#i went to a therapist in the way that he studied psychology. but hes the dorm director. he saw i was. not doing good this week so he asked

[minglana]

i technically went to a therapist today and i have. so many thoughts

[walpu]

I found a really interesting premise that I think you would execute perfectly. The IPC has established a "mental and emotional health department" basically therapists to help with the stressed out or traumatised IPC worker and it's a mandatory thing to have one visit with them. The reader works in this department and when Topaz, Aventurine and Ratio (separately) went in, all probably thinking it's pointless. Reader proceed to read them like a book to the mineut details of their issues. How would they react? Would they come back for another visit?

thank you so much for your trust, it was actually very interesting to write 🥹

being their therapist

characters - Dr. Ratio, Aventurine, Topaz

notes - gn!reader, no romantic undertones, mostly character study

Dr. Ratio

I feel like he would be a bit taken aback at first.

He didn't expect you to go further than a few generic questions about how the latest missions have affected him and suddenly you're asking about his feelings regarding the IPC recurring him.

"Weren't you disappointed? Didn't you feel like your cooperation with the IPC symbolizes you drifting further away from joining The Genius Society? How do you view The Genius Society in general?"

It's a bit too personal for his liking but he has to admit that you are truly an expert in your field.

I can see him rather harshly asking why are you stepping out of the line with your questions since it's hardly concerns the topic of the therapy session. Not because he's too troubled by you seeing through him but simply because of the professional ethics.

When you elaborate that it's the IPC's request to make a full psychological portrait of their workers he just sighs.

His answers are short, he doesn't elaborate much. Sometimes he simply says that the topic you mentioned doesn't affect his mental state in a way that can prevent him from doing his job and leaves it at that.

He doesn't trust the IPC much since he knows better than giving a powerful organization information about his weaknesses. He does feel a certain level of respect towards you and your professionalism though.

Doesn't feel targeted or overly vulnerable even if it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth to hear his insecurities being acknowledged.

Wouldn't show up again. Mostly because of his distrust to the IPC tho.

Aventurine

Oof.

Both of you will need a drink after that.

There's just so much to unpack really.

If you try to ask him about how he feels almost dying at each mission, he downplays it.

If you ask about his childhood trauma, he shrugs it off.

I don't know how many people saw his interview for anan but everytime he's asked about something personal he brings up how he's actually lucky and hiw he should be grateful. So you get tve spirit.

Doesn't matter what your question is, his answer is the same. He survived, he was loved by his family, all his suffering led him to this, so of course he's grateful what are you taking about ha ha!

Look at his voicelines too, praising the IPC and all that. He gives you this generic answers and hopes you'll buy it.

Well you don't but you also can't force him to answer more honestly.

He himself would be deeply troubled by you reading him like that. He feels weak, defenseless. Like all he has done to protect his inner self was for nothing since you can see through him like that.

0/10 experience he won't show up ever again. Nothing personal against you, he just can't do it. Plus he doesn't trust the ipc either so.

Topaz

Honestly the most normal one.

She will at least try to be honest since she trusts the IPC (maybe a bit too much, which is also a coping mechanism and not the healthiest one, but you can't really call her out on this since you're working for the ipc and, let's be honest, they would not respect their workers' privacy, they WOULD force you to give them their personal information if needed and you don't want to make it worse for Topaz)

She may be a bit taken aback at first but it honestly feels good to talk about her struggles and inner conflicts. And I'm sure she has a lot of those since she's actually trying to do good things, still believing that the IPC can bring positive changes.

Will probably share her experience in Belobog with you.

Will use your meetings as an opportunity to sort out her feelings about her missions.

Has a lot of respect for you personally and actually tries to do some soul-searching to make your meetings more productive.

The only one out if the three of them who would come back

[thelov3lybookworm]

Prone to Infatuation

day 1: human tamlin

modern!au

Summary: Feyre won't mind

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: happy @tamlinweek to all my fellow girlies who love tamtam!!! heres my lil fic for the first day of the week ❣️

enjoyy!!

Coming over to visit her friend's ex had probably not been a great idea. It had been, obviously, a hard decision to make.

But did she regret it?

Absolutely not.

He had been her friend too once, and he did not deserve to be thrown aside after the messy break up.

Sure, what he did was not the best thing to do, but it came from a place of good reasoning. He should not have locked Feyre up in their shared apartment, but Y/n could not find it in herself to blame his actions when she knew of his past.

He had never had parents that loved each other, and so the only way he saw his father caring for his mother was when he would lock her up in the house. Tamlin was young, and did not understand that it was not love that he witnessed, but being a psychology student, Y/n could understand what he went through.

He could have definitely handled it better, but if someone just sat him down to tell him where he went wrong, he could have become better.

She was not erasing his mistakes or saying that he did not make them, but she understood his reasns behind them. He had made mistakes, sure, but so had Feyre when instead of just talking to him, she just up and left and moved on while Tamlin was left with no one.

So today, Y/n had decided to pay him a visit after hearing from Lucien that he seemed to be getting better.

With a deep breath, Y/n lifted her hand to knock on the door to his apartment. A few moments filled with the sounds of shuffling and one loud crash later, his form filled the doorway.

He looked... unkempt. His hair sticking all out in all the wrong places, dark circles under his eyes... He just looked so miserable.

"Um, hi."

He blinked at Y/n, seeming not to hear her words. But then he straightened, the shock fading from his eyes as he gave her an uncertain smile.

"Hey Y/n. What brings you here?"

"What, I can't visit my friends without reason?"

He blinked, leaning back. "Uhh. You can of course. I'm sorry-"

Instantly, guilt spread through Y/n. She reached out to touch the back of his hand, staring up at him. "Tam, I was joking."

"Oh. Right, sorry-"

With a sigh, Y/n wrapped her arms around his torso- shirtless torso-letting her head rest on his chest for a moment until he hugged her back.

He let her go after a moment, the sadness, the loneliness that shone on his face making Y/n want to commit atrocities.

As he led her in, she studied her surroundings, swallowing.

The place was meticulously clean looking, except for a few pieces of clothing here and there.

The house looked nothing like it had the last time she visited with Mor. That was back when Feyre had called them up to break her out of the house.

Everything had been lying on the ground back then, as if thrown around in a fit of rage. Y/n had been disgusted, but now all she felt was sympathy.

"So... how have you been."

Tamlin glanced back at her as he snatched his t-shirt form the back of the couch. "Better."

Y/n smiled, nodding.

"That's great."

He studied her for a moment, his eyes skeptical. But then he settled down on one of the chairs at the kitchen island, sighing. "It really is. You were right. Therapy does help."

That statement surprised Y/n. She could not remember talking to him about therapy except for that one time she had mentioned about it in passing, telling him something about her chosen subject of study.

"You are going to therapy?"

He offered her a small smile. "Yes. And it's been helping a lot."

Y/n placed her bag on the counter as she mirrored his position and smiled, genuine and happy. "I'm so glad to hear that, Tam. How is it going?"

"The therapist reminds me a lot of my mother, with the way she looks, the way she yells at me sometimes," He laughed. "I'm becoming better, that much I know. I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone stays forever, and that it is okay to let go of people. It took me over two months to get over my fear of losing people, but its working."

Her eyes prickled at the genuine joy he radiated, the way he seemed more open and vulnerable and happy about it too.

"That's amazing. You atleast have your friends, even though she left. You'll always have us."

He paused for a moment. "Does she know you're visiting?"

Y/n sighed. "She is not my mother, she does not need to know about my whereabouts."

"So she doesn't."

Her silence was answer enough for him.

"You should lave then. I don't want you to jeopardise your friendship just because you came to see her abusive ex."

Tears gathered in Y/n's eyes at his thoughtfulness.

"She won't mind."

I hope she doesn't.

If she got mad about Y/n just visiting Tamlin, Y/n couldn't fathom what Feyre would do if she found out about Y/n's little crush on Tamlin.

"Are you hungry?"

A few hours, a bottle of wine and two large pizzas later, Y/n found herself spread on Tamlin's couch like a blanket as she giggled at something a drunk Tamlin mumbled from where he sat on the ground, leaning back against the couch next to her head.

Silence settled between them again, the awkwardness from a few hours ago nowhere in sight.

"I should get going."

Tamlin glanced at the clock on the opposite wall at that, nodding solemnly. "It's getting late."

Y/n rolled over, reaching up to twirl a strand of his hair around her fingers. "I don't want to though."

He turned his head to look at her, his face flushed from the wine. "Stay then."

Y/n smirked. "Already trying to get me into your bed huh. At least take me out on a date first."

He laughed, head thrown back. "Would this not be considered a date?" He said, gesturing to the half empty eaten pizza on the low coffee table.

"No."

He grinned, leaning his head closer to hers. "Fine then. Are you free tomorrow? Let me take you out on this date you want."

Suddenly, Y/n felt much more sober. "What?"

He huffed. "You basically have I like Tamlin written on your forehead in red paint, love. You can't expect me to not notice."

Y/n shot up, wrapping her arms around herself to do what, she didn't know. "I- I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. We're humans. We tend to fall in love and are prone to infatuation."

Y/n gave him an unamused look as she stood, gathering her things and heading towards the door.

She could hear him following her, but she ignored the urge to just die and reached for her coat hanging next to the door.

Tried to.

His hand caught hers before she could grab the material, tugging her back into his hard chest.

"I am not kidding Y/n. I mean it. Let me take you out for dinner. And not just because I want you in my bed."

She turned her head to look at him, failing to hide her blush due to his proximity.

"What..."

He gave her a dazzling smile. "Let me take you out on a date. Let me court you, the way you read about in your books."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Really."

"Okay..."

"So I'll pick you up at seven?"

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady @lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @gardenofrunar

[atlafan]

Carnal Attraction - Part One

a/n: sexology professor!harry is here!! Just a reminder, this is the only part being posted on here. The rest will be on Patreon. I can’t wait to know what you all think so far. This is going to be a good one, I think.

Warnings: talk of sexual acts, mentions of sexual misconduct

Words: 4.7K

Tumblr Masterlist I Patreon Masterlist

The world of academia is astounding. People stay in higher education for so many different reasons. Some go off to become medical doctors, others become doctors in specific fields like psychology or literature or philosophy. Some choose to stay in academia because they don’t want to sell their souls to industry work. Mavis always loved school. She was one of those kids that did well no matter what the subject was. She studied hard, wanting to take in more and more information. She was naturally gifted in the art of time management. Everything clicked for her. If something was puzzling, she’d figure it out.

There isn’t much she can’t figure out. Which is why she’s grown increasingly aggravated with her sexology professor. She can’t figure him out. She swears he hates her. He’s short with her, and less personable with her than he is with the other students. She’s never struggled like this with someone before. And he wasn’t even supposed to be the one teaching her courses!

When Mavis tells people she’s in graduate school for a master’s in sexology, they look at her funny. Furrowed eyebrows, puzzled facial expressions, etc. No one can ever piece together why someone would get an advanced degree in a subject like this. That’s because people can’t get their minds out of the gutter. In undergrad, Mavis majored in psychology, and minored in gender and sexuality studies. She eventually wants to produce literature and perform psychoanalysis on sexual behavior and sexual issues. She thought she wanted to be a psychiatrist, but that involves medical school. And as smart as she is, she’s rather squeamish when it comes to blood. So, then she thought maybe being a psychologist, some type of sex therapist would be good, but she honestly has a tough time speaking aloud about the various subjects. And sex therapy isn’t just for helping couples have better sex, a lot of it is helping people with history of sexual abuse recover and find ways to heal. Mavis doesn’t have the stomach for that. She cried too many times reading case studies about it in undergrad.

All that being said, she eventually wants to get her doctorate in psychology with a concentration in sexology, so when she found a graduate program to help get her started on that journey, she went for it. She could write about sexual disorders and the like all day. When she’s writing and researching, she’s quite helpful to others. She enjoys learning about sexual history, those were always her favorite courses. Learning about how trans people in the 1800’s used binders to hide their breasts, learning about how two opposite sex couples would get married, go in on a duplex together, and use the basement to sneak over to sleep with their same sex partner, learning about different gay and lesbian liberation movements, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and so much more was where her interest was. It all just fascinated her, it all astounded her, and a lot of it just made her downright upset. Tears would litter her textbooks as she read about people being beaten senseless until they were left for dead in the streets. She’d cry because all of it was happening not too long ago. She cried because it still happens today.

She’s quite empathetic, and almost too much to a fault. But she can’t help that she cares! She enjoys studying the psychology side of things, how the brain functions of these people work, how the brains of bigots function, if there’s a disparity between the two on scans or octopuses. All Mavis wants to do is hunker down in her own academic sanctuary and research and read and write and publish.

Mavis had been assigned an advisor over the summer, one whom she emailed with frequently to make sure she was taking the correct courses in the correct sequence. Her advisor recommended courses with one specific professor, Professor Amaro. Apparently, her classes were top tier, and she was a favorite amongst the other graduate students. No brainer – sign up for Amaro’s courses.

Except when Mavis showed up for her first day of Human Sexuality, a co-requisite for her Sexual Pleasure Education course, there was a man standing at the podium, hooking his laptop up to the HDMI cable so he could project onto the screen up front. At first, she thought maybe he was a TA just setting up for Professor Amaro. She paid it no mind. She found a seat in the middle front, and got her own things set up. It’s syllabus week, so there won’t be much to go over, but Mavis still likes to take handwritten notes. She pulled her agenda, a notebook, and her copy of the syllabus out, and set them on her desk. The classroom is small, only meant to hold about twenty-five people. Mavis prefers small classrooms. She’s not a fan of lecture halls with stadium-style seating.

“Is anyone sitting here?” A woman’s voice took over Mavis’ attention. The desks are set up for two people to sit at. “If it is, I can sit somewhere else.”

“Oh! No, go right ahead.” Mavis smiled. “I’m Mavis.”

“Thanks.” The woman says with relief as she sits down. “I’m Taraji, I use she/they pronouns.”

“Nice to meet you. I use she/her. Thanks for letting me know yours.”

“Nice to meet you too, and no problem. It’s something new I’m trying out. I don’t…I don’t always feel like a she, you know?”

“Totally get that.”

“Sorry, I hope that wasn’t too much info too soon.”

“No worries.” Mavis waves her off. “We’re going to be talking about some real shit in this class, it’s best to just be open and honest.”

“Agreed.” Taraji takes out her own agenda and notebook. “I hate that we have to take this course in conjunction with the sexual pleasure class. I feel like I’ve taken a million human sexuality courses at this point.”

“I know, it seems a little odd, but I figure there must be more high level stuff to discuss since this is at the grad level. And review isn’t always a bad thing, I like refreshers.”

“Well, aren’t you full of silver linings?” Taraji smiles. “We need more people like that in this world.”

The girls continue to chat while the class fills in. At 10:30, the man at the front closes the door and turns the projector on, revealing his screen. Mavis’ stomach drops when she sees Human Sexuality – Professor Styles – M/W 10:30-12:00 in big bold letters.

“What happened to Professor Amaro?” She whispers to Taraji.

“Beats me.” Taraji shrugs. “Maybe we signed up for the wrong section?”

“That can’t be it, this is the only section being offered.”

The man, Professor Styles, clears his throat to get everyone’s attention. He’s wearing a button up, but it’s not buttoned up all the way. You can see his undershirt. His sleeves are rolled up, revealing quite a few tattoos. Round glasses are on the bridge of his nose, and his hair is pushed back with a couple of curls falling forward on his forehead. He looks young. Who the fuck is this guy?

“Morning, everyone.” His deep voice fills the room as he rounds the podium to stand in front of the desk attached to it. He leans back against it, gripping the edge behind him. “I’m Professor Harry Styles, I prefer to be called professor, so please try to remember that. I’m sure you’re very confused as to why I’m standing here and not Professor Amara.” He pauses to take a sip of water from his Nalgene. “I quite literally found out the other day that I would be taking over her courses. To be transparent with all of you, Professor Amaro is under investigation for sexual misconduct with her patients. As many of you know, a lot of the professors in the psychology department have their own practices outside of academia. Summer is when Professor Amaro picks up new patients. There was someone undercover seeing her for therapy, and she was caught taking advantage. It’s extremely disappointing. So, not only will she be losing her licensure, but she has been let go from the institution as well. We do not condone the abuse of patients. We also do not want someone so unethical being the one to teach our future therapists. How many of you are in here as part of the clinical licensure program?” More than half of the class raises their hands. “Right, I thought so. I usually teach undergraduate courses, but I’m fully prepared to teach at the graduate level just the same. I know many of you have already taken different iterations of Human Sexuality, but this course is integral for you so you can fully get what’s needed out of the Sexual Pleasure Education course. It says 10:30 to noon up here, but I’ll typically only be keeping you for about an hour, if that. Many of you have research and other time consuming things to do, and I want to be cognizant of that. I am also working towards my PhD, I’m about two years into my program and research.” He pauses again, knowing he just word vomited. The class is stunned with the bomb he just dropped about Professor Amaro, and they’re whiplashed going from that to the basic information about the course. “Any questions so far?”

“I have one.” A brave soul in the back raises their hand. “Which undergraduate courses do you teach? Will you need any TA’s since your load just got bigger?”

“Great question, thank you for asking. I will end up needing TA’s, but I have to wait to meet with the department chair to see what our budget is. I teach the undergraduate intro to gender and sexuality studies, and I also teach some of the higher level special topics courses. This semester I’m teaching the history of feminism, which is one of my favorites to teach, and I’m also teaching the film history course that focuses on how sex has been depicted in film since its start to the present.”

“You’re teaching a course about feminism?” Another person asks.

“Yes.” Professor Styles smirks. “It’s one of my main focuses of study. I may not be a woman, but I am a man that believes in equity and equality. Plus, I’m a huge history buff, so I enjoy teaching about how the movement began and how feminism has transformed over the years, both the good and the bad of it.”

Mavis swallows thickly. She’s a history buff too. Maybe she could be a TA for one of his classes. The extra money would be nice, and so would the bit of teaching experience if she were allowed to give a lecture or two.

“Let’s focus on this class. We’ll be going over a number of topics, and at times you may feel the need to giggle because of nerves. We’re going to discuss endorsement, communication, fantasy, masturbation, homosexuality, bisexuality, desensitization and resensitization, female and male sexuality, sexual enrichment, special problems, therapy, and cultural expression. So, this gives us a base for what we’ll be discussing in the co-requisite course. Now, I’m going to do something that I do with my undergrads, I’m going to say a ton of words and phrases that you’ll feel the need to giggle about as we discuss certain topics. This is your only chance to laugh. If you do it throughout the semester, then we’re going to have a problem. If you become a sex therapist, you can’t laugh at your patients. We’ll get into why these words make us feel nervous, and why we feel the need to laugh when we hear them.” He grabs the remote for the projector and clicks it. Everyone gasps and starts laughing when they see many words and phrases appear. “Alright: penis, vagina, pussy, cunt, cock, dick, mutual masturbation, anal, penetration, fingering, eating out, going down, blow job, hand job, sucking someone off, breasts, boobs, nipples, fetish, BDSM, whips, chains, handcuffs, threesomes, orgies, condoms, contraceptives, birth control pills, IUD, sex toys, dildo, vibrator, cock ring, lube, dirty talk, dominant, submissive, daddy, baby talk, douching, porn, clit, clitoris, prostate, prostate orgasm, orgasm, vaginal orgasm, stimulation, fucking, fisting, getting wet, wet, come, precome, squirt, squirting, ejaculation, and sex.”

The entire class is snickering and giggling and laughing, even Mavis. Hearing all of those things back to back and watching the words dance on the screen in an animated fashion is hilarious. What a fun approach to getting people more comfortable with these terms.

“There are many more words and phrases, obviously, but these will be the ones we use more often.” Professor Styles explains, smiling fondly to the class. “If you’d like to be considered for a TA position, please come up to me after you’re dismissed. “Any questions?” No one raises their hand. “Great, then you’re dismissed. Enjoy the nice weather.”

Mavis and Taraji exchange contact info, and agree to meet for coffee tomorrow morning before their sexual pleasure course. A few people go up to Professor Styles to tell him they’d like to be a TA, and he takes down their information. Mavis is the last in line, the last student in the classroom with Professor Styles.

“Name?” He asks, not looking up at her.

“Mavis Ashford.”

“Alright.” He looks up at her now, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Do you have a preference?”

“I’d love to help out in the feminism course or the film history course. I like the historical side of things when it comes to studying this content.”

“Great, those are usually the ones I have trouble finding help for.”

“Really? I’m surprised.”

“Since a lot of you are here to become licensed therapists or psychologists, not a lot of people are interested in the theoretical aspect of things.”

“Well, I definitely do not want to be a therapist. I want to do research, eventually get my PhD, like you, I suppose. I’m sad about Professor Amaro, I heard so many good things about her.”

“None of us knew about any of it. She hid what she was doing well. She had been doing it for years, supposedly.” He sighs and takes his glasses off, putting them into their case. Mavis catches how green his eyes are, almost like sage. “Did you have any other questions? I need to get across campus to my office so I can take some time to edit the Canvas courses a little more.”

“Oh! No, sorry. Guess I was just curious to know how long you’ve been teaching for. You mentioned you were in your second year of your doctoral program, so-“

“There’s a bio page for me. My listing lives under the Psychology department. I’ll keep you in mind for my special topics courses. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Mavis watches the very flustered, unorganized man leave the room in a rush. His papers were all over the place, and he just shoved all his things in his bag. How chaotic. Maybe if she’s able to become his TA, she could help him with that.

**

Since Monday went so well, including Mavis’ other courses, she’s excited for Tuesday. She meets Taraji for coffee, as planned, and then they head to class. A course about Sexual Pleasure Education at 9AM is wild, but if coffee doesn’t wake the class up, the content of the course sure will. Harry is at the podium, connecting his computer, just as he did yesterday. Mavis and Taraji sit at the same table they did yesterday. The class eventually fills in, and Harry turns the projector on.

“Let’s see, did I scare anyone off since yesterday?” He asks out loud, but it’s more for himself, as he checks off names on his attendance sheet. “Great, you’re all here.” He smiles. “I know you’re probably thinking how I could have possibly memorized all your names already, but I haven’t. I just have your student ID pictures next to your names on my sheet.” He leans back against the table, gripping the edge of it, same as he did yesterday, and scans over the class. “Welcome to Sexual Pleasure Education. In this class, we will discuss strategies for improved sex life, sex aids, sexual approaches, and male and female pleasuring. We will also be stressing the value of various body work techniques for persons intending to work in the field of sex therapy and counseling. Lastly, we will discuss sexological exploration of objects which have been created in response to sexual desire and experience.” He pauses to take a sip of water. “Basically, this is sex ed on crack.”

“Professor Styles?” A girl in the back raises her hand, and he nods for her to continue. “So, are there going to be, like, demonstrations in class?”

“Yes. Most people learn best by doing. And it’s important for you to know what you’re talking about if you end up becoming the type of therapist that has to make recommendations for couples. The conversations we’re going to have in this class are going to feel awkward and taboo. There are going to be days where we look at various sex toys and how to use them, and why people use them.”

“I sort of meant, like, is anything going to be demonstrated on an actual person?” The same girl asks.

“Considering that this isn’t a tantric sex workshop, no.” He smirks. “We’ll look at various anatomical diagrams to go over specific areas where people find pleasure and how best to get them to feel it in those areas.”

“Professor Styles?” A boy in the front raises his hand, and Harry nods for him to continue. “I know this isn’t technically a psychology course, but are we going to get into kinks and why some people have specific ones or like using specific objects?”

“Yes and no. We’ll discuss the psychology behind kinks in our Human Sexuality course. What we do on Mondays and Wednesdays will be more theoretical, and what we do on Tuesdays and Thursdays will be more practical. Great questions so far. Anyone have anything else?”

“Will there be trigger warnings?” Taraji asks. “For both classes?”

“Yes, when we get into some of the heavier topics, there will be trigger warnings. I’m working on updating the syllabus so you’ll all know when to expect those. If the topic is so heavy that you don’t feel as though you can come to class, please let me know so we can have a one-on-one session so we can go over the material. I can meet in-person or on zoom.”

“Thank you.” Taraji smiles softly.

“Are we going to be talking about our own personal sex lives in class?” Another girl asks.

“That depends on how comfortable you feel. We may share anecdotes, and we may not. If you become a therapist, remember that what might work for you, might not work for others. However, your patients will ask you about your personal experience with some of the things you recommend to them. I’m not saying you need to shove a butt plug up your ass in order to have a frame of reference, but sometimes it helps for your patient to know you’re a real person. Just don’t cross any hard boundaries. We all know that many patients tend to experience romantic feelings towards their therapists. That can happen twice as much with sex therapy. You need to make it clear right from the start that even though it’s a safe space for them, things will still be professional. No one is to ever take their clothes off during an appointment. That’s what leads to things like what happened with Professor Amaro to happen. Respect will be integral to this course, as well as not kink-shaming. You may find something weird that someone else may love, and vice versa. You don’t have to agree, but please be mindful of how you speak to and about others.” He drums his fingers behind him as he takes another pause. “All of that being said, if we do discuss personal sexual experiences, you need to speak about them educationally. I don’t want to hear things like, ‘this one time I was fucking this dude and he,’ blah blah blah. Okay?”

The class makes a collective noise of agreement that makes Harry very happy.

“I’m hoping to have the courses updated to my liking by next Monday. I should also know by then about TA positions for my undergraduate courses. Do we have any other questions right now?” No one answers. “Excellent. For tomorrow’s Human Sexuality class, I’d like you all to fill out these surveys.” He starts handing out papers row by row. “They’re to give me a pulse check on what you already know a lot about, and the areas you need a bit more information on. It’ll help for Thursday’s lesson in here as well.” Once all of the papers are passed out, Harry goes back to the front of the room. “If no one else has any questions, you’re all free to go.”

Everyone begins packing up their things. Mavis is stuck looking over the survey questions. Her cheeks are beat red, she just knows it.

“You coming?” Taraji asks her.

“Um, yeah.” Mavis blinks and starts packing up her things. “I just have a few questions for Professor Styles. Wanna get lunch later?”

“I’d love to. Text me later.”

Mavis nods to her new friend, and goes to the back of the line of students that have questions for Harry. Just like yesterday, it’s the two of them alone in the room. He doesn’t look at her as he stuffs his papers into his bag.

“Have you ever thought to use an accordion folder for all of that?” She asks him.

“You waited in line just to ask me that?” He looks up at her, taking his glasses off and putting them into their case.

“No.” She laughs sheepishly. “I just had a few questions about this survey.”

“Alright, shoot.” He tells her, crossing his arms over his chest loosely.

“The first question says to list five common sex toys that I know of.”

“Correct.”

“Then the second questions says to explain the function of each of the toys.”

“Also correct.”

“What if you’re not familiar with well-known sex toys? Is it okay to look up the functionality?”

“No, just give your best guess as to why someone would use it.” He looks at her, studies her. He has a question of his own to ask, but it could come off as inappropriate. “I’m going to try to phrase this in the most professional way possible…do you not have much, um, first-hand experience with sex toys?”

Mavis’ eyes widen. All she can do is shake her head no. Harry nods in understanding, not being the least bit judgmental.

“It’s not that I haven’t wanted to know more about them, like, I know a lot about the history of them, the…the theoretical side of things, as you mentioned before. But in practice…I guess that’s where I need to learn more.”

“That’s fine, you can just say that on the survey. You can keep it anonymous too. I didn’t leave a space for your names at the top.”

“So, it’s not a big deal if I haven’t personally done some of the things we’re going to discuss.” She says for clarification.

“Perfectly fine. You could be a virgin for all I care. You just need to be able to discuss and write about these things knowledgably and eloquently.”

“Well, I’m not a vi-“ She’s about to scoff, but he raises his hand to halt her from finishing her sentence.

“I don’t need to know the particulars of what you have and haven’t done, Miss Ashford.”

“You just said we need to be able to discuss these things, though.”

“Yes, as a class, when other people are around. Not when you’re in here alone with me. Someone could get the wrong idea about why we’re having this very conversation.” He slings his bag over his shoulder. “Don’t over think it, it’s just a pulse check.”

He leaves her there, sweating. Did he think she was coming on to him? Did he think she was flirting? She wasn’t! She would never do something like that with a professor.

**

The rest of the week goes by smoothly. Mavis makes sure not to ask Harry any questions after class. In the second session of Human Sexuality, they went through all the changes Harry made to the course Canvas page and to the syllabus. They did the same for the second session of Sexual Pleasure Education. Pretty easy stuff that the students are thankful for. The other courses Mavis is taking are research methods and a high-level sociology course. So starting off on the slower side is a major bonus. Harry lets them know that he’ll post a paper on his office door on Friday with who has been selected as TA’s.

Around noon on Friday, after a work out and a hearty breakfast, Mavis makes her way to the building Harry’s office is in. She takes her headphones out as she gets inside, and makes her way upstairs and down a hallway until she gets to the psych department office suite. His door is closed, so the paper is easy to read. Her eyes scan over it, and she’s taken aback when she doesn’t see her name. Four students were chosen: Eric, Alyssa, Mohamed, and Liza. Mavis frowns deeply. How could she not have been chosen? She spoke to Harry directly about helping with his higher level courses. What made these students better choices than her?

She hears the squeak of a sneaker skidding, and turns her head in its direction. There Professor Styles is. He looks rigid, almost like he had stopped short and was about to turn around. He sighs heavily and makes his way down the hall.

“Miss Ashford.” He nods and unlocks his office door. “I would have thought you would have been here first thing this morning.”

“Why didn’t you just email the students that got selected instead of making all of us come down here?”

“Because I didn’t make my decision until very late last night.” He tells her, opening his door and setting his things down on his desk. His office looks like a tornado hit it.

“Still, you could have emailed-“

“Miss Ashford, what is it that you need? I don’t have office hours today and I’m very busy.”

“I want to know why I wasn’t selected. I told you how much I love the history courses, I could have been a major help.”

“I’m sure that’s true, but I didn’t think you were the right fit for what I needed.”

“You came to that conclusion from only a week of knowing me?”

“I know the four students I selected better. I had them in my courses as undergrad students. They already know my teaching style and the learning outcomes of the courses.”

“Again, if you knew-“

“You need to go now.” He tells her, taking a dominant step forward, making her take a step back. “Don’t take it personally.”

“How can I not when you just told me I wasn’t the right fit?” She pouts, and she swears Harry’s eyes flicker down to her mouth, only for a millisecond.

“Mavis, I don’t feel comfortable with us being alone like this. There’s no one else in the office right now, I’m one of the few instructors that actually utilizes their space on Fridays.”

“But if you had office hours, I’d be alone with you.”

“Yes, with the door open, while other people are around.”

“Are you afraid of someone accusing you of doing what Professor Amaro did? I feel like you’re being overly cautious…with me.”

“You ask a lot of questions, and it’s annoying. You’re annoying. That’s why I didn’t select you. I don’t have any desire to be around you more than I’m already obligated to.”

“Are…are you allowed to speak to me like this?”

“Maybe.” He shrugs. “Or maybe not. Who’s to say? It’s your word against mine, right? No one else is here. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? I already told you I felt uncomfortable, now please go before I have to call campus police to escort you out.”

Mavis is stunned, and about ready to cry. Harry rolls his eyes when she doesn’t budge, so he goes into his office and slams the door in her face. What the fuck is his problem?!

**

[octuscle]

Hey there! I work as a therapist and a few of us were starting to think of the clinical applications of chronivac. We were wondering if you wanted to work together to develop some presets that our clients could use to de-stress and take a break from their stressful lives. I know we have one stressed out university student who could benefit from something like this.

At Chronivac, we are always interested in collaborating with research institutions. After all, Chronivac is not used just to have fun. It is already being used for the treatment of various physical illnesses and also for resocialization projects. The use in the psychotherapeutic field would be new, but sounds interesting according to the research and development department. If the student they are talking about is available as a guinea pig, perhaps send us a requirements profile for a transformation. And we'll see what we can do….

Research Diary Timothy Walker

Day One: My psychotherapist tells me that my burn-out syndrome has progressed to the point that continuing my business studies is out of the question at this point. In fact, I am having a hard time concentrating. Writing this report is causing me great difficulty; my attention span is only a few minutes. Therefore, an experimental therapy has been decided with the psychology faculty, which is connected with a semester off for me. Under certain circumstances, the semester can be counted as an internship. Everything is fine with me. I am just tired. The work on the research diary was exhausting for me. I need to lie down.

Second day: I slept very well. No wild nightmares as usual. I woke up briefly once or twice at most, but went right back to sleep. Michael, who is in charge of the project as pysiotherapist, thinks that this would be a good starting point to work on my physical fitness. We both went running for an hour. I'm exhausted, I haven't moved that much since I started studying. But I feel good. Made myself a real breakfast for the first time in months according to my new nutrition plan. I'm supposed to spend the rest of the day walking on the beach. Let's see if that clears my head.

Third day: Before Michael came for the training session, I was already in the gym for an hour. I'm really enjoying the physical activity. The beach walk yesterday was great. And Michael was thrilled to see the progress I'm making in terms of fitness. Had the first session with my creativity coach today. Seems a little silly to me. But imagining what I would be doing if I weren't studying business was fun. But I have to admit, my head isn't really getting creative yet. At least writing the diary is already much easier for me.

Day four: I need new challenges. The beach run with Mike is fun, but it's not a sport. That's warming up. We discussed that I would go running alone for an hour tomorrow and that we would meet in the gym of the therapy center. I'm supposed to come without a T-shirt. Mike wants me to learn to love my body. To be honest, I already do. I've already jerked off twice today. And think about sex a lot more than usual. Mike also comes in the process. My creative trainer is also quite cute, but he's too skinny for me. I like men who have a lot of muscle on them.

Fifth day: Fuck, the workout with Mike is awesome! I love the gym from the first minute. Yes, the beach feels my home. But the gym is the place that prepares me for that home. Working out shirtless makes the workout even more intense. i can't get enough of Mike's and my sweat beading on our pecs. But I'm so horny. All the time. During the creative training with Kev it just bubbled out of me today. I would so love to be a lifeguard. Maybe not all the time. But on vacation. And on the weekends. The idea made me even hornier. Poor Kev. He's not my type, but I had to nail him during practice. No idea when I last had sex. but this first time in a long time was incredibly intense. Thank God Kev felt the same way….

Day six: Today is uh free day at da therapy center. Mike n kev are already down at da beach, I wanted to pump up da muscles beforehand. I'm looking forward to da sea n da sand. Both make my head so free. Although I wouldn't feel like my head wuz overly full right now anyway. Pumping, fucking, jogging n swimming. That's really all I'm thinking about right now. Kevin says that I certainly wouldn't have to worry about da practical entrance exams for lifeguards. But I shouldn't underestimate da theory. Shit, studying sucks. But I guess it haz to be.

Day seven: I like it when I have da early shift. Da routine of opening da station is relaxing, da beach is still quiet, da few guests are usually relaxed n in uh gud mood. Wuz one of da best ideas of my life to take uh semester off n work as uh lifeguard. My pal mikey told me to lay off this crappy journal. Somehow I thought it wuz important until now. I can't remember why, either. Anyway. Da main thing is that da surf is gud. Den you can have some fun with da surfers afta work. Hehehehe…

[blindmagdalena]

i read a fic recently where homelander is dating his psychiatrist or wants to date her i cant remember which it was but i wanted to see how you thought that relationship might playout

lol so funnily enough, the original concept for Eat Your Ego, Honey had Layla as Homelander’s therapist, not an escort. I think you can still see traces of that in the way I write her psychoanalyzing him, but ultimately I went with escort because it better fit the story and character I wanted to write. though I still slipped in her having majored in psychology.

as for the scenario itself, it’s something I toyed with last year behind closed doors with a friend. in my mind it’s very much a slow burn where Homelander is consistently pushing boundaries and gradually blurring the lines between what’s appropriate and what isn’t. it’s only natural, given his character, that anyone who takes on his emotional needs and challenges him in the way a therapist has to is going to become someone he’s overly reliant on. with how badly his wires are crossed, he is going to translate that to love.

it’s something i’m still interested in writing, but at this point it would probably have too much in common with EYE. maybe i’ll tackle it after i get some distance from that fic, who knows!

either way, it would be MUCH more of a physical slow burn and focus a lot more on tackling Homelander’s emotional damage over the intimacy challenges they confront in EYE. dig into that traumatic childhood. have stricter boundaries to overcome. i like the idea of a fic like this serving as a character study for Homelander first, and a romance second.

i’m torn on whether i’d write something like this as a reader fic or an oc fic. reader fic is great, but i often have trouble making firm characterization choices with a reader perspective.

anyways, thank you for asking! patient x therapist has always been one of my favorite fic tropes.

[mrsunder]

Been a while since I posted about the Zombie!Ghost AU so I thought I’d chuck out some tiny morsels into the yard for everyone.

- The only reason Ghost wasn't locked away in a deep dark hole as a lab experiment for the rest of his life was because of a disabled American military vet that got screwed over after serving.

The doctor that saw Ghost after he was brought in managed to check his heart and notice it wasn't beating. He cleared the room Ghost was kept in with the excuse of him needing to calm down after unknown trauma. No one wanted to argue because he had nearly ripped someone's arm off as they tried to bring him to the hospital. After Ghost "calmed down" the doctor found his heartbeat and signs of obvious physical trauma that should have killed him.

He called his buddy, a vet that told him stories about some of the more classified things he saw when he was serving and how he was fucked over after he was let go with a black void on his x-rays and even more black in his medical files. Without the proper clearance, his doctors "couldn't prove he had a reason to be ill the way he was" so he was treated like shit by the VA that was supposed to help him to the point that it took him years to even get pain relief. When his friend called about Ghost he didn't even hesitate to throw every favor, friendship, and classified blackmail he had around to make sure another soldier didn't get fucked for serving his country.

Price was at the hospital with Ghost within the week.

- Ghost has his own team of specialists.

As part of the deals in place that keep him free, Ghost has to take missions that are very likely to end with him “dead”. In return he has a number of people that take care of his medical and psychological care.

Surgeons with trauma specialties to repair the wounds that cause his death. A cosmetic surgeon to hide fatal wounds in visible areas (like the head and neck)  or scars he wouldn't be able to explain to people. A therapist that helps him deal with the trauma of dying over and over and the fact that "he's a monster". There's also a doctor dedicated to studying his behavior when dead to make sure he doesn't become a threat to those around him.

- Ghost hunted down every zombie movie he could find as a way to hurt himself mentally. He convinced himself he was a monster and used zombie films to reinforce it.

Eventually he discovered the movie "Fido" (which you can watch on youtube!) and it put a little voice in the back of his head that maybe he didn’t have to be a monster. It took months before he went searching for more movies with zombies that weren't just brain hungry ghouls, but when he did it helped him start to wrap his head around the thought that maybe he wasn't just a threat to those around him that needed put down. - Zombie!Ghost is influenced heavily by smell. He's especially comforted by the scent of the rest of the 141. When he's in medical getting fixed up whoever is closest will be asked to stay in the room while the doctors fix Ghost up, but if they’re unable to stay for whatever reason they’re asked for their current shirt, which they wrap around a heating pad to help keep Ghost calm while they work on his body. He can't stand any "hospital" smells and will scratch at his skin (or the skin of someone that spent enough time in medical) until the smell is gone. - After being fixed up one of the 141 will stay with him in his room until he comes back to himself. It used to be just Price that stayed with him, but after finding out Soap is the one that spends the most time with him and even Gaz has started keeping an eye on him. Price spends most of his time doing paperwork, but sometimes he'll catch up on any sleep he's missed while Ghost curls up in bed next to him. Gaz will borrow a laptop and watch movies (normally cartoons or romcoms to keep from spooking Ghost with things like gunshots, explosions, or people being violently killed) while Ghost leans against him to watch. Gaz isn't sure if he can follow the movies or not, but he seems to enjoy them well enough. Soap spends most of his time sleeping or idlily running a hand through Ghost's hair while filling the silence with whatever topic he can think of because Ghost will force him onto the bed and lay on top of him. Zombie!Ghost likes when his bed is warm and smells like Soap (and when Soap smells like him)

[airlock]

supposed to be asleep; instead thinking about what it is we really mean when we say Neurotypical and Neurodivergent

I remember mentioning those terms to a former therapist of mine (who I stopped seeing for amicable reasons, not because he was bad or anything like that), and him always finding them strange, and saying that he doesn't think there's anyone out there who would actually fit the description of Neurotypical. at the time I kinda thought he was full of it, but lately I feel I've been starting to understand what he was onto.

(something to clarify on those statements. some of you might be thinking, wait, you really had to explain to a practicing therapist what "neurotypical" and "neurodivergent" are? and others of you might be thinking, wait, how could you possibly think that your therapist, who unlike you has a degree, might have been full of it? so let me clarify on both of these fronts in one fell swoop. I've studied psychology myself for a good long while, and one thing I learned doing so is that staggeringly little of the field is actually about neurodivergent people, and what little is, rarely ever says things that are serious and sensible about them -- seriously, you would not believe the type of ignorant shit I've heard out of students and professors alike. makes it quite strange that as a society we're so stiff on the assertion that they're the sole rightful authority on neurodivergent people, no?)

the thing about it is that I'm really not quite sure I've ever met an actual neurotypical person in my life. and I know, I'm extremely online, of course the people that I hang out with are overwhelmingly depressed autistic types -- but I'm talking about more than that. I'm talking about, say, how, when earlier this year a clinician was explaining my ADHD diagnosis to me and my mother, she was seeing herself in every symptom described but also begging the clinician not to diagnose her with nothing. and y'know -- ADHD is thought to typically be genetic in nature, isn't it?

and y'know, most people are more like my mother, stubbornly refusing the idea that they might be different in some way, than like me, earnestly trying to figure out who I am, what my limitations are, and how I can live with them.

how many people are there who would seriously self-identify as Neurotypical? people who care about the distinction are overwhelmingly neurodivergent. and if Neurotypical is only ever other people, then, how do I really know that someone actually is that -- am I just assuming, when I talk to them?

and again to be clear, I'm not thinking of my obviously neurodivergent internet friends when I'm talking about this. I'm thinking about family members, I'm thinking about people I went to school with, I'm even thinking about the ones who bullied me in there. do I really know, for a fact, that any of these people are Neurotypical? if I think about it long and hard, is there not a single thing that they do that I could possibly spin into diagnosis? do I know that they don't fit in with not just not a single one of the conditions that people talk about a lot, but also with every page in the DSM? do I know, or is Neurotypical just some chimera that I'm forced to assume perhaps exists somewhere out there?

is Neurotypical like gender biology, inasmuch as not even cis people ever fit perfectly into the checklist of things that are supposed to signify a certain gender or another, much less trans people?

so I then asked myself: if I had the power to take those words two, Neurotypical and Neurodivergent, and put them up on the shelf forevermore, never to be used again -- what, if anything, would that change? would there be any experiences that can no longer be described? would anything be lost?

I came to a conclusion, in the end. and it's that, while there doesn't seem to be anyone who can aptly be described as Neurotypical, there most certainly are people who are Neurodivergent. but it's not because of the definition given -- it's not merely because some diagnosis or another described them aptly. it's because there are some people in this world who, directly or indirectly, knowingly or not on the part of their oppressors, have been othered because of their minds.

or perhaps I should say -- consistently othered because of their minds. because every once in a while, everyone puts other people up in a box that's labeled "this person does not think human thoughts in the way that I do". I don't understand how someone could be so stupid in traffic; I don't understand how someone could be so rude to a stranger; I don't understand how someone could commit murder -- things like that. but not everyone gets their lives shaped by people constantly, continuously coming to that conclusion about them, and often from a position of power.

it's really a lot like race, in a sense. race is not a concrete, material fact whatsoever. the racial role that a person is made to play can vary greatly with the context. but racism is nonetheless pervasive enough that it would be silly to tell people that race doesn't Exist in any sense. it may be a fickle, imaterial idea, but it's one that impacts people's lives for better or for worse time and time and time and time again.

similarly, it may be the best way to draw the line between Neurodivergent and Neurotypical isn't to draw the line between having or not having mental conditions, but to draw the line between people who are or are not othered because of their mental conditions.

not, mind you, that it would ever be as simple as redefining those words (or coming up with new ones) and then rigidly adhering to that definition.

firstly, because I imagine that the reason why we drew the line where it presently is, is so that no one has to play Oppression Olympics for the right to identify as Neurodivergent. I must surmise that moving it from that spot always carries the risk of inviting people to practice all sorts of disingenious gatekeeping about what does or doesn't count as a Neurodivergent Experience.

secondly, because it can be so tenuous anyway to settle on what is or isn't exactly being othered for mental conditions. we know that someone who knows of your diagnoses dropping an r-slur on you would be unambiguously that, but what about, say, all the ways that bullying kids for "being weird" often surgically targets autistic people, while seldom coming from people who do realize that the people they're targeting are in fact autistic?

and thirdly, because of how contextual these things can be. like, in school I've always been the Other because of my mind, but when I'm posting shit here on Tumblr, I'm really just one of yall, am I not? and sure, here we're all deranged weirdos anyway, but like -- are anxiety disorders more "normal" in a group of ambulance drivers than in a group of bored socialites? is depression more "normal" in a group of social workers than in a group of athletes? is autism more "normal" in IT than in a marketing studio?

so at the end of the day there are still a lot of open-ended questions I'm beholding here, but the one thing I feel I can take away for sure from these ruminations is that Neurotypical, in the way we've defined it, is almost certainly a chimera.

[pattysplaceofplaces]

Idea: Y/N(preferably female) as a new teacher at VILE and immediately students and staff alike are talking about her. Like, she's just so beautiful! Some people are even freaked out because she just looks so unreal. Let's just say that Y/N's used to people commenting on her appearance because thats all people care to talk about when she also really smart and kind. What would it look like if Maelstrom had feelings for her?

Enchantress

Professor Maelstrom x Fem Reader

[Author’s Note: Is it bad this got me out of my writer’s block haha?

Also book idea: Maelstrom escapes prison and lives his evil life alone until he adopts a child in need. His morals get a bit better but once a villain always a villain.]

     Finally. Alone. Gunnar wasn’t the most sociable with people and his patience ran thin with all the failed missions lately. Yet now, it was the least of his worries. He stared at the Jellyfish swimming calmly in their wall-sized tank but that couldn’t ease his rushing mind like usual. 

He was no fool, he studied human psychology and habits religiously. Gunnar even used to be a therapist. He let out a sigh of frustration as his upper half leaned on his table. “Out of all the people it had to be me?” He grumbled to himself, “Out of all the people why am I in love?” It was embarrassing to think out loud. That an evil genius like himself was being played by love like a puppet. 

He stood up and went to his shelf, crouching down to the filing cabinet below and grabbing a specific manilla folder. 

Gunnar knew it probably wouldn’t be good for his mind to go through it once again but he had to know why he liked you so much. 

The moment he opened it he was greeted to your picture. You were a few years younger than him yet you rivaled Aphrodite with your beauty. Maybe it was no coincidence you were his first love, with your looks you could very well be a vampire or maybe even a succubus. With the way you could charm a whole island he really wouldn’t be surprised. 

Reading your story once more was always interesting. Y/n L/n, a wealthy woman created and governed many charity organizations. Things started to change as those you worked with seemed more eager to pocket the money and mistreat the people your organizations were supposed to benefit. Then you were fired from your own company and you snapped. You realized the hard way that this world was a cruel place, it was easier being the villain and caring for villains. 

Your story was tragic yet he was happy with the way things turned out. You were the only faculty member that didn’t annoy him in some way. Sweet and considerate yet very capable. 

A knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts with a grunt of annoyance. Usually Bellum and Brunt would simply barge into his room when they needed something so the one knocking on his door was either Cleo or you. 

“Enter.” He spoke clearly as he put your file away and readjusted his posture. 

Gunnar won the bittersweet lottery because it was you who knocked upon his door. “Good evening Gunnar, I hope this isn’t a bad time.” You entered the room with your hands folded, face showing a delicate expression of kindness. “It’s never a bad time my dear, how may I be of service?” 

You walked up to him, each step clicking against the hard floor. “The others want to hold a faculty and we need to take a vote about other recent matters.” You haven’t apart of VILE for very long, barely a month yet you always handled business quite well. 

“Thank you for alerting me, I’ll be there shortly.” You nodded with an understanding smile. “Take your time you seem a bit dazed.” With that you turned on your heel and left him in his room alone. 

What an enchantress you were.

[scarecrowdrugs]

Shivers Scarecrow Lore

Backstory mostly takes cues from Year One, along with Masters of Fear. He’s got trust issues cause of it, to say the least.

Roughly mid to late 40s by the time Damian’s been established as Robin

Semi-closeted bisexual. He’s someone who went to school in the Deep South in the 80s/90s and he was raised by a great grandmother who would absolutely have killed him if he ever outed himself. Jonathan knows how dangerous it was to be a bisexual man back in the day. It’s mostly unknown to the regular public, but somewhat known to some of the Rogues.

Grew up with a fairly thick Georgia accent, but he started training it out once he moved to Gotham, mostly due to a combo of people making assumptions about him due to it and because he really doesn’t want people digging into his history in Arlen. It’s mostly undetectable nowadays, but it will slip out if you get him flustered or annoyed enough.

He’s never gotten a formal diagnosis, but he’s been fairly certain since college that he’s autistic. Some of his stims include leg tapping, finger snapping, pen clicking, and hand flapping (usually only if he gets really excited). Some of his special interests include old medical journals, antique medical equipment, and book collecting.

Former psychology professor at Gotham University, with a healthy amount of published work. The question of whether or not citing his work is actually ethical is a common safety concern.

He’s not an actual licensed therapist, but he occasionally poses as one for the research opportunity. He’s actually managed to recruit at least two people as his henchmen this way.

He’s (sort of) a dad! I mean, murdering your mom and her husband and then impulsively stealing your half-sister counts, right? In his defense, he actually made an effort with Clarice. Kinda.

For all his many, many faults as a person, he’s genuinely grown to love Clarice. Yes, he killed her mother. Yes, she’s stabbed him in the gut once. All that being said, going after her is an absolute guarantee that you’re going to get butchered by the Scarecrow. As far as he’s concerned, that’s his little girl.

Absolute epitome of violent devotion. Unconditional love is something that he didn’t realize he was capable of or being shown. He’s a man who’s just learnt the concept of having actual human attachments and it’s resulted in him leaving claw marks in everyone he loves. Having Jonathan Crane in your life comes with the knowledge that he will kill anyone just to keep you safe.

That being said, he’s still one of the more dangerous Rogues for a reason. He doesn’t have that many hard limits with who he targets, and he’s definitely going to go out of his way to ruin your life if he feels like he’s been slighted.

Jonathan is a fairly okay cook if he actually wants to make an effort, but he’s usually too busy with research to remember to feed himself. He’s usually at his healthiest when he has someone else to feed. The man does make a pretty damn good potato soup.

Completely unironic enjoyer of shitty gas station coffee; we’re talking the absolute worst, most burnt coffee you can find. If it doesn’t come in a shitty Styrofoam cup, he ain’t interested.

He’s usually on fairly good terms with Riddler, Mad Hatter, and Harley, with the former being the one he’s on the best terms with. Eddie’s his usual go-to in case for a place to stay during emergencies. In Jervis’s case, it’s more of case of wanting to study him like an insect. In Harley’s case, he gets along with her due to briefly having her in his class for a semester back in the Gotham University days.

Scriddler is sort of canon here, albeit not as a romantic relationship. It’s more like a friends with benefits situation, not to mention the fact that Jonathan’s seen how messy Eddie can get when dating someone.

Very tall, we’re talking around 6′6″ tall and he wears lifts in his costume to give himself an extra inch or two in height. it’s all about the Looming, baby!

He enjoys a fairly wide range of musical genres, including bluegrass, outlaw country, swing, gothic rock, and new wave. He’s also a huge David Byrne fan, along with Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. 

Despite his height and general lankiness, he’s way more flexible than most people think. He’s made at least one escape attempt by crawling through an air vent. Not to mention the fact that he’s able to do some Alien: Isolation shit!

Scarecrow isn’t really a separate personality, but he does actively cultivate a different vibe when he’s Full Scarecrow Mode, somewhat similar to the concept of method acting. Everything from the way he talks to the way he walks is a performed action that he’s put intensive work into. He has a very particular gait he uses when actively stalking a person; he tends to start walking on the balls of his feet, really making his footsteps as loud as possible. He’ll also make certain vocalizations, mostly a mixture of soft hisses and a particular Predator-esque click. If he really wants to fuck with someone, he’s bringing out the Blixa Bargeld screams.

Jonathan’s really going for the idea that Scarecrow is something that isn’t quite human, and he’s very proud of the effect this has on people.

[fluorescentpipedream]

Ian Adelaide Mason Pearce - This beauty is actually Langston’s older sibling (only by 2 years) and is the first to be ousted out for their…uniqueness. Lord Albert Pearce has had three sons, none of which he’s been able to deal with much to the dismay and annoyance of many of those around them. Adelaide or Adela, uses Mason as their last name after they were forced to drop Pearce when their father cut them off and stripped them of any title related to the family. Apparently the name Adelaide is actually their great grandmother’s name from their mother side, “She was as elegant as Audrey Hepburn and deserves to be honored”

They are 36, and actually live in the same small village Deacon does, around the corner from his home. Apparently they had come for tea when he had been getting settled, fell in love with the area and had a home built as well, on the other side of the village though, oddly closer to the parish. Guy Buchanan had a tongue in cheek sign made for the yard that says Here There be Faeries Adela introduces themselves to Ali by baking a lavender lemon loaf and comes to visit the first time Deacon brings her (before the yacht incident

Gender fluid, they express their gender as whatever they please, whenever they please. They are bisexual, and prefer women though they have been with both, including Niall a few years ago. Very friendly and genuinely sweet, Adela works primarily as a professional photographer for the royal family, as well as working with Charlotte Moore in Black Moon Cosmetics, I think they do the photos for it though I’m not entirely sure.

Joseph Skinner - While I know Skinner is not his real last name (at least I don’t think so) he takes on the moniker when he joins the Suicide Kings as the lead guitarist, taking over when Wolf steps back into being the lead singer and I’m not entirely sure what happens to Scott. I think he stays in the band as a secondary guitar player but I’m not sure. 

Arthur Noble - Formerly a professor at Brown university he takes a significant pay decrease when he becomes Vice Principal of O Fallon East in Illinois. He does this after seeing how hollow the college age kids are and wants to find a way to help them actually succeed in their future rather than just be another cog in the wheel. Arthur has studied Sociology, Psychology and English Literature, the last was his specialty at Brown. He is kind and genuinely cares about the kids he’s taking care of, similar to Casper he wants to see people succeed and actually have some kind of passion going forward in their lives. He’s recently divorced but still wears his wedding ring, so I don’t think he’s quite ready to let that go. 

Casper Barnes - eldest brother to Elias (who uses their mothers last name, Sharpe, rather than their father’s name) and Cornelius. Casper has a very big heart and seeks to make schools safe for the kids under his care, he feels responsible for each and every one of them and considers what happened with the former vice principal a personal slight in his judgement. He has set O Fallon up to be a test school for new education practices and tries to make sure everyone is getting the best they can possibly get. After his middle brother’s passing he took over as guardian for Lilly though she does better on her own, so he’s there if she needs him for anything but doesn’t force her to live with him. 

Christopher Reigns - Christopher has been around for a while, a former sex addict turned psychiatrist and therapist for the same issues, he currently lives and works in New York City close to the rest of his degenerate family. After the drama with his younger brother Ethan, Christopher takes over taking care of Ethan’s son Tanner and picks up where he left off with Hannah Lee as well. He seems to be one of the few Reigns that has their head on correctly, he went through his trauma and addictions and managed to come out on top of them. 

Eirondyr Thalasane - one of the elves of the Woodland Realm of Murkwood (formerly Brightwood) and also one of Valenduil’s closer friends. He is actually older than Val, formerly being one of those closer to Legolas’ age. When Legolas chose to take his human wife with him to the undying realm, leaving their half-blood son behind in the care of his grandfather, Eirondyr (sometimes called Raine due to one of his spells) promised to keep an eye on him. While older, he acts as though he is still young and doesn’t work so much as a mentor as he does just a comrade.  Eirondyr is an arcanist, practicing arcane magic and a magister of glamour, he will occasionally make his ears disappear so he can travel amongst the world of men. He’s also been known to change the size of certain items, more often than not as a prank. He chooses, when Thranduil makes the proclamation that someone should pick up the quest to help Sara and her group, to go with them and Val, to help them traverse the destruction that is Middle Earth. He has connections to the Hobbits and the world of men as well, in Bard and a mysterious boatsman called The Blackwald (Halfdan)

Gage Robards - Gage’s real name is Gabriel Toussaint, he is the “lost” brother of the Toussaint sisters and has, for the last 10 years or so, been somewhat trapped inside his own mind. I don’t remember exactly what happened to Gage, he was put into a mental hospital by a member of their family and locked away there for something he saw and while there he had electro-shock therapy performed, which caused him to lose his ability to speak. Over the years, he came into the care of Sylvia Summers and is currently living in NYC with her. He has also learned sign language and does some speech therapy but he chooses most times not to speak because his vocal cords have been damaged as well. Gage has some memories of his sisters, and does still want to get back in touch with them. (he was sitting in my head the other day feeding the birds from a loaf of bread in Central Park) 

This creature doesn’t have a name yet, or at least hasn’t given me one yet but he is where the “super soldier serum” behind Project Wildfire comes from. He is actually a Hunter that was captured by the CIA by a former member of the early Section who shared with them what is going on behind the scenes, and told them that taking control of the darkness would mean better survival in the future. The Hunter’s blood has been used to alter and create the soldiers and failed experiments including Drayton and the rest of the hitmen as well as the pyromancer Badger and a handful of others. When Drayton calls on Kristy for her final job with them, they apparently find the ragged creature in a room, spitting all manner of obscenities at them. It’s against Kristy’s warning that they let him go, something that will come back to haunt later, as he makes a bee-line for Cirian wanting to punish humans for what they’ve done to him. 

Adrian Wilde - Professor at Harvard when he meets Crystal Townsend and against his better judgment strikes up an affair with her, he can’t really explain how it happens but he falls for her hard. When she expresses to him her fear in falling in love with him, he cradles her in his arms, combing his fingers through her hair and tells her to fall, he’ll always be there to catch her. Adrian originally wanted to be an author but never managed to make his stories translate into full blown books, instead he teaches creative writing, jokingly saying ‘those who can’t, teach’ but the reality is he is still writing and working on finishing his first book as his and Crystal’s relationship continues. While slightly concerned for the safety of his job while she’s a student, when she turns fully into her music he feels safer being more open about their relationship. 

Aryn Hobb - Aryn is an alien, first and foremost, having been on Earth since the late 90s, or somewhere there abouts, they were recruited into the very earliest form of Section and worked as a scientist for them after being brought in from NASA where they had originally worked as an astrophysicist. Aryn is a sebacean like Maxwell later on and actually is able to help with his assimilation into human culture a bit better (though it helps that Maxwell has actually been on Earth once before, even if it was back in the 1880s) Working for Section has helped Aryn blend in a bit more with the human race, feeling absolutely no desire to return to their people, as they were deemed less than by a tribunal of Commandants. Exile is one of the worst things for their people, as it separates them from their own, and being alone is unhealthy for them. Aryn stole a ship, rather than be cast out from their people and used wormhole technology to warp to this version of Earth C-139 (our earth, it’s apparently not one of the more popular Earths to travel to as it’s technologically inferior to most of the others in the alter-verse) Assuming correctly that they could hide there and because humans and Sebaceans are so closely related to one another, with only internal differences (and lifespan, they can typically live for about 700 years) most people wouldn’t pick up on without getting too intimate. 

When Aryn comes to work for the original Section they are figured out by the medical tech Avery and they come clean out of concern of being used and abused by these humans. Instead they find friends there and take a special interest in both Avery and later Justice. Aryn uses their knowledge of weaponry to create a brand new arsenal of weapons and “toys” used by Justice and the rest of the teams. In particular the holo-training lab and more recently some very interesting explosives. Outside of Section, Aryn has a very normal life, they have an apartment with a cat given to them by Justice’s friend Adriana, and spend their downtime with a small handful of friends. Generally they identify as non-binary, as it’s easier to explain their appearance, though their voice is incredibly deep. 

@musesnotebook

[seroothincs]

Do you have any headcanons for Legs? If not, then that’s okay <:)

Oh you better believe I have headcanons, especially for a man like Legs. He's pretty mysterious and doesn't say a lot which gives me the pleasure to make stuff up about him based on the little things we do know from the show. Legs is mysterious, very, he ain't saying nothin, he ain't trustin nobody and the only people he talks to are his close friends. And some of these headcanons are:

Now it's obvious that both him and Louie have been friends with Tony since childhood but I believe, what happened before they met, Legs had his own gang and would usually terrorize other students on the playground of the same catholic school the three were all attending. And one day when Tony witnessed what Legs and his team were doing to a kid, he realized the talent that this young boy has and so he asked if Legs would join his junior mafia. Legs said no at first but after he realized who Tony was the son of, he decided to give the junior mafia a try and what followed after was a long and tight friendship. (I will write a huge origin story one day, with thoughts and my own imagination at play. Because if the writers are not gonna do it then I'll do it myself)

In "Homie the clown" he said that he saw four krustys even after he rubbed his eyes to see straight, (Even though there were only two krustys) which makes me think that he could possibly be short sighted and therefore would wear glasses. Though he doesn't at times when he's at work because according to himself, "No person would ever be afraid of a mobster with glasses." But he does wear them while he's at home.

We obviously know he has a son named "Calves" who appeared in the comics along with Louie's son and Michael. But I choose to see that as non-canon (Since he only came up once in comics, counting as his only appearance and the show never hints to Legs's son), yeah Calves is cute but I don't really see him being Legs's son. Who I do see as his daughter would be Piper from Bossy riot in "Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy", she has the same level of mischievousness as Calves does and is pretty extreme in her pranks. She's obviously Legs's daughter, with the way she's already in a sort of gang like friendgroup like Legs once was in his early childhood. (But I admit, calves could also exist in the real show. Though he would be the child of Legs's ex-wife, they divorced because of an affair he went through and so he sort of lost custody over Calves. Calves was also like 2 years old when that happened.) - Despite being so mysterious, he's actually the most kindest of the bunch. And he has been ever since childhood, his usual rambunctious demeanor was just for show and not tell what lies underneath him. But I do admit, he was more wild as a young kid than he is now. That likely changed due to his age but he is more calmer and friendlier than his childhood counterpart. He's the type of guy you can always wend yourself to if you have any problems and he also works as a sort of therapist for the other members, seeing as he has a degree in Psychology that he studied for as a second profession if his plans didn't go through in college. (he's a smart man, like I said)

Now Johnny Tightlips is a capo and Frankie is a soldier, Tony is the underboss and Don vittorio is the actual boss. Other mobsters we see are genuinely just soldiers or associates. Which leaves Louie and Legs to be uncategorized, And they're not really caporegimes either since there's already Johnny, Lefty and Righty in that position. Mafia's usually have three or four capos but I still choose to see Legs and Louie not as such, it just doesn't make sense. They started out with Tony as a small gang with only themselves to trust, it would have made sense if those two were capos back then since the gang was still small and struggling in the east end but as time flew by and more joined, Louie and Legs decided to step down from their capo positions to make room for Lefty and Righty, two more experienced capo's. And so they would stand back and just be hit-men, still involved in Tony's plans and operations.

Their friendship with Tony is what brings me to this conclusion, as capo's they had to spend most of their time outside on the streets with their soldiers, not even being close to Tony. So after Lefty and Righty joined, the two reduced themselves to being hit-men and bodyguards of Tony so that they could stay closer by his side and to protect him. Which would even make sense in reality since the two were never stated to be capo's, in the book Chief Wiggum's Book of Crime and Punishment, Legs is classified as the "Hired Goon" And the police records on the Springfield Mafia describe Legs as a "Gangster/Criminal/Suspicious" type of mobster. It wouldn't make sense for them to be capo's if they are so closely connected with Tony.

You know, Legs is very accompanied with the yakuza and other japanese mafias in springfield and the U.S.A so I feel like he knows a bit of japanese to talk with them. And he probably took karate when he was young.

Apparently in the Simpsons: Tapped out game Legs has 172 swiss army knives and he can't pay his rent because of that, which makes me think that he's got a serious problem. But hey, the man loves knives.

what He also mentioned in Tapped out was that he got a Master's in Fiscal Studies which makes me think Since he's an experienced mob doctor like Tony himself said

(Look at his cute ass smile when Tony mentions the slug, that is the smile of a son whose Father is telling other relatives about his talents) Which got me thinking. Okay so he went to college for two different reasons

He prolly studied another subject if his career as a doctor didn't go as planned. He's a pretty smart dude but still manages to fall for pranks set by other people, including Bart's. (One example is in the hilarious "Homie the clown" when Krusty asked to go the bathroom but actually left the country in reality, Legs said "When He's done in there, I gotta go" (Oh Legs, you sweet innocent man)

We don't even know his real name other than he's known as "Legs" because he's tall? And it can't be Max Legman 'cuz that just sounds like a child made it up, it's probably just an alias he uses when checking into hotels or telling girls in the nightclub to keep his cover. ( He's also shown to be quite the party animal seeing as he has appeared in some scenes like "Homerazzi" and "Flaming Moe's". Man likes to have fun.)

We know he has a slouched back and poor posture, which leaves some options for why it became that way. Maybe a injury to his spine or a disease that formed in his early childhood. I personally believe it could be Scheuermann's Kyphosis that caused his figure to turn out that way, it formed in his early childhood and when he was taken to the doctors because of it they advised for him a back brace since he was still a child and growing. His parents couldn't afford that, neither could they get physical therapy for him, they just barely could get money for pain medication to at least have their son in not all so much pain. But nowadays he got the needed Money to get physical therapy so that his condition isn't gonna get any worse.

I feel like he likes to listen to classical Italian music, opera especially, he's a big fan of Renata Tebaldi and Andrea Bocelli. Though his musical taste often gets in the way of Louie's whenever they are driving in the car, always arguing about what to put on. And sometimes even Tony gets caught in between their squabble, forcing the three to often drive around just sitting in silence.

His favorite dessert is Panna cotta. Which he usually orders when he, Louie, Johnny, Frankie and Tony go to La Coffee Nostra for some afternoon tea break from their work. - he's a professional pool player, just try and challenge him to a match, in the end you will only leave with a broken spirit. - He's honestly such a women magnet, not because it's his manners and ways of treating ladies but because it's also of his looks. (Man's got a good fashion taste) Each time he enters a new club all the ladies just swarm him and treat him to a drink. He often leaves clubs with lipstick marks all over his face. - Since he's the tallest out of everyone in the family, he likes to pick on Frankie and Louie who are the shortest of the bunch. They know it's all just fun and jokes but even they can get annoyed by Legs. Especially when he bends his knees to get down on their eye level to talk with them. Now these are just some of my many headcanons about it, Made for my own enjoyment.

[jitterbugjive]

Oh. That's much better. I never liked the changeling research thing, it felt pretty squick and also pretty malicious. I had no idea you basically had nothing to do with it so I'll apologize for thinking you did. It really didn't fit well with your stuff. Can you tell me who Slate has relationships with in your stuff so I don't mix it up with fanon stuff I thought was yours please?

He and Rorschach (now Ink Blot) were an item BEFORE the changeling research facility plot was made by someone else, so the versions of him and Slate in that changeling timeline are alternate versions of the characters.

I haven't shown much with the OG timeline Slate, he hasn't really gotten many asks on my character blog so there's a lot people don't know about him and he was answering questions in a time before he and Ink Blot become a thing.

Before that, Slate would go on the prowl at bars to look for one night stands. One of these one night stands was Randy, actually.

This Slate has wealthy parents who adopted him and let him live on the estate in his own separate house which is borderline mansion, and he has a sister with that family as well but I've never actually shown his new family members.

He pushed his real father to suicide and his paint family disowned him, so he went through the foster care system for a while and would try to see what he could get away with manipulating his different families in various ways which would always end in him needing to be relocated. At one point he tried to experiment sexually with a filly that was his age, but he ended up having a PTSD reaction and strangled her, not killing her but she went to the police about it and he was arrested. A deal was made for him to stay out of jail by agreeing to mandatory therapy sessions, which set him on a more straight and narrow path. Not because he suddenly had a moral compass, but because his therapist convinced him that he should make a game of doing the best thing.

His therapist was this guy, Kratom

During that time he was adopted by his current family which he found to be ideal so he didn't try to mess with them and just let himself be comfortable as he went on to study psychology and eventually become an intern at a mental ward.

There aren't a whole lot of characters I have that relate to him specifically besides Ink Blot, and his sons Pepper and Salty who he has with Ink Blot way later.

[hidiustd]

i've had a tough week at uni, i'm still taking final papers and exams. not finished yet, but i went back and watched the series and fragments and i have a question what's going on in yargi?

i'm not taking this study out anymore, so here's a few words about what i think of the latest developments in this series.

ceylin. she is my comfortable character, my favorite character and in general i just love to think about her personality and actions. her attempt to send parla abroad and lie to ilgaz is not the best decision she could have made. but i am not going to judge her for that. i don't condone her, but i do understand. somewhere in episode 10 she talks about the way she is: choosing what seems right and beneficial to her at the time; not wanting to be judged for those choices. she thinks about the future and says something like "i won't stop, he won't change. trouble will knock on our doors again and we can't handle it". that's exactly what's happening now.

i don't agree that her character has no development. ceylin has never received professional psychological help in all her time. if you have never dealt with psychological problems, then i can only congratulate you. sometimes people cannot change just because they want to. sometimes it takes years of work with a therapist. ilgaz is very good, but he is not a universal pill that can cure all of ceylin's psychological problems just by love. that is not how it works.

ceylin has a huge amount of trauma related to family. she became the backbone of this family very early on, working 2 jobs to support inji's studies. being the sister of a mother who lost a child. replacing the mother for parla. and replacing the father for them all. she is not separated from her family. she cannot say "no" to them and is willing to give them everything, even at the cost of her own life and marriage.

her family is manipulative. aylin blackmailed ceylin with her own suicide. everyone remember ceylin's breakdown in the middle of the night when she thought her mother wasn't breathing? i was once blackmailed with the death of a family member too, it has a nightmarish effect on a person.

ceylin tried to do what she thought was right. how others react to her action is their decision. life is not a straight line. the show needed this situation because you can't hide the problem under kisses and hugs, even though they are sincere, and think it will go away on its own. they have to figure it out.

me personal opinion: teenagers should be held accountable. they are involved in drug trafficking, mafia activities, and eventually murder. it's time for them to think about what they are doing.

opinion #2: the adults should answer as well. the idiots who took the lynching. even if they went to serdar, they could have called the police a hundred times on the way. they could have called the police and ambulance later. but yes, team cleanup after the murder is clearly better.

i am sad for both ilgaz and ceylin. they are very unlucky with their families.

yekta. my favorite annoying yekta. sooner or later karma will catch up with him. he might be the victim from the 6 month arc.

yekta's son is very strange, i don't have an opinion on him yet.

pars and derya. i really liked pars wedding proposal. it's a very beautiful monologue and far from corny as i expected. that scene is very nice, really. waiting very much for their wedding.

that's it for now. i'm really looking forward to the episode on sunday and hope i can watch it live. i'll get back to writing "1095 days for you" in the new year, now i have absolutely no resources for either the fluff of the first chapters or the angst of the last one.

enjoy the show. discussions are great (it means sema and the whole team are doing a good job and we have something to discuss), but don't take it personally. i believe everything will be solved. thanks for reading it, btw.

[oneangstymotherfucker]

Heavy TW for csa mention

Bit drunk rn but whomsoever needs to hear it:

Horny fantasies are normal. Most people think about "cnc", its one of te most common fa tasies. I've talked to MULTIPLE therapists about everything. if you read my porn on ao3 u know. But its "bad"- everything from.minors to violence to death. And every one of my therapists- before rhey even knew about my fucki g trauma- said that it was normal. That being into whack shit like incest, being a "kid" when it happens, lolis, shotas, abuse, nc,- all of it - didn't really matter. What matters is what you do irl, full stop.

Because the thing is I studied psychology. I went to college for it And because of my ocd and fhe fucked up shit my daddy did to me i had to fucking know why he did it and to know FOR SURE that i wouldnt do it so i sudied and i did literal years of research, not just reading actual psychological studies but also talking to people. I sought out the people you antis think are too gross and too bad to be alive and i talked to them and i learned. I read stidies and.i learned.

Some people are attracted to kids. That's part of the venn diagram of "who hurts kids" but its not the whole fucking thing. And even if you think they all deserve to die or whatever, theres still the matter of stopping the hurt, right? If that's actually what you care about amd not just some ego-stroking witch hunt. If you actually care then you HAVE to face the whole fucking venn diagram. because im sick to DEATH of people who never been hurt say its all one "kind of people" like a fucking nz and then act fucking flabbergasted when its someones good christian fucking dad who never looked twice at a kid amd theyre like "we wish we would have.known" well yeah fuckers you would have known if you actually listened and cared about the situation and not just about looking holy.

(AS A VICTIM I KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BEING FAKE WHEN YOU ARE DOING IT JUST FOR YOUR OWN SAKE I KNOW WHEN YOU REALLY CARE AJD WHEN YOU WOULD LEAVE KIDS LIKE I WAS IN THE DUST BECAUSE YOU HATE ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THE PAIN YOU THINK ITS A PLAGUE THAT SPREADS AND THAT ANYONE WHO TOUCHED IT IS DIRTYY YOU THINK IF YOU RUN FAST ENOUGH AND.HATE HARD ENOUG IT WON'T AFFECT YOU ABD YOU WILL GET INTO SOME FAKE HEAVEN THATS EVEN BEYTER THAN THE KIDHOOD I WAS ROBBED OF WHEN MY DAD DECIDED TO RAPE ME).

So if you really care AT LEAST know this.

It is a venn diagram.

Just like adult assault, right?

Some of it is 'passion driven' or whatever the fuck you want to call it. But MOST assault isnt about attraction.

Most people dont want to tryly hurt what they love. Im sorry if you think otherwise.

People who hurt others (regardless of age) usually aren't hurting them becasue they "love them so much". Trust me i spent years wishing that it was just because my dad loved me a little too much in the wrong way.

But it wasn't.

He hurt me because he was insecure, impatient. Because i was a vulnerable and weak six year old with no one else to trust and no where else to go. He wasn't a pedophile. He was just a guy who had a real hard time seeing others as humans. Maybe because of Pearl Harbor. Maybe because he was a ginger scorpio idfc. He felt fucked and so he decided to.take it out on tbe weakest person he could. HE MADE THE ACTIVE DECISION. Because he is a shit person. And thats the thing yall dont act like its a decision. (You are thr ones romanticizing it, as if i seduced him or he gradually decided he "needed to have me"-no. He woke up one day and DECIDED AS AN ADULT TO HURT HIS SIX YESR OLD KID.)

If you're so scared people are just avoiding fucking up kids by not thinkinv about it too much i have QUESTIONS FOR YOU actually. To hurt someone isnt.tje default, no matter what you feel about somone

You have to actively decide to hurt someone and go through with it. Dont listen to your ocd.

Funny enough thats where your eroticization argument comes from. A non-map person decided to fuck a kid, so they gotta get it up enough, so they think about that that kid in particular over and over so they can stomach it. Because they couldn't otherwise.

If you read any psych essays about sex you would know that.

So he did that i guess. How do i guess? How do i guess he wasn't a pedo?

Because he hated me. Because he barely ever paid me any mind. Because i wished he would just look at me, see me as a person, for years. Because kids stjll need thejr dads.

He once said he was amazed how me and.all my five other siblings had different personalities.

Because he put a fucking sheet over my head while he did it over and over so.he.wouldnt have to look at me.

I was just a weak.easy target to him. Nothing more at all. He never loved me, never even cared about me as a person.

So anyway ebough about that shit.

I was introduced to sex at six years old. It was scary and hurt and kind of felt good, something you do with family.

And thats still the biggest impression sex has on my mind.

I dont want it like that irl because ive had it irl and it fucekd me up beyond comprehension. And i dont want to get hurt a d i dont want anyone fucking esle to get hurt like.that ever.

But it is to this day one of the only things i can "enjoy." Becaus eas long as im the victim im not hurting anyone right? It is safe and it is.good and it is wajt ive always known!!!! It is the only thing that feels safe, imagining it like that. If somoene actually did love me then.

Amd every fucking one of mytherapists has blinked at me and said, "this is a fantasy you're talking about, right?"

And i, scared for my life and believing i should kms, say, "yes,"

And they've each said "so why are you so upset? It's just a fantasy. Most people have tabboo fantasies, and this one even makes sense for you."

We know what's healthy because its whatever djdnt hurt us. So maybe just step off and worry about yourselves. We aren't "normalizing" anything. "Slippery slope" is a thinking fallacy (hum comm 101) and fantasies have been fucking normal since day one (hum psy 101), and the people reading fucjing anime fics aren't the ones hurting kids (ethics 101, hum psy 101).

You can be a little uncomfortable. Being squicked wont kill you. Just block and move the fuck along.

It's not for you. Move along. And stop fucking coming.at the people you say you want to protect. It looks fucking cheap.

Also also also people dont owe you an explanation of their trauma or to have had/remember/feel definded by it. people can be into anything amd gues what, jts none of your buisness. Why are antis such pervs? jesus fuckinv christ.

[naegashutyoassup]

“2 Baddies” may not be the best song they’ve ever made, but the only thing I loved was the fact that I was able to feel happier without having to force it upon myself just to listen to it.

(CW // slight vent and health update)

Although the demons are still in my head, it’s coming up less frequent than usual. I’m proud that I’m able to now see K-pop as less of a chore, but this fight is far from over. Mentally, I’m alright now, but their message still haunts me at night as I would constantly think to myself if I deserve the title “Shawol” or not. I’m still kinda into SHINee, but it’s more in the writing side of things. I don’t really listen to them very much, but I could see myself still drawing Jonghyun and practicing self esteem exercises with myself. I have a friend who is doing psychology in college in hopes of being a therapist or a psychologist for young people and old. He wanted to practice with me so he could have a better understanding on how emotions work and things that he could do to help me. He has been helping going through the tough strings of my mental health regarding Jonghyun’s (you know what) alongside with the cyber bullying that took place at about in between Early-Mid 2020 (March-August) and August 2022. He taught me how to remind myself every single day that whenever I get into a mindset that makes me feel like I cannot do anything but end my life, I should consider thinking about what Jonghyun would say if he was standing right in front of me. Would remind me that he may had possibly went through something similar to me in terms of how I’m feeling mentally unlike our own experiences.

“He wouldn’t want you to go the same route, do you think?” We had been mutuals for few months, but gotten together ever since this situation turned for the worse mentally. He has been studying me and finding ways to better help me in times like this. He was even the one to suggest post goals or anything K-pop related I did or seen — no matter how big or small it is, I shall show my authenticity to you guys to show how much I’ve changed and recovered well.