#but i cant help but get frustrated or offended easily too

[litttlestars]

what they dont tell you about feeling too much is the overwhelming anger and frustration side of it and the guilt you feel afterwards for feeling that way over smt so small and trying to convince yourself that you're not an awful person over it

[autisticlee]

words are hard. explaining is hard. remember that while reading

the amount of disabled people on thos website who make posts going against each other makes me so sad. there's too many posts of "such and such people/random person are talking over people like me and making us look/feel bad, but they're wrong and not suffering as much so need to shut up!" can we stop invalidating each other because you claim they're invalidating you by speaking about their struggles????? can we all support each other instead????? ableism within disabled community here is awful.

I get it. sometimes people say a thing and you think it takes away from you or makes you feel bad. but that doesn't mean they did it on purpose/everyone with their condition is doing it on purpose. doesn't mean they know you and your feelings. doesn't mean their feeling is invalid because it hurt yours! and if it's just a thing you saw on tiktok, don't blame entirety of people with the condition because one or two people on tiktok don't speak for everyone! (not everyone uses tiktok either so don't act like everyone is getting info from there)

it's so frustrating and disappointing! can't say anything on here without upsetting and offending another disabled person because many different or new reasons every day! like you didn't mention that they have it worse or say yourself isn't suffering as much. or you use a phrase or word thar helps you but another group gatekeeps it. or you're simply "talking over" people you don't even know that decided you don't suffer and struggle enough because they "have it worse" and want you to talk about THEM and not just yourself. on your own blog. but somehow know to mention them and advicate for them so they don't have to or something???? is confusing.

words are hard. hard to explain this!!! but is frustrating and upsetting to see many disabled people here targeting each other more than ableds. example there's many posts of physical disabled vs ND, acting like being ND can't be disability. do you want to borrow my brain and see if it disables you more????? sometimes see opposite where ND is harder than physical disability. do you want to borrow my body and see if you can live easily??? see many physical disabled vs other physical disabled, example "cane user can't complain because I need wheelchair!" type things. or ND vs ND "I have more ND than you because I cant do *thing* alone but you can so you can't complain about struggling because you're talking over my bigger struggles"

I GET IT. everyone wants to feel valid and not feel talked over and all that stuffs. but stop fighting each other!!!!! stop invalidating each other because you feel invalidated/assume they are trying to invalidate you. is nothing but invalidating loop!!!! stop assuming everyone must talk about you and your struggle before their own because you think their voice shared means yours is blocked. stop having disability "Olympics" in which you jump through metaphoric hoops to prove you're more disabled and deserve most attention and more voice and everyone below is taking that away! learn how to support each other because we know ableds don't like supporting us!!!!!! we all suffer and struggle. why act like fellow disableds don't or arent allowed!! 😭😭😭😭😭 this is for both people that use tiktok to do "quirky" stuff or are able to push through struggles and want to act like everyone can too. and people with higher support needs that think lesser needs have super easy life and talk over them if they make post about their struggles. I see both!!!! a lot!!

never see anyone talk about ableism within disabled community and how it is bad for all of us!!!! but sure see lot of.......

I know. i'm bad at words. dont try to misunderstanding and attack and be mad at me! if you experience real problem with this you are valid in your feel. you can feel! but maybe don't do generalizing and invalidate all because one person or a few or tiktok did or said things you don't like. that make sense???

[kaleidosouls]

I love your Pearl redesign! I also love that you gave her a more motherly personality, cause Steven deserves a Mom! 💖 (I know he had Garnet in canon, but still)... But is your Pearl still an inventor and knight, like in Canon? 💜Also, what is your Pearl’s relationship with Amethyst, since they don’t argue like in Canon? 💙And how does your Pearl feel about Greg, since the crush on Rose/Pink isn’t there?

thankyou so much!!! this made my day ;w; im answer your questions so apologise that i literally am clinically like, unable to be brief. god how i wish i knew how. i ended up going into way more detail and writing than what you asked so im sorry for using your questions as writing prompts sdgkj

she's still an inventor and knight, and insecure about these traits since they were developed over thousands of years and not what she was made for. rose just thought of her as another joining her forces while pearl could only see it as a transfer of ownership, so in a way she saw learning those skills as a way to be a better servant for rose's cause but no one had really Asked her to pick up arms or technology, she was simply interested in those things without realising it herself. im sure shed be similarly enamoured with the concept of knighthood as it's a more glamourized form of servitude.

pearl and amethyst would have similar like, butting heads in canon except pearl isnt berating and diminishing amethyst like she did, but still a sort of like shes telling or trying to encourage amethyst to 'do her chores' and amethyst hates it and is dramatic about it. pearl is clearly very ocd driven but more meek so she'll tell amethyst, please pick up those things on the floor and amethyst going UGH I HATE IT HERE, its something that over time does make amethyst feel like shes improper but pearl isnt too prideful to not stop when amethyst asks her to, and amethyst learns over time to be more considerate with pearl than just make a fuss every time cause pearl takes it very seriously. pearl still tries to do things she seems helpful sometimes without asking like tidying up a few things in amethyst's room which makes her mad and pearl doesnt understand why but is actually distraught when she makes amethyst unhappy

they are very much still a sort of opposites to eachother but pearl has a more introverted personality, shes more easily embarassed by amethyst's antics than offended. she like cares deeply about her bc she and garnet basically 'raised' amethyst over the hundreds of years since they found her in kindergarden. amethyst has is jealous of both pearl and garnet being so 'put together' and it makes her question herself but shes not in suicidal depression like she is in canon (where she talks about literally not asking to have even been born)

i think further on in canon after some development with steven too theyd get a lot closer and learned to work some of their differences where pearl has learned to 'let loose' some more and amethyst has grown more responsible. pearl needs to learn to exist For herself and not depend on anyone else for her worth and amethyst wants to form an identity for her own and she needs to accept her own flaws and that relying on other people doesnt make her lesser.

wrt greg, i could see pearl initially being very awkward around him. like moments in canon where she like, ducks behind garnet around greg and such except wtihout the context of 'ew the Disgusting Useless manthing that STOLE my gf' and more like, oh no one of the alien people >< greg is such a loose chill guy and itd bump against her neat and tidy outlook, but she would grow to like him and find him fun. i believe All the gems become torn on how to feel about greg when like, rose becomes more attatched to him than them, pearl would specially not understand and feel frustrated why she cant come along on 'dates' because shes used to being around rose as much as possible, rose presumably having already had flings with humans but like, in secret from the others. greg would also be like, Greatly insistent on letting her act in servitude towards him and become upset by her trying to act like what to him is like a maid or something worse, something pearl wont be able to understand for a while until after she sorts this out with steven.

wrt the whole, giving birth to steven, im torn on how to change it in the sense it still doestn Fully make sense to me how it happened anyway but, i feel like pearl would be so shocked she wouldnt really process the depth of what was going to happen until it did. greg should bring up the living conditions for the baby and theyd probably get the house in the temple built before steven's birth, rose finds the idea of the house super endearing but amethyst is the one who suggests greg should 'just move in', and no one has really any complaints about that. (bc theres no valid reason he adn steven couldnt live in a house when they could just build one anytime anyway?? greg is litearlly homeless and poor?? i think rose wouldnt even think to consider that greg's life is difficult, but when greg brings up all his anxieties about raising a baby, the rest of the gems were definitely concerned)

when it happened pearl went throw stages of depression where shes denying rose is really gone because shes just shapeshifted into this baby thing, and unable to really reach or talk to rose or see her over time makes her frustrated and angry and upset in a way not even the gems had ever seen her, where she butts heads with greg who similarly ends up having an outburst because hes in so much grief and he didnt really Want her to be gone and they couldve jsut adopted a human baby but he felt he had no right to deny her the right to have a kid if thats what rose wanted. pearl has a similar thought to canon that if they just pull the gem out rose would come back before snapping back into herself and seeing how everyone is grieving and in pain and that like, Thud in her gut that she really is gone, for real, like she might as well have been shattered, and sinks into a very long depression where shes near catatonic similarly to how she was when losing her diamond. she floats through the motions and does whatever anyone tells her to do but doesnt really talk anymore. everyone else is going through their own like, ways of processing and coping with this and they really dont know how to support each other, and garnet doesnt want to push pearl into fighting because shes barely there mentally so she ends up spending a lot of time in the house with baby steven, with greg picking up working in the car wash like in canon bc hes broke and has a son to raise. i think this is where shed actually pick up the habit of watching steven sleep, this has just ocurred to me sdklgj idk why she does in canon other than canon pearl is a freak but while steven is like an infant and pearl is too depressed to do anything she starts to just watch steven and babies sleep most of the time. greg like, rants out loud to pearl whenever hes home, which is fairly often anyway, like walking himself through the steps of baby 101 and she kinda just watches it almost absentminded, but thanks to her gem processing she Is absorbing most of what greg is saying to her, she just doesnt react much. greg also starts to ask her for help more and let her help with chores which she greatly takes to because its like thank god something to fullfill my self worth and give me something i can do. i think this is what gets her slowly becoming more active again because of settling into a parent routine and caring for a baby gives her more than enough things to do. shes intially scared of even touching steven like he will break, and theres a lot of like, alien doesnt know how human babies work moments, but she starts to absorb herself in parent 101 books and knocking at vidalia's door with a questionaire and becoming familiarised with baby stuff. itd probably get to the point greg has to like pry steven from her bc steven is His son you know. i think pearl and greg would probably end up becoming pretty good friends through this experience, honestly. same with garnet and amethyst. greg would take a much more active role in steven's life than having to distance himself bc of 'gem stuff', he would also raise steven to love music the same way in canon.

i think while pearl and greg wont get along 100% of the time, as their personalities dont quite meld, theyd be a pretty good co-parenting duo. greg would teach pearl a lot about humans that she had no idea about and she takes his lessons to heart, often Too literally, and he has to clarify things to her later. she would share the feeling from canon that humans seem 'very fragile', speciallyafter spending time with a baby. she probably became really horrified at all the horrible ways babies could crack their skulls that contributed to her overprotectiveness of steven later. as well as her mentally transferring her servitude from rose to steven. i think many people would regularly assume pearl to be steven's nanny or maid than a mother bc thats how she acts like, which like upsets steven when hes in his teens because he wants her to be his friend, not his maid.

anyway no one is gonna read all of this but tahnk you sdlgkjs oh and to add, while i dont want pearl to have a crush on rose i believe she would idolize/admire her in a way people could interpret as crush-like but i want her to feel about rose as platonically as garnet and amethyst do. like its simply not a romantic thing bc in canon she is Literally her owner and in my au pearl thinks of her as such.

[alreadyblondenow]

One is a big number | Lee Taeyong

❤︎ Taeyong x female!reader ❤︎ Very fluffy, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, Highschool AU, Strangers to lovers, Love Alarm universe, Love Alarm au? ❤︎ 1/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry  One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Under the universe of Love Alarm, you rang Lee Taeyong’s Love Alarm loud and proud and you as a new girl at the school, has his attention more than anything else. 

Word count: 7,682k

Warnings: Protected sex, loss of virginity, touching, teasing, making out, corruption, goodbye innocence, mentions of first base to home run, taeyong having a boner while kissing, all that high school exploring in bed while Taeyong’s parents are not home, Trusting an app regarding love, swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of other idols

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. This will be very fluffy because I wanted to start February on a light note. hehe. Also, this is inspired by First Love by NCT 127 under Loveholic’s single. It’s a good thing that I finished this before they announced that First Love is all about your first... love... hahaha so I had time to incorporate in more with my fic. As always, I enjoy writing for my Bubu. Happy reading! 

For NCT-WRITER’S FEBRUARY EVENT, LOVE ALARM @nct-writers​ 

Can you still remember your first love? The day you met and the day you realized you officially like that person? 

When that one person hold your hand for the first time? Did he kept you close and kept you warm? 

When that one person kissed you for the first time? How did it feel?

When you had your first fight, how did you fixed it? 

Do you remember the time when you realized that, that one person is slowly slipping into your hands?

When that one specific person broke your heart? 

Do you remember it?

It’s been over four years since Love Alarm has been launched and they’ve been using it for almost everything. The world seemed to have progressed a lot now that we have Love Alarm in our phones but did it really made our lives easier? Especially when it comes to love? 

Walking to school on a beautiful day, your first day as a transferee... what could possibly go wrong? As you enter the school premises, you see students holding their phones like they’re waiting for something or someone. Perhaps they’re waiting for someone to ring their Love Alarm? Who knows? 

“He’s here!” A rather excited student exclaimed and brought out her phone and grabbed her friend. You being the only clueless student right now turned your back too to see the man they’ve been waiting for.

He was like a celebrity when he stepped on the first few steps upon the school’s entrance. Lee Taeyong, a senior. Very good looking, smart, athletic, and voted junior prom king. He literally looks like an angel walking in the middle of the school’s entrance together with his friends who look liked angels too. Their Love Alarm rang so much as they walk in front of the new and old students, making fun of each other and having a bet on whose Love Alarm will ring the most. 

You looked at him. You looked at his face like you don’t already know that it’s impolite to stare at someone, but you still did because Lee Taeyong is handsome. And you’re not immune to his charms. What a good way to start school, you thought. It’s only the first day but you feel like you’re going to have a blast as long as you see Lee Taeyong around. 

From there on Lee Taeyong has become your crush and your heart thumps so hard whenever you ring his Love Alarm every morning like the other girls. For you, there’s no shame in ringing his Love Alarm, you’re glad it does that. At least you’re being honest to him in silence and let the alert from Love Alarm do the talking. But even though you ring his Love Alarm again and again and again, you never wish for him to ring your Love Alarm back, no. He deserves someone perfect like him. 

Day by day and whenever you see him around, you look at him to feed your heart and eyes then look away again and ignore him as if you didn’t ring his Love Alarm loud and proud. It frustrates him you know, but in a good way. He now recognizes you as the new girl who rings his Love Alarm every day but seems to don’t care about him enough. In other words, you’re not like the other girls. 

You know that good feeling when you go to school and you’re looking forward to seeing your crush even just for a few seconds? That’s what Lee Taeyong feels for you. With just a couple of weeks of ringing his Love Alarm, you had the man thinking about you and wanting to know you. Sometimes he can’t understand Love Alarm. He is completely sure that he likes you already and he is very interested in you, but he can’t ring your alarm. 

Have you ever had that good feeling when your crush is around and you are free to look at him no matter how long you want and whenever he caught you staring you just avoid his eyes? It’s like playing chicken but you’re both enjoying the game, he smiles at you and brings up his phone as if he’s telling you ‘Thank you for ringing my Love Alarm again’ and you just smile at him, completely clueless that he’s starting to flirt. 

“Why don’t you just ring her Love Alarm back?” Doyoung asked. 

“Cant. For some twisted reason, I can’t ring her Love Alarm. That’s why I can’t make a move and can only flirt back, I want to trust Love Alarm” Taeyong says, eyes completely glued to you but you don’t know that because you’re busy reading.

“Maybe you don’t really like the girl?” Doyoung blurted out. Lee Taeyong didn’t really want to admit it with his friend but maybe he’s right.

“The Lee Taeyong flirts back now huh? And to a new girl? Interesting” Johnny swings his arm to his friend and ruffles his hair. Teasing him for flirting back at you because he saw Taeyong smiled in your direction. 

“Am I not allowed to flirt?” Taeyong snorted and turned off his Love Alarm when he saw the place getting crowded already. “It’s senior year, I need to change” he added. 

“So changing your relationship status is a good start? Hmm. Okay, I agree with you on that. But don’t waste your time if you're unsure,” Johnny explains. But Lee Taeyong doesn’t care, he looks at you as you gather your books thinking of many ways to start talking to you and secretly wishing he can ring your Love Alarm back. But for now, he just can’t. 

While you were studying at the library, you can’t help but remember how Lee Taeyong thanked you for ringing his alarm.... he fucking thanked you, that must be something? He isn’t thanking every single person who rings his alarm, just you. You smile at that thought which you think is crazy but a girl can dream. Then again you remember that you’re studying and shook your head for the nth time to stop yourself from thinking about your senior. 

When you finally focused on studying and finished tons of school work, you didn’t notice that it’s already dark outside and that going home alone would be scary but you have no choice. You walk and walk and walk until you finally reached that scary alleyway you’ve been trying to avoid but it’s your only way home. 

“Hey- don’t go there” 

A familiar voice warned you before you can even start walking, you turned around and wish that you were wrong but you weren’t. It is as if the world heard you thinking about Lee Taeyong and the universe made you meet in an unexpected way. “It’s dangerous there, where are your friends? Is that your way home?” He asked the question like you two were close and talking already, his face looked cold but funny how he makes you feel warm. 

“Yes, this is the only way. Usually, I go home when the sun is still up but I have to study” you explain. 

“I have no choice then. Let me walk you home, my conscience will not let me sleep if I just let you-“

“I can take care of myself, I can easily call my dad. If I refuse your offer, will you still think about me?” You don’t know where the sudden bravery came from but you’re glad you did it.

He was completely shy, blushing and keeping his head down. And that’s the push that Lee Taeyong needed. He held out his hand and introduced himself properly like a decent person would and you did the same. Both hands are shaking because of nervousness but that’s understandable you both thought. “This isn’t how I imagined meeting you officially-“ 

“So you do think about me?” You further tease the blushing man and finally admits the truth and said, “Yes. I do think about you. A lot” it was silent for a few seconds before he started again, “I wish I could ring your Love Alarm too, you make me nervous you know that? Whenever I’m in school I look forward to seeing you, even just for a few seconds” he came closer to you as you grip your bag tightly and the butterflies in your stomach won’t stop flapping their wings when Lee Taeyong put strands of hair behind your ear so he could see you clearly under the lamppost light. 

Either way, you still let him walk you home and cherish every second you could have with your crush. You feel like you’ve won something like you’re winning this nonexistent race with the other girls, you feel happy for yourself. He told you about his day, you told him yours, he made you laugh, you make him shy for no reason. And when you and Taeyong finally reached your house, you exchanged numbers. Now you can tell that you’re winning something. His attention and interest.

“I hope I can ring your Love Alarm,” he says again, looking at you like it’s going to be the last thing he’ll do. 

“That’s fine, ring mine when you’re ready. We can’t rush romance, even when Love Alarm is involved” you watch him let out a small laugh and you think he’s so handsome even when he’s cute. 

“Usually girls get offended when someone they like can’t ring their Love Alarm, but you... you don’t mind waiting” 

You didn’t want to end the moment yet but it’s getting pretty late and he needs to go home too, you told him to stop flirting and go home safe so he can flirt with you some other time. And for the last time, just to wrap this wonderful night, he tilts his head and smiled so sweetly to you and told you ‘good night’ 

That moment you had with Lee Taeyong felt like a pretty damn good song but just like every song, it needed to end. But you will never forget about it. 

After that momentous night with your crush, Lee Taeyong has become a whole entire playlist and a well written album wrapped into one. Every love song you listen to was suddenly all about him he and the man was head over heels to you. He was texting you nonstop even during class, calling you after school and will probably end later at night, and getting the tiniest chance to flirt with you in the morning before you both head to class and meet again by golden hour to walk home together.

Not long after a week of flirting and getting to know each other more, he finally rang your alarm in front of many students in school accidentally. Your eyes went big and Taeyong was as shocked as you are. It was like you have this 10-meter radius for yourselves only and you were both giggling when your Love Alarms went off together. It was a happy moment, definitely one for the books. “Finally” he whispers, standing close to you, not caring if a lot of people are watching. Let them watch, Lee Taeyong thought. So they know you belong to each other now and you have Love Alarm on your side. 

“Are you free this weekend?” He asks while walking you home. 

“Free, but I have to study. What do you have in mind?” you answered as calmly as you could because you have a hunch that he’s going to ask you on a date. 

“Well, now that I can finally ring your Love Alarm, I want to take you out on a proper date” you knew it, “movies?” 

“Sounds fun, as long as it’s scary” he nods and took his phone out of his pocket. 

“Can I ring your Love Alarm again?” He requests which you gladly gave in and opened the app. You two waited for a few seconds for Love Alarm to work its magic. 

Waiting

Waiting 

Waiting

Until the number ‘1’ appeared on your screens and says “Someone within 10-meter radius loves you”. Taeyong sighed in relief and swing his arms around you for a hug and a kiss on the forehead. “That scared me” he admitted. 

Unconsciously, he doesn’t know what his hug and kiss can do to you. While his heart calms as he hugs you, yours is beating so fast like you just ran a mile. There’s that winning feeling again. 

On your first date, he took you to the movies and as promised the movie was scary. It was so scary that he had enough opportunity to hold you close and hold your hand the whole time. The moment your fingers intertwined, you felt some kind of electricity flowing in your body and the movie house suddenly felt warm. “I know, I felt it too” he whispers and went back to watching the movie. 

The next few days with Taeyong was something you’ve never imagine that will happen in your high school life. He has become the epitome of new things and first times. 

He is the first guy to hold your hand in public. Swinging it high, up and down, holding it tight, and he even kisses it whenever he feels like it. Not a day goes by that he didn’t hold your hand or kept you close to him ever since you made it official through Love Alarm. 

He is the first guy to sweep you off your feet, through his sweet words and gentleman gestures. “Can I flirt with you later?” he asks, putting a bottle of juice in front of you before he goes to his next class. ‘Flirt with you’ simply means he wanted to spend time with you before he walks you home. 

Still in your school uniforms, Taeyong brought you somewhere quiet where the river is calm, and just looking at it makes you calm your nerves too. “The sun feels nice, let’s watch the sun go down,” he says lying comfortably on the ground and enjoying the warm grass underneath his body. 

“How’s your day?” you sat beside him and Taeyong was quick to cover your legs with his school coat. He grunted while covering your legs as he remembers how stressful being a senior is. 

“Was having a bad day, when I talked to you earlier. School has been kicking my butt” he says and lies again beside you. “How about you? How's being a new student so far?” 

“So far so good, I have a handsome senior who just made my high school life more interesting” 

He handsomely giggles in front of you, so close that your lips are just inches away. “You’re flirting,” he says. 

“You said you wanted to flirt with me?” you bite back. 

“Mmm-hmm. Can I flirt a little differently today?” he came even much closer to you but you didn’t pull away because you know exactly what he’s talking about. 

And just as you expected, he kissed you. Softly. Holding your chin as he moves his lips on yours while the sun goes down. Your eyes were shut and all you did the whole time your boyfriend was kissing you is return the kiss and savor the feeling of being kissed for the first time. 

When the kiss was over, he did not pull away immediately but looked at your lips for a few seconds as if he wanted to kiss it again but even more fiercely this time but he knew this is not the right time for that. So instead, he kissed your nose and your forehead and flashed a sweet smile at you. Something that you will never forget like the kiss you just shared a few seconds ago.   

After that day, kissing became an everyday habit to you and Taeyong and you both love it whenever you get the chance to share a kiss privately. Well, he does kiss you in public, but those are nothing compared to the ones you share inside his room after school and his parents are not yet home. Lee Taeyong’s lips are simply addicting but little did you know that your boyfriend is even more addicted to kissing you. 

“Just one more kiss” he pulls you close to him begging for another kiss before he watches you go inside your house. “One more please” he pouted like the baby that he is. 

You crashed your lips on him and feel both of his hands hold the sides of your head so you won’t pull away from him so easily. But when you do, he simply asks for another kiss and then another other, until you’re basically making out in front of your house. 

“Mmm” he moans like he’s not planning to stop kissing you soon. 

“Tae-“ you giggle and tried pushing away and finally, he stopped. Lips swollen, slightly panting with a…. hard cock. 

“Sorry about that. I- I have no control over that, I’m sorry” he apologizes and tries to hide his boner. You let out a small laugh and fixed his ruined hair with a few pat. 

“You don’t have to be shy, I’m your girlfriend. See you tomorrow, okay? Go home safe!” you slowly walk towards your house, waving your hand goodbye until you see him walk away. 

Just like any new couple, you and Taeyong crave for each other in many ways. After exploring enough with kissing and teasing each other whenever one of you gets too turned on, soon you talk about different levels of physical intimacy freely without being awkward. 

Given that Taeyong is more experienced than you are because you’re a virgin, he knew exactly what to do when it comes to expressing his physical needs to you and making sure that he doesn’t pressure you with anything. 

“So how do I know if what base are we on?” you asked innocently. 

“First base is kissing. Open mouthed kisses, tongue- basically, the things I already did to you or the things we did already” he explains, hands on your waist as you both lie on your sides facing each other. 

“I’m guessing we're way past first base then” you smirked and made him shy. 

“Yeah. Way past first base” he smirked back at you and hovers on top of you. “The second base is more on touching” he emphasized the word ‘touching’ and better explain it by moving his hand from your leg up until he reaches your inner thighs under your school skirt and run up a finger on your slit unexpectedly which made you curl in no time and curse at him. Not because you didn’t like it, but because it felt good and he immediately stopped the teasing. 

You glared at him as if you’re telling him through your eyes to touch you again, be he just snorted and kissed your cheeks. “Don’t hate me. I’m just waiting for the perfect timing” he explains and enjoys how you’re so annoyed but horny.

You let out a sharp sigh and made him continue again. “Third base is giving head or fingering. Oh, you’re going to love third base” he teased you further by just using his words. You pushed him away from you playfully but your boyfriend is strong and caught your hands, “okay okay. Enough teasing, home run is having sex. And come on I have to get you home before I could no longer stop myself” 

He’s not lying because you see the growing tent in his crotch. He’s been stopping himself by teasing you. You sat up when he got out of his bed to change into some much comfortable clothes but when he got back, you teased him by putting on a show. Lifting your skirt slowly just before you reveal your panties and as expected, he stopped you. 

“Don’t tease me, I don’t have a condom right now” it was a warning but it sounded more like he’s begging. 

“I’m just joking” you kissed him on the cheek and got up from your comfortable position to fix your wrinkled school uniform before you head home.   

Tonight, you attend a party with Taeyong for the first time and his Love Alarm kept on ringing the moment he stepped into the room. 

Every day, Lee Taeyong rings your Love Alarm and you ring his too.... together with the other girls and quite frankly, you don’t know how long you can stand those girls who fantasize about fucking your boyfriend. He’s your own private buffet, for goodness sake. 

“Don’t drink anything unless I’m the one who gave it to you, okay? I’ll get you something- Doyoung!” he made sure you won’t be alone and called his friend before he leaves. 

“So you’re the lucky girl. Hi, I’m Johnny” he offers you his hand for a handshake and accepted with a smile. 

“Don’t mind Johnny, hi I’m Doyoung. Taeyong’s best friend,” you shake his hand and smiled at them, hoping that you don’t look awkward. They made small talk, asked you how you’ve been and how’s your Junior year going so far which you answered too seriously. Soon, you feel Taeyong’s cold hands on your shoulders and hands you a drink before he shoos his drunk friend Johnny away. 

It was a fun night, but it can be better if the other girls can respect your relationship. You wanted to snap so hard but instead, you focused on how Taeyong kisses your nape, shamelessly while you watch his friends play beer pong and he’s standing right behind you, hands on the front pockets of your jeans like he’s telling those girls he belongs to you. 

But the warm feeling was shortly cut off when they heard Johnny shouting and drunkenly pushing himself to walk straight so he could get a hold of his girlfriend. Everyone heard it. The words, “Johnny were through. I’m breaking up with you” were heard on every corner of the place even under loud party music. 

After hearing those words, you looked at Taeyong like you’re telling him through his eyes that you’re scared. But Taeyong and his other friends were quick to get Johnny and stopped him from making a scene. 

Everything happened so fast. One second Taeyong was beside you, but now you're in the middle of the place alone and watching your boyfriend and his friends carry Johnny outside. 

“Johnny didn’t ring her love alarm today,” Taeyong sits beside you after leaving you alone for a few minutes to talk to his friend. “And if he’s going to be honest he fell out of love. But he wasn’t ready to let her go and wasn’t sure about his feelings, he’s just being paranoid because he’s going to graduate soon” he let out a sharp exhale before he continues, “We're going to graduate soon. I guess Love Alarm caught him having second thoughts for her already” 

“Do you want to leave now?” you asked your boyfriend. He can only nod because he still feels weak about what happened to his friend. 

 The supposedly warm night with Taeyong became cold and quiet. Not because there’s something wrong with your relationship. But because you were both scared of the idea of breaking up. He wanted to tell you he saw the look in your eyes when you heard the words but he figured enough sadness for one night, wrapped his arms around you and told you “I will never let you go” and kissed you on your temple. 

Few days after the party is exams week so you and Taeyong didn’t see each other that much. But by the time it’s over, he waited for you outside the school and you know he’s the one waiting for you because he rang your Love Alarm. 

While walking to his house, it suddenly rained so hard that the raindrops hurt your skin. But instead of avoiding the rain, Taeyong pulled you in the middle of an empty street and kissed you under the rain. 

It was so sweet. 

His arms were perfectly wrapped around your body while yours is placed behind his lower back. You tiptoe unconsciously so you could reach him well. “I love you,” he says and lifted you off the ground effortlessly for a tight hug. 

“Here wear this” He left some clean clothes on his bed for you to change with while he puts your wet uniform on the dry cleaner. 

When you’re finally dry and clean, you cuddle with Taeyong in his bed wearing his big clothes and listening to the sound of rain with no lights on, but the gloomy sky outside. 

“I saw the way you looked at me the other night” he started. And you tighten your embrace to him as you remember the words and the whole scenario. 

 “I'm just scared and not because I’m doubting your love” you admitted. “I never thought about it you know. That things can go wrong someday-“

“No, no. Then I’ll love you, even more, every day. Don’t be scared please, trust my love” he says and kept you close by putting his legs on your thigh. His big hand is placed under your shirt, drawing small circles on your tummy to give you more comfort. 

“I’m guessing this is second base then?” you teased him to change the mood. 

“Do you want to proceed to that level? Hmm?” he rolls on top of you, teased you, and kissed your neck in a way that seriously turned you on in no time. 

“If you’re brave enough to do it, then go right ahead. I give you my full consent” you reached for his lips and kissed him deeply. You felt him smile during the kiss and also felt his hand slowly lifting your shirt or rather his shirt. Hands roaming your body like he never touched you before, squeezing your butt cheeks and kneading your clothed boobs. To be honest, he’s shy to put his hand inside your clothes but to his shock, you put yours inside his, bravely touched his body, and shamelessly put your hand inside his sweatpants and touched him. 

That made him swallowed his shyness and knead your unclothed breast under the shirt that you’re wearing. Brushing his fingers on your nipples softly, pinching them to make giggle. 

After a few minutes of intense touching, he was slightly tugging the sweat pants that you’re wearing and asked you, “Do I still have your consent if we proceed on third base?” He whispers oh so sexily beside your ear which made you remember what he told you, ‘you’re going to love third base’ and that is enough for you to nod and give him further permission. 

He kissed you on the lips, his way of saying ‘thanks’, and proceeds to lift your shirt and suck your nipples which made you moan his name and grip his locks so tight that he needed to reach for your hands and intertwine them with his. 

Lee Taeyong showed you who is in bed and you can't help but think that you’re the luckiest girl on Earth. 

“Hey, you okay? You’re spacing out, I think should-“ 

“Don’t stop” you moaned and grabbed his head for a deep kiss. You reach for his hand and made him knead your boobs while you kiss and grind on each other and in a matter of minutes you felt him putting his hand inside your panties while he distracts you with the way he kisses you. He flicks his fingers once and you curled immediately, legs wide open so he could freely move his hand. But soon his patience went thin and removed your panties, throwing it on the side of the bed before spreading your legs even more wider. 

“Do you like this side of me?” He whispers on the shell of your ear and bit it eventually making you tickle and giggle with parted lips. 

“I definitely do” you moan out. 

And for the main event under third base, he kissed your body all the way down until he meets your wet entrance. Kissing your inner thighs first before he proceeds to drive you wild with his tongue. 

First, he parted your wet folds, looked you straight in the eye, and licked you like you’re his favorite flavored ice cream. “Tae-“ is all you can moan out and decided to put your hands above your head and grab hold of his headboard. Which he didn’t like so he stopped and told you, “touch me, I like that” 

And so you did. Gripping Taeyong’s locks as he makes you feel good with his tongue. Putting a finger inside your cunt and flick his tongue faster together with his finger, making you cum in no time and crushing your boyfriend’s head with your legs. “Stop- stop” you cry out because of over sensitivity. “You weren’t going to stop eating me unless I told you so” 

He smirked and hummed because you’re right. He gave you a few minutes to catch your breath, taking that time to strip himself naked without you noticing. And when you finally came back from your high, he kisses your lower stomach and there you see your boyfriend all naked and really horny. 

“I want to have sex,” he shamelessly told you, touching your body with care while he waits for your answer. “Can we have sex?” he kisses you more like he’s persuading you. 

“Do you finally have a condom?” You asked with a smile. 

He did not waste any time and get the condom from his drawer, putting it on in front of you. Putting it on in between your wide open legs and very wet slit. 

“Put your arms around me,” he said and you followed immediately. He ran his protected cock on your wet slit, just to make him hard even more but the feeling for you is very different. You are very much aroused, very horny and it already felt good. So when you feel him poke your tight hole and slowly push in finally, your eyes shut close and feel every inch of Lee Taeyong’s cock go inside you oh so fucking slowly until he’s entire inside. 

He grunted and moan directly on your ear and told you, “virgin no more” and kissed you on your temple before he rolls his deep which made you both crazy and even more horny for each other. 

Your tight walls were so wet because of the foreplay that his cock was sliding in smoothly, hurting you good and stretching you right before he fucks you harder. 

“Fucking thin condoms, I feel like I’m fucking you raw,” he said in between thrust and rolling his tongue on your nipple, tugging and biting it as he pleases. 

When he sees you smiling through the pleasure and felt your body more relaxed, he put his mouth on your mouth and made you catch his moans as he fucks you harder and faster, enough for his bed to creak, your body to be dragged on the mattress and your nails to dig on his skin. 

He came hard and had a great orgasm, slowly thrusting deeper as he rides his high and showers you with kisses. Truth be told, he didn’t want to cum just yet but your tight walls did its magic on him.

The moment he pulls out to discard the condom, he went back to kissing your weak body and told you to “Calm down,” oh so sweetly, and eventually giggled when he saw you still breathing heavily.

“How can I calm down if you’re kissing me like that?” 

“Okay I’ll stop,” he says and pulled down your shirt to cover your exposed body, reached for your panties, and helped you wear them again then covered you with his thick sheets. “Better?” 

“Yes, thank you” you smiled weakly at him and watched him get dress again before he joins you under the covers.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, hoping that you’re okay. “Are you hurt somewhere?” 

“How many girls did you bring here before me?” You watch your boyfriend’s eyes get big upon hearing your question, “I’m joking. And no, nothing hurts. I’m just processing everything that happened. How about you? What are you thinking?” 

“I’m thinking about you, how I want you to be the last girl I have sex with in this bed” it was a joke because he only brought a total of two girls into his room. His first girlfriend and you. 

“Buy a new bed or I’m breaking up with you,” you said with a straight face but he clearly knew you’re joking. 

They say that being close with your partner emotionally, physically, and even sexually can strengthen a relationship. And right now, as you celebrate seven months of being in a relationship with Taeyong, you believe in that saying because you’ve been closer than ever after being intimate for the first time. In other words, the sex was a good way to strengthen your relationship. 

“Why do you love reading so much?” he asks, totally jealous over reading a good book rather than talking to him. 

Taeyong is busy nowadays because he’s graduating in a few weeks and he’s part of the prom committee because he has seriously good leadership skills. That’s why maybe he wanted more attention.

“Oh! I'm gonna miss you when you graduate” you pinch his cheek and sat closer to him. “Will you be fine being away from me?” You teased him but your question was serious. 

“No, I will not be fine. I will miss you every day- can we please talk about something else before I start crying?” he attacked you with kisses on the cheek but the moment was cut off when Johnny pullovers to fetch your boyfriend. 

“Have fun shopping for prom decorations with the boys rather than being in bed with me” you whisper to him while you both wear your bags and walk towards Johnny’s car. 

“I love you, go home safe, okay? I’ll call you as soon as we're done” 

During your walk alone, it felt nice to do something without Taeyong for once. Not that you wanted him to be gone, no. It’s just that nowadays, things have been becoming like a routine and less of a relationship. You go to school, see him before class starts, see him again after school, and go home together. Then you do it again the next day. Like you don’t have any more doors to unlock in this relationship. 

But what do you expect? You’re high school students. 

“Are you done studying?” 

“I can’t study tonight, my brain feels tired” you whine through the phone, eyes closed and thankful that it’s going to be the weekend tomorrow. “How about you?” 

“Well, Johnny accidentally broke a few lights so we need to fix it before we go home. I’m tired, I miss you” 

“Mmm. I’m tired too...” your voice was a little groggy. 

“And? Do you miss me too? Can I see you tomorrow?” 

“Tae, we just saw each other five hours ago and no, I want to enjoy my weekend by staying home and watching Netflix” 

“So you’re not having fun when we're out together?-“ 

“I never said anything like that” you opened your eyes because the conversation is getting pretty serious, “Don’t be angry, I just want some time for myself you know? We see each other every day, talk through text every hour, it’s like there’s no more room to breathe” you wish you can properly tell him what you’re feeling but those are the words that came out from your mouth. 

“Time for yourself, huh. Okay” and just like that, he ended the call. No ‘good night’ or ‘i love you’. And even though you’re sleepy and things escalated quickly, you heard the tone of his voice like a mixture of, annoyed and hurt. 

Instead of having a good night's sleep, you stayed up all night thinking about what you said to your boyfriend. Analyzing every word and repeating the scenario in your head, over and over again. If telling him what you want was wrong, then you don’t know what’s right anymore. 

On the next day, you sent him a few messages telling him that you’re sorry and that you didn’t mean to put it that way. You even told him you wanted to see him, hoping that he will finally get back to your messages. But still, he never replied. The whole weekend.  

Come Monday, you didn’t get to see Taeyong in the morning like you usually would because you and your friends did your group project together last minute. And the truth is, you’re starting to hurt because you feel bad for being honest even though you didn’t intend to hurt him like that. 

“I think you’re being too clingy” Doyoung protest to his friend during lunchtime.

“Girls love clingy boyfriends-“ 

“Well, unfortunately not your girlfriend. Give her some space, don’t make her all about you, you know?” 

“I just want every time I could get with her before I graduate. B-but, yeah. Now I’m giving her the time that she wanted for herself-“

“But you’re hurting her. She’s worried, she just wanted you to return her messages dude” Johnny pats his back and gave him the look like he’s saying ‘fix this before Love Alarm screw the situation further’ 

And while Taeyong is enjoying his lunch with his friends, you’re with your friends at the school bleachers watching the other sections use the field. Talking about hot boys, prom dresses, and what to do after prom.

“Did Taeyong asked you to prom already? Was it romantic?” you see the excitement of your friend as she asked you the question and see the others wait for your answer. 

“N-no. He hasn’t” the once cheerful faces were replaced by disappointment. Come to think of it, maybe he will not ask you to prom because of this stupid fight. You shook your head and returned the question to them and pretended that you care who’s taking them. But deep inside you envy them. 

School was always exhausted and you don’t know why you’re suddenly tired. Usually, after school and you meet Taeyong outside, you still have a lot of energy left. And maybe that’s it, Taeyong’s cheerful energy and happy aura are the ones recharging you after a day in school. That’s when you realized that you don’t need to push him away just so you can breathe.

Speaking of the devil, you see him leaning on Johnny’s car the moment you stepped out of the school grounds. Head down, hands inside his pockets, and waiting for you. 

The moment you stepped inside that 10-meter radius, his Love Alarm rang and he knew it was you. But the problem is, your Love Alarm didn’t ring this time. 

Taeyong didn’t notice it. Taeyong didn’t notice that your Love Alarm was silent. He still welcomed you with a tight hug, kissed your face one too many times, and said his sorry sincerely. It felt nice that you are now okay, he’s talking to you again and on top of that he apologized. Of course, you didn’t want to ruin that peace anymore and pretended that you’re not hurt.   

Few days went by and Taeyong hasn’t rung your Love Alarm and he’s too busy to notice it. Senior year is making him busy and you have nothing against that. Yes, you do miss him but he calls you before you sleep and quickly apologizes whenever he feels like he’s being a clingy boyfriend again. 

“N-no. Please, be clingy. I’m sorry for that night, I don’t know what I’m thinking” you sounded desperate but he doesn’t know why. 

“Okay, just making sure we don’t fight again” 

And few days before prom, he still hasn’t asked you yet while your friends all have dresses already and plans for that night. It sucks, but you don’t want to get mad at Taeyong for not asking you to prom because he’s busy. 

On a quiet afternoon after school, you’re waiting for Taeyong outside the school while reading a book, and page by page you digest every word just so you could stop thinking about prom. And just as you least expected it, your boyfriend asked you to prom on page 127 of the book that you’re reading. 

 “Will you go to prom with me?” -T.Y 

Then it hit you. You started reading this book on the day prom was announced so basically he asked you ever since day 1 and he has been waiting for your answer for weeks already. He just keeps on giving you more reasons to ring his Love Alarm loud proud, while you give him nothing to make him ring yours.  

“Finally. Hi” 

You didn’t know he was right behind you and his kiss brought you back on Earth. He was smiling handsomely and proud because his surprise worked on you, even though it took you a while to answer his question your reaction was worth it. 

“You know my answer Tae. And to be honest I thought you forgot about asking me” you finally admitted, but your lack of faith in him didn’t hurt him one bit. 

“Perfectly fine,” his arms swing around your waist and pulled you closer to him while you're sitting on the bench. “I’m free now and I don’t have prom committee duties. Can I flirt with you tonight?” the way he said it sounded just like old times, like the days when you were just starting as a couple. 

The flirting was continued in his room of course, with his thick curtains down, Netflix playing and hands intertwined the whole time. And after the movie, you two cuddled in bed with you on top of him and just listening to his heartbeat. 

“Does your heart beats for me?” you asked soft, hoping he would tell you the truth. 

“Of course, you’re my first love” true. Even though you’re not his first girlfriend, you’re the first girl he ever loved. 

“Your Love Alarm says otherwise Tae. I think I’m not giving you enough reasons to love me” you admitted. “You haven’t rung my alarm ever since our first fight” 

“W-what? Maybe it’s off?” He was panicking, shaking because maybe it’s true. With quick movements, he left you on his bed to get his phone then looked for your phone in your bag and opened the app to see if what you’re saying is true. 

His rang, of course, but yours didn’t. 

“Tae it’s okay- It doesn’t matter. You know you proved to me that you love me even if you can’t ring my Love Alarm” you went beside him and hugged him from behind. Feeling his frustration and anger to himself but your hug helps him a lot. “You tell and show me you love me every day. I can feel it in how you kiss me, how you treat me with respect and how you’re always patient with me. Come on it’s okay, don’t ruin your day” 

To make him feel better, you talked him out of his sulking and convinced him to go back to bed with you which eventually worked. You’re now sitting on top of him, grinding on his crotch, only wearing your panties and his hoodie. You can tell by the way he kisses you that he’s more than sorry about not ringing your Love Alarm and that makes your heart sad too because he didn’t do anything wrong.

“Let’s turn this night around,” you said before removing the hoodie that you’re wearing and making your boyfriend grip your boobs and play with your nipples while you kiss him and distract him as you undo his pants. 

“Clever” and finally he smiles and puts one of your nipples in his mouth, hands inside your panties and spreading your ass cheeks before he inserts a finger in your wet slit. 

After that night, Taeyong had a hard timing accepting that he can’t ring your Love Alarm again even though you told him so many times that it’s okay. Sometimes your conversation escalates too soon and he just ends up arguing with you. Soon fighting has become a weekly thing for the two of you whenever he brings up Love Alarm again. But that’s okay, couples fight and that’s normal. 

On prom night, you purposely did not bring your phone so Taeyong will not try to make your Love Alarm ring. It’s going to be a beautiful night and you didn’t want to ruin it for him. You danced with your boyfriend and went crazy with him on the dance floor, you dance with your friends and ate good food. In other words, you had a great time. 

And when the slow song started to play, everyone’s Love Alarm kept on ringing and people started to confess their feelings. It was amusing to watch and of course, you’re happy for them. But amidst that busy dance floor, that busy place, you and Taeyong had your own 10-meter radius and you don’t need Love Alarm to feel that you love each other. 

“I’m sorry for giving you a hard time these past few days” he started, swaying you under slow music and not caring what's happening around you even though people are very loud and excited. “Let’s stop using Love Alarm. That app lies. I know all too well that I love you and even though I can’t ring your Love Alarm, I sure know how to love you” 

“Mhmm. You do” oh you wanted to kiss him so badly but the teachers are looking. 

“You still love me right?” 

“Of course Taeyong. What kind of question is that?” 

“I know, I just want to hear you say it” he came closer to you and kissed you on your temple when the teachers looked away, “You look beautiful tonight” he added and dance with you more, looking straight into your eyes and thanking you secretly for liking him first. 

Now it's his turn to like and love you forevermore. 

[gnocchighoul]

The boys (+undateables?) reactions when they discover MC is actually a vampire?

....so I’m a dingus and didn’t realize that this was also for the undateables and just wrote it for the brothers, my bad 😅 Part two maybe? 👀

WARNING: as this is about vampires, it’s a little bit morbid. I strayed away from being too graphic, but y’know. Vampires. There’s death and blood and such. 

Enjoy! :D

~

Lucifer

In hindsight, he really should have figured it out on his own.

But it’s not like he’s been around enough humans lately to know what Normal human behavior is. 

So he just kinda took your... quirks at face value.

So what if you’re far too comfortable with the Devildom’s constant state of nighttime? Solomon doesn’t seem to mind it either, so maybe humans are just more nocturnal now.

And perhaps your Very Strong aversion to garlic is a little odd, but Mammon wouldn't eat it either for the first 600 years of his life, so it’s not that weird.

You’re also not phased by constantly being surrounded by demons and monsters, which is a little strange, but maybe you’re just like the ancient greeks. A monster fucker.

You feeling right at home in the Devildom is auspicious for the exchange program, so he doesn’t bother dwelling on it.

Though maybe he does find it a little bit weird when you really insist that he start drinking cranberry juice.

(It’s just for health benefits of course, totally has nothing to do with you prepping your next meal)

So what, you may ask, triggers his big lightbulb moment?

You fall off the roof.

And you just get right back up.

Now he knows that humans aren’t supposed to be THAT durable, so he stops you from scaling the side of the fucking house with your bare hands, and very eloquently asks you, “What the fuck?” 

You shake him off. “What? Mammon and I are playing roof-ball.” 

Lucifer stares. “You fell. I saw how hard you hit the ground. You should be dead.”

You laugh. “Dead? Just from a little fall like that? Are you serio-ohhh wait. You don’t know, do you?” 

You give him your biggest, cheesiest grin and—oh. 

Fangs.

...And now he understands why you want him to drink cranberry juice.

Mammon

You are, by far, the weirdest human he’s ever met. 

Which is saying something, because Solomon is literally just a few blocks away.

Seriously, despite camping out in your room nearly every single night, Mammon has never seen you sleep, he’s pretty fucking sure that sometimes you don’t even breathe, you won’t step foot into the House of Lamentation unless someone invites you in, and who the hell hates garlic that much?? 

But you’ve also expressed your intense dislike for crosses, so he supposes that you’re not unredeemable. 

Just weird.

But it’s incredibly annoying how you wont sleep. Your tossin’ and turnin’ is killing him, why the fuck can’t you just settle down? You need to just put your DDD down and sleep already, dammit.

He sits up, ready to tear you a new one—and pauses. 

“Um,” his voice is high, somewhat uncertain, and your eyes snap over to look at him. “Why are you looking at coffins for sale?” 

You sigh, a bit wistfully. “I just can’t stand sleeping in a bed anymore. I didn’t want to be rude, so I really did try, but it's been a couple hundred years since I last had one and it’s just murder on my back. I think I’m gonna just have to get a coffin. They’re so much more comfortable.” 

Briefly, Mammon considers running. 

Instead, he says, “What the fuck?” 

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “You do know I’m a vampire, right?” 

...What the fuck—

Mammon lays back down—crosses his arms over his chest with a huff and pretends that he isn’t totally freaked the fuck out. “‘Course I do, don’t be stupid. Now go to sleep already.” 

So that he can escape before you try to eat him.

“Mammon,” you sing, leaning over the bed to loom over him. He swallows hard—can’t look away from your sharp, toothy grin. 

You coo, “I can hear the scared little pitter patter of your heart, darling.”

He squeaks.

Levi

Honestly, Levi is so so happy to have another irl friend who’s into video games that he looks past your strangeness.

You like to stay indoors and play games!! That’s something he has in common with you that his brothers don’t, and that’s all that matters!

...Though he does find it a little weird how sometimes you just kinda sniff him. 

The first dozen times he nearly had a heart attack, and when he asked why you were doing it, he Really wasn't expecting you to shrug and say “I dunno, you just smell tasty” 

Seriously. Tasty? Are you Beel or something, what’s that supposed to mean?!

He’s not entirely sure why you’re a bit of a shut in gamer though, because despite your, ah, quirks, you’re still so much cooler than he is, so what’s the deal with that?

When he asks, you just shrug and say, “Old habits die hard, I guess. Real sunshine hurts, but virtual doesn’t, so I just got kinda used to living through games and staying indoors.”

“Oh.” Levi’s a bit surprised, but sympathetic. “So, you sunburn easily?” 

He’s not entirely sure why you’re laughing now, since that wasn’t a joke. He was just trying to be friendly :(

But then you hug him and he’s too flustered to be offended anymore jndcks

So, when does it finally click for Levi that you’re a vampire?

You guys are having a game night in his room.

He accidentally takes a sip of your caprisun and realizes, very quickly, that it is not the refreshing juice of a caprisun pouch.

He throws up a little bit.

And screams.

And maybe blacks out for a few seconds.

But when he finally calms down and lets you explain, he’s pretty damn enchanted, because this is just like Help, My Roommate Is A Vampire And I Didn’t Know Until A Vampire-Hunter Mistook Me For Them And Attacked Me!! :D 

Satan

Satan considers himself to be somewhat of a detective, y’know. His brain is just filled to the brim with Big Smarts

Naturally, he puts that jelly thicc thought tank of his to good use and realizes very quickly that you aren’t totally human. 

At first, he isn’t totally sure what you are.

And then a coffin gets delivered to the house, which upon seeing you cheer “Oh sweet, my new bed!!” aaaand he puts the pieces together.

You become somewhat of a case study to him. You’re the first vampire he’s ever encountered and he just wants to know everything and anything about your life.

He’s so intrigued by you.

But you frustrate him SO much.

He wants to know about how you were turned!! It’s not like he has any other vampires that he can ask about their experience!! And you fucking tell him a different story every day!!

“A cat jumped over my deceased body!”

“I was stabbed and the wound wasn’t treated with boiling water!” 

“On a dark and stormy night, I came across a palace and the owner, a hospitable gentleman, let me take refuge there. But then, I quickly realized that I was actually a hostage, and when I tried to escape, that fucker turned me!”

“Nobody put an obolus in my mouth to pay the toll of the Styx, so Charon the ferryman sent me back! What a great guy.” 

“A chupacabra bit me!”

Needless to say, he considers breaking the wooden leg off one of the dining room chairs and stabbing you with it, but the lecture he would get from Lucifer just isn’t worth the effort. 

He’s gonna pull the truth out of you one of these days.

Asmo

“My my, darling, what sharp teeth you have~” Asmo purrs, lifting a finger to brush against them, doe-eyes wide and curious. “The better to eat me with, hopefully?” 

You smile. “Something like that.”

And you fuckin’ bite his finger.

His scream is fantastic. If you actually draw blood next time, maybe he’ll even shatter the windows! 

He swats your leg sharply with a silk folding fan and cries, “What if you had broken my skin!? Do you have any idea how much time and effort goes into maintaining this soft, supple skin?! What’s wrong with you, you psychopath?”

“Don’t hit me,” you pout, scooting away from him. “I couldn’t help it! You just smell so sweet and I haven’t had any blood in a while, so—”

“Huh?” Asmo blinks, looking a bit confused. Then recovers far too quickly and waggles his eyebrows at you. “Oh, so that’s what you’re into! What a pleasant surprise~” 

You thunk him on the back of the head. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to tease a vampire?”

Asmo’s grin could rival the sun.

“A vampire?! Well why didn’t you say so sooner?” 

He’s already taking off his shirt.

“Get over here already and take a bite out of me~”

Beel

When he finds out that you’re a vampire, his first thought is to worry over if you can eat normal food or not.

He’s very relieved when you tell him that you can, so long as you’ve had enough blood, but that garlic is a very big no-no.

Naturally, you two bond over how both of you never quite feel full. 

It’s not uncommon for the other house members to find you two laying face down on the floor, tummies rumbling, whining about how you’re staaaaarving

You carry around snacks for him, and Beel makes sure that you’ve always got access to blood (whether that means stashing blood bags, letting you feed from him, or a combo of both ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

He’s probably going to be the least weirded out by your ~undead tendencies~

Honestly, he’s a bit relieved by how strong you are. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt you or see you get hurt, and it gives him peace of mind when he realizes that you’re actually pretty durable!

But it does give him a fucking heart attack the first time he sees you yeet yourself out a second story window to crush poor, poor unassuming Mammon.

He also really loves how your body temperature naturally runs cold. He’s a space heater, you’re an icicle—it just works. Snuggle time is good :)

He totally compares the size of your incisors with his jkdcnkj

He just thinks you’re really neat!!!

But he is very sympathetic about how you cant eat good garlic bread :(

Belphie

Listen.

We all know this emo boy is a vampire fucker, probably even more so than Asmo.

(He read Twilight. He saw all the movies. He had merch.)

(Fuck Edward and Jacob though, he was Team Alice all the way.)

(If he can stay awake long enough, he reads really shitty vampire romance novels.)

He just thinks vampires are hot, okay? He can’t help that his soul longs to be a vampire fucker.

Just accept it into your heart. Belphie already has.

So needless to say, he’s THRILLED when he finds out that you’re a vampire. He tries to play it cool though and pretends that he isn’t immediately trying to jump your bones dfghjkjh

He overheard you telling Satan that you got bitten by a Chupacabra, and they’re known for going after cows right? 

He is a cowboy, y’know, guess you’re just gonna have to go to him now when you’re thirsty, y’know, since you were bitten by a Chupacabra. it just makes sense, really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(No it doesn’t)

(But let’s be real, are you gonna pass up the chance to snuggle the shit out of him AND get a snack out of it? No. No you’re not.)

(He totally makes you arm wrestle Beel to recreate the “Iconic” twilight scene with Emmett and Bella.)

(When he realizes that you’re strong, he’s gonna make you give him piggyback rides, just like Edward and Bella :) and no he doesn’t care how ridiculous you both look)

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Day 15

Prompt: It’s impossible to lie to your soulmate.

Word Count: 851

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01,​​​ @spoopy-turtle,​​​ @lizluvscupcakes,​​ @more-fandon-than-friends​, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus, @gayboopnoodle, @sanderssidesweirdo, @the-sympathetic-villain, @8-writes, @lizzy-lineart, @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun Soulmate taglist:(Send an ask to be added or removed!) @elizabutgayer, @melodiread, @tsshipmonth2020, @mikalya12, @8-writes, @lizzy-lineart

Virgil smiled as Logan sent him off to the grocery store. He’d known Logan was up to something but was using diversions to get him out of the house. Nevertheless, Virgil allowed it. He did text him if he could think of anything else they needed from the store and Logan just told him ‘nothing I can think of, dear’, which was a dead giveaway that something was going on.

The shopping trip obviously didn’t last as long as Logan wanted it to as, as soon as Virgil texted that he was on the way home, Logan redirected him somewhere else. He was sent to the bakery to pick up donuts that Logan doesn’t normally eat. Then, a fast food restaurant to pick up subs for dinner.

Once that was done, he didn’t get a new task so returned home. He opened the door with his arms lined with bags of groceries, too stubborn to take multiple trips, and the boxes of donuts in his hands.

“Surprise!” Logan softly exclaimed, flicking on the lights.

Virgil looked around. The entrance way was covered with streamers, balloons hanging from the ceiling. There were decorations everywhere in blue, purple, and black. “Babe, what’s going on?”

Logan sighed, walking over to help with the bags. “Did you really forget our anniversary?”

Virgil wanted to play it cool, to say, ‘No’, but what came out of his mouth instead was, “Yeah . . . Oops?”

Logan just chuckled, leaning up to kiss his soulmate on the cheek. “You and that scatterbrain of yours.”

Virgil laughed. “Excuse me, who’s the scatterbrain? Mr. ‘I forgot my own birthday, I was so focused on my science project’.”

Logan playfully shoved his shoulder as he walked to the fridge. “Hey! That was one time!”

Virgil just pushed him back, equally gentle. “And this was one time! Don’t even try giving the excuse that this was more decorated, love. I decorated for the forgotten birthday too! We even ended up eating the cake the next night because you forgot!”

Logan put the last item in the fridge and closed it, walking over to wrap his arms around Virgil’s waist and kiss his ticklish neck. “Aw, come on, dearest. Light of my life. My beloved. Love. Soulmate. Husband.” He kissed his neck between pet names.

Virgil lasted as long as he could before he broke down, turning to pick Logan up by the waist and set him on the counter. “You minx.” He muttered as he leaned in for a real kiss.

Logan hummed into the kiss, his arms coming up to twine around Virgil’s neck and draw him closer.

“Gross!” They heard from behind Virgil. They broke apart and Virgil turned, leaning his head on Logan’s shoulder so they could look at their eight year old.

Virgil looked serious for all of five seconds before he split into a grin. “Get over here, twerp.” He laughed.

Patton scrambled over, skidding into Virgil’s legs and wrapping his arms around him. Virgil bent down and picked him up, cradling him in his arms as he leaned over his head to kiss Logan’s cheek. Patton squealed.

Logan giggled as he pulled back, putting Patton next to him. “Are there any more groceries?”

Virgil looked at the island. “There’s a few more bags but I can handle them.” He put the rest of the bags away himself while talking with Logan about the scientist’s day and the new lab frustrations.

“I mean, why does Doug not wash his hands after dealing with certain specimens?! Also, I know the geology department is allowed to get away with it, but why do they keep using their specimens to prop the door open?”

Virgil giggled at that. Logan’s hand paused its path through Patton’s hair. “You think that’s funny?”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, a little bit. Come on, bioscientist, admit it. You’re just jealous you’re not allowed to do that.”

Logan pretended to be offended for about ten seconds before he too dissolved into giggles. “Okay, you’re right, it’s funny.”

One the groceries were put away and the subs were in the fridge, the family moved to the living room. Patton curled up on a beanbag while Logan and Virgil claimed the love seat. They put on the movie the couple had seen on their second date, laughing and making commentary the whole way through.

They ate dinner, saving the donuts for breakfast tomorrow. After dinner, it was one more movie before Patton had to go to bed. Both parents came up to kiss him goodnight and tuck him in before they were back downstairs, cuddling under a blanket and watching a stupidly cheesy rom-com as was tradition.

After the movie ended, they sat there, talking in the darkness, telling each other how much they loved them, how much the other meant to them. Logan knew Virgil got shy easily and preferred the lights off when confessing how much Logan meant to him. Virgil knew Logan loved him more than words could express but it was still nice to hear him say it.

Soon, they were drifting to sleep in each other’s arms.

[banditcoyote]

Tuesday with Thom

“You sure you have time for this?” Thom asked already unfolding her beach chair and nearly knocking over her spiked lemonade in the process. “I know you got some days on the road ahead of you, you kind of crunched your time huh?”

“Absolutely.” Coyote answered easily, already picking up a bale of hay like it was a bag of groceries and moving it to the back of the loft. Thom raised her eyebrows in appreciation of this strength. “Yeah, I did, but it was more than worth it, besides this won’t take me longer than an hour, tops.” Coyote told her as he pushed it tight into the corner.

Thom laughed and reclined in her spot in the hay loft, she thought about sliding her sunglasses down on her face, but decided to keep the shades up to admire the way Coyote moved about with such ease. The heat of the summer already causing his t-shirt to cling to his muscular physique with sweat. He might have been her ex, her current lover’s father, and the mate of her best friend, but Thom was still a woman and there was nothing wrong with appreciating a view. “You know, all those years of you and Gatlin coming by here, I can’t believe you made such a show of hiding this strength.”

Coyote grabbed a bale with each hand and laid them against the other ones. “Couldn’t get anything done too fast even if you weren’t watching,” he pointed out “What would we do just sit around and wait an appropriate amount of time?”

Thom nodded “I guess that’s true….” She held her straw up to her lips and took a sip. “So tell me about Sasuga fighting! This is the first time you saw her right?” she said looking for some gossip.

Coyote lit right up, a smile stretching across his face. Thom slipped her phone from her pocket and did her best to sneak a photo, knowing that Sasuga would love to see how proud her man was of her, just at the mere mention of her name. “I saw her fight before…uh….one of the first few times I met her.” Coyote’s face turned a bright shade of red and Thom zoomed in quick and got a perfect angled picture before Coyote lifted another hay bale to block the shot. Thom smirked and put her phone down, satisfied for the moment. “But that before we were really anything” just before. Coyote thought “so I thought she was good, but this time she got some new armor, and she was really driven….I actually have a couple shots I can show you after.”

“That would be awesome. I’ve seen her model, obviously” Thom said “But I haven’t really seen that other side of her, I can’t wait.  So what about the rest of the time, were you doing press with her? How much personal time did you get?” she asked with a little tone to her voice heavily hinting that she was looking for some dirty details.

Coyote shot her a warning glance, but it was clear he was amused by it, “Have you been texting with Shishi?” he knew the pair had hit it off when he was here and her attitude now somewhat reminded him of Sasuga’s meddling uncle. She only smirked in response and waggled her eyebrows looking for an answer. Coyote took a breath “We had plenty of personal time, but not nearly enough. Leaving was hard, real hard, and there were a couple things we argued about, which was really not how I wanted to spend our time…”

Thom snapped to attention “Argument?” she wondered what it could be, she knew from their heart to hearts that Sasuga really had her mind set on two things, marriage and children, two things that could be big deal breakers.

Coyote sighed a big and rubbed the back of his neck. “She wants to get a house…” Thom thought this was curious as Coyote’s house was nothing short of amazing, and as she opened her mouth to ask further questions Coyote continued “In Japan” Thom promptly shut her mouth and let that sink in for a second, then moved to sip her lemonade without comment. “Yeah.” Coyote added and throwing a hay bale with a bit more strength than may have been necessary.

“Don’t bust any of those now….” Thom said softly, sensing his frustrations and still trying to make heads or tails. Coyote murmured an apology, understanding he was letting emotions get the best of him. “Japan huh….like permanently?”

Coyote shook his head quickly. “No, just like, a summer house, she had a little apartment there, it was nice, I liked it, rooftop entrance for us and everything. A bed that hung from the ceiling.” The corners of his lips turned up again, remembering their reunion back in June. His tail wagged a little, and Thom was glad to see he was back to reminiscing. “But she wasn’t somewhere a bit more private, which I get, she cant hide like I can, I know she just wants to be herself in her own place without worrying about people coming around, even my place, outside you gotta be careful none of the ranch hands are getting too close to the house.”

Thom sat up a little. “Wait, so she just wants like…a vacation house for you two?” she clarified.

“Yeah.” He said with a nod.

Thom blinked for a moment. “Okay. So whats the big problem?”

Coyote turned after he placed another bale down and stared at her for a moment. “It’s in Japan.”

Thom stared back. “Do we-……Do we not like Japan?” she asked still confused.

Coyote gave half a shake of his head “It’s just….it’s far.”

Thom tilted her head for a bit. “Okay….afraid of flying?”  she said stirring the ice in her drink with her straw.

Coyote knew Sasuga couldn’t, or wouldn’t, fly but that wasn’t the point of the conversation so he didn’t bring it up “No….it’s just.” He sighed. “I feel like I’ve been real distracted…I love Sasuga, I love her so much, it’s hard to focus on the ranch when shes around and I feel like I’ve been really neglecting the staff and Preacher and Poncho. I don’t want to just…abandon everything I’ve built here. You know I’ve been a part of this community and I don’t want to become a hermit because all I want to do is hang out with my wife all day in my house, I don’t want to be a rich asshole like other ranchers, I like working and I like being around people and in town. But I feel bad that Sasuga feels like an outsider here, and I’m not sure how to bring her into the community, I want to make sure she’s comfortable like I am and-“ Coyote paused looking at Thom who was grinning ear to ear. “What?” he asked wondering what thought was going on her head.

Thom pressed her hand to her heart. “You called her your wife.” She cooed.

Coyote’s face went red again and he picked up a bale so he had an excuse to turn his back to her. “Well….ya know…..eventually….” he said trying to avoid the topic even though he had let it slip, and he was glad that Sasuga wasn’t around to hear him, less the two girls start shrieking about it together.

Thom gasped and nearly jumped out of her chair. “You didn’t propose to her in demon world did you?!” she asked entirely offended. “I swear to God if she comes back and there is a ring on her finger and you didn’t tell me. I swear Coyote Jones I’ll….well I don’t know what I’ll do but I swear I’ll-“

Coyote held up his hands and laughed a bit. “No…No I didn’t.” he said trying to calm Thom down. “It hasn’t even really been a year yet.” He reminded her.

“So?” She said with a shrug. “You’re already mated right? And Cal and I have barely dated for a year and-“

It was Coyote’s turn to interject “Cal Propose to you?” he asked quickly.

The blush that rushed to Thom’s cheeks was a perfect mirror to the one that had only left Coyote’s. “N-No.” she said with a little shake of her head and she pulled her lemonade to her mouth. “but I know that if I did I’d say yes.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you said so.” He said matter of factly.

“Coyote! You better not!” she said grabbing a handful of loose straw from the loft floor and tossing it fruitlessly in his direction.

“Then you better not tell Sasuga bout this either!” he said with as much threat as she had in her voice. “Fine.” She said falling back in her chair defiantly.

“Fine.” Coyote said with a nod. The silence that fell between them was like a blanket. “You’d think she’d say yes?” he asked quietly.

Thom nodded “I know she would.” She took a sip “You planning on it?”

Coyote puffed out his cheeks. He knew the answer to this but there was no way he could tell Thom, she was Sasuga’s best friend here, and was getting close with Shishi, he knew the three of them together couldn’t help but gossip so letting anything slip, even as much as he had now, was a bit dangerous. “I was thinking about buying her a horse.”

Thom nearly choked on the mouthful of her cocktail. “You’re gonna propose to her with a horse?” she coughed out.

Coyote laughed heartily “No! No. Just something of her own to make her feel at home, I was thinking one of those Gypsy Vanners, I know they’re big and strong but she could handle it as long as she had a connection with the animal, and they’re so pretty.”

Thom understood they were fully changing the subject even if she wasn’t entirely happy with it. “They’re beautiful.” She agreed. “I know she’d have fun with all that mane and tail.”

Coyote nodded “I know, but if she wants to go to Japan then-“

Thom nodded “I get it, it’s not really a great idea getting a pet and then leaving it all alone all the time.” Coyote nodded, glad that Thom understood that at least. “And the business is kind of suffering since you’ve been running off with her a lot? Why don’t you just tell her funds are tight and you need to focus?”

Coyote paused “No….funds have been fine, and Sasuga has all her own money, she doesn’t need mine.”

“Wait.” Thom put her hand up. “Nothing is happening with the business?” He shook his head to confirm, everything had been fine. “Coyote. Don’t be an idiot.” He blinked at her. “I’m sorry, I know you’re an idiot, and you can’t just stop being you.” She couldn’t help the barbs. “You’ve worked really hard here, and you’ve built something that’s great, you should buy a vacation house with your mate, your eventual wife, and not worry about the business. I’m sure Gatlin could step in, he has for you in the past. Or is he too busy with-?” again her tone was dripping with intention. She wanted the dirt.

Coyote nodded “Oh yeah, super busy, he’s been hooking up with Shishi and Kurama like crazy, a real uh fuck fest, they can’t keep their paws off each other, You should see the marks on Shishi, I think he’s part incubus-“

Thom’s eyes had only started to glaze over as her fantasies took over but then she shook her head. “Hey! You’re trying to change the subject. We were talking about you! Buy the damn house Coyote!” she said slapping her leg.

He rolled his eyes, he had thought he was out of the woods about the house. “I’ll go look at houses” he agreed with a nod. “Im afraid of losing all this but I’m afraid of losing her more.”

Thom made that high pitch noise that women loved to make when they thought something was adorable and his ears tipped back on his head as she pushed herself up and rushed forward with arms outstretched. He returned the hug with a little laugh.

“You’re not gonna lose us Coyote. Not if you tried.” She promised as she squeezed him as hard as she could. “We love ya too much, you’re a great guy.” She started running her hand up and down his back

“How many of those cocktails did you have before I got here?” He asked her amused

“Just two….maybe three.” She laughed and looked up into his face. “You might need to help me down the ladder. They all just went right to my head in this heat.”

He nodded “Alright. Go sit down, don’t hurt yourself, I’ll hurry this up and we’ll get you back in the A/C. Deal?”

Thom nodded with a smile “Deal.”

[diamondcamefromhell]

Falling stars

Jaskier x female!reader 

This was a wonderful request from @rosasteri :

Can I request an imagine with Jaskier? Um, people in tavern are angry with this bard and there is a fight (in tavern). Geralt isn't here, but Y/n is, so she saves Jaskier and in the end they confess to each other in love. Fluff.

Warnings: foul language [as usual now], fighting

Word count: 1.538

A/N: This was so much fun to write, so thank you Rosasteri for allowing me write this, I really hope you enjoy the result. This was a bit shorter, as I am not that experienced in writing fighting scenes, so i cut that bit short [hope that’s okay] 

Feedback is appreciated [can be left anonymously on my ask page] and requests are open [however it may take a few days before i get to it, as i am nearing my 4 work days again]

I hear men whisper amongst themselves, well, if you could call that a whisper. They don’t like the bard. I take my eyes off them, to Jaskier, who’s playing ‘Toss a coin to your Witcher’ for a third time tonight. Not many people seem to be too excited about it, as I lean back in my chair, glancing around the bar, as I hear more angry grunts in the tavern. Uh oh.

I still glance around, knowing full well Geralt isn’t here. I just hope he could appear, then the men would calm down. Now every note Jaskier hit, was like fuel to their fire. I need to do something before they eventually riot and take down the bard. If they broke his lute, yet again, he might lose his cool and, well, cry.

I stand up, going to the group who looks the angriest. I offer them a smile.

“Good evening, boys.” I say, promising myself I will make Jask pay for saving his ass. “Enjoying your night?”

“No, not really.” One of them grunts, throwing daggers at Jaskier. I step in front, so the bard is not in his eyesight.

“Jaskier will soon lose his fire, and you’ll be able to have a calm night.” I say, but they don’t seem too phased by my words. I hear a couple of boos from a different table. “Until then, ale is on me, how about that?”

“Not interested.” I keep my smile on, but slap my hand on a table. The men get startled a little, as some of their ale leaks from the cups.

“Then shut up and allow the bard do his job, how about this offer?” I show my teeth, winking at them, before I return to my table. Here goes me defusing the situation.

I know Jaskier doesn’t need me to baby sit him. But he can get really oblivious to everyone when he’s in his element, even when people are openly showing the dislike. It takes someone to throw something at him, before he snaps out of it. Needless to say, he was feeling his music now, and even as more and more people were raising their voices, he didn’t seem to care.

I admired that. While it was dangerous and frustrating for me and Geralt, I sometimes got jealous. Blocking out the world like that was a talent on itself. I sigh, as the group I just threated go back to being loud and annoying. I glare at them, but they ignore me. Too, oblivious to me approaching them again. I grip my cup tighter, plastering a smile yet again.

“I thought we had a deal.” I say in cold tone, as one of them scoffs.

“Move away, lady.” He says, clicking his tongue. “This is not a place for women. Or bards who can’t even play proper songs.”

“Oh really?” I smile as I hear Jaskier’s lute stop. My hand shakes ever so slightly, but I manage to pour what was left of my ale, all over his head.

When I was thinking about how we have to baby sit Jaskier, I forgot, that ultimately, Geralt has to watch us both. I don’t have anger issues, not usually, but I don’t like it when people offend Jaskier. I know he’s talented and I also know he still is growing and learning every day, to whoever discourages that, well.

They can have a shower of ale, I guess.

As fully expected, the man in question, jumps to his feet, as I move out of his hands reach right away. I don’t plan on getting slammed to the table or the ground tonight. I didn’t, however, expect that it would jeer the whole tavern on. I hear angry yells, turning to see as a group of men break into a fight. Someone is rushing towards Jaskier, knocking him to the ground.

There goes his lute, breaking in half as he shields himself with it.

“Well, fuck.” I murmur, fully aware it’s mostly my fault. I tighten my grip on the cup, rushing to them both.

I slam the cup to the guys head, as he grunts, rolling off Jaskier. I extend my arm, lifting up the bard. I don’t let go of his hand, as someone pushes me from behind, slamming us both to the wall. We are squeezed together, and I cant help but giggle, as Jaskier shoots a glare at me, his lips, however, also twisting in a smile.

As man behind us moves, I grip Jaskier’s hand tighter, pulling his after me, as we barely avoid getting hit with a chair. It shatters behind us, as I feel adrenaline rush over me. I try to safely guide us outside, but two fighting men block the doorway, so I freeze in my step, Jaskier slamming into my back.

“Sorry.” I hear him stutter behind me, but I ignore that.

The men are pretty much at each others throats, and I could bet in this tavern, some of them were after ours too. I had to think, fast. However when I needed it the most, my brain decided to freeze and forget how to function.

And politely asking them to move would exactly work too. I glance at Jaskier, letting go of his hand, grabbing the lute from the other. Well, half of his instrument. I turn on my feet again, basically blindly picking which guy I hit.

The lute shatters completely and I make a mental note to get a new one as soon as I can, as the man stumbles out of the way. The other one doesn’t mind us interfering, taking advantage of the situation, as they both hit the ground. Jaskier’s hand finds mine again, as I hear him giggle behind me. I grin.

I rush around them, forcing us out. I slam the door behind us, as we rush further away from the tavern. I see some people gather outside, as the noise probably woke them up. I slow down a little, and Jaskier is now in front, dragging me along.

I notice just how beautiful tonight is. The moon is full, the sky is clear. You can see the stars, little gems looking down to us as we continue rushing out of town, as angry yells disappear in the back. He stops, and this time I run into him.

Jask, however, seems to expect that, as his arms extend, and he hugs me. We both giggle in each other’s arms. As I listen to his restless heart.

“That was fun.” I hear a smile in his voice, chuckling.

“Sure,” I pull back, but his hands stay on my waist, resting there, like they don’t belong anywhere else. I don’t complain, “sorry about your lute.”

“I’ll get another one.” He winks at me, one of his hands going from my waist, to on top of my head, as he ruffles my hair. I slap it away, and he laughs. “You really saved my ass there.”

“Well I did also, kind of start the whole thing.” I point out, as his eyes seem to light up. “But you owe me one.”

“How can I repay this debt?” He teases, as I blush. His hand on my waist tenses up, as he pulls me ever so closer.

“I don’t know just yet.” I tease back, freeing myself from his grip, as my heart beats faster. I lean back against the tree, as he watches me closely. “Maybe don’t get into trouble next time.”

“But Y/N, I love being saved by you.” I grin, as he comes closer again.

“I don’t love having to buy you a new lute all the time.” I say, as we giggle again. I take his hand in mine again, playing with it, looking down. This feels right. So, so right.

“That’s a fair point.” His hand lands on my face, as he gently lifts it up. Our eyes meet and the whole world seems to disappear. “Y/N.”

“Jaskier.” We whisper each others names, it slides off so easily, fitting together like they were never meant to be separate. The breeze picks up, ruffling his hair as he squints slightly, not taking his eyes off me.

“I love you.” He says in one breath, leaning in, as his lips land on mine. I taste chocolate and wine, amongst other things. Happiness. This is what that tasted like, when he pulls back, I want to pull him back in. I resist.

“I love you too, you silly.” I say, leaning against his chest, giggling, as his hands wrap around my waist. He shakes, giggling too. “It only took for you to get your brains shaken up when you were slammed to the ground.”

“No, Y/N,” he laughs, as I lean back so I could see his face. He gifts me a smile. “All it took, was you.”

My heart skips a beat at his words, and I wonder how did I get so lucky. I smile, pulling him in for a kiss, tasting his smile too. When we split again, I look up to see a shooting star.

But I don’t need to make a wish, all I want is here, in front of me.

[insidetheacademy]

Say You Love Me || iv

pairings: peter parker x reader (both peter and reader are 18+!)

summary: Peter found out that reader is moving away

warnings: angst, explicit language

gif credits: tomholandd

part i part ii part iii part iv part v 

-

you were sitting on a stool just painting on your perfectly laid out easel. envisioning the scenery that you had in your mind. frank ocean was playing in the background, basically you were just vibing to the whole scene that you’re in right now. brushes were gently dragged across the canvas while you sing along to frank ocean.

as you were about to drag your brush that was covered in purple paint, someone had rang your doorbell. it was odd as you dont usually get visitors ever. you think it wasnt appropriate to bring guests over since your place looks like it belongs in a dumpster– you dipped your brush in your jar that’s filled with water and walked over to your door. you opened it slightly to take a peek at who it was

and there he was in all of his glory; Peter Parker. you opened the door wide and greeted him, “Parker, hey. didnt know you were coming over,” you said nervously, his lips curved into a smile “yeah! thought i would surprise you,” it was shocking, yes, you hadnt even told him whats your apartment number. he must have stalked you when he’s being Spider-Man.

you invited him in and turned the volume of the radio down so it wouldnt be noisy. you walked over to your small kitchen to make some tea for the two of you. “so, what brings you here, Peter?” you curiously asked him, “i was just about to ask you out for lunch. i didnt know you were busy,” he said while looking around your cozy apartment.

you took out the teabags from their container and dunked it in the teapot. you then took out two cups and pour the tea out. “i wouldn’t say i’m busy. plus you should’ve called me before coming over,” you handed him his tea. he took a sip and shrugs his shoulder

the next few hours, he hung out at your place, you ordered pizza for the two of you while he was sitting on your couch watching a movie that you had put on. “so, what are you up to nowadays?” you asked Peter, he swallowed his pizza and said “well, i’m just doing superhero stuffs, you know?” you raised your eyebrows and laughed at his statement “as in what?” he crossed his arms and said “i’m actually working with Happy now. believe it or not, he gets on my nerves,” the both of you laughed

“ ‘kay, I’m gonna go to the bathroom” you put down your tea cup and your phone on the coffee table and headed to your bathroom. your phone dings and Peter couldnt help it but to take a small look on who it was, it read “congratulations y/n, on getting a job in Paris!! your father and i are so proud.” Peter heart drops as he read the first few lines. he felt as if he had been betrayed.

you walked into the living room “hey, so what do you wanna do for dinner? i can make mac and cheese,” you stopped in your tracks when you saw Peter holding your phone, “what are you doing with my phone, Pete?” you asked calmly trying not to burst, “y-you’re moving?” he asks almost heartbroken like, you nodded to his question which lead to him being furious. Peter asked yet again “when are you leaving?” , y/n looks down on her feet and said “tomorrow,”. he kept bombarding with questions not planning to stop until he’s got all the answers that he needs, “were you not planning to tell me?” he said you walked to him and snatched your phone away, “it’s not a big deal, Parker! what the hell were you doing looking at my phone anyways?!” you shouted at him

“its not a big deal? this could change your life, y/n! where am i gonna fit in after that?!” Peter scoffed, you were offended at his words, “where are YOU gonna fit in? let me remind you, Parker, you are not my boyfriend so stop acting like one!” you spit at him. as if he wasnt satisfied he shoot back “so you dont even think of me as a friend anymore?!” you rolled your eyes, “for God’s sake, Parker, you stopped calling and texting me when you fucked Jane! you were the one stopped being there! so, no! i dont even think you are a friend. what kind of friend ditches their OWN friend for a girl?” you tried swallowing it but tears just rolls down your cheeks,

the world then fell into this huge awkward silence. what you said to him really went through his head. you were right, he was the one who left you to fend on your own. he could’ve just rejected you and still be friends, but why did he had to ignore you altogether? you sobbed into your hands and said “I think you should leave,” Peter tried to hug you and say sorry “leave.” you said at him with anger and sadness in your voice.

he took his jacket and said “thanks for the tea,” and left. you were shocked, what kind of human being just say that after they had a fight?! you took one of the cups and throw it at the front door wishing that it would hit him. on the otherside, he didnt walk away easily, he stopped to think about his actions in front of your door and was startled to hear a shattering noise. he punched a wall to let out his frustrations only to realise that this isnt his apartment. he ran out as fast as possible before he got caught.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

what the hell were you thinking?! Peter thought to himself. he continues to make you distant from him without even trying! he wanted to be happy for you but everything seems impossible only because of his stupid actions. he lies on his bed in the dark just hugging the life out of his pillow, getting everything out of his system.

the next morning, Peter woke up with swollen eyes and dry throat. he heads into his bathroom and splashed a bit of water on his face. words from yesterday creeping on his mind, replaying like a broken record. he walked to the kitchen to get something to eat. maybe a pop tarts for breakfast? he sat down and thinks to himself, what the hell am i gonna do? should i apologise? suddenly there was a knocking on his door, he gets up to open it, “May!” he exclaims with surprised in his eyes, “hey! did you forget that i was supposed to come over today?” May asked raising her eyebrows,

May walked inside and took a good look around Peter’s apartment, “I thought you were planning to decorate it?” she asked, Peter crosses his arms and said “I-I’ve been busy, May” May gave Peter a weird look as he moved out two months ago and he’s still sleeping on the floor. May walked to Peter and cusped his face, “have you been crying?” Peter nodded only to break down infront of her, “shhh.... shhh... tell me what happened,” May said trying to calm Peter down

Peter told May the whole story, “what do you think I should do, Aunt May?” he asks desperately for an advice, May took Peter’s hands into hers, “she’s leaving today right? go and send y/n off. don’t let her go knowing that she ended things badly with you.” May smiles. Peter stood up from the couch to get ready.

May was right. Peter cant let you go to Paris without apologising to you. this was his fault for acting out and he’s going to make things right. he kissed Aunt May on her cheeks and made his way to your apartment.

Peter is now at your front door just fidgeting with his fingers. he went ahead and ring the doorbell. he waited for a few seconds hoping that you were still sleeping in. he pressed the doorbell yet again but there was no answer. suddenly he heard a voice, “are you looking for Y/n, dear?” she asks in a most loving voice, Peter nodded “I’m afraid she’s already gone to the airport,” Peter’s face drops even more knowing that you had left. “Oh, thank you then,” he walks by her.

“though, you might still can catch her at the airport,” Peter stopped and turned around to face her, “I talked to her this morning and she said she doesnt get on the plane until its 1:50pm,” the old lady smiles at Peter. Peter swore he could feel his own spirits lifted, he thanked her with the hugest grin on his face. He drove right down to the airport. not trying to waste any moment more.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

You had just arrived at the airport, the cab driver was kind enough to lend you a helping hand. You smiled and bid thank you. Suddenly there was a big commotion, people were honking their cars and screaming “hey!”, you turned back to see that it was Peter. You tried walking away from him damn it he’s too fast,

“Y/n, wait!” He shouted, “what do you want, Parker?” You asked in an uninterested voice, he took a deep breath and said “I cant let you go. Not like this. I am so sorry for what happened between the two of us. The truth is, I missed you. At nights, I think about the words you said to me when you confessed. I have been a dick and I am so sorry. I know nothing can erase my actions but let’s start this over again?” You were shocked to say the least, you couldnt believe he came all the way to the airport to say that.

You pulled Peter in for a hug. “I forgive you,” you mumbled against his neck, you let go of him and said “I’m sorry too.. for not telling you any sooner,” he wiped the tears on your cheeks, “hey, its okay. I was the one who had no rights to get mad at you,” you smiled at him and he smiled back.

For the next 40 minutes, he had helped you checked in your plane and carried your baggages around. You were both now sitting in Starbucks just trying to forget about what happened. “I have something for you,” you spoke, Peter was excited to see what it was, you took it out from your backpack and showed him. It was a painting. A painting of him as Spider-man. Peter took it in his hands and admired the painting, “this is awesome, y/n!” Peter blushed knowing that you had spent your time making a potrait of him on top of a building.

“Don’t think I had never saw you looking at me when you’re on the building thats infront of my apartment window,” You sipped your coffee, Peter was embarassed to know that he was caught stalking her. “How long have you had this?” Peter asked, “A month ago when we met again. I knew immediately that you were gonna, quote on quote, keep me safe, like you used to,” you winked at him. You were right, Peter sometimes do that to people he loves. Just lingering near their houses to keep them safe.

40 minutes has gone by so fast and now it was time for you to go. “So this is it!” You said with nervous laced in your voice, “I’m gonna miss you,” Peter smiles at you. You leaned it and gave Peter a kiss on the cheek, you then took your bag from him, “I’m gonna miss you too, Spider-boy,” you smirked at him and went to the gate.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

a/n;; hii i am so sorry for the late update, my phone is fucked ;w; and i cant do anything about it since the whole world is in lockdown but here’s an angsty part 4 to make it all up! thank you all for waiting patiently!

say you love me taglist

@imawkwardandhereweare @canyonmoonspidey @thebadassbitchqueen @thequeenreaders @averyfosterthoughts @a--1--1--3

[vinylhazza]

3,12,22 w gray

3. “You’re not going out in that outfit.”  

12. “Don’t be so rough. There can’t be any marks.”

22. “Mine.”

it was girls night out with a few of your girlfriends, a night that was long overdue. you had planned on maybe going out to a movie, some drinks, and having a little shopping spree. nothing too heavy, just chick flicks and gossip. but you still wanted to look presentable. 

grayson was trying to figure out where in your brain you thought what you’re wearing is in any way shape or form okay for anyone else but him to see. he swears the short ass dress you’re wearing right now could have your straight friends between your legs at a mere glance at your silky legs. 

you were standing in the bathroom, finishing up your makeup that you’d really tried hard on this time. most of the time it’s a natural look, which grayson loves. he doesn’t think you need all that extra shit - but sometimes you liked getting dolled up more than usual. especially tonight considering you don’t get many girls nights and you wanted to go all out for once. 

he was fine with that of course. but what he wasn’t fine with was the tent growing in his pants. if it was having this effect on him, what’s to say other man won’t have that same reaction? he wasn’t the jealous or controlling type. he had an amazing father that taught him how to treat a woman. but that dress was far too short, i mean if you leaned over he’s positive he would be able to see your most sacred part and that just didn’t sit right with him. 

he let you put on a layer of lipstick while he watched from the bed, noticing you actually pull down the dress a slight bit where it rose on your legs, just about letting it show a peak of your undies in the back. 

he’d had it with watching you wear it knowing that other hungry men would surely see his angel all exposed and sexy as hell. 

he stands up from the bed before sauntering over to the doorframe of his bathroom just as you close up your makeup bag, satisfied with the nude lip and intricate eye look you’d spent so long on. 

he let his eyes wander down your body for only a moment longer before he’s clearing his throat. 

“you’re not going out in that outfit,” he says in a stern voice. 

he expects the raised eyebrows he receives after it falls from his lips. you’re confused honestly, he’s never said anything that possessive before. it’s a simple statement but it has you trying to figure out what he means as you stand in the mirror. i mean yeah, it's a little short but it’s not anything your girlfriends won't be wearing. you didn’t see the big deal. 

“uh...what?” you question, placing a hand on your hip, eyebrow raised in his direction. 

he pushes off of the doorframe with an eyeroll, reaching his hand out and under the hem of the dress, immediately touching the smooth skin of your ass - confirming his suspicions. you were nearly spilling out of the pathetic piece of cloth. it was amazing to him that you were okay with wearing something that could just as easily show your entire ass with one little slip. 

“do you see how easy that was?” he smirks, cocky look on his face when you slap his hand away with a huff. 

“grayson it’s not even that big of a deal, all of the girls are going to be wearing something similar. it’s girls night...we aren’t even going to be paying attention to anything else,” you try to reason and get that scrunched up look off of his beautiful face. 

“maybe you won’t pay attention to all of the stares you are going to get, but trust me when i say there won't be one man that won’t want to fuck the shit out of you when they see you in this tiny ass thing,” he pulls at the strap of the dress before snapping it back against your skin, not hard enough to hurt you, but hard enough to get his point across, “and to be honest that doesn’t sit right with me.” 

“but...i just bought it gray” you whine, examining yourself in the large mirror in front of you. you loved the sparkle and the way it hugged just the right spots...but maybe he was right. I mean you had bought it because you knew he would love it, but you also knew the reason he would love it. 

he steps forward to wrap his arms around you softly, kissing your cheek and rocking you in his arms. 

“you look gorgeous sweetpea that’s not the problem, the problem is that you look too damn fuckable and I don’t want these men out there thinking they can pull some shit,” he tries to explain in a way that won’t make himself sound like an ass and offend you. you just looked so...and it made him so...yeah you’re not wearing that damn dress. 

“but i don’t wanna look like a granny,” you simper, putting your hands over his arms that hug you, leaning your head back against his shoulder. 

“baby you won’t look like a granny I promise and you can still wear a dress you know? just maybe something that won’t threaten to flash your pussy to the entire world,” he chuckles, turning you around in his arms when he hears a little gasp from your lips, catching you off guard with the lust in his eyes. 

“that’s a bit overdramatic g,” you giggle, kissing his cheek, briefly glancing down to wear he is straining against his sweats. those grey sweats were a wonderful investment. 

“is it?” there is a gleam in his eye when he leans in and starts to suck hungrily at your neck. “I think you’re forgetting that men are desperate creatures...when we want something,” he pauses, “ we will stop at nothing until we have it.” 

you notice he’s sucking and slurping against the skin of your neck with each passing second. 

“don’t be so rough. there can’t be any marks,” you gasp, running a hand through his hair to pull at the roos, earing a groan from him. 

“are you going to change? because if not I will gladly show these thirsty men that you’re taken,” he mutters, never missing a beat with rolling his tongue against your reddened skin. you don’t want your friends to make fun of you and tease you for coming all freshly bruised and marked because gray just couldn't control himself...but it just felt so good. 

“fine, but you have to help me pick it out,” you cave, trying to pry him away from your neck. with one final lick against your collarbone he’s pulling away with a lick against his lips, hands kneading your ass over the thin material of your dress. it has you tempted to cancel your plans, but you step back to refrain yourself, leaving a lingering kiss on his lips before skipping out of the bathroom, leaving him hungry for you. 

he finds you in the closet, flicking through the other dresses you have hanging up, “you know you’re still going to wear the dress at some point tonight right? really not a waste of money if you ask me,” he mutters over your shoulder, eyes scanning the curve of your hips while you flick through hanger after hanger. 

“is that so?” you grin, feeling the weight of his eyes scanning over you. 

“i was thinking you could maybe give me a show when you get back...really show me what the dress has to offer,” he goes on, slipping his hands on you to rub in between your legs over your clothes pussy, noticing you pause in your search for a moment before continuing to flick through the clothes in the closet. 

“hm...i guess if you pick out a good dress I can come up with something,” your voice is dripping with seduction, moving your hips to try and get him to rub harder, but his hands keep the same slow rhythm. 

“black dress with the mesh thingys,” he responds immediately, already back to kissing on your neck as he removes his hand from your center, looking up to the closet and bringing out the dress he was referring to. 

“it’s called mesh detail you dope, and this is a nice dress isn’t it?” you take the dress from his hands and look over it once, nodding in approval while trying to ignore the pool forming in your panties. the girls would be here any minute and this sudden wardrobe change wasn’t making you feel so great about the time crunch. 

“wonderful dress,” he agrees, slipping the shimmery dress up over your hips to squeeze at your ass once again, you know he adores it, he was always an ass man.

you’re backing away from him far too soon, pulling the dress all the way off and replacing it with the slim black one, liking how elegant but casual you looked at the same time. excellent choice on his part. you’re trying to pay him no mind even though his hands on you made you feel like you were on fire, but you just couldn’t think about that right now, needed to focus on relaxing with your friends. you would worry about his fascination for your dress and the feeling of his hands on you when you got home. but he sure wasn't making it easy. 

he watches you in his place by the closet, shocked by how beautiful you look in that dress, knowing that it’s better than the last but still has a twinge in his chest that other men will get to see you in it. but pickers cant be choosers and it is less revealing than the last dress that is scattered on the floor right now. 

you’re grabbing your purse as soon as your phone dings, knowing the girls are waiting out front, ready to start their night as soon as possible. you glance up at grayson and walk over with a sway in your hips, placing a hand on his chest and leaning in close to peck his lips, lingering a moment longer before pulling away. 

“gotta go, and no touching yourself until I get back, that dress needs to have it's shining moment. love you” you whisper against the puffy pink skin of his lips, turning around to walk off. you're stopped short when he grabs ahold of your small wrist, flicking you around to face him once again.

he stares down at you with hooded eyes, wanting you to know that he will behave, but also wanting to leave you with some sort of frustration since you will be out flaunting around in that dress. 

“have fun, and I love you too,”  he grips your face by your chin, pulling you to his lips once again for a quick peck. 

you go to walk off again, but stop with wide eyes when he grips your hips and pulls you flush against his front, ass pressing into the bulge in his pants. 

“and one last thing,” he whispers in your ear, leaving a kiss to your lobe, he slips a hand back between your legs and under your panties to pinch your clit - making you jump, rubbing little circles against it for a moment, “mine.” 

with that you’re off stumbling out of his room with wobbly legs, suddenly not very excited to be leaving right now, knowing you will be eager to get home and slip that dress back on and give him your little show. 

[joongzone-blog]

ateez reaction where they can’t get ‘it’ up (m)

anon: ateez reaction where they can’t get ‘it’ up please I’m begging you

mimi: i’m so sorry these are coming late :c

. . .

HONGJOONG:

poor baby would be the one feeling embarrassed

you’d be really horny and want to do something so you start rubbing his thigh

and its hot at first cause he’s into it

but hongjoong suddenly stops kissing you and looks away

“what’s wrong baby?”

he’d shy away from you, turning his back on you cause he’s embarrassed

“joong?”

“nothing, everythings cool”

“joong, tell me”

“i can’t.....get it up....”

then you’d get all flustered and feel humiliated, asking him what you did wrong

“no baby, it’s not your fault, really, i dont know why, i think i’m just stressed or something”

and he’d try his best to comfort u bc it really isnt ur fault

he’d just kiss you on the head and cuddle you all night so that u know he still loves u

SEONGHWA:

like hongjoong i think he’d be shy about it and definitely wont tell you

you wont notice it though cause he’s the one giving you head and you’re enjoying it too much

but eventually he’ll get tired of not enjoying it and will just sigh

he’ll drop his forehead against your thigh

“seonghwa why did you stop? it was really good”

and after trying to pry it out of him he’d eventually tell you that he lost his hard on

“sorry, i really want to make you cum but i can’t do it when i’m like this”

you feel sad for him, try not to make him feel bad

it didn’t offend you either since you don’t take things to heart too easily

you button his shirt back on and tuck him into bed with you

you’re the big spoon and he’s the little one

you tell him it’s okay “we can try another time don’t worry about it

YUNHO:

with yunho he’d try sooo hard to get it up

he’s horny at first, telling you what he wants

cause he likes to be told what to do, you tell him not to touch himself while you strip for him

but for some reason he’s suddenly not feeling it, his dick just wont go up

so he tells you what’s wrong, he says he wants you to try something else

so you start to get him off, sucking him, licking him but he just cant get it up

he sighs, “take your clothes off and turn around”

he grabs the lube from the drawer, hes really hoping he can do it so he tries to rub it against you

.....but nothing

it tires you out trying different things so you tell him to stop angrily and you go into the bathroom really frustrated

yunho comes in mins later apologising for his problem and getting you mad and making you feel insecure

“im not mad at that yunho, im just frustrated that you kept pushing to do more things even though you know you cant get it up. just tell me next time okay? we can figure it out”

YEOSANG:

i think he’d be watching porn by himself and want to get himself off

but its not coming up no matter what he watches

yeosang doesn’t know why but he keeps trying, keeps trying to touch himself, think of you in scenarious

but nothing

he’s annoyed because he finds you so sexy, loves thinking of you in that red lingerie, your legs spread wide

.....but he just can’t get it up.....

when he comes out, you are horny and try to lead him into having sex but he keeps saying

“ah, i dont know babe, i dont think im in the mood”

but you dont listen, you keep thinking hes just teasing

he gets frustrated that you won’t listen so he grabs your hand and puts it against his groin

“do you feel that? i’m not in the mood”

you’re kinda :o cause its the first time he’s been moody and you apologise quickly but he says hes the one to apologise

“we’ll try again tomorrow okay?”

SAN:

i think san would be a mix of hongjoong and yunho

he’d be afraid to tell you but want to try various different things that might get it up

he’d want to watch you touch yourself

or have you touch him

or watch you try and get yourself off without touching yourself

you rub yourself against a pillow but its not enough

so you grab your vibrator and make him watch you while you enjoy making yourself feel good

you’re moaning and it’s really getting you off

but san is just watching you, feeling shy, but he’s enjoying it

he likes seeing you be satisfied even if down there it doesn’t show it

he loves it so much

when you finish you help yourself into bed, patting the empty side beside you

“come, san. i know you couldn’t get it up today but i still wanted you to watch.”

san is relieved that you don’t feel insulted cause he wants you to know that he’s still attracted to you like that

he just didnt know why he could t get it up

but one thing for sure

you = dom, san = sub

MINGI:

“babe stop, i’m sorry, i’m...”

“what? what’s wrong?”

mingi pulls out cause he’s suddenly not hard anymore

he sits by the edge of the bed trying to get himself hard again but nothing

you just wait for him unsure of what to do cause you’re not sure what’s wrong

you watch him grab his phone

and when you crawl over to him to see what he’s doing you see his search bar

—i lost my hard on what do i do—

“you lost your hard on?”

mingi gets scared cause you popped out of nowhere

“IT’S BOT YOUR FAULT I SWEAR LIKE GOD I WANNA FUCK YOU SO BAD BUT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT WANTING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD I LOST IT”

you don’t pay much attention to it, you’re not offended cause you know it’s bound to happen so you tell him it’s okay and hes like “w-what?”

and you sit back and open your legs in front of him but he’s like “???”

“i thought you wanted to make me feel good?”

WOOYOUNG:

wooyoung would freak out since he’s never had this problem

he’s always horny over you

always wanting to fuck you

but it just wasn’t coming up tonight

he’s freaking out he’s like

“oh my god it’s not hard anymoreoh my god what do i do? what do we do?”

you feel a bit embarrassed:$

“did i turn you off?” you ask

he’s like “no! the heck?!”

“are you sure? i mean i know we’ve been together for so long you’re probably bored of us...of me....but we can try new things if you w—”

he stops you with a kiss “it’s not you i promise”

but you start getting upset cause you think its not your fault and his reaction made you feel bad

but wooyoung freaks out again cause he wants you to know that he’s not turned off he just cant get it up and there’s no reason behind it

he pulls you in tightly

kisses you everywhere telling you how much he loves and adores you

how much he wants to fuck you

how he’s not bored of you

wooyoung tells you he loves you over an over and over again

JONGHO:

jongho is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKDJDJS wtf jongHODJDMD

. . .

[okradreamworl]

i have too much sans rp experience you cant understand how this feels

i know every dialogue, every neutral ending,... ugh i just wanna spat out every evidence i have. i have a love/hate on sans. im NOT a fangirl, im more of an observer roleplayer. i do NOT support any sans x ships, but that doesnt mean i am against them. if you strongly hate that ship when im on the MIDDLE on that ship (meaning i dont mind the ship yet you’re still yelling at me to stick to one side), please know I SEE ALL OTPS AS FRIENDSHIPS. i do not like romanticized nor sexual types of ships. I do NOT RP SANS AS A PEDOPHILE OR OTHER NSFW LABELS. I like to make sans stick to the canon, but at the same time, add some headcanons that appear to be family friendly but NOT NSFW FANON. he can be childish at times and why? he doesn’t make jokes, stated on undertale’s tumblr. he only does harmless pranks and hilarious yet horrible puns. i hate puns, but i make him pun cause he likes it more than me.

his mood levels is very interesting. under the mask, he can feel many other emotions than what he expresses to us. im not saying he’s an empath (though that would be rlly cool yet stressful), but slacking off too much comes from too much bs happening around him, including the timelines. he fights back when necessary. he gets offended easily (unless he knows the memes).

too happy = hyper, OOC, many exclamation points, excited, kinda reaches the peak of underswap

happy = warm attitude, thankful, calm, peaceful,

neutral = in-game functions (papyrus did say “THATS JUST HOW HE FUNCTIONS” in a phone call at snowdin, he has lazy habits caused by the code of the game)

on negative emotions, he tries not to lose his cool:

nervous = sweat, silently surprised, somewhat a high level of anxiety, confused, curious

upset = disappointed, frustrated, agitated (mix of the two, nervous and upset), bored, sassy, sarcastic (when he ironically HATES sarcasm cause he thinks sarcasm is unfunny), mild words,

some deep ones, such as the MTT resort and judgment hall scenes

stoic = thoughtful, resilient, deep, calm, self-reflective, productive, creative

hands in pockets = confident, a little arrogant

left wink = bad time

right wink = friendly comedian

what i applied to him thus far:

out of character traits: playful, hyper, excited, childlike, forgetful type of innocent (“whats a [bad word]” “I tHoUghT yOu kNew?!!?!?!,” “no i forgot” “*alphys crying in the corner of confusion*”)

out of character acts: crying like a baby, screaming on wild rides, freaks out with a manly “HYaH!”, imitates animals, does his “ehhhhhhh” when gazing around, wanders around, waddles like a penguin, will hug you (like a kid that would hang on to their mother’s leg), doesnt wanna be left out, wants to try new things out of curiosity, complete mind of a child unless reminded of in-game events or other topics that could bring him back to normal, germophobic at times as woshua, meme surfing, gamer, good sport

in character, in-game traits: self-aware, relaxed. laid back, comedic, lazy, magical, goofy, silly, friendly deep, serious, scared, anxious, jealous, nilhilistic, hopeless. depressed, pressured, stressed.

in-character, in-game acts (and im not getting this from zarla’s old skeleton ACTs comic):

sneak

greet

trick

alert

annoy

pun

pun

assure

joke warn

listen

spin

advice (blue stop sign)

guess

assure

tell

place puzzle

trick

react

papyrus fact

stare

papyrus fact

ask

react

worry

work

ask (grillbys)

slack

lie

ask (dinner)

story

Think

continue

Death Glare

Explain

Judge

call

root

text

text

cry (“help i’m getting slandered”)

text

dismiss

glimpse

leave

ride

at least, thats only pacifist.

my username is not sans worthy but i can tell you im a good sans roleplayer. heck, i even have my own sans who self-disciplines me, or i roleplay him myself irl. its harmless, cause he isn’t real. i affect his character more than his influence and traits affect me. i completely ruined him into a better person, he’s very happy now and got along more with his friends. i even made papyrus not yell at him anymore. i made these monsters have... a happy life.

any questions or concerns, pm or ask. also, if you see any undertale or deltarune chats, invite me. i know a lot about it, and have headcanons to share too.

if this post makes you think i outsans’d you, please dont look at it that way, otherwise you’re just jealous the same way as feeling how artists are better than you. we all have our ways how we view, act, and use characters like sans, as we all have an art style that can be unique and improved overtime, BOTH by inspiration from other fandom and art content. some rp his genocide side, some like me rp his bright side. this isn’t a canon character roleplay competition.

people can be so sensitive and raging mad sometimes, i dont mean to be so braggy or too honest, this is all from what i know about sans and how i rp him

[kookiesandbananamilk]

Harmony - Pt. 2

Summary: Being an idol was an entirely new experience for you, and meeting the famous Jeon Jungkook didn´t change that fact.

Words:  1756 (sorry It is so short, I am not sure anyone read these anyways) 

Genre: Smut (Im blushing of myself but I aim to please), Fluff

A strong urge rushes trough you to kiss him and run your fingers through his hair, but stunned by the situation all you could do was to stand there looking perplexed, Jungkook becoming more and more visibly unsure. How did this boy manage to go up on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of fans, hip-thrusting like his life depended on it, eye-fucking the fan-cams and make both men and women swoon over him, but at the same time sit here, nervously so on the edge of your bed, looking oddly like a nervous bunny.

Jungkook wasn't sure how to react to your standstill. Usually invitations for girls to go to bed with him ended with both panting after fucking multiple times. He looked down at his feet, black socks and slightly wiggled his toes. He scrunched his nose and bit his bottom lip. You couldn’t help yourself and the next moment you found yourself sitting on top of his, your lips interlocking with his, tasting the beer on his lips mixed with a sweet, unidentifiable taste. He is taken aback by you launching yourself at him and sits unable to move for a few seconds before intertwining one hand in the hair at the back of your neck pulling you from him. He looks at you surprised, making you blush heavily and cursing under your breath for making  such a bold move. He smirks, a smirk that sends shivers through your body, heating up your core, before pushing you towards him again in desperation and lust. You bite down on his bottom lip, giving it a slight pull, making him groan deeply.  

 He pulls at the back og your t-short tugging it over your head, The loss of his mouth on yours making you wince slightly. “This is a bit unfair”, you say looking down at your almost naked upper body, thankful that you had worn a simple but cute black lace bra today, and then at his thick hoodie. He hastily removes it and throws you down on the bed, laying on top of you, his growing bulge pressing against your core to provide some sort of release. He moved away from your lips leaving small kissed on your neck, moving down to your breast, his hands massaging one, his thumb lightly brushing your nipple under your bra. He pulls you up, unhooking your bra before launching it to the other side of the room. You laugh at the gesture, and he smiles proudly, before going down licking one nipple before sucking on it lightly, abruptly anding your giggling. He gives it a slight bite prompting a silent moan to leave your lips,  “Jungkook-ah”, you can notice him smiling, and continue placing kisses further down towards the waistband of your shorts, you pushing hips towards him in anticipation.

 «Eager baby?” He say giving your shorts a light pull with his teeth. He haven't even toughed you yet and you are already a moaning mess, raising your hips so he can easily rid you of your shorts and panties. He stands still for a few seconds admiring your naked body, letting the tips of his fingers trace the inner part of your legs, he leans down and places light kisses on your thighs, kissing upward, skipping the part you wish he would kiss the most with a mischievous grin, “jungkook-ah” you sigh in frustration causing him to brush his fingertips lightly over your core, and continues to kiss your hipbones, leaving small bites and kisses all over your skin, you breath heavily. “Baby, what do you want?” He asks in a low but stern voice. “Please jungkook…” you moan unable to voice your  wants, pressing your hips towards him, hoping for him to stop the teasing. “Say it sweetheart”, he says, ceasing all contact with your skin. “Please Jungkook, please just touch me baby” you wine, spreading your legs more and giving his soft, light brown hair a tug. Seconds later you let out a loud moan clasping your mouth, remembering that the others were watching a movie just down the hall. His tongue liking your slit painfully slowly, taking his time to savor you. “Baby, you taste amazing”, Jungkook moans, his blunt words causing your cheeks to flush. He sucks lightly on your clit, and you moan out in pleasure and pain. He uses his long fingers to spread you and eases one long finger into you. “Fuck, how are you this tight?” He murmurs against your wet core and moves his fingers slowly before easing in another, letting his tongue flick your clit between sucking on it, your body jolting. You grip the sheets and try to think straight, your hands frantically trying to get a hold so you could drag yourself back into reality,  buy the combination of Jungkooks hands and tongue makes it hard for you to even remember your own name. You find your core tightening and you press your hips towards his face to chase your orgasm, you loudly moan his name, fully ignoring the house full of people when it hits you, causing your inner and outer to shake.

 Jungkook lays next to you, a proud smile on his face, giving his lips a gentle lick before leaning into kissing you again, you reach down to grab his cock, and your fingertips barely hit his clothed member. Knock, knock, knock. Jungkook sighs in frustration, «Jungkook-ah» Namjoons voice seeps through the door. You frantically look for yoir clothes, flushing, terrified that he will come in. «We have to go now, Pdnim wants us back at the dorms». «Just a second hyung!» Jungkook yells back, taking  a few deep breaths before pulling on the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath the hoodie before giving you a small peck his lips still tasting of your wetness. He smiles widely, his bunny teeth visible and say «I guess we have to continue this another time», before hurrying out.

 When you decide to make an apperance in the livingroom an hour later the three girls were sitting there, Sunhee and Yeji watching some kind of drama and Inhye busy scrolling through SNS. «You missed the whole movie», Yeji said in a casual tone. «Anything interesting happened?» She cock an eyebrow trying to act uninterested but you know they all are dying to know. «Uhm nothing in partiqular» you say looking down, trying yo force your increasingly red face to stay a normal colour. «Stop lying! You are wearing his hoodie and your hair did not look like that this morning!» Inhye squeels throwing a pillow at you. «We might have kissed», you mumble, Jungkooks warm hoodie, smelling exactly like you imagined it would of warm cotton, washing powder, musk and vanilla, comforting you. The girls all started talking over each other, asking all kinds of questions about how it was and do you realize you kissed THE Jeon Jungkook. You just silently retreat back to your room, imagine the warm sweater being him holding you when you fall asleep.

 It was so unlike you to be this stupidly crazy over a boy. Yes, you definitely had been in love before, or at-least had crushes, but not like this, everything that happened during the next day reminding you of him. You didn’t even know if he even liked you. You had just met and had just slept together, well almost slept together, he probably did this all the time. Trying to seem cool and chill about it all and forcing your expectations to lower you turn of your phone to avoid texting him first. You had always thought of yourself as strong and independent and you were definitely not the type of girl to sit around waiting for a boy to call, but something about this particular boy made you feel like when you had your first crush in middle school.

 The next few days are uneventful, rather busy with dance practices and music producing and monitoring. You are tired and your whole body aches when you sitt in the sofa in your dorms with the other members. Your hair in a bun, wearing sweatpants and watching some drama on tv you dont really know what is about when a message plings into your phone.

 20.49 [Bunny]

Hey, Its JK, want to go for a drive or something?

 You are not an idiot even you know a drive means sex, even if you are a rookie you know that driving to a remote location often the only way idols are able to "date". But you can´t say you are too opposed to the idea. The thought of Jungkooks slim but muscular torso, soft lips and sweet smell is enought to induse a delishious tingle in your core unlike the way any guy has done before. You have often found yourself daydreaming about what that boy could do in bed, only to come to your senses and worry that you had drooled all over the place. You take a deep breath and answer his text with a yes.

 20.55 [Bunny]

Ill pick you up in thirty.

 A little more than 30 minutes later you find yourself sitting in a luxurious mercedes, the leather seats making your skin stick to the seats making you curse yourself for wearing such a short skirt. You look out the window nervously using your fingertips to smooth down the hem of the skirt even if it lays perfectly to begin with. Jungkook is talking about his day and practice and his voice and slight lisp when he gets exited about something is comferting and strangely familiar and makes your heart beat at least at a normal speed, even though even his presence, his soft smell of vanilla and some kind of spice you cant really pinpoint that fills the air is enought for you to forget to breath at times. When you stop at an intersection Jungkook lays his big hands on top of yours, which are nervously fiddeling with your skirt. You hitch slightly, the softness of his touch catching you by supprise. "Hey", he says smoothly, his voice, crystal clear. "Dont be nervous". He laughs slightly moving his hand upwards, his slender fingertips only slightly caressing the skin of your exposed arms and softly grabs the hair in the nape of your neck. "Relax noona", Jungkook says with a michevous smile biting his lower lip to hold back a smile, seing your mock offended face and suffering from a few light, playfull punches to the shoulder

[solas-you-egg]

ok you know what i’ve just realized. and bear with me here.

We all know (regretably) that people on a certain side of the spectrum have ben SCREAMING that everyone has become too fragile, and gets offended too easily, right? 

Well i’m about to agree with them. But not the way they want

I am sooooo fucking TIRED of having to police myself every time I make a funny comment about how “JK Rowling is Dead to me, that Bitch”. Because inevitabily some rando is going to pop up in the conversation, being all huffy and offended because they still like hp and they feel like i personally insulted and judged them because i made one (1) funny comment. 

And then I have to manouver the minefield of “I honestly dont give a fuck if you still identify by your hogwarts house.” and “i dont expect you to be fully informed about the situation because it hits that much closer to home to me” and “HP was a vital part of my teenage years but because the author has revealed herself to be a hot pile of steaming shit i just cant look at her work the same because there are so many new and problematic implications” and also “actually hp was always hella racist” and “OMG cant a gal make a funny comment without getting the right wing devils advocate team on her back”.

Not everything is an invitation to flex your debating skills and show how much youve picked up on those weird internet fora you love to frequent.

Like one of my supposed best friends had the AUDACITY to declare that “Well yeah but all those transpeople get way too offended now and you’re not even allowed to make a tiny mistake and you get dogpiled online.” while mentioning an obscure example that I DIDNT EVEN KNOW OF. And then she expects me to just agree with her so that she can shake that uncomfortable feeling of actually doing the work and unlearning the harmful stereotypes that we’ve all been raised in because we live in a society and fuck. To me. TO ME! TO ME WHILE KNOWING MY HISTORY! ACTUAL WTF

Fuck i am so okay with educating people and i have lovely friends who are receptive and they educate me right back. But some people I know make me soooo tired.

Because I just know they’ll say something fucked up, and expect me to treat them like a tiny baby that cant do no wrong, while carefully explaining to them step by step why the thing is fucked up. and if i show even a hint of emotion or frustration or anger, i know i’ll get labeled an Angry SJW who gets offended too easily and you know what... 

fuck it maybe i will next time because for someone on the side that supposedly gets offended too easily, i feel like the only thing i am doing is kissing their booboos and telling them what big and good people they are, and that they shouldnt pay attention to those people telling them theyre actually awful because maybe they need the exposure and maybe treating them with kid gloves is actually not going to help them change their opinions

/rant over

[kottakitty]

You Need Not Worry - A Wind in the Willows Fanfiction

Moley waits up for Ratty, who is much later coming home than he said he would be.

FF.Net

Wattpad

Ao3

Click the read more to keep reading on here!

So Wind in the Willows closed at the Palladium yesterday and it still hasn't truly sunk in yet that its over. But while watching it yesterday Moles line "You loved Toad once." stuck out to me a bit, what if Ratty and Toad dated once? But it didn't work out due to the difference in class and personality. So then this little fic happened.

I hope you enjoy it!

-.-.-.-

“You loved Toad once you know”

-.-.-.-

Mole sat by himself in his chair by the fireside, a place where he’d spent many nights before he met a man who changed his life for the better. Though, temperature wise he was as warm as warm could be, he felt cold inside. Ratty had said he’d be back hours ago from Toads house. Mole knew full well that Ratty could take care of himself just fine- Ratty was the more capable of the two of them, this was just pain fact. But that wouldn't stop Moley from worrying.

He sighed and rose from his chair, looking out the window at the snow that was gently falling and beginning to settle on the ground outside.

Perhaps, he thought, Ratty had decided to stay at Toad house the evening to avoid the snow? Or maybe, Ratty had a few too many drinks and in his merry state he’d forgotten they were staying at Moles house and he’d gone back to the river bank by mistake. Both were very reasonable and comforting solutions to Mole, as his Ratty would be safe and sound.

But also Mole couldn’t help but think that perhaps Ratty had been on his way back when he’d been attacked by some Wild Wooders and was now lying injured or worse alone in the snow. Or maybe, while having such a good time with Toad, Ratty had forgotten all about Moley and decided to re-kindle his old flame with Toad. Both were quite unreasonable and unsettling solutions for Mole, for obvious reasons.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust that Ratty, it was just that Moley worries perhaps a bit more than a normal animal should. He’d been alone for so long, the thought of going back to that made a deep deep sadness settle in his stomach.

Mole took his glasses off and cleaned them on his jumper, looking around his house without his glasses on made him really understand why people say “as blind as a mole”. He put them back on and blinked a few times, his eyes re-adgusting to being able to see clearly. He looked at the mug of cocoa he’d brewed for Ratty earlier for his return.

He really was late back.

Once a month Toad held a Poker night at Toad hall. Moley had attended once, but he found it all too confusing and Ratty had ended up quite frustrated as Mole kept telling everyone what cards he had. Ratty had been in quite a mood after that night but he cooled off quite quickly after Mole had apologised for ‘ruining his game’. Mole was always invited but he didn’t like to intrude, it was a serious game that was more complicated than it was worth. Ratty always offered to stay home and keep Mole company, but he would feel guilty if he kept Ratty from a fun evening.

Moley looked back out the window, he squinted in to the distance and he could see a very familiar silhouette moving towards his house and he let a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding out. He hopped out of the little entrance to Mole end and stood in the cool air as he waited for his partner to be back at his side.

“Hello stranger.” Ratty said with a smirk as he got within ear shot “Thought you’d be asleep already dear, what keeps you?”

“Oh like you don’t know why I’m still up at this hour” Moley replied a little more sharply than he’d intended.

“Have you been waiting for me?” Ratty said with a frown, He was stood in-front of Moley now “You know these poker evenings can go on for sometime.”

“That is true, but never this long.” Moley said looking up at Ratty “You’re at least three hours later than usual…” He mumbled, this wasn’t a big deal really but Moley had been quite concerned and lonely.

“That must be an exaggeration Moley do be serious.” Ratty rolled his eyes and kissed Moley on the cheek gently “Come on, its chilly out.” and with that he climbed in to Mole End. Leaving Mole feeling slightly annoyed- he wasn’t exaggerating at all, it was the truth. He stood outside for a little longer, fuming quietly, before he followed Ratty in to his house.

-.-.-.-

Ratty knelt by the fireplace and warmed his hands “You can tell its Winter cant you? I thought I might freeze my tail off tonight!”

Moley only hummed in confirmation that he’d heard Ratty.

“Whats got you down Moley? It cant be that I was out for longer tonight can it?”

“So you admit it then?” Mole raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” Ratty said puzzled.

“That you were out longer tonight, a good few hours might I add.” Moley huffed, he really didn't want them to fight but he could feel it coming on, he always got this uneasy feeling when an argument was on the horizon.

“Well I suppose I may have been. Toad brought round a few extra rounds of drinks and I may have lost myself slightly.” Ratty laughed “It was a very merry evening all round.”

“I’m glad you had a good time at least then.” Moley folded his arms, he didn’t like this feeling.

Ratty stood from the fire “You don’t need to keep such close tabs on me Moley, whats a few hours in the grand scheme of things, aye?”

“It feels like a small eternity when you don’t know whats going on.” Mole couldn’t hold back how bitter he sounded, he was very unlike him and he knew it.

Rat paused for a moment, trying to work out what was going on with his partner. Then it clicked and he rubbed his eyes in annoyance “I should have never told you that myself and Toad once dated- you’ve never been the same since you know?” It had only been a few weeks since Ratty had told Mole, wanting his most favorite person in the whole world to know everything about him- warts and all.

Mole got a bit offended at that comment “The bloody cheek! I’ve been the same Mole I’ve always been! Its you who’s been off out without me more often than not.” That wasn’t quite the case but Mole wasn’t thinking straight right now, he felt quite fragile.

“I have not!” Ratty defended “You're with me all the time Moley, if I were having eyes for Toad again, heaven forbid, I’m sure you of all people would notice.” he scratched behind his ear- something he did when he was irritated.

Mole sunk slightly “I suppose… I’ll make us a hot drink.” he didn’t want to argue, he could see what Ratty was saying.

He was just being his usual over-thinking self.

Ratty watched his love sadly fill the kettle and put the stove on underneath it to set it to boil. In the corner of his eye he saw his prized blue mug next to his chair, a drink that had been made for him earlier and had now gone cold Ratty assumed- He wasn’t that late was he? Ratty looked at the clock on the wall and suddenly felt quite guilty, he was much much later than usual indeed.

Moley was reaching up to the top shelf in the kitchen to get the cocoa powder down, feeling quite sorry for himself honestly. When suddenly, two familiar strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist and lifted him up slightly, making him the right height to easily get the little jar down. “Ratty you can put me down now” He chuckled slightly. Once his feet were planted safely on the ground again Moley turned to face Ratty and was quite surprised when the next thing he knew a very loving kiss was pressed to his lips.

“You must accept my apologies Moley, I am so sorry to have kept you up like this. I really did not know it was such a late hour. A pig I’ve been as always.”

Moley having had all his sad feeling kissed away said bashfully “Oh it matters not anymore”

“-and as for Toad” Ratty continued, holding Moleys waist close to his and putting a hand to the other mans cheek tenderly “Never in a thousand years or in any lifetime could I love him even a fraction as much as I love you my dear Moley. I am yours always, from the moment I saw you across the river that faithful day.”

“I know that Ratty, I just cant help but worry sometimes, my mind runs away with itself when I’m on my own” Moley pressed his head to Rattys chest.

Ratty run a hand through the shorter mans hair “Well then I shall just have to remind you of my feelings for you more often.” He smiles warmly “Come, lets finish making this hot cocoa together, we can take it back to bed with us stay up and watch the sunrise, it comes up earlier in winter.”

“I would like that a lot Ratty, my oh my how I would like that.” Mole grinned up at the love of his life as they set to work together.

-.-.-.-

Please like and re-blog if you enjoyed it!

[eds-zebra-warrior]

2021 Ehlers Danlos Society Awareness Month (Day 9 Prompt: Inclusion)

Inclusion is a difficult topic for me as it's very difficult to feel included. This actually comes hand in hand with discrimination, segregation and inequality, especially being someone with EDS who can’t walk. When it comes to family, I can go into my own house and into my neighbor's house and that's about it. I grew up in the invisible illness community, eventually making me part of the rare disease community. As my symptoms progressed and I was paralyzed, becoming a permanent wheelchair user, then fell into the visible illness community. I will explain my lack of inclusion not only among the community, friends and family but also exclusion I face within the medical system and law enforcement.

I have been excluded by all outings and holidays by my extended family. My aunt likes to have holidays at her house and had a wheelchair ramp installed when her mom got older. Not long after the passing of my grandma, I was paralyzed, going into a chair. Being in a chair and my aunt knowing I cannot walk soon after removing the ramp from her house with little to no consideration of my needs so now when she has holiday dinners at her house I cannot go. I brought up the ramp once and she said “Well I didn't think about you” then later I realized how hurtful and mean what she said was so I sat down asking questions like “So you can't walk at all? “Have you ever tried to see if you can stand up?” “Well what about physical therapy?” “Well, I went to physical therapy when I had cancer and it helped a lot so I don't know why it didn't help you.” Which honestly was even more hurtful because I am not even a candidate for physical therapy after being paralyzed during physical therapy.

With cancer going rampant in my family somehow when family members ask about me and how I've been, they somehow seem to turn the conversation into cancer. “Trust me I know what pain is, I had cancer and if you ever get cancer you will learn what real pain feels like.” of from those older than me saying “You're too young for pain, Wait till you’re my age, then you’ll know what real pain is”, failing to even research EDS, Multiple Neuropathies, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome or any of my other conditions. The McGill Pain Scale has recently been challenged with a study done on a cohort of EDS patients. It was found that EDS is more painful than Complex Reginal Pain Syndrome which originally took the top place on the chart as the most painful condition with Cancer pain hitting around the mid range area of the scale. Some tend to downsize EDS and make it sound like I’m just a wimp for needing medication for my pain. I always hear things like “Me and my daughter were sick and we are both doing great now. Why aren't you getting better? Again, this relates my condition to cancer and other long term conditions that are a lot more common and have treatment and/or surgery that can put them into remission.

EDS has no remission. It doesn't magically go away. I have a gene mutation and as of now, you cannot repair a broken gene so this is forever. There is no remission but society is raised to believe cancer is the worst thing a person can ever go through and cancer is also one of those conditions where there are two outcomes. You go into remission and get better, living life normally or possibly on several meds to keep you functioning well, with the exception of younger children or some adults who have organ systems permanently damaged by chemo but even then they are much healthier and have a much more normal life than they did with active cancer. There's also the other side of the spectrum. You die. There are so many conditions that, depending on the type of cancer or hormonal mutations can easily be much worse than cancer leaving people much sicker than chemo patients but with no chance of remission. Imagine being on chemo for 50 years straight.

I have learned to hate the discussion of cancer when others compare pain and symptoms because many with chronic and/or rare diseases like Ehlers Danlos, Lupus, Muscular Sclerosis, Lateral Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteogenesis Imperfecta and many more are also very dangerous, have a lot of serious symptoms and comorbidities, risk the person's life and can very well cause more pain or more systemic symptoms than cancer. I am not saying cancer is not important, I am just saying people with these conditions are also compared with people who have cancer with most people who do this not knowing anything about our condition, just going off of the assumption that what we hear about most in the media, what has the most fundraisers and financial backing and what has the most attention has to be worse. Many more will get offended if you explain or give them information relating to the pain levels found in EDS mad that you would ever compare your own medical condition to cancer even after they just did the exact same thing by invalidating your pain and saying something like "If you think you're in pain now you should experience the pain that comes along with cancer. Now that's real pain" Its as if its okay for them to compare but not you making it automatically wrong for you to stick up for yourself when they try to invalidate your pain. The worst part is when they do this day in and day out without even noticing they are doing it. It gets exhausting and frustrating when someone is always trying to tell you why you are weak and spread the misconception that all cancer patients are much sicker than these other conditions, downgrading you. This leads to a lot of people giving unsolicited medical advice, telling you all the reasons why you aren't getting better knowing nothing about your condition so it really does go both ways and gets old to hear.

Another issue I had with inclusion was when my cousin got married. I have food allergies and couldn't eat anything they were serving. At the time I was a teenager and couldn't drive so my mom told my aunt she was going to go to Wendy's and get me a baked potato because I needed to take my medications and needed to take them with food. We were at the reception and next thing I knew my aunt was literally screaming at the top of her lungs at my mom about how she wishes my dad had never married her, she cant stand her and I’m a spoiled rotten little brat. My mom kept trying to get a word in telling her I have food allergies and can't eat what she has so it has nothing to do with being spoiled and it's not that I don't want what they are eating and honestly would probably rather have what they are eating but that I can’t because before my diagnosis gluten put me in multiple organ failure. My aunt was yelling about how she will not take my mom leaving and coming back and me eating Wendy's at their beautiful wedding and continued saying, if I’m hungry enough I will eat what they have and she needs to quit spoiling me and allowing me to have a different meal than everyone else was eating like I was a picky little kid instead of someone who if I ate what they were serving I can go into organ failure or anaphylactic shock. If she didn't think a Wendy's baked potato fit into her daughter's wedding décor scheme she would have really not been happy to have an emergency squad backed up to the door, a gurney and a bunch of paramedics so my mom, myself and my dad didn't understand why she was making such a big deal out of it. My dad then told my aunt we are going to leave and apologies to my cousin for leaving the reception early. After he did this my aunt started calling my mom and I derogatory terms still yelling while my mom was simply talking and trying to keep it quiet so it wouldn't be a big deal but she started calling me and my mom derogatory names and didn't talk to my mom for two years all over a baked potato and my food allergies.

Outside of the family also have little access to inclusion as I have not one friend with a wheelchair ramp or no steps going into their house so zero access to visiting friends as well as family. The lack of understanding crosses over to friends as well and I have lost most of them. I’m not the best when it comes to visiting friends as my health is so unpredictable and many people take this as me being flakey or not wanting to visit when most of them knew how timely and never canceled on them when I was healthier. I also had two friends who used me and manipulated the situation to make it sound as if I was the reason we never hang out. One of these people, she and her husband did a lot of traveling and it seemed like every time she was out of town she would contact me and ask if she and her husband could come visit me when they came back. I would agree and when she was back in town she would usually ignore my messages until a day or two before leaving again and say “I wish you would have said something sooner. We’re packing up now and about to leave to go to Florida now. They would leave and she would message me saying they were on a Disney cruise but when she comes back they wanted to visit me if I was up for it. Again she would either not tell me when she got home or I would message her that day or a day or two later telling her if they want to visit it's fine with no response and no response until right before they were about to leave again saying something like “Oh, well we're about to go to California. I wish you would have let me know sooner, not acknowledging the message was originally sent a week or two prior. When I finally asked if they really wanted to visit or not and what was going on, she then responded saying, well every time I ask if you want to hang out, you never do which was far from the truth since she would only talk about visiting when on vacation or while packing to leave the state again.

Another friend of mine since high school did something similar. She would call or text me and ask if I wanted to hang out the next day and of course sometimes I said no but a lot of the times I said sure because it was something low key like she would come over here to visit or just meet at the dog park or something. If I said yes she would say “I know you have good days and bad days and your health can change so if you are still up for it call me at 10:00 in the morning and let me know what you want to do. Well 10:00 am would come around and I would call her and say I was up for hanging out and she would say “well, I’m actually at my sister in laws now so can we do it another time” another time she would call and tell me if I’m up for it call her around noon and I would call her at 11:30 or so and tell her I’m up for it and she would say “Oh, well I didn't know if you would be up for it or not, I actually took my daughter to the park so we will have to get together another time.” Next time she would call me that morning and tell me she was going to be in my area and asked if I wanted to meet her for lunch. I would agree and she said she was going to take a nap and to call her at noon. I would call and she would say “Oh, well I’m at the mall with another friend, can we meet up another day”

Don't get me wrong, she was like this before I got sick and when we were kids where she would cancel a lot but when I got sick and she was calling me at least once a month to hang out and after two years went by and every single one she canceled out on me to hang out with another friend or go somewhere else and only two of those were because you had a doctor appointment or something and declined on your own there's a problem. I asked why she didn’t seem to want to hang out and she said “What's the point because every time I call you say you're not up for it. When I only said I wasn't up for it twice and she canceled more than 20 times in a row, having no problem telling me she was hanging out with a friend from work or someone else making plans to replace the plans she made with me so this is another struggle I have faced since getting sicker.

The people I used to think were my friends who obviously don't like me because I’m boring and can't go out and party, run around the mall for 8 hours or go to the fair and ride all the rides with them but now can only handle the low key stuff like lunch, going to watch a movie, stay here and play cards, go to one of those paint with a friend things or something low key like that and I know the fact is that they don't like these low key activities and think I’m boring to hang out with but don't want to tell me this and I truly believe they don't want to admit to themselves that they don't like me anymore since I’m now disabled so they try to push the blame on me and throw it into the pile of problems I already have lol so friendships just don't work out well for me either.

Now that we have covered inclusion with family and friends let's talk about the community. I have always said, even before I was disabled that the communities that face the most inequality and discrimination are the communities you never hear about when discrimination and inequality is brought up. The Deaf Community, the Disabled Community, the LGBTQ+ Community, the Rare Disease Community and the Invisible Illness Community are the communities who I believe have the most severe lack of inclusion, face the most discrimination, face the most prejudice, endure the most physical, verbal and emotional abuse and have the fewest rights many take for granted. Black Lives Matter has really made me realize how severe these disparities are. Being in a chair I can’t just go to a small town. If we are going on a trip to Cleveland Clinic or the University of Toledo and we are driving through a small town with a lot of small, mom and pop businesses I can't stop and shop at one of those stores. If I have to go to the bathroom they don't have a wheelchair ramp going into their building so not only can I not go into a single store but I am unwelcomed by the entire city.

With ADA being signed in 1990, 21 years later the Columbus Police Department says and I quote “ADA laws aren't real laws and shouldn't be treated as such. Our own police have left me outside on the second coldest day of the year in January when two cars parked illegally in front of both handicap curb cut ramps going down to a parking lot. Instead of enforcing these laws and punishing those who illegally parked in front of these ramps or taking the time to send an officer out to help get me and my chair off of the curb they told me it was my problem and though every building in the strip mall had closed down that it was my responsibility to sit out in the cold with pure autonomic failure and the inability maintain my body temperature indefinitely until someone came back for their car which resulted in me going into hypothermia.

With BLM coming to the surface the disabled are seen as weak and also are essentially the punishing back for the black community now just because we are seen as weak and easy targets to take their anger out on. I have been through the illegal parking issue time and time again. Another time a black man parked in front of the curb cut. My dad kindly asked him to move his vehicle and he told us we had to wait while he finished his conversation with his friend which took about 20 minutes. We were in a bad area of town and my dad and I were the minority so there wasn't much we could say or do or we would be seen as the ones who were racist. This 20 minutes was one of the scariest times of my life as a woman overheard my dad asking him if he would mind moving his vehicle so I could use the ramp. She came up to me and pointed to my dad who is a senior citizen, asking why he can't lift me up in my chair and off of the curb. This area was old and fan down so the sidewalks had been done multiple times so the curb was quite high. It was about 10 inches up from the parking lot so not a little bump I can just back off of and I was 112 lbs., sitting in a 39 lb. wheelchair with a 17 lb. service dog and I didn't understand what she was talking about because she couldn't possibly mean for him to lift all of that weight himself and put me onto the ground plus the wheels spin and even with the wheels locked the wheels will still move so you need two people to lift a person in a chair without flipping it. Anyhow, kind of confused I said “No, I don't think so”

She then went off yelling about how I'm an overly entitled white bitch who thinks she can get whatever I want handed to me on a golden platter. My family probably owned slaves and how I have a lot of nerve to ask a “N word” to move their car so I can use a ramp that belongs to the community and doesn't have my name on it. How he can park wherever he damn well pleases and white bitches like me need to be shot thanking we can get all our NEEDS met when we don't even know what needs are because they “N words” have had to go without their needs for 400 years now calling me multiple swear words and derogatory terms as well as saying multiple times that I need shot. After about 20 minutes of her in my face screaming at me during Covid and me saying please, I have a compromised immune system or I’m sorry, I just can't get to my car the guy finally said he would move his car for us to leave. It was terrifying but things like this happen all the time.

Another incident happened in Aldi near the beginning of the pandemic. The checkout line was massive and stretched ¾ way down the second isle. And there was one of those electric pallet jack things they use that can't be moved because you need a key to start them on the right side of the isle so no space to get through I just waited at the back of the line until it got past the pallet jack so I could get by which wasn't an issue because the line always moves really fast at Aldi and there were only two people with carts in line behind the pallet jack so I got in line behind the last woman in line and locked my breaks. I put my smaller service dog on my lap because the isle was really crowded and I didn't want her to get stepped on.

Next thing I knew there was a black woman coming around the corner yelling everybody move, get out of my way slamming her cart into the back of my nearly new $7000 wheelchair and $7000 smart drive so hard that she shoved me in my chair, with the wheels locked about two feet forward and my foot plate into the ankles of the woman in front of me and kept pushing her cart yelling at me to move. I was still shocked at what was happening so all I could do was say “I can’t” because of course the line ran beside the pallet jack which couldn't be moved so there was only about 4 inches between the edge of the fork of the pallet jack and everyone's cart. The woman let go of her cart and walked up to the side of my chair, grabbing my right side push rims and tires and yelled “I SAID MOVE!” and pulled up flipping me and my service dog out of my chair and onto the ground with my body hitting the shelf to my left and dragging a ton of baking products off the shelf and on top of us. A bunch of people turned around and gasped when she did this and the woman's teenage daughter embarrassingly yelled “MOM NO!” then ran up around her mom and flipped my chair upright.

I was sitting there on the ground so shocked I still didn't know if I was hurt being someone who is prone to dislocations, traumatic brain injuries and having multiple spinal cord manifestations. The woman's daughter was almost in tears from embarrassment and reached down to grab my arm to try to help get me back into my chair when her mom yelled at her to get over there The girl said “but mom” and she said “get your ass over here now” and turned around her cart to start to go around the next isle. The girl then let go of my arm, her eyes still all watery because she was about to cry, she mouthed to me “I’m sorry” and ran around to the other isle where her mom was. Of course I didn't blame her daughter. She tried to help and I felt bad for her too. She tried and proved she was different from her mom.

After they went down the other isle the woman in front of her and the woman in front of me started helping me. I was checking my service dog Maggie to make sure she wasn't hurt and she seemed fine, just had eyes as big as saucers like she was kind of in shock over the whole thing too. The lady in front of me picked Maggie up off of me and held her in one arm while both picked up all of the cake, brownie, cookie and powdered sugar laying on the floor and all over me and put it on the shelf. She then put Maggie down on the floor for a second while they both helped get me back into my chair and then the one in front of me picked Maggie up again and put her on my lap. The Lady in front of me pulled up her pants leg to look at the back of her ankle where my foot plate slammed into her and she was bleeding. I apologized and she laughed sarcastically and said “It's not your fault, trust me, you are not the one who should be apologizing for this.

The three of us started talking with the one in front of her talking about how disgusting it was that she did that to me when right then the woman who slammed the cart into the back of me came up the front of the isle yelling at everyone near the front of the line to get out of her way. She didn't physically assault any of them like she did me but she was yelling at everyone to get out of her way, shoving her way between carts to try to get things off of the shelf and throwing it into her cart. There were only two employees working that day, one ringing people up and one trying to stock all of the shelves that were being picked through faster than she could stock so I can't blame the employees either because they were grossly understaffed.

I have had so many experiences like this since Black Lives Matter took off, a lab core worker talking bad about me because I showed up without an appointment when their door and website says “Walk ins welcome” and I tried to make an appointment but the captcha was down on their website so I wasn't able to confirm that I wasn’t a robot in order to submit my appointment and purposely showed up at 11:30 am because you could see already claimed appointments and 11:00, 11:30, and 12:00 were all open appointments. To make things better, My doctor had already sent the request and I scanned it into the tablet they had there as well as scanning in pictures of my license and insurance so everything was filled out and all I needed was to pick up two plastic, half gallon jugs for a 24 hour urine test.

She was in the back calling me similar names to what the woman did at the eye center when the guy was illegally parked, bringing up slavery and how my grandparents may have been able to get away with whipping “N words” to get them to do what they wanted but I can’t, how inconsiderate I was for walking in and who did I think I was thinking I can just walk in all unannounced without an appointment. She said “I ought to slap that bitch! Girl, you gonna have to hold me back before I slap that bitch” talking to the other phlebotomist. I could hear everything she was saying after she closed the door and she went on and on, came out and asked for my paperwork so she could put it in the system, ripping it out of my hand, kept going on and on saying nasty things about me then finally came back out and nicely said “Oh, I didn't know you already put all of this in the system for me. So you’re just here to pick up the jug?” I said “Yeah, I've done one of these before so I don't need any instructions or anything, just the jugs. She went back and still talking nasty about me came back a minute later with the jugs and said nicely have a nice day but still her body language wasn't nice and you could tell her friendly voice was sarcastic.

That's when I decided to stick up for myself and stopped her before she closed the door again and said, “Did you know your walls aren’t sound proof? I heard every word you said about me while I was back there and just so you know, I tried to make an appointment before I came here. The captcha is down on your website; you know, the little thing you have to click online to prove you’re not a robot? It wasn't working so I couldn't click it to submit my appointment request but it said online and on your door that walk-ins are welcome. I saw you had empty appointments from 11-12. I didn't know if anyone else would be here since the site was down but that's why I chose to come now because I didn't think you would be busy because of Covid and all but I did try to make an appointment. Her facial dropped.

She then started kissing up to me saying “Oh sweetie, you are totally fine, that's what we're here for, come anytime you need to, she walked over to the double doors and opened the first one saying “Let me get that door for you sweetie.” pointed to the floor and said “Do you see that spot right there with no carpet? There used to be a big lip in the door right here and I personally had it removed just for people like you who are in wheelchairs so your wheels won't get stuck on it. Would you like me to get the other door for you?” I said “No, that's okay, It’s not that heavy, I’ve got it” she then said “No, no, no, I insist. I’ll hold it open for you, I’m here to serve you. She then followed me outside where my dad was parked which was awkward and said “would you like me to help you into your car?”

These are the more major examples but I’ve had more minor interactions too such as trying to buy vinyl for my Cricut maker from a black small business owner to be told “Sorry, I only buy from and sell to black people” I had a dental appointment and Medicare and Medicaid is a death sentence for those with rare diseases with only two dentists that took my insurance within a 30 mile radius. I settled for Refresh Dental in Hebron, Ohio which was quite a drive but none that took my insurance were close so I made an appointment. When I called I asked if they were ADA accessible because I’m a wheelchair user and the receptionist said yes. I then asked about Covid and the precautions they take because I’m immunocompromised. She said they are very careful, told me they wear full PPE, mask, face shield, smocks, they have updated their HVAC system and are really clean. She said none of their staff had contracted Covid so I made an appointment.

When we got there we parked at a building that looked like it was about to fall in. Termites had eaten all the way through the window ledge, and you could see the studs behind it. When I went up to the door I was relieved to see a sign saying to go to the white building behind that one, surrounded by a bunch of orange stickers which looked like condemned stickers. Their driveway was gravel and anyone who is in a chair knows, a gravel driveway isn't easy to roll on at all so though it was cold outside I was getting myself into a sweat going back to the building behind it. The first thing I saw was a staircase with about 9 steps up into the building and I was thinking uh oh. I hope they have another door. I went around the building and found another door and this one had two steps into it. It was a door with a step into it, you walked about 5 steps and stepped up another step into a second door. I called the office and no one answered.

I then called my mom who was in the car by the first building and asked her to come over there. She saw the steps and said “You’ve got to be kidding me” and went into the building to talk to them and then came back out and told me what they said. She asked the receptionist if they had a ramp or another way into the building for people in a wheelchair. The receptionist pointed to the door that my mom just came in and said “That's the door our disabled patients use” My mom told her I’m in a wheelchair and called ahead of time and was told they are ADA accessible and the receptionist said “We are ADA accessible.” My mom followed up saying “Then how can someone in a wheelchair get in here? The receptionist said “Can't she just walk in here?” My mom said “No, she’s paralyzed” The receptionist then said “Well we have other patients in wheelchairs and they just leave their wheelchair outside and walk in here. It's only two steps.” My mom then said “So, we just drove 40 minutes here and you’re not ADA accessible?” The receptionist said “Yes, we are” my mom said “but you don't have a ramp?” She said “When your daughter called she asked if we are ADA accessible. We’re ADA accessible, not wheelchair accessible.” My mom said “First of all wheelchair accessibility is part of being ADA Accessible, you don't have wheelchair access you are not ADA Accessible and second of all, she told you she was a wheelchair user so I don't know what else you could have thought she meant by ADA accessible. The receptionist said she had to go speak to another staff member. She then told my mom to have me go back up to the front building and they would bring supplies from this building and meet me over there to see me.

We went back to the first building and I had been sitting out in the cold all this time. We sat outside the building for 20 minutes waiting for someone to come unlock it. I then called their office and this time someone answered and I said “I’m really sorry for bothering you but will it be a while before anyone gets over here? The reason I’m asking is because I have Autonomic Dysfunction so cant maintain my body heat well and was wondering if it was okay if we go back out and sit in the car until someone is ready for us” She said “stay there, she should be there right now” I said okay and waited, finally about 5 minutes later someone came to the door and opened it. The concrete wheelchair ramp was so old that it had sunk about two inches into the ground so I still had to pop a wheelie and push on my wheels while my mom pushed the back of my chair to get up into the door.

When we got in there it was filthy, every surface was covered in dust, dirt, wood chips and dead bugs. It smelled like the moldy basement of my sisters 1890 house. It was so dirty that I put my service dog in my lab because I didn’t want her to sit on the floor. I could see a trail from my wheels and my mom's footprints in the coat of dirt on the floor. The receptionist brought out paperwork for me to fill out and while I did she and the hygienist were flipping breakers to turn on electricity to one of the rooms and were bringing over a laptop, air purifier and some dental tools. I could see them in the room. The hygienist took a dry paper towel and brushed the dirt off of the chair and edge of the countertop onto the floor, not using any chemicals or even moisture to clean anything. The dirt started floating around in the air which was when they brought in the air purifier to suck some of it up. She sat the dental tools straight onto the counter she had simply brushed the dirt and dead bugs off of. I watched them do all of this while I filled out my paperwork and sat in my chair waiting for my appointment. They eventually called me back, now well over an hour after my appointment time. I gave my service dog to my mom because they had to do x rays and went back.

I got in the dirty chair and the hygienist only had a mask on and nothing else. She wheeled in an old x ray machine that looked like it was jimmy rigged to a sawed off IV pole. She put the bite wings in my mouth and tried to take the image and nothing happened. She yelled at the receptionist to hit another breaker and took the first image of the tooth that was bothering me. She then pulled the bite wings out of my mouth and that's when I noticed that they were reusable bite wings and having a lot of medical knowledge I knew those cannot go into an autoclave and was horrified when I saw that they didn’t have the clear sanitary cover bags on them to prevent the spread of disease but at this point I had already had them in my mouth and the damage was done. Having no clue if I had just essentially French kissed a Covid patient while being immunocompromised myself and having a condition that so far no one with it who has contracted Covid has survived it was too late so I didn't say anything. She put it back in my mouth for another image. Once she was done she grabbed a camera made for taking pictures of the inside of the mouth. It also had no sanitary covering on it and she took pictures of my teeth and said we have to wait for the dentist to come over.

I looked around the room while waiting and it was totally empty except for the chair I was sitting in. There were no pictures on the wall, no curtains, no TV, no pedestal where the little sink you can spit in usually is and where the cleaning tools and suction hook up, no chest of drawers with toothpaste or other supplies. They didn't even have any light in the room, just a light fixture with wires hanging out of it. Just a very thick coat of dirt, dust and dead bugs everywhere and a window letting light in. When I looked at the window I noticed there was light coming in around the window where termites had eaten holes all the way through the wall around the window casing. There were brown streaks running down the wall where water had come in the holes which I was assuming explained the moldy smell because if there was water getting all the way inside through the swiss cheese termite walls then there is probably a ton of water and mold behind the walls. I I continued scanning the room while talking to the hygienist about my dry mouth and she told me she was going to give me some jell to trial for dry mouth. Soon after, the dentist came in and was very cold. He said nothing to me at all but said to the hygienist “Cavity on 15 and 16” and left totally ignoring me when I said hi. The hygienist told me to go to the front where the receptionist was to schedule a filling and a second appointment for a comprehensive dental since they refused to do them the same day or do the imaging of my whole mouth when doing the images of the one tooth.

the receptionist had brought over a laptop of her own and tried to schedule my filling for two days after I got the second Covid vaccine and I told her I didn't think that would work because I would get the vaccine less than 48 hours prior to the appointment and I didn't know if it would make me sick or how long your sick for when you get it but I know my nurse didn't feel well for about a week after hers. The receptionists said “You’ll be fine” and scheduled it anyhow making sure to tell me about their cancellation policy and fine which she should know with the vaccine I wouldn't know how it effected me until the cancellation policy had passed. She then went on to tell me that she cant get it because she has a heart problem. I told her I couldn't either at first either but not because of my heart problems but because I'm a high anaphylaxis risk but my doctor came up with a concoction of meds that we can take starting two days before the vaccine, the day of and three days after that has shown to prevent full blown anaphylactic shock in most of us. She said we would have some kind of allergic reaction and still can go into anaphylactic shock but it will reduce the chances so hopefully the allergic reaction is tolerable and we won't need to go to the hospital. So I went that route and got the vaccine at a place close to the hospital. I then said, It's too bad that more healthy people don't consider people who literally can't get a vaccine or are immunocompromised and won't get the full benefit, or any benefit at all from the vaccine before they refuse to get it. She said Actually, I can get it, I just dont think I should get it. My dad got it and my sister and I tried to tell him not to get it but he didn't listen to us and got it anyway but I guess when you're old or sick like you guys are and are going to die sooner than later anyhow you don't really have much to lose.”

I felt like she was throwing me in the grave. She then said “you know that they chop up aborted babies and put them into the vaccine right? I said “Nahh.. that's just a rumor that went viral on Facebook that was originally created by some college freshmen. There's no fetal tissue at all in the vaccine. Where the fetal tissue comes from was in the 70s and 80s two women voluntarily donated their aborted fetuses to science. No other fetuses have been used since then because they have replicated the cells over and over again. Think of cloning. They do this so they won’t need any more fetal cells. The replicated cells aren't used in the vaccine, they are used in the early states of testing potential vaccines before they even start conducting studies on animals and after the hypothesizing stage to see how human and living cells respond to benign injected with the possible vaccine to ensure it doesn't harm the cells and does what its supposed to, which not only saves money because the cells can be replicated over and over again but it also helps save animals because its a way to test the vaccine before moving on to testing on them. Of course a lot more can be found on living animals than just in cells so things can still go wrong in the animal phases but there is no aborted fetus at all in the vaccine, it's simply used as a cell to test the vaccine on.” She said Well I’m a nurse too, not just a receptionist so I would know.

I then thought this would be the perfect opportunity to change the subject and said “Oh, really, I am too. I graduated from Columbus State, where did you go to school?” She changed the subject back saying, I know a lot of nurses and none of them have gotten the vaccine. Only a few people here have gotten vaccinated and this place has been riddled with Covid. Almost all of the ladies have had it at least once and they all are okay now. How many people do you know who have gotten vaccinated? I said “When I called to make this appointment I asked about Covid because of being immunocompromised and the person I spoke to told me no one had gotten it. Why would they lie to me? She said “I don't know who you spoke with but that's not true. This place has been riddled with it” At this point I was letting what she said simmer a bit and sink in, honestly not happy at all that they had lied to me more than once at this point and about very important issues.

She then went back asking me how many nurses I knew who had gotten vaccinated. I said all of them and not even just people I graduated with my home health infusion nurse got hers but she ended up getting Covid too. Idk if you saw on the news about the senior husband and wife that got Covid and the nurse arranged for them to be put in a room together and they died within minutes of each other? Well the nurse who set that up, her name is Mariah and I went to high school with her. Just a fun fact I guess.” She said “Well did she get vaccinated? I said “yeah and right then the hygienist came back with the dry mouth gel so I cut the conversation off and said I needed to go because my mom was out in the car. I couldn’t believe they had a halfway decent office for their able bodied patient but put their patients in chairs into a filthy, condemned building that is moldy and about to fall in from termite damage. If that's not discrimination, I don't know what is. and to top things off, I put the dry mouth jell into my mouth and it tasted awful. I looked at the expiration date and they had just given me and it had expired over a year prior. I saw another dentist and also found out that I never had a cavity at all and my wisdom tooth was coming in.

I do not feel included when it comes to my extended family, friends, community or country. Most things labeled handicap accessible aren't including the Franklin County Social Security Office which slaps a handicap sign on their bathroom stall which the door is so narrow that my tiny wheelchair for my 112 lb. self rubbed the edges of the door trying to get into it, not meeting the 32” door clearance standards listed in the ADA laws nor did it meet the minimum 5’x5’ size limit in order to be ADA accessible so most people in chairs cant use it at all and even those with tiny wheelchairs like mine cannot get their char in far enough to close the door so are forced to use the bathroom with the door open, on their period while people walk past and see everything. It’s disgusting that we live in a society where people in wheelchairs, even if they can hold their bladders are forced to wear adult diapers or map out every public facility, only going to ones they know are accessible enough because here in the US we are so welcomed and marginalized that we don't even have access to about half of the businesses in the US let alone a bathroom that everyone else in the world who is not a wheelchair user takes for granted and when we are lucky enough to find a palace that has a toilet we can use, it's always the filthiest ones, the ones that able bodied people use as their private pooping palace believing that just because it’s two or three feet wider that extra three feet will make their fart inaudible.

This is a country where an able bodied person can buy a new car for $16,000 and a used one for sometimes less than 2 grand but if you’re disabled your new accessible vehicle costs around $75,000, a used… well many states you can’t insure a van that is more than 5 years old and cannot convert one more than 4 years old and it has to be less than $50,000 miles and fit a bunch of other criteria so used isn't much less. We live in a country where you are not allowed to pay an able bodied worker less than minimum wage yet SSDI comes out to $2.60 less than minimum wage and employers are allowed to pay disabled workers less than minimum wage. We live in a country where ADA laws were passed but police officers don't have to enforce any of these laws. Here in the US they have schools for girls only, boys only, black only, deaf and blind but no special schools for children with physical or developmental disabilities, just life skills training for adults so education is still not equal. A country where if the Black or Asian Americans are brutalized by the police or community members and it is broadcasted on the news even though more than 70 percent of police brutalities in fact occur to those who have physical, psychological or developmental disabilities but this is never mentioned even if the person fits into two minority groups.

This is a country where if you have a service animal that you rely on you still don’t have the freedom of religion because a church can legally turn away a service animal. A country where if you are a drug addict you can get 50 mg of low dose naltrexone free and go to suboxone clinics free of charge but if you are a chronic pain patient you have to pay over 300 for 2 mg of naltrexone to control your pain and stay off of opioids which are oftentimes the only things covered on Medicare but also the same medications being cracked down on not by people who need them for chronic pain but by addicts in turn putting limits on opioids so drug addicts can live and chronic pain patients who are in so much pain they have seizures and go into organ failure to live in agony and possibly even eventually die weather it be suicide because they cant stand the pain or from organ failure that results from the pain.

A country where doctors are taught “if you hear hoof prints on the ground think horses not zebras'' meaning when a patient presents with a symptom consider common conditions that can be associated with these symptoms not rare diseases allowing doctors to abuse and neglect patients and slap psychological diagnoses on them so they don't have to jump into the rare disease realm of medicine or even learn about it in school. This results in more than 250,000 deaths each year from medical neglect alone and that's not even the people like my mom who wake up on life support to find out days of their lives have passed and they are now living with permanent disability. A country where there are still states like ohio where you cannot sue for medical abuse and neglect unless someone died or comes out essentially a vegetable and if this results in disability where you are in a wheelchair or have limited cognitive impairment but can still speak and think to some degree, yet still resulting in permanent disability, it's just too bad, so sad for you because sure you went in for a simple gallbladder removal and came out needing the blood in your body replaced 4 times, going into exploratory surgery with a 5 percent chance of survival, split from your breast to your pelvic bone to have all of your organs removed, your liver repaired which fell apart multiple times in the process of trying to sew back together your liver the other doctor cut open and tried to hide for 9 hours while you bleed to death, sure you came out on life support after being deemed legally dead multiple times and had four brain aneurysms because of this trauma, which resulted in cognitive impairment, missed months of work only to get laid off, now deal with chronic pain, fatigue and weakness for the rest of your life and will never be able function like you once did ever again but you didn't die and you're not cognitively impaired enough so that's on you, the doctor on the other hand can keep operating on people as if nothing ever happened.

America is where people on Welfare, who are poor and in many cases don't want to work, make more money and get more financial benefits than someone on SSDI who is disabled and literally can't work. A country where people on Medicaid who are poor get better healthcare than the sick and elderly on Medicaid and if you qualify for both Medicare and Medicaid you might as well forget it because your insurance isn't much better than having no insurance at all regardless as to what special programs you fit into, where the Medicare formulary trumps the Medicaid formulary and if Medicaid for the poor covers a service but Medicare doesn’t, what Medicare says, goes and you simply don't get coverage for your needs. A country where a president cuts funding to the Orphan Drug Tax Credit, oftentimes the only funding that most rare diseases have to study possible treatments for these diseases while cutting taxes multi billion dollar industries have to pay in taxes such as his hotels and golf courses and every time they send out a relief check during Covid they make up for it by cutting funding to either schools or Medicare, particularly Medicare recipients with rare diseases, removing them from the formulary and allowing them to die to pay for these checks, hitting those with rare diseases because they are just that rare, meaning less people to complain so it's less likely there will be large riots for these people. This essentially reversed the act put in place ensuring those with preexisting conditions can get insurance leaving us so underinsured that many will likely die because they cannot get their medical care covered and can't afford it.

A place where those with disabilities are still not accepted, ADA is not yet being utilized in many areas or even seen as real or legitimate leaving us to be isolated from all aspects of our lives. We have very few rights, access, equality or inclusion more than 20 years after the signing of ADA into law. This leaves a lot of people like me to live lonely lives where we have no chance to succeed or in some cases such as those issues related to Medicare, not even a chance to live. By law an insurance company cannot deny you insurance based on pre-existing conditions however they can deny you coverage of the vital care you need once issuing you a card leaving insurance virtually useless with many rare diseases making survival of the fittest a terrifying reality. Welcome to America. The home of land of the free and home of the brave.