Tumgik
#i wish i could just chill out sometimes
litttlestars · 2 years
Text
what they dont tell you about feeling too much is the overwhelming anger and frustration side of it and the guilt you feel afterwards for feeling that way over smt so small and trying to convince yourself that you're not an awful person over it
857 notes · View notes
marsixm · 6 months
Text
ocd rly sucks sometimes bc i swear my paranoia just shoots me in the foot with my personal life so bad
8 notes · View notes
noxcorvid · 17 hours
Text
mod idea i want to see realized but don't have the technical skill for: making the falmer in the forgotten vale non-aggressive towards you once you kill vyrthur.. or a master-of-disguise extension where the falmer will recognize you as friendly when you're wearing falmer armor...
3 notes · View notes
frigidlyauthorial · 17 days
Text
code geass has definite flaws worthy of criticism but I will go down forever with the opinion that the Euphemia moment at the R1 finale was perfectly written and a brilliant addition to the show. People who say that it just happened for shock value and didn’t make sense for the characters are objectively incorrect. I can’t believe people think it’s bad just because it’s [checks notes] a tragic and shocking event in the tragedy and shock show.
2 notes · View notes
six-of-cringe · 1 year
Text
you know what i'll say it. the we didn't start the fire cover is dumb and silly, maybe even mid. It is still not some moral detriment that they didn't include every important historical event or that pop culture was referenced. have you listened to the original song
14 notes · View notes
toastsnaffler · 8 months
Text
everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
5 notes · View notes
sherlock-is-ace · 8 months
Text
.
2 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
...
#it is truly so wild to go from feeling miserable and hopeless all the time for... lets look at my excel sheet#the last 23 days. then to suddenly rocket up to smiling to myself all day. the world is so fucking beautiful#for no rational reason aside from what i have to assume is a chemical shift in my body#like is this what happy ppl feel like all the time? its truely so crazy. have i always been like this?#did i not notice this was a thing? like ive definitely noticed it in the last year but like ???#my suspicion is that it doesnt actually last long enough to b considered hypomania but like idk i should see a doctor probably lol#u would think being happy would make it easier to do things but i just keep forgetting to do them and just like spacing out lol bc rn i#feel chill. even tho i need to make a list of the shit i gotta do by Friday. bleh. but idk it makes being in thr lab so much nicer bc i#mean. i still dont give a fuck abt what im doing but im like fuck it this isnt gonna b my problem in like 2-3 months. even tho im sure ill#still have to write up everything. but idk. it also makes it easier to b like. ok so i kno what my problems r lets plan yo make things not#so horrible so u dont just live a miserable life and then like die having lived a life of fear. like its so crazy how much easier thst is#to do rn??? well see how long it lasts but yea v strange. wish i could control my fucking focus tho. like that would b great#its like the fucking painting of hypnose. my focus is like a lighthouse wildly swinging its light around until it sometimes blasts me in#the face. like not helpful. i need to b able to do things.#i guess the weird thing rn is thst while i feel happy. i also have this like simmering fear of irrational things. like when i used to live#in my parents basement and i was terrified of the dark rooms down there at night. like that kind of childish baseless fear#but like im in i tiny tiny apartment lol like bro what r u scared of??? silly silly silly#idk hopefully it holds out the whole rest of the week and then i can travel and see my parents like !!! yo !!! happy vibes :-D#that would b kinda unhinged lmao. i doubt itll last thst long. its already slipped from this morning so we shall see#unrelated
7 notes · View notes
imwritesometimes · 1 year
Text
every day I want to cover the last tattoo I got more & more cause God forbid someone think I got it cause of a certain fandom..................
2 notes · View notes
pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
Text
I've been popping pills like they're candy lately. (Also known as I've been in pain a lot and my allergies are horrible bc of all the mold in my room).
#diary#personal#on another note entirely that i didnt want to put it in the main thing. i feel so. different from what ppl know me as sometimes#like. i may talk to you. and you may think you know me. but do you really? ive been thinking. if ppl met me would they even like me?#like. when i have meltdowns or sensory overload or just need time to chill n stim. or just lay down n nap#like. idk if others could tollerate that of me. if i met someone irl and arent heavily masking my personality you can tell im strange#fuck. just today i spent like 5-10 mins just. tapping on my collarbones hard bc it feels nice feeling ur bones vibrate#idk. like. honeslty i cant even put it into words and speaking itself is so ineffective tbh.#it just really sucks tho. cuz i mask so much of myself so much of the time. i mask the pain. i mask my happiness.#heck i even mask everything inbetween.#honestly i sorta just dont believe anyone would like me if i acted how i want to. like. i am very autistic natually. VERY AUTISTIC#i just hide all of that for everyones comfort and it makes things activly less enjoyable for me.#idk. i just. want to go out. cling to someone i care about and make them guide me. wear noise cancelling headphones everywhere#i rly just want to never go anywhere loud or crowded (even tho i like trying new food n things).#i want to jump up and down when im happy. run when i feel. scream if i want. cry if i need.#id like it if someone saw me meltdown or shutdown they wouldnt freak out.#id like to be able to mess up things in social situations and it wouldnt matter. i just wouldnt worry about if id still have a friend.#id like to be able to be heard when i say no i cant have/do that. i really wish that was the case even now.#i. really have just become so much more autistic the more ive focused on myself. my needs and my feelings .#like. today my dad wanted to order something that *admittedly* is the exact same thing i was gonna order.#HOWEVER THERE IS ONE KEY DIFFERENCE. IT IS NOT WHAT I PICKED OUT. so what if its different from what i want????#i cant have that!! so i panicked a lot. and he repeatedly ignored me when i said no i dont want x food.#eventually mom stepped in and made it so i got what i wanted.#yknow? existing hurts so much. just all of the time too. i keep on coming back lately to the same thought.#over and over and over again on repeat. just. idk. its hard to explain.#i keep on thinking how itd be better if i was like replaced with someone else. if someone else was born instead of me.#like. im utterly useless. but maybe if only x sperm was born instead of me they wouldnt be like me. idk.#maybe then everyone would be happy. maybe then theyd be able to work and make my parents and everyone else happy.#theyd be able to fit in. they could lead a much better life than me. i wish i wasnt so utterly useless.#i just want a long break. its exhausting living and im not rly cut out for it. too bad i wont get one anytime soon. god i hate this.
2 notes · View notes
rottenomelet · 9 months
Text
i feel like i should clarify that im not a dedicated sort of blog. i really do just post when and if i feel like it. no one’s rushing me or anything and everyone who interacts is super kind but i just want to set this as a reminder to new followers (and to myself) that this is a really chill place.
0 notes
floral-hex · 11 months
Text
maybe we don’t tell my therapist tomorrow that I stayed up late getting high and then browsing through old friends on facebook until my self esteem collapsed
#cmon everyone makes mistakes at 2 in the morning#I don’t make good mental health decisions after midnight#dumb dumb dumb#whatever. time isn’t real. it’s done. I didn’t marry some college sweetheart have kids & settle down. too late for that. whatever. ya butt#trying to keep a mellow head#it’s just.. blegh. all these people I used to know. they all lived their own little lives. I was just a footnote. whoosh. gone. blegh#why did I even start snooping?#I don’t even like fb! it’s terrible! I never use it#but I do miss waaaay back when it was only for students. it had like games and you could blog on it#and of course I had friends and I was young and everything just felt so alive#oof I swear I’m not trying to fall into sad old man mode#I guess I’m just always going to wish I’d.. ya know.. had a basic normal life#partner. a kid or two. married and happy and in a home with a career and bowling with friends on the weekend#I know it’s still a possibility. but I always feel like the end is near#like I’m in the end days and I can feel it. the lights are going dark. the world is almost over#I’m just crawling around on its cooling corpse#but this is…. way too pessimistic#life goes on. my outlook is bleak and that affects my worldview. if I were happy and in love and whatever of course I’d be more positive#sometimes you just have to tell yourself to stop being so fucking negative and chill out#life could be good. maybe soon. maybe sooner than you think.#and if the world does end I’ll just highjack a dunebuggy and live out my mad max fantasies. whatever dude. fuck it#so yeah anyway I got really high earlier and then uhhhhhhjackedoff a lot and then crashed and got nostalgia fucked#it’s not that serious#you can ignore this#text
1 note · View note
thatsouthernstate · 1 year
Text
September 11, 2023
Pure love
It's twelve past midnight
Tumblr media
Don't close your eyes
Your soul's half alive
And I'll be by your side
I've come to take you there
Show you how to care
Just be aware
That you'll have to share
I want your love
I want it tonight
Tumblr media
I'm taking your heart
So don't you fight
I'll be your answer
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
Your favorite dish
From the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end
100% pure love
From the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end
100% pure love
You saw a brand new high
Tumblr media
Thought that you could fly
Tumblr media
Did I hear you cry
Tumblr media
Or did you like the ride?
Tumblr media
You call my name again
No, it's not a sin
I'll show you how to win
And where I've been
I want your love
I want it tonight
I'm taking your heart
So don't you fight
I'll be your answer
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
Your favorite dish
Tumblr media
From the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end
100% pure love
From the back to the middle
And around again (Don't you want it, don't you want it?)
I'm gonna be there till the end (Don't you want it, don't you want it?)
100% pure love (Don't you want it, don't you want it?)
From the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end
100% pure love
From the back to the middle
And around again (Don't you want it, don't you want it?)
I'm gonna be there till the end (Don't you want it, don't you want it?)
100% pure love (Don't you want it, don't you want it?)
You'll never have to run away
You'll always have a friend to play
You'll never go out on your own
In me
You will find a home
Home
From the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end of
100% pure love
From the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end
100% pure love
From the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end of
The back to the middle
And around again
The back to the middle
And around again
The back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And around again
The back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And around again
I'm gonna be there till the end
The back to the middle
And around again
The back to the middle
And around again
The back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And the back to the middle
And around again
Tumblr media
The back to the middle
And the back to the middle
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
Don't you want it, don't you want it?
You'll always have a friend to play
Tumblr media
Not 10, not 20, more than 30, baby
I'm givin' 100% pure love
I'm talkin' 20, talkin' 30, more than 40, baby
I'm givin' 100% pure love
0 notes
writtenapoiogy · 2 months
Text
consumed by flames; jacaerys velaryon
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: jacaerys velaryon x f!reader
summary: bathtub funtime 18+
word count: 2.0k
warnings: nsfw. 18+, smut, MINORS DNI, porn w lil plot, bathtub sex, jacaerys is a pleaser, jacaerys loves wife!reader and creating heirs, fingering, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, slight a little more than slight choking, breeding kink, slight dirty talk.
a/n: briefly proofread yet again it is 1am almost 2 and i've been up since 5am yesterday but i had to get this out 😁
You and Jace had just come back from a ride on Vermax. After the war, life on Dragonstone had been peaceful for a short while. Sometimes you wish you and Jace could lock yourselves away at Dragonstone and just kick everyone else out. That sadly, was not possible.
It had been a couple of months since Queen Rhaenyra took her rightful seat on the Iron Throne.
Which means the two of you were also still newlyweds.
Due to the war, You and Jacaerys had to wait to wed, which was dreadful for both parties. Once Rhaenyra had her coronation your wedding ceremony soon took place.
Within the two months since You and Jacaerys spent half that time at the Red Keep enjoying the celebrations and helping get Jace’s younger siblings settled in.
Nearly every day following your wedding, you and your husband had laid together. Every time better than the last.
You and Jacaerys had only been back at Dragonstone for roughly two weeks. The first week was spent wrapped in each other’s warmth. The smells of sex never leaving your chambers. Jacaerys was a man on a mission. He constantly wanted to please you. Teasing you till he knew he was the only one that could satisfy you the way you craved.
After that pleasure-filled week, everything sort of died down. You and Jace had been busy with the tasks of being the Prince and Princess of Dragonstone. A weight you were not expecting to be hit with.
Your handmaiden had drawn you a bath to rid you of the sweat and scent of smoke that seeped into your skin. You were about to take off your robe and step into the hot water when your husband walked through the door.
“Jacaerys?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you took in your husband clad in a robe. “My husband, if you also wish to bathe I am sure we can get someone to draw you one aswell.”
It just dawned on you that this was the first time You and Jace had been alone in almost a week. Alone. Alone without one or the other being asleep. The stresses and demands of the day taking a toll on one of you or, sometimes, both of you.
“I do not wish to bathe alone.” He glided over to you and began to untie your robe. “I do miss my wife.”
Jacaerys ran his hands down your sternum after loosening the knot. You took a deep inhale feeling his fiery touch against your ice-cold skin.
“I keep my bath water quite scalding, my love. I do not wish to harm your skin.”
Jacaerys looked at you with a smirk. “You know the words of House Targaryen. I am Fire and Blood. Warm water will not harm me.”
Jacaerys was right about one thing. He was Fire and Blood. Everything he did set you ablaze. From the way he spoke to the way he looked at you. Oh, gods, and his touch. It was like his hands were made of molten lava. A beautiful contrast to your frigid skin. His warmness brought a sense of comfort to you.
“How could I forget.”
Jace’s lip twitched into a smile. He loved you with his entire being. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky. He placed his lips on yours in a sweet soft kiss. “Let me help wash you.” He spoke against your lips
“As you wish, my prince.” You stole another kiss from him. Missing his soft lips.
He pushed your robe off your shoulders and watched it cascade to the floor. You breathe in a sharp inhale as your body gets overtaken by the chill in the air. Your nipples harden and Jace cannot take his eyes off of them, even if he tried.
He offers his hand and you gladly take it. He walked you over to the tub not letting go till you had both of your feet in the water. Jace went to grab the new lavender soap that was imported specifically at your request.
As he walked back towards you, you couldn’t help but notice the tent in his robe. Seeing that made you feel an ache deep inside of you. An emptiness that you need to be filled.
“Just lean back, let me take care of you my sweet.”
Jacaerys wet the bar of soap and lathered it onto his hands. The sweet and calm scent engulfed his sense of smell. He set the soap down and began washing you. He started at your neck and shoulders slowly and firmly massaging the soap into your skin
He did this across the entirety of your body. Jace’s touch brought your body aflame. He was avoiding the parts of you that craved his touch, intensely. You let out a low whine when his hands ran down your side lightly passing over the sides of your breasts. The slightest brush and this man had your body consumed by flames.
You heard a light chuckle from behind you. “Do you find something amusing, Husband?”
Jacaerys shook his head, “Not at all.” He placed a wet kiss on your neck, inhaling your lavender-infused skin. He ran his hands back up and cupped your breasts this time, you couldn’t help but moan.
“Jacaerys…”
And his hands went back down this time spreading your legs apart and you felt the air leave your lungs.
“Jacaerys..”
He was dragging his hands close to your heat. It was right there. And just when you thought he was going to help dull this ache, he withdrew his hands, again.
“Jace, please. You know what I crave. Why are you withholding it from me.”
“Because it is fun.”
You could feel his sly smirk against your neck.
“Say please.” He demanded, his hands cupping your breasts and tweaking your nipples. He was making it incredibly hard to focus on anything.
“Plea-.”
“In High Valyrian.”
He had been getting you to learn High Valyrian. Something about you knowing his mother tongue made him swell with pride. It made him feel as though it would make your family stronger once you have children.
Also, he found it very very hot.
“Kostilus.”
“Hmm, that’s my girl.” Jacaerys brought one hand to your cheek turning your face to his, to take your lips in a fiery heat.
As soon as his mouth hit yours, your own fell agape. You craned your neck desperately wanting to feel his tongue against yours. Oh, how you both missed this. Feeling so needy for each other. Your tongues lapped at the other. You let out whines and whimpers into his mouth.
His right hand stopped toying with your nipples and slid down to your core. Jace rubbed light circles against your clit, eliciting a moan from deep inside your chest. His hand that was on your cheeky slowly slid down your throat till he wrapped his long fingers around it. This made you break away from the kiss. His amber eyes had such a dark look in them. As if you too lit him aflame.
Feeling him around you like this made you dizzy. Engulfed in his smell. In his heat. The fire in his blood.
When Jace thought you had had enough torture he slid two digits into your entrance, making you gasp at the sudden intrusion.
“Fuck, Jace.” Your head lulled back onto his shoulder. You kept eye contact with him. Jace felt some precome leak from his throbbing cock as he looked at you like this. Spread out for him. Slowly grinding your hips down on his fingers. He added a bit more pressure around your neck. Watching as your mouth fell open, you tried to get some more air in your lungs. Solely depending on him for your air, for your desires, for everything.
He kept pumping his fingers into you a such a slow murderous pace. You don’t know how he does it but he had you shaking on the verge of your climax in mere minutes. You were squirming, moaning his name and a litany of curses. You pulled your hand out of the bath water and threw it into his curls. A guttural moan left your lips when the pads of his fingers hit that soft spot deep inside of you.
You came around his fingers with a deep mewl gripping and pulling his hair in the process. The act caused him to whine in your ear. It had been too long. He kept pumping his fingers into you bringing you down from your high. He removed his other hand from your neck and was rubbing you anywhere his hand could reach as he whispered in your ear in High Valyrian. Telling you how good you did.
Somehow in your daze, you understood him.“Get in here with me, please. I wish to feel your skin against mine.” You breathed.
Jacaerys is quick to shed his robe. He pushed you forward slightly and climbed in right behind you. He situated you so that he was able to rub his cock threw your folds. Your chest pressed against his back. You sigh at the feeling of his warm body against yours.
You began to rock your hips, feeling his cock rub through your slit with ease. You heard him breathing heavily in your ear.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
You tried to speak and tell him how desperately you craved for him to be inside of you. But all you could do was babble. The sensation of his tip as it hit your clit over and over again.
“I know, you do not have to say it. Gods, I know.” Jace lifted you up just enough to position himself at your entrance. He swiftly wrapped his left around around you and slowly eased you onto his cock.
You both gasp when he’s fully seated within you. The head of his cock mushed against that spot again. He somehow always knew how to get to it. Jacaerys, with one hand on your ass cheek and his other wrapped around you, slowly lifted you before he slammed you back down on him. A whimper left your lips, your hands flew to the sides of the bath to prepare yourself for his onslaught.
Even when he was going harder or faster he still managed to fuck you with so much love and tenderness.
Jace began slow. Let you get used to him inside of you again. His pace, which quickened by his third deep thrust, had you saying his name in a tantalizing prayer. He kept going constantly hitting your gspot over and over again. The repetition. The mere torture against your most sensitive spot had you reeling.
Water splashing.
You two moaning each other’s names.
And the smell of lavender and sex was all-consuming to the both of you.
You didn’t know what kind of sounds were leaving your mouth nor did you care. Right now all you cared about was that your sweet husband was finally back inside of you. Pleasing you the way you loved. The way he always does.
Your hips bounced with his movements out of pure instinct. “Jacaerys. Please.” You didn’t even know what you were pleading for at this point. But he did. He coaxed you into your second climax of the night. This one hit you hard. Drenching him in your release. You could feel yourself pulsating around his cock. Begging him to come inside of you over and over again.
Jace groaned at the sensation of you coming around him. “Oh you’re gonna look so perfect when my seed takes. When you get all plump from having our heir inside of you.” He kept pumping into you. His thrusts now getting erratic.
“Yes, Gods, please.” You said in a satisfied gasp.
Even his seed was hot. As he came inside of you, you felt his searing essence flow into your cunt. You bore yourself down on him. You wanted nothing more than to keep all of him come inside of you. You wanted to give him an heir. You needed it. You needed his seed to take. The thought of you carrying his child mixed with the feeling of his come leaking out of you had you coming again.
“Fuck.” Jacaerys leaned his forehead against your back as he caught his breath. “We should take more baths together.”
You chuckle, “Oh but how will we ever keep clean, my prince.”
3K notes · View notes
kyletogaz · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
title: not your usual [redacted] story pairing: johnny x plus-sized fem!reader summary: there’s a reason why he won’t leave. cw: smut with feelings, johnny being a menace to society words: 3k+
Tumblr media
you really shouldn't be surprised to see your neighbor johnny chilling on your couch when you walk through the door, but you are.
you could have sworn you told him you wanted to be alone today.
that man has a habit of loitering in your apartment whenever you’re out. you’d be so irritated whenever you came home to see him lounging on your couch, as if he was the one paying the damn bills around here. you've told him to fuck off plenty of times, but he refuses. and it’s not like you can have him physically removed either.
try it if ye wan’ to, hen.
you’ve filed multiple complaints with your landlord, but he just looks at you like you’re crazy, before asking you if you’re unwell. because you weren’t sure what he meant by that, you stopped coming to him. maybe he was the crazy one.
fed up, you threatened to call the cops on johnny’s ass. your threats did nothing to keep him away though, it only made him worse. walking around your apartment with his stupid boots on, even though you’ve asked him a thousand times to take them off. rearranging things on your coffee table, opening your mail, stealing your underwear, and snooping through your personal items. hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if he slept in your bed whenever you were away.
you think johnny’s favorite thing to do, just to further the torment, is to throw away your toys. and it’s even worse when he makes slick comments about you needing a real cock in your pussy. at the time, you were so stunned, your words had failed you when you tried to tell him off.
and then there’s his mouth. johnny’s a yapper. he never stops talking, whether it’s about the military, his family, or his friends. any information you didn’t ask for, he’ll tell you all about it anyway. sometimes you find his incessant talking endearing. it made you feel less lonely in your apartment. other times, you really wish you could glue his mouth shut for a few hours, just to have some quiet time.
you think the most off putting thing about johnny is the creepy shit he does, things that make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. it always has you thinking he’s not entirely human. the unnerving staring, when he's lying down and his body is perfectly still, too still for it to be considered normal. or when johnny doesn't blink at all, and you’ve convinced yourself that there’s something terribly wrong with him. and he’s always looming when he’s close to you. it scares the shit out of you, but you never bring it up.
if you didn’t know any better, you’d say johnny mactavish was haunting you.
when johnny gives you a lazy wave, you don’t bother getting yourself worked up, as you breeze past him to get to your bedroom. all you do is offer him two words, “get out."
johnny follows you like a damn puppy of course. "bunny, ye dinnae mean that,” he whines, a pout already forming on his lips while he’s leaning against your doorframe.
you fix him with a glare when you hear the nickname he’s given you. “how many times do i have to tell you to stop calling me that? and i meant every word, johnny. go home.” you’re exhausted and you just want some peace and quiet. you want him to leave.
but johnny doesn’t leave. he’s told you time and time again he doesn’t answer to you.
asshole, you think to yourself, before rolling your eyes at him.
your peace lasts for all of five minutes, before johnny starts touching your shit. you’re rummaging through your closet, when you hear your dresser drawers being slammed shut. when you turn your head, your eyes narrow in suspicion at the sight of johnny feigning innocence, as if he didn’t just have his hands on a pair of your panties.
“do i come to your house and meddle in your shit? stay out of my dresser, johnny!” you can feel a scream trying to work its way out of your mouth, but you suppress it. you really wish he would go terrorize someone else.
yeah right, as if that’ll ever happen.
your eye actually twitches when he flings himself onto your bed and gets comfortable. you’re obviously staring at him longer than you should be, because your breath hitches a little when his shirt rides up, giving you a lovely view of muscles and body hair. your not so subtle staring turns into full blown gawking when johnny slips a hand into the waistband of his sweatpants, making your mouth go dry the same time slick starts to gather in your panties.
shit.
you snap out of it when you realize that this is johnny you’re ogling. “get out of my bed, mactavish.” your words come out colder than intended. you try not to shrink away when piercing blue eyes meet your gaze.
“what’s wi’ that attitude of yers, bunny?” johnny asks coolly. there’s an edge to his tone and a tick in his jaw. “need me tae fuck it out of ye?” he snorts at the scandalized look you give him.
“as if i would ever let you touch me!”
Tumblr media
that was over 24 hours ago when you made that statement, and now here you were on your back, pussy wet, and full of want while johnny took his sweet time exploring your soft body.
"why are you so damn cold?" you hiss when two large hands cups your tits, a whine leaving your throat when the hands are suddenly replaced by johnny’s hot, wet mouth.
he ignores your question, hoping you won’t ask again. it’s not like you can anyway, with the way he’s distracting you with his mouth. he licks and sucks your nipples until they’re covered in his saliva. a soft laugh slips past his lips when your fingers sink into his overgrown mohawk, as you drag him up for a kiss.
johnny puts everything into the kiss. he’s nipping at your bottom lip and doing his best to shove his tongue down your throat. you pull away to gasp softly when his thick fingers slip between your slick folds, letting out a pitiful sound of disappointment when he removes them almost immediately. and then he’s pressing those glistening fingers to your lips and telling you to open up. when you don’t move fast enough, he pries your mouth open then slips his fingers in.
“taste yerself, bun.” you do as you’re told, sucking your own pussy juice off johnny’s fingers. you ignore the way your heart flutters when he coos at you and calls you his good girl and tells that he would have done this sooner if it would have kept you from hissing and spitting at him like a damn cat. he’s got you right where he wants you, in bed and eager to take his cock.
johnny loves the way you whine and spread your legs wider for him when he drags his cock up and down your sticky folds, smearing precum all over your pussy. you have to stop yourself from begging, when he teases your hole with the tip of his cock. he does it repeatedly, until you’re blinking away tears of frustration.
you sniffle when he cups your jaw and says in a sickeningly sweet tone, “poor bunny, thought ye hated me. now look at ye beggin’ for mah cock.” the laugh he lets out is mean and it hurts your feelings.
“please,” you whimper, voice cracking and eyes full of tears. “i don’t hate you, johnny.” you may be telling the truth, but he looks a bit skeptical.
you open your mouth to speak again, but johnny’s already feeding his cock into your pussy, inch by inch, and groaning because of how wet and tight you are. the way your spongy walls clench around him when he’s fully engulfed, is enough to make his head spin.
“fuck, bunny. ye feel so good stretched out aroun’ mah cock,” johnny moans in your ear. “feels like this cunt was made f’me.”
the first thrust knocks the air out of your lungs and has you shrieking and clawing at the skin on johnny’s back. “do that again,” you beg breathlessly, not caring if you sound desperate. you want him to ruin you.
like the obedient mutt he is, johnny obeys, and does it again and again and again, until you’re wailing and creaming around his cock. you’re a bit shocked at how fast your orgasm crept up on you. not offering you any respite, johnny demands for you to give him one more, and you almost tell him that you’ll give him anything, as long as he keeps fucking you like this. he’s fucking you like it’s his last night on earth, his fingers intertwined with yours, while he moans and pants in your ear. johnny’s fat cock pistoning in and out of your fat pussy while he hits your g-spot repeatedly is almost too much for you to handle.
all you can do you is cry and writhe up under johnny while he gives you the best dick of your life. your pussy nearly strangles him to death when he chants mine mine mine with every snap of his hips. you're not his. you can't be, you refuse. and yet, when johnny asks whose pussy is this? you sob and tell him, it’s yours, johnny.
“what about ye?” he asks through gritted teeth, “yer mine, yeah?”
there’s no hesitation in your voice when you answer with a breathy, “yes, i’m yours.”
deep down, you feel like you’ve bonded yourself to him with those three words.
“thas’ right, bunny. mine. gonna keep ye forever,” johnny snarls, before sinking his teeth into the soft skin of your throat and giving a powerful thrust that has you howling his name and digging your nails into his back.
he’s marking you as his.
you’ll panic later when you’re not getting fucked stupid and johnny’s thick fingers aren’t toying with your puffy clit. he doesn’t stop rubbing your sensitive bud until your back is arching and your thighs are shaking, as your orgasm hits you like a freight train.
“ye okay, bunny?” johnny asks once you can breathe again. his brow is furrowed in concentration and his forehead is slick with sweat while he continues to grind into your pussy, groaning at the filthy squelching sounds coming from between your thighs.
you answer with a garbled moan. how are you supposed to give him a coherent response when his cock is making you see stars and driving you insane.
johnny lets out a huff of laughter, before he rolls off of you and pulls you on top of him, using one hand to guide his length back into your slick pussy. “c’mon bunny, be nice for once and fuck me.”
soft cries spill from your lips when you start to grind your overstimulated pussy on johnny’s cock. with your head tossed back, you can’t see the way he stares up at you in complete and utter adoration. he’s enjoying the way your tits and belly bounce while you ride his leaking cock, and the way you cry out his name and claw at his chest. johnny’s so enamored with you and you don’t even know it.
he still hasn’t worked up the courage to tell you his secret, something he should have told you before you let him touch you. he’s been wanting to for weeks, but he’s never found the right time to do so. it’s getting harder for him to keep a lid on it. simon keeps telling him to end it. she’ll go running for the hills when she finds out what you are. he told johnny to stop coming by your place, to leave you alone and let you live your life. but johnny’s selfish. he’ll never leave let you go, especially now that he’s finally got you split open on his cock.
“fuck, ‘m gonna cum,” johnny moans, his grip on the your hips almost painful.
you cum before he does, pussy spasming and choking his cock while you moan his name, “johnny!”
the way you say his name unlocks something in him. johnny holds you close to his chest, murmuring soft words against your lips that you don’t even think are being spoken in english, thrusts becoming more frenzied as he fucks up into your worn out pussy. he doesn’t stop until up his thrusts become sloppy and his hips stutter. the drawn out moan that leaves his throat when he fills you to the brim with his cum is like music to your ears.
when johnny comes down, he strokes his hands up and down your back. he asks you if you’re okay, and all you can do is whimper. you’re a little surprised at how sweet he is with aftercare, bathing you and helping you get dressed before he puts you to bed. and the last thing you feel before you fall asleep, is a pair of cool lips on your forehead.
Tumblr media
“you sure you gave me the correct name? there are no tenants in the building who goes by the name johnny. i've checked the records several times for previous tenants as well."
what?
"i don't understand," you blurt out, sounding as confused as you probably look. "this isn't making sense. what about the name john? have you tried that?”
"i did that as well,” your landlord says. he gives you a look of concern when you let out a groan. “are you sure this johnny person isn’t a squatter?”
he can’t be. johnny knows too much about the people and their business in this building. he wasn’t a squatter.
you shook your heard at the old man, “that’s not possible.”
your landlord just simply shrugs and says, “well if he isn’t a squatter, then he probably lives with one of the residents in this building.“
“well, that’s just perfect,” you mutter, voice dripping with sarcasm and a hint of annoyance.
how the hell are you even supposed to find the person johnny could possibly be living with? you don’t know half of the people in your building. they’ll probably think you’re insane if you knock on their door to ask them if they’re harboring a scot with an overgrown mohawk.
before your annoyance can settle in, you ask the man if any of your neighbors are in the military. it’s the best place to start if you’re going to track johnny down. and luckily for you, there is one person who goes by the name of simon riley.
you stare at the computer screen in surprise when you spot simon’s apartment number. “he lives on my floor,” you utter in disbelief.
“yes,” the bespectacled man confirms. “across the hall and just a few doors down. he’s retired from the military. think he’s a butcher now.”
you’re already out of the door and thanking him before he can blink. you make your way up to your floor with johnny on the brain. you haven’t seen him in almost a week, and it feels like he’s avoiding you. it takes every ounce of strength you’ve got in you, to keep from having a breakdown. after he’d fucked you six ways to sunday, you woke up thinking johnny would still be curled around you, but he wasn’t. he’d left, and you’d never felt so alone. much to your dismay, your eyes start to sting as the urge to cry presents itself.
johnny owed you an explanation for his actions, and you were going to get one.
you’re not sure how long you stand in front of simon’s door, just staring at the silver number plates, before you work up the nerve to knock. you bite your lip nervously when you hear the someone unlocking the door. you almost took a step back when the door swung open to reveal a hulking figure. it was definitely simon. he was so fucking big and pretty.
“you must be johnny’s bird,” he says gruffly, lips quirking up into a small smile. “was wonderin’ when you would show up.”
you stare up at simon in surprise, before murmuring a soft greeting. “is he inside?”
simon offers you a silent nod, before stepping aside to let you in. when you walk through the foyer and into the living room, you swear you him mutter something about you not being the only person johnny haunts. but then he’s speaking again, louder this time. “show yourself, mactavish,” he barks, before taking a seat on the sofa.
and leave it up to johnny to make an appearance that almost scares you half to death. he walks right through the wall to your right, making you flinch away from him with a terrified shriek.
johnny froze, and so did you. somewhere in the background you can hear rumbling laughter. you must be losing your mind, because there was absolutely no fucking way johnny just walked through simon’s wall. a wall that’s supposed to be solid, a wall that a human shouldn’t even be able to phase through.
and then it all comes rushing back to you at once. johnny popping up whenever he wanted, even when you asked him to relinquish the key you thought he stole from your landlord. never hearing your door shut when you finally managed to convince him that you needed your alone time. you thought about how johnny knew certain things you thought no one should know. the creepy comments he would make about death. when he never tasted any of the food you offered. he’d spent most of his time lying through his teeth about having a special diet.
you know what he is now, but you can’t bring yourself to say it. you’ll probably scream if you do.
“bunny?! fuck, ye wasn’t supposed tae see that. christ, simon why would ye let her—”
“johnny….what?” your voice sounds faint to your own ears and you’re not feeling too great.
“bunny? shit, bunny?!”
johnny’s hands are on your arms, but you’re not really feeling him or hearing his words.
the last thing you see before your world tilts on its axis, is a pair of worried blue eyes.
-
a/n: what is he? and at want point in the fic did you realize it? maybe i’ll do a 2nd part.
masterlist
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
esoteriamaya · 2 months
Text
astro thoughts - short n sweet <3 pluto in the house
Tumblr media
Pluto in the 1st house - Very strong auras. Could deliberately see through bs a mile away. Not gifted in being friendly, lol just kidding. Their not 'nice' though. And they don't have to be. They don't like faking the funk so this pretty much gives them an interesting outlook on people and they way they see themselves. Can shift the whole room with just their magic. Can be very intimidating to some, but very inspiring to others.
Pluto in the 2nd house - Could have financial issues from time to time. Not likely to say the same thing twice, if they said it once they meant it. Dont bother them again about it. These individuals can use their psychic senses to make money if that is what they wish, they could be very therapeutic to say the least. Give em a chance, they really wouldn't hurt a fly.
Pluto in the 3rd house - There speech is very compelling. They could hold a room with just their words and it could open the minds of a few listening to them. They have a gift in impacting you with just the way that they think, making you beg for more each day at a time.
Pluto in the 4th house - Could of had a transformative experience at home and I don't mean that nicely. There are somethings that should be left unsaid but sometimes things need a reawakening. They don't seem to let things go here.. but why would they? There past is like a haunting story awaiting to be unraveled just so you can piece together the puzzles that we're left unfinished. They are quiet when it comes to their personal life and hide themselves from the world so that you won't get an inkling of what truly is masked behind the bushes.
Pluto in the 5th house - Very deep bonds with their art work and can do a performance like no other. They will have you feeling every bit of emotion in their vibration just to help you feel what the character is feeling. I noticed there are a lot of good actors with this placement. Anywho, they have a powerful presence and when it comes to dating them or even just experiencing them for a little while it can be a transformative, healing experience for people involved with them.
Pluto in the 6th house - Like their martians mates in the 6th house, these people can have a pretty interesting experience here. They have a tendency to be obsessive over what they want so they work as much as they can until the wheels falls off. This could become a problem if they don't think to chill out on working and sacrificing their well being for something out side of themself.
Pluto in the 7th house - Deep, penetrating raw auras. Could be self-reflective on the way they see things, themselves , others and just the world at large. They have a gift of discernment but most of them never use the gift and can get caught up into the wrong things sometimes. There is more than what meets the eye with these individuals. They never let others in so easily, sometimes they're worth the wait. ;)
Pluto in the 8th house - Really good at seeing through things that others just can't seem to pick up on. Really gifted in occult sciences. Have issues with commitment and could have trouble with individuals because of traumatic experiences in past lives or current one. Could have people who want to be around them just to unravel them, but not really want to be with them. Have a very mysterious presence, hard to read.
Pluto in the 9th house - Very interesting and their thoughts can penetrate the mind in so many ways. They will leave you speechless when its all over. They travel to different places all the time but they are pretty good at finding places that match their flow, and love ot bring anyone along for the ride. There just a different layer to them that no one really knows how to explain, but its a gift that keeps giving.
Pluto in the 10th house - Woah. Thats the word to describe em. Its their touch and raw auras that keep you on your knees. VERY strong personas and do not like being talked down on. Could use their experiences/circumstances to their advantage. Gifted and seeing beyond what no one wants to believe is true. They can have the world if they know they got it in them already. Hard headed but gets to the bag with just their two feet. No one else can beat them at their own game.
Pluto in the 11th house - Whew. These people have a spell on the people that no other pluto house placement can compete with. The issue is these people don't know how to use that power but thats not all that bad. They can have people do things for them because something about them just makes people want to do things for them.
Pluto in the 12th house - very odd things comes out of the mind with these individuals. The subconscious/dream world is the most important part of their day to day because it rules the present in a way that cant be controlled but must be felt. How are you doing living a life that no one seems to live? It seems like they are all alone, but the world is calling for them to give them all the answers.
Talk to me in the comments, let me know how yall feelin! <3
2K notes · View notes