#i’ve been working all week on school projects is it’s nice to get some fanart out of my system

[aroacebunny]

if you stay

i would even wait all night

or until my heart explodes

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jdebbiel

Deb JJ Lee is a non-binary Korean artist based in Brooklyn, NY. They have appeared in the New Yorker, New York Times, NPR, Google, Radiolab, and more. Their award-winning graphic memoir, IN LIMBO, about mental illness and difficult relationships with trauma, released in March 2023 from First Second.

Below is our interview with Deb!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

That implies I am over my art block, but I’m still in it! I think about Kiki’s Delivery Service a lot and how she had to stop doing a thing, and that you can’t really force it, and you have to let it come back to you. It’s a pretty humbling moment, realizing there is more to life than just drawing. I’ve been trying to consume other content like reading or watching movies—anything that is not drawing-related—and to trust that it will come back to me. I think not being afraid to do the small pieces before committing to the big pieces is helpful. Because big pieces are what I am known for, I dig myself into a deeper hole, thinking that each piece has to be bigger than the last one. So yeah! Relaxing and doing the small things before overcommitting to a big piece is the best way to go about it for me.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I feel like these are all artists that I have second-degree connections with! Jillian Tamaki, Victo Ngai, and Tillie Walden would be my picks!

What are your file name conventions?

…What file name conventions? I mean, I don’t have specific file name conventions, but I actually have a public Google Drive archive! But I usually put “djjl_whatever-the-title-is_final,” and I would always know it’s the final and legit version.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I did an illustration for the whiskey brand Johnnie Walker. It’s so wild because I only had four days to finish it, and it usually takes me a week and a half if I rush. And honestly, it’s probably one of my best pieces from this year, which is funny. It was for the Mid-Autumn festival, so I made it as Korean as possible.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

I only use my iPad to draw everything now, and if I want to pretend that I have a steady workstation, I’ll use my Cintiq. I still am not as comfortable on the Cintiq as I am on Procreate, but it’s still pretty solid and nice. That’s the good part about technology. The bad part about technology is how AI art has been messing things up for me. I’m currently in a lawsuit about AI art as a class rep. Some of my stuff got turned into AI art late last year, so I have to give a deposition at some point. 

What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?

Honestly, they’re all good! I feel like Lightbox Expo has been really nice because it’s truly been a convention for artists. I feel like that’s where most of my audience is, and they’re all around because their purpose is to be better at art. That’s where a lot of original artists do well because they’re getting art they’re inspired by, not so much fanart. I like the Lightbox Expo because it encompasses the pure love of art very well. 

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Use a Y axis, not just your X axis! Take advantage of it! Branding is also something to think about. It is definitely something I’m getting better at. Having an assistant is also very important. I’ve also heard that 8.5x11 to 12x18 inches is usually a good size for prints, but I also provide postcard-sized prints because sometimes people don’t want to commit to a larger size. 

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

You know this is so funny. I’ve been following @alicexz for over a decade on Tumblr and other platforms. I’ve followed her work since high school, and we’ve only recently become peers. I found her, and we met for the first time in real life, and she recognized me. And then I found all my drawings from when I was in my Alice phase, back in high school, and I was like, “Yo, this is when I was trying to be you so badly!” and she was cracking up and was like “Wow, this is so good!” It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to take a picture of her holding my drawing up. It’s really nice because now we’re peers.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Deb! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jdebbiel.

[travoltacustom]

HYPNOSIS MICROPHONE 4TH INTERNATIONAL POLL (DECEMBER 2020) Part 6: Fandom and the Future of HypMic

Thank you for your participation! These are the final results for the 4th Hypnosis Microphone International Poll. After months of work on this, we have estimates for general fandom opinions. Do you agree or disagree with the general opinions? Please let us know!

The results were held back from original posting as we were waiting to post for a month before the 2nd DRB finals (which is on Doppo’s Birthday this year.) My deepest apologies for how long this took to get out. We will be releasing these results with a section per day, with the end of these results showing the Japanese side.

Click the READ MORE to view the results.

PREFACE

The data collection for this poll received 902 votes to give us an indication of the demographic of those who consume Hypnosis Mic. This poll was open to English speakers, and thus, results may be considerably Euro/American-centric. The word ‘international’ has been used to refer to how fans are from many places around the world, but the poll may also refer to this group as ‘English-speaking’ etc. The Japanese poll had a smaller respondent pool with 400.

This poll received the most activity through Twitter, given that the series is most active on that platform. The poll was also posted on Tumblr, Facebook and the HypMic wiki. Commentary has been given on sections of the poll. These results will be available in full on from this account. The Japanese poll results shall follow about a week with comparison to this poll.

The poll was conducted from December 2020 to January 2021. This poll is UNOFFICIAL and none of the composers of this poll have any relation to King Records whatsoever.

This has been split into MULTIPLE posts due to the amount of data and limitations of tumblr.

PART 6: Miscellaneous Questions

Respondents were allowed to select up to 3 characters.

As we were processing these results, all characters have received some part of character development.

Did MTR deserve the 1st DRB win?

YES, Matenro did deserve the 1st DRB win: 73.1%

NO, Matenro did not deserve the 1st DRB win: 26.9%

Did FP deserve the Rule the Stage DRB win?

YES, Fling Posse did deserve the Rule the Stage DRB win: 83.9%

NO, Fling Posse did not deserve the Rule the Stage DRB win: 16.1%

Who do you believe will win the 2nd DRB? This was not a ‘who do you WANT to win’ question.

CANNOT DECIDE: 23.9%

Fling Posse: 21.7%

MAD TRIGGER CREW: 17%

Dotsuitare Honpo: 14.6%

Matenro: 9.6%

Bad Ass Temple: 8.4%

Buster Bros!!!: 4.7%

Who do you think will win BB vs DH, MTC vs FP, MTR vs BAT?

Dotsuitare Honpo VS Buster Bros!!!

Dotsuitare Honpo: 56.3%

Buster Bros!!!: 31.1%

Can’t Decide: 12.6%

Bad Ass Temple VS Matenro

Bad Ass Temple: 33.4%

Matenro: 50.8%

Can’t Decide: 15.9%

Fling Posse VS MAD TRIGGER CREW

Fling Posse: 44.8%

MAD TRIGGER CREW: 41.5%

Can’t Decide: 13.7%

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE IN THE MAIN PLOT OF HYPMIC?

With 902 responses, we decided not to do a table of these as we’ve already showed which characters respondents wanted to be explored more. However, we will show ‘interesting’ points that we’ve found.

INTERESTING RESPONSES

Exploration of the pre H-era Japan, what caused the war and what the war was like.

Exploration of post WW3 / H-era Japan with politics, society etc.

More female characters as either part of Chuohku, rebellion etc. Possible mixed gender crews

Revolution/rebellion against Chuohku. Referred to as “a SUMMIT OF DIVISIONS moment in canon” and later governmental reform.

Why was the Hypnosis Mic created and more on its development.

In depth explanation as to what happens after being mindhacked.

General insight into more than backstories but their daily lives and possibly romantic lives.

Introduction of more divisions / return of old characters to form new divisions

Another anime season; a proper adaptation of the manga

Why were the Yamadas ‘orphaned/abandoned/separated’ from Rei? Why did Ichiro hide what happened?

BB’s Mother/Rei’s partner - did something bad happen to her?

Jyuto’s past - how he used to be when his parents and partner were still alive.

Why did Jyuto interrogate Doppo?

Does Samatoki feel guilty for blaming Ichiro? Does he feel resentment towards Ramuda even though he figures that he was ordered to do this?

Jakurai’s history as an assassin

More on Yotsutsuji and Jakurai’s relationship

Jakurai and Hitoya’s friendship and how it ‘fell apart’

Who is the original Ramuda and why were the clones created?

Others finding out about the Ramuda clones.

Hifumi and Doppo’s childhood/highschool years.

How did Doppo’s depression get so bad?

The Dirty Dawg’s reconciliation

MAD COMIC DIALOGUE / Ichiro & Kuko / Samatoki & Sasara talking things out and addressing what happened

OTHER RESPONSES

Many responses of just “yes”, “):” “I’m” and “...”, but most importantly “I’m just kind of here for the ride”

There are many that are begging for angst, character death and “chaos”. Some have wished suffering upon certain characters but these will not be disclosed.

“For all of them to get therapy tbh”

“LGBTQ”

“A more complex plot”

“fun and crazy things”

Mentions of ships becoming canon: Hifumi x Doppo, Sasara x Rosho

There were accusations of HPMI being “sexist/misogynistic/not feminist enough” that went on to describe things that have already been addressed.

“I just wanna see Ichiro yelling “fuck you” to his dad”

Otome being Buster Bros!!! mom as well, or that she had some relationship with Rei.

“more test tube babies”

“More Doppo screams”

“(...) Whether or not Rei is worth saving or if I should just rip his tits off (...)”

“An explanation for (why) Rei is Like That”

“Rei vs the rest of the cast just because Mastermind boss battle”

“rei boobs”

“man I just hope they have a nice day. I would like to know about Kuko more :) hes funky and i think that's neat hope hes having a nice day :)))“

“More Kuko feet”

ADDRESSED REPONSES: Responses that have been answered/addressed during the 2nd DRB dramatracks to some degree.

Buster Bros!!! fighting with Rei

Jiro and Saburo no longer being dependent on Ichiro

Jiro and Saburo’s relationship being repaired / seeing eye to eye.

Jyuto’s backstory with the drug problem

How is Ramuda able to participate in the DRB if he’s being hunted down

Gentaro’s identity and brother/family.

Dice confronting Otome

Jakurai coming to Chuohku’s side

Hifumi’s trauma and who Honobono is. (Note: I hope you guys are okay after this one)

Sasara’s time as a gangster with Samatoki

Sasara/Rosho dependency

Nemu being freed from her mindhack/will she be freed.

Is Yotsutsuji still alive/comatose?

WHY DID YOU GET INTO HYPMIC?

Of 902 responses, 166 responses mentioned a character by name or song. Not all characters were mentioned but of the ones mentioned, each was mentioned:

Of 902 responses, 47 mentioned a division by name or song. Each were mentioned:

Fling Posse: 11 times

Bad Ass Temple: 9 times

Buster Bros!!! 7 times

Chuohku: 6 times

Dotsuitare Honpo: 4 times

Matenro: 3 times

Of 902 responses, 43 mentioned a seiyuu. Each were mentioned:

Here are some ‘notable’ reasons people got into HypMic:

“That's a loaded question buddy, assuming I went into this willingly. (...)”

“(...) I love how hypmic combined Male Idols, (Jojo) Stands, and a whole lot of angst in a project (with some fluff here and there).”

“Riou’s tits”

“Because I hated seeing it everywhere so I decided to learn about it before I hate it more. I've fallen deep into this hell.”

“ensemble stars made me v upset”

“I saw bald Ramuda plushie and wanted to know more about him”

“I saw Jakurai and went OOGA BOOGA.

“honestly i saw some fanart of doppo with the fattest and most juiciest ass ever and i was immediately interested, but unfortunately doppo cannonically has a concave ass and jakurai doing a brazillian butt lift on doppo’s ass cannot save it </3 i still love him though”

“Haha pretty rapper bois go brr”

“I'm gay”

“someone was hating on it on twitter and i decided to download arb”

“friend of mine told me to install enstars game, so i installed hypmic”

“I downloaded one of the songs without knowing what it was from for a two week trip into the buttfuck middle of nowhere Wyoming for a school trip in 11th grade and it’s one of the only things that kept me sane”

“Because Jakurai was a hot milf “

“Ice cream spoons”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

To see the next part with comparison to the JP fandom, please follow us to the next post. To view ideas on the series’ production, go back to the previous post.

PREVIOUS | NEXT - NOTE: WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW THEN LINKED HERE

[giuliafc]

Nightmares

Written by: JuliaFC

Betas: Khanofallorcs, Agrestebug, Etoile-Lead-Sama and Genxha. Thank you all so much!

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by (c) Thomas Astruc, TS1 Bouygues, Disney Channel, Zagtoon, Toei Animation. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Written for the Facebook h/c group “Hurt/Comfort Italia - Fanart and Fanfiction - GRUPPO NUOVO | Groups | Facebook”, weekend challenge, “Atonement 2.0”. I was asked to write a *coughs* drabble about character A being stuck somewhere and character B having to help them. If you speak/read Italian and are interested in the genre, join us! We’ll be glad to see you! 

                                                       oOoOoOoOoOo

The sound of her frantic whimpers woke him up. He looked around wildly and, at first, panicked because he didn’t recognise anything. It took him a few minutes to realise that it was Nino’s lounge. He was sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor. 

Yes, the memories of the day before came back in a flash. 

~~That morning~~

Marinette looked very tired that morning at school. Alya looked at her worriedly and told her that she shouldn’t stay awake all night working on projects all the time. She needed to sleep. So she acted instinctively, as she usually did, and decided that the only way that they could ensure that Marinette would have a full night of sleep was to be physically there to check up on her. Easy as pie. Alya was a master organiser when she had something in her mind. And she had decided that she wanted Marinette to have a sleepover with them at Nino’s. So in literally five minutes she cleared her schedule and Nino’s, rang Tom and Sabine and asked them for permission to ‘kidnap Marinette for a night’ and organised for Nora to look after Chris and the twins. 

Marinette tried to complain. She really did her best to get out of the situation. But Adrien didn’t like that. Exactly like Alya, even he worried about the growing bags under Marinette’s eyes, and about how easily she fell asleep during their school day. She looked exhausted. He had asked her a couple of times in the last few weeks to slow down, because he really didn’t like how tired she looked. It seemed as though every time after, he saw her coming to school looking more exhausted than before. This time she literally fell asleep the second Mlle. Bustier’s lesson started and stayed asleep (aided by the fact that he and Alya explained to their teacher that Marinette’s health would benefit from the nap) for the whole lesson. 

So when Marinette tried to complain about not wanting to take part in the sleepover and tried to get out of it, Adrien blatantly lied. He hated lying, and he wouldn't do it normally (except to protect his identity, of course), but Marinette was too dear a friend for him to worry about menial ethical concerns. 

“It’s a shame that you don’t want to have a sleepover, Marinette,” he said. “I just texted Nathalie and she gave me permission to come too. But if you’re not going to be there, then the sleepover is usel—” He beamed when Marinette interrupted him.

“Oh no, you’re okay,” she muttered. “I mean, it’s okay. You’re perfect. I mean, it’s perfect. Yes, you’re not perfect, that would be weird. But mareding, I mean amazing. If you’ll be there, I’ll marry you, I mean I’ll come with you. Yes. Of course. I’ll be there. Right. Definitely!”

“Cool!” He gave her a soft look and took hold of her hand, causing Marinette’s face to flush deep red. “I’m looking forward to it, then!”

Alya and Nino looked at him with wide eyes, and Nino walked him to his car on purpose to ask him, “Did you really get permission for..”

“Nope,” he admitted. “But I will find a way. I may not get there very early and I may need to leave at the crack of dawn, but I’ll be there, Nino. See you tonight!”

When he closed the door of the sedan and was waiting patiently to return home, Plagg peeked out of the pocket of his shirt to give him a curious stare. “How are you going to pull this off, gamin?” 

“I’ll pretend to have a migraine, go to bed and sneak out as Chat Noir.”

Plagg raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Where is my holder? Tell the aliens to give him back to me. He buys me the best of cheese,” he asked. When Adrien gave him a dubious look, Plagg continued, “No, honestly. I’ve never seen you rebelling like this before. I'm proud of you, Adrien!”

Adrien chuckled. “Ha, thank you, buddy. It’s not rebellion. It’s just—”

“What?” interrupted the little furball.

Adrien sighed. “I’m worried for Marinette. I knew that she would agree to the sleepover if I was going to be there.” Plagg raised an eyebrow so Adrien blushed a little and looked away. “Don’t look at me like that. She’s always wanted me to get some freedom and experience things, so I knew she wasn’t going to give up on the opportunity to make me experience a sleepover.”

“Ah, okay,” commented Plagg. “Go figure…”

So that evening Adrien put his plan into action and, for once, everything went smoothly. At exactly nine o’clock he pretended to have a migraine and locked himself in his room, transformed into Chat Noir, turned his shower on in the bathroom (just in case. After all, Nathalie had a master key to all the rooms in the mansion!) and left to reach Nino.

He didn’t get disappointed. They had great fun playing a couple of games before going to bed. They even had a pillow fight, because Adrien had always wanted to do one. Then, nice and early (so that Marinette could get as much rest as possible), Alya set up four sleeping bags in the lounge and they all went to bed. 

It didn’t take long for Marinette to fall asleep. He kept a watchful eye on her and saw that she tossed back and forth a few times. She also muttered things to herself a little bit, but in a matter of minutes, she was gone. Adrien smiled and exchanged conspiratory looks with Nino and Alya, happy that their plan had worked. Hopefully, it meant that finally Marinette would get some sleep.

A moment later, though, he raised an eyebrow as Nino and Alya got up from their sleeping bag. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, a little surprised.

“Not to be funny, Sunshine, but Nino’s bed is much more comfortable than the floor and we would also like some privacy. So if you don’t mind…” Alya winked at him. “Would you look after Marinette for us?” They hadn’t even waited for him to say yes before walking away.

“Huh, great friends they are,” commented Plagg. “But at least I can get out from your pocket.”

“Be careful, though, Plagg. If they come back, or if Marinette wakes up, I don’t want anyone to see you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay inside the sleeping bag,” retorted Plagg. 

It didn’t take long after that for Adrien to fall asleep.

~~End of Flashback~~ 

But now, the sound of whimpers and muffled cries woke him up. He looked around, wondering if Alya and Nino had come back, but their sleeping bags were empty. There was only one person who could be whimpering, then. 

He quickly got up and moved closer to Marinette. Her eyes were closed, but she was tossing and turning, the sweat pumping out of her. She was white as a sheet. 

“She must be having a nightmare,” whispered Plagg, floating sleepily out of the sleeping bag and reaching the pocket of his pyjamas top. 

“I know,” whispered Adrien. “Should I wake her up?” At Plagg’s agreement, he called out to her a bit louder, grabbing her shoulders and giving her a small shake, “Marinette? Marinette?”

“Nnnnnnnnnh, no, please,” Marinette was muttering. “You're wrong! I'm not Marinette! It's impossible, I never told you anything!”

Adrien’s eyes went wide. What kind of nightmare was she having? Why was she saying that she wasn’t Marinette? “Marinette? Please, it’s me! Wake up!”

“Nnnnnno! Don’t touch me, chaton, please!” she screamed and of course Adrien let her go and sat on his knees, his heart pounding in his chest. 

“Chaton?” He sucked his breath in, his heart in his throat. Was she really talking to him or was she still dreaming? Had she figured him out? And if she hadn’t, why on Earth was she having nightmares about Chat Noir?

“It-it’s time to de-evil—” she started to say and then she crouched on herself, as if she was trying to duck a hit. 

Plagg moved a little closer to Marinette and stared with massive concern at the girl asleep on the floor. His gaze darted from the sleeping girl to the stunned face of Adrien, and the boy could clearly see that his kwami was worried. No, worried wasn’t the right word. He was terrified. 

“Never! LUCKY CHARM!” shouted Marinette and then she erupted into a massive scream that drained all blood from Adrien’s face. His heart skipped several beats as Alya and Nino ran in the room giving Plagg barely enough time to zip back behind Adrien’s head.

“What’s going on, Sunshine?” asked Alya running next to him.

“I-I don’t know. She started talking in her sleep and screaming, I think she’s having a nightmare but I couldn’t wake her up. I don’t know what else to do!”

Alya put a hand to her chin and frowned. "She had mentioned a couple of times that she was having nightmares. I wonder if that’s what has been keeping her awake or making her so tired. I’ll go make some camomile tea, for when she wakes up. You don’t move away from her, Sunshine. Nino, come with me.”

Adrien gave them a grateful look as they walked out of the lounge. “Plagg?” he asked after a moment. The little black kwami came out of his hiding place and gave him a sheepish look. “Don’t look at me like this, Plagg. Have you maybe failed to mention that—”

“OKAY! OKAY! I'LL GIVE YOU MY MIRACULOUS, CHAT NOIR!” 

“Plagg!” Adrien put his hands into his hair. By now he knew that it couldn’t be an accident. The gravity of his discovery hit him like a big punch in the stomach. Marinette was Ladybug. There was no other explanation for what he’d just heard. But he didn’t have a chance to panic about it. The realisation hit him that his Lady was having a nightmare. A nightmare about facing… him? Chat Noir? Wanting to steal her Miraculous? Why was his Lady tormented with nightmares where he was an akuma? He looked at her again and saw that she was crying in her sleep. His heart broke. “What’s going on? What is she talking about? I’ve never b—”

“You will always be Chat Noir to me.” The way she said it. The sentiment that vibrated in each and every word. Tears were starting to worm their way out of the corner of Adrien’s eyes as he grabbed Marinette’s shoulders firmly and gave her a big, massive shake.

“BUGINETTE! Can you hear me? Please wake up! Wake up please!” He hugged her and couldn’t stop sobbing. “Please, My Lady. Please wake up…”

As he kept hugging her and gently patting her hair with his hands, he felt her body relaxing before tensing again. Until suddenly, she started hugging him back.

“Chaton?” she whispered. “Is that you?”

He broke the hug and looked her in the eye. He saw the surprise in her gaze and how wide her eyes and how pale her face had become. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand.

“It’s me, yes. Hi,” he said tentatively and waved nervously. 

She sucked her breath in and gasped loudly. “I must still be dreaming. Yes, that’s it. I’m still asleep. Now I’m going to pinch my hand and I will wake up still laying in my sleeping bag and you will be sleeping too and nothing will have happened and I will just think of how stupid I have been in having yet another silly nightmare with Chat Blanc and… oh my God, usually I just see what had happened in the future again, not wake up with Adrien hugging me and claiming to be Chat Noir; it must be because I’m at this sleepover, and he’s sleeping in the same room as me, and I must have mixed things up and—”

As she was saying all that avalanche of words, Alya and Nino came back inside the lounge, carrying four mugs of piping hot herbal tea. Alya sat down with her legs crossed next to Adrien and cautiously gave the mug she held in her right hand to Marinette.

“What are you rambling about, girl? Here, have some camomile, it helps against nightmares.”

They sat down in silence.  Nino gave Adrien another mug full of piping hot liquid.

Marinette’s gaze was literally glued into Adrien’s, her face as white as a sheet. She absentmindedly took a sip and winced, forgetting just how hot camomile could get. She started blowing gently on the liquid, but her eyes never lost sight of him. 

“Sorry, Alya, I was having a nightmare,” she said eventually. “That’s why I didn’t want to come to the sleepover. I… I’ve been having nightmares for some time now.”

“What kind of nightmares, girl? I didn’t understand what you were saying, but you were screaming bloody murder a moment ago. Luckily, Chris is at my house with the twins, or we would have had three overtired children to deal with by now.”

Marinette moved her gaze briefly and met Alya’s worried brown eyes. “Sorry, Alya. My nightmares are nothing special, something about me failing my exams and my commissions. Nothing to worry about.”

Adrien glared at her. He knew that she had to lie, but he still didn’t like it when she lied that blatantly. “Are these nightmares the reason why you’re so tired?” he asked, sniffling a little. He couldn’t stop the mad pounding of his heart.

“Ah, no, don’t worry. I’ve just worn myself out too much recently, that’s all.” She made a dismissive gesture and smiled nervously. Right. As if he bought that. He and his Lady would need to have quite a long chat, as soon as—

Marinette put the cup back down on the ground, empty. “Thank you for the camomile, Alya. I feel better now. Shall we go back to sleep?”

Alya yawned and picked up the mug from the ground, standing up in a gracious gesture. “Are you sure you will be okay?”

“Yes I will, don’t worry. You and Nino go back to bed.” She smiled when Alya gave her a sheepish look. Marinette eyed her amusedly and continued, “Did you think I hadn’t realised you were gone?” She chuckled a little and a light blush dusted her cheeks. “You two go back to doing whatever you were doing. Don’t worry about me; Adrien’s here.”

Adrien saw clearly how Marinette winced when Alya’s eyes grew wide. To what must have been her great scorn, rather than going away as she had been asked to, Alya moved closer to Marinette. She sat back down crossed legged next to her and put a hand on her forehead. “Okay, where have you put my Marinette? Give her back, please.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Marinette, plucking Alya’s hand from her forehead and moving it back to her friend’s lap.

Alya folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. “Do you need to ask? We come back in the room and find you in Adrien’s arms muttering nonsensical stuff that we couldn’t even understand,” said Alya as Adrien took a big sigh of relief that neither of their friends had truly heard the secrets spilling out of Marinette's nightmare. “Then you don’t stutter at all in his presence and you dismiss us saying that you’re okay because you’re with him? Tell the aliens that I want my girl back. Please.”

Marinette blushed deep red, lowering her gaze to the floor. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m tired and want to go back to sleep. So if you don’t mind, Alya…”

Alya sighed. “Okay, okay, I got the message.” She got up again and gave her a look full of mischief. “I’ll leave you to it, then. Good luck!” Then she grabbed Nino by the arm and walked straight out, turning the light off. 

They waited for a few minutes in the darkness, still like salt statues, listening carefully to ensure that Alya and Nino were really gone. After a few minutes of waiting, Adrien stood up and went to the door. He put an ear to the door and then looked at Marinette with an annoyed frown on his face. He slammed the door open and Alya and Nino both fell on the ground. 

“Ouch, what was that for, Sunshine?” complained Alya.

Adrie sighed. “I thought Marinette told you to go to bed.”

Alya smiled nervously. “Uh, yes, we were just…”

“Picking something from the floor,” muttered Nino at the same time as Adrien said, “...spying on us. Do you think we don’t know your ways, Alya?”

Alya looked at both her friends sheepishly. “I know, sorry. We’ll go to bed now.”

“You’d better, Alya, I’m tired!” said Marinette with an exaggerated yawn. Alya and Nino waved goodnight and Adrien closed the door. He stayed near the door for a few minutes, tapping his foot on the floor nervously. Then he opened the door again. This time everything was clear. He closed the door and sighed. 

He turned around and, without looking at Marinette in the eye, went back in front of her and sat down, legs crossed. His fingers started fidgeting with the silver ring on his right ring finger, bringing Marinette’s attention to it. He started slipping it off his finger, but gasped when Marinette grabbed his hand and stopped his gesture, wrapping his hands with hers firmly.

“Don’t you dare,” she commanded. He gulped, the grip that had already held his throat since he’d discovered the truth became even more painful. He breathed heavily, his hands falling listlessly on his lap. 

“Who’s Chat Blanc?” he eventually asked. “Is he the reason why you’re so tired?”

Marinette sighed. She started fiddling with her own fingers now and looking at her hands with great interest. “Chat Blanc is… you. In another timeline you were somehow akumatised. I would rather not talk about it, minou, it’s not a nice memory of mine.”

“I’m sorry,” he muttered and grabbed her hand, causing her to give a startled gasp. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly. Marinette’s face lit like a lightbulb and she gave him the expression he had been so used to seeing on her face up to then, that sort of grimace between a smile and a cringe that she reserved only for him. “I wish I could do something to help. I don’t even remember having been akumatised in the first place. When did th—,” he started, but then he gasped and put a hand on his mouth, his cheeks dusting slightly with pink. “Uh, sorry M’lady, you didn’t want to talk about it.”

Tikki flew between them and started floating right in front of Marinette’s face. “Although maybe you should, Marinette.” Marinette hugged herself and started rocking back and forth. Her eyes filled with tears as she sniffled loudly and shook her head in denial. Tikki sighed. “Really, Marinette, you’ve been having horrible nightmares for months. You can’t get it out of your head. Discussing it with him could—”

“NO!” said Marinette louder. “I’m so useless, Tikki. I had promised to myself to never let him know about it at all, and here I am, revealing myself to him because of a nightmare about his akumatised self that he doesn’t know anything about. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to him, to taunt him with a future that doesn’t exist. He doesn’t deserve it!”

“But talking about it can help you, Marinette. Adrien is your friend, he’s been worried for you. Alya and Nino have been worried for you. You know that this is the reason why Alya organised this sleepover. You haven’t slept more than an hour or two per night for months. You keep burning the candle at both ends. You’re taking on a burden as massive as the memory of this timeline, and the nightmares that came from it, all on your shoulders without asking for any help. It’s not healthy.”

“B-but I don’t want to burden him with it, he’s got enough in his plate already!”

Adrien cleared his throat causing both Marinette and Tikki to turn towards him. “‘He’ has a name, Marinette, and ‘he’ would love to support you and help you, you know? Me and you against the world, that’s how it’s always been, right, Buginette? Why do you never trust me with anything?”

Marinette paled, giving him a terrified look that broke his heart a little. “So-sorry, I do trust you, Adrien. I trust you with my life on a daily basis.”

“Only because I force you to, by putting myself between you and the danger. But you’ve never trusted me with anything else.” He pouted.

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? You’re sure of that?” She gave him a tongue-in-cheek look and folded her arms on her chest. He gulped and his gaze fell.

“Uh, I know what you mean. The New York incident. You know who I am now; you know that I couldn’t not go. And you were the one to make it happen for me. I did try to ask my father if I could stay, but he had already packed my bags.” He saw her raising an eyebrow at him and pouted again. 

“It’s not the fact that you went on the trip that disappointed me, Adrien, but the fact that you never told me anything.” 

He blushed and was going to retort something. But then, he saw the disapproving glare that Tikki was addressing to Marinette and he gasped, realising what she was doing. “Don’t change the subject, Marinette. You’re trying to distract me, aren’t you? I have already apologised for not having told you anything when we went to New York. You promised me after that incident that you would try to trust me more. Why are you breaking your promise, Buginette?”

Marinette’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m not breaking my promise!”

“You are! You’re not letting me help you. I can see that you’re hurting, Marinette. I had been feeling that there was something wrong for weeks, and now I feel as if I’m only seeing the tip of the iceberg of what’s troubling you. It must have been a really traumatic experience. I want to help you. I’m your partner, right? You said so many times that we’re equals?” He put a hand on her chin and forced her to look up. Her face gained a deep shade of crimson when bluebell eyes met forest green. 

“You are my equal, chaton, and I do trust you. It’s just… just…” She cupped her hands on her face and started sobbing loudly. He reacted on instinct and moved closer, wrapping her up in a tight embrace. He felt Marinette tensing for a moment under his touch, but immediately after, she relaxed and hugged him back. She cried for a very long time, her muffled sobs and his tentative ‘shhhh’ the only sounds that could be heard in the silence of the lounge. 

“It happened three months ago,” she eventually whispered. “The day of your fifth name day celebration, remember?” He nodded quietly. “Bunnyx came to me a little after I left your room and brought me to this future where the world had been destroyed. You had even Cataclysmed the moon. The entire city was underwater and you were sitting atop Montparnasse tower, alone. You were completely white, including your hair, and had these icy blue eyes that shone with madness. You attacked me and tried to get my Miracu—”

He gasped loudly and broke the hug, looking at her with his eyes wide. “I attacked you? I would never attack you!”

“You were an akuma, Adrien. You had destroyed the world. You had… you had Cataclysmed Hawkmoth. And me. I found what I thought were the statues of myself and Hawkmoth underwater and when I touched them they shred into powder. You said it had been an accident.”

Adrien started breathing hard. “This doesn’t make any sense! Why would I Cataclysm Hawkmoth and you? I thought Hawkmoth gave orders to the akumas, they’re his champions. How can an akuma possibly kill him?” He put his hands into his hair. “No, no, no! I would never Cataclysm you, Buginette. Never. After what I did to Aeon,” he started, but Plagg appeared from his hiding spot and flew to his face. 

“It’s happened once in history already where an akuma created by the Butterfly holder fought back. Hawkmoth no doubt severely underestimated the power of the Black Cat Miraculous, gamin.”

“Hi, Plagg,” said Marinette when the little God of Destruction finished speaking.

“Hi, Pigtails. Where has Sugarcube g—?” Plagg looked around, but he didn’t manage to finish what he was saying, because something red zipped to him and wrapped him in a hug. 

“I’m here, Stinkysock.” She let go of him after a few moments and looked at Adrien. “You’re right in what you’re saying, Adrien. She’s been terribly traumatised. She can hardly sleep at night.”

Adrien’s worried gaze went from Tikki’s concerned eyes to his maskless partner. “You faced hundreds of Akumas, Marinette. Why was I any—”

“You really need to ask?” she interrupted him. She glared, her eyes full of tears that she wiped angrily with the back of her hand. “It was you. The other akumas don’t matter to me, chaton. You do. You mean the world to me.”

‘You will always be Chat Noir to me,’ he remembered her saying just before she woke up. His heart started pounding in his chest again. 

“Every time I close my eyes I see those icy blue orbs staring coldly at me. You were calling me with my name, so you knew who I was. And you told me that our love had destroyed the world. 

His face felt suddenly very hot as his heart took residence in his throat. “Our… love?” he said in a choked whisper. 

“You told me that your heart was broken, that because I didn’t love you anymore then you would destroy yourself, me, our memories, everything. You tried hitting me with a really powerful Cataclysm that you were throwing at me like a blast of energy from your hands. That’s usually when I wake up, but I think this time I reached the end, or nearly. I only woke up because you hugged and then shook me.”

Adrien’s brain had switched off hearing Marinette say ‘I didn’t love you anymore’. He didn’t hear anything else. “You love me?” he asked out of the blue. Marinette’s face turned crimson.

“Uuuuh… you see, the b-boy I was telling you about when we fought Glaciator?” He nodded. “That b-boy was you. Adrien-you. I fell in love with you when you gave me your umbrella.” She sniffled. “A-and to be honest, recently the line between Chat Noir being my partner and me having feelings towards him had become so thin that I couldn’t see it anymore. I was terrified to love my minou because of what I had seen in the future but… I couldn’t stop myself. I have been so confused since we came back from New York, chaton. I still loved Adrien, my heart was doing somersaults every time I caught you looking at me in class, but I couldn’t help being fond of my partner. Not after having nearly lost him. I tried to forget you both by dating Luka and trying to reciprocate his feelings, but it was going nowhere. We broke up a couple of weeks ago.”

Adrien pinned his elbows on his thighs, passing both his hands in his hair. He was trying very hard to ignore the sudden jolt of happiness that ran through his very being the second she said that she was, in fact, in love with him. All of him. She loved Chat Noir-him and Adrien-him. And she had just recently broken up with Luka, so she was available. How had he managed to hit the jackpot so perfectly? His heart was fluttering on its own little spot between cloud nine and ten, but the matter at bait now was that his Lady had been having nightmares. About him. The akuma version of him he didn’t even know that existed. And those nightmares had been taunting her sleep and exhausting her. He could squeeze her into his arms and kiss her senseless later. 

“This is so messed up! So in that universe we were together and you broke up with me. I freaked out and got akumatised,” he said.

“Essentially, yes, I think.” She sighed. “I don’t know what happened, but it must have left you devastated.”

He grabbed her hand and forced her to look at him in the eye moving her chin towards him with the other hand. “You left me. That’s what happened. My heart broke.” He said that with such determination that Marinette couldn’t dismiss it. “I can relate with myself on that.” 

It made total sense. Absolute and total sense. Yes, the fact that she left him broke his…

Hang on a second. Marinette paled as her eyes widened. “Y-your heart b-broke? Because I left you?”

“Aha. That’s what akuma-me told you, right? You know that I love you, My Lady. My heart breaks a little every time that you reject me. I don’t know if I could take you breaking up with me.”

Marinette’s heart went into her ears. Then, what he said registered in her brain and she noted that he had said, ‘My Lady.’ She deflated and slumped her shoulders.

“Right. Yes, chaton. I know you love your Lady.”

What happened? Adrien frowned as he scrutinised Marinette’s pout. Was she disappointed that he loved her? But she had said that she loved him too. What was the issue? He had felt the tension building within her and she had looked happy for a fraction of a second and then, out of the blue, her mood had changed. He saw her eyes filling with tears and his heart sank. What had he done wrong? Why was she upset? He kept going through what she had said, and what he had said, trying to find a clue, a reason why her mood had changed so much. Then, it suddenly struck him. 

“Oh no… no no no no no, Marinette. You’re Ladybug. You’re the one I love.”

“I know you love Ladybug, Adrien. Don’t dig the blade deeper, please.” Her spiteful tone was the last clue he needed.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a shake. “Marinette, how many times did I tell you how amazing and great you are? How many times I praised you the same way Chat Noir praises Ladybug? God, I also called you my Everyday Ladybug once! You’re Ladybug, Marinette. Ladybug is you. You’re not a different entity from her, you’re her. Now it’s so clear that I really don’t understand how I didn’t see it before!” Her gaze was still looking down, the sparkle in her eyes completely absent.

“Please,” she muttered. “I’ve always been ‘just a friend’ until you discovered I’m Ladybug.”

His heart sank. His gaze started darting around, not knowing where to focus. He tried to say something at least four times, but every time he opened his mouth he changed his mind about what he wanted to say. Eventually, he met Plagg’s electric green eyes. The black kwami raised an eyebrow and folded his paws over his little chest. Adrien blushed and looked away. He knew what he had to do. He took a big breath and looked at her.

“You have never been just a friend for me, Marinette.” He felt his face getting really hot, but he knew that he had to say it. The time had come for him to tell the truth. He gulped. “Plagg can confirm what I say. He’s always been frustrated with me because I didn’t get it, and when I got it, it was too late and you had started dating Luka.” 

He cringed at the sound of his own voice, so hoarse that he could hardly recognise it himself. “Rejection stings. Ladybug rejected Chat Noir’s advances so many times that it bruised my heart. I-I didn’t want to be rejected again, and by you, and ruin our friendship. Our friendship is so important to me; you’re my first friend. You’re so precious to me, Marinette.” He looked at her briefly; she stared back with glassy eyes, a big frown on her beautifully flushed face. “So I kept my mouth shut. But lately it has been getting more and more difficult to keep away from you, especially after New York. I was so happy when we had that dance under the moonlight. Somehow I felt that I still had a chance. But then,” his voice cracked, “when you didn’t stop me from leaving, I got heartbroken. I felt that both girls I loved had abandoned me.” 

She gasped loudly. He fell silent for a long time, trying to fight the tears that were prickling at the corner of his eyes and the sobs that were itching to pour out of his clenched throat. “Little did I kn—” he tried to continue, but he had to stop. He couldn’t see anything any more because of the tears that were falling off his eyes. His throat had completely shut and didn’t allow his voice to come out. He wiped his eyes with the back of his right hand as his bottom lip quivered badly and the sobs he had been trying to hold came out, loud and clear. He panicked and his gaze darted around, the shapes of his surroundings dancing in front of him following the flow of his tears. When his green eyes met her bluebell ones, he saw that she was crying too. As soon as their gazes met, Marinette jumped on him and wrapped him in a massive hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” she cried as she hugged him, and he hugged her back, desperately, as if he was being billowed away by a tornado and she was his only handhold. “I was shocked because Chat Noir—uh, you—had given up your Miraculous and I couldn’t think straight. By the time I gathered my thoughts again, your car had started to go. I ran after you for ages, Adrien, I picked up a bike lying on the tarmac and I followed your car screaming at you to stop. But the rain had made the ground slippery and I fell. And you were gone. That was the worst moment of my life! I had lost the two boys I loved the most in the entire world.” Now her voice was hoarse and cracking too. “I’m so sorry, chaton. I messed up so much!”

They hugged for a long time, happily lulling each other in the warmth and sensations that the close proximity to the other gave. Adrien’s hand was patting Marinette’s hair gently, the delicate smell of coconut (probably her shampoo) intoxicating his senses. He had to physically prevent himself from sniffing her neck. She smelled of vanilla and baked goods, maybe a hint of wildflower. It was absolutely divine. As he passed his fingers through her hair, he undid her pigtails and happily plunged his fingers in the soft silkiness of her corvine strands. The rhythmic sound of her breathing was grounding him, regulating him and helping him calm down. 

“Can I kiss you?” he eventually asked. He felt her tensing at the question and regretted having asked. Maybe it was too early for her? Maybe she wanted more time to get used to the idea? “I-if you don’t want, it’s okay, you don’t have to.” 

She broke the hug and looked at him, giving him such a soft look that his insides melted as a tingle running through his whole spine. But when she moved quickly and removed all gaps, meeting his lips with hers, the tingle was renewed in its strength. The butterflies (the right kind of butterflies) took residence in his stomach as he deepened the kiss. He felt his heart explode from the surge of electricity that ran through his core when Marinette, after a little gasp, allowed him to. Her hands moved to his hair, and Adrien learned that he really liked Marinette’s hands combing through his bangs.

Then, as suddenly as their lips had met, they had to break the kiss to breathe. They looked at each other, panting hard. Adrien touched his forehead tenderly with Marinette’s and stroked her cheek with his thumb. 

“I love you, chaton,”  Marinette whispered in his ear, causing him to shiver. He held her stronger and placed a soft kiss on her temple. 

“I love you too, Marinette.” He stroked her hair gently some more. “Can I sleep next to you? I promise I will be a gentleman. I-i just want to feel you next to me.”

Marinette nodded and they laid down on Mariette’s sleeping bag, still wrapped around each other. Marinette fell asleep almost instantly, her head resting happily on his chest, one of her ears pressed against his ribcage right next to his heart. He placed another soft kiss on her hair and started feeling his eyes closing from the exhaustion. 

And that was how Alya found them, a few hours later. She had entered the lounge to wake Adrien up and tell him it was time for him to go back home, if he didn’t want to get caught. Alya erupted into a big, huge, massive grin and tiptoed her way back to Nino’s bedroom to grab her phone. She beckoned for Nino to follow her and they both sighed, looking tenderly at the two lovebirds fast asleep. 

“I knew that my little birdie would leave his nest eventually,” whispered Nino with a big smile on his face.

Alya beamed at him. “I’m nearly sorry to wake him up,” she whispered back. Nino gave her a curt look and she sighed. “I know, I know, he risked a lot to come here and we don’t want to blow his cover. But first,” she said and messed with her phone, putting the camera on and taking a picture, “There. For the wedding album!”

Then, she gave Adrien a big shake and was thankful that she caught his surprised blushing face as soon as he opened his eyes. 

‘That's another good one for the album,’ she thought, taking one last shot when Marinette also opened her eyes at Adrien's surprised gasp and her face became the colour of Ladybug’s suit. 

Those two. Honestly, they'd never learn.

                                                    Fin

Author’s note

There you go. A bit later than I wanted to, but here’s the second story for that challenge. Which sadly ended before I finished the story, but never mind, I post it anyway ^-^

Hope you liked this story. Please feel free to drop any compliments, screams, insults, kisses… incoherent rambling… anything you want in the comments and hit send. I love reading your feedback, please be nice with this poor sleep deprived soul who writes at 3 am for tort—, I mean to delight you with these loads of rub—, er, these beautiful stories of mine. *Coughs*. Good news is (oh well, good… depending from the point of view), I have more plans in my head, so I’ll tort—, I mean I’ll delight you with some more very, very soon.

Aren’t you happy? :D

[silyabeeodess]

Hey, Fusion Fellas: As heartbroken as many of us still are over the DMCA shutdown, it’s nice to see so many fans of the game continue to carry on in whatever way they can.  I’ve kept up with whatever news appears as much as I can, seeing the news spread and more people come together to find ways to enjoy something that was such a big part of their childhoods.  There’s some stuff I’d like to say, regarding my personal thoughts and what I plan to do since I know some of you follow me for my fanwork of the game.  The first half is largely negative so, if you like, you can skip over that: I’ll have things written in bold to mark where this starts and breaks off.  

I’m still angry at CN.  I know about the guy spreading lies to the network and I understand that they have to protect their IP.  That’s not what I have a problem with.  What I have a problem with is a multi-million dollar company targeting a harmless, fan project over a piece of their IP that they themselves have confessed they aren’t planning on doing anything with--effectively keeping it vaulted where no one is allowed to touch it: Targeting a group of devoted fans who’ve shown more love and care for this franchise and the fanbase (along with the shows its attached to) than their own hired creatives have.  Beyond a matter of law, this is a matter of respect--and CN has lost all of mine. 

Take a game like Undertale and its creator, Toby Fox.  You have a small team making a game that boomed in popularity, similar to FusionFall back in its hay-day.  The difference is people can still buy UT and the game continues through the AU that is Deltarune while there’s no possible way for fans of FusionFall to ever experience it without a server.  So how do these two separate creators--Toby Fox and CN--react to their fans?  Toby Fox says, “Hey fans!  Go make your fanart!  Make your fan games, so long as you don’t try to make money off of it.  You can even make your more mature content, just please tag it separately from the game’s official title.”  Here, you have someone at greater risk of financial loss; understanding that what the fans create, they create out of love; giving as much allowance as he can to the people that enjoy what he started.  Cartoon Network?  “Yes, we know you love this game and although we’re never going to touch it again, you can’t either. How about you watch our awful reboots instead?  We know you didn’t want them and that you don’t like them, so we’ll be sure to call you names and spit on you if you have anything negative to say about us.  Because we don’t actually care about you.” This is a company that doesn’t think of its fans beyond the dollar signs they see attached to them. The fact that they’ve apparently only addressed one person over the course of weeks despite the countless emails and messages sent to them regarding FusionFall is also terrible--like they’re waiting for people to give up so the whole issue can be swept under the rug, like they think we’ll simply forget.

That post I made before about this?  I still mean it.  Cartoon Network doesn’t respect us, so why would I want to support them? Moneygrubbing, Hollywood empire Disney has shown a better attitude toward people than CN has as of late--and I can’t stand a large bulk of what Disney’s done over the past several years!  Everyone can make their own choice regarding the company--I’m not calling for a boycott--but I’ve stopped watching their shows and I’ve cancelled my plans for purchases I was going to make for their newer merchandise.  Even if I could make a few exceptions for them, their behavior overall is too horrible for me to want to give them so much as a dime of ad revenue from watching a video.

Because of this, I’ll be perfectly honest, I don’t even feel like making fanart anymore or writing the headcanon posts I’ve been covering.  I’ve enjoyed them, but they have been always solely for fun and it’s hard to want to make anything when all that’s happened is on the forefront of my mind.  Part of what makes it so hard on a personal level is that I loved what Cartoon Network used to be--and admittedly does still exist in small fragments of their content now. The creatives that wanted to push the envelope for animation and storytelling: Not the trash banking on old shows and jokes that were dated the moment they uttered them in hopes of getting a cheap laugh because there’s nothing better on TV.  (Not even realizing how doomed for failure they are as things move toward streaming because then people can shift through the garbage that much easier.)  When I was a kid, I watched the PPG on a regular basis and Numbuh 5 from KND was the person I wanted to be.  In middle school, I planned my afternoon schedule around episodes of Total Drama Island and bounced on a trampoline while singing Are You CN This? like it was the top single of the year.  In high school, our theatre members’ turns backstage were shared watching Steven Universe.  Now, I feel nothing but bitterness and disappointment, like someone who’s lost a friend that changed for the worst.

So, how will this effect what I post?  I did have a bunch of stuff planned, but I keep going back and forth on what I want to do.  It’s hard to truly enjoy making stuff, as mentioned before, but at the same time I’ve never been one to drop anything easily (even if it takes me years to actually get something done, as some of you who follow me for other things already know.)  

Some of you may have noticed that I didn’t post a fic for last month’s prompt and haven’t posted any new prompts for this month.  I did start writing my story for April, but ended up leaving it hanging when everything hit. I don’t know about finishing it, and since I’ve been the only person working with the prompts from what I’ve seen, it seems pretty pointless.  Since I kinda began an arc with a few of them, I might try to at least wrap that up, but I just don’t know.

For the comic, since I already have some work done on what would’ve been the first chapter, I might go ahead and finish that.  (Just know that it’s several pages long, meaning it’ll still take some time to finish... and that you’ll need to be braced for wave of posts when its done.  It’s got about eleven pages now: I would have more done, but since I backtracked on the script to cover the tutorial rather than jump straight into a totally original plot as first intended, some of that stuff had to be put aside.)  Keep in mind thought that it really might be just that chapter.  Without the drive and with being so backed up on other projects--and since we don’t have the game to rely on for references as easily anymore--I just don’t know how long I could keep working on it.

With the headcanons, I could still do a fair amount of research to get those done, but it’s just not the same.  If I made more, the masterpost would still be updated; however, tags on the posts themselves would be limited to FusionFall rather than include the cartoons.  I don’t care about traffic: I don’t want any confusion from anyone thinking I’m supporting CN’s current work.  (Petty? Most likely, but at least there’s no question where I stand.)

Even if I don’t post as much FusionFall stuff, people are still free to send me asks about the game. So long as the asks follows the terms I’ve set up for my blog, it’s perfectly fine.  I’ll try to answer them as usual.  

Overall, at least for now, expect these posts to wane: Not dropped entirely, but definitely less frequent.  I’ve said it multiple times already: I just don’t know.  I’m upset that the game’s gone.  I’m upset at those involved for its shutdown.  I’m upset at those who don’t care about the fans and those who act like the fans are wrong for caring.  I’m upset at those in the community going at each other’s throats when people are trying to salvage the fanbase as much as they can.  The whole thing is just plain sad and I don’t feel like there’s much I can do except sit at my desk, pick up my pen, and push myself to do what I’ve always done: Focus on my work. 

[sandersidesfanders]

Featured fander: @blinksinbewilderment

Question: How did you find the fandom? How long ago was it if you can remember?

Answer: oh hm, i remember finding it through thepastelpeach's ready as i'll ever be animatic back in april 2018 and then seeing fitting in in the recommended sidebar? it was just a couple weeks after crofter's came out and still thinking that thomas was gonna post regularly

Question: Whos your favourite side? (if you have one of course lol)

Answer: logan's been my favourite for a long time now lmao, but roman's a real close second!

Question: Whats your favourite ship?

Answer: as of right now my top three are analogical, losleep, and roceit

Question: What made you want to do fanart for sandersides? What usually inspires you when you are drawing?

Answer: i think what pushed me was that this was probably the most welcoming fandom that i've ever been in? it was pretty active, lots of smaller or beginner artists were shown support right along with the more experienced ones, so it was nice to know that i could hop in with both feet and find a place to set up shop relatively easily.

my inspiration mostly comes from aesthetics, lots of blues and golds and sunset tones, space, rain, the works. some of it comes from the vibes and energy i get from listening to songs and watching movies and tv shows with good cinematography and storytelling. nowadays a lot of it's from my friends tossing out offhand ideas and from seeing the different types of artworks from other fandoms

Questions: Do you have any other fandoms you relate to the sides?

Answer: oh!! i think high school aus, pastel/punk aus are pretty classic when i think about it. if i were to just let my mind wander i would probably go to a modern magic au first though.

Questions: Thats all i have for questions but is there anything extra you want to say and/or anyone you want to recomend for one of the next interviews?

Answer: i think that this is a cool project! Thankyou for this opportunity!

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Quarantine Q&A

Thanks for the tag @thelightofthingshopedfor!

Are you staying home from work/school? Yes - I work at a library and for a little while the staff was still going in (there are only 7 of us) to do some deep cleaning and other projects that would be hard to get done while we were open, but halfway through the week before last the mayor decided to completely close all non-essential city departments. So now we’re all home but luckily they decided to still pay us for just under our normal hours (supposedly until we reopen) since we all took home some projects to do (I took four boxes of books home that need repaired, for instance) and we’re all planning on watching a bunch of training webinars. I feel really fortunate with my job tbh because since we’re all part-time except for the director, there was no guarantee the city would still let us work. As for school I’m online anyway, so nothing changed there. 

If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? My immediate family who I live with - so my mom, my dad, and my younger brother. On one hand it’s kind of nice to not be completely isolated, but on the other...I usually get the house to myself for a few hours a couple of days a week, so I’m definitely missing that. 

Are you a homebody? A huge one, so honestly things aren’t much different than usual other than not going to work and having more people in the house more often.

What movies have you watched recently? The other night my parents and I watched a movie from the 90s my co-worker recommended called The Love Letter. It was interesting and kind of fun, not exactly the best movie I’ve ever seen, but it had some surprise queerness at the end, which was very nice and unexpected. Ironically, Ellen DeGeneres is in it but she is not one of the queer characters. Also I recently finished watching “I Am Not Okay With This” on Netflix, which is technically a tv series, but is very good and also queer. I’m currently watching a movie called The Love Witch, which I have mixed feelings about so far - in part because for a number of reasons it feels like it should be queer but isn’t. 

An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? Not a specific event, exactly, but I’d been planning on going to some events put on by the LGBTQ+ group at a university somewhat close to where I live (about an hour away). Apparently some of the events are open to the public and I was hoping to go to some and potentially make some queer friends (which is really hard to do where I live). So that’s not happening for a while. I’m also not sure how this is going to impact Pride? I was hoping to go for the first time this year but I don’t know what will be happening come June. 

What music are you listening to? A mix of various lesbian-y songs, Hozier, Florence and the Machine, Aimee Mann, and Of Monsters and Men (in other words, my usual). 

What are you reading? I recently finished Loki: Where Mischief Lies by Mackenzi Lee, which I enjoyed...I’m also in the middle of a nonfiction book called Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States by Samantha Allen. A couple of books I’m thinking of starting are a YA novel called Orpheus Girl by (which deals with lesbian teens going through conversion therapy and looks pretty emotional and dark) and a much more lighthearted graphic novel called Kim Reaper by Sarah Graley (which is about two girls who fall in love and one of them happens to work part-time as a grim reaper. It looks extremely cute). As for fanfic, currently reading A Graveyard of Stars by @iamanartichoke which I strongly recommend. 

What are you doing for self-care? I want to do some art stuff but haven’t yet - hoping to possibly play around with watercolors a bit or maybe finally do some Loki fanart? Also, I’ve been hanging out with my pets a lot. I feel extremely lucky to live in a rural environment with a bunch of animals right now. Playing with baby goats is fantastic for self-care - 11/10 would recommend.

Uhhh I’m terrible with tagging but @mastreworld, @delyth88, @sandraharissa, @iamanartichoke, and anyone else who is seeing this? (yes, you). 

[rioniarts]

welp, gang! not only another year is coming to an end, but it also marks the end of a decade. i’ve been drawing for over 10 years now, so i figured i should do a decade of art just to show off my work over the years!

if you want to read my retrospect of each year, it’ll be under the read more! heads up, it is a bit of a doozy.

TL;DR: just all around happy with how much i improved over the years and i can’t wait to see what 2020 will bring!

2009 (11-12 yrs old)      at this point, I’m on my second year of drawing (both traditionally and digitally!) This year mainly consisted of either oc art or drawings of my best friends at the time, but there was some fanarts sprinkled here and there. I also did my first animation piece around this time too tho it’s private now :3c i may show it off one day...

2010 (12-13 yrs old)     I got my first drawing tablet for Christmas 2009 and this is when i went ham on my digital drawings. this year was kinda weird i guess? i started experimenting a more cartoony style on some artworks, though the majority are still anime inspired.

2011 (13-14 yrs old)     ah yes...... the year i found out about homestuck.... well, i found out about it on the second half of the year. the first half was all about my ocs. this was because around this time (or late 2010? i dont remember exactly) i discovered flipnote hatena, where I did tons of animations including my ocs. but once i discovered homestuck, that was all i posted for a while lol. this was also the year I made my tumblr account. oh and I also lost my tablet pen for a few months so some of the drawings from this year were made with a mouse.

2012 (14-15 yrs old)     I started falling out of deviantArt and became more active on tumblr. I mellowed out on the homestuck drawings a bit and posted other stuff. this year was kinda similar to 2010, where my artstyle was kinda all over the place. the second half of the year I discovered a super obscure browser dating sim called Star Project and became a part of the roleplaying community so plenty of my artworks revolved on my muse Souta and the game as a whole. 2013 (15-16 yrs old)     this year was really quiet in terms me posting art. i had been constantly doodling both traditionally and digitally but I never got around to posting the majority of them. this was mainly because I was so busy with school. on the flipside however, I discovered Earthbound and i hecking fell in love with it ♥

2014 (16-17 yrs old)     still relatively quiet but i posted more than 2013 lol. Earthbound drawings galore! i also did posted more oc work, including my gal Usako. I haven’t posted her anywhere in a long time though. i have been redesigning her and i’ll show it off sometime in the future!

2015 (17-18 yrs old)     ahh, here we go! now we’re picking up the pace! i graduated from high school this year and started posting more often. splatoon came out this year and I was constantly drawing them squidkiddies! (tho tbh my rin and len drawing is my fav) this was also the year I got Manga Studio (an older version of Clip Studio Paint) but I still used Paint Tool Sai. this was also the first year i did commissions!

2016 (18-19 yrs old)     this year was really interesting tbh. lots of really neat works and i started to do more backgrounds. this was also the year I (attempted) to do my webcomic! i haven’t updated that thing in a long time tho. I want to reboot it one of these days. but anyways, good mix of fanart and oc works. really, this year was great.

2017 (19-20 yrs old)     this was the year i made this very art blog and my instagram account! (which i haven’t advertised here at all but here’s the link lol) i think it was around this point i found my own artstyle that i want to more or less stick to! of course, it was going to change overtime, but compared to the years prior, my artstyle at this point has been more consistent. this was also the year i attempted to start an oc askblog with a friend of mine but it haven’t gone far ;w; def want to try again one of these days!

2018 (20-21 yrs old)     this year was also really nice! i moved to a new university to get a major in animation. quite a few persona 5 and kingdom hearts drawings here and there since i was like love with both of those games (even tho kh3 wasn’t even out at that point, but i was still hyped omg) i also introduced Cimmaria and Nicktornal for a future story that i’m currently developing! i also made a full move to Clip Studio Paint after Paint Tool Sai wouldn’t load on my new computer.

2019 (21-22 yrs old)    last year of the decade and i left it with quite a bang! I def posted more often. i did missed a few months, but then i would come back with a bunch more works to post! I discovered Artfight from a friend so that kept me busy during the month of july! made a couple more animations too since of course i will be doing more of it for university. 

So, what’s my 2020 art resolution?

Def want to keep posting! try to go for at least 4 artworks per month, one for each week.

experiment more on backgrounds, perspective and composition!

post more oc artworks! i haven’t been posting much about them for the past few years but I really want to change that. there is one oc i am definitely introducing to you all! here’s a hint: it is a Dungeons and Dragons character. I will show them off when the time is right uwu

continue developing on story ideas and sticking to it! i’ve noticed that i usually start on projects only then to drop them later on. I really want to revive them and work on it!

continue working on animation! if all goes well, i’ll be taking animation classes in fall of 2020 so i need to start prepping more!

and of course, continue improving my art!

that’s all i have in mind! if you got this far, thank you guys so much for reading this wall of text lol. I promise that will do as much as I can to fulfill these resolutions! onwards to 2020 and beyond!!

[krixwell-liveblogs]

Check out this post. Wildbow talks about his life on reddit. This explains so much about Taylor’s school experience. No Worm spoilers

This sounds interesting. I’ve frequently wondered about how Wildbow’s life shaped this story.

Let’s take a look.

Redditors who have opted out of a standard approach to life (study then full time work, mortgage etc), please share your stories. What are the best and worst things about your lifestyle, and do you have any regrets?

Well, the title is already intriguing.

Hermit writer here.

Born hard of hearing, went to a regular school. Struggled in middle school. Struggled in high school. Kids who were in my class in kindergarten were in my classes all the way through to grade ten, with the elementary/middle school and high school being a stone's throw from one another.

I kind of knew about the hard of hearing bit already. I can’t find the ask that told me about it, though (it was probably before I stopped using screenshots for asks).

So far this sounds relatively normal, except for that part. But I’m guessing he’s going to elaborate a bit on the struggles surrounding his school life and hearing problems?

In grade 10, after years of bullying and a peer group that had established who was 'in' and who was 'out' when I was knee-high, tired of struggling, I was walking down the halls and I found myself wondering when the last time I'd even opened my mouth in school was.

Oh wow.

I stopped dead in my tracks, just paralyzed by loneliness. I asked myself what the point was, couldn't come up with an answer, resumed walking, went out the side door of the school and went home.

This clearly parallels a few of the last times we saw Taylor at Winslow High.

The start of me just not going to school for that entire year. Nobody noticed.

Damn. He really did write all that from experience. It took a while for Taylor’s absence to get noted, too.

Taylor’s absence getting noted at all actually seems like a fantasy compared to this.

I got caught at the end of the year, did the same thing the next year, got caught only at the end.

What the hell sort of attendance routines did this school have? Clearly not good ones.

Ended up going to an Alternative school (Self study), proved to myself that I had it in me when I got 3 years of studying done in 8 months, won two awards... and then had to go back to my old school for what was essentially grade 13, where I struggled.

Huh. Well done.

People learn in very different ways. Some people can do this much more effectively than learning in a group. Some people are like me and can’t make themselves keep up the effort required to self study, or learn better from lectures than reading.

Some people learn by observing their surroundings while flying.

I worked retail and found it fine. But family wanted me to go to University and figure myself out.

I’m currently working retail, taking a break from the educational system and buying time to figure out what to study.

I went to University and I struggled.

Guys, I’m sensing a theme here.

I spent a long, long time trying to figure out why I struggled, why I was tired all the time, and it took a kind of confluence of events before I realized what should've been obvious. I found the social stuff hard and I was exhausted after a day of listening because I'm severely to profoundly deaf.

Oh yeah, that makes a ton of sense. It’s like how focusing is exhausting when you have trouble doing that, how reading without glasses you need tires out your eyes and brain, etc.

Honestly, it’s a little surprising that I haven’t (explicitly) met a hard of hearing character in Worm yet. Maybe later? Oh wait, there was that deaf waitress at the villain pub in Hive.

Beyond that, the 'path' just isn't for me. The systems and institutions just grind me down. The idea of a 9 to 5 is death to me. These things are built and streamlined for the average person, and between disability and a fairly extreme degree of introversion, I'm far from that average.

That is very fair. There’s definitely a brand of ableism in that system.

In the end, I stepped off the path. I'd been writing a thing online as a side project and the reception was good, so I decided to leave school earlier than planned, use the savings I had, stretch things as far as I could, and work when I could (with a family friend when he needed the help and had the cash to spare, doing some landscaping, drywall installation, house painting, all prepping houses for sale in a boom market) to stretch things further.

This would be too early for that thing online to be Worm, right?

It just occurred to me that I have no idea how old Wildbow is.

And I wrote as seriously as I could while people close to me told me that I didn't deserve to 'get lucky' and have the writing work out because I hadn't seen University all the way through, or openly expressed doubts and disappointments.

Yikes.

Fuck that noise. Writing is tons of effort!

But you know, it worked out in the end. I wrote the equivalent of 20 books in 2.4 years, wrote another 10 for my next series in the ensuing 1.2 years, and I've kept up a similar pace over the last 7 years and two months.

Especially when you’re this coddamn productive!

That’s 8.33 books a year!

I started writing mid- 2011, left school at the start of 2012, went full-time-paying-the-bills in 2014 with an income around minimum wage. I moved to a small town (no car, nothing fancy) that same year. I'm now closer to the average Canadian wage. It's been two chapters a week (2.5 if crowdfunding money is enough) since the beginning.

Oh, I suppose that means it would be Worm after all.

When was this written... huh, yesterday? Well, that explains why this hasn’t been sent to me before.

Writing being Wildbow’s only/main income makes me feel even more right about my decision to set things up so that some of the money from my Patreon goes to Wildbow. It’s not that big a portion of his income (apparently average Canadian wage is 986 CAD or 755 USD per week, and I chip in with about 3.26 CAD or 2.50 USD per week), but it’s something.

My reality: I can go a week or two without really talking to anyone that isn't a cashier.

Sounds a bit lonely in the long run, but as a fellow introvert (or maybe I’m an ambivert, in the systems where that’s actually a thing), I get it - it also does sound pretty good. Especially if you’ve got internet people to casually interact with at your own leisure.

Every two months or so I go to a relative's to dogsit while they're on vacation or to see someone for their birthday, and that gives me most of my fill of socialization and companionship.

Nice!

I don't have a car, so it's usually walking or taking the train to another city, and using public transpo there. I subsisted on a rice and beans diet for a good stretch, one $15 video game bought in a year, and my level of expenses hasn't really risen that much from that point. I eat better and buy a couple more things, but nothing major.

So I guess this would be somewhere between average and reserved?

I don’t know. Being Norwegian spoils me on these things.

60%+ of what I earn goes to savings, which gives me security when my income could fluctuate or disappear at any time.

Oh, that’s smart. I suppose writing would be a bit of a risky business, what with writer’s block, audience fluctuations, sudden drops in popularity because something you wrote didn’t go over as well as you thought it would, etc.

My schedule is entirely my own, which usually amounts to 2.5 15+ hour workdays a week and another 5-10 hours a week spent managing community, finances, and exchanging emails with tv/movie studios, publishers or startups.

I was going to talk about the long but few workdays, but tv/movie studios excuse me what

Is a TV series version of something Wildbow wrote (Worm or otherwise) a serious possibility right now?? :o

Best things - I love what I do. I love creating, I love my reader's tears, I love my readers being horrified.

This is really important. You gotta enjoy what you do.

I get to make monsters and be surprised by what my characters do. Many of my fans are just the absolute coolest people - people I'm now insanely glad to have met and include in my life. There's amazing fanart of my work out there, music, people have gotten tattoos. Tattoos. That's insane.

People have permanently, painfully painted their appreciation of your work into their bodies, Wildbow!

The bad- I'm an online content creator, and it's impossible to convey just how toxic the toxic elements of a fandom can get and how negative the negative aspects can get, and how much it can affect you.

That is true. There will always be a toxic side, and I can imagine works like Worm would attract a lot of the edgy sort.

I've seen 20 online content creators either break down or remark on the effect it has, and it's wholly accurate- and my audience isn't even ~that~ large.

Yeah, it doesn’t take that many people to start brewing fandom sides like this.

This is multiplied by the fact that writing is lonely as a profession (I know too many writers who can't even talk to their life partners about their work) and it can be hard to find perspective or balance as you take it all in, when you don't have people to communicate with.

Robert Jordan used his wife as a beta reader or editor of sorts. She was there to tell him when something he wrote didn’t quite come across, to make up for the fact that he couldn’t tell. After all, he knew what he meant by that one line.

On a similar note, some casual dating would be nice, and living in a small town for economical reasons doesn't leave me with a large dating pool, and at this point I'm not even sure if I could or should inflict myself on someone.

Oof.

There are way too many people who think like that. I hope you find happiness with someone who sees you for the good bean you are, Wildbow.

I'm healthy, groomed, I can hold a conversation, I'm just pretty set in my introverted ways.

...relatable, though.

But still, I’m pretty sure there are people out there for us, who not only tolerate but appreciate the introvert lifestyle.

Hell, both of my crushes have been very introverted, even compared to myself, so I know those people exist because I’m among them.

On another, less social note, there is the fact that as an online content creator, you can't really take breaks. Or you can, but it costs. Consistency and frequency of updates are god, and a hiatus is a death knell.

No wonder he criticized me on this that one time. In his situation, it matters a lot.

I don't even know what an effective vacation would entail, because I feel like finding my stride again would cost more than I gained from having the break. So it's been seven years and two months without a vacation, writing a short book every month.

Damn.

You deserve so many props, Wildbow.

...at some point here I started talking to Wildbow, just like I do to Taylor and other Worm characters. Well, at least this time there’s actually a chance he’s going to read this sometime, if he hasn’t dropped my blog.

I just hope he doesn’t think it’s weird that I’m liveblogging his life story.

It makes for a very strange sort of burnout, when I love it so much, I can still regularly put out some great work to acclaim and praise, but am nonetheless worn down around the edges.

That does not sound healthy.

No regrets. This is me. This is what I'm built for.

As long as you feel it’s right for you, this is good. :)

I could do with less negativity from some fans and getting regular good nights of sleep (the deafness comes with insomnia by way of terminal tinnitus), but both of those just come with the territory.

Ouch.

I feel you on the sleep front (ADD has its ways of messing with your ability to fall asleep too), but tinnitus sounds like a particularly annoying way to be inflicted with it.

I've been telling family for the last year that I'll move to a city with more going on than (as my elderly neighbor phrased it) drinking and meth, where there's classes to take, a possible dating pool, and/or activities that could break me out of my hermit shell... but my current apartment is amazing and cheap, with the nicest landlords ever. It's just in a do-nothing town. I haven't found anything remotely competitive, even taking 'cheap' off the table.

I’ve lived in small-ish towns all my life. It’s pretty nice, especially as an introvert.

So that's where I'm at.

Thank you, Wildbow. This was an interesting read. I feel like I know you a bit better now. :)

(Again, if you’re reading this, I hope it wasn’t too weird to see me liveblogging this.)

[maggieisalarrie]

18 by aclosetlarryshipper

Harry hates Golden Boy Louis and he's pretty sure the feeling's mutual. It's too bad they're forced into parenthood together during the home ec baby project.

Featuring accidental fathers, an improv performance gone wrong, and an altruistic game of spin the bottle.

(15k) 

Ain't That A Kick In The Head! by lesbianharrie & wreckingtomlinson 

“Well.” Niall unlocks his phone. “It wasn’t getting the traction I wanted on Snapchat. So…I tweeted it.”

What.

“You tweeted it,” Harry states, nearing a state of brain dead. “To your ten thousand followers.”

Niall nods, handing Harry the phone. “You’re a meme, Harry.”

“I’m a what?”

“A meme. It’s like an internet—”

“I know what a fucking meme is, Niall! Why did you make me into one?”

Niall has the fucking balls to cackle at that while Harry looks at the mess his former friend created. Videos of him screaming at Tomlinson about Tide Pods and his ass are being quoted and combined with memes to a create a level of memeception Harry has never seen before. That isn’t even including the thousands of tweets of him falling up the stairs remixed with random Top 40 songs.

~

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

(22k)

More under the cut! 

All My Friends Are Here by abrighteryellow 

He is about to decline, though. If he has to sit through forced merriment, the least he can do is avoid participation at all costs. He is about to, but then the guy with the microphone is looking out into the crowd. He’s saying things, too — about rules and prizes and team names. At least, Louis assumes so. He can’t really hear him over the ringing in his ears.

“Alright, mate. I’ll play.”

A pub quiz has invaded Louis’s favorite dive. Fortunately, it comes with a charming host.

(3k)

all we are is a bittersweet sundown by loupancake 

Sequel to chances under the purple sunrise by loupancake

After the death of Harry's father, the merman king of the Atlantic Ocean, Harry has to step up and prove his strength to be the next true king. With the company of Louis, who he's been writing letters to for three long months, they embark on a quest throughout all the oceans before the last of the late king's magic runs out.

(101k) 

Caught My Attention by kassio

Reason #27 - Your one chance with a celebrity.

When he managed to stop ogling Harry's body and look up, the first thing Louis noticed was that Harry’s face was probably the most perfect face he’d ever seen. He’d seen him in that film, but he was even better in person. Maybe it was the smile.

The second thing he noticed was that that smile was directed at him. He’d been caught staring. Harry’s smile only widened when Louis locked horrified eyes with him. He tilted his head curiously, and his eyes flicked down Louis’ body. “Who’s this?”

Louis had been around long enough to know when someone was checking him out. He hadn’t expected to see that look from Harry fucking Styles.

(13k) 

chances under the purple sunrise by loupancake 

Inspired by & Based on Neon--Diamonds' Fanart “You’ve been taking my shoes?” Louis asked, scoffing. “I paid a lot for them!”

“How unfortunate for you.” Harry smiled bitterly. He peeked over Louis, eyeing the hook that still had the worm.

The red box was open right next to him. Harry saw that inside, it had a couple of transparent containers that were filled with worms, too. He eyed Louis skeptically before nodding. “Right. I’ll give you your, er…. little boats back if you let me have the tub of worms.”

A groan crawled out from Louis, his head falling back and his eyes landing up at the clear sky. “I need those.”

“They’re food for myself and others, not to be used as bait.”

*

Or the one where Harry is a merman, prince of the Atlantic Ocean, whose curiosity and healthy envy takes over him and he steals Louis' shoes every time he fishes.

(29k) 

Enjoy The Ride by 2tiedships2 

“Stop sulking and get up. I have a proposition to make.”

“Niall?” Louis questioned. “Do you think I should put glow in the dark stars on my ceiling?”

He looked over and found Niall giving him an unimpressed look.

“So, no?” Louis asked. “No stars?”

“We’re going on a road trip,” Niall stated.

Louis looked back at his starless ceiling and waved farewell to Niall. “Cool. Have fun!”

“No, you idiot.” Niall let out a frustrated sigh. “You, me, Liam, and Harry.”

Louis glanced over to Niall and back to the ceiling. “Who’s Harry?”

Or the one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

(11k) 

Every Piece of You (It Just Fits Perfectly) by allwaswell16 

Louis has settled into his job as the reigning monarch’s charity representative as well as his life as a reluctant member of the royal family, but what he wants most is for his relationship with Harry to become something more.

Harry finds himself as consumed as ever by his career as a high fashion stylist, but he vows to make more room in his life for Louis. He’s decided he’s going to start the New Year off with a ring.

A remix of ‘Why Can’t It Be Like That’ by taggiecb that takes place one year later.

(8k) 

I Didn't Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) by allwaswell16 

These days Louis tends to steer clear of dating alphas. He’s dated too many knotheads in his time, and he’s ready to just focus on school and his friends and his pet monitor lizard, of course.

Too bad the alpha next door won’t take a hint and stop using the worst pick up lines of all time on him. He’s really got to stop laughing with him--and talking to him and walking to class with him and letting him bring him coffee and tea and gifts for his lizard and watching Netflix together and...

(15k) 

In All Its Imperfections by BriaMaria 

From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients

Hello!

I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours!

Cheers!

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.”

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head.

"What happened, mate?" Liam asked.

Harry just pointed to his computer.

Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?”

“Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.”

“Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?”

Harry nodded.

There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?”

(15k) 

Inconceivable by alivingfire 

Sometimes, Harry thinks, there's something there. The spark in his belly isn't just happening to him, surely. Surely Louis feels that rush too, that blossoming heat in his blood when their fingers brush.

But no. No, Louis treats Harry like a best friend—and it's an amazing thing, so wonderful, Harry wouldn't trade his friendship with Louis for anything—and there's no room for anything else. Not between them.

But Louis adores Niall. It’s clear, obvious in their comfort together. Harry and Louis still have something that keeps them from that, something making things more loaded with possibility, more intense. Like magnets with the same pole, an invisible force pushing them back—maybe that’s Harry’s crush, a barrier keeping them apart. Louis and Niall’s friendship is easy, whatever is between Louis and Harry is something else. Weighted.

Which is fine. It's good. Niall clearly loves Louis back, so it's great.

And Harry can just keep lying to himself for the rest of eternity.

Louis and Barbara Tomlinson are twin brother and sister. Harry's in love with Louis, Niall's in love with Barbara, and they both go by Tommo. It gets a little confusing.

(23k) 

Just To See That Smile by homosociallyyours 

It's Coming Out Week at university, and Harry's taken on a lot of responsibilities to make everything run smoothly. Finding his roommate's boyfriend attractive is making that a bit difficult, unfortunately. It might help if he realized that said boyfriend (Louis) is really just there to help said roommate (Liam) figure out if Liam's crush (Zayn) likes him back.

But that would make things too easy.

A fic where a hastily faked relationship and a lot of miscommunication almost ruins a perfectly good dance.

(7k) 

Love's On The Line, Is That Your Final Answer? by PearlyDewdrops 

Harry can’t believe it when Louis, the boy he’s always had a tempestuous rivalry with, asks him to be his boyfriend. Well, pose as his boyfriend, that is—for a new television game show in which young couples are quizzed on how well they know each other for a jackpot of thirty grand.

Reluctantly, Harry agrees—because he's got student loans to pay off, hasn't he? What's the harm? And he can totally deal with keeping his secret thing for Louis under wraps too. This is all just to win some money. It's fine. No big deal. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, everything. Obviously.

(53k) 

Maybe, Baby by thoughtsickles 

It all feels too easy, too good to be true. It all feels like a scene from Louis' daydreams, the kind of life he'd always imagined he'd have when he was younger and bored at his momma's work, sneaking around the hallways of the maternity ward until the nurses let him in to hold the babies. He'd felt so important being allowed to touch them. He'd told them stories of the lives they were going to have, houses with nice wallpaper that wasn't peeling, yards filled with sunshine and flowers and grass that never went yellow. A hammock to nap in, cuddled up with his husband.

You can't stay here, he tells himself, but Baby doesn't want to listen.

****

Louis runs away. Harry finds him.

(16k) 

Once Upon a Dream by objectlesson 

“M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay. ”

Harry shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, because he can’t fucking say no to Louis.

--

Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

(27k) 

Own the Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks)

“But I don’t belong here,” Louis insists. “Why do you say that?” James asks. “These people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” Louis shrugs. Something sparks in James’ eyes. “And you’re not?”

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

(145k) 

signs and wonders by scrunchyharry 

On the surface, it looks like Louis Tomlinson has the perfect life; after all, he has the whole package: a white picket fence house (well, his doesn’t technically have a white picket fence, but work with him), a wife, a daughter and a dog. He has it all and he’s not even 30, yet.

On the surface, he could be the happiest man in the world.

The thing is, he never wanted this life. There was this boy, see, this Harry Styles, whose arrival made Louis question everything he thought he knew about himself. Before Louis could pursue it, though, before he could be brave and ask the boy out, one moment of bad luck on prom night, one single lapse of judgment, shaped his life in a way he never would have chosen. Between doing the right thing or turning into his own absent father, he knew what he had to do, even if it meant burying his dreams under the weight of a premature adulthood.

That is, until he receives an invitation for his school’s ten year reunion and sees that Harry will attend.

Could it be his second chance at happiness? At what cost?

(29k) 

Staring Across the Room by allwaswell16 

Harry Styles has a great life. He’s a children’s librarian at the New York Public Library, he’s got wonderful friends, and he loves cooking, green tea, yoga, and his collection of bow ties. He doesn’t mind that his life seems a little structured, maybe even a little boring. But when Louis Tomlinson joins the library staff as the new Installation Coordinator, things become a lot less predictable. Louis gets under his skin right from the start, bossing Harry around, making noise during story time, and eating the last cupcake in the staff lounge. Louis may be almost offensively attractive, but Harry will not be succumbing to Louis Tomlinson’s charms, even if the rest of the library staff have.

(27k) 

Stars Will Align For Us by 2tiedships2 

"The serial monogamist is single," Niall said by way of introduction when he sat down across from Harry in the canteen.

Harry sipped his chocolate milk. "What are you going on about?"

"Your alpha dream boat," Niall said. "That tiny little footie player? I heard from Hannah that he's broken it off with his boyfriend so he’s single and ready to flamingle. Now's the time to make your move."

Harry sipped his chocolate milk harder to keep himself from replying.

Or the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.

(16k) 

The End Should Be A Good One by bananasandboots 

It doesn't feel like falling in love, the way it had felt the first time around, easy, simple, almost like floating, wrapped up in a whirlwind of touches and kisses, late nights spent laughing breathlessly into each other's skin. This feels broken, complicated, like every move carries the weight of their past. Like the floorboards beneath them could collapse at any moment. This doesn't feel good.

Or, the one where Harry loses the love of his life on New Years Eve and finds him again, six months later, ready to open some poorly-stitched wounds.

(43k) 

through the jungle through the dark by YesIsAWorld 

Louis and Harry were best friends, until they weren’t. Five years after they last spoke they’re forced to drive cross-country to visit an injured friend. If they can’t get over the past, it will be a very long week together.

(13k) 

Wild Love by purpledaisy 

“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”

“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.

“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”

Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

(131k) 

Worth a Thousand Words by TheIfInLife 

“Look, I’m learning some new stuff!”

My name is Louis. My favorite color is green. I like movies. Do you know sign language?

Harry huffed grumpily. Why are you learning sign language?

“Because, I want to be able to talk to you.” Louis looked small, gripping tightly at the steering wheel.

Why?

You’re my friend. Louis signed shakily, having to try it a few times before getting it right. And well, Harry just snapped.

We’re not friends. I don’t know what makes you think that we’re okay but we’re not. You stopped being my friend once you found out that I went deaf. I don’t know if this is your way of ‘making up for it’ or if you think that hanging out with the deaf guy and learning a bit of sign language is your ‘kind deed’ to the world but I don’t want to be your charity case and I don’t want to be your friend. or Harry went deaf at 5 years old and Louis just wants the chance be heard.

(8k) 

[sufferthesea]

Transitional Period

Okay so I feel really lame writing this but I think it's also important. I keep apologizing for not being super active on this blog anymore, and there's a number of reasons I haven't. Most of it has been health related but anyway. I started this blog because I hated my other blog and wanted to do something new with a fandom I'd been in for a long time (10+ years), so after talking with Katie ( @shiranuigenma ), I decided to create this Naruto blog. But it wasn't intended to be just a Naruto blog, but that's how it kind of ended up since that's what I was into when I made it.

The fact that I've kept this a 98% Naruto blog is awesome because my attention span and energy allotted for a fandom is around 3-4 months. After that I usually get bored or burnt out and have to find something else. Making friends and participating in things like Kakashi Week, and just doing art and writing fanfics, has helped me to maintain interest in this blog for a lot longer than I thought I would. So thank you!! You guys are awesome!!!

(Okay real quick I'm not quitting lol. I know it sounds like it. But I'm not.) Basically, I was getting so burnt out on Naruto that I was dreading getting on this blog and I didn't want to watch it anymore. That's why I've been MIA. I literally only follow Naruto blogs at the moment. I don't want this to become a trash blog like my last one that I abandoned, so I'm still going to be kind of selective with what I reblog. Anyway. To combat the staleness and burnt out feeling I had, I got into a few other shows with my friends and that's really all I've been watching (RWBY, RvB, and YouTube if you're curious). It sounds dumb but it's really helped me a lot because I'm not so exhausted and wearing myself out trying to be ~the cool singular fandom blog~ that I'm really not meant to be. (Yo, major kudos to those who can do that.)

So anyway, 2018 has been not super unkind, but very tough for me. You grow from challenges, right? But it's also important to not be challenging yourself 24/7 for 6 months straight with little sleep and locking yourself away in your bedroom. I am not Maito Gai. I cannot do that. So here's a few things about my blog that'll carry us into summer 2018 and hopefully allow me to be more active and not so stressed and sad!!!! Esp since I still don't have a job even tho I'm looking!! And I'm getting tired of ppl telling me “Well just get a job??? Just go get hired???” like !!! what do you think I am doing???

Requests are now closed indefinitely. I'm going to finish up the few I have, but after that I'm closing them. They were super fun but I have so many things backlogged that it hasn't been as fun anymore. I send love and thanks to all those who sent in requests while they were open! It was a fun experiment and I got to really test myself by writing for characters I don't normally write for!

Writing commissions are closed indefinitely.  I’ll complete the one I have, but then that’ll be it for now. These too were also fun and challenged me more than anything else I've done. I got to write some very unique and difficult topics and I'm so thankful for those who trusted me enough with their stories to do this. However, the amount of time and mental energy it took was too much and severely underselling myself made it difficult to justify the time I was spending. (I've read writers should charge around 1 – 3 cents a word. I was charging $0.001 cents a word lmao. Whoops. I actually don't mind but it is hard to make a living like that.)

Art commissions are still OPEN! And btw, I do have a ko-fi. I'm thinking about doing something like, one coffee = one bust of your character of choosing? (which is same price as commissions whoops lol.) Idk yet. I won't be doing any writing for ko-fi, though.

I was going to create a side blog for the other fandoms I'm in but side blogs are tedious and annoying to manage so I'm probably just going to start posting stuff here. If you don't want to see it, you can start blacklisting tags now. I'll be tagging things as #rwby, #rvb, #not naruto (that's my catch-all tag for anything, uhh, not Naruto). Expect a lot of Ozpin, Qrow, Church, and Washington because even tho I was inactive here, it does not mean I stopped hoeing around in other fandoms. Oh, also expect an occasional #game grumps because #dan avidan is way cute.

I'm also going to be posting fanart for other fandoms here too. It's been nice to draw stuff other than Nardo. I'll still be doing Naruto stuff (I have a ton of Naruto projects I'm working on) but silly little doodles will probably be from RWBY.

I'm also in this weird kinda scary period in my life with school and career options. I have a degree in English and it's always been assumed I'd be a teacher but I don't want to be?? I realized recently that I love to draw and I'm getting quite good at it (with the help of my sister who is my own real-life youtube tutorial for SAI), so both my sister and I are going back to college for a Studio Art degree. I'm thinking about getting into animation and I'm scared because it's not a secure or “traditional” job??? I'm scared because I'm not settling on a job I don't want or a field I just assumed I'd go into. I'm not good with big changes or going into things when it's uncertain, so I'm like ….. /anxiety increases/ But I'm hoping it'll be good.

Just as an extra bullet point and a reminder, I still really love Kakashi, Iruka and Obito, and all my other guys!! Don't think I forgot about them!!

Sorry this is 10 million years long but it was important to me to write all that. I'm sorry I haven't been able to reblog your art or fics and comment on them. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you guys and responded to messages. I'm sorry I'm not as active. I've just been figuring stuff out and hanging out with friends, and watching other things so I don't grow to despise Naruto lol. So. That's about it. I probably forgot something.

Oh, I have 21 plants growing in my windowsill. 2 are decorative and the other 19 are going to go in my garden in the backyard bc they’re herbs and vegetables. And I'm going to cosplay for the first time next month and I might meet the voice actor for kid Obito. So. There's that.

[working-on-becoming-a-better-me]

Day 253—Mar. 23, 2021

Okay, so the numbers for my previous consecutive posts were off by a day (like a day ahead) and February 7′s math was way off, but I googled this! so from here on out, we will be accurate! let’s go bois!

BIG UPDATE BOIS! Essentially? I’VE GOTTEN BETTER! Mental health is better, habits are better, outlook on life is better, productivity... isn’t as high as it was when I first started the blog, but it’s doing MUCH better than November and even January.

coping with minecraft:

So, I’m still addicted to the dream smp minecraft fandom. my friend got me a dream hoodie, bucket hat, and a georgenotfound hoodie for my birthday. but! I’m coping better. I’m behind on streams, and am now catching up during Spring Break. For a while, I was pushing back school work to watch and catch up on streams. I promised myself that during free periods I would work since I was catching up on streams at home, and then... yeah. ANYWAY! I’ve gotten a lot better at that recently by noticing that even fanart accounts (accounts dedicated to mcyt-ers) were talking about how they didn’t watch a phasmaphobia stream because they weren’t interested in it, or talking about how they were behind on streams... it really helped me accept the fact that I can be a real fan and not watch every single stream.

cultural convention:

My international school does events with other international schools but because of covid, we can’t travel. I act and made varsity drama (we call it a different name, but yeah!) and we had virtual conferences. I was incredibly friendly and loud and there were tons of zoom calls. Our schools kinda known for being... uh, stuck up? and kinda elitist. Not like I was being fake, but I was making an effort to talk during calls and be active on group chats made. I joke-flirt a lot and focused my attention on one person. A whole thing ensued, but some of the other actors in my school (there were only 11 of us) were joking abut sending me to “horny jail” and one girl kept apologizing for me. During “lounge sessions” I would interject with what I thought were funny comments and she’d say “again, I’d like to apologize for her behavior” and... uh... I cried at school. Cuz I’ve heard way too many times from too many different people about how I’m embarrassing... BUT.

What really helped was the fact that there were late night zoom calls and I was one of only three kids from my school the first night on a call with around 25 people. Other people said I helped give them a really good first impression of our school, especially considering all the things they’d heard previously. The guy I joke-flirted with (I previously dmed him asking if he was okay with it and he said he was) said on a call that I was one of the funniest people he’d met in a while. It was a huge confidence booster in knowing that the efforts I was making were paying off :)

confidence:

Since starting this blog, I’ve been trying to be nicer to myself. I’ve been practicing more positive self speak and have recently realized the difference between the way I speak about and to myself and how some other people do. Being nicer to myself out loud has helped a lot in feeling better and more comfortable.

I wanted to try wearing black masks, but my mom bought the wrong kind. They had patterns and I was really nervous because I didn’t really want to stand out. I used to not care, but... I dunno. Teenagehood and whatnot. We wear uniforms too, so the only differences are in accessories, hair, etc. I’m not sure why, but I was really nervous to wear the new mask patterns to school. But I told myself it was an experiment, to force me to be more confident. I actually forgot I was wearing it until I saw myself. And since I’d posted on my private story saying I was doing this to try and be more comfortable, some of my friends came up to me and told me it was actually cute. Shows that I really had nothing to stress for. Not that it was really self-expression, but for me, and anyone else who needs to hear this, no one cares. Maybe they even wish they had the courage to wear different things as well.

mcyt mantra:

I have a mantra now! adapted from something drunk Wilbur Soot said during Quackity’s livestream, I think. I repeat it when I’m happy and when I’m nervous or scared and I guess... I dunno, I’m like classically conditioning myself? Except not really since I’m doing it out of order. But yeah! get yourself a mantra!!!

character day:

more with confidence! spirit week is just an excuse for kids to not wear their uniforms, but I put a lot of effort into an Ace Ventura outfit I put together. I only saw around two or three other people actually dressed up as characters, but I had so much fun and thought I looked amazing. I was proud that I wasn’t a normie ;]

Also... it’s so humid in this country and the rubber bottoms of my boots actually stuck to the pavement and fell off. I spent the day without the bottoms of my shoes and it was so funny. Even my mom laughed after (she laughed for so long, it was adorable) and she said only I could pull it off and that the friend I walk to school with everyday is lucky to have me as a friend. My mom was telling me about how she never had a friend like me growing up, just so weird and goofy. And it made me happy to think that I can bring so much... zaniness to people’s lives

ao3:

been writing a lot more recently! haven’t been posting on my writing blog since it’s all fanfiction, but it’s helping me write! I update one of my stories every two weeks. When I feel like I’m not doing enough, it’s a nice reminder that I actually can be consistent. I may be getting better... who knows :)

nehs:

been editing lots of papers even though I don’t need to anymore since I made vp of my school’s nehs chapter. but it’s helping me learn too! I’m very instinctual when writing, but obviously when I’m editing I can’t just ask them to change something because “it doesn’t sound right”. So I google explanations and then tell the people who’s papers I’m editing. It helps both them and me!

ipad/drawing:

got a new ipad for my birthday. been messing around with procreate. been doodling in class (only dream team characters so far lol). might be getting better... hopefully I am!

also have a sticky notes app on my ipad and been creating to-do lists! yay!

teaching:

been teaching students in cambodia! last year I had a teaching partner who guided lessons mostly. this year I’m the leading teacher. It’s helping with my fear of leadership and responsibility.

social:

still not the most social, but more active on snapchat now with keeping in contact with some of the cultural convention kids. covids made it harder to keep in contact, and I’ve been trying to reach out more to my closest friend who I’ve not hung out with in a while. not that we don’t see each other at lunch every other day, but I walk to school with, share a class and after school study hall with another friend. so comparably, I’ve spent less time with my closest friend.

recently had a spa day with my small neighborhood gang! my friend painted my other guy friend’s nails! yes! we used face masks as well :)

general update:

- went to the pool the other day and now I’m hecka burnt

- yesterday I wrote letters for honor society points, caught up on math hw, wrote a reflection and plan for a class, reviewed chinese with my mom, met up with my “mentor” for a class

- have been helping a lot of people! am currently a part of two people’s pieces for their theater class and I have a rehearsal later today!

- was doing a lot of work as an officer of thespian honor society—I’m likely going to be on the officer team again next year and, until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t felt like I’d been doing much and was feeling unworthy. but then I was proactive about something and updated our sponser (school’s drama director) on what we as officers decided. felt... prettyyy goooodddd :)

- !!! yesterday I went on a walk and brought money and my student ID, ready to buy bubble tea, but then... I mustered up what little willpower I had and then didn’t buy it. Instead, I bought surprise lilies for my mom (and some groceries she asked me to get)   - been trying to cut out unnecessary sugars and foods. if I’m not hungry, I shouldn’t eat, but also... I listen to my body and if I’m feeling really snacky, I’ll indulge   - recently been craving ice cream, but not the flavors in my fridge so instead I’m just not eating ice cream at all and ate an apple once as a substitute :D

- not sure if I’ve been sleeping more, but it kinda feels like I have been?

- started taking pictures of the world when I think it’s pretty one sunny afternoon when I was laughing lots with a friend... especially right after cul con, I was taking a lot more pictures...

- just been more active (not physically... though occasionally, when bored, I’ll stretch some... but I should try and get more active (I mean... the walk yesterday?))... creatively speaking (ao3, with art), socially online (cul con kids), in person (making plans over spring break!)...

- I just feel like I’ve been putting more effort into life

of course, there are the down bits, like for one project based class where the end product is due in May-ish and it focuses on the “process”... I’m just... not... process-ing. I chose a writing project (why). I’m focusing a lot on my side projects, but not my class writing one :/ as well as that, when assignments pick up, I do too, but when I get down time I feel like I deserve it (which I do!) but I don’t work ahead. I’ve been really busy though. Teaching got cancelled because the school in Cambodia shut down unfortunately due to covid. But before spring break, I was teaching, editing papers, writing my own for lang, doing cul con and then catching up on work I missed because of cul con, studying for tests, attending rehearsals... there’s a lot going on and I need to recognize that I am doing so well, especially compared with a few months prior when I was in a much darker place.

mostly stress has been my plague, but yeah! also in the span of one week, two classes bumped up a grade (or half a grade... we have letters and + system (no -)) so my previously low gpa became slightly less low! It gave me confidence that I can end the semester strong!

procrastination: another plague. I keep delaying setting up college counseling meetings and have delayed this update for a while now... and the project-class...

also have babysitting jobs again so we gon get some monnaayyyyy! (job is not from people we met at the pool, but we did meet people at the pool and their kids liked me so much they asked me mom to get me to babysit them... another boost to confidence! yay :) I’m a likeable person :] )

thanks for sticking around! I’m glad I’m getting this update in because I’m doing... really well :D hope you guys are also doing well or that it gets better!

[morhath]

@autisticminyard tagged me in a thingie where you list the good things that happened this year, going month-by-month.  Some stuff was obvious (NaNo! my job!) but some months were really hard and I had to dig through my blog archives to see what I was up to.  There were also some things that happened over multiple months, which I’ve listed at the beginning.  (That wasn’t part of the original post, it was just my idea.)

Some overall stuff: I got a lot of writing done this year!  I did NaNo, but I also worked a lot on fic, as well as some original stuff.  I also auditioned to be in the dance concert and got cast in a really cool piece that’s all about individuality, so I’m allowed to modify stuff so I can use my cane.  On a related note, I took ballet classes during the summer.  I was in with professional dancers (I am Not That) and I very quickly learned how to be okay with sucking at stuff.  (2016 was the year of Actually Thinking My Creative Endeavors Are Good, and then 2017 was the year of it Also Being Okay If They Suck Though.)  I think I also got a bit better at being organized and cleaning up my own messes (physically, at least) as well as planning out my food better.  I made a huge breakthrough when I realized that you can freeze so much more food than I thought you could, and I got really into making various meals and freezing them for later, as well as cutting up and freezing veggies.  I got to expand a really cool project from last year into an independent study, which may have some exciting and statistically significant results, if my supervisor hurries up and emails me back to help with the stats stuff.  Oh and I got really into the Stormlight Archive books, which are some of my faves now!

January: I made this cool Queen’s Thief fanart for the ARC contest and started reading the Southern Reach trilogy, which I now love.  I went to study abroad in Scotland and even though that was an unmitigated disaster, I was pretty excited about it in January.  I’m pretty sure that’s when I went to the Scotland Against Trump rally, which was fun while I was there, and it taught me that I cannot go to protests without lying in bed in severe pain for a week.  So now I know for sure and can stop feeling guilty about not going.

February: 21st birthday!!!  While I basically don’t drink, it’s nice to be able to get into bars to socialize--now I can go dancing with my friends at the unofficial gay bar that does ‘80s night, and I went on a pub crawl to celebrate winning NaNoWriMo.

March: This was the Hell Month when I started to get really sick and fall really behind in my study abroad classes.  I leveled up in trusting people, though?

April: I posted my first fic on AO3!  It’s from the Imperial Radch exchange--a character study of Basnaaid Elming.

May: THICK AS THIEVES!!! THICK AS THIEVES!!! THICK AS THIEVES!!!  Also I fucked off from my ongoing failure in Scotland to go hang out in London for a few days and I saw two cool museum exhibits and two plays at the Globe!

June: I went to Spain for a week and lived in an apartment that was a five-minute walk from the beach.  I love beaches!  I love Spain!  I ate a lot of paella!  Then I came back to the US and had some medical problems, but one thing that finally happened was a root canal.  This tooth had been bugging me for a year or two, but it wasn’t quite at the point where I needed a root canal.  But it finally got there, and it was great because as soon as it was over, that whole side of my mouth stopped hurting!  I also moved into an apartment to live with my college friends for the summer, which is nice because a) friends! and b) I live in rural nowheresville and I turn into a depressed lump with nothing to do in the summer, so living in my college’s town got me to actually put clothes on more than once a week and go outside and do shit.

July: Good summer shit(TM) continued, I got to actually see my friends and get up and do stuff.  I played Abzû, which was really nice.  I read Raven Stratagem and was blown away by all the twists!

August: I got a job!!!  It’s kinda in my field!!!  It’s only moderately soul-sucking!!!  I STILL HAVE IT AND DIDN’T IMMEDIATELY GET FIRED OR ANYTHING!!!  KNOCK ON WOOD I CONTINUE TO NOT GET FIRED!!!

September: I went back to school--as stressful as school is, I really thrive in an environment with a lot of scheduling.  It turned out that my failed semester in Scotland wasn’t gonna fuck things up as badly as I thought.  I also got my first paycheck!  And I did a bunch of writing, mostly fic but some original.  I became better friends with @horaetio and @corvidfeathers (and also @antinoan but we were already pretty close) because of our Horrible Shakespeare Class.

October: Obviously good because !!!Halloween Month!!!  I kinda almost got kicked out of college but managed to recover pretty well.  And while Provenance came out in September, I think I actually didn’t read it until early October, so that goes here.

November: I WON NANOWRIMO so obviously that’s the big one for November.  I also made some Etsy sales and got into Animal Crossing Pocket Camp.

December: O hey that’s this month.  I did a creative writing piece for my Horrible Shakespeare Class final and people loved it.  (My other two finals aren’t due until January, rip in pieces.)  It was really encouraging and I might??? expand it??? into a full script???  (It was presented as the script for “selected scenes” from a fictional movie.)  I also got a lot of really nice, practical gifts, like a handheld vacuum cleaner, a postal scale, hiking boots, slippers...  And a bunch of books!  EDIT: also I just wrote a bunch more a few days ago and may post a Second Entire Fic soon.  (This one is longer!  There are chapters!)

I’m tagging the three nerds I tagged earlier when talking about the Horrible Shakespeare class, since I can’t tag you twice.  Also here’s a random selection: @aconfusedbird, @phle-botomy, @tiniestwarboy, @mirandatam, @whatagrump, @mazarbor, @kallistoi, @bookaddict7342, @breha, @sqbr, @genehazard, @bb-ace, @thesirennebula, @sword-omens, @swordsnowprano, @adhdronanlynch, and anyone else who wants to do it but I totally spaced out and forgot about!  And also you are not at all obligated to do this if I tagged you, I just picked some people I could think of off the top of my head whose years I’d love to hear about!

[ohmythatoikawaboy]

I’ve been laughing at this cover picture for about 12 hours, isn’t it amazing?

The first time I saw this picture, my reaction was the following: “Haha, Hinata versus a salesman, that’s good. That’s an interesting fanart. And look at that hair, so combed... But it kinda looks like Osamu’s hair? Wait. THAT’S OSAMU. WAIT. IT ISN’T FANART.” 

I legit thought it was fanart because IT IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE THAT WE GET TO SEE THIS KIND OF METAPHOR IN CANON. I will talk about this later (my final degree project was about metaphors so get ready for some good shit).

IS THIS A REFERENCE?

Now, Haikyuu isn’t known for having overt references to other shows, but I like to find potential references in any case. And the title helps as well.

When I see this picture, it reminds me of two things: the first one is Pokemon, and the second one is Yu-Gi-Oh. The point here is: this is a challenge. I’m not very acquainted with Yu-Gi-Oh so I’ll focus on my area of expertise: Pokemon.

Businessman Osamu wants to fight!

(Continues under the Read More cut.)

(Now I wonder what kind of Pokemon team he would have, but that’s a different story and this post will already be long enough.)

I assume the majority of people have played Pokemon, but if you haven’t: yes, Businessman is a trainer class. There are actual businesspeople challenging you to fights because the protagonist decides it’s a good idea to get inside buildings where people are actually working. Or are they? Because all those businesspeople are idle as hell every time they challenge me.

But if you ask me, I’d love a Pokemon AU in which Osamu is a businessman during the day, and a member of the Elite 4 at night.

AN INTERESTING METAPHOR

We saw in the previous chapter that Hinata lost a battle on the net against Osamu because Hinata turned out to have less physical power than Osamu. Kinoshita’s internal monologue was also related to this: talking about the lack of experience that Karasuno has, compared to a team as seasoned as Inarizaki. “They are not college students, or working adults, or aliens” BUT “we are not the same as high schoolers; they’ve put more effort into it and have more experience than me”.

So, Furudate is now using that information in the form of a beautiful metaphor for this cover. And oh, I love it.

Remember that both Hinata and Osamu are the same age: sixteen. Yet, one is presented as a businessman, while the other is a preschooler.

Please correct me if I’m wrong, since I’m not Japanese and I’m not an expert in Japanese culture. But I’ve done my research after I came across the word “shakaijin”: a working adult, but with the connotation of being a full member of society. That’s the word Kinoshita used in the previous chapter (”they are not working adults”), and as far as I know, that word tends to have a connotation in Japan that only a person who works a full time job is considered to be a first-class citizen. I don’t know to what extent this mentality is spread in Japan, but I find this concept interesting if we want to apply it to this particular picture.

This isn’t just about Osamu being depicted as a worker. He is depicted as a first-class citizen, as opposed to Hinata, a preschooler. Hinata doesn’t even get the comfort of being the high-school student he is currently: he is shown as the (in theory) lowest rank in society, a kid who is not even old enough to decide anything by himself. At least that’s how I interpret this picture, because it makes the contrast even sharper.

Both figures get a shadow in this picture, but only one (Osamu’s) threatens to hide Hinata. Osamu looks bigger, towering in front of Hinata, but Hinata isn’t afraid and instead confronts Osamu openly.

It’s a simple, yet so effective picture, and it summarizes what we’ve seen so far in this match: the huge difference in skill between one team and the other, and the fears and doubts that are weighing down some members of Karasuno.

BUT IS IT AS SERIOUS AS I MAKE IT SOUND?

Of course not. I mean, I’ve been laughing at this picture for hours, and I know I’m not the only one who found it at least partially comical.

Let me make a list of things I find hilarious, surreal, or both:

-As a friend pointed out, Hinata is holding a recorder. That’s his weapon. It’s surreal. But, at the same time, it could be an effective weapon: that shit never sounds good. I dare you to find me a recorder that has a decent sound (well, I bet someone could find a Youtube video, but I mean... we’ve all been students and played the recorder and even I, a talented student, could never make sense of that instrument of the devil).

-There is a fox in Osamu’s card. It’s just a detail but I find it so cute and I had to mention it. The rest of the card, though... HE’S A SALESMAN. IN A COMMERCIAL AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT. HE’S THE JOB AU MADE CANON. WHAT IF THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS TO BECOME? AND WHY IS A BUSINESSMAN FIGHTING A KID? COME ONNNNNN.

-Osamu’s hair is so neatly combed, considering how much of a mess it usually is, and it took me a bit to actually recognize him. It’s logical for him to comb his hair, given that he’s a salesman now, but ISN’T IT HILARIOUS THAT HE STILL HAS THAT STYLISH UNDERCUT? THAT HAIRSTYLE IS DEFINITELY THE LEAST BUSINESSMAN-LIKE THING EVER.

FURUDATE VS. ELE: A PERSONAL ATTACK

I left the most personal stuff for the end, but I mean: I suspected Furudate spies me on a regular basis because it isn’t normal that they keep on giving me the stuff I like.

BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK. FURUDATE TOOK EVERYTHING THAT COULD POTENTIALLY DRIVE ME TO A HEART ATTACK AND MADE IT CANON.

“What do you mean Ele had a heart attack a few months ago because I decided to give Oikawa glasses for the silliest reason ever and everyone liked it but Ele really liked it?” One of the things I love from Haikyuu is that Furudate likes to destroy clichés and give their characters realistic details. And they are fond of glasses, actually. Aside from the (not so) typical glasses character (Tsukishima) and the glasses sensei (Takeda), we have a gorgeous manager who, surprise! Wears glasses! And she’s still considered beautiful! And she doesn’t need to take them off! And nobody makes a big deal out of her wearing glasses!

We get to see more characters with glasses throughout the series, until we got the big surprise: Oikawa appearing with glasses for no apparent reason. And everybody liked it. I am of the opinion that he looks at least as handsome with glasses as he is without them. So I think I can safely say that this fandom ended up having a thing for glasses thanks to Furudate having a thing for glasses. In fact, I like to imagine my faves, those who haven’t appeared with glasses in canon, wearing them.

But if there was one character I wasn’t expecting to see with glasses, that was Osamu. Wow, that was a nice surprise.

The personal attack doesn’t end there, though. I have mentioned a few times that I really, really, reaaaaaaally wanted to see Osamu in a suit. His school uniform would do. I mean, suits are amazing. I love to see everyone in a suit. Everyone. I did, in fact, draw Osamu in a school uniform a few weeks ago (he looks gorgeous, btw). So once I got over the fact that Osamu was wearing glasses in canon, even if it’s for a cover, I realized he was also wearing: a suit.

BOOM.

Now, it’s my time to pray so the anime adaptation includes this scene at some point. I mean, remember that time when Oikawa appeared as a Roman general? That was a nice metaphor, wasn’t it? Please include this metaphor at some point in the anime. Please, please, PLEASE.

TOO LONG; DIDN’T READ

I love Osamu Miya and I’m pleased with this cover but Furudate is definitely trying to kill me so maybe I should call my ambulance friends, just in case.

[sheepishartist]

☆ Art Tips From WonderCon 2018! ☆

Hello! So yesterday was the last day of WonderCon 2018, and I had the privilege of attending panels, and looking through artists alley! One of the panels I attended was “Making a Living Off of Your Art” and some of the panelists included Lee Kohse, Brendan Hey, and Sean Glumance. There, they gave out tips on artists’ lives, struggles, and requirements to success. I took notes during the panel, and I thought it’d be nice to share them with anyone who was interested ^///^ 

☆ The numbers in bold are the ones that were most highlighted upon the panelists, and were told to be the more important take aways of the panel!

1) The most important thing when it comes to success as an artist, sadly, isn’t how well you can draw. Its how you market yourself. There are tons of people in the world who are successful because they know how to properly display themselves in the eye of the public. One of the panelists said that when they were younger, they witnessed a individual who drew and was selling fan art at a convention was making more than they (who was selling original pieces) were at the time. They figured out it was because the person was physically standing up and engaging with their audience.

2) MAKE A BUSINESS CARD! One of the panelists claimed that they had gained many clients just from that little slip of paper. I’m still a minor in high school, so after the panel was over, I asked if I could still make one. They claimed that if I was 16 or over, then yes, he recommend I make one.

3) This one was furiously highlighted by one panelist in particular who mentioned it all throughout the panel. GET ON “LINKEDIN” it’s basically a job hunting site from what I’ve gathered from it, and it was described during the panel as a necessity. During the Q&A part of the panel, a girl came up and asked what her first move would be when she graduated. The immediate response was Linkedin. Everyone laughed because how fast the answer came, but the panelists then said he was not joking, and that that should’ve been her first move even before she graduated (It sounds a lot meaner when I type it out, but they were totally friendly with the girl). Linkedin website: https://www.linkedin.com

4) This one I understand isn’t accessible to everyone, so if you don’t (understandably) have the resources, you can skip over to the next number. One of the panelists mentioned CTN Animation Expo in Burbank. It was my first time hearing about it, so I had no idea what it was about. From what I’ve gathered, its a convention that brings animators together so that they gain knowledge from one another, and offers workshops (if I’m wrong on any of that info, I am so sorry). Here’s their website: http://www.ctnanimationexpo.com/index.php

5) Don’t be shy...make connections! Be friendly! More often than not, this along with marketing yourself is one of the more important ones. One of the panelists claimed that he was teaching art, and that he mentioned to his students that he had a friend that worked in (I believe?) Pixar. He told his students to go home that night, email his friend, tell them that they were his student, and ask him if they could buy him a coffee, and sit down with him. He then said that his friend had gotten into contact again with at least five of his students after their first meeting. It was emphasized by all of the panelists that making connections was extremely important!

6) Make sure all social media is u to date! One of the panelists had claimed that they had a friend who was discovered, and hired via Tumblr, and that you never know how your art gets seen.

7) Research about types of jobs! A different girl during the Q&A portion of the panel had asked that she had no idea what type of artist she wanted to be when she was older, but that she loved doing art, and definitely wanted to go into that direction later in her life. One panelist said that if she wasn’t sure at the moment, to take some time to research jobs (animator, story board artist, etc.) and their descriptions to see what they had to offer, and then evaluate from there.

8) Focus your portfolio on what you want to go into! If you already know what type of art you want to do when your older, then be sure to fill your portfolio with it! It’ll more often then not catch the attention of where your applying to, and be a nudge on the shoulder of “please put me in this department!”

9) Take initiative!  If you’re already an artist working at a professional job, and a new job position opens up, don’t be afraid to say “Do you mind trying me out for that position?” If you’re good at what you do, and like it, then chances are there won’t be a problem.

10) Make sure you can replicate styles! While I don’t remember the exact scenario that was described, one of the panelists had said that one day they were asked to draw in a similar style of manga, instead of their everyday task of drawing comic book style. They then said yes, they could do it, and wounded up doing manga style for awhile, and it ended up being a success (They said that some of the notes they received was “make the hair bigger, make the eyes bigger” lol). Also, bonus tip: if someone asks you, “can you do this?” SAY YES!!

11) Use your tools/resources!! One of the panelists says that their kids were trying to learn how to draw, and that were constantly on youtube or twitch looking for inspiration, references, etc. They also claimed that in modern society today, there is almost no excuse as why you haven’t been using these resources (a funny side note was that they mentioned that they offered to teach their kids to draw when they had taught figure drawing classes for years, to which their kids replied, “no, that’s okay”, lol). You also have to know how to use your tools. For example: if everyone else is doing their portion of work for a project digitally, but you don’t know digitally that well, and are a top notch painter, THEN PAINT YOUR PORTION (if its permitted of course)!

12) Try out “Unity” for game development. Unity is a game engine that allows an individual to develope 2D and 3D games, they have videos for beginners, and one of the panelists mentioned that it’s great for those just starting out! https://unity3d.com/learn/tutorials/topics/developer-advice/how-start-your-game-development

13) Put time in! Discipline! YOU HAVE TO MAKE TIME FOR ART. YOU CANNOT MAGICALLY GET BETTER IF YOU ARE NOT CONSTANTLY DRAWING! DO NOT STOP DRAWING/PAINTING/CRAFTING!! One of the panelists said that if your art looked fantastic 3 weeks ago, and you haven’t drawn since then, then of course your art isn’t going to look as good. The problem is that your brain has set a standard for itself, and becomes stressed and discouraged when that standard isn’t met.

14) Set calendar reminders, and put on timers for yourself to help manage your time better (this can also tie into using your tools/resources!)

15) Don’t worry about rejection! Rejection is actually the first step to success, and that’s not just art. Ask others for positions open, opportunities, collabs, partnerships, etc. If they say no, THAT’S THEIR LOSS!! NOT YOURS!

16) Never apologize for your work! If its something you love to do, and it’s not harming anyone, then you don’t have to apologize for your art!

17) Know your audience! If your audience is fond of your fanart of one particular show or comic, and you love what you’re doing, then keep doing it! If you want to change that fanart to OCs, (and of course, vice versa) then maybe start a new account, and notify your followers!

18) Go under your own name (if you’re comfortable of course)! Feel confident and okay, because you owe no one an explanation! You can’t get discovered if your name isn’t on the art!

At the beginning of the panel, they announced that one lucky attendee would win one year access to Adobe’s creative cloud, which ended up being yours truely! :D It was fantastic timing since my subscription had JUST ended! One last side note is that Lee Kohse has a twitch channel and does creative streams every now and then! https://www.twitch.tv/kohseart

That’s all of the tips I was able to gather from the panel! I hope someone found this helpful!