#I STILL NEED TO CATCH UP W NO HOME IM SORRY

[milkbreadtoast]

I NEVER SHARED THIS PUBLICLY BC NO HOME WASNT TRANSLATED AT THE TIME BUT I NEED U GUYS TO SEE THIS NO HOME SHITPOST SCENARIO I WROTE IN 2020 WHERE EUNYUNG ACCIDENTALLY CATFISHES JUWAN KDJCXM god its still good....

[macfrog]

champagne problems sex on fire chapter ten

i'm not sorry!!!!! you'll never catch me!!!! (im, like, super sorry)

pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader

summary: the secrecy between you and joel comes to a head. one huge, explosive, painful head.

warnings: age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), workplace relationship, imbalance of power dynamic, whew boy the angst is big in this one sorry, reader has a lot of internal struggle, daddy issues and commitment issues to the max (ha), memories of parental abandonment and adultery, sort of vague mention/description of reader having panic attacks, attempts to initiate sex (but alas, only one small mention of previous sex), Big Argument, alcohol consumption, cursing, sugardaddy!joel, soft!joel, fluff and angst. angst angst angst angst

word count: 11.1k

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The lavender is the first to wilt.

It stares glumly at the kitchen counter. Posture hunched and drooping. You stand before it, clutching a jug of water like you’re starving the purple sprigs for information. Why did he lie to me why did he lie why would he lie to me tell me why.

The daisies look on, awkward and curious. Their petals streaked with green – still fresh and still at least trying to bloom. The news hasn’t reached their delicate stamens yet – they still have blind hope. But they’re drinking from the same rotten water their lilac neighbors are. They must know it’s futile.

You fill the vase up and fix the lace bow – the one you’d transferred from the brown paper wrap to the vase last night, after seeing Joel out. He stayed until nightfall, until the rest of your apartment faded into a pale gloom, forgotten about while the two of you watched TV and kept secrets from one another in your warm-lit bedroom.

When he leaned down and held his lips over yours, you pushed yourself onto your toes and kissed him goodbye. He ruffled your hair, clipped your bottom lip lovingly. Said, I’ll call you tomorrow. Get some sleep, pretty girl.

You lay staring at the ceiling the whole night.

He was out all day Saturday at a charity event. He called you as he arrived home – you heard the elevator’s ding through the receiver, announcing its arrival at his top-floor apartment. And you stayed on the phone, the thing discarded on your mattress, as sleep blurred the edges of the world in and out of focus all evening.

Three times you thought about just telling him to come back over, hold you until you forgot what he’d even done. Pretend that the man who, possessed by lies and jealousy or something much worse, had taken your wrist and swept you off out of Jean-Marc’s penthouse isn’t the same one who brought you tea and Chinese food yesterday. The one who held you, blood and broken wings safe in his arms, while you wept into his body.

Three times you stamped the flame out, remembering. As if you needed reminding. Your stomach still sinks anytime the reel jerks back to its beginning behind your eyes. The words unfortunately and unavailable. The rustling of the bag in the kitchen. The padding of his footsteps drawing nearer and nearer.

Your phone buzzes somewhere across the room. You set the jug down and shuffle over, tilting the screen in the morning light.

We’re outside baby. Take your time.

You haven’t mentioned it to him, yet. Haven’t breached the conversation. You’ve no fucking clue where to start. It hurts too much to look at it just yet – like scalding yourself with boiling water and clamping a wet towel to the burn until you can stomach the sight of your skin, all blistered and bubbling.

The towel is still covering the wound. You’re still frantically pacing around the kitchen clutching it, heavy and sopping. You’re not sure what it looks like, but from beneath the cold cloth, it doesn’t feel good.

It doesn’t feel good at all.

Joel’s leaning against the Rolls when you totter down your front steps. Fall plucks the leaves from the trees one by one; they swirl down to the smooth pavement, brown and amber and golden. You’re in a floral tea dress, which took you an obscene amount of time to decide on, given the cocktail of nerves and confusion and outright panic rolling around your stomach.

Your heel scuffs to a halt in front of him. He pushes off of the car and swings your door open, squints at you in the sunlight. You watch his eyes move down your frame, a misplaced desire to impress him dripping through your veins, and then he looks back up.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he says, and your veins sizzle. “You look…” he shakes his head simply, “…you’re beautiful.”

Your lips betray you. Your mind – that poor, dead lavender; your body – the poor, naïve daisies. Still has blind hope.

You can’t help but reflect his expression, attempting to mask it with a soft shrug. “Are the heels too much?” you ask, glancing down and lifting your foot.

Joel shakes his head instantly. “I like ‘em. And even if they were, we’re late. You ain’t got time to change.”

“You said you’d be here at twelve. It’s ten after.”

“I run a construction company, not a watchmakers. You okay?”

“Yeah,” you say. Unconvincingly.

“I mean,” he circles a hand over his stomach, lifts his eyebrows, “you feelin’ okay? We don’t have to go – Martha wouldn’t mind, you know that.”

“I’m fine,” you chirp, and your painted lips flatten against one another as you dip into the car. “Hi, Rand.”

The driver lowers his sunglasses and tips his head in the rear-view. “Hi, baby.”

Joel shimmies along the leather, shifting his jacket from between you to scoop your body against his. You glance down, eyeing his soft sweater, the light shade of it paired against that of your dress. The glint of his watch as his wrist slips happily between your legs, hooking under your thigh. The bloody crimson of the birthday card envelope, trembling in the door pocket.

The car pulls off, dragging you from your daydream. Stealing you back from the dystopia where you and Joel match, where you go together. A couple. Removing the notion of it from your makeup, each cell in your body slowly reverting back to yours again. Just yours. No CEO boss to stake his claim to any of them.

Martha’s place sits at the end of a cul-de-sac; neighbored on one side by a retired couple who spent their entire summer arguing in the backyard, according to Martha, and on the other by a row of quaint cypress.

The front door, bordered by polished mosaic squares of glass, sits inside one of four gable roofs. Dark green shutters either side of each stark-white window frame. A smooth path snaking between neatly-fringed grass, a hierarchy of tiny bushes growing greener and greener the closer they draw to the front steps.

Come in through the back, she’d said. Gate will be open. We’ll be in the yard.

Joel makes some quiet remark just to you about how perfect the house looks. The red brick and marengo tile. How much effort gone into polishing the front, only to tell you to use the back entry. ‘s only for looking, he decides, and then offers his hand to pull you from the Rolls.

He bends over the car, hand flat on the roof, and calls back to Rand. “Do me a favor – don’t go far. Just –” he jerks his head in your direction, “– just in case.”

When he straightens up and the car purrs off, you shake your head. “I’m fine,” you whisper, and he hooks two fingers around the string of the giftbag, taking it from your grasp.

He replaces it with his hand, his huge palm against yours. “I know,” he mutters, glancing down the drive, “but it’s an excuse for when I get sick of Alan ‘n all his damn friends.”

“Henry,” you remind him.

He tosses you a half-second look, smirk scrawled on his lips. He knows.

She’s waiting for you by the French doors when you arrive – Martha. Glass of sparkling champagne in each hand. Your fingers slip free from Joel’s before you’ve even rounded the corner.

“Saw the car pull up,” she tells you, leaning to let Joel kiss her cheek. “Here,” she hands you a glass, then one to Joel, “and here.”

You sip at the bubbling drink, letting the sharp fizz assault your tongue. Letting the feeling wash down your throat, stinging and bitter. Joel seems to swallow his just fine.

He swings the bag in her direction, tongue swiping across his bottom lip. “Just a little somethin’ from the two of us.”

You frown, holding a hand up to shield your eyes from sunlight too faint to cause the stiffness of your face and the drawn string of your brows. Where is Deb? And her two sons? And their shared gift? Isn’t it totally platonic and professional after all, to sign something from you and Joel?

Martha’s hands clasp. She reaches gleefully for the bag, smiling at the striped pattern. “I got no idea where he is. Last I saw, they were all headin’ up to his room. Some zombie game on his PlayStation. He promises me they ain’t playin’ the R-rated version.”

“That’s alright,” Joel says, “I believe ‘im.” He leans closer, a weight apparent at the small of your back. It shocks like a surge of electricity up your spine, hurts like a sudden muscle spasm. And then it soothes the pain, his thumb rubbing delicately. “’s a nice place,” he tells Martha.

She feigns disbelief. “Well, thank you, Mr. Miller, C-E-O,” she sings, and then, cocking an eyebrow, “y’all want a tour?”

You both nod politely, following her towards the kitchen doors. Joel nods towards a table by the barbecue – an island amongst a sea of candy and pastries, chopped fruit and bowls of nuts: a two-tiered, sky-blue cake. The name Henry piped in red icing – the letters swirling much like a birthday card you once read in a house on Maple Street.

“Nice little cake for Alan,” Joel mutters, squeezing your waist.

A stolen laugh shudders from your lips; the two of you snicker together, and despite your best attempts to cover your grin with your champagne flute, Martha spots you.

“What’s so funny?” she asks, sidling back over.

“Martha,” you clear your throat, “would you do me a favor?”

“What’s that, sweetheart?”

“Would you please tell Joel your son’s name?”

She looks at you blankly. Blinks between you and the man at your side, both staring back expectantly. But her stone-set expression begins to crack, the lines deepening around her mouth.

“As in,” you clarify, “his real name. Not Alan.”

She makes to reply when the swish-thud of a window opening interrupts, the prepubescent bellow of an almost-teen from overhead.

“Mom!” Henry calls, his dark head of curls and long, boyish arms dangling over the sill.

Martha glares up at him. “What have I told you about hangin’ from there” she yells, fists propped on her hips. “What is it?”

“Mike brought Blood Cry III; can we play it?”

She shakes her head indignantly. “I have told you – how many times? No!” She holds her hands out in apology to you and Joel, and then scuttles off into the kitchen. “Go explore,” she waves, “I trust ya!”

Joel wordlessly takes your hand, leading you in Martha’s wake through the kitchen to the living room: its navy walls and white paneling, bookshelves spanning the entire length of one wall, and a pale-brick fireplace centering two leather couches. Very pristine, very perfect. Very Martha.

You amble around, slowing in front of the mantelpiece above which a gallery of framed photos hangs. Henry as a toddler on a green trike; Martha’s stepdaughter and her kid; Alan on a golfing trip. Your eyes jump from plump cheeks to missing teeth, sunhats and Thanksgiving meals, until they land on a photo of Martha and Alan on their wedding day – her veil pinned neatly into a permed updo, her puffy-sleeved dress and the lemon bouquet spilling from her hands.

Joel’s shoulder brushes against your own, his eye journeying across the photos, too. “Ha,” he tosses a finger towards the wedding photo, “nineties Martha. Nice hair, huh?”

You smile, lazily swatting his arm. “She looks beautiful. They seem happy.”

Joel agrees. “Wonder what their first dance song was.”

“I bet it was something classy. Sinatra or something. Martha wouldn’t be breaking the marriage in to anything cheesy, that’s for sure.”

He laughs, spinning off towards the dining room. “You ever thought about what you’d pick?”

You hesitate, rounding the table on the opposite side. “Uh…no. Not really.”

“Not your thing? Marriage.”

You chance a glance at him over a vase of lilies in the center of the mahogany table. The smell twists towards you, leering as it coats your skin and your clothes and the back of your throat in a sickly film that makes your head spin. “I guess not. I’ve never – Not since…”

He nods. He knows. “That’s fair,” he says, hands finding his pockets. The idea of Blake – his name, his shaking hands, the tiny box in his suit pocket – the thought of those images flitting through Joel’s brain pinches the air from your lungs.

You watch the silhouette of him as it crosses over the bay window, looking out onto the trimmed grass and smooth asphalt street. Something cracks deep in your chest. Something begins to unbind.

“What would yours be?” you ask him, and he turns.

“Depends,” he shrugs, “on when I’m gettin’ married or not. Makes no difference to me.”

You bypass the point he’s making. Turn away from it like you would a shadow in the night. “If you were,” you insist, “what would you pick?”

He nears you, never breaking your stare. His confident matches your nervous, his steady gaze on your shy. “Somethin’ special to me ‘n her. An our song kinda thing.” And then, as he brushes deliberately by your shoulder to head for the stairs, “AC/DC or som’.”

Your heels stick like they did that night in the dive bar. Ears hurt with a ringing loud enough to blur the edges of your vision. Your skin feels the same hot – only, not from the crowded room you’re in, or the mix of alcohol and sweat and something akin to lust seeping through your pores.

You stare fixedly at the view from the bay window, the perfect little cul-de-sac with its perfectly smooth roads; perfect for kids learning to ride their first bikes, perfect for couples wandering arm in arm, perfect for angry fathers taking off in cars packed with belongings.

When you were a kid, buckled into the back of your dad’s car, you used to fight sleep to watch the moon race you home. Her white glow surviving being split over and over again by the trees you’d whip past. Your eyes would flit from hers to the windscreen, watching the road up ahead as it threatened to twist and turn. No matter how fast you thought your dad must be driving, no matter which direction he turned – every time you looked for her, there she’d be.

It makes sense now. The notion of staying. Occupying somewhere in space or in time, and forgetting how to leave. Forgetting how to try. Forever fixed there, glowing in a brilliant melancholy, singing to nobody in the dark expanse of the sky. Waiting for the sun to make her return. Just waiting waiting waiting.

You – the moon, and your sky – that fucking driveway. The Toyota, the rust on its underside so bitter you could taste it like blood on your tongue. Searching all over for the scraps of yourself, the pieces he tore away as he fled: veins tangled around spokes, severed fingers tinged crimson and hooked around the steering wheel. Don’t go. Don’t leave me.

And then, the sun – some sharp-suited, quick-witted Texan; enough charm and ease to lift himself over the horizon, to give you something other than the glimmer in your own tears to reflect.

The moon stares down at you now as you sit, perched on your balcony. Your knees tucked under your chin, watching two cats wrestle down on the street below. It’s just gone two; Joel’s in bed fast asleep. You slipped from his grasp and crept out of your room, a blanket over your shoulders, and disappeared between the sheer curtains. Your chest tight, your breathing short.

It keeps happening, that thing from Paris. Your head begins to spin, your voice withers to nothing. Your legs push you to your feet and force you to flee, though you’ve still to figure out where to or what from. All you know is that blue-eyed stare of your ex-fiancé has been wiped, replaced by the dusted beard of your boss instead. The plastic ring between his fingers. The creaking leather of his office chair.

Those same four words keep circling your head, replaying on a loop between your ears: why did he lie why did he lie why did he lie. Like white noise droning around your skull, bubbling nausea in the pit of your stomach. No, darlin’. Why would I lie to you?

Why did you lie to me?

Why did he do any of it? Take you to Paris, let you meet his client. Why has he been sleeping with you, treating you like some kind of girlfriend? The word plucks goosepimples all over your body. His body around yours at Aspen Heights – what you wanted so badly to believe was endearment, was comfortability and generosity, now feels like territory-marking. Feels like the white-knuckled tightening of a leash in his wide fist.

The leaves of the trees across the street tremble, lit luminous green by the 7-Eleven sign they fringe. You watch as two men swagger out of the store; their chatter drowned by the buzzing of the fluorescent sign. They split off with a quick handshake at the curb, disappearing into two different cars, driving off in two different directions.

You sniff. Some skunky smell hangs low in the air. So thick that you can feel it coating your lungs from the inside out. You sink back into your chair, push your fingers into your eyes until you’re watching a mirage of stars pull across your vision. Blow a cracked, nervous breath into the sky. Slip your nose beneath the collar of your tee.

Joel’s tee, which pools in the dip between your stomach and thighs. You suck his scent in like one hit of some intoxicating drug, for every three hits of clean air. Just seeing you through. Pretending there’s no addiction there.

But fuck, if you’re not screwed. One half of you holding back on mentioning the email because – what the fuck do you even say? How do you begin to ask him about it? How do you approach the topic, without prefacing it with feelings you’re too afraid to admit even to yourself?

And the other half – for fear of what you might cause. What you might make him do. For the pure, cut-throat fear that he’ll become the third in a list of men to just – leave. To let you down, to let you go. Change between couch cushions. Wild flowers torn from the earth’s scalp.

Then, the fracturing realization that you don’t want him to go. That you’re used to him, now, in a way you never were with your dad or with Blake. Your dad – who would choose poker night over parents’ night. Who would choose a drink with his buddies over a movie with you and your mom.

Or Blake – who would schedule sex on the nights he figured he’d have enough energy to fuck you until at least he came, and would buy you chrysanthemums on your birthday even long after you’d told him you were pretty sure you were allergic.

And then there’s Joel. Joel fucking Miller. Who turned up at your door less than thirty minutes after Martha told him you were sick. Who said in the car ride to her house earlier, Tell me your favorite flower.

Why? you asked.

Just so I know.

Joel – who has never asked anything more than you’ve chosen to tell him about your father, but whose face still screws into an angry grimace anytime he’s forced to think of him. Who reaches out to adjust the broken heart around your neck, slip the clip back to your nape without you asking Who offers you the last slice of pizza, and when you refuse, compromises by splitting it. Giving you the bigger half.

Joel – with whom sex feels like a form of communication: Here are all the things I don’t know how to say, yet. Yet yet yet. A conversation, each movement deliberate; each nip and lick and bite weighted with purpose and meaning. It lives under your nails, behind your teeth. Here – I don’t know what else to do with all this longing.

Joel – who has not only set every foot right, but has carved his own path through your heart. Explored the caves himself, a lonely lamp hanging from his fist as he carefully, gently, politely weaved his way through a jungle of valves and tissue, monsters and darkness, slowly winding his way to the center.

Joel. Who has never let you down. Until that fucking email.

A 7-Eleven employee, some scrawny kid with a mop of black hair and a polo hanging from his skeleton, drags a cloth in wide circles on the inside of the windows. He swipes his forehead along his wrist, thick tresses disturbed, and stares out at the empty street.

You blink twice, and a figure materializes at your balcony door.

“Baby?”

“Jesus!”

“Woah, woah. Easy – ‘s just me.” The pale drapes surrender to his wide frame, letting him pass. “Sorry, pretty girl. You okay?”

“You scared the crap outta me.”

Joel bends before you, a sweet little chuckle in his throat, and presses a warm kiss to your forehead. You lift your chin, letting your eyes close over and your thoughts melt away on his lips. He pulls the blanket tighter around your shoulders.

“What are you doin’ out here at this time of night?”

You shrug as he settles into the wireframe chair opposite. Groans as he leans back. His wide chest constricted by a tight, gray hoodie splattered with paint.

“Just can’t sleep. Nice hoodie.”

His eyes dip to the mounds of your chest under plain cotton, the blanket slack around your breasts. “Someone stole my T-shirt. Stole somethin’ of hers back. Why can’t you sleep? You hurting?”

Yeah. “No. Just – not tired enough, I guess.”

“You want company?”

Not really. “Sure.”

He laces his fingers over his stomach as he settles back, studies you as your gaze skims the street below. He knows you’re lying. But it’s two a.m., and you’re weeks into an affair that you’re both pretty sure has gone past the point of no return, and so, voice plain, he asks, “What’s on your mind, angel?”

“How d’you know there’s something on my mind?”

“There’s always something on your mind. It’s you.” And then, readjusting in his seat, “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

You scrunch your nose with a sniff. Pull your arms inside the sleeves of his shirt and cross them under your breasts. “Your dad,” you say, locking eyes with him.

Joel lets it hang for all of three seconds. “My dad?” His face curls into a perplexed smirk, jaw tilting. He thinks you’re so fucking adorable, or maybe you think he is, and you’re not sure which one scares you more.

You laugh, chest lightening disobediently. It felt more comfortable when you couldn’t breathe. “What he did,” you explain.

“What he did,” Joel repeats, lifting his chin. Like a dog, sniffing out the truth. Something concealed in your fist.

So you unfold your fingers, holding it out in the palm of your hand: “Do you think he would’ve done it, still, if he knew what would happen?”

And then he really shakes off the humor. Sits forward, elbows leaning on his bare thighs. “What’re you talkin’ about, pretty girl?”

“Like,” you sigh, “if he knew he would split his entire family in two. You and your mom cut him off; Tommy moved halfway across the country. Was it worth it?”

“To me, or to him?”

You shrug again. He’ll choose the one he wants to answer. You’ll figure him out either way.

“Look,” Joel says, and hooks his fingers under the seat of your chair to pull you closer. He takes your ankles and you stretch your legs out, heels propped in the boxer-clad valley between his legs. A deep breath, hazel eyes pointed upwards like searching the skies for the words, and then: “People want what they want, right? They’ll do whatever they think is necessary to get it. He wanted to cheat, so he did. And he paid the price.”

“He wanted to cheat?”

It seems obvious to him. As though people seek out ways to hurt the ones they’re supposed to love all the damn time. The silver glint of a Labrador’s teeth as he sinks them into his owner’s skin.

Joel nods. “Wanted it badly enough that he did anything.”

“Lied?” you offer.

“Lied, cheated, left. Yeah.”

“And he risked everything.”

His head tips in agreement. “I guess he did. He was a damn idiot, you know? Had a wife who loved him, had two kids. He had the whole world in that house, and he threw it all away.”

“And,” the soles of your feet rest gently on the curve of his stomach, “would that – would it stop you? If you at least knew you were riskin’ something?”

“From cheating?”

“Anything. If you knew what you were risking was everything to you – would it stop you doing what you really wanted?”

His face tightens, brows knit with confusion and something else more difficult to place. “It depends. I wouldn’t risk something like you. I would n–”

“Somethin’ like me?” you interject.

Joel clears his throat. Looks up to the pitch-black sky again. “You…” He sighs. His answer is simple, black-and-white. There’s no way to hide it anymore. “I wouldn’t risk you, no. Not for the world.”

You fall silent. The moon stares down, seeming to melt around you. Her light like two steady arms holding you together, nudging you to ask the last question – the one spiraling around your mind like circling a drain.

Joel squeezes your ankle. “Where are you goin’ with this, baby? Are you asking me if I would cheat on you?”

Your heart jumps. The moon scatters.

Does he fall into the category of people who could cheat on you? Two months ago, he was just your boss. Two months ago, you hadn’t touched him more than a slap after a witty comment, the brushing of fingers as you handed him his morning coffee. But now…now, you’ve kissed his lips to shut him up. You’ve felt him come inside you. You’ve set foot inside his childhood fucking home, for Christ’s sake.

He makes you feel as though your heart is made of glass, delicate and laid bare but safe in his hands. He makes you feel as though a part of you exists outside of your own body – like there’s a piece of your soul wandering the earth by itself, touching base every time his hands are on your hips, his teeth in your neck.

Yeah. Fuck – yeah. He’s someone who could cheat on you. The way that email made you feel – he’s someone who could break your heart.

“I know you wouldn’t cheat on anyone,” you say, voice breaking. “No, I just – I don’t know what counts as a good enough reason to hurt someone you’re supposed to…supposed to love.”

Joel sits back in his chair again, the frame creaking under the weight of him. He reckons he gets it, now. You reckon he’s still wrong. “Come here,” he says, fingers flicking.

“What?”

He leans forward, takes your waist in his hands and pulls you from your chair into his lap, curling you up between his thighs. Safe. Protected by the shell of his body, protected by everything except from the thing scaring you most: the quickening of his heartbeat when you settle against it.

Your head slots under the curve of his chin, his voice a deep rumble over your skull.

“Your dad,” his chest swells, “he did what he did because he wanted to do it. Wanted it badly enough that he gave up you and your mom. And there wasn’t nothin’ you or her could’ve done to stop him, or convince him otherwise. You hear me?”

You turn into his neck, letting your tears fall hidden from view of streetlight or moonlight. You feel fucking tiny – a kid again, sat in a grownup’s lap, asking a never-ending series of why questions. Then, why did he do it? Why did he leave? Why are you staying? Why did you lie to me?

Joel presses his lips to your head, shushing you quietly, his body rocking back and forth like a boat on light waves. When he hears you sniffling, he holds you closer. Tighter. Your heart melds to your chest wall, desperate to seek his out. The hoodie he’s wearing smells like you, smells like him, smells like the chemicals of paint and the poison of love.

“It wasn’t your fault, darlin’, none of it.”

His arm hooked over your bare knees, the cotton keeping you warm. The other around your back, keeping you whole. You unstick yourself from his embrace, pulling your body straight until you’re straddling his lap, face to face with him in the light.

He looks up at you, almost afraid to blink. Afraid to lose sight of you at all. Your thighs lean heavily against his, your bodies locked together. You link your arms over his shoulders, anchor yourself to him as though the storm in your mind might sweep you away. And in the glimmer of light in his eye, the dazzling bulb of a lighthouse – you see the reflection of yourself.

Joel notices the shift in your expression. Holds you by the hips, follows the turn of your head. “You okay?” he asks, and you look down, avoiding his eye.

Glowing brilliant and lonely, blinking slowly. Your towering silhouette and caged-glass top. Drawing ships nearer just to ward them off when they pull too close. When they begin to notice the jagged shape of your shoreline, the ugly mess of your soul. Casting a blinding light on them, warning them to flee. And he didn’t fucking listen.

He docked anyways. Drew up on the beach, pulled himself into your body time and time again. You kept moving, kept warning him with each flicker of light, kept daring him to leave. And he never did. And there are pieces of you now living in him because of it, pieces you don’t understand how to take back. All you know, all you’ve ever known about Joel, is –

Your body sinks, hips lowering until you’re sure you’ve proven yourself right.

A stubborn weight between his legs. Not quite as hard as you’ve felt him before, not quite as heavy, but – a shape which sends a hot hiss between his teeth when you move over it, when the thin strip of your underwear courses over the thin cloth of his.

“P-retty girl,” Joel says, a groan seeping from the corners of his lips. A groan he holds onto with his molars, letting it snap like elastic when your hips circle again.

A weight as stubborn as the need slowly swirling in your chest. And pulled up into the cyclone are those same words: It wasn’t your fault. There wasn’t nothin’ you could’ve done to stop him. Why did you lie to me? It wasn’t your fault.

It hits you at once, the sudden realization that you’re lighter than you were before you first touched one another – really touched one another. Parts of you missing, passed over gladly the second his hand reached for them. The taste of you behind his lip, gums absorbing you like nicotine.

And you’re kissing him, your lips harsh against his, his stubble hurting your skin. Your tongue seeking out those parts of yourself. No. You don’t have me anymore. I’m taking me back.

“Hey,” Joel whispers into your mouth, steadying your hips. He pulls back and holds you still. “Why don’t we slow down? It’s late, you ain’t feeling too good –”

“I feel fine. I want to do it.” You lick again between his lips though he doesn’t budge; your attempts to move again, ineffective. “Joel.”

“It’s been a long day, you’re tired. Work in the mornin’, baby, I just don’t think we oughta –”

“You don’t wanna fuck me?”

He pauses, his tongue between his teeth. His brows pinch, almost painfully. “That is not what this is, ‘n you know it. I can see how tired you are – you ain’t even slept yet.”

“I don’t care. I want you to –”

His voice lifts to something you’ve only heard within the four walls of his office. Like chiding one of his guys, like snapping back at their red ties and crumpled collars. “I know what you want me to do. I just think we should go back to bed.”

“’n what if I don’t want to go back to bed?”

Joel sighs, looking out across the street. His tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek.

“I don’t get what the problem is,” you complain, still holding onto his shoulders. “You’ve fucked me in public before.”

“It ain’t that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Why don’t you go grab a sketchbook or something? Show me some of this artwork you been promisin’ since Paris?”

You blink back at him, watching the lighthouse swirl. The black waves begin to carry him off, sweep him from your view. “Maybe some other time,” you mumble, pushing yourself off of his lap.

Joel watches you, defeated. Keeps ahold of your hand when you stand between his knees. He swings your interlocked fingers gently. “Can you…can you tell me what’s wrong? Do you know?”

Your lungs pull in a deep breath, your shoulders rolling. “Same thing as always, I guess. Let’s just go back to bed.”

“Wait, pretty girl,” he tugs on your hand, reeling you back in, “waitwaitwait.” And then he’s standing, enclosing you in his arms again, asking, “What can I do to fix it?”

That same shrug. Tired. Deflated. Terrified. “If I only knew.”

You wait for Joel to move first, a sigh falling from his lips as he pulls the sheer curtains back, taking you by the hand and ushering you between. He follows your lead back into your apartment, sliding the door closed behind.

The living room is flattened by a gray silence, the liminal night swallowing up the air. Joel’s hand comes to rest at the nape of your neck, and when you turn to him, he says, “You wanna know if he thought it was worth it?”

You pause, fingers playing with the hem of his tee at your thighs.

He’s close enough that you can feel the heat near enough sizzling from his body. The right side of his face is shrouded in darkness; the chalky wash of streetlight painting the left. “My dad.”

You swallow hard, blinking in the shadow cast by his tall figure. The light clings wearily to his beard.

“She left him after two weeks. Went back to her husband. My dad died alone in an empty four-bed in Rosedale. You tell me.”

And then he pats the small of your back, takes you back through to bed – where you let him fall asleep on your chest, listening to make sure your fractured heart is still beating.

Joel Miller is in your shower. For the second time this weekend.

He’s not fucking you, not holding you against the rough tile wall as his cock draws come and blood and tears from your body. He’s not wrapping a towel around you, handing you a fresh tampon, kissing the parts of your skin still alight from your orgasm.

He’s just showering, before work. Using your peach-scented soap, pushing suds under his arms, over his stomach, between his legs. Lathering your shampoo like treacle between his palms, hair slick and foamy white between his fingers. Fixing the head so that his height fits under the stream of water, turning the knobs until it’s as hot as he likes it.

You’re lying across your bed, suffocating in the smell of his side and pretending none of it’s really happening. Face buried in his pillow, waiting for the intoxication to throw you under or wipe your mind clean or maybe just cut the air supply from your lungs completely. Whichever’s quickest.

The bathroom door opens; the sound of footsteps padding over to you. His weight sinks into the bed by your hip, then hovers over your back. His nose, still steamy and damp from the shower, nuzzles into the spot behind your ear. His lips leave a wet trail down your neck.

“You need another day?” Joel asks, kissing.

“I’m good,” the cotton absorbs the nervous edge of your voice, “just coming.”

“Stay home if you want, angel,” he says, hands roaming south to hold your waist. Like warning the pain, tempting it to show back up. See what he does about it. “I gotta go take this shareholders meeting, but I can come back as soon as it’s done.”

“Nah,” you groan, pushing your heavy frame up. Joel’s grip slackens. “I need the distraction, I think.”

He sits back, smiling dumbly when you straighten. His tongue runs along his teeth.

“You can use my toothbrush,” you mutter, heel of your palm wiping sleep from your eye.

“Hm?” He’s fixing the mess of your hair. Brushing one side flat, then the other; leaning back and forth with this dumb, half-there smile on his face. And your chest heaves, and you almost surrender to the impulse to throw yourself into his arms, almost lean into his cupped hands and burning caresses.

“I owe you. From Paris. You can use it, just this once.”

He scoffs. “I won’t use your toothbrush, darlin’. It’s alright.”

But you’re indignant. You already have every other part of me, don’t you? What’s one more? Just fucking –

“– use it. I swear I don’t mind.”

Joel’s head tilts, conceding. “Alright. Come get ready, then.”

Martha’s at her desk when the two of you wander back into the office. “Wait!” she calls, clicking around her desk as you pass by. She twirls a blue envelope between two glittery nails, holds it out to you.

Joel takes it, examining the childish scrawling of your names. “Nice, but – your calligraphy needs a little practice, Martha.”

“Hilarious,” she drones, sitting back against the desk.

You drift over to your own, dropping your back over the back of your chair, and shrug the coat from your shoulders.

Joel’s voice draws nearer as he speaks. “He have a good time?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah,” Martha replies, and Joel sits the card from Henry by your monitor, “barely saw ‘im the entire day. Thanks for comin’. For his gift, too – y’all really…You ain’t gotta do that.”

“Was all my idea, wasn’t it?” Joel asks, smirking to you.

An airy laugh pushes from your chest, loose with nerves. “Som’ like that. Glad he had a nice birthday.”

Joel saunters back toward his office, hands in his pockets. Fucking casual, like the world isn’t crumbling beneath your feet. Like the walls aren’t closing in, the sky lowering by the hour, the sun being steadily eclipsed minute by minute. He nudges the door closed with his foot, leaving you, Martha, and an awkward mist of realization between you.

“Your idea,” she muses, once you’ve plucked up enough courage to face her again.

You pick up Henry’s card, staring at the smudged handwriting to mask the horror peeling its way across your face. “Thought it was easier that way, y’know?” You gulp. “Don’t make it into anythin’.”

She grunts, something shaped like Ha. Her arms cross over her body, her eyes flitting between Joel’s office and you. “I sure as hell don’t remember me ‘n Alan ever doing something like that before it meant anythin’.”

“What are you saying it means?” you ask, rhetorically, dryly – a little meaner than you want it to sound. “What’s…?”

Her plucked eyebrows lift, forehead creasing. “Nothing, sweet. I’m just saying – you two are close, now. It’s nice.”

“We were always close.”

She holds her finger up. “Uh, no. Not turn up at my son’s birthday party together, leave together, then turn up at work the next day also together close.” Her eyes narrow, and you almost believe she might’ve been hidden between the trees last night – hell, for a second, you believe she might’ve been that scrawny kid wiping down the windows of 7-Eleven.

“I’m just saying,” she continues, when your throat closes around your nothing answer, “if something’s happening, I’m rooting for it.”

It shoots from your jaw like a bullet. “Nothing’s happening.”

Martha’s just as quick. “Okay,” she says, sweet and light. Breezy.

And then she shuffles back to her chair, resumes focus on some email. Twists the dial on her radio and fill the tense silence in the office with some smooth seventies song which lifts the hairs on the back of your neck the same way it did in that Parisian hotel. The dark suite, his eyes black and seeking. His hands on your body like he knew every curve and dip already.

Didn’t you believe that he might? That his hands were sculpted to fit the space below your ribcage? The plush cushion of flesh above your hips. The hinge of your jaw between his fingers.

Didn’t you think, for one fleeting moment, that maybe he was made just for you? As if you were so fucking lucky. As if anyone might stick around long enough to earn that label. Yours.

You settle back into your chair. The bubble writing on the front of the card stares menacingly back at you, the shapes seeming to swell and shrink in size the longer you stare at them. A bad trip, you think, this whole thing is just a bad trip. I’m gonna sober up any second, and I’m gonna be in bed, still dizzy after that night at the bar.

And none of it’s gonna be real. It’s not fucking real.

But then – lying on the opposite side of your computer, delicate and tiny, sparkling in the sunlight from over your shoulder: your ring. Your ruby ring, two euros in a gumball machine by the Seine. Like it’s winking at you, the accent rhinestones a taunting smirk. And the sight of it slings a thin wire around your heart, tight tight tightens until you’re sure you feel the tissue slice in half.

You take the ring in two shaking fingers, eyes bleary with sleep and salt. Blinking the dispersed light away, red rays bleeding all over your vision as you tilt the plastic. Joel’s voice muffles against his office door, like fists echoing against the flimsy walls of your little daydream. Time’s up. Hand him back over. It’s not fucking real anymore.

You roll the prize back onto your desk, letting it scatter shards of ruby until it hits the keyboard, the rattle echoing around your ears as you pace over to his office door. Your knuckles drum once, twice, three times against the wood before he opens it, and then he’s –

Staring down at you, breath shallow between slack lips. And he reads it all over your face, the panic and the words swimming around the tears in your eyes, and he steps back, and you step forward, and then the door’s closing again, and you’re settling against the arm of his couch.

“Ken? Hey, Ken?” Joel strides back over to his desk, hastily reaching for the phone. The voice from the receiver doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow. “Ken. Can I –? Jesus Christ.” He lifts the handset and drops it less than a second later, cutting Ken’s fucking droning, cutting the only sound in the room, cutting your blood short in your veins.

And then – “Alright. Talk to me.”

You don’t reply. He seems to tense up. Moves almost robotically over to you, lifts his hands to hold your shoulders. And when you lift yours to push him away, he almost flinches.

“Baby.”

Your jaw shakes once. You wrap your arms around yourself, squeezing the breath from your lungs.

“You’ve been actin’ off since yesterday,” he mutters, giving you some space. He’s moving slow, like he’s afraid you might lunge for him. “You gotta tell me. You’re scaring me, now.”

You haul your gaze from his open arms, his broad chest, the idea of letting him pull you in and calm you down. Your eyes land on his monitor. The text of that email flashes before you again. And your shell hardens.

“Is there anything you wanna tell me?” you ask, staring at the Apple logo. Your voice sounds timid, sounds so little that you swear you see Joel catch the words as though they’re made of glass.

His head tilts. His eyes narrow. It’s genuine confusion, you think. The penny hasn’t dropped yet. “…What?”

It pisses you off. Seems to shatter that glass into fifty angry shapes, brittle and sharp. The shards cut like a knife through the air between you. “Nothing you think I oughta know?”

He shakes his head slowly. “No, baby, I don’t…”

Your glare finally lands directly on him. Piercing straight into his eyes. But your jaw locks shut around the words.

“What the hell are you about to accuse me of?” Joel asks, mirroring your stance. Pulling his arms over his chest, jaw tight. “Cheating on you?”

Your chest jumps with a tiny laugh. “Why would I accuse you of cheating on me?”

“Sure sounded like that’s what you were thinkin’ last night.”

“No. I don’t think you’re cheating on me.”

“Then what is it?”

The gun fires. Gates open. Thunder rumbles. A fire lights in your stomach, blazing through your entire body.

“When were you planning on telling me about Jean-Marc?”

He goes quiet. Still. Realizes exactly what you mean in almost an instant. “How did you…? Where did you –?”

“I saw the email. On Friday. Gave me your phone to look for Alan’s Twelfth fucking Birthday, didn’t you?”

His face drops; a broken sigh falls from his lips. He looks up to the ceiling, something of a disbelieving, disappointed, fucking dismayed laugh loose between his jaw. “I wasn’t,” he eventually concedes.

“You weren’t?”

“No.”

You can’t believe him. You actually can’t believe him. Fists balling to hold your nerve, to hold the tremble in your voice steady, you ask, “Why?”

Joel’s body twists, rolls like some awkward wave as he readjusts, searches the surrounding room for an explanation. “There’s – there are a number of reasons why.”

“Start with the first one.”

“Alright.” He grips the wooden desk either side of his hips. Meets your stare, and it’s almost fucking admirable, the bravery with which he’s walking into this. You don’t scare him at all, not yet, anyway. Not even in the midst of a standoff in his office – guns loaded, eyes never blinking.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and then lifts his arm, waving his palm like he’s swatting the image of the Frenchman away. “He’s…He freaks me the hell out.”

“He freaks you out,” you repeat, voice flat. “Really, Joel? Big guy like you?”

You can’t help yourself. This is so fucking insane, it’s laughable. You’re like a snake shooting sharp shots at the ankles of a bear – and it’s too easy to take jabs when you’re still in disbelief at what’s fast turning out to be the truth.

“He’s sleazy, and inappropriate, and he doesn’t respect boundaries.” He counts them with three steady fingers. “Not mine, certainly not yours. I don’t like him, darlin’.”

“You like him enough to go have two meals with him in one weekend. Fly all the way to fuckin’ France for ‘im.”

“That was business. At least, the lunch was. The breakfast was a mistake.”

“What’s the second reason, Joel?”

He licks his lips. You can’t tell if it’s anxiety or anger. “You’re too good at your job. I didn’t wanna lose you.”

It’s simple enough. It’s more believable than six-foot-two Joel being afraid of five-foot-two Jean-Marc. You accept it a lot quicker.

“Any more?”

His expression drops. Yeah. There’s one more. And he doesn’t know how to say it.

“Joel.”

“I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Got that one.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. Expression unmoving. “I didn’t want to lose you.”

You suck in a deep breath, chest wobbling as your lungs fill. The snake retreats from the bear, jaw slackening. Your eyes sting, Joel’s figure blurs a little, and then you rein it back in.

“I didn’t want you to go. That’s all,” he offers, plainly. “Just…wanted you to stay here. With me.”

“’n what if I wanted to leave?”

“Then…” Joel’s arms lift again, gesturing to nothing, “…then we’ll work something out.”

You lift your chin, some sick expression pushing your eyebrows up. “We’ll work something out?”

He nods.

“Who’s we?”

And it’s the first time you see him falter. The first time he has to catch himself. “You said it yourself,” he says, “you ‘n me. This.”

You shake your head. No no no no. Not this. Not now. The snake coils up, preparing to strike again. “What, us sleeping together?”

“That’s…What?”

“You don’t think there are plenty other women you could be sleeping with here, ‘n plenty other men I could be sleeping with over there? You really want me to stay here just so you got someone to fuck?”

Joel’s lips fall apart. His grip loosens on the desk. “That’s all this is to you?”

“Uh, yeah. Last time I checked.”

You don’t believe yourself. You know you don’t. You don’t believe a fucking word being tossed out of your mouth. You’re being an asshole, deliberately being a dick to him, and you can’t stop. There’s a wall being built at rapid pace, shutting him out. Shutting you in. Bricks made of angry words, each one separating you a little more, hiding you from his view.

And then his mouth closes. Lips form a thin line. Brows lower, blocking any of the light you’re so used to seeing from his eyes. Dark, cloudy, angry. “Got it,” he snaps. “Anything else?”

“Huh?”

“Do you need anything else? Or are you just in here to piss me off?”

You lift from the couch, arms loose, hitting your hips with a slap. “Fuck off, Joel.”

“Oh,” he nods, “right. Fuck off, yeah. Keep goin’, baby. Tire yourself out. ‘s all you’ve been doin’, ain’t it? All this time? All you’ve been using me for?”

Good. It’s good. You want him to argue back. You want him to hate you as much as you hate yourself right now. You want to see the bear’s claws; make all the hurt you’re dragging up through yourself, just to dish at him, worthwhile.

“You know what?”

“What?” he spits.

“I knew you were gonna do something like this, eventually. I knew it. I fucking knew it.”

Joel follows suit, pushing himself off the desk in one motion, and then the pair of you are chest to chest, squaring up to one another atop his five-thousand-dollar rug. “You knew what?”

“Knew there was something about him. Knew you couldn’t stand him. And this is why, right? All ‘cause he wanted to hire me?”

He turns away and laughs, almost recognizable as the same laugh you could draw from him with a silly look on your face – except sharper, colder. “Not even close,” he says, reeling back in. “You didn’t see the way he looked at you? The way he talked to you? About you?”

“Of course I saw it, Joel, I’m not fucking stupid.”

“Then use your good sense ‘n catch up, baby. You’re right: you’re not fuckin’ stupid. You were like fresh meat to him, and what? You reckon I should’ve let him just – sink his teeth deeper? Really?”

It lights something in the back of your mind; a memory flickers to life. Loops like a static radio message through your ears. “Right,” you nod, “right. Because you don’t like other people’s hands on things that belong to you, do you?”

His head jerks back, face warped with confusion and…disgust. “The hell are you talkin’ about?” he demands, voice muscled with anger.

“Martha said it once. You don’t like people playing with your toys, or whatever.”

And that seems to hit him low in the stomach. Seems to knock the wind from him.

“Are you kidding me?” he asks, and you swear his breath cuts in his throat. “That’s what you think?”

No, you think, it’s not. You know him better than that. But admitting that you know him better than to use you as some little plaything – something he had any control over, some accessory to wear on his arm – would mean admitting that the problem lies elsewhere. Lies with you.

And that’s not something you’re prepared to do right now, either.

Maybe before you found that email. Before you found out he’d been keeping you on some invisible leash. Maybe when he had you in his arms, kissing you so soft you thought you might die right then and not even notice.

Maybe when he looked at you, twirling chopsticks clumsily in his fingers, face lighting in a grin when you giggled at him – and three words floated through your head. Dared to dance over the tip of your tongue before you caught them and hissed, What the fuck are you doing here?

But – no. It’s all fucked up now. And you can’t break the tightness in your jaw to admit any different.

“You don’t think there’s a chance I actually care about you? That I – Jesus, that I respect you? Are you this goddamn hellbent on convincing yourself that everyone’s out to hurt you?”

“Joel,” your voice says, and it’s not you controlling it. Some gravely, pained thing. A shriveled part of yourself, cowering from the light. You’re recoiling, physically backing up from him.

“Darlin’, I can’t –” He reaches for your wrist.

You whip it away. “Stop.”

“I am trying to understand you,” he pleads. “I’m tryin’ to figure you out. Why won’t you let me –?”

“I don’t want you to.”

A laugh ejects from his throat and plummets straight to the floor. “Yes, you do,” he says. “You don’t do everything we’ve done unless you’re in it.”

“In it?” you seethe. “In what? What are we in?” You pinch your fingers: air quotations around the words, or possible claws digging four more wounds into the same chest you wept into last night.

Your head shakes rapidly as you speak. “We were just sleeping together. We were just having sex. That’s all. We were just having sex,” you repeat under your breath.

“I wasn’t,” Joel says. Matter-of-fact. Like reading from a contract. He takes a deep breath, and then repeats, “I wasn’t.”

The words splinter painfully from your tongue. “Well, I was.”

And though your eyes are pinned to the buttons of his shirt, though his expression sits just too north for you to see the way his face pulls – you notice his head lift. Know that there are creases digging between his brows at the same rate cracks appear across his heart. You feel the warmth of his gaze slowly cooling. Freezing over.

“I’m sorry,” he says, holding a shaky palm out. The fear begins to sink in, plunging through ice water. He’s beginning to bargain. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should’ve, I should’ve told you ev–”

Your body moves as the words ricochet, refusing to let him finish his plea. “Glad we got that cleared up, Joel,” you say, near-leaping for the door.

But he’s faster. He steps in front of you, blocking your exit path. “Please hear me out. Please listen to me.”

Your body writhes under his gaze, twists like some little creature under a microscope. He waits for your go ahead before he continues. You toss your head, acquiescing.

“I just – I couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t sleep at night thinkin’, what if you went for it? What if he managed to swindle you into taking him on? I wanted to get you the hell outta that penthouse the second he laid eyes on you.”

“So why take me in the first place?”

Joel scoffs. “I ain’t in control of you, baby! You had to figure him out on your own – and I thought you had. Christ, one minute you want me to step back ‘n let you make up your own mind, next you’re askin’ me why I took you somewhere? The hell am I supposed to do here?”

Read my mind. Don’t let him near me. Don’t let me go.

And at the same time –

Mind your fucking business. Let me make my own decisions. Keep your hands off me.

The truth is: you want him to go back in time. Take you back with him. Never touch you, never look at you any more than to ask for a coffee, or thank you for fixing up his office. Never make your heart skip that first beat, never set your skin on fire with that look in his eyes.

You want him to go back in time, and undo every knot he ever tied in your body. Let go of every string of your heart he has his fist around, every nerve which undoubtedly belongs to him, now.

Undo it all, so you might have a half-decent reason to hate him.

In the deepest, darkest parts of yourself, echoing around the caves you were always too frightened to explore yourself – you want him to tell you why he kept it from you. The real reason. And you want him to grab your wrist and pull you back into the room, back into his arms, when you inevitably flee at the sound of his reasoning.

Because you fucking know why he didn’t tell you. It’s scrawled on his face right now. And even though Jean-Marc is all of those things – sleazy, inappropriate, a scumbag in thousand-euro moccasins – that only makes up for part of the reason.

There’s a bigger piece to the puzzle, and you both know what it is, only neither of you will turn to face it. You’re simply cast in its shadow, playing blind chess under the silhouette of something you both refuse to acknowledge.

“You’re supposed to be my boss, and nothing else.”

He just stares at you. As if he’s waiting for you to say, Kidding! and laugh. As if he’s waiting for what you really mean to shove what you just said out of the way and tell the truth. It hurts all the more.

After a few seconds of awful silence, his breath falls from his lips in the form of a sigh, staggered with a laugh of disbelief. “I don’t…I don’t get it.”

But you’re tired now. You feel drained. You’ve less fight, energy gone to waste before you could make it to the real contest. Kicking his door down and yelling at him over Jean-Marc was the pregame show.

“What don’t you get?” you whisper, slumping back against the arm of the couch.

His answer terrifies you more than anything.

“You.”

You sigh, eyes falling closed in time with the drop of your head. Your breathing labored, your heart pounding. Fear. Adrenaline. Anger. Fear. Fear. Fear.

“You never let me in, did you? All that stuff you told me – your dad, your ex – like you want me to know. Like you’re lookin’ for me to do somethin’ about it. And then when I try, you slam the door closed again.”

“I don’t…I don’t want you to do anything about any of it,” you cry, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes.

Lie number one.

“Then what do you want? Tell me, pretty girl, ‘cause I’m – I’m at a loss here.”

“I want you to – fuck, Joel, why can’t you just –? I want you to back off.”

Two.

“I can’t,” he whispers, leaning closer. “’s the thing. I care ab– I lo– I…”

He rubs his eyes with his palms. Maybe his head hurts as bad as yours does. Maybe the office is becoming too bright for him to look, too.

“You think you’re broken,” he mumbles, “you think all that stuff makes you – I don’t know, what is it? Unlovable?”

There’s a spotlight creeping over you – bright white and burning. Lighting every inch of you up, every dark shadow uncovered. The monsters and the phantoms and the six, eight, twelve-legged beasts scuttling off in search of refuge.

Jeers and cackles from an audience behind him as he cranes the neck of the lamp and positions it right on you.

“Don’t –”

“…Worth nothin’? I don’t know, angel, but I can’t do anything about it if you won’t let me, and –”

“Joel –”

He’s not listening. He never fucking listens. He’s still going on, but your ears are ringing, and your vision is whitening, and your chest is constricting, and your throat is dry and your lungs are closing and your skin is hurting and your –

“What the fuck did you even expect?” you hiss, before your brain catches the words.

Joel halts. He finally stops talking. The room finally dims again. You can hear cars on the street. Your phone is ringing at your desk.

You repeat your question, quieter. Heavier. “What did you want from me?”

He’s frozen. Looks concerned. Looks…afraid of you. “I never wanted anything from you,” he says.

“No? Sure sounds like you wanted something.”

He doesn’t say a word. It gives you time, you think – time you know you should put into backing up, thinking it through, not saying it. But you don’t do any of those things. You fucking say it anyway, don’t you? You are your father’s daughter. The anger is woven into your skin, ivy around your bones. The fire behind your eyes isn’t love, or passion, or determination.

It’s rage.

“Is this what you did to Avery? This why you didn’t wanna marry her?” And then, steeling yourself, gritting your teeth: “What secrets were you keeping from her, Joel?”

He still doesn’t bite. Avery’s not the sore spot, and you know it. There’s a different weakness to him, now. Newer. She’s stood right in front of him.

“I mean,” you scoff, incredulous, “what did you think – that we were gonna end up married or something? AC/DC first dance? Big wedding in Italy, three kids and a fucking prenup to save your ass ‘n your millions?”

You swear you hear the crash from here. The bear hitting the ground, or the door of the Toyota slamming shut, or Joel’s heart falling apart, maybe. He gathers it up, sweeping it into his hands with what little dignity you’ve left him with, straightens, and –

He’s angry. Looks it, sounds it. Feels it. A way you’ve never seen him before – not directed at you, anyway. Accounting, when they fuck up the budget for the year. Jean-Marc, when he flirts with you too much. Never you. He’s never this mad at you.

Like kids in a playground, coming up with the worst, most poisonous insults to throw at one another – your words swing fast, and he only just manages to swerve them, hitting straight back with a punch made up of his own.

“Naw, you’d probably say yes to my face ‘n then break it off two days later, wouldn’t you?”

It’s low. It stings. Shocks the life back into you, once it’s looped twice around your ears.

Joel knows it. Sees the glint in your eye before you have the chance to clear away the tears. Hears the tiny gasp that escapes your lips. The bear just stepped right on top of the snake.

“Fuck,” he says instantly. As soon as the sentence leaves his mouth, he’s undoing it. “That wasn’t – I didn’t mean…” He’s stepping forward, trying to wrap his hand around your arm. “Baby, I’m so sorry –”

Your wrist slips from his grasp. “Don’t – don’t touch me. Don’t.”

“Hey,” he says, almost cooing, almost trying to fan the burn with light breaths, “look at me. Please look at me. I did not mean that, alright? I was just –”

You shake your head, staring off past him. “It’s fine, Joel. No, I knew exactly what you meant.”

He staggers backwards, running his hands through his hair; almost growling into his palms when he drags them down his cheeks. “Darlin’,” he says, and leans in again. He speaks slow and seriously. “I would give you anything. There is not a thing in this world that I wouldn’t do for you. I would do anything. In the whole damn world. This is – It’s not –”

“Anything?” you ask, your stone-set gaze refusing to meet his.

He mirrors your curious expression, his own brows lifting. He can’t believe you’re even asking him. “Yes. Anything. I care about you more than anyone in the fucking world.”

He probably says more to convince you. Probably promises a load of stuff, apologizes a couple more times. Probably says sentences that would lodge themselves between your vertebrae and paralyze you with fear, if your hearing weren’t muffled and your mind elsewhere.

Your shoulders tighten. Jaw ticks. When you pull your eyes to finally meet his, you nod. “Alright,” you interrupt, pursing your lips, “okay.”

“Okay?”

Another nod. Yeah. You’re about to do this. Father’s daughter aren’t you just your father’s daughter always running out always running off –

“This is over. It’s done. You don’t look at me, you don’t touch me, you don’t talk to me unless it’s somethin’ in your job description or mine. Hell, even then – see if Martha can do it before you ask me. We’re done.”

It wipes him clean. Every thought, every desire, every motivation – gone. Dissolved, by the venom seeping from your fangs. No more bear. He stares back at you, eyes glossy, lips trembling. He flattens them against one another, steadies himself. Angry, upset, fucking – heartbroken.

“Is that what you want?” he asks. His voice breaks. It sends a blade through your chest.

You hesitate. Your eyes are searing. Between your tears and the nauseating tilt of the room, you can barely see him.

The third lie rolls from your tongue like a marble.

“Yeah. It’s what I want.”

And you know it, better than anyone: you’re lying through your fucking teeth. The way you have been this entire conversation. Pasting over wounds and scars, bricks laid over sodden sand foundations. But you’re petrified – stood on your own, fighting your own corner. The only person who ever managed to make you feel safe, calm you down, lower your gloves for you – now stood opposite with his fists up, too.

Joel nods. Anything in the whole damn world.

“Fine,” he says, eventually. “Fine. We’re done.”

[https-milo]

Would u mind doing a tamaki amajiki Instagram

my glorious anxious king, yesyesyeysyesy!

DATING TAMAKI AMAJIKI INSTAGRAM!

details!

instagram posts w/ comments while dating Tamaki Amajiki

sunnysidey/n · 15w

1.5k likes Liked by suneater, lemirio, nejirechan

sunnysidey/n me and my fave went to a butterfly garden!! Tamaki my goat (or like octopus, clam, chicken - he's never eaten a goat (I don't think))

Tagged: suneater

suneater it was so fun. it was quiet too. also I've never eaten a goat... sunnysidey/n suneater GAH IKR! It was such a cute little gardennnn ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ I wanted to fall asleep! And I hope you haven't eaten a goat (´∇｀) suneater sunnysidey/n well if you fell asleep, id have to wake you up and you don't usually wake up right away... so we would've been late to fatgum's agency... so I'm glad you stayed away lemirio suneater HMMMMMMM maybeeee its because you liked talking to herrrrrr ★⌒ヽ( ͡° ε ͡°) suneater lemirio well uh you know... sunnysidey/n suneater don't worry, tama!! everyone likes talking to me so obviously!! >3< nejirechan suneater DMSDMSDMSDMS

lemirio Lets gooo!! Tamaki was telling me all about it! He was so excited to take you! sunnysidey/n lemirio I was so excited to go!! Tama is so fun to be around! (´｡✪ω✪｡｀)

INSTAGRAM DIRECT!

lemirio replied to your story: 😏😏😏

sunnysidey/n: he's still gonna deny my attraction 😞😞

nejirechan replied to your story: hmm i wonder who this is about!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

sunnysidey/n: sighhhh we'll never know ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)و ✧

suneater replied to your story: !!!

suneater: uh who is this about?

suneater: sorry you probably dont want me to know

suneater: I wouldnt want me to know

suneater just forget I said anything

sunnysidey/n: tamaaa what did I say about that (╥_╥)

sunnysidey/n: you can talk to me about anything, and you *dont* need to apologize!! ٩(●ᴗ●)۶

suneater: ok im sorry

sunnysidey/n: -_-

sunnysidey/n: anyways! To answer your question; I think you know who I'm talking about (we're in the same class, after all) you've just gotta admit it to yourself ¯\_(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)_/¯

suneater: ok...

suneater: im not ready for that yet

sunnysidey/n: i know tama! dont worry (っ´▽｀)っ

suneater: (.づ◡﹏◡)づ ⊂(・▽・⊂) sunnysidey/n reacted "❤️" to this message

sunnysidey/n: AHHH ITS LITERALLY US!!

sunnysidey/n · 12w

2.1k likes Liked by lemirio, yuyu.haya, nejirechan, suneater

sunnysidey/n being 18 means we can buy fireworks whenever(▀U ▀-͠) happy random day of school guys!!

Tagged: suneater, yuyu.haya, lemirio, nejirechan

nejirechan the way amajiki is looking at your sparkler in worry ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ) sunnysidey/n nejirechan he does have an anxiety disorder, but I can totally be delusional and think he was looking out for me!! ( ˘ ³˘)♥ suneater sunnysidey/n but I was worried... what if it got in your hair? sunnysidey/n suneater UBIUBREIBVLKSDBLIVUHJB sunnysidey/n suneater I mean!! thanks!! <3 lemirio sunnysidey/n he just blushed and put his face in the wall( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

yuyu.haya me you and nejire need to hang out more. it was super fun being with you today nejirechan yuyu.haya OOOO SHOPPING TRIP SOON?? sunnysidey/n nejirechan IM SO DOWN!! TEHEHEH (≧◡≦)

suneater it was so fun. i'm glad you didn't catch on fire sunnysidey/n suneater did you doubt me o(╥﹏╥) suneater sunnysidey/n only a little. you can be forgetful. I was worried you'd forget it was in your hand then scratch your head T_T sunnysidey/n suneater well then I'm glad you were looking out for me <3

suneater · 8w

302 likes Liked by sunnysidey/n, nejirechan, lemirio

suneater y/n just... barged into my room and is making me watch her favorite movies while she pauses every few seconds to analyze the scene (this is our third movie)

sunnysidey/n YOU?? POSTED?? ME?? OH MY GOSH. YOUR FIRST POST IN TWO YEARS AND ITS ME??? suneater sunnysidey/n well, you're the one who's hanging out with me right now. I thought this was worth posting. sorry if thats weird. I'll go home. sunnysidey/n suneater NO SHHHHH ofc its okay!! Im overjoyed rn!! and you cant go home, i'm in your home =^ v ^=

sunnysidey/n no one else listens to me yap like you. mirio always has his own opinions he wants to say, and Nejire changes the subject SOOOO fast. You just listen (＾ω＾)人(＾ω＾) suneater sunnysidey/n i'm glad you like talking to me lemirio sunnysidey/n thats cute and all, but why are we catching strays -_- sunnysidey/n lemirio IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO LIKE INSULT YOU TWO, I WAS JUST SAYING!! I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY VERY VERY MUCH, YOU AND NEJIRE ARE VERY MUCH MY BEST FRIENDS TOO!

INSTAGRAM DIRECT!

You replied to suneater's story: ≧⁰,⁰≦

sunnysidey/n: are you ready?

suneater: i think so...

suneater: im nervous, like more nervous than usual

sunnysidey/n: oh its okay!! i'm super nervous too

sunnysidey/n: we can be nervous together

suneater: okay... can you go first?

sunnysidey/n: ofc

sunnysidey/n: I've liked you since our first year. you just came into my life so naturally I couldn't help it. At first I wanted to tell you right away, but I knew you'd panic and I didn't want to upset you in any way. So I waited and waited until it felt like it was going away, but I guess it never did. I reallyyyyyy like you, Tama.

sunnysidey/n: but are you ready to like me?

suneater: um I've liked you since the autumn semester of our second year... the day you stayed behind with me while everyone went and watched a horror movie because I was too scared. Even though it was a rerun of your favorite... I was so scared to ruin what we had so I didn't say anything.

suneater: this is so embarrassing...

sunnysidey/n: nothing to be embarrassed of ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)و ✧

suneater: you knew I liked you, but you never outright said it... why?

sunnysidey/n: i didn't wanna make you anxious :]

sunnysidey/n: i wanted you to be ready and not have a forced hand in admitting your feelings for me. buttt i couldn't stop myself from posting and admiring you ( ˘ ³˘)♥

suneater: you're effortlessly make me happy without even knowing it... you're so special to me, n/n sunnysidey/n reacted "❤️" to this message

suneater: will you be my girlfriend?

sunnysidey/n: obviously!! <33

suneater: <3

© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!

incase I lost the plot: Y/n liked Tamaki first, Y/n knew Tamaki liked her back but didn't say anything, Tamaki knew Y/n liked him but was nervous so he didn't say anything.

alsooo y/n's quirk in this is smth to do with eggs i guess, hence the "sunny side" (cause yk a sunny side up egg) ((im so creative))

[kvrokasaa]

hi there!! you have wonderful work :) i was wondering if you could write for akaashi, kuroo, and atsumu with a girlfriend who finds out her friends are fake (talking crap, bullying her, etc.). i just wanna know what the boys would do about it. im sorry if this is too specific!

a/n: AHHH my first request!! Don't worry anon, this isn't too specific :), thank you hsjdhsjahdj

Fake Friends

Includes: Akaashi, Kuroo, Atsumu (separately) x Fem!reader

cw: cussing, bullying, spitting, hitting, hair pulling, slapping, implied slapping, corny chemistry joke.

Akaashi wasn't too concerned about friendships, relationships, or anything of the like. That's what he used to think, until he met you.

Before he met you, he would walk home alone, he would only hang out with his team when they celebrated a win. But now he has someone to walk with him, someone to hold when he needs the comfort. He has someone who he can rant to when he needs to.

Those few things are the reasons why he loves you so much. But he wonders if he's ever going overboard when ranting to you. He never hears your side of things, he never hears you complain about things. He wonders why. Maybe you're just not comfortable with sharing?

He finds out the reason after just a few days of worrying.

Akaashi came to pick you up from your class, ready to walk you to your next like usual. But he hears some noises, which isn't out of the ordinary. But he hears girls saying mean things, almost like they're patronizing someone.

And when Akaashi opens the door a little wider, not enough to be seen but enough to see what is going on, he sees you. You're at your seat, head down while your hair covers your face. Three girls surround you.

One points her finger at you, "what gives you the right to think you can blow us off?" She gives you a stern look. But this wasn't something a friend would say, no. She said it in a vial and cruel tone.

"You should know by now that you're nothing but a dog for us."

Another girl laughs at the statement, her hand covering her lips as she looks down at you. The third girl sits on the desk facing you.

"Answer me, you bitch!" The first girl grabs your hair, which makes you look up at her. Tears are flowing down your cheeks.

"Aww, she's crying. Fucking pathetic." The girl sitting on the desk starts laughing at seeing your tears. She puts her hand out, showing her rings to your face, "come on, mutt. You know what to do."

Just as you're about to lean forward to kiss her rings, Akaashi stalks towards the girls and slaps the girl's hand out of your face. He has an angry expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips in a straight line.

"What gives you the right to treat my girlfriend like a dog?!"

Akaashi clenches his jaw. He's seen enough, no wonder why you were always so quick to do something for him. You're used to this kind of treatment.

You look to the side, eyes wide at the seen in front of you. "Keiji, it's not what you think!" Akaashi's head snaps over to you, are you really defending these girls? How long have you been accustomed to this kind of behavior?

But Akaashi doesn't respond, he only grabs your hand and leads you out to the hallway. "Those aren't your friends. Do you understand?"

You can only nod in response, your eyes brimming with tears, afraid that he's mad at you now. But Akaashi pulls you into his chest, hiding your face from anyone who passes.

"Don't let people like that control you, Y/n. You're too good for that."

Kuroo had a goofy smile on his face, ready to tell you another science joke. He knows you hate them, that you cringe every time you hear one. But you still smile at him, you still laugh at his stupid jokes.

He rounds the corner, about to make it down to your street, but he catches sight of five people on the sidewalk in front of him.

Two boys and two girls surround another person that is sitting on the ground. They all have a big smile on their faces as they yell at the fifth person. Kuroo isn't one for confrontation, when he sees something like this happening, he usually just threatens to call their parents or something of the like.

But as he walked closer, he realized that you're the one on the ground, a big, ugly handprint on your cheek. Your head is down, tears streaming down your face. Kuroo can't even imagine how you managed to fall to the ground.

All thoughts leave his mind when he sees one of the boys lean down and spit on your shirt. Kuroo's eyes widen, and he grits his teeth. Did that scumbag really just do that?!

"What makes you think you can be with Kuroo?" He hears one of the girl's voices shouting at you. She points her finger at you and sneers, "did you get with him because you knew I like him? Answer you ugly whore!"

Kuroo grows tired from hearing these words. He walks over to the scene, but not before hearing an insult from one of the boys.

"You're such a fucking pig. Always stealing guys, you'd really let anyone use you, huh." He laughs.

Kuroo starts walking faster, and once he gets to the scene, he grabs the guy's shirt, pulling him back and pushing him. The guy falls to the floor and looks up, he glares at Kuroo.

But before anyone can try to throw a punch or slap, Kuroo grabs your hand and takes off, running down the street.

Once you both get to a safe and secluded place, he immediately pulls you into a hug. Your tears start flowing down your face as you hug him back.

"Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded."

You pull back from the hug and playfully slap Kuroo's chest, "'s stupid." He smiles when he hears you laugh through the tears.

You never thought you would be dating Astumu Miya. You always thought his fangirls were a bit too much, and maybe they'd even threaten you.

But now you're having the time of your life because of him. Every worry ceases to exist when you're around him. He just has that effect on you.

But that doesn't mean his fangirls wouldn't try to hurt you in any way.

Over the time your relationship started, you gained new friends. You didn't recognize them as Astumu's fangirls, so your worries were unfound. Oh, how wrong you were.

One of his fangirls, Hana, managed to squeeze her way into your life. She was nice at first, gaining your trust, making you feel good around her. She was so nice that you considered her your best friend.

But once she gained your trust, she immediately turned against you. She would copy you, steal your clothes when she slept over, blame you for things that aren't your fault - she would do everything in her power to make you feel horrible.

Astumu didn't catch wind of this problem until a few months after it started. At first, he thought that you two were super close. He thought that someone was on your side.

But he knew he was mistaken when he started noticing the signs of her behavior changing. One of the main things he noticed was when you tried to talk, she would interrupt you and start talking about her day or other trivial things. She would take credit for your ideas. She even stole the necklace that he gifted you for your third mensiversary.

Astumu could only sit back and watch you let this happen. He knew that you didn't have many friends, so you didn't want to lose her.

But after a few more months, he knew that he had to put a stop to this. He knew when he saw you looking at yourself in the mirror after your 'friend' told you to lose some weight.

"Astumu would look better with someone who doesn't look like," she paused, "that."

While you were talking to Astumu in your bedroom, he comes over frequently, with your 'friend.' She interrupted you again as she stood up and smiled at him.

"Y/n, just stop talk-"

She was cut off by Astumu's glare, his jaw clenched, and his eyebrows furrowed. He looked pissed, and the girl had her eyes widened at his expression.

"When my girl speaks, you sit and fucking listen."

His tone was harsh, cruel, making the girl sit immediately.

But she couldn't listen to another word, she was scared out of her mind. She huffed and stormed out of your bedroom, grabbing her coat and shoes as she ran off.

protective men protective men protective men protective men!!!! HGSHGHASG

I love when men are protective of their woman!!!

[siasthoughts]

« I'M THE ONE YOU ALWAYS NEED. »

CONCEPT; MORTEFI X F!READER . YOU WENT TO HIM TO ASK HIM TO INVENT SOMETHING.

TOPICS/WARNINGS; USING TOYS . QUICK ORAL (F!RECEIVING) . ATP IDK . NGL THIS FEELS LIKE A DRABBLE . P IN V . PROBABLY OOC

IM PLAYING WUTHERING WAVES AND IM IN LOVE W SO MANY OF THEM N R PLANNING SOME FICS 💞 also should i start writing on ao3 hehe

WORD COUNT; 1.5K

"hey..." you voiced awkwardly as you tapped your knuckles at his open office door, catching his attention. "yes, do you need anything?" he asks, turning towards you and putting down his tablet. you walk into the office nervously, "you said i could ask you if i needed anything made, right?" you questioned, averting your gaze and looking around the room. "yes... i did say that." he looks at you, crossing his arms as he observed your anxious expression. you gulped quietly, swallowing your pride as you really can't seem to find anyone that sells these things... "have you ever made a..."

his eyes widen slightly at your inquiry, a replica of male genitalia? he clears his throat, holding up his fist to his mouth as he took a few moments to think before speaking up, "well no but... i couldn't say that anyone ever asked either." he turns back around to his desk and sends the current hologram he's working on into his drafts before starting a new project, "so... can you?" you asked for reassurance, tilting your head to get a view of the hologram.

he turns to you, leaning on his desk as he looks down at you with rested eyes, you could feel that you've definitely piqued his interest with your 'invention idea.' "have you ever considered just finding someone to be able to..." his voice lowers, "-use the real thing?" he leans down just a bit, but enough for you to get what he's insinuating. "well sure, in a way." you answered, your voice tensing up.

"oh really?" he retreats back, bringing up his hand to push his glasses back, "which person have you thought of?" he interrogated, seemingly trying to pry a certain answer out of you. you look away, staying silent for a few moments he breaks the silence with a small sigh, "well, it's understandable if you wish to not answer. but, i'll try to make that for you. expect it by the end of the day."

he sure works quick. a relieved exhale, even though embarassment still ran through your body, huffs out of your lips as he turns back to his desk. "t-thank you." you stammer nervously as you swiftly made your way out without exchanging any last words with the red haired researcher.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

as you were just getting ready to leave the laboratory, you hear a certain voice call out from behind you. you turn to see a familiar figure with gold-rimmed glasses—mortefi, and he was holding a paper bag.

you feel heat rise to your face as you remember what you just asked of him. "here's what you requested." he walks over to you, holding up the bag as his tablet rested within his other hand. "oh... you really made one." your hands trembled slightly as you took the bag, feeling shame wash over you. "oh, and sorry if it might not be to your best liking, i used... my own as a slight reference." he said as he closed his eyes for a few moments before looking back up at you.

shock runs through you for a few moments before you smiled awkwardly at him, "oh- okay. thanks a lot though!" you tried to force an enthusiastic answer, failing miserable as your voice cracked a bit. "well then, i guess it's time to head home and have fun, no?" he said rather coldly, and with a straight face as he eyed you. well that felt rather insulting. you laughed sheepishly as you clenched onto the paper bag.

you thought about it for a while, if it's like his... why not just use the actual reference?

"sir... have you ever bothered doing these things with someone?" you asked, making the tension even more unbearable and uncomfortable. his eyes narrowed as he looked at you, certain conclusions and thoughts already being formed in his head. "yes, in a way." he answered, seemingly mocking your words from earlier. "then..." you took a small breath, "would you mind using this with me?" your voice shakes as your grip on the bag tightens.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

well fuck.

he now knelt in between your thighs, with your legs over his shoulders, taking in your most sensitive parts as you sat over his desk. "i suppose we need to make your body ready first, right?" he voiced hoarsely, how is he doing this with a stern and cold expression? you swallow a breath as you looked at his calm gaze, "y-yes." you stuttered in a failed attempt to seem composed.

he took off his glasses, and placing it on his cold table before placing a warm, wet kiss onto your core, making your body shiver. you looked down at him as he strategically worked his mouth around you. he held onto your thighs, keeping you stable as his tongue gently worked around your folds, preparing your body and riling up it's appetite. your legs lock his head within your thighs, pulling him closer to your pussy. "mm..." he groaned out, making him frown a bit though he didn't really... dislike it.

"sorry..." you mumbled quietly, loosening your grip as he pulls back, and getting back up "it's very much okay and reasonable." he assures as he reaches for the bag and takes out it's contents. you shift your gaze to what's now in his hands, he used his own as reference?! it was lengthy, and he brought it down to your already wet cunt. "are you ready?" he asked, positioning the dildo against your drooling pussy, "yes." you whined quietly, looking down at the silicone toy.

"alright, i'm gonna do it slowly, okay?" he assured, his voice was low as he slowly pushed it in, starting with the tip. he kept his attention down towards your hole, observing the way it clenched desperately around the fake cock. he clenched his jaw as he slowly pushed it further, earning him a small moan from you as he felt his pants tighten. well shit.

he notices the now growing bulge in his pants as he pushes the entire thing into you gently, "is it okay?" he asks, looking back up at your now pleasure-washed face. it turned him even more. "absolutely..." you responded breathily as you looked down to see his aching cock hiding under the fabric of his pants. "i'll move it now." he thrusted the toy in and out slowly, hearing the wet noises as your pussy resisted against the movement.

he groans, feeling extremely jealous of the silicone figure within his hands. you moaned at the sensation electrifying you, shooting shots of pleasure into your veins as his hands sped up. your body shook as he started to get rougher, now slamming it into you as a knot formed quickly within your core.

"i-i'm getting close..." you mewled out as your legs instinctively closed themselves, and your back arching as his hand kept themselves on your hip to keep you stable. you cry out as you feel the pleasure wash over you, that knot breaking apart as you feel warm liquid spill out of your pussy, making your legs weak. "ah..." he muttered as he slowly pulled it out, feeling the fabric encasing his own heat now tighten even more as it hurts.

you look down at it, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you look up at him, "better if it's the real thing, no?" you said with a dazed laugh as you wrap your legs around his waist. "is this permission?" he asks with eager eyes as he put the dildo aside and his hands slowly undid his pants. "mhm..." you hummed, and even though you just finished, you felt excited for the real thing.

he laughed quietly as he let his pants fall a bit, revealing his twitching dick. it was desperate for your gaping hole, the way it squeezed on the dildo made him all frustrated for some reason. he wanted to feel it for himself. "i'm sorry, dear, i can't wait." he apologizes before pushing himself slowly but firmly into you. he groans at the feeling, your walls tightened against him and sending his body into euphoria as he feels his control over his body slowly dissipate.

you let out a staggered breath, though the smile returns to your lips as you find it in you to make some teasing remarks. "feels good, doesn't it?" you whisper as your hand moves up to cradle his face. "yes..." he says huskily as he couldn't find the strength to move. "what's wrong? why can't you move?" you voiced rather condescendingly as you start to circle your hips against him.

he frowns as his body twitches at your motion, with his grip on your waist deepening. you feel his fingers dig into your soft skin, making you feel a bit confident of your skills. mortefi hisses through his teeth as he slowly started to move, his length leaving your insides empty for a few moments before burying himself back inside you.

a small cry escapes your lips as you feel his cock fill your empty hole, and your body reacts as if it was running on desire. you reach for his back, your arms travel down his waist, stopping just at the hill of his hips. you push him further into you as sounds of pleasure quickly filled the room, echoing through the empty walls. you're both so lucky that everybody's gone.

you claw at his clothes, feeling as if you were ripping the white fabric apart, you whine out his name as you feel that familiar feeling boil up within your body. and you were sure he could feel it too. "are you close?" you asked breathily as his pace started to speed up, rougher, and harder. "so... tight." he frowns as he ravishes in the pleasure, letting it devour him as he continues to ram himself into you.

"i'm so close-" he scowls, his other hand roaming the skin of your stomach as he takes in the view under him. your vision slowly fades to white as you feel your mind go blank, losing your control over your body as you feel that sensation shatter, sending shards of pleasure all across your body. your body uncontrollably trembles under his touch as he pulls out swiftly with a groan and pressing his dick against your cunt, grinding into his climax.

you feel a sticky, warm liquid spill across your stomach and the soft plush of your pussy.

okay it's all up to u now guys 🤑

you have reached the end of this post

→ HOME?

[fcthots]

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE BOOBS ASK…. i hope you’re not too overwhelmed w asks rn btw :-) take some time for yourself ok? we won’t mind.

also please take a moment to consider jason falling asleep on you. like, normally he wouldn’t fall asleep around anyone, especially by accident. he’s so guarded bc of everything that happened to him but he feels so safe around you that it just sorta… happens and he falls asleep on you. you make him feel safe in ways he hasn’t felt in a long, long time and it makes him very happy. and sleepy.

-🧸

PART 3 of TATTOOARTIST!JASON

This is a prequel to part 2!

You're in Jason's kitchen, baking. He's supposed to bring cookies to the manor tomorrow but he's had a very long day with client after client after client. Not to mention the scandal with the press. One of his brothers apparently got caught making out with someone, information he did not want to know, but the press got ahold of pictures and swarmed him on his way home. A shitty end to a shitty day.

But you knew his schedule and came to his rescue with cookie supplies in hand. He shouldn't have to worry about it after the day he's had. You want to take care of him. He deserves it.

Jason's never fallen asleep in front of you. You've napped with your head against his chest and his arms shielding you from the world, but Jason has clarified with you: he doesn’t fall asleep in front of other people. He grew up in crime alley, you got it. You understood. He told you that it wasn't you; it was him. All fine and dandy.

He's watching The Office in the living room, laying on the couch. He's laid back, burrito'ed in a blanket you bought him for his birthday. To be honest, his eyes are closed and he's not really listening to the TV. He's listening to you hum some song you're listening to in your headphones. The blanket is so soft and the atmosphere is so cozy. Your presence is just so calming and the whole apartment smells like cookies.

He can't help falling asleep.

Jason can't remember the first half of his dream, but he remembers the second half. There's blood, dim warehouse lights, a ticking timer. The timer goes off and he can't breathe. He's choking on smoke or air; he can't be sure. He can hear his name while he suffocate-.

"JASON"

He finally looks at you, his eyes brimming with tears. He tries to speak but he just can't get the words out. He's still struggling to breathe. You jump over the couch and hold his face in your hands.

Bringing his face to your chest, you apologize. "Shit. I'm so sorry, Jay. I set a timer for how long the cookies needed to cool before I could pick them up. I didn’t know."

He doesn’t say anything for a long time, just matches your breaths. Eventually he turns his head to the side. You think he's trying to pull back, but when you pull away, he latches onto you, finally speaking.

"Wait."

You bring your arms back up around his neck while he finishes catching his breath. Your hands rub soothing circles into his back until he pulls away to look at you, not saying anything. You break the silence.

"You okay?"

"...tired"

"Do you wanna go to bed?" You feel his shoulders tense up.

"Don't wanna be alone." You tighten your arms around him.

"I'll go lay down with you."

He pulls his face away from your chest and averts his gaze. He slowly nods his head.

You grab his hand and lead him into his bedroom. He lets go of your hand to grab the remote off the nightstand. You sit down with your back against the headboard and take the remote when he hands it to you.

You finish putting The Office back on when you notice he's staring at you sheepishly, not sitting down. He isn't quite meeting your eyes and it takes you a second to catch on. You toss the remote to the side and pat one of your thighs while bending the other knee to make a cushion for his head. .

"C'mere."

He wastes no time laying down, hugging your leg, and burying his face in your thigh. When he looks unsure of himself, you move your eyes to the screen and begin running your fingers through his hair. He slowly drifts off and you make sure to turn off all your alarms and change the sound.

You'll keep him safe.

edit: part 3.5 here

[becomingmina]

hey would you be able to write a felix x fem reader angst? when felix falls out of love with her.

“ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT HATE?" anon request w/ LEE FELIX.

pairing: felix x female reader genre + warnings: angst, reader cries wc: 1.9k mina's note: tmi - my ex fell out of love with me so this hits home a little. we meet when we were 12 and we broke up when we were 21. anyways, i hope you guys like this :)) and to the cuties anon who requested this, thank you very much!! sorry for making you wait, im just like felix i have no reason!

other works here ; any comments and thoughts you can drop them here ; ty for reading.

“I asked you a question baby,” you say from across the kitchen island. Felix was occupied on his phone, sitting on the stool on the other side of the counter.

“I gave you an answer Y/N,” he huffs after a few seconds, not lifting his head from the device.

“Yeah, but not verbally though,” you make your way over to him.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’re grown enough to figure it out, Y/N,” he replies back, rolling his eyes up from his screen for a second before continuing with scrolling.

“You’re really fine with them being blue?” You questioned again, hugging him from behind, your chin resting on his shoulder.

“They’re just cupcakes, they’ll get eaten anyways. I don’t understand what’s the big problem with the colour of the icing,” he says irritated.

It was Chan’s turn to host dinner for your friend group. You and Felix usually bring over homemade cupcakes for dessert. It was a ritual to spend every last Saturday of the month together in the kitchen baking and decorating two dozen cupcakes. And usually, it was Felix who would have a hard time choosing the colour for the icing but today it seems he just wanted to get the cupcakes over and done with.

“Okay,” you replied defeated, feeling a little hurt at his tone. “Did you wanna help me?” You softly asked, sniffing his shoulder to take in his sweet scent.

“I’m busy,” Felix sighed.

“Okay, I’ll iced them then,” you moved yourself away Felix, walking back to your original position in the kitchen.

Lately you feel like Felix hasn’t been his clingy needy self. He would stick onto you like glue every second of the day but recently he’s been distant. You can’t pinpoint when exactly it became like this, but you were sure it’s been a couple of weeks by now. He’s been telling you that work has been busy for him, and you understand how it can affect him, but you still feel a little bit downhearted when he visually shows his annoyance with you.

After finished up with the icing and getting yourself ready, you sat in living room with the box of cupcakes on your lap patiently waiting for Felix. He had locked himself in the office, saying he needed to go over his feedback for some report for work.

“Hey, how’d it go?” You ask when you hear the office door open, but he ignores your question as he searches for his car keys. You expected it didn't go well.

The car ride to Chan’s was silent as you figured you should probably give him some space. He looks over to your side a couple of times noticing your quietness, but he doesn’t strike conversation with you, only making a few little comments about how bad traffic was. You brushed off his lack of initiative making excuses for him that he was just tired from work.

“He surprised me the other day! He’s going to rent out my favourite art gallery for our wedding reception,” Hana and Hyunjin was giving the group details their upcoming wedding at dinner. They were so cheerful talking about it and although you loved it for them, you couldn’t help envy it and wished for you and Felix to reach that stage in life shortly.

“Who’s next? Felix? Y/N?” Chan teased with a raised brow, and you goofily smile at the older man. You turned your head to Felix to see his reaction, but his head is tilted down and his face was straight. Chan notices the tension and quickly changes subject hoping no one else catch on. It caught you by surprise that he wasn’t as responsive as you were to Chan’s joke. It got you second guessing if it was even work that’s been making him like this.

You spend the rest of the night with the other girlfriends. As they spoke about their recent dates with their partner, all you could do was be happy for them concealing the fact that you and Felix hadn’t been on one in ages. You keep glancing over at Felix throughout the night but he showed you no attention. Usually you would catch him staring at you and blowing kisses and winks at you, but tonight there was nothing.

The car ride home was the same as the car ride there - quiet.

Felix walked in your apartment first, you followed behind him closely. As you put your bag on the entry way table you tripped over a pair of shoes accidentally falling forward on Felix in the process.

“Y/N watch yourself!” Felix yells, clearly annoyed.

“Sorry,” you softly say as you got up. “I just tripped,” you defend yourself, feeling tears start to form in your eyes at his tone.

“God can you look where you’re going?!” he groans turning around to face you. He was red mad. He had never got this angry at you before for tripping over.

“Did I do something wrong to you Felix?” You asked softly, feeling something heavy in your chest. You needed an answer to why he’s been treating you differently, it’s obvious now that it wasn’t because of work. “Last couple of weeks you have just been distant towards me and I’m a little hurt by it,” you say cracking your voice in the process, pulling a string on Felix’s heart. He frowns at your reaction.

You watch him sigh, hesitating little bit before he answers “You know work is hectic-”

“-Is it?” You questioned in an offended tone, dumbfounded that he used the same excuse again - work. “Work is hectic that you have to yell at me because I accidentally tripped on your shoes? Work’s been hectic that you can’t even smile at me in front of our friends? Work’s been hectic that you can’t even answer a simple question about the colour of the icing on the cupcakes that use to mean so much to you?!”

You didn’t expect to have an outburst like this. Felix doesn’t reply, he just takes a deep breath watching you as you continue to lash out at him.

“You don’t ask if I’m okay anymore. You don’t hug me anymore. Because of work?” You chuckle, sarcastically.

“Y/N-” he takes a step closer to you.

“-You’ve leave for work early in the morning and come back home late on the days I’m at home-”

“I-” he tried to speak again.

“And when it’s the weekend you lock yourself in the office all day. You avoid spending time with me, you avoid talking to me.” Your face was red, brows furrowed as you keep your tears from falling.

“Y/N, let me talk-”

“What did I do to-” You cut him off again.

“I’m not inlove you anymore!” Your heart drops at his words. The tears you tried to conceal instantly rolls down your cheeks and you take in a sharp breath. “This relationship is draining me.” He adds, breaking you even more.

You didn’t expect this. He’s been so mean to you lately all because he wasn’t in love you anymore? It doesn’t make sense to you that all of this was done because he fell out of love. You refuse to believe it.

“Are you sure it’s not hate?” You sniffled, pulling another string from Felix’s heart. "Are you sure it's not because you hate me?" you repeat yourself when he doesn't answer, feeling a bit anxious that it might be true, that he actually hates you.

“Never.” Felix replied rapidly this time, his tone a lot more softer now. “I could never hate you Y/N." Felix continues to conceals his emotions, not letting anything pass you.

“But you’ve been acting like you do.” You wiped your tears with the back of your hand, your eyes wavering to seek any reaction from him.

“I just needed space Y/N.”

“I gave you space. So much space,” you retorted.

“I think we should..” he stops before he says the last words, letting you piece the puzzle by yourself.

“You want to leave me?” You question and he flicks his eyes away from yours. You got your answer.

He lets out a heavy breath, running his fingers through his blonde hair, his eyes falling back on yours. “It’s for the best Y/N.”

“No, I don’t understand. Where I go wrong, Lix?.” you reached out to grip his forearm as the tears continued down your face, dripping to the floor.

“I don’t want to be here with you anymore,” he says softly, trying to loosen himself from your hold but you latch onto him tighter as you shake your head no.

“That’s not a reason Lix. Tell me where I went wrong,” You needed answers. He owe it to you. “You were the one who chased me, remember? You made me fall in love with you. It’s been 4 years and you want to leave me? Why?” You asked, in a complete mess.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “I’m sorry Y/N,” Felix apologies.

“Tell me why?”

“I can’t-”

“Then stay.” If he didn’t have an answer then he shouldn’t leave you, it’s unfair.

Y/N,” he says firmly.

“Just for one night,” you say, taking in a deep breath. “You can leave when I fall asleep,” you surrendered, eyes wavering waiting for his answer. “Please,” you beg.

“Y/N.. Baby I can’t,” it was the first time he called you that in a while and your heart breaks once more. He stopped calling you that and started calling you by name for months now. How is it that you never noticed until now.

“I’ll let you go when I fall asleep.. Please..Just love me one last time, Felix.”

Felix contemplated. He stared at you. Your glossy eyes. Your runny nose. Your red cheeks. He watches your chest rises up and down as you tried to control yourself. He hates seeing you cry, he hates seeing you hurt. It breaks him. He gives in. “Okay.”

He has you on pulled up flushed on him on your shared bed, your legs tangled with his. Your face pressed again his chest as one of his hand is wrapped around your waist and the other traces nothings up and down your back. Your tears haven’t stop, they fall effortlessly out of your eyes on his shirt. You stay quiet. You want to talk. You have so many questions to ask. So many things you want to know. But you stay quiet because you know Felix won’t answer you. So instead you stare into nothing as you replay back your happiest memories with Felix. You can’t help the small smile that is pulled on your face as you remember everything, every detail of everyday with him.

You tried you best to stay awake but you feel your eye lids closing. You don’t want to give in to sleep because you know by the time you wake up, he’ll be gone. But you’re exhausted, both your body and mind.

Felix stares up at the ceiling. He’s guilty. He owes you a reason, he owes you answers but he keeps quiet. He replays back memories but he doesn’t have the same reaction as you. He doesn’t smile. He cries instead. Tears run down his face as you recalls the soft and sweet memories with you. How could he do this to you? How could he make you fall in love with him then walk out like this? How could he say he was no longer in love with you?

Felix doesn’t hear your sniffles anymore. He feels your breathing evens out with his body. You had fallen asleep in his arms.

Felix presses a kiss to your temple, his arm still holding your waist tightly.

“I’m sorry.”

[carmenberzattosgf]

hi it’s 💫 again so sorry for flooding your inbox i just have too much time on my hands so let’s chat about needy carmen :)

he’s definitely a little shy about it at the beginning of the relationship. long, lingering stares and fidgeting with his hands. would probably try playing it cool until he knows you’re in the mood too.

once he’s more confident and comfortable, his hands would be on your waist and hips. giving you ‘please fuck me’ eyes. if he’s not THAT needy he’d be a little silly i think saying shit like “baby please, you just look too good!” “giving me blue balls—im kidding, im kidding! yeesh☺️”

if he is super needy though…he’s cuddled up into your side like he’s trying to melt into you, lips curled into a little frown. “can i have you?” “need you…missed you so much today” “baby just need you so bad”

I told you never apologize for flooding my ask box! Your stuff makes my brain go brrr like AH. ilysm and I love how you think about Carmy!

needy Carmen. Yes. Now that he’s in a relationship he just wants you so bad. Like all the time. He’s had so few romantic relationships he’s still learning how to balance it all.

But! He’s so shy at first he doesn’t know if you are feeling up to it right now and he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. That leads to him not so subtly staring you down while you sit on the couch in his apartment, scrolling through your phone while a show plays in the background.

The first thing you notice is his knee bouncing up and down rapidly. Next his staring becomes more apparent, and the way he’s fighting with his fingertips.

“Something wrong, Carm?” He blinks at your words. Almost like he’s caught off guard himself.

“W-what? No. I’m fine.”

“You sure about that?” You lean closer to him, letting your hand rest on his knee, soothing its shaking. “What is it, baby?”

“Fuck—“ A strangled groan leaves his throat. Your eyes dart down to the bulge growing in his sweatpants. You crawl over him, letting your knees part so you can straddle his hips. Carmy’s hands settle on your waist, holding on tight.

“You want me? Is that why you’re all tense? You gotta tell me before you get like this, sweetheart.”

“W-want you. Please.”

The longer you and Carmen date though, the more confident he becomes. He’s completely unashamed of how much he loves you… and your cunt. Carmy gets sooooo pussy drunk it’s not even funny.

When he catches you all dressed up for a work event, he can’t keep his hands off of you. “Fucking hell— you’re so pretty,” he mumbles into the skin of your neck, pressing you into the bathroom counter where you were getting ready.

“Carm— I need to go I’m going to be late.”

“C’mon, baby. I’ll be fast. I can make you cum in five minutes. I won’t let anything get on your clothes. I promise. Please.” His hand slips underneath your dress, pressing against your soaked underwear. “You’re already soaked for me. Let me make you feel good. Please, baby.”

Carmen is indeed fast. He bends you over the bathroom counter and pounds onto you like there’s no tomorrow. His fingers work fast on your bud, drawing fast circles. He also doesn’t let anything get in your clothes because as soon as he cums inside of you, he falls to his knees to clean you up with his tongue.

Now while his confidence grows in your relationship, he also becomes more okay with just how needy he actually is. He just loves your touch. He loves how your skin feels against his. How you two fit together perfectly.

On this particular day, Carmen has the day off, while you don’t. You get home late to Carmen already in bed. Thinking he’s asleep, you walk over to the other side of the bed and slip under the covers, ready to go to sleep.

However, that’s when Carmen rolls over and wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your skin. “Missed you today.” He’s basically melting into you, desperate to be touching as much of you as possible. “Don’t like it when you’re not here.”

“I know, baby. I couldn’t get anyone to cover for me.”

“C-can I have you?” The desperation in his words draws your attention to the hardness poking into your ass. Little whimpers leave his mouth as his hips naturally rock into you. “Need you so bad, please. Missed you so much.”

“Carm, have you been like this all day?” He nods his head against your shoulder blade.

“I—uh. I had a dream about you, but when I woke up you had already left. I didn’t want to get off without you. Wanted you— wanted your cunt.”

“You have me, baby. Go ahead.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love you so much.” His hands shake as he pulls down your underwear and then his own. Carmy doesn’t waste time to take off your shirt, he just needs to be inside you.

Carmy fucks you slow. His pace isn’t hurried, focusing more on deep thrusts. The entire time he’s flooding your ear with praise. “F-fuck, baby. So fucking good. You’re so good to me. I-it’s like I’m made for you—“ He whines when you press on the small of his back, forcing his cock even deeper inside of you. He hits a spot that makes stars explode across your vision.

“Carmy— shit! Please, right there. Just like that, fuck—“ you weave your fingers in his hair, tugging at the roots. Carmy’s slow messy pace continues, but it’s perfect. His thumb begins to circle your clit as his cock keeps hitting deep inside you.

“I-I’m getting close baby— love you. Fuck. I love you so much. Going to fill you up till you’re dripping. You’re mine, my beautiful girl.”

“Y-yours, Carm. Always yours.”

And yes he cums inside of you and you cockwarm him to sleep. Ain’t no way he’s going to pull out of you now. You couldn’t care less. With Carmen on top of you like this, you’ve never felt more safe. Clean up can wait till the morning

[gepardling]

I saw your blog and I love your writings sm🫶 Glad to see a fellow Gepard simp (JGKFKRJSHA HE'S SO HOT)

Going to my request, if you are fine with smut requests, is it okay for me to request husband!Gepard and spouse!gn!reader, featuring breeding kink and manhandling? It's up to you how you want to write how the story goes, surprise me 👀

Anyways, make sure to take care of yourself as well, stay hydrated, and thank you sm!!

happy anniversary w/ gepard.

desc. : im so srry for my mini-hiatus, my schedule is spaghetti ;p my mind was lowkey still buzzing abt the museum event, n i needed a good hook for da story okay !! to me, marriage means becoming a family, so i used dat to set the scene :) am also working on improving gn!reader smut so i hope i did good here ( wc : 1.9k )

tags / cw : nsfw, gn!reader, pretty fluffy i think, oral, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!), top!gepard, bottom!reader, aftercare, manhandling, breeding (I HOPE I DID THESE RIGHT, I'M SUCH A VANILLA PERSON), not proofread !

Gepard couldn’t help but wonder if he was cut out for fatherhood, given his past encounters with children. It seemed that whenever he interacted with little ones, they either burst into tears at the sight of him or found themselves quickly bored by his serious demeanor. As such, he had never entertained the idea of having a family of his own – not until he met you, at least.

You had a habit of taking Gepard’s entire world and turning it upside down, making him question everything he thought he believed up until that point. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, and he quickly found himself drawn to your open-mindedness. Spontaneity was something that Gepard lacked in his life, and you delivered everything he needed and more. 

It wasn’t long before the two of you had married, and everyone knew it was a long time coming. No one could soften up the strict Captain like you could, especially when you manage to catch him off guard. Just the other day, Gepard's heartstrings were thoroughly scrambled when he saw you guiding a group of children through the museum. The way you handled the kids was beyond Gepard, and you taught history in a way that they understood, even enjoyed. 

After another one of your museum shifts, you and Gepard were relaxing at home. It was the evening of your first anniversary, having been married for a year. Gepard was immersed in a book, your head rested on his shoulder as you arranged your thoughts. Which is what brought you to this point. Here, in your shared home, you decided to finally raise the question. 

“You know,” you began softly, your voice carrying a mixture of wonder and uncertainty. “I can’t help but imagine… What if we had children?” Gepard’s demeanor instantly shifted, a fleeting tension washing over his body. Sensing his unease, you hurriedly backtracked. “I’m sorry, you don’t want to… And that’s okay!”

But before the words could fully escape your mouth, Gepard’s reassuring touch met your hand, his eyes filled with warmth. “No, not at all,” he assured. “You simply caught me off guard…” There was an excited tone to his voice, but some uncertainty still lingered deep beneath the surface. 

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you absorbed Gepard’s response. “I think it would be amazing,” you uttered, a dreamy lilt decorating your tone. Gepard’s fingers gently traced the wedding band adorning your finger, and he was instantly reminded of your wedding, how radiant you looked as you stood before him. The image of you, eyes filled with unwavering devotion, etched itself permanently in his heart.

Your gentle laughter caressed his ears as your hand cupped his cheek, pulling him back from his daydream. “Don’t worry, we can wait until you’re ready,” you replied, softly pecking him on the lips. “There’s no rush, after all.” But between your gentle touch and his devotion towards you, all this family talk was getting Gepard a little hot beneath the collar.

He was sure you were aware of it too – your touches growing tantalizingly slow as your lips lingered longer and longer on his. With that same old mischievous glint in your eyes, you took the book from Gepard’s hands and set it on the table across from you. You snaked your arms around his neck, gently shifting yourself into his lap.

"What are we still sitting out here for?" You whispered, forehead pressed against his own. "It's our anniversary after all." Gepard's hands slowly came to rest on your hips, a rosy hue spread across his cheeks. You brought your hands down from his neck, opting to work open the first few buttons of his shirt. Dipping your hands beneath the fabric, Gepard shuddered lightly at your cold touch.

He moved his hands from your hips to your wrists, gently gripping them. "Not on the couch," he breathed. Of course, same old Gepard. That's one rule that's never changed for the whole three years you've been with him. You gave him a quick peck on the nose, followed by a mock salute. Gepard smiled in return, uttering "Your form is off," before scooping you up in his arms. 

Your surprise was quickly muffled by his lips on yours, his kiss filled with love and devotion towards you. He made quick work of whisking you off to the bedroom, lightly tossing you onto the soft mattress of your shared bed. You could barely sit up before he was leaning over you, covering your body with his large frame. 

"We're not on the couch anymore, are you happy?" You teased, smiling up at him mischievously. Gepard only rolled his eyes in response, lowering his head to kiss you once again. It was deeper this time, only growing more heated as your hands continued to undress him. Before you could undo his belt, his grip on your wrist stopped your ministrations. 

"Allow me," he replied, moving to undress you instead. He wedged his knee between your thighs, pushing them open before laying between them. He kept his arms wrapped around your legs, preventing you from closing them again. When he dipped his head between your thighs, you could only gasp at the feeling of his mouth on your heat. 

Gepard had more than enough practice over the last few years, and that much was evident. His skilled tongue worked across your sex, rolling over your most sensitive parts. The sensation of his hot mouth caused little stars to spot your vision, nails gripping the sheets so tight you were sure you'd rip them. Your gasps were like music to his ears, only fueling the fire deep within. 

His slicked fingers worked you open, gently scissoring your hole. Your back arched at the feeling as Gepard carefully prepared you, sparks of pleasure dashing across your body. But as the buildup started to reach its peak, mere seconds before your vision could go white and the fires of release consumed you, the sudden loss of his fingers and mouth left you cold and empty. The sensation immediately dissipated, fading into obscurity. 

Your breathing was ragged as your body attempted to come to terms with the orgasm you never had, blinking away the stars that dotted your vision. "W-Wait," you whispered, raising yourself onto your elbows. "Why'd you st-" But just as the words were about to leave your mouth, Gepard had turned you around onto your stomach, hand resting on your upper back. His free hand hurriedly worked to release his cock from the confines of his pants, as he pressed gentle kisses to the skin of your shoulder blades. 

Before you could complain again, he sunk his member deep into your heat. The weight of his body suspended above yours only added to the pleasure, slowly thrusting in sync with the rhythmic contraction of your walls. Each thrust was coupled with the soft grind of his hips, slowly working you back up to your pleasure point. He took his time, butterfly kisses dotting the back of your neck and ears. 

"Gepard…" You sighed, to which he replied with a soft hum. While you sincerely enjoyed his languid pace, you needed something more to soothe the ache in your loins. You pressed back against him, breathing a quiet “Faster,” to which he replied with a chuckle. Gepard slipped two fingers between your lips, hushing you with quiet whispers. 

You swirled your tongue around his digits, the cool metal of his wedding band contrasting the warmth of your mouth. When he pulled back his hand, a small whine escaped your lips, but your breath soon hitched in your throat as he suddenly increased his pace. He kept his hand pressed down on your lower back, preventing you from bucking back against him as he took you at his own pace. 

The way his cock slammed into you left you gasping for air, brushing against your deepest pleasure points. The heat was rising exponentially, drawing the knot in your belly tighter and tighter with each thrust. Gepard’s lips met the back of your ear, gently pressing kisses to the side of your head. As your cries intensified, you buried your face in the closest pillow you could reach, desperate to muffle the throes of your passion. 

But Gepard didn’t like the way you tried to hide, and he was quick to swipe the pillow from your hold. He pulled out in the process, and you whined at the sudden loss of contact. The heat from your core dissipated once again, and your orgasm fizzled out of reach a second time. Before you could make your disdain known, his hands gripped your hips to turn you around onto your back. 

At your gasp of surprise, his hands met your knees, pushing your thighs up against your chest. He buried himself back in your core, and the roughness of his actions made you wail into your palm. Gepard lowered himself to your face, prying your hand away with his own to clash his lips against yours. You reciprocated the kiss, interlocking your fingers with his. He swiped his tongue against your lower lip, to which you opened your mouth, your tongue meeting his. 

When he pulled back, your lips chased his, breaking the delicate string of saliva between you. Your chest heaved as you tried to regain your breath, tiny tears dotting your vision. You felt like you were melting in his hold, the heat of the moment escalating far beyond your limits. Your sighs were like music to Gepard’s ears as he made love to you, consummating your marriage a second time.

The hand from your thigh moved down to your abdomen, pressing into the skin to feel the way he moved inside of you. He gripped your hand tighter, slightly increasing the pace to chase his orgasm. His cock glided effortlessly, bruising your deepest parts as you sang him praise. The pressure rose even higher in your core, building on your previously denied release. 

Amidst his passion, Gepard managed to grunt out a quiet “Where do you want it?” ghosting his lips along the side of your face. You managed to compose yourself just enough to answer, barely squeaking out “Inside,” before another moan tore itself from your throat. Gepard’s hands came to rest on your thighs again, burying himself impossibly deep in your core.

The sensation of his load warming you from within sent you over the edge as well, whispers of his name escaping your lips as your nails dug into his arm. Sparks of electrifying bliss enveloped your body, walls clenching around his cock. Gepard rode out his high, gently grinding his hips against yours. His lips met yours again, this time kissing you much softer than before. 

When he pulled away, some of his cum dripped from your core. You finally released your iron grip on his hand, sitting up to meet him at eye-level. “Why don’t we go get cleaned up,” you asked, your hand cupping the side of his face. Gepard hummed in approval, turning his head to place a kiss on your palm. 

“I think a bath would do,” he spoke, pulling you off the bed and into his arms. Though you weren’t really sure how much cleaning you’d actually get done. All in all, any time you got to spend with your beloved husband was a win in your books.

(melts) i saw a ballet concert, had my hair done, went out w/ my dad nd played league wit my friends. nun of these activities allowed me 2 write my smutty smut dis week waahhhh hopefully back on schedule now :') i tried 2 write dis extra long as an apology, also referenced multiple online sources 4 gn!smut 2 attempt 2 educate myself........

[su0su]

phone call.

sub!hanjisung x dom!fem!reader.

warnings below the cut!

angst/smut

wc: 1,941

WARNINGS: oral (m.receiving) make up sex? dunno lol. ma'am kink (only said like once)) uhhhh jisung is abit pervy hehe.

couldn't get this thought out of my head, so i had to share it with youssss🙏🏻🙏🏻

this is my first ever drabble!! im sorry if there are any errors!!

"look i... i dont think we could work.. we are both overworked and i dont think this is good for us." your weakened tone of voice blurring out from his end of his phone. your excuse to break up was hurting you. you were down into ur negative thoughts, thinking he doesnt love you because you're never home. work always takes both of you away from eachother, and you despise it.

jisung was walking back from work. it was cold outside and wet due to the rain. he stopped his tracks shocked. his eyes rounded with startledness as his hand began to tremble holding the phone to his ear. he mouth was agape.

"what..?" he choked up, as he was trying to understand what was going on, still confused and shocked.

"ji im sor— i want to see you in person, y/n.. tell me this in person! p-please.. i need- i need to see you." he cuts you off, he was felt like he was dreaming. his chest felt like he was getting stabbed, a pain he never knew he could feel just from a few words.

his mind was asking so much questions but he just couldn't get them out, his mouth was just open willingly to say something but couldnt. its like time has stopped for him.

"w-where are you? at home? please dont leave me like thi—im at home." you werent ready to see him hurt. you didnt know what to do without him. so why are you doing this? you didnt even know, you were just scared.

"im gonna hang up. please dont do anything stupid, yeah? stay home, and we can talk about this, okay? " he shuddered. the thick, cold air was burning his nose and cheeks.

"okay..." he could hear your small sniffing through the phone. he couldnt bare it. he needed to see you.

he hung up and made his way quickly back home. his feet moved swiftly on the wet concrete making a squelch with every step.

after running a few miles, he has met up with the front door. he bent down abit to catch his breath, his hand on his knees choking up some air to calm down. his lips are chapped and his chest was heaving. the thickness of the air was too much on him. making him gasp for air every second.

he got up and brang his hand to the door to knock. before he even knocked, the door opened quickly, a presence hugging him tightly and pulling him inside. jisung was taken aback, he didnt know what to do.. as you hugged him, he grabbed your chin to see your face.

his heart shattered. your face was all puffy, and your eyes were filled with tears. your pretty face stained. he couldnt help it but burst out in tears too and pulled you into him, his arms wrapping around your head to hold you more.

as you both weep in eachother brace, you both calmed down, breathing slowly together and waiting for anyone to build up courage to speak up. you both broke the brace. he looked at you to realise you were wearing a skimpy singlet with no bra, and only in your panties, his face started to burn up. he then threw those inappropriate thoughts out of his head after hearing your hurt voice, making him feel upset again, instantly forgetting about those dirty thoughts.

"Im sorry... i just.. didnt know what to do anymore and- and—.... i just cant handle it.. i cant handle you being alone for so long without me. you barely see me at home. you fall asleep alone and i hate that you wake up with just yourself... im sorry i–i just.. sorry.. i hate leaving you.. and i cant stop getting hurt by this.. im sorry that everytime i get home, im so r-rude and mean, i just—" you get cut off by his lips on yours. you didnt expect that. his soft palms gently cup ur cheeks. deepening the kiss as your whimpers cry out from it.

"i love you, y/n. i dont care that you're barely here at home with me. all i care about is that im with you. i love you so much, so please y/n dont be so harsh on yourself. im okay with you not being here because of work. im just glad i have you. i love you, okay? i would never stop loving you." his voice is strained and raspy. his tears are stained on his cheeks as his sparkling brown wide eyes look into yours filled with love.

you were abit taken aback but happy that jisungs okay with it. he understands, and it warms your heart. he then leans into ur face again, and his lips touch yours. you could taste the sweet cherry chapstick on his lips he would always wear. you loved it, you loved him so much, and it hurts that you treated him so stupidly. but you are glad he understands and doesnt despise you.

the kiss soon turned into a deeper, passionate one, too passionate, that turned into a messy makeout session. the both of you stopped kissing and moved to the living room couch to continue. you sat down as he sat on your lap in an instant, his hands around your neck.

a few whines came out of jisungs mouth as you bit onto his lip without realising. the lust taking over you. you wanted to make him feel more loved than ever, wanted to show how much you love and care for him.

your hands go under his hoodie, roaming around his bare waist, squeezing his hips as you kiss down to his neck.

"im sorry.. i miss you so much.." you say as your out of breath from sucking onto his neck. "f-fuck, dont say sorry... i l-love you so much." he whimpered into your ear, making you suck on his neck harsher, making him moan out louder into your ear. your hands roam further up to squeeze his chest harshly, making him let out a high-pitched whine.

your fingers pinching and rolling his pecs as you kiss his mouth to hush his loud whiney moans. you could feel his hard cock poking your stomach cause how close his waist is to your lower area. you found it cute that he kept trying to scoot closer to you as possible, needy for you.

you smiled into the kiss as your right hand slowly went down to his crotch area. his grey sweats had a small wet spot, you palmed around his clothed cock as he let out moans into your mouth. needy and loud.

"feel good? mm?" you whisper out as you broke the messy kiss, a string of saliva connected to your lips.

"yes, yes so f-fucking good ma'am" he whines as he starts to rock his hips closer to your hand. his arms around your head and face on the side of your neck. his moaning and whimpering for lust gradually becomes louder as a few tears shed down his cheek.

you push him back as you hold onto the lower bit of his hoodie and bring it up to take it off him, showing his bare lean torso. your hands roamed around his chest as your eyes twinkle with desire.

your hands squeeze his small chest, then move your face close to one of them to suck on. your lips around his pec, making him grunt and whine.

tongue licking around his pec as your other toyed with the other, his back arched closer to you, making you smirk. his hand gripping onto your hair and pulling it from the shocks of pleasure he gets from your tongue.

"p-please i want more.." he mewled out as his head fell back and around to meet up with your eyes as you stopped playing with his pecs. you look into his round, shiny eyes as you grab onto his jaw, forcing him to look closer to your face. "fuck your so pretty jisung.." he whimpered out from the praise as he looked into your eyes with lust.

"lets go to our room before we take things further." you smirk at him as he got off your lap quickly and grabbed onto your hand, dragging you off the couch to the shared room upstairs. he then opened to door and shoved you inside, he then closed the door rushing towards to bed like a needy slut.

you stood at the end of the bed, seeing him lay down whining and squirming around for your touch. you then crawl onto the bed right on top of the male, right on his boner and he lets out a breathy moans. his hands on your waist squeezing them. your wet clothed pussy on jisungs clothed cock, you grind your hips onto his. he moans and flick his head back on the pillows as he bites his lip.

you then got off his lap and scooted back to go on your knees and bend down to where your face is near his crotch.

your hands roam from his thighs to the waistband. you pulled them down and took them off, throwing them away in the room. you look down to see his hard on in his briefs. you bring your hand to palm his area, making him cry out from being toyed with for so long.

"p-please need you so bad.." you chuckle at his eagerness and took off his briefs to reveal his hard length smacking to his stomach. his tip was an angry red, throbbing, and waiting to be touched.

your hand latches onto his cock and squeeze it softly causing jisung to mewl out whimpers. hands starts to move slowly to tease the poor male as his hips start to twitch and rock up from the pleasure. he starts to whisper and mewl out pleases as he shuts his eyes close.

you start to work your hand and move you head closer to latch your mouth to his tip, sucking and kissing it as your hand moves swiftly on his cock.

his waist rocks up, and hands roam down to grip onto your hair tightly. you then let go on his cock and take him into your mouth fully making him moan out cries as his back arched.

your head bobbing on his length as your right hand roam up to his pec, squeezing and rolling the nub between your fingers.

you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth so you used your free hand to play around with his balls, squeezing them and fondling them with a gentle touch. your mouth goes to his tip sucking on it abit harder than before adding more pleasure to him causing him to scream out your name as his hips twitch around waiting for release.

a wave of shock and pleasure came over him as he bucked his hips to your face, his back arched and head fell back. his eyes rolled back as his grunts and moans were basically screams. his cock leaked out with his semen onto your mouth. your hand moved to his length to work more of his cock, milking it.

his hands scrambled onto your hair and pulled onto them hardly as he whimpered out from the sensitive overstimulated feeling in his stomach, moving his hips away from your touch.

as he calmed down from his high his cock was hard again. he needed your pussy around his cock or he'll go crazy.

[puppyluvfics]

NSFW Alphabet | Junhan/Han Hyeongjun

Junhan/Han Hyeongjun | WC: 1.6k Genre: smut Summary: nsfw alphabet game thing Warnings: this is just. PURE filth. I'm sorry. (No im not). NOT proofread, just straight up rambles. Light kink stuff, knife play mention but not descriptive at all. Uhhh subby junhan at the end, sorry if that's not ur thing >,< A/N: X is excluded bc i will Not be writing about him in that kind of detail <3 Thank u anonie for requesting this one too <3 ALSO these just keep getting longer... sorry but not sorry...?

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The sweetest angel ever frfr but I think he’d end up laying there just needing to catch his breath for a second, so he’d let his fingers trail up and down your arms so he could remind you that he’s still there and feeling good, just out of it for a second.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Let’s be so for real right now, he loves his fingers… watching them trail over your body and tease you, or watching them disappear inside you and make you whine and beg… yeah. Yeah. 

On his partner, I think he’s very much someone who likes the little things. What I mean by that is he’d take such notice of how your wrists looked and felt in his hands, how soft the inside of your thighs are, what parts of your neck made you whine when he kissed there…

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Don’t hate me… I don’t think he’s a big cum guy. He doesn’t seem the messy type or the breeding kink type to me. It’s more about the feeling of being with you than it is coming inside you or on you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Is it really a dirty secret if it’s not that secret… collars. Not only does he look So good in them but he loves using them too… mutual pulling on each others collar and/or leash? I need to take a walk.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s not exactly the Sex King but he knows what he’s doing, for sure. He knows what he likes and he knows what you like, and he doesn’t hold back.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

This goes back to the collar thing, doggy would be fun so he could yank on you a little, be it with the collar or with your hair in his fist. AND!! AND AND AND!!! Thigh fucking <3 teasing the both of you by only using your thighs when your sitting in his lap or pushed against a wall <3

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

More serious than goofy, for sure. He’s not going to pass up a chance to be giggly with you, of course, but he’s a man who knows what he wants.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

As always, I keep it simple: natural but well groomed king <3

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It’s not that he’s not romantic. He is and he can be, but the level of intimacy with him is something that goes far beyond romance. He’s not going to be whispering about how much he loves you over and over (even though he absolutely does!), he’s going to be breathing heavily and grabbing you, marking you and reminding you that you’re his.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

And if I say he gets off from edging himself over and over, then what? Depriving himself just a touch until he’s shaking and can’t take it anymore until he comes and shakes and ends up laying there for a minute after, the aftershocks sending shivers up and down his spine while he twitches in his hand

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Again, collaring, but also hair pulling… not even during sex itself but foreplay as well! Grabbing your hair and pulling it to make you look at him, just yanking at it to make you whine and gasp out… AND ALSO! Shibari. <3

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

At home, always. BUT! Not necessarily in bed every time… over the dining room table, the arms of the couch, his desk, the kitchen counter, against a wall, anywhere he wants you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Knowing he owns you and you trust him is something that he not only loves outside of sex but gets him going for sure. The fact that you can be at his mercy if he asked and you trust him to make you feel good even if it involves a lot of teasing or some pain makes him so needy

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I’ll touch on this again later but he’s not into pegging… follow me on this. He doesn’t get much from it which is why he doesn’t love it, but he’s for sure thought about it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s a hair puller, of course he loves getting head where he can move you at whatever pace he wants. Guiding your mouth up and down his cock slowly to tease himself, making you look up at him while he’s in your mouth… 

Giving wise, it’s not that he won’t, but it’s not at the top of the list of things he loves. Don’t get me wrong, he loves using his mouth on you, but there are other things he loves a little more.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

A bit of both. Hear me out. Slow but not sensual. Where he’d do it more to be a tease, pushing all the way in you before pulling almost all the way out, taking his time so you feel every inch of him. At the same time, fast but not rough. Curling his fingers inside you, still moving his fingers after you come so he could overstimulate you… yeahhh…

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s not going to say no if you’re really desperate, but he loves foreplay, so he’ll never initiate one himself.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes but also no… he isn’t the biggest kinkster in regards to extremes, but he’d be open to things that weren’t things you couldn’t come back from. What I mean is like, instead of knife play, he’d use a frozen credit card, instead of handcuffs he’d use silk or something he could easily yank off if you weren’t feeling it anymore.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He comes twice, always. Not back to back, of course, but one isn’t enough for him. Three is too much, but getting to come twice is perfect.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Now… again, follow me on this. He gives switch vibes, in the sense of dom/sub, despite leaning more towards dom to me. Still, I think in those subby moments, he would love to have you hold a vibrator against him, or use a cock ring, or even a chastity cage, albeit very rarely,

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease, but not during. Like I said, he’s huge on foreplay. Moving his fingers up and down your inner thighs but never touching you, biting the soft, sensitive skin where he had just touched, pretending not to hear your begs… he’s so the type to say “Hm? What was that?” whenever you beg for him to stop teasing and touch you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Growly boy… not on purpose and not to be or do anything, but just because the feeling of you around him drives him crazy and he loses himself.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

This is the part I’ve been waiting for… switch Junhan. But let’s talk about his subby side, since this has been mostly about his dom side… I am subby Junhan shooter #1… It’s rare, sure, but not nonexistent. He isn’t into calling his partner “Mommy” or anything, but he’s absolutely not opposed to saying things like “Mistress”… he’d be SO whiny too, squirming every time you’d teasingly run your nails up and down his cock, barely touching him… the way he’d gasp out little “please”s and “m-more”… GODDD I know he’s SO pretty when he cries too… overstimulated but needy, lost to everything but your touch... The way he’d bite his lip so hard trying to hold back and listen to you, the way his hips would rut and buck trying to get any kind of touch… the way he’d be so whiny if you laughed at him… someone stop me before I go insane. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Ahem… anyways. He’s not gonna be begging for it every day, he can take care of himself if he really has to, but anywhere from 2-3 times a week if he’s feelin it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He’s a sleepy boy… if he was domming, he’d make sure you were both okay, hydrated and clean before he’s out, but if he’s being a sub… he’s out like a light switch the second the scene is over. Not because of any negative reason!! He’d just be so fucked out and safe with you that he’d be out like a light, waking up slightly when you cleaned him off so he could thank you and whisper his love confessions to you.

[a-aexotic]

SINCE YALL LOVED THE JJ X READER X RAFE, im writing a part 2 💞💞. thank u so much for the support, i love u all<3

taglist: @eli-yeah @hallecarey1 @midnightsgetawaycar @vigilanteshitposting (if you wanted to be added to my taglist, check out my google forms in my navi!) here are all the people who requested a part 2! @gillybear17 @capnsoyboy @honeysavanna-blog @desssxo-blog

cw’s: angst (to fluff ofc), crying, drinking, ooc camerons, lmk if i missed anything

You'd stopped hanging with the Pogues for a few weeks and John B had just thought it was just a phase. You'd always get tired of them every once in a while and would try to find other friends but you'd always come back. That was until Kie had informed him that your new friends were the self renowned Kings of OBX; Rafe Cameron, Topper Thornton, and Kelce, that was when he got concerned.

You got home late again and you tried to sneak in by your window again so Big John doesn't catch you. And when you got in, John B was sitting on your bed, waiting for you.

A confused expression contorted on your face as you looked at your older brother. "Hey?"

"You've been hanging out with Rafe and Topper?" He got to the point immediately and you were taken aback. You weren't concerned as you took off your shoes, rolling your eyes.

"I have, is that a problem?" You countered as John B sat up, getting up to face you.

"You know it is, Y/N." John B whispered. "I don't know what's been up with you lately, all your snarky comments and shit but I cross the line at you hanging out with those assholes."

"Snarky comments? John B, you're becoming dad." You couldn't help but laugh but John B didn't find it as amusing as you. "They're nice once you get to know them."

John B sighed, running his hands through his hair, stressed. "You think you've found new friends?"

"Yes, John B. Don't get all jealous on me, you're still my best-"

"You really think they want to be friends with you?" John B didn't mean it like that but you suddenly furrowed your eyebrows. "Wait-"

"What's that supposed to be mean?"

"Look, they're rich assholes and what do you think they realistically want from you? They obviously want to piss me or JJ off so they got to you-"

You scoffed at him, getting heated. How self-centered can someone be? "Oh, so you're saying no one would be friends with me for me? That obviously they want to be friends with me so they can get to you! Wow, okay-"

"That's not what I meant, Y/N."

"That's how it sounded, John B."

There was silence as you both looked at each other, hurt in your eyes and regret in John B's. His intentions were pure, you knew that but you couldn't help but think that John B truly thought this way. He saw you as a little baby who needed to be babysat and he needed to protect.

You're older now. You don't need John B or his friends anymore, you had Rafe. You didn't wanna be naive but it felt like he truly cared; old inside jokes, friendly smiles and tight embraces were the new norm for you two. He made you feel important, something that the Pogues had never made you feel.

Yeah, he is an asshole; but at least he cared for you.

"That hurts, John B." You whispered, feeling your eyes water. You didn't want to cry, that was pathetic. You walked away to your vanity, taking off your earrings as John B watched.

"Y/N-"

"Did you even care about how I was feeling when I blew you and the Pogues off? Did you even notice?" You suddenly asked, not facing John B as you looked at the mirror instead.

"I... Yes, of course we did. We just wanted to give you time." John B said. It was the truth, that was how he felt. But he didn't know how the others felt; they obviously cared about you but maybe not to the extent of how he did.

There was silence again. "John B, I'm going to bed. Can you get out?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean it like that, you know that."

"Do I?"

Before he could respond, you sniffed and looked away from his eyes as the tears started to fall. "I'm gonna get dressed, get out. Please."

He wanted to stay; hug you, comfort you. But that wouldn't do anything, he knew his words were permanent, there was no taking it back. He nodded and walked out of your room and you immediately locked the door after him.

You walked to your bed and collapsed dramatically, hugging your pillow and let the tears fall. All your worst fears had come true; they really did think that you were just some anti-social baby who needed to be taken care of.

You hadn't thought of JJ in weeks and now, he plagued your head. You missed him, too. You were embarrassed, did he truly only think of you as John B's little sister?

-

"What the fuck?" JJ shouted as John B explained the situation. The Y/N he knew wouldn't go fucking around with the Kooks, so what happened? "Why would she hang out with Rafe?"

"I'm not sure, it doesn't seem like her. I'm worried about her, she's probably getting brainwashed by them.'' Kie muttered as she sat on the couch. She was genuinely concerned; she didn't want you to become like Sarah, she wanted her best friend back.

John B was quiet as JJ and Kie discussed the situation at hand. He was confused, you'd never mentioned even talking to Rafe or Topper. They seemed like the kids who bullied you at the Kook Academy, so why were you associating with them now?

"I know it's that fucker, Rafe. He probably drugged her or some shit, he's like a sociopath who wants to use her as a weapon against us." JJ was pacing on the porch as Kie sighed. JJ was also worried, this was nothing like you. He was worried about you the moment you stopped hanging out with them but he just brushed it off like John B.

"He probably likes her." Kie stated as the two boys had looked at her, eyes widened. They hadn't even thought of that.

"Is he even capable of liking someone?" JJ sputtered, anxiously staring at Kie.

John B got up and started walking to the car, seeing red. If Rafe had even thought about touching you in any way, he'd rip him apart. You were always shy around guys and he knew that Rafe would use that against you. He didn't want to assume but Rafe was surely going to do something that made you uncomfortable.

Kie and JJ followed him. "The fuck are you doing?"

"Getting Y/N, by force if she doesn't want to."

Kie grabbed him firmly as turned him around. "Are you stupid? You're going to push her farther away. That's why she's with the Kooks right now, because you smuggle her like a little kid. You're literally a helicopter parent."

"I disagree, Kie. Personally I'm going to go over to that fucker's house and I'll punch in the mouth for taking Y/N-"

"JJ, stop. She's not a baby!" Kie shouted. "You two are driving her away. She just needs time, okay? If she needs help she'll call us."

John B had taken a few breathes and looked away from the Pogues, weighing his options. He decided Kie was right and nodded slowly, walking away back to his porch.

"I knew something was wrong the moment Y/N didn't go on that fishing trip a few weeks ago. I told you Kie, remember?" JJ recalled as Kie nodded, walking back towards John B. "And when she blew us off on Pope's birthday, and when-"

"We get it, you're the Y/N whisperer." Kie responded as she took seat on the chair, JJ taking a seat next to John B. "I just miss her."

"Me too." John B muttered.

JJ was quiet for a second. He remembered the past few weeks and they just weren't the same without you. Your amusing remarks, warm hugs and your eyes against the sun on the boat. He missed you more than anything.

-

You walked into the Cameron's estate, Topper and Rafe trailing behind you. You and Sarah made up a few nights ago and now, you essentially spent the entire day with her or Rafe. It was the most fun you'd had in months.

Sarah ran down the stairs and squealed when she saw you, embracing you tightly. "I missed you!"

"It's been like two hours, chill out." Rafe quipped, annoyed as Sarah flipped him off as she let you go.

"Shut up, you're just jealous."

"Of what?" He looked at Sarah up and down in an disgusted manner as you and Top laughed.

"That Y/N loves me more than you."

"Oh really?" Rafe looked over at you, a grin on his mouth as you smiled back. "Is that so, Y/N?"

"Yes, of course. I love Sarah more than anyone."

"Mhm." he responded, disbelief in his eyes as Sarah grabbed your hand, smiling in victory. You both looked at each other and he felt his heart jump at your sweet smile.

"Okay, guys. It's getting late, let's get going." Topper announced as they all nodded, walking out of the house. There was a bone-yard party tonight and you were all going together.

You were silently praying that the Pogues were going to blow it off and go to the Chateau instead, but that was unlikely.

As you arrived, the smell of smoke engulfed you and you resisted the urge to cough. The sun was setting and it was getting cooler, the salty ocean breeze running through your hair. You missed these parties, you hadn't been to one since the summer had begun.

Your gaze moved to the crowds, subconsciously trying to see if the Pogues had made it out to the party. You were nervous to see them, you hadn't even talked to them in a couple weeks. You heard some footsteps and you smelled the faint scent of his cologne.

Rafe stood next to you. "You okay?"

You turned to Rafe, looking up to his dreamy blue eyes. You smiled at his concern as you shook your head, "I'm fine, thanks for asking. Just nervous."

"If they hassle you, I'll be there quick, okay?"

You laughed at his care. "I'll be fine, don't worry."

You heard Sarah come up to you and grab your hand, your gaze still on Rafe, his grin evident.

"Let's go get some drinks. I need some ASAP." Sarah grabbed your hand and started walking away.

"Be careful!" Rafe shouted as you guys walked away.

You and Sarah walked to the kegger, getting a cup and filling it to the brim with beer. "I'm not excited for tomorrow's hangover."

"Let's not think about tomorrow, just tonight and how much fun we're going to have."

You laughed at Sarah words and she took a drink of her cup, smiling. You also took a drink, the bitter taste flooded your taste buds. You will never get used to the bitter taste of beer.

Kie and Pope watched from afar, disappointment apparent in their expression. They were sitting on piece of wood, beers in hand. Kie felt betrayed as she watched you dance with Sarah, having fun. She wasn't even mad; she was disappointed.

"Looks like the Kooks have officially seized Y/N away from us." Pope declared as Kie nodded, taking a sip of her beer from the red cup.

Sarah put her hands on your shoulders, swinging you two in a slow dance as you giggled at her antics. The sun was set and the boneyard energy was finally at its height; the cool ocean breeze, the smoke from the fire, the faint music, the mutter from people all across the island.

Your gaze moved from Sarah to behind her: Rafe was sitting with Top and Kelce, laughing. A smile invaded your face and Sarah turned around and then back at you, a smirk on her lips.

"So what's up with you and Rafe?"

Your face felt warm once you turned your gaze back at Sarah. "Um, what do you mean?"

"Do you think I don't see those little looks and smiles? Especially the hugs, it looks like he doesn't wanna let go of you." Sarah noted as you blushed bashfully, looking away. "He doesn't hug anyone that way, so what's up?"

"Nothing, we're just getting closer."

"Okay, Y/N." The smirk was on still apparent on her face. "Whatever you say."

It was the truth, sure, he made you feel like few others have made you feel, but it was just nothing. That was it, for now at least.

You heard footsteps behind you and you saw Sarah's face morph into an annoyed one. She let go of you as you turned back to see JJ.

You were startled. You hadn't seen him in weeks and it seemed like all the feelings you tried so hard to get rid of, came back as soon as you locked eyes with JJ. His soft gaze and worried expression made your heart sink to your stomach.

"Hey." He said quietly, no exact emotion in his tone. "C-can we talk?"

You looked back at Sarah and she gave you a small nod. "Sure."

You and JJ walked away from the crowd, walking along the shore of the beach. It was quiet for a second before JJ spoke up. "Why'd you leave us?"

His tone was evident now. It seemed hurt and that was something you rarely heard - especially when it was directed to you. You moved your gaze to anywhere but JJ, trying to think of an explanation.

You licked your lips before looking at JJ. He didn't look at you either, wanting to gaze at the sand below instead. "I felt like... like I was just John B's sister." That was partly the truth - you couldn't admit the other half.

"Just John B's sister?" JJ repeated. Again, there was silence before JJ spoke up again. "You're our best friend, too. Our little sister we love and want to... protect."

"I don't feel like it, sometimes." You admitted. JJ's heart broke at your statement. He's known you his whole life and he's always wanted to make sure you fit in. He felt bad now because you didn't feel it.

He stopped and grabbed your arm, so you could turn and look up at him. "I'm sorry, if I ever made you feel unwanted. You are wanted, it's not the same without you and our little jokes. No one does it like you, Y/N."

You felt yourself tear up at the statement. That was all you wanted to hear all month - that you were wanted. Not only wanted to hear, but feel. JJ's gaze felt warm against your face as you locked eyes. His blue eyes melted into yours and your heart sped up.

His hand slowly went down your arm, leaving goosebumps as he went down to your hand. He pulled you closer and you held eye contact. His gaze moved to your lips and then up at your eyes again.

As he leaned in, he heard a familiar voice behind them. "Y/N."

You both turned to see Rafe and Sarah, watching you both. His jaw was clenched as he surveyed the scene in front of him.

Oh no, you thought to yourself as JJ let go of your hand.

[aeneaans]

returning a favor

synopsis: you help diluc patch up a wound—hilarity ensues.

word count: 1061

c/w: none !! i mean if you exclude diluc being a loser … they kiss !

a/n: im sorry for being inactive …!! i wrote this in january please take this as compensation

“Finally,” You’re wiping the sweat off near your cheek, breathing heavily. Your lungs almost feel as if they’re about to stop working. You certainly didn’t expect The Abyss mage to call for backup—lots of backup. That was probably the most tiring fight you’ve had in a while.

With your throat dry and desperately needing water, you croak, “Where do they get so many reinforcements from?” Although your skin was barely scathed, all of your limbs felt weak. You could barely stand, so you collapsed onto a dark patch of grass.

Your breathing begins to slow down as you finally catch your breath. “Well? Aren’t you going to sit as well? I can’t believe you still have the energy to stand.” You question Diluc’s stamina. Either that, or maybe he’s just stubborn. Sure, he was standing perfectly fine since he was using his massive claymore as some sort of walking stick, but nobody can deny the fact that he was panting. A lot.

“I’ll be fine. There might be more of them coming.” He replies, fixing his gloves nonchalantly.

“That should’ve been the last of them. Come on, stop being so anxious!” You insist that the horde you and Diluc fought off just now was the last of them and pat the area beside you, gesturing for him to join you. He sighs and crouches down next to you, a weak attempt at complying with you.

“You should really take it easy, you know?” You sigh, glancing at the patches of black on the ground–a result of Diluc’s Pyro vision. “The last thing I’d want is you getting hurt ‘cause you want to help me take care of The Abyss.”

“There’s no need to worry about me.” He assures you, but his argument is beyond weak.

You roll your eyes. “Everytime you come back from one of your ‘trips,’ you manage to get hurt somehow.” You lean back, looking up at the sky.

“Speaking of…” You help yourself up using your sword. “You got hurt earlier, didn’t you?”

“It’s just a minor scratch—” Before he can finish his sentence, you cut him off.

Shushing him, you scold, “Shut it. I left some bandages in my bag back there. Just wait here.”

Making sure he understands that he needs to stay put, you venture into the previous area to rummage through your bag. It’s already midnight. Most citizens of Mondstadt are probably already all cozy in their homes by now, maybe with a few exceptions.

Jean is probably still in her office working. Kaeya’s probably in the tavern drinking again…and Diluc is still waiting for bandages. With that thought, you decide to walk a little faster to your abandoned bag.

Bandages in hand, you make it back to Diluc within a few minutes.

“Back,” You say from a couple meters away from him. “Let me see the wound.”

“Back so soon?” His eyes suddenly open; It seems that he was on the verge of falling asleep. You feel just a little bit guilty about interrupting him.

“Aw, did you want me to be away for longer?” You tease.

He doesn’t reply, but you notice a thin smile forming on his face.

“Just show me your wound.” You roll your eyes, gesturing for him to roll up his sleeves. He reluctantly does as he’s told.

“It really is just a scratch.” He sighs, looking away from you.

“Who cares? Just let me help you for once.”

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes as you finish wrapping his arm up. It may have just been a scratch this time, but he would’ve said the same about a hole in his stomach.

“Alright, there.” You finish wrapping the bandages around his arm, tying a tight knot to secure it.

Before you know it, it’s already the next day. Of course, it wasn’t daybreak yet, but the two of you should definitely head back.

“I have to return to the winery,” Diluc says, getting up from the patch of grass. “You’re heading back to the city, right?”

“Yeah, I have to wake up early tomorrow.” You sigh, picking at your skin. “Extra shift from my boss.” Right as you finish your sentence, you let out a yawn.

“You should go. At least get some rest before you go to work.”

“Trying to get rid of me so quickly? I’m hurt, Diluc.” You tease. “Nothing in return for bandaging you up?”

Diluc lets out a soft chuckle. “Alright, what do you want?”

Giving it some thought for a few seconds, but coming up with nothing, you joke.

“Mm, how about a kiss right here?” You chuckle, pointing to your cheek.

Honestly, maybe it was better you didn’t make jokes like that around Diluc. His sense of humor isn’t known to be the greatest. Because unlike Kaeya, who definitely would’ve flirted back, Diluc’s eyes widened and his face turned red. Incredibly red. And for a second, he looked like he seriously considered it.

You can’t help but laugh uncontrollably, “Did you actually think about it?”

Averting his gaze, he purses his lips.

“I’m just teasing, relax!” You sigh, a grin still plastered on your face.

“Do you want me to?” You look up at him, eyes widening slightly. You didn’t think he would say that. Diluc isn’t the type to joke around about this stuff. No, he would never.

Suddenly, he crouches down right in front of you. “I was joking! I…” You clear your throat, desperately looking away. You’re embarrassed. By Diluc, of all people.

He slides his hand onto your cheek, cupping them, and leans in slightly. You glance back at him and immediately look away again.

You bite your lips. “...If you want to, yeah.”

Instead of responding with a nod or a simple ‘okay,’ he cups your cheek with his hand. Despite wearing gloves, he could probably feel just how warm your cheeks were.

…

His lips were really soft. It was a kiss that lasted longer than either of you expected, but it’s not like you were complaining.

Your heart was on the verge of exploding as you walked home. You couldn’t even tell whether your body was burning because you were exhausted or if it was because you were flustered. It was probably both.

It was only then that you remembered: you told him to kiss your cheek.

[surfinminho]

Kinktober day 3- Somnophilia w/Chan

⤷ warnings: fem!reader, dom!Chan, mentions of alcohol, cumming inside

⤷ word count: 687

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

It was never an issue when chan comes home late. You know it was always for good. Working on a new beat for stray kids or plain old filing. It never crossed your mind that he never loved you. You know he did, but seeing him only in the morning and sometimes in the night upset you a little bit. Of course you saw him on days off, and he tried to spend most of his free time with you or on the phone with you.

You had your needs to. So when you got a little drunk one evening with Chan, you spilled how you wouldn't mind him fucking you in your sleep. He just stares, you laugh it off but he couldn't help but think about it.

The next time he sees you, he sits you down and have a formal conversation about it. He decided for a signal: a pendant bracelet. One you never really wore but still thought was pretty.

So when he comes home at ungodly hours at night and sees you wearing the bracelet, he sits on the bed, your back against his legs. You were sleeping on your side, small shorts and a T-shirt. Jostling as he moves on the bed.

He moves his hands all around your body, groping your ass seeing if that would wake you.

It didn't.

It seemed like he had free reign. Letting him do whatever he wants to you. His rough fingers touch and open skin he could reach, his calloused fingers against your soft skin made him want to take you more.

He pulls down his pants, stroking himself until he's fully hard before pulling down your sleep shorts.

"no underwear, you're such a slut " he whispers, running his index finger down your folds.

He grabs his cock, running it up and down your cunt. Tip catching your hole. He used his other hand to wrap your legs around his.

You mumble something in your sleep, pushing him to the edge. He didn't want to hurt you, deciding to ease into you.

When he bottoms out, any self control he had is gone.

"So good for me. Such a good baby for me right?" He picks up his pace, quiet room being filled with obscene noises. Hips meeting your thighs making that lewd clapping sound.

Sleep still in your body, you felt something, wet in between your legs. You tried to sit up but you couldn't. Something was obstructing your movements, specifically your legs.

Thinking it was a nightmare, you try to pinch yourself,  which failed making yourself more awake. As you gain back consciousness you grasp the situation.

"Did I wake my pretty girl up? Oh im sorry" chan sucks on your back, moving towards your neck.

The pleasure was overwhelming you. Just waking up not knowing what was going on heightened your senses.

Every thrust he did sent sparks up your spine, trying to grip on to anything around you.

"s-shit baby you're gonna make me cum" his hips stutter as you meet his halfway. "G'na make me cum, f-fuck" his hips still before releasing his seed inside you.

You whine, grabbing his forearms trying to get his attention.

"You wanna cum?" He chuckles at you, in an almost sadistic way.

"yes- please?" The way you were asking made it impossible for him to deny you.

His hips start moving again, cunt clenching from the pleasure.

"How am I supposed to fuck you if you keep clenching baby?" he asked, rutting his hips into yours instead.

"I-  shit sorry m'sorry" tears were lining your eyes, his cock was hitting that certain spot in you, making you shake.

"Cumming, please let me cum"

"Go ahead, cum for me."

It's like his voice was the thing you needed to cum, clenching down on him hard before releasing.

"Good job, you did so good" he smiles as he pulls out of you. He tried to ask you a question: if you wanted something to drink or maybe a shower but when he peered over you were already in Dreamland.

[yeokii]

# types of tropes w enha !!

₊﹒wc! 2.7k

₊﹒warnings! non-idol!enha, gn!reader (but I kinda wrote it with she/her pronouns in mind so if you see she/her pronouns im v sorry pls ignore), profanity, mentions of alcohol (only in jake's), mentions of skinship, mentions of stalker behaviour (its a joke, nothing serious tho) mentions of being high (ITS A JOKE), mentions of blood in Riki's one, spelling and grammar errors!!

₊﹒note! yen and Kayla my fave bff helped me w the tropes!! ngl got carried away with junwons one

₊﹒requested by this anon !!

# lee heeseung ⎯ coworkers to lovers

IT JUST FITS HIM SO WELL

heeseung would def catch feelings first when you asked him to help organise the files

HE ALWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS takes up the offer whenever you need help with something.

you want a drink? bro will bring you the whole menu

literally will do anything to show that he's into you.

bro just loves being near you.

but this one time where he dropped you home when it started raining heavily, you started to question ur feelings for him.

and so the mutual pining begins 😞

yall both would be mad blushing whenever you both interact w each other.

both of your friends would be so mad because they know you both like each other

like why aren't yall kissing already??

you kinda did know that heeseung did like you back but the man was oblivious

so you asked him out 😁

SUSHI DATE FTW!!

and you both hung out in his car after the date finished and this man did not want to take you home.

it was painful pls 😭

fastfoward to when you both start dating and he come to your house and picks you up so you can both go to work at the same time.

he would bring your daily coffee orders aswell

he would even teach you how to play league of legends help 😭

skinship is a must!!

give it a few months and he would know you more than you know yourself

PLS HES SO CUTE SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN AN AWARD

"baby, let me take you on a date after you finish work."

"I swear to god, it better not be a ramen date again."

₊﹒other members under the cut !!

# park jongseong ⎯ brother's best friend

no cuz its so jongseong of him to fall in love with his best friend's sibling

he would know you since he was like 3 and he prolly always saw you as his best friend's annoying little sibling 😭

but you were literally completely in love with this man

if you could kiss the ground he walked on, you would.

PLSSS HE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO U

just a few glances here and there

but when you started to grow up, you kinda ignored him aswell cuz you started to get a life 💀

BUT U STILL KINDA LIKED JAY THOO

it wasn't very visible as it was before b4

but this hurt jays ego like why aren't you foaming in the mouth whenever you see him???

BYE SOMEONE PLS HUMBLE HIM

so when you both were at a party

YOU LOOKED ETHEREAL

and it bugged him why were you hanging out with other people??

this man really thought you had no social life plss

you looked so pretty and he didn't even look at anyone else, it was just you.

this man fell in love with you gn.

and then from there, he saw you as a romantic aspect or wtv.

IT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE NOW HES THE ONE FOAMING AT HIS MOUTH WHENEVER HE SEES YOU

you kinda noticed that he liked you because he believed actions > words

he started picking you and dropping you off to school when your brother couldn't

he would even bring one of your favourite snacks along the way too

he would text you and talk to you more often

so one night while you and ur bsf had a sleepover

jay also had one w ur brother

AND BROOOO HE WAS SO JEALOUS U COULD SEE HIS EYES TURNING RED

jay vamp era frfr

he was being very passive aggressive to ur bsf

SO U CONFRONTED HIM 😁

and bro just straight up said "I like you"

followed by "I don't like when they talk to you"

so ur just there 🧍‍♀️

like helppp it was so awkward

after the confession, he asked you on a date and ofc you said yes

IT WAS SO CUTE TOO

but a few months in the relationship, you both are getting comfy with each other

its either a full on classy restaurant date or staying at home and watching Disney+

theres no in between

and ofc your brother is okay with this as he gets used to it

he loves to act like he doesn't care for you but you know he loves you

"no I'm not blushing!"

"jay you so are! I didn't know you liked backhugs!"

"SHUT UP"

# sim jaeyun ⎯ exes to lovers

it would def be you who broke up w him

I js don't see Jake calling off a relationship

and it would prolly be over the summer when you thought you and the aussie boy (😝😝😝) didn't click anymore.

mans would be sooo devastated like wdym ya'll don't click anymore???

he would spend more time thinking abt why you thought the relationship didn't work than actually being sad

mans really tried to move on but he srsly couldn't do it.

he was so comfortable with you, he couldn't do that with anyone else.

all his friends witnessed him going through the five stages of greif

it was sad actually 😭

he would still have you as his lock screen like he never even bothered to change it

so probably after 8 months of going through crappy dates and drinking his heart away (he got drunk on apple juice) he decided he wanted you back

so he reached out to you

found out you work at a cafe through his 'sources' (jungwon)

and when you see him he's like "whatttt? you work here????"

its giving stalker behaviour

do better jake 😕👎

and now that he KNOWS you work here

he comes there everyday at 4 right when you're shift begins

bro is the master at small talk

and that is when the small talk with you goes on for an hour and you realise its been an hour since your shift is finished.

he offers a ride back home

and you agreed since you didn't want to walk home alone

you didn't really see the problem with exes being friends and you told him abt it too but

NO NO NO

this man did not work this hard for ya'll to just be friends again

so he waited until your shift finished and decided to bring you your fav flowers

and he asked you if you wanted to go out

and he brought you to a picnic

and you're like "Jake??? its night???"

"you always wanted to have a picnic with me so I thought why not?"

plsss you were shocked that he remembered you wanting to have a picnic with him but you both never had the time.

he even brought your fav sandwiches and drinks it was so cute

and when he dropped you back home he confessed everything and he told you he wanted to get back together

after thinking abt it for a few days

you decided you wanted to get back tgt

so you showed up at his house with flowers in your hand (it was rlly cute plss 😭😭😭)

and when you both get back together

he really tried to make the relationship even more stronger an always assured you to talk to him if you had any problem

its cute because this man is never gonna let u go

like whenever ya'll walk tgt, he's gonna be holding your hand

you're making something in the kitchen? he's backlogging you

you wanna pee? this man's gonna follow you into the bathroom

jake's so cute plss😭😭

jungwon swears he's the reason you both got back tgt

"please you looked so funny when you fell on your butt!"

"remember the time where I dumped you?"

# park sunghoon ⎯ first love

I feel like this boy would not fall in love that easily which is why he hadn't had his first love

sure he had his first likes, loads of partners, but never love

and then baam

you came in 😎

he felt like it was one of those tv series where everything was in slow motion and like the spotlight was just on you

he just felt like it was just you and him in the ice skating rink

like bro's brain just flew through the window

and ofc his kdrama moment had to end because u fell on ur ass trying to skate.

and bro let me tell you

this man procreated the loudest snort alive to mankind

and ofc you glared at him

which made him run to you, helping you up

"hi, I'm sunghoon."

"ok"

he thought he would cry right there.

he apologised and asked to make it up by trying to take you out for ice cream.

ofc you couldn't say no

and you both got to know each other well

this man was scared because he thought he wouldn't se you again

so what did he do?

this man used every pickup line known to mankind

NO NO NO

he did not ask your number

INSTEAD he turned into the rizzlord

oh was it a sight to see

NO CAUSE YOU KNEW HE WANTED YOUR PHONE NUMBER

he was js really nervous

so u asked his phone and saved ur phone number

"maybe I could like yk teach you how to skate next time?"

"wtv you say hoon."

# kim sunoo ⎯ best friends to lovers

oh god the mutual pinning..

YOU BOTH LIKE EACH OTHER

WHY ARENT YALL SUCKING EACH OTHERS FACES RN?

riki asked calmly

and I wholeheartedly agree

you thought sunoo was js your bsf

which explains why he always looks out for you

waiting for you at the school gate everyday even if you're like 30 minutes late

or always getting you fav drink

or always covering for you if you got into trouble

LIKE NAHHHHH

be so fr rn

riki could not stand it

bro was about to grow white hairs

this man was the literal definition of a third wheel

everytime riki tried to talk abt you two

you always dismissed it

AND SUNOO WAS BUTTHURT

like were you that blind?

NO

you were js scared you were gonna get rejected and all these years of friendship would go to waste

and ngl sunoo felt the same

so ofc your matchmaker riki pulled sunoo aside and asked him how he felt abt you

and pls sunoo loves you more than himself

he literally only trusts you

and you were the same for him

#goals

so riki used his amazing megamind brain and asked yall to talk abt your feelings

and it took a while to open up after riki left and by the end of it you both had shared your first kiss with each other 😁

NGL IT WAS REALLY CUTE

you both were red

and now since y'all are in a relationship

riki hated it more

"BOOO get a room."

ur dates were so cute

either it was hot choco dates or ''lets go play in the snow' dates

you always enjoyed it

because you are with sunoo (I physically cringed)

"maybe I should call u the sun cuz u brighten up every room u walk into."

"r u high?"

# yang jungwon ⎯ academic rivals

his jaw dropped when he saw the results

HELLO A 95???

man hasn't got anything below a 97

and there you were

waving ur results sheet at him with a clear 96

bro wanted to slap that smirk right off your face

so he asked the teacher to check his paper again

bye the teacher did not give two fucks

so he checked it himself

he was actually supposed to get a 94 but lets keep that to ourselves 😁

he js waited until the next exam to rot around and by that this man took a mental screenshot of every page in the book

a 94???

GOODBYE.

if there was a dissapear button in life

he would press 65 times

and what did you get

a 97.

happiest day of your life ngl

this man had a whole fit

HE COULD NOT BELIVE IT

the teacher actually had enough of you

and gave you both detention

all you had to clean the classroom

'bonding time' she said

'it'll be fun' she said

so when you started to clean the room

all you both could give each other were side eyes and silent curses

it was painful actually

you both divided the room saying this was his side and that was your side

but there were tiny moments were you were staring at him, admiring his side profile

THAT WAS SO UNLIKE U

U WERE SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM

but why did he look so ethereal when he was sweeping the floors

GET A GRIP.

so there was this moment were you both close to each other and you tripped on your untied shoelaces and landed ontop of him

he landed on his ass

so romantic I know.

and you both stared at each other for a long time (5 seconds)

before he pushed you off him

"EW."

he stood up and went back to sweeping and you were still on the floor

you stood and started cleaning again

but what you didn't realise was that he kept staring at you

occasionally having eye contact

after that day, you both became softer to each other

YOUR TEACHER HAD HER JAW DROPPED WHEN HE SAW YOU BOTH NOT FIGTHING WHEN JUNGWON GOT A 94 AND YOU GOT A 96

like hello???

where the hair ripping and shitty insults??

your friend were in school because you stopped talking bt how much you hate him and so were his friends

scary really

both of your friends thought that you both were planning some big revenge or something

but then they caught you smiling at him while walked past you??

they called an exorcist immediately

THIS IS NOT OK??

you both didn't whine and ask the teacher to change when you both were paired up for a project

you both had a fun time and you actually had a good convo

you both called truce

and you both started to not hate each other

and one day while you both talked you had a moment of silence when you just said 'fuck it' and went in and kissed him

GET A ROOM

and the next day in school

you both walked holding hands

everyone was so confused because um what the actual fuck?

"can't believe I used to hate this pretty face."

"ew jungwon"

"shut up before we go back to being enemies"

# nishimura riki ⎯ hates everyone but you

when he heard about love, all he could say was 'bs'

like be so fr

BUT THAT WAS UNTIL YOU ENROLLED IN THE SCHOOL

he swore he could hear wedding bells

everything abt you was so perfect

like he never had an ideal type but god damn bro

might as well have one rn

he like froze for a sec

crazy ik

tbh you didn't acknowledge his existence for a few days

until you saw him playing basketball w his friends

and his basketball met w ur face

bye ur nose did not stop bleeding

man came rushing to u when he realised it was u

he took you to the nurse and when you were all ok

he sheepishly grinned at you and apologised for hitting you w his basketball

you were quick to forgive him and you started to become friends since that day

everyone was in shock because you were the first person he'd ever talked other than his friends

and you were so confused because everyone kept telling this was so unlikely of him

he had never tied someones shoelaces when they were untied

or he had never lent someone his jacket

even to his friends

the privilege was showing

like u were so confused because he doesn't do this with other people

he prolly be like 😐 but when you're there hes like 😁

soo you asked him

"idk I like you"

HELLO???

"oh uhm haha same."

BYE YALL ARE SO AWKARD

it took a few weeks for him to grow some balls and ask you to be his s/o

and this man needed to always be on your side

he's gaming? ur on his lap.

he's playing basketball? ur playing with him.

UR LIKE EVERYWHERE

its so cute

makes me sick

"BABY WHERE R U GOING?"

"riki I need to pee."

perm taglist!! @flwoie @zuyairus @bubblytaetae @yenqa @haknom

[sunk-1sssed]

Unnecessary

Neteyam x reader

Synopsis : The Sully’s return to the forests after a few years, all being greeted with a warm welcome, all but but 3 new family members.

a/n- idk why but i loved how Tonowari and Jake reacted to the way they’re wives interacted when they first got to the reefs. I wanted to recreate smthg similar to that but w/ neteyam😫🤞.

THIS WAS RUSHED AND NOT PROOFREAD, SORRY BUT HOPE U ENJOY!

Aged up, Fem!Metkayina!Reader

Warnings: non-canon compliant, mentions of pregnancy, very boring ngl, a little fluff. Probably doesnt make sense but im sleepy so sorry!!

The Forests of Pandora were a sight to behold. The dark veil of night and the constant glowing of both flora and fuana left an ethereal essence on the world. A gasp of wonder leaving your throat, Neteyam turning back at you with a bright grin that put the sun, moon and stars to shame.

This was his home,

And he was proud of it.

For the past 7 or so years while the Sullys had lived in the Metkayina reefs, during that time many things had changed. There were numerous attacks on the Sully name, some nearly life threatening, but luckily, never lead to death. The family was grateful for the never ending brushes of luck, it seems that Ewya has her favourites.

Not only has the family grown mentally, they all had grown physically too, 3 new members joining them to the Omatikayan regions.

Your sister, Tsireya’s laugh was heard from the backs of her mate Lo’ak, turning to look at her, the same wonder filled her eyes as she watches the unfamiliar Territory from above.

The sounds of foreign yipping and cheering made your ears twitch, looking above you catch sight of the floating mountain’s, littered with unfamiliar blue figures, a wave of shock, fear and curiosity corse through your bones.

The feeling of Neteyam’s ikran tilting up begins to nerve you. “Hold on tight,love.” he exclaims, grabbing onto your thigh with his free hand. Your arms wrapping around him tighter, as the pack of ikrans begin to climb.

The atmosphere feels awfully familiar to the deep trenches of Metkayina, the deep heavy, almost suffocating feeling. Although in the sky, you can still breathe, albeit short due to the thinner air and atmosphere. The leather woven coat neteyam lend you, flapping erratically leaving your back exposed, a shiver making its way down your spine.

The rise to the mountains made your ears pop, an uncomfortable feeling and you pull at your ears, attempting to get the back to normal. Neteyam notices this. He lets out a soft chuckle at your confusion.

The ikrans landed with a thud, the hundreds of yellow eyes watching your figure as Neteyam reaches a hand out to help you down the animal. The curious eyes, and some what insulting mutters lead you back to the day the Sullys first arrive.

An esteemed woman making her way through the crowd, meeting you before anyone else. You immediately assume she is the Tsahik, or atleast Tsakarem from the way she carries herself.

You greet her, “Oel ngati kameie”, instead of returning the gesture, she scoffs, almost offended you are in her presence. “Who are you. You are not of here.”

Eyebrows raising in surprise, her tone sparking a challenge in you.

you reply, “Y/N (IDK THE FAMILY NAME) Tonowari’Ite. Tsakarem and eldest daughter of the Metkayina tribe.” Your head tilted high, eyes sharp and observating.

Behind you your sister nervously grabbing onto her Lo’ak’s arm for comfort as the whispers begin to fill the room. Neteyam watching the interacting from his peripheral vision, caution filling his bones.

“Ahh, daughter of the cheif? We are not searching for an alliance between the water people of wherever you come from.” She says, grabbing at your arm, curiosity quickly turning into disgust as her sees your finned hands.

“You and your people are not needed nor wanted here.” Circling around you and pulling at your tail, clothes then finally, your hair. You hiss at her actions. Teeth bearing on display, ear tilted.

The woman challenging you with her own hiss, you swore she spat on you midway.

A tug at your waist pulls you away from her, Neteyam quickly de-escalating the tense situation. “I apologise for my mate.” He says quickly, eyes flashing at you for a moment. Your face falling to one of disbelief, “its been a long ride, and-“

“‘Teyam!” You whisper shout at him, still shocked.

He sends an soft scolding look over as he continues, but with a firmer voice. “She has been exhausted and is with child, so she has been especially moody.”

Your ears tilt slight down, freckles glowing in embarrassment as you look away. You knew you got snappy, you were your mother’s daughter of course.

‘Skxwang, telling the whole clan of your pregnancy was not needed, especially this early.’ You thought.

A gasps and mutters heard from the room. His eyes firm, his hand still sat on your waist unwavering, rubbing soft patterns with his thumb. You could practically feel the eyes on you and your clothed bump.

An arm from the woman’s shoulder moves her back, Neteyam is met with apologetic eyes of who seemed to be the woman’s mate, and Olo’eyktan. The woman steps back, albeit shocked, she moves from her spot, allowing an opening.

Two people make their way to the front, in your eyes, they seem to the Olo’eyktan and the actual Tsahik. Whom seemed to be much older than you had expected.

Their eyes pausing against you and Neteyam, “Oel ngati kameie” you motion despite the ordeal. They continue to flicker to everyone else in the centre of the cave system.

Their eyes finally stopping at Neytiri and Jake, who had already made their way to the front.

“Tarsem.” Jake greets him, with a curt nod.

“Jake sully..” the man begins, “Toruk Makto, Our former Olo’eyktan. Has returned!” The man exclaims, any ounce of seriousness leaving his face.

Cheers erupting from all corners of the room, the mountain cave system giving it a deafening echo, parents, teens and children, cheering for the family.

You couldn’t help but let the contagious joy reach you too.

You turn to your mate, a grin adorning your face, your dimples creasing as his eyes crinkle from smiling. The sight lets your heart ablaze, knowing this war-torn family, your war-torn family, has a welcome to their home was heartwarming.

It was late at night, laying in your darkened tent with Neteyam’s arms around you, and your nose nuzzled against his neck, inhaling his scent.

“Announcing our pregnancy first day here was unnecessary ‘Teyam.” You tiredly scold.

A soft chuckle leaving his chest to emit vibrations, “challenging the first person you saw was also unnecessary (N/N).” He pauses, for a brisk moment. “Honestly, seeing that reminded me of when we first got to Awa’atlu.”

The memories leaving you to laugh at the similarities, your mother and Neytiri having conflict from the start, yet still things worked out in the end. You hoped it was the same for you.

Luckily for you, this family seemed to be Ewya’s favourite.