#i will Expose myself bravely one more time

[tardis--dreams]

I love this hostel. They're like 'oh we're gonna make your room sooooo cozily warm you'll forget the icy winter cold outside ♡' and then go 'ahhh the bathroom! The room where people are most likely to be undressed and therefore exposed to the Temperatures™️ ! Let's make it.. hmmmm.. -20 degrees! Perfect'

[urfavleo777]

joost klein x fem!oc smut

warnings: fingering, language.

The club near the beach seemed to be a favorite attraction for tourists.

After midnight, every corner was bustling with life, people were constantly smiling and exchanging long discussions at the tables. There was no room for lack of alcohol; every table was decorated with at least one bottle of wine or, in crazy cases, vodka. The music playing in the background pushed guests towards the dance floor, where they danced to the rhythm of fast songs.

“It's only our third day and we have already made this place our tradition.” My friend Lena exclaimed, accidentally spilling her glass of vodka. “Fuck! I knew everything was going too well!”

Amber and I burst into laughter as we watched our friend make sloppy movements to wash away the stinking liquid. Amber was really beautiful. She had large, almost black eyes. Quite strong makeup emphasized her delicate facial features and full lips.

We met her on the first day of our trip in the Netherlands. We bumped into each other while looking for a hotel in Noordwijk; or rather, we were saved by her. The taxi dropped me and Lena off at a remote location, both of our phones were dead, so we didn't know how to get to the hotel. The fact that it was only a few minutes after midnight didn't help at all. I remember thinking we would be stuck there forever.

Fortunately, we found Amber on a dark street where she was returning from work. She calmed us down and helped us find our way. We thanked her, she wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and the next day she took us here; to a lively beachside pub. We've been coming here every night since then.

“Come on, I'll help you wash it off. It's a waste of such a pretty dress.” She said calmly, standing up and leading Lena towards the door marked with a triangle symbol. Lena's crimson lips curved into a slight smile and she looked at me, her look instantly revealing her shock and nervousness. Oh, I knew exactly how Lena felt about Amber. She told me that the day after we met, they exchanged messages. I often caught her smiling at the phone, but out of respect for them, I chose to act as if I knew nothing.

“We'll be right back, Y/n. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice gentleman who will make your evening even more pleasant!” A smirk appeared on Lena's face. I rolled my eyes, hiding my amusement.

“Have fun and don’t get lost this time!” Amber called after me and giggled.

“Maybe you'd better not come back!” I stuck my tongue out at them in a mocking way.The girls gave me the middle finger before the door finally closed.

I sighed, taking a sip of vodka, washing it down with Pepsi. I felt the vibrations on my body, despite my fatigue I felt the call of the music. There was a smell of alcohol in the air and the smell of smoke released from time to time from under the DJ console. 

After one glass of alcohol in a row, I stopped feeling tired. A dance floor full of dancing people seemed damn tempting. The thumping bass and catchy beats effectively encouraged me to devote myself to the music. 

Seconds and minutes passed and the girls didn't come back. White light flashed from the ceiling from time to time, blinding for a second. I squinted a bit and checked the time on my phone. 01:01 AM.

Suddenly I felt someone's eyes on me. This may sound funny because, hey, I was just in a crowded club, it's normal for people to look at each other. But this was different, I felt frustrated when someone was staring at me and I didn't even know who.

I looked up from my phone and then I saw him.  A few tables in front of me, a man sat alone, sipping a drink. His blond hair was messy and disheveled, and he was wearing thick-rimmed glasses. Something moved strangely inside me when our eyes met. He gave me a brave smirk that it sent shivers down my spine.

When he realized that I had exposed him, he took off his glasses and put them on the table. However, he was too far away for me to get a good look at his facial features. I noticed that he was holding a cigarette in the fingers of his right hand. He took a drag of it, watching me in concentration. Is smoking even allowed in clubs?

Girl, you're in the Netherlands. I reminded myself.

“Y/n!” I heard someone shouting my name as I turned back and saw Amber and Lena running towards me. When they both took their seats, I had a perfect view of their rosy cheeks, uneven breathing and the abashed glances they were sending to each other. I suppressed a smile with a clear throat. “I'm sorry you had to wait so long. Lena got her dress so dirty that we had to take it all off to clean it.”

Why is everybody having sex except me?

“Oh, I can certainly imagine that. Actually, I’m tired of sitting in one place all the time. How about hitting the dance floor?”

“Finally! I thought you'd never ask!” Lena squealed, grabbing both of our hands.

About half a minute later we were in a different state of consciousness. The colorful spotlights seemed brighter and the music seemed louder. We were jumping to the rhythm of some electronic song, shouting its lyrics to each other. The song was in a foreign language and it was the first time I heard it, so Amber was probably the only one in our group who sang the lyrics correctly. My legs were burning with fire. It's been a long time since I spent such a long time on the dance floor dancing non-stop, but I enjoyed it. 

Now I was much closer to the table of the man who was staring at me with incredible passion.

I looked at him again, and when we made eye contact, he winked at me. The stranger, dressed in black jeans and a gray hoodie, stared at me with an unreadable expression, blonde hair falling across his forehead. I didn't even know his name, but everything about him was suddenly stirring something inside me. His blonde hair. High cheek bones. His mustache. The tattoos on his hands. His smile too. It was something I couldn't look away from. As if I'd seen him somewhere before, but couldn’t recall where.

When “Careless whisper” started playing and Amber and Lena started to get closer to each other, I decided to leave them alone.

I gave a thumbs up to give Lena courage. She smiled shyly and placed her hands on Amber's waist. I apologized to the people around me and left the dance floor, heading outside. I needed to get some fresh air, and more specifically, listen to the sound of the sea waves.

The night was cold and the wind bit at my bare arms, chills running through my body. I sat down on the sand and scolded myself for not bringing anything to cover my head and shoulders. 

I inhaled sharply and then listened to my heartbeat because I was alone. I didn't worry about getting my dress dirty. It was worth it for this view. 

I started to feel dizzy. I felt like I was about to fall asleep. I shouldn’t have drank too much.

"Enjoyed dancing to one of my songs, huh?" I suddenly heard a raspy voice from behind me. I turned around to experience the biggest shock of my life. It was the same man who had ogled me in the club. I looked at him with wide eyes. The moonlight fell on him, making his honey skin shine, while the wind blew, making his hair move gently. Even the moon wasn't as beautiful as him.

I scrunched my nose. I tried to recreate all the songs I danced to in my head. I didn't have to wait long until he finally sat down next to me.

“You're a musician?”

He let out a small chuckle and, oh my God, his laugh was so hot. 

“Yeah, something like that. But lately people have gotten used to calling me Europapa. I guess, I don't have a name anymore.” I laughed at his words. After his hint, I was finally able to figure out what song he was the author of.

“Ah, it's you. I knew you reminded me of someone. In my country, people already made you a global superstar.”  He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked.

“Oh, really? Where are you from?”

I nodded. “Poland, straight from the capital. How about you, Joost?”

I used his name for the first time since I could finally remember it. Judging by the expression on his face, I had to amuse him with my pronunciation because he started laughing. The smile disappeared from my face.

“No, no, no. Mh, I live in Leeuwarden, but currently I’m on tour. Came here in order to relieve my stress a bit. And you can call me whatever you want.”

I almost offered him another way to relieve his stress. It took all my might to hold back my laughter.

“Oh, I feel flattered.”

For a moment I looked at his shapely lips. Of course, he noticed that.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.” I mumbled in a quiet voice, not knowing what to say.

“Can I get your name?” He asked finally.

“It's Y/n.” I said honestly, looking straight into his blue eyes. “Do you have anything to explain how you were devouring me with your eyes earlier?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, mentally scolding myself. I really should learn to keep my mouth shut.

I looked up, immediately seeing a wide smile on Joost's face.

“Sorry. You're just so fucking pretty, I couldn't help myself.”

I bit my lip, suppressing a loud moan. I hated myself for how much he affected me.

“Can I?” He asked before placing his hand on my bare thigh. I nodded excitedly, waiting for him to move, which made him laugh a little.

“Mh- yes. Please.” I added with a pleading look on my face.

He dragged his hand slowly to my inner thigh, tossing my leg over his thigh, and made a low humming noise that vibrated from his chest.

Before I knew it, Joost's lips were smushed against mine in a passionate kiss. I gasped into his mouth as I melted against his lips, my hands resting comfortably on his muscled arms as his laid against my warm neck. Joost grasped the underside of my thighs and pulled me off the ground, wrapping my legs around his hips. 

“Joost..” I moaned breathily as his puffy lips attacked my neck, “I need you.”

“Of course you do, who wouldn't?” He teased, leading me towards his car. It was so dark that even if someone had been on that beach with us, wouldn’t have noticed us.

“Such a narcissist.”

Joost chuckled, “You know, if you shut that slutty mouth for once, you'd be so pretty.”

He opened the car door and put me in the back seat. After a while, he closed the door and sat down next to me.

“Oh, Y/n. I will give your body exactly what it deserves.” He said, a wide grin on his face as he leaned down to kiss me once more.

I bit my bottom lip and answered with one simple word.

“Yes.”

Joost wasted no time. He placed me on his lap and rolled up my tight dress. He moved his hands all over my body, making me go crazy.

“Your body is art.” He murmured.

His eyes pierced through mine, his gaze so intense that I almost melted on top of him. My hand shyly reached for his, playing around with his fingers and I moved my eyes down to look at what we were doing. “Is that what you want?” His voice was soft as if to not scare me away. “You want my fingers?” I looked in his eyes again and nodded my head quickly, feeling a tingling sensation on my stomach from the excitement. His other hand came up to caress my cheek and a little smirk could be seen on his lips. 

I moved on his lap when I was ready and one of his hands grabbed my hip while the other one ran up and down my thigh.

“Please.” I moaned, grasping his forearm tightly as I scrunched my face up in pleasure.

His fingertips brushed through my folds, coating them in my juices and I whined when I felt him rub slowly at my clit. “You're a soaking mess, baby.” His voice was so calm, a contrast to how shaky my breath was.

I gasped and he started applying more pressure to my clit. He eased one of his fingers inside me and a soft moan left my lips, my hips moving to ride his finger, his eyes intensely staring at me. “More.” I whined quietly.

“More?” He smirked and inserted another finger, feeling how my walls clenched around his digits, his hand moving to match the movements of my hips, thrusting his finger in and out of my pussy and I could ear the wet sounds it did.

“I'm so c-close, Joost. Just like that.” I moaned louder, locking his fingers between my legs. 

“Cum on my fingers, baby.”

“Oh God,” I cried out as wave after wave of pleasure rocked through my body.

When I was done, he slowly removed his fingers from my pussy, moving them to his mouth, sucking my juices from them, grunting at the taste of me which made me sigh heavily at the sight in front of me.

“Take off your pants, Joost.”

“Of course, baby.” He chuckled, politely following my order.

[strawberrystepmom]

sanemi x f!reader. suggestive fluff, feelings exploration, established relationship (sort of?) | divider thanks to @cafekitsune, wc 1k

“Hold still.”

The statement isn’t an outright command but Sanemi can tell he is not being asked, he is being told to keep from shifting beneath your touch. You drag a bar of clean scented soap over the back of his neck, reaching over his shoulder to rub the bar across his chest. He captures your hand and takes it from you, finishing the job down the front of his body independently.

“Here.”

He holds the bar over his shoulder when finished and you grab it, placing it on the lip of the tub. The washcloth wrapped around your hand is next to get lathered up. You rub circles between his shoulder blades with the same soft cloth you’ve used on your own skin. The soap leaves translucent bubbles across his skin, popping light as air when you blow on them gently. The temperature difference between the steam rising from the bathwater and your breath causes goosebumps to erupt across his scarred flesh.

“Hey, quit that.” He tilts his head backwards, hair flopping, wisteria eyes locked on your little smile. You know exactly what you’re doing. “You’re supposed to be scrubbin’ not playin’.” Giggling, you nod and dip the cloth back into the water. You dare lean forward until your lips nearly brush against his exposed forehead, breathlessly wondering when he’ll get skittish.

It may not happen tonight considering he was the one brave enough to join you to begin with yet you wait for one breath…two breaths…and his distance never comes. It’s a relief and you proceed with what your heart is crying out for you to do; to simply lavish him with the love you feel he deserves.

“Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

Your lips brush against him with every word you speak, breath fanning against his sweat dotted forehead. This is far from the first time he has been this close to you or seen you nude, breasts swaying with every move you make, it’s merely the first time he's come to the realization that he wants to end his evenings like this every single day - terrifying for a man who resigned as a child to spend his life alone.

Has he ever been handled so tenderly? Perhaps long ago, in days he doesn’t remember outside of tattered pieces he can’t make sense of during nightmares. A time when he was loved and adored; a time he let go of before he could develop any attachment to it. He fears it’s too late for him to do the same with you.

“I need to wash your hair too,” you remind him with raised brows, dropping the cloth to cup your hands and scoop water to dump over his shoulders.

You kiss his forehead and he grumbles in response though you spend little more than a moment doing it. Shifting, you quickly lean backward to let him tilt his head forward, the muscles in his neck taut in this position. Admiring them and humming to yourself, you lift your cupped hands to dump water down the back of his neck and head, droplets sluicing down his back and returning from where they once came. You drag your fingers through his thick strands, gently massaging his scalp and he lets out an involuntary satisfied moan, shoulders hunching forward.

Giggling, you lean forward and rest your chin on his shoulder, hands still working. “Feel good?” Your lips touch his neck, just beneath his ear, eliciting a shiver in response. He allows you a few more moments of indulgence, scrubbing his scalp and gently yanking on the strands before abruptly sitting up and turning to face you, water sloshing gently near the edges of the tub as he does so.

Eyes following his every move, you sit back to accommodate him and rest between his legs that are stretched on either side of you, your knees pulled to your chest. You scoot forward and situate yourself fully between his legs, your thighs and calves thrown on either side of his hips, straddling him. He sighs, shaking his head, one hand falling to the small of your back to keep you upright and steady.

Despite himself, he’s grateful for your attentiveness and eagerness to care for him. Sanemi will always be slightly more subtle in the way he shows his affection but he can tell you feel it judging solely by the way you glance up at him, eyes practically twinkling with adoration.

What did he do to deserve this and how can he get you to stop?

He runs a hand through his slightly sudsy hair. “Why are you doing all this for me? I can scrub my own back and wash my own hair.” Shrugging, you half smile and swipe the cloth over his chest, tracing the pattern of the scars that cross it in either direction. “Because I love you and know that you deserve it.”

You love him. You’ve told him the same thing though in far more compromising positions, babbling it senselessly while he has been between your legs with his lips and tongue, learning how to love a woman without words. You’ve shown him you mean it beyond just this evening spent in cooling water. He opens his mouth to respond but shuts it just as quickly. You continue, scrubbing up his neck and down his biceps, spending extra time on his underarms and the crook of his elbow.

“Are you gonna let me finish washing your hair or did you want to do it yourself?” You interrupt the silence, knowing he’s thinking rather than giving you the cold shoulder. This is new to him and comfort is paramount in dealing with matters of the heart, something you’ve learned during your time spent with him.

Thinking for a beat longer, he finally nods. “Yeah, you can finish.”

Heat rises in your cheeks as he uses his hand on the small of your back to tilt you forward, your chest pressed against his, giving you the exact angle and position needed to complete your task. Sanemi presses a kiss against your clavicle, thumb rubbing small circles against your skin. His eyes flutter shut while you work.

He could do this forever.

[stylespresleyhearted]

POV: YOU’RE DATING CALLUM TURNER

or the one where i pretend i am Callum’s girlfriend (and also tagging @precious-little-scoundrel on this bc I GOTTA)

liked by yourinstagram and 56204 others

tmznews Callum Turner spotted with a mystery girl! Is the new heartthrob off the market? Link in bio for everything TMZ has on his new gal.

view all comments

user23 the invasion of privacy … yikes

user12 What does it say about me if I read the article because tbh I’m curious

fan12 don’t do it, lets respect their privacy

callumupdates Don’t give TMZ any clicks. Look at the horrible quality of the photos, they obviously weren’t supposed to obtain these. Callum will share when he is ready.

yourfriendsig At least she’s pretty 😍

yourinstagram stopppp haha

liked by rafflaw, anthonyboyle, and others

yourinstagram soft launching my man bc he’s hot and i love him ❣️ (oh yeah and tmz exposed us)

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fan12 GIRL THIS IS A HARD LAUNCH NOTHING SOFT ABOUT IT!!!!

user41 crrrryingggg omg iconic

user23 lol attention seeker

yourfriendsig It took me three years to be IG official with you, why does he get special treatment 😒

yourusername take a guess 😉

keoghan92 @tmznews you suck

liked by fan12 and 63917 others

deuxmoi Spotted: Callum Turner and his girlfriend at a pub in downtown London. Looks like no more hiding for this couple. Sources tell me they’re in love and don’t care who knows it.

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fan12 wahhh they’re so cute

user23 i’m so jealous but i also ship it so hard

fan41 my friend saw them making out at a diner last week lmao she said they were eating each other not the food

liked by austinbutler and 36072 others

yourinstagram so proud and moved to tears ♥️ the entire cast and crew did a great job honoring these brave men

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fan12 we love a supportive gf

fan41 what a great picture fr

user23 I met y/n at the event tonight and she was the sweetest, most HILARIOUS person its easy to see why Callum is in love with her ❤️

liked by yourinstagram, rafflaw, and 78912 others

anthonyboyle One Direction

view all comments

user97 OMGGG they’re so hot wtf

yourinstagram more like Wrong Direction

keoghan92 you think you’re funny huh

yourinstagram Callum finds me funny 🥲

rafflaw he’s biased he’s in love with u

fan91 cryingg she’s a part of the mota fam 💍🥹

liked by keoghan92 and others

yourinstagram hi movie star ♥️ i love you - your biggest fan

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rafflaw 💍💍💍👀

yourfriendsig @rafflaw LMAO DONT START THE RUMORS

appletv Mr & Mrs Egan spin off?

keoghan92 sappy

yourinstagram @sabrinacarpenter

liked by yourinstagram and 639 others

yourfriendsig good times

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user91 … the hand on her ass … making out … CALLUM TURNER I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

yourinstagram why would you post this when you know im missing him 🥺

yourinstagram brb omw to ft him

fan23 i love the way y/n loves him she isn’t afraid to be a normal girlfriend

liked by anthonyboyle, keoghan92, austinbutler, and 941633 others

yourinstagram social media making fun of me for this but if he was your man you’d get it 😌 i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ♥️♥️

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fan12 if i didn’t see my bf for a week i’d react the same way people need to mind their business

yourinstagram it was only three days but yes your point still stands 😆

yourfriendsig y/n you’re an icon

fan92 i love them so fucking much pls adopt me

yourinstagram okay! ♥️

liked by austinbutler, rafflaw, and 76043 others

yourinstagram someone tell y/n not to leave her phone unlocked 🤣🤣🥳 - anthony & barry here!

edit: got my phone back. can’t bring myself to delete my boyfriend looks so cute. i guess barry and anthony look okay.

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fan23 LMAO PLS HOW DID THEY STEAL HER PHONE !!!😂😂CALLUM TAKE IT BACK!

yourinstagram he was supposed to hold it for me it didn’t fit in my clutch and he sided w the enemies 🥺

anthonyboyle New profile picture?

yourinstagram i’ll kill you

yourinstagram also i think it’s important for everyone to know @keoghan92 stuck his hand down my boyfriends pants pocket to get my phone

keoghan92 and i liked it

anthonyboyle 😂😂😂

—

The End

Ahhhhhh making this was so much fun!!! Y/N is a bit shameless in her adoration for her man but that’s the point!!! I’d be the same if he was mine (I mean look at Vanessa Kirby and Dua Lipa lmao)

Marina this is for us because this man deserves our love we’d make him so happy 🙌🏼

It was supposed to be silly and funny so don’t give me shit obviously celeb relationships would be a lot more private. And for bonus fun check this out ⬇️

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Unpredictable Part 3-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: AAAH, thank you for all the support on this. I didn't think it'd be a series but I can't stop writing.

Warnings: toxic parents, body shaming, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and swearing

Words: 7.7k

Series Masterlist

 “…and that’s how I knew that I was meant to do charity work,” the nasal redhead concluded.

That afternoon, the Si Chi house was packed with pledges in floral or puffy Selkie and Miss Selfridge sun dresses. A handful of servers circulated the foyer with trays of orange juice and mimosas. The combination of Prada Candy and Viktor Rolfe Flowerbomb made my head spin but I smiled through it as I nodded at different pledges’ stories. All of them were desperately trying to toe the line between interesting and bragging because one could never act too important for a potential house.

“That’s great news,” I glanced at her name tag, “Brenda since Si Chi regularly engages in philanthropic work.”

 Brenda smiled widely, making the hot pink blush on her cheeks even more prominent. “I know, that’s why I’m so interested in joining this---your house.”

“Well, we are glad that you took the time to visit us. Would you excuse me?”

As I weaved my way through the foyer, I plucked a mimosa from a passing server and started sipping. Exactly five seconds passed until I was surrounded by a new crop of bright-eyed freshmen.

“Oh my gosh, are you Y/N Y/L/N?” a willowy brunette asked.

“Guilty, and you are?”

“She’s Justine,” a shorter brunette interrupted.

Justine narrowed her eyes and thinly covered the glare with a smile. “I can introduce myself, thanks, Renee.”

Renee shrunk a little in her oversized light blue sundress and I glanced at Justine.

“So, why are you interested in our house?” I asked.

Justine straightened up and smiled like a pageant girl. “Well, I’m perfectly aligned with all the values of Si Chi: Sisterhood, respect, and intelligence. I am all about women empowerment and I respect people from all backgrounds----I’m exposed to a bunch of different people as an actress, anyway.”

“What about intelligence?”

“Well, I think there’s many different kinds of intelligence and, as an actress, I’m emotionally intelligent to the point where I’m exhausted by everyone else’s energy.”

“She really has to prioritize self-care,” Renee added.

“It’s great that you’re aware of that for yourself.”

She had to be one of the least self-aware people I ever encountered and that was a difficult fete. However, her socials had decent numbers and she had been in a few Vought Plus movies, which would help her win Sydney and Lydia, the vice president, over. The next two years with her and her friend would be irritating.

A softer expression slipped across Justine’s face, and she took a step towards me. “I just want to say that I think it’s so brave that you’ve been participating in all the rush events despite your traumatic experience. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Luke,” she paused and placed a hand on her chest, “kill himself.”

Though it had been a week since, it still felt like a bomb rolled off Justine’s tongue when she said it. The wave of emotions that I experienced in that time was hard to describe; Shetty said that grief was a rollercoaster, and the influx of emotions was normal.

“As impossible as it may seem, one day you will come to accept what happened,” she’d advised. “You may experience more anxiety but, with your network, I am sure you will be able to cope.”

The network she referred to was strained at best and destroyed at worst. My “sisters” were as supportive as they could be: Alina gave me a Lush self-care kit, Sasha was not nearly as antagonizing as usual, Lydia gave me grief book recommendations, and Sydney let me pick what workout classes we attended. Emma and Cate were the only non-Si Chi people I spoke to since it was way too difficult to speak to the others.

Justine placed her hand on my shoulder. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you can count on me.”

“Thank you for the thought,” I replied, smiling tightly.

“You must be so grateful that Marie was there to stop him,” Renee quipped.

I sipped some more juice to keep the confusing feelings from bubbling up. Nothing could have prepared me for Marie and Andre being propped as the Guardians of Godolkin, which was arguably the dumbest name Vought could give them. The less I wanted to see them, the more I saw their promos and videos. It was horrible that the last time we spoke we had a fight but every time I saw her, I felt a weird wrench in my chest.

At the very least, Emma seemed happy for her.

Then, Coco Allen, a Si Chi junior, appeared from the crowd and squeezed between the freshmen. “There you are, Y/N, I have a crim freshman with a water manipulation ability who wants to pick your brain.”

“Sure. Will you excuse me?”

“Bye!” Renee called as Coco pulled me through the crowd.

When we got to the less populated living room, I exhaled a breath I did not know I was holding. Then, I turned to the beaming Coco.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome. You know I hate entitled freshmen,” Coco mused.

Coco was the only other black girl in Si Chi and happened to be the first one to talk to me when I visited the house last year. She was a little shorter than me with deep mahogany skin that always glowed. She always wore her waist-length jet-black hair in tight curls and accessorized solely with gold jewelry. That day, she wore a fitted white sundress with espadrilles.

“Were there this many last year?” I asked.

Coco shook her head. “But there are a few more black girls so it’s promising.”

“That’s great! I hope I can find them before the event’s over.”

“That would be great.” Coco eyed me. “So, how are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, the mimosas don’t hurt though.”

“They never do. You didn’t have to come today, you know, you could have taken more time, get out of here for a minute.”

I shook my head. “I needed this, it’s a nice distraction or, it has been. Besides, what would it look like if the secretary didn’t attend?”

Coco nodded slowly but I could tell that the gears in her head were turning too much for her to be convinced. “You’re already Sydney and Lydia’s favorite and they might have let it slide.”

I cocked my head at her and she immediately started chuckling half-heartedly.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. The hoops they make us jump through are ridiculous,” Coco reflected.

“It makes sense why you didn’t want to be an officer even though you’re poli sci,” I commented.

Coco grinned. “Hey, I’m making decent connections just by being in this house. This is just a steppingstone on my path to become the first black woman supe president.”

Even though the title was long, if anyone could do it, it was Coco. One time last year I sat in on one of her debates in class and she had a senior in tears and their debate partner ready to put their laser eyes to good use.

“Well, don’t forget little ole me when you’re a big shot,” I teased.

Coco frowned. “What do you mean ‘little’? You have done too much to talk like that.”

I shrugged. “Not that they’re not as important but my four-year plan is less impressive than yours.”

“Oh yeah, the plan where you basically end up a trophy wife? No shade but, I think you’d be way too bored in that role.”

“Hey, I would have a city contract too. Plus, it’s what I want and what I see for myself every time I look into the future. Every step I have taken up until this point puts me closer to that.”

My voice was much stronger than I thought it would be but Coco was always pushing me. Some days it was motivating and on others, it was infuriating.

“Like I said, I’m not trying to crush your dreams or your plan but is that really all you want for yourself? Especially thinking about all the good you’re already doing with your powers?” Coco questioned.

Her words plagued me for the rest of the event and bugged me when we gave our ratings of the pledges to Sydney and Lydia.

“Oh, and Y/N, don’t forget to send me that compilation with all the pledges’ socials,” Sydney requested as I was on my way out of the foyer.

“Of course, you’ll have it by the end of the day.”

Everything was much quieter underwater, except for my thoughts, but those were much clearer. Every time I thought about where I would be in five years, it was the same: smiling at a city event on the arm of some suit. I never saw the man’s face but I knew he had to be somewhat attractive. My eyes fluttered closed at the bottom of the pool and I focused on my future.

It was the same image, complete with flashing cameras and I was wearing a gorgeous rose pink Oscar de la Renta gown. My hair was piled on top of my head in Senegalese twists, and I was smiling widely. However, when I tried to look at whose arm I was on, it was like I could not turn my head. The harder I tried, the sorer the side of my neck got.

After a few more seconds of trying, I pushed myself up to the surface and sucked in the air. The sky was a mix of orange, purple, and blue. Sydney was blasting “My Head, My Heart”, which signaled that she was getting ready to go out with Eric Landon, the president of Sigma Kappa. It would be nice to be asked on a date, a proper one without the expectations of sex later.

My face warmed at the fact that I had never actually been asked out. People constantly told me how good looking I was but that did not translate into boys falling all over themselves for me. There were the occasional fun nights out but it would always end in that same venue. I didn’t think I asked for too much: flowers, good morning and good night texts, respect, intelligence, and ambition. Emma told me I watched too many movies once and while that could have been true, I also thought that it wasn’t too much to ask a guy to hold a door open.

It also did not help that Jordan was the last person I ever got close to being intimate with. I groaned at the thought and dove underwater, making my way to the other side of the pool.

An almost-kiss should mean absolutely nothing but I could not stop thinking about it, just like I could not stop thinking about how Jordan would throw me under the bus to save themselves. I would never do that to anyone, especially not someone I cared about.

But you already did, the voice in my head hissed.

Marie didn’t count, I didn’t mean to do that; Andre, Luke, Cate, and Jordan decided for me. I would have stayed if it was my choice but that didn’t matter to Marie or any of them.

I pushed myself from the side of the pool and butterfly stroked my way to the other side. Thankfully, the water was heated and soothed my aching muscles. As I was about to resurface, I noted a blurry tall blonde figure standing above me. When I pushed up, Cate stood over me, her eyes worried.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“Hi, can we talk?”

“Sure.”

A few seconds later, I was wrapped in a fluffy towel and standing across from Cate. Her eyes shifted around for a moment before she suggested we headed inside. When we got to my room, she immediately closed the door behind us.

“Is there any way someone would have listening devices in here?” Cate asked.

“No,” I said slowly.

“Are you sure? There’s shit out now where they put it in the tiniest crevices and you would never know,” Cate argued.

“I would have seen it or had a hint about it. What’s going on?”

Cate finally sat on my bed, and I opted to stand across from her. “Andre and I found some stuff that makes Luke and Brink’s deaths way more complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for one thing, they totally cleared out his room the day after he died and I mean everything.”

My eyes widened. “Even the…special drawer?”

“Yes, and at first, I thought it was protocol but what would they do with all those----”

“I get it, Cate, what else did you and Andre find?”

As Cate continued to speak, I could feel my stomach sink further and further, until I was sure it was somewhere in the house basement. Nothing Cate said meant anything positive for anyone. If there was some kind of lab under us, that meant anyone could become a part of it.

“Have you told anyone else?” I asked.

Cate huffed and leaned back on my bed. “Well, Jordan’s been spiraling about Marie and the rankings, so I can’t get a word in about anything else.”

“They’re spiraling?” I asked.

“You haven’t talked to them since Luke died?” Cate asked.

When she said it like that, it sounded like I committed a cardinal sin. After that day, there was nothing else for me to say to them. Even though I saw them in class occasionally, I never spoke to them and desperately tried to avoid eye contact.

“They could have reached out too,” I muttered.

“You’re such a younger sibling,” Cate commented.

“It’s true!” I whined.

“Well, they’ve been freaking out about the rankings since they fell down to number five and Andre’s number one.”

Being in the Top Five was like Jordan’s lifeline. They’d always shared a friendly rivalry with Luke but I knew they wanted to be number one eventually. They spent almost all their time making sure they stayed in a high position and to drop to bottom of the Top Five must have been devastating.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

“Yeah, and your new best friend cracked the Top 100 and is Jordan’s new nemesis,” Cate added.

 I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a chocolate brown loungewear set. “Neither of them are my friends.”

Cate frowned. “Seriously, what is going on with you? The other night, you and Marie were inseparable, and you and Jordan were bantering. What happened?”

It must have been the fact that I was holding all my thoughts and feelings in because I burst.

“Marie and I can’t be friends since she thinks I’m a shallow bitch who would sacrifice her to save myself because I hang out with people who do. The funny part is that Jordan admitted they would backstab me if they could get ahead, which is definitely not something I would do to a friend or anyone I almost kissed!”

I was panting by the end and my chest felt a lot lighter. However, my nerves began to build when I noticed Cate’s mischievous grin.

“Who did you almost kiss?” Cate asked.

“That’s not the point,” I mumbled.

Cate stared at me for a second before lighting up. “It was Jordan, wasn’t it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You hesitated which means I’m right. It could have easily been Marie though since you were all over her.”

“Why do people keep saying that? I was being nice!”

Cate held up her hands in a relaxed defense. “Chill, Y/N, it’s okay to like more than one person at once.”

“I don’t like either of them.”

“At all?” Cate quirked an eyebrow.

“No,” I pouted.

Cate looked unimpressed and I felt even more unimpressed since I knew that I liked Marie and Jordan platonically.

“Okay, we’ll save that for later but, I don’t think Jordan would tell you that they would backstab you and they would not think about it. They would do it to other people, but not you.”

“You’re just saying that because they’re your friend and you weren’t there.”

Cate cocked her head to the side. “Think, Y/N, did Jordan really say, ‘I would backstab you if it would save my ass’?”

As I recalled the memory, I slowly rocked back and forth on my heels. “They didn’t say that but, they didn’t answer me when I asked if they would.” “You probably caught them off guard,” Cate reasoned. “I’m sure if you talked to them, things would go okay.”

I hesitated and set my clothes on my bed. “Let’s say that I decided to speak to them, I don’t know what to say. Even if I did, my class tomorrow isn’t with them.

“You’re not going to the Think Brink gala tomorrow night?” Cate asked.

Earlier that day, Mom mentioned something about a gala on the phone but I was only half-listening. In my defense, there was only so much complaining about her clients and Dad that I could stand. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and “Go to Brink gala” was in bright letters on my calendar.

“I guess I am,” I concluded.

“Then, you have some time to figure it out. You might get lucky and not even have to say anything.” I nodded and messed with the charm on my phone. “But what about Marie?”

“You’ll figure that out too. Indira’s taking her to the gala so, you can get both your ‘friends’ back,” Cate said, putting “friends” in air quotes.

“Why did you do it like that? Don’t say it like that.”

“Just because you’re in denial doesn’t mean I am. Think about it, would you be this freaked out if we had a fight?”

The “yes” should have come immediately but it didn’t; it died in my throat, and I couldn’t look at Cate. Why were things different with Marie and Jordan? Why did I stress out about them when I tried to stop thinking about them?

“Can you just make me say the right thing?” I asked.

Cate mulled it over for a moment. “I think it’s best if you do it yourself. If you don’t have a vision about it, something will come to you.”

“Thanks, Cate. If you and Andre need any help snooping----”

“You will be the first person I text,” Cate assured.

“I was going to say that I’ll probably know before you.”

I narrowly avoided the pillow Cate tossed at me and laughed at her effort.

“Maybe you are getting a little too cocky, Y/N.” She stood and walked over to me. “And for the record, I would never betray you in any way, neither would Andre or Jordan. If either of them did, they would have to deal with me.”

“Thanks, I would hug you but I’m still soaking wet.”

“Yeah, that’s smart. I know this might be useless but try not to worry about everything.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

“You’re taking the meds from Indira?”

“Yes, Mom,” I teased.

“Just trying to help.”

Strangely, that was the first night since Luke’s death that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The trend was that I would strain myself to have premonitions until I was exhausted and tried again in the morning. For once, sleep found me quickly.

After sitting through a two-hour lecture on trauma’s impact on villains and heroes, I was more than happy to wander back to the Si Chi house and decompress. In a few hours, Talia, Mom’s assistant, would arrive with options for the gala. Then, the glam team would arrive and do their best to ignore Mom while they did their jobs.

I needed all the relaxation I could get.

 As I was mentally reviewing which movies I could watch, my phone kept buzzing in my back pocket. I thought it was another flurry of comments on the TikTok Coco and I made yesterday but it was from a strange number.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Y/N, pls come 2 my dorm, it’s an emergency.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Im srry we haven’t talked in a while but it’s important.

I frowned and typed back, ????

XXX-XXX-XXXX: It’s Marie. Emma’s in trouble.

My stomach dropped and I replied, B there soon.

As I raced around other people on campus, my thoughts moved faster at the possibility of what could have been going on with Emma. The last time I had spoken to her was two days ago and she was okay then. If anything, she may have been tense because Marie and I were not speaking but she had not said anything else.

I was halfway to their dorm when I ran into something solid.

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N,” Maverick sneered.

“If you put on some clothes, maybe I’d see you,” I shot back as I continued down the hall.

When I finally got to their dorm, I was panting and could barely knock. Marie pulled the door open, pulled me in, and closed the door behind me.

“Did you sprint here?” she asked.

I nodded. “You said…it was…an….emergency…Emma.”

In the middle of me grabbing my bearings, I noticed something tiny next to one of the supports on Emma’s bed. Slowly, I slid to my knees and crawled over to it. When I realized who it was, a choked gasp escaped my mouth.

“What happened?” I whispered.

“I don’t know. She was like that when I got here and I didn’t know what to do so I called you since you’ve known her the longest,” Marie rambled.

Her words barely registered in my brain as I went to one of Emma’s drawers, grabbed a small set of clothes, wrapped her in it, and carefully set her on her bed. Emma was barely breathing and was ghostly pale.

“Emma, I know you’re probably not going to like this but, you’re going to need to eat something.”

She didn’t reply and for a second, I wondered if she could.

I started rifling through all her stuff until I found a box of crackers. My hands trembled as I broke them into small pieces and kneeled in front of Emma. She never looked at me as she nibbled on each crumb I fed her.

Eventually, she grew back to her normal size. As soon as she was, she pulled her knees to her chest.

“I’m sorry you saw me like that,” she muttered.

Slowly, I sat next to her and it was almost the same way zookeepers treated wild animals. If one moved calmly enough, they would not get attacked. Marie sat on her bed.

“It’s okay, I’m glad we were able to help,” I replied. “What happened?”

Emma sniffed. “I opened up to this girl in my class. We’re scene partners for a project and we were talking, and I guess I felt comfortable enough to tell her about how I get small. I thought it was just between us, but she posted this…this video on YouTube telling the whole world about it.”

“Who’s the girl?” Marie asked.

“How do you get small?” I uttered at the same time.

Emma froze for a moment and looked away from me. “I make myself…sick.”

When she said it, I suddenly remembered all those times she would go to the bathroom and then come out a miniature version of herself. However, all those times, it was for different commercials or other work-related events. Then again, there had to be times when she did it at home or at my house.

How did I never notice? “Emma, I’m so sorry. I wish you would’ve told me sooner,” I said.

Emma turned to me with a glare in her eyes. “Really? How would I work that into a conversation? ‘Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry to interrupt but, I make myself throw up to get small’?”.

“We’re friends, friends tell each other this kind of thing,” I insisted.

Emma scoffed. “Please, like you would get it if I told you. You’re perfect, you always have been. Your face, your hair, your body, your eyes, your life!”

“That’s not fair.”

“Emma, I think you need to get help,” Marie interrupted.

Emma’s gaze flickered to hers and I thought she might set Marie on fire. “I need to get help, that’s rich coming from you. You act like no one can see your scars.”

Marie flinched and her eyes narrowed slightly. “I do that for my powers, that’s different.”

Emma laughed callously. “Please, at least be honest. How about this: I’ll go to therapy when you admit to cutting.”

Emma’s voice had no tone and every word she said was like a hammer slamming into my chest. She wasn’t in the right headspace for any conversation and I kept reminding myself as I stood.

“We should talk later when we’ve all calmed down,” I suggested.

“I don’t want to speak to either of you again,” she hissed.

It took more effort than usual to swallow the lump in my throat as I let myself out of their dorm. Just as I was about to lean against the door and wallow, Marie slipped out behind me and shut the door. I took a step back, barely avoiding a pair of girls rushing past.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s fine.”

Silence filled the space for a moment, and I had no idea how to fill it. Cate said I would know what to say but I was at a loss.

“I’m sorry about what I said…that day,” Marie delivered gently.

My eyes snapped up at her. “Oh.”

She sighed. “I was just angry, and I thought you were a part of it but, Emma kept saying that you would never do something like that. I just didn’t know how to reach out or say anything.”

I know the feeling.

“I accept your apology but I’m also sorry that no one came back for you. I guess it worked out, though?”

Marie sighed and leaned against her door. “Sort of. The perks are nice and I’m in crim now but I feel like everyone’s looking at me and expects something from me; almost like they’re waiting for me to fail.”

“Really? They had me convinced you’d be the black Starlight,” I teased.

Marie laughed half-heartedly. “I still want to be a hero, though, someone like her people can look up to.”

“Anyone in particular?”

Marie hesitated. “My little sister. We were both obsessed with heroes when we were younger, but I was the one who got Compound V. She always looked up to me and I want to be someone who would make her proud.”

“That’s a really admirable goal,” I complimented.

She smiled softly. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be my competition to be the black Starlight?”

My expression faltered and I looked down at my French acrylics. “No, I don’t think I have the showmanship you do. Besides, my goal isn’t to be in the Seven.”

“Really? What do you want to do?” Marie asked.

“So, I have this four year plan and if I follow the steps I am on to a T, I will graduate with a city contract and be engaged to an eligible supe.”

Usually, when I told someone my four year plan, my chest swelled and my shoulders rolled back unconsciously. This time, it felt like I was a toddler showing my mom a drawing I made in school.

“Is that it?” Marie asked.

“I know it’s more traditional and maybe even a little lame but, it’s what I want,” I maintained.

Marie nodded slowly.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just imagined you doing something in, like, criminal AI or stopping criminals from re-offending.”

“Both are great, they’re just not me.”

“Which is fine,” Marie insisted.

She sounded a little too eager but I let it go as we started walking down the hallway.

“What should we do about Emma?” Marie asked.

“I’ve never seen her like that before but she’ll need time to cool off.”

“Sounds good, I just have nowhere to go until the gala tonight.”

“You could come to Si Chi for a bit. I can’t promise they won’t try to initiate you, though.”

Marie laughed. “Me, in a sorority?”

“Hey, we’re getting more black girls this year so you never know!”

“Whatever but, yeah, I’d like to hang out with you…at your house.”

Even though Marie rushed the last part, a smile quirked on the corners of my mouth. It would be nice to have a new friend over and it was even nicer that there was no more tension between us.

“You know, Emma never told us the name of that girl,” Marie pondered once we got outside.

“Oh, that’s easy.” I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the right one.

Shelby answered on the first ring. “Y/N, hi!” “Hey, are you on your way to class?” I asked.

“Yeah, if I’m late one more time, Professor Elix is going to make me do an improv one-woman show!” she panted.

“Well, I don’t want to slow you down but, you have class with Emma Meyer, right?”

“Oh yeah, Intro to Stage, why?”

“Cool. She told me her stage partner has an incredible Insta aesthetic, but she never told me her name and I need new inspo.”

“Oh, that’s Justine. I don’t know her last name but I’m sure you’ll find her.”

“Thanks, Shelby. Have fun in class.”

“Thanks!”

I hung up and turned to Marie, whose eyebrows were raised. “What?”

“What was that voice?” Marie asked.

“It was my voice. Haven’t you heard of code-switching?”

“Fine. Did you get the name?”

“Yes, Justine and I’ve met her.”

“What? How?”

“She’s rushing Si Chi.” I couldn’t keep the devilish smile from working its way into my mouth.

“What does that look mean?” Marie asked.

“It means that there are many more perks to being in a top house besides living in it.”

For some reason, everyone thinks that white girls have a monopoly on passive aggression and relational aggression. That was not the case at all; black girls simply are more inclined towards active aggression but we’re capable of both. I proved as much during Brink’s gala.

The ballroom was packed with board members, trustees, alumni, and the wealthiest GOD U students, the latter being my target of interest. They were all easy to approach since I had met them at some function or another.

“Y/N,” Bianca Peterson gushed as she hugged me.

Her Gucci Guilty perfume tickled my nose and I willed myself not to sneeze as I politely pulled away from her. “Bianca, it’s been too long. I think the last time I saw you was at Beta Ro’s Brunch for Boy Scouts.”

Bianca nodded, light auburn curls bouncing around her sculpted features. “Yes, we bonded over jewelry.”

“And you still have fantastic taste,” I mentioned, gesturing to the gold buckle around her wrist.

“Thank you, it was a present from Theo but I gave him a few hints,” she bragged lightly.

“How is rush going?” I asked.

“Pretty well, our pledges are shaping up nicely this year, not that they don’t every year,” she quickly added the last part.

“Of course. Do you have a lot of girls from Counting?”

“We’re interested in a couple, why? Are you trying to poach?”

I shook my head. “Not at all, I just wasn’t sure if you heard what Layla from Zeta Nu discovered.”

Bianca raised a microbladed brow. “No, I don’t think I have.”

I took a deep inhale and slowly shook my head in disbelief. “Oh, well, I should let it come from her then.”

A moment later, Bianca glanced across the room at Layla Ruthers, the president of Zeta Nu, who was smiling politely at a pair of hunched-over old men.

“In case I don’t have a chance to talk to her, what happened?” Bianca asked.

I glanced around us for a moment before leaning closer. “Apparently, a freshman posted a video about another girl’s eating disorder.”

“Really?” Bianca’s eyes widened.

I nodded. “Layla was insulted for the other girl and banned the pledge from rushing Zeta Nu. She even said that no respectable house would accept someone so low-class.”

“Oh,” Bianca uttered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up all your time. I should go mingle.”

I made it about two steps before Bianca gently grabbed one of my arms.

“Wait, Y/N. Did Layla say the name of the pledge?”

My eyes wandered around the twinkling lights of the room for a second. “Justine something, I think.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

“Sure!”

The rest of my conversations followed that pattern. Each girl I spoke to was shocked and horrified by my words. Plus, none of them would dare speak to the other; that would mean another house had better information than them. My final target was easily the most important one: Sydney.

In her ice-blue mermaid dress and intricate updo, she looked more like Cinderella than a gala attendee. She was standing at a table, nodding her head at something a shorter guy was saying.

“Excuse me,” I politely interrupted, “I need to borrow Sydney for a second.”

The guy deflated slightly. “Sure.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Sydney huffed a sigh of relief as soon as we were out of earshot. “Thank you, I don’t know what he was even talking about.”

“Anytime,” I replied.

She snatched a champagne flute from a passing server and downed half of it. “I can’t wait for this night to be over.”

I nodded. “It is morbid despite their attempt to dress it up.”

“Yeah, and my parents won’t stop bugging me about my future. I can only apply to so many internships and not everyone is looking for a telekinetic,” she griped. “Sorry, how are you?”

“I’m alright. Ironically, I think he’d hate the name they picked but I didn’t know him super well,” I admitted.

“Right.”

Here it goes.

“So, I think the event the other day was a success,” I commented.

“Definitely. The house was packed. It’s too bad we can’t accept them all.”

Sydney smiled as she spoke.

“I know. It’s great that there’s so much interest.” I paused for a second. “But, I wanted to tell you that something came up with one of the pledges.”

Sydney gestured for me to continue.

“Even though my social media deep dive on the pledges was thorough, something came up today that I thought you should know when considering the pledges,” I explained.

“Okay.”

“Today, Justine posted a video exposing another girl’s eating disorder. Several of the girls were upset when they saw it.”

“That’s awful,” Sydney responded.

“It’s also so disappointing since I met Justine during that event, and she was saying how women empowerment is important to her. I know that women empowerment is a huge passion for you and a foundation for Si Chi and to imagine a pledge so willing to tear down another woman infiltrating the safe space you building is horrifying.”

Despite the liquor, I could tell Sydney was processing my words quicker than any computer. Her expression shifted from shock to anger to coldness. Then, she finished the last of her champagne and set it on the table closest to us. “Thank you for telling me, Y/N. I’ll see you later.”

As she walked away, I grinned widely at the response. Bid Day was going to be even more fun and interesting than last year. To celebrate, I grabbed myself a flute of champagne and sipped it as I started to wander the room.

“Y/N!”

My body froze at the masculine voice and my mind raced with what to say or do. Finally, I decided to face Jordan. They were in their masculine form and standing at a table by themselves. Though they looked fantastic in their navy suit, they looked like they hadn’t slept in days.

“Hello.”

I practically sang it and prayed for someone to make the floor swallow me.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Um, sure.” I walked closer to their table and rested my forearms on it.

 “It’s good to see you,” he started. “Outside of class, I mean.”

“You too.”

Jordan nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s good.” He paused. “I’m sorry about everything.”

I looked up from tapping my nails on the tablecloth. “Wh---”

“Please, let me finish. That day…I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you that I wouldn’t throw you under the bus but I wouldn’t even think about it. How could I do that to my little freshman?”

For the first time ever, my chest warmed at the nickname. However, I tried to bite back the smile that was worming its way onto my face.

I glanced away for a moment, crossing my arms over my purple sleeveless satin gown. “Well, I guess I forgive you,” I playfully grumbled before turning back to him. “But you still did it pretty easily to Marie.”

Jordan’s expression faltered and he sipped some champagne. “Don’t mention her.”

“Why not? She’s my friend and we did a very mean thing,” I argued.

“Look, I protected myself and you that night, I won’t apologize for that. Besides, she’s still here and she’s doing great,” he spat.

“I know you’re pissed about the rankings but, those can change, especially with how hard you work and how powerful you are.”

Jordan scoffed. “That’s how it should work but no one wants to back a bigender Asian.”

His words made me stop for a second. In all the time I knew them, Jordan seemed invincible to punches, laser beams, electric shocks, and words. They made succeeding at Godolkin look so easy but it must have been anything but. Plus, Luke and Brink’s death must have impacted everything else.

“We’ll see about that,” I challenged. “There’s about thirty trustees and every board member in this room. There will have to be a few who will like you.”

Jordan hesitated. “I’m not really in the mood to promote myself.”

“Then let me talk,” I offered.

He eyed me for a while before crossing over to my side of the table and looping one of his arms with mine. “Don’t make me look bad, freshie.”

“I think that’s impossible.”

The first target was easy: a thirtysomething white guy with floppy light brown hair and an oversized gray suit. I focused on him for a moment, gathering as much information as I could.

“Trevor Emerson, GOD U alum and old money beneficiary,” I muttered to Jordan.

“Isn’t he supposed to hate me?” Jordan hissed back.

“He’s overcome by white guilt since his recent discovery that all the black and brown people who built and managed his family’s manor were not salaried employees,” I explained. “He’s dying to look as much of an ally as possible.”

Jordan straightened up. “Good job, freshie.”

“I haven’t even gotten started.” I painted a polite smile on my face. “Mr. Emerson, it’s so nice to meet you, can we bother you for a moment?”

Two guilty and three haughty donors later, Jordan and I found ourselves at a different table. It was the first time that I saw him smile that night.

“You were amazing out there,” Jordan exclaimed.

“Thank you but you also made my job a little easier being talented and whatever,” I joked.

“Seriously.” Jordan grabbed my hand. “You might have saved my ass.”

I tried to ignore the tingle that shot up from my hand into the side of my neck. “It’s okay, I’m happy to help.”

When they announced that the video was about to start Jordan sulked again. “I can’t believe they’re making us sit through this shit.”

“Me neither.” I rest my hand on top of his. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask sooner but, are you okay?”

Jordan laughed humorlessly. “No but schmoozing with you did help a little. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

When we parted our separate ways, I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress skirt and approached my table. Fortunately, Mom and Dad had not burned down the ballroom with their arguing. In fact, when I got to their table, Mom was on her phone and Dad was rhythmically tapping his fingers against the tablecloth, looking anywhere but her.

“Hi, were you bored with me gone?” I asked, giving Dad a side hug.

“Not at all. I met a few board members and sold a few pictures,” he responded.

I nodded and slowly took the middle seat between them. The video was equal parts patronizing and infuriating. However, my parents’ whispers kept me from focusing too much on the video.

“Y/M/N, can you get off the phone for one second? They’re playing the video,” Dad hissed.

“I am about to cut the biggest deal of this quarter. They can send it,” Mom hissed back, waving a manicured hand for emphasis.

“Mom, people are starting to stare,” I quietly interjected.

“Let them stare. This is what’s paying for you to be here.”

“Don’t act like I don’t contribute!” Their words used to make me flinch but I forced myself to sit up straighter and breathe.

“I’m grateful for it, for both of you, really. You both paid to be here and I thought you would not want to miss the man they’re honoring,” I whispered.

Those words made Mom slowly mutter something into the phone before placing it face down on the table and leaning forward. At that same time, they flashed a picture of Brink and me across the screen. He had been meeting with my small group when the photographer appeared.

Dad squeezed an arm around my shoulder and I softly leaned into his touch.

“Thank God you lost that baby fat,” Mom commented.

“Y/M/N,” Dad said quietly.

“You know it’s true, Y/D/N,” Mom hissed back.

Suddenly, Dad’s arm felt like a boa constrictor, and I gracefully slipped out of its grasp. When the video ended, I drank a fresh flute of champagne. The bubbles instantly went to my head as I giggled at Dean Shetty introducing Marie.

She looked really pretty even though she was nervous.

“Do you know her?” Mom asked over the applause.

“We’re friends,” I replied.

“So why is she a guardian and not you?”

“She was more involved in stopping Luke than me,” I lied.

 When Dean Shetty cued everyone to return to socializing, Mom turned to me.

“Your grades are fantastic and your standing in your house is good,” Mom began. “But eligible bachelors will not notice you unless you stand out like her.”

“Y/M/N, leave her alone. Anyone who doesn’t notice Y/N isn’t worthy of being in our family anyway,” Dad defended.

Mom ignored him. “That girl, Marie Moreau, is not your friend, she is your competition. You are in the prime setting to have everything you’ve ever wanted but she could snatch it from you. You’re supposed to be able to see things like this coming, Y/N.”

“I do see things coming and I know Marie wouldn’t do that to me,” I quipped.

At that moment, Mom’s eyes bore so deep into me that I didn’t think that anyone could claw them out. Her eyes looked like they were going to bug out of her head at any moment and I could feel my breathing pick up.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” I promised.

It felt like forever until she leaned back in her seat and grabbed her phone.

“Make sure it doesn’t ‘slip out’ again. Now go socialize.”

“I need a minute, Mom, I’ve been socializing since we got here.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “This again.”

“What?”

“Y/M/N, please.”

“No, no, Y/D/N, she is constantly using, what, anxiety to get out of speaking to people. You are always too soft on her and make me look like the bad guy. I’m the one helping her be normal,” Mom snapped. “Anxiety didn’t exist when we were her age, we just did what we had to do, and look where we are now.”

I wondered if Emma ever felt as small as I did in that moment. Then, I wondered if she ever made herself small to hide from people, even her mom. Wordlessly, I left the table and tried to avoid any cameras as the tears burned in the corners of my eyes.

I tried to take deep breaths to calm my trembling chest and keep my throat busy. My chest shifted from trembling to heavy and I started looking around the room.

“I hear one piano…feel two fingers…smell three different alcohols…and see---”

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cate’s voice broke me out of my rhythm and I glanced to see her sitting with Marie and Jordan, who was in their feminine form.

My chest felt much lighter and I quickly wiped away my tears. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Jordan called gently.

Cate pulled me into a hug and had me sit between her and Marie. “What happened?”

“My parents, well, my mom mostly. I guess I got too anxious for her, and she yelled at me,” I rambled.

Cate smiled softly. “Then you came at the perfect time. We were just talking about our horrible parents.”

My ears perked up. “Really?”

“Well, mine are dead,” Marie commented.

I turned to her and placed my hands on top of hers. “What? I’m so sorry. How did it…”

“I accidentally killed them with my powers,” Marie explained.

“That must have been horrible.”

Marie barely nodded and I squeezed her hands. “I just told my little brother to go away during a camping trip. He never came back and my mom pretty much locked me away,” Cate confessed. “I was seven.”

 “What?” I whispered.

“I killed my grandpa with my powers,” Jordan interjected.

We all turned to her and I cocked my head to the side.

“No, you didn’t,” Cate countered.

Jordan smiled. “You’re right, I was feeling left out.”

I didn’t think that I could laugh the way I did but it felt so nice. At least I had friends again.

When I started sipping on the whiskey Cate stole, I saw a brief image flash before my eyes. There was a guy with curly brown hair covered in dirt running away from several bloody bodies. He paused for a moment and opened his hand, revealing a tiny sleeping Emma. When the vision left, Andre was standing in front of us.

“Seriously?” I complained before he even spoke.

[pagannatural]

1.05

-Bloody Mary!

-Jessica’s voice yelling Sam’s name in his trauma nightmare blends into Dean’s voice yelling his name in the car, his fingers on Sam’s neck and collarbone, to wake him. Sam’s head is tilted really far back on the seat so that his throat is exposed. He could have been curled up with his head in his arms, Dean could’ve shaken his shoulder. But no. Fingers on exposed neck, with only his neck and Dean’s fingertips sunlit. The sexual subtext is subtexting.

Sam is frequently depicted as tempting and in need of rescue like this.

-Sam always stands with his whole body facing Dean fig 4

-“what are you guys doing” Dean: “we had to go to the bathroom” ???

-this shot has Sam spotlit like the light of Dean’s life

-Dean is miffed that Sam won’t tell him about his dreams and didn’t laugh at his joke. He so consistently wants to take care of Sam.

-when the girl of the week begins telling her secret, “I had this boyfriend. I loved him. But he kind of scared me, you know?” Dean’s eyes flick to Sam’s, and Sam stares at Dean for a long moment. He swallows and looks down and his nostrils flare before he looks back at her. He’s probably thinking about Jessica, whose death he feels responsible for. But he’s looking at Dean.

The most innocent interpretation is that he’s looking to Dean for support because he’s feeling guilty. And spn is nothing if not full of wholesome family innocence. Who else could he be thinking about that he loves in a way that scares him sometimes and it’s a secret?

-Dean asks Sam to blame him rather than himself for Jessica’s death. I wonder if he feels bad that he couldn’t stop it and prevent his little brother all this pain. Sam is so sincere that he doesn’t blame Dean.

-When he says “I haven’t told you everything” Dean is affronted. Like, he’s not used to that, this conflict is new to them. Sam must’ve told him everything at other times in their lives.

-WHY DIDN’T THEY LET US WATCH DEAN BRUSH HIS THUMB ACROSS SAM’S FACE.

This is genuinely the most romantic thing I have ever seen. Dean is kneeling over Sam, tenderly cradling his bloodtearstained face, brushing his thumb across his cheek, Sam’s mouth open as he slumps into his brother’s hands, gazing up at him under heavy eyelids. But Sam won’t let Dean call him Sammy again yet. That would be too familiar. I’m going to throw up.

-Sam is brave but Dean is the one who saves him, first by shattering the mirror and then holding it up to Mary.

-Sam tells Dean “you’re my brother, and I’d die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself.” He’s clinging to some of the distance that he put between them by living his own life at Stanford.

-and look…If Sam were consciously and agonizingly in love with Dean, and trying his best to grapple with that, this episode would remain exactly the same. A lot of the text supports this reading.

-Jessica appears to Sam looking beautiful out the car window, then disappears. To me, this is a way of concluding his grief storyline. Of course his grief isn’t over, but from here out it’s not an immediate problem. Grief is a special kind of vicious when it’s fresh and it’s not fresh any more. It also seems like Sam wants to keep his life with Jessica specifically separate from Dean.

-episode theme is facing the truth about yourself that you want to hide from.

[cauldronblssd]

We're Leaving the Planet, and You Can't Come

CH 1/6 | Read on AO3

Thank you once again to the best beta, @climbthemountain2020 and @witch-and-her-witcher.

Also thank you to @moonpatroclus for encouraging me to write this.

TW: dubious consent, non consent

Elain sighed in frustration as she glanced down at her exposed flesh. She’d just managed to extricate herself from the polymer casing of her safety gear. The perfectly regulated air of the station kissed against her skin, the velveteen flooring soft and plush against her feet. Her domed mask rested in its port. It had been the perfect night in, before she’d been interrupted by the melodic ring of her transmitter. It sounded throughout her small station, muted by the carpeting covering the walls. 

“Commander Graysen, this is an unexpected call. Allow me to dress myself before we continue.”

“No need for that, Archeron. This is a matter of state.”

Elain didn’t see what one had to do with the other, it was hardly adherent to the decorum of a state matter to appear before him nude, but she didn’t argue. Graysen demanded unquestioning compliance. While his methods were unorthodox, and at times unpleasant, she’d been urged by the others at her home gate to accept his quirks rather than put him in a poor mood. She plastered on a pleasant smile, forcing herself to pinch up her cheeks so that it would reach her eyes.

“Very well then, what’s the urgent matter?” Elain shuddered at the way his eyes roved over her body as she spoke, holding herself back from covering her breasts with her arms as she stood at attention.

She was beautiful to the males, she knew, who requested her more often than most when they copulated in the modern fashion. She didn’t know why it mattered, the whole thing lasted no more than a moment, hardly long enough for them to develop a preference. Still, she accepted amiably, forcing an enthusiastic smile onto her face, the same smile she took the exaltation transference pill with, and held out her palm to the man’s own, inevitably sweaty and unappealing.

“We received word from an informant that a male has left the station in aid of a leader that puts our Sun System in great danger.”

“Danger? But we haven’t had that in decades,” Elain exclaimed. All thoughts of Graysen and his unsettling gaze were gone, as she tried to imagine what kind of danger they might face and how she could possibly be involved in it. The Sun System had been at peace for longer than she’d been alive, the greatest crimes simply a waste of resources or a return to more primal habits that sometimes gripped those less astute in the teachings of the Nolans and their ilk.

Elain, under the tutelage of her sisters and, at times, her negligent but stern parents, had grown up in the New Ways. She adhered to all its principles, eschewing all primal pleasures and wants, for the restraint of an intellectual.

“He carried with him a weapon he’d developed, one harnessing the powers of old ash, that could cause great harm to humans and other creatures alike.”

To what creatures he referred, she could hardly imagine. She’d heard tales from Nesta of great creatures not like human men at all, ones who slithered along the swamps of other planets or flew like winged predators through the air, keen on capturing a human woman. Even still, the idea of violence was abhorrent, so wholly against her own principles as a woman of the New Way.

As her mind continued to whir and wander, Graysen continued, “We’d like you to travel to the planet Hybern to go find him. We believe he goes by the name ‘Vanserra.’” He said it with a sneer that curled up his lip, clearly unable to contain his disgust. “He serves the Great High Lord.”

“Whatever can I do about it?” She was hardly the most well-trained member of her team– that could only be credited to Nesta. Nor was she especially brave like Feyre.

“Use your charms, find Vanserra, and bring him back by any means necessary.”

Elain only nodded, unease raking through her. A solo mission would be a lonely one, and she wished she might bring her sister or a friend along with her. Instead, she redressed herself, donning a silver uniform that clung tightly to her curves and exposed the whole of her bare leg, before sliding a boot of the same color up to the curve of her thighs. It would do for the planet of Hybern, she’d been told. She lay down for sleep, cold glass encasing her body, pressing against her skin as she drifted off to sleep. The station would carry her to Hybern, and, if she was lucky, she’d be there by the time she woke.

*****

Elain should have known better. She’d never been lucky, that always fell to one of the happy, unbothered ladies that seemed to surround her. It had been why she’d placed herself on call, despite her sisters’ protestations that she’d be too sensitive for an outward mission. She longed for adventure – and now she had it. 

The station shook aggressively, rattling her bones and bumping her aggressively into the glass walls of her sleeping pod. The cacophonous sounds of the sputtering engine overwhelmed her, a smoky scent filling the air. Before she could brace herself for impact, the station crashed with a hard thud, throwing her off balance against the wall.

Steam hissed in the air as she crawled on her hands and knees. The large screen she used to communicate screeched with static. Blind in the smoky fog of the room, she touched the surfaces along the floor and walls. Elain grunted with relief when she found the door, scrambling for the latch to push it open. Something pushed against the door as she tried to open it, and she thrust her full body weight into it. At last, she stumbled out of the station, taking a deep breath and noting with relief that her oxygen mask would not be needed.

That was the only comfort this planet was likely to offer her, and she shivered as the hair raised on her arms. A cold, harsh wind cut through Elain’s already scant attire, raking against her bare skin. Her hair blew around her face, hitting her with surprising force. 

Elain’s heart stopped as she yanked the golden-brown strands away from her face to see in front of her. Ghostly children, in shimmering shades of white approached her. Perhaps it was a phantom of her imagination, a result of the harsh impact of her crash landing. She’d heard of monsters on other planets, beings that were not human at all, but something like it. She’d never heard tales of this, children both haunted and beautiful, approaching her en masse.

Elain staggered backwards, placing her hands against the increasingly cold metal of her station. It was a cheery pink, bright and garish against the cold white backdrop of this place. It had been foolhardy to trap herself against it like this, seeking the stability of the familiar. It went against every bit of training that she’d received in her time on the guard. Perhaps her sisters had been right, she should have remained on the care teams, relegated to easy daily tasks more suited to her anxious disposition. The children made no sound as they approached her, wafting on the air as if by magic. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest, her whole-body shivering.

The children beckoned her as they surrounded her. There was nothing to do but follow, though she was loath to leave the comfort of her station behind. Her steps made an audible crunch against the cold rock underfoot, unlike the silent glide of the apparitions in front of her.

It was only when they arrived in a room inside a cave, with a rudimentary cell carved into the side of a mountainous rock that she began to question her decision. Her commanders had long informed her it was better to die in the moment than be captured. Awful scenarios began to circulate through her mind, each one featuring these unsettling ghostly children. 

They must have some kind of corporeal form, because, to her horror, one child, a small girl in pigtails, began to bind her wrists to the bars of the cell, tightly overhead. Her ankles were then restrained, holding her in place with little give to move about. She began to shout, screaming for help, from whom she didn’t know. Did anyone inhabit this planet, or had they died, leaving only these half-alive creatures behind?

Her heart pounded in her chest, fear constricting her breathing as she cried out. 

She scratched and clawed for something she could grab as a pack of white foxes entered the room. They circled and sniffed at her as she stood, unable to move. 

The sound of a thunderous bellow interrupted whatever horror had been about to occur. Standing in the entrance to the cave stood a man, or something like one. He was exceptionally tall and broad, filling the whole of the cave. Long, blood red hair curled and waved down his back, an ominous picture against the barren landscape. His lip lifted in a menacing snarl, claws protruding from his hands in a promise of what’s to come.

Elain gasped, her words gone from her as she watched him step forward, the children parting to make way. They scattered, leaving her alone in the cave with the foxes and the man in front of her. The animals too, seemed to heed his direction, falling into step behind him. 

Rich, brown skin spanned his muscular chest and arms. To bare so much of his body was an indecent exposure that would have him labeled a rebel in the Sun System. She turned her face away, as if the impropriety were the worst of the errors she might be reprimanded for when, if, she ever returned home.

One long claw touched her cheek, drawing a prick of blood, as he turned her face towards his own. It was inches from hers, and she could see the long, sharp fangs that he bared in a grimace. She pulled at the restraints on her wrists but there was no give to be found.  The man’s hot breath was warm against her face as he towered over her. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” Even as he said the words, he traced his claw languidly down her cheek and the curve of her neck. She shivered, unsure of whether to meet his eyes or if that would only provoke him further.

“You saved my life,” she uttered in response. Stupid. She could hardly ingratiate herself to a half wild man like this. Still, she tried to recall her training, considering what negotiations she might have to offer. “What can I offer you in return? My home planet, the Sun System, would pay handsomely for my return.”

He hissed in response. “And what is your life worth, then? How much gold would they offer?”

Elain’s lips trembled as she weighed her true value. Perhaps the Nolans didn’t intend for her to return at all. The more she considered this mission, the more unusual it seemed that she’d been sent alone with not even enough notice to inform her sisters. Perhaps there was no need to banish her when they could just send her away, expecting her to never successfully return. Perhaps this Vanserra didn’t exist at all.

“Don’t worry, little pet. I don’t need any gold.” Despite the reassurance, she hardly felt comforted as he took several deep breaths, his chest rising and falling closer to her with each one. Elain twisted again in the ropes holding her wrists and ankles, feeling at once both nervous of the implications and something else she hadn’t experienced before.

The man watched her useless pulling, an amused expression on his, admittedly beautiful, face. An arching, prominent nose and full lips set off his angular features, with one eye of a bright russet brown and the other an usual shade of golden yellow. It only highlighted his otherworldly appearance, his strangeness, or rather, her strangeness in this place she didn’t belong.

Home. She needed to go home. Forget Vanserra and this stupid mission.

“I need to fix my station, to get home. I’ll give you whatever you need.”

He quirked his brow as he looked her up and down.

“And if what I need is your body?”

Elain felt her brows pinch together as she struggled to understand his question. If he meant to take her body, or some part of it, she wasn’t sure she’d ever make it home.

The man crouched, leaning in close to her ear and Elain couldn’t help but suck in a breath at his warm scent, like a crackling fire in the middle of this barren, snow filled planet. “Don’t worry, love, I’ll make it feel good.”

That didn’t comfort her, at all. She still didn’t truly know what he meant and worse, she was beginning to suspect it was of a prurient nature – something that surely would get her banished on her home planet if she wasn’t already. Perhaps they sensed the same thing in her this man seemed to, the same reason she was called back over and over for transference.

“Copulation, you mean?” She said it in as neutral a tone as she could maintain, trying to hide her uncertainty at the idea. It was nothing, and yet, with this man...

“If that’s what you’d like to call it.” That amused grin was on his face again, baring his too sharp teeth. She looked down, nervous. And oh. She’d never seen a naked man before - it was hardly necessary for the act performed in the safety of the Sun System health centers. Could they all be as large as this? Or perhaps it was due to his otherwise large stature. 

The man chuckled, lifting her chin to bring her gaze back up to his eyes.

“You’ll have to untie my hands,” she offered, her will to fight this leaving her.

“Oh?” His smile turned into something else then, pulling at the left corner, highlighting that unusual eye. “You look rather pretty like this.” 

He pushed his hand against her own restrained one as if to show his meaning. His fingers interlaced with hers. Her heart thundered in her chest. He couldn’t mean to...

One long claw pulled at the front of her clothes, ripping the silver material away from her body in one swift gesture. Cold air rushed against her, her nipples hardening and a shiver running down her body.

“I didn’t bring the transference pill,” she continued. “I wasn’t expecting to...”

“Do the human men on your home planet need a pill to fuck you, love? You’re wasted on them, then.” He brought his mouth closer to her, her pulse quickening at the sight of his sharp fangs. He brought his mouth there, to where her heart fluttered in her neck, his tongue swirling around the spot. Something began to throb between her legs.

“I can smell you, sweet thing. I want to taste you, too.” 

He sucked at the crook where her neck joined her shoulder and a gasping moan escaped her. What was happening to her? It felt too good, nothing like transference at all. 

She’d heard talk of the old ways, of humans driven mad by lust, behaving no better than animals. It was all talk now, tales passed down through whispers. To even speak of it was strictly forbidden by the Nolans and the commanding officers of the Sun System. It was punishable by banishment, a sentence as sure as death.

Even knowing this, Elain leaned her head to the side, giving this man access. “What’s your name?”

He chuckled, sucking on her earlobe before speaking with the low growl of his voice. “Lucien. Call me Lucien, pretty human.” He dipped his fingers into her mouth, and she accepted it, sucking on them without knowing where the instinct came from.

“Lucien,” she repeated, as he removed his fingers from her mouth, a line of spit trailing in between them. Her cheeks flushed warm as she watched it. 

“And you? What shall I call you?” 

A more rational part of Elain whispered that she shouldn’t give him her name. Names had power. And still she couldn’t deny him anything, something pulling in her ribs, urging her to give herself over to him.

“Elain,” she said as she looked up at him, feeling desperate to move, to relieve the ache between her legs.

“Elain,” he repeated, smiling as he said it. He moved her hair off her face, a sudden tenderness to the gesture. She liked the way he said her name, a slight lilt to the word that made it sound different, more beautiful than plain.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe they sent you here all alone.” He rolled his hands up and down her sides in an exploratory fashion, as if letting her adjust to the idea of him touching her. 

Lucien brought one hand to her breast, cupping her gently in his large palm before rolling her hardened nipple between his fingers. She didn’t know. Didn’t know she could feel so sensitive, that a singular touch could feel like this. She whimpered in response. Was this a spell, some sort of magic cast by this alien creature? She wasn’t sure she cared. Her body chanted for more, more, more. The ache between her legs turning into a pulsating throb with every touch and tweak.

“These humans have been neglecting you,” he growled with a possessive squeeze of her throat. She’d have hardly called it that, didn’t like to think of the ways she avoided their unwelcome attentions. Here she was, tied up, unable to get away from Lucien’s invasive mouth that seemed equally inclined to talk as to taste, and yet she didn’t feel used at all, she felt wanted, worshiped. She arched her back, leaning further into him, the only movement the restraints allowed her.

He offered her another rueful smile as he squeezed at her throat the same moment his mouth connected with her breast. The swirling movements of his tongue against her, wet and warm, had her ready to beg for more. She’d die if he stopped.

He pulled his fingers away from her throat, placing them back in her mouth. “Quiet, Elain.” He said it in an admonishing tone, as if she should have known to be quiet, when he’d been growling and roaring for anyone to hear. It set off another alarm bell, one she chose to ignore in favor of the way he’d moved his mouth down her body, now kneeling in front of her.

Lucien ran a hand against her thighs, and she gasped, surprised to find them wet where he touched. Was this part of the magic, too? He dipped a finger against it before placing it into his own mouth. He let out another growl, not at all quiet, she thought.

She should feel debased, it was all wrong, or at least that’s what she’d been taught. She tried to shut her mind off from the pleasure, but then his tongue began to lap at the wetness between her legs, and she bowed and pulled against her restraints. It was too much, electrifying and overwhelming all at once and she wanted to close her legs against his onslaught. 

He didn’t slow, but he ran a soothing hand up and down her hip as he continued, licking and sucking and all but panting against her. Occasionally, he’d turn those sharp fangs to nibble at her thighs, offering her another sensation to focus on before he continued whatever slow build had started in her gut.

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she rubbed wantonly against his face.

“God, I could die like this,” he murmured. Elain gasped, feeling panicked, and he chuckled in response. “Don’t worry, my pretty human, I won’t. At least not until I get my cock in this tight cunt of yours.”

He squeezed himself to indicate his meaning, and Elain felt another panic rise in her chest. She wasn’t sure where he would put that. It was long, wrapped in veins that seemed to dance against his skin as he moved his hand against them. Glistening fluid, much like her own, dripped from the tip, trailing down his cock and onto his hand.

“I can’t wait to see this pretty cunt stretch over my cock, sweet thing. You want me to come inside you, breed you full and keep you here as my pretty mate?”

She didn’t know what he meant, truly, but the way he said the words, the way his fist clenched around himself as he said them, gave her an idea. Mate. She liked the sound of that word, whimpering and whining in response.

He trailed his fingers between her legs, dipping one of his clawed fingers into her wet entrance before dragging the finger backwards. “You like that don’t you, want me to make you feel nice and full?” He traced his finger around it, and she froze, despite the aching throb that said yes.

He sucked on the sensitive point between her legs with increased fervor, running his tongue along her in a soft motion, soothing away the intensity.

Her whole body felt hot, like she was burning from the inside out. She didn’t want it to stop, and yet she didn’t know what would happen if they kept going.

“Lucien,” she started to warn him.

He squeezed her thighs possessively, moaning into her. “That’s it, Elain.” And he nibbled at her clit before laving at it with his wet tongue and her whole body began to shake with violent tremors. She’d never felt like this in her life, something strong and electric pushing with delicious pleasure through her whole body. Whatever had been building was overtaking her now, and it was all she could manage not to scream. Pleasure suffused her body like a golden light on this cold planet, bright and burning like the sun. She felt alive in a way she never had in all her life. Elain couldn’t move, suspended in that upright position as Lucien continued to lap at her until it ached. 

When she began to move her body away from him, he stood, towering over her once more, before thrusting his tongue against her mouth. She opened wide for him as he tilted her jaw up toward him, finding it unnatural to taste herself and yet not seeming to mind. 

Lucien grabbed at the ropes on her wrists, biting at them with his teeth and they came loose. She rubbed at the tender skin as he performed a similar motion at her ankles. Elain sagged against him, his large body holding up her own with ease. He held her for a moment, running soothing touches along her hair and back.

“We’re not done yet, my little mate.” She nestled further into him, humming in contentment. He lay her down against his jacket on the floor, his hand nestled under her head. Her whole body felt heavy, woozy and spent with pleasure.

It was Lucien’s finger again at her entrance that reawakened her, as he ran it along the wetness still pooling and dripping between her legs.

He moaned at whatever he found, running back and forth with his knuckles against her. “God, Elain, you’re so...” His words trailed off as he placed kisses along her thighs. “This might hurt at first.” 

She couldn’t imagine it doing anything but hurt, if he planned to push himself inside her. Still, the ecstacy of what she had experienced a moment ago left her mind hazy, everything touched by the velvet softness of pleasure that still ran through her.

“Tell me you can take it,” he pleaded with an urgency to his voice as he pressed himself, warm and unyielding, against her entrance. 

She considered telling him no, only so she could hear him desperate again as he begged her, as if he hadn’t just put his mouth all over her while she was tied to the wall.

His large body shook as he held it over her and she lifted her hips in invitation. She was already ruined, already destined to be banished to empty space, she might as well commit. Still, she flinched as he pushed the first inch inside of her, a sharp pain causing her to tense. He reached between them, touching her and rubbing in maddening circles as he continued to push. It felt like an invasion of her body, she was too full, he was too large, a giant by any human standards. And yet her body ceded the space. She could feel herself dripping against him, the glide of her wetness easing his way in deeper. When he pressed himself fully against her with a final snap of his hips, they both moaned.

This is what the humans had all but banned, what they feared. She ground her hips against him, experimentally. Yes, she could see why, she felt a bit mad already, the pain and pleasure pushing her closer to that edge again.

With a tender kiss that had no place in this coupling on the floor of a cave, Lucien began to move, still cupping her head as he thrust with more force. Each push awakened something in her. She felt alive, everything clicking into place with the pleasure of this moment. She felt powerful as she began to push back against him, matching his rhythm and drawing more growling sounds from him. 

“Yes, Lucien,” she chanted, holding onto his broad shoulders. 

She could feel the muscles moving with each shift of his body, everything working with all of his powerful control to give her this. She remembered she was meant to be repaying him for saving her life, but it didn’t feel like that at all. Elain kissed his cheeks and neck and anything she could reach as she moved with more urgency, wanting to please him, to hold up her end of a bargain. Her body was what he asked for, and she’d given over every inch of space, full with nothing but this man, a stranger to her in every way but this one.

He murmured her name in her ear over and over as he moved, as if learning and memorizing it for later. She hummed, repeating his own back to him. Yes, this was all they were in this moment, Lucien and Elain, two bodies met by chance on this barren planet. When pleasure began to crest in her again, he knew, covering her mouth with his own in a frantic wet kiss as they reached their peak together, all sweat and skin and one steady heartbeat.

Lucien continued to pant, licking and biting at her neck and shoulders and breasts as they both came back to their senses. She ran her hands through the long red locks of his hair, enjoying the way they slipped between her fingers. As the planet turned away from the sun, it had gotten darker, lit by a vast sea of stars against the inky black sky outside the cave.

Lucien moved off of her, resting his head on his elbow to look at her as he lay on his side. “Was that what you expected, little mate?” 

Elain huffed, frustrated suddenly at this male who felt all too proud of himself. “Not quite all they chalked it up to be when they talk of it at home.” She sighed for effect. “But I suppose these things are always exaggerated in fiction.”

He didn’t seem deterred, perhaps knowing that her body had already told him quite a different tale. Even now, she couldn’t keep herself from touching him in some way, her knee brushing against his thigh and her cheek leaning against his arm.

“I’ll do my best to surprise you when you come back to visit me, then.” He bit her neck as he said it, drawing another gasp from her.

“I’m going home,” she reminded him with a frown. It didn’t sound as appealing as it had before.

Lucien scowled then, wrapping the blanket around her as he scooped her up, cradling her in his arms. 

“Let’s get you back to my station, I’ll work on repairs.”

Lucien walked with broad strides throughout the planet, cradling her tenderly in his arms, though something had tensed in his body. He dipped his head as he stepped through another cave, this one furnished more like a home, with soft lights and furs covering various surfaces. He laid her down on a pillow pile, wrapping her up before stepping back out into the bluster, the incoherent chatter of foxes following behind him. 

Elain drifted into an easy sleep, despite her dire circumstances, humming with content.

[regretisstoredintheme]

Indulgent thoughts? Indulgent thoughts. 

I was told that if I ever had indulgent thoughts (about Leo specifically???? What 😭😭😭) I had to share them, so… *sighhhhh*

YOU TWO. (@soradragon and @milks-thoughts) ASKED FOR IT.

Disclaimer that most of this was improv.

For context: I had this really bad interaction with Celina’s Yan!Leo ai, (I had tried to correct it but I ended up having to just delete the convo.) Anyways, after I had recovered from it, it got me thinking abt a post the aforementioned mutual, @pianocat939 made. I realize how much of a bad idea it is to @ her, but I’m already exposing myself, so WHY NOT 😀 

HI CELINA 👋👋 IM ON TV!! IM BEING A BRAVE BOY 😀😀😀 

Anyway

—

The idea is that you— or I guess me?? Ehh I’ll put it in a ‘Y/n’ format so it makes more sense. (Tw for Yandere behavior) 

Y/n had been held captive by a version of Yandere Leo that was a lot more— physical, ig?? and who felt completely content with making them feel like the scum of the earth. He had violent mood swings, and picked— no, more like dug at any insecurity of theirs he could find. (The Ai made it clear he was like a wolf in sheep’s clothing 😒 a wolf on the hunt. and by “made it clear” I mean it literally could not stop mentioning it lmAOHDJAHAHA—) 

This is where my au comes in. 

So what does Y/n do? They start being reckless. Looking for any way to escape. There weren’t many times the brothers left on missions, so when they finally did, they had a plan to investigate around. They walked up to Donnie’s lab, and started poking around at things. They figured the purple-clad turtle would have something they could use. Something dangerous, perhaps? 

Unfortunately, (or fortunately..?) they found one of his prototypes. 

This prototype was meant to bend reality, it was an experimental design since it was his first attempt at mixing tech with mystic. but since they poked around at it’s draft, it couldn’t help but act unexpectedly. 

And sent them into another dimension entirely. 

The canon dimension. 

With no Yanderes, no captivity, and none of that fear they were so used to. 

They were .. free..? 

They looked around the streets cautiously, looking for any signs that it was a hallucination or illusion. Were they really back in the streets of NYC? After having been in that godforsaken lair for years? How many years they had no idea, their guess was 2, but they couldn’t be sure.

They sat in waiting, cautious. They couldn’t go to the police, but they knew they had to stay out of sight. The prototype of Donnie’s creation had come with them, flashing every few seconds.  They didn’t know how to turn it off, only how to hide. And they did it pretty well, holding a home base for a few days. 

Everything tipped them off, but they were beginning to calm down, that was before they realized Donnie’s invention was probably still on. After finally finding the switch, they flipped it, the light finally powering down. They sighed, eyebrows furrowing in relief— but it wasn’t over yet. 

Hearing a sound, they flipped around in surprise, running to hide before lifting their arms up, a feeble attempt to guard from whatever was walking out of the alleyway.

From the shadows, the only slightly familiar face of Foot Lieutenant, his mouth curved into a dark smile. Y/n had only seen him once, when they had attacked the turtles, but they seemed— different somehow..  “I do believe that was a tech signal from a certain purple, mutated turtle..” he turned to Brute with a sinister chuckle, gazing down at a jagged piece of equipment. “We’ve got them now..” 

Y/n could hardly breathe, but they kept a hand over their mouth, determined to be as quiet as possible. From their many failed escape attempts, they knew Donnie had a tracer on his tech. Anyone who used it without authorization would have his ‘tag’ on them for quite a while. It was easily traceable. So if these people could trace that signal..

“Wait, I’m picking up something else!” Lieutenant looked back at the equipment, “it’s.. some sort of residue..” he hummed, then turned in Y/n’s direction. 

They felt their heart stop, eyes wide as they went to check around the corner. Was there a way out of this? Were they gonna leave one captor only to walk into the hands of another? 

Just as they began to spiral, a bright light illuminated from below them, encasing their cheeks gently in its blue hue. They didn’t have any time to react, the ground opening from below them as they fell into the abyss of neon. 

They felt the world spin around them as arms circled their back and legs, bridal style, as if their ‘savior’ had twirled flamboyantly once he caught them. 

Their eyes opened gently, before a gasp left their throat. The blood drained from their face, looking upon none other than Leo.

Normally they knew at least a few things to expect from him when they tried to escape, but they had never made it away for more than an hour before… 

They had no idea what he was gonna do. 

To their surprise, he was chuckling, not like he usually did— not with that — edge of maliciousness that reminded you why you couldn’t trust him. It was genuine, and weirder yet, he smiled at them. 

“Hey, need a hand?” He cheesed, quirking a brow. 

Y/n felt their bones nearly crack just at the sound of his voice, and found themself kicking at his plastron scrambling to put distance between them. Whatever manipulation tactic he was trying this time, it wouldn’t work on them. 

They gave him a terrified look, their eyes narrowing slightly as they braced for whatever he had planned. “Get away from me!” They yelled, baring their teeth. They had no way to fight back, and yet couldn’t stop the angry tears that piled in their eyes. 

“Woah— woah..” Leo seemed to shrink, making himself smaller as he showed his empty hands, keeping them where you could see them. “I know I look a little different but I assure you I have no intention to harm you..!” He gave a small laugh, as if he’d never seen this visceral of a reaction before. 

“That’s what you said last time!!” Y/n practically shrieked, hands up in defense to cover their face, that cold blooded liar would have to kill them before they allowed him to take them back to the lair. 

“Last time..?” Leo’s hands sunk a little, brows furrowing in curiosity. He’d never met this person before… 

Right..? 

—

THATS IT THERE YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED 😔😔😔😔😔😔 

Bonus: 

the art I made on a whim that inspired this

anyways.. Tell me if you want more of this silly lil au or something 😒😒

[anal-queen-waifu]

Afterparty

It's late, we're in the car, he's driving us home from our friends' wedding. I admire his hands, one on the steering wheel and the other on the stick. I trace with my eyes every visible vein, I look at his fingers and my cunt throbs at the sight of his wedding ring as I'm touching mine as well. My eyes go further to his wrist, he is wearing the watch I gifted him for his birthday. It's a perfect match to his suit. I look up to him, so serious, so responsible; his brows furrow just a little bit and I get tingles again. He is so handsome, I look at him and can't understand how I got so lucky!

Drunk with love and lust for him, but also with a little whisky, I reach for his crotch.

"Not yet, dearest darling. You've been such a good girl the entire night. You've taken it like a very brave girl. I'm so proud of you! Just have a little more patience, you're going to get what you're craving and so much more!"

Just before we left home, he told me to put my Hush in. He's been edging me the whole night, my panties are soaked and I am so needy that I want him to pull over and take me right there on the side of the road. But I restrain myself like a good girl and wait, indulging in his sight and fantasizing about him ravaging me.

When we get home, he makes himself a drink and sits in his favorite armchair.

"Undress."

I am so flustered. I'm always embarrassed when I'm this exposed, his eyes roaming on my breasts, my waist, my ass, knowing quite well what I hide underneath my long, backless dress. I can see his burning eyes reaching my deep, V shaped neckline, stopping at the curve of my breasts and then going up, meeting my eyes. So hungry. Despite teasing me and edging me all night, he hasn't touched me inappropriately at all. I shiver at the thrill of seeing him unchain the beast that has been waiting for this the whole night.

I push the straps of my dress off my shoulders and the dress slides to the floor, leaving me in my black lingerie and heels. He signals with his index finger towards the floor and I kneel and slowly come towards him on all fours. Once I reach him, he picks up the collar that has been waiting on his knee and puts it on me, pulling my chin up and staring right into my eyes.

"Mine."

I tighten my cunt at the claim he made. He leans forward and barely brushes a kiss on my lips, teasing me and then presses his lips to my forehead. We remain like this for a few seconds and I close my eyes to bask in his love. He slowly breaks away and looks at me.

"Turn around. Assume the position."

I do as I'm told and lean forward, exposing myself to him.

"Panties off."

I slowly reach for my black lace panties and remove them and spread my cheeks before him. I hear a little growl and I get goosebumps. He slowly starts caressing my cheeks, making sure to not touch any sensitive areas. I wish he'd let go and just bury himself inside me but he takes his time. I sense him getting up and coming in front of me. I look up and he leashes me, tugging on it to signal me to rise. Now my red lips are right in front of his crotch.

"How bad do you want it, babygirl?"

"Please, Daddy! I want you to stretch all my holes! Please! I've been such a good girl the whole night!"

"You beg so beautifully, kitten. Unwrap your gift, then."

Soon, his pants are being undone and I reveal his cock. My mouth waters at the sight of his full length. I start licking his balls, ever so softly. He did his teasing, now it's my turn. I gently take them in my mouth one by one and then both of them, at the same time caressing his thighs. His breath catches ever so often and I smile as I trace my tongue up his shift towards the head. He tugs on the leash for me to take him whole in my mouth but I don't listen as I go back down again.

"Are you sure you want to play this game, little brat?"

I don't say anything, I just lick up and down his cock a few more times. As I'm reaching his tip again, he tugs hard on the leash, grabs my hair and starts fucking my mouth hard. I gag a few times but try my best to take it as well as I can. He's ravenous and I love it. My cunt is throbbing, my butthole is twitching, I crave him everywhere. After he's satisfied, he pulls out and I trace the lines of spit back to his throbbing cock and start sucking on it at a steady pace.

"That's my good girl! Now wait here, I'll be right back."

I'm on my knees on our fluffy carpet, no thought in my head other than having my holes abused by his cock over and over again. He leaves the room and I position myself face down ass up with my back to the door. When he comes back he lets out a pleased hum. I feel him approaching me and suddenly his thumb is applying pressure right to my core. I whimper so hard I almost cum right then and there. He lets out a breathy laugh.

"Such a needy little slut you are. I saw you tonight at the party, squirming every time I put the Hush on high vibrations, rubbing your thighs together, almost leaning you head back in pleasure. You think those people at the table with us could hear the vibrations? Could see you squirming like a little slut drunk on pleasure? How did it feel, sweetheart? Do you enjoy being Daddy's slut?"

"Uh-uh."

I can barely form any words, I can barely think about anything else than his fingers between my legs teasing me, filling the room with lewd, wet noises. I buck my hips and he feels my swollen clit.

"No cumming yet, dearest darling! Do you think that taking your little mouth was punishment enough for teasing me like that? I need a proper answer. Do you enjoy being Daddy's little slut?"

I can't get anything out other than heavy panting.

"Come now, darling. Find your words."

"I love it Daddy! I love being your little slut! Please let me cum! Please! I will be such a good girl!"

He growls and burries his face between my legs.

"You taste heavenly, my darling!"

With only a flick of his tongue he sends me over the edge and I let go.

"Cum for me, baby. Cum for Daddy."

My body spasms, all my senses are reduced to him eating my cunt and his hands tightening on my hips. It goes on, and on and on until he is satisfied. He takes off his tie and blindfolds me with it, gets the cuffs and ties my hands behind my back.

"It's showtime babygirl."

He helps me to get up from the floor and guides me to the extended couch.

"Position."

I get on my knees, my back to him, and he pushes me face first on the couch. He gives me another long caress with his finger between my lips and just plunges in. I find release right then, with only one powerful thrust. I can feel his cock twitching inside me and my cunt tingles even harder. He starts fucking me slowly, lazily so I can feel every inch of his cock sliding in and out of me.

"Fuck me harder! I can't take it anymore!"

"Tut tut, where are your manners, I wonder."

"Pleaseeee.. please Daddy, please! I need you to fuck me as hard as you can!"

Hearing this, he starts pounding away.

"Oh God... Oh God.... Oh God... may I please cum again? I can't resist anymore-e-e!"

"Yes you may, babygirl!"

I cum my brains out each time, again and again and again. Taking out the Hush, he starts fingering my asshole, stimulating me even further and after he's stretched me enough, he claims my ass as well.

"Should I go slow, babygirl? Are you adjusted to the size of my cock?"

"I need you to fuck me as hard as you've fucked my cunt! Ah-ah-ah-ah...."

Orgasm after orgasm. He's trained me so well my butt acts like a cunt.

"You truly are my anal queen, darling! Listen to yourself! Do you hear how wet you are? God you feel so good! You're such a good girl for me, so tight, so smooth!"

I can feel his cock getting harder still and I can feel my orgasm starting to build up again. My whole existence is reduced to that rock hard cock fucking my asshole relentlessly. We cum together. Feeling his warm cum fill my insides is my undoing every time. He collapses on top of me and starts kissing my back from my neck to my waist.

"I love you, babygirl!"

"I love you too, Daddy!"

He gets off me, takes off my cuffs and my blindfold and we cuddle on the couch. He caresses my hair, my back and gives me the most softest of kisses. I'm home. I'm always home in his arms.

[affectionate-team]

Picture-perfect fairytale romance 1/3

Synopsis: Fairytales help tell children of all sides of human life without exposing them to real dangers. But what will happen if a child keeps their favorite story far too close to heart, projecting fantasies onto reality?

TW for mildly delusional Neige (only hints of it in this part), kinda ooc, MC only gets called 'knight' one time with no real descriptions, so you could say they're gn, barely proof read. I'm going to write two more parts later, as I cannot allow myself to write a story without at least attempting to look at it from all possible angles. :P

"...Trees parted before the brave knight, bowing in respect and opening the path ahead. Soon he came to a clearing in the woods.

Among the flowerbeds and tall grass laid a cloud of white and pink sateen. Upon coming closer, the knight realized that it was a person! A beautiful young woman with a face fresh like first snow. Her locks gently framed her face, bringing out its soft shape. The lady's lips, red like old wine, were barely open. Beads of tears sat on her lashes, glistening like morning dew. As if enchanted, the knight kneeled over the sleeping beauty, reaching out a hand to touch her and make sure what he was seeing was no dream.

No matter what, the woman wouldn't wake up, lost in her slumber - or perhaps a heavy spell cast on her. Concerned animals peered at the man from behind the bushes, hopeful at the thought he'd finally awaken the princess. The hero kneeled at her side, brushing a stray strand of hair aside to take a proper look on her face. Then, slowly and carefully, he leaved closer, connecting their lips in a kiss....

The spell fell, and the beauty's eyes opened once again..."

Stories like this one are a classic. A princess, a knight and a kiss of true love. What happens after is always the same. Every child has heard at least one of such tales, many have and still do dream to live out a magical story like that.

"...And they lived happily ever after."

Forever and ever, even after eternity.

A woman in her twenties sat on the bed of a small boy. Resemblance between them was clear as day - hair dark like wood, skin white as snow, lips red as fresh blood. The woman shut the book in her hands and placed it on a nightstand. She leaned down to place a kiss on top of her son's forehead. The boy giggled, rubbing his face with a chubby hand to wipe away a lipstick stain.

"Now, dear, it's time to sleep."

With a light motion, she tucked the blanket in at his sides to keep him warm at night. Beady-eyed plush animals and soft frilly pillows surrounded him. With a final fond gaze, the woman snuffed out all lights, disappearing after turning a corner.

The boy clutched his blanket, turning on a side to look into the open window. Darkness enveloped the night sky; only stars, usually outshone by the great Sun, dared to come out and hold their post, spilling light on all that's hiding in the dark. They stay high up to bear witness to all wishes shared with them at late hours, hearing out desperate calls of hopeful hearts. And that night, the stars heeded a young soul's wish.

"Maybe... Someday My Princess Will Come?"

Ringing of school bells was resonating through the entire building. Students flooded from classrooms, crowding in halls, desperate to escape classes as soon as they could. The commotion they were causing could be heard from outside, some students rushing to Mirror Hall, some staying back to turn in their assignments, attend clubs or hang out with friends. You could see all of that through the windows 

Rook promised to meet you near front gates to escort you to the gardens. He was assigned as your personal alchemy tutor by Professor Crewel. As eccentric as this particular junior seemed, his vast knowledge was deserving of recognition - as expected of a vice-leader of Pomefiore, a dorm specializing in potionology, and his strictness regarding practical assignments could rival even that of the Professor himself. So, a perfect solution for a poor magicless student that has never had anything to do with magical herbs. Originally, both you and Grim had had to attend tutoring sessions, but the latter turned tail at the last moment, and even if he were to be brought back forcefully, he'd be more of a distraction than anything else. That's where it leaves you - in front of the gates, glancing at your phone every few seconds in doubt and growing disbelief. Rook was running late.

The hunter told you specifically to wait for him after seventh lesson as it was supposed to be the last in his schedule, so where is he? Could he have been held back by his dormleader to discuss important matters, or stolen by co-members of science club that were in need of advice and assistance, or perhaps even lost in a pursue of a curious non-human student he wanted to observe before they escape his sights?

As if there was nothing on your to-do list for today, other than loitering around, waiting for him. It's hard to suppress a sigh. You took the waiting time as an opportunity to look around.

And there was a reason to it. With how wild Night Raven is, it had been near impossible to take a breather (or was it just your luck?) and enjoy something as simple as fresh air. A shame it is - there is so much to see in Twisted Wonderland. Try and find a single fairy, dragon or fire-breathing flower on Earth; but there, nothing of such is a novelty. To think about it, ever since arriving to NRC, you haven't spared a thought to how this world works: Where does magic even come from, and how exactly does it work? Why don't mages try and reuse accumulated blot, like humans in your world do to wastes? How did they manage to advance in technology when they seem to rely so heavily on their magical abilities? Do beastmen and merfolk actually have any biological relation to humans or-

Rustling of leaves took your mind away from daydreaming. For a second you expected Rook to emerge from the bushes, or maybe even from the top of a tree, picking a stray leave out of his hair and greeting you in his own special manner, but what appeared before your eyes did not resemble the hunter in the slightest. In his stead before you stood a... deer? Doe-eyed, absent-minded creature on four long trembling legs - undoubtedly a deer, but what would it be doing on school grounds?

The dreamy animal seemed to pay no mind to your presence, taking a step out of the forest and heading down the main street. It sniffed around, possibly looking for something or just lost, before averting its attention to a small shiny object lying in the grass. The deer picked it up it its teeth after a few awkward attempts and turned back to where it had come from, steps hurried and unsure.

The prefect has seen things. They have seen creatures of many magical kinds, most curious of artifacts and wildest of spectacles. They've been through it all. But suddenly, what they found to be fascinating is a regular deer, same as any other one inhabitating the Earth, carrying a little treasure - most likely a trinket lost by a careless student - into the forest. And as they always did, they decided to follow their heart's impulsive call in favor of satiating their curiosity, stalking after the animal carefully, as not to alert it, - tutoring session be damned.

Trail had turned many times, but eventually you noticed a clearing from afar. As if a picture taken straight from a fairytale book, the area was enveloped in light and surrounded by tall trees, serving as a barrier between that piece of paradise and the outside world. Blankets of grass were laid upon the ground, so each of your steps was silenced - nothing could disturb peace there. It almost seemed like time had been frozen. And among all the beauty of nature sat a figure. Flowers bloomed brighter, grass felt softer, predating animals were peaceful and pliant - all in their presence. If not for the most vigilant of them, sensing your smell ever since you passed the barrier, you would've stopped to admire the sight; alas, after receiving a message from one of their little friends, the figure turned around, catching you approaching them.

Their beauty took your breath away.

The first thing - person - your mind brought up is Snow White from the old children's tale. What uncanny resemblance. Cherry-red lips, contrasting unbelievably pale complexion, shiny ink-black hair, and obvious innocence oozing off of every fiber of their being. His being.

"Ah... hello?"

Staying silent would be awkward... and weird. He probably had come here to escape from noisy school grounds and find a sliver of peace and privacy, but here you were, disturbing the angelic boy, having uncovered his secret place, and-

"Hello! What brought you here? Have you perhaps gotten lost?", his smile is something made high above, as that's the only reasoning you could give to the sudden calm that overtook you when you saw it.

"No, not exactly. I just noticed a-", you noticed the oh-so-familiar deer nudge the boy before you with its head, dropping the stolen shiny item off onto the ground near him, "that one deer! It stole something from the school grounds; a student must've lost it, so... as a prefect, I wanted to...", his eyes brightened up upon inspecting the trinket - it turned out to be a keychain - with such child-like wonder, "...as I prefect, I wanted to make sure it got back to the owner, but if you like it, I guess it can't be helped! Doubt I would've been able to find who it belongs to anyways, so...haha.."

"How could I! I am sure this accessory must be precious to its owner, I cannot take it for myself.", in one graceful motion, the stranger got up to his feet and approached you, holding the keychain in both palms, as if offering a fragile and expensive gem, "It's so nice of you to take initiative and go all the way here to retrieve this. Please, bring it back safely, I hope it'll make the person who lost this happier."

He was saying all that like he was entrusting you a task of ultimate importance, and with such a serious expression, too...

"Yeah, sure, I will..", you received the item from him, accidentally brushing fingers against his skin - soft, so soft and gentle... A flash of light blinked in the corner of your eye, but died down as soon as it appeared.

"By the way," it was only at that moment that his uniform catched your attention, "Aren't you a Royal Swords Academy student? What are you doing so far away, especially near Night Raven?"

"Oh, you noticed.. To put it simple, I enjoy taking walks around there. It-", he stumbled over words, first time in the last few minutes, "I got bored of sights near my school, and decided to find someplace different. Surely, I'm not bothering anyone nearby?"

Avoiding questions now? "You're not, don't worry, I was just curious, never seen you around there. Care for introductions?"

"...are you saying you don't know me?", the boy inquired with cleat disbelief in voice.

"If I knew you, would I be asking for your name?"

Still unsure, he shook his head gently, clutching at his vest. "You wouldn't... So you really haven't seen anything?", his tone changes suddenly, "That's fine, more than! My name is Neige, pleased to meet you."

You took the hand he offered for a handshake and gave Neige your own name. Wind picked up a notch, kicking up fallen leaves and dust and blowing right in your face; while you were blinked profusely, the boy still looked like he came out of a magazine cover, if not better than before.

Soon you both went your separate ways, the sparkly keychain clinking in your blazer pocket. Trying to retrace your steps back to Night Raven must be bothersome, but not impossible - you'll be back before dusk.

So thought Neige, staying back behind a tree to have one more chance to look at you. So kind, so simple - knightly, even! So eager to help out a schoolmate in need. And here he thought Gran had been right about NRC students being crude. Or was there a mistake, and you had been sent to a wrong place?

"They would fit in with us well... Dominic would surely like them."

[torukmaktoskxawng]

utter betrayal

Pairing: Lyle Wainfleet/Fem!reader

Summary: As part of the jungle escort for the Avatar Program, Corporal Lyle Wainfleet is exposed to Na'vi customs and Dr. Augustine's distaste for him. He can't blame her. After all, he is sleeping with her sister.

Warning: no smut, it's just implied. Death and angst, swear words, name calling, blood, canon-typical violence, claustrophobia.

A/N: Request? No, but I feel like no one talks about the times Lyle used to run with the avatar scientists in the first movie, and I felt like that could make a potent mix of angst 😈 Just an added warning that the majority of this was written on my phone so its not nearly as long or as detailed as I wanted it to be, but I had this idea and I wanted to quickly write it out. I don't like Lyle but I consider this a character study that I challenged myself with. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~

"Stay with the ship. One idiot with a gun is enough."

"You're the man, doc."

Y/n only spared Lyle a look before she went to catch up with the avatar crew. Squeezing past Norm and Sully, she reached her sister at the head of the group, "You could cut him some slack. He's trying."

Grace rolled her bright yellow eyes, busying herself with watching the trees carefully, trying to narrow down any familiar signs of the Na'vi watching their little science crew of avatars, "The dimwit is too trigger happy. Parker shouldn't have assigned him to us for how sensitive this mission is."

"Mm. That's not the only reason why you hate him," Y/n smirks, and it only grows the more irritated Grace appeared. Jake was watching the Augustine sisters interact from the back of the group, curiously watching the way Y/n bravely overstepped boundaries with Grace that he knew he'd be clipped for if he tried.

Sully doesn't have time to think about it after he got chased off by a thanator, forcing Grace to pull back the rest of her team and retreat back to the gunship.

Lyle had spotted them coming from his scope on his AR, peering up as Y/n approached him, "Hey, mama, what's going on?"

"We got a problem," Y/n muttered.

"Everyone get in!" Grace rushed out, determined to get in the air as soon as possible in order to search for Jake. Lyle gets into the cockpit with Trudy while the avatars pile in the back.

No one said anything, but they all thought Jake was already dead. Barely anyone could survive a night alone in the forest, let alone the new guy who was the current target of a thanator. After Trudy calls it, they all hesitantly leave Jake behind without learning of his fate. The moment they landed back at Hell's Gate, Grace rushed her team back to the biolab, and they all immediately broke their links to return to their human forms and try to wake up Jake's.

Crisis was averted when Jake struggled but managed to wake up, exclaiming the avatar was safe within the Omatikaya camp. After the initial relief and Jake's report, everyone had gone their separate ways for the night, excited to get Jake back in the grind in the morning so they could hear more from the Na'vi for the first time in years.

Y/n decided not to turn in yet. Instead, she found herself in the rec room at the same late hour she always does, every night, without delay. And, as usual, her date is always late.

"Hey, little mama."

She rolls her eyes at the pet name and rises to greet Lyle, now standing significantly shorter than him as she presses into his space. Wainfleet hums into her hair then leans down to playfully nip her ear when she held onto him for too long. She scoffs and weakly whacks his arm before moving back to her table and sitting down.

Lyle smirks and doesn't accept this seating arrangement, sitting down and pulling Y/n to sit on his knee as they talked, "So I heard they managed to revive Wheelie."

"You mean Jake? Yeah, he's awake now. He's fine, and so is his avatar." She shrugs while throwing an arm loosely over his shoulders.

"That's gotta be one helluva story how he managed to outrun that devil cat."

"Whether it's real or imbelished, I'm sure he'll be entertaining us for the next week or so."

"Mmhm," was all he responded with as he began to kiss her neck, not working his way up and just going straight to gently sucking her skin between his teeth with intention of marking her.

She happily leans away to give him more access, her breaths softly rising in pitch at the sensation of his tongue and teeth working together while her eyes glance around, "Not here..."

"See, you say that every time," he grins into her neck, his hands inching down her stomach, "And yet we meet up here every time. It's like you want us to get caught, babydoll."

She moaned quietly to herself, not exactly denying it.

~~~~~~~~~

Jake ended up doing more than entertaining the scientists with stories. Before Y/n could blink, months go by, and now she's found herself on the run from the RDA, taking the role as Trudy's copilot while they quickly try to escape with the help of Norm, Jake, and Grace. With Hometree destroyed, Jake and the other labcoats were considered traitors to the cause and held prisoner. Y/n notably didn't ask for Corporal Wainfleet, and neither did he visit her in the brig. She stubbornly didn't say a word about it, more worried about the Omatikaya than her current relationship status. Trudy had told Y/n how Lyle reacted poorly to disengaging before he could even drill lead into the Na'vi and their home, and she didn't want to think about it any longer, the image of Lyle doing that disturbed her.

Determined to warn the Na'vi of Quaritch and his plan to lay out the entire forest, Max and Trudy let the others out of their holding cell and made a break for it, running nonstop to the shipyard. Trudy, Norm, and Y/n fired up the engine and proceeded to help Grace get Jake and his wheelchair into the gunship before hell broke loose. Gunshots followed Trudy's gunship until they were out of range, and then they were suddenly home free, cheering and whooping in celebration.

It was short-lived. Y/n remembered her whole world flipping upside down when she heard Jake announce with barely restrained fear in his voice, "Grace is hit!"

"What?"

~~~~~~~~~

Y/n, in her avatar, was beside herself after Grace died in her arms at the base of the Tree of Souls. The younger Augustine grew to accept comfort from Eywa, knowing that her sister died in a place she had always wanted to go. However, Y/n couldn't find the energy to help Jake and the Omatikaya spread out and recruit other Na'vi clans for their war. She remained with Mo'at at the Tree of Souls, mostly quiet and at war within her own mind.

She fought alongside the Na'vi and stubbornly didn't think about where among the battle Lyle was likely fighting against her. She didn't want to think about him and if he was already gone. She didn't want to think about whether or not he was thinking about her either with hate or betrayal. Either way, she knew she couldn't have faced him in the battlefield even if they did end up running into each other, but they never did. And when the battle was over, she stubbornly focused on her wounded friends and other Na'vi, refusing to find out what Lyle's fate had been until things died down.

Y/n kept busy by trying to help Norm keep his avatar alive after being gunned down in the fight. It took nearly a full day and night, but they had managed to stop the bleeding and stabalize the body, patching the wounds up and leaving it in one of the amino tanks... right beside Grace's avatar. Y/n pointedly wouldn't look in her direction.

It was only when Jake and the others began taking the Sky People's headcount and inventory before sending them on the shuttle back to Earth did Y/n finally allow herself to find out a mystery of her own. She held the list in her hands, a touchscreen displaying names of all the soldiers and other employees of the RDA who were announced missing or otherwise. She blinked back tears at her sister's name, highlighted red, and announced MIA. The RDA didn't know Grace had been wounded let alone killed, and so Y/n decided that they didn't need to have that satisfaction, leaving the status of her sister unknown before scrolling further down. Alphabetically, she had to scroll to nearly the very end of the list before she got the answer she was searching for.

Corporal Lyle Wainfleet - KIA

It felt as though she wasn't allowed to grieve, knowing that she would be grieving a man who did nothing but harm the Na'vi. She only managed to mourn him in private but otherwise wouldn't let anyone ask her about it. She would determinedly deny anything that involved her and Lyle in the future. Instead, she would go on for years just telling everyone that they were more of a fling than anything else. She couldn't afford to think otherwise.

Besides, she had better things to think about, like how she was going to raise her sister's daughter, whose conception still remained a total mystery. After the baby girl was born, Y/n thought about Grace's Na'vi name, Kìreysì, and decided to name the Na'vi infant Kiri.

~~~~~~~~~

FIFTEEN YEARS LATER...

Y/n didn't believe Jake and Neytiri when they spoke of avatars with the names of dead soldiers from a war so long ago. After the Sullys returned from a dangerous interaction with these new avatars and Spider was captured, Y/n held Kiri tightly that night, the teenager beside herself after her best friend's kidnapping. Her aunt, however, was quiet other than the physical comfort she provided. Y/n's own mind was clouded, thinking back to Jake's description of these new RDA avatars. He had confirmed Quaritch to be one of them, but otherwise couldn't be certain about the others, not to mention the handful he, Neytiri, and even Neteyam killed.

For the safety of the People, the Sullys decided to leave and so Y/n and Kiri followed them. They fly to Awa'atlu to live among the Metkayina, and for those few months, life was peaceful again, aside for the strife Y/n felt when Kiri had a seizure.

After the tulkun were attacked, however, war was ever apparent again. Jake and the entire Metkayina clan swim to the kids' rescue after Lo'ak called in the siting of the demon ship. With Payakan's help, the Na'vi had the upper hand. While Jake and the Reef People attacked from below in the water, Neytiri and Y/n attacked from above, flying down from their ikrans. They weren't expecting the Sky People to have ikran of their own, and for the first time, Y/n laid eyes on these new avatars as she helped gun them down.

She got separated from Neytiri during the initial battle, then the sky began to darken and Y/n was frantically searching for Kiri among the chaos. She finds her, eventually, screaming for help while also demanding her captor to let her go. Y/n spotted an ikran carrying the teenager to the demon ship and so she dives down, quietly jumping down onto the ship as well before ordering her ikran to fly away. Y/n sneaks through the ship before finding Kiri and her captor.

It was another avatar, completely armed to the teeth in weapons and standard military gear. He was bald apart from the queue braid and had sunglasses resting on his forehead. Something about him struck Y/n with a sense of familiarity, and then her blood ran cold when she caught sight of the avatar's name patch on his vest.

L . WAINFLEET

She can't afford to deny her eyes or even accept what she was seeing. Before she could blink, the avatar had grabbed Kiri by her hair and roughly pulled the girl up to her feet, causing her to cry out. Before she could think straight, Y/n rushed forward with her arm out to her niece, "Lyle, wait!"

Lyle looked up at his name and quickly grabbed his knife, pressing it to the Na'vi girl's neck and forcing the woman who was about to ambush him to stop in her tracks, several feet away. It took a minute, but Lyle managed to recognize the avatar woman in front of them, despite the fact she wore her hair differently and now wore proper Na'vi attire.

Kiri had confirmed the woman's identity to Lyle when she whimpered out in fear, "Aunt Y/n--"

Lyle pulled the kuru braid in his hand sharply, causing Kiri to yelp as he snarled, "Shut up!"

"Lyle--"

He turns his glare to the woman in front of them, "Don't come any closer, traitor!"

"I'm the traitor?" Y/n's eyes narrowed, "Look who hasn't seen a mirror lately."

He seethed, the pent up rage he felt at the very thought of her finally coming to light ever since he woke up in a different body, "You turned your back on us-- on me! And for what? For them? For this half-breed?"

"The Na'vi were here first!" She screamed back, "We don't deserve this place to be our home if we're just going to burn down every tree and shoot up every animal we don't like!"

"These freaks of nature are just animals! Quaritch says they're bloodthirsty animals--"

"Dammit, Lyle, they're not! Quaritch purposely threatened them! He pushed and egged them on until they had no choice but to fight back!" The words made him pause, but she continued to scream in defiance, "Human blood is not on their hands, it's on Quaritch's hands because he doesn't actually give a damn about 'good men and women'. He just cares about bloodshed! He's a bloodthirsty monster. If anything, I should feel betrayed by you! After all, you're the one helping the man who killed my sister!"

His expression was still timid, despite the hate and anger slowly dissipating. His grip still tight on Kiri, Lyle snarled with disdain, "So what, you made a family with these savages after we ganked your sister?"

Y/n sucks in a breath and her eyes dart to Kiri, "That girl is not a savage, Lyle. Look at her."

He does so, looking down at his captive. Upon closer inspection, the girl did spark a feeling of recognition in the back of his head, but he wasn't sure from what until Y/n spoke again, "She's Grace's daughter. She's all I have left of her."

Lyle's expression hardened as he peered back up at the woman in front of him. Her ears drooped, and her eyes were pleading behind the unshed tears, her breath shaking as she begged pathetically, "So, please... please don't hurt my niece. Take me if you have to, but please don't hurt my baby."

He's strangely quiet, eyes unwavering as they glared into her soul. Y/n wasn't sure what was going on in his head. The man always had a clever poker face, but he stared at her like he was trying to figure out a motive. He never got the chance to answer, however, as the screech of an approaching ikran broke the silent stand-off. All heads look up and catch sight of another banshee, decked out in military gear, landing on the platform above them. The rider, another avatar, breaks away from the ikran and jumps down between Y/n and Wainfleet. When he stood straight up, Y/n sucked in a sharp breath as she came face-to-face with Quaritch, her sister's killer.

The colonel stared Y/n with a firm, victorious grin, addressing the man standing behind him while still sizing up the female avatar, "Well done, Lyle."

Y/n's ears were still pinned to her skull, but her tail thrashed wildly behind her as she bared her teeth, hissing in defense, "You."

"If it ain't the Other Dr. Augustine. You don't look like you've aged a day," Quaritch steps off to the side to point back at Kiri, "She yours?"

Y/n was wise enough not to speak, but her heart squeezes painfully when Lyle presses the knife closer to Kiri's neck, causing the teenager to whimper in fear, "Auntie-!"

"Dammit, Lyle, let her go!" Y/n's voice cracked as she screeched desperately, and even Lyle could admit he flinched, her plea breaking the air and driving his cropped ears to wildly turn at the source.

Quaritch appeared satisfied as if he solved a mystery, "Ah. So she's your sister's. Where is that old bitch, huh?" He pointedly looked around, "That woman had a bite even before having a child, I doubt she'd be any nicer. So why isn't she here?"

Lyle seemed fit to answer for her, his voice still accusatory, "The traitor mentioned that she died, Colonel."

Quaritch hummed, "So. Old Dr. Augustine actually did kick the bucket, eh? If memory serves, I could've sworn I clipped her, but I was never sure. It's good to know that not all traitors walked away unscathed."

"You son of a bitch," Y/n's voice trembled even through her defensive stance, her ears occasionally moving in the direction of Kiri whenever the girl squirmed under Lyle's hold, otherwise, Y/n's eyes kept firmly staring at Quaritch, wary.

"Now that's no way to talk to the man who got your niece under a knife."

"You call yourself a man?" Y/n hissed, "What kind of man blindly follows orders and slaughters innocent women and children? I don't know if you remember the planet we come from, but on Earth, they would've locked you away so deep you would've never seen the light of day again, you fucking psychopath."

Before another word was spoken, a familiar, smaller figure appeared between Y/n and Quaritch. A teenage boy, dressed in a breathing mask and a loincloth, covered in blue paint meant to resemble stripes, his eyes only on Kiri while pleading up at the man who claimed to be his father, "No, wait! Don't hurt her!"

"Spider?" Kiri cried.

"Spider, get outta here!" Y/n ordered, "Get help!"

"Don't hurt her, please!" Spider continued to beg, his eyes now focused up at the colonel standing above him, "Don't do this!"

Y/n decided that desperate times called for desperate measures, and so with only deciding at the last possible second, she reached forward and snatched Spider, pulling him back into her arms and keeping her hands tightly on both of his shoulders so he couldn't get away. Quaritch reacted by quickly stepping forward, but stopped when Y/n hissed ferociously as if she was protecting her meal. Once she knew he wouldn't pursue them further, Y/n relaxed only slightly before proclaiming, "I'm not gonna hurt your son, Quaritch. He's safe with me because I'm not like you. I don't hurt kids. The question is whether or not you hurt my kid."

"Please," Spider continued to beg Quaritch, despite now acting as a hostage. He was still only thinking about Kiri's safety, "Please don't hurt her."

Conflicted, the colonel doesn't move, his eyes flicking between Spider and Y/n. Lyle's feet shuffle behind him, but doesn't otherwise move, his knife still pressed into Kiri's neck, the tension only rising when no one moved. Spider still hung onto hope, waiting with bated breath for his father to see reason.

But the only thing Quaritch saw reason to was to raise his gun and pull the trigger, shooting Y/n point blank in the chest. The woman staggered back at the impact, toward the edge of the ship, and instead of letting go of Spider like Quaritch intended her to do, she only held on tighter in her shock, pulling Spider with her.

Lyle stiffens in shock, loosening the knife around Kiri to the point where the blade itself was barely in his grasp. His eyes widen as he watched Y/n collapse to her knees, Spider spinning around, his back to Quaritch, as he tried to steady the Na'vi woman and shield her from the man still holding the gun.

"No! Mom!" Kiri screamed horrifically, managing to break away from her captor when she realized that his grip on her had loosened.

"Y/n!" Spider yelled in fear, reaching to grab hold of her as Kiri suddenly appeared out of nowhere, both of them crowding the woman who practically raised them together.

Weak and shaking, Y/n tried to take deep breaths and apply pressure to her own wound. Quaritch shot her with the intention of letting his son go, so while the bullet hole currently drilled into her collar, shattering said collar bone wasn't going to kill her right away, it was still lethal.

She doesn't have time to think about it, her thoughts and instinct still shouting at her to get the kids out of harm's way. Shaking from head to toe, in pain, she gripped Kiri and Spider's shoulder in both of her hands as she wheezed quietly at them, smiling as softly as possible, "Get out of here."

And with that, Y/n blocked the kids from Quaritch' sight and his gun, pushing them with all her might until Kiri and Spider were sent over the edge of the ship, screaming her name and crying on the way down, too shocked to stop their own fall until they hit the water.

Y/n heard an angry snarl behind her and just as she turned around, her cheek met someone's fist and she was sent crumbling to the floor, barely managing to catch herself with her hands now covered in her own blood. She spits blood on the ground after the punch made her bite the inside of her cheek before staggering to sit up on her knees, glaring up at Quaritch and now Lyle through her eyelashes.

"Unlike you, I have one life left, you son of a bitch," she grinned almost maniacally, "One more body. So just wait. Because next time we meet, I'm going to kill you."

Her gaze slyly turns to only Lyle, her disdain and betrayal still evident in her eyes as she spat out, "And next time, I'm gonna make sure you stay dead."

Lyle has never been a coward, but the one time he was, it was when he looked away as Quaritch raised his pistol again, making sure to point it right between Y/n's eyes. With his back turned to the corporal, Quaritch didn't see Lyle flinch when he pulled the trigger, the gunshot ringing in the air as the body collapsed to the floor.

~~~~~~~~~

Y/n gasped loudly, about to sit up with all her strength until she realized she was strapped down in the link bay gurney, the soft glow of the lights inside the gurney blinking down at her. She continued to breathe heavily and sporadically, trying to get her lungs to expand fully but it was almost as if they couldn't. She screamed at the top of her lungs, desperate for someone to hear her, until finally the gurney moves and the lid was thrown open. Several of her human friends and family surround her and pull her out, all of them talking at once, asking questions and concerned as to what happened. Y/n isn't able to realize she was back in the biolab stationed in the Hallelujah Mountains as she continues to gasp and choke, her hands pawing at her chest as if looking for something that wasn't there.

Norm's eyes widen, recognizing the signs of a human who was forced out of their link after their avatar's death. He ushers everyone out until it was just him and Max in front of Y/n, the taller scientist holding her shoulders gently in both of his hands, concern in his gaze, "Y/n. What happened?"

It takes a long time, but Y/n managed to find her lungs again and began to breathe more steadily than before, still occasionally shaking as she takes in her surroundings. Her thoughts and memories catch up to her until her heart picks up in speed again, the panic returning as she thought of Kiri, Spider, the Sullys, Quaritch... and Lyle.

"We need to get back to Awa'atlu... Now!"

~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I managed to get this done and posted at work, so yeah, I hope it was okay even thought it was done via phone.

Request page is here, but please read the rules before leaving a request in the ask box, thank you!

[itspbandjellytime]

"The Assistant" [Hailee Steinfeld x Fem!Reader] - Chapter 2

Plot: Y/N Waldorf is fresh out of college and her first job is being Hailee Steinfeld's personal assistant, but what Y/N doesn't know is that Hailee is hiding a huge secret from the general public and from her, as her assistant.

Notes: This is a multi-chapter fic, you can also read this on wattpad under the same username "itspbandjellytime". This fanfic is also going to contain NSFW themes in the near future, so if you're under the age of 18 please don't read this. Thank you! If you haven't read chapter 1, here's chapter 1: Chapter 1

Word count: 2k words

[Y/N POV]

Few days have passed since I've moved from Washington to California for this job and stay with Jackie temporarily, I didn't realize that living with your friend could be this fun. I've never had any roommates or anything when I was living in Washington and studying, well I have Kelly who visits me from time to time but things get a little bit lonely when you're not with people. For my case, not anymore.

Jackie and I spent our days going out to eat, look around the city, and talk about stuff that we needed to catch up on before the big day, which is me starting my job as Hailee's personal assistant. I still like to think that this whole ordeal is a fever dream, cause there is no  way in hell or heaven that I got a job as her personal assistant. And of course, I decided to dress nice even though Laura didn't e-mail me about the dress code, I still need to look my best when I am face to face with Hailee Steinfeld. I put on a pair of slacks and a pair of black high heels and a while long sleeve button down shirt, my hair is down and I added some light make up and  jewelry to make myself a little bit mature and presentable.

"So how do I look?" I asked Jackie, a smile forms on Jackie's face seeing how well  put my outfit is "You look amazing! One more thing." Jackie says, standing up from the couch to roll my sleeves up so my forearms are exposed "Better, you look like a Victorian boy with the sleeves down. And I bet it's gonna turn your boss off." Jackie says, jokingly which I rolled my eyes and gently slapping her arm. 

"Jackie, I am not there to turn my boss on." I said, chuckling as I straightened my clothes. I checked my phone and my eyes widened to see that it's already 9:25 am, Laura expects me to be at the building around 10:30 am. I start to panic and pace around to grab the essentials that I needed from the counter top, which concerned Jackie a little bit "Y/N, you good?" She asks me.

"I just realized that it's already 9:25, Laura expects me to be there around 10:30." I explained to Jackie, Jackie walks up to me again and asks me "Do you want me to drive you to the office?" Thank God, I became friends with this woman from stan twitter. If I wasn't friends with Jackie, I'd be living on the street by now. "Please!" I said in a dramatic tone, making us both laugh. 

Jackie didn't bother glamming up, since she's just gonna drop me off the building I will be meeting Hailee. Jackie just threw in a pair of sweatpants underneath her old gym shorts and a jacket, she grabbed her keys, phone, and wallet patting my back "Alright, I'm set. Let's roll." Jackie says heading out of the apartment, and I followed suite.

After braving the Los Angeles traffic, and a few road rages from Jackie here and there, we managed to arrive at the building at around 10:25. I wouldn't say it was picture perfect but, at least I am not late. I got out of Jackie's car and stared at the huge building in front of me, I turned around and waved goodbye to Jackie before she headed back to her apartment.

My hands start to shake and my legs start trembling, I can already feel the nervousness rushing through my veins as I look at the building right in front of me. I take a deep breath and proceed to enter the building. I walked up to the front desk with a confident smile on my face, my eyes fixate on the name plate the front desk lady has and back at her "Hi, I am here to see Laura McKinnon?" I said in a costumer service-y voice. 

When all of a sudden, this woman came out of the elevator, she's blonde and has green eyes, and is also wearing something that a mix of casual and corporate. She's walking up to me with a warm smile on her face, turns out that woman is Laura "Y/N, it's nice to meet you in person. Miss Steinfeld is already expecting you, follow me." Laura told me as I follow her to the elevator, once we were at the elevator, Laura presses a button that leads us to the 12th floor of the building.

As Laura and I arrived at the 12th building, she lead me down the hallway and made me stop outside the door of an office which I assume it's Hailee's. "Wait here for a while Miss Waldorf." Laura says, as she enters the office. I stood there for at least thirty seconds, and after waiting Laura came out of the office "She's ready to see you now." Laura said with a smile on my face as she left. 

I took another deep breath and reached for the door knob, twisting it as I enter the office. Once I was there, I was greeted by none other than Hailee Steinfeld sitting on an office chair with a smile on her face, holy hell she's very pretty up close. "You must be Y/N Waldorf." She says, with that smooth sounding voice that will get me weak on my knees in a matter of seconds but I have to be on my best impression and not say anything out of pocket. "Yes, I am Y/N Waldorf. It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Steinfeld." I said, trying my best to be confident in front of this gorgeous woman.

Hailee smiles at me and chuckles "Have a seat." She said, gesturing towards the chair across her. I walked up to the chair and sat down, my eyes are now looking into her hypnotizing hazel eyes which caused me to twiddle my thumbs under the desk. "So tell me about yourself, I like to get to know people a little more." Hailee said, I cleared my throat and fixed my posture before I start to speak.

"Well I just graduated college a few months ago, I am born and raised in Washington and I drove all the way from Washington to California... And I live with my friend who I met on Twitter because we are such big fans of you." I said, smiling at Hailee hoping to break the ice between us. Hailee chuckles again, this is the second time I made this woman smile already... I think she likes me. 

"You're so dedicated Y/N, just what I need for my team. Also how long have you been a fan of me? Just curious." Hailee asks, the smile not leaving her face. I chuckle and smile at her "Well ever since I've watched The Edge of Seventeen, I loved you as Nadine and yeah... Never looked back ever since." I answered as I keep that smile on my face. Hailee nods, leaning back her chair "Interesting, I love that. Y/N quick question, how long have you been staying with your friend?" She asks, leaning in closer to me, resting her elbow on the desk and her chin on the palm of her hand. 

"For almost a week now, I am apartment hunting right now and all I can say is that living in LA is kind of expensive." I say, Hailee chuckles as she moves a strand of hair away from her face "I agree, as time flies the rent in Los Angeles gets higher. I don't blame you, this along with New York, are the cities for dreamers so there are a lot of people living here. Speaking of, do you want to live with me for the mean time?" Hailee asks me her eyes twinkling. 

I froze for a second, did Hailee Steinfeld ask me if I can stay with her at her house? In Malibu?!? I looked around my surroundings and looked back at Hailee "Are you serious?" I asked her, hoping she was joking or not. "I am being serious, after all I need to be close with my personal assistant and you won't worry about being late. So what do you say Y/N?" Hailee asks me again, this time a warm smile forming on her face. A smile formed on my face and I nod "Sounds good to me, when do I move in?" I ask her, Hailee leans back again and sighs "Well, how does tomorrow sound? We got some serious business to deal with tomorrow." She asks me back, raising a brow.

"Tomorrow sounds good." I respond, smiling at her with pride as I slowly but surely get used to her now "I am glad to be on this journey with you, Miss Steinfeld." I say, Hailee laughs and shakes her head, she stands up from her chair and I follow suite. "Please, Y/N. Just call me, Hailee instead." Hailee said, extending her arm out for me to shake. I grabbed her hand and I felt how soft and smoot her hand is, which made my heart skip a beat, I shook her hand and gave her a stern nod. "Yep, I'll keep a note on that." I said, letting go of her hand. Hailee smirks and winks at me "Welcome aboard Y/N." She said.

After that, I decided to take an Uber back to Jackie's place. I still can't get over all of this happened today, it still felt like a dream and I can't believe that this job will be the one that will probably change my life for the better.

"Wait, you're gonna live with Hailee?!?" Jackie exclaimed as she grabs a bag of chips from her pantry, I smiled and nodded as she sat down next to me "Yeah, insane right? She said that she wanted me to move in with her." I said, still shocked as I grabbed a handful of chips from Jackie. "You are basically living every fans life, and I am jealous! But at the same time proud of you." Jackie pats my shoulder, putting her arm around me as we binged watch Parks and Recreation.

[HAILEE'S POV]

I had dinner with my manager Laura to discuss things after I met my personal assistant, I sit down across her as our food was served by the server. "Hailee, we need to discuss about your bold move of moving Y/N in your house." Laura said, I furrowed my brows at her words, tilting my head in confusion. "What do you mean by that Laura? I am just doing an act of kindness towards my new personal assistant." I said taking a sip of my beverage and putting it down, Laura sighs as she rubs her temples "I get that, I think it's a good idea. I don't have a problem with that, but however... What if she knows about your secret?" Laura says opening up about the secret. 

I swallowed hard, looking around if someone is hearing our conversation "Laura, I've known Y/N just today, I rest assure you that she is a trustworthy assistant. And I bet she won't know what I do behind closed doors." I reassured my manager, I have a feeling that my assistant will not be a huge tattletale despite the fact I've known her already after my conversation with her earlier in my office. "Alright, I trust you on this one." Laura told me, chuckling as she takes a sip of her drink. I smiled at Laura, this woman has been my manager ever since I was a little girl, she's like my second mother at this point "Thanks, Laura." I said as we continued to have dinner. Excited for Y/N to move in with me and start to do some serious business together.

[strawberryamanita]

Okay, so... hoo boy.

I try to acknowledge every time I make a political post that I cannot tell anyone what to do. I'm one irrelevant person, I'm not a political spearhead nor do I want to be one, I haven't been able to sway anyone about anything, yadda yadda blah blah blah. If this post gets completely overlooked, so be it. If I get verbally trampled-on by people who don't agree with me, so be it.

But while everyone else is causing a flood of coins on the floor, I'll throw my own 2 cents in.

I think what would be helpful right now -- just in this moment, for the short-term -- is getting through these feelings of worry and despair and panic that I see many posts on my feed announcing. The facts are in front of us: there was an assassination attempt, it failed, and that's worrying because it's gonna embolden the Right even further than they've already been lately. That's completely reasonable to be upset about, it's not irrational to see the danger this will put us in on the streets on the days leading up to the election.

At the same time, there ARE, believe it or not, some positive facts that are having an impact on your life right now. Trump had to go the hospital. He could possibly have a heart-attack. He could possibly go septic. He could possibly be assigned a medical professional that is brave enough to kill him. There was a person brave enough earlier today to show him and his following that enough people in the world hate him to want him dead. Social media being flooded with cheers that he was injured and laments that it didn't kill him is further proof to said willfully ignorant following that they are in the minority. Even if more US voters are enthusiastic about Trump as I type this, most of the world wants him obliterated, and that should be something to hang onto. So much of this is about ego and confidence of the Right. It's not in our best interest to let them think they have a leg up on us.

And the biggest piece of good news is, the US presidential election didn't happen yet! That wasn't the last stand right there, that wasn't the ballot count or the televised verdict. "Surviving" a non-lethal shot that didn't hit any important organs or arteries doesn't mean you automatically win an election. That didn't push an Eject button on Biden's seat to launch him out of the White House or anything like that.

Trump is not invincible. He is not immortal. He is not unkillable. And just because his cult of followers want to canonize him (though they wanted to do that before he was even elected the first time), that doesn't mean WE are obligated to throw in the towel and hang our heads and lick their heels. If it's cathartic or it's helping you de-stress, then by all means cry all you need to -- but we unfortunately can't afford to let this sink us into a collective depression.

He didn't win an election that hasn't happened yet. I promise you this. Look on ecosia.org if you need proof of who is in-office, since they don't use AI(currently).

And no, none of this is to downplay anything. I'm not living in a lie. I promise you, I've been making myself physically ill from the horrors of the world I've been exposed to, day after day, non-stop, on this fucking website. If exposing myself to the bottomless abyss of human evil actually desensitized me and helped me be less fearful, it would've worked by now, but all it does is exhaust me.

It honestly oftentimes makes me actively suicidal -- and I know for a fact I'm not the only one, especially after today, or when Trump was granted legal immunity, or any of these other awful past days. But if I killed myself before I did everything I could to keep this sinking ship of a country afloat just a little longer, that wouldn't be responsible of me.

So, if you're still reading, and not already typing out some response accusing me of things I already tried to tell you I'm not doing before you even finish reading...

Now is the time to practice being brave.

Look at the facts. Don't let yourself spiral from doomscrolling. Cry when you need to, and then keep going. Vote in every local election you can, attend protests and rallies, spread information from trustworthy sources to every social media handle you have -- and for God's sake, find something to keep you hopeful. Escapism is a survival tool: as long as you aren't using it to avoid reality, it doesn't have to be eliminated from your life. You will feel stronger if you let yourself recharge with moments of happiness, I guarantee this.

If you're too suicidal to keep going for yourself, keep going for someone else. It can be someone in your immediate life, it can be a stranger suffering overseas, it can be a child who hasn't been born yet that will see a future built on top of our present. Whatever it takes to keep you from giving up, put it to the front of your mind. Link arms with your Leftist siblings, and then make a habit of it. We cannot keep collapsing from the inside from the smallest of inconveniences, it helps literally none of us.

It's not over until they ring that bell. We have 3 and a half months, don't lose speed now.

I believe in you.

[hghhhhh-big-boys]

Imagine waking up, you feel my hard cock pressing into your back. You freeze. Somehow you and your friend ended up spooning in the middle of the night. It’s morning wood. We’re just friends sharing a bed - nothing more. You try to convince yourself as you start to feel heat rise through you. Your erection suddenly very noticeable.

Little do you know I heard your little gasp. I felt your heart start racing, I see your cheeks turning red. And I’m so glad you’re finally fucking awake.

You feel my tongue on your neck, then my teeth as I bite down ever so gently, holding back my hunger. “Is this okay, puppy?”

Your eyes shoot open, though you remain curled up in front of me, my little spoon. You had no idea I was awake, but fuck, you’ve gotta answer me, wouldn’t want me changing my mind now…

You nod your head viciously, embarrassed, frozen with anticipation. Dreamily, your eyes close again. And that’s all the permission I need.

I see your hard cock under the thin sheet that covers us. I shift slightly so I can lower myself, you feel my cock nestle between your cheeks, teasing your hole. Pulling you in tight, you pant lightly as you feel my hips pull away, and push back, over and over, now grunting against your neck as I bite harder this time. You moan, making me buck into you hard. But your attention suddenly shifts to my fingers that are slowly grazing your hip, then your stomach, pausing at your only garment. You feel a finger under your waistband, I tug your shorts down, hand now hovering just above your cock.

“Do you want me to touch you?” I whisper, taunting you, my voice still low and gravelly, my breath tickling the hair on the back of your neck.

You whimper, “Fuck, please.” You’ve nearly gone dizzy. Getting this horny this soon after waking up is making your head foggy, like you’re in a dream. You want me to touch you.

“That’s all you had to say, pet.” In a mere moment, the sheet is gone, thrown to the floor, you feel me move quickly. Your shorts suddenly sliding off, just like the sheet - discarded. I pull you onto your back, your eyes finally fluttering open again, and suddenly you find me sat up between your legs.

You start to feel your cheeks flush, being so exposed. Our gaze meets, and your eyes travel down taking me in for the first time this morning. A sheen of sweat on my chest catches the sunlight coming in through the small window behind you. Eyes lowering still, you realize you’re not the only one with nothing on.

I press my cock against yours and groan, “Mm fuck, I knew I’d like this,” i whisper to myself, my hand moving to your cock, I pause to spit into my palm. “You’re a good little play thing, aren’t you puppy?” My fingers wrap around you, sliding up and down ever so slowly. Your eyes close again, your mouth opens and you silently enjoy your little treat. I pause, playing with the tip of your cock, your toes curl as I hear tiny little gasps and moans escape your throat. I love watching you squirm.

You feel my precum drip onto your thighs. You look down to take in the sight. One hand moving up and down your cock, the other comes up to squeeze your nipple. You yelp out, making me laugh at you. Suddenly brave, you’re able to push through this fog of desire, confusion and lust to form a complete sentence. You manage to groan out your plea, “Pl-please, fuck me.”

You see my teeth as I flash a wicked grin, hair draped in my face, our eyes lock and you notice mine look wicked with anticipation, “With pleasure.”

I toss you and flip you over so your face is in the pillows, and ass is on display, “Stay.”

You feel your cock twitch at the command, you were hoping I’d stop fucking around and get to the good part soon.

My footsteps get quiet as I leave the room, you hear a bag zip and your heart drops. Am I just leaving you there? You’re so fucking horny - desperate - there’s no fucking way, right?

My footsteps become louder again. And suddenly, silence. But as you feel the weight of the bed shift, you know I must be back.

Suddenly, your entire ass is slick. You feel liquid dripping down the backs of you thighs. My hand comes up and smacks your cheek, leaving a perfect red handprint. “Perfect.” I play with your rear for a bit, grabbing your cheeks, bitching them lightly, a few more smacks, and teasing you with a finger or two just barely pressing into you.

You feel something rough next your feet. But before you have time to consider what it could be, you jump, there’s something pressing into your hole. I kneel down so I can can whisper in your ear. “Since you asked so nice, i’m going to do what I’d like with your body.”

You don’t even get the chance to respond before you feel something slip into your ass. As it starts vibrating your realize it’s a prostate massager, not thick, but long. You moan, loudly this time at the electricity and heat you feel from the inside, “Nnngggg, FUCK.” You’re just so relieved to finally have something inside you, you sigh with relief.

You feel my weight shift again and the curious object you’d forgotten about becomes all too clear as you feel the rough material wrapping around your ankles and being tied off. Your excitement can’t be contained as you continuously moan and whimper with yourself on display. You know I’m taking great pleasure in playing with you. I shut off the vibrator in your ass and you whine. You jump as it turns back on at max setting. Ass up, feet tied, you’re practically drooling. And I’m becoming impatient.

“You look cute, pet. I’m starting to get jealous of that toy though.” Standing over you, I move the toy inside you, making you nearly shout as you become overstimulated by it. You feel it slide out of you, and you’re nearly relieved, your cock dripping onto the perfect white sheets, you catch your breath, sweating. A moment of rest, you feel drunk with lust.

Wondering if it’s over, you try to glance back But then you feel it - my hard dripping cock pressing into your hole. You gasp, freeze, and hold your breath as I push myself into my toy. You cry out, “Yes, please fuck me,” I start moving, slow at first, just taking in the sight of you. You look dazed, your hands grasping at nothing, I watch you enjoy every last bit of my cock. I start moving faster, I’m pounding into you hard enough that each thrust is met with an audible interruption in your moaning.

You feel my cock start to throb in you with each motion my moans become more demanding. You find the rhythm and begin pushing yourself into me with each thrust.

You feel just on the edge of your orgasm, heat spreading through you, and as we continue fucking each other like this, you feel my cock start to throb and twitch. My voice is much quieter, but no less commanding. “Cum, pet.” Your eyes close as you grasp the sheets and cry out “Fuuckk!” I grab your hips harder now, pulling you back into my cock fucking all sense out of you, I feel your asshole tightening around my cock. I start to groan.

You feel the electricity travel up your spine, the heat moves from your fucked asshole to your nearly untouched cock. My dick starting to throb and twitch, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum .” Your hole tightens around me, and I lose it. As I grip and pull your hips, you feel my hot load fill you.

~

I found myself… inspired, by a few of your posts. Be good… or don’t.

Cums cums cums

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Predicting my 2023 solar return chart because I couldn’t sleep😴

2023 solar return chart is looking too much scary and crazy for me. My birthday is in June and it’s 2 months ahead but I think the effects have already started to show up in some areas of my life at this moment.

•Scorpio rising at 18 degrees (Virgo deg)

-I think this year, I would be mainly focused on transformations for myself, emotionally and physically.

-I went through a very intense and messy breakup and I found myself reflecting these circumstances a lot lately.

-I’ve been watching videos about self-concept, psychology and manifestation on youtube because I actually want to transform myself and I have a feeling I would succeed.

-I want to transform myself into someone who’s powerful with a lil bit of mysterious aura.🤭

-I started to take interest in occult and metaphysical topics and witchy stuff.

-I bought my first tarot deck about two weeks ago just because my gut told me to do it.

-I started to rely a lot on my intuition and most of them are on point.

-I had some prophetic dreams which came true in real life. (thanks to my natal Neptune and Uranus in 8th house too) IT’S KINDA CRAZY. THAT DREAM HAPPENED EXACTLY IN MY REALITY.🤯

-I notice that I also tend to become more private on social media and I back away from people, even from my best friend who I used to talk with everyday because I feel so drained for literally no reason. (but maybe this solar eclipse and mercury retrograde are the hidden answer😏)

-I’ve been getting lots of compliments too. One of my guy friends told me that I look like a maneater in these days. (I just had leo rising in 2022 SR chart and my attention-seeking ass is enjoying this too much hehe🙊)

-The MAIN reason why I’m scared of scorpio rising in SR chart is because I was bullied at school, got slapped by my mom, sexually harassed and these all happened for the very first time in my life and also my biggest secret got exposed (which was kinda like receiving karma for what I had done) in the year I had scorpio rising.😃

-The rising degree was at 29 degrees and I was slut-shamed publicly. (❗️Tip: if you have 29 degrees on planets or points in your solar return chart, that might indicate the end of a chapter and a new beginning, for better or worse depends on what you have done and the planet shows in which area you’ll encounter these endings).

-All students knew my name but in a notorious way like “oh that girl? Ummm🙄 *shrugs*”. -These events brought major changes into my life. It changed my whole personality.

-I was scared and in the dark for the whole year. But to face my foes, I had to put on that “I’m fucking strong bitches don’t you dare touch me” mask the whole year. No one was on my side. But these events helped me become a girl who I am right now. I used to be a fun, outgoing, optimistic, free, flirty and giggling little girl but right now, I’m not that kind of girl anymore. I’ve become a brave and strong girl who had gone through a lot but still didn’t give up. However, I have never shown my vulnerable side to anyone up to this day since that year. That year is the year that I’ll NEVER forget. And that’s why I’m feeling a bit nervous to go through another year with scorpio rising.😰

-I might receive karma for what I had done. Good or bad.

-I might also attract a lot of unwanted attention from others since I also have Venus conjunct mars and Lilith conjunct MC this year. Main theme is transformation and shocking things might also happen. My secrets could be leaked maybe. Just don’t wanna assume things before anything happens.🥱

•Sun in Gemini in 8th house at 24 degrees (Pisces deg)

-This year is literally screaming “TIME TO TRANSFORM YOU BITCH” at my face lol😂. -My main focus is gonna be healing ofc and transformation I guess.

-I might have to face my shadow side and I think the universe will push me to deal with it to achieve my higher self.

-I also kinda observe things deeply a lot nowadays and it could go on for the whole year.

-I feel like I might go through my ego death or as I said, an old chapter could end and new beginnings would come.

-I’m a bit worried about me and my family’s health. I’ve been feeling ill for quite some time now due to low blood pressure. I’m also worried about my parents especially my dad because idk I just feel something weird but let’s not think about it because I don’t wanna manifest anything bad to him.🥺

-I’m not going to predict further about this because I’ve said enough above as this is quite similar to scorpio rising. My main focus is 8th house and scorpio themed.🖤

•Sun conjunct Juno

-People say this is like “meeting your soulmate” aspect of the year. I hope I would meet someone too whether it’s platonic or romantic because it’s fun to interact with new people.😺

•Sun square Neptune

-My creation skills could be kinda blocked. It’s happening even right now. In the past, when I started to write about something, the words just naturally flew out of my head but right now, I’m a bit stuck and delayed. My thoughts are delayed. I even forget how to structure sentences creatively.

•Moon in Taurus in 7th house at 21 degrees (Sag deg)

-My emotions could be mainly invested in relationships and partnerships.

-I could be thinking a lot about how to get better in relationships and any-ships.

-I just hope I won’t be lost in love again but I’m pretty sure I definitely won’t too.🤡

-Btw, I love having moon at sagittarius degree because it might mean I would feel optimistic and free like a little girl version of me before 2019!

•Moon conjunct Uranus

-Mood swings. URGH. I don’t even need to predict this because they’re already happening. I have daily mood swings but I notice that since about the start of April, I’ve become so much unstable and inconsistent in my emotions. One minute I’m on instagram and another minute, I’m on google. Another minute I’m on tumblr and I just keep jumping from one tab to another A LOT.

-I also feel quite chaotic and confused about some of my relationships. I love my best friend one minute and another minute, I kinda reconsider if she’s really good for me or not. And I just feel exhausted just by existing.😮‍💨

•Mercury in Gemini in 7th house at 6 degrees (Virgo deg)

-Idk how to interpret this. Please HELP kindly if you can. Thank you! Maybe share your experiences?❤️

•Venus in Leo in 9th house at 8 degrees (Scorpio deg)

-I love having Venus in 9th house when it comes to SR charts. I had this placement in 2022 and man, I had 3 trips in one year and all of those were amazing times for me. It’s pleasant and I felt so excited by those adventures.

-Needless to say, I also met my ex in college (actually the first time we ever met was in 2019, at a language school but we met again in college🙄) and somehow most of my relationships were based in college and they’re going to go more for another 7 years so you can say they’re quite significant.

-So, I think I might also get a boyfriend or boyfriendS from college this year. Or else it could be through traveling, education and religious places.

-I might find aesthetics in learning about spirituality and might be focused and might have fixated opinions on my belief system related to religion (as it is in leo).

-I started to become more religious in these days and I also started to stand firm in what I believe instead of being a people-pleaser and saying “oh I also believe that” to every opinion existing.👏🏻

•Venus conjunct mars

-Yayyy people say this is the year I’m getting most attention from both genders. I mean I don’t like attention that much because it’s draining but who doesn’t love being put in a spotlight if it’s for good? (at this point my natal sun in 12th house being indecisive if he likes attention or not)🤦🏻‍♀️

-I love receiving love from people so this is a great placement for me.

-And also, my sexual energy can be highly increased this year.😶

-I might have several options for romantic partners and might come out more charming and alluring than usual.

•Venus opposite Pluto

-Kinda scared again because my SR chart ruler is in hard aspect with SR Venus which is in 9th house.

-I hope communication between peers would go well and relationships won’t be destroyed because of misunderstandings in communication.

-Idk why but I have this gut feeling that I’m going to attract someone or be attracted to someone who’s manipulative, toxic and jealous. Or I might be the one who would be obsessed with someone having all of those plutonic qualities. My relationships could be pluto-themed and transformative I guess.

-Some people say that this is also an indicator of glow-up in SR chart and I find this pretty accurate because I’m going to the gym for the first time in July!🤩

•Venus conjunct vertex

-Fated love? Fated relationships? Can be through 9th house related places and the other person may have leo or taurus qualities. Or the meeting could be leo-themed I guess?

•Mars in Leo in 9th house at 14 degrees (Taurus deg)

-This can mean I would put a lot of effort into college and it can be true because I have my final exams in June and I have to sweat my ass off for that.😵

-I might be rethinking about my belief system and replanning about my education too.

-As I have my natal mars in natal 9th house, I kinda like this placement because it’s friendly to me.

-I might seek for freedom and would cancel anyone who’s blocking me from becoming confident and free.

-I might go under a sexual encounter which may be brief but transformative. Or maybe one-night stand LMAO (jk I don’t like one-night stands personally).

-I’m a virgin so I’m even a bit curious if I’m going to lose my virginity this year because I have a very strong gut feeling about having first sex with someone who’s important for me.😭👀

•Mars conjunct vertex

-Fated sexual encounter maybe. Maybe fated accidents? Lol I’m sorry I don’t wanna manifest accidents for myself haha😂 But personal planets in conjunction with vertex can also mean fated people might be brought to our life to teach us something, both karmic and non-karmic ones, eg like a teacher or a mentor.

•Mars conjunct Lilith

-I have a very strong gut feeling that I’m gonna gain lots of sexual attention or might attract aggressive partners who want to tame me (sorry guys but my Lilith in 1st house won’t let it happen🤗).

-I might become comfortable and have courage enough to express my sexuality.

-May have power struggles with authority figures.

-I notice that I’ve been feeling like “who are you to judge me bastards” towards controlling authority figures.🌝

•Mars conjunct MC

-I might work hard to reach my goals.

-I might also appear assertive, daring and competitive in public.

-This is also special because my natal MC ruler is mars and it is now highlighted in my SR chart.

-I’m going to the gym for the first time in July too so maybe people would see me athletic and confident this year.

•Jupiter in Taurus in 6th house at 6 degrees (Virgo deg)

-Jupiter is about expansion and luck so, I might gain luck and blessings through my health, my routines, my colleagues (but for me, friends).

-I just wish I won’t gain weight because Jupiter sometimes indicates weight gains and 6th house is health and physical house thank god I’m going to the gym.

-My health could become better BUT since both Venus and mars square Jupiter, love and sex might deteriorate my health in some way - idk how to interpret this.🧘🏻‍♀️

•Pluto in Capricorn in 3rd house at 29 degrees (Leo deg)

-Transformations could arise around siblings, neighborhood, education, short trips, knowledge and communication.

-I also have my natal chart ruler in my natal 3rd house so this energy is quite familiar for me but let’s see how Pluto energy would go this year. (i had Pluto in 6th house last year and I had eating disorder LMAO🤧)

•North node in Taurus in 6th house at 3 degrees (Gemini deg)

-My purpose might be to take care of myself- my health mainly as I said that my health is not so good in these days.

-Also it could be showing that I need to reconstruct my daily routines and abandon every bad habit that is no longer serving me. Maybe I might need to balance my studies and my relaxation time.

•Uranus-moon conjunction conjuncts descendant

-There could be unexpected and sudden changes, events occurring in my relationships. -I feel like I might go into a romantic relationship but that won’t be committed or at least, it would be weird and unusual. Not traditional and maybe shocking too. I might be the one who’s not willing to commit because right now, I have zero desire to start another relationship. Tbh, my ex is still in a part of me and I need to cut him off first. I might attract unconventional people too.

•Lilith conjunct MC

-I started to feel a bit outcasted since my breakup and it became worse. My ex has a new girlfriend now but she and her friends are gossiping about me. I heard it through one of my mutual friends and it’s so Lilith-themed in my opinion. They wanna slut-shame me for no reason. I don’t know why but when other girls kiss their boyfriends, they seem pretty normal. When I kiss my boyfriend, I suddenly become like a slut. I also kinda have to put on “Wtf you bitches, seriously!? Sorry but I’m unbothered” mask in college just to defend myself. As a result, I could be seen as someone who’s unapologetic, daring and untamed. Or maybe I might represent Lilith traits unconsciously in this year.🔫

•Part of fortune in libra 11th house at 15 degrees (Gemini deg)

-I might gain luck through friendships, connections with people, humanitarian work, beauty, social media.

•SR ascendant falls into natal 4th house (3 degrees away from 5th house cusp)

-Mainly focused areas - family, past lessons, roots and childhood. Could also be - romance, fun, flings, dates, creativity, children.

•Fixed dominant

-My mind can be fixated and I might stick to one decision only.

•Earth dominant

-I might be a bit stable but Idk how I feel about this one because I also have moon-Uranus conjunction haha

•Taurus stellium

-Love and beauty could be mainly focused? But I love having taurus stellium because I love taurus energy. They look so calm. In my opinion. At least.🌸

•7th house stellium

-Might be “Love is in the air” year for me but I’m closing my nose till my prince charming comes and commits to me fully and gives me princess treatment. Plus, I don’t wanna kiss froggos anymore. Yuck.💀

Anyways, this was a long ass post and I’m so freaking excited for the upcoming year. Afraid, nervous but at the same time, so curious about what might happen because placements in this year’s chart are a bit crazy and intense in my opinion. Also please bear with my grammar mistakes as I’m an ESL student. You can also share your experiences with me if you have had any of these placements in your previous years’ solar return charts. Thank you!❤️

[lolokouhm]

FUSHIGOVER pt. I [THE LEAKING]

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

this ff is a fix, we’re living post 235 chapter. The rest is irrelevant

Loving him felt like cheating.

I was a fucking cheater.

I've cheated countless times in my life. There was a part of me that was convinced that this incredible luck I for some reason possessed would finally run out one day. I mean, everyone had their limits.

Well, that day definitely was not today.

I was in love with Megumi Fushiguro.

And I was more that ready to tell him that.

Actually no, scratch that. I wasn't. Despite being relatively brave (I was a jujutsu sorcerer after all), I'd much more prefer to exorcise another curse than tell him the truth. Reasons? Multiple. He was my friend. A good one at that. And the blood-freezing amount of shit we've been through together...

I mean, it takes two to tango, right?

Well, let's just put it that way. I didn't see myself tango-ing with Fushiguro anytime soon.

Maybe I was blind. Maybe I needed Gojo's Six Eyes to see what I've been so desperately wanting to see for the past few months, but unfortunately, this technique was, for some reason, reserved only for him. Well, that sucked. Almost as much as my mental state that morning.

'Didn't sleep much?'

The bed was definitely too small for two people, but I didn't really treat Nobara that way - she was a part of me by that time. A whole year of studying together, training together, shopping together, crying together was enough to blend us into one human being. Sort of.

'I'm so done.' I sighed. What would I give to hide under the bedsheets and never come out. At least for the next 15 minutes. 'It's insane that we still have classes.'

'It is', she nodded and snuck under my bedsheets to hug me tightly. 'Two more years and you'll be in the clear. So get up and let's go. We've got things to do.'

I stood up and slowly went into the bathroom, to make sure nobody would confuse me with a curse and I wouldn't get exorcised by mistake. That would suck. I shivered in front of the mirror, fixing my hair and putting on some sunscreen. Nobara joined me a moment later, being the only girl in the whole school that actually understood the importance of SPF filters, especially in this field of work. We were exposed to the weirdest shit on the entire planet, so the least we could do was putting on some cream.

'I've heard that he's coming back.'

'Today?' I tried not to sound too excited, but I apparently failed, as my best friend suddenly chuckled.

'Yup, today. So, is that it? Is that THE date? Should I prepare for being the only single person out of us two?' Nobara put the cream back in the drawer, delicately tapping the rest onto her right cheek.

'No.'

'Phenomenal. I've endured your mental breakdowns for the past four months, so I'll guess another few won't kill me. I mean...' She pointed at the left side of her face. The scars were getting less red by the day, but we both knew - they weren't going anywhere anytime soon. 'I've survived that. But still, (Y/N). You're hopeless.'

'I'm considerate.'

'You were.' Nobara nodded, catching my glance in the mirror. 'But he's fine now. Or... relatively fine.' She shrugged. 'Whatever. It's not gonna get worse. Someone has to unpack his trauma. You're the best choice. You were the first one to crack the 'fushigover' joke, weren't you?'

I was. And I wasn't particularly proud of that.

'I was drunk. And you were the one who gave me that... Vodka Sour, so it's technically your fault.' Alcohol wasn't my best friend, but Nobara and booze got along pretty well, so sometimes I got dragged somewhere in between them. 'I... Can you even imagine that?' I turned around to face Kugisaki. 'What would I say? Hi, Fushiguro. I've just wanted to tell you that I think I might kinda love you. I know you probably have more important things on your mind than that, but I was about to explode, so please, just don't think about it too much.'

'You're hopeless.'

'I'm realistic', I corrected. My morning routine was over. I was ready to go out. Finally. ‘I can’t just go out like that. It’ll be a disaster.'

'GIRLS!' Somebody opened the door and barged inside my room. 'Have you heard? He's back!' Yuuji suddenly appeared next to Nobara. His eyes shone in excitement. 'Fushiguro's finally back!'

My heart skipped a beat.

'Already? Gojo's back too?'

'Yup.' Yuuji nodded and looked at me. 'Oh, (Y/N). He wants to talk to you.'

I frowned. Gojo wanted to talk to me? Right after he and Fushiguro came back from Kioto? That was... surprising, to say at least.

'Now?'

'Yeah. Asap. That's why I came actually.' Yuuji smiled. He was an angel. 'I kinda got too excited. Oh, is that THAT SPF?'

I exchanged a look with Nobara. She seemed quite amused, but a small crease forming on her formed made feel me a little anxious.

Praying I wouldn't see Fushiguro on my way to the Gojo's office, I almost run through the corridors. I've been desperate to see him for the past few weeks, but when the day finally came, I wish I could fall under the face of the Earth and never come back.

It's been almost a month since Gojo got Fushiguro out. Or rather, since Gojo got Sukuna out of Fushiguro's body. That day... I couldn't say I remembered it very well because of the sheer amount of emotions I went through, but even the slightest thought of Megumi's body, laying there lifeless, was making me shake. Oh, that picture was tattooed in my head.

If only you could erase it.

'You're leaking.' That was the first thing I've heard when I entered the room.

'Huh?'

The white-haired man sat in front of me. His gaze was piercing. Gojo smiled and pointed a finger on me.

'I've been wondering for a while now. Sukuna is hiding somewhere, so some disturbances are normal. I'd be surprised, if there weren't any.' Gojo scratched his head. 'But the amounts of cursed energy in this school are ridiculously unbalanced. So I figured, someone has to be in a very bad state.' Gojo crossed his arms, but he didn't really look intimidating - rather amused. 'And it's you.'

'Me.' I repeated after him, not really sure, what to think. 'That's...'

Gojo tilted his head a bit, looking like a curious puppy. No way this man was the most powerful sorcerer.

'That's a very suggestive thing to say.'

The sorcerer chuckled and stood up.

'That was a good one. But nah. Your cursed energy is leaking out of you.'

If Gojo was joking, then the joke didn't sit right at all. What was even worse, most of the jokes we usually cracked together landed perfectly, so combining that with his piercing gaze made me feel even more confused. He wasn't joking. He was serious.

'(Y/N), I seriously adore you. And your sense of humour is just the best. But I've had my eyes on you since that day.' The stronger sorcerer alive, my ass. He suddenly looked somehow apologetic. 'I don't think...' He sighed and I felt weak. 'Let me put it this way. I felt your cursed energy during the fight, even though you were pretty far away. How is that possible?'

'I...' I was speechless. 'I have no idea.'

'You lost control. And you haven't regained it ever since.'

'It's not possible.' I panicked a little when I realised that my voice was actually shaking. 'I've got it all under control. I don't feel bad. Or any different.'

'You're lying.'

I was.

'You have to get it sorted out as soon as possible, otherwise we're going to have our hands full again. And I seriously want a break.' I've never heard Gojo speak like that. Right there, in that moment, he seemed... tired. 'But anyway, congratulations.'

'What for?'

'For getting him out.' The air in the room suddenly became colder. 'If it wasn't for your cursed energy, things might have been... different.' Gojo's gaze wandered for a second, looking for something behind the window. When he finally turned back to me, his fatigue vanished instantly. 'Whatever. I'm glad it happened. Just get it under control. Want some mochi?'

'Yeah.' I needed the sugar to process everything my teacher has just said. 'Maybe even two.'

'Take three.' Chewy rice balls felt somehow calming. 'Oh, and Megumi can't wait to see you. He was sulking most of the time in Kioto, but seemed weirdly excited to come back. And I'm good at connecting the dots. If your cursed technique was able to get his will to live back, then I guess he'll be more than happy to see you.' Gojo stretched his arms. 'Just don't scare him.'

'With what?'

'You know.' Yeah, I had it coming. 'The leaking. Megumi's inexperienced.'

'That was awful.'

'I know. But you laughed.'

I guess I really did.

———

It's really going to be an unhinged series. But we're going to have a lot of fun. Muahaha