All Falls Down - Chapter 3
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With Josh away on the road, it gave Kiyana plenty of time to think. She knew she wanted to divorce and leave his ass but he was all she knew. He was her first everything. Her first boyfriend, her first kiss, her first and only sexual partner and now her first heartbreak 23 years later.
She had thought back on the past four months to see if there had been a change in Josh, but she couldn’t think of any. From what she could remember he was still the same caring and loving husband which gave her the ultimate ick. Because how could he act like he wasn’t doing her dirty while he was on the road? How could he act like everything was normal?
She knew that would always love Josh, but she would never forgive him and she would never trust him.
Josh felt alienated by his family. Since he stepped foot into the area that morning, he had been getting the silent treatment from everyone except Jon. Trinity had damn near slapped the taste out of his mouth the second she saw him. He knew it was coming though. Trinity and Kiyana were instant best friends ever since they met 14 years ago. He had figured Kiyana had told Trinity but he didn’t plan on his whole family knowing he cheated on his wife.
Kiyana told Trin who told Jon who then told Sefa who told Jeremiah and Jeremiah snitch ass called their mama who called Josh and cussed his ass clean out. Talisua was disappointed in her son. She had reminded Josh that infidelity was the reason why she and Solofa weren’t together anymore. He had also cheated on Talisua while he was on the road working.
Kiyana had been with him for 23 years so his family was her family… shit her family. He could only guess what her brothers had to say. Her brothers were never his biggest fan. They always thought that their sister could do better than Josh and they were 100 percent right.
Everyone was disappointed in Josh and didn’t try to hide how they felt.
“Still can’t believe you fumbled Kiyana Jackson.” Then there was Joe’s ass. He seemed to find this whole situation hilarious. “And I mean with Shanté?!” Joe laughed loudly. “I always knew you were the dumber twin but damn.” Josh grinded his teeth together as Joe kept going on and on. He stopped sparring with Sefa and glared over at Joe.
“This shit ain’t funny Joe. And I ain’t fumble shit. She is still my wife.”
“Yeah but for how long?” Joe snorted, stopping his lap around the outside of the ring and leaning against it, staring at Josh. Joe laughed again, seeing the look on Josh’s face.. “And with Shanté? Shit half of the roster slept with her.” Trinity , who was sitting on the ring steps talking with Mercedes, snapped her head over to look at Jon who held his hands up.
“Aye, can we stop talking about my personal life?” Josh rolled his eyes before turning back to Sefa. He groaned and let his head fall back when his eyes fell on Shanté who was sitting in the ringside seats watching him. She gave him a flirty wave before looking back down at her phone.
“If I can add my two cents..-”
“You can’t” Josh cut Mercedes off and she just rolled her eyes and continued.
“I mean ,I’ve met Kiyana a couple of times and y’all were like so in love. What made you cheat?” Josh inhaled a deep breath. At this moment he wished he never told Kiyana shit, cause now everyone was in his damn business.
“Cause he’s stupid.” Having enough of Joe, Josh picked up the nearest water bottle and hummed it towards Joe.
“Shut yo’ bitch ass up!” Josh rolled out of the ring and stormed up the ramp towards the backstage area. Joe dodged the water bottle easily still laughing as he walked over towards Shanté who was glaring at him.
“Aww you mad cause I made your boyfriend upset?” He mocked then snorted. “You know you ain’t gon be nothing but the mistress right? I mean Josh is stupid but he ain’t that stupid to not fight for his marriage.” Joe laughed again when Shanté stood for her seat and stormed off after Josh.
“Josh, wait up!” Fuck my life Josh thought as he put a little pep in his step to get away from Shanté. “Josh, I know you can hear me!” She yelled running as fast as she could in her heels. Josh sighed and stopped walking.
“What? Whatchu’ want?’
“Oh so it’s like that now?” She scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Don’t have an attitude with me. I aint do shit to you.”
“Look, I told you it was over. I don’t wanna see or talk to you anymore. Whatchu’ not getting?!”
“You can’t dictate when this is over. We were technically in a relationship and I didn’t agree for us to break up.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Josh frowned his face up at her.
“Shanté, it was just sex and you know it. We weren’t in no damn relationship.”
“It wasn’t just sex and you know it. If it was just sex, you wouldn’t have gotten so mad at me for going on that date with Theory.”
Josh sucked his teeth and walked away from her. “I hope she divorce’s yo cheating ass!” She yelled out after him. Rolling her eyes as he flipped her off.
Josh stormed outside and kicked the trashcan before letting out a frustrated scream. “Wasn’t her fucking boyfriend.” He grunted and kicked the trashcan again.
Sefa had followed Josh after he stormed off. Sefa had heard his conversation with Shanté and honestly Sefa wanted to pummel his older brother. He made his presence known by clearing his throat, causing Josh to jump and whip around to face him.
Josh let out a sigh and stared back at Sefa. Sefa had taken Josh’s infidelity harder than his other brothers. Sefa and Kiyana were close. Closer than he was with Josh. Josh didn’t know it, but Kiyana was Sefa’s first crush. While everyone else had treated him like a kid and damn near bullied him, Kiyana was always kind and didn’t mind if Sef had tagged along with the group of teenagers
“Say what you gotta say, Sef.” Josh grunted out.
“I’m pretty sure you know what I wanna say.” Sefa said, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Josh.
“So fuckin’ say it.” Sefa shrugged and walked closer to his brother.
“You're selfish. You had it all, the wife, the kids and you fucked it all up for what? A hoe that damn near everyone slept with?!” Sefa had tried to keep his voice down but he couldn’t. “You so damn stupid it’s fuckin crazy.”
Josh felt his anger rise as Sefa kept berating him. “I fucking know! Y’all acting like i’m not trying to get her to forgive me for fucking up. I know I fucked up Joseph. All y’all don’t gotta remind me every fucking minute.” Josh yelled before storming back inside the building.
Kiyana had gone to a local bar with her best friend Samara. Talisua had taken the boys again, giving her a free night that she desperately needed. “I say we hop on the next flight to Boston and whoop his big Samoan ass.” Kiyana chuckled as Samara, her best friend since Pre-K shouted over the loud music. When Kiyana had called her to tell her about what Josh did, Samara was on the first flight back to Pensacola. “No seriously. Twenty-three years you stood by his side and raised his kids while he traveled all over the world and this is the thanks you get?’ Samara was pissed and rightfully so.
They all grew up together, Samara, Kiyana, Josh, Jon and Joe. So she knew first hand what Kiyana went through with Josh and how much she thought they loved each other.
Kiyana shrugged and took a sip of her whisky sour. “And he expects me to just be okay with it. Like I'm supposed to just forgive him and move forward.” Samara snorted.
“Girl, fuck him. You gave up way too much for him and he doesn’t even realize how good of a woman you are. Like you turned down a whole full ride scholarship at Duke to go to West Alabama with his ass. And he didn’t even graduate!” Kiyana shrugged again and looked down at her lap, playing with the frayed strings of her jeans. “Did he tell you who she is?”
“No.” Kiyana huffed and rolled her eyes. “He won’t tell me her name. But she has to work with him right?”
“Oh, she definitely works for WWE, that's gotta be the reason why he won’t tell you her name. What other reason can it be?” Kiyana shrugged, as she was about to reply to her friend someone interrupted them.
“I’m sorry to interrupt.” He started smiling at both of the women. “But I had to come over her to tell you how beautiful you are.” He said, turning his attention to Kiyana, who blushed under the intensity of his stare. “I’m Malik” He held his hand out to her.
“Kiyana.” She shot a quick look over to Samara before placing her hand in his.
“Nice to meet you, Kiyana.” He smiled and brought her hand up to his face, placing a soft kiss on the back of it. “Can I take you out sometime?”
“Oh,” She blinked in surprise. “I’m sorry but I’m mar-” She jumped when Samara kicked her leg. “I mean, yeah. We can go out sometime.”
“Aight, cool.” He bit his lip as he gave her his phone. “Lock your number in and I'll text you.” She nodded and took it from him, adding herself as a contact and taking a quick selfie for the contact photo. He took his phone back and winked at her before walking off.
“Girllll….” Samara smirked. “Get. your. lick.back.”
whew, lot to unpack with this one. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ Lemme know what y'all think.
Will she get her lick back with Malik or will it be someone else?? 👀
this is Malik for those who are wondering.
🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL THAT CELEBRATE 🎄
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Wishing we were more than friends — sim jaeyun x fem!reader
Going home with friends you easily get along with are fun, what isn't fun is to linger feelings for one of them. Already in a course to move on from your silly feelings... you would never expect that very friend you're trying to move on from, starts to develop feelings for you back.
romance, angst, friends2lovers, Italicized parts means flashbacks warnings— Jake kinda gives reader mixed signals, tension but idk if this should still be a warning lol, pls tell me if i should add more! 6.9k wc + reblogs are greatly appreciated!
author's notes— Thank you to my lovelies @haerinz and @luvistqrzzz for proofreading I love u both sm!! I wouldn't hv made this fic better without y'all's help <3 this is kinda inspired by some events that happened to me irl! it was cute to reminisce these memories so I wrote them down here HAHAHAHAHA
perm tags— @jangwonie @jungwonize @luhvlyuna @w3bqrl @ineedaherosavemeenow @leaderwon
After school rolled by fast. The next thing you knew, you were walking home with Seeun, Tsuki, Sunghoon, and Jake.
You all lived in the same neighborhood, hence why you all have stuck together in order to get home safely, due to your hometown being a bit too far away to where you all go to school.
Adding to that, all of you are different people. Different tastes, different years, different cliques in school, yet all of you get along so well when united. Honestly, you absolutely cherish this bond and you never want this friendship with them to fade.
You have a good relationship with all of them, although you have one of a rocky road with Jake.
He was quiet, he never talks as much, and when he does, he only talks to Sunghoon.
You've had a conversation with him from time to time, it was rare due to the fact you had lingering feelings for the man, and that feeling caused you to be vulnerable whenever he's near, which affected your demeanor around him.
Only Seeun knew your admiration for Jake, and she never told a soul, thankfully.
This feeling of yours lasted for a while, until you promised to yourself (and to Seeun) that by the end of that very year, you'll be moving on from your romantic feelings for him.
And that's what exactly happened.
New years rolled around, and so was back to school sessions. Nowadays, you are able to talk to Jake normally unlike before. You were extremely proud of this development, considering you were head over heels for him nonstop for the past 4 months… You saw sides of Jake you wished you saw sooner. He was a funny guy, typically quiet at best, though when he speaks, he'll tell the craziest stories that'll get you hooked.
Even with the improvements on your friendship with Jake and the feeling of butterflies never seems to be present anymore.
Jake eventually found out about your past feelings for him though.
During a silly game of truth or dare.
"Alright! Who's next!" Sunghoon sneered, holding the bottle on the ground as he spun the bottle.
Everyone decided to come by to your house to cook and watch movies, though after the watch, they all decided to stay and have more fun. Thus, right at this moment, you all were playing the very harmless truth or dare game.
Everyone formed a circle, some of them hastily drumming on their thighs as they intensely waited for the bottle to land on someone.
As the bottle slows down, they all teased Sunghoon, who was beside you, and had the bottle almost landing on him. The intensity of the bottle moving at a snail's pace infuriates Sunghoon, cussing their teases off. Until he lets out a triumphant yell as the Bottle stops to you.
"Please thank you! Thank you bottle." Sunghoon teared up, as if he just won an academy award.
"So Y/N," Seeun started, and your heartbeat quickened, already expecting the question that would be asked.
It's Seeun, she knows your darkest secrets, you were so sure she'll step on the opportunity to ask about… Jake.
Seeun paused, her eyes widened to your direction.
"Just to make sure, is it okay if I get personal?" Seeun asked calmly, and you knew that she was definitely, totally, going to ask about what you expect her to ask about.
"Of course, I'll answer anything honestly, I swear." You retorted, giving Seeun a warm smile as everyone in the circle started breathing out deep 'ooh's as if you had just said something vile.
"Did you like anyone in our circle, and if you did, Who was it?" Seeun cheekily smiled
Truthfully, you were indeed confident in answering any questions even if it's personal. Maybe this might also be the time to finally confess your faded feelings to Jake, since you seemed to notice now that you were way too obvious back then, therefore Jake's reaction might not be so surprised by the time you mention his name in your answer, moreso, it would be a neutral reaction as if he expected it in the first place.
You ponder for a moment, looking at your friends in the circle intently, though your eyes stay at Jake for a few seconds, then back to Seeun.
"Yeah, I did like someone," The tone of your voice was assured, which made some of them let out another segment of 'ooh's and 'oh's, and some of them just widening their eyes, including Jake.
You sigh idly, "It was Jake…"
That name alone caused everyone to freak out, all the eyes and attention transferring to the man across you.
You didn't want them to take the wrong Idea, especially Jake, so you stood up in order to plead your case.
"To be clear, I USED to like you okay! I don't like you anymore." You reconfirm, Jake only nodded with a wide smile, and that was enough for you to calm yourself down as everyone else were still freaking out.
Jake shared his thoughts and reaction to your confession, and rest assured to you that he didn't feel the same for you ever, and that was enough for you to hear since this had encouraged your romantic feelings for him to dissolve completely, seeing him more in a platonic light.
After that silly confession of truth you had answered, said again, your friendship with Jake grew. Finally teasing and joking with him without having your heart flipping out by the mere sight of him, and of course, telling him stories.
You were content with that type of bond, and you were glad you were as equally close to all of them now, especially Jake.
That is…
until you two weren't.
Again.
5 months have passed since that truth or dare game, the normal still continued. You all usually go home together after school and when hungry the five of you always go to the mall and eat there instead.
Though during those days, you began developing a crush on a new guy, just a cute barista you knew at a local café. Joking about having slight interest in him to your friends was funny and tolerable, until it became a normal delusion for you to see him in that kind of light.
Those were also the days Jake started being distant to you, as if the old days relieved itself once again.
You had no idea why, but since you were too preoccupied with your new crush, you didn't think much of it.
A month later has passed, you completely had gotten over that barista crush you had, and now you were already studying for your final exams, though your mind was clouded with Jake.
You curse at your conscience. Scolding yourself saying that you're already over him way too long ago, and that you were so sure that his feelings never involved ever liking you back ever, even once.
So why…
Why did that night happen?
"Wow, Y/N," Jake speaks out softly, his eyes sparkling at the sight of your prom attire.
"Is it bad? I didn't have time to do my hair so I just went with this really lazy Elsa hairdo—"
"You're beautiful." He grins from ear to ear, in which you subconsciously mirror his expression. The silence was too loud for the air between the both of you. You were unable to move, as well as your eyes that didn't seem to look elsewhere other than his eyes.
He looked dashing with his tux, and you couldn't get yourself to tell it to him.
You didn't need to, Jake already knew just by the looks of you staring at him, there was no need for him to even ask.
He took a step forward and reluctantly, yet gently offered you his hand.
"May I have this dance… With you?"
You took a few seconds to answer, darting your gazes to his visage and down to his idly shaking hand in front of you.
You took a deep breath, placing your hand on his, and that was enough for Jake to know that you wanted it. You wanted to dance with him.
You walk with him to the dance floor, your eyes never leaving his figure, even when you two have already started to dance.
The way his hands were placed on your waist left you with a burning mark on your cheeks, most likely your whole body. Everything in your body felt like numbing out just by the bare of his hands. Your hands nervously snakes up to the back of his neck, and the stars in your eyes only showed up when the man was in view.
There was only silence between you, and it's not the silence you fear anymore. It was more of a silence you two were fond of. The sole fact that you two have never been this close before, and this dance being the very first time you get to feel Jake up close as this, made you feel warm and comfortable. The same thing goes for Jake.
He couldn't take his eyes off of you, he never wanted to anyway. All he could see is you and only you, and that's what made the atmosphere in your little couple bubble perfectly complacent.
"So…" Jake whispered, breaking the silence between you and him. Feet continues to dance through the rhythm
"So…?" You repeated, raising a brow confusingly.
"About the barista… Are you perhaps… over him?"
You chuckled, at the man's words. It was out of nowhere for him to ask about your past crush. You never considered this question and it didn't seem like he's curious about your feelings either… it's that this was the first ever conversation you're having with him after a few weeks of not talking.
You two still proceed to hangout due to being in the same friend group. Although, conversations were never present between you and Jake.
So him having these as his first words to you left you stunned, however you are not about to show him that. Given that you already stated that you have moved on from him… right?
"I'm very much over him. Why do you ask?" You tilt your head slightly due to curiosity.
"Good." He flashed a grin, staying silent after, realizing that he completely ignored your question.
You didn't want to keep asking and get him mildly annoyed, so you only stayed quiet.
Just how Jake wanted it.
The two of you continued to dance, it has been a few minutes and your feet still followed the rhythm of the song. You didn't seem to want to let go of him just yet, and so did he.
Jake was intoxicated by the smell of your perfume, inhaling then following that sweet aroma coming from your neck, as if he was attracted to it, leading him to lean his head on your shoulder.
Jake's eyes were closed, feeling the moment, as he squeezed your waist tighter, causing your body to feel against his.
You seem to lose control over your body. You felt like plopping down like a blob any minute. Despite that feeling, all it could do was just follow the steps to the rhythm of Jake's feet. Your eyes only stayed widened the whole time, feeling the warmth of his skin touching your bare shoulder was something you couldn't bear. You wanted to break down right at the moment, your heart was palpitating for the reason of your position right now.
"I'm glad." Were the very words Jake had said before his lip placed a peck at the side of your neck, letting out a faint gasp as that contact alone completely freezes your entire body. Jake stands back after, his eyes centered to his hand that was tenderly sliding down your arm and onto your hand.
"Let's go?"
You look at him and nod slowly as he holds your hand. following Jake out of the dance floor, guiding you back to your table and leaving you once he had finally taken you to your seat.
Then he never came back for you for the rest of the event.
You felt breathless, you were in a complete daze while reminiscing that thought. Leaving you frustrated for the reason of losing focus of your current studies.
"How else can I focus if all I could think about is Jake, Jake, and Jake?! " You groaned. Ranting endlessly to yourself, slumping your body on the soft mattress of your bed, completely surrendering your studies and promising yourself to continue tomorrow instead, by the time you get home.
You were babbling to the air for a good minute until your phone started to ring. Immediately picking it up to see Seeun's name calling.
"Hey? What's up?" You started.
"Sorry to keep this phone call short Y/N, but I'll text you more of the deets after. I'm not gonna go to school tomorrow because of an emergency and I was wondering if I could give you all my homework requirements tomorrow before you go to school? Just give it to Sheon please… Sorry for the bother I really am." Seeun stated, sounding petrified.
You quickly obliged to her simple favor thinking her situation must be grave since Seeun wasn't the one to skip classes whenever she pleases, so after the phone call, Seeun texted you once more of the details of her situation and why she couldn't come to school the next day.
School period ended early due to the heavy pour of the weather. Although even with the beneficial period cutoff, you didn't bring an umbrella. Only hoping that one of your friends has a spare, or could share with you.
You waited under a tree beside the gate of your school. now you're only waiting for the rest of the gang to come by… Though only one came.
"Let's go." Jake opened the umbrella, tilting his head in a direction where you all normally headed.
"Huh? Aren't we gonna wait for the rest?" You asked confusingly, looking back to the school in case you'd spot either Tsuki or Hoon.
"Sunghoon went home early due to an emergency, Tsuki just didn't go to school, and Seeun texted me saying to pass her excuse letter to her adviser… They didn't tell you?" Jake's perplexed expression intimidated you, you only knew Seeun's case although not the rest, so you only shrugged as a response and not by words.
So you'll be walking home with Jake… only. Just the two of you, in one umbrella.
Jake notices you being empty umbrella-handed, and so he walks closer to have you jumping in it with him.
"Come on, let's just share." He offered, in which you immediately accepted. You know he was Jake, though you were desperate to at least be kilometers far from school
A few walks far away from school, the two of you haven't said a word to each other. The awkward air you felt suffocated the most is present, and your muddled thoughts and memories, especially the time with him at the prom, didn't help you regain the confidence to break such an air… Though you had the gut feeling you had to at least talk to him, now that you're this close once again, reminding you of the distance you two had during the prom.
You winced at that memory, causing the other to look at you discerned.
"Is everything okay?" He asked timidly, stopping his tracks as his eyes focused on your disgusted expression.
"I-I'm fine, I just… remembered something super embarrassing." You reasoned, not wanting to tell him what really overcame in your head.
Jake slid it off and continued walking, it was another long series of silence between you and Jake once again.
You swore 2 months ago you were just nudging his arms because of his jokes… Why would you both feel this awkward and have your friendship with him regress after it was doing so well.
The next thing you knew, you two were already in your neighborhood, a few more walks until Jake reached his home, and then yours.
You thought to yourself that Jake would go home then pass you the umbrella instead, however to your surprise, Jake walked past the gate of his home which left you with questions.
"Are you walking me home?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh, nothing. I just thought you were gonna stop by your house and give me your umbrella instead, since my home is still a few more walks from yours."
"It's raining hard, you shouldn't be out here on your own—"
As he was about to end his sentence, a loud thunder struck and white lightning flashed the sky, causing you to shriek, holding the umbrella to cover you well from the pouring rain.
"Oh my god.." You muttered, Tightening the grip of the umbrella handle that Jake was also holding.
"Oh god— I'm sorry, let's get home fast please." You yell out in fear, your heart rapidly beating as if another flash of lightning and shriek of thunder was about to come by in a few seconds. Your fearful grip on the umbrella still stayed, as you started walking at a fast pace that Jake immediately catched up on, which goes on until you both have reached your home.
You both stood at the front of your porch for a short minute, you had no idea why Jake stopped his tracks, you only stopped for the reason that he stopped first.
and so without having much patience, you recklessly hopped on to the porch, partially getting yourself wet, even if your hand was still at the contact of Jake's umbrella handle. Before you moved completely to avoid getting more drenched from the rain, you felt another hand gently placed on top of yours.
Yet again— another series of silence as you two stare at each other's eyes. Jake slowly makes his steps onto your porch. The contact on the umbrella didn't seem to break, as the two of you transferred your gazes to where your hands were placed. You didn't want to let go, yet deep down, you were scared, your head was spinning to nowhere as his hand never let go of yours.
You began to conflict with yourself, your eyes slowly transitioning to a horrified state. A feeling you don't understand— a feeling so puzzling you don't even dare to question, having this whole ordeal with Jake is as just as confusing as your current, incoming, outburst.
"What… is wrong with you?" You let out, eyes welled up, and Jake only stared at your rapid change in demeanor. Your hand intensely retracts the hold on the umbrella as Jake's fingers automatically close the umbrella.
"Y-You're completely all over the place?" Your breath hitched, then facing behind from his view, your hands shrieked due to the heat building up your anger, than more so being it from the cold temperature of the rainy weather.
"I don't know… back then you were so fun to be with but now you have become so distant. I have no idea on how— or what happened that made you like that. I don't know if I did anything wrong or that made you feel uncomfortable in a way because If I did something— anything… I'm so sorry." You ranted, catching your breath as your eyes blazed onto the other, who remained quiet, drooping his eyes down to the wooden floor, unable to respond back.
"But… That one night, that one prom night…" You paused. Jake's head rises as he hears those very words from your tongue.
"You know damn well what I was talking about, do you?"
Jake's unresponsiveness didn't help calming down your systems. Instead, it made you more infuriated.
After a few seconds of silence, waiting for something, at least anything from the man, there was none.
You inhale the cold breeze from the continuous pouring rain just in front of you, as your hands subconsciously brush your hair messily in an infuriating manner. "I don't know what your intentions were that night. The way you asked me about that barista, Yeonjun? If I got over him… and that kiss— the way you kissed my neck? How?!— do you normally just do that to other girls…? 'Cause Jake I've been hanging out with you for the entirety of this school year and I've never seen you do anything like that,"
"Or maybe that truth or dare game? A lot changed after that game, after I confessed my old feelings for you. What did I do?— What happened to you? I assured you they were old feelings but a few months after that you started giving me signals, probably old me would've fan out to be honest... Were you just trying to relive my old feelings for you? Is it because you wanted my feelings to just stay attracted to you? Is that it? Because you are absolutely sick for that Sim Jaeyun… You don't know how vulnerable and conflicted I became when you started to change. I can't even grasp the situation or If I'm saying anything right because— I… don't understand you. One day you'll be quiet and wouldn't even say a single word to me, and then go I'm glad you moved on from mister barista and then leave me by the side and never come back? What was that? " Your voice echoed through the open porch. your words could easily be overlayed by the hard rain in the background yet they were loud enough for the man to comprehend. Every emphasis of the words and events you mention brings Jake back to his mind and recalls those memories that ever happened.
"I'm sorry." Finally a word from him, yet not something you had ever hoped for him to say.
Your comprehension of his response was him apologizing for doing any of the things you have just said. Cracking a part of your heart at the indirect confirmation of the man's intentions.
"I'm sorry..? You're sorry? Sorry?! "
"You're so fucking… fuck— selfish for that! You're nothing but a selfish freak who doesn't— who never thinks about others feelings. Only doing it for their own satisfaction and—"
"You don't know how vulnerable I am at the mere sight of you, Y/N."
You stopped mid sentence, stunned as your eyes darted to his standing figure. You take a few steps towards him, as if you wanted to hear his statement more clearly by the loud thundering climate.
It was at this moment that you realized that the following small thunders and big flashes of lightning didn't seem to startle you. All your focus only went to exposing your wholehearted antipathy to the other.
Jake's breath hitched the same as yours earlier on, it's like it was his turn to let out his jumbled feelings to you.
"There were no spare days where you didn't flood my thoughts. Day and night, Y/N, you were always present and I had no plan on stopping that infestation."
His dark eyes pierced through you, feeling the rush of the heavy wind kiss through your figure.
Despite his confession, you did not give the same treatment to how he was when you were on your outburst.
"Then why? Why would you do all that?"
"Because you told me, well— told us before that you stopped liking me by the time new years rolled around."
"You remembered the new years part?"
"Very much, yes,"
"Look, I didn't know my feelings would come to this. You were a fun friend, you were a great company, although I couldn't bear myself to be so near you after a few months."
"Why?" You whispered, eye furrowed at the confessions of the other.
"I always think that I might do something I'll regret." He takes a few steps backwards, the air between the both of you feeling as soothing as it was just suffocating and intense before.
"Like what?" You take a few steps forward, the same amount of steps Jake took.
"Y/N… stop" He took a few more steps backwards, rebuffing your ways on pushing him to answer your question.
You stepped closer and closer, and now too close to Jake, repeating the same question in an attempt to pressure him into bursting out his answer due to the stress and the annoyances of your nagging.
It was only a matter of time before Jake gave in, biting his lips in frustration as he felt his head heat up so close to combustion.
"goddammit Y/N." He aggressively grabs the collar of your blouse and proceeds to pull you 3 inches close to his face.
You swore you felt your heartbeat stop for a brief moment at the sudden contact of his nose onto yours. The way you felt his breath fanning over your lips, sensing the tense air he had been inhaling since he had stepped a foot on your porch.
It was only a matter of movement to have your lips connect yet Jake resisted the urge, releasing his grip from your blouse, causing you to limp backwards.
Your gaze at Jake with a baffled look, processing the thing that just happened.
It was hard to convince yourself that whatever that was, actually happened.
It was real, you felt it, everything.
There was silence. It felt like a wall being compressed and will mush the both of you into some sort of unrelenting concoction. Jake was too stunned about his own actions, turning around to storm off at the scene and probably forget that this ever happened.
As he took a few steps off the porch, you realized that you had enough with the distance, you felt so far away with Jake always running away all the time. Your mind was everywhere, especially the feeling of his face as similar as that again. You were desperate to know how he really felt for you, and you couldn't just let him walk away and watch again as his figure dissipated into the heavy pouring rain.
"Jake." You utter as you grip on his arm, spinning him around to face you as your hands snake up onto the back of his neck, tip toeing to reach the height of his lips, yet it was no reach. Even with what you had just done, you weren't about to kiss him anyway, you wanted to see how he'd react with your sudden motion.
It was only a matter of seconds until Jake attacked his lips on yours. It was an aggressive contact at first, sensing the desperation of his lips yet contrasting from his hands that carefully held your face as if it was glass.
You'd be lying if you said weren't desperate for it either, you had craved this type of contact ever since prom, it was only regretful to ever admit it personally. But now that you're fulfilling your most secret desire, most likely that this would be the time to embrace it.
God, you want him so bad.
Too bad.
The both of you lost the sense of surroundings, as you carelessly pushed him to the ramp of your porch as your lips were still intact. Leaving a quick gasp from Jake's end due to the startling feeling from the cold contact of his body.
The sudden hum coming from Jake's voice seized you to let go yet Jake didn't want your lips to part from his. Even with the force of his hands holding your face to him for much longer, he eventually gave in. Hands loosen the hold on your cheeks. You tensely took a few steps backwards as you started panting, your chest pumping in and out with Jake in unison, catching both of your remaining breaths and remaining comprehension from that predicament.
Your eyes pierced through Jake's gaze, your breathing is shaky, same goes for your hands… your body's frozen in place, all of these yet the reason does not ivolve the the cold temperature of the weather.
None of you exchanged any words. Instead, it was quiet, yet again, the area only filled with the small and loud droplets of the rain… It's merely raining anymore, as you only focus on him, hear him, and feel him.
Nothing makes sense at this moment. Honestly, you wanted to reach your senses to sense yet things just felt too out of the ordinary.
"Y/N, I'm sorry." Jake came through. Rushing for your comfort. Although you ran back with the presence of terror, opening your front door and slamming the door in front of him at the nick of time. You were speechless per say, you couldn't describe words, you couldn't speak out your thoughts. The sudden walk out suddenly sent Jake into a shock of panic.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry, please— I didn't mean to—"
He proceeds to passively knock on your door repeatedly. He whispered a curse to himself as to resent the contact you two had shared. Biting his lips in pure regret at the mere memory a few minutes ago.
"Y/N please." The knocks still kept coming through.
You only stood against the door, paralleled from the man on the other side. You had no idea what course of action you were going to take. You were furious about the distance he kept himself from earlier, and then suddenly it was all gone because of a kiss. Yet here you are, setting up walls to him.
You didn't want any more walls or distance to grow, you wanted him to be forward to you and he'll do so.
Now, it's your turn to talk, before regret suffices.
"Shit. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I really am—"
"Jake," Your voice muffled against the door, which Jake had heard, immediately backing away at the click of the doorknob.
You twist the knob and pull it to see a distressed Jake in front of you. His doleful eyes locked onto your figure, waiting for you to tell him something, anything.
"I'm not… mad at you." you muttered.
Jake stood quiet as his look at you stayed bewildered.
"I was just startled… I didn't know what to do— or what to say." You plead, your eyes are red as it remains glistened.
No words came out from Jake, possibly dumbfounded by your response.
"When did you realize you liked me, by the way?" You asked out of nowhere, attempting to tone down the tension in your system from earlier.
"When you started talking about that barista more… and it's 'like'… without the D." He admitted it extremely easily, causing you to subconsciously let out a short chuckle unexpectedly at his last words.
"What?" Jake's brows furrowed at your uncalled reaction, his smile perking up at the sight of you smiling at him.
"You just said that so straightforwardly, it… it kinda caught me off guard."
"There's no point in getting nervous around you again, kissing you was my last straw."
"Oh, so you finally loosened your walls? "
"Yeah, I guess you could say that."
The both of you shared the same laughter. Eyes showing genuine feelings of forgiveness. There was no need of words to let the both of you be reminded of anything, yet it still felt guilting.
"What if you become distant to me again?" you voiced your concern, the faint smile you had dropping almost at an instant at the thought of that question.
"I won't," The man only took deep breaths as he slowly took a few steps forward, stepping foot in your home. The tense air that compressed between yours and Jake made you shiver, it felt ticklish, although you concealed the feeling as you didn't want this distance to part with you.
"I like you, and even more than that,"
From his aggressive grip behind your head earlier to a much more gentle approach as he slowly wraps you in for a hug, chin laying softly on top of your head, and his hand transferring to the back of your hair, patting gently purely because he wanted you against him, he wanted to be the one to calm you down from his mistakes. His eyes in pure concern as if he had done so much unspeakable pain.
You, on the other hand, were extremely glad at his sudden action, feeling too content within his embrace. It was at this moment that you knew that you indeed love him too dearly, and you only hope for him to reciprocate these feelings similar to yours.
"And I'm grateful for myself to even say this so boldly to you, even if it meant breaking your heart."
It only startled you once more when the man had continued his words after a minute of pausing. The words coming out from lips breezed against your ear, making you hear the mumbled words almost clearly.
You sneered at his response, causing the man to change his expressions to mild uncertainty.
"Silly, you didn't break my heart… Well, kinda."
"I'll make up for it?" He offered, the warmth of his breath getting through to your scalp caused your body to briefly shiver at the feeling.
"How so?" You asked cheekily, transferring your gaze up to the toned down storm.
"Tomorrow, I'll pick you up?"
You stayed silent at his invitation, the other not having a quick peek of your reaction which led him to assume the worst due to your unresponsiveness.
"Or not… I'm sorry. Am I going too fast?"
With this realization, he parts his hand from your hair as he pushes himself from you unhurriedly.
Alternatively you quickly pull both of his arms back to your clingy embrace.
"No you're not. I just like being in this position with you right now," You muffled against his jacket, now having your warm breath fanning over the fabric of his cloth sent heat up to his cheeks, bringing his hand back to where it was before.
"Let's talk about dates another time… Let's focus about what everything is right now."
the clasp between one another was definitely at its high. It's something you don't seem to want to let go of, as if you're addicted. Now that you felt him like this more closer than before, you wanted this to go on eternally. Now that he's with you probably having the same exact feelings, you're not scared anymore. Not the distance, not the words, not his presence.
All of those became a comfort, and honestly, this was too good to be true.
As you drown yourself in your own dreamy thoughts, Jake's head transfers to the side of your head, tracing you out of a segment of your endless realizations, shivering you in the process due to the ticklish interval.
"How about you Y/N? Do you like me?" He questions.
You remembered daydreaming this moment every night during so many months back, that era of you hoping that someday it'll happen.
and every night you always reply and say the same words in the same scenario.
"I do, and more than just… like. I am insanely in love with you."
With just that, it had sent a critical hit on Jake's beating heart. He couldn't believe that you were still up to loving him again after all that he made her feel. Yet here you are, giving him a chance.
It still left a pinch of guilt within Jake for the reason of what he did to you that initiated your outburst of emotions from earlier. He was stunned to see that side of you and he wanted to never witness that side of you, ever.
It was at this moment that Jake would promise himself that he'd take care of you for the rest of his life, and that he wouldn't spare a single mistake of his to have you return to the feeling of heavy sorrow because of him again.
EXTRA:
"Where's Jake and Y/N?" Seeun asked worriedly. Standing beside the gate alongside Tsuki and Sunghoon as they watch crowds of students walk past the gate. Only waiting for their remaining friends to have their respective classes to be dismissed, yet it has been almost 30 minutes since they've been waiting and anxiety crawls up on their systems.
"I don't know? What if they didn't go to school today?" Tsuki responds, darting her eyes left to right inspecting as if both of you might be a part in the sea of students.
"If they didn't go to school, they would have told us." Seeun grumbled, tip-toeing as if she could spot you or the man anytime soon.
"Oh— Oh! Hey!—" Sunghoon halted one of the students who they knew to be your classmate. "Uhm, question, did Y/N go to school today?" Sunghoon asked, the student paused for a moment since the sudden question had startled him. "Y-Yeah, but she went out really early… Something about waiting for her boyfriend or something. Only from what I assume though."
"Boyfriend? " All said in unison as the two girls' darted their focus to your classmate. All three gave a concerned look as their brows remained furrowed at the abrupt revelation.
Sunghoon uttered a thanks as the student continued his path, still leaving all three of them in a state of shock.
"Y/N? and… boyfriend? " Tsuki recalled, still too stunned about what your classmate had said.
"What about Jake?— Oh hey! " Seeun's demeanor switches in an instant by the sight of Jake's classmate who he always walks out the school with before meeting up with them.
Seeun asked the same thing as Sunghoon, although now related to Jake.
"Oh, he's with that Y/N girl I'm sure, since I remember seeing the same girl who's waiting there to the one who hangs a lot with you guys here."
"Well… what are they doing in— Where?! " Seeun was at the brink of freaking out yet remained her decorum.
"She was waiting outside our classroom, probs waiting for Jake… That's all I know."
Seeun now uttered a thanks to him as Jake's classmate walked away.
There was a confusing silence between the air of the three friends for a few minutes. All dumbfounded by the fact about... anything, related to you and Jake.
The stray thinking lasted until Seeun spotted you and Jake talking and laughing at each other at a distance.
All of them locking their gazes to both of you with a menacing look. Which the you and Jake had caught on immediately, only locking their gazes back until the both of you stopped in front of them.
"Let me guess…" Sunghoon started, placing his fingers on his chin as if he was speculating (the obvious).
"Girlfriend, boyfriend. Boyfriend, girlfriend." He stated as he pointed to one of you respectively.
Your eyes grew wide, startled by their assumption. "Oh What?— No no no no! We're not..." You look at the man with red tinted cheeks beside you, signalling him to not feel hurt in your next words.
However, before you could continue, Jake's hand instantly pulled your shoulder closer beside him, letting out an nervous smile from you while Jake's smile stood calm and collected.
"We're not a thing!"
"Yes we are."
"Jake!"
"We'll end up being a thing anyway so might as well think in advance."
Tsuki, Seeun, and Sunghoon all widened their eyes as they held in their screams of surprise.
"Y/N!" Seeun welled up as she shakes your arm aggressively, creating fake crying noises.
"We were just gone yesterday and suddenly you two are in a relationship the next day?!" Tsuki exclaimed.
You and Jake only let out shy giggles at their reactions. It was funny to see them at this state yet you had to tell them what really happened sooner or later.
All of you proceeded to walk out of school as the three bickered about your relationship with each other. Seeun mostly, seeing the side of you which was so down for the so-called 'boyfriend'. All of their voices mixed badly inside your little friend group bubble as they all ask the same thing yet ask them so messily.
As this was happening, Jake's hand softly landed on yours as a secret invitation to hold his, which you immediately complied. Squeezing his hand in an attempt to tease him, letting out a small "ow." from the other.
"You better tell us everything, okay?" Seeun rambled. everyone simultaneously agreeing to Seeun's words and nagging you to tell them the whole story.
Well, they'll be in for a longggg walk.
© seungiepup. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.
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