#i'm literally getting ready for bed but i can't stop thinking about her!!

[moirindeclermont]

Fashionable late but I was delayed by my own unlocking of the next stage. If you think a cold is bad, a cold with chronic sinusitis is way worse. But... This is literally the highlight of my day, so I could not miss it...

Today's episode of "All Polin's first times we didn't see" is about the first time they try 🐕

Pen reads about it in one of Colin's diary. It's from Colin perspective, but being her husband the sweetheart he is, he does mention in the diary that he asked the woman he was with if it was good for her too. She said that it varies but most women found it pleasurable, with someone who knows what they are doing.

Perhaps she should be jealous of the past lovers in Colin's life, but in her heart, she can't. First of all, they are not that many, truth to be told. He seems the loyal type, even when it comes to sex worker. Second and most important, they are not threats for their relationship. She is secure in her feelings for Colin and it's the same for him as well. Lastly, she kinda want to thank them for all the knowledge she is gaining into this aspect of their life.

Like this one lucky discover. She talks about it with Colin in the evening and he just laugh when she explain what she wants to try. "I should have realize that you'd use those diaries as research and exercises... Not that I'm complaining, wife." As he envelopes her in his embrace for a long and passionate kiss.

"Can I add something to your request, Pen?" And before she can answer he goes "Can we also use the mirror?"

She moans at that, imagine how them together in that position.

They start slow, their passion increasing in waves as they explore each other. Colin loves to stimulate her with at least his fingers and often with his mouth, and today is not an exception. "I want you open and relaxed for the next step, " he says as he makes her come loudly.

His favorite meal of the day, he calls it, and it definitely shows.

When she is ready, he helps her get into position. She sees herself, her face red and relaxed, her eyes trusting. Her curls all over the place, her breasts almost touching the mattress - Colin gives a good squeeze to both and looks at her in the mirror, "you're a vision, Penelope" and then he hets behind her, in between her legs. "Stop me of you don't like it," he makes sure to tell her and she nods. "Look at yourself in the mirror," and he starts to push.

She sees her mouth drop open and she can't resist closing her eyes for a moment, but then she reopens them, she wants to see. He is all inside her now, hands on her hips as he is giving both of them a moment. They look at each other through the mirror and Colin starts to thrust.

It seems much deeper than other positions they tried before and it's soooo good.

It's a bit of a blur after that, Colin speeding up and losing control. They are both moaning messes, Colin's eyes fixating on her face and her bosom, oscillating with the movements, adding another layer of stimulation for her. She sees his hand sneaking up on her body, towards her core and when he touches her pearl she comes with a shout, Colin right behind her. She collapse on the bed, her arms shaky and Colin is hugging her from behind, caressing her all over.

"Remind me to send flowers to all the brothels you've been, she says still breathless, and they laugh together at that.

"For what?" Colin find himself asking.

"But for all the wonderful ideas, Colin," she answers as if it's perfectly reasonable, and they start laughing again.

[emp-blast]

you WILL read my thoughts on miss Loba apex legends

[a-b-riddle]

Part Five

Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)

You call Meredith when you get home.

You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.

How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.

"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."

"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"

"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."

"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.

"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."

"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."

"That works."

"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."

It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.

"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.

"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."

The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.

Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.

But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.

You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.

You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.

Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.

“What are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...

“My key wouldn’t work.” He explained. "So I’m out here.”

"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"

"You won't return any of our messages."

"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."

"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.

"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.

Dammit.

"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."

"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.

"Why not?" He countered.

“Maybe because I've already tried, Kyle?” You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. “Because I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didn’t need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because I’ve made the excuses for you.” You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. “I’ve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didn’t do for me wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until it’s time to fuck. I tell myself it’s because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know I’m not worthy of meeting.” He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. “It’s not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.”

He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.

You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.

God...

That felt good.

You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...

You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.

[livinginshambles]

Not ridiculous at all | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You are part of the marauders, always having felt special when they called you part of the gang, but also consequently too embarrassed to admit to wanting to be more feminine, afraid that they would no longer deem you cool enough to hang out with you. You are hurt by James' comments and James might realise something when you're avoiding him.

Notes: Best friend!James, he's a bit stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, arguments, so maybe a little angsty, but not really, classic cliche tropes like friends to lovers, misunderstandings, pining (I literally just dreamt this so it's a bit patchy) and I know it's very stereotypical but that's why it's just fanfiction :)

(PS) I haven't written before, just wanted to get this out of my system. English is my third language, and this fic is not proofread because I'm way too lazy for that! Enjoy!

Part two Masterlist

__________________

You've grown up with James Potter and have been part of the marauders since the very beginning. You always took 'being one of the guys' or 'part of the gang' as a compliment, it left you feeling giddy as if you were included in some secret group that only you had the privilege of belonging to.

But sometimes you would sit in the girls dormitory and despite your friends laughing and chatting about, you would feel a wave of loneliness wash over you. They often did activities together and by now, 6th year at Hogwarts, they've managed to stop asking you to join them as you've always dutifully replied that it 'wasn't your thing'.

I mean, what would the guys think of you? It would be too embarrassing to admit to them, or anyone for that matter, that you would love to be dolled up for once. To go shopping with your friends, be included in movie nights, asked by Alice if she could test some makeup on you, or read and gossip about the new romance novels that were the new hype.

Especially now when you sat on your bed, part of the circle in which they were discussing plans to go dress shopping.

"You should absolutely join us!" Alice squealed in delight. You were shaken out of your train of thoughts with a huh and realized the conversation had taken a turn somewhere and now included you too. Marlene and Lily nodded fervently in agreement but you bashfully shook your head.

"Nah, can you imagine me in a dress?" You joked, but Dorcas caught the curious and somewhat longing look in your eyes at the mention of getting ready for the Yule ball.

"I think you would look great actually. And besides, you can treat yourself too sometime you know. You're not obligated to stick with the marauders all the time." The girls in the dorm once again all agreed and you smiled at their kindness.

"Since when are you interested in things like the Yule ball?"

You snapped your head up at James to see his questioning eyes and then quickly averted your own in a flustered manner as if one of your greatest secrets had just been uncovered. "I just think it seems nice, that's all, I'm not even going or anything", you defended. You felt slightly embarrassed by James' face which wore a weirded out expression.

"Well you're not really the type to go to such an event anyway right?", James remarked. You did your best to hide your frown at his immediate agreement. Was it that bad that you'd hoped he would say something along the lines of 'what are you talking about, go enjoy yourself at the party' or something like that?

"Besides I can't imagine you in a dress, all made up, it'd just look so ridiculous." James continued. Remus, ever the sweet and attentive boy glanced at you and noticed your slightly sacked shoulders in disappointment at his words.

"I mean you're just not that type of person, you know? Like completely opposite of Lily."

And with that your face felt like it burned from embarrassment. As if you didn't already know. That didn't mean you didn't want to be more like her sometimes.

Peter's eyes flicked with concern from James to you and back.

You felt hurt and forced yourself to stop tears welling up at his words, mustering up a grin, ready to agree with him but were interrupted by Sirius who had now also caught your change in mood.

"Prongs, you really have no tact at all, how are you expecting to even win Evans over with that?" He said in a playful manner as to not offend their whipped friend, but not fully succeeding.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" James looked slightly offended and Remus jumped in the conversation.

"That's just not a nice thing to say. It's different if you call me an ugly toad, but not Y/N! If she wants to go to the Yule Ball all dolled up, she definitely should." He shot you a supportive smile which you returned.

Peter nodded in agreement. "I don't think you'd look ridiculous at all," he told you sincerely. You subtly scooted a little closer to him and Remus.

"But it's Y/N, it'd just look weird, cause she's just not a proper girl like that, no offense." James shot back and gave you a smile at the last two words.

You saw Remus opening his mouth to retort but quickly intervened. "He's right." You told them. You just wanted this conversation to be over with already. It was awkward and painful for you as it was.

James didn't seem to get the memo, however, and kept on going, drilling your confidence further into the ground.

"See, she agrees." He turned to you. "It's not like you're ugly or anything but it'd be ridiculous. Like I said, you're not the type to be all beautiful and dressed up, hair done and all. I mean you're cool, but not pretty like that." He was clearly not done yet and started talking about Lily and her beauty at which point you abruptly got up and left.

"What's gotten into her?" James remarked with a frown.

Sirius and Remus didn't even bother to answer and just stared at him in disbelief.

The girls comforted you as you cried. Marlene barged in with ice cream, stolen from the kitchen in one hand and 5 spoons in the other. "What a jerk." She commented and thrust a spoon in your hand before plopping down in front of you with the rest of your friends.

Lily sighed frustratedly. "See this is why I don't like him at all. He's so rude and arrogant, and he-"

"- is right." You answered dejectedly. "I'm your friend, but not the type to join you guys and belong to your circle."

"Well that's only because you hang around the boys all the time," Alice argued. She nudged you. "But you know what, now that James is being a git, you can hang out with us!"

Dorcas gasped dramatically. "We could do a girls night! Treat ourselves a little", she jumped up. "I'll get the face masks and nail polish!"

Lily let go of you too and told you to sit up. "Come on, let me do your hair," she smiled.

With Marlene feeding you ice cream, your nails being polished by Alice, hair done by Lily and Dorcas reading the latest romance novel out loud while you were all wearing a facemask, you couldn't help but feel all warm inside.

"I love you guys."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

You laughed and pushed Marlene teasingly off the bed.

"Hey, watch it! I just finished your right hand." Alice complained.

James was a moron. He was kind hearted (to most), popular, captain of the Quidditch team, good looking but a moron nonetheless. So he was absolutely clueless to find you missing from the common room yesterday evening and even more clueless when you were missing from your usual spot next to him at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, because he could not for the life of him think of a reason why you would sit with Alice and Frank instead.

He frowned and felt uneasy at the fact that you hadn't even looked at him, let alone come for a hug with your smile and said 'good morning' like usual. He shook the thoughts away. You were obviously allowed to have your own friends as well and not obligated to spend all your time with him.

The door of the great hall behind him opened and Lily Evans walked in, which was why instead of walking up to you to say something, he habitually turned to Lily instead.

"You look beautiful this morning as usual. I could put in the effort to match you when we go out together?" He shot her a wink and a coy smile but faltered slightly when his attempts at flirting got even less of a reaction out of her than usual.

James turned to Sirius with a questioning look, as if to ask 'you noticed that too right?' but Sirius simply shrugged. When James looked back at Frank and Alice, you were gone, having left the moment you felt his stare.

James started to ponder. 'Were you avoiding him? Surely you wouldn't, right? You two were friends after all, childhood friends. Childhood best friends even, for Merlin's sake! If you were upset with him, you'd definitely let him know.'

A week passed with you, sitting on the opposite sides of the classroom, seemingly having picked partners long before class because how else would you team up with random students before James could even blink?

He had now fully accepted that you were avoiding him. And with that, he meant 'accepting the possibility of that occurrence'. He was by no means going to accept your strange new behavior without doing anything.

The last drop though, was when he heard the news from Peter that you'd already left for Hogsmeade with the girls.

He frowned. 'You were kind', he reasoned. If you were upset with him, then he'd have to apologize. Quickly. Because it's been far too long without his best friend and he realized he missed you. Especially seeing you hang out with others.

"What did I do?" He finally asked his remaining friends.

"Really Prongs?" Remus couldn't help but ask. His friend just gave him a look that said 'well go on then, what is it'.

"How about you think about what you said last week, you know, those rude comments about the Yule ball."

"Yeah, but I already apologized yesterday and told her that I didn't mean to offend her!" James flailed his arms around when he exclaimed it.

"But she's still only hanging out with anyone but me," he whined. "Peter studied with her, Pads got a 'good morning' this morning and you're still talking to eachother.

Remus gave him an unimpressed look at his whining but James was not done complaining yet.

"She keeps spending all her time with the girls while she doesn't even seem to be fully enjoying herself"

This was true. You dearly missed James, so despite your newfound hobbies, a look of sadness sometimes fell over your face, which hadn't escaped James' attention.

"And I just don't understand why she would-" He started but never finished, something dawning on him. "Oh of course! Merlin, I'm so stupid!" He shouted out in epiphany.

"Your words not mine," Sirius quickly took the opportunity.

"Oh bugger off Pads", James laughed and pushed Sirius' arm. And with that, he took off to find you.

Sirius and Remus watched him leave and sighed at the same time. "Do you really think he got it?"

"I bloody hope so, Moony."

"But it's James."

"Yeah, but I mean it's not my fight but even I realize that she's sad that James made fun of the idea of her being more girly when she secretly wants to be. Now she's trying out what she likes, without having to stay within the role of 'one of the guys'. I mean, it's pretty straightforward. I guess a genuine apology and show of support is the solution."

"But it's James."

"Yep, you're right."

Though he hadn't been able to find you, he'd waited patiently for your return in the common room. Staring at the ceiling from his laid back position on the couch.

"Oh there you are, Y/N," He rushed to sit up to face you when you entered the room. If you were surprised by his presence, you didn't show it.

"We need to talk, I wanted to apologize." He breathed out, relieved at himself for having figured it out. "Also, I've missed you so much."

You felt a weight fall off your shoulders. You didn't want to be upset with him and felt incredibly relieved to hear him say that.

"I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean for you to get offended or anything," James began.

"Yeah, you already said that." You frowned. "And I remember I told you that that was not a proper apology."

"I know, I know. It was shitty of me so I wanted to apologize. Properly you know? I'm really really sorry. I was a terrible friend and shouldn't have said the things I said. Please forgive me?" He proceeded to give you Bambi eyes in an attempt to convince you. It unsurprisingly worked.

You softly smiled up at him. "Okay". You barely got the word out before he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

"Great," he said, cutting through the comfortable silence that you two had been hugging in.

"Now you don't have to avoid me anymore, and you can stop sitting with the girls to prove your point, and join us again instead." He triumphantly continued.

What now?

You blanked. "I'm sorry?" You managed to ask.

"I get that I hurt you by saying your weren't a proper girl, but you don't have to pretend to prove your point by trying to be one." James stated, proud of himself that he figured it out.

"Because I can see that you don't like it, like your face gets all gloomy which is understandable because it isn't really your circle of people."

You stared at him, an incredulous look on your face.

"Fuck you James." You said, your voice coming out softer than you'd hoped. Tears were welling up again, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I do want that to be my circle of people? That I don't just want to be one of the guys all the time? Is it that crazy to think that I'm still a girl with feelings? That I want to feel pretty too? That I don't like being told by my supposed best friend that I'm basically ugly? That I hate to be compared to other girls like that?"

You were ranting and James had taken a step back, surprised by your outburst.

"No, that's not what I-", James tried to salvage the situation but you weren't having it.

"You've told me that stuff for as long as I can remember and I never told you otherwise because I was scared that you'd no longer want to hang out with me for not being a 'chill friend'. But you know what, I no longer want you to."

At this point, you angrily wiped your eyes to get rid of tears that were threatening to spill. "So fuck you". With that, you brushed past him, escaping upstairs to your room.

James Fleamont Potter felt absolutely miserable.

If anyone told James that you'd ever be more on his mind than Lily, he would call them ridiculous. But here he was, another week had passed and he was staring at your back as you were leaving with your friends for Hogsmeade again.

You weren't wearing your school uniform and robes anymore and James was surprised to see you wearing one of what he knew to be Lily's dresses.

'It suited you more than it suited Lily.' The unwarranted thought flashed through his mind and he shook his head with a scoff to himself. What was going on?

James also noticed that your hair was brushed and shining with a butterfly clip holding your hair in a bun. He wondered when you decided to change your hairstyle because he found that it framed your face perfectly.

'Not ridiculous at all,' he understood.

You looked absolutely perfect.

You turned your face a little and James could feel his head reeling. Have you always been this glowing? Was he just simply missing you? He didn't even realize that he hadn't spared Lily a glance- until Sirius mentioned her while they were having a drink - and a strange feeling washed over him at the thought.

You were running from Filch.

'Fuck I shouldn't have studied after hours, curfew was probably hours ago," you cursed to yourself and took a sharp right turn. You were trying to reach the secret passage right behind the big statue on the fourth floor when you saw the hallway light up because of Filches torch.

Forcing your legs to move faster, you were suddenly grabbed by the wrist. A hand was clasped over your mouth and you felt a heavy cloth fall over you.

You recognised the person pressed to your back immediately and tried not to melt in his embrace as Filch walked straight past the two of you, covered in the invisibility cloak.

You could feel his breath against your temple. His hand had dropped from your mouth, instead draping across your stomach now to rest on your side. The other held out in front of you to create space under the cloak. You shifted a little and finally turned your head and lifted it to look at him and thank him but you were unable to say anything for a moment.

You simply admired him.

The proximity of the two of you in that intimate embrace had something fluttering in your stomach and you harshly jerked away in denial when your feelings hit you.

Oh no.

Now, all suddenly? What changed? Does it really take one random moment to flip your world upside down?

You rushed to push the invisibility cloak out of your way and then left without sparing James another glance.

James couldn't force his legs to move to run after you, still reeling from about the exact same epiphany that you'd just run away from. Your gaze, his fast beating heart and the urge he had felt to lean down for a kiss had confirmed his conflicted feelings of the past few days since he'd seen you leave for Hogsmeade.

The following morning, you'd had the chance to properly process the happenings of last night.

Your conclusion was that you felt guilty that you hadn't even expressed your gratitude. It was rude, you figured. Even if you were overwhelmed by the sudden wave of realization that came crashing down on you, it was rude.

So you pushed your confused feelings aside and marched up to him when you found him in the great hall.

"Thanks, I owe you." You awkwardly said, stopping at his spot at the Gryffindor table. All while absolutely not having forgotten about the fact that the last time you had said something to him, you'd flipped him off and told him to go fuck himself.

James was absolutely beaming. "Yeah you do, but no worries, I'll cash it in right away." This was his chance. He would make up for his behavior and act on his feelings right now.

"How about a date?"

There was a long silence. Your heart plummeted to the ground. Right. James. Lily. Lily and James.

"What am I a magician?" You finally managed to sarcastically retort. "I'm a convincing person but not a miracle worker." You pulled your hand through your hair as you looked around the great hall to see if you could spot Lily.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do." You forced a smile.

James, who had been mostly confused at your words, disregarded it completely in delight at your acceptance to go out with him, even if it seemed somewhat reluctant. Not that it would matter because he was going to prove what an amazing boyfriend he could be. If you'd accept him, of course.

He was grinning from ear to ear, which you mistook as excitement at the prospect of a potential date with Lily. So when you abruptly turned on your heels and marched over to Lily, James watched you confusedly.

And when he heard you try to talk Lily into going out with him, he wanted to crawl in a ditch and die. He stood there, frozen and recounting how you could've interpreted that wrongly.

You returned to him after a while with an apologetic smile. "Yeah sorry Prongs, she-"

"You", he blurted out.

You raised your eyebrows. "Me?" You repeated back.

"The date, I meant you. A-and me of course. Us, like you and me on a date. Together. I thought maybe Hogsmeade?" He managed to force the words out nervously.

There was a long silence and James' shoulders slumped a little. Even more when you finally answered.

"Uh, no?" You said in a questioning manner. James officially wanted to die now.

"You're sweet James, and I don't think you do it on purpose but you're not interested in me like that." You began, trying to convince not only James, but yourself as well.

James opened his mouth to argue but you quickly interrupted him before he could properly do so.

"James, you really don't. And you asking me out on a date when you've quite literally been drooling over Lily just last week as you have been doing for the past 5 years, that's not very nice to me." You frowned.

"Oh." He whispered. He was once again at a lack of words for a moment. Terrible new habit, he thought. This was not how he thought it would go.

"I'd still gladly go with you to Hogsmeade though?" You offered. "Just you know, not as an easy second choice date while you are obviously head over heels with her."

'I'm not', he wanted to tell you, but it was obvious that you wouldn't believe him. "Yeah okay," he weakly smiled. "Just the two of us though."

You nodded and stepped forward, wrapped your arms around him and he leaned into you, returning the hug.

With his face pressed in your hair, eyes closed, he decided that this situation wasn't too bad. He's fought for Lily's affection for years. He'd fight harder for yours.

Part two

[iicehoon]

LEVEL UP | STREAMER!SOOBIN X READER

︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

"NO NO NO NO," you heard your boyfriend, Soobin, yell in despair.

Glancing at the Snoopy-themed clock, it read 2:30 AM, marking five hours since he started streaming. You recalled his excitement about being sponsored by the game, hoping for future offers if it goes well.

Rising from your spot on the shared bed, you crossed the dimly lit hall to quietly open the door to his room. He remained intensely focused on the screen, the soft clicks of his mechanical keyboard echoing as you entered. Frustrated sighs followed each demise of his character on screen.

"Chat, you don't understand," he started, setting aside his keyboard and mouse. "No username, I am not taking backseat gaming or any advice from you. The last time I did that, it made me restart the ENTIRE game."

You chuckled softly, watching your boyfriend ruffle his hair in frustration. His slouched shoulders hinted that he was nearing his breaking point and pretty ready to end the stream.

"Binnie," you called out, settling into the beanbag adjacent to his desk.

Soobin perked up instantly at the sound of his name, swiftly removing his earbuds as he rose to approach you. "When did you come in?" he asked, crouching down to your level. Leaning in, he planted a kiss on your lips before gently settling on top of you, eliciting a surprised yelp at his sudden weight.

"You've been at it for five hours, hun," you said, poking his side playfully until he squirmed and finally got up after the tenth poke.

"Come here, and I'll show you why," he motioned you over, patting his lap. His followers knew about you because he couldn't help but talk about you at times, and they have seen your face from the times you brought him snacks or a drink during his streams.

"Hi Chat," You smiled, bringing your face closer to his webcam and giving them a little wave when you settled on his lap.

"Okay," Soobin placed his chin on your shoulder and returned his hands to the keyboard and mouse. "Just watch and see why I just can't get past this stupid level."

You weren't as big of a gamer as Soobin, but you knew your way around from the games he played or even those you tried yourself from the days when he didn't want to be at his computer.

One of the perks of having a gamer boyfriend who was also a popular streamer was having access to his Steam account and his credits to buy games that piqued your interest, often discovered from TikTok.

Your eyes analyzed his movements, and you couldn't help but giggle when he dropped his head, hitting the back of your neck. "I don't understand why it's not working," he sighed in frustration.

"Well, it's because you're not hitting that when you're doing your runs," you explained, gently removing his hands from the setup in front of you. Slowly, you moved his character over to what you believed was the key element for him to pass this level. "See, it's breakable with that TNT sign on it."

You restarted the level and began to execute your run. As you played, Soobin's eyes moved back and forth between his main screen and your side profile, a lovestruck smile spreading across his face, just as his chat had claimed always happened whenever you were in his peripheral vision.

His smile widened as you cheered, successfully passing the level he had spent the majority of his time on. "Wait, babe, you're crazy good," he exclaimed, his jaw-dropping in amazement at the winning transition.

"I'm just better than you, Soobie boobie" you teased, twisting slightly to face him and sticking out your tongue.

He shook his head, laughing, and wrapped his arms tighter around your waist, giving you a quick peck on your cheek.

His joyful expression quickly shifted to one of furrowed eyebrows as he read his chat.

"Chat, she IS NOT replacing me," he groaned, "And stop asking if she's single. I'll literally make out with her right here, right now."

an | there is no specific game I'm referencing, I couldn't really think of one but if anyone has an idea, I can make it for another one!

[mouwrites]

Creepypasta/MH - How They Would Welcome You Back (after not seeing you for a while)

Characters: Nina the Killer, Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, Tim/Masky, Jane the Killer

Nina

Shouts your name when she sees you, and BOLTS into you

She crashes against you, almost losing her balance from the sheer force

Her arms are flung around you, pinning your own arms to your sides with surprising strength

"Eek! Y/n! Aah... I missed you so much!"

She giggles as she finally lets you go, settling her hands on your shoulders while she looks at you with a huge smile

She compliments your appearance eagerly, and blushes when you do the same

She can't stop giggling throughout the whole process though

Literally nonstop... but she's just so happy!!

Normally she'd suggest a more exciting hangout, like stalking people at the mall or... y'know... putting the laughter in slaughter or smth legal activities

But this time she just wants to stay home and hold you :3

And maybe watch a movie with ice cream too!

Jeff

Pretends to be all nonchalant about it

"Oh, you're back. Hey."

Especially if others are around

But his eyes keep lingering on you, and though you're across the room it feels like he's looming over you

His presence is just so..... unsettling? Like, more than usual lol

Bro's just watching so closely

It'd make anyone nervous, but if you're dating Jeff you're definitely crazy enough not to be too disturbed

Because you know what's actually waiting for you when you're alone

Not murder, but:

He throws an arm around your shoulder and another under your knees, scooping you up wordlessly

Then it's cuddle time :]

He'll be doing something else while you cuddle, and he won't say anything, but if you try to move or get up he'll glare daggers at you

In his mind, you're making up for lost time together

Eyeless Jack

He'd have been waiting for your return

No matter how long he had to wait, he was always ready

Clean home (well, as clean as a cannibalistic demon's home can be), hot food ready, fluffy blankets on the bed...

So when you finally do come, he gets straight to the point

The point being spoiling you ofc

He loves taking care of you; that's his way of showing affection

So he's just excited to finally do that again!

He wouldn't have given you any physical affection when seeing you I think

The most he'd have done would've been to grab your hand to lead you along

"Y/n! I'm so glad to see you again... come on, everything's ready for you."

Tim/Masky

He's dumbfounded when he sees you again

Like, he just blinks at you

It's as if he never expected you to return :(

"Y/n..?"

Then he pulls you into a hug, finally processing the fact that you're there

The same smell of cigarettes and coffee fills your nose, and you breathe it in deeply

(He's lowkey doing the same with your smell)

The hug finishes with one more super-tight squeeze, then he pulls away to look at your face

"Hey."

He's so smooth guys <3

But on a real note, he's just so surprised to see you; he doesn't know how to react

Trust me though, he's never letting you go again

Jane

I think she'd have something planned too

So when she sees you again, she gets really excited

She tries to keep it somewhat cool though, greeting you warmly with a kiss on the cheek and a hug

But you can tell she's trying not to act excited... she's rocking on her heels way more than "usual" (never)

Finally she tells you to close your eyes, and you can really tell she's excited now

She puts something in your hands and kisses you on the mouth

When you open your eyes, you see a jewelry box in your hand

It's your favorite form of jewelry (ring, necklace, bracelet, anklet, etc) in your favorite gemstone/color!!

She loves seeing you wear the things she gets you, especially when she puts so much thought into them

Just like she did this time ;3

Bit of a different style from the other one, but here we go!! Thank you so much for reading, take care my duckies! <3

(divider by saradika)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Crash and Burn 5

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Tony Stark

Summary: a powerful man comes crashing into your life. Literally.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You sit on the back porch, reading a book as you avoid the dingy tabacco laden walls inside. After claiming a couple slices of pizza, you quickly evacuated, your mom latched onto your guest like gum beneath a diner table. You're happy enough to be alone.

You just want it all done with. You want to be done with him.

Your mom just needs to do one thing. Get the trailer and be done with the man overdosing on his own ego. She's never been on to let things go, especially nothing like this.

The screen door opens and closes. You stay as you are.

“Your chariot awaits, princess,” Tony declares as he approaches. You look up as he stands behind you.

“What do you mean?” You close the book and stand, not liking how his pant leg touches your arm. You face him as his mouth slants, the silver in his goatee catching the dimming sunlight.

“Me. Gonna take you for another ride.” He rests his hand on the wooden railing as you stand on the step below.

“No,” you say bluntly. “I have work tomorrow so I need to go get ready for bed.”

“What’s the matter? If you don’t like pepperoni, you could’ve said something,” he tilts his head. "I thought you had extensive experience with meat... workong in a deli and all."

“Really? You know this isn’t about the pizza,” you sneer.

“I know what it’s about as well as you.” He steps closer and looks down at you. “It’s this.”

He swirls his finger between you.

You narrow your eyes and grimace. “This... what?”

“Sexual tension. It’s like a noose, isn’t it? I’m close to gagging.”

You glare back at him, “you really believe every woman on earth wants you?”

“I know it so let's stop fucking around just get to the fucking.” He winks.

You laugh. A snort then a scoff then a guffaw. “Wow, what a line. Look you can buy us pizza and replace what you owe us but I'm nor impressed. You city people think we're all just a bunch of trailer trash and maybe we are, doesn't mean we wanna be like you.”

“Oh, but you definitely want me,” he intones.

You sigh, “I want to go to my room and never see you again.”

“I like that. The hard-to-get thing always gets me going.” He gets closer and you lean away.

“The hard to stand thing doesn't do it for me,” you retort. “Thanks for doing the bare minimum but I'm over it. Either we get what you destroyed or you go back and laugh at your little mistake with your rich buddies.”

“You're sounding bitter, sweetheart. Why don't you let me give you some sugar?” He reaches for you and you dodge his hand.

“Please, quit that. I told you, I am not into it.”

“You aren't? Well your mom sure is. Yeah, we made quite the deal. She's going to get her trailer and an empty nest.” He puts his hands out in nonchalance, “what can I say? I'm a great negotiator.”

“What–”

“Well, I mean you're not going anywhere here. Working at a deli and for what? I told her, you don't gotta be stuck here. Eating off her table, living under her roof. You're an adult.” He crosses his arms and smirks.

Yep, that sounds like your mom. She's reminded you a billion times how you've burdened her with your existence, just as your grandmother does to her. And he plucked on that string until he hit a harmony.

“What did you do?” You ask.

“You make it sound like I did something wrong. Sweetheart, I'm doing you a favour. I'm getting you out of this pit. A girl like you, you can't hope for better because I'll tell you something, there's nothing out there better than Tony Stark.”

He preens in victory. You squint and clap the book against your leg.

“Come on, everyone should see New York at least once,” he tries to tap your nose and you evade him, but not entirely. Instead, he hits your chest and you feel a sudden constriction across it.

Your ripped up by your chest as metal expands and twists around your torso. You shriek as you fly upwards, encased in a cocoon the blocks out the wind. The propulsion of the suit has you disoriented and rattling.

You hear a whir and look over to see the marquee red and gold of the iconic Iron Man. Tony grabs you, your gauntlet caught against his like a magnet, and he zooms off onto sky, dragging you with him. You cry out as you can do nothing but flail.

“Relax, sweetheart,” he voice comes through the speakers built into the helmet, “you don't wanna pass out in this thing. Trust me.”

“What the hellllllll!” You holler.

“Just wait till you see that New York skyline,” he chortles.

Your disbelief paralyses you. How can he do this? Well, you can't stop him. He's been enabled his whole life and you've just become another pawn to his games.

[thollandneedy]

Don't Tell 'Em- Peter Parker

a/n: I've been OBSESSED by this prompt his week, so... here it is

Warnings: None, but i'ts a bit spicy

Summary: Ned's sister have the biggest crush on Peter, and she thinks he doesn't knows that... but he does

Don’t forget to share, like, comment and leave your ideas here

Bellah’s Masterlist ����

Y/n was madly in love with Peter Parker, but he was best friends with her brother, Ned Leeds

Peter Parker was a popular boy with the girls, and Y/n never believed that she would ever have a chance with him. The boy was admired for his intelligence and beauty, always helping people to pass their exams or study, making his reputation as a nerdy loser be replaced by a sexy tutor. Since the first time Ned had brought Peter to his house, Y/n had lurked on the stairs watching the boys play video games. Even though she was two years younger, Y/n ended up developing a crush on Peter, which only blossomed over the years. 

On Y/n's 16th birthday, the girl decided to throw a pool party, inviting some close friends over for an afternoon of cocktails. Ned, in order not to be alone, ended up calling Peter as his companion, and at that moment, Y/n came up with a plan to get what she so desperately wanted.

A kiss from her brother's best friend 

On Saturday morning, Y/n woke up determined to get Peter's attention. In a few weeks' time, he would be moving to Massachusetts because of the university scholarship he had won at MIT. Taking advantage of the fact that he and Michelle Jones had broken up for God knows what reason, the girl had to be meticulous in her plan if she wanted it to work.

"Y/n, be serious. He's not going to kiss you." Lily, Y/n's friend says, rolling her body onto the king-size bed,

"He probably doesn't even know you like him." Audrey, also Y/n's friend, agrees with Lily.

"You're the worst best friends in the world, you know that?" Y/n grumbles, as she finishes the details of her PowerPoint presentation on her laptop. "Are you ready?" 

Lily, the redhead, nods, but sits down next to the girl, while Audrey puts her blonde hair up in a high bun, waiting for Y/n to take action. The three of them look at each other, and with an inspired smile, Y/n presses the "Enter" key to make her five-step presentation work.

"First step, the mood. It needs to be outgoing and relaxed, because he doesn't cope well with pressure. The music has to be lively, and the atmosphere has to be light. So no awkward or sexual talk from his side"

"That's going to be difficult. Are we going to have a girl group and not talk about sex and love experiences?" Lily says.

"Not around him. I don't want him to think I'm a sex freak." Y/n explains to her friend.

"You literally had laser hair removal yesterday, and you're a virgin." Audrey comments with a smile as she remembers her friend's painful story.

"Are you going to help me or not?" Y/n asks her friends, who only respond with silence. "Next step, Ned. We need Ned to fill up with tasks so that he can leave Peter alone, and I can talk to him."

Y/n moves on to the next slide

"Step three, the conversation. I need to be alone with him, and I want it to be in the middle of the afternoon so we can kiss at sunset." Y/n looks up as she says it, imagining how perfect her first kiss would be.

"Okay, slow down," Lily raises her hand in a stop sign. "You can't even plan the time of the kiss, Y/n. It has to happen naturally."

"Yes, I can, and that brings me to the next slide. The space. I want it to be outside the pool, and probably on the roof. It has a nice view of the suburbs, and you can see some buildings in the background if you squint. The woods will make it cooler at night, and he can even lend me his sweater if I ask." 

Lily and Audrey looked at each other in disbelief at what they were hearing Y/n say. 

"And the last one, is the kiss. I think explaining that would be too weird." The girl crosses her arms, looking at her two friends who were standing next to her, waiting for a reaction while still watching the laptop open to the last slide. "So?"

"You're crazy Y/n." Audrey lets out a loud laugh. "Ned won't leave Peter's side, and if he does, Peter will accompany Ned on whatever. The girls will talk about anything whether they're around him or not, and they might even get drunk and hit on Peter. It might not be cold at night, and he might leave early."

"Facts" Lily agrees, getting up from Y/n's bed. "Let it happen naturally, Y/n. I'm sure it'll be much better."

"Not a fucking chance." Y/n replies sincerely. "It'll be perfect. I know it will. Now, let me show you the thong bikini I bought." The younger girl gets up, goes into the bathroom and closes the door behind her. 

(...)

Afternoon fell, and everything went wrong

The sun disappeared into the dark rain clouds, and most of her friends were stuck in a traffic jam caused by fallen trees in the street. If it hadn't been for other reports of rain, Y/n would have said that this was the biggest storm she had ever seen. Fortunately or unfortunately, Audrey and Lily had left when the rain started to look like it was going to get heavier, leaving only Peter and Ned to stay with her at the house, while the brothers' parents were on a business trip.

"Damn." Y/n commented, looking out of the window at the power of the rain that had washed away several branches on the asphalt.

"I'm sorry about your party. We can celebrate tomorrow." Her brother, Ned, touches her shoulder when he notices the tone of frustration in his sister's voice. 

"We could have a movie afternoon." Peter comments, turning on the television and putting on Netflix.

Y/n takes a deep breath, looking over her shoulder at Ned and Peter, just agreeing with the situation the universe had planned for her. Maybe her friends were right. That plan was unrealistic, and Peter would never kiss her since many other girls his age could provide something better for him. The girl settled down on the brown sofa, pulling a pink blanket over herself and picking at her body as a show of displeasure. 

"Come on, Y/n. We can see whatever you want. I'll let you have a glass of wine." Ned tries to cheer up his sister by offering her alcohol. 

"It's okay, Ned. It's really all right." She lies, annoyed at the lack of her friends.

"How about Barbie? Or Mamma Mia? Or La La Land?! You love that one." Peter recalls his best friend's sister's favorite movies

Y/n smiles at the thought of Peter knowing her tastes.

"La La Land sounds good. Ned, can you make us some popcorn?" The girl smooths her gray sweater over her body, crossing her arms as if waiting. 

"Sure." The dark-haired teenager agreed, getting up to go to the kitchen, leaving Peter and Y/n alone on the sofa. The movie catalog was still open, and the wind was whipping against the glass windows, causing strong gusts that drowned out the sound of popcorn popping in the pot.

Peter watched Y/n, sliding his body closer to her, trying to get close to her ear. The girl dodges at first, looking at him with confusion and an embarrassed smile at their lack of distance.

"I don't know if it'll cheer you up, but I left a present on your bed." The brunette said quietly, as if he were confessing a secret.

"Are you serious?" The girl slowly cracked a smile.

"While you were taking the buoys out of the pool, I went up there. Do you want to go and see?" Peter asks, receiving a silent and excited yes from the younger girl.

"Ned! I'm going to the bedroom to see Peter's present." Y/n shouts as a warning.

"All right! No need to shout." His brother shouts in response. 

Both teenagers follow the stairs to the white door of Y/n's room, which is already ajar. The girl uses one of her hands to pull the door away from her gaze, coming across a white bag positioned on her bed, where her laptop was also open, but turned on its back. 

"Oh my God, Peter!" Y/n exclaims. "Is it Pandora's?" Y/n smiled, moving towards the present and slowly taking off the pink satin bow that was decorating it. 

While the girl was distracted by the present, Parker slowly closed the door behind him so that it wouldn't make a sound. His hands touched the door lock, turning it so that no one else could enter the room. The brunette smiled to himself, looking down at his feet on the nude carpet, and then over to his laptop, which had a flap open. Reading the contents of the slide once more, he closes the laptop with one of his hands and says:

"So you were planning to kiss me?" Peter asks, causing Y/n to immediately stop admiring the necklace with a pink heart-shaped stone. 

"W-what?" Y/n's trembling voice comes out of her mouth without strength, while her eyes stare at him in amazement.

"When I got to your room, your laptop was open, and I ended up seeing what was on it, out of curiosity, since my name was marked with stars and flowers." Peter comments, sliding his fingers across the comforter of the bed. 

"That's not... actually I, I..." Y/n tried to find the right words, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It was Lily's. She was dying to kiss you, and she shared this presentation by email." Y/n lies, causing Peter to smile.

"Y/n, I'm a very intelligent person, you know?" Parker comments, walking towards the younger woman. "And in 18 years of life, I've noticed a lot of things around me, especially about women. And I know when someone is interested in me." 

"Well, you're not so good because you haven't noticed, Lily." Y/n raises both hands in an "oops" gesture. 

"But I did notice you." Parker comments. "I saw all the times you looked at my body when I swam with your brother, how you passed by my table in the cafeteria more than four times just to hear what I was saying to other people, and how you turn red when I get close to you." The boy's voice became more present as the distance was being broken. 

Did the room seem smaller and smaller, or was he simply getting closer?

"I don't know what you're talking about." Y/n still denies it.

Peter pretended to agree, watching the girl in front of him from head to toe. He could hear her heart beating faster, and how her breathing became more and more altered as he approached her as if she were prey. The boy nodded, looking to the side of the room in an attempt to avert his gaze.

"Of course. I guess I really did get mixed up. You wouldn't cause this situation between me and Ned, would you? I mean, me kissing his sister?. He'd be furious with me." The brunette says.

"Yes, he would." Y/n couldn't take her eyes off Peter's thin, pink lips.

The tension was palpable, and even though his conscience wanted to weigh on his mind, Y/n's consciousness disappeared completely when his body was pulled to Peter's like a magnet. In a silent instant, their eyes connected as a request for confirmation that this was really going to happen, and their mouths met in a desperate movement. 

Peter slipped one of his hands around Y/n's waist, pulling her closer to him. The girl's red nails ran down the boy's neck, sending exciting shivers down his spine. The girl felt completely taken over when her back met the wall of her room and Peter's body pressed against her. Her tongue, desperate, was slowly guided by the brunette, as the kiss was guided by him. Low moans were audible through Parker's super-hearing, causing a mutual response. One of his hands made small circles on the girl's jeans-covered thigh, and unconsciously, she lifted it, bringing his lap closer to hers. Before he knew it, she was on his lap.

"Holy shit." Y/n said between wet kisses.

"Is that what you wanted?" Peter teases.

"That was much better than the necklace." The girl smiles.

"Y/N!" Ned knocks on the door, causing the couple to let go almost immediately, fixing their hair and crumpled clothes.

"WAIT!" The girl says, taking a deep breath and unlocking the door.

"What were you doing?" Ned asks, looking at Peter, who is sitting on his sister's bed analyzing the gift he himself had given her, pretending to be far away from the situation.

In an unscripted pause, Y/n looks at Peter for a moment, then returns his attention to his brother, looking for an alternative answer. 

"Just showing the necklace." Y/n smiles without showing his teeth.

"The popcorn's ready and so are the sweets. Let's go?" The brunette asks, turning away from his sister and heading for the stairs.

Y/n takes a deep breath, feeling Peter's hands on her back. His hot breath blows against the girl's ear, and he says as naughtily as possible before heading downstairs. 

"Don't tell your brother about this"

[javierpena-inatacvest]

This gif makes me imagine when Osita is pregnant with Lucy, and even though her bump isn't visible yet, Javi can't stop kissing Osita's stomach 😩😩😩😩😩

https://www.tumblr.com/iamasaddie/740523139573907456/just-gonna-leave-it-here-and-go-to-sleep

OMG NON 😭😩 Please, this is the SWEETEST THING, his hand is literally glued to her stomach the moment she finds out she's pregnant 🥺

Oh, Baby!

"Are you gonna let me get up to go pee, or are you gonna need to follow me to the bathroom so you can keep touching my belly?" You giggled, reluctantly removing Javi's palm splayed across your stomach, gently rubbing soft circles along your skin as the two of you laid tangled in the warm sheets of your bed.

"Fine, I guess..." With a pouty frown, Javi hesitantly lifted his hand off your stomach, his sweet, brown puppy dog eyes following you all the way to the ensuite attached to your bedroom as you sat down to pee for what felt like the 17th time since getting ready for bed.

"You've known I'm pregnant for a whopping 4 hours and you're already pouting because God forbid I have to go take a piss and you can't be glued to my hip. Are you gonna survive when you have to go into work on Monday? I don't think that you are." You teased, snickering to yourself as you sat on the toilet, peaking your head out of the open doorframe just enough to see Javi laughing and playfully rolling his eyes at you, elbow propped up as his head rested against his hand while he laid on the bed, admiring you from afar.

Quickly flushing and washing your hands, you scurried back into bed, snuggling under the sheets to be greeted by Javi's embrace, his arms wrapping around your body and pulling you in against his chest, one hand cradling the back of your head while the other made its way back to its new residence on your stomach, leaning down to pepper kisses across your belly, making you squeal and squirm in delight.

"I can't believe we're gonna have a baby. We're really gonna have a baby and our own little family. Fuck, I'm so fucking happy. I love you so much. I love the both of you so much." Javi sniffed, trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes, looking up at you with an awestruck grin on his face as his hand rubbed back and forth across your stomach.

"Stop, you're gonna make me cry now, too, jerk!" You huffed, wiping your wet cheeks that now hurt from how big your smile had grown, "We love you so much too, Jav." Placing your hand over top the one he had flushed against your belly, you tilted your head in to meet his lips in a soft and tender kiss, pulling away after planting another kiss on his cheek and softly whispering in his ear. "But you gotta ease up the grip there, Peña, or you're gonna make me pee again."

OKAY GOOBYE WHILE I SCREAM I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[tomsvouge]

Bad Idea Right?

Pairings: Ex!Joe burrow x Ex!Reader Warnings:Alcohol use, situationship, mentions of sex Summary- What happens when y/n gets a text message from someone in her past that her friends are not fond of? Her friends tell her not to go but it can’t be a bad idea…. right?

Who would have thought I would end the night with him, In his bed cuddled with him like we are together. Should I regret it? Probably. Do I regret it? Hell no! Have you seen this man he is literally a walking hercules and who am I to block an opportunity that I was given. Anyways, you may be asking, "y/n what the heck are you even talking about?". Well let's go back to earlier in the day where everything started.

My friends and I were talking about throwing a party and I couldn't be more excited. I needed something to get my mind off of him. Me and Joe are kinda rocky when it comes to a relationship. We broke up about two months ago. Usually when two people break up they dont talk to each other, buttttt me and Joe have been sneaking around for the past two weeks. No one knows about this, not my friends, not his friends just sneaking around like two teenagers. 

As we all sit on my couch we start talking about party details, y’know the time, who to invite the food, all that good boring stuff when out of nowhere melody says this.

“Well since we're talking about personal invites I don't think you should invite Joe y/n”- Melody 

“Why would I invite Joe? We're done. Over” I said lying through my teeth knowing that we were still hooking up.

“I'm just saying you seem to be tense each time you see him. Like that one time we were watching tv and his Bose ad came on. You looked like you saw a ghost.” She says laughing.

“I was Just shocked at his dance moves, I thought I taught him better when we took that dance class.” and that was true we did take a dance class but let's just say, Joeys not dancing for a while.

“I wasn't the worst i've seen but also not the best”- Kaylee says while  writing something down.

OK! Can we stop talking about my ex, kinda getting weird. 

“Ok but just know Joe Burrow is not allowed through these doors.” Melody says in a serious tone.

“Got it Not allowed through the doors.” I say looking at her. 

“I'll just let him in the backyard” I say in my head.

Getting ready for the party I put on my outfit and did my makeup. As I'm putting on my mascara I get a facetime. I look at the screen and immediately knew it was joe as his contact name is “LOSER NOT WORTH MENTIONING🩷” showed up. Reluctantly I picked up the phone.

“What?” I say in a aggravated tone 

“Well hello to you too” Joe says, rolling his eyes on the other side of the phone.

 “What are you doing?” he says, trying to change the vibe of the call.

Getting ready-i say in a sassy tone.

“For?”- Joe

“My party”-y/n

“And i didnt get an invite?” joe says with that cocky smile on his face 

“Didn't think you needed one considering we were not really together”- I say side eyeing him so hard you could feel it.

“Just because we're not together doesn't mean we cant be friends”- joe 

“If this is what you call just friends I would love to see what you do with people you hate.” i say laughing

“You know what i mean” - Joe

“Friends dont have sex nearly every night and talk to each other the way we do.”- y/n

“Well friends also don't hide things from each other” Joe says, placing the phone down so I could see him.

“I didn't invite you because you are not allowed to come, you are not exactly on my friend's good side right now.”- y/n

 My friend did not like Joeto much after the shit they had heard about him from endless phone calls to late night gossip sessions at the house. He didn't hurt me like cheat or anything. He is actually a nice guy but anyone who plays mind games and gaslights is a no no in my friend's book.

“Nothing new, I wasn't on their good side when we were together.”- Joe

“But since I can't come to you, how about you come to me?”- Joe 

“And why would I do that?” I genuinely asked because who was he to think I would leave my own party for him.

Because we can't get enough of each other no matter how hard we try we both know that we will all go back.

And Joe was right, no matter how hard I tried to move on, no one seemed to understand me like Joe does. He knows everything about me. He accepts me for who I am and vice versa. Still sad we didn't work out due to commitment and trust issues. I think when the time's right Joe and I will be perfect for eachother.

“Well I'll think about it.”- I say 

“Good, let me know when you decide.” - Joe

I was having the time of my life. My friends made sure I didn't even think about joe. So much that I forgot to even remind him if I was coming or not. 

In the middle of taking group shots I feel a vibrate coming from my hip.

LOSER NOT WORTH MENTIONING🩷- u still coming??

“Don't do it.”-Kaylee says, looking over my shoulder.

“Who said I was?”

“You didn't say that but the look on your face said otherwise.”

“Okay but would you pass up a chance to just go back to your ex for one night.” 

“One night more like two weeks but she didn't need to know that right now.”

“No I wouldn't, he cheated and I'll be damned if I go back to him just to disrespect myself again.”

“Well I won't if i will make you happy.”

“Good”

Okay sooo im going to his house. You guys may say I have little respect for myself but all the respect leaves my body when I see that man. You get in a room alone with Joe Burrow and see how long you last without being all over him. Plus, can't be that bad of an idea right?

With my luck the rain decided to pour harder and completely drench me. Rushing to my car I hopped in and started it. I quickly texted Joe back telling him I was on my way. Thankfully The drive from my house to joes is not that far at all. Getting out of the car rushing to get to the front door as the rain came down on me. When I kid you not to say this man is a QB he is not quick on his feet off the field. I literally took him forever to open the door. 

Walking in the house I'm immediately tackled into hugs and kisses . After a while pushing wavy from him I decided I needed to put my clothes somewhere because wet clothes just don't feel comfortable. 

Eventually me and Joe decided to chill on the couch and talk for a while. And lets just say after the talk and cuddles the door was locked to that bedroom and that's how we got to this morning 

I woke up to like a million texts from my friends asking me why I disappeared in the middle of the party and I just told them all that I didn't feel well and went up early to sleep. Looking over left I see Joe sleeping with his arms wrapped around me. Part of me felt bad for lying to my friends about going to sleep early but technically i did lie i said I was sleep I just didn't say where.

hey guys! I'm gonna try to start putting out more fics . I chose to do this as a fun hobby and I just don't want it to feel and chore or job but if you want to request fics you are welcome to do so 🩷

[cherryc1nnam0n]

Breeding season | Best boys (Steve, Billy, Eddie) x FEM!Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend's have always been competitive, what happens when you want to have a baby and they all want to contribute? Breeding season is open!

Cw: Lots of cum, the boys are crazy for reader, competition, lots of swearing, lots of smut, heavy breeding kink, big dicks, belly bulges, cum inflation, overall filth so, enjoy!

"No! I can do it better!"

"Dude you can't even hold your breath for one minute!"

"Says who?!"

"Me that I had to pull your ass out of the pool last summer!"

The bickering continues as you try and zone out of it, your boyfriends always had something to fight about, snapping at each other and then making out furiously with each other

You have been dating Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson since 1985, the three boys ganged up on you one summer and since then they have been up your ass (literally)

It's fall in Hawkins of 1992, your favorite season of the year, perfect for taking walks around town with the constant bickering of your boys, that are no longer boys but grown ass men that fight like they're still in highschool

You're walking at the front of them three, wearing a sweater as the cold wind blows through you, you sigh when you see a couple with their baby, wrapped in a bundle as they sit at the kid's park, happily taking care of their first born that plays in the games, you stop to stare at them, dreamily imagining the woman as yourself and your boyfriends

"Y/n? Y/n you okay?" You hear Steve talk to you as he places his hands on your shoulders "Baby..."

"I-I-" you begin, the other two men stopping their chatting "I want to have a baby" you finally say, making them three perk up

Their eyes lock on what you're seeing and their hearts melt, something awakening in them

"You sure about it?" Billy asks you, you turn to look at them

They have changed with the years, Billy has a dad bod, he still works out but has kept a belly and has a scruff on his chin and a mustache, his mullet is still here, but a little bit shorter, Steve remains with his perfect coifed hair, but a beard is evident in his face, he has the same complexion as always and Eddie, he has more tattoos, his hair is still long but he now ties it up, and he has the biggest beard of them all.

You have aged too, beautifully as they say, and you have been thinking about it for a long time, not just right now, you want a family and you want it with them and now, you switched your birth control for vitamins some months ago and now you're ready to have the talk

"Yes, I'm ready and I want a baby, from one of you, all of you" you say

The idea of three babies, one for each man makes you feel so full and happy

You imagined them all as girls, because believe me, they're all a girl dad

One cute blonde girl, with ocean eyes, you would name her Maysie, one with straight brown hair and freckles, that would be Alice, and an unruly head of curls and doe eyes would be Amelia

They were looking at you like they wanted to eat you alive, they wanted this and they wanted to see you pregnant, so, another competition started

~•~

"No! No! No! You do it like this okay?!"

"Get out of the way Munson, I can do it better!"

"Your mom can do it better!-sorry sweetheart"

You rolled your eyes at their antics, tired of them not pleasing you so you sat up, butt naked in front of them in the bed

"Okay enough!" They all look at you "Billy, you fuck Eddie, Steve come here and fuck me already!"

They scrambled to do as they're told, moans filling the room as Billy starts to fucks into Eddie's tight ass

"Fuck! You're so tight" he moans as he starts to set a brutal pace

Eddie is just a moaning mess, meanwhile Steve is buried in your pussy, hips snapping against your's as his huge cock fills you up

"Fuck baby, you're so wet for me" he moans, holding your legs up in a mating press, he wanted to get you pregnant probably the most

"Mmmm Steve, gonna cum baby" you moan at him, sloppily making out as he whines into your mouth from how you clench around him

"Gonna cum baby, fuck, fuck!" He whined as he stills inside you, groaning loudly

You're snapped out of your thoughts by Eddie's protests of wanting to cum

"No, it's my turn to fuck our girl, can't waste my cum in you" Billy said

Turning you on your belly he angles his dick and fills you up, your eyes roll back and you feel him bulge in your belly, he's probably the biggest one of them three, he fucks into you brutally, just as he was fucking Eddie a while ago

Meanwhile Eddie and Steve make out as they masturbate each other, whining into each other's mouths

"Mmmm gonna fill you up baby, fuck I'm so close"

The mix of your cum and Steve's makes it easier for him to fuck into you, still tight around his cock nonetheless

"Fuck baby, you're milking me so good~" he moans

You feel your climax approaching, being overstimulated already, you cum hard around his cock, queening him like a viper, delicious

"Fuuuuck" he groans filling you with his cum

"Get your hands off me Harrington!" You hear Eddie whining behind you

Soon his calloused hands grab you, laying you on your side as he thrusts into you next to your twitching body

His dick was big too, actually all of them are, you were so lucky you got three boys with huge dicks all for you

"Fuck baby, so wet, your pussy is such a mess" he said in your ear

Holding your leg up while he thrusts into you, making out with him while the other two clean each other up

With a loud moan into Eddie's mouth you came again, he thrusted into you so hard he moved you up the bed, and he came into you

"It will definitely take"

~•~

Some months later, you started to show pregnancy signs, vomits, nausea and some cravings

So you got a test done and...

"It's positive!"

The three men cheered, they didn't care who the father was, they were happy they were having a baby!

The pregnancy was beautiful, your boys took great care of you, your belly grew bigger each month and when you went to know what gender your baby was you were so happy it was a girl!

When said baby was born, you could definitely tell whose baby it was

"Welcome to the world Amelia" you said to the head of curls wrapped in a bundle, cooing back at you

Amelia Munson grew slowly, she was just like her dad, she learnt how to crawl really late, she didn't know how to sit properly without falling to her side and giggling, she loved loud noises so when her dad played guitar she would yell and coo at him, finally when she was 1 year old, you were pregnant again

With Amy being all chaotic and you being pregnant as fuck, Eddie took it in him to take care of his daughter and you, while the other two worked and provided to the house

When your second girl was born, she had a head of brown hair and freckles, Steve's daughter, Alice Harrington was beautiful, just like you predicted it

"Amy! Don't poke your sister's eyes!" You said at the girl who was curious about her sister in her cradle

Amy was growing bigger with time, being more chaotic and unruly, truly like a Munson, meanwhile Alice was calm and collected, they were two and 1 year old now

Your girls were so beautiful, and they seemed to get along greatly, now you just needed a final baby, a Hargrove baby

And said baby came soon enough

The curly blonde baby joined the family some months later, she was just as beautiful, Maysie Hargrove was a copy of her dad

One year later...

With your family now all big and beautiful you were more than happy, complete

You sighed happily as you watched Steve and Eddie play with their girls while Billy carried his girl, too afraid of letting her explore

You were so happy with the family you've built, complete...

Breeding season did catch...

[thesharkwhalewhoohooooo]

Bridget x Fem! Oc

In which a goddess falls for a mortal, a very pretty mortal.

"What's up babes." Circe smirked, wrapping her arms around Bridget and pushing her face into the hair that covered her shoulder.

"Circe! Don't scare me like that!" Bridget giggled out, the redhead merely chuckled.

"What have you made this time?" The goddess looked down at the two trays she had in her hands, arching an eyebrow at the light purple cookies.

"Purple? Are you finally broadening your pink horizons?" She took her hands away from her, instead walking alongside her as she waited for an answer.

"It's for Megara! She's having a tea party and commissioned for these cookies, why?" She eventually asked, seeing Circe's mouth open a bit.

"If I knew you were coming, i'd have accepted the invitation."

"Oh, i'm not! She just commissioned for them." Bridget shrugged, continuing her way to Megara's dorm.

"Mh, all right then." She glared at Hook, where he was stood at the corner right where Bridget was heading didn't sit right with her.

He quickly scattered back to Uliana, probably to tell her to stop whatever she had planned this time or she'll be turned into an eel again.

"Would you like to go out for tea with me then?" She nearly turned Scylla into a sea monster right here and now when she noticed her eyeing Bridget, luckily for her she ran before Circe could think about what she'd look like.

"We can visit Driodius? I know you love him." She referred to the lion she had mysteriously found a few years back, weirdly named after the boy that had a crush on Bridget. Huh, so weird.

"Oh gosh that would be amazing! But..." She looked lost in thought, finally in front of Megara's door.

"What is it? If you don't want to go it's fine too, I won't force you to go my dearest."

"Could we maybe do something in town? Or in the dorms? I've heard that a few boys got lost in the woods and never came back a few weeks ago." She frowned, actually scared for her live when the person who made them disappear was right next to her, besides, they made a beautiful pack of wolves.

"Of course we can my love, we could make cupcakes? I've acquired the very rare, very wonderful and fabulous....." Circe trialed off to build up some tension, then held up a small back of pink feathers from behind her back.

"Fabulous pink flamingo feathers!" Bridget finished for her, squealing, nearly throwing the cookies on the floor in her excitement.

"Right... i'll take those so you can hug her." Megara took the trays from her fellow princess, Circe had knocked for her already, and Bridget launched herself onto Circe, encircling her neck with her arms and landing on her tip toes.

"Oh I love you so much! Thank you thank you thank you!" Circe smiled, wrapping her arms around her waist in response.

"Bye Megara." The princess of Thebe waved and closed the door, and Bridget let go of Circe, looking at the small back in wonder.

"They're so pretty, I don't know what I was expecting but this exceeds all of it! Oh my god I can't wait for tomorrow!"

-

"Okay, how can I help?"

"Sit there and look pretty." Bridget ignored, or didn't notice, how red Circe got, her golden eyes fixated on the Wonderlandian princess as she moved around in her pocket sized kitchen she had in her dorm.

"You know I have magic right? I can help."

"Shhh pretty girl, you already got me flaming feathers." She was definitely doing that on purpose.

"All right... just saying." Circe shrugged, getting comfortable on Bridget's bed and watching her bake.

"Wassup Circe, B." Ella walked in a bit later, Bridget nearly done with the batter, Circe sitting up on her knees when she saw the door open, ready to turn into literally any small animal.

"Hey Ella, she's in her little trance, so I would keep out of the kitchen or you'll maybe get killed." She winced as she recalled when she had a knife stabbed through her hand, though the attention she got from Bridget was enough to put her on a week-long high.

"Right... anyways, you looking forward go Merlin's class tomorrow? He is so confusing sometimes that I literally fall asleep." Circe groaned, falling back onto the bed, holding one of Bridget's pillows, resisting the urge to bury her face with it whilst Ella was looking, knowing she'll tease her about it.

"I love him but why is he so confusing!" She complained into the light pink pillow, even though she was completely content surrounded by all things Bridget.

"Right?! What does he mean when he says that the test'll be about 'everything in all chapters but the first half, then the first quarter of the book shall be of importance blah blah' just say the first 3 chapters, and then 6 through 9! Old bat." Ella rolled her eyes falling onto her back, resting her head on the small of Crice's back.

"Stop fantasising about her girl, she's literally desperate for human interaction, ask her out and give it a try, if you break up then that's it, no bad blood." Ella shrugged, yelping when Circe hit her with the pillow.

"No! Shut up man! She's too precious! I'll just freak out and never kiss her or something like that." Ella snorted, holding her hand in front of her mouth to hide her laugh.

"Yeah right, innocent Bridget, she's literally the least innocent person I know, honestly, how that amount of teenage hormones can fit into such a pink girl astounds me." Circe hit her again.

-

"Who are you." Circe stood tall behind Bridget, crossing her arms and glaring down at the two new students threateningly, gods know that she was a bad judge of character.

"I'm Chloe! Who are you?" Circle narrowed her eyes, her godly height really helped sometimes, the bright redhead glared right back at her, also crossing her arms.

"My name is Circe, daughter of Helios, what do you want from Bri- ouchiieee that hurts Princess." Circe doubled over when Bridget swatted at her stomach, pouting at the pinkette.

"Don't be so dramatic Circe, Chloe, Red, this godly goofball is Circe, if you see her trying to do something to Scylla you should probably step in, Circe, behave." Circe pouted and was about to continue to whine when Ella kicked her hard on the shins.

"God damn you Ella! I'll kick you back you little shit!" She shot back up, starting a staring competition with Ella.

"Fatherless."

"Parentless"

"Stupid."

"That's the best you can come up with?" Circe smirked down at Ella's weak rebuttal.

"Says the fatherless."

"I have a father!"

"He doesn't love you then!"

"How would you know that!"

"Cause I fucked him that's why!"

"Well fuck you you stupid-!"

"Okay girls, let's calm down a bit, we have cupcakes to hand out after all!" Bridget placed a hand on Circe's, who quickly intertwined them and sneakily kicked Ella, who glared at her.

"Will do mom." Ella sarcastically replied, but helped hand out cupcakes nonetheless.

The two newcomers, who had been in conversation with Bridget, looked at each other with high eyebrows.

"Help." Circe commanded, shoving trays into their hands, quickly following after Bridget once she grabbed her own again.

"What's that all about?" Red frowned.

"Oh! I'm pretty sure that Circe's whole story is that she always feels jealous and is never the one, so she turns men into animals etcetera, maybe your mom was the one that made her feel like that! Also, we should probably stop that from happening too, because she's going to go on a rampage soon because she realises that she'll never be the one ever again." Chloe finished her little info dump, Red staying quiet a bit to process that all.

"So not only will my mom turn into a maniac, she turns someone else into a maniac too! How wonderful."

-

"Bridget! Where are y-."

"What's wrong?" Bridget popped up besides Circe, who quickly picked her up and wrapped her arms around her.

"Princess, where were you?" She questioned into her neck, afraid she'd have lost her girl in the woods.

"Well, I saw a pretty pink flower, would you like to see?" Circe nodded into her neck, slowly letting her down, holding her hand as she led her to where she found the flower.

"How adorable, it's really pretty." Bridget hummed, staring at the flower.

"Are we sure we should be stalking a goddess?"

"Shut up Blue, they're walking again."

"Um, I wanted to surprise you, since we haven't gotten to go here much lately." Bridget grinned, sitting down on the white blanket, looking over the array of sweets and little sandwiches.

"You're too sweet, thank you so much Circe." She smiled up at her, Circe flushed red and looked away from her.

"Yeah. Of course." She coughed, sitting down and looking at Bridget with a small smile.

"This is so awkward."

"It wouldn't be if you just shut the fuck up!"

"Um, I have a question for you, if you don't mind me asking." Bridget hummed, looking at her with a tilt of her head.

"Um-I- uh, yeah, ahem, I would l-like to ask you to-." She got cut off by Bridget nearly jumping on top of her, tightly pressing their lips together in a heated kiss.

"You really could've asked earlier." Bridget said when she pulled away from the redhead, who was out of breath and looking at her with wide eyes.

"Right... earlier." Circe nodded, bridget smiled, looking down at her with her arms around her neck.

"We could've been doing this for so much longer." The pinkette smirked, ghosting her lips against Circe's, planting her knees on the ground besides Circe.

"We should probably leave now." Red whispered to Chloe, who quickly nodded, rushing away from the scene.

They ran into Ella on their way back, and took her back with them just to be sure she wouldn't find the two.

-

"You were right."

"Of course I was, about what?" Ella looked up at a flustered Circe from her book, placing it down to ask what was going on.

"About bridget, she's wild man." Ella shrugged, picking her book back up.

"Duh, honestly, she was staring at you a bit too much for it to be innocent, also the comments she made about your hands seemed a bit too explicit to me." Ella explained, Circe sitting down in front of her as she continued to read, the goddess slumped over on the table.

"She really did a number on you, didn't she?" Circe groaned, hiding away in her elbow.

"Hi honeybun!" Bridget appeared behind Circe, who shot up and craned her neck to look behind her with a smile.

"Hi princess." Bridget softly kissed her lips, pulling the chair back and plopping down on her lap.

"How was your night Bridget?" Ella smirked at Circe as she spoke, Bridget smiling at her.

"It was amazing! Circe's so nice to me..." she trialed off, placing another kiss on her lips.

"If you two are going to be like those disgusting couples, please do it somewhere else." Bridget giggled, and Circe rolled her eyes.

"Yeah sure, miss grumpy, we're not one of those couples."

"We'll go then! Bye Ella!"

"We apparently are, bye."

"Bye you two!"

[ckret2]

The latest installment of "literally nobody is happy about Bill being the Mystery Shack's prisoner," chapter 8:

Bill attempts to manipulate the humans with the only weapon he still has at his disposal: using his own body and their own species's hygiene taboos to gross them out.

Also featuring: dramatic arguments with Ford, a surprise bath, and me trying my level best to convince you all that hair is the most disgusting substance in the universe, let me know how I do at that.

Masterpost here! August 31 2024: edited for TBOB compatibility!

A few days into summer vacation, just before dawn, Dipper and Mabel were woken by a series of thunderous crashes and pained screams, followed by Bill's piercing, maniacal laughter. They were armed and out the bedroom door in seconds.

Mabel said, "Who did he kill?!"

"I think he blew up a wall to escape—"

They skidded to a stop at the top of the attic stairs. Bill had tumbled halfway down, crashed into the wall where the stairs made a ninety degree turn, and was now sprawled upside-down on the landing, giggling.

Dipper lowered his weapon. "What."

"I ff—" Bill was interrupted by a wheeze of laughter. "I forgot how stairs work."

He spotted the kids—Dipper holding a metal claw hammer, Mabel holding a kitchen knife longer than her forearm—and abruptly stopped laughing. "Wow, you kids came ready to commit murder! Just waiting for the first excuse, huh?"

"Shut up." Dipper looked at Mabel. "Wanna go back to bed?"

"I think my blood is all adrenaline now."

Dipper sighed. "Yeah. Let's get breakfast, I guess."

They trudged down the stairs, shoulders pressed to the wall to stay as far from Bill as possible. As they passed Bill, Dipper muttered, "You could at least get out of the way."

Bill—who'd been about to gingerly sit up—lay back down and spread out across the landing. "Think I'd rather mildly inconvenience you!"

Mabel threw in, "And take a shower! You smell like an outhouse."

"That's my human-repellant forcefield."

The twins headed to the kitchen for a snack they could take out of the shack, but were blocked at the doorway by Stan. "Hold on. Don't go in there. You smell that?"

Dipper and Mabel sniffed the air and grimaced. Mabel stuck out her tongue. Dipper said, "Ugh. We thought that was Bill, but it's worse down here."

"One of two things happened," Stan said. "Either a squirrel and a raccoon fought to death under the fridge and started rotting; or the space demon cast some kind of stink curse. Personally, I'm hoping for dead wildlife. But until I find out, you two stay out of the kitchen."

There were several more crashes as Bill tumbled down the second half of the stairs, a groan, and a muttered, "What am I getting wrong?"

Stan rounded on Bill. "Hey! Demon. Don't suppose you happen to know why the kitchen smells..." He gestured vaguely, "like that."

Seated on the floor, Bill had been absorbed in prodding his limp left arm; but at the question, he looked up with a worryingly bright smile. "It just so happens I do!"

"Explain."

He twisted his left arm with his right, jammed it back into its proper position with a pop, and straightened himself up. "Funny thing—you know how I can't open doors? Because of the curse your brother put on me? Of course you do. Well—it's the darnedest little quirk of human architecture—I don't know if you noticed, but it just so happens that all of the toilets in this house are behind doors!"

Stan's face blanched. "Oh no."

"At any given time, this body I'm in is freely secreting about half a dozen different bodily fluids—snot, spit, sweat, I could go on—and you humans are perfectly comfortable with that. But you think one bodily fluid is special and can only go in the special white bowl. Me, on the other hand—usually, I'm an energy being that doesn't leak all day! So your fluids are all equal to me! I don't care about your special white bowls!"

Hotly, Stan said, "You're in my house—"

Suddenly twice as angry and twice as loud as Stan, Bill said, "So if you think I'm going to lower myself to asking three times a day for permission to use a STUPID TOILET for YOUR COMFORT—"

And that was when they started screaming.

Dipper looked at Mabel. "Let's eat out."

Mabel nodded. "You know that burger place where Wendy gets breakfast—?"

"If we hurry, we can probably meet her there."

By the time they'd changed and come back downstairs, Ford had joined in the argument, Abuelita had set up a folding chair to watch it like a wrestling match, and the volume had doubled. (Bill: "BE GRATEFUL I USED THE SINK INSTEAD OF YOUR CEREAL BOXES! NEXT TIME I WON'T BE SO MERCIFUL!" Stan: "I'M GONNA INSTALL A DOOR KNOB ON THE KITCHEN FAUCET AND THEN YOU'LL NEED MY PERMISSION TO DRINK, YOU LITTLE—") Dipper and Mabel squeezed around the crowd, slid out the door, and biked into town.

They decided they'd just stay out the rest of the day.

They'd been doing that a lot lately.

####

When they made it home that evening, the first person they ran into was Soos, relocating a detached door. "Oh, hey dudes! Okay so, update on the Bill situation." Soos leaned the door against the wall. "We removed the door on the downstairs half bath and nailed up a curtain instead, so, now it's curse-accessible, but Bill can't lock himself in and do—" he wiggled his fingers, "secret Bill things. So. If you wanna use a bathroom with a real door, you've gotta go upstairs now."

Mabel considered that. "The bathroom with the tub still has a real door, right?"

"Yeah dudes, it's fine!"

Dipper said, "So... do we have a way to get him to shower...?"

Mabel said, "Yeah, whatever Bill's been doing in the kitchen sink—"

(Soos said, "And the trash can, it turns out.")

"—it definitely hasn't included sponge baths."

"And I'm not really comforted by his 'human-repellant forcefield' comment," Dipper added.

Mabel nodded. "I'd kinda like Bill to clean up before he gets as bad as Dipper last July."

"Hey."

Soos pointed toward the attic. "Ford's working on that right now." He whispered, "He's got a theory that Bill's just just too proud to ask for permission to use the facilities? So maybe if we ask him to take a shower, he'll go, 'oh, okay, I'm doing you guys a favor,' and then he'll agree to be let in and out of the bathroom."

Dipper grimaced. "I don't like the idea of begging him to shower. I know he'll be smug about it."

"Uh... I'm fine with it." Soos shrugged. "Better smug than smelly."

####

"All right, Cipher."

Every time Ford came upstairs, Bill was curled up in the window seat, one side pressed against the glass. If it weren't for the crumpled jerky and granola bags and the empty energy drinks scattered beneath Bill's window seat—or the occasional downstairs argument—Ford would have suspected Bill hadn't budged in days. It made him nervous. There was an ice pack on Bill's left shoulder that had sat there so long it was completely melted.

"You got the bathroom you wanted. Now, would you take a shower?" Ford mustered up all his willpower as he prepared to mortify himself, and added, "Please."

It was important to note that Ford had spent his youth as the golden child; Stan had been disowned before his desire to please his parents had a chance to wilt and die; and Ford had barely seen Shermie's teen years. He'd spent his own adolescence isolated from his peers, and hadn't gotten to know any youths except Dipper and Mabel since then.

All of which was to say, the look Bill Cipher gave Ford, shocking in its ferocity, was utterly alien to him; but would have been familiar to millions of humans around the world. It was the same look received by authoritarian parents whose tyranny had squeezed a little too tight, and whose offspring had realized they were grounded so severely they no longer had anything left to lose.

It was the wrath of the defiant teenager.

And then the most pleasant smile snapped on Bill's face, quick as flicking a light switch. "What's in it for me?"

Ford blinked in disbelief. What needed to be in it for Bill? It was a shower. "Being... clean?"

"Eh."

"You can't enjoy being dirty."

"Not a bit! I feel filthy and it's horrible," Bill said cheerily. "Every inch of me feels tainted and corrupted. The touch of my own flesh is nauseating. But, ya know what? I felt exactly the same when this body was 'clean'." He put exaggerated air quotes around the word. "So why would I waste my time scrubbing the top layer of filth off the second layer of filth."

Ford's shoulders sagged. "At least use deodorant?" he pled. "Change clothes? Brush your hair? Something?"

"No, no, absolutely not, aaand no. What's the matter, Stanford? I've been staying out of your way! You don't even see me up here. The stench can't be getting to you that much—after all, you've gone waaay longer than this without showering, stinky!"

(The back of Ford's neck heated up as he realized at times he had, in fact, gone without showering for far longer than Bill had even existed in this body. Science is more important! Bill had no excuse.)

"You smell like burnt hair, by the way," Bill added.

Ford grumbled, "It's faster than shaving."

"And it has got to overpower the smell of a little stale sweat. So what do you care how this body smells?" Bill's grin widened. "Awww, is the guilt starting to set in? Must be hard to pretend you're a hospitable host rather than a kidnapper when your 'guest' is living in squalor—"

"Enough," Ford snapped. "So this is what, your way of protesting your own captivity? This isn't something we're doing to you, you're doing it to yourself! You have to realize how stupid this is!"

"Buuut it's wooork-iiing," Bill said, a singsong lilt to his voice. "It's getting on your neee-eeerves."

"You're going to cause yourself problems in the long run! Diseases, infections—don't tell me I have to explain germ theory to you, you're smarter than that."

"Course I am! When the plague was running rampant, I was the one mocking your species's failure to pick up bathing." Bill scoffed. "I'm flattered you're so concerned about my health, but you can relax. I've been washing my hands and brushing my teeth like a good little potential disease vector. But you humans are so safe inside your modern fortresses with minimal carnivorous bugs and flesh-eating fungi—most of your modern hygiene expectations are cosmetic, because your culture's trained itself to be disgusted by humans' own natural scent. I'm more willing to put up with itchy dandruff than you are to put up with the smell."

"Are you listening to yourself? This is—" Ford paused. "You've been brushing your teeth? Where did you get a toothbrush?"

"I've been using the dish brush and liquid dish soap in the kitchen." Bill laughed. "Wow, look at you—lecturing your prisoner on poor hygiene when you didn't give him any way to clean up! That's not a good look, pal."

Ford made a mental note to find a spare toothbrush for Bill. He flung his hands out in exasperation. "But—why put up with itchy dandruff at all? Why refuse to shower, of all things? And don't say to be annoying—you're cutting off your nose to spite your face!"

"Because cutting off my nose is the only bargaining chip I've got, and you know it."

Seeing expressions on Bill's face—smiles and scowls and smirks and sneers, mouth and tongue and cheeks and eyebrows—still felt wrong. No matter what expression Bill put on, it always felt to Ford like he was using his face to tell some sort of lie. But his eyes—Ford was familiar with Bill's eye, and doubling it didn't banish that familiarity. He knew this heavy, hard, distant look. It was the same look he'd seen just before Bill had shown him, through his own eye, the sight of his home dimension burning. The same look he'd seen when Bill told Ford that the monster that had destroyed his dimension would eat him alive. Of all the looks he'd seen in Bill's eye—curved crescent with sadistic glee, literally red hot with fury—something about this heavy look chilled Ford the most. It was, somehow, the cruelest he'd ever seen Bill: not because the look was malicious (it wasn't); but because it was so detached.

Bill got to his feet, wincing as he uncurled his hunched back. He stretched, spine cracking, as he sauntered lazily toward Ford. "Can I speak frankly with you, Sixer? I can't do a lot of tricks in this body. Heck, I'd try to tell you I don't have any tricks right now—but you'd accuse me of lying, blah blah blah; so let's at least agree I can't escape or kill you all, or I would have! As far as I'm concerned, this body—" he gestured grandly at himself, "—is a dirty sticker stuck on the bottom of my shoe. It's worth less than nothing to me. But it's all I've got at my disposal. So I'm going to be disgusting, until you start doing me favors."

"Favors," Ford said. "And if we don't?"

Bill shrugged, hands raised. "Then I guess I'll keep being gross! But I cannot overemphasize just how little I care about your culture's hygiene preferences, or how far I'm willing to go to irritate you. This morning's hazmat crisis in the kitchen was just a warning shot. You will cave first."

As unnerving as that heavy look in Bill's eyes was, simply seeing it wasn't what rattled Ford. It was knowing that Bill could wear that cruel, detached look when the victim he was committing quiet, passive violence on was himself.

Bill stared Ford down for a moment; then apparently took Ford's silence for victory. "I want a drink strong enough to rot a bootlegger's guts, a hot meal that hasn't been cooked by Grandma Guilia Tofana down there, or—" Bill pointed toward the attic window that his curse prevented him from opening, "a breeze and some fresh air. I'm flexible. Let me know when you're ready to negotiate." He returned to his seat in the window. "I won't be far."

Giving Bill "a breeze" would obviously give him an escape route. Bill was no doubt angling to accumulate tiny, "harmless" favors until he tricked the humans into doing something that would let him escape; but... Ford eyed the empty junk food bags on the floor. He tried to remember whether he'd seen Bill eat anything except for unrefrigerated factory-sealed snacks he could forage from the open kitchen shelves—or if the last fresh food Bill had tasted had been Abuelita's cyanide cooking.

Bill wanted Ford to pity him. That was what this whole charade was about. Ford hated that it was working. Not because of Bill's performative filthiness—but because Ford knew, too well, what it was like to be trapped, powerless, and hungry in an alien dimension; and because even when Bill was all but confessing he was trying to exploit Ford's pity, he was still trying so hard to pretend he wasn't afraid. 

"I'll let you know what Stanley says."

Bill didn't turn away quite fast enough to hide his smile of triumph. "I'll be waiting." He settled back down into the same position he'd held for half a day and stared out at the night sky.

####

After several days in this body, Bill could definitively conclude that sleep was the worst part of being human.

In other circumstances, repeatedly blacking out and coming to, only to realize he couldn't remember anything for the past several hours, might just mean he'd been to a great party. He was no stranger to dissociating for a few billion years—you couldn't outlive the births and deaths of whole realities without getting really good at meditating to pass the empty time—but the difference was at least he could see what was happening around him! And sometimes he did cool things while he was dissociating! At any rate, he didn't need to worry about anything bad happening to him, because he was awake, able to defend himself, and—oh yeah—immortal.

But sleep was different. Sleep left him helpless. Sleep made him dream.

Usually he didn't remember dreaming, even though he knew he must have dreamt for at least a couple hours. He hated not knowing what had been happening around his physical body for all that time, and he hated not knowing what he'd been doing in his dreams. Anything could have happened to him during those missing hours in the mindscape.

The few dreams he remembered were little comfort. Nightmares about dying, about screams and screams and screams, about faces and places he was frankly galled to find still haunted him... things he'd spent his entire imprisonment in the Theraprism fighting to keep safely buried in his subconscious, only for this infuriating human brain to let them crawl from their graves like zombies.

But the subject matter wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that, while he was dreaming, he didn't know he was dreaming.

He didn't understand how that was possible. He couldn't remember how the dreams started, what trick they must have pulled to persuade him that this was reality even though he couldn't remember what had happened five minutes earlier, or how they hypnotized him into unquestioningly playing along with their bizarre impossible Wonderland plot lines. Waking up was more terrifying than his nightmares, as he reoriented himself to reality and had to grapple with how helplessly delusional he'd just been—and the knowledge that it would happen again, and again, and again.

Bill knew how human minds worked. He knew how humans dreamed. He'd been swimming through their dreams for millennia. This was normal for humans, and the knowledge that it was normal was the only thing keeping him from going mad with terror.

But the fact that it was normal for humans didn't make any of this okay. Because he was not human, and he should not be vulnerable to the same subconscious blindspots he'd been exploiting for thousands of years. He was the Magister Mentium, the master of minds! He hated losing control of which realities he chose to believe were real. He hated blacking out for hours at a time. He hated being so foggy-minded and vulnerable in the mindscape.

Most of his diet of the past few days consisted of energy drinks. His throat constantly blazed with heartburn. He needed a better solution—and maybe he could think of one once he got a decent meal, or a drink that could help him sleep without dreaming.

He was hungry, he was tired, and he was weak.

####

But in spite of the caffeine, at some point Bill must have fallen asleep—because he woke up. 

For once, he didn't wake from the searing heat of psychic fires.

He woke from the deadly chill of ice cold bath water.

"HELP!" Bill flailed, bashed both elbows and a heel against porcelain, and went under. He came up spluttering. "Mayday! Charybdis! Carpathia!"

The bathroom door slammed shut. From the other side, Stan shouted, "We considered your terms, and uh—we decided we're rejecting your demands, you get nothing, aaand you've gotta bathe."

Bill heaved himself out of the tub, flopped on the floor, and lay there wetly. Like a fish out of water, if the fish had given up the will to live. "Texq exmmbkba?" What happened?

"We dropped you in the tub," Ford said. "And we're going to do that every time your stench becomes intolerable, unless you bathe voluntarily. Is that clear?"

("What the heck language is he speaking now?" "Not a language. Caesar cipher." "You're tellin' me Cipher was Caesar, too?")

Bill coughed out a mouthful of water. "I'll drown myself."

"No you won't."

"It'd be fun. I'll enjoy it."

Ford hesitated. "Knowing you, you probably would. But you could only do it once."

"I'll slaughter you both."

Stan laughed. "Sure, if you ever reach us!" He jiggled the doorknob tauntingly.

Bill dragged himself across the floor and pounded on the door. He hollered, "I'll make meat linguine out of your skins with an orange peeler! I'll cook it in bone broth made by boiling your teeth!"

There was an awkward pause. Stan said, "I don't have teeth."

"The two of you are a loser who was only ever likable when you were pretending to be your brother and a puffed-up self-pitying nerd who never learned that no one's impressed by a child prodigy after age twenty-two! The biggest impact you'll ever have on each other is derailing each other's life dreams, and all your friends are worse off for knowing you! Your father died ashamed of you both and if he knew the truth about your lives he'd have been even more ashamed! Sherman has no positive memories of you, your obituaries will spell both your names wrong, and I'm going to feed your souls to an ouroboros that will repeatedly digest and defecate you for ten thousand years!"

After a couple more minutes of threats, insults, and beating his fists bloody on the door, Bill had to stop to catch his breath. Ford calmly said, "Have you got that out of your system?"

A pause. "Think I'm good now." Bill slumped to the floor again, his cheek pressed to the cool, damp floorboards. "Okay. Name your terms."

"You're not coming out of there until you've bathed," Ford said. "We'll let you out when you tell us you're clean. If you're not clean, we close the door again. If you want to sit there and sulk, then we'll leave, and once you're clean you'll just have to wait until somebody feels like checking on you. Is that clear."

Locked in and abandoned to wait and wait and wait for nothing at all... He shivered.  "Clear as crystal." He pushed himself to his hands and knees and tried not to look at the walls.

"Good. On the cabinet by the tub, you'll find a towel, washcloth, brush, comb, bar of soap, and shampoo. Are you familiar with how to use all of them."

"Sure! Of course I am!" Bill picked up the bar of soap, dipped it in the water, and experimentally rubbed it on his forearm. "For half a year, I bathed your body more often than you did."

Ford yelped, "You what?!" Stan spluttered as he tried not to laugh.

"Didn't you notice how much more the humans in town avoided you when you stopped letting me take your body overnight?" The soap wasn't soaping like it should. Why wasn't the soap soaping? In a flash of inspiration, he peeled the cardboard box off the soap bar. It had been a while since he'd needed to use bar soap; thirty years ago, Ford had kept the bathroom stocked with Dr. Scrubber's 28-In-1 Body Wash.

"I... thought that... I was sweating more from stress." Ford sounded like he was being forced to reevaluate his entire life. Waiting thirty years to dump that revelation on Ford had been a great idea. "Why were you bathing my body."

"Your odor was offending your pet bumpkin! I didn't want him to stage a mental health intervention!" That, plus Bill had needed to wash away the evidence that sometimes he took Ford's body on midnight joyrides to Portland when he'd finished his portion of the portal calculations.

"Okay, great," Stan cut in, "so you know how to shower. You freak." (Bill decided not to point out that calling him a freak had about as much impact as calling him a triangle.) "Clean clothes next to the shower supplies. Got it?"

He glanced at them. "Yeah, yeah."

"Good."

Ford said, "If you get this over with in a timely manner, without wrecking the bathroom or wasting the toiletries, we can talk about letting you choose a shampoo brand for next time."

Bill considered pointing out that that was a pretty stupid bribe to offer a creature who didn't have the slightest emotional attachment to organic toiletries; but then he remembered one of the cults he was affiliated with in New England made a shampoo line using its traumatized worshippers' tears, and he grudgingly decided he'd like to support them if he could. "You're enjoying this, aren't you."

"No." Ford was enjoying this. And after the mortifying reveal that Bill had scrubbed down Ford's naked body, he'd just angrily decided to enjoy it even harder.

"Gimme an hour. Been a while since I've done this start to finish, I'm outta practice."

"Fine. We'll be back in sixty minutes."

Bill could hear the creak of the floorboards as the Pines left, and the fading sound of Stan's voice as he quietly asked, "Do you think what he said about Shermie..."

Yeah, Bill hoped that haunted him. He reached for the towel, and then jerked back his hand, startled, at the sight of another person in the bathroom.

"Oh." Bill experimentally waved a hand at the human, confirming that the strange alien looking at him was a mirror. There used to be more mirrors in Ford's shack, but he hadn't seen any since he arrived—they were among the "potential weapons" the Pines had hidden away—but apparently they'd overlooked this bathroom. "Hey, there." He stared glumly at the face he was trapped inside.

He'd never seen it before.

He'd seen glimpses of his new body from his temporal peripheral vision—looking into the kitchen and seeing himself examining the junk food on the counters a couple of minutes in the future; looking at the stairs and seeing himself walk up them a few minutes ago. But he'd just taken in the perimeter of the uninteresting puppet and ignored the details. He'd never looked at the face.

Up until now, he'd kept imagining himself as a triangle. Some half-dead shape fraying golden curls around the edges, fused atop the rib cage of a humanoid puppet. Seeing the reality felt wrong, disorienting, like staring at an optical illusion but not being able to pick out how it worked.

He tore his eyes away from his own face. Forget it. He didn't have time to feel bad for himself. He had access to a mirror in the middle of the night and no one supervising, and that meant he could send an SOS to the mirror realm. He had friends in the mirror realm! Well—"friends." He had people whose arms he could twist into helping out, leave it at that.

He flipped the lights off, stared in the mirror—trying to focus only on his own eyeballs—and whispered, "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary." Maybe she wouldn't recognize him in a human body and take his call?

But nothing. "Come on, pleeease," he whined. "Bloodymary-bloodymary-bloodymary please! I'll owe you my life!" Nothing. Why were all of Bill's exes petty psychos who'd excommunicated him or gotten restraining orders against him for no good reason?

He sighed, flipped the lights back on, and morosely searched for any sign of himself in the reflected face staring back at him. It was like trying to find something reminiscent of Chopin's piano Nocturnes in the shape of a lawnmower: a task so impossible it was unintelligible. 

The only thing at all familiar was the color of the hair; not quite as bright as the dazzling electric gold of his true form, but still achingly similar.

Gold splintered into long, needle-thin splinters—splinters with the flexibility of a contortionist, splinters that had been twisted out of shape, splinters that curled like the legs of a dead bug.

"Well, whaddaya know," Bill sighed. "It only took a few dozen eons—but you finally grew up to look like your mother. Ha. Ha ha." The joke left a bitter taste behind his eye. (Eyes.)

Hopefully, he asked, "Oihpromsyd, uoy taht si?" It would be a relief on multiple levels to find he felt so grotesque because he was being haunted by Mr. "Guy Who Lives In Your Mirror And Makes Your Reflection Look Grotesque" Dysmorphio. "Suoedih leef yllaeeer I—krow tseb ruoy fo emos eb attog sah siht!" He waited for his own reflected face to twist in pleasant surprise—either at a human that could speak Rorrim or at the rare compliment to Dysmorphio's work—revealing that the reflection was actually the demon in disguise; but nothing. There went another potential rescuer. Bill already knew the Eye Stealer didn't haunt any mirrors in this shack, no point trying to call him. He didn't stand a chance of reaching anyone else in the mirror realm unless they just happened to pass through this mirror—and unless they were friends, they'd be no more eager to help out thwarted dimensional tyrant Bill Cipher than any of the humans in town would be.

He'd had enough of staring at this face he was stuck in to last him a lifetime. He broke eye contact with himself, tossed the clean shirt over the mirror, discovered the bathroom had a second mirror, and took off the shirt he'd been wearing for most of a week to cover that one, too. He unpeeled the rest of his clothes, trying to avoid looking too close at the human body as he did—it seemed worse now than it had when he'd first gotten this body, with the image of that alien face seared into his memory, knowing he wasn't on this body but dissolved inside it.

Once he'd cleaned this body and perfumed it up to the humans' persnickety standards and gotten out of here, he could handle future hygiene issues by scrubbing off in the sink in his curtained bathroom downstairs. He'd only have to go through this indignity once.

So let's go, Billy, just get it over with—and use the time to think up new ways to irritate the humans into doing what you want.

####

He tried first bathing in the filled tub, until the cold water had him shivering so hard he couldn't properly coordinate his hands; then drained it and tried showering; and then filled it with warm water and attempted bathing again. After the fifth scrub-down he even gave up on soap and tried clawing off layers of skin with his fingernails. No matter what he did, he still felt filthy.

But he'd be dead from blood loss long before he scraped off enough skin to feel clean. He didn't have to actually get clean; he only had to be clean enough to satisfy his captors.

Most of him, he supposed, was clean enough for a human's tastes—any signs of peeling dead skin scrubbed off, no visible dirt, no noticeable scent but the smell of soap—but he doubted the hair would pass muster. It still had asphalt dust in it from almost a week ago, not to mention whatever his scalp had been shedding since then.

But, unfortunately, the hair was the worst part. He could scrub skin with no trouble; but when he was bathing, sunk down to his chin, trying to feel weightless again, the hair floated around him like a grotesque ghost, closing in. When he was showering, it dangled on his face, clinging to his skin, like it was trying to creep under his eyelid and down his throat and choke him. Just knowing it was there turned his stomach; touching it made his throat burn as energy drink bile tried to escape his stomach.

Maybe if Bill brushed the tangles out first. That would knock out some of the dirt without him having to touch it himself. He sat on the edge of the tub, letting the growing tingling pain in his legs as his circulation was cut off distract him from the feeling of hair sticking to his cheeks and shoulders.

He tried to brush it out with his eyes shut, and his knuckles accidentally dragged across the filaments, wet, clammy, clingy. He yanked the brush free and felt hundreds of hairs jerking against their follicles. He forced himself to try again with his eyes open, holding the brush by the very tip of the handle. The bristles sank into the lumpen tangled mass of dead curling skin, and, as he tugged it down, slowly peeled the soggy strands of flesh apart—

His stomach hurt with the force of his retch. He clapped a hand over his mouth, dropped to his knees, and barely managed to get his dinner on the floor instead of on himself.

Voice a shaky, plaintive whine, he said, "Stop doing that to me." He shut his eyes, pressing his sweaty forehead to the cool rim of the bath tub. (Should he have aimed for the tub? Maybe the toilet? Would the humans get on his case for getting sick?) He jabbed a finger into his abdomen around the area where he'd decided the anthropomorphized spirit of indigestion lived in humans' guts. "Chumbo. Buddy. You're not helping," he hissed. "If I'm already neauseous, purging a load of bile does not help. It makes—it—worse. Why are humans built like this."

The Pines were tyrants. If he begged to be let out with his hair still grimy, the best he could hope for was mockery. Any pleas for mercy would cost him dearly. He wasn't getting out of here until he'd dealt with the hair.

He stood shakily and pulled the makeshift curtain aside on one of the mirrors. His vision was bleary from soap; the soggy hair draped in a loose, disheveled triangle shape around his head, like a mangled corpse. He shuddered and let the fabric drop. 

A knock on the door. "It's been an hour, Cipher."

Ford. Bill rubbed his throat and hoped he didn't sound like he'd just been sick. "Gimme another hour."

"That's ridiculous. It takes less than ten minutes to shower, how could you possibly need two hours?"

"So I'm out of practice at scrubbing skin folds! Give me a break! How many hundreds of showers have you taken since the last time I did this? Do you know how hard it is to hold a bar of soap for more than half a second with a mere five fingers?"

There was a pause. "You can't hold soap."

"My hands are small, Stanford."

"Fine. One more hour, but that's all you get."

"Fine, I don't care! If I'm not done in an hour, kick down the door and call the hygiene police on me." Bill was pretty sure you couldn't even get a call through to the hygiene police from this dimension. "Go away. I'm focusing."

If the Theraprism's stupid reincarnation machine was supposed to—ahem-hem, snooty director voice—"divinely designthe body most well-suited to the soul about to inhabit it," then why had it given Bill hair. Sure, he liked human hair, but he liked hair the same way he liked humiliating misspelled tattoos: on other people's bodies, not his. Why hadn't the machine dumped him on Earth bald and balloon-smooth, let the patchy human fur patterns grow in over time? Why hadn't it at least given Bill less hair—why did it need to be so long—

But his hair didn't need to be long, did it? Bill didn't need to have hair at all. Hair was the easiest human body part to self-amputate, easier even than fingernails or ears. Inspired, Bill started searching the bathroom cabinet drawers—et voila. The Pines had no doubt removed any razors or scissors before leaving Bill in this bathroom, but he managed to find a bottle of hair removal cream. Probably courtesy of Question Mark's girlfriend. Cosmetic acid: one of humanity's many endearing little quirks. This would liquefy the roots of the hair, and Bill could get out of here.

He considered whether to melt the hair off the rest of the body. Honestly, he hardly noticed the faint fuzz on his arms and legs, it could stay. The thicker patches extruding from the soft crevasses of the human body triggered that same rotting corpse feeling the scalp hair did, but to a much lesser extent: they were smaller and he could actually see with his eyes that the hairs were growing from the skin rather than spilling out of some dark wet wound. Head first; then he'd annihilate the other three patches if he had enough cream left.

It was easier to touch the hair when he was powered by rage, sliding his cream-coated fingers through the clingy filaments in service of burning it all away. The tingle on his scalp was a welcome distraction from the feeling of the hair itself, and feeling the tingle gradually blossom into a full agonizing blaze was a relief. Chemical burn. That was a luxurious pain—it tightened his lungs and squeezed tears of bliss from his eyes, so good he almost forgot there was another goal to this pain. 

Maybe it would damage some of his follicles enough to prevent the hair from regrowing. Maybe he could wring some pity out of his captors—see this damage, isn't it hideous, look what you made me do—how long could he milk that? A few weeks?

He tolerated the burn as long as he thought he could get away with it without requiring hospitalization, then turned the shower on again. The ice cold water didn't wash the dead hair off fast enough. Some of it stuck to his skin; some was brittle, but not quite fully dissolved.

And that one, last, tiny inconvenience was more than he could stand. 

The hair stuck to his chest, his arms, his hands as he ripped it off. Dead flesh, peeling apart and rotting, dead flesh all over him. He ran his hands over his head, fingers trembling with disgust, and tore out clumps of hair to fling to the ground. His eardrums boomed with his heartbeat. If there had been anyone else in the room he would have murdered them with his bare hands just to purge some rage. Over and over, desperate, obsessed, get it off get it off—

Until his head was so smooth that the pain of the chemical burns masked what few fibers were left. Until the icy shower left his skin so cold it hurt. He stepped out of the shower, triumphantly tore the shirt down from the mirror to see the results—and froze in horror.

When a cloud of gold hair had dangled down from his scalp, he'd looked like a triangle rotting apart—the corpse of Bill Cipher.

Now, he looked at his face, and he didn't see Bill Cipher at all. He'd destroyed the last of himself.

At his feet was a murder scene, all mangled golden gore.

####

(if you enjoyed—and/or were horrified—let me know what y'all think!!)

[mealodyd]

The Summer of Love

Paring: Hyung line x Gn!Reader

Genre: Smut

Summary: For as long as you can remember you and you best friends went to a beach house ever summer. But this summer was different. You really didn't know what you were getting yourself into.

Authors note: This is my first story and first time writing so I might be a bit bad, but if you could get me some advice, I would love it. (I'm desperate) Also as I was reading this over again, I noticed that this is somewhat referenced the the show The summer I turned pretty but it will change very soon.

Sneak Peak

Finally, it was the time of the year that you have been waiting for SUMMER. You had just got out of sophomore year of college, and you couldn't be happier. Around 4 days ago your mother told you that she had plans so it meant that you had to go alone on your trip to the beach house, but you weren't mad about it.

You had been waiting for this moment since last summer ended. All you could think about was how your mom wasn't going to be there and that honestly made you feel better because who would want their mom telling them what to do on summer vacation?

5 hours later

You were all packed and ready to leave when you suddenly hear a honk outside. You didn't do anything because you didn't know if it was for you or not, so you just went back on your phone. That's when you get a call from one of your best friends Heeseung.

"Hello? "Is all you said because you were confused. "Hey y/n/n were outside right now" heeseung said excitedly "Ohh. That was you guys" you said awkwardly " alright let me get my stuff I'll be right down" you said as you hung up.

It didn't take you to long to get your stuff downstairs and into the car but when you went to the passenger seat which you knew was empty you were shocked. There was heeseung the one you were just on call with looking a lot better than he did last year. Since you all went to different school you only saw the 4 boys during the summer. You had locked in the back seat to see the rest of the boy on their phones, and they looked better than they did last year to "uhh-"

"Y/n are you gonna get in?"Heeseung asked you with a smirk. "Ohh yes duh sorry" you said with you head down as you get in the car.

"Y/n!" Somone screamed behind you which made you jump. You looked back to see the three-boy looking at you smiling. "Hey guys!" You said and they all said Hey. And just like that you guys made you way onto the road and to the beach house.

During the ride music was playing but you stayed quiet because it was late at night, and you were tired. Heeseung had noticed that and put his hand on your knee. You didn't think anything of it because he usually did that when you were tired which was weird at first, but you honestly got used to it as the time passed. That was until you felt his hand go even higher than usual. All you did was gasp and look over at his smirking face, but he didn't say anything and just stayed like that.

3 hours later

You were asleep by the time you got there and so were to boys in the back but heeseung woke everyone up. After getting your luggage from the car you went into the house you have been waiting for all year long. You immediately went into your bedroom.

As you were setting up your bed sheets Jay has suddenly yelled to everyone to come at dinner which was strange but decided to go downstairs anyway.

You made it down stair to the boys already eating at the dining table. You got yourself a plate of food and walked to your normal set that you always sat in for dinner. It felt weird with your mom not her. But you push that feeling away when jake had started to say something.

"Y/n you wanna stop by the beach after this?" Jake asked you, but before you could say anything jay spoke up.

"Jake there's a bonfire tonight and I don't want her going." Jay said looking at Jake and then looking at you " she's too young for that kind of stuff."

"I'm literally 2 years younger that you jay." You said" and you can't control where I go anyway"

"Just because your mom isn't here doesn't mean you can do whatever you want" jay told you.

"You know what jay, this is bullshit" you said angrily "I'm going to bed." You said as you took off leaving you full plate of food on the table.

Everyone was staring at you as you left.

"Dude just because her mom isn't here doesn't mean she can't go with us. "Jake said sad that they weren't able to go the beach.

Upstairs

You were on your phone after you had slammed your door shut. All you wanted to do was go to the stupid bonfire but nooo jay didn't allow you to because "you were too young". You were going to the party even if jay said no.

You have gotten off of your bed and went to your closet. You looked and found something that you think would be suitable for the bonfire. You were wearing a blue mini dress with small lace details.

You knew it was revealing but it's not like you cared.

You grabbed your phone and went out your bedroom door. The boys had already left except for heeseung because he didn't want to the party, but you didn't know that because you were in your room the whole time after barely eating your dinner.

You made your way to the stairs when you see heeseung coming out of his room in his pajamas.

You didn't know what to do as heeseung looked at you.

"Where are you going dressed like that?"heeseung asked you after a moment of silence.

"Why does it matter to you? "You asked. You didn't want to admit that you were trying to go to the boy's bonfire by yourself after jay had said no.

"Don't tell me you're trying to sneak out to go to the bonfire."

How did he know?

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"What else who you be trying to sneak out for its no like you have a boyfriend to go to."

"You don't know that."

"Y/n everyone knows it ok." He said. "How about you get dressed into pajamas and come chill with me in my room. Yeah?" He suggested.

"Alright fine. "You said as you went to go get dressed

[sports-on-sundays]

Hello! Could I request something with Marc Guiu where he is smitten by reader who is two years older than him. She also live abroad. And she doesn't stop saying no to Marc to get into a relationship but Marc is adamant and wants to prove her that they can work a relationship together.

Like reader is studying in uni, having her own problems and doesn't want to add a long-distance relationship on top of those things.

Thank you! And I want to say that I really appreciate reading whatever you write.

Giving you a lot of hugs and hoping that you get your inspiration back 🥰

ready when you are / Marc Guiu

Summary: Marc x female!reader - Marc can't get you off his mind. You wish you could get him out of your face.

Warnings: suggestion of depriving oneself of proper self care

Requested?: Yes!

Author's Note: You're literally a lifesaver; thanks so much! Also, I made this a little bit more romantic and emotional than your request suggested, but do you really expect any different from tumblr user sports-on-sundays?!

Sometimes you think that giving Marc Guiu your number was the biggest mistake of your life.

You know it sounds mean, and it's not that you don't like Marc. He's funny; you enjoy chatting with him.

The only thing you did not realise, though, when you gave him your number, was that the boy is smitten by you.

He's stuck on you.

You just thought it'd be kind of cool. You know, you have the opportunity to stay in touch with Marc Guiu. Not world class or anything, but you're a Barcelona girl. It was just a cool idea.

Now, just as you're slipping under your quilt to shut your eyes for some sleep, nearly halfway across from Marc Guiu, in the United States of America (it was a treat to spend a lot of time here), you suddenly, to your dismay, hear your phone vibrating on the end table.

You roll over to snatch it up in annoyance, and sigh even louder when you see it's Marc trying to face time you.

You blow air out through your lips before sitting up and answering, immediately saying, "Is it not, like, 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning there?"

"It's 6:00 A.M.!" the guy beams, his brown eyes sparkling. "You said you didn't want me calling at 9:00 A.M. anymore, since that's like 3:00 A.M. for you, and I'm waking you up in the middle of the night. So I woke up early so I could call you now!"

"Marc," you groan. "It's 12:00 A.M. here! I was just about to go to sleep! Let me make this clear- calling me in the morning for you is off-limits."

His smile very swiftly turns upside, and he almost looks hurt, which immediately fills you with a considerable amount of guilt. "Sorry," he murmurs. "I just wanted to talk to you."

You sigh. Yeah, because you're mad in love with me, you can't help thinking to yourself. You decide not to say it, and inside respond, "I know. It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Why were you going to bed at 12:00 A.M. anyway? You should be getting more sleep than that... did you not say once you have to wake up at 5:00 A.M....?"

"Oh, Marc," you click your tongue. "With all I've got going on, the last thing I'm worried about is getting enough sleep. I'm holding up two jobs, and having to study, and everyday I give myself at least some time for exploring and travel."

"How do you do all it?" he suddenly asks.

You shrug. "I like living like this. But health isn't my concern like it is yours. We have different priorities. And yours shouldn't be ridding yourself of sleep by waking up early to talk to me, hm?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure..."

"Now, was there something you want to tell me?"

Through the screen, across the world, you can still see the tenderness in his eyes for you. His soft spot for you that's getting just a tad bit dangerous. "No, not really... Just wanted to... hear your voice, I guess."

"Oh... Oh."

"Yeah," he clears his throat. "I guess I just miss you..."

Despite everything, and the fact that you were determined to keep this to yourself, seeing Marc so open now about this still pushes the words out of your mouth as you say, "Well, Marc... My contract ends soon, which means I'll probably be coming home back to Barcelona for my next semester... After that, though, I've got plans for France... But at least that's closer, right? And you've got me for one semester."

You don't like how 'you've got me' sounds. And you know you shouldn't have said it.

Can't give this boy any more false hope than what he already has.

"Oh!" his eyes brighten, and his mouth tilts up once again. "Seriously! I'm so excited to see you again, then!"

You chuckle. "Y- Yeah, me too. Now, can I go to bed and get a few hours of sleep in?"

"Haha! Whoa, Marc, hold your horses, mate!" you laugh as he practically jumps into your arms for a hug, causing you to drop all your bags on the airport floor. "Just because I'm older than you doesn't mean you're not bigger and stronger!"

He grins, pulling away, and immediately scoops up all your bags for you. "I've already got a cab. Come on. I'll bring you to your flat and help you unpack!"

There's not much you can do to deter the Spanish boy, and once you're in your flat, all unpacked, you two plop on the couch. You sigh in relief as you say, "Feels good to be home!"

"Feels good to have you home, Y/n," Marc pipes in.

Even though you really don't want him to think you're interested, some of the little things he says never fail to make you smile, and feel warm inside.

Whether you want it or not, being loved feels good.

But then he slips his hand in yours. "So, the United States. That was the longest you've been away. Did you miss me as much as I missed you?"

"Probably not as much," you tease truthfully, "and we did face time pretty much every single moment you could. But, yeah, I missed seeing you in 3D."

He grins, and reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind your hair, asking softer, "So... are you ready to date me yet?"

You lick your lips. You knew this would come, sooner rather than later. You sigh. "Marc, you know my answer." You begin to slip your hand away.

He grabs it back, and brings it to his chest. Now he's looking at you earnestly. "Please, Y/n..." His happy demeanor has quite suddenly turned almost desperate. "I know we can make this work..."

"Marc, I'm not going to be in a long-distance relationship like that."

He frowns, squeezing your hand tighter, looking you right in your eyes. "We already have a long-distance friendship. Why not a little more than that?"

"That requires more emotional involvement. My heart just can't take that. I can't be getting into relationships like that at this point in my life. Maybe someday, I can settle down and find someone. But you know I'm born to run, Marc..."

He looks down. Wraps your hand in both of his and rests it in his lap. "But we'll both be better off. I can make this work. Just give me a chance. Let me prove it."

"You're eighteen. You should be focused on your own things, like football, and your career, just like I'm focused on my own things, like travelling and studying for college. You shouldn't let yourself care so much about me, Marc," you speak gently, almost soothingly. "Please, please don't find your happiness in me. I'll fail you. You mustn't find perfection in imperfect people."

"But you're perfectly imperfect, just like me. Broken, like me, and I love you for these things..." he looks up again.

"Oh, Marc," you barely whisper, staring into those eyes. "Please don't ever say you love me. It's not good for either of us."

"But I do-"

"Marc," you say, sterner. "With everything else I have on my plate, and with everything else I'm chasing after, I can't give myself to you like that. Not right now. We're both so young, you even younger than me. I'd rather see you as a younger brother than anything else-"

"But Y/n-"

"Let's just be friends, okay?"

He sighs deeply. He doesn't nod, because he doesn't want it. But instead he leans in, resting his head against your shoulder, and wraps his arms around your body.

You sigh as his warmth is spread to you.

"Well, I'll enjoy you while you're here, and call often you when you're off to France. And you could run away and go wherever in the world you want, but please. Please always come back to Barcelona. Please always come back to me. Because I'll always be waiting here for you. And I'll be ready whenever you are. Ready for you whenever you're ready for me."

[fhrlclln]

Omg so like what if reader is at a party and it's late at night but there are some guys there that are scaring her. Her dad isn't home to call to come pick her up and she can't drive since she's been drinking so she calls eddie instead. He does have a reputation in town and he looks mean so when he shows up everyone kinda moves out of his way and he goes to look for her. Once he gets her home and cleaned up for bed he starts scolding her for being so thoughtless (responsible eddie showing his age lol) but she starts to cry because he's never talked to her like that and he ends up feeling really bad and it's just them having like a little fluffy moment. Also I'm thinking this is like further down in their relationship where her parents know about them and stuff.

older!mechanic! eddie x fem! reader

I LOVE THIS IDEAAAA, thank you anons 🙌

and yes, eddie being his old matured ass, he is very protective of reader. i am kneeling rn. 🧎‍♀️

also, so sorry i took so long to respond !!

also here’s the imagine connected to this !! older!mechanic! eddie

suggestive themes under the cut

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“pick up, pick up, pick up. pleaseeee.” you muttered to yourself nervously, the landline phone on your ear close, glancing back and forth from where you are in the kitchen, glancing to see the group of guys staring at you from the far corner of the living room. the sea of people dancing only the barrier as you quickly looked away. you cringed, glad you still had some sense even though you felt drunk as hell. a party had been going on the up street neighborhood, it was like all house parties, everyone is invited and everyone is free to join. college frat parties like so.

it was fun at first, but you are just itching to go home now after one dude had been too intent on asking you out a while ago. you already told him you had a boyfriend— which was entirely true, but the said creep didn’t back down after countless no’s and fuck off’s. but you managed to stray away, and now his group are watching you like hawks, ready to strike at your most vulnerable. which is why your drinking stop, you already felt tingly and dizzy and it was time to go home. the music was getting boring anyway.

you opted to call your dad but he wasn’t home, probably having a drink with his friends too. you couldn’t call your mom, knowing she’s asleep and could literally yell at you for being at a party and would make things worse for your headache. you decided it would be eddie, who’d you call. your parents trust him enough knowing the established relationship between you two. and to mention, your dad is so very fond of him. a win-win perhaps.

“hello, who is this?” your breath stilled as the ringing finally stopped as you heard his voice. not enough time to respond back, still a little dizzy as he cuts you off. “if this is that one jackass prankster who keeps barking, i’m fuck—“

“eddie. it’s m-me.” you meekly replied, feeling groggy as you hiccupped.

“sweetheart? what’s going on? where are you?” he immediately asked as you hummed sleepily. wanting for him to be here.

“can you come pick me up?” you hiccupped, “‘m at a party right now. i need you.” you glanced back to the group of guys staring at you. you let out a shaky sigh ass you could hear eddie shuffling in the other line. “there’s a bunch of creeps staring at me. please hurry up.”

“creeps? baby, are you alone?” eddie asked worriedly, hearing the music blare in the background of your voice.

“y-yeah. ‘m friends—“ you hiccuped, lying a bit knowing he’ll be mad that you’re alone. “my friends are somewhere h-here…i’m in the kitchen.” you gulped, feeling the nausea slowly start to sink in. you whined as you rest your head on the wall, holding the landline phone dearly on your ear.

“give me the address now. i’ll be there soon.” you muttered the address coherently, saying it two times wanting him to come to you quickly. the sound of a squeaky door opened loudly on the other line as eddie’s footsteps were heard. “you just stay there where you are, sweets. do not fucking go anywhere alone.”

“i will, eddie.” you whispered hearing him hang up as you lazily put the phone back on the receiver. you leaned on the counter, sobering up a bit as you tried your best not to fall down on your ass.

to say,

eddie was fuming, in utter complete rage. he swerved his van to a vacant spot in front the roaring house. getting out hurriedly as he slammed his van door shut. the party was still lively with a lot of people in it from outside to inside. music blasting from the inside, horny young adults kissing, drinking— he could remember the times he had been in parties back then making bucks from dealing, but that didn’t mattered now. he can smell the alcohol as he neared the door. he opened it, earning the attention of the people near the entrance.

“shit, that’s mr. munson—“ one of the boys muttered, staring at the leathered jacket man with a hint of fear in his face. eddie felt the whole room stare at him now, all partially intrigued and intimated seeing the tall mean-looking man step forward to the sea of people. a shiver ran down eddie’s spine, concealing his discomfort of the stares, it felt he was in highschool again— which sucked.

“move.” he grumbled to the dancing people blocking him towards the kitchen. they immediately part a way for him, seeing him already unpleased with the scent of sweat and alcohol in the air. god, he hated parties so much. all stood silent as he finally sets his eyes on you and to an incoming man inching towards your sunken form, as you desperately tried to hold yourself up the counter. he felt his heart surge knowing you mentioned some guys giving you the creeps, in which he immediately stomped to stop the said man eyeing you.

the creep furrowed his brows as eddie came into view before he could grab you. “hey, man. what the fuck—“

“fuck off.” eddie’s voice dropped as the creep backed down. a vein bulge on forehead as the creep scurried away, knowing hell who eddie is. oh, eddie knew he had a reputation in this town for looking intimidating. he still dressed the same like in highschool, just that the evident matureness on his face and more ink on his body caused him to be gossiped around how scary he looked.

which was not true. at least to you, as you felt arms wrap around your waist. you were about to protest until the familiar scent of oak cologne and cigarettes passed your nostrils. your heart thumped as you immediately looked up to see the man you’ve been waiting for as you drunkily smiled at him. your boyfriend. that looks pissed.

“eddie!” you hiccupped, jumping up to encircle your arms around his neck. his shag hair brushing against your cheek as you nuzzled closer to him. chest brushing against his.

“baby, let me get you home.” he mumbled, patting your back gently. you nodded, kissing his cheek as he kissed your forehead. not caring if anyone saw the you two. on the way out, people eventually parted a way for him and you, not questioning anything, it felt sort-of a win, knowing his intimidating presence made anyone flee. hurtful it felt sometimes, but at least the drunk you in his arms said otherwise. you were clingy, clingy for his touch and his affection. he gave it you before you’d sober up and the massive scolding he’ll have to do afterwards.

eventually he helped you up the stairs now in your house, up to your bedroom. your mother was asleep and you told him to be quiet, afraid you both would be getting a yelling from her. you got to plop down to on your bed, before you could feel yourself blacking out. every ounce of strength you had left diminished after such a exhausting night. you tried not to sleep, hearing eddie shuffle inside your room. you could hear him open your closet, shuffling through your clothes then back to somewhere else. you groggily let out a sigh, brain a little mushy but a little sobered up.

“sweetheart, sit up for me.” he tapped your thigh as you lazily complied. sitting up with a groan, back slumping forward as eddie held your face up. your eyes fluttered to see him holding a towel, he gently wiped the sweat on your face. his calloused hands gripping the side of your head as gently as ever, you rubbed your face against the palm of his hand, feeling a little fluttery how good he smelled up close. the comforting silence passed by as you started to feel the drowsiness again until he finally spoke.

“i thought you said you had friends over at that fucking frat party.”

“hm? i-i did, they’re—“

“don’t fucking lie to me, sweets.” he sighed, letting go of your face as he threw the towel on the bed. crossing his arms as he stands in front you with a clipped look on his face.

“i swear, eds, i was just having fun.” you mumbled embarrassingly, feeling his anger.

“fun? that was fun? getting almost cornered by those creepy shitheads was fun? do you have any idea how fucking worried i was, y/n?” you stilled, not used to hearing your name come from his mouth, let alone how angry his tone is. you stared at him in silence, his nostrils flared as the vein on his forehead bulged. you averted his gaze, feeling shameful. his eyes burned holes through you as he waited your answer.

“i’m sorry.” you quietly mumbled, feeling your eyes water. “i-i just wanted to drink ‘s all—”

“i fucking swear, in the middle of the fucking night. you’re hurting my head...” he grumbled, stepping away as he rounded to your closet, opening it as your lip trembled. he never talked to you like this, it was the first time you ever heard him so pissed off at you and you felt bad. your fingers fiddled with each other, disappointment filling your chest. you merely look down at your hands, tears dropping as you tried to hold-in a sob, feeling a little pathetic now that you were fucking crying just because of this.

eddie sighed to himself, picking out clothes in your closet so you can change in. he wasn’t necessarily mad-mad, just that it pained him to think about if a scenario like this could happen again. he wouldn’t restrict you from parties, hell, he was an active out-goer back then in his young 20’s. right now, he didn’t think of it as fun anymore sometimes. he works, he has a job, numerous responsibilities, he doesn’t remember half the thrill he had back then unlike you now. he guessed this came with his oldass.

he turns around, freezing on the spot when he sees your head titled down, little sobs coming from your mouth along with sniffles. you were trying so hard not to make it obvious but seeing as he saw you, the tears started flowing again. guilt filled his chest as he cursed to himself seeing that he had made you cry. shit.

“hey, hey, baby. why you crying, sweetheart?” he kneeled down to your level, grasping your hands to his. you looked up to his brown orbs, the tears blurring your vision. you sniffled, feeling like you made a fool out of yourself infront of your own boyfriend.

“i-i’m sorry. i’m used to to you…” you paused, gulping. “not seeing you angry at me. i-i’m sorry, eddie.” you sniffled, wiping away the wet tears as eddie softens his gaze. “just wanted to have fun this night. you were working and i didn’t have anyone else. i’m sorry.”

“i know, sweetheart.” he says heartedly, this week has been busy on him. he spent days in his shop, working for every customer. “but you know you gotta take care of yourself.”

he wipes the tears on your cheeks as you look at him, nose sniffling as you nodded, still feeling a little sleepy. eddie hummed seeing as you eyes sparkled as he gives you a small smile, indicating everything was alright. he leaned in, capturing your pouty lips to his, soft and slow as you eagerly reciprocated, missing his closeness. sitting up straight, letting out a small moan between as his tongue joined in, making the sweet kiss a little sloppy. all pent-up feelings being brought out. the stubble of his beard sent shivers down your spine when it tickled your chin. you pulled him closer, wanting everything for him to be on top of you right now. but he had the opposite idea as he pulled away making you whine lowly.

“not tonight.” he whispered hoarsely, cigarette scented lips too intoxicating for you to not stare at them as he chuckled. “you’re wasted and tired. i’ll give it to you in the morning, don’t worry.” he kissed your cheek with a promise as you nodded, pecking his lips, thankful he was here for you making your heart flutter. how did you bagged a man like him? you always wondered how lucky you are right now.

“i love you.”

“i love you too, sweets.”

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WHEN IS IT MY TURN?!?! anyways i’m back. 🙄