alrightieaphroditie · 1 year ago
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sticky situations | j.m 
*:·゚✧ back to masterlist
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pairing *:·゚dbf!joel miller x female!reader wc *:·゚5k  warnings *:·゚18+! minors please do not interact!! pretty much porn w/ minimal plot, dads best friend, age gap (reader is in early 20s, joel is like late 30s/early 40s) kissing, fun with popsicles (so like ice play, in a way), brief mention of choking, titty play, pet names (lots of ‘baby’ and ‘honey’) dirty talk, praise, slight humiliation if you squint, smidge of mutual masturbation, bossy!joel, unprotected p in v (please wrap it before you tap it), slight breeding kink, probably poorly written smut… i think that’s it :))   an *:·゚i lowkey told myself i’d never write a dad’s best friend joel miller story and yet here i am. this literally came to me in a fever dream, and i promise i am still working on my screwed series, but i could not stop writing this. mostly unedited (my bad) but i feel hella proud with this one, so i really hope you all enjoy!! stay safe if your celebrating the fourth today! 
synopsis *:·゚being in a secret relationship with your dad's best friend isn't for the weak. while getting some popsicles from the garage, said boyfriend - joel miller - corners you during the firework show after you spent the day teasing him.
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the scorching texas sun was high in the sky, and the sounds of children squealing carried loudly over the radio playing. the miller’s (moreso tommy, even though he didn’t technically live there) had been kind enough to open their pool to the neighborhood for the fourth of july holiday, and on a day like today, you weren’t surprised that their backyard was crammed full of people.
given that your father was joel miller’s best friend, you had already had plans to come utilize his pool, but now you could barely float like you planned with how many children were swimming in it. sarah’s soccer team had come over after practice as well, and it was to the point where even walking in the backyard was like walking through a landmine; you were consciously trying not to bump into anyone or step on a foot (or a child.) 
your father had planted himself at the grill with the host himself, the two of them talking about god knows what. every now and then you’d catch joel’s eyes, and he’d take in the bikini top you wore, the sage green color complementing your skin.
you had told your father that you had bought it at the mall last weekend, but the truth was that joel had bought it for you, along with the skimpiest bottoms he could find. those you were wearing too, but you had them concealed by a pair of jean shorts. with the way he was eyeing right now, and the way you were subsequently eyeing him back, you were surprised that no one around you had picked up on the fact that you two were together. 
it had been a few months, pretty much ever since you came home to your dad’s from school for the summer. he had moved into this neighborhood after your parents divorce, and when he told you back in january that he had the most amazing neighbor, you were happy for him. flash forward to your visit during spring break and it was joel miller this and joel miller that in your house. not that you really minded, you thought the contractor next door was very handsome, even if he was almost twenty years older than you. 
your dad had introduced the two of you during your spring break, with joel being an absolute gentleman, and for a little bit that was all you had. but then your dad was pulled away for work, and even though you were fully an adult, he wanted someone to be there for you if needed. he gave you joel’s phone number, along with the promise that joel would do anything to help you, and that started the snowball effect to the beginning of your relationship. 
you hardly used the number while you were home, but for some reason you found yourself staring at it one night alone when you were back in your apartment. joel hadn’t given you any hint, any indicator that he even liked you as a person. you mean, sure, he was kind and always polite to you when your dad had him over for dinners. but you noticed he always purposefully put some type of distance between you, and it just didn’t sit right with you. 
so, slightly drunk and alone, you sent him the first text message. a simple, hey, it’s y/n from next door, and then, because you were in a mood and wanted attention: sorry to bother you so late, but my dad told me to text you if i ever needed anything. immediately after you wished you could’ve deleted it, and a few minutes had passed before you decided to put your phone down for the rest of the night. just as you placed it on the table next to your bed, you felt it buzz. think he meant that for when you’re next door, but what can i do for ya? 
and that was that. you and joel texted throughout the night, and then all morning, and all afternoon, and all the next night. this continued for weeks, until you graduated to having nightly phone calls, and then facetime calls (you had to have joel ask sarah how to use facetime to begin with, but you thought that was cute) and for the rest of the semester, joel became your closest friend, and your biggest crush. and when you came home for the summer, you officially started dating joel miller. well… it was official between the two of you. 
you never imagined falling for your dad’s best friend, and yet, here you were, in his backyard, wearing the bathing suit he had bought you, wishing you could at least hold his hand in front of everyone. 
you saw his brown eyes dart in your direction as you moved near the grill, your ears picking up their conversation about the most recent football game. you watched as his pinky finger on the hand by his side extended ever so slightly, and as you walked passed, you brushed your pinky against his. the warmth the feeling gave you made you grin, and you slipped through his open back door, looking for sarah to help you and tommy set up the fireworks display in the street. 
the rest of the evening went by in a blur - there were hotdogs and burgers eaten, smores were made with the small bonfire tommy had started, the music volume continued to increase with every passing hour. by the time the sky was pitch black with only a smattering of stars, everyone was full, content, and ready to sit on the sidewalks and lawns to watch the display happening at the end of the cul-de-sac. 
you sat near sarah and some of her friends from soccer, listening to them gossip about what was going on in their highschool, but your focus was on joel. your eyes followed every movement of his, watching him pick up the boxes you had hauled out there and rearrange them. the gray t-shirt he was wearing was tighter around his arms, and you watched as the material strained against his biceps, his worn blue jeans curving to the muscles in his thighs. 
the sun had gone down hours ago, but your cheeks were burning like it was still noon. 
it finally came time for them to start the first round, and everyone chatted excitedly as they watched tommy set up the firework. you watched as joel tossed his brother a lighter, and before you knew it, sparks were flying across the pavement, and both brothers were running from it laughing. everyone’s head tilted back as they followed the spark, and seconds later a ground shaking boom exploded, the sky becoming colored in blue sparks. the children cheered, the adults laughed, and the dogs went crazy barking. 
you watched a couple more rounds, grinning as kids began chasing each other with sparklers and laughing when tommy burned his finger slightly on a rouge firework. pushing up on your feet, you wiped your pants for straw pieces of grass while you turned to sarah. “hey, i’m gonna go grab a popsicle, do you want one, hun?” the girls eyes met yours and she nodded her head while still talking to her friend. 
you made your way into the garage where you knew joel kept a deep freezer full of goodies on sarah’s behalf. you grabbed the first one you saw, a red cherry popsicle, and opened it while you searched the freezer for sarah’s favorite. you were so preoccupied that you didn’t make out the sound of the door to the garage click shut under the noise of the fireworks, didn’t realize that you were no longer alone until you shifted up and rough, callused hands spread across your exposed middle. 
“joel,” you gasped, turning around in his grip with a laugh. his brown eyes were lit with amusement, but they darkened slightly as they roamed down your chest, down your hips where the strings of the bikini bottoms were peaking out. his hands slid down your sides, resting on the waistband of your shorts as he tucked his fingers through the belt loops.
“y’just had to wear this damn bikini, didn’t you?” his voice was rough, grumpy almost, but that was joel’s typical voice, so you just laughed in response. behind you, the freezer door fell shut, and joel took the opportunity to lift you up so that you were sitting on top. the cold surface made you shiver, but it was joel stepping between your legs, pressing his hips against yours harshly that gave you goosebumps. 
“well, a nice older man did buy it for me, so i felt compelled.” you teased, moving one of your arms to rest against his shoulder while you licked along your popsicle, the treat already melting in the heat building up in the garage. joel’s eyes zeroed in on the movement, and you couldn’t help but grin as you repeated the motion, sucking the popsicle further in your mouth than probably necessary, watching as his brown eyes practically blended in with his pupils. 
“god, you’re trouble,” joel managed to get out before his lips slanted over yours. you moaned into the kiss, consciously holding your popsicle to the side so it didn’t get all over the two of you. your other hand moved to the back of his head, fingers running through his brown locks gently. joel swiped his tongue against your bottom lip and made a low humming sound. “taste like cherries,” he commented, sliding his hand from your waist up to your throat. 
“it’s the popsicle,” you gasped out, feeling joel’s hand encompass your neck. he pulled your hips forward against his by your belt loop, rocking you against him. his lips trailed from yours down to your jaw, down your neck, to your chest. the action had you panting out his name like a prayer, and it only further encouraged him. he managed to untie your bikini top without you noticing, and he roughly yanked the material over your head. 
“let me see this thing,” leaning back, he took the popsicle from your grip, your hand becoming sticky from it melting in your hand. he licked it himself, which had you giggling, but then he put the treat up to your mouth. “open up, baby. wanna see you lick this like you lick me, yeah?” his voice was soft, comforting almost, which went against the actions of his hands, as one tightened around your neck and the other pushed the cherry treat into your mouth. 
your eyes went hazy, and you focused on maintaining eye contact with joel while your face burned with heat. your mouth wrapped around the popsicle, letting him push it in as far as it could go. the coldness of the treat shocked you momentarily, feeling a slight burning sensation against your tongue as he held the popsicle in your mouth for a moment before slowly pulling it out. 
your cheeks hollowed against it, sucking as much of the flavor off as you could, and when joel pulled it out of your mouth, a red string of your spit fell from your lips to your chest, dripping down in between the valley of your breasts. “fuck, honey.” joel groaned, his hips rutting against yours momentarily before he leaned down, licking up the trail of red juice on your skin. a whimper escaped from your mouth as you pressed your chest closer to his mouth, and joel took the opportunity to force the popsicle back in your mouth. 
he slowly moved the popsicle inside your mouth, and even though he had his eyes closed while he pressed his mouth against your chest, you twirling your tongue around the treat, wanting to please him always. you could feel your bathing suit bottom sticking to your core with how wet you were becoming, and you wiggled your hips against joel’s body to get some type of friction. 
he sucked one last kiss against your neck, biting against your skin before he pulled away. “goddamn, baby. such a good girl for me, huh? suckin’ on this popsicle like it’s my damn cock.” his crude words made you whimper, and with one last twist, he pulled the popsicle out of your mouth. his dark eyes stared at your mouth for a moment, taking in how red the popsicle made your lips. how wet they were from your saliva. 
joel’s mouth formed into a smirk before it was pressed against yours. your fingers tangled in his hair, your nails scratching his scalp faintly. he sucked your bottom lip in his mouth, running his tongue over it slowly as if savoring the cherry flavor. his teeth nipped your lip, causing a moan to emit from your mouth. joel grinned against your mouth, and you tugged him closer, desperately seeking more. 
the air in the garage was becoming suffocating, and you could feel sweat forming along your upper body. joel could feel it too, still clad in his t-shirt and jeans, and he gave you one more deep kiss before he pulled away. “you feelin’ hot, baby?” you could only nod your head, a whimper escaping your mouth as he grinned wickedly at you, eyeing the popsicle once more, the treat half melted. “let’s cool ya down, then.”
you watched with a slightly opened mouth as joel moved the popsicle to your chest, and you gasped when he pressed it against your skin, moving it down the valley of your breast. the coldness made goosebumps rise across your chest, and you couldn’t help the small moans at how good it felt. joel’s attention was solely on popsicle, watching the sticky trail of red juice follow where he guided it. 
“joel,” you whimpered, reaching down to grip his forearm tightly. you could see him smile, could see him bite down on his bottom lip as he moved the popsicle to trail over your nipple. the gasp you made had him obsessed, and he ran the cold treat over your sensitive nub over and over again, taking in your gasps and moans, which were being drowned out by the fireworks outside. 
“fuck, you look so pretty like this.” joel muttered, almost to himself, but you could make out the words in his deep voice. he sounded strained, as if he were holding himself back from simply pouncing on you. you wish he would, though, as you could feel your inner thighs become wet with your slick. your core was clenching around nothing, and it had been so long since the two of you were able to get away that you were desperately aching for him. 
the popsicle was melting quicker now, the juices moving swiftly down your stomach as joel traced the popsicle across your chest to the other nipple. you were squirming as much as you could, seconds away from begging joel to stop and to just fuck you already. but you could see it in his eyes that he wanted this, that he was enjoying this, so you let him have it, and you admired the growing bulge in his jeans. 
soon the popsicle was nothing but a puddle mixed into your skin, and joel tossed the stick to the side. “think i need to clean you up now, baby. look at the mess you made,” he said with a tsk, as if you were the one who drew on your chest with the popsicle. you didn’t have it in you to argue, though, especially when joel bent down and took your sensitive nipple in his mouth.
the contrast of the cold popsicle juice with joel’s warm mouth had you groaning, and you slumped against the garage wall as joel traced the popsicle trail with his tongue across your chest. he would pause here and there to place open mouthed kisses along your skin, and you knew in the morning you’d have some small bruises littering your skin. you liked wearing them though, liked having the reminder than joel had marked you as his. because you were, undoubtedly. 
“joel, baby, please,” you whimpered, not fully understanding what you were asking for, but joel thought you were begging so beautifully. he wanted to hear you plead his name for the rest of his life. he pulled your nipple in his mouth, tweaking it with his teeth. a sharp pain flitted through your body, only lasting a second, but he did it again, and again, and soon you were panting.
“please, what?” joel mocked, grinning against your skin as he moved to squeeze your breast with his rough hands. “this not enough for ya?” satisfied that he cleaned up the mess the popsicle had made, he trailed his mouth up to your neck and across your jaw before pausing right in front of your face. his breath was warm as it fanned across your face, and you leaned in to kiss him but he pulled away, a teasing grin on his face. 
“no,” you whined, moving your hands down the waist of his jeans. he let your fingers fumble with the button before he unbuttoned his pants himself, yanking the zipper down. your hand went inside his boxers immediately, and joel let out a curse as your fingers wrapped around the hard length of this cock. just the feeling of it in your hand had you moaning, and you slid your hand along his shaft the best you could in your position. 
“‘course it ain’t enough for you. your needy little cunt needs more, yeah? needs my cock in it to stretch it out?” his hips moved in rhythm with your hand, his hand resting against the freezer top in a fist. his eyes fell shut as you pumped along his cock, and you bit down on your bottom lip as you watched him. you loved seeing him like this, because it made you feel powerful. like you were the only person who could bring joel pleasure like this. 
with a growl, joel’s hands suddenly moved to your shorts, where he unbuttoned them with swiftness and yanked them down. you lifted your hips, helping him get the material past your thighs, and they fell to the garage floor. “feet up, baby.” joel tapped your thigh gently, and you removed your hand from his boxers, lifting your legs up and bending your knees to rest your feet on the edge of the freezer. 
you wanted to blame the wet feeling between your legs on the humid air gathering inside the garage, but you would’ve been a damn liar. you could feel yourself soaking through the material of your bikini bottoms, and you knew the moment joel was able to see it because he let out a string of curses. he brought his hand to the material, running his fingers gently down the seam, and you both moaned. 
“jesus christ, honey. have you been wet like this for me the entire time?” his southern accent was starting to show more, as it did when he got excited. he ran his fingers along the seam once more before pushing the flimsy material to the side and running his finger through your wet folds, and he groaned at feeling how wet you were before sliding one of his fingers inside of you. 
“oh, yes, joel. please, fuck me, please,” you whimpered, your hips rocking against the freezer in tandem with his finger as he pumped it inside of you. if you were more cognizant, you would’ve probably been embarrassed by the noise that was coming from between your legs, but you were too lost in the pleasure, especially when joel moved his thumb up to glide against your clit. 
“you are askin’ nicely, baby,” he said, mostly to himself as he watched his finger push inside of you, watched the wetness that coated it with every pump. he was obsessed with the way you were clenching around him, and he could hardly wait himself to feel that movement against his dick. “yeah, i think i will fuck ya.” 
with one last push, he pulled his finger out from inside you, and laughed when he heard you whine about the loss. “‘s okay, honey. promise i’m gonna fill that little pussy up with my cock real soon, okay?” he made quick work of letting his jeans hit the floor, soon followed by his boxers. his throbbing cock sprung free from his underwear, and you couldn’t help but trail your hand down to your core, pushing your bottoms to the side and slipping your fingers through your wetness at the sight of him. he let out a low groan before spitting in his hand, bringing it to the tip of his cock and slowly palming it while he watched you swirl your fingers against your clit. 
“here baby, make sure ‘m nice and wet for that pussy,” joel muttered, stepping closer to your body as held the underside of his cock in his hand, still pumping it up and down slightly. you ran your fingers through your folds once more, gathering the wetness that had started to spread down your thighs, and reached out to wrap your fingers around his tip. soon, the head of his cock was shining from both his spit and your juices. 
joel moved his left hand to settle on your waist, tilting his thumb down just enough to pull the material of your bikini to the side. his other hand continued to work his shaft as he moved even closer, his knees hitting against the side of the freezer. his eyes were solely focused on your exposed pussy, but you were watching his face, wanting to see his expression when he put it in for the first time. 
“god, you’re so pretty down here. think i’m the luckiest man in texas, baby.” joel said, a smirk settled on his lips as he ran the tip of his cock through your folds, your mouth dropping open in a sigh as you felt it slide against your clit. joel moved to grip the hem of his t-shirt, and he lifted it to his mouth, holding it between his teeth. you took in the sight of his tan and toned body, and then his eyes snapped up to meet yours as he pushed the head into your wet hole, the both of you taking in each other’s reaction. 
you fought the urge to close your eyes, the feeling of his big cock stretching you out was almost too much for you. your nose scrunched up slightly, and a louder moan came from your throat. for the first time that night, you were glad tommy had spent two hours shopping for fireworks, as the sound of the explosives and festivities drowned out your cries. joel bit down on his bottom lip as he continued to push himself inside of you, mentally focusing on not coming right then and there. 
he paused when he was fully seated inside of you, taking a moment to catch his breath as the two of you were both panting in the heated garage. you noticed joel’s forehead had become slick with sweat, and you gently brushed back the dark hair that had fallen forward. your hand slipped down to rest on his cheek, and he pressed a kiss into the middle of your palm before he started moving his hips. 
“fuck, joel,” you whimpered, your foot slipping from it’s hold on the edge of the freezer. joel moved his right hand to grip your thigh, spreading you open before him once more. his nails dug little half-moon imprints in the fat of your thigh, and the angle allowed you to take him a little deeper than before. 
“that’s what i’m doin’ honey,” his words were slightly muffled from the t-shirt in his mouth, but you could see the grin from his teasing, letting out a sharp laugh before it turned into a groan. he moved to pull his cock out, and you almost cried at the loss, your hips moving on their own accord to follow his length. his grip on your waist tightened, keeping you still, until he barely had the head of his cock inside. he thrusted forward again, much quicker this time, and this time your eyes did screw shut at the feeling of is cock filling you up so completely. 
your hands rested on his shoulders, gripping him so hard that you were basically anchoring yourself to him. “so deep, joel… so good,” you praised, your head rolling back on your neck as joel continued to fuck you at a thourough pace. the t-shirt fell from his mouth as he started to moan. his knees banged against the freezer, the freezer banged against the wall, and the fireworks outside masqued both the sounds. curses and praises fell from joel’s mouth - “fuckin’ hell, baby. your pussy gets tighter every damn time i fuck you, huh? you’re doin’ so good, honey, takin’ my cock like a good girl” - and you were feeling so hot, so full. joel was nearly fucking you into oblivion with how muddled your thoughts were. 
the sound of his skin slapping against your wet skin was all you could focus on, a noise you would’ve been more embarrassed by if it weren’t a testament of how turned on joel made you. each stroke of his cock had you whimpering, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. you moved a hand down to your pussy, moving your fingers against your clit and brushing up against his length every time he thrusted inside of you. the action not only made heat pool to your stomach, but it made joel groan. “that’s it baby, play with that little clit of yours. gonna make yourself come on my cock tonight? gonna let me fill this pussy up with my cum?” 
“oh my god, joel, please - right there,” you sobbed, your inner thighs shaking slightly as the feelings became too much to handle. joel picked up on how close you were to coming with how tightly your pussy was clenching around him, and he continued to thrust his hips against yours, the wet noises coming from between your legs made his head feel light. 
small, breathy pants fell from your mouth as you moved your fingers faster against your clit, and distantly you could hear joel encouraging you to let go - “that’s it, honey. you’re takin’ my cock so well, let me make you feel good baby.” - and as joel leaned forward to place a kiss on your damp forehead, you felt yourself burst. a loud cry came from your lips as your body went rigid, little white stars showing up behind your eyelids as pleasure coursed through every vein in your body. 
“oh, fuck, baby,” joel groaned out, his grip on your body becoming impossibly tight as his hips thrust into you, his movements faltering slightly. the feeling of your pussy clenching around his length while you came was what sent him over, and he ground his hips against yours as he came. you could feel his cock throbbing, the warmth from his seed filling you up as joel tilted his head back and moaned. you watched him through hooded eyes, struggling to catch your breath, but the sight of joel coming was almost enough to help you come again. 
he kept his cock inside you as you both came down from your orgasms, and it moved inside you a little when he leaned forward again, making you whimper. “sorry, baby,” joel said softly, slowly pulling himself out while pressing his lips against yours. you eagerly kissed him back, moving a hand to rest on the back of his neck while he deepened the kiss. you felt unbelievably wet, and you couldn’t help but giggle. 
“your cum is running down my thigh, miller.” you said against his lips, causing the older man to laugh. he pulled away enough to take in the mess that was leaking out of your pussy, and then he did something that shocked you - he gathered up the slick with two of his fingers before pushing it back inside of you. your nails dug into his skin as his fingers entered your sore pussy, moaning softly as he watched himself intensely. 
his gaze moved back to your eyes, where he gave you a wicked grin before leaning in to kiss you again. you sighed against his mouth, your body relaxing on the freezer before the two of you started to clean yourselves up. joel went into the house to grab a washcloth and a spare t-shirt for you, considering your chest was stained red and covered in little hickeys. he gently cleaned the mess from between your legs, then himself, and helped you pull your shorts back on. you had him help tie your bikini top again, his fingers coasting against your skin. he gave the back of your neck a quick kiss before turning you around and putting his t-shirt over you. 
“there. now those pervs outside can’t catch a glimpse of ya,” he said, seeming satisfied with himself as he yanked up his pants. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes - his cum was literally dripping out of your pussy and yet he was acting jealous. 
“oh? you mean pervs like you?” you teased, laughing as he swatted away your fingers that were trying to poke him. you thought you heard him mutter something in agreement, but a particularly loud firework went off at the same moment, so you were clueless. you figured that they were on the finale with how frequent and how loud the next few fireworks were, so you gave joel one last kiss before sneaking out the door, which you thankfully noticed was locked. 
as you made your way to the grass, you mentally ran a checklist. you remembered to put your shorts back on, along with your top and a t-shirt. you remembered to clean off the freezer top with one of the towels joel kept in the garage, and you remembered to let your hair down to cover a hickey on the side of your neck. you remembered to go out the garage door, while joel went out through the living room, as he told tommy he was going in to get medicine for a headache. you felt like the two of you had covered all the bases as you sat down on the grass near sarah. 
“hey, where are our popsicles?”
oh, fuck. 
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gguk-n · 3 months ago
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Grand Prix Morning (Oscar Piastri x Reader)
Congratulations Oscar on his first win!!
Summary- After watching the Hungarian GP and seeing Oscar apologise after his first win, you wish you could make him feel special and that he deserved it. So, you go to bed and wake up on the day of the GP!
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{Reader's POV}
I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad right now. Oscar Piastri just won his first race in Formula One and in his second season. That was such a proud moment until you remember the actual shit McLaren pulled on their drivers. I had been watching the race today, Oscar was pretty good in the beginning and being his fan I obviously hoped that this was the race he finally got his first win. But after the pit stop and Lando leading I didn't think possible; until I heard the radio message. I had mixed feelings. I rejoiced watching Oscar cross the chequered flag. But then I heard his message, apologising. It broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. But what could I do? My voice would be a tiny whisper in the sea. I shut my TV off, not in the mood to watch any of the post race stuff; because I felt bad for Lando too. I couldn't bear sitting through the interviews. So, I made myself some dinner, watched a rom-com to get my mind of things and went to bed, earlier than usual. I would deal with my emotions tomorrow.
Now when you normally sleep, you expect to wake up in your own bed, as an adult at least. When you were kids, that was a different story. My eyes were adjusting to the dimly lit room and a figure in front of me, walking around the room as quietly as possible. The room looked like a hotel room and the figure in front of me was Oscar Piastri. "Oscar" I said out loud. "baby, did I wake you up?" he asked like a deer caught in headlight. "No" I replied tentatively. Was this a dream? Was I this sad that this is how I was coping? "What's the time?" I asked reaching for the lamp. "It's 6 am. I'm gonna get some exercise done before I head to the paddock" he said while tying up his shoe lace. "I'll come with you when you leave for the paddock" I stated; scared to be alone where ever I was. "Sure babe" he replied, striding up to my side of the bed, leaning down and leaving a peck on my lips before whispering a bye against my lips and heading out.
My brain had short circuited. Oscar Piastri kissed me and called me terms of endearment. This has to be a dream but those pink lips were so real, warm and slightly dry and peeling. The way his hand cupped my cheek when he pecked me, the warmth still lingering against my skin. I reached for my phone to check what weekend it was; to my surprise it was the Hungarian Grand Prix today. The race Oscar won, maybe I'm here to wrong the right. I quickly showered and got dressed. If I got to be a WAG even for a day, I was gonna enjoy it. I wore a pretty coral midi dress. As I sat there in the room waiting for Oscar to return, a smile etched on my face as I went through my gallery.
We had been dating for a while, since his F2 days. He was all the bit romantic as I imagined him to be. My parents loved him, his parents loved me. This felt like a fairytale. There was one problem, Oscar would probably know that I was someone else and not his 'girlfriend'. I don't know how this version of me acted. The jig would be up so soon.
Oscar walked through the room, all sweaty and red from the work out. "Lemme shower and then we'll get breakfast" he said not even looking up while taking his shoes off. The moment his eyes travelled up from my legs to my face, a smirk plastered across his face. "You look gorgeous" he said almost breathless. I couldn't help but giggle. "You look hot" I replied. "Only for you" he shrugged. I felt the heat rise up from my cheeks. "Can't believe I can still get you this flustered, even after so many years" he smiled with amusement. I got up from where I was sat, "You'll get me flustered even when I'm an old lady" I muttered. "That's the plan" he grinned.
A freshly showered Oscar was proving to be the bane of my existence like out of the gym Oscar was. I wanted to jump him, but it didn't feel right and I wasn't taking advantage of him like this. The way to the paddock was filled with casual talk. Who knew Oscar could talk. At the paddock, we greeted the other drivers and fans we saw along the way. The McLaren hospitality was bustling with both pole and P2 starts were McLaren's. I tried to speak to their race engineers to gauge the strategy but I wasn't allowed. I even tried to talk to Lando and Oscar about the race, but they were busy discuss the details amongst themselves to pay much attention. I spent the majority of my time trying to figure out what I was supposed to do to change the scenario. I wanted Oscar to win but not with the mess McLaren created.
As the race progressed, like I had watched it play out. I realised, I wasn't meant to change the process or outcome. I was just here because I hoped and prayed to be able to comfort Oscar and celebrate his win like I hoped he was supposed to enjoy his first win. I watched McLaren fuck it up whilst I stood there next to him. I heard Oscar apologise for the second time, shattering my heart again. I rushed to see Oscar with the staff in tow. Oscar got out of the car and looked around, our eyes met. He came running with his helmet in hand, "I won" he whispered, only for me to hear. "I saw" I replied with tears in my eyes. "I'm so proud of you. You've come so far Oscar. You're the Hungarian Grand Prix winner, don't apologise for your win whatever it may be" I whispered. Oscar's face inches from mine, his eyes glistening with tears at what I said, "I love you, Y/N Y/L/N" he said out loud while wrapping his free arm around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss. The kiss was a mixture of tears and sweat, since the two of us had started crying. I cupped his cheeks, deepening the kiss, our emotions were all over the place. "Go and get your trophy, I'll wait for you" I said while pulling away from the kiss. "Be right back" he grinned and left to get weighed.
The podium celebration was bitter sweet, but I was not gonna let this over shadow his win and do what I was here for. I quickly got flowers delivered to the hotel and some sweets. I waited for Oscar to be done with the media and stuff while scrolling through my phone. The discourse was on another level, but the pictures of me and Oscar kissing were circulating every where. I wish I could take this back with me. Oscar's mum called and we were on the phone for a while. My parents called us to congratulate him as well. It felt so weird to hear Oscar was my boyfriend.
Oscar found me in his drivers room. "There's my grand prix winner" I stated. Oscar wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me up in the process. My hands stabilised myself on his shoulders. "I'm so happy we got to celebrate this together" he mumbled against my skin. "Me too" I muttered. "By the way, your mum called. You should talk to her later" I said urging Oscar to put me down. "Are you angry with me?" he asked, placing me on the ground. "What? no" I replied. "You've been calling me Oscar or nothing at all the whole day. I didn't think much of it before but now you said your mum when you normally say mum" I was caught off guard, "It's nothing like that" I tried to diffuse the situation. "My mum texted me too about your win and yours called. I just wanted to clarify" I said. "Oh" he hummed. "Now, let's go. Let's have a Oscar Piastri worthy celebration" I continued. "Like what" he asked. "Dinner in bed and a movie of your choosing." I answered. "Finally, I get to choose." he laughed.
We got back to the hotel, where there were quite a few flowers. I may have gone over board. We entered the room which looked like a botanical garden at this point. Oscar smiled taking the scene in. "For me" he whispered. "For you" I whispered back. "I wanted to show you how much I love you and how proud of you I was. This is just a small token of my happiness Osc" I said. "You're the reason Lando calls me Osc. Find a new nickname. I don't like sharing it with him. But thank you for this" he remarked. "Sure darling" I announced. He walked through smelling all the flowers. We spent the rest of the night watching a movie Oscar had picked and eating our hearts content.
I was scared to fall asleep, what if I woke up back where I was supposed to be. What if this 'reality' ceased to exist? As my eyes got heavy, keeping them open was a task. Oscar had started succumbing to sleep having switched the TV off. "Thank you for making my day even more special then it was." He mumbled. "Thank you for letting me show how loved and appreciated you are. I love you Oscar. Today, tomorrow and always." I whispered kissing his forehead; letting sleep take me. If I woke up back in my world, so be it. At least I made Oscar's day.
When my eyes opened to the bright sun shining from my window, no Oscar in sight. A silent tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away. Happy that at the very least I was able to heal my heart, and maybe his in another universe.
my heart wanted to write this for a while
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yeoldenews · 4 months ago
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I don't know how much you think about it, but you wrote a post back in Mar 2020:
"A sincere request from someone who has spent her entire adult life wishing people had kept better records…In the coming weeks and months… RECORD WHAT IS HAPPENING."
That post got me to start properly journaling properly, after trying and failing when I was younger. A majority of it is 'just' day-to-day progress updates on my fiction writing, but there's a bit of stuff about my life, and some briefer stuff about the world beyond. Not a lot, but some. Four (and change) years, and my journal is just short of 186K words.
I remembered your post, seeing today's SCOTUS decisions. I remembered your post, and I remembered a line you'd written: "Are you scared to death? Write it down."
I just...I don't know. I just wanted you to know your post made an impact, and I don't know what the fuck is coming over the next week and month and year and decade, but...I'm writing shit down. I'm writing shit down, and it's all because of your post.
You have no idea how much this means to me, and how badly I needed to hear it this week - so thank you. Truly. I am genuinely moved, and so proud of you for your 186k words.
History is made up of the stories people decided to save - and the first step to making sure a story gets saved is writing it down.
I really, really hate writing. Like more than just about anything. I'm a chronic perfectionist, and it can take me a whole afternoon to finish a single paragraph I'm satisfied with. (I spent three days writing this response, and you don't even want to know how long I spend on some of the things I post.) So keeping a journal is not a task I'd ever felt the need to afflict myself with before the pandemic. When I made the post you referenced, my journaling habit was all of ten days old but, against all the odds, here I am over four years later having never (to my recollection) missed a single day.
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My daily records of what my cats are doing, and your day-to-day writing progress may not be extensively poured over by future scholars, but for only a few minutes of effort a day we now have recorded hundreds of stories.
And who knows what the people of the future might find fascinating. I'm sure the teenage girl in Philadelphia who smudged the letter she was writing in 1897 because a bee scared her would be absolutely baffled that thousands of people were still laughing about the incident 125 years later.
So much of history, and life in general, doesn't become clear until long after the fact. Historical records are full of people overreacting about events that ended up having very little significance in hindsight, and under-reacting about events they no had no idea were about to change the world. But being able to go back and see what people wrote in the moment, preserving their honest thoughts and hopes and fears, is about as close as you can get to time travel.
Maybe what we fear will come true and we're recording history, maybe we'll look back on what we wrote today and go "phew! that was a close one!", or maybe nothing will come of it at all - I pray it will be the last one, but, whatever the outcome, it's worth writing down.
(Also voting. Please, please vote.)
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foreverdolly · 6 months ago
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dolly announcement:
i just want to thank each and every person that has checked on me over the last eleven days. life has been crazy and i’m still very much in denial over everything. the loss of my father has changed me fundamentally… however i have never felt more motivated to make a life for myself that he would he proud of. with that being said i would like to gain back some semblance of my former life. writing has always been my passion, my escape and a way for me to connect with others! so my blog will go back to normal as of today!
i will also be updating/posting some fics very soon:
“savage bonds”: update will be on thursday at ten o’clock est. adult themes will be included in this chapter, so please read the special warnings before delving in.
“i just ride”: update will be saturday at ten o’clock est. adult themes and minor angst will be included in this chapter so please check the special warnings (the smut is sweet and loving though… unlike the fic above)
i will be introducing a new knight!austin butler x princess!reader mini series next saturday at ten o’clock est. it will comprise of four full length chapters. teasers for the first chapter will be posted up until the official day to get you all excited.
i am also working on a paul atreides oneshot that will be posted the saturday after next.
if i make any tweaks or additions to this fic schedule then i will let you all know before hand!
love love love you all.
-xoxo dolly
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osachiyo · 7 months ago
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You adults need to grow the fuck up. I am a writer myself and i think minors should be allowed to read and interact with smut. I don’t understand what the issue is?? What’re y’all adults even “protecting”? Minors from smut? LMFAO please, I know you all watched/read porn when you were a teen, so why are WE the problem when it comes to interacting with nsfw??
i was not expecting this kind of ask today but 🤡
listen child, your first mistake was assuming that i want to protect you from porn/smut on the internet because i don’t ! i don’t know who the hell you are and it sure as hell isn’t my responsibility to protect you from these things — that’s your parents job. i could not care less about you, you are a random stranger in the internet to me as i am to you so let’s just get that out of the way 💀
secondly, you assumed that i watched porn as a teenager to which my response is absolutely not. i grew up in a very religious and strict house and wasn’t even allowed to have my own phone until i was 16 so that’s that. and i didn’t even LIKE porn, and i still don’t to this day. seeing naked women and men is not my thing, that’s why i READ it ! and honestly, you should not be proud to watch/read porn at a young age, that is not anything to boast about. especially if you have a porn addiction.
when i was a teen, i thought fanfics were cringe and nerdy as fuck, that’s why i didn’t read them 💀 and my mindset has definitely changed since then !! i didn’t start reading fanfics till i was 17 and my go-to was wattpad :) i was reading haikyuu fluff and heavy angst series’s because i wasn’t interested in lemon/smut.
thirdly, you think you’re so mature but you can’t even comprehend that people have boundaries, and you should follow those boundaries. not letting minors follow me is my boundary and im sticking to it. i couldn’t give a shit if you feel attacked or left out because of a simple boundary that a random ass stranger on the internet has ! and wanna know the funny thing? you could always read the fic and not interact with it so you don’t get blocked 🤯 shocking, isn’t it? now go and do your damn homework 💀
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ryuichirou · 4 months ago
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Replies
Catching up! So today we’re mostly having replies related to all the stuff we posted recently.
Starting with the most important question.
Anonymous asked:
Wait, Idia got called a brocon? When?
He did! Grim called him a brocon in 5-13 right after we saw Ortho for the first time :3 (timestamp on 5:42 just in case)
Anonymous asked:
How does that smoke beer donut taste?
(this is about this drawing)
Very smoky! And like something Gidel isn’t supposed to eat…
Anonymous asked:
I wanna see some of your traditional art
Actually, Anon, you’re looking at it…
The majority of things that we post daily was originally drawn traditionally, and then coloured digitally. I really want to do more art that is 100% traditional, but never get a chance to for a bunch of reasons :(
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Anonymous asked:
I love your analysis holy cow! see its because of Book 5 that i cant stop seeing Vil and Rook as mom and dad. i love this ship mind you, (they are my comfort ship and it gives me life whenever you draw them you beautiful soul) but even if some didnt see them as a romantic couple--in my opinion they still have that VIBE you know? Like whenever they're there you just cant help but feel like BRO THEY WOULD BEAT UP YOUR BULLIES AND THEN GROUND YOU AND SEND YOU TO YOUR ROOM FOR FIGHTING IN THE FIRST PLACE LOL is it just a me feeling?
(this is related to this post)
Thank you for your kind words, Anon! I am very happy you enjoyed the analysis and that you like my RookVil art <3
Yeah, I think these two being very parental is pretty obvious and pretty intentional! All jokes aside, Pomefiore trio really feels like it was written in a way that they would read as a family. We don’t usually like this trope because characters playing house could get pretty boring, and a lot of family-related tropes don’t resonate with us at all. So I am surprised to this day that we love Pomefiore’s vibes so much. I’m guessing that it’s because of how unusual of a family they are, how Epel actually fights with Vil a lot, and how he grows from being a little brat to being a little brat that is eager to grow and excited to show his senpais his new cool magic tricks, while they tease him but still are very proud and excited for him. Like, they’re strict and would smack him (well, Vil would) but they also want him to grow. Woah, that sounds way too wholesome ew lol
Anyways! Even if we exclude Epel, and this is another thing I’ve talked about a lot, I genuinely feel like Rook and Vil were intentionally written as a couple that has been together for quite some time, at least coding-wise. There are just too many tropes and situations that they have that are usually used for couples… Alright I’ll stop myself or I’ll rant about them again even though I just did a couple of weeks ago.
blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:
I just love baby Vil so much, makes me wonder what happened
(this is about this drawing)
Adults with shitty opinions + kids that can’t separate reality from fiction happened… truly, two of the worst things that could happen to a possible friendship between actors.
A couple of asks about this drawing:
Anonymous asked:
Oh oh! I saw! Che'nya art! We (smiley kitty fans) are starving! Thank you for the food! It is delicious! May we have another plate, please?
Poor smiley kitty fans! :( I am so sorry you’re starving! Please enjoy your food.
Unfortunately I don’t have any more smiley catfood for you…….. yet.
Anonymous asked:
*see Chenya *
*starts biting at the bars of my containment*
Better question for him..... What that tongue do??? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
What that tongue doesn’t do, Anon? Wink
Anonymous asked:
Question. How much of Riddle's body do you think Che'nya would lick to clean him?
In theory, he’d probably get bored pretty quickly, but I kind of want him to just keep licking… Riddle thought it would be over 15 minutes ago, but Che’nya’s still licking… The moment he would be done with his face, ears and head (cat saliva in Riddle’s hair…), Riddle would realise that Che’nya is determined to lick him all over. Time to call Trey…
blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:
Riddle gets licked my Chenya often in my lil delulu ass world
Sometimes Che’nya randomly appears, licks his cheek and disappears again.
Anonymous asked:
Bro I gotta know, what do the tweel's dick(s) look like on their merform? I was scrolling on ur bluesky and saw this one with jade and idia and something between idia's legs and I was like "is that his dick?" If so DAYUM! May that bussy rest in peace
Love your art and speedpaints btw💗
Thank you for enjoying my art and especially my speedpaints! I am very happy to hear that <3
Hehe I’m glad you liked that one! I had a lot of fun with that piece.
I feel like I draw merpeen differently every single time lol but I love the design we came up with for that Jade/Idia drawing, and in fact I do have a post in which I talk about how it probably works! There aren’t any pictures there, but there are some interesting thoughts…
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abcd-adventures · 2 months ago
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Not an "easy read"--feel free to skip.
Friends, it has been a week. I am so. freakin. happy. to have zero plans today (other than, of course, catching up on a million chores). B even slept in until 6am. I was so grateful I'd turned my alarm off because that meant that I also slept in until 6am; I honestly cannot remember the last time I've done that. Even my mother coming out here to disrupt our quiet morning and make a jab at me about not going to church isn't going to derail this sense of peace. *eye roll. She's been sick, so I just casually asked her if she was going to church today. She responded, "Yes. Are you?" Look, man, I fully support anyone's spiritual or religious choices and practices so long as they're not harmful to others. Personally, I have never felt further away from my own sense of spirituality than I do in a church. It's not for me; I wish that didn't translate into my mother constantly in anguish about me going to hell, but what can you do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, on Monday, I left work to take a friend to the psych ER for severe SI and a transfer to inpatient. Let me tell you, that process is horrific. As a therapist--and just...you know...a human--I actually cannot think of much worse for a person having a mental health crisis than to be put into what is essentially a cell in a psych ER. (And, please don't come at me to explain why they are the way they are because I do actually know all of that but my statement stands.) Thankfully, I was able to stay with my friend and eventually even able to transport them myself--SEVEN HOURS LATER--to the inpatient hospital, but everyone else was there alone. I honestly cannot imagine. While there, I got a call from CPS...nothing like that to scare ten years off of your life. They were actually calling about one of C's siblings because they needed an adult relative to release said sibling to or they were going to have to spend the night in CPS custody. I am not actually a relative, but I explained that my son is and gave them his number and then called him to prep him and talk him through the situation. Holy. Shit. Our house is already full to bursting, so I gave him money to get a hotel nearby and some essentials and dinner. Then, the SAME NIGHT, my husband had to call in a wellness check on my MIL and said, "It just feels like this is the night I'm going to hear that they've found her dead." That was not the case, but she is...not doing well, but was doing well enough to refuse EMS intervention.
I am very grateful to be able to support the people I love in facing difficult things. My friend is doing so much better already. My son is making me very proud of how he is being there for his sibling, and my husband and I are making a plan for what we can do for his mother. It is a lot, and it is heavy, but quiet days at home help. And, I would take the heaviness any day if it means that we have the privilege of being there for others.
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ros3ybabe · 11 months ago
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Day 10 - 90 Day Challenge 🎀
I feel really good about today. I got a lot done despite trying to nap three times (I wasn't able to actually get any sleep), and the only reason I kept trying to nap was because I've been up since 3am. It's easy to get a lot done when you've been up forever.
🏋‍♀️ Physical Health
took a walk around campus outside
logged most of everything I ate into my food tracking app
cooked a healthy breakfast + ate a serving of fruit (red grapes)
🧠 Mental Health
morning guided journal
night time guided journal
retail therapy <3 (bought some makeup on the ulta app)
❤️ Emotional Health
read 2 sections of 101 Essays to Change the Way You Think
answered the journal prompt "what is one of my limiting self beliefs?"(realized I'm the reason I don't have many friends, need to change that)
📚 Intellectual Health
finished chapter 13 notes for psyc
completed all of chapter 14 notes for psyc
selected my articles for my reflection paper for my health and sport class + formatted Google docs for each article reflection writing
(This all took me 2.5 hours from 4am to 630am, the perks of accidentally waking up early as heck)
🏘 Adulting
organized my desk drawer
reached out + invited my older brother to come see me since he was in town (he'll be here soon!)
had a phone call with my dad
🥰 Self Love/Care
morning skincare
night skincare (just moisturizer, I was tired)
took a warm shower + brushed my teeth (as gross as it sounds that I don't do it every day, depression sucks and I'm proud of myself for even one win )
made my bed (trying to make it a habit)
let in morning sunlight until it began to get dim outside (keeps electricity costs down and boosts my mood when I'm in my room)
I am very proud of myself for today despite my lack of motivation these last few days. Hopefully, this carries over to tomorrow, and I can be productive at least a little bit before i have to go to work. There's still time in the day, but I'm satisfied with today, which is why I'm posting this a bit early in the evening. Thank you and much love to everyone who has been commenting encouraging and supportive things it makes it easier to be open and honest about my struggles, mental health, and overall well-being.
til next time, lovelies 🩷
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anonymousewrites · 2 months ago
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Adolescent Antichrist (Book 6) Chapter Fourteen
Father Figure! Lucifer Morningstar x Teen! Reader
Demon! OC x Reader
Chapter Fourteen: I’m Not Big on the God Thing
Summary: It's time to face Michael and the war for godhood.
            (Y/N) stood in front of Em, Noa, Olive, Leon, and Marcel. All of them wore serious expressions. Behind (Y/N), the sun of the day of the election rose in the sky. It cast long shadows across the terrace, which only stretched longer with (Y/N)’s movements.
            “That’s the situation. An election that’s going to become a war,” said (Y/N). “I’m not going to lie to any of you. It’s going to be dangerous. Michael won’t hold back. He’s shown how far he’s willing to go to become God. If anyone doesn’t want to risk their lives, I won’t blame them. We’re young. We’re not even adults. But I am going to fight. I have to. I can’t sit around and let Michael have a larger chance of winning by not facing him myself. I owe it to all of you and everyone else in the world to do the right thing.”
            They swallowed. “So? What do you say?”
            “I’m with you,” said Em. “You’ve known that from the start. I have your back, Birdie.”
            (Y/N) smiled at her and then looked at the others.
            “You’re an idiot,” said Noa. “I mean, you’re one of the most powerful people we know, but you’re an idiot.”
            “Of course we’re going to go with you,” said Olive, smiling. “We’re fighting with you to the end.”
            “Even if there are risks, we understand what is at stake,” said Leon. “And we have to stand up for what’s right.”
            “We’re not abandoning you now,” said Marcel. “We’re your friends.”
            “And we’re your Four Horsemen,” said Noa.
            “We have the ability to fight, and we will,” said Leon.
            “Michael isn’t winning on our watch,” said Olive firmly.
            “We’ve got your back, (Y/N),” said Marcel. “You’ve never had to worry about that.”
            (Y/N) found themself smiling despite all the fears and worries circling in their head. “I’m glad I have you guys.”
            Marcel put his hand out. “We’re in this together.”
            “Together,” seconded Olive, putting her hand on top of his.
            “Together.” Leon added their hand.
            “Together,” said Noa, placing their hand in the pile.
            “Together,” said Em, adding her hand.
            (Y/N) smiled. “Together.”
            As soon as their hand touched all the rest, the shadows coiled up and around them. The Four Horsemen felt the magic that had stirred within them rise to the surface once more. Em felt their demon face shift beneath the surface of their human one.
            They were ready.
l
            “So?” said Lucifer as (Y/N) walked up to him.
            They nodded. “They’re fighting with us.”
            Lucifer sighed. “I’m proud of how brave you’ve grown, but I’m exhausted with how headstrong you are.”
            “You know I can’t sit this out,” said (Y/N). “I can’t.”
            “I know.” Lucifer looked at them. “I just—I don’t want you hurt. I love you too much for that.” He hugged them. “I can’t lose you. I can’t, (Y/N).”
            (Y/N) hugged him back. “I know, Dad. I love you, too.” And I can’t lose you either. I’ll do whatever it takes to stop that from happening.
l
            Lucifer, Chloe, (Y/N), Em, and the Four Horsemen walked towards the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The sun hung in the sky over them, and the air felt tense with the knowledge that a world-changing event was about to take place—today, a new God would come into power.
            “You ready, Birdie?” said Em, touching (Y/N)’s hand.
            They linked their pinkie finger with hers. “I’m with my family. I can face anything.”
            Em smiled at (Y/N), lifted their hand, and kissed the back.
            “Are all angels drama queens?” said Noa. “A helluva place to hold the vote.”
            “Michael is definitely one for dramatics,” said Lucifer.
            “I think it runs in the family,” said (Y/N).
            Olive smiled. “Knowing you, yeah.”
            “I can’t believe you’re letting them come,” said Chloe to Lucifer.
            “He didn’t really let us. He’s just not our boss,” said Marcel.
            “(Y/N) is,” added Leon.
            “I’m not anyone’s boss,” said (Y/N).
            “Antichrist meet Four Horsemen,” said Em brightly.
            Lucifer gestured to the teenagers while looking exasperatedly at Chloe. “See what I deal with?”
            “I’m not looking forward to Trixie’s teenage years,” she said. That being said, she was impressed with the bravery the teenagers showed in facing Michael.
            Flap! Amenadiel appeared.
            “Where’s Maze?” asked Lucifer. “And our reinforcements?”
            “Well, it’s taking a bit longer than expected,” said Amenadiel.
            Lucifer groaned. “Right. Well, we’ll just have to stall.”
            “Luckily we’re good at talking,” said (Y/N) cheerfully.
            “Let’s go,” said Lucifer, squaring his shoulders.
            He stepped down into the light of the coliseum. The seats on either side of him, he walked down like it was a runway. (Y/N) followed, and the rest of the group trailed after them. (Y/N) didn’t cower at the sight of the dozens of angels gazing at them. They all wore their heavenly robes, a stark contrast to the human clothing donned by (Y/N)’s group.
            (Y/N) raised their chin as the eyes of the angels landed on them. Their friends remained strong as well, not bowing at all at the sight of the Celestials.
            “This really is a family affair, isn’t it?” remarked Lucifer, putting on his trademark charisma as they walked forward.
            “You actually showed up,” said Michael. “Look at that.” He wore black and some strange shoulder armor, an obvious effort to seem tougher despite the nasty scar across his face—evidence that a teenager beat him in a fight. “You ready to bend the knee, brother?”
            “Even if he was, I’m not,” said (Y/N), crossing their arms. “And my friends aren’t, either.” They glanced back. “Right?”
            The Four Horsemen grinned widely. “Right!”
            “As if you have any choice here,” scoffed Michael.
            “Actually, since I’m a Celestial, I get a vote,” said (Y/N). “And my dear friends here, the Four Horsemen—” a few murmurs went up nervously “—get votes too.” (Y/N)’s friends waved.
            “Fine,” said Michael, rolling his eyes. “It doesn’t mean anything anyway. You don’t have enough votes.” He looked at the gathered group. “Why do you have to fight the inevitable?”
            “It’s the only way we know how to fight,” said Lucifer coolly. “And I demand a vote.”
            “Seriously?” Michael laughed derisively. “Even if it’s obvious?”
            “Yes,” said Lucifer.
            “Alright, fine.” Michael decided to humor Lucifer. “Fine! Who here is not voting for me?” He looked around, and several angels looked at the ground guiltily. (Y/N) narrowed their eyes, and a few angels they’d seen before glanced at once another. “I said, is anyone here not voting for me?”
            “What a speech,” said (Y/N) sarcastically. They were stalling and hoping to turn some of the angels Lucifer had spoken with to their side. “Let me guess, you’ve made it clear the consequences of not voting for you?” They sighed performatively. “Using fear for power. You’re so unoriginal.”
            “As if an ex-human has any idea what they’re speaking of,” said Michael condescendingly.
            Want to bet? (Y/N) resisted saying that aloud and instead just raised their chin. They looked at the angels and glanced at Lucifer.
            He gestured forward. “Go ahead.” He knew they were dying for a chance to show up Michael.
            “Okay, people,” said (Y/N), clapping their hands together. “You’re angels, right? All about truth and justice and all of that nonsense that you fail to uphold anyways.” The angels scowled and whispered. “So let’s deal in some real truths. You don’t want Lucifer at God. Sure, fine, whatever.” They shrugged. “But you also don’t want Michael. And I know why. It’s because you’re afraid of him. He only knows how to deal in fear. I mean, he even put together the Flaming Sword for what was supposed to be a democratic election. Because he only knows fear and he only knows threats. And what type of God would someone like that make?”
            The angels shifted, and Lucifer smirked proudly at (Y/N)’s ability to really cut to the point and cut someone down to size.
            “My Dad isn’t going to rule through fear,” said (Y/N). “I mean, I’m not big on the God thing anyways and this whole issue, but I trust Lucifer. He’s taken care of me for over almost six years. He loves Earth and helps people. He tells the truth. He makes mistakes and learns from them. He accepts other people’s perspectives. That would make him a better God than Michael.” They looked out at the group. “From what I’ve heard, everything else I have to say has been passed around you guys, so I’m done. Try to think for once.”
            What an end… thought (Y/N)’s friends after they ended with an insult. At least they never compromised who they were.
            “(Y/N) is right,” said Lucifer. “I want for their to be truth here, not threats.” He took a deep breath, smiled at (Y/N), and looked back at the Celestials. “I’m going to tell you the real reason I want to be God. I—”
            “I know why Lucifer wants the throne.” Zadkiel spoke, and his voice made everyone turned in surprise. “He told me. And it’s for love, of all things.” He chuckled, and the angels laughed. “I never thought I’d hear it. Love.” He stepped forward. “The best reason one could have.” He walked past Michael and to Lucifer and (Y/N)’s side. “We need a God with love.”
            (Y/N) glanced in surprise at Zadkiel as he spoke the words they had to him barely a few days ago. “Vote for a God with love. That’s all I want. That’s what I’d do, if I was in charge.”
            “Who’s with us?” said Zadkiel.
            The angels glanced at one another. Hesitantly, Saraqael stepped forward. Another angel followed her. It wasn’t a large number—Michael still had most of the support—but (Y/N) could see most of the angels still next to Michael shifting nervously. Their assessment of “fear” had been correct.
            “Not a lot,” murmured Leon.
            “Worth it for the annoyance on Michael’s face,” said Olive with a smile.
            “Agreed,” said Marcel.
            “I think a few others are on the edge, too,” said Noa. “Too scared to move.”
            “I really don’t like Michael,” grumbled Em.
            “Hey, it looks like we’ll get a chance to hand his ass to him in a fight like we wanted,” said (Y/N).
            Zadkiel looked at Lucifer and Amenadiel in confusion, and poor Lucifer just sighed. He wished his father was still around to pray to that (Y/N) wouldn’t rush into a fight.
            “Well, looks like we have the numbers,” said Michael, putting another self-important smile on his face. “Consider the vote complete and me…” He grinned and through his hands up into the air. “God!” He proclaimed the word and looked in the sky as if some sort of lightning strike was supposed to show his power.
            Nothing. (Y/N) smirked and snickered with their friends. (Listen, teenagers had too much fun laughing at stupidity to stop now).
            “God!” repeated Michael.
            Still nothing. (Y/N) and their friends had to smother their giggles.
            “Oh, come on!” exclaimed Michael. “I thought there’d be a little some-some, a flash of lightning, maybe, unless…”
            I called it, thought (Y/N).
            “I-I thought Dad said we were choosing,” said Michael.
            “Technically, he said, ‘you’ll figure it out,’ but you weren’t really there to say ‘bye,’ were you?” said (Y/N), pouting before rolling their eyes.
            “(Y/N),” said Chloe, trying to get them to be quiet.
            “Maybe it has to be unanimous,” wondered Gabriel.
            “Right. Right.” Michael chuckled lowly and looked at his opponents. “Well, if it has to be unanimous, there’s only one way to make that happen. Get rid of all opposing votes.”
            “So he’s justifying killing family just like that?” said Noa. “Yikes.”
 ��          “We really can’t let him win,” said Marcel.
            “I don’t want such a God,” said Leon.
            “Not at all,” said Olive.
            “Where is Maze?” grumbled Em, looking around.
            “Any minute now, I’m sure of it,” said Amenadiel.
            “What are we gonna do?” said Chloe.
            “Lucifer!” A sudden shout cut across the field. All heads went to the side of the coliseum where Maze stood.
            She wore an outfit of red, a true Queen of Hell. Eve stood next to her—(Y/N) wasn’t displeased to see her for once—and a group of possessed humans (demons) were with them. Maze shouted orders in Lilim, the demonic language, and the sound reverberated around the coliseum. She led her troops up behind (Y/N) and Lucifer, evening the numbers out.
            “Very cute,” sneered Michael. “A little demon army. But you still don’t stand a chance.” Around him, a few angels floated into the air. Michael grinned at Lucifer. “You might want to ask the little kiddies and your girlfriend to leave, or they’re gonna get hurt.”
            “I was just gonna say the same thing to you.” Chloe pulled out her gun.
            Michael chuckled. “Your bullets can’t hurt me.”
            Bang! Bang!
            Chloe shot the winds of the two flying angels. They both cried out and fell. The angels gasped.
            “Turns out melting down one demon blade makes a lot of bullets,” said Chloe.
            “So, you see, brother, we’re more evenly matched than you anticipated,” said Lucifer. “Now, I know you want to avoid bloodshed amongst our siblings, as do I. So why don’t we just, shed each other’s?”
            “What, mano-a-mano?” said Michael. “Or ala-a-ala? That means wing-to-wing in Latin—”
            “Got it, yes, thank you,” said Lucifer, rolling his eyes.
            “Dad,” said (Y/N) warily. They didn’t trust Michael.
            “I win, Godhood is mine,” said Lucifer. (Y/N) didn’t like the idea at all. “You win, you have my full support, and I’ll crawl back to Hell like a good little Devil.”
            “Dad,” hissed (Y/N), and Lucifer glanced at them as if to say “I can do this.”
            “When I win, you won’t be crawling anywhere,” said Michael. He withdrew a familiar sword. Azrael’s blade. “This is to do the death.”
            “So be it,” said Lucifer.
            “No,” said (Y/N).
            Michael sneered at them as he lit the sword, and the flames of the morning sun flew up around it. “Oh, yes.”
            “You’ll never have my vote,” said (Y/N). “No matter what you do.”
            “Then I suppose I’ll have to make certain you can’t vote—”
            Wham!
            Lucifer punched Michael the moment he threatened his child.
Taglist:
@sammyscreencaps-13
@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy
@scarlettqueen190
@ziro-the-null-god
@sammy-13
@zeros-rot
@ceridwyn3
@technikerin23
@poetoflawed
@slytherinroyalty16
@ilse235
@theurbannoodle
@lookitseddie
@amberforest08
@snowy-violet
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all-seems-no-well · 2 months ago
Text
"Testing...Hello? Can you hear me?..."
------------
-Hello. AHEM... Regarding the past events of "Kalloway Kindergarten" , We have decided to hear from the victims 20 years later to get a better insight on what really happened. The following paragraphs will be from our latest interviews with each, separate person. - These will be repeated from what our subjects had said to the interviewers. - Sadly, some people hadn't come to the interview. So please bear with us on this unfortunate mishap. Thank you for listening, Thank you for your patience, and thank you for coming.
------------
-Subject no. 1 (???)
"Subject number one was unable to make it today.
-Subject no. 2 (Lilith (Lily) Prescott.)
"Slow and painful it was. At least, that's how it felt for me. But I can't imagine the more brutal things my brother had to go through. He was missing for a while, and...Nobody knew where he went. Until that very day, I and...someone else, had found him...... Under the school. The principal was doing experiments on him. It was all so... horrific. Too horrific for a child to see... If I could go back in time and give my younger self a hug, I wouldn't think twice. As for my brother, I would've done the same, even at the time. I wish In that moment I could've told him how much I loved him, how much he meant to me... But now I can't..."
-Subject no. 3 (???)
"Subject number three was unable to make it today."
-Subject no. 4 (Jerome Kennedy.)
"Hearing about the awful stuff my dad did after he died, broke me as a kid. If I had known what he was doing before, I would've told someone before it got so bad... Sometimes I still blame myself for everything that happened. I know I shouldn't, but he was MY dad. I can't get over it."
-Subject no. 5 (Buggs V. Mallory.)
"Shit sucked. Those other kids were awful to me. And yeahhh, I may or may not have been awful to them back. But YOU would be a dick too if YOU were constantly bullied! Oh, right...that... Well, I wasn't really a part of the whole thing. All I know is one day our principal died, and then another day our other principal died. A lot of principals died that week, man. So uh. I don't know.
-Subject no. 6 (Cynthia (Cindy) Louelle.)
"Okay, well. Kindergarten was kinda blehh... y'know? I met some decent people there, I guess. But I also met the most rudest girl in the world! Ugh... But yeah, like, I didn't really care about the whole "principal experimenting on us" jig. It was kinda just stupid... and annoying.... And I honestly don't even recall half of the teachers there, sooo...."
-Subject no. 7 (Monty Hyde.)
"I lost a lot at that damn school. I mean seriously, they didn't think to fire the janitor after day two?! I lost my legs because of him! And now I've just been stuck with these unflattering girl legs. But y'know what? Kindergarten was pretty fun at times. Cause' I was a little shit, and all the teachers knew it. I was even smarter than the science teacher, which says a lot about how smart I am now as an adult! ....are you recording this? Yeah? Good. YOU HEAR THAT DR. DANNER?! I'M BETTER NOW. IM A SUCCESSFUL MILLIONAIRE, AND WHERE ARE YOU? PROBABLY IN A RETIREMENT HOME...... Uh- Thank you for having me here..."
-Subject no. 8 (Felix K. Huxley.)
"I say... Kindergarten was certainly quite the experience. Younger me would've said it was horrible, but now that I've matured I see just how dramatic I was being. Though, there were some things I did that....I'm not quite proud of.... But! That aside, the experience looking back at it was quite swell. If not for that place, I wouldn't have met my lovely Cynthia...or what's his face- uh- Monty!... He's helped me a lot with my business, and I tip my metaphorical and imaginary hat to him."
-Subject no 9. (Theodore (Ted) K. Huxley)
"I believe they should've had much better funding, and staff. Because that place was just...awful. The teachers obviously despised their jobs, and the bathrooms... Oh the bathrooms were foul...! And even thinking about Kindergarten brings back horrible memories of what my brothe- actually nevermind... But anyway, thinking about the pain and suffering those poor students before me must've gone through...it makes me sick to my stomach. They could've done so much better for the students and the school itself."
-Subject no. 10 (???)
"Subject number ten was unable to make it today."
-Subject no. 11 (???)
"Subject number eleven was also unable to make it today."
-Subject no. 12 (Ozzy Harrison.)
"I don't have any good memories of that place. Not one. I'm sorry, but I don't even wanna talk about it anymore..."
-Subject no. 13 (Madison Bonneau.)
"It was like one second I was at recess, and then another I was in some sci-fi looking lab! But me and my friends got saved by some randos, so all was well after that I think! But in all seriousness, that mean lady got what she deserved. I'm glad nobody has to put up with her ever again... oh, oh! And also there was a girl there when it happened...and her head freakin' exploded!! I couldn't sleep for days because of the sight!"
-Subject no. 14 (Alison (Alice) M. Claire.)
"I heard Madi from the other room... I am incredibly sorry about her... excitement? She's never been interviewed before, and quite frankly, neither have i- o-oh, yes...my apologies... The whole situation had really put a negative toll on my well-being. I was scared to go back to school, I had a hard time trusting people, and I was overall terrified of everyone and everything around me. It felt like a bunch of eyes had been laid upon my person, and hands were out to hurt me at any moment. I and my friends were kidnapped by the other school's principal, and to say it was traumatizing would be an understatement..."
-Subject no. 15 (Ronaldo (Ron) Duncan.)
"hey do you have any cheese? No? Okay.. Well anyway. What I remember is like.. kinda crazy. So bear with me. I was just on the playground, swinging on the swings, okay? And then suddenly IM KNOCKED OUT, LIKE BLAM! And then, I woke up in some bunker with a bunch of sciencey stuff in it. And I'm like floating around in this giant tube thingy, right? And then these kids come into the bunker and they're like "well save you!!" And then the evil principle lady turns me into a monster and I'm all like "blehghh" and my friends are also like "blehghh." BUT THEN the principal lady also turns into a giant, ugly monster!! And then the kids kill her like superheroes. True story."
-Subject no 16 and 18 (???)
"These two subjects were unable to come in today due to their own plans together."
-Subject no. 17 (Austin Scarrow)
"I don't actually CARE about the stuff that happened in kindergarten! That stuff was a long time ago, and it doesn't matter to me anymore..."
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"By listening to our subject's stories, We hope you know how much this means to them, finally being able to speak up about their own experiences from the tragedy. These people are powerful, and strong, and we wish nothing but the best for them."
------
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"...Jesus...these kids are gonna make me a killing. I've got to get in contact with those other subjects... If I don't, this whole jig is gonna go out of business..."
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Text
This is a personal post about boarding school experience and its later effects in life. It will be under keep reading so anyone can scroll over it if they don't want to read it. It's mostly for me and the need to express the thoughts I've been having and I need an outlet for that.
I've been reading once again about boarding school syndrome all day since this morning. I don't know why I do this to myself. Why I feel the need to go back to all that as if to check if all the damage is still there. Or like a way to pity myself and then to hate it for feeling sorry for myself once again. It's a cycle. I must have remembered something last night before falling asleep because I found myself today at 10 am reading a research paper on it and then looking up testimonials in reddit.
But the thing is, most of the research is done on English boarding schools and as much as the overall experience is similar, there are so many nuances in the differences that exist.
I vividly remember looking out the window and watching my parents get in the car and leave. It was Sunday evening and they had the car parked on a smaller street in downtown where I was left to stay. The next day was the first day of school and I was 11, starting 5th grade.
I read that in cases of children going to boarding school, a lot of them remember in detail the moment the separation took place. And it's true even if it's been almost 20 years since then. That's when my stomach issues began. Of course the cause was emotional stress, but that didn't stop from going to medical clinics weekly to do full check ups when any adult should have realized that I was just homesick. The year after, I began to feel nausea each Monday morning. I used to beg my parents to postpone my return as much as possible so I would only leave home on Monday and arrive an hour before classes would start. For five years I went to school in the afternoon. The nausea became a constant. I would complain on that day, hoping my mother would tell me that I don't have to go to school. But I couldn't understand at that time that my mother was emotionally unavailable and had no idea how to deal with her daughter's real needs.
But I kept going and as years went by, I got used to it and it felt easier by the time I finished high school. When I was already in college, I had forgotten half of my experience and I would gloss over what happened. I would act proud of how fast I had become independent, without needing any help, as if that was a good thing.
Of course that at some point I slowly started to realize that not everything went that well, but either way, that perhaps it was worth the sacrifice if I manage to do something well professionally. Eight years of boarding school meant sacrifices and financial investment. For me to go to the most prestigious middle school (I had to take an English exam for 5th grade, that was unheard of at that time in any other school!), then to the most prestigious high school to receive the best grades which would help to get into the most prestigious university so I can study exactly what I want because by then I found my passion. And I was encouraged. So I worked for it for more than a decade because all the pain had to have been worth it. Yes, parts of life sucks, but perhaps a uni position while I teach and research would compensate for it. But it never did and that entire plan fell to pieces because life doesn't work how I wanted to.
So was all that worth it in the end? Absolutely not.
For years I would think and say that I never suffered bullying in school because my colleagues were nice and for the most part, I had nice experiences. And that's still true. While at the same time forgetting that I also had that other life in boarding school where 17-18 year girls found abuse a form of entertainment.
Bullying is such a common occurence but it gets worse in boarding school because you can't get to any space that feels safe. You can't get home to your own room and to your own parents who might notice something and intervene. In boarding school you have to sleep in the same room and next to the same bed as your abusers. You take showers next to them, hoping that nothing happens. It's living in constant fear.
All my emotional mechanisms have developed during those years, especially between the ages of 11-13. I quickly learned to avoid any type of conflict because that would mess up whatever aparent peace that existed from time to time. I learned that speaking up and telling the adults responsible meant that I was in more danger.
As adults, those who went through the boarding school experience have trouble maintaining relationships. We become self sufficient because we had to. There was no help so we learned to take care of ourselves. Consequently, we don't need other people, especially if we know they will eventually abandon us. Of course attempts are made because it's in our nature. I've lost friendships because rather than making myself heard and to be an active participant in a relationship, I distanced myself. It's easier than to speak because there's a risk that the other person would certainly decide to break the friendship. Avoid conflict at all costs, even it rots everything from the inside. I'm still actively doing this.
When I told my therapist about these experiences (which I don't think I'll talk about in detail here), she used the word trauma. To this day, I have a hard time accepting it. Because deep down I still don't believe that my experience was that bad to be labeled that way. It's not real trauma if nothing really actually "bad" happens.
It's only bad enough that it infiltrated and influenced all aspects of my entire life. From personal relationships to professional. The latter I used to think it was independent and untouchable of all the things I had going on personally. But of course to realize as an adult that the need for perfection, the impostor syndrome, all are a result of never feeling good enough which stems from the initial abandonment.
I find it hard to accept that some decisions taken 20 years ago without me having any real say in it (I was asked and I said yes because my parents know best) and the consequent experiences that I had to go through have negatively influenced my entire life. For many years I never looked at aspects of my life, thinking that something is not well and should be investigated. I was busy in my 20s with other thoughts without realizing the root cause of why I was doing some things. But by the time that decade was over, it's like everything is crashing down. Piece by piece. Every single aspect of my life had been fucked by that thing my therapist calls trauma.
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wineauntharry · 2 years ago
Note
There’s a lot of “cocky guy Joe spoils his gf” type content to the point that I’d love to read the opposite spin on it, rich and successful badass Y/N spoiling Joe. IDK just a thought. Love your writing!
First thank you for the compliment, let's kiss. I like this i think its cute and i had fun writing it. i hope you like it!!!
would yall jump me if i said i was listening to question by chris brown when i was writing this? be fr its okay if you say yes
Anywaysssss enjoy MUAH!
Spoiled Rotten// j.b.
Joe and I had been together since he came to LSU. We grew into adults together. I stuck by him through the beginning of his professional football career. I can’t deny that Joe helped me make it through law school. We were such a strong team and so lucky to have eachother.
Now that we were more stable and in our “grown up” jobs, We could do whatever we wanted when Joe was in his off season. Words can’t explain how proud I am of Joe, but I can’t say I’m surprised with how far he’s come, he’s alway had it in him.
My love language has always been gift giving, and now that I had the means to do so, I can’t stop spoiling Joe. I bought him those infamous Cartier glasses when him and the team beat Clemson in the national championship. 
When he was drafted, I bought us and a few of our closest friends box seats for a Cincinatti Reds game. He is always so grateful, so it's easy to spoil him.
I can’t say that Joe doesn’t spoil me in the same way. For my law school graduation gift, Joe took me to Italy to visit Rome, Venice, and Naples. Whenever he was on the road for long periods of time, he would never let me feel forgotten. I would wake up to dozens of roses at my door or huge fruit arangements. He was always so good to me.
Joe’s birthday was coming up and I might be more excited than him. I might have overdone it with all of his gifts but I just couldn’t help myself, not to mention the club I rented out for a surprise birthday party.
-
It was finally the morning of Joe’s birthday. It was still early and Joe was fast asleep, so I slipped out of bed and into the kitchen to start on some breakfast. I had just finished up his turkey bacon and french toast when he came creeping into the kitchen sleepy as ever.
“Happy birthday my sweet boy.” Being sure to keep my voice low since he was still waking up.
“Thank you baby” He replied with a quiet, raspy voice. All while making his way over to me.
He snaked his hands around my waist and pressed a light kiss to my lips.
“Are you excited for today?” I asked.
“I am because I get to spend it with you.” He responded with that same warm smile he always gives me in the mornings.
I smiled back and said “Well eat up babe, there’s a fun day ahead of you. Meet me in the shower when you’re done, yeah?” He perked up after that and just replied with a smirk. Gotta start the day right of course.
-
We had made our way to all of his favorite stores, Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and many others. Of course we stopped at Nike. Baby had money but he kept it humble, plus, it was all on my dime anyway.
The entire day Joe had peppered me with kisses and a constant stream of thank you’s. Once we had finished lunch we made our way back home to relax before his party that he knew nothing of later in the night.
Once the time came to get ready, I chose Joe’s favorite dress to wear. It was always fun to have him a little flustered in public, and if anyone could do it to him it was me, but that’s besides the point. Joe had chosen an all black outfit with new Nike dunks we had got earlier in the day. 
“You're the prettiest girl in the world. You know that right Y/N?” He said while smiling and putting on his favorite Cartier watch.
“Thank you baby. No funny business just yet though Joe, don’t fuck up my hair, it’s too early for that.” I let out with a little giggle.
“Oh whatever.” He replied
“Is that a sassy birthday boy I hear?” I responded. He just laughed in response. Before we could continue our cute little banter, I got the notification that our Uber was here.
“ Come on J, the Uber is here.” I told him
I grabbed my purse and made my way out our front door. Joe followed closely behind, making sure to slap my ass before he opened the door for me, always being a gentleman I guess.
We were dropped off at the club entrance and we’re let right in by security.
Joe began to question how easy it was to enter when he was cut off by his friends and family screaming “Surprise!”
The room was flooded with balloons and drinks. Future was playing over the loudspeakers and Joe was ecstatic.
“Baby you did this?” He said in awe of what he just walked into.
As the night went on and Joe had gotten drunker, he kept telling me how grateful he was for everything that happened today.
“Y/N you spoiled the fuck out of me today, thank you so much baby. Heaven sent you straight to me, I’m sure of it” He yelled to me over the loud music.
“Anything for my birthday boy, you deserve the world Joe. I just wanna make sure I give it to you.” I responded. Joe’s cheeks turned a light shade of red and I could tell he was truly happy with the life he was living.
We continued dancing and enjoying our night when Joe said “You gonna take up my offer of ruining your hair when we get home later? Can’t say no to the birthday boy, it’s the rules.”
“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” I said back.
Joe just let out the deep laugh he always does when he’s drunk. After our little “conversation”, if you can call it that, we went back to dancing with all of our friends, knowing what's gonna happen when we got home.
—-----
YALLLLLLLL not me getting all hot and bothered at the end whew. I’m supposed to be sleeping but this popped into my head after I read the request and I just ran with it!
You guys are making me so emotional over the love my other writings are getting. I could cry, this is insane. I can’t thank you enough!!!! :’)
Request here!
all the love- kitt
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hotdogstandz · 5 months ago
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hello !!
so I find your lusttale very interesting and cool and ,,, i'm bad at words but there should be a word that includes everything amazing ever
it's just like,,,I'm a young queer person and i'm so scared to go out into the world and really be me? and seeing you, basically my favorite artist, make/rewriting an au centered around living through that fear is so beautiful to me, I hope that one day i can find a community and live through the horrible things that society puts on our shoulders. and it's also like...I live in a 'supportive household' but my internalized transphobia is annoying and it also gives me hope that like i'll grow and change and be happy and stuffs
so urm i made u fanart :-)
Tumblr media
I hope you have an amazing day/night! and week and year and everything!
sorry for ranting!
AHH!!! FIRST OF ALL I AM OBSESSEDDDDDD WITH THE FANART OF MY BABBYYYYY thank you so so so much <3333 I love love love the colors
Secondly…..
As an queer adult, it makes me infinitely happy to hear that you find solace and comfort in my silly little characters. I myself struggled with a lot of internalized self doubt over my identity as well when I was younger, so it means THE WORLD to me that I can be a voice to you select few queer utmv babies who need a little encouragement. I am a big believer in gender identity being a big explosion of self love and creativity, as well as it being forever moldable and flexible. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to go about being queer. Your experience is just as beautiful and amazing as every other queer person’s is. You will always have the burden of uncertainty, the feeling of being “other”, and the societal pressures, but I can assure you with my entire heart that you are NOT alone. You are never alone. You have only begun the journey, there is only possibility in front of you. And so so so many people who will love and celebrate your queerness that you have yet to meet.
But for now, I can say that I see you. And I’m really proud of you, proud of everything you’ve gone through to get to today. Being queer is not a death sentence, it is a gift. I hope you never forget that.
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yuurivoice · 1 year ago
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How have you been? Are you taking care of yourself and is the kitties doing okay and Haru how is the sweetie after the surgery?
Throughout the month of October while doubling my content output and going from being creatively idle to full speed ahead, I was going through the onboarding process of my ADHD medication. Half of the month was spent getting horribly tired in the afternoons. The other half was spent feeling gross as I tried to figure out how much I needed to eat with my food and adjusting to the final dosage.
Last week, for what may be the first time in my adult life, I was operating at what I can only assume was somewhere near 100% of what a neurotypical person feels like. I've cried about it, had to learn how to slow down because I'm used to the vehicle that is my brain not actually GOING when I put my foot on the gas, and have felt downright incredible.
I wrote my psychiatrist a message thanking her for being such a professional and helping me on this path, because I am approaching what I had assumed "best case scenario" would look like for me. I don't even know what's possible for me as I settle into my new normal. It's overwhelming in a positive way.
I feel like I have super powers. I'm able to just...do stuff. I begin my day and I just go. I'm fed, medicated, and ready to start being productive at 9am and I begin. I'm able to accomplish far more than the bare minimum and even have to tell myself to take time to do things that aren't strictly work.
I love writing again, and I was robbed of that nearly a decade ago. My beloved hobby became work, and while I've written things that I adore, I only rarely feel the magic I used to feel when I could write ~10k words in a day. INDEFINITELY!!!! I have written hundreds of thousands of words in my lifetime and I lost the ability to do what I loved. At a time in my life when I was desperate to find something that was meant for me, something I was good at, I lost it.
I thought I had simply fallen out of love. I thought my childish ambitions of being a writer were bled from me on the path to being a "real adult" and life had escorted me along the way, away from that passion.
I didn't know I was fighting against myself so much for so long. Being able to become YuuriVoice and create and find that outlet again was amazing for me and reminded me of what it used to feel like, but this whole time I've had to brute force my way through mental hurdles. I am proud of what I've accomplished to this point, knowing what challenges I've faced and battled along the way.
How do I feel? I feel like the me from a decade ago and the me of today bridged a rift so vast that I thought I'd never say hello to that part of me again, and now I'm whole. I feel whole. I'm no longer masquerading around as a cheap imitation of who I could have been.
So yeah, I'd say I'm doing well! So are the cats. Haru handled his neutering perfectly and is a happy, healthy boy. Aside from that, I've been consistently in the gym, trying to stick to my diet goals, and am the happiest, healthiest version of myself I've been in a long time!
If you've enjoyed the recent entries in Lost & Found, they've all be made while I've been feeling this good. So if that's a sign of things to come, I think we're about to remind people just how fuckin' hard we can go around these parts.
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memoriapraeteritorumbonorum · 8 months ago
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Letters to Maitimo - II
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People always claim they could never imagine themselves in your shoes. 
That your life and your responsibilities would overwhelm them and they would not even last a day as your substitute. 
I used to believe them. I used to think I could never measure up to the things you do — I could never stay afloat like you. I used to think I would sink and succumb to the unbearable weight of your duties. 
How unjust is it for us eldest children to bear the burden of responsibility, the sole reason being the time of our birth?
What makes us so different from our younger siblings? 
What made our parents think they could take away the most precious thing — our childhood — and replace it with the worrisome truths of adult life? 
Lately, my life has been swamped with these feelings, these seemingly unfulfillable duties. And Eru, I wish I could just disappear. I wish I could melt away into a loved one’s embrace and not think about the future, or how everyone will depend on me if anything bad ever happens. 
And yet, it is my deepest, darkest desire to be taken care of. To not be taken for granted. To be treated as though I was one of my younger siblings and not the eldest for once. 
And it embarrasses me so. This desire, this childish urge of mine to be swaddled and caressed. To be told how proud one is of me, after I have spent my entire life proving to myself that I do not need anyone to lean on. But that never happens. And so I continuously wander this never-ending circle of yearning and accepting the loneliness that will never fade — the soles of my feet are blistered. 
I see you and I see each and every little sting it took to forge you into the person you are today: honorable, wise, reliable. Even-tempered, diplomatic, just. 
Maitimo, my copper headed dear one, I just want you to know you can rely on me. You can let it all go if you want to, because I am here and I understand. Every eldest sibling is, that is what I wholeheartedly believe. 
We may not have our families to lean on, but we have each other. We are interchangeable, we are aware of the attributes it takes to be the eldest because we had no choice in the matter. 
And I assure you, we would last significantly longer than just a mere day if we were to be put in your shoes.
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dreaming-about-seireitei · 9 months ago
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But what about shoes??
So last night I couldn't sleep because I kept asking myself about what kind of footwear would the Bleach characters wear, adapted to today's fashion. I came up with this hc for some of them and I just needed to post it. (Be aware, I know almost nothing about fashion or fashion brands, so if you feel like that's not right just know I did my best)
Renji
- I honestly think Renji would definitely be the kind of guy who would wear these Nikes, the W Dunk High, obviously in red.
- I also believe he would be secretely proud of them, and would clean them every time before going out of the house (even if they'd get dirty in a fight immediately).
-He would probably have at least one more pair that looks the same, maybe with just a little detail difference, in case these ones get broken in a fight.
- I think he buys them alone so people don't see how happy he gets when he finally has them in the bag
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Ichigo
- Our main boy would probably wear these Pumas (that I can't remember the full name of)
- They kinda go with his bankai, but it's mostly just a coincidence
- He actually bought them because he needed a new pair, and it was the first pair that caught his eye
- I feel like fashion would not be his priority, he would prefer longevity over anything else and feeling comfy
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Orihime
- I am 100% sure she would own at least two of these colorful Converse that she embroidered or decorated herself
- She is the cute and unique type that would wear these anywhere and with anything (even if they don't match)
-They are comfy, but also cute and that's mostly what counts for her, as she buys them for the main bold colors and decorates them however she feels like on the spot
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Toshiro
- In my mind, I see him wearing these Reeboks he would look so good in them and he wouldn't even try oh god
- I feel like when buying them, he'd probably look at the sole of the footwear first to ensure it can hold his fighting as well as his shunpo before anything else
- They match his hair and eyes and add a plus to his otherwise kind of plain outfits (he doesn't see it, but he likes the look anyway)
- I see the brand itself mostly bought by adults who already have kids and are tired and take walks to free their mind; and we know he has the tastes of an elder person already and is tired from scolding Matsumoto all day and just wants something nice, nothing out of the ordinary
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Rukia
- My girl would totally wear the combat boots idc
- She will feel her feet more secure with them on and would like the adherence of the boots
- She also bought them because when she tried them on, she felt like people took her a bit more serious because she looks badass in them
- The black, simple style is what she likes in term of fashion because she can wear them with her dresses, as well as with her fighting gear
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Matsumoto
- If you think our fashionista will not wear some great platform sandals any time of the day, I regret to inform you, you are wrong.
- She would most definitely go through a pair every week because they're not very resistant, but that's fine because she has plenty of pairs.
- She buys them from specific stores that she likes in the World of the Living, at least two or three pairs at a time
- She mostly gets them in black, because it goes with everything, obviously, but she might also have a white and a brown pair for special occasions (like going shopping)
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Uryu
- These President boots (I think that's what they're called) would be all that's in his closet, multiple pairs, leather, suede, in black and brown, but just this type of shoes
- He would not only buy them because of the very good quality, true materials, but also because they look very serious and grown
- He would be careful with them and always have his laces neatly tied
- Would get mad at Ichigo for accidentally stepping on them
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This is mostly what I had in mind, let me know if you share the same opinion, if not, what would you change about it? Also, please someone let me know if this is a normal lenght for a post, I feel like it's too long.
Obviously I took all the photos from the internet and don't own any of them.
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