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#i’ll update if i don’t fall asleep first
ao3screenshotss · 6 months
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btw they’re not posting anything about it on tumblr -> @ao3org at the moment but they’ve posted stuff on twt
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bubblegump-1-nk · 4 months
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Lost in Translation
pairing: Fem!Reader x Theodore Nott
summary: In which you and Theo are best friends, and secretly in love. But when Theo accidentally overhears a conversation between you and Enzo, he realizes you might not feel the same way…
Note: Ok y’all I’m sorry I PROMISE this will be my last Theo fic in a little while, I’m really going to try to write for other characters (and dw I won’t cheat and write for Lorenzo’s other characters ;)). On that note, I am going on many trips this summer and don’t know how much I’ll be able to write so I just want to get this story out before I leave for my trip tomorrow. Update: I didn’t finish in time and I’m currently halfway across the world writing this, having been awake for 23 hours straight, so if it stops making sense towards the end, pls forgive me 🙏🏼
~~~
It was a particularly warm day in March, so you and your friends decided to carry out your free period by the Black Lake. The sound of the waves lightly crashing onto the shore and the light breeze dancing through the trees was enough to make you want to fall asleep on the plush grass beneath you, but Pansy’s voice brought you out of your dreamy state.
“Y/n?” She spoke again, when her voice didn’t get your attention the first time.
“Mhm.” You muttered from where you were laying in the grass, a smile small placed on your face as the sun hit your skin so nicely.
“Dreaming of Theo?” Hermione inquired, causing Daphne to giggle due to your friendship with Theo being a little too “friendly”.
You shot up and glared at the girls. “How many times do I have to tell you, we are only best friends.”
This caused Daphne and Hermione to laugh even harder, and your cheeks flushed a bright pink.
“Ok, ok, whatever. Y/n, do you have the charms work?” Pansy asked, annoyed that her question had been ignored thrice.
“Yeah, I have it here.” You said, shaking your head to forget the altercation as you rummaged through your satchel.
“Speak of the devil.” Daphne said, causing you to look up.
Class must have gotten out already, hence why Theo, Enzo, and Mattheo were walking your way now.
You gave Pansy your homework and went back to resting on your makeshift grass bed.
“Forgot our invite?” Mattheo said, as the boys reached your group.
“You had class, idiot.” Pansy said, scribbling down your work.
“When has that ever stopped us.” Mattheo said, as he sat down and threw his tie off and gave Pansy a sassy look.
You felt your body being moved by strong hands you immediately recognized as Theo’s.
“Hey, you.” Theo said, as he looked down at you. He had moved you so your head now rested on his lap, a much more comfortable pillow.
“Hi Teddy.” You said, your eyes still closed.
“Theres other people here too, y/n”. Enzo joked, his mouth full with food.
“I know, I just don’t tend to say hi to people I don’t like.” You joked, making a face at Enzo.
He threw a piece of candy at you, but it was intercepted by Theo who put it in his mouth.
“What’s in the bag Mattheo.” Hermione asked, changing the conversation topic and drawing attention to Mattheo’s bag which was slowly and quietly jumping up and down.
“These idiots spilled some of our potion into my bag and it hasn’t stopped jumping since. You should have seen it before though, it’s calmed down a lot since then.”
Theo and Enzo began to laugh, and the rest of the group followed suit.
Theo’s hands were playing with your hair, like second-nature.
Enzo’s gaze burned down on the both of you, and you slowly made eye contact with him. You had drunkenly told Enzo about your feelings towards Theo after a party a couple weeks ago, when he brought you back to your room (a job that was usually taken by Theo).
“Careful, y/n, watch your step.” He had said, as he helped you back into your room from the Slytherin common room.
“Your the best Enzo, you’re really my best friend.” You had responded, turning to face him as you said it.
“Yeah you’re mine too y/n.” He said with a small chuckle. You two had known each other for ages, and your bond was like no other.
As he was helping you out of your clothes, you started to explain your feelings.
“Enzo, I can trust you right?” You asked, biting your lower lip.
He stopped momentarily, nervous. “Of course you can trust me, y/n.” He said, taken aback by your silly question.
“Ok, because what I’m about to tell you, you cannot tell anyone about. And I mean it. Not even your cat.” You said, turning to face him, your expression completely serious.
“O-ok, yeah. Of course.” He said, surprised by your quick change of tone.
“I mean seriously. If you told anyone it could ruin everything.”
Enzo gave you a skeptical look, what the fuck were you scared to say he thought to himself.
You took his silence as an invitation to speak again.
“I’m in love with Theo. And I mean really in love with Theo. I’ve thought about it for some time now and I just had to tell someone about it.” You rambled.
Enzo was silent for a moment, a small smile forming on his lips.
“Fucking finally you realize!”
“Mattheo, stop it! Do it yourself!” Daphne’s voice brought you and Enzo out of your shared daydream. Daphne snatched her potions essay out of Mattheo’s hands and slapped him with it, causing him to yelp out.
“Will you two stop it? Anyways, we better get going y/n.” Hermione said, collecting her stuff and getting up.
“Where to?” Theo asked.
“Harry and Ron are meeting us at Hagrid’s in a bit. We have to help him with some baby dragon he found.” You explained, getting up from Theo’s legs.
“Ok, see you at dinner then.” He said softly, helping you put your things away.
“See you.” You said to him, and then loudly to the rest of the group as you walked away with Hermione.
Theo stared at you as you walked away, his being consumed with you.
~~
Dinner was quick, and as you made your way out of the Great Hall, you detached yourself from Hermione, Harry, and Ron, to grab Enzo.
“Come with me.” You said, pulling him by his arm and giving him no time to ask questions.
You pulled him into your dorm room and closed the door.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m gonna stop being a pussy and confess! I’m tired of being hopelessly in love and I want to do something about it.” You explained.
“Fucking finally!” He said, repeating the words he had said that fateful night.
“And you’re going to help me practice.”
What..?” Enzo asked, a confused expression on his face.
“I need you to help me practice what I’m going to say. Please.” You said, throwing the last word in there to make it sound more like a question than a command.
“Ok yeah. Anything to finally get you two together.” Enzo asked, causing you to roll your eyes.
“Ugh, I can’t do it! What if he doesn’t like me back, and then I ruin our friendship and I lose him completely. I’ll tear the group apart. I-I can’t do this.” You say, sinking down to the floor, your worries consuming you.
Enzo follows you down to the ground, and grabs one of your shoulders gently. His other hand lifting your chin to look him in the eyes.
“Y/n, I love you, but you’re being so fucking stupid right now. Of course he loves you, it’s so painstakingly obvious. I mean everyone knew before you two realized it. He practically crumbles at the sight of you talking to other boys. So please, just do this.” He explains, putting emphasis on the last sentence.
“You’re right. I- wait, he gets jealous when I talk to other guys?” You ask, diverging the conversation.
Laughter erupts out of Enzo, and it vibrates through out the entire room.
~~
Little did you know, Theo had had a similar conversation with Mattheo the night of that party a few weeks ago, which was the reason for his absence in taking you to your room
He was sitting on the astronomy tower, smoking a cigarette when Mattheo appeared.
“Party’s down there, mate.”
“I’m not interested.” Theo had said, watching as the smoke from his cigarette mixed from the smoke created by his voice in the cold air.
“Why’s that?” Mattheo asked, sitting down next to Theo and taking a cigarette from the open pack on the ground.
“I can’t stand it anymore. Seeing her with other boys.”
“Y/n?” Mattheo asked, in which Theo confirmed with a small nod.
“My chest physically hurts when I see her flirt with other people. I’m physically hurting knowing I can’t be with her. Knowing I can’t love her.” Theo explains, tears brimming in his usually stole cold eyes.
“Then tell her. I assure you she would much rather flirt with you than those tossers.”
So now, Theo was on his way to your dorm, excitement and fear teeming inside of him. He was repeating the speech he had prepared earlier with Mattheo over and over in his head, but he knew it was useless. He knew he would forget all of it the moment he looked into your angelic face.
He ran up the stairs to your dorm room, pushing people aside and muttering apologies as he did so.
He ran down the hallway, excited to get to your door. He finally reached the dark oak, but was surprised by the laughter he heard inside. That wasn’t your sweet laugh. It was loud and boisterous, a boys. Theo waited outside your door, listening in. Had he misread the signs?
“Enzo stop it. Stop laughing.” You said.
Enzo? Theo thought, confusion clouding his mind.
“Ok, ok, yep, sorry.” Enzo said, laughter still slipping out of his lips.
“I love you, ok?” You said, after slapping the side of his head.
“Finally you realize. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids!” Enzo responded, and Theo’s heart dropped. It dropped and dropped until he was sure it was laying on the floor somewhere. His throat closed up and mouth got all dry.
You were in love with Enzo? How could he have missed that? How could he possibly have missed that? Tears threatened to spill, and he was damned if he let anyone see him cry. He ran out of there as soon as he regained feeling in his legs.
Theo wanted to crawl into the Black Lake and drown. How could the girl he’s been in love with since he was a child love someone else? One of his best friends for that matter. Why was his life always so unfair?”
~~
“Ok, ok I’m ready.” You say, after having finished your little improv love confession with Enzo.
“Ok, so what are you waiting for?”
“Now? You want me to go now?” You ask, your eyebrows shooting up and eyes widening.
“Yes, now! Stop wasting time!”
“O-ok, ok, fine, I’m going now.” You say, reaching for the door. “Will you wait for me? In here, please.” You say, turning back to face him.
“Of course.” He said, a smile small on his lips as he crashes down onto your bed.
~~
You finally reached Theo’s dorm, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you knocked on the door.
It was strangely silent on the other side, until you heard footsteps reaching for the door.
You fought back the urge to walk away, your stomach was flipping and your palms were lightly sweating. Wtf am I doing? You thought.
“Yeah?”
You were taken aback by Mattheo’s presence, even more so by his face. He looked almost, unhappy to see you. Something you had never experienced.
“Is Theo here?” You asked, eyes trying to dart around Mattheo’s body to see inside the room.
He gave you a look you couldn’t quite understand, but it seemed angry.
“Nope. I’ll pass on a message if you want.” He said, uninterested.
“Er, no it’s alright, I’ll just come back later.” You explained.
“Or maybe not.” He said, closing the door in your face.
You stood there shocked, had he really just done that? What was going on? Where was Theo?
You concluded that he had probably been with a girl, thus his urgency and blocking you from seeing inside. Whenever girls got with the boys, they were typically jealous of your friendship with them (although you never understood because they were all practically your brothers), so perhaps he wanted you out before the girl got angry.
You left, walking back to your dorm. The confidence dissipating out of you, and you decided you would just do it tomorrow.
Unbeknownst to you, Theo was actually in the room, wallowing over his lost love.
~~
The next morning you slowly got out of bed, rolling around in your comfortable sheets as the sunlight seeped into your room. It was a slow Saturday and you had nothing planned other than a Ravenclaw party you were debating attending.
You slowly got yourself out of bed, reminding yourself of the large task at hand: tell your best friend your in love with him, no big deal. You got dressed and made your way down to breakfast, and you kept finding yourself wiping your sweaty palms against your shirt.
As you walked into the Great Hall and made your way over to the table, you noticed immediately that Theo was absent, and Mattheo as well. You quickly scanned the table to find Enzo and when you locked eyes, he gave you a sympathetic look followed with a shrug. You went over to your table and quickly ate breakfast.
The rest of the day was just as strange. You didn’t see Theo all day, which never ever happened. You two were practically attached at the hip. It was strange not having his presence around you, and you swear you were having withdrawal symptoms.
The strangest thing occurred towards the end of the day, when you were walking down the hallway and you saw Theo walking a ways away in your direction. But as soon as he saw he, and you swear he saw you, he turned sharply into the boys restroom, looking down.
~~
“Cmon y/n, please come!” Pansy said, trying to drag you out of your bed to go to a party with Daphne and her.
“I’m sorry, Pans, I’m just not feeling it.” You stated. You had been crying for a while, coming to the conclusion that not only does Theo not love you, he hates you.
“Ok, ok. But, if you change your mind, you know where we are.” She said, finally giving up and leaving your room.
~~
Enzo was leaning on the arm of a couch, drinking fire whiskey and laughing along to Draco and Blaise’s remarks.
The Ravenclaw common room had been expanded, yet it still felt stuffy with the huge amounts of people inside. Blue lights were dancing around the room and music was pumping loudly throughout.
Theo and Mattheo were sitting somewhere else, Theo stating he couldn’t stand even looking at Enzo or he would kill him. But eventually, he got enough drinks in his system, trying to numb the pain of his heartbreak, and got up to make his way to him.
“Wow, mate. Where you going?” Mattheo asked, grabbing Theo’s forearm.
“I’m not gonna lay a hand on him.” Theo said, glaring at Enzo and shaking his arm out of Mattheo’s grasp.
He took long strides over to Enzo, Draco, and Blaise, and his cup sloshed back and forth, liquid spilling over the sides.
“Hey mate.” Blaise said, him and Draco both unaware of any drama.
Theo nodded to him and Enzo shared a tight lipped smile, and looked down at his cup. The air was so tense it could’ve been cut in half with a pair of scissors.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” Theo asked, after beats of silence and staring daggers at Enzo.
“Uh- I- my girlfriend?” Enzo asked, taken aback. The fear emanating from his voice at Theo’s violent look.
“Yeah, your girlfriend. Y’know, y/n.” He said, his voice laced with brutality.
“Y/n? What are you talking about?” Enzo asked, his brows knitted in confusion.
“I heard you talking to her. Saying how much you loved one another. Ringing any bells?”
“Wait, Theo, what the fuck are you talking about?” Enzo asked, Blaise and Draco listening in intently.
“Wow, you are a shit boyfriend. I fucking heard you saying how much you love each other when I was outside of her dorm. It was two fucking days ago and now you can’t even remember?” Theo said, his face fuming with anger.
“Holy shit, that’s why you started acting all weird? Mate, that’s not even close to what was going on.” Enzo explained, Blaise and Draco were watching like it was a reality tv show.
“Oh, so your love confessions were just pretend, or?” Theo said, talking to his best friend as if he was scum.
“Yes, you idiot! She was practicing what say to you!”
“What?!” Blaise said, covering his mouth when he realized it was out loud.
Theo blinked, looking around to all the boys. Mattheo had appeared when he heard the commotion getting rowdy.
“What..?” Theo asked, looking intently at Enzo.
“She’s in love with you! She asked me to practice what to say to because she was going to tell you. But then you got all weird and stopped talking to her. Now she’s sure you hate her and she’s been crying for hours.” Enzo explained.
Theo looked at him with blank eyes, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Well? What are you waiting for? Go!” Mattheo said, pushing Theo towards the door.
Blaise and Draco cheered, and Enzo sat back releasing a breath, thankful that he hadn’t just been beat to death by Theo.
~~
“Go away Pansy!” You said, after a knock was placed on your door.
You had been laying in bed practically all day and were wallowing over your lost love.
“It’s not Pansy.” Theo said shyly.
“Theo?”
“Can I please come in.”
“Uhm, yeah.” You said, quickly sitting up and trying to make yourself look more presentable.
The door opened slowly, and Theo walked in, his face was soft and kind.
“Can we talk. Please.” He begged.
“Yeah.” You said quietly, eyes searching his face for a clue of what was to happen.
“I’m so sorry y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought you were in love with Enzo and I- I just couldn’t handle seeing you.”
“What? Why would you think I’m in love with Enzo?”
“I came round to your dorm last night to talk to you, and I heard you and Enzo inside. You were talking about how much you loved each other. And I just, my heart broke. Because I’m in love with you y/n. I’ve loved you ever since I have known you and I couldn’t bear to be around you after hearing that you loved my best friend and that I would never have a chance to love you.” He ranted, tears coming to his eyes as he stood before you.
“Theo, I- I don’t love Enzo.” Was all you managed to get out, because your throat was closing in quickly now and tears were threatening to spill if you said anything else.
“I know that now.” Theo said, with a light laugh. “And I’m sorry if I’ve ruined everything between us but I want to make it up to you and if you still have any feelings for me at all, please, please tell me because I can’t go on pretending I wouldn’t burn the entire world for you if you asked any longer.”
You smiled, tears falling from your eyes.
“Of course I fucking love you! I’ve been in ruins thinking that you hate me, Teddy.”
He melted at the nickname and made his way over to you, sitting on your bed and wiping your tears from your cheeks. You both were smiling at each other, and after gathering yourselves for a minute, he asked, “Can I kiss you?”
You laughed at the silly question, because, of course you wanted to kiss him and answered by smashing your lips onto his.
~~
GOD SORRY THIS IS SO LONG and the ending is super rushed because I didn’t want to keep writing
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clockwayswrites · 10 months
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A Broken Sort of Normal, Part 18
WC: 1565, Masterpost
“Here to bring me to a debrief?” Danny asks the shadow lurking in the doorway. He swears that Batman almost looks chastised at that. “It’s fine, Batman, I know how these things work.”
“The core Titans are insisting on being there, for moral support,” Batman rumbles. “If you aren’t comfortable with that, they’ll be sent away.”
Danny chuckles; that really is like them. “No, I might as well only go through it all once. Besides, that’s sweet. Can I at least take the time to put on real clothing?”
Batman narrows his eyes at Danny. “You’re still injured. Loose clothing only.”
“Gods, how does no one see what a dad you are,” Danny teases.
Batman smiles, just for a moment, before he turns to sweep over dramatically out of the room. “I’ll send in Flash with some approved clothing.”
“That better be my Flash you’re sending in!” Danny calls after Batman. When the doorway is free of the luring hero, Danny lets himself fall back against the pile of pillows.
A debrief. How is he supposed to explain any of this? So far he hasn’t been allowed to explain things, really. Part of it is that he’s spent most of the last several days asleep. When he has been awake, it’s to a rotating cast of heroes; all heroes that he was close to and knew behind the mask. With every able bodied hero busy with clean up, no one has been able to stay long. He sees Barry the most, what with the other’s leg, but even Barry is busy helping coordinate the recovery efforts.
(Danny’s also pretty sure that they’re using the chance to visit him as a way to make people take a break.)
While the heroes are with him, it’s been mostly Danny getting updated on everyone and whoever is with him getting information to update everyone else with. They won’t even let him work, but they do pass on information about his crews at least. It’s Wally who’s with him the most. Wally was there the first time Danny woke and as Danny breathed through panic attacks and to patiently reply to the endless stream of messages for Danny.
Speak of the devil… Danny’s phone chimes again.
He can’t look at it.
He hasn’t been able to look at it since the first message from Jasmine came in. Since they all remembered.
Wally hadn’t asked. He had just let Danny shake apart in his arms and has handled Danny’s phone from then on. ‘This is Danny’s boyfriend. He’s alive and will recover. He’ll contact you at a later time.’
“I thought we put that thing on silent,” Wally says with a glare at the phone as he steps into the room.
Danny makes shameless grabby hands at the clothing. “So did I. Who is it?”
Danny’s proud that his voice doesn’t shake at the question.
Maybe it’s fair that they’ve all been avoiding the big big questions. Maybe it really is obvious that he’s still only hanging on by a thread. He certainly feels less like a live wire and more like the one, stubborn fuse still humming in the circuit breaker.
He certainly feels weak.
“Jasmine again.”
Danny sucks in a staggered breath and lets it out slowly. “Just… just tell her that I’m sorry, but I can’t yet.”
Wally presses a kiss to Danny’s temple. “I’ll remind her that you’re healing too. You just worry about getting dressed.”
“What, don’t want to help out with that part?” teases Danny as he undid the tie at the base of his neck. The Watchtower might have pretty nice quality, but any medical garb was going to be a little scratchy, and Danny is glad to have it off. He’s careful with his taped over IV port as he slides on the plain white shirt and then the well worn hoodie. It has a faded Nightwing logo and smells like Wally.
Something in Danny’s chest relaxes a little as he buries his face into the fabric and it nearly makes him sob.
“Danny?”
Danny just shakes his head.
“Oh, babe, it’s okay, I’m here. I have you.” Wally tosses the phone onto the bed and wraps Danny up into a hug. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been around—”
“Don’t, you were saving lives,” Danny says and tucks his face against Wally’s neck. “It’s what you needed to be doing.”
“Yeah, well, I’m here now. I’ve officially been pulled off duty. My job right now is you.”
“I don’t want to take you away from anything important.”
“You aren’t. Babe, you’re why we’re all still here. Let yourself be cared for, okay? I promise if anything comes up that really needs my help I’ll go, but let me make you my priority,” Wally urges.
Danny closes his eyes. “I told myself I’d never ask that of you. I know what you are.”
“You aren’t, I’m offering. Please, babe, let me make you my priority.”
He wants to. Gods does he want to. He wants to go back home to their apartment and have Wally with him and just let the other take care of everything, just for a little bit, just until it stopped feeling like his insides were hollow. Just until he could be okay enough to lie and say that he was fine.
Just until then.
“Okay. I— yeah, okay. I think I need that right now,” Danny manages to admit.
“Thank you,” Wally whispers like it was Danny doing him the great service. “First act, let’s get you out of those pants.”
“You cad,” Danny gasps dramatically.
Wally rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling now so Danny counts it as a win. “And get you into the sweatpants.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to debrief in sweats,” Danny says as he lets Wally help him finish changing. He’s a little less balanced in his feet than he’d like to be.
Okay, a lot less balanced.
Wally doesn’t even let him walk to the debrief, instead he insists on pushing Danny there in a wheelchair. Danny knows there’s no shame in needing a wheelchair, but it doesn’t help him be less frustrated at the way he feels weak down to his bones. Hell, he feels weak down to is core. At least he gets to move himself to a regular chair once they’re inside the conference room.
"Thank you for being willing to do this, Danny,” Wonder Woman says. She’s leaning forward, arms resting on the table, and offering a smile. At the table is a selection of other top tier members: Batman, Superman, a Green Lantern (Hal Jordan in this case), John Constantine, Zatanna, and, right next to Danny, Barry.
The Titans are off to the side, slightly behind the Dark members, in chairs that were obviously dragged into the room. Garfield gives Danny an enthusiastic thumbs up that almost makes him laugh.
“Of course. I get why there are questions,” Danny says instead.
“There are,” Superman agreed. “Now, as you aren’t a Justice League member and are in no way under any sort of investigation, this is going to be a bit informal. We’re just trying to make sure our report on recent events are as clear as possible.”
Danny huffs out a breath of air. His gaze darts over to Wally before dropping. “It’s a big more than that, isn’t it?”
“Kid?” Barry asks gently.
“You all want to know what I am, which is fair. If I could have, I would have told you.” Danny looks back at Wally again and gives a half hearted smile. “Sorry I couldn’t.”
“Why couldn’t you?” Batman asks, though the rumble of words isn’t unkind.
A sour smile twists Danny’s lips. “Curses are like that. Aren't they, Laughing Magician?” Danny hears Constantine and sucks in a breath and steels himself to look up at him. “How much do you know about her? About Desiree?”
Constantine shakes his head. “Not much. It’s not wise to go digging into the affairs of a member of the Infinite Realms, even an ended one.”
“Speak normal for the rest of us,” Hal says. “A who of what?”
“Infinite realms. That means a sodding ghost,” Constantine snaps.
Barry scoffs. “Ghost’s aren’t real.”
“Boo,” Danny replies. His smile is slightly too wide.
“Not funny, Danny.”
Danny shrugs. “Not trying to be. I’m half ghost.”
“How is someone half ghost?” Hal asks.
“I’m like Schrödinger’s Cat,” Danny explains. He can’t help for for his gaze to flick over to where the Titans are sitting and find Wally’s eyes. “I’m still in the box, basically. I’m half alive and half dead. Both and neither. A balance.”
“A myth.” Constantine leans forward. He taps the butt of his unlit cigarette against the table. “Or so we always thought. You telling me that you’re a halfa?”
The question pulls Danny’s focus back to the main table of heroes. “Yep. One of three. Me, my godfather, and my clone.”
Superman clears his throat. “Ah, your clone?”
Danny just gives another shrug. “Shit gets weird when you’re a teenage vigilante.”
“Danny,” Batman says, and Danny can’t help but smile again because the man is clearly one step away from pinching the bridge of his nose like he does as Bruce when one of his children is driving him mad. “Start from the beginning. State your name for the record.”
“Danny Jasper Fenton.”
---
AN: Vote was in favor of splitting it up. I've got a chunk of the next part written, so hopefully I can get it finished up next week! Sorry if there are lots of issues, words and me are struggling atm.
Poor Danny is really struggling with things as his world has once again changed. And what will everyone think of him now...?
I no longer tag, instead you can subscribe to the masterpost.
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m3hgumi · 1 year
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— when you have period cramps pt 2
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a/n: check out part 1 to this here!
pairings: yuta okkotsu x f!reader, toge inumaki x f!reader, nanami kento x f!reader
genres: fluff, comfort, so much fluff bye
word count: 729
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yuta okkotsu
bro was SO STRESSED 😭
first time you were doubled down in pain clutching onto yourself on the sofa in the common room of the dorm he thought you were dying
“oh my god y/n are you okay? why are you laying down like that? is something hurting you? tell me where it hurts, i swear i’ll beat up whoever tried to hurt yo-“
“babe calm down and just get me a heating pad from maki. please.”
“on it 🫡” HES LITERALLY SO CUTE PLEASEKWKSKS
usually he’d stay by your side bringing you snacks whenever you asked or just talked to distract you from the pain
this later turned into hour long video calls during his downtime when he started training with miguel overseas
he’d talk for as long as he could, sharing the new food he tried, what miguel has been teaching him, and updates on the mission that led him there
because of the time difference and also how busy he was, he wasn’t able to reach you as often as he’d like to
he’d apologize for not being able to physically be there to comfort you, which you would wave off with a laugh because there isn’t really anything that could be done about it
he was trying his best though and that’s all that mattered to you 😪
inumaki toge
like itadori he was also very confused at first as to why you were wincing in pain while walking awkwardly towards him
he’d calmly ask you if you got hurt anywhere, with his hands reaching to you as he thought you were about to fall over
once the two of you got to somewhere more comfortable (like the common room or his dorm), you begin to explain where the pain was coming from
he could only sympathize with you, giving a worrisome and concerning look
but now he also realizes why maki gets snappier than usual on a particular week of the month 🤭
from then on he would be your personal errand boy, grabbing pads, chocolate, or any other good you’re craving from the store whenever you asked
he’d let you lay your head in his lap as you kept the heating pad on your lower stomach
he’d get you to watch youtube videos and tiktoks with him (anything you like)
if your cramps were getting particularly bad, he’d gently take your hand and draw circles on it in an attempt to ease the pain
if you’re comfortable with it he’d also do the same on your stomach (where the pain was really coming from)
though he can’t really endlessly talk to you to distract from the pain, his warming presence was more than enough to lull your mind from the pain
nanami kento
over the years he’s gotten very good at helping you get through shark week
like megumi he also has your period tracker synced to his phone so he can be notified of when he should stock up on supplies (ie. pads, compresses, snacks, pain meds, etc.)
he’ll also try (keyword: try) to not go into overtime at work so he could as much time with you as possible
also like megumi he isn’t fazed by your emotional outbursts or mood swings, as he knows its just the pain getting the better of you at times
if you don’t usually have an appetite while you’re on your period, he’ll cook you a small meal and slowly feed it to you, making sure you actually ate it before going back into the kitchen again
he’ll also try to limit the amount or cravings (chocolate and chips) you eat during the week and replace them with healthier options like fruit (ok health icon nanami 🙄) since he doesn’t want you having a stomachache after eating all of those sweets
also because it mildly reminds him of gojos gross sugar intake
if your feet or shoulders are aching, he’ll gladly give you massages to ease the tension in those areas
if you get bored of the shows on tv then he will read to you until you fall asleep
his reading voice, typically dull and monotone, rings music to your ears as your consciousness begins to slip away, resulting in your eyelids coming closer together to let you fall into a peaceful sleep (i should maybe shut up now)
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safination · 7 months
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Partners in Death... and Life
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Part 3: Not Everything You Hear From the Radio Should be Trusted
| Part 2: Radio Will be Dead if He Doesn't Explain Himself| Part 4: The Radio Star’s Co-host Just Wants To Do The Dishes||Masterlist| ao3| Tag-list| Parings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem!reader, established relationship, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm still trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) Reader is in hell for a reason. Please take note of the following warnings: Body horror. Graphic descriptions of injuries, glass piercing skin, cutting of skin, cutting of chest. Dissection of Human muscles. Misogyny Just…be careful out there
Series Summary: After a seven-year absence, you find the man you were married to in life, not only back in town, but also helping... *checks notes*... the Princess of Hell run a hotel aimed at rehabilitating sinners who were sent to the bad place for a reason.
Hello. I usually aim to post on Wednesdays, and I knoooow it's not a Wednesday. But, in my defense, this chapter is longer than chapters 1 and 2 combined. Also, I tried to keep the body horror to a medium level. I tried to find a perfect balance of horrifying but also still readable. Would you guys want more body horror, or less, or is this a good amount? Updated: 5/01/2024 *just realized that I forgot to add the part I was supposed to add*
The heart monitor beeps with a steady rhythm. The model’s ECG reading dip, but that’s normal for her species. You study the model asleep on your table, and take your place.
Turning to your interns, you adjust the fit of your gloves as say, “Are you ready?
From the other side of the table, Lys nods her head with such vigor that you’re afraid it would fall off. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be!”
Heme takes their place next to you, wheeling the cart within your reach. “Aren’t there supposed to be more people here?” they ask, adjusting the fit of their mask with their shoulder. “We don’t even have an anesthesiologist present, and the technician dumped the tools and left without a word!”
Sighing, you take another look at the screen, and monitor the patient’s ECG readings. Just a couple of decades ago, you wouldn’t even be allowed to take five steps into a surgical suite, but in your death, you stare at the state-of-the-art Vox technology heart monitor.
“This was dumped at the last minute. And the Vees paid a hefty amount for the best,” you say, smiling to yourself. “I guess it doesn’t help that most of the staff have clocked-off for the night already.”
“It really doesn’t,” Heme says. You think they frown, you’re not actually sure. It’s hard to tell with masks on, but Heme sounds like they’re frowning.
“On the bright side, this is a special case, and special cases require special means,” you say. “Stick around, and I’ll make sure to show you something amazing.”
Lys squeals, jumping a bit, “I can’t wait to see your work.”
You turn to Heme. “Tell how you were guided into stopping the bleeding by Doctor Neisseria.”
Heme straightens, round their shoulders. “Hemostatic dressing for the capillaries,” they recite. “Then Lys clipped the bigger vessels, and Doctor Neisseria used an electrocautery for any that we missed.”
“Good,” you say. “Lys, is this your first time using a clip?”
“…Yes,” Lys tells you. Even with a mask on, you could tell she was sulking.
You eye the cart between you and Heme, double checking that the technician brought everything you requested for. “It shows,” you say. “Practice every chance you get. Make a deal with some poor and down on their luck Sinner who wouldn’t mind making a deal for permission to poke around whenever you want. They’ll heal on their own if it’s not too severe…or don’t—I mean, that’s how I did mine.”
Lys blinks at you. “I’ll…keep that in mind.”
Your shoulder slumps. “…Shall we just begin?”
Heme hands you a needle driver, the needle already clipped to it. A bunch of suture forms around your palm. It’s study, and made of pure Sinner Magical Energy, or just magic or whatever. It comes out of your and you have full control, that’s all you need to know.
Heme and Lys lean closer to observe the threads you make.
I don’t get to do this often.” You turn your head, motioning to the detached arm placed on the side. The skin has been stretched and the jagged and stringy muscle fibers sticking out tell you it’s been ripped off rather than slice. The radius protrudes out into the air, jagged and sharp. It would have hurt this model quite a lot. “Steady her arm please.”
Lys snatches the arm, holding it with confidence as she steadies it. “This is so cool.”
Heme hums. “Cool in a gross way.”
“Whether your patient is awake or not, a steady hand is key,” you say. “When you pierce your needle, be sure to do it right at the epidermis when dealing with the skin. Too deep and you’ll puncture the arteries or nerves.”
Lys brings the arm closer, and you do the first suture that will connect the limb of Velvette’s model. Valen-something apparently tore her up, but it wasn’t enough to kill her. So, they rushed her into the Emergency Room three days before this poor girl’s debut, and dropped her into your care with her arm and leg in an ice box.
You sew the model’s arm. The threads around your fingers are light, but sturdy. You entwine some around your fingers like some puppet master for better grip. Blood vessels, bones, nerves, and muscles. Not a single cell escapes your control.  
You quiz your interns from time to time or tell them to take a closer look at where the vessels stick out the muscles, making sure they’re able to observe how a proper reattachment is conducted.
You study the threads connecting the arm to its body There are thousands of loose sutures. One single pull, and it will be completely reattached.
You shift your shoulders and crack your neck, giving it a slight stretch. “How long has it been?”
Lys glances at the clock behind you. “Five hours. I think it’s almost sunrise.”
“Be ready to be here for a while,” you say, rolling your shoulders. “The leg will be more complicated.”
Heme groans and their shoulder slump. “I guess I should just be thankful the model is mostly humanistic.”
You pull on the singular thread, and the stitches shorten until the arm is fully connected to its base. A thing line is the only indication that any limbs have been detached.
The door swings open and you snap your head at the sound.
“Hey doc!” The little Egg Boi saunters into the room, an envelope in his tiny hands. “I got something for you.”
Your feathers crack and sharpen. “If you wish to keep your shell,” you hiss at him, “you will leave this room before you contaminate it further.”
Egg Boi #04 wobbles a bit. “I was told to give you a message.”
A headache forms on your temples. You want to massage it, but that would contaminate your gloves. “Lys, show the egg to the observation room. Show him the microphone.”
Lys pouts a bit but exits the surgical suite.
Heme grabs the leg, and you begin again. You pause to take a deep breath. The threads don’t just appear out of thin air—they’re created because you will them to take shape. It gives as much as it needs to take from you.
Egg Boi# 04’s voice echoes on the speaker. “I have a note for you.”
“Read it then leave.” You pierce the tibia bone with your needle (special hell needle, you guess. Normal needles definitely cannot pierce bones) and connect it to the model’s leg.
Your concentration does not waver, even as Lys enters back into the room.
“My dearest good doctor,” Egg Boi #04 reads. “What a helltastic day for –"
“Stop!” you exclaim, and the threads you’re producing fizzle a bit, “Is that from Alastor?”
“Uhhh…yes?”
“Give me 10 minutes.” You sew the model’s leg just like before, starting from bones, then vessels, the muscles, and finally skin, but this time at a much faster pace.  
Thousands of strings connect the detached leg to its place.
Heme gawks at you. “I thought the leg was more complicated?”
“It is.”
“It took you five minutes to sew everything,” they say. “Why did it take the arm until sunrise?”
“You wouldn’t have been able to learn anything if I went too fast.” You hand the needle driver to Heme, who takes it with eager hands “I trust you will be able to close for me?”
“Yes!”
“Go around the skin—remember not too deep,” you say. “Once it’s all connected, just one strong pull and the threads should work their magic. Lys, once she closes, you can practice your knots.”
The door closes with a swing. You discard your gloves then peel off your protective layers, but you keep the scrub cap on your head.
The Egg Boi waddles into the room, threatening to tip any moment. He holds up Alastor’s note and you’re forced to bend when you reach for it.
You open the envelope and sigh. “This is a letter, and definitely not a note,” you say counting all the pages jammed into the envelope. “Notes are small pieces of paper, and not fifteen pages of paper scribbled back-to-back.”
You take one deep breath, flaring your nostrils as you contemplate your marriage choices, and begin reading.
Heme enters the holding room as you’re reading through the last page.
They take a look at the pages you’ve read. “Ohhhhh a letter?” they say, discarding their mask into the trash. Their gloves are next. “Who is it from?”
“My husband.”
“Why a letter?” Heme asks you “Why not just shoot you a text or a phone call?”
“He mumbles to himself when he writes, and he just loves hearing his own voice.” You turn to the Egg Boi once you’ve read the last word. “Tell Alastor I’m busy—I can’t leave work to go to the hotel on such short notice!”
“Right….” Heme leans against the sink. “Management will be dropping by this afternoon.”
Your eyes squint. “This afternoon? I was told there'd be visiting tomorrow!”
“Yes, they informed you last night,” Heme says. “It’s tomorrow now—morning, actually.”
Your eyes twitch as your turn to Egg Boi #4. “Tell him I will be early. Now go, run along now, least you get scrambled.”
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Bustling sounds from the other side of the circus themed doors. You knock then take a step backwards, least Vaggie greets you with a fist to the face.
A crash sounds from the inside. The door slams open, and Charlie pops out, hair disheveled and sticking out in odd places. You see the relief oozing into her. Charlie’s smile relaxes and her eyes stop bulging at the sight of you.
She says your name with enthusiasm. “It’s just you! I am so glad to see you.”
You wave at her. “Hello, Charlie. It’s good to see you as well.”
“Would you like to come inside?” she says at the same time another crash sounds. Charlie’s smile turns sheepish. “I hope you don’t mind the mess.”
“It’s quite alright,” you say with a polite smile. “Who am I to judge another person’s mess? It can be quite entertaining sometimes.”
 Charlies smoothens the stray hairs sticking out. It does little to actually fix it. “Sooooo what brings you by? Not that you’re not welcome here! Everyone is welcome here! We don’t discriminate at –”
The door swings wider and Alastor pops out with that permanent smile of his. “I called her here.”
Alastor helps you out of your coat as you enter through the doors, and drapes it over his arm. “I came early. I hope you don’t mind,” you say, glancing at the crudely attached banners. Strobe lights are being taped to the railings. Its brightness makes you blink. “Are you throwing a party? Is that why you called me here?”
Alastor hangs your coat on the rack. “We’re preparing for a sudden guest,” he says. “It seems we’ll have to delay our plans, only if you’re happy with waiting for me.”
Charlie shrinks and her eyes water a bit. “Alastor…,” she says with a frown. “If you have plans, that’s alright—go. We can manage without you here!”
“Not at all, this is where he needs to be right now,” you tell Charlie, placing a hand on her shoulder. Her smile brightens immediately. “Who will be the special guest today?”
Charlie fiddles with her fingers. “We…invite my…dad.”
Alastor twirls his microphone. “The King of Hell himself.”
“Oh,” you start, “the demon is coming here?”
“That’s actually Satan,” Charlie says with a smile. “Dad often gents confused with Satan but they’re not the same
“Oh…So, Lucifer is coming here.”
“Pretty much.”
You laugh a bit—you’re not even sure why. Maybe you shouldn’t have laughed. It sounded so awkward, even to you. “Well, how can I help? If it’s alright with you, of course.”
Charlie’s eyes brighten, and she shakes your shoulders. “Are you sure?”
Alastor grabs Charlie’s fingers with the tip of his own and pry them off you. “I’ve already come all this way,” you say, and turn to your husband. “I’m sure we can make the most out of this situation.”
Charlie leaves to change her clothes, and hopefully brush her hair while she’s at it.
Alastor offers his arm, and you loop your own around his, even when you know it’s unnecessary to escort you to a living area that’s five-feet away.
He leaves you, walking to the kitchen with a wave of his microphone.
The hotel looks the same, just more diverse colors hanging around. Niffty stalks past you without a word, engrossed in her task of sweeping the floor. Angel Dust or Vaggie don’t seem to be around, nor is Husk at his usual post. Only a one-eyed cat keeps you company.
On the table,  deflated balloons are left forgotten with two pumps resting next to it. You take your seat, and complete the unfinished task.
You’re on the third balloon when Alastor presents a mug to you.
He leans over the chair, reaching his arms to place that ‘Oh Deer’ mug on the table. It’s difficult to meet his eyes when he leans so far in front that his whole face is upside down.
His hair hangs in the air, and your husband looks goofy in such an awkward position that you can’t help but laugh. “You look awful this hellish morning!” he says, and his grin widens until his teeth show. “I thought you could use a bit of brightening up. You’re practically dozing off in the chair.”
 “Thank you,” you say, a small smile on your face. “The coffee smells good.”
Alastor swings back, and lands next to you. “I know we agreed to leave such tasks to you,” he says and he waves his arms as he talks. “But you look ready to drop dead any second. Poor Niffty had swept about a hundred feathers on your short walk from the door to this chair—Long day?”
“Longer day, actually. Yesterday’s long day turned into a late night that bleeds into today’s early morning.” You take a sip, and revel in its taste. Even after all these years…his coffee still tastes like acidic bean water. (If you smile, then that’s your business.) “The coffee tastes good.”
Alastor crosses his leg, cracking a laugh hard enough for his eyes to bulge. “You didn’t even try to check if it’s been tampered,” he says with that same wild smile. “Are you that tired, my love?”
You smile at him, lips curving bright and wide. “My deerest, did you place something into my coffee?”
“Not at all.”
“That’s disappointing,” you say, taking another sip. “That suit of yours could use some brightening up! A splash of this bean water would add such an interesting texture to it.”
“We’ll it good to see you’re not tired enough to lose your way with words,” Alastor says, smiling at you. “But if you’ve had a ‘longer’ day, you could have sent the Egg Boy—"
“It’s Egg Boi, my deerest.”
Alastor squints, his brow furrowing as he does. “That’s what I said.”
“You said Egg Boy, deerest,” you tell him, taking a longer sip than usual to drown your laughter. “Those eggs are called Egg Bois. They have different numbers—except Frank.”
On the corner of his cheek—just where it’s always been—Alastor’s smile strains. “You said the same thing as I did.”
“Egg Bois.”
“Egg Boys.”
“Egg Bois.”
“Egg Boys.”
You chuckle a bit, and take another long slip. “If you say so.”
Alastor rolls his eyes and he makes it a point to show you he’s doing so. “You could have mentioned to that egg creature that you’d had a long day.”
“Management was dropping by my floor today.” You grab another balloon to pump it.
Alastor’s head tilts, and you hear the small crack of his neck. Static fills the air. “Well, I’m always glad to be used in such a way.”
You roll your eyes, making it a point to show Alastor that you’re doing so. The sharpened feathers and the glow of your eyes were just for the fun of it. “There is another reason why I dropped by the hotel.”
“Do tell!”
You knot the end of the balloon and throw it to the side. “Who am I to refuse the summon of the Radio Demon?”
“His wife.”
You snort, and toss a balloon at him. One balloon becomes two and now you’re just tossing whatever balloon you could get your hands on.
Alastor pops a balloon and static emits from his microphone.
You cross your arms, staring down at him. “I was going to use that.”
Alastor grabs the second pump. 
An hour passes too soon. They always seem to do around your husband. The balloons are stringed and weighted. Razzle and Dazzle—the two lambs Charlie made a point to introduce you too—put up a…er… interesting banner on the railings.
Sir Pentious slithers out the kitchen, a tray of cookies in his hold. The Hazbin Hotel looks lively. The space looks decent—live in — as if Sinners actually gathered and used the space. (Those are your favorite kind.)
Sir Pentious offers a cookie to you, and you munch on it. You give him a compliment for its taste.
By the entrance, with Vaggie to her side and Alastor at the other, Charlie takes a deep breath, her nostrils flaring as she does.
Vaggie gives her a smile, and Charlie opens the door.
The bringer of sin rushes to his daughter, drowning her in a hug.“Chaaaaarlie!”
Charlie squirms in his hold. “Heeeyy, Dad!”
Egg Boi #13 and Egg Boi #08 twist their poppers and confetti pops into the air. Niffty grabs her broom, sweeping the floor.
You watch Lucifer, and try to hide your smile. The King of Hell looks different from any paintings or drawings humans make. They can’t seem to capture how shy he looks. How awkward. No painting has been able to capture his search for a place to belong.
This Fallen Angel has blond hair. He’s not the brunette you thought he’d be, which was a shame for you rather liked brunets. It makes sense he’d be blond. Afterall, Charlie has blonde hair as well, and she is the spitting image of her father.
If someone told you it was Lucifer who birthed her, you wouldn’t be able to deny it.
“It’s finally nice to put a name to the face.” Alastor shakes Lucifer’s hand with his microphone, wiping his own right after. “You are much shorter in real life.”
You turn aways, coughing to hide your laughter as Alastor banters with Lucifer.
Husk rolls his eyes at you and grumbles. “Of course, you’d find that hilarious,” he says. “Everyone knows it's smart to insult Lucifer.”
You place a hand on your cheek. “Guilty as charged.”
Charlie brings Lucifer to meet your group. He calls Vaggie, Maggie. Smiles awkwardly when Angel Dust calls him a ‘short king’. Lucifer waves back when Husk waves at him, and shrinks when Niffty jumps and pulls him by the collar. One by one, you’re introduced.
You extend your arm for a handshake.
Lucifer smiles awkwardly, shrinking a bit, but reaches out to shake your ha—
The chandelier crashes to the floor.
And oh God…
Lucifer begins to sing.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Your hair sticks to your face.
Water droplets splash on your clothes. You accept your fate, and trudge through the rain, even as your fingers freeze. The breeze blows your hair, making you nuzzle into your damp coat. You should have brought an umbrella, or taken a cab. Just your luck, a sunny day turns into a drizzle that turns your shoes into a lake. You hate damp socks.
An umbrella blocks the rain from your soaked clothes.
You spring out of its coverage, spinning to look behind. Your arms jerk out, causing you to wobble because of the wet pavement. (That’s totally not embarrassing.)
 “The point of an umbrella is to stay underneath it when it’s raining.” Alastor smiles, giving you a small wave.
You wave back.
“Oh…hello,” you say, adjusting the straps of your bag. Alastor takes a step forward, and you jump backwards. “I’m alright—I can manage by myself.”
“Why don’t you tell me all about your very capable self from underneath the umbrella,” he says, twirling the umbrella. “Come on, now.”
You dip your head inside. Alastor inches closer, but there’s still a respectable gap between your shoulders. “I’m really alright,” you say. “I quite love the rain.”
“Yes, the rain is a beautiful thing to frolic underneath when you’re in a meadow,” Alastor says. You can’t help but feel that Alastor is scolding you, “not when it splashes off buildings and drips off power lines and other items that have not been cleaned. We are in the city, my dear.”
“You really don’t have to.”
“My mother would roll in her grave and haunt me when she finds out I left a lady in the rain.”
“But—”
“Constant refusal is quite rude, you know,” he tells you. “And I still owe you one favor.”
“You really wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all,” Alastor says with a smile that makes you smile back. “If it makes you feel more comfortable, I’m happy to leave my umbrella in your umbrella-less but capable hands, and be on my way.”
You shake your head, inching closer. “We can share if you don’t mind walking.”
“I love walks. It keeps me stimulated.”
Alastor follows your every step, covering you with an umbrella that was meant for one. You glance at his shoulder, and turn away to hide your frown. Half of his shoulder sticks out into the rain, gathering droplets, while not a single speck of water slides on you.
Alastor is giving you the bigger half of the umbrella.
“Would you mind holding this?” he asks.
��Not at all,” you say, and take a hold of his umbrella. Alastor is taller, and you have to quirk your arms higher to avoid hitting his head.
Alastor slips out of his coat. You watch him slide it off his shoulders and pull his arm out the slits. He’s wearing a vest—a fine vest as well. Alastor flicks out stray waterdrops. He leans close enough for you to smell his cologne. He drapes his coat over your shoulders, grabbing the lapels to adjust its fit. His body heat lingers. It’s warm…he’s warm.
Alastor pries the umbrella from your grip with a wide smile. “Before you say anything, the only response that I will be accepting is, ‘thank you’.”
“Thank you, Alastor.”
“You’re welcome.” He adjusts the angle of the umbrella, careful to keep every drop of rain from touching you, even at the cost of his own clothes. “Whatever made you decide to walk?  There are cabs and busses for a reason.”
“It wasn’t that bad when I started,” you say. “Plus, I was eager to get home.”
He keeps his eyes ahead. “It’s still quite dangerous.”
You step over a puddle, narrowly missing it. “Dangerous?”
“Yes!”
“The sun is—well, was still up when I began walking.”
Alastor hums, shaking his head. “Murders and thieves do not magically dissolve in the sun.”
You smile to yourself. “I’m sure you’re quite knowledgeable on that subject.”
Alastor turns to you, and his hair shifts as he tilts his head. “Pardon?”
“I heard your voice on the radio this morning,” you tell him, adjusting his coat around your shoulders. “I caught the news segment.”
“Well,” he starts, his smile widening. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “you must have been busy when I mentioned the forecast then.”
You inch closer as much as he’ll allow you, trying to keep a respectable distance, but still close enough that Alastor doesn’t need to sacrifice his clothes to keep yours dry. “Speaking of radio, what brings you to this area?” you say. “Isn’t the radio station all the way across town?”
Alastor laughs in a way that makes you wish you’ve kept your mouth shut. “Have you been tracking my movements?”
“Not at all,” you say and try to mimic his laugh. It comes out strained instead. “I just know how to read a map.”
Alastor steps over a puddle. He places a hand on your back, guiding you away from it. “I just had some business in the area,” he says and drops his hand. “I turned the corner and I found you walking all alone in the rain!”
You smile, careful to keep your eyes forward. “I’m thankful to whatever beings that fated our paths to cross.”
Alastor leans closer, eyeing your hands. “Been gardening recently?”
You glance at your nails, at where stubborn soil sticks underneath the cuticle. “No…not at all,” you say slowly. “I guess you could say…light treasure hunting…?”
“The more I get to know you, the more I find myself dumbfounded at your wide range of hobbies.”
“I hate seeing things go to waste.” You try to ignore the squish of your socks. You are definitely never forgetting your umbrella again. “For example, your garbage is my treasure.”
“What a wonderful philosophy to live by.” Alastor meets your eyes and smiles.
You smile back. “Indeed, isn’t it?”
Alastor’s hold on the umbrella stays firm, even as he follows you around the corner and across the street. Not a single drop of water lands on you. “What treasure were you able to find?”
“You have a lot of questions for me today,” you say and ignore the thumping of your heart. “I feel as if you know me more than I know you—I think that’s rather unfair.”
“Well, what would you like to know?”
You move your foot to avoid puddles of trash. The city could really use a good cleaning. “You know so much about my hobbies. So, I’d like to know some of yours.”
“There isn’t really much to tell,” he says. “The radio is my life.”
A strong breeze has you sinking deeper into Alastor’s coat. “You have your hunts.”
You glance at Alastor, and oh…his hair is as brown as his eyes. Wisps of hair stick to his face because of the rain.
Alastor’s brows furrow a bit, but you swear his smile turns sweet. “Those are more of… a necessity than a hobby.”
“In what way?”
“The woods around my area have a lot of… let’s say… mammals that don’t necessarily belong there, it is as if someone just leaves them from time to time. I hunt a few here and there to thin the population a bit.”
You smile to yourself. “Well, tell me about the radio—What is that like?”
He places his free hand on his chest. “Why, it is the proper medium of expressing oneself, of course.”
“It must be nice having such a creative outlet,” you say. “Sometimes, I wonder how you’re able to come up with the most exciting segments.”
“Sadly, you would think after all these years of bringing success and money into the company, I would be allowed to have more control over my content.”
You step over another puddle. A small tug on Alastor’s arm, and he steps over it as well. “That is quite sad to hear.”
“For example,” he starts, adjusting his hold on the umbrella. “I wanted to have this whole portion just on crimes that have been committed.”
“Like… the news?”
“No, not at all,” he says. “I was thinking more on the lines of old cases like robberies and murders—some solved, some not. Unfortunately, the director said it would be too gruesome.”
“It really depends on how you choose to present it,” you say. “I think audiences would love a good mystery with a satisfying conclusion.”
“That is exactly what I thought so as well!” Alastor’s smile widens. “I came across this story…Oh, well I wouldn’t want to bother you with the details.”
“I’d love to hear this,” you say, chuckling. “Show me how you would present it.”
“One winter night,” he starts off with that never ending smile on his lips, “a child—no ordinary child—disappears in the middle of the night. There were no signs of a break in and nothing other than the child was taken from the home. Not a single dust was out of place.”
“Wait, what was so special about the child?”
“I will tell you,” he says. “That child was the two-year old son of aviator Charles Lindenberg! Some newspapers called the child the ‘Eaglet’ because his father had become the first man to fly across the Atlantic Oce—Oh, why are we stopping?”
He angles the umbrella, careful to keep you dry. You smile at him and point at the small apartment complex behind you. “This is where I live.”
Alastor doesn’t frown, but his smile droops a bit. “Oh…” he says. “I was getting to the most interesting portion of the story—what a shame.”
“A shame, indeed,” you echo. “You have such a captivating way of conveying your words.”
“Thank you.”
The rain splatters on the umbrella. It’s not going to stop anytime soon. Your socks are damp and it’s starting to get colder. “Would you like to finish what you were saying?”
Alastor’s smile widens, just a bit, but it was enough for you to notice. “On the month of May, after continuous searching, a tiny little corpse was found abandoned on the side of the road. Forensics determined that the baby was bludgeoned to death.”
“It’s quite funny,” you tell him. “You talk of such gruesome murders but I find myself captivated.”
“Indeed.”
“Thank you for going out of your way for me, Alastor.” You slip out of his coat, returning it to him. It’s cold—has it always been this cold. “Will I see you around?”
“Of course,” he says. “We always meet in such unconventional places.”
You duck out of the umbrella, giving him one last smile and head up the steps.  A twist of a doorknob, a few flights of stairs, and you would be home. You were tired, your socks are soaking, and the back of your clothes stick to your skin. So, why…why do you find yourself running back into the rain?
“Wait!” you find yourself exclaiming.
Alastor covers you with his umbrella. “What’s wrong?”
‘I… I may have a problem.” The words are slipping out of your lips. “Are you busy by any chance?”
“Not at all.”
“What about your business in the area?”
Alastor raises his eyebrows. “I can always come back.”
 “Would you help me?” You bite the inside of your cheek.
“Of course.” Alastor brings the umbrella closer to you. “What can I do for you?”
“I think…” you begin to say. Stop. Stop! You should turn back; head inside where warm clothes and a bath awaits you. “I think I’m in the wrong area.”
Alastor laughs, and it’s that same breathy and light laugh as before. He drapes his coat over your shoulder once more, and adjusts its fit to secure it around you. It’s the warmest thing you’ve ever experienced in your life. “I wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I left a lady stranded in the rain.”
“Not at all,” you say with a smile that you do not remember smiling. “Lots of scary thieves and murders out there—apparently they don’t disappear during the day.”
Alastor nudges you along, down the path, to a destination either of you have the faintest idea where it will end.
Your feet stay locked in its place, and you hold Alastor in your gaze. (His bowtie is crooked, and even with his coat around you, he looks presentable. His vest matches his shoes. You note how his smile is asymmetrical, and how his eyes are still as brown as his hair. Alastor’s glasses are frosted, but he doesn’t seem to mind.)
“Are you alright?” Alastor asks you.
“I’m fine. It’s just….” You shake your head and smile. “It would be a waste to forget this.”
“Come on,” Alastor says in a voice that is oh so soft. He offers his arm, and you hook your own around his.
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“Motherfucker!” Husk curses into the air, his ears quirking as he does. “Would it fucking kill you to be gentle with that shit?”
“I am being gentle.” You stare him down, keeping the towel pressed firm against his foot. “Would you want to know what it’s like when I’m not? I’d be very happy to comply.”
“………No.”
“Then settle down, Husker,” you say and use your free hand to grab the forceps from the hotel’s medical kit. “This will be much easier if you stay still…or don’t and give yourself a harder time. I’m not the one with glass sticking out of my foot.”
Husk sinks into the clinic bed, sulking as he crosses his arms. He picks on the pillow, fidgeting with its seams. “Bitch.”
You raise your eyebrows and huff. “Virgin.”
Husk’s fangs show when he growls. “I am not…grandma.”
Your feathers bristle. It’s smart to keep Husk talking, even if hurling insults is the way to do so. If it keeps him distracted, you won’t complain. “I died in my late twenties…or was it my early thirties — I honestly forget.”
The blood on his foot begins to clot, and you toss the towel to the waste basket. You walk to the sink, rinsing stray droplets of Husk’s blood with soap.
“Settle down then, grandma,” he says with a triumphant smile, and you roll your eyes. “Today, it’s your memories. Tomorrow, it could be anything.”
You plop on the clinic chair, waiting for your hands to dry. “Yes, it would make sense you’re familiar with the signs,” you shoot back, “considering you lived long enough to be called Pawpaw — Is that why you’re a cat?”
Husk barks a laugh, his wings flaring. He grabs the pillow and tosses it to you. It hits the side of the chair and langs on your lap. You pick it up and toss it back at him. “At least my husband didn’t walk out on me for several years without so much as a word.”
You chuckle, and settle his foot on your leg for better access. Taking your forceps, you brush away slivers of glass from Husk’s foot …or would this be his paw?
You clip a shard of glass, and glance at him. When Husk doesn’t whine like a little bitch, you pull a shard and drop it to the metal pan across you. “At least my marriage lasted even through death, Arachnid Simp.”
Husk rolls his eyes. You smile when his whiskers twitch. “Where did you even learn that word?”
“I see you’re not going to deny it.”
Husk sinks deeper into the bed.
“This wouldn’t be happening if you—I don’t know—wore these things called shoes?” You pluck another shard of glass. Husk tries to jerk his foot away, but your hold stays firm. “They were invented a long, long, time ago, and were created to keep your feet protected.”
“Stop talking as if I’m a child.” Husk frowns and his teeth stick out. “Wearing them feels weird.”
“I guess they kind of are weird.” You grab a fresh towel when blood squirts out of Husk’s foot. “You die and then suddenly waking up to see you don’t have toes
A beat passes between you. “Do you…do you not have toes?”
You toss the towel, and pick out the last shard. “Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.”
“What does that even mean?” Husk growls, running his palms over his face.
“I…have absolutely no idea.”
You reach into the medical kit, grabbing some dressing. You peel the plastic and toss it to the trash, and press it against his foot.
Egg Boi #03 waddles up to you, a gauze roll in his tiny hands — you weren’t aware the little egg creature was in the room. You thank him with a smile, and wrap the gauze roll around Husk’s paw then his ankle. Satisfied, you clip it in its place.
“You’re all done,” you say. “It might be weird to step on it for a few hours, but it’s not impossible. The glass didn’t puncture you too deep.”
“Good to know.”
“Oh…and just in case, the amount of blood you saw isn’t anything to be scared of. There’s just a lot of tiny vessels on the foot. That’s why it took a while for it to stop,” you say and toss him a new set of gauze rolls and pads.
Husk stares at the items. “I don’t know how to use this.”
You stare at him, leaning into the chair. “Just slap the square on the skin and roll the gauze around your foot.”
Husk hops out of the clinic, keeping pressure off his injury.
It takes a while to clean up after yourself, but Egg Boi #03 keeps you company. The little egg speaks a lot of nonsense, but it’s entertaining nonetheless. You flick the lights, and Egg Boi #03 follows behind you.
The chandeliers had been dragged away, and the glass and debris cleared off the carpet.
Mimzy’s hug makes you take a step back.
You squirm in her hold, placing a placating hand on her shoulders.
“I am sooooo glad you are here!” Mimzy exclaims, shaking your shoulders. “This is like one big reunion, ay. Just between you and me, that Lucifer is a real looker—shame on Alastor for not warning a gal. I would have dressed better, and who knows? Maybe I could be the Queen of Hell. Ha!”
Mimzy grabs your arm and drags you to the bar. Husk pours you a drink with a nod, and stalks away. Seeing him hop up the stairs makes you laugh.
You swirl your drink. “It’s always good to see you, old friend.”
“Not that old!” Mimzy swats your arm, a huge grin on her lips. “And there’s no need to lie to me, darling. I doubt you actually feel that way.”
“Well, I still have those burn marks on my wall from the time you decided to play bartender with matches.”
Mimzy barks a laugh, and her legs kick. “C’mon you can’t still be blaming  me! If I remember correctly, it was Alastor who brought out the matches.”
Angel Dust walks up to you with Sir Pentious trailing behind him. You wave.Sir Pentious waves back, his hood flapping open.
“Mind if we join ya?” Angel Dust asks.
“Not at all,” Mimzy says. “I’m always weak to such lookers.”
Angel Dust takes the seat next to you and pushes back his hair. Sir Pentious takes the one behind him. “Sooooo, you two and Alastor run in the same circles.” He takes a drink. “And you guys are friends with him?”
You take a sip of your own drink. “You could describe it that way.”
“Well, those are your words, not mind, but I think it fits.” Mimzy glances at you, a knowing smile on her lips. “But our good doctor here is more than just—Hey! Why do you look so surprised?”
“Well, I just didn't know he had any of those. He's been here a while and is still a big, creepy mystery,” Angel Dust says. Sir Pentious nods, his head squeaking as he does “What's his deal?”
Mimzy is happy to explain tall, dark, and creepy’s ‘deal’.
“But before that, he was the prime bachelor of my day,” Mimzy says. “Not a single lady wouldn’t want a taste of that twink. But eh… I wouldn’t wish marriage with Alastor on even my worst enemies. It would be a real shock when you die and find out your hubby’s got a real screw loose.”
“Well, it wasn’t a shock to me,” you say, rolling your eyes. You swirl your drink—hmmm, it’s good to know Husk still knows what you like.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” Mimzy chuckles nervously. She scoots closer, elbowing you lightly.  “You happy he’s back? I still remember the few months you’d visit my place to look for your deerest, most darling Alastor, Mimzy at the bottom of a bottle.”
Your eyes twitch. “Quite pleased actually,” you say and force a smile. “It’s great to finally see my husband again.”
“Husband?” Angel Dust chokes on his drink.
Sir Pentious tilts his head and his hat slides off a bit. “Oh you’re married?”
You show them your ring, wiggling your finger. “Indeed.”
Sir Pentious puffs out his chest. “I would love to meet thisss husband of yours,” he says. “If you cannot be my rival, he can fight in your stead.”
“That wouldn’t be a smart idea
Mimzy stares at him. “He’s not the brightest is he?”
Angel Dust drops his drink with a clink. “Pause,” he splutters. “Shut u—” He coughs, still reeling from his drink going down the wrong pipe. “Shut up. Plause. Pause!”
Sir Pentious frowns, and his tongue sticks out. “No one elssseee is talking.”
“There is no way,” Angel Dust says. He turns to you, eyes bulging. “I refuse to believe that Freaky got hitched.”
Sir Pentious gapes, and his hoop opens. “Alastor is married as well?”
Mimzy slaps her forehead and points to you. “He’s married to her!”
“You are mess’in with me,” Angel Dust says. “Well, you can’t trick me. I refuse to believe it, toots.”
Mimzy takes a swig of her drink. “No one’s mes’in with ya,” she says with bright eyes. “They had a big white wedding and everything. I even got to bless them with my singing.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Mimzy glares at Angel Dust, a hand on her hips and her noise in the air. “You calling me a liar?”
You place a hand on Mimzy’s shoulder. “It was a good day, wasn’t it?” you say.
“Could’ve been better without the rain,” she says shrugging.
The lights flicker. Static fills the air, making your skin buzz. The bar glows a faint green. “The rain made it sentimental actually,” you say and glance up the stairs. “We quite like the rain.”
Angel Dust crosses both sets of arms. “I thought you said you were friends.”
“I said partners,” you tell him. “Alastor said friends.”
Angel Dust blinks at you and sighs. “So, you married him? Like you’re his wife.”
“I am, indeed!”
“Are you sure?”
“I sure hope so,” you say, crossing your legs. “It would be weird not to be sure considering I was there in a white dress, walking down the aisle.” Mimzy barks a laugh, and the feathers on her head sway. A part of you hopes she topples off the chair.
“Uh…Is this something we should know?” Angel Dust asks. “He’s not going to try to kill me because I learned about this right?”
“We’re not trying to hide it, but we don’t broadcast it either,” you say. “And well…no wife likes to be introduced as a ‘friend’.”
Sir Pentious’ tongue sticks out. “Does Alasssstor own your soul or something?”
You empty your drink and revel in the taste. “We got married back when we were alive.”
Angel Dust reaches across the bar, grabbing a whole bottle off the shelf with his long arms. He pops open the cork and takes a swig straight from the bottom. “I still have trouble belive you,” he says, squinting his eyes. “I just…I can’t!”
“Your belief, or lack of, won’t change the fact that I have a ring,” you say. “And it’s not really for you to believe, now is it?”
“Why…?” Angel Dust’s mouth quirks into the cutest frown. “Why…ya’know?”
You sigh and place a hand on your cheek with a smile. “He makes me laugh.”
Angel Dust makes a face, and coils back like he’s been shot.
“Oh he’s a total kitten,” Mimzy says with a bright smile. She inches her glass closer to Angel Dust, and he fills it up for her. “Catch him in a good mood or pour him a drink and play some jazz and he’s totally harmless.”
“You still shouldn’t toss caution into the air, Mimzy” you say. “If I were you, I’d be wary about trusting Alastor just because he likes cleaning up your mess.”
Angel Dust crosses his arm, and his eyebrows quirk. “Ain’t he your hubby?” he says. “Isn’t there this whole spiel about trust and love and faith and all that other boring vanilla shit.”
“He wouldn’t be the Radio Demon if he could be trusted by just anyone, now would he?” you say. “It still crosses me when I remember how he lied to me.”
Angel Dust’s eyes shine. “You said no wife likes being introduced as a ‘friend’.”
“Yes?”
“It must have crossed you quite a lot, huh?”
You shrug, a bit confused. “I mean… I wasn’t really a big deal at the end of the day.”
Angel Dust’s smile widens and that golden tooth of his shimmer. “I want to know everything.”
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Despite the rain, clear skies show the moon, not a cloud in sight.
The flashlight clipped on your collar shines on your path. Your boots sink deep into the mud, but that’s alright. A few inches of goo won’t stop you from your destination. You adjust your leather medical bag—double checked that there are gloves inside.
Between those two trees, your treasure lies buried.
You lay your kit on some nearby stones and reach in for your gloves. You dig until bits of the cadaver’s skin stick out. You brush the soil of his chest and peel open the flaps of his skin. The underside of his skin has blood vessels attached to it. It was worth cutting out the fat to have a glimpse.
Superficial fascia connects his muscles to his dermis. You take your probe and disconnect the thin filament. It reminds you of spider-webs.
You discard your probe and exchange it for the bottle of formaldehyde. You can’t study the whole body, not when it’s exposed to the elements. His fingers are starting to rot, but that’s alright. The chest is all you need, for now. So, the chest is all you’ll preserve.
The cheesecloth you placed on him last night is still damp. Good, that means it’s been sanitized this whole time. You take the cheesecloth and wife it against his open cavity, sanitizing every surface you can reach.
The formalin stings your nose and burns your eyes. It makes you cough, but you push through the pungent chemical.
You peel off the cheesecloth and use it to spread formalin into the deeper crevices between his skin and muscle.
Good. There are no maggots yet. It means you still have time.
You discard your gloves for a fresh pair and prepare your tools. You take your forceps and clip the scalpel blade onto the handle. You lay all your tools on a clean cloth for easy reach.
A human’s adipose tissue buildup is thicker than animals. This man’s fat is soft, easily squishable. Sadly, you’re not here to study his fat.
The scalpel blade is balanced perfectly. Throughout this Earth, no… not just Earth, but Heaven and Hell as well, nothing will ever be as perfect.
You slice through his adipose tissue, discarding it behind you, carving the cadaver until a nice rectangle opening forms. Muscles are grey, not like the red color printed on textbooks. You run your fingers along the smooth fibers of his pectorals. It’s slimy. That’s probably moisture mixing with the formaldehyde.
You quirk your shoulder to adjust the angle of your flashlight, still running your hand on his pectoral.
There, on the side of the chest where a muscle resembles a fan, do you find what you’re looking for.
Taking your probe, you define the muscle. You don’t use your scapple—never a scapple, because it could slice the fibers. You’ll scrape off the muscles later when it’s time to move on to the systems.
You take a pen and write your notes.
Muscle name: Serratus Ventralis. Description: The Serratus Ventralis appears to be a fan-shaped muscle, just like Hyman writes it to be. Although he’s not describing humans, I think it looks the same. Will double check to see if such similarities are indeed correct. Just like the book says, I can see the muscle extending anteriorly and posteriorly from the scapula and to the walls of the thorax. The Serratus Ventralis appears to be divisible into anterior and posterior portions, with the anterior originating deeper into the body. (Will cut open if there is still time.) The posterior border seems to be where it originates from, and while it is buried by other muscles, I think it originates from somewhere between the ribs. Origin, Insertion, Action: Origin: Textbook says it originates from the outer surfaces of the upper eight or nine ribs.  (Will double check once I’ve moved on.) Insertion: The muscle fibers appear to move upward to the side. Inserts along the anterior surface of the medial border of the scapula Action: If it indeed is inserted from the scapula, this could mean that it could draw the scapula, forward, backward or against the body.
You flip to the previous page, and cross out Serratus ventralis. You move on to the muscle on your list: Xiphihumeralis. Based on the name, the muscle should pass through the xiphoid process to the sternu—
“Is this what you meant about my trash being your treasure?”
You startle, jumping back until a tree hits you and there’s nowhere else to escape. Run. Run. Run! Your heart screams at you, hammering in your chest. No one is supposed to be here. You’re supposed to be alone. You were careful—not careful enough, apparently.
Alastor emerges from the trees.
He waves at you when your gazes meet, but you don’t wave back. He’s smiling. “Hello,” he greets you with a gentle voice that strikes your core. It would be foolish to mistake his gentleness for kindness. “And yet again, I’m forced to comment on how you have such interesting hobbies.”
You press deeper into the tree, even if a knot digs into your back. “This….” You pause, trying to find your voice. Do you run? “This isn’t a hobby. I’m merely studying.”
Alastor drops a bag on the ground. It looks heavy. “A man?”
“A cadaver,” you say, careful to keep your voice steady. You cannot let this man see any cracks. “They’re already dead, aren’t they? Wouldn’t it be a waste to let them rot like this? At least now, their sorry lives will be making a meaningful contribution.”
The admission of your crime was easy to say. You don’t want to know what that means about you.
Alastor laughs. It’s not that breathy and light laugh he had earlier. This one is lighter, more elated. “Please, tell me more.”
You harden your heart, searching for any speck of bravery. “Why would I?”
Alastor smiles until his teeth show. The moon makes his brown eyes glow—you did not think it would be such an attractive color. “I’m the one holding the large knife.”
You glance at his hand, and oh…that indeed is quite a large knife. It’s not even a kitchen knife, but a proper hunting blade meant to kill. “I see you’re resorting to threats,” you say and you don’t know why you do. It’s not really a smart idea. “I did not think you, a man, would feel the need to say such things to a woman.”
“That was barely a threat,” he says. “I’m just curious to know your motivation to dig up trash.”
“I’m studying—that’s my reason.”
Alastor waves the knife as he talks. “Are there no other dead bodies for you to prey on?” he says. “Don’t hospitals have an area specifically to keep the dead?”
“Only morticians or medical students are allowed access,” you say. “I am neither.”
“Why not become one then?”
“Women as doctors are still a relatively new phenomena,” you say. “There is not a single medical school in this area that will allow me to study, nor are there any that won’t bring me into debt.” Your blood boils and it replaces your thumping heart. It still beats in your chest, but it’s not because of fear. “I needed to find a way to learn, to study, and textbooks could only describe it in words. I want to see for myself.”
Alastor plays with the tip of the knife. “Sounds like a classic case of lusting for knowledge.”
“If lust is to be my sin,” you start and a wonky smile appears on your face, “pride would be yours. A classic case of judge, jury and executioner.”
“I do not need to explain myself to you.”
“Well, you are holding the larger knife,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “Anything more you’d like to know?”
Alastor hums at you. “How did you figure it out?”
“A little bit of a suggestion?” you say, and you can’t help but smile to yourself. “You should buy suspicious items at different times and places. Your turn—How did you know I was here?”
“A little bit of a suggestion?” he echoes laughing like he’s told the funniest joke. “You shouldn’t have told me where you lived so easily. I thought I would have to hang around your clinic for a few days before I got your address.”
“I made sure to be careful.”
“You weren’t in the slightest,” he tells you. “Even an animal is harder to track. It was quite a surprise to see you heading in this direction.”
“Wait…,” you say slowly. “Hang around the clinic? You…you were stalking me?”
“I wouldn’t say stalking,” he says, putting his arms up. “And if we’re pointing fingers, you would have had to follow me around for a few days to learn where I buried my trash.”
Your eyes drift to his bag, and then to his knife. Realization hits you like a cruel bus. You face heat. “You!”
“Me?”
“You lied to me!” you say, venom lacing your words as you puff. “You had no business in the area, nor did you randomly spot me! You followed to kill me, didn't you?”
Alastor smiles at you.
“Oh my God!” you scream at him, throwing your arms into the air. You point at him, glaring “You’re still going to kill me?”
“I can’t exactly let you leave, my dear,” he says, rolling his eyes. “What did you think?”
You stare down at him from your nose. “Don’t be so brainless,” you spit, crossing your arms. “If you would use this thing on your head called a, ‘brain’, and use it to think, you would be able to deduce that you’re currently not in cuffs.”
Alastor glares back at you, tightening his grip on the knife. You don’t give a single flying fuck.
“Since you are adamant on not using your brain, I shall do so for you,” you say, voice dripping with sarcasm. “If I wanted to rat you out to the coppers, wouldn’t I have done so already? Hmmmm?”
“Don’t speak to me as if I am a child.”
“I wouldn’t have to, if you aren’t thinking like one,” you say. “Why would I tattle on someone for giving me what I want.”
 Alastor gives you a dry smile. “So much sarcasm to the person who does so.”
You cross your arms and lean against the tree. “I suppose I should be thanking you.”
“Will you?”
“No,” you say. “I don’t thank liars.”
You smile to yourself when Alastor rolls his eyes and furrows his brow. That strained smile of his is an extra bonus.
“If you’re going to kill me, be quick with it,” you say. “I’d like to die with my dignity as a lady.”
“How curious,” he says. “You’re not going to try and run? Fight me off in some clever way? Those are always the best kinds of hunts.”
You roll your eyes, making a point to show him that you are doing so. “That would be a waste of our time, wouldn’t it? And I think you’ll forgive me if I am not exactly keen on giving my murderer the satisfaction of experiencing ‘the best kinds of hunt’.”
Alastor laughs, breathy and light this time. He tosses the knife into the trees and puts his arms up as if surrendering. “It seems you have made me change my mind,” he says. “Not many are able to do so—especially not when I’ve settled on a hunt.”
“What an honor then,” you say, smiling dryly.
“Indeed, it is.” He takes a step forward, and when you don’t run, he walks to you and brushes stray dirt off your shoulders.
“Why change your mind?”
He smiles, inching closer to you.  That is for me to know,” he says. “But, what I will say is I know potential when I see it.”
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“Someone, please, kill me again!” Angel Dust massages his forehead with one arm, using the other to empty the bottle. His third arm reaches into the bar shelves for a new one. You stare at his arms and wonder just how it got to be so long. “You’ve got to be shiting me right now. That’s your example? That’s your final answer?”
You pick at the wooden table, suddenly finding it hard to meet his eyes “Yes…?”
Angel Dust chugs his bottle at your answer. Mimzy avoids direct eye contact, choosing to study her empty glass. Even Sir Pentious keeps his gaze locked to the floor.. You bite on your cheek, letting out a soft huff.
If they didn’t want to know, they should not have asked.
“Out of all the misery he’s caused and will be causing,” Angel Dust says, “you think that Freaky ly’in to you about his reason for walking you home was the best possible example.”
“Yes?”
Angel Dust takes a deep breath. “Let’s be clear, okay? I’ll rephrase what I said, so listen closely,” he says. “Alastor lied about – and let me get this right—he lied to you about why he was in the area, and that’s why – hold on, bear with me – and that is why you were angry.”
You cross your arms, huffing a bit. “You make it sound stupid.”
Mimzy sighs, shaking her head with amusement. “That’s because it is, darling.”
“It is not!” you say, pouting. “It’s a very valid reason to be cross.”
Angel Dust takes another swig of his bottle. “It’s the fact that you weren’t angry that he was going to murder you in cold blood for me.”
You throw your arms into the air. “Okay, so it might not have been the best example,” you say, tapping your legs. “But that isn’t exactly my fault. Alastor is strangely honest.”
Angel Dust gapes at you. “No, he is not!”
“I don’t know, hun,” Mimzy says, leaning against the bar table. “Alastor kina is.”
“You won’t get the truth if you don’t ask,” you say, nodding your head. “And when you do ask, Alastor will either say the full horrifying truth, say it in a way that’s vague but still considered to be true, or dodge and not answer your question.”
Sir Pentious tilts his head, and he keeps a hand on his hat to keep it from falling. “And that is why we should not trust him?”
“There is no we, my dear,” you say. “That’s why you shouldn’t trust him.”
The hotel trembles.
You startle in your seat, gripping the table for stability. Mimzy clutches your arm, and you grab hers. It’s a small reassuring gesture that would make you smile at any other moment. Someone pounds on the door. You snap your head towards the entrance, nearly giving yourself whiplash. The hinges creak with every bang, and you watch with horror as the wooden frame begins to crack. Whatever wants to go in is determined to do so.
“MIMZY! We know you’re in there, you lousy bitch!”
You lock eyes with Mimzy, glaring at her with bristled feathers. “Really?”
“Whooops…?” she says with the most innocent smile. You grab your glass and throw it at her head. Mimzy snarls at you, searching for a stray bottle. She never finds it.
Glass rains down to the floor. Dust fills the space, and you cough when it irritates your throat. The whole hotel is in disarray. With a yelp, you jump away from the bar when one of the bone heads detaches and crushes your seat.
Mimzy scurries behind the bar.
A portal rips open in the middle of the room…Huh, that’s pretty cool. Vaggie steps out, Lucifer and Charlie behind her. “What is going on?”
Mimzy explains what she did. You roll your eyes when she does.
Fireballs shoot out the broken windows.
Motherfucker! You are going to kill Mimzy. You press against the wall to avoid Sir Pentious’ long tail from smacking into you as he slithers about. Angel Dust scurried away at the first sign of trouble. Of-fucking-course this happens today. Niffty scurries about, cleaning every debris in sight, You grab her by the collar, pulling her away from a stray fire. Niffty squirms out of your hold, and hops away. Another fireball keeps you from pursuing her.
“We’re under siege!” Sir Pentious exclaims, slithering about. “Take cover!”
Alastor pops out of your shadow, jerking your arm to pull you away.
You flap your arms to regain your balance.
Alastor keeps a steady hand on your shoulder, his hold on you firm. His touch keeps you grounded. Your eyes flutter to where you pressed against the wall, but Alastor pokes your cheek with the tips of your fingers, nudging your face to keep your eyes on him. The hotel burns in chaos, and you dig your fingers into the fabric of his coat.
Alastor holds your gaze. He smiles at you softly, but you see the hardness in his eyes and the tension is his jaw. 
You try to give him your best smile. “Much better?”
“No, not in the slightest” he says, eyes squinting into a harsh glare. Alastor doesn’t frown, but his teeth bare into a snarl. “Are you hurt?”
The hotel trembles, and more fire crashes through the windows. 
You try to turn to the chaos around you, but Alastor leans to the side, blocking the surroundings with his face. “I’d like an answer.”
He smoothes the feathers on your hair, and you lean into his hold, shaking your head. “Not a single feather out of place,” you say. “Thank you, my deerest.”
The hotel trembles once more, but you keep your gaze locked into Alastor’s.
“All of you get a safe distance,” Vaggie says, spear raised.” I’ll take care of this.”
 Satisfied, Alastor drops his hand from your head and turns to the door. “No, my dear. Leave it to me.” Radio static warps the air around you. His eyes morph into radio dials. “It’s time I remind everyone why I am here.” He has the smile on his face—that same smile that tell you he’s on the hunt. It makes you buzz.
Mimzy pops her head out.  “Ugh, finally!” she says, rolling her eyes. “Took you long enough.”
Tendrils shoot out of Alastor’s back and it waves around the air as if owning a mind of its own. His bones break with audible cracks to adjust to his expanding size. “A reminder to all, not to mess with the radio demon!” His teeth stick out when he smiles, and the little ‘x’ on his forehead appears.
Alastor laughs and begins his kill.
You rush out when your husband crawls out the broken doors, bolting from the bar and out the entrance. You watch Alastor. He grabs a shark with the tips of his fingers and uses the others to pull him apart, slowly, painfully, with a grin.
“Mimzy…” you say, slowly.
Mimzy shrinks next to you. “…Yeah?”
Alastor’s nails elongate and he pierces the shark, letting his blood trail down, reveling in his screams. “I really appreciate everything you do for me.”
A leg sails across the air, it’s bone sticking out. You smile to yourself as Alastor hunts down his prey. Blood paints the flowers red when his tendrils wag like a happy tail.
You’re faintly aware of Lucifer and Charlie arguing behind you.
The show is over too soon.
Alastor shrinks, twirls his microphone and stretches.
Mimzy runs, the first to approach Alastor. You don’t hear a word they’re saying, but Mimzy jabs her fingers into his coat. She leaves with a frown and a middle finger pointed at him.
You walk closer to your husband, a smile on your face. Alastor inches to you, bending close enough for you to reach his bowtie. The fabric is smooth against your fingers as your straighten it for him. “Much better?” you ask.
“Indeed.”
“You put up quite the show,” you tell him. “You looked absolutely riveting, my deer.”
Alastor’s smile widens, and he offers his arm, guiding you back into the hotel. “Did I?”
“You always do, my love.”
And oh…
Another song.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Lucifer leaves, taking his singing with him.
As quietly as possible, you grab your belongings and check that nothing is missing: wallet, flip-phone, bus card, pieces of mint, various essential items, and lastly, your umbrella. You step out of what is left of the Hazbin Hotel’s front doors and stifle a yawn. Today’s excitement has gone on for too long. It was time to go home.
Drops of acid fall from the sky, a light drizzle forming. It was a good idea to stash that umbrella in your bag.
Alastor slithers out of your shadow, and covers your heads with an umbrella. “Did you happen to forget your umbrella?”
You force a sheepish smile on your lips. “I did, actually,” you lie to him. “But a walk seems rather lovely today.”
Alastor twirls the umbrella, his smile widening. “May I join you for your walk?”
“Are you not still working?” You glance behind you, observing the hotel.
Angel Dust sweeps glass off the carpet. He steals glances from time to time, trying his hardest to avoid looking in your direction—he doesn’t try hard enough. Your eyes meet, and you brush your stray feathers from your hair. A not so subtle way of showing off your ring. You stick out your tongue.
Angel Dust laughs, shaking his head with amusement.
Alastor adjusts the umbrella, angling it to block the prying eyes from inside the hotel. He raises his eyebrows, looking at you with a questionable glance.
You offer your most innocent smile. “I think they’re going to need a new door.”
“I think it’s time I clocked out,” he sys, inching the umbrella closer. “I shouldn’t have them getting too dependent on me.”
“Are those not grounds for prime picking?”
“I wouldn’t exactly be a doting husband if I left my wife to walk alone in the rain,” Alastor tells you.
“Doting husband?”
He nods, leaning closer to you. “Yes. Was that not your condition for our marriage?”
Your eyebrows furrow. “Did I say that?”
“You did.”
“Are you sure?” you ask, humming a bit. “I do not remember saying that at all.”
“Well, it wasn’t for you to remember,” he says. “And in any case, I did not call you to the hotel to prepare for some party.”
“Then why did you call me here?”
Alastor meets your eyes and his smile widens. “Allow me to join you, and you shall find out.”
“You’ve piqued my interest, deerest,” you say. “The best walks are usually the ones that are shared. It doesn’t hurt that you have an umbrella.”
“What would you do without me?”
You roll your eyes, and take a step closer. “You always seem to remember for me.”
Alastor fiddles with the umbrella. “What did you do for several years—get pelted by acid?”
“You would know the answer to that had you been present for those years,” you say and you don’t fight the coy smile that forms on your lips.
Alastor hums in displeasure. “Well, in any case, I only have this one umbrella.”
“I guess we’ll have to share.”
“Yes, it seems we will.”
Alastor offers his arm, and you loop your own around his. He doesn’t need to take precautions to ensure your clothes stay dry nor do you have to for his own attire, not when you press closely against each other. The umbrella covers the both of you just right.
You rest your head on his arm. It’s nice. Warm. Even if it was as thick as a stick. His bones press into your cheek. Your eyes flutter into a close… just… one… second…
Your knees buckle causing you to trip.
A frim grab of your waist keeps you from the ground. Your nose crinkles when you collide with Alastor’s chest. Finding strength in your legs, you dig your foot into the ground and stand.
Alastor keeps his hold on your waist steady, and you don’t move from his hold.
“Before you say anything—you are not fine,” he says. “I don’t want to hear anything else but an agreement.”
You peel your face from his chest, meeting his eyes to give him the brightest smile you can muster. It doesn’t come out as you hope. “It seems…It seems it will be my turn to postpone our outing today,” you say. “The excitement of the day seems to be catching up to me.”
You fell asleep while walking,” he says. “If it was not for me, you would be on the pavement.”
“Then it is a good thing I am no longer alone.”
A single tendril emerges from his back. It wraps around the umbrella’s handle, keeping it secured over your heads.
Alastor’s hand shifts from your waist to your back. You feel his other arm snaking down your legs, trailing your skin until he reaches the back of your knees.
Alastor lifts you like a bride.
Well, you actually are a bride…his bride, specifically.
Alastor continues the walk, holding you in his arms. You lean into him, and he places a chin on your head. “Your pointy chin is poking me, my deerest,” you say but you don’t move to push him off. “It’s digging into my scalp.
His chest rise and fall as he laughs, and you feel every bit of it against your cheek. “I could always drop you right over this puddle.”
“That wouldn’t really be part of the doting husband image, would it?” you say chuckling into his suit.
“No, I guess it would not.”
Smiling to yourself, you nuzzle deeper into the crook of his neck. “Hey, Al,” you mumble softly, ��tell me a story.”
At the corner of your eyes, you see Alastor glance at you. His gaze lasts a second before he turns back ahead.  “It was 1929,” he says. “The beginning of the glorious Great Depression.”
You roll your eyes even if he doesn’t see it. “You are the only one I know who calls the Great Depression ‘glorious’. People were starving, and we almost got fired from our jobs.”
“That’s because it was a great year.”
“Because you got to see the sufferings of the masses?” You laugh softly. “That’s definitely something you would do. I can practically hear you laughing at the way they try to claw their way out of misery, only to fail spectacularly.”
“Because we got married that year,” he says. Even if you’re wearing a coat, and Alastor wears his gloves. Even with layers of cloth between your skin, you still feel the way Alastor caress your with his thumb. “Can I continue my story now or would you like to bicker about your failing memory?”
“Continue.”
“So, the start of the glorious Great Depression,” he says. “That day, I saw an ad for the local zoo. I wasn’t doing anything important, so I decided to support my local animals.”
“How kind of you,” you say, stifling a yawn.
“Indeed it was,” he says. “I stalk through the animals. Looking at every malnourished species they kept locked up—”
“You get to the alligator enclosure and to this day, swear that you saw it do a backflip,” you mumble softly, eyes dropping. “That’s pretty good for someone you claim to possess failing memories.”
“Alright then. I shall find another.” Alastor hums as he thinks, and his chest vibrates as he does. “Summer of 1916–long before I met you.”
“You don’t need to tell me that,” you say, huffing. “I’m well aware of the year we met, my deer. So, Summer of 1916?”
“It was a dark and stormy night. Weird for the summer seasons. Usually, the house becomes a furnace, but it was terribly cold,” Alastor tells you. “During that second night of the hurricane, a knock sounds from the door.”
“Oh… I’ve heard this as well.” You pick on the lapels of Alastor’s coat, tracing the white lines.
“You have?” Alastor raises his eyebrows
“Yes, it was your neighbor. His tree fell into the window and you and your mother ended up sheltering him for the night,” you say. “Then, you’ll tell me that he gifted you three pounts of cheese the next week.”
“I guess there’s nothing left to tell.”
You lean back to meet his eyes. They’re no longer brown. Once, a long time ago, you thought it was your favorite color. Now, you don’t think you’ve ever had a favorite color. You just liked his color. “Nonsense,” you says. “We are definitely not that old. I’m sure there should be be at least a few.”
“Alright, this one began fifteen years ago,” he says, tightening his grip on you. “I was waiting outside St. An’s, and a Sinner came out. It was my first time seeing a cow. It was quite a conundrum because — Oh, I think you’ve heard this already. Have you?”
Your eyelids are heavy. “I have.”
“And you choose not to inform me?”
“Can you tell it to me again?” You sink deeper into his hold.
“Of course, my love.”
Alastor’s steps lag until he comes to a full stop. He holds you in his gaze as the acid rain splatters grow stronger. It’s just you and him in this tiny bubble of an umbrella.
His eyes flicker, touching every inch of this scene. You do not know what he is thinking.
“Are you alright, my love?” you find yourself asking.
“Yes,” he says. “I’m just…trying not to waste, that’s all.”
“Come on,” you say in a voice that is oh so soft.
Alastor continues his story. You don’t hear the end of it.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Next Part: | Part 4: The Radio Stars' Co-host Just Wants To Do The Dishes| I am excited to know what you guys think about this chapter. My replies and inbox are always open for any questions. I always get so happy to see my notifications. It's a bit addicting actually. Thank you to everyone who has interacted with this story. Every like, reblog, and reply means so much to me. Part 4 will be poasted as soon as possible
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greensagephase · 1 year
Text
Nonviolent Communication - Part Nine
Miguel O'Hara x SpideyFemReader
Summary: You spend the weekend looking after Miguel after his encounter with the Green Goblin.
Word Count: 22,193 (I saw the word count at 16K on Friday and my face was literally the second photo on this post after I remembered saying in the last update that the remaining chapters wouldn't exceed that part's word count. I'm sorry if this hard to read because of the length, by the way. I thought of splitting it and doing two parts (9A & 9B) but... I'm just going with this.)
Warnings: Mention of dry blood; Mention of wounds; Mention of syringe; Bland hospital food; Miguel is a bit grumpy at times but who can blame him?; This chapter really shows how I'd look after Miguel if he was hurt, my simpness for Miguel jumped out a lot in this one
Music inspo while writing:
"First Date" - Bill Conti
"Near Town" - The Amazing Broken Man
"Feels Like We Only Go Backwards" - Imaginary Future (cover)
"Nonviolent Communication" - Metro Boomin, James Blake, A$AP Rocky, 21 Savage
"Mia & Sebastian's Theme (Celeste)" - Justin Hurwitz
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten |
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Part Nine
Miguel whispers your name, and it takes everything in you to hold back tears as relief washes over you. Your heart races but in a different way than it did hours ago when you were desperately trying to find him. It’s now racing from happiness that he’s awake.
“Miguel,” you whisper with a gentle smile, standing next to him.
Miguel’s eyes flutter close for a few seconds before he opens them again, his gaze meeting yours.
“Calling…” he mumbles. “Me.”
Your eyebrows furrow in confusion but you nod regardless. “It’s okay, Miguel. You’re doing good. You’ll recover soon, I promise,” you tell him gently. “Are you cold?” you ask, as you look down at the blanket you placed on him earlier after he was declared in stable condition again.
You feel a shiver run down your back as you hear the medical professionals’ voices in your head, repeating that they were losing Miguel. You close your eyes tightly for a few seconds and will those thoughts away. You can’t take it. You open them again and look at Miguel.
“Are you cold?” you ask again, pulling the blanket higher up his body.
“Stay…” he mumbles, closing his eyes again.
You stare at him, heart aching. You swallow the knot in your throat.
“I’ll – I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” you whisper, gently fixing the blanket to cover him. “I’ll stay.”
Miguel nods slowly and in a few seconds he’s asleep again. Tears roll down your face for the third time in only a few hours. You softly wipe them away with the back of your suited hand. You take a step back and release another shaky breath, feeling the knot in your throat grow. You turn away from him, pressing your hand to your mouth as you stare at the wall.
Ever since you woke up, you’ve felt every imaginable emotion in the span of a few hours. You feel emotionally tired, but don’t dare rest, especially after what happened. After losing him.
You take a deep breath as tears flow freely down your face, but you find it difficult to do so for a few seconds. It’s as if you’ve been holding back this entire time and you just can’t hold back the tears anymore, causing you to feel like you’re unable to even breathe. And of course, it’s a familiar feeling. One you’ve only ever felt with Peter’s death. You furiously wipe away your tears, but they keep falling, blurring your vision.
You finally turn back to Miguel, still crying. His relaxed sleeping face brings you comfort, helping you breathe normally again. You sigh deeply as you take a closer step and watch over him again, tears still flowing. You feel the urge to touch him, almost as if to make sure he really is there and it’s not just your imagination playing tricks. You tentatively lay a hand over his arm, layers of fabric preventing skin to skin contact but it still brings you comfort and peace.
Miguel is here and alive. His chest rises and falls softly. His heart rate is displayed on the heart monitor. You can hear his soft breathing. And you can feel his body’s warmth, which comforts you, as you remember how cold his skin felt even through your suit when you found him on that rooftop.
Miguel is alive.
You keep repeating this in your head as you stand next to him, your hand still over his arm. It seems to help you calm down and your tears slow down until they eventually cease, leaving your face feeling puffy and damp but you could care less right now. All you care about is that Miguel is alive.
That your friend is alive.
You stand near the bed for a while. You don’t know how much time goes by. The nurses come in and check on Miguel occasionally, finding you near the bed each time like a guardian. All the while, Miguel sleeps peacefully. He shifts ever so gently but he’s not restless anymore. You eventually take a seat on your chair again, feeling exhausted but unable to take even a fifteen-minute nap. You feel as though you must guard every second. Just in case. You do cover your body with a blanket one of the nurses brought you earlier, warming yourself up as the room is cold. You also fix a pillow they gave you to support your back and then you sit there and watch over Miguel.
You don’t even find it in yourself to use the tablet Ben Reilly brought you earlier. It lies abandoned on the table in the family area of the room. You simply sit there, watching over Miguel and occasionally looking towards the windows. The sky is grey and gloomy, but brighter now. The rain is still there, making you wonder if it’ll stick around all day. The pit pat of rain against the windows is heard through the room along with the heart monitor’s quiet beeping but your ears focus on one thing only and that’s Miguel’s even and gentle breathing.
As you listen to it, while gazing at him, your mind reminds you of the fact that for a few minutes, his breathing ceased. You see his unmoving chest in your mind suddenly; his body was completely still. He was gone. And for the second time in your life, you felt so helpless as you stood there, repeating “No” inside your mind. You remember saying his name, calling out to him. You wanted to take hold of him and beg him not to give up. Not now. You thought of his family, and though you fleetingly thought you had no right to, you prayed that if they were out there somewhere, that they’d tell him to come back because… you couldn’t bear the thought of him dying. You couldn’t bear the thought that this man, with so much life still ahead of him, could really be gone just like that. And then it happened. The medical team resuscitated him. His chest began to move, and the heart monitor started to display his heartbeat again. He was alive. He didn’t give up.  
And it felt like you yourself could finally breath again as you thanked his late wife, Gabriel, and sweet Gabriella, for you don’t know what you would’ve done if… you can’t even think about it. What would life be like without Miguel? It’s about to be a year since you joined the Spider Society and so much has changed since then. You never guessed Miguel would be a constant in your life the first time you met him. He was so serious and distant. His mind was far away as he gave you a simple and cold welcome before he walked off, carrying the weight of the multiverse on top of an array of emotions on his shoulders that you could’ve never imagined he was dealing with.
You shake your head softly, almost in disbelief. It’s amazing how much can happen in one year. You went from knowing very little about Miguel to now knowing about his brother and mother, about his short time with Gabriella and his wife, to sharing cake on Peter’s birthday and eating conchas and candy on Dia de los Muertos to designing Christmas ornaments and welcoming the new year at his penthouse.
And it all started that day you felt so unwell due to your period. You find yourself wondering if any of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for that day. And the possibility that none of it would’ve happened makes you thankful for that day, even if you were in pain and discomfort because it led to something you never imagined.
Though you still have no idea how Miguel feels about your interactions, you consider him a close friend. You chat with him and Lyla when you organize the lab. You talk before the meetings start over coffee. You’ve gone on more missions with him than some of the members who joined before you have. You take him lunch sometimes when you head to the lab to organize it, and he happily accepts the empanadas, which you’ve learned are definitely a favorite of his. After the holidays, you’ve made him smile more and even earned yourself low chuckles, both a nonexistent sight and sound for everyone else.
And yet, neither of you have said it yet; that you’re friends. So, it’s up in the air between the two of you for now but you’re okay with it. You know it’ll be a while before Miguel admits it if he thinks of you as a friend, too. And you’ll hold back from saying it for as long as you can for his sake.
You sigh deeply and try to clear your thoughts before you check the time. It’s now past 8 A.M.. When you returned home from Peter and Mary Jane’s universe, you never expected the night to take such a turn. It seems unbelievable.
You went to sleep peacefully, under your warm bed sheets in the same bed you shared with Peter. You were tired and sleepy, and found sleep easily only to be awakened by your spider senses, alerting you something was wrong.
As you stare at Miguel’s face, this simple fact hangs over you. Your spider senses went off because of him despite being in completely different universes. You bring a hand to your temple, wondering how that’s even possible, but you don’t have much time to think about it as the room’s door opens. You turn around and find Jess and Peter. You get up quickly, pushing the blanket off you and turn to face them.
With everything that happened and your emotions a wreck, you never notified them about Miguel’s heart failing but when you look at them, you see it on their faces. There’s pain in their expressions as they scan your face, which shows signs of crying and exhaustion, and their expressions soften.
“Oh Y/N…”  Peter whispers softly, before he quickly approaches, pulling you in for a hug.
You let him hold you in his arms and hug him back. You close your eyes for a few seconds, feeling overwhelmed but reassured at the same time now that they’re here.
“The medical team told us what happened,” Jess begins as she watches Peter and you embrace each other.
Peter lets go gently, though he wraps an arm around your shoulders, making you feel comforted. You give him a sad smile. Peter was the second person you were introduced to when you were first recruited, Miguel being the first one. And once you were accepted, you were introduced to Peter, who immediately presented you to his group of friends and well, the rest is history now. There are times in which it feels like Peter looks over you as some kind of parent because of the age gap. And it’s exactly how he’s looking at you right now after learning what you went through on your own.
“Y/N… I’m so sorry you were here alone,” Jess says gently. “I never thought…”
For once, the second in command of the Spider Society seems at a loss for words. You nod slowly.
“I don’t think any of us expected that… He was in stable condition already,” you answer softly as your eyes return to Miguel. “It just happened out of nowhere…” you add trailing off, briefly taken back to those minutes.
Jess nods and brings a hand to her temple, feeling an ache after the long night. The news of Miguel briefly passing away only added to it, but she feels a sense of relief as she joins you and Peter in watching Miguel sleep peacefully. Miguel is alive. 
You feel Jess’s hand on your forearm, making you turn. She gives you a pained smile.
“I wish someone else would’ve been here with you. I know it must’ve been – hard,” she says solemnly, knowing about Peter’s death and what a toll it’s taken on you in so many ways from leaving you with no family or friends. She feels a pang in her chest for you, for she never imagined you’d see death again today.
You give her a reassuring smile. “I wish so, too, but all that matters now is that Miguel is in stable condition. He’s been sleeping peacefully,” you say as you take a step closer, motioning for them to join you, tugging Peter along with you as his arm is still around your shoulders. “He woke up a little while ago, it was just for a few seconds before he fell asleep again though,” you share but don’t mention that Miguel asked you to stay.
The three of you watch Miguel sleep quietly for a few minutes. It’s a strange sight to see Miguel O’Hara’s face so peaceful and though no one says it, none of you can help but feel heartbroken that it took this to see it.
Jess clears her throat, nodding and feeling relieved that Miguel is well now. All that is left is recovering from his injuries. She stares at him for a few seconds, feeling a little in disbelief now. She’s always warned him about heading out on missions alone at night, but she never thought something like this would happen. She’s just glad that… you found him. That fact comes back to her mind. The last hours have been spent figuring out how to get the system back in order and then directing members to find the anomalies that Miguel was dealing with, but it comes back to her at this moment when things seem to have settled a bit. She wanted to ask earlier when Miguel was first transported but she knew it wasn’t the time to ask.
She turns to you now, seeing that you’re still in your suit. Your hair is a bit of a mess after the search and the rain when you took your mask off to shield Miguel’s face from it, another gesture Jess noticed on top of you giving him your gizmo. Jess decides to put her curiosity aside. For now.
“You should go home. Change clothes or shower,” Jess says, making you turn.
“Thank you but – ” you start, and she raises a hand.
“Please,” your mentor says softly. “Peter and I’ll stay here while you go. Get a bag ready with clothes and toiletries for the next two days or so. Miguel has some recovery to do, and I trust you to do your duties as my third in command,” she continues. “Which includes sticking around with him while Peter and I lead the Spider Society in his place. If there’s one thing I know about Miguel, it’s that he’s stubborn and he’ll try to wave this whole thing over despite what happened. I think we all agree he’ll need to take it easy, and I trust you’ll help me with that.”
You stare at Jess and finally nod. “Yes, okay… I’ll be back shortly then.”
She nods. “We’ll let you know if something changes.”
You reluctantly leave the room but not before you take one last glance at Miguel.
“Stay…” he said earlier, and you promised you would.
You hurry and leave the infirmary sector, wanting to be back as soon as possible. In about twenty minutes, you shower and dress in normal clothes before you prepare a small travel bag with everything you think you might need. As you’re heading back to the infirmary sector, you notice there are a lot of members at HQ today despite it being Saturday and members having the weekends off, unless there’s some kind of emergency. However, the Spider Society’s HQ is buzzing like it’s Monday, and you connect it to what happened.
You’re surprised once again when you enter the infirmary sector. There are now a lot of balloons, flowers, cards, and baskets with snacks in the waiting area. When you approach the items, a nurse informs you that members have been dropping them off for Miguel. You smile softly as you look at everything, deciding that once you check on Miguel and talk to Jess, you’ll take everything to his room.
When you enter the room, you find Jess and Peter murmuring by the windows. Their conversation immediately ceases before they turn around to face you. You notice there’s now a table next to them with food and cups of coffee. You turn back to them. Peter gives you a nervous smile, making you feel like you were the topic of discussion. You ignore it and walk further into the room, gently placing your travel bag on one of the chairs in the family area of the room, your eyes already on Miguel. He's still asleep.
“How is he?” you ask, walking closer to the bed.
“No change. He’s been sleeping the entire time,” Peter says stepping closer to the bed now, leaving Jess by the windows.
“I had someone bring breakfast,” she says. “I think we all need some food.”
“And coffee,” Peter adds with a sigh, making you turn to see him.
You notice for the first time that your friends also look tired. It really has been a long night for everyone. You yourself feel exhausted now. It’s like your shower made every ache in your body known and as you look at the food, you feel hunger, too. 
The three of you take a seat at the table, everyone reaching for a cup of coffee first before anything else. You eat breakfast, stealing glances at Miguel often. It’s like you’re still trying to make sure he’s there and that nothing’s going wrong. Breakfast is silent as the three of you look out the windows, deep in thought.
It's about twenty minutes later that you finish eating. Peter excuses himself to check on Mary Jane and Mayday, stating he’ll be back shortly. He leaves but not before giving you a reassuring smile on his way out, leaving you and Jess alone. The two of you stand by the windows, looking out at the city. You take a glance at Miguel. He hasn’t shifted in his sleep at all, and he looks peaceful.  
Jess stands next to you, arms crossed over her chest, thinking. She doesn’t fail to notice your glances at Miguel, much like those during breakfast. And of course, there’s one pending question on her mind. After a few minutes of silence, she finally speaks up.
“How did you know?” she asks quietly, still staring out the windows.
Your gaze lands on a nearby skyscraper as you hear her question. You know exactly what she’s talking about and even though you wish you could pretend you have no idea what she’s referring to, you know neither of you have the time nor energy to play this game.
After a minute or so of silence, you sigh deeply. “I don’t know,” you answer honestly, causing Jess to look at you slowly.
She watches you as you stare out the windows, and she can tell from your expression and tone of voice that you genuinely have no idea. You sigh again.
“I don’t know how I knew… I was awakened by my spider senses,” you begin and tell her everything that happened up until she joined the search.
Her gaze is on distant cars as she hears you explain everything, occasionally nodding softly. It makes no sense.
“You also knew where to find him,” she says after you’re done. “I would’ve never thought Miguel would be there, considering we knew he was injured,” she adds, thinking about how you seemed certain about his location, not to mention the way you reached the building. It was as if your life itself depended on it.
Your gaze is still fixed on the skyscraper as she brings up this fact. “On the first mission I joined you guys, we went there – to get a layout of the city since it was my first time visiting that universe. It seemed that he liked the view. I guess, amid everything, I thought he would like to see it again,” you quietly murmur.
Jess nods, thinking. Your spider senses alarmed you that something was wrong, and it was Miguel, who was in another universe, in trouble. She knows it’s possible, she just doesn’t know how. She remembers the events from a year ago when Miles ended up stranded in that same universe, and Gwen realized it thanks to her spider senses, too. Now the two are a thing. Of course, Jess isn’t thinking that you and Miguel have a thing going on, but it does signify something to Jess.
You and Miguel have a connection, and it’s strong enough that you were able to sense his trouble even across the multiverse.
“It’s unexplainable but it might have just saved Miguel’s life,” she says eventually after a few seconds of silence, deciding to keep her thoughts about your connection to Miguel to herself. Instead, she changes the conversation to the anomalies Miguel was pursuing. They’ve been caught and sent back to their respective universes. She also notifies you that other members will be taking shifts patrolling your universe while you’re here with Miguel.
Jess sticks around for a little while longer before she heads out to attend to her duties. Once she heads out, you take the time to bring everything left in the waiting room for Miguel into the room, placing it in the family area so that he’ll see it once he wakes up. The hours go by slowly, and you eventually grab the tablet Ben Reilly brought you earlier. You reach out to your friends, who have been asking about you and Miguel’s status. You even reach out to Jess eventually, asking if you can help with anything else but she declines, and so you stay put. You watch over Miguel, fixing his blanket when he moves to make sure he doesn’t get cold.
It's until later in the afternoon that he begins to stir once again. You’re standing by the windows when you notice and quickly cross the short distance between the windows and the bed, standing by his side immediately. Miguel’s eyebrows furrow as he moves his head against the pillows gently. He hums softly as his eyes slowly flutter, and you’re unable to stop yourself from finding him endearing and tender in this moment.
His eyes open at last and he looks around the room slowly, trying to place his surroundings until his gaze lands on you. You offer him a small smile as he blinks a few times at you.
“Hey,” you whisper.
“Y/N…” he says trailing off, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again.
“How do you feel?” you ask, studying his face for any signs of trouble but Miguel looks in good condition.
“I feel a little dizzy,” he responds, blinking again a few times.
“It’s probably the meds. They’ll wear off soon – let me get the doctor, alright?”
Miguel nods before you use the call button. The doctor and a nurse shortly arrive, checking Miguel’s vitals. Everything looks well and as the minutes roll by, Miguel seems more and more awake. The professionals head out after explaining to Miguel what happened, including his heart stopping, and the extent of his injuries.
Miguel lays on the bed silently, staring down at his lap as he thinks about what the doctor told him. You stand a few feet away from the bed, giving him some time to process what they said. You can’t tell what he’s thinking or how he feels as his face is neutral but, on the inside, Miguel feels a little overwhelmed at the news that he was dead for several minutes. The dream he had, which now makes him wonder if it really was a dream after all, is also on his mind. He looks down at his hands, remembering how it felt to hold Gabi. How she forgave him and told him she would always view him as her dad.
Miguel sighs softly, closing his eyes. He can feel what it felt like to hold them again. He can see all their faces and remember their words about moving forward and having a second chance. And as he recalls their words, he also remembers how they kept telling him someone was calling him. He opens his eyes slowly and looks up at you, finding you in the same spot. Ever since the doctor arrived, you’ve been keeping your distance from the bed, as if you’re afraid that you’ll hurt him by being so close. He swallows softly.
“She’s calling you,” Gabi said.
“You know who,” Gabriel said with a small smile. “You know exactly who.”
You.
It’s you.
Miguel clears his throat softly, finding even that action slightly uncomfortable to do right now. He turns his gaze away from you, feeling heat on his face at the realization. Were you really calling him when he was dying – or rather when he died? Was his dream not a dream but – Miguel can’t even think about it now. He can’t wrap his head around it. Is it possible? Miguel has always been a man of science but as he thinks about it, he has no explanation for it.
You notice Miguel turn away, and for some reason it makes you wonder if he doesn’t want you around. You clear your own throat softly, ignoring the feeling of rejection growing in your chest, and put on a neutral face.
“Jess and Peter are taking care of things, which reminds me… They asked me to let them know as soon as you woke up. Do you feel well enough to see them?” you ask softly, fingers on your gizmo ready to send the message.
Miguel’s gaze turns back to you. He hasn’t even thought about the Spider Society until now that you’ve mentioned Jess and Peter. He thinks about it for a few seconds. He’s still thinking about his dream – he’s just going to call it that from now on – and he doesn’t feel ready to be asked questions or get lectured by Jess after her countless warnings about going solo on missions at night. He shakes his head at last.
“In an hour, please,” he says, and you nod, dropping your arms at your sides.
“Of course.” You feel a breeze from the AC turning on again. You nod at him, noticing the blanket on his lap. “Are you cold?”
Miguel continues to hold your gaze, realizing that yes, his arms are cold. He starts to move but you quickly walk to him.
“Remember what the doctor said,” you remind him as you now stand next to him. “She said to avoid too much movement for now until tomorrow, or even Monday. I’ll help you. Do you want me to cover you to your chest?” you ask, picking up the blanket gently.
“Right,” Miguel replies remembering the doctor’s instructions. “Yes, please.”
You nod and take a hold of the blanket, lifting it.
Miguel feels your warmth as you stand near him. It seeps into the side of his body, spreading a pleasant sensation that leaves the rest of his body yearning for it. On top of that, he’s unable to stop himself from inhaling your scent as you lean closer to lift the blanket further up. The moment is brief. You’re there at his side one second and gone the next, suddenly standing three feet away from the bed but your scent lingers, filling his nostrils. He feels the loss of your warmth almost immediately. The remaining warmness fades away and it makes Miguel wish there was another excuse to bring you closer, which fills him with great shame even if it's only human nature to seek such a comfort, especially in his vulnerable state.
Not to mention that everything about you is comforting. It always is. Your voice. Your warmth. Your scent. Your laugh. Your movements. Your mere presence and existence.
“Is that good?” you ask, ready to adjust it to his liking, oblivious to Miguel’s thoughts.
Miguel nods. “Yes, thank you.”
Mierda, he thinks as he shifts his head slightly. A few months ago, on Dia de los Muertos, he wanted you to push his boundaries. He hoped you’d ask him questions about his life, about Gabriella and the rest of his family and now he’s wishing you push his boundaries regarding physical touch. Miguel dismisses it as part of the medications’ aftereffects. It has messed up with his thought process enough that he’s wanting physical touch, surely.
He tries to distract himself by looking out the windows. It’s still raining.
“Has it stopped raining at all?”
You shake your head. “No. It hasn’t stopped at all.”
Miguel nods, still staring and listening to it, trying to get himself distracted until whatever it is he’s on fades and he can be back to his normal senses. It takes him a few seconds to remember you’re still standing nearby, while he’s there, lying in bed. He turns his head, wondering if you’ll be leaving now that he’s awake. He silently hopes you don’t.
“Do you have somewhere to be?” he asks gently, his red eyes meeting yours.
And the way it sounds, well, it tugs at your heartstrings. There’s a softness to his tone that makes you realize your impression from earlier was wrong, and that you jumped to conclusions. Miguel doesn’t want you to leave but there’s also a part of him that isn’t used to this level of vulnerability.
For all the moments and time you’ve spent together over the last year, neither of you’ve been in such a vulnerable state regarding health. Sure, there was that day you were unwell due to your period, but it wasn’t to this level, and it wasn’t him. Additionally, Miguel is already apprehensive about being vulnerable with emotional wounds, so you can only imagine how hard it must be for him to be seen with physical ones. And yet, the way he asks if you have somewhere to be makes it sound like he hopes you’ll stay. You remember how he asked you earlier to do so, while the medications were probably at their peak before he fell asleep. He may not even remember it now, or ever, but you won’t forget it, much like every moment you’ve shared with him. You smile softly.
“I’m where I’m supposed to be,” you answer and then realize how it may sound. You clear your throat, thinking you really should take a nap at some point today. You tell yourself to be more careful with your words right now. You don’t want to upset Miguel or make him uncomfortable when this situation is probably already too much for him. “Jess assigned me to be here. I’m to be – kind of like your bodyguard – until you fully recover,” you tell him, and the bodyguard part makes him smile a little.
“My own bodyguard, eh?” he says, still smiling faintly, feeling relieved that you’ll be around even if he doesn’t voice it. And though he showed no reaction to your comment about being where you’re supposed to be, a warmness spreads in his chest.  
You smile when you notice his small smile, delighted to see it as always, no matter how faint it is. You nod to the family area of the room.
“You have a lot of gifts from members wishing you a speedy recovery. Would you like to see it?”
Miguel turns slightly. He noticed the balloons earlier, but he was feeling too overwhelmed to even wonder about them. Feeling much calmer now, he nods with that faint smile still on his face. You feel happiness rush through you at his response and nod before you walk over to the items. There are about fifteen balloons and even more flowers and cards along with baskets full of snacks. You collect some of the flowers and cards in them before you take them to him.
Miguel can’t help but feel surprised at the number of items left. If he’s being honest, he didn’t expect to receive so much due to his attitude and behavior in the past, especially the events related to Miles.
“I’ll hold the flowers and cards for you to read, that way you don’t move too much, and you can keep your arms under the blanket,” you say now standing next to him.
You place some of the individual cards next to him on the bed before you show him some of the flowers, gently pulling out a card and holding it for him to read. You do this multiple times with the cards from the flowers. Miguel reads them silently, nodding once he’s done. You go through all the flowers and finally start on the individual cards. You notice there are a few handmade ones from members who opted to apply their artistic skills, like Miles, whose card you show Miguel next.
The only thing you see is the front in which Miles took the liberty of drawing Miguel in his suit. You smile fondly at it, admiring Miles’s art as always. You’ve always loved the pieces Miles has shown you and you’re also very happy that he’s decided to pursue art school again. You watch as Miguel reads the card’s message, his eyebrows furrow softly as his eyes move across the card. Up to this point Miguel has nodded and smiled faintly with each card but you notice Miles’s incites this different reaction. He swallows softly and finally nods, turning away to look out the windows in thought.
You can’t help and wonder what Miles wrote, for whatever the message is seems to have struck something in Miguel as he continues to look out the windows. You close it carefully and put it in the stack of read cards, still thinking as you grab another one to show him but he’s still staring out the windows.
“Do you want to take a break? I can show you the rest later.”
Miguel blinks and turns around to face you. He shakes his head gently.
“No, it’s okay. I’d like to see the rest.”
You nod and show him the next one. Miguel’s mood is slightly different now. He smiles faintly here and there, and there’s no doubt in your mind that Miles’s card is still in his mind. You finally reach the last one and you know immediately who it belongs to. You smile as you show it to him. It has Peter and Mary Jane’s handwriting but Mayday’s artistic skills all over the cover. Miguel stares at it and smiles again.
“Mayday,” he says softly before you open it and let him read the message.
He nods once he’s done, that faint smile still on his face as you put it away with the rest. You carefully pick them up to avoid any damage, fixing them into a neat stack again.
“You also have some baskets with snacks,” you say as you now collect the smaller cards from the flowers. “Would you like me to show them to you?”
Miguel shakes his head. “No, it’s alright. There’s no need for you to carry them here. Thank you though – and thank you for showing me the cards and flowers.”
You nod. “Of course, no problem,” you say as you look him over. “Are you warmer now? I have this blanket as well, if you’re still cold,” you say remembering the blanket the nurses gave you earlier.
“I’m much warmer now, thank you. No need for the other blanket.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“If you need something, please tell me, okay? I’m here to help you,” you say after a few seconds.
Miguel takes a few seconds to nod, feeling a mix of emotions. He feels guilty that you’re stuck here having to look after him because Jess asked you but he also feels relieved that you’re here. Still holding the cards in your hand, you decide to move them to the table in the family area.
“You must be tired,” he comments, wondering if you’ve even slept as his eyes follow you.
“I’m not,” you respond gently as you place the cards down on the table.
“If you want to go home and rest, you should,” he says as he looks down.
You sigh softly, knowing where this is going. You turn around to face him, finding him looking down at his body, covered in the blanket you placed over him. He looks up, as if sensing your gaze on him.
“I’m not only here because Jess asked me to,” you start, standing still. You briefly think about how only a few hours ago you were just thinking about how neither of you’ve said what you’re about to admit to him. You didn’t realize you’d be saying it today. “I’m here because I want to – because you’re my friend and this is what friends do,” you continue, keeping your tone as casual as possible as you hold each other’s gazes, though your tone is full of sincerity. “And you don’t have to feel the same way or say anything right now. Just – just know I’m here for you,” you continue softly, repeating the same words you told him for the first time on Dia de los Muertos night, when he apologized for keeping you up and taking you away from chores. You wanted to say more that night, like how you didn’t mind stopping what you were doing to join him because you wanted to spend more time with him. Except you couldn’t say more that night. It was still too soon, and maybe it still is for Miguel but a part of you wants him to know. That you’d be here regardless of Jess asking you because you wish to be here if he allows it. “It’s not an inconvenience to me, if that’s what you’re thinking. So, please – please let me stick around,” you add much quietly as you hold his gaze. Heat rises to your face, and you feel like wincing at your own words because you understand the gravity of them. You’ve never asked anything of him but here you are now, asking him to let you stay with him. To let you look over him, cover his cold body, keep him company as he recovers, and do much more if he lets you help him because all you want is for Miguel to be well again but you also know that this isn’t easy for him and that you’re asking for something that he might not be comfortable with. Your heart races as you wait for his response.
Miguel holds your gaze, noticing the wincing at your own words but he knows you well enough to know it’s not from regret. No, Miguel knows that you’re always so understanding, so respectful of his boundaries, never pushing or asking and that’s what made you wince; that you’re asking for something from him. Your words and reaction sink in. And Miguel wishes he could reciprocate your words about considering him a friend out loud, but he cannot, not yet even though you are his friend. He can’t risk it, so he nods softly.
“I’d appreciate it – if you did. Thank you,” he replies with sincerity at last, with a small smile.
You smile back, once again happy to see him smile. You don’t mind that he doesn’t say more because with the smile and tone he used, you feel certain he feels the same way even if he can’t voice it right now. You know Miguel has a long way to go in fully letting go. Maybe one day in the future, you think, but for now, him letting you stay while he recovers, is more than enough.
“After you meet with Jess and Peter, would you like to eat?” you ask as you walk to the chair. “You must be hungry. I believe you’re clear to eat now.”
As if on cue, Miguel’s stomach growls and he looks at you with an embarrassed look. For once, it’s his stomach and not yours. You try not to smile and clear your throat quietly.
“I’ll ask the nurse if you can eat while you talk with Jess and Peter, alright?”
He nods, meeting your eyes. “That sounds good, thank you.”
You reach out to Jess and Peter once Miguel tells you he’s ready. You wait for them to arrive before you head out quickly to confirm with the nurse that he can eat now and thankfully he’s cleared. You head back to the room once they tell you they’ll take him food, walking in just as you hear Peter ask how everything happened and so, the three of you listen intently to Miguel as he explains. You can’t help but feel fury as he mentions the Green Goblin twisting his trident into Miguel just before the explosion went off, on top of the fact that he targeted the gizmo once he figured out it was important. You sigh quietly, wishing he hadn’t gone on his own. The conversation shifts to Jess, who briefs Miguel about several things like the system failure and how it’s working again thanks to the work of Margo and other members. He sits on the bed and nods.
“I’ll be thanking them personally but for now – please give them my gratitude,” he says softly. “Everyone – has really stepped up, including the three of you. Thank you,” Miguel adds looking at all of you. “I appreciate it.”
Jess nods and offers Miguel a smile. Peter grins at him.
“Any time, pal. That’s what we’re here for, right? We stick up for each other,” Peter says and Jess nods.
“Peter’s right. We stick up for each other and we’ll make sure everything runs smoothly until you’re fully recovered,” Jess says. “All you need to worry about right now is recovering.”
Peter steps closer to you and quietly mutters, “You heard that, right? Jess agreed with me for once.”
You stifle a chuckle and gently elbow him to be quiet.
“What are you going on about, Peter?” Jess asks with a frown.
“Nothing at all. Just telling my friend that the rest of our friend group has been wondering about her, that’s all,” Peter replies raising his hands in defense and discreetly elbowing you to back him up now.
You nod but say nothing, making Jess shake her head. “Alright you two, if you say so. Well – there’s much we need to do. The system failure messed up some files. Lyla and I are organizing it, so I’ll return to that now. Please listen to the doctor’s instructions, Miguel,” Jess says sternly, and Miguel raises an eyebrow briefly but nods.
“And Y/N’s instructions, too,” Peter adds with a grin. “She’s like your – personal bodyguard.”
You subtly elbow Peter again and he gives you a puzzled look.
“Anyway, we’ll keep you updated. Rest and take the time to recover properly. If you need anything let Y/N know. We all want you to recover and be back on your feet,” Jess says.
Peter and you nod at that, thinking about what you would give to avoid this situation completely.
“Thank you. I’ll do that… Do keep me updated on what’s going on. There are meetings scheduled for this week and the weekly reports are not done yet - ” Miguel starts but Jess stops him, raising a hand.
“We’re taking care of everything. You worry about recovering.”
Miguel frowns but Jess doesn’t back down. “Fine but I want to be updated on what’s happening though.”
Jess nods, satisfied with his answer. “Will do, boss.”
With that Jess and Peter say their goodbyes, promising to return at some point again today to check in. Miguel and you watch them leave even though you want to ask Jess something, but you decide to send her a message later instead. You want to ask her if you can help with the reports as it’s something you can probably work on while Miguel rests, but you figure you should keep quiet about it, or Miguel might try and help you and the last thing any of you want is for him to work while he’s recovering. The two of you say goodbye to them before you turn around to face him.
Miguel still has a slight frown on his face. The commander of the Spider Society is not used to being told what to do. You try not to smile at this.
“One of the nurses said you’re clear to eat. They’ll be bringing in food any time now,” you inform him as you step closer to your chair, picking up your blanket to fold it just as
Miguel groans softly. “What’s wrong?” you ask, putting the blanket down immediately.
“Hospital food.”
You chuckle. “I bet it’s not bad like the typical hospital food.”
“Hospital food is still hospital food.”
“I bet it’s better than my universe’s hospital food.”
Miguel raises an eyebrow at this, looking amused. “Perhaps but it’s still hospital food.”
You grin just as there’s a knock. A nurse comes in with a tray of food, immediately setting it up for him. The nurse asks Miguel if he needs assistance with eating and surprisingly, or perhaps not too surprisingly, he looks at you, not wanting to be fed by a stranger.
“Thank you but I’ll be helping him,” you inform them, and they nod.
Miguel thanks them before they leave the room, leaving the two of you alone again. He frowns as he looks down at the closed containers and you can’t help but find this amusing. You head to the bathroom to wash your hands before you return to his side. You grab a napkin and open it.
“I’m going to put this on your chest just in case something falls,” you tell him, and he nods but he doesn’t look enthusiastic about eating as you place the napkin on him. “Come on, you don’t even know what they brought yet.”
“I can smell it, and it doesn’t smell too good.”
You shake your head softly as you open the containers, putting the lids to the side as you reveal each food item. You stare at the main food. There’s steamed vegetables, chicken, and rice but it all looks a little… bland.
“Hmm.”
“I told you,” Miguel says grumpily.
You don’t say anything and instead pick up a small tub of gelatin that appears to be strawberry flavored. It looks like the most appetizing thing in the whole tray along with the two drinks they provided, apple juice and water.
“You don’t want to give this a try at all?” you ask softly, motioning to the food.
Miguel sighs, frowning. “I guess I have to.”
You grab the cutlery and offer him a steamed carrot slice. Miguel hesitantly opens his mouth, keeping his gaze on the tray, embarrassed. He can’t believe he’s being fed like a child as he softly bites down on the carrot. He chews, trying not to make a face.
“Not that bad, right?” you ask, and he looks up at you.
“Why don’t you try it, and you tell me?” he says grumpily, almost pouting.
You meet his eyes and hold back from laughing. You clear your throat, ready to ask him if he wants to try the rice or chicken now.
“No, I’m being serious. Try it.”
You sigh. “Why don’t you try the rice or the chicken now? We can drop the veggies then.”
Miguel sighs now. “If even the vegetables aren’t good, I have little hope for the rice and chicken… I’m not joking. That carrot wasn’t good.”
“It can’t be that bad. It’s just a steamed carrot.”
“Try it then.”
You continue to meet his gaze and he motions with his head for you to go on. You scoff softly and pick up a carrot with the fork before you slide it off to avoid eating from the same fork. You bring it to your mouth and frown as the scent hits your nose.
“Even the scent is off putting, right?” Miguel asks.
You nod before you chew and wow, Miguel is right. You grab a napkin and spit it out quietly.
“I don’t know how you ate that,” you say quietly. “You want some water to wash down the taste?” you offer, and Miguel nods trying not to chuckle at your response.
You grab the water bottle and notice straws were provided so you open one and slide it into the water bottle once you open it, too. You bring it to Miguel’s mouth, lining up the straw to his mouth so he can easily access it. He drinks for a few seconds before he releases the straw.
“I didn’t realize I was so thirsty” he says before he drinks more. You hold the bottle steady and watch as he nearly finishes it.
“I can get you another one. It’s been many hours since you drank something,” you mutter quietly. You look at the food. He hasn’t eaten anything in hours either and this food is unappetizing. You look at the gelatin. That’s the only appealing food item on the tray but his appetite won’t be satisfied with that alone.
Miguel leans back, releasing the straw again. The water bottle is empty now and he sighs in relief.
“Thank you.”
You nod and put the bottle away, thinking. “Would you be okay if I step out for – five or ten minutes?” you ask.
Miguel raises his eyebrow softly. “Is something wrong?” he asks just as his eyes flicker to your gizmo.
“Nothing wrong, don’t worry. I was just thinking – I can go to the cafeteria and grab you something from there instead. I can bring you empanadas if I can find some?” you suggest and you’re immediately happy you suggested this.
Miguel’s face changes. His eyes lit up and he nods immediately but then he frowns.
“The cafeteria staff showed up today? They have weekends off. They should’ve enjoyed their day off… And it’s not allowed to bring cafeteria food into the infirmary,” he says, and you scoff in amusement.
“They came in because a lot of members showed up to help. And I won’t get caught. Besides, what’s the worst thing the infirmary team can do? Tell the boss on me?” you ask as you start closing the containers.
Miguel watches you as you do this, with a small grin.
“If anything, I think he’d agree that this food is – a crime,” you say and Miguel chuckles before he groans.
“Mierda, that hurt,” he says closing his eyes in pain and you see his hands move under the blanket to his stomach.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you chuckle,” you say as you move the food tray away from him.
“It’s alright,” Miguel mutters with a sigh, opening his eyes again. “It’s fading away now. That son of a – he really got me with the trident.”
“I’m so sorry, is the pain subsiding now?” you ask worried, and he nods.
“It’s fading now, don’t worry,” he says softly, and you nod.
“I’ll go get you food once your pain subsides completely,” you reply, wanting to make sure you’re in the room until he’s completely okay.
After five minutes, Miguel nods. “I’m alright. The pain is gone,” he reassures you.
You sigh softly and nod. “Okay, I’ll be right back. I won’t take long, okay?”
Miguel nods and with one last look, you head out. You walk to the cafeteria quickly, noticing more gifts left for Miguel but you don’t pause to look. Once at the cafeteria, you put together some food boxes, making sure to secure Miguel’s empanadas first before anything else. You fix yourself a box so you can eat since you haven’t had anything after breakfast. Jess offered to take you something for lunch, but you weren’t hungry, so you declined but you realize you’re hungry now. You end up using your webs to secure the boxes together as you remember Miguel saying that it isn’t allowed to bring outside food into the infirmary. You also grab a few water bottles and cutlery, tying everything with more web and swinging the items over your shoulder. You’re about to head back, thinking how you’ll have to sneak into the infirmary sector with the food when you see the coffee station. You decide to grab some as well and when you reach the station you’re met with a lovely surprise.
There’s always only one coffee cup size but today there’s two. It’s double the size, or maybe even larger, than the regular cup. You can’t help yourself and end up ordering two of those. You haven’t slept in a while and you probably shouldn’t have this much caffeine, but you want to stay awake until nighttime as you suspect Miguel might not sleep until then. You pick up the cups and head back, having to sneak past the nurses’ office by sticking to the walls. Thankfully the coffee cups weren’t a problem.
You enter the room at last and find Miguel, still in bed of course, but the TV is now on. As you walk closer, you notice the containers are gone. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion just as Miguel turns around. 
“Peter and Jess came by. Peter took the food with him,” Miguel explains, noticing your confusion.
“I hope he hid them as he walked by,” you say as you set the boxes with food and coffee cups on the tray. “Anyway, I got you empanadas and some sides, along with fruit. I also got coffee. There are new cups,” you announce and motion to the cups, larger than the usual ones.
“You managed to get two?” Miguel asks, his tone full of surprise.
“Yes, why?”
Miguel scoffs softly. “I can never get my hands on these even though they’re meant for me.”
“This is the first time I’ve ever seen them.”
“Everyone opts to get these instead of the other ones. I have these bought because…” Miguel trails off, meeting your eyes. “Not only do I like coffee, but I also need more caffeine to actually feel the effect. The regular size cups aren’t enough sometimes, but I can never find these when I show up,” he says with a slight frown.
You frown. “Oh - I never realized you might need more caffeine, but it makes sense now that you say it,” you reply as you look at him, realizing that Miguel is a tall man and very built, so of course he’d need more than someone within the average height and weight.
 “All this time I should’ve been taking you two cups instead of one then,” you say, and Miguel shakes his head softly.
“Don’t worry about it. It does help me,” he reassures you.
“I’ll see if I can find these for you from now on,” you answer as you fix the napkin on his chest before you tell him you’re going to wash your hands again. When you return to his side, you open the boxes of food you brought specifically for him, showing him the empanadas and everything else before you get the cutlery ready. However, when you look at the empanadas, you realize this is a food that’s usually eaten by hand not with cutlery. You look up at Miguel, feeling silly to ask but you do regardless.
“Do you want me to cut these up for you or…?” you ask.
Miguel looks down at the empanadas.
“I can wrap the end in a napkin and hold it for you?” you offer and Miguel nods slowly. “Okay, I’ll do that then.”
You feel a little nervous. It’s not like you’ve never fed someone in the mouth before with your hand. It’s just that you’ve only ever done this with Peter… or used to. As you carefully pick up the empanada with a napkin and wrap it, you recall those days with Peter. He always liked to share his food with you, wanting you to try what he was having, and this always resulted in getting fed bits and pieces from him. You always reciprocated and found this to be an intimate act as you never did it with anyone else but here you are, lifting an empanada to Miguel’s mouth, who still looks embarrassed by this. You clear your throat softly, trying to dissipate the nervousness between the two of you over this simple and yet intimate act.
“They don’t feel burning hot so I think they should be at a good temperature to eat without burning your mouth,” you say, and he nods.
You watch as he reluctantly opens his mouth and takes a bite. His face quickly displays a pleased look and you’re unable to stop yourself from grinning at the different reaction from earlier.
“Not too hot?” you ask.
Miguel finishes eating, smiling faintly. “No, it’s perfect temperature. Thank you.”
You nod and bring the empanada closer to his mouth again. “If you want a drink, let me know. Or if you want to try the other food. It smells and looks good.”
As Miguel chews you notice a bit of a smirk on his face at your comment. You smile a bit before you look away and pick up one of the coffee cups, bringing it to your lips with your free hand. It seems that the nervousness between the two of you is subsiding now. You look up at the TV, an action movie is on. You turn back to Miguel and offer the empanada again. Each time, you’re careful no mess is left behind as you don’t want him to get food on himself but eventually you notice a bit of food in the corner of his mouth, so you put the second empanada down and pick a clean napkin. You motion to his mouth.
“You have a bit – in the corner of your mouth, here,” you say before you gently wipe his mouth.
Miguel’s eyes are on the food tray, and you don’t fail to notice a slight tint to his cheeks. You keep a neutral face as you clean him, despite wanting to smile as you find the action endearing but for his sake, you say nothing once you’re done.
“So, what exactly is this movie about?” you ask instead, deciding that maybe this’ll help calm him. You can only imagine how this is making Miguel feel, someone who isn’t used to such vulnerability even with you.
“To be honest, I don’t know. Peter turned the TV on, and it was already playing. I’ve never heard of it but then again… I haven’t kept up with movies in a long time,” Miguel admits before he takes another bite of the empanada as you offered it again.
You nod. “I understand, I haven’t either.”
Miguel nods as he eats, for some reason remembering that on Peter’s birthday you claimed you’d be going to the movies with friends from your universe. Except that was just a lie to hide your true plans and there weren’t friends involved either way. He remembers waking up the next day and thinking about how no one showed up. You planned to spend the evening alone and he couldn’t help but wonder. Sure, Jess briefed him on you before she brought you to HQ. She mentioned that you were completely on your own, with no family or friends but he thought there had to be someone, even if they weren’t too close to you but Jess had been right. No one called or arrived on Peter’s birthday. You were really alone in your universe, and he couldn’t understand why. He had wondered, did they abandon you when you needed someone the most or did you cut ties on your own? He just couldn’t and still can’t wrap his head around the fact that you spent three years completely on your own. He can’t help but feel that you deserved better. He can’t help but wish that he had found your universe sooner, so you could’ve had the Spider Society as a support system earlier.
And maybe, just maybe you could’ve been a part of his life sooner, too. Miguel clears his throat as this thought comes to his mind.
“May I please have some water?”
You nod and place the remainder of the second empanada down before you open the water bottle, slipping a straw into it before you bring it to his lips. You can’t help but notice the difference on his face as he drinks. His face is still missing its full natural color, but he has thankfully gained some of it.  
Miguel eats all the empanadas and sides, along with the fruit. He also drinks two water bottles and asks for some coffee. When you notice that he seems to be rushing so you can start eating soon, you tell him not to worry, and to take his time. He slightly frowns but nods after you talk to him, his mind still whirling with thoughts. When he’s done, you eat as the two of you continue to watch the movie, not really understanding what’s going on but it has caught both of your attention regardless. At some point you remember you have the tablet Ben Reilly brought you many hours ago, so you grab it and look up the movie.
“This is actually the third installment.”
Miguel turns to you. “That explains a lot.”
You chuckle after you take a sip of your coffee, done eating. “It does.”
You resume watching the movie. It’s about five o’clock in the afternoon. The slow and peaceful rain is still going. The room has a somewhat comforting energy about it with the few lights on as Miguel and you watch the movie. His eyes flicker to you though his glances go unnoticed by you, as your eyes are on the TV. He has an idea suddenly and when he’s about to speak, he remembers he doesn’t have a gizmo. That prompts him to remember that you gave him yours when you… found him. He clears his throat as the memories come to him quickly.
He was out of it, his body felt weak and cold when he heard your voice. It sounded so far away until it became clear. He felt your touch when you cupped his face in your small hand. He remembers saying that you were there, and you thought he referred to everyone. In reality, he referred to you alone, for you were the last person he thought about before he felt his consciousness slip for the first time. Even in his state, he felt like he had somehow called for you across the multiverse because you were there suddenly, kneeled by his side, telling him that he would go home. Then, you slipped your gizmo into his wrist, not caring if you glitched and he wanted to tell you so badly to take it back because he now knew what it was like, and he didn’t want you to experience it, too. He didn’t get the chance to warn you though and you didn’t care. You didn’t care that you would glitch just to protect him from glitching again.
And Miguel’s chest fills with a heavy feeling now. His eyes soften as he looks at you, still watching TV, engrossed in this movie that neither of you understand. He smiles softly at you, his friend, even if he can’t say it out loud. Yet.
“I think we should watch the other movies,” Miguel says breaking the silence, and making you turn to face him with a raised eyebrow.
“The other movies?”
“We have nothing else to do… Why not?” he asks quietly.
You nod, smiling. You haven’t messaged Jess about potentially helping with the reports but you decide to leave it like that for now. You decide to take the opportunity to distract Miguel with the movies, seeing as he’s showing interest in them instead of trying to jump right back into work. Your reaction makes Miguel nod and so he executes the idea he had a few minutes ago. He calls for Lyla.
“Miguel! It’s so good to see you – you look – better,” Lyla says enthusiastically.
“Thanks, Lyla. I need you to do something for me,” Miguel says.
“You’re not allowed to work right now. Y/N, tell him he’s not allowed to work right now. He’ll listen to you.”
Miguel frowns and you watch in amusement. “I know. It’s something else.”
“Oh, then what is it?” Lyla asks with a raised eyebrow, intrigued.
Miguel asks her to buy all the movies available before he asks her to stream the first one on the TV.
“Hmm, this was the last thing I thought you’d ask me to do,” Lyla says with her arms crossed over her chest as Miguel and you start watching the first movie, looking puzzled. “Alright, you two, enjoy the movies! And Miguel, don’t push yourself. Take proper time to heal. It’s the order – from everyone,” Lyla says softly, looking at him with worried eyes.
Miguel faces her, knowing that this is the first time something like this has happened to him and despite being an AI and her attitude, he can tell she was worried. He nods at her. “I’ll be back soon. Make sure you do your job without driving the members crazy.”
She gives Miguel a grin. “It’s part of my personality, can’t help it but I’ll do my job, boss. I might pop by later when the other members are gone. Enjoy the movies!”
She gives him a peace sign and says her goodbye to the two of you before she disappears. The two of you watch the movies for the rest of the afternoon, pausing when the medical team comes in to check on Miguel, and yes, you hid the food boxes amongst Miguel’s flowers and balloons, masking the scent by bringing some flowers to the nightstand next to the bed so they wouldn’t find out until you got rid of the evidence.
A little after ten o’clock, Miguel yawns softly just as the second movie ends. You stand up and stretch, before walking over to him.
“How are you doing? Do you want a drink or maybe use the restroom before bed?” you ask, wanting to make sure he’s comfortable.
Miguel sighs softly, moving a bit. “I really wish I could get up and stretch,” he says. “I’d also like to brush my teeth.”
You nod, thinking. “I can solve the teeth situation but – I’m not sure I can help you get up without hurting you. Let me call the nurses, okay?”
“Let’s try it. Just – you and me. Please,” he says gently, and you can’t refuse with that soft tone of his, so you nod.
“Alright… but slowly. I don’t want to hurt you. Let me get the toothbrush and toothpaste first though,” you say as you go to your small traveling bag. In your hurry to return fast, you opted to throw a new pack of toothbrushes you had and your toothpaste when you were packing. Now you’re glad because you can give one to Miguel. You quickly take both items to the bathroom before you return to him.
The two of you work together to get him to stand up, and you succeed after what feels like fifteen minutes because you wanted to avoid hurting him. At last, however, he holds on to you with his arm wrapped around your waist at your request when you noticed his balance is a little off. Your own arm is around his waist, careful to avoid touching any of his stomach area. You remain like that for a few minutes, letting Miguel get used to being on his feet again. You ask him if he’s okay or if he needs to sit down again but he declines, telling you to give him a few more seconds. Eventually he nods.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
You silently hope this all goes well as you help him take a few steps. Thankfully the action doesn’t hurt Miguel nearly as much as you thought it would since neither of you are rushing. The two of you walk a bit in the area between the bed and the family area, with Miguel taking short steps. You wish you thought of bringing him slippers as you look down at his feet, noticing that he’s wearing standard hospital socks, but you decide you’ll ask for another pair so you can change them out once he’s back in bed. You also decide tomorrow you or someone else will need to go to his apartment to collect some items as he’ll still be here tomorrow.
At last, Miguel stands in front of the sink. He sees himself in the mirror and his reflection makes him pause. He’s never looked this bad and then he remembers, once again, that he died. The possibility that he wouldn’t even be staring at himself right now hits Miguel suddenly. He clears his thoughts and turns his head to you.
“You ready?” you ask softly, looking up at him.
“Yes. I think I can do it on my own,” he replies, and you nod hesitantly before giving him the toothbrush with some toothpaste on it.
He starts lifting his arm, but the movement makes him wince.
“I can help you,” you say quietly and after a few seconds Miguel sighs.
“You already fed me and now you’re going to brush my teeth,” he says but he doesn’t sound angry, he’s just embarrassed.
“And I’ll do more than that if necessary. If you allow me. I just – don’t want you to get hurt,” you say softly. “I know… This can feel embarrassing,” you continue as you take the toothbrush from his hand, guiding his arm down gently to avoid any more discomfort.
At your height, you can’t reach his mouth, so you climb up the counter, resting on your heels, facing him. You grab a towel from a stack and put it over his chest, tucking it gently into the hospital gown’s neckline to avoid getting it dirty. You lean closer and motion for him to open his mouth. He sighs and then follows your order. You start brushing his teeth gently, focusing on the task as you continue to talk.
“I know it can feel embarrassing. I used to feel like that when I got hurt and went home to Peter,” you start. “He took care of my wounds. Helped me shower and dress. Got me in bed and still had the energy to hold me,” you say quietly, your tone full of fondness as you remember Peter once again. “I felt embarrassed even with my partner so I can imagine what this must feel like when I’m just, you know,” you say as you continue to brush his teeth, carefully. All the while, Miguel’s eyes take in the sight of you this close, listening to your quiet voice as you lean closer, even ducking your head to get a good view of his mouth. He blinks when he hears your last words, knowing what you’re saying. That it’s normal for him to feel embarrassed when it’s you, his friend, doing this for him. “But I hope – you allow me to continue to help you so you can recover faster. I don’t like seeing you like this,” you say with a frown, which he notices, as you finish brushing one side of his mouth. You wipe the corner of his mouth softly with the towel. “So, please… if you need help with something, don’t hesitate to ask because of embarrassment. I’m here to help you,” you say as you start brushing the other side of his mouth.
He nods softly after a few seconds while you finish brushing his teeth. At last, you’re done, and you smile at him, drying his mouth from the water.
“Done,” you say as you rinse the toothbrush before you place it on a toothbrush holder for tomorrow. “Anything else you’d like to do before you get back in bed?”
Miguel meets your eyes, thinking about what he’s about to ask.
“Do you mind – passing a towel over my face?” Miguel asks. “My face feels weird.”
You nod, remembering. “I have these reusable cotton face pads. They’re much softer on the skin than a towel. Let me get them real quick,” you say and with that you slide off the counter and exit the bathroom. Miguel stands there, surprised at your offer but he doesn’t have much time to think anything else because you enter the bathroom again holding some round cotton pads. He watches as you climb up the counter again before you open the hot water and pass the pads under it. You squeeze the excess and turn to him at last. “Alright, you ready?”
Miguel nods again. “Yes, thank you.”
You nod, realizing some of his hair is over his forehead. You feel a bit nervous as you think about what you’re about to ask him. “Do you mind if I hold your hair up?”
“Go ahead,” Miguel answers softly, answering almost immediately, which surprises you a bit.
He doesn’t seem to mind, so you nod and carefully reach for his hair. You lift it lightly before you glide the lukewarm cotton pad over his forehead with a tenderness that makes Miguel hold his breath for a few seconds. You wipe his forehead, then his eyebrows. Your movements remain tender, making Miguel feel like he’s some delicate glass object that’s worthy of your gentleness as you glide the pad down the bridge to the tip and sides of his nose. You change pads and ask him to close his eyes before you glide it over his eyelids, moving to the rest of the eye area.
Your face remains neutral as you clean his face though your eyes take in every detail. From the flecks in his red eyes to his eyebrows to the lines on his forehead and under eyes. And when you reach the bottom half of his face your eyes trace his cheeks, jawline, chin, and finally his lips, wiping them softly to make sure you remove any toothpaste excess.
The entire process makes Miguel’s face feel warm, not because of the warmness of the pads but because of the closeness of this moment. No one has ever done this to him. And yet, you seem so unbothered by it. Like this is normal. You grab another pad, damping it with warm water again and repeating the process much faster this time. You let go of his hair and move back.
“Done,” you say softly as you put down the pads on the counter, telling yourself you’ll pick them up later to take home and wash. Miguel watches your movement and for the first time, he notices it. There are light scratches on your hand, and he instantly knows they came from his talons. “Are you ready to head back? Or do you need to use the bathroom?” you ask Miguel, not noticing.
“Your hand,” Miguel says still looking at it. “I scratched you?” he asks, meeting your eyes, sounding extremely bothered by this.
You look down in surprise, remembering that he scratched you a bit when you were trying to calm him down as he grew restless. It was hard not to forget about them, as shortly after that his heart gave out.
“Oh, yes but don’t worry about it. It didn’t hurt that much. I honestly forgot about them,” you admit, making Miguel frown.
“I’m really sorry. I don’t remember – when I did that. Not only must I’ve hurt you but probably ripped your suit in the process as well,” Miguel says, sounding regretful.
You shake your head. “It hardly hurt, really. I even forgot I had these,” you say nodding to the scratches. “And about the suit, I didn’t notice any rips on it this morning and even if there are, I’m sure I can fix it. Don’t worry about it, okay?”
“I can have it fixed for you here. Or you can have a new one,” Miguel offers. “Same design, maybe with some updates if you’d like… But you should get the scratches checked just in case. I’m really sorry that I did this to you,” Miguel says quietly, and he truly does feel bad. He doesn’t even remember doing it.
You smile gently at him and nod. “If it comes to that, sure but we can worry about that later. And don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt. They were very light scratches, nothing to worry about. I promise,” you reassure him. “So, ready to head back?”
Miguel is upset with himself over scratching you, but he sees that you want to drop it, so he lets it go, too. For now. He’ll make sure you have a new suit because he’s certain he ripped yours. There’s no way he didn’t and even though he doesn’t know the exact reason, he knows you’re very attached to your suit. He sighs silently and answers your question at last.
“I need to use the bathroom, but I got it, thank you,” he says gently, thinking the last thing either of you need is for you to help him use the bathroom, too.
“Of course, I’ll be outside if you need me. Please take your time so you don’t hurt yourself, okay?”
He nods, grateful to you for everything but still feeling bad about scratching you, before you head out of the bathroom, closing the door after you.
You check your gizmo to distract yourself, noticing several messages from your friends asking about Miguel and his status, and if either of you need anything so they can drop it off. You smile fondly as you read the thread of messages before responding quickly to them, letting them know that Miguel has been doing well and that you’ll let them know if either of you need anything. You finish sending the last message just as you hear the toilet flush and then the water running. Miguel comes out about a minute later. He seems to be able to walk a lot better on his own now but he’s still moving slow to prevent any pain.
You offer to help him and this time he puts his arm around your shoulders, leaning just a bit on you. You successfully get him back in bed, finding the process much easier than getting him out of it. You tell him about changing his socks since he walked on the infirmary floor, but he says he’s fine without them, so you just remove them for him before you cover him again for the night. You bring the blanket close to his chest and fix his pillow to his preference. At last, he lays on the bed feeling much better.
“Thank you for everything,” Miguel says as he watches you fix your chair to sleep, wishing you’d go home so you can properly rest or for there to be something far more comfortable than the fold out chair, but he can already hear you turning down his suggestions.
You fix your pillow before you turn around to face him, giving him a small smile. “Always,” you say softly. “I’m going to use the bathroom. Just call me if you need anything, okay?”
He nods and watches as you pick up your travel bag before you head into the bathroom, closing the door quietly after yourself. Miguel turns away and looks up at the ceiling, remembering. Last night around this time he was in the lab, feeling restless but still working, not even imagining what was going to happen in a matter of hours. He sighs softly now, repositioning his head to get comfortable. He feels tired and he knows he'll fall asleep soon, but he wants to make sure you’re comfortable, too, or at least as much as possible.
You come out of the bathroom a few minutes later, wearing different clothes but not pajamas, though they look far more comfortable than what you were wearing earlier.
“The AC turns on a lot during the night. Do you want me to lift the blanket higher up, so you don’t get cold?”
Miguel meets your eyes and answers yes, his mind now shifting to how caring you’ve been all day, even sneaking food for him. He has a lot to thank you for, and he feels as though nothing he says or offers to you will ever be able to fully express his gratitude. You fix the blanket and even tuck it in a bit for him before you step back, giving him space.
“Is that comfortable?” you ask, and Miguel nods.
“It is. Thank you.”
You nod, smiling at him softly before you turn around and take a seat on the chair, covering your lower body with a blanket.
“You’re not sleeping yet?” he asks, noticing that you haven’t folded out the chair.
“I’m not sleepy yet.”
And you really don’t, probably due to the large cup of coffee you drank but you know at some point during the night you will as it’s close to twenty-four hours since you slept. Miguel nods though he frowns.
“Try to rest,” he says quietly.
“I will. Don’t worry about me. Rest,” you answer as you pull the blanket higher up your body, thinking.
Miguel nods again, closing his eyes, unable to fight sleep anymore. He ends up falling asleep about fifteen minutes later, his soft and even breathing filling your ears as you sit on the fold out chair. You watch his sleeping figure, the sight providing you calmness as you think about the day. Miguel woke up, talked, ate, and even chuckled at your comment about the infirmary food being a crime. You smile softly, staring at him. He’s okay. He just has to recover and soon he’ll be back in his lab, working like normal, a sight you never thought you’d wish for until now.
You stay awake for an hour more, watching over Miguel, before sleep consumes you.
Miguel wakes up about two hours later. He opens his eyes and looks around, his gaze stopping on you as he takes your sleeping figure. He blinks a few times, still staring at you. Somehow you manage to make sleeping on the fold out chair look comfortable. The blanket is up to your chest, and you hold the pillow vertically to your body, with your head resting on it and your arms wrapped around it. It looks as if you were laying on someone’s chest while hugging them. And Miguel can’t keep his eyes off you as your soft breathing fills his ears, feeling glad that you’re sleeping at last because he doesn’t know how long you’ve been awake for.
He tries to sleep again but it seems that sleep has deserted him and instead he finds himself thinking about everything as he watches over you now. He was able to avoid thinking about a lot of things throughout the day but now, there’s no escape from his thoughts. You’re not awake, there’s no Jess or Peter, or TV to provide relief from the thoughts that have been on his mind since he woke up. And there are so, so many.
First, there’s the fact that Miguel briefly passed away. It isn’t that he thinks he’s invisible. He has experienced too many losses in his life to know that no one is invisible, no matter how strong, how kind, or how innocent someone may be. Death doesn’t care about those things. He’s also not fearful of dying. It’s never been about the actual act itself. It’s always been other factors. Like how a few months ago he was afraid of the aftermath. About whether anyone would care or even show up to his funeral because of the way he carried himself; distant and detached.
Then, on Peter’s birthday, you led him to lose that fear. Now he feels overwhelmed for another reason. It’s the realization that he feels regret. If he was to look back at his life up until the moment his heart stopped, Miguel realizes he wouldn’t look back with satisfaction when it came to his decisions and way of living. No, he would’ve looked back and seen himself experience loss after loss, heartache after heartache. He’d see himself giving up and turning away anyone who tried to get close, leading to his lonely life with a few lapses of time in which he was happy before he’d lose everything again. His short death has made him realize that he doesn’t want to look back at his life, when he’s older or when he’s gone for good, with disappointment and regret.
There’s also the thoughts about his dream or vision, or whatever the hell that was. Miguel moves his fingers under the blanket, extending his arms out the sides of the blanket so he can look at them. He successfully does this without hurting himself and when he finally sees his fingers, he closes his hands, remembering how it felt to hold Gabriella again. How it felt to hug his brother and wife. The dream comes to him quickly, playing through his mind. A part of him wants it to be real, while another part of him feels that it was real. How could it be otherwise when it felt so real? When it made sense? His family’s words echo through his mind again. Everything they said. They want him to move forward. To take this second chance. To stop his current way of living. Miguel also thinks of the guilt he has carried for so long and because a part of him believes his dream was a real but short reunion with them, he feels relieved. Like a weight has been taken off his shoulders, especially after his variant, his wife, and Gabriella forgave him for his actions.
Another thought plaguing Miguel’s mind is Miles’s card. He tried to act normal afterward but he’s sure you noticed the change of mood in him. He began to read it, expecting well wishes for a speedy recovery or something of the sort, and yes, that was part of it but not all of it. For some reason, Miles felt that it was necessary to talk about Miguel’s actions when it came to their “disagreement,” as Miles lightly put it, even though Miguel wouldn’t dare dream of wording it like that after how he behaved. No, Miguel accepts that his actions and words were disgusting and even though everyone has moved on, he continues to feel shame and regret for everything.
For hunting down Miles across the multiverse, for trying to stop him from saving Mr. Morales, the same man who sent him food for the holidays because for some reason he and Mrs. Morales still have it in their hearts to be forgiving and feel concerned for him, despite knowing that Miguel literally asked their son to accept Mr. Morales’s death as a canon event, not to mention the way he treated Miles. Yet, Miles and his family, and everyone else it seems, have moved on – something Miles made clear in his card. With the way Miles acts around him these days, Miguel kind of knew this already though, for Miles continues to call him “tío” sometimes, a title Miguel hasn’t felt worthy of. On top of that, Miles went on and apologized to him, something else Miguel doesn’t feel worthy of and yet, the young superhero apologized, claiming that he had disregarded Miguel’s fear back then, and that even though his theory wasn’t perfect, Miguel was basing it from what he knew back then, from his own experience. All in all, Miguel hadn’t expected such contents in the card but then again, what could he expect from someone who continuously surprised him. So, there’s Miles’s words, lingering in Miguel’s mind.
Then there’s you. You were the one to say it first, to claim him as your friend. And hell, Miguel wishes he could’ve said it back; that you’re his friend. The one that never asks for anything and has remained the same throughout all these months. Always kind, caring, and understanding. Miguel sighs, wishing. Wishing he could say it, and yet he can’t because he’s afraid. Everyone Miguel has ever cared about is gone, and the losses in his life have led to a fear. A fear that the moment he admits out loud that you’re his friend, too, that you’ll disappear; that something will happen to you and Miguel cannot take another loss. He cannot risk it even when a part of his brain tells him he's being irrational.
Miguel’s thoughts are starting to feel more like reasons. Like excuses. Like signs.
Miguel feels like he’s going backwards. For the longest time, Miguel has believed that the best way to “move forward” was accepting loneliness, the lack of friends and family, and that his life’s purpose is his job – his duty. He also believed he put behind certain hardships in his life like his childhood and how his stepfather treated him, not realizing the truth behind it until he discovered that the man he grew up fearful of, was never his father to begin with but rather the man he worked for as an adult. Or how his mother always placed Gabriel on a pedestal, her words cutting through him each time she told Miguel he would never be anything like him. He never resented Gabriel, but he couldn’t say the same for his mother even after they resolved their issues years later. There are so many wounds in Miguel’s heart and while he believes that he has moved on, or put them behind him, the reality is that all his wounds are still there; open and raw.
But Miguel kept going, thinking the next loss or heartache couldn’t possibly be worse than the last one. It was. Each time. It just reinforced his belief that he was meant for this lonely life.
Now, there’s so many signs, so many reasons… Everything around him, all his thoughts, every part of him telling him to go ahead and get his hopes up again. To let himself go back to a younger version of himself that longed for so much.
For a family. For friendships.
His family told him to try and move forward. His variant told him to seize the opportunity, to find another purpose other than work. Basically, to not let the hardships of his life dictate the rest of it. Then there’s Miles’s card, forgiving him for the way he acted towards him. And finally, you’re here. Sleeping on a fold out chair that he can never imagine sleeping comfortably on, hours later after telling him that he’s your friend. Looking after him in ways he’s never been looked after, treating him like he’s worthy of your friendship. Like he’s deserving of this second chance and being able to call you his friend. So many signs.
Miguel sighs quietly. It feels like he’s going backwards, and there’s nothing he can do about it. And maybe, he doesn’t want to do anything about it, Miguel realizes as he continues to watch you sleep.
He lays in bed, watching you and thinking when his thoughts are interrupted.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
Miguel turns to Lyla. “Can’t sleep.”
“So, you’re just watching Y/N instead…?”
“I’m not – what are you doing here?” Miguel asks frowning, talking quietly to avoid disturbing your sleep.
“Oh, don’t even try to deny it. You’ve been watching her for like – the last half hour. It’s weird, please stop,” Lyla says crossing her arms over her chest, frowning back at Miguel.
“I wasn’t… I was thinking.”
“Sureee, if that’s going to help you sleep, then go ahead.”
Miguel’s frown deepens but he says nothing else, his eyes returning to you, and once again, he wonders how you look so comfortable in that damn chair. Lyla joins him in staring at you and Miguel notices.
“Now who’s staring?” he asks.
“Oh, I’m just ‘thinking,’ boss,” Lyla says with a smirk, causing Miguel to roll his eyes. “But in all seriousness, I’m glad she’s finally sleeping. She’s been awake since three in the morning when she realized something was wrong.”
That peels Miguel’s attention from you to Lyla.
“What?”
Lyla shrugs, arms still crossed over her chest. “Yeah, she was awake since three in the morning and hasn’t slept until now.”
“No, the other thing. The thing about her figuring out something was wrong.”
Lyla’s eyes widen and she uncrosses her arms quickly. “Oh, you know, I just remembered that I need to do something for Jess. She wants it done by the time she arrives, so I ought to go because I don’t need a lecture from Jess.”
“Lyla,” Miguel whispers in a warning tone.
“Rest well and don’t be a creep, goodnight!” Lyla says before she disappears, leaving him with questions.
Miguel sighs, feeling annoyed that she avoided the question but now he knows. You were the one that figured it out but how? What were you doing at HQ so late? Miguel decides that he’ll ask you tomorrow, or rather later, as it’s already early Sunday. Miguel continues to watch you sleep until your soft and even breathing lure him back to sleep.
★★★
A few hours later, Miguel wakes up. He finds you sitting on the fold out chair, already dressed in different clothes and looking like you’ve showered. You’re on the tablet Ben Reilly brought you yesterday, eyebrows furrowed as you type into the screen.
“Good morning,” Miguel says, his voice sounding raspy and deeper than usual.
You look up and stand up immediately, leaving the tablet on the chair as you approach him.
“Good morning, Miguel. Did you sleep well?”
Miguel nods, closing his eyes for a second, getting used to the brighter light in the room. The sun is out today, and the sky is sprinkled with white clouds. The rain is gone.
“I did, thank you. What time is it?”
“It’s nine.”
“I slept too much,” he responds, opening his eyes.
“You need as much rest as possible,” you reply, observing Miguel’s face. He looks much better today.
“I guess so,” Miguel replies, looking at you again. “You look ready to start the day.”
You nod and smile. “I woke up about two hours ago and decided to go ahead and get ready for the day.”
Miguel gives you a small grin. “What are you working on?”
Meeting his eyes, you continue to smile. “Well, I asked Jess this morning if there was anything else I could help with around here. She assigned me to work on the report for this week.”
Miguel nods, thinking that’s something he always works on, but it doesn’t bother him that you’re doing it. If anything, it makes him think about something. And the thought grows as you grab the tablet and show him your progress so far. The layout is like the current one, just slightly different and he likes it. With the thoughts from last night still present in his mind, Miguel has the sudden thought that maybe he ought to let members do more around HQ. Maybe he should let someone else work on the report with him. Someone like you. He smiles softly as you show him, nodding. He’ll bring it up later, once he’s fully recovered.
“It looks great,” he says, and he means it.
“Thank you,” you say, saving your progress and putting the tablet away. “So, updates. Jess and Peter said they’d be here in a while. They’re bringing breakfast. The doctor came in and said she’ll look at your wounds sometime today to see the progress. Based on how they’re doing, she’ll decide when to discharge you. She also said you can shower today after she checks your wounds. So, would you like me or someone else to bring your personal items for a shower? You can wear normal clothes now, by the way. You just need to wear a jacket or something of the sort that can be slipped on and off if needed without you having to raise your arms too much.”
Miguel nods. “Yes, please. I really would like to shower and wear something else other than this,” he says looking down at the hospital gown. Thankfully he’s wearing his boxers underneath, but he doesn’t like how thin the fabric is and the AC has been constantly on.
“Alright, then we can ask the doctor to check your wounds after breakfast if you want. And then you can shower, which reminds me, the doctor said there’s a male nurse available. He’ll be ready to assist you.”
Miguel shakes his head. “I can do it by myself.”
You frown. “Miguel…”
“At least the lower half of my body, I can,” he says softly and looks away. “I may need help with my hair and torso but that’s it.”
“You’ll let the nurse help you with the rest though, right? You’ll hurt yourself if you try to do it alone.”
Miguel continues to look away. The thought of a stranger, despite being his employee, makes him feel weird, and not because it’s a man. He doesn’t want a stranger to touch him. He sighs and you know why.
“Would you be – more comfortable with one of us helping you?” you ask lowly.
Miguel’s eyes shift to you. There’s Jess, Peter, and you as his options.
You shrug a bit. “I don’t mind. And I’m sure neither would Peter and Jess if you ask them.”
Miguel nods slowly. “I hate to ask…”
You stare at him, swallowing slowly because you have a feeling that he’d prefer for you to help him, but he can’t ask. You decide to put it out there for him.
“I can help you if you’d like.”
And Miguel nods a few seconds later. “Thank you. I’m sorry – I know it’s too much. You’ve done so much already and I…”
“It’s not too much,” you answer softly. “It’s alright. Let’s just focus on you recovering, okay? Everything else – it doesn’t matter.”
Miguel nods but he still feels odd about this. He’s so used to doing everything on his own, which is how he got here, he realizes. He tries to put his feelings away just as there’s a knock on the door. Jess and Peter walk in, both carrying takeout bags. Peter is talking loudly and saying something about a nurse. Miguel and you frown, thinking that they must have been seen carrying in outside food.
“You didn’t get in trouble for bringing outside food?” you ask.
Jess frowns before she realizes what you’re talking about. “Oh, right. There’s that rule. Nobody follows it,” she says with a shrug.
You turn to Miguel as Jess and Peter start putting out the food on the same table from yesterday. The two of you share a look of disbelief at Jess’s comment before you grin, shaking your head softly. Miguel offers you a small smile in return.
The four of you have breakfast. It turns out that Jess brought breakfast from a diner in her universe, apparently a favorite spot of her husband’s, who kindly sent the food and wished Miguel a speedy recovery. After breakfast, Jess and Peter ask Miguel if they can talk about certain tasks that need his approval. You decide to take this time and collect his personal items. He gives you a quick rundown of everything he’d need and where you can find it before you head out.
It doesn’t take you very long. You retrieve his personal hygiene items like his shampoo, body wash, and deodorant along with his hairbrush. You move to the clothes next. It turns out that Miguel has a large walk-in closet, located in his room that you completely missed when you came to look for him two nights ago as the doors blend with the rest of the wall so much. You pick up two pairs of dark grey sweatpants, at his request, and two jackets, along with two pairs of boxers. You remember to grab some slippers and socks as well, and pack everything into a travel bag before you head out of his bedroom, briefly taking in his space.
Miguel’s room is large, clean, and well organized but you can tell he doesn’t spend a lot of time here. Everything is in neutral colors like his grey bed set. You head to Miguel’s home office next to pick up the last thing he requested. A vial that’s supposed to contain a green liquid and a syringe. You wondered but of course you didn’t ask.
You enter the office, finding it like the rest of Miguel’s penthouse; clean and organized, all neutral colors. You head to the desk, remembering he said you’d find what he needs in the first drawer and sure enough, you find the items there. The squared vials, which contain a neon green liquid, are in a small box meant to keep them from breaking. You pick one up, careful not to drop it, and place it in one of the small storage bags within the traveling bag. The large syringe is also in the drawer, and it’s apparently Spider-Man themed as you notice the injecting needles are designed to look like a spider’s fangs. You slide it into the bag, too. You walk out of the office, ready to head back as the strange vial is on your mind.
When you return to HQ, you find Jess and Peter standing off to the side. Miguel is on the bed surrounded by the medical team just as they’re preparing to remove his gauzes. You stick back with Jess and Peter, still holding the travel bag in your hand as Jess tells Miguel about the different things done to fix the system failure from yesterday. Miguel nods, listening intently as a nurse unties the hospital gown from the back of his neck, gently moving it down his arms to not hurt him and for the first time, you see the extent of his injuries. Most of his torso is covered in gauzes with only a few areas showing his skin and it makes you realize just how much he was injured. Thankfully Jess continues talking, showing no hesitation. Meanwhile, you sense Peter going still much like you. He looks out the window with a soft and thoughtful look on his face while you look down at the traveling bag, both of you feeling stunned by the sight of Miguel’s torso covered in gauzes.
You eventually look up again, noticing that the team is now removing gauzes, revealing Miguel’s injuries. Even from this distance you can see light pink lines across his skin from the smaller wounds. You also notice other things, like Miguel’s physique. You obviously know he’s well-built due to being a superhero but as your eyes respectfully inspect his upper body you still feel… admiration? Surprise? In a matter of seconds your eyes take in his broad and defined shoulders, his collarbone, and the lines of definition that mark his chest and abdomen. And when you look at his arms, you notice his large biceps and the veins leading down to his hands. As silly as it sounds all you can think about is that phrase everyone uses when they talk about a well-built and handsome man. It’s like Miguel was sculpted by -
“Did you get everything Miguel needed?”
“What?” you reply quietly, blinking and turning your head to Peter, startled.
“I asked if you got everything Miguel needed. You okay? You look a little distracted,” Peter says with a little grin.
You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you nod. “Yeah, I got everything. And yes, I’m fine. Just – it’s been a stressful weekend, that’s all,” you answer neutrally, looking down at your gizmo as an excuse to avoid Peter’s gaze because you sense that he caught you staring.
You briefly look at Miguel, his eyes are on Jess as she continues to talk, thankfully unaware that you were staring at him. The medical team continues to work and at last, all the gauzes are removed. You can see the worst of his injuries now which include the two large cuts on his side and then the one in his stomach from the trident, which needed stitches. The doctor tells you how to go about cleaning his wounds, as Miguel makes it known you’ll be helping him, so you take note of everything for when the time comes.
“Well, that’s everything. The other thing I was thinking about is that we should consider training or at least educating more members on how to work with the system. Y/N had to get Margo in order to get Lyla working again when she arrived at HQ,” Jess says, not realizing Miguel still hasn’t heard the whole story.
Miguel sits on the bed; the hospital gown is draped over his chest now. At the mention of you arriving to HQ and discovering something was wrong, he meets your eyes. Two people have now mentioned you arriving at HQ and being the one to discover something was wrong. Miguel’s curiosity only grows but he doesn’t ask right now with Jess and Peter here. He’ll be asking you soon, even though he notices you avert his gaze. He returns his gaze to Jess and nods.
“It’s not a bad idea,” he says after a few seconds, which surprises Jess. She was expecting opposition. “Let’s put together a list of members that would be interested and suitable for it.”
Jess nods. “I already have a list. These two are included,” Jess says nodding at you and Peter.
Miguel’s eyes turn to you and Peter. “If you’re interested, you’re approved.”
“Oh, thanks, pal! I’m in.”
You nod. “I’m interested, too. Thank you.”
“Then it’s settled. You’ll be the first to be trained,” Miguel says softly. “I’ll personally teach you once I’m back in the lab.”
Peter and you nod, giving him smiles.
“Well, that’s really everything now. We’ll go ahead and head out so you can shower. Don’t worry about lunch or dinner. My husband and I are cooking something for you,” Jess says smiling fondly. “He agreed you two deserve a homemade meal now that things are calmer. You know how he is,” she adds with a smile that you only see on her when she talks about her partner.
“Thank you, Jess. Please give my thanks to your husband as well,” Miguel says pausing, taking the moment to look at all of you. “Thank you for everything,” Miguel expresses, with his tone full of sincerity.
You smile at him as Jess and Peter say something, not finding it necessary to tell him anything else. You’ve told him already. Being here and helping him is not an inconvenience to you. He’s your friend, and you want to be here for him.
Jess and Peter head out shortly after, and you prepare to help Miguel shower.
You set his personal hygiene items out in the bathroom, along with his clothes before you help Miguel out of the bed once again. You walk with him to the bathroom and start the shower for him, angling the shower head so that he can wash the lower half of his body without getting his torso wet, as too much exposure to water can lead to infection. You leave towels out, easily accessible for him and head out but not before telling him to let you know if he needs help or when he’s ready.
You also ask him to take his time so he doesn’t hurt himself as the deeper wounds will take maybe two or three more days to fully heal. And Miguel promises he will.
You head out, closing the door behind you and prepare the items you’ll be needing to dress his wounds once he’s out. You also prepare the soap, washcloths, and two water basins the medical team provided to wash his upper body.
You wait patiently for Miguel to finish and as you do, you clean around the room to give yourself something to do. You fix his bed, fold the blankets, and rearrange the flowers and snack baskets gifted to Miguel since you picked up more items this morning while Miguel was still sleeping from the waiting area. Once done, you look around as you take a sip of leftover coffee from breakfast and that’s when you hear Miguel’s voice. You walk over and knock, asking if you can come in and do so once he replies yes.
When you walk into the bathroom, Miguel is standing in the shower. A towel is wrapped around his waist. The end of the towel is tucked in but he still his hand over it, as if he’s afraid it’ll slip off.
“Everything okay?” you ask. “No issues?”
“No issues, I just took a long time,” he says quietly.
“That’s alright. As long as you don’t get hurt, that’s all that matters,” you say. “Let me grab the other items, okay?”
He nods before you walk out and retrieve the items you prepared earlier. You come in again, feeling glad the shower is large enough to fit about three people despite a shower chair and bench being inside. Miguel watches silently, unable to stop himself from feeling embarrassed about the whole thing. He observes you place the water basins on the shower chair before you check the water temperature to make sure it’s not too hot, as you don’t want to cause Miguel any irritation or discomfort to his sensitive wounds. You finally angle the shower head towards the water basins to fill them as this is how you’re washing his chest. You check the soap that was given to you by the medical team when you remember.
“Shoot, I forgot to ask for something else,” you say, placing the soap on the bathroom counter. “It shouldn’t take me long, hold on.”
“What’s needed?” Miguel asks curiously, as nothing seems to be missing.
You pause, thinking how to word your statement. “I’m going to ask for gloves. It might be better for me to wear gloves to avoid – touching your injuries directly.”
You feel satisfied with your response. You didn’t say that you’ll be asking for gloves specifically to respect his boundaries regarding physical touch. All throughout the weekend you’ve done your best to avoid it, only touching him when there are fabrics in between and when it’s absolutely necessary. Miguel looks down at you with a look you can only describe as soft and tender, but it’s so brief you almost feel like you made it up.
Miguel gazes at you, knowing your true reason for wanting to request gloves, which leaves him unable to stop this warm feeling from taking root in his chest. Tenderness. It spreads across his chest rapidly and he tries his best to hide it even when he’s sure it’s too late to prevent it from showing on his face, but he can’t help it.
Despite everything, how tired you may be and how much he’s already asking of you, you’re still trying to respect his boundaries, something he’s always been silently grateful for. He gives you a small smile.
“I don’t mind,” Miguel says at last.
You nod slowly. “Okay – you’re sure, though? I can quickly go get some. The medical team has been wonderful, and they’d get me a pair in no time.”
“It’s alright. You don’t need to get gloves,” Miguel replies quietly but with a reassuring tone.
You nod again and look at the water basins, they’re halfway filled now.
“Okay… Alright, then let’s get you cleaned up. You might start getting cold with the AC continuously running,” you say, trying to distract yourself from the fact he’s okay with potentially feeling your hands on his skin.
You push away your thoughts regarding that and prepare yourself mentally, as you don’t want to hurt Miguel in the process. You wash your hands thoroughly and go through the steps the medical team gave you in your head as Miguel waits patiently. The two of you decide to start with washing his chest first before anything else as you both figure that it’ll take the most time and then leave his hair for last.
And so, after grabbing the smaller shower bench to stand on because you can’t reach his shoulders all the way, you begin. You start from Miguel’s shoulders and make your way down slowly. You do this in parts. Cleaning the areas gently, rinsing the soap away, and then softly patting dry Miguel’s skin to avoid any infections. Your movements are gentle and cautious, and you continuously ask Miguel if he’s alright; urging him to tell you if you need to be more careful. Miguel assures you he’s in no pain or discomfort. He almost tells you he believes it’s impossible for you to be any gentler with him. Your gentleness makes him feel like some fragile object that may break with just the wrong look. Thankfully, his embarrassment fades slowly as you don’t seem to mind this. You look so focused on the task, like it’s your sole mission to avoid hurting him.
You dip the washcloth into the water basin once more before you slightly push the shower bench away, no longer needing it for height right now until you wash his back. You carry on while Miguel stands there, still holding the towel around his waist with one hand softly, staring at the shower wall and occasionally looking down at you briefly. He distracts himself for a bit by wondering if he’ll have some scars from this. He’s certain the trident wound will most definitely leave one behind since it was the deepest wound, but it doesn’t bother him. Miguel doesn’t view scars or anything of the sort like stretchmarks on a body as a flaw or imperfection. He’s just curious if there’ll be a physical reminder of this event on his body.
Miguel’s thoughts are interrupted when he feels the washcloth lower on his body. You’re about to reach the trident wound at last and that means you’re reaching his lower abdomen. He feels a bit embarrassed as the towel is just inches above his pelvic area. He’s afraid that you’ll find this to be too much but when he looks at you, you have the same look on your face. You’re not eyeing him or helping him with hesitation. You’re only focused on his comfort and making sure that the wounds are clean. He does think about the way you were looking at him earlier though when the team was removing the gauzes. He noticed a look of surprise on your face, but he doesn’t know if it was due to the injuries or his body overall. Either way, he didn’t mind.
You finish at last and rinse the last part before you dry the area softly but effectively, as this is the area with the worst of his injuries.
“We’re done. Do you feel any discomfort? Please tell me if you do,” you state with concern.
“No discomfort. I hardly felt anything,” Miguel reassures you. “Really, you can relax.”
You sigh softly and nod, relieved because you can tell he’s not lying. “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried I was putting too much pressure at times because some of the wounds had – you know – dry blood, so I wanted to clean the wounds properly,” you softly reply. You give him a small smile now, glad the most nerve wrecking part is over. “Alright, let’s wash the rest of your body now.”
You wash the rest of Miguel’s body, washing his arms all the way to his fingers. You keep a neutral face even when you hold his wrists so you can wash his hands, noticing the slits on Miguel’s finger pads from where his talons come out. And of course, you’re sort of in awe at how large his hands are. It’s not like you haven’t noticed before but they somehow look larger without the suit. You push your thoughts away, making sure that Miguel is in no discomfort and that you don’t waste time but even then, you can’t help but notice how his skin feels or how warm he is. You silently think about how you’ve never encountered anyone with such body warmth.  
The two of you are silent the whole time but it’s a comfortable silence. Neither of you feel the need to fill the quiet and besides, Miguel’s mind is occupied with last night’s thoughts, about the new proposition to educate members on how to operate the system, and on top of that, he’s still wondering how you knew something was wrong. He wants to ask but the fact that you averted his gaze when Jess mentioned it makes him think you’re not ready to talk about it. So, he’ll wait for a few days.
You gently wash Miguel’s sides, his underarms, and finally his back having to use the shower bench again to reach his shoulders. You rinse his body, holding a towel above the one wrapped around his waist to avoid getting it damp. Finally, you pat him dry everywhere again.  
You move to his hair at last. For this, the shower chair is used. You arrange it so that you can stand behind Miguel while he sits on it. With everything you need at your disposal, you start by wetting his hair. You pour warm water, making sure that his hair is completely wet before you lather the shampoo in your hands. You proceed to glide your fingers into Miguel’s hair, gently pressing your fingertips into his scalp.
At your request, Miguel’s eyes are closed since you’re worried water or shampoo will get in his eyes. And the moment he feels your fingertips on his scalp, Miguel’s relieved you requested that of him. His lips part slightly in both surprise and delight at the sensation of your fingers in his hair. Fortunately for him, you don’t notice. He quickly closes his lips and bites the inside of his cheek as he continues to feel your fingertips through his hair. His grip on the towel around his waist tightens and for a few seconds he's afraid his talons will come out.
And you, you’re oblivious to all of this as Miguel tries very hard not to let it show. You just continue to wash his hair, noticing more than ever the curls on Miguel’s hair. His hair is silky, and you briefly wonder what it’d be like to glide your fingers through it when it’s dry. It reminds you of the countless times you played with Peter’s hair, something he absolutely loved, claiming it always eased his stress.
Thinking about Peter in this moment leads you to remember the one time you washed his hair. It was shortly after the two of you moved in together. You painted the living room, and he got paint on it, which refused to come out after the first two showers. He ended up sitting on the tub while you sat on the edge, washing his hair a few times until it finally came off. It was the only time you got to reciprocate such intimate act even though he helped you shower on more than five occasions, when you returned home with nasty bruises and cuts, and completely spent from fighting.
Miguel continues to sit still, your hands still washing his hair gently, and he decides to talk about anything to keep his mind occupied and distracted from your hands on his scalp.
“Have you ever received injuries like these?” he asks, keeping his eyes closed.
The question interrupts your thoughts, and it takes you a few seconds to answer.
“To this degree… One time only. I got cut with a sword,” you say, recalling that incidence. “The guy caught me by surprise while I was helping civilians out of the way. I needed a few stitches.”
Miguel hums softly in acknowledgement. “A sword…”
You chuckle. “Yep. Got home afterwards and well, Peter had to help.”
Miguel turns his head slightly at that. “Peter? You didn’t go to the hospital?”
You slow down your movements as you’re now washing the hair near Miguel’s nape. “I was too – precautious, I guess you could say. Paranoid might be the best term here. I feared that the hospital staff would start asking questions or put two and two together about being Spider-Woman. I was afraid that my identity would be revealed. That Peter’s life would be a mess because of me.”
Miguel listens intently, briefly feeling thankful that the conversation is distracting him from your touch.
“So, I refused to go to the hospital. It was a condition I had. Unless it was very, very serious then I’d go but otherwise no. Peter ended up taking a class on wound care and CPR because of my decision, even though he was very against it, but he was always very supportive… Thankfully by the time that happened he already knew how to take care of it. That was the first and last time he had to give me stitches.”
You pause for a few seconds, thinking. To this day you have a slight scar on the side of your stomach, and you carry it with love, for it’s one of the reminders of Peter’s love. You sigh softly and wash Miguel’s hair near his ears now, careful not to get shampoo on them. Miguel sits there thinking about Peter. He never met the man but just from what he’s acquire, he knows Peter loved you. So much, that he took classes on wound care to treat your injuries. Miguel feels grief for you. You had such a beautiful relationship with Peter. He wonders silently if at this point, you’d be married to him. If you’d have a child by now.  
You’re almost done washing his hair when his thoughts lead to a different line of thinking. He hates it because he knows it’s wrong and yet he cannot stop his thoughts. Would you still be here if Peter was alive? Or would you be just another member who reached the conclusion that perhaps he was a lost cause after weeks of him ignoring your coffee cups? Would you go home to Peter and tell him about your distant boss, who spends too many hours on his own in his lab? Would you be here? Would you be a constant in his life the way you are now?
Would any of this have happened at all, he wonders. If Peter was here, there would’ve been no need for him to show up to your apartment that day you were unwell. There would be no talking on Peter’s birthday over cake and ice cream. No sharing of pan dulce and Mexican candy on Dia de los Muertos night, no one to watch the Christmas lights or New Year’s Eve show with. There would be no you.
You wouldn’t be a part of his life the way you are but if Miguel had the power to choose between you being a part of his life or you living your best life with Peter unscathed, he’d choose the latter, even if it meant there would be no you in his life.
Even the thought, the simple thought, that there’s a chance you could’ve never been a part of his life like this, leaves Miguel with a heavy feeling in his chest that rises to his throat. A feeling that he hasn’t felt in a while and it’s one that tells him he has something to lose again. And that’s how he truly knows. He’s been going backwards all this time. Each moment spent with you behind closed doors talking over coffee, or on rooftops gazing at cities across the multiverse, each moment that either of you’ve shared something with the other about your past and loved ones, or each time he thought of you late at night when his exhausted mind wandered off; he’s been slipping backwards all this time and he hasn’t even realized it until now. And despite knowing he’d give this up for you to be happy with Peter, he still can’t help but grief over the thought alone, causing that feeling to grow in Miguel’s throat.
You continue to wash Miguel’s hair and then rinse, laying your hand gently over his forehead to prevent any water from rolling down his face as you do so. You have no idea what’s on Miguel’s mind or what causes him to sigh deeply before he speaks.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I haven’t said it but I’m sorry for your loss. Peter – he sounds like he was an incredible human being.”
You smile sadly as you rinse his hair out. “Thank you… He was. I wish he would’ve had more time. I think – he would’ve done a lot of amazing things. He had so many goals,” you share quietly, remembering all the ideas and plans he had, which had remained exactly that. Just ideas and plans. You finish rinsing Miguel’s hair and give him a happier smile now. “We’re almost done here.”
Miguel nods gently, still thinking about everything. For once, his mind isn’t occupied with tasks regarding the Spider Society but with other affairs. As you rinse the bottom of his hair, squeezing out the water gently, Miguel opens his eyes.
“Y/N?” he says, making you pause.
“Yes?”
Miguel stays silent for a few seconds, staring at the ceiling.
“Thank you,” Miguel says softly, heavy with sincerity.
And the way he says those simple words, it makes your lips part in surprise and endearment, for you sense that his thanks extend beyond this moment. Miguel turns his head towards you, his red eyes meeting your gaze. You give him a smile.
“Always,” you reply quietly, and he nods with a small smile of his own before you finish rinsing his hair.
You finish helping Miguel with the rest. You dry his hair with a towel and brush it. You help him get dressed once the two of you figure out a way to do so without him feeling improper. At last, Miguel stands in his sweatpants, still topless as you must dress his wounds. You do this in the room instead of the bathroom, with Miguel sitting on the fold-out chair you’ve claimed as yours this weekend. You sit on the shower bench and tend to his wounds the way you were told to, applying your own knowledge from experience over the years.
The TV is on as you work carefully. Miguel seems unbothered until you reach the trident wound and the two lacerations on his side, wincing silently which makes you stop to give him a moment. At last, his wounds are taken care of for the day. You help him apply deodorant before you slip a beige jacket on, zipping it up so he won’t get cold.
It isn’t until you’re done fixing the bathroom from the shower that Miguel asks about the vial, reminding you about it. You get it out along with the syringe before you show them to him. You know he can’t do it himself and despite your curiosity, you don’t ask questions about it, deciding that he’ll share details about it if he wants. So, you only offer to help, and he accepts. He tells you how to do it and the process is over in a few seconds with a fleeting red glow in his eyes. You don’t say anything and neither does Miguel, who looks down at his hands as you put away the syringe.
As promised, Jess arrives during lunch and dinnertime to bring the two of you food. You help Miguel eat both times and you notice he seems in much better spirits than the day before. It’s about 7pm when your gizmo goes off, alarming you of a new notification, and then another, and then another. Miguel, who now sits on the bed, turns to look at you with a puzzled look much like yours as you check it. You smile in amusement as you see it’s your friends, wondering if you and Miguel need something, and just overall asking about his health. Another one arrives, making Miguel raise his eyebrow as you look up at him.
“It’s my friends,” you say with a soft smile. “They’re wondering how you’re doing and if we need anything.”
Miguel nods, noticing the smile on your face as you talk about your group of friends. He realizes you probably haven’t seen them since Friday after the weekly dinner that Peter and Mary Jane host. Dinners that Miguel has been invited to but has never shown up to.
“If you want to see them,” Miguel starts. “They can come.”
You hold his gaze with a bit of surprise, which Miguel finds amusing.
“There are no rules against visitors this late in the evening, and even if there were – they’d probably be disregarded as well, just like the outside food rule,” Miguel says with a shrug, making you smile even more.
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
You beam at Miguel, and nod before you invite them over. Your visible excitement makes Miguel feel pleased with his decision. And, in the span of ten minutes, you and Miguel are joined by all your friends, including Lego Spider-Man, who was apparently hanging out with Noir. Miguel sits on the bed, surrounded by some of your friends as you hang out by the windows with Hobie and Pav specifically.
You watch Miguel as he talks to Lego Spider-Man, who’s held in Noir’s palm. You notice he gives Miguel a balloon and a flower, from his Lego universe, of course. Miguel nods at something the small superhero tells him, and you smile faintly before turning your attention back to your friends.
Miguel thanks everyone as they approach him, not only for the cards and well wishes but for helping around HQ. When Miles approaches him, he takes the time to thank him for his words – for his forgiveness.
“Wait, you guys know what I just realized?” Pav asks suddenly in a surprised tone.
You and Hobie both raise an eyebrow.
“This is the first time I’ve seen Miguel in normal clothes. This is so weird,” he shares frowning at Miguel, who doesn’t notice Pav’s shock. “It’s like – It feels wrong to see him like this.”
Hobie chuckles and you try not to laugh, catching Miguel’s eyes. He raises an eyebrow at you, as if asking what’s so funny. You shrug and mouth “later.” He nods as Pav continues about how strange Miguel looks until he changes the discussion to Gayatri, his girlfriend.
Miguel looks around the room, now filled with chaotic energy. His eyes land on you as you smile and nod at something Pav says.
He sighs quietly. He thinks about the dream with his family, about their words. He remembers Gabriel asking him to try to move forward and live life, and Miguel telling his brother he’d try. He doesn’t know exactly how he’s going to approach this entirely, but he is going to try. And as he continues to look at you, he thinks of his thoughts from earlier; about the possibility of you not being here or being his friend.
He'd give this up if it meant you’d be happy at home with Peter right now. If he had the power, he would but he doesn’t. He can’t change the past. None of it. No matter how much he has wished he could, it’s out of his hands. And so, he has no other excuse to give this up. No other excuse to push this away or catch himself from falling backwards even though he knows it’s too late anyway. He can’t walk away even if he wanted to.
“It’s gonna be alright, tío,” Miles says out of nowhere, noticing Miguel staring at you.
Miguel looks at Miles and nods. “Yeah, you’re right. Thank you… mijo.”
Miles nods with a grin, his eyes light up at Miguel’s response, which the commander of the Spider Society notices.
“Uh – I just remembered I need to tell Gwen something. I’ll be right back,” Miles says, looking like he can’t believe what he heard, amusing Miguel before he walks to Gwen.
Miguel’s eyes return to you. He has a lot to share with you about his life; like his childhood, the situation with his parents, Gabriel’s death, or why he needs to use suppressants among other events in his life. He’ll share those things with you one day, little by little. The same way one day he’ll say those words that his mouth begs him to say.
You’re my friend.
One day, he’ll claim you as his friend out loud, too. In the meantime, he’ll try to show it through his actions instead.
___________ *Translation for italicized Spanish words:* conchas - Mexican bread shaped like a seashell Dia de los Muertos - Day of the Dead Mierda - Shit Tío - Uncle Pan Dulce - Sweet bread; Mexican pastry breads Mijo - My son ___________ Hi, guys! So sorry for taking a while to update. I honestly didn't expect to take this long writing this part. I had a clear idea for this part but got caught up with family events and just life in general. To the anon that asked when this part was going up and I said last Monday - I'm sorry it took me basically another whole week. 😭 I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter though. My simpness jumped out for this one so bad lol. The speakable things I'd do for this man are unreal!! I just want to hug Miguel and hold him and tell him he's worth it and deserving of love and friendships!!! 🥺
Anyway, I hope to return to my regular Sunday schedule this upcoming weekend. I'm also planning on doing some short drabbles for this month because I can't stop thinking about autumn and Miguel and just how freaking cozy he would be. Also, just very quickly! Some readers have drawn fan art for Nonviolent Communication, which I still cannot wrap my head around. I'm so, so thankful that these lovely artists drew art for it. I never imagined that someone, let alone two people, would take time out of their days to do so. Thank you again so much! 🥹 If you're interested to see some of the scenes from the story, including someone's take on reader's Peter (which @sunsetdoodler somehow managed to draw exactly like my personal vision of him??! I still feel emotional. One of their drawings was also the inspiration for the larger coffee cups for Miguel after we talked about Miguel probably needing more caffeine because of his physique lol) then please go check it out, and show the artists some love, please!! It's all linked on my masterlist. Thank you so much for the support throughout this story. I genuinely love reading the comments and asks I receive, and I hope you guys continue to enjoy the story to the end. I'm just really in awe with how wonderful this community is and I'm thankful to my 6'9" half-Irish, half-Mexican boyfriend for it.
I'm off to sleep now as it's 1am and I've been writing and editing all weekend lol. Take care guys and enjoy the spooky vibes this month!! ❤️🎃🍁
-Alondra🍁
Tag list: @loverlorn @saturnknows @d1lf-loverrr @eddiestitmiguelsbigdick @freehentai @arithestrawberry @scaleniusrm @haradasaya @spidermanismyfav @bitchykittenconnoisseur @thecraziestcrayon @obi-mom-kenobi @natsury-kazuki @rootin-tootin-morgan @coraline750 @edgycatx @safixiovi @sunnyx07 @nxrdamp @rorel1a @oceanstar19 @happishark @carmilla01 @somebodyelsethanyouthink @adora-but-ginger @angie2274 @vampi-amora @tired-writer04 @plzfeedmebread @shadow-pancake9 @tynakub @faretheeoscar @giulscomix @luvstuffies @coffeeauthorvibing @lauraolar14 @bl0osclues @pinkiemme @lil-cinn @mashiromochi @loveletterfrommwah @mandodinstuff @muzansucker @theleftkittycollection @kikookii @www-interludeshadow-com @holographicang3l @aisyakirmann @bucky-to-my-barnes @geraskier-thots @l3laze @yujyujj @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @damhanallagorm @heyohalie @kaliuea
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mrs-barnes-library · 1 year
Text
My Favorite Kakashi Hatake Fanfictions ⚡📕
(( THIS IS THE REDIRECTED POST BECAUSE OF THE TECHNICAL ISSUES I HAD ADDING LINKS ))
Fluff : 🌺    Smut : 🔥    Angst : 😭    None : 🌲 Incorrect Quotes : 💫 My Work : ✨💚    Dark content :  ⚠
If you like these characters don't hesitate to check the new arrivals, I update every day according to my readings.
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Kakashi Hatake ⚡📕 :
A Step Forward 🌺✨💚
First Kiss 🌺
How He Reacts To You Flirting With Him 🌺
You've Been Starring 🌺
I'll Never Drop You 🌺
Are You Wearing This Just For Me ? 🌺🔥
Don't Say That 🌺
Hot Things He Does 🌺
Nonsense 🌺
Return 🌺 - Bells 🔥
My Only 🌺
Treason ? 🌺
His Reaction For You Calling Him By His Full Name 🌺
He Walks On You Changing 🌺
I Want U 🌺
How He Is Around You When He Likes You 🌺
Mornings With Him 🌺
Is He A Virgin ? 🌺🔥
Being An Uchiha 🌺 ( With Itachi )
How He Falls For You 🌺
When He Gets Jealous 🌺
How He Apologizes To You After A Fight 🌺
Having Anger Issues 🌺
When Youre A Foreigner 🌺
I Can't Run Anymore 🌺
First Date With Him 🌺
Flirting With Him 🌺
Really Smart 🌺
Soft Kisses 🌺
When He Is The Little Spoon 🌺
Floppy Hat 🌺
Hands On Mine 🌺
What Is His Name ?!? 🌺✨💚
His Reaction To His S/o Offering Him Flowers 🌺
Witnessing His S/o Getting Harassed 🌺
Taking Care Of His Wounds 🌺
Learning His S/o Is A Witch 🌺
Drawing Him 🌺
Him Saying I Love You For The First Time 🌺
Soft Moment 🌺
Confessing To His Crush 🌺
Maybe I Should Have Taken Your Book Sooner 🌺
Falling Asleep On His Shoulder 🌺
His Love Language 🌺
Seeing His Face For The First Time 🌺
Truth Or Dare With Team 7 🌺
Strong And Indeppendant S/o Who Gets Trusted With A And S Rank Mission 🌺
Hand Holding 🌺
Tsunade Sending You Both On A Mission 🌺
Cuddles 🌺
Dummies 🌺
Home 🌺
Behind The Mask 🌺
Napping Tradition 🌺
Defiant 🌺
What Are We ? 🌺
When His S/o Loves Giving And Receving Kisses And Cuddles 🌺
Finding Your Sef Harm Scars 🌺
When You're On Your Period 🌺
A Nice Walk 🌺
With An Angel Hybrid Reader
Does That Mean I'm Not Your Friend ? 🌺
Reacting To Yo Wanting To Shave His Legs 🌺
Reacting To You Wearing A White Shirt Top But It Rained And It's Transy Now 🌺🔥
Late Nights 🌺
Stargazing With Him 🌺
Are We Close Enough 🌺
Soft Movie Night 🌺
Extroverted 🌺
How He Reacts To You Calling Him A Sexy Microwave Oven 🌺
I Said No 🌺
Dear Idiot 🌺
His Love Language 🌺
Worth It 🌺
Confessing Headcanon 🌺
Sleeping Headcanon 🌺
Reacting To You Having A Panic Attack 🌺
How He Hold Your Hand 🌺
Cuddling 🌺
When You're A Comedian 🌺
Flower Prank 🌺
Hot Water 🔥
Pollen Count / Hay Fever 🔥
How They 'd Fuck You After A Long Absence 🔥
NSFW Alphabet 🔥
Suddenly Telling Him You're In The Mood 🔥
Giving Him A Head 🔥
How He Reacts To You Using The Safe Word 🔥
69 🔥
Squirting 🔥
Blowjob 🔥
In The Other Room 🔥
Thigh Riding 🔥
Cockwarming 🔥
Him Reacting To Your Ahegao Face 🔥
Semi Public Sex 🔥
Tiny 🔥
Friends With Benefits ? 🔥
Listen 🔥
Showering For The First Time 🔥
NSFW Headacanons 🔥
Virginity Loss 🔥
Cockwarming 🔥
How He Seduces You 🔥
NSFW Alphabet 🔥
Sore Bite Marks 🔥
Movie Night 🔥
You Wanna Fuck Louder Than Them To Establish Dominance ? 🔥
Uh ! All Night
🔥
Jealous And Possessive 🔥
Don't You Know What You're Doing To Me 🔥
What If I Hurt You ? 🔥
Yandere And Jealous NSFW Headcanon 🔥✨💚
NSFW Alphabet 🔥
His Quirks When Making Love To You 🔥
Giving His S/o A Facial 🔥
Swallowing 🔥
Discovering You Can Squirt 🔥
Squirting 🔥
Sometime Reading Is Just Not Enough For Him 🔥 💚✨
Finally 🔥
Relationship Headcanon 🔥
Sleeping With Him 🔥
Dirty A-Z Headcanons 🔥
A Clone ? / Pregnant ( with Team 7 ) 🔥
Imagine : Undressing Each Other And Discovering You Were Both Part Of The ANBU 🔥💚✨
Catching His S/o Watching Porn 🔥
Anxious For Your First Time With Him 🔥🌺
Crying After Your First Time With Him 🔥🌺
Cockwarming 🔥
Couch Locked 🔥
Having Sex For The First Time 🔥
Crying After Your First Time With Him 🔥🌺
Y And Z 🔥
His Favorite Sounds 🔥
Bondage 🔥
In The Private Onsen 🔥
His Sharingan Activates When You Touch Him The First Time 🔥
He Likes To Throw Your Legs Over His Shoulders 🔥
Can He Find Your Clit ? 🔥
His First Time 🔥
Nice And Snug 🔥
How He Reacts To You Starting To Rock Your His Against His 🔥💚✨
He Like To Finger You And Eat You Out At The Same Time 🔥
Biting, Hickeys And Claiming 🔥
Shower Sex 🔥
That Moment You Tried To Top Him 🔥💚✨
Character Who Are Into Incest 🔥⚠
Morning After 🔥
Would He Handle Masturbating In Front Of You 🔥💚✨
Chat fics :
I Want U 🌺
Incorrect Quotes 💫 :
Little Bird 💫🌺
You Guys Kiss ? 💫😂
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iheartyouyou · 1 year
Text
SWEETHEART | Jeremiah Fisher
Summary: After your parents file for a divorce, you’re forced to move in with your mom’s friend until the divorce is finalized. You wished you could stay with your dad and your friends, but when you meet Jeremiah Fisher, that changes. And now you’re wanting to stay in the Cousins. Too bad things don’t last forever.
Word Count:
Part: 6
previous part series masterlist next part
Authors Note: I’m like actually so sorry for not updating. I’ve just been really unmotivated but since season 2 is out I’ve gotten more motivation and energy to continue the series! Not proofread (like always) but please let me know if you want to be on the taglist or if I missed you! (it wouldn’t let me tag some ppl for some odd reason.)
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“Y/N, wake up!” You hear someone whisper.
You mumble something you don’t even remember, shoving your face deeper into a pillow. You think whoever was trying to wake you left, and so just as you were about to fall back asleep a pillow hit your back.
You look up to see Jeremiah with a pillow in his hand… and he was shirtless. You lazily stared at his abs before he smacked your face with pillow.
Fuck, did he notice?
“C’mon! It’s Belly’s birthday, we gotta go get up before her.” He says.
“Wha—“ You start, cut off with another pillow to face. You reach your arm out to snatch the pillow away, but he pulls it out of your reach.
“What time is it?” You ask, rubbing your eyes.
“8:00”
“What the hell—“
“It’s Belly’s birthday, we gotta decorate the kitchen before she wakes up.” He explains, throwing the pillow back onto your bed.
It was her birthday? Shoot, why didn’t anybody tell you? You would’ve gotten her a gift, you know you just met her and all but still.
“I’ll be down in a bit.” You mumble, shoving your face back into your pillow.
Maybe you could get her a gift later? What does she even like?
“Okay, make sure to brush your teeth… I can smell your breath all the way from over here.” He exaggerates, jokingly grimacing as he plugs his nose.
“Shut up!”
And before you knew it, you were back asleep. You were exhausted from the night before. After Belly joined in on your guys’ movie marathon, she shortly fell asleep and whenever you would close your eyes for longer than 5 seconds, Jeremiah would be the one to poke you, waking you up. It wasn’t until after the movies were over, Jeremiah woke Belly up and the two didn’t even have a chance to leave before you were passed out.
You rubbed your eyes hastily, jumping out of bed after you heard the multiple “heys” coming from downstairs.
Grabbing the first shirt and shorts you saw, you sped walk downstairs, following the voices.
“….Conrad, uh, do you wanna give Belly your present?” You hear Susannah ask.
It’s quiet for a few moments, before Conrad responds, “Sorry… I forgot.”
Nobody noticed you yet as you watch the side of Belly’s face fall, a small frown on her lips.
An awkward pause of silence washes over before Belly quickly recovers, “Oh. That’s cool— I wasn’t really expecting anything anyways.”
Another awkward pause happens until your mom spots you. “Ah, there’s Y/N!”
You watch as all eyes fall on you, your mom getting up from her spot on the couch and making her way to you. She pulls out a small box from her front pocket, giving it to you. She mouths the words; “We’ll talk later”
You give her a tight lipped smile, before she makes her way back to her spot. You follow quickly, giving the box to Belly as you say “Happy Birthday.”
Belly sends you an appreciative smile, “Aw, Y/N. You really didn’t have to get me anything.”
“Pfttt, of course I did.” You say, watching as she opened the box. It was a pair of earrings along with a necklace. Her smile widens, “Thank you!”
Conrad makes an excuse, before exiting the room as Belly smiles once falls again.
“Hey, why don’t we practice driving before we have to go pick up Taylor from the bus station?” You hear Jeremiah say.
Who the hell is Taylor?
-
“I can’t believe you would sleep in like that!” Your mom lectures you after pretty much everybody left the house. Jeremiah invited you to go witness “Belly’s terrible driving skills” but you mom quickly shot him down.
“I didn’t know—“ You start, uncomfortably sitting at the edge of her bed.
“Really? Because didn’t Jeremiah wake you up?”
“Well, yeah—“
“Jesus, Y/N. Why are you acting like this? I didn’t raise you—
“Oh, I don’t know! Maybe because you’re forcing me to stay here when I can stay with Dad!” You interrupt.
Before your mom could even get a chance to go off at you, a knock on the door stops her. She exhales before opening the door.
Susannah stands there with a smile on her face, “Hey, I was wondering if I can take Y/N out for shopping? I need to get some stuff for tonights dinner, It would be a great time to get to know her better.”
Your mom stays quiet for a moment before nodding, “Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fun.”
You follow Susannah outside to her car, silent as you sat in the front seat. You put your seatbelt on before you realize that Susannah wasn’t making any move to put hers on.
“Y/N, look, I know how it must feel to be staying at some random strangers house. But, I’ve known your mom for a while. And she has her reasons, okay?” She tries to explain, staring at you with a look of empathy on her face.
You bite your tongue, trying to stop yourself from saying anything rude. You appreciated Susannah letting you stay here, she was nice, had amazing sons, well one of them at least, and she was an overall sweet person. It was just… you missed home. You missed your friends, you missed your dad, and it feels weird being here. You feel out of place, like an intruder. Everybody knows everybody but you.
“I just wanna go home.” You mumble, leaning your head against the car door.
She stays silent for a moment. “… Okay, how bout we make a deal?”
This perks your interest as you lift your head to look at her.
“If you still wanna go home by the end of this week, I’ll talk to your mom and see about flying you home.”
Your eyes widen, “Wait really? You’d do that?”
“Yes, but only if your mom is on board. Just try to stay on your mom’s good side until then?” She suggests, sending you a wink causing you to laugh.
“Okay, okay, deal.” You say, trying your hardest not to smile from ear to ear.
She starts the car, “I actually need stuff for Belly’s birthday dinner tonight but we can stop for some pies and eat them in the car. Just don’t tell anybody.”
-
By the time you’re back at the house, you notice Jeremiah’s red jeep back in the driveway. You felt fat and full after splitting a pecan pie with Susannah and just wanted to sleep it off.
You helped get the groceries out of the car, setting them inside on the counter. Your mom was nowhere to be found, thank god so you didn’t have to continue the lecture from earlier… at least for now.
As you were about to grab the last bag, you spot Conrad and his girlfriend, whatever her name is, walking to the backyard.
Oh god were they about to make out in the pool or what? Why’d he even bring her? It’s Belly’s birthday and he just brought his girlfriend over like they weren’t arguing a few days ago? Pathetic.
“Do you need help with putting these away?” You offer Susannah once your back inside, she shoos you away, claiming you should go hang out with the rest of the kids.
You shoot her a appreciative smile, your arms sore from carrying all those bags as you went from store to store.
Opening the sliding door, the first people you notice are Conrad and his girlfriend sitting on the edge, and the next thing is a net with a volleyball flying over it.
“Hey, Y/N! You’re back!” You hear Belly shout, Conrad and his girlfriend both turn to look at you but you ignore them as you make your way closer to the pool.
“Hey.” You say. You finally notice the new face next to her, a dirty blonde in a teal bikini. And you definitely don't miss the dirty look she sends you.
She waits a few moments, hoping her friend in the bikini would introduce herself but she doesn’t make any effort, still looking at you like you were gum on the bottom of her shoe.
Belly nervously laughs, “Y/N, this is my best friend Taylor. Taylor, this is Y/N. You know the one I was telling you about on the phone?”
“Oh yeah.” Taylor says, forcing a smile your way.
What the hell was her problem?
“Join us! Steven can sit out—“ Jeremiah starts, throwing the ball up in the air but catching it.
“No, no, I never agreed to that!” Steven argues, Jeremiah spins around and guessing by the look on his face or something he said that you couldn’t hear Steven groans before giving in.
“Actually we were about to go to the beach, right Belly?” Taylor speaks.
“Uh, yeah.. Y/N do you want to come?” Belly asks, looking away from her friend to look at you.
Telling by the annoyed look on Taylors face and the way she’s been looking at you, you can tell she doesn’t want you there. Or anywhere around her for that matter.
“No thanks, I’m pretty tired from shopping.” You tried to joke, chuckling to yourself.
“How could you be tired if you slept in this morning?” Taylor quips, shooting you a glare. Belly turns around to shoot her one, causing Taylor to shrug.
“Haha, yeah…” You mumble, scratching your arm. Oh god, the end of the week couldn’t come any faster.
Belly gives you an empathic look, or you think she did, you were too busy staring at your feet.
You didn’t want to go back inside because you didn’t want to seem like coward but you also didn’t want to stay if you weren’t wanted.
Jeremiah was quick to notice your awkwardness, telling you that you could dip your legs into the water on his side and so that’s what you did. Sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling your legs in the water and most important of all, sitting far far away from Taylor.
Instead of Belly and Taylor going to the beach like Taylor said they would, they play a few more rounds of volleyball until Taylor hit Conrad’s girlfriend in the face causing her and Conrad to go inside.
And soon Steven left because his girlfriend called him, causing him to almost drop his phone in the water, and because it was just Jeremiah vs. Belly and Taylor they finally decided to go to the beach.
“Hey, y’know Belly doesn’t care you slept in right?” Jeremiah says, splashing water at you. He swims closer to you, pulling himself out of the pool to sit on the edge next to you.
You roll your eyes, “Her friend does.”
“Taylor? Yeah, she’s a little cray cray.” He says, motioning it with his finger.
You laugh, shaking your head. “How long is she staying?”
“Just a few days, then we’ll be Taylor free for the rest of summer.”
The rest of summer.
“You should get in.” He says, elbowing your side.
“I don’t have a bathing suit.”
He stays silent for a moment, “So?” He pushes you into the water, your body submerging into the cold water as you shoot up coughing.
You can hear him laughing, while you’re basically choking on the chlorine filled water. “You jerk! I didn’t want to get my clothes wet!”
“You can still take them off.” He suggests, watching as you slicked your hair back.
You shoot him a playful glare, “In your dreams.”
“Every dream since I’ve met you.”
You splash him with water, “You’re stupid.”
He stares at you for a moment before tackling you under water, pulling you back up with his arm around your waist. “What’d you say?”
You wipe your eyes, trying to shove him off you but no budge. Your guys’ faces were even closer, your breath hitched. What was gonna happen?
He made eye contact with you a few times, and the times he wasn’t doing that he was staring at your lips. He started leaning in, closer and closer to the point where your noses were almost touching.
You felt like you couldn’t even breathe.
Did you even want this?
And just as he was about to move closer you shoved him away, taking him by surprise.
He backs away quickly, eyes widening.
“S-sorry.. I just… I just don’t really know you.” You say, scratching the back of your neck.
“No, yeah, yeah I shouldn’t have done that. You don’t have to apologize.” He says, eyes still as round as saucers.
“Uhrm… yeah…” You mumble, crossing your arms around yourself as you suddenly felt cold even though you were used to the water.
What a way to kill a mood. Why’d you even do that, damnit.
He nods, placing his lips into a tight line. “I’m gonna…” He closes his mouth, pointing to the house while backing up.
“Okay.” You say, nodding.
You watch him turn around, pull himself out of the water and grab a towel before he quickly goes inside
Leaving you in the pool alone as you stared at the spot he was just at.
Taglist: @mindflay3r @lexi-2004 @buckys2thicc @agoodmansaid @jeremiahfisherslover @yourfavoritefangirl @leslienjazzy @natsgaygf @justkayleighhere @puptails @simp4jackharlow @yobabygirlally @whenmypartysover @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @medusaslilsister @maexxc @siriuslysmoking @nowimyurdaisy @totallynotkaibiased @eevee0722 @theyallhaveluv4lyricb @wh0reforstefansalvatore @pariahsparadise
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srslyscary · 2 months
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Late Night Calls
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contents/warnings: SFW, reader is written as she/her, slightly ooc, lowercase intended
including: felix x reader
note: inspired by “late night calls” by p1harmony. lately I haven’t been able to stop listening to that song, it’s really beautiful. seob’s part in it too is SO addicting. this was really last minute because I’ve been wanting to update but I recently started an 8hr nonstop shift, and I’ll be keeping that shift till next Friday. I hope you enjoy!
“Our secret late night calls. Dreamlike, beautiful sound of you and me.”
_
felix sat on the edge of his hotel bed, the afternoon sun streaming through the partially drawn curtains. his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, and his fingers danced nervously over the screen of his phone. he took a deep breath, feeling the familiar flutter of excitement and nerves that always accompanied the prospect of hearing her voice. with a glance at the clock, he realized that back home, YN would just be winding down for the night.
fifteen hours. the time difference was brutal, but they'd found ways to make it work. their relationship was partly built on these late-night calls, stolen moments of connection amidst the chaos of touring. felix smiled, thinking about the countless nights they'd spent talking until the first light of dawn.
he swiped his phone screen and tapped on her contact, his heart skipping a beat as it started to ring. on the third ring, she picked up.
“hey, lix,” YN's voice was soft, a little sleepy, but full of warmth.
“hey, love,” felix replied, a wide smile spreading across his face. “oh- wait did I wake you?”
“no no, I was just lying here. how’s the tour going?”
felix leaned back against the headboard, picturing her lying in her bed, surrounded by pillows. “it’s going great. we had an amazing show today. STAYS were incredible. but I miss you.”
“i miss you too,” YN said, her voice tinged with longing. “it’s always hardest at night when you're not here.”
“i know, angel. I feel the same way. but these late-night calls, they keep me going. they remind me why I’m doing all this.”
YN laughed softly, the sound like a melody to felix’s ears. “you and your sweet words. you always know how to make me smile.”
felix’s heart swelled with affection. “i just speak the truth. how was your day?”
“it was good. busy, but good. i’ve been working on that project we talked about. i can’t wait for you to see it.”
“i can’t wait either. everything you do is amazing.”
they fell into a comfortable rhythm, talking about their days, sharing stories and little moments. felix loved these conversations, the way they could make him feel close to her even when they were thousands of miles apart.
after a while, felix heard YN stifle a yawn. “you’re tired, aren’t you?”
“a little,” she admitted. “but I don’t want to hang up yet.”
“stay with me, then,” felix said softly. “even if you fall asleep, just stay with me.”
“i’d like that.”
felix shifted on the bed, making himself more comfortable. “do you ever think about the future? I mean.. with us.”
“of course I do. why wouldn’t I silly?”
“not sure.. I guess that was a weird question.” felix said, his voice taking on a dreamy quality. “i was thinking about the future, what it means for us.”
“and what do you think it means?” YN replied. “i’m curious cutie.”
“i don’t know what it means, that’s why I asked angel.“ felix laughed slightly, sighing after breathing in.
“sorry sorry,” YN said, her voice barely above a whisper. “you know.. your voice is my favorite sound.”
“really?” he took a second to think, smiling to himself. “of course, it brings me comfort in so many ways you probably wouldn’t know.”
felix smiled again, not saying much. they fell into a comfortable silence, each lost in their thoughts, connected by the invisible thread of their love. after a while, felix spoke again.
“do you want me to sing for you?”
“yes, please. i’d actually really love that.” YN said, her voice filled with anticipation.
felix cleared his throat, closing his eyes as he began to sing. his voice was soft and tender, filled with emotion.
YN sighed contentedly. “you always know how to make everything better.”
felix smiled, feeling a sense of peace wash over him. “that’s my goal, to always make you happy.”
“you do, love. you always do.”
they talked for a little while longer, their conversation growing quieter as YN's eyelids grew heavier. felix could hear her breathing becoming more even, a sure sign that she was drifting off to sleep.
“goodnight, angel,” felix whispered, his voice filled with tenderness.
“‘night, lix. I love you.”
“I love you way more.”
felix stayed on the line, listening to her gentle breathing, feeling a sense of contentment wash over him. these moments, these late-night calls, were the lifeline of their relationship, the threads that kept them connected despite the miles and time zones that separated them.
as he lay back on his bed, felix thought about the future. he knew that one day, they’d have more time together. but until then, he would cherish these calls, these stolen moments of intimacy that made everything worthwhile.
_
“Late night calls, so sweet. Just tell me you love me.”
80 notes · View notes
crazykitsch · 8 months
Note
Can you do a jealous Fermin one pls, it starts a little angsty but ends in fluff 🙏🏻 I’ll leave it to your imagination
Fermin Lopez: you & me
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pairing: fermin lopez x reader
warnings: none
❝I don't care about your first love. This should be your last one. Nothing like your last one. You look better on me, that's fashion.❞
I am not the jealous type. Atleast.. I like to think i’m not, others might disagree.
However my boyfriend, Fermin, sure does know how to make me jealous. I know he doesn’t do it on purpose, but it does sometimes (always) get to me when I see him and his ex girlfriend Valerie (who was also his first girlfriend). They broke up about 1,5 year ago and still remained friends.
I honestly just don’t get it, whats her deal? Me and Fermin are perfect for eachother and look great together. No need for her to butt in.
Right now we’re at Lewandowski’s house for a lunch for all Barca players and their girlfriends. Somehow Valerie is here since Pedri is single and he’s good friends with her so he invited her.
Im sitting next to Fermin and right next to him is, ofcourse, Valerie.
I AM a girls girl but I really do fucking hate her, sorry. I feel like she knows whats shes doing and how to get on my nerves. Should I name an example? Right now she is ‘talking’ with Fermin. Any person who doesn’t know them would definitely assume they’re a couple. But they’re not. I am sitting here, talking to no one, while being on my phone just scrolling on Instagram, I don’t know what to do.
I suddenly hear an annoying voice giggle so I immediately look at Valerie. I see her and Fermin laughing together at God knows what and she leans towards his shoulder and rests her head there. What the fuck. Now i’ve seriously had enough of her bullshit. How does Fermin not notice she’s still into him?
I sit here for a minute thinking of all the things I wanna do to her AND him. I decide to not do anything right now and instead I get up and go to Robert Lewandowski, I say goodbye to him and a few of my friends here and grab my jacket. Fermin has the car keys but I do not feel like talking to him so I just walk home. It is a 30 minute walk and as im walking I start to think about everything. I suddenly start crying and text my friend
~
PRIVATE CHAT: lola <3 & y/n 🎀
y/n 🎀:
lola?
lola
lola
please answer
lola <3:
hi
hi
hi
whats wrong bb
y/n 🎀:
im literally so fucking done
are you home?
walking in your street
lola <3:
walking ??
y/n come over now
~
My tears have stopped and I knocked on Lola’s door. She opens it very quickly and lets me in. ‘Y/n what happened?’ she says and I can’t help but cry again. It might seem dumb to other people but I just really don’t like it when others try to take what belongs to me. ‘Lunch at Lewandowski’s, fucking Valerie getting on my nerves again, Fermin doing nothing.’ I say. We walk into her living room and sit on her couch. She hugs me as she says ‘Boys are really stupid, you know? Especially Fermin. He has such a pretty, smart, amazing girlfriend.’ I don’t know what to say so I just nod and hug her. ‘Do you want to spend the night?’ she asks and I nod again.
We just sit there watching tv and i’ve calmed down a bit. Right now it’s almost dinner time so we decide to cook pasta together. During dinner I suddenly remember I haven’t updated Fermin at all..
‘Do you think I need to text Fermin? I didn’t tell him where exactly I was going.’ I asked, I know I probably should but I don’t know if im ready for an argument. ‘If you’re ready for that you should.’ Lola says. I take a minute to think about it and say ‘I’ll do it tonight.’
It’s currently 8pm and me and Lola are on the couch watching a movie. We’re both so tired that after an hour we accidentally fall asleep. Stupid. I know.
I wake up the next morning and see that it’s 6am. I wake up Lola and say ‘Did I text Fermin? Or did I forget?’ okay now i’m really stressed. ‘Ehm.. I dont know, I think you didn’t’. ‘Fuck!’ I grab my phone and the first thing I see are all his notifications..
~
PRIVATE CHAT: fermin 🩷 & y/n ❤️
fermin 🩷:
where did you go to?
is it because of Val?
fermin 🩷:
just got home, where are you?
fermin 🩷:
im worried
fermin 🩷:
okay youre not funny anymore
where are you
fermin 🩷:
come home now y/n
fermin 🩷:
its midnight. please come home
fermin 🩷:
alright i’ll take it as a sign youre not coming home
~
Oh my god. I’m so stupid??? I show Lola the texts and she tells me to hurry and go home so I do.
She gives me a ride to my house and right now im standing in front of our door. I hesitate for a second but then I knock and I see Fermin standing there. Before I can even figure out what to do or say he pulls me into a hug and says ‘I’m so grateful you’re okay dont do that again please.’ I don’t know how to react. What I did WAS a bit wrong, but he’s not innocent either. Should I mention that i’m still mad? Or should I just let it slide? But if I let it slide Valerie will only get more and more touchy and comfortable with him..
‘Fermin?’ I say as I pull out of the hug. ‘I left yesterday because i’m so fucking tired of you and Valerie. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but that girl is still into you. She knows exactly how she can get on my nerves and she never fails to do so. I don’t want to be that girl to make you pick sides but I would really appreciate it if you, my boyfriend, would see how she’s acting and tell her to stop.’
I can tell he doesn’t really know what to say. Before I can say something he says ‘Y/n Valerie is a friend of mine, nothing more. If she really does bother you i’ll break all contact with her right now because I don’t want you to go away anymore.’ I see him grabbing his phone and I can see he’s removing her number and unfollowing her on everything. I mumble a little ‘Thank you’ and he says ‘If you feel like that again please just tell me and if i deny it keep telling me, alright?’ I nod yes and hug him again.
It’s now a few hours later, 11 pm, and Fermin needs to go to Ciutat Esportiva Joan Camper for football training. ‘Y/n do you want to come along? Your support brings luck.’ he says and I smile and nod yes.
When we arrive there I see my friend Mikky and sit next to her. All of a sudden she says ‘How are things between you, Fermin.. and Valerie?’ I laugh and say ‘Me and Fermin are good now, Valerie is still the same bitch she was before.’ We both laugh while we sit there watching our boyfriends train.
After training, which took them like 3 hours we go home. He says he’s all sore and hurt but im pretty sure he’s just saying that so we can cuddle which I dont mind. I’m sitting on the couch as he lays on top of me.
‘Was fun watching you train today.’ I say as I start playing with his hair, ‘You were talking with Mikky the entire time though.’ he says. I kiss his head as I say ‘Needed to catch up.’ I can hear him hum and notice he’s been getting a bit more tired. I turn on the tv to watch my favorite show and notice Fermin has fallen asleep. I smile and kiss him one more time before fully concentrating on the show.
A/n: I’m soooo sorry this took longer than expected. I’ll try my best to work on more requests today!!
188 notes · View notes
mcflymemes · 1 year
Text
PROMPTS FOR THE MOST ROMANTIC THINGS TO SAY *  updated version, adjust as necessary
you should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.
you are my dearest one. my reason for life.
until my last day, i'll be loving you.
kiss me. kiss me as if it were the last time.
love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs.
i was swallowed up in an abyss of love in an instant.
you are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.
you are sunlight through a window, which i stand in, warmed.
you are beautiful without knowing it.
anyone who has seen your smile has known perfection.
every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own.
i became fascinated by your goodness. i was drawn in by it.
all i want is to deserve you. tell me what to do. i’ll do anything you say.
i will return. i will find you. love you. marry you. and live without shame.
it has made me better loving you.
i see you only with my heart.
i would love to say that you make me weak in the knees, but to be quite upfront and completely truthful, you make my body forget it has knees at all.
i've fallen in love. i didn't think such violent things could happen to ordinary people.
we loved with a love that was more than love.
i find myself choosing you, more and more every day.
i can’t sleep, i can’t eat, i can’t do anything but think about you.
we are asleep until we fall in love.
you want the moon? just say the word, and i'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.
i cannot let you burn me up, nor can i resist you.
i believe in you completely.
a hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you.
love is never a waste of time.
when i am gone, my love, do not look for me in the places we used to go together. look for me in the places we always planned to go together.
i’ve hungered for your touch.
you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you.
when you fall in love, it is a temporary madness.
i’ve tried so many times to think of a new way to say it, and it’s still i love you.
my soul and your soul are forever tangled.
in all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. in all the world, there is no love for you like mine.
the first time ever i saw your face, i thought the sun rose in your eyes.
i wish i had done everything on earth with you.
if you remember me, then i don’t care if everyone else forgets.
you are, and always have been, my dream.
i love that you are the last person i want to talk to before i go to sleep at night.
come near now, and kiss me.
when will i hold you again?
it’s always better when we’re together.
you were the only thing in my life that was real.
in your smile i see something more beautiful than the stars.
when i saw you i fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.
you complete me.
i wanted it to be you. i wanted it to be you so badly.
i think i’d miss you even if we never met.
love is a friendship set to music.
i never want to stop making memories with you.
every time i see you, i fall in love all over again.
do i love you? my god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.
we kiss like we invented it.
i can’t smile without you.
now you're my whole life. now you're my whole world.
you're every minute of my every day.
maybe it's our imperfections that make us so perfect for one another.
i can't see anything i don't like about you.
583 notes · View notes
bearr02 · 11 months
Text
Safe and sound |Chapter Ten|
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Pairing: Hybrid!ot7 x f!reader
Chapter warnings: maybe a bit angsty, Kook cries, plus this chapter is unedited so like idk if it will be good 🙃
Summary: You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.
Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, non-idol au, hybrid au, strangers to friends to lovers au
Word count: 1.9k
Member’s hybrid types: Namjoon: Bear, Yoongi: Bobcat, Hoseok: Ferret, Jin: Wolf, Jimin: Red panda, Jungkook: Bunny, Taehyung: Marble fox
A/n: so like yeah, sorry this took so long from my last update but I at least got it out so that’s good
I’ve just been pretty busy and haven’t had time to myself to sit down and write for a bit beside a few words here and there
I know I got a teaser out but that was an idea I couldn’t pass up (same with that story idea) and like I didn’t wanna forget it, so I put my things to the side for a minute to do those so yeah
Last - Next - Masterlist
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It took Jungkook a while to calm down, but he eventually did. He eventually fell asleep on you, the exhaustion of crying catching up to him. “Do you want me to move him?” Hoseok asks, sitting on the bed beside you and Jungkook. “Please.” You whine, your bladder painfully full. Hoseok chuckles, sliding his arms between yours and Jungkook’s body’s, lifting the hybrid from you, laying him on the bed. You almost cry out in relief, pushing yourself off your bed to rush to the bathroom.
You shut the door behind you with a content sigh, Hoseok laughing at your state. “I’m guessing you really had to pee?” He asks through his laugh. You nod, walking over to the bed before falling fast first on it beside Hoseok. “Will..Kook be okay?” You ask, turning your head toward Hoseok. “He should be.” Hoseok mumbles with a nod, carding his fingers through said hybrid's hair. “I think he’ll be better now that we’re with you. Safe.” Hoseok mumbles.
You smile, “Good.” You mumble, shuffling up to lay your head on your pillow, flipping onto your back.
“‘M gonna go to sleep.” You say with a sigh, snuggling up to Hoseok as your eyes slide shut. “Sleep tight, Y/n.” Hoseok mumbles, wrapping an arm around you as he gets comfortable.
Before you know it, you're drifting off to the sound of Hoseok's steady heartbeat.
You groan, reaching up to hold your pillow in place. But what you grab isn’t your pillow. You crack your eyes open, looking up to see Jungkook’s face, eyes closed as he dreams. You shrug slightly, wrapping your arms around his body, snuggling into him before drifting back to sleep.
This time, when you wake up, it’s because of your alarm. You whine, reaching over to turn it off. “Y/n?” Jungkook grumbles, shifting beneath you. “Sorry, Koo, didn’t mean to wake you. I gotta head into work.” You say, pushing yourself off his chest. “Work?” Hoseok grumbles, sitting up on the other side of Jungkook. You hum, getting out of bed while stretching. “You just got hurt yesterday, Y/n. You’re not going into work.” Hoseok says, voice groggy with sleep. “I’ll be fine.” You say, making your way to your closet to grab clothes.
“I don’t trust you.” Hoseok mumbles, rubbing his eyes. You shake your head with a smile, “I’ll be fine, Hobi.” You say, shuffling through your shirts.
You grab a plain, white knit sweater and baggy jeans, walking out of your closet. “Do you have to go?” Jungkook asks through a whine, now sitting on the edge of your bed. “I’m sorry, Koo, but I do.” You say, ruffling his hair on your way to your bathroom. “But why? Can’t you take a day off? They know you got hurt!” Jungkook whines, wiggling on the bed as he speaks making you smile. “I’ll be fine, if they send me home I’ll come back, okay?” You say, walking back over to cup his face in your hands.
He pouts up at you, his arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you close enough for him to nuzzle into your stomach. “Just stay..please?” Jungkook whispers, a small whine escaping him as he presses himself impossibly closer. “I can’t Bun, I’m sorry.” You say, carding your finger through his hair. Jungkook whines.
Then you feel something wet seep through your sweater onto your stomach.
“Kook?” You call out, trying to pull his head away from your stomach. He fights you with another whine, shaking his head. “Don’t wan’ you to leave.” Jungkook whispers.
You sigh, moving to kneel on the floor. Jungkook whines louder at the movement, trying to keep you upright. He fails in the end, covering his eyes with his ears. “Bun I’m sorry, I promise I’ll be back before you know it.” You whisper, carding your hand through his hair to the best of your ability. “Please stay.” He whispers, a small whimper escaping him. You sigh, mumbling a small ‘okay’ before you stand up, kissing the top of his head before picking your phone up from the nightstand. You scroll through your contacts until you find Mr. Duboses.
“Thank you.” Jungkook whispers, hugging you from behind. You hum, patting his arm with a smile.
Mr. Dubose didn’t fight you on wanting to call out, saying it was for the best incase you had any issues. Jungkook was elated that you called out for him, snuggling up to you as soon as you laid back down. Hoseok was happy as well, saying you shouldn’t be going into work anyway, and that it’s best you called out. He was pretty much already asleep when you laid back down, missing out on the cuddle session Jungkook started.
“Thank you for staying home.” Jungkook mumbles for the hundredth time, scenting your shoulder. You hum, carding your fingers through his hair as you scroll through TikTok. “Really.” Jungkook mumbles again, “I was just worried about you.” He whispers. You frown when you feel something wet hit your shoulder. “Bun?” You call out, leaning your head on Jungkook’s.
He whimpers, pushing himself closer to you. He mumbles something you can’t quite pick up, his lips moving against your neck the only proof he said something. “I can’t hear you, Koo.” You say, trying to move his head from your neck. He whines but moves back, ears shielding his eyes. “Didn’t wan’ something to happen to you.” He admits in a whisper, before a huff of air escapes him and he frustratedly wipes his eyes. “‘M sorry, I dunno why ‘m crying.” He says through a scoff, sitting back on his heels.
“Kook, no. You’re fine. If you cry, you cry. You can’t control that.” You say, sitting up as well. “But I can.” He insists, sobbing into his hands. You frown, pulling him back into your arms. He goes limp against you, hiding his face in your neck. “Jungkook?” Hoseok's groggy voice asks, sitting up in bed as he rubs his eyes. He only gets a whimper in response from Jungkook. “‘S he okay?” Hoseok asks, scooting closer. “I don’t know.” You say through a sigh, leaning your head onto Jungkook’s.
“Jungkook?” Hoseok calls, running his hand through Jungkook’s hair. “What’s the matter, Bun?” Hoseok asks, trying to pull him away from your body. He fights Hoseok with a whimper, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Bun, can you tell me what’s wrong?” Hoseok asks, his brows furrowing in concern as he runs his fingers through Jungkook’s hair again. “‘M weak.” Jungkook whimpers, moving his head so you and Hoseok can hear him clearer.
You look at Hoseok with furrowed brows, “You’re not weak, Bun.” You say, kissing the side of Jungkook’s head. Jungkook shakes his head, mumbling a small “I am” into your neck. “For crying? Bun, everyone cries. Even the toughest people cry.” You say. Jungkook pulls his head back to look at you. “Really?” He asks, sniffling. “Really.” You say, smiling at him reassuringly. He nods, wiping his runny nose with the back of his hand. “Thank you.” Jungkook mumbles, looking at you through teary eyes. “For what?” You ask, carding your hands through his hair. “Comforting me.” He says, looking down as he nervously plays with his hands. “You don’t need to thank me for that, Bun.” You say with a smile, ruffling his hair making him whine, batting away your hand with a small, shy giggle.
Hoseok smiles at the interaction, leaning back on his hands.
After the situation with Jungkook passed fully, no more tears slipping from his eyes and no more sniffles, you offered to run him a bath in hopes it will make him feel a bit better.
“I think Jungkook is happier here with you.” Hoseok says, leaning on the counter as he watches you make breakfast. “Really?” You ask, glancing behind you at Hoseok with a smile. “Yeah. I haven’t seen him smile as much in the last few years as he has the past day.” He says, smiling. “That’s good to hear. He was starting to worry me. I wanna make that man who had you before suffer. In more ways than one.” You say, a huff of air escaping your lips as you pout angrily.
“At least we have you. We thought we’d be stuck with that dickhead forever.” Hoseok says, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. “True.” You mumble, leaning your head against his. “I’m happy we found you. We missed you so much.” Hoseok mumbles, scenting your shoulder lightly. “I am too.” You say, a smile appearing on your lips.
“I smell food.” Jungkook says, walking down the hallway. You laugh, shaking your head as you flip over the pancake. “I swear you’re always summoned by the smell of food.” You say, glancing at Jungkook. He whines, pouting at you as he comes closer, holding his brace in his free hand. “Can you help me? I dunno how to get this on..” He asks, holding it out in front of him. You hum, making sure to shuffle you and Hoseok a bit away from the stove before turning to Jungkook. You take the brace from him, gently taking his injured arm in your hand, slowly pushing it into the brace.
You gently pat his uninjured arm once you have it on, turning to continue to make breakfast.
“Thank you, Y/nie.” Jungkook says through his pancake-full mouth. You hum, popping a piece of your own pancake into your mouth. “This is really good.” Hoseok says, practically stuffing his face. “Thank you.” You say with a smile, popping a blueberry into your mouth. “What do you say we go shopping today? You guys are gonna need clothes and necessities.” You say, looking up at Jungkook and Hoseok. “You don’t have to buy us anything, we can always try and go look around for clothes.” Hoseok says nonchalantly, shrugging. Your brows furrow, “What do you mean? Of course I’m gonna buy you both clothes.” You say, looking between the two.
“We’re used to scavenging for clothes, it won’t be anything new.” Hoseok mumbles, poking at his food. “Yeah but you’re with me now. And I have enough money to get you guys things before you even say anything about that.” You say, noticing the look on their faces. “You don’t have to.” Jungkook mumbles, poking at his food as well. “But I want to. You’re my boys now and I gotta take care of you.” You say, missing the blush that dusts both of their cheeks as you look back at your food to cut a piece off.
“We’re older than you though, if anything we should take care of you.” Hoseok says, looking up at you. “Yeah yeah, but as much as it fucking sucks, I get more rights. Besides, Kook is still a baby in my eyes.” You say with a shrug, looking back up at the two hybrids across from you. “Hey. I’m 3 years older than you.” Jungkook whines with a pout. “2 and a few months.” You say cheekily, smiling at him. He grumbles a ‘whatever’ as he goes back to eating his food. “You’re still a baby in my eyes too, Kook.” Hoseok says, continuing to eat his pancakes.
Jungkook whines, “You’re both picking on me!” He says, wiggling in his seat as he speaks, making both you and Hoseok laugh. “Nah, we’re just agreeing you’re adorable.” You tease, making him whine louder if possible. “I am not.” Jungkook grumbles, pouting. “Sure Kook, sure.” You say with a shake of your head and a smile.
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Last - Next - Masterlist
A/n: I hope this chapter was good, cause like I said it’s unedited so it might be so-so but y’know
Series taglist (open):
@blancflms @dreamerwasfound @pettyandprettyy @watermelon2319 @yoongistangerine @danielle143 @canarystwin @catlove83 @joonie-tunes @staygirl1986 @singukieee
@juju-227592 @bangtan4everr @revnamjinn @anjoellamorte
@jewishmommy @talyaaas-blog @btskzfav
Permanent taglist (open):
@viankiss @lizzymizzy-blogg @teddymoon06 @rln-byg @skyys-universe
If your name is highlighted in bold you could not be tagged!
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Text
The Gates of Jackson | Joel Miller x F!Reader | Chapter 3 - The Cabin
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masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory—all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing—along with their consequences.
previous | next
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.1k
tags: no use of y/n, eventual smut, no beta we die like sarah, jackson era, other additional tags to be added, slow burn, ellie needs a hug, joel lives, good parent joel, reader-insert, reader insert, forced proximity, only one bed trope, nightmares, childbirth, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, soft joel, cuddling & snuggling, fluff, masturbation, pining, joel falls first, possibly demisexual reader (tbd), ptsd, ptsd flashbacks, panic attacks, amnesia, sexual braiding
chapter warnings: canon-typical violence, violence towards children, nightmares
Chapter 3 - The Cabin
By the time you descended the ladder, Joel had everything set up. A clean, if dusty and threadbare, blanket was spread before the fireplace. He’d managed to get the fire going, and while it hadn’t reached a roar, it was plenty hot enough to heat some cans for dinner.
“What are you in the mood for?” Joel asked, gesturing between two cans with a pilfered can opener. “I’ve got alphabet soup or beefy ravioli.”
“Ravioli, please,” you said decisively, taking a seat beside him on the blanket. It took a second of him staring at you expectantly for you to realize he was holding out your selection. You took it and dug in.
“Holy shit,” you nearly moaned, the zing of 20-year-old marinara a delight to tired taste buds.
“That good, huh?” Joel asked. 
You nodded–yeah, it was really that good.
“Maybe Ellie’s onto something,” he chuckled, digging into his own dinner. You cocked an eyebrow. He elaborated, “She’s big on Chef Boyardee, too. Who knew he’d have so many fans in the apocalypse?”
“I don’t know,” you joked. “Fungal pandemics come and go, but pasta is forever.”
He laughed mid-chew, snorting so effusively a J-shaped piece of pasta landed at your feet.
“Huh,” you said. “J for Joel.”
You ate the rest of your food in relative silence, the levity of the first few bites subsiding once you realized how hungry you truly were.
A few minutes later, you set your empty can on the hearth with a clatter. “I’m gonna turn in.”
Joel nodded. “I’ll take first watch. Good night, Doe.”
“Night, Joel.”
Upon further inspection, the puke-covered couch appeared to convert into a mostly unscathed bed. It felt almost wrong to tuck yourself beneath such cozy bedding in your filthy patrol clothes. Especially since you had to be ready to spring into action at any moment, which meant your shoes stayed on too. But it’s not like there were other options. You lay your head atop the impossibly fluffy pillow, and let your eyes fall shut. Before you knew it, you were asleep.
* * *
You only ever saw Steffy in your dreams anymore. Your baby sister had been there for the collapse of the Salt Lake City QZ, escaping alongside you. But somewhere between fleeing and finding yourself at the gates of Jackson, you’d lost her. You’re not sure what happened exactly, but the dread in the pit of your stomach left no room for wondering: Steffy was dead.
She was alive right now, though. You were little again, sitting on the terracotta tiles of your Aunt Suzie’s back porch. It was summer, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves of the magnolia tree above you.
While the adults grilled, you and Steffy had a tea party. All the best dolls were invited, teddy bears too. Even Steffy’s favorite, a bedraggled rat plushie named Ratty.
“Ratty wants Earl Grey,” Steffy said, holding out a tiny teacup and saucer.
“Why, of course,” you replied in a bad British accent, pretending to pour him a cup.
Steffy made Ratty drink the whole cup in one gulp. “Dee-licious.”
You giggled. She giggled. It was contagious, the two of you devolving into downright guffaws when you noticed the adults’ chatter had stopped. Looking over your sister’s shoulder, your face fell.
“What’s wrong?” Steffy asked with a tilt of her head.
You wanted to tell her to run. You wanted to tell her to get behind you, that something was wrong. But you were frozen. 
That’s when the clicker sunk its teeth into her neck.
You woke with a start, flailing wildly, arm connecting with something hard, something that let out an ‘oof’ in response. Joel. You had hit Joel. Based on the proximity, you guessed he was trying to wake you.
“Sorry,” you panted, heart still racing from your dream. “Time for my watch?”
“No,” you could barely make out the shake of his head against what was left of the dying firelight. “It’s only been a couple hours. You were flailin’ about, looked like you were having a nightmare.”
“Oh,” you said. “Thank you. I’m fine now.”
“If you’re sure,” he said. “I’m here, y’know. If you want to… talk about it, or anything.”
You were still shaky. Your heart was still going so fast. But you weren’t about to discuss your dead sister with Joel Miller.
“I’m fine.” You doubled down, softer than you meant to.
“Okay,” he backed off, returning to his spot leaned up against the fireplace, eyes on the door.
Minutes passed, and your heart was still racing. Your hand throbbed, and you wondered how hard you’d hit Joel. Hopefully not hard enough to leave a mark.
“I’m sorry I hit you,” you said softly through the darkness.
“It’s fine, Doe. You were dreaming.”
You hated the way he brushed away your concerns, the way he gave you grace. In your experience, people rarely let others off the hook, not really. There was always some resentment that lingered.
If you were going to owe him, you might as well really owe him.
“Joel?” you asked.
“Hm?”
“I can’t sleep,” you confessed.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do about that.”
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself to ask for what you wanted. “Will you cuddle with me? It’s not you, it’s just…I need another person. We’re safe here, we don’t need a watch, not really. And I need you.”
“Thought you said it wasn’t personal.”
“It’s not,” you bristled. “But I thought it would be nice.”
“Never said it wouldn’t be, sweetheart.”
You lay there expectantly for what felt like ages. Then, finally, you heard the squeak of old floorboards under his boots, and felt the squish of the mattress as he climbed onto it beside you. You found a position easily, one arm beneath your head, his other loosely draped across your waist.
Your heart slowed marginally, but your breathing remained fast and light.
“Relax, sweetheart. You gotta breathe.”
“I can’t–” you started. He cut you off with a hand to your stomach.
“You can.” He pulled you back against him gently, not so tight you were crushed, but just enough for you to feel the expanding and contracting of his own breath against your back. “Breathe with me, alright?”
You nodded with a shuddering breath. He tapped your stomach lightly with his thumb. You matched his inhale, breathing deeply and resenting the fact that this shit works every goddamn time. Within a few minutes, you were calm. Or as calm as you were going to get, anyway.
“I get them too, you know,” Joel admitted.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You were still pulled close against him, neither of you having made a move to scramble apart once your breathing returned to normal. At his admission, you relaxed into him fully, taking his free hand in yours.
Before you knew it, you were asleep once more, dreamless and deep, held safe and secure in the warmth of Joel’s embrace.
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callmeklair · 18 days
Text
declaration
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[A/N: I know this chapter is short, only around 2k words, but I promise next one will be longer and updated as soon as possible as my schedule is almost stabilized now]
Chapter seven
“I’d rather not know.”
“so this is where you guys are. such a drag.” 
Yui has never been happier in her life until now to see Shu. what a right timing! 
“Shu-san!” yes she was very happy. 
“drop it, you guys left me alone to deal with all that troublesome nonsense, I had to use my precious stored energy to wave them off. how are you gonna compensate for it?” Shu glared at them, but too lazy. He really had to go around the circles to dodge those noisy girls. 
“well the girls targeted you, so as you said, just remove the root of the problem, we ran away.” Shin hmphed as he was feeling tired, maybe because he felt relaxed after a really long time. 
“Let's go home Yui, I'm tired. We can buy the dress another day” Shu said as he had enough. It was a long day for him.
“hmm what is that?” Shin ignored Shu and asked Yui, as he pointed at a ice cream van having a poster of ‘new nuts & crunch scoop’ 
the word nuts always attracted him.
“oh… looks like a new flavour of ice cream containing nuts. it looks delicious” Yui answered. 
“of course it will, after all it's nuts. I’ll go get it” Shin ran to the van before his favourite flavour got sold out. 
Yui watched how his strawberry hair bounced as he happily ran away like a child. 
‘Does a wolf eat cereal? That also nut flavoured?’ She peeked at the animal as her eyes softened when she noticed it’s fur color. At first it was dark so she didn’t notice but it’s pink at a near glance. Baby pink? No strawberry pink? No, it's ginger pink, just like Shin. What’s weird is that the wolf also has an eye-patch like him.
Over and over again she has been ignoring the signs. 
Why are founders suddenly quiet? It's been a little while since their last attack.
‘I'd rather not know’
“Let’s go Shu-san” without waiting, she left. 
– Yui's room, Sakamaki mansion:
This is so unfair… just when she was finally happy… or maybe she is just overthinking it. Maybe the founders are planning something big that’s why they suddenly went quiet. 
Yui tremblingly hugged her wolf plushie resembling Shin to ward off all the negative thoughts and fall asleep in this mess.
She thought she’ll at least be at peace in her dreams, but no, she suddenly found herself in school infirmary with the same ringing noise like in those other dreams. But this time there was someone standing in front of her. 
“No need- bother- it’ll be unnec-sary- to return ‘home’ -anymore”
“now- my pro-rty
“Don’t compa- to them- i’m a founde- **i* **u****mi” 
the ringing noise was starting to become louder and the cut off sentences were beginning to disappear. Even the unknown man faded into thin air. 
She was now totally surrounded by darkness, alone, with the ringing noise…. and an inaudible echo.
“Eve.. are y**- rem****ring?” 
– Dungeon, Tsukinami mansion:
Waking up in the dungeon after a long time was not in Shin’s to-do-list after having a good time with Yui.
It was hazy and all he remembers is coming home to his angry brother and ending up in the dungeon. 
“You are finally awake, Shin?” 
Speak of the devil. The word Shin was highlighted coldly and he knew what it meant. Taking a deep breath, he slowly looked up.
“....”
Carla narrowed his eyes and put a hand over his forehead, sweeping the bangs, while looking at his younger brother.
“Over and over again you had enough opportunities to capture her and bring her here, yet you decided not to. Are you waiting for the eclipse to get over?”
Low angry voice. Shin isn't surprised. 
“Nii-san I… I was trying to win her trust so that she won’t be a nuisance initially-”
“It's not needed. Her trust is not needed, she’ll be a nuisance anyways. We bring her here, cleanse her blood and continue our lineage.”
“5 days. I’m giving you 5 days to bring her here before I myself decide to interfere in this troublesome matter.”
Without giving Shin a chance to speak, Carla left the dungeon to let his brother continue his punishment.
5 days… the prom is also in 5 days, what a coincidence or not. His brother is smart enough to know that the prom party will be the perfect time to take her away. The vampires won’t be able to notice immediately among a bunch of students as their senses are weak.
It’s frustrating. Maybe he should have caught her on day one. 
“Thank you Shin-kun for protecting me”
Shin still remembers how she thanked him for protecting her in the dispute with the abusive boy at the rooftop on day one. During the whole tour she was down and numb. Her words were void of emotions when explaining the school layout. It felt off, even though he shouldn’t have cared, it still bothered him. What hell has she been living in with those vampires?
How ironic… that’s what he and his brother were gonna do to her, they were going to put her through the same hell and just like he said previously he shouldn’t have cared about her well being. Their only goal was their lineage.
Empathy doesn’t exist in demons.
but…
“cause… I wanted to be alone with you.” 
The way she blushed from those simple words. Her ears and cheeks red, just like a tomato. It was cute. Every single time they met and were alone, he started to see improvement in her complexion. At first he viewed that as a good point as it’ll be easy to conceive with that healthy body of hers but soon he forgot his own purpose. He just wanted to be with her. It has been so long since he felt genuinely alive. 
But it was all going to end soon.
–Rooftop, Ryoutei Academy:
Unknowingly, the rooftop has become a safe spot for Yui. the cool breeze calmed her as she sat on the floor, hugging her knees and looking at the full red moon. Everybody has their own secret spot and for Yui, it’s the school rooftop. It might not be a secret like other’s spot but it’s her comfort.
This place holds her memories with Shin. 
And right now she is too deep down in the hole she has dug herself. It was from day one. She had a chance, a chance to take Shu’s hand while she fell in the shallow pit, but instead she took the shovel called Shin and kept digging more like an idiot thinking another path will open which will be safer, unknowingly caging herself the deeper she went as the light slowly disappeared above her. And now, the reliable shovel is broken too. 
There was… a cracking noise within her. 
There’s gotta be a fix. Every problem always has a fix. Right?
“What are you doin’ here?” 
Her ears perked up from the voice beside her and she saw Shin sitting beside her in the same way she is.
“J-just enjoying the view” 
Silence befell between them. Unlike previously she didn’t strike up random conversation to waive the awkward air around them. 
Shin glanced at her complexion from side eye and it looked paler. 
“Why are you here?” without even looking at him, she asked. She was too exhausted. 
He hesitated for a moment, his throat feeling dry, like he was scared.
“I came to ask if you want to… bunk the school to go out with me?”
“What?!” His words brought her back to her senses as she looked at him bewildered while he gave his signature smirk.
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simpxxstan · 1 year
Text
the night shift
pairing: idol!jeonghan x caregiver!f.reader
genre: fluff, strangers to lovers, a little bit of angst
summary: it’s such a surprise what just three months of your life can do to you. it can actually change your life.
word count: 10.3k
rating: 13+ 
warning: mention of death (not major character). a few swear words here and there. a lot of time skips, i hope it doesn't impede the reading flow!
a/n: i have officially been sucked into the world of svt and there’s no getting out of here! i honestly just got into soft jeonghan feels and wrote this. i’m writing after a very long time, and so much has happened since my last update on tumblr. i’m sorry if i have kept any of you waiting 😭. i will try to update regularly now! 
i hope you enjoy reading it!
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“Hello. I’m L/N Y/N.” You bowed deeply to the young man sitting in front of you in a wheelchair, a bored expression feeting in his eyes, his blonde hair falling raggedly over his face. A face you were not unfamiliar with. 
The man twisted his lip in annoyance and looked at the other man in the room. “Why is she here?”
“Hyung, you had said you’d keep a nurse.”
“I don’t remember, Hoshi. Perhaps, I was under the effect of heavy medication. Because of these fucking meds-” he seemed mildly irritated as he swatted his hand about in the air. “None of these meds are heavy in any way. Don’t pretend you’ve forgotten!” The younger boy whined, and continued, “Jeonghan hyung, the company, the doctor, the members, your family. Everyone has said that this is the best for you. You don’t have a say in this,” Hoshi had stood up to hold Jeonghan’s hands down. “Hyung, please.”
The man in the wheelchair had no option but to become limp in Hoshi’s hold. Flecks of irritation still on his face, he kept glaring at you with the world’s most disinterested look. “One month.” 
“Hoshi-ssi told me three months…?”
“No. One month. You work for me, I decide the rules.”
He swiftly turned his wheelchair around and went back into his bedroom.
“He’s moody these days, his mind is really fragile. I hope you understand.” Hoshi spoke to you gently. “Yes, I do. I’ve dealt with more stubborn patients, don’t worry.”
“I’ll leave you to settle down, then! Annyeong!” And the cheery young man left, after bowing his goodbyes. 
You had a sense of foreboding creeping into your heart. There was perfect silence in the apartment almost as if you were alone in the entire space. But you knew you were not. How was it possible that Yoon Jeonghan could exist so soundlessly? What if he was actually not- oh god, what if he had passed out or something? You quickly go to his bedroom and knock on the door frantically. “Please, Jeonghan-ssi!” Slowly you heard one breath being released. The door slowly creaked open. The apartment became full of life again as you felt Yoon Jeonghan’s beautiful face eyeing you curiously, like his new found toy.
_
The first week was a chaotic one, but by the time the fortnight had passed, you knew Yoon Jeonghan was now in your grip. Idle, he had all the time in the world to prank you and tease you, even while being in his wheelchair. Sometimes he would feign memory loss and forget who you were, other times he would ask you to change his shirt after he had dropped some soup on it. If your days at the hospital, where you were interning, were tiring, your nights were even more challenging. He would fall asleep without taking the prescribed medicines, shuffle out of his wheelchair without calling for your help as he should have, and behave just like any naughty kid would. And you had no option but to scold him each time. But you could never be too angry at the man. He would smile the most angelic smile at you, making your veins burst and melt at the same time, your anger dissipating into annoyance into laughter. Eventually you would smile to yourself every time he was successful in his teasing, each feat giving him immense happiness. One successful prank, and Yoon Jeonghan was a happy man. 
There were other ways to coax him into submission too. Making him his favourite ramyeon to warm his body whenever he could not sleep in the winter nights. Watching Jun’s new drama with him, and giggling over the kissing scenes, as Jeonghan would give you live commentary on how Jun would probably be behind the scenes. Combing his hair, which was growing longer by the day, into neat braids. 
You had, eventually, and unthinkably, fallen into a routine. 
-
“What is it exactly that you do in the daytime?” He had asked you once, while you were preparing breakfast for him before leaving for college. “I go to med school. Then I intern at the local hospital.” 
“I know. But that can’t be it. Surely school and internships can’t leave someone as dog-tired as you come home, Nurse L/N.” He looked at you with suspicious eyes, a mischievous spark in his doe eyes. You knew he was going to tease you now. 
You had, honestly, gotten used to this, and started recognizing the signs. Before you would cry out in anguish every time his teasing got the better of you. ‘Jeonghan-ssi. I forbid you from speaking ill about my favourite pen. It’s my lucky pen. I always do well in exams I write with this.’ ‘Oh, save heavens I make fun of your dearest pen.’ And he had laughed, all while knowing he had hidden the pen below his pillow. He would give it to you the next morning, a wave of relief flashing over your tense features, extremely nervous over the exam that day. ‘Don’t worry. You’ve studied so much. You’ll do well, irrespective of the pen.’ And then he had the audacity to wink. Fucking wink. After all the superstitious stress he had put you through the entire night. 
“Have you ever met any person from the medicine industry?”
“Nope. No people. Some annoying aliens though, prescribing bullshit medicines to me which I don’t even need. And of course, I’ve met you.”
“You don’t even know how stressful med school is. And then, at the internship, they’ll ask us interns to do everything. Right from sanitising the scalpels, to cleaning the floor if someone spills coffee, and the very next moment, they’ll ask me to perform a minor treatment, as if I wasn’t busy polishing the floor right now.” You huffed and puffed as you served Jeonghan the sunny-side-up. He had already put butter on his bread and began eating it. 
“Okay, I’ll be leaving now. Your coffee is in this pot. I’ve baked some cookies last night, while you were on that live call with fans-”
“Ooh that’s why the entire house was smelling like dogshit.”
“SHUT UP! They taste very good.”
“Dogshit? You’ve tried? A true connoisseur-”
“Yoon Jeonghan. I’ll put you in timeout.”
“No!” He instantly put on his angelic smile, pouting, his features full of aegyo, and your momentary anger melts. Oh you don’t know what to do with this one. 
_
20 days later, you could feel the wall between you two breaking down slowly. He had become more accepting to having you bossing around the house, keeping it clean and keeping him safe. Although you worked with him only for the night shift, the two of you would often have conversations, aside from the bickering, the nonsense he kept spewing and the teasing, that would actually be meaningful. 
“You’re wearing your shirt the other way round, Nurse L/N,” he said as soon as you unlocked the door and stepped into the house after finishing your job. 
“Oh!” You dropped your bags immediately and made your way to the washroom attached to your bedroom to change. “That’s why everyone on the subway kept staring at me.” When you returned to the hall, Yoon Jeonghan was sitting in the same way, flicking through his phone. 
“You didn’t wear the shirt wrong in the morning?” He cocks an eyebrow, and you blush all over. He had caught you. Clearing your throat, “Umm, well…” He tilts his head, letting the evening sun fall on his hair and making it shimmer. “I had a date today.” 
Immediately your veins start burning as he makes his way towards you, a small smile on his lips. “Nurse L/N! How did it go?” he asks you, then doesn’t wait for an answer. “Ahh well. That’s a wrong question. If you’re wearing your shirt the other way round, it must’ve gone well.” Peeking at you, to see your blush spreading all the way to your neck now. “Who is the unlucky person then?” 
Argh. Not even 10 minutes into the house and he had started teasing you. 
“He’s my friend from med school. We intern at the same hospital.”
“Show me a photograph.”
“Why?”
“I want to see!”
“Why? This is personal space.” You fold your arms, going along with his teasing. 
“I want to see if he’s more handsome than me.” Jeonghan declares solemnly, as if that’s the most reasonable response. And when you burst out laughing, he laughs with you too, but continues whining to see the photo. And you have no option but to yield. 
_
When Hoshi-ssi had approached you through his manager to take care of Jeonghan for the next three months till he recovered from the accident that had broken his left leg, you had been reluctant before saying yes. Firstly, you hadn’t believed that such a famous celebrity would be requesting for you, when they had all kinds of services at their disposal anyway. Then you learnt that you had taken care of Hoshi’s aunt when she was very ill and bed-ridden, and the good feedback had flown in from his family. Hoshi’s aunt had been your second patient, your first being your own mother, who had suffered from schizophrenia, before you had lost her two years ago. Although your eyes were still wet from those memories, you had decided to take nursing up as a side profession, to pay for the bills of med school, and put your nursing skills to use as well. Seven clients later, you had landed this job- taking care of the superstar idol, Yoon Jeonghan. 
“It’s a night shift. So you’ll have to interact very little with the patient. Through the day, he can take care of himself. We just expect you to keep him company as his… mental state… is really weak right now, perhaps more than his physical state,” the manager had said.
You weren’t a Carat. You didn’t even follow idol groups. You didn’t want to seem like a golddigger, and you knew well that these celebrities could throw tantrums, or even worse, ill-treat you. 
But when Hoshi-ssi personally called you, you simply could not refuse. There was something so soft in his voice, laced with worry whenever he spoke about his hyung, you simply knew you had to help this man out. 
And you had taken up the job.
The apartment was big enough for you to stay comfortably. Jeonghan was non-interfering in your personal matters, mostly. From time to time, he would comment on your hairstyle, worry about the dark circles under your eyes, suggest a new skincare product, and enquire about your family in all politeness. You had thought the initial courtesy he showed would die down, and then he would minimise his interactions with you. 
However, to your great (mis?)fortune, he stayed up every day, even after 25 days had passed, waiting for you to come back home. He would sit at the dinner table, as you made dinner in the kitchen. He would text you, while you were at work, sometimes meaningful questions, other times random thoughts, and even more rarely (thankfully), some photographs. Of his pet rock, of a new parcel delivered home, of takeout he had ordered for lunch instead of eating what you had cooked for him that morning, of himself. 
Oh, of himself. 
Those selcas were the rarest, and yet you kept wishing for him to send you one whenever your phone lit up with a notification. While you would sit in the break room, eating lunch between classes, you’d wait for it. When hanging out with friends after the internship, you’d wait for it. When your date from two weeks ago, Minho, took you out to coffee, you found yourself waiting for it again. 
And when it did, you’d save it instantly. Take a screenshot if it was a one-time view. Stare at it endlessly, sometimes laughing at the filters he would set up, sometimes smiling wistfully into his beautiful brown irises, looking at the camera with odd affection. You knew he generally sent those photos to you to get a reaction before posting them on Weverse for his fans. But somewhere in your heart, you had begun to wish, he would click those photos for you. Not for his fans, not out of boredom, not just to check if his face was still handsome. Just for you.
But that was the least of your problems. 
_
Your job had turned a month old, and you paced about in your bedroom, having packed your bags already, ready to be kicked out. Although Yoon Jeonghan had been fairly tolerable these last few days, one could never understand what went about in his mind. 
You were mentally listing off all the things you’d have to worry about now. You’d have to go back to your shitty paid guest room, and pay rent. You’d have to go without the extra cash from this job, barely making enough to eat four meals a day. Only somewhere in the corner of your mind, another little thought came up- you’d have to live without the living breathing caramel sunshine that was Yoon Jeonghan. You had truly gotten used to living with him- as a roommate, of course. Even with his irks and mischief, his moments of vulnerability and his fake aegyo. You had learnt to not dislike him, and now he was getting too close to your heart. 
A sharp knock on your bedroom door broke you out of your thoughts. “Nurse L/N? You didn’t come to wake me up?” He says it so normally, as if you’re not combusting with nerves right now. “It’s not 8 am yet, you don’t like it if I wake you up before that.”
He yawns. Lazy, warm, still in his night sleepsuit. His hair messy, his skin looking soft and his lips looking- 
“What’s all these bags for?”
“Huh?”
“You’re leaving me?” He starts to pout, making your insides like molten lava. 
“I- uh- one month-” you manage to stutter out, wondering if he had truly forgotten or if this was one of his pranks. “One month’s done? Yay! I am two months away from freedom. Nurse L/N, can you please order waffles for me today, I’ve been craving something sweet!” He whirls around his wheelchair after flashing his brightest, cutest smile at you. Left with your mouth open, you already start thinking whether all the ingredients for waffles could be found at home or not. 
_
While you would be away during the day, his members or family would come visit him, to help him dress or bathe. Every other day, you’d see him sitting with a member of his group, hearing their laughter even before seeing them when you entered the house. Sometimes more than one would turn up, and it would be a party. 
They always treated you with great respect. Joshua would profusely thank you, the polite charismatic gentleman he was, for taking care of Jeonghan. Seungcheol would ask you regularly whether you were well, whether his friend was irritating you, and whether the terms of work were suitable for you. The days when his members would arrive, usually Jeonghan would switch on live, for his fans. Mostly the lives would get over as soon as you would arrive, sometimes they would continue after you arrived as well, and you’d try your best to soundlessly work through the house so as to not disturb anyone. Contractually bound to secrecy and personally wishing for no involvement with his fans, this was an arrangement suiting you perfectly. 
Except one day, when he was doing the live all on his own. You dropped a small glass, and hurt your finger in the broken glass. Almost on instinct, Jeonghan had shouted out, “Nurse L/N, are you okay? Did you break something?” Hearing voice full of concern, real genuine concern, you couldn't help but reply back. “Yeah I’m okay! Don’t worry, it’s just a glass.” “Hmm, okay.”
Cleaning up your wound, you had tiptoed towards Jeonghan’s room, where he was arranging legos while streaming live. Your heart was pounding in your chest, waiting for the call from his company, asking you to resign. Knocking softly on the door, you entered, trying to signal him to not mention you aloud and asking him if the company had reached out to him to announce your dreadful fate. 
“Ou?” 
Facepalming yourself as Jeonghan asked you in the loudest whisper possible, you gave up. Even if your earlier reply was probably not audible due to the distance, it was so clear now when Jeonghan visibly looked up at you, and asked you, in the most innocent way. “Ou? What are you saying?” You were about to leave the room, when suddenly he introduced you, out LOUD, in front of his fans. “Caratdeul! This is Nurse L/N, she’s taking good care of me! Don’t worry for me. Nurse L/N, please say hello!” By now, you were palpitating. Your phone would ring any moment. Any- “Hello, I am Nurse L/N. I’ll take your leave now, Jeonghan-ssi,” you said, without showing your face on the camera. 
But Yoon Jeonghan had no intention to let you escape. “Nurse L/N,” he cried out, with a pout on his face, his eyes shining behind his glasses, “how does my lego model look?” It was a model of some sports car. “Hmm, looks good!” “Everyone!” A smug look appeared on Jeonghan’s face, “This is the first time Nurse L/N has said my work looks good! This is all thanks to our Carats.” Taking his self-absorbed, smiling-widely-till-his-eyes-disappeared moment as an excuse, you left the room. Because another minute, and you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from crossing a line. 
_
You were well into the second month, when the panic attacks started. 
They were most likely triggered by the doctor’s report that morning. Jeonghan-ssi, I’m afraid you’ll need more time to recover. Although your femur’s not broken, it’s extremely weak, and your legs cannot support your weight now. Even after recovery, I would advise you to not dance heavily for at least another month. 
You had been awoken by a sharp scream in the middle of the night, no scratch that, early in the morning, as you could see the first rays of dawn streaming in through the window. Immediately you rushed to Jeonghan’s room, who slept with his door unlocked for such emergency situations. “Are you okay?”
And instead of the calm fairy you expected, you were met by a ghost. 
Yoon Jeonghan was sitting upright in his bed, sweat pouring down from his forehead and arms, his long blonde hair dishevelled, and his chest heaving for air. The worst was over, you reckoned, as you gently stepped closer to him. 
For the first time in two months, you saw fear in Yoon Jeonghan’s eyes. As soon as you came near the bed, he reached out to grip your hands. You whispered to him, endlessly rubbing his arms and his back, it’ll be alright, you’re okay, don’t worry, i’m here, you’ll be okay, you’re safe with me, until you could feel his heart rate slow down to a normal pace. 
He then looked at you, in such an inexplicably fond way, like-
Like you were his light. 
Like you were the stars in his dark night.
Like you were his world. 
And you succumbed to the urge of hugging him. You pressed him gently to your body, trying to relay your warmth to his colder body, initially hesitant as to how he would receive your action. 
To your surprise, he pulled you in closer. You realised it was his anxiety speaking, his fingers still trembling from the shock. And not his need to be close to you, as your dumb brain hoped somehow. 
But then, he kept the hope alive. 
“Stay with me tonight, Y/N.”
_
The entire day, you were extremely distracted, both in school and at work. Fumbling with things, clumsily dropping things, and forgetting important tasks. Yoon Jeonghan had called you by your first name for the first time. This single thought kept spiralling in your head, finding root in some delusion or the other. The entire night, you had spent with him. Hugging him first, then he had laid down and put his head on your lap. And you had stroked his hair, until he was asleep. You had sent a text to Seungcheol, asking him to come and stay with Jeonghan, as you didn’t want to leave him alone like this but you couldn’t miss classes today. He had immediately agreed, and turned up sharp at 7 am. Instead of waking up Jeonghan, you had left your blanket next to him to fool him of your presence, and left the house, leaving the man in his best friend’s care. 
Last night had been a monstrous event for the tiny feeling you felt in your heart every time you thought of Jeonghan, which was actually nearly every second. Long forgotten was Minho and his stupid face and stupid voice and stupid pick-up lines. The only voice which sent warm electric shocks through your entire body was the one that belonged to Yoon Jeonghan. You kept texting Seungcheol, asking him for updates, whether Jeonghan had eaten, whether he had bathed, whether he had taken his afternoon nap, whether he was talking normally, whether his blood pressure was normal, so on and on. Even when his replies satisfied you, you were always nervous about what was happening back home. 
Home. 
Was the house you spent your nights in now home? Was the subway station you had now gotten used to getting off at home? Was the bedroom you slept in now home?
Or was he home?
When you did return to your home, you found the man who had occupied all your thoughts through the day sitting next to Seungcheol, giggling about something on his phone. “Oh you’re here!” Seungcheol says, popping up when he spots you enter. “Hi. I came home early.”
Jeonghan’s smile disappears, and you tense up already. You have no idea what’s coming. 
“I’ll be leaving then. He’s been asking for you all day anyway,” Seungcheol smirks against Jeonghan’s little rebellious whines, and your stomach churns in worry. He bows to you, and leaves. Leaving you with the blonde little elephant in the room. 
“So. How are you feeling, Jeonghan-ssi?” You ask after a while, breaking the ice finally. He shifts towards one side of the sofa, and you instinctively step forward, wondering if he wanted to get up into his wheelchair now, but he only pats the seat next to him, asking you to sit down. 
“I’m sorry for last night, Nurse L/N.” There, back to just a fucking nurse. It was a slip of tongue. “You don’t have to be. This is what I’m here for. This is what you’re paying me for,” you chuckle, but he doesn’t even smile. “But I invaded your personal space-” you lean forward, hold his hand, and say, “Hey. Don’t worry. I hugged you out of my own accord.” “Because you wanted to?” he whispers, and you whisper back, your heart beating in your throat, your voice hoarse with emotion, “Yes, because I wanted to.”
“Can you do it again then?”
Quirking your eyebrows, you realised he’s being dead serious. There’s no way he could lie and tease you with such vulnerability in his eyes. And so you hug him. It’s not as close as last night, but the embrace still makes your spine tingle with happiness. You hope against hope he cannot hear your heartbeat. 
When you try to pull away, he lets you, but keeps holding on to your hand. 
“I’m- umm, what they call, clingy. I appreciate physical comfort. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable. You can move away when you like.”
“No. I don’t feel uncomfortable at all. If you like, we could hug more often. Or you could hold my hand. Or put your head on my shoulder or…” you didn’t want to think of his head on your lap again. You would not be able to control the urge to kiss his forehead and eyes and tiny button nose and of course, the pretty lips. 
“But you have a boyfriend…” 
“Huh?” You’re taken aback now. What was this? “I have a boyfriend I don’t even know about?”
“That boy, Minho? You went out on dates with him?” He looks confused. You bite your lip, “Oh. No, I lost interest. We didn’t date, at least seriously.”
“Oh," you saw the clouds in his face clearing.
So he was worried about your boyfriend being uncomfortable with a grown man hugging you for emotional support? Jeez. What did he think your taste in men was?
"Can I make another request?" God, what's this tone? You had never heard it before but you could sure get used to it. Pouty-faced, soft voiced Jeonghan was definitely your favourite. As if you could ever say no to him. 
"Hmm, go on?"
"Can you sleep in my room today?"
You wish you could say no to him.
“In your bed?”
“No, I think your bed can be shifted to my room? It’ll fit also. It’s a single, thin bed.”
You know it will fit. You also know your room is big enough to fit another queen-sized bed. But when you’re that close, how will you be able to tolerate the distance?
“Hmm. I think it could fit. But I think it’s too heavy for me to carry today… maybe I can ask some help from neighbours or friends tomorrow and set it up in your room? Meanwhile today… I could bring a mattress and sleep on the floor.”
“No!” He cried out. “I mean- you can always sleep next to me.” He smiles, a little angelic, a lot devilish. You know he’s teasing now. 
You take away your hand from his, and you can see him begin to whine at the loss of warmth. “On the floor then.”
But yet again, as dawn breaks, he screams awake again, and you notice tears rolling down his cheeks also. He hides his face from you when you sit next to him to calm him down, embarrassed of his tears. You wipe them away with your hands (and not with kisses). 
And that’s how he falls asleep again. He lies down fairly far away from you, at least an arm’s distance. But your hand is still in his, and you can’t sleep, overly conscious about drifting towards him in your sleep. You’re content just taking in his beautiful face through the sunrise, drinking up his features like you’re parched, wishing you could put your fingers at each spot on his face, feeling the bone and the muscle and the skin, feeling his breath.
_
“If you don’t mind me asking… what triggered your nightmare?” You ask him the next morning. Good heavens, it’s a free Sunday after ages, and you had been looking forward to this for weeks now. You had so many plans- ordering food for brunch, catching up on your favourite k-drama, buying a new pair of shoes. But you realised- all of these plans involved Jeonghan. You couldn’t imagine doing any of this without him.
You’re sitting with Jeonghan in the small balcony of his apartment, which overlooks the city almost entirely. It’s a serene view, the sunshine not too harsh, and Yoon Jeonghan hasn’t let go of your hand ever since last night. You hadn’t pushed him too far for answers yesterday, thinking it was a one-time thing. But today, you were getting more curious and worried. 
“Ummm… I’m not too sure myself? I just have a lot of thoughts these days.” You stroke the thumb of his hand which lies in your palm now. “What thoughts? Do you miss your members? Your fans?” “Yeah, I do. But it’s not like that just…” You know he’s hesitating, but he’s seconds away from crying. “Jeonghan-ssi. Go on. I’m here.” 
After a VERY long pause, he says softly. 
“You know how the doctor said I’ll need at least another month, even after this hiatus of three months, before I can go back to my normal self, being an idol.” You hum in between his pauses. “I’m scared, Nurse L/N. I’m scared… they’ll forget me. And even if they don’t, I’ll be disappointing them. I won’t be able to meet my fans’ expectations anymore. They won’t get what they deserve from me.”
“No one deserves anything from you. You don’t owe them anything.”
“You don’t understand,” you can sense his voice getting hoarse and louder. “Fans aren’t easy to explain to- and to be honest, which fan wouldn’t be upset seeing their favourite idol isn’t going to dance well any more? Hell, I’m probably no one’s favourite idol anymore.” He looks away from you, his hand already retracted from yours. 
“Jeonghan-ssi. Firstly, if you really care about your fans so much, they most likely care about you a lot too. Of course, they’ll understand. And secondly, have you checked twitter? Or instagram? They keep talking about your health, and look forward to your live videos-”
He smiles, “Yeah, they’re asking about you too.” You ignore the statement and continue, “I understand where your vulnerability is coming from- but you can only improve your mindset by not thinking of the worst case possible.”
He doesn’t say anything. His face is still sullen, dark clouds storming in his eyes. 
“Jeonghan-ssi, you’re not that easy to forget, and less easier to replace. I don’t think your fans will forget you so soon.” 
He looks at you, his lips pursed in a hopeful trance. You know he’s still extremely scared of the future, but then, who wasn’t? It was only natural to be afraid of uncertainty. You gently pat his head, and ask, “Is one of your band members going to come today? For bathing and dressing you…?”
Frankly, you didn’t understand why they couldn’t keep a full-time caregiver who would be professionally trained to do all the work required. But you had seen Jeonghan’s attitude the first time you suggested this. No. I’m not an object for pity, and caregivers will pity me. Plus I don’t trust them. I trust you, I trust my members. I’m only safe in your hands. You had wanted to ask why he trusted you- was it because he knew you really needed the money and a good place to stay? But you had simply nodded and left the issue. 
“No. I didn’t ask any of them to come today. They have a shooting schedule today.” His voice sounded even more feeble. He probably missed being on set with them, laughing as a whole, playing games, singing and enjoying themselves. From the videos of their show, Going Seventeen, which Jeonghan had himself shown to you, you had noticed how solid their bond was, and how comfortable they were around each other, easier than friends, stronger than family members. 
“Oh.” This meant you would have to bathe him. Shit. 
_
“I’m throwing my shirt!” “Yeah.” You waited outside the door of the washroom as Jeonghan stripped inside, and threw his shirt through the slightly open door. You had become extremely flustered at the thought of dressing and undressing him, but he had provided a simple solution. 
Although you doubted how simple it was, when you could hear him struggling to get his pants off. “Nurse L/N. I think I’ll just bathe with my pants on!” “No! Don’t be a dirty boy. Do you want me to help?” You asked, breathless. “No,” you could hear his sigh, “I’m fine. I’ve got it off. Here, catch!” 
Then there was the sound of the shower opening, the slight squeak of a tap, and a tune being emitted by the man showering there. You left quietly.
_
It was around 3 in the afternoon when you both had finished bathing, lunch, folding up laundry (you) and singing random songs (him), watching one episode of a k-drama (him) and wondering why hearts ached without any attack (you). “I’m going to take you out. Enough of staying indoors. It’s eating into your brain.” You announce. 
He almost jumps with you, but then winces. “But where? I don’t want to make a public appearance to collect sympathy and pity.” “You’ll see. You said you trust me, right?” He smiles, “Ayy. Human trust doesn’t go that far.” But you can see the excitement build in his eyes. “It’s a surprise.” “Surprises are not nice.” You tie up his eyes with a blindfold, leaving him no option but to huff and puff and whine and sulk.
But this surprise is nice. Jeonghan’s face lights up like a million watt bulb when you take off his blindfold and reveal him sitting in his dance practice room, all his members standing around him. He squeals in joy, and they all start talking instantly, making it too loud a chaos for you to decipher. Hell, you haven’t even been able to tell their voices apart yet. 
The man you know as Channie, comes to you and bows. “I’m so thankful to you for bringing Hyung here. Thank you for taking care of him!” Another man, Seokmin, joins him, and they both smile at you widely. You blush, suddenly caught off guard by the attention, and excuse yourself from the room, leaving the boys to their antics. You text Jeonghan that you’re going to meet up with your childhood best friend, and you’ll be back to pick him up whenever he calls. 
But he never calls you back. The members carry him around- they go to some restaurant, eat barbecue and drink a hell lot of beer, and then they drop him home. You had returned a couple of hours back, and when you see three strong able-handed men entering the house with Jeonghan, you take the chance. 
“Jeonghan-ssi. Do you still want me to bring my bed to your room?” Although the other three men stare at Jeonghan quizzically, he solemnly nods. Seungkwan asks you, “Are you sure that’s okay with you? I t’s a really weird request!” Mingyu adds, “Yeah, Hyung, if you need her anytime, you can just call out for her, she’s anyway in the same house.” But Jeonghan won’t have it. “Yah, please. Nurse L/N, please.” You sigh and say, “He’s not feeling strong enough to sleep alone. It’s okay, I’ve done this before. I understand the need for physical comfort.” “Are you sure?” Seungcheol asks you, and you nod your consent. Then he says, “We’ll help you bring the bed then!” 
That night, Jeonghan slept on his own bed, and you on your own, but he said he felt more relief knowing you were around him. I’m worried for you too, you know. Worried? What on earth for? Nothing, just. I’m feeling over-protective for everyone who matters to me right now. It was safe to say you slept in a constant dream-like state. Jeonghan did not wake up that night, and even if he did, it didn’t wake you up. You woke up only to your alarm next morning, breaking your haze of dusty, autumn dreams of blonde ponytails, flowers in a garden, and a pretty face belonging to the man lying next to you. 
_
Third month in, and you were feeling a little under the weather. Perhaps it was the flu passing around in your college for a while now, but you had been strictly banned from going to the hospital (an order you had cried and begged your supervisor to take back, fearing this was the premature end to your internship, but he had calmly asked you to come back when you were well). Jeonghan, meanwhile, was now out of his wheelchair, and simply walking about using a pair of crutches. He was in a better mental state now, as the nightmares became fewer and less intense, and his general moodiness also dissipated. 
But of late, he was being too affectionate towards you. Perhaps it was the reason behind you falling in. His sickly sweet smile whenever you complimented him for walking well, his blush of shy satisfaction when he completed any small task you gave him. One day you stepped into the house and almost screamed before the man sitting on the sofa turned around and showed you that it was none but Jeonghan, with his hair dyed black now. 
And dear heavens. That black mop of hair would kill you. 
For, if blonde Jeonghan was an angel, an embodiment of sunshine, a picture of innocence, black-haired Jeonghan was all of that but a slight rough edge to him, making his features even sharper and his eyes even deeper. It was all you needed to stab a dagger in your heart every day. Now that you’re stuck at home on a leave for 10 days, you have nothing to do except look at this man, laugh at his antics and calm down the growing anxiety in your heart as to what you’d do after these three months got over and your contract would expire. And even though you never voiced your worries out loud, Jeonghan somehow caught them. 
“How many months are left till you graduate?” “About five months?” “Hmm. You can actually stay in my apartment throughout and not go back to the shitty place you showed me pictures of.” You gawk, “You’re crazy, how could I ever do that!” “No I’m serious, Nurse L/N.” You stick your tongue out, not interested in his pity offers. “You know what your problem is, Nurse L/N?” Your face is still turned away from him. “You’re just so stuffed with pride. That’s why you’re not taking the medicines I’m giving you at correct times.” 
Oh, how the tables have turned. 
“I’m fine.” You stress on every syllable, but Yoon Jeonghan can’t seem to take the hint and buzz off. 
And that’s your biggest issue. He doesn’t even tease you as much as he is genuinely caring for you now. As if you’re really his friend. You wonder what has brought about this kind of absurd change in him. It’s not like anything had changed in how he saw you. Nurse L/N.
_
You were wrong about his teasing nature mellowing down. The next morning, when your supervisor had called, you had been in the washroom, and instead of just letting the call go until you returned, he had picked up the call and introduced himself as your Oppa. 
Indigestion just had to hit you that very day.
You had no option but to let your blood boil in embarrassment as you overheard the entire conversation, helpless and frustrated. 
“Yes, umm… she’s really stupid. She keeps forgetting stuff, you must know hahaha. No wonder she’s totally forgotten about mentioning me. I’m her local guardian haha.”
You hoped he would clarify something about the Oppa tag. Mention that he wasn’t your boyfriend. Mention that he was your brother or something. Or even an older friend, but in vain. Jeonghan was hell-bent on spreading rumours in the hospital about your love life, one would think.
“Yes! I know. She’s recovering now, I’ve been taking good care of her.”
“Oh no, she doesn’t have any family per se. She just has me.”
“Aaah no no, it’s no like that…” you could hear his voice ambiguously trail off, leaving several loose ends. This must’ve been a question about that-
“Oh sure! Thank you. I’ll let her know asap. Yes, yes tomorrow. Thank you.” 
After three minutes when you emerged from the washroom, pissed and stressed, Yoon Jeonghan was smiling to himself while watching a video on Youtube. 
“What was that call for?”
“Which call?”
You stare. He budges. “Oh, your supervisor had called. He was asking if you can join back tomorrow. I said yes.”
“Why did you pick up?”
“Why not! Would you rather lose the one chance your supervisor gave you to come back?” He smirks, knowing he had hit your weak spot. “But even then. You’re not my Oppa.” “Huh? I’m four years older than you!” 
“Jeonghan-ssi. Just because you’re older than me doesn’t mean you can introduce yourself as my Oppa. Are you dumb or do you not understand the connotations of such an introduction?” 
There was a pause. 
“What would you suggest I’d introduce myself as? I didn’t want to say my name-”
“Her friend would just do. Or her neighbour. Or her classmate from college.”
“Those wouldn’t have had similar connotations? Any boy answering any girl’s call would have similar connotations, Y/N-aah.”
Another pause. Maybe he hadn’t realised he had called you by your first name. 
“Then you should have just introduced yourself as the patient I’m taking care of in the night shift. Everyone knows about that, Jeonghan-ssi. Honestly, anything but Oppa. You’re not my Oppa.”
Before he could reply, you take your phone from the table and lock yourself into your room for the rest of the morning, too overwhelmed to say anything else or even look into the eyes of that dangerous man. 
_
There had been very little conversation between the two of you through that day and the next, before you left for work again. He had tried a lot to initiate conversation with you, weird questions interrupting the silence now and then. But you were honestly too stressed to take any of his excuses and forgive him. 
How dare he call himself your Oppa, when in three weeks he was going to simply forget you totally? How dare he even call you by your first name and break the professional formalities that were standard? You had thought the first time, that night, had been a slip of tongue in feverish delusion. This was no delusion. In bright daylight, he had crossed the line and called you by your name. 
Although it shouldn’t matter much, you rationaled. Oppa could mean a dozen different things. No one would assume it meant boyfriend. 
But oh, you were so so wrong. You knew it as soon as you stepped into the hospital after an extremely tiring day at university, and saw people staring at you. You reached your supervisor’s cabin to mark your attendance, and he too gave you the weirdest looks. The peak of the entire farce was when Hyerin, your closest friend at the internship, whispered to you after hugging you warmly to welcome you back, “YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND?!” Aargh. 
“He’s not a boyfriend. He’s just the patient I’m taking care of. He randomly messed with me and introduced himself as my Oppa.”
“BUT I HAD NO IDEA HE’S LIKE A YOUNG GUY? I thought he’s a sixty-something fellow, no offence to old men who call themselves Oppa-”
“Yeah he’s a young guy. I told you he had broken his leg?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. Breaking legs doesn't require the person to be old. It was an accident while he was crossing the street.”
 “Still! This changes thing, hmmmm” she smirks, and you know where it’s headed. “Being in close quarters with a man only slightly older than you… are you sure he’s not dashingly sexy? Not a sugar daddy type? I could come and help you in your nursing job then.”
“No, and no. He is pretty good-looking, but I don’t care. Now move and let me start my work before boss comes and sends me on a leave again.” Hyerin wasn’t that close to you to know about the deepest secret of your heart. No one except your one childhood bestie knew about it. And you both had sworn on your childhood rings to never divulge secrets. 
_
To make matters worse, you played a voice note sent by Jeonghan loudly, as soon as you got out of the operation theatre. Right in the corridor. 
In your defence, he had sent three messages just before and after that, definitely impatient that you hadn’t heard his voice note, saying URGENT!, and you had fallen for the bait. Instantly playing it, without realising your volume was full, you cringed and almost threw your phone away instantly. 
Napipopeta piripu pipiretta. Napi-
“You’re watching Instagram reels at work?!” Somehow your supervisor had also come out into the corridor and had heard the voice note. “You know social media is banned when you’re on duty!” 
“Sir, I was just listening-” 
“No arguments! So irresponsible. You’ll be staying back till 10 pm today, Y/N!”
_
“Okay Nurse L/N. Enough of the silent treatment. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be something I’m not… I just didn’t think of the consequences as much. Sorry, please?” He gave you the softest puppy eyes ever given by humankind, as you ate the ramen you had made for dinner.
You hadn’t uttered a single word since returning, just too upset and tired. But now you had to say it. “Was that voice note a joke?”
His eyes widened, “I- I just sent it… thinking your mood would become better hearing it… my fans really like that song…”
You bite your lower lip.
“My boss heard me playing it. That’s why I came home late.”
He stays silent for a minute. “I’m sorry if it got you into trouble. I just thought…”
And out of spite, just out of spite, and pent-up emotions spilling over, you say the worst thing ever. 
“Your voice can never make my mood better, Jeonghan-ssi.”
_
Something had snapped between the two of you since that day. 
You had tried to build up a wall between you two, trying to keep distance that you felt was necessary to get your heart used to what was just coming within two weeks. He tried to break that wall, going out of the way to be with you, even helping you study for an exam coming up. He was needing lesser and lesser care by the day, as he regained strength in his legs, and was quite determined to live by his old habits. He would leave the house without waiting for your support, he would cook sometimes, he would also do the laundry. 
He did everything to make you feel lesser and lesser wanted in the house.
And you really took the cue. You started minimising your interactions. Even sleeping in the same room became too difficult for you, and you spent many hours on the couch before going to your bed, waiting for him to fall asleep. You would limit conversation to the necessities, taking all possible steps to reduce his dependency on you. 
“Why are you doing this?” He asks you, one night, after you both had lied down in your beds but it was obvious that sleep eluded you. 
“What?” You whisper back, hesitant. “This. Becoming far away from me.”
There are massive pauses between your replies, and you can hear him holding in his breath through the entire pause.
“You anyway don’t need me much. It’s only best if I move away from you.”
“Physically perhaps- but I thought we could be…”
“Hmm?”
“Friends. Are we not friends?”
Friends. You had stopped wanting to be friends for a very long time now.
“It’s not possible. You and I belong to different worlds, as cliche as it sounds. We can’t be friends.”
“Why not?”
“Have you seen how your fans have taken to stalking me on my social media? I’ve had to delete my accounts everywhere. If they find out who I am, they’re not just going to kill me, but the contract and all the payment I got from this job will be forfeited.”
“Kill you? Isn’t that too extreme?” You can hear him shuffle closer to your end in his bed, his voice closer to you now. 
“They’re going to brand me as a golddigger. And even if they don’t kill me, I’ll definitely kill myself then.” 
“There, again you and your pride.”
“You’re laughing at my self-respect?”
“No, I respect it. Not many can be so stoic.”
“Goodnight, Yoon Jeonghan.”
“Nurse L/N.”
You don’t want to reply. You pretend you’re asleep.
“Y/N-aah.”
You know he’s heard the change in your breath and he continues. “There are really just six days left?”
“We can reduce it if you like.”
“Can you not be so snappy? It’s really not funny anymore.” He sounds agitated, his voice on the verge of breaking. 
“Are you really saying this to me? Why do I have the responsibility to make it seem funny? You have a problem with me having real emotions too?”
“I never said I have a problem with anything. But this attitude of yours is, frankly, uncalled for, in my opinion. Or you’re not telling me something I should know. And this is bothering me.”
Another pause before you reply. 
“I’m going to leave in six days, Yoon Jeonghan. You better stop being bothered by me.”
_
You don’t know what’s come over you. Suddenly you can’t breathe in the house anymore. You don’t even want to call it home these days. 
Ever since that conversation, Jeonghan had stopped putting in as much effort. You had far overstayed your welcome, and he really needed you to be gone now. Maybe get a girlfriend to visit him. Must’ve been sad without sex for three months for him. Your heart ached every morning when you saw him as soon as your eyes fluttered open- an angelic face, his mouth slightly parted open as he slept in his dream world. You wanted to kiss him (honestly every minute nowadays you did, even if you burnt yourself up, that desire did not disappear.)
It was a crush, you convinced yourself. Finals were coming up, you’d get busy, you’d forget about him. Easy peasy. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to delete the little gallery of pictures you had formed in your phone- including photos he had sent you, photos of him that you had taken, and the three photos of you two together.
The first had been clicked on the night when he had let go of his wheelchair and first taken up the crutch. Many of his bandmates were there, and they had all cheered loudly. Because you had been standing right next to him, holding his arm to stabilise him, Wonwoo had clicked a photo of you too right at the moment when he was looking into your eyes with the joy of letting go of the wheelchair, and you were looking right back at him. It was a coincidental photo, and a photo meant to be only of Jeonghan, but you kept smiling when you looked at it. It almost gave the illusion that it was … for lack of better words, a photograph of affection. 
The second was a selca. Correction, it was Jeonghan’s selca, which he had clicked without you even knowing, so you were obliviously watching the drama on the television, eating ice cream. He had even posted it on Weverse, blurring you out obviously. But his fans had caught the second hand in the photograph, zoomed into it, and somehow figured out it was a female hand, and then conducted several polls amongst themselves whether it was his girlfriend, his sister, his mother, his friend or his nurse (how would they ever know though?). The results of the poll had been varied, and some had even claimed: guys we don’t know if the nurse and the girlfriend are different people hehehe you know what i mean!! Ugh, these conspiracy theories. 
The third one had been the most recent one. You were on a video call with your childhood friend, and he had just entered the room without knocking. He had said hi to your friend, who had smirked and giggled and tried to make suggestive comments until you winked at her to shut the fuck up. Finally he had left after asking you some really redundant questions, making you wonder why he had even entered your room. Your best friend had taken a screenshot of the two of you talking, and she had practically squealed over call god, he’s so handsome!!!! And he’s so in love with you!!! Did you see how he was doting on your face with every word you uttered?! AWWWW! Y/N, I’d say wife him up immediately!
You had laughed then, and you laughed at it now. Every time you scrolled through this secret gallery, you had nothing but a fond smile tugging at your lips, no matter how distant you wanted to make yourself from the man, who had slowly, but surely, taken up all of your heart, and was showing absolutely no intention to leave. 
_
You packed your bags and stood in front of the door, waiting for Jeonghan to bring whatever he was looking for in his bedroom. He had vehemently protested against you helping him, and as a result, a search that could’ve been completed in seconds, was now taking minutes. 
Eventually, he appeared. He had a bag for you in his outstretched hand, and you silently took it from him. Peeping in, you saw everything was wrapped with paper. “What’s this for?” “Thank you, Nurse L/N for taking care of me.” He smiled, continuing, “I don’t know why you’re angry at me. But I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way. Please accept my gift.” Your heart was melting with each step he took towards you, eventually so close that you could see your reflection in his eyes. It was too close for you to breathe, but you realised you wanted to get used to this proximity.
“Thank you, then. Jeonghan-ssi, you’ve been an excellent employer these past three months. Thank you for taking good care for me, as well” and you lightly bow. 
“How do I see you again?” You’re stunned. Why does he want to see you? “Do I have to break my leg again?” his whispers grow ragged.
You try to crack a joke, “Or you could break an arm,” but he doesn’t smile. He seems impatient for an actual answer. “Or you could call me. We can hang out once every couple of months, if you’re free. Or you could just… you know, call and talk.”
He wants to say something, but your phone begins to ring. Your best friend must have arrived downstairs to give you a ride to her house. You had decided to stay with her for the remainder of the university term.
“Goodbye, Yoon Jeonghan-ssi.”
“Goodbye, Y/N. I’ll miss having you around.” 
You don’t believe him. You think he’s just being nice. But oh, somewhere deep down, you hope it’ll be true. You smile at him, tight-lipped, but genuine. He doesn’t smile back.
And just like that, you’re gone. 
_
The next month, you don’t hear from him at all. Your internship has also ended, and you’ve started studying hard, applying to various specialisation courses, and basically trying to forget him. It works, frankly, because with your closest friend around, you have your mind on other things. Such as her extremely toxic situationship, which she doesn’t even realise is harming her, but you keep warning her to step off. Such as her mother baking cookies for you as winter sets in. Such as visiting your own mother’s grave once every week, to give her flowers, a new ritual you’ve set up. 
It’s on one of these bus rides to the park which has her grave that you cross the hospital where you had your internship. And you spot, your eyes instantly going wide, a certain familiar someone standing at the bus stop right outside the hospital.
You’d have recognised him from miles away. Even if it’s really late in the evening, the twilight setting in, you can recognise him. 
You want to look away and continue the ride to the original destination. You want to ignore him. You want to push away the thought of him waiting (for who?) in front of the hospital where you worked at while staying with him.
But you can’t. You immediately step out of the bus, paying your fare, and walk up a little bit to reach the spot he’s standing. He’s looking the other way so he doesn’t really notice when you come and stand behind him. Until you cough a bit.
And you’ve never seen Yoon Jeonghan smile this brightly before. Never. Not while you were in his house, not even in the videos of him that miraculously come up on your Youtube algorithm now. 
“What are you doing here?” you don’t know why, but your voice cannot go beyond a whisper. In the empty streets after dark, he can hear you clearly though.
“You came.” he whispers back.
“You were waiting for me?”
“Who else would I wait for in front of the hospital you worked at?”
“I don’t work there anymore. My internship is over.”
“So I heard. But I had no idea where you live now, and apparently it’s not safe to go to your university if I have to keep you a secret.”
“But waiting in front of a hospital in the dark is safe?”
“It’s a hospital. No one is looking at me here. I’m not the important person here, for anyone.”
You can’t help but say, “You are, for me.”
_
The stars are out, the cars are flashing by, and you’re walking alongside Yoon Jeonghan on a silent road. Sometimes your arms brush, sometimes he smiles too much for your heart to take, sometimes you look at him for so long that he breaks eye contact. For once in your life, you don’t want to overthink this. Even if tomorrow you wake up and realise this was a dream, you want to live the best dream of your life till the end. 
“Hey,” he whispers when you zone out. You’re standing under a streetlamp now, the smell of flowers from the trees around you filling the air. You’re 100 metres away from a tteokbokki stall, and you want to ask him if he wants to eat some, but he holds your hand at that moment. 
“Y/N.”
“No more Nurse L/N?”
“You’ve stopped being Nurse L/N for me for a long time now.”
Your heart stops. He grazes his thumb over your pulse point. You think you’ll combust.
“Your palm is sweaty, Y/N. Are you nervous?”
How can you not be when he’s right there, in front of you, so close… but still so far? You don’t know how you landed up like this, after an entire month of avoidance, but knowing that he came every evening to look for you in front of your hospital, waiting till the shift was scheduled to get over, has melted your heart beyond control. 
“You’ve cut your hair again.” You finally say.
“Is it looking nice?”
“Hmm… makes you look sharper.”
“Huh?” His eyes are becoming wide now.
You take your other hand out of your pocket and touch his hair with a featherlike touch. “But it’s still so pretty. You won’t cut me, will you?”
He smiles, and leans in, and you can sense him breathing you in. You must be smelling like sweat and grime by now but he doesn’t seem to care. Eventually he places his chin on your head and time has stopped. You can’t help but snuggle into the warm cavity of his body, gently placing yourself against his strong chest, as you can feel now. And somehow, his hands leave yours, and wrap themselves around your back. 
It’s a hug.
And then it’s a kiss on your forehead. A kiss on your scalp. And a kiss in your hair. And you snuggle deeper and deeper into him. 
He pats your hair gently, and you mumble into his chest. “What took you so long, Hannie? Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” it’s half feverish you know, you don’t even expect him to reply. And yet he does. 
“Oh, but Y/N-ah, I’ve been coming to you forever, why did you keep pushing me away, baby?” And you spread your hands around him too, pulling him deeper, until you’re both too squished, and have to move apart for air. 
But only a little bit, just enough so that you can see his face, and he holds your face in his big palms. 
“Y/N-ah. Do you want to come home with me? I want to watch a new episode of the k-drama with you. I’ve really fallen behind it without having you to watch with.”
You smile, his eyes glitter up with the reflection.
“Of course. But only if you promise to hug me more.”
“No. No more hugs. Can I kiss you?”
You suck in a deep breath, lips parting already, at the wonderful tingle going through your body. You could cry right now, with the time he takes to move in and place his lips on yours gently. 
And you do cry. One stray tear escapes your closed eyes, and he kisses that away too.
“Hannie…”
“I’m yours, Y/N-ah. If you’ll have me, forever yours.”
“Of course I’ll have you.”
“Sorry if I kept you waiting for long.”
“It’s okay. You’re worth the wait, anyway.” You smile as you press a kiss on his nose, his little button nose you’ve always found cute. You stand up on your toes and kiss his eyes and his eyebrows and his forehead, but then he stops you. “Baby, let’s go home and then you can kiss me?”
How can you ever say no to Yoon Jeonghan? How could he even think that you’d say no?
“Of course, Hannie. I love you.”
“And I love you, baby.” Another kiss on your lips, and you know you’ve seen heaven. Because if Yoon Jeonghan isn’t the equivalent of heaven, you don’t want to know what is.
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lambertdiary · 1 year
Text
Under The Influence
A/N: Hey! So this is was requested originally to @fluentmoviequoter: "Hii I'm utterly in love with your writing and I have a request for dalton ♡♡ basically he tries weed for the first time because he heard it help with sleeping sometimes. But he had too much and doesn't understand how he feels so he calls reader and is rambling on the phone then actually tells the reader he had weed and he wants company because he hates being alone. And then he just basically is like touch starved and is asking reader to play with his hair, hold him, play with his hands, and then he just ends up confessing his feeling for reader. If any of that makes sense 😘😘😘" unfortunately, they don't take this type of requests but when i read this i was absolutely obsessed with the idea so i knew i had to write it! i’ve never done weed so i’m sorry if this is not accurate. also i downloaded the entire movie just to get this gif, it was totally worth it. anyway pls let me know what you think!
Word count: 2.1+
Warnings: drug use, language
MASTERLIST  ✩  SEND ME A REQUEST
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Dalton wasn’t the type to draw on drug use at all, but the sleepless nights were getting to him. The stress of school, his social life and the basics of keeping himself alive were enough, he didn’t wanna deal with constant weariness on top of all of that.
A few days prior, he overheard a few of his classmates talking about smoking weed before going to bed, they said it helped them relax or sleep better so as soon as he went back to his dorm he did a little research. Turns out they were right.
He couldn't stop thinking about it, especially at night when he couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep, not for a long period of time anyway. His problem was so bad he saw it as a success if he slept for two hours, so he knew he needed to consider his options. And right now, he was straight up curious to try a little pot.
He didn’t know how or where to get it, but he knew someone who did.
“Come on, Chris, just this one time” He begged, putting his hands together and giving her his best puppy eyes.
“Ugh, fine” She replied annoyed “But don’t be weird about it”
“I won’t, I promise” Dalton watched excitedly as Chris pulled out her phone and sent out a text.
“What are you gonna do anyway? Paint something on acid?”
“No, just sleep” He simply said.
Chris looked at Dalton again, visibly confused “What? That’s how you’re gonna waste it?”
“No, I’m not gonna waste it, I just heard it helps with sleep so I wanna give it a try” Dalton explained almost offended, scratching his neck nervously as Chris stared at him.
“Right” She replied slowly “Do you have a pipe or something to smoke with?”
Dalton’s eyes wandered around his room “No” He didn’t really think about the preparation process.
“Well, get one” She snapped “Or I guess I can lend you one of mine if I can get your stuff for tonight”
“Tonight?” He blurted out in surprise.
“Yeah, it’s not like you asked for world peace here, relax” She stood up and started to walk out of Dalton’s dorm “I’ll let you know later though, don’t miss me too much” She said before closing the door.
Dalton pulled out his laptop and started watching videos on how to use the smoking device and other basics on how to do it for the first time. It didn’t seem too crazy, definitely nothing special, it was for a reasonable purpose anyway.
The hours went by and he kept himself busy with school work, but that didn’t stop him from checking his phone every five minutes, hoping to see Chris’ name on the screen. Nothing yet, but maybe it was for the best.
It was now nighttime and as he got a hold of his phone, he was about to text his friend asking for an update, maybe he was still on time to cancel his unusual request, but before he could open their chat he heard the door swing open.
Dalton jumped and rolled his eyes “I thought we talked about using that key…”
“Hey! Be nice, I got you a present” She squeaked, pulling a little bag out of the pocket of her hoodie.
Dalton didn’t know how to react, he thought he was excited but now he was having doubts “I… thank- thank you” He stammered. 
“Are you okay? You don’t seem thrilled about the weed you practically begged for” Chris sat on the free bed across from Dalton.
“No, I am. I’m just a little nervous, I guess” He replied, brushing his feelings off with a chuckle. He took the bag from Chris’ hand and examined it.
“You'll be okay” She dropped a few more things on Dalton’s hands, a pipe and a lighter “Now, you are gonna need these, after grinding it-”
“I know how to do it” 
“Ooh… I’m impressed” Chris teased and Dalton rolled his eyes again “Well, I hope the tutorial you found is good cause I’m gonna need these back” Standing up, she walked towards the door “Now if you excuse me, I have a bag of my own that’s not gonna go to waste” She turned around to give Dalton one last look “Go crazy, but don’t be stupid”
“Thank you!” He yelled before Chris shut the door behind her.
He went back to the video and did exactly as the guy explained. After having the grounds ready he thought about the possible outcomes, but honestly getting a full night of sleep didn’t sound so bad. Unsure on how much he should smoke, he poured the contents of the bag and packed the pipe, carefully so as to not drop anything. He held it for a moment, debating whether or not he should actually do it.
‘Fuck it’ He though to himself before grabbing the pink lighter.
He brought the pipe up to his lips and applied the flame to the end of the bowl, inhaling like in the video. He coughed after the first time, but he kept doing it, the coughs decreasing with each puff. He did it one last time and he felt… nothing, really. Was he doing it wrong? Was he scammed? He decided to give it another puff just to make sure. Still nothing.
Defeated, he dropped everything on his desk and proceeded with his bedtime routine. Grabbing his essentials for a shower, he stepped out of his room and into the communal showers. He wanted to take his time but the lack of privacy made it impossible for him to relax, so he quickly did his thing and after he was done, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stared at himself in the mirror. Did he always feel this nauseous after a shower?
“Hey, how is it going?” Some random dude greeted him as he entered the room.
‘Oh no, does he know I just smoked something?’ Without saying a word, he swiftly walked back to his dorm, feeling the judgy eyes on him. Opening the door he noticed the smell of his room, it was so strong he was worried the entire building knew about this. He opened a window to ventilate the space but when a random headache hit him, he closed it again. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, feeling anxious. What if this was his last day on earth and he was just alone in his room? 
Dalton: Hey, are you up?
Dalton texted one of his friends, Y/N. If there was someone he needed to see before dying it was her. He kept his eyes on his screen as he waited for a reply. After a minute of not getting one he grew impatient and hit the call button instead.
“Hello?”
“Did I wake you?”
“No, don't worry, I’m doing some last minute homework, you know how it is” Y/N chuckled, putting her pen down for a moment.
“Right” Dalton replied in a whisper.
“Why? What’s up?” Y/N stood up and stretched her legs, she had been sitting there for a while and her body was aching.
“I… have a situation”
“Is everything ok?” She sounded a little worried.
“I’m okay…” He stopped for a moment, not sure if he wanted her to know what he had done, honestly he just wanted to see her.
“What is it then?” She insisted.
“Promise me you won't laugh” Dalton sat up and he felt himself get dizzy again. 
“Dalton, just tell me”
“I had a little bit of weed” He finally admitted.
“What?” Y/N was in pure shock, she never thought of Dalton as a stoner.
“It's not what you think, I heard it helps with sleeping and you know my situation, uh- when it comes to that so-”
“So you had weed on a school night?” She interrupted him.
“Y/N-” 
“Sorry, uh- are you okay?” She tried to be supportive but it was hard when she had so many questions.
“Come over”
“Right now?”
“Please”
“Um- I don't know…” She hesitated looking back at her unfinished homework.
“What if I die tonight? You would feel really guilty you didn’t come over” Dalton heard Y/N sigh on the other line and he knew for a fact she was rolling her eyes.
After a moment of silence, Y/N finally agreed “Fine, but don’t die” She hung up and grabbed a few things before leaving her dorm. It was a really short walk and she didn’t think she would stay there for too long. 
When Dalton heard the confirmation from Y/N, he quickly stood up and looked through his drawers, trying to find something to wear. He was feeling hot (even though he just took a cold shower) so he decided on a tank top and shorts. His head was still spinning and unfortunately lost his balance as he finished getting dressed, but immediately got back on his feet when he heard the door.
Knocking a couple of times, she heard the loud thud coming from inside, followed by steps getting closer to the door.
“Thank you for coming” Dalton said as he opened the door.
“Are you ok-” She was interrupted by Dalton’s embrace “Oh”
They closed the door after fully entering the dorm and Y/N took Dalton’s hand, dragging him across the room to make him sit on the bed “Jesus dude, open a fucking window, I could smell this from the entrance” She joked as she struggled to open it.
“You could?” Dalton’s eyes widened and Y/N suppressed a grin, something in the softness of his voice made her heart skip a beat, completely oblivious to her own feelings. 
“How much did you have?” She then examined his desk, looking at the empty bag and the mess of burned grounds around the pipe.
“Like, the whole thing”
Y/N turned her head to look at him again “You’re kidding”
“What?” He anxiously asked.
“Dalton, you smoked this entire bag?”
“Was I not supposed to?”
“Dude-”
“Chris didn’t say anything about how much I should have so-”
“Chris gave you the weed?”
“Well… yeah, but I asked for it”
“And I take it you’ve never done this before” Dalton shook his head slowly, reaching for Y/N and taking her hand forcing her get closer, he opened his legs so that Y/N could comfortably stand between them, and as Dalton embraced her again, Y/N’s hands went to his wet hair and started brushing it with her fingers.
“I’m not feeling very good” He whispered against her.
“Yeah, I bet” She then grabbed Dalton’s head and made him look up at her, keeping her hands on the sides of his head “But you’re not gonna die, this is gonna wear off, you just have to give it time”
“Alright” Y/N chuckled at how Dalton looked like a lost puppy “I wanna lay down”
Y/N climbed on Dalton’s bed and positioned her back against the wall, helping Dalton get comfortable as he softly collapsed on her lap “So, who told you to try weed before bed?”
“No one, I heard some kids talking about it in class” He explained, closing his eyes “I didn’t want this to happen, I just- I wanted to actually sleep through the night and not feel like I was a walking corpse the next day… Well, now I would prefer that, weed does NOT make me feel relaxed at all”
Y/N smiled again. She never would’ve thought someone’s rambling could be so… endearing “I can see that, next time try to take it slow”
“Nuh uh, I’m never doing this again” He stated, using a firm tone.
Her eyes looked down at him with affection, stroking his soft hair as he rested his own eyes. And despite what he just said, he looked peaceful for the first time in a while.
“Y/N” He said softly, blinking his blue eyes open and looking at her. Whatever kind of effect he was on at that moment, he knew for sure it wasn’t from the weed.
“Mhm” Y/N hummed, smiling down at him.
“Y/N” He repeated, slower. He lifted his hand and it landed on her cheek, bringing his thumb up and down as he brushed her soft skin. She panicked as she realized what he was about to do.
He opened his mouth again, but before he could say anything Y/N quickly stopped him “If you’re going to confess something, I would very much prefer you didn’t do it under the influence of weed”
His face turned red and he closed his eyes to try to hide the embarrassment “As you wish”
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