#i want to but. money. ill just play the recent games

[randomminty]

You are a real one for remembering Lorelei's OG RBY/PokeSpe design. (I love her anime one it has such wild librarian/office lady vibes.)

YAAYY i love her rby design... while were here i think we should all look at her scrapped gen 2 design as well

Important. They were going to give her a little jacket

[vipersiia]

XYX HEADCANONS

i have recently joined the bloomic discord and talked abt xyx, with,,, so many people and here r my headcanons, there are,,, a Lot of them and they are so so so fluffy i promise

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL - he has such a thing for petnames, and will Melt if u reciprocate

absolute pro at not being able to take what he can dish out, dont fret though, he absolutely builds a tolerance

ironically uses terrible pet-names in public, if you use some on him he Will make it a competition and he Will win ("snookums here wants a refund on this." "yes sorry, mcdreamy here said it didn't look good on me" "oh schmoopy , how you wound me i did not sa that")

xyx is such a people-pleaser, so he Knows what you like and what you don't, he'll keep an eye on your expressions subtly ("hey babe why is there so much snack you really like in our pantry?" "it was on sale!")

he will Spoil you, he's not the type to spend a lot of money on himself but on You?? oh you better watch out

still careful with his money but if you're eyeing that bag, or pair of shoes, or poster, he will buy it for you.

even if you off-handedly comment wanting something, expect it in your arms Soon ("i saw this really cool poster at the mall today?" "oh really? what did it look like doll?" "it was like, of my favourite character holding their love interest" "oh thats very cool" schemes)

will absolutely do the evil villain chair in dark thing with Cat if you come home late ("i've been,, expecting you" "babe its 1 am what are you doing up?")

he knows your favourite drink, exactly how you like it, and it tastes perfect everytime. YOU NEVER TOLD HIM EITHER, he just had you try a buncha things and watched your reactions ("hey love, im trying out a new recipe, wanna try?" "of course!")

dont think about it but seeing him playing with cat, watching the muscles in his arm flex??? him Noticing you noticing and flexing a lil harder, before going all out, Cat meowing indignantly over his bicep???

stop thinking about xyx coming home from work, seeing you and Cat cuddling on the couch?? being so in love that he scored someone as amazing as you?? he is just, so so so, in love with you at the moment?? that he just, comes over, picking u both up and twirlin you around. Cat immediately, outraged bats him the face but he doesn't notice because you're giggling so hard rn

if he's meeting your parents??? ohhh be prepared, he is such a smooth talker and hes Proud. He comes in, nicest most neutral cologne, nice powersuit, a subtle chain necklace with your initial???

he is All smooth talk, keepin an eye out for any cues of like or dislike on topics, always complimenting whoever cooked

when getting to the Interrogation? oh he's Ready ("so what do you do for a living" "oh well i work as a lawyer, it makes me elated to be able to provide for mc like i can" "nice, nice" *visibly impressed*)

the car ride home after??? oh he is Menace, he is all grins, puffin out his chest like a bird ("doll they loOoooveee me" "did you see that? arent you proud love?") you're gonna have to keep saying yes but its okayyy because you're both sickeningly in love with eachother

him being hella cheesy, tellin u one day ("hey doll, i bet i can hold the entire universe in my hands" "what??") and immediately cupping your face??? pulling you into a soft kiss??

you keeping that in ur mind,,, ready to strike back?? sitting on the couch with him laying between them, cheek pressed into your thigh as you both play with Cat? when Cat leaves, leaning down and cupping his face in your hands??? ("you are so gorgeous babe") and he goes Red (mc - 1 / xyx - 4million), his breath Stops.

leaning down to kiss him??? catching him even more off-guard?? absolute knock-out. he tries so hard to play it off ("ill never be as gorgeous as you doll") but being sooo off his game? so caught off guard??

a sunshower happening, cue you, dancing in the rain like a madman??? him coming over and seeing you?? glad u cant see him because he is Positive he looks so sappy rn. eventually meeting his eye?? running up to him and grabbing him by the hand?? leading him into the rain?? he immediately takes over the dance, spinnin and twirlin you around.

pulling you into his arms?? arms resting on your hips as you grab him by the face?? pulling him into a kiss???? laughter breaking out between you two, as he peppers your face in kisses??

doing research on filipino wedding customs, finding out that you traditionally ask the parents for their blessing

ASKING XYX'S PARENTS FOR THEIR BLESSING?? going over to their house for a dinner plan, getting him distracted and asking his parents for their blessing??? planning the wedding with them??? burning the unity candle?? the rice toss?? the money dance???

at the altar, can't even get though the first line of his vows before he cries ( "and i, xyx tak-" *literally sobbing*)

DOING HARANA FOR HIM??? getting all the members of the bloomic server to participate, as you sing his praises? good at singing or not he is so choked up in giggly, hands over face ugly bawling

lighting the unity candle with him is a whole ordeal, neither of you can stay still long enough to keep the flame steady, almost lighting the tablecloth on fire

him holding you as close as you can fit against him?? teary eyed all over again because wow, he cant believe that you really wanted to marry him??

post first dance, as the night wanes, hiding behind the couples table, on the floor, in his arms??? as he feeds u mango sticky rice and vice versa???

sayin sum cheesy shit like ("oops i missed a spot, hold still love") before leaning in for a kiss??? not realizing the photographer AND videograper saw this and got it all in 4k??

the discord prompts that inspired me, thank u i luv u all(real)

[crushedsweets]

Hello! I hope you are well!

Do you think it’s possible for you to go into Jeff and Nina’s relationship please? Like are they together or is like Jeff taking advantage of Nina liking him so much?

Sorry if you’ve already done this! I love your writing, you’re so talented 🕸️ x

its actually crazy to me that i havent actually written a thing about jeff and nina oh my god. thank you by the way you are so sweet. of course tw for manipulation, abuse, etc

OK BACKSTORY

nina is a year or two younger than jeff, and was only around 12-13 when she found out about jeffs murders and rampages. since she was like 7, she was always obsessed with horror movies, gore, eventually true crime and stuff . . just awful things that kids shouldnt have access to but thats what the internet does

she started behaving incredibly weird after her obsession with jeff began (though she was always odd). just really creepy true crime fan behavior in school, acted completely rebelious and eventually cut a shallow smile into her cheeks. her parents were livid and sent her to her to live with her grandparents in Mississippi.

eventually she realized jeffs brother moved to alabama, a state away. she was 18, at the lowest point in her life, and there was now speculation that jeff died after his most recent murder in the arkensaw household in tuscaloosa, alabama.

SO SHE MOVED. stole a ton of money and jewlery and stuff from her grandparents, barely managed to secure a dingy apartment in tuscaloosa, and she went On The Hunt.

she's constantly spamming fangirl rhetoric on creepy forums and catches jeffs eye. dunno exactly how, but he ends up meeting up with her, where he realizes she was just. perfect ? like, he found her annoying from the getgo and knew she was a weirdo, but he knew how easy she'd perfect to manipulate, how much shit he could get from her, and she immediately was like 'COME HOME WITH ME ILL MAKE U DINNER' . so he does. theyre about 19-20 here.

okACTUAL RELATIONSHIP

they never actually date in the traditional sense. neither of them asked the other out, jeff doesnt even touch her if he doesn't have to. he does not love her. but nina truly, fully, completely believes they're together. she swaps between calling him her boyfriend and fiance. she tells all her coworkers about how 'oh my boyfriend finally proposed! im engaged guys!' and 'ohh we're thinking about kids..!! he said he wants a girl:)' and all of that. which its all lies, she just lies and lies and lies all the damn time about how great jeff treats her and how in love they are. she does it to all the other creeps too for a period of time, telling toby and nat about how kind jeff is to her and they know shes lying.

jeffs not really mean to her most of the time. she'll make him food, do his laundry, she's lied to the police for him, she's probably been an accessory to murder ... definitely actually since she's cleaning and bleaching his bloody clothes... so he's Nice (?)

by nice i mean like. he'll let her sit and rest her head on his shoulder, let her hold his hand, let her say she loves him. he'll joke with her sometimes, play video games with her, bring her on walks or whatever. wore a bracelet she made for him once. (emphasis on once). he tells her she's pretty if she asks

but again, he's using her - just for a place to stay, some extra money, and he'll even send her on runs to go get weed or something from dealers that give discounts to pretty girls. he won't hug her, won't buy her things, won't help clean up, etc.

NONE OF THIS IS SHIPPING OR ROMANTIC LIKE ITS ALL REALLY SAD AND HORRIBLE. most of the creeps are inherently violent, half are murderers, almost none have any emotional regulation . . theyre just very . yeah.

which is why eventually, he kinda like, loses his shit - he starts screaming about how she's a dumbass who threw her life away for him, how he doesnt give a shit about her, he's shoving chairs around, knocking things off tables. eventually he stabs her, once in the side of her stomach, and leaves.

nina knows jane from the other creeps and calls her as she's frantically trying to fix her own wound, and jane swiftly gets her. jane doesnt like her but jane has morals and knows jeffs mistreating nina - but ninas losing her shit when jane mentions a hospital and refuses to go to the ER, so she ends up in jack's cabin getting stitched up.

theyre all kinda shocked that jeff didnt just kill her. its real weird for him to stab her once and leave, but jeff knew how far ninas devotion went and completely expected her to grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness, and now he can continue using her just like before . but nina twisted it in her head and convinced herself 'oh its because he loves me! he didnt kill me because he loves me! BUT HE'S MAD AT ME AND I CAN'T FIND HIM AND WHAT IF HE'S WITH SOME OTHER GIRL I NEED TO FIX THIS' but literally nobody wants to help her 'get back' with him because like ...... why would they ?????

so she gets onto whitepages, finds liu, and ends up on his doorstep.

that's where my drawing of her crying on lius kitchen floor comes from

ive kinda hit a point in the story where like... this part is the 'current' plot ??? like this is where we are at in this very moment . so i have nothing concrete for the future...

but overall she does get over him, thats probably where ill put more emphasis on her friendship with nat/toby and her eventual little sister type relationship with liu... i just need to figure out how to do that without it coming off as like 'and she went to therapy and everything was fine !^_^'

i want jeff ... to be... vbery miserab;e....... basically.

[theshortolivia]

Get to Know me tag :)

Was tagged for a get to know me tag game by @deerlisteners and these are fun so thought I’d do it for the like two people who will see it, even though, they are both childhood friends and know all this…

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yeah! My moms named me after the character Olivia Benson from law and order because she was a ‘strong independent woman’ like they wanted me to be and they also both had a crush on her/the actress who plays her. Bonus fact I’m p sure if I’d been born male they woulda named me Josiah

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh, I got emotional and ALMOST cried at the ‘shoe scene’ (can’t be any more specific cause Huge spoilers) when rewatching Jojo Rabbit, I DID cry when I saw it in theatres and I HIGHLY recommend it as a comedy satire but also a harrowing reminder of history we should never forget (and for taika waititi of course). Um last time I actually cried I don’t remember cause recently my mental health has been depression apathy and not anxiety tears but it was Probably out of frustration at my chronic illness limiting what I can do, not a fun anecdote unfortunately but sometimes it be like that

3. Do you have kids?

I do not and I don’t plan on having any anytime soon for economic, chronic illness, and age reasons (I’m 22 lol I am Not settled in life I don’t even live alone). I would like to have kids when I’m older and more settled health and money wise, I love kids and feel I have so much love and care to give, i think I’d both enjoy and be a good mother. Also, I’d like to have them ‘traditionally’ because I’d like to experience pregnancy and I have some good genes lol. I think I’d like to have 3, partially because I do think I will love to raise and love children but also largely because I want my kids to have multiple siblings and to have a bigger (I know that’s not large in the grand scheme but for like, this day and age and economy and etc) family and for their kids to have multiple aunts/uncles. I love having a brother and wish I had more siblings, I wish I had a sibling closer in age that I could relate to, but I do still enjoy taking care of him and him being my baby brother. I also used to have 5 aunts and uncles (well 10 since they were all married ig) and many many cousins of all ages before we stopped talking to that side of my family, and I have two uncles (and my aunts their wives) and only see a few of my cousins due to where they live, and I am so glad I have family gatherings that big but I do miss the giant ones too, therefore I want for my kids what I have and love.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I am NOT a sports girlie. Up until I was 12 ish I was a very into ballet and modern dancing (would’ve continued but alas anxiety struck) and after that I did musical theatre which is its own style of dancing, incorporating all different types. I’d love to go back but since I stopped dancing due to a steady string of anxiety, anxiety medication side effects, foot problems, and then finally chronic fatigue syndrome, I’ve become out of shape, have really bad feet, and REALLY struggle to find time to take care of myself. I do want to start exercising again in ways that don’t require me to have functional feet like weight lifting, aerial dancing (those fabric strip things) etc. But I am Not good at sports nor do I like it, sorry. I remember basketball in elementary being the most frustrating and volleyball being,,,ok

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Hm in general i don’t think I do actually, I’m a pretty earnest and straightforward person myself and idk using sarcasm feels negative? For me? And I strive to be as positive to others as I can be. (Not that sarcasm is always mean I just feel like it don’t my Vibe ykwim) but I’m also somewhat socially and subtextually dense so I think it makes sense I don’t use something I may not be the best at understanding unless it’s obvious

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm, I think that varies a Lot, it’s probably usually either makeup, clothing, hairstyle, or tattoos if they stand out or if they’re something I’d want myself or am attracted too or like aesthetically. I always try to get up the courage to compliment people on things I notice because I feel good when I get complimented so I want other people to feel like that too :) also actually since I’m a cashier and people hand over cash and point cards often I usually notice nails. Oh I also notice extremes in height immediately, I’m short so people shorter than me are like woah! And people super duper tall are also like Woah!

7. What’s your eye colour?

Dark brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

TLDR happy endings, I’m a sucker for happily ever after to the point where if it didn’t end happily I’ll probably write or st least daydream a fan fiction ending where it does. ESPECIALLY romance it Always gets me. I do like scary movies though, especially psychological horror, although,,,In The Tall Grass FUCKED ME UP (the movie, I don’t read stephen king books cause his writing style makes me uncomfy but man does he have some fucked up terrifying horrible ideas for for him)

9. Any talents?

Ig that’s kinda complicated cause I’d probably call myself a jack of all trades (but master of none). I was one of those kids that was praised for being good at like everything the first time I tried it and now as an adult has to learn how to study and have a huge issue of getting frustrated and stopping anything I try that I’m not immediately good at therefore never being able to improve because I’m not practicing. But I’ve been Told by teachers, professors, and other people that I’m quite talented at singing. I starred in some musicals in elementary school and studied vocals in high school, in choirs the whole time too, so I’d say I’m like, sort of trained in musical theatre and opera and I Have worked to improve my voice. But I was also told that apparently when I was 3 ish I grabbed a mic and went on a stage (probably at play group or smth idk) and belted twinkle twinkle little star and parents laughed and said I’d be a star one day so idk maybe I just have that star quality lol. Oh I’ve also been commended for my acting skills back before I did acting? But I haven’t done much of late and wouldn’t consider myself exceptionally skilled, I want to be though! I uh also had a period in high school where I discovered I liked (and was good at) academics and excelled in science and math and focused Heavily on that, getting awards and whatnot. I’m not gifted but my mom and grandfather are (were, granddad is not alive) and I definitely did get their big brains.

Oh also I’m like a professional daydreamer at this point I write whole ass stories in my head most of which Never make it to the Google docs and I’m Amazingly talented at oversharing I’m sorry in advance tell me to stop talking I literally won’t mind I promise I ramble Too much

10. Where were you born?

Ontario, Canada

11. What are your hobbies?

Too many. I have this issue where I like too many things so I spread myself too thinly to commit to spending enough time practicing on any one thing to improve, and then on top of that have this thing where I can’t just do something for fun I have to be Good at it (which I think stems from being a Talented Kid™) BUT here’s a list here we go it’s long

Singing

Acting

Dancing

Cooking

Baking

Writing

Makeup

Learning languages (I’m shit at it tho)

Linguistics (how languages WORK is So Cool)

Driving

Drawing

Learning about cool science things namely psychology, genetic, otherwise biology, or nuclear related

I’m not good at this yet but I wanna get into mixology for fun and also as a job

Can’t sew v well yet but I think it would be So Fun and also good to know cause I have to hem every other pair of pants I get

12. Do you have any pets?

I live w my parents still n we have a dog who’s actually my brother’s service dog she’s a huge black lab named Marshmallow and she is full of so much love but not a lot of thoughts, and we recently got a tuxedo kitten i got to name Carmilla (Carmilla is the name of an 1872? gothic lesbian vampire novella that came out before dracula, see my kitten loved to hide n is super duper fast and also play bites, hence, vampire)

13. How tall are you?

5’1 or 152cm

14. Favourite subject in school?

Too many uhh in high school I rlly loved general biology, my vocal classes (which we learned solos in Italian, German, and musical theatre genres and etc it was amazing), my intro to sociology, psychology, and anthropology class, my human development throughout the lifespan class (I wrote a super cool paper on the theory of infantile synesthesia which tbh is probably the best paper I’ve ever written), and my drama classes. In uni so far I’ve enjoyed my year 1 biology class, Especially the second half cause it was like almost All genetics (soooo fascinating!!!), I Loved my Japanese class which was hard as hell but so fascinating and awesome (I love languages and how they work, and Japanese being so different from my native language of English was really interesting, I also really like Japanese food and culture and nature so learning the language was partially because I think it’s a wonderful language but partially so I can go to Japan at some point), my psych intro class was fascinating and I especially enjoyed the parts on sleep and consciousness and on sensory and perception, those parts of our brains are sooo cool I also really liked my Health Psychology (relating our body to our mind was eye opening and very interesting) class. All those classes had super interesting subject matter AND really amazing sweet and helpful professors. Oh my intro data science class was cool cause I got to do shit of coding which was fun and rewarding

15. Dream Job?

Ok so remember the ‘jack of all trades but master of none’ thing? Liking and being somewhat good at many different things is rlly not helpful for deciding on careers, the end of that phrase ‘but better than being a master of one’ I’d say isn’t true cause I do think being good at One thing has its pros and cons, a pro being it’s def easier to decide what to do. I’ve been told I could probably make it in the opera industry, and I would love to act and sing for a living, whether that’s theatre, film, or voice acting, preferably I’d love to do them all tbh. It feels narcissistic to admit but I do like the recognition for performing, I relish the applause I get during curtain calls or after a solo, I wouldn’t say I Live for the applause but I do like it, I think I’d like to be some level of famous. However I know that’s not easy to attain and I also would love to be a teaching and researching professor of psychology and genetics. I love presenting and teaching and am very good at it (my best marks are always on presentations lol) and I love researching concepts that are interesting to me, like for example if I had to write a thesis right now I’d probably write it about the possibility of finding the epigenetic patterns that cause hereditary depression, anxiety, etc, and use CRISPR gene editing technology to correct those thus ending the cycle of hereditary mental illness instead of putting the bandaid of a medication on it. Also I know that coding and computer science is lucrative right now and I did enjoy my taste of coding so I’d also love to look into that. I Do want to make a lot of money so I can afford to take care of those I love (and myself), be more sustainable, and enjoy some extra things in life like fancy and unique or uncommon to my culture food

No pressure but Also tagging @dragonheart1330 :)

I probably didn’t even say One thing @dragonheart1330 and @deerlisteners don’t already know lol as I said I am soooo talented at oversharing

[infinite-riches]

My Sweet Johnny Boy

Summary: “You’re gonna pull your hair out, mate,” The voice was soft, slightly deep, dripping in a thick Manchester accent.

“So? Everyone hates it anyways…”

Or: Johnny gets bullied and Simon fixes it (High School AU)

Pairing: John "Soap" MacTavish x Simon "Ghost" Riley

Word Count: 1131

Warnings: mentions of terminal illness, child abuse

A/N: This lovely one-shot was inspired by the ficlet 'What Makes Soap Soap' written by DovaBunny on Ao3!

Shout out to ebi_lal on Ao3 for beta reading this for me! <3

And as always feel free to leave feedback/constructive criticism <3

AO3 Link (if you prefer): My Sweet Johnny Boy

Trying to adjust to a new school in the middle of the year had been torture. Not to mention the heartbreak of having to leave Scotland behind. All his friends, four hours away. All because his family had to move to Manchester. 

His saving grace had been the phys ed class, being able to dump all his pent-up emotions into football, maybe even with a chance to get scouted for the county team. Football allowed him to tune it out. He could cast everything aside and have a moment of peace in his mind.

As always, the other boys had something smart to say to Johnny after class. Most of the time it was about his accent or his worn-out shoes (the MacTavish family not having enough money to splurge on a new pair when his still wore well). Today though… today was different.

It was relentless in the locker room, most of the other Year 12 boys chiming in with something or another about his hair. 

Though he maintained his composure for the most part he couldn’t deny just how deep it cut. His Ma had been diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago, chemo hitting her hard- she had just recently relented and shaved the rest of her hair off. When Johnny said he wanted to do the same, she helped. She made a game out of it, trying to see how many different funny hairstyles she could give her boy- just to see him laugh and smile. Then she gave him the mohawk and they both stopped.

“So handsome… my sweet Johnny boy with a mohawk!” A light laugh left her lips, a sound Johnny would never let himself forget. 

“Think I’m gonna keep it, Ma…” And he had, learned how to take care of it, always made time to see his Ma- let her trim it up for him, made her smile bright every time he visited her in hospital. 

The water poured over him till it ran cold and even then he didn’t make a move to leave. Instead, he sat on the cold tile, knees to his chest as he ran his hands through his hair over and over again, anxiously tugging at the short strands.

The door to the locker room opened and closed, footsteps milling about accompanied by the sound of someone rummaging through their locker. 

Johnny couldn’t be bothered to move, too lost in his own thoughts.

“You’re gonna pull your hair out, mate,” The voice was soft, slightly deep, dripping in a thick Manchester accent.

“So? Everyone hates it anyways…” Johnny bit back another wave of tears, trying to hold himself together.

“I don’t hate it…” The voice is softer now, kind words prompting Johnny to look up, greeted by a stunning set of honey eyes. “I actually think it's pretty fucking dope…”

Simon kneeled before him, a hand outstretched towards the kneeling Scot, the other holding a towel. There was a black medical mask over his face, just like always. The year 13 student had been a bit of an enigma to Johnny. Most of the students called him Ghost, something about how quiet he could be, creeping up on everyone. Simon fit him better in Johnny’s mind– warm, honey eyes, soft blonde hair, the faintest hint of curl to the strands, always slightly tousled, the boy couldn’t possibly be a ghost– maybe an angel instead. 

“You dinnae have to lie-”

“I’m not lying to you…” Simon’s voice faded off, pushing his outstretched hand towards Johnny.

“You must want something then, eh?” Johnny kept himself small, trying to figure out what game– if any– Simon was playing. “Wanna take the piss like the rest of ‘em?”

An abrupt laugh left Simon’s lips. “Be like them? You wound me Scotsman. C’mon mate, get out of the shower, you’re gonna freeze your balls off.” This time Simon stepped over the tile lip, grabbing Johnny and helping him to his feet, gladly handing over the towel if it meant the poor kid would stop shivering. 

Johnny couldn’t shrug off the kindness anymore, caving to the soft hand and gentle eyes before him. After a few minutes, his limbs didn’t feel nearly as numb anymore and he managed to change into his clothes.

“So what’s the deal, with your hair?” Simon was sitting on the opposite end of the bench, fiddling with the straps of his backpack as he listened.

“It’s for my Ma… she’s got cancer… she thought it looked good on me so I’ve kept it… she helps me trim it up every few weeks… even when she’s in hospital…” tears threatened to spill again, desperately clinging to Johnny’s waterline. 

“Fuck mate…” Simon was by his side in a flash. “I’m so sorry man…”

“No need… it’s been this way for a while, dinnae know when she’ll get better…” Johnny’s voice tapered off, lost in thought again.

“I’m sure she’ll get better soon…” Simon paused for a moment, letting the silence hang in the air. “Listen… I’ve seen you around, you’re good at that shit you do in your sketchbook and even better out on the pitch… if those fucks bother you again come find me, yeah?”

“You don’t ha-”

“None of that, I’ll see you around Johnny…” In a flash Simon was gone, living up to his nickname and leaving Johnny reeling. 

The next day Johnny was sitting on one of the benches out front sketching, waiting for school to start when everyone started to speak in hushed tones. His eyes flicked up, pencil dropping on the page as he met Simon’s eyes. His blonde locks were almost completely gone, trimmed into a neat mohawk that closely mirrored Johnny’s save for the slight curl to the strands.

Simon caught his gaze, softly nodding his chin towards the Scot, eyes crinkling as if he was smiling beneath the mask. Simon, being a year 13 had sent a clear message to the rest of the school, leave Johnny alone. 

From then on, Simon was practically Johnny’s shadow. No one gave him shit about his hair or his accent or his shoes anymore. 

Simon watched over Johnny and Johnny brought some much-needed softness into Simon’s life, eventually coaxing the Brit into taking the mask off when they were alone. Broke Johnny’s heart when he saw the scar– Simon’s dad had thrown a bottle at him, leaving behind a deep gash on his cheek– the reason for the mask. 

The boys were inseparable. Over time the distance between them lessened, from opposite ends of the bench to being pressed together, Simon’s lips leaving a soft kiss on Johnny’s.

And Simon was there three weeks later, mohawk freshly trimmed, for Mrs. MacTavish’s funeral, holding Johnny’s hand tight and doing his best to stay strong for his boy. 

[dr-spectre]

May I just say that I'm really impressed with the Nintendo Switch, especially after the direct.

Most Nintendo consoles after their halfway point really slow down and pretty much suffer a slow death, they don't get any big games and Nintendo fans just wait in agony for the next Nintendo console.

The Wii barely got anything in its later years aside from Kirby's Return to Dreamland and like... Mario and Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games (which is actually a pretty fun minigame collection I recommend it.)

The Wii U..... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I mean there was Breath of the Wild but like... who played it on Wii U? Be honest with me here guys. Don't lie.

The Gamecube... nothing. N64... uh... Dr. Mario?

But with the Switch, we're getting a brand new Mario and Luigi title, a new Mario Party with over 110 minigames and a 20 player online mode, a brand new top-down Zelda game with Zelda as the main character, and Metroid Prime 4!!! LIKE... WHAT?!?!

If the Switch can somehow outsell the DS, then I wouldn't be that shocked. Nintendo, despite having one of the most EVIL legal teams in gaming and being an awful fucking company, they still manage to get exclusives and exciting titles out on a consistent basis. Sure there are some sour spots like the Mario sports games and... Nintendo Switch Sports.. ugh. And sure there are lots of overpriced remasters ill give you that but, the quality and consistency of these titles is something that Sony and Microsoft can't even come close to.

I'm not trying to jerk off Nintendo and turn this into a console war thing but, Sony have really dropped the ball on their management and it has gone to shit. Only pumping out hyper realistic giant 30+ hour games that take so much time and money to make. While I do like most of them, I want there to be more variety and more titles. There's a reason why "PS5 has no games" is a meme. And the pc ports of PS5 games after a couple of years of their release are getting really annoying. Once Spider-Man 2 gets on the PC, I won't ever touch my PS5 ever again aside from Astro Bot coming later this year. Im not saying that these games shouldn't be on pc, I'm saying that it's kinda damaging the dedicated fan base of Sony players and they're gonna start moving over to the PC and not want to use their PS5 anymore. The PS5 will not have a legacy like its older brothers. As a person who grew up with a PS2 and PS3, I'm really disappointed with Sony at the moment.

And Microsoft? Well... we'll have to wait and see the quality of those games they announced recently. But you know what? They did have a good showcase, I will admit.

I'm starting to really come around on the Switch and there are SO MANY games to get for it. There's at least one title for everyone and I think that's really cool. It also has so many indie games and retro collections on it too. The Switch has a giant library of old classics from many generations as well as exciting new games that bring new concepts to the table.

If the Switch 2 can continue that momentum while increasing the fidelity to allow for more games to reach 60fps and higher resolutions... then we're in for something really special.

[thedisablednaturalist]

My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.

Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.

My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).

Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.

The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.

Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.

I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.

And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.

Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.

Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.

I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).

Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.

Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.

[eyelessfaces]

blood and wine

jake lockley x reader

summary: when jake comes home covered in blood, your only reflex is to run away. he explains the whole situation around some wine. (this summary sucks ill redo it later babes. i promise the fic is good trust me on this one)

warnings: mentions of blood and murder. description of one murder. one really small sexual innuendo. angst :)

tags: f!reader, marc and steven make appearances, jake is being a mysterious little shit. takes place after the events of the series

word count: 2k

reblogs and feedback are appreciated!!

When you started dating Jake, you knew it wouldn't be as easy as dating Steven or Marc. You knew Jake was a secret guy, you knew he had some shenanigans going on, things he didn't talk about and things he didn't want to talk about. You knew there was a shadowy side to him. He would shake it off every time you tried to make your way into this kind of conversations, and you never tried to dig more, scared he would think you were being too sneaky. And you didn't want to throw out what you had so recently built together as you and Jake was a relatively fresh thing, compared to Steven and Marc.

When he wasn't home for a good part of the night, you thought he was certainly playing poker or making bets, some things like that, involving money and games. Nothing too serious. Of course it bothered you that he wouldn't tell you about it, but if it was just that, it was okay. As long as it didn't become too intense.

The thought that he might be cheating on you crossed your mind a few times. It made sense; the long absences, him coming home so late - despite telling you of his night cab shifts; he worked way too much for it to be true sometimes - and the fact that he wouldn't tell you what he's doing and where he's doing it. But when he held you so gently, kissed you so roughly and made love to you so passionately, you just wondered what he would do with someone else. And why he would play on several tables when he seemed to love you so much when he was home.

So what was your surprise when one night at two in the morning, when you were unable to sleep because of your aching period that made it seem like your ovaries were falling apart, Jake walked into the flat covered in blood - the irony. You wished you had seen your own face from an outside perspective.

You first thought it was just a dream. You thought you had fallen asleep watching Carrie - the irony, once again - and it was just a funny dream that would make you feel silly once you woke up. But you understood way too fast that it was nothing but reality when you saw Jake's face decompose at the sight of you still awake and here in front of him. You were petrified, unable to move or to talk. So many thoughts and questions were buzzing across your current fragile mind.

When your body finally allowed you to move, you immediately packed as fast as you could, ran out of the flat and escaped the building. You were in a state of shock, and it seemed like the best thing to do at the moment. You probably looked like a drunk, running like a maniac in the streets of London, but you were truly disoriented and confused. Your first reflex was to run your best friend's, who used to be your roommate, and thankfully you still had the key. You were embarrassed she had to find you sleeping on the couch the next morning but hey, it was a state of emergency. Even though you had to lie to her, telling her you just had an argument with your boyfriend and didn't know where to stay after that, she understood that perfectly. You doubted she would have had the same reaction if you had told her what really happened. And you wondered who could have a serene reaction to that.

Seeing the boys after that incident hadn't been the easiest thing for you.

Steven had handled the situation perfectly; he had figured out where you were and brought you flowers and cookies. At first, seeing his face had almost made you have the start of a panic attack. But when you saw his gentle features and heard his soft voice trying to cheer you up, you remembered you were safe with him.

Marc had begged you to come back to the flat. You just refused, asking him to explain what happened the other day. He couldn't tell you much about it; he had explained you that the barrier between him and Jake was sturdy, he couldn't reach him as easily as he could reach Steven, and the both of them couldn't always remember what happened when Jake fronted. He ended the conversation by taking your hand, gently stroking it and telling you that if someone had to explain the situation, it had to be Jake.

Alas, you didn't feel ready to see Jake so soon after what happened.

After a few days of staying at your friends', you slowly considered coming back to the flat. It was unfair for Steven and Marc to have you giving up on them when they truly hadn't done anything wrong for it to happen, and you'd have to talk to Jake again, one day or another, one way or another.

And just when you considered starting to gather your things to leave your friend's place, you received a text from the boys.

'please meet me at the steakhouse at 8. I'll explain everything. -j'

So you went there.

Your heart flinched when you saw Jake sitting there at the table, wearing his signature expression. You didn't know if he had done it on purpose, but he was dressed the exact same way as when you and Steven had your first date. It comforted you a bit.

You sat down in front of him, and finally dared to look into his eyes. His dark orbs pierced right through your soul, and he sent you an awkward smile, feeling too guilty to put on a full, sincere smile. Like he was unworthy.

He would usually take your hand in his to explain everything but he knew he wasn't welcomed. Not right now.

"Listen-" he started but you immediately cut him off.

"Will you tell me what the fuck happened the other day? I don't give a shit about steaks." you blurted out crossing your arms.

"Hello to you too" he chuckled dryly, quirking his eyebrows before pouring some wine into your glass. His glass contained a small amount of the liquid, of course he had started drinking before you arrived. You weren't surprised. You quietly thanked him, grabbed the glass and finished it in one go. You put it down on the table and he raised his eyebrows before filling it again. "You have every reason to be mad at me cariño" he said giving himself a refill as well. "But I'm gonna need you to listen to me okay?" he asked looking right at you, an eyebrow raised.

You looked at the people around, seeing everyone enjoy their date or their family. You looked back at Jake, an annoyed look on your face. You wondered what he could say to justify himself. You were scared of him right now, but you repressed the feeling with insolence and viciousness. You hoped it could protect you from him. "I'm listening." you said just loud enough for him to hear.

You hated how the man in front of you was the same man that came back drenched in blood the other night. He looked so collected and calm right now. As if it was a normal date. It was almost frightening.

"I know you're probably scared right now. You have every reason to be" he said before taking a sip of his wine. He put the glass down on the table and nibbled on his lower lip before talking again. "I picked a public place so you would feel safer than if it was just me and you alone."

You chuckled under your breath, looking away from him in disbelief when in truth, you appreciated the intention. "Well thank you" you replied with sarcasm filling your voice.

He blinked slowly at your sarcasm, accepting that he earned it. "There's an explanation to all of this." he said slightly nodding. "Puta madre, they're gonna hate me for this" he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his dark combed hair. You frowned at his words, not sure of what he meant. "I took over it. The deal with Khonshu." he continued, looking right into your eyes, his elbows on the table, hands joined.

You frowned at what he just admitted. You thought they were long done with Khonshu.

Jake winced, tilting his head to the side. He whispered a series of cuss words in his native spanish as an incessant buzzing of his two alters shouting at him obstructed his thoughts.

He hit the table to shake it off, getting reactions from the people around. He threw them a dirty, intimidating look and glanced back at you, his tense and grumpy figure relaxing a little.

"Sorry for that. It's just that they-" he shook his hands around his head. "They didn't know."

You nodded lightly, biting your lip in confusion.

"Didn't Khonshu- didn't he say he would leave you alone?" you asked cocking your head to the side.

"Them. Both of them." he said nodding, slightly clearing his throat before drinking.

"Wow" you said huffing out a laugh, astonished that the bird found a way to manipulate them again.

"I think I'm handling it better than they did." he said putting his glass on the table. "I mean, I don't feel trapped." he corrected with a nod, realizing how condescending it sounded.

"So it doesn't bother you?" you asked frowning, a shiver running through your spine.

"That's not what I said" he said under his breath, avoiding your gaze. "I do what Marc and Steven used to do. I just do it more easily."

"So you enjoy it." you affirmed, your voice dropping.

He looked down at the table, and looked around him.

"I don't wanna lie to you princesa. When they truly deserve it, yes." he confirmed looking at you. "Listen. What you saw the other day, it was unusual." he leaned in over the table, getting closer to you. "The mission had turned out pretty bad and the guy was wrestling. It was so messy, Khonshu ordered me to stab him in the jugular. It seemed like a good idea until his blood spilled everywhere. I usually do it properly. The other night was an exception and you happened to be here. It was just an incident. I'm sorry that you had to see that." he whispered putting his hand over yours. "I'm so sorry mi corazón."

You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. You slowly nodded.

"If you kill people carelessly I don't even want to know what you could do to me if we ever argue that bad." you whispered, looking deep into his dark brown eyes. They were filled with guilt, and he closed them before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I would never touch you like that, querida. Nunca." he said shaking his head, shaking off the thought.

You wanted to blame him, you wanted to be mad at him. But he looked so sincere, and so guilty.

You nodded slowly, bitting your lower lip. His hand was still over yours, and you covered it with your other hand, gently brushing his with your thumb. He looked back at you, brought back by the feeling of your touch. He licked his lips in reflexion before talking again.

"You know, Marc and Steven warned me before we started dating. I swore I would never hurt you. I'm sorry I did" he said weakly smiling at you.

"Jake I- That's okay. It was just an incident. If I could accept Marc and Steven serving Khonshu I can accept you too." you said nodding, finally letting down your guard.

And he smiled at you. The pure, honest and sincere smile he wanted you to see since you entered that restaurant.

"Bueno. Good. That's good. Let's leave this place. Wine's not even that good" he said grimacing, making you laugh.

"We have some at the flat, right?" you asked as you got up, pushing your chair.

"We do" he said as he smiled, taking your hand in his, holding it tightly.

It was just an incident.

---

reblogs and feedback are appreciated!!

[pommunist]

In relation to the "Quackity was losing money from the qsmp!!!" point that people bring up in defence of him, like... tbh in my opinion quackity probably could have made quite a bit of money in subs and donos if he ever actually... streamed on his server.....

Via twitchtracker from march 2023 to march 2024 (this is the timeline i use for all numbers/averages in this unless otherwise stated, also i use 1 year for emphasis sometimes even when meaning 13 months, start of march last year to end of march this year) The highest amount of subs quackity (on his main channel, quackitytoo's subs stats arent available) has received within a month (ie. subcount at end of month) is 2.7k in august 2023, with quite a few months dipping below 1k, and the lowest being just over 500 in july 2023 (Though he also only streamed once in the entire month, so this is understandable), coming to an average of 1.6k subs/month. While his average viewer count across those 13 months was about 35.1K, with a high of just under 65k average in august 2023, and a low of 22k average in january. (This is across all categories of game/just chatting)

Only 48 of quackity's main channel streams (67 total if im not miscounting) in that time were under the category minecraft (71%), with over half of them being in the first 4 months of qsmp (really mostly the first 3 months because it started in late march). With only 13 streams in the category in the latter half of 2023, and 8 in 2024.

To compare, ill use badboyhalo as an example: (Im using him because the vast majority of his streams were qsmp until recently, and i didnt want someone to try and say "but they stream other things!" to discredit this (even though so does quackity), and of the other streamers who have been on the qsmp since the start either a) They "stream other stuff" (ie. not qsmp, including other minecraft like phil's hardcore) often so it "wouldnt count", b) Their subs arent tracked on twitchtracker (its opt-in), or c) They stopped playing on the server/very very rarely play on the server so i cant accurately compare the full timeline. I could have probably also used foolish but bbh came to mind first (And his sub stats weirdly stop tracking in october 2023? I assume because that's when he changed his twitch channel name?))

Bbh's highest number of subs in a month was may 2023 with 4k, with his lowest being just under 400 in march 2023 (only 4 streams that month, so again this is understandable), across march'23-march'24, he got an average of 1.8k subs/month. To compare viewers, bbh's average viewcount across those 13 months was 3.7k (nearly 10 times lower than quackity), with his lowest being 1.7k average viewers in march 2024, and highest being 6k average viewers in september 2023. (again across all categories)

(Im not counting by hand all the times he's streamed in the category minecraft, but seeing as its nearly daily its over 300)

Of course, you could use the argument "Bbh streams every day for so long!", and like... Yeah. He does. In the past 13 months bbh has streamed for 2.1k hours. Quackity has streamed 106. One hundred and six hours. Quackity has streamed on his main channel less in a year than bbh streams in one month (avg 163 hours/month if anyone's wondering). And yet their average subs/month are only about 200 apart. No wonder hes apparently too broke to pay his employees fairly.

At time of sending this ask quackity has 6.3 million followers on twitch, bbh has 2.6 million. They have a drastic difference in followers and viewcount, and yet their subcounts are still so shockingly close to eachother.

If quackity needed money to pay for server costs or to pay his employees that badly he definitely could have made more by doing his job streaming more consistently. He doesn't even need to do it as much or as often as bbh does, seeing as hes already very close to bbh in average subs/month on his main channel with his incredibly low number of streams.

And again none of this factors in quackity's streams on his second channel, where he streams more often and for longer, because twitchtracker doesnt track that channel's subcount (again, it's opt-in) so i cant factor that in to how much he hypothetically makes. But as for the other stats on quackitytoo: 35.7k avg viewers, 168 total hours streamed (13 hrs/month), 65 streams in the category minecraft (march 23rd-now, though i might be off by a couple, my brain is fried for numbers at this point), and 4.6 million followers. Based on this, he most likely has a similar or higher amount of subs than his main channel on that one.

And this entire thing doesn't factor in donations at all seeing as that is a 3rd party thing and not something twitchtracker tracks.

Sidenote about the "in the category minecraft" thing: twitchtracker will include a stream in the category stats even if you forgot to change categories before starting stream playing/doing something else. So there are some "minecraft" streams where the time spent in the category is under 15 minutes, or if a stream crashes and restarts it will count as a separate stream. I still tried to count these to give the most benefit of the doubt

(In case anyone is curious about the foolish stats: (again across all categories, seeing as he does play quite a bit of valorant), viewers avg 6.7k/month, total hours streamed 2.4k, avg 190 hrs/month, subs avg (march-october 2023 because of the lack of tracking afterwards) 6.7k/month, ~250 streams in the category minecraft, and 2.1mil followers. Also, before anyone complains about only using english streamers to compare, the only spanish speaking streamer whos been on qsmp from the start and still logged on consistently through the entire year is roier, and his subs also arent tracked. And none of the other languages were there from the very start.)

Sorry about how long this ask got (i bolded the numbers to make skimming easier for anyone who's not reading all that). I just got so curious about people defending Q by saying how the server running costs meant paying his employees fairly was too expensive that i went to check the actual stats, and i was kinda shocked by how low everything but viewcount was. Of course, I never believed quackity was a "millionare" by any standard, but im also not a viewer of his so i didn't know how much/how often (how little/how rarely*) he actually streamed.

And as a final thing, I have no idea how truly accurate twitchtracker's subcount numbers are (and the wording is a bit confusing on the graphs, which is what i interpreted as "# subs at end of month/subs gained within month" seeing as subs last 30 days (i think?)), as I'm not a streamer and I don't personally subscribe to any streamers. I just know that streamers themselves see it as accurate enough for the "highest current/all-time subcount" records. So i guess that's to say disclaimer: this is all just estimates.

WHAT THE HELL ANON ? Ever thought of having a career in financial/statistical analysis because if not maybe you should consider.

I’ll admit that I don’t know anything about how exactly twitch revenue works so I can’t really make comments on what you just said, but I’ll leave it here for anyone who may be interested in the numbers side of things and this seems like quite the thorough investigation.

I just wanna add that, depending of the societal form of the company, Individual fund may be separated from company funds. Aka Quackity’s money ≠ Qstudios money.

[eveninglottie]

state of the charlie 2024

hello babes I know I've been quiet on here for a while, so I figured I would update y'all on some things I'm doing soon because while normally it would be bad if I were quiet, it's actually quite good! I've been having like, a weirdly great start to my year, and while I have been hibernating for the past two months I am gearing up to overextend myself soon getting back to work and I am gonna do the excruciating thing and tell you what I'm doing in the hope that you might support me (this is just the update. the begging will come later.) so, what am I doing?

first, I am going to be posting my book, wilderblood, here on tumblr! I realize that's kind of weird and silly but I feel very connected to tumblr and I am scared of trying to self-publish it right away. I also don't have the money to commission a good cover (that's part of the later begging) and I refuse to put a naked man and a moon on a generic night sky background on my cover. no shade to the people making bank with those covers but I just can't.

I will be posting it on a separate blog dedicated to the book (reblogging here, of course), so if you're interested in keeping up to date with it, you can follow me over there at wilderwolves. obviously there's nothing on there yet, but I'm going to be posting the first chapter in the next few days. I will also be restarting my patreon to hopefully make some money which would allow me to commission a gorgeous cover. also, for like. money in general. because capitalism has forced me to monetize my hobbies. patreon will get early access and bonus stuff, but the book will be free to read.

speaking of, I am also going to start making candles! super random, I know, but it's something I've always wanted to do and writing this book made me want to find something else that isn't writing that could allow me to do something fun with my hands that isn't playing final fantasy fourteen. it's called Wilder Candle and I'm gonna be putting it up on etsy so if anyone wants some candles for sad girls (gender neutral) that are darker and less cheerful than other candles, that's something I am also doing. yes the candle company has the same name as the book series. yes I will eventually be making self-indulgent candles of the characters of my book. no I will not be taking any criticisms at this time.

in other, non-money things, I have recently gotten back into dming and am currently running an End of Camelot king arthur campaign that has so far been WILD and everything I could have hoped for. my players are level 20+ and the game is broken and it's great. my friends are such freaks, I love them. I am also currently ill with what is probably the flu (but not covid, thank christ) and feel like my head is going to explode, but I managed to get out of my bed today so everything's coming up charlie over here. my cats are flourishing and they're beginning to tolerate me trying to pick them up, so really 2024 is starting pretty swell.

I hope your new years are not too stressful, and I'm really excited to show you what I've been working on. <3

[zairas-realm-gateway]

OFF ramblings: Batter's Purpose

Content warnings for discussion of canon and speculated canon content: violence, medical trauma, abuse, child neglect, terminal illness, child death.

This post is a basic layout of the general conversations I had with my sister when I showed her the game OFF recently. These are just our speculations, observations, and headcanons.

This post will discuss our deductions behind Batter's in game creation and his opposition to the other characters.

As we all know, Batter (in universe) is created at the start of the game. He has never before existed in the lonely, tormented world of the Zones before. My sister and I discussed why he never existed in the world before that point. We think we have deduced why from the information given in The Room level.

First, we have to note the importance of Batter, Hugo, and Queen. Hugo has manifested representations of his parents in his fucked up world. His father is Batter and his mother is Queen.

Now, my mother is chronically ill, so I've spent a lot of time in hospitals. So, when Batter enters a new location at the end of the hallway when you enter the Room level, my sister and i immediately recognized it as a hospital. It reminded us of many we've been in before and left us uneasy.

In the Room, Batter goes to the small room on the left. This room is returned to many times. It paints a painfully vivid picture:

There is a sick child (Hugo) in the hospital. Probably between the age of 10-17 because they can talk in complete sentences but are still referred to as "the boy". This child is terminally ill and immuno-compromised. You can tell when the note says that his father (Batter's human counterpart) says they can go outside tomorrow but that trip outside never comes. The notes say that his father comes regularly to play with him but he doesn't like his father and wants his mother instead but she never comes to pick him up or visit.

This tells me a lot. It says that Hugo's father (we'll keep calling him Batter) is cold but holds deep affection for Hugo. Based on Spectral Batter's personality, Human Batter probably has difficulty with emoting. Meaning he has trouble displaying and expressing emotion both physically and vocally. To a sick and distressed child, this would appear as if his father doesn't love him despite Batter visiting constantly and playing with Hugo.

This could explain why he wants his mother over his father. Affection and emotional support are needed for comfort when sick. It seems like Queen can probably express emotions in a way that would be comforting.

Or, she would, if she ever showed up.

It's speculated that Human Queen has a job that makes her a lot of money but forces her to work/travel a lot. Spectral Queen's later argument with Batter makes it clear that's she's pretty much phoning it in as a mom. The cadence of Queen and Batter's conversation is that of a divorced couple. If this is true, it sounds like Queen has primary custody but just is never around.

Batter is his most emotional during his argument with Queen right before their battle. He is still flat in dialogue tone but it is clear he is passionate about the subject. He accuses her of taking all the steps of being a mother with none of the emotion, care, or memory for who her actions are for (Hugo). Rather than defend herself, Queen just deflects until Batter gets angry.

To argue the point of Queen doing the right moves with none of the personal touch, I want to talk about the three guardians. It is said the Queen appointed them and I think this really happened.

My sister and I speculate that the three guardians represent the specialists that Queen hired for Hugo while she was away on business. Dedan is speculated to be a surgeon based on his temper and excessive need for total order and demand everyone be efficient at their job. Japhet being a bird, dove, and loving books is probably a priest. Enoch would be a private chef. These three were left with explicit orders to keep an eye on Hugo, which is why they're called his friends in the notes. This would also make them opposing forces to Hugo's father and the hard decisions he has to make. One of those decisions is massive and we believe it is what manifests Batter for the first time.

It's the decision to unplug his terminally ill child from life support.

Now, I see a lot of speculation that Hugo bases Batter on Ballman. But I think that Batter is a dual manifestation of Ballman and Boxxer. This would make Batter both the hero and the villain, hence the choice at the end of the game.

This is what brings Judge into the mix. We speculate that Judge is Human Hugo's high consciousness, the one aware of the pain and suffering of the world. Judge thought Batter was a savior but after Hugo's death, he calls Batter a monster. If Batter is both hero and villain, it makes sense that Judge trusted him to help but was unaware this is the action that would taken. He had no clue that this was the only solution that Batter could see.

If Judge is Hugo and Batter is Hugo's father, then the truth that his father is taking him off life support would paint his father as a monster. A villain that is murdering him.

Meanwhile, Hugo's father had to live with that truth and the reality that it is his duty to keep his child from suffering. And the end stages of terminal illnesses are only suffering.

I feel this is why Hugo takes the form of an infant. Because a child, no matter how old, is always their parent's baby...

[wilcze-kudly]

Thank you @nova-leaf for this tag too 🥰

wow i get to talk about myself so much im nervous

•How many tumblr accounts have you had before this one?

This is gonna be my fith tumblr account lol. I lose track of them really easily because I'm a silly funky guy with so much wrong with me.

• How long have you been in fandom?

Oh like. Since I was 10? God I remember my firat forays into fandom culture on amino it was an experience good god. My first fandom was Tolkien. I've only recently gotten into the Avatar fandom though. Still not sure how that happened but I'm having fun 🥰

•Your favorite trope in fiction?

I adore found family, cause I'm basic lol. The power of friendship is also a cheesy beloved of mine.

•Your favorite random fact?

Tolkien had beef with the Beatles. Hayao Miyazaki hates the Beatles. Junji Ito loves the Beatles.

•Your favourite game or kind of game?

Skyrim is my favourite game. Open world RPGs are my escape. I love them so much I try not to play them too often or I'll never get up lol.

•A place you’d like to visit? (If carbon emissions, logistics and money weren’t in question)

Hm. This is a tough one. I like to travel and I want to go to many places. But if I had to pick one point off that list, it would pribably be mount Shasta. I'm just curious, I guess, with all the legends and disappearances and odd happenings around it. Like I just wanna see the place not even have anything supernatural happen. Just be there for a bit? Call it morbid curiosity. Also the area seems beautiful even of itself like even if the aliens don't get me i think it'd be a nice hike.

•An animal you’re irrationally afraid of?

Ants. I like most bugs. I like spiders. But ants? Ants give me straight up panic attacks? I don't know why. There's just something very terrifying aout them.

Also. Swans. But that's not an irrational fear. Geese and swans are in my opinion the true successors of dinosaurs. If you haven't been a girl scout cowering in a flimsy tent with your three other girl scout friends, in the middle of a thunderstorm, while a pair of feral swans is trying to peck their way into your tent you do not know true fear.

Their pecks hurt like a bitch too. Their beaks are serrated like a fucking saw.

•What’s your favourite season?

Autumn. In Poland we divide Autumn into two mini seasons. Golden Autumn, which is early autumn, when the freshly fallen leaves are all crispy and beautiful. And then we have Rainy Autumn, which is when it has rained and gotten much colder. I love both.

•A smell that brings you nice memories?

Tea. I started drinking tea when I was very young. My dad is an Englishman and the moment i stopped drinking breastmilk i was immediately given tea with milk.

I think I associate tea very strongly with my family and feeling loved by them. When I was younger, my parents would often wake up before me, so they would often make me tea and wake me up with it.

Making tea for someone is still a huge gesture of affection to me and there's nothing quite like the smell of a nice hot cup of tea.

(If you’re ok talking about food. If not, delete this part)

•What’s your favorite food from where you were born? And what’s your favorite food from some place else?

My favourite food from Poland, huh? I love a lot of Polish foods, but I if I had to pick something it'd probably be krówki [which translates to 'little cows']. They're fudgelike candies, similair to Scottish Tablets and White Rabbit Creamy Candy. They're delicious.

For food from a different country? @nova-leaf has put the idea of Shortbread into my head now so that's all ill be thinking about I have to see if I have the stuff to make some at home or I'll go insane.

•What’s your favorite drink (if you drink alcohol, alcoholic and non-alcoholic)?

Alcoholic: Salty Caramel flavoured Krupnik. It is very difficult to explain what a Krupnik is? Its kind of like a liqueur.

Non Alcoholic: Orange Juice. It used to be diet coke but my addiction got so bad i had to quit cold turkey lest I completely wreck my health.

•Do you give your pets random table scraps?

Not random table scraps, but if I have any extra of whatever I'm cooking, and if they can eat it, I'll sometimes give them some as a snack or as an incentive while training them.

Thanks for the tag honey!

Tagging: @linnorabeifong @thatoneguy56fanfic @novaae @thenamescaba

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 2: Tick, Tick….People are disappearing. Meanwhile Katsu & Mitsuhide’s second meeting goes about as well as their first..

Mitsuhide x OC; Hideyoshi x MC (Mai)

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

Six weeks later…

Aki was late.

Not the normal lateness common to people living in an era that didn’t have clocks – that I was used to. No, he was over a week late to meet me in Niigata. For the past nine days, I had been holed up in an inn, basically counting the lines on the floor (twenty-four), playing both sides of a game of shogi (to a draw), and teaching myself to juggle. The fact that I could now easily manipulate five makeshift ‘bean’ bags (wood shavings and gravel sewn up in fabric) said everything about my boredom. Aside from one kunoichi who stopped in to wait out a rainstorm, there had been nobody interesting to talk to (granted, she had been really interesting).

While I would have said that Aki could survive anything and everything that life threw at him – nine days late was an ominous sign. Sure, he’d always been prone to disappearing for long periods of time. He’d also had a knack for reappearing on the exact day he’d promised.

Something’s wrong.

It was possible that he would eventually show up at the inn, but I couldn’t continue to hole up indefinitely – for one thing, inns cost money. I had paid for the 10-day “week” in advance – did I really want to commit to another week of this?

I need to be looking for him.

If Aki had been around to ask for advice, he probably would have suggested I return home, to the The Mountain, and wait for further communication. But that would just guarantee that Fume would put me to work scrubbing floors for the rest of the year. Hm…. I could continue south, and go to Azuchi. Aki maintained a bookstore there, but that was a front. In truth, it was a message drop for his couriers and spies. If anyone had seen him recently, then Takauji, who was currently manning the store, would know of it. And, if not… well, I could at least leave him a ‘where the hell are you?’ message while I figured out my next move.

Once decided, I wasted no more time and headed out into a cool late summer morning. The air had a bite to it, and the breeze carried the smell of harvest fruits. If I hadn’t been so preoccupied with wondering what happened to Aki, I might have enjoyed the journey to Azuchi. But happy as I was to be on the move, my mind was consumed with images of all the disasters that could have befallen him. Maybe he’d gotten caught up in a petty squabble between neighboring daimyos. Maybe he’d been injured or taken suddenly ill somewhere.

Maybe he simply got tired of you and never planned to return.

Ugh! Mental doomscrolling wouldn’t do me any good. Ok. Positive thinking. Instead of worrying why he was lost, figure out how to ensure he was found. Though Aki’s system of couriers and spies wasn’t nearly as vast a network as some others, like the Takeda mitsumono, there were still a lot of us. If we all worked together, we’d run him to ground… somewhere.

By the time I arrived at the bookseller’s in Azuchi, I had nearly convinced myself that finding Aki would simply be a matter of legwork. I could do that. I’d been criss-crossing the country on my own for years now. I had contacts in every city. I could do this… I could d--

“Thank the Gods you’re here.” Takaugi greeted me, not with his customary vague hello-and-can-you-take-over-so-I-can-go-piss, but a frantic announcement. “Francisco sent a message that Aki is missing, and I don’t know what to do.”

There is a reason why Takauji is often the one getting stuck in the old man disguise here. He has no initiative.

I dumped my pack on the floor behind the low counter. “Has anyone else heard from him?”

He shrugged. “You’re the first courier to come through since I received that message.”

Like I said. No initiative.

I put my hand out and after a momentary pause, Taka realized what I wanted and plopped Francisco’s note in it. I scanned it quickly, then slowly, but Taka had indeed given me all the available information. It simply said that Aki had missed a scheduled meeting and Francisco was concerned. But then he had likely needed to pay someone to write it for him, as he barely could speak Japanese. Writing it was far beyond his abilities.

Shit… if Francisco was worried too, something had to be terribly wrong. But… I couldn’t freak out in front of Takauji. Someone needed to take control of the situation, and I appeared to be the only candidate at hand. Taka wouldn’t listen if he saw me panic.

“Alright. Let’s first send out messages to all his couriers – we’ll have them search the corners of the country.” Which had basically been my plan anyway.

Taka simply gaped at me (literally, unhinged jaw). “What should I write… exactly?”

It deserved its own hashtag. #Takahasnoinitiative. I bit the inside of my cheek to avoid snapping at him. He couldn’t help it. Maybe he had been dropped on his head as a child. Daily. “I’ll write the first one. Then you can copy it.” I grabbed my pack, plus some paper and writing supplies we kept behind the counter and started to head for the private courtyard behind the shop. Then, I turned back to Taka. “Oh, and don’t tell anyone he is missing. Anyone who isn’t one of us.”

It shouldn’t have needed to have been said… but Taka doesn’t think either.

Once safely in the courtyard, I allowed myself a moment to have a private breakdown. I could feel my throat and chest tighten. What if Aki never came back? What would we all do? He’d spent years building his network. Would it disintegrate without him?

Ok. Breath.

Breathe.

I flipped myself into a handstand to center myself… focusing on the physical to cleanse the mental. One thing at a time. Listen to the wind, alert to when it chang-

At that moment, what I heard instead of the wind, was the sound of a packet being slapped onto the counter. This was followed by a voice that almost made me topple over. “I have an urgent message for Akihira.”

Mitsuhide.

He sounded about fifty percent less calm than the last time I had heard him speak, and… why am I upside down again? From where I was, as long as I kept still, I wouldn’t be visible from the front, but I couldn’t change positions without potentially alerting him to my presence.

Hopefully, Taka would remember not to mention…“He’s… he’s errm. I’ll m-m-make sure it goes out with the next courier.” Good. Though Taka had stumbled, most normal people would not have noticed.

Then again… this is Mitsuhide we’re talking about. He’s not normal. He might not even be human. Of course, he noticed. “My, my, that was quite the stutter. Is there a problem? You keep looking toward the-”

“Don’t go back there!” Taka sounded like every guilty toddler on the planet.

Footsteps.

Sandalwood and cinnamon.

That prickly feeling shot through me again, destroying all the focus I had just worked so hard to achieve.

Before I could react, my view was impeded by Mitsuhide’s legs. I tilted my head to look upward, meeting Mitsuhide’s eyes halfway. Then he crouched so that we were nearly face to face. “How very interesting, child. One might almost be convinced that this is your preferred …position. Perhaps you are part bat?”

Thank goodness I hadn’t yet started writing the ‘Aki is missing’ messages. Mitsuhide would definitely have noticed those. “Oh, you know. I’m just hanging around.”

No response.

Tough crowd.

It was tempting to stay upside down and force Mitsuhide to continue to crouch, or potentially get a crick in his neck, but today I was Aki’s representative and there was no reason to further antagonize him, even if he was the most aggravating man in this era. I flipped back to my feet with an artistic flourish. “Not to worry, I will make sure that Aki receives your correspondence the moment I see him.”

Neutral professional tone. Don’t give him anything to react to. These are not the droids you are looking for.

His posture shifted, just a little, just enough for me to register his skepticism.

Ok. Jedi mind tricks don’t work on kitsunes. Good to know.

He let me stew in silence for a moment before asking, “what are you not telling me?”

Seriously? We’re doing this again?

“You know, sometimes I think you say things like that not because you believe the person is holding back information, but because you hope they are. It’s a fishing expedition.” And I am not going to bite him. Anything. I’m not going to bite anything.

His eyebrow went up. “After a single meeting, you’ve determined this about me.” Sarcasm dripped into the air and plopped down at my feet.

“I’m very perceptive.” Which is true, as far as it goes. But something about Mitsuhide short circuited the connection between my brain and my mouth. And with my worry about Aki, my shields were low anyway.

“Perceptive… If you say so, Brat.” The heavy pause mid-sentence made it clear that he had other preferred adjectives for me. “I have not forgotten our last meeting.”

Neither had I.

I made a point of smiling at him. Ok, it was a fake smile, and I’m sure he was aware of that. “Perceptive and memorable.”

Eyebrow.

Distract, distract, distract!

I took out my juggling bags and tossed them into the air. “Dexterous too. There was nothing I could have told you anything that you didn’t already know – or that you didn’t learn soon anyway.”

Although I hadn’t personally witnessed any of this past summer’s conflict between Nobunaga’s forces and the Ikko-Ikki, my friend Sasuke (and his friend Yoshimoto) had later filled me in on the details – not that they had been part of the battle either, but instead were part of the diversionary tactic that led up to it.

Mitsuhide fluidly reached over and took over my bean bags – juggling them as effortlessly as I had. “You cost me time.” He let go of the bags and before I could return to the rhythm of the trick, they all fell to the ground.

Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Splat.

The fifth one landed on its seam, and burst open, scattering pebbles and wood shavings across the courtyard.

Mitsuhide stared down at the jumble of bean bags at my feet. “Interesting. It appears you aren’t as skilled as you believed you were. It would behoove you to learn, and quickly, that recklessness and overconfidence are quite a fatal combination.” He patted me on the head – patronizing, not affectionate. “See to it that Aki receives my correspondence.” He bowed. Polite but distant, then, without another word, Jareth-with-better-teeth strolled out of the shop.

I hate him.

That had been even less pleasant than my first encounter with him. I felt like someone was jamming an ice pick through my sinuses. Maybe I’m allergic to sandalwood. Or cinnamon.

Maybe I’m allergic to Mitsuhide.

“Did I do that correctly?” Taka peered nervously into the courtyard. “And… he’s not going to come back and kill me, is he?”

You? No. Me? Jury still out.

It would take me years to explain to Taka the art of misdirection. Easier to simply say, “you did fine.” Then I took Mitsuhide’s message out of his hands. Without a second thought, I opened it to read—

“You told him you were taking that to Aki.” Taka scratched his head. “You shouldn’t read Aki’s mail.”

“I always read Aki’s mail. In fact, he once told me I should. Anyway, what I told Mitsuhide was that I would give Aki the message as soon as I saw him, which, of course, I will. But since I don’t know when that will be, if this is important, then I’d better see if there’s something that I can do to help.” I did… owe Mitsuhide that much.

His letter was coded, which made sense, but Aki had made a point of teaching me all his codes, not just the ones he used for his correspondence. We had even created a special code together, but that one was only used between the two of us. In retrospect, this was an ominous sign… maybe he had already been worried about his future.

I made myself comfortable on the ground and started to decode the message. “Go back up front, Taka, this is going to be a while.”

“Can I go take a piss first?” Taka was already heading through the back exit en route to the city’s cesspits.

“Sure,” I called to his retreating back, then got back to the message. Friend. Have you had any knowledge of who might be interested in smuggling Nanban weapons out of Sakai or the western ports? Or at least, would you be able to point me to the daimyos most likely to be stockpiling them?

Hm, if Francisco was to be believed, Aki had been headed to the port of Sakai the last time anyone had heard from him… Was it possibly that he had already been looking into weapon shipments? If so, that was the sort of information that Aki kept to himself, and none of the rest of us had much experience with smuggl—

Except me. I had had experience with them.

“Once they load the crates on board,” Iekane gestured to the other crates, “you ought to be able to climb out at night and track down your brother.” He showed me where there was a latch on the lid, and I tested the escape mechanism. “The ship isn’t planning to leave for a few days.” He handed me my bow and arrows. “Light one of these on fire and shoot it into the air. I’ll wait on the dock with our horses. Goodbye… well, good luck, I mean.” I lay back down in the crate and my world became dark as Iekane closed the lid. A few moments later, I heard another voice. “You there! What are you doing with my … shipment?” Footsteps came closer to the box. I held my breath. Now would not be a good time to be discovered. Hopefully Iekane wasn’t in trouble either. “Final inventory check!” Ooh, that was a good bluff on Iekane’s part, since he couldn’t know what was in these boxes. I heard the lid on another box open, and the dull heavy clank of metal – but the only metal that would be imported these days would be Nanban guns. Crap. Of all the crates to pick, we’d somehow gotten mixed in with someone’s weapon smuggling outfit. “Wait ‘til they get a load of these, heh heh.” The clunk of that lid. I prayed that this guy wouldn’t inspect every box. Another voice, this one with a European accent that I couldn’t place through the walls of the crate. “I’m happy you approve, Motonari. You, boy, help us move these.” “Of course.” That was Iekane’s voice. I felt the box being lifted. The motion was soothing, almost like being rocked in a cradle, and in spite of my anxiety, I felt myself becoming sleepy. But after about half and hour or so, my crate’s journey ended with a thunk. And then more thuds – oh the other crates. The jingle of coins. “Pleasure doing business with ye!”

Even after over five years, memories of that near-death experience still gave me nightmares. I couldn’t go into small spaces without having a panic attack… but that also meant that I had very clear memories of exactly how to find that warehouse in Sakai, a warehouse that had at one point been used to store Nanban weapons.

Still, it had been five years… the warehouse could have changed hands, the weapons could be coming to an alternate location now. Was this enough information to pass along to Mitsuhide? Maybe I should check it out on my own first… especially since I had another reason to make that trip. Aki had been planning to meet Francisco, who lived in Sakai. I could go to Sakai myself, check things out, and question Francisco. Then if I learned anything interesting, I could bring that back to Mitsuhide, with a mea culpa for reading his mail.

It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Or… something to that effect.

By the time I dropped three stacks of messages into Taka’s hands, my fingers were sore and cramping. Originally, I had planned to have Taka make the copies himself, but I didn’t trust that he would complete them, or avoid a transcription error that would spill over into all of them – this was too important to trust to a Takauji version of “telephone” in which “Aki is missing” turned into “Go to the province of Aki to look for a missing letter.”

“Give these to Ryo, Kinshiro, and Heitane when they pass through.” Each of them would distribute their stacks to Aki’s spies, who were scattered across the country.

“Are these for Aki, or for Mitsuhide’s request?” Taka looked at the store’s entry, clearly worried that speaking his name out loud would cause the man to manifest.

Don’t worry, Taka, you must stand in the middle of a pentagram and say the name three times for that to happen.

“This is for Aki. I’ll deal with the other on my own.” At my words, Taka sighed, in what I presume was relief. “Um, do you mind if I bunk with you tonight?” There was a set of rooms for the bookseller to use above the storefront. The quarters weren’t terribly big, but for one night, it wouldn’t be so ba-.

“Must you?” Taka frowned, as he glanced at the position of the setting sun on the horizon. “Er, normally I wouldn’t mind, Katsu, but there’s a woman and…”

“Say no more.” Did this woman realize that under the old man disguise Taka was about thirty years old? Or… not? Maybe … you know what. I did not need to speculate on Taka’s love life. I could find a cheap inn. “If Mitsuhide comes back, all you need to tell him is that I took his message to Aki.”

“What if Aki comes back looking for you?” Taka carefully stored the messages under the counter. “Are you heading back to The Mountain?”

Hm, it probably would be a good idea to tell someone where I was heading, just in case. It would be better if I could tell a useful someone, someone with initiative, but I had to work with what I had. “No. Sakai. I’m going to Sakai.”

The shops in the castle town were all in the process of closing for the night, but a few merchants were still willing to sell their wares, even as the sun set. If I was going to be in Sakai, I would need a decent wicker or bamboo hat. Otherwise, in the warmer coastal weather my hood would stick out like a sore ninja. While I waited for the woman in front of me to decide between two different decorative obi cords, as usual paying attention to everything and nothing, the conversation between the woman and the merchant caught my attention.

“Weren’t Lord Hideyoshi and Lady Mai supposed to have returned to Azuchi by now?”

Mai… that’s Sasuke’s friend… the one who works in Azuchi castle.

I’d never met her, but she and Lord Hideyoshi had figured prominently in Sasuke’s tales of this past summer’s battles. I turned a woven hat upside down, examining the inside, pretending to be concentrating on its weight and not her response.

“Um. Well. Yes. But. Um. They are having such a nice time together that they decided to extend their trip. In fact. Mai sent a nice note to all the seamstresses telling us about how pretty it is in Sakai and the weather is lovely there so they are not yet coming back.” The woman’s hands were shaking.

She’s lying.

One of the rules of lying? Keep it short and simple. The more you talk, the more you have to keep track of.

Proving my point, the seamstress continued, “Of course she also said that Azuchi has the best fabric merchants, so I’m sure that when she and Lord Hideyoshi return, she’ll come here immediately… because our orders are piling up.”

“I look forward to seeing her again,” the merchant said while he wrapped up her purchases (she bought both ties).

After the woman took her package and left, I quickly paid for my hat… clearly, I had some additional research to do…

Later that night, when I was holed up at yet another inn, I jotted down what I had learned that afternoon. Mai and her fiancée Hideyoshi had taken a trip to Sakai, and they had neither returned when expected nor sent a message announcing a delay. This was atypical behavior for Lord Hideyoshi (per a couple of Oda’s vassals who probably shouldn’t have been talking that loudly in a public restaurant). Item number two – Mitsuhide was concerned enough about weapons smuggling and smugglers to send a message to Aki.

Were these two items connected?

Meanwhile, Aki had also disappeared, sometime before he was due to meet Francisco in Sakai.

And though I did not know where Aki had been specifically going prior to intending to meet Francisco in Sakai, that was enough of a confirmation to me that all roads led to Sakai.

I hadn’t spent a lot of time there myself, but I knew enough to get around. I knew the blind alleys and the rooftops. Even better, I was certain that Francisco would be willing to trade lodgings for in-house translation services. I could take my time and investigate this properly.

‘Case log’ begun. Travel plans solidified. Hat acquired. Time for sleep.

Time to attempt sleep.

Time to stare at the ceiling again.

Sleep never comes easily for me – I have to chase it, tie it down, hug it to me, and hope for as much rest as possible. Unsurprisingly, when I finally dropped off, I was haunted by the memories of the crate, the weight of full boxes pressing down, the voices of the weapons smugglers checking their stock.

Likely these dreams were summoned by my plan to return to the scene of the so-called crime.

But maybe in doing so, I would finally put some of those ghosts to rest.

@mllorei @selenacosmic @tele86 @bestbryn @lyds323 @akitsuneswife

[mycomicbox]

You seem to be a huge fan of RPG’s what is your RPG favorite game and/or series?

Man, where do I even begin? You can't make me pick just one! I'm just going to go down the list of RPG series that I've played and enjoyed:

Pokémon: My bread-and-butter series since I was 9. My first game was X, but since then, I have played all of the mainline games from the Game Boy to the Switch (currently playing through Violet). I just love battling with those funky lil' creachers :3

Mario & Luigi (and by extension Super Mario RPG): A very charming Mario spin-off series with some unique twists on the RPG formula, mainly with using timed button presses to execute attacks. Unfortunately, the developer AlphaDream shut down a few years ago, so this series is probably dead...

Undertale and Deltarune: C'mon... do I even need to go into detail?

EarthBound/M🌏THER: I love medieval fantasy, but it's sometimes fun to avert tropes. Rather than playing as a knight or mage slaying dragons and goblins, you're a bunch of ragtag kids using PSI and baseball bats to fight animals, gang members, and animated objects. Plus, the series is full of great jokes and overall just OOZES charm. Also MOTHER 3 made me cry.

OMORI: The one that you were probably expecting. Lovely music and presentation, a heart-wrenching story, and beautifully displays mental illness without making a mockery of it.

Final Fantasy: I've only played a few of these (I, III, IV, V, and currently playing through IX), but I have enjoyed the ones that I have played. I've heard good things about VI, VII, X, and especially XIV (though XIV is an MMORPG and those intimidate me). I have to say that my favorite so far is V, simply because of the excellent job system. Speaking of job systems...

Bravely Default: A series that I've gotten into back in May of this year, and it recently celebrated its 10-year anniversary. A sister series to Final Fantasy that's basically a love letter to the JRPGs of old, with an excellent job system and a unique twist on turn-based combat with the Brave and Default commands. The fandom is frustratingly small, however...

Now for some RPG series that I'm wanting to try:

Persona: When the Switch port of Persona 5 Royal dropped, my brother and I both pitched in money to buy it, so I do own it. I just haven't touched it yet because I have so many other unfinished games on my plate. I WILL get to it, though, and that's a promise. If I like it, I might pick up P3P and P4G once those release on the Switch.

Dragon Quest: I've only played the first one so far and when I finished it, I was like "yep, that certainly was an RPG from the NES". Even though it isn't necessary, I want to try to play the games in numerical order (skipping over X because I can't read Japanese), though like I said, I want to clear out my backlog first.

Octopath Traveler: Love the 2D-HD style, and I've heard that it does have a job system of some kind. Also there's apparently a sequel on its way.

Fire Emblem, Triangle Strategy, and Final Fantasy Tactics: I'm lumping these together for one reason. All of the games I've listed so far are your standard turn-based RPGs, with your units on one side and enemies on the other. However, I am open to trying more tactical/strategy games where positioning matters. I've head good things about FFT, and I did find TriStrat at Walmart for relatively cheap. In the case of FE, however... what game do I even start with?

[goddevouringserpent]

@kim-ono tagged me to do this several days ago but I haven't really been on tumblr lately (I'm so strong I deserve so many prizes for ignoring the urge to abandon work in favour of Microblogging Platform) so I've only just seen it. oops

Currently reading: Technically—if we're being extremely generous and stretching the meaning of the word "reading" until it's some sort of fucked up taffy or perhaps bubblegum—I'm reading Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. I started it near the end of May, put it down when I fell EXTREMELY ill in June, and never got around to picking it back up because I have a lot of work to catch up on that keeps piling up no matter what I do. (Which, on one hand, great, money for me; on the other hand, I'm so tireddddd, I want to read something for pleasure and not out of obligation :diosmio:)

Currently watching: Still going through Star Trek: TNG! When I'm over at my mom's we watch it every night at dinner; we're on... season 5, I think? Aside from that, I have yet to finish Wayne's latest Fin Fin stream, largely on account of—again—having precious little time to myself, and when I do finally have some time to myself either I'm so mentally exhausted that I can't focus or I end up deciding I'd rather spend that mental energy on other things.

Current obsession: In terms of interests, Elden Ring continues to reign supreme. I like other things well enough, even Iove them, but ER holds my attention like nothing else can. I'll sink hours upon hours upon hours into that game and to me it only seems like minutes have passed. The day the DLC finally releases is the day I fall off the face of the Earth for a month because I'll be too busy playing. (Although I heard that it's set to come out in Q1 or Q2 2024, instead of this year, which is devastating news to me; more likely than not I'll be in college by then and therefore extremely pressed for free time.)

And also a mixture of replaying VTMB and talking to Joy about DiscOCs VTM AU and vampire concepts has put me back in a very VTM mood. Not quite an obsession yet. But oh I am thinking.

The rules say to tag 9 people so uhhh lemme think. I'm not sure who's done this and who hasn't since, again, I haven't actually been on here a lot recently, and also not sure who's alright with me tagging them, but (absolutely zero pressure btw): @hate-not-wanting-a-name, @asordidbarwere, @nwfairy, @slavonicrhapsody, @1aim2kill3, and uhhh anyone else who wants to do this! (and feel free to say I tagged you! in fact that'd help me know who's OK with me tagging them for dash games going forward hahaha)

[oysters-aint-for-me]

deal or no deal is one of THE most perfect encapsulations of US culture during the early aughts/the george w. bush era. these are notes for an essay i probably will never have time to right:

first of all let me say that i only watch this show when i’m taking care of my grandmother, because she watches the game show network. i don’t really understand how it works, but what i can say (for context) is that it involves contestants picking certain suitcases with different amounts of money, and after you open a suitcase, you can’t win that amount of money anymore. there is a “banker” who offers you a certain amount of money if you agree to stop playing; the algorithm for determining the amount offered is mysterious, but the offer is generally less than the highest value left in the unopened cases.

okay, on to the notes:

the sheer spectacle - one contestant i saw recently mentioned having been in a boy band or something? not a big one. but they choreographed a whole ass boyband dance to tell the contestant the offer the banker made.

the scantily clad models - while of course US society is still incredibly sexist and misogynistic, i don’t think this would fly quite as well if it happened today

the MONEY - the amounts of money in about 2/3 of the cases are high enough to significantly help the average person, but the game is played in such a way that suddenly $10,000 seems like nothing. $10,000 is a shameful amount to win. if the banker offers you $5,000, that’s considered insulting. $5,000 is like...that is NOTHING to sneeze at. but the contestants are encouraged to do exactly that!

the level of product placement: it’s just fucking hilarious. today, generally, game shows are either more and less subtle than it was in the early aughts. today it’s either obvious, like, “this show is sponsored by...” or it’s like, they HAVE the product onstage, but they don’t necessarily say the name of the brand. but today it’s like “well, reverend jeremy, let’s watch a video your parishioners sent you, using the Sony LTD Supermax Tinycam, which they sent to us using Verizon’s Mega Broadband High Speed Internet 2000X, generously provided by the McDonald’s Corporation & Rush Limbaugh Foundation for Faithful Americans!” then the video is like, one adorable Black child, wearing ill-fitting clothes and missing a tooth (to highlight the Poverty of course) saying “I wuv you wevewend jewemy!” and the contestant and the audience are all sobbing and howie goes “gosh, that was moving. thanks, Sony, Verizon, McDonald’s, and Rush Limbaugh!”

the patriotism: if anyone is EVER a veteran or a troop, they get a standing ovation from the audience. generally this kind of thing ages poorly. i just watched an episode where they had on a guy who recently rescued someone who had fallen into the subway tracks. i guess he got an award from the white house for it? they played audio of someone giving him the award and he said something like “there has to be something said for a country if they can produce citizens like this guy.” i thought “i know this voice, i don’t know who it is, but i know i don’t trust them.” it was george w. bush. there was also footage of donald trump congratulating him, and various NBC anchors who have since been accused of sexual harassment. also in the audience was a dog who saved his owner by dialing 911 when he (the owner) was having a seizure. and then when the same contestant’s game went on into the next episode, they had on a (all-male) troop of marines to stand next to the models. btw - the subway hero did not win $1,000,000, but he DID win a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee generously provided by Chrysler

the faceless “banker” - psychologically suggestive of how US-centric capitalism wants US citizens to see banks, i think. something faceless, voiceless, in the shadows, all-powerful, all-knowing, unquestionable in judgment, no room for protest or reaction. you just take what the banker gives you, and if you don’t, if you take a chance on something and end up losing, the banker will punish you, and that’s just the way it goes.

the unabashed audience manipulation through increased pauses, heightened suspense w/ lighting and music, inviting the contestant’s families and friends on, audience shouting.

contestants are “the deserving poor” - people who have lost a lot of money due to accidents or illness or disasters, people have always been poor but who have done something heroic or admirable. this makes you want them to win. this makes it very sad when they don’t win. never do you think “they could just GIVE them the money though...” because that’s not the GAME and in AMERICA you HAVE to play the FUCKING GAME because while you may be “the deserving poor,” we need to have RULES to figure out who deserves to WIN.

“wacky” contestants - i feel embarrassed for the contestants because they have clearly been riled up by something. i don’t know how else to explain it except that they all somehow end up acting like michael scott getting WAY too into a game of charades.

the weak liberalism of the early aughts - once kermit was a guest because it was green week on NBC. the model’s dresses were made out of recycled parachutes. ...ok.