#i want to read good writing again i need to reread + catch up

[milkbreadtoast]

I NEVER SHARED THIS PUBLICLY BC NO HOME WASNT TRANSLATED AT THE TIME BUT I NEED U GUYS TO SEE THIS NO HOME SHITPOST SCENARIO I WROTE IN 2020 WHERE EUNYUNG ACCIDENTALLY CATFISHES JUWAN KDJCXM god its still good....

[mooooonnnzz]

okay,,,, hear me out,,,, how being ford's and stan's younger sibling and maybe like- remember when ford asked stanley to take the book and sail away? maybe what if ford asked reader to do that instead? and what if instead of ford being pushed into the portal it was reader? idk man i justn want some sibling angst >:]

World/Insured

Stanford Pines x Sibling!Reader/Stanley Pines x Sibling!Reader

᧔o᧓ i told myself it was gonna be a short lil fic

᧔o᧓ its 3k words guh

᧔o᧓ i had a lil too much fun writing this

᧔o᧓ if i made a taglist, would anyone be interested in being in it? if so, dm me or comment :p

᧔o᧓ angst!!

᧔o᧓ gnreader!

᧔o᧓ thats really all, enjoy!

᧔o᧓ request r open!!

𝜗℘ “[Name]! There’s some mail, can you be a doll and get it for me?” Stan shouts from the living room, a loud cheer following right after. His favorite football team of his was currently playing out of state and by the obnoxiously loud whistling and joyful cries, they seem to be doing good. Moodily stomping your foot on the ground, you yell; “Why don’t you get you slob!” while furiously scrubbing the dirty dishes clean. “But it’s sooo farr.” He whines. You could perfectly imagine his hand lazily reaching towards the door, exaggerated groans leaving his lips. Letting out an annoyed groan, you drop the plate down in the sink and shut off the sink. Walking out of the kitchen and into the living room, you point an angry finger at him. “You’re washing the dishes since you’re being a lazy bum right now.” You walk away, ignoring his protests against washing the dishes. Opening the door, you pop your head out and see a single postcard placed on the floor matt. You picked it up, curious about the unfamiliar postcard. “Gravity Falls?” You read out, closing the door with your foot. You’ve never heard of a place called that before? Flipping it on its back, in bold big letters read ‘Please come! - Ford’ Your heart catches in your throat. You had to reread the message again to make sure you weren’t imagining things.

𝜗℘ “Stan!” You need to show Stan this. He’d be the one to make sense of this all. Maybe you were imagining things, so delirious on the sadness of your distant brother your brain chose to cheer itself up by hallucinating postcards by Ford. That sounds plausible, right? “What’s up? Did you change your mind?” You don’t bother responding and shoved the postcard in his face. His face scrunches in confusion as he plucks the postcard from your hand. “Gravity Falls?” The same lost expression was pulled on his face. “Now, flip it on its back!” You said, tapping the card eagerly. Stan clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, slapping your hand away. “I will! If you’d let me.” He grumbled, turning it around. He reads the text, his eyes slowly widening. “FORD?!” He screams, abruptly standing up from the sofa. “He wants to talk to us now?” He glares at the postcard, anger swirling in his body. “What could he possibly want!”

𝜗℘ “I dunno but it sounds urgent.” You said, uncertainty in your tone. “You’re seriously considering seeing him?” He throws the postcard on the coffee table in front of him. “Is this something you really want to do?” Stan asks you, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s eyeing you carefully as if you have no idea what you’re talking about. “Yes, Stan! This is our brother. We need to go see him.” Stan pinched his nose, grumbling under his breath. “Fine,” He rolls his shoulders. “If we want to leave now, we better start packing.”

𝜗℘ While packing you wondered what Ford would have wanted. Did he want to reunite? Is this a sort of wedding invitation? Has he gone mad? So many scenarios filled your head and yet none of them felt right. Stuffing your clothes in your bag, you zip it close. “I’m done packing!” You announce, walking down the stairs. “Hurry, Stan! Or I’m going to leave without you!”

𝜗℘ “You better not!” Stan came rushing down the stairs, a bag strung across his body. “You ready?” You ask him, turning off the lights in the hallway. “I guess,” Stan shrugs, twisting the knob to the door, pulling it open. “After you.” He bows down to the floor. You kneed his shoulder, rolling your eyes. “You look ridiculous, get up.” You laugh.

𝜗℘ The car ride over to Gravity Falls was full of bostrious conversation from you and Stan. “Do you think he has a beard now?” Stan gasps, a grin pulling to his face at the thought of Ford with a beard. “Or a buzz?” You add, moving your head to the beats of the song that faintly played on the radio. “Nah, he would never.” Stan shakes his head. “The chances are never zero!”

𝜗℘ Checking the weather for probable storms was something you should’ve done beforehand. Stan was the first to notice how much snow had been falling and how roughly the wind slammed against the car. Thinking nothing of it, you continued onwards, telling Stan that he was probably making a big deal. He wasn’t. Nearing Gravity Falls, a snowstorm plowed through the small town and unknown to you and Stan, you got caught in it. That led you to pull over onto the side of the road that was practically just a white forest wonderland. “And who’s fault is this?” Stan asked sarcastically, motioning towards the car that was stuck in the snow. Fortunately for you and Stan, you were right where you needed to be. “Whatever, we’re close anyway.” You scowl, treading through the thick snow. “I think I might get blown away!” Stan’s loud voice pierced through the loud wind. “Stop being so dramatic!” You latched your hands around Stan’s wrist. “Oh, you’re so sweet.” Stan said, covering his face from the snow with his forearm. “Sure,”

𝜗℘ Approaching the shack, you knock on the door. “Ten bucks he doesn’t—“ The door whips open and a crossbow gets shoved to your face. “Woah, woah!” Stan swiftly stood in front of you, his body shielding you. “Who are you? Have you come to steal my eyes!”

𝜗℘ “Well, I can always count on you for a warm welcome.” Stan said, unbothered with Ford’s unusual greeting. Standing on your toes, you peered your head over Stan’s shoulder. You warmly smiled at Ford. He saw you and Stan, his eyes softened and his shoulders untensed. And for a split moment, Ford had a comforting feeling settle on him. He thought everything was going to be alright, but a slight shadow moving behind the trees triggered his paranoia back tenfold.

𝜗℘ “Guys! Did anyone follow you at all?” He looks warily side to side. “Eh, hello to you too, pal.” Said Stan, annoyance evident on his face. With one final look outside, Ford grabs you and Stan by the collar and pulls you in the shack. He shines a flashlight in Stan’s eyes then yours. “Why did you do that?” You pushed Ford away from you. “Sorry, I just had to make sure you weren't... uh, it's nothing. Come in, come in.” He urges you in, darting away further into the house. You closed the door and surveyed his house. Skeletons of certain animals were hung around, various books were stacked on top of each other and thrown around the house, and loads of crumpled up balls were scattered across the hallway. “What a mess this is.” You whisper to Stan who chuckles softly. “I’m telling him you said that.” Stan cheekily smiled. Removing his hand from his jacket pockets, he held his hand palm up in front of you. “You owe me ten bucks from earlier.” You sighed, grabbing your wallet out of your pocket and grabbing a crisp ten dollar bill. “Thank you!” He grabs it, sniffs it and shoves it in his pocket. “You’re weird.”

𝜗℘ “Uh, you’re gonna explain what’s going on here?” Stan asks, as you walk into another room, your mouth going slack in shock at how messy the room is. “You’re acting like mom on her tenth cup of coffee!” An amused puff of air left your nostrils. “He’s acting way worse than her.” You say, your eyes locking on a large animal skull that laid on top of an empty tank. “Don’t touch that!” He already knew that look in your eyes, a look where it told everyone who knew you that you were going to touch whatever caught your attention. “Thought I could get away with that.” You mumbled.

𝜗℘ Ford fills his arms with stacks of paper and a thick journal with the number one drawn on it. “Listen, there isn’t much time.” Ford starts, looking back to see if he missed any papers. “I’ve made huge mistakes and I don’t know who I could trust anymore.” He glances over to the skeleton who was positioned to where it's empty eye sockets stared directly at Ford’s side. Uncomfortable with the skeleton, he turns the head around. Stan’s immediately off put with how Ford’s talking. “Hey, uh, easy there. Let’s talk this through, okay?” He says, placing a hand on Ford’s shoulder. A glimpse of conflict flickers on Ford’s face. “I have something to show you two. Something you won’t believe.” Stan claims he’d understand, you heavily doubted that, this is Ford we’re talking about. Whatever he has to show, it is nothing within the lines of normal.

𝜗℘ He instructs you to follow him down to his lab. “Is this what you’ve been doing for 10 years?” You pondered out loud, your eyes taking in every machine that covered the place. What you weren’t expecting was the big triangular portal that stood in front of you and Stan. “Do you understand any of this?” You harmlessly jested. Stan dumbly stared at the portal in front of him. “Nope!”

𝜗℘ Taking steps towards the machine, Ford began to explain why such a thing was built and why it should never be turned on. He opened the side of his trench coat, his hand grabbing the book that was tucked in a pocket. “There’s only one journal left.” The journal was in front of you. “This is why I’m entrusting [Name] to hold onto the book.” You grabbed the book and you instantly felt queasy. “I have something to ask of you both,” His hands lay on you and Stan’s shoulders. “Remember our plans to sail around the world on a boat?” Your eyes glimmer with excitement. Was this the moment you and Stan have been waiting for? Are the Pines finally reuniting once and for all? “Take this book, get on a boat and sail away as far as ya can! To the edges of the earth!” He emphasizes this with a raise of his hands. “Bury it where no one can find it!”

𝜗℘ “You want us to get away from you?” You restated, voice slightly clipped with anger. “We just got here, Ford! And now you’re saying to get away from you?” You repeated, hoping your words held some kind of weight that would’ve shattered the ridiculous idea Ford had conjuring in his mind. “[Name], you don’t understand what I’m up against!” Ford says. “What I’ve been through!”

𝜗℘ Stan must’ve took what Ford said personally with how he was huffing out through his nose. “No, no!” Stan points at Ford. “I’ve been ban from three different countries! [Name] was outcasted by Dad because he didn’t bother taking care of them after you left! You think you’ve got problems? Me and [Name] have been struggling to stay afloat, Stanford.” He directs a finger to Ford’s chest. “Meanwhile, where have you been? Living it up in your fancy house in the woods! Selfishly hoarding your college money, because you only care about yourself!”

𝜗℘ “I’m selfish? I’m selfish, Stanley?” His eyebrows furrow inwards. Ford opened his mouth, ready to blow a few holes into Stan when you interjected. “I did not come here to hear you guys fight!” You stood in front of Ford, shoving his book in his hands. “Ford, I love you so much but we did not come all the way here just to do your dirty work.” Ford jerked his head back in disbelief. “My dirty work? Really?” He chuckles dryly. “And to think I could trust you with something valuable like this!”

𝜗℘ “Forget it,” Ford looks down at his book. “Forget all of this.” He waves his arm around his surroundings. “Why did I bother to ask you guys to come here? It’s pointless, everything is!” Ford babbles to himself, his hand that wasn’t holding the books was deeply entangled in his hair. You grew concerned over your brother, taking a step toward him, you reached a hand out. “Ford, are you o—“ A hand slams straight into your chest, pushing you back and stumbling over your feet. Stan grabs a hold of you, steadying you before yanking the book away from Ford. “You want to get rid of this book?” With his other hand, he digs it in his pocket. “Fine, I’ll do it then!” He pulls out a lighter. Flicking the lighter on, he holds the fire below the book. “My research!” Ford tackles Stan to the ground, the book flying out of Stan’s hold. You hurriedly rush over to where the book is and grab it. Ford removes himself off Stan and steadily approaches you like a wild animal. “Give me the book back, [Name].” He swipes his hand towards you, but you quickly back away into his lab.

𝜗℘ “Don’t let him get the book, [Name]!” Stan groans out, standing back up from the floor. “No!” Ford snarls. “Don’t listen to him, listen to me!” Ford took two steps forward while you took two steps back. “I’m sorry, Ford!” The back of your shoe slams against metal. Whipping your head behind you, you see yourself backed into a control panel of some sort. “Why must you do this to me? To your own brother!” His voice cracks with each word. “Whatever you’re doing here is slowly killing you, Ford. This isn’t right.” You shake the book in your hand. Whatever that’s in this journal must have something to do with Ford’s declining sanity. “Your brain can’t comprehend the sheer amount of important information that is in that book! You can’t destroy it!” Ford lunges towards you but you were faster than his fatigued body, you duck below and roll out of the way. His fingers brush against some controls, powering on the portal.

𝜗℘ Running back to where the portal stood, you threw the journal to Stan. “Catch!” You yell. Stan perfectly catches the book. “What do we do with it?” He questions, his eyes speedily darting to the book and Ford who was running up to him. “Destroy it!” You watch Stan stepsids Ford. “No!” Ford desperately yells out. Stan ran back into the lab but was pulled down by Ford delivering a well calculated kick to his ankle. “Give me back my book!” Ford cried out, kicking Stan to the back of the control panel. A guttural howl of agony left Stan, his hand flying to his back. He fell forward and you could see the upper right shoulder of his jacket was burnt off, a sizzling marking was blistering on his skin. “Stanley, oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, are you alr—“ Stan punches Ford in the face, causing him to stumble back into the lever, fully activating the portal. “Some brother you turned out to be!” Stan threw his book to the floor. Ford raised himself to his feet and was about to run to the book when you grabbed the back of his shoulder.

𝜗℘ “Stanford, do you really care more about stupid mysteries than your own family?” You spoke quietly, your sorrowful eyes locking with Ford’s erratic ones. “I—“ He gulps, his eyes shooting to the discarded book on the floor. “Don’t reach for the book, Stanford, please,” You beg, your voice shaky. “I can’t watch you guys fight anymore.” A look of sadness covers his face as he pushes you back, your feet overstepping the yellow and black caution tape. “I can’t let you take this away from me too!” Ford snatches the book from the ground, a relief sigh leaving him. The book was finally—

𝜗℘ “[Name]!” Stan screeched. “Stanford, what did you do!” He screamed, his hands grabbing his shoulder, fingers digging into Ford’s skin. Ford turns over to see you being pulled in by the portal. “[Name]!” Ford runs to you and he attempts to grab you, but you’re too far up. “Stan, Ford!” You call for them, your hand reaching to them. Stan fruitlessly tried snagging a finger, your sleeve, absolutely anything! But nothing. “What’s happening?!” You cry out in fear, seeing half of your body disappear within the portal. “Stanford, fucking do something!” Stan shoves Ford back. “I-I don’t know what to do!” He stammers. Stan grips the lever and with all his strength, pulls back, trying to switch it off but it wouldn’t budge. “Stanle—“ Your voice gets lost to the whirling wind of the portal and with a quick blink, you were sucked in, lost to time and space. The portal blasted Ford and Stan back.

𝜗℘ Stan groggily gets up, clutching his head in his hands. “Y-You!” Stan stumbles over his words, ears ringing loudly. “If it wasn’t for your obsession with this book, [N-Name] would’ve still been here!” His eyes water with tears. “Stanley, I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for this to happen!” Ford glanced at the portal, it was still intact, there was some hope! “We can power the portal on!” Ford scrambles to his feet and runs over to the portal. “It’s not going to work, Stanford.” Stan says, clenching his teeth so tightly he would’ve chipped a tooth. Stan watches with blurry eyes as Ford pathetically puts all his nonexistent strength into pulling the lever. “Stanley, help me!” He pitifully pleads. “It’s not going to work!” Stan yells. “All you do is bring bad luck wherever you go! You-You don’t do—“ His voice dies in his throat, a shuddered sob leaving in its stead. “Forget it, Stanford.” If you were here, you knew you wouldn’t want them to fight anymore. He held back his words in favor of you. “Stanley, we can fix this! We just need to find the other books.”

𝜗℘ As Ford shouted out different ways they could boot the portal back up, Stan left the lab and stared at the bag you left near the door. Grabbing it, he pulled it to his chest and sobbed onto it. You were gone and he wasn’t sure he was going to get you back.

Part 2

[getawayfox]

Happy birthday, darling @wolfpants! I’m bringing you a banner with Draco on it since you share a birthday with him, what a fun coincidence! When deciding how to celebrate you and your writing, I knew I wanted to do an author’s reclist but wasn’t entirely sure how to go about it because every single fic in your catalogue is worth a rec of its own. So I took inspiration from an ask game - a list of categories I could fill with my rambling. I hope you have a wonderful birthday full of nice things! ILY! 🤍

🤍 A fic I want to read again for the first time: Under Giant Mountains (Drarry, E, 34k)

I thought about it for a long time because I would give anything to experience all of them for the first time again but eventually, I landed on Under Giant Mountains. It feels a bit sacred to me and I think it’s because I relate to this Harry a lot; because it’s a gentle story about healing; because it made me cry but in that really good, cathartic way. I think it will do the same regardless of how many times I read it.

🤍 A fic I reread the most times: Pages of You (Drarry, E, 102k)

According to AO3 the fic I have visited the most is Pages of You, which is no surprise. Do I share how many times I clicked on that fic? Is it embarrassing? Probably. Oh well, here it is:

Look, it’s my comfort fic, okay? What can I say - an 80s coming-of-age story? Sign me the hell up. In all honesty, I don’t really have words to describe how this fic makes me feel - it’s like a safety net for my inner child maybe, or something similarly, horribly cheesy. It’s a book I want to own, have on my bookshelf, and return to it over and over again. Maybe one day it will be.

🤍 A fic that made me (re)consider a ship: Spellbound (Draco/Albus, E, 2k)

So here is the thing - I’m pretty faithful to my favourite ships and don’t often read outside of them, except when it’s a rarepair that catches my eye and then I’m happy to be persuaded. And Wolf is brilliant at that, honestly, they could talk me into anything. And so even when it comes to a ship I didn’t know I needed, like Draco/Albus for instance, I just know that in their hands, it’s gonna be layered and thought-provoking and just so, so delicious. Here is the proof: Spellbound, a Dead Dove fic that is just the perfect flavour of dirtyhotwrong. Yum.

🤍 A favourite rarepair fic: Galvanize (Scorpius/Ron, M, 1k)

Speaking of rarepairs. Wolf has a whole collection of kinkuary fics, which is a rarepair heaven, go forth and pick your poison. I’m gonna go with Galvanize, in support of Hot Ron Agenda ™. It’s an M-rated Scorpius/Ron fic and the dynamic here is unmatched - so innocent and yet. Gah!

🤍 A line from a fic that’s haunted me: Waiting for the Moon to Rise (Drarry with a hint of Bill, E, 9k)

This is hard because I can think of many (see QQR) but if I had to choose just one, it would have to be this masterpiece:

—his voice had been thick, Draco remembers that, because he’d been eating an apple stolen from the kitchens on their way outside. He kept trying to get Draco to eat it too, playfully pressing the bitten edges to his mouth, damp like a kiss, until Draco had pushed him off him with a laugh— “stop that, Potter, or I’ll shove it someplace where it’ll hurt ”—and all the while, his lips had tingled with sweetness, a phantom caress he would take to his bed later that night and think about with his hands while the rest of the Eighth Year boys would sleep and snore, none the wiser—

Which is of course from Waiting for the Moon to Rise, featuring an intimate friendship, lots of UST and Bill the matchmaker 😏

🤍 A fic that ripped my heart out (but it hurt so good): The Hollow (Remus/Draco, E, 12.5k)

Oh boy. We’ve all read The Hollow, right? Right. It’s one of those fics I think about so often it can’t be healthy and yet I can’t go anywhere near it again because I don’t think I would survive a second read. It’s so, so, so good. It’s so painful. It’s everything I want from the pairing. I never want to see it again. It carved itself into my heart and will stay there forever.

🤍 A fic that made me laugh: Romp and Circumstance (Drarry, E, 33k)

So. Many. Wolf’s banter in fics is unmatched but for the sake of this game I have to say one, so I’ll go with Romp and Circumstance - and as much as this fic is hilarious, it’s also so full of love and longing and romance. It’s so vibrant! A perfectly executed AU with characterizations that are just chef’s kiss!

🤍 A song I now associate with a fic: Everybody Hates a Tourist (Drarry, E, 52k)

I will always associate Common People by Pulp with Everybody Hates a Tourist. I remember sitting in a beach cafe last year and the song started playing and immediately transferred me into the holiday vibes of the fic. I’m obsessed with both Harry and Draco in this story: with who they are, separately, and eventually together. Their characters are written so brilliantly here; they’re both given space to grow into themselves, into what they want out of life and their getting together feels like the most natural thing in the world.

🤍 A fic that’s between me and my AO3 history: Seat You Higher than the Stars (Ron/Harry, E, 1,8k)

Ha! I have no secrets or shame. Nothing is just between me and AO3, I’m an open book and will shout about it, and especially about this fic I thought was fitting (pun intended) for this category - just look at the tags: emotional vulnerability and fisting (elmo fire emoji). This is Seat you Higher than the Stars, a Ronarry fic that has got to be one of my favourite things ever written. It’s so tender and beautiful! 

🤍 A fic that feels like a warm blanket: Thickets (Drarry, E, 17k)

That is *exactly* how reading Thickets feels. Oh, this fic. So gentle and mature, full of soft, quiet pining and second chances. It’s so atmospheric and nostalgic. Layered with complicated grief and vowed with humor and warmth, this fic is simply stunning. It’s a getting back together story that feels like a deep exhale. It’s melancholic and hopeful and it has one of my favourite characters of all time - a portrait of Young Draco to perfectly illustrate just how far current Draco has come.

🤍 A fic I want to be made into a film: Led by Light of a Star Sweetly Gleaming (Sirius/Remus, E, 53k)

My Wolfstar-loving heart could not forget this story - in a way a prequel to Pages of You but also a standalone fic set in the '60s. Wolf’s worldbuilding and attention to detail really shine here - it would make such a stunning film! But it’s not just that, it’s the characters, too, where the magic lies: completely in awe of each other and unbearably lovely. “You’ve no idea how much I want to worship you.” will be forever my favourite thing Sirius has ever said.

[kel-lance]

Team Bonding: JJK students x reader x sukuna Part 1

- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more.

- Premise: Characters are (18+) (Reader is 21) Jujutsu College au where things are the same but they found yuuji/He ate the finger at 18/+ the start of college.

- Yuuji “came back” after two months of “being dead” and you’re in charge of the training for today for the kyoto sister event.

- Sukuna switches with yuuji in this and chaos ensues :/

Edit: I reread this a month later and guys oh my god. i wrote these time patches of time, right after hitting the rig, and then blacking out after a few paragraphs im sorry ill actually write this time.

You were coming back from a mission that took about 2 weeks due to traveling and tracking down a spirit as the higher ups were testing your Light Manipulation. You know it was hard for everyone the death of one of the freshmen, now you look after Nobara with Megumi. 

You’re the only 3rd year and they all knew you loved your pride. Something about being the “oldest” (since the seniors are all granted weekly missions.), the authority that just made looking up at them, was just an excuse to point your nose up high, and only got depressed for a /day/ when you found out Kamo was 5 days older than you. 

You’re like an older sister or mom to them, with a few exceptions. The days were leading up to the Kyoto sisterhood school match, while everyone was meeting up to train, Gojo introduces Yuuji back to everyone. 

You’re all shocked to say the least. Gojo was acting normally the whole time, that bastard. “(Y/n)’s in charge of sparring today. I’ll come back later with Shoko in case Yuta’s too tired.” He teased at his baby cousin before he left. He was probably referencing to take it easy pn yuta, he probably beat his ass showing him a new technique.  

You ignored him yet again and started to pair everyone up. “Nobara and Yuta, Panda and Maki, Toge and Megumi,” leaving you with Yuuji. “We’ll take it slow zombie.” 

- Into the match you cursed, “Shit- he’s so durable.” But you loved that. You threw yourself back and used your fingers to catch and push yourself away from Yuuji’s next punch. “He’s a close range fighter, too.” You feel like you found your match in terms of adaptability. 

You fix your stance, both legs balances one in front of the other, knees bend, your body lowers and fingers and knees bent, ready at any time to change from offense to defense. You find his eyes again and don’t dare break contact as he’s fast. Faster than you, a blink could be worse than a misstep.

This was new as you always held yourself back from seriously harming your classmates. That pride doesn’t come from nowhere. Your favorite sparring partner is Todo, because he can get close and handle/not hold back punches. 

It felt like you were getting beaten with respect, not like what I want to do to my underclassmen. What good would they learn from losing a time from sitting in the infirmary so often? But this was different.

You felt like you were fighting Maki on drugs, or with cursed energy, and was face to face to Yuuji, as he pinned you down. He was almost like Todo, but you couldn’t read him since you just met.

“Where’s your pride now?” He had enough of your poking and prodding. No warm welcome, not even a nice reaction from his friends. But he knew it was serious to you, so out of respect, he’ll follow suite. He’ll show off what he learned in his training with Gojo. 

“Shut up Cannibal Corpse.” You teased back, smashing your forehead into the T of his face, hoping he’d be able to take it. 

He backs and stands up, hand covering his face. He stopped in a way to let you know he needed a second. Blood coming from his nose? Or his mouth?

“Oh shit, are you okay?” You stand up too, turning to yell for your medic. “Yuu-“ You’re thrown back by the scruff of your collar landing on your shoulder, butt and hands, scratching them. 

“Woah, dude, look I’m sorry,” You huff, rubbing your scraped skin as you slowly stood again. “I thought you could handle it.” You tried to ease the tension, coming close to him to see if he was alright.

He doesn’t look at you, but you feel an energy forming around him. You didn’t know what this could be, his cursed energy? Why does it feel so suffocating? 

“(Y/N)!” Megumi tries to get his shikigami to get you out of his proximity but they were slaughtered in a a blink of an eye. 

“What the hell was going on, where is the enemy?” You quickly looked up and down, about to grab Yuuji and run. 

But your face was cupped so hard your chin could’ve snapped. Pinkie was looking down at you with cold eyes. Why were you letting this happen? You were in charge, you’re the oldest. You don’t resist but give a look of what the fuck back to him. 

“Sukuna! Let her Go!” Megumi screamed. The other students semi surrounding you both.

“She’s so fun, though.” Yuuji cocks a smile, your brain still trying to make sense of what’s happening and who was really in danger here. You glare harder at him, knowing if you struggled, he would like it, and that it was cause you more pain. You couldn’t freak them out anymore, you’ve gotta get this under control. 

“Tell you what, since /I’m/ the oldest,” He gave your cheeks a squeeze. “I’ll take over this bonding sparring whatever ur stupid sensei said. Putting a woman in charge… ha! I’ll show you a type of bond you all can share.”

He tears off the front of your shirt, holding your body closer, but you still say nothing but feel hate for him. Trying to humiliate you in front of your classmates, like you’re not in your sports bra most of the time. It didn’t bother you that you were semi exposed, you knew you looked good, but what was the reason?

Everyone started to yell and tell him to stop, ignoring the embarrassing sight Sukuna tried to use. Of course they didn’t care about your body, they had to figure out a way to separate you both carefully. You turn to face your classmates.

“It’s okay guys, if he wanted me dead he would’ve killed me by now.” You shoot your eyes back and look glare into Sukuna’s eyes, not the same bright, round eyes you first saw before anything else. You look harder.

“Yuuji’s still in there somewhere.”

Sukuna laughs. “You guys misunderstand. I said I’m in charge,” His other arm that was holding your torso back starts to move down the curve of your body, stopping at your outer thigh and squeezing roughly. “Todays lesson is, endurance. This one here,” He holds you up by your neck, as you’re trying to use your upper body strength up get higher, to get some air but his wrists alone are strong enough for him to pick u up easily. “will stomach all I will give her.” 

He brings you back down, coughing for air as licks a tear from your cheek. He reverts his eyes back to your helpless friends. “Your part now is to endure, all the way til the end, then my game can start.” 

You honestly couldn’t care what he was talking about, you could take whatever ridiculous match he has set up but to involve your mates? it wasn’t a sense of pride anymore but of respect of your friends. You just met this prick, the only thing stopping you from beating his ass to hell is that you saw their reaction about his supposed death. You didn’t want to be the real reason this time, well could you?

If worse comes to worst, you should be fine. You could take a beating, you had no problem being fought by a special grade curses and even showing off before Gojo gets here. Once you get out of his grip you can get everyone to attack. You’re the only thing in the way though you wouldn’t mind being taken with him if it comes to it. how heroic would that date be.

“Interrupt at all, even think about it, and I will end them, you, then anyone else I can find after.” He says to no-one. The parasite everyone was so on edge about needed a moment to breathe?

He huffs for a second, you thought there was a light in his eyes as he tried to let you go. You soften your look when- “Ah ah ah.” Sukuna takes over again, pinning you back to him, his other hand clapping around your neck. “I said I’d end them, and then you all.” He repeats to Yuuji. “Just shut up, watch, and then I’ll go away. It’s so boring being cooped up in this brat all day.” In all this, Yuuji’s trying to fight back? He can see this? Was anyone going to tell you what the fuck was going on. “Id rather be in this one instead.” 

You felt the energies around you shrink down, though, agitated. It seems they knew about what was happening to Yuuji and seeing them scared like this wasn’t really a good sign for you. They can get scared of course, but all of them? Together like this? This was not how you wanted to traumatize them, what would they learn other than powerlessness?

“Let go already, you’ll leave a mark on my neck.” You choked out. 

“You don’t have the brains to worry about that after I’m done with you.”

You roll your eyes at him earning a slap. You fell the ground shake and your friends winced at the sound. “Fuck-“ You shot up from the ground holding your steering hot cheek, right before he kicks you back down, leaving you sprawled and confused at the assault. 

You haven’t been hit like that in years. Tears weld up in your eyes and you choke on a memory that’s created this boastful monster.

Sukuna frowned, “I thought you were tougher than that. Maybe this won’t be as fun as I thought. I knew I should’ve started with the short girl over there.” 

You spit at him. “Don’t touch her, I’ll fucking kill you.” You blink to clear your vision and suppress the overwhelming memory. You glare at him before finding Nobara’s eyes. If they were 2+ years younger than you, you’d joke that they’re just a kid, but Nobi, your new baby sister,Like hell you’d let anyone make her feel how you felt. She was tough like you, even tougher you thought, because of how different you were, but still ended up similar.

“Tell me have any of you tried her out yet?” 

You could only look out to see your friends gritting their teeth and weapons. Panda speaks up, “She’s our best fighter.” Hoping to lead away from this devious situation. You’ve already fought them all, and won. Is kuna trying to piss you off more? You ignore his assaults, the unfamiliar hands now controlling you. 

“That’s just perfect.” He pulls your hips to connect to his, and your heart stops. You can feel it.

You actually freeze this time. Is he actually going to do it? You’d rather be beaten half to death or even to death, but how hard he was behind you, it birthed a black hole in your stomach. 

Your body goes limp, unconsciously submitting to him, your eyes fall, not being able to look at anyone else. Will he be quick, will they fight for me? Is this what he really wants? Or is this just the start? 

He picks you up and drops you to your knees painfully, still holding onto your collar. “Don’t try to run unless u want all their heads stringed together.” He says to you. 

Everyone else watches, clutching each other or their weapons tighter, trying to think of a way, when they can go in, or if they even see when Gojo was coming back . 

Grabbing your chin and lifting it up, he looks down at you and smacks you again. Your ear is on fire. The strike of his finger felt like a whip onto the side of your face. He hits you again, then again, and again. 

You huff, picking yourself up slowly each time. If you didn’t, he’d step on your fingers, almost trying to grind the bones inside. 

Sukuna raises his hand as you stare down and with this one, he sends you to the feet of Toge, Yuta, and Panda. 

They look down at you, mixed feelings of guilt, anger, sorrow,. You speak to them through swelling cheeks, “Don’t worry you guys, I’ll be even stronger after this. Get ready cause next tim-”

Sukuna comes by and grabs you by the hair, dragging you to back to your original spot, tears and blood now messing up your face. 

“You look so stupid right now.” He sneers. “You should see yourself.”  At this point you were exhausted from holding yourself back from beating the shit out of him. 

“Everyone,” He raises his voice for an announcement. “take your phones out and take a picture from your favorite parts of the lesson, okay?” 

He tilts your head towards his, takes out Yuuji’’s phone from his pocket and snaps a picture of you both. *click*

[thatneoncrisis]

I was just catching up on your most recent fic after a busy week and saw your AN and came here looking for more clarification.

I guess I don’t understand why you felt the need to take it upon yourself to write something that you knew would get the attention of the people you were satirizing. Your whole stance on fan fiction (based on your own personal statements in both your asks and your ANs) seems to be that if people aren’t doing it the way you personally like, they shouldn’t be doing it at all. You keep saying you want people to just talk to you about it but why should they when you haven’t extended that gesture to them?

Also it’s very odd of you to be speaking for an entire group of people you yourself do not identify with. To what end exactly? So you can pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you fandom correctly while everyone else doesn’t? Did someone come to you and ask you to advocate for them? It just doesn’t make sense why you felt like this was your responsibility to correct or something.

It kind of reeks of moral (and fandom) superiority, like you’re just doing the most to educate people (which is. Not a thing we need in fandom spaces) and keep them on your straight and narrow instead of letting fandom works be what they are which is, for most people, a fun, exploratory way to engage with the source material. Your GOTCHA attitude towards readers who were enjoying your “bland” fic was very shocking. It does come across like you just want to embarrass people who enjoy those types of stories and tropes and make yourself feel enlightened and better than them because you thought outside the box.

I don’t know. The idea of using these tropes as a tool to spring “THIS WASN’T REAL” on readers is fun but I think it would have been much better if you hadn’t actually been making fun of other people. That kind of spoils the whole experience of your fic. I’ve been a fan of your writing and art for a long time and I do genuinely understand the desire to have people write more of what you want to see/write things that feel more in-character, but the approach here is confusing and off putting and it’s pretty disappointing to see you openly hurt people just because you like dicking around and can’t just scroll past stories/ideas/headcanons you don’t agree with.

Anyway I doubt any of this will change your mind about what you did and I doubt you’ll even care about what I have to say about it. It’s hurtful and upon deeper inspection and reading and rereading the fic and your AN and asks, I’m pretty sure I’m one of the intended targets. This is kind of word vomit at this point as I try to get my thoughts out but you asked for the people you were criticizing to reach out so here I am. Discouraging and disappointing but I hope you found what you were looking for I guess.

see thats like. completely antithetical to the point ive been reiterating for like a week. i CANNOT stop anyone from writing and i dont want to this is not the take away and it never has been. if they want to write fifteen fics like that to spite me then good on them i really just

cannot keep saying enough that i dont want anyone to STOP writing. this was just me kind of screaming in the dark because i see the exact same patterns repeated over and over. you should never ever stop creating because some fucking nobody is frustrated with the content produced en mass for free as a hobby. there is no actionable Thing that can take place here i cant stop anyone from writing any of this i just kind of wanted some people to Think about what they were reading. ive gotten messages from people saying they didnt like the initial tone of the story before chapter 4 but kept reading it because they were desperate for content. thats nuts to me! but i also understand that those people just have very little to choose from. if anything i want MORE people to write

like i keep saying again and again i do not want and cannot stop anyone from writing whatever they want. im not your mom! and to a certain degree, this did come out of nowhere there was no big thing that set it off, it was just me being obscenely frustrated.

and what i am REALLY frustrated about is how presumptuous youre being! i do feel bad that i hurt people and i decided basically a day after i posted the chapter i would never do something like this ever again. theres just too much room for misinterpretation. you are actively reading me as malicious like we can just talk in dms. "im so disappointed in you" YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. THAT is the shit that is getting to me youre acting like i am incapable of acknowledging how i know this fic could have been interpreted. its up now i made my bed im not going to plug my ears and pretend a public vent wouldn't catch people unawares. i am no stupid and do not treat me as such

i am actively choosing not to post most of the asks i get in FAVOR of this because they are dumping on the kinds of fics i dont even necessarily like and i think that's just adding on. again this is why i spoke about braid tropes used, shit that could basically be applicable to any fandom, and not a particularly fic. i didnt want to go into someones comments or dms and say hey! your fic is personally, to me, bad and hard to read, might you explain yourself? like theres nothing TO explain its aet it just exists how it is. there was no nice way of doing this kind of thing, but itd be so sweet if people didnt call me a friendless clout chaser and do some "you'll never work in this town again" shit.

[fieldofdaisiies]

two month story wrap up and shout out part 1: x Reader stories

I haven't read many stories in the past months, but I managed to catch up with some. so here we go, a little shout out to amazing creators and my absolute favourite stories I have read lately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Son of the Darkness - by @moonlightazriel; Azriel x Reader; do I even need to say how much I love this story? and that it all came form a dream...god, do I love the storyline and how well-developed and varied the characters are. the story has so so much potential and is so different from other Azriel stories, check it out if you have time, it is so worth it.

Song Week- by @moonlightazriel; Azriel x Reader; this was a full week (so 7 stories) inspired by songs; not only was the idea amazing also the stories were incredibly and so beautifully varied.

Buried Underneath - by @bubbles-for-all-of-us; Azriel x Reader; you want angst? then let the queen of angst serve it to you. yeah, she likes to break hearts with her stories, but it is so worth reading them, you will not regret it.

Safe Haven - by @bubbles-for-all-of-us; Azriel x Reader; even though there is a sparkle of angst in it, she also writes amazing fluff, so check out this piece as well, it was sooo so good.

Pretty Princess - by @euphoricpixiee; Ruhn x Reader; there is a severe lack of Ruhn story and this incredibly author does everything to fill this lack. loved the story so much, definitely blushed because it is hooooot.

Ice Cold Kiss - by @azrielscrown; Azriel x Reader, I mean I doubt there is a single not good story on her blog, but this was phenomenal; Jesus I am still feral for it and definitely reread it one or two times; also I am still grateful she chose this picture because that inspired me to post my drawings.

Moonlight Rising - by @azsazz, Azriel x Reader; I mean I can only repeat myself but does this author have one story that is not good? I doubt it. but this piece had me in tears, sooooo cute and fluffy, gaaaah.

Building Bonds - by @cosmic-whispers, Azriel x Reader; I remember reading this when I took a little break from tumblr and just read on the web and not logged in. but I loved it sooo much and will definitely read it again soon. it is sooo cute and I love the idea soo so much, soooo well written, such an incredibly talented author

Overwritten - by @illyrian-dreamer; Azriel x Reader; this author is definitely the second queen of angst, this piece had me in tears and I cannot describe how much I love your writing and stories. this story was perfection.

Stay With Me - by @illyrian-dreamer; Azriel x Reader; yeah, definitely second queen of angst because this was heartbreak and perfection all at once.

Always - by @redbleedingrose; Azriel x Reader; I still cannot believe that this author asked me for writing advice all this time ago; the story is so incredibly and I love that you decided to post it; best decision ever because look what gift you brought for all Azriel x Reader story readers.

Wingspan - by @viradeity; Azriel x Reader; this was such a cute and funny little drabble and I ADORED it. so well-written

general shout out to

@azrielsbabyg @aroseinvelaris @brekkershadowsinger @brekkershadowsinger @kennedy-brooke @acourtofwhatthefuck @acourtofmenandthirst @writingsbychlo @azrielhours @swansworth this is a little shout out for you who don’t posts fics or where I haven’t read that many fics yet or where I couldn't decide for one as I haven't read that many of yours lately. but I wanted to make this shout out for your other contributions to the fandom (or your stories obviously) thank you for all your works and adding so much positivity and love to this fandom.

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

[writingquestionsanswered]

I’m curious writing gives me stress even if I enjoy it, but I became an author to enjoy things for me to read. But I don’t enjoy it with the fresh eyes of a reader. I’m curious do authors enjoy reading what they write the same way a reader does?

Writing, Stress, and Enjoying Our Own Writing

I know your question is really about the second thing, but since you mentioned that writing gives you stress, I want to address that, too.

Why is Writing Stressful?

It's not unusual for writers to feel stressed by writing, but it's always worth looking into the individual "why" to see if it's something you can address. If you're writing to meet a deadline, for example, that's going to be a little bit stressful. If you're writing something complex or emotionally taxing, that's probably going to be a bit stressful, too. In those cases, there may not be a lot you can do to totally eliminate the stress (deadlines are deadlines, and complex/taxing stuff is what it is), but you can do things to mitigate the stress--like relaxation techniques, proper time management, and exercising good self-care. But what about the times when you're not up against a deadline, or what you're writing isn't particularly taxing? Why would writing be stressful then? Sometimes it's because of the pressure we put on ourselves to write... arbitrary deadlines, unrealistic word counts, unreasonable expectations given available writing time... and the thing is, when we mentally beat ourselves up for failing to meet arbitrary deadlines, unrealistic word counts, and unreasonable expectations, we're training our brain to see writing as a stressful activity. And our brains are hard-wired to want to avoid things that feel stressful, which is why--if writing feels stressful--we end up stuck in some way. So, it's really, REALLY important to do what you can to de-stress writing for yourself. Use arbitrary guidelines as motivation, but be gentle with yourself if you blow past them. Use time blocking or other time management methods to determine how much writing time you actually have available in a given day, week, or month, and set word count goals accordingly--but give yourself grace if you fall short on a particular day or during a particular week. Use word sprints during free time to try to catch up. Also: practice good self-care and do things before and during your writing sessions to make them more peaceful--take a walk, do yoga, meditate, put on soft music, drink some lemon water, etc.

Do Writers Enjoy Reading Their Work the Same Way Readers Do?

Part of what readers enjoy about stories are the surprises held by the characters, world, and plot. We love seeing how characters grow and change, or do things that surprise us. We love learning things about these new settings and worlds. And we love turning the pages to find out answers to our burning questions. But as writers, there are no surprises and unanswered questions. So, in that way, our experience when reading our own work is fundamentally different than that of a reader who is reading it for the first time.

But, as readers we also love to reread the stories we love. Sometimes we can glean new information from a reread, but often we just love to revisit the characters, world, and story. Even if there are no surprises because we already know everything that's going to happen, there's still something enjoyable--and sometimes even comforting--about returning to familiar stories. So, on that level, writers can enjoy their own writing in a similar way to their readers, especially when revisiting a story months or years after we wrote it.

Having said that, there are some writers who do not enjoy reading their own writing, ever. Sort of like there are some actors who can't watch movies or TV shows they were in. For some of us, once that creative work is finished, we put it behind us and don't want or need to experience it again, and that's okay, too. Everyone is different.

So, if you enjoy reading the stories you wrote, that's great, and you can feel free to embrace that! If you don't enjoy reading the stories you wrote, that's okay, too. ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[nickfowlerrr]

Bella !! I just realized I submitted a req to the wrong acc 😭😭 by any chance—are you up to writing Drabbles or request for your PWYC series? I just reread it and omg I very much miss our dirty rough and tough biker Bucky ✨😭 anyways! Here is my silly lil request:

Imagine this: reader stumbles across a specific kink, (praise kink, daddy kink, degradation kink, knife kink, chase kink, whatever one you can come up with!) but she’s too nervous to bring it up to Bucky! Though, she forgets that Bucky can feel/sense her emotions through the ✨soulmate bond✨. When Bucky figures it out—he’s a lil pissed/sad that his pretty girl didn’t just tell him. So—he starts to do little things to trigger her new secret kink. He just can’t help it! He loves the way she blushes (when he calls her good girl, does shit with knives, you get it!) But suddenly Bucky can’t take it anymore—he pounces! Next thing ya know our lovely pair of soulmates are screwing!

I know it’s a bit long but I just desperately love this series ! Keep up the great work lovie!! ~🐰🎀

the thrill of it all

pretty when you cry series masterlist

pairing: pwyc!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: 18+ ONLY. smut. chase kink, choking, primal play-ish?. probably forgetting stuff, please let me know if you come across something that should be added.

words: 5.5k

notes: thank you for sending this in, and sorry it took ages. it’s not exactly what you asked for 😓 but i hope you enjoy it! 🖤🖤🖤 i didn’t reread this bc i’m about to pass out but i promised i’d post it tonight so it’s going up rn and i’ll go over it tomorrow to fix anything i think needs fixing lol. fingers crossed it’s cohesive 💀 as always, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated! thank you for reading.

Getting home from the grocery store, you were surprised to find your laptop sitting half open on the table in the kitchen. You remembered you’d been reading on it this morning as you ate breakfast, but you could have sworn you’d shut it when you left. You set the bags down and went to the table, opening the computer the rest of the way. It was still on the story you had been reading earlier and you felt yourself warm up not only at the idea that you left it open so carelessly, but also at the content itself. Smut.

A reader being chased through the woods by her boyfriend who also happened to be a demon. You’d had to leave before you got to the inevitable, the part where he’d stop toying with her and finally catch her. To have his way with her on the forest floor, the moonlight shining down on them as he took her apart.. You were getting flustered just thinking about it.

You’d have been mortified if Bucky had seen it and you were grateful he wasn’t home to have stumbled upon your latest reading material.

It was so…kinky. And you hadn’t talked to him about any of your new self discoveries or ‘interests’ so to speak. You hated it but you were truthfully a little ashamed. Embarrassed. You knew it’d probably be in your best interest to talk to him about it, but you kept talking yourself out of doing so. Convinced yourself that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Though if it wasn’t, why were you so concerned with keeping your fantasies to yourself. If you knew Bucky, you knew he’d want to help you fulfill any fantasy that crossed your pretty little mind, but still the thought of having to bring it up yourself was just too daunting. You were fine just reading your kinky erotica and not having to ask Bucky to act it out with you. Really. Though your occasional daydream about doing just that was popping up more and more frequently, you didn’t bring it up. How weird would it be to tell him you essentially wanted him to hunt you, chase you, pin you down and just completely ravish you…God, the thought of it was getting you hot all over again.

You had closed your laptop and set it aside as you started taking the groceries out of their bags and putting them away. Your eyes went wide as you heard Bucky’s footsteps, the ones you only heard when he wanted you to, coming down the stairs. How long had he been home? And did he happen to have come into the kitchen..did he open your laptop? Immediately you worried that he had at the very least looked at it. You swallowed hard but kept focused on your task, putting the food away where it belonged. You would just wait and see if he said anything, no way you’d bring it up first and make yourself seem suspicious. He came into the kitchen without a word and leaned back against the counter as he watched you put the last few items away, his arms crossed over his wellbuilt chest.

“Hey,” you greeted, throwing him a quick glance over your shoulder. “Thought you said you had a meeting with Stark today?”

“Something came up, we had to reschedule.”

“Oh. So, when’d you get home?” you asked, hoping you sounded nonchalant.

“Not that long ago,” he answered vaguely. You narrowed your eyes at his avoidance of a real answer before you turned around to look at him.

“I didn’t see your bike when I pulled in,” you alluded.

“It’s in the garage. I’m about to give it a tune up.” He kept his eyes on you, his gaze heavy and slightly unnerving. You hummed in response as you stared back, trying to suss out why he was being so weird. There, of course, was an obvious answer, but you wished he’d just come out and tell you what he was thinking.

“You left your laptop down here,” he said, nodding in the direction of where it laid on the table.

“I saw. Did you..were you on it?” you asked, again trying to sound like you didn’t care one way or the other.

He shook his head vaguely as he rubbed the stubble along his jaw.

“Just saw it when I came in earlier,”

You subconsciously let out a breath of relief, nodding at him.

“Why?” he questioned, his eyes never leaving you, even as you looked down. “You hiding something from me, sweetheart?”

Your eyes shot up again at his question. “What?” you laughed nervously. “No.”

He pushed off the counter and started to walk toward you as you stayed in your spot and watched him.

“Good,” he said as he got closer, closing the distance between you. His hands came up to cup your face, taking you by surprise as he suddenly pulled you in for a fervent kiss, eventually breaking it to look you in the eyes again. He kept your face in his hands, forcing you to hold his gaze as your hands found his wrists. “I don’t want you keeping anything from me, got it?”

You swallowed hard before you nodded lightly.

“Got it,” you breathed.

He looked at you a moment longer, his thumbs brushing the soft skin of your cheeks gently before he slipped away. His gaze was even more heated now and you had a renewed sense that he was clearly lying when he said he hadn’t been on your laptop. Why else would he have been acting so weird? Telling you not to keep things from him. He had to have seen something.

You weren’t sure why you were so embarrassed by him finding out about your newly realized kink, but you were. Bucky had seen you at your most vulnerable countless times at this point, in as many compromising positions as you could think of. But you’d never really been entirely comfortable talking about or asking for specific things from him when it came to sex. He certainly loved when you were vocal, crying for him, and he loved hearing you ask him for exactly what you wanted, but you were usually forced to verbalize those things lest he just continue torturing you with tantalizing but unfulfilling touches until you used your words, face hot even as your neediness tried to overpower your mortification. You were still relatively inexperienced and even morso when it came to the kinker side of being intimate.

You really never even thought of yourself as kinky, but since Bucky, you couldn’t deny the dirty thoughts that would run through your head, or the tags you’d go searching through when you’d look for new erotica to read.

You knew in reality that Bucky would love it if you came to him with ideas for things you’d want to try with him, but you just couldn’t get past the embarrassment to bring it up. Hell, you’d only very recently started to even just initiate sex with him and that took a helluva lot to get comfortable with.

It took constant reassurance from Bucky that any time you found yourself getting worked up for him, all you had to do was let him know. Weeks of finding yourself flustered and wanting when you’d catch him working on his bike or on a car in the garage… in the kitchen cooking dinner for you… even just cuddling you tight on the couch... or fresh out of the shower as he was getting ready.. You often forgot he could so easily tell when you were turned on. He could feel the way your heart would flutter and the change in your breathing. He’d shoot you a cocky smirk and you’d go wide eyed and make yourself scarce before he could really call you out on it.

Though half the time he’d catch you before you could get far and you’d find yourself naked and full of him in no time at all, always ending the night with him reminding you that anytime you wanted him all you had to do was ask. It took awhile for you to do so uninhibited, but when he finally pleaded for you to just tell him, you realized not only how badly he needed you to, but also how freeing it felt to not stifle your need for him, either.

That day had been a big eye opener for you, and you thought back on it in vivid and arousing detail as you stood in the kitchen. That was the day you’d realized exactly what it was that got you so worked up. It hadn’t been the first time you’d felt cornered or caught by him, but it suddenly clicked that that was what made certain memories stand out in your mind when you thought back on the most memorable times you’d been intimate with Bucky.

The uninhibited passion. Raw desire for one another. The possession. The chase.

He’d just gotten out of the shower and you were admiring his form as he walked toward the closet while you were folding your laundry across the room. The way his muscles flexed as he moved, looking through his shirts for something to put on, was distracting to say the least. All of him was distracting. He was just so beautiful. You knew you were staring, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. That was until you were pulled out of your head by his blue eyes shooting to you as he turned around suddenly. You quickly looked away and finished putting your panties in your drawer before you took the empty basket and made to leave the room. You avoided his eye as he neared you, trying to just go get the next load of your clothes from the dryer and act like you weren’t just ogling him and longing for his attention. He got closer still and stepped right in front of you, blocking you from moving. You took a step back as you found the nerve to look up at him. His eyes were set on you and you couldn’t look away from his heated gaze. You tried to move around him, but he moved insync with you, continuing to block your way. You huffed before trying again, but he followed your steps and this time took the basket from your hands as he threw it to the side. You were taken aback at the swift action, and froze as he took a step closer.

“What are you doing?” you tutted.

He didn’t answer and only took another step toward you, as you took one back. You felt cornered. You felt like prey. You eyed the door and narrowed your eyes at him before you made to run for it. It was futile, you knew it would be, but you screamed none the less as he took you off your feet, grabbing you by your waist and pulling you back against his chest. His lips were near your ear as he spoke, “Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?”

You couldn’t keep yourself from leaning back into his warmth as you placed your hands over his still holding you. You wanted him even more now, the thrill adding to the desire that was already there. He spun you around and pushed you up against the wall. His eyes were filled with desire, much the same as yours, you were sure.

“Need you to tell me you want me, princess. I need to hear it, I need to hear you say it.” He nuzzled against you as he spoke, keeping you pinned against the wall of your shared bedroom, nothing but his towel on as he stood before you. You nodded softly against him in turn.

“I want you,” you whispered before repeating yourself with more confidence, assuring him, “I want you. Right now.”

He crashed his lips against yours, his hunger for you evident in his kiss. He was going to devour you and you longed for nothing more as he kept you caged against the wall. You continued making out as Bucky pulled at you and removed your clothes in a fit, like he couldn’t get you bare to him fast enough.

He lifted you up and you instinctively wrapped your thick legs around him, your arms winding behind his neck. He carried you effortlessly to the bed where you spent the rest of your afternoon, completely consumed by him.

From then on, you'd made more of an effort in initiating things, and it was nice, you couldn’t lie. Owning your desires and letting Bucky know when you were feeling frisky was kind of empowering. You just weren’t sure you were ready to own and speak aloud your kinkier desires just yet. You were still learning and exploring what you liked on your own, and though you’d occasionally consider talking to Bucky about some of these things, you’d always get shy and end up too nervous to bring it up.

You found yourself almost hoping that he had seen what you were reading and that he’d bring it up so you wouldn’t have to. It wasn’t the most mature way to go about things, but at least you’d get it over with sooner and stop feeling like a teenager trying to hide porn from their parents.

Bucky didn’t make the connection right away. Sure, he’d noticed you would get more turned on when he’d corner you and cage you in, and the times you’d try to avoid him and put on a little game of cat and mouse, you would be damn near dripping for him when he’d finally get his hands on you. But he hadn’t ever put two and two together. It wasn’t until he stumbled upon your laptop you’d left in the kitchen. Was it an invasion of privacy? Maybe. But he was curious as to what you had been doing on it. You’d been glued to the screen all of last night until he was finally getting into bed. Your laptop had snapped shut and you set it on your bedside table in a flash like you’d been waiting for him all night. You crawled over to him the second he sat on the edge of the bed and he was pleasantly surprised when you looked up at him, lust swimming in your eyes as you tentatively moved to palm him through his sweats. He raised an eyebrow at you, his lips parting, but didn’t say anything as he leaned further back onto the bed. You pulled down on the top of his pants and he helped you get them down just enough for his cock to slip out past the waistband.

You wasted no time and took him into your mouth right away, moaning as you felt him stiffen further in your mouth. You took your time pleasuring him, bobbing up and down while twirling your tongue around his length as best you could, his hand fisted in your hair and grunts and curses were falling freely from his lips as you sucked. He almost came before he pulled you off of him and you gave him a pout at the loss, wiping some of the spit off your lips as you looked up at him.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he panted. “Where the hell did that come from? Not that I’m complaining,” he smirked dopily.

You shrugged as you stared up at him, “Just want you.” Your words brought a proud smile to his face and with that he pulled you up and smashed his lips to yours, meanwhile you shimmied off your shorts and panties as quickly as you could while he held you to him.

You were near insatiable last night and he knew whatever it was you’d been doing on your laptop had something to do with it. He could sense you getting flustered even before he’d entered the room, your heart racing faster, a sense of anticipation and excitement taking over you. He’d let it go the first time he noticed, got more curious the second, but after last night, he decided he needed to see what it was that was getting you so worked up, since he knew you wouldn’t be the one to tell him.

It was really just a coincidence that Stark had to reschedule the meeting they had set and he got home early. But one that worked in his favor. You weren’t home and your laptop was just sitting there, like it was begging him to take a look at what was on your screen. It was closed, sure, but easy enough to open.

He typed in the password he knew you used for everything and got in on the first try.

His eyes scanned the text on the screen, trying to get a sense of what exactly you’d been reading. There was another tab open and when he clicked on it, he was brought to a blog page. Your blog page apparently. All the posts were story after erotic story. Just reading the warnings some of them had he quickly realized these were what had been getting you so hot.

There were a lot of kinks littered along your page, but the one that stood out the most was the chase kink. It also appeared the most. And when he thought about it, he wasn’t surprised in the least. Though he was a little disappointed that you felt the need to keep it from him. He was always happy to get kinky with you, and now knowing what you were into, it gave him a few ideas. If you weren’t going to come out and tell him, he’d just get it out of you himself.

He went back to the tab your laptop had been on and sent himself the link to what you’d been reading. He shut the screen but didn’t close it completely as he was distracted by pulling up the page on his phone. He went upstairs to give it a read and figure out what he wanted to do with this new information.

Bucky had been outside working on his bike before he went upstairs for a shower. You had been in the kitchen baking pumpkin bread, making loaf after loaf until the can of pumpkin puree was empty. You figured you could take one to Eva, and maybe bring a couple to the shop for everyone, too. You’d figure it out later, you just wanted to finish up baking them. You were so caught up in mixing the last batch of batter that you didn’t even notice Bucky enter the kitchen until you turned around to grab your wisk, yelping at his unexpected appearance. You placed your hand over your heart as if it would help settle the beating as you steadied your breath.

“Jesus christ, Bucky, why do you do that?” you admonished. He smirked in response.

“You look so cute when you’re all helpless and scared, I can’t help myself.”

You swallowed hard and felt your face grow warm at his words, turning back around to combine the dry ingredients into the wet.

“‘M not helpless,” you argued.

He was behind you in an instant, you gasped at his metal hand on your throat forcing your head back so you could look up at him, eyes wide.

“Aren’t you?” he leered down at you. “Don’t you wanna be? You’ve been keeping secrets from me, pretty girl?” he purred in your ear. “You should know by now I’m always gonna find out what’s going on with you.” You whined pathetically as he tightened his hand around your neck, pulling you closer as he leaned down, your breathing shallow as he kissed your lips, taking advantage of your lips parting again as he flexed his fingers around your throat once more, slipping his tongue inside the warmth of your mouth.

You reached up and grabbed his hair, trying to pull him even closer. His hand slipped from around your neck and slid down your chest, groping your breasts as he breathed into you. His hand drifted lower and made its way under your dress, cold metal grazing the soft skin of your thighs, sending chills up your spine. You moaned into his mouth as he began rubbing at your clothed folds. The sound of the timer going off on the oven made you jump, but Bucky held your waist tight as you reclined into him, his lips moving to your cheek as you breathed deeply.

“I have to get that out,” you breathed as you pushed his hands away from you, reaching for the oven mits before you turned toward the oven. Bucky blocked your way and fixed you with a look.

“Ah-ah,” he tutted. “You’re not gonna get out of this, so might as well talk.”

“Get out of what?” you said, playing dumb. “It’s gonna burn, Bucky, I need to take it out,” you whined.

He turned and opened the oven door, grabbing the loaf pan with his hand.

“Buck,” you gasped before realizing he was using his left hand. “God,” you muttered, shaking your head.

“Worried about me hurting myself, sweetheart?” he teased as he set the pan down on the stove.

“I have to finish this,” you avoided, gesturing to the batter still sitting in the mixing bowl.

“Oh, don’t you worry, princess. We’ll definitely finish this,” he said. You looked up at him from the bowl, biting the side of your tongue in your mouth as he left the room

It was almost two hours later when you’d taken the last loaf out of the oven, the dishes washed and the cooled loaves wrapped, packed, and stored away to give out tomorrow.

You washed your hands, grabbed the load of towels you’d washed earlier from the dryer and headed upstairs.

You entered the bedroom and didn’t find Bucky, but you didn’t think much of it as you went to the bathroom to put the towels where they belong in the cabinet.

As you were on your knees, sliding the folded towels onto the lower shelves, the lights in the bathroom went off.

You bristled at the loss of light and called out into the room, “I’m in here, Bucky!”

No response. You rolled your eyes and got up with a huff. The light switches were by the door leading from the bedroom to the bath so you had to walk across the room to switch them back on. You were stopped in your path as you saw a figure standing across from you in the dark. You screamed in fear at the sight, stumbling back on instinct before your rational mind came back into play.

“Fucking hell, Bucky! It’s not funny,” you cursed. He stayed silent, his face still concealed by the dark, as he took a step to you. You stayed still, breathing heavy as you tried to discern him in the darkness. You pushed past him and got to the door of the toilet, flicking on the switch in there, giving you enough light to see Bucky now.

He kept inching closer and you kept backing away, eyeing him warily. His continued silence was perturbing and the look in his eye was intense and sure.

Every step he took, deliberate. Methodical. Like he was leading you into a trap of some kind.

“Bucky..What are you doing?” you asked. “You’re freaking me out.”

As you made your way back into the bedroom, you realized he had turned the lights off in there, too. “Can you say something, please?!” you snapped. You hadn’t been looking where you were going, and even if you had the light from the bathroom wasn’t giving much of any illumination that far into the bedroom. You tripped over something and only barely caught yourself from falling back on your ass.

“Better watch your step, sweetheart. You’ve read enough scenes like this, I’m sure you know how it goes. One wrong move and it's over. And you wouldn't want it to be over so soon, where's the thrill in that?”

You didn’t know how to respond. You had been pretty sure he’d seen your laptop, but now knowing he really had, you didn’t know what to feel. Though you were thoroughly embarrassed, you were also relieved. And growing more and more excited… He knew and he was playing into it for you already. And he was doing a damn good job, too.

He was nearly on top of you now, backing you into the closed door of your room. You felt that familiar thrill come over you. Your heart picked up speed and you were sure he could tell how aroused you were getting at his predatory gaze.

“Now we both know I can catch you in a heartbeat, so I'm gonna be nice and give you a little head start,”

“What are you-”

“If I were you, princess,” he said as he got closer, your back flush against the door, “I’d run.”

You turned quickly and threw the door open, cursing at the darkness encompassing the whole house. The only light afforded to you were the small night lights at either end of the hall and the candles still burning in the living room down the stairs. As fast as you could without falling, you hurried down the stairs, Bucky’s voice counting down from ten sounding from the bedroom.

You didn’t really think through where you were going, you just went. Instead of heading to the living room, you headed down the hall across from it. You were walking slowly, desperate not to hit your toe on a corner or walk into a wall, the hall pitch black, no lights left on. When you got to the doors leading to the den Bucky mainly used as his office, you saw light coming from inside.

“Boo,” he whispered in your ear just as you moved to reach the handle. You jumped at his voice so close and when you were suddenly pulled back into him, being lifted off your feet as he carried you away from the door, a la texas chainsaw massacre, you shrieked in fear.

“That’s the best you can do? I thought you wanted a chase, pretty girl. Didn’t even try to make it outside. No one else out here but us,” he mused. “Noone’ll hear you scream.”

You were thrashing against him, pushing at his arms, trying with no avail to get him to drop his hold, whimpering as he only tightened his arms around you.

“Mmm,” he hummed against you. “There’s always next time.” He changed his hold on you, lifting your legs into his left arm, holding your back up with his right, essentially cradling you in his arms. You tried to wiggle out of his hold, but he just threw you over his shoulder instead, slapping your ass as he took you to the living room, dropping you unceremoniously onto the couch. The light from the candles glowing and allowing you to see him as he pulled his shirt over his head. The clinking of his belt and the sound of his zipper filled the air as he removed his jeans before he straddled you. You were breathing shallow and you knew you were dripping for him by now as he leaned his face into yours and took your lips into his own, gently nipping your bottom lip before he drifted to your neck. His arms went under you and pulled the zip of your dress down, getting it as much off of you without your assistance as he could. He was impatient and decided to just tear it the rest of the way down the seam as you gasped.

“I’ll get you a new one,” he gruffed as he pulled the sleeves off your arms and threw the dress to the wayside. “You’d forgone a bra, granting him access to your heavy breasts the moment he got the dress off you. His lips descendeded on your pert nipple, his hand squezzing your breast as he pulled and tugged at your other nipple.

“Buck,” you moaned, your hands flitting through his hair, his stubble tickling your sensitive skin. You spread your legs around him and he ground down against you, his hard length throbbing through his underwear. You tugged at his boxers before he pulled away from you to get them down the rest of the way. He tore your own off and before you could complain, kissed your sweet spot and murmured, “Sorry, princess.”

His lips traveled back up your neck before landing on your lips again, tasting you as you parted your mouth for him, wrapping your leg around his waist and whining at the lack of contact you felt.

“Tell me what you want,” he said. You huffed in annoyance but knew you’d have to answer to get what you wanted.

“Want you to fuck me,” you pleaded.

“Whatever you say,” he smiled against your skin.

He took his cock in his hand and ran his tip along your wet slit, spreading your slick around and rubbing himself against your puffy clit, eliciting a moan from you. He teased you for a bit before he slid his tip inside of you. Your eyes closed in pleasure. “Feel good, baby?” he asked.

You nodded fervently as his lips returned to your neck. “More,” you pleaded, your fingers pulling at his hair. He pushed further into you and groaned at the feeling of your silky walls gripping him tight. He rolled his hips against you, setting a rhythm as he rocked into you repeatedly. His cock was rubbing against you in the most delicious way and he was stimulating your clit with his every move. Moans falling from you both as he fucked into you. His hand found your hip as he held you down into the couch, thrusting up into you harsher and harsher the closer he got to his release. The way he was pounding into you had you sliding up the couch with each powerful thrust.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned into your ear as he held himself up above you, his rhythm faltering ever so slightly. The hand he had on your hip traveled to your clit and he expertly rolled it with perfect pressure as you cried out at the heat building hotter and hotter in your core. You felt your body tense as he slid against your g-spot repeatedly.

“Always so fucking tight, goddamnit,” he cursed, fucking you harder. You were unintelligible as you moaned and mewled at the pressure growing until you finally came undone around him. “Fuck,” he roared near your ear, burrying his face in your neck as he let himself go right after you.

You whimpered as his hips stuttered against you, your arms wrapping around him as he laid his weight down on top of you, placing soft kisses along your neck. You were breathing heavy as you ran your hands up and down his back, his weight a comfort as you shut your eyes.

Bucky pulled out of you gently, grabbing tissues off the coffee table to clean you and himself. He sat back on the couch and pulled you against him, kissing your head.

“I need you to know, sweetheart. You don’t need to keep anything from me. Ever. Especially stuff like this. I just want to make you happy. I want to make you feel good.”

“I know,” you murmured. “You know you’re the only person I've ever been with. I just - I didn't know how to approach it. I guess really I was just embarrassed. Maybe a little ashamed. I’d never..even thought about any of this stuff,” you laughed nervously. “It feels..dirty?”

“It’s a kink, princess. They’re pretty common. You’re not fucked up for wanting to be chased around before you fuck. It’s just a turn on, doesn’t say anything about your morality.”

You leaned your head against him as he rubbed your arm.

“You come across any other kinks you wanna try, you just let me know. You know I’ll do anything for you, pretty girl.”

You smiled softly at that. You knew he would, but it was always nice to hear him remind you of that fact.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

He tilted your chin up so you were looking at him. “I love you,” he told you, leaning down to kiss you softly.

“That was pretty hot,” he said when he pulled away. “We’re definitely going outside next time.” You couldn’t help but smile, a small laugh leaving your lips as you looked at him. “I love you,” you replied, hand coming up to stroke his cheek. “‘M tired,” you mumbled. He lifted you up as effortlessly as ever and moved to carry you up the stairs.

“If you drop me, I swear to god,” you warned him, earning a laugh in return.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.”

[pieroulette]

#007. serendipity ▶ koga yudai.

one word prompt.

warning: bittersweet angsty oneshot ig, mentions of depression and anything related to that so please read with discretion.

a/n: not sure how this turn out to be quite lengthy, it should've been a drabble but anyways 🤸

"SERENDIPITY."

they say, that wonderful or good things happen when you least expected them to. refraining from actively seeking them out leads you to a better solitude, less expectation and a fulfilled life rather than frantically chasing after them. but what is there to life if you will only wait for good things to happen?

isn't it better for you take the lead, take charge of your own life, lift your pair of feet to achieve each imaginary moment you desire?

or was it simply that you couldn't understand the word despite rereading the explanation since a few hours ago?

you couldn't understand. but what right do you even have when you couldn't even push yourself off the chair, to a life you desire? a simple contradiction, or maybe a hypocrite you call yourself.

you knew what was needed to be done, but there remains no energy left in you for you to execute each meaning in this particular word.

"tell me a new word, again?"

the golden rays drenching over the green board, blending with the white dust chalk engraved on them gave you a rather solemn atmosphere. with the shadows of the window frame casting on the walls and desks, you never understood why you found them so terribly saddening to look at.

"serendipity," you sighed, resting the hard edge of your open book on your desk, emitting a hard thud that resonated throughout the empty classroom.

empty, almost — if it wasn't for the hazy figure floating around you, shifting its position by leaning against the wall, placing himself on the window seat—quite a funny scene for you as he didn't need to go that far when the colours of his skin weren't as vibrant as the smile on his face.

"pretty word for the first time! se-ren-di-" his lips formed each corresponding shape that perfectly enunciate each syllable, but the foreign word hasn't been completely integrated into his mind as his tongue fumbles at the end. "truly a pretty word, but there's no point in making it so long and hard to pronounce."

his pretty features contorted into an animated expressions of a thumping soul.

giggling as you shook your head at him, "each word is no accident, at least in my opinion. therefore, do your best to learn it. who knows, god up there would compliment you for your well-earned english skills and probably give you a chance to be reincarnated in another country, perhaps in london?"

well, it didn't matter which country; as long as it was far, far away from this concrete, from this land your feet are bound on for eternity, with the terrible noise of the invisible shackles wrapped around your ankles. or perhaps, it was just your mind fabricating scenarios to appease yourself, like they said.

"eh, who says i want to be reborn in a foreign country?" his eyebrows raised in disbelief, "as if kanji aren't anywhere difficult."

another amusement adorned your face, "i didn't say kanji wasn't difficult."

he shrugged in return, swaying his translucent feet in a hypnotic motion in the empty air.

"a kindergarten teacher, you say?" he snorted, "bet your future little students would cry a river for every word of the day you write on the damn board."

"well, they gotta catch up."

"cruel, i wouldn't want to be your student when i'm reborn someday."

"gotta toughen up the lil kids while early, kei."

this lost soul in his translucent body where the luminous sun rays pierce through like an arrow grew even more vibrant, making each edge of his existence breathe life into them. every now and then, you almost always forget that he was nowhere as alive as his animated expressions.

the reddish rusty pin of muted green cactus with a cartoonish art embedded on his school's jacket, right on his chest—had you initially wondering what leads to it's eventual discoloration when his neatly ironed uniform, white pair of shoes, and a well kept slicked back hair were very much a stark contrast from it.

and now that you eventually come to know about it, you'd rather not say anything.

"yeah, yeah. anyways, what does it even mean?" he gestured his index finger to the written word of 'serendipity' below the list of words you've studied.

"happy accidents." you answered, looking through the big fat dictionary on the right side of your desk to make sure. "luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for; a lucky stroke, or you could compare it with a four-leaf clover that is difficult to find but when you found it, that's serendipity."

"quite the same as meeting you on the stair that day."

"that," you averted your eyes from the dictionary to the boy, "a happy accident for you?"

"almost." he corrected, a mischievous grin reaching his pale cheeks. you scoffed at him. "watch your steps though, doesn't seem like a nice way to go."

"what if i don't watch my steps next time?" you replied, adding a tone of playfulness. but who were you even fooling?

"you would be an idiot." his pearly white teeth came into view, laughing at your choice of words. "but please, save me the trouble. let's not be born on the same day in my next life." kei shook his head, not taking the idea very well.

"why not?" you asked, curious of the intention behind his words.

"just." his lower lip jutted in a pout, "atleast wait a few years before you follow me, or even better, atleast seventy years or so."

a heavy silence replaces the conversation, followed by the sudden increase of the breeze flowing into the classroom, gracing the curtains through a dance. if the boy had a beating heart at this very moment, then it would've brush against his cheeks.

you tucked your locks beside your ear, pressing the tip of your feet slightly hard on the floor as you lean back against your chair. letting your shoulders droop down, "seventy? that's too far-fetched."

"not as far-fetched as mine, you got a long life ahead of you, why not anticipate the serendipity that will come along with each day?" kei suddenly paused, chuckling at his minor mistake. "oh wait, we shouldn't anticipate it."

"i don't think i can live that long, i do not look forward to anything.." you let out those eight words as murmurs, a sound so low it's impossible to be heard by a normal human.

but to him, he could. your voice were as clear as the blue sky, devoid of the dense clouds and heavy storm.

"is memorising your daily vocabularies, not something to look forward to?"

"they're only meant to keep me alive." you replied nonchalantly.

tap, tap, tap.

the noise emitting from the tip of your pen resonated through the empty room, forming a calming atmosphere for you as it resembled a thumping heart; where the boy on the window seat had none of that, and while you, despite having it—

"you know," kei shifted his position his back rested on the wall slightly, lifting his left leg up in a leisure manner. "my mom used to cook me a meal whenever i'd go for dance practice, but they weren't that healthy enough to keep me fit for it, you see."

you lifted your heavy eyes at him, "so you threw it away?"

"i gave it to someone else." kei corrected, "but it's not like i don't want to eat it, i do want to eat it. just, not yet."

you nodded, humming along. imagining a scenario where you put yourself in his shoes, wondering how it was to roamed around about everywhere as a translucent being, left with remnants of the past, a beating heart, and a starving soul—yet unable to fed oneself for eternal.

"—now i couldn't eat them anymore, all because of a damn reckless driver." kei's pupils remain stuck, and yet still he blinks, even when he knows it's all too useless to even do so. but atleast, it still provide him the comfort that he was once alive, that he had left his footprints somewhere else even if it was bound to covered by almost anything. "it was a happy day, skipping school just to get to the place where the audition was held, that doesn't seem like a happy accident at all, isn't? or maybe it was a conjunction, the word you taught me for the first time!"

you tilted your head at him, a glimpse through your memories where your figure were laying on cold surface of the rooftop, and him sitting beside with you with his legs apart as if he had no care in the world yet with his head looking up above the sky as if he was hoping, wishing, or more specifically—longing for something. a totally weird situation that follows after a tiny 'accident' down the stairs which leads up to this rooftop.

"conjunction, it is the words we used such as "and", "but", and "if". or in other words, where two or more things occured at the same time." you randomly blurted out much to the boy's initial surprise and dumbfounded expression, "this, our situation, you and i, are a conjunction of utter ridiculousness and lack of scientific evidence, also a potential symptom that i might've gone insane and that i could be sent to the nearest mental asylum in this city."

kei's face contorted in utter awkwardness, mind malfunctioning as he tries to understand your barrage of words. "i don't have any heck the slightest idea you're talking about, miss." and with a random afterthought, he added. "i love to dance, though.. hm, the name is kei, by the way. what's yours?"

a ghost asking you for your name sounds too comical, you've always thought that they automatically knew your name through some random articles, newspapers, gossips from your peers, and the myth circulating around the kids in your neighborhood.

"are you.." you frowned, "trying to be friends?"

and he simply nodded, almost exaggeratedly, with the brightest spark imbued in his marble-like eyes.

from then on, with the days following after and so on, it doesn't feel that difficult to breathe, atleast for a tad bit—with this soul of a teenage boy following you around like a lost puppy for a few days, and when he disappears for a short period, you were engulfed with fear—but what were you even fearing about?

was it because you were concerned that he might've disappeared or that a worst case scenario had happened to him? which is quite stupid despite knowing very well what he is, or perhaps you were being selfish—desiring for that poor soul to remain by your side so you won't feel lonely as you used to before?

you didn't know which route to settle your mind on, but everytime he appears back, returning to your side—not too close, but not too far, paired with his lively expressions and bustling vibe, you found your lips drifting onto a vast array of conversations but surprisingly, it was almost about anything but you and him.

as if you and him knew that it's better to not to go past the threshold where there's a big possibility, huge even, that a desire for belonging and attachment might arise. yet for some reason, today feels a bit different.

just a bit.

kei lifted both his hands for you to see, bending the rest of his fingers for his index finger to emerged, forming a 'one'. and he slowly attached them together as he speaks, "happy plus accident."

"finally you got it." you squeeze out a chuckle, although deep inside, a crawling sentiment or rather a heavy lump were emerging to the surface of your relaxed eyebrows and lips.

and despite not asking each other what drove you to do that, and what lead him to the way he is right now, the sign was all too obvious. it was as if both of you knew the answer from the very beginning the day you first met each other.

you knew very well of how he ended up the way he is right now, and that was also on the rooftop where after shortly you taught him the word—you dozed off to sleep, but not before listening to him talking about how he used to live, and how he reached the end of his dreams.

"sing," his eyes squinted at the golden sun, a reaction that simply won't deliver the same effect to him right now but out of habit, he often did so. "and dance."

observing him and his little antics, a desire to ask him a question squeezes its way out of your mouth before you could think.

"don't you hate him?"

kei paused, knowing very well who you meant. "hate who?"

"that person who took your life."

a heavy beat of silence consumed the space again as kei's eyes fluttered rather slowly, "well, having my life wasted away by some crazy bastard that chose to drive despite having his more than enough shots that day." a sigh follows after, a long and deep one. "hate is a pretty weak word. resentment? yeah. at some point, i did."

"then why don't you go possess him or something? perhaps give him a taste of his own karma? i heard those stuffs exist."

"good idea," kei hummed in approval, pressing his chin on his knuckles. "but wouldn't that cost my precious ticket to reincarnation if i became a vengeful spirit, eh?" he shrugged in a playful manner, a mischievous grew on the corners of his lips.

"you got a point.."

"didn't know you had that spirit in you," kei feigns a surprise, eyes widened in shock. "now that i look at it, you could pass off as sadako, especially with that long hair. and instead of coming out of a glitching tv, a big fat book is what you will use to horrify everyone."

another chuckle escapes your lips, "spirit? the thing is, i don't have anyone to that i could fight with, or hate." you slowly lifted your eyes to the blackboard, scanning each stroke of the kanjis. "simply nothing."

"you still have yourself, though." kei shoots a playful wink at you, only to receive an expression of playful disgust spreading over your features, "there's more good things that come along just by being by yourself."

"that sounds depressing."

it did sound very depressing, he agrees and yet he didn't need to verbally tell you that. not when his eyes could count the faint red shade of long, deep, and engraved visible marks on your left hand, peeking slightly beneath the hem of your sleeves as you rested your chin on your palms.

he could only wonder how hollow those carvings could be, and how deep it could've reach inside your soul.

"karma, or serendipity.. we can't control that though." kei said, "atleast that's what i heard from the spirits roaming around, but from what i believe in, atleast we could control how our life goes about, even if.. even if we die someday by others' hands or—"

he caught sight of a yellow balloon drifting up and about the empty air out the window, guided by the breeze of nature to a destination where one might or might not encounter it anymore. a thought run through the back of his mind that a child might've carelessly let go of the tight grip they had on the thread,

careless.

the word is all too familiar for him.

yet another thought surfaces, another different scenario; that someone, probably not a child by form, but by heart; one that longs for something—must have willingly let go of the balloon for a reason no one might ever know if they were unwilling to say, or if anyone even try to ask, or if even they did—words were discarded as mere form of exaggeration.

"by our own." another pause as he looked down at his lap for a brief second before he gathers the silent strength to look into your eyes again. "just memorize each word, each day, till you can form your own very word, okay?"

your eyes widened in inches, taking his words in, nodding your head in silence, as you pursed your lips in to blurt out any potential choke that might surface from your throat or how your insides grew warm for what seems like a long time, or how your stiff and rigid fingers relaxed on its own.

like a frozen statue in time, probably equivalent to the deadly temperature of the ice age but only you as it's tenant, it was short of nothing but quite a journey—one that's terribly bleak, and devoid of colours, by the way. the flickering lamp post from the park gaves you a spooky vibes back when you were a child, yet now, you couldn't but describe the scene as the equivalent of it staying alive.

just a bit more everyday, till it could.

but a common phrase would often drifted off to your ear, that a lamp post's job is basically that, automatically, to stand with absolute strength all while providing light for people.

because that's just how the people you believe in—had always believed about.

multiple beats of crunch resonated throughout the air as you walked across the autumn leaves decorating the entire ground of the school. october sounds like an old man in its muted orange sweater, a cane gripped by his right crumpled hand, and a pumpkin supported by a knotted rope as he walk about the town, and probably visiting the old cemetery where he wondered that he, too, might be buried beneath the same soil someday.

you wonder too.

soon enough, you were greeted with a sight of kei in the hallway, up in the third floor at the school. him, leaning his back against the wall, with his left leg supporting him and his right leg stretched all the way to the floor. his hands in his pockets which made you think if he was trying to warm them.

you almost wanted let out a hiss upon parting your lips due to the chapped and dry skin, yet you held yourself, forcing a small smile to lighten up the mood. "hey."

with him catching the sight of your presence, he fixed his posture with the same smile cutting back to his face. "ayo."

for sure you didn't expect that the next word would lead to that, despite knowing it all to well.

"it's time."

it caught you off guard even though you've prepared for it, repeated it like a broken affirmation in your head, even. despite anticipating it all along those months. a lump formed in your throat, as if the clock had slowed down the speed of this world that contains billions of lives. you've anticipated for this day, and it eventually came. it eventually did.

you wanted to say something, but what is there left to say?

"wanna go for a last walk?"

the hallway to the exit suddenly feels short than it used to be, it felt terribly long a few hours ago, a day ago, and the days that occured before this very day.

"i used to memorise these ridiculously hard dance steps in one go,"

you raised your head to look at his face, an expression you know too well to be emitting a sense of longing, pain, and disappointment.

"—but all it did was make my dance look like a barrage of trash, my dance teacher says." laughing at himself, you wondered if he really used to be like this when he was alive, or was it only a way to keep the remnants of his usual self intact.

you don't know, and you weren't sure if you want to.

"that's cruel."

"that sounds weird coming from you," he chuckled, shaking his head as he spun around to face you, walking backwards. "ah, in my next life, i want to eat more food. if i'm lucky enough to have a mother, that is. and right, i should brush up my skills in looking left and right before crossing the road, heh."

"you will." a curious question suddenly struck your mind after that, "but hey,"

"yeah?"

"how will i find you if you no longer have the same name?"

caught off guard by your question, he froze, blinking quite fast before bursting into an awkward chuckle. "you wanna find me?"

you nodded, feeling quite awkward at your random approach but you brushed it off.

"well, certainly, my name wouldn't be kei in my next life. but who knows what might happen? i don't know who would i be, what kind of person i would be.. i don't even know if i would be born here again."

a question left with no answer, and maybe it was for the best. you let the question drifted into the empty air, letting it sink it nowhere.

"ah!"

you jolted slightly at the unexpected rise of his voice, seeing him lifting his index finger as if a light bulb flickered above his head. "we could decide on a symbol maybe? like a secret code—" leaning in closer, "we could cheat the old man up there."

baffled by his idea, you weren't entirely sure how this was going to work but you nodded anyways, asking him what exactly he meant by a symbol and he replied rather in a tiny voice, "i probably wouldn't remember you, but i heard that souls bear if not all but a little resemblance and memories from their past lives, something that is important enough to them that it sticks no matter what."

you shook your head at him, saying that a symbol decided a few minutes before he departs to a place wherever he needs to reincarnate—wouldn't take an effect. at least that was how you perceive it, sighing as you kicked an empty soda can strewn on the path, momentarily hissing at whoever didn't throw it properly into the trashbin.

"but this is important though, isn't?"

hearing those words from him, you couldn't help the way a sudden warmth engulfed your heart and your eyes shifting from the floor back to him again; those eyes that held firm determination in it, just like you've always seen him ever since. "alright, what's the secret code then?"

"that one," his eyes gestured towards something, down at your side and with confusion, you followed his line of vision—leading to your bag.

"my bag?"

"no you idiot, that sticker."

an old, worn out cropped out sticker of a crown decorated on the side of your dark indigo schoolbag.

"a crown?"

"you sure this would work?" giggling at the idea of an old sticker being the secret code, you couldn't help but find it stupid—adorably stupid, that is. "how does a secret code like this would help me to meet you? what, do you wear a fat ass crown on your round tiny head someday?"

"i don't know, i have no idea." kei shrugged, pouting terribly. he, too, were skeptical of the idea. "but what's the harm in trying?"

"okay," you nodded, satisfied with his answer. "we'll see how this secret code would come to use someday."

straightening the worn out sticker on your palms, a warm smile made its way to your lips and unknowingly to you, you failed to caught the pair of eyes switching to a solemn shade.

"we're here, you don't have to follow after me now."

two pair of eyes; chocolate brown looking into yours as he paused on his tracks, leading you to do the same.

it finally has came to an end, no words exchanged, only a short goodbye paired with a brief nod leaves your lips and his, and as he spun round his heels with his back now facing you; one that you've longed to atleast embrace—you clenched your fist beneath the hem of your sleeves.

"say," kei paused on his tracks, and you—a few metres away from him, lifted your eyes only to be met with his locks almost obscuring his ones as he kept his vision fixated on the floor before eventually lifting it to look into your eyes. "do you still not agree that the day we met was a happy accident?"

your heels spun directly to his direction, epiphany settling itself in the back of your mind as you processed his words. you were unsure whether you were simply imagining that there was a glint of hope imbued within his marble-like eyes, or how his translucent hands fiddled the hems of his black worn out jacket. though, there was one thing you were sure of. "of course, meeting you was a happy accident."

the corners of his lips pulls up in a sheepish grin that pulls the strings in your heart, the locks of his hair swayed gracefully that it had you wanting to touch it. why is it reacting to the breeze? was this nothing but a mere imagination of yours?

"kei."

"hm?"

you clenched your hands as you observed your reflected figure on the glossy tiles, your shadow soaked on the wall on your right side as a result of the illuminated spherical sun set peering from the window on your left side, where the infirmary room was located; it's doors left opened.

"the next time you're reborn again, can you—" you held yourself, refraining from being selfish.

right.

good things happen when you don't actively seek out for them, for they're often more defined as gifts when they do happened.

with your lips parting, replacing it with a smile you've been longing to give to him, genuinely. "the next time we meet again, for the first time, i'll make sure to put on a smile—a genuine one."

kei's lips parted slightly, eyes softening paired with a gentle smile that adorned his lips.

"wanna grab a meal together next time, then?"

taken aback you did at his words, yet you hold yourself back from pouring your scattered thoughts of what ifs, you nodded, as clear as you can for him to get the message that you are more than willing to. devoid of words, yet those subtle gesture was more than enough for him, he was more than satisfied, pressing his lips into the biggest smile before spunning around his heels, walking off to the long hall where on the other side leads to a new life.

a new chance.

with his back facing you, he waves his arms off in long strides. "remember, one word at a time!"

and where beyond that—your first and last serendipity disintegrates into the waterfall of illuminated golden sea, now one of them—will he return as the sunrise for the years to come.

you walked off, but not before taking one last look at the exit. despite saying those words to him, you weren't entirely sure if you even believe at the whole "reincarnation" thing, if hell or heaven truly existed.

your eyes fixated solemnly on the very spot he disappeared into, you found the courage to say these words you weren't so sure would be ever granted yet you could only look forward for that day.

"see you later, kei."

the walk back to the classroom was now hollow than ever, your legs felt like it could snap at any point if it wasn't for your palms supporting you and guiding you up the stairs and across the hall, where you will now return to your seat without the spot on the window seat occupied as it used to.

yet white strokes, vibrant as snow caught your attention from your peripheral vision, and there written a sentence on the blackboard—something you've been longing to hear from someone. a chuckle, followed by a disbelief, and then a choke surfaces from your throat before you burst into tears; one that is devoid of sound as a long time habit as a child, paired with beads of sorrow yet a profound warmth imbued in them trails down your cheeks.

who could've known that a dying and flickering lamp post could only be understood by another one like it, but one that are devoid of light—an artificial light that is, it would be a pure mockery to say that when this one bears the light that surpasses all physical form and shape; a star.

like a star that keeps on burning in flames, etching it's existence above the glittered universe—that would be the perfect way to define him.

and with that, the year 97' will come to an end; autumn leaves will fade back to the original vibrant shades of verdure returning to adorn the land once again, going back and forth in a constant loop but despite that you'll try to memorise each word, one at a time, until you can form your own word.

" 誰もがさまざまな形で苦しみや幸福を経験します。

大丈夫、一日ずつやっていきましょう。

ただ生き続けるだけではありません。 ライブ。

あなた自身のための ：）"

a word with an alternate definition where you can create your own serendipity first, all while waiting for the rest to come. and even if it didn't come, atleast you still have yourself.

"goodnight for now."

end of footage. . .

#12112023

[fyonahmacnally]

20 Questions More

This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks to @casualsavant for the tag. I'm not even sure I did the first 20 Questions round, but rules be damned.

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

Well, like anything I write, I get ideas from everything around me - they come to me from dreams, something I see, from random prompts, etc. As most writers know, we are simply the vessel, it's the brain goblins that tell us what to do.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

Geez, we have so many in the Supercorp/Supergirl fandom. I'm not even sure that's a fair question. HA. I will inevitably leave someone out, but here are a few of my favorites @searidings, @jazzfordshire, @chaotic-super, @lovesastateofmind1, @innamorament0, @someoneyouloved93, @lostariels, @luthordamnvers, @thornedrose44, and @fazedlight. I read such a variety of genres, tags, and tropes that I will give almost anything a chance so the authors I read will vary. There's oh so many to choose from in this fandom and the vast talent is beyond imagination!

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

Hmmm, I like writing Sam, Andrea, and Jack. The rest of the main cast is fun too, but those three characters are fun to explore in fics. The shenanigans they get into together makes it easy to play with.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

Karamel, Lames, and Kalex. I am pretty open-minded, but those are my hard limit ships. To each their own. It's not my thing at all. I'm pretty open to tropes, too. Haven't had a chance to explore too many yet.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

I'm not sure how to answer this one, really. It can vary depending on what's going on in my life and how the idea came about.

Generally speaking, I get an idea, outline the basic premise of the story (usually in a word or google doc), do whatever research is needed (longer fics), and just start writing (or staring at the outline and empty doc). That's writing too, ask any writer. LOL

One shots tend to be more like: get idea, sit at desk thinking while blank doc stares back at me tauntingly, look out window, turn back to blank doc, write three sentences, back space all three sentences, look out window again, write three more sentences, repeat previous steps, then the brain goblins take over and suddenly it's 4 hours later, somehow there's several thousand words staring back at me.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

Because I am a huge nerd, the research. I love to research the things I write. Not all of my stories require it, but when they do, I dive right in. Completing the story is a big one too. The anxiety and excitement that comes with yeeting something into the ether is indescribable.

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

Weirdest thing...pagan rituals and ancient runes or bondage/fetish clubs in Amsterdam. There is some really interesting things out there. I learned a lot during that time.

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

I think tense is one that slips on me. I try to catch them all during rereads and edits, but those little bastards are sneaky.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

The panic attacks and abuse scenes relating to Lena in Carterhaugh-Wood Academy (CWA). Lena is my absolute favorite character and writing anything that causes her harm hurts my soul.

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

Is water wet? My characters always do what the brain goblins want despite my initial protest. I am just here to convey the message, after all.

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

Oh, hands down, Lena. I wouldn't pass up a chance to speak with any of them, let's be real, but Lena would be #1.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

I am by nature a fluff and happy-ending writer. However, I am working on an angst with a happy ending fic at the moment. The tropes I have written so far have been limited to friends to lovers and a little light angst with happy ending. I'm still exploring other things. Hopefully 2024 will be the year I can flex my writing muscles and expand into new territory.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

Friends and other writers. Nothing beats a good brainstorming session with writer pals. I also like to do improv writing to boost creativity. You never know where a story will go when that happens.

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

The strategy depends on the story. For longer fics, I have a few writer friends that help with reading over it and helping with typos, grammar errors, and helping fluff up the places that need it. For one shots or shorter fics, I will let it sit for a bit, go back and read it again to do the editing and rewrite the places that my brain doesn't like.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

Oooof, definitely the posting anxiety. I usually immediately find something else to do so I don't obsess over it.

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

Hits, kudos, and comments are always fun and rewarding, but I write for my own enjoyment and sanity. I have plenty of fics that barely get any love, but I enjoy writing them. It's therapeutic for me. The rest is just noise. Also, like any writer, I love to hear from readers and try to respond to all my comments because they mean a lot to me.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

Sometimes, yes. It depends on what I am writing and how I am feeling. Most of the time it is instrumental piano and/or cello music because I will start accidentally typing the lyrics of a regular playlist. If I am going for a specific vibe or writing because of a specific song, I will have the song on repeat or at least an album by the artist.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

SCBB delivered that on a platter for me. CWA got art from the multi-talented @bigmammallama5. If you haven't seen it, you can check it out here.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

13 total with another one that is in the planning stages.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

Write for yourself. If you love it, it brings you enjoyment, and adds to your life, continue doing it. You're not going to please everyone and there will be people who are less than kind about something you publish. Those voices don't matter. There is someone out there that has read or will read your work and it will stick with them for the rest of their lives. Always do it for you.

Tagging but no pressure: @lovesastateofmind1 @casualkoalatea @fabulousglitch and @sssammich

[ex0rin]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @hiddenxplaces-blog & @the-ravening 😘

How many works do you have on ao3? at the moment? 192

What's your total ao3 word count? 668,102

What fandoms do you write for? currently it's all The Walking Dead all the time but in recent memory we're looking at The Boys (AND The Boys RPF 😅) and MCU (winterbones specifically)

Top five fics by kudos: stoking at the fire for you (The Witcher) sing them songs of me (The Witcher, geraskier) just one more (The Witcher, geraskier) steady, steady (The Witcher, geraskier) unexpected, not unwelcome (TFATWS, winterbaron)

Do you respond to comments? i swear I SWEAR i try 🙃 (i'm so good at catching up and then Febuwhump happens and i fall behind trying to stay on top of the monthly challenge AND THEN by like November i've caught up again) (also i have the TERRIBLE tendency to stop responding once i'm out of a fandom BUT I SWEAR i read them all and sob quietly to myself on days where things are exhausting so please take this as a huge I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤️)

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? brb hitting the hurt no comfort tag and figuring out what the 'worst' one was… you know what, it was we'll be a fine line (Top Gun, roosmav) - still one of my fave fics tbh, it covers the time between the first movie and where we pick up with Rooster being PISSED at Mav for pulling his papers

OR hell, if i ever could stomach to edit it, i think elbow deep (The Walking Dead, cegan) would count for this - it's almost finished i swear, just need to walk away from it after every paragraph rn

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? for who? i'd say 'till the end of the line where Bucky finally leaves Steve because they're just incompatible after all that time and trauma

Do you get hate on fics? i've gotten a bit but that's just the nature of writing non-con and/ or hurt no comfort 😅

Do you write smut? do i write anything else is the actual question haha

Craziest crossover: i… i don't crossover unless you count RPF where the actors are playing their characters to bang (i assume this doesn't count but it's as close as i get)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? yep! hilariously it was my Watcher Entertainment RPF stuff

Have you ever had a fic translated? maybe? i'm honestly not sure

Have you ever co-written a fic before? i have! a few times! honourable mentions are hold you by the edges (Watcher, limadej) with @sequencefairy (which i still reread often tbh) and keep on keepin' on (Gotham, harvey/jim) with @ponderosa121 (also a SOLID reread)

All time favorite ship? this is unfair - it absolutely depends on the brainrot at any give time. if you're asking me RIGHT NOW it's cegan, no question but like…. three months ago? who knows

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? too many to count - there's a few i think about occasionally as like a nice memory of things that could have been but the thing I WISH i would get to finish is my RP with @sparklingbinjuice which i still hope we fall back into sometimes (but both of our attention is elsewhere at the moment)

What are your writing strengths? smut and run-on sentences 😂

What are your writing weaknesses? plot and punctuation (who needs a period when you have ; and -)

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? i used to be like FUCK IT WE SPEAK RUSSIAN but i cringe when i look back on those times (and have flashbacks to writing Japanese into Gundam Wing fic in highschool) which is to say, to each their own but if i can't speak it fluently or have a friend who does who can edit, i try not to include it in my own work

First fandom you wrote in? technically it was a sweet little Luke/OC insert from Star Wars circa, ohhhhh uh, early 90s but the first fandom i fell into a spiral about is going to be Gundam Wing FOR SURE (gimme that 1x5 please and thank you, strawberries are so sweet you know?)

Favorite fic you've written? this is also unfair - it's the unnamed one in my head that i rant to Abby about while i'm drunk at 4am thanks

zero pressure tagging: @sparklingbinjuice @duchessonfire @dcmonblood @unlikelymilliner (miss you ❤️) @sequencefairy

[justmeinadaze]

Unattainable Part IX (Eddie X Theater Girl)

A/N: I genuinely took my time with this one. Not that I don't with the other stuff I write but lol I think I read and reread this a billion and one times.

Warnings: *holds up hands dramatically* TIS TIME! Loss of Virginity for my beautiful theater girl. Eddie is sweet and adorable (as always). Some scenes of her past memories, slight trauma triggers but nothing too dramatic.

Word Count: 3900

“Eddie! Oh my god. You should just ask for more fries!” I giggle as he reaches over to steal a fry for the second time from my basket of food. 

I had been staying at the Munson residence for a couple of days now. My dad never tried to call back and my mother never came looking for me. Wayne asked if I would feel comfortable with him driving to my house to explain to her that I was safe. 

“Pfft”, Eddie scoffs. “You’d be wasting your breath.”

“I wasn’t asking you, Eddie.”

I told him it was fine and when I saw him again he said that she appreciated him telling her. 

“Is…is she okay?” I ask as quietly as possible so Eddie wouldn’t hear from the bedroom. Wayne removed his cap and rubbed the top of his head.

“Physically she seems to be. I can’t imagine anyone who smells like bar floor is really ok.” I look away guiltily. “Hey. Um, I think you two being away from each other is good for her. Maybe she’ll realize she needs to shape up; be a better mom.”

I respond with a tiny half smile. He’s way more optimistic about that then I’ll ever be. 

Eddie insisted we still get out of the Hawkins for the day so we got in his van and made our way up north. We stopped for lunch at this diner called “Oasis” and got two baskets of burgers and fries. After inhaling his meal, he was now trying to pick at mine. 

“But your fries are so much better. Ow!” He jumps as I lightly kick him under the table with my shoe. “Well shit. I’m not taking you to the arcade then.”

My eyes narrow in his direction as I reach for a fry and hold it in his direction. As he leans in to take it, I pull it away at the last second and take a bite. He sticks his tongue out me and I bunch up my nose to mock him. 

A few miles up from the diner is a huge arcade with wall-to-wall games to play. When we step inside it is packed with kids ranging from elementary to about our age. In the back corner there are pool tables under clouds of smoke from the patrons that were playing. There was a bar in the middle of the room where some people were sitting and watching a football game.

“I’m going to get some change. Go find a game.” He kisses my temple before he disappears. I walk along the wall looking at the selection. I stop when I see a game I used to be familiar with; Galaga. 

“Okay, baby girl, sit right here.” My dad picks me up and places me on a stool near the side of the machine. “Now watch and learn. These were the moves that got your mom to marry me.”

My mom smiles as she rolls her eyes at him. “Calm down, Danny.” She leans down near my ear and whispers loud enough so my dad can hear. “I took pity on him because he was so terrible at it.”

“Abby, stop telling our child lies.” They both laugh as he leans across me to give her a quick peck on the lips. 

 “Oh! Good choice.” Eddie comes up next to me, shaking his cup of quarters. “You want to go first?”

“Sure.” I plaster a smile on my face. He kneels, puts a few coins in, and hops onto the stool next to me. The music starts to play as the game comes to life. I try to focus on the ship as it targets the little alien bugs above it but I feel my brain start to wonder.

My dad glances over, catching my mother adjusting the watch on her wrist. 

“Got a hot date?”

“No”, my mother replies with an edge. “I was just checking the time.”

“Why? We don’t have anywhere to be.” His eyes stay on the monitor as his fingers repeatedly smash the button on the consol. 

“I do tomorrow morning. Some of us still have to work.”

Dad doesn’t say anything, choosing to focus on the task in front of him. 

“You know what? I’ll go wait by the car. Come out when you’re done.” She sighs and stomps her way out the front door. There’s the faint sound of an explosion coming from the game. My dad doesn’t move. I see his head hang for few seconds before he finally turns to me with a big grin on his face. 

“Come on, little one. Let’s go home.”

“Sweetheart?” I turn my head to the left to see Eddie is no longer sitting but hovering over me. “You okay?”

I furrow my eyebrows, sighing. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit rusty I guess.” I push at the game with my sneaker as I smile up at him. “You should go next. Show me how it’s done.” 

As I start to step aside, I feel his arms wrap around me from behind. He gently nudges me forward with his hips, taking my hands, and placing them back on the controls. He lets go only long enough to put some more money in and move my hair to one side as he rest his chin on my shoulder. The screen in front of us lights up as the level begins. With his hands guiding mine, we start to play. 

Safe. I am safe. 

“I wish you would tell me where you go.” Eddie’s voice is low in my ear. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” I joke trying to distract him but I can see in the reflection of the screen in front of me that he’s not falling for it. I feel his breath heat up my skin as he sighs. The next level begins to start.

“I can’t.”

“Because?” 

The game makes a congratulatory sound as a small cut scene plays.

Tell him. Let him know what he’s in for. Go ahead! Geez, you’re so pathetic! How do you expect to—

“My parents used to hang out at arcades when they were younger. They would sit me on a stool like this or another machine and I would just watch them play. After a while it was just me and dad going. Then it was just me.”

The ship crashes into a bug and explodes. Eddie pulls my hands off the controls and wraps my arms around my chest cocooning me against him. I turn my head to look at him. “I’m just happy to be able to create new memories here with you.”

He smiles down at me, placing a kiss on my forehead. “That is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard. Why are you so obsessed with me?” He rolls his eyes playfully as I lightly elbow him. Eddie pretends to fall letting go of one of my arms as he twists the other one making me twirl in a circle. “Come on, Sweetheart. Let’s go make some memories.”

########################################

After spending a few more hours at the arcade, it was time to head home. Halfway through our drive it had started pouring rain. When we got back to the trailer, we had to make a mad dash to the door. 

“Jesus! It’s really coming down!” Eddie shakes his hands through his hair.

“I-I-I-I am regret-t-t-ting wearing shorts-s-s-s.” I say as my teeth begin to chatter. His head whips around and notices I’m completely soaked. 

“Oh my god.” Eddie tries to control the smile that begins creeping across his face at my words. 

“D-D-Don’t laugh, you jerk!” I hug my arms around myself and head towards his room. Eddie makes a quick detour into the bathroom and grabs a towel. As I sit down on the bed, he flops down beside me and runs the towel over my arms trying to warm me up. 

“Better?” he asks. 

“Y-Y-Yes. Thank you.” Eddie keeps chuckling at me. “Stoooop! Dork. I’m going to go shower really quick.”

####################################

As soon as I step out of the shower, there’s a loud crack of thunder followed by the lights going out. 

“Whoa! Ok, babe. One second!” Eddie shouts from his room. I hear his feet shuffle around and then a light knock on the door before he opens it just enough to push his hand through. He’s holding a lit candle in his hand. I thank him as I grab it and he closes the door. Now that I can see I search the bathroom for my bag so I can put on my pajamas. 

Uh oh. I do three circles before I realize I forgot it in Eddie’s room. As I reach for the doorknob so I can ask him to bring it to me something makes me freeze. I turn and look at myself in the mirror. 

You are beautiful. You love him. You trust him. Go for it.

Whore.

No, I’m not. I’m not!  I am safe. HE is safe with me.

With the towel wrapped around me, I grab the candle and open the door making my way to Eddie’s room. His back is to me as he lights a couple more candles and I place the one I’m holding on his dresser. He had changed while I was in the shower, putting on a simple black shirt and sweatpants. 

“Hey, so I don’t think we are going to get any food delivered in this. Do you want me to try and find something or—” His sentence is cut short as he finally turns around. His jaw falls slightly open as he tries to keep forming words. 

I move forward slowly towards him. “I was thinking we could try something.”

Thunder shakes the trailer causing Eddie to jump, juggling the lighter in his hands before it falls to the floor with his failed attempt to catch it. We both laugh but his comes out slightly more nervous. 

“Wow. Did I just cause thee Eddie Munson to become speechless?” I cock my head to the side as the grin on my face grows. 

“Yeah, well, um”, his hand flies up to rub the back of his neck. “It happens when I’m thrown off.”

“Thrown off in a good way or a bad way?” I ask trying to sound as confident as possible. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

“Definitely a good way, my lady.” His eyes shift between me and the floor as if he’s unsure of where to look. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was a little nervous.”

I’m now directly in front of him, standing so close my hair shifts with the wind of his breath near my face. “Why?”

“Well, I mean, I’m a guy. Guys get nervous and”, his eyes meet mine, “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

I reach up, placing a hand on his cheek. “You could never disappoint me.” I open my hand that’s holding the towel around me and it falls to the floor around my feet. “I trust you.”

He leans forward with his hands pulling my lips to his. As we kiss, Eddie slowly guides us back towards his bed. The back of my legs touches the cold metal of the bedframe and I let go of him to climb on the mattress. On my knees I left myself up so we’re face to face. I reach below him to take off his shirt and he raises his arms to left it over his head, tossing it casually to the floor. My hands move down his chest, brushing over every tattoo and beauty mark on his skin. My lips land on his shoulder as they make their way towards his neck. I feel his chest pressed against me exhale in as a small mewl escapes from his throat. His fingers become entangled in my hair holding me to him. 

Eddie tilts his head down so he can capture my lips with his. Tilting my palm downward, I glide it down into his sweats. He whimpers slightly when my hand wraps around his already hard cock. I lean my head back so I can look at him. His eyes are closed with his mouth hung open. I watch him as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip and hums in pleasure. It’s weird for me to be able to have this effect on someone especially Eddie. 

He always seemed so confident and strong. On the outside he looked like he didn’t care about anything and had everything all together. To see him come undone like this; it was wonderful.

“You look really good like this.” I whisper.

He opens his eyes to look at me. Eddie hadn’t realized I was watching his face. “Like what?”

As I scoot my body closer to his, I reach over and pull the waist band of his pants low enough to pull his cock free. Without the constriction of his sweats, I can move my hand a bit faster. His eyes start to close again as he leans his head forward to rest on my shoulder. 

I press my lips to his ear. “Like this.” 

“Oh my god” Eddie’s arms wrap around my waist as he abruptly pushes me flat against the bed. He lets me go and shoves his pants off the rest of the way leaving him completely naked. He starts to crawl up the length of my body stopping at my stomach. I watch him as he runs his tongue from my belly button up to my chest between my breasts. With his right hand he reaches up to run his fingers of my nipple causing a small whimper to fall from my lips. I run my hand through his wavy mane as he takes my other nipple into his mouth sucking on it delicately.

His soft lips gradually make their way up to my neck. He pulls back to look down at me affectionately as his hand comes up to caress my cheek. 

“Have you done this before?” Eddie asks, his voice laced with nothing but compassion and care. 

“This exactly, no.” My voice comes out a bit shakier than I wanted it to. “Have you?” I’m not sure why I asked. I already knew the answer and he confirms it with a nod.

“Does that bother you?”

“No. Makes me feel a little better, like you know what to do. I just, um, I may not be any good at first.” Eddie tilts his head to the side with an amused smile as his hand slides down to my tummy. “I just mean *I* don’t know what I’m doing.” His smile turns into a big grin as I feel my face flush with embarrassment. He grips my leg closest to him and pulls it over his hip as he runs his hand along my calf up to my thigh. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m nervous to.”

I swallow down a moan at the familiar feeling of his fingers opening my folds as he rubs his middle finger between them. His mouth gradually leans down to meet mine quickly before making their way down my jawline. 

“I got you, ok?” I feel his finger invade my entrance causing me to groan and turn my head into his voice. I wanted, needed to hear more of him. “I’m going to take care of you. You don’t have to be nervous or scared. You’re safe with me.” He turns his head slightly and leans up on his elbow to look at me again. His eyes meet mine as he slides a second finger into me pumping them in and out at a slow pace. 

“Eddie” I moan as I claw at the sheets trying to control that need to grab his wrist. He notices and smiles to himself. My leg drops from around him as he moves down the bed, situating his upper body between my legs. He pulls both my legs up over his shoulders and then reaches on either side of me to grab my hands and places them in his hair. He gives me a wink before his face disappears and I feel his tongue flick at my clit. 

I gasp out his name excitedly as I tug at his hair. Crafty bastard. He knew I could grab and claw at his head and hair and it only push him further into me. He definitely didn’t mind it either. With every light pull of his hair he hummed against me making me squirm. Eddie inserted his two fingers back inside of me while his tongue continued its assault. The coil in my belly snapped and his hand flew up quickly to hold my hips as he licked and suckled me through it. 

“Eddie…I…stop…need a minute.” I said between pants trying to catch my breath. I felt him get up and watch him through hooded eyes as he rummages through his dresser drawer, coming back with a condom. He tore the foil with his teeth and tossed it on the floor causing me to let out a breathy giggle. 

“What?” he asked as he looked down at me from the side of the bed. 

“Nothing. It’s just”, I point near his bed side table, “there’s a trashcan right there.”

He lazily reaches his hand towards it before dropping it back to his side shaking his head. “Eh. Too far.”

I laugh at him then and continue to watch his slide on the condom in his hand. He gently hops back on the bed and lays down on top of me. His head bends down to kiss the edge of my nose. 

“I love your laugh. It’s so beautiful.”

I reach up with my hand and brush the crazy strands of hair that fell out of his face. “I love you.”

Eddie reaches his hand down to grab his cock and guide it toward my pussy. My stomach starts doing little nervous slips and I, a bit too quickly, wrap my hands around his shoulders. He places a delicate kiss on my lips before he whispers “I love you to. Are you ok?”

I let out a timid chuckle. “You know you ask me that a lot.”

A gigantic smile spread across his face. “You’re right. I should stop caring.” He slowly pushes himself into me. 

We both let moan but mine comes out a little sharper. He starts making slow forward and back motions with his hips inching his way further in. During one particular movement, my brows furrow together as I let out hiss. Eddie immediately stops moving, eyes flying up to meet mine with concern. 

“It’s ok. I’m ok. It just hurt a little bit. Please don’t stop.” I crane my neck to reach his lips as he resumes his original pace. 

“Oh wow”, I exhale when I feel him fully sheathed inside of me. Eddie’s forehead had been leaning against my own. His eyes were squeezed shut trying to control his body as best he could. 

“Good wow or bad wow?” he breathed out, wetting his lips. 

“Good wow. I think”, I roll my hips slightly causing Eddie to growl. “I think you can move a little faster.”

With that his own hips start to thrust at a confident pace. I felt my eyes roll back as I whimpered his name. His head lulled forward and I could feel him breathing heavily into my neck. I positioned my arms around his neck pulling him as close to me as I could. Eddie reached down to grab my leg and wrap it around his waist. 

“Hey.” I whispered in his ear. “Babe.” He grunted in response. “Look at me, Eddie.” His head lifted, his eyes meeting mine. “I know you like watching me cum.” I smiled up at him. His pace slowed as he thrust into me harder. I watched him as he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them, before reaching down to rub fast circles on my clit. My pussy started clenching around him and we both exclaimed at the same time.

“Fuck!”

“Fucking hell!”

My back arched as I felt that familiar coil snap. Eddie started groaning above me as his hips began to sputter. I opened my eyes as he closed his and with a few more aggressive thrusts he came into the condom.

His hair had fallen around his face slightly blocking my view of him. His gorgeous brown eyes met mine as I moved his ruffled fluff out of his face. 

“I wasn’t lying you know. You really do look good like this.” He smirked at me as he carefully pulled himself out of me, taking off the condom, and throwing it in the trash. I let out a fake gasp. “Did you just throw something in the trash?”

He glared at me playfully as rolled back over on his side to face me. I slid closer to him as he slung his arm over my waist. We laid like that for a while with Eddie’s hand rubbing up and down my back and arm. As peaceful as it was, his silence made me a little nervous. 

“You okay?”

He tries to contain his smile as he mimics my voice. “You ask me that a lot.” Giggling at his impression, I lightly push at his shoulder. “Yeah. I’m good. Better than I’ve been in a while.” He props himself up on his elbow. “I know this was a big step for you. I, um, not many people trust me. Usually they see this mean, scary dude and…” Eddie’s voice starts to trail off. “What I’m trying to say is thank you for trusting a freak like me.” 

I prop up on my own elbow as I reach over with my other hand to lift his chin. “I don’t think you’re a freak. I never have.”

As Eddie leans in to give me a kiss, the lights in the trailer spring on. “Well, shit.” He dramatically rolls off the bed onto the floor making me laugh. “I know I had pants at one point.” He starts sifting through the pile on the floor. I lean over the bed where I knew he had left his boxers and throw them at his chest. “Oof. Why thank you, my Lady.” He saunters into the kitchen and I hear him shuffle around before he comes back, flicking off switches along his path. He casually tosses a pizza box on the bed and walks towards the bed side table, setting some drinks. He looks around the floor again and bends down to grab one of his shirts before tossing it at me. 

I beam at him as I shove it over my head. “Thank you, my knight in shining armor.”

[girlwithherheadinthestars]

tips for editing novels i wrote instead of editing

these are mainly targeted to people who find it hard to focus on editing (like yours truly) but really helps for anyone.

work section by section. i started doing this and it wasn't working because i kept reading on to the section after instead of focusing on editing the one section so what i did is copy paste the section (each should be no more than like 1000 words) onto another document and work on it there. read it over and over again until it sounds the way you want it to sound that copy paste it onto the other document and move on to the next section.

sit somewhere quiet. absolutely quiet.

no music.

turn off the wifi on your phone and on your laptop.

to get the emotion right in a scene, listen to music that embodies it. can't catch me now (olivia rodrigo) and east of eden (zella day) are what i'm listening to right now. of course, i can't write and listen to music at the same time because that's the kind of person i am but before you start writing, listen to the music and really get in the feels because emotion is what drives a story forward more than plot

i actually saw an author say this, i can't remember who, but it's good to have a song that evokes emotion so you can write the emotion properly

THESAURUSES. lifesavers. i can't come up with the perfect word to describe something because i have poor memory but the thesaurus always remembers (am i even spelling it right?)

drink water. (now. stand up. if you don't istg i'll find you.)

change the cliches. don't say it was a dark and stormy night. say it was a starless night that smothered even the smallest lamp lit in the little window of a small store at the edge of the abandoned town.

don't tell me what happened, tell me how it felt. it was not cold. her nose stung and her fingernails turned blue, she stamped her feet to keep warm, she shivered despite herself, her teeth chattering.

i think the trick is to search for every time you used the word 'was' and change it to a feeling

read aloud. do impressions. make your annoying character sound like your social studies teacher from 11th grade. have fun with it. just make sure the dialogue doesn't sound stiff and make sure the sentences flow well.

as a rule, shorter sentences flow better and are easier to understand

add more internal monologue, have your character try to reason things in their heads, don't have them just observe what's happening.

this is something i struggle with but if you have a mystery with a grand reveal in the end, keep track of what your readers know and don't know. reveal tiny clues that only fit when you finally see the full picture. be as evil with it as you want.

for motivation, reread your favorite scene (mine is the mc and love interest being adorable)

also, imagine the book being published. who would you dedicate it to? how many people would make tumblr posts analyzing it, how many people would make memes, who would the fandom ship?

finally, unrelated to editing, but if you must kill off characters, don't do it just because you want something dramatic and you need the plot to move forward, only do it for two reasons:

a) it completes the character's arc (i.e. they were afraid of death but when someone they truly loved was in danger they jumped in front of a bullet to save them)

b) they're going to come back to life later as a metaphor for phoenixes rising or something

personally, my favorite thing to do is to leave the death ambiguous. no one will know if the character really died or not (not even me)

[bunny-hoodlum]

#20, 33, 34, and 35 please!!

Sorry this is late! Wanted to think about my answers more, but I forgot to even read the original questions this whole time, so I def' didn't get to think about my answers, whups. 😅

Thank you for ask, @dayseternal-blog!! 🥰

How do you approach action sequences or intense moments?

I haven't written anything action, it makes me cringe because I don't think I know what I'm doing, but I read that short sentences are best for this and I would agree. Choppy, curt sentences would give that sense of blow for blow feeling that action needs, and it would give the sense of it happening seconds of each other, or even simultaneously. I would probably look for an action scene to copy tbh, and try to write the choreography in a choppy way. Emotionally intense moments can be the same, I suppose. Idk what I do personally, I think I'm an Intuitive writer. Once I'm in the emotion of the scene or character, I just go for it and my heart beats really fast usually and it's wrenching and it's awesome and then it just exists and it feels right. (Until I reread it a month or so later. 🙈 Jk, time isn't the problem, my inconsistent headspace is. 🤭)

How do you incorporate world-building elements into your fics?

So, at this point and as you know, I'm veryyyyy comfortable writing my modern AUs as if they were based in Japan. Even though I don't think Konoha could feasibly be as big as Tokyo with the size of Hi no Kuni, I just write it as if it is. 😅 I pull from the real world to some extent, usually Uzushio is a mix of Okinawa and Taiwan, but I also have some AU where it's pretty damn impoverished, so it's going to be a mix of Macau and Haiti. Sometimes Suna is a mix of Macau and Vegas, haha. I guess Dubai and Macau would probably be more... unique. 🤔 I focus on food and architecture more than deeper things like politics and style of governance and whatnot, because my characters only experience those things passively as ordinary citizens do. Whenever I get back to Powerless, the shady secret government program plotline will actually matter more than Slice of Life stuff, so in that instance I will have to map out history, organizations and their affiliations, how secret programs are run, etc. It just depends on what my story needs. Usually backstory kind of comes to me on its own and that informs me of the world. Can't really think of anything else. 🤔 Making things familiar is the main aim every time, though. Dango to a Japanese is like sugar-cinnamon pretzels to us in the US or whatever, it's a familiar snack you can get pretty easily. That's the kind of immersion I try to keep in mind.

Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learning along the way that you'd like to share?

Proofread before posting. Proofread again when you wake up the next day after posting. You'll always miss something, but give yourself the first week to catch all the typos you might've missed. 😂

I guess I recommend reading your dialogue aloud? Maybe your whole fic? My inner monologue is pretty damn loud, so I like to trust my word flow is good because I'm practically reading it aloud in my head. I recommend letting characters interrupt each other. Unless perhaps both parties are really solemn about getting to the bottom of the issue or respect each other or both, that neither interrupts the other, but their emotions would be raging to speak up in the midst of all that patience. Figure out your own writing process. If outlining sucks out the fun, try writing the whole thing without guidance but be sure to analyze the story's direction with what you produce. I recommend the flashlight method for pantsers like myself, there are other methods as well, but a little organization goes a long way. I lastly recommend the "One Stop for Writers" site, their Emotion Thesaurus is such an amazing tool. When you just need to reference things quickly, it's very robust.

What do you enjoy the most about being a fic writer?

Between the community aspect and kind of being known for certain things, I think those are pretty even. I enjoy the act of creation and all that, but having something I experienced along the way and having the pride of it being mine is pretty damn cool. And the community makes that feeling even better.

[icedteaandoldlace]

🍱 Do you read your own fics?

🍛 Have any comments, tags or reactions to one of your fics every made you laugh or cry or both?

🍣 What helps you focus or get in the mood to write

🍥What's your favorite fic you've written?

Do you read your own fics?

Absolutely. I write the kind of stories that I want to read, so I definitely revisit them from time to time. I just reread Birds of a Feather again the other day, and I'd forgotten how funny it was.

Have any comments, tags or reactions to one of your fics ever made you laugh or cry or both?

I've had several comments make me laugh (many of which were from @jwmelmoth). I don't know if I've ever had one make me cry. There was one really nice comment I got at the end of a really rough day that might've done it. The reader complimented both the story and my skills as a writer, and it was just the emotional pick-me-up I needed.

What helps you focus or get in the mood to write?

Focus wise, music. I sometimes make playlists for specific WIPs, or use one of my general mood playlists to get me in the right zone for whatever kind of scene/story I'm writing (though usually I just shuffle my whole library). My usual music library can also be distracting, though, in which case I'll look up focus music on YouTube or Headspace. Tbh music gets me in the right mood to write, too. Even I don't have a full playlist, I might have a handful of songs that remind me of a particular WIP and I'll play them while going for a walk to get me hyped up to write. It doesn't always work, but it's good for making me think about the story at least. But of course, nothing puts me in the mood to write quite like having to go to work, where I can't write.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

It's a tough call, because I love them all so much. I probably reread A Little Help From Your Friends the most, because it's so much fun, and it has both fluff and humor. And, even though it only has one chapter so far, Nights That Never End is starting to catch up to it, because it's all hurt/comfort. And of course, both are about people who love Cisco just wanting to be there for him in their own ways. 💙

[coldshrugs]

Self-Rec Tag Game

Rules: share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.) Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

@ghostwise tagged me for this!! thank you, beloved!! it's so fun and i believe in self-hype so here we go. this is bound to get long, sorry.

i'll tag @syrcus @scionshtola @gefiltefished @rickety-goose @myreia @lilas @thevikingwoman (this is seven people BUT many of us have been struggling with The Block lately so i'd love to see you guys celebrate yourselves if you want to 💗)

✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨

in this state (FFXIV): a moment immediately following Ultima Thule's climax, in which estinien and alisaie sit with an unconscious io. i really loved having them ignore and then play off each other for this!

“You care for her, don’t you?” Alisaie asks. Estinien scowls at the very specific emphasis in the question. He cares about a great many people, Alisaie not least among them. He cares for their causes and their well-being. But that is not what she is asking. It hasn’t needed a name before now, this feeling. Most often, it is in his chest, unfurling softly each time Io smiles, or rests her head against his shoulder, or speaks kindness to a stranger, until he can feel nothing but her warmth. Other times it shoots up his spine, a radiant pride that strengthens his arm and steadies his aim. It is the knowledge he would follow her anywhere because there is no one he trusts more. And now it lodges between his ribs, sharp and stinging. He answers after a long moment. “Aye.”

✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨

vacation, had to get away (TWC): i attempted to write a spooky story because TWC is not nearly as unsettling a universe as it could be. lots of fun but ough, i was so far out of my romance wheelhouse.

Between the clutter and sightseeing, even under the blazing coastal sun, there’s always something dark shifting just at the edge of Rebecca’s vision. Faint shadows twisting out of view at the last second. The wound-wet itch of unease prickling her skin. Someone is watching—of that, she’s certain.

✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨

oblivious (FFXIV): aymeric and estinien catching up and being besties. aymeric living for his friend having a crush. plus the groupchat decided this was the one (1) time aymeric is allowed to say "fuck."

“Mm, perhaps ‘friend’ is erroneous in both cases. Nevertheless, I am pleased you have someone like her,” Aymeric pauses, “for support, of course, as you adjust to– what was it again?– 'all these fucking academics.’ Though, I am confident they are thrilled to have you on their side.” Estinien leans back on his heels, chuckling at Aymeric’s weak-voiced swear. “Aye, they’re a hospitable group.” He glances up the stairs. Io and General Aldynn are inside now, and though his face does not betray him, there is a gravity to his pining. It pulls at him. He takes a step forward, clapping Aymeric on the shoulder. “I should go inside. It was good to see you, my friend. Give my regards to our brothers in arms, will you?”

✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨

praying that it waits for me (TWC): a fic about bumbling side character Douglas, which has had an amount of praise that still astounds and moves me, even two years later. i've read and reread every comment, tag, and little story folks have put on about accepting themselves and their queerness. i cannot tell you how much this piece means to me, and i am so humbled it resonated with so many friends and readers.

He starts gathering the threads. How this started, when he knew, why he hasn’t told his parents. Why he hasn’t told anyone. Where he plans to go from here. He knows the answers, but struggles to weave them into anything solid in his mind. He still has questions of his own, after all. His sexuality isn’t something he can put into bullet points, no matter how much easier that’d make this conversation. So he sits, swaying on the edge of his truth, still afraid of becoming.

✨ Something you want other people to see ✨

what i see in you, i hope you find in me (FFXIV): my favorite work for io and estinien so far tbh. io's shaky headspace during this portion of EnW was fun to navigate, and i am always pleased to write alisaie. balancing zenos and estinien as romantic foils during this part of her life is also 🥴

“He’s angry with me. I suppose that is his right. I shouldn’t have let them take you two.” Io grits her teeth, fighting against the knot of guilt that has resided in her stomach since the morning. Estinien is her friend, perhaps the closest she has here besides Alisaie. She understands him, so she can hardly blame him for being upset with her. They are family to him, Alphinaud, and Alisaie by extension. No less than they are to her. He has given Io little more than one-word responses since the twins were found. She may pretend otherwise, but his cold shoulder wounds her. “Oh, to hells with Estinien.” Alisaie waves a gloved hand dismissively in his direction. “He’ll get over it. Would he have you fire upon civilians while negotiating peace? He may love my brother like a… well, brother, but he must admit there was no ideal series of events to be had. We all did our best, and we all made it through.”

(spicy edition under the cut because i am 50% a smut writer after all)

✨ Something you absolutely adore ✨

flood (FFXIV): i actually really love this fic, it's spicy then it gets SO mushy. describing the position in a way that sounds hot and achievable was tough, ngl, but this is so so indicative of their intimate dynamic in general.

Already, the first threads of her climax quiver in her belly, pulled taut like a bow, like the curl of her back, as she anticipates the release to come. One move from Estinien, and she will shatter. He opens his eyes, hungrily surveying the twist of her body, enthralled by the lace framing her breasts. Io is so close, and can’t help herself. “You are adorable.” Estinien leans forward, arcing his body over hers. The ends of his unbound hair skim her shoulders and chest, featherlight touches in stark contrast to the stinging tug on her scalp. His lips brush Io’s in an intimation of a kiss, warm breath washing over her face and neck as he teases her with gentleness. “And you are already throbbing. When you come, I want to hear it, yes?”

✨ Something that was challenging to create ✨

too precious (blooming panic): uh. i wrote this out of spite because i hated the dom!toasty happenings LMAO. figuring out their sexual dynamic was a fun challenge. lots of blushing.

“I love how patient you’ve been, letting me take you in like this.” A real kiss, finally, and he sighs into her mouth. It kills him, not being able to rest his hands on her body, or run them through her hair. They twitch helplessly in the ties at either side of the bed, and Teddy kisses him harder to compensate.

✨ Something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably) ✨

in the light i thought i saw you (wayfarer): just filling in the blanks of ephyra's time with veyer at the gala. they are both SUCH little shits in this, it makes me laugh.

She touches their clit. The hitch of their breath is felt more than heard, and it’s Ephyra’s turn to laugh. “Oh?” Veyer’s head falls forward, cradled between her shoulder and neck, and Ephyra’s head spins again. Veyer is… strikingly vulnerable, more than she expected for a Guild Mage. They’re so open, too close. It’s almost uncomfortable. Almost. They grind against her palm, their own touch becoming erratic for a moment, before gently, firmly pulling her hand away. Did she do something wrong? They tsk a couple times, and a fresh grin pulls at their lips. “Not yet, Ephyra. I need both our focuses here-” They curl their fingers inside her to emphasize the point. “Be patient, dear.”

✨ Something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.) ✨

alma.mp4 (TWC): i love writing self-love smut but i'm always shocked when other people are into the way i write it LMAO.

“How do I taste, Mason?” She lifts her fingers, dripping and slick, to his mouth. The smirk parts and he takes them in with no hesitation. His tongue slides over them, between them, and Mason’s never been good at savoring. He devours. Eyes half-lidded like he might be a little drunk on her taste, he presses a wet kiss to her palm. His lips come away shining. “Better than blood, sweetheart.”

✨ Something you want other people to see ✨

something to talk about (FFXIV): idk i just think io should be allowed to be bossy sometimes and i think estinien would like it.

He removes his shirt while she unties his pants, pushing them past his hips. Candlelight dances across his skin and in his mussed hair. Io bites back the urge to tell him how beautiful he looks, cast in orange-gold light, already panting, barely holding onto the leash of his restraint. She strokes him with a deft hand, as familiar with his tells as he is with hers. The hitching breath, the white knuckle grip. This was his game, was it not? Io slides the tip of his cock into her cunt, then cups his chin. She murmurs against his lips, “come on, then.”