#i will infect you all ♥️

[ohraicodoll]

DESPERATELY NEED FERAL READER WITH EP 8 WITH AN INJURED JOEL AND KIDNAPPED ELLIE…….. I KNOW OUR CRAZY QUEEN WOULD KILL EVERYONE ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Yall asked for it lol

Violent Delights Joel Miller x f!Reader The Last of Us 6.7k Words/ 3rd POV Feral Reader Masterlist Summary: They took her kid and she was getting her back. Warning: Graphic depictions of violence and torture

She woke up with a start, having drifted off unknowingly after trying to keep watch, a sense of disorientation as she tried to figure out where she was and what was happening. The basement. They were still in the basement, the cold leeching any warmth from the walls and floors, the haggard breathing of her companion her only company. It’d been over 48 hours since she last slept, since Joel was hurt and they’d had to drag him into the house and patch him up. He wasn’t in good shape. Joel was so close to death’s door, it terrified her. They were so close to losing him and she had never felt more helpless.

She could still hear his pained groans, the glazed and blank look in his eyes, as she put pressure on the bleeding hole in his stomach just a couple days before. “Don’t you dare die, Joel. You still have to make shit up to me and you can’t do that dead. You can’t leave us again.” He’d tried to tell them to leave him. To go back to Tommy’s and leave him behind, the stubborn asshole. But Ellie managed to find the first aid kit and they’d sewn up the hole, wrapping it best they could with the little supplies they had. She knew it wasn’t enough. There could be shards left from the baseball bat, they weren’t the cleanest, nothing was sterile. She didn’t even know if something internal had been damaged. But it was all they could do. They’d been so focused on getting to Colorado they’d been using their food storage rather than hunting over the past week. Now it was biting them in the ass, their supplies dwindled. She’d managed to briefly go out and hunt down a rabbit, but game seemed scarce and leaving meant leaving Ellie and Joel alone. Without Joel, it was hard to sleep, look after Ellie, look after him and keep him stable, look after the fucking horses, and hunt. She was overwhelmed. So sleep went out the window. She took watch when Ellie was asleep, went and tried to hunt and scavenge the nearby houses when she was awake, and kept an eye on Joel in between taking care of the two horses in the garage. But at some point she’d fallen asleep finally, fallen deep and hard enough that she hadn’t noticed Ellie slipping the rifle from her hands and leaving the two adults alone.  A small scribbled note was placed on her lap on a piece of what looked like newspaper, “Be back soon -E.” She scrambled to her feet, looking around and cursed herself. Joel was still breathing steadily but his brow was covered with sweat from the infection he was staving off. Both their packs were against the wall but Ellie’s was gone and the panic that took hold was like a lightning bolt. It stole the breath from her lungs. Ellie was gone, Ellie was gone, Ellie was gone- it was a racing thought that circulated over and over again. Her main purpose, main job, and she’d fucking fallen asleep.

Her heart jumped further at hearing footsteps above her head, the slight creak and shift in the old wood, a door slamming…then it all came out in deep relief as she recognized the light shuffling.

Ellie raced down the steps, cheeks pink from cold and wind, and breath huffing out in a rush as she entered the basement.

She grabbed the girl immediately, shaking her by the shoulders with the vestiges of panic still in her blood, “Where did you go, Ellie? You weren’t supposed to leave!”

The teenager paused, eyes frantic and a little wild, but a tough set to her lips as she shook her head, “I went hunting and you needed sleep! I had to, but look! I got Joel medicine!” Ellie took the bottles out of their wrap, quickly moving away from her and kneeling down to Joel, beginning to lift up his shirt before she could even get a good look at what she had. The wound was ugly and discolored and she could hear him groan at the small touches. Her mind was still caught up in the panic of discovering the girl was gone and she quickly snatched the bottles away before the syringe was inserted. “Where did you get this?” she asked, turning it over in her hands. Penicillin. Two whole bottles of penicillin, practically liquid gold in their world, and Ellie had managed to get it while she slept. The teen looked nervous and tried to snatch it back, but she was quick even if she was exhausted and pulled her hand away, “Please, can we give it to him first and then I’ll explain?” Her eyes were so big for her face, cheeks pink. Her desperation to help Joel was evident. Ellie knew how bad he was doing and believed she held the cure to it all in her hands. She could only sigh and hand it back over, instructing her to give just a fourth of the bottle and to tap the syringe. Joel would probably have a heart attack if he knew she was letting the kid give it to him, but she knew Ellie had to do this herself. It was her win and she had to feel like she was the one saving him so she let her. But then they both stared, her knowledge only getting them that far. “Where the fuck am I suppose to put this?” Ellie cursed, looking at the wound and Joel’s arm, eyes switching between hers and his closed ones, “Fuck, how are we supposed to do this?” She cursed herself. Her medical knowledge was mediocre. Stitching, cleaning wounds, pulling out bullets, the basics they needed. Infections and medicine she had no clue about, “Just give it to him in his stomach. As long as it enters his blood stream, it should be fine.” At least, that’s what she thought. Ellie winced and inserted the needle, Joel giving out pained groans as it sunk into the sensitive area. They both watched the plunger empty the contents and then she pulled it out, trying to clean the needle the best she could. They only had one syringe and would have to reuse it. “And now we wait,” the teen commented and looked at his face as if at any second he would be magically better. He would wake up and smile and tell her good job. But he didn’t, staying silent on the small makeshift bed. “No, now you tell me where you went and how you got that,” she bit out, sitting on the other side of Joel to face her. Ellie winced and looked down at the small glass bottles in her hand, “You needed to sleep and we needed food. I know you think you can take care of all of us, but you can’t and I wanted to help by trying to hunt.” “That’s not your responsibility-” “It doesn’t matter. I wanted to help,” Ellie cut her off but then sighed, “And I did manage to actually get a deer…but I ran into these guys...” Instantly, she was on high alert, eyes searching everything that was visible and checking her for any wounds, “You ran into people and you’re barely telling me!” “I know!” the young girl argued back, hand resting on top of Joel’s, “They found my deer before me and said they were from a group with starving women and children. They offered to trade for half the deer and said they had medicine. I did everything I was supposed to! Got them to drop their guns, unloaded their rifles, and had them back away. One went to get the medicine and I kept the gun on the other.”

“So you gave them half the deer and they gave you the medicine then just let you go?” she asked and clenched and unclenched her fists. Ellie wouldn’t look so nervous if  that was the whole story and she wasn’t nearly tired enough to have been dragging half a deer carcass back. Shrugging, Ellie grimaced and refused to meet her eyes, “That was the deal…but they knew who we were. The people that attacked us at the university belonged to their group and this guy started talking about how one of theirs had been killed by a crazy man with two girls. He knows that was Joel. I don’t know why he let me go, but I think they’re looking for us.” With a curse, she quickly stood, hands on her hips and pacing in a tight circle, “Fuck. Fuck. And they didn’t come after you?”

“No, I think they let me go because I was a kid.” She doubted that. People rarely were that charitable, even to children in this world. Especially a child with a gun and an attitude like Ellie’s. The unspoken words were there though. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t come for her and Joel though. Ellie may be deemed innocent but the two of them were problems and only one of them was in commission currently. But what could they do? They couldn’t move Joel in his state. They couldn’t leave him behind either. They were stuck. “Okay. Maybe if they let you go they don’t plan on coming. Maybe they think both of us are injured if you were out on your own and won’t come,” she lied comfortingly and tried to speak the words into existence, knowing the kid was probably feeling guilty and needed some hope. They needed rest, needed to breathe for a second, and panicking now wouldn’t help.  It took a while to relax enough to let the adrenaline fade away.

Ellie laid down, exhausted, tucking into Joel’s side as she had the past couple nights and resting her head on his shoulder. He subconsciously leaned into her, still alive for now. Her heart ached at the sight, the way they held each other in their own ways. She didn’t have the strength to get after the girl more or uproot them out of precaution. They were all exhausted and Ellie had somehow managed to bring hope even if there was a cost.

She sat down by the stairs, flipped her knife between her fingers to keep her awake and focused, and watched the two sleep with her heart in her throat.

The men would come. Now that they knew they were in the area, they would come and they were stuck in this spot until Joel was better. There was no way they could get him on a horse and move him now without undoing all the healing he’d done. A thousand scenarios went through her head, sleep now a distant memory in the face of the panic and anxiety plaguing her. How was she supposed to fight off a group and keep them both safe?

She couldn’t. That was the reality of the situation.

The thought hit her over and over again like a blow to the chest, the knife turning between her fingers. _________________________________________ Morning came and she could see Ellie’s disappointment that the medicine hadn’t instantly woken Joel up and made him all better. To ease her mind, they gave him another dose, trying to make the bottles last before shoving the remainder in their bags. They were out of food, the rabbit she had caught two days ago long gone without a way to store it. Joel still wasn’t eating or drinking and she worried that even if they got the infection under control, his body wouldn’t be strong enough to get better. Things were bad. The possibility of Joel dying was a constant chime in her head. It felt like a mockery that he had left and came back only to be almost taken from them permanently. She was angry. He wasn’t supposed to be the one that took the hit. It had been meant for her but he’d pushed her out the way as the bat swung, breaking on the tree, and then tackled the guy. If it had been her, Joel would know what to do. He could take care of them both or at least would have the strength to leave her behind if necessary. She wasn’t sure she could. She was failing him. Failing them both. The basement was suffocating, pressing in on her, and she took the opportunity to go tend to the horses, leaving the girl and her unconscious companion to the pressing weight of disappointment. Her body was beginning to ache from the lack of sleep and food, joints protesting her movement, but she reached down and scooped snow into the small metal bucket for them to get some water. Soon the horses would starve too or be too weak to carry them. Death was creeping up on them. Looking over the neighborhood they were held up in, she sighed at the obvious foot steps leading up through the streets before beginning to methodically cover what she could. Ellie knew better than to leave a trail but she guessed in her hurry to get the medicine back to Joel and get away from the men she had forgotten. And as birds took off in a rush further down the road towards the wooded outskirts, she froze and her heart thundered in her ears. 

She felt fear run through her as her thoughts from the night resurfaced and became reality, a living nightmare. They were coming. They had waited for daylight to search them out and were coming now. She knew it, could feel it, and they were out of time. Quickly covering what she could and making false tracks from the other houses, she ran back inside and flew down the stairs to the basement taking two at a time. No time, there was no time.  Ellie startled at her rushed appearance and the way she flew across the room to the rifle and her own pack, “What’s happening?”

“Those men you saw are coming,” she huffed out, grabbing the rifle and checking it was loaded before looking around the room as if she could find the answer there.

Turning to Joel, Ellie began to shake his shoulders as if he were merely sleeping and not borderline in a coma, “Fuck. Joel! You have to wake up, Joel. Joel, wake up! Wake the fuck up, Joel!” But he only gasped, pained whimpers leaving his lips, eyelids fluttering.

She bent down and grabbed Ellie by the shoulders, forcing her to look into her eyes, “Ellie, I need you to listen to me. I need you to take the horse and run.”

“What? No, what about-”

“You run and I’ll follow behind and try to pick them off,” she interrupted, voice adamant, “They’re going to search every house and they will find us eventually. I can’t hold them off like this. I need to know you’re good first and if we’re away from here then it will take the focus off Joel.”

“You want me to go without you?” Ellie’s eyes were wide with fear and her heart ached at the sight, but there was no time.

“I’ll find you,” she promised and dug her fingers tightly into her shoulders as if she could sink the words into her skin, “I will. But you have to go now. We’ll block the entrance to down here, give Joel some time.”

Ellie pressed her lips together and nodded, running to grab her backpack and last minute grabbed one of the larger knives they had. Running back over to Joel, the teen knelt down and placed it on his chest, forcing his hand to grab it. She let her while grabbing the rest of her stuff and placed Joel’s pack into a small cubby under the steps to make it less noticeable.

“Okay, look at me,” Ellie whispered to him while he only groaned in reply, “There are men coming, okay? I’m gonna lead them away from you, Red is going to help get rid of them. But if anybody makes it down here, you fucking kill them. You got it?”

“Ellie, hurry,” she bit out, peeking out the small window along the top of the wall. “Joel, do not fall asleep,” the teenager pleaded desperately, squeezing his hand around the knife. She could see his eyes partially open, see his lips trying to move and his fingers twitching trying to grasp the knife. But Ellie finally got up quickly and rushed up the stairs. She went to follow after her and paused, staring back at the unconscious man on the floor. A part of her whispered that this could be the last time she saw him alive. One or both of them could be dead if this didn’t go right. Heart in her throat, she ran back to him and kneeled, kissing his forehead and grasping his hand. “Stay alive for us, please, Joel,” she whispered, squeezing the hand around the knife, but getting back up and running up the stairs. She tried not to look back. Both of them moved the tall kitchen cabinet over the door entryway to the basement, trying to shuffle things around to not make the spot obvious before heading to the garage. They got both horses out, grabbing what she needed from hers and sending silent apologies to Tommy before forcing it to gallop away in the opposite direction with a sharp smack. The other she saved for Ellie to ride, closing the garage door behind them. They’d figure out transportation later when they were out of this mess, but they needed the guys off their trail and two different horse tracks would help. With quick hands, she helped Ellie climb up onto its back. 

Shakily, she bit out, “You ride hard and fast and loud. They’re going to come after you but if you go fast they won’t catch you and I’ll hit them from behind. They only know for sure about you right now. Do not look back, Ellie. I’ll find you once it’s safe, I promise.” Ellie was shaking but tried to put on a brave face, nodding and holding onto the reins. She wanted to hug the girl, tell her it was going to be okay, but she wouldn’t lie to her. Not now. The men were close, she knew that. She patted the rear of the horse and nodded a final goodbye, beckoning her to go forward. Her heart screamed to not let her go, that it was safer with her than alone, but they were backed into a corner and she had no choice. They wouldn’t win in a shootout and losing meant Ellie would die. So she watched as the girl rode away down the street away from her, turning until she was completely out of sight, and tried not to flinch at the gunshots that came soon after and the yells of men. She tried to shut off the part of her that wanted to panic, to react and worry. That wasn’t the part she needed to listen to at the moment. Running as far as she could, crossing over fences and staying against the walls of the house, she followed the sound of loud hoof beats and chased after them as they chased after Ellie. Her ears caught on one of them screaming that she was to be left alive, but that didn’t ease the worry in her. Being captured alive wasn’t always a good thing. One of the slower men chasing Ellie fell the furthest behind, wheezing in the cold and trying to clamber in the dense snow. Her own knife in hand, she ran and jumped onto his back, using both their weight to send them forward onto his front behind the cover of some of the shrubs. 

He hadn’t been expecting to be attacked from behind and it took him a moment to try and struggle, to lift his face out of the snow to breathe, and she took advantage of that by stabbing deep into the back of his neck. He groaned, the sound muffled, and she pulled the blade out and sunk it in again and again with a growl. The snow was staining red around them. He stopped moving. One down. She stood and took off, the cold biting into her lungs and stealing her breath. The terrain was hard and the one kill had put her farther behind the group, forcing her to cut across more backyards to catch up, but she could only hope Ellie had done what she asked and was out of range. She could catch the rest of them once they scattered. But then a gunshot rang out close by. The sound of a horse’s cry ripped through her, tore her soul to shreds, and she knew if she lived beyond the day she would hear that sound forever in her nightmares.

She ran. She left all care of stealth behind and ran fast and hard, dodging trees and fallen branches and then ran faster when another gun shot rang out. The chest felt like it was being cleaved open by the panic, fear gripping her tightly. They wouldn’t have shot her. They wouldn’t have killed her. She was a kid, they wouldn’t-

And then she watched from the trees as the group surrounded Ellie who was on the ground, her horse unmoving not far away, and a tall skinny man picked her up and began to walk away with her. She raised the rifle, looking down the scope, and cursed as the men separated and began to head back into the neighborhood. No doubt to continue their search for Joel and her.

She could see Ellie’s face through the scope, the loll of her head, but she was gripped too closely to the man’s body. He was walking further and further away. Two sides of her screamed. Leaving to go after them meant abandoning Joel, but staying behind meant leaving Ellie. She wanted to press the trigger, shoot, but knew it was too risky with Ellie in the man’s arms. She could so easily accidentally kill the girl if she was one inch off and her hands were too shaky from exhaustion to be precise. Only some of the group was going back, the others looking like they were continuing to scout the area.

She knew what she had to do, what Joel would tell her to do, but the reality of it felt impossible. If they found Joel, he’d die for sure. But she wasn’t sure she could live with leaving Ellie.

The men with the girl were getting farther away and a choice had to be made.

So she swallowed the sob in her throat and let the rage she felt consume her completely, push her forward, and followed behind the group to where they would take her kid.  __________________________ It was getting harder and harder to follow along as the wind began to kick up a notch. She needed to see where they were taking Ellie, but she was tired and the cold was sinking in, her body struggling to keep going. And as they entered the town, it was getting difficult to avoid being seen. Too many buildings, too many open areas, and she didn’t know who could be watching. She knew they had entered one of the nearby buildings, but wasn’t sure which. The clock was ticking in her mind, Ellie’s life on one hand and Joel’s on the other. What good was she if she couldn’t save her people? Blood crusted on her fingers as she entered the first of the buildings quietly, finding a back entrance. It was dark but she could hear voices nearby as she found herself in some kind of storage room, the cold still reaching her through the walls. She wasn’t used to carrying the rifle. It had always been Joel’s weapon thanks to its weight, her preferring knives or a small pistol or even a bow when she could find one. So when she crouched down to ease her way over to the swinging door leading further inside, she winced when it thudded and scraped against the floor, the sound so loud in her ears. The voices paused and she froze, eyes wide and watching the door. There was shuffling and she quickly backed away into a darkened corner, pulling her knife out. Steps came closer and she held her breath, trying to calm her racing heart. The door swung open and she could see a man enter, beard a little rough and looking a little ragged, cheeks red from the cold. He frowned, looking around, gaze shifting over what he could. He turned to look at the back door, back facing her, and only then did she realize she had tracked snow inside and it hadn’t quite melted. Lunging, she stuck the blade deep into his lower back with all her might and threw her arm around his neck, choking him hard. A cry of pain tried to leave his lips, breath cut off, and he struggled wildly. She twisted the knife, feeling blood coat her hand. “Where is the girl?” she hissed, jerking the blade deeper. He sobbed and made pathetic mewling sounds of pain, voice wispy from lack of air, “Please, I don’t know-” She twisted, hearing the squelch of flesh tearing, “The teenage girl your buddy grabbed, where is she?” The distinct smell of piss lingered in the air and he sobbed out, “I don’t know! Oh god.” Steps were coming close again and she growled, keeping her grip on the knife buried in his body and shifting her arm away from his neck to hold the back of his collar. He wheezed in air, blood starting to bubble from his lips. The door burst open and the distinct sound of a gun rising echoed in the tiny room, only to pause as she held the man in front of her like a shield, mostly hidden by his body. “Howard-” A woman’s voice. All the people who had attacked them had been men. 

She wouldn’t have the information she needed. With a growl of frustration, she shoved the body at her, letting his dead weight hit her and trap the woman against the wall. She let out a startled cry and the delay gave her just enough time to unholster her pistol and shoot her in the head. The numbness that was a twin to her rage had sunk into her skin, blanketing her all over. She’d search the buildings, one by one, and kill whoever she had to to find her kid. She didn’t care. Stepping over the bodies, she moved into the area they had been in before she drew their attention and paused, icy horror filling her. A leg was in the process of being cut apart, small chunks set aside and being wrapped up as if to store for later. It was a kitchen, most likely used to prepare food for stage, large makeshift smokers and pits along the back unused. The ticking clock in her mind sped up as the reality of what she’d uncovered hit her. Cannibals. These people that had taken Ellie were cannibals. A strong hit to her back sent her stumbling forward and clattering to her knees. She grunted and scrambled forward as a stomp missed her, hitting the ground instead. There’d been someone still in the room and she’d been too distracted to notice. 

Rolling onto her back, gun still in her hand, she aimed and managed to shoot the knee out of her assailant as he raised a butcher knife. He crumpled to the ground with a cry and she got to her feet slowly, gun raised and trained on him. 

The guy was younger, but thin and haggard looking. His bravado hadn’t fully left him though as he stared her down, anger in his eyes, “You fucking bitch. You blew out my fucking knee.” He tried to get up but she aimed at his head, making him freeze. “I’ll shoot the other one too if you don’t shut up and tell me where the girl you kidnapped is,” she snarled, adrenaline helping to keep the firearm steady on him. His nose wrinkled and he spit at her, brow furrowed.

Stubborn. Younger guys were so stubborn.

She pulled the trigger and watched his other knee explode as the bullet met his target. The man screamed and she quickly knelt down, shoving her hand over his mouth and placing the still warm barrel against his forehead. Tears leaked out his eyes, making little dirt tracks through the grime on his skin.

“Where the fuck is she?” she screamed into his face and the sound was almost inhuman, gravel and fury warping it almost into a howl.

But he only shook his head, eyes defiant. Frustrated, she stood, looking at the meat cleaver in his hand and the human leg on the table. She didn’t have time for this. Ellie was out there and the situation was worse than she thought. Not even meeting his eyes, she raised the gun and shot him in the head. He wasn’t going to give her any information.

She raced back outside through the back door she had entered, heart in her throat and a panicked scream wanting to leave her lips.

The storm was picking up as an idea hit her. If she searched each building, there was no guarantee she’d find someone with information in time. She had to draw their attention. Maybe lure them out. They had wanted Ellie alive for the moment. If she could distract them, it may buy her time.

Chewing her lip, she kneeled behind the building and swung her pack around to dig through it. Her hand wrapped around a small glass bottle that had been carefully secured in the middle of her clothes and yanked it out along with one of her old shirts. They’d been saving it for emergencies, using it to sterilize what they could, but she needed it for something else now. Her face stung from the cold wind and her hands shook, but she managed to tear cloth and shove it into the liquor bottle, saturating the fabric, before she put her pack back on and stood.

Time to make a big fucking distraction.

Blocking the wind with her hands, she lit a match and watched as the tip of the cloth burned bright with flames.

With a snarl, she tossed the molotov through the window of the next building, ducking down and watching as the flames exploded inside. Screams and shouts followed, telling her there had been people inside, and she waited for more voices to join them. Someone would investigate or come outside.

Like clockwork, a man rushed out into the cold and she gripped her bloody knife at the familiar face. One of the men that had come back with Ellie. He cursed and ran through the snow, yelling that he was going to grab the fire extinguisher next door while the others scrambled to put the flames out. She followed, quiet, lava flowing through her and teeth bared. She couldn’t even feel the cold anymore. 

The wind blocked any sound she made as she rushed after him into the alley and lunged, shoving him into the cold brick wall with a loud crack. She growled and grabbed his hair, gripping it tightly and smashing it into the bricks once then twice. He tried to push away and turn, but she kneed him hard in the spine, driving him to his knees. “Where is the girl?” she snarled into his ear, knife to his throat. Blood poured down an open wound on his forehead, one eye blinded by red, as he finally took in who had grabbed him, “fuck you,” “Wrong answer,” she yanked his hair and slammed it into the wall again. When he went to raise his hand to fight her, she stabbed the blade through his hand and into the ground. His screams were carried away by the wind and snow, the shouts of his group telling her they were still distracted by the fire. “The girl your group grabbed,” the words were all razors and broken glass, almost the sound of an animal snarl, “Where did you take her?” He sneered at her, trying to put on a strong front through the pain, “That bitch is probably soup by now.” She stepped on the knife, the blade so far in his hand the hilt was pressing against the back, “I can make this last a fucking lifetime. Your choice. Where-” “Please, don’t-” Frustrated, she ripped the knife out and placed the tip just inside his mouth, “Last chance. Where is she?” The tip clinked against his teeth and he hung his mouth open to avoid being cut, his beard a mess of blood and spit and green eyes wide with fear finally. She tried not to feel satisfaction as seeing that, understanding setting in for him. He lifted his bloody hand and tried to point across the street, stuttering out, “Steakhouse. The fucking steakhouse. David has her in there.” She looked at him, eye swollen, and blood coating the front of his face, clearly terrified.

Slowly, she took the blade away, watching his lips wobble with sobs and slight relief. Then she slit his throat, continuing to move behind the buildings even as his blood sprayed out and soaked her clothes and his pleas gurgled and quieted.

The steakhouse was a few more buildings down across the street, “Todd’s Steakhouse” still written on the sign out front. The storm was a blizzard now, sharp stinging snow hitting her skin and turning the blood on her into patches of ice. There were yells, panicked screams, and she wondered if they had found the bodies. If they had found the blood and chaos she had left in her wake.

But with a destination in sight, she had let her guard down and she cursed herself later on for it. Arms wrapped around her torso, crushing the rifle into her back, and she kicked at the air as she was dragged back against a brick wall.

“You fucking bitch!” Screamed into her ear and she was tossed to the ground, teeth clattering from the impact.

A kick landed in her stomach and she grunted, the air leaving her lungs, but she had enough sense to grab onto the leg and cling to it. The move caught the man off balance and he tripped, falling to the ground next to her. Her blade was somewhere in the snow and she struggled to dig around for it, sharp steel nicking her fingers as she found it only to be thrown onto her back.

The man climbed on top of her, straddling her waist, his weight so heavy and her pack on her back making the move crushing. She grit her teeth and bucked, thrashing to try and get him off of her. But he only grinned, pulling back and decking her in the face. Stars lit up behind her eyes, a high pitch ringing all she could hear as pain exploded through her head.

He pulled back to punch again and her fingers found the cold metal in the snow. She wrapped her hand around it, feeling the sharp steel cut into her palm as she grabbed it by the blade instead of the hilt, and stabbed it into his lower throat. She didn’t stop, only switching to pull it out by its handle this time, and stabbed again and again, blood reigning down onto her.

With a howl, she shoved him off of her and sent a final stab into his face, snow soaking into her and pain a radiating heat. Everything hurt and it was an effort to get up and roll onto her side, staring at the decimated body next to her. 

She spit blood on him and stood. There was smoke coming from all around her, the fire having caught from the molotov and moving on building to building. Across the way, smoke could be seen from the steakhouse and she swallowed her pain, letting adrenaline carry her to the front doors. Her hands shook as she tried the handles, pulling again and again but they stayed locked and shut. Growling, she threw her shoulder into it. She was so close. She had found the place and was so close and a locked fucking door was all that was keeping her away. Her breathing was quick and frantic as she looked over the front and tried to reason that there had to be a back door or an employee entrance. Her hands skimmed the wall to try and keep upright, knowing soon the exhaustion and pain would take over, but she tried to push it back. Ellie had to be close. She needed to keep going a little bit further and then she’d get her kid and they’d go get Joel. 

Her steps stumbled and she pushed off the wall, screaming at herself to stay steady. There, she could see the back door. Plain and wooden, easy enough to shoot the lock off and get inside. With shaky fingers, she unhooked the rifle from her shoulder, the weight of it almost unbearable, and took two shots to get the lock blown off. Her legs were shaky as she climbed the few steps and opened the door, smoke pouring out. She coughed and tried to wave it away, stepping inside and feeling the heat. She had taken only a few steps into the building and stopped, hearing a familiar voice. “Red?” Relief flooded her, eyes instantly filling with tears, as Ellie emerged from the smoke not too far in front of her. Ellie was there, hair a mess and half tumbling out of her ponytail, blood splattered and smeared all over her face and clothes. It took her a while to realize she was standing there, actually standing there, watching as the girl stumbled forward and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. 

Smoke and fire was all around them, but she couldn’t care because she had Ellie and they were both alive and safe now. With shaky hands, she managed to direct them back out of the building and into the cold, fresh air. Her promise rang in her ears and she whispered them out loud as she clung to the girl, “I found you. I found you. I’ll always find you.” And she had, but not quick enough. She knew that something awful had happened, that Ellie was now one step closer to being what her and Joel were. The tough exterior had crumbled away and all that was left was a shocked girl who’d had a piece of her soul cleaved away. Her nose was busted and she knew that look in her eyes, the horror and pain at doing something ugly but necessary. Ellie’s lips were shaking as she looked her over and she was so focused on the girl she almost didn’t see Joel coming around the corner. Joel, standing and whole and alive, coming towards them like Ellie was a gravity well pulling both of them towards her. His eyes met hers and the relief was bright, even if she was dripping in blood. But Ellie hadn’t noticed the shift in attention, hadn’t heard his steps, and when he went to grab her she bucked and thrashed in his arms in sheer desperation. So much like her, a wild animal fighting not to be caged. Her heart tore apart, shredded to pieces, at the painful screams then broken sobs as she realized who was holding on to her. 

Joel only kept whispering, “It’s me, it’s me, I’m here.” “He- I-” she stuttered, eyes glazed and searching both of theirs. Joel held on with all his might, trying to ease her, gentle words soothing. And the girl crumbled, falling into his arms and clinging to him tightly as much as he was clinging to her. His eyes met hers and she let the exhaustion hit her and carry her towards them, falling to her knees and wrapping her arms around them both. All three of them, blood soaked, finally home with each other.

______________ Feral Reader Taglist: @alouise20 @faceache111

[emjee]

So a couple weeks ago I had an inner ear infection that really screwed with my balance, and somewhere in the days sitting on the sofa being miserable I thought “what if I never get my balance totally back?” and my literal first answer to myself was “you could use a cane and that would look cool as hell”

And I want to say thank you to anyone I follow who has ever posted about disability and mobility aids, because having my first reply to that fairly intense thought be “you would use a tool to make your life easier and you would look good doing it” has so much to do with you all. Thank you thank you thank you ♥️

[nikka-v]

Apocalypse - Joel Miller x fem! Reader smut

Summary: y/n is raised by Bill and Frank and since they found her they always protected her. Then when two guests arrive, she found a herself crushing on the handsome, older man.

Warnings: nsfw, swearing?, smut, first time (p in v), oral (fem! receiving), age gap! (reader is in her 20s), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it guys)

Minors DNI, please!!

Hope you like it and I really hope that there won't be many mistakes because I'm not from English speaking country so the grammar is sometimes a bit complicated ♥️

When you first met Joel you were only a child and you technically did not meet him, you just saw him through your window. Bill did not want Tess or Joel to see you or even know about you even though the second thing quickly happened as Frank told them accidentally.

"Have you met any other people around here?" Tess asked Frank who was the only one mainly talking. Bill was his usual self, sitting quietly and carefully watching the two newcomers while slowly drinking his glass of wine.

“Except y/n no. Not even any raiders actually." firstly he did not even realize that he talked about you but Bill quickly shot him a displeasing look. He was extremely protective of you even when you were not his kid. He was the one who found you and brought you home to Frank so he felt the need to protect you all the time.

"y/n? Who is that?" Tess was curious, well who would not be in a world like that when the only 'people' you mainly meet are these undead creatures or people who are trying to rob you? Frank looked at Bill as if he was asking for his permission to tell them about you but even if he shook his head it would not make difference as Frank already started talking.

"She is like our daughter. Well, obviously not by blood but we are raising her like that. Bill found her when he went to see one of the towns a few miles away, it was completely burned but he found there some of the infected hoarding around a small wooden cottage. The parents left their kid there to die because they could not handle taking care of her anymore when she broke her ankle. They even told her that and then said that she will manage on her own better, that the raiders won't kill, they did not think about infected at all." Frank was explaining and surprisingly both Tess and Joel were hanging on to all of his words. "That happened two years ago, she was seven at that time and let me tell you, she was stubborn and had a heart of a fighter, which is making her really hard to raise but we love her. Actually, it would be fun to show her some new people, don't you think?" that question was meant for Bill who quickly rose from the table and shook his head at Frank.

"Not a chance. We do not know these people at all Frank, they will not see her!" Bill was almost screaming at Frank which made him feel really bad later that day but at that moment he thought it would be the only thing stopping him from showing his little girl to some strangers. They did not see you standing near the window, watching the whole situation, carefully so no one would notice you took your small polaroid camera, taking a quick photo of the strangers who were just quietly watching your two guardians arguing. As you looked at the photo and then back at them you felt the man's gaze on you, he could not see you properly, just saw a figure but you quickly hid anyway and stayed hidden until they left, looking at the polaroid photo you took.

You've seen them a few more times but they never saw you, as Bill was strictly against it. So when they stopped coming over you were not that mad but kept the photo anyway, just so you could maybe one day recognize them.

Years went by, during days you helped both Bill and Frank when they needed and later when they fell asleep you disabled the security system and sneaked out. You were walking outside of the fence, waiting for something to happen, for some infected to show or a person to show but for such a long time nothing happened so you kinda started to wish you could go explore other towns and cities. Just to escape the boring life, even though the boring life kept you alive, or at least that's what Frank told you when you confessed to him about your small trips and the wish of going away. He was not angry, that was the difference between Bill and him, Bill would scream and say some nasty stuff but Frank just stared at you blankly and then told you to be careful and take a gun with you. You felt terrible and that's maybe the reason why you stopped thinking about leaving for another few months. Until Joel came at least.

It was one of the calm days, you just celebrated your twenty-second birthday few days ago so you were sitting on a roof with camera that you got from Frank. You got there from the window of your room, watching the area through the scope of your rifle which Bill gave you so you could train shooting and you were surprisingly good. At first, you did not want to believe it, thinking it was maybe just a lost infected but later you realized it was in fact a human being. Actually two of them. Taking your walkie in your hand you quickly informed Bill and Frank who were cooking lunch together.

"Dads? We may have a problem here." you started to call them that when you were twelve. They saved your life and took you in as if you were their kid so it was not a huge surprise that you felt like they were fathers to you.

"What is it y/n? Are you okay?" Bill answered worriedly and you heard him run out. You quickly got down from the roof thanks to a rope you had there from your night walks (a few weeks ago you said to Bill that it was there for emergencies if something happened) and pointed to the horizon where walked the two figures, letting him take your rifle to look through the scope.

"Son of a bitch, get inside y/n and do not come out until I tell you so." you hesitantly looked at Bill who gave you back the rifle and murmured quietly 'please' which made you get back on the roof and to your room. You wanted to know what was going on so you hid behind a curtain and looked through a small hole. You expected Bill to take another gun but he walked closer to the fence, Frank right behind him and opened the gate. Because of the distance, you could not hear what they were telling the other two people but when you took your binoculars to at least look at these people, you recognized them. They were the people from the photo you kept in your nightstand. Joel and Tess. You remembered their name only because Frank told you and you wrote it on the back side of the photo.

"Come in, oh my God Tess, it is so nice to see you again. And the same goes for you Joel." you finally heard Frank's voice as the four of them got closer to the house.

"We are travelling to find Tommy. He's not communicating so we just wanted to stop by and ask if we could stay here one night and tomorrow get going again." Tess explained carefully, probably not to upset Bill but Frank immediately stepped into the conversation.

"Of course, it will not be a problem, right Bill?" he looked at Bill with a stern look which he rarely had to use, mainly because Bill listened to almost everything that Frank wanted.

"Thank you so much, look, we have some new seeds which of course won't be enough to pay for your generosity, but we are willing to give your also some of our supplies and help you with anything you want of course." Tessa was now talking to Bill who just nodded and they all started to walk towards the house again. You leaned towards the window a bit more as you could not see them too much, knocking over a box with some vinyl which you kept in your room. Before you could hide again, Joel's head looked up, making quick eye contact before hiding again. On his face appeared a small smirk as he saw you for a brief moment. He immediately knew who you were.

"No, you can't take her there to meet them." you heard after few minutes Bill's voice behind your door, so you quickly skipped towards them and leaned your ear on it so you would hear the conversation.

"They proved themselves to you many times before, why would they all of sudden do something to us?" Frank was speaking quietly so you barely heard him but they were really close to your room.

"We have not seen them for many years and all of sudden they show up here, that is strange." you tried to remember when you saw them for the last time and it was really a long time ago.

"That is not strange, we were communicating through the radio once in a few months, they are our friends or at least mine, so I am sure it is going to be okay." there was silence behind the door for what felt like few minutes, you already started to think that they left but then a knock on your door startled you, making you jump from the door a bit.

"Yes?" you opened it, seeing Frank who was smiling almost as much as when you first told him to teach you how to play piano.

"We want you to meet someone if you are up for it." it did not take even two seconds for you to nod.

"Yes, of course." Frank led you downstairs, where in the kitchen were sitting the only other people you've ever seen in the house.

"We thought that now when you will be here for the night it would be good to introduce you. This is y/n, the girl I've been telling you about a few years back. Y/N, this is Tess and the grumpy man is Joel." you smiled at them, shaking hands with Tess who smiled at you as well and then when you turned to shake hands with Joel, he was completely and absolutely captivated by you. His lips were parted a little, looking into your eyes as if he saw a miracle. You felt the heat in your cheeks as you smiled at him again and then quickly turned to Frank who was setting up the table meanwhile.

"Can I help you somehow?" you asked him, wishing for him to send you for some stuff but he just shook his head.

"It's all set actually, so no need, but thank you." Frank poured wine into the five glasses on the table and after a few more minutes, when you all sat at the table and were waiting for Bill to bring the food, he brought some fish he caught in the morning that day. The whole time when you were listening to Tess and Frank talking you felt Joel's gaze on you. It was not uncomfortable, not at all, you wanted that man to watch you and maybe even touch you. He was trying so hard not to look at you but he was failing so hard, he just could not help it. You were sitting opposite him, next to Tess so he could pretend to just look at her but actually, it was you and you were aware of that.

"Could you show Joel one of the guest bedrooms? I am going to take Tess to see the garden, so I will show her the other one later." Frank asked you nicely after lunch when Bill was cleaning up alone from the table and then in the kitchen even though both of the guests and you offered your help.

"Sure." that was the only thing you managed to get out of you as you stood up and started walking towards the stairs where you waited for Joel. You could not help yourself but look properly at him, almost scanning him with your eyes.

"Thank you for showing it to me, darling." you had to take a deep breath when he called you that. You basically knew him for only like an hour, so you did not want to show him how attracted you were towards him but let's be honest, after so many years with only your 'fathers' you were horny as fuck and could not handle men affecting properly.

"Here it is, we do not use it normally but the bathroom works and some men's clothes are in the closet, so you can take shower and then change if you want." you tried not to make eye contact by opening the curtains and looking out of the window but after few seconds you looked anyway.

"Thank you again, you really are a good girl." that almost made your knees stop working so you quickly smiled and walked to the door, before saying quick 'bye' and sliding to your own room which was just a few steps from the one where he was. Leaning your back on the door you almost shouted from the feelings that were screaming inside your head.

---

For the rest of the day you were in your room, hiding from everyone, mainly the brown-eyed man who made you want to have sex with him so much. You thought that maybe he did not do it on purpose, that maybe you were imagining all these things but that was not true at all. He was thinking about you the whole day when he was helping Bill around the fence and the house. He could not get you out of his head. You were an angel sent from heaven, that's what he thought.

You wished that they would not have to leave the next day and somehow your wishes came true. Tess fell from a ladder when she was trying to help Frank pick fruits from his tree garden. She did not break her ankle but she bruised it really badly so it was hard for her to walk, so they had to stay for another few days. Both you and Frank were thrilled, even though you did not show it that much but Bill was almost ready to kick them out. It was only because you said to him, that you like the company, that he let it be and let them stay longer.

Joel was always trying to be close to you when it was possible. Helping you carry heavy stuff, even though you were more than capable to do it by yourself, sitting next to you at the table and more importantly leaving small touches on your body when walking around. For example, on your waist, as he was walking around you in tight spaces or just leaving his hand on yours for a brief second when you gave him his coffee or some tools when he asked you to bring him something.

It all happened two days before he and Tess were supposed to leave. Everybody was already in their bedrooms sleeping, that's what you thought when suddenly you heard a quiet knock. You were on the roof but the window was opened so you called on whoever was behind the door to come in. When you saw Joel, you almost wished you could jump from the roof because of how much chemistry was built between you two in the previous days. You could not take any more of it. You were planning on telling him everything the next day so if he laughed at you, he would leave the next day and you would not have to see him again for a long time.

"Can I come in?" he asked as if he did not already close the door behind himself and walked closer to the window.

"Sure, you can come out here as well." you offered and watched how he hesitated for a second but then got out of the window and sat next to you. You were wearing only a long shirt and shorts so your naked legs were touching his because he was wearing just shorts and some hoodie which he found in the closet. You immediately felt goosebumps all over your body so you took a sip of a wine which you brought from the kitchen. Bill did not like you to drink alone but what he does not know does not hurt him, right?

"Why are you sitting here?" he asked nonchalantly and drank from the bottle which you handed him. You had to think about what to tell him but the silence between you was comfortable so you were not in a rush with your answer.

"I like when the world is dark and quiet like this. I can freely think about anything, for example, how is the world out of here. It is such a long time since I've been out there with Bill and saw other places." you explained, looking at the moon which came out from behind the clouds. Of course, you've done a fair amount of exploring by yourself but you were curious about bigger cities and other groups.

"The world is beautiful but terrifying out there. Infected are almost like the smallest problem there. Raiders who are killing anyone in their way and doing other bad things." you knew what he meant by that. Both Bill and Frank told you that many raiders would take advantage of finding a girl like you out in the world.

"I would love to see the world, I don't want to be stuck out here. I love Bill and Frank and I know they want the best for me but I just can't stay here my whole life." you were not complaining but you somehow knew that Joel would understand you.

"I get it, I really do, but let's be honest, even if you could fight and shoot like a pro, it is so hard to survive out there by yourself. You can't leave alone." even though you were looking at the sky, you knew that he was watching you. He was so scared that you would be by yourself and some people would come and kill you or hurt you any other way.

"I know, I am not leaving today if that's what you want to hear." he did not say it out loud, but he felt relieved because of that.

"Okay, that's good to hear, I am sure Bill and Frank would be devastated if you left without saying goodbye." he said instead, making you feel a little hurt because you thought that he did not care about you at all and just was thinking about how your 'dads' would feel, but you quickly shook your head when he was not watching you, to make yourself think straight.

"You and Tess are leaving in two days, right? It is nice to see a couple like you." you still were not sure what exactly was the deal between them. Were they a couple? Friends with benefits? Just friends or partners? You were hoping he would correct you.

"Yeah, that's right." again the hurting somewhere close to your heart before he spoke again. "And we are not a couple. There were some moments where we could be called a couple but we are just friends," he added, watching closely your reaction which you tried to hide but you breathed out with relief anyway.

"Okay, sorry if I am snooping too much." he laughed, quietly but you heard it anyway. His hand on which he was leaning was dangerously close to yours and you started to realize that and moved it a bit closer. Just a few millimetres so he would not realize it, but he did. He was studying all of your moves, wanting to know what was going on in your head.

"Don't worry about it, I don't mind." the bottle in your hand was quickly empty so you put it away next to a few other bottles which you hid so Bill would not find out about you drinking alone.

"I will probably head to bed," you said quietly and looked into his eyes while starting to get inside, where you waited for him to get in, and then you closed the window, making sure to close the curtains as well. Joel was watching you curiously and before you realized he was behind you, you stepped back and bumped into him. "I am so sorry!" you quickly turned to him but did not step away and neither did he. Your faces just were just a few centimetres away from each other and his hands gently touched your waist.

"That's okay, actually I really like to have you so close," he whispered, his eyes jumping from your eyes to your lips. But you were the one who broke the distance, connecting your lips to his. Your hands moved from his chest where they were resting to his shoulders and then behind his neck, pulling him closer to you. He immediately kissed you back, not hesitating for even a second his hands moved to your cheeks, holding you as if you wanted to run away.

So many emotions in just one kiss. You could not believe that this was happening and neither did Joel who for a split second thought that it could have been a dream. He dreamed about you almost every night. You, in his bed or in the shower with him, touching him all over and him doing the same before pressing himself against you and fucking you senseless. But then he realized what was happening and pulled you away just a few centimetres, looking straight into your eyes.

"y/n is this your first time doing anything?" you were a bit scared of this question, thinking that if you said 'yes' he would not want to have anything with you.

"Well, yes but I want it." you had to look away so that if he said something bad you would not have to see his face. But he took your chin with his fingers, making you look at him.

"If you really want it, I can give it to you. I would do anything for you. I can not tell how much I wanted this to happen." as he was speaking you felt sort of relieved that he was saying that but still you were a bit scared. No of the act itself or that it would hurt but because he would think that you are bad at it or something but all these worries melted away as he kissed you again. Slowly his hands travelled down your body, searching for the hem of your shirt which you helped him pull over your head. As he saw your naked body with just shorts on, he had to stop himself from hurrying, he wanted to make it nice for you, wanted to be gentle as much as possible so you would enjoy it.

You put your hands on your breast, shy a bit because of how he was watching you even though the room was kinda dark, just two candles lit at your nightstands. Joel quietly laughed, kissing your forehead before putting his hands on yours, pulling them away so he could see you.

"You are so pretty, baby," he whispered, kissing your neck suddenly, making you whimper quietly as he touched your ribs and then his hands travelled to your chest, caressing your breast. His hands were gentle but rough at the same time and he started to move lower with his kisses, stopping at your stomach as he kneeled in front of you. He then touched the hem of your shorts, questioningly looking at you, asking for permission, which made it even more erotic more you.

"Please, Joel, just touch me somehow." you were needy and who wouldn't if someone like Joel would kneel in front of them? On his face appeared a small smile again, he loved finally seeing you from this perspective. Slowly pulling down the shorts along with your thongs which you stole in a lingerie shop on one of your night runs to the small town nearby.

"Oh god, so beautiful." all these compliments he was giving you caused you to get wetter every second. He looked you in your eyes, waiting again for any sign of discomfort but you gave him the type of look which told him every reassurance he needed. You were absolutely devoted to him, wanting to go all the way with this man who you properly knew for only a few days.

Before you could beg for his touch again, his hand move to your thighs, making your legs spread a little and as you looked at him, he moved closer to you, gently with one stroke licking your clit. You were thinking about one thing, if this felt this good, how will the sex feel? Can it be even better? You could not think much more, he started to suck on your clit, his hands still on your thighs, thumbs rubbing small circles on your skin.

"Joel, that feels so good." you moaned, maybe a bit too loudly, but lucky for you, no one was in the room next to yours. You almost did not notice one of his hands disappear from your wast, entering you with one finger.

"Do you touch yourself, love?" he moved just a few centimetres away from your clit, looking up at you, provoking you with the naughty smirk he had on his lips. Of course, you did, lately more than ever, but who could judge you, it was an apocalypse and you could not be sure if you would ever meet men or women with who you could be sexual.

"Sometimes." you definitely did not want to lie, but why would you tell him how often, right? He probably believed you or if he did not, he did not show it on his face, instead, he put his mouth to use again, hitting the important spot with his finger to which he added one more. You were trying to get steady as your knees started to buckle under the rush of pleasure you were feeling. Joel probably noticed that, as he pushed you a little, so you could have leaned back on the window sill, at least gaining a bit of balance.

One of your hands was in Joel's hair, gently pulling so you would not hurt him but instead of it to show him how good he was making you feel. Of course, you were moaning more loudly because of how close to your first orgasm of the night you were but you were all in for physical contact as it was really important for you.

"Come on baby, cum for me." the hoarse voice of Joel, made you realize how close you really were. As you tried to contain your moans, you bit your lower lip, your head tilted back and the knuckles on your hand with which you were holding the window sill, got white as a result of how much you pressed it.

When you once read about women's orgasms, you found the book in the library, you read about the stars in front of the woman's eyes when it was really good. Well, Joel was definitely good at what he was doing as you really saw stars and it took you a few minutes to calm yourself down. These few minutes Joel was holding you in his arms, letting you lean on him with his full weight.

"That was amazing," you whispered to his chest, your hands on his stomach under his hoodie, He was looking down at you, a tender smile on his face, contemplating how beautiful you were with red cheeks, a bit teary eyes and chewed lips.

"Do you still have energy?" he asked, softly kissing your forehead. You looked into his eyes from under your lashes and smiled as if you still had the energy to do anything. He slowly picked you up and let you put your legs around his waist as he brought you to your bed, where he gently, so he would not hurt you, laid you down and then leaned above you to kiss you on your lips. The kiss lasted probably a few seconds but you wanted it to last forever.

Joel kneeled above you, took off the hoodie and threw it somewhere next to the bed. You already saw him without his shirt when he was helping outside in the sun and was too hot in his usual shirt but now it was much more erotic. He noticed you looking at him and kissed you again, he could not resist you, and probably would do anything you would ask him to at that moment.

"You sure, you wanna do it?" he asked you and somehow that made you more aroused. You liked how he wanted your permission, it was important to you.

"More than anything right now." your voice was more like a whisper as you were starting to get a bit nervous but man, you wanted him to do it immediately. You wanted to feel him inside you, you needed it.

"Look, I am going to be careful, if something was too much, just tell me okay? I will stop immediately." he was a bit worried, you could have heard it in his voice.

"I am sure, it's gonna be okay. No need to worry." you smiled at him, trying to make him feel better, which helped as he smiled back and raised from the bed to take off his shorts and boxers which he had underneath. Before you could properly look at his naked body, he already was above you, between your knees, massaging your sensitive clit again to make you wet, but that was not a problem at all so continued with himself.

He stroke himself a few times but he was already rock hard for some time now. He had to relieve himself the day before just because he saw your side boob in one of your shirts before you went to sleep, so he could not get more aroused by you. He guided the tip of his cock to your entrance, slowly pushing himself into you, not wanting to make it painful.

It was okay for a few seconds but Joel was a lot bigger than you thought, making you stretch around him. You rigged your nails in his shoulders, chewing your lips again, your eyes closed.

"Slowly, please," you whispered to his ear as he lean closer to your neck to kiss you. He tried, he really did and it was really hard given the fact that it was a long time since he had sex and you were so damn tight. It took you some time to get adjusted to him but it was still not enough.

"It's okay baby, we can leave it be, we can try tomorrow, I can prepare you better." he was trying to talk you out of it so he would not hurt you but you were stubborn and too needy for this. You shook your head, not wanting to give up.

"I can try to sit on you." just this sentence almost made Joel cum, you were just so innocent. He pulled himself out, laying on his back, helping you to get above him. You weren't scared, you knew that if he hunted you like this, it would not be his fault but yours because of how stubborn you were, but you just wanted it, needed it.

"Slowly okay? No need to hurry." he tried to calm your movements and hold you by your waist as you took his cock to your hand to guide yourself to it. Slowly you started to lower above him, stretching more than before. The soothing words that Joel was whispering, like 'it's okay, take your time my love' and 'you can do it baby' helped you a lot with the pain which started to disappear. You did not sit at him properly, you both knew that Joel will have to do the last movement but he wanted to wait for your signal.

He turned you both so he could be again above you and with a long kiss on your lips he thrust into you, making you moan and cry out a little.

"So brave for me," he whispered after a few seconds before he started to move a little. The pain was slowly fully replaced by pleasure and you could not hold the moans anymore, kissing Joel to silence yours and his whimpers.

One of your hands was on his shoulder, the other you moved to his waist and then lower, to his ass, pulling him closer to you with each thrust. The little whimpers he made when you moved to kiss his neck made you feel so good, hearing that he was also enjoying that.

"I don't think I will last any longer, my love." when he called you like that a few times, you started to feel this nice feeling in your stomach and now it really affected you a lot more. And in just a few more seconds you felt his fingers on your clit, rubbing circles on it to make you cum along with him. And you did. As you got closer, you tightened around him, making him grunt a little and accompanied by your loud moan you felt him filling you. It was like ecstasy, you thought that you've never experienced such a good feeling as sex with Joel.

The only noises in the room were your deep breaths. Joel lay next to you, pulling you into his arms, which made you feel really good. You needed someone to hold you for so long. All the nice feelings made you suddenly realise that he was supposed to leave soon and leave you there only with Bill and Frank. You looked at Joel with tears in your eyes which scared him a little.

"What is it, baby? Are you okay, is something hurting you?" he asked with concern in his voice but you shook your head to reassure him, that you were okay like physically.

"You are leaving soon." in his eyes appeared the sudden realization of the fact that he still was planning to leave to find his brother. He loved his brother and needed to know that he was okay but he really cared about you and did not want to leave you. He wanted you by his side, actually no, he needed you.

"I need to know my brother is okay." he wanted to take you with him but did not want to risk your life even though you would have him and Tess to protect you. He was not sure what to do.

"I will go with you," you suggested immediately, knowing that he was already thinking about it from the look on his face.

"You know I would love to have you with me, but what if something happened? Your dads would kill me." he tried to joke a little but you just wanted to go with him, not caring about what they would think. You knew they would be doing just fine without you.

"I do not care, Joel, please, let me come. I know how to fight and shoot, I can take care of myself and help you and Tess." you were looking into his eyes, almost begging him to take you with them. Not only that you would be with him but you could explore the world and finally see the proper cities you wanted.

"We will talk about it tomorrow, yes?" he asked, kissing your forehead, and making you close your eyes. "We will try to think of something," he added as if he was convincing himself more than you.

And as you nodded and started to slowly fall asleep, the last thought you had in your mind was, that he could disappear before you wake up and come back only if he will find his brother and survive.

[sugarpasteltmnt]

i am currently catching up on neon void, and it is a delight to read. your descriptions of leo’s mind is mesmerizing and grabs the reader’s attention so well. it’s very diverse and unique compared to other interpretations and fics♥️

i’m curious to know what your thinking process was like while writing leo’s insanity and his own thought processes.

(spoilers for ch11) the scene that stuck out to me the most was when leo was about to infect donnie. it felt so vulnerable and raw ahh

anyways i just want to dig into your mind a little to know how it works.

keep up the great work, you are doing wonderful.

WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 you are so sweet thank you!! 💙💗‼️and ohmigosh what a fun ask.

tbh i sat on this one for a while to think of how to dive into it-- beware of my (VERY) long ramblings below!

this question really got me Thinkin' and i kinda popped off but!! If i may indulge myself, here's sort of a wild explanation of how i approach Leo's Insane Brain for this specific fic:

does it meet R.I.S.E???

R - Realistic? I - Interesting? S - Silly? E - Existential?

R - Realistic

"How the hell do i make this sound realistic" is often an obstacle i run into. but it's also the Secret Sauce. What really gives the thought process direction. Given Leo's current situation, he's battling between what he wants and what he needs to do. Which is often a very real problem real people have. Exaggerating it helps create a fun back-and-forth dialog that can make his thoughts seem muddled.

With Leo in this fic’s setup, there are about five main key factors i rely on with his decision making:

Happiness The root of Leo’s general personification. He’s the guy who beat Krang One. The one who escaped a place worse than Hell. After years of missing home so much he’s FINALLY home. He’s drunk on happiness. He was finally home. And that relief and joy is what makes him so jubilant and goofy.

Awareness of his goal Though Rise Leo is a very funny dude, he's still a Leonardo. Throughout the series, Leo is the voice of reason when things are getting out of hand or are potentially dangerous. Leo's had nothing but time to think. Wishing what he'd done different. Wishing he had been more serious. After five years obsessing over his mistake and missing his family, the moment he see's the opportunity to make sure this never happens again he'll latch onto it. And when the stakes are high, accentuating that tension can help with frantic impact of his thinking.

His desire to see his family This desire often clashes with point number 2. Writing his internal struggle between the two helps with the “overwhelmed thoughts” vibe. It’s hard for him to choose! And he doesn’t wanna have to choose! Playing out the conflict between his 'want' vs his 'need to do' helps me bring out his nervous thinking process.

He's self-reprimanding thoughts We all love an Angsty Leo. It was hinted in the show that he had some self-esteem issues, but who doesn't love ramping it up to 11 for a fic??? That, and he was trapped with Krang this whole time. After hearing he was nothing but trash for five years PLUS the guilt of nearly ending the world, the guy doesn't exactly see himself in a great light you know? This can help clash with point 1, again helping with that 'what he wants' vs 'what he needs to do' inner conflict.

Instinct to Survive / Feral Tendencies This one is super fun. I love feral AUs/tropes. With little to no socialization in the Prison Dimension, Leo's sanity started to slip, leaving his body's natural instincts to become more profound. Plus, with the Krang Parasite, I like to exaggerate how feral/dangerous he could be outside of 'turtle' instincts. (Seeing that parasite hosts in the movie were very violent). Sprinkling in feral moments is just a delicious thrill I love adding, and it makes the insanity factor skyrocket and it's so fun to write 🩵🩵🩵

I - Interesting

Is Leo's thought process interesting to read??? Honestly, I just gun for what I think is the most interesting; Leo's relationship with his brothers (especially Raph), and the cause and effects of his shenanigans.

Also, I liked to experiment with wonky texts to help emphasize key moments or words to grab attention. Mostly because it feels like a fun surprise to read them in my opinion. Though not necessary in writing, I thought using some funky fonts might entice and excite 💙

S- Silly

THE BIG ONE!!! EVERYONE'S FAVORITE!!! 🎉🎊🥳🎉 Something I really love love love about Rise's style is that it's silly It's unique! It's fun! I love that Leo and the others are goofy and have some slap-stick moments. And I wanted to keep that with Leo despite everything. Plus, I ADORE that in this iteration of TMNT, the characters are such showmen. They are DRAMATIC. They are SILLY. And that's something I wanna celebrate!! Plus, as much as I love angst, writing nothing but pure angst is exhausting. (And I'm sure reading pure angst isn't enjoyably to everyone.) Throwing in Silly moments is like a little moment of refreshment to me 🩵

I also like to believe that Leo kept his sense of humor out of sheer SPITE. The 'wipe that stupid grin off your face' line in the movie really stuck with me. I feel like Leo would smile through his fear and still be a clown just to spite Krang One.

E - Existential

At the end of the day, Leo is dealing with a VERY big issue. I felt like the Rise movie did an excellent job portraying the severity of an alien invasion for the setting Rise had. And the weight of the situation would be too great for one person. And this is often what I refer back to to make Leo snap. A relapse in clarity of mind. A moment for the panic and PTSD to come back in full force and make him rely on his instincts. Usually the feral instincts he became more attuned with while fleeing/fighting Krang One. It also goes hand-in-hand with his awareness of his goal (as mentioned in 'Realistic' above).

And that's kinda a word-vomit of how it goes!! Honestly??? The tug-o-war between conflicting thoughts helps me write the madness in his head. It's been super fun and interesting, and I hope it's been fun to read!!! (Though I'm telling you now I will NOT be doing those floating text tables again OOF)

Thank you again for the ask it was super fun to think about ;w; 🩵‼️

[itsscromp]

Hello, I'm the anon that asked for something with Venom and anxious reader. I really liked it. I want to ask again for something that has been in my head.

Venom who bonds to reader who already isn't a very strong host and is battling a very bad ailment. With venom in their body he helps strengthen them against the disease. But they end up having a fight and venom leaves when his host can't sustain him. Only to end up feeling bad and missing them, so he comes back only to find their condition has severely worsened and they might not make it.

Sorry if it's a little long, but I really love what you do, keep doing it! ♥️

Venom x reader

Hello again anon, I'm so glad you enjoyed your request, Thank you for requesting again, Venom would do anything for his host. No matter what. Also a slight warning that if anything isn't accurate or correct, please don't hesitate to let me know :D Word count:1K

The past year has been absolute hell for you, You were diagnosed with leukemia, And over the year you were put through chemotherapy and underwent a lot of radiation, But the disease only spread rapidly and increased to stage 2, But that was when you met venom.

You became his host, You were amazed when he used his powers to do something about your cancer. And to the doctor's shock, you gained your strength back. In fact, you never felt better in your life. Going now 6 months without radiation or medication, your hair even grew back. But you remembered you had to help sustain venom as much as you could. But there was only so much your body could take. Yes, venom helped with your cancer, but only stopped it from progressing further. So you were still feeling the pain of it all whenever you tried to find any bad guys to help Venom.

While he was sympathetic at first, over time he grew increasingly frustrated over the lack of progress in finding bad guys to help sustain him.

"You said I could eat bad guys !!!!" He bit into your couch.

"Look I'm trying but theirs only so much that I can take to go and look through the entire city for you !!" you rubbed your face in frustration as he looked at you.

"Bullshit, This disease is only holding our potential together back, You should be lucky that I am helping you" He growled in frustration.

"Oh yeah ?? Says the parasite who got kicked off his own freaking planet !!!" you yelled at him.

'Parasite !!!" He yelled and headbutted you, breaking your nose. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, please let me fix it." He then healed your nose. "So I can break it again !!!" Headbutting and breaking your nose again.

"Fuck you !!!" You grabbed his head and slammed it on the coffee table.

A fight ensued with you two as things were thrown, venom tossing you around the apartment and slamming you against the wall. When he then trapped you on the ceiling, You reached for the smoke alarm and activated it, Sending a high frequency to him, Causing him to leap out of your body.

"Stuff this !!" He jumped out and infected another person, transforming them.

"No !!" You shouted as you saw him.

"Yeah !!" He flipped you off as he jumped off, He didn't need you, not at all. You couldn't sustain him.

But with you no longer his host, You grew deeply worried with thoughts running around your mind about your cancer. He helped slow it down. But he's gone, You were starting to shake with anxiety with what could happen now.

A week later venom was feeling bummed, He was starting to miss you, He was also starting to feel guilty for yelling at you. He knew you were trying your hardest. And he knew you didn't mean to call him a parasite. The guilt in him continued to consume him until he couldn't take it any longer. While still with his new host, he took control and headed back to your apartment. Knocking a few times but to no answer, this made him worried. So he knocked on your next-door neighbour's door which she answered.

"Excuse me ma'am, but do you know what happened to the person in that apartment ??" He pointed to your door.

"Oh... Y/n... I'm sorry but they're in hospital" she answered sadly.

"What ?? Why ??" Venom was in complete shock.

"I think their cancer got worse..."

"Which hospital did they go to ??" He asked, he needed to get to you.

"San Francisco State I believe" She answered .

With that, venom was on a mission, Taking the host's car and then driving like a mad symbiote to the hospital, his best friend was super sick now, and it was his fault...

"I'm coming y/n..."

He found the hospital and passed himself onto a doctor who was finishing his lunch break and went to the receptionist.

"I need the room for y/n l/n" He asked

"They are in the cancer unit, Room D12" The receptionist said.

He nodded and went on his way, Finding the cancer unit and then room D12, He opened the door to find you and hooked up to many machines. lying in bed unconscious as the nurse took some measurements and fixed your IV drip.

"How's they're condition looking ??" He asked, trying to sound like a doctor.

"It increased to stage 3, I don't think they'll have at least 2 days to live" The nurse said sadly.

2 days... no... venom needed to fix this, He needed your help. Once the nurse left , he joined her, but as he then closed the door, venom leaped out of his body and slithered his way up your bed, nearing your hand.

"Y/n... I don't know if you can hear me at all... But I'm going to make it better. I promise you, I'm really sorry for the fight, Let me fix it" He said to you sadly.

Soon he began to wreath into your body, determined to fight your cancer for you. With all his might he looked for the the cancer cells and cleared them out. Until they're was nothing left.

Your heart rate picked up as you got better and better. Eventually, you woke up. Back in the hospital room.

"Easy y/n... I got us" Venom softly said to you.

"Venom ??" You said weakly.

"Yes, It Is me... Y/n, I am so sorry for yelling at you, and for tossing you around the apartment..."

"No... I deserved it... I didn't keep my end of the bargain... So you had every right" Tears filled your eyes as the guilt consumed you too. "I'm sorry for calling you parasite" As your tears fall, small tentacles wreathed out your face and wiped them away.

"Cheer up ol' pal. Everything is gonna get better like they always do." Making you chuckle.

Venom would have your back through thick and thin. When life is at its most cloudiest. Darkest, He would be there to brighten it up again, just by being Venom. You wouldn't want anything else.

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

[albertasunrise]

Look for the Light - 6

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (I know this took a while and I'm sorry for that. I have somewhat strayed from the main storyline now but you will see why soon ♥️)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

You were frantic as you desperately tried to keep Joel's blood inside him. His blood-curdling scream as you pressed the bloody rag in your hands onto his stomach had you sobbing.

"Stay with me, Joel." You choked as you glanced at the man.

His head pressed back onto the towel under it, the veins in his neck prominent and his skin three shades whiter than usual. Ellie sat in the corner, anxiously chewing her thumbnail as she watched you work on Joel. Her eyes filled with tears as the man cried out with each poke and prod.

Joel looked up at you, his bottom lip quivering as he weakly watched you panic. His heart ached to tell you that it was going to be okay but he knew it wouldn't. He was losing blood quickly and was almost certainly going into shock. If that didn't kill him, the infection from his wound would. His time was up and he knew it.

"Leave." Joel choked, tears welling in his eyes as he watched you continue to try and save him "Leave." He repeated a little more forcefully and you scoffed.

"Shut up, Joel."

"Take the gun."

"Joel shut the fսck up!" Ellie growled and she crawled to his side and took his hand in hers. "You go." He said with a little more force, shoving Ellie back before trying to do the same to you "You go. You go north. You go to Tommy." He forced out, his breath coming in short pants and had him feeling dizzy "You go." He said one more time, eyes watching as Ellie got up and stormed up the stairs in a fit of rage.

"We're not leaving you here to die Joel." You growled, ignoring Ellie's outburst "Don't be stupid."

"Please." He all but whispered to you "Please get her to safety."

"Joel-"

"This is the last thing I will ask of you." He interrupted, tears falling freely now "I'm as good as dead baby." He choked, the term of endearment making your heart skip "Please, just take her back to Tommy. She'll be safe with him."

"Joel." You sobbed, taking his hand and squeezing it.

Suddenly everything that had happened in the last few months. All the guilt you felt for the animosity and anger you directed towards the man for the past three or so months suddenly consumed you. You realised you still loved him. That was painfully clear now as you held his bloody hand in your own.

"Please darlin'." He pleaded again "I've made so many mistakes... with you, Tommy and especially with Ellie but I need to die knowing she's safe."

"You're not going to die Joel." You growled, unable to admit that he was indeed dying.

Your mind wandered to the conversation you'd shared with him when you'd left Jackson. How bitter you had been towards him for his choice to leave her with Tommy in the first place. You'd known that he was just trying to do the right thing but you were so angry that you'd chosen not to acknowledge that.

Now he could die thinking you blamed him.

You woke early and sat with Ellie as she waited for Tommy to turn up. Joel had been gone by the time you'd woken up that morning and you'd found yourself feeling even more angry about that fact. The man was a coward if he had just run out on you both rather than at least say goodbye.

When Tommy stepped into the room Ellie had called hers for the night, you both stood and walked out, not a word being shared between the three of you as you made your way to the stables. When you walked into the dimly lit structure, your feet stopped dead in their tracks as you came across Joel, saddling a horse with days worth of supplies. When his gaze drifted up to look at the three of you, you could see the conflicted look in his eyes and your shoulders dropped. He was a complicated man and you knew that.

"You came here to say goodbye or something?" Ellie growled as she glared at the man, eliciting a snort from you.

"No. I came here to steal one of these horses and go." Joel confessed, glancing at you and Ellie before settling on Tommy.

"I woulda gave you one." Tommy piped up.

"I know." Joel sniffed "Anyway... that was 30 minutes ago, and I guess..." he trailed off, looking at Ellie and taking a few ginger steps towards her "You deserve a choice. I still think you'd be better off with Tommy..."

"Let's go." She interrupted, shoving her bag in his arms unceremoniously before walking up to the horse.

"Okay."

"Let's get your horse saddled up." Tommy directed at you and you gave him a small nod before waiting for him to lead the way.

Stepping off you were stopped by a hand on your arm and you didn't have to look up to know who it was. You let out a steadying breath as you waited for him to speak, anger simmering beneath the surface.

"Can we talk?" He asked and you groaned.

"I need to get my horse ready."

"It will just be a moment." He pushed, his tone pleading and you sighed, giving him a slight nod. He led you outside and around the side of the stable, his hand finally letting go of your arm as he shoved them both into his pockets.

A tense silence settled over you both for a moment which only made you more impatient for him to spit out whatever he had to say to you. So when you'd finally had enough of the awkward silence and nervous glances you forced it out of him.

"Whatever you want to say to me Joel, spit it out."

"I want you to stay here." He stated, his hands leaving his pockets and falling to his sides.

"What?"

"I think you should stay here." He repeated "Ellie and I can head to the Fireflies alone from here. You've done your part."

"Excuse me?"

"Please don't do this..."

"Do what?" You growled "I didn't stay with you both for my own amusement. I didn't go through hell just for you to dump me because you can't handle being around me anymore."

"That's not..."

"It's obvious that you've wanted rid of me since I lost the baby." You growled "I have stuck with you through everything. If I hadn't followed you so blindly I would still be pregnant but because of some false sense of loyalty to you, I did. I followed you into hell and I lost my..."

"You blame me for the miscarriage?" He choked and you scoffed.

"Yes." You replied plainly, your expression stony "Yes I do." You finished before leaving him standing out in the snow.

He watched you leave. His ears started to ring and he knew what was about to happen. These attacks had started to increase in frequency since leaving that old couple's shack a few days ago. His heart felt sluggish and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't catch his breath.

The longer he struggled, the more he panicked.

How was he supposed to protect you and Ellie if one conversation sent him spiralling? The idea of losing you, because he wasn't strong enough to keep you safe, had his knees starting to give out beneath him. His brothers calling him pulled him from his panic attack.

"You alright brother?" Tommy asked, his brows pulled together as he watched his older brother straighten his spine and look up at you, Ellie and Tommy.

"Yeah." He replied, giving you all a nod before walking over to his horse. He spared you a brief, wounded look and you couldn't help the brief pang of guilt that washed over you.

You hadn't really meant what you had said to him. You didn't blame him for the baby.

Your tears flowed freely then as you returned to the present moment. Joel was watching you through hooded eyes, his fight to stay conscious getting the better of him. You looked down at him, eyes locking in an intense gaze and at that moment what you did next was the only thing that made sense. You kissed him.

"I don't blame you." You sobbed as you pulled away from him "I need you to know that."

"I know." He choked, nodding weakly but you shook your head.

"No, I don't think you do." You wept "I know you've been hurting too and I shouldn't have treated you the way I have."

"Baby-"

"I need to say this Joel." You interrupted "I love you. I have for a long time and I need you to know that."

Joel was rendered speechless.

He lay there, whole body shaking as his silent tears leaked from the corner of his eyes. A small, almost invisible, smile tugged at his lips as he looked up at you.

"I love you too."

You leaned down and kissed him again. Your tears mixed with his own as you rested your forehead on his. Ellie's abrupt entrance into the basement had you leaping back like you were a teenager getting caught doing something you shouldn't.

"I found this." Ellie announced as she showed you a needle and thread.

Dropping to Joel's side she handed you what she'd found before looking at him and taking his hand again. This time though he didn't push her away. They shared a silent conversation as he squeezed her hand and gave her a weak smile.

"Hold him down." You instructed as you pinched wiped his wound as clean as you could make it and pinched the torn flesh between your fingers.

Joel didn't scream when the blunt needle pierced his flesh. Instead, he gripped Ellie's hand tighter and arches his back as he tried to internalise the pain.

"Breathe Joel." Ellie urged as she stroked his hair in an attempt to calm him "It'll be over before you know it."

Breathing meant Joel couldn't keep it in anymore. He yelled and cried as you sew him up with as much care and speed as you could muster. Then, just as you were about to finish up he went limp.

"Joel?" Ellie called out as she cupped his face "Joel, open your eyes."

She was frantic which only made you panic more. Finishing up you quickly reached up with a shaky hand and placed two fingers on his neck, breathing a sigh of relief when you found a weak pulse.

Ellie looked at you with tearful eyes and you gave her a weak smile "He's alive." You stated as you wiped your brow with your sleeve "Just passed out."

"He going to be okay?" She asked and you shook your head as you pulled down his undershirt down over the new rag you'd placed to soak up and other blood.

"I don't know." You answered honestly "I've closed the wound up the best I can but we need antibiotics. Without them, he'll likely get an infection. That needle wasn't clean and no doubt, neither was the bat that did this."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that really we need to get him back to Jackson asap or he's going to die." You stated plainly.

...

Joel shivered on the filthy mattress he was laid out on. Since losing consciousness, he had not regained it. You and Ellie took it in turns to watch over him. Dabbing his brow with a snow-soaked rag and whispering words of comfort to him as he twitched and whimpered in his sleep.

Glancing to your left, you noted that Ellie had managed to get to sleep. The teenager had been worrying and fretting over every little sound that left Joel for the last 12 hours. She would shut her eyes, only to wake as soon as the smallest sound slipped from his lips. Joel's delirious mumbling pulled her gaze back to him. His teeth were chattering so much you were worried his teeth would shatter. Placing a hand on his brow, you winced at the heat that radiated from his flesh. You pulled his thick jacket off of him, knowing he needed fewer layers right now. You had noticed a rolled-up picnic blanket when you had gone in search of more towels so got up as quietly as you could and scaled the basement to grab it, placing it over his legs and up to his elbows.

"C-c-cold." Joel muttered, his teeth chattering as the shakes wracked his whole body and your heart broke as you watched him suffer. Even in his unconscious state, he was still suffering.

"I know Joel." You whispered as you lay yourself down beside him and placed your head on his chest. You could hear the weak beating of his heart and your own shattered. He was so very weak and you knew he was slipping away.

He needed medicine or he wasn't going to make it.

...

"Why won't he stop shaking?" Ellie asked as she watched you clean his wound, grimacing at the infected state it was in.

"Because his wound is infected." You stated simply "He's probably suffering from Sepsis." You stated plainly as you pulled his soiled shirt down and sat back on your legs "If it gets into his bloodstream, he'll die."

"What can we do?" She asked and you let out a long sigh.

"Honestly?" She nodded and you dropped your head to stare at your hands in your lap "He's not well enough to ride but without Antibiotics he's going to die." You stated plainly "The way I see it we have two options "We can try and get him back to Jackson and hope that he makes it the week it'll take us to get there."

"Or?"

"Or we try and see if we can find some antibiotics nearby." You finished " Looks like all the houses have been pilfered so I doubt we'll find anything."

"So we move him." Ellie stated plainly "We made it here in five days, we can get back just as quickly."

"We made it in five days because we were all fit and well." You sighed "With Joel in the condition he's in, it'll slow us down."

"What other choice do we have?" She asked and you shook your head.

"None."

Getting Joel's dead weight back onto the makeshift stretcher you and Ellie had created had been difficult. Whereas before, Joel had regained consciousness and had managed to limp into the basement. You and Ellie had had to carry his comatose form up the stairs and onto the mattress stretcher that was now strapped to the back of Ellie's horse. You had managed to pad the stretcher more, meaning that Joel would not feel the journey as badly as he had before.

Now, six days later, you could see the tall walls of Jackson come into view. You breathed a sigh of relief as you glanced down at the still-unconscious Joel. He had not woken the entire trip and his fever had reached new highs. He was stripped down to little more than this undershirt and jeans now in a desperate attempt to keep his temperature down but the longer he went without medicine, the closer he crawled to death.

"We made it Joel." Ellie called out as she nudged her horse to walk again "Just hold on old man."

You followed her lead, wishing you could move a little faster. What felt like an age later you were within shouting distance of the gates. So you and Ellie yelled at the top of your lungs for help. When you made it through the gates you were begging the guards to fetch Tommy as you dismounted and dropped to Joel's side, fussing over the unconscious man as your tears fell freely.

The sound of frantic footsteps wasn't enough to pull your attention away from your lover. Tommy's choked question was though.

"What the hell happened?" He asked as he dropped to his knees, hands waving over his brother's form as he took in how sick he looked.

"We were ambushed at the school." You answered "The fireflies were long gone but some raiders were scouting the area. He got stabbed with a broken bat."

Joel's guttural yell pulled all of you to look at him and in the blink of an eye, his whole body had gone rigid. The convulsions tore through him violently. His eyes were white slits as his back arched and his limbs flailed.

"What's wrong with him?" Ellie asked as she cried openly "Joel?"

"He's seizing." Someone knew said "The infection is getting the better of him." They stated as Joel's body started to still "We need to get him to the hospital. Without medicine, this man is hours away from succumbing to it."

Tommy said nothing, just watched numbly as his brother was loaded onto a stretcher and then lifted off the ground. You all followed wordlessly as he was carried into the building that had been repurposed as a hospital. There were beds lining each wall, curtains parting each one. One or two had occupants but mostly, the hospital was empty. The medic led you all further into the hospital and through a door and into a long, wide, hallway. Opening the second door on your left, the medic held it open so that the other could carry Joel inside.

"Lay him down on the bed." The medic ordered as he washed his hands then grabbed some gloves "I need you all to clear the room."

"But-"

"I will fetch you once he is stable." The medic interrupted and the men that had carried Joel then ushered you out of the room.

You watched through the window as his clothes were cut away, revealing the gruesome wound that was swiftly killing him. You choked on a sob as the doctor started to cut the stitches you had done over a week ago, not because of the work you had put into them but because Joel didn't even flinch.

"Come on." Tommy said softly as he lead you away from the door and towards the main hospital "Watching ain't going to do anyone any good."

"I can't lose him, Tommy... I can't-"

"You won't." He assured you as he pulled you into his arms "Joel's persistent! Gonna take a lot more than a splinter to kill him."

This made you chuckle. You pulled away and smiled up at him, allowing him then to guide you to a set of chairs in another room. Sitting you then noticed it.

The blood.

It was all over you.

Your clothes, under your nails. It was even crusted in the ends of your hair and you felt sick to the stomach. All this blood that should be inside of Joel was all over you.

"Come, let's get you back to the house where you can shower and change." Tommy said upon noticing you staring at your hands.

"But Joel-"

"Docs gonna be working on him a while." Tommy stopped you "You have time to wash and change. Someone will fetch you if anything changes."

You nodded, eyes then drifting to Ellie who was looking to you for guidance. You wish you could give it to her. Wished you could be strong for her but you couldn't. You knew Joel's chances weren't good. The infection had almost certainly reached his blood by now.

Even with medicine, it was down to him to fight this.

And you weren't sure he could.

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[sleepingdeath-light]

s/o who is jealous of willow hcs ; hunter

requested by ; anonymous (30/04/23)

fandom(s) ; the owl house

fandom masterlist(s) ; main | hunter-only

character(s) ; hunter wittebane

outline ; “hii! Can I request a hunter x reader where reader gets jealous and kinda insecure about hunter's relationship with willow? Like, the reader would be really trying to hide it, bc they know willow is a very close friend of hunter, but he notices it anyway 🥺

maybe a bit angsty?

also i just wanna say that you are my favorite hunter x reader writer omg ♥️♥️ luv u”

warning(s) ; angst, jealousy, comfort

you knew that it wasn’t rational, you knew that they were just friends — and you knew how important that was because he had so few support systems in his life — but knowing that didn’t change anything

not all feelings are rational, and feelings don’t need to be rational to exist

and exist your jealousy did

a gnawing parasite that buried itself in your innards and twisted deeper and deeper whenever she made him smile or blush — a stabbing pain like a dagger or some other jagged blade

a cold flush like iced water being poured over you every time he laughed at one of your jokes

the necrotic, bloody wound that spread and spilled its puss in the form of the scowl threatening to pull downwards on the edges of your lips every time she touched his arm

a disease, an infection, an infestation

so very wrong and irrational

but you couldn’t help it, couldn’t cure it, couldn’t rid yourself of it

something didn’t need to make sense for it to hurt — didn’t even need to be intentional

and you knew it wasn’t intentional

titan, no! hunter would never even dream of hurting you and willow was so lovely that she wouldn’t consider it for a second

which only made you feel worse

made you withdraw more from the group, from your relationship, as you tried to put on a facade of being okay

but he noticed

of course he noticed

and he confronted you in the privacy of your home — told you that he knew what was wrong

he knew about your feelings when it came to willow, he’d noticed — but she hadn’t (thank goodness) — but you still felt horrible because this was the exact thing you were trying to avoid

and you feel like you’re going to cry as you fall over yourself to apologise for feeling so jealous and being so stupid about it and not being able to stop

and he stops you, silences you and pulls you into a hug as he lets you cry it out

he’s rocking back and forth and soothing you and shushing you as he lets you calm down, slowly letting you know how he stood on the whole thing

and he’s so understanding because he’s hunter so of course he is, and he’s murmuring promises and reassurances against the crown of your head as he soothes you

he says he understands, that there’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling and that it’s not your fault

that you can’t control your feelings but you can control your reaction to them and he’s so proud of you for how you were dealing with your jealousy

but that he wishes you’d have come to him to talk about it sooner rather than trying to hide them

that you’re partners and it’s important that you trust each other to have these conversations so you can tackle these things as a team

he reaffirms that he and willow are just friends (which you knew) and when you pull away to look at him he makes you promise to talk about things like this with him first rather than just trying to hide away

and you agree

and you kiss

and everything is back on track to being somewhat normal

because now you’re a team and you’re going to kick your jealousy in the ass

[metalheads-trash-bin]

Hey! Saw your ask on another trolls related blog and am a big fan of your stuff, I hope you are doing okay and if not, I hope you are able to get any support you need!! Please take your time and take care of yourself <33

Hey! Thank you so much for the sweet ask! I’m doing okay. The situation at hand happened and now it’s being handled. But I am better now, no worries. It’s really nice knowing people are still fans of me even though I’m currently on hiatus! I’m going to try to come back as fast as I can, life got busy and if you haven’t checked my page I’m an admin of a very popular trolls infection artist’s dc server. With that there’s been some insane misbehavior from fans for the past week.

Asks like these help so much, i love knowing you guys are still fans and still enjoy my content. I know and i swear to all of you i WILL eventually finish ALL the fics i have posted. I am NOT abandoning them. But it will take much longer than anticipated. Life is a bitch.

Thank you bunches for the ask ♥️ take care of yourself too!

[helloalycia]

moving on [two] // alicia clark

summary: Alicia takes you back to the fire as you desperately hope to find your sister and take her away from Jeremy. Things don't seem to go to plan...

warning/s: mentions of injury and death.

author's note: here’s part two for the few people reading this one aha, hope you like it! ♥️

one / three / four / five / six / wattpad / masterlist

"Are you sure you're okay? You look like you're in a lot of–"

"I'm fine," I cut Alicia off for the millionth time, gritting my teeth.

She glanced at me before nodding and returning her attention to the road. I closed my eyes and looked away, trying to push away the pain in my shoulder. It was hurting a lot more than I realised, the meds Naomi gave me only doing so much. Really, I needed rest, but I couldn't waste time, not when Y/S/N was somewhere out there.

Alicia kept to her word and was taking me back to the fire, which should've long burnt out now. She'd been able to take a car from the stadium which I was surprised they had the gas for, along with some supplies and a gun in case we ran into any trouble.

As we got closer to the building, I noticed a lot of infected hanging around nearby, drawn in by the smoke. Less than when I was here last, but still a lot more than expected. Alicia had to pull up down the road so we wouldn't attract them.

"I don't think she's gonna be in there," Alicia said hesitantly, as if afraid to insult me yet again. It didn't matter – I knew she thought this whole thing was pointless, but I didn't care for her opinion.

Annoyingly though, she was right at the moment. There was no way Y/S/N would have stayed with this much infected around. I wasn't sure what I expected to find.

"Drive past it," I told her. "We set up camp not far from here. If they're still there, that's where she'll be."

Not arguing it, Alicia hummed and turned the engine back on, carefully manoeuvring around the stray infected and following the road away from the fire. I glanced at it in the window, realising how lucky I was to have made it out alive. That, and a small part of me was terrified I'd find my sister walking amongst the dead.

Thankfully, she wasn't.

All of my hopes were placed in the belief that Y/S/N was back at camp with Jeremy and the rest of his gang – it was too soon for them to move on, unless they deemed it unsafe. I didn't want to consider that as an option, since we hadn't talked about where to go next and so if she wasn't here now, I'd truly lost her.

The car ride was quiet except for the occasional direction from myself, and after a tense ride, we finally reached a deserted strip mall. I tried not to worry at the emptiness of it all, knowing this had been full of tents and supplies when I'd been here only a few days ago.

"They should be here," I muttered, mostly to myself, and barely acknowledged Alicia's response when I got out the car and made my way to one of the stores.

Knife raised (since Alicia refused to give me an actual weapon), I ran inside, hoping to find any sign of people. But everything was a mess, empty packets and cans of food left lying around like everybody had moved out.

"No, no, no, no...," I mumbled, the panic growing as I sped around the shelves of the store, expecting to find somebody. "Y/S/N?! Are you here?! It's me!"

There was no answer and I knew they'd left – it only made sense – but I refused to accept it. There had to be something!

I checked the back of the store – a small room where we had left some supplies – but it was empty and anything leftover was simply rubbish. They'd gone.

Y/S/N was gone.

"Y/N," Alicia breathed out when she saw me stepping out from the back room. "I... I'm sorry."

Tears pooling in my eyes, I glanced at her, seeing pity staring back at me. I didn't want her pity, I wanted Y/S/N.

"We never move on this quickly," I said, putting my knife away. "Maybe they went out."

Alicia pressed her lips together, no doubt judging my naïvety. "Or maybe they left because it was too close to the fire. To the infected. Too dangerous."

I frowned, squeezing my fists together. "There's got to be something here to tell me where they went. I'm not giving up."

"Y/N..."

I ignored her protesting voice as I peeled my eyes for any clue to their whereabouts. Alicia called my name as I zipped around the store, flipping over the few belongings that had been left behind, but it was useless.

"There's nothing here, Y/N, maybe you should leave it," Alicia tried, and it only pissed me off further.

"No!" I yelled, spinning around to glare at her. "I'm not just giving up! She may not mean anything to you, but she's my sister!"

"She left you to die!" Alicia retorted, sympathetic eyes flickering between mine.

"She didn't!" I defended her. "It was that fucking arsehole– ugh!"

Out of frustration, I swung my arm at a nearby shelf, it falling to the floor with a crash, and though it temporarily eased my frustrations, it permanently left me with a strike of pain in my shoulder. Immediately wincing, I clutched my arm, cursing at my stupidity.

"Your arm–"

"I'm fine!" I shouted, glaring at the stranger who had no need here, but it wasn't threatening in the slightest because I was a blubbering mess.

"Y/N, you have no idea where she is and they could all be long gone by now," Alicia tried again, this time in a gentler voice. "Your shoulder isn't looking good and if you leave now, it's a suicide mission!"

I sniffled, eyes blurry with tears, too many to make out Alicia's face. I hated how emotional I sounded when I said, "I can't leave her. She's my sister. I can't stop looking, not when she's out there somewhere." Frowning, I let go of my shoulder and wiped away my tears, but only more replaced them. "She's all I have left. You don't get it. I'm supposed to look after her."

Hesitantly, Alicia took a step forward and rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You've done all you can right now. You're hurt. You need rest."

She was right. But giving up wasn't easy, even though deep down I knew that finding Y/S/N was impossible. She could be anywhere by now and I had no idea where to start looking.

I still wasn't sure whether she chose to leave me back at the fire or not, but I knew that we shouldn't be apart. Still... oddly enough, I couldn't help but wonder if it was supposed to be like this. We'd been arguing a lot lately, she was changing right before my eyes and I couldn't stop it. I despised Jeremy, but he did keep her safe. Maybe she was finally with people who understood her, not like I did.

"Y/N," Alicia said softly, and I realised I was crying again, the loss stinging more than the pain in my shoulder.

"I know you're right," I said, not meaning for it to come out as a whisper.

Alicia sighed regretfully, dropping her hand. "We have scouts that go out regularly from the stadium to keep an eye on the surrounding areas. I can ask them to keep an eye out for your sister and this gang. If any word or sightings come up, you'll be the first to know."

I glanced at her, wondering why she was being so generous, especially after my lack of gratitude.

"You're not giving up," she assured me, nodding. "We'll be looking. You're just keeping yourself safe. Doing the smart thing, not the reckless one."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, sniffling uncomfortably. Was she right again? Probably. But it wouldn't make losing Y/S/N any easier. My baby sister. Lost.

"Please will you come back to the stadium with me?" she asked carefully, looking up at me through her eyelashes. "Your sister got a fresh start. You deserve one, too."

It was hard to agree, considering it was my fault this had all happened. But I had nowhere to go, and Alicia was the kindest person I'd met in a long time.

"We should go," I confirmed, unable to meet her gaze because I was horribly hurt, embarrassed and still a little angry, though not at her.

She seemed to gauge my mood as she nodded and led the way back to the car. I glanced around at the deserted store, wondering by how much I'd missed them all. It didn't matter, but I still wondered.

When Alicia and I returned to the stadium, time didn't feel real. I followed along as she returned the car and spoke to some of the guards posted at the gate, but none of it was really sticking. Lost in my own head, that's what I was, and the last place I wanted to be was here.

Alicia's mother, Madison Clark, found us by the gate, too. I only knew who she was because she was the one who let us go this morning, understanding my need to find my sister. Of course, now it meant nothing. She was nodding along intently as Alicia explained what we found, but I tuned it out. Until suddenly, I felt her touch my arm briefly, bringing me back to reality.

"...sorry you couldn't find her, Y/N, I really am," Madison was saying, staring at me with the same sympathy her daughter had been this whole time. "We'll keep an eye out for her and hopefully something will come up. But for now, you should stay here and rest up. This place could be something special for you if you allow it."

Admittedly, the southern twinge in her accent and the fact that she was the first elderly maternal figure I'd come across since losing my own made me feel a little better, but then the hurt returned when she let go and I was back to feeling lost.

Alicia said a few more things, none of it meaning a thing to me, before Madison left us. Only when she nudged my arm slightly did I realise she was asking me something.

"What was that?" I asked, blinking with realisation.

Hiding a frown, she asked, "Are you alright with going back to see Naomi? She should check on your shoulder."

Feeling like I didn't have much of a choice or interest in the matter, I shrugged halfheartedly and followed after her.

I hadn't wanted to return empty handed. Maybe I had let my mind run wild last night, imagining a scenario where we found Y/S/N and I finally convinced her to leave Jeremy, to come back with me to the stadium. Being here without her was a permanent reminder of what I'd failed to do.

Naomi checked me out once more, but I barely remembered it. A few stitches had come loose (no doubt a result of my tantrum) and she fixed me up quickly enough.

Soon after, Alicia said something about a tour of the place, but considering she led me straight to my own small room that had been newly built, I could only assume she meant another time.

"This is all for me?" I asked with surprise, looking around the small wooden shed that had had a glass window and enough space to house a bed, dresser and desk. More than I'd had in a long time.

"Yeah, it's one of the newer rooms we've built since we have the space," she said casually, like this wasn't the biggest luxury of all. "Also, I didn't think you'd want to share with a stranger right now. But if you find yourself getting lonely, I can arrange for a roommate."

All I could think to do was nod, in slight disbelief as I looked around the space. Everything was spotless, ready to be lived in. And to my dismay, the first thing I thought was how it would be the first space I'd live in without Y/S/N.

"I'll leave you to get settled," Alicia spoke when I didn't. "Lunch will be served soon. I can come and get you and show you around a little from there. Is that okay?"

I was glad not to be facing her, otherwise she'd see me shamefully trying to wipe away some tears. Why couldn't we have found this place sooner? I'd still have my sister. We could have been safe. It was right under our noses this whole time and we'd missed it.

"Y/N–"

"That's fine," I cut her off before she could attempt to comfort me. "Thank you."

For some bizarre reason, the brunette was persistent as she found my gaze worriedly. "It's been a long few days for you. I understand this can feel overwhelming. If you want to talk about it–"

"I said I'm fine, Alicia," I interrupted a little too harshly, before adding, "Thanks," in a poor attempt to ease the blow.

She didn't seem offended, not entirely anyway, as she nodded. "Right. Well, I'll be back in a bit. Be careful with your stitches."

I nodded, watching as she left me to it. When the door closed behind her, I finally felt like I could breathe, no longer under her watchful stare. It was a lot to process, her personality a big question on its own, but I couldn't begin to think about that right now. Not that, not this place and it's privileges, not anything.

Y/S/N was plaguing my thoughts. She was gone, for now, but she was still out there somewhere. She had to be. And I wouldn't give up until I knew she was definitely safe.

I knew this, and yet the tears still rolled down my cheeks and I still found myself sobbing in the corner of the room, mourning her like she was truly gone.

Settling into the stadium was much more difficult than I realised. And not at the fault of the people here – they were actually some of the nicest bunch I'd met in a long time – but because I was still in denial about Y/S/N.

Wherever I went, whatever I did, I'd think of her. How couldn't I? She was my family, my sister, the person who knew me the best. We'd been together our whole lives and now suddenly we weren't? It was the worst feeling, one I couldn't adjust to. Every day for as long as I'd been here this past week, I'd asked the patrol in the evenings if they'd seen or heard anything about Jeremy and his gang. It was always the same answer: no.

The stadium itself was difficult to adjust to as I still couldn't get used to seeing so many people, a community, altogether at once. Y/S/N and I had been on the run for so long, I'd forgotten what a community felt like. Everybody helped each other out, befriended one another, took turns with chores, acted like a family. There was no constant looking over your shoulder for fear of infected or wondering where your next meal would come from – every day was like a breath of fresh air. The closest thing to normal I'd seen since the world went to shit.

I should have been grateful, I know it. And I would have if you'd caught me at any other point in my life, but not now. Not when I couldn't accept it all without my sister by my side.

I mostly kept to myself, finding it easier that way. After Alicia had given me that initial tour, she offered to introduce me to some people to help me settle in, but I had no interest in doing so. At mealtimes, I would stick to my own table. When I'd sign up for chores in the morning, I'd only converse if I had to. Apart from speaking with Naomi about my health when she checked on my shoulder, I rarely spoke. It wasn't healthy, I knew that much, but it was hard to enjoy anything without Y/S/N.

It didn't stay like that forever though.

One day, I was on laundry duty, scrubbing some clothes on a washboard but very much lost in my own thoughts – a common pastime of mine lately, it seemed.

"Hey!" a voice shouted, startling me from my thoughts and making me look up. It was Alicia. "You've gotta start pulling your weight around here, those clothes aren't gonna wash themselves."

Worried, I straightened up and looked back to the washboard, scrubbing the clothes faster. "S-sorry, I'm on it."

"Hey, hey, hey," she said quickly, stopping my hands with her own. An apologetic smile was on her lips as she said, "I'm kidding, relax."

I sighed quietly, embarrassed as I looked away. "Right."

"I just wanted to ask how you're doing," she continued, losing her smile when she realised I wasn't amused. "I feel like we haven't spoken much since you've been here."

She was being polite about it, but we both knew it was intentional on my part. Every time she looked like she wanted to talk to me, I'd actively avoid her. It wasn't anything she'd done, more so that I knew I'd have to open up to her because she wasn't one to leave things alone, and I certainly wasn't ready for that.

"It's safe," I said truthfully, answering her question, hoping it would be what she wanted to hear and convince her to leave me be. "Everybody is nice. It's nice to be guaranteed a meal, one that nobody had to die for."

When she didn't respond, I glanced up and realised she was frowning, making me feel bad.

"Sorry, never mind," I said awkwardly, clearing my throat.

"No, it's okay," she found her voice again, the sympathy returning. "I know what it's like out there. How hard it can be."

I hummed uncomfortably, unsure what else to say. My eyes were on the bucket of water that my hands were stuck in as I wondered whether or not she'd leave, but then she spoke up again.

"Do you, maybe, wanna hang out when you're done?" she asked politely. "I was gonna–"

"I'm okay," I answered before she could waste another breath. The last thing I wanted was even more of her pity, even if she was only trying to be nice.

Surprised at my abruptness, she licked her lips and nodded slowly. "Hmm, yeah, no worries. Well, I'll be around if you need anything. Or change your mind."

I nodded, knowing I wouldn't, and she awkwardly walked away, leaving me to do my job.

In the week I'd been here, I still hadn't pinpointed what Alicia's story was. Despite not speaking to people much, it wasn't hard to eavesdrop on conversations or gain the occasional context from people whilst working. It still wasn't enough though.

All I'd gathered was that Alicia and her family were adamant on keeping this place safe, secure and open to those who needed a home. It didn't make sense why she was so kind and wanted to help people – nobody was that nice without a hidden motive. I was still trying to figure it out, but the more I observed the girl, the more I began to believe that maybe she was just one of those rare nice people, one of the few left in the world.

Lucky me, I guess.

That same evening, after dinner, I was stretching my legs and going for a walk around the stadium with the intention of making it back to my room to have a quiet night in (the usual for me nowadays).

It wasn't too cold out, the weather finally starting to feel like spring, and the sun had just set so it left me in a rare yet peaceful mood. I was somewhat enjoying the time alone, not really thinking of anything in particular, when I felt something hit my foot. Confused, I stopped and looked down, realising it was a toy car. How did that get there?

Before I could think to do anything, it whirred to life and reversed a little before attempting to drive forward again, once again hitting the tip of my shoe. A second car rolled onto the scene, slamming into the first one at full speed, resulting it in landing upside down. Whoever was controlling it attempted to move it with the controls, the wheels spinning in the air, but it was stuck.

I looked up, very much lost, and spotted a kid cheering in the distance, a remote in hand and grin on her face. Alicia was kneeling beside her, a remote in hand also, and looked like she was scolding her briefly before standing up and meeting my eyes apologetically. Jogging over to me, she smiled awkwardly.

I bent down to pick up the upside down car as the other one drove away, standing up as Alicia stopped before me.

"Hey, sorry about that," she said quickly, eyes darting to the car nervously.

"S'okay," I said, before giving it back to her. Unsure what else to say, I added, "So, er, is this what you do for fun?"

I cringed as soon as I said it, internally kicking myself for sounding like an idiot.

She snickered nervously, shrugging as she played with the car between her fingers. "I found some batteries for them and thought little Aaliyah might want to do something fun."

I glanced over at the young girl in question, watching as she continued to play with her car with a permanent grin fixed on her face. It was strange seeing a child get to be a child, but it felt right. It was how it was supposed to be, and Alicia was pretty sweet to give her this experience.

"Looks fun," was all I could think to say.

Alicia hummed in agreement, glancing over at Aaliyah, too, before her green eyes met mine. "I was going to ask if you wanted to join us earlier, but I... er..."

I realised what she was referring to and immediately felt bad for blowing her off so suddenly.

"Sorry if I offended you," she decided on, sounding genuine. "I know that you're still settling in–"

"No, no need to apologise," I interrupted, feeling mildly guilty for icing her out unnecessarily. "I'm sorry. It was rude of me to decline like I did. You were just being nice and I..." I sighed inwardly. "Thank you for the offer."

She pursed her lips, nodding slowly. I assumed she'd leave it there, but her eyes lingered on mine hopefully before she said, "The offer's still there if you wanna reconsider..."

I paused, surprised that she still wanted to hang out with me after how I'd acted. Then she wiggled the remote a little in her hands in an admittedly cute attempt to entice me, and it annoyingly worked.

A ghost of a smile on my lips, I accepted the remote from her. "Thanks."

Her own smile appeared, softening her features, and she put the car back on the ground for me to use.

I hadn't played with a remote-controlled car since I was a kid, so playing with one now was certainly something. Definitely a time I wouldn't forget, not with Alicia sticking by my side like we were kids in a playground that had suddenly decided to play games with each other. We played together with Aaliyah, engaging in little competitions, and it was admittedly the first time I'd thought about something other than Y/S/N. The first time I'd felt myself smile since coming here.

It was a weird feeling and I almost felt guilty for feeling like I was living again, but I didn't get chance to because Alicia's laughter and Aaliyah's cheering would distract me, and I'd have no need to think otherwise.

Y/S/N and I had stuck together all of our lives and especially during this apocalypse, so I hadn't had room or time for friends since it had all started. I was rusty, clearly, but it was a pleasure to be able to hang out with someone – to hang out with Alicia – and see a potential friendship. Though, I was still in denial about that last part, of course.

The next morning, I was heading to get breakfast as usual, planning to sit alone like I always did. But as I was about to join the queue to collect my food, none other than Alicia found me and joined me with a small smile.

"Good morning," she greeted, lining up behind me in the queue.

It was out of the ordinary for her to greet me, especially since it was obvious I'd been actively avoiding her recently and she knew not to approach me. But last night seemed to have changed the dynamic a little, and I didn't completely hate it.

"Morning." I returned her smile, albeit a little more tired than I wanted.

I moved up the line as trays were being handed out, closer to getting my food, when Alicia spoke up again.

"So, would it be overstepping if I asked if you wanted to sit with me this morning?"

My first instinct was to decline, the words on the tip of my tongue as I glanced over at her. But then she smiled at me – curse her friendly smile – and waited patiently for an answer, and then I remembered how I actually liked being around people last night, so maybe it wasn't a bad thing to say yes.

"It wouldn't, no," I answered, hoping it was the right thing. "Thanks."

She nodded, suppressing her smile as she looked away. "Great."

We both collected our breakfast – something I was still getting used to because of how varied it was every morning – and I followed her to a table. The one she chose already had two people seated there, whom I recognised to be her brother, Nick, and his girlfriend, Luciana. I hadn't formally been introduced to Nick, but I'd heard of him through others over the last week. And of course, Luciana had been with Alicia when they found me.

"Hey, guys," Alicia greeted when she took a seat opposite them. "Y/N is gonna join us this morning. Be nice."

"I'm always nice," Luciana said, making Alicia smile with amusement.

"You're right, Luci, my bad. I obviously meant my idiot brother," she corrected herself, making her brother grin.

I slid in beside Alicia, offering a small, awkward smile to the couple.

"I'm always nice, too, for the record," her brother said to me with a playful smile, before introducing himself. "I'm Nick, Alicia's brother."

"And I'm Luciana, as you know," Luciana added with a friendly smile. "It's nice to properly meet you, Y/N."

"It's nice to meet you both, too," I returned politely, knowing they were just as much in charge of this place as Alicia and her mum, even if they all claimed there was no official 'leaders'. I didn't want to make a bad first impression, though I was sure I was a little late with that.

"How are you finding it here so far? You've been here for a week or so, right?" Luciana asked with genuine interest.

"It's a lot better than what I'm used to," I said truthfully, before looking down at the scrambled eggs in my plate. "I dreamed of eggs once upon a time. Now I actually have them."

She smiled with amusement. "Yeah, it's a little hard to believe sometimes."

"The best bit is when we get to have the beef," Nick said with a satisfied smile, as if remembering something. "We pull out the grill, have a barbecue. It's just like old times."

"Oh, yeah, because back at home you used to love having family barbecues," Alicia said sarcastically, giving her brother a knowing look.

Nick grinned. "You're just jealous that I used to get my burger made before yours."

"It wasn't jealousy," she corrected him, like they'd had this discussion many times. "You used to sit and do nothing whilst I helped mum and dad out with the food, then waltz on in to get served first. It wasn't fair."

"That's not how I remember it," Nick teased, scrunching his nose.

Alicia raised her brows. "You might wanna get your head checked then. Because I'm right."

Nick shrugged, going for a forkful of eggs. "Jealous."

"Right."

"Jealous."

"Right."

I couldn't tell if they were arguing or sharing playful banter, as I looked between them like a tennis match. Luciana glanced at me, unbothered by it.

"You learn to tune it out," she assured me.

I nodded slowly, wondering if that were true, then the Clark siblings finally put their petty argument to rest and turned the conversation back to me.

"So, what did you sign up for today?" Nick asked, making conversation.

"I, er, said I'd help with the cattle," I said. "I'm just kinda trying everything out to see what I like."

"Aww, that's good, you're helping Nick's family out," Alicia teased, looking to her brother with a mischievous smile.

He tried to fight his own smile as he rolled his eyes. "Really funny that was, Alicia. You should be a comedian. Seriously."

"Maybe in a different life, who knows?" she played along, trying to annoy him.

"Though I suppose the audience would be too distracted by your ugly face to listen to the jokes," he added, making her scoff.

"Asshole."

"Says you?"

"Yeah, to you."

They continued to bicker, all of it lighthearted and in good faith, and as Luciana said, she tuned it out and kept eating. I smiled a little, finding their insults to one another amusing, but it also saddened me a little, reminding me of my relationship with Y/S/N, or what it was once like before she started to change.

And just like that, the grief returned, washing over me like a tidal wave, and it only made me hurt more.

"I'm gonna get a head start on my chores," I said suddenly, losing my appetite and not wanting to be here anymore. "Thanks for the company."

As I stood up, about to leave, Alicia looked up at me with concerned eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and I simply nodded, briefly meeting her gaze before looking away.

"All good. Thanks again." And with that, I left them to it, knowing the temporary happiness was too good to be true.

It was amazing how one thing could put me in a sour mood for the rest of the morning, even as I worked on feeding and washing the cattle with some of the others.

I'd almost felt like myself again, but it was snatched away in an instant, Y/S/N returning to mind. Again, I'd asked the patrols last night if they'd seen or heard anything about her, but still I was met with nothing. She was still out there and I was still in here with no choice but to stay.

Would this place every truly feel like a home to me?

[dead-obsith]

Dude istg, this is the second or third time ur homestuck art makes me fall back into a homestuck brainrot! Ur shapes r such an inspo, and I loooove the outfits u give them all, it looks so on character for them!! have a good day/night, remember to drink water and eat a meal!

Welcome back in this hell we call homestuck >:D glad I could infect you. Also thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to hear that ♥️

[eminsunnytoons123]

The special muppets project that I was about to cancel, but Got it back to Life...

Dedicated to all my besties, Sisters, Brothers, pen pals AND girlfriend like @nuggetaubrey @muppet-fan-real @peaceforpeople @iggyguyy @ducktoonz903707 @nightkit92 And all the other besties, Sisters, Brothers, pen pals And girlfriend of mine that always supported me for who I am And always love my work And make me forget about the situation between me And dann- no.. I wont say her name until she forgives me... But anyways now i'll make this project get back to Life again =^_^=

So, I think some of y'all remember that I wanted to make a project called "the muppets infection" since I have saw lots of MLP infection AU's on tiktok, so I decided to make mine too, but with The muppets, And I decided to make this with some of my besties, Sisters, Brothers, pen pals AND my girlfriend =^///^=

And in this photo, you see hexagon sam And square miss piggy sketching the logo of it in my notebook for drawing =^.^=

But i'll really appreciate it if y'all will help me with this AU And the lore, context, character designs... Etc =^_^= y'all can tell me some suggestions either in private messages or ask box =^_^=

I hope y'all will like this =^///^= ♥️💞

[sparkles-and-trash]

🧵 health, ableism ++

Yesterday a doctor, a seasoned guy who’s worked 40+ years, told me the reason I’ve met so much resistance with the health system;

Here, the doctors see you as «a waste of reasources» after three spinal/back related related surgeries.

I was 19 when I reached their limit.

They deemed me a lost cause at 19, years old.

The reason I had those two extra surgeries after the first, big one?

The healthcare system trying to save money.

Today, everyone who gets a scoliosis surgery like mine gets titanium right away.

When I was 13, got made 7 cm taller, got two rods and 20 bolts drilled into my spine, it was just steel.

I had a violent reaction that turned to all of this getting infected and that worsened until I was 16, when they finally made the switch to titanium.

But by then it was too late, and the infection got worse as it returned, and at 19 I had to have it all removed, which is high risk and still scary.

My spine is so fragile and fucked up now.

This all turned into other issues, and since then I have been diagnosed with chronic migraines, lupus, pcos, and endometriosis.

The first one is the only one I’ve been offered any long lasting treatment for, and now it makes sense.

After a lot of fighting I am now getting surgery for my endo, but that took years of work.

And now I know why.

Lupus is a serious fucking condition.

They all are, but if one of them is gonna kill me anytime soon, chances are the lupus will do the job.

But the only treatment they’re willing to offer at this time is pain management.

Maybe, when, not if, when, I get worse they’ll try something else, but probably not.

Because I’m a lost cause, a moneypit, a person beyond the hope of rehabilitating enough to help society.

But I’m still a person.

I deserve a life, and I know I, even if a wreck, can do little things to make others happy.

Make a little bit of change.

A disabled friend once told me he’s so tired of having to be either a hero or a tragedy to able bodies people.

Because sometimes, we’re both. Or neither. And that’s okay.

We are so much more than ableism wants us to be.

I’m not even sure what I wanted to say with this, other than the fact that I know talking about these things are the only ways things change, that people open their eyes, and that we can grow together.

Thank you so, so much if you read all of this.

Thank you ♥️

[simpforchuchu]

Hello helloo, 🌟anon here popping up again^^

I ended up rereading the sister request that I sent previously over and over and the cobra's sister X fujio rlly goes up my lane frfr ✋😭

You did mention that you preferred writing oneshots before, so if you could, can I have a oneshot where Cobra's sister came with Jamuo to help out and she ends up treating the Oya Bois after the fight? Kind of like she learned first aid from Naomi and used those skills to help out.

Thank you in advance^^✨ Don't forget to get enough rest~

Fujio x Cobra's Lil Sis x Platonic!Murayama with Oya Boys

a/n: Hii! Thank you and here is your request I hope you like it :')♥️

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: hnl usual violence

"Fujio!"

The silence of the Oya High School, which had been quiet for a while, was broken by a shout. After the fight with Housen, Jamuo thought that everyone was in a very bad situation and their wounds needed to be cleaned, so he sought help from the first person that came to his mind.

Fujio stood up slowly at the familiar voice he heard from the stairs and looked at the door. He knew very well who this voice belonged to, and the voice sounded quite angry.

Y/n looked around in shock as she entered in a fury.Nakagoshi was helping to clean up to Nakaoka;  Tsuji was also helping to Shibaman.Tsukasa and Todoroki were sitting calmly in one of the sofas.Kiyoshi was wrapping Yasushi's head in bandages, and many people on the roof looked pretty bad...

Fujio, on the other hand, was staring at the young girl in front of the door with a stupid grin.

"Y/n-chan! It's very lovely to see you!"

Y/n looked at the boy who was looking at her with a silly smile and excited like a puppy and rolled her eyes in anger.

"I can't believe you! Look at you! What would happen if Murayama-san didn't come?"

Hearing Murayama's name, Todoroki called out from his place.

"We didn't need his help."

Y/n laughed and nodded

"You look very confident for idiots who just got out of a stupid fight."

Y/n glanced around again after all the boys shouted complaining.She rolled her eyes when she saw that Kiyoshi was not very good at wrapping Yasushi's head. She took her bag from her back, took out the first aid kit she had brought, and walked the two of them.

"You have to wrap it tighter, and you have to clean the wound well. It will get infected."

Kiyoshi listened to the young girl and stepped aside and y/n slowly wrapped Yasushi's head. Fujio was quite jealous that the young girl was taking care of others than him, so he faked a scream.

Fujio pouted, showing the small scar on his face as Y/n and the others looked at him in surprise.

"When are you going to help me, it hurts a lot, you know?"

While Tsukasa secretly laughed at his friend's attitude, y/n didn't realize that he was lying. The young girl quickly finished Yasushi's bandage and made Fujio sit on the side boards.

While Fujio was being taken care of like a baby by Y/n, she did not forget to scold the people around her. The young girl often told them how stupid they were.

While they were laughing among themselves, Murayama had already heard that y/n was in Oya.  He knew that beloved Cobra-chan's little sister was close with the little demons and did not trust them as he was an overprotective older brother.

When he entered through the roof door, he literally twitched when he saw that y/n was cleaning Fujio's wounds - they were very close to each other- and that Fujio was quite happy.

All the boys were looking at the three of them in surprise when Murayama quickly came to the two of them.

"Y/n-chan? What are you doing here? Does Cobra know you're here?"

Y/n had come without telling to her brother. Cobra doesnt like anyone from Sword so that's why they were sure to argue cause of today.

"Murayama-san! Please don't tell my brother. He doesn't like me coming here."

Murayama smiled at the young girl's sweet concern and patted her shoulder.

"Your brother has good reasons for not liking this place, y/n-chan. I told you before, this is a dangerous territory."

Y/n nodded silently as Fujio stood up and put his arm around her with a smile.

"We can protect her. So-"

"You can't protect even yourself, idiots."

Murayama spoke contemptuously and pulled Fujio's arm away from the young girl.

"Y/n, we're going home. And you... We'll talk to you later."

Fujio frowned as Y/n nodded and waved to her friends. Even though they were all annoyed by this situation, they couldn't say anything to Murayama...

[nothingidputbeforeyou]

Hey there, tumblr friends! I’m back for now to try and help one of our own. I don’t know how many of you remember MilaVish and her excellent Sam and Dean gifs and edits but chances are that if you’ve been in our part of the fandom for any amount of time you’ve reblogged her gifs with the little MV watermark at the bottom.

Milana is from Ukraine and her apartment building was a recent target in the war there. She was home asleep at the time and woke up to find the apartment on fire. She was forced to jump from her balcony to save herself. It was very high up and she landed on asphalt breaking her back and sustaining burns from the fire. She lost everything in her apartment including her laptop. She can’t remember her password for tumblr to log in from another device so I’m here to post this for her.

She lost pretty much everything and after being released from the hospital she got a secondary infection that endangered her health all over again. She has nowhere to live and is currently renting a room with money she borrowed. I know things are tough for everyone right now but if anyone can help even a little, she would be very grateful.

Here’s her thread on Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/MilanaVish/status/1588102754282643456

And her PayPal: milanavishn@gmail.com

Thank you!!

EDIT: if you would maybe consider signal boosting that would be a huge help as well ♥️

[toy-with-eli]

Hey, I hope you had a good start into the new year? 😇

Mine was mediocre, I got infected with a flu and just stayed at home in bed all week 🥲

But now I'm slowly getting better and I'll try to be more active again ♥️

💋

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Okay first you have a lung/chest infection and now you’re eye-

It’s like when you start reading someone on Ao3 and they have to stop the fic for the most outlandish reasons lmaoo (once I read that a writer had to stop because they kissed a turtle and got salmonella)

Either way, I hope all goes well♥️

Lmaoooo literally me. “Hey guys sorry I haven’t posted for a while, I accidentally buried myself in my garden”

Thank you darling! 💕