#i'll just live with my mum forever

[omgitsbeewave]

i haven't listen my scaridarity playlist for a while and i feel my heart crying bc OH MY GOD I LOVE MY DUM GUYS SO MUCH I MISS THEM 😭😭😭

[yawnderu]

Simon lets out a deep chuckle as he sees your daughter pick flowers from the light, clean grass, her tiny hands barely even managing to gather enough strength to get the stems out of the ground.

“C'mon, that's enough.” His voice is patient, calloused hands picking his daughter up as he brings her up to his chest, a small smile when he sees her holding onto the flowers for dear life, giggles leaving her lips as he starts bouncing her while they walk.

It became a routine, in a way, for Simon to bring his daughter whenever he visits his family. She's too young to understand, so pure, so untainted from the dangers of the world, always kept safe by Simon and you, yet he can't fight off the urge to make his family see her.

He walks for a few minutes, enjoying the chilly air while his daughter cuddles up to him, one of her tiny hands gripping his jacket, while the other one is still holding onto the flowers. He stops in front of a set of four graves, the familiar pit of dread setting deep within him starts to come out, shaky hands managing to gently put the little girl down on the cold ceramic.

Mrs. Riley.

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

Simon was hiding his hurt quite well, managing to sit down next to his little girl, one hand on her back as she started crawling around, finally setting the flowers down.

“Mum?” His voice is quiet, almost cracking, as if he was the scared little boy his mother defended with her life. His daughter looks up at him with curious brown eyes, sitting down and entertaining herself with her own onesie.

“I remember telling you I'd never settle down because I could never get as lucky as Tommy and Beth...” He dragged out, gaze going down to the ring on his finger, the physical representation of your union.

“You've met my wife before, and now I want you to see my kid too.” He's barely managing to speak, words coming out rough and choked up as his hand caresses his daughter's thin hair, making him pause just to examine her features. She's a tiny carbon copy of him, a lovely nose and a set of brown eyes that will never see the horrors he lived.

“She's a proper daddy's girl, but you would've loved each other.” He's sure of it. His mum was always so lovely, so nurturing. A true angel on earth with way too much forgiveness and patience for her own good.

He picks his daughter up, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. Simon thought he cried all his tears when he was a little boy, yet his nose is starting to sting, vision getting blurry for a few seconds until a choked sob manages to escape his lips. He's quick to wipe any tears away, simply trying to focus on the peace and quiet the cemetery offers, his hand running up and down his daughter's back, patting it softly just to hear that little giggle that seems to always repair his broken soul.

“All of you would've loved her, shy little thing she is.” He sniffles again before a quiet laugh leaves his lips, smiling despite the way his eyes are still filled with tears threatening to spill at any moment.

“I'm quittin' the SAS soon, don't want her to grow up without a father. The wife's happy about it, too.” Simon lets out a small sigh, looking down at the graves of his family, all buried next to each other. He shakes his head softly, his free hand quickly wiping off his tears before he goes back to holding his daughter, rocking her with care.

“I'll come back with her next time, jus' wanted to talk to you today. Let you meet this lovely girl.” Big brown eyes meet his gaze, instantly cheering him up despite everything. He pinches his cheek softly only for the little girl to smack his hand away with a giggle, only making his smile grow wider at how hot-heated she is. Just like her mother.

[hedgehog-moss]

The lower rung of the ladder in my kitchen broke last month and I stuck a little Post-it note on the wall to remind myself to step over the missing rung so I wouldn't break my leg every time I go up or downstairs—but then my mum came to visit and she saw me hopping over the gap in the ladder with practised ease and her face was the definition of "you live like this?" And she went to get a screwdriver to unscrew the ladder from the wall so we could carry it outside and repair it.

Some people see a broken ladder and immediately open a toolbox to fix the problem; some people see a broken ladder and stick a Post-it note to the wall to train themselves to step over the problem forever. (I admit my response is inferior.)

I think I felt daunted at the thought of tinkering with this ladder because it's been here in the same place for over a century and I pictured the whole thing crumbling into dust if we tried to move it—but no, it's still solid, except the lower rung. Which wasn't damaged by time, but by Pandolf. (And some insects. But mostly Pandolf.)

When he was a baby, for a week or so after I took him home, he was extremely upset about having to spend the night in his dog bed in the kitchen while I went upstairs to my bedroom, he would cry and cry and one night in a fit of despair and rage he attacked the ladder. The next morning I found the lower rung (the only one he could reach) looking like it had been attacked by a termite colony, but it was Pandolf's pointy little puppy teeth. By the look of it he'd spent half the night furiously gnawing on it until he dropped from exhaustion—his reasoning was clearly that if he destroyed the ladder, I wouldn't be able to go upstairs anymore and would be forced to spend the night on the floor of the kitchen with him.

It's really hard to be mad at baby Pandolf, though. Go on, try.

Eventually he got used to sleeping in his dog bed and he abandoned his ladder destruction project, but the lower rung has been fragile ever since, and it finally broke last month.

My mum is extremely efficient; she sent me to the barn to find some kind of thick board (you can find anything in the barn if you have a torch and aren't afraid of bats or century-old spiderwebs) and when I came back she had prepared all the tools and taken all the measurements.

The worst part was tapering the sides so the rung would fit in the notches, because if one side was a little bit thinner than the other then it was wobbly—

—plus I used a file at first and it took forever (Pandolf was so bored), but then I remembered I own a sanding machine and it went a lot faster. So much so that my mum said I should make a second rung while I was at it—she was motivated to replace all of them, but then it started raining and we decided the rest of the ladder is solid enough and we'll replace the rungs two at a time.

I always forget that it feels satisfying to fix things! There's this little spark of pride from then on when you look at the repaired thing because you helped make it. I tend to procrastinate because I assume it'll take ages or I'm worried I'll do it wrong, until someone who's more confident with their hands than me goes like "no come on, we just need a saw, a file, a hammer, it'll take an hour tops" and we do it and it's never as difficult as I feared. (My mum: "We gave you a toy toolbox when you were little, to smash sexist stereotypes, and you're afraid of fixing things :( ...") (I cheered her up by reminding her that my brother smashes sexist stereotypes by being also afraid of fixing things.)

But yeah I spent half an hour sanding down the sides of these two lower rungs and now I look at my ladder and remember the delightful feeling of getting the tapering just right and inserting them into their slots effortlessly like a VHS tape into a VCR. I have a whole new affection for my kitchen ladder now.

[love-belle]

i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the songs she wrote haunt him while he's trying to move on.

or

for when you thought that it'd be forever. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lewis hamilton x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - im so SORRY!!!!!! i genuinely have no inspiration to write atm but i still wrote this bc i felt so guilty :// i hope u like this, i love you thank u sm for sticking around <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, danielricciardo and 3,628,344 others

yourusername my ep "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" is finally hereeee!!!!!!! i wrote one half of it on the floor of my closet and the other half in my gf's (carmenmmundt) bedroom so this obviously holds a lot of meaning to me :) i hope all of u are able to heal a part of yourself while listening to this just like how i was able to heal myself while writing and recording this <3 i love u and im so proud of u in case no one told u this today, thank u so much for supporting me, i'll forever be in love with u all

18,528 comments

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landonorris nice album 👍

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-> landonorris UNPROVOKED

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-> username right like i would litch never show my face again

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username all this time we were hoping for a lewis x y/n collab but instead we got a break up and endless PAIN

-> username no bc we got "i'll smile and you'll have to face it" (feat. lewis hamilton getting ripped to shreds)

carmenmmundt so proud 🩷

-> yourusername ILOVEYOUSOMUCH

username NO ONE TALK TO ME IM CRYING OVER TWO WEEKS AGO

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lilymhe tears are falling down LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEE IT

-> yourusername i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE YOU

username CAUSE U BROKE MY HEART AND MY SELF ESTEEM FOR A GIRL WHO'S A REMIX OF ME

-> username when i tell u my jaw DROPPED

username she did NOT hold back

-> username committed several felonies one by one

-> username no bc "now you're living the goddamn dream have a golden star this one's for free" had me SHOOK

username "nobody actually happy and healthy has ever felt so desperate to prove it" called me out SO BAD

username i bet lewis didn't last one (1) verse without bursting into tears

charles_leclerc 1/10. the singer called my pasta "dog shit".

-> yourusername it's a miracle i survived that

-> charles_leclerc ALEX LOVED IT

-> yourusername U LITERALLY TOLD HER UR RELATIONSHIP DEPENDED ON IT

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username "the love we had was eating me whole i had to send it home" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username yoko broke me half bc WHAT DO U MEAN he misunderstood her 😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 2,628,148 others

lewishamilton better than i was two weeks ago

16,689 comments

username SCREECHING WHAT THD FUCK

username nah im like wtf

username WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN TJE LAST SLIDE???? LEWIS????

username nah the audacity of men sometimes

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landonorris GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-> landonorris sorry oscar took my phone but the sentiment stands the same

-> lewishamilton lando?

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username the way i know he cried while hitting post

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username lewis it's okay to cry after losing mom 🗣️🥶😭🙏 we're suffering too 💯‼️🔥💔

username so no one's gonna mention that one interview?????

-> username please i SCREAMED like what do u mean he dissed her on live tv

-> username "yeah i mean you can either be mature about some things or go about it the childish way and i guess she's chosen her way so yeah"

-> username for me it's the way charles and lando both looked at him like they knew my guy was talking out of his ass 😭

username when he announced that he was dating y/n and the caption was "better than i was before" but WITH her and now it's when they've broken up and he's WITHOUT her

-> username WHY WHY WHY WH YWHY WOULD U BRING THIS UP

username slowly going insane over the fact that we're never gonna get a dog mom y/n feature on roscoe's acc ever again

maxverstappen1 not really, no. we can hear you listening to apologise by one republic.

-> lewishamilton we're not even in the same hotel?

-> username NOT APOLOGISE BY ONE REPUBLIC

-> username oh so he's DESTROYED destroyed

username nah bc if the rumours are true i will go straight for manslaughter bc wtf

-> username GIRL WHAT RUMOURS

-> username AJSJSISIKWISISJJS so basically some people were saying that y/n and lewis broke up bc lewis was finding it hard to be in a long distance relationship and they weren't seeing each other much and also he was (APPARENTLY) saying that he's js not at a point where he WANTS to be in a relationship but just 3 weeks after their break up he was seen with a girl and they're allegedly dating idk

-> usernme NAH WHAT THR CHCK

-> username how's he gonna say he doesn't wanna be in a relationship but turn around and date someone else like BRO

-> usernme lewis didn't cheat but he's still a traitor 😔💔

-> username "got the news just last month that i'm exhausting and you're not in love" makes so much sense now wtf

georgerussell63 pick up my phone??? what is this behaviour lewis???

-> lewishamilton you've done nothing except yell at me

-> georgerussell63 IT'S SO JUSTIFIED PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE

-> username russell george i am shook

-> username omg he's madddddd

username the entire grid is gonna jump lewis bc of this no one can convince me otherwise

-> username sebastian probably yelled at him over phone

-> username toto is delaying contract renewal bc of this

-> usernme george is gonna make him kiss the barriers bc carmen asked him to

-> username mick is definitely giving him the silent treatment

-> username roscoe barked at him

mercedesamgf1 lewis, come back to the garage, we're calm. - toto wolff

-> lewishamilton make max, charles, carlos, lando, oscar, fernando and daniel leave and then i will.

-> mercedesamgf1 they're not gonna jump you, lewis. - toto wolff

-> maxverstappen1 yes we will

-> charles_leclerc yes we will

-> carlossainz55 yes we will

-> landonorris yes we will

-> oscarpiastri yes we will

-> danielricciardo yes we will

-> fernandoalo_official yes we will

-> mercedesamgf1 yes they will. - toto wolff

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 3,186,419 others

yourusername i wake up and it's october, the loss is yours

comments on this post have been limited

username AHHHDJEJDIEJEKSKSK

username nobody speak to me they finally unfollowed each other

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charles_leclerc it's november what are you doing

-> yourusername it's the formation lap what are you doing

-> charles_leclerc STOP I'M TRYING TO GET OVER THAT

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username IM SCREAMING THEY UNFOLLOWED EACH OTHER

-> username no bc why am i so destroyed over two exes unfollowing each other

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roscoelovescoco not cools mum's

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-> yourusername MY LOVE I LOVEEEEE YOU

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[russellsppttemplates]

I know it’s very early but dad!Lando with a baby girl 🥺

Note: think of this as a sneak peak 🤭 also, this is my first Lando blurb, I hope I did well!!

Tw: postpartum, breastfeeding

"Oh, what a big stretch that one was, little one", Lando cooed at your daughter as he picked her up from her bassinet. She had just woken up from her nap, meaning he would change her diaper, feed her and have some cuddles while he took care of dinner. You had been home from the hospital for eight days now, and the routine had settled in nicely. Lando wanted to be involved as much as possible so he would often be in charge of dinner while you put Matilda to sleep and he had barely let you be the one to change her diapers as he wanted you to rest as much as possible, even when you said you could do it sitting down with a protective matt on the bed.

"You're going to be all clean, let daddy just wipe around here an- oh", he stopped his ministrations. As he wiped the skin on her lower belly, the remnants of her cord falling and sticking to the wipe, "well, that's happened now, so let's get you dressed so we can tell mummy the news. How does that sound?", he said as he grabbed a new diaper, holding her legs gently as he fastened it and put her pants back on.

"Do you think mummy's awake? You did keep us up a bit last night, but let's see. Look, she's awake", Lando said as he walked in the living room, seeing you fold some laundry, "mummy has found the basket I forgot to take to the office so she wouldn't see it", your husband blushed as you shook your head, "I can do this perfectly fine, love", you showed him, exaggerating your movements and folding techniques.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?", you asked as he sat next to you, helping you push the laundry basket to the side so you could feed your daughter, "Matilda's cord fell when I was changing her diaper", Lando said as you pouted, "That's a big milestone, baby girl! And it also means you get to have your first bath, I bet your bum will be thankful, too", you giggled at your little girl.

"The skin is a bit stained yellow, yes. We could do that tonight while dinner cooks. I can take one of mum's casseroles out of the freezer because I honestly don't feel like cooking from scratch today", he admitted, kissing your naked shoulder and looking down at your daughter, happily suckling on your nipple.

When she woke up again and Lando had just turned on the oven, you made your way upstairs to the ensuite, Lando making a stop in the nursery to grab a change of clothes for Matilda and her bath products, "sitting is fine, but kneeling down will be harder for me", you said as you cuddled your daughter's naked body against your chest, covering her with a towell for the time being.

"Why don't you get in with her, hm?", your husband whispered, looking for any sign of uneasiness and finding only comfort and acceptance as he pulled your pants down along with the disposable underwear, kissing your thighs sweetly before coming back up and helping you undo your shirt, making sure Matilda was secure as he stripped your torso of your clothing, "here, I'll hold her so you can get in", he nudged, holding the baby as you stepped inside the tub.

Once you were comfortable, he placed Matilda back against your chest, the baby cursing up against your skin, "it's okay, my love", you kissed the top of her head as Lando checked the water temperature, filling the tub enough for you to not feel cold either and grabbing the small bowl and flannel cloth so he could wet it and run it on your daughter's back, gently extending it to her limbs and her tummy, "do you like that, baby girl? It's warm and nice, smells good, too", he cooed, seeing her react to his voice as she looked around for him.

Placing the warm flannel cloth, Lando muttered "I'll be back in a second" before he got up and you could hear him looking for something in the bedroom, coming back to the bathroom with his camera, "I want to have this memory saved forever", he smiled, turning on the camera as he captured the moment.

Even though you were naked after having given birth to your baby just a few days before, you never felt more comfortable as Lando snapped pictures, kissing your cheek and Matilda's head as he found the angles he wanted.

"C'mon, little one", he said as he set the camera by the sink, "let's get you dressed", opening her towell and wrapping it around her, her embroidered name on the hood making her look deliciously cute as he set her on your shared bed, coming back to the bathroom to help you out too, "gorgeous, mummy, breathtakingly gorgeous", he complimented, kissing your lips before you out on your robe, walking to the bedroom.

Lando dried her body, putting on her diaper as you rubbed the lotion on her skin, kissing each of her fingers and smiling at your husband's attentiveness to her. Seeing the love of your life tending to your daughter was a sight to behold indeed.

"Don't you and mummy look cute in your pyjamas, Matilda?", he said as you buttoned your shirt, noticing the unintentionally matching clothes, the striped material on your shirt matching the giraffe on Matilda's bodysuit, "yes, you do! Yes, you do! C'mon, daddy gets to have cuddles with you while me and mummy have dinner", he cooed, grabbing the sling and walking downstairs with you, ready for another night in with his favourite girls.

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

[sunsetkerr]

TELLING THE TEAM | s.kerr the sweet nora universe, masterlist

summary: you and sam decide that it's finally time to tell the girls about your big news.

pairing: mum!sam kerr x fem!reader

notes: love love love this one

august 2019, 3 months pregnant

"Y/N, HAVE YOU SEEN my boots?!"

you tried to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at sam before calling back to her, "which ones?".

"my mercurials!"

"which ones?!" you yelled back, knowing she had over five pairs of mercurials.

"the pink ones!" you held back a groan, knowing exactly where she had left them.

"they're under the bench!"

"where?!" sam's footsteps grew closer as she began to stomp down the stairs of your brisbane apartment. sam came into the living room, watching as you rounded around the kitchen counter, kicking out her black mesh training bag.

"they're still here, in yesterday's training bag" you kicked the bag over to her. sam had a bad habit of leaving her things laying around and then forgetting where everything was. you had a good habit of finding them all for her.

"i was looking for that" sam raised her eyebrows as she picked up the bag.

"mhm" you hummed, going back into the kitchen to finish getting breakfast.

"you're the best" sam stopped you in your tracks, snaking her arms around your waist. she rested her hands on your tiny bump that had began to form. "how are you feeling?" she asked, kissing you on the cheek before leaning her chin on your shoulder.

"better," you nodded. "tired still" a sigh escaped your lips, recalling your sleepless night. were you too hot? too cold? you couldn't decide. sam just so happened to sleep through the entire ordeal. 

"we'll have an early night," she drew circles on your bump with her thumb, giving you another kiss. "i'll be home around two?" she looked to you for confirmation that the times worked for you. if, in a hypothetical world, they didn't; you knew she would be home whenever you needed her. 

"okay," you nodded, leaning back into her embrace. "have fun, good luck" you whispered, turning your head to kiss her cheek before she left for practice. 

"oh babe," sam pulled back a little so she could see you properly. "i think.." she lead, "i think i wanna tell the girls".

you blinked a few times, processing what she had said. "really?" you asked her, your eyebrows raised. 

"yeah," sam looked down at your belly, drinking in your new glow. "can't hide her forever" she smirked softly before meeting your gaze again. 

"when do you wanna tell them?" you asked, still a little taken back that 'mrs. lets keep it to ourselves for a bit longer' wanted to tell her teammates. 

"today?" she shrugged, "did you wanna come to prac? i'll set you up in the shade" sam suggested.

you shook your head straight away, "i dont wanna barge in on practice, sam" you told her.

"you're not!" she argued, "they love you".

"i don't want to annoy anyone" you gently pulled yourself from her grasp and went to walk back into the kitchen.

"i want you to be there when we tell them" sam followed you, propping herself up on the counter that you needed to get into. she forced you to look at her, stopping you from getting a bowl for breakfast. "please?" she leant forwards and grabbed your hands in hers, engulfing them in a tight grasp.

you sighed, closing your eyes. "fine" you huffed, "now move" you waved her away, you were verging on hangry.

"thank you" sam smiled, pushing herself off of the counter. she grabbed your hand and pulled you along and away from your cupboard, away from your cereal. "come on, i'm late" she scooped your bag and her training bag off of the bench and hiked her duffle bag on her shoulder, leading you to the front door. 

"my cereal!" you whined.

"shh" she kissed your cheek a few times, quieting you down. "i'll get you breakfast on the way. i'm running late" she chuckled, locking the door behind you both.

"you.. late? really?" you looked back at her as she rushed you towards the car. "no!" you exclaimed, a faux look of shock on your face as you got into the passenger seat of sam's car.

"shut up" she deadpanned before closing your door on you.

the drive wasn't too far, brisbane traffic was kind to you this morning. as you pulled into the car park you saw alanna getting out of her car as well. sam called out to her as she pulled her duffle bag from the back seat.

alanna turned around and you were met with a big grin as she realised that sam had you in tow. "what are you doing here, missy?" she grinned, pulling you in for a hug. you tried to keep your belly off of her as much as possible without being too obvious, not needing your tiny bump to press against her and give it away.

"i'm in my rookie season" you chuckled.

"oh yeah, course" alanna laughed as if it was obvious. "silly me," she scoffed.

"sam dragged me out," you walked with alanna, her arm now interlocked with yours.

"sounds like her" 

"right here" sam piped up, reminding you both of her presence. 

"we know" alanna shrugged, giving her a look with a scrunched up file and a sarcastic smile.

"i'll bench you," sam raised her eyebrows at her.

"then how will we win games?" alanna looked from her captain to you, a confused look painted her face. you let sam and alanna talk about football while you all made your ways to the change room. 

"y/n!" emily smiled as she watched you walk in with sam and alanna. she made her way over to you and pulled you in for a hug. 

"hi," you smiled, giving her a tight squeeze. "how are you?" you asked as you pulled away to look at her.

"good," she smiled, "what are you doing here?".

"i-"

"new recruit," sam cut you off, draping her arm around your shoulder, pulling you in close. emily chuckled and spoke with you about how you had been. it was only a few minutes before ante came into the room.

"alright girls," he clapped his hands as he walked into the change rooms, grabbing everyone's attention. "hi y/n," he quickly shot you a smile as he walked into the centre of the room. "we've got some new drills we want to run today for the midfield, and then i want to run a strategy session" he explained, the coaching staff trailing in behind him. "y/n, you can help me yell at them if they run too slow" he pointed over at you with a small smile on his lips.

"perfect," you nodded, arms crossed over your chest.

"she's good at yelling at me" sam looked at you, a few of the girls laughing at her comment.

"oh, whatever" you rolled your eyes, shaking her off with a smile.

"alright, let's get out there" ante held his thumbs up before heading out, "sunscreen on! it's hot" he called out.

"c'mon, i'll find you a spot" sam put you back under her arm, now a little bit taller with her boots on. "we'll tell 'em after" she whispered in your ear. you all made your way out onto the field and you silently thanked yourself for wearing sneakers this morning so you didn't ruin the turf.

"how are you, y/n?" ante asked as you and sam made your way out.

"good, ante. how are you?" you smiled at him as sam walked off with caitlin. 

"great," he grinned, "joining us today for prac, hey?"

"i've been dragged out, yes" you nodded, chuckling softly.

"it's always good to have you around," he gave you a light pat on the back before heading off to speak with some of the coaching staff.

"y/n!" sam waved you over to the player's bench. you walked over and met her where she had set up a spot for you. "have you got your water?" she asked.

"yep" you nodded, grabbing it from your bag.

"here," sam crouched down in front of you and opened the bottle of sunscreen that the team would use today. "put this on, then i'll take it over to the girls" she told you, squeezing some out into your hand.

"sam-" you went to argue.

"i'm literally not kidding" she looked up at you, not a glint of a joke in her gaze. you rolled your eyes before rubbing in into your face and neck. "ears!" she reminded you grumpily. you chuckled, shaking your head at her. "don't shake your head at me" she gave your leg a little shove. 

"happy?" you asked her, your face oily from the sunscreen.

"very," she stood up, giving your thigh a squeeze beforehand. "i'll see you after, try not to stare at me too much" she playfully tapped your knee with the sunscreen before walking off to meet the girls.

"mm, i'll try" you chuckled, "have fun".

"love you" she called out to you. "sunscreen?! does anyone want some sunscreen?" she shouted as she met up with the girls.

"skip!" katrina called out. sam walked over to her, reaching out to pass her the bottle. "c'mere" kat waved her away from the others, isolating themselves from the bigger group.

"what?" sam lowered her voice.

sam watched as katrina struggled with her internal voice for a moment. "did you.." she sighed, trying to phrase what she wanted to say the right way. "is-" she cut herself off again, before committing to her words. "is y/n pregnant?"

sam's jaw dropped, and she looked around to see if anyone heard what katrina had said. "wha-" she looked back at katrina, "shh.. how did you know?"

she crossed her arms over her chest, and looked up at her young captain with raised eyebrows. "the last time you brought her to training, you told us you were engaged" she reminded you. sam nodded slowly, realising that he had been right.

sam bit her lip before admitting the truth to her teammate. “she's only a month or so along" she whispered, hoping no one was taking notice of their meeting.

"sam! that's amazing" katrina tried her best to contain her excitement. "congratulations! awe i wanna hug you," she knew how important this was to you both. having been the first person to be told that you were going through rounds of ivf, mini had been waiting for this day to come. "i'll keep it on the down-low" she promised.

"thanks min," sam whispered, letting a smile break through finally. she often had moments like this. where it actually hit her.. she was going to have a baby with you.

"i'm so happy for you" kat whispered again.

"sam, katrina!" ante called out, "eyes up!"

training flew by for sam and the girls. not so much for you, who had been sitting in the hot sun. the cool breeze that would come past every few minutes and your water bottle were your only relief. 

"shit, it's hot" caitlin sighed, grabbing her water bottle from the cart. the girls began to gather around the bottle-carts, getting a drink after their drills. 

"i'm dying here" macca agreed, taking off her keeping gloves.

"bring it in girls!" sam clapped. she gathered the girls over by the playing bench where you were sitting, granting them all a moment of solace in the shade. "obviously, i know it's going to be a busy few months. we've got a world cup to go win, i know lots of you have commitments to other clubs too, so i just want to tell you that if you are struggling, make sure you come have a chat with me or with ante. i don't want anyone to feel like they can't come forward if they're not one-hundred percent, okay?"

the girls nodded as sam spoke, listening to what their captain was saying to them. "especially because next year i'll be a little preoccupied so i want you to talk to me now as much as you can" 

a few heads shot up. confused looked were shared between the girls.

but it was alanna that spoke up, "what?".

"because when y/n has the baby next january i might be a little busy" sam nodded, a smile breaking through her neutral exterior. 

"oh my god!" 

"are you fucking kidding?"

you and sam watched as the girls let the news set in. ellie had already ran over to you and engulfed you in a tight embrace. "holy shit! y/n!" she grinned, holding you tight. you laughed at her as other girls came over to say congratulations to you.

"thanks girls" you chuckled, leaning your head on ellie who still had a strong hold you on.

"i knew she wouldn't drag you out for nothing!" lydia smiled, giving sam a little shove.

"she didn't even wanna come!" sam yelled, throwing you under the bus.

"y/n! that’s low" clare held her hands up in the air, looking over at you now.

"she's a liar," you smirked, meeting clare's gaze.

"i can't believe it!" tameka brought sam in for a hug. "congrats guys" she looked back over to you afterwards.

"we're gonna have a baby!" alanna cheered, clapping her hands as mackenzie hugged her.

"i'm gonna be an aunty!" macca exclaimed.

"the kid's gonna have like twenty aunties" sam laughed, earning a few chuckles from the others.

"we’ll, i'll be her favourite so i don't mind" alanna shrugged, earning a glare from mackenzie.

as you looked around you realised how lucky your baby would be, because sam was right; they had twenty plus aunties ready to love them as soon as they was here.

[lixzey]

Monster Among Men

wc: 3.4k

September 1, 1977

It was a well-known fact that Y/n Potter and Regulus Black despised each other. The two had been at each other's throats since the day they met on the Hogwarts Express. Y/n and Regulus were like fire and ice. They were polar opposites and hated each other with every fiber of their being.

Their rivalry began with petty insults and minor jinxes, but over time it grew into a deep-seated hatred for each other. They were competitive in everything they did, from Academic success to Quidditch, and their constant feuding had become notorious among the rest of the student body. No matter how much the two of them attempted to avoid one another, somehow their paths always ended up crossing with one another and it would usually end up with Y/N screaming and prefects pulling the two away from each other before anyone got hurt—meaning, the bystanders who often got hit by stray hexes and jinxes. That being said, everyone knew better than to be in the way when Y/n Potter and Regulus Black were both in the same room. 

Platform nine and three quarters was bustling with students as it was every first of September. As a sixth year student, Y/n should've been used to it by now. But every time her eyes met with the scarlet steam engine train, she felt like a little first year, eager to learn magic on her own. Like every other student on the platform, her parents were fussing over her, making sure that she had everything that she needed for the whole term. 

“Yes, Mum. I have everything in my trunk, and yes I'll keep out of trouble. Honestly Mum, you should reserve this speech for Jamie. He's head boy, he can get away with everything now.” Y/n chuckled as her mother ruffled her hair. 

“Well, can I at least expect you to keep your brothers in line?” Euphemia asked her daughter, casting a look at James and Sirius—who is now an honorary Potter since Christmas of 1976.

“You know Jamie and Sirius, Mum. They're bloody menaces.” 

“Language, young lady.” Fleamont chuckled, “But, you're right. Just….make sure they won't do anything reckless?” 

“I'll try, Dad. But I'm not liable for anything.” Y/n giggled as she hugged her mother. 

“James! Sirius!” Euphemia called for her sons, “Take care of your sister, alright? It's your final year with her.” 

“Of course, Mum! I'll keep an eye out for tiny Potter.” Sirius chuckled as he put his arm around Y/n, earning a glare from the petite witch. 

“Yeah, we'll make sure no one messes with my baby sister. Any boy who'll ask her out will go through us.” James grinned at his little sister, who rolled her eyes at him. 

“Honestly, Jamie.” Y/n shook her head. 

“No boyfriends until you're thirty, baby sis.” James smirked. 

“James, let your sister have some fun.” Euphemia chuckled as tried to flatten James' hair, which didn't make any difference. 

“I agree with James. No boyfriends for you until you're thirty years old, my little angel.” Fleamont hugged his daughter tightly. 

“Let the girl live, Monty. She won't be a little girl forever.” Euphemia glared at her husband, “You too, James, Sirius.” 

“Fine.” All three men huffed, earning a giggle from both women. 

“Go on, my darlings. Get on the train,” Euphema chuckled, wrapping her arm around her husband's waist,  “be sure to write!” 

The Potter siblings along with Sirius stepped onto the train, waving at their parents as the train departed. The trio then walked to their compartment, which the Marauders claimed at the end of their second year. 

“Hey Moony.” Y/n smiled as she entered the compartment, “Where's Pete?“

“Not sure,” Remus shrugged, “Haven't seen him yet.” 

“I bet he's with that Hufflepuff bird.” Sirius said as he sat across Remus, “Wormtail's been pining after the girl for a year.” 

“Well, if he is with her, good for him. He got the girl, unlike Jamie here.” Y/n chuckled, sitting beside Remus. 

James rolled his eyes at his sister as he sat beside Sirius, “Mark my words, Evans will be mine by the end of the year.” 

“Yeah, yeah, Prongsie. You've been telling us that for the last six years.” 

“Good luck, Jamie. You're gonna need it more than ever.” Y/n giggled, patting her brother on his cheek.   

“Evans will love me, I just know it.” James sighed contentedly.

“Yuck,” Sirius playfully cringed, “You look like a lovesick puppy again.” Y/n burst out laughing, almost falling out of her seat. 

“I hate you guys.” James huffed playfully.

“You love us.” Sirius grinned cheekily. 

“You boys go ahead and talk…..boy stuff. I'm going to find Lily before the Head's meeting.” Y/n said as she got up, fixing the muggle clothes, flattening out any wrinkles, making sure she looked a bit presentable. “I'll be back in a bit.” she smiled at the boys before stepping out of the compartment. 

“Pitch in a good word about me to Evans!” James yelled from behind her. Y/n kept on walking, a smile on her lips. Her brother was hopelessly in love with the feisty redhead, Lily Evans.

Y/n walked down the long corridor of the train, scanning each compartment for her  red-headed best friend. Suddenly, the smell of sea salt, eucalyptus, sandalwood, and firewhiskey invaded her nostrils, and before she was even aware of its presence, Y/n collided with something hard. 

“You should watch where you're going, Potter.” His voice was as deep as the atlantic and emerald eyes locked into her hazel ones, as if he was staring into her soul. It was Regulus Black, the person she hated the most. Despite hating the Slytherin, Y/n couldn't help but notice changes in him. He didn't look like that boy who pushed her aside years ago. Y/n would be daft if she didn't admit that Regulus Black was drop dead gorgeous. His hair was much shorter than what she last saw, his curls framed his face better unlike the slicked back style he wore for the past five years. He looked like Sirius, though Regulus' aristocratic features were more defined—his jawline sharper than his older brother. The only thing left from the boy was his perpetual scowl. 

Y/n scoffed, snapping out of her thoughts, “You bumped into me, Black.” 

“Still not paying attention where you're going huh, Potter? Strutting around like you're some kind of goddess.” He sneered, looking her up and down.

“I do not strut, Black.” Y/n snapped. 

“Oh, but you do, my dearest Potter.” Regulus spat as he glared at the smaller witch in front of him.

“You, you, pompous, arrogant git!” 

“Ah, we're back to the petty insults?” He smirked, “Of course, it's practically tradition at this point.” 

“You insufferable prat,” Y/n spat, “get out of my bloody way.’’ 

“Gladly.” He pushed past the little witch, shoving her slightly to the side. 

Y/n let out an exasperated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. She then stormed back to the compartment, Lily would have to wait. As soon as she opened the doors, she immediately sat beside her brother, in an effort to calm herself down. 

“What's got your knickers in a twist, tiny Potter?” Sirius asked tentatively. 

Y/n shot him a dirty look before sighing, “Your fucking brother.”

“Just ignore him, Y/n.” Remus sighed, closing his book. “He's not worth it.” 

“What did he do this time?” Sirius snickered while James snorted. Y/n didn't understand they found her misery funny. Every time that Y/N complained about the younger Black, they'd find a way to make it hilarious. 

“He bumped into me, again. Told me I was strutting!” Y/n huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Reggie is a prat, tiny Potter. He's mummy's little boy, a spoiled git at best.” Sirius laughed.

“I don't care. If he crosses me again, I'm going to break his pretty little face.” 

Remus raised a brow, “Oh, so you think he's pretty?”

Y/n's eyes widened, “W-what? No! I don't think—”

Sirius smirked, “Pretty face, huh?” 

“He looks like you, Padfoot! Of course, he has a pretty face.” Y/n insisted, her cheeks flushing. 

“Oi, quit teasing my sister.” James huffed, “She doesn't fancy your brother, Pads. Y/n/n despises him, more than we hate Snivellus.” 

“Well, the blush on her cheeks says otherwise, Prongsie.” Sirius chuckled.

“I do not and will never fancy Regulus Black!” Y/n snapped, shooting a threatening glare at Sirius. 

Regulus Black was the leader of the prats, according to Y/n Potter. It was nothing new, for everyone else, seeing them bicker almost every day. There was no way in hell that Y/n would like him, she would rather drown in the black lake. He was an insufferable git for all the years that Y/n knew him and she'd rather punch him in the face. 

“Enough of that,” James stood up, offering his hand out to Y/n. “We need to get to the prefect's carriage.” Y/n's scowl turned into a bright smile. “Oh, right! I'll just go and change into my robes. Now, all of you, get out.” James and Remus chuckled, while Sirius pouted, “Oh come on, tiny Potter, grace my eyes-” James hit him on the head, “Pervert.” 

The trio stepped out of the compartment, giving the younger witch privacy. After a few minutes, Y/n stepped out wearing her Gryffindor robes with a shiny prefect badge pinned onto the left side robes. 

“Authority looks good on you, Y/n,” Sirius grinned, “You can boss me around and I'd-” 

“My sister, Padfoot!” James growled. 

“Oh please, Prongsie, can't blame me for appreciating tiny Potter's beauty.” Sirius smirked, earning him a smack on the head from a protective James Potter. 

Y/n rolled her eyes at the sight of a pouting Sirius Black, before she took hold of Remus' hand. “Take me away from the idiots, please.” she chuckled, tugging on his arm. 

Remus chuckled, “Gladly.” 

The walk to the Prefects carriage was in perfect silence—aside from the huffing from Sirius, which Y/n chose to ignore. Remus had been a Prefect since his fifth year, along with Lily Evans. Y/n had been made a prefect as replacement for Lily, who is currently taking up the post of Head Girl. Y/n was ecstatic when she received her badge, she had been dreaming of becoming a Prefect since she was a first year—much like her friend, Lily. As soon as they approached the carriage, Y/n stepped aside, allowing Remus to open the door for her.

“Such a gentleman.” Y/n chuckled as she walked in first, James following her and finally Remus. Sirius stayed back, flirting with fifth year Ravenclaws. 

Y/n looked around, scanning the faces of each appointed Prefect. There was Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom, the other two prefects from Gryffindor. Florence Bell, Amaryllis Abbott, Francis Fawley and Christopher Gideon from Hufflepuff. Emmeline Vance, Julia Boot, Gilderoy Lockhart, and Dirk Creswell from Ravenclaw. And finally her eyes landed on a certain Slytherin. Regulus Black was standing besides Severus Snape, Pandora Rosier, and Dorcas Meadowes. Regulus Black had his lips curled into a sneer as his eyes settled on her. Y/n scowled at him and walked to the furthest seat away from the younger Black, Remus trailing behind her. 

“Why the hell is Potter here?” Severus Snape sneered at James. Y/n smiled cheekily, knowing that it would rile him up. “Which one?” 

“You know what I mean, Potter.” Snape sneered.

“Oh, you didn't know?” Y/n smirked, feigning innocence. “Jamie's Head Boy.” Snape scowled, but kept his mouth shut when Lily Evans glared at him. The redhead sighed, before muttering, “This is going to be a long year.” 

“Patrols will be done as pairs. Professor McGonagall is aiming for unity between houses, meaning each pair shall be from different houses. Here is a list of the pairs,” Lily smiled, passing one parchment to a Hufflepuff prefect on the right and the other to a Ravenclaw prefect on the left, “please note that these pairings were chosen by Professor McGonagall. I had nothing to do with this, same with the Head Boy.”

“I hope I'm partnered with you, Moony.” Y/n smiled, playfully nudging the older boy beside her. “You and me both, Y/n.” Remus chuckled, ruffling her hair. 

“Here you go.’’ The fifth year Ravenclaw smiled brightly, passing the parchment to Y/n. Muttering a quick 'thank you', she grabbed the piece of parchment, scanning it for her name.

Remus Lupin and Florence Bell

Amaryllis Abbott and Gilderoy Lockhart

Dirk Cresswell and Pandora Rosier

Severus Snape and Julia Boot

Francis Fawley and Alice Fortescue

Frank Longbottom and Emmeline Vance

Christopher Gideon and Dorcas Meadowes

Regulus Black and Y/n Potter

Y/n's eyes widened, “Oh, no, no, no.” Her hands gripped the parchment in horror. Her partner was none other than Regulus Black. 

“Who'd you get partnered with, baby sis?” James asked as he approached his sister with a warm smile, wrapping his arm over her shoulder. He peeked over the parchment, eyes widening at the name beside his sister's name. A teasing grin spread across his lips, “Good luck, you're gonna need it, more than ever.” James chuckled, using his sister's words against her. 

Y/n wanted to hit her brother, but she stood frozen, her eyes glued to the parchment in her hands. She let out a shaky exhale, before her eyes darted across the room, locking with emerald green that belonged to Regulus Black. 

“Please, please, try to remember that you all are Prefects. And as Prefects, you are not only representing your own respective Houses but the whole school in general as well. Please do not abuse the authority bestowed upon you, being biased shouldn't be taken into your duties as Prefects.” Lily informed with a pleading look in her eyes as her gaze turned to the Slytherin prefects. She took a deep breath before turning back to face everyone else. “I know the previous Head Girl and Boy were a little…..nonchalant in terms of being authoritative figures, which frankly in my opinion, is utterly careless, having multiple bullying cases from last year. I fully plan on making sure each and every one of you are treated fairly, none of those biased opinions.” Lily turned to James, who was making his way towards her after clapping his sister on the back. He ran a hand through his hair, making it messier as it regularly was. He stood right beside the redhead, flashing her a grin, which Lily rolled her eyes at. “As Head Boy, Potter, do you have anything else you'd like to add?” 

“Please, just try to be civil with one another, despite who your partners are, alright? They will be your partners for the whole year, better not start on the wrong foot, yeah?” 

Lily clapped her hands, “Now that we have the patrol partners settled, please go to your respective partners. As part of the Inter-house unity, you must get to know one another.”

Y/n did not want to spend her nights for the whole year with Regulus Black. She would rather jump off the astronomy tower, than be his partner for the whole year. As everyone walked up to their respective partners, Regulus Black and Y/n Potter stood still in their places. Y/n had her arms crossed over her chest as she blatantly refused to walk up to Regulus, much to Lily's annoyance. 

“If you two don't get your stubborn arses together right now, I will body bind the both of you together.” Lily threatened with a sickening sweet voice that made Y/n wince. 

Y/n huffed, before walking towards Regulus. She stood beside him, still making sure there was enough distance between them. The two stood in silence, not bothering to look at one another. 

“Oh, for the love of God.” Lily muttered as she saw Y/n and Regulus standing back to back. “Talk!” she yelled, making Y/n jump. She rolled her eyes, before turning to face Regulus, who was smirking at her. 

“What the fuck are you smirking at?” 

“So hostile, Potter.” Regulus rolled his eyes, “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” 

“Arrogant git.” 

“Annoying bitch.” 

Y/n gasped, “You did not just call me a bitch!” 

“You started it, Potter. Don't act so offended.” Regulus smirked. Y/n scowled at him, wanting to punch the smug look on his face. 

“I hate you.” Y/n spat.

“Glad the feeling's mutual, Potter.”

After a few more reminders from Lily, the meeting finally ended—much to the pleasure of Y/n Potter. One by one, the Prefects stepped out of the room. Leaving Lily, James, Y/n, Remus, a sneering Severus Snape, and Regulus Black, of all people. 

"It's preposterous that after everything you've done over the last six years, Potter, the old codger made you, of all students, Head Boy.” 

Y/n's head immediately snapped at his direction, “You honestly thought it would be you, Snivellus?” Y/n laughed humorlessly, “Don't make us all laugh, you greasy git.” 

Snape clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing at the female Potter, stepping towards her. “No one asked you for your opinion, Potter.” Snape spat, “You're just as insufferable as your brother.”

“For your information, Snivellus, my brother deserved getting appointed as Head Boy. Have you seen him lead the Gryffindor quidditch team into victory? Oh wait,” Y/n feigned ignorance, “everyone else in Slytherin were too busy complaining about losing every single year to even see Gryffindor's talent.” Y/n spat, glaring daggers at Snape who in turn snarled at her, stepping forward into Y/n's personal space. As expected, Remus instinctively stepped beside Y/n, ready to protect the youngest Potter from Snape. Lily tried to step in, but Y/n's threatening low vice stopped her tracks, making her sigh and shake her head—though still on her guard, gripping her wand in case. 

“If you don't get out of my personal space, Snape, I will make sure you'll regret being born.” 

James, who strangely didn't come to his sister's rescue and kept calm despite what was happening, cleared his throat loudly. “If you don't mind, Snape,” James stood beside Lily, “Evans and I have work to do.”

Snape scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Drop the act, Potter.”

“I'm just doing my job and trying to get through it without causing a problem.” James insisted calmly—which was hard enough to say the least. 

Snape turned to his former best friend, “Lily, you can't possibly  think he's changed!”

The redhead rolled her eyes, before standing up straight and walking up to James. “Please excuse us, Snape. We have jobs to finish before we arrive at Hogwarts.” Lily said flatly. 

“He doesn't deserve that badge, and you know it!” Snape spat angrily.

“One more word about my brother I swear to Merlin-” 

“Or what?” Snape taunted, glaring at the little witch in front of him. 

“I'm going to shove your wand far up your arse until it comes out your abnormally large ugly nose!”

“Back down, Snape.” Regulus Black's icy tone echoed in their ears, their heads snapping towards him. Snape scowled, “You can't possibly be defending Potter.”

“I am not defending anyone, I'm doing my duty as Prefect. Evans,” he jerked his head towards the redhead witch, “has made it clear that biased opinions are not to be brought in situations like….this.”

Snape scoffed, “Potter's being a bitch! You can't-”

“I said back down, Snape!” Regulus hissed, “If you cannot be civil, take your objections to McGonagall or Dumbledore! You are acting like a child.” He growled at the older Slytherin, his green eyes flashing with annoyance. 

Lily, James, and Remus fell silent. Did Regulus Black really defend Y/n? Meanwhile, Y/n scowled at the two Slytherins—not paying attention to the door that suddenly opened. Sirius poked his head in, a grin plastered on his face. 

“Wow, the air here is thick.” Sirius eyed his friends, before his gaze fell on his brother—he scowled, before quickly looking away before anyone could notice.

“Anybody got a knife?” Sirius said cheekily, which made his friends plus Lily groan. “One can easily cut the tension with it.”

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @thebetawolfgirl @ashlynnmalfoy @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif

[zyxwl2015]

Excerpts from Lando Norris biography - part II

What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?

When I was five, I stole a sweet from the sweet shop. My parents found out and I lied and said they were given to us from school. Then my mum said she was going to ask the teacher, that’s when I knew it was all going to go wrong, so I had to own up to it.

lol 😂

Charlotte said Lando was at the MTC a LOT when he was a McLaren junior, more than Fernando, Jenson or Stoffel, because he lived nearby. When there's media commitments others don't want to do or cannot do, it's always Lando's job to do it

When Lando became an F1 driver in 2019, Jon and Mark made it clear to Charlotte that they should "in no way mollycoddle him". They actually asked Charlotte to tell them every time Lando's late or did anything wrong. On the other hand they are all very supportive of Lando when he did good, eg. getting a podium, and Lando would be very chuffed about it

But Lando was "forever trying to rebel" (😂), by not wearing the correct team gear etc, and Charlotte had to become a big sister for him. "He once asked me why I was always telling him about Carlos, and I told him to come back to me once he’d done five years in F1." Lando and Charlotte also got really close over time, "Sometimes I’d just go and sit with him in his driver’s room and chat about life."

Charlotte on Carlando (at the beginning): she said Carlos came into McLaren with a mindset of trying to establish himself, as a valuable F1 driver and as no.1 driver in the team, so he treated Lando as a little brother

Before his first GP in Australia 2019, Lando was very very nervous, "he just went very, very quiet. Like steely quiet". He texted Charlotte that he did not want to muck up, and Charlotte had to try to lower expectations for him and reassure him. He did not sleep at all the night before Sunday's race. Charlotte said he put way too much pressure on himself

The accident in Spa 2019 hit his dad Adam really hard, that "he felt very sick". Lando had to reassure his family about his safety (🥺)

Charlotte said that podium for Carlos in Brazil 2019 became a defining moment for Norris, "deep down, he wanted to be the one who had delivered that podium for the team"

(I'll move on to 2020 and 2021 tomorrow)

[miniwheat77]

Close. Pt.1 (Captain Price x Reader)

!NSFW, Smut, Age Gap, virgin reader, fingering, mentions of death, violence, alcohol, !MINORS DNI!

(Summary): Reader gets left alone with Captain Price for a few months. How long can he spend alone with her before he caves?

Part 2 here

You can't remember the last time you had felt at peace with yourself. It's not that you were unhappy or anything, just uncomfortable in your own skin.

You've just turned 18, have no real life plans, you and your dad are constantly at each other's throats. It's a shit show for now, but you know it won't be forever. Your dad is in the military and he is very stern with you. He wants everything to look perfect and sometimes you just can't manage that. Your mum had passed away and he was all you had left as none of your other family really cared too much to stay in contact with you after she had died.

Your dad was due to be coming home soon and he expected the house to be spotless when he came home, which you had scrubbed the entire thing head to toe. Even going as far to dust off ceiling fans and light fixtures.

You had mentioned a couple times to him about moving out, but he'd flipped out on you. You're sure it wasn't anything personal, more or less just him being scared to lose you too.

He took it very hard when your mum passed away. He couldn't function for some time afterward. You and him fought like crazy because he seemed to take his sadness out on you. You didn't appreciate it and were going through it just as bad as he was. When she passed away, it meant you were alone while he was deployed. You had nobody to rely on when he wasn't there. You had no one but yourself 10/12 months a year.

"Y/N, you remember Captain Price?" he says to you over the phone. Your stomach falling slightly. "Of course I do, why?"

His name alone causes your hair to stand up. He was around a lot when you were a kid, your dad had gotten stationed alongside him in Britain and brought you and your mom to live there with him for a few months. During that time, you ended up spending a good majority of time with Captain Price, considering your home life wasn't so good. From about 8-10 you were with him. You had a huge crush on Captain Price. You had only just come to terms with the fact that you and him would never be anything, and your dad comes to lay this on you.

"He's coming to stay with me on the base for a few months, he'll be staying in our guest room. Is that okay?" he asks. "oh uh.. of course. Why wouldn't it be?" you laugh the nervousness in your voice off. "I'm sure he will be grateful we're having him, but make sure the house is clean for my return please, sweet pea?"

"Course dad." he laughs into the phone. "You always sound so unamused. When did you grow up and stop being my little girl ah?" he slurs his words. You can't help but roll your eyes. You hadn't realized he'd been drinking before. "Get some sleep dad. I'll talk to you tomorrow night." You laugh, hanging up the phone. You looked around the house, it was spotless, just like he'd asked. You made your way up the large staircase. Your dad made a fair amount of money and provided you with everything you needed and more. He had a nice house, and everything. But you didn't like to take his money. You slipped your hand over the oak railing, frowning to yourself. It was so lonely here without your mum. You hated being here alone.

---

"Hey. I've some bad news." Is the first thing you hear from your dads mouth a couple days later. "What?" you ask. "My contract extended another 6 months. But John has already gotten his plane ticket and can't get it refunded. It'll be just you and him for a while. Is that okay?"

You think to yourself. Alone? In a big house? With the finest man you've ever laid eyes on?

"Of course it's okay. It's not like I haven't done it before. No reason he shouldn't be able to check the base here out." You smile into the phone. "Oh good. I'm glad you're such a good sport Y/N." Your dad chuckles over the phone. "I'll ask him to keep an eye on you, yeah?" He laughs. "Yeah right. I've been here alone for like 10 months and I've done just fine." You roll your eyes, he can't see it obviously. "I'm sorry honey. But you know how this is."

"Yeah. I know. But it'll be alright. You'll be home before you know it."

---

When that Friday came, you had to pick John up from the airport, it was the plan from the beginning as you were supposed to pick your dad up as well. You couldn't help but be a little sad that your dad wouldn't be coming home. He was really all you had left.

You don't know what you would do if you didn't have him.

You had to be awake at 5am to go get John, you weren't happy about it. But thankfully, it was a warm summer night.

You had on a t-shirt and some shorts, not really thinking about how you looked in front of John. You were a little too tired to even think straight. You waited inside the airport by where the baggage claim was. You're sitting in a chair in the small waiting area. Pretty soon, you make eye contact with him, and he looks just as good as he did when you were younger. The same facial hair, same kind of uniform. Everything.

You send a smile his way and his eyes widen. "Good god. You're a woman." He laughs, pulling you into a hug. "What?" You laugh, wrapping your arms around his waist. "The last time I seen you, you were just a little girl." He laughs, pulling away. You missed his accent. He grasps his bag. "Yeah, was a long time ago." You blush. You make your way out to your car together, it was parked right at the entrance. "It's just crazy." He stares you up and down. "Although... are you in pajamas?" he says in confusion as you pass him to walk around the car. He climbs into your passenger seat. "Uhhh. Perhaps." You smile. He makes a "tsk" sound, shaking his head. "Didn't your dad always teach you to be prepared?" You reach in front of him, opening the glovebox. Inside was a gun your dad made you carry. "Jesus. I meant.. If your car breaks down or something."

"Bold of you to assume I can't change a tire in pajamas."

"You are definitely your fathers daughter." He laughs. He hears the song on in the car, and he smiles, reaching for the dial to turn the sound up. "Your playlist?" You roll your eyes. "Always." he laughs. "Man.. 20 year old me would've killed to be with a girl like you."

What's stopping you now?

You have to shake the thoughts from your head. "Yeah, show me a picture of you at 20." You laugh. He thinks to himself. "I don't even know if I have one." you lick your lips. "Suppose they didn't have cameras in the 1800's ah?" You smirk. He narrows his eyes. "Ha Ha. You're hilarious." He rolls his eyes. You laugh. "Now I'm gonna look for one." He slides his phone out.

When you arrive at your house, he grasps his bag out of the back and you both make your way for the front door. You unlock it and hold the door open for John. "Come on, guest room is this way." You walk down the hallway. He follows you and you open up the door for him. "Goddamn, when your dad said you had a spare room I didn't think he meant in a damn mansion." He laughs. "Yeah, it's a little extreme for 2 people." You laugh. You leave him to unpack his stuff.

"I found a picture of me when I was in my 20's." He laughs. You're sitting on your couch and he's walking up behind it from the hallway. "Show me." You smirk. He holds the phone in front of your face. "Holy shit." You laugh. "What?" he laughs. "If only you weren't 20 years younger." You smirk. He freezes up. "Yeah right, I was way out of your league." He brushes off your comment. "I just wanna know what happened?" You smirk. He narrows his eyes. "I got more attractive that's what happened." He crosses his arms. "Mhmmmm."

You were really good at getting under his skin for some reason.

---

He almost couldn't take the torture. He'd been here for a week so far and was struggling.

You walking around in nothing but shorts and tank tops, back talking him with those pretty lips.

You thought for sure he didn't have any feelings for you, but you didn't realize just how close you were to cracking him. He waits for you to get back from a friends house. Sitting at a stool at the countertop in the massive kitchen. He'd gone out and bought a good bottle of scotch, and maybe he'd had little too much to drink.

When you finally come in, you step inside. Walking into the kitchen after you'd kicked your shoes off. He noticed you had a messenger bag with black fabric peeking out. He knows exactly what you were out doing.

"Kinda late ah?" He smirks, startling you. "Jesus Christ!" you hold your hand over your heart. "Why are you just sitting there like that?" you sigh. "Come sit sweetheart. You ever had scotch before?" you swallow hard. "Uh.. no. Have you met my dad?"

He's got an evil grin on his lips. "Well. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. I mean, you weren't really at a friends house were you? I can see the dress sticking out of the bag. I'm sure he wouldn't have allowed that either." He smirks. "Well. It was a waste of time anyways." You laugh. He pours a small amount into another glass, sliding it over to you. You pick it up and put your lips to the glass and he smiles, watching you try it. Your nose immediately scrunches up and you cringe. He laughs a little too hard. "Maybe scotch shouldn't have been your first drink." You laugh. "It's fine."

"Why was the party a bust hm?" He asks. "I just don't fit in. At all." You look down at the countertop. "How's that?" You smile. "Since I've been so sheltered, bounced back and fourth. I don't really know how to fit in with people my age. They all wanna get drunk and party. I just decided to leave early because spending time with you sounded like way more fun." You laugh.

"But I suppose you probably don't see it. You probably just see me as some kid." He smiles down at the countertop. "Of course I do. I was there, watching you grow for a couple years there. I'll always see you that way." He laughs. "Exactly." He could sense the annoyance in your voice. "Y/N, what's going on hm? You've been acting weird for the last couple days." He grasps your shoulder to make you look at him, he looks you in the eyes. You pause for a minute. You lean forward, making possibly the biggest mistake you'll ever make. You plant your lips right onto his, and he draws back immediately. "Woah." He pushes you back by your hips. "Y/N.. I'm sorry. I can't kiss you like that. I can't-" you stand up from the stool, "no.. I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me." You shake your head. "It's okay. I..." He stands up, brushing his hands off on his jeans. You quickly make your way for your room. Humiliated. He sighs as he sits back down at the countertop.

---

When he wakes up the next morning, he hears nothing but silence and his head pounding. He definitely had too much to drink the night before. But not enough to forget what happened. When he walks around the house, you’re nowhere to be found. Probably off to school already. He lets out a groan as his phone begins ringing. His head already throbbing.

“Hello?” He asks into the phone. “Hey John.” He hears your dads voice, his stomach falling a little.

“Hey what’s up?”

“Y/N got into a scuffle at school this morning, she’s getting dropped off by her counselor. You mind keeping an eye on her for me?”

“Yeah no problem. And.. a scuffle?”

“I guess some dumb kid was being mean to her. Hurt her wrist pretty bad.” John thinks for a second. “You make it sound like it was a boy.” He laughs.

“From what I understand it was.” John’s face falls immediately. “It’s been going on for some time now, I was gonna take care of it when I got back but.. I got an extension.”

“I might be able to talk to the school about it, if you want.” He offers. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.” He says. “It’s no problem. I’ll take good care of her, don’t you worry.”

John hears the front door open, and makes his way out from the kitchen. Your counselor is helping you inside. “What the hell happened?” He asks. John finds it a little weird that your counselor is a middle aged man, and was alone with you while you were completely inebriated. “Well..” he sighs. “A boy at her school was being a little mean. I guess they kinda got into a little bit of a tussle, he slammed her hand in her locker.”

That explains the wrap around your wrist.

“He said something about her mom, so Y/N just.. attacked him. They had to sedate her to get her to calm down. She’s coming down from it, but she’ll be alright.”

John nods his head. “Who are you? If you don’t mind me asking?” He asks John. “I’m Captain John Price. I’m looking after Y/N until her dad gets back from deployment.” Her counselor nods his head. “Well. This is going to go under investigation. I’ll be surprised if Y/N is allowed back after this.” He narrows his eyes. “That boy slammed her hand in a locker, and made a comment about her dead mother. If I were her, I’d have attacked him too.” He crosses his arms. “Yeah.. but it’s not up to me or you. It’s up to the school.”

John laughs. “Thanks for bringing her home. But if you’ll excuse us.” John says.

After saying goodbye, he leaves.

John sits on the coffee table, placing his hands on your knees. “Are you okay?”

You’re really quiet. You nod your head. You look drowsy. “Don’t lie to me.” He says sternly.

You shake your head no. He brushes hair out of your face. Watching you blink, the tiredness so apparent in your eyes. “You’ll be alright.” He flattens your hair with his hand, running it over and over again. He’s trying to calm you.

“I’m..” your voice cracks a little and your speech is slurring. “I’m sorry that I tried to kiss you.” You look up at him. He sits up from the coffee table, sitting next to you. “It’s fine, it.. was a crazy night. Let’s not worry about that though.” He pulls you into his side. You rest your head on his shoulder. “Who is this boy and why is he fucking with you?” He asks. “I don’t really know, he just started doing it one day and went with it.” Your voice slurs slightly. “Hm..”

“Everyone says he has a crush on me. That’s why he does it,” you laugh. “Yeah, that’s no excuse to do what he did.”

“And he’s really ugly.” He laughs a little harder than he should. “You’re so innocent. It’s so cute.” He smiles. Your heart aches in your chest.

So close, yet so far out of your reach. “Here. You get some sleep okay?” He covers you up with a blanket, standing up. You turn your head to the side, laying on the couch. He watches your eyes close, your body relaxing. He picks up his phone, disappearing into the other room.

—

When you wake up, you’re confused. It takes a few minutes until everything comes back to you. A yawn leaves your lips and you stand up, going up the stairs. You don’t see John anywhere around. You change your clothes into something more comfortable. You look at yourself in the mirror. The embarrassment from the night before still fresh in your brain. “Y/N?” You hear John calling for you. You quickly finish what you’re doing, going down the stairs.

“I took care of everything.” You frown, “what do you mean?” He lifts up a stack of papers. “You’re on a 2 week mandatory suspension, but I took care of the rest.” He smiles. “What did you do?”

“I just went down there, talked to your school. Seen the kid so I talked to him too. I could tell it was him because of the scratches and stuff all over his face. Has a hell of a shiner." He smiles.

“Oh god…” you cross your arms. “What did you say to him?” He laughs. “Don’t worry about it.”

You knew he probably threatened the boy to get him to back off of you. “He’s a little prick but he should leave you alone.”

He laughs. “Thank you, John. I appreciate it.” He nods his head. “It’s nothing. You feeling better?” He asks. You follow him into the kitchen, “I’m fine.” You grasp a water bottle out of the refrigerator, passing him one too. “So.. about your counselor..” he trails off. “What about him?” John shakes his head. “Just seems weird that he’s alone with you. Like that.” He pauses to take a drink out of the water bottle. “I’m alone with you.” You pull a stool out from the counter, hopping up onto it. He does the same, sitting next to you.

“Yeah but that’s different. I’m a family friend.” You laugh. “He’s just there to make sure I’m good at school.” John nods his head. “I only have like 3 more months of school left.” He nods his head. “That’s good, cause that guy gave me the creeps.”

“He probably thought the same about you.” He rolls his eyes. “I can’t be that creepy, you tried to kiss me.” He smirks. “Oh god.” You cover your face. He laughs. “Do you like me or.. was it just.. heat of the moment thing?” You look up at him. “Heat of the moment.” You lie, rolling your eyes. “For a Captain you sure are soft.” You glance at his hands, hoping he doesn’t catch it as you adjust yourself in your seat awkwardly. Even his hands had your attention. “I’m soft toward you. I’m only harsh when I need to be.” He shrugs. “So what, I’m the only person you’re soft towards? Why?”

“I don’t know.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Yes you do.”

“I just figure your dad is probably already pretty hard on you. I mean I heard some of the screaming matches you two had.” You nod your head. You laugh. “Yeah. It was pretty ugly.” He smiles. “Plus maybe I just have a soft spot for you, what’s wrong with that?” He smiles. Giving you a playful shove. No matter what, he thought of you as a kid. A little girl he watched grow. You hated it. It unsettled you to no end that he’d never see you the way you seen him. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” He asks. You shoot a smile his way. “That’s classified.” You roll your eyes. “Oh come on. Tell me, there’s gotta be a reason.” He smiles. “Okay. Why don’t you have a wife?” You ask, tilting your head and leaning back in your chair. He smiles. “I don’t like the games you’re playing.” He laughs. You bite your bottom lip. “I don’t have a wife because the one long term relationship I was in, ended pretty badly.” He says. “There, now you tell me.”

“I don’t like guys my age.” He looks confused for a minute. “What do you mean?”

“Guys my age are immature and stupid. I don’t like it.”

“So.. what? You think men in their 20’s have that figured out?”

“No.” He looks even more confused. “Men in their 30’s and 40’s might though.” His eyes widen. “I-“ he pauses for a second. “For your sake, I hope your dad never finds that information out.”

“Me too.” You laugh.

“You have to be careful, Y/N.” He looks down. “Older men.. they just wanna use you and take advantage of you.”

“I know.”

He freezes up. “How do you know that? Have you been with an older man before?” He sits up straight in his chair, a laugh spills it’s way from your mouth. “Relax, I’ve never been with anyone before.”

He relaxes. “Wait.. anyone? Like ever? You’ve never had a boyfriend?”

“I went on one date. And it did not end well.”

He laughs. “Thank god. You’re still innocent.” He smiles.

You roll your eyes. “You have no idea, Captain Price.” You smirk.

“I hope you never date anyone. Ever.” You tilt your head back with a laugh. “Why’s that?”

“Cause the thought of you with another guy. Your age, older, or not. Makes me cringe.”

“Why? I’m not your daughter.”

“Yeah, but I was there with you. I pretty much raised you for two entire years cause you wouldn’t leave my house.” He laughs. “You offered.” You scoff. “I know. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Your parents were fighting a lot, I didn’t mind having you around.” He laughs. “I guess I just have such a pure image of you in my head that I hate the thought of some dumbass guy ruining it.”

“I want a family. So.. I hate to tarnish that little pure girl in your mind but I’ll have sex, get married, and have kids at some point.” He cringes as you say it. “Hopefully not in that order.” He laughs.

“Definitely in that order.”

“Ah god I don’t wanna think about that.” He scrunches his face up in disgust. “You’re still young, you have so much time to think about that bullshit. Enjoy it while you have it.” You sit up slightly in the stool you’d sat on. “You’re gonna tell me you don’t have sex?” You laugh. “Not in a long damn time, no.”

“Exactly, that constant need you feel? You aren’t the only one who feels that.” You laugh. “Here.” He slides his cup toward you. He’d filled it with Scotch at some point. “It helps take that feeling away. Just plug your nose.” You roll your eyes, tipping it back. Flinching much less than you had the night before. “You know my dad would be pissed if he found out you were letting me drink.”

“Yeah, but you’re a secretive little thing so I’m not too worried.” You smile.

—

A few hours later, you’re sitting on the couch. He’s next to you trying to play a video game but it’s only pissing him off. You’re drunk, staring at the screen, laughing as he raged. “What the fuck is this? My teammates suck!” You roll your eyes. “Yeah? You sure it’s the teammates and not you?” You laugh.

“Ha Ha. I’m at the top of the scoreboard. And I have the best KD of everyone.” He rolls his eyes. You smirk. “I don’t like your attitude.” He sets the controller down. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” You cross your arms, challenging him. “Oh. Babygirl those are fighting words. You better quit while you’re ahead.”

“Make me.”

He stands up, “alright. But I warned you.” He smiles, an evil smile. He grasps your legs pulling you down, beginning to tickle at your sides. You squirm hard, laughter beginning to spill out of your lips. He leans down on top of you on the couch, straddling your hips to hold you down. “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry!” You cry out. “Say "I’m sorry for disobeying Captain Price!” He smirks, sliding his tongue along his teeth. “I’m sorry for disobeying Captain Price!” You cry it out as loud as you can. He draws his hands back, laughing as you came down. Your stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

Once you had stilled, his smile falters and he’s looking down at you. His eyes flashing to your lips and than back to your eyes. He swallows hard. You can see it in his eyes he’s weighing out the pros and cons of kissing you. He shakes his head, sitting up and moving away from you. “There.” He smiles. “Now watch me kick some ass.” He picks up the controller and you sit up.

What was that?

You know now, he’s thought about it.

When he loses another round, he rage quits and sets the controller down.

He leans back onto the couch, propping one foot up on the coffee table. “Earlier.” He grasps your attention. “You said you went on a date and it didn’t end well, what happened?”

You look down. “Uh.. this guy was bugging me for a while to go out with him. Like.. following me around in school, following me to my car afterward. Constantly messaging me. So I finally gave in and he just said a bunch of gross shit to me.” You laugh awkwardly. “What did he say?” You look down. “He said um.. that.. oh god,” your face heats up and he can tell you’re getting embarrassed. “He said.. stuff about my body. Like.. maybe if I ate less my thighs wouldn’t be so big because he didn’t like it.” You take a deep breath, John raising his eyebrows. “I told him I wasn’t interested in having sex or anything like that because I was a virgin. And he told me ‘if he doesn’t put it all the way in, it doesn’t count’ and.. just always said stuff about stretch marks and stuff.” John shakes his head. “I see what you mean, about boys your age. Because everything he hates? I fuckin love. Thighs?” He rolls his eyes back with a groan. “He’s an idiot and you shouldn’t listen to him.” You laugh. “I didn’t. I went on one “date” and that was it. Ignored him after that.” He smiles. “So.. you’ve.. never had sex. But. Have you ever been touched? Like at all?”

You shake your head, crimson creeping up onto your cheeks. He runs his fingers over his facial hair. “Have you ever wanted to?” He leans back into the couch, tapping on the beer bottle he had in his hand. “Of course I have.” You roll your eyes. “But.. I don’t even know how to do it myself.” You laugh. You're holding a beer bottle as well. Holding it between your thighs. “What do you mean, you don’t touch yourself?” You look down. “I.. have tried. It just.. doesn’t feel all that good I guess.”

He chews on his lip, creating an awkward silence for around a minute.

“I could show you, if you want.” He finally says it.

Your stomach falls. And you look up at him, those wide innocent eyes. And he knows he’s probably gonna regret this. You’re young and innocent and he was there when you were a kid. But again, you were 18, sexy. And you wanted him, he could tell.

“I.. I guess?” You say skeptically. You take in a sharp breath when he stands up. Is he joking? “C'mere.” He grasps your ankles, much like he had done when he was tickling you. He pulls you down onto the couch again. You set down the beer bottle and lay back. “Relax. I’ll stop if you want me to okay?”

You nod your head, staring up at him. That same sense of innocence in your eyes. He breathes out. “I shouldn’t do this, should I?” He breathes. “Probably not..” You trail off.

“I’m.. just showing you. Yeah?” You nod your head. "Nothing more." He says. "Yeah... Nothing more." you repeat, a little quieter than he had said.

You wanted him to touch you so badly you’d tell him anything he wanted to hear. He loops his fingers over the waistband of your shorts, panties too. Pulling them down your legs. He swallows hard as he finally sees all of you. “Do.. you have any toys you like to use? Or have tried?”

You shake your head. “Have.. you ever.. had anything inside of you?”

Once again, shaking your head no. “Okay. Just relax for me?” He slides his hand up onto your thigh, moving it higher. His gentle touch on your skin has your cheeks heating up, your face feels like it’s on fire. Where his skin touches your own, burns. It’s almost too much to take. All of those years yearning for his touch, his attention. And you were finally getting it. He runs his finger up your slit and a gasp leaves your lips as he rests it on your clit, drawing small circles into it. You squirm immediately, and he smiles to himself. “You’ve not done much huh? So sensitive…” he breathes out.

There was this part of him that wanted to preserve your innocence. Wanted to pull away, apologize and walk away. And than, there was a devil on his shoulder chanting for him to go further. To take your virginity and fill you completely full of his cum right where you laid, to taint every last bit of innocence left inside of you. Leave you full and wanting more.

He wanted you to taste him on your tongue every time you thought about him. His bitterness. He had an internal debate as you squirmed at his touch. So sweet. It was like dangling a piece of meat in front of a lion, you didn’t see it. Didn’t know what he was capable of doing to you. He breathes out, trying to hold back. You didn’t know any of this, because he was gentle with you. Hid all of the evil parts about himself from you, especially the one that thought about burying his face between your thighs as soon as he seen you at the airport, all grown up. He lifts your leg up, moving himself closer between them. Resting it in his lap. He lets out a deep chuckle. “Just relax for me sweetheart. You’re too tense.” His voice is deep and it’s a voice you’d never heard from him before. “Just focus on what I’m doing to you okay?” You nod your head, staring down to where he was touching you.

You’re watching, lips parted. You’re completely mesmerized and you’re holding back. He doesn’t like that you’re holding back. He starts to rub faster, drawing pants from your lips. You’re getting wet, which is what he wants. “M’gonna try something, okay?” You nod your head. He slides his finger over your entrance, gathering your wetness on it. He starts drawing circles over your entrance, and you’re confused. It feels good but it’s not anything like him rubbing at your nub. A gasp leaves your lips as he presses it into you, and he could feel you stretching around his finger. Just one finger and you were this tight. You lift your hips into his touch, your eyes screwing shut. “Does it hurt?” You shake your head. Once he feels like you’re wet enough, he tries to slowly add a second finger but a hiss leaves your lips and you move back slightly. “Sorry love..” he chuckles. “It’s.. it’s okay.”

“You’re so tight..” he breathes. His cock throbs uncomfortably against his jeans. He palms himself slightly when he knows you’re not looking. “Is.. is that bad?”

“No sweetheart. Well.. it just means. It’ll hurt more when you.. have sex for the first time.” He mumbles. “Because.. most likely. You’ll be dealing with something bigger than a couple fingers.” He pumps his finger a little faster. “Can you.. try to add another finger?” He bites his lip. Keeping his eyes from rolling back. “It’s gonna hurt.”

“That’s okay.”

He slides his finger out of you, watching you blush as he puts them in his mouth to wet them down further with his saliva. You thought he was oblivious to the fact that he’d just tasted your arousal, but he wasn’t. You tasted sweet and he loved it. He wanted more. Wanted to bury his face into you until you screamed.

He slides the first finger inside of you and once he thought you were ready, he lined the second up. You grasp the hem of your own shirt tightly, closing your eyes. He goes as slow as he can, pushing his finger into you. Your body has so much resistance and he sees you flinch as he pushes it in further and further. When he finally reaches his knuckle, the tightness around his fingers has him so on edge he could barely take it. He wants to feel you clench this tight around his cock more than he could put into words. He draws it back, pushing it back inside of you until they moved comfortably. You unintentionally spread your legs further for him, and he grits his teeth. You were so comfortable with him touching you.

“John..” a whimper falls from your lips and his stomach falls, his cock throbbing hard. He wants to get up and yell, the feeling in his chest that he has is too much to bare. The way you moan his name makes him wanna climb on top of you and fuck you until you forget his name. He breathes out. Closing his eyes, still moving his fingers into you. “I want you to do it.” He draws his hand back. You look at him. “Here.” He grasps your hand. Moving it to your soaked opening, “try one finger,” you nod your head, swallowing hard as you tried to push it into yourself. Once you did, your body relaxes. “That’s it. That’s a good girl. Just like that.” He smiles, watching the way you pumped your fingers fast into yourself. Struggling to hold back your moans. He could tell you were still desperate. His fingers were larger and he was better. So he moves your hand again, replacing your fingers with his own. Pumping them at a steady pace. Listening to the wet sounds his fingers moving inside of you made. The longer he did it, the louder you got. Moaning and whimpering his name. You looked down, beads of sweat forming in your face as you clutched the couch, trying desperately to hold still. “John-“ you gasp out. “It.. it feels weird.” You buck your hips into him, thighs clenching up tightly. “Relax, you’re getting close.” He sits up on his knees, moving himself between your legs. When he leans over you, you grasp his shirt with a death grip and he can't help but smile. “Look at me.” He leans down, holding himself up with one hand that was by your head, his other not stopping for even a second. He curls his finger up into your spongy spot, cries leaving your lips, tears streaming down your face at how overwhelmed you were because of him. He chuckles when he sees them. “So worked up..” he mumbles. He leans down, you silence yourself as you look him in the eyes, his lips only centimeters from your own. “Cum for me.” He whispers. “Give yourself to me, Y/N.” You bite your lip, he has you right on the edge.

He leans down, lips brushing against yours. He thinks about if he should do it or not, but it’s already past a simple kiss. So he leans into you, lips crushing against your own. Moving against each other in desperation and need. He pulls away when he feels your hips buck, pressing his forehead to yours, his cheek brushes against yours and he can feel your tears smearing onto his cheek. He wanted to hear that sweet cry you’re going to let out when he makes you cum.

“I- I-“ a mewl leaves your lips and you clutch onto his shirt tightly as you reach your high, eyes rolling back and clenching shut, gasps leaving your lips and your hips jerk as he rubs your sensitive nub with his thumb, pumping his fingers into you still. You squirm, grasping his hand and trying to stop him. He finally draws his hand away, webs of your wetness coat his fingers and you blush once more as he places them against his tongue, closing his lips around them and sucking them clean of your sweetness. He leans down again, pressing his lips to yours and kissing you with as much passion as he did before. When he pulls away a final time, his phone ringing brings him away from you. "Hold on." He sits up looking at it. "It's your dad, I gotta take this." He says, a little nervous as he answers the phone.

[141trash]

AN: so I know its not exactly simon x reader its all platonic, but I wasn't sure how else to tag this. Actually if you squint it could be Ghost x Soap I'll let you decide :) Sometimes my brain says things should exist so I write them. Loosely borrows the Master of Death concept from the HP series because yes. She's my OC if you want to know more just let me know I mostly just wanted to practice writing Simon idk and wanted him to be comforted :(

"Let's say I believed you," the exhausted lieutenant's voice broke the quiet hiss of sand shifting in the warm breeze. He laid staring up at the cloudless blue sky, knife held limply in one hand. His balaclava was torn off and cast aside, leaving his face exposed to the unrelenting sun.

"Mhm?" Came the sweet voice, acknowledging his words and probing gently for him to continue.

"If I believe you're the master of death or whatever," he croaked out, throat parched, "Why me? Why save me? There're billions of people who deserve to be saved over me."

Her head cocked to the side, observing him for a moment.

"Why do you believe you're not worth saving?" she asked instead of answering. Simon let out a harsh laugh interrupted by a bout of coughing and a resigned grunt of pain.

"y'just need to look at me to know that love. My mask. I'm a killer. Got my family killed. My mum, my brother." he swallowed, voice cracking as he continued, "His beautiful wife, and their little boy."

He gulped feeling the hot sting of tears and used some of his waning strength to swipe them angrily away. When she didn't say anything he turned his head in her direction. It was hard to believe that he wasn't hallucinating. Sitting next to him in the middle of the desert was a six year old in a pink tutu and a burnt tiara of some sort, perched in her golden curls. Small hands drew shapes and patterns in the scorching sand as if the temperature didn't affect her. Big innocent green eyes bore into him in a way that very much felt like she was staring into his soul.

"The skull mask was an interesting choice," She agreed dryly, "I won't disagree that you're a killer either, given your chosen profession. But you didn't get your family killed. The actions of others are not yours to take the blame for."

"Y'r surprisingly wise for a kid."

The master of death rolled her eyes and smiled, revealing a set of pearly white teeth, "Today I'm a kid."

"Sure. like tomorrow you're not goin' to be."

She gave a shrug of her shoulders, "Maybe, maybe not. It's not exactly my choice."

"Y'didn't answer my question." he coughed again, "If you're the master of death. Why me?"

"I don't make those decisions. I think death would be rather cross with me if that was the case. Everything dies at some point. It's part of the cycle. But death says I'm still ruled by my human emotions. If I had the choice, I don't think I would let people die. And then there really would be no point to life."

He laughed again and then groaned, the side where he'd been shot throbbed horribly.

"You sure you ain't just here to kill me?" Simon wheezed out, hands tightening into fists, "Because it sure feels like it."

Tenderly she reached out and smoothed one of his hands, grasping at it with her much smaller one.

"Of course not Simon." she clucked her tongue as if to scold him, "Pain means you're alive. Keep living. Find your reason to keep living. It's important. You're important."

His vision was darkening with each passing second and her voice was growing murky, like he was hearing it underwater. Gasping in panic he forced his eyes open.

"It hurts," it came out as a whimper. She smiled sadly at him, bright green eyes wet with sympathy.

"I know sweetheart, but it won't be forever."

Then she was gone. The small, but reassuring grip she'd had on his hand disappeared and the panic fully settled in. He tried to call out to her. He didn't want to be alone again. Anything, but having to face the world alone again. He wanted to beg and plead for her to return, but his mouth refused to listen.

Rough hands grabbed hold of him, jerking him back to consciousness. When he managed to get his eyes open again he saw a familiar tanned, if a little blurry, face staring back at him with worry in his eyes. Johnny. Johnny was there.

He saw the sergeant's mouth moving, but he couldn't hear. All of his senses were on fire, everything was too loud, to rough, too painful. No part of him didn't hurt.

He was alive and Johnny was here. Weakly he lifted a hand to grasp the shoulder of the Scottish man's vest.

"You're here." was all he managed to gasp weakly attempting to smile before his mind gave out and he fell into darkness. This time he gave in willingly. He wasn't alone anymore.

[kitorin]

dear stranger.

in which, itoshi rin is terrible at keeping promises.

contents. itoshi rin x reader, hurt no comfort (just not from rin himself), childhood friends, unrequited feelings (implied), reader is a year older than rin, a bit of isagi x reader at the end, all word vomit it's past 1 am cut me some slack

a/n. kinda short since my recent fics were so long and i need a break (i have more planned anyways)

For as long as you can remember, Itoshi Rin has always been there.

You were two peas in a pod; inseparable, possessing a bond that no one could ever replicate. You've known each other since birth, and your mothers had been best friends even before you were born.

All four seasons and all year long, you were together. Winter was composed of snow fights, snoozing inside of a kotatsu, with a cup of hot chocolate. Gasping while pointing at the gorgeous cherry blossoms blooming in the spring, eagerly trying to catch the petals dancing with the wind. Splashing and kicking up water at the beach with each other, enjoying refreshing watermelon as you both bask within the warmth of the sunlight. Admiring the crimsons, saffron and golds of Autumn, giggling at the satisfying crunch of leaves lying on the pavement.

Playdates or sleepovers, either way you were both over the moon. Screaming with joy and playing together all day, later scheming to stay up all night to whisper each other every secret (all while making sure Sae sleeps undisturbed), only to pass out an hour or two later.

He's the reason why your childhood was so warm, overflowing with happy memories, the mere thought of him engulfing with you warmth.

You didn't go to the same preschools and daycares, yet you were still each other's bestfriend, and it was going to stay that way forever, if you did start primary a bit earlier than him.

"Mama what do you mean Rin won't come to school?!" The weather perfectly suited your mood, rain hammering against the roof and windows. Five year old you pouted, refusing to believe what you and his mother just announced. In protest you slammed the table, standing up.

"y/n, calm down. Rin's still going to primary as well. Just not at your school." Your mum orders you to sit down, and you obey reluctantly, as she continues throwing ingredients into the hot pot.

"But why?" A disappointed whine leaves your lips. "I want to learn more with Rinnie."

"It's okay." Rin's mother pats your hair, moving it out of your face to prevent it getting into your food. "You'll still be best friends, your mother and I didn't go to the same one either. We even grew up in different towns."

"But I want Rin at my school." Your mum sighs at how stubborn you were being.

"y/n I'll still be your bestfriend, I always will no matter what."

"But what if you find someone else." Your voice begins breaking, and your mother panics as she senses a mental breakdown, noticing early tears beginning to accumulate on your lash line.

Rin holds out his pinky. "I promise! We'll be together until we grow-, no, for the rest of our lives."

You intertwine his pinky with yours, it's so warm and soft, and his dedication makes you grin. "Promise! You're not allowed to break it."

"I swear on my life! You're not allowed to either." Both of you break out into a giggle, which earns a proud 'awwww' from your mothers, with hints of relief subtlety thanking Rin for preventing a mental breakdown from you.

That lunch had to be one of your favourites, Rin and his puppy eyes were adorable, even if his 'promise' lacked honesty and truth.

"Rin." No answer.

"Riiiin." Still no answer.

"Itoshiiii?"

He finally responds. "What?"

"Get off your phone. Talk to me." You frown, wondering what was so interesting that he'd avoid talking to you entirely, despite coming over to your house. So far all he did was remain seated in your chair, eyes focused onto the screen.

"No. It's important. 't's for an upcoming game." He doesn't even look away from his phone.

"Is it stressful? Do you want to talk about i-?"

"Shush."

You don't bother pushing the conversation, if he'd choose it over you it must've been a significant match. You spend the rest of your time reading a book, occasionally glancing at Rin.

Nothing happened.

"So, how's Rin?" Your mother asks before you sleep, doing one last check before heading to her room.

"He's good, really busy with soccer."

"You've been saying that all year. Is soccer all you talk about? What about school? Are his grades alright? How's he adapting to middle school?"

You open your mouth to answer, only to come to a horrible conclusion. You don't know. Rin's the boy you've spent over a decade with, the one who knows everything about you and you know everything about him.

Yet you can't say anything about him, aside for his dedication to soccer, which is something anyone could tell about him.

"Oh yeah! He gets along really well with his teammates, he's doing well." Before your mum suspects anything, you hastily lie, something that's not unrealistic nor concerning enough for your mother to feel the need to check. You force a yawn, hoping your mum stops asking and goes to sleep soon.

Your strategies work, as she quickly wishes you good night, leaving your room. Now you're free to start worrying.

'You've been saying that all year' now that you're finally taking it into consideration, she's right.

Because there's quite literally nothing else to tell her.

You're trying to count, trying to count how many hangouts resulted in him being glued to his phone, only stopping when your parents announce dinner.

Suddenly your lip's quivering, and anxiety blurs your vision as you feel tears gathering in your eyes.

It's still unknown to you why it's taken you forever to notice, but it's like a truck driving into you; heavy and brutal. Now that you've thought about it, you haven't properly hung out in forever, all he does is do something soccer related.

You understand having a passion. Not his cold treatment towards you, the one that was supposed to be his bestfriend.

It's just temporary, a middle school team can't even compare or come close. Rin's current behaviour was merely an attempt to adjust to middle school life, give it a year or two then you'll go back to laughing all day and building sandcastles.

"Seriously? She did that?" Rin's mum almost yells, shocked at the events recounted by your mother.

"Shhhh. Rin's sleeping."

"Poor thing... must be tired from training all the time."

You walk into the conversation halfway, blanket in hand, making your way to Rin's resting figure on the bean bag.

Gosh, he looks stunning.

His defined jaw, long eyelashes adorning his face, his bangs which rested right above his eyes, everything about him looked perfect, even if he was sleep. Even his lips look kissable in this state. You ignore that thought and carry on with what you were doing.

You're gentle and careful, ensuring you don't move the bean bag and draping your blanket over him. There's concern clouding your heart, the other day only his mum came over, apparently he had stayed home to sleep all day. You prayed his sleep schedule was okay, as you went to join your mum.

"C'mon eat more." Rin's mum smiles, she completely contrasts Rin, warm and welcoming. "Thank you for always being so nice to him. You're only a year old yet you're so much more mature. He's really lucky to have you."

If only Rin thought that. If only this 'friendship' continued because of him, instead of the close friendship between your mothers.

Your attempts to figure out what happened were fruitless, almost instantly being dismissed.

If only soccer didn't take over his life, no, if only you had stuck together during your education.

You feel so foolish, the overwhelming guilt strangling you won't go away, not even both of your mothers believe you're still bestfriends, little do they know Rin doesn't see you that way anymore. You're now essentially just strangers now,

If only he kept that stupid pinky promise.

"So Rin was that kind of person." Yoichi hums, still staring at the picture that was hidden in your desk. It's the two of you during the peak of what was supposed to be an eternal friendship, where you had an arm tightly wrapped around him. Even over a decade later you see it as a way to rub salt into the wound.

"Yeah." It wasn't easy but you ended up explaining you and Rin to your boyfriend, Yoichi. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, fighting the urge to cry. Merely talking about him replicates the pain of that night, when you realized how truly meaningless you are to him.

"Hey." He's quick to notice your discomfort, wrapping his arms around you, lovingly patting your back. "It's okay." He whispers in your ear.

"It's not your fault."

That's what made you lose it, a choked cry and tears now streaming down your cheeks.

All this time you've been questioning if you were ever worth loving, all because someone who claimed to stay by your side forever disappeared so easily.

"It's okay, everything's okay." He continues to repeat. "I'm right here, okay? Let it all out. I'm not going anywhere."

You cling onto him, like a child. It was almost embarrassing to behave this way, weeping over someone who's probably forgotten you by now.

"'m sorry- I shouldn't be upse-"

"No. Don't treat yourself like that." Yoichi refuses to listen to anything negative about you, and that includes anything self deprecating. He carries you to your bed, placing you down gently, and joining you. Yoichi peppers you with light kisses, warmth ghosting over your face.

And he's right. You had every right to be hurt to this day. He was your bestfriend, your other half, and Rin himself took that all away from you heartlessly. The least he could've done was at least express that he wanted nothing to do with you.

"I promise you, I'm going to destroy him during our next game. I don't care if we're on the same team, I'm scoring more goals than him no matter what. No one deserves to treat you like that." Yoichi goes for a deeper kiss this time, rough, calloused hands cupping your cheeks. "Don't even think about saying you weren't good enough for Rin. You're perfect." Even after pouring your heart out and bawling because of it, you can't help but smile.

You're finally coming to terms with it, that the Rin who you'd play tag with along the graceful shores of Kamakura, was now a mere stranger to you, one that you'll hold dear to your heart.

tagging. @kiyumiya

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[trafal-gah]

Decided to do a Tokyo Revengers gc😂, hope you like it.

Desc: Smiley accidentally spills readers crush so now she's pissed.

Chaotic GC

Mikey: Hey everyone

Ran: Hey Mickey✨😌

Mikey: It's Mikey, not Mickey😐

Ran: I know, just wanna get on your nerves 😌

Draken: You just had to, didn't you, Haitani? 🙄

Ran: Leave me alone 😤

Smiley: Has anyone talked to Y/N-chan since my slip up? 😅

Mikey: You fucked up big time.

Emma: Fr, fucking dumbass 💀

Y/N: Guys!!! 😭

Smiley: Y/N-chan!!! 😭😭

Y/N: Don't you dare, I will end you😐

Mikey: Dayum😂

Draken: She mad, good job bro👍

Y/N: You have no idea what you made me go through 😐😐

Emma: Utter humiliation?

Ran: Total disgrace?

Y/N: Precisely, gold star for you both😗✨

Ran: I'll cherish it forever 😭

Y/N: I even lost my phone 😭

Rindou: How is that his fault? 😐

Y/N: Story time Mfs😗😌

Chifuyu: Oh oh, start with once upon a time.

Y/N: It's quite long so.... Yh.... Once upon time, there lived a blabber mouth, called Nahoya, who couldn't keep his mouth shut and blabbed an unnecessary information about girl named Y/N.

Mikey: We know this part🙄

Y/N: Hush😪. Anyway, to sum it up, I went for a walk, yada yada yada, I met Inupi and Koko having such an adorable date 😭😭✨✨✨

Mikey: Ewww😐

Y/N: Inupi terrified me, but Koko was really nice and took me shopping.

Koko: Ya welcome 😌😌

Y/N: So in the process, my phone went missing. That is the end of my story😪😪😪

Draken: So wtf are u chatting with😐?

Y/N: Turns out it was with Koko, my mum called it, he answered and he dropped it over at my house.

Ran: Hold up, he knows your house now? 😐

Koko: Indeed I do😌✨

Chifuyu: So how much you want, Koko? 👀

Mikey: Aren't you broke? 👀

Chifuyu: No😐

Mikey:But when I asked you to buy me dorayaki, you said you were broke😭😭😭😭

Chifuyu: That was then😐 besides, Y/N is a girl🙂

Smiley: Wanna get a makeover, Mikey? 👀

Mikey: Yes I do, that's gender inequality right there 😭😭😭

Taiju: Do you idiots realize how late it is🙄?

Y/N: Oh shit.....

*Y/N has left the group*

Mikey: She left? 😭😭😭

Rindou: Your fault, Smiley😒

Smiley: I apologized 😭

Emma: No you didn't 😶

Shinichiro: You're all noisy, for fucks sake go to bed😑

Taiju: Yo Shin

Shinichiro: Yo Taiju

Waka: Yo

Mikey: Why are the old people coming now😶?

Waka: Tf😑😑

Emma: Shin-nii, I'm hungry 😭😭

Mikey: I'm hungry too

Izana: Same here😪😪

Shinichiro: The fuck😶? Y'all just ate😶😶

Mikey: We did not 'just' eat....

Izana: Yeah, that was like 30 minutes ago 😐😐

Ran: I'm so glad I don't have any younger siblings 😌😌👍👍😗😗

Rindou: Excuse me😐😐😐

*Rindou is Offline*

Ran: Holy shit, what have I done😐😐😐?

Koko: So there's only 1 Haitani left, right? 😂😂

Draken: Looks that way, Rindou's probably gonna drop Ran on the streets.

Ran: Shut up.

Izana: I'm still hungry😶😶

Waka: Young Kurokawa, we say 'hangry' not 'hungry'👍👍😌😌

Taiju: Fucking dumbass

Waka: Aye, aye, don't insult your elders.

Mikey: Big deal, you turned 22, we won't have peace of mind anymore 😐😐😐

Ran: So.... Um....

Chifuyu: How did it go? 😂

Ran: Whose house can I stay in at under short notice for two day😅😭

Shinichiro: It's a full house

Emma: Tell me about it

Waka: Takeomi and Benkai are already at my place 😪

Draken: Not enough room

Chifuyu: Baji-san and Kazutora are crashing at mine😗

Izana: You already heard it from Shin and Emma so I don't owe you an explanation ✨

Taiju: I would let you stay

Mikey: Plot twist coming 😪

Taiju: But I just wanna see you suffer and sleep on the streets😌

Mikey: Called it✨

Ran: Anyone, please 😭😭😭😭😭😭, I'm too handsome to sleep on the streets 😭😭😭

Mikey: Coughs in Spanish 💀

Ran: Got something to say midget😪

Mikey: No no, anyways, good night Haitani, have fine sleeping with the rats👍✨😌

Ran:

Hope you liked it😗😗🙂🙂, I originally got this gc idea from @mulletmitsuya so go check out their work.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Quotes that speak to me on this really fucking shitty day

Hey, have I told you lately that you're brave? I still remember what you said to that little girl in the hospital about Luke Skywalker:"He's proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is." Sweetheart, you're proof too.

It is, indeed, bullshit. It's all I can do not to pack a bag and be gone forever. Perhaps I could live in your room like a recluse. You could have food sent up for me, and I'll be lurking in disguise in a shadowy corner when you answer the door. It'll all be very dreadfully Jane Eyre

I'm afraid, though, I'm stuck here. Gran keeps asking Mum when I'm going to enlist, and did I know Philip had already served a year by the time he was my age. I do need to figure out what I'm going to do, because I'm certainly closing in on the end of what's an acceptable amount of time for a gap year. Please do keep me in your- what is it American politicians say?-thoughts and prayers

It drives me nuts sometimes that you don't get to have more say in your life. When I picture you happy, I see you with your own apartment somewhere outside of the palace and a desk where you can write anthologies of queer history. And I'm there, using up your shampoo and making you come to the grocery store with me and waking up in the same damn time zone with you every morning.

Have you ever had something go so horribly, horribly, unbelievably badly that you'd like to be loaded into a cannon and jettisoned into the merciless black maw of outer space?

I wonder sometimes what is the point of me, or anything. I should have just packed a bag like I said. I could be in your bed, languishing away until I perish, fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock.

Specifically, we were discussing enlistment, Philip and Shaan and I, and I told Philip I'd rather not follow the traditional path and that I hardly think I'd be useful to anyone in the military. He asked why I was so intent on disrespecting the traditions of the men of this family, and I truly think I dissociated straight (ha) out of the conversation, because I opened my blasted mouth and said, "Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip."

Once Shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier, Philip had quite a few words for me, some of which were "confused or misguided" and "ensuring the perpetuity of the bloodline" and "respecting the legacy." Honestly, I don't recall much of it. Essentially, I gathered that he was not surprised to discover I am not the heterosexual heir I'm supposed to be, but rather surprised that I do not intend to keep pretending to be the heterosexual heir I'm supposed to be.

Sometimes I imagine moving to New York to take over launching Pez's youth shelter there. Just leaving. Not coming back. Maybe burning something down on the way out. It would be nice.

9. How hard you try

10. How hard you've always tried.

11. How determined you are to keep trying.

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you.

They all turn to look at him, and Alex feels a wave of something so much bigger than himself sweep over him, like when he was a child standing bowlegged in the Gulf of Mexico, rip-tide sucking at his feet. A sound escapes his throat uninvited, something that he barely even recognizes, and June has him first, then the rest of them, arms and arms and hands and hands, pulling him close and touching his face and moving him until he's on the floor, the goddamn terrible hideous antique rug that he hates, sitting on the floor and staring at the rug and the threads of the rug and hearing the Gulf rushing in his ears and thinking distantly that he's having a panic attack, and that's why he can't breathe, but he's just staring at the rug and he's having a panic attack and knowing why his lungs won't work doesn't make them work again.

He's faintly aware of being shifted into his room, to his bed, which is still covered in the godforsaken fucking newspapers, and someone guides him onto it, and he sits down and tries very, very hard to make a list in his head.

One.

One.

One

Once upon a time, there was a young Prince, who was born in a castle. And there had never been a prince quite like him: he was born with his heart on the outside of his body.

Whereas the other princes and noble children could withstand the slings and arrows of childhood, the Prince felt everything acutely. Everything seemed to touch and threaten his unprotected heart.

Oh for Christ sake Alex, for once! I wish you could see me for who I am and not who you want me to be! Sometimes, I don't think you know me at all!

I wasn't raised by a loving, supportive family like you were!

Nothing will ever happen to you.

I don't want your protection, I want your support.

[indiainswiftland]

So my best friend is moving to the other side of the world. Before she knew she was going to leave, she was about to start college after spending a year dreaming about it. And we were gonna do our third year of theater togheter and get lead roles in the new play. And go brunch, and to the movies, and the library. And now she's leaving all of that behind. She's leaving me behind. I know it's not her intention to leave me behind, the reasons as to why her family is moving away are rather horrible. I know she has to support her mum, and i have to support her and i know we have to be the bravest we'll ever been. I know that the distance will never tear us apart. But i just feel so sad. I don't wanna live without her. I've known her since i was 6 years old. We share everything togheter and i know i'll never meet anyone that will get me as well as she does.

I'm gonna miss her telling me about her dreams, and im forever gonna kick myself for zoning out when she used to tell me about them. I'm gonna miss taking care of her little sister, i'm gonna miss taking the dog for a walk around the park in the morning with her.

I started watching bluey cause she told me to watch it. I've never did before cause i didn't want to watch a show for babies. But after she told me the news i decided to pick it up. I didn't really see the connection at the time but now i believe i decided to watch it to feel closer to her.

I know that they need to move out to live better even though it breaks my hearth. I'm trying to believe it's for the better even though right now it doesn't look like it. That everything is gonma work out even though right now everything feels like it's broken.

She's temporarily living in a town near our city before leaving the country. She is coming back next week to visit and she will be staying at my house for a few days. I guess we'll see then

[justrainandcoffee]

Inner demons (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc)

“They gave me a free pass to kill and I enjoyed it...”

Masterlist

Summary: It's 1917. Alfie and the men under his charge were allowed to return home. The war isn't over, but it's for him. At least physically. His wife found him one night sat in front of fireplace, he's mentally lost back in France. "Tell me a story about a man tortured by his own thoughts," his mind says "I'll tell you the story of Alfie Solomons."

Warnings: PTSD. Mentions of war. Blood. Murder. Suicide. Angst. Hurt/comfort.

Words: 1.5k

1917

"Captain, captain! It's Jacob Craig!! Captain!"

In his dreams, Alfie is following one if his men. Out of the trenches, a young soldier named Jacob is lying on the ground his whole body is shaking and Alfie can see why. His left leg is no there anymore and around him there's only blood.

"I'm…I'm so-sorry cap-captain."

"It's okay, soldier, you're fine. You're fine." Alfie put a hand on his shoulder and tried to not look at his missing leg.

"Te-tell my mum I lo-love her."

"I will."

Jacob Craig, only 19 years old, died no longer after. He was just a kid. Alfie wanted to yelled while some of the men put the corpse next to the others. He didn't have a chance to become a man, to have a family, to live a long life. Jacob Craig was one of the many that didn't have the chance to return home. His thoughts travelled to London. There, in a nice house in Camden Town, his wife was waiting for him. Alfie didn't know if he will be able to see her again.

A bomb exploded next to him and he ducked. When you're in a battlefield there's no time for sentimentalism. You kill or you die. Alfie grabbed his rifle and shot.

Next to him, his wife is sleeping but Alfie can't. His mind is torturing him, his nightmares are chasing him like a predator. He can name every single man who died under his watch. Not just Jacob Craig, there was a Kyle, a Christopher, an Andrew, a Derek… and so many more. You can hide if you want to, but you can't hide from your own mind.

Alfie was always an impulsive person, using the violence to be feared and respected was part of his nature. The problem is that the war increased that. He had to survive to return home and he knew what to do. But now in his mind there were not only the voices of his men, but also his enemies. The ones he killed with his own hands.

Back in 1914, before the war, he thought that returning home it'd be easy. But it wasn't. He was back, it's true, and it was more than millions could say, but the price he had to pay…

He goes to their living room. Alfie sits down in front of the chimney and watches the fire. It's hard to control himself. It's hard to pretend that everything is fine, when everything is not fine.

"Please, please… spare my life."

The voice of a man he never knew appears in his memories. Alfie can see his uniform in his mind. It was an Italian. 'A fucking wop'.

Alfie didn't spare his life. He took it and now the spirit of the Italian soldier lives forever in his conscience.

The rage he's carrying is too much. Too strong. "Tell me a story about a man tortured by his own thoughts, mom." His imagination says. And another voice responds: "I'll tell you the story of Alfie Solomons."

Anibal González was a good man. One of his best friends while they were there. Son of a Peruvian couple, Anibal was raise in England when both of his parents moved to Europe. Anibal was a funny man, full of good intentions who just wanted to live in the countryside and have a farm. That was before he blew up his brain after two years in the front. Alfie tried to stop him, but he couldn't.

He hides his face in his hands. "Make it stop… make it stop…"

"Al?" her soft voice, makes him turn around to see her. "Alfie, what's happening?"

"Ghosts… I can see them. They can see me. They're haunting me. All of them."

His hands are shaking and she put hers over his. Alfie is not the same and she can see that. His eyes are now always scrutinizing the surroundings. He's alert all the time and he can't sleep, like now.

"I don't want to hurt you, Rosie. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, Al."

"No, you don't understand. I know I'm 'ere, I know I'm safe now and I know who ya're… but it requires a lot of strength to reminding myself that. I need to tell me all the time that I'm not in the trenches. That there aren't wops here… only you. But I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to distinguish between ya and an enemy, between this house and the battlefield. I-… I'm terrified of hurting you. Of killing you, because my mind is damaged."

Rose caresses his face. Her poor Alfie. In her whole life she never saw him that bad… broken. Fuck those who dared to hurt him. She doesn't need a reminder to know that her husband isn't a good man, but Rose knows her husband is incapable of doing anything against her. And the proof is in front of her. Even broken, Alfie's biggest fear isn't his well-being but hers. The man she loves is terrified of hurting her because his mind isn't the same.

She hugs him and he hides his face against her body. Rose strokes his hair. "We'll face this together, Al. As always. Even if it takes you ages. I don't care. I'll be here."

"If I hurt ya, I will kill myself, ya know that, right? I fuckin' shoot myself."

"And I'm going to stop you before you can do it. You're my everything, Al. I know you better than I know myself. True that I don't know what did you experience in France, what did you see but I know how strong you are. And this is only…"

"They gave me a free pass to kill and I used it. I enjoyed it," he interrumpts. Alfie looks at her "I know I can't stop now. My nightmares, luv, are red and the voices keep claiming blood. Over and over again."

She notices that he's trembling again and holds him even tighter: "I wish we'd have the chance to run far away from here. I wish those who sent you there die cruelly. Alfie, I can't change the past. But I'm ready to this new present. If hypothetically you kill someone else… Do you think that will scare me? The day you arrive here covered by blood then I'll prepare a bath to help you to clean yourself. I'll stitch your wounds. I'll kiss your bruises. I'm not scared of you. But I'll help you to fight that urge, no matter what. Listen, I said I know you better than I know myself and it's true and since it's true, I know you're incapable of hurting me even if your voices are screaming at you."

In the house there's only the two of them. As always the two of them. Their dog called Fancy is sleeping next to the door. The sound of the fire is only interrupted by the sound of their breathing.

"I love ya, pet."

"I know. And I love you, too Al."

"I'm tired. It's just it. I'm tired of everything. Ya think it'll pass?"

"Everything always pass, Alfie. One day this will be a distant memory."

"Probably."

They remain in silence once again. When Rose watches at him again, she sees him sleeping on her. The woman caresses his hair slowly.

"They gave me a free pass to kill and I enjoyed it." His words are engraved in her mind now. If hell is a real place then Alfie's soul already has a room for him there. But he was not going to go alone there. If she had to sell her own soul to be with him then she's ready to make a deal with the devil himself if that meant to be with him forever.

Alfie sleeps with his head on her lap. He's dreaming again. He's in France but this time his wife is there, right in front of him while he's ready to use his rifle. Alfie's hands are shaking and is bitting his lower lip. He sees her smiling at him and before he'd realise what's happening, the gun fells on the ground. For the first time in his dreams he's not hurting anyone. Rose is right: he's incapable of hurting her even in his nightmares. The demons in his head scream but he's not listening to them. In the dreams, Alfie smiles at her too.

[george-weasleys-girl]

Dreamgirl - Chapter 3

(I just did a very quick proofread, so please pardon any mistakes. I'll be doing a more thorough one later.)

~•~

George and Y/N spent the rest of his dad's reading of A Christmas Carol exchanging shy glances and silent, blushing giggles. Now, they sat together on the sofa, continuing to do more of the same.

"I genuinely don't know why my brain goes blank when I look at you."

The words had flown unbidden, out of George’s mouth, and he looked away, hoping to hide the bright crimson blossoming up from his neck and across his face. Even his freckles were blushing.

"Same," Y/N agreed. "I'm usually not this shy."

George turned his gaze back to her and found her gentle eyes watching him, her cheeks a rosy red to match his own.

"Yeah?" He blurted out a little louder than he intended.

Y/N nodded and smiled. "Yeah."

Something about knowing he wasn't the only one gave George the boost of confidence he needed. "So, how long have you known Percy and Penny?"

"I've known Penny since, well, since forever. We used to live across the street from each other when we were kids. And I've known Percy since they started dating."

Holy fucking shit.

Percy and Penny had been dating for almost two years. Two fucking years. And he and Y/N had never once crossed paths, except on those morning bus rides.

"How have we never met?" Y/N pondered.

George gave a nervous laugh, his gaze darting away once again. "Because I'm an idiot," he said, wincing at his sudden inability to keep his stupid mouth shut.

A look of puzzlement crossed Y/N's face. "What do you mean you're an idiot?"

George sighed. This wasn't something he intended to tell her. Not yet, anyway. There was no guarantee that anything would come of this, so why embarrass himself unduly.

Oh, well, he thought. In for a penny, in for a pound. "We ride the same bus," he began.

Y/N tilted her head. "The same bus?"

"In the mornings. To the university. We go to the same one," George fumbled.

"Ok..." Y/N shifted in her seat. Tonight was taking an unexpected turn. "Same bus, same school."

George nodded.

"And, I take it, you noticed me?"

"Of course. How could I not?"

The corners of Y/N's lips quirked up. "So, you've been admiring me from afar?"

George's cheeks tinged pink. "Yeah. But just on the bus," he clarified. "I don't follow you to class or anything. I don't even know where you go. You go one way. I go the other."

Y/N chewed on her lip to hide her smile. His fervent attempt to reassure her that he wasn't some crazy stalker was really quite adorable. "Well, that's good," she said before taking a sip of her drink. "So, for how long have you have you been admiring me from afar?"

"Since the, uh, beginning of this semester."

"Since the...you mean to tell me we've been riding the same bus for three months and you haven't once considered saying hello?"

"Umm, yeah," George started fiddling with the loose string on his sweater again. "But you always end up on the opposite end of the bus from me. And you were always reading, and I didn't want to disturb you or seem creepy or whatever."

"I wouldn't have thought you were creepy."

"That's what I told him," Fred interjected, suddenly appearing beside them. "But does he listen to me? Noooo."

George narrowed his eyes at his twin. "Don't you have something better to do with your time, like snog Angie under the mistletoe?"

"Nah, she's helping mum in the kitchen, so I thought I'd come over and - "

"Eavesdrop? Interfere?" George cut him off.

"Help." Fred corrected.

"I don't need help."

Fred ignored him and turned to Y/N. "He thought it was too creepy to flirt with you on the bus. But, then one night he saw you at the pub and was gonna - "

"Fred. Go. Away," George said through gritted teeth.

"Not until I'm done," Fred turned his attention back to Y/N. "Now, where was I? Oh, right. The pub."

George groaned and rubbed a hand over his face as he contemplated all the advantages of finding a nice hole to crawl into for the rest of his life.

"Wait, that's the night I broke up him." Y/N's voice cut through the younger twin's ruminations.

"What?" George's head snapped up.

"The night you saw me at the pub," she said. "I think that was the night I broke up with Marc."

"Oh," George blinked in surprise and looked up at Fred, who only winked at his twin and sauntered off.

"I had no idea," George looked stunned.

"How could you? Besides, it didn't happen until after we left anyway."

Uncertain what to say next, he simply nodded. For a few long moments, they sat in silence. Then Y/N started laughing.

George watched her with a confused grin.

"I'm sorry, George," she said. "I'm not laughing at you. It's just that this whole situation is like some crazy sitcom. You know, the one where the guy is pining away over a girl for like ten seasons. And all this stuff crazy happens, and he thinks it's a hopeless cause, but then he gets the girl in the end."

George looked like a deer in the headlights. "Gets... the... girl?"

Y/N shrugged. "Well, yeah. I know what it's like to crush on someone and be too afraid to say anything," she explained. "And besides, I like you, and I'd very much like to get to know you better."

A goofy grin spread across George's face. "Really?"

Y/N smiled. "Yeah. Really."

George beamed and started to say something but was interrupted by loud, tipsy caroling coming from the kitchen. "Hey, um, what do you say we go find somewhere quieter, so we can talk?"

"I'd love to."

~•~

One week later

"Being snowed in with you is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me," George confessed while they waited for Bill and Percy to retrieve Percy's car.

"Same," Y/N smiled. "I'm not ready for it to end."

"Me either," he agreed. "Time just flew by."

Y/N nodded but said nothing.

This time, though, when the silence fell between them, there was no awkwardness. Only as a sudden, intense longing that overtook them both. Y/N leaned in first, and George bridged the gap. Their lips met, soft and tentative, brushing against each other, only for a moment.

"Keep going?" George asked.

"Oh, yes," Y/N smiled, cupping his cheek and pulling him back in.

~•~

"Hey, whenever you two lovebirds decide to come up for air," Fred's amused voice seemingly came out of nowhere, startling the couple apart. "Percy and Penny are almost ready to go."

"Oh, ok. I'll, uh, I'll be right down," Y/N said, fussing needlessly with her hair.

"Well, don't take too long. People might think you're up to something," Fred gave them a cheeky grin and was gone.

"You know," George began once he was certain his twin was out of earshot. "I have my car here. If you want, I could take you home."

Y/N's smile was like a sunbeam, lighting up the darkest corners of the room. "I'd really like that, George. "

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, her eyes shining as bright as her smile. "And maybe you could stay for dinner and a movie? Or maybe a movie marathon? I could make some soup."

George grinned from ear to ear. "I'd really like that, too."

~•~

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