#i went to bed at 7am this morning and woke up at 11 so that was my sleep for the last two days. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

currytantou · 5 months

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[translation] – Mankai Channel vol 2 Natsugumi Ban drama track also x-posted on my wordpress blog

do not use my translations to create subtitled video or base it for re-translation to other languages. linking is permitted but do not copy paste whole blog content. sharing partial screenshot for fangirl/boying purposes is acceptable (with link back or credit).

0:01 Tenma: Ready? All: Blo-bloo-blooming! Tenma: Hello eve- Kumon: Hello guys! Misumi: Thank you for watching! Tenma: This time- Kazunari: It’s Summer Troupe’s turn this time! Misumi: Spring Troupe’s episode last time was fun, right? Kazunari: We played that game in the dorms, didn’t we? Tenma: Don’t say hello all at once! Ehem. Starting over. I’m Sumeragi Tenma, the leader of the Summer Troupe. Thanks for tuning in to Summer Troupe’s episode, following the previous episode with Spring Troupe. Yuki: Thank you. Muku: Thanks for having us! Kazunari: Summer Troupe’s plan is “morning routine”! Kumon: We had various plans in mind, right? Playing games like Spring Troupe, no-foreign-words-challenge, and ghost prank! Misumi: Tenma won the rock-paper-scissors! Muku: Tenma-kun’s spirit when he played rock-paper-scissors was amazing! Yuki: Especially when he wanted to avoid the last option; the ghost prank~ Tenma: Shut up! Kazunari: That said, each and every member’s morning situation was recorded on camera so let’s check them out at once~!

1:11 Tenma: First, it’s me. I woke up at 6am on this day. I woke up earlier than usual because I had a shooting. Muku: Tenma-kun barely had bed hair on him. Yuki: His usual hairstyle pretty much looks like bed hair anyway. Tenma: What are you trying to imply? Misumi: Oh, he’s taking care of *UneUne-kun. (literal meaning: zigzag) Kumon: Huh, who? Yuki: His bonsai, I think? Tenma: This is a white pine. Apparently, it is 20 years old. It’s about time to cut its old leaves. Kazunari: It took several years to reach this form, right? What a fine bonsai~ Tenma: Once I’m done cutting bonsai, I’d have some plain hot water in the kitchen. It’s Azami’s recommendation and I find myself in a good condition when I do that. Yuki: Hm? Guess I should try that too. Tenma: After that I did morning workout. As recommended by Tasuku-san. Kumon: You do everything that’s recommended! Tenma: I would try anything good for my body. Misumi: Like a grandpa. Tenma: Uh, it’s granted for an actor to take care of his health. Kazunari: A body is an actor’s asset! Tenma: After I’m done with breakfast, Igawa picked me up by car and I went to shoot for magazines. Muku: Igawa-san always comes punctually. Tenma: He’s a reliable manager. Yuki: It’s unusual for him to praise someone. Kumon: Maybe Igawa-san would cry if he saw this video..?

2:36 Yuki: Next is me. On this day, I woke up at 7am as usual. I think I slept at 10pm the previous day..? Kazunari: Yukki washes his face thoroughly! Yuki: Recently, I’ve been using this facial cleanser. I like how it is hypoallergenic and creates plenty of foams. Misumi: That reminds me, Azami told us to wash with lots of foams. Muku: I wanna see how Yuki-kun washes his face. Yuki: I switched face lotion to this one, after sticking to the same brand for a while. Recently, I feel like my skin type has changed and after discussing with Azami, he suggested that I use one for sensitive skin. So far so good, I guess? Kumon: Can skin type change? Yuki: I suppose you can tell if you look at it everyday? Misumi: What is ‘skin type’? Yuki: You should start from there and learn through Azami. Kazunari: I wanna ask him for some suggestions too. I should ask Azamin skincare tips later! Tenma: Sounds good. I wanna ask him what my skin type is too. Yuki: Once I’m done washing my face, I get prepared and wear my school uniform. Kumon: You’ve made preparation for school, eh? Yuki: I made sure to do that the day before. Misumi: Yuki is so firm~ Yuki: Then, I’d have breakfast and check fashion related news and think of any designs, I guess? Muku: Is it easier to brainstorm design ideas in the morning? Yuki: Maybe. I sometimes come up with a better idea the next morning even though I was stuck yesterday. Kazunari: Perhaps, your brain thinks of it while you are sleeping. Kumon: I wish I could memorise English vocabularies while I’m sleeping~

4:15 Kazunari: Next, let’s check out my morning routine~! I woke up at 9am! I woke up a little late on this day because I stayed up to make it to the deadline. After waking up, I spent time idly on bed and scrolling through SNS, replied to comments, checked out what’s trending.. Yuki: Hurry and get up. Muku: Kazu-kun takes it easy in the morning. Kumon: Like it takes a while to get the engine heats up in the morning? Kazunari: Maybe~ Then I dressed up and prepared my bag for college. Tenma: So many different gadgets. Misumi: Kazu’s bag is like a magical pocket. Kazunari: Recently, I’ve been carrying around this portable charger and mobile monitor! These are freaking convenient for quick work outdoor and online meetings. When I told Itarun, he immediately started using ‘em. Also, these are my favourite noise cancelling wireless earphones! I’ve tried others but for me, this works best. And, a smart watch! Although I don’t keep it in my bag. These are the gadgets that I carry around. Tenma: I’ve been contemplating on getting this smart watch. Kazunari: I totally recommend this! It’s much better than the previous release so you should buy it now! Tenma: Hmm. Show me that later. Kumon: Kazu-san knows a lot, you’re so cool!~ Muku: It’s best to ask Kazu-kun when it comes to gadgets. Misumi: These videos were recorded using the camera lent by Kazu. Kazunari: It has good image stabilisation and spot on waterproofing. Easy to use, right?

5:56 Muku: My turn next, right? Uh..I woke up at 7am on this day. I washed my face and changed…Sorry that it’s way too ordinary! Tenma: It’s odd to apologise for being ordinary. Kazunari: Mukkun’s dailies are systematic. Muku: I had spanish omelette and freshly baked walnut bread for breakfast on this day. As I ate, I talked about newly released shoujo manga with Sakyo-san and Azu nee-san…. Yuki: The latter half is nothing ordinary though. Kumon: What kind of shoujo manga? Muku: A girl who has been living under oppression of her family meets the son of a distinguished family who runs a sports gym. She starts to workout and solves all problems with muscles. It’s a really interesting success story! Tenma: The second half is way too unexpected! Yuki: Some of Muku’s favourite shoujo manga are quirky… Kazunari: But it makes you curious to know more! I kinda wanna read it! Muku: I’ll lend it to you later. I did other stuff before I left the dorms, but I watched tv with Juu-chan on this day. They happened to broadcast a coverage on sweets. Yuki: Right, you two were glued to the tv. Muku: We planned to check out the chocolate ice cream shown on that program.

7:20 Misumi: Next is me. Yuki: Where is this place? Outside? Misumi: Rooftop. On this day, I said my morning greeting to a cat that I’m friendly with, and I joined the cat’s meeting. Kumon: Cat meeting! Wahahaha! So many cats! That’s cool!! Tenma: You’re doing this first thing first in the morning? Kazunari: As expected, he blends in with the cats. Muku: What do you do in the cat meeting? Misumi: We talked about so many things. Neighbourhood’s rumours, notices about stray cats, info about homes that give away food or any problems. On this day, *Kuroneko-san ranted how it can’t walk past its usual passage. (lit: black cat) So I went to help it. Tenma: So? Where is this place? Misumi: The passage that Kuroneko-san strolls by. Kazunari: Looks like a cat’s documentary footage. Muku: It’s interesting, since it’s a view we usually don’t see. Yuki: You’re breaking the expectation of a morning routine in many ways. Kumon: Ah! What jumped against the wall just now?! Misumi: See? I removed the trash thrown in this narrow passage. And I found a beautiful triangle here so I picked it up. Yuki: That’s how he picks triangles, huh? Tenma: I had no idea. Misumi: I cleaned the triangle with water at the park and made it to the dorm for breakfast time. Kazunari: Sumi had such an adventure before he joined for breakfast~ Muku: That is so dramatic!

9:00 Kumon: Finally, it’s my turn! I usually wake up at 6am! I had time to go for a run with nii-chanand Tasuku-san! Yuki: So much energy first thing in the morning. Kumon: After running, I practised swinging in the yard! Tenma: That’s way too much energy! Misumi: Looks fun~ Kumon: Sumi-san should join me next time! We can do karate with Guy-san! Misumi: Let’s do that! Muku: It feels good to move your body in the morning~ I feel refreshed when I start my day with running. Kumon: Yes, yes! I’m in good condition throughout the day!~ After practising swinging, I did some light squats and showered before having breakfast! Yuki: Now I know why you’re always fussing about being hungry in the morning. Tenma: Of course you’d get hungry if you move this much. Kazunari: Kumopi, you’re so healthy! Kumon: I’d brush my teeth after breakfast and I would check out the English vocabs app before I left the dorms. Muku: A test is coming up soon. Misumi: Kumon, that’s admirable. Kumon: I forgot I was supposed to be early ‘cus I was on duty on this day. I hurriedly left and dashed to school! Tenma: Running again? Yuki: His energy has no limits.

10:09 Tenma: That wraps up Summer Troupe’s morning routine. But is it interesting for them to watch these videos footage..? Kazunari: With the variations of morning routine, I suppose it is interesting~ Yuki: I thought the content would be pretty much the same but our routines are much more different than expected. Kumon: The cat’s meeting was fun! Misumi: It’s interesting to me, knowing what you guys are doing in the morning. Muku: I think Yuki-kun’s skincare tips and Kazu-kun with his gadgets are useful! Tenma: Well, I’m glad if this makes the audience happy. That said, do look forward to Autumn Troupe’s episode next. Kazunari: If you enjoyed it, please like and subscribe to the channel! Misumi: Bye bye~

Thank you for reading! <3 - curry

#a3!#natsugumi #sumeragi tenma #ikaruga misumi #miyoshi kazunari #hyodo kumon #sakisaka muku #rurikawa yuki #curry translates

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annakie · 2 years

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Four Hours and Fifteen Minutes

I cannot put into words how normal today was until about 11:15 this morning.

Fry woke me up, mostly, around 6am. I also needed to pee, so I got up, then went back to bed. Fry kept being annoying, so I didn't really sleep that last hour, and eventually I sat up and browsed Reddit. Fry started being EXTRA annoying, telling me every few seconds that I needed to get up and feed them, so I put on my headphones and played music, especially when Leela started joining in the chorus from the living room. They don't get fed until after 7am, or they start expecting it earlier and earlier.

Later, as I was still sitting up browsing, Leela jumped up onto the bed. She occasionally comes and visits in the bedroom since it's opened up after Patchy died in August, but rarely stays long. She didn't stay long this time either, but for about five minutes she walked around me, and I petted her a bunch as she did. She hopped back down and headed to her bed on my desk, between one monitor and my computer, a bed on a heated mat on fairly low heat.

Always in the back of my mind now, especially the last two months, is a reminder that I almost lost her in April, 2021. Since then she's been on borrowed time, when the emergency vet brought her back around when one of her kidneys started failing and got infected. She's only had one working one since, and her blood levels have started inching up in bad kidney-related ways. So the last two months she's been on a pretty strict diet of low-phosphorous food.

Tomorrow, I reminded myself, she had a vet appointment to get those levels checked. I was hoping for a good report, though she does still get her treats, and sometimes sneaks off to eat Fry and Pemily's not-low-phosphorous food. Still, she's been happy and energetic the last two months and I had very little to report.

Eventually I got up, fed the Outside cats (still working on making them inside cats), grabbed a small handful of their food, sprinkled some on the floor to make Fry hunt for it. Opened the bedroom door. He, Pemily and Leela ran in. Fry ran to his hunting spot while I called Leela and Pemily to follow me back to the Office.

Leela got about six pieces of the junk food, Pemily got about twice that. I grabbed Leela's water bowl and now-empty-except-for-crusties food bowl and Pemily's little water bowl, along with my Yeti mug.

Leela yelled for food as soon as she finished her few pieces of kibble. I opened a new can of her food and spooned out over half of it into a clean food dish, filled the two small water bowls with cold, filtered water from the Brita, and walked back to the desk.

I set Pemily's water bowl down first, and Leela headed for it, before I called her back over to her own bowl of cool water and plate of food. She ate, ravenously, and drank her cool water with gusto. I headed back to the kitchen, filled my Yeti with ice, refilled the ice tray, poured water.

A little while later I made coffee and a bagel, Leela had almost finished her food and wanted the remainders smooshed so she could eat it better, I smooshed it.

A little while after that she was about done and calling for more food, loudly. So I went back and put the rest of the food from the 3.3oz can in the dish, knowing she wouldn't quite finish it. That's fine, Pemily or Fry could have it before I got Leela's dinner that evening.

I was right, she only ate about half of the remainders of the food. Whatever.

At 10:30 I had a meeting. I had to tell Leela to shush a time or two and apologize for her friendly talkative nature. I also told my boss about the vet appointment the next morning. He asked if everything was OK. Yeah, I said, probably! Just a check on her blood levels, since she only has one working kidney. She's old, almost 18, but aside from that, she's doing great. Hopefully we'll get a good report tomorrow!

I stopped Pemily from eating Leela's food as she snuggled in to the other bed on the desk, then the meeting started in earnest. I was mostly just taking notes, which is easy but requires a lot of looking at the screen.

At about 11 Leela hopped off the desk and went to her bathroom spot, and relieved herself. Then she had a good run around the house for about a minute, as is her way after her morning constitutional. She was yelling as she ran, as is usual, but I had my mic muted so didn't have to shush her or apologize for her. I don't mind it. She's running and happy, which must mean, she's healthy. Run all you want, itty bit.

At 11:15, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leela standing up on her hindquarters for an inordinately long time. I looked over and she was falling backwards off the desk. I didn't have a hope to catch her. I expected her to leap back up in a few seconds.

But she didn't.

So after about fifteen seconds I got up and went behind the desk and looked, and she was laying on the floor, looking dazed. She didn't look like she hit her head, more like she was splayed out.

I carefully checked her to see if she was hurt, but didn't seem so. She was slowly moving herself. Still, I was concerned. I unmuted my mic and said I need to be out of the meeting for a bit, remuted, then took my headset off.

I picked her up and put her in the other cat bed so I could see her easily, Pemily had left at some point. For about a minute she just laid there looking around slowly, then she got up and walked back to HER bed.

OK. She's alert, she's walking. Nothing seemed broken or hurt. She just had an oopsie, she'd caught her claws on something, yanked her arm back too hard, lost balance and fell. Clumsy, but it happens. I'll keep an eye on her.

After being out for five or seven minutes, I put my headset back on and finished out the meeting.

For the next two hours I was checking her every ten or fifteen minutes. She seemed a little slow, but mostly alert, and she didn't throw up or show other signs of trauma, so I let her be, and let her sleep. I’d mention it tomorrow at the vet.

Leela was awake around one forty five. She was alert and acting completely normal. She ate a bite or two of food. I was watching her, with one eye on my work screen, when her entire body tensed up, she pulled one arm to her body in a true claw-like manor, and was shaking a little.

No, something WAS wrong. I tried comforting her for a second then grabbed my phone. By the time I got my camera recording it was mostly over, but I caught some of it at the end.

She has a doctor's appointment in sixteen hours, I thought. What is this? Can I google it? She went back to being normal within a minute of the incident. I thought about the icy roads outside, if it would be safe to leave, or if it was an emergency now.

I tried, for about ten minutes, and of course none of it was good. I realized I was being dumb. I grabbed my phone and started pulling up my vet's number.

And then she did it again. It was definitely some kind of seizure. Now near freaking-out levels, I dialed, and it connected to my fucking headphones, and the next time too despite me trying to stop it. The third time, now I was full on shaking as I held Leela through the end of whatever was happening to her, I tried to hold my panic in as I talked to the office.

They put me on hold to check to make sure they had the capacity or if I'd need to go to the emergency vet. I quickly threw on clean clothes while waiting, forgoing a shower I probably really needed.

Bring her in, they said. I'll be there in twenty minutes, I said.

The ice had, thankfully, mostly melted on the roads throughout the day. I slid a few times, there was a lot of slush out there, but I told myself from the second I got her in the carrier and into the car, that I had to drive safe.

I did. And I talked to Leela the whole way, wanting to hear her cry because that meant she wasn't seizing.

And I thought about December 28, 2016. Driving Cebu to the vet after I woke up and he'd been throwing up blood and barely responsive. I thought about my dashcam recording of that morning that I found myself watching, listening to Cebu moan in pain and me begging him to hang on, knowing I was taking him to leave, more peacefully than now.

I thought about December 25th, 2016. When I didn't take Jim to the vet soon enough and he died in the middle of the night, alone without me, and probably scared.

I thought about August 12th, 2022. Worried, but not really giving thought to the fact that Patchy had gotten THAT bad. Thinking they'd re-hydrate her, give her some anti-nausea meds and tell me to double her prednisone again, buy her a few more weeks or months. Until Dr. N saw her blood levels.

I tried not to think about that, tried not to think that this could be Leela's last car ride. That I could be leaving there without her.

I mean fuck, her KIDNEYS are supposed to kill her. I've known that for almost two years!! What the fuck was THIS!?

I made it to the vet, with only a light amount of crying and icy road problems along the way. Took her inside and she'd been vocal the whole time AND while waiting in the lobby, voicing her displeasure. Got her into a room and she'd peed in the carrier.

I took her out and was starting to clean it up when Dr. N came in.

I gave him the history of the day. Of how ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NORMAL she was all morning. The time of her first seizure. I was sure I hadn't seen anything like it earlier in the morning or anytime yesterday. I was with her like twelve to fourteen hours most days. It's possible she could have had one overnight but... she was normal by Breakfast so I didn’t think so.

Yes, she ate a lot. She pooped and RAN before the first one.

Okay, he said. It could have been a lack of oxygen and too much stress from the running. While we were talking, she tried jumping off the table, but I caught her pre-jump and held her.

Let's do bloodwork.

He took her, took some blood, they cleaned her up of any pee and cleaned the carrier as well.

They brought her back in and it was awhile for the results, so I was just holding her, talking her, then she climbed down and was hanging out on my Kaidan hoodie crumpled in the corner of the bench. I was absentmindedly petting her watching animal planet on the TV in the room... when she fell over onto me. Seizing.

I stood up carefully and laid her flat and called for Dr. N. A few seconds later he and the vet tech rushed in, put her on the exam table and held her through the seizure.

And when he was done, he looked up at me, still petting her as she recovered and told me the news.

Her bloodwork was very different this time than last time. Her kidney levels looked fine.

But some other numbers (he said them but I don't remember) were off the chart.

She's got lymphoma.

FUCKING. LYMPHOMA.

THE SAME. FUCKING. THING. THAT. KILLED. PATCHY.

They aren't related.

It happened in the last two months, and we didn't do any further tests, but he was sure that at the levels she had, and you know the fucking SEIZURES, it must have spread to the Central Nervous System.

He said we could TRY anti-seizure meds and prednisone, the same medicine Patchy was on for the last thirteen and a half months of her life. But this had ravaged Leela much faster than it had younger, healthier Patchy.

I could take her home and try over the weekend, he said. It would be at least a weekend before we knew if it would help.

If it didn't help, she would be seizing all weekend. She could die at any time from one of the seizures. It would be uncomfortable and painful for her. It would be difficult for me, especially if she didn't respond well.

It's possible it would buy her weeks of life, but literally one of the numbers she had was off the chart. Normal bad was like fifteen thousand. Hers were like two hundred thousand, he explained. They ran the tests twice, that's why it took so long.

It was my decision, he said. Give me a few minutes to think about it, I said.

He left. I held Leela and cried and tried to decide. She was worth the pain of trying to me. Tomorrow is Friday, I could see how tomorrow went on the meds, and they were open half of Saturday so I could bring her in then, if things didn't go well---

she seized again. In my arms.

Each one looked worse and lasted longer.

I called for the doctor but he was with another patient. I just held her and rubbed her head through it, until she twisted so much she almost slipped out of my arms.

I put her back on the table, and kept her warm while waiting. Dr. N came in and I told her she seized again, just minutes after the last one. He looked at me, and we both knew. We knew. I nodded.

He gave me a few minutes to say goodbye. I told her over and over again how much I love her, and that she was going to go see Jim again. Tell him, and Target, Sampo, Cebu and Patchy how much I love and missed them.

They took her to put the catheter in, I texted my boss and my family.

They brought her back in, already sleepy.

And then the medicine went in, and I petted her until her last breath. She still had bits of food on her nose from breakfast.

I thanked Dr. N. Told him I wanted to full package individual cremation, gave Leela one last kiss on the head, and left.

It was like, four hours and fifteen minutes from "Leela fell off the desk" to goodbye.

I left the vet in a daze, feeling like I'd been punched in the face.

I came home, changed into clean pajamas, didn't look at her spot where she was supposed to be on the desk. Grabbed my Yeti and a new box of Puff's Plus and went to the bedroom, where I laid for three hours, crying wondering how the fuck this happened. Texted one person, then felt like a jerk for dumping on them.

Called my mom, telling her all of this made me feel better.

Eventually got the courage to come out here and start typing this. After I cleaned up her bathroom area, and swapped out her tiny cat bed for one of the bigger beds. There's no reason why Fry and Pemily can't sleep there now.

I tried showing Fry he could go there now, but he left immediately. Different reaction than them happily reclaiming the master bedroom the instant I left the door open when Patchy was gone.

I've wracked my brain for some kind of sign that I'd missed.

Patchy had slowly gotten sick, eating less and less and throwing up more and more when she got lymphoma.

Leela has been eating like a horse and only thrown up hairballs a few times.

Leela gained weight.

There was a sneezing thing Leela had done a few times lately but it didn't seem neurological. I had videoed her doing it last week, once out of the like, three times she did it in the last two months. I didn't ask about it today. I could next time I go in, I guess. Not that it matters now. That’s the only thing I can think of, though.

I just... I can't wrap my head around how fast she went from "having a great morning!" to rapidly seizing five times in four hours.

I still worry that I should have given her a CHANCE. It was four hours. It's not impossible that she would have gotten through it and...

...and her blood numbers were way off the charts. And she likely would have had many more seizures, and she could have died here at home and I could have done nothing to stop it but watch her suffer.

Fuck.

She deserved to leave peacefully, and not in pain.

She was old. Two months and a week from eighteen. Once she became mine, she had a mostly happy life, once Fry stopped bullying her.

I very nearly lost her almost two years ago and every day since then has been bonus time. I used to morbidly joke that the money I spent on saving her life back then would be divided by the number of days that she survived past that, and I paid that much for every day of her life had been worth that much. The number is $7.71. I'd so gladly give $7.71 every day for another almost two years with her.

She's with Jim now, I am telling myself. In my little cottage in heaven. Cuddled up with Jim for the first time in a long time. They were friends. Jim didn't really like other animals but he did tolerate or even love Leela. They didn't cuddle often, but he let her when she wanted to sometimes.

So now I'm imagining her up with him, Cebu hanging out nearby. Meeting Target and Sampo, checking in on the bedroom and seeing Patchy there. Jim and Leela in a spot near where they know I'm going to be, just within arms reach, waiting.

I'll write a memorial post later, write down everything I want to remember about her. Right now I just am in that place where I am trying to believe it's real while desperately hoping it's all a very bad dream.

#my pets #pet death tw #memorial post #very sad post feel no guilt for not reading

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elizabethplaid · 2 years

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morning notes - nov 9, 2022

It’s been about 24 hours since I ventured out to the polls yesterday. I left just before 11:30pm-ish last night. 15 hours and 45 minutes, working, on the record. I was feeling so dead at 8:30pm, omg.

Went to bed at midnight, proceeded to flop in bed for another hour or two. MOSCOW, the fucking badger, woke me up at 7am. I’m like, “dude, no, please, dear god, no.” So it’s after 7:30am, and my body is not awake. My mind barely fell asleep last night.

The sun is up. It’s colder now than when I went to bed. (36F versus 33F.) I’m delighted by how cold it is, but horrified that I left my sweatshirt so far from my bed. D:

Big love to @trufflesmushroom, who sewed the “Threads Magazine” pin cushion. I’m giddy with delight that it turned out so well, and that so many people have liked that post.

Cherry on top for this morning’s updates: the neighborhood donkey is awake!

#daily notes #i have a couple other things to say about the polls #but i will save that til later

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imraespace · 9 days

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we ignore the part hwere i forgot time exists and my daily check occurs every afternoon in my head time does not exist

HIHIIHIHII DAIYLVHDCKIN GIME 😈😈

today i got out of bed at 12 and i am tweaking bc i wanted to goto the mall today. BUT I HAVE WORK TO DOOO UGH

i usually grab my phone and scroll in my bed for like an hour when i wake up but i woke up three times one was at 9 am the next was like 9:42 and then 11:30. I ACTUALLY HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP PROPERLY BC WHY DID I WAKE UP SO MANY TIMES 👿i didnt wanna get up the first two times bc my mom was still asleep and i decide to “wake up” when i see her out of bed so i can freely scroll without her yelling

BUT TODAY SHE JUST WENT INTO HIBERNATION SO I WAS LIKE OKAY ITS LATE ANYWAYS ILL JUST GRABMY PHONE and like 6 mins later she wakes up and shes like “ure already on ur phone its so early??” and she was already getting mad but then i told her its 12 pm and she was like Oh. SO I GUESS TIME JUST DOESNT EXIST IN MY FAMILY

ummumumummummm i ate mac and cheese for breakfast i dont think thats a good breakfast but its ok and then i ate pocky and then my momi got mad again bc she said sweets are bad as i was munching on my chocolate covered sticks like oopsies

i will probably end up sending more asks later so i will make this one a little shorter than usual and willgo with the daily question now and bc we both love rin the question will be rin related 😈

dailt quesiton is would rin rather have a baking obsessed s/o or a cooking type of s/o like gordon ramsey

- 🐙

HELOME

AT 12 I WOKE UP AT 7AM bc idk.. I spend the morning watching spy x family with my momma

SAMEE ESP IF ITS EARLY THEN I FELL ASLEEP ANS WAKE UP AT LIKE 1PM it annoys me fr!!

HELPME HIBERNATION if my mom sleeps in she gets annoyed and blame everyone like if dhe wasn't up at 12am playing games ON HER PHONE

ACTUALLY SAME I DONT THINK TIME EXISTS INBMY FAMOLY AS WELL WE ALEAYS GET READY FOR AN OUTING WHEN ITS LIKE A FEW MINIUTES BEFORE THE TIME GIVEN TO MEET UP AND THEN DONT CARE IF WE'RE LATE or complain if we're late idk

for breakfast I ate ramen bc I was too lazy to do anything I want mac and cheese LMAO AS YPU WERE MUNCH8NF IN YOUR CHOCLATE STICK

hehehe I'll be looking out for them🤫🤫

PMWHAHDH HEHE RIN ERM ERM I say baking totally not bc I made y/n in my rin series a baker hahahah!!! BUT IDK I think a baker will suit him heheheh

#imraesrandom #imraes inbox !#- 🐙anon #imraespace -♡

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darkmoonkestrel · 13 days

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daily kestrel 9:

today was the three year anniversary with my partners! my morning was nothing special, although I didn't get to make Peyton coffee this morning since as soon as I woke up, my tummy decided it was time to hit the bathroom. I recovered from that and got ready for my practicum day, with a bit of a debate over shoes to go with my gingham dress. the ones I ended up settling on tried to give me blisters but I got bandaids on my feet quick enough

I got to read the story book to one of the first grade classes today, so that was fun! after I got home I started working on my portfolio blog post to get it knocked out before the drag show tonight and I was able to get it finished up right around when Peyton got home

we had a bit of time for relaxing on the couch and watching a fail comp, and then Paige showed us the cookie cake she got for us today: it says "Happy 2 3rd anniversary" bc earlier this week she fucked up and said "it's about to be our second anniversary" and my response was "bitch can you count" and the same time Peyton said "try that again" and I love it, it's great

we got ready for the drag show and headed into Atlanta, we were some of the first ones there which is really nice bc you end up being the first ones to get food. the show, food, and drinks were amazing as always (this is only the second time we've been but I guarantee it's always amazing) and we played some bitchy bingo with the drag queens - we didn't win anything but the prizes were good, including vouchers for free drag brunch for two! it was totally worth it, although the brunch was slightly better imo. the show also started late bc a few tables got there late, they were all part of the same party for a bachelorette for a lesbian couple that's getting married tomorrow but they were fun so I wasn't too bitter about it. on the way out we made a comment to the host for tonight (who was our waitress when we went for my birthday a month and a half ago) about how Paige was walking out under her own power tonight and we could see the look of recognition dawn on her face when she realized that we were the ones who's girlfriend had a few too many bottomless mimosas at brunch, it was great

Peyton finished the Jenny and Gilan short story on the way to the drag show, and we started another one on the way home - I was fighting drowsing off most of the way home but I think I got most of it, we'll see if I missed anything big when we pick it back up next time. I agreed to be at work at 7am again tomorrow and it's almost 11:30 so it is time for bed, goodnight my friends!

#we forgot Paige's box of leftovers at the show and only remembered it when we got home rip to that delicious salmon and rice #Wednesday #september

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rorygilmre · 1 year

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life is literally a movie sometimes.

i went to a concert last night, show ended at 11, my friends and i got back to campus and then decided to go to a party. we got to the frat house basement around 12:30 and stayed until almost 2am. we got back to campus, i was so insanely drunk and i went to bed around 3am. then i woke up at 7am this morning to get dressed because my friend and i are having brunch in the city to celebrate his birthday today.

#leah goes to college #i’m hungover and sleepy but the best hangover cure is to drink more so! boozy brunch!

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the-trashbin · 1 year

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august 25 2023

When my wife found proof of my infidelity, it was an easy decision for her to let go. I made it easy for her to let go.

At 3AM, she confronted me and I tried to deny it.

She cried the entire morning as we laid down in separate beds in silence.

At 7AM, I took an early bath and tried to leave. But she wanted to talk, have closure. And I decided to tell her everything I could. She asked some details about my infidelity and I obliged to answer all of her questions as truthfully as I can, despite the utmost shame.

When it felt as though we have reached an understanding, I left the house thinking it would be the last I'd see of her. But when I arrived the basement, I realized that I did not want it to end that way if it was going to end.

I hurried to get back to her and found her lying in the couch still, crying. I immediately knelt in front of her and begged for her forgiveness and another chance. She said she can't. When she sees me, she is only reminded of my sin. She may be able to forgive but it might take months, years... and still she said she might not be able to forget.

I am very regretful of everything that I did.

We talked about how we should divide the assets, how to approach the decision of splitting our things. It felt like a business decision more than it feels like the end of an 11-year relationship.

I cried so hard today.

I cannot even begin to describe how much pain was in her eyes.

I wanted to just disappear. To just be gone.

In the office, I just wore my sunglasses the entire time telling people that I had a red-eye so they won't ask me anything. But even then, I would be crying every now and then.

We've come to a conclusion that tonight, I will be staying over my sister's place. Fortunately, my sister welcomed me.

I told her everything that happened and cried so hard again. She was very understanding of what happened. She apparently went through the same thing.

I am so glad I have her.

Come 12:30 midnight, I finally slept for about half an hour and woke up. My wife also sent me a message saying she just woken from her sleep right after she arrived home from work. Then we started exchanging further messages.

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vickikowalewski · 1 year

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Day 20 - June 11, 2023: Zermatt to Interlaken

I woke up early in the morning to an absolutely gorgeous day in Zermatt. Not a cloud in the sky. I wanted to do one last load of laundry for the trip and I wanted to get the clothes in at 7am when the washers opened before anyone else. The entire hostel is sharing one washer and dryer so it’s nearly impossible to get the machine, especially with so many families staying.

I threw my clothes in the washer and went down the the scenic viewpoint to catch some completely clear views of the Matterhorn. Not a cloud in the sky to obstruct it. Only problem was the sun wasn’t high enough in the sky to light up the valley yet for a good photo. It was still beautiful though.

I made an executive decision that I needed to do Matterhorn Glacier Paradise before I left. I considered trying to squeeze in a trip to Randa for the suspension bridge but I figured it would be too much. I ended up being completely right. I had breakfast, finished my laundry, packed up, and checked out. Luggage storage was limited but the lady at the front desk let me store my luggage in a locker in the ski room, which was just fine. Everything is unlocked for the most part in Switzerland so that’s very helpful with limited reception. It’s a very safe place and you need money to stay in Zermatt so people generally don’t care to steal anyways. I still lock up my items to be safe though.

By the time I made it out of the hostel at 10am, the light clouds were coming so I had to hurry. You never know when the weather will change. There was construction going on at the ticket booth area so it was a bit confusing trying to get a ticket. There’s also a lot of stops, such as in Furi. I eventually figured it out with the ticket office and off I went! There’s 3 stops and switches on the way up. The first is in Furi for general hiking, the second is moving towards the top of the mountain, the third is at the top of Glacier Paradise. The views were spectacular! I even had a rare sighting of mountain goats on the mountain. I tried to get a video but I don’t think they can be seen. One of the best gondola rides I’ve ever done. It was unbelievable.

Glacier Paradise was truly incredible. I honestly thought it was more impressive than the top of the Gornergrat. You’re basically at the top of a glacier that you can walk around and can even ski or snowboard. I also watched an excursion of people climbing Breithorn. There’s also an ice palace dug into the glacier with ice sculptures and a slide. It was really incredible.

I eventually made it back down to my hostel after stopping at the top for lunch. The altitude was over 12,000 feet and I was feeling it. I’ve learned from this trip that some food and hydration typically help. Soup with bread and alcohol-free beer worked tremendously well. I’m becoming a big fan of the alcohol-free beer when I’m dehydrated or dealing with altitude sickness. It works much better than mineral or vitamin water in my opinion. I caught a train around 2pm and slowly made my way to Interlaken.

Interlaken is another confusing place, there’s two stations for the city and I had to get off at West, not the main station of Ost. I’m staying in a private room at the hostel and the hostel a bit off the beaten path. I’ve heard it’s extremely difficult to find affordable housing in Interlaken because there’s so few hotels and Airbnb places to stay so the prices are generally outrageous and very limited. I really felt like I lucked out. I have a single bed, a sink in my room, and even an air conditioner. However, Europe, especially Switzerland, has cracked down on air conditioners and you can’t control the temperature setting. It’s stays around 73 degrees at all times.

I had dinner and walked around the town a bit. I went to an Italian restaurant that was unbelievably beautiful inside. The weather was nice though so I chose to sit outside instead. Google Sapori and you’ll be amazed by the inside of the place. Stunning. The town is overall quite nice but I was expecting both lakes to be closer in sight for some reason. I eventually got back and couldn’t get my blog to work so I chose to go to bed instead.

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piratewithvigor · 2 years

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Journey Out Of Darkness: The History Of Kane

Chapter 11: Breakfast

Margaret shares a great similarity to one of Abel's parents

Last Chapter ~ AO3

Taglist: @the--blackdahlia @coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe @wendigoruble @old-no7 @kayfabebabe

When Red said they woke up early, Abel had expected maybe around sunrise. He remembered some of the cowboy movies he watched in the hospital said they got up and went down with the sun. He was woken up not by his alarm clock– which he’d set for 7am, just in case the sun didn’t wake him– and nor by the sun, which was usually coming up around 6– but by the sound of horses neighing seemingly right outside his window. He sat bolt upright in bed, and rubbed his eyes intensely to try and clear the sleep and adjust them to the darkness as quickly as he could. There were no other beds in the room and no lights creeping in from the hallway under the door. That’s right, he wasn’t in the group home anymore. He was at Aurora.

As his heart rate creeped back down, he looked at the clock next to his bed.

4:52am.

Outside the window behind the clock, there were men walking from the outlying buildings up to the house. Their voices carried through the floorboards as they open and shut the front door a number of times. They didn’t sound nearly as tired as he felt. They were happy. Jovial. Content from a morning’s work and looking forward to the day. When the smell of fresh coffee began swirling up alongside their voices, the tones became more grateful, just like the way Dad sounded when Ma handed him his first cup of the day. If he were excited for school that day, he’d be working his way through his Cheerios at the table and witness the scene, but if he was dragging his feet, he’d just hear it from bed. No matter how he was feeling, it never changed.

He liked that smell.

Abel laid back down and tried to picture for a moment he was back in Marfa. Thomas would be taking a shower and using up all the hot water on his long hair that Dad would tease him for. Thomas would always have a sassy comeback and Ma would chastise them both for going on about it while breakfast was getting cold. He could almost hear her crossing the house to come check if he was getting ready as he fell back asleep.

–

When he woke again, it was to the quiet beeping of his alarm with bright sunlight falling across the numbers on his clock. If it’d been a school day, he would have been scrambling out of bed to try and get ready before the bus arrived, and a quiet worry in his stomach still said he should, but he quieted the worry by assuring himself that it was Saturday. No school to be had.

That didn’t mean there was no work to do on the ranch, though.

His attention was pulled from his clock when his bedroom door opened with a soft creek and Red peeked in.

“You awake in there, pardner?”

“Guess so.”

“Best come downstairs sooner than later. Breakfast is on and it ain’t easy to gather everyone I want you to meet outside of mealtimes.”

That sounded nice. A big breakfast with people who wanted to meet him. Home cooked. He couldn’t remember the last breakfast he’d had like that.

His stomach was almost growling when he entered the kitchen in the clothes he’d found in his closet. Three men were sitting with Red at the big dining room table, passing around plates of food– bacon and eggs and home fries and tortillas and a big basket of muffins. They were all talking and chewing at the same time, loudly, animatedly.

Red waved him over and introduced him. The men were Deke, and Lucas and Tony; Abel heard the last names but didn’t remember them. These here were cowboys, Red said. Real live cowboys. They worked the ranch for Red and Margaret. All three said hey, hello, how are you, didn’t make a big deal about his burns, and went right back to eating and talking. Mostly eating.

They were talking about the ranch and the work to be done on it for sure, but beyond that, Abel wasn’t sure about the specifics. They seemed important, whatever they were, and they certainly had Red’s rapt attention. Abel was so focused on trying to riddle out the conversation that he almost didn’t notice when Mrs. Hill placed a glass of orange juice by his plate.

“I assume you don’t drink coffee. And if you do, you’ll be making the switch this morning. The last thing a growing boy needs in the morning is caffeine,” she explained. She was firm, but she said it in such a way that Abel felt like if he did drink coffee, he would have quit cold turkey then and there, just to appease her.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you is right. Mrs. Hill, that was delicious as always,” Red smiled, dabbing at the corners of his mouth with his napkin as he stood. “But we’ll be needin’ to get back to things. Now Abel,” he squatted down to be eye-to-eye with him. “One of the cows has a bit of an infection we need to tend to before the day can get started. When Margaret wakes up, she can take you, introduce you to the horses so they can get to know you and you can get to know them. ‘Round lunch, I should be set to take you into town, find you some good boots. How’s that sound?”

The idea of having real cowboy boots was good. The idea of getting to experience being a cowboy was good too. The idea of spending the morning alone with Margaret was… less good.

“Sounds like fun,” Abel managed to bring himself to say.

Red must’ve known he was forcing himself to say so, judging by the way his smile wavered for a second.

“Good. Then I’ll see you this afternoon at lunch. Okay?” “Okay.”

The four men tugged their hats into place as they left the kitchen, leaving Abel alone with Mrs. Hill. Instinct drove him to start collecting dishes, even though it made her tut at him.

“I appreciate the help, but this is my job. We’ve all got our chores around here, kiddo. Just a matter of time before Mr. Red finds something for you.”

“Like what?”

“Well, that’ll all depend on what you show an aptitude for. Everyone’s got their strengths and by playing to them, the ranch reaches its best efficiency. You’ll get chores soon enough, don’t worry.” She was smiling, but as soon as she looked over Abel’s shoulder, her expression changed entirely.

“Good morning, Mrs. Barrow.”

Abel turned to follow her gaze. Margaret was descending the stairs, clutching at the railing as if she might collapse without it. She looked as pale as Thomas did during the bad snowstorms that made them stay inside all the time.

“Good morning, Mrs. Hill. Coffee, please, and some toast with jam– blackberry jam, if we have it, and some ice water as well. And two ibuprofen, I have a terrible headache. No, actually, three please. Abel, I’m certain you’ve already eaten, but will you sit with me, please?”

It seemed like a lot of requests for one morning, but maybe Margaret’s headaches were like the migraines Ma used to get when it got too hot during the summers. They were bad enough to make her sick in bed for days. If that was the case, it was impressive that she’d gotten out of bed and down the stairs at all. The last thing Abel wanted to do was deny her a request, especially one that made it seem like she actually wanted to spend time with him. He took a seat just to the right of the head of the table. Margaret slumped in beside him, her eyes mostly closed.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked softly.

“I did, thank you.”

“I usually get up with Red and the others, but my head is killing me… Mrs. Hill! That ibuprofen!”

Abel hadn’t heard anyone talk to Mrs. Hill that way since arriving, but judging by the way she came running with the pills and a glass of ice water, it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for Margaret to do so. Maybe these headaches were fairly frequent. He thought it was a little rude to not even thank Mrs. Hill for the painkillers, but he had to admit that when he’d been in the hospital and feeling sick from all the painkillers and hospital food, he hadn’t been in the mood to be polite either.

“So, do you like horses?” She asked, once she’d gotten the pills and the water down.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been close to one before.”

“I’m sure you’ll come to like them as much as Red and I do. I grew up around horses, you know.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes, back east. That’s where I’m from, you know. Connecticut.”

Then what in the hell was she doing down here? Whenever a car with a far-away license plate drove past, Dad would always ask that. There was the occasional James Dean fan, but tourism was certainly not Marfa’s main export. People drove through when they were lost and that was about it. He didn’t ask it like that, though.

“What made you come out here?”

“Mr. Barrow. Red. I met him at a show we both attended in New York, and–” she shrugged. “We fell in love.”

“Oh.” He supposed that was about as much romance as he should come to expect from them. The most words they’d said to each other since he’d arrived had been shouted and not sounded kind. It had to be some romantic show.

“You said you had breakfast already?”

“Eggs and bacon,” he confirmed. “And some tortillas.”

“I’m sorry to have missed out. Mrs. Hill is an excellent cook.”

“I can tell that already.”

“You’ll eat well while you’re here. I can assure you that.”

Maybe he was just imagining things, or maybe he was putting words into her mouth, but it sounded like this was a hotel and he’d stopped in for a few days instead of the home he was supposed to grow up in and come back to visit on holidays with maybe a family he raised.

He was probably just imagining it.

When Margaret’s breakfast came, she stopped talking long enough to nibble a few bites of her toast before leaning back in her chair and sighing.

“I’m very sorry, Abel. My head is starting to spin. It wouldn’t be safe for me to be handling a horse in this condition. I’m afraid we’ll have to postpone the lesson for today. Mrs. Hill!”

Mrs. Hill came over immediately, without even putting down the dish towel that had been in her hand. “Yes, Mrs. Barrow?”

“I’m finished. I have to go lie down again. Could you bring up a Bloody Mary in about– fifteen minutes?”

“Of course, ma’am.”

That was a familiar name. He used to hear it a lot, especially at the tail end of arguments between his parents in the mornings after the bad nights.

“No celery, this time, please. You forgot last time.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Barrow.”

“Quite alright. I just wanted to remind you.” She smiled at Abel. “We’re all only human, after all.”

She left the table and returned upstairs.

#Journey Out Of Darkness #Kane #WWE #WWF #Writing #Fanfic #i'm sorry Mikey but the way you do dialogue sucks #the next chapter is gonna have to be almost from scratch cause jesus christ does he have a phobia of writing how people actually talk?

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flyawayrachel · 3 years

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Sometimes when I'm having a particularly hard day excepting my lot I go back and read this little thing I wrote a few months after leaving my family to remind me that I made the right decision. Idk why I am choosing to post this today but I've never posted it anywhere before. I've never been quiet about who I am and what I came from and sometimes it's nice to just get the feelings put there.

My whole life I had never been allowed to make decisions for myself, so why now, was it up to me to make the biggest decision of my life?

What school I could attend, what major I could study, what clothes I could wear, what teachers I could take, what jobs I could have, who I could speak to, who I could be friends with, what bank I used, what hair style I had, what nickname I could go by, what music I could listen to...all these things were policed since I was born, and the first decision I got to make solo was the most world defining decision I'll ever make.

Since then I've made a lot of decisions about myself, some little and some huge, but each one comes with a hill to climb. Through this series of decisions I've come to discover a little more about myself and who I am, a long painful process of deciding for myself.

The first decision.

It was a Sunday. I was expected to attend three morning protests and church at 11:30am, my father would be giving the weekly sermon. This Sunday, however, was different. For the first time in my life, I had a separate obligation. I chose, or tried to choose, to skip church that week.

This was not my first decision as it was reviewed by my parents and shut down.

It was 7am that Sunday morning, and I jumped out of bed, got dressed, and headed to work. I had discussed the days events with my parents two nights prior, today we had a fundraiser. A local family had just lost their daughter to brain cancer, and for once in my life I felt I had the power to do good, instead of spread hate. This was a huge deal to everyone there, and the community surrounding us. I was excited. As a new business, this would be great for us. We'd learn how to handle big crowds of people, we'd all bond over the stress of the situation, we'd have a great time, and we'd be doing good. I got to the restaurant around 7:45, and jumped into work. We had a LOT to do. I was anxious, I knew I was doing something I shouldn't...or at least something my parents don't approve of. It wasn't until 9:21 I heard from them

"Are you planning to miss church today?" My father text me.

"I'm planning to make it back, but if we get people in at 11, I probably won't be able to." I replied

"OK this doesn't really work for me. You aren't at a spot in life where this should be getting asked of you and this was supposedly made clear when you joined. If they cannot respect your need to be in the Lords house you need to find other employment. We need to talk about this"

Fear. Fear was all I could feel. I cried. Knowing exactly what "We need to talk about this meant" it wouldn't be a conversation with just me and him. Or me him and my mother, it would be everyone. Every adult member of our church would sit me down, accuse me of all manner of wrong doing, scream, yell, and refuse to acknowledge anything I said and brush it off as if I was a liar. A decision they had made for me when I was not even a teenager yet. At 11 years old I had been pegged as a liar and forced into seclusion by the church all because my mother, forgetful as ever, had forgotten a conversation I had with her a few weeks prior to it all coming to light. "If they're too scared to talk to me(referring to my older brother as I) then they can't speak to anyone" an aunt of mine had said, and her word was regarded as law at that point. Months of silence on my part followed. I became solemn and bitter after that. My social skills had been destroyed and I would never get over what they'd done to me. The happy little girl was gone, and in their eyes, she never existed. I was ridiculed for years because of this change in demeanor.

I received several phone calls from my parents that morning. I answered none of them. So my mother chimed in...it was 9:57:

"It is not ok for you to miss Church today. We need to have a serious discussion today about what's going on with you."

Again the threat of intervention.

I had to go home. My boss rolled his eyes, dispite his knowledge of my situation he couldn't help but be annoyed that his second hand was leaving, right before open, on what would be our busiest day ever. When I left, there was already a line at the door. I later learned they filled the restaurant within seven minutes of opening the doors. It didn't stop until we closed that night.

My dad gave the sermon that day. It was long. Nearly double the normal length of our weekly meeting. I couldn't tell you if it was purposefully, knowing him it probably wasn't, but that didn't help my view of the situation. Once church was over, I spead down the highway back to work, it was nearly 2pm by the time I got back. It was chaos. People everywhere, we were running out of things, and the dishwashers they'd pulled to prep just couldn't keep up. I was put in charge of running prep and we prepped and prepped and prepped. Ticket times were awful and I don't think we ever got out of the weeds, even now I feel the effects of that day on our staff. I remember at one point I was apologizing to one of our cooks, who we affectionately refer to as "Mom".

"I don't know if I can stay there any more" I'd said. For the first time in my life, I'd admitted to someone that I didn't see a future for me in the church. I'd been toiling with the feeling for years, but it wasn't until early February that I'd realized that I couldn't stay. "Get through school" I'd tell myself. With two years of school left, and my whole life crumbling, I knew I wouldn't last.

"If you need a place to go, I have a spare bedroom. You're welcome there" she replied.

I was floored. Being told your whole like that the world is against you, you learn to accept that, but this woman, this mother of three, had just offered to open her door to me, no questions asked.

We closed at 8.

Once it died down I sat at the bar with my chef. The foh manager behind the bar, pouring them both drinks. I can't tell you the exact words that were spoken, what, if any, words of encouragement were given to me, but while sitting there, I made my first decision. It was time to go. I remember thinking that I needed permission from someone, anyone, to do this, but it never came. My chef never told me I should, our foh manager never told me I should, no one told me to do it. I had to decide, and decide I did.

Once I got home late that night I told my sister. I didn't tell her I would leave immediately. I just told her I couldn't stay and she was always welcome to join me when she got older. I remember telling her there are other ways and places that we can serve the Lord without being subjected to the cruel glares and sneers of those around us. We had discussed often the wrong doings of the "Elders" of our church. I thought she'd understand and maybe she did, but she was hesitant. She was only a child after all, 13 years old, but had already been through hell and back with these people.

The next day I packed. I used the pretence that I was cleaning out my room and giving a bunch of my clothes to Goodwill, an instruction my father had given me a few days prior. This came only months after my mom had my siblings strip my room of much of my belongings and furniture while I was in class one evening. Many garbage bags full of clothes with other items hidden within made their way to the car. It was hard. Making the decision on what to keep and what to leave behind. I had collected many things from many different fan bases I considered myself a part of, while much had been taken from me I still had decisions to make. A lot got left behind. It was now Monday. I didn't work Mondays so I had all day to work. At 8pm we all sat down for our evening reading. I remember choking back tears realizing this would be the last time I sat in a room along side all six of my siblings and my parents in an amicable manner, still, the looming threat of these "talks" overtook me with fear. Once we were done and we'd said our evening prayer I went up to my room. I cried. I cried for the hurt I would do my dad, it was a common joke in the house that I was his favorite. His first little girl. The years I'd miss watching my baby brother grow up. The betrayal my sister would feel when she woke up the next morning. Knowing that in the following weeks every inkling of my existence would be stripped from the house, I still wonder what became of my old bedroom. Did my sister take it like she'd joked about when I would tell her I was dying from a migraine or dealing with a particularly hard day at work? Would my mom take it and use it as an office or spare bedroom for when my dad snored too loud as she often did when I would sleep over at my cousin Vicky's house?

My mom left the house at 4:30am. I was awake before she left. Silently selecting the last few items I would take with me. I wrote two notes. One of apology to my sister for leaving her here in a cave full of wolves. One to my dad, asking to be left alone and explaining that there had been irreparable damage done by other members of the church and that I did not believe their doctrine. I wrap my house key, pink and bedazzled with fake diamonds because my dad picked it out and never really got who I was back then, and copy of their credit card in it and stuck it in his cubby before walking out the door, tears still wet on the paper from when I wrote it. I only had one chance, as all windows and doors on our house sent chimes throughout the 10 bedroom, 6 bathroom, three kitchen home when opened. I got in my car, contemplated my decision one last time, and I left.

I sat at my job for hours alone, drinking ginger ale and eating sourdough bread. Wishing the nausea would go away. Not long after getting there I received a message from my dad. He would not ask me to come home, but extended the invitation to talk if I thought it would solve the problem and I could continue living under their rule. Reiterating the fact that they would not be changing for me. If I left I was going to be on my own. I spent the morning crying as I went about directing prep work for the week, we had a lot to recover from and my personal turmoil couldn't distract me from my work. Hours later my mom showed up. It was on the way home from the early morning yoga class she had taught, which is why she left the house so early. I couldn't recount the exact words said because I was to distracted by the way she was speaking to me. I was a stranger now. She's a lawyer and treated me like a client, taking notes as we spoke with no regard to my emotions or well being. She'd always counted the days to my 18th birthday, the only hope she'd rid me from her life forever. This was her chance.

The months following were hard. I had a lot of decisions to make and no one to guide me. The people who swore to make it easier only made it harder, but I bonded with the least expected people, some of which continue to be my greatest friends even to today. It was a decision that I don't regret, not even on the hardest days, the days I mourn the time lost with my loved ones and the very real possibility they'll never come back to me. The nights I sit up scrounging the internet for any glimpse into their current lives, or when I read people's"hot takes" about who they think they are, often getting it wrong and seeing my family as a one dimensional group of haters. I've made the decision to me myself and it's a decision I'll stand by until the day I die, eternity be damned.

#My life #wbc #westboro baptist church #please be respectful

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katlyncnuddesblog · 3 years

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Week 2 Blog Post 2

In my social media log, I realized I spend a lot of time on my phone. Time which could otherwise be spent being more productive or spending time with my friends and family and being present in what is happening. Instead, I am distracted almost all the time by my phone. I don’t even know why I spend so much time on my phone. Half the time I am not even doing something enjoyable, I am just aimlessly scrolling and going back and forth between apps. So, for this experiment I decided to do some social media/phone free times throughout the day.

I started on Wednesday 11/3/2021 around 7pm. Once I got home from class, I did one last check on my phone and then I put it on silent so I wouldn’t get any notifications. Then I worked on some homework and watched some TV. While I was watching TV, I worked on some crochet projects I needed to get done before my craft show this weekend. It was nice not checking my phone constantly because it made me be more productive in my other tasks. I didn’t check my phone until about 9:30pm so I went 2 and a half hours without my phone.

The next day, Thursday 11/4/2021 I woke up at 7am and checked my phone once before logging on to work for the day. I work from home so all I must do to get ready for work is just turn on my laptop and log on! I completed some of the things on my to do list and had one meeting that morning and the entire time I did not check my phone. I didn’t check it until about 11am so I went about 4 hours without checking it! I ate some lunch and finished a couple of things for work before logging off of for class at 1pm, and then I headed to Mt. Pleasant. During this time the only time I used my phone was to hook up the music to my car, and to text my fiancé that I made it to school safely. I didn’t use my phone again until after class at 3:15pm when I called my fiancé to tell him I was on my way home, and to hook up my music once again. I got home around 4pm and started finishing up some things for my craft show and didn’t look at my phone again until about 7:30pm. Then I put it back down at 8pm until I went to bed at 11pm. So, in total I went about 9 and a half hours without checking any social media.

Friday 11/5/2021 I woke up at 7am again and only checked my phone once, before logging on to work. I got some stuff done and had a meeting. I didn’t check my phone until noon! So, I went about 5 hours without checking anything. I ate lunch and was on my phone during this time before putting it back down again. I got off of work at 1pm and put my phone back down so I could do some schoolwork and work on some last-minute items for my craft show. I didn’t check my phone again until 6pm, so I went 5 hours without it. After taking an hour break of working on everything, I put my phone back down at 7pm and didn’t pick it back up until almost midnight. So in total I went about 12 hours without checking it Friday.

During all these phone free periods, I was a lot more productive and a lot more engaged in what was going on around me. I was able to focus more on my schoolwork, and on everything else I did during that time. I was able to finish a lot more homework and get more done for my craft show. I definitely need to start implementing some phone free times throughout everyday to ensure I am being as productive as possible. Which will help my mental health as well to know that I am doing everything possible to be the best employee, and student I am capable of being.

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dreamygeorgenap-archive · 4 years

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hii i wanted to say that i really like your takes and comments on dnf, but out of curiosity, are you a morning or night person? i just went to sleep at 4:50 and woke up at 7, so im sort of in the middle ig. send help i cant fall back asleep and it’s 11:30am

Hi! I’m definitely a morning person, always have been, it’s a luxury for me to sleep until 8am. My internal clock just wakes me up at 6:30-7am. But I’ve definitely done that where I will go to bed at 4am and then wake up at 7:45 just wide awake. I feel your struggle. Sometimes it helps me to get out of bed, eat breakfast, and then try to go back to sleep.

#asks #Anonymous

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jokertrap-ran · 4 years

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(少女的王座—The Throne of Girl—) Main Story: Chapter 1 Part 10 English Translation

*The Throne of Girl Masterlist. *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut! *Main Story will be tagged under #Throne of Main

Chapter 1-1 / 1-2 / 1-3 / 1-3B / 1-4 / 1-5 / 1-6 / 1-7 / 1-8 / 1-9 / 1-10 / 1-11 / 1-12 / 1-13

Phone Call from Adrian / Lancelot

I groggily woke up from my sleep in the morning. The bright light from outside filtered through the windows into the room; everything was peaceful and quiet.

MC: Doesn't seem like there are any maids here to wake me up today...

I glanced at the time, ducking my head back under the soft covers.

MC: I feel like there aren't going to be any social events today, so I can sleep in…

Just as I closed my eyes, preparing to return to sleep for a second time, my phone suddenly rang.

MC: …Ugh… Why is someone calling me all so early in the morning?

Snatching up my phone a little reluctantly, I forced my eyes open; my drowsiness dying off real quick when I saw just who was requesting for a video call with me.

MC: ...Alex?

Alex Pepsilia was my younger brother, and the youngest child of the family.

MC: (Pepsilia and Hubrigy have a 4 hour time difference.)

MC: (It's 7AM here now, which means that it's only 3AM over there, right?)

MC: Unless he hasn't slept at all?

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, pressing the answer button.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Alex: I just knew that you were sleeping in, sis!

MC: Sleeping in is a right that god has bestowed upon us!

Alex: Such a thing didn't exist in the Church's teachings...

MC: Huh… You mean, even God hasn’t said anything like “Make sure to get a good rest everyday and get enough sleep”? Surely there must be something along those lines!

Alex: ... Wasn't it "God's blessing allowed us rest on every seventh day of the week"?

MC: ...Doesn't it mean the same thing?

Alex: No way! They're completely different!

[Alex had been sent to the Vatican to live there for a while, due to his frail and sickly constitution, to pray for God's blessing while he received treatment from the Holy See.]

[And he had become more devout to God upon his consequent return.]

MC: Fine… You’ve caught me red-handed.

MC: But I’ve also found out that you’re still not asleep despite it being 3 in the morning!

MC: Shall I… Tell Father and Brother about this matter?

Alex: !!!

Alex: Sis…

MC: Juuuust joking!

MC: Still, it’s so late; why aren’t you asleep?

Alex: I couldn't fall asleep…

Alex: I mean, Father, Brother, you, and even brother Albert went all the way to the Royal Palace in Hubrigy; and in the only one being left behind...

Alex: The Castle is so big and empty, and no one pays me any mind… There's no way I'll be able to sleep like this!

Alex: Hey sis? When will you be coming back?

MC: I’ve still got to stay here for about another month!

MC: Haa… I want to go home too...

MC: This Palace has such an overwhelming number of rules; I wouldn’t stay here for another day if I could help it!

MC: But it’s currently the Capital’s Social Season, so Brother has been forcing me to participate in Tea Parties, Balls, blah, blah...

MC: He said that he just wanted me to make acquaintances with more royals. Humph! They’re just forcing me to participate in “Blind Dates”, if I had to be blunt about it!

Alex: Ehh!? Then... Do you have anyone you fancy, sis?

MC: Not. A. Single. One!

Alex: Really? Thank God!

Alex: —Ahem! I mean, hurry and come on back if there isn't anyone you fancy over there!

MC: I have no common topic with them at all. They all either have their eyes growing on the top of their heads or talk about extremely boring things!

Alex: That's right! There's no way those people will ever be worthy of you, sis!

Alex: Hurry and come back sis! You can just live with me just as we've always done, right?

MC: If only Brother was of the same mind as you...

Alex: It'll be fine! Just leave brother Lancelot to me.

Alex: I'll make sure to convince him not to set you up for any "Blind Dates"!

MC: Really?

MC: It would be greatly appreciated if you can persuade Brother to stop dragging me off to these “Blind Dates”!

Alex: Yup! I'll send a message to him in the afternoon saying, "Looks like sis doesn't like aaanyone at all, so hurry and let her come home already"!

MC: Alex… I now stand firm in my belief that you’re the only one who relates to me best in the family!

MC: Even Albert came along with us to the Royal Palace… Only for him to be on the same mindset as Brother, himself! He’s not helping me anymore!

Alex: What? Even brother Albert? Even him…

Alex: I'm sure he must have been coerced by Father and brother Lancelot! Yeah; I'm sure he was!

Alex: Don't blame brother Albert for it, sis...

MC: You’re not wrong… But...

[I sighed. Alex was right. Brother and father must have specially instructed Albert one way or another for him to be so "respectful" of the rules in the Royal Palace."]

Alex: Anyway, just leave brother Lancelot to me and don't worry about it!

Alex: By the way, how's the Royal Palace? It must be way different from Pepsilia, right? Have you gotten used to the place yet?

MC: It’s really very different here. The Capital of Hubrigy is known as the “Heart of the Empire”; and it really deserves its reputation, for it’s way more prosperous compared to us!

MC: I hear that this place houses the largest Amusement Park and Zoo in the entire continent! Not to mention the famous Aquarium which is said to have every single species of marine life on this entire planet!

MC: There are also many delicious street food, gourmet stores, free markets and so on and so forth… Oh yeah! I think there was also a particularly popular Circus around here...

Alex: Ooooo!! Sounds like there are lots of interesting and yummy things there!

Alex: Sis, I… I wanted to go along with you…

MC: Don't worry! There'll be another chance next time!

[Even though I say that… I'm aware that he's always been of frail health…]

[Let's not even mention anything about him coming together with us to Hubrigy; even normal plans for a short trip out always ended as that. Just a plan.]

[The only time he had a successful long-distance trip elsewhere was only after we went to the Vatican and visited the Holy See, to pray for god’s blessing to see the trip through successfully.]

[I looked at the time and saw that it was getting later and later. It was nearing 4AM back in Pepsilia—]

▷Choice: Chat longer with him

MC: Let’s wait for your health to get better, and for you to get stronger. Then, you can come here with me and enjoy yourself as much as you want; how does that sound?

Alex: Sure, sounds great!! It's a promise then! When that time comes… Yes, let's go there together with only us two!

Alex: Let's skip all those boring social events! I'm sure we'll be able to play to our heart's content with just the two of us!

MC: Uwah, hearing you say that makes me a little impatient for that time to come; I can’t wait…!

Alex: Don't worry about it, sis! I won't make you wait long!

MC: Aw, how sweet of you, Alex!

▷Choice: Persuade Alex to go to bed.

MC: But it’s almost 4AM; it’s not good for your health to be up so late!

Alex: I...

Alex: I… want to talk with you a little longer, sis...

MC: You can’t. I’ll be very worried if you don’t hurry and sleep soon...

Alex: ...Alright...

Alex: I'm gonna prepare for bed then. How about you go outside for a change if you're free?

MC: Yeah! I happen to be free later, so I’m absolutely prepared to sneak out and go fishing.

MC: I hear that the Capital is home to a species of fish that can spit out precious chromatic beads, so I’m thinking of trying my luck.

MC: The people here use them as amulets! Rest assured, for this sister of yours is blessed with super good luck! I’ll definitely be able to show it to you!

Alex: I think I've read about that fish in one of the books on the Church's library. I recall that it's pretty hard to catch, and if it proves to be too much trouble for you, then maybe…

MC: Don’t worry, something as simple as fishing won’t pose a problem for me at all! I’m going off to fish now, and as for you~ Hurry and go to sleep!

Alex: Alright, sis!

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Having said that, I waved at Alex through the video call before cutting the line.

MC: (I should change and head out.)

I put the phone in my hand down, hurriedly getting out of bed to wash up and change into a fresh set of clothes.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

MC: (It’s such a rare occasion to be able to go take a breather outside. I should ask Albert to come along with me while I’m at it!)

I stopped in front of Albert’s room, knocking on his door.

MC: Albert!

MC: ...Albert?

I knocked on the door, but it was unexpectedly quiet within the room.

MC: (Hm? What’s going on? Unless… Did he go somewhere?)

MC: (Where did he go off to so early in the morning? Unless Father of Brother needed him for something?)

MC: (Oh well, it’s just fishing; I can go alone.)

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ♔What’s past, it’s prologue♔ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Previous Part: (Chapter 1-9) | Next Part: (Chapter 1-11)

#少女的王座 #The Throne of Girl #소녀의왕좌 #Otome #Translations #RASTAR Games #亚历克斯 #Alex #下野紘 #Shimono Hiro #Throne of Main

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myownjadedpieceofmind · 5 years

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Long drawn out post about to happen...you've been warned

I just want to give a little insight into my schedule, because I'm having a problem with some social skills and fitting the human role and expectations. I think you guys might be able to help me figure out how to best approach and deal with these issues.

Monday, I drove home from wichita after having been awake for 40 hours and then taking a 5 hour nap. That's a 2 hour drive home. I get home, unpack my car, drag my shit inside, put it away and then fold the pile of laundry my daughter left on my bed. I have to work that night, so around 4, I finally get the chance to sleep before my shift.

Monday night, I wake up at 930. I'm at work at 11, and off around 7am tuesday morning. My friend Jenn started managing the vape shop and is all but begging me to work, offering me $10/hr, and, so, I agreed to help her. Face it, the $13k I've made this year isn't cutting it, and even though i already work full time, I have to look at a second job for income or else I'm not gonna have the funds for health insurance which I desperately need. SO- I'm at the vape shop at 10. I worked til 1pm, because I had to go to court for a medical bill collections thing. That took until almost 3. And, again, i have to work tonight, so, I went home and went to bed. It was probably 4 before I went to sleep, and I was up at 930.

Now. Let me explain something in my view of days and shit. When I started my shift Monday night, my monday didnt end until I went to bed this afternoon. In my head when i woke up, i just started my tuesday. See how I get my days fucked up?

So... comes down to things like important dates or bills due on specific days, or even knowing which day I get to pick up my paycheck (it usually sits for an extra day every time), I'm a day behind. I've had to pay reconnect fees for my water bill because I show up tuesday morning to pay it thinking its monday and I'm safe...and instead its tuesday and shutoff day.

Today was November 5th: my 23 months sober. It was also a friends birthday. I planned on messaging that friend when I woke up, but instead I woke up to a message from 530, when I'm dead asleep, saying "I know you have a lot more important things to worry about, but wanted to let you know that it's my birthday today."

Now. I'm not trying to be a bitch. At all. However, this is a person I talk to regularly. Like, probably one of 3 people that hear from me almost daily. Anyone that has ever been my friend in any capacity knows that I am NOT that good at all that. Their birthday falls on my sober-versary. 7 days before my dad's birthday. And it was less than a week ago that I had hinted at something I was doing for them.

Beings as how I had just woken up and read that message, I was not my best self when I answered. In my defense, I really was put off that this person who knows my schedule would think that I wasnt going to recognize their birthday. I get really upset about the fact that I can't manage to be a "normal" person, and that people think I'm so self centered that I don't think of anyone else. I got offended, I guess. Hurt?

Anyway... I sent a message with the entirety of my days schedule and then tried to say, man, my tuesday JUST FUCKING STARTED. you already jumping my ass right out the gate. Like, give me a chance to be a decent human being and don't just assume I forgot or am careless and wasn't even planning to say anything. It didn't really sit well with me, and I'm sure I'm probably in the wrong because I am known to overreact. Just shit that gets worded like that reminds me of toxic guilt trip type conversations I've experienced my entire life with my mother. Now, I didn't message the shit i said just then. I tried to be polite and say that it hurt my feelings that they thought I was that careless and wouldn't have remembered, especially since we had just talked about it.

Idk. I Obviously can't human. I really need to stop trying to act like I can. I will just pass a card to anyone that ever attempts conversation with me in the future- "defective unit, proceed with no expectations and at your own risk. No guarantee for any functional friendship. "

Suggestions? Hints at being human? Ideas on how to have a healthy balanced life? I'm dying over here.

#personal #i cant human #how does one navigate #i need more hours #always fucking up #cant get it right #no matter how much i try #friendships are hard #being involved #have some patience #maybe overreacting #but why #done even trying

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