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kirishwima · 3 years

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Hello lovely! Hope you're doing well. 💖 If you're taking Mysme requests still, I was wondering if you could do headcannons for the RFA+V (and Saeran if you want) with a female MC who has depression and struggles with being overweight and the insecurity that that brings, but instinctively hides her stress and prioritizes the others over herself?

anon are you Me. Are You. this is too specific and i relate 100%, i'm sorry you feel this way, know i love & appreciate you <33

I'll use she/her pronouns for MC since you specified them!

RFA + Saeran with an insecure, depressed, overweight MC:

Yoosung:

* Listen, I love him, but boy would take a while to realise that MC's insecure, especially if she keeps hiding her own anxiety to help him when he's upset

* He will tell her he loves her CONSTANTLY, and when you don't love yourself, hearing that can...hurt sometimes, makes you doubt yourself. If she doesn't voice this concern, he won't take much note of it-he'll understand when she's upset, of course, and do his best to help, but he's not the best at reading between the lines, so she'll need to be a little bit more upfront about it

* The one scenario I can picture, is him coming home one day, perhaps finding MC getting dressed or after a shower-standing in front of a mirror, gaze averted, shoulders tense.

* He's happy to see her, but notices her stiff smile, how she flinches away when he goes to hug her, and when he asks what's wrong, if she says 'nothing' he'll insist until she talks to him, tells him her insecurities, how she doesn't get what he sees in her, how she'll be happy when they're together but then feel so empty the next moment.

* He'll feel SO guilty for not recognising the signs, but he won't beat himself up over it-what's most important is helping her, not wallowing in self-pity.

* He'll sit with MC for as long as it takes that day, will hold her close and list all the things he loves about her even if she doesn't believe a single one of them. He can't relate to the insecurities about her body, though he'll try to convince her he loves her as is-because it's the truth! He can however, relate to what it's like to feel empty, to force yourself through the motions of daily life while shrivelling up inside.

* So he vows to help, in anyway possible.

Zen:

* Listen, I refuse to believe that behind all that narcissism there aren't insecurities stemming from all the shit he's been through in his childhood. Boy's developed narcissism to cope with what he thought of himself as a kid, and I stand by that.

* So he's more observant than you might think-when he sees MC checking herself in the mirror, poking at her stomach, how she'll sigh and put a big hoodie over her t-shirt, how she shies away from physical affection, how seeing him shirtless oftentimes makes her feel bad about herself, that he 'has to be seen with her'-he notices it all, and hates it, hates that her brain made her think she's anything less than gorgeous.

* He tried asking her about it but she insists she's fine and she's no more or less insecure than the average person-ever the one to try and keep his worry at bay.

* So instead he'll let her know he loves her every single day, will tell her he loves her body, will post online about how proud he is to be with her-for all the world to know, so no one will ever dare question her worth.

* It's an uphill battle, and it's not one Zen can win for her, but he'll do his best to help, so she can realise her own self-worth.

Jaehee:

* Baehee would be one of the most observant people in the RFA-though she doesn't share the same insecurities, she can understand them, and will often prod MC, asking her to talk about anything that might be bothering her.

* If MC says 'it's nothing, please don't worry', she won't push much; she doesn't want her to completely clam up. But she'll always be gentle, holding MC's hands as she says she'll always be here if MC wants to talk, that she helped her so much she wants to be MC's support too.

* I know how weird it feels lending clothes to others when you're chubby-so I feel like sharing clothes with Jaehee would be...an ordeal. Being unable to wear Jaehee's skinny jeans, whilst she can fit into MC's, would sting, and it'd only add onto MC's guilt-she doesn't want to feel this way about her girlfriend! She loves her, appreciates her, doesn't ever want her to know about these thoughts.

* But again, Jaehee knows. She understands it, so-she takes MC shopping, and together they buy matching pairs of pyjamas and t-shirts, things that, whilst they don't need to share, can wear and be reminded of one another.

* "I love you as you are-you accepted me for who I am, so let me do the same for you" she'll say, will hug MC and hold her close until she lets her feelings out, talks about her worries.

* Jaehee would be eager to help search for a good psychologist, to get MC professional help-she knows what she can do as MC's girlfriend isn't much, so she wants MC to get the best help she can.

*And of course, she'll be there for MC every step of the way

Jumin:

* oof...listen. He loves MC SO much, will buy her the moon if she asks, but this man..he's only recently discovered his own emotions. He's emotionally dense, and when MC says she's fine, he tends to take it at face value. Why would MC lie to him, after all? She trusts him enough to let him know if something's bothering her, doesn't she?

* Not to say he doesn't realise there's something wrong-he's a businessman, reading his clients is a part of his job description, emotions included. So when MC's smile stretches thin, when she's overwhelmed but swallows it down in favour of acting like everything's okay, he knows-maybe not to the extent that others might've, but he can tell something's wrong, and he'll honestly be upset MC doesn't talk to him about it.

* So he'll just...sit down and talk to her about it. Ask her to be upfront with him, tell her he wants her to be happy, that he wants to be there for her and help her any way he can, but can't do that if she doesn't talk with him and let him know what's wrong.

* If MC breaks down-if she cries, hides her face in her hands, he'll be shell-shocked. He's so used to her smiling, even at the face of adversity, that seeing her like this...he has no idea what to do at first, not one used to emotional outbursts.

* Insticts soon kick in though, and he gathers her in his arms, rubs his hands on her back, letting her cry until she calms down, no matter how long that takes.

* When she tells him about her depression, her insecurities, he'll nod, quietly listening to her worries, formulating a plan of attack.

* He quite bluntly doesn't understand why she's insceure. She's beautiful?? He loves her exactly as she is?? If she wants to change something about her appearance she's more than welcome to, but to want to do that because she feels she must is...absurd. He simply won't allow it.

* I know it's a cliche in a lot of these headcanons, that he'd buy perfectly tailored clothes for MC, that he'd purchase the finest, most flattering clothes for her to feel as beautiful as she is in his eyes, but it's true-he would, hell, he'd probably read up on fashion himself so he'd be able to help her pick out outfits. He'd do anything for MC, and that's NOT an exaggeration.

* Plus he'd insist on her going to therapy-I headcanon that after realising his own emotions he'd probably start attending therapy sessions himself, to try and get a better read on his emotions, so he'll be a pretty strong advocate for therapy, and he wants the very best for MC.

Seven:

* HAHAHAHAHAH.

* This man...not only can he absoloutely relate, it's honestly a big reason why their relationship is rocky, to say the least.

* Having two depressed, self-sarificing people who'd rather bury their emotions in the depths of their gut rather than admit emotional vulnerability in a relationship? Yeah, not a good idea.

* He'll be using humour to cope with his depression, trying to get MC to open up instead, whilst MC's just pretending she's Never Had a Negative Thought in her life, trying to get Seven to open up instead. You see the issue, yeah?

* Honestly it'll take a lot of walking on eggshells and dancing around the issue until either one of them breaks down, admitting defeat, or they share an honest, adult conversation about their emotions and about how they both need help-which, realistically speaking, I find quite unlikely to happen.

* Not to say the relationship won't work out-God, Seven wants it to work out so, so much. He'll tell MC he loves her constantly, he'll make it so in order to enter the apartment, she'll need to say one thing she loves about herself each day at the security door before it can be unlocked, he'll do everything in his power to help her with her body issues because he loves her, worships her as is.

* The ideal solution honestly would be someone else from the RFA-Jaehee probably, lol, coming to boink them both over the head and drag them to therapy, both individual and couple's sessions, so they can finally start expressing their emotions to one another in a way that ISN'T memes or self-deprecating humour.

* It'll take a while but-they'll make it work. They love one another too much not to.

V/Jihyun:

* This man. This sweet, sweet man.

* He knows what it's like to be insecure, to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, knows what depression is like, how it takes a hold of you and leaves you a shell of who you once were, or worse-who you could've been.

* He's so attuned to his own emotions, he's learnt to recognise the signs in himself-and ergo can tell when someone else is also suffering, although to what extent, it's not always easy to tell.

* He hates MC feeling this way about herself. He loves her so much, she's the one that pulled him out of his own self-depracating, self-sacrifising depressed state, has helped him seek help and become a better man-he wants to be able to support her too, wants to do everything in his power to help.

* But helping someone who won't even admit there's something wrong...isn't easy. He's so gentle and patient though, and slowly helps tear MC's walls down. He'll never prod too much, will simply..be there for her. Will hug her, run his fingers down her sides. If she squirms away, afraid of him feeling her love handles, he'll simply smile and say he loves her, finds every single thing about her beautiful-he'll purposely trail his hands to said love handles, if she's comfortable with it, looking her straight in the eye when he says "Every part of you, I'm in love with. Please don't take my words lightly."

* If she's up for it, he'd love to photograph her-but it's not easy, when you're so awkward in your own skin, to accept to be viewed through a camera lens. So instead he'll draw her, his sketchbook filled with doodles of her face when she's happy, when she's concentrating, her body as she sleeps, head smooshed into the pillow.

* He'll never push her, letting her take things at her own pace-but he'll be there to aid in every single step

Saeran:

* I know I said it for Seven and V to but...out of everyone, I feel like he'd understand MC's predicament the most. Insecure about his frail body, dealing with the trauma Mint Eye has left him with, trying to combat his demons and anxieties whilst trying to return to being a member of society-he's going through...a lot, to say the least.

* So it's honestly understandable how MC will swallow down her own issues, do her best to support Saeran instead. Will she break in the process? Perhaps. She doesn't care. Not if she can help him in the process.

* Saeran might not notice it initially, too focused on his own issues which-honestly, understandable. It's not everyday you leave a cult after all. But the more he talks with MC, the more he realises she's hiding so much from him, slowly notices how often she forces a smile on her face, how she'll nervously cover her mid-riff with her arms whilst sitting down, how she shies away from attention-

*He's almost never the one to initiate physical affection with her, and she doesn't initiate it much either-but when he does, when he leans in to kiss her and feels her tense he panics, pulls away because-is she reacting this way because she doesn't want him?

* When she explains it's not that, that she loves him and wants to be with him, he'll press the issue, ask her why she'll shy away from him then-not in a mean way, he'll just honestly be so worried, wondering what's wrong and how he could help.

* And when/if MC does tell him about her issues...there's not honestly much he could do. He'll tell her he loves her, that she's beautiful, that her body's a vessel to carry her soul around, and that soul is so wonderful it radiates joy to everyone around her, but he knows how hard it is to believe such words when in this mindset.

* So instead, he suggests they go to therapy together. He knows it's not the easiest thing in the world-but he wants her to get the help she deserves. He'll hold her hand on the way to her first session, will wait outside for her, smiling up at her when she's done.

* Things will slowly get better for the both of them.

-masterpost-

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simp-for-all-genders · 4 years

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when his best friend confesses and kisses him while drunk after a break up (hyung line)

This is my first post ever please don't hate luv luv

Warning-cursing & slightly suggestive

Summary- it's been 3 weeks since your ex broke up with you and you were drinking alone so you called your best friend to see if they wanted to come over cause they always make you feel better and you wanted to tell them something

Word count-1,792

none of the gifs are credit to the respective owners

Seonghwa- after i got their call i packed a bag just in case she wanted me to stay and left to their house. When i got there the door was unlocked and i walked in to greet her “hey i'm here” “seonghwa yayyy your here” she hugged me and all i could smell was alcohol “how long have you been drinking” “only an hour why do you ask do i stink?” “yeah” “ugh i hate that you are so honest with me,drink we me a little bit then i'll take a shower” “im your best friend im supposed to be honest with you” “whatever whatever, lets drink!” we drank for about 2 hours she we drunk i mean drunk as fuck she was clinging to me which i was used to and crying and telling me how much there ex was a dick and how much she hated them.i was more on the tipsy side not fully drunk and just listing to her rant “you know seonghwa i wish i could find a guy like you your so nice,caring,loving,understanding,handsome,pretty,you also have nice lips yeah really nice lips fuck it sorry seonghwa” “what do you mean so-” she cut me of my kissing me,i didn't know what to do but so i put her on my lap and deepen the kiss because to be honest i had a slight crush on her but she never knew. She broke the kiss “i love you seonghwa i should have just dated you instead” “i love you too but you still stink go take a shower” “take a shower with me i already know you were going to stay so you have extra clothes” “i can take a shower after you” she starts pulling on my arm “no you said you loved me so your going to take a shower with me and that's it, otay” “jeez you're annoying i'm going” the rest is up to your imagination.

(my 2nd bias)

Hongjoong- i didn't let finish what she was saying i just said “i'll be there” and hung up i stopped by the store to pick up cups of ramen for us cause we normally eat ramen when drinking and i bought her a dinosaur plushies cause she likes dinosaurs and went to her house and knock on her door she answers “hongjoong you should have let me finish what i was going to say *hiccup*” “ i already knew that you were going to ask me so i hung up and are you already that drunk to be hiccuping “NO~” “whatever i brought ramen so we can eat” “you know me so well thank you” “no problem i also bought you a plushie” “ OMG ITS A DINOSAUR RAWR” “hahaha your so cute i swear what are you going to name it” “hmmmm *inhales* HMMMMMM ah~ i got it its name is hongjoong” “why my name?” “cause it's cute like you and it's going to keep me company like you always do” “ah~ really” “of course” “do you want me to make the ramen” “yes please and are you going to drink with me” “imma drink a little bit” “okay” a couple minutes have past we were eating ramen and drinking she was ahead of me in drinking of course cause he was still a little bit sad and she was drink before i got her. “Hey Y/N” “yeah” “umm why are you still sad that your ex broke up with you” “i just miss being taking care of and have someone by my side 24/7 and i really miss just being held” “hahaha i'm sorry i don't mean to laugh but you get that mostly all the time with me and the boys” i know but it different you guys have work as idols and i don't get to see you guys all the time” “Y/N do you want to know what i really think your problem is” “what” “your trying to hide your feelings” “what do you mean by that” “Y/N i could tell you weren't in love with them you had feelings for someone else but you wanted to be with them so you could get your mind off of that certain someone am i right” her eyes went big “how in the hell w-w-what who umm umm *sigh* how can you tell” “you really think i didn't see the hints of you liking me” “AHHHAhhh hongjoong~ stop it if you don't like me you could have told me AHahhaAH” “it's not i don't like you i was just waiting for YOU to break up with them but you didnt they broke up with you and now you acting sa-” she cut me off my kissing me “ i love you hongjoong but i know i can't be with you cause you a idol and i don't want to ruin you careers so just leave me alone so i don't have to see your face cause i don't want to fall for you more than i already ha-” i cut her of by kissing “i didn't ask for your opinion i think atiny will like you and they know were best friends so they will kinda expect us to get together” “so what does this mean” “it means will you be my girlfriend” “yesssss of course i'll be your girlfriend” “you better remember this when we wake up” “i will i promise” “okay dork” she didn't remember in the morning so i told her what happened and she was just blushing like crazy

Yunho-*sigh* i got up from my couch and grab a extra hoodie for her cause she likes to be in mine and mingis hoodies cause there big on her and left to her house when i got there there was a note on her door saying “the door is unlocked come in, i’m changing clothes” i take the note off and walk in “why is she changing clothes” i through away the note “i changed my clothes cause i know that your we coming with a hoodie” i look up at her to see she's only wearing volleyball short and a bra “ AHHH Y/N YOU SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME GEEZ!!!!” i looked down and i was blushing “give me your hoodie then” i hand her my hoodie “you can look at me now i have it on” “you should just walk out in a bra and shorts” “it's my house i can do what i want” *sigh* “whatever how much have you drank” “only two bottles of soju” “geez you couldn't wait for me” she looked down “sorry i just you know i'm yeah” “sorry i kinda forgot” “nah its okay im trying to forget about it that's why i invited you” “let's forget about that asshole and have a fun time” “yeah you're right” after about 2 hours we were both pretty drunk so we stopped drinking and decided to watch a movie which was a comedy we were going to watch a romantic comedy but i couse just a comedy. Y/N’s eyes were on me for a little bit now but i just tried to ignore it until she said “yunho you know that i love you right” “yeah i love you to your my best friend after all” “no~ not like that” she kissed me “i love you like that” “huh” she kissed me again “i want to be with you thats what in trying to say” “ohhhhhh i'm just drunk as fuck that i didn't process that” “soooo” “yes i'll be with you Y/N” i grab her and hold her tight against me and kiss her head. We ended up falling asleep on the couch that night and i was woken up with a kiss the next morning

(my bias)

Yeosang- “ugh this woman i swear she's going to be drunk by the time i get there and why can’t she notice i have the hugest crush on her'' i get up and decide to skate there and i brought snacks for us to share and i also bought chocolate milk for her cause it’s a comfort drink for her for some odd reason. When i got there she was in her kitchen trying to reach for something “you need help” “AHHHH!!!! Holy shit you scared me but yes i'm trying to grab the bowl” i grab it for her “thank you” “no problem” “so are going to drink with me or just hear me rant” “imma drink a little bit but mostly listen to you rant i also brought you chocolate milk” “whoo thank you yeo” “you know i sometimes wonder why im your friend” “why yeo?” “your just all over the place it's been three weeks since your ex broke up with you, you should just get over them and notice that you have friends and other people like you for you and not care if you put on weight o-or dont care if you don't like to put on makeup people like you for you Y/N!” i have never called her by her name before since we first became friends so she knows im serious her eyes start to water and i start to see tears run down her face “Y-y-y-yeo *sniffles* i-i do notice i h-have friends and i-i know you have a crush on me b-b-b-but i didn’t want to think i liked you to cause i was with my ex at that time *sniffles* but over these couple of weeks i have noticed that i'm in l-love with you yeosang and have been for a while now and i'm sorry i never told you” “can you look at me Y/N” she looks up at me “you're pretty stupid you know” “thank you” “hahaha why are you thanking me” “all i was paying attention to was you calling me pretty gotta stay on the positive side you know” “hahahahahah omg i hate youuuu but good one” “ummm yeo” “hmm” “can i kiss you” i was surprised at first but after processing what she said i said yes. She gave me a light peck on my lips “that wasn't a kiss silly” she cocks her head to the side in confusion i simply chuckled at her i know that she knows how to kiss but she didn't think i wanted to be kiss like that so i took this into my own hands. I pick her up and sit her on the kitchen counter and give her a passionate kiss on her lips then pull away “kiss me right next time” i then kiss her neck and she giggles “i will, i love you yeosang“ “i love you too”

#ateez reactions #ateez seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez senarios #ateez #ateez x reader #ateez atiny #atiny #first post #confession #drunk

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mamgt · 5 years

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Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen - Book Review

⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎

“And after all, Marianne, after all that is bewitching in the idea of a single and constant attachment, and all that can be said of one’s happiness depending entirely on any particular person, it is not meant — it is not fit — it is not possible that it should be so.”

I really enjoyed this one among Austen’s other works though I think it was because I religiously read it along with an audiobook. My brain doesn’t seem to comprehend her writing without it. It has a different way of reading as opposed to how the narrator in the audiobook does it. I also think I was able to appreciate the plot twists because the story isn’t as well known or adapted unlike Pride and Prejudice, and Emma. Both books are more popularized among common people like me through the famous trope of hate to love, and of course the pop culture classic- Clueless. I think I’m going to give Austen another try by re-reading said books along with its audio alternative.

I’ll begin by saying that I really fell in love with the characters. I guess, they were very relatable. You always know someone who is more logic than emotion, and one who is above all emotion over logic. Personally, my older sister would have been Marianne, and so I wasn’t annoyed with the character being so passionate because I knew someone who was like that. Meanwhile, I related more to Elinor because I tend to suppress my emotions and analyze them on my own. But I loved the want of balance between the two. Unlike Pride & Prejudice, which showed the negatives of having either of the two, Sense & Sensibility showed both the advantages and disadvantages of too much feeling and too much logic. Elinor was a little criticized for having no feelings and yet this very character is what saved her in times of distress because she knew how to keep her composure. Meanwhile, Marianne who was so beloved by her mother because she shared the same emotional capacity, suffered from feeling too much to the point that she got sick, not necessarily from emotions but it led to up to that. However, one was not better than the other because both were disappointed with the deception brought by their lovers. So it’s like, either you feel too much or too little you can always end up with the same fate. In the end though, they don’t end in the same fate but happy nonetheless. It was at least known that their lovers really did love them but it just so happens Marianne’s was just really an unfortunate man. I hate him by the way. I just want to clear that. I like that the book also pointed that out that though we pity him he is still brought down by his own choices.

Moreover, I have mentioned this, I like the plot twists. I really did scream when Edward was the one who came and not Colonel Brandon and to find out his intentions? As well as that Willoughby explaining his fuccboi-ness? I really have to give it to Austen because she has to be the first to have put a fuccboi in a book. That was all too accurate. I know too many Willoughbys. So I really liked that there was always a turn in the story.

However, I still give this 4/5 stars because I just have a few nitpicks. It wasn’t like WOW favorite. Will definitely read again. I may pick it up again sometime but not as quickly, I think. So first nitpick, there was no build up of Edward’s feelings towards Elinor, like there was no hints so idk like I was just happy Elinor got what she wanted but would I have necessarily rooted for Edward? No. I was honestly waiting for a new guy to show up for Elinor, meaning I wasn’t rooting for Edward and even though I was happy to find him at their house, I think I would be happy just the same if any guy who was affectionate of Elinor (even Colonel Brandon) came to profess their love and eligibility for marriage. Also, of course I have to compare her other works, and Austen really built up her other love stories in Pride and Prejudice, and Emma. I don’t know if the intention was so that you’d be surprised in the end but I was still surprised with the books I formerly mentioned when the couples came about. So I really wished there was more background or like scenes to show that they were fond of each other. Second, I don’t like the ending of Robert and Willoughby and I don’t care if that’s being bitter or mean. You can’t ALL have a happy ending…damn. I know Willoughby lived with the guilt and whatever but I don’t know. i just didn’t wanna know he was happy HAHAHAHAHAH. I also don’t like Robert and Lucy even became favorites. If it’s to show the character of Mrs. Ferrars…well I already hated her, you didn’t have to add another fact to do so. I don’t know. I just was a little off with that. I would have edited that out because it ruined everything for me HAHAHAHA. I also am a little sad for Marianne because I feel like she was a little forced to be Colonel Brandon and I like the Colonel HUHU. He’s a really nice dude and the nicest dude OF ALL the guy characters to be completely honest. I hated all the guys. I just think he deserved more…like I wish there was a scene that Marianne really and honestly did like him instead of “oh well because people insist.” I also think that that was what Marianne deserved: someone she naturally fell in love with and not because everyone teased her into it. It kind of went against the very Austen-ness of her characters. I like Austen because she always has powerful women in her stories. I don’t even care if there are complaints with Emma’s in particular LIKE YOU NEED WOMEN WHO DOESN’T SETTLE!!! Lastly, I am still not in love with how she writes more so in this one. At least with P&P I marked so much lines I LOVE even though I didn’t enjoy it (but I’ll explain myself after re-reading HUHU). I gave it the same rating as Fitzgerald’s The Beautiful and Damned even though it was far more entertaining because Fitzgerald writes so well I have to quote WHOLE pages because they just SOUND LIKE MUSIC even if nothing is happening. I don’t know. It’s my thing, okay? I like pretty words that basically talk about the moon or something. Therefore, to get a five out of me is to be able to capture lyrical prose and powerful plot. Sometimes just powerful plot because that means that though simple the language, it was meant to make impact and it successfully did. This book wasn’t as powerful not because it wasn’t entertaining but powerful, for me, usually means I relate it so much I cry or my heart pumps to fast or whatever.

Anyways, there. I did enjoy it though. I’m so excited to watch the movie once its done downloading!!

#sense and sensibility #jane austen #austen #marianne dashwood #elinor dashwood #book #books #review #reviews #book review #book reviews

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taeguboi · 6 years

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BTS as Boyfriends [HC]

Request: ‘bts as boyfriends? ☺’

There’s kind of a story in each? Idk, hope you enjoy!

Warning: some nsfw mentions

Rap Monster

You fall for his intelligence and humour

He falls for your shyness around him

You finally tell a friend out loud about your crush on him

unaware that he’s nearby and within hearing distance

So he asks you out on a date

he doesn’t expect for you to want more than the one date

so you get the impression afterwards that it meant nothing to him

you try to move on

he hates watching someone else being so close to you

Everything changes;

he interrupts your conversation, not caring to be rude

“I can’t stand it anymore”

*intense kiss* *everybody cheers, huzzah!*

Learning is suddenly more fun

school was a drag back in the day

but his stories capture your attention

You just let him sit talking for hours about a book he just read

Matching jumpers

snuggy snug snug

winter becomes more enjoyable

it’s freezing and miserable outside but

you’re sat by the fire with joonie

well laid on the couch by the fire falling asleep

as he reads you a bedtime story hahaha

you get through books together at the same time and it’s magical

there’s always something to talk about

whether it’s a debate / discussion about a book

or about something really little like

how you each prefer something and why

and you appreciate the little differences

but you also appreciate how you change and shape each other into better rounded human beings

excuses to be skinshippy with you

*grabs your butt*

“it looked cold”

okay I didn’t say they were good excuses...

Everyone thinks he’s this confident, outgoing guy

but when you’re around he’s all cutesy and always bumping into things

He gets so distracted by you

and he really does try not to perv on you

like he really tries

but his thoughts just come out in one big list of adjectives

that progressively get a little nsfw

“How do I look Joonie?”

“Damn, you’re gorgeous, you’re beautiful, you’re sexy...”

*winks*

Sex isn’t limited to the bedroom

just as you think you’re seeing shy squishy joonie

he takes you into a storage cupboard mid-party

and wow

you swear it’s the best you’ve ever had in your life

but then you find you keep saying that yo yourself

he’s so attentive

it’s all about you

he doesn’t mind if you focus on him later but

it’s more fun when you put just as much attention in at the same time

because your boy gets FLUSTERED

he’s so cool until you touch him just right...

but anyway

back to fluffy content

oops

Namjoon shows you the world

all without travelling

he’s so well educated

so cultured

the works

he’s the best teacher you never asked for

everything is fun

everything is interesting

everything is awesome

and all of this is going to last a lifetime

Jin

He only has eyes for you

way before you become an item

Purposely awkward af when you’re in a conversation with someone who could be a threat

to put them off

Always asking about your well being

He’s just happy that you’re happy

getting to talk to you in the first place makes his day

but then when he asks how you are and you respond with a smile

that really hits the feels

At first he’s so smooth

there’s nothing flawed about him

Then you find out what a dork he is

squeaky laughter

bad jokes

sorta clumsy, even

but he’s still perfect

and still a gentleman

His friends have never seen him laugh so often in his life

you make him look even more radiant

you’re the funniest person to him

even though you never really had yourself down as ‘comedian’

he loves your type of humour

Making breakfast together

back hugs

it’s one of those little things in life

and one of those things that make you miss him more when you’re apart

One night a week is definitely date night

he never misses it or forgets

He makes everything special

even the really little anniversaries / milestones

ones you didn’t even realises were a cause for celebration

“Chocolates? Whatever for?”

“It’s been half a year since we made us public”

“Aw, Jin... You realize people don’t usually get gifts for things like that?”

“I just... I wanted to”

The most generous man

all he needs is that you return the love

and remind him of everything you love about him

especially in bed

he’s in charge

but it’s only because he likes to take care of you

he may not be as daring as some of the other members

but every inch of the house has been covered

very intimate, passionate lover

the love just makes it more special

as well as more sensual for him

emotion is everything

and not a day goes by that he doesn’t think of you with adoration

he brings you back things from a normal food shopping trip

because he was thinking of you

he tries not to make his social media all about you

but at least 50% ends up being that

it works to his advantage though

because girls are still after him

and then that selfie he posted yesterday sends them the message

to back off

he’s so perfect

that none of your estranged school ‘mates’ are having any of it

and after hearing this

he invades your snapchat

selfie after selfie after selfie whilst you’re asleep

and whilst you’re not sure you appreciate that one shot of you being asleep

it shuts all the haters right up

and now they’re probably crying

oh well

he is proud to show you off

“hey everyone! look at this amazing thing my girlfriend/boyfriend did!”

he’ll do anything to make you laugh

anything

if you’re having a bad day then that just won’t do

he’s taking you out

or he’s treating you for a night in

and he’s definitely treating you to his dad jokes

and then you’re in stitches

Jin makes you forget everything that sucks about life

Suga

Too shy to start talking to you

but somehow you exchange numbers one day

So it becomes a heavily text-based friendship that you form

He has to be sure he won’t make a fool of himself

Actions are louder than words

he might not say much about how he feels about you

but there’s gestures every day

like how he brings you coffee to work

or how he offers to pay for food

you figure it out eventually

and you really like him to

but how to say it?...

so anyway, one day, you kiss

you know, casual

“so does this mean...?...”

yes

bam! you’re a couple!

You complete him

and he can’t imagine life without you

nights without you in his bed are lonely

People think he’s cold and indifferent

but you make him soft soft soft

like he’ll pretend not to be ticklish

oh but hahahahaha you find out he is

“Ah! Jagiyaaaa! Hahahahahah!”

Just hug him all the time

sometimes you complain about how you look

but he just smiles at you and you know what it means

Only you can stop him from over-working

he’s just sat at his laptop, eyebrows furrowed

talk dirty to him so he doesn’t go insane

don’t forget to wear his clothes

he loves watching you roam the house in an over sized shirt

those similarities are what he holds onto

if there’s no common ground, then what would be the point, huh?

sharing is caring

one headphone each on bus journeys

you can have some of his fries at the takeaway

big cocktail for you both to have on a night out

under the same blanket on colder days

he loves it when you unexpectedly touch him

drives him crazy

one minute it’s all innocent and lovey dovey

then your hand is on his dick and fuuuuck

too soon?

nah

the programme you were watching is forgotten about

so is all his sense of surroundings

the curtains are wide open and there you are pumping him up and down

and he doesn’t even notice or care

fuck he loves you

not just because of that obvs

but after your first time initiating something more sexual

he does not stop thinking about you

like holy shit this is real

yippie

he loves your kisses

he can’t go a day without

well he can but it’s torture

when aren’t his hands on your waist?

and fuck he still can’t stop kissing you

not too much in public of course

but at home in mid conversation

after every sentence

until there’s just like half an hour silence

and you’re smooching each other’s faces off

you’ll never feel short of love or attention with Yoongi

J-Hope

As soon as he notices you: personality turnaround

Cool, manly, swagger

not a precious easily shook bby at all

He’s kinda distracting

like you’re trying to work here, but

he’s too funny and handsome

and he knows it, even though he’s too modest to admit it

But then one day something moves abruptly

and he gets shook and it’s the cutest thing to you

but he’s so embarrassed

he could just run away forever

because he thinks he done fcked up

wrong!

“aw, cute” you respond

*dorky grin emerges on Hobi’s face*

*comes into work next day on a motorbike*

[think j-dope era]

You make it clear that this doesn’t change your new impression of him

The typical ‘chase’ love story

He likes you but you take a while to give him the time of day to make sure he’s worth it

and he is worth it

there’s like a solid week where he brings you something everyday

and you don’t want this poor boy emptying his wallet so fast

so you give in to how you feel

“okay, okay! I’ll go on a date with you”

but you insist on paying the bill to make up for his troubles

but he won’t have it

you eventually agree to split the bill

and that starts the foundations for

a completely equal relationship

what you give is what you get

a problem shared is a problem halved

and all the other cliches about sharing

excitable cutie pie

“Y/n! Y/n! Y/n!”

Yeah, he’s kind of gathered that he can’t hide his true self from you

He wants to discover the world with you

he takes risks and tries new things for you

he tries to be braver than he really is

“Let’s go on the rollercoaster y/n!”

“Are you sure Hobi? You screamed so much last time...”

“Well, yeah...

“... That was my first time...

“... and I didn’t know for sure if it was safe...”

sure hobi, sure

The best team

your respective skills combined are all powerful

you can solve any problem together

you become that couple that are great at creating other couples

so many couples dates come out of it

it’s because you’re good at learning people’s true personalities fast

and he’s the best persuader

oh and he’s great at suggesting places to go

everyone enjoys the company of both of you

if only one of you can attend something

everyone asks about the other

you come as a package

“we” instead of “I” comes out in sentences a lot

but it’s not that either of you are too clingy

you both genuinely enjoy each other’s company for extended periods of time

like one day it’ll be like

“it’s the weekend and a bit rubbish weather to go do anything so d’ya wanna come over for the afternoon to watch some movies?”

and then next thing you know

it’s Friday next week

and you’ve been there all this time

whoops

Tries to hide when he’s in the mood at a bad time

but he talks slow and deep without meaning to

so he can never hide from you

and whilst he doesn’t have to tell you he’s turned on

you have your little methods of making him say it aloud

like when you grab his thigh

and then he’s like

“oh fuck I need you”

y/n at your service hobi...

you’re so good to him

that bless his soul

he always says ‘thank you’ afterwards

“you don’t need to thank me Hobi”

“but that was great”

bless

everything is still special as the relationship progresses

and whilst he’s always loved referring to you as his girlfriend / boyfriend

he loves it even more when he gets to say ‘fiance’

fairy tale wedding

he’s like a prince

honeymoon at disney world

because it’s everything your relationship stands for

the rides where Hobi takes risks for you

the fairy tale like love for each other

you even each go for the makeover package one day

it’s probably cringe to a lot of people

but you’re his wife / husband now so he doesn’t care

Jimin

Admires you from a distance

he hates how his friends can so easily talk to you

he wants to be more like them, so he tries hard

Finally, he plucks up the courage to initiate and engage in a proper conversation

“Hey” with a shy smile

Suddenly you become besties

there’s something about Jimin you trust deeply in

He can’t stop smiling around you

you can’t stop smiling around him

eventually you both figure it out

At first, his jaw is aching from all the smiling

he eventually builds up that stamina though

“You’re so pretty”

random compliments for days

giggly couple

you make each other smile too much

your relationship kind of brings him out of his shell

but he will probably always be shy chimchim

and you’re both low key in public

but everyone can see how you look at each other

You’re surprised at how chatty he gets under the covers

because of how shy he usually is

but the bedroom is a totally different story!

“you like that?”

“am I treating you good honey?”

pure fucking sin

like w h e r e d i d t h i s s i d e o f m y c h i m c h i m c o m e f r o m

you call him out on it after a few times

and he’s just like

“what? I was just really getting into it”

and he somehow says that with such innocence

that you’d think he was talking about just a song or something

his voice is music to your ears

seeing ‘I love you’ in a text just isn’t the same

I mean, of course it still means a lot

but you get goosebumps when he says it face to face

adventures in town for hours

it doesn’t matter if no one has money

it’s the quality time that counts

and there are still some free things to enjoy

window shopping and speculating the future

museums

sightseeing

checking out buskers

he doesn’t even dress up particularly for those days

but you’re still impressed

when he’s running about town

you just admire his sweater paws

or he’s reaching up for something in a shop

and a bit of hip shows

and you admire how beautiful his skin tone is

you end up scrimping together like 50p for a second hand film

and it’s rubbish

but it doesn’t matter

you can make your own fun anyway

I’m not saying no one ever has money

the point is that you don’t need it to have a good time together

He’s so glad he plucked up the courage that day way back when to talk to you

Doesn’t beat around the bush

Knows instantly that he has a crush

allows a suitable period of time in which he can get to know you

Asks you out on a date when the time is right

Not afraid to flirt and be a dork

says the most random things

“have you ever thought about what makes a krabby patty?”

I have lots of theories about this but not the right place

and he’s so random

but it only draws you in more

because he’s intriguing

slightly mysterious even

but there’s one he’s crystal clear on

“I really like you y/n”

“I really like you too”

yes, it’s actually as simple as that

He is the most fun boyfriend EVER

it helps that he learned so much about you at the beginning

surprise day trips

little games he’s created

as well as existing games

he makes bets that he knows he will lose

because he wants to treat you

“I bet you won’t find me within 5 minutes in a game of hide and seek!”

“You’re on!”

“Loser has to cook dinner!”

and then he chooses a really bad hiding place

like under a glass table

or behind curtains that don’t reach the ground

and then it turns out the fridge is already choc-a-bloc

sometimes you worry he’s too thoughtful

like that time he skipped something important

just to see you when you were sick

or when he gives you his jacket when it’s freezing cold

but of course you appreciate it

He’s not afraid to flaunt your relationship

costume party? you have to dress up;

he insists you’re gonna be the best dressed couple there

Never forget how special you are

he’s saved himself for you

he always wanted to wait for the right person

and he was going to wait til marriage

but realises that is perhaps outdated

and he feels way too much for you for this not to be genuine

and you show it back too, more than enough for reassurance

[you choose whether you’re showing him the way or if it’s new to you too]

it’s extremely intimate

doesn’t forget to tell you at least 5 times he loves you during

remind him he’s the one and he’ll be putty in your hands

loved up

sexed up

the first time quickly leads into the second third and fourth time

as you spend the entire day in your dressing gowns

it’s a true bonding experience

excuse the unintended pun

you will never feel unloved by tae tae

Jungkook

Shy but treats you like a friend

if he’s giving you witty comments and teasing you then

he definitely has a crush on you

Will fite you

Gaming marathon? You’re on!

all of it is a just quest to impress you though

and all of this happens often over time

and you begin to notice him more

and feel that he has the potential to be more than your friend

so yep, another gaming marathon

intense flirting

heck, he’s surprising himself big time

“what are you gonna do about it?” he says with a smirk

yet he isn’t surprised when

he realises it’s because he’s gotten so comfortable around you

so back to what he said

this is where things get taken up a notch

so what are you gonna do about it?

“depends what you have in mind, kook”

and he knows with your tone that you mean

“either you bust my ass on this game right now or you drop that console and do something about this tension”

that bit is unspoken of course ^

he pauses the game

but he hasn’t let go of the console

he just looks at you

you’re looking back at him trying not to hyperventilate

and then he goes for it

game forgotten about

“come here”

???

“y/n?”

you follow his instruction

this is new - a demanding jungkook

you like it really though

“now, I could be reading this wrong, but...”

*intense passionate kiss*

but afterwards

Still can’t look you in the eye

“Jungkook, you know you can make eye contact with me after...”

and then you pauses because oops you’re hanging with friends

“After WHAT y/n??”

and you’re both shook

“Jungkook?? What happened?!?”

you hang your heads down

and I think your mates assume you fucked or something

even though there was only a kiss

so no one mentions it

because of your lack of response on their questioning back there

so you guys get the space you need

to get your heads around what’s going on here

and actually nothing happens for a good while

the intense friendship continues

until one day

you’re at a party

and he can’t fucking take it anymore

*takes you by the hand to a bedroom*

ooh

then your friends are certain something is going on

when one of them catches you at the party leaving said room

and this is where they bug you both constantly

until you have to ask

“so... what’s going on here?”

“to tell you the truth y/n... I can’t stop thinking about you”

“I can’t stop thinking about you either”

*cutesy kiss*

*less cutesy kiss*

*intense make out*

*low key touching*

yep it’s happening again whoops

so less of the hanky panky talk

til later that is

it’s one of those “they finally got together” things

everyone deep down thought you’d make a good match

it was hard to unsee

once you realise how similar you two are

but not too similar of course

there’d have been no intense banter without those differences

yeah you ‘argue’ a lot

but it’s just part of the passion you have for each other

yeah I’m not going for long without this talk lmao idk what my deal is today

Sensitive lil boy

Whisper in his ear and his boxers tighten

“Problem Jeonggukkie?”

“Yah jagi! That was mean...”

you know because you’re in public

and you know how easy it is to get to him in that way

“guys seriously get a room!”

again, whoops

You still do all those other things you did as mates

you’re basically mates but with a romantic aspect

‘dickhead’ means ‘you’re a loveable idiot’

‘yeah right’ means ‘you’re probably right but I’m not admitting that’

‘fuck’s sake’ means ‘that joke was terrible but really, I find it funny’

it’s like you don’t say what you mean

but you know what each other means

and there’s no overthinking about it

To an outsider, you guys seem extremely casual but this relationship means the world

Hope you guys enjoyed! Headcanon Masterlist

#bts #bts imagines #bts boyfriend #bts scenario #bts fiction #bts headcanons

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indiepoptime · 5 years

Text

ptg things i think about a lot

because yes they’ve finished promoting but they’re always promoting in my heart leave me tf alone

--the letters episode from pentagon maker, featuring gems like the time when hui cried HUIIIIING after the members asked him if it was hard being their leader, and said members laughed at him and called him cute. when wooseok read their letter to him and his voice broke at the line “if anyone ever bothers you, your pentagon hyungs will risk their lives to protect you.” when shinwon read his letter: “even if the world hates you, i like you enough to hug you and go until the end” and his voice trailed off at the last word as he broke down into tears. when my heart shattered into a billion pieces. yknow. the works

--when yanan purposefully packed ginseng tea, handwritten letters, and pentagon posters to gift to his fellow competitors on cyzj. also just yanan on cyzj in general, showing everyone that he was completely capable of singing high notes way before till was a thing

--hui on breakers in general, but especially when he wrote a whole song for his members titled “for you” and performed it, with the lyric “for the nine family members who trust me, i’ll never break” in front of wooseok, yuto, and shinwon. when he promised he wouldn’t cry but ended up crying anyway because he saw wooseok cry

(the rest is under the read more bc i have a lot to say that, alas, no one probs wants to read)

--their first impressions!!! hongseok saying that he was the last member to join and knew that he was joining an already close-knit group, so he decided to try to be a part of everything he could, and the boys chiming in that he’d earned the nickname “memory collector” because he would say “collected another memory!!” whenever he would do anything with the other members. catch me crying in the club yall

--hongseok full-on sobbing as if he himself were being eliminated when shinwon was eliminated on pentagon maker. ive never seen any idol genuinely weeping like that in my life and it breaks my heart every time

--when yanan was on hiatus in china, the boys all downloaded wechat just so they could keep talking to him

--when the boys spent 11 minutes straight yelling and dancing to celebrate yeo one’s birthday. get you some friends like that

--in magazine ho #15, when kino asks jinho to sing for him for some inspiration and jinho sits up on the couch, sings beautifully like the god he is, and then lies down again to play on his phone. nonsense. blaspheme. beautiful. can yall imagine just being able to ask a literal god to sing for you on a casual basis me either

--this isn’t a particular moment but the fact that every single member except hongseok has composed/produced before. ?????????? how tf. also someone pls release all of those guides; i need to hear them all

--the fact that they have to stand in parabola form because wooseok and yanan are just too long and jinho and hui are just too short. amazing

--all of their DUMB LAUGHS. hui’s squawking laugh with his A+ 10/10 eye smile, hongseok’s huhuhuhu with his squinty lil upside-down-spoon eye smile (bonus points for his lil leg dance bc it’s my favorite), yanan’s evil old man laugh which i love very much, yeo one’s entire-body-laugh, yuto’s heheheheheh that trails off (also talk about the exact opposite of his speaking voice), wooseok’s wheezing and also dramatic head whiplash (this is also a yeo one quality but i digress), kino’s HAHAHAHAHAH that you can hear from like 400 miles away, jinho’s tiny breathy baby laugh, and last but certainly not least shinwon silently ascending into a different plane with his mouth open

BONUS

--edawn’s plants. where tf are they. are they ok. is he raising them with hyuna i need to know

#pentagon #ptg #jamie speaks #i just needed to get this off my chest bc its been stewing yall #no one wants to hear me yammer about pentagon forever so im shooting this into the ether that is tumblr

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goneg1rl6 · 3 years

Text

july 2019

i am currently a complete whore for "nate" again.

update: lol haha nvm we only talk ever week hahahahahah i wanna cry

summer has been quite boring even if I've been out constantly. i've started to live like a teenager. illegal activities here i am! haven't gotten hungover yet and it's kinda sad.

I've been being a complete failure and falling for boys my age. other than nate but it is fulfilling heehee.

so there's tate , brian, and john . they're all only a year older than me. tate is a close friend of mine that i feel feelings coming on. brian is a friend with benefits, that says he loves me. and john is another friend that i kinda feel something for.

tate is one of those guys. he's gorgeous. he's tall, blonde, and sounds like one of my favorite youtubers. i wish i was the girl he dated, because i feel like she ruined my chance. i know it sounds very selfish but after her, he's been very off put my e-dating. i don't want to be an e-dater not do i want to be one of his flings.

i love talking to brian, yet he only uses me for his own pleasure. i know his mental health is a factor in that but it isn't a fucking excuse for him to treat me like some whore whenever he's down.

john was talking about how the two of us could just sit around in his bed, watch horror movies, play video games, and cuddle. i immediately went soft. he's been very openly flirty with me and it is nice but i don't want to get caught up before school even starts. worse, he's my friends ex.

today i went out with my friends. there was this cute boy in the food establishment we went to and we kept making eye contact. later found out he had a girlfriend but her name is out of his bio and so are the pictures of them together so... maybe you'll hear about him again.

i met another boy, let's call him kaston. he's a local skater boy and agreed to hang out with me and go skating with me! i don't feel really shy and i know it's from talking to males more this summer, i hope i keep this energy when school starts.

speaking of which, school starts next month so i'll update lots more with MEN, hopefully.

#mine #girl a #personal diary #nympette

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indigo-streaks-in-her-hair · 7 years

Text

500 Follower Ask Celebration :)

welp, here we are with 500 beautiful lovelies reading our fics. when we first started this blog, we never imagined such a wonderful response. everyone is the nicest & we both can’t express how grateful we are for every one of you.

thank you so much for sticking by us, even during our rough times. your support means the world to the both of us, & you all keep us going more than you think. you all inspire us every single day, & never fail to make us laugh.

you, yes all of you, are the best followers in the whole damn universe. you’re all irreplaceable & extremely dear to us. we love you guys so much. words can’t begin to describe how we feel.

and so, since we literally can’t come up with anything else to do on this momentous occasion, our original plan for 500 was to reblog a long ass ask list for you guys to send in numbers, but since that would all be complicated on the matter of the two of us answering, we decided to just answer all these 45 questions.

you’ll find the questions and our answers under the cut! enjoy!

um she’s really lovely and sympathetic and true and magnificent and her name is summer and the most annoying thing about her is that she’s not annoying at all. -v

pretty much the fact that vic is better than me at e v e r y t h i n g . she’s so much more caring and generous and beautiful and she’s always there for me whenever i’m having a bad day or if i’m just lonely or whenever i need someone to talk to. she’s also super polite and hilarious as hell. -s

2 • least favorite tv shows?

oops sorry if i offend some people but i really don’t like vampire diaries, thirteen reasons why, gossip girl, or the uk version of the office. -v

i don’t, like,,,,, watch tv much so all honesty, i can’t really have an answer for this? sorry?? -s

3 • favorite moment with your best friend ( s ) ?

oh omg i was texting summer a few weeks ago discussing and finalizing which fic requests we were each going to be taking and we had that one request asking for a connor imagine in which him and the reader take zoe to get her wisdom teeth out so i said something around the lines of “i can take connor and the wisdom teeth” and i literally froze before following that up with “omg that could be a name for a band”. summer freaks out and we’re both laughing hysterically over text and we stop everything and just spit out crappy band names that include connor and various body parts like “connor and the tonsils” and “connor and the funny bone” and even “connor and the fractured pelvis” and we’re absolutely dying because we can’t stop cackling at this stupid thing i brought up which made me laugh out loud a hundred times and i ended up scaring my own grandmother when she saw me giggling crazily with my phone. she ended up cutting me a slice of pie because she thought there was actually something wrong and the pie might help me calm down. so if the person who requested “connor and the wisdom teeth” is reading this right now i just wanna say thank you for requesting and your idea is amazing and your fic will forever be iconic ily. -v

oh my god, i was literally going to say the exact same thing vic did, but i guess i can choose a different memory. one time vic posted a pic of a turtle on her sc story and i was like “girl omg” and she remembered that time she played the character Turtle in her school’s production of The Westing Game play and then we started reminiscing on our old nerdy memories like when a projected video didn’t work for her and she had to just say all the audio backstage, or the time after my school’s cheap ass production of the Wizard of Oz during curtain call i tried to quickly change from my farmhand costume to my tin man costume and i forgot to put my shoes on and i slipped and fell on my ass during curtain call (i also forgot to bow but unimPORTANT) and it was just so sweet and cute but honestly every moment with vic is the bEST. -s

4 • what’s one quality you would like to have?

hm i’ve always wanted lighter eyes, mine are this boring brown color. whenever i’m in sunlight, they become shot through with these bits of gold and amber and it’s super pretty and that’s the only time they really lighten up. it would be really nice if they were like that all the time. -v

my big nose and thin hair have been the #1 qualities i’m most self conscious of, so i would really like to either have a smaller nose, or thicker hair. my face is already super oily as is, but my nose is the worst part, and i’ve always hated how my nostrils are almost as big has my eyes. as for the thin hair, you always have to be cautious about what you do with it, because there’s so little of it. like, i’m hella prone to sweating, which sucks, so if i sweat too much, my hair can easily build up enough grease to look like i just got out of the shower in a matter of minutes. or if i sleep on it the “wrong way”, and portions of are crinkled awkwardly or sticking out, then that’s how it’s going to look the entire day. and i can’t do any cute hairstyles with it because it all will fall out. -s

5 • name three people of the same sex you would kiss, marry, or fuck.

kiss rachelle ann go, marry pippa soo, and fuck laura dreyfuss oops. -v

kiss pippa soo, marry eva noblezada, and as for the other one,,,, i’ll get back to you on that.. -s

6 • do you like your full name?

hell no it sounds so boring and standard. -v

hahahahahah, no way. -s

7 • tell me your most embarrassing memory.

erhm so many? how do i choose? i’ve tripped in front of crushes hundreds of times, i spelled a word wrong in a spelling bee that i really did know how to spell but my anxiety acted up and i panicked so badly, i ran into a sliding glass door literally yesterday, when i was little i sang in a public bathroom and everyone heard, i also fell out of a tree? does that make me evan hansen? -v

oh n o. there’s too much there, i swear. um, i got so nervous when someone asked me what my name was, i told them i was “helen”, but i think that was because i accidentally said “hell” too loud and tried to cover it up. i’ve tripped so many times on a flat ground. once i was crying in a public bathroom and a kid started banging on the door and told his mom that no one was in there, so before they got the staff to open the door, i panicked and hid my face in my sleeve as i ran out of there. omg there was also one time, a long ass time ago, someone asked me who my favorite member of one direction was and i didn’t know who they were because in my house we don’t listen to (at the time) contemporary music. not to mention anything in english?? but anyways, i’d heard of them but nothing about them, so me, trying desperately to fit in said “i like all four of them”. and they told me “there’s five”. there was also a time i was invited to this girl’s retreat thing in her youth group when we took a field trip to this pumpkin patch and they had this corn maze and we tried to go through it, but i got lost and nobody was around me and for some reason i thought everyone just left so i was terrified and crying and just started running straight through the corn. but then one of the other kids saw me and called me out to everyone and i was too embarrassed and anxious to say “i got lost”. there’s probably so many more memories and probably worse ones too, but in short, my life is a huge embarrassment. -s

8 • favorite color to wear?

pastel baby blue is my number one. i have this off shoulder blouse that’s this pretty sky blue color and white and i think it’s my favorite item of clothing. -v

i can’t make a lot of colors look good on me so usually i turn to black, gray, or any dark shade. -s

9 • favorite restaurant?

there’s a vietnamese place called “saigon diamond” in my city and it’s absolutely wonderful and i would go there every single day if i could. -v

i love this little place, it’s called “cafe vie” where they have boba tea, spring rolls, phở, all sorts of vietnamese food and it’s just so quaint and the food is the best there, honestly. i’m so hungry now. -s

10 • what would be a good first date for you?

take me to a broadway show and then dinner and i will be the happiest girl in the world. -v

vic pretty much took it away at “broadway show” for me. and dinner is hella important, food is so good. i don’t have high standards, but if you really want to make an impression on me, then i’m literally the biggest sucker for romantic gestures. -s

11 • are you a good wrestler?

thumb, yes. arm, no. full body contact, idk about that but i do know karate so i will fight you. -v

lmao, no. -s

12 • are you allergic to something?

up until the time i was five or something i was allergic to grass and i had to wear pants whenever i went outside and it was honestly horrible because i couldn’t play tag or run around like other kids my age. -v

i honestly don’t know but most bug bites i get can get hella blisters and really gross even if i don’t touch them. -s

13 • would you be a good singer?

i’ve been singing pretty much my entire life but it was only this year that i started gaining confidence with my voice so i guess i consider myself a good singer? i’m not completely there yet, though. -v

i really hope so. i’ve been a big choir nerd since i was 7 or 8 and i’m really passionate about singing, but that really has nothing to do with skill, i guess? i don’t really like the sound of my voice, but i’m pretty decent at harmonizing. -s

14 • who’s the last person you said “ i love you ” to?

summer aka the shining light in this dark world. -v

victoire aka the actual light of my life?? love you, vic -s

15 • what car would you buy if you had enough money?

um a porsche obviously because that shit is prime. -v

literally any car that doesn’t break down. as long as it can transport me from point a to point b without any troubles, then i am set. -s

16 • favorite cover of a song?

currently it’s that cover of ben platt singing “ stay ” that’s floating around tumblr rn and i think i had an eargasm when i listened to it the first time i was so shook. -v

i can’t pickk a favv omg. everyone is so frickin talented it makes me actually want to curl up and yell. -s

17 • what was your last conversation about?

coincidentally it was summer telling me we hit 500 and me proceeding to flip out. -v

hah, i don’t remember who it was with but i went around telling a couple people that my dad took my phone and i can only contact them from my crappy chromebook. -s

18 • where were you born?

good ol’ michigan in the usa where i still live today. come visit us because we have chocolate fudge, cereal, and eminem if you like that kind of shit. we also have lots of lakes and pretty places and we’re so cool we’re shaped like a fucking mitten. -v

kansas, where i also still live today. maybe i don’t get out much, but it’s kinda boring here,, -s

19 • least favorite app?

there’s this app on my uncle’s phone called “ chicken scream ” where this chicken has to jump onto platforms but to do that you have to scream and the octave of your voice determines how high the chicken jumps. seriously fucked up and i hate it but it’s hilarious watching people play it. -v

anything that can’t entertain me for more than two minutes. i have such a short attention span -s

20 • tell me two facts about the country of your birth.

um we have the largest air force in the world and we sell enough pizza every day to cover one hundred whole acres and no i am not lying i read this in a book ok bye. -v

uhhh… its abbreviation, “USA” stands for the United States of America, and it’s made up of 50 states. -s

21 • do you like wearing sunglasses?

actually i hate wearing sunglasses because they get tangled in my hair but if a pair looks good with my outfit then i will wear them for the sake of fashion. -v

i don’t wear sunglasses really at all, so i guess i can’t really have an opinion on them? -s

22 • when’s a good moment for a first kiss?

goodbye kisses are the best, do not tell me otherwise. walk me home and then kiss me goodbye at the door and i will be thinking about you all the damn time and i’ll can’t wait to see you. -v

i think for a first kiss it should be a very important thing, so whoever you have it with should be really close to you, and someone you know that even if things don’t work out, you can always look back on it as a positive memory. but what would i know? -s

23 • what are your nationalities?

i was born in america to immigrant parents who came from the philippines. along with the filipino blood, my great grandmother on my dad’s side was chinese, and my great grandparents on my mom’s side were spanish. -v

i was also born in america to immigrant parents, but they were from vietnam. my great grandparents on my mom’s side were chinese. -s

24 • what would make you drop college / university?

ha are you kidding me if i ever dropped out of any sort of education my strict asian parents would probably disown me and mushu the dragon would appear out of nowhere and give me that whole “ dishonor ” speech. -v

^damn vic, i couldn’t have said it any better. -s

25 • a crossover between two shows ( any shows ) you would like to see?

idk about any of you but a crossover between riverdale and doctor who sounds hella awesome. i’d definitely watch that. -v

frick;; i don’t watCH TV at like,,, all?? -s

26 • long or short hair?

on me? honestly i prefer to have long hair but i’ll go shoulder length if i’m really feeling brave or something. when i was little i had super short hair with bangs so i was basically an asian dora the explorer. -v

short hair, for sure. i used to have hair down to my waist when i was younger and that was probably the grossest thing about me because it was so disproportionate to my head/face and made me look like if E.T. had two long strands of black yarn on its head. but even before that ofc i had a bowl cut. what asian kid doesn’t have a bowl cut, honetsly. although, over the summer i don’t cut my hair so i can dye the ends, then have it cut when school starts. the farthest it goes down is barely past my shoulders. -s

27 • a character from a book / tv show that shouldn’t of died?

max lightwood from the mortal instruments book series was the purest bean, and he wasn’t even ten years old yet and that definitely broke my heart. as for tv characters, i sobbed for days on end when arthur from the bbc show merlin died. -v

um,,, crap idk. -s

28 • favorite movie scene?

pitch perfect two where ben platt’s character benji musters up the courage to kiss emily before the bellas go on. idk why but it’s so cute? maybe it’s just ben? -v

sidenote: vic, i love that scene. anyways, maybe that final scene in heathers where martha gets her one line. idk. -s

29 • do you ship more fictitional characters or real people?

fictional characters of course. who would i be without my otps? -v

definitely fictional characters. -s

30 • favorite country song?

i seriously despise country music. i just don’t like it. it’s bleh. i don’t really know half the artists or their songs so i can’t have a favorite. -v

frickin “your man” by josh turner. i’m seriously kidding. i don’t listen to country music efiouhadjhdsilvb -s

31 • favorite john green book?

it’s tied between “ paper towns “and ” looking for alaska “ because both are equally cryptic and beautiful at the same time and i love when books are like that. -v

heck, i really like “looking for alaska” -s

32 • least favorite ed sheeran song?

oh come on. i love ed. you can’t expect me to pick a least favorite. but when it comes to the song i skip over most of the time it has to be ” even my dad does sometimes “ from multiply ( x ). -v

uhhhhmmmm… hell if i know -s

33 • favorite ship?

malec from shadowhunters will always be my otp until the day i die. the ship is so diverse and has so much chemistry and if you read the books magnus and alec are so in love i can’t handle. -v

i don’t frickin knowwww. i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now. i’m so sorry if all of my answers are like this, i’m literally the most indecisive person in the actual world. -s

34 • how do you deal with sexual tension?

uM -v

uM -s

35 • name a celebrity who died that you miss.

our queen carrie fisher. i grew up with star wars always on my tv and when i heard of her passing i cried and rewatched ” the force awakens “ with blankets and two boxes of tissues. -v

there’s really too many to choose from, and thinking about all of the happy memories they’ve brought to me and everyone is just getting me so emotional. -s

36 • favorite harry potter spell?

i’m really fucking basic but ” lumos “ is the best. it’s so simple. it’s light. and idk why that resonates with me but i just think everyone needs a little light these days. -v

i literally said “lumos” too, but now i’m going to choose “riddikulus” because turning boggarts into something funny proves that anyone can find humor in their biggest fear. -s

37 • something you are scared of losing?

my family. there’s no way in hell i’d make it through life without my little brother or my grandparents who are there for me. -v

i’m terrified of losing the few friends i have. everyone i used to know didn’t have a single hesitation in forgetting me or even trying to lose contact with me. -s

38 • someone you regret meeting?

i could make you a list and tell you what each one did to make me regret even looking at them but i don’t wanna go out on a full on bitch rant about these people who ended up wasting my time. but i’ll just say i’ve met my share of shitty human beings. -v

too many. there have been too many people who’ve hurt me or betrayed me or have honestly made me feel like a horrible person, and i really wish i could forget every last one of them. little tip: it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known a person, it doesn’t excuse any sort of bullshit or betrayal they’ve done. -s

39 • have you ever been hurt by someone you thought was your friend?

yes and it’s caused a lot of emotional and mental issues. i’ve been backstabbed and used so many times and i just wish i could stop being stupid and blind for not seeing it in the first place. -v

god, yes. i wish it didn’t take me this long and this much damage to realize i shouldn’t have been throwing around my trust or my yearning to be accepted so lightly. getting hurt by the people you thought cared about you most is the most awful feeling, especially knowing that every single act of kindness and sympathy and love to them meant nothing. -s

40 • do you easily open up to people?

yes and no, actually. it ultimately depends on the person and whether i have a connection with them. -v

it’s really hard to open up to people in real life because i don’t know if they’re confidently lying to my face or will use my own words against me to people who also know me irl. but online it’s easy to open up to my friends there because i can find people who understand shit i go through and actually take the time to give a crap. -s

41 • what is a gift you love receiving?

hugs. i love hugs. gimme all the hugs you got, boo. -v

damn, v knows exactly what i’m going to say. i love hugs so frickin much, but honestly any sort of affection is all i need, like, smooches? yes?? compliments? absoLUTELY?? cuddles??? MARRY ME?!?! -s

42 • what is something you could leave easily?

erhm maybe my notebooks? i usually journal in them but not that often anymore. -v

probably hair clips. i really can’t do anything with them, and on me they’re really tacky. -s

43 • rant about what’s eating you up.

i’d really rather skip this one if anyone doesn’t mind, i’m sure i’d go on for a hundred paragraphs about my stressful life plus i’m sure it would annoy you. and my problems are the kind of personal ones i’m not comfortable putting out in public yet. -v

i really agree with vic here, i don’t want to be a huge bother to y’all and it’s really a touchy and personal subject here. -s

44 • if you could make a phone call to anyone right now, who would it be and what would you say?

i’d call ben platt, tell him how much i love him and how much i love the show and whole cast, all while screaming and shaking. -v

i was going to freaking say ben platt too, seriously. i wish i could thank him for how much his representation of evan and the build up of his character has made me find something to relate to and learn to appreciate myself more, even in the slightest. i’d also love to tell him that he shouldn’t have to feel apologetic for doing the things he does to take care of himself physically and mentally, and his fans should be more than supportive of him taking care of his well-being. i’d also ask him to tell the rest of the cast, creative, and standbys how much i seriously appreciate them, but honestly i’d be speechless if i knew he was on the other end of the line. -s

45 • are you easy to love?

aw yes. people say i’m lovable. i’m been compared to a teddy bear before. it’s happened, trust me. -v

i should hope so, but not very many people like to stick around me. i mean, i try to be someone worth loving and i’m more than happy to spill out all of my love to anyone who just asks politely <3. -s

#violate victoire #stalk summer

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survivor-guyana · 6 years

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Episode 10 - "If the votes aren't Unan1mous, I'm going to die." - Maynor

what the fuck kind of alliance votes out two of my closest allies two rounds in a row, and doesn't even tell me their concerned or trusts me with their opinion.

alyssa and jess. jsyk.

Well, being completely blindsided doesn't feel good. I just want to make sure that I'm safe moving forward, and I'm feeling very upset about how this just went over. I'm so pissed at Jess and Alyssa for not saying anything. And even Aidan. Fucking Aidan said nothing. I need to look at this situation positively, but I honestly don't know what to do right now.

I guess I need to find a way to strike against Jess/Alyssa/Devon because they are the power trio right now... I just hate doing it because I love all three of them, but if I want any chance of winning at all, I kind of need to do that.

I probably need to start by making sure I have Aidan and Dani with me. Chelsea being on the wrong side and talking with me helps, and then I need to solidify my relationship with Jones and Maynor.

Maybe with all of those combined, I have a chance.

So tonight I fucked up harder than I EVER HAVE FUCKED UP IN A GAME BEFORE (and that's saying something). I've been going through a rough patch the last week and have probably gotten a total of 15 hours of sleep since Friday???? When I was on call with Devon/Alyssa I read something out loud Jones sent me and it mentioned the whole alliance with Alyssa/Jones. I'm hoping I fucking mumbled but Alyssa understood me so DEVON KNOWS. I attempted to play it off but I DON'T know. I just don't fucking know. I'm dumb. I feel dumb.

I'm just trying to build trust with people at this point. I feel like my game fell apart fucking HARD this round. I cracked at final 10. FINAL FUCKING 10. I'm not trying to get DOWN on myself but low-key this is probably why I don't win games lmfao.

I told Alyssa about the idol so I'm hoping this is a sign of trust. I don't know how I 1000% feel about telling her but here goes nothing I guess?

I was in a pretty decent position going into this round and then....until I literally set fire to the rain and fucked shit up.

My relationship with TJ took a hit. That's not going to be good in the future. My relationship with Maynor took a hit. That's not going to be good in the future. My relationship with Chelsea is fucked (but did we ever have any type of working relationship, not really). My relationship with Devon probably took a hit because of my own stupidity. My relationship with Alyssa took a hit when I was sipping on dumb bitch juice. My relationship with Jones is still a major question mark? My relationship with JD is as stable as I am currently and that's saying SOMETHING?

THAT'S LITERALLY ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE FUCKING GAME WHO HAS SOME SORT OF ISSUE WITH ME?

Literally the only two people I didn't piss off or give reason to hate me is Dani/Aidan... and that's.... just fucking sad.

I destroyed my game and that's on me.

Time to pick up these pieces somehow and make them FIT.

Here is a Haiku about my game:

My game is a mess. I messed it up real bad. Jumping of a bridge.

okay so,,, I talked to Alyssa and Jess,,,,,,, and I understand,,,,,, like 80% where they're coming from? Jess told me she and Alyssa flipped because they didn't realize TJ and I came to them and said JD said Jess' name?? Jess went to JD and she said that Tim was the one who threw Jess' name out,,,,, and like,, they couldn't take my word for it when I said I trusted Tim, WHICH I UNDERSTAND that they didn't trust tim, but the fact that I told them how i felt and they just didn't listen to me bothers me.

like,, imagine this scenario,, would you take the testimony of someone who's in your alliance (albeit with some ulterior motives, but still in the alliance) and told their alliance (95% of) the truth,,, or someone who is never online and had been stirring up chaos and drama and was spewing shit this entire day just too keep their self safe? just answer that in the comments below thank you xoxo

so now that Alyssa and Jess know what happened on my end, and I know what happened on their end, we're both in agreement that JD has to FUCKING GO!!!! Tim was fucking robbed, i'm so espresso depresso you have no idea i'm so sad that Tim's gone. what a king,,, the creator of Jones' angels,,,,, robbedt,,,,,

we're rebranded as Tim's Angels btw jsyk <3

but ummm this fucking Unan1mous thing???? more like fucking BOOnan1mus amirite ladies hahahahahah ha h hah ah um,,, hmm that joke sucked i'm so sorry. SO okay yeah,, Alyssa/Jess/TJ/Maynor agreed they'd vote for JD, and that they'd try to get the rest of the numbers to work for JD, BUT the problem is that if ANY ONE PERSON DOESN'T VOTE UNAN1MOUSLY,,,, they're safe. so we gotta get /everyone/ on board with this. hopefully Chelsea won't want to have like,,, revenge against Alyssa/Jess/Devon or anything sksksks

but ummmm let's hope for the best? I gotta get to school at 6:00 am and it's 2:00 am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it's snoozeville for me. catch you on the flipside :p

I hashed things out with Devon last night because I was so pissed off about the vote, but I still have a lot of trust to rebuild. When i mentioned my name going around, Devon, Alyssa, and Jess knew that my name wasn't out there and still didn't let me in on the Tim vote. I was completely alone and had to make an alliance with the others out of desperation and tbh, i think I look like an idiot. But anyway, i think Devon and i are on good terms and I hope we can rekindle our old team that i was loyal and comfotable with since the beginning.

This might be a long one Johnny. I am so sad that Tim went home. I was shocked. I thought i was able to trust Jess, Alyssa, Devon but they all lied and now to me personally are dead to me. Like im still going to work with them until i have an opporunity to strike against them. Like Alyssa she’s great but now has to leaving sooner than later. Devon final 2 is dead, i would gladly vote you out but have to time it really well. Dani m Aidan dead even more but seems like they are worried about Alyssa Jess and Devon so might use them to take out Alyssa. But yeah last night was rough. I had this ‘thing’ happened to be that was triggered by this game and my class lab. It wasnt good. There was a dark low moment were i got a negative thought that I should just tell them to vote me out for unanimous week. My friend texted me and told me to think it thru and Im glad i didnt day anything. I still want to play and try to make it to the end. Only person i trust 100% with out a doubt is Jonesy. ❤️ Everyone else can leave. Except i also like TJ amd Jess.

I'm not sure where my vote will land tonight. If I vote JD, I lose a shield in this game. At the same time, if JD goes tonight in a 9-1, we start to build trust among those we previously blindsided.

If I make it an 8-2 or 8-1-1, then I'm worried that people will use the process of elimination to find out I flipped....

Another random note about tonight. If JD stays due to me, the next target becomes Chelsea.

Essentially, I am deciding between playing with Chelsea or JD....

Everyone is saying JD’s name like lets do this. But now everyone is afaid of an idol and i swear if the votes aren’t unanimous, im going to die.

If I get idol'd out in this format I AM FUCKING SUING.

I CAN'T GO OUT ON MY FIRST TUMBLR ORG IN A ROUND BASED ON A ZWOOPER GAME.

HOW FUCKING IRONIC WOULD THAT BE?

YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!

In all honesty I'm struggling hard this round. Idol's are so dangerous this fucking round. SO FUCKING DANGEROUS.

The mental gymnastics happening this round is insane.

I'm honestly having PTSD about this god damn format. The ONLY time I've ever cried because of a game was IN THIS FORMAT (thanks JOHNNY).

Today all I've done is try and repair relationships. I've worked harder than a hooker on a Tuesday today. I am exhausted. If I go this has been fun-ish.

I feel fuckig awful i worked too hard in this game to potentially get idoled out and that breaks my heart that that could happen tonight. apparently JD is writing down my name because she thinks i'm "Stubborn" and she wants to save me???? like if you wanna save me then like maybe don't vote for me?????? like i get the intent behind it with like,,,, the idea to save me but this is fuckin wit hme to my c ore . .Jess thinks JD's ly ing ad that she's voting for Jess, I just,,, fuck i really wanna die right noww yk i think i might be getting out there's like a 60% chance JD doensn't have an idol, and if she's comfortable enough then she wont play it. but there's a good chance I'll be going home. fukfalkdsfajsdads don't be surprised if i cry i'm just so upsetti/uncomfortable with the idea of going hope i tried too hard but um yeah

Wellp I’m really close with Aidan and so far I feel like we are doing really good. I feel bad because I lied straight to JDs face about voting jonesy. Instead I voted for her.

I'M DEFINITELY NOT CRYING OR ANYTHIGN FUCK

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survivor-themyscira-blog · 7 years

Text

Hello. It's raining outside today. And surprisingly, my game is going similarly. My last Idol Search ended with me stumbling over Raymonds corpse, resulting in me being forced to sit out the upcoming Reward challenge because I am SHOOK. Like a corpse would scare me... My hope is that my tribe has to sit out a player (since it's 6-5-5 atm) and that I can claim that spot. If I am forced to just not submit, then that's fair too. Minor blow. Nothing I can't recover from. (Famous Last Words) Besides that, RIP Ruthie. From what I've seen, you're awesome, but oh well... that's the game. Let the current Hippos jump at each others throats. I'll just be somebody you wanna be friends with. I feel very safe within Menalippe and I think I'd be comfortable in case we Swap. Cya! The Skies are crying over Ruthie... Don't cry, sky! You're next!

Wooo that tribal was Fucking lit. Obviously Jaiden proved he won't work with me. Seriously dude, sometimes you should just save big moves for merge. Way to single yourself out as someone I can't trust and that's what this vote was about. Finding who I can trust. Fun fact for all of you reading this post game, Madeline and I talk on the phone! I need her to work with me and she works with me!

Being close and working with Ian has become the best move I've made in the game so far.

So I had to have a couple of days away since I had an ill bubba but the tribe has been amazingly supportive, considering I expected to go asap - we haven't been to tribal yet so I still might -, its a nice friendly tribe and everyone tries their hardest so I just need to pull my socks up to match that!

DONT GIVE US FLASH GAME CHALLENGES WHEN JORDAN IS IN THIS GAME??? WHY?? EVERYONE HAS PLAYED WITH JORDAN PINES, NOT TO MENTION HE AND LILY ARE ON THE SAME TEAM AND THEY BOTH DOMINATE FLASH GAMES GRR

WHY DONT I READ THE MOTHER FUCKING DIRECTIONS?????? i fkdsjkflas fjkdsfkasdfk fjdsnkfasdkf god i truly hate myself i didn't read and then i submitted my first score for casanova and i- whew. i just didn't read. and we could only submit once. my hope is that other people on the other tribes also didn't read and submit shittier scores than me! lol but i got 70k which is good for me but for others? i don't know. i am shit at flash games okay i truly am. and which 1/2 of our tribe being inactive, i'm not expecting much out of this comp. the men lips are losing a lip tomorrow night. rip in peace to ... probably madison at this rate lmao. let's just hope she doesn't have any special powers!!! omg fjdkjfaslf but like she's been so inactive maybe she hasn't been searching the island? idk that's what i hope. and ruthie went home last night over rocks and i SCREAMED how can the rocks do that to RUTHIE!!! also i just talked to logan about this flash game and he says that he gets like two million on casanova and i just- WHAT H O W??????? i dont even know. i also just realized this is, in fact, a reward challenge, so i feel less shitty about my score. it's just reward but... logan thinks antiope is gonna win it and give us the disadvantage but like! that's ugly! anyways more like actual survivor related stuff going on, i think kai, logan, and i are going to make a group thing and roll with that. i feel a swap coming on soon but... who can never be sure? it could be at 15 and we're divided into three tribes or five or it could be at 14 and we're divided into two tribes of seven... i don't know which i'd prefer because i like having very few people on our tribe bc it's less people to talk to but also less options to vote out come tribal... ugly! also because half my tribe is inactive! this is >:-(

https://youtu.be/SIt2jOUDLug

https://youtu.be/9QhJFyjE6v0

https://youtu.be/XvkrD_DkVDA

It is currently 3:36AM EST and all the Europeans are up and so I’m talking to Amanda and Andreas. I think we’ve decided that Kai sit out this challenge, which I’m fine with. He hasn’t helped much the previous challenges lmao. Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about allies and who I want to get with. I have 0 alliances so far but there’s definitely an unspoken thing between Kai, Logan, and I (well, I know they’re very close so it’s probably not unspoken to them, but unspoken to me.). But I’m struggling because I’m starting to really like Madison and Amanda? The two people Logan and Kai want out? And this is definitely a predicament. So like... I love women. And my goal was to work with women. So you know... Madison and Amanda? But on the other hand, I love Logan and Kai. Logan really wants Amanda out for voting out Dan, who he was close with. And so I’m :-/. I like both sides and I’m just hoping that I don’t have to choose a side so soon. Or maybe I’ll luck out and convince people to vote out Andreas! Who can never be sure? I’m just stressed and not sure where I want my loyalties (I don’t actually have loyalty to anyone - so these are like alleged) to go. Logan and Kai or Amanda and Madison? Choices are to be made.

[11:18:20 AM] Jordan Pines: here drew make some confessionals for me [11:18:24 AM] Jordan Pines: tell them about my gameplay [11:18:39 AM] Jordan Pines: I’m aligned wiht lily and jack, sort of with rhone and nicholas and i have no idols [11:18:42 AM] Jordan Pines: do with that what you will [11:18:55 AM] Jordan Pines: make me sound smart

I MISS MADELINE WHY CANT WE BE ON THE SAME TRIBE AGAIN

I just royally flopped that challenge. SO BAD. Like okay... I had sixty seconds to think of things and one round I only got like five points! I'm literally such a piece of shit I feel like I'm going to HEAVILY let down my tribe!!!!!! If we lose because of me... at least I'm in a good spot socially but HOLY SHIT I'm so fkdjskla this is not good not good not good. I'm just hoping other people flopped this challenge too and that my last round (words that start with W) can save me. I got 26 points there... Probably could've gotten more but I'm a dumbs. I also couldn't think of any TV shows that have strong female leads! Like I'm not sure if there's like a shortage or if I just don't watch the shows. I got like 6 points and typed two wrong lmao. I even said the vampire diaries but a bitch has never seen vampire diaries so I was just guessing lmao. But I also spelled it wrong so ANYWAY! I feel so guilty I feel like I've helped a whole lot these past challenges and this one............. I flopped a whole whole whole lot :-/

Last game I played, I was the type of person to pour themselves a bowl of cereal and then realize that there wasn’t any milk in the refrigerator. This game, I’m checking the refrigerator before I pour my cereal. I’m not going to make dumb decisions then realize that my goals can’t be fulfilled. I need to think through everything. Also I love cereal

Apparently Survivor US is not a spin off show from Survivor that takes place only in the states so guessing Alabama didn't win me any points.

My name is Ian Eugene Layne, Commander of the Armies of the Devil's Lair, Generally well liked by the Aphi Sa Legions. loyal servant to the true Sole Survivor, Zachary Rae, ally to a murdered Icon, friend of the Robbed Queen And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Once again we skate by in second place!!! I love being immune!!! I have yet to go to tribal and I love it! :-) But I’m also sending a swap after this... whew. Let’s just hope that whatever tribe I end up on is full of comp beasts and allies! Woohoo! LOL anyways I love winning and I hope that keeps happening.

ok so i haven't made a confessional in 1900 years but i am so happy! i love this tribe a lot and think that all 5 of us left have a lot left to contribute to the game so i think it is 100% in my best interest to hope that we keep winning these challenges! there are some strong players like jordan on my tribe who i want on my side for sure! rhone & jack are cool too and i think that if we go to a tribal the majority alliance of hippos og might not be enough to keep me safe so it is definitely a relief that i am able to be safe this round. but numbers wise i think we are about to get either a swap or a merge into 2 tribes coming up so lets just hope that i can merge/swap into the majority! i also feel like now i have gotten rid of the 'inactive/slacker' stigma i had from og hippo and now people will take me seriously but they will also recall how i didn't attempt the first challenge so i'm less threatening! whew lets hope for the best!!

HAHAHAHAHAH Hippo back to tribal! I hate it for them, those are some nice folks but.... ha!

I’m so sick of losing challenges!!! UGH!!! I don’t really know what we’re gonna do this vote. I have a feeling my name will come up at some point or another, but right now I’m putting a whole ton of trust into Billy to keep our plans secret. Right off the bat, I’m pissed off that we lost by such a close margin. But then I realize just how terribly people performed in certain aspects of the challenge, like the second category??? It was literally Survivor seasons and everyone besides me scored less than 10. How hard is it to think of ten seasons of Survivor. Apparently, very hard because nobody was capable of processing that kind of information. So anyways, I get over this initial anger by campaigning to Ian that he needs to get rid of Toph and keep me around, even though I betrayed his trust last vote by forcing an unnecessary rock draw. My plea is that I’m good in the challenges and I have no power on this tribe. He and Madeline have that power, so it’s their choice to either keep me around as an asset or take a gamble with Toph and Billy. Billy and I both know that Ian and Madeline are going to continue to control what this tribe does for the long run. But Billy wants Madeline to go home more than anything, and I agree. I recognize that taking out Toph only delays the inevitable a lot longer – Madeline and Ian will remain loyal to potential previous tribe alliances than they will with me or Billy. Someone needs to deal with them, and unfortunately it has to be me. Losing Ruthie last round is both a blessing and a curse. I think it’s a curse because I lose one solid person I could work with for a long time, but it’s a blessing because she far too honest and nice to make the kinds of moves I’m gonna have to make in this game. If Billy went home last round, we would certainly take out Toph and gain zero traction within this tribe. Since I have Billy still here, we can actually take a shot at Madeline and Ian and hopefully take back a little of the control here. I’m going to throw Toph under the bus hard and pray that Madeline and Ian take the bait. I also hope that fucking Billy doesn’t backstab me at the most inconvenient time… I think Billy has better options with people not named Jaiden Hantz, so ideally I keep him thinking that I’m his BEST ally. Also, I don’t need Madeline and Ian realizing that Billy and I are super close and have them decide to just split us up. If they take out Billy, I’m FUCKED because I’ll have exposed my loyalties and look even dumber than I have before. Idk man. I just wanna survive the vote.

Damn son, Antiope is going strong! Poor Hippos getting their wings clipped. :'( But who cares about those as long as Men's Lips are safe? Either way, with this Immunity, I've guaranteed my spot in the Final 15... and I expect that a Tribe Swap is just around the corner. We could be put in 3 Tribes of 5... that would make sense imo. At this point, only Emily, Kai and Myself haven't attended a single Tribal Council and those two are my closest allies on my tribe now. Madison is our only outsider on Menalippe, but I tried to stay a bit friendly with her, since Emily said that she's close with JP, who I don't want to have as an enemy.... yet. In case of a Swap, I'd like Emily on my tribe the most (but seeing how well she does in challenges, she should be safe on any tribe until merge). I would be happy enough with JP, Madison, Kai, Logan, Ian and Toph. I'd be happy to play with Billy as well but I think he's the one who's getting voted out tonight. Idk the others too well or at all. If I'm with Amanda, it depends on who's on the tribe to see if I wanna cooperate with her or not. The weather today is as eventless as this day in Themyscira.

Damn... i really thouhht i did quite well... and yet we were like 10 points away from tribal and 200 away from first place... like we need to step up our game

Y’all I keep thinking about that empty spot when I jumped off the cliff... what the FUCK what there!!! Who has it now!!! Will this prevent me from voting someone out that I really want to vote out!!! Will this fuck me over!!! I don’t know what’s going ON MAN IM SCREAMING

Also can Kai and Logan just add me into an alliance chat already like wtf we’ve been talking about it for like a week let’s just DO IT

I really hope this vote goes the way we want it to. I feel if this hadn't gone to the rocks last time and we had Ruthie still we wouldn't have even been to this second tribal in a row.

Ugh my god this game is so slow paced right now. Cant we just have a triple tribal and like... idk vote someone out and have DRAMA!! I am bored out of my mind right here right now... Ughhh

I can’t decide who I want to join uS. If what they are saying about Madeline is true then her

QUEEN MADELINE SURVIVING THAT 3-2 VOTE NUT I CANT WAIT UNTIL WE SWAP TRIBES AND I CAN TALK TO HER AGAIN UGHHHHHH I miss her I want to be her BFF but queenie for voting out another boy I can’t wait to get all the tea on her tribe UGH I MISS HER jebwjwbwjwnw

Things might be getting spicy folks https://youtu.be/5ZWKrQnaVxs

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes

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thealesanauniverse · 7 years

Text

One thing that I regret the most my whole life

Okay Steven, you are so nosy 😂 (Actually I’ve been searching out on google on what seems to be the appropriate blog and it happens to be some questions like this so please please, I am not a professional blogger Steven, Okay I have no idea why am I explaining myself)

One thing that I regret the most, hmmmm. Let me think. Lol. Okay, it was the time when my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. Yup, that piece of shit had left a permanent scar on my very innocent precious heart.

Why do I regret it? So here’s how it goes. He was my first boyfriend ever. I never say this to anyone before but I actually hated guys. Not that I hate them because they don't have vaginas but because I find them tiring and like always wanna fight or like maniacs (exception to the guys in my family of course) I am really avoiding myself to be alone with group of guys, I don't know I’m scared of them but that was during my elementary years. On 6th grade, I had this puppy love thing to a boy, yeah, We became a thing for like 11 days and that 11th day I broke up with him because I felt disgusted. Yup. Disgusting. Hahahaha he is fucking cheesy and keeps calling me names like baby or what like ew no, He became my boyfriend because of peer pressure, all my friends that time had their boyfriend and why can’t I? So yeah he texted me if I can be his girl and I just said yes. HAHAHAHA SHIT. Anyway, This is not about him, this is about my first REAL boyfriend.

I don't know how to start. Shiz. Well uhh….. Okay, I met him when I was 4th yr hs, and to cutshort, we became a thing, everything went well, chatting, video chat, playing games, online stuff and the likes but not until I reached college. We were 7 months that time, I was really into achieving the DL in our school (i ain't smart nope) so I was kinda busy and kinda off on our relationship and really hooked on my studies, he said he understands, but that didn't last. After 2 months he started complaining about how I chose to go straight to the computer shop after a long day in school than to go home and chat him. And my reason was “baby it’s just my way of getting rid of the stress” and he said isnt he enough? And I feel really guilty on that but man, I am a gamer , Already a gamer right before I met him. That’s what I do but of course, for him, I stopped doing that. One reason? I loved him. So yeah that’s what I do, went straight to my house, talking to him while studying, sometimes he complained about how slow I replied to so I set a time for him and a time for my school works. Like 7 pm to 10 for him and 10 on wards for my school duties. But fuck that was really exhausting, sometimes I just cried at night because my brain is not functioning well due to lack of sleep so it is useless in the morning. One day I was so busy with my math class and something happened, we fought. I don't know but I snapped at him, I said okay let’s just end this then. And with that, we broke up.

I regret that I said that later on, I was just so tired and still adjusting to my college life because I wasn't active when I was in high school so I find it hard to cope with it and my course man, God. So yeah I was waiting for him to chat me like he used to every time we broke up but that time, I received nothing. So I chatted him first and had a conversation with him but he seemed uninterested and I was hurt on the way he acted so I just asked him directly to the point, can we still fix this? And he said “I’m sorry I'm confused” and I’m like why? Do you like somebody else now? He said no. And I said okay, I’ll respect your decision, I can wait :) and with that he seen me. I cried a lot that night. Like a lot because fuck I can feel how my heart cracks. And with that I threw my school life away, I started to slack again and be active on our game.

One day, his friends talked to me, they told me everything they saw, they said that my boyfriend was always waiting for that one girl to go online, sometimes he even asked them if she was online so he’ll come online too. They said that they were always together hanging out and to be honest, I didn’t believe them. I don’t wanna believe them.

So I talked to him, he never chatted me since then but I have to know the truth right?, so I asked him, you know what he told me? He said I am such a cheap girl because I easily believed on what other people say, and I told him wow they are your friends they are not just other people, he seen me. And he never ever talked to me again, It took all the guts in me to actually call his number but he didn’t answer it, he would always hung up, so I don’t know what to believe anymore, I started blaming myself. I blamed myself for not having much time for him. I developed an anxiety disorder and I was really then depressed big time. Because I lost him, I lost the guy I loved. I can still remember the most hurtful thing that he told me, "Why can't you just move on and leave me the fuck alone!" NSTP class. 10:51 am. Hahahahaha

Moving on from him was way harder than I expected, sometimes I found myself crying during class hours or while inside a vehicle on the way to school, I always cry every morning even before I went to school. I was like a walking dead person, I never went to my class anymore, I stayed on a computer shop every single damn day just so I can still feel that I’m alive. That is how badly my first heartbreak was, a few months later I had improved myself again, not crying anymore, not stalking him anymore and well I was talking to some other guy. So yeah, after 3 months, me and my ex boyfriend met again but this time on a group video chat, I was talking to **** that time so I didn’t pay much attention to them and I didn’t expect that he'll get jealous and yeah to cut it short , he once again came back to my peaceful life, I never mention earlier that within that 3 months of our break up he kept on appearing and disappearing on my life so I find it hard on how to react because what now? He’s just gonna leave again, He’ll hurt me again, right? But he said he already mean it now. He said he’ll never leave me anymore, And stupid me after 2 days, just only 2 days steven, we’re back again together. I was so happy, it was beyond happiness. All along I was waiting for him to come back, I was waiting for him patiently. But that happiness also didn’t last. After I opened his FB account, I don’t wanna believed it but I saw it, with my very own eyes, It was confirmed. He really cheated on me.

For all those times that I became the bitch in the eyes of his friends, he became the victim and I was the bad guy because I was accusing him, but fuck I was right all along. I was right. And here’s how my most regretful thing that I ever did with my life, I didn’t break up with him. I stayed, I was hurt so bad but then I was scared to lose him, I cant lose him again, I just can't. So within that exact day that I confirmed he cheated on me, was the day that I told him I’ll accept it, that it was okay, it was all in the past now, I forgive you. But no, every single night I lied to him, every goddamn night I said I’ll go sleep first but I don’t really sleep, I can’t sleep, I’ll just spend the rest of the night crying, crying till I fell asleep thinking why I wasn’t enough, why did I do wrong, am I ugly, is she that great, I had spent every day blaming myself before because I thought it was all my fault but then those people were right all along, his friends were right, and again those thoughts bugged me forever. I never had the chance to move on from that, Every time I brought that issue, he’ll get mad and say if you love me you really have to accept those, HAHAHAHAHAHA GODDAMN IT. WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

Sorry Steven, I know it wasn’t quite interesting but seriously that’s the thing that I regret the most, The moment I accepted his sin was the moment I lost my respect to myself, I lost my worth, I lost myself, I can't even remember who the hell I am, I became the girl who has a lot of trust issues and also that is the reason why my love for him faded, I felt nothing but numbness. BUT it’s okay I am okay now, I’m such a drama queen, am I? I have to end this here loves.

That’s why you guys out there, if ever your partner cheated on you, please, just please give yourself some time to think, you deserve a time for yourself, a space, always remember that if you act like you’re strong enough to handle such a monstrous disaster, you’ll end up like me. Just don’t. The one who broke you can never ever fix you, I promise you that.

HAHAHAHAHAH I GTG SORRRY ANYWAY GOODNIGHT STEVEN, talk to you on my next blog 🙃 I am so sleeppyy

Alesana.

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