#i'm going on vacation so i don't have that much time to start drama today xD

[theminecraftbee]

being in true sexyman nostalgia mode today (on account of. IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR BABY.) i think one of the most fascinating things about it is that we will never manage to do that again. like, not in a "we couldn't organize it better" way; there were better ways to do the spreadsheet, we would just turn off comments on posts and anon asks from day one so that we wouldn't then get people accusing us of censorship while we tried and failed to control the tide of things that ended up in the comments and inbox, we'd definitely have a WAY higher non-hermit contingent, both thanks to qsmp and thanks to the sexyman blog and medusa now having MUCH wider reach to other corners of the fandom and the original spread not all rooting at me, etc.

but the reason we couldn't do it again is that i don't know if we could ever replicate the exact circumstances that lead to it blowing up quite to the extent it blew up.

it was while tumblr polls and doing tumblr poll brackets on tumblr itself was still new-ish, and people were still excited about them. the idea of a mcytblr bracket was basically brand new; i won't claim we did it FIRST (because i have no idea if we did and doubt we did), but certainly we did it big first. so there's that; we can never again invent in real time "shit people are sending us threats about fraud lets legalize fraud because its funny, we can't stop it, and that neutralizes that drama as a thing anyone will take seriously", and then in turn accidentally invent a fandom culture of. um. wide-spread voter fraud.

(i don't know if we should apologize for, uh, causing the specific way mcytblr voter frauds. i still think it was better than the alternative at least, especially after seeing how so many other polls crashed and burned after us. there were MANY things we could have done better but i have seen SO MANY ways we could have done things worse since then so i think we came out looking pretty okay.)

but also: february 2023 was a very different time in mcytblr. we were in a hermitcraft dead period, where most of the hermits were either on vacation or playing tcg (which was fun, but didn't end up generating that much fandom activity by that time in february). the former dsmp crew was very much doing Nothing (and in that awkward space when the entire fandom knew dsmp 2 was never happening, but also people were still claiming it would happen, so it was just... busy waiting). qsmp didn't exist yet. there was no ongoing life series and wouldn't be for some time. i think even the dominioners and lifestealers were in a fairly dead zone. there was very little new for people to be excited about, mcyt content-wise.

enter: our poll. our poll which cleo then thinks its funny to call out on twitter. our poll, which was not only new mcyt content for the fandom to interact with (thanks to the fact we KEPT GETTING CC INTERACTIONS???), but participatory.

for about two weeks, we were the mcyt event de jour.

and like. the thing is. now we're in february 2024. mcyt is BOOMING. a new hermitcraft season JUST STARTED. we came off of vault hunters before that. meanwhile, qsmp just restarted and is, if i'm understanding correctly, booming. they just added a new guy! the two current juggernauts of the fandom are in FULL SWING. i honestly think we'd be somewhat overtaken by the fact things are actually happening in fandom. there's stuff to do that ISN'T go insane about a poll.

and it's not new, and we've seen it all before now, and frankly, it's hard to cause a mass hysteria event TWICE. lightning in a bottle, as they say.

i think part of the reason we all just REMEMBER mcytblr sexyman so much is that we could never, ever recreate it, so it remains crystalized in a single moment in time, impossible to replicate, forever memorable.

anyway: HAPPY ONE YEAR TO THE JOE HILLS SWEEP BABY,

[esmedelacroix]

31 days til' Christmas

ice skating date with miguel o'hara ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Being the head, brains, back, legs, basically the foundation of the spider society had its quirks along with many shortcomings. Shortcomings like Miguel coming back home to his sweet baby either too tired to do anything or all battered up. When you had insisted that he take a vacation for the holidays his immediate answer was, "No, I'm sorry cariño[honey], I would love to spend time with you but the fate of the multiverse—" he started as he put his hands on your shoulders.

"Miguel, that's not going to work this time. I already called Jess and Peter and they can cover for you. I also got a bunch of other spiders in on this so they can cover the other ten-thousand jobs you take care of. So you don't have a choice, mister, your vacation starts today," you said sternly. Miguel loved it when you took charge of him like this. Every once in a while he was reminded of the reason why you're the only person who has ever put up with him this far. Everyone may be scared of Miguel at work, but boy was he scared of you(in the best way possible).

He couldn't deny that being able to overpower him was one of your most attractive points as well as one of his biggest turn-ons. He snaked his hands around your waist and nuzzled his head in your neck peppering kisses all over. “Thank you, mami," he muttered into your neck.

"You’re very welcome, ya' big baby," you teased. He chuckled before pulling away and taking in your beauty.

"I know this is supposed to be a break but I want to take you out somewhere, get some cozy clothes on," he said urging you to get in the bedroom to change. You gave him a suspicious look but soon after skipped into the bedroom excited about this mystery date he was taking you on.

After you got yourself ready you found Miguel there waiting for you on the couch. "Estás tan guapa, mi amor[You look so beautiful, my love]," he praised marveling at your beauty.

"Gracias[thanks]," you chirped as you took his hand. The two of you went into the car that Miguel had already heated for the two of you. Always so considerate, you thought to yourself as you gawked at him like the two of you were teenagers again.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked oblivious to how sexy he looked when he drove.

"Oh nothing, I'm just thinking about how handsome my husband looks while driving," you quipped earning a huge grin from Miguel.

"Oh yeah?" he chuckled.

"Hell yeah," you replied before gasping suddenly. Miguel was amused at your sudden discovery of the date he had planned. You were pulling into the ice skating rink at Rockafella. One of Nueva York's main tourist attractions during the holidays.

When Miguel parked and opened your door for you after getting out of the car, you pounced on him wrapping your arms around his neck, showering his face with kisses. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," you squealed in excitement unable to contain your ecstatic joy.

One thing about you is that you loved ice skating with the perfect view of the Christmas lights of Nueva York. It was a family Christmas tradition you talked to Miguel about every year; the two of you just never found the time to do it together. Your burst of excitement was not so much because you loved being here, but because you were so happy to be sharing the experience with Miguel.

The two of you rented out ice skates and hit the ice. Miguel didn't let go of your hand once. He placed your hand in his pocket to keep you close and warm. You skated around the ring and talked about everything under the moon. Miguel talked your ear off about the procedures he's been running in his lab and how much he hates Hobie(he loves him, he just doesn't want to admit it). Afterward, you talked his ear off about all the drama happening between the friend groups you were both a part of.

As you skated and chatted, you took it upon yourself to show Miguel your cool tricks from back when you used to figure skate. You spun and twirled and even attempted a single salchow for him that looked great in the air but you did land on your bum. Miguel immediately rushed to your aid trying to hold back laughter and failing.

After he got you on your feet you chased him around the rink as fast as you could. Once you caught up with him you playfully hit his chest. "Why'd you laugh? That salchow was beautiful, I just didn't stick the landing," you nagged pinching at little spots on his arms, play fighting with him.

"Sorry, you just looked too cute for your own good," he chucked finally getting a hold of your hands holding them away and giving you a quick smooch. "C'mon chica, let's get some hot cocoa," he suggested as they left the rink and walked up to the lady operating the stand.

"¿Puedo comprar dos chocolates calientes? Para mi esposa, por favor, añade muchos malvaviscos[Can I buy two hot chocolates? For my wife, please add many marshmallows]," he asked as he pulled you into his side to share his warmth.

The two of you had your hot cocoa walking around Rockafella. Miguel teased you while you geeked out about this year’s Rockafella tree. After a successful date at the ice rink, despite your major fail, you were completely satisfied with your night.

“Thank you for taking me out hon’,” you whispered as you played with his hair while his head rested in your lap. The two of you opted to watch a holiday movie before bed.

“Thank you for helping me realize I need a break, I love spending time with you baby, you’re my world,” he muttered.

As you lay in bed together that night, you couldn’t but feel an overwhelming sense of happiness that Miguel was finally home one night, and here to stay.

[anaoyuo]

Play With The Stars || deleted scenes

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Gojo Satoru x f!reader

summary: Literally just Gojo and you being horny on your beach vacation

notes: Another scene from adg that I’ve found. Originally from chapter 17, I ended up cutting it out for multiple reasons. One, the word count was already crazy. Two, the argument here was kinda unnecessary. And three, I thought it was too much back-to-back smut, especially since I knew about the threesome with Geto coming up. Sooo, I rewrote the whole thing, made it more romantic and sweet to fit the atmosphere of the rest of the chapter, and this scene here never saw the light until now. Enjoy

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The cooling ocean breeze swept into the room through the large, open windows, brushing past the curtains that fluttered and danced like the buoyant waves of the sea that was so close by.

You shifted on the couch, the phone in your hand failing to keep you entertained for much longer. With a deep exhale, you leaned your head against Gojo's shoulder, who sat right next to you. He, too, seemed to be absorbed in his phone since he didn't react to your gesture at all. 

"Satoru."

"Yes, babe?"

"I'm bored. What are we gonna do today?"

"You."

Confused at his response, your brows knitted together as you blinked up at him. "Me?"

Gojo hummed. "I'm gonna do you," he said dryly, those beautiful cerulean eyes never once leaving the screen.

"Thought that much was clear already," you muttered, heaving another long sigh into the air.

"Great." Gojo's phone suddenly clattered onto the table as he flashed you a grin, his large palm finding its way to your thigh in record time. "So let's start with that."

He barely wasted a second before slipping his hand between your legs, but you were just as quick to intervene, seizing his arm and halting him. 

"Seriously?!"

Hearing the harsh tone in your voice wiped the smirk clean off his face. He braced himself for what was to come next.

"Why can't I ever have a decent conversation with you? It's so annoying."

While you continued to snap at him, he sat there like a scolded child and listened, his tongue poking his cheek as he patiently waited for you to finish.

Gojo really began to wonder if you were doing this on purpose, constantly stressing him out, always arguing and picking fights, all because you knew the makeup sex was worth it. And he fucking hated that he had to enjoy this drama. 

"Can you for once in your goddamn life think with your brain instead of your dick?"

"What the fuck is your problem? Can you explain to me why I am the asshole again?" Gojo retorted, his own voice rising now—the perfect opportunity for you to play the victim.

"I just don't want to spend any more time on this couch, please." You slumped your shoulders and lowered your head. "I thought you'd have plans. This is your house, after all. You know this place better than I do."

"Alright, fine. Let's go shopping later. The promenade's got some cool stores, good food, too. Can we both shut up and fuck now before we end up killing each other over this?"

You shot him a pointed glare, still not convinced. He understood that he needed a different tactic.

"Dearest goddess of beauty, please, might I humbly request to partake of the pleasure of making love to you, oh you most gorgeous and perfect female being?" he asked again as he reached out to stroke your face with exaggerated tenderness.

You wanted to keep pretending to be mad, but your laughter slipped out uncontrollably, as it always did around him. "Okay. Make love to me then, Satoru," you smiled. 

Gojo shared your smile before he tilted his head and captured your lips with his own. He kissed with hunger, and you reciprocated it with just as much, if not more intensity. 

Your hands were all over him, gripping his taut biceps, clinging to his broad shoulders, holding his neck, running through his fluffy hair, fingers tightening in the strands, tugging at them. He did the same, lost in worshipping your figure, squeezing at your waist, your hips, kneading your breasts. 

Gojo pressed you to himself, bringing you closer to sit you on his lap, your body pliant and willing under his guidance. 

Amidst the sighs and kisses in the room, your phone rang suddenly. You drew away a bit, glancing toward the source of the sound. "Someone's calling me."

He couldn't be more unfazed, really. Gojo's mouth was back on your skin in an instant, trailing along your jawline. "Ignore it," he whispered against you, his voice husky. "We're busy."

"What if it's important?" 

"I'm more important."

He did his best to distract you by sucking sweet bites on the sensitive spot under your ear, the one that always got you weak, but his effort was for nothing. 

"I need to answer this," you insisted and gently pushed yourself away from him to rise to your feet.

Gojo let out a dramatic groan. "Yes, go ahead. Just neglect me. It's not like I have feelings, too," he grumbled as he threw his head back on the couch. 

You rolled your eyes at his theatrics and unplugged your phone from the charger. The display was lit by Nobara's name, your thumb swiping to accept her call quickly.

"Hey," you greeted, bringing the phone to your ear.

"Hey, where have you been? You haven't shown up at the office for days." Nobara's concern was audible even through the static of the speaker.

"Oh, I'm fine." You walked back to the couch and settled down beside Gojo. "Just not in the city at the moment," you added. 

"Not in the city? What's going on? Are you sure everything's alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," you reassured, leaning back against the cushions. 

He watched and listened as you gave your colleague some bad excuses for your recent absence from the office. Though initially amused by hearing you stutter some words together, after a while, his interest waned. Gojo was bored again, and terribly so. 

That was when an idea sparked in his mind. 

"Nobara, it's nothing to worry about. I'll tell you everything when we see each other next week." As you spoke, you sensed Gojo's movements on the couch. Your eyes widened when you saw him pulling out his half-hard cock from his boxer briefs. 

With a stupid smirk and his brows raised high, Gojo gestured for you to jerk him off. The sheer audacity had you shocked and a little affronted, and it must have shown on your face because he snorted and broke into a fit of giggles next to you. 

"Oh, so you won't be back in time." Nobara sighed on the other end of the line.

"Back in time for what?" you asked, trying to redirect your focus to the call, even as he grabbed hold of your wrist. 

At this point, it seemed easier to just go along with what he wanted and appease him. So, you did just that, your fingers closing around its girth as you began to mindlessly stroke him. 

As the call continued, Nobara talked about a techno club she wanted to visit with you, where one of her friends would be playing their set. At the same time, Gojo started twirling the lengths of your hair, then he ran his hand through it. 

You should have known it from the moment he started touching you. It was all so obvious where this was headed; slowly and carefully, he guided you downward until his pink tip brushed against your lips, urging you to take action.  

You glared up at him, venom in your gaze—his absolute favorite expression on your face. 

"I had no idea you had a DJ friend," you replied to Nobara, deliberately ignoring Gojo. However, the constant taps of his cock on your cheek made it clear that he wanted your attention in one way or another.

"Oh, I met him a few years back when I was standing outside a club..."

While Nobara spoke, Gojo pushed your head further down, and you gave up on fighting him. It was a battle that you would have lost anyway. 

He had to stifle a groan, his teeth sinking into his lower lip as your warm mouth took him in, your tongue laving over his dick obsessively, as if it was your natural response to always do your best for him. 

"...if you want, I'll ask him if you can join us," she offered. 

You panicked. You hastily pulled back, trying to recall what Nobara had just said. "Uh, sure. Why not," you stammered out.

The second you finished, Gojo plunged his cock right back into your mouth. He bobbed your head up and down in a rhythm of his own making, testing your limits, pushing you to the edge of gagging multiple times before finally releasing you.

Your breath was shortened as you struggled to regain your composure, but Gojo was just getting started with the fun. He motioned for you to lie down. You shook your head vigorously. 

Oh, how he loved playing this game with you.

The way you fought back only to give in was one of the things that turned him on the most. It felt like a small victory every time he got his way with you. 

Gojo pushed you onto your back, and you offered no resistance. Why would you even?

He flipped your dress up, his eyes locking with yours as he teased your thighs with the tip of his tongue, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive flesh near your throbbing core. That was when you tuned out Nobara completely. All your thoughts now dedicated to what Gojo was about to do to your pussy.

Gojo buried his face between your legs, mouth latching onto your cunt, licking at your clit over the fabric of your panties, and each flick sent electric shocks through your body. Your free hand instinctively gripped his hair, seeking something to anchor yourself to. He didn't stop, didn't seem bothered, so you tightened your hold on his white locks even further, holding on for dear life.

"...he works on Fridays, I think, so let's do next Saturday," Nobara suggested, pulling you back to the call. 

"Yeah," you breathed out, a borderline moan. "Next Saturday's fine."

Gojo smiled against you. He was certain your friend must have picked up on it by now, but if not, he would make sure she knew exactly what was happening. 

Pulling your wet panties to the side, Gojo slid two of his long fingers into you. Your eyes snapped open wide as you gasped, loud, way louder than you had anticipated.

"Is everything alright?" Nobara asked.

Gojo pushed you further; the wet noises increased, his tempo a brutal one, which had you shaking and writhing as you tried to twist away from him but failed as his strong arm held your thigh locked in place, forcing you to endure his sweet torture. 

"Nobara... someone's at the door... I need to go," you somehow managed to blurt out. 

"Okay—"

Without even waiting for her to finish her sentence, you abruptly ended the call and threw your phone aside to fully devote yourself to the pleasure, but that didn't last long as Gojo began to slow his pace. 

"You're so lame. You should've talked to her for a bit longer," he said, looking down at you in a way that almost felt mocking.  

"How about we switch roles the next time Suguru calls?" you shot back in your defense. 

He licked his lips, already finding himself drawn to the idea. "Sure. I might even Facetime him." Gojo then leaned down to steal a chaste kiss from your pretty lips. "Just don't complain when I accidentally switch the camera and film you giving me head, yeah?"

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They are my favorite toxic relationship. I can't wait to bring their dynamic back in fg

Full series: ao3

[timeoverload]

I haven't had much to say lately. I go through the same routine pretty much every week. I feel like I am repeating myself over and over. I'm not very exciting. I also figured it's probably best if I stay quiet if I don't have anything positive to say. I don't like complaining all the time. I have been tired and grumpy and I haven't been sleeping enough. I have been doing my best not to project how I'm feeling because I don't want to bother anyone.

Typing is sort of difficult for me right now. I can't tell if my arthritis is flaring up or if I'm developing cubital tunnel syndrome. My right hand and arm hurt really bad right now. It's making it hard for me to get a grip on things. My ring finger and pinky are tingling. My ulnar nerve moves more than it's supposed to and gets trapped sometimes. My elbow snaps a lot when I bend it and it's loud. It has always been an issue for me but I try to deal with it. I don't think the weather is helping. I am going to do my best to ignore it and hopefully it will go away soon. I am doing everything I can to avoid going to the doctor for a while.

I have been busy as usual. My work-load has increased a lot but it always does this time of year. A new eye doctor started recently so I have had a lot more cases than usual. The past few days have been very stressful because we have been installing a new computer system at work and I don't think we prepared enough for it. I have mixed feelings about it. It has changed the way I do my job in some ways. We had been using the same system since I started so it has been a tough change for me. I'm used to having to scan instruments into the autoclaves and stuff but a lot of our documentation was still done on paper and now most of our records will be digital. There used to be a batch sheet that would print out when we would load the autoclaves that would list everything that was in there but now we have to get on the computer to check which can be inconvenient if someone needs that information quickly. I can't just print labels for my cataract pans at the beginning of the day so now I have to do each one individually and it makes it difficult to keep track of which doctor I should be setting up for. Surprisingly I didn't make any mistakes today so I guess that was nice. I understand that the new system is better for tracking and saves paper but it's still annoying and takes more time. I'm glad I'm a fast learner and I know how to use it already but it will still take some time to get used to.

I am happy that I have been able to have some peace in the morning this week since the morning team lead is on vacation. That probably sounds bad but I know that he would have been stressed out if he was at work this week and it's hard to be around him when he's like that. Everyone else has been in a bad mood as it is so I don't need any more drama right now. One of the girls in my department was really upset about something earlier and then she snapped at me when I asked her if she was ok. I didn't do anything to warrant that kind of response. I was just concerned. I am trying not to take it personally but I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to her if she's going to be like that.

I'm a little frustrated because I'm on probation for sick days again and I got a verbal warning so I can't call in for a while. I also don't have any PTO. I don't want to get written up so I'm trying to avoid that. I can't afford to lose my bonus this year because I have so many bills I need to pay right now. I have been having trouble managing my finances as it is.

Maxwell, I really would like to come see you before the 17th but I don't think I am going to be able to. I don't want you to be upset with me. I don't want to wait that long either because I miss you and it's making me sad. I really hate the way things are at the moment but I know it won't always be like this. I wish I could make you happy right now. I'm sorry.

I wish I felt like I had more control over my life. I hope that someday I can get my shit together. I want to be responsible. I don't understand how other people can balance everything without falling apart. I am trying not to complain about stuff but I can't help it.

Overall I suppose this week has been ok despite the circumstances. The schedule tomorrow looks bad for me but I will try to make it a good day anyway. I'm looking forward to the weekend even though I will likely spend most of it in bed trying to feel better. I need to stop typing and give my arm a break for a while because it's starting to bother me a lot. I will probably be up late again because I still have stuff I need to do tonight. I'm going to do my best to get things done quickly so that I can relax for a while before I go to bed.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. I appreciate the nice messages because they make me feel better when I'm down. Thank you all for caring and listening to me. 💖💖💖

[lightvsdark18]

Responses to voicelines (Cater)

Hey, you're looking fab today, as always. Shall we? Actually, before that, why don't we have some tea? It'll be a great photo op.

Sure.

You and I are best buds? LOL! Hey, what's with that face? I'm not saying we're not. I just don't know how to react to a statement like that IRL.

But you didn't have to laugh. You couldn't think up any other way to react?

School Uniform

You free? Same. Sooo, got any hot insights on what's trending?

I have no phone, and even if I did, I don't care about trends. Sorry, Cater.

Ummm, you haven't forgotten that I'm your upperclassman, right?

And you haven't you forgotten I'm older than you, right?

P.E. Uniform

It makes me wanna barf when people are like, "Your sweat glitters like the fountain of youth!" Bro, I'm just tired.

*Laughs* You're speaking the truth on that one.

Fix your collar, quick! Riddle's wandering around, so you better look fresh to death.

But he isn't my dorm leader.

There are a buncha different ways to wear our gym uniforms. Your style isn't half-bad either.

It's just pants and a shirt, not really a style.

Something on your mind? I can't very well ignore a cute underclassman in trouble!

You think I'm cute? (Starry eyes as a joke)

It's not that I'm bad at exercising, I just don't like getting too fired up.

Same.

Labwear

Got any plans for today? If not, I can take you on my Magicam photo op tour.

Hmm, I got nothing. So, I would love a tour.

You seem to have a lot of time on your hands. You sure you don't need to prepare for class?

I'm already prepared. Are you, Cater?

Putting in elbow grease is all well and good, but you need to chillax sometimes, too. Take a leaf from Grimmy's book.

I chillax too much back home. I'm making up for the lost time.

Ceremonial Robes

Huh? More drama happening? There's never a dull moment with you, Prefect.

*Sighs* It's better than it was at home.

We should chat. I bet you've got stories for days.

Yeah, I do. Well, depending if you want fiction or not.

I get it. You can't help but fall all over me. But nobody likes the desperate schtick!

? Are you doing okay, Cater? Do you need a glass of water?

You got a problem on your hands, don'tcha? I mean, I'd go with you even if you didn't. You're always loads of fun.

Aw, now I'm in a good mood.

Dorm Uniform

I'd ask you not to involve me in your problems, but that wouldn't make a bit of difference, would it? You're a real handful. Heh.

....

You rang? How many times does that make this now? You're such a goober. Ha ha.

....

Maybe you should start wearing our dorm uniform on the down-low more often. It looks surprisingly good on you.

(Positive) Does it?

Do you ever get homesick?

... I haven't really thought of it. Having too much fun spending time with you.

It's nice that you've taken a liking to me and all, but… don't I get some respect as your upperclassman?

Don't I get some respect as your senior? Heh. Do you think I don't respect you?

Halloween

Aha! Did I scare you because I look so different from usual?

I was more surprised than scared.

Have you SEEN Lucius today?! He's got the cutest little pumpkin hat. Never would've expected that from Professor Trein.

Do you have pictures?

Happy Halloween! Wanna take a pic for posterity?

Happy Halloween, and yes.

Isn't this black veil so mysterious? You're welcome to lift it and get a peek at the gorgeousness beneath. Ha! JK.

Or I can pretend I'm at a wedding, lifting your veil and go in for a kiss (on the cheek). Just kidding.

You wanna know what Heartslabyul dressed as last year? Pirates! Wanna see my costume?

Yes!

Silk Adorned

Is that spicy street food I spy? I'm a total spice fiend, so I can't miss out on that.

You remind me of my brother.

Vacations rule. Doesn't it feel liberating to be surrounded by complete strangers?

Eh.

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 28: Five Things

I was going to write today but then I procrastinated way too long and now it's late and I need to get SOME sleep. It's always so easy when you're just thinking hypothetically of putting words on the page. Then it's impossible. Then you actually do it and it's not that bad! A constant cycle. I'm pretty down about it because of how my vacation worked out. Well anyway, maybe tomorrow.

New furniture for the reading room has finally started to come in. We only finished clearing it in June. I don't know, I'm so upset about pretty much every aspect of this project, I'll always be hurt by it, it doesn't even matter if it turns out "okay in the end." Also, even though the furniture I saw looked interesting, it's, first, not stacks, which is what I think should be in the room, second, completely unrelated to the otherwise coherent style of the library, and third, possibly still awful depending on the Texture of the items, which is yet to be determined.

I'm trying to re-organize, yet again, for no real reason, my writing projects--this time primarily because I want a Physical Object to flip through. Anyway this is going pretty well so far except I'm realizing that I have old notes I can't find... and I can only assume they're handwritten in some old notebook (old = anything pre-plague) and I am just... ugh, how will I find them? I need a secretary.

I've been trying to get myself together for these last three weeks (three weeks only!!) of work before my two week vacation, which mostly involves various lists. And a calendar! I feel like half the stuff that's supposed to be on the work agenda simply won't happen, but that it will also be beyond my control. Trying not to have any feelings about that. My stuff is mostly figuring out gifts.

Yet again the mail room/library mail area situation is causing Vague Drama around me. I hate to be this person but I think literally everyone involved in this, and also the Dean, who is not involved but who I do ultimately blame tbqh, should get in a room for an hour and pool information/assumptions because the communication is so absolutely wretched that this stupid af thing is still causing headaches months after I first predicted it would cause headaches. Look, I love being vindicated (love it!) but when people have passive aggressive fights and I end up in the middle it is less fun. And it's getting old. I canNOT believe how much breath I have wasted on something that sounds as stupid as it is: the fucking mail.

[honeybittersweet]

I HAVE NEWSSSSS (gossip about my life if you will)

Okey so yall don't know shit about this but last year I had A LOT of drama going on and all of that ended up with me finally deciding to cut off ties with a friend, because of a lot of mistreatment towards me, mixed signals, and feeling deeply hurt.

We went our separate ways in September of last year, we study the same degree so we have the same classes and all, anyways, when vacations started in November I didn't see her again until March when we went back to college. The first week even the mere thought of seeing her in class made me wanna throw up. It made anxious, my body was trembling, my hands got sweaty, my heart pounded way too fast, my brain got dizzy, there was a knot in my stomach and looking at her made my heart hurt, and tbh the list could go on and on and on. So the second day I felt this when I saw her, I instantly texted TWO psychologists and signed up at the gym, bc I wasn't going to let her have this power over my emotions and body reactions.

Ofc eventually I gave up the gym thing bc I didn't have time for it, but I kept going to the psychologist I had chosen. I talked about her a lot til I didn't have anything else to say. There were up and downs during those times when I would relapse into justifying her actions and feel sorry for her, but then again I'd remind me of my worth and focus again on myself.

I was scared of when I would have to talk to her again eventually bc we do a lot of group activities and sometimes they're selected by professors. I was scared of how my body and my heart would react. Today was the day and it was amazing.

I felt nothing. I was comfortable in my own skin, my voice didn't shake, I could hold the stare. It was amazing. I didn't even bat an eye at her voice, I didn't care about how she looked, or how she talked to me. It was like talking to any other classmate, it felt so good.

I'm so happy bc finally I'm at the other side of the process, I've healed so much since last June when everything happened and changed so much since March. God, I know past me would be so proud and content of finally being free of that constant anxiety she made me feel. I'm so happy.

[zombielovescore]

I guess because it's late and I have been feeling a lot of emotions today, I'm in a ranting/rambling mood. I have also been drinking (a bit) and I have to take my cat in for dental surgery early tomorrow AND THAT IS ALSO STRESSING ME OUT because she is my child - but I am having thoughts about family.

Families are fucking messy. I don't know or understand why, but they are fucking messy stupid little things. And they shouldn't be, but they are.

I don't even know where I want to go with this post. I just have a lot of thoughts, but don't really know how to formulate any of them.

Like, you'd think a family would be a strong bond of unity between people of famial blood - and a lot of things tell you that it should be. Like, you hear that stupid addage of "blood is thicker than water" - nevermind that there is actually more to the quote, but that's not the point. Families are supposed to be a cohesive unit; they're supposed to work together, but does anyone actually have a family that isn't completely dysfunctional?

When I was growing up, I never knew anyone from my dad's side of the family. My dad left home when he was 18 and joined the army and married a Catholic girl that his parents didn't approve of - this was like the late '50s (for context: my father was much older than my mother - this woman was not my mother) and basically never really spoke to any of his siblings from that point on. My dad's parents died long before I was born. My dad had 3 daughters I had never met, and I only met 2 of them after my father had died. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will probably never meet the last one. I only met my dad's siblings after the only sibling of his I had contact with (again, after he died) died herself and I went to fucking Brantford, Ontario to go to her funeral. This is also where I met the second sister, as only one had come to Calgary for my dad's service.

So, in comparison, my mom's family seemed really fucking functional. I can't say I grew up with my cousins or my grandparents (my mom's side) because I did not. They all lived in the great lakes area of Ontario and we were in Alberta (also, I find it hilarious that both my parents are from Ontario but they both ended up in Calgary, of all places) but when I was young we would go out there every couple of summers and sometimes some of them would come visit us. Yadda, yadda. So I had my cousins, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, and it was great - we will ignore the fact that I had an uncle I didn't like for reasons I will not get into here, but let's just say he's part of the current family drama, so quelle suprise there.

And I guess when you are a kid, you don't notice the drama going on around you. Because, why would you? Going to Ontario to visit the family was the absolute best. You had your grandparents, your favourite aunt and uncle, you got to swim at the lakes in cottage country- it was fucking awesome.

Anyways, drama llama, fast forward years later, and you start to learn shit you didn't know. You now know things about people who you thought were absolute paragons of Great People. And this sounds omnious, like I'm leading up to a horrible family secret and I'm really not, but you learn that people, even your family, kind of suck.

None of this really came to light until I was in my mid-20s and my grandfather was dying. We had long since stopped "family summer vacation" because all us kids (my mom's kids) were adults and working and it just wasn't a thing anymore. So, whatever, my mom was there, I went there because at the time I was at a job that would actually let me have time off, one of my brothers was living in Ottawa at the time, so he was there. My grandfather died, we had the funeral, and then shit hit the fan.

So, my mother and her brother, were the POAs of financial and medical, respectively, for my grandparents. My mom's oldest sister was absolutely pissed she was not the POA of my grandfather's financials. My mother is a registered accountant, which is why her father chose her. Apparently, this rubbed my aunt the wrong way. Also, apparently, the reason the same said sister was not chosen as POA for health was because my grandfather thought that she would basically let my grandmother die. So, yes, my grandfather, my eldest aunt's very own father, did not chose her as POA for health because he thought she'd let her own mother die, because apparently (according to my mother) she didn't like her. I feel like that says a lot, but nevermind. So, when my grandfather died - my aunt was beyond pissed, and they (being the aunt, her husband- the one I don't like - and her daughter) tried to force their way into my grandparent's house (which my uncle was living in at the time, but owned by my mom) to look through his stuff. And later, this same aunt decided to get my other aunt into a pact where they decided they would not speak to my mom - this was over money. They were mad because apparently they thought my mom was hiding all the assets, completely disregarding the fact that everything went to my grandmother until she died (I am happy to report at this time, almost 7 years later, she is 94 years old and still going strong - if very addled with dementia. She may not know who anyone is, but god damn if that woman can't find a way to escape the locked dementia ward of a senior's home).

So, the short of that is two of my mother's sisters decide to simply stop speaking to her because of money issues that were not even hers to control, other than she had to act according to the will seeing as that's basically how wills work. This was exacerbated by aforementioned least favourite uncle (also said aunt's husband, which I think I mentioned) - who, I learned after the fact, was a complete asshole to my grandfather, and also who basically spent my grandfather's reception at the Legion in Trenton getting drunk with his friends instead of actually spending time with the grieving family - I didn't read too much into it at the time because I was, you know, grieving, as people do at funerals.

So, fast forward now and my mother and one of her sisters have since made up, because her husband had ALS and was actively dying - this is the uncle who is passing away in a few days. The eldest aunt my my mom are still not on speaking terms. But basically, fuck them. If she and TerribleUncle Whom I Have Never Liked want to continue to be assholes, I have suffered no loss.

Anyways, I have learned a lot about my aunt, who my mother is now speaking to, and my uncle who is currently dying in the last few years. These used to be my favourite aunt and uncle. My uncle, in particular, would always take us out on the lake in his boat and it was so awesome. We would go and collect lilypads and bring them back to shore. I absolutely loved this guy. And I still do, honestly, because it's hard to reconcile the people you knew them as with the people you learn that they are. But I learned that both of them actively emotionally abused their eldest daughter and would treat her like shit, while their youngest daughter could basically never do anything wrong. This is why she left home and basically never came back.

I never knew any of this until my mom told me, and I'm one of the only people who still keeps in contact with this cousin, and though she doesn't actively say anything about it, I've learned a lot from her responses and about how in the dark she was about her dad's diagnosis. Literally no one, not her mom, not her dad, not her sister was taking to her. And it took her dad, several years after receiving a terminal diagnosis, when he was actively in full decline, to finally reach out to her and tell her that he was dying. And even now, when he is literally receiving medical assistance to die in a day, he was the only one who bothered to reach out and tell her. Her mother, my aunt, didn't call her, her sister didn't call her. And like, that's a level of fucked up I can't even begin to comprehend. I don't particularly get along with my older brother, but I still fucking called him when my dad died.

And this post really got away from me and it is absolutely way too long and rambling, but I guess the basic gist of it is, is that even if you think your family isn't horrible and dysfunctional, it turns out that they kind of are???

And y'all, we haven't even gotten into the literal novel I could write about the dysfunction of my immediate family.

And I guess if anyone has actually read this and has a burning desire to know, the reason I dislike that particular uncle is because when I was a kid (like 4) he almost set me on fire (unintentional, probably), but also I have a very vivid memory of when I was like maybe 9 and we were at their house in Ajax and I was arguing with my brothers about something (I don't remember what), but I remember they were in the other room and I was sitting at a computer desk and I said something (probably some dumb kid thing), and this fucking man burst into the room and fucking slapped me, very hard, across the face until I cried (intentional, definitely). He did not do the same to my brothers, who were also saying some dumb stupid kid things. And that basically coloured every interaction I've had with him since and made me wonder if he slapped his own daughter that way. (Probably not, because she is an entitled princess). And basically, you don't slap your own child that way, let alone somebody else's.

[laufire]

🔥 supernatural

To name a few unpopular opinions, because why not:

-I don't care much for Charlie. She's fine, she has a couple of nice moments (that "promise?" when Dean warns her of how dangerous going to Oz would be, the scene with Rowena). But she's EXTREMELY proppy wrt ~the brotherly bond~~ and I. do. not. care. LOL. Also, she has this whole, dudebro/one of the guys/ChadTM attitude that really grates on me. AND she's supposed to be this ultimate nerd but apparently the show could only come with the most basic stuff lol.

-I don't care for Benny either. HOW can you make a vampire pirate so boring. Explain it to me, Carver. I'm waiting. Kudos to him for still recognizing his new bestie Dean was a shit to women (how could that have come up in Purgatory keeps me up at night. Did he try to bro-talk Benny. Did he let out all his misogyny against female monsters. Who knows) and wanting him away from his great-granddaughter LOL.

-Speaking of others "fandom finds this proppy character very easy to like" ones: I outright dislike Victor Henriksen. First of all, in many ways he's Dean in cop, when about one of Dean's sexiest traits is how dismissive he's about cops in the early seasons xD. The comment about his multiple ex-wifes and alimony made me side-eye him too ngl. But most of all, it was his reaction to Ruby's proposed spell.

Basically, they're all trapped in the police station surrounded by demons (Henriksen, the workers, Sam and Dean, and now Ruby who made her way through to help). Ruby offers to perform a spell that would kill every demon nearby, HERSELF included. Dean and Henriksen are 100% fine with this, obviously.

BUT. Then the spell needs another sacrifice: a virgin. And it so happens that this sweet young woman working in the station is one, and although scared, she says she agrees to it to save everyone else. Dean and Henriksen find this UNACCEPTABLE. "We'll protect her", says Henriksen all paternalistically when Ruby asks what the hell does he thinks the demons would do to Nancy if they catch her (spoiler alert, they killed them all very, very slowly and painfully). He even dares to say that if they let Nancy go through her sacrifice they're no better than the demons ñaslfkjasfl. You sure were fine with RUBY, a demon offering to sacrifice herself for you, dying! Maybe she should've said she was a virgin too, hmm? Asshole.

And yeah, yeah, Ruby turned out to be evil, this would've then been some major manipulation tactics, blah blah. I don't care! a.) I'm not sure that was the plan for Ruby in s3, tbh -not set in stone at least; and b.) Henriksen (and Dean!) sure didn't know anything about it. How they dealt with the situation still matters. So, yeah. I don't like Henriksen. And it's mighty hypocrite of Dean (although really, really funny xD) to critizice Chuck-slash-God on his Virgin-Whore complex a couple seasons later LMAO.

(sns for the rant, I rewatched the episode recently for editing purposes and my rage came to me again lol)

-One more because why not: "After School Special" flashback-Dean >>>>>> "Bad Boys" flashback-Dean. Sorry, but the later is so proper and boring and zzzzzzzzz. The first one would win just by virtue of not being a jock. They were going for the easy wangst with the later and I wasn't into it, tbh. I also like that "ASS" (LOL) doesn't shy away from Dean's unpalatable traits. AND that I can see my forever girl Caroline Forbes publically humiliating him xDD

[esmedelacroix]

18 days til' Christmas

attending diavolo's christmas dinner party with boyfriend!barbatos ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

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Your afternoons were usually spent at Diavolo's castle baking with Barbatos, but today was different because it was Christmas, the most happiest time of the year.

Barbatos was prepping for a big dinner party and you, the seven brothers, the angels, and friends were all invited. That entire group mixed together meant chaos but you and Barbie enjoyed watching all the drama go down anyway.

You were just about to get ready when you realized that you had no idea what to wear. You were on the verge of panicking when you remembered you literally lived down the hall from Asmodeus.

You burst through his door immediately. "Asmo I need help picking out my outfit please come to my room.

"Do you know how to knock?" Asmo asked sarcastically as he admired his nails. He had just painted them in his iconic teal and pink.

"Please Asmo, I don't have time for this get in my room," you demanded rolling your eyes.

"Goodness, looks like someone's eager to get me in their bed," he muttered under his breath smiling to himself.

"I heard that! You're not funny," you snapped.

Oh whatever, what's got your panties in a twist?" he asks as he immediately walks to your closet throwing clothes he doesn't approve of on the ground.

"I just want to look perfect tonight. I haven't seen Barbatos since I got back from Earth from my two , month-long vacation. I want to look great for him," you admitted.

"Well you're not going to look great with this on," he joked as he pulled out a crazy dress that you owned from last Easter.

You chuckled at his stupid joke before sitting at your vanity to start your makeup.

"Um put that brush down. You asked me for help so I'm going to be in charge of your whole look," Asmo explained as he finally pulled out the most beautiful open-back cream-colored bodycon maxi dress.

"Oh my god, I own that?" You asked with shock.

"This is what happens when you stuff all the clothes that we buy when we go shopping together in the back of your closet," Asmo said shaking his head in disappointment.

"Fine, I promise I'll listen to fashion advice more often," you sighed.

"Good because if I catch you leaving the house in sweatpants one more time, it's over for you," he said darkly before laughing to himself.

Weirdo. Sue me for choosing comfort over style. You thought to yourself.

You put the dress on and paired it with a pair of white pumps.

Asmo put your hair and a sort of messy updo that allowed your curls to fall in front of your face framing it perfectly.

"We're not going to do much for makeup since the dress is such a pure clean color we'll go for the same look Asmo explained as put some blush onto your face.

You had no idea how he was so good at it. He knew where and how to apply everything so that you would look almost unreal.

You were finally done it was time for you all to head to Diavolo's house. Naturally, Mammon and Leviathan were fighting the whole way there.

You missed the Devildom so much that it felt like a second home to you.

As you arrived at Diavolo's, Mammon finally piped down and told you about a new watch he had purchased the day before.

Your chatter ended when you entered the main foyer greeted by none other than Barbatos and Diavolo.

"Hello all, Merry Christ-" Diavolo started before you interrupted him by running into Barbatos' arms.

"I've missed you so much," you chirped as you peppered his face with kisses.

"I missed you more," he replied as he placed his hand behind your head and pressed it against his chest.

"Blech! Please guys get a room my goodness," Mammon said as he walked past you straight to the dining hall.

"Mammon, have some manners," Lucifer sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

You and Barbatos just laughed at the chaos already beginning around you.

"Lucifer! It's been too long!" Diavolo exclaimed as he put an arm around Lucifer.

"I was literally here yesterday," Lucifer responded.

"Why don't we all make our way to the dining hall?" Barbatos suggested calmly reeling the group in.

Everyone sat down and broke into conversation and enjoyed their meals.

You and Barbatos were having your own conversation catching up on each other vacations. The only issue was that Mammon wouldn't stop interrupting the two of you.

"I know you're datin' my human and all but I just wanna let ya' know that I was her first," Mammon said glaring at Barbatos.

"That always sounds so wrong when you say it," Barbatos chuckled as he ate. You nudged him and giggled along with his joke.

The two of you tried to talk but there was too much going on. Barbatos suddenly took your hand and whispered in your ear, "What do you say we get out of here?"

You smiled to yourself feeling the heat rise to your cheeks after feeling his warm breath against your ear making the hairs on the back of your neck raise.

Everyone was laughing and conversing too consumed with the festivities to notice the two of you seeking out.

Barbatos brought you to the kitchen and asked if you wanted anything. "Chamomile would be great," you said.

Barbatos made the two of you tea as you sat on the kitchen island talking about the souvenirs you bought for him in Italy.

"I wish I could have come with you, I have been meaning to go to a cooking class there, I noticed you and Diavolo have been taking a liking to pasta recently," he explained.

"I know you would've wanted to but that's why I got you a cookbook made by the infamous Gino D'Acampo!" you exclaimed waiting for his impressed or surprised reaction.

"I'm sorry who is that?" Barbatos asked in the nicest way possible.

You laughed at his effort to not hurt your feelings before explaining, "He is one of the most well-known Italian cuisine cookers,"

"Really? Thank you, you really didn't have to get me one of those," he answered as he gave your hand a squeeze.

"I wanted to," you insisted.

"I love you so much," Barbatos said looking deeply into your eyes.

Barbatos then took your teacup from your hands and put it aside. He then placed both his hands on your shoulders. As the two of you looked at each other enjoying the silence Barbatos leaned in slowly. You could feel his breath hitting your lips.

His lips were almost an inch away from yours. He placed himself in between your parted legs, snaked his hand around your waist, and pulled you in closer. The whole thing was happening painfully slow but the two of you were savoring the moment.

You draped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer for a kiss. You pulled him closer to you slowly and when your lips finally connected it all felt mythical.

The kiss was wet it was hot but it was quick. Rushed. Hands wandering all over. It was messy, improper, and should have never happened. Not there. Not where someone could catch them.

For the first time ever Barbatos gained the traits of Beelzebub. He allowed his hunger for you to consume him. Self-control was thrown out the window.

Barbatos ran his fingers through your hair destroying your updo. Your hair fell to your shoulders and Barbatos moved your hair out of the way so that he could kiss your neck leaving hickys in his wake.

The lustful feeling enveloped the two of you. You were in your own bubble of tension and longing. You hadn't even noticed that Lucifer walked in looking for toothpicks. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt I just-" Lucifer started unable to finish his sentence obviously flustered by the situation the two of you were in.

You fumbled to fix your dress and rubbed the lip gloss that smudged at the corner of your lip.

Barbatos fixed his hair and straightened his collar. "No, I'm sorry. Toothpicks?" he suggested knowing Lucifer far too well.

"Yes, please," he replies awkwardly.

After Lucifer left the room you and Barbatos couldn't help but laugh. "I can't believe that just happened," you giggle.

"We should probably head back," Barbatos suggested taking your hand.

"For sure," you said as you hopped off the counter oblivious to the marks displayed on your neck. Your hair thankfully draped over most of them.

You joined everyone in the room and the festivities continued.

"We can all see those hickies mama," Asmo whispered nonchalantly as he ate his dessert.

"WHa?" you gasped as you looked down and saw the hugest hickey on your neck. You quickly moved your hair to cover the hickies. You heard Asmo stifle laughter.

Barbatos chuckled at your effort to cover the mark and was amused when a couple of people noticed them.

By the end of the party, everyone was tipsy or drunk, everyone except for Lucifer. "Alright now it is time for us to go home," he said motioning for you to come with him.

"I think she'll stay the night we have some unfinished business," Barbatos said shooting him a wink.

He didn't need anything more to get the message and leave with his brothers.

That night you planned on getting freaky but instead ended up falling asleep together the moment your bodies hit the bed.

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taglist:

@aripet22

[postwarlevi]

Mornings with your self ship

In no particular order!

Who are you self shipping?

1 Are you working out together this morning?

2 Breakfast in bed? Who makes it/what is made?

3 They're in a hurry and you're off, how do you help them get ready?

4 You leave a note in their lunchbox, what does it say?

5 You fell asleep last night and are finishing the tv show/movie in bed. What are you watching?

6 Lazy morning! Who finally gets up first and why?

7 Who takes the longest in the bathroom? Does the other person care?

8 You get on the computer together to look up videos. What are you watching?

9 What type of puzzle do you sit around and complete together? (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku, etc)

10 Back to movies/tv, you're having a marathon! Pick a series!

11 You have to go outside! What chore do you do together?

12 It's your day off together and your phone is ringing. Who is it, what do they want, and how do you respond?

13 You're up first and dancing around the kitchen. What do they do when they wake up and see?

14 You're daydreaming together about your next vacation. Tell us about it!

15 Reading in bed together! Do you have a newspaper, book, magazine...? Do they have the same?

This is very random but I hope you have fun!

tagging: @levisbrat25 @hauntedhousecat @sckerman @levi-supreme @nelapanela94 @ack3rlady @m-jelly @yakaaamoz @whattheheckmidoriya @chaotic-nick @happybird16

If this isn't your thing no worries! Anyone who wants to do this go for it! My answers below the cut :)

Who are you self shipping?

Levi

1 Are you working out together this morning?

Ugh, maybe? Just a little, probably not. Might do some living room stretches. Easy yoga and meditation.

2 Breakfast in bed? Who makes it/what is made?

I want to make it but he won't let me. I get muesli with lots of berries, and wheat toast with peanut butter. He joins me with his own and brings the tea.

3 They're in a hurry and you're off, how do you help them get ready?

I'll pick out some clothes for him while he's showering, start his tea and pack a lunch for him. Tell him not to worry about the clean up or anything and get him out on time. He promises to make dinner later.

4 You leave a note in their lunchbox, what does it say?

Something about how much he means to me. Maybe like, "life with you is all I've ever wanted. Thank you for every day together." morning aura note??

5 You fell asleep last night and are finishing the tv show/movie in bed. What are you watching?

A drama series like Timeless or Manifest. We have to stop so I can ask questions sometimes. I missed half the episode last night so we're starting it over.

6 Lazy morning! Who finally gets up first and why?

Usually it's him so chores can get done. Today, I will. I want Levi to take it easy for once. After hitting the bathroom (the real reason I had to get up) I'll start things like wash and make a grocery list, asking for Levis input. He'll get up soon to shower and help continue chores.

7 Who takes the longest in the bathroom? Does the other person care?

Oh it's me! I don't mean to though, I'm just slow in the mornings. If I'm in the shower Levi will come right in and do what he needs to, sometimes join me in the shower to conserve water, at least that's what he says. I should just let him go first, but neither of us mind sharing the bathroom.

8 You get on the computer together to look up videos. What are you watching?

DIY videos for tips and ideas for the house. Looking to change some things around but would like to do it ourselves. And am up for things we've never thought about, like turning our old headboard into a coat rack and organizer. We also like funny cat videos.

9 What type of puzzle do you sit around and complete together? (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku, etc)

We're doing the weekend crossword. I'm great at entertainment and some random things, Levi is very smart and gets most things and we plug in anything else!

10 Back to movies/tv, you're having a marathon! Pick a series!

We're doing an I Love Lucy marathon! I laugh so hard and he chuckles pretty good most of the time, especially the banter between Fred and Ethel.

11 You have to go outside! What chore do you do together?

We're line drying clothes and pulling up weeds from the garden! He never complains about helping with laundry and we tend to line dry when we can to save energy and for freshness. And we both like keeping the garden nice so our produce stays healthy! We'll be picking some soon!

12 It's your day off together and your phone is ringing. Who is it, what do they want, and how do you respond?

Erwin calls me because he needs something for work from Levi who has shut his phone off. Levi takes the phone and gives 2 minutes to the situation then says it's his weekend and he'll see him tomorrow.

13 You're up first and dancing around the kitchen. What do they do when they wake up and see?

Levi is smiling from the side and let's me do my thing, scaring me after he asks if he should come back later after a few minutes. Leaves me giggling with lots of kisses, telling me how adorable I am.

14 You're daydreaming together about your next vacation. Tell us about it!

I'm actually going to pick Alaska cruise tour. We like the cooler weather. 7 days on land, 7 on sea, everything planned for us basically. We'll stay in Denali the longest to make sure to get all the touristy stuff in and hike a bit. Pick the one with the comfortable train ride to the boat and upgrade to first class. Decide to get a balcony so we can see the ocean away from others and spot a few whales. Levi probably takes lots of pictures of me and I force him into a few. Do the fancy sit down dinner most nights but I talk him into the buffet and he says he'll watch to make sure people are being clean. Take daily afternoon naps and go the the shows later. Go kayaking in peaceful Sitka and meet the sled dogs in Juneau. Levi is excited for all the hot tea we'll be offered. We're going to need a vacation AFTER our vacation!

15 Reading in bed together! Do you have a newspaper, book, magazine...? Do they have the same?

A book or magazine for me. I interrupt his book reading with a 'rate your mate' quiz from the magazine and we end up laughing at the questions and answers.

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Who are you self shipping?

Jean

1 Are you working out together this morning?

Probably going for a mile run. He wants to stretch beforehand and I know we should but I hate it! Makes the last bit a race and gives me a head start. I still can't beat him. One day!

2 Breakfast in bed? Who makes it/what is made?

Breakfast is this mans favorite (and mine!) so I get the best veggie omelet and a bowl of chopped fruit. He makes another omelet for himself and steals some of my fruit.

3 They're in a hurry and you're off, how do you help them get ready?

I make him a smoothie and get his lunch together. Also make sure his keys and wallet are in the same place so he can grab everything and go. He can never find his keys for some reason.

4 You leave a note in their lunchbox, what does it say?

Something positive about what a great job he's doing. Something like, "things aren't always easy, but I love watching you succeed."

5 You fell asleep last night and are finishing the tv show/movie in bed. What are you watching?

A cooking show like Master Chef. We love our cooking shows and neither of us could make it to the second commercial.

6 Lazy morning! Who finally gets up first and why?

It's him because he wants to make sure we get a little something to eat. Once he's up though he's up for the day and playfully makes the bed around me while I try to get him back in with me. But the smell of food gets me up.

7 Who takes the longest in the bathroom? Does the other person care?

It's both of us. I'm slow and he just has a lot to do, so we share the mirror and sometimes do skincare treatment together and if one of us is in the shower keep asking "are you almost done yet?" If the answer is no, one can expect company :)

8 You get on the computer together to look up videos. What are you watching?

Grocery hauls! We like eating healthy (most of the time) and like to get ideas and work around what we already have. Also, reaction videos to popular music videos.

9 What type of puzzle do you sit around and complete together? (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku, etc)

A 500 piece jigsaw puzzle it is! We might not get it all done in one go, but we get it done eventually. We try to make color piles and of course tackle the outside first.

10 Back to movies/tv, you're having a marathon! Pick a series!

We're having a Disney marathon and both love it! We pick non princess movies today like Robin Hood, Sword and the Stone, and 101 Dalmatians!

11 You have to go outside! What chore do you do together?

Not so much a chore, but our doggy has to go out so we walk him together. Since it's not a hot day once we get back we wash the windows and get into a water hose fight.

12 It's your day off together and your phone is ringing. Who is it, what do they want, and how do you respond?

Sasha is calling wanting to know if we want to hang out with the gang later. We tell her probably and we'll call in a bit and depending on the time, go back to bed a while and show up after spending most of the day by ourselves.

13 You're up first and dancing around the kitchen. What do they do when they wake up and see?

Oh this guy! I get whistled at and he claps and thanks me for the show, then comes join me after seeing me blush, and we slow dance for a few minutes before continuing the day.

14 You're daydreaming together about your next vacation. Tell us about it!

We're finally going to Europe! You know we're hitting Italy and if it's possible plan trains to other surrounding countries as well. We want to do all the touristy things but also try to find quiet places to stay that just feel more like we're there than a big name motel. We'll ask the locals the best places to find food and things to do that we might not think of. We're already talking about when we could actually do this.

15 Reading in bed together! Do you have a newspaper, book, magazine...? Do they have the same?

Books for both of us! He's got a true crime book and wants to tell me about it but I don't want nightmares! I have another book in my anthology series. We try to read for 20 minutes a day usually.

[pascalina]

The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Light on me Ep 7&8

I know I'm late and all but whatever. I had a very nice vacation in the meantime and spend today catching up with "Light on me". Last week's episodes definetly have a different vibe than the ones before. There's a lot of posessiveness and pairings that won't work out at all. I just want to tell every character they are wasting their energy here but well, they have to learn their lesson by themselves. Sounds like I'm talking about children... but watching them sure feels like watching children find their way. Even though the story annoys me a tiny bit, I still have to give the writers all the credits. The characters act like high school students still trying to find their value and struggle with insecurities. For some people, it's better to live alone but they can't because they are too young to move out. Some people have to learn being all loud and noticeable is not always the best way to go. Some need to see they need to define themselves on their own and not let their personality depend on another person's. And some people have to open up more to the world in order to navigate through it. I just think all kind of personalities are mirrored here and it's what makes "Light on me" interesting to watch. Even the conflicts seem to be played out in realistic ways and disappointment is never misplaced, drama is always ready to follow and that happens naturally.

During these two episodes the motive of jealousy materializes itself more and more. Now, things become more serious and we all know, stuff will happen this week - more specifically, tomorrow. Feelings will be spoken of and tears will be shed, probably. All out of jealousy.

So-Hee

If we're talking about jealousy here, we'll start with So-Hee because she is the one who gets more specific and even addressees the topic towards Tae-Gyeong to bring her point across. Last week, it became obvious, she will be a problem or cause a mess. She likes Da-On a lot, even told him, but he doesn't take her compliments and confessions seriously, so she's stuck with him in the friendzone and doesn't know how to show him she's honest.

"I once knew everything about Da-On, but since you showed up, there are things I don't know."

Tae-Gyeong is a threat to her but at the same time opens her eyes that she needs to listen more to Da-On in order to win his heart. She just declared him as hers but she can see there are things Da-On is hiding from her. Still, she takes every chance to be next to him, but also to observe if he will ever give her his heart or not. She feels he doesn't see her anymore and this fear of Da-On slipping away is so grand, she shows up at Tae-Gyeong's surprise party to "congratulate" him. Da-On might believe that but the others all know that's not her original intention. Nontheless, Da-On switches seats with her.

This way, she's a lot more in charge and takes every chance she gets. She even says "Da-On is nice to everybody" to lift the feeling of being someone special off Tae-Gyeong's heart. She's desperate to hold on to this idea in her head. But like Tae-Gyeong says "Da-On is not an object she can own".

Da-On

So-Hee can hope all she wants, Da-On obviously has a crush on Tae-Gyeong but is too afraid to tell her because that would mean breaking her heart and her giving him a look of disappointment.

Da-On is crushing n Tae-Gyeong so hard, it's so obvious, so nobody will believe this lie ever. Even Tae-Gyeong hmself knows. Still, I think this crush originates in admiration beause Tae-Gyeong doesn't hide and at the same time, Tae-Gyeong didn't know Da-On before, so he doesn't have an opinion about him. He doesn't know who Da-On is. He has no expectations thus he can never be disappointed of Da-On. That's what Da-On thinks at least, and he feels some sort of relief. Tae-Gyeong listens to him, pays attention, knows when to be next to him to support him. Also, he can tell Tae-Gyeong about his life without the fear of hearing something like "I'm sorry it's this way". Yes, Tae-Gyeong pities him, everyone would, but what's most important here is to find the right words and Tae-Gyeong does. "You can be honest with me. You're allowed to" is all Da-On needed in this situation. Still, he gives Tae-Gyeong too much hope and in the end Tae-Gyeong feels let down.

Their bond surely is special. They both see the opposite of their own personalities in the other. It's like they both feel like they will learn from each other. Last week, I wasn't sure, if Tae-Gyeong would return Da-On's feelings because it was just Da-On touching him and not the other way around. Tae-Gyeong never made a move with the intention of touching Da-On. Yeah well, this week, that changes.

Shin-Woo

And to talk about the endgame of Tae-Gyeong, we have to talk about Shin-Woo. He is so obviously jealous, it hurts Tae-Gyeong doesn't get it. Shin-Woo is just his weak spot, I guess. Tae-Gyeong is very curious about Shin-Woo, always seeking for a pattern in his actions and feels like he needs to solve this mystery in order to live in peace. The more he explores and discovers, the more he likes Shin-Woo. Shin-Woo liked Tae-Gyeong from the very beginning and is pretty direct for his whereabouts.

"I'm just nice to people I like."

At the same time, I think, he doesn't just pull away because he's shy but also because he has fun watching Tae-Gyeong figure him out.

His face right here shows love, amusement and frustration at the same time. He goes the safe way and gives Tae-Gyeong a challenge. But since Da-On acts up more and more, Shin-Woo sees his position as a special friend on a leave and starts to act less discrete. When Tae-Gyeong is sad at the party because Da-On left and didn't come back, Shin-Woo ties his shoelaces to cast the attention on himself. To make Tae-Gyeong see him. To show Tae-Gyeong he is still there. That's why the moment after when Tae-Gyeong wants to leave and return Da-On's bag, Shin-Woo's gaze is so heartbreaking.

He feels Tae-Gyeong slipping away and he made a last effort to convince Tae-Gyeong otherwise, to not follow Da-On that night and Tae-Gyeong knows that. He hears how desperate Shin-Woo sounds, how his face turns all sad and that it's not necessarily only about karaoke.

"I'm sorry. Next time."

Later, when they are all on this trip, Shin-Woo again, tries to force Tae-Gyeong's attention on him. He helps Tae-Gyeong carry the cartons, he goes to the souvenir shop with him, he eats next to him, he stops Tae-Gyeong's bleeding without even asking what happened. These are all signs of his jealousy. He makes sure Da-On sees him spending time with Tae-Gyeong.

In the end, we get this scenery:

This is exactly picturing Shin-Woo and Da-On fighting about Tae-Gyeong and one of them has to let go in the end. One could see this scene as some sort of forshadowing. Tae-Gyeong arrives with an injury, Shin-Woo is the first to act and help. Then Da-On shows up, casting attention on him and claiming he will do it. But then Shin-Woo steps in again and talks him down, so in the end it's Shin-Woo taking care of Tae-Gyeong. I see a metaphor here guys.

Conclusion

To summarize, So-Hee likes Da-On but Da-On likes Tae-Gyeong. Shin-Woo likes Tae-Gyeong as well and they are all jealous of one another basically. The last person, Namgung, will be part of the mess next week, I guess. He and So-Hee will probably kiss or something because she is sad and he likes her no matter what he says.

For me, it's obvious Tae-Gyeong and Shin-Woo will be endgame as well as Namgung and So-Hee. I think Da-On has to be alone for a while. There's still very much pain behind the sentences "Nothing at home belongs to me", "My mother has a lot of things that are more important than me" and "I thought I was used to her indifference towards me but I guess I'm not". He has to heal on his own and accept himself. Not everybody with big insecurities about their personality is a quiet and shy person, it can be everyone and not every overthinker is silent, you can be anxious and just cover it with happiness and laughter, so Da-On is not obvious, but he needs to love himself before he can really enjoy he bittersweet feeling called love without having doubts everytime.

I'm excited for this week. Let's see what will happen. Jealousy will kick in with everyone of them.

[meg91596]

Grew Up Too Fast Chapter 5: Elena's Diagnosis

Scout:

Since my baby sister 3 year old Elena Renee Lincoln, has been in the hosptial it has been kind of like a responsiblity to make sure Luke and Charlie get their school work done and brought to the hospital after school. They are usually good for me but Luke however is upset that I don't spend much time with him anymore. He misses having fun with me and wants to have things the way they were before I became a teenager.

Today Elena went to a nerological clinic and a Celiac Disease Specialist because of her disorders in Boston Mass, and they are trying to figure out what is wrong with her. Since she was diagnosis with Celiac Disease our life has changed it has been a hard 2 months of going gluten free. I can't understand my sister could have such a illness. But what scares me is being across country while Allison could have Annalese anyday now. I know she's not really going to be our daughter but it would be nice if she was. Bailey is adopting her but it's under an open adoption, although Ally could still change her mind.

Atticus:

Being here in Boston reminds me of when I was a young child because I spent time here at Boston Children's hospital and honestly I never thought that I would be back except for sugeries of young children but never in my right mind did I think of my own child. Elena not only has Celiac Disease but she also has a nerological disorder that is preventing her from talking, and doing a lot of various things. In her Preschool we had to have an IEP for her. None of our 3 kids previously needed an IEP. Scout, Charlotte, and Luke are so bright that the schools can't keep bumping them up a grade. Heck if Scout gets bumped up another grade he would be graduated before the age of 19 when he really should be getting done with school. Elena's neurologist seems to think that she is on the Autisic spectrum. Amelia and I know that she is because she is showing all the signs of being autisic. We know that it is a tough road ahead but we love our daughter no matter what.

Luke:

I never really get a say in any of our family Vacations I didn't want to go to Boston because we have been going to Boston off an on since Elena started showing difficulties in learning. She maybe my little sister in all but I don't think She should be as special as she is. I was special at one point too but not as much as Scout, or Elena. That's all I here and poor Charlie and I get nothing. Well more of me I feel like the forgotten one. I really love my siblings, and my parents but sometimes I want the attention that Scout, Charlie, and Elena get just once in my life I want to feel special without it being my birthday or Christmas.

Amelia:

Having a child on the spectrum is never easy but when I'm a neurologist it is hard because I can't help my own child. Elena has not only Autism but Celiac Disease and trust me it is not a fun road to go down. We can't eat gluten anymore because Elena will eat it an land her in the hospital. Honestly this child has changed our lives around. With Scout, Charlie, and Luke our lives were perfect, we had the perfect kids, the perfect family but now it feels broken because Scout is about to be a father at 16 years old when in reality shouldn't be happening. Charlie is being picked on at school and is making it known at home causing some drama. Luke well he really doesn't do much he's a lot like his older brother.

Allison:

Having Scout across the country while I'm in labor is not what I pictured when I found out I was pregnant. This is just a complete disaster. We had discussed adoption or keeping the baby. I really want Scout to meet his daughter Marley Mae. Originally we had thought Annalese but it wasn’t a name that we really liked. When Scout retuned to Seattle Scout met Marley and we both agreed that she’s our daughter and nobody else’s daughter. We were a family of 3 well in separate houses that is.

[unmanageable-day]

[11.09AM]

"This is so weird, okay? I can't believe my friend is dating my older sister." Johnny nagged as he opened the door and found Jaehyun flashing a wide smile in front of his house.

"I love you too, Johnny," Jaehyun answered, chuckling and handing him over a bag of cheese burger. He entered Johnny's house casually without even waiting for the owner to let him in.

"Don't you think you can bribe me," Johnny said dramatically, yet his hands were already busy opening the paper bag. "Vivian! Jaehyun is here!" he called for his sister.

"I can hear you clearly, Johnny, you don't have to shout like that," his sister hissed as she went out from her room, being dramatic as well but less dramatic than her brother. "And, Seo Youngho, didn't I tell you to not call me Vivian?" She approached her giant little brother and gave him light slaps on his arm. She wanted to pinch his cheeks or ears, but Johnny was saved because he was much taller.

"Okay, okay. I get it, Ayoung noona," he whined that he gave Jaehyun eye signal to get his sister out quickly.

Jaehyun chuckled at the usual bickering scene between Ayoung and Johnny. Ayoung turned to Jaehyun who were ready to greet her with a smile that his dimples popped out. "You ready?"

Ayoung nodded, also smiling wide at her date.

"Speaking of which, it would be nice too if you call me with my real name, instead of Jaehyun," Jaehyun shyly said once they hopped into Jaehyun’s car.

Ayoung smiled at him. "Okay, Yuno."

Jaehyun, aka Yuno let his hand slowly reached Ayoung's before he turned on the car machine. His expression couldn't lie when he got to hear his name called with such a sweet, loving voice.

[11.42PM]

"I don't want to say good bye," Yuno muttered as he tightened his grip on Ayoung's hand. He stopped by at a park with playground nearby Ayoung’s house after spending a great time at an underground jazz café.

"Why don't you go with me upstairs? I'm sure Johnny is still wide awake."

"And let Johnny hyung beat me up? No, thank you," he joked.

Ayoung chuckled.

"This is perfect anyway," Yuno said as he scanned the surrounding. The playground was completely empty as the time showed past eleven at night. After making sure nobody around, Yuno slightly pulled her closer and sneaked his arms around Ayoung's waist. "And I can't do this if Johnny is around," he whispered as he, bending his lower body to match her eye level, put his forehead against Ayoung's.

Thanks to the night sky, Ayoung could hide her blushing cheeks. She only drew a shy smile as she tried to look at Yuno in the eyes, her hands holding onto his upper arms.

The lovebirds, drowning in each other's minds, spent minute after minute without words in the same position until their phones rang at the same time, startling both of them. Yuno let loose his embrace, but didn't completely let go of his girl. After taking his phone out of his pocket, he put one arm around Ayoung's shoulder and let her lean on him.

"Wow, the group chat is a mess at this hour. And Johnny is already threating me," told Yuno while scrolling up and down his phone screen.

"He is indeed. Should I tell him we're here?" she playfully asked as she found Johnny's rants via text in her phone as well.

"You gotta be kidding."

Ayoung chuckled as she hugged him from the side. "Aigoo, our Yuno~"

Again, he blushed from hearing his name called.

"It's almost 12. You should go back home, Yuno." She affectionately fixed Yuno's fringe. "Or... how about staying over?" she teased again.

Yuno chuckled this time. "If sleepover, I'll go with Doyoung and Mark so Johnny won't go after me."

"Okay, I'll invite the others for dinner tomorrow, and you can stay over."

[6.25PM]

Ayoung was busy cooking in the kitchen after managed to trick Johnny to go grocery shopping. She also succeeded surprising him that they were going to host a dinner with his buddies. So now he was made use for his labor to tidy up the living room and arrange the tables and plates.

"Remind me again why do we suddenly hold a dinner event?" he groaned as he pushed the sofa to one side.

"Just think of it as a late birthday party for you, since I wasn't around and you were busy as well," she blabbered.

"Okay, that doesn't make any sense. What's with the other guys?"

"It's just the form of my gratitude to them for taking good care of you." Ayoung basically just said anything. She knew everything came out of her mouth did not make any sense at all. "Anyway, our mom and Taeyong's mom just sent us a lot of food. You and I know very well we don't eat often at home. So it's best to share, right?"

Johnny shut his mouth, kind of agree-not-agree. "You're being ridiculously nice after going out with Jaehyun," he mocked, which got himself a loving silence treatment.

Taeyong, Doyoung, Ten and Mark came first. Both Johnny and Ayoung welcomed them cheerfully and gave them a big hug as if they hadn't met for so long, while they literally just saw each other 3 days ago. Taeil, Haechan, Yuta and Yuno came a bit later. Both house owner greeted their guests the same way, yet after Taeil, Haechan and Yuta, Johnny blocked Ayoung's way to Yuno. Instead, Johnny didn't let Yuno go from his bear hug. Ayoung just rolled her eyes and left her brother with her boyfriend.

"I know you miss me but can you please let go of me now?" Yuno spoke in the midst of searching for some oxygen.

"I'm not letting you go today," Johnny said with a scary aegyo as he slightly dragged Yuno to the living room with a bit force.

"He really gets jealous ever since you start dating with Jaehyun, Noona," Taeyong commented, giggling at the two giants fighting over nothing.

"You mean being overprotective even more than he already is," she scoffed as she took out fruits from the fridge.

Mark who was next to Taeyong went straight for the watermelon that Ayoung already prepared specially for him. Just because she was very fond of the baby brother.

"It is still funny that he never changes his profile photo, so everyone still thinks he's not single," Mark added as he stuffed his mouth with watermelon cubes. The photo Mark mention was pretty much a public secret. It was a picture of her and Johnny at a beach, taken several years ago during a family vacation, with a pose that didn't really portray siblings relationship. Johnny's arm circling around Ayoung's waist, his smiling face captured in candid, and Ayoung resting her hand on Johnny's upper belly while showing her side body profile but her face beaming directly into the camera. Anybody would absolutely misunderstand them for being a couple. Not to mention the outfit they wore in the photo had similar patterns.

Ayoung could only let out a bitter laugh. Johnny intentionally put that picture as his profile in chat messenger, so he could make an excuse if there's anyone suggested him for a blind date. These boys knew Ayoung had the same picture as her profile, and they laughed at her and it was all thanks to Johnny who always changed Ayoung's profile, to the extent Ayoung was too frustrated to change it again. So she just let Johnny do whatever he wanted. It kinda 'helped' her in a way that no men messed with her. Same with her brother, at least nobody interfered her love life and told her to go for a blind date. If someone asked about the guy in the photo, she could just make up some stories that they were in long distance relationship.

And one day came Jung Jaehyun, boldly brought himself before her and asked her out while no one dared because of her brother. The boys were pretty amused because Johnny often joked that he wouldn't introduce his sister to any of his members. He preferred someone older and he always mentioned someone like Kim Suho or Do Kyungsoo. That was pretty much the history explaining the current condition of the complicated relationship between Johnny and Jaehyun.

"Yo, Jay," Ten greeted Jaehyun who finally managed to escape.

"Thank goodness Lucas and the little brothers rang the bell," Yuno exhaled deeply as he joined the others. He immediately approached Ayoung who was deeply engaged in conversation with Taeyong,

Mark and Doyoung. "Hey," he greeted.

"Yuno," Ayoung brightly greeted him back and went into his arms. He smiled warmly at her and totally forgot for a second that it wasn't only the two of them in the room.

"Omo.. did she just say 'Yuno'?" Doyoung gasped dramatically.

"'Yuno'?" Ten repeated loudly and he couldn't help but cackling. The others started to parrot him and the name 'Yuno' was echoing.

"Vivian Seo! I did not raise you to behave like this!" Johnny exclaimed from the other corner in the room. His hands were on his waist, officially starting the drama. But everyone in the room couldn't really hold their laughter, including Jung Yuno who was safe in Ayoung's care.

Ayoung herself? She pretended not to hear him as she scooted even closer against Yuno, publicly showing affection, cuddling with him just to make Johnny even more frustrated. She even merong-ed at her younger brother several times.