#i wish i was more decisive when it came to this stuff but im not and im just worried about spending all this fucking money to apply

[josecariohca]

.

[kendev]

first post..

[swiftiewillwrite]

how you get the girl

jason todd x reader

fanart by @twalxx (found on pinterest)

pairing - jason todd x reader

warnings - smut! starts angsty, fluff and smut later :))

a/n - this is my first smut, but i had like all of my friends proof read so im super excited to share this with yall! songfic based on how you get the girl by taylor swift (and a bit of i wish you would)

Things had ended with Jason, but it hadn't had the desired effect.

It was just too painful when you were together, the not knowing. Not knowing if he was safe every night. Not knowing if you were safe. You were scared constantly, just never knowing. All you wanted was for him to be safe.

—

You realized you couldn't do it anymore when he went no contact for two days.

You had thought he was dead. You were pacing your townhouse nonstop, music following suit. Trying to drown out the silence and your thoughts. You plopped onto the couch, picturing every other time this had happened in your mind. The pain you felt every night, that worsened every time another hour went by. So you made your decision.

When he finally came home that night, ready to run into your arms, you closed them. and you fought. The front door opened and shut and all the built-up anger from two years of sleepless nights and not letting yourself be selfish flooded out of you.

“What the hell, Jason? Are you okay? I thought you were dead, you asshole!”

The tone in your voice shocked him, you could see it in his eyes. “What?”

Your tears were threatening to spill from your already red eyes, but you didn't let that stop you. You pressed the back of your hand to your cheek. “I'm sorry, it's just-, I can't do this! Every week, I have to grapple with the fact that you could be dead! And what if you were? You can't come back every time you die, you know that!”

“What- what do you want me to do? There are always going to be people getting hurt, you know that.”

“Exactly. And I will never come first. You’re just too fucking good a person, Jason. you never let yourself be selfish! I wanted you to put us first.” You look at him; “Just go.”

“Is this for real?” And now tears were welling up in his eyes. “This was all so fast.”

“This was the opposite of fast. I just tried not to see it. Because I love you so, so, much Jason, that's why I can't do this. Just- send one of your siblings to get your stuff tomorrow.”

He pauses. “Okay, Doll, if this is what you want, I will go.”

“Don't call me that, you're gonna make this too hard,” You hear yourself let out an embarrassing snort through your snot and tears.

“Then can I kiss you goodbye, instead?”

Already sobbing, you nod.

—

And now you can't get him out of your head. It's been six months, and he won’t get out. Every time you see lights through your window coming from the street, you think maybe. Maybe he came home to you.

And you just hope that when he's out every night, saving more damsels, he thinks about your home in the center of the city.

Every night you prayed that he would come back. And say that he wants you, no matter what. Even if it was you who broke his heart, because you also broke your own. You wished for it like it was the only thing that kept you going, because it was.

But you never really believed your wish would come true. You had already burnt that bridge. And in doing so, burned away your past. Your friendships with the Waynes, every late night spent tending wounds.

2 A.M. another late night, doing anything you could to get your mind off of him. Especially tonight. The twenty-seventh of April. For the past two years, on this day, Jason had been in your bed. You held him, and told him he was safe. Safe from what happened to him on this day, years before you were able to take care of him. Your bed was empty, and it killed you to know he was probably in his own, having the nightmares you worked so hard to keep him safe from.

2 A.M. A rough and fast knock against your front door cuts through the sound of the pouring rain, and you find yourself looking through the peephole of your townhouse. Eye level with you is Jason Todd, curly hair soaked. You could see his breath in the cold, and how little his unzipped leather jacket was doing to keep him warm. You pull the door open.

“Are you insane?”

“I know, I just- I need you. Sweetheart, I need you back. God, it's been a long six months. I know, I fucked you up, i fucked us up, and that is reason enough for you to slam the door in my face, but..” he trailed off and made eye contact with you; “I will make it up to you. I just need you tonight. You know what tonight is, I know that you didn't forget,” He was pleading, eyebrows furrowed and tears welling in his eyes. “I can't get through tonight without you,”

And before you can process it, you're leaning in and your lips are on his again, and it feels like home. They're soft against you and feel the same as they did the last time you touched six months ago, if just more desperate. He wraps his arms around your back, embracing you tightly. You pull away for a quick second just to say: “Come in, stay the night. I missed you too. We can talk this through in the morning.”

He enters the home that had missed him so much, and you close the door behind him as fast as you can. He dives back for your lips, like a man who had been lost in the desert finally getting water. It was passionate, and for a moment made you forget that you had waited for so long. It just felt like before, and for the meantime would put a band-aid over the months of pain. You kissed him through the hallway, pushing him back to your room, and somewhere along the way, he lost his jacket. When you got to the bedroom, you shoved him against the door, biting his lips and letting yourself absolutely lose control on his mouth. When you pulled away, you could see that it was swollen and redder than when you had started.

You slowly moved down his neck, starting with a hickey on his jaw in a spot that you knew was his favorite place. He breathed out your name, giving you motivation to move down and kiss his adams apple. “Jesus, doll,”

You spread out, leaving marks all over his neck. The closer you got to his collarbone, the more vocal he was, letting out a dozen sickly-sweet nicknames for you. You start to make another bruise on his neck, but he squeaks out a “stop,”

You pull back. “Is something wrong?” for a moment fear creeps into your mind, and you remember. You haven't seen him in months, what if this is too much? This is the anniversary of his death, for god's sake-

“Can we move to the bed?”

Oh.

“Yeah, if you're ready-” you cut yourself off when Jay removes his shirt as youre speaking, revealing a tapestry of scars. A breath catches in your throat. Shit, you had almost forgotten how good he looks shirtless. Almost. “Yeah, okay,” You follow suit, pulling your shirt over your head and fumbling at your bra hooks.

You both stumble down the hallway, when you sit on the bed, back against the headboard. Jason looks at you like you're his last meal, and sits in between your legs, hands already reaching for your breasts.

Almost immediately, his fingers are tugging at your nipples and his lips are suckling at them. you squeal each time he bites at your nipples and he's moving back and forth between each like he can't choose his favorite, and humming nicknames for you every time he stops to breathe. After a couple minutes of sweet bliss, you put your hand in his still damp curls and push him off of you.

“Jay, I think you need some attention too.” you put his hand on his chest and push him down so he's lying on his back. You struggled with yanking his jeans down his legs as they were still wet with rainwater, but you managed. He starts: -wait, I didn't even get to- When you get down his boxers, his erection springing free, and he gasps, cutting himself off at the sensation of the cold air hitting him.

You settle in between his legs, wrapping a hand around him. Your thumb finds his tip and spreads his precum over his length, lubricating it for your hand to move. This elicits a reaction from him. “Jesus sweetheart, you never stop,”

You're confused. “Stop what?” you ask, pressing a kiss to his tip. He grunts.

“Making my heart pound out o’ my fucking chest, Doll,” He puts a hand on your cheek. “Never - fuck - stop.” you tighten your grip on his cock halfway through this phrase.

This makes you smile profusely, and to mask the grin, you open your mouth and fill it with the familiar feeling of Jason's member. He nearly howls in response, a string of profanities falling out of his mouth.

You look up at him with eyes you know he loves, and you hollow out your cheeks to - just for a second - suck harder. After this, you run your tongue along his base and pull off of him with a pop.

“Wait no- why- why did you stop? Baby, why did you stop?” Jason starts to whine, a sound you would never forget in your life, and you giggle.

“Relax,” you smile as you move to sit on top of him. You pull your shorts off, taking the panties with them. “I just want to ride you,”

“You're ready? Doll, I didn't even touch you, are you sure it won't hurt- ohmygod!”

You had started to lower yourself onto Jason's cock as he spoke, enjoying the way he was extra vocal when he didn't expect it. You leaned down to kiss him, and it was softer this time. Sweeter, romantic. Loving, not just lustful. And you can feel it, the affection for you that he had never lost. You pull away, your breathing fast and heavy, to say:

“I still love you,”

“I love you too,”

And just like that, it feels normal again. No time has passed and you got through another year together, trying to make what had once been the worst night in his life liveable. You laugh as you continue to lower yourself onto him, but the sound is garbled through a moan.

“What?” he asks, voice gruff from the pleasure.

“Nothing, it just did hurt a little, you were right.” Your eyes are sparkling, and your smile is somehow more beautiful than he remembered.

Jason smiled at you from his place on the bed, starstruck by you, and reached his arm between your legs to rub at your clit. You let out a whine that made you feel pathetic, but Jay reached behind your back to hold your chest against him, letting your bodies line up in an embrace that you were unsure if he knew was reassuring, or was just doing it to be closer to you. Either way, you were glad for the contact, and the feeling of his arm pressed between yours and his chest.

Jason's grin glinted in the warm lighting of your bedroom. You're reminded of a chip in one of his front teeth that you find all too endearing before he speaks. “Can you move, baby?” He punctuates this with pressing a circle against your clit. He smiles wider when you arch your back, pressing your tits harder onto him. You take a moment to regain words, but respond after a moment.

“Yeah,” you responded breathily, returning his smile. You lift your hips up and slowly lower yourself back down. Jason groans loudly, something that resembles your name falling from his mouth. Something snaps inside of you at the noise you had missed so much, and the next time you pull up, you slam yourself down on him.

“Holy fucking shit! Sweetheart, don't you need to take it sl- oh my god, oh my god, you're so perfect,” you continue this pattern, speeding up when he rubs your clit in that perfect way he would never forget.

You continue, sick slapping sounds filling the room. The muscles in your thighs and lower back are sore, and you start to slow down, sitting up so you're no longer lying on him. “ ‘M sorry Jaybird, I just - haven't done this in a while.” You look at your lover apologetically, but he doesn't speak a word back. All Jason does is grab your waist, looking into your eyes for a nod before he takes control.

He pumps up into you, hips lifting off the mattress and pushing deeper into you. You let out a pleasured scream, putting your hands on Jason's pecs, rolling a nipple in between your fingers absentmindedly. His thrusting speeds up when you start doing this. “Jason- Jesus Christ, so good.”

“Yeah? I know baby, I know it feels good,” another of his moans interrupts his sentence, but he continues- “You make me feel good too. So good.”

Somehow his thrusts get more rushed, pushing deeper into you. You let out a pitiful scream when he presses against your cervix, pain mixing into pleasure at the feeling of him bruising you. Jason hears you, and you can feel his cock twitch inside of you. You can tell he's close. “Baby, I'm gonna- where do you want it?” He whines, and your walls tighten at the sight of his eyes pleading with yours.

“Inside.”

“Baby, are you sure-”

“Please, Jason. Pill,” You start to beg, even though he hadn't asked for you to. “I need it. Need you. Missed you so much. Please!”

During your last word, you feel him release into you. Jason's hips sputter as he lets out another slightly pained moan. He lets his cock sit inside you for a moment, before he pulls himself out, his still hard cock sitting against his stomach. “Baby, get off. Let me make you cum. Let me clean you off.”

You blush at his words, as if you haven't fucked him a million times, nodding as you move off and onto the mattress. Jason repositions so you can rest your head on a pillow, pulling another to rest under your ass and lift you up.

Once you've settled as quickly as possible, Jason puts his face right against your pussy, admiring the way his cum mixes with your juices, spilling out of you. He starts with licking a stripe up your slit, and the image of his cum on his own tongue will never leave your brain, and causes your walls to tighten before he even puts a finger inside. He swallows, and goes back to licking into your hole, one hand absentmindedly rolling your clit in between his fingers as the other one squeezes your thigh. He moves them down from your clit to press into your hole, mouth instead focusing on your clit.

“Fuck, Jason!” He looks up at you, puppy dog eyes somehow turning you on more than you already were. He holds eye contact with you as he presses a third finger into you, curving to press against your sweet spot. You tangle a hand into his damp curls, pressing him onto your cunt.

Your walls tighten around his fingers, and he puts all of his effort into sucking and lapping at your clit. He hums on the bud, sending vibrations through your core. When you approach the edge, he starts licking at it instead, flicking the muscle back and forth. He talks into your pussy, praises for you being drowned in the flesh.

He lifts his head up for a gasping breath, still moving his fingers inside of you and quickly muttering: “Cum for me,” before diving back in. You listened, one last touch of your clit sending you over the edge. As you cum, Jason laps up the liquid that had leaked out of you over the night, flattening his tongue against your skin as he collects the last he can without a towel.

You shudder as he sits up, leaning forward to press a kiss onto your stomach before getting up from the bed. A moment of panic comes over you before-

“Are your washcloths still in the same place?” He asks softly. You nod at him, feeling too fucked out to speak, and watch him leave your bedroom.

After 30 seconds, he returns with a damp washcloth, and settles back in between your legs to wipe off your legs, pressing kisses on your inner thighs. As he moves up to your overstimulated cunt, he reaches for your hand. When the cloth passes over your sensitive spots, you squeeze his hand. After a few minutes of tender silence, he returns to your side, head on the pillow next to you.

“Hey.” He smiles.

“Hi,” you giggle back. After a brief pause, you continue: “I'm sorry. I was inconsiderate. When we broke up. I know what you do is important, and people need you-”

You're cut off by a kiss. “No. I needed to communicate more. And either way, it doesn't matter.” You quirk an eyebrow at him, “This is a fresh start,” he takes a breath in. “But really, I love you so much.”

You giggle, which seems to confuse him. Through your laugh, you attempt to speak- “Would you say- most ardently?” He rolls his eyes at the reference to his favorite book, but still leans in to press a peck to your lips.

“I love you most ardently,” he smiles at you.

“Good.”

[sugarpasteltmnt]

Just finished reading the new chapter and OH MY GOD??? Ik I already wrote a comment on AO3 but I felt like I had to come yell at you over here too 😜

First of all: that was a phenomenal chapter. I could feel the tension and apprehension right alongside the family - and then Leo's uncontained joy at the end. Gotta say, you write emotions very well

Second: holy shell, where do I even start? That went in a COMPLETELY different direction than I was expecting (which is a GOOD THING). Ngl I was half expecting the destruction of the Key to kill Leo, or maybe just eradicate the Kraang parasite or smth. I was waiting for him to jump into the black hole with the Key, but then the little trinkets he had collected chapters (felt like ages lmao) ago held him down! I honestly cannot wait to see where he goes and what happens next, I'm HOOKED.

But to be fair I've been hooked since I first started, back when chapter 7 or 8 first came out, and I am so thrilled that we're nearing the end!!!

Now all we need is everybody to pass out from exhaustion 🤣

The way you've brought in stuff from other chapters and made them plot relevant is really impressive, it reads as though you had every detail planned out and I LOVE that! I hope I can write like that some day, you're really amazing

I have no doubt that, however you chose to end this story, it will be great. Neon Void is certainly going out with a bang! 🤣

Have a lovely day, lots of love and best wishes from me! 🩷

- 🍁

THANK YOU SO MUCH this was such a delight— i was super worried about the first half, as that was more of a spur of the moment decision rather than the second half which has always been planned lol. Im so so glad you liked it!!

And as for the Krang parasite…. I have a special plan for that ;3

[midorihiyori]

u said ur not a proshipper and stuff but isnt soushin a proship tho.... abuser x victim>???? and shin saw midori like the older brother he didnt have../??? /gen

Originally I wasn't going to respond to this, I thought it was funny so I giggled at it with my friends and I thought that would be it. But I realized this is a wonderful opportunity to write a really long post disproving these theories that this fandom insists are canon. I’ll start by debunking some common arguments. I put a lot of effort into this and am actually using proper grammar IM SERIOUS GUYS!!! This is really long by the way

“Shin saw Midori like an older brother”

I’ll get this argument out of the way first because it’s weak, it’s a common trope in media where relationships are described as familial to show the closeness of the relationship. Even so, Shin probably said that because he looks up to Midori and respects him. If you just want to see them as having a brotherly relationship, that’s fine, but this argument doesn’t stand for calling Soushin proship.

“Midori groomed Shin”

I honestly have no idea where this theory even came from. Some people say that Midori preyed on Shin and that he was much older, while it’s more likely they are both in the same age range. Shin is canonically 21-22 years old while Midori’s age isn’t stated, but since they were in highschool together it can be assumed he wasn’t all that much older than him. Not saying you can’t headcanon that they aren’t, but you shouldn’t push your headcanons as canon to insist Soushin is proship. Midori changed to Shin’s school so that he could get his signature but he also became his friend in order to make the Shin AI. He could have easily just been a highschooler himself. Midori is an Asu-Naro agent and from what we know about them they have used underaged people for labor (eg. Kai, Sei, Hinako). If the common theory that the silhouette in Kai’s mini episode being Midori’s mom is true, it’s probable that he grew up similarly to Kai and Sei, being made to do Asu-Naro’s bidding as children. It’s not like you need the credentials of an adult to give out contracts. You could also make the argument that Midori must be older because he worked as a nurse and school counselor while trying to get participant signatures, but one could argue Asu-Naro has the connections to get him in such a position without schooling or even have higher levels of schooling to get the education in a shorter timespan. But I’m getting off topic. Many people who say Midori groomed Shin say that he groomed him into believing he had to leave himself behind and that is why he took on Midori’s persona in the death game when it’s clearly not the case in canon. It was Midori who wanted Shin to be the best version of himself.

“And you… should become the person you want to be, so you can meet them proudly.”

This dialogue is part of Shin’s lost memory, where they are talking about Shin’s wish to meet his lost sibling. It’s one of the only shown scenes of Shin and Midori pre-canon, and he’s clearly being supportive and wanting Shin to be happy with himself.

Here ‘???’ is the shadow version of himself, he is having an inner conflict of interest. Commonly referred to as Shadsou, is the actual reason Shin took on Midori’s persona. What Shadsou is exactly is ambiguous but generally it’s the personification of Shin’s devil's advocate. People often assume that Shadsou is another consequence of Midori’s impact on Shin, as if he isn’t his own character who can make his own decisions. This fandom often waters down his character and infantilizes him like this.

“Midori is Shin’s abuser”

Again, another headcanon people insist is canon. The reality is that Midori and Shin’s relationship is ambiguous and it hasn’t been explored much in canon. Soushin can be explored in many different ways because of how vague their relationship is. Saying that Midori abused Shin is an unsubstantiated claim so it’s just a headcanon, not saying you can’t have that but again, you can’t be claiming it’s fact.

This is the one cg we have of Midori and Shin pregame btw:

This is the cg where Midori is encouraging Shin to be someone he’s proud of. Not very abusive guys.

“But it’s implied to be abusive”

This is usually the evidence they use for the implication:

“He’s… a scary friend of mine…” 

Midori’s mannerisms are scary. It isn’t just Shin who thinks that he is, he’s one of the main antagonists of the game. Shin finding Midori to be scary doesn’t mean he abused him.

“Though I learned a lot of things at his house…”

It’s insane to me that people use this as evidence but, this is clearly about Midori teaching him how to code. People claim that it has deeper meaning but really it comes down to how you want to interpret it.

There are multiple points where Midori is shown to feel affection in strange ways. It’s possible he didn’t understand ordinary forms of affection, similarly to Kai who was deprived of affection growing up as an agent. Midori’s odd mannerisms towards Shin could just be how he shows his love. awww. isnt that so sad

Many people call Midori Shin’s abuser and claim Soushin is proship without proper canonical proof. A lot of people who kin Shin project onto their relationship and insist that it’s abusive because their bias rooted from their own trauma and experiences clouds their perception of Shin. This happens along with people infantilizing Shin and excusing all of his actions by blaming the supposed ‘grooming’ or ‘abuse’ he experienced from Midori. This is just a common problem with mischaracterization of Shin and Midori by the fandom. It’s gotten to the point where people like this dear anon believe these things to be true!

Then there's the people who ARE proshippers and insist that Soushin is abusive or pedophilic because they want it to be and are looking at them with that lens of thinking. These people greatly help spread the idea that Soushin is a proship, making it much harder to discern canon from fanon when much of the Soushin content is by these people, specifically outspoken adult western fans that praise proship and advocate out for Soushin being problematic, that's what the general fandom now sees it as even though it’s just not canonically happening.

At the time of posting this, Shin’s minisode has yet to come out. I’m sure that once it does it will give a much clearer view of their relationship, maybe I’ll have more to say then! For now, that is all I’ve got for you tumblr.

[gtraccoon]

honestly feeling angsty at work so

a g/t trope: /unwanted/, but not really (and the names im using are just some of my favorite ocs :))

Vivina sat with her legs crossed, head leaned up against Otto’s neck. She loved them, and they loved her—she knew that for a fact—but there is a problem. There’s always a problem with her.

Otto is a human. Vivina was a borrower. She says was, because she doesn’t really borrow anymore—and that eats her alive. There’s nothing in the world she hated more than being useless, not being able to give back—yet Otto feeds her, helps her get around, houses her, all for free. For nothing.

It’s fair—at 4 inches tall, there’s not much you can do to help your human, and yet here she is, praying and hoping and wishing, doing everything she can.

Otto was ranting on about something, probably the Military again. They’d wanted to join since they were young, but they couldn’t: they never told Vivina why, either. It’s not like it mattered, that’s what they said.

“Otto?” Vivina asked suddenly, interrupting them in the middle of a rant about the Navy. “Oh, sorry—“

“No worries. What’s up?” They talk so softly, clicking onto a new tab on their computer.

“Er, so, uh, you want to join the Navy, right?”

«Да.» (yes)

“Why don’t you?” She sat up a little straighter, and they just hummed.

Otto paused, tilting their own head slightly. “Oh, I dunno. I wouldn’t want to leave you here by yourself,” they replied, clicking a few words into the search bar. Some Russian stuff.

“…Otto, am I holding you back?” They stopped again, pulling their hand back from the computer and lifting Vivina off of their shoulder, holding her in cupped hands infront of them.

“Vi, you know you don’t. It’s just a personal decision. I’d rather be here with you.”

“Are you sure? God, I just…” She trailed off, and they waited. Fuck. They always waited, patient, gentle, careful. “I just don’t want to be a liability.”

They furrowed their brows, avoiding eye contact for a moment. “You are far from a liability.”

“But I don’t help you. I’m not even noticeable.”

They frowned. “Vi…”

“I can’t do anything. I just… I don’t know, I sit here, and I watch what you do. Why do you even love me?” She felt her head ache, forcing back tears. “You could be so much more. You could do so much more; you’ll always be more than me.”

“Physically, yes,” they muttered, hoping for their partner to stop degrading herself. “And you are small. But that’s fine—you are my whole world, and that makes you way more important than just your body. I cannot express to you enough how perfect you are, everything about you.” They smiled weakly. “You do help me. You just don’t know it.”

“I love you, but how do I help you. At all?” She took light notice of their partner’s Russian accent, which was slipping through a bit. It tended to happen when they spoke quickly.

“When you came to me I was nothing, you know. I didn’t have family to go back to. I couldn’t enlist because I wasn’t old enough; I couldn’t go back to school because I didn’t have any money. I didn’t think I deserved a chance—“ They paused, momentarily, before tightening their hold ever so slightly on their girlfriend. “—but here you are.”

She couldn’t help but smile. She hated being proven wrong, but yet when it came from Otto it just… it was okay.

“Thanks.”

“If anything, I should be thanking you—you stay with me through everything.” Before she could reply, they continued, pressing their thumb softly against Vi’s side. “You are everything.”

—

there r prolly some fucking spelling mistakes but i’m a lonely queer guy like i just need to write some romance ok 😞

[destinyc1020]

Hi destiny, I just started reading your posts regularly and I have been loving them 💕 I'm sorry if you already talked about it but I was wondering

When Zendaya posted her story with the pearl ring last year, what did you think about the whole situation ?

To me personally, I saw the picture and thought nothing. Like pretty picture but that's it. And I was checking twitter at the time and no one was saying anything. Then Z deleted, cropped it, posted about focusing on the hat, then Noon.. then the story saying she can't post anything and that's not how she would drop the news. All of this, I thought it was a funny, like ridiculous, but still funny 😂 I dont know why she started to make a big deal out of it because I swear no one was posting about it, it was making any noise on Twitter or any platform.

BUT then Darnell went online and that's when I started to think they were doing too much. The funny story from Z was already a good way to address it, the live and more especially his tone, it made me raise my eyebrows a little bit. I know he would never do anything against Z's wishes so I'm not saying he's at fault, but Z herself and her decision making. She probably asked for him to go live, go on a monologue about it and idk if was the smartest way to deal with that because at the end of the day, he's a third party. He's not supposed to talk about it in that sense (but maybe that's just my personal view about relationships), but Z allowed him to, maybe even encouraged it. So it made me question their dynamic and how effective it is to send him do the "messy work" in a way. Also all of this was happening when Tom was asleep. Darnell sounded lowkey offended about the idea of an engagement. We can only have theories and right now they're doing more than fine, of course, but I wonder if Tom ever actually saw the video of the live and how he felt at the time. I'm not in his head but just from an outsider pov I would be like damn okay We're not engaged (assuming they're not, which we don't even know but still), but do we need to act like this is such a ridiculous idea🙃

To me (again, personal opinion)! the whole situation became too messy with this live and it's an example of needing a publicist before star thing to do shit on your own 😅

My theory is that someone in her family asked about it for some reasons, and instead of searching if rumors were actually going around massively (which was not the case) she panicked, thought something leaked, and (over)reacted immediately. I never saw her damage control being this incredibly over the top, and I've been there for years. I wonder if I'm the only one

and PSA: Im not saying that because I blame Darnell per say, it's not against him I really appreciate him from the little we know about him he's an incredible person and Z ride or die, I'm more specifically talking about her way of dealing with stuff like this. I would've said the same thing if it came from Tom's side. For example, for people who remember that era, when Tom asked Harry and Haz to DM fan pages to take down the vide of Nadia he accidentally posted in his story, I found it silly too. That's not their job. But at least it was done privately, not publicly

Hey, welcome to my blog! 😁👋🏾

Thnx for the sweet comments. 💕

Re: the Pearl Ring 💍 Gate lol 😆

Here's an article about it in case some people are lost lol....

Anyway... I'm like you, cuz when I first saw her IG story post, I wasn't even thinking about a ring or even thinking she was announcing an engagement lol 😂

I just merely thought she was showing off her outfit, that's all. 🤷🏾‍♀️ But yea, overzealous fans went gaga and started making all kinds of allegations. 🙄

While I'm glad she cleared things up and stopped the chatter, at the same time, it DID seem to me like she and Darnell were doing a bit too much rofl 🤣 Especially Darnell with his live talking about the topic lol 😆 Like, what are you all trying to hide lol? 🤭

Anyway, maybe you're right? She may have gotten a lot of text/msgs from family members or friends wondering if she was dropping some news, and she wanted to clear things up. Either that, or she just didn't want people thinking that she's engaged (when she's already secretly engaged and doesn't want the media to know 👀). Can you imagine trying to plan a wedding ceremony with the media on your back? That's a LOT of pressure. 🥴

Anyway....

I don't think it phased Tom any honestly lol 😆 Fans have to remember that Tom and Z are partners, so whatever they do or think, they talk about it. Couples usually talk about E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G... And I do mean EVERYTHING lol 😆 Even stuff that you wouldn't even think would be important rofl 🤣 Sometimes, my friend's boyfriend knows stuff that I've told her, and I'm like... 👀

So yea, they're fine. Tom knows how hard it is to navigate a rlshp in the public eye, and he's def on board with keeping his rlshp things sacred... as we saw in how he reacted to the Olivia pics, to the video about Nadia, to how he told the media that he felt that he and Zendaya's privacy was "violated" with those kiss pics in the car, to how he said he didn't want to speak on certain things w/out Zendaya, because this not just his story, it's THEIR story. 😊

So yea, he's fine with whatever needs to happen in order to keep their relationship sacred.

[bunniesbearsandadventures]

Heyyyyyy. So this is going to sound super weird and out of left field but I am going to be making some major changes to this blog. Like a complete reset of this blog.

I am not deleting the posts or anything but I am deciding to put all the hobbit related stuff and posts on a different blog under @hobbitadventuresimagines . I know this might come off as as weird decision so let me explain.

I have come to a realization that I do not have my own personal blog. Like I don't have anywhere to express my weird thoughts, or reblog other things, or like other stuff without it clashing or conflicting with what this blog is supposed to be. It started off as tame with a few reblogs of picrews and, other people posts but, I want to do more of that without completely disregarding what people came for in the first place. A blog with imagines. I can't post about other groups or stuff which is no body's fault its just something i realized.

I am still going to post imagines its just going to be on a different blog entirely. So that i can post random things here and you guys can get the imagines.

Sorry that i decided to do this decision now instead when i first started. I had no idea how to Tumblr so i wasn't sure how to approach all this but now I just want to have an enjoyable experience without fear of ruining it for others.

Sorry that this kinda became a rant and rambling. Im not upset or anything just wanted to finally address some of my absence. If you don't like the change or don't wish to follow this blog anymore due to this i completely understand! If your still interested in the imagines i highly recommend checking out the other blog because that is were all the imagines are going to from now on.

Also also I am a college student so if my lack of presence is concerning its also due to the fact that i am probably writing a rhetorical essay on the history of cheese or something.

Anyway thank for any understanding! I know this is all so sudden but again i just wanted to say this before this blog becomes bigger and then its too late.

:3 i hope everyone who reads this is having a wonderful day!

-thank you.

[rivangel]

Hey, it’s the RtS anon again✌️

I just. UGHH. What if Hange or someone else close to Levi/Erwin resented him for giving Armin the syringe? At first I didn’t get why the hell he did that and even hated his decision, i think many people did as well (and still do lol) i even hated him for a hot second because Erwin seemed like the most logical choice atm (panicked monkey brain)

we know he doesn’t regret it (final episode), BUT STILL.

WHAT THEN??? HOW WOULD HE DEAL WITH SOMEONE HE CARES ABT RESENTING HIS DECISION??? My poor pookies are doomed by the narrative fr💀

oh god i’ve written a whole 6k essay explaining levi’s choice and made countless posts about it serum bowl. i know u meant in the moment but i'll add the main post here cuz im proud of it :')

but LITERALLY i’ve made a post or two wondering about hange’s feelings towards levi bc of the choice too😭😭😭it's me analyzing levihan's relationship, but here's my answer:

in one of the official fanarts, it’s HIGHLY hinted at that levi and hange were headed to visit erwin’s grave together.

but i think it’s practically a given that hange doubted levi’s choice.

even before liberio, hange harbored tons of self-doubt, but they could still be optimistic. then when eren threw them into a war, their leadership came very much into question for them. also, they wanted to save commander erwin to the end: they even held mikasa back and gave her an entire speech about making impossible choices, and how one day you would have to prepare to say goodbye to everyone you’ve ever met.

but would hange and levi ever have argued about it?? definitely not. after erwin died, it’s canon that levi struggled to consume anything other than tea, and it became his ONE goal to fulfill “erwin’s last order”, which was actually a promise levi made to him - even if he could do nothing else.

im getting sidetracked by eruri the point is that hange knew how much levi struggled to make that choice and the utter hell of grief that ensued. they always supported him, and in turn, levi did the same. he definitely threw all his energy into helping hange recover from their eye injury and for them to take on their new responsibilities so he wouldn’t have to focus on his own turmoil at all, so he could be useful.

however something - rather someone - that's never considered is what nile would've thought. nile and erwin's friendship was complicated, but they knew each other since they were recruits, and nile knew erwin well enough to know (in s1 when annie appeared) that erwin had smth to do with a titan wreaking havoc in stohess.

(marie was probably the complication but anyway)

we're never told what nile thought about levi personally. given they don't know each other that well, i wonder if nile would've trusted erwin (and by extension levi), OR tried - even made a scene - out of getting a proper answer out of levi why he killed his friend for a child (to no avail, of course). there's a very real possibility to me that nile may have tried to get levi court martialed or something like that.

i really wish the anime explored stuff like this more...

[our-lesboy-experience]

I found your blog and thought the term lesboy might fit me because I'm genderfluid and I like women. I brought it up to my friends, just like "hey I heard about this thing, have you ever heard of it?" And most of them basically just laughed. I thought they would get it because they're all queer, but they were all really confused. I explained more that it could be for multigender people, transmasc lesbians, etc. and my friend (trans guy) said that trans men can't be lesbians. I said that if someone has a label that feels right to them, and they're not hurting anyone, then we shouldn't judge. Eventually my friends said that like whatever, people can call themselves lesboys if they want, but I'm pretty sure they still think it's weird and maybe not real. What do I do? I love these friends and I know they would never try to hurt me or anything, and I get why they're confused. Should I just not bring it up again?

Well, from personal experience, I have tried really hard to cover up my identity to stay friends with people who wouldn't accept me before. And it ended up making me more miserable than I even realized at the time. I was trying to hide this whole other part of myself, and ended up avoiding answering questions regarding orientation or ended up being confused for a gay dude. When I made new friends I hesitantly came out to, stepped out of my comfort zone to openly call myself a lesbian, I felt much happier being around people who would actually respect me and didn't treat me like shit for it

but your friends aren't those friends who I tried to hide myself from, so im gonna go ahead and assume the best and say they're probably not as hateful, as you said they'd never try to hurt you. and I guess it also depends on how much it means to you. If you feel genuinely hurt and distressed by it, then I'd try to bring it up again, but if they continue not to accept and make fun then I wouldn't say they're good friends. if they take back their comments and open their minds for you, actually listen and show respect, even if they're confused, then it's worth it

it's really your decision at the end of the day. if you feel like you can continue on without it being upsetting and continue being friends just fine, then whatever you choose. but personally it put a huge damper on my relationships and caused me anxiety and fear of abandonment (bpd did not help), so if it's like that for you then by all means address it. if you really want to have a conversation with them then I'd do more research on the identity just so you can have them on hand (this carrd has some historical stuff in it)

wish you the best and good luck!!!! ^^

[doiesfav]

: ̗̀➛ Music, Dance - Ten ||

''It hurts losing passion about something you loved''

Pairing: Artist! Ten x fem! Reader

Plot: Ten, who loves to dance and paint, had to choose one option for his future and his heart went for art so now he owns an art workshop. On the other hand, his passion for dancing slowly started to disappear until y/n appeared.

Genre: Fluff, romance, fiction, slice of life.

Contains: Cuss words, mention of sex

Wc 1k>

A/n: Thanks for supporting me guys, this is really wholesome TT (ngl these fics always become short even tho I planned them to be long)

MASTERLIST

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

(Third person pov)

6 years have passed since Ten chose an art degree over dancing, both were important for him but making that decision was probably one of the toughest moments for him.

After graduating he opened his own art workshop to make a living, it got popular after few weeks because of the activities you could do there. And of course he was more than satisfied knowing all his hard work paid off.

But there is still one more thing. What about dancing? Did he really spend all his life practising dancing just to do nothing about it? And like every normal person would, he lost his passion for dancing.

Ten had no time for it, he was busy with the shop, painting works, and most annoying, dealing with his girlfriend.

Jinna was her girlfriend, they met in university, but after graduating she didn’t pay any attention to Ten at all. Instead, partying outside and drinking was all she could do since her parents were rich, every time she got drunk she would call Ten to come and pick her up just for them to later have emotionless sex.

Ten really wanted her to change but he couldn’t say it straight up, he just kept it for himself and wishing for the non existent thing to happen. But there was something inside him telling him that loosing her would be very painful.

Today a special customer was coming, y/n, a known choreographer. When the time came Ten greeted her and made her sit in the chair, “So how does this work?” She smiled sincerely, “I’m not used to this stuff”, Ten could see the innocence and made her feel comfortable while explaining how it works.

“And you just do it like that, you can express yourself by the painting” After that Ten left when he recieved a message from Jinna.

hey babeee

im sorry if you are still angryyy

I told you i was drunk and it wasnt my intention to fuck him

I was really drunk babeee pls dont be angry

But Ten just ignored it and got back to work, his mind was very messy, and could not process how his girlfriend cheated on him. I mean he could have predicted it but he was still annoyed by the fact that Ten still didn't wanna break up with Jinna.

An hour later Ten got up and went to check on y/n who was almost finished with it. It was a painting of someone in a dance room dancing in front of the mirror, which made Ten feel overwhelmed and brought up some of his memories.

“It is really beautiful” Y/n looked back at Ten and gave him a warm smile. “thank you, I really appreciate it”. Those words made Ten a beat in his heart. ''I was very interested in dancing back then'' He laughed off.

''Really? Why don't you do it now?'' He felt kinda sad after y/n asked that, it was really noticeable. ''Oh, sorry I didn't mean to'' ''No, don't worry, I just grew up and find arts more enjoyable'' It was Ten's first time speaking about dancing after a really really long time. He couldn't remember when was the last time he talked about it.

They both spent their time talking about it, Ten felt like his heart was blooming and felt a strange feeling; as if his younger self was with him. ''Do you wanna come with me after your shift to dance?''

Ten saw it as an opportunity to relieve stress and make himself feel happy after a while. When he closed the shop he went to the dance studio y/n told him to go, it was his first time in such a professional room for dancing. The room was incredibly big, maybe twice the size of the dancing room he used to go to before.

His heart was beating rapidly because of the excitement. ''do you wanna go straight or slowly?'' She giggled while covering her mouth with her hand, ''Let's start slowly, I haven't done this in a very long time'' He laughed off.

''So do you have any favorite danceable song?'', while thinking it hit him that he's never got to think about music too. Suddenly Ten remembered his sister saying ''I love Music, Dance by NCT, you don't know? What a loser'' It was like a week ago, she's been into that boy group lately.

''Um, do you know Music, Dance by NCT?'' y/n seemed surprised, ''Yeaa of course, I did some choreographies for them, then we can start stretching'' Ten felt as his youth started taking over. Was dancing for him always that exciting? While also enjoying the music, moving his body freely was refreshing it was like how snakes shed their skin, except he was shedding his lost passion into something new.

After 2 hours of dancing, they both created a choreography for the chorus of the song, Ten was so proud of himself and deeply appreciate the hard work of y/n too. You two decided to go outside and breath some fresh air.

The aura between you and Ten was very cozy, ''want to do it again?'' Ten shook his head ''I mean I would do it any time you want'' he laughed off. That's when he saw Jinna and a guy holding hands, Ten rubbed his eyes with his hand to check if it really was her, he couldn't believe it.

Then you also catch the couple Ten was seeing, ''What the fuck is she doing'' You understood what was happening at the moment quickly, and he walked to stop her holding hands with the guy.

''Excuse who are you'' The guy who was with Jinna said, ''She's my fucking girlfriend?'' And the guy backed ''Jinna you told me you were single what the fuck'' Then he stormed off seeing annoyed, ''What do you think you are doing, we were over'' Ten looked confused as soon as she said that.

''I've never told you we were over'' She just removed Ten's hands and walked off screaming ''Now we are over dumbass''. He stood there and tears started to fall down his cheek, realizing you should do something you went there and hugged him.

Surprisingly he didn’t reject that hug, but he did cry loudly, you cleared his tears with your hand “Ten you can cry don’t worry, everyone deserves a second chance, so you do” You didn’t know if that helped him more of made him worse “I just don’t know myself anymore, Im lost”

To be honest, you didn’t know how to handle that situation instead you just said “Ten, If something happens Im here, okay?”

Thanks for reading y’all <3 And you could follow because big things are coming (I already said that like a 100 times lmao)

[crimsonedquill]

hello darling! im the person who sent in the request for you green thumbs imagine! i love it to death and I even printed it out so I can read it whenever I don't have my phone on me hehehe

i was wondering if you could do an imagine for seb with a trans mc? (ftm) I came out to my mom as trans today and it did not go well at all, I'm very emotionally distraught it and some hurt/comfort from my favourite slytherin would really help me feel better <333

Phoenix Feather (Sebastian Sallow x trans!MC)

Tags: Short (1.6k), Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out to friends

I admit reading your ask had me sitting speechless for a hot minute. I'm incredibly flattered that you like my writing and even more that you would trust me with such a personal request (especially as someone who, full disclosure, doesn't have any practical experience writing trans characters or who doesn't even usually write Sebby content, for that matter) so that had me setting the bar just a little higher for myself than I usually do!

So after dropping all of my other stuff to do a lot of research, writing, research, rewriting, banging my head against a wall and rewriting again, I hope I produced something that does you justice. Again, this is all new territory for me, so any misconceptions are mine and mine alone.

On a more personal note, please know that you're loved and that you have a right to live your life authentically. Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it. 🖤

The platform slowly slides into view behind the window of the carriage. Sebastian turns to look at Arden, his gaze soft and comforting as he asks: “Are you ready?”

Arden nods, even though part of him feels he will never be ready. He’s nervous, about the questions, about what his friends will say. He knows he will be all right in the end, especially with Sebastian at his side, but he hasn’t been able to shake off the feelings of doubt, clinging to him like a shadow ever since he made the decision to go back to Hogwarts.

He feels the gentle touch of Sebastian’s fingers on his hand, grounding him. “There is nothing to fear. I will be with you all the way, do you understand?”

“Yes,” Arden says hoarsely. He skips a beat before asking, “What do you suppose they’ll say?”

“I don’t know,” Sebastian admits. It’s one of the things Arden appreciates most about the Slytherin; he never shies away from telling him the truth, uncomfortable as it may be. “I‘ll wager most of them won’t think of you any differently. They’ll have questions, as I did, but eventually they will see that you’re the same friend they said their goodbyes to a few months ago. And if they don’t… well, then they’re not deserving of your friendship anyway.”

At last, the carriage comes to a halt, sending a small shock through them. Arden hears the excited chatter coming from the platform, students meeting each other again after the long summer break. It’s like nothing has changed and everything has changed, all at the same time.

He looks up when Sebastian offers his hand to him. “Let’s go introduce ourselves again, shall we?”

— — —

The first person he reintroduces himself to is Ominis. He feels uneasy when he approaches the Gaunt boy; despite his blindness, he’s always felt like Ominis is able to see right through him, and now he has that feeling more than ever. Still, there’s nothing but kindness in his voice when he politely shakes his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Arden. Allow me to… offer you my best wishes in this new chapter of your life.”

“Thank you, Ominis,” Arden says, feeling a weight fall off his shoulders. He struggles for a moment as he thinks of what to say next. Then, he says, “I would very much like to continue to be your friend.”

Ominis inclines his head. “And I would be honoured to continue to be yours.”

They speak for a little while longer before saying their goodbyes. Sebastian turns to him when they leave. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“It wasn’t,” Arden admits. “You told him about me, didn’t you?”

“I might have mentioned some details during our correspondence over the summer. Not on purpose, though – he simply wanted to know how you were faring.”

“I should have suspected as much.” Arden chuckles. “He’s a good friend.”

“That he is.” Sebastian nods.

As they proceed to meet more people, however, they find once again that rumours travel fast at Hogwarts. Natty gives him a bracelet adorned with a spectrum of beads – a gift her mother had given her after she completed her animagus training. Each bead symbolises both continuity and change, courage and inner strength, she says, and Arden is at a loss for words when she hugs him. Meanwhile, Poppy timidly presents him with a Phoenix feather, a gesture that doesn’t require an explanation. Arden accepts the gift with tears in his eyes and vows to treasure it forever.

Not everyone is as understanding, or at least not at first. Garreth’s ignorant comment about Polyjuice Potion earns him a snarky retort from Sebastian – is there even anything underneath all that hair, Weasley? But when he realises his mistake, the Gryffindor’s face goes as red as his hair and he quickly apologises. Amit, on the other hand, has a lot of questions but is genuinely curious, and Arden does his best to answer them all. Even the people he feared telling the most react with nonchalance at worst. Imelda simply shrugs when he introduces himself again. She’s pleased that he finally feels comfortable in his own skin, but he should know that she will still beat him on a broom any day.

As the day draws to an end, Arden feels a mix of relief and doubt. He can’t deny reintroducing himself to his friends wasn’t as difficult as he expected it to be, yet his sense of unease lingers, and he can’t help but notice it has something to do with Sebastian – feeling it whenever he catches his gaze, the Slytherin flashing him that once-irresistible boyish grin. He finds himself in need of a place to think, a lot. When he gets the chance to slip away from Sebastian’s watchful eye, he quietly disappears into the shadows. The darkness embraces him like an old friend as he wanders, his mind consumed with thoughts. He tries to piece together his jumbled emotions, trying to understand why he feels so conflicted. Is it guilt? Shame? Regret? Fear?

He doesn’t know. He wishes he knows. Eventually, he finds the familiar door on the seventh-floor corridor of the Astronomy Tower, taking a deep breath as he steps inside.

— — —

It doesn’t take long for Sebastian to notice that Arden has slipped away. He quickly starts looking everywhere, from the Undercroft to the Quidditch pitch, but it doesn’t occur to him to check the Room of Requirement until the very last moment. He spots Arden immediately as he enters; he’s sitting on one of the sofas in front of the grass vivarium, staring at the red feather in his hands. He looks up as Sebastian comes running towards him and quickly wipes out his misty eyes. “Oh, hello, Sebastian.”

“Arden, what’s wrong?” he asks with concern. “Was it something someone said? Just give me their names and I –”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Arden said. He sighs, turning the feather in his palms. He struggles to put his feelings into words, his thoughts eluding them like they’re not his own. “Today went better than I could have ever hoped for. In retrospect, I’m not even sure what I was so afraid of. Everyone’s been so kind, and understanding…”

“Well, of course.” Sebastian sits down next to him. “They know you. Why would they think of you as any different from what they did before?”

Arden looks up at him now, fresh tears welling in his eyes. “I don't know,” he says. “But I’m afraid, Sebastian. The truth is that I still don’t know what this means, for me, and you. Spending time with you and having you beside me… is one of the few things that’s ever really made sense in my life. And even if you’ve been nothing but supportive so far, I can’t help but ask myself these questions… what if you change your mind about me? What if you feel I’m no longer the person you fell in love with?”

A silence falls between them. Sebastian is thinking, his face caught in a frown. After what feels like an eternity, he takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what I can say to put your mind at ease,” he confesses. “But I can tell you what matters to me. Do you remember what you told me that night you ran away from home and came knocking on our door in Feldcroft?”

Arden thinks for a moment. “I… I’m not certain –”

“I am. You told me you’d felt trapped all of your life, and that was the night you had finally decided to set yourself free. And the truth was that I did see a different person in that moment. I saw someone who, for the first time in their life, was in complete peace with their mind and body, like a mask had fallen away from their face. I’ll admit it did feel as if I was meeting a new person – as if I was only getting to know the true you then.”

He takes one of Arden’s hands and lovingly cups his cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “I’m glad you found your happiness. And if you really think that I care for you so little that any of this would ever make any difference to me, you’re only fooling yourself. I want to be there for you –” he closes Arden’s palm around the Phoenix feather “– in this new life, right next to you.”

Arden doesn’t respond immediately. He just sits there, trying to keep himself from crying. And failing miserably at it, as he starts choking up and leans forward in the Slytherin’s warm embrace. Sebastian says nothing as he holds him, gently rubbing his back until he’s composed himself enough to be able to speak again.

“Sebastian…” he says, his voice finally breaking from the emotion and fatigue, “thank you.”

“Just close your eyes,” he answered. “I will still be here when you open them again.”

Arden did as he said, wrapping himself into Sebastian’s arms. Clutching the Phoenix feather in his hand, he drifts off into a dreamless slumber. And for the first time in what feels like ages, he finally feels whole, as though he were precisely where he was meant to be.

[cigmuttfreud]

i think today was one of the best if not the best of all our little whatever-ya-call-its

first off i am writing this before i get completely trashed because i feel it impending, so i wanted to get my thoughts out while i still could.

him edging in the morning was probably the best decision ever. i got to taste even more of him, twice. hell yeah. the first time was fun because it got somewhat messy. honestly, don't regret it. only complaint is it getting in my hair.

i spent a lot of time on top of him today. usually its not my favorite because its harder to hit the right angles and my knees give out, but today i was able to actually handle it and god i get the hype. him grabbing my hips as my face is pressed into his shoulder. moving me in time with his movements. i felt so full. and so close to him, which i really like.

the first nap and wakeup surprise was super unexpected, because unlike last time I didn't even feel it. like i didn't wake up until he started with his mouth. achievement i suppose. he's gotten so much better with his mouth. constant improvement. i have 0 complaints.

i noticed today that when using his hands on the outside, he's basically found the spot. tortured me with it a bunch though. i really like it when he makes me wait to cum. i complain and struggle every time but the payoff is always good and i like him controlling me a lot.

lots of hand stuff in general. the three fingers was fine this time, am i getting used to it? it hurt for only a second. me begging and pleading for him to stop.... gaaaaaahhh... him continuing to go faster.

fourth finger was kinda dodgy. unironically really hurt and i think he tore something but the way he handled it... told me to quit complaining and that i'll get better next time. him appearing to have like no regard for my feelings as i cried and begged him to take them out. and when he did, holding me and telling me it'll all be ok as he tells me to quit crying and that he'll do it again next time. agghhhhhhhhhhhh i love when he does stuff like that.

him cutting his initials into me. i literally came from it. as dumb as that sounds. its just, pure ownership. a constant reminder of who i belong to. it feels so good when he does it.

him telling me while i was nonverbal at one point how much he loves everything about me. like going on a whole rant about it. and how much i belong to him. i was literally gonna cry it made me so happy.

so much kissing this time and i love it. literally like top 3 things ever. its just such a hungry feeling that nothing else can really fix its so good.

is it missionary if hes bent over me or is that technically a mating press? dunno and dont really care but every time he'd pull my hips in closer and slam into me. i could do that all day.

something i could seriously do all day was doggy. it's my favorite which i guess makes sense. it feels the best. no angles, no hurt legs, only occasionally falling off the bed. just straight in and fast. he gets really fast with it actually. it makes me so dumb and dizzy.

him recording me and making fun of me with it. another weird thing i came from. idk why i liked it so much. as soon as i got home i rewatched the videos like 4 times. aaaa im weird.

me passing out. i wish i was able to see what he did while i was because he said he did something.

him choking me like severely that one time where there was genuinely no way to breathe. like strangling and pulling my head up. it was crazy.

my head game was sorta alright. i think i got the tongue stuff down and found a new weird suction technique with the front of my mouth but i was having major choking problems and stuff. it made me really lightheaded. even though he told me to stop i kept going because i wanted to make him feel good even when he tood me to stop going so deep.

i felt good just staring at him watching the faces of pure pleasure he made as he jacked off the second time. i was so locked in. and then my throat was like instantly full. i miss that feeling. i'm sorta useless without him using me.

him denying me water. yeah another control thing i like, what about it?

anyway its almost done kicking in its so bad oh my god i wish i could write more

[somewhereinneptune]

An intuitive message for those who need it 🖤

Welcome<3 I really did not know what to title this post,all I knew is I needed to post it.

Context : I was doing some automatic writing from spirit while getting some tarot cards about a decision I've been making several times, but never being able to fulfil due to my emotional side. I've been wanting to walk away from a situation that had started to bring me more pain than good, more confusion than clarity, and more waiting aimlessly than being present. I just never truly or fully walk away cause I have so much deep emotion and love for the person involved, and I keep clinging to the good parts of it, the healing or uplifting parts. Let's say the energy is healing, or is for sometime , yet the person's attitude and actions are harmful.

So today it was another moment of 'im done ' and I started jotting tips from spirit on how I can truly walk away without my emotions dragging me back, and it turned to automatic writing. Mid doing that, all I could see was me writing the tips on Tumblr and preparing it as a post, and when I was done I asked spirit about it,and they said many would be in need of the same message we provided, cause it's a collective time of karmic cleanse and leaving the old, stepping into the new (the last line came just now) and they highlighted or I remembered that Saturn has just gone retrograde, which makes so much sense. Any way, I hope this reaches whoever needs it,and I wish you healing from all that's not good for you<3

Tips from spirit about letting go from harmful and unhealthy situations:

1. Acknowledge and come to terms with your decision.Nothing can be done if you don't look it in the eye, be conscious of it fully, and say "I want to do it now. This ends NOW."

Acknowledge that you want to close the chapter and that that's your decisive action.

2. Be in the present,the flow of life amidst everything ; this will take time. When releasing anything,like going through a break up, transformations, or making any major change,it's important to acknowledge that it won't be done overnight, so take it slow,and let life go on. Don't drown in shame if some time passes and you're still releasing (don't feel like a failure or a fuck up/ unable to heal) it's okay , it's the natural process of life.

3. Expect that your ex will keep popping up , either through dreams, or physically trying to win you back, love bombing you, giving you promises and such. Don't fall for the old, for the tricks, for the crumbs. In fact, even if your ex is genuine about changing for the better, it is still your valid choice whether you want to take them back or not.

4. Leave with grace, and don't look back in anger. We either attain, or we learn. Acknowledge that this situation was a catalyst for you both, and that growth happens in harsh and painful environments. Growing is tough and raw, and it only requires a tough situation to do that for you. You learned a lot, set boundaries, and considered yourself in the end, that's a win. You gained something for yourself, otherwise this situation wouldn't have crossed your path. Adding to that, reflecting on how it was a catalyst and remembering or jotting down the things you've learned, the stuff this situation mirrored, or the way you've grown can help so much. It can help you to release it more lightly and less with anger and resentment.

"write it out" also kept coming to my head all day. It means write your emotions out, or they will suffocate you. Write the pain you feel, the tears, the betrayal, the everything. Let paper devour it all.

Also songs that came in my head :

Ocean eyes - Billie Eilish

Kiss it off me - cigarettes after sex

[protorose-harmony]

🩷why is everything about our body so big?... its already been a weepy morning and i haven't seen anhone yet. I dont want to be here, back in this place where I was trapped and forced to "not exist" for sooo long. Yeah sure the other one got to be face, they were "normal" they were "who the family wanted but until they broke and forgot about me, my source, my original. They just wanted to be my friend, they wanted me to exist. Bht every time they did something for me or later if i was able to get a thought forward and they noticed enough to respond to it, I was always wrong, they weren't "supposed to be a girl"(🧡im not them but i used to be and guess what we sure fucking were, even back then🧡). This place is hell to me. These people, some of them true beacons and places we all can feel safe... but thats not this house, this house where I had to be imprisoned in our own mind. "They" was miserable, they didn't understand why even... i like to think a lot of it was that they missed me. My original source became the soul of so many in the darkwater... but so far we have yet to be able to pull far enough in to just turn all perception and perspective into the worlds we built for ourselves... but we made it work, those of us who had to pick up the pieces after "They" shattered did their jobs and wven got us someplace we thought would be safe. We found a person who promised to be our owner and take care of us if we took care of her and jt was good for so long but we wanted to go out and do more than she did (specifically kinky and witchy stuff. That she brought us into irl instead of just online) and we lost ourselves to the screen just trying to skip past yhe boring bits. And that was bad for all of us. It led to some general mental stuff that we aren't gonna get into but it kinda came to a head when the front group, me included, and her had a talk. She was done with us at that point or at least she was past what she felt she could handle. We had a decent therapist we were working on our meds but mental health just kept flaring up. And the woman who told us she would take care of us and keep us safe... someone outside who I actually allowed myself to trust... did not follow through on either of the exit plans we had agreed on. We begged her to adopt us to a new owner who would be better equipped or more willing or whatever, someone who would actually care about Our/my wishes. Either adopt us or bring us back where she found us, to the people I consider to be My family. Sure it would've meant carting our ass back to Arkansas but at least that would've been somewhat better for me/us mentally rather than being back here. But no she got us (fresh out of the hospital, not yet lucid to make any decision for ourselves and she apparently had us call body's parents and next thing i knew inwas back in this hell i was forced to grow up in. We fucking love that woman, other than the ending she was nothing but amazing to us in so many ways, she spoiled the fuck out of us, she got us around all sorts of cool places and people. If she would take us back we would go back to her in a heartbeat. But she also fucked us, she fucked Me over pretty bad with where she left us. And like we're not sure if she doesn't realize how bad of a situation she put us in or if she just detached herself so much that she isn't letting herself care anymore... fuck today just hurts and i want us to just crawl back into bed and shut everything out for the day but the others have things they want to do so i get to get dragged around again...🩷

-Alex🩷

[astroyongie]

EXO March Reading Edition

Note: Please remember to take my words lightly and to enjoy the reading !

Suho

Love: His situation is complicated, because Junmyeon is in a relationship, but currently things are a little complicated.They haven’t seen each other for a couple of times, they are having troubles communicating what they want. Because Junmyeon is pressed by his family to settle and marry but his partner doesn’t seem to want that life. He has been understanding of their needs and wants, but his voice his left out. Junmyeon spends a lot of time with his friends and I see someone that he will meet next week that will help him with this

Career: Overall things seem good, he only has some difficulty decisions to make concerning where his career is going. His managers are behind him, and he has good plans overall. Junmyeon dedicates himself by helping his members on their work but also helping other trainees and even other idols

Health:

Physical: Is going through some digestive issues, nothing serious  

Emotional: He is undergoing treatment his his past traumas and his emotional health that has been having hard time lately

Xiumin

Love: I didn’t got much info for Minseok’s reading. He is still dating his non idol partner and things seem to be going just fine. He is happy with his relationship and he might even think about taking this to the next step !

Career:  He had some collabs and projects he started to work on, but it seems like the company pushed it a little to be released later. He has been close to the higher ups and he is taking his career into his own hands. He doesn’t wish to become a collateral effect of SM’s issues

Health:

Physical: Blood pressure should be checked, because he has a bad circulation. Teeth and headaches are recurrent lately, also his legs feel heavy, probably due to that circulation thing  

Emotional: Working on his mental health, it’s a difficult period for him at the moment

Baekhyun

Love: His love life is confused, I don’t think Baekhyun is currently dating as an serious thing, but more having fixed flings with one person in particular.  The relationship is very discreet, not many people know about it, mostly because he wishes for it to be kept under the radar. He also doesn’t feel ready to give anyone a healthy relationship for the moment

Career:  He is extremely upset with how his career is being managed by the company at the moment. He feels stuck with ideals he doesn’t want to meet, there is arguments and I kinda see the company blackmailing him to do whatever they want him to do. Baekhyun clearly is getting fed up with their shit

Health:

Physical: Rather okay, just some headaches sometimes

Emotional: Mental health is awful and he isn’t being followed by a professional at the moment. Not only his hormonal issues don’t help him, but Back also doesn’t sleep well, he has depressive episodes and his mind is troubled

Chen

Love: Complicated, I don’t want to debate that much when it comes to Jongdae’s situation. I just want to say he has been spending more time with his “family of heart” (friends per exemple), then his actual family which generates conflicts

Career:  He is working on his solos activities again, he is getting everything ready and settled for. I also see him participating in a lot of tv shows and stuff like that, im working independently. However he isn’t happy with the company either, mostly because they don’t pay him in the right dates, and they keep juggling him and wanting different things for him

Health:

Physical: He is definitely sick with something, since all my sickness cards came out. It’s something related with his heart condition

Emotional: X

Chanyeol

Love: Chanyeol is still in a relationship. I will have to check if this person is the same person he was dating in August. In any case I see a lot of complicated moments on his relationship, mostly due to choices and not being in the same page with his partner. But other than that, he is in love and complexity into his relationship. I suppose he wants to take this further but his partner isn’t ready for it

Career:  So much conflict, like a lot. He has been arguing and fighting against his company, trying to communicate his feelings and his needs on his career, but the managers and higher ups discard his words. That gets him very annoyed

Health:

Physical: Rather okay, just some stomach aches sometimes

Emotional: He is okay and stable mentally

D.O.

Love: Kyungsoo seem to be single at the moment, he keeps getting disappointed in love and he isn’t happy with the people that cross his path romantically speaking. At the moment he is trying to focus only on his career and letting the rest come whenever it wants to come

Career:  A lot of things happening. I see that some coworkers aren’t happy with the path that he took, but he doesn’t care less. Kyungsoo is happy with his career, he is having a lot of projects to work on, he is being blessed with stable income and good karma. A lot of his projects are going well and this year he will show many colors, as a singer and actor as well.  

Health:

Physical: He also had some stomach issues but everything is okay now, he is under meds to fix that

Emotional: Needs to slow down and adapt himself to his natural emotional rhythm. He self doubts a lot

Kai

Love: His love status is.. well complicated to understand. I don’t know if he is still in a relationship or not, but this thing seem like it’s breaking into pieces. Jongin isn’t happy, he is disappointed and I feel like he will separate from this person unfortunately

Career: Despite his comeback being upon us, he doesn’t seem happy with his the whole thing was managed. Firstly because they discussed and argued a lot about what the comeback was supposed to be and again the company made him adopt something he didn’t fully agree with. But Jongin doesn’t have his say on this. Someone in the company wants to harm him

Health:

Physical: Insulina levels should be checked out for possible diabetes status, kidneys, liver and bladder as well, he needs to drink more water. His vertebras too, his body is getting used from dancing so much

Emotional: Rather okay mentally, but his toxic environment doesn’t help him

Sehun

Love: He too isn’t in a relationship, Sehun only has flings and recently he was having a fling with a older person that is divorced (they met in august 2022 and they started the fling around December). He knows that this won’t ever gets serious and for now he is just enjoying their company

Career:  He lost os much money, however thankfully he was bale to get it all back with some of his projects. There’s someone inside the company that supports him a lot, even financially. Because of that, even with minimum work he is able to secure a wealthy life

Health:

Physical: He is okay, he probably got a cold not long ago

Emotional: His energy is a little rocky but he is fine

Lay

Love: Okaaay.. I won’t be able to argument a lot on what is happening in Yixing’s love life.. Let’s say he is in a relationship, but things happens, responsibilities needs to be taken, family is involved. That’s all I can say

Career:  His relationship with work is extremely unhealthy but it’s making him very very wealthy so he keeps going. I see him traveling a lot this year for his career and business related things

Health:

Physical: Headaches due to lack of sleep

Emotional: Depressive episodes are recurrent and the boy doesn’t sleep, like at all and it’s extremely unhealthy. He also has unhealthy habits and consumptions, dark thoughts and a lot of issues that need to be solved