#i'm SO glad you asked me this

[calmparticles]

💉 system update! restart now? 💉

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[black-and-yellow]

Losers

Sometimes you just have to force your friend to pose for a mirror selfie in a public bathroom. 

Put way too much effort into this for it just being a redraw of me n my friend in VRChat.

(world: ‘She left you at prom last minute so now youre crying in the bathroom while mr brightside plays’.)

[2hoothoots]

Has Dogen been able to interact with any of the archetypes or is it when he's on mission/around Raz he doesn't use them that often?

yeah, he's pretty well-acquainted with all of them! on mission, the Agent and the Performer are the two who come out most, and if they all have to split up Dogen sometimes gets left with one or both of the archetypes as backup.

so he's, uh. he's seen some stuff.

the rest is under the cut bc Long

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i see a lot of ya’ll self-depreciating over how much you cry and like...generally speaking, crying is a very healthy process. it’s an important means of 

expressing & processing strong emotions

relieving stress

experiencing catharsis 

moving on to a recovery period

this mindset that people just need to train themselves out of crying...that really worries me. bc the alternative is to repress those feelings instead of expressing them...and from firsthand experience i can tell you it is very much not worth doing that. i’ve been there, i’ve done it, i’ve bought into that mindset. i thought it would make me stronger and less vulnerable. instead i fell so out of touch with myself, it took years of therapy for me to learn to identify my own emotions again. i literally forgot how to tell when i’m upset or sad, bc my body had been trained out of expressing it. that’s an extreme scenario but it’s not uncommon, and if you spend too much time criticizing yourself over your own emotions, it can creep up on you.

i like to think we all know how harmful it is to tell children to just “stop crying, dammit.” turns out, the same is true for adults.

 just. please change the mindset that being visibly upset is somehow shameful. if you find yourself crying a lot, that probably means something in your external and internal experiences needs to change: you don’t deserve to feel angry, frustrated, frightened, sad, or upset so frequently that it distresses you. those are only supposed to be sometime emotions. 

but telling yourself to just. stop crying, or to stop feeling what you’re feeling? that’s harmful, and it doesn’t work. no one controls their emotions out of sheer will--at best we shut them down, and then pay heavily for it later. if we want our minds to feel better, we need to give them assistance, not threats. threatening or bullying our bodies and minds to behave the way we want them to will always backfire.

[mochaart]

Oh my giwjvijefowfjwfi your art is incredible- I...sorry it's just really good and I wanted you to know that-

also would it be too much trouble to ask for a few Chihiro's? If not, I just wanted to let you know that your art made my day and possibly my week, so just have a great day!

it is a CRIME that i haven't posted any chihiros up until now

[gentil-minou]

Since we're discussing abuse and whatnot, what's your take on Chloe? Abused/Neglected or not?

Short answer: a combination of neglect and over-indulgence that would explain why Chloe behaves the way she does.

So Chloe has an interested presentation because the way her mother and father treat her contrast greatly but they do give us some insight into her upbringing.

For starters, her parents treat her both differently and together that's created a challenge for her developmentally and warped her idea of what it means to be liked.

Her mom neglected it, that is a fact. I would say her neglect is different from Adrien's. Where Gabriel neglects Adrien in that he doesn't give him the attention a child needs, Audrey does give Chloe attention but only to berate and ridicule her. It's a form of persistent emotional abuse, even caring so little to remember her own daughter's name which is really damn hurtful.

Growing up in this sort of scenario, where it seems like Chloe is always at fault and not worth her mother's time is easy to internalize, to the point where she believes it. Then her mom leaves, and I would hypothesize that Chloe's response is to feel like she was the reason her mom left. That is pretty traumatizing, and we even see her having flashbacks in the show which suggests it still affects her.

So the neglect is there, but then we have the way Andre over-indulges Chloe likely in an attempt to fill the void left by her mother. Most parents want to give their children the world, but an adult is also supposed to show healthy boundary setting and model appropriate behavior as well as setting reasonable expectations. By being overindulged, Chloe seems to have developed a somewhat greedy personality and self-centeredness, which makes sense given how she was raised. It also may have made her feel love was conditional, maybe encouraging her to act out more and throw tantrums in order to receive attention and affection. It's a cycle of reinforcement that seems to have warped Chloe's perspective. It also makes rejection much harder for her to deal with, and that is why she reacted so strongly to Ladybug in S3 and why Garbagemoth's offer of the miraculous (conditional, like what she has been used to) was so tempting.

Her having a sister also sheds some light on her interactions with Marinette. People often make the comparison between Marinette and Zoe, and I have to wonder if that might be intentional in terms of character design. See for Chloe, who wants to please her mom as much as possible, she might have looked at Zoe who at least was in NY at the same time and been jealous, wishing she were in Zoe's shoes (though I have a feeling Zoe has a different perspective of the situation, and I think her mom probably played a role in Zoe's anxieties, but I can save that for another ask).

So with the thought in mind, I can easily imagine one day Chloe going to school and seeing Mari for the first time and instantly being reminded of her sister. We don't know much about Mari, but we do know Chloe would bully her. So it's possible the reason Chloe targeted Mari specifically was because she reminded her of Zoe. It doesn't justify the reason at all, but it does provide some insight.

I know Chloe fans hate Zoe because it appears she may be denying the redemption arc, but I would argue Zoe is Chloe's guide for redemption. As seen in Queen Banana and also in Optigami, Zoe is the only member of Chloe's family to ever show her unconditional love. In addition, when Chloe threw a "tantrum" at the end of Queen Banana, Zoe didn't give in and indulge or ignore Chloe, but remained firm in her attitude and hold her ground in a way that modeled "What you did wasn't right and you need to apologize, but I still love you anyway." I would even argue Zoe might end up being a better parental figure that their parents were. I'm looking forward to seeing where they go with her character arc!

[shanastoryteller]

I dunno if you see the posts often, but how do you feel when someone recommends some of your teen wolf fics? Or fics from fandoms you’ve not visited in a while. Are you ever like “haha. nice.” Or “augh, that one?” sorry for being nosy lol

lol it's a little bit of "oh no people are still reading that" but! it's also "oh wow people are still reading that"

and it's not so much old fandom as old writing! i'm just a better writer now than when I was a teenager (i hope). or a fic i really don't feel like i did a good job at executing (rip ngawb). the thing is, hope is the thing with feathers is my second most popular fic after survival is a talent, and I wrote the whole where thou art, that is home series when I was nineteen

i'm twenty seven now! and i've written consistently since then! that's EIGHT YEARS more writing experience! and life experience! it makes a difference

at the end of the day, i share my writing with all of you because i hope it sparks joy. i like finishing stories for you, because i know how much it sucks to get invested in something only to never find the ending. so if you guys like a story enough to recommend it to someone else, even if it's one I'm not proud of or one i wrote as a teenager - that's a positive thing! i'm happy that this thing is making you happy, even after so many years and it being of questionable quality!

[shadeswift99]

Hello. Just. A moment of your time. This is a Mythicalsausage acting and video editing appreciation post.

- How. HOW. This man has "practiced nonchalance fading into barely restrained panic" down to a SCIENCE. It's such a tricky line to define between "genuine arrogance" "confidence as denial" "confidence to disguise fear" and "outward display of confidence forced by an outside entity to avert suspicion" but he shifts between them so fluidly, how -

- EDITING. The affect he had on his voice for the possession stuff was cool on its own, but the laughter in the background that only he could hear? The way it was almost distracting while he was talking to Pearl, like it was making it hard for him to think??

- Speaking of video editing - don't even get me STARTED on the timelapses, I didn't think my ADHD-having ass would see the day where I was engaged enough to actually want to rewind and watch a building timelapse again but the summoning circle building timelapse was absolute art, the vibes were off the charts

- Yeah actually I'm not done losing my got damn mind over the acting yet. How. Why. Who gave him the right. I just watched episode 30 and now I'm here Feeling Things on a Wednesday morning like sir this is MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY how are you out here solo weaving a better corruption arc than I've seen out of mainstream cinema in years, the reaction to the death prophecy at the beginning, the ENTIRE THING WITH PEARL - my HEART -

So uh. Consider watching Mythicalsausage.* Thank you for your time

*if themes of predicted death, possession, violence, general existential dread, memory loss, and/or audio glitching tend to bother you maybe steer clear though, I'd describe the levels of all of that as solidly "less than you'd expect from a TV show with those warnings but more than you'd expect from a Minecraft video" so stay safe kids :]

[oifaaa]

Umm… what are tumblr balls?

Tumblr reblog balls

[inukag]

hi there 👋 love your blog.

started to rewatch inuyasha recently and I've been wondering why inuyasha wanted to lie on Kagomes lap in Ep.13 and if there was a specific reason for it?

Well first of all, he was in a lot of pain and half-conscious because of the poison, so he obviously wanted to be more comfortable. Kagome was being really sweet, gently using her handkerchief on his forehead, so he probably felt like there was the right mood for him to "make a move".

But most importantly: he wanted to be closer to her because of her scent. He's in his human form and his sense of smell is not as good as usual, so he wanted to be physically closer to her in order to smell her properly. You can even see him turning his head towards her when he complimented her scent:

Inuyasha is half-dog demon so obviously smells are important to him, and Kagome's scent in particular brings him relief. We've seen examples of him being completely entranced by Kagome's gentle scent in the series:

He's obsessed with her scent.

But what's also significant about this scene, is the fact that Kagome's tears brought him relief. Inuyasha was in a vulnerable position, being human and injured, which is probably something that happened to him several times in the past. Except this time, he had this girl by his side who refused to run away and leave him behind, cried for him, and took care of him. This was the first time since his mother's death where he felt like like someone would mourn him if he died. In one of Inuyasha's pages in manga profiles book it says: "When [Kagome's] tears were shed for him, with their gentle scent bringing relief he feels he has found his place as a protector above all else. Contact with Kagome heals the deep loneliness in his soul".

So that is why Inuyasha was so lovey-dovey with her in this scene. This was the beginning of Kagome healing his heart, and the beginning of Kagome becoming "the warmth that Inuyasha wants to protect".

[stardustedknuckles]

If you're out there stressing about how you haven't connected with campaign 3 yet, I would remind you we didn't know shit about the Nein at this point in the story and we jumped into Vox Machina well into an established dynamic. This is still very much brand new. Give it time to breathe. Campaign two arguably kicked off properly with Molly dying, the fallout of which took until episode 30 to really begin finding its way. And we didn't even really know that at the time - it became much clearer later how much of a connective instance that was.

Of course you're not going to bond immediately to a whole new group less than 20 episodes in and if you did with VM or the Nein, just know that's typically an anomaly. People grow into these things. With them, even.

[emmet-appreciation]

Congratulations! You have attracted my Emmet's attention too! He also just wanted to say hello :D its rlly cool that youre system-friendly 👍👍 sorry if this is a lot comin at ya law. Keep being awesome

🚝opinions on lagtrain by Inabacumori

Ahh- I’m being visited by so many fictives ;w;!! This makes me really happy, ya’ll are the bessst 🥺🙏  // I decided to take a shot at drawing your emmet, too! I hope he doesn’t mind ehe, this probably would’ve been a lot better if I didn’t have this stinkin art block ;w;

Ohohoh 👀👀🙏 and Hi Emmet! 👋👋  I really really reaaaaaaaally love Lagtrain, actually (the melancholic melody captured my attention, but after my brother told me the name of the song I absolutely feel in love with it haha ;w;). I even sent an ask to @/chipsncookies awhile back because I just. Heavily. Heavily associate this song with PLA. Which only made me even more obsessed with the song (oops). I’ve been trying not to listen to it so much because I know if I keep listening to it I’ll get bored of it eventually. And then I won’t be able to make that animatic I’ve been planning :<

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

31 or 58 with Saeyoung x reader? If you’re feeling like it of course :)

things you were afraid to say

it would be my pleasure! (I chose 58) for some context, this is set after the cockroach call :) it's a scene I have imagined writing for a very long time so I'm happy to take this opportunity to do so.

707/Luciel Choi/Saeyoung Choi x gender-neutral reader | Words: 1184 | prompt list

'Here, sit here. It's weird to be on the phone when we're this close. I'll hang up now.'

The chemical smell of pesticide was still lingering, ever so slightly, in the tense air. The room was filled with only your quiet sniffles, which seemed to echo and reverberate through his very soul, shaking his heart violently in his ribcage.

You felt a slight heat on your face, partly shame from letting him see you in such a state, partly a hint to the tingle of warmth you felt as he held your hands in his own, stroking gentle, calloused thumbs over your skin in an attempt to comfort you. It dawned on you that this was the closest he'd voluntarily allowed you to be to each other since he first arrived at the apartment and you couldn't help but want to savour the moment, even as you sobbed.

The cockroach had startled you, sure, but you prayed Seven wouldn't sense the bottled up emotions in the stream of your twinkling tears, feel the piled up stress in the frantic beating of your heart. The last week had given you a surplus of reasons to feel anxious, scared, frustrated… and being practically ignored by someone you'd quickly come to care for so truly, so deeply — though you got a sense for why he did it — well, it hurt.

You were tired. Tired of smiling and staying strong and positive in this situation and knowing that, though this mess spiralled deeper than you knew and had been woven far before you entered the picture (or the chatroom, if you will), it was true that you'd made a careless decision and gotten yourself into it. And your fears and problems paled in comparison to what Seven had been through. The last thing you wanted to do was add to his burden — you already felt bad for breaking down now.

It was almost funny in a way; hiding behind smiles appeared to be something you had in common.

It seemed you had only seen the tip of the iceberg, and there was so much more to this person that you were only beginning to understand; feeling cautiously along the jagged edges and the cracks in the ice for whatever else you could uncover. You were manoeuvring through chilled wind with numb limbs (oh, but your heart and your mind and your soul were rapid and awake and alive). And yet as you dipped deeper into what he claimed to be lethally icy water, you found warmth. And you couldn't quite tell now what was ice and what wasn't because your heart felt so undeniably, inexplicably warm that surely you would melt away. And so you didn't feel the cold so much.

But you were still exhausted.

And so you let him hold on to you, craving his warmth, and you clung to him like a lifeline. Ah, and he had been keeping you alive and safe throughout this entire situation ever since you entered the mysterious messenger, and it occurred to you that in this particular instance he'd rushed to your aid yet again, hastening to protect you from a far lesser threat; saving you all the same.

You could take care of yourself but allowing yourself this vulnerability and closeness at times was nice. Comforting. Something you longed for him to be able to have too.

'Hey, just breathe for me, okay?' He began stroking your hair slowly, as if testing the waters himself, hesitant as to whether he was allowed to do so. You tried to slow your shaky breathing and leaned into his touch, which must have reassured him somewhat as he continued to card his slender fingers through your hair.

Not wanting to meet his eyes, you buried you face into his shirt instead.

He froze momentarily before sighing. 'God, what am I going to do with you?' he whispered, still stroking the top of your head.

Slowly, he moved your head, tilting your face towards his concerned gaze slightly while letting a hand move from your hair to just barely graze the side of your face.

‘I can’t bear to see you cry, please…’

‘Sorry, I’m sorry,’ you sniffed.

‘No no- it’s okay. I’m sorry you felt like you had to stay silent because of me, even though you were afraid.’ He squeezed your hands again. His tone was soft and his eyes were earnest, warm and molten like honey, but he couldn’t hold your gaze for long before he looked down at his — and your — hands again.

‘...It’s… my fault, isn’t it? That you’re crying.’

‘W- what?’

‘There’s more to it, right?’

‘No — don’t worry I mean — I just.. really don’t like cockroaches,’ you stuttered.

Seven was quiet for a moment. He didn’t seem to fully believe you but he didn’t push it.

‘People like me are a lot worse than cockroaches.’

You couldn’t help a small smile. ‘If you were a bad person, you wouldn’t be trying to comfort me right now.’

Your smile was like sun rays breaking through the rain clouds. Your tears had stopped falling; you wiped them from your face. He felt a little proud of himself. Then immediately guilty and mortified as he acknowledged the intimacy of your current position.

‘Not to sound rude, but don’t get used to it,’ he said, refusing to properly meet your eyes. He didn’t think he would be able to take it if he did for too long. Too long being any more than a few seconds because that was all it took to be sucked in completely. How could he distance himself from you when he thought he could see swirling galaxies in your eyes? ‘I’ll be gone soon…’ he trailed off. You frowned but didn’t protest. You didn’t have it in you to argue.

He let go of your hands. Yours felt cold with the loss of touch.

‘Um.. will you be okay now?’ You nodded.

Seven stood up and reached out a hand to help you up as well. You couldn’t help but note a strength you didn’t expect from him as he pulled you easily to your feet.

No sooner had you risen than he swiftly let go of your hand and turned away, seeking out his corner of the room. He looked back one final time and gave you a lopsided half-smile. ‘Just let me know if there’s something you need to say but only if it’s serious, alright?’

‘Ok. Thank you, Seven.’

‘Oh.. ‘course…’

And then he was gone again, retreating to his little makeshift fortress with his 1s and 0s and strings of coloured numbers and letters that made little to no sense to you. And you let him. You were too mentally and emotionally exhausted in the moment to think of any reasonable excuse to keep him from running away to his solitude once again, so you let him.

But this time, it was different. Something had changed. You were as certain now that he didn’t want to hurt you as you were that ice was able to thaw.

Now, you were hopeful.

[bleaksqueak]

the new chapter feels very diffrent so far against the previous one are you retconning a start over with new name and new characters like the children and the new girl? no complaint its interested so far just wanted to know if its retconning.

Hey hey! Nope, no retcon is happening. Chapter 0 was always planned to follow Lyra, and then swap to the younger cast at chapter 1. It definitely feels a bit different, though! Starting in high key colors with a very upbeat character absolutely has a lot of contrast against the gloomier start of chapter 1, so I think you nailed that assessment! It was intentional, and why chapter 0 gets progressively darker once it nears its end point. Chp 0 is kind of the odd little moment right now of everything posted lol, the prologue is pretty dark/intense, sudden bright pop of chp 0! And now we're back in a moment of gloom.

But, yea! I won't say too much ofc, but you will see a lot of the faces from chapter 0 again. I think Lyra is probably very, very important to the story, but who can say? Bradley? Anyway, we all know the most significant thing is that the centaur guy shows back up soon.

(Ty, btw!)

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watched episode one of SNW, in love with everyone. Two thoughts only: If I was about to have sex with my hot Vulcan wife and my boss called me to go into work I’d simply quit. If I was running for my life after being abducted by aliens and Uhura said “Hi~!” to me I’d also completely forget about any danger and talk to her about whatever she wanted.

[incorrect-koh-posts]

Can i ask how the hell should I use live journal? Like It's so confusing. Can you hint me something?

Hi :) Of course you can ask, I'm always happy to help! And I get you, livejournal is a bit archaic and hard to navigate. But once you understand the system, you're actually able to find stuff 😁

So, since it's me you're asking, I assume you're hunting for the old KoH fanfics from 2005. I'd recommend either googling something like "KoH fanfiction livejournal" OR simply going to the livejournal site and then using the search bar there (I'm reasonably sure it's somewhere in the top right corner).

With the search function, I wouldn't search for just "Kingdom of Heaven", because in that case livejournal hits you with everything that has that combination of words in it, which is a whole bloody lot (including some weird religious shit of the sort that also shows up regularly in our tumblr tag).

Instead, what I did to find those fics was to search for names of certain characters. Since most of them are quite unique, you'll already get decidedly fewer hits and will probably find some fic or other relatively quickly. What you can do as well is search for two character names (e.g. "balian king baldwin" or some such), which will also limit the field a little more. You'll probably still have some movie reviews or whatever among the hits, but it'll make it much easier to filter out what you were looking for.

There are I think two (?) groups I know of that most fics were posted to: one is koh_slash_fic and the other one is heavens_kingdom (which also has other stuff about the film in there, not just fics). Then there's also the_lepic, which is ... well, I suppose you can guess from the name - mostly slightly strange but amusing Baldwin smut. But there are some non-smutty and rather funny fics there as well: I remember a cracky one about Tiberias discovering that Baldwin IV likes to knit in his free time with particular fondness. That one was a hoot. 😂

Fair warning though: You might want to be a bit careful with livejournal nowadays, since it's owned by a Russian company. I'm not a tech nerd by any means, but I'd recommend at least using a VPN when hanging around on such sites. Can't be careful enough.

Also: The stories you're going to find are from the eeeeaaarly days of the KoH fandom - some of the fics were written even before the film was released. So a lot of this stuff is basically "omg Orlando Bloom as Balian is so hot, let's ship him with every available male character in the film, including his own father". And I mean, to each their own, but that's not really my thing. (Incest, that is. I love a good M/M fic as much as anybody.) Generally, there are many more PWPs on livejournal than on AO3 or FFnet. And the M/M ships sometimes have ... interesting takes on characterisation, especially in regard to Baldwin, who often comes across as oddly feminine. Which isn't to say these stories are bad, they're just very different from the somewhat newer stuff on AO3 or FFnet, where you usually see (female) OC x Canon Character pairings and surprisingly little slash. But I'm sure you'll find something to your taste!

Oh boy, this escalated quickly. I'm sorry for being so long-winded, dear anon, but I hope this helps! 😊