#i would kill for helnik happy ending

[rat---king]

Finished episode one and both Nina and Inej continue to not only the best but also my beloveds

[sungbeam]

requests, the third round

a/n: yk,, i always say im not good with requests, but sometimes, i really do just need a whole system reboot and to look at other people's ideas 💀 so this is me trying 🤸‍♀️

NOW OPEN FROM TODAY, SEPT. 5TH TO FRIDAY, SEPT. 8TH !! NOW CLOSED

some ground rules:

✶ remember that i am Not Good At Requests. if i don't end up getting to yours/give up on them, then i'm sorry. if u want a guaranteed fic, u prob shouldn't come to my inbox :')

✶ this is my mainly sfw blog; pls keep all requests pg-13, suggestive at the most. here's a sample of how far i'm willing to go for the sake of readers on this blog.

✶ i'm very much willing to write about death, grief, violence, and blood, to an extent. pls do not send a request romanticizing toxic and/or abusive relationships, bc i will delete it.

✶ i write fem reader at default, but i am very much open to gn reader too. just be sure to specify!

✶ would i write a love triangle? a love square? a love octagon??? (yes, i'm bringing this back) if u want it, and i have the energy for it, lmk LMAO

✶ ONCE YOU HAVE SENT IN A REQUEST, i will update this post below the cut with requests i've received so far. pls check there for if i've seen your ask :]

how to request:

send a prompt(s)/au/song inspo/etc + genre(s) + desired idol boyo(s)!!

— i'll write for anyone from the EIGHT groups i have a masterlist for LOL (prob an emphasis on tbz but maybe this'll get me back to ncity, who knows)

— some prompt ideas: dialogue. question starters. fluff. hozier for vibes. from a villain. werewolf by night quotes.

request queue!

— if u told me i don't have to use all the prompts, i still put them down just so i have all the ideas in one place ^_^

lee hyunjae x "you feel like home to me" x debut/predebut era — from anon

jung wooyoung x "i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me" x "there’s nothing sweeter than my baby" x fluff, suggestive — from @jaehunnyy

lee hyunjae x e2l x "i don't understand why you have to torment me every second of the day! you were a sweetheart when you left, obviously life happened and now you're a devil! what the fuck, lee jaehyun?!" x "you don't understand how i think of you everyday when we were apart" x "i'm not saying that i'm using you but could you fix me? put me back together?" — from anon

kim sunwoo x e2l x spy au x angst x "working together again, it’s just like old times." x "clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place." x "the only one who gets to kill you, is me." x "enemies make the best lovers, you know. " x "why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood?" — from @shakalakaboomboo

hwang intak or yoon keeho x “it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break.” x hurt/comfort — from anon

eric sohn x bffs2l x "was that your first kiss?" x "you can kiss me, you know." — from @mosviqu

eric sohn x “i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you” x “promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up?” — from @ericlvr

lee sangyeon x spy au x "what are you doing out here by yourself?" x "you gonna be a good girl for me?" x "they're dangerous? well unfortunately, so am i." x suggestive/action — from @winterchimez

choose an idol boy 😋 x actors au x e2l x happy ending by svt — from 🌷 anon

idol boy selection in progress x corpse bride au x horror — from 🌷 anon

lee juyeon(?) x soc/helnik au x "i fell in love with the fire long ago." — from @hqrana

xu minghao x "when i was a child, i heard voices… some would sing and some would scream." x "i’m standing in the ashes of who i used to be." x shang-chi au x angst and/or comfort — from @tranquilpetrichor

jacob bae or ji changmin x hozier's francesca x hurt/comfort, angst x a love that endures — from @zzoguri

ji changmin x new year's day (taylor swift) x fluff, comfort — from anon

jacob bae x band au x secret muse/songwriter au x vancouver by big naughty x busking — from @hongyangi

choi chanhee x e2l x she fell first, but he fell harder trope x banter/teasing — from @richasdiary

lee hyunjae x royalty au x poor girl/servant girl x royalty/prince au — from anon

lee hyunjae x bad boy good girl trope — from anon

kevin moon x older brother's best friend x secret relationship x "good morning, sleeping beauty." x "is that my shirt?" x "you look good like this." x "are you trying to get us in trouble?" x "are you sure this is a good idea?" x fluff, suggestive — from @confuchan

lee juyeon x "we can't keep doing this" x bffs 2 lovers — from anon

choi beomgyu x heartbreak girl by 5sos x angst, uber fluffy ending — from @loveliestfelix

lee jeno x best friends 2 lovers x dress by taylor swift — from anon

eric sohn x hands by flatsound x angst with or without a happy ending — from anon

eric sohn x “is that my shirt?” x fluff/suggestive — from anon

lee hyunjae x "you can hold my hand, if you want." x zombie apocalypse au — from anon

kim sunwoo x sweet nothing by taylor swift — from anon

[gryffindorkalicious]

My review on S&B season 2

So I binged watch Shadow and Bone in on sitting and OMGGGGGGG.

OMGGGGGGGGG

WOWWW

THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE AND I HAVE A FEW THOUGHTS

PLOT

The plot was rushed like it was there is no denying it, but it was also fun in the best way possible. IMO The writers really aced it for TV. You can tell they actually respect the source material and understand it well. I know that a lot of controversy is surrounding season 2 but I would like to point out that I think the writers and actors did BRILLIANT with what time they had. Like I am pretty sure I saw a tweet that said that the writers weren’t sure that they would get the green light for season 3 and with that in mind they were exceptional. They did remove quite a few scenes from R&R and S&S, I really missed alina’s white hair and MAL’s  “I am become Blade tattoo”. And as someone who has read the books I missed the character development that was done but at the same time, I have come to realise that adaptations are different from source materials and it’s best to seperate them both. That way you enjoy it more. And my friend (Who hasn’t read the books) loved it even more then me.

Nikolai hiring the crows was absolutely genius, it was a really good introduction

The Crows having to steal the sword plotline was so good was so goodd

The transition for Kaz’s flashback was so good ( Can I just say that I loved the VFX for this season)

KANEJ AND HELNIK ANGST ALMOST KILLED ME 

WESPER BEING SO IN LOVE IS AAAHHHHHHHHHH IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE

THE ENDING THOUGH OKAY IK UNPOPULAR OPINION BUT I LOVED THE ENDING BECAUSE ALINA IS SUCH A SLAY IN THIS SEASON AND HER USING THE CUT AND I WAS SO HAPPY THAT SHE DIDN’T LOSE HER POWERS LIKE IK THAT THE THEME WAS POWER CORRUPTS BUT IDFC, LIKE LET IT CORRUPT. INFACT I WANT IT TO CORRUPT. I CANT WAIT FOR NEXT SEASON IF ITS HAPPENING 

Zoya having the bee fly near her (...............)

The fight scenes were really impressive like it was done so innovatively.

The plot was like 7.5/10 for me because ik that its a TV show but I still love the books too much, However, my friend gave it a 9.5/10 (She wanted more of the crows)

2 major complaints I do have is that WHY THE FUCK IS DAVID DEAD??????

LIKKKE WHY SHOWWRITERS??

hUHHH??

WHAT WAS THE REASON??

 and my 2nd complaint is please give me zoyalai crumbs, I wanted some banter but I was disappointed.

ACTING

the acting done by each and every charcater was phenomenal. Ben Barnes was amazing as usual, Jessie mei lei added her beautiful depth to Alina’s character, Archie renaux make Mal’s character so much more three dimensional, NIKOLAI, TOLYA,TAMAR AND WYLAN. OMGGG. When I tell you they were fucking perfect like their expressions, their dialogue, their attitude. Jaw droppingly amazing. Daisy was so good as Genya this season like her raw emotion could literally be felt throught the screen. Her acting literally made me hate the Darkling so much. Amita was amazing as Inej, she as born for this role and danielle and Callahan have such amzing chemistry I can cry.  Kit young is amazing, I love him so much. I wanted Sujaya to have more screen time because she is amazing but i know she had conflicting schedules but still :(

Freddy carter though,

WHAT THE FUCK

IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE PLUCKED OUT KAZ FROM THE BOOKS AND WAS LIKE HERE YOU GO AND HAVE THE MOST HEART WRENCHING STORY BE DONE IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. LIKE HE KILLED. HE ABSOLUTELY SLAYED WITH THE ACTING. I WAS FLABBERGASTED. OMFGGGG. WHAT WAS THAT. LIKE FREDDY CARTER IS KAZ BREKKER. PERIOD.

OVERALL THE ACTING WAS A 10/10. I could not imagine a more perfect cast.

Conclusion

I Liked the show, had fun with it. The best way to enjoy it is as Leigh said,” Think of it as a fanfiction.” Sepereating the show from the book is the best thing to do for adaptation guys. I understand why people may not like it but still fucking watch it. IDNC that you didnt like it. WATCH IT. I need my Ice heist spin off. <3

Overall it was 8.5/10 ( ik the average is mathematically wrong but idc this is the rating i felt right with)

[blazethecheeto]

Ok some of you are going to hate me for this but I genuinely really liked Shadow and bone s2!! I was spoiled beforehand of how bad the ending was and how they changed so much- etc. But hear me out , I thought the changes (at least, most of them) made a lot of sense and actually made me like the story more!

First off, Inej going off to fight slavers with her ship made a lot of sense to me. She was looking to the future this whole season. She wanted to find her family, to be free of Ketterdam and her debt to the Staves. Inej looked so free in her last scene, chasing down a slaver ship just like the one she had been captured on. They established that nicely in the show and I love that she's going to find herself (of course she's coming back for the heist, I'm not worried about that). Also the boat crew are going to be such a power team (Mal, Inej, Tolya, Tamar, Nadia)

Malina's changed 'ending' made me really happy too! I adore how they split paths in the end, because I dislike soulmate tropes if they're done badly (which they usually are). However this line that they said, "If I come back to you, it's by choice. Choice, not destiny." Yes! That's everything I wanted from them. They can't be in love because he's the Firebird and basically serves the Sun Summoner as a weapon. (I am become a blade-), but as two people. They have to go away to find themselves before they find each other. Also, in the books, Mal was absolutely miserable tagging along, being Alina's loyal soldier. He wanted to be out there, exploring the world. Being Sturmhond was a smart move as Nikolai has to focus on being king and Mal fits his vibe. Alina is the opposite, she likes the power, as we saw, she craves it, for better or for worse.

They opened up so many great storylines that could make the third season. Alina being an evil queen with shadow summoning abilities that parallels her with the darkling?? Nikolai as the king, also filled with merzost?? One, maybe I'm biased as a nikolina shipper, but now they can understand each other's darkness. we still have yet to get the "i want to kiss you" scene from them. There are actually a lot of things and plots from both books they could fit in the third season. The Apparats cult for one. I know that Alina is going to get more powerful, and this is where the Soldat Sol comes in... maybe she accepts them this time and raises her army. Her hair could still turn white from using her shadow powers. I'm very excited for the prospect of Alina's character development in s3.

Characters like Adrik, relationships like Tamadia, they still need to be developed as well, so they could focus on them in s3. Harshaw and Oncat need to be introduced! Inej's trauma needs to be addressed, and hopefully in s3 or the spin off, they focus a lot more on it. Nina's past as well.

Another change I liked was Matthias choosing not to kill the wolves, and instead killing a guard, permanently imprisoning himself in Hellgate. That was surprising to me because I was going into that scene prepping myself for the wolf deaths. Although I do love Matthias killing them in the books because it shows how messed up Hellgate has made him become, this outcome in the show changes things. Now he is not innocent, now he saw Nina and the pardon that was just out of reach. Matthias damned himself and it hurts. That Helnik angst.

I loved loved the Crows this season. The mini heists, the banter, the development we got from everyone but Jesper especially?!! I was shocked and so so happy that he got an episode to embrace his Grisha heritage and got to be a badass Durast like YES I have been waiting YEARS.

The burial scene with Kaz and Pekka, I agree would have been insane in the SoC spinoff, but I think it fit a lot better in s2, because one, Pekka had already been introduced as a big bad in s1, it wouldn't have made sense to wait years and years to finally take him down for "book accuracy. " Kaz backstory, Pekka taking the Crow Club, all of those things are in Sab s2, so why not just do the burial scene in s2? Also it was so well done I had chills.

There are obviously things I did not like, and I will make another absurdly long post to rant about that. But I think the hate around the season for book fans is unnecessary. I didn't think it was rushed, and I was satisfied as a book fan!

[sabrinaacarpenters]

Thoughts on s2?

im very 50/50 on it to be honest, there were some parts that i really liked but all in all i liked season 1 so much more

i loved that they changed alina's ending, i hated how the trilogy ended and i'm book m/alina's number one hater so i did not give a fuck that they broke them up tbh. i was fine with them in the show in s1 but in s2 they bored me to tears and they got together way too fast in my opinion. also i think she had way more chemistry with nikolai so even though zoyalai is one of my otps i don't mind that if the show gets cancelled they're kind of endgame here, since i'll always have the books. and i'm so here for dark!alina!!

for the crows part, i loved the kanej scenes from the books even if they were completely out of order lmao but amita and freddy has amazing chemistry so i ate up all their scenes i think wesper was very rushed, i don't like how they made them sleep together prior and i think their dynamic is the most different from their book counterparts, but if we don't get s3/a spinoff at least they're endgame now one of my biggest gripes with this season is NOT ENOUGH HELNIK!! i truly hoped that even though we wouldnt get the ice court heist they would break matthias out of hellgate in the second part of the season in like individual storylines for them, even though i did not like how quickly kaz took down pekka, freddy's performance was amazing in episode 4, truly one of the highlights of the season for me. and my girl nina had so many amazing scenes this season i was very happy for her. i think jesper was a bit sidelined this season compared to the previous one, but i loved the dream/hallucination scene with his mom and it was great to see him embracing his powers; its going to be interesting how the heist plot changes now that he's not hiding it wylan is very much still a blank slate which i like, bc thats similar to how it was in the first book. matthias being plagued by sex dreams was basically the only thing he had going on but you know what im not complaining lmao inej already leaving to hunt down slavers was a change i did not like, and what was that look between her and tolya??? i was bamboozled. i also feel like they erased a huge part of her backstory and trauma, which i hope they'll rectify given the chance, my insane conspiracy theory is that tante heleen isn't actually dead and she'll show up at the ice court

killing david was sick of them tbh and i hate it but still the biggest crime was putting zoya in the ugliest baby pink gown they could find in the last ep. they truly did my girl so dirty

[thefandomtraveler]

Everything I liked about Shadow and Bone season 2 (warning: much comments about the crows + fangirling about the cast):

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2!!!

- first off all the new characters are amazing, I'm in love with Nikolai, still not over how perfect Jack is as Wylan, and Tolya and Tamar were so god damn cool I can't

- also everyone looked so good

- loved the whole part where they were in Bhez Ju (and the story about Sankta Neyar)

- Freddy Carter I bow down to you that performance was amazing, seriously I couldn't picture a better kaz

- also Daisy was so good too, like I was crying everytime she was on screen

- and basically everyone else, I'm so amazed by this whole cast, they really all brought these characters to life

- while wesper pining is like one of my favourite things in the books, i still really enjoyed what they did in the show

- just Wylan looking at Jesper like he is the only person that matters

- Jesper's reaction to Wylan playing piano had me smiling like an idiot

- AND THE KISS i gasped so loud... i was giggling and kicking my feet in the air and had to replay the scene

- also kanej was everything this season, we got so many scenes from the books and more (really glad they didn't kiss, though... netflix really had me worried at some points that it would happen)

- Nina Zenik was amazing the whole time, just her comments and looks whenever Kaz was being an idiot

- helnik had me in chokehold

- Kaz' reaction at wesper kissing was so funny (also not him cockblocking them in the morning, a really Kaz thing to do + Jesper's "No!" had me rolling)

- "I kinda like your face." just let me die here and now

- Tolya talking about poetry and him helping wesper

- Jesper realizing he HAS met Wylan before, only when he was LAYING ON TOP OF HIM... in the middle of a FIGHT

- Wylan talking about butterflies while everyone is dying, please he just wanted to tell Jesper they are so cute

- Jesper meeting his mother again I CRIED

- just Kaz' whole backstory, already hung on every page when I read it, my emotions were all over the place seeing it on screen

- Kaz talking to Pekka Rollins, just that whole performance deserves an Oscar thank you

- literally every fight scene

- first meeting of Nikolai and Kaz/Jesper (and Kaz figuring Nikolai out SO FAST and him side eyeing Jesper)

- Jesper calling Kaz his brother... this show wants me dead

- Nina and Inej friendship

- Jesper in a Kilt for like half of the season

- Nikolai revealing who he really is had me on the floor, i love that man so much (also Alina punching him in the face for keeping it a secret lol)

- Alina being a badass queen. That's it.

- felt so bad for Mal this season, my man was really going through it damn

- Ben Barnes' performance as the darkling was so good, but we already knew that

- Genya and David had my heart... I was already emotional every time they were on screen together but when Genya found the ruby and the scetch of the ring I was bawling my eyes out

- everytime Genya and Alina hugged

- Tamar and Nadia just being happy lesbians in the background, good for them (wish we would have seen more of them)

- just every Tolya and Tamar interaction (especially the hug when Tolya came back), also wished we could have seen more them

- Jesper hugging Inej and twirling her around (they are best friends i love them so much)

- the whole sequence of Alina and Mal at the end destroying the fold

- Matthias seeing the wolves and feeding them + the scene at the end where he doesn't fight against them and they stand next to him instead

- the difference between Nina telling everyone Matthias is the love of her life and him being in hellgate, having the worst time of his life, because he hates her but also really doesn't

- Inej killing the shadow monsters with the sword (what a queen)

- Zoya just being herself

- "And how will you have me?", that whole scene had me holding my breath....

- "I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I won't have you at all." screaming into my pillow

- Jesper shouting "That's my man!" when Wylan threw the bomb at the shadow monsters (+ him saying that they don't have to put a label on it just after realizing what he said)

- Jesper trying to figure out how to get things right with Wylan (and failing rip)

- Wylan and Jesper standing in the background holding eachother after they talk and make things right

- Wylan trying to hide the fact that he is the son of one of the richest man in Ketterdam

- and him trying to convince Kaz that it isn't Alby's fault, who his father is because Wylan knows how that feels

- Genya looking for David's heartbeat

- David telling Genya she does not need to be fixed

- Baghra casually breaking out of her prison, because really, what did Kirigan thought? Leaving her and Genya without a supervisor and assuming she would sit still in her cage... really wasn't his smartest move

- "Someday, someone is going to sweep you off your feet so hard, you won't know what hit you." / "I could fix him." I can't WAIT for Zoyalai (if we ever get another season)

- Jordie and little Kaz 🥺

- Nina getting waffles and Kaz giving her a look of pure confusion

- also their whole interaction at the tea shop

- Inej not being able to leave Kaz after him panicking

- Wylan telling the others he wants to know the plan too and then crossing his arms (i'm sorry babes all you do is looking adorable we need to work on that one)

- "You guard against pain. You guard against joy. But when you allow yourself to be blindsided by love... two hearts make a universe" her whole speech had me in tears

- Neyar and Jesper's talk about his powers and that he has a lot to catch up to

- over all him slowly accepting who he is and not wanting to hide anything (including Wylan)

- Wesper healthy communication is all I needed actually, they mean so much to me you don't understand

- Wylan and Jesper breaking into that landhouse and pretending to want to fix the piano

- Nina getting the information about the office so easily and Kaz being impressed (i love her)

- Wylan looking away whenever he smiles

- "What you did back there, made you a Crow" and "When was the last time you ate"... Kaz Brekker you aren't beating those dad crow allegations

- the moment when you think Nina actually betrayed Kaz but then realise it was the plan all along because obviously, it's Kaz Brekker

- Tolya and Nina bonding over food (mood)

- Wylan being so offended when Jepser calls him a total stranger (i'd be too tbf)

- "Are you worried about me Jesper Fahey?"

- the scene of Baghra and Kirigan where she sacrifices herself (I really like that this scene shows that there is still something human about the Darkling)

- "My demolitions expert." / "Expert? I mean, yes, expert." Never change Wylan

- Nikolai and Dominik bromance

- Tolya and Tamar knowing the other is there and alive by their necklaces

- Jesper embracing his grisha powers

- Inej and Zoya fighting together is something I didn't know I needed

- the five of crows joke

- the parallel of Matthias seeing Nina in the beginning of the season and ignoring her vs both of them screaming eachother's names while being dragged away at the end

- Mal and Nikolai just getting along and trusting eachother

- the teasers about Jurda Parem, the ice-court heist and Sankta Lizabeta

[nerdy-frog98]

Master List of Fandoms

Hey, welcome to my page! I have been a longtime lurker on Tumblr, but have never really participated in fandom discourse/discussions here until late-2022. This blog is multi-fandom, where I post generally about the things I am obsessed over (movies and shows mostly, occasionally beautiful people & music). This post is my list of fandoms (for my own personal organization, but this probably helps you understand who I am a little bit too!)

ACTIVE (media I actively watch & fangirl about. currently obsessed in a way that is probably unhealthy. ships i love will be posted in parentheses.)

Doctor Who (Tenrose, Doctor + River)

Stranger Things (BYLER, Jancy, Jopper)

Bridgerton (POLIN, Kanthony)

9-1-1 (BUDDIE, Bathena, Henren, and Madney)

Good Omens (Aziracrow)

Shadow and Bone (Malina, KANEJ, Wesper, Helnik, Zoyalai)

Loki (LOKIUS)

Heartstopper (all of the canon couples, but especially TaraDarcy 💗)

Red, White, and Royal Blue (Firstprince)

Gen V (MarieJordan)

The Last of Us

Percy Jackson (Percabeth)

INACTIVE (media I was once obsessed with and still think about on occasion. Will sometimes rewatch one and end up bumping it up to the active section...lol.)

Captain America (Stucky)

Young Royals (Wilmon)

Anne With An E (Shirbert ❤️)

Sherlock (Johnlock)

Warrior Nun (Avatrice)

The Umbrella Academy (DiegoLila)

Roswell: New Mexico (MALEX, I added their song below)

Merlin

Prodigal Son

Gotham

Killing Eve

His Dark Materials

Half-Bad - The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Prodigal Son

TURN: Washington's Spies

Bones

Criminal Minds

White Collar

This will be added to and updated constantly. Thank you for visiting my page, and happy scrolling!

[caspianxth]

Hi, more thoughts, sorry<3

like yeah i agree that kaz absolutely has a heart, but i think those acts of kindness are mostly reserved for the people he loves, even if wylan is new, you can tell he's already warmed up to him, and i really dont think he'd do something kind just because for someone he feels indifferent to at best, much less someone like a king, and wait omg i just remembered he's friends with sturmhund i take it all back, he would indeed give it up for his friend. and yeah youre right about wesper it was adorable, but i dont know i needed the slow burnnnnn, but yeah given netflix penchant for with gay shit, it was necessary.

And about everything else, yeah it made sense but it was really rushed, especially in s2, and like i get that they have to make everything as fast as they can in case it gets cancelled but im sad about it, but i just really hope malina does meet in the meadow in the end, cause at this point, this show is uncharted territory and completely new and i am so excited for it, and i think that was just setting up for nikolai i bet they will make him all scary later, or at least i hope. But like MERZOST!!!!! ALINA WTF!!! i loved the shadow cut it, like alina i love that youre very powerful but pls try not to turn evil, and like shes heading exactly in the direction the darkling said she would go which is so scary and obvious in a good way i love it. And omg the darkling, like in the books its neither easy to not root for him except maybe when he dies, but here omg, you're telling me he actually felt something for alina and it was not just manipulation!!!

Also Ben Barnes makes it really hard to not be on his side, Alina is waay stronger than me, "Make me your villain", for you? anything, also very simp i loved it, so its okay they omitted a lot of his character and relationship with alina, as they basically made a new one which i like. and about the white hair thing, it was iconic!!! i needed it!! but its okay, also i think the darkling probably experienced some shit associated with his power, but probably never like that cause the only amplifier he used was his mother, and it wasnt until he used merzost he became unstoppable, and it was slowly taking its toll on him, so slowy at first that it might have even been a plot hole, cause later it starts eating him from the inside.

Anyways Ice Court Heist is coming omgomgomgomg im so excited, i cant wait to see something really serious happening with nikolai and alina, and the crows just, just, yeah. i love them. i love jesper and wylan (the characters not their relationship in this instance) so much i could die just thinking about them.

And i think that's all my thoughts until now, I apologize in advance because I WILL think about it more and I WILL bother you about it<3

sturmhond my beloved <3 best of the grishaverse men truly!! also re wesper I love them I'd die for them plus with a tv show I need smth to be happy about and kanej: glacial pace, helnik: slow burn bc of the whole hellgate sitch. like I need smth to be diggin!!! re nikolai, a nichevo'ya is not how he should look and tbh I don't like how they're doing it in the show if that's the angle they take but hopefully I'm wrong. I do think paddy gibson did kill as nikolai like when they let book nikolai pop out? slayed!!! also yeah alina like don't be doin that (merzost) baghra made u promise!! but it is a way better end than her losing all her power and I'm excited to see where they take that, I saw on twitter somewhere that leigh has lots of ideas where to take it if given more so we shall see <3 also w the darkling, like, ok so 1 he is ben barnes so that's a thing bc I've been crushing on him since prince caspian but also!! like the thing is like, he really did love her for a bit there! he had peace when she surprise kissed him!! that's the moment he went right back to in his defeat right before alina mcstabbed him (which he did deserve btw). like the heartbreaking part w darklina is they really could've had it if he'd trusted her!!! but he didn't!!! and that was his greatest weakness!!!!! I do like malina but like, for me it's nikolina >>>>>>>>>> malina sorry. book or show nikolai is just *chef's kiss*. but also re nikolai, zoyalai >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>nikolina. so like, the setup there is also *chef's kiss*.

[viki-13]

Bestie I'm obsessed with Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom Just... Kanej😍 And Wesper And I am in love with Nina Zenik I'm still in denial about Matthias😭

And I liked the Nikolai duology too, Zoya is a queen and no one can convince me otherwise, and Zoyalai is so perfect

But I thought the main trilogy was trash Like SAB Alina was the most annoying protagonist ever. Seriously. Did she ever make a choice in any part of the story?? It felt like things were happening to her instead of her doing things. Less of a protagonist and more of a side character in her own story.

Siege and Storm Alina was much, much, better. I loved how she stepped up to the mantle of the leader, but Mal annoyed me so, so much. I'm not sure how I feel about Mal. It felt as if the only time they're 'happy' together is when Alina is helpless and out of her element, and the moment she becomes powerful he can't live with it. I mean, he as good as told her that he couldn't accept her being Grisha. I don't really like him. Ruin and Rising was decent, but I hated the ending. It felt like Alina had to lose her powers in order to end up with Mal, and I'm not sure I like that.

Genya and David ❤❤❤

And I... kinda liked the Darkling? Not in a 'he did nothing wrong, he's precious and pure' kind of way but more in a 'he's an anti-villain, but he's complex and I can see his perspective even if I fully don't agree with it' sorta way. I mean, if I had to deal with six hundred years of reports of Druskelle killing my kind and Shu Han using people I know as experiments, I'd go a little insane too. I didn't understand what that part about him making an army in the Nikolai duology was (like, wouldn't it be safer to just go into hiding until Mal, Alina, and Nikolai are dead?) but I read Demon in the Wood and it was better than the entire trilogy combined.

So... yeah. I'm feeling conflicted. Might reread TID to feel better.

Dude literally the same! Like the SaB trilogy was honestly pretty bore. I was legit gonna drop the grishaverse after reading it but then the show came out n I was like... Ok let's try out SoC AND OMG THEY CHANGED MY LIFE! I ALSO BOUGHT THEM😂.

Nikolai, Genya, David, Tamar, Tolya and Zoya carried the entire series. And yes I also liked the darkling very much. Like I don't ship darklina but if there was a 'best written villian award' the Darkling would win.

It broke my heart when he betrayed Alina cuz I pretty much hate Mal. Like the book Mal is ew. I don't ship Alina with anyone. Show Mal tho. ✨✨✨

Also yes the feelzzzzzz this gonna leave u with oh god. I cried. Like 3 times. Over 3 different people. In SoC and KoS. Like Matthias, David AND WHEN I THOUGHT HANNE DIED. Omg I was ready to be done with my life like just why. But thank the saints. Whew.

All other ships except Malina are ✨supreme✨

These are relationship goals man. If you don't have this the why?

'Maybe I liked your stupid face! '

This was mood. Chaotic gays at its finest.

I bought myself a pocket knife and named her Inej and everytime I'm scared or doing smth I don't want to I'm holding her the whole time.

Aaand yes the KoS duology ka plot was a bit.... Ehh.... BUT I'M HAPPY CUZ ZOYALAI AND NINA AND HANNA(I haven't found their ship name.... And I don't exactly want to.... Cuz like I ship them.... But Helnik. Just jfjsnensns)

The fact that your gonna reread TID. I love you man. TID is the first series I ever bought for myself and damn just wow it's so-

It's a life changer. There just are some books that literally change your life. But ok I'm not going there now.

Imma end this with 'I like it when men beg.'😉

[isuckatreadinglol]

Crooked Kingdom Review 🕰️

Holy shit.

(spoiler warning, duh)

Book: Crooked Kingdom (Book 2 of the Six of Crows Duology)

Author: Leigh Bardugo

Rating: 5.5/5

The Plot

This book took me a bit longer to finish because I wanted to absorb as much of the plot as possible because of how much action there was. Every chapter had something going wrong (cough cough part 4) which made it impossible to put the book down. Some parts literally had my heart racing.

There were a lot of interesting moments and I would hardly say they were predictable. At some parts of the book I literally had to just...sit there and just think about how incredible the twists were. I never expected anything to happen, and the way things played out in the end were mind-blowing. I loved the way the plot expanded and it was very satisfying when the book ended.

The Characters

"Where do you think the money went?" he repeated.

"Guns?" asked Jesper

"Ships?" queried Inej.

"Bombs?" suggested Wylan.

"Political bribes?" offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. "This is where you tell us how awful we are," she whispered.

I fell in love with every single character and watching them grow made me so happy. I think personally I loved Kaz Brekker the most in this book because you really got to see how his trauma left him scarred, as well as how skillful he really is when it came to the missions. The smallest details of Kaz's character just built him into such an awesome character. His backstory expanded, explaining so many things that I didn't even think I needed to know until I read them. Plus the fact that he basically wrote the book. Leigh made up the idea for the plot and Kaz said "I'll take it from here".

"I don't hold a grudge. I cradle it. I coddle it. I feed it fine cuts of meat and send it to the best schools. I nurture my grudges, Rollins"

And that was what destroyed you in the end: the longing for something you could never have.

Inej stole my heart again and again and for what. She really is such a well-built character with amazing determination. The beginning literally had me shaking (It was also the part of the book that had my heart-racing) because I really felt for Inej. Leigh also wrote Inej's kidnapped chapters perfectly, it felt so real. Her showdown with White Blade was so beautifully written and honestly Dunyasha was such a cool character I almost wish she was developed into something more rather than killed.

Anyway, Inej holds a place in my heart and it was refreshing to have such an in depth character, from her history at the Menagerie, to her references of her culture (which were so beautiful). It really made her stand out from the rest of the crew and she was just an incredible character.

"That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway."

"The Suli believe that when we do wrong, we give life to our shadows. Every sin makes the shadow stronger, until eventually the shadow is stronger than you."

Her heart was a river that carried her to the sea.

Jesper was the character I resonated the most with. His backstory was so interesting and structured, but simple. I did enjoy the appearance of his father because it added an element of Jesper's character we didn't see much of before. We got to learn his backstory and learn about his relationship with his father. His unhealthy habits was also something I resonated with so it comforted me to be able to understand this character and connect with him. Also, I love the fact that his ADHD was given more attention to show how and why he dealt with situations the way he did. Also, when he bent the direction of the bullet at the last part...chills. He's my ultimate comfort character and I loved getting to know him.

Guilt and love and resentment were all tangled up inside him, and every time he tried to unravel the knot in his gut, it just got worse.

There's a wound in you, and the tables, the dice, the cards--they feel like medicine. They soothe you, put you right for a time. But they're poison, Jesper. Every time you play, you take another sip.

Nina was definitely one of my favorite characters to see grow. The creativity that was put into her powers was amazing and she was just such a badass. She could literally raise fuckers from the DEAD????? That shit made me lose my mind like how powerful can she GET. She was definitely an awesome character and I really wished we got some more on her powers and her story after they got their money.

She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown.

Wylan...sweet Wylan. I love him so much it hurts. He was such an entertaining character and his courage was awesome, he really stood out from the rest of the characters because of how different he was from all of them. He also admired all of the crows and was treated like a little brother by all of them which was so cute. The character development went from "Why am I here?" to "How can I help?" and I loved seeing him become a part of the crows. Also in that last scene where he's just leaning against the wall, beat the fuck up, was so good SAINTS.

Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, the will he'd learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kaz the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope, he'd learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win.

But they were his first friends, his only friends, and Wylan knew that even if he’d had his pick of a thousand companions, these would have been the people he chose.

Matthias back with his long ass chapters (until chapter 40 LOL) (i'm so sorry that was outta pocket). Anyway, I still had meh feelings for him but I loved him and Nina's relationship. Yes, I shed a few tears when he died that shit hurt come on now. I did like to see his protective side and him overcoming his fears and past beliefs. The character development in him was immaculate.

He was on the ice once more, and somewhere he could hear the wolves howling. But this time, he knew they were welcoming him home.

The Ships

Kanej: cries. literally in tears. bawling my eyes out. throughout the entire book. THEY HELD HANDSSSSSS, HE OPENED UP TO HERRRRR, THE SHIPPPP AND THE PARENTSSSSSSSS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY HEARTTTTTT

I would come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together--knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.

Wesper: adorable adorable adorable. my favorite gay mfs in the world. Jesper is such a fucking flirt though he had ME blushing. Also when Jesper kissed Kuwei HAHAHA WHATTT, the way Kuwei was like 😏 had me gone. Anyway, the chemistry between these two was something else (so much better than in the first book) and the ending with them was wholesome I'm so happy they got the happy ending.

Wylan shrugged. “Maybe. Not all poisons have an antidote.” Jesper snorted. “That’s why we call him Wylan Van Sunshine.”

This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. It was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart—or was it Wylan’s?—like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh. (<3)

Helnik: cries. again. sobs. This one hurt me so bad, I literally was just sitting in my bed staring at the wall, book in hand, crying. They had such a beautiful relationship and they grew so much together it HURT. The way Matthias was so protective of Nina and was always worrying about her. They planned their future together in their heads all the time. They were SO HAPPY WHY COULDN"T THEY JUST BE HAPPY.

They deserved the world.

I will always protect you, even in death, I will find a way.

You aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the wood blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You are a stampede. You are overwhelming.

Final Thoughts:

My final thoughts are scattered throughout the review, but overall this book took everything from Six of Crows and made it better. It broke me, made me laugh, had me angry as fuck, but it also left me feeling like I knew these characters and they knew me. It really was so much better than the first book in so many different levels and I will never get over this book. Truly better than waffles.

[firelxdykatara]

kitty i can't wait for your thoughts of Shadow and Bone asdfasfaw

Ok well I just finished and I have so many fucking thoughts. Most good! Some, less so. Part of it may just be my bias because I’ve only read the Six of Crows duology and have little interest in actually reading the original trilogy, because I know how it ends and Leigh clearly hates me personally and doesn’t want me to be happy (/j), so I was already predisposed to be far more invested in the Crows and Darkling/Darklina segments (genuinely, the Mal/Malina scenes/storyline bored me to tears, and while I appreciate that the show went out of its way to change Mal’s character to make him much less of a toxic douchebag [I’ve read enough excerpts and explanations of his actions in the books to really loathe book!Malina], it isn’t enough to make me ship them when Darklina is right there), but I also don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the Crows absolutely stole the show.

It’s actually kind of funny, because I’d assumed they were only being so heavily marketed to hype the show up even more, since while there’s a lot of TGT/SoC fandom overlap they are also two fundamentally different genres and I’d wager there are a lot of people who are massive fans of one but not so enthused with the other, while remaining fairly insignificant to the overall plot. Turns out, they make up fully half of the show’s runtime (much to my delight). Which is part of what I think will help this series stand on its own, both as a book adaptation and simply as a fantasy TV series.

I’ll put more of my story-specific thoughts under a cut, so there’s lots of show spoilers to follow!

I know that a lot of early reviewers were saying that Alina’s motivations and storyline revolved too much around Mal, and that really held true for me. It made sense in the beginning--he was the only constant in her life, she was thrust into something new, terrifying, and completely unfamiliar, and they’d developed an unhealthy codependence as a coping mechanism for their childhoods and the traumas they faced, the lives they lead growing up in a war-torn country. But she started coming into her power, falling for the General--not just his power and charisma, but what she felt when she was with him. The way he helped her summon the sun, the way she felt free in a way she never had before.

Until it all went to shit--but the Darklina make-out scene in episode 5? Fucking iconic. Poetic fucking cinema. The way they were quite literally about to have sex on that wartable (and someone better write fic of that moment, what if they hadn’t gotten interrupted), and the General left, but then he ran back just to kiss her one more time... this is what OTPs are made of ok.

I think what really bothers me overall is that Alina ultimately lacked agency in her one storyline, pretty much the entire way through. She did make a few choices, but they were mostly incidental, and a lot of it was Alina desperately trying to get back to Mal rather than seizing her own power and destiny and running with it. The most prominent example is the end of episode 5--Alina is having happy make-outs and almost bones the General in his own war room, and then he leaves, and Baghra comes in and infodumps to her about how evil he is and how he’s only using her and she needs to escape.

I recognize that a lot of this is probably because that’s essentially what happened in the book and Leigh is an executive producer for the show so she has a lot of shot-calling power. However, I really think that even in the book this plotline would’ve been better-served by having Alina make these discoveries on her own.

For example, imagine that the letters which were used as framing devices for episodes 2 and 3 were vitally important to the plot, rather than being one-offs that are mentioned a few times but not really affecting much of anything. Alina begins to get suspicious when she doesn’t receive word from Mal, and she starts wondering if her letters are even reaching him--so she starts snooping. She finds ashes in the war room hearth, late at night,, and recognizes a fragment of Mal’s signature and larger piece of her own. She now knows that someone--possibly the General, but maybe that creepy priest guy, or someone else in the palace--is keeping her and Mal from contacting one another. So she starts snooping around even more. She asks the General leading questions, trying to figure out what the truth is of his intentions. She still feels this pull--this connection to him, and she hopes she’s wrong, but she’s not willing to just sit around and wait for the other shoe to drop.

The Winter Fete still happens, she still gets the hot make-out session with the General, and then when he’s called away, she snoops through his papers, looking for anything that can tell her the truth. She finds a hidden compartment filled with journals.

She reads about Aleksander’s past (and, incidentally, wasn’t that supposed to be a huge moment in the books, him revealing his true name to her in private? kinda wish it had been kept that way in the show but who knows where they’ll go with it in the future)--that leads to the flashbacks in episode 6. She feels for him, but she also reads further--she gets a firsthand look at his desire for power, something that began as a noble desire to save his people, but was twisted by a lust for vengeance (for his lost love and all the Grisha who were killed) and shot through with greed, the realization that if he found the Sun Summoner he could control the Fold, rather than just destroy it. He could create a new world where Grisha could live without fear--where Grisha could rule.

Alina is terrified. Whoever the General used to be--whatever humanity she saw flickering in his eyes, the way his heart fluttered when they kissed--she can’t trust that it’ll be enough to save her from plans centuries in the making. So she goes to Baghra, the woman who helped her discover her power, learn to channel it--the woman who always seemed to know much more than she ever let on. Baghra gives her side of the story--Alina got it from the General’s perspective first, now Baghra is telling her something framed much differently. She isn’t sure what or who to trust, but she knows that Baghra seems willing to help her escape--but rather than trusting her ‘loyal Grisha’, she makes the choice she made in the show, to choose the other path, and winds up with the Crows.

Idk how Mal and the Stag thing would fit into this (if it isn’t obvious by now, Mal just... doesn’t interest me), but Alina’s story and her character arc would be so much stronger for it. And she’s supposed to be the central character, so her story being weak and her agency so frequently being compromised ultimately hurts the show as a whole.

I know I’ve gone on and on about Alina and the Darkling (look, I’m a slut for enemies-to-lovers, and also lovers-to-enemies-and-back, so Darklina and Helnik are where so much of my investment is rooted--plus Kanej, but that almost goes without saying), but the true standouts of the series were the Crows. Inej, Kaz, and Jesper, and Nina and Matthias in their episodes, stole the show (along with the Darkling, Ben is far and away the best actor in the cast and I love that for him, but Freddy, Amita, and Kit are also amazing, and Danielle&Calahan were fucking phenomenal as Nina and Matthias--I do have to say, though, that the whole cast is really solid and has amazing chemistry).

They worked together so perfectly--Freddy and Amita communicated so much with their eyes alone, especially together, and a whole lot of their relationship dynamic is rooted in how they exist together, which really came through. The show altered the Crows timeline considerably (I’m pretty sure Kaz would’ve been 14 during the original trilogy lol), so Inej is still at the Menagerie, but things like Kaz putting up the Crow Club for Inej’s freedom, the way Kaz needed her but could never bring himself to say it (until the end of the season dklhfgdkjfgh i SCREAMED)--the way Jesper played off the both of them, and it’s so obvious they all love each other even though they’re criminals and thieves and murderers, and Kaz would never admit it (out loud--which actually feeds into my theory that his love language is acts of service; Kaz does things for the people he cares about, he never announces it and he will almost always try to downplay it, but the way you know he cares is if, for example, he puts his entire life, everything he built, up as collateral for your freedom), but they’re a family.

One thing that I was kind of iffy about was Inej’s refusal to kill--but I thought it might be something they were planning to work into her overall character arc, and they did. It was the one line she hadn’t crossed--in the books, I’d imagine that it took a while for Inej to wind up at that point, being willing to kill on top of everything else. So I actually like that they worked that into the Crows plotline, and Inej killing for the first time was to save Kaz’s life.

Just like Kaz’s first selfless act was to save her.

(He’d deny it, of course. He protects his investments. He needed her for the job. But the truth is, he did it for her. And he’d do it again. Even if he’d never admit it.)

Meanwhile, Nina and Matthias’ storyline was pretty much note-for-note according to their backstory as it was revealed in Six of Crows, and I loved every second of it. Their chemistry was perfect, their journey from enemies to begrudging allies to friends to maybe something more (Matthias’ stomach cockblocking them when they were about to kiss had me fucking SCREAMING AT THE TV, and then of course the whole ‘betraying him to save him’ thing happened and I sobbed), and then suddenly right back to enemies.

Because from Matthias’ perspective, he trusted a witch--believed in her, liked her, wanted her--and she turned on him. He has no idea that she wasn’t the one who knocked him out in the first place, and no reason to believe her, because as far as he knows, she just confirmed everything he’d ever been told about Grisha. That they are deceitful and treacherous, would turn on you as soon as look at you, that they are dangerous and not to be trusted. It wasn’t revealed in-show but I imagine Matthias’ backstory is largely the same, which means that his entire family was slaughtered by Grisha when he was a young boy, and then he was turned into a brainwashed child soldier by the witch hunters and never knew anything else.

They are perfectly primed for their SoC arc next season and I, for one, am so stoked to see the rest of their journey. And if I slip Netflix a couple twenties, maybe they’ll let Helnik have a happy ending please please please.

Anyway, yeah! I have a lot of thoughts but things are still percolating in my head so I’ll probably float around the tags for a bit and let things settle. This is just a preliminary overview of my thoughts in the immediate aftermath of bingeing the entire show in one night kldfjghdkjfhgkjgf

EDIT TO ADD: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THE TRUE STAR OF THE SHOW, M I L O

MILO BEST BOY. MILO THE MVP. MILO DESERVES ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD AND I HOPE HE LIVES A HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND FULL LITTLE GOAT LIFE.

[qqueenofhades]

Helnik 81 + 84 together or separately, as you see fit ✨

Anonymous asked: Angst/fluff prompt #83 for Helnik? Pretty please?

81. “It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

83. “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

84. “Going somewhere?”

Nina hoped that the storm would have broken by now. Instead it hasn't, whining and lashing at the weathered sealskins of the whalers' hut and searching out every possible aperture to claw through, and if it goes on much longer, she's going to have to chop up the big Fjerdan idiot and eat him when the food runs out. Which she is wildly tempted to do anyway, but at least while they're stuck here, she can use him for body heat. Not that he can do that either without kicking up an ungodly fuss, but there you have it. Besides, at least he's company, of a tedious and terminally unintelligent sort. Not half bad to look at either. So long as he doesn't talk.

By the third day of their enforced intimacy, however, Nina has had altogether enough of his mumpish silences and priggish looks, and so -- against her better judgment -- she actually tries to bait him into a conversation. "What's your name, druskelle? Do you even have one?"

"Of course I have one." He glowers at her, which is his favored method of communicating. She can't believe she's going to freeze to death in the middle of nowhere with a moron. "Do you have one, witch?"

"Nina." It's late and dark and cold, and she feels a little reckless. More than a little, maybe, as she flounces toward him, making to sit on his lap, which is guaranteed to terrify him. "Nina Zenik."

He stares at her with the expression of a deer in the hunters' crosshairs. Nina debates whether to sit on his knee, but then that might actually kill him. Finally, in a growl, he says, "Matthias. Helvar."

Matthias Helvar. The name sounds chillingly familiar, though she can't place it, and it doesn't take any special detective work to know that he's one of the Grisha killers. Yet not bad-looking in the low, sputtering light of the tallow lamp, and as he gazes up at her with that hunter's focused intent, Nina feels a shiver not at all related to cold travel down her spine. She takes another step. "Ready to admit we're not so bad?"

His throat visibly moves as he swallows. He uses one finger to tug at the collar of his dirty black tunic, which isn't that tight. "No."

"Still stupid." Nina bends close, her mouth near his, sharing the dark, smoky air of this filthy hovel, as his big hands come up of their own volition and rest on her waist. "Aren't you?"

Matthias keeps staring at her. Now that she knows his name, she wants to use it, she wants to repeat it, but moving at all might recollect him to the fact that he is voluntarily touching her, and she doesn't want that to end. Then there's a distant crack somewhere out in the blowing gale, Matthias looks down at where his hands have ventured, and jerks back, blundering to his feet and almost cracking his skull on a whalebone. (Not that it could do him any damage, the dense-headed dimwit.) "I need," he announces. "To go. Hunting. For -- for food."

"Now?" Nina goggles at him. "It's a storm!"

"I know the ice." Matthias shoots her a cool blue gaze that should not make her stomach do the things it does. "And what's next? Eating each other, literally rather than figuratively?"

She snorts a reluctant laugh. "I've had the thought."

He gives her the side-eye, as this is guaranteed to do nothing to change his opinion of the evil cannibal Grisha witches or whatever it is, but doesn't argue. Instead, in his haste to get away, he starts toward the flap, until she clears her throat. "Going somewhere?"

"Yes. Hunting. As I said."

"In just your shirt and -- " Nina cocks her head -- "barely trousers?"

Matthias shoots her a dirty look. It's true that he is not wearing much, and he looks around in some consternation for his clothes. Nina goes to the wall and takes down one of the heavy, ambergris-stinking pelts. "It's cold," she says. "Take my fur, darling."

"Darling?"

Saints, she is going to murder this man. "Just. Take. It."

Matthias glowers at her, then wraps himself up. "Stay here," he orders, picking up a harpoon in his mittened hand, looking around for his flensing knife, and slamming it into the scabbard with a cool, brusque competence. "Until I get back. It's not safe out there for you."

"I didn't know you cared."

Matthias looks at her a little too long. "I don't," he says, a little too late and unconvincingly, as if trying to remind himself. "But you're still my prisoner, and that obliges me to act honorably toward you."

Honorably? Nina could rake him over the coals (if they had coals -- Saints, it's cold) but she doesn't. She truly does want him to come back, and not just so she doesn't have to gnaw the blubber off the last frozen seal corpse and break her teeth. When I'm with you, I'm happy.

What? No. No. Him? No. Definitely not.

No.

Maybe.

[lafiametta]

‘marriage' as helnik prompt, please? :)

Everyone Lives/Ketterdam AU, with some racier bits under the cut!

He stilled, breath reduced to shuddering pants, and then his head dropped along the crook of her shoulder, the rest of his body partially collapsing atop her. 

Nina held him close, listening as his heart slowed, her hand clasped against the damp back of his neck. For all his bulk, Matthias seemed small, soft and vulnerable in her arms, and at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to keep him safe, to protect him from whatever dangers might lie beyond the warm circle of her embrace. It felt strange—this deep bloom of tenderness—and a bit foolish, but she couldn’t help it. She would always be something of a fool where he was concerned. 

He began to shift his weight and then found the strength to roll over onto his back. Nina winced a little, feeling the soreness in her inner thighs where his hips had ground against her, and stretched her legs out, eventually turning onto her side to face him. 

She almost giggled; he looked thoroughly despoiled, hair sweaty and mussed, lips parted, his unfocused gaze directed up towards the ceiling in an expression of both satisfaction and bewilderment.

“Are you alright?” she asked. “I didn’t kill you, did I?”

She hadn’t begun the night intending to kill him—or even to despoil him, for that matter. 

It had been an evening like any other—a few drinks at the Crow Club, a late-night supper in their rooms—and they found themselves, as they often did, making use of the soft feather bed in a way that would guarantee them both a late start the next morning. All her teasing about ravishment aside, Matthias had grown increasingly comfortable in their bed as he learned more about her and about himself. Drüskelle saw the body as an instrument of power and control, and it had taken time to show him that it could also be a source of pleasure. 

She taught him first how to use his hands—those big hands, with their long fingers—and then his mouth, including lips and tongue and even teeth. Nina was no idle instructor; everything was a mixture of give and take, and she was just as happy to demonstrate on him as she was to let him practice on her. She was honored that Matthias put his trust in her, following her without reservation, and there was nothing quite like watching a very large Fjerdan come apart under her touch. 

She had shown him everything—well, almost everything. 

That, at least, she had been content to set aside, not knowing if it represented a line he did not want to cross—and besides, there were so many other very enjoyable things they could do that it seemed altogether silly to focus on just one particular act. Matthias himself had never indicated much interest in it.

Until tonight. 

Nina could tell there was something on his mind, for while he kissed her with enthusiasm, letting his hands roam hungrily over her and finally slip between her legs, he was quieter, some small part of him holding back. Even after he had finished, sliding up her pleasure-spent body as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, he wouldn’t fully meet her gaze. She had though it was shame at first—which seemed odd, considering all they had done—and only after some mild coaxing did she get him to explain what he wanted. 

“Are you sure?” she had asked him, just to be certain, and he had nodded, his blue eyes swimming with need and a hint of nerves. So she widened her legs and brought him closer, murmuring in his ear all the things he should do, just as she had done so many times before.

He had whispered her name at the end, breathed it against her skin like a prayer. Nina, Nina. The muscles in his arms trembled, and in response she had clutched at him, her thighs pressed tight along his waist. 

She hoped Matthias would not find cause to regret what they had done, as she knew some occasionally did. Looking at him now, though, he appeared more dazed than remorseful, his chest still rising and falling in an attempt to introduce air back into his lungs.

“No, you did not kill me, little witch,” he said, turning his head to meet her gaze. “But you came very close.”

Her lips pressed together into a gratified smile.

“Next time, then, I’ll be sure to do it properly.”

His eyes widened just a touch, even as his own lips began to curl up in amusement. “I have every faith that you will,” he conceded.

Reaching out, Matthias gathered her into his arms, letting her curl up against his side. She lay her head just above his heart, fingers idly tangling in the dark thicket of hair on his chest. It was remarkable how they fit like this, two mismatched pieces somehow making a whole. 

“In Fjerda, I would have had to marry you to do that,” he said, his voice spilling out into the quiet of the darkened room. 

“Is this your way of proposing?” she asked, mostly in jest.

“No.” He shrugged, but gently, as if not to disturb her. “I know you would not agree. Besides, I’m not certain that your order of doing things is not the right one. I might have easily gotten married to a Fjerdan girl, only to realize...” He paused, the words trailing off into silence.

Nina could feel her breath begin to quicken, even though she did not entirely know why. “Realize what?”

There was a moment’s pause—the slightest shiver of hesitation—and then with his free hand he reached over and set two fingers under her chin, lifting it so that they could meet eye-to-eye. 

“That she was not you.”

It was all too much for her, the way her heart was thrumming in her chest—and not nearly enough. So Nina did the only thing she knew would quiet it, the only thing that seemed to make any sense: she arched up and pressed her mouth to his, and to her delight she found him there, seemingly as breathless and needful as she. 

[send me a one-word Helnik prompt]

[trassellynn]

Rule of Wolves - Spoilers

My angry rant about a thing 

As I promised, here my very angry and sad rant about Nina's ending.

I would beg you not to make flames here or to send me hate messages, if you disagree and liked it, good for you, I'm not in the mental conditions to discuss, I just need to vent, because I loved Nina's character and I feel so bad for her. Now... I have no idea how can Bardugo consider that ending “happy” or even barely acceptable. First of all, I find it very rushed, shallow and unrealistic, it was obvious to me she had little time to finish the book and wanted to solve huge plots as soon as possible. Before talking about Nina, I'll spend two words about H (I don't want to use a deadname, but I don't know how to call him/them, if anyone knows please tell me). Now, if it wasn't clear enough, hating a ship doesn't mean hating the characters. I have nothing against H and I actually feel very sorry for him/they too. He/They (does anyone know the correct pronouns to use?) made a self-acceptance journey through the duology, but what that for, if now he/they cannot even be himself/themselves? He/They has/have been hiding his/their powers for years... now he/they must hide his/their whole identity? Hidden in the sunlight, pretending to be someone else? (I personally find this an unfair and insensitive treatment to the only transgender character of the series, a character that is also indigenous and now has the appearance of a white man, but being white and cisgender I don't know if I'm right to talk about this, I don’t want to risk to say something wrong or offensive). And about Nina... she's a character I shared a very special connection with. I never talk about it because it involves a very personal topic (non eating) that might make other people uncomfortable.  It broke my heart discovering what Bardugo did her. Like H, she's now trapped. My Nina, who was so free and confident, who loved Ravka, is now stuck forever in another person's identity, in another body, in a land that's not her home and she doesn't even like. I had no idea I could hate something more than CK ending, and yet, here we are. Thinking about Matthias' last words, “Be free”, I feel even worse (and don't let me start to angrily rant about Matthias' sh*tty ending, especially considering Brum is still alive). Royal court is a dangerous, horrible environment, especially in a land like Fjerda. It's not realistic Nina and H will, someday, be able to tell the truth without any consequences. I think the “happiness” at the end of the book is just a temporary illusion and that the whole situation will soon burden heavily on their psychology. Especially considering 1. both of them are very free spirits, I don't think they would enjoy life in a royal court; 2. I highly doubt they have the skills to rule a country. Basically, they're in a horrible mess and I can't understand how the author of SoC is the same person who started to make these lazy, rushed and unrealistic plot choices, without thinking to all the problematic consequences of them. (And can I also add I’m starting to see a pattern in Bardugo’s endings? 1. A couple with a (unnecessary) horrible ending (Nina/Matthias in CK, Genya/David in RoW). 2. A couple with a fake happy ending that hides many problems inside (Jesper/Wylan and Nina/H; we even have a sh*tty father who is still alive even though he doesn’t deserve it). 3. A couple (the author’s favourite, what a surprise) with a good, or at least decent, ending (Kaz/Inej and Zoya/Nikolai; we also have Kaz and Zoya on the land and Inej and Nikolai on the sea, lol)).  If I think Bardugo now wants to write SoC 3 I feel even worse. I never wanted it because Matthias won't be in, now I'm literally praying she'll never write it. I don't want other characters to be ruined or killed and tbh please, STOP WITH PLOTS AROUND THE DARKLING! He had his ending in the Trilogy, why is Bardugo constantly bringing him back? (Also, the Darkling yes but Matthias no, okay). I also have (not very good) theories about SoC 3, maybe I’ll write them in another post.  So, here my rant. As I said, I just needed to vent, not to argue or discuss. If you liked the ending, good for you, I can't tell the same for me and I know I will never change my mind about it. P.S.: Can I say I'm a bit tired of the constant use of tailoring ability as a plot device?

P.P.S.: There's actually someone who Bardugo hates more than Matthias and Helnik shippers, and that someone is Genya./Half joke. Half.

[herstroywritten]

Magix Inn: One bed, one shirt, two idiots in love

OK. Confession time: I LOOOVE tropes. All of them. The oh I’m so cold and I don't have a jacket, so you gave me yours. Oh no, we’re paired together and I don’t like that. Oh look, we have to stay in this hotel together and (*cure shocked face*) there’s only one bed! All of it. Like, ALL of it. And when it’s done well... Ughhh, my heart can barely stand it. (If you want an A+++ example of it, go ahead and read Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo and watch the new Shadow and Bone adaptation on Nextflix. Helnik serves all the tropes in all the best ways.) Anyways, my point is that that’s all this is, and I am fully aware of that. I needed more of these tropes with Rivusa, so here we are. Enjoy.

She's going to kill them. Every single one of them. And she was going to make it as painful and slow and agonizing as she could. Now that she knew how to extract mind control, she figured she could easily learn how to enact it. She would learn to do it overnight. She would! And she would most definitely use it on every single one of her suitemates, no moral obligations holding her back. In fact, she was doing them a favor by not opting to do it with her knives, the ones she'd begun training with a month ago or so. She was going to do it, no hesitation- 

"You can take the bed."

Riven's words snapped her out of her fantasies. She forced herself to finally turn and stare at him. He was already standing in the middle of the room they had been assigned. The room that had a single king sized bed in the middle of it. There was a small window on each side of the head board, with thick tattered curtains covering the view of the barren land outside. A couch was positioned to the right of the bed, a door stood just a few feet above it. There was no dresser in the room, no closet. 

Not exactly a five star hotel, she thought to herself. But then again, they were in hiding from a psychopath who thought herself to be the future ruler of the world, not on vacation. The cracks on the walls and the dust that could be seen covering every surface fit the murderous mood of their escape so much more than a nice cozy bedroom. 

Musa wondered how Stella was holding up. Bitterly, she hoped that she was hating it. Served her right for leaping at the chance to spend the night with her ex-bodyguard instead of opting to share with one of the girls. 

It had been a long night of traveling and by the time Dowling, Silva, and Harvey had finally located their destination, the whole group was practically a squad of walking zombies struggling to maintain awareness long enough to not fall asleep while standing up. After escaping Alfea, they had trekked through the woods continuously for 36 hours straight, needing to get as far away from the school as possible without using magic for fear of giving away their plan. 

Their little group had been led by Professor Harvey, who somehow knew exactly where they were headed without using a map to navigate through the veils of greenery that they had bypassed. How, Musa wasn't sure. It all looked the same to her, and quite frankly after a while she seriously considered the possibility that they were just walking in circles. Sam and Terra had followed behind their father, pointing out harmful weeds to avoid touching or stepping on for the rest of the group. The rest of the girls had followed their orders, Bloom and Sky leading the charge, then Brandon and Stella, Aisha, Musa, and Riven. Dowling and Silva followed a few feet behind, making sure that no one was following them as they went. Needless to say, the journey had been endless and there seemed to be no end in sight. The students had been unsure of where they were headed, as the professors had refused to divulge any sort of extra information unless it was explicitly necessary.

In the end, they had walked out of the woods and into an abandoned city. White bricks and cracked cement littered the ground that they passed through, exerting great effort to not step on any broken shards of glass and cut themselves. 

"Aster Dell" Bloom had whispered when she had seen the jagged outline of the town. Professor Harvey had nodded his head at her words, verifying their truth, and that had been that. No one spoke and no one asked the millions of questions that swarmed their minds. How were they able to see this place? Wasn't Queen Luna supposed to have it covered up? Why were they even here? Wasn't this a little too obvious of a hideout? Musa's curiously was running high, but her desire to just sleep was even greater so she had just followed right along as the professor led them through winding streets and in front of a rundown building that seemed to barely be holding onto its hinges.

Dowling had broken the silence, "Welcome to Magix Inn, or what's left of it. We'll make camp in here for the night."

Turns out Magix Inn was just that, and inn. And a tiny one at that, just ten boarding rooms to offer. Each boasted a king sized bed and minimal furniture. Unfortunately, the four rooms located on the south side of the building had been completely destroyed in the wreckage, so they were left with six to pick from. Dowling and Silva had taken the one at the very beginning of the eastern hallway, for security measures. For that same purpose, Professor Harvey had taken the one at the very end of the corridor, and Sam joined him. Sky had insisted he stay with Bloom for the night, attached to her as he had been for the last 36 hours, fearing that she would lose control of her magic again. No one bothered to mention that there was nothing he could really do if that happened again, they just let the couple slip into the room diagonal from Dowling and Silva's. Their door had barely closed before Stella had basically dragged Brandon into the room next to theirs, shouting over her shoulder "Good night everyone!" That left Aisha, Terra, Musa, and Riven. And two rooms. There had been an awkward silence, during which the girls looked back and forth between the three of them, daring each other to make the first move. When Aisha scooted slightly closer to Terra, Musa knew she was about to lose. Frustrated, angry, and just plain tired, she'd huffed and spun around to face the devil himself.

"Well, would you look at that?" Riven's grin was basically a smirk as he cocked his eyebrows in her direction, eyes roaming up and down the whole of her, his usual form of acknowledgement when it came to her. "Looks like we're playing roomies for the night." For some reason, he did not sound very disappointed at that idea. 

"Not another word," Musa had growled at him, before making her way to the room second to last from the end of the hallway. In any other scenario, she would be happy that he was choosing to speak to her again but right now she couldn't be bothered.

And now, here they were. In a room. Alone. With one bed. Two sets of curtains. A couch that was definitely too small for either of them to sleep in comfortably. One door that led to the bathroom. Oh, and did she mention the one bed? 

She finally stepped away from the doorway, letting the heavy wooden door lock behind her. As she crossed the room and headed for the bed, she couldn’t help but notice the dust that kicked up at her feet as she walked on the oriental rug that had to have existed for at least 16 years and who knows how much longer before then. The idea of sleeping here was almost revolting, but at this point she would give anything for a place to lay down, so whatever. They'd fought monsters and survived, they could outlive a bit of dust. What she might not be able to outlive, however, was sharing a room with the specialist standing behind her.

She dropped her backpack on the bed, choosing to ignore the dust that resurfaced with the motion, and turned to face him. 

"Yeah, no. As much as I would love to watch you try to squeeze into that tiny little couch, it would be extremely cruel of me to make you do that after a day and a half of constant walking. Plus, it's a king sized bed. I don’t need all of it. We'll just share." She hoped that came out as causal as it sounded in her head.

Riven's smirk, the one that hadn't left his face since the sleeping arrangements had been decided, grew even wider at her words. "I suppose, if you insist. An Alfea gentleman would never ignore a lady's wishes, after all." 

She scoffs at him. "I doubt you would count among the gentlemen of Alfea."

"Oh, I don't know. I've been told I have a way of outdoing myself when it comes to ladies' requests. Especially in the bedroom." He's eyeing her from the corner of his sightline as he makes for the bed, dropping his own bag diagonally from hers. She's suddenly flushed, from anger or blushing she's not sure. But she's not about to give him any ideas.

"We are not, I repeat NOT, completing any sort of requests tonight." She narrows her eyes at him, her voice strong and unwavering. It surprises her, the sheer strength behind those words because honestly it's the opposite of what she wants to say. The opposite of what she wants to do.

"Whatever you say." His statement is short, filled with hidden messages. He shuffles through his bag as she shuffles through her thoughts, watching him and biting her tongue so that all her questions don't come tumbling out. 

He heads for the bathroom, and once she hears the door close, she pulls out her phone.

"Hello!" Aisha's voice is all cheer and chuckle on the other side of the line. Musa thinks she can hear Terra's giggle in the background, too. 

"I'll kill you." Musa's reply is a lot less cheery and a lot more lethal.

"Oh, come on!" It's Terra's voice this time. "We're practically doing you a favor. You should be thanking us."

"I'll kill you. All of you." She repeats it, just to make sure they're really catching it.

"Musa, love, you know this has to happened at some point." Aisha's words are calm. "We're headed into a war. We're running away from school. We're going to have a lot more shit to deal with in a couple of hours, and you're still not in the right mindset for all of it. You’re in a completely different world. If you're so worried about it, just ask him. Better yet, just tell him."

"I don't know what you're talking about, " Musa mumbles angerly.

The sighs that she hears from the other side of the conversation tell her just how little Aisha and Terra believe her. It's silent for a second, and Musa can just feel the two girls going back and forth on who's turn it is to confront her. Terra's sweet voice comes through the phone after a few seconds, "Musa, we're not going to tell you what to do. It's not our place. But we will tell you what we see, because you're our friend and we love you and want you to be happy-"

"Terra, we're heading for a war. There is no happy in war." Musa's voice is monotone. 

"Musa," her name is a warning on Terra's lips, a sign that she's used this excuse before and it hasn't worked. "Look, I know you like him. I know it's weird between you two. You had to go digging into his brain to break him out of a spell and he didn't appreciate that, but quite frankly, I don’t think he appreciated being Beatrix's little pet and Rosalind's spy either. So he can be bitter and mad about it all he wants, you did what you had to do to save his ass and ours."

"That's the problem though. He's no longer mad about it. At least, I don’t think he is. He's talking to me. Like, now that we’re in the room. He hadn't even looked at me since the I broke that stupid spell…" Her voice drops at that last sentence. 

"That's good. Right?" Aisha's voice is a mix of encouragement and confusion. 

"Since when are you in on this, Aisha? I thought you hated the guy?" Now Musa's just curious. How did they even get into this situation in the first place? How did she get here, sharing a room with a boy that has one too many demons on his shoulders and whom she's embarrassingly crushing on?

Aisha's reply is quick and defensive. "Oh, I still do. But, he's still Sky's bff or whatever and he's still your…" There's a pause that follows that particular thought and Musa takes the time to wonder how Aisha is going to finish that sentence.  "You know what, I don't really know what he is. But he helped you train and you two had something going before, well, before he started disappearing to go do Rosalind's dirty business. Plus, for some unknown, godforsaken season, you're into him. As your friend and roommate, I feel the need to support all your dumb choices, within reason of course. So, yeah. I guess I'm in on whatever this is too."

"You sound like Stella." Musa's mouth quirks into a smirk as she picks up Aisha's groan from across the line.

"Don't remind me. Pretty soon, I'll start swooning over ex-bodyguard-turned-teammate Brandon too." They all get a laugh out of that line.

"God, I'd pay to see that. Poor guy has his work cut out for him, I wonder what they're doing right now." Terra's inquiry needs no answer, but Musa feels the need to comment on the situation at hand. 

"I can't believe she did that! She just left us! You know what, she's the first one I'm killing. You two can pick between second and third place."

Aisha chuckles at her words before a yawn overtakes her and she replies, "Alrighty, it's bed time. We've got a long day tomorrow. And, Musa, just do it. Just talk it out and get it off your chest. You don't want to leave things unsaid, not when we don't know what tomorrow brings. You've already played that game before and it was not fun." Aisha's right, of course. Musa has played that game before.

Right before Riven disappeared, they had been training together for a while, which had somehow turned into them having lunch together on the daily, which had then turned into secret meetings at night in the greenhouse. They'd both needed some alone time, to catch their breath and just marvel at their messed up lives and all the fucked up shit that was going on. And for some reason, his little quips and their constant banter had become her new safety net, a web of comfort and solace, something she hadn't had since Sam and her started drifting apart. But unlike Sam, who was all calming waters and steady footing on a gentle boat, Riven had been all of the tumultuous oceans in the worst of weathers. She never really found her footing in the storm that was Riven and his thoughts, and that had brought her a comfort like no other. In a world where all they had was scheduled to the minute thanks to Rosalind's insane regime, his inconsistent thoughts had drawn her in. She'd wanted to break him open, tuck herself into the blanket that was his mind, and lay there until his emotions numbed both her and him. And, then, somewhere between aching to be numb and heavy innuendos, she had found herself staring at him more often than she should and thinking about him in ways she knew would do her no favors if she let them continue. But, she let them continue. And pretty soon, his loud emotions weren't just comfort and she didn't just want to drown in them. No, at that point, she had wanted to dive deeper into them so that she might try and shift through them. Try to untangle his deepest fears and settle them. To mold her own pain into the shapes that formed the cracks of his heart, so that she could somehow fit him and be a comfort for him in the same way he was for her. She'd wanted it so bad. So, so very bad. And she'd almost said so, too. Too bad Rosalind had chosen that day to start using the spell she had placed on him months before.

Aisha's voice pulls Musa away from her own thoughts. "Hey, Musa? You still there?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. Just dozing off a bit, it's been a long day."

"Ugh, tell me about it. Look, if you two won't talk it out for yourselves, do it for us. We're all on edge with all the sexual tension that's coming off of you two."

"Aisha!" Terra's voice sounds horrified. "Actually, she's not wrong. As Stella so kindly suggested, you two might want to just fuck it out. See if that helps break the ice."

It's Musa's turn to be horrified now. "Terra! You did not just say that! And we are NOT fucking anything out!" 

Her friends, however, don't give her the satisfaction of listening to her defense. "Goodnight Musa!" And with that the phone call ends and she's left listening to silence and feeling even more agitated than she did when she first called them. She screams and throws her phone across the bed, watching as it haphazardly hangs from the corner of the white duvet. 

"Now what's all this about fucking?" Riven's voice nearly sends her digging her own grave. Great. Just great. Of course he chooses now to make his way back into the room.

"Nothing." Her rely drips in venom as she makes a point to angerly dig into her bag and pull out her toiletries. She pushes past him and into the bathroom before he gets the chance to question her again. She worked quickly to strip herself of the heavy layers she had on, and into a long white t-shirt that she often wears to bed. She had forgotten to pack a pair of shorts, as she usually just took them off and slept in her underwear. For a second she considered wearing jeans to bed, but she decided she wasn't about to sweat to death for Riven's sake. He'd seen naked girls before. Plus, if it wasn't jeopardizing her modesty, she doubted it was harming his innocence.

When she came out, however, she started to question her decision. The second she stepped out of the bathroom, Riven's voice greeted her.

"So, now that you're done hiding," he started, scrolling through his phone in nothing but a set of sweatpants. "Do feel free to explain to me who's fucking who, besides Brandon and Stella." He'd looked up then, and that had been their demise. His eyes had gone to her face first, but she'd watched as they moved downward in a slow motion, as if he was committing every bit of her body to memory.  She understood now why girls raved about him, because if he gave them all that look… well, Musa supposes they would all feel exactly how she is feeling right about now. 

Oh, for god's sake. Why her? 

She waits for the comment she knows is coming.

"Please tell me you're not planning on sleeping in that." Well, that's not what she expected.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow at him.

"You need to put on something else if we're really not completing any requests tonight." He's still staring at her legs as she chokes a laugh at him and makes her way to her side of the bed.

"Get your head out of the getter, idiot. I can sleep in whatever I want and you can handle yourself. You'll be fine." 

"I know you can sleep in whatever you want. Me controlling myself, that's where our issues start, love. You have a little too much faith in me." He catches her eyes and quirks an eyebrow her way as she shuffles to unhook her bra from behind and slips it off under the shirt she's wearing before throwing it on top of her other clothes. "For fuck's sake, are you serious right now?!" Honestly, she was going to keep the bra on before she saw his reaction to her bare legs, but at this point they’re so far in over their heads that she might as well pull out all the stops. His continuous reactions are just icing on top of the cake.

"Oh, absolutely." She's smirking at him, eyes dancing with mischief as he stares at her full of lust. She laughs as she tucks herself into the covers. "Relax, I'll keep my underwear on." His face is heating up, frustration evident in the line between his brows and she longs to reach over the expanse of the duvet and press her thumb to the space between his eyebrows and smooth it out. She doesn't. 

"This isn't fair," he protests.

"Says the guy who's shirtless right now," comes her reply.

"That's not the same thing and you know it." His voice is strained and she's eager to see when it'll snap, when one of them will finally just admit defeat.

"Isn't it? The feminist in me disagrees."

"Don't. Don't you dare take that stupid shirt off." His hands are shaking as he points a warning finger her way, and she laughs. She's enjoying this way too much. But she knows if she keeps it up, he'll keep true to his word and she won't push him away, and frankly that thought should scare her. Instead, she finds herself wondering how many buttons she can push before he caves.

"Turn off the lights and come to bed Riven." Her voice is light now, no longer teasing. He watches her snuggle further into the covers, eyebrows still furrowed at her and she can practically hear the turmoil in his mind. "Ugh, honestly, calm the fuck down. Your emotions are so intense right now, it's hurting my brain. I promise I'll keep the shirt on. Now, come on. Come to bed."

He mumbles something about staying out of his mind, but he closes the small lamp by his bedside and crawls into bed beside her. Well, calling it beside her is a bit of a stretch as he's practically at the edge of the huge bed. She huffs at his child-like manner and rolls her eyes at him.

"Seriously, Riven? I thought you'd be jumping at the chance to get a girl into bed and here you are avoiding me like the plague. You know I don't bite, right?"

"Whatever," he mumbles. She finally turns to face him, reaches her arms across the mattress and digs her fingers into the waistband of his sweats, tugging him closer to the center of the bed. He jumps at the feel of her hands on his bare stomach, his breath catching at this throat as they now stand face to face and mere inches away from each other. She watching his eyes as they take her in, and she's vaguely aware of the fact that this is too intimate. This moment is exactly what she was trying to avoid, but she can't bring herself to care. So, instead she takes this time to study the green of his eyes. In the dark, they're illuminated by the thin sliver of moonlight the peeks from between the curtains of the window on her side of the bed. They're dilated, more black than green, but she can just make out the color around the edges or his iris. Hazel on the inside, and impossibly green on the outside ridges. She remembers when she was younger, she'd once told her mother that she wanted interesting eyes, by which she meant she wanted blue or green eyes. Something other than her brown orbs. In a way, she was vainly excited when her powers had come in and her eyes started to glow lavender and purple. How naïve she had been, how stupid. She knows now, looking into Riven's eyes, that interesting eyes had no color attached to them. Interesting eyes were ones that held stories, emotions. And Riven's eyes held so many stories, and so many emotions. They gave him away, at least to her they did. She swears that even without her powers, she would be able to feel the pain, the hurt, the mischief, and (right now) the undeniable want by just looking into his eyes. The want is especially pungent. She hopes he can see the want in her eyes too. She bitterly thinks to herself that her girls are right, the two of them are hopeless. They've been cascading through this thing between them, her and Riven, and after she broke his mind control, he'd refused to look her in the eye, let alone talk to her. 

They stand face to face with each other for a while, before she finally ducks her head below his chin and tucks herself against his collarbone. She feels him tense below her (feels her own breath catch, fearing that he'll push her off) before he relaxes a little and his breathing slows down. She listens to his heart beating beneath her, and the pounding of it against her ear lulls her mind into a peaceful state. Once she feels like she can finally breathe normally again, she works up the nerve to ask him the questions she's been meaning to ask for about two days now. 

"Are you angry?"

He pulls away from her, just enough to look down at her. But she won't look at him. Instead, she traces his collarbone with the tips of her fingers, burning holes into it with the intensity of her gaze. 

"Angry?" He sounds genuinely surprised. 

"Yeah," her reply comes in a whisper. Tears are welling in her eyes, but she refuses to let them slip as she continues to bore into his skin. 

"Why would I be angry?" 

"Don't." She doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want to be sorry for what she did, because she's not. She's not.

"Don't what?"

"Don't make me say it." It's a whimper this time, her voice threatening to crack along with her heart.

"Musa," he lifts her chin up. "What is going on? Why would I be angry at you?" She stares into his eyes again and curses the gods above for making her do this.

"Because I had to go into your mind. I had to dig around and manipulate it. I know you've never liked that about my powers. I know that it's no better than what Rosalind and Beatrix did to you. I know that, but I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry, Riven." She says it as though she's trying to convince herself. A deep breath, and then she's talking again. "I'm not sorry because it freed you. So, I'm not sorry about my powers or about what I did." She notices the line between his brows growing more and more as she speaks, and this time she does reach across the space between them and smooth it out with the pad of her fingertip.

She's not expecting an answer, but she was hoping for one. And as the silence between them grows, she figures she has overstayed her welcome. 

As she moves away from him, his arms snap into motion. They wrap around her waist, pulling her back into him. She squeezes her eyes shut as his scent engulfs her once again. 

"I'm not angry." His words, mumbled against her hair, are the final straw. Her tears come ripping through her body, unwelcome but inevitable. She hates this, hates crying. She's not a quiet crier. When she cries, her whole body cries with her. She shakes, she hiccups, and her breathing speeds up. There's no way he doesn't feel it. 

"Musa, really, I'm not angry. And hey," he's pulling away again, gently pushing her back so he can look at her face when he says the next words. "For the record, you are NOTHING like them. Nothing. Do you hear me?" She hiccups and looks down. "You're not. I swear to you, Musa. You're not. And, just so you know, I don't hate your powers. Never have, never will." 

"But you said-"

"I know what I've said. It wasn't because I hate you, it was because I hate my own mind." He pauses, looks away from her as if trying to work up the courage to continue. "Sometimes…  a lot of the time… I can't stand myself. What I hated was the idea of anyone, especially you, seeing all my bad parts. And fuck, Musa, there are so many shitty parts of me. So, so many. I mean, I've been helping Rosalind execute a war for months. Fuck." He chuckles a laugh with no humor behind it, looks up to the ceiling. "Fuck. I'm so fucking broken, Musa. And the idea that you felt that. God, I don't know…"

She watches him struggle, feels his inner turmoil. She finds herself wanting to sort out his feelings for him, mend his aches.

"Is that why you keep pulling away? From me, I mean?" She needs to know. She can't be imagining this thing between them, can't be the only one with her heart on the line right now. He moves so that he's looking at her again, but doesn't answer her right away.

"You're good, Musa. You're so fucking good. Nothing about you is bad. You're good, and you're smart, and you're fucking gorgeous." She feels her heart flutter at his words, her hopes taking flight and jumping to the sky. She wants to scream with joy, wants to kiss him. But his words are laced with a treacherous kind of tone, she can feel the desperation in him, and just as quickly as her excitement came, it leaves.

"I can't do this, Musa. I can't do it. Not to you. You deserve better than this." He's pulling away, and her heart is sinking.

"Better than what?" She sits up as he gets out of the bed. He walks to the end of the bed, looks at the door that leads to the hallway. She can feel him pulling away, wanting to leave.

"Better than what, Riven?" She's louder this time, angry that he's pulling away again after all she's told him.

"Me!" The intensity of his voice causes her to jump back. "Ok? Better than me!" His body is shaking, and so is hers. Because honestly, how dare he?

"And who are you to decide what I deserve?"

"Fuck, Musa. We're not doing this. We're not playing at this game." She feels like she's being scolded, as though she's a child he's refusing to answer to. 

"You don’t get to decide what I deserve, Riven. And you sure as hell don't get to decide what I want-"

"And what do you want, Musa?" His words stop her. "What do you want? Because I have been racking my brain for so fucking long trying to figure out what it is you want. And as much as I think I have you figured out, I can't possibly be right."

She runs the question through her mind a couple of times, questioning how to answer him. She's tired of lying. Tired of wanting him when he's scared to want her back, of constantly being on edge around him. So she decides she might as well tell him. "You. I want you."

"No, you don’t." Fuck him.

"Yes, I do!" She's angry now.

"No."

"Yes!"

"Musa, no."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Are we really doing this right now? Are we arguing about this like middle schoolers? You asked what I want. And I want you!"

"No, Musa, you don't."

"Why is it so fucking hard for you to accept it?! I want you and that's the end of it." She getting angrier as they keep going, and it furthers her anger that he's so calm about it. 

"You can't want me, Muse. You can't." The despair that she feels from him is intense and it, along with his nickname for her, knocks the breath out of her.

"What do you mean I can't want you?" She's trying to keep her voice down, fully aware of the thin walls and the fact that everyone else is probably asleep by now.

"Just… I'm not good. Not in the way the rest of you are. I'm a walking mess and I can't do anything without fucking it up." His voice is small and Musa can see the broken boy behind the persona he's managed to construct for himself.

"But I do, Riven."

"Why?" A broken question. 

She mulls it over in her head, chuckling. "Because, Riv, you've never been able to walk away from me and I've never been able to let you. We play games, you and I." They do. They ring around the rosies, a pocket full of kisses just waiting to spill out of their carefully constructed gates. "We circle one another, Riv, until we're both dizzy with desire and want and fear and fatigue… but we never break the circle. We never stray off path. You lean forward and I lean in, ready to give you my all, and then you pull back. And then we go back to the circle." It's a long metaphor and honestly she's not exactly sure if she's getting her point across. He watches as she pushes herself to her knees on the bed, shuffling closer to him with every word. 

"The circle is our game, Riven. You run, I chase. I run, you chase." She reaches for his hand. "I've never wanted to lose a game so badly." His eyes are on her as she pulls him back onto the bed. She leans in slowly, making sure that she maintains eye contact with him the whole time. She wants him to know she means it, all of it. She's not going anywhere. Her fingertips trace their way up his stomach, chest, neck, winding into his hair. They're millimeters away, noses pressed against each other, breaths mingling.

"Your move, Riv." And she feels her words break his concentration, just as his hands snap up to her body. It’s a quick movement, but his hands etch a trail of fire on her as the move roughly from her knees to the back of her thighs, up her back, and to the junction of her shoulders. When their lips finally meet, it’s anything but gentle. He bites at her lip, she gasps against him, and he takes the chance to tug on her bottom lip. She can't help the moan that leaves her, thoughts of the others already asleep leaving her mind as he does things with his tongue she didn't know were possible. He moves to her jaw, kissing his way downward as she cranes her neck back so that he has all the space he needs to do whatever he's planning on doing. She doesn't know what he's aiming for, but she knows what she wants him to do. She lets her hands fall to his pants, tugs them down. He moans against her collarbone and she swears she's going insane. She's burning but she's also shivering. She can't breathe and yet she feels like she's breathing for the first time in her life. 

"Shirt," she gasps. And then it's off of her, the one thing that he swore needed to stay on her if they were going to make it through the night. 

They spend the night doing everything they've avoided doing for months. He fills the silence with whispers of how gorgeous she is, and she feels her heart burst at its seams. They don't sleep, and she doesn't want to. This is better than sleep, she's never felt more awake than when he's tracing the lines of her body. 

He's resting on her chest, arms slung over her body as his fingertips play with the ends of her hair, when it hits her.

"I'm going to have to tell the girls that we did fuck it out." And as much as she hates the idea of her roommates being right, she thinks that maybe his laugh makes it all worth it.

[retvenkos]

There have been rumors that sab is going to include six of crows next season. Any thoughts?

whoo, do i have some thoughts™. 

i should preface by saying, though, that if you are excited, good for you! if you think it’s a concept™, it most certainly is, and if you don’t want to see hate for the idea, then do not read ahead. i have some things to say about the idea, and none are too positive.

let’s get into it...

lol, plenty of spoilers ahead. mostly for the six of crows duology.

✧ *:･ﾟ

first of all, let’s hit it from an obvious, show running perspective.

six of crows is a lot™. there is so much happening in that book, and even more happening in crooked kingdom. not only are there new characters to add and explore, but there is new lore and new places that would all have to be hit. already, i felt like shadow and bone season one went fast. there was a lot to establish, and even more to expand upon, and i think there is so much to cover that trying to squeeze it all in would be a disservice to the characters and the world, which is the exact opposite of what the showrunners want, since they are lining up the grishaverse to be the new fantasy hit.

especially when the shadow and bone trilogy is adding in new places and characters, i don’t see the need for them to shoehorn in the six of crows duology. i’m sure there’s plenty for the crows to do, during these following two seasons. in fact, i’d even be fine if they wrote the crows out of the third season (which would ideally follow ruin and rising) entirely and maybe threw in a cameo at the end to get viewers excited for a six of crows show.

basically, there’s so much to cover, and shadow and bone already hit the ground running. i think that adding in the six of crows story arc would be too much of a time crunch, on the runtime of the show.

✧ *:･ﾟ

secondly, i’m ranting about a couple of characters, and how they are not six of crows duology ready.

the easiest one to talk about is kaz brekker, because book!kaz is dirtyhands kaz. our first introduction to kaz in the boks is him telling an opposing gang member that he can’t kill kaz, because if he does, his girlfriend will burn in a fire, and no matter how fast he runs, he won’t get there in time. kaz is like... “do you smell that? i think it’s her hair burning.”

and this is a more mild transgression of dirtyhands kaz. in the same book, kaz pulls a man’s eye out, he swallows lock picks, and he plans and executes the greatest heist of all time.

compare this to kaz in the show. kaz in the show is just a mean, angry boy in comparison. and this isn’t me hating on freddie carter - he did an amazing job. and this isn’t me hating on the writers either. i understand why they did that.

decidedly, there is a lot™ happening in shadow and bone season one. you don’t really get a lot of time with any one character, and if you do, it’s the shadow and bone characters. the showrunners knew they had to make kaz a likeable character to people coming into the series blind, and kaz brekker is a pretty hard character to like when you don’t get his backstory or even the slightest hint of it. part of what the six of crows books had going for it was the changing point of views, and inej’s trust and feelings for kaz. inej narrates a lot of stuff, and she does it in a more sympathetic way, making us give kaz the benefit of the doubt - especially since inej is such an upstanding character. you get a little bit of that is the netflix show, but you can’t get a lot of it because (1) time constraints, and (2) inej and kaz are actually at odds for a lot of the show - especially the opening bit. literally, their first interaction is a fight.

so, to get newer fans invested in this emo teen, they made him less dirtyhands. this is also fine because these events happen before the six of crows duology.

if we start the six of crows arc in season two, however, there is too much growth for kaz to do in between seasons. we need to see some of that on screen. especially since his plans were a bust, and the most dirtyhands thing he did was with the inferni, and he wasn’t the one to kill the inferni - inej was. (and i love that scene like the rest of you, but there could have been other ways to get inej to save kaz while letting kaz show some more of that ruthlessness.)

and that’s just kaz. admittedly, he’s an easy character to pick apart, but we have to talk about a few more.

nina zenik? yeah, let’s talk about her. the six of crows nina we knows has a lot of guilt over what she did to matthias - even if a lot of it is repressed. she has a slew of complex emotions over matthias, and it’s all been fermenting inside of her for a year. point is, in the show nina still thinks what she did was right, and she hasn’t had time to question that inside of herself. sure, in the books she still posits that what she did was justified, but there’s a bit of uncertainty there, caused by the acidity of guilt. i want to see that war inside of nina. it makes their love story all the more compelling.

and while we’re talking about helnik, let’s just cover matthias helvar real quick, because, personally, his character needs that time spent in hellgate, now more than ever.

i’ve already mentioned my beef with aging up matthias is a few other posts, but why don’t i reprise it?

matthias is an incredibly complex character, and part of what makes his change earnest is two things - the struggle he continues to feel throughout the duology, and his age. now stick with me.

part of matthias’ struggle is that he is still that little boy whose family were killed by grisha. in the books, matthias is only 18. that seems mature, but by all accounts, it most definitely isn’t. he doesn’t know anything about the world. he has been training to be a religious soldier, where he was heavily indoctrinated. what has matthias truly seen of the world? likely, very little.

furthermore, because he’s only 18, how many expeditions has he been on? sure, matthias has seen grisha tried for their “crimes” and he has been training against grisha since he was a boy, but do you think they’re putting eleven year old matthias out there, against full grown grisha? my bet is he only started truly hunting grisha when he was 14.

when he meets nina, he hasn’t been hunting grisha long, and he’s young enough to where we could truly see how him being smitten with nina could impact his thoughts.

matthias in the show is played by a man who is 27. no hate, this isn’t ageism, but if he’s been hunting grisha since he was 14, he’s been hunting grisha for 12 years. he has gone out on numerous expeditions. hell, in the show they give matthias a large amount of credit for capturing nina. it is sO much harder for you to buy the “nina is a beautiful grisha and has changed my life” storyline when he’s 27, almost 30. furthermore, this matthias has seen way more grisha trials. the concept that he doesn’t know that grisha aren’t given a fair trial is just absurd, at this point. furthermore, you add on the fact that he’s been indoctrinated longer, and it makes his story all the more difficult to grapple with.

on the one hand, i understand that they aged everyone up (which i was happy about, for the majority of characters. kaz, i am once again looking at you). on the other hand, it puts a huge strain on matthias’ character, and if they were to try to juggle the six of crows plot with the shadow and bone plot, so much nuance would be lost and the majority of new fans would not understand people liking matthias. you would risk alienating his character (and nina’s, by effect) and that is not what either character (or actor!) deserves.

they’ve already made it so hard for us to buy the “nina changes matthias” storyline - even though they’ve made him a tad sweeter and more likeable - and if they try to fast track it, it’s going to fall through.

i think matthias needs his time in hellgate for some soul searching and some struggle. with matthias, the only way out is through, and we need to have time for that to happen.

inej and jesper are a little less difficult to juggle since they’re are done pretty well, but i don’t want to see their complexity and nuance fall through (especially jesper’s) because the show is doing too many things at once.

basically, the crows are currently in their fledgling state, and if they were to be thrown into the six of crows storyline, it would not be nearly as fulfilling.

✧ *:･ﾟ

finally, i just want to say that the overall genre and theme of six of crows and shadow and bone are completely different. i feel like there would be far too much dissonance in the show. you could already feel it in season one, but because alina fears being kidnapped and then she goes on the run, it works. six of crows, though, is a completely different show and i think it would be odd to shift from ~life aboard sturmhond’s ship~ to ~breaking and entering in the ice court~.

✧ *:･ﾟ

anyway, those are my thoughts, anon. surely you didn’t ask for this, but you received it, anyway.