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#i want to keep posting stuff as i read. i am bad at that but stay tuned anyway!!!
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posting this with absolutely no context
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we-love-morioh-cho · 7 months
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Do you think Jodio might find Wonder of U horrifying on a deeply personal level? Since it can essentially subvert and manipulate your "mechanism" to benefit it's wielder Jodio might be very bothered in a philosophical way?
Ooooh, I haven't quite reached the Wonder of U arc yet but I do have a basic idea of what it does and this is interesting. Tbh I don't have a good grasp of the Mechanism thing yet outside of it seemingly being like your fate? I'm admittedly waiting for it to be explained more before I speculate on it too much BUT I definitely think it will tie into a lot of Jojolion's themes.
This ask has also made me consider the possibility of the main villain stand tying into the Mechanism. I don't know exactly how that would work BUT if this idea turns out to happen, we might just see Jodio's struggle with this concept. I really hope we see Jodio's philosophy and psychology challenged and explored in The Jojolands, and this would be a great way of doing it.
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gigamuffin · 10 months
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i'm catching up with the first temeraire book after leaving it at part 3 for months. and all my reading insecurities are coming back in full swing!!!
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thecherrygod · 14 days
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#my posts#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#is that enough i think that's enough#yeah that's how its going#everything's been getting worse and I've been feeling very bad but also very pathetic and like complaining almost makes me feel worse but#i can't do anything else about this so like. vent post lmao bc I'm a dumbass#i truly just want to(redacted)but one of those isn't an option and the other i have a drs appointment soon and i don't want to explain that#everything is just. bad. and what isn't i feel like it's getting bad and it's my fault. and I'm probably right.#just. i hate it here#the deserving mentality is truly getting to me and i fucking hate it. it's not logical. I'll still agree with it.#i truly don't deserve the food stuff i can't keep in my life and i deserve the shit that in getting and i can't stop agreeing with that#'oh this classmate wants to have lunch with me on Saturday after working on something! i should cancel before it's too late-#-so i can continue feeling bad for being an apple bc people should hate me bc I'm horrible and don't deserve kindness' like#it's. it's false. it's not logical. and yet#everyone else there's the fucking plexiglass wall and where it wasn't i think it's getting formed and it is my fault probably#i am annoying that one is true#.... I've been making posts like this all day and deleting them bc I'm pathetic also. it's.#... there's a little too much going on lmao#nothing's worth it and i feel like shit and anything i could try to do about it doesn't work and I'm just tired#... in case someone does read this i know it sounds worrying but nothing will happen tbh I'm just a pathetic coward who's sad and tired#and tired of being sad in a way that feels like it's getting worse#I'm not very sure when was the last time i felt. this bad in just. i don't know how to make it stop lmao#also in already annoying so this is all i can do i think lmao#i think I'm seeing now I'm just. being redundant and if i keep this up too much i will delete this. and i should but. i don't think i will#also without saying much this year the one thing™ has been worse than usual and that's not helping either so it truly is just.#that everything is kinda very bad#.... yeah. whatever. it's just.¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯#... i truly wish killing myself was still an option like when i was a teen bit it's not so i just have to deal with whatever this is#... i hate being aware this is all super illogical bc the logical post of my brain teams up making me feel worse somehow.
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izzy-b-hands · 8 months
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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tj-crochets · 8 months
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It's weird question time again! More detail below a read more, but short version: Do any of y'all with POTS/dysautonomia have any advice for how to do headstands and/or handstands safely? Besides "don't"? I know handstands are probably a no-go, but with a headstand I figure I'm already on the ground, I can't fall down
So the other day I did a few headstands and it genuinely felt like it helped a bit with my blood pressure issues. I mean, it's kind of impossible to tell yet if it actually helped or if I was just so excited to be able to do something like handstands again that I just felt better, but it was nice! I want to do more headstands but my dad is concerned I will end up falling and hurting myself. Some (mostly relevant) backstory: I got POTS when I was a teenager because I got sick and had what I think is called post viral syndrome. It's been more than a decade. I still have POTS. The first year or so was bad, then I had like a year, year and a half "intermission" where I was doing extremely high intensity exercise several days a week* and mostly doing okay POTS-wise. Then I moved, got metaphorically hit over the head with severe allergies, and got abruptly way sicker. Right before I moved and started getting sicker, I started learning how to do handstands. I got to the point where I was somewhat decent, and then had to stop, because I was dizzy enough sitting still that trying to be upside down was a bad idea. Now, I am extremely excited that I might get to start getting back to that again. It's like when I started being able to hit a punching bag again; like, sure it's five minutes like twice a month instead of like two hours two or three times a week, but still!! It's a hobby I thought I'd never get to do again!!!! Sure, it's not handstands and I can't progress from headstands to walking on my hands, which was my original goal, but it's a step in the right direction! My dad is really worried I'm going to fall over, though. I do have a uh...very extensive training, both accidental and on purpose, in How Not To Fall and also How to Fall Without Getting Hurt, from a combination of childhood clumsiness, musical theater, martial arts, and my mom having taught both kickboxing and self-defense throughout a large chunk of my childhood, so I'm not concerned about falling, but I tend to respect his opinion on things like this (he's a former EMT). Do you have any advice on how to practice headstands safely, especially for people with POTS? *first dance rehearsals for a musical like 3-4 hours a day 6 days a week for a few weeks, then a form of martial arts my dad saw one sparring day and called "brutal but very effective" lol
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piplupod · 4 months
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head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up
#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#i want to make friends and be a pleasant person to be around so badly but fhdsjkl then . this household hurts me as it is wont to do#and i have a small breakdown here bc it all feels so awful and i feel like if i keep it locked inside and hidden i will actually CrackTM#and then i feel like that is . well. understandably! a lot! for other ppl to see#and it is very upsetting and scary and awful to read. i know. im so well aware fjdskl#but also augh. augh augh augh. i try very hard to not post abt things as much as i humanly can avoid doing so#but i am very silly and fuck up my own rules for myself when i have a particularly bad experience w mother o' mine#i am worried that if i say anything to the effect of ''life is terrible and i am straight up not having a good time''#then it makes all my other posting look disingenuous or smth. i am literally just posting what is on my brain currently when i post stuff#and oftentimes my brain is like... a silly little swirl-patterned rubber bouncy ball with a happy face on it HDSGJKL#that is like... a lot of my whole deal as a part of the brain fsdfjkl#even with all the grief and upset i can still have a good time bc we stay silly !!!! by god we stay silly through it all !!!#i will shrug my shoulders and say ''ah well what can ya do!'' after getting screamed at or told i'm a disappointment to the family lmfao#because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all#anyways i am talking toooooo much sorry fdsjgkl once again i will delete all this later so i dont upset ppl too much dsjkl augh augh sorry
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mcalhenwrites · 9 months
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Where can I go where my writing matters? (to anyone but me that is)
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strwbrymlkshake · 1 year
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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if i posted about hpmor on here would u all still like me
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I was the one who's struggling to going through y6 but the realization I had when I realized you're my fav MineDai author a while back made my brain blue screen heuwje
Honestly thank you for the good food in both mediums ‼️‼️
OHH YOU'VE ALSO READ MY MINEDAI FICS??? mortifying BUT i'm so glad you enjoy my stuff hi ^^ !!
#snap chats#i love makin stuff for em.. they make my brain happy#also hi :) hope Y6 is A Game for you#ik a lot of people squint at it. i am one of those people#its not a terrible game it's just reaaaally mid imo and the plot's not saving it#but w/e we can talk bout that when you finish it i hope you're able to find more joy out of it than the typical player !#O BTW I SAY MORTIFYING CAUSE IM REALLY INSECURE ABOUT MY WRITING ☠️☠️#'snap why post then' because i have an agenda and i want to Not be an insecure baby about my writing#i do love writing when i get the ball rolling because with writing i feel like i can better explore why i love these charcters#i can only do so much with comics and all and sometimes comics just cant fully convey what im trying to say#but UGH minedai... i love writing them the most No Shit but i just do#their dynamic is so fun and interesting and i dont really see it portrayed in a way that tickles me#not saying how other people do it is bad or wrong obvi its just that there are aspects of it i dont see touched on too much#it makes me really happy when people say they like my writing because of that tho#cause i truly dont expect people to- sometimes i feel like i portray them wrong or just not in a way people like#so yeah im glad you like my fics ! def gives me motivation to keep writing :)#but yeah sorry for the prattle- again thank you for reading ^^#i hope to have more minedai stuff done. i just gotta think of stuff first..#too busy being ill over my cringe and writing fics for that- which i have a new one ready i just have to look it over again
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dobranocka · 2 years
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#anyway#keeping this in tags because of the obvious reasons that i don't want this to spread etc etc#but i feel so tired and burn out and disillusioned in this fandom#to the point i feel bad about the thing i was very very excited to be working on for myself#and i hate the fact that i feel this way#like usually a fandom has been a crutch to me when i was feeling worse in terms of mental health#and the only time i felt a need this strong to disengage was like... in 2019 when some really bad stuff happened in my life#and i can't look at the things i wrote then without thinking 'oh this is a chronicle of my grief'#which yeah makes me sad but also nostalgic for the messages and support i got from fandom friends back then#whereas now it is like...#it's not only that i feel like i am posting and writing fics for the void#since apparently giving any sort of feedback is not something done anymore#or maybe not in this particular community?#why give comments when you can shoot someone a message 'oh you wrote a thing i am definitely going to read it never'#which is... fine i guess#i can deal with people not liking my writing#me ego is big enough i guess#but this is like... the first time in years that i've been finding talking to people in fandom spaces seriously tedious#like not because i don't enjoy talking about this piece of media!#because i do!#but i feel like somewhere along the way people lost the concept of boundaries and idk#not trying to shove your own fic with a weird kink/pairing/concept down someone else's throat#or hear about someone else work and immediately go 'oh amazing i can write the same thing!'#like... how on earth is that a normal behaviour#(not counting like normal assholery behaviour)#idk#maybe i am being too unkind or too fragile#or i just don't get modern fandom 'etiquette'#since apparently now being mindful of potentially triggering things and not spitting them in someone's face is too high of a bar#but i am just... tired
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centralnart · 2 years
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arolesbianism · 4 months
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Y'know now that I'm seeing a small handful of ppl actually giving a shit abt oni lore it's making it so much harder to not become a nerd emoji every five seconds anytime I see someone talk abt oni because I forget that every source of oni information is comically outdated
#rat rambles#oni posting#I have had my fair bit of mistenteripitations as well I have to fight myself every day to not go and delete a bunch of old posts#I wont delete them because they are a catalog of me getting into oni and thats rly important to me but also aghhhhhh#I was wrong abt so much shit that wasnt even because of misenterpretation just me being bad at reading lol#Im still learning new things every time I revisit the logs because I am that prone to misreading and glazing over things#which is why I Really need to finish up and post all the logs so that other ppl can double check with me lol#well in theory theres still not That many ppl interested in lore and Im not even sure if said ppl would see my catalog#but I still want ppl to have an actually complete source for this stuff so Ill probably start cleaning it up more tomorrow#I also will have to go double check that I didnt miss anything because it's very likely I did#it wont be too hard to clean up just annoying since its copy and pasted from the code#again its just abt cleaning it up so that its a bit more readable#I will keep in the name of each log in the files because I think thats information that ppl should be able to access#yknow in case you wanna read it in game without having to hunt it down#for context you can manually unlock a log in one of the oni folders where log unlocks are stored#you can just open it on a note app or smth and add the logs you wanna unlock and it should add them#I haven't done it myself but Ive done similar stuff and its not hard as long as you know the file names#not saying ppl Should cheat in the logs just that I want those who want to to have the option#now my biggest problem is that I dont actually know which logs are spaced out logs#idk maybe theres a way to tell in the files but chances are Ill just have to leave it unspecified for now#I also might end up digging up any set piece item descriptions since while the vast majotity of them are very much not lore relevant#I know at least 2 (3 To Me) are and if I include those and not others thatd just feel weird#its a similar thing I had with the artifacts where the line between lore relevant and not gets blurred the more I include#so yeah Ill start with just logs and artifacts and Maybe do setpiece building descriptions if I feel up to it#but if any of you find the jackie's office setpiece in your saves then know that you have access to both my favorite setpiece and one of my#favorite lines of text in the game Period#its maybe not that big of a deal but it is 2 Me Ok#and to be clear its not jackies desk although I do love that one too girlie is not over her divorce#anyways time to shower and think abt sploon toon some more since well yknow
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mbat · 5 months
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i love a fanfic that knows what its doing. a fic that feels planned out and has clever little things to make the audience go. ohhhh my god. like its great
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*makes a whole bunch of art and crafts*
“I want to sell this so I can make EVEN MORE and also hopefully someone else will enjoy it!”
*can’t fucking drive because of my gods damned epilepsy*
“Alright, so, while I could probably walk this stuff to the ups store two blocks over during spring and fall, once it starts to get really snowy the sidewalks are going to be shit and i don’t want to risk damaging something before I can even send it!” 🥲🫠
#emma posts#all summer it was an issue of time and temperature#i overheat easily#and while I can walk more once the weather gets below like 75 I guess? maybe 80. there is only a limited opening before the rain turns into#snow and i have to trudge through poorly maintained sidewalks without damaging my art#if the city kept the sidewalks clearer it would probably work#but sometimes a sidewalk will just stop existing for at least four months because the snowplows will cover it up#and it will be under like four feet of snowpack that was pushed out of the way for cars#I don’t know what to do 😫#and sure. there IS public transportation here. but they don’t go everywhere and have to be scheduled at least 24hours in advance#I’m also insecure about some of my stuff#some of it i would even give away for free because of that but then it would cost me money to ship#i have photography up online. sure. but the physical things#those are the problem#i especially love to create jewelry but I can only give away so much as gifts#and it would be nice to make some money back so I can keep making more and improving#but then every time I make an improvement I feel like shit about my old stuff!#I am trying to figure out the best way to seal the paper and glass in a pendant without the glue smudging it#and while my old work isn’t BAD. it’s worse than it could be#I don’t do much except read and make art so I keep wanting to create and share more#but im so bad at the sales part#if I liked knitting I could donate it and stuff#but i don’t think many places would take handmade jewelry and stuff#I know a place in a large city a few hours away that might. but they are… not the easiest to get to#creating things is my passion and makes me happy and since I can’t drive it’s one of the only things I can do regularly#but I want to do SOMETHING with what I make#and if I made money off it i could make even more stuff! and also maybe save up for better equipment!#over the years I’ve gotten really good at finding cheap options. but sometimes you just can’t get something super cheap#I’ve been wondering if my friend who has started a photography business would be open to teaming up#but she does portraits and I do everything but that
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