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chiaraanatra · 1 year

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You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ | Part 4

Summary: Goose meets you at the O Bar after a couple of drinks and a conversation he wished would never end he believes that he’ll never see you again. Little did he know while this may have been your first meeting, it would not be your last.

Warnings: ANGST but with a happy ending, plane crash, mentions of hospitalization, concussion, and stitches, swearing, flirting, Goose being a hopeless romantic, Silly Goose, use of Y/N and she/her pronouns, kissing.

Word Count: 3012

Songs: Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewi

A/N: This is the last part of this series but I will be posting a short fluffy epilogue. Thank you for all the love on this series! As always I know nothing about planes, aviation, engineering, the Navy, or how a med bay works.

《 part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || epilogue 》《 m.list || ao3 》

After dinner, you two of you talked for hours about everything from your families to your careers and hobbies. Nick left your house around 11 pm. You both wished that night would never end but you both knew tomorrow would be another early morning.

You walked the tall aviator to the door, he slipped on his shoes before turning back to you. “Please tell me this isn’t a one-time thing. I know this is complicated with Top Gun and everything but I-“

Before he could spiral, you leaned up to wrap your arms around his neck and connect your lips with his once more. His hands found their way to your waist. You kissed him slowly for a few moments before pulling away, your hands meeting his cheeks. “I like you too, Nick. It’ll be a bit complicated, but I’d like to see where it goes.”

A big smile made its way to Goose’s lips. He nodded his head before pulling you into his arms and kissing your forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”

Goose pulled into his driveway sitting in his car for a few moments. He couldn’t help the stupid smile that was plastered on his face. He noticed Mav’s living room light turn on. Wonder what he’s still doing up.

He walked across the few feet of yard that separated the two aviators’ rentals. He knocked on the side door just outside the living room, gaining the shorter pilot’s attention. Goose let himself in.

“Still awake?” Mav said as Goose took up a spot on the opposite couch.

“Yeah.” Goose had a perplexed look on his face as he thought over all that had happened in the last 6 hours.

“What's up?”

Goose didn’t answer, trying to think of exactly what to say.

“Talk to me Goose.”

Goose let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, “you’re gonna think I’m crazy, Mav.”

“No more than I already do.” The shorter pilot joked as he leaned back.

“I think I’m in love…”

“With Stinger?” He leaned forward and Goose nodded in response. ”Bullshit! How pussy drunk are you?”

“God Mav, get your head out of your ass. I didn’t sleep with her! She cooked me dinner we talked, we danced to the radio, we kissed…” He could have gone on about how your lips fit together perfectly, how soft your skin was, and how badly he wanted to stay by your side forever but he knew he was gonna get enough shit from Pete for what he was about to say. “Mav, I’m telling you I’m going to marry that girl.”

Pete could barely believe what he was hearing but he knew from the look in his best friend’s eyes that he was dead serious. “Shit… Guess I better get my dress whites ready.”

In the 9 weeks since having dinner at your place, you and Goose began dating each other in secret. Private dinner dates, long walks on the beach, sneaking kisses in the elevator, or behind the F14s parked in the hangar. Thankfully the two of you were better at keeping things under wraps than Mav and Charlie.

On a rare day off, the four of you decided to meet up at a small bar near the base. Mav, Charlie, and you were sitting in a corner booth, Goose saw a piano and decided the empty joint needed a bit of music.

Music rang through the upright piano and throughout the small bar before his voice began to do the same.

You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain

Too much love drives a man insane

You broke my will, but what a thrill

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire

“Doesn't he ever embarrass you two?” Charlie was asking both you and Maverick, but the pilot was the first to answer for you both.

“Goose? Hell, no!” He had a wild smile on his face that faded ever so slightly, “well, there was the time. . .

“Admiral's daughter?” Your words quickly pulled Mav from his thoughts.

“What?” You could see the nervousness grow on his face.

“Come on, Pete. He told me all about the time you went ballistic with Penny Benjamin.”

“Did he?” Mav’s gaze moved towards the Hawaiian shirt-clad, piano-playing RIO, “well, that's great.”

“He’s told me about all of them, Maverick. Quite the past I must say,” you giggled.

“Uh-huh… All right, thank you, Stinger. I'm gonna go embarrass myself with Goose for a while.”

Mav’s voice joined Goose’s.

I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny

You came along and you moved me honey

I've changed my mind, this love is fine

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire

“For as much as I get a kick out of teasing Maverick…” You paused taking a sip of your drink, “from what Goose has told me one thing's for certain: there are hearts breaking wide open all over the world tonight.”

Charlie looked at you with confusion, “Why?”

“Because unless you are a fool, that boy is off the market. Goose says he is 100 percent, prime time in love with you.” You let out a small laugh at the way Charlie’s jaw fell open a little. You turned your attention towards the two aviators.

“Hey, Goose, you big stud!”

“That's me, honey.” He glanced towards you lowering his sunglasses.

“Take me to bed or lose me forever.” You shouted across the empty bar.

“Show me the way home, honey!”

You drag Charlie over to the piano and the four of you finished out the song.

I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs

Real nervous, but it sure is fun

Come on, baby, drive me crazy

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire

Goose pulls you on top of his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Mav may have been in love with Charlie but those feelings could never match what you and Nick felt for one another.

Jester’s voice came through over the coms. “Okay, gentlemen, this is hop 31. Two weeks to graduation. Top Gun trophy is still up for grabs, so every point counts.”

Goose’s voice was the next to come through. “It’s a beautiful Friday morning here in sunny San Diego. It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied. It's time for the big one, gentlemen.”

Ice was checking over his gauges as they approached the proper height. “You up for this one, Maverick?”

Mav gave a cocky smile as he talked into his mask, “just a walk in the park, Kazansky.”

Slider looked out on the radar, “contact. Multiple bogies, 165. Two miles. Looks like they're going away from us.”

“Ho, I see them, tallyho, right 2 o'clock. I'm in.” Just as he was about to lean into the curve Ice cut him off.

“I'm in.” With his plane just ahead and to the right of mavericks he was able to cut him off.

“That son of a bitch cut me off.” Mav was pissed and Goose could tell by the sudden Gs that hit him as the plane curved to trail behind Ice and Slider.

The two plains closely tailed the three bogies. “Come on, come on. Jesus Christ. Ice, take the shot.” Mav was getting impatient, and Goose could tell.

“Come on, Ice, get the hell out of there,” Goose called into his mask.

“I can't get the angle. I'm too close for missiles. I'm switching to guns.” Ice flipped the switch on his weapons system to guns but still didn’t take any shots.

“Ice, fire or clear.” Neither Mav, Goose, nor Slider could understand what was taking Ice so long to line up the shot.

“Look at this! Jesus Christ, I can take a shot right here!” Mav had a clear line of sight just past Ice and Slider’s plane. If Ice moved, he would have the shot in seconds.

“I need another 20 seconds, then I've got it.” Mav still couldn’t tell what Ice’s play was outside of wasting time and costing Mav the Top Gun trophy.

“I'm moving in. I've got the shot.” Mav called.

“Come on, Mav, let's get in there! Goose encouraged. “Come on, Mav!”

“Maverick's getting impatient, Ice. Come on, take the shot!” Slider called.

“Ten more seconds, then I've got him.” Ice was precisely lining up his shot and taking far too long to do so. He knew it Slider knew it and most of all Goose and Mav knew it.

Goose let out a groan of his own frustration. “Come on, Ice, get the hell out of there! Let's do it, Mav.”

“Ice, come off high right. I'm in.” Mav’s voice commanded over the coms.

Ice tried to buy himself a bit more time. “Five more seconds.”

“Come off high right, Ice. I'm in.” Mav began slowly moving his plane into position, pushing Kazansky out.

“I'm off.” Ice shifted his trajectory allowing Mitchel to take his place. “Shit!”

There was a sudden wave of turbulence and alarms began to blare. “We're in his jet wash!”

“Ho! Holy shit!” Mav desperately tried to get the plane under control.

“This is not good!” Goose was quickly checking things over in an attempt to help aid in the recovery. He turned when he heard a sudden silence from his left. “Shit, we got a flameout, Mav! Engine one is out!” The same lack of sound came from his right shortly after. “Engine two is out!”

“Goose, I'm losing control! I'm losing control! I can't control it! It won't recover! Shit!” It was impossible for Mav to gain control back and the G-force was beginning to press him forward.

“It's coupling up, Mav! We're out of control. This is not good! This is not good!” Goose could feel them begin to head into a tailspin.

“Mayday, mayday. Mav's in trouble. He's in a flat spin. He's heading out to sea.” Ice called out as he watched his wingmen spin out of control, unable to aid them.

Goose watched as the altitude gauge began spinning. “Altitude 8,000, 7,000. Six. We're at six, Mav.”

Mav’s face was practically pressed up against the glass. “I'm pinned forward, Goose. I can't reach the ejection handle! Goose, you're gonna have to punch us out! I can't reach the ejection handle! Eject!

“I'm trying! I'm trying!” Goose was desperately trying to reach for the overhead ejection handles, working against the intense Gs.

“Eject! Eject! Eject! Watch the canopy!”

The coms went dead, and your entire body stiffened. You excused yourself from the conference room where you were observing and listening in on the training exercises. Charlie quickly followed suit.

“Oh my god… Oh my god…” your voice was almost as shacky as your body.

“Charlie wrapped her arms around you, enveloping you in a hug. “Common we can meet them at the medical building.” Her voice was surprisingly calm, but you could tell by her stiff figure that she was freaking out just as much as you were.

You both ran to the parking lot, jumping into Charlie’s Porsche Speedster before the blonde woman sped over to the medical building across the base.

It felt like you were waiting forever. Charlie was seated in one of the worn teal chairs while you wore a trail in the tail floor from pacing back and forth. No one would tell you or Charlie anything. Apparently, top security clearance meant nothing when it came to the medical ward being HIPPA compliant.

“Y/N… Sit down, honey.” She patted the seat next to her. you took up her offer, feet in pain from the hours of pacing in your heels.

Charlie wrapped her arm around you pulling you into a comforting hug. With all the time you spent with her at Top Gun, the two of you had become close. “I… I can’t lose him, Charlotte…” You could feel tears stinging your eyes. You had yet to cry in the hours between the crash and now, too mentally shocked for your body to produce tears.

Before she could speak any words of comfort a nurse walked into the room.

"Charlotte, Charlotte Blackwell? I have a Pete Mitchel requesting you.”

She looked over at you with empathetic eyes. “Do you want me to stay with you…”

“No, go…” you gave your best attempts at a weak smile. You watched as she followed the nurse. You rested your head in your hands.

Your mind began to fling itself into worst-case scenarios. What if he’s… he’s… Before you could finish that thought you heard your name. “Y/N, Y/N Y/LN.” You shot up to be greeted by the sight of another nurse. “I have a Nick Bradshaw requesting you.” You stood up and followed her down the sterile hallways. Relief had yet to grace your tense mind or body.

The walk to his room felt like it took even longer than your stay in the waiting room. Your mind was deathly quiet, refusing to think of what state Nick could possibly be in.

The nurse stopped in front of a closed door, “You can go on in.”

You paused for a brief moment before opening the door. You walked down the small hallway that led to the open space that was Nick’s room. You were greeted by Nick laying upright in his hospital bed. His eyes immediately brightened at the sight of you. “Honey!” He made an attempt to swing his legs over the side of the bed.

“Don’t move.” You rushed over to the chair next to his bed, pulling it as close as you could before taking a seat. Nick immediately grabbed your hand and kissed the top gently before pulling you just a bit closer so he could gently kiss your lips.

You pulled back slightly, taking in the sight of the fresh stitches on his forehead, his disheveled blonde hair, and the few bruises and scrapes along his arms. “How are you…” Your voice was soft, much softer than you intended.

“Head’s a little fuzzy. They’ve been scanning, poking, and prodding at me since I got here. As far as they can tell I was lucky to walk away with just a mild concussion and a couple of scrapes and bruises.” His tone is nonchalant as ever and one that you feared you would never get to hear again.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as tears began to spill over onto your cheeks.

“Honey, honey…” He gently grabbed both sides of your face, wiping the tears that began to stain your cheeks away with his thumb. “I’m okay, everything is fine.” He gently pulled you closer to him, making space for you on the bed.

Without a second thought, you climbed in next to him almost scared to touch him for fear he might break or disappear.

Nick appeared to have read your thoughts. “Come here,” he pulled you closer to him, allowing your head to rest on his chest. “I-I was so scared… I thought I lost you…”

“Common now.” Nick brushed the tears away from your cheeks. “You didn’t think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?” He tilted your chin up and gave you that big smile that always made your heart flutter.

“Hey before you get too comfortable, can you do me a favor.”

You looked up at him and nodded, “anything…”

“Hand me my flight suit, it’s hanging in the bathroom.”

You looked at him with slight confusion. “Sure…” You got up and walked a little way down the small hallway to the on-suite bathroom. As you were grabbing the suit for reasons unknown to you, you heard some rustling. You grabbed the suit and made your way back Nick. He was now standing beside the bed. “Nicky, you should really be laying down…”

“I’m fine, now sit.” You handed him the flight suit and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Now close your eyes, I don’t need you seeing my bare ass in the hospital gown.”

You couldn’t help but giggle and roll your eyes but the expression on his face was a serious one, or at least as serious as he could muster. “Okay, okay.” You placed your hands over your eyes as your head rustles come from your boyfriend.

“Now Mav said I was crazy… Don’t open your eyes yet.” He said as if reading your mind once more. “But I know when a thing is right.”

“Nicky what are you talking about.” There was a moment of silence, and you couldn’t help but open your eyes. You were greeted by the sight of Nick in his hospital gown on one knee with a small black box in his hands.

“Nicky…”

Before you could form a coherent thought, “look I knew the last 9 weeks, have been a whirlwind, the last several hours especially. But I know then a thing is right and Y/N this is right.” Nick opened the small black bock revealing a small diamond ring on a single band. “Y/N L/N… Will you make me the happiest man this side of the Mississippi?”

You stared at the ring and then back at the blonde holding it. “Nicholas Bradshaw, are you asking me to marry you?”

He looked at you then back to the ring as if to confirm the answer for himself, before looking back up at you. ”Well, this is not exactly how I had planned to do it. But yes, yes, I am. If you’ll have me.”

More tears began to prick your eyes before you began to franticly nod. “Yes, yes, one-thousand times yes!” With a smile wider the tarmac, Nick placed the ring onto your ring finger. You practically jumped into the aviator’s arms as he stood up. His hands quickly made perches on your hips before his lips met yours.

He smiled against your lips before pulling slightly away so he could look into your eyes. “I love you, Mrs. Bradshaw.” “I love you too. Mr. Bradshaw.”

Epilogue

Tags: @luckyladycreator2 @saturnsbabe69 @belleroguewolf @goosegirl98 @desert-fern @bellamy1998

While this series may be over, I am in the works on some Hangman fics!

As always, feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑? 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 💜

#top gun x reader #top gun 1986 #top gun fanfiction #top gun #goose #goose imagine #nick goose bradshaw x reader #goose x reader #nick goose bradshaw #pete mitchell #pete maverick mitchell #ron kerner #ron slider kerner #tom iceman kazansky #tom kazansky #no beta we die like men

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jadelynlace · 3 years

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Hvitserk’s First Tattoo / Ink Drinker Modern Vikings AU Request [Ivar x F!reader]

catch up on the porno, I mean series, here.

requested by: @quantumlocked310 ♡

author’s note: thanks to this post, you’ll all be subjected to the written requests. here is the visual reference for the tattoo Hvitserk gets (image isn’t mine and all credit goes to it’s original owner). mentions of brotherly bickering, Hvitserk being scared and Ivar tattooing.

synopsis: You finally talk Hvitserk into getting some ink.

✎

“Did I miss it?” You say, nearly falling in through the main door of the shop. “I almost took the ambulance over here just because it has lights and sirens,” Hvitserk offers you an estranged look, one mixed with him being mortified and slightly impressed with your timing after the over night shift.

“I’ve never seen you this excited,” Sigurd calls from his spot, pulling a record from the shelf as he goes about lining it up, pulling the needle over so the music can fill the room.

“She doesn’t even get this excited when she sees my dick,” Ivar teases from his spot and you offer him a less than kind finger gesture.

“Can you blame me?” You remark back and Ivar only returns your original hand motion. “Did you pick yet?” You the ask as Hvitserk studies Ivar’s portfolio, as if he will be quizzed on it at the end of the session.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” He groans, another turn of the laminated pages.

“All of our best talks happen when it’s in the ambulance cabin at four in the morning,” You laugh, patting his back as you round the small counter. Ivar’s hands are quick to seat you on his lap, wrapping around you almost instantly and you both breathe in relief.

“Long night?” Ivar asks softly in your ear.

“Routine bullshit,” You grumble back, his hands tracing up your back and you could almost fall asleep in the very spot. One hand leaves your spine, reaching along the counter to grasp the tall can of his energy drink, offering it to you but you only shake your head. “That crap tastes like cough syrup,” You add as Ivar downs another gulp.

“Hurry up Hvitserk, we’re here after hours for this,” Ivar calls before he pulls the can back to his mouth.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to pop your cherry,” You say and Ivar looses some of the energy drink through a spray from his lips.

“You can get her name on your ass,” Sigurd says, walking past Hvitserk and tapping his uniform clad back.

“Why? So Ivar and I can match?” Hvitserk grumbles back and you laugh against Ivar’s chest.

“How do they know about that?” Ivar asks you quietly, through a teasing voice and you raise slightly, giggling against his mouth as your catch his lips with yours.

“Oh, for fucks sake—Hvitserk here, do that one,” Sigurd says, tapping his fingers against the page. “Paramedic Ragnarsson gets an anatomical tattoo,”

“Nice choice,” Ivar hums, standing to his full height with you latched still around him and he sets you to sit along the counter.

“Is it nap time for the baby?” Sigurd says, voice taking on a toddler’s tone as he sits back at the front desk, and at the receiving end of the pen that flies from Ivar’s grasp. Leather combat boots stalk along the dark wooden floors, pulling the design from its laminated home before Ivar sends the image through the printer in the far corner. Your eyes catch sight of his back, the muscles in his biceps, the veins on his forearms as he programs the machine to spit out the stencil. Looming your eyes up the gray fabric of the old band tee, over the locks that he’s starting to comb into a bun, and then down the dark wash jeans and over how they end in the tops of his shoes. More thoughts swirl about how you couldn’t wait to undress him when you two would go to your apartment.

As Hvitserk makes himself comfortable in the black leather chair, he rolls up the uniform sleeve, a quick unbutton and folding of the blue material, already deciding on where he deemed the appropriate placement. The curl of his sleeve stops above his elbow and you could see the faint burn mark on his wrist from when he tried to eat a marshmallow that was still on fire. You watched Ivar position himself at his station, a meticulous arrangement of his tools, setting everything in a straight line to connect. There was a squirt of the ink into the containers, a pull of gloves onto his hands, wiggling his fingers into their spots and cracking his knuckles. You bit down on your own tongue to stop that moan that tried so hard to escape. Taking the razor to shave off the blond fuzz, he gingerly laid the stencil on his brother’s inner arm, pressing it gently before pulling it back.

“Double check in the mirror that you like the placement,” Ivar says, tossing his head towards the back wall with the mirror surrounded by an intense wooded frame Floki had built. Hvitserk stands, and you see the slight tremor in his hands, never a fan of any sort of pain—intentional or not. You’ve seen this man cry at the sensation of a paper cut, and all but sob when he jerked his shin against the metal grate on the ambulance’s bumper. But, he was also the man who would tell the patients that it was going to hurt—the realignment, or when he set up the hare for an isolated femur fracture—it was going to hurt and they had his full permission to break his hand if need be. You laugh every time there’s an active labor call, and Hvitserk reassures the mother that he has two hands, and if she needs to break one to push her child out, he’s willing to suffer. It calms the hysteria, even on the worst calls you two had walked into, Hvitserk always knew how to calm any of the demons that danced in the ambulance. Ivar turns to you as Hvitserk gazes, probably far longer than other client has to date, and slides himself over to where you’re perched. There’s a removal of one glove, an index finger and thumb on your chin as he kisses you once, twice, and third time.

“I already know what I want to eat for dinner,” He whispers against your ear, just loudly enough so you’re the only one to hear his words. “But make sure you leave the polo on, baby girl,” He adds, kissing your temple and nudging the badge that’s on your chest, as a slow blush roses over your cheeks while he turns back around. “Alright brother, ready?” He calls, tapping the seat of the chair and Hvitserk takes a final look before plopping both himself down and his arm against the cushion.

“Is it going to hurt?” Hvitserk asks, trying to bite the smile he’s showing while both Ivar and Sigurd are preparing to throw whatever they can reach. “I’m sorry I couldn’t resist,” Ivar offers him another lethal glare, nearly plucking the smile from his lips as he begins to spread a thin layer of the ointment across the purple ink. There’s a buzz from the needle gun and Hvitserk whimpers not unlike a puppy. Ivar’s glove-clad fingers stretch to pull the skin taunt, taking the gun down the first line and wiping it with a paper towel.

“Still alright, sir?” You say to Hvitserk as if he’s a patient in your ambulance and you’re watching an IV start.

“Can you hold my hand?” He whines in a faked voice of concern.

“No,” You say back and there’s a snicker from Sigurd on the far side of the shop. The room dulls to only the noise of the record, the vibration of the needle and you watch Ivar so effortlessly in his element. Eyes watching, concentrating on what he’s doing yet singing lowly to the lyrics of the song that floods your ears alike. He rolls his chair slightly, maneuvering Hvitserk’s arm to his liking as he holds it down with his own. Strength unmatched because his least favorite thing is when the client fidgets, since it sends his work to become sloppy, and he’s grown accustomed to a way to hold the body part down to his liking. And that sight makes you think about him over you, body weight pressing against you like a weighted blanket, one with a smart mouth and curved lip who melts at the sheer stroke of your nails on his skin. Your thoughts rolls from the shift you worked prior, reanalyzing what you had done, gone through, pulling it to part like thread. They roll like waves but crash with thoughts of Ivar, his small comment earlier and then they shift. From work to pleasure and you’re squeezing your thighs before you realize it. Ivar’s voice comes through your ears to halt the dissection, and you move your head to see Hvitserk admiring the piece now forever on his skin and you smile back. Another layer of ointment and then it’s wrapped tightly with Ivar’s instructions to leave it on for an hour.

“See? No need to be a little baby about it,” You tease him and he laughs.

“That’s his default setting,” Sigurd’s voice calls as he stands up. “Ivar you’re closing up tonight, right?” And Ivar just nods. “I will see your smiling face tomorrow morning then,” He adds sarcastically, and with a wave and check of his pockets he’s out the shops front door.

“Wasn’t as terrible as I thought,” Hvitserk jokes. “Maybe I will get your name on my ass after all,” You offer him a faked smile and forged laugh. “I’m going to head out too, I got the over time for tomorrow,” And he’s gone with a salute through his hand and the hundred dollar bill on the desk, leaving you and Ivar alone in the shop.

“I like seeing you in here,” You say softly as you watch him clear his materials, place everything in their homes and he smiles while he works. “You’re so relaxed,”

“I can say the same thing when I see you in that ambulance, baby,” He replies as he casts a look back to you and then he’s standing, arm grabbing you to come into his side. “Now let’s get going, I’m really looking forward to my dinner…”

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sasa-gay-yo · 4 years

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Just Us (Chapter Fifteen: Dedicate Your Heart)

← Chapter Fourteen

I thought I was going to die. Sitting there hearing his pompous ass ramble on about how better his life than ours in the Capital was going to make me go crazy if he didn’t stop. He seemed to enjoy it too. The way his lips curled into a smirk when he heard Jonas groan next to me as he went on and on about the luxuries of the capital and what the Military Police get for their monthly bonus. I was just trying to keep my best behavior up because Ben had threatened Jonas and me before this meet-up. It was even worse than I thought it was going to be too because Catrin wasn’t there to talk over him. I’d rather hear her babble on about her baby and hair salon than whatever shit is coming out of his mouth now. Duran was point-blank lying about all of this and you knew it. MPs just sit around and do nothing in the capital, and now he was accepted to join a special team that was so top secret, he could only tell us every detail? I didn’t buy it. Also, how was he considered an elite soldier? These were all the thoughts running through your mind while he talked.

“That sounds like an amazing opportunity for you Duran. Maybe we can visit you as a family in the capital after your training.” I also laughed at Ben’s proposal, knowing good and well I was never going to willingly venture onto Duran’s turf where he can bullshit to us even more. If anything, we should show up at a random time so he’s taken by surprise and can’t cover up his lies with a few changes of cash.

“But enough about me,” he feigned, “What’s been going on with you all here back home?” Ben looked at Jonas and me, then to his wife, and realized that he was the only one willing to talk, so he started off about his job and the cafe. I knew I’d be next, so I was trying to build some narrative in my head that Duran couldn’t pick apart. In the middle of the part where I’m trying to figure out how to not tell him about closing the shop for a period of time, Jonas kicked me under the table. As annoyed as I was, when I saw him move his head towards the back door I was the first one out of my chair.

“Fresh air,” I mumbled, before walking out, not hearing Duran’s comment when Jonas got up to join me.

“Those two finally together?” I slammed the door, forgetting that Jonas was right behind, and he walked out holding his head. I mumbled sorry before starting up the ladder to the roof. The spot that Jonas and I always went to do nothing. Once on the roof, it gave a nice view across Trost and I could see the top of the walls where the guns and Garrison sat in wait. A few days ago, the whole of Trost was awoken by cannon fire, and it took all but two hours for the café to be bustling with the rumors that the first titan had reached the outside of Trost. To say it was scary was an understatement, but it was overly annoying that now the people were rejoicing how close the Scouts were to save Trost if anything happened. I don't remember those praises when the mission to reclaim the wall had happened. How easily they could switch up because they needed personal protection astounded me. After that incident, the Scouts had allocated a few people to stand watch every day at the wall to kill any abnormal or call for help if the titans that destroyed Shiganshia were back again. It was morbid, but I was waiting for the day that the Colossal Titan, as people were calling it, reached a hand over Trost’s walls. Staring at them now, I could just picture it.

“Penny for your thought, Ev?” Jonas took out a pack of cigarettes, a habit he acquired in the past few months, and got something out of his pocket to light it. The roof and outside of my apartment was the only place he could do it without getting yelled at by Ben or his roommates. I had done my best to warm him the first few weeks, but he seemed not to care. Still, I had no idea why he started now when he had years previous to do it.

“Thinking about when the Colossal Titan reaches Trost.” He took a drag and just nodded, counting on comments of morbidity to come from my mouth. It was a common theme now.

“Anything else less… intense? I’m trying to have a relaxing time up here before I have to go down and listen to Duran’s mouth.” I smiled lightly, dangling my legs off the edge of the building. I had to think of something else to say because that’s truly all I was thinking about. These days, I don’t try and let my mind run.

“I was thinking about paying a few petty gang members to jump Duran on his way back to Mitras. You want to donate a few notes?” He sighed, this time shaking his head, but I could see the smile on his face. It was a tempting offer for the day we’ve had to endure.

“Unfortunately, my crime funds have run low. If Catrin was here, she’d donate though.”

“She would.” The wind whipped through once, and I put my arms around myself, regretting not storming out with at least a jacket. It was almost winter. One month till the end of the year. Six months.

“How long did Ben say Duran was staying? Am I going to have to entertain him tomorrow in the café?” Jonas snuffed out his cigarette on the brick before leaning back a bit to feel the wind enter his ashed lungs.

“The week I think. At least he’s not staying in your old bedroom. Now I can’t stay at home when I want to for the next week. I have a double shift in two days and it was so much easier to come back here and sleep.” I groaned. God, I was going to have to entertain him and his new happy-go-lucky attitude. That was the worst part. While he was still annoying, braggy, and covertly malicious, the only thing that changed is that he seemed less interested in fighting outright. Actually, it was even more annoying because there wasn’t anything to call him out for upfront. He hid his ass well and Ben seemed to be eating up this fake persona.

“At least Ben isn’t forcing you to make food for this fucking family picnic inside the walls. It’s your fault for telling him about the meadow. I have no idea why now Ben feels like we need to be a family again, I’m almost thirty.” Jonas huffed one in laughter.

“I could think of a few reasons why, but I’d like to keep the peace we’ve made tonight.” I nodded, knowing what some of those reasons were.

“I’m glad you’ve made that decision.” He threw the cigarette off the building and I watched it fall and hit the ground. The last spark flew out of it when it hit the mud, and quickly burnt out. I just stared at it for what seemed like forever.

“If you went back to your old self, you know, became happy again, I’m sure Dad wouldn’t force you on family picnics.” Ah, there it was. The daily comment about my state of emotion. It was different than last time. I wasn’t crying anymore and I didn’t show up to the café with bloodshot eyes from no sleep. No, I was calm. I was living on spite. There would be no tears for someone who would never drop them for me. There was anger. Definitely anger. Sometimes it came out too. The latest victim was Elias who had spilled over a whole pail of water and I yelled at him loud enough for Jonas, who was outside throwing away garbage, to hear. I bought him any sweet he wanted from the corner shop to apologize. He wasn’t the only one I’d let my anger out on.

Hange visits me now. I don’t know why she does it, and every time she sits in his seat. At first, it was annoying to be reminded of him, but I grew to like her conversation. Once, however, she talked about him, and I yelled at her to stop. She seemed used to it for some reason, not even flinching with my harsh words. Even after, she continued as nothing happened and let me feel guilty. The last time she came, about the same time the first titan reached Trost, I treated her to an extra tart because of it.

“This is me now, Jonas. Pretty much.” I pushed back the skin on my nails knowing he would protest that.

“No, it’s not. I’ve never seen you act like this. This isn’t you.” I just hummed, agreeing so he would stop pressing it. I’d try my hardest every day to not think about it. One-track mind.

“You two! Come back down! It’s time for dessert!” The door slammed behind Ben, signaling he’d gone back inside after yelling at us. Jonas stood up before I could say something back, motioning that the conversation was done. This is how it usually went. He was too overwhelmed with the fact that I had no emotion anymore and then just left the conversation.

“Well come on then.”

For the rest of the week, my detest towards Duran was building. He came every day to the café, dressed up in his MP uniform, and talked to everyone like he owned the place. Some of the older women also flaunted over him, remembering the days he was here and making some form of fake past where he actually stayed in the café. I couldn’t even remember a clear time when he was in the café while I was working, and I worked there every day. They must have remembered something very, very different than I did. I just stood there and watched with distaste and told all my grievances to Jonas. On the day of the picnic, I was about to completely snap.

The family picnic had included Elias and June and Jonas’s sister. Elias and June had come to the café that morning, asking if they could stay with me since their family was starting another cult meeting and I agreed, knowing it would be a welcoming distraction to Duran. We were now waiting outside Jonas’s house. Waiting for Duran to put his stupid MP gear on. He thought the citizens of Trost would marvel at his status, not having any MPs here, but I told him that they’d rather spit on him. That set him off once, but he easily controlled it. I guess this new squad needed him to control that nasty ass personality to be in it. Good.

“And the person who bought the book said that it was like brand new! Mr. Philpa even commended me on my work! I really think I’m starting to get the hang of it.” I mustered to give June a smile, trying to keep her happy atmosphere up. I would need it today if I was going to be forced to listen to Duran for hours now. Since I insulted him this morning, I was going to have a target on my back the rest of the day. That was very clear when he complimented how well my makeup covered up the huge black circles on my face. Passive aggressive ass.

“Alright, everyone! Time to head out!” Ben was over the moon that his family had gathered to do something. He was the family man, always. It was probably instilled in him by Mrs. Flynn, at least that’s what Catrin had said, and it was getting to be annoying. I could come to their house to eat, but to forcibly make me make food for Duran who was just going to complain about the flavor? I couldn’t handle that. I swore up and down the kitchen when I was making this last night. As we walked to the Trost entrance, Duran just kept talking, and even at the front of the pack with Jonas and Elias, I could still hear him rambling. It was giving me a headache, which was a telltale sign I was going to burst any minute. This is always what happens when I yell at someone. The anger builds up into physical pain, and I can’t get rid of it any other way. In the dead of the night, I’ll wake up from a dream and find no better remedy than yelling Fuck really loud. It’s embarrassing when I forget Jonas is usually on my couch.

“You good?” Jonas leaned in to whisper in my ear and I just looked at him out of the side of my eyes. He got the memo and continued talking to Elias about his school work. It was too loud in this part of Trost, and Duran’s stupid voice was even louder. This coupled with the fact that people would stop to talk to Ben or even me was getting to be way too much. This is why I stayed in the café most of the time.

“Eva, haven’t seen you come this way for a while,” the Garrison captain called out from where he and the morning watch were playing cards on a barrel. At that moment, I vividly remembered punching him in the face, and I was tempted to do it again as he stopped the whole party to talk to me. The way he said it was definitely hinting at the fact that I was no longer in his secretly assessed relationship.

“I’ve just come when you’re not around, Captain. Probably drunk in a pub somewhere.” Duran was the first to hop into the conversation, ready to begin a military circle jerk.

“Evylnn, that’s not how you talk to a military member! Good morning, Captain.” Duran held his hand out to the Captain who gave one weary look at it and shook it. He remembered Duran correctly and he knew how much trouble he’d gotten into as a kid. He was also probably surprised that he had an MP uniform on when he would throw rocks at the Garrison.

“I don’t know what it’s like in Mitras, but that’s how we talk to them here in Trost, Duran. Then again, what would a military mouse like you know?” He turned and glared, making me reminisce about the real Duran. The signature glare was still there. You just had to wait for it.

“We’re just leaving, Captain. Sorry to bother you!” Ben grasped my shoulder, hard, making me pay for what I’d said to both the Captain and Duran. He pulled me too, right to the front where Jonas and the kids were standing. While he pushed me, he whispered a threat in my ear.

“If this picnic is ruined by you, you’re paying.” I didn’t react, even though I wanted to roll my eyes at him. It wouldn’t be my fault if I said something to make everyone uncomfortable. It would be Duran’s fault because he provoked me. I just tsk-ed as he let me go and started walking back to join Analee.

“You don’t know how bad I want to ruin this picnic now, Jonas.” He sighed, but I could definitely tell it was to hide a laugh in front of Elias and June. When we got to the open gate, the Garrison soldiers saw my glare and just let us through without any protest. Usually, this large of a group would be questioned thoroughly, but since I was in it, they knew not to ask me anything. Duran seemed surprised by this and stopped to yell at them for not doing their job, holding us up again. I just stood there, halfway through the tunnel as he blabbed on and on able the Garrison's responsibility like he was their boss. An MP wasn't going to boss Garrison members around, but here he was in his arrogance, trying to do that.

“You don’t know how to do your jobs! If there’s a group this large the-”

“Scouts are coming!” Someone yelled from above the wall, and when I looked out the entrance, I could see the horses nearing the walls. They were leaving late today, but how could I forget it was the first of the month.

“Please, Miss. Flynn, we're going to ask you to move and stay here till the Scouts progress through. It won’t be that long there isn’t a lot of them.” I was touched by one of the Garrison soldiers, and I quickly shrugged their hand off of me, not wanting to move. I could see Erwin now in front of everyone, and subconsciously I was looking for the black hair. Jonas was the one to come over and drag me to the side of the tunnel so I wouldn’t get trampled on impact.

“How could I forget?” I whispered, and I knew he had heard it. Technically, there were supposed to leave by the time I woke up today, making sure I never was tempted to look out my window when they left. Whenever they came back, I would sit in the back room too. I was making such an effort to never see him, but now I was forced to stand here as the Garrison blocked the two sides of the tunnel. Duran and the rest were held back and only Jonas, Elias, June, and I stood in the tunnel. I couldn't even hide. I was there in plain sight and I knew I would be face to face with him. I hardened my face quickly as they approached. He wasn’t going to get to see any emotion from me. Just like he did to me. He stood on his horse right next to Erwin and right in front of me. I didn’t even look at him like I said I was going to do. I stared right at Erwin who was stopped by the Garrison squad leader to do a head and supply count.

“Commander Erwin!” Elias called out, making everyone who didn’t care about our presence now look right at us. I felt the eyes. I heard some of the whispers. Some of them didn’t die between then and now, and they remembered my face. It was telling too that I couldn’t stare at Levi, but I didn’t feel his eyes on me. He didn’t care about me. I had to remind myself about that. He didn’t care. That’s why he left me. He used me. I just had to tell myself this over and over again to try and forget. I was doing so good recently too. I’d only think about him once a day now, but this instance was going to ruin it. If I even glanced and met his eye, it would all be gone.

“Hello, Elias. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. You’ve grown,” he looked over to me, noticing that the two of us were just glaring at him instead of looking at each other, “Eva. It has been too long.” I fought back the urge to scoff, but I knew I had to respond. I had to let him know I wasn’t hurt.

“It has, hasn’t it Commander. If you come to the café with Squad Leader Hange, I’ll treat you.” I smiled. The best smile I had mustered in months. He needed to know I was done. I was past him. I didn’t need him. I didn’t think of him every night. I didn’t regret not sleeping in my bed once with him. He needed to know that I didn’t.

“Of course I’ll take you up on that offer, Eva. Well, we’ll be off.” He nodded down to the Garrison soldier and they moved the blocks out of the way so the horses and carts could continue. When his horse started walking, I thought it safe to look at him. His eyes were filled with that one emotion. The one that was there when he had nightmares. When he confessed his feelings to me. When he told me about his life in the Underground. The emotion, still unnamed to him, I had labeled pain. He was in pain. I hoped my eyes didn’t display the emotion that I was feeling either. With one look up, and one sheer shot of pain through my heart, I looked back down on the ground. He knew. He knew exactly what I’d been through. What I was thinking. And it was sadistic of me to think that for one second that that look of pain was because he missed me. No, it must have pained him to see how hopeless I was. It must have further proved that I couldn’t live without him. Pain. I was feeling pain. I was feeling it this whole time. These whole six months.

“You may carry on, Mr. Flynn.”

“I didn’t know that you knew the Commander of the Scouts, Eva. Fitting.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. He was talking about Kristian. I handed the picnic basket of food to Jonas and took one look at Duran and smiled wickedly.

“I’m sorry you’re jealous that I’m closer to high ups than you’ll ever be, Duran. Maybe if you got on your knees for them like you probably did to get on this special squad of yours, then you’d be in my position. Sorry brother, but I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll be cleaning the café.” Ben didn’t stop me, but I knew he was mad. I’d ruined his figurative perfect family picnic and now he was going to have to deal with a pissed-off Duran and talk about me the whole time. I did feel a bit guilty, but I just couldn’t stand being there. Not now. I took the long way home, making sure not to cross the main road, and walked up to my apartment from the back. I shut all my windows too. Loud. Hoping that maybe if he was situated outside my window in formation, he would hear it.

I left those upstairs windows closed for what felt like forever. Jonas would always complain how stuffy it felt with no light besides oil lamps in the living room, but I always yelled at him if he went to touch them. I need to stop myself from being tempted. Every first of the month, I would hear it. I heard the horses and the carts match forward. I listened to Erwin’s speech each time. Every speech had a similar form and ended with the famous line shinzo wo sasageyo. There would be some lowered shouts and then they would all ride off to the other gate into the land of the titans. Give your hearts. How to give your heart when it’s in pieces? That’s what I thought every time and if the windows weren’t closed, I would have looked out to see Levi. Was he looking up at the windows like he used to? Giving me a firm nod before they left, only to do the same when I saw them come back. I wanted to know so bad, so that’s why I kept them shut. If I looked and he didn’t do it, it would ruin the illusion in my mind that somehow he still had feelings for me.

Eren, Armin, and Mikasa came back too. One last time before they were off to training camp. I was touched that they would remember my single act of kindness, and I treated them to their last sweet meal for three years.

“If we can write letters, Miss. Eva, I’ll write one to you.” Armin told me in confidence, and I nodded, telling him that I would like that. Even if I’d known them for so little, it was hard to see them off to training camp. They were cadets now and Eren was still going on about killing all the titans. I guess it was a bit refreshing to see such passion in his eyes, but it still scared me a little. I told him to calm himself down before they stepped off back to their last night in the Garrison storeroom. They waved, even Mikasa, and I made them take a little food-to-go. Once they were done with training, they would be stationed in Trost as cadets before going to be Scouts. They would visit me then, they promised. I would be able to see them all grown up. I also told them that I would probably be able to see them when they graduate regardless, but it gave something for the others to look after. Armin and Mikasa seemed much less enthusiastic to go out in the field and kill titans.

“Their names are Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. At least, Eren said he wanted to join the Scouts.” I passed the cup of coffee over to Hange who seemed to be scribbling furiously in her notebook. I had to even light a candle since she had stayed so late, stuck by some inspiration. After their last exhibition, she’d gotten to study a titan’s gut up close and she said she needed an extra dose of coffee to be able to draw everything.

“If they want to be in the Scouts that bad they will. Only the top 10 people get to be an MP and then the rest usually go to the Garrison. Scouts are a special breed. We usually only get twenty in good years.” I took a sip of my coffee, not caring about how long I’d stay up tonight. I’d probably be here talking to Hange either way. She seems to have made it her mission to not let me feel lonely. Every time she comes she has little tasks for me or something that she needs to consult people for. I never get sleep on the days that Hange comes, but I feel a bit warmer slipping into bed.

“I have a brother who went to the MPs, that means he was in the top ten of his class?” I gave her a look of disbelief. There was no way Duran was actually good at what he did. Top ten my ass. He would be bragging about it if he was.

“The only way they would allow that if most of the top 10 pick Scout or Garrison. The MPs need to hit a certain quota every year, so that could be why. What do you think of this? Is it proportional to the titan's body?” She showed me her notebook and pointed to something that looked like a small intestine. I shrugged.

“Hange, I don’t know what titans look like.” She sighed, nodding.

“You’re right, I forget that you aren’t a Scout. You know, you’re the only person who isn’t a Scout that I know.” I didn’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not.

“Don’t you have a family, Hange?” She pulled back the notebook and erased the part she pointed out at me, redrawing it.

“Well, yeah, but they don’t count. It’s just my parents and they don’t really care about titans either. I think they’re just fascinating.” I gave her a light smile before turning to look out the window at the setting sun. The snow was starting to melt now, but relatively early. I wondered what Eren and the others were doing. If it wasn’t dinner, then probably more training. Their first day was only a few days ago and Hange had told me again about the man who trains them. Hard as a rock and yells really loud. She didn’t have him personally, but he spent his last year in the Scouts when she had just joined.

“I wish I knew more about titans and the military. A lot of people I know are in the military, so it would make sense, you know?” She put her pencil down and crossed her hands.

“If you want to know more about titans I can tell you about all my experiments. If you want to know more about the military, you can ask me. I’ve been there a while.” She pushed her glasses up again and I turned to look at her. Hange really was an almanac in front of me.

“Do titans really look like they draw them in the newspaper? They look like big humans?” A finger went up as she started her lecture.

“Titans have faces like humans sometimes, and other times their features are often... oversaturated. We have no idea why this variation happens occurs. Some look like big versions of you and me, and others look like they have giant eyes, a small forehead, and huge lips. Like three feet long lips. They’re naked too, but without human genitalia. It’s just bare down there. Most of the time, they just look like pink humans. Then there are abnormals.”

“I’ve heard those words before,” I pointed out and she nodded quickly. I wasn’t going to tell her who I heard it from, but I’ve heard it.

“Abnormals are those who don’t act like regular titans. They might have more intelligence or partially weird bodily traits. Some can jump, others can crawl. You probably heard it when people talked about Shiganshina. The two titans that broke through the walls were abnormal. One was taller than the walls and the other was really muscular and had armored plates on its body. And it was yellowy-orange, which is not a titan color. But you want to know why those titans are even more abnormal than abnormals?” Her eyes lit up in the candlelight, and it was almost scary how she was getting when talking about this. I wondered how the Scouts got so lucky to find someone like Hange to discover these things for them.

“Why?”

“They disappeared. Poof!” She yelled using her hands, “Into thin air! No matter which titan they are, the body is always there to cut into. Once we got there, both the Colossal and the Armored Titan were gone in thin air. There was no way that would happen with any normal titan. I just want to know why! This is like one of the biggest titan secrets ever!” They disappeared into thin air?

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I know!” She seemed delighted with this information, “You can see why people left this out of the newspapers. The citizens would go crazy if they knew a titan that was like 80 meters tall just walked off!” She went off in her usual manic laughter after that, just overly joyed that a titan like this could have an ability like that and she was one of the only people who could figure out the mystery.

“Hange, are you supposed to tell me all of this?” She stopped laughing and blinked once or twice before breaking out into a smile again.

“No.” This made me laugh too. That was Hange’s ability. I don’t laugh unless it’s about her. Really laugh. She says jokes or acts in a way that lightens the mood in the empty café. I thank her for that regularly.

“Hange, it’s getting late, you should probably head out. You have an expedition tomorrow… Unless you want to stay here. I have space upstairs.” This was the first time Hange had come over when an expedition was the next day. She apparently snuck out to come here and it would probably be hard to sneak back in. I knew by the way her eyes lit up too that she was going to agree.

This is how I found that, besides the length of the pants, Hange and I were the same size. She sat on the couch, a blanket around her shoulders, staring down at the notebook with the same intensity as earlier. This would be the first time Hange had stayed over. Hange was also very comfortable with this idea. I offered her space in my bed and she took it right away. However, this began to be a mistake on my part because she couldn’t stop talking next to me.

“This bed is really comfortable, what is it made out of?”

“Feathers.”

“If you had to choose between eating a whole onion or eating a cockroach, what would you pick?”

“Can I choose neither, what kind of question is that?”

“Okay, eaten or stepped on by a titan.”

“... stepped on.”

“I agree!” At first, it was a welcomed distraction. When I was alone in my bed, these were the times I thought of him. Especially since I would wake up to the sounds of the horses at my front door. I wouldn’t cry anymore. It had been too long. Pretty soon, it would be over a year of loneliness and discontent. I hadn’t seen his face since the picnic disaster, and all I had of him were the letters. The letters that I now kept shoved under my mattress so that I could read them. Over and over. The letters that hid his lies. I fed into the lies too. When I read the letters, I didn’t feel alone. I would revert back to the times when I met him. The times when he wrote me these letters. When I was in love. Who am I kidding, I’m still in love. I never forgot. That’s why the letters are sitting under my mattress, right below my arm. It hurt. It always did. Loving someone who didn’t love you back. I never experienced it till now. This was how Jonas felt.

“Eva?” Hange asked, seeing that I was staring up at the ceiling, getting lost in my thoughts. I’d have to remember that she was there. I couldn’t wake up screaming into the night like I had before. She wouldn’t ignore it like Jonas did.

“Yes, Hange?” She shifted so that she was facing me.

“He still asks about you.” My heart clenched and I closed my eyes. No. Not now. It was fueling me. The thought all the way back in my mind. He was lying. He did love me.

“Does he?” It was hard to spit out and it sounded like a whisper when it didn’t mean to be.

“I’m not allowed to tell you everything, but he does. He misses you.”

“Why are you telling me this, Hange?” I could feel her smile next to me, and I turned my head to see it. It was a smile that was hiding secrets from me.

“Because I want to make you two happy again. You two aren’t happy like you were before.” I sighed, turning away from her as I felt tears well in my eyes. There goes my three-month-long record of no crying.

“He doesn’t love me, Hange. You of all people know that.” She tsk-ed, just like him.

“You’ll know soon. Both of you will. I know it.” I sniffled once, and she already had her hand on my back. Great. She heard me. Was she going to tell Levi about this?

“It’ll be okay, Eva. Trust me.”

The next morning, she woke me up. She was already dressed and hopping around the apartment and I just took my first few steps out. The front windows were open too, for the first time in months. The light was radiating down onto the kitchen counter and living room table she was currently sitting at, gathering her things.

“Good morning, sunshine! Isn’t it such a nice day to go see some titans?” I huffed once, rubbing my eyes to get them more awake. This was the earliest I’d been up at in a while. Only Hange would say something like that this early in the morning.

“Don’t you need your gear?” I walked to the kitchen, looking out at her in the living room.

“Moblit will bring it. He knows I’m here. He’s a member of my squad.” I nodded, turning on a kettle to make hot water for coffee. I’d offer it to her as retribution for comforting me last night. Maybe I’d ask her to not tell him what happened either. I didn’t want him to know I was still weak after all this time. She just looked down at her notebook, writing more and more things in it, a book to her left. I never knew how she could read so much.

“Coffee?” I offered to after I poured some, but she shook her head, saying it would make her even more jittery during the expedition. I could already see that when the time entered for the horses to be filling up in Trost’s main drag that she was shaking, not with fear, but excitement. What a weird girl, I thought, shaking my head at her. We talked a bit here and there about the expedition's plans, but at this point, we were both waiting for the Scouts to come and pick her up. I was planning too. Planning whether I would close up those windows as she exited.

When they finally came, she did something unexpected. She grabbed my wrist, letting me put on some proper shoes, and then pulled me down my front stairs to hundreds of eyes preparing for take-off. It was a bit embarrassing that I was just in a single nightgown in front of all of them, and Hange seemed to forget I was only wearing sandals as she pulled me.

“Moblit!” She yelled and pulled me into the middle of the Scouts. Now, I was feeling really watched. Those who survived had now seen my face for the third time. When Hange yelled, a long-faced blonde turned around, ODM gear in his hand. He looked shaken too like he was about to get yelled at.

“Moblit, this is my friend, Eva! I was having a sleepover at her house last night. My gear, thank you!” The blonde man, Moblit, dropped her gear and bowed to me. I bowed a little bit back, putting my hands on my arms. The morning was still not yet a summer one, so wearing nothing over my slip was making me start to freeze. Everyone here had on a coat and the signature green cape while I was bare.

“Hello, Moblit,” I managed out and he turned to Hange to talk about something. I just stood there, not knowing if I was able to just leave, or if Hange had wanted to talk more. With every passing moment, I was getting more and more anxious about seeing one face in the field. That’s why I was staring right at Hange, eyes not moving anywhere no matter how tempted I was.

“Oh my goodness!” Hange announced loudly, making others turn to look again, “You’re freezing! How could I drag you out here like this!?” She turned around to look through the bags on the cart behind her. She was probably looking for something to give me so I wasn’t freezing and shivering. This probably meant that she was going to make me stand and talk to her before Erwin dismissed the families. That’s what usually happened. Some wives, husbands, and families who relocated to Trost would come in the morning to say goodbye for, possibly, the last time, and Erwin would politely dismiss them before giving his big shinzo wo speech.

“Moblit, do we have any extra capes, I can’t find on-” The green dropped over my shoulders rather sloppily, but I could feel the warmth left behind by the previous wearer. I didn’t want to turn behind me to see who it was though. I knew who it was. So did Moblit. So did Hange. So did the others who were still looking at me. They knew who had given me the cape, and they were surprised at the generosity. I was scared. Scared of the generosity. What did it mean? How did it align with what Hange said last night?

Mint, lemon, and cedar.

“Please, don’t expose yourself in front of my cadets.” The horse trotted off to the front, but his foot lightly brushed my back. Just that one touch. That one single second. It sent a chill down my spine. It had been so long since I’d touched him. The last time was our last goodbye. Just like the families here in Trost. I’d held him on my doorstep, right before the expedition, not knowing that it would be our last goodbye.

Hange stood up, giving me the same smile she did last time. It said those two words. Trust me. What was Hange doing? Had she changed his demeanor? Why could I still feel that chill down my spine? Why was I holding his cape so close to me when I should’ve been throwing it on the ground?

I took the cape off my shoulders, taking one look at it before giving it back to Hange. I wouldn’t let him do this. I wouldn’t let him care about me. The chill, however, was unbearable after I handed it back. It wasn’t just the chill of the morning wind anymore. It was the chill of his eyes still on me as I handed it back to Hange.

“I-I need to get the… the café, yeah, I need to get it ready.” She nodded, the smile still on her face, and I turned around to go back up to my apartment.

“That’s cute! Haha, look at this, Moblit. Levi marks his cape with a little L so he knows it’s his!” I stopped walking. I was at the edge of the Scouts, all of them behind me, yet if I looked to my side I would get a view of him. He was always on the right of Erwin. So, that’s what I did. After Hange said that, I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and locked eyes. There it was again. Pain. His eyes were full of pain. Vivid pain that made me feel it too. My heart twisted inside, and I was so close to getting caught if I didn’t stalk up the stairs to my apartment and close the door. I crouched down, my back against the door, the tears coming again. Pain. That’s all I felt. Pain. Why had he done that? Why was I suffering this whole time? Why had he put an L on his cape? What was it supposed to show me? Why were we suffering? Why couldn’t he just tell me plainly? Why couldn’t I understand what he was doing? Why? Why? Why?

I cried through Erwin’s speech, his words a lot louder this time. They were echoing in my head. About sacrifice. About saving the world. Everything that would make an apprehensive cadet ready to go outside the walls and die. And then he ended it. That one phrase.

“Cadets! Scouts! The people of Trost! Shinzo wo sasageyo!” The cries lifted in the air. They made my head hurt. I wondered if Levi heard my cries from inside my apartment. I held my head in my hands.

“I can’t. I can’t dedicate my heart. Not again. Not again.”

Jonas found me like that when I didn’t show up for his morning delivery. The café remained closed that day. And the next. I closed the windows back up too. Jonas didn’t question what happened either. He just stacked up the delivery boxes in the stock room and then left, promising he’d come back later when he was off. When he came back, I was still in the same spot he put me on the couch. He echoed his words from the first time.

“What did he do?” and I just shook my head.

xx just a cute little double update for yall

Chapter Sixteen →

Chapter Masterlist

#levi attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi ackerman scenario #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x oc #attack on titan levi #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x oc #AoT #aot levi #aot x reader #snk levi #snk x reader #snk #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin levi #Captain Levi

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ilguna · 3 years

Text

Anteric - Chapter Six (f.o)

summary: secrets have more worth than you gave them credit for.

warnings; swearing. FIGHTING, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, GORE, BLOOD, INJURIES.

wc; 8.6k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

Finnick is still picking blue paint out of his hair this morning. Each time he goes to run a hand through it, he’ll get stuck halfway through, due to a clump of knotted blue hair. You try not to laugh, but every now and then a cough will slip out. At some point, he gives up and goes to take a shower in hopes to fix his problem.

Since you woke up fairly early again, you have enough time to get ready at a leisurely pace. Unfortunately, you're sure that the sun has already risen, so there wouldn’t be a point to go up the Pit to see. And you think that’s for the best, because it’s not safe up there anymore. Not now that Finnick knows where you’d go if you need a moment to breathe.

Well, that’s one of the places. Hopefully he won’t figure out the other.

You’ve realized that you probably need to speak to him sometime soon, considering the rift that’s continuing to grow. The only problem is that you’ve already apologized for your sudden distance. He just ignored it.

You think you’ve said this before, but Finnick will get extremely upset to the point where he’ll stop talking. He used to do that all the time to a couple of other people that you knew in Abnegation. You weren’t his only friend, just the best. There’s only been a few times where you’ve been on the receiving end of his cold behavior. And he’s always bounced back from it.

Half of the time it’s because you gave him space to think about what he wanted. He would just wander back on his own, heart in his hands to give to you. In those moments, it was always his fault. Which is why it was so easy for him to come talk to you again.

Other times, you’d persist after Finnick, trying to get him to budge and talk to you again. This is how you found out that it would be harder to talk to you again. Because you were constantly trying to get him to. It just built up annoyance more, and prolonged the silent treatment. This option is always the second choice, a last resort for dire situations.

Which is why you’re so caught right now.

Finnick could really need you to go after him, or he could really need you to stay away. And honestly, you don’t mind either of those plans, except the latter one has a problem hidden within it. Normally when you’d leave Finnick alone, it would be because he didn’t have anyone else to talk to.

If you go on and move onto Trink circle for the time being while you wait for him to come around, he won’t be alone. He won’t have time to think about why he’s angry by himself. He’ll have someone else to delay that entire process. You know Finnick like the palm of your hand, he can and will put talking to you off for as long as possible.

You thought that Thyme could be a nice addition to yours and Finnick’s friendship, but it seems like she’s going to be making things more complicated. And there’s a hot, sticky feeling in your chest that’s telling you it isn’t a coincidence. From the moment she’s gotten here, she’s been weird.

A hand slaps your foot, making the laces slip from your fingers, your foot falling to the floor. Thyme passes in front of you, and sits down on her bed. It’s only when she starts to lace her first shoe, does she look at you, “Keep your dirty shoes off my bed.”

You stare at her for a moment, and the only thought that comes to your mind is the fact that you’re too tired for her bullshit. You fix your laces before standing up, leaving her alone. You stretch your arms and legs, moving toward the middle of the room. Caspian said that training wouldn’t resume until tomorrow, but that just means you’ll be stuck shooting guns for ten hours.

Finnick comes out of the bathroom, briefly catching your eye. He’s fully dressed, a black towel hangs around the back of his neck to catch the water from his hair. You move out of his way, not thinking too much into the movement. All you know is that you don’t want to be caught in the storm that might be brewing at the moment.

Which ultimately means you just unintentionally made the decision you’ve been worrying over for the past couple of minutes. You guess that your first instinct has never been to pry. And you also guess that this is a result of the Abnegation conditioning. You’re not supposed to ask questions, especially if it might hurt the other person.

But you aren’t in Abnegation anymore, are you?

You spare a glance in Finnick’s direction, wondering if it’s too late to go back and change your mind. His back is already turned toward you, and he’s talking to Thyme. He turns his body slightly, going to sit down on his bed. The smile on his face is almost unforgivable, a light feeling arising in your stomach.

There’s a split second where you recognize that he’s going to look toward you, his head is already turning, his eyes still on Thyme. You think that you’ll be able to muster up enough courage to talk to him. But it all disappears the moment his eyes land on you. And you find yourself turning before you say to.

Trink is stretching her arms above her head, her tank top rides up slightly to reveal her belly. She lets out a slight yawn, and then she pulls her top back down and looks between you, Eytelle and Allio.

“Breakfast?” she proposes.

You wonder how far is too far with Finnick.

“Yeah.” Eytelle agrees, Allio raises to his feet.

Trink’s eyes land on you, waiting to see what you have to say.

You roll your shoulders and give her a bright smile, “Well, obviously.”

Trink leads the way out of the dormitory, with Eytelle and Allio in the middle, and you taking up the back. Up until the door slides shut smoothly behind you, your hands are balled into fists and you can’t relax your shoulders no matter how hard you try. You just feel safer now that you’re out of sight, at least their eyes won’t be on you.

For a while, you focus on Allio and Eytelle’s voice echoing off the walls, as they talk about what they think their rank might be. It’s an easy enough conversation for you to escape to. Since the answer should be pretty difficult to find, because of technicalities and all. But the mystery is solved two minutes later, and the distraction is no longer here.

You’re lucky that the walk to the dining hall is short.

“You two head inside, we’ll follow in a minute.” Trink says, giving them a polite smile.

“Do you want to sit with the Dauntless-borns?” Eytelle is walking backwards.

Trink makes a face like she’s telling them ‘obviously’, but speaks anyway, “Make sure it’s with Lennox.”

Eytelle nods, and the two of them disappear inside. Trink turns to you next, her smile fading from her face, “Why didn’t you say anything to her?”

You press your lips together for a moment, and then you speak, “I know what I’m doing with Finnick.”

“Really?” she rolls her eyes, “Come on, (Y/n).”

“I’ve been dealing with him for my entire life.” you tell her, drifting towards the doorway. You two might be friends now, but you don’t have to reveal all your secrets to her just yet. It’s been less than a day, “Thyme won’t last, trust me.”

She raises her eyebrows, “You should still talk to him.”

“I will.” you say, she’s starting to follow you now, “I’ll do it tomorrow before the final fight.”

Trink shrugs.

The two of you stand together for a while, before she’s the first to spot your group from last night. At the table, she greets Lennox and slides right in next to him. She serves herself a small portion of toast and blueberry pancakes, as always, and starts talking as if they’ve been friends for a long time.

Ameer and Mirza are sitting across from each other, a path is cleared between them to allow the arm wrestling match. It seems like they’re both struggling, since Mirza will stay on top for a while, straining. Then Ameer will get a burst of strength and push his brother’s arm down toward the table. Neither of them have won yet.

Sydney is twirling a strand of her hair around her finger, talking to Nestor and occasionally Ameer. It’s always through gritted teeth and gasps if he does respond. She doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, no one looks bothered over the twins’ shenanigans.

Claris isn’t gathered with you guys, she’s actually sitting on the far end of the table off to the left. Hallie sits beside her, the two of them talk every now and then between long stretches of silence. However, the person that is sitting here with you guys, is Blaire.

He’s got one of his black curls pulled out, talking to Lennox and Trink. When he lets go, the curl bounces back into place as if it wasn’t out in the open just seconds before.

“Four people are going to be cut after this last fight, right?” Trink says, she’s squishing a blueberry between her fork and her plate.

“Yeah,” Lennox says, “The two lowest ranking initiates from both groups.”

Trink hums, “Who’s your two?”

Blaire gives her a look, and then you, “You first.”

“Amos and Ossie.” you say, carving your fingernail into the wooden table, “No question about it.”

Trink’s face twists for a moment, eyebrows raising, and then dropping. Like she’s trying to tell you that it isn’t set in stone. Like she’s trying to tell you that you’ve lost your last two fights, technically Ossie is ranked above you at the moment, and so is Trink.

That won’t last long. You’ll be winning tomorrow’s fight, no matter who it’s against.

“That was easy.” Lennox breathes out a laugh, and then he jabs his thumb to Claris and Hallie, “They’re out. Neither of them have won. They talk shit but the rest of us are taller and stronger than they are.”

Sydney pauses what she’s saying to Nestor to lean in, “The two of them talk like they own the world. Should’ve seen their faces when they got their asses kicked on the first day. Or when they couldn’t even move the punching bag.” Nestor nods in agreement.

“Huh,” you let out.

Blaire shrugs, “Just how it is.”

Trink leans her head against her hand, pushing her plate away now, “How was it working with Finnick and Thyme?”

The question makes Mirza lose at the arm wrestling match. Blaire stares at Trink for a long moment, his eyebrows drawing in, “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. I guess I should’ve asked if he mentioned anything about (Y/n). And what exactly did he say?”

You want to stomp on Trink’s foot beneath the table, but she’s not across from you. You wish that she wouldn’t go around asking questions like this. You don’t care what he said about you during the paintball match. In fact, you could guarantee that it’s not anything bad, because Finnick doesn’t bad-mouth until he’s absolutely certain that the other person is his enemy.

You press your lips together and scowl.

“Well,” Blaire looks uncomfortable, as he probably should be, “It’s complicated… I guess.”

“Oh, come on.” Trink waves her hand, “You can’t hurt her feelings, she’s a brick wall.”

You’re suddenly glad that she hasn’t seen you vulnerable just yet. And that you held yourself together after the incident in the Pit, hanging over the river. Otherwise she might be saying something else right now.

Blaire looks to Mirza for reassurance, but the twins are gone. The two of them have vanished without a single word. Blaire sighs, “Finnick said that the two of you had grown up together.” his eyes are on you, “And that you know everything about him, including his weaknesses. He also said that your actions are predictable which is why you aren’t threatening.”

Silence sweeps the table. You let the hotness take over your face first. Anger so rich and raw that you might as well be a reincarnated god. But there’s something bubbling in your chest, light and friendly. The exact opposite of war and bloodshed.

You try to stay straight-faced, but there’s a crack at the corner of your lips. Until you burst, tears forming in your eyes. The laugh is loud, but draws no attention from the other Dauntless around you. With the exception of the group you’re sitting with, of course. You end up covering your mouth, trying to be a bit more modest.

“Not threatening, huh?” You smile, running your finger over the divot you’ve carved into the table. Then, you look up to Blaire, “If I were you, I’d be skeptical.”

Blaire doesn’t respond right away, “What does that mean?”

“Well, for starters.” You place your palms on the table, getting ready to leave, “He doesn’t know me as well as he thinks.”

You stand up from the bench. The clock on the wall says that it’s ten minutes to eight, which means you’ll be arriving in the training room early if you leave now. It’ll give you a moment to think and reassess your next move.

You take a step forward, but then stop, “Finnick isn’t as put-together as he likes to show. It’s all a façade. I’ll be in the training room.”

You take your time leaving the dining hall, not seeing a reason to rush. You have more than enough time to get there, and you need to spend it all.

On the way out, you pass Finnick and Thyme.

You were wrong. You thought that Finnick would keep his opinions of you to himself. The two of you don’t know these people, and they weren’t in your business to begin with. So what is he doing, basically telling people that you’re weak?

A hand hooks around the inside of your elbow, keeping you from talking further.

You yank your arm out, turning to face Finnick, while putting distance between the two of you. The mere look on his face is enough for you to set your jaw, clenching your teeth together. A deer in headlights, a child acting like it doesn’t know what it did wrong, an act.

“Hey,” he says, even his voice is soft, like he’s trying to coax you, “Are you okay?”

Your first instinct is to snap and then run. Leave him blinded and shocked just like you were a couple of moments ago. But the longer you stare at him, the more you begin to realize that he’s not acting. He’s being genuine.

“I’m fine.” you force yourself to calm down, standing up so that you aren’t hunched over, “Thanks for asking, though.”

“Are you sure?” Finnick straightens out too, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You can see Thyme stalking over his shoulder, eyes boring right into yours. Watching, waiting. Probably wanting material to spread around to the others. Look at (Y/n), upset over this and not nearly as scary as she can seem at times. She’s probably the one that managed to convince Finnick that you aren’t threatening.

“Not with her around.” you snarl, looking past him, “You’re a goddamn coward, you know that? And it’s no surprise, you come from Amity.”

She backs up, face twisting when Finnick looks over his shoulder.

“Really?” you ask, moving forward. Finnick presses a hand to your chest, keeping you from going any further. You look at him dead in the eyes, “You’re stopping me? Why? She can take care of herself. If she’s going to cause problems, then she’s going to deal with the consequences.”

“You’re not thinking straight.” Finnick says, not affected by how angry you are.

You slap his hand off and shove him back in one move, “So? Does that scare you, Finnick? What happened to me not being threatening?”

Finnick’s confused for a second, but then his face smoothes over, and he’s shaking his head, “That’s what this is about?”

You grit your teeth, “Yes, Finnick, that’s why I’m upset.”

“You don’t know the context--”

“No!” your voice is loud, “Blaire told me the context. You said I wasn’t threatening because I’m so fucking predictable.” you shove him again, “If I’m so predictable to you, then why do you bother to stick around?”

Finnick doesn’t say anything, there’s an overwhelming silence that sits between you two. Thyme doesn’t even move from where she is, her hand is pressed against the wall as if she’ll fall over. What a drama queen.

It seems like you have attracted attention, though. Out of the corner of your eye, you’re able to see Damon coming your way. Why he’s still inside of the dining room when he eats earlier than everyone else, you don’t know. What you do know is that you’re about to get in trouble.

“Back up.” Damon says, motioning, “Now.”

You do, hands balling into fists. You should’ve hit him when you had the fucking chance to. Or lunged straight towards Thyme, who’s playing up the innocent act again.

“Where are you going?” he looks at you first.

“The training room.”

Then his eyes land on Finnick and Thyme. Finnick’s the one to speak, “For breakfast.”

“Go.” he tells them, not leaving from where he stands. He waits until Finnick and Thyme are clearly inside before turning to you, “I remember being told that Laurel issued a warning about fighting.”

“Yeah, I was there for it,” you say, “But I didn’t hit him, so it doesn’t count.”

“Shoving counts.” Damon says, “Don’t do it again.”

“Sure.” you say, “Sorry.”

You turn and leave before he tries to talk to you anymore. You’re already testing his patience by being short with him. You head straight into the darkness, nails digging into your palms. The walk to the training room isn’t as serene as you originally wanted it to be. With every step you take, you can only find more reason to be angry.

There’s so many things you should’ve said to him.

By the time you get to the actual room, you’re only slightly calmed down. There’s no doubt that you just made things worse between you and Finnick. But to be fair, it’s no thanks to Trink. You don’t know whether or not to be angry at her. If she hadn’t asked the questions in the first place, then you’d still be on the road to recovery with Finnick.

It all conflicts with the fact that you wouldn’t have known what Finnick said if she hadn’t asked. You didn’t know he was talking about you like that. And sometimes it’s good to be underestimated, but here it’s not. It’s the simplest way for you to end up factionless.

Laurel and Caspian are already inside when you get there. They barely look up at first, too focused on what they’re hovering over. Laurel then suddenly raises her head, a murmur sounding from her. Caspian has to turn his body to see.

You give them a gentle wave.

“Don’t touch anything just yet.” he says, motioning you to stand somewhere.

Along the wall of the entrance sits tables with knives on them. All of them black, with identical blades and sizes. On the other side of the room are targets, much like the ones you’ve used to shoot guns. It looks like you get to try your hand at something new today.

It’s hard to be excited when there’s a hateful feeling in your stomach, telling you that Finnick will have no trouble keeping his streak. He’ll nail the middle of the target and then immediately turn to Thyme to gloat. You can’t help but to wonder if he genuinely thinks he’s winning in Dauntless right now, because you wouldn’t think so. Not when your best friend is halfway out of the door.

You pick a spot on the far side, shoving your hands into your pockets while you stare at the wood. If you strain hard enough to hear, you can listen in on what Laurel and Caspian are talking about. And it honestly sounds like they’re discussing the pairs for tomorrow’s fights. You thought they would have worked this all out this morning, but you guess you were wrong.

You have to win, no matter what. Or you will end up in last place. And instead of Ossie being cut, it will be you. You and Amos.

It’s funny, really. For a second, you really thought that you were on top of the world. You didn’t know just how quickly it would all fall back down. How you wouldn’t be able to catch everything--anything. It took a week to break all that you’ve worked towards your entire life.

You still have enough time to turn it around and end up on top. All you have to do is pass this first stage, and then you could blow everyone out of the water. You have the power to. You just have to apply yourself more.

A couple of minutes later, the others begin to arrive in their own groups. The first is Ossie and Amos, the next is your three new friends, and the last is Finnick and Thyme. This time, they’re the ones keeping their distance, placing themselves firmly on the other side of the room.

If Caspian has any questions rising, he doesn’t ask them. You do catch the quick look between you and Finnick, though. As if he’s trying to decipher it for himself. His eyes find yours again, and you give him a gentle head shake, letting him know that things are not what they are anymore. You wish it weren’t this complicated.

“Tomorrow is the final fight, and it will also be the last day of stage one.” Caspian says, he stands near the chalkboard, shouting across the room. His voice carries well, you don’t have to turn your head to hear him better.

“Today, you’ll be learning how to aim.” Laurel continues for him, “Pick up three knives, and pay attention. No one will be excused from tomorrow’s fighting, so try not to hurt yourselves.”

You all begin to wander over to the knives. You pick up the first one in your hands, and you can’t help but to notice just how light it is. It’s not as heavy as the one in your aptitude test, or the one back home in Abnegation. This is as light as a feather, easily movable. It reminds you of the knife you used to cut your hand during the Choosing Ceremony.

You pick up the other two, being careful not to cut your hands.

“I’ll demonstrate, so pay attention!” Laurel shouts.

Once you’re all back in your respective places, all eyes are on her. You have to move around a little to see better, and you can’t help but to curse yourself for choosing this end of the room. But then again, you didn’t want to invade on Caspian and Laurel’s privacy, clearly it was an important conversation.

Laurel is smooth and flawless with her throws. One after the other, each one hits the dead center of the target. Once all three knives are gone, she backs away from the target. You have to move again to see that she’s thrown her knives so that they make a triangle.

“Line up!” she yells, “And get to throwing! Caspian and I will observe.”

You remember the first time you shot the gun they gave you. It’s almost hard to believe that was only five days ago. At the rate things have been moving around you, it almost feels like a year.

Automatically, you find yourself readjusting your stance to mirror what Laurel had looked like. She had her dominant forward just a little more, body turned to the side to allow her dominant arm move free range. You extend and tense your arm a couple of times, getting a feel for the throw.

You have to remember to exhale when you let go.

And make sure not to think too much or you’ll hesitate.

You draw your arm back, knife handle in your hand. Your eyes land on the red circle in the middle of the wood. You hold your breath for a moment, pausing to readjust, and then you throw.

For a second, all you can hear is the sound of knives bouncing off the wall. No one has made it even close to their target. So why are you so sure that you’re going to be different?

Well, because you are.

The knife lodges in the red circle. It’s nowhere near perfect, since it’s off center and barely hanging on. But you are the first.

“Wow!” Trink lets out, “That’s luck!”

You prepare the second knife in your hand, drawing your arm back the same way, correcting for the middle. This time, when the knife hits the wooden board, you are much closer to the center. You’re too eager for the third knife, excitement bubbling up your throat and to your cheeks. An infectious smile fills your face when the third knife is in the center.

A hand slaps on your shoulder, “You’re a natural.” Caspian’s hand slips slightly as he moves around you to take a better look. He lets out a slight whistle.

Eytelle and Allio are nodding along, looking enthusiastic.

You can’t help yourself, though. You thank Caspian, but move to look at Finnick and Thyme, to watch them throw. You catch Finnick’s eyes for a brief second, clearly he was watching you. It’s your turn to take notes now.

You felt this exact same way when you first shot the handgun. To know that you were so close to the center circle, only for Finnick to best you. Finnick moves his hand, showing you that he still has all three knives in his hands. It’s an under-the-table move, not noticeable unless you’re paying close attention. Which means that Thyme completely misses it. The blades glint in the light.

He raises his arm, Thyme pauses what she’s doing to watch him. She’s already missed her first two knives. Finnick takes in a deep breath when he throws, and this is where he goes wrong. You’ll give him credit, because the knife hits the board. But it’s a corner, and clatters to the ground without sticking.

Finnick’s face twists, and when he turns to you--

You’ve already got both hands up, formed in an ‘X’.

Figuring that you’ve reached the point of no return yesterday, you went ahead and switched beds after dinner. Originally, you’d been sleeping over Finnick. Now you’re over Trink, since she’s the one that has an open bunk. You went to bed before you got a chance to see Finnick’s reaction, but you can tell by the way he’s acting this morning, that he’s upset.

He’s normally chatty in the morning, whether it had been with you, or Thyme. But no matter how many times Thyme tries to start a conversation with him, he only lets out one word answers. Which is a telltale sign that Finnick is not as okay as he’s been projecting. Another reason why Thyme doesn’t fit the space, she thinks about herself first and not the people around her.

Abnegation-raised children have been taught to focus on others before them. Like Candor, you begin to be able to pick out the little things from others reactions and body language. You might not be able to ask about it, but you’re supposed to notice it so that it’s easier to avoid the topic.

Thyme knows nothing about this, which means she doesn’t know when to leave things be instead of trying to fill the silence.

There’s a tight feeling of smugness in your chest. Finnick is going to be the one to apologize, not you. Not like you have a reason to, anyway. You already did and he ignored you, as if it hadn’t existed at all. You weren’t bluffing, it was a genuine apology.

You start out of the bathroom, fully dressed, shoes on, minty breath. All you have to do is wait for Trink to get ready, and then the four of you can head to the dining hall so you can watch and wait for them to eat. You already decided that you shouldn’t eat this morning. With the way everyone has been going at your stomach, it’s the only real choice you have. Unless you want to puke all over the floor, of course.

Trink’s in the middle of braiding her hair, talking to Eytelle. Allio is still in the bathroom, you saw him wander into the shower area just before he shut the curtain. He said that it should only take a couple of minutes. So, you suppose that you should correct yourself. You’re waiting on Allio, not Trink.

You start toward the girls, a question to start conversation already appearing on your tongue. But it all dies when someone appears in your path, tall and towering over you, like he always does. You press your lips together and look up at Finnick. And you can’t help but to think that this scene is all too familiar.

But the last time you checked, you moved out of the way.

“We should talk.” Finnick says, his voice is gentle, face smoothed over.

“Yeah?” you ask, eyebrows raising slightly.

You will not be the one apologizing this time.

He takes his time before speaking. Letting out a small breath, sucking in one between his teeth. He does this every single time, you know what to expect. He’ll start his sentence off with the apology, and then what he did wrong.

Finnick takes in a final breath, “I need you to hear me out.”

No.

No, this is wrong.

You stare at him, almost wanting to hold your breath.

This is the second time you’ve been wrong about Finnick would or wouldn’t do.

Finnick takes your silence as a good sign to keep talking, “When I said that to my team, I was still angry at you for blowing me off.”

Now you hold your breath, teeth settling in. He’s wrong, you didn’t blow him off. You apologized, you told him why you’ve been acting this way. It’s the other way around, he’s the one that confronted you and didn’t even listen. As if he didn’t care in the first place, and just wanted to find a way to get at you.

“I should have phrased what I said differently, though.” Finnick pauses for a moment, “Your turn.”

Your turn?

“That was not an apology,” are the first words to leave your mouth, eager, slick and pissed.

Finnick stares at you, like he’s thinking it over. It’s just five words, straight-forward all by itself. But then his lips press together, and his face begins to turn red, eyebrows turning downward. He’s acting like you’re in the wrong here. You’ve apologized, you’ve expressed your dislike for Thyme, so why does he keep on pushing it? What the fuck does he want from you?

“You are brave.” Finnick’s words are low.

He doesn’t scare you.

You know him in and out.

You know his darkest secrets.

How is he going to scare you?

“I’m the brave one?” you ask him slowly, “Last time I checked, I already fucking apologized. You were the one that didn’t listen. You were the one that brushed me off. Don’t come to me acting like the victim.

“Not to mention, Finnick,” you spit his name, “You didn’t even say that you regret what you said to your team. You said that you would rephrase it. It’s a fucking excuse, and I don’t do excuses. You owe me an apology.”

“For what?” he asks.

You explode, voice loud, “What the fuck do you mean ‘for what’?” you’re shaking your head, “I just fucking told you! Do you want another reason, then? You’ve been treating Thyme, over there, like your fucking best friend as if I’m not here. She’s the devil on your shoulder, Finnick. Won’t you open your eyes?”

Finnick shoves you back, you catch your footing in time to make it look natural. You don’t see this as a good sign, though. He’s angry, “Don’t talk about her like that.”

“Why not? Don’t like facing the truth--?”

“Because she’s my fucking friend, (Y/n)!” Finnick shouts back, “You called her a bitch and you don’t have a shred of sympathy!”

He gestures over his shoulder, straight at Thyme. She’s sitting on her bed, looking like she’s enjoying herself, watching the two of you go at each other like this. You watch as she fakes a pout, bites her lip, and then turns her head away. Her shoulders shake, pretending to cry. But her giggle is unmistakable.

It takes everything in you not to lunge at her.

The oven controlling your body is only getting hotter. You can feel your fingernails digging into the skin on your palm. Your eyes flash to Finnick, “Why should I? She’s not my fucking friend, she’s yours!”

You move forward, “And I know this might be shocking to you, but I’m your friend. I’ve been your best friend for years! So why are you so hellbent on keeping her, and not me? Aren’t I more valuable than this?”

Finnick stares, no response coming from him.

Your jaw sets, “During the Choosing Ceremony, before I came to Dauntless, I thought it would be an even trade. To take you, and leave my family behind. Clearly, I was fucking wrong.”

The anger washes away from his face, his mouth opening. You can see his hand raising to grab onto you.

You jerk away, “Don’t worry Finnick, this is all fine to me.” you give him a sneer, “Just don’t forget that I know all of your secrets. And there’s nothing stopping me from using them anymore.”

Finnick doesn’t say anything, hand frozen out to grab you.

“It’s time to go to the training room.” Trink’s voice cuts the silence that deafens the room.

No one moves from where they are. Not even Ossie and Amos left early to get breakfast. They’re still near the door, hand poised on the handle, like they had been expecting the fight to only last a couple of seconds. Or for the two of you to kiss and make up and let this all be over and in the past.

You’re the first to straighten.

“Okay,” you say, still staring at Finnick, “Let’s go then.”

Ossie and Amos scoot out of the door first. Trink holds it open for you, before letting Allio take it next. She keeps to your side, glancing at your face every now and then like she expects it to change. But there’s an unmistakable anger that’s bubbling in your stomach and popping in your chest. Like lava.

She’s wise enough not to say anything.

You all arrive late to the training room. Caspian has his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the door when you walk in. He doesn’t look happy at all, and neither does Laurel. You’re guessing it’s because Mags is standing right there, hands behind her back, assessing each and every one of you as you enter.

“Where’s Finnick and Thyme?” Caspian barks.

“Oh, they’re coming.” you snarl.

Caspian’s eyes linger on you, but you’re more focused on the board behind him. To see who’s fighting who. They’re standing directly in it, purposefully blocking your view. You hope it’s Thyme. You hope it’s Thyme. You hope it’s Thyme.

You hope it’s Thyme.

After a few more beats of silence, the door to the training room opens.

Caspian tilts his head slightly, like he’s unsure what to make of today’s newfound tension.

But then he moves out of the way.

And there’s an explosion of pleasurable bliss that fills your body.

You will not be fighting Thyme.

You will be fighting the man himself.

You grin, head turning to see Finnick’s reaction. He’s stoic, staring ahead at the board, not entertaining you. It’s fine, Finnick. You already know what you need to. You saw him reach out. You saw the look of remorse. Everyone did. There’s no point in being so guarded now.

The chalkboard reads:

You and Finnick.

Trink and Thyme.

Allio and Amos.

Eytelle and Ossie.

“Oh, she’s going to get her ass demolished.” Trink cracks her knuckles.

“(Y/n) and Finnick.” Caspian calls, watching.

“Good luck.” Trink says, Eytelle and Allio echo her.

You resist the urge to skip to the circle.

When you get there, you crack and stretch every place you can think of, letting Finnick take his time. In the meantime, you go over every single detail that you’ve logged over the years and the past couple of days. Finnick has only been hit twice, both in places that are insignificant. You shouldn’t spend your time focusing on them.

You need to watch the way he moves, and predict his hits before he makes them. If you stay ahead of the game, then Finnick will have no opportunity to get at you. And if he does, it’ll be minor chances that won’t have a single affect on you.

You will come out as the winner of this fight.

Even if that means to put the remainder of your friendship on the line.

You roll your ankles in front of you, stretch your shoulders back and forth. You can feel every little ache in your body. Unfortunately, you’re going to be defensive in some areas, even if you don’t want to be. You were smart to give up during Ossie’s fight when you did. Otherwise you’d be hurting so much worse right now.

There’s a few things that Finnick’s going to want out of this fight. The first is a quick and easy win. He wins this, he keeps his perfect streak of no losses and no major injuries. He gets to impress Mags, and the fight won’t be dragged on for longer than a couple of minutes.

So you need to do the exact opposite.

You’re the first to raise your fists, he follows suit. You can’t help but to smile, “What’s the matter, Finnick? You’re looking a little blue.” his face hardens, “Something happen?”

He moves forward, “Shut up.”

You don’t move, standing your ground, “Sounds like you’re a little scared. Am I suddenly threatening to you?”

His arm twitches, you jump back, out of the way completely just to be safe. You’re not sure if he’s going to pull an Allio and swing at you with his non-dominant hand. You’ve already made that mistake, so it won’t be happening again.

“A little unpredictable?”

If Finnick is twitching, you’ve broken the mask. Finnick is supposed to have smooth movements. He’s always had smooth movements.

“Stop fucking with him and fight.” Caspian barks.

You ignore him. You have a plan, and antagonizing Finnick is on the list. You need him to stay angry, so that his actions aren’t hidden. It’s almost like what Ossie did to Allio on the first day, except you’re being verbal. It’s easier to get under Finnick’s skin this way. You need to stay one step ahead of him.

You move toward Finnick now, remembering the way that he had started all three of his fights. You need to find a way to get Finnick down. As long as he’s standing, he has an advantage on you. There’s no way you’re going to get a good hit on his face, he’ll be able to catch your arm before you’re even close.

Maybe if you get his guard down?

You’re prepared for Finnick’s swing, he likes to take the first hit, usually. You manage to lean out of the way before driving your fist into his stomach, backing off immediately after. His face is a shade of red, slightly twisted in pain. Unlike Allio, Finnick doesn’t absorb hits as well. He’s not used to being hit.

Finnick comes closer, crossing the circle straight instead of slowly shuffling to get to you. You don’t move at first, still trying to stay with the ‘keep your ground’ strategy. But the closer he draws, the more you realize that you can’t escape this. You can’t come up with a plan and stall. You need to give Mags something to make you stick out.

You head towards him too. Finnick is not the only initiate in this room who can match energy.

You jerk to the side, watching as Finnick immediately goes to correct his path so that you’re in his line of sight. You wonder if Finnick really has a need to show off and drag this fight out for Mags. He rarely switches up routine, so you’d like to say that he doesn’t. It’s the whole reason why he can be terrifying sometimes.

Everyone knows how he likes his matches by now, which is probably why Finnick has been put to fight first after the first fight. Because his is the quickest and easiest, you know what to expect to happen and how it’ll end. You can see why people would be afraid of him for this reason. If something isn’t broken, why replace it? Finnick has won all his matches in three punches or less, why try to change that?

It’s more impressive to get someone down without severely injuring them anyway, right? It’s like a demonstration of raw power. And with you being on the opposite end of the spectrum… it’s like you always have something to prove.

You can feel your face drop, eyebrows drawing in.

No, everyone in Dauntless has something to prove. If you don’t, then there’s no point in being here. If you’re not proving that you’re strong, or brave, or--for fuck’s sake--threatening, you won’t be considered an equal. And if there’s anything, anyone ever wants, it’s to be an equal or above.

This brings you to another infuriating realization. Finnick does not see you as his equal.

Without a single thought going into the move, your fist flies across Finnick’s cheek. His head turns, eyes widening. You duck, he misses, you’re back on your feet in time to slam your shoe into his ribs. When you move forward again to keep the rhythm, Finnick backs up, eyes darting across your body.

You fix your hands before he decides that’s a good place to target. You need to make sure he stays away from your nose and stomach. Everything else on your body is free reign, you could give less of a shit. But if you break your nose again, you’re not sure you’ll be able to stop the blood flow this time.

Finnick presses his hand to his ribs for a moment, his hand looks shaky. He stops backing up, now that he’s assessed the damage to his ribs and completely ignored his face. It’s a shame too, Finnick’s always been cute.

He moves towards you, you try not to back up too much. You still need a way to get him down without aiming at his face. You got lucky with the face shot, it will not happen again. Like you, Finnick tends to be more careful with spots that were just hit. If you want to try again, you’d have to find another way to wind up to get there.

Then again, you didn’t even think about it. One second you were standing there, and the next your knuckles were throbbing.

You bounce from side to side, watching him. You just barely catch the way he leans forward, throwing all of his weight into his punch. You twist your head to the side, which changes Finnick’s course of punching your nose, to your jaw instead. You recover better this way, ignoring the complaints from the nerves in your teeth.

Without much of a choice, you punch Finnick’s stomach, using the weight idea that he had originally used. The silence in the room is temporarily disturbed when he gasps, trying to suck in air to replace what you’ve stolen. You squeeze your fist tighter, bringing your arm back to do it again.

Finnick’s hand envelopes your fist, catching it before you land the hit. It isn’t until he’s twisting your arm, do you realize what he’s about to do. It’s the exact same thing he did with Eytelle. Trap her, twist her arm, two punches and she was out like a light.

You need out, right now.

You yank, ignoring the pain in your wrist. Finnick’s raising his arm, face stoic and staring into your eyes. You need to break the mask. You saw his face when you told him what happened at the Choosing Ceremony. You need to do something like that again.

You grab his wrist with your other hand, not pulling away as prominently now. You let tears flood your eyes, “Don’t, please.”

At the softness of your voice, Finnick’s arm isn’t as tensed, his face matching the emotion you’re giving him. He still plans on punching you, just not as hard. Which is good enough for you. He’s fallen for it.

Your left hand hits his chest, full-force, dead-on. He loosens his grip, but not enough for you to regain your right hand. You twist your arm until your wrist is grabbing his, before kicking his legs from underneath him.

He pulls you down with him, making you land on top. The two of you scramble to get the upper hand, but it’s easier for you. You place your hips on top of his, struggling to get your wrist free. He’s got a lock of iron, and no matter how much twisting you do, he doesn’t budge.

You lean forward for a moment, slamming your right foot on top of his wrist, keeping it from moving. This means that you have limited mobility, though. And he’s still got full use of his right hand.

Finnick knows this, his arm is already raising. All he has to do is turn his upper body and he’ll be able to hit your face. You could try to catch his wrist, but he’s got enough force to plow through whatever you’ll be able to do.

You still have access to your left foot.

Right as Finnick unwinds, you slam your foot across his jaw. You can hear his teeth snap against each other, head hitting the wooden floor. He finally releases your wrist though, which is enough for you. His hands cup his face, but it won’t last long.

The first punch is to his chest, making his body cave in temporarily. The next is to his nose, blood running down the side of his face and pooling on the floor. You aim for his nose again, and this time you’re filled with a fluttery pleasurable feeling, hearing the snap fill the air.

A pain explodes across your mouth, bringing tears to your eyes. You back off of Finnick for a moment, allowing him to shove you off of his body. You scoot back, not wanting to close your mouth. But you can’t help it anymore, gritting your teeth to combat the pain. You taste metal immediately.

And see red right after.

You lunge for Finnick, who’s trying to get on his feet. He’s moving slower than usual, which is probably because he’s rubbing the blood from his mouth to avoid the problem you’re currently facing. He doesn’t see you coming. Your body collides with his again, fist raised and slamming against his mouth this time.

Let’s see if he likes how it feels.

The two of you end up in the same position as last time, only he’s twisted at an uncomfortable angle, and you’re straddling his hip. You can’t help yourself, aiming for his cheekbone. The more injuries reside on his face, the more proof it is that you beat Finnick. The more the lesson sinks in.

You are just as good as he is. And he was stupid to think otherwise.

This is his punishment.

The tunnel vision begins as soon as you start a pattern. Each time you blink, his face gets worse. First his nose, then his swollen lips, then the red splotches across his cheekbone. Your knuckles catch his jaw, slamming his head into the ground harder. The more you lean forward, the more leverage you begin to have.

And Finnick is pushing, blocking his face while he tries to find an opening. But it’s hard to block his entire face with just a forearm. You should know, because it’s one of the flaws that he couldn’t pick at.

One hit after the other, your hands begin to coat red. Your knuckles begin to ache, arms becoming sore, too much protest because of how much force you’re using. You can’t help it, there’s no other way to keep him down. Any other place, and he would just get up again.

Your hand raises for his eye, and you get halfway through the move before there’s a pair of hands grabbing your arms, yanking you off of Finnick. You struggle for a moment, but the hands are gone as quickly as they came. The person throws you away from your former friend, and moves in.

It’s Laurel, hovering over him like she doesn’t know where to begin.

There’s throbbing in your temples, a headache beginning to form. You wonder why the room is so quiet at first, then you realize that there’s an intense ringing in your ears, taking it’s time to fade out. By the time you regain your hearing, Laurel is saying something about calling the doctor, Cleo, and having her bring an extra pair of hands to wheel Finnick out.

You can feel a dripping sensation beneath your nose. You reach up to touch the area, and come back with red. You don’t remember your nose getting hit, and you can’t tell if this is your blood or Finnick’s.

“Please.” a whisper fills the room.

Your eyes land on Finnick, who’s nothing but a mess of blood and tears. Did he call the end of the fight? You don’t remember hearing that either. In fact, you don’t think you remember anything. Only the feeling of skin-on-skin contact, over and over and over...

Laurel gently tells him that the fight is over, before she looks over her shoulder at you.

You think you can see disappointment. Or maybe it’s anger.

All you know is that you struggle to stand on your own two legs, smearing blood on the floor. You can feel your legs tremble beneath you. Your hands are the same way, not staying in the same place for longer than half a second, coated in red. Your palms, really, are the only safe place that isn’t touched by Finnick’s blood. You can feel droplets running down the back of your arms.

“Holy shit, (Y/n),”

You look over to see Caspian, drained of color. He’s surprised, why? Did he not see the way you fought Allio? Or does that not compare? Mags doesn’t look the same way, she just stares. You don’t know what to say to either of them, so you don’t. You slowly back out of the white circle.

And then the words come to mind, “I couldn’t lose,” it’s quiet, but loud enough for everyone to hear, “And he needed to.”

You’re not sure if needed is the word, you guess it doesn't really matter.

You won, Finnick lost.

And neither of you can come back from this.

Not anymore.

ANTERIC IS A SPIN-OFF DIVERGENT AU //MASTERLIST//

add yourself to the TAGLIST

@amixedwitch / @justthatfangirloverthere / @fnnshelbys / @neenieweenie / @vxntae / @liaaacantwrite / @terezasworld / @i-dumb-bitch /

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 4 years

Text

Riddler part 3

Master List

Warnings:talks of broken heart, once again all Spanish is from google, swearing, talks of domestic violence and dealing with grief

WC:1355

Enjoy x

After dinner you guys shared a cab home. Rafael walked into his apartment and sat down on the couch turning on the TV. He wasn’t really paying attention to it, he was thinking about you. He finally seen another side to you tonight, a side he was pretty sure you hadn’t shown anyone else. Yes you grew up with 12 boys, which you used as an excuse to cover the real reason you acted like that. You had been hurt, just like him. It was easier to be a smart ass and not be liked then to try and be nice and be hurt. You just wanted to be loved. So did he, by you.

Next morning you got up and dressed for work. You needed to be at Rafael’s office by 8 for last minute prep with Amanda with court starting at 9. You pulled up at the court house at 7.30 and walked into Rafael’s office. Carmen wasn’t there yet, but he was, you could smell him.

“Morning Counselor ”

“Morning Detective” he smiled at you. He looked at you different today. Different in a good way. Like something had changed.

“I grabbed you a coffee, hope I got it right” he point to the second cup sitting on his desk.

“You’re the Best. Thank you” you took a sip “Just right” you smiled back at him

“Puedo hacerte una pregunta?” (Can I ask you a question?)

“Si Adelante” (Yes, Go ahead)

“Esta Noche (tonight), have dinner with me? Win or lose”

“You mean win Counselor. Si por que no (Yes why not)” you smiled at him.

“You know quite a lot of Spanish Detective, I like it” you laughed

“I’ am full of sorpresas (surprises) Counselor” you winked at him

Court went in your favour and the perp was found guilty. Your testimony went well and Rafael was pleased with you and Amanda.

“You both done great. Well done.” Just then Amanda’s phone rang and she walked away.

“So dinner tonight?” he asked

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it”

“I’ll text you the address later. Meet me there after work”

You and Sonny finished at 4 and you weren’t meeting Rafael till 6.30, you got home to shower and changed. Something was different about Rafael today, he was different with you and you liked it. You looked up the restaurant he sent the address too, it was another Spanish one. You had just the right outfit.

You didn’t wear many dresses or skirts, only when you went out for girl’s nights. You pulled out a black short skirt, it sat mid-thigh and had two frills layered, coming off the hem. Very Spanish style. You then picked a white sheer non see through top that was tight fitting, had capped sleeved and tucked it in. You grabbed a pair of black slides and a clutch. You left your hair straight, did your make up and walked out the door.

Your cab pulled up right on 6.30. For the first time in a long time you had butterflies. This feeling was foreign to you. The last time you felt this, your heart was broken in two. Just then Rafael walked straight past you towards the door.

“Rafael” you yelled out and he looked around to seen you standing there. His eyes flew open and his mouth dropped open looking you up and down.

“Y/N?”

“Come on Barba, what? Too girly for you” you laughed at him and walked towards him “Some hombre guapo (handsome man), asked me to dinner at this Spanish place. Thought I better make some effort”

“And I’m glad you did, you look beautiful. Do you always dress like this outside of work?”

“What no, only on girl’s nights with Amanda”

You guys walked in and got seated at a table. You both ordered quickly and sat back relaxing and talking. Your drinks came and you took a big sip to try and tame the butterflies.

“So, who was the asshole that broke your heart?”

“I ‘am sorry what?”

“What to forward for you? I know you heard me” his trade mark smirk came to his face.

You looked at him in his eyes and then took another sip of your drink.

“It’s going to take more than one drink for that story” you huffed and laughed at the same time. Rafael called over the waiter and ordered two shoots. You both cheered and shot them down.

“He was my old partner, my first partner” you paused “We started to see each other pretty much as soon as we were partnered. You know the whole love at first sight bullshit” you huffed and he nodded back. “Things were good for about 18 months, we hadn’t meet each other’s parents yet, thank goodness, he only met some of my cousins. Of course things were good till they weren’t. We got a call one night to a domestic violence case. He really done a number on her. They had a two year old and 6 month old, beautiful little kids. We managed to get them out that night and into a shelter. We didn’t know she took her phone with her. He rang her the next day and she went back to him” you paused, Rafael lent forward to grabbed your hand, you holding his back. “We got the call a week later reporting gun shots from the address, we went back and well you know the rest” you took another sip of your drink. “Things fell apart, he couldn’t handle what I was going through mentally after what we seen, or rather he didn’t want to handle me. I was hard work he told, someone he couldn’t take home to his Mum, too damaged” you took another sip of your drink sighing “Next thing I knew he had asked to be re-partnered and I was reading his engagement announcement in the paper. He ended up with our captain’s daughter, 3 weeks after he broke up with me, they were engaged 6 months later and as they say the rest is history.” You looked at him shyly having a drink of water feeling all the sips of drink going to your head.

“He didn’t know what he had”

“No Rafael, he knew what he had. He just didn’t want it. I haven’t been in a relationship since. It was my first and will most likely be my last” you laughed.

“You don’t always need to be so strong” he said back to you squeezing your hand.

“If I don’t I’ll fall apart and no one will put me back together. Anyway, enough about me, who’s the bitch that broke your heart?” he raised his eye brows and lifted his hand from yours to order another round of shots.

“We have had somewhat the same experience. Love at first sight, for her to choose my best friend over me”

“Are they still together?”

“Less and less. He is in jail for talking to underage girls plus other stuff, she stands by him”

“Well….more fool her, the grass isn’t always greener” you shrugged your shoulders, “I guess it all worked in my favour in the end”

“Why is that?” he raised his eye brows at you.

“Well I’ am sitting here with you, you’re not at home playing husband Barba. Cheers to me” you took a sip of your new drink and he gave you a smile.

Rafael paid the check much to your protest, you were both standing outside waiting for your cabs to come. You both hadn’t noticed the time, it was 11 and you both had work tomorrow, you starting at 8.

“I had a great time with you Rafael” he smiled to you and took a step closer

“Podemos hacer esto de nuevo? (can we do this again?), but maybe not a weekday” you both laughed “Sábado? (Saturday?)”

“Si, soy libre (Yes I’ am free)” you answered back.

“Great it’s a date” he lent in and hugged you, kissing you on the cheek.

“Wait-a date? Like an actual date?”

“Yes Detective, like an actual date”

Tags: @detective-giggles @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @the-baby-bookworm @dianilaws @scarletsoldierrr @lv7867 @permanentlydizzy @averyhotchner @infiniteoddball @ritajammer21

#ada rafael barba #ada barba #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x yn #rafael #barba #barba fanfic #barba x reader #law and order svu #SVU fanfiction #SVU FANDOM #svu fan #nbc svu #rafael barba x you #Raul Esparza #reafael barba x reader #rafael barba x reader

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hiddennerdworld · 3 years

Text

Homesick (pt 3) with Katsuki Bakugou

Note: Hi! This is long I'm sorry fakldj;vnj. Also I didn't know how to end it. And I didn't proofread well. It's a mess, BUT a fluffy, cozy mess. Hopefully you enjoy this as much as I did :)

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It was Friday night and you were having a movie marathon with the Bakusquad. You had hoped it would take your mind off things, but once everyone had passed out on the couch, it was no help. You gently moved Mina's head and Kirishima's arm off of you and headed to the kitchen where you found Boom Boom Boi hanging by the counter. This didn’t really phase you because you were all friends. You were only super close to Kaminari and Mina, but you still knew the others well enough.

“Oi! What are you doing in here, idiot?” He asked looking up from his phone.

“Well hello to you too. I’m just grabbing some water. Why are you in here anyway? You’re supposed to be watching the movie with us, you know."

“Not that it’s any of your damn business but I got bored. I can’t believe you guys like to watch that shit. I don’t believe a lot of the stuff you guys do. I’m surprised you didn’t all parade in here like a bunch of dumbasses!”

You giggle to yourself as you join him at the counter with your glass of water. “They’re actually all asleep. It’s kinda hilarious if you look at it. They’re like spaghettied together.”

“And you’re not with them? I thought we wEre SuPpoSed to Be waTcHinG thE mOVie ToGeThER?” As usual, Kacchan took great pride in mocking you. He has the widest smug grin on his face. However, he noticed you weren’t firing back as much as you normally would. Even with the voice and stupid faces he made you still just stared at your glass.

“Eh I mean you’re right but I couldn’t sleep and the movie sucks if there isn’t constant commentary from Kaminari.”

“Don’t blame you. Shitty Hair’s snoring wakes me up half the time.”

“Nah it’s not that. I just-.... I don’t know. Nevermind.” You were getting all flustered and fidgety now.

“Well, something is on your mind because you’re being so fucking weird. Just spit it out!” He was now doing his usual seething while waiting.

“Okay fine! I-I just miss my family I guess. It’s stupid but that’s why I can’t relax or fall asleep. And it’s just gotten worse the longer we’ve been at the dorms.”

“You’re not stupid.” He mumbled and you short your head up to look at him. Did Lord Explosion Murder just say something not insulting? To you?

“Everyone misses home. Who wants to live at their fucking high school? Hell, I even miss my parents sometimes. My dad may be a wimp, but he fucking knows how to cook.”

“Mine too. He would make my family pancakes for breakfast every weekend.” You sighed and looked back down. You guys sat in silence for a while. Bakugou had no clue what to do. All of a sudden he sighed and grabbed your wrist. “Come on, loser. It’s late we’re going to bed.”

Now you had no clue what to do. What the hell was he doing? “Uh no that’s okay Bakugou! You go ahead I’ll stay here and keep an eye on them.” You said trying to resist but he just kept dragging you along.

“They’re fine. Probably won’t even be up until noon tomorrow. So let’s go!” He kept dragging you along and you finally ended up at your door. Luckily it wasn’t locked so he just swung it open and threw you in bed. He pointed a finger at you and said “stay there” and stomped out. And you listened, waiting to see what he was up to. A few minutes later he returned with a blanket and pillow and flopped then on the floor and slammed the door shut.

“What are y-“ you start to speak but are interrupted.

“I’m staying in here so you’ll go to sleep and get out of your sappy mood and I don’t have to listen to your bullshit tomorrow. Now goodnight.” He started to get set up on the floor. Of course, in a very aggressive manner, grumbling the whole time.

“Well if that’s the plan we can share the bed if you want. There’s plenty of room.” You said quietly, not wanting to look at him while saying it.

“Pch- fine if that’ll get you to sleep faster.” With that, he threw his stuff on the floor and crawled into bed next to you. Once he got under the blanket you could feel a wave of heat. This mans is a fucking furnace. He flipped with his back towards you and pulled on the blanket.

You faced away from him too and said “Thank you. Goodnight Bakugou.” You were smiling to yourself. “Yeah, whatever.”

Almost falling asleep a few times but waking yourself back up, you still couldn’t sleep. You knew Katsuki was out tho because of his soft snoring. Still trying your best you moved around to get more comfortable. This led to Bakugou putting his arm on you. You froze and your eyes widened. Was he doing this on purpose? Did you wake him up? Why isn’t he yell- Your panic was stopped by the boy continuing to snore. Phew, at least you didn’t have to worry about that. Continuing to try to get comfortable, you tried to nuzzle closer to him and he pulled you close. You soon fell asleep with a little smile on your face.

———————————————————————

The next morning you woke up with the sun shining in your eyes. You expected to wake up just as you fell asleep, in Bakugou’s arms. Oh, you were ready to give him so much shit about it. But you soon felt the lack of warmth from your side and flipped over to realize the boy and his stuff was gone. You shrugged. Of course he was already up. That boy rises with the sun. So with not being able to tease Kacchan, you got ready to see if the others were up yet.

As soon as you walked out of your dorm you found Kaminari.

“Hey! There you are Y/N!” He ran up and gave you a hug. “Where’d you run off to last night?”

After being so kind to you, you decided the least you could do is keep your mouth shut about what happened with Bakugou. “Oh, I just went to bed after you all fell asleep. Too many times where I almost got kicked in the face. Plus, Kiri snores sound like a construction site.”

He chuckled at that last bit. “That’s true, but you get used to it after a while. Well, we all missed you. Wanna hang with us in a bit? We can sneak some of the food Bakubro is making.”

“Oh yea, for sure! See you later, Kami.” You both did finger guns as you walked away. After you turned the corner, you turned around and kept walking. Kacchan was cooking? Usually he’d be out training by now? You quirked up your brow and kept going, curious to see the goodies that were being made. As you got closer and closer, the sweet scent of whatever was being cooked got stronger. Now super hungry, you skipped into the kitchen. There you found the spiky blonde wearing an apron and flipping pancakes. Your heart swelled with happiness. You stood frozen but your smiled radiated warmth. He was doing something nice? For someone else? For you??! You ran up and gave him a hug. A blush quickly rose to his cheeks.

“Oi! What the hell are you doing dumbass?!” He lifted his arms and looked down at you holding his waist and resting your head on his shoulder.

“You’re making pancakes?! I can’t believe you remembered, Bakugou!” You gave him a squeeze.

“This isn’t because of all that shit you said last night! Listen, I’m making these because you put the idea in my head and I needed to make them! I’m making these because I want to! For me! Got it?!”

You let go and gave him a grin, “Well then why are you making so many?”

“THAT’S JUST HOW MANY THE RECIPE MAKES!!! You can have some if you shut up about it!”

“Yes, sir!” You said giving him a fake salute. Then you skipped away, running into Kaminari who was heading into the kitchen.

“Nice! You’re making pancakes, Bakubro?!” He tried picking one up from the finished pile and Bakugou slapped him away.

“GO GET YOUR OWN DAMN FOOD, SPARKY!!!”

“You’re really telling me you’re gonna eat all of these? Yea, right.” He said while trying again to get a pancake which ended the same way as it did before.

After slapping him away again Bakugou looked up and gave him a nasty glare. “I said they aren’t for you.”

Kaminari then backed away with his hands up. “Okay, sheesh. I get it. Pancakes are good man, no judgment here.”

Then after a little while, Bakugou came into the dining area with two plates. He sat across from you and placed the plates on the table. A big smile grew across your face. “Yay! I’m excited to try them.” You take a bite, “Mmmmmm! These are so good!”

“Tch- I know. Spent so much time on ‘em they better be fuckin good.”

You guys ate together, barely talking but that was alright. Bakugou kept looking up every so often when you weren’t looking to make sure you liked them. His ego doubled after seeing you so happy. Soon, you finished your amazing breakfast. So you got up and walked to the other side of the table. “Thanks again.” You said softly. Then you bent down and gave him another hug and a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m gonna go finish getting ready for the day.”You grabbed your plate and rushed back towards the kitchen with a blushing, smiling face.

Bakugou was broken for a sec. Poor boy didn’t know how to react. He just grumbled under his breath, trying to sound angry to hide the fact he was smiling and his face was bright red. At least he got you out of your shitty mood. That was the goal, right? (Soon after he told you that he may like you more than most people. Dude can’t hide what he’s feeling, so he just spits it out. You gave him lots of more hugs and kisses after that.)

———————————————————————

BONUS!

Kaminari yelled to Bakugou from across the room. “Hey Bakubro! You have any food left from your date with Y/N??!!”

“I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

Kaminari heard sparks and ran for his life.

#bakugou headcanons #mha headcanons #mha fluff #bakugou fluff #katsuki bakugou

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machine-gun-casie · 5 years

Text

Nervous

@storiesforallfandoms: Could it just be an imagine about the reader meeting Casie for the first time and just being nervous that she won't like the reader? But then like obviously Casie does haha i loved writing this one!!

wc: 1.6k

Colson was showing you a video Casie had sent him, it was of her dancing with her friends to his latest single. He was laughing, telling you that he taught her that dance. The video ended with Casie putting the camera incredibly close to her mouth.

“Machine Gun Kelly, this is Machine Gun Casie speaking. When am I gonna see you next? Over.” The video cut, leaving you and Colson in peels of laughter in the sheets of your messy bed.

Colson sighed and turned off his phone, looking at his lock screen. It was a screenshot of you guys facetiming Casie. “I miss her so much.”

“Our flight is tomorrow, then you’ll be all over her.”

“Yeah, I know. It feels like the days are just longer right before I see her.” Colson paused and looked over at you. “Are you excited? This is gonna be the first time you guys meet in person.”

Your face scrunched up, anxiousness overriding every other emotion. You put your arm up and leaned your head against it to look at Colson properly. “I am, I’m just super nervous.”

“Why?” Colson asked, you being nervous to meet Casie not even crossing his mind. “You guys have talked before.”

“Yeah, but meeting in person is different.” You shrugged. “With the calls, you’re always there. And she’s nice, she’s such a sweetheart. But when we go to Cleveland, there’s gonna be times when it’s just me and her. Even if it’s for a few minutes, I don’t want it to get awkward. I want her to feel comfortable around me.”

“So do I. She’s gonna have to get used to you, cause I don’t plan on dumping your fine ass anytime soon.” Colson smirked, biting his lip and looking over your body next to his.

“Mm, I hope so.” You giggled. “But I know her opinion of me is important to you, and I understand that. She’s your daughter, her position in your life will never change. I’m a little worried, is all.”

Colson looked into your eyes and smiled, taking a deep breath before saying what he had to say. “No one I’ve been with has ever cared this much over what Casie thinks of them. That is why I’m not worried at all. Casie is the chillest person I know, and the things that worry you will probably never cross her mind. She will analyze you for a bit, I know that. She only wants the best for me. But you are the best for me, and I know she’s gonna see that.” He sealed his promise of things going right with a kiss and pulled you into his chest. “Now stop worrying and go to sleep, we’ve got a flight in the morning.”

He opened his phone again and entered his chat with Casie.

-Our flight is early in the morning, so we’ll be there by noon. I’ll text you when we land.

-Be at the airport!!! I need to see you as soon as I step foot in Cleveland.

-y/n can’t wait to meet you.

A smile snuck itself onto your face as you saw the last text. You could only hope that Colson was right about Casie liking you as you drifted into unconsciousness.

You woke up incredibly early the next day for your flight, Colson made sure to be sober the night before as to not deal with a hangover at the airport. As soon as the car pulled up to your terminal, you saw the paparazzi.

“Who the fuck tipped them off? We booked two days ago.” Colson cursed.

Slim scoffed and put on his sunglasses. “Someone said that they have connections in the airport or something. They get notified when a celebrity even looks at a ticket. Bullshit, if you ask me.”

“Fuck me.” You groaned, hand rummaging through your purse.

“What’s up?” Colson asked as he slipped on his backpack and his baseball cap, hand on the door handle. “You forgot something?”

“Yeah, my sunglasses. I fucking hate paps.” You muttered.

“It’s alright, I got you.” He stepped out and took off his cap. Colson helped you down and placed the hat on your head, pulling down the visor to cover your face. He put his arm around you and told you to keep your head down. He kept you close as he yelled at the paparazzi to move out of the way. He never made you doubt his love for you and you hoped he felt the same about you.

And you definitely hope Casie would see it too.

When you walked out with all the other arrivals into the main part of the airport, you immediately spotted Casie. She was not hard to find.

She had a poster almost as tall as her with the biggest, boldest, brightest bubble letters on it. And glitter. So much glitter. ‘WELCOME HOME MACHINE GUN KELLY!’

Colson’s face broke out into a huge grin as he ran up to her and picked her up. Poster discarded on the ground, he spun around with her in his arms as her giggles filled the air.

You slowly approached the scene and who you assumed to be Casie’s mother. “Hi, I’m y/n.” You introduced yourself, shaking her hand. “You must be-”

“Emma, Casie’s mom. It’s so lovely to finally meet you.” She smiled warmly at you, placing her second hand on top of your conjoined hands. “Casie’s been really excited to meet you.”

“So have I.” You said, looking over at the father daughter duo who weren’t even close to done with their embrace. Colson was holding her so incredibly close as she clung to him with all her limbs, whispering their conversation into each other's ears. “But I think it’s best to let them reunite for a bit.” You chuckled.

“Yeah, I agree. She’s gonna be like that for the next couple of days, just so you know. She needs to get reimbursed for all the time he’s gone.” Emma chuckled. “So, how are you? How was your flight?”

“It was okay, though I was nervous the whole way.” You smiled sheepishly. “Been really nervous about meeting her. I know how important she is to him and I don’t wanna let her down.”

Emma scoffed and brushed you off. “You don’t need to worry about a dang thing. She’ll analyze you a bit, sure. But the fact that you care is gonna be enough for her.”

“That’s exactly what Colson said.” You laughed. “I know I shouldn’t be worried, but I can’t really help myself.”

“To me, that’s just more reason to trust you around my daughter.” Emma smiled.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry I didn’t ask. Are you okay with all of this? I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to have this new woman just come into your daughter’s life.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Emma reassured you. “Colson’s dating life is none of my business. He knows who should and shouldn’t meet his daughter, he’s a good dad. Some of his girlfriends have never even laid eyes on Casie. I’m definitely not worried about you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh, good. I’m just- This is all new territory for me. I’ve never been with a guy who has a kid.” You confessed.

Emma nodded understandingly. “I understand, but you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Colson approached from behind, putting an arm around your waist. Casie was right next to him, unsurprisingly. “Hey, Emma. How are you?”

“I’m good, how about you?” Emma asked, no toxicity in the air at all. It was clear she really wanted to know and wasn’t just asking.

“I’m great. Thank you for bringing this little special girl to the airport.” Colson smiled, hand ruffling his daughter’s hair.

“You know if I didn’t she would’ve run off and hitched a ride.” Emma joked.

“Damn right.” Casie replied.

“Language.” Colson laughed. “Alright, with that, I think we’re gonna head out.”

“Dad.” Casie whined, tugging at his shirt.

“Oh, right.” Colson chuckled and turned to you. “y/n, this is my daughter, Casie.”

You knelt down a little to look her in the eyes, not much as she was clearly Colson’s daughter with all that height. “Hi, I’m y/n. I’ve been super nervous to meet you, if I’m being honest.” Honesty was the best policy, after all.

“No way! Me!” Casie looked at you in awe, and turned to her father. “No one’s ever nervous to meet me.”

“This one’s different.” Colson told her, winking at you. You rolled your eyes as you felt the compliment getting to you.

“Yeah, I heard.” Casie rolled her eyes and looked at you. “You know, he never stops talking about you? He’s always like ‘y/n this’ and ‘y/n that’.” Casie teased her father.

“Case, can we not get into this?” Colson begged, his face turning red.

“Colson Baker blushing? Casie, please tell me more.” You smiled, joining Casie in teasing your boyfriend.

“You two are gonna get along just fine.” Emma smiled and sighed. “Alright, I gotta head home, Colson. I’ll talk to you later.” Emma stated, bending down to give her daughter a bear hug. “Don’t forget baby, call me every night.”

“Every night, Mama.” Casie replied, bumping noses with her mother when she pulled away.

“It was lovely meeting you, y/n. Get my number from Colson so we can chat.” Emma smiled at you, preparing to leave.

“Likewise, and of course. I’ll send you pictures, I got so many activities planned.” You chuckled.

“Looking forward to it.” Emma smiled. “Bye, pumpkin.” Emma waved to her daughter as she walked away.

Colson patted his daughter on the back and sighed. “Alright, Case. You ready to head home? The guys beat us to the car.”

“Mhm, I’m ready.” Casie said, taking her dad’s hand in her right and your hand in her left. “Let’s go home.”

#machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker fanfic #colson baker x reader #colson baker fluff #machine gun kelly fluff #mgk fanfic #mgk fluff #mgk x reader #request

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drethanramslay · 4 years

Text

Without You

Pairing: Logan x MC (Lexi Cahill)

Masterlist

Word count: 2.5 K words

Warning: Just a little cursing, here and there and Angst

MC is actually not present in this fic, this is Logan's POV, four months after he had to leave LA

Author's note: I decided to take part in @rodappreciationweek so here is my submission :))

Thanks to @choicesarehard @brightpinkpeppercorn and @client-327 for hosting this 💙

Thanks to @mvalentine for pre-reading it❤️❤️

Title inspiration: Without You by Avicii (ft. Sandro Cavazza)

Song: Gone by Blake Rose

Forgive me if I make any mistakes.

The rays of the sun spilled through the crack in my curtains, making the white walls a yellow hue. My eyes were bleary and red rimmed. It had just been moments since I woke up and my hangover struck me like a train wreck, a familiar electric pain behind my eyes.

I shouldn't have drank so much.

I moved my head to only see an an empty bed side. Of course she left. Who would want to stick around after a one night stand?

The hazy memories of last night filtered through my head, making me wince. Another night, another rave, another tray of shots and another chick to bang.

You could call it saturday shenanigans but, this was different.

Everything was different since I left her.

All my days just seem to melt away into a haze of alcohol and drugs... Today, tomorrow, yesterday seems to fuse into this neverending torture, an ache which no matter how much I drink or how many girls I fuck, never fucking ceases to hurt. The only thing which can fix this gaping wound in my heart is Lexi.

But she is not here.

And never will be.

So this is how it has been for the past weeks. Me getting inebriated to new extremes just to numb the pain and to temporarily erase the loneliness before I become sober again.

Because when I'm in those intoxicated wastelands, I'm so out of it that I can almost hallucinate her dancing with me. I can almost smell her strawberry shampoo, tickling my nose. I can almost hear her tinkling laugh.

And in my alcohol induced sleep, I dream of her in my arms the both of us fitting together, like two jigsaw puzzles.

I despise being sober. Because when I am In my senses, the entire load of loss weighs down on me, crushing me and suffocating me. The 'could have been's' and the regret are all a heavy burden on my shoulders.

A small part of me is often wishing, praying and hoping that things could just go back to normal but, deep in my gut I know, that nothing is ever going to be the same again.

Nothing is ever going to be the same, now that she was gone...

How much time does it take to get over people?

It may be a day, a week, a month or a year. There is no definitive time span for getting over someone you loved, someone you cherished or someone who was close to your heart.

I think it depends on how much of an impact the said person had on you or how much of a void that person left in you.

I was the wild and carefree guy, with no strings attached and never saw myself being the one to fall in love because... Let's admit it, love is a vulnerability, a weakness which people don't hesitate to exploit.

But fast forward to four months later, I am in the same category as those emotional pussies crying over a breakup.

Being brought up in foster homes made me grow up quickly. Some houses were good and caring whilst some were harsh. And knowing that I am the most cursed person to walk the earth, I was always was stuck with the shitty households.

Don't believe me? I still have those scars from the fights and the beatings.

Growing up in such a hostile environment, taught me that there is no room for weakness or error and that love and feelings are just some fairy tale myth which is made by philosophical fools to give you a sense of hope.

But, hope is a dangerous thing, two side of the same coin. It can make you and break you.

I don't think I would have survived my childhood but... That's when I fell in love with cars.

It holds a special place in my heart.

The way my adrenaline spikes as the pointer on my speedometer achieves unattainable speeds, the way I feel the purr of my engine resound through my entire body and they way it's just me, my car and the open road... Nobody could ever compare to that sensation of freedom.

Well, that was before I met her.

Lexi Cahill.

I admit it started off as a way to recruit her as an informant, a tool to stay out of prison, another heart to break.

But little did I know that life would pull the fucking reverse uno card on me. But, I'm low-key glad it did.

It's been 4 months since that scum bag was thrown into the jail.

Four months since the crew went its separate ways.

Four months since I walked away from her.

I don't want to let you go...

Those words were on a repeat in his head, like a broken tape recorder and her teary eyes and broken expression is forever burnt into his brain. It was so hard to let her go. The one time I found a reason to stay, a reason to fight for, a reason to stop running, life just fucked it all up.

It was a tussle, a war between what my heart wanted and the logical side of me which just left me exhausted.

In conclusion, heartbreak sucks.

I reach for my phone and switch it on to check the time. But my eyes fall on our prom photo which I had made as my wallpaper. It's really stupid how head over heels I'm in love with her.

But it's the truth.

There is a saying that life gives you only one great love and that many people go for years without that.

I was one of the few lucky people to get that at 18.

But life is not sunflowers and unicorns shitting rainbows. It's rough, it's hard with its a mix of ups and downs. But it seems like mine is set to be on the all time low.

Staggering to the bathroom, I heavily leaned against the counter, my muscles flexing as I gripped the edge. My eyes lifted to see my reflection staring back at me.

I look like a hot mess.

This isn't you Logan... My inner conscience said, which eerily sounded like her.

God, I really must be losing it, huh?

Slowly and painfully I started my morning chores, my body on auto pilot. My mind kept on wandering to Lexi. She would be in Langston by now.

Would she be in that off shoulder sweater of hers, her feather tattoo peaking from underneath the sleeve? Would she be highlighting and colour coordinating her notes like she always did?

Would she have made new friends? Or dare I say a new boyfriend?

Logan stop hurting yourself. I said to myself as I visibly cringed at the thought of someone else having their arms around her.

The idea of someone else kissing her soft lips or someone else holding her hands or someone else running his hands along the curvature of her naked back made me equal parts angry and sad.

Angry for you know, obvious reasons but sad for the life I had to leave behind in LA.

God I hate this existential crisis shit... It's to early to question life.

I dragged myself in the direction of the kitchen, the smell of bacon waking me up. I was shirtless and wearing a pair of sweatpants because I was too fucking tired to wear anything else.

"Look who has decided to grace us with their presence."

"Shut up Carl, it's too early for your bullshit." Raven said as she slapped the top of his head.

I shot her a look of gratitude as I sank into my seat and reached for the plate of pancakes.

Carl and Raven were the closest thing to parents for me. Carl was a tough man with huge muscles, around six feet tall but, he was as goofy as a child. Raven was his girlfriend who was hella intimidating. The kohl lined eyes and the floral tattoo on the side of her shaven head made her look fierce. Both of them were in their early thirties and ran the Detroit Central crew.

We three were in a different crew when I was 15 and they really took a liking for me. They taught me everything I know and they are the family that I always came back too.

I dug into my breakfast, eating slowly and savouring the sweetness of the maple syrup.

"Thank god you are atleast eating now." Raven said as she ruffled my hair and turned towards the sink.

I shrugged and Carl picked up the newspaper to read, settling into his seat. Suddenly, the bell rang which had all of our backs becoming as stiff as a rod.

"Were you expecting someone, darlin'?" Raven asked, trying to peak through the windows.

"Don't get up, I'll do it." Carl said as he picked up the gun on the counter and pushed it into the back pocket of his cargo pants.

I was frozen, terrified. I had been very careful in escaping but me being the reckless fool and getting drunk seven ways to Sunday may have tipped them off.

I'm such a colossal dumbass.

I could hear Carl's gruff voice talking but I couldn't peek at the person on the other side of the door. I just sank further into my seat, hoping that it was some lost person and not the FBI.

"Boy this one's for you." He moved aside and the person I least expected to see walked in.

"You look like shit."

"Good morning to you too, asshole." I rolled my eyes.

Colt walked into the kitchen, wearing his trademark leather jackets and dark jeans. His combat boots made a thud sound with each step which made my headache worse.

"Will you be okay, Lo-lo?" Raven asked, her eyes flitting to the jerk standing in her kitchen.

Colt snorted at the nickname but luckily kept his mouth shut.

"Yep Ra. Meet Colt Kaneko. Colt meet Raven and Carl." I spoke at I stood up and put my dirty dishes in the sink.

"Oh you are Kaneko's boy, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"We heard about what went down in LA. Our condolences. He was a great man."

He gave a nod. It was a sore subject for me as well. That night in the alley, I wished I could take it back. I usually am not one to regret what I spew but whatever I said to Kaneko is another burden I'm gonna carry all my life.

"Also heard about your crew busted the Brotherhood? You were the mastermind behind it right?" Carl said as he crossed his arms.

"As much as I would love to take the credit, it was Lexi who came up with the plan." Colt said his eyes darted towards me, gauging my reaction.

"The newbie? Heard she drives like the wind-"

Hearing her name felt like an iron fist clenching my heart. That name will always be the source of my happiness, my cherished memories and my melancholy.

"Colt let's take this to the backyard, shall we?" Logan spoke up, interrupting them.

He walked to the back door and Colt followed him wordlessly. It a sunny day but a cool breeze blew which provided some kind of relief.

I reached to take out two beers from the cooler and handed him one. Colt raised an eyebrow.

"Beer... At ten in the morning?"

I shrugged as I popped the bottle cap off mine. "It's 5pm somewhere else."

"That's true too. Cheers." We clinked the necks of our bottles and took a sip as we sat down on the patio chairs.

I turned towards him. "So what brings you to Detroit?"

"To see your pretty face?" Colt said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

I snorted. "Always knew you had a thing for me, pretty boy."

"Always knew that you had an ego the size of Jupiter, dickhead. Some things just don't change."

I sighed. "Can't say the same for me through. Everything is different now."

Surprisingly, Colt didn't mock him. He stared down at the bottle in his hands. "Yeah... I can understand. How are you holding up?" He asked as he turned to face me.

I took a huge gulp of my beer before responding, my eyes staring at the mango tree in my neighbor's back yard.

"Not too good. It's been hard for the last couple of months. Kaneko's death, leaving LA and maintaining a low profile... It's been tough."

Life without Lexi is tough.

"Yeah I can understand. I still imagine pops opening the door to wake me up. And don't get me started on the FBI... bunch of bloodsuckers." He muttered the last part.

I snorted. "I'll drink to that."

"Good thing they are off our backs now." Colt spoke eyeing him from the corner of his eyes.

I scoffed. "Bitch please. They are anything but lazy. They are gonna continue hunting us down till the end of time."

"I meant that we are not the top priorities at the moment. Sure Mona was sent to jail but, a little birdie told me that they are after this 'world class' thief at the moment."

"That's a relief I guess."

"Do you know what this means?" He asked taking another sip of beer.

"It's too early for my brain to function. Come to the point, asshole."

"We are rebuilding the crew, dickhead."

My eyes widened. "No way."

"Yup." He said popping the 'p'. He downed the remainder of his beer before standing up. "I'm done repairing the garage. We have a job in two months and I need a crew for that. I already have Ximena on board and now I'm gonna go over to Toby's."

My mind was swimming. Mercy Park Crew was coming back for good.

I looked up at him, suddenly nervous. "What about Lexi?"

He rolled his eyes. "When I said I'm rebuilding the crew, I also meant recruiting Lexi, dumbass."

Oh god.

She is going to come back.

I was frozen in my place once again. I had often asked myself how I would react if I got the chance to meet her again. I always imagined that I would let out the loudest cheer and dance like a mad man.

But this is reality and my thundering heart was a reminder of that.

"Why are you sitting there with your mouth open like a fish? Go! Get your girl."

And that was it. I rushed to my room, put on some decent clothes and haphazardly stuffed my things into my satchel. Grabbing my keys and yelling a quick good bye to Raven and Carl, I was out and in my 2005 Devore GT.

Reving the engine I took off on the roads of Detroit, heading for the highway.

The window was open and the breeze threaded through my unruly hair, making me feel alive. My hands clutched the wheel and my foot pressed down on the accelerator, speeding through the empty streets.

For the first time, in a very long, the roads which felt like a never ending maze for me, were the very ones which were the path to my freedom.

The path to my happiness.

The path to my Lexi.

I hope you liked it 😊

Logan x mc: @kaavyaethanramsey @openheart @skylarklyon @shadowycreatorpaperopera @pixelberryownsme @magicalshepherdtreeprofessor @anotherbeingsworld

Permanent Tag list: @trappedinfandoms @oofchoices @agent-breakdance @rookie-ramsey @dailydoseofchoices @colossalpainintheass @siaramsey @raleigheffingcarrera @theeccentricbibliophile @ac27dj @ramseysno1rookie @justanotherrookie @openheart12 @jamespotterthefirst @checkurwindow @chasingrobbie @junggoku @bellcat2010 @choicesstan1 @mvalentine @crazynutella @hatescapsicum @dr-ramseys-rookie @lilypills @decadentwinnerjudgedream @choicesficwriterscreations @nooruleman @anonymously-cool @sanvivrma

#anushka writes #logan x mc #logan rod #ride or die #ride or die: a bad boy romance #choices rod #rod choices #rodaw #rod appreciation week #colt kaneko #rod colt #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #choices #pixelberry #playchoices #rodappreaciationweek

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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 3 years

Text

Pairings: Bumblebee (Blake x Yang)

Word Count: 1,923 Words

Summary: Discussion and go time.

Warnings: Fighting Mention, Cursing, Weapon Mention, Death Mention, Blood Mention, Amputation Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Shadows Are Made Of Light: Chapter 5

Dinner was lively to say the least. Terra and Saphron seemingly decided that eating at the table in their kitchen was their best bet while the group was discussing. Terra and Saphron had long since gone up to their bedroom to sleep.

The plans were talked through and they were about to wrap up the conversation when Mercury sighed. Now was a better time than ever for the little plans he'd overheard details from.

"I actually have something to say." Mercury didn't like all this attention once all their eyes were on him.

"What's wrong?" Jaune asked, looking over his tension-filled expression.

"There were some things Salem would relay through Cinder. There was always a plan behind the fall of Beacon. Salem's plans are to create a divide and unrest amongst the people of Remnant and gather the relics so, when the gods come back, they'll destroy Remnant, everyone on it, and she will no longer be immortal. Salem's goal is to free herself from eternity by taking everyone with her." Mercury told them.

"So she'll be looking for the Lamp." Oscar asked, though it sounded more like a statement.

"For all the relics. Last I heard, Emerald told me that Ozpin had apparently hidden the Crown even better than the other three and Cinder still hadn't found it. Now that we have the Lamp, they know they need to get the others before we can so our goal is a ticking clock." Mercury took a deep breath, hoping nobody was disappointed.

"A time crunch isn't anything new. We can still do this." Ruby assured him.

"We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be interesting." Maria laughed on her way upstairs. Mercury was going to end up asleep on the couch again because Oscar was half asleep against him again.

"I have a feeling Nora is taking pictures." Mercury told them.

"Good instincts." Nora told him, obviously taking another picture. "I've never passed up an opportunity for Cute Farm Son pictures." Nora alerted him.

"Good to know, crop me out of them." Mercury told her.

"Ehhh, I think I'll leave you in since you're looking particularly Dad-like." Mercury laughed while frowning at her.

"I hate you." Mercury smiled at her.

"Yeah, sure, Dad-cury." Nora snorted.

"Go sleep or something." He laughed, smiling as everyone filed from the room and shut the lights off. Mercury's heart stopped at the darkness. As childish as it may be, the dark was something he couldn't deal with.

"Nora?" He asked, she'd been the last one to go up the stairs due to her need for pictures of Mercury and Oscar.

"What's up Dad-cury?" Nora asked, coming downstairs and turning the lights on.

"Could you leave a light on?" Mercury asked.

"Oh yeah, sure. You scared of the dark too?" She asked.

"More of an instinct. Can't sleep with lights off. My dad told me too many stories of monsters in the dark." Mercury admitted.

"You're good, I'll leave the lamp over here on." She told him and patted the lamp before turning it on and turning the main light off. "Night, Dad-cury." She told him.

"Night, Nora." He called after her as she went upstairs. Mercury sighed at Oscar asleep on him.

"I hope you realize I'm not a pillow." He told the sleeping boy only to receive a small snore. "Fine, but it's because you're a kid and you remind me of Chrome." Mercury grumbled.

He went about pulling Oscar's excess clothing off as well as his own. They didn't need to wake up in puddles of sweat in warm, heavy clothing meant for much colder weather than this.

Then he laid down and then he smiled holding the bear from inside his jacket that he had kept, Chrome's favorite teddy bear. It was the piece of her he had left. He had kept it with him since he left his father's house. He fell asleep holding it close, Oscar deciding to cuddle up against him and he smiled. He guessed he would be a father figure to a pre-teen now too.

In the morning, the plan was running smoothly, Weiss was on the Atlesian aircraft to Atlas with Maria in her luggage as the only small person who could fit who could also fly a plane with Saphron and Adrian as her distraction to get Maria onboard. It was up to him and Blake to turn off the radar for Weiss.

Mercury was sure that three people riding on a two person motorcycle probably wasn't safe, he was aware. He was acutely aware of the conversation Blake and Terra were having about the comms equipment for the city versus the radar box.

"Are you two sure I shouldn't come with?" Yang asked as the bike stopped about a half mile from the tower.

"More intruders means we're more likely to be seen." Blake told her. "Besides, stealth isn't exactly your, um...I mean, you're great and we'll hurry back!" Blake told her.

"Go." Yang smiled at her. They went running off toward the tower together, Mercury feeling that bear close in his jacket, snuggly secured to his front so he couldn't possibly lose it.

"Heading in on foot, won't be long." Blake told the others on the comms.

"You know, you two flirting couldn't be more apparent." He told her.

"Hey!" She snapped.

"I just say what I see." He smirked.

"Sure, 'Dad-cury'." Blake teased.

"I won't deny my fatherly title. And don't make me adopt you all." He taunted back.

Their run to the tower was largely uneventful until they got to the tower itself. When they got there, there was a red-haired man he vaguely recognized as having maybe met once or possibly twice. Adam Taurus, a White Fang operative whom Emerald had informed him about two weeks ago that he'd taken reigns as the head of the organization before its eventual fall at Haven not long after.

"Blake. And you. Salem heard of your betrayal at Beacon, Mercury Black." Mercury felt a rush of both helpless and rage. This guy had the guts to practically threaten him?

"Merc, don't rush him." She warned quietly.

"Protecting your friend? Or are you travelling with an enemy, Belladonna? He could betray any of you at any moment while claiming to be a friend. He's probably not even with you to help, he's just running away like he ran away from his dear old daughter two years ago." Adam taunted.

"Don't you talk about my daughter!" Mercury snapped at him.

"Is Dad mad I brought up his abandoned baby? Mad because I'm right or because you're sad she won't have a Dad after I'm done with you?" Adam asked.

"I'm mad because some asshole is talking shit about me protecting my daughter!" Mercury shot at him with the gun-scythe, which he'd named Caduceus, Qrow got him that morning.

"Merc!" Blake snapped, pulling him away.

"Get to the radar." He whispered to her, rushing into the fight with Adam and distracted him while Blake tried to get up the relay tower. Unfortunately, that fight didn't quite favor Mercury as Adam grabbed his leg during a kick and pulled. Hard, so much Mercury went flying to the ground. The lock popped from the pin and he felt the lock break as the pin wasn't undone properly.

"Looks like Silver Black did a good job making his son easily controlled." Adam snapped. Mercury couldn't move, he knew Adam was looming over him, he knew it was so easy for him to die like this if he didn't attack but he felt a crushing weight of shock hit him that he would never see Chrome again.

She would never have a Dad, at least not one that was him. He'd never see her grow up. It made the breath catch in his lungs and tears build in his eyes. But the strike never came and, when he opened his eyes, Adam was gone, going after Blake.

He had to had to help Blake. He heard them tumbling in the trees, he shoved a twig into the the broken lock and put the pin back in. The stupid thing didn't move his stupid knee. Thankfully, he didn't need the use of it, he had a weapon still and another leg.

He could do this. He wouldn't stop fighting until he at least saw Chrome again. Blake was fighting Adam. He could hear it. he followed them to a waterfall nearby. he could tell by the sound of their swords clashing.

"You're delusional." Blake sounded shaken as he stood hidden in the forest before the opening. He saw their blades clash once more as he ran forward to save her. He wouldn't let him kill her.

Gambol Shroud was broken in half and his ears rang with Blake's scream as Mercury saw the blood on her wrist and was now getting on the ground. Her hand still on the grip of Gambol Shroud as it skittered away from her.

Adam simply shoved Mercury down and went about his bullshit speech about how she hurt him, showing off a brand on his left eye, one of the Schnee Dust Company's for their mineworkers. Blake's ears tuned back.

"I don't fucking care much for your pity me speech." Mercury spat and took him onto the ground, knocking Wilt from his hand and bringing the staff of Caduceus down on the bastard's head to try to just knock him out but he got kicked off and landed on top of Blake.

"Tell me, how does it feel to be alone?" Adam was picking up Wilt. He was holding that blade up, yelling as his intent was to bring it down but the blade didn't come a second time, Blake had taken him as she used her semblance to shadow them a few feet away.

"I'm not alone." She grit out as she held her holster for Gambol Shroud in her left hand.

"Yang." Blake grunted, holding her bleeding right wrist.

"It's okay, Blake, catch your breath for a second. Me and Merc can hold him off." Yang assured her.

"She's right, Blake. It's okay, we have unfinished business." And man if he actually needed to help her, he would have but Yang was amazing fighting him. He aided helping Blake stem the blood flow before she bled out by having grabbed her jacket, which he tied part of around her forearm and made a makeshift tourniquet.

"You'll be okay. Don't let yourself get dizzy and don't fall asleep, it might be severe blood loss." He warned her.

"His semblance is like yours! He absorbs energy through his sword, stores it up, and then sends it back when he's ready." Blake told Yang.

"He gets to dish out damage without having to feel it? That's just cheap." Yang scoffed before going after him again. Before he knew it, Blake was yelling for Yang and he was grabbing for her.

"Leave us alone. This is your last chance." Yang told Adam.

"Do you really believe that? Or are you just trying to scare me away so you won't have to die to protect her? Like your good metal buddy, Mercury over there, tried to." Adam asked.

"She's not protecting me, Adam. Neither is Mercury." He felt Blake's stump in his hand, she put it there. She was holding Yang's hand and trying to hold his in the only way she could with her right hand now gone. "And I'm not protecting them. We're protecting each other."

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blackmissfrizzle · 5 years

Text

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Summary: The reader unexpectedly falls in love with two best friends

Characters: Frank Castle x black!reader, Billy Russo x black!reader

Warnings: Violence, language, and smut

WC: 6.5k (yeah, its hella long)

A/N: This is my baby and its finally ready for release. There will be a pt. 2, which revolves around season 2. Be on the lookout for that!

A groan behind the dumpster alerted you. Instinctively, you drew your gun and rounded the corner. Your eyes had to be deceiving you, because right now you were standing in front of a supposed to be dead Punisher.

Tucking your gun back in, you bent down to check on him. “Hey, are you ok?”

“I’m bleeding out lady, do I look okay,” he grunted.

Instead of sassing him back like you usually would, you pulled him up and started walking him up to your condo.

“Hey, lady you don’t have to do this. I’m good.” He protested, trying to push off of you, but too weak to do so.

“Stop calling me lady. My name’s Y/N. And you can’t even walk on your own. Let me stitch you up and then you can leave and finish whatever crusade you’re fighting.”

Frank shut his mouth. He did an okay job at stitching himself up, but it was always better to let someone else do it. Especially, when it’s a beautiful woman such as yourself.

You finally got into your place without getting caught. After, you guided Frank to a seat, you grabbed the first aid kit out of your bathroom.

“What’s a fancy girl like you willing to bring a bleeding man in your place,” Frank questioned after taking in your condo. Women who lived in places like these typically stayed away from men who looked like him currently. They usually clutch their purse and have 911 on speed dial.

“You’re not the first bloody man I’ve brought up here and you certainly won’t be the last. And plus, I know who you are, Frank,” you took a break from cleaning his wound to look up at him to show him you had no ill-intentions. “Whatever you’re doing now has to still do with your family and I totally get it. I didn’t stop hunting down the men who killed my sister.” You explained before he could even ask you.

“So, you’re not just some trust fund baby?” Frank joked.

Tugging on the thread a little hard you smiled at his wince. “No, I’m definitely a trust fund baby. I’m just a trust fund baby that knows how to shoot.”

For the first time tonight, he smiled, and you almost poked yourself with the needle. Frank Castle was already a dangerous man, but Frank Castle smiling was a deadly man.

“You know you should smile more,” you said, finishing up the last stitch.

“I haven’t had a reason to in a long time until now.” Frank stared at you for a while, but then he remembered he had to leave, not wanting you to get caught for harboring him.

He grabbed his jacket and limped to the door. “Thanks, Y/N.” He started turning the knob but stopped and looked back at you. “Um, do you mind? Can I- um, shit why is this so hard?” He fumbled with his words and you had to stop laughing, because you could tell Frank wasn’t a man who got nervous easily. “Would it be okay, if I uh, if I come here next time I’m all busted up?”

Going up to him, you reached up to the doorframe and grabbed the spare key. “How about this? You take this key and use it whenever you’re hurt.” You forcefully placed the key in his hand and gently shoved him out the door, because you knew he would reject your offer. “See you later, Frank.”

Since, that first night with Frank you seen him numerous times thanks to his extracurricular activities. Quickly, you two became friends, which probably a hard thing for Frank to do. Conversation between you two were never boring. In fact, most of the time you two spent it laughing. After all the tragedy in his life, you knew Frank needed a ray of light, some semblance of happiness and you were the one to offer it to him.

Sometimes during his visits, he would use you as a sounding board. Your dad ran a private security firm and you worked for him so, you would give him some insight on his missions. He trusted you so much, that he told you where his hideout was with David Liberman was so you could patch him up if he couldn’t make it to you.

During all your time with Frank, you found yourself falling for him. And who could blame you? He was the perfect mix between rough and gentle, serious and goofy, jackass and sweetheart. Your ex was the opposite. Sure, Billy was rough around the edges, but he had a smooth exterior. He could charm a homeless man into giving him his last dollar.

That’s how Billy ended up in your home even though you had a bleeding Frank locked in your spare bedroom. He charmed himself in.

“So, what is it that you want Bill? I’m tired and I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.”

He knelt in front of you and grabbed your hands. “I miss you. I want us to get back together, baby.”

Knocking his hands away, you stood up from the couch. “Bullshit, Billy! Didn’t I just see you with that curly-haired DHS agent a couple of months ago?”

Billy smirked at your jealously. He knew you would never admit it, but he still affected you. Hell, you still affected him. “She reminded me of you a bit and I thought I could stay with a poor reminder of you, but I can’t. You’ve been in my mind every fucking day and I can’t get you out no matter how many other women I fucked.” He lifted his hand to stop you from interrupting him. “I know I messed up, but baby I was in a dark place then and I’m better now. I need you Y/N. I wanna marry you, give you babies, and grow old together. Please, give me one more chance,” he pleaded with a kiss to your hand.

A war was raging inside of you. If Billy would’ve done this a couple of weeks earlier, you probably would’ve taken him back in heartbeat and given him a hard time about it, but now that you were developing feelings for Frank it wasn’t so easy.

“Who is he?” Billy’s voice pulled you from your thoughts.

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Who’s the man you’re seeing” Billy annoyingly clarified for you.

You were confused. Why would he think you were seeing anyone? “Not that its any of your business Russo, but I’m not dating anyone. You kind of fucked up dating for me.”

Billy used his height to tower over you to intimidate you as he backed you into the wall. “Fuck that. Remember I can you read you so fucking well. What other man has you hesitating to take me back?”

When you didn’t answer, he kissed you roughly and what a wonderful feeling it was. Billy looked like he would be a gentle lover, but in reality, he was rough, and you loved it. Abruptly, he ended the kiss. “Does he kiss you like that? Does he know how you like to be man-handled? Does he know that you like it doggy-style with your hair pulled?” In between each question he would kiss you with his hands roaming your body.

Someway, somehow you ended up on your couch with Billy on top of you, pulling off each other’s clothes. Both of you were very close to getting naked when Billy’s phone went off. Angrily, he answered the phone and by the sound of it, you wouldn’t be continuing your little rendezvous.

“Work emergency,” he explained while putting his clothes back on. “But this is far from over. I’m picking you up at 9 tomorrow morning for breakfast. No arguments. I love you.”

“Love you too,” you replied back, before he kissed your forehead and rushed out the door.

With one door closing another one opened and you finally remembered about Frank. When he came out, he had a look of despair on his face and you felt so fucking bad. How could you be so inconsiderate of him while he was in pain?

Pushing him to the chair you apologized. “I’m so sorry, Frank. I just get so caught up in Billy that I forget about everything. I should’ve never let him in. I’m sorry.”

Frank grabbed your hands just like Billy did earlier. “No, I’m sorry.”

Now you were definitely confused. Why in the hell is Frank apologizing to you? “Umm for what,” you dragged out.

“You know I used to nag Billy about finding a good woman and settling down, you know the whole quality over quantity thing, and now look at me. I’m falling in love with his girl. Some fucking friend I am.” Frank confessed, keeping his head down.

You couldn’t believe what you just heard. Frank knew Billy. It wasn’t far-fetched, both were in the marines and at the same time. Great, it was just your luck that you fell for two best friends.

“Did you guys meet in the service?” You whispered, not trusting your voice to crack.

Frank shook his head yes. “Yeah, saved my ass more times I can count. He was on that special ops team with me that Rawlins and Schoonover headed.”

Nudging his head, you got Frank to look at you. “Frank, I didn’t know,” remorse filling your voice.

Frank held your face in his hands. “No, no, no. Its not your fault, sweetheart. Just my luck to fall in love with my best friend’s girl, huh?”

“You love me,” you asked, tears pricking your eyes.

“Oh yeah, who wouldn’t? But I already had my chance at happiness, now its Billy’s turn. You won’t see me again. I’ll get Liberman to fix me up.” Frank claimed, walking towards your door.

You grabbed his hand to try to pull him back, but he snatched his hand away with ease despite being hurt. “Frank don’t do this,” you pleaded with him.

Nodding his head to himself, he looked down at the ground. “I got to. Billy needs you. He needs a strong woman in his life. If you can make an angry, bitter fuck like me happy, you definitely can do the same for Bill. I can’t be around you, because I’ll do my best to keep you for myself.”

The both of you let reality sink in. This would be the last time you’d see Frank Castle. Just before he crossed the doorway, he slammed the door shut, gripped your face and backed you against the door. “Shit, I’m gonna regret it if I don’t do this.” Suddenly, his lips were on yours and it was divine. His kiss was gentle, but no less dominant or passionate than Billy’s. He just expressed it in a different way.

Before you got to truly relish in the kiss, Frank released your lips and leaned his forehead against yours. “Take care of Bill for me, ok,” and with one last kiss to your forehead Frank was gone.

Billy stood by the gate staring daggers at a cuffed Frank. Only if Frank would’ve stayed in hiding, he wouldn’t have to deal with all this and could be spending time with you.

“Just ask it, Bill. I know you want to,” Frank told him.

He pushed off the gate and got right in front of Frank’s face. Both men staring each other down in hate. “You screw her, Frank?”

Frank leaned back to take a look at his former best friend, a man he once considered as his brother. He toyed with the idea to lie to him but disregarded it because, he didn’t want to disrespect you by lying on you.

Getting fed up with waiting, Billy asked again with more bass in his voice. “Did you sleep with Y/N, Frankie?”

“No, but I should’ve.”

Billy cocked back his hand and punched Frank. No other man could have you, only him.

The punch didn’t affect Frank one bit. He just laughed it off and egged on Billy. “Man, you messed up, Bill. You lost her. Do you think she could ever forgive you after what you did? Was killing my wife and kids worth you losing the best damn thing in your miserable life!?” Frank ended up screaming in his face.

“My life wasn’t ruined until you decided to start your little revenge mission! I already had the ring picked out, the perfect wedding venue, and her father’s permission, but you ruined that Frank! You dragged the one pure thing in my life into your mess!”

Frank tried to jump up from his chair to get in Billy’s face. “No, you did that all on your own! After Madani found you out at the hotel, she brought Y/N in for questioning. Madani told me she railed into her. She thought Y/N had to know something, but she didn’t. Eventually, Madani believed Y/N and felt bad for her, so she told her the whole truth about you.”

“You’re lying and if you aren’t Y/N didn’t believe a word.” Billy sneered, pointing a gun at Frank.

“I’m not lying, Bill and you’re right…she didn’t believe Madani. Y/N/N didn’t believe it until she talked to me. I used to be able to find solace at Maria’s grave, but it wasn’t enough after I found out you betrayed me. So, I went to Y/N to talk and you wanna know what happened when she opened the door?”

Billy rolled his eyes at Frank’s dramatic storytelling. “What happened?”

“She broke down and cried.” Frank reminisced on your last encounter. The heartbreak on your face solidified his hatred for Billy. “All it took was one look at me and she knew everything Madani told her was true, and you wanna know what the kicker is? She apologized to me. To me! Like she was the one who pulled the trigger. She apologized for loving the man who destroyed my family. Hell, Billy she was so fucking disgusted with herself that she wouldn’t even let me touch her! Do you know what a fucking gift you had, Billy!? A woman like her only comes once in a lifetime.”

Billy had to hold himself together, no matter how much he wanted to break down. Whatever chance he thought he had with you was gone. There were a lot of things you could forgive, but his recent actions were unforgivable. “So, what now? You think you won now that you ruined my relationship with Y/N? What, are you two going to live happily ever after?”

“Hell no! Even though she hates what you did, she still loves you and that’s the beauty of Y/N. So, I can’t be with her when I kill the love of her life. I would be a constant reminder of that.”

Bending down, leaning on his knees Billy said to Frank, “That’s not gonna happen. You’ll be dead and then I’ll have time to fix things with Y/N.”

The former friends couldn’t resume their argument, because Rawlins finally showed up. This conversation would have to pick up at another time.

—

Miraculously, Lieberman was able to get in contact with you and informed you of Frank’s crazy plan. David only told you, so you can get to their safe house before Homeland Security and save Frank. He had a horrible feeling that Frank was being tortured or at the brink of death.

And he was absolutely right. When you got to the safe-house Frank was beaten at the worst you’ve ever seen him, and Rawlins had a knife to his eye.

Knowing Rawlins’ death belonged to Frank, you let off a warning shot by his ear. “Get away from him you cyclops looking ass bitch!”

All eyes turned on you. Both Frank and Billy were in shock that you were there, but Rawlins was happy.

“Forget the eye you owe me, Castle. I’ll just take one more thing you love.” Quickly, Rawlins grabbed you and put the knife to your neck.

“What the fuck are you doing, Rawlins!?” Billy yelled, drawing his gun.

“Let her go! You got me! Come kill me you son of a bitch!” Frank shouted, attempting to jump from his seat.

Both men kept yelling at him, but it didn’t deter Rawlins. Instead he added more pressure to your neck, drawing blood.

“Shut it, Russo! You don’t get to question me; you work for me.” Rawlins leaned into your ear. “I thought I would have to find you and make your death look like an accident. But look, the last loose end, struts right into the lion’s den.”

Desperately, you wanted to knock him out, but with how close he had the knife to your neck, there was a great possibility that Rawlins could get in a fatal blow.

“I’ll get her under control. She won’t say a word.” Billy tried to reason with him.

“No fucking way! I can’t wait to see Frank put a bullet in your fugly face!” You said to Rawlins, correcting Billy.

You could practically hear Billy roll his eyes at your outburst. One of things he loved and hated about you is, that you always spoke your mind, but it was one of the times that it was detrimental. “Y/N, shut the fuck up!” Frank and Billy reprimanded you.

Rawlins laughed at the interaction. “Sorry to end this little love triangle, but you can blame Castle for pulling her in Russo.”

What you and Rawlins didn’t know was that Frank and Billy were silently communicating on how to save you. Earlier, Billy loosened Frank’s restraints, because Rawlins was being a dick to him, so he deserved what was coming to him.

Finally, getting the hint Frank broke free. The shock caused Rawlins to loosen his hold on you, which allowed Billy to grab you.

“You good? Are you okay, baby?” Billy questioned while his hands roamed your body for injuries. When he was satisfied that you weren’t hurt, he kissed you deeply. For a moment, you forgot that he was backstabbing murderer, but the sound of Frank attacking Rawlins pulled you out of it.

Never had you seen Frank fight. You only saw the aftermath. So, you were intrigued when he fought Rawlins.

Billy tried to turn your head. “Don’t look. Y/N don’t need to see this.” You slapped his hands away and continued to watch anyway.

The way Frank fought was unbridled, ruthless, and brutal. Truthfully, if it was anyone else you would be concerned about their mental state, but you understood the depth of his anger and that was how he expressed.

You ran to Frank when he almost passed out after killing Rawlins. “Hey, baby wake up,” you lightly slapped his face.

“BABY!?” Billy roared from the other side of the room.

“I wish I could see your face right now, Bill. You just realized you’re done, and you lost everything you gave a shit about.” Frank struggled to speak.

“This isn’t my gun, Frank. I was never here. Y/N was never here.” Billy pulled you up from, Frank’s body and dragged you across the room.

You managed to pull yourself out of his hold and give Billy a right hook. “I’m not going anywhere with you! Do you think we still have a chance after everything you’ve done?”

Billy crowded your space and pointed the gun at Rawlins. “I offered Frankie a ticket out of the country before and just now I loosened the zip tie, so Frank had his chance. Ain’t that enough? What else do you want from me?”

“How about some remorse!? Can you even access that emotion or does that require too much selflessness from you?” You challenged Billy. You had to be hard on him or you would be too weak and take him back like nothing.

Taking a second, he looked up to the ceiling in deep thought. Billy leveled his eyes to yours and sighed, “What was happening when I broke up with you?”

“Huh? That’s irrelevant, Billy!”

“Its not! Now think what was in the news when I ended things?”

It took you awhile for you to remember, but when you did it hit you like a freight train. “Frank. His trial. Everything with Frank was front and center,” you mumbled.

“How does that matter, Billy?” Frank yelled off from the side. He didn’t need Billy charming his way back into your good graces.

“None of your business, Frankie. Why don’t you stick to dying over there?”

Punching Billy in the stomach, you scolded him. “Stop it!”

This time he let you go when you went to check on Frank. He was bleeding badly, so you took off your shirt to slow down some of the bleeding.

“Well, ain’t that a sight to go out to,” Billy commented on how Frank got an ample view of your breasts.

Billy’s smartass remarks were getting on your everlasting nerves and you were running out of patience. “William ‘Billy’ Russo quit your shit!”

“He ain’t lying sweetheart. That beautiful face being the last thing I’ve see is a blessing.” Frank took a bloody hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

You leaned down to his ear, playing it off as if you were leaning down to kiss him. “Stop talking. I need to stall him long enough until DHS gets here.”

Then you placed a kiss on his cheek, earning you a shot dangerously close to Frank from Billy. “None of that,” he warned.

“Okay, since I can’t do fucking anything but listen, please enlighten me what Frank’s trial had to do with us breaking up.”

Scratching the side of his head, Billy was trying to figure out where to start at. He had to make you see sense, to make you understand that he wasn’t as heartless as you believed him to be. “Y/N, you changed everything. Maria, the kids, I pushed all the guilt down and reasoned that their deaths were necessary, because I deserved better. And when all that shit went down with Frank and why he was killing everyone, all that guilt came back up.”

“Why then, Billy? Why did you feel guilty then!?”

“Because of you, damn it! Because I could finally relate. Because if someone as so much laid a fucking finger on you, they’d be dead. Shit, I already told Frankie over there, so I tell you, I was planning to propose to you. That pregnancy scare we had right before we broke up made me ready to have a family with you and I knew if someone took it away like Frank’s family, I would’ve ended up the same way.” Billy confessed.

Frank tried to stand up after he heard Billy’s confession, but he was too hurt, so you gently pushed him back down. “Having a family of your own made you regret your decision, even though we considered you family!?” The hurt was evident in Frank’s voice and you thought he may never recover.

“Frank, it’s done and over with. That chapter of your life is done. Matter of fact,” Billy gripped you by the back of the neck and pulled you against him. Then he cocked his gun and aimed at Frank despite your protests. “It’s the end of your story.”

Just before he was able to pull the trigger on Frank, a bullet from a Homeland Security hit his shoulder. He recovered quickly and dragged you with him, not caring that you left behind a bleeding Frank. The only solace you had in that moment was Madini would be able to get him the help that he needed.

“This is stupid, you know. You have DHS, NYPD, and my dad on your ass. Just turn yourself in and end the madness, Billy.”

Billy looked away from the window to look at you, “I’m not going prison. All I gotta do is get rid of Frank and then we’re off to a country with no extradition and starting a new chapter of our lives.”

Thankfully, Billy trusted you to a degree and didn’t tie you to the chair. So, you got up and wrap your arms round his waist and laid your head on his back. “If you go after Frank, do you really think you’ll survive that, Billy? He’s pissed and he’s not gonna stop til you’re dead. The only way to stop this is to convince you, because I know Frank can’t and more importantly, I won’t ask that from him either”

Insulted that you didn’t believe he could survive, Billy stepped out of your embrace. “You rather have me in prison?”

“I rather have you in prison than six feet under! God, Billy do you know how fucking conflicting this is for me!? I have to deal with two men I love trying to kill each other and one of em deserves it! Do you know how much it hurts my heart to say you deserve to die, Billy?” Sobs racked your body and eventually your body gave out and you fell to the floor. Never has Billy seen you cried like this. He got down to the floor and held you until the sobs subsided. “Please Billy, if you can’t go to prison just leave the country, but I can’t go with you.” You whispered against him.

It seemed like an eternity passed after you gave Billy that ultimatum. He truly considered it, but he couldn’t live without you, even if it would mean you would hate him forever. “You said it best, doll: Frankie ain’t stopping, so neither am I.” He admitted, right before he ripped your shirt in half.

“What the fuck, Billy?!” You slapped his hands away, but that didn’t deter him. His hands began to drift off to your pants and you were positive they were going to be his next victim.

Twisting your hip away from him, you were able to escape Billy’s embrace. “Bill, what the hell are you doing?”

Billy went down to push your pants down. “Just like I told you neither me or Frankie is stopping and if this is my last day on earth I wanna make love to my soulmate and possibly leave her with a little gift.”

“Uh huh. There’s absolutely no way I’m having sex with you.” Your voice quivered as you tried to reject Billy. Despite seeing him callously kill those DHS agents at his house, your body thrummed with excitement at the prospect of having sex with Billy.

Softly kissing the column of your neck with little nips in between, Billy cockily asked, “Is that so?”

You didn’t trust your voice, so you shook your head yes, which was a big no no for Billy. He loved you being vocal. Even when you two would sneak around in public, he made no efforts to quiet your moans.

“Use your words, darling,” he warned with two quick slaps to each butt cheek.

You melted into him despite the stings on your ass. “We’re totally not having sex,” you stuttered while Billy was massaging your ass.

Billy said nothing as his hand slid up your neck and lightly squeezed your throat. “See, your mouth is saying one thing, but your body is saying the complete opposite. Are you sure that’s what you want, baby? You know how good I can make you feel. How full I make you feel with me between those luscious thighs. How blissful it feels when I get at just the right angle and hit that spot. How high you feel when I start rubbing that pretty clit of yours while I’m plowing into you. Or how about how good it feels when I finally let you cum and you gush all over me. Do you really want to miss out on that for possibly the last time?”

At this point, you were a puddle. Billy always had a way with words. You only had enough energy to turn to face Billy and rip off his clothes. “That’s my girl,” Billy chuckled as he helped you take off his clothes and the remaining of yours.

Billy lowered himself to his knees and threw one of your legs over his shoulders, but you stopped him before he could get started. “No, I need you inside of me,” you ordered him.

“Someone’s impatient,” Billy smirked, standing up to his full height.

“Stop playing around or I’ll go find someone else to finish the job.”

Billy’s whole face darkened, he lifted your leg around your waist and entered you roughly. Both of you moaned in ecstasy. Both enjoying the familiar feeling of each other.

“Feels like my words did the trick. I didn’t even get to taste my favorite meal, because you’re so fucking wet already.” Billy whispered, not moving one inch since he entered you.

To motivate him, you slapped Billy across the face. “I swear to God, Russo if you don’t start moving, I’m gonna—oh shit,” your eyes rolled to your back of your head as Billy pulled out and pushed back in.

Yours and his moans plus the sound of skin slapping together were basically pornographic. Billy was right, he knew exactly how to make you feel on top of the world.

“I’m close, baby. Are you?” Billy asked, moving all your hair to one side so he could kiss the side of your neck. Somehow you managed to tell him yes and he let out a growl of approval.

“I’m gonna bust all in you. You hear me?” Billy yanked back your hair. “I’m gonna fill you with my seed and hope to see you round with my baby. Whether I end up dead or alive, either way I’m getting you pregnant tonight.”

His words shouldn’t have turned you on, but they did. You shouldn’t even be having sex with him right now but fucking Billy Russo could have almost anything he wanted especially when he was deep in your guts.

Billy’s pace fastened, causing both of you to erupt against each other. Both of your bodies were covered in the light sheen of sweat, but neither of you made the effort to clean up. In fact, you snuggled into him, drifting off to sleep, not knowing the shit show you would awake to later.

When you woke up, you were tied to a carousel, Dinah was lying on the ground with a gun shot wound to the head, and Billy and Frank were beating each other to death.

Neither man had the upper hand, they were too evenly matched for each other. “Guys, please stop!” Your throat was harsh, but you managed to scream at them.

It took a couple of more screams for them to finally pay attention to you.

“Sweetheart, you good? Did he hurt you?” Frank asked, oblivious to Billy planning to attack him. Billy managed his sneak attack on Frank and he finally got the upper hand. Your heart dropped. It looked like Frank was going to die, because you were a distraction.

You were in such a frenzy that you didn’t notice you broke the zip ties until you fell from the carousel.

In the nick of time, you were able to cover your body over Frank’s, halting Billy’s assault.

“Get out the way, Y/N!” Billy ordered you.

Shaking your head, no, you pleaded with him. “Please stop.”

Billy rolled his tongue around like he always does when he’s pissed. “Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Do you love him?” He hissed.

“Yes,” you uttered, knowing it would break Billy’s heart.

“Do you love him more than me?”

“I..I…I don’t know.”

Sheathing his knife, he bent down, gripped the sides of your face and gave you a bruising kiss. You couldn’t tell if the kiss was meant for pleasure or punishment, or maybe both.

“Well, we’re about to find out.” He pushed off of his heels and cocked his gun. “Choose.”

“What?” You questioned, obviously confused.

Frank finally spoke up from under you. “Bill, you piece of shit. Don’t you do this to her!”

Billy was unfazed and instead of pointing the gun at Frank, he pointed it to Dinah. “Choose or she won’t even get the chance to survive the first shot.”

Frantically, you looked between both Frank and Billy. Each man so different but so similar at the same time and both had a vise grip on your heart.

“Frank,” you whispered with your head hanging down. “I choose Frank.”

If he wasn’t bleeding, you would’ve been able to see the red flushing Billy’s face.

He nodded his head as if he understood. “You always make things difficult. That’s ok, it’ll be just like when we first started dating.”

Expert marksmanship was Billy’s thing, so he always had a shot at Frank despite you covering his body. When the shot went off, you got clipped in the shoulder.

That moment set something off in Frank and he had renewed energy. Just like when Rawlins cut you, he was an animal. He attacked Billy so ferociously, you thought Billy was dead. But Frank shocked you, he told Billy he’ll leave him alive. The only thing that worried you was would it have been better just to kill Billy after the state Frank left him in.

—

Things were as good as they were gonna get. David was back with his family, Billy was locked up and hospitalized, Dinah was alive, and the CIA and DHS decided to leave Frank alone, letting him live his life.

Currently, you were waiting on Frank to go to David’s house for dinner with his family.

“Hey, Frank you almost ready?” You asked, putting on your earrings.

Frank came out of your guest room with a big duffel bag and a face full of regret.

Nodding to yourself to stop from crying, you asked the question you already knew the answer to. “You’re not going, are you?”

Sticking his hands in his pockets, Frank looked off to the side before returning his gaze to you. “Yeah.”

Walking over to him, you stuck your hands in his back pockets and gave him your irresistible puppy dog face. “There’s no way I can make you stay?”

Frank shook his head at you. He had to be strong or otherwise you would have him wrapped around your finger. Who’s he kidding? He’s probably already is. “You’re dangerous. You know that, sweetheart?”

Flipping your hair, you smiled up at him. “Duh. I kick ass on the daily.”

“That’s true, but you can really bring a man to his knees with just those beautiful eyes of yours. So, stop giving me those puppy dog eyes, or I’ll never leave you alone.”

Since, your innocent act wouldn’t work you decided to be a bit more devilish. This time you snaked your arms around Frank’s neck, brought your face closer to his and whispered into his ear. “You sure you can’t stay? At least for dinner?” You asked, licking the shell of his ear before tugging it in your mouth.

Grabbing handful of your ass, Frank pulled you closer to him and growled in your ear. “Don’t go poking the bear.”

“Or what,” you threw back, smirking up at him.

Frank shoved you against the nearest wall to kiss you and fondle your body. The way he was kissing you was almost like he was marking his territory, making it impossible for you to think about any other man.

His hands drifted to the inside of your jeans, where he pushed your panties to the side to insert two of his digits inside of you.

“Frankkkk,” you whimpered, digging your fingers in his shoulders. Those two fingers alone were stretching you out almost making you feel full. You couldn’t imagine how it would feel to get the real deal.

“Hey, open your eyes. I want to see them when I make you cum.” Frank rasped against your ear, making you even wetter than before.

Frank sped up his fingers and used his thumb to massage your clit. He loved how you quivered against him, knowing he was the cause of it. He loved your little moans that made him harder. He loved how hard you were digging into his shoulders that he knew would cause bruises. All of it he loved because he loved you.

He felt you contract around his fingers and he was in a dilemma. Desperately, he wanted to observe you fall apart against him, but he also wanted to draw it out, because this was the last time he planned on seeing you.

“Baby, please,” you begged Frank. Hearing you beg, undid Frank and at that moment he decided to finish you off.

Curling his thick fingers without changing his pace, Frank hit your g-spot, making you cum so hard you saw white spots.

Frank muffled your moans with his lips on yours. The way he was kissing you made you already wanting to start round two when you barely made it through the first round.

You whimpered when he slipped his fingers out of you and into his mouth. Unwrapping your arms from around his neck, you tried to stand on your own, but you stumbled a bit. “You okay, sweetheart?” Frank chuckled while checking on you.

When you shook your head yes, he reached down to pick up his duffel bag. “Still leaving huh?” You asked trying to keep the disappointment out.

“It’s better this way. Gives you a chance at a normal lifestyle.” Frank explained to you.

“What if I don’t want normal,” you countered.

Frank smirked at you before pulling you back into him. “You deserve it after all this bullshit, sweetheart. Go find an accountant or some stockbroker. Anyone who’s not like me or Billy.”

Pouting, you playfully hit his shoulder. “But I like my men a little murderous,” you whined.

Frank couldn’t help but shake his head and laugh. He was gonna miss that humor of yours. “I’m serious, Y/N.”

“I’m serious too! What the hell am I gonna do with a stockbroker? I’m gonna be like: ‘Oh what did I do? I beat the shit out of my client’s abusive husband. So, how was your day?’”

“You can’t beat the shit out of those assholes if you’re on the run with me. You gotta stay here help people out. It’s your calling.” It hurt to admit it, but Frank was right. The way Frank loved being a marine was the same way you loved helping out people.

Accepting defeat, you hugged Frank tightly, taking in his scent, committing it to memory. “I love you, Frank Castle.”

Slightly, pulling away from you Frank cupped your face as if he was holding precious cargo and kiss the corner of your lips. “I love you too.”

Just for a couple of seconds both of you stood there silently, getting your fill of each other for the last time. Frank was the one that broke contact first when he reached for the door. “Take care of yourself Y/N.” He advised, right before walking out the door.

After Frank left, you locked the door and slid to the ground, allowing yourself to finally let the tears fall. In a span of a couple of months you were in love with two men, one who was responsible for the deaths of the other’s family, and in a matter of days both were out of your life.

@twistedcharismaaa @titty-teetee @guccicloudz @gollyderek @harrysthiccthighss @angievii @gabytodd @frantic-realm @mmabodybuilder @breanime @veryfastspeedz @mbaku-babygirl @crushed-pink-petals @music-geek19 @voluptuouspelko

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wincestismyguiltypleasure · 4 years

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Amber, I'm kind of obsessed with casino owner!Jensen and his pet. And how angry Jensen's gonna be when the new security guard Chad tries to 'rescue' Jared. And how Jared plays along with Chad, because he kinda wants to see what Jensen does and the guy's hot so it's fun. And how Jared's punished when Jensen finds out just how far he let things get with Chad, especially when Jared says "Well, if you'd fuck me more often maybe I wouldn't look for toys to play with while you're busy." (bad puppy!)

KELLY!! THIS IS WHAT I'M HERE FOR!!

If there's one thing Jared knows with complete certainty, it's that Jensen Ross Ackles is a possessive, vendictive son of a bitch. He does not share, and he does not take kindly to anyone putting their hands on what he considered his. Which is precisely why Jared was willing to bet his teeth that Jensen would go absolutely ballistic once he knew about Chad and the dark purple hickeys that he'd left all over Jared's, temporarily uncollared, neck.

But his dirty little secret was out in the open now, and Jensen hadn't so much as batted an eyelash. The casino owner's inate ability to foil him at every turn serving as painful reminder why Jared had quit gambling in the first place.

"You're right, Jared," Jensen says, taking a small step forward. Then another. Jared's blood pressure raising higher and higher the closer he got.

Of course, his first instinct was to reach out for Jensen, beg him for forgiveness, and keep his fingers crossed that he'd be able to sit down tomorrow morning. But that wasn't an option because Jared's pride had been hurt this time, and not in the break you down and make you beg for filthy things kind of way either. No, his Dom's reaction, or lack thereof, had made him feel unwanted. Like Jensen could care less who used his body just as long as Jared came crawling back to him after they were done.

So when Jensen reaches out, warm palm cupping his cheek tenderly, Jared resists the overwhelming urge he has to lean in and nuzzle against it. He'd be damned if he was going to let Jensen win that easily.

"You're absolutely right."

The rough pad of Jensen's thumb brushes over Jared's parted lips in a soothing manner. And even when Jared nips at him playfully, because he's desperate to get a rise out of his Dom, Jensen doesn't flinch. No signs of frustration darken his handsome features, or anger giving his hands a slight tremor. He just stands there in front of Jared, staring thoughtfully into those wide, innocent eyes.

It's intense, to say the least. But then again, intense was practically Jensen's middle name.

"I am?"

Jared blinks nervously a few times, clearly confused but Jensen doesn't give anything away. He just pats Jared's cheek softly and continues. "Mmhm. I really have been working too much lately."

Panic swells in Jared's chest, thick and suffocating, when he sees Jensen's lips twist upward into cruel smile. Realization hitting him full force in the gut like a freight train, and just like that, Jared finds himself whimpering in Jensen's embrace. The hot tears welling up in the corners of his eyes reminiscent of the first time that Jensen had caught Jared breaking the rules.

"Hey." Jared's chin is pinched between Jensen thumb and index finger before he can even blink. Grip tight enough to bruise as he forces the younger man to look him in the eyes. And right then Jared thinks damn, this is it. The moment that his Dom cuts the lovey dovey bullshit and puts him on his knees.

That's why when Jensen presses a soft kiss to his cheek instead of landing a cruel backhand, Jared is at a total loss. His bulletproof way of getting what he wanted from Jensen shattering all around him like jagged shards of broken glass.

"Don't pout, Jare. Tonight, I'm all yours."

"O-okay," Jared concedes, trying desperately to swallow down some of the acidic bile rising up in his throat. Barely managing a slight nod of agreement before Jensen turned on his heels and dissapeared, leaving Jared in his bedroom half-hard and shaking. The younger man not quite sure if Mr. Ackles had just made a threat or a promise.

---------

When Jensen calls him to the living room later that night, Jared gets his answer. It had been both a threat, and a promise.

"Ah, there's my boy," Jensen purrs, tracking every one of Jared's cautious movements with a predatory gaze. And suddenly, standing there in just a thin pair of light grey boxers, at his Dom's request of course, Jared feels more vulnerable and exposed than he has in over two years.

"Wh-what's going on?"

Jared takes a hesitant step forward, tearing his eyes away from Jensen with more difficulty than he'd like to admit to focus them on the blonde motionless heap just visible past Jensen's broad frame. A surprised gasp ripped from his lungs when Jared studies it a little closer and suddenly recognizes that longing gaze.

"I know I said we were going to have some alone time tonight, sweetheart," Jensen says, soft and apologetic. Yet still managing to look every bit like the pissed off alpha male that he was standing there in his navy blue Armani suit, clearly ready to do some serious damage. To Chad's vital organs or his ass, Jared wasn't quite sure. "But Mr. Murray just seemed so lonely out there on the casino floor. Hope you don't mind that I invited him over."

Behind Jensen, Chad's bright blue eyes were boring into the back of his boss' head with murderous intent. And Jared could tell by the state of his disheveled clothes and the fresh cut oozing blood above Chad's right eye, that he'd been thrown onto Jensen's couch rather than seated there. Hands bound behind him tightly with what Jared could only imagine was rope or a zip-tie. The single strip of silver duct tape secured across his mouth clearly the only thing keeping Chad's temper at bay.

"Jen-" Jared began, making a move toward Chad only to he stopped dead in his track when Jensen raised his finger. Those gorgeous green eyes buring bright with rage as he pointed to the ground, slow and deliberate.

"Sit."

Jared hears Chad make a wounded sound when he falls to his knees without question. His palms automatically resting flat on top of his bare thighs as he leaned back on his heels, head bowed in submission.

"Good boy."

Jensen's voice is smooth as honey. His words of praise drizzling down Jared's spine, warm and sticky-sweet, soothing him. And by the time Jensen had closed the gap between them, Jared's shoulders were relaxed. The last bit of tension draining from his body completely when Jensen reached out to scratch behind his ear.

"Very good, pet."

Jared hums his acknowledgement but he doesn't dare move. Because despite Jensen's words of affection and his gentle touch, Jared knows his Dom is one wrong move away from completely snapping.

Bending the rules now would only make things worse. And Jared is absolutely positive that neither he or Chad could handle that.

"Baby," Jensen coos, running his fingers gently through his pet's sweaty hair when he notices the pained expression on Jared's face. "I need you to talk to me."

Communication, this was good. This was something they'd learned together over the course of the death-defying rollercoaster ride that was their relationship. And it was definitely a relief to know that Jensen's finger was on the guard of the gun and not the tigger, so to speak.

"C'mon, Jare."

Jared takes a ragged breath and nods, daring to steal another glance at Chad before he looked up at Jensen, body trembling.

Outside he could hear the rain staring to pick up, thunder rumbling low and eerie in the distance but still, it was nothing compared to the storm raging in his Dom's eyes. So much for thinking Jensen didn't care.

"I'm worried about...him," Jared says, voice cracking. He makes sure to put an emphasis on the word "him" because Lord knows if Jensen had heard the guard's name come out of Jared's mouth, that there'd be six, not seven, bullets in the magazine of the Colt .45 Jensen kept tucked in his waistband and blood splatter all over his pristine white walls.

"Aw," Jensen mocks, eyes pitch black and full of venom. Clearly not giving a shit that he sounded petty. "Is my sweet puppy worried about his dumb little toy?"

A hard yank on his hair makes Jared lean up on his knees, whining. Chad's eyes growing wide with concern when Jensen's free hand found Jared's throat and squeezed. "Well, rest easy baby. I'm not going to kill this useless waste of space...Unless," Jensen pauses, tilting his head to the side like he's weighing his options. "Unless you want me to?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Jared can see Chad squirming a little, sad and helpless, and he hates himself for even considering Jensen's proposal. God, he wasn't this person. Or at least he'd convinced himself that he wasn't.

Before Jensen it was so much easier to ignore the darkness that had been gnawing at his insides for what felt like eons. But then this gorgeous, sadistic bastard came into his life, an unstoppable force, pushing Jared's boundries and offering him things that Jared would've NEVER asked for on his own. It was too much, and he wanted it all.

And yeah, the idea of Jensen bathed in the blood of a man who dared to put his hands on Jared was a (huge) turn on, but he can't do this, not to someone with a good heart like Chad.

"Jensen, please."

Jared's throat is dry, his voice raspy and broken as he reaches up to grab his Dom's wrist. "I'm so sorry. Just- punish me and let him go. This is all my fault." And it really is. Jared was never interested in Chad, at least not in the way he'd let the guard believe. Sure, they'd some fun, but it had all been a desperate attempt by Jared to get Jensen's attention. Everything Jared did, every time he acted out or pouted, it was all because he craved seeing that look in his Dom's eyes. This had always been about Jensen, and if he hadn't pretended that it wasn't, Jared knows now that he would've gotten everything that he wanted.

"That's very noble of you, baby." The older man digs his nails into Jared's sore skin as he hauls him up from the floor. There's a hint of amusement on Jensen's face now, standing there nose to nose with Jared. And somehow, this wild eyed, unstable version of his Dom terrifies Jared more than the cold, calculated one. "But I assure, I don't plan to hurt Mr. Murray. Well," Jensen stops short with a sly smirk before correcting himself, "you know what I mean."

"But I thought-" Jared's eyes dart from Jensen to Chad and back again, eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

"I know what you thought, Jare. I know everything that goes on in this pretty head." Jensen interjects, tapping his index finger lightly against Jared's temple. He smiles, bright and toothy, and Jared can feel the color drain from his face. "But believe it or not, Mr. Murray is here on his own volition."

Jared's jaw nearly hits the ground when he registers his Dom's words, teary gaze now focused on Chad who looks extremely apologetic and twice as embarrassed.

"The restraints?" Jensen is standing behind Jared now. He can feel the buttons on Jensen's dress shirt digging into his back, strong hands settling possessively on his hips, pulling him closer. "Just a precaution," Jensen explains, pressing a hot kiss to Jared's neck that makes him shiver. "In case he decided that he wanted to play the hero again."

Jared feels white-hot pain, sharp and intoxicating, twisting up his spine when Jensen bites down on one of the raw hickeys that Chad had left on his throat. Toes curling against the carpet as his dick throbs, dribbling pre-cum all over his boxers, head starting to spin. God, Jared doesn't think he's ever been this hard before in his life and it hurts so fucking good.

"Wh-what are you gonna do now?" Jared dares to ask while Jensen nibbles at his throat. Clearly trying to cover up Chad's handy work with a possessive mark of his own. And Jared's hand is trembling when he reaches up blindly, cupping the back of Jensen's head in his palm to bring him closer. Because fuck it. He'd already broken every rule in the book and he was still breathing, so why stop now?

"First," Jensen growls, delivering a sharp smack to Jared's outer thigh that immediately makes the younger man drop his arm. A half choked groan spilling from Jared's lips when his Dom suddenly flips him around so that they are face to face again. "I'm gonna spank your ass purple."

Jensen hands are warm and rough as they slid down Jared's sides, claiming every inch of smooth, tanned skin along the way. "And when you're so sore that you can barely think, begging for me to stop," he adds darkly, hands settle on Jared's ass. Fingers groping and kneading at the meaty flesh before Jensen pulls his ass cheeks apart, hold tight enough to make Jared whine and buck his hips. "I'm going to bend you over the coffee table and fuck you within an inch of your life. And I'm not going to stop until the only word that you can remember is my name and you're drooling all over Mr. Murray's cheap shoes."

Behind them, Chad is fighting against his restraints, mumbling something Jared can't quite make out but he's sure it's along the lines of "fuck you."

"And when you think you can't take any more," Jensen continues, completely ignoring Chad's temper tantrum, "I'm going to throw you over my shoulder, take you to the bedroom, and do it all again."

Jared's knees almost buckle when Jensen leans in to rub their noses together playfully. His lips ghosting over Jared's, so close and warm, daring his sub to close the gap between them and take what he wants without permission. But Jared's learned his lesson. Stays put even though he's dying to taste the jealousy on Jensen's lips.

"Can I wear my collar then?" He asks, soft and hopeful, pretty eyes locked with Jensen's.

"Of course you can, baby. I'm never going to let you leave the house without it on again."

Jared almost cries tears of joy when he hears the wicked tone in his Dom's voice. A sick part of him wishing that Jensen wouldn't even let him leave the house until he made sure Jared knew just who he belonged to.

"Thank you, Mr. Ackles."

"You're welcome, pet."

Jared feels a bit unsteady when Jensen steps back to take him in. His dark, hungry eyes giving Jared such a thorough once over that it makes the younger man's cheeks heat up with blush. He wants Jensen so bad right now that he can barely breathe. His need to be touched, to be controlled by the only man who knew how to handle him, hitting Jared like a sucker punch. He was so turned on now that it was causing him physical pain, and to make matters worse, Jared knew he had a long, torturous night of begging ahead of him before his Dom would even consider do anything about it.

"Oh, and don't worry Mr. Murray," Jensen says suddenly, looking over Jared's shoulder to address Chad directly for the first time that night, "If you sit still and behave, I'll make sure to leave the bedroom door open so you can hear my puppy scream."

Fuck, maybe Jared's plan had worked after all.

#Kelly I love this au with my whole heart 💕💕#J2 #casino owner!jensen #card counter!jared #dom!Jensen #sub!Jared #guard!Chad #this got out of hand lmfao #long post

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lukasthemedic · 3 years

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Tactical Love

Part 1 - Day Zero

"F. Barron" A man in uniform calls out, beckoning you forward from your position in the rows of chairs. Down the line, you are handed uniforms, bedding, materials, even your pistol -- and the feeling in your stomach begins to turn into a fire of determination. Once everyone has been in the line, they take all of your fellow training team and sort you into dormitory style rooms where you have been given five minutes to get your exercise uniform on to begin the first round of testing processes.

Oddly enough, your roommate is one of your first and best friends from elementary school on. He had moved to Hawaii from California where you guys spend high school together when his parents were moved for their jobs in the FBI. You can't help but think that they maybe had some role in this, the two of you getting to stick together after all of these years, but you couldn't be more thankful to have a familiar face to help you along the way, especially friends who know each other so well.

"Come on man, let's so crush this shit." Tucker pulls his shirt down over his head, throwing an arm over your shoulder like you guys were back on the field together in high school. You both pull weighted vests on and strap your gun to your side, taking in a deep breath to steady yourself.

Sweat beads down the side of your face as you drench yourself in more water, realizing the last portion of the testing is just the mile and a half run. The gun fires and everyone begins the last stretch in the first day of training, no one leaving anyone else behind. You feel yourself huff, trying to maintain a steady pace the further along the course you move. The sun is blocked by clouds, small drops of rain beginning to form from the sky, hitting you in the face as you concentrate on the last stretch of the run, wiping the water from your sight as you continue on. Though it's behind dense clouds, the sun is still fierce with it's unforgiving heat that parades down over the faces of all the runners. A whistle blown as each runner crosses the lines is also marked by one of the trainers on the white paper attached to each runner, presenting the passing times on everyone so far. A pale and sweaty Tucker swats your back as he crosses the line after you, tossing water all over himself and clapping with pure enjoyment.

"Nice form." A deep voice, sweet like honey says, his breath hitting you in the forehead as you watch his toned arm write something against your chest. You finally allow yourself a second to steal a look at the familiar voice, realizing at once where you know it from as soon as your eyes clash upon meeting. A wicked grin spreads slowly across his face, carefully watching you.

____

His smile shows perfect rows of pearly white teeth, his scent of faint gunpowder and driftwood, there's something about him that you just can't pin into place. You're trying your best to be concealed, considering you start your Special Agent training tomorrow at five in the morning, and drinking in the bar the night before might not be the best place for anyone to find you, especially with such strict terms attached to everything.

"So what brings you to this area?" He asks, sloshing around the remainder of his drink in the glass, and gently setting it on the table between the two of you.

"Business." You say, clearing your throat, but still unable to completely take your eyes off of the stranger, his glance held with the darkness of your eyes.

"You're all business, aren't you Fletcher." He hums to himself, glancing between you and his glass. "Do you want to take a break?" His head cocks to the side, pure curiosity enveloping his face in a careful smile. You nod your head, feeling yourself lean over the table as Maddox does the same, pulling your chin into his hand, his lips meet yours and you feel yourself melt into him. He laughs into your mouth, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Let me give you a break." He moans hastily into your mouth and you feel short of breath. You taste him and you crave more, following his trailing hand from the crowd as you watch him take you behind him as he weaves in and out of people all around. He's all you can focus on.

____

"Miss me, Fletcher?" Maddox mumbles, intoxicating you with his proximity. Your breath catches in your throat and you feel his soft laugh vibrate around you. "You really are here on business, aren't you."

"Yes, sir." You say, staying level headed. You remember the feeling of his strong hand on your face and you keep your eyes directly under his stare. You remember how he felt under you, how he cried out your name. He didn't seem to be someone you could easily peg for working for the FBI, but then again anyone could probably say the same for you and here we are.

"Because I miss you." He growls softly under his breath, grabbing your arm on the way past you, giving it a squeeze before moving on to the next runner to be labeled.

"What the fuck was that?" Tucker says behind you, looking off into the direction that Maddox was, sticking his hands up in the air to mimic the trainer off in the distance. He growls at you playfully, rolling his eyes. "Do I even want to know how this happened?" He chuckles dryly, looking over to you.

"No, you don't." You say, running a hand through your hair, sweat pressing along the back of your head but your heart racing in your chest makes you think this is more due to Maddox and his superiority over you and less of the run you just finished. "You wouldn't believe me if I tried." You groan, tossing your face into your hands and taking in a sharp breath.

"Okay, try me." Tucker plainly says, crossing his arms. He gives a disapproving look, waiting for you to come up with something.

"Alright, fine. Listen, I couldn't sleep last night before we went out for breakfast after you called when your plane landed. Our Facetime with your parents about the training psyched me out. So I went out, I just wanted to catch some air. I ended up at some bar on fifth street and he was there. We talked, we hung out, and it was weird. He's so much warmer than I expected from someone who was going to be my fucking instructor for the most important part of my career to date." You shrug, defeated with the situation, and you hear Tucker trying to hold together a snort next to you, clearly enjoying this more than you are.

"It's worse if it was good, you know." He raises an eyebrow to you and you shove him further from you. "When you won't be able to deny him, always watching you sweat, waiting for a mistake." He whispers in your ear, trailing off with a laugh.

"Shut up, I don't need your bullshit right now, T." You scoff, wiping sweat from your brow as you take another drink of the water you've been assaulting in your fist the majority of the conversation. "This can't be happening, not to me."

"Oh but it is, my friend." Tucker kicks at the dirt on the ground around you as you glare against the sun in your face as more clouds move before the storm hits.

"I'll be back." You grumble, taking off before he can say anything else.

You make your way to the first building you come up on and swiftly navigate halls as you search for a bathroom, your stomach churning. Jumping up stairs two at a time, you make your way to the top and take a hard left, coming chest first into someone else. An arm straightens out in front of you, blocking you from moving as you back up a couple inches to look up.

"Maddox." You breathe out, watching him steady you against the wall. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." You stutter, clearing your throat as he gives you a once over.

"I'm not sorry. You're sorry?" He says critically, glancing down the hall in search of occupants. You shake your head, biting down against your lip as you feel him staring at you.

"No, I'm not. I'm not sorry." You breathe him in, longing to be back in bed with him, wrapped up together. Before he was your boss. His familiarity safe, but somehow something else lingered there too, a little bit of fear, you think. Maybe something about ruining the only job you've ever been interested in because of some new guy. Just some guy. Not, the guy. The one that you met without knowing your lines would cross in more than one way, that you felt something for immediately and now you're stuck trying to figure out how to piece this part of your life together. Yeah, no. Definitely not that guy.

He must feel something you feel and he pulls you aside into an office that he quickly locks behind the both of you, leaning against a large mahogany desk, scattered with ordered piles of paper, photos, and various other objects. "Hey." He leans into you, running a hand against your sweat soaked chest. "You okay?" He says, his lips pressing gently against yours as he comes back ever so slightly to watch you, his eyes gentle. The same warmth you saw when you first met.

"I don't want to get reprimanded, I can't lose this." You say, searching his eyes for something, for anything. He smiles, kissing you softly against the neck, humming. He breathes in, tracing the side of your jaw with his tongue.

"I promise, I won't let that happen. I can't lose you." He pleads with you, his facial features softening. "You're so special, Fletcher. That's why you're here, you know it." He says, kissing against your neck and you finally relax, turning to face him as he backs you up to the wall. You kiss him back, his hands searching all of your body as he explores every inch of you that he can take in.

He catches you off guard, and swiftly pins you against the wall, his leg between yours, putting you flush against the paint you breathe in, a gasp escaping your throat. "Welcome to training, Agent." He grabs your wrist in his hands, laughing against the back of your neck as he gives you one last kiss before heading out the door of his office, leaving you dizzy and out of breath. You straighten your shirt and walk down the hall opposite of where Maddox was headed.

You finally hunt down the door to your dorm again and find a napping Tucker. You quietly shut the door behind you and grab your things to shower. Your body loses it's tenseness the longer you stand under the hot water, your mind replays images of Maddox and you try to shake the thoughts off like the shampoo going down the drain.

The next morning, the sun is safely tucked away behind layers of storms that are passing by, but thankfully it's a classroom day anyway. You spend a great deal of hours looking at different types of evidence photos and crime scene investigation reports. One of the students breaks down as she recalls the murder of her brother thirteen years ago that stemmed her want to join something that could make her feel like she was working for her brothers voice. The group finds comfort in one another as they all give themselves way for a briefing with their friend. The class is something exceptional, that offers a perspective you didn't really think of until now. After a lunch worth skipping, you make your way out under the storm to the range, to begin some firearm training. More than half of the class has yet to have to fire or learn how to properly handle a gun. Though a short period, what feels like an eternity passes, and everyone is hitting right on target as you begin your initial training out here. It feels undeniably great.

Part 2 - Stay

The next few weeks go by undeniably slow, and training hasn't given anyone a break. You can feel yourself, as the others, getting worn out and tense, a leery aggravation atop everyone. They say this period of training is where each person is put to the test, and to themselves. It's a common breaking point where naturally those who aren't able to rise against it will give up, a threshold. You keep telling yourself that it's another hurdle that you just have to make it past, but you can't entirely shake away the shitty attitude that you have. You sit in the diner, dumping a mountain full of sugar into your coffee before dragging yourself to look out at the window. It's rainy, again, but it's the first break anyone has gotten since training started forty-two days ago. Two full days off without having to report, and you intend to use every second of it to catch up on your sleep. Your head rests gently against the table as you close your eyes and smell the cinnamon around you as fresh rolls are made, it's enough to lull you to sleep. The fraction of movement from air hitting your face is enough to bring you to open your eyes and find someone bending down to sit in the booth seat across from you. Your hand nearly hovers over your gun, something that has become natural.

"You look like you could use a good rest." Maddox says softly, taking a drink from his styrofoam to go cup and pulling out his phone to glance at the time before putting it back into his suit pocket. "My place is only an hour from the base, of course, you may recall that." He says, matter of fact. giving you a playful smirk. Your hand relaxes at your side.

"I recall, yeah." You groggily say, peeling your face from the table to take a long drink of your coffee. "You have the sleep number." You scoff, listening to his humble laughter in the background. It's hard to focus your eyes, you feel yourself becoming more tired than you've remembered being in quite some time.

"Come on, you were made for this." Maddox says to you, leaving a 10$ on the table and standing up as he waits for you to do the same. You huff, slowly standing up from your chair and following him from the cafe door to his car. You're too tired to worry if anyone is watching, and doubt you can even cover for yourself with a good enough lie at this point, so you just give up and slink into the warmth of the seat, your eyes melting closed as the soft growl of the air comforts you to relax. You feel his hand slide over to your thigh as he begins to drive, and you gently grip yours on top of his, running your thumb in a circle against his skin.

"I've been looking at your testing numbers." He says, playing with the radio dial, looking for nothing in particular.

"Oh, yeah?" You question, letting out a breath, softly rubbing a hand against your eyes.

"Fletcher, they're high. Maybe you don't understand what I'm saying. Your potential is significant"

You scoff, laughing, but mostly out of how tired you are and how ridiculous this conversation seems. "Alright, Maddox." You grumble, dismissing him and pushing yourself farther down into the seat.

"This is serious, Fletcher. It could put you in real danger in your future, trust me." He says, his driving becoming more swift, faster. You note he seems irritated, but you stare off into the distance, your eyes closing for a second as you start to drift off.

"Whatever." Your effect is flat, glaring over across the seat towards him, who, any other time wouldn't be this aggravating to you. "I don't need any more trouble than I'm already in at this point. I'm not something special."

"Goddamnit Fletcher yes you are, and I'm trying to keep you safe." He says, his tone deepening, his glance towards you quick but searing.

The rest of the ride to his house is quiet. You remember how you felt when you were here that night after the bar. You try to think of anything that seemed out of the ordinary, to be able to place him working with you, but nothing stands out. Your head pounds without a break, and you feel a cold glass press firmly into your hand, the tips of his fingers warm, touching yours.

"Hear, let me take care of you." He releases the glass and you watch him with caution out of the corner of your eye as you down the water. Your mouth immediately feels dry as soon as the glass is empty and he laughs into your neck, taking a deep breath in before he swiftly comes back with the glass again, full of more ice cold water.

"Thank you." You breathe into the glass. He takes his suit jacket off and watches you as he comes in and out of the hall after putting it away. He sets a dish of cat food down on the floor and you hear the jingle of his kitten rounding the corner, meowing gently at him as she rubs against his leg. He runs a finger down her tiny head as she begins to eat her food.

"Come on." He says to you, strong, but not commanding. You limply stand up, taking his hand as he pulls you behind him, a familiar pathway. He pushes you down carefully against his bed, and you fall back into the comfort of the mountain of pillows and comforter. You feel him pull at your boots, taking care to remove each one, before pulling you up to him to discard your clothes. He pulls your chin up to look at him with a finger and he softly presses his lips to yours. He hums, and you can't help but assume he feels the same warmth that you do.

"Sleep, Fletcher." He whispers into your neck as he pulls his blankets to surround you. He lowers his dark black curtains, a fan whirling in the background, and gently closes the door as you feel your eyes close with a heaviness that leaves you more relaxed than you could have imagined.

____

"Get the fuck back down, Fletcher" He slams your face down onto the concrete. "No one told you to move, you little dirty bitch." Someone kicks you in the face, and then the stomach, but you don't cry out. You hold your breath and keep bracing the impacts that come your way. They grab your head by your hair and slam your face into the car door before they throw you into the trunk. When you're awake again you can barely move your body, and your head strings. You hear laughing in the background, and can taste dirt on your face, trying to lift yourself up from the hard, cold ground under you. Instead, you feel your shorts being ripped off of you and you will yourself not to let any noise leave your body as you stay as still as you can, your lip trembling. "I'll always find you." He chuckles, dark and low, making your stomach churn, he slams your face back harder into the ground and you cough, blood trailing down your face as you fight to move with any strength you have left. "You're not getting away that easy, sweetheart." He smashes your head down harder against the cold, smearing your face against the wet grass patches. You feel him hover over you, choking you harder and harder until you feel your eyes roll back, feeling thankful for a moment.

____

You cough, choking as you sit up, gasping and grabbing for anything around you. You feel something moving around you, and you feel strong hands grab around your wrists at the same time that a lamp clicks on next to the bed.

"Fletcher, I've got you, it's me. It's Maddox." He says, hushed in the dark of the room around you. You feel dizzy, and sweaty all at once, overwhelmed with nausea.

"Maddox." You sign out, grabbing onto his arm for comfort, reassurance.

"You're right here." He says, pushing a glass of water into your hand, holding it with you gently. "Here, some water." He mumbles out, pressing his lips against your sweaty neck. Your stomach lurches, you heave, and the glass of water slides out of your hand, smashing all against his floor. In the same motion, he quickly holds a small trash can under your face as you begin to vomit, sweat pouring down your face. He moves your hair plastered with sweat to your face and rubs the back of your neck the more you heave. Tears slowly escape the sides of your face, you look down and shards of glass are stuck in your legs, slowly bleeding down.

"I'm sorry." You softly cry out, wiping sweat that drips down into your eyes, burning. He sets the trash down, scooping you up against his side, swinging your legs atop of his thighs where he holds you as he gently begins to remove the pieces of glass, dropping them in the trash can.

"Please don't be sorry." He plants a warm, reassuring kiss against your forehead, and he begins to remove more shards of glass. "Just let me in, let me be here for you."

You shake your head, snorting at yourself for how childish and weak you must seem. You sign, looking back up to his eyes.

"I have night terrors, or whatever now. Last year, I was assaulted while I was still studying at university. Some guys jumped me by the school and took me out in the middle of nowhere. I never reported it, so they never found out who it was. He said he'd always find me, and I don't have any doubts against that." You say, clearing your throat, composing yourself again.

Maddox grabs your face in his hands, pulling you up against his own, your noses touching. You feel a warm tear run down your face, and he pulls back, watching you. "I will never let anything happen to you again." He wipes his finger against your face, and you realize the tears are his own, you've never had anyone care about you before in your life. "The scar, on your face?" He questions gently, running a hand against it. You nod to him, that's one of many scars that they left you with that night.

"Don't tell anyone about it, okay." You say, your eyes concentrating on the ground, the fear in your voice makes your voice crack, you breathe in, trying to steady yourself.

"I want you." You rub a finger against his lip, pulling it down between your grasp, realizing the feeling overwhelming you right now is something that you haven't felt before meeting him, and each time it rears up even more stronger than before. "Please, Fletcher." He moans, deepening the kiss.

You grab his face in yours, his eyes searching your own intently, sensing each other's desperation. You pull his shirt off over his head, tracing your hand down his muscles, feeling him squirm under your grasp. You bit against his lip, trailing bites from his neck down his stomach. He pulls open a drawer, hastily shoving a lube you remember too well into your hand, as you begin to apply ample amounts of pressure prepping him beneath you.

"God, yes." He hisses, his head leaning back against the bed, while you take in all of him in front of you. He groans as you slide into him, feeling his legs begin to shake under you, you kiss him along the neck and he breathes out against your skin, his hot air trailing against your neck as you wrap yourself up in him. "Fletcher." He pants as you even out speed, beginning to chase your own orgasm, feeling the full of his cock against your stomach each time your momentum soars. You feel him grab you, his fingers digging into your skin as he meets his own release, and your pace picks up, hardly able to contain yourself as he pants under you, regaining back control. You collapse onto him, sweaty, tired, and weak as your mind tries to register your happy feelings with your traumatic past. You lay there for a minute, then he pulls you up with him, careful of the glass around the bed, and brings you to the bathroom. He begins the shower, hot steam wrapping around you, the sounds of sirens in the distance from the window as the city sleeps.

"So domestic." You joke, leaning into him as the water reaches the right temperature. He pulls you into him, and you watch him watching you.

He smiles. "You could say that." He hums into your hair, pulling you closer to him. You're so caught up, you couldn't stop this relationship if you tried. You have fear for knowledge of others finding out, for losing this job that you've worked your whole life to get to, for rejection mostly. But a new fear consumes you as you realize someone you are falling for is in the same dangerous career that you are, and now you feel the fear rising in your throat, it chokes you. You wonder how far you would be willing to go to risk your life for Maddox, and you realize that you'd go a hell of a lot farther than you would for anyone ever.

"Stay with me, Fletcher." He says to you, pleading with his eyes. "Stay with me." He breathes into you.

Part 3 - Partner, Partners

"Best two days of my life. Hands down, all I did was sleep." Tucker stretches next to you as you both walk to the range. You shake your head, rolling your eyes.

"Is sleeping all that you think about?" You pose, more so as an accurate statement over a question with an option to answer.

"I mean, no. Well, yeah okay, pretty much. Sleep is important, or maybe I'm just really lazy." He bends down to retie his boot string after stepping on it and nearly tripping.

"Really lazy." You dryly chuckle. As you stand, watching Tucker take his time, someone rams an elbow into your back as they pass by, and you figure you probably know who it is without having to even look. Elliot Rugger. He's had some problem with you since you've arrived and you can't seem to get down to what you've actually done to him, aside from absolutely nothing.

"Better watch where you go, fairy." He laughs out, looking back behind his shoulder to watch your reaction as he continues to the range entrance.

"What was that?" You scoff, grabbing him by the shoulder as he starts his next step, being pulled back slightly by your force on him.

"Keep your hands off of me." He turns around fully, standing right against you. "As if a priss like you ever would. I knew you were a queer." He makes eye contact with you, sneering and you smirk. You grab him with fistfuls of his shirt pulling him closer to you. "I wouldn't fucking try me if I were in your position, Rugger. I wouldn't touch you if you were the last piece of shit on the planet." You mumble up against his face, willing yourself with everything you have to keep your anger down. The second you let go of his shirt, he comes back around with a right hook to your face. You stumble back, reaching your hand up to touch your nose, busted and bleeding down your shirt.

"You, fucking..." You raise your voice, running at him with full force. You throw your shoulder into his chest and send the two of you going down a small hill near the range entrance. You end up on top of him, and straddle a leg on each side of his abdomen where you're sitting. Holding him down, you slam a fist down onto his face, before you reel your hand back to hit him again. A strong grip forces your hand to stop in its tracks.

"He's not worth it." You hear Tucker saying in your ear, trying to pry you back off of him. "Not worth your career, man. Let him go." He pulls you back as Elliot stumbles to come to a full stand, his face already swelling from your impact. Your breathing becomes more of a hyperventilation, your mind a blur. Your heart races as your memory tries to connect a situation of violence with an attack looming over you. Defense, you needed to defend yourself. You keep telling yourself, trying to regain what you've lost. To come back.

"I fucking knew it." Elliot laughs sadistically, wiping blood away from his lips and spitting on the ground at your boots. You look back to him, a fire in your eyes.

"You don't know shit about me." You lunge at him again, hitting him again and again as he tries to block your fists, someone pulls you back and up by the arms and you come face to face with...

"What in the hell is going on over here, Agents." Maddox grabs for Elliot's shirt sleeve and pulls him over to him after steadying you both on your feet.

"He attacked me." Rugger snarls towards you and Tucker, who quickly stands up to your defense but is interrupted by Maddox.

"More like provocation." Dox says sternly, but quietly to Elliot, raising his eyes to make contact, but not letting go of his grip on him. " Don't let me catch you again, you'll be out of here, and I don't think that's going to make your father very happy to hear from me." Elliot's demeanor completely changes, carefully watching him as he lets go of him, keeping an eye on him until he's inside of the range.

"Tucker, thank you. You can see yourself into the range." He nods to Tucker, who gives a small wave before starting on his way off. "And you, stay." He says to you, glancing at his watch.

"Yes sir, both of you say together." He leaves the two of you, and Maddox doesn't move from where he is until Tucker is at a faraway distance.

"You have a serious attitude problem." He says, matter of fact to you. "But I saw it in your eyes, too. The fear." He says, quieter. "Come with me, let me fix you."

You scoff, running your hand against your nose, trying to clean up some of the blood. "I don't need any help." You say, giving him a sideways look. "I can't be fixed."

"You see what I mean, why are you always trying to be so difficult." He calmly says, and starts to walk off back towards the buildings. He watches over his shoulder as he begins and you reluctantly follow him. "You have to stay level headed, people will always get under your skin if you let them. I know that this, of course, is something different." He treads lightly. "But nonetheless." Maddox trails off, holding the door open as you file in behind him. You slowly make your way back up to the office that you were once in with him, and he closes the door behind you, locking it. He opens cabinets, and withdrawals medical supplies. He runs saline over gauze.

"Sit." He orders, and motions down to a couch in his office. You sit, feeling more calm as Maddox sits next to you, your knees touching. He gently brings the damp gauze up to your nose and careful wipes and daps as he removes the blood. You stare at him, feeling airy under his touch, his hands sending electricity all over your body at the slightest touch.

"I need to talk to you, about...something." He trails off, almost looking like he's carrying around a bit of shame. You look up, his eyes meeting you and you feel a pull of connection, of warmth.

"What's going on?" You say, watching him calmly, his eyes having a mischievous glimmer to them.

He huffs out a slow sigh, then pulls away the gauze from your face and gives you a heartfelt look, but you can't help but also see the dread behind his look. "They're putting you on high profile crime cases. I told you some dangerous stuff could happen with your level of extensive knowledge and elusive ways. There's no telling what kind of stuff you'll be working on, it's an extremely high stress position that they offer. It doesn't happen often."

"What's the catch?" You say, crossing your arms in defense. But Maddox bends down to kneel in front of you and softly kisses your hands in his before standing up and walking over to put a book back on its place on the shelf.

"I don't want you out of my sight. The catch is, it's my team." He says, looking back to you, searching your face for some kind of registered emotion that he is desperate to see. A sly smile forms on your face, and you begin to laugh, out loud. Maddox looks away to the side, biting his lip.

"Wait, you're serious?" You say, the laugh echoes until it leaves the room, and he looks at you as to say if you're done, then he nods.

"You're my partner, technically." He says, his hand tracing against the line of your neck, lingering there for some time.

"I like the sound of that." You say, turning your face deeper into his hand as he holds you there. "But I can't help but feel that you somehow orchestrated this, for us to be together." You question him. He softly shakes his head, letting out a laugh that holds no true humor.

"No, I didn't do this to my advantage. I would never take advantage of you, or manipulate you in any manner. You have this offer based off of the type of agent that you are. I have had few relations in my life, due to the seriousness of my position. I would never purposely jeopardize my career, or yours. I know that this, us, sneaking around and stuff may not be for you, and I understand and respect that. You will still have a spot on my team, regardless of our relationship. Those decisions are completely up to you on your own." He says, very business professional. You can see the confusion spread across his face, and somewhere behind it you can see a softness.

"I want you. I want you more than this." You motion around the room with your hand. "I want you all of the time, not just here and there, for fun. I trust you." You say, swallowing hard, trying to clear your throat from the tightness you feel under his scrutiny. "I can't think of anything else aside from you when you're around, I crave you, Dox." You stand, putting your mouth gently against his, your tongue running over his teeth. You grip his wrists, allowing yourself to completely let go and relax finally. You feel a weight of a thousand pounds lift off of you, your secret out in the air for him, your feelings and your commitment. He laughs hastily into your mouth, running his hand against your back as he pulls you closer to him, you kiss his neck and hear him gasp.

"Dox? I like that." He questions his new given nickname, smiling back at you. As hard as you've tried to keep yourself from falling into this mess, you can't help it. Your connectivity intensifies each time the two of you are together and you can't deny it anymore.

"Now, let's get out to that range. Show me what you've got, partner." He whispers to you, biting gently at your lip before pulling back with a dark laugh.

Part 4 - Out

You look across the range, your boots softly crunching into the dirt below you. Tucker briefly looks up from loading his gun again, offering you a half smile and a shrug at your current condition. You sigh, shrugging back, and load your own ammo as you aim for the target in front of you while the range masters walk behind the class, giving pointers as they watch. You unload your clip, hitting the target each time seconds after the first, and load in another clip as you begin the next round.

"Excellent shots, Fletcher." One of the commanders says as she passes you, looking on to your target. "Everyone, weapons on hold." She yells, looking around as the class puts their guns down and disarms them. "We're going to do something a little different today, but a good effort on your warm ups." She continues, and the group circles around one another. You can see Elliot across the circle from you, glaring intently as you await instructions. His stare doesn't break from you, but you disregard him, shifting your weight from one foot to the next as you receive instructions.

"Everyone will grab a set of gear, you'll have ten minutes to get it on and get back to field 84. Once here, everyone will be given ammunition and weapons, but this time, we're going to paintball." Maddox says, looking down a clipboard as he goes over instructions and marks down his pages simultaneously. "This exercise is to provide team work for those you are working with, as well as to secure your skill sets, and learn how to evade dangerous situations where you will have to work together to avoid being hit, where marks can be taken against your team. There are a number of problematic complications that can quickly arise in this exercise, so be sure to discuss with your team tactics and preparation as you begin, and remain in close contact as you advance. The ideal learning experience is going to show you that with pain, injury, and many stimulations happening at once, that you have to remain vigilant and unwilling to compromise on your skills and understanding as you continue to solve problems. To the left, you'll see the gear laid out, grab your things and be back to field 84 in the ten allotted minutes." Tucker meets you halfway as you begin to grab your things, and smacks a hand against your shoulder, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry about that dickhead." He says, grabbing his own stuff. "I wanted you to beat the shit out of him, but I also want to see you succeed. Fucking prick." He says, looking behind him in the direction of which Elliot is.

"I get it, I need to have better control anyway." You say, walking off towards the direction of the dorms. "He isn't worth it." You grumble, glaring against the sun in your face as small drops of rain begin while clouds crowd overhead, trying to make yourself believe your own words.

"The least he could do is decide to fucking drop out." Tucker says, throwing water on his face as you suit up, feeling the ache finally hit your face from earlier. You touch your hand gently to your nose and feel the warmth followed by the sting as you withdraw your hand.

Once entering field 84, you feel the dread sink in as you look around at the vast space, covered with many obstacles and areas that are around you. Teams are in groups of six, and as you get closer to the board, you see your name in the same group of six. The same group of six with none other than Elliot Rugger. Your stomach drops, as you try and prepare yourself for professionalism.

"Can you believe these assholes are giving us the weekend off?" Tucker whispers to you, looking over the board to find his own name. "Shit..." He trails off, running his hand down to find yours, right above Elliot. You let out a soft huff, but find the rest of your group as the instructors begin going over the rules, determined to not let this interfere with your training.

"This isn't over." A voice trails behind you, but you ignore it, loading your gun, and moving off into another direction as the round starts.

____

By the sixth round, only a handful of people are left from your class. The rest of them line the wall, covered in paint splashes that will later envelope them in large bruises, but all taking away valuable learning skills from the exercise. Beads of sweat run down your face under your coverings, and it stings your nose. Heavily breathing, you keep rounding corners, looking for other players while remaining on high alert. You can only vaguely hear boots gently hitting the ground and your own breathing as you carefully calculate your steps. You are deep into the field when you catch an eerie feeling, stopping short where you are standing, feeling the rain dropping down around you.

"Fletcher." A voice booms from behind you, something hits you in the back and you sharply pull in a breath, your side stinging. You turn around, facing Elliot, who challengingly stands a short distance from you. His gun is pointing directly towards you, and for a minute you're thankful it's only paintball.

"What now?" You scoff, lowering your weapon to your side, looking at him as the rain begins to dance harder around you, turning the dirt under your boots into streams of mud. Thunder rumbles in the distance, the sun becoming blocked by ripples of dark clouds.

"You took my position, I should have been given the top clearance job, and instead I got a Washington job, because everyone thinks you're so damn special. You don't have what it takes like I do." He becomes louder, his voice taking a sharper tone of aggression. But under that, you sense fear. A laugh escapes your lips, your eyes tighten into a thin line.

You hesitate, unsure of what to do next, and realize your mistake almost immediately. Giving him an opening. "What are you talking about?" You question, becoming more assertive. "You didn't get a top clearance job because your'e a fucking mistake." You say, and as the words leave your mouth multiple rounds are fired one after another, so quickly you can't make a move worth taking to get out of his line of continuous fire. Every part of your body is on fire, as you try to determine how to best flee the area, but the hits continue to come from what feels like every direction you turn towards. The shots cloud your mind, and in seconds he crosses his position and stops the rounds, bringing the butt of the gun to your face, slamming it hard into the side of your face, knocking you to the ground. Disoriented, you struggle to catch your breath, unable to stand and coordinate, you try to crawl to put space between you. The ringing in your ears becomes louder, booming so heavily that everything else begins to lose focus as another hit to the same area sears pain into you that you can't fathom you have felt before.

"Drop the weapon, Rugger!" You hear one of your instructors yell, her voice faint against the ringing enveloping you. You groan, putting the effort that you have into army-crawling in the mud away from the attack. "Drop the fucking weapon, agent!"

"Who's the mistake now?" Elliot laughs into your back, pressing your face into the mud with forceful hands. There is a quiet moment where everything suddenly stops, only the rain splashing down onto you as you try to lift your head from the caked mess of blood pooling with the mud, your eyes heavy. The end of his gun rams down hard into the back of your head, dropping it to the ground again, and you lay there quietly unable to move as your eyes gently close.

____

"No, no, no, no. Shit." You hear Tucker stammering, you feel a breath catch in your throat as your face coverings are removed.

Sirens softly blare in the distance, your eyes peel open slowly. You start to feel hands all over you, and you realize that your head is in a lap, Tucker's lap, who is looking down at you, rain dripping from his head onto your face.

"Goddamnit." You hear Maddox sharply exhale in the same moment your eyes track to meet his own, looming over you as his hands quickly move around you. He tears open packages with his teeth, and you feel warm pressure against your head and you arch away from it, still dazed. "Fletcher, don't move." He gently puts a hand against your shoulder, relaxing your body back towards the ground and you focus on your breathing as you start to feel pain covering you, wrapping around you like a blanket. Classmates have circled you like a protective ring, and you realize the hands that you are feeling are all over, working to put more pressure on areas of your face and head. You relax into the pain, determined not to fight it, and taste blood -- coughing as it runs from the corner of your mouth. The sirens are becoming louder, deafening almost.

"I'm fine." You mumble, choking back on the blood that pools into your mouth.

"What's he saying?" Someone frantically puts gauze up to your mouth and you spit against it, trying to clear your mouth.

"Out! Get him out of my program, out of my sight, out of my fucking training zone now!" You can hear Maddox in the background yelling commands, who shoves Elliot up against a wall where other instructors are coming around to spread between meeting with him and with you and your classmates gathered around you. Maddox firmly holds Elliot up against the wall, struggling to keep himself composed, his nostrils flaring as he glares into him watching intently. "Take him up to the main offices, Saloman, Banner, you watch him until I'm back. Get his parents here, too. Emergency meeting, and make sure all of his shit is packed before they get here." He shoves Elliot towards the other instructors, and meets the crew coming out of the ambulance as Elliot is taken off the training field.

____

Your eyes open to a faint beeping, and to dim lights against the ceiling. You groan as you try to lift your head, but compromise to just being able to look slightly to the left where someone is sitting in the chair, intently watching you on the edge of the seat.

"Dox." You huff, relieved. A small smile cracks against the dry edges of your lips, but the smile doesn't get returned from Maddox. His chair scrapes against the floor as he reaches over and puts his hands on top of yours, which were instinctively reaching out for him. You feel vulnerable, but don't try to stop it.

"I'm so sorry I let this happen to you." His voice cracks, he looks away from you for a moment. "That I wasn't there when you needed me." He shakes his head, lacking composure.

"But you are here." You whisper to him, your head pounding, you close your eyes and reach a hand up to touch your throbbing jaw. His warm hand meets yours before you're able to make contact and he strongly holds it as he lowers it back down to the bed.

"Don't." He dryly says, swallowing hard. "Trust me." He grimaces as he softly rubs his hand over your leg resting under the blankets.

"Please, let me see." Your voice doesn't sound like your own as he stares at you for a long moment before he brings a small mirror over. He hesitates as you take it in your hands, holding it up to examine your face. Your entire face is swollen, bloody and bruised. Along your jawline runs a heavy line of stitches holding your skin together. The side of your head shaved as another line of stitches is carefully crafted along the side of your head towards the back of your skull and you can vaguely remember the force that was applied to you before the pain lulled you to sleep. "What happened?" It is your own voice this time that cracks, as a tear escapes and rolls down your cheek as you look back at the monstrous site before you that was once familiar. You grit your teeth together to control the flow of tears that seems determined to escape from your heavy eyes.

"Elliot, I should have known to be watching him closer, this is my fault. He hit you so many times with the paintball gun before Banner was able to get in view of what was going on, I can't even count how many times he was able to make contact. Then, he used the barrel of the gun to make an impact with your face, Banner said you were trying to crawl away..." His voice catches, he clears his throat, adjusting in the chair. "She wasn't able to get to you before he slammed the butt of the gun into the back of your head when you initially finally lost consciousness. I can't fathom what this was like for you, and I'm...I'm so sorry after everything we already talked about that I could let this happen." He stops, standing up and walking over to the window where the sun is starting to peek out from the clouds. His hand is in his pocket, the other bracing himself against the wall. You don't fully take him in until he turns back around and with your memory a little less clouded, looking him over with all of the blood that he's covered in, your blood. "I already, professionally, explained our relationship. Normally, it might seem a little out there for something like this to be so lightly accepted, but I have a strong pull in my professional life, and my teams as well as those above me know that I would not do anything that would willingly put my career at a cross with my personal life. Please know that this changes nothing, but I want others to be aware that I am taking an extended leave with you while you recover, and I hope you stand by my decision. This will not change your position in the academy, along with your position on my team at the end of the academy." He says, matter of fact.

You break into a smile so big your face aches, but you can't help yourself. "You mean, so like, we're actually finally...together together?" You softly question, watching him come back to his chair, nodding with his own cracked smile as he takes a drink of his coffee.

"Together, together." He says, searching your face with his eyes as he gently brings your hand to his face and plants a light kiss on each knuckle. "No hiding, just us." He hums, holding his lips to your last finger for a moment longer than the rest. "They want you to stay at least tonight, to ensure your pain is under control and that no surprises arise in your current state, before willing to discharge you. I know, it's not the sleep number, but to do what is best for you." He says, staying put next to you as a nurse comes in to adjust your medication doses and alleviate some of the tremendous pain that you are in. You finally feel yourself relax as the medications begin to work and a tenseness that you had been holding onto lessens.

"I want to leave now." You say, your voice becoming groggy as your eyelids warmingly close while you battle to keep them open to watch Maddox -- who softly chuckles into your hand that he still had a hold of.

"Is that so?" He hums softly, leaning against the bed. "I think you might want to reconsider, but don't worry, that sleep number will be there when you wake up. Get some rest." He whispers to you, his low, sweet voice lulling you to sleep.

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