#i was rolling my eyes so hard at them in the last 2 eps

[kimhargreeves]

A Flashy Act part 2-Buggy x Reader (smut)

Summary: Buggy has decided to question you behind curtains in his private room, which leads you both to share an intimate moment together.

(A/N: The people have spoken and I delivered!! Enjoy this spicy Buggy smut for all you weird clown fuckers like myself. Special thanks to everyone who liked my post! I didn't expect it to become popular in just a day. Anyone enjoy cause this is nasty..or spicy however you want to look at it. A part 3 may be done once I finish the show since I'm on ep 3.)

(Tag list: @pookiesnatcher @alejandro0-0 @ghostlycrystobalove @lenu-i

"Luffy!"

"Don't worry, I got this!" Luffy shouted when Buggy had grabbed me and began to pull me away from the stage, where Luffy was now held. This fucking clown, I swear if he harms that boy. I frowned when the clown began to now pulling me away.

"Quit giving me such a hard time!"

"Hey! What do you think you're doing pulling me into this room-" I was immediately quiet when Buggy grabbed my shoulders dipped me a bit and he unexpectedly began to kiss me.

I started back at him surprised as he lifted me back up on my feet. The first thing I did was slap his across the face and I hid my face.

"I-I'm so sorry! What..why did you-"

Buggy began to chuckle to himself as he held onto the spot I had hit him. His lipstick was smeared around his lips, and it was a bit hard ti tell if I let a mark on his face.

"You're still annoying and hard to please. You haven't changed quite much, (Y/N). Now..Where is my map?!"

I furrowed my eyebrows and leaned closer to look at him. All of the sudden Buggy took a step back and froze.

"Buggy…sorry I don't know what you mean-"

"Ugh I knew it! That damn Shanks probably told you to forget about me. He always does things like this."

I crossed my arms over my chest and tilted my head. "Shanks you know him?! Wait…" I thought hard and suddenly remembered a certain memory of myself, Shanks and Buggy.

"Now I remember! You took a few punches once when-"

"When a guy threatened to toss you out into the sea." Buggy ended my sentence and sighed.

I started up at the clown and wondered how I had forgotten about him. "We used to hang out didn't we? The three of us."

"Yeah until I was left alone! Shanks returned one day without you, saying how he wanted you to have s nice and decent life, not a pirates one which I thought was bullshit."

"Language." I warn and smirked afterwards.

Buggy sighed and now looked at me up and down. "You really grew up, (Y/N)."

"Flashily I suppose?" I said giving a twirl and giving a wink. "But seriously, did you kidnap us just so you can have the map?"

"That map belongs to me! Not to some prepubescent boy who doesn't know what it's like to be a pirate. Why are you with him anyways?" He asked leaning his back onto the wall and crossing his arms.

"I made a promise to my brother, Shanks. That I would look after him."

"So you're a babysitter then? That's great." Buggy rolled his eyes as he said that and started to take his gloves off. "Really suits your character." He laughed.

I squinted my eyes at him and looked at him from head to know. "Never thought you would go with the whole creepy clown look. You look like you would eat children." I joke.

"I eat others things… I let the whole raw meat thing to my buddy you met back on stage."

Great. So not only are they all supposed to be freaks, but he has a cannibal among them. What else has he been up to for these last couple of years?

"Gross. How many times have you taken advantage of some poor girl..or boy."

"Don't be ridiculous. I would never take advantage of someone if they were against it. And those who accept?"

"Well, let's say we have a pretty good time." He grinned pulling himself back up straight and seeing me fake throwing up.

"Ew.. I did not need that image in my head."

"Don't tell me you're still a virgin! Someone like you? Traveling the sea?!"

I looked around at where he had taken me. Making sure to look well even if it was kinda dark, only a few candles here and there with a vanity mirror and a few makeup scattered around, a small bed with the same lights messily clinging above the room.

"Where's Luffy?"

"Now you're avoiding the question!"

"Just tell me where he is with his ginger girl and broccoli guy!" I said trying me my best to not seem nervous, but really wanting to know if they were safe.

"I'll gladly tell you, once you tell where my map is!" He shouted and seemed to quickly compose himself and curse under his breath.

Buggy dramatically sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Rubber boy is fine, he's entertaining my guests. Other two are with Cabaji."

My eyes looked back at the entrance and worried about the people being held hostage, I even spotted a poor dog with an older man, probably the owner saving the last thing he has, "What about the people?"

"What people?"

"The towns people, you idiot. You have to let them go." I said hoping he'd listen.

Buggy jumped up and began to laugh. "Sure! I'll do it right now, wanna help me?"

I frowned looking at him and was thinking if there's some way I can somehow release some of them. I really need Luffy's help…I decided to be straight and harsh with him.

"No matter how many people you hold captive. You'll never make people love you."

I felt a bit intimidated by his stare when Buggy took steps closer to me and cornered me against the vanity mirror. I looked to the side and felt his stare on me.

"Don't think you'll get a pass out of this, sweetheart. You're doing this so I can let your little friends go." Buggy lowly spoke as he took his ungloved hands and wrapped one around my neck.

"You seriously think that I would take advantage of you?" I question looking back up at him and saw a cold stare on his face.

"I think you're the one wanting to take advantage of me. You want to know where the map is. Well, I won't tell you, because I don't know. Thanks to your bombs I collapsed before I got the chance to see where or who got it."

"And why should I trust you? We don't know each other well." He sang being sarcastic as ever.

"You like playing games don't you? Maybe I can show you that I am telling the truth." I said and smiled.

Buggy frowned and gave me a harsh stare. I reached my hand down to his pants beginning to unbutton the first few buttons. His breathing hitched and I could feel him freeze when I touched him.

"It's been years since I saw you. We were kids..I'm sorry I forgot about you. Shanks only wanted what was best for me-"

Buggy instantly grabbed my wrists making me stop and look back at him when with his other hand he grabbed my face.

"Shanks being selfish as ever. Did he ever wonder what was best for me? He's taken everything from me, and now I have you back." He grinned and now grabbed the back of my head.

He placed his hand under my chin and I could see his blue pupils darken. I closed my eyes when Buggy leaned down to kiss me again. I felt him move my hair aside and leaving quick kisses down my neck and collarbone.

I gripped onto his shirt tight and began to kiss his lips again, ignoring how I would end up stained in his makeup. Quickly it began to deepen with me slipping out a moan when I felt his hands on my stomach and felt his pants getting tighter.

I moaned into the kiss when I felt him begin to get rid of my upper half clothes and began to palm my chest. Buggy's kisses began to lower until he reached down my breasts while his other hand played with my other one. While he was busy I started to reach my hand down to his pants beginning to unbutton the first few buttons. His breathing hitched and I could feel him freeze when I touched him.

"It's been years since I saw you. We were kids..I'm sorry I forgot about you. Shanks only wanted what was best for me-"

Buggy instantly grabbed my wrists making me stop and look back at him when with his other hand he grabbed my face.

"Shanks was being selfish as ever. Did he ever wonder what was best for me? He's taken everything from me, and now I have you back." He grinned and now grabbed the back of my head.

He smiled as he placed his hand under my chin and I could see his blue pupils darken. I shivered when I felt his hands beginning to move lower into my pants, until his fingers started to tease my nub.

My breathing hitched and a moaned almost escaped from my mouth, quickly I covered my mouth which made it seem like it was irritating Buggy. With my mouth still covered I saw him beginning to lower himself down on his knees. Quickly he got rid of my pants quick and slowly pulled down my underwear.

I've never been this exposed to someone. I began to cover myself but Buggy held my hands back and he began to leave a few bits down along my thighs until I saw him begin to part my legs. I leaned my back against the vanity mirror making all the things that were on it fall to the ground.

"You are so beautiful, (Y/N)." I heard Buggy say when he saw me naked before him.

Buggy began to lick his smudged lips and I gasped when he grabbed my thigh and placed it on his shoulder. I threw my head back when I saw stick his tongue out and gave a slow and long lick to my entrance, he followed it with another lick until Buggy was swirling his tongue. I loud moan escaped from mouth when I couldn't hold it it anymore.

His nose would occasionally brush against my clit, causing my body to twitch and strain against him. Buggy's other hand continued to thrust his fingers inside me while he pressed his thumb against my nub. "Buggy..” I moaned lowly. My hand continuing to grab his hair tugging at it slightly, causing him to growl right into my cunt again. "I'm gonna-" I squeezed my eyes shut when he thrusted his fingers faster for me to come.

I began to buck my hips forward and continued to tug onto his blue hair which has been tied up. I squeezed my eyes tights and cried out in pleasure when I felt something build inside of me, and when I finally came, I felt my legs about to give out.

Buggy quickly wiped his messy face and quickly stood up and held me close to him. Holding me so I wouldn't fall.

"Not so fast, sweetheart. It's my turn." I was still coming back to reality when Buggy pushed me down on my knees and I was met with his long and big- "There's no way its gonna fit." I thought looking at him.

"Why don't you use your pretty mouth, (Y/N)?" Buggy hummed slipping his thumb into my mouth before pulling it away. I looked down at him and my entire face got red seeing him completely undressed now. What would people say if they saw me about to fuck a clown.

Suddenly I began to feel nervous as I watched him begin to stroke himself a bit until he began to guide his member closer to my mouth, his other hand running through my hair lovingly.

I did what I suppose I am to do, I opened my mouth sticking my tongue out. Buggy wasted no time and he began to gently fuck my mouth. I hummed when I tasted him and heard him groan above me as I took in more of him and took him out with a pop.

I reached my hands out to pump the rest that couldn't fit in when I took him back again and began to gag when he began to fuck my mouth faster. Buggy gripped my head tight and suddenly pulled be back leaving a string of saliva connected to him. I shrieked when he suddenly began to carry me onto the bed.behind him.

Buggy quickly getting rid of his remaining clothes and grabbed my ankles to part my legs when he got on top of me, his hands gripped my hips as he guided his dick between my folds. I shivered when I felt him toying with me and kept on teasing me before he grabbed himself again and began to slide in.

Both of us moaned when he slid deep inside of me. Buggy cursed a few words and he stayed still for a minute, before he began to thrust into me at a rough pace. He slid deep in me with ease as my juices coated his cock. I moaned out and looked to the side feeling shy again, my breasts bouncing with every hard thrust he did as I felt his fingers rubbing my clit harshly.

Again I felt that familiar sensation returning I clenched around his cock as I interlaced my fingers with Buggy when I felt that snap again and my vision got blurry for a second. I began to feel overstimulation when his hands buried into my hair again until one of his hands reached down my neck. His pace became even rougher and faster, making me come closer to my climax again

"B-Buggy!"

I began to cry when he learned down to whisper dirty things into my ear, his playful self no longer present in the room. Tears streamed down my cheeks as he continued to fuck me. Buggy reached down to rub my clit harshly, making me come again and stain the sheets beneath us. And just when I thought we were done, Buggy flipped me so my stomach would be facing the bed and my back facing him.

Another moan escaped from me when I felt a harsh smack against my ass and felt his hands grab my ass and stretching me to take him in better. At this angle I could feel him closer.

I shut to eyes shut and continued to moan and cry every time he would thrust into me. I bit my lips tight as I felt his harsh thrust inside of me. I reached down myself and stated to circle my finger over my clit, the friction along with this man's rough thrusts making my mind go blank as I rested the side of my face onto the bed.

"Buggy..I-I'm.." I cried out when I felt Buggy holding onto my hips tighter pulling me back against him.

I heard Buggy softly laughing as he watched the faces and moans I made. One last moan and cry came out of me when I came hard. I still felt extremely sensitive when I felt Buggy holding onto me tight until we both gasped, I grasped onto the sheets when I felt forward a bit and felt him getting closer

Buggy gripped onto me tight and moaned close to my ear when he came inside of me. I fell forward and began to shake at what happened. Slowly, Buggy pulled himself out.

I got myself comfortable laying on my side and felt something still slowly dripping out of me. I was too tired to speak or to even look back at the blue haired clown.

Last thing I felt was Buggy rubbing my hips and planting a kiss a quick kiss on my head before I watched him leave the bed. Too tired to question anything, I decided to shut my eyes for a quick nap and felt something warm being placed on top of me.

"(Y/N)! You're safe..where the heck where you?!" Luffy questioned seeing my tired face. "Where you kept locked up? Buggy didn't hurt you did he?!" Luffy grabbed my shoulders and began to shake me.

"Luffy! Now's not the time!" I said not wanting anyone to touch me at how sore I felt. I looked at the young boy and smiled, "…I-I'm fine. None of you got hurt?" I asked genuinely concerned for them.

Though I have no idea what had happened since I had blacked out. I only remember falling asleep and well, waking up alone and pulling away from some curtains and making my way outside of the huge tent. That bastard clown. How dare he leave me.

Everyone of the towns people were set free and thanking Luffy for his help. Everyone genuinely seemed happy and very grateful. That way they know that not every pirates are bad.

"Nothing we couldn't handle." Zoro calmly replied walking past me.

"Kicking the clowns ass was fun. You should've seen it." Nami told me after.

They defeated him then? I sigh and smiled looking at Luffy and pulled his straw hat down and chuckled. There's no way he can't know what happened between that clown and I. That fucking clown will pay if I were to see him again.

I looked over at my friend and smiled at him. "You did great Luffy."

I followed Luffy to the ship and saw him waving at everyone where the ship began to sail. We all got busy and I sat down rethinking what the hell I did back there.

Luffy came over and smiled sitting next to me. "Are you sure you're fine? I swear I heard you crying."

My blood ran cold and I grew pale. I noticed Luffy's worried look and he quickly placed his hand over my forehead.

"Are you sick? Don't tell me you're getting sea sick all of the sudden."

"…Nope. I'm sorry I shouldn't worry you. Nothing happened." I lie straight at his innocent face.

The boy smiled and nodded his head. "If you say so! Let me know if you feel any better."

I nodded my head and saw Luffy run over to the front of the boat. I turned around and spotted Nami and Zoro shaking their heads at me.

[eisa-core]

[GOING SEVENTEEN] HIDE N SEEK ep. 53

SEVENTEEN's signature chase game 'HIDE N SEEK' is back 🤫

???: isn't it like... better than 'MOUSEBUSTERS?'

What awaits at the end after a crazily genius round of hiding and seeking? 😎

[Rules] - [Divide into two teams of six and switch roles for each round]

The first team had been formed, Dino as leader only had the support of Daisy while the others (Minghao, Woozi, Mingyu, Seokmin, Vernon) were forced to join. Never a day will pass where Daisy and Dino do not play each other's wingman.

«We will definitely win» - The opposing team led by Seungkwan was already starting to provoke Dino. «I don't know what it is but I get competitive with him» - Dino rolled his eyes as he shrugged his shoulders, starting a typical BooChan scene in GoSe.

At the beginning of the first round Dino and the "Not Logical" team had to deal with hiding objects and then finding the hiding team.

«Is it camouflage?» - Mingyu was trying to hide the megaphone as best he could. «It sticks out tho» - Daisy had joined him in hiding the objects, as well as Vernon who was standing next to the two of them. «Yeah it's too clean, clean and new» - Mingyu was holding the object, squaring its details until he pressed the power button which made, of course, noise.

«What's wrong with you?» - Vernon and Daisy said in unison, giving a side-eye to Mingyu who stood still to take the rebukes of the other two. Daisy hurriedly went to hide other random items: a poster board, a stuffed animal, a pillow. «Guys, it's time to go» - Dino shouted as soon as the staff began to keep track of the time available before the offense team Hot Pack advanced in looking for the items, but also to hide.

«Do you think they will find the objects?» - Minghao asked while waiting for the opposing team to hide. «I don't think so, Woozi and I did our best» - «Me too!» - Mingyu added, catching his second side-eye of the day.

«Okay, let's go! No wait, Daisy and Mingyu stay here with me, without fighting, the others will do all the work. You know, the beauty of having so many members» - Dino lay down in one of those lounge chairs inside this huge indoor playground, with Daisy on his right and Mingyu on his left, while the others split up to look for members of the opposing team.

«There's one there» - Daisy had seen very well one of the boys hiding behind some bushes and pointed him out without much gesture to Dokyeom who had approached them. «He's hiding there» - She continued to give directions. Do you want to know on whom? Jeonghan. He was hiding but knew he had been seen and begged for silence and not to go chasing after him.

[It's so good to see you]

«Should we chase him?» - Dokyeom looked at the three members who were relaxing. «No, leave him» - Dino replied as he closed his eyes, thus not seeing that Daisy and Dokyeom had already set off running in hopes of catching Jeonghan. «My soldiers are working hard» was the last thing he said before the shift ended. [Creative and funny moments].

[Round 2]

«I need to warm up» - Minghao said as he waited for the other team to hide the items, already inventing a way not to be found. He got under a box, all crouched down. «He fits!» - «He looks like a luggage!» - The others laughed at his choice of imaginative hiding while Daisy covered her face in embarrassment. He's her boyfriend after all. «I'll try it» - Minghao chuckled and once the go to hide had been given, he took Daisy by the hand wanting her help. «Put the box on me please» - They were close to Wonwoo who, unable to play, also laughed at the hiding places. «Alright, don't let them find you right away» [Spoiler: he is found right away] - Daisy placed the box on him not before giving him a kiss hidden by the cameramen.

«Why am I so happy about this?» - Daisy jumped as she looked for a good hiding place; She enjoyed games like that. She initially decided to hide by crouching behind a pillar, but once Joshua found Minghao she changed her mind.

She sat in the chairs placed next to Wonwoo, where those who were found also sat, including not only Minghao, but also Dino, DK, and Woozi: They had no hope of winning. «Did they find you?» - Minghao turned to her mimicking the words, since Jeonghan was there to guard them, but she waved off. «I'm hungry» - so she pretended to be caught by sitting there. «Want some?» - The guard Jeonghan pulled out some chips from his pocket which Daisy took in her hand to open but met Dino's gaze. «Give it to me» - «Here you go boss» - Daisy laughed and then Dino in turn handed the chips to Minghao, who had a lost look. «You take it» - Dino laughed even more and at that moment Daisy decided to release everyone by touching her hand first to Minghao's [A free woman] [Freedom is contagious] «You're free! You haven't got me yet!» - «Get her!» - Jeonghan shouted shocked at being teased.

- [Staff] «Here are the final results»

[Team Hot Pack 1pt; Team Not Logical 0pt]

«Team Hot Pack won against Team Not Logical» - Seungkwan was all too pleased to have defeated Dino after nearly 3 hours of recording. «Too bad» - «We tried so hard actually» - «Knew it» - were the comments of DK, Minghao and Mingyu instead. But not Daisy.

After the recording was finally over, and everyone had gone to take off their microphones and change, she approached Kim Hyunseok, the director of Going Seventeen. «Hyunseok-nim, I heard things earlier: when I was hiding, Jeonghan and Hoshi were talking about photos they took but airdropped with each other! Please check them I swear I heard so but don't tell them now or they will torture me all the time!!!» - What Daisy had heard was true, she was also conflicted about unmasking them during the announcement of the results but it was already funny to her that way!

What will happen to the Seungkwan Team after the spy reveals these secrets?

ー☆ ͏

oc's masterlist.

going seventeen.

[moony-2001]

Lore Olympus ep. 255 critique

Boy oh boy.

No remorse and tonal whiplash

We open this chapter with Persephone waking up not dead, total shock in Hades' arms, asking him if what happened was all a bad dream.

When Hades responds that what happened was not all in her head, we as the readers would expect Persephone to react with shock, remorse, something. Nope. Instead, we get this:

"Oh dear" with the most expressionless face ever. Our empathetic, caring protagonist everyone.

Now maybe I'm being too harsh. However, I feel like most people upon being confronted with the fact that they caused mass destruction would be pretty upset, if not incredibly so. But that's just my 2 cents.

We immediately transition into a party that's being set up for Persephone by all her friends and cohorts. We're then treated to this lovely image:

Thanks Captain Obvious.

While Hermes and Megaera argue over whether or not carrot cake is good, Thanatos pulls Hecate aside and notes about the massive uptick in incoming deaths which confirms what I said in my last critique post. While initially denying it, Hecate quickly realizes that something is very very wrong and that's when Hades and Persephone burst through the doors. Persephone bursts into tears and we get the most tone-deaf sentence ever:

Wow. Haha so funny. Comedy. Given the context of what just happened, this attempt at humor fell so flat.

I feel like the first third of this chapter kind of speaks for itself in terms of the writing and art, which is not good. There's just no emotion at all. I get the feeling that we're supposed to feel bad for Persephone and I just... don't. I don't have a whole lot more to say about this portion of the chapter; just that when I read it, I strained my eyeballs from rolling them so hard.

Hades tries not to make everything about himself challenge: Impossible

We transition into the post-party disaster cleanup where Persephone is hiding out in a greenhouse and Hades and Hecate are inside. Hades takes this opportunity to make everything about himself.

First of all, you're not and you're not.

But on a more serious note, this is not the first time we see Hades take a situation that has either nothing or almost nothing to do with him and make it all about himself. In fact, this is something he does frequently throughout the comic. Hades, in my opinion, very much has a "me, me, me, it's all about me" mindset.

One instance that comes to mind is this scene that happens in early s2 after Persephone opens up about her childhood and AOW. She barely has had time to share and process her traumatic experiences when Hades decides that this is the perfect time to dump 2000 years' worth of pent-up trauma onto a girl he's known for maybe 2 weeks at that point. Yet, he refuses to actively seek help during his time before meeting Persephone and even calls his therapist a hack.

Another instance is when Persephone confronts Hades about ripping out Alex's eye in s1 (when she was still somewhat empathetic to nymphs and whatnot).

Hades, when torturing Alex, very quickly shifts from the mentality of "you could've really damaged Persephone's reputation" to "I'm going to punish you because I view Persephone as my property and how dare you do this to me?"

Hades even outright admits it when confronted. He took a situation that had nothing to do with him and completely made it about himself.

Another instance is when Persephone tells Hades about what Apollo did to her and Hades flies off the handle and makes her trauma about himself. About what he is going to do even though that is not his decision to make.

It baffles me how conceited Hades is despite claiming to care about Persephone. I don't understand how you can look at a person who is going through a hell of a time and think "Let's make this about me". But that's a whole other post for the future

Zeus and Apollo

Skipping to the end of the episode, Apollo calls Hades (with Zeus' phone?) and tells him that he wants to take Persephone off Hades' hands.

Straight up, I don't like Hades and Persephone either as characters or together as a couple. I think they bring out the worst in each other. But Persephone is not some dog that needs to be rehomed and frankly, the whiplash Rachel is giving her audience in regards to Apollo's character is going to put me in a neck brace for life. She keeps flip-flopping between trying to make Apollo this sad, sympathetic anti-hero and the most egregious villain to walk the earth. You can not be both Zuko and Azula Rachel. You need to pick a lane and stay in it.

Apollo reveals that Zeus is in a coma and Hermes conveniently has the news up and running so we as the audience can be greeted with this:

"Attempted murder" you say? Of a being that literally can't die? Rachel, do you even know what attempted murder means?

"The defendant took at least one direct (but ineffective) step towards killing another person" and "The defendant intended to kill that person (malice aforethought)" -> California Law and Sentencing

While both of these are true in the fact that Apollo took the steps to kill Zeus and also intended to kill Zeus, they're gods. You can't murder a god. In order for murder to be attempted, or to even happen, the person in question has to be able to die. But then they're a human, not a god.

I feel like a more accurate report would be something along the lines of "Zeus has fallen victim to what seems to be a violent coup that has left him seriously incapacitated." Maybe that's not the best sentence to ever grace the writing scene, but hopefully my point is clear.

Also, how are people still oblivious to the fact that Apollo is, at the very least, incredibly suspicious right now. I mean his father has just been announced to be "dying" and instead of taking the time to mourn or even appear upset, he immediately slides into the position of power as King of the gods.

This chapter definitely wasn't as bad as 254, but it did make my brain hurt. Merry Christmas Eve and Happy Holidays to those of you who don't celebrate Christmas. See you all soon.

[carefulfears]

top 5 (or 10 if you have em) scully taking care of mulder moments <3

she said IF i have 10 😭😭😭

1/ sein und zeit

i fear i have talked about this television scene more times than anyone has ever talked about a television scene....like. one, two, three, four, i was even foolishly invited onto a podcast to talk about it more...

my tags here:

she gets down on the Ground. there's something so primal about it. there's such a lack of pretense and sense of desperation about it. the way he hits the table. we so Rarely see him lash out like that. but it's just too much to Bear. like everything in him is just Breaking the only thing that he's even remotely been able to hold onto amidst all of the unbearable loss and trauma in his life has failed. he's fumbling around for anything that might make it better. that audries fic describing him in this moment as an 'addict out of a fix' with 'newborn anger.' “this is the world? this is it?” it's the way that he spends this whole ep cooking up some elaborate mythology about missing children and how they can be found and then the last shot of the episode is that wide shot of all of the children's graves. sometimes he's just wrong. the world is so much fucking darker and uglier sometimes than the way he sees it. and that's what is crashing down around him in this moment. and she's sitting in the wreckage holding him tight.

this is such brave, brave love. i keep thinking about CSM in the following episode, standing in scully's apartment, warning her. "allow him his ignorance, it's what gives him hope."

she doesn't know what will happen to him, to her, to them, when she breaks down the only method of coping that he has. his mother lost her bedrock too, and she didn't survive. from the moment scully enters, you can watch it break her. she does it anyway. she gets down on the ground, and she cries, and she holds him. god, it all just would've been so different, if there'd been just 1 person, 27 years ago.

(thinking about mulder reaching up to hold scully when missy died, and these tags asking: did anyone hold him, when it was his sister?)

i love the show's message on grief (and trauma), in that this is all that is necessary for "closure." there is no "Truth," (and there really isn't any closure, there's no "beyond" the sea). but it matters that someone knows. it matters that someone bears witness. it matters that someone tells you the truth, even when it fucking breaks their heart. sits in the destruction with you.

the exhaustion in her voice the next morning, when she tells skinner, "it's been a hard night for him." she's still wearing her work clothes from the day before. she was up all night. she's tired, and she's scared, and she's sad. it's been a hard 7 years. it's been a hard 27 years.

it makes me tear up every time i see it, the way she blocks him in the doorway. she's not moving. this is just so scully. it's not even starbuck, it's just so scully. she would keep him in that apartment where she could cover him and control what touches him forever, if she could. (she can't, so you're not taking him anywhere without her. the way she looks her boss in the eye and tells him he better book her a flight too. brave love.)

2/ demons

god, this one just makes me sad. this might be the one that makes me saddest. she's dying. she doesn't have it in her, anymore. i talked about this in my newsletter (and i wrote a fic about it once) but this is like...the only time where she never calls him out on what he's doing. she never yells. she never rolls her eyes. she never gets frustrated with him. she doesn't have it in her. she's dying. he will be alone. she won't be here the next time. what can she even do about it?

i always think about this post:

and you know she is thinking about how if she hadn’t been there he would’ve died. and how the next time he does something like this, she won’t have enough life left in her to keep them both alive. she might not even have enough left for herself. and she’ll give whatever she does have left to him, but it won’t be enough to save either of them. she’ll die cold and pale and he’ll burn himself out. and what can she do but hold him? who will he have when she’s gone? what will he do to himself? who will he call?

and these tags:

this is so cautious and tender and apologetic. sorry for all the pain he feels constantly. and sorry that nothing can ease it. and sorry that she is dying and leaving him like this.

she started writing to him as soon as she was diagnosed, begging. begging forgiveness, begging courage, begging grace. begging for him to not feel there was anything more he could've done, to not become the next cause he is lost in. for him to keep going, as she needs to know he's "out there."

but she's seen him hold a gun to himself too many times, and she knows he's coming down with her. and it's such a loss? this is a person she gave up everything, including her life, to follow, because she believed in him and what he wanted to do in the world that much. but things are different now. he won't survive this. he won't be "out there" saving the world.

what can she do? go to rhode island at 5am, wrap him up. stay quiet, stay still, but scream and thrash at anyone who's careless with him. sink down next to him, cover him, hold him. "maybe we need every answer in the world to survive a single question: how long do we have each other?" (x)

(also, her memento mori journal, in general. she sat in that hospital alone, for days, knowing she was going to die. and she wrote letter, after letter, after letter, to him. so that he would have something. so that he wouldn’t be left alone with nothing, again.)

3/ the end

"as mulder appears. the look on his face is of a man who's seeing, smelling, and tasting the loss of everything he has worked for. it's the look of utter defeat. angle on scully at the door. she sees only mulder right now...she moves to him now. putting her arms around him, holding on to keep him from breaking. off this, we fade out. the end." (script)

i think so often about the script notes of this scene. the description of mulder, as absorbed in destruction. everything that he's worked for, literally reduced to (cigarette) ash. scully only focused on him.

in the final angle of the season, you can really see how she's standing in front of him. her fingers clutching him. but when she first grabs him, it's so tentative. it almost feels like she's trying to see if he's still there, if he exists, if his work doesn't.

this is...the whole thing! there's a reason why this was "the end." the final image of this iteration of the series, before everything changes. this is what it is all about. it's mulder walking headfirst into the devastation of the world. drenched in loss. seeing it. smelling it. tasting it. surrounded by it. and it's scully knowing what he'll find even as he's still moving (this script note, from the hallway: "reverse on scully. returning the look. knowing what mulder is going to find. and what it will mean.")

following behind. eyes on him, while he takes in the ash. just holding on for dear life; trying to keep him close, whole.

(also, i love the moment before the fire, at his apartment, after diana was shot. the way scully tells skinner that he can reach her at mulder's if he needs her, because that's where she'll be. he doesn't even have a bed, or anywhere for her to stay!! she's not leaving him.)

4/ paper hearts

oh, starbuck. we are really in it now.

paper hearts is an ahab and starbuck episode, yes. but mostly it's about grief. mostly it's about harsh awakenings. mostly it's about confrontation with fear, scully's included.

one of the most haunting moments of the series, to me, is when they speak to the father of the 14th victim, twenty-one years after his daughter went missing. and through tears, the father says, "i used to think...that missing was worse than dead, because...you never knew what happened. now that i know, i'm glad my wife's not here. she got luckier."

in that moment, as mulder looks over at the photos on the mantle, missing is not worse than dead. it is not worse than knowing. and later that day, in his first scene, roche calls it exactly as it is: "i understand you take this very personally, mulder."

i've written about this scene in the hallway so many times, because it's truly the crux of this episode (my favorite episode).

from my newsletter:

There’s something so viscerally deep about this episode that’s hard to put into words, but to me, it is most palpable in the moment in the hallway when Mulder asks Scully if she believes that his sister was abducted by aliens. And you can see in his face that he knows the answer, and he’s challenging her to come out and say it. You can see in Scully’s that she would rather admit to anything else.

he's challenging her. he's taking their entire dynamic, and throwing it in her face. not to be cruel. not to disrupt. but just to say...so what now? isn't this what you believe?

i don't think that they've ever been so fragile, as in this hallway, honestly. they rarely threaten to break it all down. their entire lives are built on him walking up to tragedy and saying: it was aliens. it was XYZ. and her following behind saying: no. it was a killer, it was a man.

what does that mean? what is she really saying?

this episode is hard on scully. mulder has never been more haunted. there has never been a bigger reminder of what they are actually doing. they are not just chasing little green men, having adventures, studying sewer worms. they are trying to make sense of something that will never make sense. they are trying to find a "truth" that they do not want to know. they are living their lives in mourning, in bereavement, in remembrance, of a missing little girl, and scully is terrified that they'll find her. that it will be exactly like roche threatens. that missing is not worse than dead.

and there is no one else. there is no one else that even knows how haunted he is. how stuck he is, in that childhood bedroom, like he said all those years ago. how deeply sad it is.

it's all of the little things. it's the "you did good work, mulder" in the beginning. it's the way she asks if he's okay to go tell the 14th victim's family. it's way she exclaims "oh my god" when roche says that he just wants to see mulder's face, when he finds samantha's body. one of the few times that we ever see scully lose control, but she just stands up and screams, opens the door and wordlessly waits for mulder to get up and get out of there.

it's the way that she hears "help me, scully" and digs in the dirt, with her bare hands.

(you can tell in his eyes here that he's been crying, and it really gets to me. there's so much that we don't see.)

in the end, they're back in the basement. nothing left but one scrap of tattered fabric, one more lost failure. it's over. she just comes down to check on him.

the progression of scully's face in this last scene is just unbelievably gut-wrenching to me. her smile, when she tells him to get some sleep, and he laughs. the way it disappears when he holds her, and can't see her anymore. with his mother, flashing that smile and hugging her was all that it took to convince her not to worry. when he repeats the same actions with scully, she looks like she could break.

this post:

Episodes like this make me think how alone - not just lonely, but truly alone - Mulder was before her. Nobody lost sleep over him falling apart under the fist of decades old trauma. Nobody grappled with him, let him wrestle his grief against them, and still stayed. Nobody visited him in the hospital, flew to Alaska, lied for him, stayed by his bed for days straight without an extra change of clothes. Nobody else knew he was suffering or wanted to, knew it more than he knew. That end of Paper hearts where she tells him to get some sleep, he laughs at the ridiculousness of it, but also out of incredulity at having someone to wish for better on his behalf. The heartbroken look on her face as he’s laughing into her waist seems to be her coming to the same realisation; “Who looked after you before? How long did you feel like this on your own?”

she is heartbroken. there is so much grief, in being starbuck. there's grief in being needed. there's grief in following ghosts. there's grief in loving someone who is so encased in pain, in loss. he will not go home and get some sleep. a well-placed joke, that smile, a hug, does not convince her that he's okay. he hurts so much, for so long, and he has one person who knows it. and all they do is keep moving: closer and closer to that breaking point that she is so afraid of, and they can't stop.

5/ redux ii

remember when dana scully lied on her death bed and looked up at mulder as he told her that he was not willing to jeopardize skinner to save himself, and she replied, "well, then, you have to lay it on me."

the way he smiles and shakes his head, chokes out "i can't...i can't do that." through tears...they are so kind to each other. all that she has left in the world is her reputation, and she says: take it. take it all. take everything.

she cries when he won't do it.

6/ herrenvolk

okay, i wanna get into some slightly lighter ones, so y'all remember when she nearly fully knocked skinner into the wall, because mulder came in with a (checks notes) scratch on his face?

this is just so scully.

she is so panicked. she just wants to slow him down, to stand between him and the world for even one moment longer.

these tags:

she's almost begging him not to go in. the extent of her worry is heartbreaking. she loves him. it frightens her to know what awaits him.

one of the biggest conflicts of scully's character is that she just cannot stop him, she cannot shield him, she cannot protect him. the way she leans up here, and pulls him to her shoulder. covers him with a blanket. this is what she can do.

there is so much grief in being starbuck!! in loving someone who walks blindly into a world that you do not trust. in following someone into the worst night of their life: over, over, over. years, years, years. in being first mate, holding the responsibility on your shoulders of having to steer in a safe direction, only having one to choose from.

(i also think it's really special, all of the little moments where she checks in. in the previous episode, in the hospital hallway, the way she says "are you okay?" so softly.

in paper clip, when she makes him stop, and says "no, wait, hold on a second...i don't think you've had time to process everything that you've been through."

remnants of the girl who told him she'll cover for him and he should just go get a beer, take some time for himself, after jersey. who suggested he talk to someone, when jerry lamana died. she's always wanted so much for him, but she understands more now. there's still room to pause, for a moment, before he carries on.)

7/ anasazi

ladies, would you shoot your man with a gun, to keep him from endangering himself, while he was being laced with LSD, and then drag him across the country singlehandedly, while he was unconscious, despite him being twice your size? and this, too, is taking care.

the way she says, "i was certain they would have killed you, mulder." and the fear in her voice, his hand on her knee. (she is so young. she really doesn't know what to do, not as often as she seems like she does). the way he says, "thank you. thank you for taking care of me." they are so kind to each other. it'll break your fucking heart.

(i remember asking y'all a few weeks ago, if mulder and scully ever say "i'm sorry," if they ever apologize to each other. and we came up with a couple of times. i'll tell you what, though: not as often as they say "thank you.")

8/ fire

girlbosses when they singlehandedly solve serial murders, to get their best friend's shitty ex away from them!!! okay, i put this one on here because we were talking about it yesterday, but scully really does handle the entire situation with phoebe so perfectly, and that's hard to do, when you're dealing with friends and abusers.

trish, i loved this part of your post yesterday:

scully gives him the space to talk about it, never says too much but she says enough. her phrasing is SO important. she repeats what he just told her in a way that frames it as wrong.

she's a little rabid, lol. we can see it on her face when she's alone, or when mulder's not looking. but around him (around phoebe too) she's calm. she listens, she addresses what he tells her as bad, without pressing. when he tells her that she's off the case, that he doesn't want to expose her to what phoebe is doing, she asks one time: are you sure you don't want help?

he says yes, and she does it anyway. she catches that fucking murderer so that this woman can go home. just, like, an inspiration to us all.

trish's tweet:

really, truly, genuinely. scully solving the case in fire was the absolute best course of action she could have taken. get that woman out of here, an ocean away from mulder. (give him freedom, let him heal, teach him what real love feels like)

(her eyes locked in on him here, phoebe behind her. the way that when phoebe leaves the room, scully says, "you alright?" instantly.)

meeting phoebe just a few months into their partnership made her so fucking crazy like...i make fun of her for being sick in the head in regards to everyone he meets (men and women alike) and never wanting anyone around him other than her but like, my god, can you blame her!!! he's such a gentle person and people are so cruel and it makes her eyes bug out of her head.

yeah, i really don't have much else to say here, you guys. she solved a murder herself, a case that she wasn't even supposed to be working, so that his old gf would go away and stop being mean to him. she doesn't play!!

(also! while we're on the subject of abusive exes, honorable mention to scully cornering diana into an empty room and telling her to "just think" about who mulder is, who he was when she met him, compared to where he is now. "and then try and stand there in front of me. look me in the eye. and tell me mulder wouldn't bust his ass trying to save you.")

9/ deadalive

oh, you guys remember that time she raised him from the dead, right?

scully at 8 months pregnant, sitting in that hospital chair, holding his hand, for days. knowing he can’t feel it, knowing that there’s nothing that says he’ll ever wake up. that it’s impossible. that there is no science…yeah. she just sits there and holds his hand.

i love the moment when she finds out, and she comes barreling through that hallway. she hits skinner first, and starts yelling, “i want to see him. no, i need to see him,” slams her fists into his chest.

then she moves onto doggett. repeats, “i need to see him” through tears. and the way doggett says… “i know. but i wish you wouldn’t.”

she’s loved. they want to protect her, protect her image of mulder as she knew him. but they also both know she will fucking plow them down.

i always think of this fic and feel so ill:

“I pulled you six feet out of the ground,” she whispers, dangerously low. “Because I couldn’t live without you. I gave birth to your child.”

she fed his fish while he was in a casket. she planned a funeral and decorated a nursery alone, at the same time. she ran herself ragged all over the country, trying to keep his work going. she raised him from the dead.

(i also feel that i can throw in here, as related, the time that she busted him out of prison and then abandoned everything in her entire life including her career, her family, and everything she owns, to go on the run from the law and live secretly in seedy motels for years to be with him.)

10/ fight the future

there are too many contenders for my last spot, so i’m gonna keep it simple, and go with the most special movie moment. (of all movies).

from my newsletter:

“Mulder watches the spaceship as it flies overhead, his face glows with a heart-melting grin of childlike wonder and awe.”(x)

That’s exactly what it feels like to me, it’s an innocence and excitement that was so present in season one, that was all over him when he told Scully to come look in the second episode, but that’s rare to see in the later seasons. It’s rare to see at this point in their story, after all that’s happened. They are stranded in Antarctica, both of them injured, both of them freezing in the cold, and they are holding each other and gazing up at the sky. What a perfect thing in their big momentous feature, to bring it all back to what it started with.

there’s such a reverent sentimentality to it, in the simplicity. she had stopped breathing, a few minutes earlier. but when he passes out, she pulls herself up, and grabs onto him. keeps him alive, keeps them both alive, just by holding him close. that’s really the heart of it.

(also, i find it so moving that this film is the only time in the franchise that scully considers leaving, not working with him anymore, and it’s because she thinks she’s not good for him. that she’s holding him back. she never considers him as anything other than wanted, something worth believing in.)

some honorable mentions to: little green men, which i’ve written about here. (especially her secret-signaling him to their secret meet-up place, just to ask if he’s okay). the erlenmeyer flask, which i’ve talked about here. (she literally stops him in the street to tell him that she should have listened to him, and she’s sorry, because she should have trusted his instincts. that means so much, you guys). her telling colton she hopes he falls on his ass after he was making rude comments about mulder in squeeze, screaming at a serial killer that she’ll gas him into hell herself and no one will stop her, if mulder isn’t okay, in beyond the sea….she has threatened and shouted at and smacked around so many people for fucking with him, and this too is care!! (anger meaning you’re worth being angry over, etc etc)

how desperately she became frantic to find their son, after 17 years resigned to never ever looking for him, never ever endangering him that way…because she became convinced that it’s the only thing that would help mulder.

and how important samantha is to her. it matters. it matters, that sam is remembered. that someone else in the world knows. someone knows that they played baseball in the summers, that they fought over the television, that he’s looked for her in every room he’s ever been in. someone else cares about her; not as a white whale, not as a photo on a desk, as a little girl who broke her collarbone because she played on swings too hard. scully listened to her journal, and cried. listened to how much she suffered. how much she just wanted to see her big brother. (scully kept a journal like that, too, once. underwent those same tests. almost died at the hands of those same men. wrote her testimony to that same person.) it’s taking care of mulder, to love samantha. and she does.

[nozunhinged]

my love sea rollercoaster

Okay so I was at the forefront of the love sea haters (don't ask me about mame I don't know anything about that discoure you can read why I didn't like it here if you want) but as weak as I am I kept watching and ep 2 still didn't do it for me but ep 3 turned the boat around so fast that I feel absolutely sea sick (literally!!) right now -- and because the discourse and perspectives on tumblr made me try to keep watching unbiased, I'd like to share my five cents as to why the story suddenly works for me after I've spent the first two eps rolling my eyes so hard I got a migraine.

I think it comes down to three major moments, with their conflict as the turning point

When rak started spitting the most degrading speech going at mut for dragging him out of the house, literally blowing so fucking low the blowjob mut was wishing for in the end was sky high terrain, I went "ok that's it, I'm turning this off" -- rak said word for word "no means no" but mut still kept pulling him I was close to angry tears what a fucked up situation that is, I thought.

But just as mut made rak snap out of it with his unimpressed reaction, so did I.

It was like the first half of the episode flashed right in front of me within the second rak was speechless. He was so on edge from the many calls he had in the first part and before that the diving incident -- he was streched out so thin that of course he would fall back to his default mode which is insulting anyone who dares to get within a 10ft radius of him. And then a guy who even dares to break down his pretentious walls? Better double down! (I'm still mad about raks tirade though, I would've dumped him in the sea right then and there)

But here's the thing, mut isn't fazed at all. Like, at all at all. And that's exactly what rak needs in this moment. Someone to vent his anger at so he can collect himself. We know now that mut had it a million times worse than this and his reaction isn't just because he has the hots for rak, it's literally his character. They both would react the exact same way if it was any other person. The difference? They develop an emotional bond over it and that's how they move forward. CHEFS KISS!

You might think but noz, of course its his character, thats the whole point? Yeah but not to me.

In the last two episodes, it felt like everything that happened between them was excruciatingly forced by the narrative (see my yaoi-post why I despise that) -- that everything between them is only brought out because they met. I know that thai bl (no, lets say the romance genre in general) has a big issue writing and introducing characters in a manner that makes their romance believable, but most of the time I can overlook that because we're not here for deep literary masterpieces, we're here for the smooches and the fumbles. I get it.

But when it feels so forced like it did the last two eps to me, even I just check out. So I already shelved that series in my mind and it's the first time I get so damn humbled that I have to write down a million paragraphs to defend myself lol. I think my longing for watching a believable lovestory reached so deep that it contributed to my current brainrot.

Don't get me wrong -- I attest this shift 100% to fortpeats insanely stellar acting. They make the characters believable and they make me understand why rakmut are prefect for each other although I HATE their dynamic. But that's the beauty of a good story my friends, I get now why their pulling and pushing works for them and I'll gladly watch them do that! Because until now, no aspect of the show managed to do that, neither the narrative progression, nor the editing, writing or pacing. Nothing. It was all just a jumbled, annoying mess.

So what's different now? The story lets fortpeat finally shine! (Accidentally maybe?)

Someone already said that the scenes are stale and slow (cant find the post anymore sorry) due to the fact that nothing is happening other than the two of them talking in the same position behind a different background and I 100000% agree. And the only way this poor choice is saved by is fortpeat. I was hanging on their lips for every single word. Their dynamic was suddenly so clear and palpable to me, I struggled to breathe properly. Rakmut are fucking made for each other and I'm losing my shit over it.

I can't believe they managed to make ALL the flaws of this show just POOF -- go away??? And it just keeps going like that. I could write 10 more pages about the little details of their dialogues that cemented my impression but I'll try wrap this up first.

The two other pivotal moments (to me) were muts reaction to rak telling him about his name. Yes, you read that right. Now that I finally understood how these two are ticking, I absolutely 100% understand where mut was going with this objectively BONKERS suggestion. Rak drops this bombshell of a trauma on him and he offers to do exactly that too??? Well, in muts head this is the only way to make rak understand that the outcome can be different. So of course, this idea would only work on him. Made for each other, I'm telling you. Two pieces of a fucked up puzzle.

Now, that scene.

First, doubling down on how much worse mut had it. (I'm not talking about his house thats a topic for another post) I think this one little story was enough to land the punch, the talk last ep was too long and clunky. I wouldve loved to have a scene where the guy who was fired tells the story to someone and rak overhears it, not understanding a thing and then putting the pieces together when mut starts talking I-- oh I think i wouldnt have survived that, I cried then and there already.

Well yeah I was in tears when they started fucking that was awkward but again raks reaction just made sense. They don't know each other that well and rak only knows one way how to make mut feel good which is riding him to the moon and back. And as a little cherry on top he completely let loose without any restraints.

There's already this amazing post by @hanhonymous which explains perfectly why the pillow talk after works so well as it does, so I'm not gonna say anything more. Just know that I was full on bawling at this point. When rak said "try it" it lost it. How he encourages his island boy who said "someone like me" a million times in the last ten minutes was perfect. Beautiful. Absolutely wonderful. Even his false lead felt perfect for this moment because only this way mut would understand that rak is absolutely serious.

I don't know how the bangkok arc will play out, my hopes are not very high but I will forever have this lovely little episode. And their lovely little pillow talk. And when they confess and love each other for real I will once again cry like a loser because fortpeat are amazing. Please someone get them a high quality production they deserve it so much.

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 5-8 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we returned to my favorite ladies. They realized they were spending too much on their hangouts, so made the silly decision to just stop hanging out. That broke fairly quickly at least and they just started having more cost-effective meals together. Nomoto got a full time position along with her work bestie, and they're thriving. Nomoto watched her first lesbian film, and has made an internet friend. Kasuga noticed their new neighbor, and so they have begun the process of befriending her.

Episode 5

Very glad both of my favorite food shows with LGBT couples are wading directly into the importance of marriage equality.

Fuck yes we're getting back to the cabbage rolls!

YES!! A WATCH PARTY!!! Invite Kasuga!!

Kasuga is so careful with Nagumo. I'm not sure I'm reading exactly how determined each of them is being about being polite as Kasuga tries to be helpful.

Oh, Nagumo, I hope you find a way to be comfortable eating with them eventually.

Now, Nomoto, you were so close to telling her. Come on!

These cabbage rolls look good. I hadn't thought about putting them in a soup.

Yes, stay focused on Nagumo! We must befriend her!

Episode 6

I like introducing a character who struggles with eating with others into this show. I'm relieved it's only about eating in front of strangers.

That was an incredible eye roll from Kasuga to the message from her aunt.

Kasuga overhearing older women unpack their disdain for the caregiver expectation placed on them them is a good choice.

An asexual lesbian who wants to watch her stories with others. She is one of us. This is the gay sex and celibacy website z after all.

I like Yaku! She was warm to Nomoto, asked a good question about snacks. Admitted she doesn't like cooking in a way that doesn't make Nomoto's hobby seem bad. Then they enjoyed a film together.

Yaku is great. She's letting Nomoto lead here, and giving her encouragement to continue sharing.

Come through, Yaku! There is room for all types of lesbians! Quiet gays who maybe don't want to have a ton of sex can sit with us too!

"Are we in a drama?" Yes, Yaku, and you are the cool, self-actualized queer.

I'm glad Nomoto can share! This will definitely help her get out of her own head.

Episode 7

Oh, is her name Yako? I will start using that spelling.

Sayama, thank you for trying to help your friend confess to her crush, but she is determined for this to be a slow burn show.

Kasuga backs in to park She's better than all of us.

This conversation is ugly. The dad doesn't think he or the eldest son should do anything to help with elder care, but Kasuga should give up her entire life to take care of people who disrespect her. I can see why she's avoided them for this long.

I'm glad we already knew that Kasuga was not given enough to eat in the first season, so this is all reaffirming it and letting us examine the long term impacts.

They're all sharing on the balcony!

They're making donuts together!!!

Nagumo seems like she had a good time, and they're encouraging her to eat some on her own.

Childhood trauma episode, I see.

Nomoto and Kasuga have so much grace for Nagumo. They let her share about herself, asked her how they can best support her, and Nomoto even encouraged Kasuga to take some donuts home so Nagumo isn't the only one leaving with food.

Episode 8

SAYAMA GETS DONUTS TOO! I love this show!!!

Wow, this conversation between Kasuga and Ms. Fujita hit me. The seriousness with which she stressed to Kasuga not to give up her life for her parents landed so hard. This is complicated for me, because I've accepted that my role as the oldest will be that of caregiver in the future.

They turned her room into a storage space and still just expect her to clean it up. I'm glad she put her foot down here. I do believe in giving back the love and care we've received to our parents when they get older, but you are giving back what was given to you. Kasuga is right to not want to spend her adulthood as a household servant to an ungrateful man and his mother.

Wow, this Chosen Family scene took me right the fuck out.

Nomoto is correct. I will also not forgive Kasuga's father for making her feel like this.

She almost said it! We're getting close!

I'm so glad we're expanding the cast this season to deal with more issues affecting Japanese women. I really like that they spent two episodes on Kasuga deciding that the family she's building here is more important to her than the family that mistreated her. I'm so happy that Nomoto has another lesbian friend to talk to. I'm so relieved that Nagumo is opening up to them and starting to share in the warmth our ladies have offered her. I will be thinking about that donut scene for a while. I'm so happy that we have so much more time with them this season.

[apomaro-mellow]

Ep 2

The Dinner Car

The next car they went into had elegant piano music playing. There was a suit standing at a restaurant podium. Just a suit, no person on the inside.

"Do you have a reservation?", the suit asked in a thick French accent.

"Uhh", Eddie looked to Steve, who looked to Lucas, who looked to Chadwick.

"My good man, I am afraid we do not have a reservation", the knight replied.

"Then we cannot allow you into this establishment."

Well they couldn't just go right back out the door. They had to find the other door and continue down the line of trains. They turned to look at each other, willing one another to come up with a plan. Steve was the one to step up to the podium.

"Look here. You obviously don't know who I am. My name is Steven Harrington. Yes, of the Indiana Harringtons, related to the Virginia Harringtons, and connected to the Kennedys by way of my Aunt Elaine. So if you don't let us in, I'll have no choice but to make a call and your job will be the least of your worries. You'll have a national incident on your hands."

While the suit had no body and thus no head or face, it was clear he was getting flustered as Steve went on. "M-my apologies Monsieur Harrington! We will have you and your guests seated right away! Rochelle! Menus! And Jon Pierre, get them some jackets! We have a dress code policy, you understand."

"I understand I just told you who I am and I still don't have a glass in my hand."

Jon Pierre, also a floating suit, provided them all with suit jackets that fit like gloves. Rochelle, a simple, black dress hovering over some heels, led them to a table. She also had a French accent.

"You will be dining with Monsieur Allard, only the best for a Harrington."

She set their menus down at a long table. At the head of it was a grand maroon suit with a top hat, accompanied by a billowing blue dress to one side and a less elaborate green suit on the other.

"Are you really related to the Kennedy's?", Lucas whispered from his spot next to Steve.

"Not even. But you gotta act like you know important people in places like this", Steve whispered back.

"What a pleasant surprise this evening brings", Allard said in a boisterous voice. "My friends, Madame Fantine and Monsieur Gaspard, it seems we have almost-royalty at our table."

Steve raised a glass in recognition. It almost sounded like a backhanded compliment but that was how these things went.

"Sitting down to dinner wasn't in any of your steps", Eddie said.

"Neither was walking a red carpet", Steve said. "Apparently sometimes we need to do things to find the door. Besides, when was the last time you ate?"

Eddie opened his mouth but his stomach answered for him with a low growl.

Fantine scoffed. "How uncouth."

"Well excuuuuse me for having bodily functions", Eddie rolled his eyes.

"Monsieurs we have but one rule here", Allard began, then said in unison with the other two. "Mind your manners."

Steve sat up straighter while Eddie slouched even more. Lucas was looking fearfully at all the utensils.

A soup was served and Eddie went out of his way to loudly slurp it every time Allard tried to speak. Steve kicked him under the table and gave him a look of reprimand.

"So Mr. Allard, what do you do for a living?", Eddie asked.

"I am an industrialist", Allard answered.

"Ahh, an industry man", Eddie said while Steve focused on cutting his food into acceptable bites. "So what's your stance on worker's rights?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Eddie", Steve hissed in warning.

"It's just that my uncle works in a factory and I know those folks put in long, hard hours and now that I'm face to face with one of the big bosses, I'm curious to know your thoughts." Eddie angled his body towards the man, letting his arm lean on the table.

"No elbows on the table!", Fantine scolded.

"What? Is the table your baby?"

"Where did you receive your education?", Gaspard asked.

"You can hardly call what I got an education", Eddie grinned.

"You know he's kind of right", Lucas agreed.

Eddie beamed. Lucas might've been on the path of a jock, but he'd always be one of his boys.

"I've been at that school for a year but it feels like the teachers have already counted me out."

"Well a professor of any caliber knows how to separate the directionless from the ambitious", Allard said.

"You hear that Lucas? We've got no direction", Eddie stuck a fork in one of his potatoes, the main course having just been served.

"If the shoe fits", Fantine huffed.

Eddie was waving his potato around as he spoke. "How can people stand to be around someone like you?"

This elicited gasps from the three of them and Steve covered his face.

"I think we've indulged you quite enough!", Allard shouted.

"Oh I'm just getting started!", Eddie shouted back, rising to his feet. He stepped onto the chair and then onto the table.

Fantine fainted and fell to the floor at the impropriety. Lucas was using the distraction to use whatever fork he wanted to eat.

"See I know I'll never be able to impress pompous bastards like you. So why even try? Why should I bend to your rules when the game is always stacked against people like me?"

"You are a child who has yet to learn his place", Allard growled. Slowly, he began to grow in size. "But pain is always the greatest teacher."

Eddie stood there frozen a moment as he was face with a giant. Steve pulled him off the table before Allard could swipe at him. They ducked under the table.

"Why do you always have to do that!?"

"Do what? Be myself?"

"Break the rules! Make people dislike you? Is it fun? Annoying people to the point where they don't wanna be around you anymore?"

The table lifted up and was thrown. Allard bent to reach for them again but they bolted in time. That was when Steve noticed something peculiar about his hat. He and Eddie ran to one of the circular tables in the restaurant, the white table cloth hiding them.

"Being my honest, annoying self is better than lying about who I am", Eddie argued in a soft voice.

"Having table manners isn't lying. It's...it's-"

"It's what, Steve?"

"It's how you survive these things!" Steve's palms had been up as he gestured, so Eddie was able to see the 161 go up to 174.

"Steve...your number."

Anymore conversation was cut off as Allard found their table and tossed that one too. "You both will learn to be functioning members of society!"

Eddie took Steve's hand and ran into the kitchen. Inside Chadwick was helping Lucas pack some food into a sack.

"Perfect timing", Lucas said. "Did you guys see what I saw on his hat?"

"Yeah", Steve nodded. "The door. It's on top of his top hat. But how do we get to it?"

"Sir Lucas has a splendid idea!", Chadwick exclaimed.

"Does it involve making an ass of myself?", Eddie asked, ripping the suit jacket off.

"Yeah", Lucas answered. "But you're used to that."

Allard was still stomping around the restaurant in a rage, somehow THAT wasn't considered rude, when Eddie burst forth from the kitchen.

"Hey ya ball of hot air? You wanna tell me which spoon I should use? Or how about women's liberation?"

Allard rounded on him and Eddie took him on a chase, distracting him while the others got ready.

"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!", Eddie taunted.

He kept leading him around until he saw a thumbs up from Lucas, then began running in their direction. Steve, Chadwick, and Lucas had taken the long table cloth and tied to a couple of columns in the restaurant. Eddie looked back to make sure Allard was still coming after him.

He was reaching out but Eddie jumped over the trip wire and ran behind one of the pillars. Allard only saw red and so he promptly fell over with a loud crash. The door was right there, atop his hat. Steve opened it and rushed the others outside before going out and closing the door himself.

They were all panting as the desert outside rushed by them. When he caught his breath, Eddie grabbed Steve's hand.

"Why is it going up? How long has it been doing that?"

"Steve's number is going up?", Lucas looked for himself.

"It's nothing", Steve snatched his hand away.

"It's not nothing! It could be a clue!", Eddie threw his own hands up.

"It went up when you were acting in that car before, okay? And then just now, you saw. I don't get why and we don't know for sure if it's important. It could mean nothing."

"Everything means something", Chadwick pointed out.

"It went up when we were arguing", Eddie said. "What is it? Do you think I'm annoying? Uncouth? Rude?"

"No", Steve shook his head. "None of those things. I just-you just...You don't understand."

"Then explain to me, so I can", Eddie said, eyes sincere.

Steve looked into them, feeling just the smallest bit of weight lift off him. "That's how those people are. You have to play by their rules. If you don't, you get booted out, just like we almost did."

"You called it survival earlier. Is that what it's like being a Harrington? You have to survive dinners?"

"Not...not most of them. But especially during family gatherings. It's like walking a minefield. Honestly, I wish I could be more like you, Eddie. I wish I wasn't afraid to be me all the time."

"You were right about one thing though", Eddie said. "I act out and make people hate me. If I point it out then they can't find...they can't find what I actually hate about myself."

The numbers on both of their hands changed, going down this time. Lucas clapped his hands together.

"That's it! The numbers just went down when you two were being honest about yourselves!"

"Oh that can't be it Sinclair", Eddie groaned, hands going on his hips. "A mystical magical train is invested in our emotional growth?"

"I mean, think of other stories like this. Alice in Wonderland, she thinks she wants nonsense but when she gets it she wants order. Maybe our journey is like that, learning about ourselves."

"Counterpoint, this is all an elaborate simulation game and Steve and I just lost points for being gooey and not killing the boss."

"Only one way to find out what happens if we get to zero", Steve said, nodding towards the next car.

They all really hoped something good would happen when their numbers reached zero.

Steve's number: 159

Eddie's number: 257

Lucas' number: 33

Next Episode: The Caricature Car

Tag Team:

@affablevixen

[genderlessginger]

Get Back, McLennon: Day 1

Check out the other Get Back posts here.

Read this first:

I'm going through the whole Get Back documentary (so if you’ve watched a bunch of Get Back, this could get really repetitive for you) day-by-day, telling what’s happening and scouring it for anything that is McLennon. 

Take everything with a grain of salt. This is all speculation. But, hate to break it to ya... McLennon is real. 

I'm going bizarro. Let's get started.

[Ep. 1, 1:51]

Get Back Refresher (skip if you want)

Get Back has been edited from more than 60 hours of video and 150 hours of audio. Some of the bits have been edited, showing video that isn't part of the audio. We're gonna kinda roll with that, because there's nothing I can do about it. They said they did their best to have an accurate portrayal so I'm forced to trust it here.

Before the documentary really gets started, there is a 12-minute refresher of the Beatles' history from the Fete to the Hey Jude live performance in September 1968. It had been two years since their last live performance.

The Beatles enjoyed doing a live performance so much they decided to record their next album in front of a live audience. The recording would be a live TV broadcast. The album would be played all in one take, with no overdubs or edits.

Important Note:

It is my belief that John and Paul (actually, all of the Beatles, but especially JP) communicate, forgive and heal through music. They weren't playing together a lot, a lot (not like before) during The White Album and things were just messy.

When John and Paul play, they usually look at each other. They look at each other for minutes straight, with breaks to look at their instruments, distractions, etc. They always do if they’re in each other's line of sight. Eye contact and how all of the Beatles look and act while playing together will be a major part of these posts. 

I will also be scrutinizing how John and Paul look at George and Ringo, Yoko and Linda.

Day 1 (2 January 1968)

Dress rehearsal is planned for 18 January, live shows are planned for 19 and 20. The bugs will have to come up with 12-14 songs for an album in 16 days. Paul is the last to turn up. This is the first look we see between them.

Here are some angles of how they look at each other, including George looking at Paul and John looking at George.

And putting this here. What a fucking legend.

Paul "teaching"

When Paul is teaching a song, he goes into this teacher mode, similar to a boss babe mentality, but music-ier. Anyway, Paul goes into this teaching place, which is hard to get screenshots to properly demonstrate it. There's a lot of head nodding as if to say, "There you go! You're getting it!" A lot of enthusiasm, a little overbearing. But there's nothing distracting him.

And John looks at Paul;

And when John went to pull Paul out of it, Paul cracked pretty quickly.

These are two separate instances:

And then a little later (I really like this sequence):

This is how everyone is sitting. George is sitting on a cushion in front of Ringo's kit. It doesn't seem like Yoko is disrupting much, as Paul and John are sitting, idk, two feet apart?

I'm not sure if they choose just the footage of these two looking at each other, but it's everywhere.

The dry bun thing:

It's one of the times in their lives where they are not getting along. And they're still so clearly in love.

.....And that's everything for Day One! Day Two coming soon!

[xian1na]

buncha words about buncha spring animes

I've had a bit of a break from anime for a last couple of years but I spontaneously decided to watch some new things from this season and now have a burning need to share my opinions with strangers on the Internet. Enjoy!

Hell's Paradise (eps. 1-3) - I read the first volume of the manga some time ago and remember thinking it was pretty cool and could be even cooler animated. Lo and behold, here we are. Now, I have a bit of a problem with shounen anime. I used to gobble battle shounens up like they were spaghetti but I just don't enjoy them as much anymore. Still, this one looks like it could be a good fun. I love the creepy imagery and vibrant colours of the island, especially when contrasted to toned down colour palette of the first two episodes. I'm also excited for how the characters will not only fight each other but also the hostile environment. There could be some nice juicy drama in future episodes. I'm not entirely sold on the main characters on their own yet (I think of all the spring shows I've watched, they might be the least engaging leads) but I like them conceptually, so to speak - Gabimaru being a wife guy is very sweet and really humanizes him and Sagiri... well, I'm not entirely sold on her subplot but she's a sword chick. Love me some sword chicks. And I like her design, too!

My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999! (eps. 1-3) - I'm surprised how much I enjoyed this one, I'm not a big fan of romance, rom-com, slice-of-life, and so on. This show reminds me of Bofuri, or at least scratches some similar itches. See, I played one MMO game a lot when I was a kid (I still come back to it sometimes when I feel nostalgic) but I've never been particularly good at it. Seeing anime about people playing games in an unusual way, not power-gaming their way to the highest level but instead messing around with their friends just reminds me of good ol' times. That said, I enjoy other things about this series as well. For one, it's very funny. For two, almost all characters are terrible but in a very relatable way and I kinda love them. I'd like the romance to be mostly built on the characters' personal growth, I get a feeling it could be a very satisfying story if it goes that way. But even if it doesn't, it could still be a nice little series.

Oshi no Ko (eps. 1-2) - Man, watching that first episode sure was An Experience. We went from an old guy being creepy about teenage girls to this weird breast-feeding scene, then to some really interesting insights into idol industry (and show-biz in general) and THEN to the finale, AND THEN to what the actual plot will be? I'm still a bit on the fence to be honest but I'd lie if I said I weren't intrigued. I think the character writing and visuals are amazing. Ai's characterisation in particular was phenomenal. You know how you sometimes watch a series where all the characters talk about this one supposedly super charismatic and special person but you just roll your eyes because you don't see any of it? That is definitely NOT the case here. I couldn't take my eyes off her, there is just something so hypnotizing about the way she's animated. That said, I'm not a fan of humour and dialogues here. I don't like how everything is spelled out and nothing is left up for interpretation (I have similar problem with Hell's Paradise, by the way). But those are minor flaws and I definitely want to see how the story unfolds.

Heavenly Delusion (eps. 1-3) - Frankly, I think this the best show from this season that I've watched so far. The characters are likeable and they have a fun dynamic, the setting is interesting and it's presented very well (they're showing, not telling and all that), the dialogues are natural sounding and the visuals are gorgeous. There are some things I wish weren't here but I'm willing to look past them (at least for now) because the rest is so solid. So I say this is 'the best' show but is it my favourite? Hard to say. The thing with mystery shows like that is that it's very possible that once all the mysteries are solved, there won't be much else to enjoy. Also I'm a bit wary of where Kiruko's plotline is going. I really hope this series is good. Sadly, often anime that I think is going to be the best of the season doesn't deliver in the end and leaves me sulking and disappointed. That said, Heavenly Delusion is based on a manga and the manga is apparently good, so maybe all these worries are unfounded.

and finally Skip and Loafer (eps. 1-3) - I said that I didn't expect to enjoy Yamada-kun as much as I did so when I sat down to skip and loaf, my expectations were pretty high. I had to re-adjust them a bit though. From some screenshots here and there I'd seen before watching I expected a different kind of show, maybe a meaner one?But instead Skip and Loafer is very positive and cute. Both Mitsumi and Sousuke are very observant and empathetic characters and watching them interact with their classmates (and each other) is a lot of fun. I really liked the subplot with Egashira in episode 3. Egashira was kind of an asshole in episode 2 and when we see her again she's being kind of an asshole again but then she has this moment of anxiety when she compares herself with Yuzuki. And that by itself would be fine character writing but then Sousuke actually notices that she's feeling down and compliments her a little, despite what happened between them in the previous episode. It's such a kind thing to do and the whole show seems to promote this kindness and wholesomeness without being sugary sweet. In this bleak, dark, dark world something like Skip and Loafer is a real balm for the soul.

That's it for the currently running series. I hear there's even more good stuff though, so maybe I'll get around to it next week. I also started watching two older shows.

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (currently on season 1, prologue + eps. 1-3) - This, ladies and gentlemen, is my very first Gundam. So far I'm pretty into it. I should probably mention that I haven't watched Utena (yeah, yeah, I know, shame on me), so I only heard about similarities between the two shows (or rather homages paid by GWitch). So I pretty much just take GWitch as it is and don't think about wider context. I really like the characters so far. Suletta is a little ball of anxiety but what I really appreciate about her is that despite how shy she is, she's always speaking her mind. It's kind of inspiring, to be honest. I often keep my thoughts to myself even when I want to speak up because I lack confidence but I when I see Suletta I feel like I want to become a better person. This probably sounds very corny, or maybe sarcastic but I'm 100% honest right now. Miorine is also great. Based on her design I thought she'd be a quiet and withdrawn type but boy oh boy, she isn't that in the slightest. At this point I don't know what the main plot will be exactly but one thing I do know, is that I love these girls and I'm rooting for them, whatever their goals'll end up being.

Spy x Family (eps. 1-3) - I wanted to watch it when it was airing but first I missed one episode because I was busy, then the second one because I was tired and ultimately I missed the whole thing. Now that I'm in anime watching mood again I decided to give it another go. I'd read a little bit of manga before anime even came out (2 volumes iirc) so I'm not going in blind for the first 8 episodes or something like that. And I actually re-watched the episodes I've already seen. There isn't all that much I can say about these first three episodes, other than Anya is wonderful and the whole show's a perfect blend of funny and wholesome. Man, so many wholesome shows these days. I wonder if it's a good or a bad sign. Anyway, episode four is the interview in the school. I recently reread the first volume of the manga and was literally laughing out loud during these chapters so I'm curious to see how it was adapted.

That'd be it from me. Thank you if you read all my ramblings ^^ Sometimes writing down my thoughts helps me in organising them and even realising what they are exactly. And I think it's a good writing exercise, too, so I'll probably write another post like this next week. Until then!

[centrally-unplanned]

Now that I have finished* the fall crop of anime I was watching lets see how they turned out based on my initial impressions!

Call of the Night: 8/10 overall, met expectations. Consistently delivered on blending its ideological twist of night-worship with the more trad anime themes (Cult of Fun, The Gap Between People, etc). Ko & Nazuna are both delightful, Ko’s awkwardly blaise confidence & Nazuna adorable gremlin persona is a great combination, and I give the show 10/10 for Nazuna’s humanization over her arc & having real stakes driving the conflict. As expected for a show like this, it has a weak middle with some filler eps, one in particular that is very skippable, and it has a few dumb moments plus some inconsistent animation at times, nothing major though.

Lycoris Recoil: 6.5/10 overall, and met my expectations in a weird way. It did actually improve over its run, in particular its ‘slice of life’ scenes grew more balanced as the show progressed and had a lot of energy to them, while the confidence of its shot composition and commitment to fast pacing absolutely paid dividends. However it also decided to have a few Stupidest Plot Things Ever serving as the foundation for its conclusion, and its politics are just so tired it probably should have cut them, here it delivered worse than I expected via trying too hard for Drama. Overall it balanced out, worth watching.

Though let Chisato & Takina fuck already jesus christ

Isekai Ojisan/Uncle from Another World: TBD - the ‘*’ in my ‘finished’, Isekai Ojisan was continuing to to hold up great, even if its joke closet was getting a little threadbare, but this show has had the production from hell, and barely got out 7 episodes before calling it quits and delaying the rest till next season. Apparently it was due to Covid? Which, I mean maybe, I don’t think its a lie, but its 2022 and no other studio really had similar issues. Covid likely triggered a crisis but I’d wager bad & unprepared management was unable to handle the situation and blew up their team in the process, and the comments from insiders are suggestive of that

My Stepmom’s Daughter is My Ex: 4/10, a slow decline. No joke, this show had a lot a charm in its opener, two extremely confident protagonists refusing to step-wincest out of pride & baggage, it was funny and honest in a way that a lot of romcoms miss. Also Yume is hot. But it didn’t last long, side-characters started creeping up and none of them held a candle to the mains, and everything got bogged down in their far more tepid, stereotypical drama. I could edit a decent ~5 episode show out of this, but its not worth the bad parts.

Rent-A-Girlfriend S2: 2/10, my descent into madness continues. Idk, I feel this season didn’t even try, like it has all of the annoying habits, all of the cringe behavior by the main, but almost none of the insane brazenness that made me watch Season 1 through the eye-rolls. Chizuru continues to be a good character when the plot allows her to be, but that isn’t often and its not enough to justify it. I no longer feel like I am learning anything about ‘what harem audiences want’, since I don’t think harem audiences want this anymore. 

I think that was all of my ‘currently airing’ shows, going to start Cyberpunk: Edgerunners but that doesn’t neatly slot into a season. Overall a pretty decent one! I will give Ojisan a pass, what we have is good, Call of the Night is great, and Lycoris Recoil is fine too, not a bad record.

[feuqueerfire]

Love In The Air Live Blogging

As a maker of terrible decisions, I’m starting watching this on the day a 10% assignment is due (which I’m not done) and 3 days before my midterm (which I haven’t started studying for).

I usually do my best to avoid spoilers but not for this show lol I know like 80% of what happened so far (released up to Ep 11) to prepare myself for the characters (specifically Payu and Prapai) and their questionable actions. Also, I’m slightly obsessed with Sky from these clips.

Ep 1 (Nov 2)

that random guy’s popcorn falling everywhere rip 

girl we’re flashing back three whole weeks?

oh this was shown on GMM25?

lol I read like 1 chapter of this translated on Wattpad before giving up because the translation was so bad and it’s funny to see it play out because I know Rain’s inner monologue at this part 

D: is Payu pretending to not remember Rain? No way he forgot him right

loll esp when I’ve been spoiled that Payu fucked with Rain’s car early on, I guess that’s right now

lmfaoo Rain batting his eyelashes at Payu and pleading with him to fix his car

“If you’re trying to seduce me, do it better next time” lol I do see how he came to that conclusion

Surprisingly, I do see how Payu came to the conclusion that Rain was coming onto him lol but him not stopping when Rain asks him to is a bit... but I see why Payu was like “stop playing hard to get” because if your idea of consent was just from TV and books, I can see how it’d fall into that

Payu’s voice reminds me of War’s

Anyway, this was played off as silly and cute enough that it was fine and didn’t make me emotionally uncomfortable, just raised like a few ! in my brain. like yeah I’m side-eyeing Payu’s sleeziness but I’m not opposed to smiling at their interactions lol

Cast Reaction: It was mostly them ganging up on Noeul as Rain lol They also seem to have fun watching scenes they weren’t in 

I do wonder if it’s better if I watch the show first so that these faces are just mostly the characters to me rather than watching the show and having it be “X playing Y” in my mind. I can’t really do that wish people I’ve watched before or know a lot about outside of the show (like so many GMMTV actors lol like I was watching eclipse and in my head it was First playing Akk rather than just Akk), so this is an opportunity that I get for rookie actors/people I haven’t watched before. But on the other hand, I’ll watch like 5 eps a day and finish early and have to wait for ep 13 otherwise so...

Ep 2 (Nov 2)

hm the first 4 mins is just repeat of last ep last scene

Ep title: I hate Payu (Storm) and I’m not talking about the weather

I do like fun titles hehe

I can never feel comfortable while watching these kids pretend to drive in a way that’d get them in an accident in 3 seconds even though i know there’s no car accident in the show

The bathroom neck hovering/kissing goes on for so long goddamn but it was fun if I thought 0 thoughts about it. Payu instructing Rain...

Y’know it’s interesting that Payu doesn’t like ill-mannered people or swearing because I feel like on a surface level that’s more of a uke trait. I guess it also helps that his other traits like being quite domineering and doing racing help counteract that also

lol was that indicating that Rain got hard

Rain: Will you help me? Sky: Isn’t that a given?

ahh racing here and in Cutie Pie looks so fun, wish I wasn’t such a scaredy cat with even just regular driving

Aw, I’m already ready to beat Sky’s ex’s ass but that still hasn’t happened by ep 11 lol

There’s so much repetitive footage from ep1 so far goddamn

lmfaoooo sorry this spanking is killing me from laughter and awkwardness i can’t watch this

rip rain getting yelled at

i’ve seen gifsets of this before like 2 months ago when it was released but rain getting angry bc Payu called him stupic and then kissing him is still funny

is Payu’s lip bleeding 

Rain is actually so cute, rolling around in bed like noo why did I say I’ll make him head over heals for me but then trying to quickly compose himself when he hears the knock

lol I’ve seen clips of this where Rain does everything to avoid eye contact over the breakfast table

Why do so many BLs have the seme/top joking that the uke/bottom has a small dick

What does forgiveness from Rain’s parents joke mean?

Rain gets so worked up every time and my guy has no forethought. Make him fall for you in a month

“Eh, hold on. Why do I feel like I’m dancing to P’Payu’s tune?” loll

Cast Reaction: Fort dying when Rain kissed Payu was hilarious, he was like whyyyy why did he do that? To me, it was cuz Rain jumped through a few hoops like “I don’t want him to call me stupid” -> “He won’t call someone he likes stupid” -> “I’ll make him fall for me” Also Peat guessed Payu wants to say hello to Rain’s parents and Fort guessed he wants to ask for Rain’s hand and everybody laughed when Payu said forgiveness

I want Boss to be my girlfriend.

Ep 3 (Nov 3)

killing me that it takes Rain that many days and hints to realize he can use his phone to contact Payu

Aww Rain got his feelings hurt being confronted with the fact that he’s not the first to wait like this for Payu 

uiii Rain being gutsy telling the server he’s hitting on Payu. lmfao Rain begrudgingly giving Payu his bowl and chopsticks 

loll the “replace stupid with cute” moment

The humour and Rain’s overreaction reminds me a lot of Japanese BLs like Kieta Hatsukoi tbh like my guy had cute cute cute! pop up all around him and then had to sit down in the middle of the street

Me watching this the day before my midterm (27 hours left...) and Rain’s getting scolded for being irresponsible and not using time wisely regarding school work ummmm why would you do this to me. Although I find the prof so annoying like submission due date at 8:30am what a joke and why is there no late penalty handing in? Profs like that are soooo annoying like “if I extend it for you, how many would I have to extend?” like bruv give people some wiggle room

Aw, poor Rain, he’s in first year right? Tough times, uni was so different than high school for us and it was a wild time to come being one of the better students in your class to a place where pretty much everybody is as good as you or better. I wonder how much this is worth lol cuz I’ve gotten used to taking Ls on stuff that’s worth 10% or less, it’s the 20% or greater Ls that hurt now but even then, gotta get over it quick or else you’ll fail the next thing

ahh Payu coming in and kneeling down and opening his arms for Rain and Rain going into the hug so cute T.T and comfort T.T

Payu being kinda stern with him but also giving him comfort T.T

bruhhh so cute, Payu going over again and just tucking Rain’s head again his stomach T.T

lol so is the timeline: Payu helped Rain with the tires -> Payu gets pic of Rain from the senior and realizes it’s guy he helped -> fucks with Rain’s car before the faculty dinner -> Faculty dinner

Fave Scene: The 2 hug scenes where Payu comforts Rain after first coming to see him + after when Rain’s drying his hair. 

Cast Reaction: Just Boss and Neoul this time. Funny to see Noeul go “oh P’Saifah is cool” -> Boss looking at him like hmm -> Noeul picking up on it and going haha P’Payu is super cool! because Rain would never pick up on it lmfao

Ep 4 (Nov 4)

Finished my exam, fucked around a bit after coming home and now onto the next ep!

oof Payu telling Rain he shouldn’t come here anymore 

P’Som: I was recently told a kindergartener’s more creative than me! And look at me, I’m still fine!

Sky understanding what’s going on with Rain

lol Saifah also being like lol who exactly is smilled Payu? The boy or youuuu

Sig calling Rain “Cloud Jizz” kills me, I wonder what the thai literal meaning is - i think it’s a pun on Rain

I know everyone’s like let’s see stuff outside of college!!!! but I really enjoy it when being a college student is actually a part of the plot. Rain being academically irresponsible and paying for it last ep was great. Them working hard for multiple days and staying up the day before an assignment due and then just going straight to sleep is also so relatable. My midterms just ended tonight so I’ve also been having a Fun Time and I’ll be sleeping so well tonight but after that I’ll have to catch up on 2 weeks of work on 2 different classes that I’ve neglected cuz that material won’t be on the midterm rip

The sound in this is so bad, why can I hear the clothes and the leather and everythingggg lol

I think a bl should show us con-somno. love mechanics had the con-noncon fun ending, we should get a fun con-somno that’s appealing but doesn’t make me feel weird. Also, Payu lightly slapping Rain’s stomach to wake up/punish him for pretending... haha

Rain gets to hear Payu call him smart boy

lol Saifah interrupting them

Payu left compliments for Rain in his final project sticky notes! That’s so cute

Rain and Payu both checking their phones incessantly throughout the ep waiting for the other’s texts is cute

Why is Rain waiting in the rainnnnnn, get inside boy!

very jarring cut to get to the bathing 

the kiss sounds are too loud lol but people like it i think

the holding hands beside Rain’s head is cute and then Payu guiding Rain’s hand below... yeah

condom under toy car

Teaching Rain ahh

at 49:00 when Payu pushes Rain’s head back, nice

hand holding really is my weakness i think

lmao i had to mute, that’s a lotta noises

dang, Payu was like k lemme hear the “Rain belongs to P’Payu now” It’s stuff like this that makes me realize that this would work for me soooo much more in the written form when I can’t actually see or hear anything

Fave Scene: Payu going easier on Rain doing his work at the garage once Rain says he just wanted to see Payu’s face. Rain realizing Payu wrote the sticky note compliments on his project. Payu pushes Rain’s face back down during the NC scene 

Cast Reaction: Boss was already dying during their little kiss when Rain goes to see Payu after finishing all his homework lol they both passed away watching the NC scene

I realized Tonnam who plays Sig also played a similar character in Cutie Pie, the wacky schoolmate in the friend group. I’m curious to see him in Triage where he apparently plays a doctor (Dr. Sing? or smth) and he’s also in a main character in Wish You Luck 2023 which is like a post-apocalyptic or sci-fi BL

Ep 5 (Nov 5)

so many gratuitous shots of Payu lol from him waking up to the exercising 

ep title: Calm Before The Calm hmm

I do hate it when parents let strangers into their child’s room without the child knowing or giving permission

girl not the rectal suppository 

fun to see Rain - Payu - Rain’s mom/Mama shenanigans 

Kinda funny that people dubbed Payu/Boss VegasPete’s lovechild and Payu is referred to as the devil here because I’m pretty sure Vegas is referred to as the devil in KinnPorsche novels

“Don’t refer to yourself as Rain anymore?” hmm I hear a lot of poms, did Rain go from Rain -> Pom as first person singular pronoun

girl, no way Payu’s gonna let Rain down right? He’s just unnecessarily fucking with him before saying let’s be byfriends or smth 

loll yeah “Now it’s my turn to pursue you” laughing headass after he made Rain cryyyyy

ew they’ve really got tongue and everything going

naurr Rain’s old crush Ple wants Rain’s new bf Payu’s number. lmfao and possibly her brother likes him too, rip Rain

ahh the pun works in so many ways “Damn, these fruity siblings!” because Ple and Som are apparently fruit names in Thai and fruity because the brother likes a guy

loll Sky coming out of the theatre and seeing PayuRain. “Oh, Rain. P’Payu, too. You’re holding hands.” this was so funny here

Rain coming out to Sky is cute and then him and Payu ganging up like “who’s Ple... when did you come here without me...”

I don’t really know what people by when they say someone has the relationship glow (like sometimes ppl will look at idols and be like hmmm they’ve been glowing and happier lately, wonder if they’re in a relationship) but this episode Payu has soo been that like when he was at work + now literally humming while making food as Rain sleeps in his bed lmao

I’ve felt this a few times but so many scenes/shots just feel too long like I wonder if it’s because I’m watching the uncut version but let’s cut a lot of these scenes by 10-30 seconds bruv

Payu looking at Rain, then looking back at Saifah and shaking his head, saying “too many assholes” about whether he’ll take rain to the next race was kinda attractive hmm rewatched it like 5 times

Rain hitting Payu for teasing him counter this ep: so many

oof, the meeting each other before while younger was tryna get into the uni and older was an attending student trope. reminds me of SOTUS. also Rain’s lucky triangle was placed there by Payu, cute

Fave Scene: The Sky seeing them at the theatre + lunch scene. [TODO Why can’t I find gifsets of those scenes? no way people aren’t giffing it right] That few seconds of Payu shaking his head and saying “too many assholes”

Cast Reaction: Boss hiding behind Noeul once really did a lot for my brain.

(29m) I for a split second thought he had a bow in his hair... my girlfriend!Boss agenda 

Ep 6 (Nov 6)

oh yeah, i hadn’t realized the mafia twins from Don’t Say No were already had shown up for a sec in ep 5. i only became aware when i was watching tiktok people’s ep 5 thoughts and somebody mentioned it and even in this ep, do they appear for just 1 second to wave?

lol the state of love interests in BL is so shit that I was pleasantly surprised by Payu not resorting to violence or provocation at the race (which is his workplace) despite the shitty rich kid. He did provoke a bit with words toward the end but like deserved

They’ve started translating mia to darling instead of wife lol

cute to see Rain tryna get Payu to smile and not be mad at the situation

Stormy at office -> sunshine in garage

aw Rain worried about Payu. Payu finally being serious and putting his hands in his pockets was kinda attractive

Rain believing in Payu winning so hard. It’s cute to see how strongly Rain is on Payu’s side this ep

Rain being forward and horny in this NC scene, so true. Payu turning Rain around and pushing him against the wall ahh Rainnnn. 

I’m having the wildest time watching this NC scene lmfao usually I’ll like it and watch it fully or mostly (depending on how embarrassing it is) or I’ll skip most of it or watch on a small screen. This scene I’m not skipping anything because it’s just like not awkward or weird but also, it’s too much, so idk where I fall because I keep being like ohhh I like this move and then being like ewww tongue swiping lmfao I watched the tongue swiping twice because I couldn’t believe my eyes the first time and physically, involuntarily jerked away both times bc it’s so ew to me but I’m also so incredibly fascinated like damn they did that

Rain’s iconic “This is also riding” line

wait Rain kissing Payu’s forehead, that’s suchhhh a seme to uke/top toward bottom thing! Rain’s been very forward and more dom than subby in this NC scene but that really sealed the deal lol I love light switches even though Mame doesn’t seem to do verse like at all 

laksdf Rain going back to his cute bubbly self in the next scene is so fun

Bold Rain is sooo fun “Someone accused me of seducing, so I’m doing it for real. So? Does it work?”

Ah, the kidnapping

Fave Scene: The NC scene just because of how I liked parts of it a lot and was icked out by parts of it; usually NC scenes lean more toward one of the other. Also, bold Rain in the scene was great

Cast Reaction: Always fun to see Boss shrivel up and be cute about the makeout and NC scenes. hilarious to see him say “It’s not me, It’s Payu!” about the scene where Payu tells Rain to take off the suit or whatever before the race (12:30m). Seeing all of them literally pass away while watching the NC was hilarious lol, after it ended it looked like all them came down from a roller coaster. lmfao watched the longer part of them watching the NC scene on a diff youtube clip and they just screamed and yelled the whole time, so funny; Fort was right saying that was tiring. 

Ep 7 (Nov 7)

The kidnapping’s kinda just meh, like sure. It’s like the ep 10 conflict w the gun in Bad Buddy like why can’t we keep shows that have mostly internal and interpersonal conflict that way without throwing in a random gun/kidnapping for some plot. 

It wasn’t that cool either cuz it was just Payu going and getting beat up (which makes sense lmao he’s not a trained fighter nor a mafioso). kinda interesting once again that they didn’t make him sooo cool and better than everybody that he can take all of them. Rain on the other hand was really ballsy though, probably too much considering he was tied up and could do nothing 

lol Rain’s iconic “*kick!* only P’Payu can screw me!” and Payu’s big ass grin when Rain walks back to him afterward is cute lol

lol the telling friends about their relationship was funny when I watched clips of it and it’s still funny now. I’m gonna ignore how Sky didn’t have permission to say Rain’s dating someone nor did he say it’s okay for Payu to say they’re dating in front of all his friends

ah, we’re getting some info about Prapai and Sky current situation

lol Prapai bothering Payu until Rain gives Sky his number. sigh don’t even have energy to be annoyed at Rain giving Prapai Sky’s number bc later on he’ll give him his dorm keys for fuck’s sake

oh yeah I knew Payu tampered with Rain’s car. It’s one of the early ep things that I’m just: ignoring. “You won’t love me after learning the truth?” well, i’d certainly reconsider

Fave Scene: The telling friends scene I guess

PayuRain story is done. Overall thoughts is that I thought I’d have to ignore more things than I did lol; like it’s just the very first night, the bathroom, the spanking, and the car tempering that are questionable and those happened really early on. I don’t like that people say that’s just their brat/tamer dynamics because you do need to agree upon the dynamics first. Anyway, still fun dynamic if you don’t think about how uncomfortable it is.

I don’t get people saying this had no plot because ? Character growth and growing into a relationship is like a fair plot for a BL, esp because so many bls are already like that. so i don’t get it.

Enjoyable but not a fave.

The Prapai/Sky bits in this ep were giving me such mixed feelings cuz it’s actually really appealing to me but like, even as a lover of fucking rancid dynamics, Prapai being a creep to a traumatized abuse victim is just a lot. like some of the spoilers I’ve heard... I like Sky so much though, I just want better for him

Ep 8 (Nov 8)

I would’ve been way more eager to start this if ep 13 didn’t piss everyone off. ahh i’ll try to enjoy it as much as i can bc i think it’s a very interesting story and dynamic still

Unwanted tally of Rain being a shitty friend: leaving Sky during the race (and not even wondering what happened to him), giving Prapai Sky’s number

Watching this is like I really don’t know how to feel. Fort was probably Payu-level teasing with the “ooh yknow what you have to do to leave” but Sky took it literally cause of the past abuse T.T Can’t even watch the sex scene without thinking of how Sky’s gonna feel hurt by it and how he feels coerced into it

repetitive PayuRain scene, what was the point

“They’re all assholes. You’re also an asshole” “Shitty things always happen to me” T.T Sky

Somehow Sig’s outbursts are funny but P’Som’s aren’t

While watching the cast reaction, I understood something. Sky says “oi! Why’s this like the book?” when Prapai first called him because he was reading Love Sky, his own novel lol

Rain, since you called, at least tell Sky that you give his number to Prapai!

Prapai ambushing Sky outside the uni and getting Rain to leave them alone is a level of sleaziness that I can still enjoy and have fun with without being too upset about it

I am soooo normal about Sky giving Rain a punishment... it’s not a doozy at all

lol Prapai’s assistant is great\

Fave Scene: Sky - Rain - Prapai scene in front of the uni, I enjoyed the humour in what Rain thinks is happening vs what’s actually happening. Also Rain punishing Sky

Ep 9 (Nov 8)

finally watching 2 eps in the same day again. midterm season ended, i’m a little caught up on homework and i gotta make sure i get to ep 13 by thursday 

Prapai also bi/pan and also there’s something kinda ew about how his siblings and he discuss sleeping with people like that’s your siblinggggg but Pai holding both their heads and vibrating was cute and sibling-like

nooo even the mention of ‘love’ taking Sky to a bad place

sky canon nipple piercings... but also apprehension bc idk where he got them, considering his past trauma and abuse

This sort of stalking and sleaziness from Prapai is slightly off-putting but I could probably put up with it, esp once Sky decides he likes him

“If you’re really my friend, never mention that son of a bitch again, got it?!” aw Skyyy

Sky nightmare :( but then Sky unconsciously smiling at Prapai’s texts. Reminds me of The Eclipse with Ayan’s nightmares and Akk’s smiling at Ayan’s text

Has P’Som been useful in any way ever? Annoying ass character

Dang, does Sky have nightmares every time he sleeps? Makes sense why he always seems to stay awake when his friends come over for all-nighters and naps

How the fuck am I supposed to root for Prapai when he keeps getting new SIMs to get around Sky blocking him and texting him so much that he worsens Sky’s breakdown over his ex and his abuse. Seeing Sky being so upset about these texts and calls is just agh

Rain strike 3: giving sick Sky’s dorm keys to Prapai despite Sky having gotten mad at him for giving Pai his phone number + insisting times he doesn’t like Pai

A taking care of sick boyfriend (to be) is cute if yknow... it’s not so greatly against the sick person’s wishes

Cast Reaction: Fort and Peat both looked really good in this reaction lol Also Fort’s reaction was kinda fun cuz I think he’d sometimes get confused lol and also he was actually sad at the sad parts. I think it was fun cuz it seemed like they were also watching it as the audience instead of as the actors

I don’t even know what to say like why couldn’t it just have been like regular levels of creep and more of us seeing Sky fall for him and saying no to guard his heart. Why the hell would I wanna support Prapai after his relentless texting and calling made Sky’s breakdown worse and had him yelling while clutching and pounding his bedsheets.

I don’t like when the situation is just main character’s love interest has made him unable to escape 

Ep 10 (Nov 9)

I’m really excited for this ep because I think I’m gonna love it and my favourite scene that initially made me very interested in the Sky/Prapai arc is in here.

Also, I’m fully intending to ignore nearly every red flag of Prapai in this ep unless it’s wayy too big, so. 

Prapai doing his work while Sky holds his hand in bed, that’s really cute

“So what do you want?” “You know what I want.” “No, I won’t have sex with you P’Prapai” “Then you don’t know what I want” alsjdf

ahhh cheek kiss

“Will you stop me?” “If it’s important to Nong Sky, then I won’t” okayyyyy

“Then I should get a reward for my good deeds... I wanna see your lovely smile” line is much cuter and life changing in the tiktoks but is cute here too ahh

Sky smiles so wide and pretty :D that Pai has to take a moment and talk to himself like “Looks like your no-strings-attached lifestyle is coming to an end Prapai” is sooo relatable

Prapai should’ve just jacked off in the bathroom before showing us this whole turmoil cuz apparently not assaulting someone is a lot of hardwork

Sky’s reaction at wanting Pai to kiss him was cute tho

hehe Sky’s delight at telling Pai that Payu took Rain and him took this restaurant before

Natsu ahh I really hope she’s in Just Say Yes and the twins Past Love In The Future or whatever show

please the “I’ve stopped fooling around with anyone since that night” “I’m not that dumb” “okay once... alright twice... okay three time max, I swear. And I haven’t slept with anyone in the past 2 months” scene was cute and Sky liked it lol

lol P’Joy gossiping about Sky and Pai

ahh Pai kissing Sky’s shoulder

oh yeah i love Pai in Sky’s clothes like he changed into that when taking care of Sky too. It also makes me wish Pai was younger than Sky cuz I think it’d play off well 

is Sky writing in the diary that’s gonna come into play in ep 12

Drawing Wind on Sky’s palm and saying “I’m claiming ownership” laksdf;lkajsdfl;kjds 

the dinner convo where they talk about their families is cute 

“I take care of you so well but I’ve got to sleep on the floor. I’m just a servant” “You do it on your own free will. Too bad” so true, don’t let Pai make you feel guilty Sky lol

Fave Scene: The 2 scenes where Sky thinks where Pai wants sex from him but then Pai says a different thing are great but also I think the whole episode is delightful fr, my fave ep so far

Cast Reaction: Fort is sooo adorable in this lmao he was gushing throughout the whole thing, so relatable

Ep 11 (Nov 9)

Oof, the finale coming out in 12 hours bc I didn’t time this correctly lol I have love in the air blacklisted on here now bc I don’t wanna be spoiled for ep 13 hmmm I think I’m gonna watch this, watch ep 12 immediately after waking up and look at tumblr and stuff then, and then avoid tumblr and twitter until I can watch ep 13 at like 5 after my lecture. hm

I’m gonna not think too hard about Pai’s actions in this ep too cuz I wanna love it

I am strictly ignoring how I feel about 1) Pai telling Joy that he and Sky are a couple knowing that she’s a gossiper and 2) getting a keycard for Sky’s place for himself without Sky’s permission

Sky waiting for Pai to come because he said he would T.T sleepy Sky letting Pai change his clothes T.T

lmfao dream makeout session; lotsa BLs have those these days - The Eclipse my dear

“I might be a psychotic stalker in your eyes but please understand how worried I am for you.” well, he’s self-aware 

Aw, Sky trying to get Pai to not be mad at him

yknow this is like the complement to ep 6 Rain showing how he worries about and cares for Payu and now, Sky showing he’s also interested in and likes Pai 

akk Sky accidentally bragging to Rain about Pai

alskdfj Sky testing Pai by making him do so much cleaning and telling him to go home if he doesn’t wanna do it and that he wouldn’t put this much effort for a one night stand vs Pai being like no, I can handle it. Yknow Pai is extremely dedicated to pursuing Sky, including driving to him and helping him with his school or home chores, helping him when sick, etc. If he didn’t have an undercurrent of creep, it’d be soooo good but not it’s just good

loll Pai’s tryna explain himself about wanting sex but not doing everything for the sex

good ass sex scene, felt emotionally cathartic and was so intimate. also got a Sky -> Prapai forehead kiss ayy also Sky clutching Pai’s hair was haha nice

cute to see them having pillow talk and Sky divulge info about himself 

we get canon nipple piercing mentions but at what cost? not seeing them but getting trauma lore T.T  

Sky sniffing Pai’s shirtttt

how could they Rain this dumb, esp when earlier in the ep Rain knew that Sky was talking about Pai being great

ahh Pai is so into ownership, it’s a lot like him asking for a hickey so that Sky can claim ownership...

Fave Scene: Sky questioning when Pai will get bored of him + Pai explaining himself (and not doing everything for sex) before the NC scene + the NC scene itself because of how romance and emotion driven it was. Also liked the general way Sky was more receptive to Pai and also reciprocated 

Cast Reaction: During the NC scene, Fort tried to cover his eyes, then Peat’s eyes, then his eyes again all within a second lmfao. Also Fort mentioned the hair pulling >:) they said it’s a very romantic NC scene compared to ep 8 and yesh, I agree

Ep 12 (Nov 10)

I... don’t know how I’ll feel about this ep, I’ll be honest. I’ll try to do the ‘ignore pai’s questionable behaviour’ thing but will it hold up? Lemme rewatch the ep 11 NC scene full of romance and love and care before i start this lol

loll Pai having fun with Sky worrying about his hand being cut

ew why is Pai talking about Sky being a gentleboy in the streets, a freak in the sheets to Payu and Saifah D: i’m skipping over Pai talking bout him

Sky/Pai went from cute and endearing in eps 10 and 11 to just cringe this ep T.T don’t do this to me tf is this “that’s my wife, not my boyfriend?

“I can skip morning class” lol

5 seconds of Leon but at least he got like 2 lines similar to Natsu unlike the twins getting just the wave

Pai, why didn’t you remove yourself from the person earlier T.T

“I saw your boy [...] The one you let me borrow” I’m gonna kill Gun, I’m gonna kill this guy, I’m gonna throw up

fuck, I feel bad for both Pai and Sky cuz Sky’s been like waiting for this and worse whereas Pai doesn’t even know what’s going on

fuckkk “you pick up when it’s not my number?”

oh fuck Sky being mean as hellll to get Pai to give up fuckkkk

“He doesn’t love me. He just finds me unusual” 

of course pai is in the freaking room lmao i was like hmmm did he get in with the key, then saw the dark house and was like oh, only to realize that he pops up in the clip

what a distressing scene rip there are so many things I feel where it’s like Pai was seen by Sky being too touchy with some other dude (and he should’ve detangled himself earlier but was he really at so much fault? he didn’t do anything but nicely establish some boundaries) --> Sky ghosted Pai and was very mean to him when breaking up on the phone (and it wasn’t right of him to do that but also it’s due to his past trauma and insecurities) --> Pai going to Sky’s dorm and reading his diary (bro is like fuckkkk boundaries but also him reading out loud Sky’s entries was insane and I think Fort did well) and then idk how to feel about Sky’s love confession

“I wonder where you got this idea that I’ll tire of you one day”

they’re really running with the Rain Dumb As Rocks thing but like lol the attempt at 2 convos at once was funny

Fave Scene: Pai during the phone call to Sky (esp the “you pick up when it’s not my number?” and the tears at the end of the call) and the way Pai was speaking during the diary scene. Also Pai kinda playing with Sky during the papercut scene

Cast Reaction: Boss and Noeul were there this time. Lots of talking about character motivations and Fort cried and Noeul got teary-eyed

That wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be; I’d seen a lot of complaints so I thought it’d be worse but it was just kinda sad distressing because they were both hurting and then hurting each other because of it and I can empathize with both.

Okay I was nervous about this ep because of certain spoilers and because I heard some general dissatisfaction but when watching, I could see where both characters were coming from and why they were reacting the way they were. There was something slightly off about the episode to me (was it disjointed writing? maybe iffy editing? idk) but I thought it'd take me back to how I felt about ep 8/9 Pai but nah, the characters' actions and progressions made sense to me based on who they are so far

I thought it was good at showing the sadness of the situation like Sky's insecurities and past experience make him ghost and lash out at Pai on the phone and Pai is understandably hurt and and although the breach of privacy by just going in Sky's room and reading his diary is a lot for me, I knew Pai was like that from ep 8 so lol

Also, I’m becoming more impressed with Fort’s acting because I didn’t think much of it before but in ep 10 when he was upset with Sky for the panic-inducing call and this ep when he was angry (”...you pick up when it’s not my number?”) and sad during his breakup call with Sky were idk good at showing intense but subdued emotions. him reading the diary entries out loud was wild though like it was making me nervous and I thought he did well. I think he’d just do better in a role that’s not a “dom, older dude” because he’s better when he’s not tryna pull off the sleazy domtop thing and he was giving me ‘younger seme’ vibes in ep 9 and 10.

Also, people have been saying Sky in the diary scene was just supposed to be not crying tears but rather yelling and hyperventilating etc the way he was but I wish the show actually showed that.

Ep 13 (Nov 10)

Okay, last episode came out like 9 hours ago, time to watch it. I’m glad I waited to watch it instead of as soon as it came out though because apparently it’s extremely triggering and they do a weirdly realistic job portraying Sky’s abuse and SA. So. I’m nervous about that. 

People have said it’s in general a strong episode (even if they have gripes about the portrayal of SA)

flashback to how Sky ended up with Gun?

holy shit why was the scene with Sky and Gun in their underwear with Gun smoking so beautifully shot and framed

fuck fuck fuck those cigarette burns D: i love ao3 fics with that trope but i can’t believe i’m gonna remember this when i read it next time

the way the sound of the lighter keeps going even after Sky wakes up from the nightmare

T.T Sky calling Pai to seek comfort

FUCKING FUCK YOUUUU GUN AND HIS FRIEND TALKING TO SKY AT THE RACE ILL KILL YOU

OH MY FUCKING FUCK THEY TALK TO PAI ABOUT “HIS CUTE BF” 

SkyPai are cute enough that I even rewatch their kissing (I actually really like their kissing) 

I’d heard about the wiping but klajdsf Pai wiping Sky’s stomach with tissue afterward asklfksdjf

PaiSky are sooo cuteeeee T.T

The background music is too loud when Sky surprises Pai at the race but it’s such a cute scene, I’ll forgive it

...fuck Sky’s going to the car by himself at the race where Gun is 

oh shit the clicking of the lighter is gonna be an insane thread in this ep i guess, Sky heard that as soon as he went to the car and it alerted him to Gun

oh my fucking god, this is so... Gun’s friend is convincing Pai to give up his room for the night because that’s where they’ll Sky... 

Pai: “If you do illegal stuff in my room, I’m gonna kill you” <-- I’m gonna fucking hold you to that Pai

Gun sewing doubt into Sky’s mind about Pai liking him + the “Earnestness is boring” when i get my hand on youuuu

Rain, just call Payu to tell him, don’t leave Sky alone ahh i’m so nervous

“A guard says P’Pai wants you to wait at the condo” ...a guard says? ...is this the same condo as where Pai took his hookups that he’s given up for the night?

okay i knewwww they were gonna try to make Sky think Pai did this to him. They’d mentioned “you can bet your lovers” at the race and I thought maybe that’s why Gun shared Sky with others but apparently he doesn’t even race. + They didn’t break into Pai’s room or anything, they waited for Sky there, making it seem like it’s all planned. fuck them so bad i haaate them

The music is too loud bruh

fuck Gun’s just stacking lie upon lie

Pai you raise your voice at Sky one more decibel (even though I don’t think he’s accusing Sky of anything) and I’m shooting you

Pai fucker startled even me by screaming fuck you for real the fuck

I need so much more anger and violence from Pai you don’t even know. 

Sky talking badly about himself “I’m trash. I’m damanged good.” after telling Pai what Gun did is actually making me lose my entire mind i’m so fucking sad

Pai’s subdued tears Twice because Sky can’t cry is really so. 

Won’t lie Pai’s “I should’ve met you sooner” is once again making me wish Pai was younger

“We won’t ever see him again.” Is he dead? Special episode we better see news of him having gone missing or smth. I wish I got to see Gun and all his friends in jail or dead with my own two guys but I guess it’s better than TharnType where Lhong walks free (and is forgiven by Tharn’s brother) and also nothing happens to the people who actually raped Earth’s character

I wish there was more of a mention of Sky’s future healing journey plans than just Pai being a good boyfriend and remembering an actor’s quote

I wanna see Sky meeting Pai’s familyyyyy

Fave Scene: The scene of Gun smoking while Pai was happy lying behind him filled me with so much dread; loved the lighter sound motif throughout the ep as well. Liked seeing Fort’s subdued tears and sadness about Sky’s situation. 

A good finale, although I wish the parts after Sky told Pai what happened were a bit different? I wish we got something more about plans for a healing journey being Pai being beside Sky. Also, I wanted to see Gun die with my own two eyes.

Beautifully crafted episode,

Overall Thoughts:

RainPayu - PayuRain story is done. Overall thoughts is that I thought I’d have to ignore more things than I did lol; a few things happen early on and we can ignore that + the fact that there wasn’t consent/discussion for a brat/tamer dynamic and just enjoy it - still a fun dynamic. I don’t get people saying this had no plot because ? Character growth and growing into a relationship is like a fair plot for a BL, esp because so many bls are already like that. so i don’t get it. Enjoyable but not a fave; I think the fact that I got into PaiSky the very next day also made me kinda forget about this pair.

PaiSky - They took up much more of my brainspace than PayuRain, both in good and bad ways. Pai was shitty in the first few eps of their story (mans is fr a stalker, doesn’t take no ew) but he’s also so good for Pai once he stops with the creepy shit and I have to be like... whelp, if you like him. I watched ep 10 and 11 being like “I shall ignore all of Pai’s questionable behaviour” and it’s definitely enjoyable that way, I liked ep 10 the best. 

The show is known for the NC scenes and I enjoyed both pair’s second NC scenes. PayuRain’s was just wild and I was intrigued, even though I had negative physical reactions a few times. SkyPai’s was soooo romantic and I’m floored by the fact that I enjoyed watching them kiss, what about their kisses was different than others’? 

I like Fort being an adorable cutie, I wanna see him play something younger (I think Pai as a younger seme would’ve been sooo good here). There were some production issues, like the sound was just shit and the editing for the second half was kinda worse than the first half.

Rating: 6.5/10

OG Teaser/Trailer: I remember when I saw the OG SkyPai teaser come out on r/boyslove lol It was interesting and then I heard nothing about it for several months. The trailer is interesting bc so much of it is exactly like in the actual show, there are some differences as well. Also, Pai did as much office work this trailer as in the whole of LITA.

Official Teaser/Trailer: I didn’t find either of these to be super engaging but maybe I would’ve been more excited if I hadn’t watched it already lol

Tiktoks: 

Ep 1 edit

Ep 1 Morning after

Ep 4 bro interrupting

Ep 5 Sky knows they’re dating

Ep 7 sky and praprai storyline starting (compilation from trailers)

ep 8 sky angst :( 

Ep 9 prai practicing sky’s name + following Sky around (bg: lowkey)

ep 9 prai taking care of sky

Ep 9 prai flirting w sky (bg: left and right)

bossnoeul behind - peatfort first being supportive and then done

Ep 9 sky angst (bg: don’t need nobody) 

[FAVE] Ep 10 Pai wants to see Sky’s smile as a reward (bg: fall in love with you)

boss sulking 

ep 11 sky being cute while sleep (bg: Khudaya Khair)

ep 10  Pai wants to see Sky’s smile as a reward

up to ep 11 Pai and Sky meaningful moments edit (bg: mirrorball by Taylor Swift) 

Ep 10 sulking Pai + shoulder kiss

Ep 11 Pai taking care of sleepy Sky (bg: eenie meenie miney mo - Justin Bieber)

Ep 11 Sky asking Pai if he’ll get bored of him 

Ep 12 sad hugging after diary scene 

Ep 12 diary

Ep 12 "i want you to like me” scene before party

Ep 12 Pai wondering why Sky’s ignoring him vs how he’s looking at his boytoy

Ep 13 Sky with Gun vs Vegas with Tawan parallels... 

Ep 11 Pai “I don’t cook I don’t clean” vs “Yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning”

Ep 12 Pai being upset at being ghosted (+ when Sky finally picked up his call)

F4 had Fort and also, people finding about First being in it

Ep 10 cute moments SkyPai, ah my fave ep

[Fave] Ep 13 Pai’s “hm? hm?” and Sky asking if he can love Pai and why Pai’s crying 

Ep 13 rebellious badboy era Sky (bg: Untouchable)

[mlobsters]

supernatural s1e11 scarecrow (teleplay: john shiban, story: patrick sean smith)

(this is a rewatch so spoilers abound)

this episode was my first spn hey i know you - which was a piggyback on an xfiles hiky for an actor that was in the killing as well, triple threat. and ofc william b davis (who is the cigarette smoking man in xf) that's in this spn episode too, i may have screeched when i saw him in the credits

also have a feeling in this rewatch the brother angst is what's gonna cause me the most strife. i was so, so exhausted by that plot mechanic by the time i was solidly reaching the 2/3 point of the series. i do wonder if when it gets really heavy or repetitive, if i'll be able to power through. i won't be surprised if i can't. anyway, onwards to the first spat

the teaser music was very on theme xfiles-y, but then it shifts to eye rolling (for me) territory and you guessed it, jay gruska. there was a vibe, and then it was gone. so in this clip, i'm digging it (it has some of what i call an xfiles sound) and it's tense and present feeling. but then once the... urgent? music starts when they start to run with these really flat bland sounding strings.. it just feels so. cliche and boring and sitting in the background. to me, it's actively taking away tension instead of adding it. like maybe if the software they were using had better strings or it was mixed differently, it would be better. or, you know, had recorded actual strings (but i can also imagine the limitations with 22+ episode seasons on a relatively low budget b level network show so). anyway, #choices

you know what is also #choices, me wasting 30+ minutes trying to find actual details on the budget for the show and getting nowhere, other than people saying it was low 🥴 this has some general speculation of $2mil per episode but also details that they don't release cost and revenue numbers. i imagine s1's budget was different from s5

could the beds BE any closer? i know i commented on that the first time through too. and also figure it's so they could get this shot of them both sleeping and then pan around to sam sitting up in bed but it's funny regardless of silly production reasons! gotta be in literal arm's length from your brother who you have very normal and chill feelings about

also like, sam shoulda been smacking the shit out of dean to wake him up after he realized john was on the phone. HELLO what's the point of being in arm's reach if you don't use the arm to reach out and slap them when needed haha

as ever just thinking how potentially uncomfortable it would be to sleep with the amulet on, but also the commitment of wearing it, even sleeping, from 12 years old to 31. damn. now i'm sad again lol. so like, totally understand why jensen was glad to get rid of it - it was big and he mentioned he forgot to swap out to the stunt one and chipped his teeth with it smacking him in the mouth. maybe if had been less giant and heavy, they could have reincorporated/had a real fix-it for it. womp womp

SAM We’ve been looking for you everywhere. We didn’t know where you were, if you were okay. JOHN Sammy, I’m all right. What about you and Dean? (At the motel, DEAN is waking up.) SAM We’re fine. Dad, where are you? (DEAN sits up in bed.) JOHN Sorry, kiddo, I can’t tell you that. SAM What? Why not? DEAN Is that Dad? JOHN Look, I know this is hard for you to understand. You’re just gonna have to trust me on this.

taking a moment to address how deeply unsettling and weird it would be to have your dad who you have been living and working with forever to ghost you with no explanation for what.. 6 months now? pilot was set in end of october, this ep is april

SAM You’re after it, aren’t you? The thing that killed Mom. JOHN Yeah. It’s a demon, Sam. SAM A demon? You know for sure? DEAN A demon? What’s he saying?

so i had thought he knew about hunting before, but refreshed my memory that he didn't here last time it came up, but also just thinking about how mary never told him about the demon and the deal - at least when the time was approaching. she didn't know what the demon wanted, or that she was gonna end up dying in the process, but damn. give your man a heads up that a demon is coming inside your house. i can also see why she might not, but ugh. anyway, plot needs must

JOHN I do. Listen, Sammy, I, uh…I also know what happened to your girlfriend. I’m so sorry. I would’ve done anything to protect you from that. SAM You know where it is? JOHN Yeah, I think I’m finally closing in on it. SAM Let us help. JOHN You can’t. You can’t be any part of it. SAM Why not? DEAN Give me the phone. JOHN Listen, Sammy, that’s why I’m calling. You and your brother, you gotta stop looking for me. Alright, now, I need you to write down these names. SAM Names? What names, Dad—talk to me, tell me what’s going on. JOHN Look, we don’t have time for this. This is bigger than you think, they’re everywhere. Even us talking right now, it’s not safe. SAM No. Alright? No way. DEAN Give me the phone. JOHN I have given you an order. Now, you stop following me, and you do your job. You understand me? Now, take down these names. (DEAN grabs the phone from SAM.)

man oh man. it's a good thing john has dean so thoroughly trained to fall in line like an actual soldier because i'm right there with sam, it's a really tough pill to swallow without any explanation as to WHY they can't be involved. it sounds like writers who haven't decided exactly why, other than we just need them to stay apart for now :P so frustrating!

DEAN Dad, it’s me. Where are you? (…) Yes, sir. (…) Uh, yeah, I got a pen. What are their names?

dean's face when he goes from frustrated and concerned, where are you? to "yes, sir" 💔 yet again, i made gifs.

DEAN Dad doesn’t want our help. SAM I don’t care. DEAN He’s given us an order. SAM (firmly) I don’t care. We don’t always have to do what he says. DEAN Sam, Dad is asking us to work jobs, to save lives, it’s important. SAM Alright, I understand, believe me, I understand. But I’m talking one week here, man, to get answers. To get revenge. DEAN Alright, look, I know how you feel. SAM Do you? How old were you when Mom died? Four? Jess died six months ago. How the hell would you know how I feel?

that was a low blow, sammy. not cool. so dean deflects with something else that is also logical

DEAN Dad said it wasn’t safe. For any of us. I mean, he obviously knows something that we don’t, so if he says to stay away, we stay away. SAM I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it’s like you don’t even question him. DEAN Yeah, it’s called being a good son!

i don't think sam's right in tearing off to track john down, i don't think it's right that john is keeping them still basically entirely in the dark, but i also don't think dean's right in the blind faith/following bit. everyone is wrong 🎉 but again, dean was raised like a literal soldier. that following orders is life or death. it's not being a good son, it's being a good soldier. which should be separate things! and i don't know the nuances of military command, but honestly, questioning the guy in charge seems like kind of a thing you need to do sometimes too, which maybe means the only choice is to bail

ANYWAY

DEAN You’re a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don’t care what anybody thinks. SAM That’s what you really think? DEAN Yes, it is. SAM Well, then this selfish bastard is going to California. DEAN Come on, you’re not serious. SAM I am serious. DEAN It’s the middle of the night! Hey, I’m taking off, I will leave your ass, you hear me? SAM That’s what I want you to do. DEAN Goodbye, Sam.

dysfunctional relationship written all over it, that couple that is always breaking up and making up. hard to watch. and this is just a tiny sliver of the iceberg o'brotherly angst to come. but also reminding myself that a) sam is only 22 and i think he had some flexibility to be childish in a way that dean never did. and i think it's pretty immature to just bail on the car and walk because you're disagreeing over doing what dad wants you to do. and we're establishing that sam (and dean) can be as stubborn as a mule. and b) i'm feeling the weight of the brother conflict from the entire series but trying to watch this with less baggage. so, chill out, friend

another little moment i could gif but won't waste my time again on, when sam says "that's what i want you to do" dean looks genuinely upset/taken aback briefly before he locks down his expression and says goodbye

i have got to finish this episode. it's like 45 minutes of thinking and rambling to watch a couple minutes then i'm like welp it's too late at night to finish it, guess tomorrow. x5

just call him!

they were testing my suspension of disbelief when i first watched this. that open, straight ass road, sam surely wasn't walking backwards long enough to not have reasonably been able to see her before getting right up on her, yet doesn't question how this girl just appeared at his feet. anyway, hi meg. (rip nicki aycox, passed away at 47 in 2022)

MEG You could be some kind of freak. I mean, you are hitchhiking.

there's that freak label again

that said, they had this all happen so flash bang boom and she's off with shady van guy and not trusting him but also being funny and cute, i can see how the logistics of her appearance maybe could have been distracted from

her big smile is kinda scary, i dunno if that was intentional lol. but padalecki did good in this, very natural. good stuff

s1e11 / the x-files s5e9 schizogeny

i'm doing it again. looking up for details on the xfiles episode that had a very similar looking orchard to see if they're the same 🤦focus! look at baby face dean's cute little scowl. and those apparently are hazelnut trees. shrubs. something. i had to confirm that apple trees really don't look like this so i don't know why they used it. kim manners was with xf at the time but didn't direct schizogeny (credited as producer). anyway! focus did not happen! it's been 15 minutes!

do it, babes!!! foiled by meg

DEAN You know, my brother could give you this puppy dog look, and you’d just buy right into it.

cracks me up that dean talking about sam's puppy face is canonical, to me it doesn't read as puppy much unless he's making it at dean like in home and faith - otherwise just kind of earnest and empathetic when he's dealing with other people. but also, dean, not gonna help your case not coming across as a creeper to these people by saying that lol

the sheriff literally driving him out of town

forgot how much he utilized the short over long sleeve look

MEG I love my parents. And they wanted what’s best for me. They just didn’t care if I wanted it. I was supposed to be smart. But not smart enough to scare away a husband. It’s just…because my family said so, I was supposed to sit there and do what I was told. So I just went on my own way instead. I’m sorry. The things you say to people you hardly know. SAM No, no, it’s okay. I know how you feel. Remember that brother I mentioned before, that I was road-tripping with? It’s, uh, it’s kind of the same deal. MEG And that’s why you’re not riding with him anymore? (SAM shakes his head. MEG raises her beer bottle.) Here’s to us. The food might be bad, and the beds might be hard. But at least we’re living our own lives. And nobody else’s.

it feels a little on the nose to have her story be so similar, but also can imagine in this situation it's like music to sam's ears to have someone who would understand so well where he's coming from

DEAN I’m actually on my way to a local community college. I’ve got an appointment with a professor. You know, since I don’t have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research. SAM You know, if you’re hinting you need my help, just ask. DEAN I’m not hinting anything. Actually, uh—I want you to know….I mean, don’t think…. SAM Yeah. I’m sorry, too.

DEAN Sam. You were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life. SAM Are you serious? DEAN You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy. SAM I don’t even know what to say. DEAN Say you’ll take care of yourself. SAM I will. DEAN Call me when you find Dad. SAM (sadly) OK. Bye, Dean.

ok i was not expecting to end up crying over this episode. dean acknowledging how he wished he could stand up to john like sam does, and was so sweet and forthcoming about being proud, and sam was ready to hear it, goddamn. but he wasn't ready for dean to let him go

MEG Who was that? SAM My brother. MEG What’d he say? SAM Goodbye.

sammy 😭 pushed so hard to forge off on his own do what he thinks is right but maybe he wants dean to rein him back in. and also want to acknowledge jared hit all the right emotions with that phone call with dean and this after. i think he can do the quiet moments well already

i love that they got william b davis for this little part. he brings all the creep factor especially for xfiles fans

dean's belly getting a surprising amount of screentime in s1

imagining kim manners, well if they won't let the boys have umbrellas, i'm getting a cool shot with these rando characters with umbrellas!

MEG But I don’t understand. You’re running back to your brother? The guy you ran away from? Why, because he won’t pick up his phone? Sam—come with me to California. SAM I can’t. I’m sorry. MEG Why not? SAM He’s my family.

❤️ i know that's right. also, "he's my family" not just "he's family" and with the softest expression. don't need to think or care about banging to ship this, they're just out there doing this stuff and being this way about each other and i eat it all up

DEAN How’d you get here? SAM I, uh—I stole a car. DEAN Haha! That’s my boy!

even more proud

DEAN So, can I drop you off somewhere? SAM No, I think you’re stuck with me. DEAN What made you change your mind? SAM I didn’t. I still wanna find Dad. And you’re still a pain in the ass. But, Jess and Mom—they’re both gone. Dad is God knows where. You and me. We’re all that’s left. So, if we’re gonna see this through, we’re gonna do it together.

my cup runneth over. of course, still have the hill to climb for sam to want to stay with dean for the long run, but. ❤️

DEAN Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.

such an ass, he was just as mushy literally the day before LOL but the d in dean stands for deflect :p

good grief, man. this show! agh. i'm again reminded why it sucked me in. the overarching plot and monsters of the week are like, whatever, but the sam and dean of it all is so good. and what they established in these early days carried me through 15 seasons where i got increasingly frustrated with all of the non-sam and dean aspects, and overused sam and dean conflict, etc. truly a feat

and we find out meg is a baddie with her phone home to azazel via bowl o'blood

[clandestine-j]

MY BRINGERTON HOT TAKE

which isn’t really all of that hot. I’m going to sum up a little but i want to cover it all-ish. i really want to talk about polin but i don’t want to make a bunch of post so i’m going to toss everything into one. 

Season 1: I really liked it. I liked the subplots of this season better. I did like Simon & Daphne...aside from that one ugh scene that I had to FIGHT so many people about because they didn’t believe it. I can only remember Simon’s speech to The Queen as a stand-out relationship moment but the flirting was cute and all. 

Season 2: I liked the main couple better but the side plots of season 1 more. I’m glad I wasn’t on social media when season 2 first dropped because it would’ve been a headache. I know people saw Kate & Anthony got less time together BUT I remember them so much more and I can re-call various of scenes with them more than I can our S1 couple. The bee string with Kate, Anthony telling her to tell him no before Daphne came in, the game of pall mall and etc, I just felt more for the couple. 

Side note, also viewing S2, I like Daphne more as a side character who gives advice than a main lead. 

I’ll agree Kate should’ve gotten some more depth added by the end but I wasn’t unhappy (I didn’t even realize this was an issue until I joined fandom stuff because I just loved her so....)

All I’m going to say about Edwina is she’s not some evil bitch. Home girl is out here fighting in the streets but I liked her and I don’t mind ep 6 being mostly about her because LMAO SHE was the one getting married. SHE was the one who trusted her sister. SHE was the one who watched her sister and fiancé making love to each other standing at the alter. SHE was the one who found about the money last, SHE’s the one who was told there weren’t anymore secrets. 

So, yeah.  

Onto the meat of my topic! POLIN, it’s under a read more because there will be some book spoilers. 

I feel like I need to address a few things first. 

I know all of the characters in the show and in the book are mainly rich, privileged, spoiled, entitled people. I know most of their problems will be first world problems. I’ve accepted it that, I’ve accepted that I’ll have to relate the character flaws and ‘whinying’ and I say this, because it ties into my post overall but i’m going to roll my eyes if a rich character feels listless compared to their family because, well, this rich person is human and being rich doesn’t prevent them from feeling. 

TV POLIN:

Honestly, I’m here for it. I’m going to eat, no crumbs left. I can do friends to lovers. I got all of those ‘OOF’ feelings whenever Colin would say something sweet to Pen and then follow it up with “HEY BESTIE!” I like how Penelope is all heart eyes in a romantic way and Colin is heart eyes like ‘i love my little sis so much’

so, Pen as LW in the show is MILES extra than what she did as LW in the books. I was EEK. I’ll admit, ya girl doesn’t know how she’s gonna comeback from this. I mean, her apologizing, telling the Bridgeton family and etc all has to happen but I’m scared for her to come out as LW.  It’s life or death. In the books, that C girl finds out and they do whole reveal but with the Queen in it....hmm...maybe...they let the Queen in on it? Let her do the reveal, maybe she’ll be impressed that it was PEN of all of people who did it. Idk, I’m here for the romance. 

So for the romance. I don’t know how Colin & Pen will handle LW, so I won’t touch but this is what I will touch. HOT TAKE. DON’T HATE ME.

While Colin does need to say sorry and prove he’s sorry, I can’t do an entire season of him groveling at her feet while she plays hard to get. I say this because, while Colin was tactless and etc, I do get where he was coming from when he did it in two ways, one, the peer pressure and drinking with the guys and etc! But even more than that (two) as of right now, he really wouldn’t dream of courting of her. I think I took that scene in...is based off my real life, growing up, I had a guy bff and everyone would hit me with you like him and all and I’d be like NO, that’s my BFF. 

It’s obvious to see that Colin DOES care about Penelope, he values her, he looks out for her, he’s open in a way with her that he isn’t with his own family. I don’t think he meant it in a mean way but in his mind, they’re asking him about his bff, someone who could be like a little sister to him. I don’t think what he said is worth making him grovel for half a season. He does love Pen, just not in the way we want.

I think what I would like, is Colin starting look at Pen in the way society would sort of look at her. He isn’t supposed to be as comfortable he is with Pen, how he treats her like friend, how he doesn’t really dance/talk with other women outside his family. How, in his mind, saying what he said is harmless because everyone knows that they’re good friends but the issue is, men and woman *aren’t* really suppose to be friends in this era, at least until they reach a certain age. I’d like someone, like Violet or Daph or even Fran to have that talk with him. And maybe once he starts looking at her through that lens, he starts seeing her as a *woman* and not as Pen. 

I’d even like an episode or something of him, maybe, possibly, for whatever reason of him helping Pen find a boo and just harshly inspecting them all and he’s complaining about it at the breakfast table and everyone is gets it and just giggles and laughs at him.

OR 

Maybe a scene where someone is talking about the different types of loves, the different ways it can hit you and as the scene is going on and that person is talking to Colin or around, he see’s Pen and what they describe truly hit home for him and he starts to get it. And then he freaks out and panics and is like OHSHITIMINLOVEWITHPEN and he’s running around, freaking OUT. 

I’d like some real courting. It was too rushed in the books. This is a TV series so, give me the courting. Give me starting to court and taking a bet on how long it’ll take everyone to figure it out. 

Onto my next bit, which is more book related. Julia rushed Colin’s emotional journey too much. Which hurts me because I liked that! I like a guy from his period being that in touch with his emotions. Which leads me to my next point, I get it. He’s a white boy with money and is entitled. He’s liked by everyone and compared to Pen he has a lot going on. AND STILL.

The scene in which he’s being open and vulnerable, trusting her and she shits on it. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why she’s saying it, it’s just that it was resolved too easily for me. He doesn’t matter if he didn’t love her, it doesn’t matter if he’s more well liked. When you’re being open with someone and they shit on your feelings right after, when you’re putting your trust in them, that hurts. 

Which leads me too, I hope the show goes more in depth on that emotional journey. All aspects. Does he feel like he can’t go to his older brothers? Does he feel like he can’t be open with them like he was with Pen because on some level he knows it’s a petty problem (which, I don’t think it is, it’s a human thing.), is he scared of getting the same reason. How does their father’s death impact him? (And all of the siblings honestly.) In the books, there’s a throw away when he says he isn’t tall and brooding. It shows what type of person he thinks women are into and that he doesn’t see himself that way so he’s putting himself down. Why does it bother him to be known as charming fool and why would Pen see that as a compliment? (In the books, he mentions whistle down saying he was charming and it made him feel some type of way because is that *all* he is, is that the only way people see him.) I just think a few of things could be used in the show to go a little deeper into Colin, because compared to Pen, he hasn’t had that deep dive yet. 

And to transition to home girl, it’s funny, they don’t communicate GREAT as in not yelling but I like in the books they tend to get the problems out, right the and there. It might translate differently to the scene but I like the no-nonsense stuff. 

And to say, my girl Pen gives at good as she gets when given the chance. In the book and we’ve seen this in the show. I think Penelope needs to work on ownership most of all. In the books, LW wasn’t a big deal, LW wasn’t horrible and picked on mean people. In that sense, her being LW isn’t that big, but the SHOW OH BOY THE SHOW. 

Guys. Home girl fucked up. I’m rooting for home girl but she fucked up. 

[gunsatthaphan]

🥺 

[mamamilki]

More Steven HC’s

(Ep 5 spoilers)

Fluff, some smut(he is a bottom), angst, all of the above im in my feels…

Parings: Steven x you(no mentions of gender/name)

YO THEY DID NOT JUST KILL MY BOY LIKE THAT BRO, IM GOING TO GO FOR KEVENS THROAT MAN HOW DARE THEY JUST DO THAT TO THE MOST INNOCENT MF MAN. ANYWAYS IM SO DAMN SAD AND PISSED HERE ARE SOME HEADCANNONS FOR HIM😭

Steven for sure smells like lavender. He is a calm and chill type person and I was thinking what else is calm and chill. Lavenders idk why I thought of a fucking flower but hey, the smell is so calming so why not.

“You know, Steven you smell like lavenders” you sat up not leaning on his shoulders anymore, Steven looks double takes from the television to you “e-excuse me?” Steven was caught off guard before you nod leaning forward towards his neck taking another sniff before you sensed Steven stiffen quite a bit, backing away hastily might I add “holy shit I’m sorry, that must’ve been so weird for you mate! You smelled calming and I just couldn’t help myself—“ you kept on rambling before Steven quickly grabbed you and gave you the best hug you’ve ever gotten in your many years of living. “I like the way you smell too.” He whispers softly in your ears before snuggling his face in the crook of your neck.

Steven adores wearing Cardigans, I saw this on TikTok it’s actually hilarious cause I can see it. Maybe when you randomly come over to hangout with the lad, you’d barge in to him wearing them, with the whole mom burrito wrap and everything man.

“Stevie!!” You entered the flat of your lovely man seeing him staring at you with wide doe eyes frozen like a dear in headlights…wearing a beige cardigan wrapped like how mothers in shows wear them. “What in the fuck are you wearing.” You nearly ran towards him before circling him like for a while. Before you let out a small giggle, that giggle leading to a full on laughing fit “SteHEehEhehHEHEHEVEN AHHHHHAHAHAHAHHA” you start kekwing while Steven stands still pouting giving you a sad look he huffs slightly before gently slapping your shoulder “that’s not nice..” you wipe a tear away from your eye as you hugged Steven “I adore it on you, you look amazing my lovely man” he blushes at the praise.

Speaking of praise, we all know this mf is either a switch or a hard bot I CANT HELP IT, HE IS SO SUBMISSIVE AND BREEDABLE im not in my right mind :) . He would whine and beg to finally get that last tick he needed to climax. A lot of whimpering, and begging, and some crying maybe??

“Please…p-please! I’ve been a good b-boy ngh~~ ahh!” Steven was sprawled out on the bed with little beads of sweat on his forehead, his hair a mess as he stuffs his face in his pillow since the pleasure is too much for him. He would roll his hips and whimper (LIKE THAT CAR SCENE IN EP 2) your name over and over for you to finally make him cum. He thrives on your praises “you’re such a good boy Steven!” He’d nod his head frantically “o-only good f-for you…” you’d bounce on his hard dick making you both moan loudly for each other.

Whenever you guys get into an argument he’d try to fix it as soon as possible, you’d yell at him and he pouts at you trying to not cry (like the gif)

Steven shakes his head wildly “n-no! I didn’t do anything! I-it wasn’t me!” His wide glossy eyes lock in with yours as you glared at him absolutely tired “if it wasn’t you, who was it in the camera footage? Huh?” Steven runs up to you “I swear! I d-didn’t do that at all!” You were upset with Steven because you saw him almost bash someone’s head in at his job, you groan as you looked back at the nearly crying Steven, his hands were both in a tight fist in front of his chest, you felt horrible “Steven. I’m sorry.” You gave him a sad look before looking down at the floor “You should tell me what’s going on, please I’ve been with you forever.” You gave him a kiss before sitting on his lap

You and Steven would go out to karaoke and will sing your lovely hearts out, rarely you guys will take turns and when it’s your turn to sing he’d focus on you with heart eyes.

“Boy, you got me hooked onto something who could say that they saw us coming? Tell me do you feel the love?” You were to into the music to see Steven staring at you like how a kid stares at a mountain full of candy, he smiles with a pink tinted face thinking how lucky he is to get someone like you. Until you finally noticed you stopped singing “you alright, love?” He snaps out of his trance before nodding “yeah! Yeah! No I just got distracted that’s all!” He smiles before you continue singing.

Terrified of you going to the journey with him and Marc, he is aware you are able to protect yourself but still. He’d get worried but that worry disappears when he sees your fight.

You quickly ducked before punching the shit out of a dude who tried to kidnap you “touch me again, you’ll lose that fucking arm.” You glared at him in front of his face, Steven watches in awe as the man ran away before making his way to you “That was amazing! Love you were beautiful out there!” You gave him a soft smile before grabbing his hand “let’s go! Less talking, more walking!” You both were a match made in heaven, at least that’s what Steven thinks. You both are so lovely together it’s crazy. I wish I was with someone 😪

Anyways, You’d put Marc in his place if he speaks up to you. Idc. I know I said this is a Steven head cannon but I must include the big daddy in here.

Marc would take over as you were in the middle of talking to Steven before you also paused “wait a minute, where the hell did Steven go?!?” Marc would gaslight you and prob get going on the mission or say something snappy, that wasn’t going to be on your watch “AH UH! AINT NO WAY YOU IGNORE ME LIKE THAT.” You pull Marc by his ear before he slaps your hand “OW, what was that for?!?” You glared at him “for ignoring me. Do that again I’ll be the one to fuck you up and give you to Harrow myself understand??” Marc gulps audibly “yes…understood.” He leads you to where ever you guys are headed to safely.

Nah cause I’m having a lot of fun with these HC’s anyways if moonknight doesn’t revive Steven somehow on the next ep I may just go and protest in front of Keven Feige’s lawn.

[chocolatemilksmoothie]

Reaching Out

my heart. Once again toh season 2 gives us another amazing episode! let's do this

the cold open was so short and it made me go oh. We're in for some Feelings aren't we

loved the detail of Luz having an electric bug powered phone charger. resourceful!

I thought it may be Camila's birthday but that seemed way too simple. Yeah

As usual, Luz projects and tries to keep her mind busy when something is wrong

And the fact she's trying to get the door working that same day... she wants to see her mom so bad

"that'll work great when birds try to fly away with me" KING OH NO

Surprised Hunter got a penstagram before Luz did. like she has her phone of course but it doesn't have penstagram

"are you good now?" ashjakdh Luz ily

speaking of which: Hunter's account I love him so much lmao he's learning to type a lil bit faster. that selfie is killing me

Eda can tell immediately something is wrong. so can most people really, Luz wears her heart on her sleeve even if she tries to hide it

the jacket awww

Luz looked so Tired this episode, which is understandable

lmao is that a signed copy of a book by Darius?? the eye roll??? and then he has it destroyed I NEED to know more about these two asap next ep better give me something

Mittens wants to kick some ass not join a coven, daaaad

it's cool we've been getting a glimpse of the characters' parents when they were younger! last week we got Willow's dads and next week we'll get more Eda

Odalia looking impressed, Raine and Eda being in love in the background and of course, Darius booing. I'm cackling

and so, the dad related talk hits Luz quite hard in this particular day... so here she comes to help break the rules

we also got a confirmation Eda knows the Blights, which I could've guessed but still

I loved the twins this episode they actually look dorky they're so cute and supportive

ED KEPT THE BAT FROM SEASON 1 good for him

Edric focus wasn't something I expected but boy am I glad we got it. Eda once again adopting children and teaching them the ways of wild magic

"Miss Eda" I love him

Eda can control the harpy transformation so well now! u go girl!!

addressing the B plot since we're at it, we didn't get that much new info since the warden didn't know much. the Day of Unity keeps getting more and more ominous

Belos trying to get rid of ALL magic is this what we're getting at? I can see it

the animation for the action this week! stellar as usual. Loved the fighting/getting ingredients montage

Amity understandably is a bit upset at Luz for how strange she's been acting and refusing to tell her what's wrong

*wins belt* "I already have one" *leaves*

glad that Amity started getting through to her dad this episode. He is quite distant and just like Odalia has been pretty bad and demanding towards her, but it seems he might start paying a bit more attention from now on, little by little

ok ok ok this whole conversation under the Grom fight Tree was so beautiful and heartfelt I absolutely loved every second. it was under the GROM FIGHT TREE Imma go cry

the way Luz tries to dismiss it as oh it happened a long time ago it's fine but it doesn't have to be. doesn't matter how long ago it was, it's ok to not be ok sweetie. the voice acting was so good too ugh

Harpy Eda is taller that's so cool

"I WANT A T-SHIRT TOO" same girl

between "my student/child" and "Edalyn's kid?" I love how we all agree Luz is Eda's daughter too

So the glyphs do what you want them to do, I was wondering how she gets them to go in a specific shape or direction that's cool. it's like they can listen to you

beautiful ending. I noticed the balloon Amity made kinda looks like the vase Camila put her flower in awww

Absolutely loved this one. The cast and crew are ON FIRE every single week I am grateful