#i'm 14 and i have a voice

[veone]

▪️if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.

[bumblingbabooshka]

I like Tuvok canonically having a crush on Noss that he struggles through because it means that something about this stranded spider hunter appealed greatly to him and I want to know what that is

[clowngremlin]

basically made dinner all by myself today (older brother only seasoned our chicken breasts and i did the rest of everything)......i cooked raw meat which is something i don't do very often and was worried about, but everything turned out great!!! i also did my laundry today, took the dog for a walk and fed him and have been on top of making sure his water dish is always full, loaded the dishwasher with dirty dishes (idk how to turn it on, i'm gonna ask my dad how to do it when he gets home so i can begin to do it by myself!), did some drawing, wrote in my journal, and pulled myself out of a depressive spiral i was having earlier in the day!!!! really beating the "spencer can't take care of himself or do anything ever" allegations......

[micamone]

it was jk simmons

[prudencepaccard]

didn't get cast in ensemble. they did cast a girl at callbacks I literally taught the harmony to though. fucked up

[raiiny-bay]

writing adult kel & co for the first time in my life

[vynnyal]

*slaps this down* I did it. I participated in the fight of art. *sleeps for the rest of the month*

[bombusbombus]

How long can I procrastinate learning how to shave before I look like shit... 🤔

[timetravelbypen]

Power of the Doctor ramble

So I’m of two minds about the lack of Thasmin kiss. I’ve hopefully figured out a way to watch this with my best friend who doesn’t have cable tomorrow, so once I’ve seen it again and can more fully appreciate what we DID get without my hopes of what we COULD get in the way, I might be able to solidify this a bit more, but. Because on the one hand, what we DID get was incredible! Overall I really really loved the episode! Their scenes together were all so good, there was so much care and respect built into every single line, and Yaz’ Doctorification arc was TRULY incredible. And it builds from and respects the Doctor’s choice in the previous episode, that this is something she just can’t give. And as a very ace person, a story treating platonic love as literally the most important thing in the universe is amazing, actually. And also this is a story of “it matters that the love was there. It didn’t save everyone, but it saved a lot of people, and it matters even if it wasn’t everything we wanted, because the love really was there” story. And I love those stories. But I work in corporate IP media. And I know, all too well, just how hard it is to get queer things greenlit. I have been there. I have spent so much time crying in office bathrooms trying and failing to get something through for characters *much* less brand significant, in much less high-profile formats, than the Doctor. And so I don’t really know if this was what Chibnall (and I don’t pin the “blame” for this on him at all) felt was best for his characters, or if some exec somewhere who hadn’t even read the scripts said “you can go this far and no further. Here is the line. These are the Rules.” I suspect, from my experience, that it’s the latter, although because of my experiences I might be reading into it too much. I have no way of knowing for sure. And I have to admit, it hurts that I thought maybe, just maybe, we might win this one.

Also, being a professional editor means sometimes it’s hard to turn off Editor Brain, and for the most part this episode did (which is high praise!), but I wanted 1-3 more lines in their final scene together. We’ll see if watching it without a GODDAMN COMMERCIAL BREAK in between “let’s not say goodbye” and Yaz being dropped off (seriously BBC America you’re the worst) changes my mind about this, but I think I just needed a tiny little bit more to get that Yaz “I’m with you, whatever happens” Khan would willingly walk away so easily. And I loved her arc and I’m SO RELIEVED she’s alive and I think she’s been left in a great place, and overall I think Chibs is pretty spare with his writing and that’s what I like about it? He doesn’t belabor the point, but this one, this needed just a tiny bit more, I think. It needed a “I think I have to do this next bit alone” / “Are you sure?” / “I promised I would get you home, Yasmin Khan. And I will.” / “Let’s not say goodbye.” Just that last little bit felt like it was missing, just one last little bit. Also I hope Yaz gets to have a good cry somewhere because she’s dropped straight from “my not-quite-girlfriend/best friend died” to “former companion support group” with nothing in between and OOF what whiplash.

Also also I knew that was exactly what returning-DT would say. I KNEW IT. *sighs forever* (10 brought me into this show I love 10 I will always love 10 but - again, less for the-actual-show-itself reasons and more for external fears that RTD will just pretend 13′s era didn’t exist reasons - I am not excited to see him back in this precise way, but we shall see.)

[willtasker]

[riverofrainbows]

I'm giving myself a little jumpscare every time i talk with my relaxed natural voice which is now noticeably different than before

It's exciting but like i said, little jumpscare each time

I have kind of forgotten that even though I'm excited for it andooked forward to ir a long time and like the change, i still have to get used to it, and then do a little bit more getting used to it for the autism

[tuningknight]

imagine living such a life that you can afford to hate or look down on other people, that you can even afford to think of others in a bad, strange light for being harmless.. for being themselves. that as long as it's not you being targeted, as long as you yourself have never felt that pain or have a shred of sympathy, you're okay to laugh in the face of others and push them down in the mud.

imagine living in such ignorance you don't understand the joy of life when you see it. people existing and doing what they love, hoping to connect with others. and here you are with everyone else making fun of it because they're just not the "norm" or "ideal."

i just.. don't really understand, and am disappointed in the covid/lockdown generation of growing teens for being such immature people... looks like the future's a bit bleak. how can we get this generation to understand the weight of what they're saying, the importance of socialization and developing a sense of sympathy/compassion, will be a mystery to me. isolation breeds cruelty, or immaturity, it seems.

[thedreadvampy]

hate penny so much bc she looks exactly like my extremely shitty first girlfriend and every time she comes on screen I say to Sam I JUST FEEL LIKE I CAN SMELL THE WEEB THROUGH THE SCREEN

this may be unfair. but down to the hair and the Eevee backpack she looks SO MUCH LIKE HER and I just cannot

[ghostzvne]

umineko is such a good fucking game

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[thedeliaishere]

YOUNG WOMAN - Actually, detective, I'm a woman.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She says it so insistently, as if arguing with you. You may have upset her.

COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - You feel a pit in your stomach. You did something wrong, but you don't know what.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Her way of dressing, the feminine name, yet deep voice - it should have been clear to you sooner. She's transgender.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Almost imperceptible, the lieutenant anxiously twitches his eyebrow.

DAMAGED MORALE - 1

Transgender? What's that?

This doesn't have any bearing on the investigation.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - A transgender person is someone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Oftentimes they will dress conforming to their desired gender roles, change their names, and seek medical intervention to, "transition."

Gender is rather bourgeois, anyway.

Why would any proud Revacholian discard their masculinity?

Changing your gender? That sounds like quite the hustle. Maybe we can learn a thing or two from this woman.

That's cool. I have no opinion on this one way or another.

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Just as Mazov dared to challenge the established order of capitalism, so too do others challenge the order of things such as sex and gender.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE'VE FELT THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN. WHO CARES IF SHE USED TO BE A MAN? HAVE SEX WITH HER NOW! ITS WHAT A REAL MAN WOULD DO!

EMPATHY - [Trivial: Success] - Don't do that. It's clear now, you upset her for accidentally calling her a man. Just apologize.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Profusely.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It's important to be a good ally.

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Make a real show of it, sire!

"Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'll leave you alone forever now."

"I haven't been a good representative of the RCM. We're here to help the people of Martinaise, no matter their identity. I'm sorry to have let you down."

[Drama - Legendary 14] Try and come up with an elaborate, heartfelt apology in the style of the turn of the century thespians.

HIGH 83% +1 Found testosterone ampoule on nightstand. +1 Homo-Sexual Underground. +1 Read about the turn of the century thespians. -1 Recovered your gun. -1 Masculinity challenged. This is a Red Check. It cannot be retried.

⚀⚀

CHECK FAILURE

YOU - You try and come up with the words to convey your apology to the young woman, but you come up blank. It's hard to fit, "transgender" into iambic pentameter, as it turns out.

DRAMA - I'm sorry, sire. I have failed you.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective? You've been standing there for a whole minute. Are you okay?"

ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Shit, the lieutenant is onto us. We have to say something soon, or we could lose him.

COMPOSURE [Trivial: Success] - Don't worry, we can still salvage this. Anyone have any ideas?

VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - Let me handle this.

You - "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a fucking failure. Do you want me to kill myself?"