#i'll commit to one of these someday

[spiritsglade]

Hi! How about 6, 8, and 20 for the meta asks!

[meta asks for writers]

hi mage ty for the ask!!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

answered this here but bonus answer jason is very for me also by virtue of being my favorite guy in general. knowing him so well means that i have a very good grasp on how he fits into a scenario and i can pick and choose pretty effortlessly which version i want to use to have the most fun with him. he can truly do it all.

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

i'd say in general that my tastes in reading are broader than what i write. off the top of my head, here's a list of things that i like reading but don't ever see myself writing: crossovers (star wars, criminal minds, white collar), no cape aus, a laundry list of romance tropes, fluff just like in general... it goes on.

a large chunk of my fics i write because i want to read it and nothing/not enough of it exists, so that absolutely falls into stuff i like to read. however, i do write a lot of hurt no comfort/angst with no happy resolution, and i am a little... wobbly on how much i enjoy reading that. i need to be in the right mindset getting into it if i'm reading, but writing that has always been very fun. sometimes i don't even realize how angsty i'm making something until i take a step back, lol.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

okay okay it's this question's fault that i've been sitting on this ask for 2 billion years. let's go through this.

compound fracture - i think one of my favorite things about this fic is that if you ignore the victim blaming, which is a lot to ignore, i know, the batfam do care deeply about jason. they're just kind of terrible at communicating it (by spying on him and trying to shield him from potential triggers without actually knowing the details of his death). and that results in jason simply not registering that he is trusted and considered a part of that family like, at all.

i also really like when i reference dick using a crowbar as an impromptu weapon during a fight + the later reveal that bruce probably didn't know a crowbar was involved in jason's death at all.

+ offhand mention to the joker un plotline because jason knowing about bruce's half-assed attempt on the joker's life would not!! change!! anything!!!

anyway the don't-put-jason-in-a-warehouse directive extends to casts and splints, which is why we're at the docks, and that's a fun bit of consistent continuity that appeals to me exclusively.

casts and splints is particularly interesting to me, because yes while the focus of the fic was supposed to be on dick realizing 'hey wait the victim blaming's kind of fucked up' it sort of changed to be about a lot more than that? in a way that infected the summary too. like the fic is centered around that 'you can't save everyone' idea, when easily preventable accidents happen and the sort of guilt that follows. no one talks about dick's interaction with this unnamed henchman but it's probably one of my favorite parts of the fic:

"Thank you," Dick repeated, gentle and confident as he turned his back to the uninjured stranger with a gun strapped to his leg. "You've been very helpful." The man did not shoot, for the same reason Dick didn't bother tying him up for the GCPD.

i'm not entirely sure where i want to go with ossification (the series for these two). the initial plan (the reason the series is marked incomplete) was for a jaybin prequel, but currently i feel like that's a bit too repetitive, honestly. "dislocation" (a little steph & jason oneshot that takes place between the other two fics) i might finish and post one day, but it runs into the same issue.

if i ever do a real follow-up where dick tries to untangle... all of that victim blaming, i do think it's very important that i maintain a little throughline from casts and splints: the batfam don't know the specifics of what happened. they don't know that the victim blaming narrative (that jason recklessly went after the joker alone) is incorrect.

because it all goes back to this paragraph from back in compound fracture:

Jason had tried to help his mother instead of trying to take down a mass murderer alone, but it shouldn't matter. They shouldn't be blaming him—or the fifteen year old kid he had been—for getting murdered. The Joker murdered me, he had been thinking, on repeat, for the past day. It wasn't Jason's fault at all. It would never be Jason's fault, no matter what.

like i get why we talk all the time about why the presented victim blaming narrative is incorrect. it's important to be aware of the facts. but even if it was a factually correct version of events, it's... it's still wrong, to blame a child for their own murder.

and i would like the batfam to have to grapple with that, instead of pushing the implication that victim blaming is only bad if you're technically wrong about the facts.

nervous system - am i allowed to call my own work a hidden gem. is this allowed. i really really like nervous system still i think it's a fun little exploration. i love love love fanon pit madness but no one ever does in an interesting way. this is my attempt to do it in an interesting way.

the push and pull between guilt for everything he's done and the certainty that what he does is necessary is my ideal lost days/under the hood jason. i think he should be grossed out by some of the things he does but be willing to get his hands dirty, nonetheless! this is the role he has chosen to play and he is willing to make the sacrifices for it.

the little talia & jason hints i enjoy. we open the fic with him acknowledging that she manipulated him but the dagger she gifts him is still beloved.

(He came back to himself six miles away, curled up on a fire escape in the middle of Los Angeles, head buried in his arms, as if he could convince himself he still had a cape and the conviction that everything would turn out all right, if he just tried hard enough.)

-> implication that he knows thing will not be turning out all right even with his careful planning. he sure is trying!! he knows how his quest is doomed to end.

leds are 80-90% more efficient than incandescent lights - this fic was honestly a beautiful happy accident that resulted from me thinking about the words jason says in hush too much. "assigned outfit" because i'm gonna be real i don't think jason would have worn anything with the robin insignia on it if hush wasn't forcing him into it (because i'm a chronic tt29 overthinker).

lots of subtle little implications about how jason feels about bruce and also dick in here. jason bringing up dick unprompted but then claiming he does not care about dick at all... the stumbling over dad into mentor... fun little things like that. also tim isn't mentioned at all because while jason probably does have complicated feelings regarding the next robin it's not personal the way it is with bruce + dick.

"I will trap you in a hollow, steel ball, weld it shut, and dump you in the harbor." <- this line is a roundabout reference to moon knight (2021) issue #10, where moon knight does almost exactly that to waxman (a shapeshifter made of wax who seduces women so he can smother them to death). the steel ball gets encased in concrete as part of a building's foundation instead of being dumped in the harbor. but i found it a fun reference :) you should read moon knight (2021) btw.

anyway this is the origin of jason wearing that little domino mask with the white lenses. maybe he wears it later during uth as a callback to this, as another layer to remind bruce of that one time his son stood before him and bruce failed to recognize him. anyway.

lies of omission - i could probably talk for hours regarding the meta of this fic alone. but for now i've collected some of the smaller aspects of it that i find fun.

jason's casual trust for tim in ch3 going through a complete heel-turn into ch12 despite them having gotten along for something like 2 years at this point, because the fundamental reason jason trusts tim turned to to have never happened. so the rest of that relationship/trust simply evaporates in jason's eyes. at least until they get that all resolved.

damian's little sprinkle of jealousy towards how soft and gentle bruce is towards jason but seems incapable of extending the same affection towards damian. this too is a reflection of how much bruce has changed after jason's death.

it is just a friendship between steph and charlie (+ maybe a bonus crush) but it is important to me that charlie is on the cusp of discovering how hot he finds women capable of bench pressing him. he was feeling it with essence also

i think everyone forgot but let's pause to remember that ch18 is happening on dick's birthday. guess who is having the Worst Birthday Ever. this was not actually intentional when i was plotting out the timeline. sorry dickie.

jason's dialogue never includes italics because of how flat it is tonally, he wouldn't be able to put emphasize on words like that. he doesn't ever really laugh, either. he also wouldn't be able to do the upwards lilt for questions but for the sake of clarity i do allow him to have question marks.

in general i really do love how this fic has come together. the guy that kills jason in ch1 becomes part of the background casefic that's kept running until now. duke picking up an all-blade in ch6 becomes extremely relevant in ch15. the pi day celebration and references to damian's age actually matter!! i only planned some of these out. others were just details i sprinkled in and then realized i could do something really fun with multiple chapters down the line. it's pretty incredible how it weaves together so neatly.

this fic when you boil it down is about jason getting his boundaries violated for 66k words and counting. we're nearing the end soon. what do we think would be a thematically appropriate way to close this out. hmm.

[ragnarokhound]

You're doing trick or treat???? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 *Rings the doorbell*

Happy Halloween! Iirc, i heard you like jaytimkon :3c have another snip from my wolf x dog x sheep jaytimkon WIP:

“…Jason…?” Kon ekes out. Gloved fingers gently sweep away the damp curls sticking to his sweat-soaked skin, over the spiderwebs of green just now fading from his cheeks. “Looking a little green around the gills there, superbrat. You should be more careful. Gave your boyfriend a scare,” Jason scolds lightly, but the voice changer on his helmet can’t actually hide his relief. Tim can tell. “Just… my boyfriend?” Kon asks, still too wiped for a cheeky grin, but clearly giving it his best shot. Jason huffs, leaning back to get his hands under Kon’s knees and around his shoulders. He lifts Kon up, settling him as comfortably as he can. Kon groans, probably nauseous after being exposed to kryptonite for this long— but he slumps into Jason, pressing his face into the closest part of him he can reach. Trusting Jason to carry him. From across the room, Tim watches it all with hungry eyes.

(For the trick or treat ask game! Send me a trick or treat ask and I'll share jaytim WIP snippets, or new 3-sentence -paragraph fics, etc :^) through the 31st!)

[goldenpinof]

I was thinking of dan as the moon and phil as the sun (see dan's famous happy bday tweet where he compares phil to the sun and how people around here tend to call him human sunshine) but you're right that dan has also referred to phil as the moon, or more specifically "moon butt" (lol) more than once 🤔 i like your version with the stars too, i'd love to hear more about it 👀 they're also black cat and golden retriever energy kind of now that i think about it

wanna laugh? Phil IS a sunshine. i even tagged him like that back in the day. so it's like, Phil is the Moon and also the Sun. there's more, i tagged Dan "my moon and stars" at some point. maybe that's why i associate him with stars (and the Sun is a star technically, so whatever). they are the same fucking person, this is annoying! and that's why they must get paired "Moon and stars" tattoos! i've connected the dots.

anyways, i know that getting a crescent would be easier that a full Moon. but full Moon would be more canonical (moon butt, Phil's moon face orbiting Dan (hello, dd)). so ideally, i see a full Moon and 7-ish stars around it). if it's a crescent then 3-5 stars. different shapes and sizes ofc.

"black cat and golden retriever energy" omg, you're so right :(

[sysig]

Talana in the Sims 2!

I don’t have any of the “correct” accessories and that is stopping me exactly 0% lol - I love this galaxy blush so much, it’s even blue and matches her skin tone! :D

Initially I wasn’t actually sure what to do for her clothes because I didn’t have anything suitably sexy enough, but as I mulled it over I realized hey, didn’t Revenge of the Jedi come out in in ‘83? And SCII came out in ‘92....huh. I’d still like to do my own retexture, but it’s a decent base to work from!

Of the neighbors that initially came to greet her, only DAX was another SCII member, so I had her greet just him, hoping they’d be friends :D They did not! >:0 DAX was rude to her immediately! DAX!

If you dare say something like “You’re prettier when you’re mad” >:(

Well that went well

He came back later that night and acted shady - DAX! Don’t be mean to Talana!!

DAX! >:0

Interestingly enough, I had only had her interact with DAX at this point, but she had seen multiple other people while I took her clothes-shopping earlier - she didn’t greet any of them, but they’re still stored in her hidden memories! I just think that’s a really cool design :D She doesn’t have a relationship with them, but she does have eyes! It’s little touches like this that make me love this game

Pft. Subtle, Talana

I decided after they cooled down that I could try and have them get along by slowly building their relationship over the phone - they probably would get along better if they didn’t have to look at each other lol

Talana was caught spying on Stanley, apparently he’s her type. You can’t use your telescope to peep on human males, Talana!

Now that she and DAX are on better terms, I invited the whole household over! :D Everyone is so attracted to Stanley! Stanley is unphased lol

Captain, please

Everyone thinking about the Captain! She actually rejected his compliment at first haha, oh no!

ZEX immediately went for her ballet bar, why

“The Captain is HOT!” - Talana (and ZEX)

Aww haha ♥ He came over to help of his own volition ♪

I looked back over and- DAX were you just waiting your turn??

Now that they’re not angry at each other anymore, but still mad about other people lol, angy buddies

A mermaid you say. Talana’s Lifetime Want was to be the Hand of Poseidon (Level 10 Oceanography career), it was too perfect not to haha

I gave her some sharp teeth accessories but unfortunately they kept flashing blue every time I reset the lot so I ended up taking them off for the rest of these :P I still think little pointy teeth are cool tho!

I think she missed you Captain

Hot tub time! I wonder what sweet nothings she’s whispering to him hehe

This animation is so cute ;;♥ Such a gentle kiss! Very sweet

Look! He’s sitting on her lap a little bit!!

He’s such a little spoon lol ♪ Also his hand casually on her butt hehe

Party time! Talana needed a lot of friends for her promotions so this was mostly a networking party lol, what an interesting bunch of crossovers - in this bunch we have Mariella and Stanley from The Stanley Parable, ZEX, and Miles Edgeworth :D

And on the other side, we’ve got Phoenix, the Captain, DAX, and the Curator :D I wanted to invite the Narrator but I ran out of room on the guest list D: Still though, a good mix!

Can you guys chill you’ve been here for like two seconds

Miles is not interested in your ghost stories, ZEX. Actually, I’ll need to increase Miles’ and Phoenix’s interest in the paranormal when I hop back into their lot now that I think of it

Them being in this hot tub makes me nervous - I’ve set them both to be as ace as the game will allow (0/0 attraction to men and women, I wish there was an alloace option tho :( I might be able to simulate it with ACR, but they’re so quick to jump into bed with each other! Hgh) but this specific hot tub is an Aspiration Reward and thus behaves weirdly - just don’t get any funny ideas! I see you Phoenix! Also DAX in the background checking out ZEX lol

Not that I want any of you hanging out in the hot tub but why are you two standing behind it - you can see the empty seats, right?

Back inside, of course these two are being goofy together haha

Oh hey DAX :)

Captain please, find your chill, you literally just tried to invite Talana to bed right in the middle of everyone - ACR strikes again! Yes Mariella and the Curator were subjected to that lol

Overview of the party - we’ve got Mariella on the ballet bar, ZEX and the Captain talking about robbery, the Curator in her bathing suit chatting with Talana, a broken shower in the middle there, Stanley and Phoenix in the hot tub together, DAX stepping out into the backyard, and Miles eating some chips at the bar. Pretty sick party :D

Something about these three from such different games all hanging out in a hot tub together is very funny to me lol

The Captain called! :D He invited her out on a date, though they’d actually just had one lol - he wanted a round 2!

They went out and got their pictures taken ♪

And a little something else as well lol. I like the Public Woohoo memory icon in this context, it reminds me of a flying saucer and they are both aliens so

They’re so cuuuute ahhhh ♥ I love the way it looks like Talana got embarrassed from the first smooch and blocked the camera hehe 💕 The Captain’s laughing face is so charming!

Two Dream Dates back to back, he dropped off two bouquets that night haha

Did the thing! :D Now that I’ve gotten her LTW, I’m not sure how much more I’m gonna play on her lot, but it was a bunch of fun to basically slow-speedrun her to this point haha

[boinin]

There's benefits to letting your creativity wander.

I had a slow weekend, without much writing despite the looming Camp Nano deadline. I knew I wasn't going to meet my word goal, so I let myself relax. Just wrote the bare minimum so I could update my daily word count, without forcing myself to draft full scenes.

Yesterday evening I decided, because I published a chapter over the weekend, to let myself work on a one-shot as a change in pace. It's something I've been tending in the background; a diversion whenever I get stuck on the longfic.

That night's writing session bled into morning.

I've just finished the one shot outright.

Of that 5.8K words? 2.7K or so existed beforehand. 1.5K was written between 12am and 2am last night.

The remaining 1.6K was written over the course of this morning, while commuting/on downtime from work 😶‍🌫️

I fell short of my Nano goal by 4K words, but of course, as soon as July ends, my ability to word vomit returns🙃

Anyway, with that brainworm satisfied, my drive to write Chigiri angst is renewed. Let's go!

[luulapants]

Do prisoners actually want/enjoy those penpal programs? Because it seems like such an easy thing to do if it helps them but like with all things prison system related or possibly white savior esq feels I wonder if there's a catch

Ask me about incarceration!

YES.

Oh my god, yes, people are DESPERATE for penpals. Prisoners apply to join those programs and most have years-long waiting lists before they can get matched. These are people who are socially deprived and often feel like no one on the outside even knows they're alive. They need to talk to someone in the "real world" outside of prison.

The big catch is that it's a HUGE commitment - not easy at all. If you become a penpal, you are most likely going to become that person's primary emotional support. If they've got 7 years, you better be ready to do 7 years, keep up with it, and set boundaries for frequency. The absolute worst thing you can do is over-commit, burn yourself out, panic, and ghost them. That happens, and it's devastating.

That said, if you're willing to take that on, you could change or even save someone's life. I'll put more guidance on things to consider if you become a penpal below the cut.

One alternative that's come up in my community, which seems like it was a really low barrier to get started, are card writing events. Before holidays (even things like St. Patrick's day and 4th of July - anything Hallmark has a card for), the group will do a pop-up at a local church. They provide names of incarcerated people who have requested holiday cards, as well as donated greeting cards. They recommend that you write as much as you can - about anything. I once described the scenery on the drive I'd be taking to get home for the holidays, and I bet you anything the recipient read it ten times, because that's how much they crave contact. The nice thing about a program like this is it avoids that long-term commitment. I would love to see more of those crop up around the country.

A prison penpal will most likely, at some point, ask you for money. Financially supporting someone in prison is a lot - incarceration is disgustingly expensive - and you will have some complicated emotions about your level of comfort on the outside compared to theirs, what you're able to give, what you want to give, if you're being taken advantage of, etc. You have to set boundaries with them and yourself before you begin - decide on a number that you're willing to give, and stick to it.

You also have to set relationship boundaries, especially if you're a woman writing to a straight man. Again, these are socially deprived people. Not being allowed to interact with any women for years at a time does not cultivate appropriate behavior. They're lonely, and you will seem like the Only Woman In The World, and that tends to lead to some feelings that can be uncomfortable for the penpal.

You also have to think about your return address in terms of boundaries. Most people in prison will get out someday, and they will likely have very few connections or resources on the outside. Unless you're willing to have this person show up at your house asking for somewhere to live, you might need to go through a program that lets you use its address or get a PO box. You'll probably feel conflicted and gross about that, too, but again, supporting a whole grown person is probably more than you're looking to sign up for when you become a penpal.

[lyvhie]

★ ˙ ̟ ─── . “i like it”.

donghyuck x reader

| summary | who would have thought that being evasive about something important would lead to Donghyuck losing you? | cw | fluff, slight jaemin x reader, jealousy, maybe angst if u squint, pet names. | a/n | changing this again 😇 someday i'll stop 😔 ALSO, my sweet wife @peterm4rker will be writing an awesome fic for jaemin following the events of this one, so stay tuned 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Contrary to what everyone believed, you and Haechan weren’t officially lovers but existed in a complicated, undefined space. Friends who occasionally kissed, shared intimate nights, and blurred the lines between friendship and something more. Hyuck was content with this arrangement, or at least, that’s what he told himself.

Things with you have been this way since the last year of high school, when you were each other's first kiss. Back then, you were both a bit clueless and hadn’t had much experience with other people, so you suggested it might be nice, and less awkward, to practice with each other since you were friends.

After that, this dynamic continued over the years. If you were bored or just in the mood, you’d make out until your mouths were sore. But that was it—nothing exclusive, nothing complicated, no feelings were involved. These were the unspoken rules between you two. Perhaps rules isn’t the right word, but it was a silent agreement you adhered to.

Both you and Hyuck had your fair share of flings, yet, amusingly enough, you always ended up coming back to each other. And he liked that. There was something undeniably comforting about it, the way it felt so effortless, so familiar, like slipping into your favorite sweater on a cold day. It was simple, warm, and safe. It wasn’t complicated, it was home.

Over time, being with you felt so right that he no longer desired anyone else. Everything about your dynamic was easy and, most importantly, simple. It provided a safe haven for his fears, a sanctuary from the expectations he dreaded. Commitment was a word that stirred anxiety in him, a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep. The thought of fully opening up, of risking his heart, scared him.

So, he clung to the simplicity of what you had, where no questions were asked, and no demands were made. It was his way of staying close while keeping his fears at bay, holding on to you without the risk of losing himself.

Haechan believed that as satisfied as he was with you, you felt the same about him. In his mind, you both fit perfectly into the arrangement you had. After all, why change something that worked so well? To him, everything was simple, easy, and just the way it should be.

However, things weren't as black and white for you as they were for Haechan. Over the years, you had hoped that what you shared would evolve into something deeper, something more defined. You craved a sense of permanence, a relationship that was established, tangible, and secure. What started as a casual connection had grown into something much more significant for you, and the lack of clarity began to weigh.

While Donghyuck found comfort in the ambiguity, you found yourself longing for certainty. The undefined boundaries that once felt liberating now felt confining.

It was no secret how fond you were of him. After all, you had been together for a long time, sharing each other's highs and lows, witnessing the best and worst moments side by side. The bond you had was undeniable, and with time, you felt it was only natural to express your feelings. You thought it would be okay to bring up the idea of something more, to gently nudge the relationship in a new direction.

So, you began to hint at your desires in subtle ways, slipping them into conversations, testing the waters at every suitable opportunity. You teased him, dropping little clues, hoping he'd pick up on your intentions and reveal his own. Each time, you watched closely, searching for any sign that he might feel the same way.

You'd casually ask questions about where he thought you both would be in the future, framing it as mere "curiosity." If he ever saw you both settling down, or if he thought things might change someday. Each question was laced with hope, a subtle push toward something more concrete.

But Donghyuck deflected. He'd laugh it off, turn the conversation back to something lighthearted, or give vague answers that neither confirmed nor denied anything.

And yes, he wasn't oblivious, far from it. He noticed your hints, understood the implications, but chose to play along as if he didn't. He pretended not to see the deeper meaning behind your words, it was easier for him to feign ignorance than to confront the truth, to face the possibility that things might change in ways he wasn't ready to handle.

Plus, he couldn't quite understand why you suddenly wanted to change everything. Why complicate something that, in his eyes, was already working perfectly? There were no conflicts, no major issues between you. Why bother putting a label on your relationship when things were smooth as they were?

Donghyuck thought that if he just waited it out, the dust would settle, and you'd drop the topic. He figured things would naturally return to how they were—cuddle sessions, late-night calls, movie nights, making out and, most importantly, no difficult questions about the future. It was a cycle he found comfort in, and he was sure you'd come back to it too.

For a while, he was right. You did stop bringing up the subject, and he felt a wave of relief. Everything seemed to return to normal, the familiar rhythm of your relationship restored. He thought he had successfully navigated the storm, and things were back on track.

But the peace didn’t last long.

At first, he assumed you were just caught up with life—work, family, college—the usual exhausting demands of adulthood. It made sense that you'd take longer to respond to his texts, miss his calls, or cancel your usual meetups at each other's places. He reasoned that it was temporary, just a busy spell you were going through.

However, as time went on, the excuses didn't quite add up. The distance between you grew before he could even fully realize it. Sure, you still talked, but only through messages, as you had stopped answering his calls. Even those conversations felt different-strange, tense, lacking the warmth they once had.

It was as if you were slowly becoming strangers, the easy familiarity between you fading away. An unspoken abyss seemed to be widening, pulling you further apart with each passing day.

He couldn't understand. Was it something he did? Did he say something wrong? Did he forget an important date? No, that couldn't be it-you wouldn't be acting this way if it were something so simple. Was it about the way he avoided your questions? But he was sure he had handled that well, giving you answers that, in his mind, should have put your concerns to rest.

Donghyuck replayed every conversation in his head, searching for a clue, a moment where things might have gone wrong. He thought he had done everything right, keeping things easy and light, steering clear of anything that might cause friction. Yet, despite his efforts, the growing distance between you suggested otherwise, leaving him confused and increasingly anxious about what might have caused the shift.

Once again, he decided to leave things as they were. You might just need some time for yourself, he thought. He just needed to be patient. That was all.

So, he tried to stay calm, holding onto the hope that this was just a phase, a temporary distance that would eventually close. He reassured himself that you weren't slipping away, that he wasn't... losing you. But deep down, a quiet fear lingered, growing harder to ignore with each passing day.

At some point, it became too much for him to bear. He missed you-terribly. The ache of your absence was overwhelming, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to make things right, whatever it took. He decided he would go to your place and apologize, even if he wasn't entirely sure what he had done wrong. He just knew he had to fix it.

In his mind, he planned everything meticulously. He would bring your favorite food, a small peace offering to show he cared. He would listen, really listen, to what you had to say, without deflecting or brushing things off. And then, he would apologize, sincerely, for anything he had done to hurt or upset you. He was ready to do whatever it took to mend the rift between you, to bring things back to the way they were.

And that's when things, already bad, started to get worse. As planned, he went to your favorite restaurant to pick up the peace offering. But that's when he saw you. His heart did that familiar happy dance it always did whenever you were around, but it soon came to an abrupt stop. Was he thrilled to see you after what felt like an eternity? Absolutely. What didn't sit well with him was what he was seeing.

Who was the guy you were with? Was this the reason behind the headaches, the exhaustion, the countless canceled plans? The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. Not only had you lied to him, but you were with someone he didn't even know. And worse—it was clearly a date. The way you were dressed, more put-together than usual, was a dead giveaway. This wasn't just a casual meetup; it was something more.

He noticed the way you smiled, the soft giggles that escaped your lips, the way you played with the end of your hair, something you did when you were feeling shy or nervous. He saw the subtle scrunch of your nose, a telltale sign of your genuine amusement, something he had always adored. It was everything you used to do with him, now directed toward someone else.

The sight of you laughing, seemingly carefree, with another person shattered the hope he had been clinging to, leaving him standing there, stunned and, dare he say, heartbroken. A wave of emotions crashed over him. Confusion, betrayal, an ache he couldn't ignore. But above all, there was jealousy.

It gnawed at him, a bitter, burning sensation that he couldn't shake as he watched you with someone else, sharing moments that once belonged to him and only him*.*

He knew what he had said about not being exclusive, that it was just for the sake of avoiding the labels and formalities of the situation. But this—this wasn't supposed to happen. Not when you had once casually told him that you didn't need to date anyone else when he was by your side.

He remembered the words he'd spoken about not wanting to change things, about not needing to turn what you had into a conventional romantic relationship. But even so, this—this moment—was never supposed to come.

You had felt a pair of eyes burning into the soul for a while now. You couldn't help but glance around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. But there was nothing, just a person leaving the restaurant in quick steps.

You blinked a couple of times. Was it just you, or did the back of that person look strangely familiar?

"Hey, everything okay?" Jaemin's concerned voice pulled you back, and you turned your attention to him.

Had you been missing Haechan so much that you were imagining things?

"Yeah, sorry," you said quickly, giving him a small, awkward smile. "I thought I saw someone I knew, don't worry," you waved it off, hoping he wouldn't ask more.

Jaemin smiled softly, his concern still lingering in his eyes, but he didn't push further. "Okay, if you say so," he replied gently, his voice calm and understanding, but he could tell something was off.

Here was the person who had been easing your worries these past few days. You and Jaemin had been friends for a few months now, ever since you first met at a museum. He had offered to guide you through the exhibits, sharing fascinating stories behind the artworks. At first, you assumed he worked there, only to find out later that he was just another visitor like you.

You still remembered how you had worried about taking up his time, only for him to laugh and wave off your concerns, saying it had been a fun walk. That shared experience led to more conversations, and by the end of the visit, you had exchanged numbers. What started as a casual acquaintance quickly blossomed into a comfortable friendship, one that had become a welcome refuge during the tumultuous times with Haechan.

Things with Donghyuck were... a mess, to say the least. It hadn't been as bad when you were still unaware of your true feelings for him. But once you recognized the depth of your emotions, everything became harder to bear. The weight of unspoken words and unmet desires grew heavier each day.

It only worsened when he confirmed, in his subtle yet unmistakable way, that you and he would remain in the same undefined space for the foreseeable future. The realization that nothing would change, that your relationship would stay stagnant, left you feeling trapped in a cycle of longing and frustration.

You sure liked Donghyuck, more than you ever thought you could like someone. But you couldn't keep burying yourself deeper into this hole of uncertainties. That's why, when Jaemin asked you out for the first time, you didn't refuse.

You had noticed his interest in you, and you thought, why not give it a chance? It felt like a welcome change from the storm of emotions that had been weighing you down.

And you were right. Jaemin was caring, attentive, and you shared so much in common. With him, you didn't feel the constant need to second-guess everything or wonder where you stood. He was always direct and sincere, there was no hidden meaning or unanswered questions, offering a sense of clarity that you had been craving, a simplicity that felt refreshing. It was… less intense, less complicated than it was with Haechan.

Jaemin tilted his head slightly, watching you with that warm, curious gaze he always had. “You sure you’re okay? You seem a little distracted tonight,” he asked softly, his concern evident in his tone.

You smiled, feeling a little guilty for letting your thoughts wander. “I’m fine, really. I guess I’m just a bit tired,” you said, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “But I’m having a great time with you.”

His lips curved into a gentle smile. “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried I was boring you,” he teased, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Not at all. You could probably talk about the most random thing, and I’d still be entertained,” you said, chuckling.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Oh, so you’re saying I have that kind of charm, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Don’t let it get to your head, Jaemin,” he laughed too, and for a moment, the tension you'd been feeling earlier seemed to fade away.

“Well, we've spent the whole day together, and it's already," he checked his wristwatch, "real late. I think it's time to take you home, princess," Jaemin said with a teasing smile, his tone light yet affectionate.

"As much as I want to say the opposite, I think you're right," you replied, letting out a small laugh. "I'd hate to turn into a pumpkin or something."

He chuckled, standing up and offering you his hand. "Don't worry, I'd make sure to bring you back to the ball before that happens."

You rolled your eyes at his playful tone but took his hand anyway, letting him guide you out of the restaurant. The evening air was cool and refreshing, and Jaemin stayed close to your side, his presence steady and comforting.

When you reached his car, he opened the door for you with a small bow, earning a laugh from you. "A true gentleman," you teased, sliding into the passenger seat. "Only the best for you," he quipped, winking before closing the door and walking around to the driver's side.

The drive home was filled with easy conversation, the kind that made time seem to slip away. Every now and then, you'd catch him glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, a soft smile tugging at his lips as if he were just happy to have you there.

“There you are,” Jaemin said as he parked in front of your house. “Safe and sound,” he added, turning to you with a warm smile.

“Aw, it’s over already?” you said dramatically, a teasing pout on your lips.

“Don’t worry,” he replied, leaning slightly closer to you, his voice dropping into that playful tone that always made you smile. “I have an idea for what we can do next week. If you’re interested, of course.”

“Oh, another date plan so soon?” you leaned closer as well, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“Mhm,” he hummed, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “But it’s a surprise, so don’t even think about asking.”

“Then you shouldn’t have told me,” you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “Now I’m curious.”

Jaemin chuckled softly, his hand reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered for a moment, just barely grazing your cheek. “I’ll make the wait worth it,” he said softly, his gaze flickering down to your lips.

The air between you shifted slightly, growing more intimate as he leaned closer and closer, his breath almost mingling with yours, his lips just a whisper away from yours and—

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“How long are you planning to stay there?”

You turned your head abruptly, your heart skipping a beat at the familiar voice. There stood Haechan, arms crossed, an annoyed expression on his face as he stared into the car.

Your chest tightened at the sight of him, but you forced yourself to play it cool, letting out a small, frustrated sigh.

Jaemin pulled back, his brow slightly raised as he glanced at Haechan, then back at you. The sudden interruption had shattered the moment.

“Friend of yours?” Jaemin asked, his voice calm but curious, as his eyes searched yours for an answer.

“Yeah, something like that," you replied, laughing awkwardly. "Remember Haechan?"

"Oh, Mr. Gray Area," Jaemin said with a knowing smirk.

“Yep, that’s him,” you said, trying to play it off with a soft chuckle before letting out a small sigh. Quickly, you unbuckled your seatbelt and reached for the door handle. “By the way, don’t leave yet. You forgot something at my house last time, I’ll take it for you real quick.”

“Alright, pretty, take your time.”

Jaemin smiled, leaning back in his seat as his gaze followed you. Meanwhile, Haechan’s eyes were also fixed on you, his arms crossed as he stood waiting. When you stopped in front of him, his brows rose expectantly.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered, trying to keep your tone neutral, though a hint of frustration slipped through.

Haechan shrugged, his expression unreadable. “You were having so many headaches, I wanted to check if you were okay,” he said, the lie rolling off his tongue smoothly.

His gaze flickered to Jaemin, still sitting in the car, who offered him a brief, polite wave. Haechan forced a tight-lipped smile, biting back the urge to roll his eyes. “And apparently, you are,” he added, his voice dropping slightly, laced with sarcasm. “Didn't know you had a thing for bulked-up gym rats. Should I start hitting the gym too, or is he the exception?"

You rolled your eyes, biting back a retort as Jaemin's curious gaze lingered from the car. "Haechan, please—"

"What?" he interrupted, leaning in slightly with a mock-innocent expression. "I just wanna make sure I'm keeping up with your new preferences.”

You lifted a hand to stop him from talking before he could say anything more, and he pressed his lips together in silence right away, though the grumpy expression on his face was impossible to miss.

"Just wait and behave," you said firmly, giving him a pointed look before turning to head inside your house.

Haechan huffed at your words but didn't argue. The moment you disappeared through the door, though, he turned back to Jaemin's car, his gaze narrowing slightly. After a brief pause, he walked closer, his shoes scuffing against the pavement, and knocked on the car window, waiting for Jaemin to lower it.

He leaned in slightly, resting his arms on the edge of the window so he could get a proper look at Jaemin.

Damn. He's hot. That, Haechan couldn't deny. What a handsome man.

Fuck.

He hoped Jaemin had a terrible personality because, honestly, it was unfair for someone to look that good and be a decent person too.

“Yes? Can I help you?” Jaemin asked, a polite smile adorning his face as his brow lifted slightly at the sudden interaction.

Haechan tilted his head, his gaze traveling up and down Jaemin’s figure, taking in every detail as if analyzing him.

“Jaemin, right?” Haechan said back, his lips curving into something between a smirk and a challenge. “Just wanted to see who’s been stealing my girl’s attention from me these days.”

Jaemin let out a small chuckle, tilting his head slightly. “Your girl? Funny, it didn’t seem that way since we started going out.”

Haechan scoffed, but he masked it with a shrug. “Well, she just likes making new friends,” he said casually, though the tightness in his jaw betrayed him.

So this was it, huh? Your sudden distance, the unanswered calls, the excuses—it was all because you’d been going on little dates with this guy. Haechan felt something unpleasant settle in his chest, but he pushed it down, keeping his expression cool.

Jaemin hummed, unfazed by Haechan’s words. His fingers tapped lazily against the steering wheel as he looked at him with mild amusement. “Is that what you tell yourself?”

Haechan let out a dry chuckle, tilting his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jaemin shrugged, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Just saying… You seem a little too interested in her new friends for someone who didn’t want to put a label on things.”

Haechan’s smirk faltered for just a second, but he quickly recovered. “I just like knowing who she spends time with,” he said, his tone light, but there was an edge to it.

Jaemin chuckled, shaking his head. “Right. Well, now you know.” He leaned back in his seat, drumming his fingers against the car door. “Anything else, or can I go back to waiting for her without the interrogation?”

Haechan clicked his tongue, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He wanted to say something, anything, to wipe that amused expression off Jaemin’s face. But before he could come up with a comeback, the front door opened, and you stepped out, holding a jacket in your hands.

As soon as you saw them still talking, you narrowed your eyes. “Is everything okay?” you asked, eyeing Haechan suspiciously.

Jaemin grinned. “Depends on your definition of okay.”

Haechan just huffed, looking away. “Just having a chat,” he muttered.

You sighed, already exhausted. “I don’t even want to know,” you mumbled, handing Jaemin the jacket. “Here, you left this last time.”

Jaemin took it with a grateful smile. “Thanks, pretty.” He shot you a wink, completely ignoring Haechan’s glare.

Haechan clicked his tongue again, stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets. “Great. Now that he got what he came for, he can go,” he said, voice dripping with fake sweetness.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue. “I was leaving anyway,” he said, flashing you one last smile before rolling up his window. “I’ll text you later.”

You smiled and waved as you watched Jaemin’s car disappear down the street. But the moment he was out of sight, your expression shifted, and you turned to Haechan with a sigh.

“I think you can go too,” you said, your voice even, though you weren’t exactly pleased to see him there. Even if—against your better judgment—your heart twisted in something dangerously close to happiness after so long without seeing him.

“What? Are you mad because I interrupted your little ‘date’?” Haechan scoffed, using his fingers to make exaggerated air quotes.

You rolled your eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh as you moved to walk past him, unwilling to entertain whatever mood he was in. But before you could get too far, he was quick to step in front of you, his hands gently grabbing your shoulders to stop you.

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, his voice softer this time, though the usual playful edge was still there. “I just wanna talk. Please?”

His puppy eyes had you folding faster than you’d like to admit. With a sigh, you cleared your throat and gently pushed his hands away, walking past him to your front door. You held it open without a word, and he didn’t waste a second following you inside.

It had only been a few weeks, but as Haechan stepped in, it felt like years since he’d last been here. Everything was the same—the familiar scent of your home, the way your shoes were neatly placed by the door, the dim lighting that made the space feel warm.

He watched as you leaned back against the couch, arms crossed, silently waiting for him to speak. The weight of your gaze made him hesitate, unsure of how to start the conversation, or if he even knew what he wanted to say in the first place.

His throat felt dry as he swallowed hard, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets while his eyes wandered around the room. “You redecorated?” he asked, his voice casual, or at least, trying to sound like it.

You raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“Ah,” he let out a small, awkward chuckle, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Guess it just feels different then.”

“Come on, Haechan,” you sighed, your voice steady but tired. “Just tell me what you’re doing here.”

He frowned slightly, the awkwardness that had filled the room earlier quickly fading as he stepped closer to you. The usual ease in his movements returned as he moved toward the couch.

“What do you mean, ‘what am I doing here’? I missed you,” he said, his voice sincere, genuine as he placed his hands on either side of the couch, leaning in just enough to be close, but still keeping a safe distance, his gaze never leaving yours.

You looked at him, his words hitting you more than you wanted to admit, but you forced yourself to act unimpressed. “Yeah? You came all the way here just to say that? You could’ve just texted me.”

“I did,” he shot back, his voice a little sharper now. “But you left me on read

“Then you should’ve taken the hint that I didn’t miss you.”

He let out a short laugh, though it was laced with bitterness. “Well, I noticed. You’ve been busy, huh? Going out on dates with that guy and all.” His eyes narrowed slightly, the jealousy evident in his voice. “How long have you two been meeting?”

“Why would that be any of your business?”

“I mean, it would be good to know if you started things with him while you were with me,” he said, his voice laced with something you couldn't quite decipher—hurt? Resentment? “Or if it was after you started acting like I don’t exist.”

“With you?” You let out a small, dry laugh. “Donghyuck, we were never together. You made that very clear.”

Haechan’s jaw clenched at your words. He opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. Because you were right. He had been the one who insisted on keeping things the way they were. No labels. No commitments. No messy emotions.

But now that he was faced with the reality of what that actually meant—you moving on, finding someone else—he hated it.

“That’s not—” He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “That’s not fair.”

You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Oh, now it’s not fair?” You shook your head. “It was fair when I was waiting around for you to maybe want something more? When I kept dropping hints, hoping you’d stop pretending you didn’t see them?”

He pressed his lips together, his gaze dropping for a moment. He had seen them. Every single one. And he had ignored them. Every single one.

“Jaemin actually wants to be with me,” you continued, voice softer now but no less firm. “He doesn’t make me feel like I have to prove I’m worth it.”

Haechan’s chest tightened at that. “And I did?”

You didn’t answer right away. You just looked at him, and somehow, that was worse.

He hadn't realized that was how you felt. Sure, he knew he had been difficult, he never denied that, but he never thought he made you feel like you weren’t enough. He thought that by keeping things the way they were, he was protecting what you had, not slowly pushing you away.

“Listen, I…” He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I know I’m an idiot. I know I messed up, and I know I wasn’t being fair to you. I knew what you wanted, and instead of being honest, I chose to pretend I didn’t see it, because I was too scared to do anything about it.”

Your eyebrows lifted slightly in surprise. It wasn’t often that Haechan was this honest. He had always been open with you, yes, but when it came to his own emotions, his fears, his insecurities, he usually buried them under jokes, teasing, and playful distractions. But now, he was just laying it out there, no filter, no deflection.

You swallowed, arms still crossed, but your stance had softened. “…And what exactly were you so scared of?”

He swallowed hard, guilt creeping into his expression. “I didn’t want to lose you,” he admitted, voice quieter now. “I thought if we just kept things the way they were, you’d stay. That I wouldn’t have to face all the scary, complicated parts of actually being with someone.”

“So what?” still, you couldn’t let yourself be swayed so easily. Not when it had taken so much for you to finally step away. “You were scared, so that justifies everything? That makes it okay?”

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “It doesn’t. And I’m not saying it does.” He ran a frustrated hand over his face before meeting your eyes again. “I just—I need you to know that it wasn’t because you weren’t enough. It was never that. It was me being a coward.”

By now, you were already softening toward him, and he could tell. His hands found your face, cupping it gently.

“I’m really sorry,” he murmured. “I swear I never meant to make you feel that way or push you away. Being without you these past days... it made me think about everything. And I already knew this, but you have no idea how much you mean to me. I realized all those doubts didn’t matter, because, God, it’s you. It’s always been you. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.”

His eyes stayed locked on yours, his thumbs tracing soft circles on your cheeks. The way he was looking at you… if not love, then something dangerously close to it.

“Please, give me a chance,” he pleaded. “I know I let you down, and I know words aren’t enough to make up for everything I put you through. But I swear, I won’t mess this up again. I’ll show you—show you just how much I want you, how much you mean to me, how much…"

He took a shaky breath, his grip on your face tightening just slightly, as if afraid you’d slip away.

"How much I need you," he finally whispered. "Not just for now, not just because I miss you, but because I don’t know how to be without you anymore. Because every moment without you felt wrong, and I never want to feel that again. Just… let me prove it to you. Please."

You were speechless at his sudden confession. His eyes held the same desperate sincerity as his voice, and you could feel how genuine he was, more than you’d ever seen before. You were sure that, if you wanted, he’d drop to his knees and beg for your forgiveness. Your heart was pounding so violently, you almost felt like it might burst from your chest, just to show him how deeply he affected you without even trying.

You wanted to speak, but you couldn’t as he kept going, probably babbling at this point. “I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. You want a real relationship? Let’s do it. You want commitment? I’ll give it to you. Hell, you want me to write it in the sky? Tattoo it on my forehead? I’ll—”

You interrupted him by crashing your lips against his.

His eyes widened in surprise, his breath hitching, but it took only a second for him to snap back to reality. He kissed you back just as desperately, as if he had been waiting for this moment forever. One hand slid to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him, while the other cradled the back of your neck, fingers tangling into your hair as he poured every ounce of emotion into the kiss.

You could feel the way he melted against you, how his desperation seeped into the kiss, as if he was trying to pour all the words he couldn't say into it. His grip on you tightened, like he was scared you'd slip away if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

When you finally pulled away, breathless, his lips chased yours, unwilling to let the moment end. “Does that mean…?” he whispered, eyes searching yours, still uncertain.

You exhaled, resting your forehead against his. “It means… you have a lot to make up for.”

A small, breathy chuckle left his lips, but there was no cockiness, no playfulness—just sheer relief. “I will,” he promised, his hands cradling your face as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

His lips met yours once again, this time more gently, more lovingly. He honestly felt like the luckiest person in the world right now.

He pulled away just slightly, his breath still mingling with yours. “Tell me… you and that Jaeman guy—”

“It’s Jaemin,” you corrected.

“Whatever,” he mumbled, brushing it off. “You and Minjae… how far did you go?” His brows lifted slightly, his thumb grazing your lower lip.

You exhaled a soft laugh. “Is it really important?”

“Very much,” he murmured, tilting his head as his fingers trailed down your jaw. “I need to erase every trace of him off you.”

You rolled your eyes, trying, and failing, to hide the small smile creeping up on your lips. “We didn’t do much more than a few pecks…” you admitted.

Haechan groaned dramatically, as if your words physically pained him. “A few pecks?” he repeated, shaking his head. “Disgusting. Unacceptable.”

Before you could roll your eyes again, he was on you, pressing kiss after kiss against your lips, barely giving you a chance to breathe. Each one was soft yet desperate, as if he were really trying to erase every trace of Jaemin’s touch, replacing every memory with his own.

You let out a breathless laugh, trying to push him away, but he was relentless. He peppered kisses along your cheeks, your chin, your nose, your forehead—everywhere he could reach.

“Okay, stop!” you giggled, placing your hand over his mouth to halt his attack. “I get it already.”

His eyes sparkled with mischief as he kissed your palm, his lips lingering against your skin.

“I'm making sure there's no room left for Jaeman.”

Jaemin glanced at his phone screen, checking the time for what felt like the hundredth time. His foot tapped against the floor, his eyes flickering to the entrance every time the bell chimed, expecting—no, hoping—to finally see the person he had been so anxiously waiting for: you.

Don’t get him wrong, he was always excited to see you. But today, that excitement was laced with unease. That feeling had settled in his chest the moment you called him, asking to meet. Usually, just the thought of seeing you would have him grinning like an idiot, but something in your tone during that call had put him on edge. There was a distance in your voice, something careful, something that made his nerves spike.

It didn’t help that it had been days since the last time you properly talked or spent time together. That alone was enough to make him feel uneasy. And now, as he sat there waiting, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this meeting wouldn’t be the kind he was hoping for.

He shook his head slightly, trying to push away the nagging thoughts. Maybe he was just overthinking. Maybe you just wanted to see him because you missed him, just like he missed you. And honestly? That was reason enough for him.

The bell rang again, and this time, when he looked up, there you were. His heart did that little flip it always did whenever he saw you, no matter how much he tried to play it cool. He knew you hadn’t known each other for that long, your time together still fresh and new, but there was something about you that made it feel different.

He called your name and waved to catch your attention, his smile appearing almost instantly as soon as he saw yours. You hurried toward the table, slipping into the seat across from him.

"I'm sorry, did I make you wait too long?" you asked, slightly out of breath. "Something came up, and I couldn't help but be late."

That something had a name and a surname—Lee Donghyuck.

The very person who insisted on accompanying you and personally driving you to the café as soon as you mentioned needing to see Jaemin. Not only did he take the longest route possible, driving at a frustratingly slow pace, but he also kept you trapped in the car, stealing kisses and whining about why you had to see Jaemin at all.

You almost had to beg him not to follow you inside the café, and it took a mix of stern scolding and a few more stolen kisses before you were finally free from his relentless affection.

Jaemin chuckled softly, shaking his head and dismissing your apology with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I didn’t wait that long,” he said, his words making you exhale in relief. “Is everything okay? We haven’t really talked much these past few days.”

You smiled sheepishly. “Oh, yes, sorry. It’s just… a lot’s happened, and I didn’t really have the time to catch up with anyone,” you explained with a light chuckle.

Jaemin’s expression softened, and a hint of relief washed over him. “I’m glad it’s just that,” he said, his tone light. “I thought maybe I did something wrong, messed things up between us.”

You couldn’t help but feel a small pang in your chest at his words. He really did care, of course.

“No, nothing like that. It’s just… things have been a bit complicated lately,” you hesitated for a moment, then decided to be honest. “And I just needed some space to think about… us.”

Jaemin's smile faltered just slightly as he noticed the way you fidgeted with the napkin, your lips pressing into a thin line. The way you avoided his gaze for a moment, only to return to meet his eyes, told him everything he needed to know. He was right—this was going to be an unpleasant conversation.

He remained silent, his gaze steady and attentive, nodding slowly as he listened carefully to every word you said. He could tell that you had thought this through, giving you the space you needed to speak without feeling rushed.

“Look, I really enjoyed our time together, it was honestly so much fun, and you’re such a sweet person, but…” You paused for a brief moment, your mind drifting to the little gremlin waiting for you in the car outside the cafe. “I have someone I care deeply about, despite everything that happened. I want to give it a real shot, because… that’s what I’ve been waiting for. And I really thought I was ready to make things work with you, but I can’t do that when my heart belongs to another person.”

“… I see.” His words were simple, but they carried a certain weight. There was no anger, no resentment, just quiet understanding and a hint of sadness. “I guess I can’t really argue with that, can I?”

You watched as he leaned back in his seat, exhaling a slow breath. His expression was composed, but the way his fingers tapped idly against the table gave him away. He looked… upset. Maybe even hurt. You knew you were doing the right thing, but it didn’t make it any easier.

“It’s not that I don’t like you,” you blurted out, feeling the need to clarify. “You are amazing, Jaemin, and you deserve someone just as good as you are. And I’m not—”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted gently, offering you a small chuckle—one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He had noticed the way you were starting to fidget, your nervousness creeping in. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re doing something wrong. I appreciate your honesty. I can’t say I’m happy about it, but… I kind of saw this coming.”

You frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”

Jaemin tilted his head, studying you for a moment before giving you a knowing smile. “It’s Haechan, isn’t it? The person you were just talking about.”

You nodded sheepishly. Was it really that obvious?

He let out another small chuckle, shaking his head. “Yeah… I had a feeling. Especially after our last encounter,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck before meeting your gaze again. “Honestly? I wish things were different. I really do. But I get it,” his voice softened. “When someone already has your heart, there’s not much room left for anyone else, is there?”

You had prepared yourself for anger, maybe even disappointment, but this quiet acceptance made it so much harder.

“I really am sorry,” you whispered.

He offered you a small, bittersweet smile. “Don’t be. Just… be happy, alright?” He reached across the table and gave your hand a small squeeze before pulling away. “And if he ever messes up, I’ll be right here to say ‘I told you so,’” he smirked.

You let out a soft chuckle, shaking your head. “Noted.” Then, hesitating for a moment, you asked, “Would it be stupid of me to ask if we can still be friends?”

Jaemin blinked, then huffed a small laugh. “No, of course not,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’d love that.”

You felt a weight lift off your shoulders at his words, though the guilt still lingered. You had expected this conversation to go much worse—maybe some resentment, maybe some bitterness—but Jaemin was handling it with the same grace and kindness he had always shown you.

“Thank you,” you said sincerely. “For understanding. For everything, really.”

Jaemin leaned back, a fond but slightly teasing smile playing on his lips. “Well, I can’t say I’m thrilled about the outcome, but I meant what I said. I want you to be happy.” He tilted his head, eyes twinkling just a little. “Even if it’s with him.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “You’re making it sound like I chose the worst possible person.”

Jaemin shrugged. “I don’t hate the guy. But let’s just say he’s not exactly my first pick for you.”

“Fair enough,” you admitted, biting back another chuckle.

A comfortable silence settled between you two, and you felt grateful that, despite everything, Jaemin was still Jaemin—kind, understanding, and someone you truly wanted to keep in your life.

Donghyuck jolted in his seat when he glanced at the rearview mirror and saw you saying goodbye to his number one enemy. He clicked his tongue, muttering something under his breath, before quickly looking away as you slid into the car. He tried to act nonchalant, though the urge to have his hands all over you was undeniable.

“So?” He raised his brows, his voice thick with curiosity as he glanced at your smiling face. His mind cursed Jaemin a thousand times over, though he tried to hide it behind a playful demeanor.

“Well, he was very lovely the whole time,” you said, pulling your seatbelt across your body. “And we agreed to stay friends.”

The words hit him like a breath of fresh air, and he let out a relieved sigh, not bothering to hide it this time. For a moment there, he thought you might change your mind, and he’d be left in misery forever.

"Good," he muttered, his grip on the wheel loosening, his gaze softening as he glanced over at you. “So, I behaved as you said and I patiently waited for you here, do I deserve my reward now?”

You shot him a teasing smile, leaning back in your seat. “Oh? You think you deserve a reward just for waiting?”

He pouted, though it only made him look more endearing. “Come on, you can’t leave me hanging like this. I’ve been a perfect gentleman,” he said, his voice playful yet sincere.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, but the smile that tugged at your lips betrayed you. “Alright, alright. You did alright, I guess.”

By now, he was already leaning closer, his breath brushing against your lips. Without missing a beat, you cupped his face in your hands and pulled him in for a deep, searing kiss. Haechan couldn't help but smile into it, feeling his heart race.

He must admit, he really like it this way.

↝ taglist: @yizhrt, @sinisxtea, @peterm4rker.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE *  assorted dialogue from the 2013 film, adjust as necessary

if you die, and i live, i'd have nothing. nobody else that i care about.

it's different for you. your family needs you.

you have to live. for them.

nobody needs me.

i do. i need you.

how does that sound?

what if we set your backyard on fire?

he can't hurt me. there's no one left that i love.

remember who the real enemy is.

we got married... in secret.

we want our love to be eternal.

we've been luckier than most.

i just wanted to say that i didn't know [name]. i only spoke to him once.

he could have killed me, but instead he showed me mercy.

that's a debt i'll never be able to repay.

she wasn't just my ally. she was my friend.

i couldn't save her. i'm sorry.

you guys look amazing.

so what do you think, now that the whole world wants to sleep with you?

i wasn't talking to you.

will you unzip?

thanks. let's do it again sometime.

the way the whole "friend" thing works is you have to tell each other the deep stuff.

what's your favorite color?

now you've stepped over the line.

see, this is why no one lets you make the plans.

you have been our mission from the beginning.

the plan was always to get you out.

people are looking to you, [name].

you've given them an opportunity. they just have to be brave enough to take it.

we have seen a lot of tears here tonight.

you are angry. tell me why.

i'm getting totally screwed over here.

now you wanna kill me again.

nobody decent ever wins the games.

nobody ever wins the games. period. there are survivors. there's no winners.

love is weird.

i would love to borrow that outfit someday.

you look pretty terrifying in that get-up.

i outgrew them.

any secrets worth my time?

unfortunately, i think that's true.

i'm sorry you had to cancel your wedding.

i'm really not in the mood for a lecture.

you don't have to apologize to anybody, including me.

i hardly know anything about you except that you're stubborn and good with a bow.

there's more than that. you just don't want to tell me.

make him pay for it.

any last advice?

stay alive.

she's committed, i'll give her that.

you saved my life. you gave me a chance.

fear does not work as long as there is hope.

you were dead. your heart stopped.

how rude of them.

eyes bright, chins up, smiles on.

we're a team, aren't we?

i am truly sorry.

you both deserved so much better.

i don't want to be with anyone else in there. just you.

that's what i want.

no waving and smiling this time.

i want you to look straight ahead as if the audience and this whole event are beneath you.

that should be easy.

be careful. it's a force field up there.

i think these games are gonna be different.

i guess we're not holding hands anymore.

i don't care about any of them.

i'm here to drink.

you know and i know there's only one person walking out of here, and it's gonna be one of us.

i get to say goodbye.

they will kill us.

whatever game you think you're playing, those out there are not playing it with you.

i don't want you to get hurt.

so how do you like the party?

you could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that boy.

you don't want to shoot her.

how about i shoot both of you?

get them out of here.

[nyaboshiikun]

Can we see more of the rest of petey’s band personally lives? (If not totally okay)

Yeah it's okay!!!!but i do apologise that i have no drawings for the each of them 🙁

> oh yeah I don't know if you want their past or present lives so i ended up writing their past life ^_^

a bonus art of them eating in jolibee

~Big Jim

Big Jim's mom and Petey's are best friends, they both played in a band called "The Hersheys" back in the 70s, although his mother plays the guitar in the band whereas Big Jim's plays keyboard (even back way to his childhood) his mum bought him a portable keyboard piano for Christmas :D

Big Jim's childhood is pretty much more positive than Petey's, Grace looked after him after the incident (from Big Jim Begins) resulting Petey and Big Jim eventually bonded as brothers! A month after that, Big Jim's aunt took him to her care, he still lived his best life growing up playing his keyboard, watching Animes, playing games, going outside making friends, and ofcourse baking cupcakes as his hobby.

~Yolay

As i previously mentioned before, Yolay is an ex member of their now Opponent Band (I'll introduce them someday!!) she felt the toxic environment in the management leaving her sick and tired everyday, more than that her bandmates are always arguing during sessions so she didn't really enjoyed playing in it and despite her being popular within their band, one of the members sometimes have Yolay embarrass herself in front of the live audience due to jealousy and she was on her limit to really leave the band.

~Flippy

He's just a chill guy with 22 adopted kids 😁

Actually he's a pub drummer (like a full time drummist) just your regular guy getting payed for doing a couple beats for a couple of bands, but ofcourse it's a pub, sometimes Flippy gets slanders about him being the worst drummer or getting insulted by a buncha wack drunkos and him being mad causes him to crash out and start getting into fights, he wants to leave but this was his only job.

~Max

Max is just your regular Max, he met Petey back in highschool due to a class group (a duo) for a research in science, and yknow what happened in the end? They almost blew up the whole school because of their experiment! Both of these dummies relate to eachother due to their issues among one parent (they both have father issues LMAO) Max really doesn't want to talk about his family that much it gives him the heebie jeebies but he's not EMO unlike Petey, he's flashy and popular with girls but he spends alot of his time with Sam. Sometimes the three of them would commit shenanigans together leaving Petey in a third wheel www

Annndd that's pretty much it! They're just all a bunch of losers with a melancholic past i hope this answers your question ^^

[pascaloverx]

Moonlight

Summary: You and Edward Cullen used to have a romantic relationship. But fate seemed not to believe in the possibility of a vampire and a potential she-wolf being together. Years after your separation, you return to Forks. Edward is committed to Bella Swan, and Jacob Black has his own pack. What happens when, upon your return, you begin to transform into a she-wolf and both Edward and Jacob seem eager to revisit the past with you?

Author's Note: The characters in this fanfic do not belong to me but to Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight universe. The story blends events that happened in the Twilight saga movies with invented ones. Enjoy reading. This story will contain inappropriate language, a possible love triangle, scenes of violence, and romance.

AO3 LINK TWO

ONE

The same nightmare every night, recurring in your mind as if it were an impossible memory to forget. A large part of the Quileute tribe killed by the hands of the one you will someday love. Not that your love story with Edward Cullen was worth anything. After all, he is a vampire. You are a descendant of a lineage of shapeshifters who transform into wolves. What could go right in this story? You've been driving for about two hours to reach Forks. It's been a month since you started having nightmares involving the tribe to which you belong and your ex-boyfriend. So, you decided to return to Forks to see your friends and those who are like family to you and, if possible, stay as far away as possible from Edward Cullen.

"If you had picked up your phone, Sam, you'd know I'm almost there. But since you didn't, just know I'm entering Forks now. I'll head to La Push as soon as possible." You say, leaving a message on Sam's voicemail. He knew you'd be arriving soon but didn't know exactly when. In fact, it was his idea for you to return to Forks. As your nightmares have become more frequent, you're so sleepy that you can barely tell how you're still managing to drive.

And then, like flashbacks in your mind, your moments with Edward and the pack you were part of come to the surface. You remember how you met Edward amidst a fight between the Quileutes and the Cullen vampires. One of them had accidentally crossed the border that separated the vampires from the wolves. It was chaos. Your father, who was alive at the time, was very angry and considered killing a Cullen to show that invading Quileute territory was a bad idea. Luckily, Jacob's father was more sensible. Edward read your mind for the first time that day. He knew you were curious about what the Cullens were doing crossing the border that separated the two enemies. So later, at the border, he found you and explained. Jasper had been hunting an unknown vampire who had hurt Alice and ended up crossing over. That was the first time you wondered if a vampire was okay, and when Edward noticed your slight concern for Jasper, he believed you were different. Amidst your moment of recollection, you lose concentration. But you only realize this when your car hits someone hard. You're dazed by the impact, but as soon as you look ahead, you feel a certain relief. Edward is right in front of you, staring at you with a curious look as if he doesn't quite understand that it's really you.

"What are you doing, Cullen?" you ask in an enraged tone. Of course you're angry. He's a vampire, unscathed after the collision with your car, while your car and you have suffered some impact. I mean, you can feel blood trickling near your right eye, but the damage to your car is definitely more significant.

"It's going to sound strange. Alice had a vision that saw me doing this as soon as you arrived here. I'm not saying I did it on purpose. In fact, I am hunting. But you really are here." Edward speaks as if he still doesn't quite understand that you're actually in front of him. You take a deep breath, trying to resist the urge to kill him for what happened to your car. In reality, you're unsure whether you should get out of the car or not. You're bleeding, and that could be a challenge for Edward.

"I'm not going to attack you, don't worry. I thought you knew I would never do something like that to you. I mean…" Edward says, and you automatically get out of the car, walking toward him. Something about the proximity between you leaves both of you speechless. You always hated when Cullen listened to your thoughts, and he knows that. The courtesy of having your private thoughts respected seemed to be valid only during your relationship.

"You mean you wouldn't attack anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. I know, I know you, Edward. What surprises me is the fact that you don't seem to know me. You know I hate when you… never mind. Maybe you only respected me while we were together. Now we're strangers to each other." You say, realizing how different he seems, even though he hasn't aged a day since the last time you saw him.

"I'm still the same, Y/N. The same guy you walked away from years ago." Edward speaks softly but with a certain sadness in his words. You look at him, unsure of how to respond. Yes, you ended your brief relationship out of fear of what your father would do to him if he found out.

"Look, I didn't intend to bring the past back. I think it's better if you go your way and I go mine." You say, turning to leave and drive your somewhat damaged car. But Edward appears in front of you before you can open the door.

"Carlisle can take care of that for you. I know he'd be glad to see you again." Edward says, stepping a little closer to you. You stare at him, this time not understanding what he wants. It's obvious he's talking about the injury on your head, but you don't understand why he seems so reluctant to distance himself.

"And I should go to your father figure and ask him to help me based on what? The fact that you and I were together years ago? The fact that my tribe has no idea what happened between us? Maybe I should go ask him how he feels about seeing you about to marry a human. What do you think, Edward?" Your tone is absurdly ironic but realistic. Just the fact that you're here now with Edward could jeopardize everything. If Sam or Jacob see you here with him talking about your past relationship, it could cause a mess. Not to mention that Cullen is now committed.

"I caused this in you. Maybe you should go to Carlisle for the same reason anyone in this town would. You've had an accident, Y/N, you need to take care of this." Edward says, gently touching the area where you got hurt. You let out a soft groan of pain and then pull away.

"How do you suggest I deal with the complications that going to Carlisle would bring me?" You ask, almost grumbling. Edward smiles slightly, as if he even misses these conversations you used to have when you were together.

"Do you remember the farthest spot from here where we used to meet when we were dating? Meet Carlisle there when you can. Unfortunately, Jacob is already on his way here, and I think it's better if I'm not here when he arrives." Edward speaks, and before you can say anything in response, he's already gone.

"Your cowardice is remarkable!" You shout, hoping he hears you. As you turn around, Black is behind you. He's clearly sweaty, must have come running in his human form.

"What happened to you, Y/N?" Jacob Black asks, quickly approaching you. He must be worried because you're injured and apparently talking to yourself in the middle of the road.

"I had an accident. I hit an animal, actually. It was quite a mess. How did you know I was here?" You ask curiously as Jacob gets closer to you, analyzing and sniffing you. You wonder if you smell bad, but then remember that Edward was here just a little while ago.

"Since when did you learn to lie to me? I thought we were honest with each other." Jacob says, looking into your eyes, and you feel guilty for lying to him.

"You want to have a relationship argument here? Then it was better not to have come at all. If you could excuse me." You say, walking past Jacob and heading towards your car, but he gently grabs your hand before you can open the car door.

"I missed you," Jacob says as he gently strokes your hand. You look at him and then walk towards him, embracing him.

"I missed you too, more than you can imagine. How about you drive what's left of my car to La Push, so we can have a better conversation?" You say, hugging him tighter, as if you didn't want to let go. It's strange, but seeing him safe made you feel better. After dreaming so many times about Jacob's death, it's good to see him like this.

"I'll drive your old tin can here. You can sit comfortably in the passenger seat. And don't worry, I'm sure there will be some bandages for you there." He says, kissing your cheek and opening the passenger door for you. You get into the car and watch him enter the car and take the wheel. He starts driving, and you slowly begin to close your eyes, hoping that now that you're in Forks, your nightmares won't come true.

[yayll]

~ a little something about the complicated way you and Dazai acknowledge each other's feelings ~

"We can't let it end like this. We simply can't."

"Dazai, what are you talking about? I'm literally just going on my lunch break."

"... I'll find a way for us to be together! Someday!"

You've been bickering back and forth with him ever since you stepped foot in the agency this morning, or more like he's been performing a whiney one sided narrative that you and your co-workers are more than familiar with. Though it's only ever directed at you. The confusing declarations of love, the lack of personal space, and then there are the days he won't even look or speak to you at all. It was emotional whiplash, but you did your best to drown out the feelings he evoked in you.

Dangerous ones you wouldn't dare indulge in, because if so, you get the feeling your heart would never recover from a man like Dazai. You grab your wallet, and push in your desk chair when he calls out to you once more in a much more serious tone, one that sounds bored.

"If you must leave, will you please pick up something on your way back for me?"

"What is it this time?"

"Bandages, I suppose"

He says that like it's an afterthought, like he couldn't care less for whatever he was asking for.

He's been asking you to go on odd little shopping trips for him for weeks now, and you being the dog you are, say yes every single time. You think about how Dazai loathes dogs. It makes you physically ill the way you feel about him. Whatever it is. You nod, and reply softly.

"Okay. Sure."

"So compliant! If I didn't know any better l'd say you're madly in love with me. Should we run off into the sunset and get married?"

You simply stare at his sardonic smile for a long while, and he stares back. It's like you're sending each other psychic waves, secret messages only you two could decode. Only you two could fathom. He stares into you with that piercing gaze of his, the one that might as well call you an idiot for ever thinking there's a real person behind his heavenly face. His eyes are pretty, they make yours feel dull in comparison. After a while, a faint half smile creeps onto your lips, trying to feign the same indifference as his. You fail, obviously.

"Mm, sounds too hopeful, even for you."

"Yikes! Right you are. Commitment. How awful.... No one wants that kind of trouble."

Dazai states cruelly, leaning back into his chair at his desk, arms crossed. He has to bite down to keep from smiling and giggling like a fool, as this is exactly what he wishes would happen.

His heart flutters for a brief moment at the visual of such a fantasy, such privilege to have you forever. He knows how badly you secretly want this too, but he doesn't plan on putting you out of your misery just yet. Shame on you to think of him as a real person who's allowed to pursue the things he wants! He continues when he sees you've gone completely silent, standing with your keys in your hand like a mannequin.

"Besides, I'm sure you've met plenty of other guys that are far more suitable for you. I mean, look at me, I used to be a criminal." He winks at you, hinting at his sketchy past. He's such a fantastic performer when he's at his worst.

"... And no one wants that kind of trouble, right?" You echo his past words back to him, once again failing to match his rejection.

"Oh you wretched little creature. Right again!"

You can't take much of this any longer, smiling politely as you simply turn around, and walk out of the agency. Your eyes sting.

Dazai just sits there, staring at the door, counting the seconds until you're back. He rests his chin on his palm, unblinking. He taps his fingers on the desk, and lets out a deep sigh. It's all he does, all he looks forward to every single day you leave.

You finally come back nearly an hour later, carrying a small bag and leftovers from your lunch. He lights up like the moon during the clearest night sky, and stands up immediately. His demeanor completely changes as he flashes you a delighted grin, rushing to you.

"You're back~"

"Yeah, here are your bandages."

"My what?"

"The bandages you asked for..?"

His eyes widen for a moment, and then he chuckles, shaking his head. He flicks his own forehead.

"Of course! Thank you. Now, may I have the receipt as well?"

He looks excited, his open palm cupped in front of you, as if you were giving him a treat. You raise a brow and shrug, handing him the crumpled piece of paper. You don't even question it anymore. He frowns. You think he looks like a disgruntled little kid.

"Ugh. You wrinkled it."

"What? Why does it matter?"

"Well I obviously wanted to keep it, silly goose."

You try to make sense of what he could possibly mean, and you decide it's not worth getting into. You can't afford the heartache nor the brain cells.

"That's the weirdest thing you've ever asked me."

"Not true. I've never asked you for a kiss~"

You almost drop to the floor with the way his eyes darken, despite his tone being the complete opposite. You stare at him yet again for what feels like ages, your heart set ablaze, with Dazai being the pyromaniac who won't let your embers die out of his own amusement. Your voice comes out low, meek.

"Well I'm clearly not the person you dream of, so no."

You could swear his awful smirk falls off just a tiny bit, but any evidence of that is gone in a blink of an eye. His voice comes out soft and laced with a hint of honeyed bitterness.

"And if you weren't, l'd dream of you anyway."

He mutters under his breath as he looks out the window, as if you weren't supposed to hear that. the sun is slowly setting and the moon will illuminate soon after. He wishes he could see what you look like at night.

You roll your eyes because if you don't, you'll bury your face in his chest and sob. Oh, he's the worst. You put on your best cynical voice followed by a scoff.

"That's lovely, Dazai."

"You look lovely." He states simply, still looking at the way the moon ghosts in the sky.

"... Thank you."

"It's my pleasure." He murmurs, solemnly. In that moment, you don't catch it, but he's telling you he loves you too.

And just like that, you slowly walk past him and sit at your desk. You might have a stroke, but you still have reports to finish.

Dazai quietly does the same, sitting down and opening a drawer, and then a secret compartment within it. He glances at you for a moment, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he flashes you an exaggerated smile when you catch him looking, then turns his attention back down, the smile dropping.

He places the wrinkled receipt into a larger stack of countless other receipts, all from past errands you've run for him lately. He smoothes it carefully, for it is a priceless sentiment amongst his collection of the things you so graciously give him. It's pathetic, but it's like holding your hand. It's like kissing you. It's like true love.

[cuppajj]

You know, I just really, really want to say this. You are an exceptionally talented artist. I was genuinely surprised when you answered that one ask a while ago, saying you're self-taught. Because I truly, legitimately believed you were an art student or something lol. I'm honestly blown away by the fact that you're self-taught. That you figured all of this out all by yourself. Both your Cookie Run stuff and your original work. You should be proud, because I know it must've taken you a lot of time and hard work to get to where you are today. I both admire you greatly and envy you terribly (the latter stings a little to say, but it's true haha). I wish I could do what you can. You make it all look so easy... I wish I could say I'm your equal, but I'm far from it and I'm not sure how long it'll take for me to get there, or if I'll ever get there at all. But seeing what you're able to accomplish now is really rather inspiring. If you can do it, then maybe I can, too. Someday. Somehow. If only it could be today, though haha

Sorry if I sound weird or mushy, I've actually wanted to say this to you for a while now. I sincerely hope you find pride and joy in your art because you deserve to. Your drawings, your animations, even your writing. You're a jack of all trades haha. You're a very talented, creative, fun and hardworking person. And I wish you all the joy and success in the world, all the time. You've got something really great going here, keep it up for as long as you're able and willing to

Aww Merchant, that’s so sweet of you!!

I don’t often think of how far I’ve come mostly all by myself, let alone the message it can carry.. admittedly one of my biggest artist flaws is acknowledging my accomplishments haha, so this message really means a lot!

If I could give any advice for you:

Believe me when I felt like my art style was stagnating for the longest time, but I’ve come to learn that in just four years I’ve gone from having okay-but-mid art to making some pieces that impress the worst critic in myself!! And really the only thing that changed was my mindset. I stopped wanting to make high quality stuff every time and instead focused on the gradual grind. Commitment is what makes or breaks an artist.

And sadly, art is not easy. You’re going to hate how your art looks. You’re going to be envious of other artists. You’re going to compare yourself. I was like that once, still have those moments today. But the secret to truly feeling like your art is yours is to acknowledge that you’re constantly improving. Don’t call yourself an equal (or a superior or inferior) to anyone, because that implies there’s an established objective tier of artists with you below people you’re inspired by. Every artist has their own flow, their own starting point, their own ways of growing, which makes comparison unfair and more unhealthy than you think!

I’ve seen your redraw of Pepper Jack and Celestial Cheese, and your art has changed a lot within a year for the better. I think that’s a sign! The only difference between you and me is I started before you. But, that’s neither a right or a wrong thing, just a fact that has no effect on you.

I think the only goal an artist should have is learning to appreciate the art they make. I’m still reaching for that myself, and someday you’ll get there if you try! Just be less hard on yourself. Acknowledge where you are and where you were. And most importantly, keep at it! You might be surprised how much can change in another year

[widow-tarot]

PAC: What Would They Tell You If They Could? (Romance)

GROUPS: 1 - 2 - 3 4 - 5 - 6

You can always tip me! - paypal.me/sadwidow

dividers by @kodaswrld

If you want to support me, please reblog!

Instruction: Think about your person while choosing a group. Do not use more than 1 group for one person. Just to remind you, this is only for entertainment purposes.

If you don't feel drawn to any group, then this reading is not for you.

GROUP 1

Cards: Ace of Wands, Knight of Wands rx, Wheel of Fortune rx, I Like You, Girl Talk rx, Pond, Archangel Metatron.

I like you. I know it's straightforward, but I cannot say it in any other way that's more meaningful or more direct. It might not sound meaningful but it is to me (I hope it is to you too). I feel there is a spiritual connection between us and it seems no matter what, we keep coming back to each other. Our connection is like a pond; can be insignificant to others but to us, it holds so much life and secrets but it can easily be destroyed if not cultivated. We are so hot and cold; we like each other, and then we hate each other over something trivial (we both don't know what exactly annoyed us). I want to move towards you but things are holding me back. There's so much I want to do and say but I'm standing still. I know we will truly come together someday. No one knows about it because I don't share those feelings with friends. It seems too private and sacred.

SONGS:

Eric by Mitski ("Take off my clothes and watch me move; You can come closer, I'll let you hurt me; But how long, how long can we play this way?; I'm tired, I'm tired of not loving you"

Blue Velvet by Lana Del Rey ("Ours a love I held tightly; Feeling the rapture grow; Like a flame burning brightly; But when she left; Gone was the glow")

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You, Baby by Cigarettes After Sex ("Whispered something in your ear; It was a perverted thing to say; But I said it anyway; Made you smile and look away; Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby; As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine")

GROUP 2

Cards: 9 of Pentacles, 2 of Pentacles, 7 of Cups, Noose rx, Mushrooms, The Snake, Hammer rx, Seraphim Seraphisa rx.

You will forever be in my heart and mind, but we can never be together in the way we want. There are way too many blockages and I do think we are not fit to be in a relationship. I am in a committed relationship (or you are) and I do not wish to leave her for I love her. Maybe I am a coward, but I am a practical and cautious one. I will not take reckless actions just to wake up one day and regret it. I think what we have is a fantasy, pleasant make-believe, daydreaming. However, I don't want you gone because you're an important person to me. I wish you happiness but I can't follow you.

SONGS:

Lonesome Love by Mitski ("I call you, to see you again; So I can win, and this can finally end")

Blue Banisters by Lana Del Rey ("She said, "You can't be a muse and be happy, too; You can't blacken the pages with Russian poetry and be happy"; And that scared me; 'Cause I met a man who said he'd come back every May;Just to help me if I'd paint; Now when weather turns to May; All my sisters come to paint")

Flash by Cigarettes After Sex ("I'm a flash; You were blinded by the love I had; I'm a flash; The light could only get in through the cracks")

GROUP 3

Cards: The Hierophant rx, 8 of Wands, The Devil, 10 of Swords rx, Wildflowers, Mirror, Keys on a Ring, Archangel Raphael.

You are the temptation, the chaos in my life, the wildflowers that can still be growing but can also be already taken by someone else while I wasn't looking. You're untouchable, unable to be caught, translucent. One minute you're here only to leave seconds later just to come back and stay for a long time. You're unpredictable, a sin worth sinning for. But I hate to be alone and you make me sad. I love to see you but I hate myself when you leave. I don't know if you have any feelings for me; is it something serious or is it just casual and convenient? I can't do this anymore, I'm trapped and I feel miserable. I wish I could tell you to stay away, to abandon me, to never come back. It would be easier for me to move on then but I am a fool for you. I wish I was strong enough to talk things through but I'd rather have some of you than none of you. Then again, being with you hurts me so what should I do?

SONGS:

Should've Been Me by Mitski ("Relive all the ways you still want me; I haven't given you what you need; You wanted me but couldn't reach me; I'm sorry it should've been me"

Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey ("I will love you till the end of time; I would wait a million years; Promise you'll remember that you're mine; Baby, can you see through the tears?; You went out every night; And, baby, that's alright; But when you walked out that door; A piece of me died")

Ambien Slide by Cigarettes After Sex ("Take my love with some pretend; You said you couldn't help it; Had everything that you wanted; When my love was something yours; But now you're feeling helpless")

GROUP 4

Cards: Death, Page of Pentacles rx, The Chariot rx, Archangel Sammael, Eileen Chang rx, Boat rx, Engagement Ring rx.

I don't want to try to fix this thing between us anymore, it's a fool's errand. We tried and it didn't work, it's time to move on to something else because we are just wasting our time and I'm exhausted. Let me go. Let me leave, peacefully. I don't want to fight but I'm frustrated. I think we tried to escape the inevitable but at the end of the road, we cannot pretend any longer. Relieve me of this burden and don't resent me.

SONGS:

Working For The Knife by Mitski ("I always thought the choice was mine; And I was right, but I just chose wrong")

Bel Air by Lana Del Rey ("Gargoyles standing at the front of your gate; Trying to tell me to wait; But I can't wait to see you; So I run, like I'm mad, to heaven's door; I don't wanna be bad; I won't cheat you no more")

Tejano Blue by Cigarettes After Sex ("We wanted to fuck with real love; Wanted it sweet, so pure and warm; And when you say you want it all, I know you want it all; Baby, take it all from me; I always will make it feel like you were the last one; So get in the waves like it was the first time")

GROUP 5

Cards: The Star rx, 7 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords rx, Glove rx, The Phoenix, Paradise rx, Archangel Haniel.

I wish we could start anew, without any bitter history between us that holds us back and clouds our judgment. We cannot fully be together while all these thoughts are troubling us, making us suspicious of each other and insecure. I know we both lost hope for this connection, yet we are still going and proceeding with it in any way we can. We don't want this to be over but we need to find a solution. I want you in my life and I'm willing to put work into it. Are you? Someone needs to make the first step though and it's the most difficult thing to do. We cannot stay still for much longer though. We communicate telepathically but we also have to communicate in real life.

SONGS:

First Love/Late Spring by Mitski ("Please hurry leave me; I can't breathe; Please don't say you love me; One word from you and I would; Jump off of this ledge I'm on; Tell me "don't" so I can crawl back in")

Video Games by Lana Del Rey ("It's you, it's you, it's all for you; Everything I do; I tell you all the time; Heaven is a place on earth with you; Tell me all the things you wanna do; It's better than I ever even knew; They say that the world was built for two; Only worth living if somebody is loving you")

Goodbye Mr Blue by Father John Misty (" But maybe if he'd gone sooner; Could've brought us back together last June; When the last time was our last time; If only then I knew; The last time was our last time; Would've told you that the last time comes too soon")

GROUP 6

Cards: Page of Swords rx, 9 of Cups rx, 4 of Swords, Sappho, Archangel Chamuel, Cupid's Arrow rx, Separation rx.

Do you love me? You say you do why does your love cause so much pain? Why am I in agony instead of being elated and happy? Is this how you show your love? I feel neglected and manipulated. I feel ignored and mocked. Am I your partner or your pet? Do you even care what I want? Do you care what I have to say? You treat me as a child as if I cannot think or decide for myself. Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think so lowly of me? When you're not here, I don't miss you and my mind is at ease. I lost all hope for anything to change. It hurts even more because I love you, but your love is weird and dysfunctional. I feel trapped. I even stopped speaking my mind because it was met with ridicule and anger.

SONGS:

Wife by Mitski ("For if I am not yours, what am I?; I daydream I'd give one a name of my own; For even I am on loan; For even mine is unknown; So let me go towards the morning star; With hope it won't disappear;)

Carmen by Lana Del Rey ("Baby's all dressed up, with nowhere to go; That's the little story of the girl you know; Relyin' on the kindness of strangers; Darlin', darlin', doesn't have a problem; Lyin' to herself, 'cause her liquor's top shelf; It's alarmin', honestly, how charmin' she can be; Foolin' everyone, tellin' 'em she's havin' fun")

Hot by Cigarettes After Sex ("Is it all in my head? 'Cause I keep getting scared; That I'll always be lost forever; But I don't give a shit if I'm too delicate; When you hold me, it's always better")

[hbheavensent]

Asmodeus/Fizz

Teehee my blue boy and my second favorite clown :33 My thoughts/reasons for changes below the cut!

I'll start with Ozzie first because I don't even really mind his original design, I just dislike his head looking bug-like and sorta awkward. I DID love his drag fashion style so I wanted to keep most of that. I also wanted to limit his colors a bit to give his look a touch more focus.

In regards to his outfit I wanted to play into a bondage sort of aesthetic with the ribbons. I imagine they shoot out to grab people while also constraining him, adding in some body horror to the whole thing. I was also thinking that he is affectively blind which is apart of his punishment after falling from grace for trying to consort with Raphael repeatedly. He is the fifth to fall just after Mammon does. Something I also want to change is how Succubi come about, rather than being made by Ozzie like how Satan made the Imps, Succubi are a product of his ring and humans becoming more and more lustful. They spawn in at first as opposed to being made and are unable to carry children but can breed with others as long as they carry the child. No "Pure Succubi" has blood related parents. Succubi I also think have a slightly longer lifespan of an average 150 years vs an Imp's 80 years, though they show no signs of aging until they die. Other than that, Lust is really similar to the show.

Ozzie in my version has the best intentions most of the time, his sin is the weakest because it impacts his and others day to day lives the least arguably. Ozzie at his worst is committing adultery and cheating but if he has a partner who is FINE with him being like that? It's no big deal. Not to mention a lot of people in Hell are sex positive, rarely is anyone clutching their pearls about these things. This sort of laxness is what gives Ozzie a skewed perception on the other Sins, sure he understands compulsions because he has them just as strongly but it's not actively ruining his quality of life like it would for Mammon or Belphegor. In this way it's caused a lot of friction between him and the other sins with the exception of Beelzebub, who they only hang out once in a blue moon since she's always busy. Ozzie is also one of the sins who very heavily interacts with the "lower class" of demons, seen as approachable but not in the same way Bee is. He for sure floats above things a bit but he's known to have relationships with just about anyone, often coming back home to just one person. This is where we get into his relationship to Fizz. They're not toxic by any means, Ozzie and him communicate well all things considered. Naturally they did meet through Mammon requesting the sex bots, because frankly Mammon does NOT want to handle any of that and knows Ozzie would.

Through multiple meetings and measurements Fizz/Ozzie started having flings which turned into a more stable relationship. Fizz doesn't mind that Ozzie messes with other people and the power dynamic between them rarely comes into play in their personal lives. Rather, the reason Fizz and Ozzie avoid public stuff is due to Fizz being uncomfortable with other people's observations about them. To Ozzie this is something he's experienced thousands of times. That's the thing though isn't it? Ozzie has had this kind of relationship with a mortal creature over and over again. He's a wonderful partner, supportive and kind- but in 60-80 years when Fizz gets old and dies? How long will it take for Ozzie to forget him? To forget the moments they had?

He's forgotten others, so.. what makes Fizz different?

He's not.

That's where their main conflict comes from, Fizz already feels insignificant unless he's performing and getting that external validation. So much of Fizz is wanting a legacy, wanting people to know him and look up to him. Fizz, at his core, is insecure unless he's in the limelight and peacocking or acting. To know that he is a blip in eons of time to Ozzie and someday that he won't matter to the person he loves most? That sucks. I want his arc to focus on that though admittedly I have some more writing to do there. For Fizz's new outfit I really just wanted to have him.. perform in his bosses colors. Because why would be represent Ozzie on Mammon's stage??? EVER??? Not that he can't have his cannon look/outfits since I borderline changed nothing and I like his design a lot :P

Anyway, here's the lineup as per usual! I'll be adding my four Angel OCs before moving to the Hazbin Hotel side of things :)

[whyareyoulookingatmelikethat]

[13]: Twirling Thread

(Longer than my usual stories.)

This took a while, heh. Sorry for the wait in regards of stories, writer's block has arrived at Destination Me.

Not sure if I'll do the rest of the characters, feeling pretty down. Maybe someday.

(Reader is the costume designer for the toons. The names above each paragraph of writing are the names of certain skins in the game.)

Boxten: “Cloudy Dream”

“Almost…almost…there!”

You sat up to lean back and look over your work.The prettiest shade of lavender dripped from a small paintbrush you held, a can of white as well close by.

“Okay, we can let it dry, and then you can take the tarp off. Don’t want your clothes to get paint on them too.”

He reached up gingerly to pat his face down as he normally would, but you grabbed his hand quickly, forcing it away.

“Boxten…”

“Sorry, sorry! It’s a habit…”

Poppy: “Sapphire Dots”

“You’re sure this isn't a bit tacky?”

“I don’t care if it's tacky, what matters is I’m wearing it, and I’m proud!”

“Being proud doesn’t hide a poor sense of fashion.”

“Y/N!!!”

Tisha: “Lavender Maid”

“And to top it all off…”

You brought out the item from behind your back and gave it to her.

“A brand new feather duster!”

She gasped in delight, and gently put it down, then hugged you.

“Oh my goodness, thank you so much! The old one I had was getting so dirty, and I can't really wash stuff like that…”

“Hehe, I’m excited to see you use it! Have fun!”

Finn: “Prismatic Pal”

“MORE SHINE! MORE!!”

“FINN THIS IS GETTING TO BE TOO MUCH-”

“THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH SHINE, I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THE SUN!!!!”

“FINN YOU’RE ALREADY TOO BRIGHT FOR ME TO LOOK AT!!”

Razzle And Dazzle: “Seafoam”

“You’re doing a lot for us, you know. (Are you sure?)”

“Yes I’m sure! Besides, if you guys are going to perform sometime, you’ll need different outfits, right?”

“She’s got a point!” “(Alright then…but at least make it something simple.)”

“Aw, okay then. How does a mix of greens sound?”

“It won't be something like yellow-green, will it? (Yuck…)”

“Nope, more like turquoise.”

“Oooh, I’m excited to see how it looks! (Sounds pretty…)”

Cosmo: “Caramel Drizzle”

“I thought that maybe because you and Sprout are friends, you guys could have matching outfits! Whaddya say?”

“Really? Oh, yes please! That’s very sweet of you to think of us…”

“It’s not much really. Here, can you turn around so I can adjust your apron?”

Cosmo patiently did as you said, waiting as you secured the warm orange bow around his back. He only turned around again under your gentle pulling motions so you could smooth out his apron.

“And…this might be a bit hot, but please bear with me. It’s caramel after all.”

You took the bottle from the stand next to you, making a quick drizzle motion so it lined perfectly on top of his head.

You poured a little sauce on your hand to dab on his cheeks, then wiped your hands off and leaned down to get the perfect angle to place the stars in, sticking your tongue out as you worked.

He didn’t tear up or hiss at how hot it is though, he seemed to let out a sigh and…melt?

…He actually looked pretty content.

“Warm…”

I guess that confirms it.

Flutter: “Vibrant Monarch”

“Be still, I’m almost done.”

Flutter nervously flapped her wings, slapping you in the face every so often and nearly knocking you out of your chair.

“Please Flutter, the paint will be blurry and won’t look good if you keep moving.”

“...!!!”

“I know you don’t like standing, but you need to right now! You can fly all you want when I’m done.”

“...!”

“Thank you.”

She lightly tapped the floor with her foot as if testing the waters, flinching every so often, before she set both feet on the ground and stood stiffly, anxiously waiting for you to finish.

Goob: “Special Spaghetti”

“I want to commit cannibalism on myself.”

“What-”

Goob: “Fun Partygoer”

“Ooooooh, I get a party hat too??”

“Yes you do Goob, let- let me- adjust it please-! Please stOp BOunCIng!“

“Sorry, I’m just so excited to see how I look!”

“I get it I get it, but pleas-!”

The party hat crumpled under a particularly high jump.

“...”

“...”

You sat down, head in your hands and started crying.

“WAIT NONONO Y/N I-!”

Glisten: “Warm Sweater”

(Based off my opinion! I love blue and white, but THE MAKEUP RAAAAA-)

“I still think the eyeshadow is a bit much.”

“Well, I don’t!”

“But you say you look good no matter what you wear, right…?”

“...Yes…”

“So you shouldn’t have a problem with no eyeshadow because it’ll look just as good!”

“But I- you-!”

“End of conversation.”

(Glisten somehow convinced you to give him back his makeup)

Gigi: “Rainy Day”

“But I don’t waaaaaannaaaaa!”

“Gigi, it’s still an oversized sweater. You’re basically just changing the color of it and adding some drawstrings, okay?”

“Noooooooooo…but…b-but…”

“Yeah I know what a butt is, you have one yourself. Now give me that―”

You yanked the sweater out of her hands, cutting yourself off as you stumbled back, “―Thank you!”

Quickly checking for rips and finding nothing, you let out a sigh of relief, then immediately raised your hand in the air to avoid her grabbing ones.

“Nooooooo, gimme it back!”

You sighed again, walking over to the dresser―well, as best you could with a whiny Gigi trying to trip you― and pulled out a yellow sweater with a hood.

Placing her old clothes on a high shelf so she couldn’t reach it, you turned and picked her up, setting her down to sit on the edge of the dresser and pulled the yellow sweater over her head.

Her crying instantly stopped and she snuggled down into it, content. You let out another(she’s a handful to deal with) sigh and sat down next to her, petting her head.

Sprout: “Salted Caramel”

“And you’re sure that you’ll be fine?”

“Yes, Y/n! Now just do it!”

You hesitantly poured the bucket of caramel on him, covering half of his face bit by bit while also making sure not to get the petals wet.

You let out a sigh of relief as the last drop dripped from the container, making a quiet plip sound as it joined the rest of the warm sauce.

The rest of it settled on the tarp below, collecting in a puddle that stained his feet orange. You’d have to clean him later.

He reached up a hand, messing with the caramel on his face before you slapped his hand away.

“No! I’ll have to put a new coating on you if you mess with it.”

He simply chuckled in response, “Not like I’d mind.”

Vee: “Cosmic Signal”

You sighed in relief as you checked over her mic, making sure there weren’t any scratches.

“Okay…finally done. Oof, that took a lot out of me.”

“I can tell. Making 25 different costumes that actually look good isn’t exactly an easy job.”

You perked up upon hearing this.

“So you DO like Scraps' costume!”

“What!? I-”

“I’m joking, I already know.”

She just glared at you and looked to the side.

[yanderedrabbles]

hey,

you've probably answered this before and I just haven't seen or read it yet. But, why do you hate pregnancies and babies so much? lol i love ur stories and u dont need to answer this, but im curious and wanted a more specified answer

seriously long rant under the line:

I'll be the first to admit it, I'm not a maternal person. I don't like kids. They're loud, they're sticky, they're overwhelming. I don't know how to talk to them without feeling idiotic and fake. I just... stay away from them as much as I can. Little cousins? Nieces and nephews? They probably know me as the relative who'll offer them some sweets and then dissappear.

Babies are especially bad. I don't really find them cute or endearing. Whenever I'm around one, I'm always terrified of messing up somehow and hurting them. Even if I'm like all the way across the room. I have such an admiration for parents but I know myself and I know I absolutely can't handle a baby.

I'm a person who gets overwhelmed and angry pretty easily. I try really hard to work on it, but that's not the sort of personality that goes well with kids. What am I, a deadbeat dad that makes people flinch with every sudden move? No thank you.

Pregnancy has always been particularly disturbing to me. Whenever I think of myself in that role, I feel this kind of visceral disgust. It feels parasitic. It feels like a leech in my body. It makes me want to claw at my stomach and get it out.

And don't take this as me hating on kids and pregnancy in other people. It's just when I apply it to myself, I can't help the way I feel. It's instinctive. And it's been this way my whole life.

I think as a society we think of marriage and kids as the default, the expected path. Whenever I tell people I'm never doing either, I'm always met with the "You'll change your mind someday!" I won't, I promise you.

I take issue with it. I feel like we should consider things a lot more before starting a family. A child is such a huge commitment, a life you'll be responsible for in every way. I feel like I see a lot of patents who might have been happier without kids.

I don't ever want to be like that. I don't ever want a kid to feel for a second that I regret them. I'd rather just not have one at all.

Anyway, some people just don't want that kind of life. I'm one of them. I've never once felt the urge or ever had the fantasy about a family, about being a mother. I have other goals for myself, another path to take.

I have the utmost respect for parents. Like I said, it's a terrifying, exhausting job. And one I'm never going to do.