#i weirdly feel like this could be a bit of a touchy subject

[hopefuloverfury]

ey yooooo are requests still open?? if so, what are the bachelor/ette's first impressions of the farmer? who do you think has a crush right off the bat and who takes a little longer to warm up to them?

They are open! I’ll let y’all know when they’re closed, but you can still send in requests regardless—I won’t delete any, but I have to wait until I have time to work through them. This got away from me, it’s so long, and I really wanted to do a bit for everybody, but the post is a monster so I'm going to make the bachelorette's a little later, if that's alright! It also fell a little more toward “How The Marriage Candidates Fall In Love With You,” so. Uh. Whoops? I hope you enjoy!

Bachelorettes are here.

This is super fluffy for some of them, others not so much, Shane is Shane, and Seb is Seb. There’s some little bits of dialogue here and there, but I didn’t go crazy, and I tried to stick to canon but also I did not stick to canon lmfao

Sam

Sam saw you on the first friday of spring, at the saloon

He thought you looked… pretty normal, actually

like, yeah sure, you had work boots caked with dried mud, and a backpack stuffed past-full with an assortment of busted up tools slung over your shoulder, but other than that, pretty normal

Besides, it wasn’t weird for people living on a farm to have a lot of tools, right?

He’s got the image of you seared into his brain for a few days afterward, but doesn’t talk about it with Seb and Abigail because they’re both weirdly touchy about the subject (more on that later)

Then you approach him at the egg festival to introduce yourself, and Sam’s curiosity grows that much more

Your boots are still filthy, your backpack is practically bursting at the seams, and he’s pretty sure he saw you drop at least 5000 gold on seeds at Pierre’s stand

He wants to talk to you more, but then Lewis starts the egg hunt, and for the first time since Sam moved to Pelican Town, Abigail loses—to you

Everyone is surprised, Abigail is bitter about it, Sam wishes he’d had the chance to talk to you again after the egg hunt was wrapped up, but he couldn’t find you

He’s even more taken aback when he hears about your stints in the mines to the north of town, because aren’t there monsters down there???? 

Not to mention you apparently have a nasty habit of falling asleep in town instead of at your farmhouse?? Where you should be sleeping?? Hello?????

Plus the acts of literal deforestation you’ve apparently been enacting outside of Seb’s house? (with robin’s permission, but still)

He is so confused

The flower dance rolls around

You don’t ask anyone to dance, but you do make your rounds, making sure to talk to everyone—even Clint and Mr. Mullner, and he’s especially surprised when he spots you talking to the homeless guy that lives behind Seb’s house

He’s interested to get to know you, but isn’t self-aware enough to examine the underlying intentions there

Over the course of your friendship, he starts feeling things he didn’t know he could

When you defend him with Lewis, when you take the blame for the egg incident—and when you arrive to the bus stop twenty minutes early for their gig in the city—even though you hate the city

You dressed up for the occasion, and Sam almost drops his guitar case in the dirt when he sees you

You help them load up their equipment into the bus, and Sam can’t stop looking at you

Asks to sit next to you during the drive

You share his earbuds and he shows their music to you

You both bob your heads to the beat, and your thighs are pressing together, but he's the only one who notices

He wants to hold your hand so bad

And then when he’s on stage, he’s got anxiety bubbling in his gut, but one look at you standing in the front row has him jumping headfirst into the set with a wild grin on his face

He catches you buying one of their band shirts and a CD from outside the venue

He gets breathless every time he sees you wearing it around town after that

You wear it when you hand him the bouquet, too, and he swears he could fall to his knees

Seb

He doesn’t like you

Even before you showed up, he didn’t like you

For weeks, you were all anyone could talk about

He couldn’t make it through one conversation without hearing about you, and it drove him nuts

He didn’t understand the allure, or the interest, and he was genuinely irritated every time you were mentioned

Like a song that you overplay so much that you end up hating it?

Yeah. exactly like that

When he meets you, he’s even more put off because he doesn’t understand you

He doesn’t understand why you’d leave the city to go to Pelican Town

He understands the allure of a gigantic swathe of land waiting to be claimed, but still. 

Pelican Town???

Also weirded out by how eager you are to make friends, and the first time you gift him a quartz crystal, he doesn’t know how to react—mainly he’s just afraid about how you knew he liked them because he knows for a fact that he's never told you

But even though you make him uncomfortable at first, he’s not going to be outright rude to you or go out of his way to be a dickhead

And honestly, you’re still nice

You’re weird, and he’s never seen the land around his house so devoid of trees before, but that’s really as far as his opinion goes

his mother isn’t stressing nearly as much about bills anymore due to your commissions, so he’s kind of glad about that

But you’re so different from him, and he’s pretty committed to getting the hell out of pelican town, so what does it matter? He’s not going to be around for long enough to make a real friend out of you

Oh, Sebby

He immediately changes his tune the first time you give him sashimi

It was surprising that you didn’t make up a story or give an excuse for it, either

You waltzed into his room like you owned the place, waited until he was finished with work (which was… a new experience for him) and set the container on his corner shelf

“You like sashimi, so I made this for you. Tell me what you think. Have a good day, Seb.” and you smiled at him, and maybe you didn’t notice the way his ears flushed bright red, or maybe you were just too nice to point it out

And it was good sashimi

It wasn’t a special occasion, it wasn’t a prank, and he was dead confused because you’d only exchanged a few hellos and stilted conversations that altogether totaled a grand three minutes, so he had no idea how you knew again

Worked up the courage to ask

Everything clicked into place when you told him that his mother and half-sister mentioned it to you

And then he was stuck with the knowledge that you talked about him to other people—that you even asked about him

You’re respectful of his time and boundaries, you speak kindly to him, show an interest in his hobbies, and he’s amassed a small collection of frozen tears and quartz crystals lined on his shelves

He orders stands for every last one, dusts them all regularly, and when you give him an obsidian stone, he starts carrying it around with him in his pocket, just because

He fights with himself for months before he can admit to himself that he has a crush on you

Definitely has that “oh no” moment lmao

Can’t look at you for a little while, but once he gets over that, he can’t stop looking

Takes longer to admit it to anyone else, and doesn’t intend to admit it to you

You throw a wrench in that plan eventually :)

Alex

We all know he finds you attractive right off the bat

Which—obviously, why wouldn’t he? (<3)

But unlike Shane, for example, he’s readily kind and eager to talk to someone other than his grandparents or Haley

He might be attracted to you, but he’ll try his best not to let that color his interactions as much

There are moments where he slips up, but there’s no negative intentions there

And because he knows himself, he figures whatever mini-crush he’s developing will eventually go away

When it doesn't, he gets really down on himself

Starts thinking about you constantly, and rethinking all of your interactions so far

Kind of ashamed of how he treated you

You’ve always been so kind to him, and so supportive of his goal to go pro

But he’s never really… reciprocated that

It takes him a long while to work up the courage to apologize

He wishes he didn’t do it while in the middle of a workout, but the moment felt right otherwise

It helped that it was just you and him, because you’re so damn popular with the rest of the town that he can rarely get a moment alone with you

And just like he figured you would, you accept his apology without any fanfare, and then turn right around and encourage him again

He’s got hearts in his eyes, trust

His crush builds over the course of months, and the moment it’s solidified is when you catch him on the beach, reminiscing about his mother

You don’t judge him for his tears, and even though you laugh when he asks you to keep it under lock and key, the sound is bright in his ears like wind chimes

And you still kept his secret

Alex is gone on you from that moment, 100%

You’re kind, and attractive, and you treat him so well it almost makes him feel insecure

When he’s working at the ice cream stand during the summer, there are plenty of times where he’s almost scooped out of the wrong tray because he was busy thinking about you

He’s never felt this way about anyone

All of his crushes have been super shallow in the past, but this is different

They were all physical, but he fantasizes about living on the farm with you, and wonders what kind of partner you’d be on the regular

Sticks his face in the freezer when his thoughts veer into less innocent territory (he thought about how you might like to kiss him)

Haley makes fun of him about it lmfao

Y’all don’t figure your shit out until year two, probably during the dance of the moonlight jellies

You ask him to watch them with you, and with the glow of the ocean illuminating your face, you hand him the bouquet

He accepts it (duh) and tries to play it cool, but he’s cheesing for the rest of the night

Elliott

Sees you fishing on the beach after an early morning spent in the mines

He walks out of his cabin to stretch his legs after a long night sitting at his writing desk

He’s only been in Pelican Town for a year himself, but he notices a new face right off the bat

You’ve got your legs hanging off the edge of the pier, fishing rod in hand, and two buckets next to you (one for bait, the other for your catches)

Elliott knows you’re the new farmer immediately

Though he’s not entirely sure why a farmer would need a sword, or a shoulder guard

He’s not intending to introduce himself to you, but when you look up and lock eyes with him, there’s a sudden tug in his chest

He believes in soulmates, I’ll just say that

Then you wave at him and smile, and he walks up without thinking about it

You take your fishing rod out of the water and set it aside, getting up to introduce yourself, and Elliott is fond of you already

Anyone who prioritizes the person they’re speaking to is going to be very attractive to him

And because Elliott’s a little sensitive, he tends to take it the wrong way when the person he’s speaking to doesn’t give him their full attention

One of my personal hcs is that he came from a rich family that never paid any real attention to him or valued his input

So when you give that to him without a second thought, he knows he’ll get along with you just fine

He’s curious about you in the beginning, but that’s as far as allows himself to take it

He thinks of you as a friend, or at least he tries to

Maybe it was the way the sunlight streaming through his windows caught your eyes as you inspected his struggling rose, or maybe it was the soft smiles you gave him when he would find crabs in his shirt pocket, but he’s constantly catching himself thinking about you

He plays it cool for the most part

But then you gift him a bottle of squid ink, mentioning how you noticed his stock getting low during your last visit, and the gears in his head make a funny noise

During the long process of writing his book, there were many times he was cemented in place by his writer’s block

But when his brisk walks through town and his piano breaks weren’t enough to spark inspiration, even a short conversation with you was enough for his fingers to twitch

You make him enjoy his art again, and he doesn’t care if someone notices the similarities between you and the protagonist of his book

Finally embraces it and dedicates his book to you

He knows he’s probably being so obvious about his feelings, but your face flushes brightly when he tells you during his reading at the library

If I’m honest, I don’t think he’s actually capable of having crushes on people

He feels everything so deeply that he might just fall straight into the ‘smitten’ category, but he swears that something about you is different

When you hand him the bouquet, he doesn’t blame fate, or any cosmic forces

None of them hold a candle to your power over him, anyway

Shane

We know how this guy is

Or rather, we know how he acts

He’s not at all curious, and he would rather you leave him alone entirely, but it’s not because he hates you or anything

He just doesn’t know you

But most everyone in town looks at him with pity, and he can’t stand another person looking at him like that

He’d rather you just not like him at all, so at least your expression will be different

Except you’re a persistent little shit

Every request he sticks on the board outside Pierre’s will be completed within the first few hours of the day, and he knows every time that it’ll be you, with whatever he’s asked for in your hands and an eager smile on your face

You always make time to talk to him, you smile at him on your way to whatever it is you get up to in your free time, and he’s pretty sure you’ve spent a small fortune on pizza and beer for him at the saloon

You laugh at his jokes, you listen to him rant about Morris and shitty customers without a shred of complaint—you make him feel like he’s actually worth listening to

The first time he’s properly mean to you is when he’s on his way to work

He’s finally accepted that you want something to do with him, and you’re tentative friends now, so it isn’t on purpose, but it’s still his fault

It’s cold outside, he hasn’t had a drink in two days, and he can’t drink before work if he wants to keep his job, so his withdrawals are bad

The wounded look on your face when he snaps at you swims behind his eyelids for his whole shift

He’s fighting tears back for the rest of the day, and his self-talk is the worst it’s been in a long time

He’s convinced he’s driven you away for good, and while part of him is almost glad that he’s managed to do it, the other, much louder part of him, is breaking apart because he’s really and truly fucked up with you

He’s at the saloon that night, already two beers in, when you waltz in

He makes eye contact with you out of habit, and your smile falters, just a bit

He feels like shit immediately, and looks down into his pint

For the first time he realizes that having you hate him feels infinitely worse than how it would if you pitied him

But with that knowledge, he reserves himself to his fuck-up

Even though he knows he should apologize, because that’s the right thing to do, he figures it’d be better for you if he just kept to himself and left you be

Until you plop down on the stool next to him at the bar, with a drink of your own

“Hey, grumpy. Do you feel like tolerating some company now?”

Stares at you in surprise for what feels like a minute before he stares into his pint again, squinting and trying to find anything wrong with it

You chuckle at him and guide him into setting down his beer

“No one spiked your drink, knucklehead, it’s me”

Was convinced that you’d want nothing to do with him, but then you order a pizza for the two of you, and he’s struck clean through by how… normal you’re being about him

Apologizes while you’re waiting for your food, and asks pretty bluntly why you’d still want to talk to him after that morning

“I figured you were just in one of your moods,” you shrug, taking a long drink from your glass, “Besides, I’ve had my moments, too. It’d be pretty hypocritical of me to get on your ass about it. But I forgive you, so quit beating yourself up about it, yeah?”

Probably doesn’t believe you’re capable of any “moments” because you’re always busting your ass to be the kindest you can possibly be

He used to think it was weird, and probably took you as the manipulative type when you first arrived, because you gave gifts and started conversations undeterred, desperate to win affection

But looking at you right then, he finally figures it out—that that’s just you

Maybe you do want everyone to like you, but your interactions with everyone have never been shallow

His chest gets tight, and he sets down his pint. He doesn’t intend on finishing it, because his vision is blurring around the edges, and he really wants to remember your conversation

Usually you’d ask him about how his shift went—if Morris was an annoying prick again, but he beats you to it while you’re in the middle of a sip 

“Tell me about your day?”

The surprise coloring your features makes him feel guilty, but he shoves that aside in favor of listening to you talk

He didn’t know you went into the mines as frequently as you did, and he has no idea what the hell a “skull cavern” is, but he hangs on every word

You both walk home together, dropping him off at Marnie’s as you go, and he flops into bed with his head swimming and a dopey smile on his face

He wakes up the next day with a hangover, but he’s off work, and he’s still got the image of your smile tattooed on his brain

“Fuck.”

Y’all he’s so dumb

Harvey

You have this man stressed out from day one, and it takes him longer than the others to realize his feelings—or develop them (longer than Shane, too. Wild isn’t it?)

He’s a little impressed with your complete lack of anxiety about most things

He’s been the valley doctor for years now, but he still doesn’t have a very personal relationship with most of the townies

But you moved in three months ago and you’re already on your way to being besties with half of the town

The only thing he’s not sure about is your apparent lack of self-preservation instincts

You’ve passed out in every part of the valley at least once, and he’s treated several broken bones and serious injuries of yours by the time summer rolls around

he’s worried about you—as the valley doctor, he practically holds everyone’s lives in his hands, and there are patients that he’s lost in the past and can’t forget about

So making sure everyone is taking care of themselves is already nerve-wracking enough without throwing someone like you in the mix

You, who can’t go one week without some incident happening

He’s started up a tentative friendship with Marlon up at the guild, if only for the many times he’s carried you down to the clinic with varying level of injuries littering your skin

But you’re aware of the stress you bring him, and over time, you start improving

You get better at defending yourself in the mines, and he hasn’t found you passed out in front of someone’s porch in at least two months

That doesn’t sound like a long time, but given your track record, it’s impressive

And you’ve made a habit out of bringing him a coffee twice a week as a silent apology/thank you

He appreciates the caffeine, and your efforts to not stress him out

And during your check-up, he’s surprised to find that you’re actually—all things considered—pretty healthy

You bashfully admit that you’ve been trying to take better care of yourself so he doesn’t have to worry, and even though there’s no way he won’t worry, he appreciates it nonetheless

He properly realizes his feelings when you watch the plane fly overhead together

You’ve got your head poked out his apartment window, trying to catch a glimpse of the plane

He’s watching you carefully, making sure you don’t lean too far out, when it hits him

He’s not sure why, but you’ve got the sun shining on your face as you squint through your fingers to look at the sky, and the smile on your face when you spot the plane is brilliant

His breath leaves him in a silent gasp, and he doesn’t really care that he doesn’t get to take a good look at the plane, because he’d rather look at you

Over-explains his model planes to keep you around longer, but thinks about it for days afterward

Can’t stop thinking about how you looked, listening to him talk with your full attention

He doesn’t have many friends, and no one has ever shown a real and true interest in his hobbies—most people have found him dorky for it, but not you

He can tell the model of a plane based on the shadow of it in the sky and the sound of its motor, and you never fail to point one out and ask him which one it is

The glee on your face when he picks it out easily will never fail to make him smile

For what feels like the first time in his life, he can impress someone

His family is full of successful people: lawyers, musicians, a few unsavory cousins of his have turned to politics, and there’s more than a few pilots as well. Him being a doctor was never impressive to the people around him growing up—it was expected

He didn’t get much praise, forever overshadowed by everyone else in his family

Fake praise grinds his gears, but he knows it’s never anything but the truth when it comes from you

And the fact that it comes from you, who took up the mantle of your grandfather and turned the farm around from its steady decay and deterioration with your bare hands?

His confidence always jumps a level or two when you compliment him, because if you like him and think he’s cool, then he must be, you know?

A few weeks later, when he sees you standing outside the clinic through the window, he’s a little confused

He’s pretty sure you’ve already given him his caffeine for the week, but when he walks out to ask you what’s up, he sees the bouquet in your hands

He’s your doctor, and because he’s your doctor, he knows the blush on your cheeks and the scattered eye contact isn’t indicative of anything but nerves

You’re both practically steaming with how hard you’re blushing, and he gently takes the bouquet out of your hands

He doesn’t mind that he didn’t get to be a pilot. If he had, he doesn’t think he would’ve met you, and with the scent of flowers in his nose and your image etched into his memory, there’s nothing he’d hate more aw you guys are so cute

[yurisorcerer]

This is an interesting one. I kept going back and forth on it while watching the premiere but I think I'd say my overall impressions are positive? It's complicated.

What we have here is a future setting where massive flooding has sunk a good chunk of humanity. The state of things is telegraphed via the small-seeming islands that our protagonists live on; lots of overgrown buildings, using oil lamps for light and heat, that kind of thing. In the midst of all this we're introduced to our lead, Natsuki, who's being lent a submersible by his "friend", the generally scummy Catherine. While diving for salvage into what used to be the city he grew up in, he finds an android sealed in a capsule. This is the titular Atri, and the rest of the episode is about Natsuki, Catherine, and innocent schoolgirl(?) Minamo interacting with her.

Their interactions are a bit fraught and this is where I started getting a bit skeptical. Catherine's first instinct is to sell Atri despite the fact that the robo-girl is clearly human in all but biology, and the idea is taken seriously throughout the episode. Our characters go so far as to head to an appraiser. My immediate first reaction to this was very negative, and it's definitely still possible that Atri (the show) will faceplant here, but I *think* what we're actually doing is drawing a parallel between Atri herself and Natsuki with regard to the commodification of bodies. Natsuki, you see, is disabled, and only gets around with a prosthetic leg (which is noted to be old and finnicky; it locks up on him a few times throughout the episode and he has to break out an extendable cane). Natsuki needs money for a replacement prosthetic, something that will just allow him to live a comparably normal life, and Atri is considered a faulty machine---the appraiser outright calls her a collector's item. There's a difference in what *kind* of struggles they're facing, but the connection is there, or at least the show seems to think it is. At the episode's conclusion, Atri offers "I'll be your leg!" to Natsuki. It's definitely meant to read as heartwarming, but it's a touchy subject to be sure, and I'm not sure how well the show handles it.

In general this seems like it could be a recurring problem. The series is definitely treating Atri's status as a trade good as a bad thing, but there's still something weirdly patronizing about the way she's immediately super grateful to Natsuki for, say, buying her shoes. (I would argue that if you're responsible for another human being, keeping them clothed is a pretty basic thing.) I think I'll want to give this a few more episodes, seeing how it handles this whole setup, before I come down firmly on one side of liking its writing or not.

The visuals are a much less complicated thing to enjoy, though. They're honestly just pretty great! I've seen a few people say that they're bad which really puzzled me, the character animation is excellent throughout this first episode and the environments are fantastic. It may just be the title and the fact that I've watched it recently, but some of the shoreside scenes actually reminded me a little bit of AIR, another A-title anime based on a visual novel, just in how well they convey the feeling of summer, even if the overall goals of these anime are clearly quite different. The CGI isn't the best, but it's kept to a minimum and restricted to places where it logically makes sense, such as the submersible itself, so I wasn't bothered. Also there's a visual trick early on where some of Natsuki's memories of living on the surface play out through the port windows of the sub, and that's just really a lovely thing.

Enjoyed this overall I'd say, looking forward to seeing how Natsuki deals with the legacy of his late marine geologist mean butch grandma over the next few episodes.

[allthewhumpygoodness]

*tw for implications of child abuse

LISTEN though the idea of someone through some loophole catching some old timey disease in the modern world is...interesting. Like the levels here are All Good, you've got:

Caretakers panicking not knowing what's wrong with them because their symptoms are unfamiliar

Only to either take them to a doctor or do some research and realize oh THAT'S what they've got?? What is this, 1850??

Knowing they'll make it through because luckily they do have modern medicine, but also knowing it might be a long, tough ride

Possible backstory angst if the reason they were never vaccinated against it as a child was due to some form of neglect from their parents/guardians

But the comfort of knowing the people around them are immune even if they weren't, being reassured that they won't give their sickness to anyone helping them

Getting tested and waiting anxiously for the results, the caretaker actually hoping it IS said old timey disease because then at least they'll know what to do, but if it's not they don't have any idea what it could be

The whumpee just being incredibly embarrassed to admit of all things, that's what they caught

[sevlgi]

the florist pt. 2

requested: yes

group: dreamcatcher

pairing: jiu x fem!reader

genre: angst, questionable fluff

contents: hanahaki!au, florist!jiu.  read part 1 here.

warnings: death

synopsis:  Minji’s drawing away. You know that; you can see it, and you can feel it deep in your bones. But when you finally realize the pain afflicting her, will it be too late for you to save her?

a/n: I’M SORRY THIS IS BASICALLY FULL ANGST ASLKDFFDSKJN... i’ll do a part 3 if y’all want it 😬

word count: 3.6k

Sometimes, the arrival of a new person changes the way you see things.

That fact had been true for Minji for years; meeting people always taught her something new, whether it was about the world or about herself. And yet, no one had ever been able to change her thoughts about her 6 closest friends, until she found a beautiful girl in her flower shop, begging for help with the blooms in her lungs.

She didn’t mean to resent Siyeon. She shouldn’t have-- you were a stranger, just another person that used your personal connection to her friends to guilt her into helping you. But when Minji saw how dismissive you were to even the possibility of asking Siyeon to save your life, she realized something about her friend, and she realized something about you.

On one hand, Siyeon knew what she could or couldn’t do to help others. Minji had seen her go out of her way to pick up a fallen grocery basket for someone or help an old lady across the street, but she would never try to lift a car to save someone underneath. She knew her limits, and Minji had to accept that it wasn’t selfish of her to protect herself.

But on the other hand, you were selfless. Too much so, really. You hated the thought of inconveniencing the girl you loved, even if it meant that you would die. It took too long for you to convince yourself to even ask Gahyeon for help, just because you knew how touchy of a subject it was for her.

Maybe Minji loved that about you, at the same time that she hated it. And maybe it was something that she hated about herself as she stared at the speckled purple blossoms swimming about in the toilet bowl.

“Shit,” she whispered, wiping droplets of blood off her lips. “It’s getting worse.”

“Obviously.”

Gahyeon looked more grim than sympathetic as she offered a box of tissues to the older girl. She experienced the disease herself for long enough that she knew how painful it was, and she was smart enough to know that Minji didn’t have much time. “How long has it been?”

“8 months.” Minji gingerly plucked petals out from under her tongue, flicking them away. “I met Y/N 8 months ago.”

She could’ve smiled just by saying your name, but she kept her face solemn as Gahyeon did the math in her head. “8 months. It takes 3 months to fall in love, but knowing you, it was probably shorter.”

Minji rolled her eyes, taking a sip of water. “Watch it.”

“I’m just saying,” Gahyeon protested. “But at most, you’ve had Hanahaki for 7 or 8 months. So why are you basically on your deathbed? Y/N told me she loved Siyeon unnie nearly 2 years before she even bothered to ask me for help.”

“Maybe my heart is just weak,” the florist sighed, leaning her head against the wall. “It’s my fault, I fell for a client. A client, Gahyeon, how stupid am I?”

The younger girl scooted closer, wrapping her arms softly around Minji. “You aren’t. Okay? Y/N is amazing, and if I wasn’t so hung up on... if I had the time for it, I could see myself loving her too. You should--”

“Don’t,” Minji warned, eyes narrowing. “Don’t tell me to tell her. I can’t put that on her, and I can’t let her know that I’m in... that I’m in pain because of her.”

“You’re one and the same, you know that?” Gahyeon shook her head. “The exact same.”

But no matter how much she griped, Minji knew that her friend wouldn’t reveal the secret, not until she was lying on her deathbed. She was trustworthy, and she would leave Minji to her own solutions if she asked for it.

Finding a real solution was what would become the problem.

“Hey, Minji!”

Even though you felt awkward with your shoulder pressed up to your face and bags in your hand, you smiled as you squeezed the phone closer to your face. The florist hadn’t picked up on your call, but you didn’t fault her for being busy. “Uh, I’m coming to you to make Gahyeon’s cake like we promised.”

You cursed as you dropped one of the grocery bags, taking your phone in your hand to finish the message so you could check out. “I’m almost there, so wait up for me! I got some special supplies for you too.”

Rounding the corner onto the Love Blossom, you fished your keys out from your pocket. There was a pink jewel-studded one on the chain, new as of just 8 months ago, but it felt like it had always belonged there as you twisted the lock and pushed the glass door open.

To your surprise, Gahyeon was waiting inside, almost looking like she was shielding the door to Minji’s apartment. “Hey, Gahyeonie,” you greeted, attempting to wave. “Good to see you.”

“Hi, Y/N. What’re those for?” she asked, nodding her head at the bags. “Baking again?”

“Yeah, you know me.” You craned your neck, trying to see if Minji was fixing a bouquet somewhere, but you didn’t find the brunette anywhere. Gahyeon, standing smack in the middle of the shop and blocking the door, didn’t help. “Is Minji here?”

“Oh, yeah. She’s just... finishing something.” The younger girl’s smile was disarming, obviously hiding something and yet innocent enough that you could’ve just been paranoid. “You don’t mind waiting, do you?”

Your eyes narrowed, but you shook your head. “So, uh, how’s Siyeon?”

Gahyeon softened at that, sighing, “Still not ready to see you. I’m sorry, she... she feels guilty now, that Minji and I had to help you not die.”

“It’s okay.” To be honest, it was true; despite all the feelings you’d invested into her, Siyeon couldn’t break you just yet, not even after you barely recovered from the Hanahaki disease. “I’ll give her time.”

“I’m grateful for that,” the other girl smiled, squeezing your arm. “On her behalf.”

Before either of you could say something more, the hidden door creaked open to reveal a Minji that was decidedly more gaunt than when you had last seen her. Her cheeks were hollow, lips pale and dark circles unable to be hidden by the layers of makeup she wore. “Oh. Hey, Y/N, what’re you doing here?”

You raised the bags in your hand in answer. “Baking? We agreed a couple weeks ago.”

“Oh!” Minji attempted an apologetic smile, though you still got the feeling that she didn’t really remember. “Right. Gahyeon, I’m fine, you can go home.”

“Are you sure?” the younger girl eyed the florist critically. “Because--”

“Gahyeon. I’m good.” Minji’s tone left no room for argument, and Gahyeon merely waved at you before making her way out. Finally only the two of you left in the shop, the brunette opened her door for you. “Sorry about that. Come in?”

Despite not really wanting to overstep, you blurted out, “So. What was that about? If you’re sick, I can easily go home and bake there...”

“No, I’m good!” Minji tried her best to grin, but something was just lacking. You also noted that she did her best not to touch you, skirting around the kitchen table to be on the other side. “Did you get chocolate like I asked?”

“I did,” you nodded, accepting the fact that she wouldn’t talk about it until she was ready. After all those months, you learned that when Minji was stubborn, there really was nothing that could change her mind. “Chocolate because Gahyeon likes it, but I also got vanilla to make cupcakes for anyone who doesn’t like it?”

She clapped and you played along by bowing, though she stopped so she could start to taking ingredients out of the bag for you. “Oh-- what’s this?” she frowned at the can of coconut cream she held in her hand.

“That--” you snatched it out of her hand-- “is for you. I learned how to make coconut mousse recently, and I thought that while I’m here, I might as well treat you.”

Minji opened her mouth to speak with a smile, but she was interrupted with a sudden fit of coughing. You reached to grab water for her, concern parting your lips, but she waved you away. “I- I’m fine. A bit of a cold, that’s all, I’ll be right back.”

With that, she ascended to her loft again, leaving you with coconut cream in your hands and confusion written all over your face. In all the 8 months that you had known her, Minji hadn’t gotten sick once; she brought you chicken soup when you got the flu and miraculously avoided it, claiming herself to have “immunity superpowers” with that amazingly infectious smile. So it was weird for her to be so affected by a simple cough.

But as you turned back to your cake recipe, you tried to write it off. After all, she’d saved you already... she didn’t owe you any explanations.

Yubin was sweet. A lot quieter than Minji, but she was that calm kind of funny that didn’t really require being boisterous to invoke laughter from you, and you definitely didn’t mind it. “Thank you for coming to shop with me,” you mentioned as you bent down to stare at the label on a folded jacket. “Minji said she’d come, but she’s really busy lately.”

“Yeah, she can be like that sometimes,” Yubin shrugged, pointing a decorative cup out to you. “She insists that she doesn’t like to burden us or whatever.”

“That’s bullshit, but it sounds like her,” you sighed. You folded the jacket over your arm and picked up the cup on your way to the register, Yubin following with her gift for Gahyeon already hanging on her arm. “But I can’t help but think that she’s hiding something from me... just me.”

The younger girl raised an eyebrow. “Really? I mean, Minji’s been quiet recently, but I don’t think she’s treating you any different. If anything, she’s nicer to you than she is to the rest of us.”

You chuckled at that and passed your credit card over the counter. “Right. She is being really nice to me, almost weirdly nice. You know, I brought my baking supplies over to her the other day, and she didn’t even try to throw flour in my face. It’s weird.”

“You’re right that that doesn’t sound like Minji,” Yubin frowned, opening the shop’s door for you as you walked out. “I don’t know, she’s like a different person after meeting you. Doesn’t talk to Siyeon much--”

At the guilty expression on your face, she stopped talking. “Y/N, it isn’t your fault. Minji... she’s just too kind. She never understood how our friend, who saw the effects of Hanahaki herself, could just let you die.”

“Isn’t it my fault though?” You tilted your head to the sky, observing the fluffy white clouds that floated over the skyscrapers of Seoul. “I gave her that responsibility of healing me, she wouldn’t have given a shit if she didn’t have to heal me.”

“Well, if you think that, then you still don’t know Minji well enough.” The other girl laughed softly, shaking her head. “See, it’s less about letting you die and more about letting someone else die. We all know that Siyeon-unnie couldn’t love you on command, but Minji thinks she was callous with how she rejected you.”

“Yubin...”

She held up a hand so that you’d let her continue to talk. “See, she’s selfless. She could’ve turned you away, no matter how much Gahyeon tried to convince her, but she didn’t. Minji can’t handle the thought of not doing something when she could, but she would also never impose on others.”

“Do you think that’s what’s happening?” you asked suddenly. “Is she sick or something, and won’t tell us?”

Yubin hesitated to answer, her expression conflicted. “I want to say no. But it’s... more likely than not.”

You almost reached for your phone, but you remembered how curt Minji’s text messages had been in the past month, and how often she had blown you off. “Huh. Well, I guess we’ll just have to ask her tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Coffee?” your new friend offered, stopping in front of a small coffee store. You followed her in, more and more worried about the florist as you thought about her. Your heart was beating uncomfortably in your chest again, as quick as it had been when you had Hanahaki, just without the unrequited love clogging your lungs like so many months ago.

You leaped onto Bora’s back as soon as you saw her, laughing as she shrieked. Gahyeon, who had been talking to Bora, grinned at the sight of you in your sparkly outfit. “Gahyeonie, happy birthday!”

“Thanks, Y/N.” She took the gift from your hands to set it down on a table, Bora hitching you up higher on her back. “Now that you’re here, will you convince Handong-unnie to let me see the cake?”

“Not a chance,” you sing-songed, sticking your tongue out at the pouting birthday girl. “I spent hours on that cake, I’m not letting you see it before the grand reveal with Minji. Where is she, by the way?”

“Minji?” Bora frowned, finally giving up and letting you down onto the floor. The petite woman scanned the apartment with her lips pursed, swishing her specialty punch in the cup she held. “Mm. I don’t think I’ve seen her today.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at that, and you stepped further into the living room to try and catch the florist among the throng of celebrators. “Really? That’s unlike her, I would’ve thought she’d be here first.”

“I think Siyeon stepped up for organization this time,” Gahyeon offered. “I can... ask her for you?”

You were tempted to agree; after all, it had been nearly a year and a half since you had confessed and gotten painfully pushed away. But then, you had to know where Minji was for yourself-- any information, even if it was given to you by Gahyeon, wasn’t trustworthy unless you heard it for yourself. “It’s fine,” you sighed. “I’ll go.”

“Y/N, are you sure?” Bora asked quietly, catching you in your stride with her hands on your arm. “She’s not exactly friendly towards you.”

“I’m good,” you smiled in an attempt to reassure her. “Really.”

Once you left the two behind, it wasn’t tough to find Siyeon. She stood in the kitchen with Handong, laughing at some joke or the other that you couldn’t hear over the music. To your alarm, your heart hurt a little bit at how beautiful she looked, blonde hair lengthened by extensions and lips colored; but it wasn’t the disease, just a normal twinge of remaining heartbreak as you approached her. “Hey.”

She didn’t turn until the hostess pushed her to. “Y/N. Hello.”

You pursed your lips at her attitude. “Look, I don’t want to talk to you either. All I need to know is where Minji is.”

“Minji...” Siyeon frowned at that, turning to look at Handong, who shrugged. “She still hasn’t shown up? The party started hours ago...”

Handong offered, “She texted me a little while ago, she said she had a cough? It’s not like Minji to be sick, but I’m sure a cough is no problem.”

“A cough?”

The three of you turned to find Gahyeon behind you, her expression a mixture of grim and absolutely horrified. “Gahyeonie..?” Siyeon asked, panic seeping into her voice just like it did yours.

“Y/N, you need to come with me” was the youngest’s only answer as she grabbed onto your wrist. “We don’t have enough time, Bora can drive you to the LB. And--”

“Hey, Gahyeon, what the hell is going on?” you asked, quieting yourself when she hushed you. “Is Minji sick? And if she is, why wouldn’t you tell us? We can buy her medicine--”

“She has Hanahaki.” Your eyes widened immediately and you stopped in your tracks, ignoring Gahyeon tugging at you. She gave up, and tried to soften her words. “Y/N... Minji loves you. And you don’t love her back.”

You stammered, attempting to find the right words to respond. But there didn’t seem to be any-- none of the sentences on the tip of your tongue could even come close to describing what you wanted to say, so you could only settle or saying, “What?”

Gahyeon pinched her lips together, typing something furiously on her phone. “Yeah. It’s progressing too fast, I think, she was on the brink of death when you saw her last. Coughing out full blossoms already, and I’ve already found her choking on her own blood twice.”

“But...” Your mind raced, trying your best to find an explanation. “I’ve only known her for 10 months.”

“That’s how much she loves you, I guess,” Gahyeon shrugged, turning as Bora bounded down the stairs. “Please save her. It might be too late, but- but I don’t want Minji to die without seeing you one last time.”

Bora grabbed you then, not giving you a minute to even ask if it was okay to leave. It was a short bound to her car in the driveway, and the both of you seemed just as desperate to reach the florist when Bora pressed down on the pedals with close to her full force.

You came dangerously close to crashing into at least 10 cars, and you were sure that you had run a red light, but there was nothing else on your mind as you slammed the car door closed and kicked the door to the flower shop right open. “Minji!” you shouted, craning your neck to try and see up to the loft. “Minji, where are you?!”

At the sound of some weak coughing, you were leaping up the stairs, gripping onto the banisters to move even faster. And there she was, looking all too frail and weak in her bed.

There was a spray of blood on the pale pink comforter, wrapped around her body with minimal effort, and Minji’s eyes were barely fluttering open. “Y/N,” she croaked, hand creeping up to touch your face as you fell to your knees right next to her. Her voice was hoarse, almost gone from the months of coughing up mallow blossoms and blood. “You came.”

“I... of course I came.” Your voice was shaky, and there were hot tears already spilling down your face. “Minji, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Not- not your responsibility,” she coughed out. “I couldn’t let you feel guilty for what’s happening to me. It’s not your fault, Y/N, that you don’t love me.”

You sobbed out at that, wiping your eyes roughly with the palms of your hands. “Minji, please...”

The girl lying before you could barely be called a shell of Minji, and no matter what you said, it could only be your fault that her eyes were as sunken as a skull’s. It could only be your face that her wrist was as delicate as that of a bird, that her hand wasn’t even able to support the weight of your head as you slumped down to sob next to her.

There was nothing bright shining in those brown eyes anymore, none of the light that exploded into a thousand golden sparkles whenever you baked her favorite pastries or arranged a bouquet just right. There was no smile on her parched lips, no laughter shaking her entire body or a stupid joke that no one really understood.

All the memories of the Minji that you remembered flooded into your mind, like videos flickering over the nearly-dead girl that you could see in front of you. Minji when she spent hundreds of dollars for your birthday bouquet, Minji when she took you as a plus-one to her favorite concert. Minji when she smiled at coconut tarts, Minji when she presented you with your very own apron for the shop.

Was there something I could’ve said to make your heart beat better?

Said. As what could’ve been Minji’s last breaths began to escape her lungs, your head shot up and your heads reached out to cradle her to your chest, your lips moving faster than you could’ve ever imagined to say those three words out loud. “I love you. Kim Minji, I love you I love you I love you so much, please don’t leave me--”

You couldn’t feel her breathing against you with the force of the sobs racking your entire body, rocking back and forth on the edge of her bed with your hands wrapped around what was left of her familiar frame. “Please,” you cried, her hair damp against your cheek with your own tears. “Please...”

And with the last plea that escaped your lips, she drew in a rattling breath, only to cough it back out with a good 2 blossoms or so. You gasped, holding her away from you and patting her back to help as Minji vomited purple speckled blossoms onto her bed. 

“You said it,” she rasped, collapsing. All you could do was continue to cry, the salt of your tears finally tasting sweet on your lips instead of bitter like they did when you thought that the girl you loved was dead. 

“Thank you.”

[btswishes]

She what?

Jungkook x reader

Part1 / ...

A/N: Kookie needs more stories added to his masterlist section, so I am bringing you guys this. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you like it.

Word count:  2,906

Warnings: Swearing.

                  -----------------------------------------------------------------

  “Y/N! Get up it’s time for school!” your mom’s voice echoed in the house so loudly ,that even the people waiting for you outside heard her. 

“I am up!” you mirrored her energy, while running around your room “Ok ok, books, pens, ummm AH! Homework!” you were wearing only one sock on your left leg and over all looked like a mess “I swear I won’t stay up today till 3am, it really fucks me up hard!”  

“Y/N!” your mom yelled out again 

“I KNOW! FUCK!” 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!”

“NOTHING!” throwing the bag on your back, you took a quick glance in the mirror. Fixing up the things that weren’t in order ,you looked presentable enough for school. This wasn’t a fashion show after all.

  Your footsteps filled up the house when you said goodbye to your mom and dashed outside. Leaning onto your knees you took deep and sharp breaths, trying to calm down your fight or flight reaction to oversleeping.

“Look who it is.” moving up, your eyes focused onto that familiar beanie, trying to keep in check all those dark and wild curls. 

“Whip that look off your face Kook.” Yoongi murmured under his nose “We had to drag your ass out of bed. You ain’t any better than her.” Jungkook reached and pulled you up by your hand 

“Don’t look down with this pretty face kitten.” he was smug, knowing oh so well that he was good at flirting.

“Calm yourself hot stuff. Cats also have claws.” you pulled back with a playful wink his way, which pulled out a scoff out of him. With a jump in your step you grabbed Yoongi’s arm and started pulling everyone to school. 

  A quick stop at your friend Mina’s house and you were on your way again to the 4 wall jail. 

“I see Yoongi is lookin disgusted.” she needed only one glance at him to know what happened “Let me guess, Y/N and Jungkook are being flirty earlier than usual.” Mina sighed proceeding to ask the obvious question “Yall seem to like each other, why not just, um i don’t know. Date!”

“Mina, you are misunderstanding.” Jungkook patted her shoulder 

“Me and Jungkook are just friends. He is just shitty and stuck up, thinking he is so good at flirting. I am just showing him that those skills are mad trash and won’t work on me.” you turned to look at him “Even if he chocked me!”

“Damn, you don’t have to say your kinks out loud like that sweetie.” Jungkook ran his hand gently through your hair, leaving the sensation of a light tugging  “Leave that for when we are alone.” 

“EW! I can’t with you two!” Jimin rustled his hair, shaking his head aggressively 

“ Ok ok, let’s change the subject.”Namjoon stop the conversation from drifting into a huge mess “Can we stop for a sec? I need to go buy pens.” there was a small store next to the school. Size aside, they were always stocked up with good materials since all the students visited frequently. 

  While Namjoon was buying writing supplies, Jin pulled you to the side with an alibi of fix your hair.

“Ok what is up with you and Kook lately?” he kept pulling out small clips and all kinds of things, from last night’s 3am glow up attempt 

“What do you mean?” 

“Lately all this flirting has been a bit...” 

“Too direct?” you tried to help Jin out

“Personal.” his voice was serious, the word cutting almost through the air around you “ Are we going to act like Jungkook didn’t bring kinks in a public convo?”

“He is just being the same dork as always.” you laughed out, crossing your arms in front of your chest

“I am not worried about what people are going to think of him for saying stuff like that out loud, he can deal with that himself. I am worried about miss tough bruh girl.” Jin’s lips pressed together as he looked at you. The confidence and macho behavior disappeared from your body “Are you really ok?” he turned around to make sure no one was around you two

“...honestly?” you asked him, receiving a nod “I am dyingggg Jin!”you folded like a piece of paper as the words came out “I know he is just flirting with me to prove his point, but it’s so hard to act unfazed by it. “

“Of course it is. You are head over heels for him.” Jin bluntly spoke when you hushed him, checking around yourself again

“Look. It was fine till a week ago. He became...touchy.” 

“Touchy how?” you were trying to avoid Jin’s gaze, while blushing “He um...he has been brushing his hand over me and then saying it was by mistake. He bumped into me a few days ago and got so close he almost kissed me!” your voice was a forced whisper ,as your hyper nature pushed it out from your throat like a whistle 

“He what!?” Jin gasped upon hearing all that “Shy Kook did that?” you nodded “He is a flirt, agreed. But he NEVER did anything remotely close to this. Are we 100% sure he doesn’t like you?”

“I am positive Jin. He is doing this to prove his point that any girl falls for him if he gets serious about it. Jungkook is trying to prove me wrong.”

“That is not like him t-” Namjoon’s voice pulled everyone’s attention to himself, exiting the store with a bunch of pens in hand. 

“You have like a billion of them.”  said Jin

“Yeah, but these are comfortable for exams.” Namjoon was placing them in his school bag, when Hoseok gasped 

“Wait, what do you mean for exams?” 

“We have 4 exams today.” noticing the confused faces around, Joon facepalmed himself “Yall didn’t really think they were letting us leave 3h earlier just like that, right?” the group synchronized nod was so shocking, that you could hear even Namjoon’s brain facepalm itself “I don’t know what you guys will do, just don’t fail at least.”

“Oh, I knew about the exams.” you rose your hand between the bunch of panicking creatures “Surprisingly my mom found out and made me study my ass off. I am confidant this time.” you took a few steps and stood next to Namjoon “For once i am on team Joon and honestly, I can’t lie, it feels amazing.”

“So what you are saying is that you are actually prepared for all 4 exams!?” Taehyung had to do a double check just in case he heard wrong

“Yup.”

“Better sit next to me before someone asks to cheat off you.”Namjoon said making you giggle. Your head swung in the opposite direction as you felt a strong hand grab the back of your head. Not even in a moment’s notice you came inches from Jungkook. His eyes, sharp and dark, eyeing up and down slowly.

“So this pretty head of yours got the answers?” you couldn’t move, frozen from the shock “Mind if I use some of that knowledge?”

“I- what?” you stuttered in panic.

“Jungkook you better stop acting like a kid and study!” Jin tried to be a hero and pull you by the hand, out of his grasp. Yet Kookie with an aggressive look directed towards his hyung, grabbed his wrist and curved his arm up. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” the air was tense, you could hear the silence no matter how weird that sounded. His free hand proceeded to pull you flush against himself, holding you by your waist. His hot touch felt even under the layers of clothes “I can use whatever is mine. Isn’t that right kitty cat?” 

“Jungkook don’t be a brat!” Hoseok tried to calm the atmosphere, but was met with the same energy as Jin, when he grabbed your hand. A loud smack pushed him away as Jungkook lifted you of the ground like it was nothing , throwing your body over his shoulder. His serious face changed to a childish smile when he yelled out “MINE!” and dashed towards the school building, only letting you go once you were inside and behind a wall. He was peeking to see if the others were catching up, excited from the whole situation. 

  His breath was deep and the giggling was coming out of his mouth none stop.

“Did you see the look on their face?” Jungkook turned to you, but you were still frozen from what just happened “Hey, you good?” he lowered himself to your eye level but you averted your gaze, grabbed your bag and dashed to your classroom.

“Y/N...?”

  With all the power in your legs you got to your now safe space. The desk felt secure for the first time. As you were catching your breath, Mina caught up to you. 

“What the fuck was that!” she threw her bag on the chair next to you, bashing her palms into the wooden board of your table “It was new!”

“Drop it Mina.” you didn’t want to look at her right now, but she was a persistent one 

“Nah nah, I am not doing this again. You HAVE to tell me, this isn’t formal.”   

“At this point we both need an explanation.” Jin seemed to have calmed down a bit and took a third chair, cornering you with Mina “Come on, you can trust us.” 

  A moment later you sighed deeply and looked them in the eyes. It was time to get things off your chest. “Kook is going overboard.”

“Yeah, we all saw that.”Mina drew a circle parallel to the floor, in the air “ He has been openly umm nasty.”

“Not to mention weirdly touchy.” Jin nodded as he spoke up “ He might find it fun trying to prove his stupid point, but in the end of the day you like him. It’s effecting you in more than one way.”

“ Jin is right. Acting tough like it doesn’t effect you can’t and won’t last long. What will you do when he gets a gf and stops acting like this towards you?” 

“Yes. You like it, of course but that would just crash you princess. I think you should try to move on or at least find someone else to crush over. Sounds hard but...yeah.”

“I know I know.” you grunted placing your face into your hands “It’s a mess, I shouldn’t have challenged him at all. This wouldn’t have happened at all.” 

  You were frustrated, it felt like a huge mess you made and now had to clean up on your own with only a rag and water. For a moment you forgot about the issue because of the exams. Namjoon and you were confident but not the rest of the gang, luckily Jungkook had one class with you. You were able to avoid him easily with all the running around and revising. 

  After all the stress was done, you decided to have some lunch with Jin and Mina after everyone else went home for the week. There was a moment of silence.

“Someone gonna say something?” Mina looked at you two stuffing your faces, avoiding the matter at hand “I thought we staid to talk this out.”

“You are right.” Jin sighed placing his box on top of his backpack “ The more we try to ignore it the worse it will get. I know you are frustrated Y/N but we need to do something.”

“Maybe I should really pull back and try to move on like you two said.” the floor was locking your attention in one place. 

“Or you don’t except defeat and step on his toes for once in your life.” for a three party conversation you weren’t expecting a fourth person. For a second your heart dropped till you located Taehyung

“Tae!” your body rose from the desk “Please don’t t-” he placed his hand over your mouth. The index finger of his free hand stood in front of his lips as he winked your way.  Jumping onto your desk he sat down, crossing his legs widely with his hands now in his pockets

“Relaxxx~, I am not a snitch, plus this smells to me like I can mess a bit with that little brat. His high horse has been fucking annoying all of us, well maybe expect Joon.” 

“Your plan is so bad!” Jin rolled his eyes 

“Well from what I saw so far all she did was bark back. Come on, don’t you guys see?” he flicked your forehead and leaned back after your ‘ouch’ “ She is all bark no bite. Jungkook sees her as a toy or a little puppy, nothing more. He knows he will break her down at some point.” Tae focused onto you again “Y/N you really need to grab that boy by the hair and show him that you aren’t one to be messed with.”

“On a serious note, I am on Taehyung’s side. Backing up is what he wants you to do. “ Mina clapped her hands excited about the whole plan 

“How do I even do that?” you began to panic inside again 

“First of all that attitude. Confidence is key.” Jin grabbed your shoulder “ You dress timid, I know this will sound like one of those early 2000s movies with the makeovers.” 

“But it is.” you didn’t even need to look up, you just knew. That soft yet manly voice  “What?” Jimin leaned onto Taehyung’s shoulder and smirked at you “You didn’t think I wouldn’t sniff this whole thing up, did you?”

“Guess Jimin is up for the part.”Tae fist bumped him “I got the plan already in my head.” he pulled out his phone making a small group chat with all of you in it

“We got this man!” Jimin and Tae were apparently too into the whole situation, while you were almost dripping in cold sweat 

“Ok ok.”your hands rose up “Let’s say I agree to all this. What do you want me to do?”

“Man the fuck up!” Jimin hit the table in front of you “ Pull that kid’s leash for once, he thinks he is all strong and stuff. I am so done with him and his disgusting flirting skills lately.I can’t even go to the gym without thinking about him...ugh” a shiver went through his body

“Try to be dominat for once princess.” Jin was being gentle in attempts to calm you down 

 * knock knock *

   The wood sounds creeped into your ears and your heart dropped, when you saw him. Jungkook in all his cocky glory. You panicked and grabbed your bag, trying to get past him in the most natural way possible, but his arm hit the door frame and you were staring at his veiny hand.

“Wow, where do you think you are going?” he sounded more serious than usual  “You have been ignoring me all day and then I catch all you guys having a fun looking meeting without me.” 

“I am not ignoring you, I just don’t feel that well.” you mumbled under your nose just hoping he would turn back into his old self for a moment and let you go. The day was long, filled with all kinds of emotions you weren’t ready for. You didn’t want him to be one of them. The feelings inside you were starting to bubble, there was no more space to keep them. 

“Aw.” Jungkook lifted your chin up with his finger “ I can be your medicine if you want something sweet on your tongue, baby girl.”

“Jungkook!” Jimin threw the chair back, about to start something when Taehyung grabbed his shirt stopping him “...wait...”

“Wasup hyung, why so aggressive ?” the boy leaned onto the door looking high and mighty. Your hand slowly creeped up onto Jungkook’s shoulder. His attention focused onto you once more, when your leg kicked his foot to the side. With a strong grip you pushed onto him, making the boy kneel in front of you. This was the first time he was the one looking up.

  With your free hand you swung your hair back, revealing a pissed off gaze that send a chill down Jungkook’s back, in a way he had never experienced before. 

“Listen here you little shit.” it sounded like a low growl of frustration “I said I don’t feel good, but you insist on being all macho manly and annoying me. Next time.” you squatted down slowly making him follow you as you came down to eye level “ When I say move, you will be a good little boy and what?”

“...move.” the room was shook by the fact he followed your lead calmly . You eyed his lips making him feel something beep inside his chest, as your index and middle finger gently caressed them 

“Louder!” you snapped him out of the trans as you got up suddenly. 

“I will move!” he almost yelled out

“Good.” with the bag swung over your shoulder you walked out of the room with a strong step. The moment you were outside the school, you got back to your senses and the situation sunk in. The dash you did towards your house was Olympic level. You had no idea what happened in the classroom, but you didn’t even want to think about it after what you just did.

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to RunBTS: 20-29

I’ll be totally honest here - I was kind of worried when I took this on that looking closely would end up convincing me that I was just seeing things through shipper goggles. And, sure, there are moments that have had their significance overplayed because all of the guys are touchy. But overall, I've ended up being even more convinced there's at the very least something unique about this relationship!

FYI - I started putting these notes together a few months ago, so my memory about certain episodes has grown a little hazy. In the interest of not needing to rewatch these episodes for a third time, I’ve decided that if I don’t remember much about the episode, it must not have been that memorable, and that’s reflected in the (totally subjective) rating. 

Thanks so much to everyone who shared moments I’d missed last time around - please continue to do so! 

Ep 20 "The Taste of Korea" (Ep: 4 / KM: 2)

The one with Tae’s squirrel plate and JK’s sticky sweet potatoes 

01:45 - Jimin stands super close to JK

12:55 - Jimin laughs particularly hard at JK's glazed sweet potatoes sticking to the plate

13:15 - JM and JK lock eyes as they joke about the sweet potatoes. Then Jimin continues laughing at JK's antics even when they start going on a bit too long

15:05 - Jimin is the only one to laugh when JK makes another joke about the sweet potatoes 

17:44 - JM is the only one paying enough attention to laugh with JK at Jin's comments on the sweet potatoes

Ep 21 "Board Game Competition" (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one I recall almost nothing about beyond that the room was ugly (and maybe in Chicago?)

12:44 - JK has moved next to Jimin during the cut. JK pats JM on the shoulder and starts to say something about him, but gets cut off. 

12:54 - JK compliments Jimin's card-dealing 

15:46 - JK tries unsuccessfully to get JM's attention so he can advise him what color to pick 

Ep 22 "Hangawi Festival" (Ep: 3 / KM: 3)

The one where the members wear hanbok to make food and play games

3:18 - When Suga comments that JK is good enough to be a songpyeon artist after retirement, Jimin says JK has a lot to do after retirement since JK told him he wanted to run a BBQ place.

7:01 - Jimin leans in close to JK and asks him to vote for his songpyeon (weirdly, hearts pop up on the screen when he does). Despite his desire to win, Jimin cheers loudly and puts his arm around JK when JK's songpyeon gets the first vote. He keeps his arm around him the entire time the voting is happening and as they start announcing the votes. 7:45 - When the other members go over to look at the dishes, JM and JK stay behind together. 21:00 - After watching Jimin spin in fascination, JK tells everyone that Jimin used to be a dancer (no idea why he says that like it's new info for anyone lol) 29:11 - JM and JK walk off together BEHIND 2:58 - JM and JK look over all the songpyeon together and Jimin compliments JK's 3:55 - more footage of the super long amount of time JM had his arm around JK

Ep 23 "Pet Friends" (Ep: 5 / KM: 1)

The one where adorable boys play with adorable dogs 

5:16 - Jimin seems to find JK's joke about eating dog treats as snacks hilarious and adorable  18:01 - JK and JM address each other when bragging about their dogs and have a moment of just looking at each other  19:50 - Jimin smiles when JK enters with his dog and the captions feel the need to clarify that it's a "brother-like smile"

Ep 24 "BTS vs. Zombies" (Ep: 4 / KM: 0)

The one where BTS (minus JK) is too afraid of zombies to complete any tasks

None

Ep 25 "Game King" (Ep: 2 / KM: 3)

The one that reminds us video games are more fun to play that to watch people play (but it’s super fun to watch Jimin dance while water is poured over him)

1:36 - JK walks over and puts his arm around Jimin when they get put on the same team. He does the same to Jin after and there are much better jikook moments in this ep, but including it for the sake of completionism  22:32 - JM sits right up next to JK and is kind of touchy when they pick a punishment. 22:56 - When the producer asks what song Jimin should dance to while getting water poured on his head, JK requests "'Blood Sweat and Tears,' a sexy one" and then gets shy and rubs at his ear.  23:32 - Jimin has his arm around JK when saying goodbye. 23:52 - When Jimin says he's nervous to dance, JK asks them to play the music loud. They're all staring at Jimin when he dances while getting soaked (because how could you not?), but JK's face at 24:16 after he gives JM a once-over is pretty great. And I think it's JK who yells "so hot!" at 24:23. He's also the only one still clapping at 24:43. 

Ep 26 "Secret Agent" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The one where the boys wear tuxedos and drive go-karts

15:19 - Jimin comments that JK will like the laser part of the course. 17:38 - JK taps JM on the shoulder to indicate something. 24:30 - JM proudly tells JK that he heard he scored the highest (even though that is a. not true and b. would be bad for Jimin's team). BEHIND 0:15 - Jimin reaches over to pat JK's stomach even though Jin is the one who messed up.

Ep 27 "Welcome to Your First MT Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 3)

The ones where BTS play games, sing karaoke, and have a BBQ

6:22 - Jimin points out that they shouldn't make things harder for JK's team and imitates JK's confused big eyes. 7:48 - Jimin is playing the nonsensical answers game and is doing well until they ask what JK's favorite color is and Jimin immediately says yellow. Then, looks over at JK with an embarrassed smile. 13:55 - Jimin loses again with JK involved and, after, keeps looking at him and sings something I don't recognize.  19:22 - When Jimin has to do the nonsense game again, JK cheers him on with a "Jimin fighting!" even though they're on opposing teams. 20:50 - When Jimin has to drink lemon juice, JK volunteers that Jimin will be good at that since he likes sour things. He then repeats that fact another two times.  24:30 - Not super shippy, but the sound effect JK makes for Jimin's die toss is pretty great. 24:44 - When JK argues that Jimin's team should get less time, Jimin looks at him and acts cute so JK laughs and stops arguing. 28:18 - When Jimin gets an answer wrong in a funny way, JK says "this is is how he makes the show awesome."  BEHIND 0:58 - Jimin complains that the shirts with JK's face on them make Jungkook look "too cute."

Ep 28 "Welcome to Your First MT Part 2" (Ep: 4 / KM: 1)

6:50 - Jimin doesn't even glance at J-Hope when he makes a comment to him while JK is singing

Ep 29 "...Be Each Other's Stylist" (Ep: 4 / KM: 4)

The one where the guys all dress each other 

10:18 - Jimin says he wants to try Jungkook's clothes because he thinks he might look great in them.  This whole scene, JK seems kind of nervous and keeps hovering near Jimin - it's especially apparent at 10:45

13:25 - When he gets picked to be styled by Jimin, JK celebrates, calls JM Jimini-ssi, and clasps his hand. 16:36 - Not a shippy moment per se, but the look on JK's face when Jimin holds up the pink shirt he's considering dressing him in is pretty great.  17:14 - Jikook keep joking around with each other about the pink shirt while the others are introducing their styles. JK swats at JM with the prop rose at 17:45 as part of this.  21:19 - While the guys are getting changed, Jimin calls everyone's attention to how he's dressed JK and gets them to compliment how good it looks. Then, V comments that it's the boyfriend look and Jimin says he wanted it to look great.  23:21 - JK trails his eyes up Jimin's body as JM poses. 23:27 - This starts the sequence of JK modeling Jimin's clothes, which involves a lot of laughing and looks plus JK imitating Jimin's hair sweep. At 23:54, JM calls JK Jungkook-ssi and says he looks even better than he thought. JK immediately stops posing and gets shy and earnest as he asks "really?" and says thank you. Then he takes JM's hand and holds it a few seconds and his entire face lights up.  (This isn't a moment I'd given a lot of thought to before, but watching it now, I actually think I'd put it on my "moments that highlight how differently JM and JK interact with each other than with anyone else" list) 29:10 - While doing his model walk, JK imitates JM's hair sweep again and then does a piece of JM's choreo from "Save Me." JM cracks up the whole time and they do a bro-hug when JK is done. 33:00 JM and JK crack up together in the middle of the final poses.  BEHIND 5:29 - As they get changed, JM and JK joke about the fit of the pants JM is trying on. 6:58 - JM and JK decide that JK should change into the outfit JM originally picked out. JK does and then starts imitating JM, which makes JM laugh and playfully smack him. They keep talking and at 7:40 JM briefly touches JM's back. 9:10 - J-Hope says that Jimin said before the episode that he wanted to dress JK. JM corrects him that he said Tae. 

[chuckleswritesgiggles]

Tickle Headcanons: Number Two/Diego

Ler:

As a kid, Diego, and the rest of the Hargreeves, were fairly certain he wasn’t ticklish (spoilers: they eventually find his spots, but he doesn’t have many)

It was unfortunate they didn’t think they could fight back, because holy shit is he a ler

When Klaus comes and asks him for tickles he scoffs and tells him he’s weird

Then tickles the shit out of him anyway

Teases can get a little mean but he’s been known to call Klaus cute and baby him like he’s a little brother sometimes

Did get himself hurt to wreck Luther on occasion, afterwards yelling about how worth it it was

Is living when they all finally catch Five

In their 30s he’s a little more mellow about it, claims he’s grown out of his tickle monster shit but can easily be provoked

More openly teases Klaus for being cute and how much he obviously likes it as they’re older

Sees the look on Vanyas face when the group talks about their tickle wars and makes an excuse just a few hours later to attack her, though he’s gentler with her than he usually would be the others

Makes it his personal mission in life to get Lila in a position where he can figure out her spots without getting knocked across the room

Lee

When they were kids they thought Diego wasn’t ticklish for a while, once again, so he wasn’t a target at all for a little bit

But the kids weren’t entirely comfy being touchy for a while so it takes them a weirdly long time to figure out knees can be spots

Klaus takes his first opportunity after this discovery to squeeze the spot above Diego’s knee (Diego lets him because “bro I don’t care /that/ super much but do you have a reason for randomly...?”)

The first squeeze scares the shit out of him, but Klaus doesn’t stop, and in a few squeezes he’s cackling and twists his way away, onto the floor

Unluckily for him, the others are in the room

Allison hears a rumor he can’t leave the room, and Luther holds him down while Allison, Klaus, and Ben go at him

In the process they discover his thighs are just as bad, and once he’s laughing his hips and sides can keep him squirming and giggling

He was angrier about becoming the subject of tickle attacks when Luther was involved

blushes for the rest of the day

In his 30s, he swears like a sailor when someone tickles him

But ironically is a bit of a better sport about it

As long as he got his shot in at his attacker before or after he feels like he can return to his life with dignity

If Klaus or Vanya tries to get him he purposefully lets them catch him, he really can’t handle the disappointment on their faces if he manages to get away, he’s not built for that

Lila, not knowing, tries to be seductive by playing with his leg once and he shrieks.

When it’s clear Lila knows what happened, his life flashes before his eyes

RIP Diego

(Even though he kind of likes it more when it’s her)

[stxn-the-mxn]

Alone Time || 2019!Bill Denbrough X Reader

IT CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS

! blood, death, mentions of rape !

He couldn’t believe he forgot about her. Of all the things about Derry, he forgot, why did it have to be her. He knew there was something holding him back from marrying Audra and later breaking up with her. 

There was always something in the back of his head, yelling at him, telling him to hold back. And now he knew, it had been her the whole time. That voice in his head, his subconscious… they were all her.

When they passed by her at the Chinese restaurant, he paid her no mind, trying to get out of their as quick as possible, especially after Richie lost his shit at some poor child. He hadn’t even realised it had been her. 

***

Back in 1990, she had been his everything. It was a while after Beverly had left, and he could feel his feelings for her dispersing quickly. In time, he would find every second of the day was taken up with thoughts of her.

He was disappointed in himself for never having noticed her before. She was in literally all of his classes. Every single one, and yet he never paid her any attention. He had mentally slapped himself after that discovery.

After that summer, Bill didn’t really hang out with the Losers Club as often. Every now and again he would talk to Stan, maybe Eddie or Richie. Ben and Mike were a different story. Bill never seemed to see them anymore.

So, he turned to her for a new best friend. At lunch, he joined her at the table she sat at by herself usually. She smiled at the boy, and Bill swore his heart skipped a couple of beats. After that day, they seemed to be spending days on end with each other.

Later that year, the school decided to put on a play. The most basic school play, Romeo & Juliet. The week before auditions, Bill had discovered Y/N’s love for Shakespeare. She had been talking about it non-stop since the announcement was made.

“Y-yknow, you s-s-should audition for J-Juliet.”

She had choked on her juice, staring at Bill, waiting for him to laugh it off. It had to have been a joke, after all.

“I’m s-s-serious, Y/N/N. You’re a g-great actress. Look, if y-y-you audition, I will t-too.”

Bill regretted that promise. He wasn’t ready to play Romeo and was most definitely not prepared to kiss you on stage in front of everyone. But he was ready to admit that he loved you, truly he did.

You had believed him. He said he loved you. He said that he wanted to be with you forever.

And then he left Derry.

***

How could he have forgotten his Juliet? He could feel the kisses on his lips again, her hands tangled in his hair. He could feel everything he felt for her, just like he did before he left Derry. Had Y/N left Derry?

He wasn’t sure, but he sure as hell wanted to know. He would search this damn town top to bottom if it meant finding you again. But first, he wanted to pass by somewhere that meant a shit ton to him.

He pedalled up to his old house, and he was surprised to see it hadn’t been changed one bit. It was the same colour, just freshly painted. He glanced up at the top window that used to be his bedroom and saw a woman in the window.

She seemed familiar, and the second they locked eyes, it didn’t feel awkward. It felt right. He watched as the woman ran downstairs. The door swung open, and the woman ran out to Bill.

“Bill, holy shit, it’s you! You’re right in front of me, breathing and everything oh my god.”

He knew it was her. He knew immediately. How could he not? All these years later, and she still had the same smile.

“Y-yeah, yeah it’s m-me. You h-h-haven’t changed. And you live in my old home?”

She chuckled, and it sounded like music to Bill. Her smile was the same, except the silver braces were gone. He examined her face. She had more noticeable freckles, her glasses gone, likely being replaced with contacts.

She was still the Y/N he was utterly in love with.

“What can I say? I missed you, this was the closest I could be to you.”

“Mom? Sewer guy?”

Both adults whipped around to meet the small kid with his skateboard. Bill’s jaw dropped, as he stared at the kid he had yelled at only an hour ago. It was just his luck, wasn’t it? He and Richie had both yelled at this poor kid, only to find out he belonged to the love of his life. 

“You know Dean?”

Y/N questioned, pure confusion in her voice. How on earth did Bill know her own son? Bill didn’t answer, just staring between Dean and Y/N.

“Bill? Come in, we need to talk. Dean, don’t stay out too late, I need you back from the fair at least 10 pm.”

Dean skated off, staring at Bill weirdly as he passed him. Bill watched the kid go, his eyes darting between Y/N and skateboard kid. 

“Fuck,” he thought “that probably means she’s married.”

Sensing that Bill was in a state of mild shock, Y/N sighed and dragged him inside. The floor plan was still the same as when he had lived there. Georgie’s old room now belonged to Dean. His old room was now occupied by Y/N and her husband.

They sat down on the bed, closer than Bill expected for a married woman.

“I’m not married.” Y/N seemed to read Bill’s mind. He glanced at her hands to find, to his joy, not a single gold band in sight.

“Well, where’d D-Dean come f-f-from then?” Bill had genuine curiosity in his voice, as he glanced at a photo of Y/N and Dean. he couldn’t help but smile at how happy they were. He had to ask about Dean’s father, but he didn’t want to come across as pushy or nosey. He failed that last part.

“He, uh, he never had a father. It’s always been just me and him.” She was holding back the truth. He needed to be nosey and pushy. He didn’t feel like he had any other choice.

“Y/N, even after 27 y-years, I k-know when you’re not t-t-telling me the truth. You d-do the thing with your h-h-hands.”

She looked down, seeing her right ring finger tapping her thigh. He really remembered everything after all those years. 

“Dean… he wasn’t a child of consent. That’s all I want to say on the matter.” Y/N’s words were quick and sharp. Bill could tell she was touchy about the subject. Who wouldn’t be? Silence fell over the room.

Bill held her tightly, as her sobs broke the silence. It was painful, seeing the woman he loved break like this. She had always been the second strongest woman he knew, as no woman would ever be as strong as Beverly Marsh, and that was fact, not opinion.

“I remember when Dean first asked about his dad. I told him he was off in California, writing stories and making movies that he wasn’t allowed to read or see yet.” Y/N laughed softly as she saw Bill’s dumbstruck expression. He still seemed to be processing it all, but that didn’t stop her from continuing.

“He had smiled, yelling that his daddy was famous while jumping in circles. I never had the heart to tell him the truth. I still don’t think I could.”

“So, what y-you’re telling m-m-me… is that y-y-your son thinks I-I’m his dad?”

She had looked down awkwardly, mentally calling herself stupid for bringing that up. Bill probably thought she was insane at this point.

“Maybe… maybe he n-n-needs a dad. One who’s a-actually around.”

“W-what?”

Bill pressed his lips against hers, those 27 years of lost emotions rushing into this one kiss. It was messy, rushed, somewhat chaotic. It was everything the both of them had wanted. It was perfect and beautiful and everything in between.

***

Bill, Ben and Beverly surrounded Eddie as they stared at the hole in his cheek where Henry Bower’s switchblade had been. Everyone was in a panic, not knowing what to do when someone gets stabbed through the face.

While Bill was also worried for Eddie, his mind was elsewhere. Specifically, his mind was on her. The voices of Ben and Bev and Eddie’s painful moans dissolved as Bill saw a skateboard roll over to them. It looked identical to Dean’s.

Bev noticed it too. Blood trailed upwards. It was floating. 

They flipped the board over, and Bill’s knees buckled.

Guess he couldn’t cut it either.

“I have to go.”

He ran, ignoring Silver and Bev’s calls for him to wait. He couldn’t let Dean get hurt. He couldn’t let Y/N get hurt. The fair was quite the distance from the Inn, but he ran the whole way. Dean wasn’t safe, no child was in this devil town.

The screams, happy screams, of kids and neon lights signalled his destination was extremely close. As he turned the corner, he immediately scanned the crowds for the mop of curly blonde hair.

Like a hitman finding his target, his eyes closed in on Dean L/N. He had made it time. Dean was there, breathing, all limbs attached. Bill continued sprinting. Dean was running with his friends towards the funhouse.

“Kid! Dean! Stop!” His pleas were useless as Dean ran through the spinning walkway. Bill stumbled across the walkway, feeling dizzy.

The next hallway was filled with swinging clowns. Dean must have already made it through. A clown slammed him into the wall, but he got back up and ran, only being hit by one more stuffed clown.

“Oh, you can not be serious?”

Bill faced the mirror maze, his head spinning. He didn’t stop to get his bearing though, sprinting through the maze, running into almost every mirror. He turned the corner successfully and saw the blonde boy up ahead.

“Kid!” He yelled, running at full speed, before cracking his head against another mirror.

“Kid?” He looked around, feeling his surroundings. It wasn’t possible. Not in some attraction designed for kids.

He was completely surrounded by those fucking mirrors. He continued to feel around, eventually finding an open passage. Bill stumbled through more hallways, this time avoiding running into anything.

Around another corner was Dean, walking idly. He ran towards the kid again but found himself stuck behind another barrier of mirrors. He shouldn’t have been shocked, running into mirrors in the mirror maze.

Spinning around, he saw him again. Dean was at the end of the hallway, staring through the mirrors. Bill ran, for the millionth time that day, calling out for Dean. and, for the millionth time that day, he found himself trapped behind a wall of glass.

Dean spun around at the thump on the glass. He stared at the man who seemed to be following him around this town and had been hugging his mom not that long ago. Bill clutched his face in pain, muttering “shit” not so quietly.

“K-kid! Hey, hey!” Bill smiled, and Dean backed away.

“What are you doing here?” 

“H-h-hey, I-I’m here to help,” Bill said, and Dean scrunched up his face in annoyance.

“Stop following me!”

“I’m gonna, I’m g-gonna get you o-out of here.” Bill walked backwards, and as his eyes drifted down past Dean, he seemed to freeze.

Dean followed his gaze, his breath catching in his throat as he saw the creature staring them down.

Pennywise The Dancing Clown stared at the two of them, trailing his tongue up the glass. He had hunger in his eyes as he watched Dean’s every move.

“No.” Bill pleaded. Pennywise moved up the glass, his tongue still licking the glass. Dean didn’t move, frozen in place.

“P-please..” Bill felt helpless.

Pennywise stared at Dean, who was shaking. Bill realised he was shaking too, as strong as he always made himself seem. The fucking clown smiled creepily at Dean, the poor boy crying and trembling.

Neither Dean nor Bill could say anything, both standing in silence as Pennywise reared IT’s head, before hitting it on the glass.

IT laughed at their fearful silence, the only other sound being Dean’s wavering breaths. IT smashed its head on the glass, harder this time, and Bill responded by pounding on the glass. Dean backed away, straight into the glass Bill was on the other side of.

IT repeatedly smashed its head on the glass, not holding back. Bill did the same, only with his fists. Dean yelped in fear, each cry a spear through Bill’s heart. The clown was relentless, never holding back as its head came in contact with the glass.

Dean was crying, and Bill felt tears welling up too. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. But it was, and it was a real as the fear pounding through their bodies.

The glass was cracking, Dean was screaming, and Bill was trying, but to no avail. IT slammed its head faster, more aggressive. Dean turned to Bill who was punching the glass. He knew he couldn’t do anything, but he didn’t want to believe it.

Two pieces of glass separated Dean from either safety or… something else. 

Bill moved to kick the glass, but it still remained intact. The other piece of glass did not. Dean’s screams echo through Bill’s mind, and they motivate him to try harder, to be stronger. He tries everything. Kicking, punching, pushing against it, all while looking into Dean’s fearful eyes. The same eyes he would have to look into after this. The same eyes that would fill with uncontrollable tears.

IT stops. But the glass is one tiny hit away from shattering. ITs face contorts, the horrifying smile it displays burning into Dean’s memories. Bill and Dean breathe heavily, and Pennywise can smell their fear.

IT rears its head back, before smashing it through the glass. Razor-sharp teeth slash out, latching onto Dean, who is still screaming. 

A gruesome blood splatter signifies Bill’s failure.

***

The incident had happened two days ago. In those two days, Bill had never felt more enraged. That anger, however, had been one of the keys to defeating IT. But as the Losers left the sewers, hauling an injured but living Eddie with great difficulty, the anger wasted away, and the sadness took its place.

He didn’t know how to tell her. He now knew how his parents felt, the day they had to tell him of Georgie’s fate. He felt so utterly useless. He had walked to her house, not ever wanting to arrive.

On the slow travel to the house of death and despair, Bill had contemplated how he would tell her. Nothing seemed right. He knew he needed the other Losers by his side if he was ever going to make it through.

Once the six of them had made it to your doorstep and rung the doorbell, Bill had broken down. And that’s how Y/N found them all, huddled around a sobbing Bill. They had all immediately noticed the tears in her own eyes.

“B-Bill?” 

She brought them all inside, making each one a cup of coffee or tea. They sat in silence, waiting for someone to say something. No one spoke, Bill and Y/N simply let out quiet sobs every now and again. An hour after, and a few coffee/tea refills later, Bill finally spoke up.

“Y-Y/N. Can we g-g-go upstairs?’

Bill held the woman close to him as they made their way upstairs. They both froze outside Dean’s old room, and Bill made the move to push her next door.

“What happened to Dean? Why did he never come home, Bill?”

Bill knew that deep down, she knew the answer to that. Not the specifics, of course. But he knew that Y/N could not have ignored the signs, like the missing posters that only seemed to be around when he was.

“Y/N, h-h-he’s gone.”

She couldn’t do this anymore. Bill held the sobbing woman, and he knew the other five Losers downstairs could hear everything. Her crying eventually brought the other five upstairs, one by one.

It reminded them of 1989 after they first defeated IT, when Bill had found Georgie’s yellow raincoat. Bill made the connection too, which hurt even more. They all found their tears dotting each other's clothes as they hugged the woman that they had not met until an hour ago.

“I… I think I need some time alone.” She mumbled, and the Losers left her room. Bill was about to leave when she pulled him into a kiss. It was like the one he shared with Beverly all those years ago; a farewell kiss.

***

It had been more of a farewell than Bill hoped. Not even two months after he left Derry for the second time did he receive the letter. It was addressed to him, from an address he didn’t know.

Opening the letter, he immediately recognized her handwriting. It hadn’t changed since high school. The note was short.

I’m sorry. I tried to be strong, I really did. I couldn’t do it without you and Dean. And I feel so selfish for doing this, and I don’t want you to be mad. It was best for everyone. I promise I’ll see you again, but as I said that horrible night, I need some time alone.

Yours forever, Y/N L/N

Dropping the envelope, another piece of paper came flying out. He didn’t want to, but he had to pick it up. Turning it over, he wanted to believe he was back in Derry, and this was just some cruel trick that clown was playing on him.

But it wasn’t. He wasn’t in Derry. If he was, maybe it would’ve changed things. It would’ve for sure stopped him from receiving the letter he currently held in his hand.

Celebrating a life well lived

Y/N M/N L/N

Loving mother, daughter and friend

1976-2016

***

@chipoisaloser

[connan-l]

Cleavered

Fandom: The House in Fata Morgana & Higurashi: When They Cry

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Relationship: Rena Ryuuguu & Morgana (The House in Fata Morgana)

Summary: Rena was lost, all alone and far away from her village and country. But while trying to find her way back, she gets herself involved into a sordid story of blood and witch…

Content Warnings: A few graphic depictions of violence, including slashing, blood, blood draining, attempted murders. Panic attacks and vomiting towards the end. Briefs kidnapping and slavery mentions.

________________________________________________________________

Link on Archive of Our Own

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Notes: I promise this initially started as a silly joke. I only wanted to write a ridiculous crack one-shot with ‘what if Rena Ryuuguu saved Morgana’ as a premise, and for some reason it ended up as this giant taken-too-seriously mess. It was actually pretty hard to write though — took me months before finishing it, and it was a real challenge to find a way to fit Higurashi’s plot in FataMoru’s setting. Rena was also pretty difficult to write, and I wish I would’ve been able to reread Tsumihoroboshi before that, but oh well.

Again though, it’s principally just a self-indulgent crack fic, so don’t try to think too much about it if there are some details that don’t makes sense and roll with it haha.

I’m thanking Ried (@kosongnonsens) too given I started writing this after we joked around about this idea.

Spoilers for the entirety of The House in Fata Morgana and A Requiem for Innocence, and for Higurashi: When They Cry’s sixth arc Tsumihoroboshi-hen/Atonement Chapter.

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She was definitely lost by now.

Whether she looked right or left, behind or in front of her, none of the landscapes and surroundings had one once of familiarity. She had been walking for hours now, at least — but she was pretty sure she had just managed to get even more lost than she initially had been.

Disheartened, she let out a long, heavy sigh, and sat down on a rock in the shade of a tree. Her big satchel that she’s been dragging around since she first came into this country was starting to really hurt her shoulder and back, so she also put it down on the ground. The soil was probably going to tarnish it, but it didn’t bother her much. It already was an old, deteriorated bag anyway, and there wasn’t anything of value in it — just a few clothes, some fruits and bread, and her cleaver.

She wished her father was here. And her friends. She wished she could just go back to her village, which she hadn’t seen in months now. What was she even doing out there in this foreign land she knew nothing about? People only looked at her weirdly, as if she was some sort of exotic animal, and she felt terribly uncomfortable and unwelcome.

(But maybe this was part of the curse of Oyashiro, too…)

As she unconsciously sighed again, she suddenly heard something. It sounded like footsteps. Then, after a while, she was sure she could feel a presence — a human presence. She always had a good instinct for stuff like that. She instantly grabbed her satchel, ready to welcome anything, but the person who showed up in front of her emanated absolutely no danger or suspicion whatsoever.

“Ah, as I thought! I truly had seen someone coming here!”

It was a girl, a bit younger than her, with long wavy blonde hair and sparkling sunny eyes. Her first thought was that she looked really cute, and she if wasn’t feeling so tired she probably would’ve loved to try squishing her round cheeks. Her second thought was that on the other hand, her pale face, chapped blue lips and dark circles told her she wasn’t in the best of health. Still, the girl bounced towards the newcomer like a rabbit, smiling from ear to ear.

“That’s so rare to see people!” She exclaimed. “No one ever come around here.”

“Really?” A part of her still felt suspicious, but the girl’s smile was contagious so she couldn’t help but mimic her friendly tone. “I got lost in the forest… I’ve been walking for hours trying to find my way back. Do you think you could help me?”

Th blonde girl grimaced. “Well… I can try, but… Honestly, I don’t really know my way around here either…”

“Oh… I see…”

Well, of course, that would’ve been too easy. At least she wasn’t lost in the middle of the woods anymore, she supposed. She had never been afraid of forests or dark, isolated places, but those were still tricky areas when you knew nothing of the surroundings.

“Um…”

The girl cleared her throat, getting her attention back to her, before smiling shyly with a hopeful gaze.

“Uh, well, I don’t think I can help you find your way back, but… you said you’ve been walking for hours, right? So you must be tired. If you want, I can invite you at my home!”

“Y-You would? I-I mean… it’d be very kind, but I don’t want to bother,” she stuttered.

“It’s okay! I’m all alone right now, and I’m sure the Saintess wouldn’t mind either!”

“The Saintess…?”

“I know how to make excellent tea, with rose petals! I promise you won’t regret it if you come!”

The blonde girl took her hand and begins to pull on it excitedly. She seemed oddly happy at the idea of sharing her afternoon with this stranger she knew nothing about. Maybe it wasn’t a really prudent decision to follow her, but honestly, at this point she felt too tired to refuse such an alluring invitation. Plus, she felt pretty charmed by that girl, and she didn’t think she was dangerous.

“Okay!” She replied. “You lead the way then.”

The girl’s face instantly lit up and her smile got even wider as she saw the stranger rose up from the rock and grab her satchel.

“Aahh, that’s so great! We could bake together too! Ohh, and chat about all sorts of things! Ah, by the way, I’m Nellie. What’s your name?”

She smiled at her new acquaintance, her hand still intertwined with hers.

“I’m Rena! Nice to meet you.”

________________________________________________________________

Nellie hurriedly guided her to her home all while making little mindless talks (“You’re ‘Rena’? It’s the first time I hear that name! It sounds so weird!”), and it only took them five minutes to reach it. The place where she lived looked more like a little cabin than an actual house, to be honest, but Rena thought it’d be rude to say so she kept quiet. The interior was fairly cozy, and with all the adorable, tiny decorations put all around the walls it wasn’t hard to guess that Nellie was the one who was spending most of her time here.

“Do you live here all alone? Do you?” Rena asked tentatively.

“No, I live with the Saintess… Ah, the Saintess is a nun who works at the church up there! Before that, I lived with my brother in another house, but we moved here a few months ago.”

Rena nodded while the younger girl ran up to the kitchen. She had spent enough time in this country to know that ‘saint’ and ‘nun’ were religious figures here, though she wasn’t sure what were their roles exactly. She sat at the table and waited patiently for Nellie to reappears a few minutes later with a plate in her hands.

“Haoo, those teacups are so kyute!”

“Hehe, I know, right? They’re ones of the only things I was able to bring back from home.”

“From where you lived with your brother?”

“Yes— Ah, I mean, no, even before that. Initially, we didn’t even live in the same country. We used to be rich, you know? Living in a huge mansion and all.”

“Ohh, it sounds nice! I’ve never been in a mansion.”

Well, she supposed her friend Mion’s big house could count as one, but from what Rena had seen it was still very different from what Western people called ‘mansions.’

“Well, if you want, there’s a mansion not far from here, so I could show you. I mean, it’s technically a church, but it still looks more like a mansion than a church.”

“Aw, really? I’d love to see that!”

Nellie giggled. “You’re funny. I like you. I wish I could show you my own manor too back in my country, but… I probably will never be able to go home…”

The blonde girl sighed, and a sad expression spread on her face. Rena guessed it was a touchy subject and that it was better to just change the topic rather than push the issue, but at this moment Nellie stared straight into her eyes, her smile back in place, as if it had never disappeared.

“What about you?”

“H-Huh?”

“You’re a foreigner too, aren’t you?”

“Oh… yes, that’s true… I come from the Far East. Um, well… I came to this country some months ago because of my father’s work. He’s a trader and came here for a new business opportunity… but then we got separated, and I got lost, and so here I am.”

It was a pretty simple summary of her situation and she left out a lot of complicated factors, though. No matter how cute Nellie was, she still didn’t felt like telling her whole life story out of the blue like that.

“You speak the language really well for someone who only came here months ago,” she noticed.

“O-Oh… thanks… I still don’t know how to write it though…”

Nellie seemed to ponder her words for a moment in silence, and Rena thought she was going to keep questioning but instead she just grinned and rose up from the table.

“Well, whatever! It doesn’t matter where you come from if I like you. Hey, what do you think about baking with me? I feel like eating sweets!”

Rena didn’t get the time to reply that Nellie grabbed her hand and dragged her in the kitchen, but she didn’t try to complain and instead just let herself be subjugated by the other girl’s cheerfulness.

“I love cooking, actually!” She only added. “What do you want to bake?”

“Hmm…” Nellie crossed her arms and frowned. “I dunno… Something with sugar. Lots of sugar.”

Rena giggled, then looked around the room to quickly catalog the ingredients at her disposition. “All right, then I have a proposition: how about I try to make some sweets from my country?”

As she had expected, Nellie’s eyes brightened with enthusiasm and curiosity. “Yeah! You do that! I’ll help out too.”

And thus they started to bake together, spreading flour and butter and sugar all around the house. Rena thought she felt a little bad about the so-called ‘Saintess’ if she were to come back home and see all this mess, plus all the food they squandered. But to be honest, she was having so much fun right now that she didn’t even care.

Nellie reminded her a little bit of her friends, and especially of Satoko. Maybe it had to do with the way she spoke about her big brother with so much love and admiration. Either way, it had been a long time she hadn’t had so much fun. For a moment, if she closed her eyes, she could even pretend she was back home in Hinamizawa…

The sun was starting to set and they were almost done with their cooking when the door from the house suddenly opened. Nellie seemed surprised — she apparently wasn’t expecting anyone to come home so early. When they both went to look, Rena saw a young man with the same blonde hair as Nellie standing in the room.

“Dearest Mell!” The younger girl exclaimed, and all of a sudden it was as if Rena’s existence had been completely erased from her mind.

She ran in the room and jumped in the boy’s arms, who caught her as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Hello, Nellie,” he said gently.

“What are you doing here? I thought I wouldn’t see you at all today!”

“Yeah, I, uh… I forgot my bag here, and I felt the need to check on you. But, I won’t be able to stay long… maybe half an hour, at most…”

Nellie’s happy face instantly fell upon hearing that. “Are you sure? We were baking some sweets together, stay at least to taste them!”

“‘We’?”

At this moment, the boy ‘Mell’ finally noticed the other person at the end of the room. Rena smiled in a friendly way and waved at him, hoping to make him understand she wasn’t anyone suspicious, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on him as he instantly tensed and glared at her.

“Nellie, who’s that?” He asked in a stiff voice while grabbing Nellie’s arms in a protective manner.

His sister didn’t seem to notice his unease, though, because she just replied happily: “Oh, it’s Rena! Rena, it’s my big brother, dearest Mell!”

“R-Rena…?”

“Yeaaah, that’s a weird name, right?” Nellie added.

“No, that’s— I mean, who on earth is that girl, Nellie? What is she doing here?”

“She’s a foreigner I found outside. She told me she got lost, so I invited her here to play together.”

“Nellie!” Mell exclaimed, his voice firmer and almost panicked. “You cannot do that! Didn’t I tell you a lot of times to never let inside any strangers and to open the door to no one?”

“But… she’s not dangerous. I like her, she’s really nice. We baked toge—”

“It doesn’t matter how nice she is, you just can’t do that!”

Rena listened to the siblings’ argument from afar, and the more she observed the more… off, it seemed. Of course Mell had every reason to not want his little sister to interact with a stranger, but his reaction still felt wrong, somehow. He looked almost desperate, and Rena clearly wasn’t the only one to think he was acting weird.

“Dearest Mell,” Nellie said in a softer voice. “It’s fine. She really didn’t do anything but bake with me…”

Maybe his sister’s calmness and reassurance managed to cool him down a little bit somehow, because he blinked, looked at Rena, and took a deep breath.

“Yeah… uh, sorry. I’m just… a bit tired. That’s all.”

“Oh, it’s okay!” Rena replied. “I understand being tired.”

She also understood what it was like to feel paranoiac as if the entire world was against you, and to lash out at anyone as a result. And maybe that was why she couldn’t help but find Mell’s behavior more than suspicious.

“I… I need to get back my bag,” the boy blurted out, before heading towards the end of the cabin.

As soon as he had turned their back to them, Nellie’s expression darkened, and she looked down. Her eyes were shining so much Rena thought she might start crying. She didn’t, though.

“Could it be that… you two are not getting along well?”

Nellie shook her head. “We get along fine, usually. But these last months, Mell has been… so distant. First, he’s wanted to move here all of a sudden, and then he spent all of his time at that mansion… I know it was because I got sick, but…”

“Because you got sick?”

Rena didn’t need to read mind to guess the girl wasn’t healthy. She saw her cough quite a few times during their afternoon together, and there were moments where she even had to sit down because she felt dizzy. But she wasn’t sure how that was related to them moving. Nellie looked up and stared at Rena for a while. She seemed to hesitate, then nodded.

“Not long ago, the church up there started giving out a miraculous medicine that can heal everything, called ‘Saint’s Blood’.”

“Everything…?”

“Yes, and it really works! I was extremely ill, but after I started drinking it, I started to feel better. It’s temporary, though, so Mell has to get me some of it every once in a while. But…” Nellie bit her lip. “Well… you probably won’t believe me if I tell you…”

“Try me. You’d be surprised.”

Nellie looked at her once more, then finally made up her mind. “This medicine — it’s actually real blood from a real saint.”

“You’re drinking real blood?”

“Yeah, from the nun who lives with me. But it’s not like my blood or yours! It’s special, because she’s a saint. The real deal.”

Rena tried to register everything Nellie had told her with the little of what she knew of this country’s culture and religion. ‘Saints’ were some sort of divine figures here, weren’t they? Were they similar to the priests and shrine maiden serving the gods, like Rika? Maybe Rika would be considered a ‘saint’ here too then. So it wasn’t surprising that the blood of such a being could realize ‘miracles.’ She wondered if Nellie would believe her if she were to tell she also probably knew a ‘saint’ of her own…

“It’s good that I was able to get better… But if it comes at the cost of my brother… then it’s not worth it…”

Nellie’s small voice sounded so defeated and sorrowful. Rena looked at her with sympathy. She might not have known her for long, but seeing her like this was still painful. She wanted to try to say something to comfort her, but couldn’t find the words, and at this moment footsteps got her out of her thoughts.

“All right, I have it,” Mell declared.

Nellie’s sad expression disappeared, and a wide smile replaced it. For some reason, seeing this made Rena even sadder for her.

“Does that mean you’ll stay here then?”

“Just for half an hour,” Mell reminded her strictly. “But yes. I will.”

“Aha, yay! Thank you, dearest Mell!”

The girl jumped at her brother’s neck. Mell patted her head, then turned around towards Rena, his suspicious look back on.

“Do you… intend to sleep here?”

“Oh, no! Don’t worry, I will not bother you like that! Actually, I was just going to leave.”

“Eh? Already?” Nellie exclaimed disappointedly. “That wouldn’t have bothered me for you to stay sleep here…”

“No, it’s okay! I’ll find another place to stay the night. But thank you.”

Mell kept staring at Rena with distrust, but hearing her affirm she was leaving now seemed to put him a bit more at ease.

“Plus, I need to do my best to find my way back.”

“But…”

“Thank you for helping me, Nellie. But I can’t abuse of your kindness any longer. Oh, and of course I’ll leave you the sweets! I hope they’ll be good.”

All while talking, Rena took her satchel. She gave a tight hug to Nellie, smiled at Mell who just stayed quiet, then headed towards the door.

“Bye!”

The last thing she saw before closing the door was Nellie waving her hand sluggishly at her. Once outside, Rena sighed. The sky was orange, and it wouldn’t be long before the night fell. The smartest thing to do would be to try to find a place where she could sleep. She actually came around a small abandoned ranch earlier in the woods, so if she finds nothing else that would be her last resort, but it was a few hours away from here and far from being ideal.

But apparently today Rena didn’t feel like being smart. Instead, she thought about Nellie’s sad face, about the shady story of saints and blood she had just heard, and about the growing, insatiable curiosity that was starting to form inside her. And so, after a few moments of hesitation… she decided to hide in a bush next to the cabin, and wait here.

As Mell had said, it was about half an hour later when he finally went out. She looked at him say good bye to his sister, and when Nellie went back inside the cabin, he finally started to walk off.

Rena hesitated. She had a bad feeling. She knew she shouldn’t meddle. But her curiosity was stronger than any common sense she might have right now.

So, she tightened her grip on her satchel inside which resided her cleaver, and as discreet as a cat, she started following Mell.

________________________________________________________________

The house started to get into sight a few minutes later. It was a huge, intimidating building — and just like Nellie had told her earlier, this looked more like a mansion than a church. Mell stopped for a few seconds in front of the door, manifestly hesitating to go inside. He sighed, shook his head, then pushed the door and disappeared behind it. Rena waited a few seconds, then followed him.

The interior made her stop and gasp. She had arrived inside a giant room, with two rows of benches and a big, beautiful stained-glass at the end of it. Was that what the natives called an angel? She heard about this, too, but the one on the stained-glass looked so beautiful and dignified. The entire place seemed magical, and she couldn’t help but stop to admire it. She had already visited a ‘church’ once since she arrived in this country, but it was far from being as grand and pretty as this one. It’s only after some time gawking at the architecture that she heard the sound of a door opening, which brought her back to reality and reminded her of her original goal for coming here. Obviously, the boy hadn’t waited for her, and so she hurried to run in the direction of the noise. She arrived just in time to see Mell’s flaxen hair, then instantly hid behind the wall and froze in place when she heard a grave, severe voice roars.

“You’re late.”

“I-I’m sorry… I had to get back home because—”

“I don’t give a damn about your reason. Next time you are late, I’ll order the dog here to cut off your head.”

With all the precaution she could muster, Rena leaned very slightly from behind the wall and took a glance of what was going on. Mell was there in front of another closed door, looking like a lamb that had just been cornered by a pack of wolves, and she distinguished two adult men with him. Both of them had peculiar appearances that made them stand out from the majority of the people of this country, and Rena wondered if maybe they were foreigners — the first one because of his dark skin, and the second one because of his unusual features. She also was quick to notice the threatening long sword hanging at his belt. Was that man from the Far East like her? Maybe in other circumstances she would’ve felt a sense of kinship with him, but right now she could only feel suspicion and confusion.

“Then let’s go now, we’re not going to spend the night here,” the man with the wavy hair ordered, while the other one silently stood behind him like a shadow.

All three of them then took out a key from under their clothes and inserted it in the heavy lock that hanged in the middle of the door. After a loud click resonated, the man with the most expansive-looking outfit removed the lock, opened the door and started to climb the stairs, swiftly followed by the other two.

Rena frowned, and hesitated once again. She felt that keeping on trailing them would be making a mistake, and she still had time to go back. She could just leave the mansion right now, and forget about everything. She knew it was the most logical, safest course of actions. But for some reason, her body refused to listen. With uncertain and quiet steps, she opened the door which they thankfully had not locked behind them, and started climbing the stairs.

The circular area seemed infinite, as if this tower leaded directly to heaven. Each of her steps resounded abundantly inside the staircase, no matter how quiet she tried to be, which made her feel anxious Mell or anyone would spot her presence at any seconds. Yet, she managed to reach the top without anyone stopping her, to her surprise.

“Hurry up and go feed her,” was the first thing she heard upon arriving.

“Y-Yes,” Mell squeaked, before quickly hobbling towards the door.

His hands were shaking and he struggled a bit to open the door, which only served to aggravate the annoyance of the disgruntled wavy-haired man. When finally the door opened, Mell reached to take a tray on the ground, then penetrated inside. At this moment, Rena tried her best to get a glance of what was in there without getting noticed. At first, she couldn’t see anything — then she caught sight of a chain on the soil… and she gasped.

At the very bottom of the small room, shackled and curled up on herself, was a girl. Rena couldn’t really tell much from how far she was, but she seemed young, clothed in a dark robe and with long, braided red hair. Her head was bent and hidden in her knees, dissimulating her face. The most noticeable thing was the way her right sleeve was sloppily hanging to her side, completely empty, indicating her missing arm. Rena’s brain shut down, as she felt unable to comprehend the situation that was happening in front of her eyes.

What? What? Why is there a girl chained up at the top of this tower? Why are those three men bringing her food? What on earth is going on here?

Mell approached the girl with shaking steps, and kneeled in front of her.

“It’s… uh, it’s time to eat,” he muttered weakly.

The girl didn’t react. In fact, she didn’t even seem to calculate his presence at all. Mell sighed.

“Come on… You almost didn’t eat anything yesterday either…”

He took a piece of bread and handed it to the girl. As she seemed decided to ignore his very presence, the boy awkwardly tried to push the bread on her mouth, which finally managed to get a reaction out of her. She raised her head and turned it towards him, before glaring at him. Her eyes were so full of hatred that it made even Rena want to step back, but it wasn’t the thing that was the most surprising. The girl’s face… was covered in some weird scars. It looked as if her whole face had been burned, the only exception being her pale golden eyes. Rena felt unable to stop staring at her, as if hypnotized.

Hao… She’s… She’s so kyute! I wanna take her home!

“If she really insist for not eating, then leave her be,” the wavy-haired man said, getting Rena out of her daydream.

“B-But…”

“If she doesn’t eat, she’ll die though,” the swordsman replied, but there was no hint of sympathy in his voice.

“She’ll eat tomorrow. For now, we need to take care of the blood.”

Rena didn’t understand what he meant by that, but judging by Mell’s livid face, it wasn’t anything good.

“I… I can’t—”

“Hmph. You have a lot of demands for someone in your position. But be reassured, I had no intention of asking you to do such a task.”

Instead, he looked at the other man, and made a sharp chin movement.

“As you wish, lord.”

And with this, the swordsman entered the room, while Mell hurried to get up and go away. Just like the boy earlier, he kneeled down next to the girl — but it was not to give her food. Instead, he took out a knife in one hand, and a bowl in the other. Seeing this, the girl had this time an extremely intense reaction. She shrieked and tried to get away as much as she could from the man, almost crushing her body against the wall.

“No! No! Go away!” She screamed, almost hysterically. “S-Stay away from me!”

But the yells didn’t seem to faze the man one bit. He continued to approach her and firmly grabbed her shoulders. The girl started to struggle and scream and scratches at him like an insect caught in a spider’s web. Despite this, the swordsman had no problem immobilizing her, as if he was made of stone, and then plunged the knife in her arm. As red, shiny blood started to flow, he quickly put the bowl under her wound and simply waited. The girl kept on screaming and twitching, but no one reacted to her cries. The swordsman simply drained her blood in silence, the wavy-haired man looked at the scenery with arms crossed and a frown, and the boy seemed to want to run away from the place and forget about all of this. But none of expressed any guilt or sympathy for the girl that was being tortured under their eyes.

Rena also watched in silence, her whole body frozen by the surreal experience that was happening in front of her. Her eyes just couldn’t register what was going on. Or rather, she could understand, but her mind had way too many questions about it. Why were they doing this? Who was that girl? Who were the other men? But the questions felt minimal compared to the screams that were lacerating her ears. Her first reflex was to come in and put a stop to this, but she was well aware that it would be suicidal. Mell probably wouldn’t be too much of a trouble, but the other two were well-built adult men, one of them holding a sword at his waist. No way a lone young girl like her could just overthrow the three of them all at once… not like this, and not right now, at least.

As she was still lost in thoughts, she suddenly felt a gaze pressed on her and her blood froze in her veins. Slowly, she turned her head, and her eyes suddenly crossed the ones of the wavy-haired man. Her body reacted by reflex, and she instantly turned around and ran down the stairs as quickly as she could. Once she reached the chapel, she hurried to join a corridor and hid in the first room she saw. She stayed there in the dark a few minutes, to calm herself down. Then, she slowly opened the door, and glanced outside.

Nothing. There was nothing. No voice, no footsteps, no sounds. That was… odd. She was sure that for a brief instant, that man had seen her. That their gazes had crossed. Rena remembered how the swordsman had called him ‘lord,’ and it indeed had seemed that he was the mastermind behind this whole mess. If this man had noticed a stranger spying on them, surely he would have instantly ordered someone to go take care of her. She couldn’t believe that them draining the blood of a girl was public knowledge, so it certainly must’ve been a secret they didn’t want anyone to know. So why…? Did she just imagine him staring at her, after all?

Voices and footsteps reverberated from the chapel, and she instantly tensed up again. She tried to hear what was being said, but she was too far away to manage to grasp anything. After a while, the silence returned, so she glanced once again from behind the door. Upon looking at the end of the corridor, she noticed someone walking. The place was dark, but the fluffy blonde hair that shined in the obscurity made no doubt that it must’ve been Mell. She saw him stop in front of a door and enter a room. Rena returned inside the chamber she had taken shelter in, and collapsed on the bed.

She had two options. She could just sneak out of the mansion in silence, forget everything she had just saw, and move on with her life. Or… Or what? Infiltrating herself in the tower and save that girl she knew nothing about? That sounded like some silly fairy tale. To begin with, the door was locked. She had seen earlier the men use three keys to open the lock, which each had one. That meant she would need to steal their keys to open the door, gets the girl, and ran away with her, all of that without getting caught. That sounded… pretty much impossible.

She knew what the logical decision should be. This whole thing was none of her business. She knew nothing about this girl, about these men, about this entire affair. For all she knew, maybe they were even doing a good thing! Putting her nose into this would only mean trouble for her; and she was a lone foreigner who barely knew anything about the country. But…

But when she started to think that way, the girl’s screams resonated inside her head. The oppressive atmosphere of the room, the heavy scent of blood. Nellie’s sad face… Did Nellie even know about this? No, probably not. Rena might barely know her, but she couldn’t imagine that girl would agree to keep silent about such an inhuman thing. Once again, those scars-covered face and shining golden eyes flashed into her mind. Rena sighed, and smiled very briefly against the pillow.

“I can never abandon a kyute thing, after all.”

She stood up, grabbed her cleaver with her two hands, then got out of the room.

________________________________________________________________

With all the delicacy of a feline, Rena approached the door behind which she had seen Mell disappears. Nellie had told her that her brother didn’t sleep in the cabin with her, so she guessed it must’ve been his room in them mansion. The lights were turned off. Best case scenario, he would be asleep. Otherwise, well… She tightened her grip on her cleaver, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

The room was dark, but thanks to the light from the corridor she had no troubles to distinguish the bed, nor the boy who suddenly sat up on the mattress. So, he was not asleep. Well, it wasn’t a big deal. Unlike the other two, the boy looked quite spineless, so she shouldn’t struggle too much with him.

“Y-You…!” He exclaimed, recognizing the strange orange-haired foreigner. “Wh-What are you—”

But Rena didn’t let him the time to make any more noise. She didn’t want him to alert the other two right now, if they were still around. So she instantly brandished her cleaver and put it just under Mell’s neck. As soon as he saw the blade, the boy paled and stared at it with wide eyes.

“Keep quiet, and you’ll keep your head,” Rena ordered in a firm voice.

It took a few seconds for Mell to regain his spirits, and when he did, he raised his eyes towards Rena and glared at her.

Oh? Then maybe he’s not as spineless as I thought… Unless he underestimates me?

Well, it didn’t matter what he thought of her. She still objectively had the upper hand here.

“I knew it, you’re trouble after all,” he said, but he was pretty bad at hiding the tremor in his voice. “What did you do to Nellie?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t play innocent! You couldn’t have gotten close to her by coincidence!”

“It was absolutely by coincidence,” she replied genuinely. “And it’s also completely by coincidence I found you three draining this girl’s blood at the top of the tower. What would you little sister thinks of that, I wonder…?”

“You… You don’t intend to tell Nellie—”

“I saw you enter the tower by using three keys. I want the one you have.”

Rena’s tone didn’t vacillate in the slightest and her voice was as threatening as she could, but Mell was completely bewildered. He looked at her as if she had just told him she was a ghost or something.

“You… want to go save her…? Th-That’s impossible!”

“I don’t care what you think. Give me the key.”

“You don’t understand! You can’t open the door without the two other keys that the lord and the swordsman have! M-Maybe you can get the key from me, but those other two, they definitely won’t let you do! They’ll kill you without hesitation, and me too—”

“The. Key.”

She took a step further, putting more pressure on the cleaver’s blade. Mell gasped.

“You… You wouldn’t do that… I did nothing wrong, I’m innocent…”

Rena snorted. “I don’t care. I’m not afraid of killing.”

All while speaking, she gently slashed the blade against the white neck of the boy, and a thin trail of blood trickled on his skin. He shrieked, then instantly reached in one of his cloth’s pocket, before taking out a pretty, golden key.

“I-It’s there! It’s there…”

“Thanks!”

Rena smiled at Mell, her threatening aura instantly vanishing while the boy still stared at her with an astonished face.

“Y-You’re still making a mistake,” he added shakily. “You don’t stand a chance against—”

But he didn’t had the time to finish his sentence that Rena swinged her cleaver and hit him on the head. It was only with the back of the blade, so there was no way it was a fatal hit, just hard enough to knock him out. She still checked just to be sure, and while his forehead was bleeding a bit, he would survive.

“Sorry, I just don’t want to take the risk of you getting in my way…”

All while talking she took the key and put it in her satchel. She’d probably usually think it is a kyute thing she could bring back home, but she wasn’t in the mood for that. After she saves the girl, maybe.

Before stepping out of the room, she glanced one last time at the boy. She didn’t have strong feelings towards him, but she still hoped he’d be able to get out of here alive, if just for Nellie’s sake.

“‘I’m innocent,’ huh…”

She chuckled, then got out and closed the door behind her.

No matter how pitiful Mell’s claims had been, he had actually been right about one thing: it would be a lot harder to obtain the keys from the two other men than from the boy. She had guessed just upon seeing them that threatening their lives wouldn’t be enough — and her instinct was telling her that the swordsman was a lot more skilled as a fighter than she was. She would need to think about a plan to get them, then. The question was what plan. Hopefully they still mustn’t be very far from the house yet, maybe were they even still inside, so she shouldn’t have troubles finding them. She tried to think about the possibility of other people being here too — the ‘Saintess’ came to her mind, but from what she had understood she lived with Nellie so she probably wouldn’t be here this late at night. Unless she was also involved, which made things more complicated. She also remembered the third man was supposedly a ‘lord,’ so shouldn’t he have some guards posted around? But she couldn’t recall seeing any on her way here…

Once again, she really wished her friends were with her right now. Together, they would certainly have come up with a good plan in just a few minutes… But, no, maybe that was too naïve of her. She shouldn’t rely like that on people. She was all alone now, and even if she wasn’t, it was more certain to take of serious matter by yourself. Not even ‘friends’ were always reliable and trustworthy allies, and they could just as much become betrayers who stab you in the back, after all.

“Hey, you there!”

Rena froze. When she turned around, she found herself face to face with the swordsman. Apparently, fate refused to give her a chance to elaborate a plan before having a confrontation. She thought about acting innocent for a moment, but with her cleaver in her right hand, it would be difficult to swallow.

The man narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re… a foreigner, aren’t you?”

His expression told her he mustn’t have seen someone akin to him since a long time. Which wasn’t surprising; in the ten months or so since she’d arrived in this country, she didn’t think she had come cross anyone from the Far East like her.

“I am,” Rena simply answer, seeing no reason to lie here.

The swordsman contemplated her for a moment, then his gaze slid towards the cleaver in her hand.

“What were you doing here?”

Rena tried to think up something to get her out of this situation. But no matter how much she ransacked her brain, nothing came to her. So in the end, she just sighed, and smiled at the man.

“I’m here to save the kyute girl in the tower.”

The swordsman had no reaction at all to her arrogant nonchalance. He just stared at her coldly, before an odd, distorted smirk slowly stretched his lips.

“I see. Then I’m sure the lord won’t mind if I kill you in that case.”

And then, before Rena could retort anything, he drew his sword and ran up towards her. Rena’s body reacted instinctively, and when he raised his weapon to cut her she instantly managed to parry it with her cleaver. The two blades clashed in a metallic ringing, but she didn’t have the time to catch her breath that the man went on with his next attack. He assaulted her with a strong rain of hits, one after another, so swift and sharp that the girl could barely see them at all. She greeted her teeth and glared at him, but the man didn’t seem unsettled in the least.

Rena gave the sword a hit more forceful than previously, and managed to get away momentarily before starting running in the mansion’s corridors. The man instantly chased her down, of course.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He shouted at her from behind. “Are you really running away after talking so big? Let me hear you beg for your life and maybe I’ll consider letting you live!”

Rena stayed quiet, not falling for the preposterous provocations. She wasn’t trying to escape, just to buy some time. She knew that man was stronger physically and more skilled than her, by a large margin. There was no way she could beat him in a face-to-face fight. So she had to find another solution, somehow.

In her dash, she inadvertently ended up finding herself in the chapel again. The stained-glass angel was shining of an ominous light thanks to the moon behind it. However, Rena didn’t have the time to admire it this time, as the swordsman quickly caught up to her, chasing her down like a beast towards his prey. Finding herself cornered, she had no other choice but to yet again fend off his sword in the middle of the bench rows. Right under the angel’s impassive gaze, they kept on exchanging hits after hits.

The girl was defending herself quite well, but there was no doubt as to who had the advantage in this fight. In fact, Rena was pretty sure the man was holding himself back against her, maybe just for his own amusement. She groaned, trying to find the slightest opening she could use… but in her impatience, she let her guard down, which the swordsman didn’t hesitate to profit off. He swung down his sword, and the blade mercilessly cut through the girl’s shoulder. She screamed in pain, then lost her balance and fell down on the ground, letting go of her cleaver at the same time.

Despite the vivid pain and the blood already soaking her clothes, she still had the reflex to rush towards her weapon, but at the last moment the man crushed her hand with his heel. She moaned then threw a glare at him. The only change in his expression was now the clear sick pleasure he had to have the girl at his mercy.

“You run quickly and you do know how to use that weapon, I will give you that,” he said, his voice vibrating with sadism, and Rena was pretty sure it was the first emotion she had felt coming from him since earlier. “But it stops here now.”

She said nothing; not letting an ounce of fear transpiring through her blue eyes, not a single hesitation shaking her body. Just anger. The man narrowed his eyes at her curiously; maybe was it because he had expected her to beg and cry for her life. But Rena would never give him the satisfaction.

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t play much more with you sadly, otherwise I could in troubles. Well then—”

He raised his sword, his eyes shining like a predator’s, while the girl was still lying on the ground, bleeding and gasping painfully. And then he struck it down—

“Wait.”

—but stopped at the last moment. Both he and Rena turned around in surprise, to see the shadow of a man drawing near them — the last one of the three, of course.

“Lord…”

The swordsman seemed almost irritated to have the other man barge in, but he still managed to stay courteous enough. The ‘lord’ didn’t seem to notice or maybe care about it though, he just stared down at the teenage girl on the floor.

“Who is she?” He finally asked. “What is going on here?”

“She is an intruder who knows about the witch,” the swordsman replied, his monotonous, indifferent face back in place.

The witch…? Rena repeated in her head, but didn’t have time to ponder much more about it.

“She knows?”

“She told me she was here to save her. This is why I decided to take care of the problem before it could reach you.”

“And since when a dog acts without his master’s orders? The least you could have done is consulting me about it before making that decision.”

“You’re right… I apologize, lord.”

The swordsman politely inclined himself in front of the lord as a sign of excuse, as Rena watched the scene in silence. The wavy-haired man then eyed her with disdain, and crossed his arms.

“Well, it doesn’t matter much either way. We can’t keep her alive if she knows. So just get rid of her.”

Right at the moment he finished his sentence, Rena seized her chance. With the arrival of the lord, the swordsman had stopped paying so much attention to her, which meant it was the only opening she could have. As quickly as she could, she grabbed her cleaver, got back on her feet and almost jumped on the lord. Before the two men even had the time to react, she was already tightly holding the lord’s arms and had her cleaver’s blade under his neck.

“Don’t move!” She yelled, as the swordsman was reaching for his own weapon. “Don’t move or I cut off his head!”

As if to show she was not kidding, she pressed the blade against the skin of the lord even more. The swordsman frowned. He didn’t try to reach for his sword anymore, but he didn’t seem particularly distraught either.

“Do you think I care even slightly about what might happen to this man?” He asked.

Rena smiled. “Probably not,” she admitted. “But he is your boss, isn’t he? You must be working under him because only he can offer you something. So his death would be pretty inconvenient to you. Am I wrong?”

She certainly wasn’t, because a slight annoyed scowl formed on the swordsman’s face.

“I want you to put your sword on the ground, and make it slide towards me,” Rena ordered. “Or else…”

“Don’t listen to her,” the lord finally spoke. “I doubt a girl like her actually could kill anyone. She’s just playing tough.”

However, the swordsman seemed less certain than his employer. He eyed the girl suspiciously, deliberating her order while staring at her in the eyes. Rena sustained it with determination.

“I don’t want to offend you, lord,” he finally said. “But I think I disagree on that one.”

And then, just as he had been told, he put the weapon on the ground and slides it towards Rena, while the lord sighed heavily. She quickly retrieved it, then threw it as far away as she could without letting go of her hostage.

“Now I want you to come towards us.”

They were about three meters away from each others. The swordsman looked at her once again, then stepped forward. Two meters. One meter. And before he could get even closer, Rena suddenly slashed the lord at the waist, and then with a slick movement of the wrist, she cut the swordsman’s throat with great precision.

Blood splattered. She heard the lord groan in pain and fell on his knees, while the swordsman put both of his hands on his neck in an instinctive attempt to block out the blood. But it was fairly vain, as only a few seconds after he collapsed on the ground. Before it, he glared at the girl, an inhuman shine lurking in his eyes, and she thought his lips parted to say something, but she couldn’t tell what.

She looked at his agonizing body drenched in blood on the floor with an emotionless gaze, then she turned around towards the last man, her cleaver still in hand. He was still on his knees, breathing heavily and holding his wound. Rena stared at him in silence for a long time, before finally speaking out.

“You saw me earlier, didn’t you?”

The man only lifted his head towards her.

“When I was in the tower. You clearly looked at me in the eyes.”

“That… must’ve been your imagination…”

“No, I know you did. You saw me. And yet, you said nothing. It would’ve been easy to chase me down and kill me at that moment. In fact…”

She took a step forward, her gaze not letting go of his.

“It would’ve been easier to just let him kill me earlier too, instead of stopping him. Or to try to disarm me when I was holding you. Even with my cleaver at your neck, you’re still stronger than me physically.”

The man sustained her stare, but he said nothing back.

“Could it be… that you did that on purpose?”

His expression didn’t change at her accusation, as if his face had reverted to a mask of stone. But no matter behind which kind of layers and facets he would hide, Rena was still exceptionally good at reading other people.

“Did you want me to do this? To get the keys and free that girl?”

Finally, a haughty grin formed on the man’s lips.

“Hmph. Don’t be ridiculous. I am the lord. There’s no way on earth I’d ever want to do something as ludicrous as this.”

Rena kept on staring at the lord in silence, her eyes as cold as ice. She knew he was lying. But she also wasn’t exactly interested in getting him to say the truth. Her only goal was to free that girl. The rest didn’t matter.

“Well, I suppose so. Either way, it is none of my business.”

And so, she raised her cleaver once again, and gave the man one final blow. He didn’t try to protest or resist, and just collapsed on the ground like his subordinate. Rena then quickly kneeled besides the two bodies, searching them, and finally retrieved the two last keys, as well as another one which she guessed was for the chains.

The young girl was standing here in the chapel in front of the angel, her white dress all drenched in red, with two barely-alive bodies at her feet.

If she were from this country, she would probably find this to be quite the profane picture.

But she wasn’t, and there was only one thing she was interested in.

________________________________________________________________

She took out the three keys one by one, and slowly inserted them. Her hands were greasy because of the blood — both her own and others’ — but she still delicately handled them. The lock opened right away, she barely had to force at all, and then she pushed the door.

Climbing the circular stairs almost felt ceremonious, and the steps seemed a lot longer than the first time she had came here, as if they had suddenly grown infinite during the instant she was dealing with the three men. It took a few minutes for her to reach the top, and when she did she stopped in front of the closed door. As if nervous, she grabbed her satchel in which she had put away her bloody weapon. Her cleaver wasn’t the only thing covered in blood — her dress, her hair, her entire body were completely dark scarlet, and even if she had managed to stop the bleeding, her wound was still hurting quite a bit. She looked as if she had just been out of a war battlefield. She definitely was far from looking like a brave knight rescuing the princess.

But well, she wasn’t a knight, and that girl wasn’t a princess.

With hesitation, she grabbed the handle and stopped. For some reason, she felt… anxious. Why, she had no idea. She had done all of this just to save this stranger, and now that she was so close to her goal, it felt wrong, somehow. She knew she had to hurry before anyone notice something was off inside that mansion, but her feet refused to move. She didn’t even know how she should greet that girl or what to tell her. What if freeing her was a mistake, after all? What if the best choice was to just run away right now?

Rena shook her head, then breathed in forcefully. That wasn’t the time to hesitate. She couldn’t go back now. So she opened the door.

The dim luminosity hurt her eyes, and it took a few seconds for her to adapt to it. Once she did, the familiar, pitiful scenery she had seen earlier appeared yet again before her, in the exact same state, as if nothing that had just happened had been real. The girl was still there, chained, slumped against the wall. Her eyes were closed. Was she asleep? She seemed to be barely alive, to be honest. She looked more… like a corpse.

Wouldn’t that be funny if Rena had done all of that just for the girl to die at the least moment? But she pushed that thought away and took a step further. At this moment, and to her relief, the girl twitched. She suddenly opened her golden eyes and stared straight through her, making Rena almost jump out of surprise. But with the shook cooling off, she was just glad the girl was definitely still alive.

“Hi,” she said in a friendly tone, smiling gently. “I’m Rena.”

The girl replied nothing. She just kept staring at her vacantly, as if she wasn’t really seeing her.

“Ah, d-don’t worry! I’m not here to hurt you, or— or anything like that,” Rena added hurriedly, waving her hands in front of her. “I’m here to save you!”

But her reassuring words seemed to do nothing for the captive. Rena quickly started to grow uncomfortable, and she tilted her head.

“Can you… hear me? Can you?”

No answer. Rena sighed. Well, she seemed to be really out of it. It probably shouldn’t be surprising given what she’s been through until now. Rena didn’t know since when she had been detained here, but she guessed it must’ve been quite some time. Well, it didn’t matter much if she could speak or understand her or not. She just needed to get her out of here as soon as possible. First, she needed to—

“—el…”

Rena suddenly stopped when a hoarse, barely audible voice resounded inside the dark tower. It took some time for her brain to understand that it was coming from the girl.

“—gel…”

“Huh?”

Her murmurs didn’t even sounds like words, more like some background noises that struggled to get out of her mouth. Rena slowly approached the girl, and kneeled in front of her, putting herself down to her height and staring at her in the eyes. But the girl acted as if she didn’t even see her.

“—angel…”

“Angel…?”

“Are you… angel…?”

Rena blinked with surprise when she realized the question. She wasn’t sure if this was addressed to her exactly. Maybe it was addressed to no one. Even so, she slowly took her hand in hers — a tattered, dirty, covered in scratches small hand.

“I’m sorry… I’m not an angel. I’m just some foreign girl who got lost and wandered around here by mistake.”

The girl became silent again, her golden eyes empty.

“But I’m still going to save you.”

And with that, she searched for the keys she had retrieved on the lord’s body, and freed the girl from the chains. As she expected, this got no reaction out of her, so she then grabbed the only remaining arm, and then, after struggling for a bit, she managed to hoist her on her back. It wasn’t easy to carry another girl of the same age while wounded, even if she was extremely light, but Rena could handle it. She had no other choice.

With fumbling steps, she hurriedly get down the steps, walked through the chapel without doing so much as glancing at the men’s bodies spread there, and finally got out of the mansion, not even the stained-glass angel daring to stop her.

________________________________________________________________

She was bleeding.

Red liquid poured out from her wounds, trickling on her bare skin, sullying her body and the ground. It seemed as if the flow was endless. She felt no pain, though — the throbbing and aching had left her a long time ago, and in its stead there was only numbness and emptiness. Her vision was a blur, her mind a haze. She could only perceive shadows moving in front of her, vague laughing and chuckles, joyful voices rejoicing in her torment, like demons dancing in front of her. If someone had told her she was in Hell, she would have believed them.

But she wasn’t in Hell — this was earth, and those were humans, and maybe this was the most disgusting of truth to face for her. The chains around her wrists bounded her to the altar, preventing any escapes she could have.

Suddenly, the shadows stopped moving, and her surrounding began to scramble. Before her mind could understand what was going on, vivid pain reached her arm, lacerating and pitiless. All sorts of landscapes scrolled in front of her eyes — a carriage full of bloody corpses, a cottage in front of a lake, a mansion, a tower.

And finally, the figure of the lord, always standing in her way.

Despair, agony, betrayal, anguish all agglutinated inside her heart at the same time — but the most powerful of all, the one that overwhelmed everything else—

—was hatred.

She rose up, clutching sorely at the sheets as her eyes darted right and left around her. She felt like she was lost inside a fog, the walls around her waltzing and shrieking as if they had a will of their own. As she painfully tried to regain possession of her broken five senses, yet another shadow took shape to her side, producing sounds.

“—ke… —p…”

But she didn’t even try to decipher what it was saying. There was only one and unique shadow that appeared both in her dreams and reality, after all. The lord.

So she pushed him with all of her forces, making him fall on the ground, and then, desperately groping blindly around her, she was able to feel the cold touch of a blade brush her fingers. Without waiting, she grabbed the handle of what looked like a cleaver and jumped on the silhouette before it could move again. She wasn’t strong enough to actually stand up, but she could still hold a weapon. Or stab someone with it.

“Die!”

That was the first word that escaped her mouth. The most precious wish she had cherished during all these months, the only thing that had kept her alive all this time — her voracious hatred.

“Die! Die…! I’ll— make you pay…! You… You—!”

The lord she was straddling caught the blade with his bare hand, unbothered by the blood that soon trickled down his hand. She tried to get back the cleaver, but his grip was too strong.

“Let… go! I will— I’ll kill you!”

“Given how weak you are, I doubt you’ll be able to even kill a fly like this.”

The voice made her stop instantly. Because this… this wasn’t the lord’s voice.

That person didn’t sound like the cruel man who had haunted her nightmares since she was a child… but like a young girl she didn’t know. No, that wasn’t true, she had heard that voice before—  

“—I’m still going to save you.”

She felt completely lost, and the shadow took the occasion to push her away and get back the cleaver. She collapsed on the ground, and all of a sudden it was as if she was a puppet whose strings had been cut off. She had no strength anymore, and just lay there on the floor, her whole body hot and aching. She heard a few slow steps coming towards her, and soon a face came into her view.

Blue eyes like the sky, and orange hair like the sunset. A sweet smile.

“I’m glad you’re awake! Please wait here, I’ll bring you back something to drink.”

________________________________________________________________

The girl came back in the room a few minutes afterwards with water and bread, and helped Morgana get back into the bed. Well, it wasn’t actually a bed, more like something that looked like an old mattress with some blankets thrown on it. As the other sat next to her, she took the glass of water and stared at it absentmindedly.

“I promise it’s not poisoned,” the girl said in a joyful voice. “It’s just water.”

There was a part of Morgana that felt silly of being suspicious of a simple glass of water… but then she remembered that given she had no idea where she even was, it was only natural. So she still didn’t try to drink it.

“I’m really relieved you woke up and seem well! You slept for almost two days, you know? So I was worried. So, um, well, anyway, I already introduced myself before but you probably don’t remember so… I’m Rena! Hey, what is your na—”

“What happened?”

“Wh-What? What? About what…?”

Morgana let out a big sigh and looked away. She could already tell that girl was going to be hard to deal with.

“About everything.”

“Oh… um, um…”

The girl, Rena, fidgeted with a flustered face, as if she was about to tell a very embarrassing story. After a while, she finally managed a small friendly smile.

“Well, it’s a bit, uh, messy, but I’m a foreigner who got lost, and I found out this church by coincidence. I saw you and those… men in the tower, and so… so… I thought I should do something, you know? You know?”

Morgana stared blankly at her, somehow expecting more. But there was nothing else.

“You make absolutely no sense,” she finally declared. “Why would you randomly decide to help out a complete stranger at the risk of your own life?”

“I-I know it’s not very logical! But, well, I just…” Rena closed her mouth. Looked down. “I just couldn’t do nothing.”

“Yes, you could have. That wouldn’t have been very difficult.”

“Are… Are you actually angry at me for saving you…? Are you?”

“So how did you do it? How did you manage to get past the lock and get me out of the tower? I can’t believe these men cooperated willingly.”

“Oh, that. Well, I just cut them with my cleaver, retrieved the keys and got out of here with you as soon as I could.”

She said all of this with a wide smile, as if it was no big deal at all. Morgana stared at her, expecting her to tell her she was kidding, but nothing came afterwards.

“And?”

“Th-That’s all…?”

“That can’t be all. There’s no way a single girl could overpower three men with just a cleaver.”

“Well, it wasn’t easy, it’s true, but it’s possible. As proof, you wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

Morgana felt the urges to yell at her, but managed to stay calm. She didn’t believe her, but she had the sensation that even if she kept asking questions she wouldn’t get another answer. So she breathed in deeply, and tried to gain the most knowledge possible.

“Where are we?”

“Oh… um, I’m not really sure to be honest. I think it must’ve been an old ranch to keep cattle or something, but it seems to have been abandoned for a while. It’s in the middle of the forest, about an hour away from the city. It’s not ideal to hide in, but for now we’ll have to content ourselves with that.”

“What happened to them?”

“The men? Oh… I just knocked out the flaxen-haired boy, so he should be fine, but I dunno what must’ve happened to him afterwards. As for the other two…”

Rena grimaced and looked away. She seemed hesitant to continue speaking, so Morgana had to push her.

“Are they dead?”

“I, uh, I’m not sure? I cut them pretty badly and they were bleeding a lot when I left, but I didn’t actually, um, checked if they were still alive or not…”

“So there’s a chance they’re still alive?”

“Yes… I think.”

“I see… Good.”

“Are you… relieved they’re possibly still alive?”

Morgana snorted at this, which quickly morphed into full on chuckles.

“I suppose you could say that,” she finally blurted out. “Yes… these men, they can’t just die like that… Not after what they did to me…”

She clutched the blanket and her long hair fell in front of her face, darkening her usually pales eyes.

“Dying would be a way too easy fate for them… They need to suffer… Suffer just as much— no, even more than me…”

A fate worse than death. A fate worse than being locked up in a tower and having their blood drained.

A curse — she wanted— needed to inflict a curse upon them, watch their lives slowly get torn apart, one by one—

“Do you intend to take revenge on them?”

Morgana turned her head towards Rena at the sound of her question, and their eyes met. The orange-haired girl was staring at her without saying anything, her face unreadable. She didn’t appear disturbed by Morgana’s grudgeful words in the least, and her question had a surprising innocuous tone to it, as if she had just asked her what was her favorite food.

“Aren’t you… scared of me?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious? Because of… my scars.”

“Oh, those!” Rena chuckled. “Not at all! In fact, I think they are really kyute! That was why I wanted to take you home, you know?”

Morgana felt as if she had just been hit with a rock. ‘Cute’…? Did she just call her scars ‘cute’? Was that girl completely insane? Maybe it should’ve made her feel happy, to hear someone call her hideous face ‘cute’ for the first time, but it actually ended up have the opposite effect.

Instead, she felt angry. Like that girl was mocking her. Mocking her suffering, her struggles, and entire life.

She tensed up and grinded her teeth.

“What are you going to do with me now?”

Rena blinked ingenuously and tilted her head. “What?”

“I’m not an idiot. If you saved me, it must’ve been because of personal interest. So what do you want of me?”

“Wh-What? No! Did you think I was lying earlier?”

“Of course. Who would believe such an inane story? I’m betting you must’ve heard about my blood and came here to profit off it.”

Rena frowned, and she seemed to think for a while before replying:

“Your blood… I saw the men drain it from you in the tower. It’s what the church is giving out as medicine, isn’t it? I heard it was called ‘Saint’s Blood,’ but… it’s actual, real blood. Yours.”

Morgana narrowed her eyes, but stayed quiet.

“Did these men kidnap you? I mean, I can’t believe you would’ve ended up in this tower willingly…”

“This is none of your business.”

“I wasn’t lying earlier. I told you the truth, I promise. So the least you could do is told me your story as well, right?”

“Please. Do you honestly want me to believe you just randomly decided to save me, out of the kindness of your heart? What a generous person you are.”

“Is that something that sounds really so impossible to you? That people just do kind things sometimes?”

Of course that was impossible to her. Everyone in her life had only thought of her as a tool and acted kind as a way to profit off her, even her own mother.

And the only people who hadn’t… well, they were dead now. She had absolutely zero reasons to trust this suspicious foreign girl. For all she knew, she wasn’t even the one who had saved her.

And then, suddenly, Rena started to giggle, which made Morgana even tenser.

“You know what? You’re not wrong, actually. I didn’t save you just out of kindness. I’m not a kind person at all, really.”

Her voice sounded a little off, and Morgana felt a chill goes up her chine. Rena stared at her, but there was an odd shine in her blue eyes, something unwell.

“I just thought you looked kyute and wanted to take you home. So I did. That’s all.”

“What… What are you…?”

“But for now, I don’t intend to do anything with you.”

She suddenly stood up, her smile not leaving her face. “After all, you can barely get out of the bed yet, right? I am also wounded, to tell you the truth, so for now we’ll have to stay here for at least a few days. We won’t be able to stay too long, though, because I can’t believe people won’t do anything after what happened to their lord, so afterwards it’d be safer to just leave the region…”

Morgana couldn’t bring herself to say anything as that girl seemed to plan her next few weeks all by herself. She definitely felt irritated and wanted to shut her up and tell to stop taking all these decisions by herself… but the fact was that, she wasn’t wrong.

Morgana could barely walk, she had one arm missing and had lost a huge quantity of blood during the past few months. There was no way she could just go off on her own.

As if she was reading her thoughts, the girl smiled again and told her in a light voice:

“So in any case, it seems we’re stuck together for now, that you like it or not.”

And then she left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Morgana all alone in the dim room.

________________________________________________________________

It took Morgana at least three days before starting to feel like she was regaining some strength. She still almost couldn’t get out of bed though, so she was spending most of her time in the arranged room, in that bed that wasn’t one, staring at the ceiling and counting the spider webs while she was lost in thought.

Her thoughts, of course, usually came back to what had happened to her. A lot of her memories felt fuzzy, and trying to think too much about it would give her a headache, but she still had managed to retrace the events she had been through in the last few months. Her encounter with the flaxen-haired boy. His betrayal. The beast cutting off her arm and kidnapping her. And finally, discovering it was the lord, out of everyone, that had been behind all of this, for some disgusting greedy plan of using her blood yet again.

Just recounting all of this made her hatred feel stronger than ever, but at the same time, it all felt surreal, as if she had dreamed everything up. As if it was a story she had read somewhere and not something that had actually happened to her. But her missing arm was a sore reminder that all of this was true.

She wanted revenge. That was the thing that had been on her mind all these long, insufferable days inside that tower. She wanted to kill them. Tear out their eyes. Stab their stomachs and watch them bleed to death. Just made them suffer, as much as possible, and by her own hands.

But despite how overwhelming her anger and hatred was… she still felt that slight pang of guilt at this. Not because she pitied the men, but because wishing harm upon others would just go against her very identity as a saint. Saints were martyrs. It didn’t matter how much humans could hurt them, they had no right to retaliate in any way, because they were pure and selfless.

But could she really call herself a saint, after how much she had been mutilated and tainted and mangled?

(Had she ever been a saint to begin with, though?)

“Hey! Lunch’s ready!”

Her door brusquely opened, and a smiling young girl burst into the room with a tray full of food.

“I tried to make something new today, I hope you like it! Sorry, I’m not too used to the food of this country yet, so hopefully it’s not so bad…”

The girl kept babbling happily while sitting next to Morgana, not seeming bothered in the least by her glare. She had acted like that for the past few days, as if the two of them were friends and not strangers clearly suspicious of each others.

Rena was a weird girl. She was a cheerful, friendly person, and despite how coldly Morgana treated her or how much she tried to ignore her she kept talking and taking care of her with a sweet smile on her face. From time to time, she’d have odd reactions like getting flustered about the most ridiculous of things or getting lost in thought and fawning about things that escaped common sense. She wasn’t afraid or disgusted by her scars, either. She loved cooking and pampering her and ran around the abandoned ranch energetically despite her own wound.

She had told her some vague information about her, how she came from a country in the Far East and had been here for business with her father and how they got separated, but she never gave any details about it.

In a way, Rena reminded Morgana a little of her time at the brothel, as a weird mix of the blonde woman who acted as a big sister to everyone and the exhaustingly cheerful dark-skinned girl. (But no matter how she tried, she couldn’t remember their names, or even their faces.)

And all of this, actually, made Morgana more uncomfortable than anything. She actually would’ve preferred that Rena treat her coldly rather than that, it would’ve been less tiring and unpredictable. Because she was sure these acts of kindness and friendliness would end soon enough, at any moments.

There was something… dark lurking in Rena’s shadows, in the deepness of her blue eyes, and that darkness couldn’t help but make Morgana suspicious of her whenever she’d smiles at her.

“You don’t eat?”

Rena asked her with a worried look, as she was biting into her own piece of bread.

“I’m not hungry.”

“No, that’s not good! You have to eat, otherwise you won’t get better.”

“Maybe I don’t want to get better. Maybe I just want to stay here and wither away all alone.”

Rena’s happy smile fell from her lips, and instead a frown darkened her face. This was a serious expression she would take sometimes, when Morgana acted a bit too cold towards her.

“No, you won’t,” she said, and it almost sounded like an order. “You will eat now. I didn’t prepare all of that for you to waste it, and I didn’t save your life for you die now.”

“I never asked you to prepare this, or to save my life, for that matter.”

“So you would’ve preferred to stay in that tower and die all alone there?”

Of course not, who would want that? Morgana almost spat out, but she restrained her tongue.

Certainly, she wasn’t content with her situation right now and it was more than frustrating to be at the mercy of this weird, suspicious stranger… but she knew there were still worse fates. Like being chained up on that altar under the cruel mad eyes of a lord. Or dying little by little in a tower without anyone even knowing about it.

She sighed, then after a few moments, finally grasped the fork Rena was holding out to her and piqued inside her plate. She made a point to not look at the other girl, but she could still guess her satisfied smile on her face, which pissed her off. She had the reflex to want to use her second arm, before having the painful realization she could never do so ever again. She still wasn’t used to this, and with the pain having fading away, she sometimes had the sensation to still have it.

Her life would never be like before ever again. She already knew that of course, and it wasn’t the first time she had experienced that feeling, but right now she felt even more lost and disoriented.

She had her hypothetic revenge to keep her alive, sure. But then what? What was she supposed to do after that? She couldn’t go back to being the witch of the lake selling herbs to whoever would dare to come. She just…

“Do you want me to help you eat?”

Morgana glared at Rena. “I am not a child,” she dryly replied. “Don’t treat me like one.”

“A-Ah, sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just, uh…”

Morgana angrily started eating her food while Rena fell quiet, her cheeks as red as a tomato. Their meals were generally just a handful of vegetables and bread, or sometimes potages. Which was comprehensible given they were technically in hiding, so Rena couldn’t go in town often to buy supplies. Furthermore, they had no money.

Well… I don’t have money. I actually don’t know about her… That’s right, how did she even get the flour for the bread? And the dishes?

“So, um, don’t you think it’s time for you to tell me now?”

Morgana stopped eating, and looked up at Rena strangely.

“What?”

“I want to know your name,” Rena specified gently. “And, well… I’d like you to tell me a bit more about you, too. Like, what were you doing before getting… in that tower? Don’t you have any family?”

“You don’t need to know my name.”

“But I told you mine. You can’t risk much by telling me your name, right?”

Well, she had a point. But the last person she had trust with her name had betrayed her and she found herself with one arm missing locked up in a mansion.

“I… don’t have any family,” she finally decided to say. “Before that, I lived by myself in a small cottage near a lake.”

“Oh. That sounds… lonely.”

Rena grimaced while saying this, and the idea of being pitied by that girl felt incredibly insulting for some reason.

“And then those men kidnapped you?”

“Yes… Well the beas— the swordsman did. The flaxen-haired boy lured me in so he could have my arm. It was all under the lord’s orders.”

“Hmm…”

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to tell her all of that, but those were all things she could’ve guessed by herself anyway. More than anything, Morgana still expected her to ask her information about her blood, and then to give some to her… But apparently that wasn’t even something that crossed Rena’s mind.

“Don’t you have any friends either?”

“What? No… Why would you demand that?”

“Well, for nothing? I did have a nice group of friends back in my village, you know. We were pretty close, I think… I think.”

For some reason, her gaze became a bit vacant, as if she was doubting her own words.

“Then what happened to them?”

“Nothing… They’re still back in my village.”

And then she stayed unusually quiet. Not like Morgana was all that interested in knowing more about this girl or her so-called friends, anyway.

“So, so! You finished eating, right? Let me bring all that back, then!”

“Ah— Wait—”

Morgana tried to grab Rena to stop her, but she missed her and instead fell on the ground. She heard Rena gasp loudly and run towards her instantly.

“A-Are you okay? Are you? O-Oh, wait, I’ll help you get up, I’ll—”

“I’m okay! I’m okay…”

Morgana raised herself up with her only elbow, and grinded her teeth at how difficult it was without her other one. Rena stared at her worryingly.

“How did you fall so bad…?”

“It’s… my arm, I think…”

“Huh?”

“I’m… still not used to it, so I lost balance… It’s nothing.”

“Oh…”

Morgana instinctively brought a hand to her shoulder, where the rest of the arm should have been. It felt so off. So wrong, to have just an empty space here, and it made her stomach turn. They both sat on the ground face to face, without saying anything for a moment. It felt too awkward, for some reason. Then, suddenly, Rena broke the silence:

“You want me to bring it back to you?”

Morgana almost strangled herself.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You said the one who took it was that boy Mell, right? Then I could go ask him to give it back.”

“Y-You want to bring me back my arm?”

“Yes? That’s a bad idea?”

“D-Do you even hear yourself? That’s insane. Even if you were to get it back somehow, what would I do with it now?”

Rena put a finger on her lip, and tilted her head innocently. “Sew it back?”

“You’re completely crazy!”

Morgana shouted at her, and the process made her whole body hurts. She coughed a little, and then heard a giggle. When she raised her head, the other girl was laughing softly.

“It’s the first time I see you getting angry like that,” she simply said, smiling. “Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s the first time I see you having any kind of emotion at all… Well, except for glaring at me. Does that count as an ‘emotion’? Does it…?”

Wait. Could it be… that she said all those inane things on purpose? To makes me react?

Morgana stared at Rena blankly for a moment… then she snorted.

“You are really weird,” she mumbled.

“Hmhmm, I know.”

Maybe… being at the mercy of this strange girl wasn’t the worst of fate. Maybe it was something she could actually survive, this time. She sighed, then looked up at Rena.

“I… am Morgana,” she said softly.

Rena blinked at her in astonishment, her mouth opening so wide an entire apple could fit in it.

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t trust you in the slightest. But like you said, it would be pretty awkward if I was the only one knowing your name…”

A big, silly smile brightened Rena’s face. She giggled yet again and nodded happily.

“Your name ends just like mine,” was the only comment she made.

________________________________________________________________

“—ou think?”

“Huh…?”

Morgana gasped, and looked around her with agitation. Rena was in front of her, looking strangely at her.

“Morgana? A-Are you okay…?” She asked warily.

“I-I… ah…”

The first thing she saw was a blinding light. There was a soft wind brushing her skin. Her eyes stung and it took her a few long seconds to make sense of her surroundings. She was outside, in front of the ranch. The entire area was covered by enormous trees, so the place felt fairly dark, but some sunlight still managed to pierce the foliage. In a way, it gave her a sense of security, as if no one would ever be able to find them here.

Morgana was drowsy and numb, her mind a mess, as if she had just wake up from a particularly deep slumber. The sudden light made her feel a bit dizzy and she quickly sat on a rock nearby to not stumble, under Rena’s worried gaze. What was she doing here…? She remembered waking up this morning, eating lunch, and then… then nothing came to her mind, like she had just blanked out.

“Hey, what’s going on…?” Rena asked again.

“I’m… fine,” Morgana blurted out, massaging her temples. “What… uh, what are we doing here?”

Rena blinked, a clear confusing sprouting on her face. “What? What do you mean?”

“I… mean what I mean. Why are we outside?”

But her precision only seemed to worsen the situation. Rena looked at her as if she had told her the world was going to get destroyed.

“We… um, u-um, th-that’s… I mean, well, uh, you— you don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Ah, a-after lunch I proposed we go outside for a bit, and you accepted, and we were just talking about what we would do if it started raining…”

This time, it was Morgana who was confused. She stared at Rena as if expecting her to explain the situation, but manifestly the other girl didn’t understand any more than her.

“You… really forget?” Rena asked again. “Y-You were talking with me normally up until now though…”

“I… was?”

She had no recollections of such a thing, though. After lunch, she had no recollections at all. What had happened? Had she really just… blanked out? She breathed in, trying to regain her calm and reflect about this logically. Now that she was thinking about it… this wasn’t really the first time this happened. She had vague memories of experiencing something similar as a child during her time at the brothel, but she was pretty sure it had stopped after she started living at the cottage. Or, well, maybe it did happen again, but given most of the time she was alone it was hard to tell…

“Morgana…?”

But in any case, it wasn’t something she needed to tell Rena about.

“I’m fine. It’s nothing important.”

“Are you sure…?”

“Yes. Forget about it.”

Rena stared at her for a while. It was obvious she wasn’t convinced at all, but still one of her usual smile blossomed on her face and she nodded.

“All right! Well, I’m just glad you’re able to walk and go out by yourself now. I’m sure you’ll be full of energy in no time!”

“I have… never been ‘full of energy’…”

Rena laughed light-heartedly and started to spun and bounces on her legs, as if practicing some sort of weird dance. Morgana sighed. Just watching her move like that was tiring to her. But… in the last few days, she had managed to get used to it. Sort of.

“What about you?”

Rena stopped moving and looked at Morgana interrogatively.

“What?”

“You were wounded too, right? At the shoulder, if I recall.”

“Ooh! That! Haha, I’m okay, I’m okay!”

“It seemed like it was a pretty severe injury, though…”

“It did hurt quite badly, but I’ve always recovered very quickly! I’m tougher than I look, you know? You know?”

“Is that so…”

“Were you worried about me?”

“Don’t be stupid.”

Rena laughed yet again, and Morgana rolled her eyes, and it seemed it had pretty much been their relationships since at least their first conversation.

“And…” Morgana started again, a bit hesitantly. “What do you intend to do now? Didn’t you want to find you way back? To search your father?”

“Hmm…” Rena crossed her arms, a pensive look on her face. “I guess so. Yeah, that’s probably what I’ll do, once you’re completely fine again.”

“You don’t seem convinced… Aren’t you worried about your father?”

“I think he’s fine… He’s a bit clumsy, but he’s still a grown up, you know.”

Even so, Morgana thought she was talking about him in a weird detached way, like he was some random neighbor or distant relative she didn’t know well.

“Aren’t you very close?”

“We are! Of course I’m worried. I’m just… I dunno. Maybe it’s just better that way, because I can’t really go back to him, or to my village…”

“Why? What about your mother?”

“My mother’s gone.”

A smile was still on her face, but it was a cold one. It made Morgana uncomfortable, and she understood she wouldn’t be able to get anything more out of her about this. The more she tried to learn about Rena, and the more mysterious she felt. It was almost frustrating…

“Anyway, how about we play a game?”

Morgana felt startled at Rena’s sudden change of mood and proposition. At the very least, she couldn’t say she was bored with that girl…

“A game?”

“Yeah! Look, I have this with me…” All while talking, she began to look through her satchel and pulled out what looked like a deck of cards. “One of my friends, you see, is a big game collector, and she gave this to me before we come here. The rules are really easy! Wanna try?”

“I don’t like games.”

Rena looked suddenly horrified, as if Morgana had given her a death sentence.

“You’re kidding, right? Right? There’s no way anyone dislike games!”

“Well, I do,” Morgana added. “I never even played one.”

Back in her village, the other kids would never approach her. At the brothel, maybe some of the prostitutes had proposed her to play some simple games with them at times, or the slave man had tried to get her to play with other children her age, but she had always refused. As the daughter of God, she couldn’t let herself be associated with such baseless entertainments.

“N-Never?” Rena sounded even more shocked. “Not even when you were a child?”

“No, I never had any interest in that. It is just meaningless.”

At this moment, Rena’s expression changed. Her face grew serious, and she frowned, as if Morgana had said something particularly offensive.

“It is not meaningless,” she declared, in a tone so serious Morgana wasn’t even able to retort anything. “Games are so important. They can bring so many things to people. So many things! If you have never even played one once, then there’s no way you could be able to understand that.”

Morgana felt bewildered. Why did she seem so angry about something ridiculous like that? Wasn’t that just a game? But before she could say anything, Rena fiercely grabbed her hand, forcing her to stand up, and dragged her inside the ranch.

“I’ll show you!” She said with determination.

“Wh-What?”

“We’ll play together! Whether you want it or not!”

Morgana felt like yelling at her, but for some reason the strength of Rena’s hand holding hers and the firmness of her steps felt undefeatable. So she let herself got dragged inside, sat on a bench and watched the other spread the cards in front of her without saying a word.

Rena explained the rules to her in a confident voice, as if she had done this her entire life (maybe she had, after all). The rules were, indeed, fairly simple: the cards had all different colors with some cute animals drawn on them. There was also a few characters on them which Morgana guessed were in Rena’s country language, but she told her it was just the names of the animals and not necessary to the game. To win you had to get rid of all the cards.

She was given one mercy round to get used to the game, but when things actually started Morgana quickly realized behind her sweet façade, Rena was extremely ruthless. She may be an airhead, slow girl in appearance, but she was in reality pretty shrewd.

“You have to cheat,” Morgana suddenly said after losing for the eighth time. “It’s not possible to win so many times.”

“I did not! I’m just really good at this game, and you’re not.”

“You liar. I refuse to play against you again until you tell me your trick!”

At this moment, Rena smiled maliciously, and looked at her with a mix between amusement and endearment, which felt incredibly condescending.

“Wh-What?”

“You know, despite the fact you act so composed and mature most of the time, you’re actually a really sore loser.”

Morgana felt her cheeks flare up, and never did she felt as glad that her hideous scars were there as now to cover up that fact.

“That’s quite the accusation, I am certainly not a sore loser. I think this is fair of me to ask for a proof that you are not cheating.”

But Rena simply starting laughing and Morgana suddenly felt like a flustered child trying to deal with a bully.

“S-Stop making fun of me!”

“Haooo, you’re so kyute! I wanna take you home! Ah, but I guess we’re already home, huh… Then can I hug you? Can I?”

“No. Stop that, you are grossing me out.”

“H-Hao… How mean…”

“I already told you to stop treating me like a child.”

“S-Sorry! You’re just… really making me think of one of my friends right now. She was also quite the sore loser.”

“Like I said, I am not—”

Morgana stopped, and let out a deep sigh. Evidently, Rena would not listen to her no matter what she said. The other girl giggled a little, and then an odd, nostalgic smile stretched her lips.

“My friends and I, we used to play these games all the time. We would gather everyday and play together like that… It was fun.”

For a few seconds, she seemed lost in thought, as if thinking back about her hometown. Then she looked up at Morgana, this time with a gentle smile directed at her.

“It felt a little like when I played with them right now,” she admitted. “It was fun too. Thank you.”

Morgana only looked away while restraining another sigh. She couldn’t say she had ‘fun,’ — she even felt quite annoyed she hadn’t been able to win even once — but… it had not been a bad experience. She would never bring herself to say this to Rena, though. Or to anyone, for that matter.

“You sounded close,” she suddenly blurted out, without looking at Rena in the eyes. “With your friends.”

“Yeah… I guess…”

“You ‘guess’?”

This time, it was Rena who looked away — not out of embarrass or shame, but in a contemplative way. Her face was neutral, as if all emotions had left her.

“I think… other people are quite weird, you see. I like my friends, but we were only just playing around together. We were close while laughing, joking, messing around… But…” She stopped. “When things actually started to get rough, I still was unable to believe in them and ask for their help. I couldn’t help feeling they’d betray me anyway. I was stabbed in the back like that in the past, you see.”

Morgana almost felt like Rena was more talking to herself than anyone else, so she simply listened to her in silence.

“I wanted to be… happy. And I thought I was happy, in my village. I was around people I loved and who loved me. But sometimes I just wonder if it all wasn’t just some façade. A factice happiness, maybe. Or maybe it’s just all part of Oyashiro’s curse too…”

She turned her head towards Morgana, and smiled at her in an odd self-deprecating manner.

“What is happiness, though? How do you know when you are truly happy?”

Morgana was unable to answer to that.

________________________________________________________________

The lord was laughing.

His voice was strident and raucous, rasping her ears, piercing her mind. But she couldn’t do anything, couldn’t stop listening to it. The ground seemed to get loose with each chuckles, and the walls appeared to want to swallow her alive. Everything was hurting, aching, crashing. She wanted to scream, but her throat didn’t even allow her that.

“No tears — now that’s a good girl. Dignified and saintly — that’s what I need you to be.”

Mangled words resounded in her head, but she couldn’t make any sense of them. The only thing she could feel were the chains around her ankle, and the vivid, unbearable pain in her arm.

It hurts, it hurts, it all hurts so much — and it was all their fault — those three disgusting men. The lord.

That’s right, she had swore to get her revenge against them, to get their heads, for what they had dared to do to her. They locked her up — she who was a saint, the daughter of God — and treated her even worse than cattle — made her a witch, draining her blood day after day until nothing was left of her…

Everything was hurting her, this whole world was worse than Hell itself — and the only way for it to end was to finally kill her torturers.

I wasn’t born to spend my whole life suffering—

She woke up with a start, gasping for air and feeling nauseous. Her entire body was trembling and she couldn’t breathe. She felt like a fish out of water and her mind, still trapped inside that tower, could see nothing but blood and chains and death. Her surroundings was spinning around her, but in a desperate attempt to make a term to her suffering, she jumped out of bed and ran outside the ranch.

It was pitch dark outside, even barely any stars shined in the sky, and the giant trees in front of her looked more like demons ready to tear out her soul at any moment. Yet, she kept running into the woods, bare feet, not caring about the way her long red hair got caught in the branches or how her skin got scratched. The feeling felt familiar, like an odd sensation of déjà-vu, and for a moment she thought she was back to being eleven years old in the slums, running without any goal in the middle of the narrow streets.

(Except this time, no kind young man would come calm her down and carry her on his back to show her the sunrise—)

She only managed to stop when her legs stopped supporting her and she collapsed on the ground. Leaning on the trunk of a tree, she kneeled down, coughed, and finally threw up everything she had in her stomach. It was as if she was trying to evacuate all the horrifying events she had gone through, trying to purify herself from all the pain and suffering and hatred. When she finally stopped, she felt empty — both in her stomach and in her heart. With no strength, she simply lay down against the trunk and stopped moving, before slowly closing her eyes.

Suicide was a sin and she would never even consider this an option, no matter how tainted she was, but in this very instant… she honestly wished she could just die. Just slowly fall asleep here, and never open her eyes again…

Unfortunately, fate wasn’t on her side, as instead she heard noise that instantly got her out of her slumber. She immediately turned around, and in the horizon, she saw some vague small lights. There were footsteps, too. And voices.

Who on earth could be out there in the woods this late at night? The will to know the answer to this question was stronger than her exhaustion and numbness, and she gathered all of her strength left to stand up and slowly approach the lights. After a few moment, she noticed apparently a group of men — at least four of them, on horses, with torches.

Actually, those weren’t simple men. They were wearing heavy armors, and swords — which meant they were likely knights or guards. At first, she didn’t think much of it. These men were working for the Church generally after all, weren’t they? Anyone serving God was deserving of respect. But then she suddenly remembered that actually, there was another authority they listened under other than the Church: the lord.

At this moment, a chill ran down her spine and she instantly backed away. A part of her wanted to believe it was only a coincidence. But it would be too naïve a way of thinking. Why would a group of guards wander in the middle of the woods at night? If the lord had survived, then there was only one answer…

They were searching for the witch that had escaped the lord’s clutches.

Panic grasping her, she started to run yet again despite how much pain her legs was in, but this time in the inverse direction. She traversed the forest with even more speed than earlier while her heart was beating so strong in her chest she thought it was about to explode and that her mind was only focused on one thing: that she didn’t want to go back there. She didn’t want to go back in the tower, not back to being chained and getting her blood drained. She’d rather get killed horribly than this.

The ranch appeared in sight rather quickly, but it was barely a relief at all, and she entered it before slamming the door behind her. There, she had only the strength to fall on the floor, gasping painfully.

Why was this happening? How did these men manage to arrive there? It had been about two weeks since her escape, but still, it felt too early. How were they able to find them in the middle of these lost woods? Had someone told them? Had someone—

“Morgana?”

A sweet voice got her out of her thoughts, and when she raised her head, Rena was here, in a pink nightgown, holding a candle.

Rena.

“Is everything okay? I heard noise…”

There were only the two of them here, after all.

“Morgana…?”

With some strength she didn’t know she still possessed, Morgana stood up, grabbed the cleaver that rested against the wall, and jumped on Rena. The candle crashed onto the floor, plunging them in darkness — only the dim moon through the window lightened the room. It was like a reenactment of their first meeting, except this time Morgana was fully aware who she was threatening with the blade.

“What are—”

“Shut up! You’re the one who warned them, right?”

Rena’s blue eyes, shining like jewels under the moon, widened like saucers.

“Them?”

“I knew it! You were suspicious from the start! Of course you’d do something like that!”

“I have no idea what you—”

“Stop lying now! I knew you’d betray me!”

An odd expression spread across Rena’s face that Morgana couldn’t exactly identify, but she had no intention to anyway. Anger and panic and fear all overwhelmed her mind and reason, and flashes of the flaxen-haired boy and of his kind smile and sweet words turned in a circle inside her head.

This girl was just like him, after all. Her smile was only there to trick her, and all of her words were honeyed poison.

“Calm down, you don’t make any sense,” Rena talked again. “Think about it, why would I—”

“I told you to stop lying!”

Morgana raised the cleaver and lowered it towards the other girl’s neck, but she managed to block out the blade and kick her in the stomach with her knee. Morgana momentarily coughed and lost balance, giving Rena enough time to got away from her and stood back up, but she didn’t let this rattle her. Quickly getting back on her knees, she yet again swung the cleaver at Rena, who avoided it by only a few margins.

“Stop that! You might be better now, but there’s no way you can win against me with my own cleaver!”

But Morgana couldn’t care less about Rena’s words. That girl was just like the three men. No, maybe she was worse — because she had actually tried to save her and gain her esteem before throwing her back into hell.

She wouldn’t forgive her. Not Rena, not the lord, not the three men, not anyone—

She kept swinging the cleaver at Rena, again and again, destroying quite a few of the woodwork in the process, but the girl was as agile as a cat and managed to get away from her hits with only a few cuts.

She couldn’t forgive, because that was all she had left now.

Everything else had been taken from her.

Her identity, her life, her possible happiness and future… everything had been crushed at the hands of humans.

Everything was just unfair and cruel and disgusting.

“Just… disappears!”

For some unfathomable reason, her Father had just abandoned her.

No… maybe he had never been at her side from the beginning.

Maybe her mother had been right. Maybe she was not the child of God, but of some devil.

Maybe she truly was a witch, after all—

“Die!”

Finally, blood splashed onto her face and dress. It looked black under the moon. She had hit Rena on her left hip, which made her let out a constricted moan while glaring at Morgana, before putting her back against the wall and letting herself fall on the ground. Morgana looked down at her coldly, taking slow steps towards her.

The girl was completely at her mercy. There was no way she could defend herself with such a wound. She would probably bleed to death if she left her like that too. Yet, Rena’s eyes showed no fear. It was as if death wasn’t something that even crossed her mind… or maybe it did, but it wasn’t something she cared about. Well, it was fine either way.

She raised the cleaver one last time, her eyes glaring down at the gasping girl.

She saw the flaxen-haired boy figure in her stead. The beast’s. The lord’s.

Her hands tightened around the handle, and she lowered it.

But the blade didn’t hit Rena at all.

Instead, it planted itself inside the wooden ground next to her.

Morgana was shaking. Her trembling hands let go of the cleaver, and she fell on her knees, her long hair scattering around her like a veil. A long silence swallowed the room, where even barely their breathing could be heard.

“What are you doing?” Rena suddenly asked softly.

Morgana shook her head.

“I have… no idea…”

She plunged her face in her hands.

“I have… honestly no idea at all. I don’t know what I should be doing anymore… I lived all my life being so sure of who I was and what I should be doing, but now… I have nothing of that anymore… The only thing I desire is revenge, but I don’t even think I have the strength to get it…”

She didn’t know why she suddenly bared her heart like that. Maybe she wasn’t really talking to Rena. Maybe she was just letting out feelings that had been swarming inside her head for the past days… no, maybe even for the past months and years.

“I really… don’t know what I should be doing from now on anymore… I feel—”

—like the entire hate me. Like God Himself hates me. Like fate and the universe have just decided to make me miserable for the rest of my pitiful life.

‘I wasn’t born to spend my whole life suffering,’ she had yelled in her heart, as hatred and anger and despair boiled inside her…

But what was she born for exactly?

“I feel… cursed.”

Another silence — no sounds, no noise to disturb her intimate monologue. Until a giggle break the moment. Morgana lifted her head slowly, and stared with confusion at the girl who was chuckling heartily as if she had just said the funniest joke ever.

“What a coincidence,” she finally said. “I am cursed too.”

Morgana blinked, her eyes stinging. She wasn’t crying, though — she felt as if all of her tears had left her a long time ago already, maybe when she had been brought inside that tower — and now she was just completely empty.

But in this moment, the girl in front of her looked just as empty and lost as her.

“I might… have lied to you a little,” Rena suddenly admitted. “I didn’t actually come here with my father.”

Her gaze lifted up towards the moon behind Morgana, as if to help her focus.

“There’s a deity called Oyashiro in my village, you see. She protects it and its inhabitants, and prevents any strangers to come in. But, on the other hand, there is also an unspoken rule you are not allowed to leave the village or you’d trigger her wrath.”

“A… deity?”

“I know in your country there is only one God who rules everything, but in mine, we have different faiths. Our ‘deities’ are not really the same as yours, but at least I know Oyashiro is real. She spoke to me, quite a few times. And she also cursed me.”

Morgana restrained her instinctive envy to say this was nonsense and that there was only one God in this universe, as stating the contrary felt like a personal insult to her. But she felt too exhausted to fight Rena on this, and just wanted to keep hearing the rest of the story. Maybe Rena guessed her train of thoughts, and Morgana wondered if maybe denying her village’s ‘deity’ would feel like an insult to her too, but she made no comments about it.

“Why did she curse you? Oh… Because you left.”

“Yes, though I was cursed before that. As a child, my family left the village to find jobs in a bigger city. I’ve lived there a few years, but then my mother… left,” she said, spiting the word, and Morgana felt there was a lot of grudge in that sentence, but she didn’t ask about it. “So my father and I came back. And then I thought it would be okay. It was, for some time. I met my friends. I thought I’d be happy again. But… Dad was still jobless, and in the end, he attracted the attention of some bad people.”

Her eyes darkened, and she clenched her jaw.

“These people wanted to use him. They wanted to take away my happiness. So I had to do everything I could to prevent this. I had to.”

“What did you do?”

Rena stared straight into Morgana’s eyes, her gaze resolute.

“I killed them.”

This should’ve come off as a surprised. This should’ve shocked Morgana to her core. But for some reason, it didn’t. Maybe she had already understood, somewhere deep inside, that this girl was a killer.

“But… I suppose I made a mistake. Or maybe that was just the curse. I think, some people related to the two I killed discovered it, and tried to come after me. I was knocked out, and when I came back to myself I was inside a boat’s hold, chained up, with a lot of other people.”

The blurry image of the aftermath of the brothel’s raid flashed through Morgana’s mind, as she was tied up inside that carriage with all those other strangers… just before the beast slaughtered all of them.

“Slave traders?” She asked.

“I’m not sure,” Rena added. “I was dragged around for quite some time, in boat and carriage, and thankfully none of them thought of checking my satchel. So when I got the occasion, I slashed them up and escaped. And that’s how I ended up here.”

Morgana sighed. She could understand why Rena would make up that lie, it certainly wasn’t a story she could to tell to everybody.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get back to my village, and even if I do… with what I did, I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever gain my happy life back anyway.” She chuckled. “Well, that’s something I’ve always known. Happy days never last.”

That was something Morgana could relate to all too well, and she hated how much similarities she could find in Rena’s words. The girl in front of her had just admitted to her she was a killer, a sinner of the worst category. It was disgusting and almost above salvation. And yet… she felt no disgust towards her at all. Only…

Maybe only something akin to sympathy.

That just illustrated how far she had fallen. But right now, she didn’t care all that much about it.

Without saying a word, she rose up, disappeared in the other room and came back her hands full of bandages. Rena watched her kneel besides her and starting to clean up her wound.

“What are you doing…?”

“Isn’t that obvious? I’m treating you. We can’t stay here any longer. I spotted some guards afar from here, and I bet they’re working for the lord. We need to get out of here before that.”

“Oh… so that’s why you suddenly panicked.” Rena chuckled. “Do you not think I betrayed you anymore?”

Morgana stopped her treatment, her eyes staring fixedly at the ground.

“I don’t know,” Morgana admitted. “You’re a killer and a sinner. I cannot trust you.”

“I bet,” Rena said, and there was clear amusement in her voice.

Morgana wondered how she managed to use a joking tone with such a heavy wound, but then again, she had been able to narrate her entire life story without so much as flinching despite it.

“But,” she added, still without looking at the other girl in the eyes. “I… can’t let you die here.”

“Really?”

“Take this as thanks for you saving me from the tower.”

“It’s you who inflicted this wound on me, though…”

“I won’t apologize for that, if that’s what you’re expecting. I still think my suspicions were fair enough.”

Rena opened her mouth to reply, but instead she just let out a moan as Morgana started to apply the bandage.

“You’re really rough,” she complained.

“I’m more used to handle dead bodies.”

“You what?”

“It’s nothing… For now, this should okay. We can’t spend any more time here anyway.”

All while talking, she helped Rena to stand up by handing her a shoulder and letting her lean on her body. Morgana was far from being a strong girl, so supporting the other weight of another human was quite the struggle for her. She thought about how Rena must have carried her all by herself from the tower to here, and wondered how on earth she managed to accomplish such a prowess. She certainly didn’t look any physically stronger than her.

Am I really starting to trust her words now? Stop being silly, Morgana.

But despite lecturing herself, she still gathered all of her strength to help out support the other girl as best as she could. As they slowly passed by the window, they could see a few lights twinkling in the distance. The guards had probably noticed the ranch by now, and were starting to approach dangerously close to it.

“They seem to be quite a few…”

“I’ve seen at least four of them earlier. Let’s hurry.”

In spite of these words, they couldn’t exactly run with Rena in this condition, and Morgana could hear her hiss and groan with each steps they took. She knew her wound was still bleeding too, but now was too late to regret her hysterical episode from earlier. She still thanked God that the ranch had a back door, and they managed to reach it after a few minutes of hobbling, finally leaving behind the dilapidated habitation they had occupied for the last weeks.

Once outside, they staggered a little in the middle of the forest, then took a pause against a large trunk. Rena was already gasping heavily, and they hadn’t even been walking for five minutes.

“How’s your wound?”

“Pretty bad,” she groaned. “I… doubt I’ll be able to run away from them like that.”

“We don’t have a choice, though.”

“You have a choice, however. You could just leave me here.”

“Not interested.”

Rena chuckled. “You really are a sore loser.”

“Shut up.”

Morgana sighed and sat down next to Rena, and the two of them stayed quiet for quite some time.

“You’re really okay with taking the risk to get back inside that tower because of me?”

“Then what about you? I just tried to kill you, and you seem completely fine with putting your life in my hands.”

“That’s right. That’s really weird, huh.”

“It truly is.”

Rena giggled yet again, and if Morgana didn’t felt so exhausted, maybe she would’ve let herself laugh with her.

“If we do manage to get out of these woods…”

Rena started talking again, her voice a whisper.

“What do you want to do?”

That was a question Morgana had asked herself ever since she had been out of that tower. How ridiculous that she’d spent the last few months wish for any kind of miracle to free her, and now that she was free, she was even more lost than she’d ever been in her life.

“Do you still intend to take your revenge?”

“Probably…” She hesitated a little, trying to search for the stars behind the heavy foliage of the trees. She found none.

“That’s the only thing I have left.”

“I see…”

“And you?”

“I still have no idea either. Healing that wound would be a start. And then maybe I’ll be able to find another kyute thing to take home.”

“We really won’t have much to look forward to then, huh.”

“I guess.”

They shared another moment of silence. Behind them, the sounds of the guards breaking open the door resounded brutally, but this put neither of them into a panic.

They just kept staring at the sky, entirely camouflaged by the trees.

Until, Morgana finally stood up again, and handed her hand to Rena. The girl smiled, neither a gentle or cruel one, before grabbing it.

Morgana had no idea where they could go, and they had very little chance to be able to run away from the guards.

But, in this instant, putting aside all of her complicated and complex feelings, she swore to herself they’ll manage to escape this place no matter what.

This was her gratitude for the lost girl who had saved her from the tower.

A mean for both of them to find their ways back.

[sovinly]

For your ficlet prompts: Could I have something with R and Combeferre, maybe for "I... Im surprised you knew that. No one else can wax pedantic quite so poetically." Please and thank you and you're wonderful and I hope life is being good to you.

(Thank you so much for your long bout of patience! You’re always the loveliest and wonderful, and I hope life is treating you well! Life has been rather absurdly busy lately, but I’ve finally gotten to this prompt and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

There’s a heavy silence, growing the awkward the longer itsits unanswered.

“I... I’m surprised you knew that,” Grantaire finally says,when the wait becomes too much. He clears his throat nervously, fidgets with aloose thread on his shirt hem, tries for a grin. “No one else can wax pedanticquite so poetically.”

Combeferre smiles back, gentle and maybe a little anxious atthe same time. “You pick up quite a bit, practicing for my line of work.”

“No, I know that,” Grantaire agrees, and sighs deeply,slumping in his chair. “It’s just the difference, between, y’know, knowing thatyou and Joly can give me clinical rundowns of statistics of having a fucked upbrain, and you peeling me apart like an onion.”

“If I’ve overstepped…” Combeferre starts, with a prodigious frowndigging furrows in his brows.

Yes, Grantaire wants to say, and yes. But he did, after all,ask for it. Has shared things, because he’s trying to open up a little more,these days. Especially with Combeferre, who has a sharp mind and a soft heartworn on his sleeve.

Grantaire’s heart is an apple left in the sun, and histongue is a scalpel’s honed edge. He’s not sure how they meet, but he’s trying.

“No,” Grantaire says, inches his hand closer to brush theedge of his pinky against Combeferre’s. “You’re right, those are all thingsthat are… true. How the fuck you understand my family better than me is deeplyironic. I’d ask if you wanted to swap places, but wow, I would not inflict thaton you.”

He’s thought a thousand times he’d shove anyone into hisplace, like a drowning man flailing for a breath. It’s made him guilty andbitter and angry, but it’s hard to be any of those things around Combeferre.

“We’ve been friends for a while,” Combeferre points out,with remarkable gentleness and a dry edge that eases any sting of it. “As itturns out, I have a lot of feelings about seeing my friends upset. Familydynamics are always a touchy subject, but, uh-”

“A hot button issue?” Grantaire asks, drier still. SoCombeferre waxes as eloquent on familial dysfunction as on governmentalpolicies and renewable energy. It makes it easier to swallow, that Combeferrejust cares in general, and in the specific because they’re friends, rather thanthe opposite. It’s easier to be cared about on principle. Grantaire’s still notsure he has principles, when people are looking at him. “Do you want to pretendthis conversation never happened?”

And Combeferre’s eyes are still intent, a little apologetic,much too kind, but Grantaire is weirdly fond of it. Combeferre smiles again,though he clearly doesn’t expect either of them to actually dismiss this weirdwhole conversation, and taps his knuckles against Grantaire’s forearm, aglancing touch. “Would you rather hold some rats and we can trade fun rat factsinstead?”

“I,” Grantaire proclaims, relieved and grateful andawkwardly a little touched, “would love that. D’you know much about thesymbolism of mustelids in art?”

“No, but go on,” Combeferre says, and grins shamelessly atGrantaire. “No one else can wax pedantic quite so poetically, after all.”

Grantaire rolls his eyes heavily, but snorts in laughter allthe same.

[fanfic-scribbles]

Home Away From Home

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: You’re not sure who is stealing your clothes but you would like it to stop. Please and thank you.

Prompt: Written for @gabriel-monthly-challenge’s November dialogue prompt: “Hey, I’ve been looking for that! But…why is it here?” [And so tagging mods: @archangelgabriellives, @ttttrickster, @archangel-with-a-shotgun, @warlockwriter, @archangelsanonymous, and @revwinchester.]

Quick facts: Romance – Gabriel/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Fluff; ‘Sugar’ as term of endearment; angel nesting

Words: 1784

A/N: I think over the years I have read through every nesting fic I have found. I have a lot of weirdly specific tropes I really enjoy and this is one of them. Logically yeah angels probably aren’t like birds and their wings probably don’t have feathers and blah blah I don’t really care, I’m just gonna wrap myself up in this conceit like a cozy blanket. Pure self-indulgence, my friends; I am aaaaaall about it. I hope you can enjoy it too, ‘cause this is pretty much what it says on the tin. As for where this takes place in the canon timeline, it would probably be after an alternate S13 ending with no Michael!Dean and the AU!Hunters are settling in elsewhere. Because I am Lazy.

    You have a problem.

You, specifically. As in: only you. No one else has this problem. Not that it’s life-threatening or anything; it’s just…

Your clothes keep going missing.

Nothing that makes it really gross, thankfully, but things that do make it personal, and absolutely nothing that can be explained by a hungry dryer. All your socks are fine. All your favorite shirts, however– the ones that have survived enough hunts to become well-worn– have vanished. That one magical jacket you could wear comfortably in the spring but which also kept you warm in the winter– gone without a trace.

You’re officially fed up when your absolute favorite shirt, the one that’s ridiculously comfortable and the most flattering thing you have ever owned, goes missing.

“I swear I’ve never heard of a creature that eats clothes. You can look it up yourself if you don’t believe me.”

“I will. Also– stop laughing at me.”

Sam, chuckling, shakes his head but goes back to wiping down his gun. Jack, who’s sitting nearby and carefully polishing a knife, stops and frowns. “Could it be a…” He looks uncertainly from you to Sam. “…A ghost?”

“There are no ghosts here, Jack.” Sam smiles at him reassuringly. “This place is warded against just about everything.”

“Besides, I checked.”

Sam gives you a Look. “You checked? For a ghost?”

“I had to do something!” You put down your gun and rag. Any more polishing and you’ll probably put a new hole in it. “This isn’t natural.”

Sam scoffs. “Sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct one.”

“I thought of that, which is why I didn’t say anything for weeks,” you say. “But the whole point of a prank is to get a reaction and nobody has even alluded to it. So no, nobody took them as a joke.”

Sam’s face scrunches. “Okay. That is weird.”

“Right?” Puh-lease; living in the same space as Gabriel and Dean, how could you not first assume it was a joke?

“How would stealing your clothes be a joke?” Jack asks

“Who even knows with this crew,” you say. You can’t help but frown at the bittersweet recollection. “Dean and Gabriel used to love to play jokes. Especially Gabriel.”

There’s a bit of silence (and mental cursing of asshole demons on your part) until Sam clears his throat. “How is Gabriel? I haven’t seen him in a few days.”

More than that; it’s been at least a week since he left. “He took off to do something with Cas. I’m sure they’ll be home soon.”

Sam frowns again. “Cas is with Dean. They met up yesterday and went to check out a possible werewolf thing.”

There’s a bit of panic in you at that– Gabriel is gone and alone– but you shove it down. If that’s the case then it’s only been a day, and Gabriel needs his autonomy. No matter how much you wish you could roll him in a bunch of blankets and keep him close. “Well, he must be fine or Cas would have said something.”

“Right.” Sam clears his throat and goes back to cleaning his weapons. “Now that his grace is back in working order he’s probably just…spreading his wings.”

“Yeah! Yeah.” You throw yourself into that idea. That he hasn’t taken off. Or worse. “He’s used to a different standard. It’s probably weird for him to live underground.”

“Yes.”

“Exactly.”

Jack looks very confused but when your eyes glance over him he nods quickly in solidarity. You smile. Cas and Sam may be the Dads Prime, but the way he’s taken to Gabriel is cute. Well, sometimes family is three jaded hunters and two Heaven-averse angels.

“I think I’m going to go see if I can spruce up his room,” you say and start picking up your things. “Maybe if I clean it up, make it smell nice, put a picture or something…maybe it can feel more like a home.” And less like a cell, you think but don’t add.

Sam looks like he wants to say something, but he just smiles awkwardly and says, “Good luck.”

  Apparently you don’t need it. You thought Sam’s well wishes were warranted– whenever you’ve seen glimpses of Gabriel’s room it’s always looked like utter chaos. Standing in it now with cleaning supplies and some knick-knacks, it’s actually…nice. Chaos maybe, but controlled chaos. The bed in the room is not the original one, but it’s also not opulent enough to hold your attention.

What does catch your eye is the giant pile of fabric on the floor that, from your little glimpses, you had assumed to be a mess of discarded laundry. It’s not. The shape of it is purposeful; sort of square, sort of rounded, and formed by a ton of blankets as well as clothi–

“Hey, I’ve been looking for that!” You fall to your knees on the soft pile and grab your favorite jacket. “But…why is it here?”

And that’s not the only thing stashed in the pile. You find all of your missing shirts, a tan trench coat that looks exactly like what Cas wears day in and day out, and a few other shirts that you can trace back to Jack, Sam, and even Dean.

“Seriously, what the fuck?” But you’re not angry so much as confused. Okay, a little annoyed, but still mostly confused and trying not to judge. If Gabriel was trying to pull a joke, it would’ve come to fruition by now. So why does he have your stuff, and why does it look like he intends to keep it?

“Gabriel,” you say evenly. “When you have a minute, come back to the bunker. We need to talk.”

You ball up the trash bag, dust a little, and light some candles to make the place smell a little less like an underground hideaway. On the dresser, you place a photo of Sam, Dean, Jack, and Cas that you took. Then you sit on the foot of the bed, facing the blanket pile, and wait.

“Please tell me nobody triggered another apocaly–” Gabriel, now next to you, stops so suddenly there might as well be a record scratch. The fact that there isn’t one is telling. “What are you doing in my room?”

“Um, you said I could ‘come by anytime,’” you say, finger-quotes and all. “‘Mi casa es su casa’ and everything. You even amended it to ‘mi habitación.’ Remember?”

“Oh.” Gabriel deflates and looks back and forth between you and the pile. “I really don’t want to have this conversation. Can we not have this conversation?”

You shrug. “I can’t stop you if you’d rather leave, but you should know that if we don’t have this conversation then I am always going to be wondering why you’re sleeping with one of Dean’s shirts.”

Gabriel grimaces. A confirmation if ever you’ve seen one. “So you do sleep in it!” You look from the floor to the bed. The bed which feels very nice. “Why are you sleeping in a pile of clothes instead of your bed?”

Gabriel looks offended. “It’s not just a pile of clothes.”

“Sorry; pile of clothes and blankets.”

He rolls his eyes. “It’s a nest.”

You look down at the…nest. You’re sure you don’t know exactly what that means to him, but you can guess at it. “Oh. Is it an…angel thing?”

“Yes,” he says sourly, head ducked down so you can’t see his face. “In heaven you twine grace with your siblings. On earth you have to…adjust. Slightly.”

You take a moment to pick that apart. Siblings; being close. “It’s about family then?” you ask. He nods. He’s lifted his head again but he looks so miserable, you try to make a joke. “Does that make me your favorite then?”

He snaps his head up and looks quizzical. Yeah, a joke at your expense almost always does the trick. You gesture at the sub-collection of your closet. “You have more of my stuff than anyone else.”

Gabriel actually smiles a little at that. “You’ve always been my favorite.”

“Really?” You clamp your hands on your mouth– that was embarrassingly eager. But Gabriel doesn’t seem to care. He’s staring at you, expression calculatingly inscrutable. And yet…

You clear your throat. “So…those are my favorite clothes. What are the chances of me getting them back?”

Gabriel smiles mischievously and folds his arms up to tap his finger to his lip, like he’s thinking very hard about it. You should be worried by that, but it’s such a rare sight these days you’re too happy about it to worry about what’s going to come out of his mouth next. “I’ll think about giving them back.” Gabriel is suddenly lying in the nest like he’s waiting for you to paint him like one of your French girls. He pats the space next to him. “If you help break in the rest of it.”

It’s not quite how you fantasized about him inviting you into bed (which is impressive, considering all the various scenarios you’ve cooked up), but hell, you’ll take it. To offset how you scramble in so enthusiastically you might as well have “Pathetic” tattooed on your forehead, you joke, “Is this a scent thing? Should I roll around?”

“It’s really more of a ‘presence’ thing,” he says as you lie next to him. “But I wouldn’t mind it.”

“What if I roll onto you?”

He stares at you. You cringe. Shit. Touch is, well, a touchy subject ever since Asshole-modeus. “Sorry, I…I guess I shouldn’t say that.”

“Not unless you mean it.”

Hope surges in you. He looks serious, and you try to match it. “What if I do?”

He studies you, like he’s not sure if you're serious. And here you thought you were always pathetically obvious. “Really?” he asks, frowning in a way that makes you want to kiss those creases right off his face. How could he ever doubt?

“I always have been. Just…” You shrug. “What does a hunter, some random human, have to offer someone who dates demigods and can create perfection whole cloth–”

He kisses you. Firmly, and he doesn’t let up until he steals the breath right out of you. When he pulls back you’re left panting but your eyes trail to wet lips curling into a smirk. “Sugar,” he drawls. “I may not like my dad that much but even I have to admit…” His fingers trail up your temple and down behind your ear. “When it comes to workmanship, he’s second to none.”

You duck to hide your ridiculous smile. “Um…” You clear your throat. “This nest is actually really comfortable.”

“It is now,” he says and pulls you in.

[inkedcinders]

Coming Out

Coming Out

           It was a fairly normal day, slightly overcast but hot, not that it mattered when you spent all of your time indoors as answer was want to do. How else was he supposed to keep his pasty complexion? Plus, he’d finally gotten air conditioning, courtesy of a friendly donation of the woman sitting next to him.

           Not that he had a choice in the matter, so it was more of a hostile donation.

           Sitting next to him on the couch was his assuredly not-a-girlfriend, sigma, known to the rest of the world as Natalie Abela, daughter to the CEO of AbelaTech. She was insanely wealthy by extension of her father, and so incredibly smart she finished high school two years early and went straight into university. Despite this, she was still so under stimulated intellectually that she’d taken on part-time hacking gigs.

           She hadn’t been terribly well-known at the time, keeping herself to small jobs that she could do from home or a library, trying to keep a low, anonymous profile. It wasn’t like she needed the money, after all, or the fame. It was just a way to pass the time. It most likely would have continued that way if he hadn’t tried to access AbelaTech’s servers through a backdoor route that turned out to be her personal files, and she’d counter-hacked him in response.

           His roommate Buster still bore the mental scars of what she’d uploaded to answers’ ‘ware.

           Answer wasn’t entirely certain how they’d gone from antagonists to occasionally working together, but it was how she started doing the bigger jobs, going on-site and sometimes even shooting things.

           And she was still getting perfect A’s in school.

           From there they’d become friends, with her foisting a cat on him that he’d named Tubby-tubb-tubbs to her annoyance, but conceded was better than “Cat”. The orange fuzzball was a useless mouser but loved to cuddle, and she paid for her upkeep, and he was still a little afraid of sigma through proxy of her father, so he’d just let it slide.

           He was even less certain how they’d become lovers. It just sort of... happened. And then they’d said it was a bad idea, and should never do it again. And then it happened again not long after. A few more rounds of this and they’d given up and just accepted it was happening.

           She was quite insistent that they were not going out, which hurt a little bit for reasons he didn’t want to think about.

           21 now, she’d completed her bachelors and moved on to a masters degree, still being annoyingly vague about what she was majoring in, despite a noncommittal hand wave and “just computer stuff”. She kept him weirdly distant from her life.

           It kind of made him feel like a secret mistress or something.

           She was working on schoolwork, he was doing the boring part of shadow running: sorting through his messages and paperwork. Sometimes sigma did it for him for fun because she was insane, but today it was his burden to bear.

           Sorting through a few messages on a job call, he made a derisive noise at the contents of one, emphatic enough to get the tiny hacker to look up at him.

           “What is it?” She asked.

           “Ah, just some dumb fuck who’s pitching a fit because there’s a known technomancer in a job call,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

           Her head tilted slightly, assessing. “You’re okay with technomancers?”

           He gave her a look. “Why wouldn’t I be? They’re just people, right? You have to be stupid to get your panties in a twist over a dude who can hack with his brain. Or people with magic. Or the metahuman variants. Lotta stupid people.”

           “There are a few,” she remarked dryly. “I thought a lot of hackers didn’t like them because they were gonna put them out of a job, or whatever.”

           He gave a short laugh. “There aren’t that many technomancers, and not all of them want to be hackers, either,” he said. “And just because they’re technomancers doesn’t mean they’re gonna be good at it. Not many technomancers are better than me.”

           “I’m better than you,” she said mildly, turning back to her work.

           “Well, yeah, you’re better than me, but...” he trailed off as his brain caught up with what she said. He shot her a look, but she was studiously working on her school assignment, not looking at him, and it was difficult to determine what she was thinking. Did she just..?

           That wasn’t necessarily an admission to being a technomancer. It was a pretty ambiguous statement. She might just have been throwing shade by saying the girl six years his junior was better at him than hacking and so didn’t believe his claim that most technomancers weren’t at his level.

           Then again, sigma was a master at being coy. She was naturally rather shy, despite all appearances, and she lived under such scrutiny that she had gotten very good at ambiguous statements that could be taken multiple ways and spun in the way that caused the least amount of fuss. She could be testing the waters, see how he recreated to the idea.

           Because despite everything, technomancers were still under threat, even if things were better than at emergence.

           Answer decided it was best not to say anything. It was a touchy subject for a lot of people, especially technomancers, and if she wasn’t feeling safe enough to just out and say it, he didn’t want to press the issue. If the situation blew up, he’d deal with it then.

           Maybe not the best policy, but these weren’t the decisions he was really made for.

           Sigma did some hand gestures to deal with whatever she was doing in AR, then said, “To the question you’re dying to ask, the answer is yes, I am.”

           Well, that was refreshingly direct. Looking closer, he noticed that her tan skin had gone pale, body tense, hands slightly trembling. Not as unaffected as she was pretending to be.

           “You should really keep quiet about that,” he said finally. “Technomancers just... disappear sometimes, and I don’t think even your father’s money and influence will help with that.”

           She shot him an annoyed look. “Answer, I have been a technomancer for the last five years, I know a thing or two about “keeping quiet”!”

           “Five years?” He repeated, incredulous, and then suddenly so many strange things that had happened over the years clicked into place.

           Then he couldn’t help grinning. “Wait, if you’re saying this now, it means you trust me, don’t you?” He couldn’t help but feel a little bit excited by it; she was actually allowing him a little closer.

           She didn’t quite look at him, mumbling, “Maybe a little... I have been letting you have sex with me for the last three years...”

           He made a derisive noise. “Sex has nothing to do with trust.”

           “That explains so much about you.”

[sunnysynthsunshine]

7th Comedy Monologue

“Hey my Cheese bags I’m back from my adventure in 1985”

“No joke if you look it up

the timeframe of days for each month this year

are the exact same as they were in 1985”

So all this “80s revival stuff” with Duran Duran and Depeche Mode touring, Petshop Boys releasing a new album, a new generation falling in love with Queen and She-Ra while the world is being messed up by a tyrannical iron lady and a talking tangerine makes a bit of sense doesn’t it?”

Even though I was born in the 2000s I’ve always loved most of the media from that decade, the gothic and upbeat synthesizer music,the cheaply made but entertaining cartoons,the video games,the basic but stylish fashion,the musicals and John Hughes films,the mix of music genres in the charts,Goth,Synth,Punk,2 Tone,Post-Punk,New Wave,Glam Metal,Alternative,Shoegaze,Hip Hop,Electronica

I was watching Saved by the Bell  before Netflix even existed

Then again a lot of the shows from then were also being revived back in my day

Dal Winton was presenting game shows, Pingu replaced the scary walrus monsters with rap music, I watched or had VHS tapes of the Muppet show, Noddy, Postman Pat and Scooby Doo.

Scooby-Doo! Now that’s a show that never gets old because it never changes, anyone regardless of what generation they’re from would be able to tell you

“Oh Yeah, I remember Scooby Doo”

When you think about it Scooby Doo is quite philosophical

we are all just a gang going on our own adventures

that and the first few live-action movies are modern masterpieces

I was just browsing Twitter or Tumblr or literally anywhere on the internet only to see that screencaps were taken from the live action Scooby Doo interviews had turned into memes

*ahem*

Well,I was auditioning for the role of Velma, I could sense from the way Matthew Lillard just fully encompassed the role of Shaggy, it felt like he was Shaggy, he was our saviour as he felt his spiritual energy increase, that’s when I knew we were working with a legend

Something like that although Matthew isn’t too fond of the memes himself specifically the ones where his spiritual connections are described more like demon possession rituals

*ahem*

“Being Shaggy has led me down a path of death and destruction. I’ve killed many mortals in hope of replicating 1% of Shaggy’s being, by the end of filming I hope to become one with him”

In which Matthew responded with

*deadpan voice*

This is wrong

I mean I might also have inspirations where I feel like I can philosophically connect with them, in their performing style and personality but that’s where I draw the line

Personality?  That’s a tricky subject

You could say some people have consistent personalities

People said Freddie Mercury and David Bowie were party animals who were incredible on stage with their charisma, creativity and charm but other sources have said they were relaxed, laid back people who were shy when being interviewed.

That could just be the contrast between their onstage and offstage personas but not all of us have that, even if we are all  just actors in a play, hoping each day goes the right way

Some of us are punk, even if we don’t explicitly say that we are, or have the stereotypical style associated with it,a lot of us just try to be ourselves,some of us can enjoy reality shows and horror movies at the same time,some of us can enjoy One Direction and Gorillaz,some of us can love fashion but also love memes, Theatre, and 1980s aesthetics

I’d say I’m the same but sometimes my personality is all over the place

I can go from being cheerful, relaxed and happy to being dazed and clumsy or cynical or entranced and hyper-fixated to Pessimistic and Cold to Quiet and Timid to Mellow and Loud   what personality traits you associate with me, however, is up to your own conclusion

call me any internet subculture stereotype and I’d be able to tell you about how I either, unfortunately, was the stereotype or I hung around people who were those stereotypes

if you said I was someone who watched Cbbc and citv you’d be right

if you said I was a classic rock enthusiast years ago and now you’d be right

if you said I used to be a cringy anime enthusiast  you’d be right

if you said I was one of those theatre kids who watched Disney sitcoms you’d be right

if you said I was one of those meme posters who referenced movies like Shrek and bee movie you’d be right

Another thing punks did was and sometimes still do was creating fanzines, magazines related to their favourite band or tv show or their own opinions on what’s going in the world, nowadays you could say social media has replaced that, but publications like the Daily Mirror, The Sun and TMZ still have a presence on there,I’d say fanzines should have a revival.

The BAFTA’s also happened recently and I wasn’t impressed, then again when are awards shows anything other than beauty pageants for films anyway?

Some films deserved their awards, but some films barely got a mention, Paddington 2 wasn’t included in there or in any of the other film awards this year and Stan and Ollie got nothing…

A darn shame because that film was so well made, it felt authentic, while Stan and Ollie also have a bit of a universal following, there are still some people who probably don’t know who they are!

Before Walliams and Lucas, Before the Two Ronnies, Before Richie and Eddie

There was…Laurel and Hardy

Two moustached blokes, who in the 20s and 50s would just try to delight audiences the best way they could, through slapstick and laughter, without them, most of the world’s double acts wouldn’t exist and even Spongebob wouldn’t exist

Yep, you heard me right, all those misadventures Spongebob and Patrick would have, they were loosely based on the adventures of Laurel and Hardy, except instead of it being about a tall British man and a fat American it was about an anthropomorphic sponge and a dumb but caring starfish.

Speaking of Spongebob, there was some sad news involving Spongebob not too long ago

The creator of Spongebob, Stephen Hillenburg…had passed away from ALS

I know, it’s awful,stupid motor neuron diseases and stupid Adam Levine too,for those who don’t know there was an episode of Spongebob called Band Geeks where they ended the episode with the cast playing a song called Sweet Victory over a Superbowl type of event, for the actual super bowl Spongebob fans around the world petitioned for that song to be played in tribute for Stephen,however we got Adam Levine singing a different song instead….what a letdown

If it wasn’t for SpongeBob I and some of the rest of the new generation, wouldn’t know half the old music or old films we know now.

To let down millions of fans like that makes me sick

Honestly, I was a bit sick a few weeks ago, I’ve been sick before and hospitalized twice but this particular moment of sickness was odd

It was like any other night, I was trying to get some sleep and lucid dream, but then it happened, the shivers, the shakes the trembling aches,

Out of nowhere, I felt like an ice-cube stuck in a microwave, It was too cold but it was too warm, I eventually got to sleep but when I got up the next morning I felt sick again, sorry for disclosing those details but it was like the exorcist…

Usually, when I’m sick watching documentaries, Kitchen Nightmares or 90s films weirdly cheers me up

Speaking of films, Rocketman the Elton John movie is out and it actually looks good

It’s being directed by the guy who was the replacement director for Bo Rhap and if it ends up being brilliant I won’t be surprised, the trailer gave off Velvet Goldmine vibes, the style of composed cinematography and I’m sounding like Film Twitter, Isle of Dogs was a good film…oh wait it wasn’t acknowledged much by the award shows either.

Another amazing film I recently watched was Rocky Horror…I know I’ve mentioned it before but that was when I only knew the sequel and some of the soundtrack,

It was amazing, it was brilliant, it was fantastic, it was out of this world,

ah! Rocky Horror was splendid

I definitely now understand why it’s still going strong to this day

It’s that hybrid of rock and roll, optimistic nihilism and soft aesthetics

That just works for me, another thing I’ve remembered was that Richard O’ Brien played the dad in Phineas and Ferb, well that explains that part of me liked that cartoon for the music and some of the characters but other characters did my head in like that Isabel character

“Hey, Phineas what ya dooing?”

“How about you let me finish my invention and you mind your own business”

Oof that’s too harsh…but considering aspects of the marvel Phineas and Ferb crossover were surprisingly a bit sexist at times outdated for the show that is usually quite progressive in its representation and characters…it’s probably accurate

Another person who hasn’t changed but is also often harsh, Piers Morgan, a little tweety bird told me he had a mysterious illness, good riddance I’d say, he’s the new Noel Edmonds, the presenter who used to be ok but now is unbearable…because he never shuts up

Thankfully though he’s “taking a break” from GMB that will rest our eardrums

Russell Brand has also been in the tabloids again, even though he’s more focused on his Buddhist spiritual recovery enlightening, looking back he wasn’t as bad as people described him, yeah at times he was a bit too over the top,but he was and is quite an ok bloke, but I’d say temporarily banning tickling is a bit of a stretch,

when you think about the number of people who disrespect our literal and figurative personal space on a daily basis, it kinda makes a bit of sense,

whether your sensory sensitive or not, I’m sure you hate it, when people are too touchy at times

although years ago I would’ve been a bit of an ignorant hypocrite about that

Hating it when crowds of kids would chase me like how the paparazzi chase their next gossip target, yet often annoyingly running up to people to talk to or entertain them.

I really need to learn to enjoy loneliness more because I get some of my best ideas when alone, but emotionally I feel a lot better when around others, a bit of an Ambivert really,

I’m sorry I can be a bit all over the place, I’m trying to make my energy more manageable

as that lucid dreaming thing has been misused at times,

I shouldn’t let myself be controlled…

by anyone or anything..no overthinking, no overworking,

treat the world as your stage, start your first act, motivated and ready, take your recharging interval breaks and then move on for your second act

fancy that me an ex-drama student making that metaphor when my current course  involves digitally drawing art, editing audio and sitting at a computer for most of the day

But then again just because someone shows good charisma that doesn’t always mean their a good person.

Ted Bundy, one of America's most notorious serial killers used charisma and charm in his court cases, and with the amount of fangirls giving him fanmail it was like the Beatles fandom but for people with Stockholm syndrome,and now with Netflix’s documentary and Troy from High School Musical in an upcoming film about him, that seems to be repeating itself…

*Alien voice* Ted Bundy the 1960s called they want your fangirls back!

One show I know you probably haven’t heard of is The Boondocks, a south park esque cartoon with an anime esque art style, referencing the social commentary of African American culture and media, celebrating some aspects while critiquing others, through the lenses of a socialist boy named Huey Freeman, his rapper wannabe brother Riley and their activist grandad Robert.

This show was quite revolutionary,it referenced the issue of each episode quite well, even though it only lasted 4 seasons, however, because the show is quite American, apart from the animation which is done in Korea,The Boondocks is not well known in the UK, which is a shame because it is a really good show that still holds up…however, it does fall under one mousetrap that most other adult cartoons fall into….

Because of the references to violence,innuendo and other dark subject matter sometimes referenced in a satirically humorous way,some audiences  would just watch the show because it’s offensive thinking that the show was made just to be offensive..instead of what the show was actually made for..which was to give social commentary on the issues relevant to African American communities in America.

I had watched this show years ago, it only just came back on my radar, because the creator Aaron McGruder, who based the show off his webcomic of the same name, had recently made a new issue.

There’s a difference between being satirical and being offensive

Your either making fun of something bad that a system or people are doing to make people aware of how stupid and sad the world can be at times,subjectively making fun of a stereotype, or your an arse who thinks they’re a comedian when they waste their time on social media, thinking they’re amazing and funny when they’re holding up the line at Mcdonald’s and the only people laughing at their jokes are gammon and people who found Bernard Manning funny

“Oh Wait”

I know sometimes I have unpopular opinions such as how my views of someone dip depending on their views of Kanye West

and sometimes I can be a bit snarky, and I hate and love stuff in equal amounts, but we need a bit of that don’t we, if we bottle it all up we explode like volcanos, but if we overshare too much, we crash like out of control cars

It’s all about moderation, salt is a tasty condiment but eat too much of it and your arteries will get clogged,

A few days back it was the day Mark Ashton passed away, for those who don’t know,he was an LGBT activist in the 80s,he volunteered with organizations such as the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament,he and the other activists helped to support the miners during the miner strike, creating the LGSM Alliance,Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners,there was a film made about them too, called Pride,but what some people don’t know is that….Mark Ashton was Northern Irish…he was one of us..he was the Marsha P Johnson of our time..if we were a bit like Mark Ashton this country would be a slightly more accepting place, why don’t we give love!

Let’s move on, plant more flowers in our garden..I know I sound like a hippie but it’s true, our Celtic Summerland is being used as a cesspool for Nuclear Waste

Oi! use your own bins, not the place we’re living in, pick up your rubbish and clean up your own mess…

The 80s were telling us something with all those protect and survive adverts, yes some of us were prepared as the older generation made us alert, others couldn’t recognize that a lot of innocent people were getting hurt.

When we say we want a 1980s comeback we want the music, clothes, games and  films,

but Nope

while we have some of that the 1980s revival we get is the one that involves Nuclear Danger and the ghost of Margaret Thatcher

All these TV and Film revivals, some are cool others are just unnecessary  Do we really need a Snow White sequel? No, we don’t but we did get one even if it was unofficial

Back in 2007 a French animation company made a sequel to Snow White which was also a bit like Shrek in how it satirised the fairy tale tropes, how Prince Charming feels like he is objectified while he ends up doing the same thing to the female characters, quite a tosser but that’s the point of the parody to point out the flaws with fairy tale logic, and to put the likes of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella in more realistic scenarios.

…it’s strange, weird but brilliant too

The English dub had quite a few familiar faces doing the character voices

Stephen Fry as the narrator, Morwenna Banks, Simon Greenall and another British actor

Rik someone...

Ah! I remember his name now, he was in many successful sitcoms in the 80s and 90s,he was a legend, he knew how to keep people laughing, whether they were children, adults, teenagers,

in television, theatre, film or music

quite an eclectic range of talent

Although

I’m a new fan, I might adore his work, but I had just learnt his name 2 years ago, whereas, with other fans, they have created their own work, such as Charlie Brooker and Simon Pegg… some were able to meet him…lucky...

Some encounters were quite interesting, I had heard someone’s nan got to meet him in the 90s but she got his name wrong so she ended up saying

“‘oh hello can I have your autograph please Mr mayo?’

Well that happened, she probably still got that autograph,...

And somewhere up there, Rik Mayall is thinking of us, he, Stephen Hillenburg and David Bowie are probably chatting away

Let’s make the lord of misrule proud

[laschatzi]

Smiles

A little belated birthday gift for @effulgentcolors, as our conversations about wishing for more support for Killian have kinda sparked this.

title: Smiles

summary: a little 3x20 canon divergence where Killian is not left out at the hospital but is unexpectedly included

rating: G

word count: ~1,600

also on: ff.net and ao3

Never thought I'd see one of those.

It's called a baby.

No, Swan. A smile.

A smile.

Nothing makes Killian Jones's heart soar more than seeing Emma Swan smile, indeed a very rare occasion, so he should really be happy, and he is. Yet...

His own lips pull briefly into a smile, but it's one of those melancholic ones that are dominated by the sadness in his eyes.

It's a really heartwarming scenario, and it does warm his heart, to see this family united that has gone through so much, lost each other so many times. But in the end, they always find each other... save each other. It's almost like the strong bond they share ties them together in a way that makes it physically impossible for any force, magical or not, to separate them permanently. These people... deep down in his heavy, heavy heart he knows he cares about them, all of them, even if he keeps telling himself that what bound him to this latest quest was just a temporary alliance. Of course it was not. And Emma Swan... he loves her, there's no use in denying that, he's even said it out loud. He hasn't given up hope yet that she might change her mind about going back to New York with her lad, even if the odds don't seem to be in his favor. Even though she's very adamant about it being the best choice, he has a feeling that she might be trying a little too hard to convince herself that it's for the best... or is that just wishful thinking on his part?

Killian exhales slowly and lets his gaze sweep almost longingly over the family huddled together in the hospital room once more before he takes a step back, suddenly feeling a mighty urge to leave this place. Because watching something from afar you long for but most likely never will be a part of... it's not something you want to endure for long. Emma offered him once that he could be a part of something, and he tried, he really tried his best to be exactly that, but somehow he never really seemed to fit in. And when you're always the outsider, only reluctantly tolerated to be around, but never really valued or trusted, it weighs on you, it hurts... especially when you know that you probably deserve that cool shoulder mostly shown to you.

He turns around and heads for the stairs, not really trusting that suspicious thing they call elevator, when he hears Emma's voice, surprisingly enough, calling him. “Hook! Where are you going?”

He stops mid move, and it takes him a few moments to collect himself and plaster a fake smile on his face before he turns around, mask firmly in place, and raises his eyebrows in question without a reply, but she obviously doesn't expect one.

She takes two steps in his direction, fists buried deep in the pockets of her jeans, and asks, “Don't you want to say hello to my brother?”

Now that's a little unexpected. “Oh, I don't know...” He scratches behind his ear and tilts his head in a doubtful way. “I wouldn't want to... intrude.”

“Intrude?” she echoes, and the incredulity in her voice elates him to stupid amounts. “You helped saving him, remember?”

He averts his eyes and shakes his head. “Not really, Swan. I'd only made it worse. Regina ended it,” he points out. “Hardly anything I could contribute.”

Emma licks her lips, suddenly the tiniest bit nervous, much to his surprise. “Yeah, about that...” She draws a deep breath. “Listen, I owe you an apology.” Killian's ears prick up, and his eyebrows raise higher than usual. A smile and an apology from Emma Swan? Today must be a really extraordinary day for sure. “What I said the other day about you,” she continues and, after a little hesitation, adds, “about your hand... I didn't mean it like that.” She shakes her head vigorously as if trying to affirm her statement. “I was scared and angry because of the secret you'd kept, and I... I... just wanted to lash out,” she admits, looking him firmly in the eyes. “Not like that's an excuse, but...”

He raises his hand almost impatiently. Wonderful. If nothing else, his bloody deficiency always makes for a nice conversation, doesn't it? “It's okay, Swan. I understand,” he replies soberly and tilts his head. “You were upset and worried for your family.”

“Yeah, well.” Of fucking course he understands. Sometimes she wishes he wasn't so goddamn understanding all the time; that would make a lot of things a lot easier, for example keeping her distance. “That doesn't make it any better,” she states a little more curtly than intended. “I didn't want to hurt you, Hook,” she finally adds firmly and sincerely.

He looks away for a moment, his jaw clenching, and he wishes, he so wishes, she'd stop calling him that and say his name, his real name. Just once. Then he presses his lips into another smile, not exactly fake, but maybe a little forced. “Rest assured, it takes a little more than a barb to do that.”

“Still–”

Emma is cut off when David rushes out of the hospital room. “Where is he?” he asks, his eyes scanning the corridor, and when he spots Killian, he exclaims, “Hook!” Weirdly enough, somehow it doesn't bother him when Emma's father calls him that, he can't even tell why that is... maybe the sort of grumpy camaraderie that has slowly developed between them. The prince cocks his head in the direction of the room. “Come and meet our son.” When he sees that Killian seems to hesitate, unsure what to do, he reaches out with his arm in an inviting gesture and smiles. “Please.”

Killian still feels a little awkward, but he follows. David's gesture and demeanor warms his heart, because he knows it's genuine: if he has learned one thing about him, then it's that this man has not one duplicitous bone in his body, and he can't fake a smile for the life of him. He still feels like he's somehow intruding, but Henry and Snow are smiling at him in a welcoming way, and so he tentatively steps nearer, smiling a little insecurely at the tiny sleeping infant.

“He's gorgeous, Milady,” he finally says. “Congratulations, to you both.”

“Thank you,” the princess bandit replies and adds pointedly, “for everything you did.”

He sways his head from side to side and averts his eyes, hand coming up to fidget and rub behind his ear. “Well, I didn't really–”

“You risked your life,” David cuts him off and points out, “again.” The prince looks down at his shoes for a moment and studies the dirt from Zelena's barn still covering their tips, before he looks back at Killian and adds in a sincerely regretful tone, “When we... took the first opportunity to mistrust you.”

Killian would never have expected this. He almost squirms, raises his hand and waves him off a little awkwardly. “Really, mate, it's alright. I–“

“No, it's not,” David interrupts, his pale blue eyes fixed firmly on Killian's, “and we're sorry.” Snow looks at him sincerely, too, and nods, affirming that her husband speaks for her, as well. Killian doesn't want to admit it, but the appreciation from the couple means a lot to him. Just like, a few hours ago, it meant a lot to him how Emma's father quickly dropped the initial mistrust and defended him against his daughter's ire, Zelena backed you into a corner, you did the best you could. Maybe he's wrong, and they don't just barely tolerate him.

There's nothing more to say than to honor their obviously sincere apologies, so he finally caves and nods once, almost solemnly. “Accepted.”

When David smiles again he can't help but smile back shyly, before he deliberately changes the subject. “So, the little Prince... does he have a name?” he inquires, briefly remembering the bickering of Emma's parents about that obviously touchy subject.

“We haven't decided yet,” the princess bandit says quickly, “but you'll hear it tomorrow at the naming ceremony.”

Killian cocks an eyebrow. “The naming ceremony?” he echoes.

“Sure.” Snow throws him an amused glance, and he could have sworn she almost winked. “You... do know what that is, don't you?”

He chuckles a little awkwardly. “Of course. I'm just surprised that my presence... is requested.”

“It's not only requested,” David points out. “It would be a great pleasure to see you there.”

Briefly, his hand comes up to scratch behind his ear, then he tilts his head in that minute almost-bow. “Gladly.” Bloody hell, it's really time for him to leave now; the scratchy sound of his voice embarrasses him even more than all that unexpected and undeserved praise.

David returns his nod with a satisfied smile, and Killian's gaze drifts off for a moment, an incredulous smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth. When he focuses again and turns around to leave, he notices that Emma's eyes are resting on him; when their gazes meet, she briefly smiles at him and nods.

“See you tomorrow.”

She sounds like she's not displeased about that, and this time her smile makes him truly happy – stupid maybe, because nothing has really changed. She still hasn't said his name, and she's still planning to leave for New York soon... but who knows? He has a feeling that she almost said his name.

When he leaves the hospital, he smiles, too.

[thelankyrandman-blog]

Letter About Nick Robinson

First things first before the letter, this is a very, very touchy subject. I am not trying to offend anyone, I’m just trying to vent and gather my own thoughts.

-----

So this weekend slipped by me I guess… but it was a weird one.

I am an avid fan of Polygon and watch an astounding amount of their content in my free time. I kept noticing over the past few days that they weren’t posing videos to their YouTube channel. ‘Weird fluke,’ I thought, ‘maybe there is some convention I’m forgetting about.’ So tonight, I got home late from work, and while making some food I did my usual search for Polygon.

Along with the channel itself which usually shows up, there was a video entitled “What The Hell Happened To Polygon’s Nick Robinson?” Curious, I clicked it. Within the first few seconds I heard that there had been some odd allegations thrown out against Nick. I stopped the video before the YouTuber went into details; I wanted clarification from a source I trust so I googled Nick Robinson and… well, it was confirmed.

Nick, one of my favorite content creators has some pretty nasty sexual harassment claims against him. I don’t want to get hung up on whether they are true or not, I don’t need ‘receipts,’ because that’s not my business. And, people don’t often throw out sexual harassment claims for no reason… It has happened, but not often…

I’m pretty speechless, and I guess I’m writing this to vent? Putting words on the page sometimes helps me find emotions. I’ve been trying to find as much information as I can through my own google searching (I have not questioned anyone and nor should you, because that would be incredibly inappropriate).

It’s 3:21am, and my mind is racing. Trying to gather my thoughts and emotions, the first ones that come to mind are anger, disappointment and sadness. I’m angry that someone who I love, absolutely love, could have done stuff like this. Someone who has made me laugh on a daily basis for a very long time. Someone who has been there when others weren’t. Someone who I look up to. Maybe this sounds a bit dramatic, but I feel deeply hurt and lied to.

Finding Car-Boys was like finding a new type of comedy entirely. It was like Nick and Griffin had created a new genre of Lets-Play. They weren’t just playing games like every other creator seems to do, they were doing something new, something fresh, something fucking funny. I can basically quote entire episodes of Car-Boys at this point, and “this changes everything,” has slithered its way into my lexicon along with a plethora of their silly phrases. Busto’s story arc and the evil deep within of Busto 2.0 will stick with me forever.

Nick and Griffin changed my life in a way. Again, maybe a bit dramatic, but I found them in a difficult time and their unique brand of comedy became a coping mechanism for my depressive and anxious symptoms. They were a distraction from my perpetually changing medications and I cherished that time watching their content. It was a step away from my own self destructive isolation and social anxiety. It was happiness, even if it was just for a few hours.

I am still processing my feelings on the matter, but I want to get a few things straight. I think that what Nick has done, or allegedly done, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, is wrong. Hitting on someone is okay, but if they ask you to stop or show that they are uncomfortable, you have to stop. Continuing this behavior is wrong. Never get even remotely aggressive when in potentially romantic situations. And I get it, dating, trying to date, flirting or what have you, can be difficult. I’m pretty bad at all of the above, but at no point do you, I or Nick have the justification to become aggressive or harass the person of interest. Also, harassing someone is still harassing someone no matter what you may be able to convince yourself of otherwise. If it feels sketchy, it is.

In Nick’s apology he talked about power dynamics being a significant portion of the equation, and while they are, they are not the crux of the problem here. They are a minor side note that, yes, should be talked about, but no, are not the guiding issue. What he did was wrong regardless of his celebrity standing.

So what now? Where does this leave us? Well, in Nick’s apology he said that he was going to take a break from everything and come back with improved behavior and a more conducted manner. As a longtime fan of his, my support is dependent on his actions from here on out. This was not good, and he better fucking know every reason why, and every which way he can write his wrongs. I believe in second chances, but any more than that, and you’re pushing it. So all I will say for now is: we’ll see what the future holds.

Finally, I want to step away from the drama and just share a sentimental goodbye to the era we just witnessed end in a bit of a fiery train wreck. Nick, Griffin and all the boys and girls at Polygon: thank you. Thank you for the hours and hours of wheezing laughs, bonkers content and weirdly sentimental series finales. I will still be a fan of Polygon, but things are changing, and I want to take a moment to remember what we had. Thank you for Car-Boys. Thank you for Touch the Skyrim. Thank you for Awful Squad. Thank you for Cool Games Inc. Thank you.

Nick, I’m wishing you the best, and I’m still with you if you can show me why I should be. There is a long road ahead of you here if you decide to stick with it. Understand the wrongs you’ve done, and work towards making amends and insuring that this never, and I fucking mean NEVER, happens again.

—Andrew

LankyRandman

[thatu]

I remember back when I started dating, I had decided I wouldn’t post much about my bf here cause when we broke up it’d be awful and that’s kind of why I don’t tag these in my personal tag, but in the end, as we’ve been together for about seven months now it becomes more and more complicated not to share some stuff as so much of our life kinda happens together. So please, let me share a bit of what’s happening with you guys cause this week has been kind of really eventful and I need to talk about it:

Ok, so, I haven’t talked about this before but my bf is like really rich? It has come to the point where it often feels like I’m in one of those brigdet jones-esque books because I’m an older woman dating a much younger man who is hot, rich and tallented ( have i mentioned he plays the fucking cello and the piano? who does that? we don’t have marching bands in Brazil, you have to be formally educated to play these things here). Anyway, the rich part will be relevant later, the point is that his family has a lot of money and I can’t explain it very well but like, for instance, his parents wear SOFT ROBES around the house, like the ones they have in spas?

Not only that but the other day I opened his closet (his walk-in closet btw) and he had shuttlecocks in there and when I walked out and said “I have so many questions” he shrugged and said “I used to play badminton” I just went “of course you did, was that after or before you played golf?” and he laughed and said AS TO PROVE THAT HE IS NOT RICH that he used to play “in the court at his place”.

Cause nothing says proletary like a home court for badminton.

ANYWAY, the the thing is that he’s been going through sort of a crisis at the moment, cause he’s not completely happy with major so he’s thinking of changing it and he’s very confused cause he has no idea what he wants (have in mind that collegein brazil is very different and here we choose a course before entering college and we graduate in it so changing a major would be retaking tests, going through admission, starting from scratch - all that).  And while we’ve been going through the options, his father offered a course in Vancouver that could lead to a college degree there and he told me about it. 

Now, from the moment we started going out I knew this would become a subject because he has studied abroad a few times and I know he doesn’t like our town very much so he really wants to leave and I assumed that, given the chance, he’d take it. I’m just a person, he has his whole life ahead of him. He even broke up a relationship the last time he went away, and they’d been together for a while. 

Now, remember how I said I’ve been avoiding doing certain things because when we break up it’s gonna hurt? I’ve been applying this to a lot of things because I’m so used to been abandoned by now, I don’t have much faith in anything. I don’t talk about the future with him, I don’t do much of that. And the fact that he’s much younger also plays a part in that. So, when he sent me a message telling me his father suggested he go to Canada, I said I understood (I was already kinda crying) because he has to go after the stuff he wants and whatever but then he said - without me actually talking about us at all - that part of the reason he doesn’t want to go is because of how happy he is with me and how it’s such a wonderful relationship and when I said there’s more to life than me or whatever and that even if he went, we didn’t have to break up, and when I mentioned I knew this was something he wanted for himself (living abroad) he went on to say that it’s something he wanted for both of us. 

Now, I believe it comes to a point in relationships where everyone makes plans, but this caught me so off-guard, because I’m going so slowly and trying to be realistic that it took me as such a big deal and we really are talking about going in a few years because the course is not what he wants and we both prefer to get college degrees here first and then go for masters abroad, we did a little planning a little research and it felt so nice to hear he wants to be with me and that he hesitated on something like this because this is something he wants to keep. “This” being us and stuff. 

But here’s where the rich part becomes important. I’m really terrified of his dad because he’s scary but also cause being older I just feel like they don’t really want me with him or whatever and I don’t know, it’s anxiety, I just feel very nervous especially when comparedd to his exes, I don’t know. The point is that, it crossed my mind that all this pushing him to move away would conveniently remove me from the equation and even if he didn’t dislike me (I don’t honestly think they do), it’s obviously not important to them who their 20 year old son is dating at the moment because it’s not a big deal and I’m nobody and he dated people before and of all the people he dated I’m the least conventional and whatever. Anyway, I didn’t mention this to him cause it’s a touchy topic but then today he picked me up at work and said

“my dad said something so weird”

and I was already expecting something like “he said i’d be better off without you, move to canada”

but they went out for lunch today and his dad literally said he’d pay for my tickets and my housing to go with my bf if we wanted to?????????????????????

Like, obviously I wouldn’t accept it and it makes more sense for the both of us to get organized and to go in a few years BUT WHAT THE FUCK THE MAN WAS GONNA PAY FOR ME TO BE WITH HIS SON IN ANOTHER COUNTRY????

Everything feels so weirdly serious wtf, it’s only been seven months.