#i wrote this awhile ago and forgot to post it to tumblr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

enchantedchocolatebars · 3 years

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I Found Love On Christmas Eve❤️🎄❄️💋🦇🕷️🕸️💕: A cute, fluffy Stangel holiday fic for @princessrainbowpastel / @stelladelano!

I honestly should have posted this in December, but I got hella distracted by stuff, mainly Tumblr, school, roleplay, and "other things" lol. But here ya go bestie! Enjoy!💋

I had so much fun writing this (I wrote it awhile ago and saved it in the my notepad app), and I would love to thank @ren-c-leyn for double checking and enjoying reading this!🙂 I'm proud of how self-indulegent this is lol!💕 Warning: this is VERY long lol!😁😁😁)

Stella was in her dressing room getting herself ready for her next strip show! Being that it was December, the club she worked at made its female workers all wear sexy santa girl costumes.

As she got ready, the bat couldn't help but think of Mystery Fan (as she liked to call them) and all the wonderful gifts they have been sending her for months. She let out a happy sigh as the thought of them always made her day. Whoever this mysterious admirer was, they had to be the sweetest, kindest, most heartfelt demon in all of Hell. She had to admit - with every gift and letter they had sent, she was falling for them more and more. Stella felt like a school girl finding and receiving gifts and love letters from a shy, secret admirer in her locker.

'The day I meet this person,' Stella thought, putting the finishing touches to her Christmas themed makeup, 'Will be the happiest day of my life!' Little did the scarlet haired cutie know that that day was today.

When the show came to an end, Stella heads back to her dressing room, changes into her regular attire, and begins to pack up. A Christmas party was being thrown at the hotel today and she didn't want to miss it or be late. Once she was packed and ready, Stella heads to her car and starts to drive back to the hotel.

As she drives, she spots happy demon couples on the sidewalk, handing and receiving gifts and letters to and from one another. Their reactions to the items were all the same - cheery and content. Seeing such a sight makes Stella frown slightly as she let out a soft sigh. She really wishes she could receive something from the passionate person who's been on her mind for months now: Mystery Fan. Just the thought of hearing their romantic words being said to her up close and in person made the redhead's heart race.

When Stella arrives at the Hazbin Hotel, she parks her car and steps out of it. The bat saw the exterior of the place and was astound by how it looked. The building was covered head to toe with Christmas decorations and lights!

"Wow, Charlie really went all out this year..." said Stella, amazed and impressed by her friend's work. The bubbly blonde really gave the place the right design for the holidays.

As she enters the hotel, Stella let's out a surprised gasp. The inside looked absolutely gorgeous! Like the exterior, the interior of the place was also nicely covered in Christmas decorations. It was like walking into a Christmas wonderland! In the background, holiday music could be heard playing from the intercom.

At the party, all of Stella's friends were there, having fun and celebrating while wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. Well, almost all her friends. The only person who seemed to be missing was Angel Dust.

Niffty was happily collecting candy canes from the Christmas tree and placing them inside her stocking, Charlie and Vaggie were having a lively conversation together on the lobby sofa as they held cups of hot cocoa in their hands, and at the hotel mini bar, Alastor was seen hanging out at the counter speaking to Husk as he cleaned shot glasses. The grouchy bartender couldn't help but groan and roll his eyes each time the radio demon spoke to him.

While talking to Vaggie, Charlie spots Stella from the corner of her eye. "Stella! You're here!" the Hell-born princess gasped, thrilled to see the other female as she gestures for her to come over.

When she does so, Charlie gives Stella a pure, genuine grin. Now the party could really get started!

A montage of cute Christmas photos begins as "My Secret Santa" plays. The first photo is of Charlie, Vaggie, and Stella with mics in their hands, singing Christmas karaoke songs together. Alastor, Husk, and Niffty are there as well, watching the three girls. Niffty cheers for them, Alastor looks amused by the whole thing, and Husk doesn't seem to care.

The second one is of Charlie and Stella smiling and hugging each other while wearing reindeer antler headbands and light up Rudolph noses.

The third photo is of Stella and Vaggie wearing Christmas tree glasses. In the photo, Stella is grinning while holding up bunny ears with her hand above Vaggie's head, and Vaggie has a cute, calm smile on her face while holding up a peace sign with her hand.

The fourth photo is of Stella and Niffty enjoying candy canes together.

The fifth one is of Stella, Husk, and Alastor. In the photo, Stella has a mischievous and flirty look on her face as she holds up a mistletoe plant for the two males to see. Husk, of course, wants nothing to do with kissing of any kind with her as he has an irritated expression on his face, while Alastor, with a large grin of his face, slightly pushes Husk towards her as if saying "Please, take him, not me." And the sixth and last photo is of Stella and the others taking a group Christmas photo together.

After the montage comes to an end, the gang all decide to play a fun little game of pin the tail on the reindeer! Vaggie was the blindfolded pinner and Alastor, being a deer demon, was decided by everyone to be the reindeer. The moth had a devilish grin on her face, her hair bow reacting the same as it formed onto itself a wicked grin with razor, sharp triangular teeth. She saw this as the perfect opportunity to get back at Alastor for constantly pestering her and getting under her skin. The radio demon saw the look on the hotel manager's face and didn't like where this was going as a nervous sweat droplet appeared on his forehead. Before Stella could record this amazing, hilarious moment on her phone, her stomach slightly growled. She decided that the best thing to do now is to take a quick cake break and come back to the action later. Hopefully, she'd be able to capture at least some of it on her device.

Once she steps inside the kitchen, she sees the delicious looking Gingerbread Cheesecake sitting on the countertop, making her mouth water. She happily cuts herself a piece, sits down at the table, and partakes in the rich, sweet dessert. As she was eating, she began to think about Angel Dust. She hoped that the spider was doing okay (especially around this time of year).

In her mind, she wondered why he didn't show up at the party yet. Was he just really busy at the studio and couldn't arrive, or was the arachnid secretly upset with her about something and was trying to avoid her to the best of his abilities? As all these thoughts about where her best friend could be and why he wasn't at the party yet clouded her mind, Stella's stomach began to feel weird and somehow, to her, the cake that she was eating began to taste less and less sweet. She slowly stopped eating, puts her fork down, and utters out a small, tired sigh as she sadly rests her head on the table.

Charlie, entering the kitchen, sees a glum Stella at the table with her head down. Being the kind friend she is, the princess instantly becomes concerned over the bat's well being as she quickly heads over to take a seat next to her.

"What's wrong, Stel? Is everything alright?" Charlie asked, putting a comforting hand on Stella's shoulder. Stella slightly lifts her head up to look at Charlie before sighing. "Oh, it's nothing." she replied before putting her head back down. Now, Charlie obviously knew that that wasn't the case, but, before she could say anything, she suddenly remembered why she came into the kitchen in the first place.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot!" She pulls out a small present and shows it off to Stella. "Someone wanted me to give this to you." she smiled. "Huh?" This got Stella's attention as she raises her head up to look at Charlie and the gift.

"The person decided that it would be best to stay anonymous...for now..." Charlie continued, handing the unknown gift to Stella as she gave her a small wink. What did Charlie mean by that? Stella's scarlet colored eyes slowly examined the present box that was in her hands. She saw that it was beautifully wrapped and had a cute bow on top that was tied perfectly. The bat brought the box close to her ear and shook it slightly to figure out what was inside. Whatever it was, it didn't weigh much. She takes a look at the tag and reads it. "To Stella from..." Stella lets out a surprised gasp as she got to the last word "#1 fan!" She couldn't believe it! So not only was this mystery demon a common patron at the strip club she worked at, but they also knew where she lived and was in cahoots with Charlie.

"Wait, Charlie, you know about my #1 fan and who they are?!" Stella asked, hoping to get some sort of explanation. Charlie let out a hum. "You could say that..." she giggled, not spilling the beans. "Well, who are they!? They've been sending me stuff for months now, and i've been dying to know who they are!" Stella at this point craved any answer.

The princess, letting out another girlish giggle, replies with, "Well, they didn't want me telling you who they were buuut," She gave Stella a sincere smile. "Let's just say they're someone who cares and...I'm really proud of them for doing this." Charlie gives Stella another wink before leaving. She soon comes to the realization that Mystery Fan is someone in the hotel.

Alone in the kitchen, Stella began to carefully unwrap her present. As she tears off the the last remaining piece of wrapping paper, she sees that the gift inside is a teddy bear, wearing a Santa hat and has an envelope with a heart stamp taped to its right hand. Stella removes the envelope from the stuffed teddy's hand and opens it.

The bat sees a letter inside and starts reading. When she got to the last sentence, the redhead smiled softly as her cheeks change to a light pink color. She felt a warmness like no other in her heart. It was official; Stella Taylor Delano was in love with Mystery Fan.

Out of all the cards and letters they had send her, this one had to be most heartfelt.

The letter read:

“Stella Taylor Delano,

You truly are the only woman who can make me happy. Simply seeing your smile makes me realize that life in this literal Hell hole is worth living. My love grows for you each and everyday. I guess you could say that i'm addicted to you, and you are the only drug that keeps me functioning. When I look into your eyes, I see the real me, a person that lives for a goal and a purpose now...and that's being with you. This will be my last and final letter as I want to come out of my shell and reveal who I am. Meet me on the hotel rooftop at 10. See you soon~

Love, Your #1 Fan xoxo”

Stella was feeling extremely excited, as well as anxious, but still remained touched by the love letter written to her. She was finally going to meet Mystery Fan face to face! But who could they be, she wondered. Looks like she'll find out at 10. The bat makes a mental note to get herself ready at around 9:30 and head up to the roof at 9:55. Once she does, she leaves the kitchen and makes her way back to the others.

Stella hopes that they're still playing pin the tail on the reindeer so that she could record a bit of funny footage on her phone of a terrified Alastor running away from a vengeance seeking Vaggie with a pin.

Once the party came to an end, everyone decided to hit the hay for tonight. Well, almost everyone. Stella had to get ready for her meet up "date" with Mystery Fan.

Being that she was meeting this unknown, romantic stranger for the first time, she wanted to look her absolute best with the right outfit. The only problem is, Stella had so many good outfits in her closet. Which one would be perfect for Mystery Fan? This calls for a fashion montage.

In her room, Stella sets down on her bed a variety of her favorite winter sweaters and skirts to try on. She first tries on a pink sweater that had little, mini red hearts on them that she found to be cute, but the sweater wasn't the right cut unfortunately.

The next thing she puts on is a sweater / skirt combo that she thought made her look smoking hot, but at the same time she felt it wasn't quite right.

The red and white sweater? Too fluffy. The black skirt with stockings? No way. The yellow bikini she wore to the beach last year? Wait, how did THAT even get in her pile?! Doesn't matter, it was too much anyways and wasn't right for the weather, so she tosses the swimwear aside.

The bat was pickier than normal, tossing away beloved outfits in her hunt for perfection. Finally, after casting away so many outfit choices, Stella let's out a small, surprised gasp as the last outfit remaining on her bed was one to her liking.

It was a white sweater; long, dark gray sweatshirt; light plaid scarf; black knit gloves; a whitish, light pink knit beanie; black sheer tights; dark gray, and knee-high, suede boots. She found it to be absolutely adorable as she tried it on and modeled in it in front of her mirror. Yup, this outfit was the one!

After adding a bit of makeup to her features, Stella was set and ready to go! At around 9:55, almost 9:56, Stella double checks herself in the mirror to ensure that she looked good for her little "date".

After doing so, Stella hurries out of her room and heads to the rooftop stairs. When she arrives on the roof, Stella's scarlet eyes widden in shock as the bat was beyond surprised by the demon she's met with. It was Alastor!

The deer demon was at ease as he fed the large, demon birds who were with him bloody chopped up demon parts from a small, brown sack that was dripping in blood. When he notices a figure near of the corner of his eye, he turns to see a perplexed Stella gazing at him.

Alastor is the first to break the silence. "Surprised to see you here, my dear," he said, giving the red head one of his typical dark and brooding grins. "I knew it~" Stella gave the radio host a flirty smirk. "So all that pretending not to be interested was all an act, huh? Heh. It's always the ones you least expect. I had a feeling you couldn't resist all this~" she purred, signaling at her curves.

"I really liked those letters and gifts you've been sending me for the past few months. Who knew a powerful Overlord such as yourself had such a big heart~" She gave him a playful smile and wink. Hearing these words caused Alastor to blink for a bit before tilting his head slightly in confusion. "Pardon me?" he asked, wondering what Stella could be talking about.

Stella was a bit thrown off by Alastor's reaction. "That letter you wrote to me; it said that you wanted the two of us to meet here tonight at 10 because you were my #Fan 1, and...you also told me...that...you loved me..." Just thinking about all the stuff written from that recent letter caused Stella to flush, smiling at herself.

Alastor, now processing Stella's words, merely chuckled. "Me? A fan of yours? Not only that, but ME...love...YOU? Hahaha! My dear, don't be ridiculous. That's absolute nonsense! I'm only here because feeding these filthy, disgusting scavengers just so happens to be a favorite past time of mine." He smiled, being extremely uncompromisingly forthright with his rather rude remark.

"O-Oh..." Stella looked down as her shoulders slumped and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment, trying her best to blink back any tears. Alastor tossed the last remaining body part from the sack to the birds who fought and squawked over it. Devouring it quickly, the birds look to Alastor for more. "Sorry, but it looks like i'm all out," he told them as he threw down the empty sack to prove it.

The birds, seeing that there was nothing left, soon depart to the skies. Alastor waves a small good bye to them as looks to a heartbroken Stella who continued to look down. "Well, it's rather late, so I think i'll be heading inside. I'll be seeing you. Hopefully, whoever you're suppose to meet here shows up. Though, with how behind time they seem to be, I don't think they will." And with that, Alastor was gone. Stella sadly sighed to herself as she took out her phone to look at the time. It was 10:15. Mystery Fan, whoever and wherever they were, was late.

A sad, heavy sigh escaped Angel's lips as he was in is dressing room, sitting in front of his vanity mirror, getting himself ready for his next shoot. He felt absolutely awful about everything. He had wrote to Stella a confessional letter about his true feelings for her and how much the scarlet haired beauty meant to him. He remembered that in said letter he had mentioned that he would meet her at the Happy Hotel rooftop at 10, and right now it was 10:20.

His original plan was to leave work at around 9:45 to get to her, but he knew that Val would practically lose his shit again if he found out his favorite star skipped work.

Angel sighed for a second time. He really hoped that Stella would still be at the roof by the time he got to her. As Angel thought about what to do, the spider soon came to a realization that Stella, the girl who he loved with all his heart, was much more important than the feelings of his abuse boss, no matter how much he feared him. He had to find a way to sneek out without Valentino noticing. But how, he thought.

As the arachnid looked around the room in search of something that could help him in his escape plan, his eyes came to the body pillow of himself dressed in a school girl uniform that was laying up in the corner. This gave him an idea.

An irritated Valentino was seen at the studio's indoor film set, sitting in his director's chair as he waited for Angel to be in the next scene for his latest flick.

As the mothman waits, he taps on the side of his chair repeatedly with his index finger, clearly angry. Eventually, his patients wears thin as the fury that was bottled up inside him explodes as he storms out in search for his favorite money maker.

When he arrives at Angel's dressing room door, he bursts it open with all his might, nearly breaking it. He sees "Angel" sitting there in front of his mirror and marches on over to him.

"Angelcakes, you seem to be taking your sweet time in here. Don't you know I have a business to run and money to make?" he growled, now behind the spider. "Angel" said nothing as he continued to sit still in his chair. Valentino took this as his employee ignoring him, which he found extremely disrespectful and a huge insult to his ego. The pimp pulled out his pistol and pointed it behind "Angel's" head as he formed a wicked smirk.

"The silent treatment, huh? Well, let's see how silent you are when I blow your--" Suddenly, "Angel" fell to the ground. This reveals that "Angel" was really just Angel's body pillow dressed in his clothing and wearing one on his drag wigs.

Val was a bit stunned by this, but once the hamster on a wheel in his brian began to run and he slowly puts the pieces together, he figures out that the actual Angel Dust had skipped work...AGAIN. This caused an already vexed Val to turn red with rage. "ANGEL!!!" he angrily yelled at the top of his lungs, loud enough that his shouting echoed across the large building. As the real Angel Dust was running down a hall with a panic-stricken look on his face, he heard his boss's echo, which made him pick up the pace and run faster.

The speedy spider hightailed it out of the studio door as he made a run for it down the streets. He would have the deal with the consequences of leaving work later, but right now, he had to get to Stella, and fast.

Millie and Moxxie were happily walking home together down the downtown streets on a chilly, Christmas Eve night hand in hand after their little trip from the store, where they bought a Christmas themed cake for tommorrow.

"You excited for tomorrow, Mill?" Moxxie asked his wife sweetly. Millie smiles as she cuddles closer to her husband.

"I sure am, sweetie," she replies. Their peaceful walk is soon interrupted when they hear the sound of running footsteps coming towards them. Moxxie rasies a suspicious eyebrow at this, and Millie, concerned, hugs her hubby's arm tightly. The running demon is revealed to be Angel Dust, who's practically speeding towards them in a hurry.

"Outta the way! I'm late!" he shouts at the couple. When Angel sprints past Moxxie and Millie, his speed causes the two of them to spin around uncontrollably.

The cake flies out of Moxxie's hand and into the air. When the couple stop spinning, they both fall down bottom first to the ground, completely dizzy.

Moxxie, first to regain a bit of his balance, gets up as he shakes his head. He soon helps Millie up.

"Are you okay?" he asks, worried that she might have gotten hurt. "I'm fine, hun, don't worry." Millie gives him a reassuring smile.

The female imp quickly notices that something is missing and looks left and right for it. "Where's the cake?!" The minute Millie asks this, the cake, now out of its plastic container, comes falling to the ground in a splat.

"Oh no!" she gasps, holding a hand over her mouth in shock. Moxxie, angry beyond belief at this, waves a fist at Angel Dust who was long gone.

"Hey buddy, maybe watch where you're going next time!!!" He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down before turning to Millie and the cake. "Great," he sighed, slightly vexed.

"Look what that guy made us do. Where are we going to get another cake at this time of night, hun? I'm sure the supermarket is closed by now, and tommorrow's Christmas. You know how packed supermarkets can get on that day."

Millie put a reassuring hand on Moxxie's shoulder as she gave the male imp a peck on the cheek "Aw, sweetie, don't worry. I think we have some cake ingredients at home. We'll just have to make our own cake this year. How does that sound?" Moxxie, now at ease thanks to his wife, smiles warmly at her. "Sounds fine to me."

Blitzo was walking down the street with a huge grin of his face. In his arms was a glass jar that was filled to the brim with marbles. "Loonie's gonna love her present this year! A bunch of marbles! I mean, who doesn't love marbles? I know I d--" The jar nearly slips out of his hand, causing the imp boss to stop mid-sentence.

He let's out a relieved sigh when it doesn't. "Ha, you know, more a minute there I thought--"

Just then, Angel runs past Blitzo, bumping into him slighty as he loses hold of the jar and drops it. When it hits the ground, marbles and shattered glass pieces go everywhere. "Oh shit!" he cried out. "I lost my marbles...literally!"

As Millie and Moxxie continue their little stroll home, they hear the sound of someone crying up ahead. The voice sounds quite familiar to them. When they got closer, they see that the weeping belonged to none other than their boss, who was on his knees with dramatic tears in his eyes.

"Oh cry! Oh sob! Oh weep! Oh other noises that show complete and utter sadness!" Blitzo cried, putting a hand over his face and slightly peeking out to see if anyone would feel sympathy for his unfortunate predicament.

"Oh no," Millie quietly gasped, putting both hands over her mouth. Seeing her boss in such a state instantly brought her bubbly mood down.

Meanwhile, Moxxie just rolled his eyes. "Oh please," he huffed, not buying his boss's "sorrowful" behavior at all. "Come on, Moxx. Let's go see what's wrong with Blitzo." she grabbed her husband's hand and dragged him over with her to their boss. Moxxie let out a groan, not wanting to deal with Blitzo on the day before Christmas.

"Blitzo, what's wrong? Is everything alright?" Millie asked as she and Moxxie arrived to him, a mix of concern and worry in her voice.

The red imp brought his hand down from his face when he heard Millie, and looked to see his two workers. The minute he saw them, the waterworks really came on. Blitzo gives to Millie an overdramatic hug, as he cried in her arms.

"NO, MILLS! EVERYTHING IS NOT ALRIGHT! I'VE LOST THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TONIGHT...MY MARBLES!" he then proceeds to cry more as Millie gives him reassuring head rubs.

"Shh! Shh! Shh! It's okay, sir. We all do sometimes." "At least he's finally admitted it," Moxxie whispers in his wife's ear, a slight chuckle in his voice. "Moxx!" Millie whispers back, lightly scolding him. "He's our boss. We've got to help him. Plus, it's near the holidays. No would deserves to feel sad during this time."

She then puts her on focus back on Blitzo. "Sir, I know the perfect activity that'll help regain your marbles! How about we all watch Christmas movies and--" "How the hell is watching Christmas movies going to help me get my marbles back? They're on the ground, Millie."

Blitzo shakes his head and rolls his eyes. He swears, Mills could be such an airhead sometimes. "Huh?" Millie and Moxxie both look on the ground to see that Blitzo was right. A small number marbles were on the ground as well as a few pieces of glass.

"I had them all in a jar, but I dropped the stupid thing and it broke. Hell, some of them even rolled away," Blitzo explains, teary-eyed.

As Millie thinks on what to do to help her boss, she gets an idea, a light bulb quickly appearing above her head. "I know! Me and Moxxie can help you pick the marbles up! Sure, we won't be able to get every one, but it's better than getting nothing!" she said, beaming brightly.

Hearing this somehow made Blitzo feel instantly better, his "sad" demeanor quickly fading away as he stood tall. "You're right, Millie! Wow, what an excellent idea I came up with! You two are the best employees a guy could ask for! I'm definitely giving you both a raise for this!"

Moxxie's jaw nearly dropped hearing this. "A-A-A raise?! Wait, you really mean it sir?!" Blitzo gives Moxxie a hearty smile. "Of course not! Now come on! Let's get to marble pickin'!" This made Millie smile while Moxxie glared at his boss, mumbling something about him under his breath.

Angel, now speeding up the hotel rooftop stairs like a madman, nearly breaks the door down when he bursts it open. "Stella I--!!" the spider stopped mid sentence when he sees that no one, expect for him, was there, causing his heart to sink.

"Oh no..." He takes out his phone from his suit pocket to see what time it was. 11:15. He breaths out a sigh of defeat as he put his device away and goes over to the end of the roof to look at the city.

Feeling beyond disappointed in himself and the situation, Angel uses his hands to cover his face. If only he'd have arrived on time, Stella would still be there. He honestly doesn't blame her for leaving. Suddenly, he hears someone call his name. "Angel?" Surprised by the voice, he turns around and sees Stella at the door.

"What are you doing up here?" she asks, concern laced in her voice due to how late it was. "Heh. I should be askin' you the same thing," Angel chuckles, a soft smile planted on his face at Stella.

God, she was absolutely beautiful to him. Stella bubbles out a giggle at the spider's playful demeanor.

"Well, I came here for my glove. I noticed that it wasn't in my pocket and figured i'd must have dropped it when I left. I was up here before. I was waiting for someone to show but..." Stella stops when she hears her voice slighty crack at "but" and quickly pulls herself together, not wanting to let out any tears like before.

"Well...let's just say...they didn't show up. They've been constantly sending me letters, telling me how much they cared, but...I guess they don't. Which is fine, haha! I'll be fine! I'll be...fine." The bat clearly wasn't fine with the heartbroken look on her face, and honestly just wanted today to be over.

Before she left again, Angel decided that now would be a good time to speak up.

"Stel, wait!" he called out to her. The minute she heard her name, the redhead turned back around to Angel, giving the spider her full attention. "Yes?" Angel clears his voice and nervously scratches the back of his head while looking down at the ground, cheeks flushed. He's usually the cocky, confident type, so seeing himself in such a state confused even him.

Shyly looking up to Stella, a blush still apparent on his face as his fingers started to fidget, Angel began to speak. "W-Well, about those, um, letters you've been getting...I, uh, you see, um, I wanted to say..." The spider stopped talking after "say", his nervousness not allowing him to get his full words out.

Stella's eyes soften at him, having a feeling that she knew exactly what Angel was going to say. "Yeah?" The spider took a deep breath, stopped his fidgeting, looked Stella in the eyes and gave the bat the most sincere smile.

"I wanted to say, Stel, that I met every word in all of them. Ever since the day we meant, I started gaining these feelings fer ya, and I thought that sooner or later the feelings would just, ya know, just go away. But...they haven't. In fact, they've gotten stronger. I started fallin' fer ya more and more each time we hung out. I couldn't get ya out of my head. You and I are best friends, so it all felt weird." He let's out a sigh. "Stella Taylor Delano, I know this might sound crazy, maybe even insane for me to say but...I love you. I didn't think I would ever have to say those words to a girl before, but it's true. You mean the world to me and make life in the afterlife more fun and worth living. Stel, I love you, and it would mean the absolute world to mean if ya loved me back." The spider awaited for the red head's response.

Stella's grey cheeks blushed crimson as touched tears began to course down her cheeks. She wiped her face a bit with her coat sleeve, but the salty liquid continued to fall as she walked towards him.

"A-Angel," she began, a sniffling mess. "Y-You really mean it?" The spider gave her a playful, but caring grin. "You know it, toots~!"

"A-Angel?"

"Yeah? What is it, babe?"

Once Stella was in front of him, she softly cupped his face and smiled in his direction. "I have something that I wanna confess that might sound crazy too."

"Y-You do?" he stuttered, his face turning as red as Stella's. "Well, what is it?"

As Stella started to talk to him, her smile still stayed on her face. "Angel Dust...I feel the same way. I love you too."

"Really?" he asked, his face getting close to her. "Really," she replied, her face getting close as well.

Their faces were now inches away from each other. They could feel each other's hot breath on their lips as the two's hearts were beating like drums. With just one movement, Stella and Angel locked lips.

As they shared their sweet kiss, flakes of snow began to fall from the sky as "I Found Love" started to play in the background.

"Oh, Moxxie! Just look at it! It looks absolutely gorgeous!" gasped Millie. The female imp and her hubby were in their kitchen putting the finishing touches to the Christmas cake that they baked together.

"It just needs one more thing..." Moxxie said as he looked on the counter for any decorations that would complete the cake.

"Ah ha!" he picked up the Christmas star cake decoration and placed it on top. "A star!" he smiled as he put his hand on his wife's waist and brought her close to him for a cheek kiss.

A giggle emerged from her lips as she smiled back at him. "Oh Moxx, this has to be the best Christmas ever," Millie sighed contently as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh, Loonie~!" Blitzo cooed as he arrived to Loona who was waiting for him at the end of the snowy sidewalk. The imp was carrying with him a plastic baggie that was barely filled with marbles as he shows them off for her to see.

"Gotcha a little Christmas Eve gift~ I had a jar for these, but it broke. Wasn't my fault though, some asshole ran into me. So, what do you think?"

Loona facepalms herself as she groans in annoyance at her dad's boss's lame ass "gift".

Back on the rooftop, we see our main couple still sweetly smooching. At the roof door, Niffty suddenly pops her head out and spots the two making out and giggles madly in fangirl victory, pulling out a notepad and pencil and doodling the cinematic masterpiece she's witnessing.

"MY OTP IS CANON, MY OTP IS CANON, MY OTP IS FREAKIN' CANON!" she quietly streaks, not wanting the lovebirds to hear or see her.

"Perfect!" she says as she takes a look at her finished work.

The drawling is a cute animu like doodle of Stella and Angel kissing. She then takes out her cellphone, turns off her camera flash, and quickly snaps a photo of the two before giggling to herself again and silently slipping away. Boy, her Stangel fanfiction is gonna be awesome with all this official content she's gotten!

Once Stella and Angel slowly pull away, they both hold each other's gaze as their eyes sparkle in wonderment. The kiss felt like something straight out of a fairytale. The two soon realize that they've been staring at one another for too long as they both apologize in unison and quickly look away, blushing like crazy.

While they continue their lack of eye contact, Stella feels a snowflake land on her nose as she looks up to see that it's snowing. As the snow continues to fall, bits of it gets in Stella's hair. Angel looks back to her and notices this.

A soft, genuine look appears on his features as he brushes some of the snow off of her head and lifts her hoodie up.

"There," he smiled warmly to the bat.

Stella returns the warm look and smiles back. "Thanks," she says, her heart melting.

"Soooo, uh," Angel cleared his throat as he started to blush, shyly looking away yet again as he scratches the back of his head.

"Does this mean we're, like, a thing now?" he asked, a bit worried about Stella's reply. The red head giggled at his shy state as she hummed out, "It seems so," she gently grabbed his upper hand, squeezing it a bit.

The spider chuckled as he grinned at Stella. "Good. I'm glad." The now official couple held hands as they walked back inside. This was definitely the start of a cute, beautiful relationship.

#stangel #writing #my writing

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 4 years

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asks (26)

@spickerzocker said:

hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!

Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:

I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping.

As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me.

During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.

I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked.

The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself.

None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough.

I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.

That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)

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Anonymous said:

U suck

Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her.

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Anonymous said:

I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag

Excellent

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@wingedskyes said:

Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆

I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page

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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:

To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.

I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day

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Anonymous said:

"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"

Hold on I have to google some things

Yeah this is funny

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Anonymous said:

I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it

Awww anon I’m so pleased :)

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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:

Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!

Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit

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@njtheboywonder said:

I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.

Oh that warms my heart <3

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@bruciewayneisbatman said:

Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.

Had to google that one, but I guess so huh

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Anonymous said:

(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept

We’re all here dying..... together...

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Anonymous said:

Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊

Anonymous said:

To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊

Message for you anon

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Anonymous said:

Your writing gives off good vibes

Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know

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Anonymous said:

finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.

Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here

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Anonymous said:

Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”

@noisypaintersong said:

For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL

@kirakats submitted:

Anonymous said:

“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now.

@kurawastaken submitted:

So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.

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Anonymous said:

I love your blog!!!

And I love you

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Anonymous said:

quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)

This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth

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@angel-gidget said:

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!

Oh thank you for the hug <3

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Anonymous said:

I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!

!!!

I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth

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@damianwaynerocks said:

hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?

Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard

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Anonymous said:

hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.

Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere

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@awesomeness-ofgaybitches said:

Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.

FUCK

#I'd like to also take this opportunity to note that at this time #I have blocked 7 people for variations on #okay no ships but what about sailboats??#but what about the TITANIC #here's a picture of the bat-boat tho #guess what kids it's not creative or funny #and I explicitly said that jokes will get you blocked #I follow through #asks

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etraytin · 4 years

Text

Quarantine, Day 64

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when it's Quarantine Day 64?

It's May 14, for those of us who are still having a hard time keeping track of the days, which means we are very close to halfway through yet another month. Since April ended sometime in the late Pleistocene Epoch, this is a pretty solid accomplishment, go us! It also marks two weeks of being here in North Carolina instead of home in Virginia. My balcony plants are either super dead or forming their own jungle ecology by now, no middle ground. I'm not even going to contemplate what the milk is doing, because it was already not new before I forgot to throw it away on May 1. Oops.

One of my followers sent me a message today to say they liked my quarantine journal, which is very nice to hear! I have been journaling for an audience off and on since I started my Livejournal in 2001 (I am oooooooold), but Tumblr is not necessarily a natural home for diary blogging. Still, a lot of my internet friends live her, and it's comfortable, and at this point journaling is pretty much the only way I can make sense of what's happening from day to day and week to week. I wrote a few things down during the first couple weeks of quarantine, but it barely seemed real for awhile. My daily journaling began around Day 28 because I had a night where I could no longer smell or taste anything, and it turned out to be allergies but it scared the hell out of me. It suddenly occurred to me that not only would journaling be something interesting to look back on, but it might be a vital part of contact tracing for someone like me whose appointment calendar is written on her hand as often as not. I have not needed to use it for that, thankfully, but I have gotten to tell a lot of stories and work through a lot of stuff in my own brain. If it has entertained anyone else or made anyone else feel less alone, that's even better.

Today was another tiring one. I spent a lot of time trying to learn a bunch of stuff about Medicare on the fly, plus line up consultations with an elder law attorney for my mother in law and fill out the questionnaires we need to have done in advance. Answering those questions is long and tedious, and it often involves unpleasant truths like spelling out every medical problem either of them have, and every potential financial liability. I got six pages into the thirteen page form and called it a day, because even getting that far had involved about two hours of research and signing up for various government and insurance web portals to dig up information. Blech. It's like registering for the bar exam all over again but with less questions on moral turpitude and more disclosures about gifts to grandchildren. (And I shouldn't complain, the bar exam application was closer to 40 pages.)

Things with my mother in law did go better today. I feel like I complain about her all the time on here and it's not really fair because she's a great person and I love her a lot. If I didn't, I wouldn't get so upset if she's not taking care of herself! She and the kiddo had a good time today playing games and reading books, and she was able to get in for a very important medical procedure that she had skipped last month because she had nobody to drive her. Today she got that procedure and as a bonus it meant keeping her leg propped up for hours, so overall it was great and there were no new falls. We also had to sit for quite awhile to do the questionnaire stuff, so that was one side benefit of me banging my head against the metaphorical wall for a few hours. Now that she's sleeping and eating more, she just has a lot more energy, and that's a good and bad thing when she's supposed to take it easy.

Dinner was good today too, my husband decided to make a picnic for the balcony and did up roasted breaded chicken, biscuits with hot honey butter, and spicy potato-bean hash. It sound weird, but it was all very tasty, and the weather today was amazing. It's been very cold all week, but now it really feels springy and perfect. The table umbrella was not working, but I managed to jury-rig it with a bungee cord. Now it won't close but it stays open quite nicely, which beats the opposite. I'm also trying to drink more water, because the air here is super dry and I'm eating a lot of salty food, but results are mixed so far. I need at least another couple cups before bed.

Had another post-bedtime conversation with the kiddo just a few minutes ago, one of the hardest ones yet. He was very sad because he said things are not getting any better, only worse. After teasing that out for a couple of minutes, we dug down to him being very sad about the fact that his Papa is sick and not getting any better, and that he wants to visit him, but it's also horrible because Papa not only doesn't remember their previous visits from day to day, he doesn't always remember the kiddo right away at this point. And fuck, I didn't know what to say at all to that. He cried, and I cried right along with him, and told him that he was right, it's horrible and unfair that this should happen to anybody, but especially to Papa, who has always been so clever and had such good stories. In a lot of our bedtime conversations I can remind him of good things that are happening or things to look forward to, but there is no reason to assume that anything is going to get better in this situation, and every reason to believe that they will be worse soon.

In this case, I figured it was best just to level with him, even though he's only ten. I told him that I remembered having to do this with my grandmother, and that was terrible and sad, and it felt like losing her in tiny pieces. It hurts, and it will hurt to lose Papa, and it's okay if he needs to cry or needs to not go on a visit or needs to talk about it with me or Daddy. But I also told him that I believe that my grandma is in heaven now, and that she doesn't forget anymore, and she's not hurting or confused, and that one day we are going to have so much to talk about, and that helps me to feel better. And I reminded him that for Papa, every moment with him is important because every moment he is living in is the one he remembers best. So when seeing the kiddo makes him happy, he is very, very happy and he doesn't remember feeling sad or scared or angry, even if he was just yelling a minute ago. We can still give Papa lots of good moments, because we love him.

After that, we had to go fix ourselves up because we were both extremely snotty and gross, which gave us the opportunity to make stupid jokes about whether we should waste the extremely valuable toilet paper and whether a Kleenex over one's face counts as appropriate masking. There is definitely something to be said for the period of cathartic humor after a difficult talk. To further that, we went and had some cocoa even though it was already after ten, and I let him have marshmallows and whipped cream. Carbs and sugar, hell yes! It's good for what ails you. Then we watched Micarah Tewers again because silly seamstresses is what makes us both happy these days, and by then he was feeling okay to go to bed again.

He's sleeping now, and I think he's doing all right. He said he likes talking to me like this, and I'm glad. I like talking to him too, though it is a continuing revelation to me the kind of complex inner life he has going on. I mean of course I understand that he is a real person, but internalizing the fact that he has somehow gone from being the extremely demanding wet bag of flour I brought home from the hospital ten years ago to a full-fledged self-determining individual whose thoughts and insights amaze and baffle me is an ongoing process. (He was an extremely cute bag of flour, don't get me wrong, but I swear to god, raising kids is sometimes like suddenly realizing your adorable baby kitten now has opinions on politics and wants you to defend your positions on moral virtue.)

Anyway, it's time for me to get to bed as well, because the only Walmart pickup slot I could get on Monday was for Friday at 7am. At least they're unlikely to be running behind during the first slot of the day, I guess? It's funny because I also made a Walmart pickup order for when I get back to Virginia, and they were offering me same day pickup. It seems like they may be a little bit more back to normal than we are here. I may have to check and see if they have toilet paper and yeast and everything. That would be awesome.

#quarantine #dealing with big feelings #dementia #tw: dementia #tw: end of life

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spaedia · 4 years

Text

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ.

alrighty dudes, dudettes, and everything in between. this is the last post i intend to ever make on tumblr, so listen up. in regards to the bullshit “callout” posted the other day:

CALLOUT, I GUESS, FOR DEVIL AND CO, BUT MOSTLY DEVIL BC LET’S FACE IT, WITHOUT THE SCREENSHOTS YOU PROVIDED, YOUR ARGUMENT FOR WHY WART IS A BAD PERSON IS “HE DAMAGED MY EGO OWO”. YOU SAID THIS WASN’T YOUR PROBLEM? WELL I’M MAKING IT YOUR PROBLEM, ASSHAT.

so let’s start w/ the screenshots in question. i haven’t read the callout, so idk what was used, but considering i had upwards of 5 people come to me and ask me if i was okay, i can take a guess. let the record show that all of the messages i sent to dev and norgie regarding wart was in the midst of our breakup, which was messy enough as is. when wart and i first broke up, i had dev and co blocked bc of personal reasons. devil then decided to HUNT DOWN ONE OF MY BLOGS and follow me (after i assume staking it out, bc he’s known for stalking people). i confronted him, and he gave me some shtick about how he’ll “always care about me” and i’m “still his little sister”, blah blah blah other manipulative bullcrap. against my better judgement, i let him back in.

wart was my first boyfriend. i adored him with everything i had, so naturally, this breakup left me in a bad emotional state. devil and norgie took COMPLETE ADVANTAGE OF THIS, and when i told them what happened between wart and i, immediately began twisting it to make wart out to be the bad guy. it was norgie who originally suggested that i had been emotionally abused, and in my vulnerable state, i began to see things that way.

not that it’s anyone’s business, but if you wanna know how the breakup went, it was something like this: wart’s mental state was deteriorating, i suggested maybe we take a break, immediately went back on that statement, wart broke things off the next morning. there was no emotional abuse, no threatening of suicide, no physical violence - it was a breakup. things didn’t work out. it happens. but of course, this didn’t fit dev and co’s narrative, so they needed to get me to admit things were much worse than they were. when i later came to my senses and realized this was all bullshit, devil and norgie then decided to GUILT TRIP ME by pointing out how they spent “two hours” on call with me while i cried. after i had just had my heart broken. no shit i was upset. newsflash: wart spent a lot longer with me on call while i was breaking down. hell, he broke up with me and still let me cry on his shoulder. and unlike dev and norgie, he never once acted like i owed him, because that’s what friends do. but hey, go on and talk about how wart’s the abusive one.

devil has spent years abusing my trust. every time i tell him i don’t want so speak with him, he comes back awhile later with some new apology and reasoning for his behavior. and like most toxic relationships, it was hard to let him ago, especially after losing the person i cared most about. he blatantly took advantage of my situation to fuel his vendetta. the only reason i told him anything was because he promised me he wouldn’t make a post unless wart “stepped out of line” (which, looking back, is a huge red flag: what gives him the right to police other people?). and had i not begun to confront him about all the bullshit he made me say, he probably would have held off. in fact, he told me that one of the “main reasons” he felt this “needed to come out” was because i was starting to defend wart. when i realized that dev was serious about making this callout, i told him i wanted no part of it. he asked me for screenshots of some of my and wart’s conversations, to which i gave him a hard no. did that stop him from using our personal messages in his sorry excuse for a callout? of course not. these are the type of people who don’t care about anyone except themselves, dev has made that perfectly clear. MY PRIVACY AND AN INNOCENT MAN’S WELL BEING MEANT NOTHING TO HIM. all he and his friends cared about was spurring along their vendetta. and honestly, if i was wart, i would have sued y’all for harassment and defamation of character ages ago.

with the matter of those messages out of the way, let’s move on to dev’s actual claims. this is where the defamation gets real, because he had the nerve to call wart a predator. seriously? what, because he dated someone a few years younger than him?

dev loves to throw the word pedo.phile around, despite the fact that he obviously doesn’t know what it means. pedo.philia “is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children”. i started puberty when i was twelve, and wart and i didn’t even meet until i was fifteen. so immediately, he doesn’t fit the bill for a pedo.phile. #sorrynotsorry.

but let’s work around that. let’s say, that because he was romantically attracted to me, that automatically makes him a pedo.phile. i’m going to remind everyone of something devil would love to leave buried: the fact that, when i was thirteen, and again at fourteen, devil tried to coerce me into writing smut with him, along with a sixteen year old girl. he used my trust of him to assure me that it would be fine. his excuse? “my (ex)girlfriend made me do it.” cause that’s a solid argument alright. so fine, label wart a pedo.phile. i sure hope dev’s planning on giving himself the same label, because what he did is a lot worse lmao.

i don’t have screenshots from dev and my conversations, i think he deleted that account, but here’s him w/ the other girl.

so yeah long story short: dev knew this girl was underage, still tried to smut with her. take my word that he tried with me, i guess. i don’t think he’s ever denied it.

now, admittedly, i didn’t need to bring this up, but according to devil it’s important that predators get called out, so...he brought this on himself.

now i’m going to tell y’all the story of how wart and i started dating, because it really puts a hole in this “predator” story. see, for wart to be a predator, he would have had to target me in some way (come to think of it, much like devil did to me). when wart and i got together, dev and i weren’t talking, and i never got around to telling him how this happened, only that it did. (if i did tell him, i forgot about it, and that makes it even worse bc he knows this already lmao.)

it was may sixth. i was fifteen, wart was nineteen. we had been talking for awhile, and sometime in the past week or so, i had talked to my mom about liking this guy who was older than me. she told me about her own relationships with older guys when she was my age, and that so long as he didn’t try anything, she was fine with it. so on that spring day, i confessed my feelings to wart. and y’know the first thing he said to me? “wait a few years.” a logical statement, one i probably should have taken to heart, but i was a fool in love, so i didn’t. i spent the next hour or so convincing wart to go out with me, and he eventually pitied me enough (he’d admit to something along those lines not long after) to agree. neither of us expected this to become an actual relationship, but hey, a year and a half’s not a bad run.

to make a long story short: i asked wart out, not the other way around. i begged him to date me, not the other way around. and this wasn’t some secret relationship. my parents knew from the beginning, and gave it the okay.

i think i addressed everything in that lameass “callout”, but because dev’s The Worst, i know he’s going to pull at threads to try and get his “predator” accusations to stick. i’m going to post this, and devil will immediately reply “but wait!! he is a predator: you said you two slept together!!” and then post the message where i said exactly that, added some details to make it realistic, whatever, but then fail to post the message a few days later where i told him IT WAS A HALF-BAKED STORY.

see, after wart and i broke up, i heard rumors that he and i had been sleeping together when he was up here. i’m gonna shoot those rumors down right now. a) i’m asexual and sex repulsed. i wouldn’t sleep with someone if they paid me. devil and norgie know this, but they chose to ignore it in favor of a juicy story. b) the story i gave them was incredibly inconsistent. to the point where even devil pointed out my inconsistencies, but then conveniently forgot that ever happened, then, when i told him it was bullshit, TRIED TO INSIST IT WAS TRUE. as if he knows better than i do what happened lmao. c) wart and i were never alone for more than a few minutes. my bedroom walls aren’t exactly soundproof. my bed frame is metal, it squeaks whenever i sit on it. so yeah, obviously we got away with having sex. dumbass.

now, when i heard these rumors, i decided to roll with them. what did i have to lose, right? so yeah, i spiced it up, gave devil and norgie some random details to make it realistic, and told them not to tell anyone (which as far as i know, they haven’t, so thanks for not spreading rumors i guess). when devil brought it up to me during his rant about how this callout “needed to happen”, i pretty much laughed in his face and told him it never happened. and then he tried insisting it did and i rolled my eyes so hard i think i gave myself a headache.

tl;dr: someone started rumors that wart and i slept together, i confirmed them for shits and giggles, but no, it never happened, for all the reasons stated above.

oh, and as for dev’s reason for this vendetta? he’s told wart that it was because he (wart) wrote a character that dev wanted to write. i’m still convinced it’s over a fragile ego. either way, Real Mature, dude.

NOW i think i covered anything. phew, that’s a doozy. as i said, this is the last post i intend to ever make on this hellsite, but i encourage everyone who sees this to reblog it so that we can clear a (mostly) innocent man’s name. did wart hurt me? yes. was it enough to warrant this abuse?? not in the slightest.

my discord is still on my blog if anyone wants it (unless you’re friends with devil, norgie, kirby, or anyone else involved in this. if that’s the case, i’ll see you in hell). as for my legacy on this hellsite, let it be known that i tried to fight the good fight. i hope it’s good enough.

el psy kongroo.

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hermitfool · 3 years

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On this last calendar day of a very tiring and challenging year, I decide to return to this blog. The last post I made here was in 2015. Then I forgot I had it. Probably because I didn’t use Tumblr anymore. Out of sight out of mind.

2020 had been a shit show of a year. It took me awhile to admit it. So much was happening around me that I felt I had to put on a brave face and ease other people’s worries and grief. I come home and the face is still on, telling myself it’s all good. Not realising that it was taking a toll on my body. I wasn’t acknowledging a lot of stuff and in the middle of the year my body started scaring me.

I knew something wasn’t right but I didn’t know what and I went so far back into my darkness I got lost. What scared me most were the thoughts I was having and why I couldn’t ‘see’ my way through it.

I didn’t see the signs. Perhaps I was so lost I didn’t want to see the signs. One day a good friend suggests I see a healer that I met briefly the year before. Something clicked. It was the day of the eclipse a few weeks ago. Thankfully she had the time to see me. Seeing her was what I needed. She told me everything I already knew. I say I knew but it took her to remind me that I’ve been avoiding some things because I got lost and forgot how I needed to recalibrate.

The solstice came. I wrote shit down. The full cold moon came. I read all I wrote, burned it all and got rid of the ashes. My body is feeling a little better. Next week I have to get a colonoscopy done. A little scared cos I’ve never been sedated (experimental drugs during my youth don’t count). However, I’ve calmed down from the initial freak out.

Yesterday I wrote to Cilla Conway, artist and creator of The Intuitive Tarot and The Devas of Creation. A couple of emails we exchanged. Today I reached for her deck and did a reading for my 2021. Only asked for cards to guide me through the year (9 cards) and a closing card either as lesson, reminder or overall guide. That card was Death, one of my birth cards. I smiled when I opened it.

Above is the reading I’m sharing with you.

Wishing all of us a New and Better Year. Whatever comes our way, we’re ready. I’m ready.

#tarot #thoughts #musings

0 notes

chatoyism · 4 years

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yOOOOO THIS ACCOUNT ISNT DEAD.

hey guys gals and non binary pals.

this used to be dyounqhyun also known as jungkook-peaches-and-cream (wtf).

If you happened to follow me because of my retweets, kpop one shot fanfics, any of the following or because I know you in real life, then badabing badaboom this bitch is still breathing after three years and BLOSSOMED LIKE A FAKE HOUSEPLANT.

I’ve been alive this entire time truth be told, but I never gave y’all a formal ending once I disappeared from the face of this earth back in 2017 and never spoke about it (really sorry bout that if you were expecting more content from me).

I since moved to a new tumblr account (and 210% more active on that one) using a different email and literally forgot that this email linked to this account existed. Tbh, the only thing I remembered on this account was actually my Young K Smut which I have Vietnam War flashbacks of because I don’t like my 3 year old written content.

But since I am alive and reactivated this monstrosity that is my old memories kept in the hellish depths of pre-tumblr [REDACTED] ban, I have since changed a looooooooooooot about my interests, what internet content I post, what kind of things I do for a living and what shit I’m currently up to now that could possibly be even shittier than ‘chatoyism-three-years-ago’.

Basically, I’ve changed tremendously over the course of my disappearance act that flourished three years ago and I’ve since reappeared and didn’t get a clap for it (its ok my audience consists of a turkey that gobbles anyways).

So, if any of you guys that are still alive with me and are reading this right now, all in all, I’m gonna use this abandoned trash that I didn’t want to see for awhile and make it more trashier by posting fanfictions that I had YET to post or wrote within the three year span I disappeared in.

Like I said, I have since changed a lot about the content I like and I did actually post fan fiction outside of tumblr until I retired from writing earlier during this sHITTY YEAR CALLED NONO SIDEWAYS.

If you guys want to ask any questions about me, want to know anything in particular about what I have been doing while I was gone and or just wanna talk, hit me up in the ask submissions box and I’ll answer them ASAP!

‘Kay. I’m hungry.

Ciao.

#oh my god im alive

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poeticsandaliens · 6 years

Text

Laws of Motion

I wrote this a year or so ago on AO3 but never posted it on Tumblr (Update: apparently I had already posted it; I just forgot). I was going through old NCIS tags, rekindling my outrage at CBS because apparently that’s what I do when I can’t sleep at night. I remembered I had this up—it’s my personal headcanon. NCIS canon ends after season 3 back when it made sense.

Not long ago, it occurred to me that Stella Gibson was the type of character Jenny Shepard could have been if the writers hadn’t... y’know... fucked up. This mysterious, casually badass woman who could kill you with words. They were similar...

my neurons fire weirdly, I think, because this is the result. Jenny Shepard and Stella Gibson would make one hell of a power couple, and I can’t help but think they’d be compelling.

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10017227

The bench was an unseemly shade of grey, its boards chipped and legs rusted. Weeds poked through the sidewalk at its feet, and various young couples had inscribed their love into its wood. But after sundown, it was reborn, glowing beneath the street lamps and moonlight that varnished nightly.

Jenny had grown accustomed to the omnipresent bench, had in her mind marked the seat as her own. It aged with her—day to day, it remained unchanging, but as she acquired wrinkles and smile lines the bench acquired chips and splinters. So every night she worked late, drove to the grocery store on her way home and sometimes the liquor store, and across the street from men in polyester suits purchasing daily Merlot, the bench slept.

Today, though, the old bench presented an entirely new scene. The October wind nipping at her neck had kept couples off their evening strolls, and she’d left work considerably later. The moon cast a cold glow overhead, like a refrigerator light bulb on its last breaths, and DC had turned to a black and white photograph. The only colors in sight were neon street signs, the buzzing red letters marking the theater, the late night coffeehouse, the liquor store she’d just stepped out of.

Suddenly, Jenny felt old—not physically; no, she felt as though she’d been thrown back in time, to a darker city on a grittier day. She felt less crisp; her sharp haircut felt out of place. October always brought with it the taint of old noir. Something about the cold, windy nights allowed history to encroach on present DC. Jenny didn’t object to it, as long as it went away in time of the holidays.

The centerpiece of the scene was a petite woman in a trenchcoat, her breath turning to fog beneath the streetlight, a violin nestled in the crook of her neck. She was sharp-faced, severe in the misaligned way Jenny was not. Her blonde hair was loose over her shoulders, her face freckled and weathered. She was perfectly crooked, as if mid-October had manifested in a human body. She played a haunting tune in a minor key.

Jenny stalked across the empty street, her head cocked curiously. “Evening, Stella," she said with a wan smile. "I didn't know you played."

Stella put down her violin. “No rest for the wicked,” she quipped with a rolling British lilt.

“Very Sherlock Holmes of you."

Stella’s eyes drifted to the hotel a block away. “I didn’t want to disturb my neighbors.”

Jenny sat down on the old bench, and it creaked dangerously. “It’s been awhile,” she said softly.

“Yes,” said Stella, “I suppose it has.”

“You seem lost. First time in London?” A young blonde dropped onto the stool next to her. “I’ll have a Scotch,” she called to the bartender.

Jenny shook her head. “No. Just tired.” She didn’t talk to strangers, not normally.

The woman held out her hand. “DCI Stella Gibson.”

“Special Agent Jennifer Shepard,” she replied, arching her eyebrow. She had never felt underdressed before this moment, staring at DCI Gibson’s silk blouse and five inch heels. Buttoned up, hair pinned tightly to the back of her head, Jenny felt distinctly uncomfortable. She felt like she was lying—she was certainly not the perfect professional pin-up she portrayed herself to be in front of her superiors. But that was the price of ambition in DC. It was a small price to pay.

“FBI?” Stella asked, tucking an icy blonde curl behind her ear.

Jenny shook her head, taking a sip of her beer. “NCIS.”

A small noise of surprise escaped Stella’s lips. NCIS didn’t likely turn up in a London pub every night.

“I was surprised to hear your name when the FBI said they’d brought in a consultant in the Lacy Brown case,” Jenny confessed.

“Unfortunately…” Stella hummed, trailing into silence. Her voice dropped darkly. “Your country isn’t very good at catching sexual predators.”

Jenny snorted. “No shit.” Then her expression grew solemn as the implications of Stella’s words sank in. “No, we're not,” she mused. “I wish that could change.”

Stella cocked her head. “Then change it. You’re the director of NCIS now.” She paused. “First female director of an armed federal agency. That’s quite something, Jennifer.”

“We’ve never had a female director,” admitted Jenny with a grim chuckle. She took a swig of her beer. “Men see female ambition as an affront to their masculinity. It’s a shame, but I guess it leaves the title to me one day.”

Stella cocked her eyebrow. “Going to claw your way through the ranks of misogyny and militarism?”

Jenny nodded staunchly. “Yep. Prove them all wrong.”

“What to do then?”

She shrugged. “Shift our outlook on national security. Advocate for all the women in government jobs who don’t get their due. I’ve got the kinds of ideas that only work if implemented in a high place.”

Jenny sighed wistfully. “It’s something,” she said, “but it’s not all I hoped. I have to demand the kind of formal respect from my agents that my predecessors didn’t. Don’t get me wrong; I’m trying to change the system, but I didn’t expect so much condescension on the political end.”

Stella pursed her lips. “I felt the same condescension when I was promoted to Detective Superintendent. I know that most of my female colleagues have felt the same. It breeds isolation, anxiety, overwhelming pressure.”

Jenny was no stranger to those demons, all burdens she’d born since college. Perhaps even longer, if she willed herself to remember.

“Is that why you brought the violin?” she asked, eyeing the sleek, russet violin on Stella’s lap.

The detective shook her head. She looked older in the moonlight, her profile more defined. Like she was slowly, constantly falling from grace and was happy of it. Jenny would be happy of it too. Grace was overrated.

“Come back to my flat, Special Agent Jennifer Shepard.”

The offer was forward, tempting, and hardly a surprise. Stella Gibson sat with her legs spread in dark slacks and her elbows in her lap. She smelled of mahogany, roses, and hard liquor; her voice carried a swagger. There was a confidence about her demeanor that Jenny found quite irresistible. She’d always been drawn to the strong, taciturn John Wayne types, the weathered cowboy types who sought justice and spoke everything deliberately. But a man didn’t always understand the fine distinctions between strength and hyper-masculinity, handsome chivalry and condescending chauvinism. Stella Gibson saw the line clear as day.

Jenny glanced at her watch. She didn’t have to report until 8:00 the next morning.

“Come to my hotel room?” she suggested with a curve of her cherry red lips.

Stella cocked her head, and in the dim light, Jenny noticed freckles adorning her aquiline nose and angular cheeks. They fit, somehow.

“All right, Jennifer.” Stella waved the bartender over and paid her tab. “Lead on.”

“What were you playing?” Jenny asked. “On the violin, I mean.”

Stella shrugged. “I haven’t the slightest clue. I learned it as a child.”

“It sounds melancholy.”

“So does every piece on the violin.” Stella smiled thinly, her eyes pale in the moonlight.

“You have owl’s eyes,” A cold blue-grey, round and wise and curious. Jenny could hold her liquor with eloquence, but it came at the expense of thinking before she spoke.

“Do I?” Stella murmured, and Jenny couldn’t tell whether she was flattered or taken aback.

Stella put the violin aside and leaned her elbows on her knees. Jenny ran her fingers through newly cropped copper hair. Sharply dressed, still but for the wind, they became statues to the rare passerby. Their hair and sleeves ruffled discreetly, their eyes drifted about, but their bodies clung to the bench as if they were drowning, and the bench’s rotting wood was the life raft the city had thrown to them.

The moon vanished behind a blanket of thickening clouds that roiled and danced within themselves. Jenny had always been fond of cloudy nights. “When you said we should see each other again, this wasn’t what I expected,” she said, pulling her coat tighter over her shoulders.

“Well I didn’t expect to see you again,” replied Stella softly. “I didn’t expect I would want to see you again. But you rather intrigued me.”

“I’d ask if it was the sex or the wit, but I’m not certain I want to know the answer.”

“Well,” Stella chuckled, “it was very good sex.”

She pulled apart the buttons on Stella’s blouse, careful not to rip the thin material. They were alike in their tastes for lingerie—their personal elegance, for no satisfaction but their own. Stella’s lips captured hers; Stella’s tongue grazed her teeth. She reached for the clasp on the detective’s elaborate bra and pulled it off.

Jenny rested her hands on Stella’s hips, still in slacks, and broke the kiss for air. Her bare back pressed against the wall of her hotel room, and she could hear, far below her, swing playing from a shop on the street. Not the usual, energetic swing, but the slow, sultry blues.

She’d once been told that she had the voice of a jazz singer. It wasn’t true; Jenny couldn’t sing to save her life. But in this moment, a throaty moan escaping her lips, she understood the remark. She and Stella Gibson, they spoke with a common thread, a roughness that only came with trials and vices. Stella’s fingers found the edge of her skirt, and a shiver danced up her spine as they slipped inside. She bumped against the detective’s nose, clumsily searching for her lips, eventually giving up and kissing her way to the hollow of Stella’s collarbone.

Stella’s hands pushed up her skirt, tugged her to the queen bed, with few formalities found their way to her aching center. The muffled swing music rippled in and out of her hearing, as if she were miles beneath the ocean surface. As if mermaids were femme fatales with record players and pistols and police titles.

“I wish we’d kept in better touch,” Jenny admitted, as a nearly empty restaurant across the street played Billboard’s Top 100. She liked Stella’s music better.

Stella closed her owl's eyes. “It’s nice to have someone scaling the mountain with you.”

“You’re quite a remarkable person, Detective-Superintendent Gibson.”

“As are you, Director Shepard.”

Jenny gathered her purse. “I should go,” she said flatly. She stood, as if to leave, then froze in place as Stella reached for her violin and bow. “Will you be here later?”

“I might play one more song. Clears the mind.”

“Come back with me.” Jenny turned around, catching Stella’s eye as she tuned the delicate instrument in her lap. Her lips spread inadvertently into a playful smirk. “Come away with me, Stella Gibson,” she teased as if the slight tremble in her voice was entirely undetectable. She was completely sober this time, and the words on her lips didn’t slip so easily as they had in London, years before. Stella’s eyes, she mused, would always startle her, as would the genuine admiration she had for this stern, mysterious detective perched on her rotting bench in October.

Stella returned the smile like Peter Pan’s shadow and rose to her feet. “Perhaps my hotel room? It’s closer.”

#jenny shepard #stella gibson #jenny x stella #ncis #the fall #gillian anderson #fight me #i love this ship #this empty little ship

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sonofadeanwinchester · 7 years

Text

Almost (1) The Stupid Dream

Summary: Your long time boyfriend, Jensen, broke up with you with the only explanation being that you're still in love with your old high school flame, Sebastian.

Words: 1914

Sebastian Stan x Reader ; Chris Evans x Reader ; Jensen Ackles x Reader ; Carly Evans x Reader

A/N: I wrote this awhile a go and completely forgot about it ... PLEASE let me know if you want more. I posted this on AO3 but I wanted it on tumblr too.

"Baby, we were good. We were almost perfect." He stuttered the words out.

I looked at his green eyes, the clearest of green much like a wide open field as his words spewed out of his lips. "What?"

He shrugged, the tears he was holding back finally coming forth and soaking his cheeks. "We were good together. But now-."

I put a hand on my chest, "are you breaking up with me?"

He nodded, his eyes avoiding my gaze. My mother had the exact same look in her eyes the day she left my father. I felt a pang of anger fill my bones. He licked his lips and started to walk away. "I just can't do this anymore, (Y/N). It's too painful to watch you throw your life away on some stupid dream."

I jolted my head back like I had been slapped. "Excuse me? What stupid dream?"

"You know-."

"No, actually, I don't know, Jensen. Why don't you enlighten me."

He shrugged again, "the dream that you gain back the affection of your high school sweetheart."

I laughed, a sinister sound. "You think I'm still in love with Sebastian?"

He nodded, "I don't think .. I know."

"Like hell you do. It's been almost five years since we last seen each other. We've both moved on and found other people. Besides, he's some big actor now." I waved my hand through the air trying to get my point across.

"So? Just because he's some big actor now doesn't mean he doesn't have real, human feelings for people. Especially people who he has previously dated and came to love." He ran a hand over his cheeks and nodded. "I just can't sit back and play second fiddle to this guy. I won't. Not anymore." He opened the door and looked back one final time before shutting it slowly.

I fell to the ground and wrapped my hands around my legs, the sobs convulsing my chest. My fiance and boyfriend of four years just broke up with me because he thought I was still in love with my high school boyfriend. Sebastian probably doesn't even remember me, let alone still have feelings for me.

We grew up together, our parents living next door to each other until Sebastian and I both moved out. We were best friend up until grade eight when I realized I was incredibly attracted to him and we started dating the summer between eight and nine. We had been together from freshman year to senior year and when he got his acceptance letter to NYU for acting, well, I didn't get in. I didn't get into any schools in New York. He tried to sound positive as if we could stay together through all of this. But, I was the one who stayed in reality. I told him to follow his dream to be an actor and in Broadway as I moved California and studied at UCLA. I haven't spoken to him since that day I left him standing in the rain as I broke his heart and broke mine as well.

Lost in my daze, I never felt my phone ring until it was nearing voicemail. I looked down and CARLY splayed across the screen. My first friend during freshman year at college and now my best friend during adulthood. She had been there for me when everything felt like it was falling apart when Sebastian and I separated and she had been there for me when I found out my brother was joining the army. And now, she would be here for me when I tell her Jensen just ripped my heart out.

"Hey." I tried to sound upbeat, not like a total loser but she caught on real quick.

"Hey-. Woah, what happened?" Her voice started out happy but now it sounded concerned and troubled. "Hey, (Y/N), talk to me. What's going on?"

I forced the lump growing in my throat down and bit my lip until I tasted blood. "Jensen just broke up with me."

She gasped and then silence for what seemed forever. "What?"

I chuckled, not because it was funny but because it was my reaction to this stupid situation. "Jensen just broke up with me like five minutes ago."

"Holy sh-." She scoffed. "That dirtbag."

I shrugged, even though she couldn't see it. "Yeah."

"Why? Did he say why?"

I nodded and hummed my response. "He said he wouldn't play second fiddle to him."

She laughed, "Him? Is he seriously talking about Sebastian?"

I snorted, "guess I don't hide my feelings very well."

She sighed, "no, you've never been good at that but, I mean, it took him long enough to catch on." I sighed deep and she apologized quickly. "I'm sorry. I know you love him."

I felt a tear escape my eye and trickle down my cheek. "I do, I really do." I stood up, gathering little strength and walked over to my apartment window that over looked my side of Manhattan. "What am I suppose to do now?"

She chuckled, "you should call Sebastian."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "I'm sorry?"

She laughed lightly, "you know you still love him and you're always gonna love him so why not call him?"

"Carly, he's not gonna remember little old me. He's a somebody now while I sit back and continue to be a nobody." Self-pity was never my go to method for feeling better but right now, in this situation, it seemed the only way to fix something. Not sure what ... but something.

"Listen to me, you are not a nobody, you are one hundred percent a somebody. I'm almost positive that he'd remember you. You're amazing, definitely worth remembering."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "I just need time, obviously."

She agreed with a hum. "Of course. Just don't dwell too long on this."

------

I fell asleep, every night the next two weeks to the sounds of my own tears falling onto my pillow as I held tightly onto a shirt Jensen left here. He was here to gather most of his stuff and refused to speak to me. He just grunted as he puttered around the apartment and threw things into a box. The only time he spoke to me was when it came to our DVD and CD collection. "You want the Disney ones' right?"

I looked at him, anger and sorrow in my eyes and clicked my tongue. "Do you want them?"

He nodded, "I guess so."

"Then, yes, I'll take them."

He scoffed, "why are you being like this?"

I flipped him the finger and snorted. "You're joking, right? Why am I behaving so heart-broken and bitter? Maybe because I love you and you broke my heart. You ripped it into three thousands different pieces and now you're here asking me if I want the damn Disney CDs? Get out, Jensen. Have someone else come pick up your shit." He started to protest when I dragged him by his jacket to the door and pushed him hard out, slamming the door in his face. Enter crying like a baby now.

I cried for what seemed like forever when a knock shook me out of my tears and caused me to stand up in record time. "Jensen, go away."

"It's Carly."

I opened the door and walked away, giving her space to enter. "Hey."

She smiled at me, tossing me a burrito and placing a case of beer on the counter. "Why did you think I was Jensen?"

I snorted, shoving the food into my mouth faster than what should be humanly possible. "Because that asshole was here earlier. He was doing good until he asked me if I wanted the Disney CDs and then I blew up at him and told him to get someone else to get his stuff."

She laughed, "good for you." She cleared her throat. "My brother's back in town."

I widened my eyes and smirked. "Chris is here? In New York?"

She nodded, "yeah, he got in last night."

Did I forget to mention that Carly is the long lost sister of our good friend, Chris Evans? Oh yeah, they're related and I haven't seen him since last Christmas. I don't know how I managed to run into a girl who was related to the one and only. "You guys planning anything special for tonight?"

She shrugged, "probably pizza and some beer. Why?"

I nodded slowly and fiddled with my sweater. "Just wondering, maybe we could catch a movie or something-." The sound of knocking on the door startled me and I jumped slightly. "Dammit." I walked over and opened the door without peeking first. Standing before me, was the god like man Chris Evans himself. "Chris, hey." My face deepened in so many shades of red that he laughed, throwing his head back and clutching at his chest.

"Hey, (Y/N)." He leaned in, kissed my forehead then walking around me finding Carly, hugging her tightly. "Nice to see you again." He looked around and sighed. "You moving or something?"

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "Nah."

He nodded, pouting his lips. "Looks kinda of bare since last year .. and all the boxe-." His eyes grew wide and he sighed deep, walking to me, kissing my hair and holding me tight against him. "Jensen?"

I nodded and he tsked his tongue. "Chris, it's okay, really."

He rolled his eyes, "how long has it been?"

I shrugged, "I don't know ... two or three weeks."

"Shit .. I'm sorry to hear you guys didn't work out. Really. I liked him." He smiled with his lips. "You called Sebas-."

Carly hit him and I shook my head a little too quick. "No, thanks for asking though." It came out harsher than intended, grabbing a can of beer off the counter, I continued. "I didn't and I'm not going to."

The one crappy thing about having the sister to a big actor as a best friend is that he knows other big actors. And unfortunately for me, he's best friends with Sebastian. They met each other on the set of Captain America: The First Avenger and they've been inseparable since. "Why not? You know, he talks about you a lot."

I laughed out loud and shook my head. "No, Chris, no. You're not allowed to tell me stuff like that. I don't want to know that he-. Wait, he talks about me? He remembers me?"

Chris stood there, his jaw slack and a stupid idiotic look on his face. "Uh, yeah. Didn't you guys date for like five years?"

I nodded and shrugged, "yeah but, there's no reason for him to remember me."

He chuckled, "I disagree. He says it was happiest when he was with you. When you broke up with to pursue UCLA, it crushed him."

I rolled my eyes, "fabulous, he told you all this?" I huffed. "In my defense I did that so he could pursue his dream of acting .. but no, I'm made to look like the bad guy." I rolled my eyes trying to get my point across.

He shrugged, smirking. "I have the advantage of hearing both sides of the story. But from what I can tell, you both miss and still love each other."

I refused to acknowledge that Chris just said something that's been eating at me for years. "You guys wanna order a pizza?"

Chris nodded, chuckling to himself. "Knew it."

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebstan #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #jensen ackles #jensen ackles fanfiction

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vowel-in-thug · 7 years

Link

The SilverFlint Mixtape Vol. 2 (9521 words) by vowelinthug Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: Black Sails Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Captain Flint/John Silver Additional Tags: Tumblr Prompt Summary:

a bunch of tumblr prompts i wrote awhile ago and posted on my tumblr and then totally forgot to put on ao3

some fics include: roleplay, a vague understanding of the greek language, romantic conversations on cannibalism

M because only one of these is Explicit, so it's a little like playing russian roulette with boners

#black sails #silverflint #black sails fanfic #none of this is new content #i'm just trying to stay organized #for once in my fucking life #i have a punch of prompts in my inbox that are like months old and this point because i'm pathetic #i'll get to them eventually #hey look it's my suffering

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ao3feed-silverflint · 7 years

Text

The SilverFlint Mixtape Vol. 2

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2sDYhYA

by vowelinthug

a bunch of tumblr prompts i wrote awhile ago and posted on my tumblr and then totally forgot to put on ao3

some fics include: roleplay, a vague understanding of the greek language, romantic conversations on cannibalism

M because only one of these is Explicit, so it's a little like playing russian roulette with boners

Words: 2306, Chapters: 2/6, Language: English

Fandoms: Black Sails

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Relationships: Captain Flint/John Silver

Additional Tags: Tumblr Prompt

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2sDYhYA

#black sails #starzblacksails #captain flint #john silver #silverflint #fanfic #ao3feed

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yumikoflare · 7 years

Text

wowie this is a loooong meme - thanks for the tag @wildricebear more like wild loser bear...........

Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people. (putting it under the cut bc it’s 100+ questions!)

1. What is your nickname? i go by yumi! my rl nickname has the same amount of letters 🤔

2. What is your zodiac sign? aqua sun / scorp moon

3. What is your favorite book series? not gonna lie i havent read any book series in a looong time but my fav manga series is fukigen na mononokean!

4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? ofc, i believe in both!

5. Who is your favorite author? errr i honestly don’t have one ahaha but sunrisesongs has some reaaaally nice poetry if that counts

6. What is your current favorite song? rn i’m a huuuge fan of kenshi yonezu’s suna no wakusei, namely the soramafu cover!

7. What is your favorite word? uhh don’t have one.. but the word ‘warmth’ has always struck a chord in me?

8. What was the last song you listened to? i think it was ra ra rasputin b/c someone at band was playing it on his phone LOL

9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? i don’t watch tv oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ can’t think of anime recs either smhhh

10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i don’t watch movies if i’m feeling down but i remember enjoying the intern?

11. Do you play video games? mmm a little bit.. i play overwatch and sometimes osu and ive played a couple of mmorpgs here and there

12. What is your biggest fear? losing my purpose and passion

13. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i’m a good friend! i think that counts

14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my lack of patience and intolerance to trials

15. What is your favorite season? winter!!!!!!

16. Are you in a relationship? nah

17. What is something you miss from your childhood? honestly? i don’t miss much in particular from my childhood other than that Sweet Naive Bliss™ because things have been getting better in my life since then so

18. Who is your best friend? nizh, swirl, mari, gil, noah, sam, laura, kayla come to mind

19. What is your eye color? dark brown

20. What is your hair color? dark brown

21. Who is someone you love? all my friends...........

22. Who is someone you trust? the friends i listed earlier!!!

23. Who is someone you think about often? honestly as of recently myself bc im working on bettering myself LOL but other than that, i think of noah kinda often?

24. Are you currently excited about/for something? uuuuhhhh not particularly

25. What is your biggest obsession? currently overwatch

26. What was your favorite TV show as a child? probably spongebob aldsakdsla

27. Do you have any unusual phobias? mmmmmm not sure but my anxiety makes a lot of small things scary so

28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? both!!!!

29. What is your favorite hobby? honestly not sure... i like writing but recently i’ve been very into photo and video editing so!!!

30. What was the last book you read? probably the hiding place

31. What was the last movie you watched? goosebumps i think? watched it at home w/ my mom bc she hadnt seen it before

32. What musical instruments do you play, if any? [[[the sound of me, panicked, aggressively slamming my mallets into a timpani can be heard in the distance]]]

33. What is your favorite animal? dogs.... i love dogs

34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? hm i rly like yamiiino, kaiami, tofuvi, star-plasma, and zandraart!

35. What superpower do you wish you had? healing factor!!!

36. When and where do you feel most at peace? idk, whenever really, surrounded in my closest friends; either that or doing something i love alone

37. What makes you smile? my friends...... also getting praised......

38. What sports do you play, if any? FUNNY JOKE i cant sports

39. What is your favorite drink? hell....... i love lots of different types of teas (black, green, jasmine, honey, etc) and im also a sucker for matcha... and i also like ice blended drinks... and (virgin bc im underage) mojitos.... and smoothies.......... fdgkjkdf i love drinks a lot ok

40. Are you afraid of heights? yes 10000%

41. What is your biggest pet peeve? close-mindedness and intolerance to other ppl/ideas/etc + having to waste resources

42. Have you ever been to a concert? only one! was a mayday parade concert earlier this year

43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? like everything LOL a singer and an author were prob my biggest ones tho

44. What fictional world would you like to live in? HONESTLY the fukigen na mononokean world would be cool to live in...

45. What is something you worry about? i simultaneously really like and dread band asdlsakdas

46. Are you scared of the dark? yup orz

47. Do you like to sing? heck yea!!!! singing is so good.....

48. Have you ever skipped school? no bc im a goody two-shoes™

49. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dunno! i don’t have one! the world’s so big there’s so many places i still have yet to go!!!

50. Where would you like to live? honestly idk i’m happy with where i am now LOL

51. Do you have any pets? i wish......... i want a doggo so bad but my sister and i are allergic

52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? i don’t feel like either but i’m closer to a night owl

53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? both..... the sky is a goddess and im in love with her.....

54. Do you know how to drive? i’m an anxious minor who is too afraid to get near the wheel LOL

55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones bc earbuds always fall outta my ears and its a Pain

56. Have you ever had braces? nope B)

57. What is your favorite genre of music? ummmmm i don’t have a fav bc i’m kinda flexible but i like alt rock? and j-rock/j-pop?

58. Who is your hero? to be completely honest idk if i have one LOL im my own hero™ B))))

59. Do you read comic books? nah

60. What makes you the most angry? probably the same as #41 as well as like myself?? bc i get frustrated with myself v often and that concept makes me angry asdsa;ldas

61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? nizh wrote “i like real books but i’m so lazy that i’m more likely to read digital” and i am in agreement

62. What is your favorite subject in school? errrrrrrrr i suppose la? but i’m abt to enter some new classes and learn under totally new teachers so idk it’s bound to change!

63. Do you have any siblings? ye, one older sister

64. What was the last thing you bought? a flowy cardigan from yesterday!!!! im lov it.... i might post a pic of it

65. How tall are you? 5′1′’ and 3/8 sdfkjsdijeiwjeje

66. Can you cook? yo i wish..................

67. What are three things that you love? my friends, music, food/drinks LOL

68. What are three things that you hate? same as #41 and a third thing would prob be conflict?? idk

69. What is your sexual orientation? as far as i know i experience no sexual attraction (asexual) and i experience romantic attraction to anyone and everyone (panromantic) so!

70. Where do you currently live? socal

71. Who was the last person you texted? probably nizh

72. When was the last time you cried? mmmm maybe a week or two ago... i cant recall exactly when so thats good

73. Who is your favorite YouTuber? oooohhh.. im super mainstream but i love arikadou LOL also zylbrad, seagull, and etika

74. Do you like to take selfies? i do! i usually only take selfies like every once in awhile when im feeling cute and when i do i take A Lot

75. What is your favorite app? i lov line camera?? also google photos makes things mucho convenient

76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? tbh i find my relationship with my parents to be closer than a lot of my friends’ so :0

77. What is your favorite foreign accent? i dunno! french accents are pretty cool

78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? japan! also the philippines

79. What is your favorite number? idk but i like 5 and 8

80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? both freak me out but the ocean is pretty interesting

81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not in the slightest LOLOL

82. Are you allergic to anything? intolerant to eggs, pretty allergic to any type of nuts so that sucks, n i got those Seasonal Allergies

83. Can you wiggle your ears? NO I HAVENT READ HARRY POTTER

84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? umm idk how often LOL whenever i think im wrong..?? which is somewhat frequently?

85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forests are lovely

86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? honestly idk......... i remember my dad said smth about how you don’t always have to forgive everyone and by saying ‘it’s okay’ permits the other person to repeat the same action, so i choose my words rly carefully now bc of that :o

87. Are you a good liar? kinda half n half... depends on what i’m lying abt

88. What is your Hogwarts House? iiiiii forgot but it was either ravenclaw or hufflepuff... mightve been the former

89. Do you talk to yourself? YEAH especially when i’m practicing music or video editing

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

91. Do you keep a journal/diary? as of very recently yes bc my therapist recommended me to do so :0

92. Do you believe in second chances? usually in most circumstances

93. Do you believe that people are capable of change? oh yeah definitely, anyone is capable of change, it just depends on their attitude towards it

94. Are you ticklish? yes i hate it

95. Have you ever been on a plane? yep, to san francisco and sacramento and i guess once to texas but that was before i could remember so

96. Do you have any piercings? nope and i don’t rly want any tbh

97. What fictional character do you wish was real? i have nooo idea there’s a lot of thought i’d have to put into this question LOL

98. Do you have any tattoos? nah but if i did they’d be veeeery simplistic

99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? probably when i decided 1-2 years ago that i wanted to get my life back on track so i could become a person i could love and ive been making progress little by little ever since then

100. Do you believe in karma? mmmmm not reaaallyyyy..... like maybe a little bit but

101. Do you wear glasses or contacts? its ya girl almost legally blind and wearing contacts

102. Do you want children? not sure yet but probably

103. Who is the smartest person you know? no clue omg there are lots of smart ppl in this world

104. What is your most embarrassing memory? sometime in grade school i was sitting at the edge of a playground slide pleading for my friend not to push me down bc i rly had to pee but she did and i literally just pissed all over the slide and we just stared at each other for a long time and that was just........ Very Bad - I HAVE ANOTHER BAD MEMORY THOUGH it wasnt even long ago kill me??? i was at my friend’s house for dinner and her parents asked what my sister was studying and my sister just recently got into college and i had a veeeeeeeery vague grasp on what she was studying so i literally said ‘food and tectonics’ and i wanNA MCDIE BC I MEANT DIETETICS NOT T E C T O N I C S

105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? mmm not a real one.. most ive done is stayed up til 6amish with nizh before goin to sleep ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like i’m definitely capable of doing it i just don’t want to

106. What color are most of your clothes? dunno? i have a fairly colorful wardrobe but i almost always wear something w/ black if i’m not going for an all light outfit

107. Do you like adventures? depends on where to bc im very cautious LOL

108. Have you ever been on TV? nope

109. How old are you? how old is ur moM!! dab dab haha xd

110. What is your favorite quote? one of my favs is “there are no happy endings, endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle and a very happy start” by shel silverstein; i have a few others but thats the first that comes to mind

111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory tbhhhh

112. Have your friends ever badly disapponted you? umm not badly but ive been mildly disappointed by a few LOL

113. What is your favorite scent? that clean/fresh linen smell?? and also lavender and then light stuff like eucalyptus mint

114. Random fact you know? the duck-billed platypus can’t keep its eyes open underwater, so it finds its prey by using sensors in its bill that detect electrical impulses n then they strike! theyre pretty cool animals..

115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships? nizh said “hard. just, really hard. not sure if it’s worth it” and i also agree

IT IS OVER wow ok 20 ppl is kind of a lot and this is a loooot of questions so im only gonna tag a tiny bit of ppl (dont have to do it if u dont wanna!): @dunmerhealer | @aftertaste-of-memes | @inspiringnokias yeah that’s it LOL this is just Hella Long so idk how many ppl would be up for doin this so ye ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#personal

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adventures-in-existing · 7 years

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It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these. @sayonarashadow shared this after being tagged by someone. I follow her on my main, so it came up on my timeline, and she encouraged anyone who wanted to to answer. Some of these questions are the same as ones I’ve already done, but I don’t really care.

Name: Alston

Nickname(s): Als (by my mom and my sister), Al or more occasionally A-L (by my roommate and some of his friends. Some of the alumni from my school’s rugby team gave me a nickname when they brought me to a bar after one of our games early in the fall season (I had walked off on my own once we were done. I had almost no experience of being on a team like that so I didn’t know I shouldn’t have done that.) They called me it maybe once, but it was a bit silly anyway and didn’t really stick.

Zodiac sign: Gemini (cusp w/ Taurus.) Means pretty much nothing to me though, and I never thought Gemini fit me very well.

Height: Last time I went to the doctor I was measured at 5′3″. I was excited because usually I’m 5′2″. :/

Orientation: Bi.

Ethnicity: USA (European heritage, from Germany/Switzerland/Norway or maybe Russia. My ancestors have been in the US for varying amounts of time, but none are particularly recent

Favorite fruit: Kumquats. They’re fun to eat because they almost seem like tiny oranges, but you can pop the whole thing into your mouth, peel and all. And the peel is actually sweet.

Favorite season: winter I guess.

Favorite book series: I mostly prefer standalone books, but I still love Harry Potter.

Favorite flower: I guess petunias, but mostly because of that picture I have on here from a while back from my community college campus that looks pretty cool.

Favorite scent: Inside a container of Jelly Belly jelly beans 😵

Coffee, tea, or cocoa: I like them all in different ways at different times. I’d probably choose cocoa if I had to pick.

Cat or dog person: Love them both for different reasons, but if i was getting a pet right now, I think I’d go for a dog.

Average hours of sleep: Lately I feel like it’s been mostly around 4 or something. I know that’s bad, but I can’t make myself care.

Favorite fictional character: Probably still just Yossarian from Catch-22 and Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog. IDK

OTP: I am have never really been that into shipping. Most of the fanfic I wrote when I was younger was not romantically focused at all, and when there was a subplot in there it was between two of my OCs. One notable exception is the angsty House/Chase fanfic (from the show House, MD) I tried to write when I was 13. Didn’t get very far. Not sure if someone made a cutesy name for that pairing or not.

Dream trip: Getting on a plane to San Francisco and not moving away again.

Blogs created: This is the one I use the most, but it does no have the capabilities of a main blog because I created it a while after I made @somethingsifound to keep track of stuff I discovered while out and about. Back in 2011 the first time I tried to go to college I had a tumblr for a while. 18-year-old me made me cringe less than I expected, but I still deactivated when I remembered about it a bit ago. Before I jumped on the Tumblr bandwagon I had some Wordpress blogs. The first one I made I was examining an issue I discussed on my first Tumblr too. I just found it. Never posted much on it but it wasn’t the worst thing ever. I later made a Wordpress blog where I tried to write something short and poetic every day, but it devolved into me posting lists of the interesting random things I tried at the grocery store. I think I also had a blog on Wordpress where I posted the entries from a journal I kept during a really rough week in my life around the same time I made the others on Wordpress, but I’m not positive.

Number of followers: 18 on here, plus 3 on my main.

Not gonna tag anyone. Do this if you want.

EDIT: Just realized I forgot all about the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series when discussing book series. I really hate Mostly Harmless and haven’t bothered to read And Another Thing ... since it’s by a different author, but I mostly love it. Though I did realize all the most major female characters I remember showing up at various points in the series being somehow annoying. Haven’t really analyzed why; they just bug me. (I’m mostly talking Trillian, Fenchurch, and Random. Maybe I forgot someone.)

Edited again to fix the placement of the ellipsis in the title And Another Thing... because I’m dumb and had placed it at the beginning instead of the end.

#Questions #about me #text post

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setsunameioh · 7 years

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Autumn Colors

anyways here’s a Serasono oneshot that I wrote awhile back but never posted on tumblr. I finished revising it recently, so I thought I would go ahead and do just that!

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about, Sera-chan?"

"I've told you already, Sonoko- it's a surprise!"

Sera's cheerful sounding voice was all that Sonoko could hear- other than the crunching sound of leaves beneath her feet. Not only had she woken her up long before the crack of dawn, rousing complaints from both of her parents about the early morning visitor, but she had also dragged her all the way out to here- wherever here was she thought, considering she had completely no idea. She'd been blindfolded, after all, Sera's white teeth flashing in a bright grin the last thing she saw before the white cloth was wrapped around her eyes, blocking her vision.

"It had better be worth it, getting me up this early in the morning. The sun's not even up yet!" Sonoko couldn't help but huff, puffing out her cheeks. Nevertheless, she let Sera guide her along, the girl carefully having placed one hand around her shoulder, navigating her through what she was pretty certain was some kind of forest, given the sound of crunching leaves that seemed to happen with every step. Every so often she would tell her to softly watch her step, carefully guiding her over some unseen obstacle, making certain that she never lost her balance or tripped. To be honest, that, at the very least, was something she had no complaints about.

The brisk autumn air sent a slight shiver down her spine, and though she couldn't see it, she could feel hot air billowing out as she breathed. It was already starting to get a bit colder, especially before the sun came up to provide them with some much needed warmth. Sera had instructed her to dress warmly, and to wear sensible shoes- to which Sonoko had complied, or well... she had, for the most part.

Perhaps a miniskirt was not her best choice. She should have at least put on some stockings to go with it in hindsight, but she'd still been half asleep when she got dressed as it was. She hadn't thought of it at the time.

"Trust me, it'll be worth it." Sera promised her. "Oh, be careful here." Carefully taking Sonoko's hand with her free one, she helped her step over something- maybe a tree root, or a fallen log, she thought to herself. "It's just a little bit further now, Sonoko."

"Yes, yes." Sonoko heaved a long sigh. Truth be told, she didn't mind being this close to Sera- having her arm wrapped around her shoulder, the warmth of her body seeping into her, was rather nice, actually. Were it not so early in the morning, she would probably actually enjoy it. "But I don't see why you had to wake me up so early. I'm not really a morning person, you know."

"It has to be morning, or it's no good!" Sera insisted, and Sonoko could almost hear the bright smile on her face. "Ah, we're here!"

Finally, Sonoko thought to herself, as she was lead to a stop. When Sera pulled her hand away from her shoulder, she almost felt a bit lonely- until the girl reached up, carefully removing the blindfold that she'd tied around her eyes quite some time ago. They must have been driving on her motorcycle for at least two hours, by her estimation. Blinking her eyes a little, Sonoko had to take a moment to let them focus- but once they had, she felt her breath catch in her throat.

Illuminated by the rising sun, what must have been hundreds of trees spread out before them- red, yellow, orange, all of the colors of fall dancing before her in the dawning sunlight. As Sonoko took a step closer towards the viewing platform that Sera had brought her too, she glanced down, catching the sight of the sun's rays hitting the flowing river below them, the water dancing in the light. As the sun slowly rose higher and higher in the sky, the colors of fall became more bright, more vivid, carpeting the mountains that stretched out just beyond them.

For a brief moment, it was enough that she even forgot the early morning hours, forget the faint bite of cold that had seeped into her legs.

"It's beautiful!" Turning back towards Sera, almost half hating to take her eyes off of the sight, Sonoko's eyes sparkled. "Is this what you wanted to show me, Sera-chan?"

"That's right." Sera told her, a wide grin on her face. "My middle brother showed me this place recently, so I wanted to pass it on to someone special to me in turn." The line slipped from her as if it were nothing, but Sonoko knew that the red tint of her cheeks had very little to do with the chill of the early morning air. "So? Wasn't it worth the trip?"

"Yes!" Nodding her head, Sonoko turned her gaze back towards the scene before her, watching as the color of the sky slowly changed. As the warmth of the sun's rays reached her, they seemed to dash away the slight chill that had seeped itself into her body, as if washing away any worries that she might ever possibly have. "It's a wonderful place, Sera-chan."

"That's great to hear!" Carefully taking Sonoko's hand, she guided her towards the single bench that had been placed on the viewing platform. She was glad to see that nobody else was there this morning. For a moment, it was as if the world had shrunken down to just the two of them. "I brought some hot chocolate, if you want some."

She hadn't made it herself, mind- her mother had given her a long, drawn out look when Sera had told her about her plan. For a moment, she had thought she was going to argue against it, say that they couldn't afford to do something like that in their current situation. Instead, she had merely ducked into the small kitchenette of their shared hotel room, emerging several minutes later with a thermos of hot chocolate, insisting that she take it with her. Sera hadn't even been aware that they even owned a thermos, nor the materials for making hot chocolate in the first place, or even that her mother could make it, but from the way that Sonoko's eyes lit up at the offer, it would appear that she had been right on the mark.

"I would love some!" Sonoko told her. "Thanks, Sera-chan!"

"Then, just give me one second." Sera said, carefully opening the lid of the thermos up, pouring some of the still piping hot beverage into it, and carefully handing it over towards Sonoko. She took it gratefully from her, drinking in the aroma of chocolate that rose from it, before she drunk from the cup herself. "Is it good?"

"Yes. It's delicious." Sonoko told her, a hint of a sly grin painting her own face now, her thoughts easy to read. "You try some too, Sera-chan."

"Going for an indirect kiss, are we?" Sera teased lightly, her own smile only growing at the faint red tint that lit Sonoko's cheeks up. "Well, I can't turn down an offer from a pretty girl, now can I?"

Carefully taking the cup from her, Sera quickly took a drink of the hot chocolate herself, feeling the warm beverage seep through her bones. Just as she opened her mouth, ready to pass it back towards Sonoko, she felt a light sense of pressure on her shoulder- and blinked, glancing down to notice that Sonoko had apparently dozed off, her head lightly resting on her shoulder.

Smiling to herself, Sera carefully rested the cup in her lap, watching the steady rise and fall of Sonoko's chest. Maybe early morning had been a little bit too much for her after all- but sunset wouldn't quite have the same effect, not at this time of year.

For the moment, she would let her sleep, head lightly resting on her shoulder. It was a comfortable place to be.

#Detective Conan #suzuki sonoko #Sera Masumi #serasono

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targsdaenerys · 7 years

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let me tell you all a story. a story of my experience with ouat.

2012.

in fourth grade, i was watching american idol. during commercials, i viewed a promo consisting of a dragon and unicorns. now, at the time, unicorns were my ver y favorite, so of course, i was intrigued. i told my mom that i heard about a show with unicrons, but that i didnt know what it was called. she told me how she had heard of it and wanted to check it out. after watching the season one interviews between red and snow, she believed it was too old for me. i agreed. no unicorns. not what i was expecting.

2013.

a year passes. fifth grade was a blur, and all i know is that we went to disney. i had no idea what would change since then.

2014.

my friends are suddenly starting to talk about this kid’s eyebrows. how they are “so hot” and “sexy”. she showed me a picture off of robbie kay’s instagram and i laughed. ha, peter pan? whatever.

but then, it started to reoccur each monday, they would talk about it. i actually started to look forward to monday lunch periods. i begged them to discuss what they thought of the episode. once again, i was intrigued.

so of course, i wanted to see what the fuss was about. whats this big deal with peter pan? and who the hell’s rumple after only a few clips, i suddenly loved snow and charming. i needed more. i needed to watch.

so i tried. desperately. i only had an ipad, and was unaware it was on netlfix, so i tried to watch the first episode of the series by typing in “once upon a time season 1 episode one online free to any platform.i actually was able to find it and went in excitedly the next day to tell my friends. that was when i learned it was on netflix and thati could not wait to get home and watch it. so i did. but the thing is, i was only there for snow and charming scenes. i literally only skipped to their scenes. thats how i watched the show.

but then, as i was scrolling around youtube one day looking forsscenes for them, i came across “Emma and Hook Kiss scene” my frirst thought? it was between “ew”and “serioulsy?”

i watched it anyway.

and to behonest, it was kind of just a “okay, that happened” kind of thing. it wasnt until my friend told me after the season 3 finle that emma and hook kissed again before i got alitle excited. not much more, though.

then months pass, and suddenly, scrolling around netflix, i come across the hunger games. i held a grudge against the series since it became big with the popular group in my school that year. but i was thirsty for romance. and i heard it had some.

and thats how i fell in love with everlark. one night. the next morning i started following pages on instagram. i look up the ship on googlge. and tumblr posts pop up. i make a tumblr.

i start to follow pages on there with everlark, but then i start to see things on both platforms. emma and hook. and then, i slowly started to fall in love. not much. i just watch a couple of their scenes during season three, come across their second kiss. getting really, really excitated for the fourth season.

at the point, i had written about two everlark fanfictions. i wanted to write one about emma and hook, but i had no i dea how. or what .

but then tumblr inspired me. to the point where i started to freak out over every episode no matter how small the scenes were. in october of seventh grade, i wrote my first captain swan fanifction. i also drew my first drawing that i never thought i was able to do. sure, it was with a sketchbook my aunt got me in second grade and a #2 pecil, but i believe its still beautiful. it wasnt long after i actually found the name, captain swan, rather than using “kemma” or “killimma”.

2015.

and from there, my obsession sky rocketed. i stayed up until four every night after an episode, despite schol the next morning. i wrote little drabbles that arelong since gone ever since my laptop broke. i drew more drawings, i rewatched every scene until thats all that was in my head.the s4 finale was as hard on me as everyone else, and i tried to write a specualtion fic to the s5 premiere. i neverfinshed. although, looking back at the writing now, i can still feel the pain i was in by it.

and then season five started. again, i freaked out as much as everyone else. every episode. i still remeber the week after the first episode, we lost someone int he fandom. we miss you, love.

and then it was late october.saturday the 22nd, my mom came into my room to ask me if id seen my friend alyssa that day. she was a year older than me, afreshman in highschool. i didnt, so i told her. i didnt ever think what might have been.the following day, i was working at the food pantry when my mom caled me.they had found alyssa. but she wasnt okay.maybe in her mind she may have been the best shes ever been, but to us,she wasnt.

no one else knew, and i had to walk home in silence. i didnt cry because at the time we werent as close as the year before and it didnt hit me.but then my mother’s words repeated in my head. “Alyssa died, sweetie.” it was asentence i never forgot.

im not the best at keeping my emtions with myself. i always think people will judge me and call me selfish if i cry, and i didnt want it to be like that. so i kept it in.i kept the tears in for so, so long, even to the point here i didnt even cry at her wake where she looked like an angel although the scarf around her neck was something shed never wear. and what kept my sanity? once upon a time. it was then when i realized it was my anchor.

2016.

back in 2015 my mother made me audtion for a vocational school. earlier that year i had found its dance program and wanted to go, but along the way my intrest dwindled. she told me to give it a shot anyway because i had a very low chance of making it in due to my grades at the time.

i made it in.

the following months were the worst of my life. every day on the way home from dance wed fight about which high school was better, and although she was right about me going to the vocational one, i wanted to stay in my district. lets just say the only thing that kept me from following alyssa into the darkness was dance competitions. oh, and what else. the damn once upon a time episodes.

she forced me to go to that school, by the way. sure, i enjoy it now, but the people there suck and i still do not like how she went at it.

that fall, i take my friend to our first convention.since i started watching oneupon a time, i wanted others to watch it, and my one friend agreed to. until the end of the neverland arc. and peter pan died. no more ouat for her. but, since robbie was going to be there, lets go. she got a picture with him, i got a picture with bex. yayay.

2017.

last week, we experienced the best sunday of our life. a wedding we never really thought would happen. it was unbelievable. emma got her happy ending(or beginning) aand we got ours. it was so thrilling that even my friend who stopped watching in season three was excited. but as much as it was unbeliable the night, the following morning was too.

that was the most giddiest i had ever felt for school. every more we have a forty five minute bus ride and the but whole time i listened to the musical on repeat. but then, as i looked down to pause the music as we pulled into school, i saw my friends text. Jen’s facebook post.

i was in a daze all day.

it wasnt until lunch, the last period since it was a half day, where i just broke down. people asked me what was wrong and i explained as best i could, but shitty people have shitty outlooks on things and they didnt understand. it was the loneliest ive ever felt.

my mom kind of comforted me, telling me how she felt the same when parent hood ended and that ill find a new show ill like just the same, but one upon a time is special. no show can replace or even add onto what kind of mark it had left on me. it was what started my career in wririting and drawing. in someways it kept me alive. and what did people do when i told them this? they laughed.

it was tuesday night when i ran down stairs, telling my mom about convention tickets for colin and jen photo op i found on sale. we had them in mind for awhile, but never got them. she told me wed look into it. we missed the sale.

so here we were, here i was, aall i was able to think about was how id never meet the people who played the characters that shaped me and my future. until the next morning, my birthday, where i was given the tickets.

and today,to night, was pretty much the end of the storybook. im not going to go into it because i have it on a post from about an hour ago. but thank you everyone, for helping me be me. and thank you for this blessed oppurtuniy, in which i had never and will never take for granted, to be a part of such a magical communtiy. because of this platform i have aspired my career of writing, drawing, and fulfilling my dreams of being a princess by being able to contact disney about the program.if it wasnt for this damned, beautiful fucking shwow, i would probably bedrastically different. this story we created is timeless, a neverending fairytale in both real life and on screen. the story contiues for ever and ever in our hearts and writing and drawing and all of the incredible talents we all have.

#once upon a time #captain swan #cs family #captain swan fam #captain swan fandom #i love you all #ouat

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