#i was waiting for the achievement in game ‘You killed God!’ but then my mans is like you can’t kill god. idiot.

[hopelessromantic-ghost]

that’s my mans 🥰💖

[tossawary]

I'm just letting "Bleach" play in the background while working on other things, but every once and a while, I look up at the screen in honest surprise. When Ichigo and friends go to the Shibas to get into Seireitei, so they can find Rukia and save her from execution, the Shibas are explaining how their firework cannon works and Ichigo basically says, "Wait, how do you channel spiritual energy?"

Made my brain go "?!?!?!" Ichigo is INVADING SOUL SOCIETY and HE CAN'T EVEN CHANNEL SPIRITUAL ENERGY. He's such a hothead! People in Soul Society are used to people looking younger than they are, so they're probably assuming Ichigo is older than he is, and I NEED them to get more context for this hothead (15-16 years old and just learned to channel spiritual energy yesterday), so they can properly go, "What the fuck."

Which may happen? Because Ichigo will INTRODUCE himself to anyone who asks. "My name is Kurosaki Ichigo and I only trained for ten days with Urahara Kisuke," he says to the Squad 11 guys. ICHIGO?!?! Don't tell them your NAME?! If you manage to break Rukia out and run away, they'll be able to FIND YOU and your FAMILY in the living world now? (Okay, to be fair, I think Renji and Rukia's brother already know his name and they definitely know what town he lives in.) Does Urahara KNOW you're telling random people his name? What if they go burn down his shop and try to execute him next? (Good fucking luck to those soul reapers trying to bring Urahara in, honestly, but Ichigo doesn't really know that.) Urahara has KIDS, man.

(While trying to get his soul reaper powers back, Ichigo assumed it would be easy to fight Urahara because he "wasn't a soul reaper". Urahara showed off his zanpakuto and I'm pretty sure that Ichigo STILL doesn't know that Urahara is a soul reaper / was a member of Seireitei, because he apparently at no point seriously asked what Urahara's deal was?! I think Ichigo might still think that Urahara is, like him, a "normal person" who just happens to have spiritual powers.)

Ichigo is so lucky that he's like that fucking video game meme. "Wait, how do I channel spiritual energy again?" -> Ichigo killed his first enemy! -> Ichigo is on a rampage! -> Ichigo has achieved god-like power! -> "Never mind, guys, I figured it out."

[stuckinapril]

Do you have any poetry recommendations? The poem poll made me realize that I like. ONLY know Iraqi poets. Like the only non-Iraqi poet I can name off the top of my head is Robert Frost

i'm literally hooked on poetry. even on days where i can't sit down to read a book, i try to consume at least one poem a day bc it keeps me sane. it actually does. i recommend signing up to one poem a day newsletters--those have been a game changer for me. as for recommendations, my favorite poems change every week, but current faves (whose authors i regularly go back to/are a good starting point) would be:

elegy for my sadness - chen chen (Who invented the word / “ennui”? A sad Frenchman? / A centipede? They should’ve never / been born. They should’ve seen me / in Paris, a sad teenage / exchange student. I was so sad / & so teenaged, one day my host sister / gripped my hand hard & even harder / said, SOIS HEUREUX. / BE HAPPY. & miraculously, / I wasn’t sad anymore. / All I felt was the desire to slap my host sister. / See, I was angry in Paris, which is clearly / not allowed. One can be sad in Paris (I was) / & one can be in love in Paris (I was not), / but angry? Angry in Paris?")

a pity, we were such a good invention - yehuda amichal ( "A pity / We were such a good / And loving invention / An aeroplane made from a man and wife / Wings and everything / We hovered a little above the earth")

like a small cafe, that's love - mahmoud darwish ("I say to myself at last / Perhaps she who I was waiting for / was waiting for me, or was waiting for some other man / or was waiting for us, and did not find him/me.")

bible study - tony hoagland ("Who knows, this might be the last good night of summer / My broken nose is forming an idea of what’s for supper / Hard to believe that death is just around the corner / What kind of idiot would think he even had a destiny?")

mother and child - louise gluck ("Why do I suffer? Why am I ignorant? / Cells in a great darkness. Some machine made us; / it is your turn to address it, to go back asking / what am I for? What am I for?")

america, america - saadi youssef ("We are not hostages, America, / and your soldiers are not God's soldiers... / We are the poor ones, ours is the earth of the drowned gods, / the gods of bulls, / the gods of fires, / the gods of sorrows that intertwine clay and blood in a song... / We are the poor, ours is the god of the poor, / who emerges out of farmers' ribs, / hungry / and bright, / and raises heads up high...")

the duino elegies (seventh elegy respectively) - rainer maria rilke ("Not only the devotion of these unfolded forces, / not only the paths, not only the evening fields, / not only, after a late storm, the breathing freshness, / not only approaching sleep and a premonition, evenings... / also the nights! Also the high summer nights / also the stars, the stars of this Earth! / O to be dead at last and know them eternally, / all the stars: for how, how, how to forget them!")

the endlessness - ada limon ("How was i supposed to feel then? About moving in the world? How could I touch anything or anyone without the weight of all of time shifting through us?")

psalm - adonis ("Open my memory and study my face beneath its words, learn my alphabet. When you see foam weaving my flesh and stone flowing in my blood, you will see me. I am closed like a tree trunk, present and ungraspable like air. Thus I cannot surrender to you.")

the war works hard - dunya mikhail ("The war continues working, / day and night. / It inspires tyrants / to deliver long speeches / awards medals to generals / and themes to poets / it contributes/ to the industry / of artificial limbs / provides food for flies / adds pages to the history books / achieves equality / between killer and killed / teaches lovers to write letters / accustoms young women to waiting / fills the newspapers / with articles and pictures / builds new houses / for the orphans / invigorates the coffin makers / gives grave diggers / a pat on the back / and paints a smile on the leader's face.")

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group A, Round 1, Poll 4:

Propaganda under the cut

Azula

Personal gain and because she was gaslit herself.

100% pure girlboss. So good at lying and manipulating that the magic human lie detector can’t figure her out. Gatekeeps her father’s “love” from her brother

Azula was considered a prodigy in firebending at a young age. And she manipulates and plots to get what she wants.

They (gas)lit stuff on fire, gatekeeped the avatar from the Fire Nation, and girlbossed all the way into insanity

Akane Kurashiki

Zero Escape spoilers! Akane Kurashiki is dead. Died in an incinerator as a child. But she's right here, isn't she? She's talking about mummies and the Titanic and I'm holding her in my arms. But also she's Zero, mastermind who trapped us here and threatened our lives. That guy literally just exploded. But Akane couldn't have done that, she's so sweet and she's so scared. Also she's dead? But wait, she's right here, and she has a fever again.

lied to a group of ppl including her childhood bestie so they'd enter a death game she planned, she's so funny. also later planned another death game to save the earth etc

GASLIGHT: - Lies to everyone and pretends to just be an innocent quirky girl when in reality, she is the mastermind behind the situation everyone has been put in. - Pretends to be sad and concerned when the bastard who almost killed her pretends to do a heroic sacrifice to get everyone's sympathy. - Pretends she's put bombs inside everyone's stomachs. Really, she only put bombs inside the people she wants revenge on. - Pretends that she and her brother aren't related. - Erases her fiancé's memories and makes him forget he proposed to her so she can go to the moon and stop the outbreak of an apocalyptic virus without him getting in the way. - Puts herself into a schrodinger's cat situation where she's both living and dead until you decide what door to walk through. - Manipulates her way into a Mars mission program. - Makes a guy think he is 45 years younger than he actually is. - Pretends she is going to stab two people to force them back in time. - Manipulates a child into participating in his father's research so he can act as a spare if necessary. GATEKEEP: - A psychic who gains near omniscience in some circumstances, but refuses to explain snything unless it suits her plans. - Says ""Only God decides who lives and dies!"" But she kills several people. Perhaps only God and Akane Kurahiki decide who lives and dies. Or maybe they're the same person? - Manipulates a woman into breaking up with a man so she can kidnap him and bring him to the moon. - Refuses to let her boyfriend meet her when it doesn't suit her plans. - Kidnaps two women and puts them into a coma for 45 years. GIRLBOSS: - Very willing to kill to achieve her goals or get revenge. - Queen of random trivia. Will info dump about her interests whenever it suits her (including when she is trapped in a freezer with two people). - If anyone touches a hair on her boyfriend's head she will not hesitate to cut them down with a chainsaw. - Stages not one but two mass kidnappings and killing games (that we know of). - Great at multitasking, she manged to save her own life and dispose of the people who almost killed her at the same time. - Uses her knowledge of the future to manipulate the stock market and become super rich. If that doesn't scream girlboss I don't know what does. - Starts her own organisation to fight cult leaders and save the world. - Has two nemeses, the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, whose life she completely destroys and a >100 year old cult leader. - Co-runs a moonbase where she has command of AIs and robots.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

no more distractions, only boss time

oh man that is not ominous at all nope

EGG (and the shadiest resting place of all time. I don‘t like the sounds of breathing in the background either)

Oh hey it’s a normal bench. Cool. Also apparently we are 96% complete. I‘m missing a single mask and vessel piece, are those the other 4?

SLDDKSLF the violin crescendo-ing in anticipation. Oh man, this is it huh. Okay, here we go

I t i s l o o k i n g a t m e

there‘s more tones joining the violin, all higher than the last to end in a crescendo of dreadful anticipation. Oh man that is some excellent auditory design right there

Yup. There it is.

NO HOLD UP WHY IS THAT PAL DOING THE SHAW, IT’S DOING HORNETS MOVE

Are they actually actually related am I killing her parent or sibling or smth is that why she both still looks exactly like it and is hanging out here cuz the whole place got sealed by her family

the music change in phase three is cool too, really somber. Befitting of an end, really.

…Ah. I was wondering what the weird repeating squish sound was. That…that explains it. God and the actual attacks are slower too now. That‘s just…that’s all so messed up.

(I wonder, did they tell it this would happen? Did it know, that it was only a matter of time? That it‘d always have to end this way?)

You can‘t dreamnail it either, btw - it‘s just getting blocked. I got the upgrade, so maybe it needs the full 2400 power; or perhaps those dreams have long since been sealed away?

Three phases and that was it. And finally using the focus for what it was most likely intended for, all along.

Guess my first assumption of playing as the Hollow Knight isn‘t so far off now after all, is it?

"Congratulations- Good job on accomplishing this heroic task“ it was a task for sure. But heroic? No, no i don‘t think so. Not the way things are. Not the way Hallownest is and will continue to be. Not the way the cycle is bound to go on.

Really tho this is a VERY good game, the gameplay is on point and so are the level design, sound, presentation, etc. It was very fun to come up with theories and seeing them turn true or false- and props in that regard for setting clues and allusions up in a way that lets you actually come up with said theories and guesses in the first place, without feeling like it was super convoluted or totally obvious at the same time. That‘s quite a feat too. This was the normal ending as far as I‘m aware, so there‘s definitely some extra context/lore/story to be had, and I‘m gonna get those too. So, sorry to anyone who thought the hollow knight tag was free of spamming, it‘ll most likely be a while still.

I can see why people are waiting for Silksong so badly.

As it stands, I completed this game with 96%, in 46h 17m 24s. Yep, definitely those missing shards.

HARDCODE MODE akslflslfls and they’re making you speedrun this mode too yea no I‘m never gonna 100% achievements wow oof

the background changed and its basically a beating heart I do still wonder if getting another ending might shed some light (hah) on why the syrup juice sickness corruption etc has a synced heart beat. This isn‘t the first time it had one. Hm.

[unsleepingtales]

Mentopolis ep 4! This is another very long one and also this time there's research and visual aids!

Siobhan’s look this ep is so good

I relate to Hank Green in that I also roll a d20 between my fingers and gaze into the middle distance when my GM recounts The Horrors.

You look too pretty and mysterious 😔

Siobhan is so good at playing a femme fatale

Jokes!

Wait do flash mobs really not exist anymore? Did those disappear and I didn’t notice?

Has anyone checked to see how far down Elias is rn.

Like is he gonna be falling for the next three episodes.

I love when there are cousins in rpgs. The Lords of The Wing. Imelda and Anastasia. Every rp server I’ve ever been in. Most of the dnd games I’ve ever been in. If there’s one thing rpers/ttrpgers/etc love it’s fucking complex family dynamics.

I love Max <3

she’s so silly I love her

Ivana x Dan where’s the fic cmon guys

The super casual dance 💃

THANK you please check

(players make cartoonish sounds of worry)

They really want him to fly lmao

The setttttt

WHY DOES HE HAVE A GRAPPLING HOOK ON HIS BELT

Like that’s great. But he has this for why. Did he know he was gonna get tossed out the window??? What the fuck??

I missed it last episode but this episode’s spelling is 🥁🥁

Phởcks!

ở is a Vietnamese language vowel (one of twelve), and is pronounced as an unrounded [o]. Vietnamese is a tonal language, so Ở is the letter Ơ with the hook tonal indicator above it. It does phonetically make sense as a replacement letter for the sound they are trying to achieve. x x Back to the show!

Oh god we’re in the red

140 pressure! By golly gee!

Dan whatcha doin

The fucks of doom

Literally of doom.

Freddie trying to explain what this looks like is so funny oh my god

Why did you need to slap her for that?

ONE

Quadruple oh dear lord

Also why was the grappling gun vibrating

What are you doing kid??

Oh he has no way of knowing that but that could really screw The Fix. I really hope he doesn’t get killed because the DA finds out he’s not dead.

I’ll bet Hank is having such a great time just watching this.

She beat it by more than five hell yeah

Floor rules!!

What a great cover story for being at Sugah’s all the time

Oh, the cops are huge assholes? Shocking.

Especially when Brennan’s the GM lol

Yeah Hank definitely forgot he was playing lmao

HELL YEAH

What is thisssss

Oh I do not like this at all

Everyone is so delighted by him and honestly I am too

Bad this is all bad

Like body like brain function I guess

The Fix should have had a grappling hook on his belt idk what to tell you

Wild. This is a wild thing to have happened.

God the fear that “did you know” instills now.

What. What are you trying to achieve right now.

TRAPP

What are you trying to do

WHY IS THIS WHAT’S HAPPENING

Holy shit man. What the fuck.

So is he like. No longer stressed or something? He’s still swinging from a grappling hook off a skyscraper, is he no longer stressed about that?

The gang is reuniting!

Why is Mrs Doubtfire the default? Like every improv person I’ve ever met defaults to Mrs doubtfire when they need to do a disguise thing.

Split like an end

Just noticed the little thing that looks like the communism symbol on the background lmao

The Brennan Face of Defeat is beautiful and tragic

We would hate for anyone in police custody not to have a wonderful time 💀

Poor Max

Tropes!

C’est la vieeeeee

Myeh, see!

Vigilance?

Just. Maybe. Hundreds?

An entire crosswalk just saw you shit yourself and despite being thrown out of a window and trying to grappling hook yourself to safety, the public humiliation is your biggest concern right now.

We’re driving to the mayor!

Hunch and Fucks duo of all time

Shit!

What is happeninggg

Okay but if he planned to jump and use the grappling hook then why would none of his brain functions be aware of that?

Getting the white key in the chest of a function takes it over?

“He looked at me with some eyes that did not have him inside them anymore” Jesus Christ that’s not quite on “who do we know who has blood” level but it’s close

What a wonderful flashback.

Maybe this insane situation will change him a bit lol

Freddie mouthing along perfectly <3

Drive STRAIGHT into his walls

Ivana what an icon

Great googly moogly!!

Girl what

What an adorable visual

Mr. Mayor I know we’re confessing to kind of a lot of crimes here BUT-

Is rope burn really the biggest concern

This is why the government never gets anything done

The best thing that could happen WOULD be if everything in the world were to stop you’re so right

You don’t make any sense!

Yeah having the concept of freezing as the head of government would make it really easy for people to puppet that.

I’m with Conrad I have no idea what’s going on

Yessss exactly what Imelda had tried to do earlier

Siblings <3

Ok! So they’re not falling anymore!

To control and regulate 😬

I’m curious 🧐🤨 I do all kinds of crazy things 😋🤪🥸

Trapp is so good

Thank god they got the pressure down or that would have been Bad lmao

They all smell so much like beef oh god

The conscience is not the thing holding you back from experiencing pleasure my guy

Of course you’re the embodiment of justification and you’d love to write a manifesto. Of course.

Dan Fucks is in handcuffs so often

The POWER of that roll oh my god

I want to know this woman’s story

Just fun facts, they’re not scary!

(Hank ebullient he’s meeting his match)

e·bul·lient /iˈbo͝olyənt, iˈbəlyənt/ adjective 1. cheerful and full of energy.

FACT ALERT. BRENNAN BIRD FACT ALERT.

Fact off time

Pasha N. She’s PASSION incredible

I love the cartoony clue logic of this place

Copper!

(getting titillated from the tidbits)

Caption authors I LOVE you

(aroused and astounded) I didn’t know, I didn’t know.

The fact that The Fix didn’t know any of this and this is presumably the first time someone is trading facts with him that he didn’t already know and doing it so excitedly I’m having feelings.

Hunch Curio incredible wingman action

Trapp gets the same brand of candy cigarettes that I do!

Fun fact: candy cigarettes look super realistic if you burn the end and work as props for cosplay sometimes! They also taste like toasted marshmallow :)

Oh god

Is the brother one of the kids from the orphanage? Maybe he was abandoned there and that’s why he stayed a kid while his sister grew up?

Oh my god Hank eating the candy cigarette was such a good beat

ICHABOD

Hank Green your mind <3

The gang’s back together!

Sometimes Brennan walks into a bad pun and he looks so disappointed in himself

That man needs some beef on his legs!

What a great episode.

Capers!

Sneak peek reactions:

Leave the child alone

Ooh do we get to meet Don Avaricii?

Whatttt

Oohohohoho yay.

[macawritesupdates]

Wait wait wait yuuji files is coming to an end 😭 😭 😭  it makes sense all good things must Come to an end but damn I'm going to miss the anticipation of waiting to see where the story will go with each new chapter haha. Ah, it's already cemented it's place as a favorite of mine though that won't change even when it ends. Ten more chapters to enjoy, alright!

Ahh man Sukuna was so cute in this chapter in his own way, like just climbing Yuuji when he wanted to be carried and wanting to go cow tipping and biting gojo. I love this guy ok. Yuuji telling him to calm his tits was great too. Also biting Yuuji a bit to remind him he's still there and cuz he got a bit jealous, the man saw one look between Yuuji and another person and had to stake a claim immediately he's not risking any dramatic camp romances or something love that guy. The dynamics between Yuuji and the Kyoto kids were great him I really liked how most of them start the chapter suspicious of him and end it helping him kill a god. Todo of course was perfect I have a soft spot for him love Yuuji's brother showing support. The Tokyo kids were also top notch they've just accepted Sukuna as one of their own. Yeah this is our classmate the calamity king of curses, yes he did commit many atrocities, yes he does bite, what of it? I hope that killing a god together leads to the Kyoto kids also accepting Yuuji and Sukuna. honorary Kyoto students, they're just chill now. I do enjoy seeing Yuuji and Sukuna slowly earning peoples respect and making friends maybe one day they'll have a whole generation of scorcerers who are their friends and allies. Can't wait to see if Sukuna learned enough from being in the afterlife to make his domain even more powerful. One of my favorite things about him as a character is he's a huge nerd ok the man is literally always learning and trying new things it's great I'm so glad you show that aspect of his character I hope he comes up with something fun. I really like that in this series it feels like everything escalates in a positive way as opposed to the constant negative escalation we get in cannon. Like they're fighting more powerful opponents but they're together and get to grow from it instead of suffering endlessly. Mai staying behind is actually a nice parallel to Maki having to leave the clan huh. It hurts that they have to be separated but Mai has to do this so she can live the way she wants with her head held high damn. Love Yuuji adopting yet another person into the household.  I hope Toji learns how to be a good dad from Yuuji or something. That or he just becomes the family pet assassin. Mans just here eating the food and placing bets on sports games whenever Nanami comes over to watch a one. He never wins any money though because Nanami and Sukuna will not let him bet against their teams no matter what on pain of death. He gets into trouble and Yuuji just sprays him with a squirt gun like a misbehaving cat. Poor Sukuna though he's fallen for a guy who loves people and will not stop reaching out a hand to others in need no matter what..

how awful for him… back to the purgatory thing for a moment I think my ideal version of that is Yuuji's grandpa comes to join them because he doesn't want to leave Yuuji there without him. Then Choso joins them too. Then Nobara ect. ect.  Until it's just this one portion of the afterlife where everyone comes to rest together until they can reincarnate. No one has to be alone there. Some of them may not reach heaven but they can stay together just outside hell. Is Hana the way she is because of Yuuji's demigod descendant status then? How would the heavens view the adopted named and claimed daughter of the hero who killed a god? Hmm is Susumu going to be smug when he finds out about this the little guy already clocked the whole divine sun thing. Now his dad/patron god has achieved something great. Really can't wait to read more! Thanks for writing and sharing with us!!

The Yuuji Files must end eventually! More as I think the narrative has a good conclusion where I've had it end, wrapping everything up <3

But think the next ten chapters are the strongest yet in terms of ideas as they are very contained and focused in my opinion c:

I really like the building of the conflict and people coming in contact as Yuuji slowly acclimates his murder curse to society like getting a cat use to new faces XD Sukuna still his a horrible murder hobo, but Yuuji is finding ways to get him distracted by providing proper enrichment! Also I think the Kyoto kids get the short end of the stick as far as characterization went...so wanted to give them some proper love, especially Mai :< The purgatory idea is also so very cute ; w ; his family just always wants to be there <3

[serafiel-jacobs]

It is fun to play pretend (Fanfic)

New Chapter of my Angst series 💜

As soon as Paracelsus and Simon arrived it was just when Carlo had fallen asleep for his afternoon nap. Geppetto isn’t going to wake him up so they are going to have to wait until he does, because no one wants to deal with a cranky and upset Carlo.

“How long are his naps?” Simon feels strange asking that, this is so stupid.

“Usual he sleeps for an hour, sometimes more, so I’ll guess we are going to have to wait for him to wake up”

“Why wait? We could start now with your examination Geppetto” Paracelsus has a smile on his face, he knows Geppetto can’t protest and since Carlo isn’t awake, he can have even more fun than usual.

Simon also has a smile on his face because he finally gets to see Geppetto get his special checkup instead of having to play with Carlo. No wonder Paracelsus likes playing doctor, it’s fun to see others be uncomfortable and in pain while they depend on you.

“Oh my, what’s this Geppetto?” Paracelsus has a syringe containing Geppetto’s blood, blood that now has a blue hue, making it almost look purple.

“How the hell should I know?” Geppetto knows it has something to do with Carlo and how he gave him his heart but, he has no idea why it would look that way, he is an engineer, not a doctor or alchemist.

“Hiding secrets from me?” Paracelsus knows that he is hiding something, “You don’t look well at all Geppetto, so pale, so tired”

“Being is parent is hard”

“I’m sure that there is more than just that” Nothing escapes Paracelsus, he will know sooner rather than later.

“Well I’m sure you’ll find out once you are done with Carlo, but you aren’t going to like what you see”

“You can’t play games with me Geppetto, it won’t work”

Geppetto let out a small laugh, well, he did try to warm him.

The rest of the examination went well, the only problem is that only 30 minutes had passed, Paracelsus usually does his special work slower, however with this new development there are things he needs to confirm first.

“So, are we just going to sit here in silence?” Paracelsus is starting to feel bored.

“Yes,” Simon doesn’t want to talk with either of them.

“Aaaww why not talk my love?~” Paracelsus teased him with his sweet voice.

“Do you ever take anything seriously? Or is life just a sick game for you?” Simon is done with Paracelsus’s games.

“Oh God, please don’t make me the third wheel” Geppetto groans in frustration.

Paracelsus laughs and Simon gets irritated.

“Why not join us then?” Paracelsus is having a lot of fun today.

“Shut up Paracelsus, just shut up” Simon doesn’t want to even exist at this moment.

Geppetto just ignores the comment, so Simon quickly changes the subject.

“Please let him be at peace from the moments he has away from his brat”

“I love every second I spend with Carlo”

“Sure Geppetto, whatever helps you sleep at night” Simon sees that Geppetto rolls his eyes at him, Paracelsus has a smile on his face, enjoying having to listen.

“You are the living proof of why it’s better to not have children”

“You say that because you never had any”

“What are you? A single mom now? Who’s biggest life achievement is to show off their child?”

“I’m literally a single dad you moron!” What kind of a statement is that? For the first time, Geppetto wants Carlo to wake up early from his nap so that they can leave him and his son alone.

“Hey everyone look” Simon makes a mocking tone, “My little boy only killed 5 people instead of 10, isn’t he such a good boy?”

Geppetto stays quiet and Simon knows that the old man can’t argue back because he in fact praises Carlo for not killing people.

“Okay, we all going to shut up until Carlo wakes up,” Geppetto says.

Hopefully, his nap won’t take that long.

——

Carlo woke up an hour and a half later, to Simon and Paracelsus it felt like an eternity, but Geppetto didn’t mind at all it all ended up amazingly because Carlo was in a great mood, he was behaving himself so well and he was being gentle instead of using his force.

Carlo’s blood is like Geppetto’s but his blue hue is even brighter, not only that but something else is visible, very small particles of something, Paracelsus must know more, he can’t wait to get back and analyze it.

“This is the last one sweetie, it’s going to hurt a little” Paracelsus gives out the warning.

Carlo lets out a small whimper, then he starts crying, Geppetto holds him and tells him how brave and strong he is.

Simon swears that every time he comes here Carlo behaves more and more childish, he doesn’t even know how that’s possible. It’s uncanny to see someone who is technically an adult like that, but more than anything it’s sad, truthfully at his point he does like Carlo, how could he not after the time he spends with him? He just doesn’t like Geppetto.

Paracelsus is quiet and just staring, Simon is starting to realize something is a little off about him.

“Daddy, can I play with Uncle Simon and Uncle Paracelsus?” Carlo sounds really excited.

“I’m sorry son but they were just about to leave”

“No! I want to play with them!” Carlo always plays with one of them when they come, he should play with both of them because he is strong and brave.

Geppetto stares at them, he doesn’t want them home but he doesn’t want Carlo to be upset.

“We have to leave Carlo” Simon is the one who has to speak up because Paracelsus is still quiet.

“No, don’t go!”

Before anyone else could say another word, Carlo lifted his left arm, pointed a finger at each of his uncles, and pulled them back. As he did, a small amount of their Ergo left their bodies.

Simon and Paracelsus felt paralyzed, they felt exhausted, they felt their blood flow become slower and slower, they could only stare in horror as a part of their soul was ripped from their bodies.

“Carlo…” Geppetto stares at them, clearly hesitating to tell his son to stop, “Give them their Ergo back”

Carlo doesn’t say anything, he just holds the Ergo in his hand.

“Carlo, sweetie we will play with you, we can play whatever you want,” Paracelsus says with fear in his voice, this power is something he has never seen before, something too extreme, he didn’t even think such a feat was possible.

Carlo gives them back their Ergo with a smile on his face.

Simon is just as stunned, that shouldn't be impossible, all the years he spent researching Ergo, and the only logical conclusion is that it can only be taken once someone dies or is about to die. Not even in his godly form was he able to do such a thing.

Geppetto plays with his son’s hair, “Great, you can play with your uncles while I prepare you lunch”

Geppetto has emerged victorious today, as Carlo drags Simon and Paracelsus to the basement.

—-

A tea party, a damn tea party.

Carlo is forcing them to play along, or rather forcing Simon to play along as Paracelsus seems to be having the time of his life.

The basement is way more decorated than the last time he came down here, it has a big toy chest where Carlo pulls out the fake tea cups, pots, and plates. It also has a lot of other fake props that a child could use to play with. Since the basement is already a big place the big table and chairs don’t feel like they take up too much space, even considering the amount of seats that are… occupied by Carlo’s toys, the puppets Geppetto built for him after he killed those at the hotel.

There are 10 seats, 5 occupied by the puppets; one by Romeo the teddy bear needing two cushions to be able to be seen, and seats for the 3 of them, one chair being left empty.

There is even a small wardrobe where Carlo has things to dress up as, thankfully the one given a costume is Paracelsus because he was the “fun uncle” and Simon is glad he doesn’t have that title.

A new carpet covers the floor but it has a bare spot where the hatch door Geppetto uses to throw away the bodies in.

At least since Carlo is too occupied playing with Paracelsus he just has to watch.

Paracelsus is wearing a simple but semi-formal dress, clearly some costume from a play, the dress it’s blue so it matches with his hair, and the light blue bow that comes with it compliments him.

Simon can’t deny how cute he looks.

Simon plays along from time to time but he mostly watches as Carlo and Paracelsus seem to be too entranced by it. He wonders what the deal with Paracelsus is, he really enjoys playing with Carlo each time they come here but Paracelsus is a madman, nothing about him makes sense.

A pretty mad man, in his stupid blue dress.

They all hear the door of the basement open, Geppetto calling for Carlo as lunch is ready. Carlo quickly rushes up towards his father’s side, leaving Paracelsus and Simon alone.

“Well, I should probably change” Paracelsus starts to remove the bow when he feels Simon touch his hand.

“You are beautiful”

Paracelsus is blushing, he never blushes, Simon leans in and kisses him.

“Like a princess”

They are both intensely looking at each other.

“Before the two of you start doing anything else, I will remind you that my son plays here,” Geppetto tells them from the door.

Now they are both blushing and making their way out of the basement.

——

Carlo says goodbye to his uncles, he had a really good time today. He is a little tired from playing so he asks his daddy to read him a book instead. When it’s dinner time, Carlo starts making conversation.

“Daddy, are Uncle Simon and uncle Paracelsus married to each other?”

Are they married? Probably not but “Yes they are son, why the question?”

“Aaww I wanted to throw them a wedding”

“I’m sure that they will agree to another one” Geppetto does appreciate the fact that they play with his son and make him happy, even if he doesn’t like either of them.

It’s nice to see Carlo so happy, Geppetto can tell that his son is very lonely, he was always a lonely child, only Romeo and Sophia being his friends. He was shunned and isolated by others, it was hard to hear the things Carlo tells to the toys he breaks, the horrible things said to him by his peers his age at that time.

“Daddy, When can we play all together again?”

“Well your birthday is coming soon so-“ Geppetto pauses.

Carlo’s birthday, it doesn’t feel real to him, he was told the news about Carlo’s death just a few days after his birthday. It doesn’t feel real either because it’s only been 10 months, not a year has passed since that entire fiasco of the frenzy happened.

“Daddy?” Carlo curiously tilts his head.

“Oh, Carlo I was just, remembering something, I’m sorry”

Everything becomes quiet, the atmosphere feeling tense.

“How I died?” Carlo’s voice sounds sad.

Geppetto can’t speak up, he feels like crying again, sometimes he thinks that he cries as much as his son.

The son he abandoned, the son he left to die alone.

Carlo lifts his arms, asking for a hug, Geppetto goes to his son’s side and hugs him, hugging each other with care.

“I’m sorry Carlo, I left you all alone”

“Daddy it’s okay”

Geppetto's heart starts racing.

“It wasn’t your fault”

No, it is his fault, he should have never left him alone.

“But even if it was, I forgive you Daddy”

Geppetto cries as he holds Carlo, this time his son comforting him instead of the other way around.

Geppetto kisses his son’s forehead and tells him how much he loves him, he feels like a broken record, but he loves him, and he will never stop loving his son.

When Geppetto goes outside to buy things, he hears people talk about the killer who is still loose, how people say horrible things and assumptions, but they know nothing because Carlo is a good boy.

Maybe others would say he is crazy, and maybe he is, maybe he is just as crazy as his son but Carlo is perfect in his eyes, he is a little angel, who forgave him despite all the harm he has caused him.

They both go to bed, it’s late and they are tired.

“Good night Daddy”

“Good night Carlo”

[genlirema]

Character ask meme:

Eusine

and Morty !!

Character Ask Meme (Accepting)

Eusine

What I love about them: God I wish I had even half of the drive & ambition (and energy) this man has to chasing his dreams he’s like Sonic but less cocky and more free-willed & i don’t think I can remember any other Pokemon character being this excited over just the slight chance of achieving their goals c’:

What I hate about them: It’s been a long while since I played SoulSilver but I didn’t find him creepy/stalker-like at all like the fandom likes to assume…? So I don’t really hate him for anything ._.;

Favorite Moment/Quote: Still cry over the fact that he congratulates you if you successfully catch Suicune. Man could’ve said nothing or told you off for crushing his dream but he decided to thank you instead for the chance to meet Suicune what did we do to deserve this man ;-;

What I would like to see more focus on: I do find it kinda weird that only Suicune gets the focus and not any other Legendary Beast…? We don’t get any context for why Eusine is only focused on Suicune specifically instead of the other two so that might’ve been cool to see i guess ._.; (I mean we kinda sorta got a special episode with Raikou I think but idk I don’t think that counts)

What I would like to see less focus on: Why did they make Eusine yell at Ash. I mean…I get why (kid basically claimed to see the gay chicken god but Eusine wasn’t having it) but why c’: (he never yelled at the player in-game so I see the anime Eusine as very ooc)

Favorite pairing with: Morty x Eusine! (Sacredshipping) but sometimes Jasmine x Eusine too (I think it’s called Simpleshipping…? Kinda basic if you ask me :P but still cute ^-^)

Favorite friendship: Guzma & Steven Stone. Guzma cuz of my oc phase (where basically my oc was friends with a bunch of Pokemon characters & became a crime-fighting team i dont care if its cringe shut up). Steven because I can see these two accidentally/coincidentally running into each other a bunch of times for them to eventually meet up & eventually become travelling buddies.

NOTP: …nobody ships him with Suicune right? …Right?

Favorite headcanon: I still like to think he’s a waterbender who learned from his uncle (which is the dude in Celadon City that can only be accessed through Surf). I mean…it gives further context for why he’s searching for Suicune specifically, plus I doubt any of his Pokemon know Surf either & it’d be kinda hard to chase a water deity if you don’t know how to use Surf yourself ._.;

Morty

What I love about them: He was the only male Ghost Gym Leader until the shy guy kid from Galar came along & stole his title :c in all seriousness tho I think he has the best character design out of all the Ghost Type Gym Leaders, even the Gen 4 design wasn’t too on the nose (like Agatha or the shy guy kid again, yeah yeah I know his name but i never played Sword/Shield so i’m not using it) or too obtrusive (Fantina…) Also his voice actor’s AMAZING and very underrated I wish people knew about Andrew Rannells more :c

What I hate about them: The Gen 4 design was still kinda pushing it as far as Ghost Gym Leader aesthetic goes & I still like his Gen 2/Anime design better but that’s just me :/ (also he killed my starter on my nuzlocke run when i was 11 ;-;)

Favorite Moment/Quote: I love the part in the anime where Ash asks: “wait you can talk to/understand Ghost Pokemon how?” And Morty just immediately answers “Practice.” (Also again thank you Andrew Rannels for the way the line was delivered I can’t do it justice but it’s like he saying “uuuh how do you do anything Ash huh?” xD)

What I would like to see more focus on: I don’t really see much of a problem with how he’s portrayed in game and/or the anime actually! True, more screen time and/or backstory is greatly appreciated for his interest in Ho-oh (at least in game, the anime is fine) but for what we got, I’m glad we had a Gym Leader who actually paid attention to/studied the mythos of the region for once instead of just being generic miniboss no. 14 (it might’ve been kinda cool to see his clairvoyance used more like in the manga but idk how that would work ._.;)

What I would like to see less focus on: idk he doesn’t get much screen time so there’s not much i can say about him that wasn’t needed…? Unlike Eusine, Morty’s initial attitude towards Ash (dismissing his claims about rainbow birb) made sense for his character (because he didn’t yell at him) but I guess if anyone was going to give Ash a hard time it should’ve been Morty, not Eusine. (Though this would’ve made for some annoying/petty/unnecessary drama so I can’t complain ._.;)

Favorite pairing with: Eusine (Sacredshipping) & Steven Stone (Knightshipping I think…? idk the pokeship list is a mess) Morty & Eusine both hold a special place in my heart for being the first Pokemon characters I liked (and for fueling the oc dream team I mentioned earlier) but I can also see some chemistry with Steven too! They can be chill together c:

Favorite friendship: uuuh does frenemies count cuz I still think Yellowjacket (Guzma x Morty) is the best Guzma ship I’ve come up with yet, platonic or otherwise (though I see them more as frenemies than lovers) I can also see AZ & Morty being close friends too…? idk i just want my top two favs to be buddies & share stories about their history and legendaries together 🥺

NOTP: I used to see Falkner x Morty EVERYWHERE on deviantart and it was very yabai 😬 (though hopefully that’s changed now…? It was less about the characters themselves & more about how they were portrayed…shota…)

Favorite headcanon: because I have been sucked into a new fandom hell I like to think Morty is Keito Hasumi’s uncle and I’ve been meaning to recreate my old dead rp blog just to write about their dynamic but he basically taught Keito everything he knows about music (and possibly magic) and was basically Keito’s second dad (since his real dad is probably too busy working as a monk) and no this totally isn’t just another way for me to put two of my fav characters together whaddya talking about (also the fact that both of these characters have the voices of an angel seriously go look up Andrew Rannells and Yuichiro Umehara right now they are too good for this world ;-;)

[carmelide]

Wang Lin and Tywin Lannister

the parallels between wang lin and tywin lannister genuinely need to be studied. they're such similar characters, on the surface, but if you delve deeper into their characters you'll find a huge dissimilarity between them.

wang lin, despite all his glaring faults, genuinely loves his family. when a'wu came to visit him and left upon realising su'er and jinruo weren't there, he was very clearly devestated. when he and wang su were in the prison, he swore that they would have vengeance (and even though the union between huan mi and wang su was a catastrophic mistake, wang lin wed them together because he wanted wang su to be with a woman of his choice; something WL had been deprived of.) and, when jinruo died, anyone with working eyes could see the man was devestated (and even before that, he does genuinely love her. romantically, i still don't know, but his care for her was undeniable. that night where she demands the truth from him before his ancestors and he, knowing he cannot lie to her, admits he poisoned the emperor and even waits for her to kill him...he deffo feels something towards her.)

the thing that i have taken away from wang lin's character is this; it is evident that he loves his family, but he simply loves power more. he, like tywin, puts so much value on legacy- but unlike tywin (or maybe still alike depending on how you view the latter), WL believes that he is protecting his family by making all of these chess moves (which, to an extent, i understand. the emperor means to supress the wangs and of course wang lin, despite being his brother in law, cannot possibly stand by and watch that happen.)

another difference between tywin and wang lin is that whereas i feel confident calling WL a morally grey antagonist, tywin is a cold, calculating, loveless hardass™️ antagonist and graduated from Big Bad Guy University. that man only truly cared for joanna and i doubt he cared for anyone else. one could argue for his affections towards his children, but tywin didn't love or care for them at all in my opinion.

in regards to jaime, i think tywin loves what jaime represents and what he represents his the heir to casterly rock. his golden child. his future; his legacy. he loves what jaime could accomplish, what jaime could achieve; he loves what jaime could be (the future lord of casterly rock and warden of the west) but not what he is (an infatuated, impulsive kingsguard who has no desire to play the game). i think tywin's "favourite" child is most definitely cersei as she's the most accomplished out of all his children; the most powerful woman (and at times, most powerful person) in the seven kingdoms, mother to the future king and a lioness through and through. she definitely inherited tywin's traits the most, but her downfall is her madness (probably due to inbreeding or maybe she was bonked as a child idk) and, again, her recklessness and impulsivity are what disappoint tywin; cersei believes she can play the game, but she cannot. also, misogyny.

then there's tyrion. good god, where to begin. even though tywin is an intelligent man, he blames the death of his wife on tyrion who was an infant when his mother passed. he blames tyrion not because it was his fault (after all, it is logistically impossible for a newborn infant to kill a grown woman), but because he needs something to blame. for the most part, tywin is a logical man and only behaves illogically when he's emotional. his hatred of tyrion is a purely emotional one (though the man doesn't make himself any better by drinking and whoring so i'll give tywin some leeway there) and i think, to tywin, that tyrion is the antithesis of everything a lannister should be.

tywin only cares for his children when it suits him. he tries to get tyrion back from catelyn because if he doesn't, he will appear incompetent. he does the same with jaime for the same reasons (and because he needs his heir). he cares for cersei because it is in his best interest to do so, as she is the queen. if tywin truly loved his children, he would have clocked onto jaime/cersei's ways sooner. he would have found a way to quell cersei's madness and cruelty (or at least help her mask it better). hell, he would have remarried! tywin was only in his thirties when joanna died and i am positive of the fact that hundreds of lords and noblemen would have jumped at the chance for their daughters, sisters, nieces etc. to wed the lord paramount of the westerlands. if he truly wished to further his legacy, he should have just had more kids!

sorry, this has kinda devolved into me criticising tywin as an antagonist rather than comparing him to wang lin so compare i shall! tywin, firstly, is a terrible judge of character; the best example of this is him misjudging tyrion and thinking that the man wouldn't kill him for whatever fucking reason. in contrast, wang lin makes the astute observation (though it is moreso a jab at wang su than a compliment to his daughter) that she has a curiousity that could rival any man, or something along those lines. for the most part, wang lin is on the money for many characters in the story. the only person he misjudges is xiao qi, which he later admits.

a similarity between WL and TL is the fact that they both believe themselves to be acting in the best interests of their families (though i feel WL is a little bit more sincere, at least initially.) the reality of this, however, is that their goals are selfish and the only thing they seek to further/elevate is themselves. this, coupled with their hubris and the under-estimating of their enemies (who, arguably, needn't have been enemies in the first place), is what leads to their downfalls.

honestly, this was very disorganised and muddled and had no clear direction but i just needed to rant about how alike their characters are and for somebody - ANYBODY - to agree with/discuss this with me!

[kidfoundonstreets]

bites u. fake type

the mvs and the lyrics are all so packed and chaotic it scratches my brain

0:06 “K” for “kusoyarou” I won an once-in-a-life-time gamble game Let me invite you all to the spectacular view in a second.0:12 I don’t wanna do anything, no matter what happens, I don’t I don’t wanna work, absolutely not, I’d die instead0:18 Shouting voice of the annoying Princess hauling in the air, saying “Work hard!” I always get bossed around, being treated like her little bitch0:24 All I wanna do is to wake up in the morning and relax in my PJ. But I’ll do anything for you because you are a selfish bitch. No matter how I try to talk you out of it, you don't seem to care at all. (she doesn't even see me.)0:31 For all the last minute favors I do for you because you asked, unless I complete them perfectly, I’d get punished. For all the sudden words you throw at me, unless I understand them well, you’d be really mad and hysterical.0:37 For me, she’s already turned into a monster with no listening ear.0:43 It’s too early to die for me, gotta survive even if I drive myself crazy. I am practically dead when I stop creating, anyway0:51 Kruel Kreator... Betray, Talking shit, Kill them all by M.I.C0:57 Kruel Kreator... Oh my "F" word, Please repair my broken heart (Arara)1:03 I still can't forget the drama (Onriedo) I must be an avenger, So tame the trauma (Issaikaiku) I can't trust you ever, Goodbye I'm out1:12 Stupid mo fxxker, Shut up mo fxxker I wanna get out of hell1:16 But I don’t wanna quit, no matter what I don’t wanna quit music, absolutely not, even if I had to die instead1:22 It was bad timing, no it wasn’t that. This idea is a gift from the god. I’m executing this brilliant murder plan of Princess Trap for you Neither traps nor my hitman could get to you. I was like “What a fxxk?”1:28 My monsters ended up easily tamed by you right after they tried to kill you. Although I wanted to punch your weak spot, I let you thrive instead. What a brave man am I. (sarcastically)1:35 I’ve tried many ways, but only to find myself in vain, I��m in jeopardy. Even when I made the poisonous cocktail, you seemed just fine and didn’t die.1:41 You are like the joker in the playing cards. No matter what I did, my frustration will be pent up, I don’t wanna die like this.1:47 Before I get completely covered with the paint of your hellish screams, I’ve got to take back myself. Let’s not forget there is only one me.1:54 Kruel Kreator... Betray, Talking shit, Kill them all by M.I.C2:01 Kruel Kreator... Oh my "F" word, Please repair my broken heart (Arara)2:07 I still can't forget the drama (Onriedo) I must be an avenger, So tame the trauma (Issaikaiku) I can't trust you ever, Goodbye I'm out2:16 Stupid mo fxxker, Shut up mo fxxker I wanna get out of hell2:19 Life is strange... I can't wait for the day I can beat you Life is strange... Viva la Revolución2:25 If I don’t end you, you will end me. I wanna keep my cool and control my heightened anxiety. If I don’t play my cards first, she will eventually take my life away. I’m gonna fight my destiny. The hellish and evil atmosphere lingers in the quiet night.2:32 I grabbed by butcher knife, jumped and stabbed you on the back Thought I killed you finally, but there wasn’t a single scratch on you.2:38 I attacked you over and over again but you were not affected at all. When I realized you had already had me in the corner. Right then, Kruel Kreator popped up.2:46 Hummn. I feel like I’ve met you somewhere before. And is it the really great painting that you got back then? Does that mean you are the girl who was my fan back then?2:53 Unbelievable but, without me knowing, I must have made a deal with the devil. Kruel Kreator… crazy creator3:04 If I am just stuck here like this, my time will be up without me achieving anything in life...I’d hate it if that happened. So, I have made up my mind to keep my flaming ambition in “my brain” and to work towards achieving it

[mermaidsirennikita]

IAD Hero Power Rankings: Lucky 13

I am getting down to the final like....3.5...? Books? And Dark Skye was the Virgin AngelDemon God Warrior hero, who I thought I would not like, but honestly, he was pretty delightful. If Thronos had gotten a handjob earlier in life, countless lives would've been spared.

Lothaire Daciano, the Enemy of Old, vampire, Lothaire

Pros:

–well you can’t say he isn’t goal-oriented

–takes kids trick or treating

–does not support rape or child murder; and he actually likes dogs a lot!

–“ELIZABETH. WITH MY COMPLIMENTS. YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR CLAWS INTO ANOTHER ONE OF MINE. ROT IN HELL. L.” he says as he tries to make a point when sending her his Heart in a Box ™, failing to make that point because it’s clear that he’s just sitting in his murder castle listening to teardrops on my guitar on repeat

–listen between the tittyfucking and the “let me drink my heroine’s virgin’s blood after I very literally pop her cherry” moment, you can’t call him boring

–actually hilarious, basically just a very scary vampire with a to-do list punting decapitated heads around like they’re soccer balls

–just did some shifter beheadings!!! it not like he goes around cockslapping gnomes!!!!

–loves a couch sex moment

Cons:

–does support murdering everyone else if need be, casting out innocent souls to achieve his aims, unleashing untold evil, trench coats, biting unwilling people and being like “look if it gets weird go with it”

–clinically insane

–will forget someone he was talking to like half an hour ago because he’s lost all concept of time and space, will talk to himself during sex to be like “DON’T KILL HER @ me!!!”

–Ellie spends like 30% of this book covered in his semen, to the point that she literally just goes to sleep in it in order to piss the demon inhabiting her body off

–I thought he couldn’t sleep because of his madness but when you get to his POV he’s like “MY DICK IS TOO HARD FOR ME TO SLEEP”

–watches everyone have sex, which, considering this series, is a lot of people. I don’t even think it’s sexual it’s just his shit

–his only friend is a teenage quarterback, but then again, that QB is Thad and Thad is God

–put the Valkyrie queen underwater to drown eternally and forgot where she was lmao (this came out before The Old Guard…..)

–was into “juvenile skullfucking”

--Update: responded to an official royal missive from the vrekener king with a MESSAGE IN BLOOD that was like "oh shit y'all exist?--L"... too Goth to rule....

2. Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros: 

–invented “werewolf versus demon” basketball because he was SADS

–smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

–gets Lucia off through prison bars…. a determined man

–engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he’s just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit… he sees it as foreplay

–is actually truly the most woke werewolf hero; rightly points out to Lucia that she’s not exaaaactly being chaaaaste when he’s tearing that shit up every night even if there’s no penetration; keeps himself from going full moon crazy with magic in order to keep Lucia from being pressured into sex with him, and even when that magic breaks super holds back until she makes a conscious decision; does not do the Ritual Doggy Style Full Moon thing because he wants to look into her eeeeeeyes and ground her and even puts her on top, a KING

–catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I’m crying

–“lass, I’m about to make you a widow” …. this shit works every time

–even a GOD can’t make him hurt Lucia

Cons:

–does not believe that women should have jobs after they find their werewolf soulmates, but to be fair, he is completely right, why the hell would I work if I had a rich werewolf soulmate who hunts big game for me and does all the cooking and cleaning and work and shit

–is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

–is honestly big stupid about a lot of things… plan for keeping his woman from pursuing her immortal mission was “I’ll just fuck her until she passes out and then I’ll go do big mission for her”, admirable but not flaw-free logic

–was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

–BIG “dumb younger brother” energy

–“we’re werewolves we’re very curious and always have to solve mysteries” lmao okay Scooby Doo

3. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she’s evil and he’s all “awwww baby I don’t understand why they don’t like you :(” when she’s committed, like, war crimes… down ridiculous…

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

–has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

4. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

5. Uilleam “Will” MacRieve, “MacRieve”, werewolf, MacRieve

Pros:

–literally called “bucket list” among immortal women because he’s the one you have to fuck in case you might die someday

–incredibly family-oriented and so HYPE to put a baby in there, which could be horrible but with the werewolves it’s always hot

–has the sweetest relationship with his twin ever like please Munro and MacRieve always having each other’s backs and knowing what the other is feeling and being devoted to each other stop

–incredibly dangerous hot hot hot but so gentle with Chloe in those first chapters, literally just left a bag over her head so that she couldn’t see him in beast mode and get scared

–listen… he’s got Issues, but he does the fucking work in the end and ows them and in myyyy opinion the Issues are pretty fucking valid

–LEASHES THE BEAST FOR HERRRRRRRRRRRRR I WEEEEEPT

–the mouth on this dude (in all ways)

Cons:

–is maybe the most traumatized hero I’ve read in these books, which is saying something, and that means that he reacts PRETTY FUCKING BADLY to the Chloe reveal and does treat her badly before it gets better

–has like very little control over his beast for most of this book so he’s just like werewolfin’ out all over the place while Munro goes “I don’t even know why I bother”

–that time he threw up after taking Chloe’s virginity (not his fault but YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES MCGIIIIIKES)

–is called bucket list because he only knows how to fuck and can’t have emotional sex or even sex like a person he only knows how to have beast sex which to be fair sounds like fun sex but is not necessarily like… romantic and shit

–it’s implied that he does the battle shit for running the MacRieve settlement and Munro is the one who actually reads the legal shit, which like I’m glad that works and all but it seems pretty irresponsible lmao

–there is no living villain in this book, the villain is MacRieve’s trauma, which is very good and deep but also TOUGH BRO

6. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

7. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

8. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

—just extremely determined… his heroine can’t bear skin to skin contact? He’s gonna use an icicle as a dildo. He fucked up so bad she fled to an ice kingdom? Well, he’s gonna fucking find her

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–I mean does bitch a lot about how sexually frustrated he is but his heroine is an ice princess who can’t stand skin to skin contact without extreme pain so……………………… I do get it blue balls kill

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

9. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

10. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

11. Thronos Talos, vrekener (cough demon with wings cough), Dark Skye

Pros:

--virgin hero!!!

--surprisingly kinda naturally kinky (not surprising, it's always the God warriors)

--gets hilariously flustered constantly throughout this novel

--was the sweetest little baby boy when he and Lanthe were kids he just wanted to bring her food (dead rabbits) and hold her in his baby wings

--secretly swears a lot for a heavenly angel

--is just trying his best to run a kingdom and getting responses back from Lothaire like "wow your species exists??? wild bro" and "I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF YOUR BODY AND LAUGH IN YOUR FACE" from Rydstrom so honestly? snaps for Thronos

Cons:

--was a bit heavy on the slutshaming what with his God warrior origin story

--is cursed with secondary bonerism what with his wings being.... very sensitive.... tertiary bonerism as he also has the demon horns?

--was going through a demon identity crisis throughout this book which I personally found hilarious but it was rough for him

--insisted on losing his virginity through that Mormon sheet thing

12. Trehan Daciano/Prince of Shadows, vampire, Shadow’s Claim

Pros:

–has MAGICAL INVISIBLE-MAKING MIST

–beats the shit out of everyone in this book, basically…. hot

–is apparently a really good uncle when he’s not trying to kill his relatives

–was actually extremely romantic with Bettina and liked her dumb little weapons designs. Would see her be like “I think I should make a poisoned bracelet” and go “fucking genius”

–goes from being super rational to FULL ON FUCKING INSANE and that’s hot

–says at one point that he’ll figure out what to do with their various relationship issues once he’s inside her, which I certainly was not mad at

–that time he told Bettina to refrain from touching herself until he could do it for her, we love to see it

Cons:

–was the second!!! person in this series to take Lothaire’s romantic advice, which was admittedly correct but suggests his own lack of judgment

–sat in his library and sadly masturbated for weeks (while Lothaire watched)

–watched Bettina sleeping, which I wasn’t personally upset with, but I guess that’s inappropriate

–that time they were like “your challenge is to give the princess what she’d want most” and he gave her a bag of heads and went “…. fuck” when everyone in the room didn’t get it

–held back on biting Bettina for forever, which was dumb and unhorny of him

13. Declan Chase/Aidan the Fierce/Gabriel/Edward/whoever the fuck else he was, berserker, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

Pros:

–I mean you can’t really go wrong with someone who is so determined to have his heroine that he just defies death and keeps coming back throughout the ages

–probably the only employee at Torture Island to get in trouble for workplace sexual harassment…. impressive

–that time he cried after suffocating Regin (it must be truuuuue love truuuuuue love)

–that bathtub scene where he was like “wait no actually I’m taking over this weird sexual interplay thing we have going on”

–his days-long island hike grovel where he was like just sadly walking around and being like *eye emoji* at Regin…. hilarious

Cons:

–I actually totally got why Regin forgave him (true love + dick too bomb) but personally I feel like it’s basically impossible that Lachlain and Rydstrom and Sabine are gonna let the shit he pulled slide forever so suspension of disbelief was rough there

–he did vivisect a MacRieve, and I am nothing if not a MacRieve Stan For Lyfe

–the drug addiction issues are rough

–that time he had to let Lothaire bite his neck whenever he wanted and Lothaire was like “if I call you a girl’s name just go with it” and it DIDN’T turn into sex? Sads

14. Malkolm Slaine, demon/vampire, Demon from the Dark

Pros:

–we love a virgin hero always

–gave Carrow the heads of her enemies As A Treat

–very good at giving sensual baths

–a responsible, loving step-demon to what is admittedly an annoying child

–made Rydstrom, Nikolai, Garreth, and Myst all “YOU WANNA GO BRO???” in what was by far one of the funniest parts of the series

Cons:

–honestly a very sweet guy

–swallows toothpaste TWICE

–comes against Carrow’s leg like thirty seconds after meeting her (actually a pro in terms of hilarity)

–TOO BIG, WON’T FIT (pro)

–could’ve been meaner, I’m not gonna lie

15. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–all but a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

[maguro13-2]

The Dark Beginnings ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 0 Final Prologue (True Ending 1/7)

*This is the true ending to making it as the Best Ending where it leads, so here we go!*

Me : Okay, everyone places are set! It's time for the True Ending of this here branch! Give it up for the True Ending path aka the Best Ending Path!

(Audience applauses)

*Seto whsitling*

Seto : Hey, Kid. You feeling okay?

Maka Albarn : ....

Seto : Hey, what's the matter? Were you just hitting the sauce or something?

Maka Albarn : (snickers+Chuckles)

Seto : Hmm? What's so funny?

Maka Albarn : Oh it's truly despicable, did you really think that I should've know that you would be fooled by that easily did you?

Seto : What do you mean fooled by that easily? Hey, what's the big deal?

Maka Albarn : The only reason for you to be a Shinigami is your truly purpose of helping me on defeating a God, but there was no God neither was Asura. But I did found light itself, I wanted to become greater than before. I wanted to achieve everything to destroy the family members of the Kusakabe, that was my purpose how Demon Vibe was able to not letting me seek into the truth. The Ohkuboverse, it's heroes and villains, all part of it's game, there is no wonder that you would be the one that will seek into truth! I ought to esitmated myself. (laughs)

Seto : What? Hey, Maka dear. Please, just what are you planning on ending Soul Eater's world by the year 2013? Oo who's gonna end it for you?

Maka Albarn : Me? Why? To think that this Soul Resonance thing was Shinra Kusakabe's idea of form three entities into one God, a true God that true created the World of Soul Eater and Shinra was Soul Eater's true creator! I knew about him all along! And you and everyone else didn't knew about that!

Seto : What are you even saying?

Maka Albarn : Since Shinra has became the only God that is the Bansho-man who gave birth to Death and the world of Soul Eater, I, Maka Albarn shall become a God too, this is what I have been waiting for! This was the true purpose of killing the Gods that are false!

Seto : What!?! Hey, whatever happens to showing the world with courage and stuff!? What's gotten into you, Maka Albarn!? Why are you acting like this!?

(Chaos Emeralds appears circling around her)

Seto : (gasps) The Chaos Emeralds. Wait a sec...Maka! You didn't steal them from the Special Stages, did you!? The purple one was stored within a chamber, what are you planning on killing the Gods that are false in the Ohkuboverse!?

Maka Albarn : With these, I'm going to put an end to Demon Vibe and his dream of conquering the Galaxy shall be out of his place! But just to remind you one thing, Reaper Girl who is Needless. But needless to say that Maka Albarn, Soul World's chosen hero, is no more.

Seto : You what!?

Maka Albarrn : That's right. For you see that I am the Angel of Death and a God of Destruction that is Chaos, I will definitely show the world my courage as becoming...ANGEL CHAOS 0, GOD OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!

Seto : No! Maka! Don't you dare do it!

Maka Albarn : Now then, now that I have these in the part of my plan, I won't be needing anyone, anymore, especially for the devil they call him Shinra Kusakabe!

*DBZ SFX : Surprise*

[The Last Palace by Hideaki Kobayashi plays]

Seto : NO, MAKA! PUT THOSE EMERALDS DOWNS!

Solva : Seto! What's going on!? (gasps) W-What the--!?

Maka Albarn : (laughs+laughs evilly)

*DBZ SFX : Big Aura+Powering up*

Maka Albarn : [Roaring with a distorted voice]

Solva : That power! It couldn't be!

Angel Chaos (Maka) : I am Angel Chaos, God of Death and Destruction. I am the new God of the Ohkuboverse! I shall make humanity and Real World AU itself to become my own image!

"ANGEL CHAOS : GOD OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION"

Seto : Maka! You've gone insane with Shinra's influence and power, you’ve turned yourself into a fearsome beast! This must've been the negative powers of the emeralds that fulfills darkness within one's heart!

Solva : So I was right, there was something fishy from the Ohkuboverse! This was definitely Shinra's fault!

Seto : Can't believe that everyone from the Ohkuboverse is a fool! Who would've known that Maka would able to use that power to take over this world!? The Real World!

Angel Chaos (Maka) : Now that you all wil excuse me, I got some unfinished business to take care of.

*Chaos Control*

Seto : Hey! She escape!

Solva : Wonder what the big rush is all about? No sudden clue that this would be all a major let down. I gotta tell the others about this!

(scene changes)

*WHISTLE BLOWING*

Solva : Emergency Roll Call! Emergency Roll Call!

*DOOR BANG*

Solva : Everyone listen up! This is an emergency Roll Call! Give us your attention!

Egg Pawns : Front and Center, ma'am!

Seto : Alright, boys! Listen up! The thirteen-year old middle school student that we captured Maka Albarn, has escaped from this palace we were at and is going to wreak havoc on the public order. I want you to find and locate the missing girl who gathered powers from the emeralds, the one that Master Grim has kept stored within our storage facility from the special stages! Now do I make myself clear?

Egg Pawns : Ma'am! Yes, Ma'am!

Seto : Perfect. Now let's get this show on the road!

[Scenario : Courage by Fumie Kumatani plays]

Voice : EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! PRISONER HAS ESCAPED FROM THE SPECIAL ROOM! PLEASE GATHER YOURSELVES FOR BATTLE PREPARATIONS!

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Listen, up! Maka Albarn, the girl who was chosen as Soul World's Hero, is about to unleash Chaos over this planet and it is our sworn duty to protect Real World AU at all costs! All units prepare to be engaged! Egg Pawns, Knight Pawns, Sorcerers! Hammers! Tonight, we fight for honor as Death chosen by the Gods! This is our battle to face the enemy and make them as our own! We chosen to make ourselves strong!

(Egg Pawns uproars)

[Imminent Battle by Kenichi Tokoi plays]

Seto : Now this is more like it!

Solva : You can count on me!

Seto : Okay, everyone! March! Hang Castle Security Force is a Go!

*The Group starts marching*

Seto : (in mind) I don't believe it. That Soul Evans fella and the other Soul Eater heroes were idiots. Why didn't I noticed them before now?

Solva : (in mind) Can it be true, can Maka Albarn unlock a dangerous potential of becoming a fully-fledged by using the power of the Emeralds? I won't let her do that.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : (In mind) Now...I finally know what's going on. Maka hiding this plan to steal the emeralds in order of becoming another God, what the hell is going on with Soul World? Why in the world would Soul World's chosen hero hiding a decisive plan to end all villains that live in Japan, America, and the rest of the world?

*flashback*

Rupika : Hey, Mr. Grim. I finally figured of how Maka Albarn was able to unlock her true full potential. I discovered that the Grigori Soul she obtained wasn't really a Grigori at all. It was the soul of a Hero Chao that died when players weren't there to take care of it. Maka must've inherited from the Chao World when she was visits Chao World everyday to meet her world's true creator, Shinra Kusakabe. To neutralize Maka's negative energy from the Hero Chao's soul, one person has a heart filled with light and positive energy, but the other has a heart and filled with the power of darkness and it could be the Negative energy. That's how Light and Darkness combine together as a force to neutralize all the negative energy to swept away and light shall be restored a person's heart with love.

*flashback end*

Grim (Metal Sonic) : So that's what a Grigori soul is. a Hero Chao soul which those and Maka Albarn makes her in the result of becoming the Angel Chao 0. There is one counterpart that could outmatch the Angel Chaos. And I know who it is.

(Scene changes to the Chao Garden)

Shinra the Devil Chaos Chao : "ZZZZ..."

Iris' Voice : Shinra-Kun, onegai tatsukete kudasai.

Shinra the Devil Chaos Chao : !? Iris?

Iris' voice : Please, Shinra. I beg of you for me, please let them give me a chance to make everyone happy!

Shinra the Devil Chaos Chao : !? (roars as he converts into his Devil Chaos form)

*DBZ SFX : Big Aura+Powering up*

[Throw it All Away by Fumie Kumatani plays]

Colors Announcer : Devil Chaos!

*DBZ SFX : SURPRISE*

Shinra the Devil Chaos : ...MAKA! I'M COMING OVER THERE TO YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS RENEGADING FREAK! I'M GIVING YOU THE DEMONSTRATION OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A HERO! TIME FOR A HERO'S LESSON TO BE TAUGHT!

(scene cuts to Shinra (Devil Chaos form) leaving Chao World)

Shinra the Devil Chaos : I'm gonna make you regret for ever of protecting, I cannot believe that you inherited the powers of an angel coming from that Chao. You won't be hero any longer once you were in that form. I got one special order for you, It's Angel vs Devil! I will beat you Maka Albarn, no matter what I do. I'm still the hero that I was ever cherished, Shinra Kusakabe!

"Don't Worry, Maka. I'll make sure that you'll be taught a lesson by me!"

"And don't even get me started on ruining your livelyhood."

"I'm just trying to save the planet from destruction."

"You're lucky that I will make you regret for what you've did."

~ Continues to the next part ~

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group A, Round 2, Poll 3:

Propaganda under the cut

GLaDOS

I mean, obviously.

Akane Kurashiki

Zero Escape spoilers! Akane Kurashiki is dead. Died in an incinerator as a child. But she's right here, isn't she? She's talking about mummies and the Titanic and I'm holding her in my arms. But also she's Zero, mastermind who trapped us here and threatened our lives. That guy literally just exploded. But Akane couldn't have done that, she's so sweet and she's so scared. Also she's dead? But wait, she's right here, and she has a fever again.

lied to a group of ppl including her childhood bestie so they'd enter a death game she planned, she's so funny. also later planned another death game to save the earth etc

GASLIGHT: Lies to everyone and pretends to just be an innocent quirky girl when in reality, she is the mastermind behind the situation everyone has been put in. Pretends to be sad and concerned when the bastard who almost killed her pretends to do a heroic sacrifice to get everyone's sympathy. Pretends she's put bombs inside everyone's stomachs. Really, she only put bombs inside the people she wants revenge on. Pretends that she and her brother aren't related. Erases her fiancé's memories and makes him forget he proposed to her so she can go to the moon and stop the outbreak of an apocalyptic virus without him getting in the way. Puts herself into a schrodinger's cat situation where she's both living and dead until you decide what door to walk through. Manipulates her way into a Mars mission program. Makes a guy think he is 45 years younger than he actually is. Pretends she is going to stab two people to force them back in time. Manipulates a child into participating in his father's research so he can act as a spare if necessary. GATEKEEP: A psychic who gains near omniscience in some circumstances, but refuses to explain snything unless it suits her plans. Says ""Only God decides who lives and dies!"" But she kills several people. Perhaps only God and Akane Kurahiki decide who lives and dies. Or maybe they're the same person? Manipulates a woman into breaking up with a man so she can kidnap him and bring him to the moon. Refuses to let her boyfriend meet her when it doesn't suit her plans. Kidnaps two women and puts them into a coma for 45 years. GIRLBOSS: Very willing to kill to achieve her goals or get revenge. Queen of random trivia. Will info dump about her interests whenever it suits her (including when she is trapped in a freezer with two people). If anyone touches a hair on her boyfriend's head she will not hesitate to cut them down with a chainsaw. Stages not one but two mass kidnappings and killing games (that we know of). Great at multitasking, she manged to save her own life and dispose of the people who almost killed her at the same time. Uses her knowledge of the future to manipulate the stock market and become super rich. If that doesn't scream girlboss I don't know what does. Starts her own organisation to fight cult leaders and save the world. Has two nemeses, the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, whose life she completely destroys and a >100 year old cult leader. Co-runs a moonbase where she has command of AIs and robots.

[runthepockets]

I kinda refuse to believe that older men are less misogynistic than men my age and I also refuse to believe a lot of this "growing misogyny problem in young men" research. I think the scale and visibility of it is all very new, but I don't think the attitudes are.

Like, you're not seriously telling me the generations that grew up with Girls Gone Wild and Tucker Max books and the OG Men's Rights Movement and "DR PEPPER MAX IT'S NOT FOR WOMEN" and "Smear the Queer" and Howard Stern videos and hypersexual Rock music videos and shitty Pop Punk songs that spoke of young women in such entitled and manipulative ways are any more accepting or well adjusted than your average Andrew Tate fan. Like it wasn't Zoomer and Millenial men that killed Kitty Genovese or Elizabeth Short. Ted Bundy was born in 1946. Misogyny has always been around and men and boys have traditionally always leaned more conservative than women and girls, because one of the basic standards of patriarchy is promising men and boys rewards and hyper-autonomy as long as they keep selling their souls to be good little cogs in the capitalist machine because that's what "real men" do (and if you're straight-- which a lot of these guys are-- you really want the capital and typical trappings of masculinity anyway, because those things are the quickest ways to get a girlfriend or a wife and "win" the game), while women aren't really promised anything but basic survival needs, and only if they're under the thumb of a man while doing so. It's also why war drafts were so enticing and successful in years past; if you're a good little meatshield, a good little worker bee, there'll lines of treasure and toys and games and women waiting for you hand and foot and you'll be revered as an honorable and respected warrior in Vallhalla / Heaven / Paradise / etc.

It's all a very meticulous system. Nothing has changed, everything is still moving exactly the way it's supposed to, this is just how it's always been. I'm sure if you went back to any high school during the Reagan or Bush years, most of the boys there would say they lean conservative or moderate as well. The only reason younger men acting more on these he-man misogyny-homophobia sprees now is because the trappings their fathers and grandfathers were promised are no longer viable realities and they're feeling betrayed about it. In the 70s you could go to school and college for cheap, then spend an entire week doing nothing but going to concerts and meeting cute girls because shows were 8 bucks a pop. The modern job market is garbage, college is getting more expensive, alienation is more common than ever with stagnant salaries forcing people to pick up longer shifts and take on anywhere from 2-4 jobs, leaving no time to socialize. The standards for masculinity remain the same as they were in the 50s, despite this. Boys are turning to guys like Andrew Tate and Kevin Samuels, because those guys are the embodiment of capitalist patriarchy and falling into that mindset reads, to them, as the quickest easiest and most "correct" way to achieve standards of manhood that are as highly regarded from the average person as they are outdated in this desolate economy we all find ourselves trapped under. It's very much the "We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars" monologue from Fight Club.

Spiraling into despair about it and turning it all into a big generation war or whatever just seems so....pointless to me? Like men are not becoming-- nor have they ever been-- uniquely evil and stupid. They're groomed by the trapping of western white supremacist capitalism. Seeing it as some unique new slight on reality with no solution just seems so blatantly wrong to me.

[anemoarchonhoe]

The Ruin Bird - Prologue

I'm so rusty... the last time I wrote a fanfic was when I was 16. I'm 22 now, lol. Self aware Genshin reignited my will to write something again. I'll try my best to improve my writing.

This is actually very self indulgent and may be seen like it's more author-insert than reader-insert (it is- /shot). I can't write yanderes to save my life so this might be more Normie Worshippers than Obsessive Acolytes.

Now that I have more free time, I CAN MAKE THIS INTO A SERIES. I have no plot in mind at all and I'm going to wing it as I go. I am open to suggestions as to where y'all wanna see this go.

Warning: bad writing, references reader being Saitama from One Punch Man but they aren't Saitama, you get me?? lmao

It was a nice day. You opened your eyes and woke up, and after that realized that you're going to have to go out to do grocery shopping that day. Suddenly, it wasn't such a good day anymore. A few more moments of observing the slowly moving clouds and you remembered that today is the day your favorite grocery store is going to do a huge sale, then it was back to being a fairly nice day again. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Just hoping it won't get destroyed again by a monster's attack.

...

Wait.

You're supposed to be looking up at the ceiling. Did your roof get snatched like a wig? Also, why is your bed so hard like you're laying on the ground?

Slowly, you get up and stretched, your hand coming into contact with grass. Grass? You look down, and indeed, it was grass. Then you begin to look around, and the first thing you see is a shadow of something behind you. So you look behind and, lo and behold–

A Statue of the Seven, the archon on the pedestal being that of the god of anemo and freedom.

Your eyes widened just a bit, before looking around once more and... a crystalfly just flew near you. You hold up a hand and mentally tried to beckon it towards you mentally. Its wings flaps faster as it drew near and rests itself upon your index finger, anemo wings fluttering in delight. You marveled at the sight, then looked away, wanting to see where you ended up in. You spot some windwheel asters in the distance and some boring trees and bushes, but you've teleported here way too many times when you need to be away from the keyboard. Basically, it's your comfort statue.

You're above the Dawn Winery.

You raise your hand a little and watch the crystalfly leave, before sitting up and patting yourself free of dirt and grass blades, running your hands through your hair to fix it.

You freeze.

HAIR?!

You felt your legs weaken and you slump back on the ground, surprised. Then everything begins to sink in and you've never felt so many emotions all at once. You're suddenly overwhelmed. You've never felt overwhelmed before, the last time was when you've achieved your peak power. Wait, no. It was when you've had your first one shot kill. A single punch.

You're in Genshin- No, in Mondstadt. In Teyvat. There were crystalflies that keep trying to land on your face and head, and there are windwheel asters surrounding you, its so many that it has become a garden. You're inside your favorite game. And you got your beautiful (color) hair back. You lost it all during your training, and while it distraught you, it never deterred you from striving to make yourself your own hero.

What happened? How did you get here?

You try to recall what happened as best as you could.

(To be continued)

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