to be, but the thought that there's a lot of people out there who would never accept that, and would rub it in my face that they still see me as something I loathe being seen as, makes me feel pretty hopeless about the whole situation.

No need to answer this if it's too personal a topic or anything, just wanted to run it past you since I admire you quite a bit, and you seem to have a lot of stuff figured out that I'm still working towards.

🐉

You sound pretty confident about it being something you can't be happy without, and honestly, testosterone is a hell of a drug, so even if you won't be astonishingly hot as a guy, you'll still read 100% as male in a couple of years. Look at the before-after pictures and progress timelines of trans men, especially HRT timelines, even the ones who don't end up looking like Kratos from God of War just turn out into completely normal-looking regular guys. There are plenty of short, skinny, and quiet cis men too, and they aren't so rare that normal people meeting you for the first time would start suspecting you to be one of those 1% minority people they've heard about.

I've also had friends who know I'm trans genuinely just forget about it. This one time a friend whom I have known since we were 15 - ten years before I started testosterone - get confused when I mentioned that my gym teacher at the time always wore electric blue mascara. She asked me which teacher was that, and only when I clarified that I was talking about the female gym teacher at my school, did she remember that I was in girls' gym classes. The thought that my school had the most flamboyant drag queen makeup wearing boys' gym teacher felt like a more plausible option than remembering that I was legally classified as a girl in school back when we met.

[tea-and-secrets]

i miss the person i was before my mental health took a crash a while back. i recently (as in december of 2023) suffered serotonin syndrome after an ill-fated mixing of drugs that lead to me being high out of my mind and feeling like i'm gonna die.

it was a mild case and it resolved within a day, but it was horrifying. it was so painful. and then i figured out that dying might hurt. it might be sudden. it might be unexpected. it might blast through my whole body and hurt more than anything in the world ever has. and then it'll be over. i won't be able to stop it. i try to tell myself it'll just be how it was before i was born (nothing) and it'll only hurt for a while and it kinda works but. um. more on that later

since then i became a massive hypochondriac. i'm so stressed 24/7 that i suffer constant pain, genuinely hallucinate for split-second intervals, fixate intensely on the idea that i might be suffering specific syndromes, and experience regular panic attacks. i can't remember the last time i could breathe clearly.

it would make no sense for me to have an abdominal aortic aneurysm at my age, especially considering i don't smoke and i don't really have anything else going that would cause that except maybe an unproven connective tissue disorder and high cholesterol. but here i am, terrified of the pulse in my stomach. i'm so fucking skinny, of course i'd feel the pulse of a garden-hose sized artery.

me being a med student makes it worse. maybe "horses not zebras" being hammered into my head would help someone else but it doesn't.

i'm starting to slip into delusion, or what i perceive to be delusion. i'm starting to think reincarnation is a thing and that when i die ill just wake up with no memories of my last life as someone different. i'm starting to think i could avert death by simply Dreaming Hard Enough that i entirely disconnect from my body and live there.

i used to be so happy and well-adjusted about things like death and the human body. i used to be well physically, but this has given me actual chronic pain. it's so frustrating. i feel like a different person. like something in me has coiled up wrong and now it'll only go downhill from here. honestly, i'm not afraid of dying by suicide or after a long life from a painless disease, so i'm starting to think that might be the right way to go.

of course i can't do that though. i'm so important to the people around me. i resent it. i really do resent that they won't let me die the way i want to die. maybe if i do i'll wake up again as someone who isn't so miserable.

.

[vodka-redbull-daily]

December 1st, 2023

Today was the day of the party, but I had planned to meet up with J-- early on in the day. since it already plan to take the day off work, I wasn't that bothered by waking up super early. I was up at like 10:00 a.m. because we had been texting last night and he said he was going to send me an Uber to come get me at 10:30. I explained to him that I didn't have a car. We've established this all the night before, but by the time I walk to the little grocery store that I had agreed to have him send the Uber to, it seemed like he completely forgotten all about it. he sent me a text asking if I still want to hang out that day almost at the exact same time the owner of the mechanic shop called me and told me I need to come down immediately to sign some paperwork. He told me he wasn't even going to look at the car unless I came right that second and was kind of pissed that I got in the car dropped off last night. not sure what he wanted me to do with it until then, but I told J-- to wait a minute and got an Uber to the mechanic shop.

 when I got there, I explained to them I was happening with the car and was quickly told that what I was talking about was impossible. I guess I'm just too stupid to know what the fuck was happening with my own car. I fucking hate mechanics. I have never had one that doesn't act like a complete dickwad. anyways, we went out to the car and of course it started acting normally. it does this word acts normally at first and then suddenly get all shaky and crazy and it won't go about 45 miles an hour. not to mention the steering issues I was having with it last night. I explained to him that it doesn't happen every single time I turn on the car but he cut me off and told me to just open the hood. I did that and him and his little buddy,  I guess maybe his Apprentice I have no clue,  looked under the hood for about 3 seconds. then, he came over and said that the car was too complicated for him work on. he basically said “ good luck fucker”  and told me to take the car off his lot.

 I told W---- about what had happened and how much of a dick that guy had been, but just drove the car back to my place. there was a really much I was like I do at that point. we agreed that I could drive the car up to his place for the party tonight and he would be able to find a mechanic that was actually for real going to work out instead of just being an asshole. better than nothing, but that means that I would be without a car for several days probably.

 after I get home, I explained to J-- that I could come over now so I sent an Uber to come pick me up. it was an hour long Uber drive and I hadn't brought any headphones since I recently thrown mine in the washer accidentally. I tend to leave them in the pockets of my clothes which means that they get fucked up in the washing machine. I didn't want to waste any of my phone battery just in case, so I was just kind of staring out the window for the full hour drive.  he lives really far away, really back behind some Lakes and tucked away in the corner of nothing. it looks a lot like retirement homes, which made sense cuz he was old as fuck.

 when I got there, I just kind of walked up this random set of stairs I found which I guess led to the back door. there were these huge glass windows and he came up and opened the door for me. he didn't look anything like his pictures. very skinny, very ugly. I think he might have also been on drugs or something cuz he seemed incredibly Spacey and was running around and couldn't keep one thought in his head at a time. I came in and sat down on the couch and he almost immediately asked if it would be okay if he could just pay me $100 and then send me back. apparently there was something going on with his kid in the school and he said that he couldn't focus on having sex and dealing with this at the same time. honestly, not that big a deal to me. more than a waste of time than anything else.

 what sucked about it though is that I had to sit with him the entire time while I was waiting for the Uber to show up. and J-- was so fucking disgusting. he had this big can of jelly beans I was just sitting on the counter and he would grab handfuls of them at a time and shove them in his mouth. that by itself wasn't that bad, But every time he chewed it sounded like somebody was slamming their fist into the counter. it was so loud and he chewed with his mouth open and it was so wet and Squishy but at the same time sounded like wooden teeth were cracking together. as far as I know he did have one teeth. it was so loud and so gross. not to mention he constantly had drool running out of the side of his mouth whether he was eating or not. I was honestly completely Disgusted and honestly so happy that I wasn't going to have to kiss him or make out with him or pretend to enjoy having sex with him.

 the Uber driver finally showed up, thankfully, but it was another fucking old man who couldn't figure out how to work his gps. he kept yelling at his phone and smacking the dashboard is if that was going to help. he also kept arguing with it, kept asking me whether we were going the right direction, and kept cutting people off. I'm surprised I didn't die on the hour-long Uber that it took to come home. I blocked J-- on everything immediately after because I am not going to be spending any more time with that drooling, saggy, ugly-ass mother fucker.

[the-firebird69]

There's some really stupid people on this planet this hassle gathered plastic bags for years to make a teeny teeny house that doesn't hold up to the wind or anything else not to work for any company it'd be fired it is we'll find out about it it's still like from Walmart and they caught him and it's exposing their projects

We've got the tunnels up near Florida and they're trying to entice people to try for the diamonds, as color for the trenches kidnapping attempts doing the news it's actually the fang himself man who's on so much drugs that you can't handle anything that's going on and it's going to get arrested for putting the image up

-there's a few more other things that are happening here and they are pretty big one is trumpsters are being hunted and they're being hunted for having weaponry of an illegal nature and we're having a lot of it they're taking it all of it tonight skinny and testing it and using it Jeffy dozen people checking the ammo and they're going to shoot this f*** first cuz it's tied in with the code and it's white lightning time huge numbers of people wanting to stop talking and he won't.

-there's a giant number of people that are seeking clones and Tommy f and this is here I have to do is grab them and they can't they're working the perimeter and they're maxing other and they're doing it constantly and they work their way in now they're going out to the ocean they're actually going to work the other side constantly

-other things are happening in this area. Jonathan company are moving out again they found out the vocs are way too heavy kind of meter and it's too heavy had it professionally tested and it's about 100% over the legal limit. How to report made up and it's by John remillard who owns the place other people are having the test done by their own companies Garth suggested a class action suit. It's being approved on Monday and they said they were going to I will take the land a group of us or the max and then we're going to dominate the department of health they'll probably win the suit and it's like $3 million dollars for 20 of them and that's like over 100,000 each once the lawyer takes his peace and it's probably right there actually and there's more they want to sue they just add money and God says that's great I'll get a place and our son says you can afford a condo which is better than an apartment this is why would I do that I can just pay rent and have money I know that guy and they all started laughing I'm just going to try and get into a new one who said probably not when we're building. The threats have already begun and from a bunch of them no sun says when did Sue to the money and build the place and it said how much do you need instead of no you have a small number of people and you need a small lot and for 20 people but too many dollars no, about $3 million and that was for 20 apartments but if you made it with 10 apartments it would be about $2 million dollars and says we don't want to live with each other. So how do you come up with a million dollars and that would be for land and Land development well you come to us and we build you a really inexpensive apartment so God knows how to talk to us and get to us and 20 apartments we have in a modular style and Land development isn't much for us the only thing is land procurement and where and they probably want to live outside the city since inside is going to be a mess for them it says that's great and it's hurricane rated up to like a six and we went to the bottom floor and concrete so far by code and camp it with a wood floor but it's bolted on they strap the stringers on and said well that's awesome she just go to the first floor it's probably only two stories. Now he's going to be hero if he pulls this off and we estimate with Land development and with all of the structure and finishes tied in with a CO which is certificate of occupancy it'll be about 2.3 million but since it's low income we get money from the state and it will cover about $400,000 so I can put some other stuff in and that's what they like to see and hear for HP accessibility and maybe even a pool. And you guys would have to maintain the pool yourself but the pool is nice out here let's get the salt and you need it for warts and it's a salt pool of course and a sun can put it in and you can use the 50 grand extra.... I know but that's what we can do for a deal if the story of you it would be easier and we need less money from the state and so on and there are parcels that we want and the outskirts it's not that far from Walmart or downtown but you're not here much very soon. They expect a lawsuit to start Monday and they expect to win it Monday no but we do if refuses to give him the money they will confiscate the place and Mac or us will buy the same day and we're going to move it and we're going to put new stuff there

-and John remillard just going to get sued for impersonating a covenant certified testing agency as well so they have extra money each about $20,000 because they can pocket that it's going to be low income with our application and the max say they're going to approve it they want the bastards in one place now the others are going to be forced to move so they're thinking about filing for the lawsuit about 300 people I am that would be about 10 million but since it's such a large group and they're all affected and feeling ill it's going to be like 20 million and healthcare in this case would be free by the state because they miss it and missed it and Josh I think she can take to make yourself feel better and to fix the problem it's a form of poisoning and it's like plastic in your bloodstream a lot of people want to know what that is oddly enough John Lord doesn't want you to know

We're going to publish so we can brush his teeth

Thor Freya

Olympus

[luckless-bitch]

mmm... Perhaps I judged Pinterest too harshly in the past. It's pretty good for thinspo

[the-daily-multi-fandom-post]

Gleens Lover girl

Hello! I'm Back with another "The walking Dead" fanfic. There are truly not enough Fanfics about Gleen Rhee and this will be one of them. I plan on trying to write a few; that way there is a few more happy people in the world. (including myself cuz I searched all day for fanfics for Gleen mf Rhee and there won't any) So here you go! <3

Part 1 of ?

let me know if you want to be added to a taglist for more glenn rhee post warnings: Mentions of racism, death, Weapons, weed, drugs, drinking, I don't know of any other warnings. cussing?

Summary: Y/n is the younger sister of Daryl Dixon. Y/n was more like her brother Daryl than she was her brother merle. Well, that is unless she's angry. Then she has the mouth and anger of Merle Dixon himself. Y/n first met Gleen at the quarry. That's where there friendship first grew and continued to grow through the post-apocalypse.

word count: 2,509

authors note: let me know if i should make this into a series or write more with gleen rhee x reader. Feedback is apreciated. Love yall! Thanks for having me back after being M.I.A for almost 2 years. :)

Y/n Dixon, younger sister of Merle and Daryl Dixon. Y/n Dixon was a wild card. She was either quiet like her brother Daryl and to herself. Or she was mouthy and speaking her opinion like her brother Merle. Some would say that's the worst mix, but to Y/n she thought that was the perfect mix. She can hold her own and she can hunt and track just like her brother Daryl. -Who's secretly a better tracker then their brother merle. They all knew it whether they said it or not was a different story.

Y/n and her brother were walking through the woods when they came up to a camp. Merle wanted to gain their trust until they were ready to rob them of everything they had. Daryl and his little sister didn't truly agree with it, but followed their brother.

Y/n was a little worried going to this camp of strangers. The only thing that made her feel a little better was that they had many women and children there in their camp at the quarry.

"I think Y/n should walk up first. They might feel more sympathy for a woman than a man." Merle proclaims as they hide behind the tree line watching the group of survivors.

"What if they dangerous?" Daryl asks his older brother. To which merle bellows out a laugh. "Dangerous? This little fire cracker can hold her own." Merle said as he slaps his sisters back. Pulling her against him as he talks.

"I think I can handle it." Y/n says. She's always been able to hold her own. She used to get in fights in school. Never lost one of them. Well, except for the one time when a group of girls ambushed her while she had no back up. But if you asked Y/n herself she'll tell you that she pretty much won that fight. Because all she had was a broken wrist and some bruises. The other girls were unrecognizable. She got suspended while the preppy rich girls just got a slap on the wrist and told not to do it again.

"Are you sure?" Daryl keeps questioning his younger sister. He didn't want to make her do anything she wasn't comfortable doing.

"D, you know I can go up to them. And if they start some shit, they'll have to deal with princess right here." She says, as she taps her hip where her Glock with an extended magazine rested in the holster. And that wasn't the only weapons she had on her person. The two hunting knifes that were hidden under her clothing. And the homemade dagger that rested in between her DIY Bra. Where the dagger was in-between her breast. Hidden and not noticeable unless you knew it was there. Something she had came up with just after the apocalypses.

Her brothers and her started walking up towards the camp. Y/n leading and her brothers following a few yards behind her. Y/n Could see the camp coming closer to sight. She was taking notes of the people that were there. "Families." She tells herself as she looks around. A man who had a police ball cap on. Who hung around a skinny white lady who seem to have a young son. Brown hair freckles. She sees a couple of Young adult women. Both blondes. They look so small Y/n thinks she could probably take them both at once if it had came down to it. There was another family, Y/n thinks maybe Mexican. Trying to describe it in her head. Not being racist or anything, just making notes. And maybe a couple other people.

"Stay back." Y/n quietly told her brothers as she topped the hill and was in full sight of the camp.

Y/n walked a little bit closer and then called out to the group. "Hello! I come in peace." She says as she hold up peace signs with her hands. -Always the one to make jokes in a serious situation; something she got from merle.

The man with the police cap jerked his head up instantly pointing his hand gun up at her. The woman he was talking to hiding behind him and what Y/n assumes is her son behind her.

"I'm sorry y'all. I didn't mean to startle yall." Her thick country accent carried down to them. sometimes Merle and Daryl swore she sounded more southern then the both of them combined. If you weren't a good listener you might not understand what she was saying.

"Who the hell are you?" The man calls out walking closer towards her. But still keeping a safe distance. "My name is Y/n Dixon. I am just here to have a safe place to sleep at night. I was always told it's better to be in a group than by yourself." She smiles a innocent smile gaining their trust.

"May I ask y'all, y'alls names, Mr.?" She was waiting for him to answer back with his name, but he didn't.

"If you were always told to stay in a group why are you alone now?" The man asks her. Lowering his gun just a tiny bit.

"I have two brothers." She gives away. "And where are they at?" the man looks around. "Somewhere safe. They sent me to make sure it would be safe to join y'all. That is if yall allow us to join your little group." Y/n says in the calmest voice.

"I want to believe you, but why would two men send a woman somewhere that may not be safe." The man says. He doesn't trust her. You cant trust anyone these days. Y/n understood that. It's not like it's a normal Sunday evening and she's trying to join someones barbecue. This man has a group to protect. and from the looks of it they all are like one big family. She 100% understands doing whatever it takes to take care of family.

"Well, who said they were men? Maybe they're little children? Who are you to say, Mister? My momma said assuming makes ya an ass." Y/n smirked and pierced her lips Leaning on one hip kinda with a small attitude. :)

"I'm sorry." He apologizes for assuming after lori tapped his back for kinda being rude.

"Do you have any weapons on you that might hurt me?" He says as he lowers his gun, slowly approching her. "I'm sorry ain't we in the middle of the apocolypes? 'course I got a weapon. and not to be rude sir, but I don't plan on surrendering them to a bunch of strangers that I don't know."

"I understand." the woman says as she joins the man walking up to her. "My name is Lori. That's Shane." She says as she smiles friendly at the younger woman.

"How many geeks have you killed?" Shane asks Y/n. "I didn't know we were keeping score, but probably a couple hundered." Y/n says. "Have you ever killed a human before?" A human? Y/n thinks. She doesn't tell them the truth and says no. "No, I ain't never killed a human." That's because she wouldn't count that person as a human Ever!

"Your brothers? Have they ever killed a human?" No she shakes her head.

"Get your brother, but you have to put up camp away from us. Until we can gain your trust we cannot fully trust you. We dn't know yall. You can understand that. We have families to protect we can't fight the living along with the dead." Y/n agreed with Shane.

Y/n whistled and the two brothers walk up the hill. Weapons put away until they need to be out.

"These are my older brothers, merle and Daryl dixon. Boys play nice." Y/n says as she introduces her brothers to Shane and Lori.

They welcomed Y/n and Daryl with open arms. Merle well he was a racist pig who treated women, besides his sisters like they're a piece of meet.

Y/n and her brothers set up camp down in the edge of the woods and the water at the quarry. Merle and Daryl set up camp as Y/n gathered wood and twigs and dry leaves to start a fire with. Y/n starts a small fire and builds it big enough to start their supper on. Daryl gives Y/n a few squirrels to roast on the fire. Y/n starts to skin the Squirrels and she hears someone walk up to her. She looks up and sees someone she hadn't met yet.

"Hello, We haven't met." Y/n looks up at the Korean lookin boy. "No, I don't think we have met." Y/n says as she holds her bloody hand out for him to shake. He looked at her outstretched hand and looked a little grossed out. She notices and wipes the blood off on her already dirty jean. "Y/n Dixon, nice to meet you.." "Gleen, Gleen Rhee. It's nice to meet you, miss Dixon." "Just Y/n." She says with a smile.

And that was the beginning of their friendship.

y/n slowly started to fall for the Korean boy. They had a lot alike but at the same time they didn't. He had all the features she wished she had. Optimistic, charismatic, charming, handsome, Grammarly correct. The boy just seemed perfect to Y/n.

As time goes on Y/n creates a bond with the group. She helps the women do laundry, fix supper for the camp, goes hunting with Daryl to help provide food for the camp. Y/n enjoyed having a somewhat "normal" life here at the quarry. She did most of the things she enjoyed doing before. She helped the group when needed. She helped look after the kids when the adults needed a break. She helped cook over the fires for them. When Y/n first cooked for them it was the best meal they had in quite a while. Y/n knew how to cook the squirrels, rabbits and deer perfectly.

Y/n always gave the best parts to Gleen. The one she thought would taste the best. Nobody really paid attention to it, but the one thing they did notice was how Y/n would have less plate on her food then the rest. She always made sure the children would have full stomachs when they went to bed at night. To see that they were just living off wild mushrooms and sometimes fish if they catch was good that day. She was so sad to hear it and made sure that she did everything in her power to make sure the kids always had full bellies wither or not hers was growling with hunger or not.

Merle hated y/ns heart. He wanted her to be selfish like him, but she wasn't. She had always put people before her, her whole entire life. She always put merle and Daryls needs first. he hated it, but that's what she's always done. he secretly loves her for it.

As the days gone by Y/n and Glenn had started becoming closer and closer. Y/n would help him when he went on runs. She was soon to be called on of the best runners for the group. Always on the look out for what they needed/wanted. She always brought a book bag and a duffle bag. she would look for toys, comics, and treats for the kids. Female hygiene products for the women. Including always being on the look out for Motrin . And always on the look out for her brothers favorite candies.

Y/n started to slowly fall for this boy. He was everything she wanted in a man. He always took a risk for the people he called his family. He may have just been a pizza delievery boy, but Y/n always tells herself that she probably would've dated him if she had the chance back before the apocolypes.

Y/n was walking along side the water when Gleen decided to join her. She was enjoying the sounds of nature. Feeling so blessed to not hear the sounds of the dead walking. Y/n and Gleen sat down on the edge of the water. The whole group up at the top of the hill. Everyone enjoy the food they had fixed for supper, frog legs and rabbit.

"You know I always wondered how the world would be if there was an apocolypes." Y/n says as she figgets with a twig in her hand.

"Did you really?" Gleen laughs shaking his head not judging but just enjoying her presence.

"yeah, but not like the dead walking apocalypses. More like the world not functioning anymore. Airborne disease maybe? IDk." The conversations went on. Just some small talk anywhere from where did you live. what kind of life you had etc..

"I was a nurse." Y/n had said. "Really? I don't think I ever expected that." Gleen says shocked. "What does that mean?" Y/n say jokingly offended. "I don't mean it in a rude way. I just never expected a bad ass to be a nurse. I don't really know what i was expecting really." he says as he looks up at the Y/E/C eyed woman.

"Did you ever date before the apocalypse?" Y/n questions, looking into his brown eyes she could stare in forever. "No, did you?" He asks. She giggles. " I tried to date this boy back in high school. His name was John. We "dated" as in we hung out in parking lots with his friends. Smoked a little weed and drank a little bit, but nothing serious. When my brothers found out about him. They threaten to beat him up. And when they did, I never heard from him again." Y/n says laughing at the memory.

"Do you think they'd beat me up?" Y/n smiles up at Gleen. "We can see." She whispered as she leans in giving his lips a small peck testing the waters.

"And if they tried.. They'd have to go through me first. And I'm their favorite sibling over the other. As long as I am happy that's all that matters." Y/n says against his lips smiling up at him through her long eye lashes. Looking into her eyes he deepens the kiss. He lays her back slowly against the ground. They continue making out when Y/n hears her name being yelled. She rolls her eyes as she pecks Gleens lips again before getting up. Gleen looked scared, but when he seen it was just Daryl picking at his little sister like always. "Don't be making no kids. We cant have babies running around 'ere." Daryl laughs at them and stares at them. "Fuck off!" Y/n yells as she flips the bird on her brother and he walks off. and that was just the beginning of their relationship.

[thetoadlessfriendisback]

Stupid quotes from my life as KOTLC characters

"Don't tell your parents I let you have drugs at school" - Leto

"Now your ear won't die because I watered it" - Linh

"We're talking about beans" - Jensi

"Cause Im dating (Sophie) now" - fitz "Aren't we all?" - Keefe

"Pheew, almost admitted I was smart there for a second" - Keefe "That tie you're wearing is awful" - Biana "Im a vice principal, everything about my life is awful" - Leto

"Don't you hate it when you're playing the piano and it turns into a whale" - Dex (Idk why, just the vibe)

"I dont trust anything without knee caps" - Tam

"They had a stabbing party, then we had drinks" - Gisela

"You sound like a goose thats running out of batteries" - Sophie

"I am an old man" - Forkle and/or Bronte

"How old are you man?" - The Council "182..." - Sophie "So what are you doing with alcohol Everblaze/Quintessence/An Alicorn/The Black Swan/LITERALLY EVERYTHING?" "Drinking Holding it?"

"WHAT IF I BELIEVE IN STRANGLING TAM" - Keefe

"You people and your self deprivation!" - Biana

"Ive grown more gay" - Alden

“I’m a pretty butterfly, butterfly" - Biana

"FIGHT ME ON DANCE TILES 3 LIKE A REAL MAN" - Dex

"How many souls can I destroy?" - Gisela

“Im not here to be a good person, I’m here to make the other person cry.” - Fintan

"Women think men want a girl who is skinny, blonde, blue eyes, ect. But what men really want IS TO FIND POSEIDON'S LOST CITY OF ATLANTIS!!!!!" - Keefe

“new plan. We just set the world on fire.” - Brant “no” - Jolie “Coward” - Brant

“Life’s uncertain, eat dessert first” - Elwin

“Going behind your back works better when your not facing me.” - Keefe

“Oh, I’ve always wanted to be a murderous lord” - Alvar

“A cabbage for your thoughts?”- Flori

“Leafs be leafs. Picking up leafs be smelling like leafs” - Calla

“Yeah that makes sense why my DANG SHOES RAN AWAY” - Dex

“Eat your fries or I’ll snuff your soul” - Marella

"Im home but never alone because Singing jesus is with me"

"ive seen gay parades straighter than the sky." - Keefe in the sanctuary

“You need to become fish” - Linh

[kpop---scenarios]

Stolen Heart (4)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three 

@ninibears-erigom​ @baekwell--tart​ @mint-yooxgi​ @kimjongdaely​ @yeoldontknow​ @suhoerections​ @fairyyeols​

Warning: Mentions of drugs and guns and smut

Word Count: 1.5k

Baekhyun was so confusing to you. He told you to stay away but saved you time and time again. You knew he probably meant it the last time he told you to back off. He was probably tired of you just happening to end up being the damsel in distress but you couldn't help it. You wanted to see him, he was so mysterious and angry. Honestly you were incredibly turned on by his secretive nature and the bad boy vibes he so eloquently pulled off. 

That night you stood outside O'douls in your skinny jeans that you paired with a white tank top to keep it simple. Your stomach was flipping upside down in knots as you tried to convince yourself to go ahead and pull that bar door open. The one right there with the giant O on it, the door that would lead you to see the man who claimed he didn't care about you but his actions definitely proved otherwise. 

Taking one more deep breath, you pulled open the door to O'douls, a bar frequented by gangs, bikers, drug dealers, etc. They were the type of people your mom warned you about, the kind of people you didn't want to hang around, somewhere a girl like you should never be, yet here you were with your hand clutched to the handle of the door, slowly pulling it open. 

The bar was smaller than you thought it would be, and you had expected it to be packed with people but it was quiet, with only a few people who weren't happy with your intrusion. You stood inside the bar, looking at the back of a man you knew was Baekhyun and just in front of him, from what you could see was a table with drugs laid out across it, guns surrounding the drugs and three terrifying men sitting across from Baekhyun. 

"Well, who do we have here?" One man growled, looking you up and down. 

Baekhyun slowly turned around, looking you directly in the eyes. You could see the sudden change of emotion when he realized it was you, anger, and then terror before back to anger. 

"Get the fuck out. We're busy." Baekhyun snaps. You wanted to leave. At this moment, you would have listened to him, but unfortunately for you, your legs had decided they weren't going to work at the moment. Your stomach dropped, knots taking over, along with a lump in your throat. 

"Go!" Baekhyun growls, but still your body is made of jello at the moment you weren't going anywhere. 

"Now now, Byun. Let's let this pretty little thing come sit on my lap. Maybe she wants to come do a little line with me?" One man says, winking at you. 

You sure did not. 

"C'mere." Another man demands but you don't move. 

"Jinyoung. Leave it alone." Baekhyun snaps. 

"Shut the fuck up, Byun. C'mere bitch." Jinyoung demands again. 

"I won't tell you again, Jinyoung." Baekhyun snaps. "Leave it the fuck alone." He snaps, backing up slightly and putting his hand around your wrist and pulling you behind him. 

"And I won't tell you again, Byun. Shut the fuck up and lemme have my fun. Or is this bitch yours? She looks like she wants to come over here, so c'mon princess, come see daddy." Jinyoung purred. 

"I don't want anything to do with you." You blurt out by accident. You had been thinking it and then Baekhyun put his hand on your wrist and it felt nice, then your mouth began to speak without permission. Shit. 

"What'd you say bitch?" Jinyoung snaps, standing up from the table in a rage. 

"You wanna keep our good standing, good drugs and guns? You'll leave her the fuck alone, and let her go with no issues, Jinyoung. Or do you want a repeat of the last time you tried to fuck with us? You're not quite as strong since you lost Jackson." Baekhyun says. 

"Is that a threat?" Jinyoung asks with a smile. 

"Nah man, it's a fucking promise." Baekhyun spits. 

Jinyoung's smile fades away as he motions for the other two men to stand up and follow him out. "Our usual order of coke, meth, crystal and pills." Jinyoung says to Baekhyun before looking at you. "I'll be seeing you soon, princess." He finishes, sliding his gun into the waist of his jeans and walking out of the bar. 

Once Jinyoung and his men leave, you feel as though you can finally breathe. Baekhyun turns around to face you, his face angry and stone cold. 

"You just don't listen do you?" He snaps, walking slowly towards you. You walk backwards, terrified of how he was, and how mad he seemed to be at the moment. 

"I just.." you stuttered. 

"What? You just what?" He asked, backing you into a wall. 

Baekhyun leans in close, you can feel his hot breath on your ear as he slams his hand against the wall next to your head. "I've told you time and time again to not come around. Why can't you listen?" He growls. 

"Because.. I want to see you." You confess. 

"I've told you to stay away from me. I'm a dangerous man." He says. "I'll tell you one more time. Stay far away. Now get out." He snaps, walking away from you. 

"I don't want to stay away." You admit, walking towards him. "I can't stop thinking about you." 

You hear a small rumble from inside him as his back faces you. "I'm not good for you." He snaps. 

"You don't get to decide what's good for me and what's not. I decided that, and I have yet to see where you aren't." You say, even though you know he's right. The drugs, the guns, sketchy people are all good enough reasons, but not for you. 

Baekhyun swiftly turns around, looking you in the eyes. "Trust me when I say I will just end up ruining you." 

"I don't care." You whisper. 

Baekhyun reaches out, wrapping his large hand around the back of your neck, pulling your body into his before he harshly presses his lips to yours while pushing you against the wall. He hands reach for yours, lifting them both up and pinning them over your head while his tongue slides into your mouth deepening the kiss. 

He keeps both your hands pinned against the wall with one hand while his other one roam's your body, sending shivers down your spine. Baekhyun breaks the kiss, placing small kisses on your neck and chest. He releases your arms, gripping the neck of your shirt before tearing it in half, exposing your perky breasts. 

You knew today was a good day to go without a bra. 

Baekhyjn reaches down, cupping your breast, placing a nipple in his mouth, harshly sucking on the hard bud. 

"Mhm." You moan. 

"We need to make this fast." He growls, turning you around. "Pull down your pants." He demands. 

You quickly undo your pants, pulling them down enough that you're able to spread your legs and bend over. Baekhyun groans from behind you, undoing his own pants and letting his hard cock spring free, pre cum seeping from the tip of his cock.

"Shit." He groans, lining himself up with you before pushing his cock inside your tight pussy. 

Baekhyun reaches around, grabbing your throat, and pulling you back flush against him while he squeezes your neck and brutally fucks you. 

"I knew your pussy would feel so fucking good." He grunts, pumping himself into you. His hand leaves your throat, trailing down your body and in between your legs before rubbing your clit. Baekhyun relishes in the sound of your moans, and you telling him to fuck you faster. 

Fuck he loves it. 

He continues to fuck you, rubbing your clit roughly. Judging by the sound of your moans you were going to cum soon. 

"Oh god." You cry out. 

"Cum." He demands.

With those words, you cum immediately, soaking his cock with your wetness. 

"Fuck." He grunts, his thrusts becoming faster but sloppier. 

"I'm gunns cum." He yells, pulling his cock out of you and bending you over with one hand, becoming using his other one to rub his cock and cum all over your back. 

Baekhyun catches his breath before pulling up his pants and finding a cloth to wipe you down with. 

Once the two of you were dressed and settled, and you had a sweater on over your ripped shirt, Baekhyjn began to talk. 

"Look.." he says, being cut off by someone outside yelling. 

"Princess? Are you still in here?" You hear the voice of Jinyoung before the first door is pulled open. 

"Shit." Baekhyun whispers. He grabs a gun, tucking it in the waist of his jeans before grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the back of the building. 

"I know you're here. You never left." You hear in the front of the bar while you and Baekhyun slip through the back. 

Nothing ever works out the way it should. 

[sailingintothenight]

“WANNABE.” T.H. Imagine.

And what if after years of chasing each other like a cat and mouse, you and Tom started to wonder if you wanna be something else in each other's life?

A/N: I am posting a one shot after weeks of writer's block. I hope you like it. It's 9:30 pm in Peru and it's still April 28, so it's still my birthday! Give it a try. Pleaseeeeee! And yes, I borrowed a scene from Mean Girls (Because I loveeee that movie)

“Hello God, it's me again, (y/n). What's up? I know we haven't talked much lately, but, hey, listen, I have a favor to ask you- I have behaved well, I haven’t gotten drunk at any crazy party of any Hollywood star and I haven't accepted drugs, ever: I'm afraid my grandmother will appear in my room as a ghost and pull my blankets in the middle of the night, plus, I haven't make out with any Stone-cold Hollywood hottie, and trust me, I've had more than one chance. Anyway, about the favor–”

"Yes, but (y/n)'s grandfather invited us to his birthday party..."

Tom's voice startles you and cuts off your internal dialogue, turning you back to the reality.

It’s 6 am. The sun shines in the clear sky, and you are on a flight back to England in a luxury privet jet that is about to arrive at the airport, while Haz, Harry, Tom and you are sitting in comfortable velvety seats, with the view of morning sky on your left side. 

The exciting memory of your last recording still seemed to run through your veins, too exciting to let you sleep. Because that was the end, the goodbye after incredible months. All your efforts from the past months were hidden behind that last performance that looked like a fantasy, except for the kiss, ugh, you had to erase it from your mind. But now, you're going back home, ready to take a break away from the set-up bridge and blue and green backgrounds, away from the makeup artists who gave your face the final touches of the magic of Hollywood, far from the suit of a superhero who had just won her last battle and who got the cute boy, Peter Parker.

But not far away from Tom Holland.

Because evil takes a human form in Tom Holland, your lifelong neighbor.

How do you even begin to explain Tom Ho– Stop, people say that if you pronounce his name 3 times a curse falls on you.

But fans say Tom Holland is flawless, you heard his curly hair is insured for 10,000 dollars, his favorite movie is “Spider-man Homecoming”, duh, and very soon, “far from home”. One time he met Robert Downey Jr. in his own village and he started hyperventilating, and once he threw a fan's phone on the floor and she said it was awesome.

"Please don't tell me you're going to his birthday party." You complain, because you can't help it.

"Would that bother you that much, darling?" Tom smiles, tilting his head back so that his tender smile fits perfectly with his tender face. “Then of course I will go. Also, your grandfather still has the hope his granddaughter would get a man like me.”

"Ew. Why would my dear grandfather want me to be with someone who enjoys keeping a frog in his mouth?" You ask, earning yourself an Oscar for best actress with the innocence you exude and the seriousness you manage to put on your face, even when Tom's eyes narrow from the attack you just launched, while, enjoying the show, his friend and his younger brother laughs, shaking heads with a familiar expression on their faces because of the familiar discussion between you and him that happens, every two or three days. "Seriously, Tom, give the poor Henry a break."

"Henry?" Tom asks with real confusion, his accent thick, while the other male voices ask it in a collective whisper too.

"I named your frog Henry, hope it doesn't bother you." And you laugh, victorious to feel how Tom exhales the air through his nose.

“Seriously, (y/n), when will you confess that you are in love with me? You don't have to be so shy, darling.” Tom laughs too, using his finger to tap your nose, because he knows perfectly well that you don't like that, just as you don't like being called darling anymore. “Ray is a wise man, you should listen to your grandfather."

"Yes, if you like skinny ones."

"I'm not skinny. I have the perfect body.” Tom defends himself.

"For now, but in a couple of years you will named your big belly as your dad does after drinking with mine." You laugh like a little girl because you love Dom, because he's warm and funny, because he loves his wife and children, and because of how funny he is when he and your dad have had too much alcohol, like the time they started a cartwheel contest in the middle of the street. "Who's there? It's Dom Junior.”

"Shut up! My dad is still sexy!” A heavy silence falls over the small place as everyone looks at Tom with furrowed brows and true confusion, but that's when he realizes the choice of words he used to refer to his dad. "That's not what I meant!"

You raise your hands in a sign of peace, your gaze avoiding his as you stop yourself from laughing and mocking him.

"That's so wrong, Tom." Harry says, with a certain bittersweet taste on the tip of his tongue. "Now because of you I won't be able to see dad's belly the same way."

Harry and Haz chuckle at Dom's expense.

But when the jet landed smoothly on the headlight-lit runway in the early hours of the morning, the heavy hours from the past months feels now as if they weighed the same as a feather, pain and exhausting sleepless nights disappeared in the blink of an eye, and now, there is no oceans that could make you feel far away, because in the end, you always came back home.

"Besides..." You say to finish that conversation, your backpack on your shoulder before making the victory path towards the stairs to get off the plane. "I would like a boyfriend who can grow a mustache, not like the failed attempt on your face. Thank you very much."

"Hey!" Tom frowns as you pass him by, and his voice rises even higher than it already is. "My doctor says it's just a hormone problem."

"Damn, bro..." Harry laughs as he puts an arm around Tom's shoulder, giving him a brotherly hug before walking out to the car waiting outside. “(Y/n) will be hard to catch, you know? But try it, maybe you will make it in this century."

Harry laughs, and then, walks out of the plane.

"What does that mean?" Tom asks Harrison, who is still waiting by his side.

"I think he meant that you are in love with (y/n), but you haven't noticed it yet."

Harrison chuckles, but after patting Tom on the back, he rushes to place a hand on his best friend's shoulder to stop him.

“Hey, mate… you, uh…” Tom's eyes soften, almost to the point where his brown eyes resembled the gaze of a little 5-year-old boy, sad, and lost. “You haven't told anyone why we came back, right?”

“Of course not.” Harrison says, and his gaze smiles just like his lips. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? We are home, you are home. You can take the time you need to rest.”

Tom nods, unsure, but tries to be strong as they both get off the plane. 

The gray autumn clouds hang with invisible strings in the sky as Tom Holland, actor, handsome, wealthy, and the loneliest person in the world, releases a deep breath that is lost among the sounds of the world, because his world is no longer sparkling or velvety thanks to the cameras or a red carpet, and while his new movie is a box office hit that never in his best dreams he would have imagined, something wasn't right for him.

That’s why he is back home.

The car ride is silent as some sleep, except you and Tom, because your eyes seem to recognize the streets you grew up in, because your hearts recognize your home. But for Tom, he recalls tilting his body to the left and a camera captured his best actor pose a week ago, but since then, his body has felt null, as if floating in the air and no longer responding to his orders. He was crystal clear, but a few people seemed to see clearly through him. Tom tries to convince himself that the tickling in his hands is his body's response to tiredness and not his anxiety, because he suffers it too, but he feels that something is eating his soul.

"Are you okay, Tom?"

Among a sea of ​​people, Tom Holland has always pretended to be an interesting person, but now, he takes a deep breath and looks at you, nervous, lost in the middle of that huge world, but you, looking back at him gives him peace, because he doesn’t feel alone anymore. 

What did you think? That someone is interested in knowing if you are really okay? Of course they care, right?

“Of course, darling.” Tom smiles, as if in a snap of fingers, everything is fine.

But there, he catches a movement of yours.

You tilt your head to the side, like his beloved Tessa when she is curious about something, but he doesn't say it out loud because you would take it the wrong way, but the movement in slow motion worthy of a Hollywood scene and the serenity of your gaze makes Tom hold his breath, that breath that previously didn't fit his chest with so many problems that he carried inside.

But suddenly he can breathe again, finally.

“Okay.”

The minutes pass until the car stops on a street that you two recognize perfectly. When everyone is out, the car leaves, but because your favorite boys are about to leave, too, you hug everyone as the promise to celebrate Harrison's birthday next week hangs in the air. You love them so much, because they are beautiful people who helped you to save yourself from the storms of doubts and fears, each of them in their own charming way, and for that, you were grateful.

"My friend Danielle is coming so I would like you to meet her, Haz." You chuckle adorably before leaving, noting that Harrison's smile is as real as his desire to meet her.

"I'm looking forward to it, darling."

"Wait, why he can call you darling?" Tom says, and for a second, you see a sparkle in the brightness of his eyes, but as the door of his house opens and his beloved Tessa runs to receive him, the confusion disperses like the morning haze.

"There she is the only darling you will ever get, Thomas."

And the moment you turn around, because the door of your house opens too, you lose sight of Tom's honest smile and the question that he hides behind his sweet eyes. Was he in love with you all this time without realizing it? And what if he wanna be your boyfriend? 

Oh, right. The favor that you were going to ask God for? To get you a boyfriend, a cute one, a hot one... maybe like Tom. Weird, isn't it?

Tag list: @galaxies-of-the-heart​

[saccharine-suffering]

Personal Branding

I’m back! I’ve been writing a lot of non-whump story, but the next like nine are all super whumpy. So :)

Read it on AO3

Masterlist

When he awoke, the first thing Micah noticed was the cold. The air around him was damp and cold. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he tried to hold onto himself for warmth- but he couldn't move. The intense chill distracted him from the rope binding his wrists and ankles to a worn wooden chair.  As he continued to wake up from his forced sleep, he noticed more and more- like the cloth gag shoved far into his mouth and light footsteps.  A feminine voice broke the deafening silence.

"Are you awake? You've been out for hours." Micah could barely make out her tiny silhouette. She couldn't have been any taller than five feet. Plus, it was near impossible to see anything in the suffocating darkness. The girl flicked on the light, practically blinding Micah. There was a dull, yet intense pain shot through his head the second the light came on. Micah retracted and whined from the discomfort. 

"Do you have a concussion?" She jumped in again, "We've been trying to stop doing that." There was no way this girl was his captor. She was tiny. Blonde and skinny- dressed up in baby pink and wearing gentle makeup. Her glassy green eyes had a look of care and softness behind them. No way. No fucking way. The person who beat him up and drugged him was almost his height. They were strong. He refused to believe it. 

"Now, I know what you're thinking- 'Where am I? Who are you? What's happening?'" She began to flick through a file folder as she spoke in a casual tone, "Don't worry- well, do worry. I guess you are in a lot of danger. You are somewhere no one will find you. You're here because someone paid a lot of money to put you on a list. And you can call me Dollface- and you're my property now." She smiled at him, provoking him to struggle in his restraints. 

"I can already tell you'll be a fun one." She continued sorting through pages in the folder, "Micah Santonio." She read, closing the folder after. "I like that name. I won't change it." Micah started to take in his surroundings, following her as she walked around the room. From what he could see, there was a staircase against the far wall- which seemed to be the only way in and out. There was blood on the floor and chair, chains hanging from several spots on the ceiling. On the far left wall, a series of metal cabinets and counters. Next to it, a few shelves. From what he knew, displayed on the wall, was a few knives, a whip, a blowtorch, and a stun gun. But Dollface was digging through a cabinet, clearly looking for something specific. She eventually pulled out a hot glue gun- a hefty looking one, without a cord. She then moved to grab the blowtorch off the shelf. 

Micah continued to panic and struggle. Dollface smiled at him as he fruitlessly tried to speak through his gag. She placed the items at his feet and leaned in close to him. Micah could finally see her up close. Her eyes were soft, but they pierced his heart like a blade. He couldn't pinpoint what was so threatening about this girl. 

"Do you have something to say, love?" Her voice was like poison. A voice that Micah knew would be more than enough to send him to his knees in the near future. He frantically nodded. Dollface untied the fabric wrapping around his head and pulled out the ball of cloth in his mouth. He took a wheezing breath and let his jaw relax. "So? What did you need to tell me?"  Micah realized he needed to say something. He wanted to get out of the gag so badly that he neglected what it actually meant. He had to think fast. After a few seconds of him shaking his head in panic, Micah was finally able to choke out a few words. 

"Please... I don't know what you're about to do, but don't do it. We- we can talk! Let's talk." His voice sounded more desperate than he meant it to, causing Dollface to giggle slightly. 

"Cute voice, too. And don't worry- this won't even hurt. Compared to everything else I'm gonna do."  She lightly tapped the tip of his nose and smiled. At this point, the glue gun was heated up and dripping the melted plastic. She circled back of him as he continued to try to plead with her. Dollface pulled down his shirt enough to expose his left shoulderblade. 

She then delicately seared a symbol into his shoulderblade with the gun. When he tried to squirm away from the white-hot burning, she delivered an elbow to his gut. He clenched his hands so hard his fingernails dug into the palms of his hands. Blood pooled in his hands as he let out a soul-piercing scream. Micah was breathing heavily when she pulled away. He let out a quivering breath as tears fell down his cheeks. 

"You made a lot of noise." Dollface's voice had a kind of spice to it. What was once bittersweet now was just bitter. He could almost hear her cruel smile. "That was just the outline. Things are gonna get a lot worse." His heart sank when he heard the gas of the blowtorch ignite. His thrashing grew more violent when the flame made contact with his skin. He felt it burn deeper and deeper into his flesh. The smell was repulsive. He just kept screaming louder and louder until his voice fell into a raspy whine. He was crying so hard hat no more noise came out, despite his bloodshot eyes and teardrops staining his face. 

The torch clicked off and Micah swallowed hard, trying to stop sobbing. She gently touched his skin, which was more than enough to make him whimper. The cold water she sprayed on the wound was completely blissful. The old rag less so. After a few moments of picking stray bits of glue from his skin, Dollface came back around the front of her victim. 

"You don't seem to have a very high pain tolerance." She lifted his chin to force eye-contact. Micah shook his head no in response. "Well," she softly cupped his cheek, "things only get worse from here." 

[nofoodclub]

Finally got my hookup its making me feel much better unsurprisingly fuck t telling me i should quit if i want a shot with him then being like this i don't need to quit it isint harming my life rn yeah i coukd be saving the money but it woukd go to dabs if not this before him i wasnt smoking that much so i can go back to that after my 4 day t break lol more like week+ break from t

With w and his girl who im not too sure abt yet but a3 way is def a possibility i think soooo that would be cool shes pretty for sure i works def go for it esp with this happy w like dang he's a lot more attractive when happy but i still feel odd about the whole being sexual with him after all this time or works have to mean something anything more than just sex now no matter what i think in the moment I'm maybe taking him home and tonight would be the last night to try anything like that even though he proclaims he's so in love with her i know i mean more to him yikes jealousy starting already i need to get over my need to be loved and just be happy with what i have is but much but i have solid friends who care if sucks that it takes meth to realize this but my brain has been fucked ever since that first time i think it didn't affect k in that way but it hit me harder i think. Drugs are the only thing that can get me back to clear headed and able to be happy with what i have as bad as that is i don't care rn this drug didn't affect my composition like weed and helps keep me from binging like i have been going back to the past few days without it yeah that might have been withdrawals and if u have it more time it coukd have evened out but rn i don't have the patience for that i wave to fit into the clothes i just bought and feel good in them and that won't happen until I'm skinny my goal weight has always been about 130 and with this i can get there for sure will have some extra skin hanging air but that can be removed and with my psych signing off that the extra skin is negatively affecting me i coukd get it covered i bet. I just need to not do what i did last night. That was a weak moment that lead me to seek happiness in the only way i knew how that instant rush of dopamine gave me what i was missing and i could go on with my night in a slightly less out of my head method than before i just hate that it is going to leave fresh scars on me. I almost have a body for for a bikini if i starve a few more pounds off why ruin it with more marks on my legs that are obviously from mental illness that's just ugly and sad. Ill be ok as long as i don't follow anyone else's plan for me. I need to make my own path and run with it that's why I'm banking on this screen printing job it would be so perf for me i coukd actually be happy

We will see how this goes

[undeservedfavor]

Update Varies

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The Bucketlist

Mini-Series of Short Stories

SILK-Should I Let him Know[EN]:Chapter 2

Phoebe entered the door of the school.

Her heart was pounding...

She doesn't know what to expect today.

Ever since the accident...

First day of school was always a nightmare for her.

Not because she's mistreated...

But because people only see what she cannot do with her condition.

They do not recognize what she can do anymore.

People looked at her very differently because of her leg.

She saw a guy standing at the hallway and went to her.

"Do you need help miss?" The guy asked.

Phoebe nodded.

The guy was about to lift her books but...

She protested.

"You didn't even ask me what I need help with. I actually just need help in finding the Biology Lab... I appreciate it though. This would do." Phoebe said smiling to the guy.

The guy smiled back as he continued to carry her things.

"There you go. This the Bio-Lab. Anything else Miss?" The guy said returning the books carefully to Phoebe.

"Phoebe. Major in Biology. Thank you sir..." The name rang the guys ears.

"Joshua. Communication Arts Student." They both almost laughed at being too formal.

"See you around then..." Phoebe said.

"Just a tip. Ignore their weird stares, that won't kill you. Ciao." Joshua said.

With that...

He already left.

Phoebe was already preparing her things on top of her desk when she realizes that she was too early for class.

"Well... I appreciate early birds around here. I usually got tardy students... But never this early. In fact... You're earlier than me."A praise from a woman who just came in.

"Uhm... Thanks? I guess." Phoebe said.

"Oh pardon me... Sorry for not introducing myself. I'm Mrs. Freeman. I'm your Biology 101 professor." Said the woman.

"Nice meeting you Mrs. Freeman." She answered.

Later, the class started.

Mrs. Freeman told them to buddy up but there is not one single sould who wanted to sit beside and partner up with Phoebe.

The seat next to her is empty too.

"Phoebe, I guess it's you and me again..." Phoebe said mocking herself for fun.

The class turned their heads to the newly opened door as another student just arrived.

"Sorry I'm late." Said the familiar voice.

Phoebe was shocked.

She was overwhelmed by the presence of the man.

She cannot be mistaken.

He's still the same guy he met way back in middle school.

The guy who became his friend once.

This guy who never considered anyone's existence except for Zoriah's...

Is gonna sit beside her again...

"Hi. It's been a while... Phoebs." The man turned to her.

"Z-zack... Yeah. What a coincidence." Phoebe answered with a nervous laughter.

"G-guys? OMG. I can't believe I'm seeing the both of you here again!" A woman almost screamed behind them.

"Zoriah?" Phobe was shocked.

Oh, boy.

Is this a reunion or what?

"I-it's nice to see you again Zoriah... You looked prettier..." Phoebe saw it again...

The look that Zack gave Zoriah back then...

Is the same look that Zack has on his face right now.

"And hotter... Right Zack?" Phoebe said in addition.

Zack just nodded mindlessly.

He was still at awe when he saw his first crush...

No!

Let's rephrase that...

His 'first love'...

Since Zack is passed and got into the football team...

He missed almost everything about Zoriah...

He did not have enough time to hang out...

It was just Phoebe and Zoriah getting close to each other for the passed two years...

One day, after class, Phobe was left alone in the room since she's not like the normal students who can just barge out of the classroom when the class is over.

"Phoebs!" She heard a familiar voice call her out.

"Oh Zack, Zoriah did not attend the class, she said she's sick. What brings you here?" Phoebe said.

"Oh, I'll tell you later but... Why are you still her-?" He stopped as he realized why Phoebe cannot go home as fast as the others...

"Y-your leg... Does it still hurt?" Phoebe just nodded and sighed.

"I miss being normal like anyone else... You were about to tell me something..." She said.

"I have a favor to ask... Since you're so close with Zoriah..." Zack was hesitant.

"What is it?" She asked.

Zack held his nape nervously and spoke...

"Can you be my 'Wing-woman'?" He asked.

While he was talking Phoebe got pre-occupied again.

For her, it's like history repeated itself.

Then, the question popped out of nowhere...

Or did it come from the back of her mind?

Should I let him know?

Where ever it came from, she doesn't know and she doesn't care...

She cannot even pay attention to the man speaking in front of him for she asked herself again...

While Phoebe was on her way home, she can't help but think about what Zack asked.

The guy she likes...

No.

The man she loves, just asked if she can give him a leverage since he's planning to court her bestfriend.

Cruel and mean?

For Phoebe, it is.

For Zack, nah...

He doesn't know Phoebe's feelings anyway...

"Thank goodness, you're home Phobe, you should have called us that you need a ride home. Sweetie, would you like some Bacon and Eggs?" Phoebe's mom's asked her when she arrived and opened the door.

"I'll pass." She answered as she goes up the stairs.

Who eats Bacon and Eggs for Dinner?

They're weird, maybe that's the reason I'm weird too...

"Ugh! I can't believe I said 'yes' to him!" Phoebe said as she plopped down her bed.

She covered her face with both of her hands...

Almost two years has almost gone by...

Phoebe did everything in her power to be Zack's Wing-woman, giving Zack a boost by telling Zoriah good things about Zack, telling Zack what Phoebe likes and being there for him to pin-point what went wrong when Zoriah's getting annoyed of the courtship.

"Who will you date at the Graduation Ball Z?" Phoebe asked Zoriah.

They're at the girl locker-room changing for Gym class.

"Shhh... I know what you're trying to do Phoebe. Zack is not more than a friend and that's it." Zoriah said.

"I'm not doing anything..." Phoebe said innocently.

"Whatever Phoebs... Don't you think I'm getting fatter?" Zoriah siad as she drank one of her diet pills... The question she always asked Phoebe which confused her.

"If you're fat... I'd probably be kicked out by your mom everytime I go to your house, for unintenstionally breaking your room's floor and your house's ceiling downstairs using my weight." Phoebe joked.

Actually, Zoriah's pretty...

But she's a bit skinny, like a model.

Not that it's a bad thing, Phoebe even admired how Zoriah takes care of her figure and her weight.

She has a super metabolism that everything she eats flushes away that easily without even exercising.

But her weight loss is getting drastic as time goes by which worries her family and friends...

"Excuse me Phoebs, I'll go out. Coach is waiting outside." When Zoriah got up, she did not noticed that she dropped the bottle of her diet pills.

"Z, you dropped something..." She called but Zoriah did not hear it.

Then she went to pick up the bottle, she did not mean to but she saw the name of the drug...

"Fluoxetine - Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI)." Phoebe read the label.

She searched it online but...

It turned out to be confusing.

It was a type of anti-depressant.

Not a diet pill.

"Ahhh!!! Zoriah!!!" Someone screamed outside.

When Phoebe went outside she saw Zack carrying the unconscious Zoriah.

The look of worry etched on his face.

The look that he did not even feign for her when she got her leg injured.

When they got to the hospital. Zack was there too.

The doctors told them about Zoriah's medical history and background. She's Bullimic.

"Z, don't do that to yourself again... You look perfect in anyway possible. I love you." Zack held and kissed Zoriah's hand.

"Zack... I love you too..." Zoriah said holding Zack's cheek.

"I-I have to go..." Phoebe left them alone. She couldn't stand to be there with them.

She went outside to get some fresh air but how unfortunate... It rained.

She did not go back inside and let the rain pour into her head.

The tears would not be so obvious with water anyway. She thought.

Then, the rain really struck some sense into her head. A sudden realization came...

It's time to let him go... Zoriah needs him.

A month after, they all went to the graduation ball. Zack and Zoriah went together... Well, Phoebe does not have a date. The night was going well. She watched Zoriah and Zack danced all night. They looked so good together. Zoriah was resting her head at Zack's chest while the man, holding the small of her back. It really hurts but she just smiled with content.