#i'm literally so normal about mass effect actually

[fatliberation]

hi, i'm a fat person who is just starting to learn to love and appreciate my body and i'm very new to the fat community and all that.

i was wondering if you could maybe explain the term ob*se and how it is a slur. i've never heard anything about it being a slur before(like i said, i'm very new here) and was wondering if you could tell me the origin and history of the word or mayy provide links to resources about it? i want to know more about fat history and how to support my community but i'm unsure of how to start

Welcome!

Obesity is recognized as a slur by fat communities because it's a stigmatizing term that medicalizes fat bodies, typically in the absence of disease. Aside from the word literally translating to "having eaten oneself fat" in latin, obesity (as a medical diagnosis) straight up doesn't actually exist. The only measure that we have to diagnose people with obesity is the BMI, which has been widely proven to be an ineffective measure of health.

The BMI was created in the 1800s by a statistician named Adolphe Quetelet, who did NOT sudy medicine, to gather statistics of the average height and weight of ONLY white, european, upper-middle class men to assist the government in allocating resources. It was never intended as a measure of individual body fat, build, or health. 

Quetelet is also credited with founding the field of anthropometry, including the racist pseudoscience of phrenology. Quetelet’s l’homme moyen would be used as a measurement of fitness to parent, and as a scientific justification for eugenics.

Studies have observed that about 30% of so-called "normal weight" people are "unhealthy" whereas about 50% of so-called "overweight" people are “healthy”. Thus, using the BMI as an indicator of health results in the misclassification of some 75 million people in the United States alone. "Healthy" lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index.  

While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national "obesity" rates, the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as "overweight" overnight—to match international guidelines. Articles about the "obesity epidemic" often use this pseudo-statistic to create a false fear mongering rate at which the United States is becoming fatter. Critics have also noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs. Interesting!!!

So... how can you diagnose a person with a disease (and sell them medications) solely based upon an outdated measure that was never meant to indicate health in the first place? Especially when "obesity” has no proven causative role in the onset of any chronic condition?

There is a reason as to why fatness was declared a disease by the NIH in 1998, and some of it had to do with acknowledging fatness as something that is NOT just about a lack of willpower - but that's a very complicated post for another time. You can learn more about it in the two part series of Maintenance Phase titled The Body Mass Index and The Obesity Epidemic.

Aside from being overtly incorrect as a medical tool, the BMI is used to deny certain medical treatments and gender-affirming care, as well insurance coverage. Employers still often offer bonuses to workers who lower their BMI. Although science recognizes the BMI as deeply flawed, it's going to be tough to get rid of. It has been a long standing and effective tool for the oppression of fat people and the profit of the weight loss industry.

More sources and extra reading material:

How the Use of BMI Fetishizes White Embodiment and Racializes Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

The Bizarre and Racist History of the BMI by Aubrey Gordon

The Racist and Problematic History of the Body Mass Index by Adele Jackson-Gibson

What's Wrong With The War on Obesity? by Lily O'Hara, et al.

Fearing The Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

[catboybiologist]

Slightly late monthly journal!

First off, the spreadsheet has been updated:

Nothing too drastic here, especially compared to my initial growth spurt. But still… there’s so much, yet so little to talk about.

I’ve been on spiro for a longer time now, and recently increased my estradiol dose. Note that my levels check was before the increased dose- the dates aren’t completely coordinated (they are on my private spreadsheet for my own personal tracking, don’t worry). It’s looking pretty good. Testosterone is well within target levels. E is about the same, which is much lower than I would like it. My endo says that 100-200 is “minimally acceptable”, and wants to shoot even higher than that. That’s comforting, in a way- I’m the slightest bit frustrated that some changes aren’t happening too quickly, but that gives a very distinct avenue for improvement. Ultimately, I’m gonna switch to injection monotherapy, probably around the same time I start prog. So the big change is decreased T. What has that done to me?

First off, the hard measurements. There’s really no surprises here. I’m losing weight, which tracks with my general diet and an increase in exercise levels. It seems to be happening faster than normal, though. Which, is pretty easily explainable by a new variable in the equation: adderall. I started adderall in the middle of the month. I’ve used it sparingly, but everyone I know that takes it told me that weight loss is pretty much unavoidable. I’m certainly still above any point where my weight would be worrying, but I’m gonna have to keep an eye on it. Especially if I want fat tits. As for how the weight loss is happening, I’m very happy with what’s going on. My bust and hip measurements are holding steady, while my waist and underbust are still slightly going down. 

I do know that there’s another source of weight loss, however: muscle mass. With the increase in exercise level has come an increase in exertion for the same results, which has made me slightly dismayed. This is the main HRT effect that I was a little scared of. But honestly, I really only care about the muscle that helps me hike and swim- and if I maintain that better, I think it won’t be too much of an issue. I was never some pariah of physical condition, so I think with training I can even improve my hiking stamina. That’ll be very necessary with my future backpacking plans.

The main thing that I’m REALLY happy about is that, if I squint, I think I can slowly start to see the first hints of facial changes start to come in. They’re subtle, of course. A weird one is that my nose is literally straighter. Y’all don’t see it, but the reason I still shield my face (despite being easily identifiable at this point if you saw me irl and knew this account) is mostly insecurity about my nose and chin. My nose actually physically curves to my right when viewed from the front, and in general, is a huge, classic Roman nose. Looking at head on progress pictures, its actually starting to straighten out. I thought I was imagining things, but I checked in with a couple friends before and after pictures of several years on HRT, and yeah- their noses are different, usually smaller and more symmetrical. Saying that this is a huge relief to me would be an understatement. Additionally, I was insecure about my boxy jawline, but for some reason, it seems to work as a femme feature of my face now- I think slight cheek restructuring helps frame it better. Still not so sure how the chin is gonna turn out. But hey- I started HRT thinking that I would for sure need FFS to pass, but now, I'm far less concerned. I'll at least give it two years.

I’ve also gotten a lot of interesting comments. Several labmates and family members that don’t know I’m transitioning have remarked that my skin looks healthier, and I look younger. I’ve also had noticeable mental health improvement, so I think most people think I’m on some kind of self improvement kick. I mentioned skin care as part of that. We’ll see how long the excuse holds- probably a while, as the changes are so, so subtle at the moment. But shit, I’m only three months in. I’m thrilled.

There’s still no getting rid of my beard shadow. Even though the growth rate of my facial hair has noticeably decreased, the thickness of the basal hairs will always add shading to my face. When I started HRT, I thought it wouldn’t bother me that much until I was ready to socially transition- but tbh, it’s starting to look glaring to me. I’m looking into starting laser sometime in January, and hopefully that’ll help.

Which brings me to the emotional changes. Holy FUCK what a month its been. I’m not gonna expose all of my dirty laundry. But, a mixture of some long term anxieties and a few particular events led to a classic mid-20s “what the fuck am I doing with my life” crisis. One of those long term anxieties was a thought I’m sure many of y’all are familiar with: “I started HRT. Now what? How the fuck am I going to socially transition?”

For a couple days, I was very seriously considering quitting grad school and academia. I’m past that. Tragically, I love science a little too much. I do, however, need a break. I talked to my advisor about taking a hiatus, and he’s fully supportive of the idea. And conveniently, that also provides me with a clean way to simply disappear, and come back as a woman. A nice little break to allow me to socially transition.

But anyways. Here’s my big point here: if I went through something similar pre-HRT, I would’ve reacted completely differently. I would’ve shoved those thoughts deep and let them simmer as a general, background malaise that I would just stew in and suffer. Now? I cried. A lot. Actual fucking tears. I went through a few days of sharp sadness, and then actually fucking processed those emotions. What the fuck? That’s new. It’s insane. I wouldn’t have had the emotional capacity to that before. 

I’m elated. It’s wonderful. It’s a more than welcome change.

But yeah. Steady as she goes. Progress is a little stalled, but both me and my provider are adamant about getting that E up. And I’m still making slow progress as it is.

Very quick NSFW notes after this button.

The final note: sexual function. With the low T… yup, my downstairs functionality has decreased. My ejaculate is clear, and often happens without being fully erect. That said… there’s no way in hell that I would ever trade getting that back for what I have now. My libido is still comes in waves, and is crazy when it comes. The feelings I get from intimate situations now are incredible beyond belief. 

[justatalkingface]

Let's Talk About the Toga Problem.

...You know, I wasn't going to do this, or least not for awhile yet, but the way everyone was talking the last couple of chapters (I lost interest after the Dabi debacle, so I had three of the Toga debacle to read!) was especially bad, so I checked and... yeah. It lived up to the hype.

And so here we are where, yet again, I find myself loading words with my pure frustration.

*claps hands*

So! Does this title sound similar to any of you? If it does, that's because it's basiclly the title of my Bakugou post, and that's for a good reason: beyond the extra special last minute writing we're witnessing (the fact her Quirk isn't working right is beyond stupid), Toga's overall problem is the same as Bakugou's, something I'm now calling 'Quantum Characterization', because I'm shit at naming things and I like this name the best thus far.

So, here's the thing with Toga: there's two versions of her, and they're both existing in the same place at the same time: one that is actually doing things in story, Toga A, the blood thirsting girl, and the one that people in story (and to some extent, out of it) react to, Toga B, the love starved girl.... who is effectively a shared mass hallucination.

The first Toga is her actual actions: the vicious, blood thirsty, actively insane serial killer. The main thing that motivates this Toga, the Toga that is actually acting in the 'real world' of MHA, is loyalty to her friends and literal blood lust. This Toga is one who, as I've mentioned before, says she 'loves' things, but actively doesn't understand her own motivations and drives, in part because her Quirk-based instincts are that strong, because she's basiclly a natural predator of humans, and in part because nobody ever dealt with them properly.

The thing is that Toga A thinks she loves all these things, attractive people, friends, blood, and so on, but it's not actually one emotion she's feeling, it's multiple. Some of it is normal attraction, some is lust, and a good deal of it is hunger, and somewhere in there there's a crush or two. The problem is that it's all so muddled in her head that she actively responds to the thought that, X is pretty/cute/or whatever else with hunger, even if that initiating thought wasn't actually about how tasty they would be, so, in her mind, 'love' is the urge to devour someone, for whatever reason.

Now, theoretically, this is something that could be managed, or dealt with, but Toga A isn't aware of this, at all, and thinks her 'love' is normal, and the fact that no one else ever acts similarly to her means they don't like her, while, at the same time, the fact that people negatively to being eaten means they don't like her, or think she's horrible... when in fact, they're reacting negatively to the eating part, since it's killing them. All of this is complicated by the fact that, as I said, she's basiclly a natural predator of humans, but lives as a human, with humans, and likes human, but has no idea how really actualize and deal with all these conflicting facts, or that she even should.

All of this shit, along with parents and a social environment that seemingly has no context for these predatory instincts (I'm not sure why she's so different in this respect, but I don't think there's anyone else in story as actively mentally influenced by their Quirks as Toga is, even if it's implied there's others) slowly festered in Toga for years and years, while she tried to act like everyone else, without any understanding of why she was different except the fact that she was failing at it, somehow, until she snapped and fell back on her instincts without any idea of how to properly manage them. In other words, she killed and ate someone. That, of course, fucked her life up and she went on the run, and then spiraled hard on the run until we get to now: a girl with a persecution complex, always blaming everyone else, actively deluded to how things work and what she's doing to herself and others.

Someone who is ultimately pitiable, but still an insane serial killer, for who much of her motivations go back to, 'I don't understand why no one likes it when I drink their blood'.

Here's the thing: Toga A's story is... actually pretty interesting? Also, with a quite a few similarities to Shigaraki, if for radically different reasons.

There's a lot of fucked up in it, honestly, but the thing is Toga A lives in Tokyo Ghoul, basiclly, while everyone else is in MHA, but she has no fellow ghouls to bond with, or to explain shit, but the fact that Tokyo Ghoul was so popular means that, if done well, Toga A's story could just be really fun to read! Here's the problem: while Toga A is the one acting in the story, people are reacting to Toga B.

Now, Toga B is the one most fans are familiar with: an abused girl who just wants to love people. She's attracted to a lot of people, generally on a shallow, surface level way more related to how attractive they are, but there's a handful she's more actively romantically attracted to, (Ochaka, Izuku, maybe Tsuyu). She craved blood, and didn't always handle it well, but a lot of her problems came from her parents who found that very desire monstrous, and basiclly never forgave her for being born. Eventually, she snapped, killed someone on accident, and had to go on the run where, over time, facing more oppression and harsh conditions, she became more comfortable killing people and feeding her desires the only way she knew how.

This... also could be interesting, but the timeline of it is a bit... lacking. That's because Toga B doesn't actually exist, beyond how people react to her, and so her history is in doubt in multiple areas.

There's only Toga A, a serial killer who hunts and kills people because they taste good... but for whatever reason (*cough, cough, Hori making villains simultaneously pure evil and pitable*) people talk to her like she doing completely different things. The fact that she's killed people, quite a few people in fact, is almost never brought up, because Toga B doesn't hunt people, only stalk them (which is still bad, don't get me wrong, but less bad than the hunting) and those rare times when someone we've seen her kill is brought up, it's brushed over as quickly as possible to go back to the narrative of the love starved girl, instead of the blood thirsting one.

Over time, the love starved girl, the one who is effectively a mass hallucination shared by a good deal of the cast, fell into actual romantic love with Izuku, then Ochaka. She formed a sort of... Romeo/Juliet style dynamic with Ochaka based on her attraction to her, and both of them connected with each other through their mutual love with Izuku, and to some extent, each other, (giving all of this dual love triangle and three way energy, all at the same time, and also sometimes Tsu is involved as well, as a sort of attachment to Ochaka) but this feeling could never be explored due to them being on either side of the hero/villain dynamic, cruelly torn apart before they could be together or even meet by the hands of fate and the indifference of the populace, until things came to a head now, as Toga was driven to the edge by the heroes and forced to finally embrace her inner villain, drawing out a heartfelt confession by Uraraka!

...

I mean... if you ignore what's actually happening, anyways. There was always a problem with this, obviously, but Toga B has so wildly diverged from Toga A that even people who didn't see a problem before are being forced to notice that, hey, something's weird, which itself is exacerbated by both the decline in writing quality and the general rushed to tone of the story overall.

Honestly, my little monologue about 'the love starved girl' is me doing some quite a bit a lot of extrapolating on what their relationship would be if it was actually done 'right', then it is the actual 'facts' we have in story, because until five minutes ago Uchaka wasn't actively... a part of it, at all, it was Toga just basiclly having a conversation with a version of Uraraka in her own head, while Uraraka was just trying to stop her from killing people. The thing is, now, Uraraka is suddenly being changed to also be living in this same story, which makes this whole situation even more awkward, because there was this whole phase of their 'relationship' that, even in the magical mass hallucination land they're all living in now, never happened, and so they're skipping a lot of steps on their relationship while acting like they didn't.

In a side note, in a society where All Might single handedly changed how Japan works, and could probably physically break it, the fact a single person can change the world isn't surprising, it's established fact, because, well, All Might, and also All For One, even if his history of doing just that is less well known. So that reporter in the helicopter might as well be talking about how this crazy stuff scientists have been talking about, rain, which even now is falling from the sky, is wet, and she sounds about as stupid right now as she would if she was saying that instead.

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

*runs into stage at full speed and almost overshoots the mic, skidding back to be able to grab it* but do we realize that Nika form isn't gear 5??? I mean, besides the fact that we know that the technical term is "awakening". All the previous gears aren't so much unlocked by Luffy (besides the fact that both gears 4 depend on him """unlocking""" haki) but something he develops through his own ingenuity? Gear 1 is him manipulating his muscles into pumping his blood faster and more strongly through his body, increasing his power — he's not just making himself hotter through force of will. Gear 2 isn't him increasing his body mass (as a paramecia, he wouldn't have been able to do it, although now we know he's a zoan type), it's him literally blowing air into his body to inflate it. Same thing goes for boundman, a form reinforced by haki mixed with rubber, which is so impressive when you think about it. Snakeman is such incredible control over his body that he can change the direction of his punches several times. I cannot overstate that these aren't forms in the way Chopper's Points are forms — not that he didn't achieve four to five extra forms through ingenuity, too, with his medical knowledge, but there's a difference between unlocking them (they always existed, he just needed to discover them) and developing them. Ultimately, the rumble balls don't elongate his horns or arms or make his hair grow, they allow Chopper to will them to do that, in the same way that, once Luffy awakens his fruit, he can tap into it, even if it takes some effort.

That's why we can't compare "gear 5" with the other gears when it comes to the damage they are/might be doing to Luffy's body (post-time skip, they have little to no effect one him, so he might have become strong enough to handle them... in the same way he's strong enough to rip the mast out of the ship and carry it up a whale). With all his other gears, Luffy's forcing his body to do unnatural things and putting it under enormous strain (isn't blowing air into your bloodstream supposed to give you a heart attack???). Meanwhile, we should look at g5 like we do Chopper's kaiju form, or Doflamingo turning buildings into strings, or Katakuri turning everything into mochi — extremely draining, especially at first, but in the same way a muscle will struggle with a certain weight at first but get better once you've trained it. When he says, "beat loudly, heart!" or "hit that beat!", it's not in response to it stopping, but to it beating normally instead of *battery solo*, aka it's his way of activating his Nika form. It didn't actually kill him, and if it did, it would have been from exhaustion, not from, say, wearing his veins thin and overtaxing his heart because he's trying to push gallons at the speed he's usually circulating liters.

And since I'm talking about his Nika form — it's interesting that while he's using it, he seems to be less affected by haki? Like, being hit with haki by Sanji and Katakuri in Whole Cake Island made him loose a tooth, both times, when we know his bones have to be rubber too or the rest of it wouldn't work. Still, when hit by haki, they react like they're normal. Meanwhile, while it's clear that it causes him pain, he still reacts as if he was rubber, his face molding itself to Kaido's club. I have no idea what that means, I'm just bringing it up.

Also, since I believe that Luffy's gears are not zoan type forms, that means that he was scammed out of either a form or two — compare to Chopper who has his original reindeer form, a middle point (his usual form) and a "full human" form, which he could always access, even without his rumble balls (can you imagine Chopper awakening his df and turning into like. a dude), or Rob Lucci who has a human form, a beast form, and a halfway point (I'm more willing to consider his slimmer, faster point as a form, unlike Luffy's gears, because, while he uses a technique called Life Return to achieve it, that's just another words for extreme control of his body, meaning he's still willing it to happen, like how Chopper needs rumble balls to control his additional forms at first, but eventually develops enough control to access them on his own. Luffy, outside of Nika form, can't will his fist into becoming bigger, he has to blow air into it). Luffy only has his usual rubber form and his awakened Nika form. Again, compare to Lucci, whose awakened form isn't actually a full leopard (that's his beast form) but a powered-up version of his halfway point, Nika isn't the "full" form of Luffy's df (and that awakened zoan types don't become a fuller version of their model in general, and that Chopper's awakening is more likely to be a powered up version of Brain Point). So there's a chance Luffy has a full-human form (no rubber) and a depowered Nika form (rubber, white haired, but without a lot of his abilities like flying and turning other stuff into rubber).

Also, why can he, as a zoan type, turn other things into rubber, when that's supposed to be a paramecia and probably logia type thing? I mean, not that we're ever told that, directly, but I don't see Rob Lucci turning people and stuff into leopards— *yelps* *exits left, pursued by Kuma*

[ideas-on-paper]

Monster Hunter Tri Diary, Part 1: Intro, Arrival in Moga, First trip to Moga Woods

So, inspired by @dragonflight203's Mass Effect replay posts (hope you don't mind me adapting the idea!), I've decided to do a "gaming diary" for my first playthrough of Monster Hunter Tri.

Thanks to the dedicated endeavor of fans from the MH community, the servers of Tri are finally accessible again, so I'm very excited to check this one out. The 3rd Gen is my favorite overall, and I've been yearning to see Loc Lac with my own eyes for years now.

But first, I'll have to spend some time in singleplayer to farm some equipment and re-familiarize myself with the game. Wouldn't want to do the hub quests ill-prepared! So, for now, we're starting slow.

Disclaimer: Text is paraphrased from my localization and might slightly deviate from the English version.

Intro

This is the first time I've seen the intro of MH Tri in person - and it’s such an amazing one, too! I love the correlation between the sea and land environments depicted here: The Jaggi pack is hunting the Aptonoths at the coast (great way to introduce the new small bird wyverns!), while the Ludroths are picking up the scraps that fell into the water.

That Great Jaggi was about to have the feast of his life on that Aptonoth, only to be bowled out by that Rathalos. xD Dude wanted his lunch back so badly that he was even willing to make a stand against the Rathalos. Probably wouldn't have held out for long, though, with Jaggis being weak to fire. (If Tri had turf wars, that Great Jaggi would've been totally obliterated.)

And when the Lagiacrus shows up, the Jaggis are just like: "Okay, this one’s way out of our league. Let’s get the hell out of here." xD

One thing I love about the Lagiacrus is that he's designed like an antithesis to Rathalos: Rathalos wields fire, which is the Lagi's primary weakness. Meanwhile, Rathalos himself is weak against lightning, which makes him vulnerable to Lagiacrus’s attacks. Both are the kings of their respective element, but when encroaching on Rathalos' territory, the Lagiacrus is like a literal fish out of the water.

I wonder what would happen if there was a turf war between them, though. Would there be a 50:50 chance of either one winning? Would the Lagi try to pull Rahtalos into the water? Would he even get out of there by himself? (I imagine it would look like a bird of prey that crashed in the water, but much bigger. Poor Rathalos might need a hand. xD)

I love how Lagiacrus turns away in an "Eh, I didn't mean to hunt this anyway" manner; like having his snack snatched away from under his nose hurt his pride, but he tries to act unbothered by it. xD

Ah, guys... I always get a little teary-eyed when the MH Tri main theme comes up. The Rathalos flying over the vast plains, the music picking up, and then the view with the hunters standing at the cliff... It really doesn't get better than this. :,)

Arrival in Moga

Ah, it's been ages since I saw that cutscene... It's technically the same as in MH3U, but still it feels so good to be back. I love how you see the villagers just going about their daily lives, the children being excited about the trinkets the Chief's Son brought back from his trip and all that... It evokes such a homey feeling right from the start, and it makes the village community feel that much more like family.

The chief actually mentions the sea people having crests on their skin and looking a little different from normal humans. I remember this from the MH artbook, where it's stated they gave them a different skin tone/markings as well as webbed hands to distinguish them from normal humans. I thought this was just a scrapped concept (since you don't see much of a visual difference in-game), but I had no idea there was in-game dialogue about it. Cool!

"Diversity means prosperity!" That's actually a really wise quote right there. Both the sea people and wyverians are knowledgeable in their own right, but each have different skills. If they unite them, everyone profits. (I think we could learn something from this for our own society.)

I love the Guild Sweetheart from MH Tri/3U. She's legitimately my favorite of all the Guild receptionists in Monster Hunter (at least those I’m familiar with). And she's trying so hard - she's really upset the Guild apparently forgot about them in this backwater village. Hang in there, sweetie!

"The Guild has permission to hunt and do research in the Moga Woods, and in exchange, we help the village with its problems." A fair trade, but I wonder if the Guild might have ulterior motives. Like, what are they doing with the research results? And do they really only permit just as much hunting as the monster population will allow, or is that just a farce? (I always trusted the Guild was true to their word, but after watching a few Monster Hunter lore videos, I'm not so sure. Ah, I was so gullible back then... xD)

The gossipy lady really loves her silly word games. (And so do I. xD)

"The Chief must have really good relationships with the Guild if he got a hunter like you to come to such a small village in the middle of nowhere." Not an unreasonable thought, actually... How did he convince the Guild to send a hunter to Moga if they otherwise completely ignore it? Is he friends with some of the higher-ups?

"For safety reasons, we’ve collected all information about monsters in a so-called "monster list"." Uh-huh... "Safety reasons"... I'm telling you, the Guild is definitely keeping secrets.

Okay, so the item seller really likes hunters. This reminds me, I think there's one single NPC in the entire series who couldn't stand hunters. (I believe it was some guy in Minegarde, though I can't say for sure since I've never been in that city myself.) Is this dude the only one or are there any others who actually dislike hunters?

I love the Outfitter with her "very important" virtual tests. Like yeah, I'm sure that fantasizing about slaying monsters with no first-hand experience will bring you that much closer to finding the "ideal weapon". (I gotta say, I love this kind of humor that Monster Hunter has - it's so dumb, but in a hilarious kind of way. The game knows it's dumb and doesn't take it too seriously, so it almost feels a bit like satire.)

I'm also quite fond of the Fishmongeress. She is warm-hearted and helpful, but also very assertive and knows what she wants. My kind of woman!

I love the dynamic between the two kids; like one is constantly bragging about how smart he is (while actually being really dumb), while the other, shy one is the actual smart one (can confirm this from personal experience xD).

Our local "whizz kid" tells us that the villagers are threshing rice at the windmills in Moga Village. (The ones you can see in the background near the armory and if you walk across the leftmost pier.) That’s probably what the farm is for, though I haven’t seen any paddy fields there.

You know what I find absolutely hilarious? The way the game incorporates gameplay tips. The villagers say stuff like "Okay, so try imagining a "screen", alright?" and "Try imagining a thing called "Wiimote". No kidding, just try it!". They talk about a yellow cursor ("I know: a what?!") like it's the weirdest thing ever, and "saving the game" is treated like some outlandish slang word. Like, the developers were probably aware that to the people in-universe, these explanations would sound entirely nonsensical, and they put in the extra effort to make it funny - I love it.

Also, the UI design in Tri is absolutely gorgeous. I love the "tribal" style the old games had going on. MH World can't hold a candle to this!

I remember there was an old post on the MH Lore Tumblr blog (sadly, it's been defunct for a while now) that in the MH universe, the Felynes are treated like cheap laborers who are always given the shit jobs nobody else wants to do. Considering how they're constantly seen in positions like chamberlain, farm worker etc., I believe there might actually be something to this. It's kind of sad, but these kitties really don't seem to have the best standing in MH society... :(

I love the Felyne-specific language, though. (Like hairstyling being "grooming", "child's play" is "kitten's play" and so on.) It's so endearing.

So, the shy kid tells me there's a cave at the farm, but I shouldn't go inside because the Chief is gonna get really mad if I do. The Head Farmer tells me it contains some kind of ancient weapon. From what I remember from 3U, that "weapon" is a mask for the Shakalaka. (It's funny how every Monster Hunter used to have this "special", sword-in-the-stone kind of weapon.)

Moga Woods (day)

I gotta say, from a gameplay perspective, I think the tutorial for Tri is really well done. It doesn't immediately throw you into a timed quest so you don't feel pressured from the get-go, and it introduces you to all core mechanics bit by bit.

Village Chief: "Can you hear me?" Yes, I can hear you. I'm not sure how you can speak to me since you technically should be back at the village, but I hear you. (Do these villagers have mastered the art of telepathy somehow?)

"My ancestors had a saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."" Wow - I never could've figured this out on my own. Truly, the wisdom of ages.

It's easy to forget, but MH Tri is actually the first Monster Hunter where gathering points are displayed. I remember how distressed I was when playing MH1 and realizing there were no pop-ups to mark gathering spots. (And now that I’m used MH1 and Freedom Unite, I have to get out of my habit of pressing the gathering button at suspicious looking places. xD)

"That's an Aptonoth: a herbivore. Eats... herbs." You don't say, Chief. You don't say.

I remember when I first played Monster Hunter, I felt so bad for killing an Aptonoth. Now, I’ve kinda gotten used to it - still wouldn’t say I feel good about it, though. ^^’

"You're just like me when I was your age! Of course, my stamina bar was way longer." Yeah, sure - just don't forget to toot your own horn.

When finding the Chief's Son: "Sorry we couldn't talk yesterday, though natural disasters are a great conversational topic!" I've said it once, I will say it again: I love Monster Hunter’s humor.

"I'm Juni-- Er, I'm the Chief’s Son." Ohh, do I hear someone having daddy issues?

"Our tent and bocce set were in that destroyed camp." Oh, no - due to the earthquake, the villagers can't play bocce anymore. What a tragedy.

”I’m so hungry, I could eat an Aptonoth.” Well, friend, you’re in luck - I’ve just slaughtered one of these beasties.

Aaand he snatches the meat right up. Okay, dude - have fun grilling. I’ll just go back to the village all on my lonesome, I guess…

And thus, after finding the lost son and completing our first job for McDelivery, we return to the village...

To be continued

[superbdragoncollection-stuff]

just a reminder

saw ANOTHER post about this on reddit.

Sasha and Marcy have terrible parents. I don't know why so many people have trouble with this. I saw another post saying "why is this so common". IF IT'S COMMON THAT MIGHT SAY SOMETHING.

They are abusive. The only way they could be more abusive was actually hitting the girls onscreen. It's not traditional physical abuse, yet it's abuse nonetheless.

The journal was an awful and stupid retcon, because literally EVERYTHING about them in the show indicates they are awful. If you think their behavior is normal kid behavior, I am sorry. It was not good writing to try and backpedal.

Most of Amphibia is good. The ending feels AWFUL, cruel, mean, and bitter, especially to those in found families. The way it is written, everything we see about Marcy and Sasha, is indicative of abusive parents. I have met SEVERAL people from abused homes who agree with this.

You don't need to do mental backflips to retcon this stuff. The ending was the most upsetting finale I have ever seen, and I'm a veteran of Mass Effect and Battlestar Galactica. It's incredibly disturbing so many people are trying to defend parents who upset Marcy to the point she RAN AWAY, and loved Sasha so little she didn't miss them for a minute.

This is not subtext. This is literally in the show. Sasha tells Anne to "say hi to your parents for me". Marcy loves the found family trope. And Anne was the ONLY one who ever got a scene missing home. THEY DIDN'T MISS THEIR PARENTS AT ALL. NOT ONCE.

How many more ways can I say this? THEIR PARENTS WERE EVIL. I am EXTREMELY disturbed and upset that so many people are defending them!

IT IS NOT NORMAL TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME! THAT IS NOT NORMAL! THAT IS NOT NORMAL!

[noellevanious]

hello saw your post asking for experiences with lupron—lupron is just GnRHa (gonadotropin-releasing hormone agonist), ie puberty blockers, so anyone who's been on puberty blockers will have experience. i was on decapeptyl, another GnRHa, for a while, and it does the same thing, ie stop your pituitary gland from releasing LH and FSH (which then tell your gonads to produce sex steroids). i would personally recommend GnRHas above actual AAs (which prevent androgens from binding to receptors, eg spiro bica cypro, unlike GnRHas which prevent your gonads from producing T in the first place, and have no effect on androgens in your bloodstream from eg your adrenal glands, which cis women also have). like first of all you can normally get GnRHas as 3-monthly injections which is a lot more convenient than taking AAs which all have to be taken more frequently afaik, secondly spiro and cypro have side effects, whereas GnRHa is literally just an analogue of GnRH, which your body naturally produces, and all it does is agonise the GnRH receptors in your pituitary gland to make them insensitive to GnRH and therefore stop producing LH and FSH. ie all it does is essentially put your endocrine system into a prepubertal state where your gonads are not getting any signals to produce testosterone, it has no side effects except for the side effects of just being in a prepubertal (or postmenopausal if you like) state, ie without taking HRT you're at higher risk of osteoporosis, loss of muscle mass from lack of T, etc, doesn't have any side effects except for just the effects of hormones/lack thereof.

it's the standard for pre-op feminising HRT in western & northern europe, so if you ask a bunch of european trans women you'll likely hear more people's personal experiences with it. afaik the only reason why it's not the standard in the US is stuff about private insurance; in europe where public healthcare is the standard it's provided bc, i mean, it's just the most logical choice to prevent T production instead of using a diuretic with weak antiandrogen effects... i don't really have anything to say about my experience, it was just a 3-monthly injection i took and didnt have to worry about, basically just set my hormone levels to a blank slate so i could determine my hormone levels by just taking hrt.

thanks for all the info! i had a big scare cause like. i took spiro and was hti by the side effects in a major way, and even teh similar side effects occurred a day or two after i got my first luprine injection (a general sense of like "i feel really bad. just generally emotionally shitty. and i have no idea why: and having to pee CONSTANTLY)

but from what i was reading, people said luprine was like. a t BOOSTER until it literally cancelled out testosterone which meant side effects unless you also took something to cancel it out and i've been on e for over a year so i was really worried my progress wouldve been fucked up a bit by it

for now lupron is doin its job, no side effects rn aside from peeing a bit more than usual (and i know its a side effect because i'm VERY Hydrated these days) so i'm glad it's actually "better" for my needs :)

[self-loving-vampire]

I understand people being annoyed by literal-level nitpicks of stories and especially thought experiments, but I do think there is some nuance there that gets overlooked by the extremes.

There is such a thing as a story that works only on an allegorical level but falls apart and makes no sense on the literal level, and this can legitimately make the more emotional parts of it feel forced, artificial, or illegitimate. It can cause story collapse and overshadow whatever higher points the story was trying to make.

One very uncontroversial and infamous example of this is the original ending of Fallout 3, which the narrative treats as a matter of courage and heroic sacrifice for the greater good but which only ends up being a horrible mess because of how clumsily the game arbitrarily bans you from sidestepping the whole conflict by thinking about it for just a minute.

And I'm sure that a lot of people will have encountered this kind of thing too at some point. Maybe it's all the issues with the original ending of Mass Effect 3. Maybe it's how MCU's Thanos has a profoundly stupid plan that raises tons of questions. Maybe it's the entire Skyrim Thieves' Guild questline. Maybe something happens that is just inconsistent with what was previously established in a way that seems thoughtless and you're left rolling your eyes at people saying "But the story has fantastical and unrealistic elements so anything can happen really, don't think too hard about it." even though you are really just thinking about it a normal amount.

I'm all for being charitable to stories. In fact, I consider myself more charitable than average when something doesn't seem to immediately make sense in fiction or when there's something that looks like an inconsistency or error, but sometimes writers do make actual mistakes. They are human. They overlook things and neglect research from time to time.

I feel like an argument against "nitpicking" these literal aspects of a story comes too close to being a general "you are not allowed to criticize this dimension of fiction" argument.

I also just feel that stories that make sense on every level rather than just the allegorical one are better-written all else being equal.

[ageless-aislynn]

Okay, I think I finally have actual proof now that I did NOT cause my computer issues. I found a forum where other people with the same make/model and two make/models right next to it all have had similar issues from day one with their PCs. Then Dell revoked all of the previous driver updates they'd been pushing and yesterday, here comes 3 marked critical: BIOS and the Nvidia and Intel graphics drivers, all brand spankin' new (literally released that week or that day in Intel's case) and with the purpose of "fixing bug checks and providing system stability." Bug checks being the official term for a Blue Screen of Death, that is. Normally I wouldn't update on day one of a new release but, well, my computer crashed this morning when I just turned it on and it was sitting idle after about 5 minutes of up-time so I figured that was my sign.

All 3 updates are now applied. If you pray, I'd appreciate it. If you have time to spare me some kind thoughts, to put some positive energy out there in the universe, just whatever, I appreciate it. I didn't realize how much I truly rely on my computer to deal with my anxiety, depression and panic attack issues until not only do I NOT have access to the things I use to try to get through them all, but the computer's switching off at random times has made all of them so much worse.

Yeah, Halo's just a game but it's truly helped me redirect if I'm struggling with anxiety or a panic attack that's looming. Getting really involved in Mass Effect: Andromeda's various romances, making GIFs of them, learning to craft weapons, that sort of thing, it's helped me focus on things other than worrying about RL stuff. I really could use all of those things back, you know? Plus, I was looking forward to so many of the new games I've added to my Steam library. Learning something new can also help redirect my brain when it's spiraling out of control.

And this isn't even to touch on doing creative things like making GIFs, vidding and writing. I'm still working on my "15 Minutes" ch7 by hand but it's so much slower than being able to type it. I was really hoping to have at least this chapter up before Halo s2 starts but I'm not sure if I can, if I'm just scratching away with pencil and paper, not even certain how I'm going to get those words on the Internet anyway.

I mean, just imagine how frustrating it would be if whatever device you use would just blink off with no rhyme or reason, no way to predict when whatever you're doing will just be gone. Sometimes it does it a couple times a day, sometimes 8 times an hour. You can't do 90% of what you usually do online anyway and the other 10% feels like you're walking through a minefield, just waiting to take one wrong step. And nothing works to fix it. Nothing. You spend hours researching, desperate to find The Thing That Will Work and it's just not out there. That's been the past few weeks with this computer.

Considering that my previous computer is ALSO in this make/model line, just back several years, makes me wonder if the issues it began to have out of the blue in October, 2023 are related. I've seen a LOT of mentions in that forum of people whose computer suddenly went bad in Oct, 23. That seems like an awfully big coincidence, doesn't it?

Anyway, just wanted to check in. Hope you're all doing well and here's hoping that I'm now on the road to getting to just... do things on the computer and the Internet again like I used to. I miss it so much and I really miss all of you. Love to you all. 💖

[lhs3020b]

Arrival - an analysis

As I was working through the DLCs for ME2 tonight, I got to thinking about the odd lack of drama that "Arrival" has.

A couple of thoughts below the cut, in no particular order...

I think the first problem with Arrival is the oddness of it. The lack of your usual squad is a bit strange - while it makes some sense in the context of infiltration, it still doesn't make very much sense. On re-playing the DLC I felt like there was a slightly not-quite-real feeling to it, like this was somehow not quite part of "Mass Effect proper", and I think the root of that was the lack of the squad.

Then there's the inconsistencies between how Aratoht is described in the Codex and what it looks like. The Codex describes an uninhabitable planet in the very early stages of terraforming; the visuals show a terrestrial world with an advanced ecology, normal atmosphere and weather. This incongruity, for me at least, added to the faint air of unreality.

The other issue with Arrival is perhaps a "structural" one. While re-playing it, I noticed that it lurches constantly between small-ish cutscenes, and these felt like they disrupted the flow of the action. Particularly later into the DLC, I actually felt a little irritated with some of them as it felt like they were obstructing doing things. The narrative felt oddly heavy-handed - there was a lot of Shepard talking to herself. Normally a lot of this would happen in more "organic" dialogue between Shepard, the squadmates and any NPCs, but aside from a few conversations with Kenson, Arrival has none of that.

Then there's the absence of any meaningful moral choice. You can't not fire up the engines on the asteroid. The closest you get to a choice is whether to warn the colony, and if you try, Kenson interrupts the broadcast, rendering it utterly moot. If you have no choice, then you have no agency, and if you have no agency, what reason do you have to care about the results?

(I am aware that very technically it is possible to run the clock down on Arrival and get a spectacularly non-standard game-over that way, so I suppose there is an element of choice there ... but how many Shepards are really going to stand there for half an hour on a random asteroid, doing nothing, while the clock ticks down to the Arrival?)

There's also the slightly-demotivating aspect of the denouement itself, which forces you to be personally-responsible for nearly a third of a million civilian deaths ... and then the game basically does nothing with it. You can express a bit of emotional frustration while talking to Hackett at the end, but that's basically it. "Hi, I'm a mass murderer and I'm supremely-unbothered by any of this." If the character is clearly feeling nothing, why should the player?

I think the last slightly-off element to Arrival is the brief conversation with Harbinger. The dark majesty that Sovereign had just isn't there. Harbinger rants at you for a bit, then pretty much throws a tantrum and rage-quits the comm-call. It's not awe-inspiring, it's not terrifying, it's not moving - rather, it's mildly-irritating. You're a giant aeons-old alien warship from outside the galaxy and the best burn you can manage is some wibbling about "dust on cosmic winds"? Really, Harbinger? Really?

I wasn't expecting an actual Reaper to - literally! - phone it in!

I think Arrival ends up presaging a problem that was rampant in ME3. The build-up to the conclusion was mostly-OK (with reservations) but the denouement was lacking. And that's a pattern that we saw regularly in ME3, all the way to the infamous endings.

[pan-magi]

*posts random rukh thoughts over a month late b/c I forgot about it*

Are the rukh an actual light source? The things my mind gets stuck on repeatedly while working on shit.

The answer would appear to be yes. This is shown when there is enough gathered at one place, usually in a relation with one of the magi using enough magic and producing magoi at a rate to be visible to everyone who can't usually see them. With the exception of Judar, but I'll get to black rukh in a minute. This is usually conveyed through light even if the surroundings are dim. The first time Aladdin is seen really going off is one such occurrence.

I keep thinking to myself. How does rukh produce light when magi using magic isn't involved? Do magicians constantly see hundreds, thousands, of light sources no one else can see? Or is the light so minimal it doesn't make a difference? I like to know what light sources I'm dealing with.

The closest we get for this is with Baba. She sees the world directly through rukh; it is her source of sight. Though tbf, the anime doesn't really touch on her being blind outside of her interaction with rukh. The manga is only a little clearer. Point being, light source or not, it is a way to see and experience the world.

Does that mean that it acts as a sort of passive night vision outside of Baba? Who knows. The one time I can think of an example is that while exploring the fifth district there isn't much light shown outside of some lanterns and dim lights, but Aladdin, Titus and Sphintus don't seem to have much trouble. Meanwhile, Marga and the rest of the citizens there are used to the level of light and don't work really as a control group. So I dunno.

The other conclusion is that it's not the rukh that produce the light. It comes from the magoi that they produce. When Judar explains the magic system to Aladdin (imo, a condescending smartass doing an exposition dump is a surprisingly effective way to deliver information to the audience in a quick manner), he produces magoi to deliver his point. It acts as a bright beacon that everyone reacts to and sees, especially when Judar starts attacking people with it.

I don't really have concluding thoughts on this. It's more of a ramble dump. Good place as any to switch to talk about black rukh.

I kinda dislike in the anime that black rukh is also shown to produce light. A dim purple light typically, but a light nonetheless. One of the reasons I think of to why is so that each is distinguishable in a way. That a mass of black rukh isn't shown to be a massive black blob and nothing else.

(left about normal, right darkened slightly to show point of black blob)

It isn't how I ever imagined them to be though.

I'll end this on a headcanon of mine. I always thought it made more sense for the black rukh to absorb light or at the very least cast a massive shadow. The first impression Aladdin gets from seeing Judar is describing him like a black sun. What would be the cause for someone to come to that conclusion? Mine was that the overwhelming amount of black rukh from Judar would be a blot of darkness until Aladdin can focus on him properly. If it is only dozens of black birds surrounding the guy the description will be less extreme.

An eclipse (what I can attribute to being like a black sun, outside of blackhole) doesn't just cast ordinary shadows. It is putting out the main light source of the planet. It isn't a cloudy day, a storm, or night time during a new moon: the closest other comparison. The darkness of an eclipse hits different. Plus, when Aladdin gets memories about the fall of Alma Tran the sun there looks like it is permanently eclipsed. That's the quickest shorthand to show that it is nothing but darkness all the time.

Anyway, that is how I see Judar and the black rukh in general. They are opposites and out of spite literally and metaphorically counteracts the light from the white rukh.

Yup, no closing thoughts. Thanks for reading this word vomit if you did!

[tobiasdrake]

I kinda thought that would be the end of the flashback but we're still going.

It's pretty. Love the floating castle effect. But, uh, are we going to be flashing back for much longer? The point of this flashback was to explain what happened with Garl, and that's done with.

If this goes on too long, I may have to file a formal complaint with the Archivist. He explicitly said that the story begins when Zale and Valere go to visit the Elder Mist. If the backstory is required reading then that's false advertising. The Archivist lied to me.

Oh man, this is such a cool safety violation. Do we have to educate children on a levitating stone diamond suspended a thousand feet in the air? This thing doesn't even have guardrails.

I don't think Headmaster Moraine cares much about student wellbeing.

Okay. Y'know what? That does explain the altitude. The answer is yes, we do have to educate children on a levitating stone diamond suspended a thousand feet in the air.

But you're still not off the hook, Moraine. Guardrails. Do you know what the turbulence up here is like? Because it can do some unkind things to an 80 lb adolescent.

Zenith Academy doesn't hand out mass-produced uniforms like a lot of other Super Schools. You want to look freaking awesome, you stitch that yourself. A controversial policy but one that does ultimately allow for much more freedom of expression.

Okay, so a mysterious eldritch being is officially a part of the school's formal hierarchy, even outranking you. Man, school board meetings must be wild. In any case, I appreciate this knowledge. Now I know that you have a manager I can complain to about your general rudeness towards us.

But I don't want to. I yearn for the present. Why are we still in the past?

He sent the lift back down so I can't sneak out and go visit Garl. He's wise to my tricks. ~_~

Please don't leave us alone with him. I'm pretty sure he hates us with every fiber of his being.

You know, this is all stuff I was perfectly content just assuming happened between the Garl blinding and where the Archivist said our story begins.

Ooo, spicy. Okay, you've got my interest again. Erlina has some shit to say about Moraine that she's biting her tongue on. That jives with earlier observations that he's a bit of a dick. Speaking in grandiose terms about our burden and how the normals should stay segregated from us, or we should stay segregated from them, or whatever.

Wait, is that what the argument is about? Because the answer is, "Because they don't want one." Valere and Zale were chomping at the bit to begin their training. They paid for their admission with their friend's eye.

Okay but Moraine's like sixty years old. The older generation has to be replaced by the younger eventually. That's how time works.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm actually on Moraine's side here. If the job's important then you gotta teach some new kids to carry on when you can't anymore, and those two desperately want to be here. Eager volunteers are the best kind of recruits.

Okay, yeah, this definitely seems like a job that should remain well-staffed with fresh blood. If your responsibilities ever involve something called a "World Eater" then the fewer vacancies, the better.

I hope Solstice Warriors are well-compensated.

Cool. Cool. I'll try to remember that in the future when it matters.

*sigh* We started out so strong with naturalistic and organic dialogue, and now we're literally sitting in a classroom while a boring jackass reads straight exposition about world lore to our faces. This is the worst way to convey information.

[higanbanaki]

Hazbin Hotel x Demon Slayer AU- *gets shot*

Image credit/full image: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/g2EoWe

The masses consisting of the two/three fandoms I'm about to mention might be going to parade around with their pitchforks and torches around the place while leading me, my hands chained up behind my back and legs where I have barely space to even walk properly, towards a pillory where they will soon insert me into the post as they pelt me with tomatoes with a desire to hit the bullseye which in a literal sense refers to my head, all for the crossover I'm going to mention in this singular post.

(Just kidding on the above part I'm just being melodramatic don't come at me for this)

All jokes aside I was thinking of an Hazbin Hotel x Demon Slayer AU (with that I specifically mean HH characters in a DS universe but I might follow up with a DS character in an HH universe post) because wow demons and wow slayers who kill the demons so why not combine them into one dumpster fire (affectionately)

It in fact became more of an HH & HB x DS universe because I mentioned the other ranks too, so the explanation of other HH characters might come in a follow up post.

~~~~~

I don't have the complete ground settings for this yet but I have some ideas/concepts:

Hell (also known as the demon side)

Like in hell, hellborns (Demon-born) and sinners (Human-turned-demons) are divided into 2 classes.

Much like the original, demon-borns are practically the lowest class of demons. Most of them are harmless, but you'd need to have an extended knowledge of demons to actually pick out the ones who are bloodthirsty. This is a thing all the examinees should know for the final selection before actually becoming slayers themselves. They don't need to necessarily consume human flesh either, probably being just okay with eating normal food.

On the other hand, human-turned-demons are mostly, if not always violent (given that they're in hell for a reason). These demons will be the ones that appear at night the most, since they need to eat humans to gain more power/energy. Most are beatable for an average Slayer, although there are certain exceptions that they should look out for. They're not very distinguishable from an average demon, but a certain aura will definitely give it away.

Heads up: Although it'll follow the DS universe and it's rules, not everything will be the same to accommodate to the Vivzieverse too.

~~~~~

Moving on to the ranks of hell translated into this AU:

Morningstar Family: - With Lucifer as the Demon King himself for obvious reasons. The very first demon. I'm not sure how this would work since he's a fallen angel, but I'm presuming he was just a really important person amongst the angels (in this case the founders of the Demon Slayer Corps). A person who might have disagreed with the rest about the effects of the blue spider lily, and therefore had been cast out. But not before being forced to take the medicine that soon turned him into a demon. - Lilith is even more of a difficult one for me. I'd assume she was just a normal civilian that was married to Adam until she gradually fell in love with Lucifer instead, and gave him the consent to eventually turn her into a demon to escape Adam. - Charlie is obviously the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith and therefore the princess of the demons. Like most demon-borns, she isn't the biggest fan of slaughtering demon slayers, let alone humans. She has tried to make amends with the corps multiple times but was denied and chased away. Believing finding the blue spider lily is the only way to bring both parties together, she went to seek after it, hoping to find the cure that the doctors and Lucifer couldn't years ago.

Seven Deadly Sins:

I do believe the Kizuki exists in this universe too. But only the upper moons remain the same number of 6, these would be the Seven Deadly Sins. Who's 1-6 depends on who's the strongest, weakest, yadda yadda.

Lucifer might've been the original Upper Moon 1 before he became the Demon King once more demons started to emerge.

They probably don't actively seek to kill people unless it's absolutely necessary (when a slayer attacks them, ...) given that some of the sins are pretty chill like Beelzebub.

Ars Goetia:

I was thinking that they'd be EITHER a rank between the upper and lower moon (central/middle moon???), a lower moon, OR a completely separate rank themselves. They're some kind of royalty in hell, so definitely some kind of demons that are close to Lucifer in a way. Consultants? Dukes? Princes? Up to interpretation because I don't have a lot of ideas for Goetias.

Overlords:

Finally, the human-turned-demons (outside of Lilith). As aforementioned, they're the demons who need to eat human flesh to keep strong and therefore more commonly dwell around when the time comes.

I don't think overlords COMPLETELY rely on devouring human flesh, especially since in HH Carmilla confirms that overlords rely on collecting souls to increase their power. Yes, they probably consume more than an average demon to keep their strength and also probably ate more as their time as an average demon to build up their power.

So I eventually came up with this (no I didn't fell asleep with a loose concept and dreamt of it): Human-turned-demons can give their own blood to other demons or humans which immediately put them into a contract-like deal. This can happen on any occasion, though with humans it mostly happens when they're on the brink of death like in the original manga.

This doesn't mean they don't have to work for anything. They'd still have to actively seek for food and stuff themselves. I think it's pretty much a Spider Family case where more powerful demons can share their powers with their subordinates although not enough to weaken themselves completely/let them fight back.

Also as mentioned before, I think they'd be Lower Moon if Ars Goetia isn't already, not being limited to 6 though. Because since they're weaker than the Upper Moons, they ought to be with more to make up for it (even though the Upper Moons could still squash them like bugs).

Sinners:

I think I pretty much explained the entire thing with human-turned-demons by the overlords so this is just mostly repetition.

They consume humans to stay strong and are stronger than demon-borns. They can choose to not do it, but then they'll just be easy pickings for the ones who do choose to eat humans with a big chance that they're going to starve to death despite their newfound endurance, but then again they can also choose to eat corpses of animals/humans who were already dead. They're pretty much comparable to a normal demon in the DS universe. Previously human -> can get turned into a demon at any random occasion (which would render the demon transformation as their death date too) -> then having to live on human flesh to survive. And in that time they could be owned by other demons too.

Hellborns/Hellhounds & Imps:

Again, as mentioned before they are pretty harmless most of the time, some even being quite useful to humans. Only a small percentage actively kills but then again they're beatable with some effort from demon slayers. They're also the only ones who could probably just live on blood.

~~~~~

Moving to Heaven, otherwise named the Demon Slayer/Human side.

Exterminators/Angels:

Humans stay humans, but angels in this AU I would believe are all part of the Demon Slayer corp. That or the angels all live in a separate big district.

If it wasn't obvious by now, exterminators are demon slayers in this. A good majority of them are average demon slayers. I'm not sure what the hierarchy within the extermination army is except for the fact that Adam is the leader and Lute the lieutenant, so let's just say the Hashira rank is really hard to obtain.

Adam and Lute are currently the only Hashiras, with Adam being the strongest (or more experienced based on how you want to see it). Although their goal isn't exactly to kill demons because they're dangerous, like in the original show they most likely do it because it's entertaining. They don't actively search for the blue spider lily either.

Since Sera and Emily are seraphim angels and Sera knows about the exterminations, I'd think they'd be doctors(?) for this AU (basically the Butterfly Mansion). Helping around the people who need it & patching wounded ones up, but Sera is the only one who knows about the blue spider lily thing and knows its location, but she doesn't believe finding it would help, even though it ends up killing a lot of demons/people in the process.

Emily is very positive about the idea of turning demons back into humans, but isn't so sure about whether they can find an antidote to it. Hence why she also feels betrayed at the reveal. (Queue You Didn't Know in the background)

Any other angels above those rankings I would assume to be the founders of the Demon Slayer Corp or the doctors who found the blue spider lily medicine.

~~~~~

Sorry for this it's js basically me rambling for absolutely no reason bc this idea popped up in me and I had the jolly idea to share it with the world even when I probably would never write a fanfic or draw something for it el oh el

If you somewhat like it at least tell me whether you want to hear the other HH main cast characters in this AU or not so it'll give me the motivation to write‼️‼️

[theamphibianmen]

Ok, I'll bite. What is The Ore?

Hehehehe I'm so glad you asked (you totally will not regret asking me) (I'm an oh so very normal person) ! Warning for very long ramblings about some very weird shit under the cut. Mostly body horror.

The Ore is a Steven Universe AU in which Steven effectively has the gem version of DID. His gem removes itself from his body and splits off into four parts, which form Rose Quartz, Pink Diamond, Pink Steven, and that thing he turns into at the end of Future. Steven's human half is still alive but he did crash the van because of this. He is also very sick and ends up needing a bone marrow transplant from Greg.

Rose, PD, PS, and the creature are also a bit smaller than they were when the gem was still intact, putting PD at about the same height as Peridot and Rose taller than Pearl but shorter than Garnet. The creature is about the size of Pumpkin, and is basically just a really angry dog.

PS talks the other gem bits into traveling to Homeworld by claiming that the Homeworld gems attacked Earth, and Little Homeworld is actually a military base. He tells them that by bringing PD back they can end the war. They get there by stealing a spaceship from Little Homeworld (it was a group project/enrichment activity for some of the Peridots). Once they get to Homeworld, PS sets his plan into motion.

This war, and everything that has ever gone wrong in his life, only happened because of disagreements between gems. That wouldn't be an issue if all gems were one.

He has Rose present PD to the other diamonds while he sneaks off to Pink's room, where he uses forced fusion tech to fuse with all the gems he can find in the palace. This amounts to quite a lot of gems since they literally make up the walls in some places.

Once he's fused all the palace gems into The Ore, the diamonds are next. Blue knows something is terribly wrong and puts the pearls and Spinel on a ship to Earth to get help. White and Yellow go willingly, but blue has to be forced. Because of this she and the other unwilling participants don't join the hive mind, which is why PS tries to convince gems to join willingly so that he doesn't have to force them.

By the time all the gems on Homeworld have fused, The Ore is the same size as Earth. Its new mission is to travel to all colonized planets and absorb all the gems there. Peridot's satellites quickly pick up on the planet sized mass hurdling towards them at 1/4 light speed. She sends the CGs (and Connie) to check it out because her readings keep coming back inconsistent, and because Homeworld isn't responding to her messages for obvious reasons.

One of the two chapters I've written so far is Connie getting vored by the planet and sent to a horrible writhing flesh labyrinth.

Imagine: you've landed on a planet that's almost entirely pink. The clouds look suspiciously familiar and the air smells strongly of metal. The ground is ever so slightly bouncy, and smooth to the touch. You stroll up and down the pink hills and come across the mouth of a cave, as in a literal mouth with lips and teeth. You enter and are quickly swallowed, tumbling down the esophagus. The ground you land on is soft enough to break your fall, but something snaps beneath. You look around to see thousands upon thousands of limbs, eyes, mouths and other body parts lining the walls. Voices cry out for help. Tears drip from the ceiling onto your face. You now understand where the gems of Homeworld have gone.

The Ore is made up of three main layers: the willing participants/crust who make up a skin-like outer layer, the uncooperative ones or the mantle who form the system of horrible flesh tunnels, and the core which is basically the gems of all the unwilling parties. PS's gem is also in the center of the core because he KNOWS ppl are coming for his ass.

The mantle is the part I wanted to write about. I'm definitely in it for the body horror aspect. And because my brother already got on me about this, no, the CGs didn't know the planet was a gem fusion because it's not reasonable to expect characters to know what genre they're in. They think they're in sci-fi fantasy when they're really in sci-fi horror with fantasy and drama undertones.

There'll be some other plot stuff too like Pearl getting corrupted and turning into a bird, Jasper sacrificing herself so that the others can escape the flesh planet, Connie dying and being resurrected, Steven shattering his own gem which won't really affect him physically but is still super fucked up, etc etc.

Basically I want to write something that someone can reasonably say is the worst thing they've ever read. I want people to be so disturbed by my writing that I get messages from mental health crisis lines. I want people to think I'm deranged.

Hope this clears things up! <3

[magic-space-games]

Life and health update or whatever.

So I’ve had this health update post sitting around in my drafts for goddamn months at this point, and right now I’m actually feeling good enough to, like... write a big-ass update with how all my various health things are going so uh... sorry folks, this is gonna be a long one. Also, warnings for frank discussion of negative health shit.

Here’s what I originally wrote

Nov. 11th 2022

So the surgeons completely missed the lump the first time (not uncommon, I'm not mad about it.) Lumpectomy round two went well! I have been recovering the last couple days, and this recovery has been easier in some ways, trickier in others. This surgery went closer to my armpit, but not actually in my armpit, so my arm has more freedom of movement but anything I do that causes my tit to shift is... bad. I have been relying very heavily on travel pillows. Also I am now quite certain that they got the right lump this time because whenever I touch the spot that the lump used to be in it Fucking Hurts.

This time around, they put a wire into the lump before surgery so that there was no mistaking it. The ultrasound team did that, and I asked them if they could give me pictures, and they said yes!!!! So I have pictures of Jeff!!!

(Jeff is the darker grey mass in the middle that looks a bit like a croissant.)

Also, I told my surgeon that I named the lump Jeff Bezos and she thought it was very funny, so I am going to get a good grade in breast cancer patient, which is normal to want and possible to achieve. Anyway, the surgeon wrote this on my recovery plan sheet:

The text reads “lumpectomy revision with wire localization (Excision of Jeff Bezos.)

__________

Now, here’s what’s been going on with me more recently.

Because the cancer spread to one of my lymph nodes (micrometastasis, caught pretty early) I’m being given a combo of chemo and radiation. Chemo started on Jan. 5th, and will be continuing into March. It’s not 100% certain when radiation will start, because we’re waiting on my genetics test to come back. If it turns out that I have The Curse then I’ll probably go for a double mastectomy and ovary removal, which should be done before radiation so that the body can heal properly from the surgery. My oncologist (who I love, he is absolutely hilarious) has called this the “less shitty” chemo. So far I have to agree. The first week wasn’t great, but I already feel almost back to normal (I know that the effects are cumulative, so it’s only gonna go downhill from here, but I’ll take my little victories where I can.) The only lasting side effect I’ve had from the chemo so far has been my mouth going numb. The first few days, my mouth tasted really chemically, and my sweat smelled pretty acrid, but that’s faded significantly. It’s just my body trying to flush the chemo drugs however it can.

The vast majority of the negative side effects I’ve been dealing with have been from the bone marrow booster Grastofil (it doesn’t give me more marrow, it just makes my marrow produce more blood cells.) Holy fuck, I have never felt pain like that. It literally felt like my bones were vomiting. Not woozy/nauseous. Like they were actually in the act of vomiting. I did also end up with a bit of a UTI because of my immune system being suppressed, but that ain’t shit compared to the bone pain. Also, I have to self-inject it, and it turns out that I faint when I try. My neighbour has actually been helping me with them because one of her kids has diabetes, so she has to do loads of these injections already and is used to it.

The actual chemo infusion itself isn’t the worst. I originally thought I’d have to drive two hours to the big city hospital to do it, but I only have to drive about 45 minutes. The nurses there are SO kind and have excellent bedside manner. They aren’t condescending, which was something I was a little worried about. The infusion itself takes about 2 hours. The first one is docetaxel, it takes a little over an hour, and while that’s on the IV I have to wear ice mitts and booties so that I don’t get any nerve damage in my fingers and toes. I think this is probably the worst part of the actual infusion process (so far) because I’m just left having to watch stuff on my phone or whatever while trying to ignore how cold I am. The second infusion is cyclophosphamide, and it lasts about 45 minutes. I haven’t had any nausea yet (knock on wood) and it’s possible that I might never. I haven’t lost my hair yet, but I did shave it off in preparation.

I’ve still been able to work a fair amount. This is a relief, because it makes scheduling a whole hell of a lot easier.

Anyway, that’s what’s been going on with my health lately! I have no clue when I’ll update again! Assume I’m fine if I’m posting I guess?

[amywritesthings]

fic writer interview.

found this in the tags while I was browsing & thought it could be a fun way to end 2022! i am not tagging anyone, but if you'd like to fill it out, then feel free to copy + paste it to a new post!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Eleven, soon to be twelve!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

113,915

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Marvel (The Avengers, Moon Knight), Star Wars (The Mandalorian, Andor), The Last of Us, The Bubble, and Stranger Things

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Point A to Point B (493)

Where Shadows Meet Spaces (356)

Meet Me at the Usual (277)

A First for Breathing (226)

Meet Me On the Other Side (118)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Every single one, no matter how long or how short! Reblogs on tumblr and replies/comments under the posts are literally my life source to keep me going through the day. I try to make sure I don't miss a single response if I can help it.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It isn't finished yet, but I have the finale outlined for Famous Last Words as I only have two more parts to go. (That I intend to finish some day I promise!) Same Old Mistakes will have the angstiest ending out of all of my fics.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not. I totally could one day, though. Just has to have the right mood.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No! Luckily I am fortunate enough to say that I have been given only constructive criticism to my fics, which is not equivalent to hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I actually really get nervous about writing smut. Like it'll take me eons to write smut chapters versus normal chapters because they're the pieces of writing I'm most self conscious about. (Even if... nearly all of my works constitute as smut-based fics.) I primarily write f/m smut just because... well, it just happens that way? And I write smut for me, so I don't primarily write things that I don't find hot. Because fic-writing it's about self-indulging, baybeeee.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No! Not that I am aware of, anyway. Hopefully not, because stealing fics is lame.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of, no.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I'm actually more well-versed in roleplay writing than I am with fanfics, so I want to say... yes? Because I've written collaborative stories with friends that I've just never published to the public, but it's a long-winded way of say yes and also no.

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't know if I have one? I write mainly reader insert because I would be writing original character x canon fic, but they don't typically sell well, so I adopted 2nd person writing to get with the times.

In terms of readership, I loved Buffy/Spike from BtVS as a kid, Garrus x Sheppard from Mass Effect 3, Zutara from ATLA, Jack & Elizabeth from POTC, Obidala, Dramione, Reylo... I'm typically a big proponent of enemies to lovers, if that hasn't been obvious yet, lol.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have a Succession fanfiction that is extremely dark and 'dead dove don't eat' territory that I've had sitting in my google docs for over a year now. I think it's some of my best writing, but I know that it's extremely taboo and very much not safe for work, so I struggle with posting it despite how I go back to read it all the time lol. I write a really good Kendall Roy, guys!

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I went to school and have a degree in pre-production motion picture and television writing, so screenwriting is my niche little hobby that I wanted to turn into a career and never did. That being said, I think that I can really pick up on dialect of characters and actors very well in order to translate them into original pieces / fanfiction, so I think most of my strengths lie within my verbal writing.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description. I absolutely loathe writing long paragraphs and descriptors and tend to gloss over when others write very long paragraph writing. My attention span just cannot handle non-quippy and whippy writing, and that goes for myself as well. I'd rather just write the dialogue and the drama going on between interpersonal relationships, and tend to struggle with setting up locations and atmospheres in a broader, descriptive sense vs. abstract.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't do it because I would have to use Google Translator and that's a total gamble, but I admire those who can and do fluently. I can read Spanish, but I cannot write it. The closest we get is me writing Din speaking in Mando'a and quite honestly I do not know if those translations are even real / up to Wookiepedia code lol.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Y'all are going to lose. your. shit over this.

Jimmy Neutron. I was nine years old. A 12-part story I still say is my best work 😂

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Point A to Point B will likely be my favorite. I have put so much of my heart and soul in that storytelling and world crafting that I'd be remiss to suggest anything else.