#i'm not even like that happy about it but i am relieved i won't lie

[furryprovocateur]

good morning

[munson-blurbs]

Love You Through It (Dad!Eddie x Mom Reader)

Summary: When you're struggling with postpartum depression, Eddie brings in some help. Just a little blurb.

Warnings: depression, anxiety, mention of pregnancy, Stancy is canon

WC: 915

A/N: I've struggled with depression, but not PPD. I tried to draw on my own experiences and what I've heard from others, and I hope I did this request justice.

--

On a Sunday morning, you wake up to the sound of Eddie's voice crackling through the baby monitor.

"Good morning, Melly Bean! Today's gonna be a beautiful day," he coos. You want to smile, soak in the way your husband dotes on your two-month-old daughter, but you just can't. It feels like there's something blocking you from feeling happy.

You roll over in bed, pulling the covers up to your chin. Eddie's baby talk fades from the monitor but gets closer to your bedroom door.

"You wanna go see Mommy? Show her how much you love her?" he asks, even pausing as if Melody can give an answer.

"Hi Mama Munson," Eddie calls to you from the doorway. "Someone wants to say 'good morning.'" His sweet smile morphs into a frown when he sees you burrowed into the blankets. "Sweetheart? What's going on?"

"Nothing," you insist, voice muffled by the layers covering you. "Just wanna sleep."

Eddie looks at you, concern evident all over his face. "Okay, love," he says finally, "we'll be in the living room if you need us."

You wait until after he closes the door to sob into your pillow.

~

"Hello?" Steve answers the phone groggily, glancing at the time. Only 7:30 AM; who could be calling at this hour?

"Harrington," Eddie''s visibly relieved by the sound of his friend's voice. "There's something wrong with Y/N."

Steve sits up immediately at this news. "What do you mean?" he asks, panicked. "Does she need to go to the hospital?" Eddie hears Nancy's quiet voice, and Steve repeats what Eddie just told him.

"I don't--I don't know if you go to the hospital for this," Eddie tells him. "She stays in bed all the time, she doesn't want to be with the baby, she barely eats..."

Nancy takes the receiver from her husband. "Eddie?" she says. "Hon, that sounds like postpartum depression."

Eddie's eyes widen. "What do I do? I've been trying to handle everything but I'm just so...tired," he admits. "It's a lot, but I don't want to make her feel worse."

"I'm coming over," Nancy says, throwing off her covers. "Give me half an hour, okay?"

Eddie nods before realizing she can't see him. "Thanks, Nance," he whispers.

~

Your bedroom door is nudged open, but instead of Eddie, Nancy's standing there.

"Can I come in?" she asks, and you nod slowly. It seems like everything is happening in slow motion these days.

She takes a seat next to you on the edge of the bed. "Eddie called us," she explains softly, rubbing your back. "He's worried about you, babe. We all are."

"'M fine," you lie, but it's no use trying to pull one over on Nancy.

"No," she shakes her head, "you're not. You should talk to your doctor, but I think you have postpartum depression."

"But how?" you cry out, voice catching in your throat. "I'd get it if I was alone, or there was something wrong with Melody, or the delivery..." You start to cry again, and you're genuinely shocked that you haven't dehydrated from all the tears you've shed. "But Eddie has been amazing, and the baby is happy and healthy, and my delivery was fine."

Nancy offers a small smile. "Unfortunately, it doesn't always work like that," she says. "It can happen to any new mommy, regardless of the circumstances."

"Nance, I feel so guilty all the time," you confide in a hushed whisper. "I want to do more, but it's like my brain and my body won't cooperate. And then it all falls on Eddie, which makes me feel even worse. Like..." you pause before allowing the truth to spill out, "like I'm failing at being a mom."

Your friend squeezes your arm gently. "You are not a failure," she reassures you. "We're gonna help you get through this, okay? This isn't your fault. If anything, it's Eddie's fault for getting you pregnant in the first place." she says with a giggle.

"I heard that!" Eddie calls out, peeking his head into the doorway. Nancy stands up when he comes in.

"You two get some rest, and I'll make some breakfast." She scoops up the baby monitor on her way out. "Don't worry about Melody; I'll take care of her if she needs me."

Eddie snuggles into bed behind to you and presses a soft kiss to the back of your neck. "You know I adore you, right?"

"Of course," you reply. "I'm sorry I haven't been showing you how much I adore you, Eds."

"My love, you carried our perfect daughter for nine months. What else can I ask for?"

"I don't know," you reply tersely, "maybe a wife who can take care of her baby, who can take care of herself?"

"And you will," he tells you, wrapping a strong arm around your waist and pulling you impossibly close. "But right now, we're gonna sleep. And when we wake up, Nancy is gonna help us find someone you can talk to. Like a therapist or something," he clarifies.

You take his hand and kiss it. "Do you think Melody hates me?" you whisper.

"Hates you? Oh, baby, absolutely not," Eddie gives a little laugh. "She loves her mommy. And she knows how much I love you, too."

"And how much is that?" you tease, snuggling into him.

Eddie's peppering kisses all over your face, his curly hair and hint of stubble tickling your cheeks.

"Does that answer your question?"

--

[cagemasterfantasy]

3rd Life Remastered Irl Segment 1 1/2

If you are just joining this and just happened upon this a warning it is highly recommended to read the prologue and Session 1 before continuing on here. With that being said while these people (save for Slimer) may be real everything they say or do is fictional this story is entirely satire. And most importantly a warning this story has sensitive topics mainly of self harm and suicide. The whole point of this story is to raise awareness for those that are struggling with Mental Health.

After sending my footage to Doodl3 I log into the discord and turn on my webcam and mic. "Hey Guys" I say looking at Mumbo "Hello Mustache or should I say no Mustache" Everyone except for Etho has their webcams on. Mumbo: "Hey I do too have a mustache. It's just very small and while I'm at it you're trying to tell me you aren't a real slime" Everyone bursts out laughing Etho: He has a point there "Etho I noticed in the Ancient City your voice sounding hoarse are you ok Etho: I'm sick right now but even still I won't miss a single session of this " "Yeah you definitely don't want to miss this" I hold Rylee up and get a bunch of awwws from everyone Scar: You take care of Rylee now Slimer" "He's my therapy dog but he's also a very friendly one" I wave his paw at everyone "He's all I have left" Bdubs: Wish I had a puppo" "Then get a puppo boyo" Bdubs: I would but it's a lot of work you're lucky you got a dog for free that loves you" "Wait till somebody else arrives it's like I don't exist to him" Impulse: Puppo" I wave Rylee's paw and feel a sharp pain in my chest followed by a whopping cough and unintentionally drop Rylee as everyone is gasping and going woah. I am reaching desperately for my inhaler Grian: Slimer do you need me to call 999?" I finally grab my inhaler and put it in my mouth and feel at ease gasping and coughing for breath as everyone looks relieved Me: Sorry about that everyone" Scar: Hey here's some advice for you don't apologize for something you can't control" Impulse: The important thing is that you are ok and we didn't lose a player" Jimmy: Yeah I need my captain" Bdubs: And I need my hype bro" Joel: I'm just glad nobody died" Me: Let's change the topic Bigb I noticed you died as well stage is all yours talk to us about what happened" Bigb: I was going back to my base to talk to Impulse Cleo and Etho and that's when Gem over there hit me from behind and crit me so I was running because I realized what was going on and that's when Grian comes out of nowhere and smacks me that's when I knew it was either Gem or Grian is Bogey. They unfortunately chased me to a cliff where Grian knocked me off" Me: Annoying voice as always Grian" Grian: HEY" Me: Well I'm going to feed Rylee and take him out I'll join you guys in a bit"

I leave the group alone and go to feed Rylee they all see me by his side petting him as he eat Scar: Aww him taking care of Rylee reminds of Jellie" I go to get Rylee's leash forgetting that my Webcam Mic and Discord is still on.

While I'm on my walk the sky is beautiful in the early evening. Traffic is slow but slowly speeding up Rylee is happy wagging his tail and he finally poops but that is when voices begin again "End it" "Kill yourself" "Bring Rylee with you" "You are nothing" A truck is coming by and I slowly walk to the edge of the sidewalk pulling Rylee with me the poor dog doesn't even know what's going on as I step closer to the edge and the truck is getting closer. Suddenly I snap back into reality realizing what's going on I drop the pooey bag grab Rylee and book it back to my apartment tears in my eyes.

Bdubs: So you give me the Golden Apples you have next session?" Scar: You my friend have yourself a de-" The door to my apartment bursts open tears in my eyes as I take Rylee's leash off and lay on the bed everyone going "Hey hey HEY HEY" as I pull my inhaler out and use it.

As I go to my computer I gulp trying to think of some lie Grian: I think all of us need to have a talk with you about what we just saw" Major: Why are you so upset did somebody hurt you" Scar: Talk to us we're all here for you" Mumbo: Please we're all worried for you" Cleo: Yeah what's wrong did something happen with you and Rylee?" I gulp and say "Kind of" Pearl: What do you mean kind of?" "Well I was on my walk and I started to space out" Gem: Why is that something to be upset about"

Realizing I have no way out I take a deep breath and say "I heard voices in my head while I was on my walk and" Grian's eyes go wide "I tried to walk in front of an oncoming truck with Rylee Scott: WHAT" Joel: THE" Bigb: HECK?" Grian: Are you actually kidding me right now?" I shake my head at Grian's question Grian: How long has this been going on for? Cleo: More importantly why haven't you told anybody?" "It's not as easy as you think I didn't tell you all of you for this reason" Scar looks absolutely hurt and shocked by this news Bigb: Didn't tell anybody for what reason you tried to kill yourself and your dog?" "Bigb it isn't as easy as you think I've been dealing with this since........" Bigb: Since when?" "....." Grian's eyes widen in realization Grian: Since your divorce? With Laura?" I nod my head Grian: And you didn't think to talk to me?" Me: It's not as easy as you think Grian the first step is always admitting you have a problem which is the hardest part" Grian: Hey calm down alright I'll be coming over to your place later tonight and me and you are going to have a very serious talk about what is going on and whether you can continue in the Life Series with us" Not feeling like I have a choice I nod and log out of Discord turning off my webcam and my mic.

A few hours later Doodl3 sends me a text "Yo dude you're blowing up" Me: What do you mean?" Doodl3: Check your subscriber count you just gained 1.5 million in the past 2 hours you are now at 8 million subscribers" Me: WHAT?" I check my phone at the latest video and scroll to the comments. "Man I feel sorry for this guy hearing voices in his head and suicide that would explain why he was always staring so blankly" I'm genuinely confused by what everyone is talking about and how they knew this information until I get a link from Doodl3 saying "you might want to check this out and after we have quite a bit to talk about" I click on the link and see it's my discord confession to the entire group somebody was recording me without any of us knowing and posted the video to an anonymous account.

Fury is in my eyes as I storm over to my computer where everyone is chatting about the video and scream "WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT" Grian: Calm down there is no need t-" "CALM DOWN CALM DOWN MY SUBSCRIBERS NOW KNOW ABOUT WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH ME BECAUSE ONE OF YOU RECORDED AND FILMED IT AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE CALM?" Scar: Getting angry isn't going to help with it" "WELL I'M ONLY ANGRY AT WHOEVER DID THIS" I break out into a coughing fit and use my inhaler again "So I give you guys a chance to stand up for yourself bring yourself forward whoever did it and I won't be angry" After nobody confesses I am fed up I lean into my mic and say "you know what everyone?" Grian: No I know that tone in your voice don't do it or you won't be getting the surprise I have for everyone" " SCREW ALL OF YOU" as chaos unfolds I log out of Discord turn off my mic and webcam and lay on my bed Rylee laying next to me wagging his tail and licking my tears away. Meanwhile my phone is blowing up from texts from Doodl3 Grian and everyone else.

I'm crying for I don't know how long before I feel a tightness in my chest and I knock my inhaler away I'm unable to get to it before I feel weak coughing and wheezing as my vision gets blurry and I fall to the ground. I hear my apartment door open and a faint voice ???: HEY" I see somebody pick up my inhaler and put it in my mouth ???: Hey you ok? "Who are-" I feel myself lifted on my couch Grian: Easy now it's ok" Me: Grian? How did you- Grian: you left your apartment door unlocked I heard you coughing so I came in to help you wondering if you were alright breathe compose yourself recover then we need to talk" Grian notices a violin near my bed and sees an opputunity to help Grian: You play?" I nod Grian: What songs do you like to play? Me: I can play any video game soundtrack but my personal favorite is Waterfall from Undertale but I'm currently practicing Blaze of Iris from Epic Battle Fantasy 5 that one is 7 and a half minutes" As Grian sees me calm down he begins to speak Grian: So how long have the voices been going on for?" Me: Ever since Laura......." Grian looks at me with a look of sympathy Grian: You loved her didn't you?" Me: Yes Rylee is all that i have left" Grian: Have you ever felt suicidal?" Me: Yes the voices ahve been telling me to end it from time to time but this is the first time I attempted it" I see Rylee lay on Grian's lap Me: Traitor" I say as I see him wag his tail Grian: Hello Ry Ry" He pets Rylee

Me: So you said you had a surprise for me?" Grian: For everyone actually we aren't doing anymore regular videos for this season we are heading over to Minecon Los Angelos for 2 weeks well except Etho he said he isn't feeling very well but he will still be in this season with us livestreaming as well we're all meeting up in person" My eyes go wide Me: What about Rylee I can't go anywhere without him" Grian: Don't worry I made arrangements for you and Rylee all of us you and I are going to the airport in 2 days so that we can go to Los Angelos the airport allows therapy dogs the limo all of us will be getting in will have enough room for all of us including Rylee. Everyone is on board pets are going to be looked at. And Hotel allows pets and" He whispers into my ear Grian: There's going to be food there when we arrive at the hotel for guests of honor all paid for beforehand so everyone can eat to their heart's delight" My eyes perk up Grian: There's a catch though you need to apologize to everyone for what you said to everyone because we don't know who uploaded that video and even if we did you can not and I repeat CAN NOT take your anger out on us" I look really guilty about what I said Grian: You know Bdubs daughter Ariana heard you say that and she is concerned she looks up to you she really loves your videos and to hear you say that to her father is a lot for her to go through"

I grab my phone and text @doodl3 "Yo listen I promise to explain everything but I have an important question for you how good are you at moderating a stream the rest of this season is going to be live at Minecon this year with everyone else more importantly will you be there?"

To be continued in segement 1 2.0

Previous

[kaiseinx]

Hugo Otters (Return of the disaster-class hero)

request from : @momut

at first, it was just me and him.

well.. until he decided to bring Lee gun too.

me and Lee gun didn't get along very well.

why? because he's annoying!!

but as long as he's happy with Lee gun then i don't mind.

I'm not one of the saint, neither do I have an important part on saving the world.

i don't know, all i know is I'm just me.

i feel a bit useless because i can't help him while he's fighting..

i didn't quite remember anything that happen before the disaster happen, but all i could remember is that I'm always with him.

I'm used to have a fight with Lee gun whenever we go out. so when Lee gun was announced "dead" i know that's not the case.

i know that the other saint never liked him. well, i know how does that feel. when you're thinking you're the best but then someone who's smarter, stronger, popular than you showed up and making you live in their shadow.

but even tho i understand it, i don't like them. i hate it that they make him sad.

i always try to comfort him.

right now, he's married. they even have 2 children, one girl and one boy.

i already gave up on him since the day they meet, i also try to distance myself from them. but they always notice it and always worries about me.

why are you guys so nice to me? why? didn't you ever think that i must have something against you guys?

they're too nice to me... i don't know how to feel about it. I'm relieved but also scared, what if they found out about my thoughts and leave me? what would happen to me later?

everyday, everytime i hang out with them i feel relieved, that they haven't throw me away. they still need me.

it happen too fast. that accident happen too fast, even tho i was there all i could do was seeing her sacrifice herself and I'm literally just trying to calm her son's down while trying not to make any loud sound.

it's my fault. he's crying. i don't like him crying. stop crying. it hurts to see you cry. if I'm the one who sacrifice myself would it be better? now i think.. why aren't i be the one who's laying in the bed instead? at least no one will be sad right?

his children admires Lee gun. i don't know what they see in him. okay he's cool but if there's a strong wind I'm sure he'll be bald in no time.

Lee gun is Lee gun. he's back now, I'm just happy because hugo is happy. but because of that accident all i could feel is guilt. i can try and fake a smile, but everytime i do that Lee gun always glare at me. like.. what did i do wrong???

it's just a matter of time and suddenly that disaster show it self again, but this time, they win.

that makes me realize, i still can change this. i don't know how but i can go back to the past, well not just like that. it have to be the past that i remember very clearly, for the first time, I'm glad that i remember every detail of that moment.

this is it. i quickly pull her hand, now, it's different. she was the one who's in the car while I'm the one who's outside. i didn't mind. i just thought that i should've done this sooner. but the cost of doing this is breaking my soul. I'm scared. why do you look scared? shouldn't you be happy? i know, human are selfish. so am i. i just and hugo to be happy, but since his happiness is with you, then i just have to keep you alive. i don't know what I'm thinking right now. i just smiled at you because I'm glad i can make him happy by doing this.

I'm sorry for breaking the doors car, but i have to make sure i didn't do any mistake again. you have to stay there this time. not me.

ah, it's a lie if i say that I'm not feeling scared when I'm running to that disaster, I'm really scared. but i won't change my mind. I'm scared everytime i see him and your children sad. because i could've save their mom. but i didn't do it.

it's dark here, and silent.. i don't know what happening outside anymore, i just hope they didn't put hope that i can still be alive if they killed that monster. but I'm glad. now the children wouldn't lost their mother, now hugo will be relieved right? and he wouldn't lost his power.

i hate here.. i hate dark place..

even tho my soul have broken it didn't hurt. I'm relieved. i hate being hurt.

now, i hope they will stop worrying about me, and good luck meeting with Lee gun, hugo.

don't mind me here. I'm just sitting in a dark room while everyday my soul keep broke, it's like a shattered mirror. when you punch it it left a mark.

i don't know how many times, days, or months have passed by now.

but all i know is that it'll need 20 years for Lee gun to appear, by that time, i don't think my soul will still here.

you're right, Lee gun. i wish i confess to him first before this. i should've listen to you when you say that i should do it quickly. but at the same time i didn't want to do it. i just need him to be happy. even tho It's not with me then it's fine.

i wish they didn't put hope in me. because right now, i never hope i could get out either.

I'm happy right now, so you guys better be happy. okay? thank you for always worrying about me. even tho you shouldn't do that.

thank you. I'm sorry i never said that to you. thank you for worrying, and helping me. and this is how i repay you. by saving your wife and son.

thank you, and sorry.

[sidetrek]

Hi! Not really an ask but I just wanted to tell you that I’ve just pursued your Zelon V comic and I’ve literally devoured it, IT REALLY IS THAT GOOD… the pacing, the structure, the dialogue are so easy to follow yet SO INTENSE and full of intention and care for the characters and meaning… I revisit your content so many times a day, a week, a month, I enjoy it even when I’m just thinking about it. So yeah, excuse the long comment, I just wanted to thank you for your work and your effort, and congrats for this amazing comic. Llap, 🖖🏻

🥹🥹thank you so much!! it's really gratifying (and a little relieving!) to hear how much you liked it and all the things you picked up on--pacing and structure are really important to me, and so is being easy to follow! I try to make my stuff as clear and readable as possible (and i'm getting better at that over time I think!) without sacrificing intensity so I'm just sitting over here really happy that it all hit for you! And also that you revisit my work still find enjoyment in it--

it makes me beyond thrilled and honestly fills up that motivation pool to keep working and chugging along on these pages. i won't lie and say they aren't a lot of work, but feedback like this just proves you guys know what i'm about and i'm glad there's people out there vibing about this the same way I am! And no i will NOT excuse the long comment because i appreciate it so much and i'm rolling around on the floor right now. messages like these are really important to me and it helps more than you know to hear it sometimes. But thank you very much for the support and checking out my work, I'm very grateful you did and even more so you enjoy it so much! 💕💕

[laufire]

I'm not saying you SHOULD watch s2, but i AM saying that if you like Genya, Baghra, Jesper, and Nina you will be happy to know they're definitely featured more this season than last.... 👀 (jesper backstory! nina showing up kaz! baghra's backstory! genya getting to say fuck you to the Queen!)

I'm most curious about Alina's storyline, in a shocking reversal from season one LMAO. But I'm glad to know these other characters might get some good stuff going for them. I'm relieved to hear that about Jesper in particular, because I won't lie, I don't think I'm going to enjoy his romantic subplot 😅. The actor they've picked for his love interest looks like a child to me and I can't get over it.

My one issue is that I didn't think the first season was good or even entertaining, and that it dragged on a lot for a show that was already criminally short. And I fear season two won't be much of an improvement there tbh. I guess I can always fast-forward scenes lol.

But I won't touch it until I'm all caught up with Yellowjackets and set to start with season two with the rest of the fans :D

[sushiosims]

Kurtis and Chaya

CHAPTER TWO

He lifts her up off the ground and sits her on the counter, the kisses getting deeper and more frantic 'Not here' he whispers hoarsely, grabbing her hand and pulling her through to the bedroom

Shedding the rest of their clothes on the way to the bedroom, Kurtis is surprised to see a tattoo, he smiles 'You have kept that one hidden' She laughs, 'Not many people get to see that one' he drops a kiss on it and starts kissing her all over until she cant take anymore

She urges him on to his back and straddles him 'I like being in control' He grins, 'Whatever you like' relieved for once, he won't be doing all the work, the tequilas have hit him heavy, and he is quite happy to just lie there and take it Venessa looks down at him in wonder

They move together, a tangle of limbs and mouths Kurtis is enjoying it, I mean, Its Venessa Jeong, but it is not hitting the spot like it usually does, everyone's words are ringing in his head...'Am I really such a dick?' he is thinking, but knowing he won't see Venessa again

Suddenly impatient Kurtis manoeuvres Venessa round and starts to work his magic on her...she may rule the silver screen, but he knows where his own talents lie. She is shaking, begging him to stop and to keep going simultaneously, he smiles and slows down, bringing her to ecstasy

Straight away Kurtis groans with satisfaction, with a smile on his face, he falls asleep without another word Venessa pulls on her underwear and lies there watching him sleep 'Not a hugger then' she thinks She wonders what to do, should she stay? Should she go? What was this?

About 10 minutes later Kurtis stirs, and gets up yawning 'Sorry, the tequila, the day drinking...the sex. I just crashed' 'No worries' Kurtis makes a big show of yawning again 'Damn, I am working in an hour' he looks at her and smiles 'It's been great'

She sits up 'Yeah it has, say...I have an award thing at the weekend, you, er wanna come? Be my plus one?' she looks almost shy 'Can't, sorry, I was sent to speak to you tonight by my boss, if she finds out not only did I not sign you, I slept with you, I would lose my job'

'Come through and I will make you a cuppa' he says walking through to the living area. She follows behind, getting more pissed off with every step They sit down and she bites out with 'So I'm pretty sure you could have told me at any point last night this was a one time thing?'

He looks at her helplessly, 'I didn't know what was going to happen, that we would connect like we did! I didn't plan this, I got lost in the moment...but I need this job...my sister, she's sick...' She falters, her rage easing at the sadness on his face

'Look, I'm sorry, but this would just end up really complicated...' Kurtis reiterates. 'Of course I would see you again, if I could' He picks up his phone 'Here, let me call you a taxi, make sure you get home safe, I really need to get to work'

Venessa is now pissed, she cannot believe she has been dismissed so easily. She was Venessa Yeong! Next big thing! And she could tell that Kurtis really liked her too. No uppity press agent was going to dictate who she could date! It was time to take matters into her own hands

After an awkward silence, a horn beeps outside 'There's your ride!' Kurtis jumps up, ushering Vanessa to the door 'Thanks for tonight, it was so special, I will never forget it' Kurtis says, smiling regretfully at her 'I am just sorry it has to end, before it can even begin'

'You never know, we may meet again' Vanessa says, looking at him in a way that made him a bit nervous. 'I believe in fate, and we were meant to meet, I know it...and so do you'

'Er, yeah. Fate! Destiny! All in the stars! What's for you will not go by you, and if it's meant to be, it's meant to be! All that! 100%' he replies. The horn beeps again 'Thanks Vanessa, I hope we meet again, good luck at the awards!' he kisses her cheek and ushers her out...

As soon as Vanessa's taxi pulls away, Kurtis gets changed into his joggies and flops down on the couch. He isn't working today. He just didn't feel like having her linger. He checks his phone and swipes away messages from several girls, feeling a little more guilty than usual

He sends a text to Nate 'Bud, you workin? Want to hit gym?' He needs to get out the house, he is used to getting a ribbing from his friends about his amount of conquests, but last night, hearing from practical strangers that they think he is a complete dick has hit him hard

Truthfully, he does not know why he does what he does, its just so easy for him to take what or who he wants...he has never had a relationship, he has never loved. He sees what Rez has, and he was right, he is jealous. But he wouldn't even know where to start

He gets a text back, 'Sure bud, head over to mine when you are ready' Kurtis smiles and gets up and gets ready to leave. A good workout always makes him feel better

He gets to Nates house, and knocks. No answer. He heads round to the side of the house and sees Kara by the pool. He gulps thickly at the sight of her, she is actually beautiful...if only it wasn't Nate's sister 'Kara?' he calls, she turns round and faces him

'Its you' she says, rolling her eyes 'Nate got called out for emergency cover at the hospital, he said he could be an hour or so, you can wait if you want, but don't expect me to entertain you'

He laughs despite himself 'What a welcome, yeah I will hang around if you don't mind, I don't feel like going home' he looks at the pool 'Mind if I join you for a swim?'

'If you like, you can grab a pair of Nate's trunks from his room' 'No need' Kurtis grins, stripping down to his boxer shorts and diving right in. The warm pool was heaven against the winter chill in the air 'You comin in?' he shouts

They swim around and chat 'Why are you so mean to me then?' Kurtis laughs 'Cos you are a fuck boy, and you know it' she answers deadpan 'I don't like boys like you' she smirks at him 'But you are very, very attractive, and truth be known...we are more alike than I care to admit'

He bursts out laughing and splashes her 'Aha! So you are a fuck-girl?' 'I didn't say that, but well, I tend not to get tied down until I find the right one' Kurtis looks at her 'Don't get your hopes up...its not you' She hops out the pool and beckons him to follow her

'Look, you're hot. I'm hot. Nate won't be back for an hour at least...you want to come inside?' she says, without missing a beat 'We can dry off your underwear and get cleaned off' the way she is looking at him...he struggles with his conscience...but not for long 'Sure'

They get into the bathroom without another word spoken...he slides up behind her and wraps his still damp arms around her, both shivering from the cold and something else...'Are you sure about this?' he says 'If Nate finds out...'

Click below for Chapter 3

[lv-iceprince]

@talpois

Okay let's get the obvious out of the way, sorry for the hella delay, I'm also working on your other request(s?)at the time of posting this, so yay progress!

I decided to post this one first, for the reason that god damn girl I love your music taste and this was such a fun ship to do for you. Plus I love doing a ship like this for the person I ship you with, it's just good vibes all around.

So please enjoy and strap in I got some good ships coming up for you!

And side note, I accidentally let the inner Aussie out with a nostalgic 5sos song for your couple song.

~Stray Kids~ Chan

~General Analysis~

Man okay I will say it again I was so pumped doing this ship, the energy you have as a person is spectacular, I can't describe it but I just really like you and your playlist just confirmed that I am in the presence of someone cool, iconic, thoughtful and fabulous. I knew who I wanted to ship you with, I can't lie, I won't lie. I don't even remember the last time I shipped him with anyone so I was so excited. I want to say this is an everyday sweetheart type of love but it really isn't. There are so many spectacular things about you, the same thing goes for Chan, you both worked hard to have what you have and you see the world through a lens where fair judgement is key. Neither of you hesitate to tell a person how you feel, similar to how you both worked hard for what you have you don't waste time in people pleasing. You are both incredibly realistic with your goals and aspirations, you know love isn't all happiness and rainbows yet you still want to experience it, you're fearless.

Since this is an old request of mine I have added the playlist below so you know which songs I used to dictate the idol I shipped you with and the aesthetic:

— no fun by joji; — polaroid love by enhypen; — i hate u by sza; — i'm gonna love you' by d.o.; — die for a man by bebe rexha; — do it for me by rosenfeld; — i am woman by emmy meli; — melody by ash island; — do it like this by p1harmony; — oh my god by adele; — she by harry styles; — date ur fada by ebony; — do 4 love by snoh aalegra.+

This ship isn't for me to rank your playlist but a solid 8/10 I really liked the vibe and the energy. The inner musician in me latched onto this and I really feel like I know you, people who listen to music like this, they slap, like they're just cool people. If we just address the playlist the composition of each song (the rhythm, lyrics, tempo, texture etc..) held a sense of familiarity even though I wasn't even familiar with some of these songs. But what stood out to me was that each song seemed to touch on realistic scenarios, ones where life experience encourages us to revaluate ourselves and adapt. Essentially your playlist came across as an anthem for those who persist with life in general and acknowledge who they really are along the way.

So I would like to give you and Chan the title of being 'the Realistic Dreamers'.

It is no secret that this feels similar to Chan. He is worthy of the praise he receive since he really has transcended expectations from everyone, only to come back on live and remind us that he works through things and that he is a human. That's the connecting point, Chan would honestly feel relieved to bump into a person who understands. That's important, not even because he expects you to understand his career and his train of thought. It's more that he found something in you that reassures him that he is on the right track in life. Especially when you decided to stick by his side.

The honesty in the playlist is so nice to see, it addresses love, heartache, inner strength and everything in-between. I alluded to it earlier but that really was the bonding point for you and Chan. It was a friends to lovers situation but with a difference. Neither of you were trying to be the best friend in the whole entire universe, you were just being yourselves. This basically kickstarted Chan's crush on you (some would call it an infatuation but that's besides the point), he didn't have to be overly polite he could sigh in frustration, he could swear, he could be honest and instead of criticising him you laughed with him or you decided to rant with him. That's the key thing that progressed your relationship with him into a more romantic one.

Chan is a pretty sentimental guy when he is in love, so you really don't have to over exert yourself or make yourself seem more charming or intelligent because he already sees you in a biased way. He loves also has a soft spot for your behaviour, more so the fact you are so nice to children yet manage to appear as a strong authority figure in your own right? He is on his knees. Chan is also amazed at how you're so certain about things, maybe you could argue with someone and turn out to be wrong but your confidence is really something he is in awe of. He likes that you don't back down if someone is questioning either of you, he likes having a headstrong, tough little girlfriend.

Chan remains somewhat private over your relationship, it's not that he doesn't love you but he is aware that you are both feeling intense periods of absolute love and devotion. Plus he just wants to keep it as a "the less others know about our feelings and what we do the better" type situation. He feels emotions pretty deeply as well, he too is another one that focuses more on ones personality/ soul/ vibes rather than their appearance. He does admire people's style but he fell for you based on your personality, which amplified the beauty you already possess.

Now the moodboard is pretty straight forward considering what I had mentioned above. It really just shows the duality that the two of you have. Maybe you are both more casual and more laidback with lowkey eshay vibes but that's besides the point. Chan likes to experience random moments in his daily life with you, but he also loves to play the part of a good boyfriend. He isn't against being a little lovesick and goofy with his love for you. All in all he would gladly break his mainly black wardrobe with some cute pink items if you bought it for him. He isn't a push over but he is just more happy to do cute things for you if you wanted him to or if the moment felt right.

I relied less on colour theory and meaning for this one because honestly basing everything off of your personality, the playlist and my confidence that you and Chan would be an amazing couple I decided to make like the playlist and be 100% honest. Your moodboard represents how the relationship is, period. Others can judge and it is open to interpretation if looking from the outside in but you guys really have a take-it-as-it-is vibe. You don't hide things from each other since your relationship would be widely built on the friendship you have with him. If you guys want to be a bit goofy funny, if you want to be serious , if you want to have a heart to heart, if you want to speak through music when words are too heavy, it's all okay. It didn't take long to come to the conclusion that your relationship needed to be as genuine as your friendship and you did that.

If anyone can take anything away from the little that they know about your relationship it is that when you both set your mind to something, it will always, always work out for the best. Even if you feel like you're both about to mess up and stray from the best possible path in your life, it will always work out because you have each other.

~Moodboard~

Okay, to be fair, I listened to your playlist on a loop and somehow these Chan pics were the only way I could visualise your playlist? I'm confused too mate.

~Your Song~

~Shufflemancy Reading~

Can't help myself but count the flaws Claw my way out through these walls One temporary escape Feel it start to permeate

We lie beneath the stars at night Our hands gripping each other tight You keep my secrets hope to die Promises, swear them to the sky

[jess-unkommentiert]

[19] Despair

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

CW: This chapter is hard stuff. If you don't feel good with reading it, please skip. Warning: emotional roller coaster, descriptions of injuries and accidents.

December 5th 2022 - Atlanta Flashback „Please don't cry, prinţesă. I don't like to see you like that. I love you too much to see you hurt like that." Seb said with a lovable voice - y/n could see sparkles and passion in his eyes.

The biggest possible firework exploded in her stomach, she placed her hand above Sebastian's - that was still on her cheek - and she answered:

„I love you too, honey. You can't even imagine how much."

Realtime Y/N could see tears in the edge of his eyes when she said the words that needed to be said between them for a while.

Yeah their relationship was a roller coaster and it was a fast one. The didn't know each other long but when you realize that the other person is 'the one' you don't want to waste time with each other. There was no blueprint for love.

It felt right for y/n to say the words and in Sebastian's eyes she could tell that he felt the same. They loved each other. And it took a damn accident to confess it.

Couldn't it be in another way?

Sebastian placed his arm next to his abdomen again and she could see the pain in his eyes.

"Are you in pain, honey?" she asked with a concerned voice while she fell down on her chair again - grabbing Sebastian's hand. After hours of holding his cold and lifeless hand he finally squeezed hers back.

"No, I'm fine." he lied.

"I can see that you're lying. Remember? Eyes never lie." she sighed and forced herself to smile at him.

"Okay. I am in pain. But I'm just enjoying every second of us. Didn't want to destroy the moment, you know." he whispered.

"I'm gonna get a doctor. Then he can explain to you what happened and what they did in the surgery. He explained it to me this night already. But I didn't understand half of the words, so I won't be able to tell you." she said and raised her body from the chair. She leaned over him again and finally gave him a kiss on his lips. He deepens the kiss before they broke apart so that he could breath again. Y/N could tell that he was still not breathing properly and it seemed like the deep breaths that he was taking right now hurt him - although he tried to maintain a straight face.

She left the room to look for Dr. Smith and found him in his office. He sat behind a huge desk and typed in his computer - glasses on his nose.

Y/N cleared her throat and Dr. Smith raised his head to see the visitor in his door frame.

"Miss Y/L/N, how can I help you?" he asked with a friendly smile.

"Sebastian... ehm... Mr. Stan is awake. He woke up 10 minutes ago. I wanted to let you know. And he is in pain, although he tries to deny it. I saw it in his eyes." she answered him with a slightly concerned expression on her face.

Dr. Smith grabbed the glasses and placed them on the desk - looks like he only needs them to read on the computer screen.

"I will let the nurse bring him some more painkillers. He will get it through the IV. I'll be around in an hour to check his wound and change the plasters on his side. Also I will explain to him what happened and how his recovery will be going. How are YOU feeling? You look better than an hour ago." he observed her closely.

"Yes, I am much better. I feel relieved that he woke up and that he is fine. According the circumstances." she answered and gave the doc a small smile.

He nodded in response before y/n turned around to head back to Sebastian's room. The doctor followed her closely to gave the nurse the information about the painkillers. Y/N opened Sebastian's door and saw him laying exactly in the same way as she left him.

"I missed you!" he said and pouted.

"You're a dork. I was gone for how long? 5 Minutes?" she laughed. It was the first honest laughter since two days and Sebastian was happy to hear her beautiful voice again.

"At least 6! I thought you left me." his face looked still like he was offended but she knew that he was acting right now. He was indeed a good actor - no news for her as she saw his performances over the last decades.

"I would never ever leave you, Sebastian." she smiled at him while walking around the bed to sit next to him. She could see that he wanted to extend his arm in her direction but as he tried to move his arm again, his face was full of pain.

She reached out her own hand to place it on his shoulder and said: "The nurse should be here soon. Doctor Smith said you will get some painkillers though the IV."

He turned his head to look at her and smiled.

God did she miss that smile. The view of him unconscious in the hospital bed will probably haunt her in her dreams for a long time. 

A few seconds later a female nurse entered the room with a syringe in her hand. She smiled at y/n and Sebastian and inserted the liquid of the syringe at the device that combined the three tubes from the syringe-machine. Y/N still didn't understand what that machines does.

"Mr. Stan, this is a strong painkiller. If you feel dizzy or get tired again: this is normal. Don't fight against it, please. Just take your time. Your body needs a lot of rest now." she said with a very calm voice.

"Okay, thank you." Sebastian answered while looking at her with a small smile on his face. Then he turned his head again to look at y/n. She gave his shoulder an encouraging squeeze and said:

"It's okay, honey. If you're tired then just sleep. I'll be still here when you wake up."

"But I don't want to sleep. I want to be with you." he said with a sad face expression.

"As far as I can determine your well-being, you won't run anywhere in the next days. So you'll be forced to be with me." she said, looked around to see if the nurse was already gone - she was - and kissed Sebastian gently on his lips.

He looked like he was already fighting against the urge to close his eyes. His eyelids became heavier with every second.

"Just close your eyes. It's alright." she said and caressed his upper arm.

Sebastian didn't want to, but he was not able to keep his eyes open so he fell asleep right afterwards. Y/N was kind of shocked how fast the painkillers did their job, but she was happy that he wasn't in pain anymore.

She grabbed her phone out of the pocket and decided that she would call Mackie and let him know that Sebastian was awake. To not disturb the sleeping man she went outside in the corridor. She called Mackie, but he didn't answer. It was 8:15 am so she wasn't sure if he was still asleep or already in a meeting with someone from Marvel to see how the accident effected the time schedule.

Y/N Hey, Mackie. Just wanted to let you know that he woke up. He went back to sleep five minutes ago, because he was in a lot of pain and the painkillers made him tired again. But he is fine. Was already able to smile again. But can't even move his arms without pain. Will be a long way 'til he will be able to work again. The doctor will come over later to check his wounds. I hope to have more information for you afterwards.

She locked her phone and saw Dr. Smith coming in her direction. A nurse was following him with some stuff to change bandages and plasters and everything that comes with that. Maybe it was time to check Sebastian's wound. She was sorry that he just fell asleep and that the doctor might wake him up while the examination.

"Miss Y/L/N, how is he doing?" Dr. Smith asked her.

"He was in a lot of pain, but as soon as the nurse gave him the painkillers, he fell asleep again."

"Oh, then I try to be gentle and quiet to not wake him. He needs to rest as much as possible. His body is still recovering from a major surgery and bad injuries."

"Can I go inside with you?" she asked shy. As the doctor and the nurses wanted her to be out of the room earlier, she wasn't sure if she was allowed to be in there while the examination.

"I think that will be okay." he said, opened the door and waited for y/n to go inside.

Sebastian was still sleeping with his head turned towards the window - where y/n was standing earlier.

They entered the room and Dr. Smith and the nurse were standing on the right side next to Seb's bed. Y/N was standing behind it, because she was curious and wanted to know how the wound looked like.

The nurse slowly pushed the hospital gown beside so that they were able to see his bare upper body.

Y/N let out a loud squeak with a high pitched voice when she saw Sebastian's left side. Quickly she put her hands in front of her mouth to not wake him.

It looked terrible. She suddenly realized how bad Sebastian was injured.

Most of his left side was covered in a dark blue bruise. The bruise covered most of the area around his nipple and went down until his hip bone. So almost 80% of the left side of his abdomen was covered in a giant bruise.

On the side of his body she could see a small plaster with a tube coming out of his body.

There was a fucking tube coming right OUT OF HIS BODY. The tube was partly filled with blood and the doctor explained to y/n that it was a drainage that was used to get the blood out of his body that was still in the area around the lung.

The lung still needed to unfold to its normal size so with blood filling that area, it could be a problem. That's why they left the drainage inside of his body. They would release the drainage before Seb was able to go home at the end of the week.

Above the drainage was another small plaster. Underneath it was the wound where the doctor used the hollow needed with the syringe to draw the air from the pleural space.

The nurse peeled off both plasters and y/n could see that Seb's skin around those areas were a mixture of orange from the iodine and blue from the bruise.

The wound itself was very small. Just three stitches. The doctor looked at it  in detail and said that everything looked good. They covered it with a new plaster.

The drainage was also fixed with stitches so they checked those wounds as well. They wanted to be sure that there were no infection. But it looked good as well and the nurse covered it with a new plaster.

Sebastian slept through the whole procedure.

Then the doctor checked the syringes at the machine and explained that in one of them was an antibiotic, in the second one was a not so strong, but constant painkiller and the third one included a saline solution to keep his body hydrated.

They would leave the machine attached to the IV on his body for the next one to two days. Depended how fast he recovered from the surgery.

„Everything looks very good. I will come back later when he's awake so that I can explain to him in detail what happened and how the recovery process will look like. I assume he will stay with you?" Dr. Smith asked.

„Yeah, of course!" y/n answered without any hesitation.

„Then the nurses will show you tomorrow how to change the plasters and clean the wounds if necessary. The stitches get out in 14 days, so he will have them for a week at home as well. I will explain the rest to you within the next days. And answer your questions. No need to worry. It's not complicated."

The nurse next to the doctor smiled at her in agreement. Y/N thanked the doctor and they left the room.

Y/N laid down on the couch to maybe get some rest, too. But when she grabbed her phone to scroll through Instagram she saw some messages:

Susan Heard about Sebastian. Damn! Is he fine? Are you with him?

Jennifer Anthony told us that you're in the hospital with Sebastian. Take your time. Shooting is paused anyways for the whole week. Let me know if you or Sebastian need anything.

Unknown number Hello Y/N, this is Joe Russo. I heard you're with Sebastian. Please let us know if you have more information. Say hi to him and speedy recovery.

Mackie I'll be around in 10 minutes. Have a vanilla latte and a bagel with cream cheese and turkey for you. Hope you like it.

Anthony's message was sent 5 minutes ago, so he must be here soon. No time to sleep then.

Y/N sighed and sat up on the couch. The doctor and the nurse said that Sebastian needed rest to recover as soon as possible. So she decided that Anthony and her would go on a little stroll through the hospital so she can update him with the newest information. Although she wanted to be by Sebastian's  side when he wakes up again - like she promised.

She left the room after placing a kiss on Seb's forehead and caress over his cheek. She could see Anthony coming down the corridor with a tray with three coffee cups and a large paper bag.

"Good Morning, y/n! Let me see the sleeping beauty!" he screamed in her direction with a smile on his face.

"Hi Anthony. The doctor said we have to let him sleep as much as possible. Let's walk around the hospital and I can update you." she said and gave him also a welcoming smile.

"It's so good to see you smile again, you know." Anthony said with a straighter face before his mood lightened up again.

They went on a walk through the corridors until the reached the cafeteria. They sat down and had their coffees and bagels. Anthony brought something for Sebastian as well, but the coffee would be cold when he wakes up. Maybe he could enjoy the bagel. Y/N wasn't even sure if he was allowed to eat normal food. She didn't know anything yet. But the doctor wanted to explain everything to her within the next few days.

Anthony was shocked when y/n explained to him how the wounds looked like - of course after they finished their breakfast.

„So he needs someone to take care of him after he's been released?" he asked. Y/N knew that Anthony's apartment was right next to Seb's so this would be the cleverest option. So Seb had all of his stuff nearby while living with Anthony.

„I thought about bringing him at my apartment and then I can cook for him and help him with everything. He wasn't even able to lift his arm. I am pretty sure he won't be able to walk or go to the bathroom alone in the beginning." y/n said thoughtful.

„You sure, you wanna do this? I mean it's a lot." Anthony asked carefully.

They both knew that it was the only realistic option. Of course being at Anthony's would be clever because of all of Seb's stuff. But nobody knew when Anthony had to go back to set. And then Seb would be all alone.

„Yeah, I am. I'm gonna ask Jennifer if I can have unpaid days off until Seb is stable enough to live on his own for a few hours a day. That should be fine. I'll be there for him - no matter what." she said and Anthony smiled at her.

„Young Love..." he chuckled and got a hard smack on his upper arm as response.

They decided to go back to Seb's room for the case that he had already wake up.

When they were near his door, they could hear voices out of the room. It was a male voice, but it was not Sebastian's.

Anthony opened the door and saw Dr. Smith standing at the left side of Sebastian's bed. He was holding the hospital gown and Sebastian looked down his abdomen with a shocked expression. His face was very pale again and y/n could see on the monitor that his heart rate was a lot faster than earlier.

„... and we will observe closely how much blood will come out of the drainage and if there is no more coming, we can pull it. After that is done I want to have you here for another two nights and than you can go home." Dr. Smith was explaining Sebastian everything about his injuries and the surgery - like he had promised.

The two men heard the visitors and Dr. Smith turned around to see who was coming into the room. He recognized y/n and Anthony, gave them a welcoming wave with his hand and turned around to Sebastian to continue his explanation.

„You're not allowed to sit straight in the first two weeks. The good thing is: you won't be able do that anyways. I'm not gonna lie to you: the pain of three broken rips and a collapsed lung is immense. You can have pain killers but we won't give you too much. Pain is a natural defense mechanism. If we give you too much, it is possible that you create more damage with a wrong movement in your sleep or so."

„That means he has to suffer?" y/n said shocked. She walked around the bed on her common place and grabbed Sebastian's right hand. Anthony sat on the chair that was next to a little table on the other side of the room.

„No, Miss Y/L/N. But he will still feel it. We don't want him in constant bad pain." Dr. Smith said and raised his hands in front of his body in defense.

„Mr. Stan, you're not allowed to sit straight. While you are here, you're not allowed to walk on your own. Not even to the bathroom. There is a special wheelchair where you can sit back a little to relieve the pressure on your rips. Call the nurses for everything. You're not bothering them." he smiled at Sebastian but he was not smiling back. His face was still shocked. Seemed like he hadn't expected to be hurt that bad.

Y/N squeezed his hand and tried to comfort him, but it didn't work.

„Will it be better when I'm allowed to go home?" he said with a quiet and husky voice. Dr. Smith sighed and y/n knew that Sebastian won't like the answer.

„Maybe a bit. But don't expect to leave the hospital walking. You definitely won't be able to walk alone until the end of the week. And you're still not allowed to sit straight for a longer time. It all depends on how fast you recover. Before we release you, we will let a physical therapist see you and check if your body is strong enough to be released. You were in a good physical condition before the accident. That will help to speed up your recovery. But you need to be patient."

Everybody could hear the warning tremble in the voice of the doctor.

„I will make sure that he won't do anything stupid!" y/n said and smiled at Sebastian who was looking on the blanket - trying to process everything he had heard.

„Good. We'll talk about the rest later. If you have any questions..." he looked at Sebastian and y/n „...just let me know." he said, turned around and left the room.

Anthony was the first one to say something as y/n was watching Seb with a concerned look on her face. Seb was overwhelmed from all the information and bad news.

„Would be good if you had the super soldier healing powers, right?" Anthony chuckled, stood up from his chair and handed the tray with the last coffee and the paper bag with the remaining bagels to y/n.

„You want some breakfast, honey?" y/n asked with a lovable voice and put her hand on Sebastian's shoulder. He shook his head as response - his gaze still on the blanket.

„Hey, man. I know it was a lot, but you're alive. That's all that matters." Anthony said and tried to calm his friend. Seb raised his head to look to Anthony - his face expression full of anger and sadness at the same time.

„Have you heard him? I can't do anything. Nothing. Nada. Niente. I can't even go to the bathroom. There's a fucking tube coming out of my cock because I can't even pee on my own. How the hell can you be so positive?" Seb screamed at Anthony while tears were falling down his cheeks.

He tried to lift his upper body but regretted his decision within a second. He groaned loud and his face was full of pain.

„Shhh, honey. Don't move. Please. Don't hurt yourself." y/n sobbed because she was crying as well. The last hours were also hard for her and she didn't had time for herself to process the happenings.

Anthony looked at both of them with a neutral face expression. He knew that Seb was shocked and frustrated and didn't mean it. Screaming back wouldn't be helping. It would be like throwing alcohol in a burning flame.

Sebastian turned his head to y/n and his mood changed immediately when he saw her crying.

„Please don't cry, prinţesă..." he said but stopped in the middle of the sentence. He remembered their first conversation after he woke up which was blurry in his memories. But now as he used the same words as earlier he remembered it clearly.

Y/N green eyes met his steel-blue ones and she saw sparkles and love in them. He managed to lift his arm and placed his hand on her waist. Then he gave her a warm smile that stopped her tears.

„I am sorry for screaming." his face was now turned to Anthony.

„It's alright, man. I understand." Anthony answered.

„Not it's not okay. It's not your fault. You saved my life because you realized that I was badly injured. I have to thank you but instead I screamed at you. I am sorry. This was a lot to process. I am frustrated and scared. But none of that is your fault, Anthony." he said with pain in his voice.

Anthony nodded and gave Seb a huge smile. Then he added: „I actually just wanted to look if you're finally awake and bring you some coffee and breakfast. I have to go back to the headquarter, we have a meeting with Kevin over there."

„Oh, to see how we continue with the movie?" Seb asked curious and Anthony nodded.

„Say hi to all of them. You can FaceTime me while in the meeting." Seb suggested.

„That is actually a very god idea. I'll do that! See you later, man!" he said and waved at y/n and Seb before he left the room.

Y/N sighed and Sebastian tried to caress his hand over her waist - but the movement hurt him so he simply left his hand on one place.

„I love you, y/n" he whispered.

„I love you, too, Sebastian." she answered smiling.

„I know! You said it first!" he chuckled like a child.

„So you do remember? I wasn't sure. I am happy that you remember. And I like the new nickname" she winked at him.

„Prinţesă?" he asked and she nodded.

„I had many nicknames for my former girlfriends like honey, hun, love and so on. But I've never called my girlfriend prinţesă before - because it needed a special person like you for that." he said and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach.

She leaned down and kissed him passionate. But as she knew he was still struggling with breathing she broke the kiss right afterwards. He was stubborn and she needed to protect him from himself.

„Your girlfriend needs to go home and get some stuff. I rushed here tonight and didn't bring anything. And I need to take a shower and cook something for us for later. Pretty sure the hospital food is aweful. I'll be back later, I promise" y/n said and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

„My girlfriend..." he whispered and smiled like a maniac.

„I need to call my mum anyways and have the meeting with Anthony later. So I'll be okay until you return. But don't stay tooooo long" he added and pouted.

„I won't, honey. I promise. I love you." she said and kissed him.

„I love you, too, prinţesă." he answered after the kiss.

They wanted to scream their love for each other into the world - letting everybody know. But y/n was still scared that her relationship (HELL YES IT WAS A FUCKING LOVE RELATIONSHIP!) with Seb could have negative effects on her job at Marvel.

What both of them didn't knew: Anthony had already explained their situation to the people in charge at Marvel. They were all very understanding (although surprised) and supported y/n in ever possible way so that she could take care of Sebastian as long as she had to.

Before y/n left the room to head home she gave Sebastian his phone from the bedside table, because he wasn't able to reach it without rotate his upper body - something he was not allowed to do. And wouldn't be able to do without blacking out in pain.

~~~

It was already late in the afternoon when she was ready to return to the hospital. She had fallen asleep on her couch after a hot shower and was shocked that she had slept for four hours straight.

After all the stress she's been through the last 24 hours her body needed to rest as well. She grabbed her phone and saw a few unread messages from Sebastian.

Sebastian 11:15 am: Already miss you ♡ 11:55 am: My mum will come over to Atlanta on Friday. She needs to work for the rest of the week but has already booked a flight for Friday afternoon. Let's talk about that later. 2:23 pm: Lunch was aweful. Can you bring me something delicious? 3:52 pm: Where are you? I miss yooouuuuu! 3:53 pm:

Y/N 04:15 pm: Did you really use a picture of yourself to express your emotions?

Sebastian 04:16 pm: Really? That's the only thing you respond to? 😂

Y/N 4:50 pm: I'll be there in 10. 😘

Sebastian 4:50 pm: 😘😘

As she told him she was at the hospital ten minutes later - with three large Tupperware boxes in a bag and a backpack with clothes and other stuff. One of the Tupperware contained the pesto pasta with chicken and the other two a rice-dish she had cooked for them before making her way to the hospital.

She entered Sebastian's room and was greeted by a large smile. He looked better than this morning as his skin was still a bit pale but finally he looked more like a human than a zombie.

„Hey, honey. Brought you dinner" she said while heading around his bed.

His eyes widened in excitement when he saw the bag in y/n hand and managed to lift his right arm in her direction.

Her eyes were shocked by his movement and she exclaimed: „See you're making progress already! This morning you were not really able to lift your arm."

„Well, yeah. But just the right one. I can't even think about moving the left one for an inch." he said sadly.

She gave him a kiss on his head before putting the Tupperware on his bedside table. She wondered how he was able to eat as he can't move his upper body or sit straight and placing the Tupperware on his abdomen sounded like a bad idea, too. Sebastian seemed to have the same thoughts as he said:

„I think you need to help me and feed me..."

She couldn't help herself but hear shame in his voice. But there was no need for shame. It wasn't his fault that he was not able to move at all. It was a fucking accident.

„I'll go and ask the nurses to store the lunch for tomorrow in their fridge and then I re-heat your pasta in the microwave." she smiled at him.

Sebastian nodded and tried to maintain a happy or at least straight face, but she could see in his eyes that he suddenly realized how the next weeks would be and that he was not feeling comfortable. Not because he didn't want y/n to be around him 24/7, but because he didn't want to be a burden for anyone.

Y/N came back with the pasta and Sebastian could see the steam coming out of the container. He licked is upper lip in excitement and turned its head to y/n when she arrived next to his bed. His stomach made a loud growl and y/n laughed. Sebastian started laughing, too, but the pain kicked in very fast and very strong, so he stopped laughing.

He saw the concerned look in y/n's face and whispered a „I'm fine. Just hungry" in her direction.

She fed him very gently and Seb realized that at least eating didn't hurt. Yeah, at least ONE THING.

After dinner y/n managed to push the couch from the end of the room right next to Seb's bed. He was shocked how strong she was and she told him a few stories about her weightlifting workouts.

„So we need to workout with Don together one day!" Seb chuckled.

„I would love, too!" y/n answered with excitement in her voice. She saw Don's Instagram page and couldn't wait to train in his gym.

Seb was yawning while they were watching television together. As y/n had a very long nap in the afternoon she wasn't tired yet, but stood up from the couch and turned to Seb. She cupped his face with both of her hands and gave him a kiss full of love.

„Good Night, honey" she whispered after the kiss and smiled at him.

„Good night, prinţesă. I love you", he answered with the same wide smile and sparkles in his eyes. Thank god no firework in his stomach, because that would have hurt like hell.

„I love you, too. Let me know if you need anything tonight. If you're in pain or something. Don't hesitate to wake me. I'm on duty, Sergeant Barnes." she saluted him what made him laugh for a second before the pain kicked his ass.

~~~

December 6th 2022 - Atlanta The night was without any events although Sebastian woke up to hear y/n whine in her sleep. It seemed like she had a nightmare and he was unable to help her.

All he wanted to do was hug her tight and kiss her temples and forehead to comfort her.

But he was not able to. And wouldn't be in the next weeks. What frustrated him more than he confessed to y/n and the doctor.

The nurse came with breakfast at 7 am - one tray for Sebastian and one for y/n. She stretched her body on the couch and he whined:

„Showing me all the things I can't do? That's not fair!"

She needed a moment to realize what he meant but then she chuckled: „You miss to stretch your body?

Sebastian nodded in response and said: „I miss literally doing anything."

„But you can still do that..." she said and gave him a deep kiss. He managed to lift his right arm to grab her waist and clench into her shirt as he deepened the kiss. Y/n broke the kiss to give him a few breaths.

„Can't wait to have sex with you again" he whispered and his eyes were dark of lust.

„Don't want to be the party pooper, but that will take a while." she said with a sad face.

To lighten the mood she started feeding him breakfast but he insistent to take it from her. So she put the tray with food on his thighs and he ate on his own. Well, half of the food landed on his blanket, but none of them cared. Sebastian was proud to do something on his own. Y/N would take care of the mess later.

After the breakfast the nurse came to change the plasters and wash him. She wanted to show y/n how to do it so that she could practice the next days when the nurse was still around.

Anthony had brought Sebastian some clothes out of his apartment yesterday - during the time y/n was at home- so Seb asked if he could change into some of his own clothes. The nurse agreed but told him that changing into a sweatpants would be painfull as hell. Stubborn as Sebastian was, he wanted to try.

The nurse changed the plasters and it wasn't hard to do at all. While the nurse showed y/n how to do it, Dr. Smith entered the room and looked for Sebastian's drainage. Unfortunately it had to be still inside of his body today, but he would pull it the day after - he promised.

As Sebastian's oxygen saturation had been very good over the last 24h the doc was able to release him from the nasal applicator. „One step after another." y/n thought.

Then it was time to wash him and the nurse used a wash cloth to gently scrub Sebastian's upper body. Although the nurse was really really gentle tears of pain were streaming down Sebastian's cheeks and he whined and whimpered - not able to move or do anything against the pain. His hands clenched the sheets on the bed while he tried to lay without movements.

It broke y/n heart to see him like that and she wanted to take all his pain away. But that wasn't possible.

As even the gentle touches of the wash cloths had hurt him so much Sebastian admitted that it was to early to change into his clothes. He still wasn't able to move his left arm any higher than a few inches and to change into a T-Shirt he would need more movement. So it was impossible today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe on Friday. He was forced to wait for his body to recover and he couldn't do anything to speed it up.

Within the day they had lunch and Anthony and Joe Russo came to visit Sebastian. They talked a lot about the movie and how they would continue filming. Dr. Smith was there as well and explained that he didn't know yet how long it would take for Seb to be able to continue work. For the easier scenes where he didn't have to do much it would take at least four weeks minimum. Running and fighting wasn't possible within the next 3 months.

Everybody in the room was frustrated and Joe decided to talk to Kevin again. The idea was to extend Bucky's injury in the movie so that Sebastian would have more calm scenes. Thankfully they already shot the final battle right in the beginning.

The team was in Atlanta until end of February and then moved on to Cleveland. Bucky would be deleted from all scenes in Cleveland and hopefully Sebastian would be able to travel to Bucharest end of March to shot the abroad mission where Bucky got hurt.

That would mean less screen time for Bucky but not much delays in shooting. They would arrange to shot the scenes with the other actors in the next weeks until Seb was able to do smaller scenes.

Y/N was shocked how many changes had to be done because of an accident like that. And that the whole script would be changed. She always thought a movie was scripted and then just shot like that. She heard about a few changes here and there but never worked on a movie with huge story changes like this one.

In the end of the day y/n took a hot shower in the hospital bathroom and they watched a movie together. She missed cuddling with Sebastian but was sure that they will be able to cuddle soon.

~~~

December 7th 2022 - Atlanta Sebastian looked at Dr. Smith with excitement in his face. The doc was about to pull the drainage out of his body and release him from the bloody tube. The new freedom came with a kick in the ass, because Sebastian didn't knew that pulling a drainage is one of the most painful things in the world. For one second. But for that second you think you die.

He was dizzy because of the shock and the pain and needed to close his eyes. Y/N strolled one of her hands through his hair to comfort him while holding his right hand with the other.

"Holy Shit, that was painful", he exclaimed a minute later.

The nurse asked him if he wants to change into his clothes and he said that he wanted to try. As the drainage was out of his body he was able to move his left arm more than before - although not really much. The nurse explained Sebastian that he shouldn't try to help move the arms or fight against any movement the nurse was doing. That was very important to prevent any damage or big pain.

After two minutes of fight Sebastian finally worn his own shirt and smiled happy. The pain that was caused by the movements from his left arm forgotten. But the harder part was yet to come as he needed to lift his hip in the air while putting on the sweatpants. The nurse said a boxer was not needed as Seb still had a tube coming out of his manhood.

You really lose all your privacy when you're in the hospital.

The nurse carefully started putting on the sweatpants and as the waistband was in the middle of his thighs it was time to lift his hips so he could fully slip into the pants. The first try leaded to a whining Sebastian who was not able to lift his hip at all. The nurse left the room and came with a supporting tool which looked like a belt that she put under his hips and lifted them with her own power. Y/N helped her pulling the sweatpants over the rest of Sebastian's thighs.

It was done. It was painful and it was frustrating like hell, but it was done.

Seb felt so much better immediate and smiled at his girlfriend while proudly saying: "See, I look, feel and smell like a human again!"

Y/N chuckled although her heart was full of pain and her mind was shocked. How the hell should she do this all on her own for the next weeks. She didn't want to hurt him. Was she able to do all that on her own? Without any experience?

She needed to clear her mind, so she excused herself and explained that she wanted to get a coffee for the two of them. Sebastian realized that it was an excuse, but he didn't say anything. He was grateful, that y/n was there for him during this difficult time.

"It was overwhelming this morning, right?" he said as she gave him his cup of coffee. The nurse had cleaned the crumbles of breakfast from his blanket as well so Sebastian tried to avoid spilling coffee on the fresh blanket. His movements with his right arm were a lot smoother than yesterday and didn't cause him pain anymore. He was also able to lift his left arm to place it on his thigh and put it back, but as the IV in his arm bend also hurt when he bent his arm, he tried not to use his left arm as much as possible.

They sipped their coffee in silence while watching TV.

Sebastian's phone rang and after he read the message he broke the silence:

„We haven't talked about my mum coming around on Friday."

„Oh, Right!"

„Is it okay for you that she comes around?" he asked with a concerned voice.

„Of course, honey. It's your mother. I would see my son as well after such an accident. She must be in shock as well. Have you spoken to her again?" y/n answered.

„She is texting me a lot. But I haven't called her since yesterday."

„Sebastian Stan, you call your mum now. She musst worry a lot and you have to comfort her."

Sebastian sighed before he said: „But I'll put it on speaker. She has to know about you anyways."

So they had a very nice conversation with Sebastian's mother. Y/N could hear in her voice that she was happy that Sebastian called and she was also happy as he told her the improvements he already made. Georgeta was also very interested when Sebastian told her about y/n and they switched into Romanian for a few minutes - leaving y/n clueless if that was a good sign or not.

„I can't wait to meet you on Friday, y/n!" Georgeta said in English again.

„Can't wait to meet you too Mrs. Stan." she said smiling.

„Just Call me Georgeta, please. I'm not Mrs. Stan anymore but I'll explain that to you on the weekend."

„Okay, Georgeta"

„Mum, I'm going to hang up now. We're about to watch a movie. See you on Friday. Don't worry. Y/N will take care of me until then." Sebastian said and added a few words in Romanian.

Georgeta answered in Romanian and they hang up afterwards.

~~~

December 8th 2022 - Atlanta It was Thursday and y/n managed to change Sebastian's  plasters on her own for the first time. It wasn't hard, so she was happy that she could handle that.

The nurse also watched them carefully when y/n and Sebastian managed to change his tshirt together. After they were done Seb raised his hand in the air and y/n gave him a high five - making all of them laugh.

Sebastian was surprised that his pain was better this morning. His right arm was freely movable and he could even lift his left arm a lot better than yesterday. As there was no infection at the wounds and he ate and drank normally the IV was removed and the machine with the syringes was gone. The heart rate monitor and the monitor for the oxygen saturation were also gone so that he was free from most of the tubes - except one.

He got his painkillers via pills from this morning onwards.

Y/N was happy because these were big steps in the right direction.

The doctor confirmed that Sebastian would be released on Friday - if the physical therapist gave his okay on Friday morning.

„Can't wait to be home." he said to the doctor smiling.

„You know that you're coming to my apartment, right?" y/n chuckled.

„Yeah. It's my second home from now on!" he chuckled as well.

The accident made their relationship rush like a high speed aircraft. Y/N was scared that it was too fast. That they would realize that they were not meant to be and than would be trapped in the same apartment.

She tried to think about something else. She loved him. It felt like they knew each other for years. But the upcoming challenge would show them if their relationship would last. It was exciting and scary at the same time.

Anthony came around this afternoon and was surprised by Seb's improvement. They talked and laughed and - if they were not in a hospital room - it felt like a normal afternoon with friends.

Anthony told y/n a lot of funny stories about the last 8 years working with Sebastian and they just had so much fun and forgot about all the worries for a short period of time.

At Thursday evening they enjoyed a pizza that they had ordered and Sebastian took y/n's hand and kissed it.

„We'll be Home tomorrow!" he exclaimed in a happy scream.

„Oh yeah. Can't wait to sleep in a bed again." y/n whined and stretched her back.

„Would let you sleep with me in the bed but I am afraid I won't be able to move so that you have enough space." he sighed.

„It's okay, honey. One more night. Tomorrow we're together in the same bed again." she smiled at him and caressed over his thigh.

„Finally!" he said while chewing on another piece of pizza.

One more night. Then they were able to leave the hospital behind. Leave all the horrific memories and shocking moments behind. Then they could finally focus on Sebastian's recovery.

[bananaboatwh0re]

08/20/24

I felt like I really procrastinated all day and didn't get the things done I wanted done.

I kept telling myself to get up and get things done but I stayed on my phone instead.

I didn't get to meditate to equilibrium like I wanted.

I was blessedly relieved of cramps for most of the day

didn't do dishes or exercise or work on finding a job or pretty much anything I told myself I was gonna do today.

When K came home I knew he would be in a bad mood because of how late it was. But it was still in a better mood than I expected.

He pretty much just slept, even now he's not playing games, he's just napping. I tried to cuddle him but didn't feel like wasting more time and was uncomfortable and felt like he didn't really want snuggles.

I tried to lie down and he just stared blankly for a bit before closing his eyes, a tell I've noticed he does when he's annoyed, kinda like rolling his eyes without actually rolling them. I asked if he wanted dinner, he just shrugged. it's very clear he's depressed, but I can't fix that for him.

I keep thinking about moving, the things I'm going to buy, the places I'll go, the friends I'll make. And how absolutely terrifying it'll be to be 100% alone. I don't know how to act in a city. I'm worried people won't baby me, take care not to hurt my feelings with sharp words and actions.

I've never been catcalled, or in a place with gangs. I've never been told or shown how to keep myself safe, not really. even covering your drinks is something I never think about.

I'm skeptical about being able to afford a house to myself.

I keep forgetting that in order to even begin to move on I have to get a job, and actually save my money.

I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to disappoint them. and I don't want them to have this expectation of me leaving and deciding not to leave in the end.

I need to plan better. know exactly what my budget would be. and stick to it. find a job revolving around that.

earlier in the day I had a thought, that I must be cursed. every time I unpack, I feel the need to move again. every single time I go somewhere new. I'd hope it wouldn't be the same once I left.

I also want to divorce Jake before I leave.

I'm nervous, scared, and excited, and I feel like I'm still in a premature "honeymoon" phase where I'm just daydreaming instead of doing. or even considering how this will realistically affect us both. He'd be crushed. and I know I will be. I just don't want it to be a fight. I don't think it'd be a good idea to tell him in the end. that'll break him for sure. I don't want to hurt him more than necessary. and I want to be pleasantly surprised that he takes it easy on me once I start a job. He is very kind when he wants to be.

I don't know if I still want to leave. I don't know if it'll make me happy. I don't know if leaving will be a mistake or not. I'd hope not.

I'm hesitant to set a time line. I just want to get as much saved up as I can and all my financial responsibilities taken care of.

right now that'd be paying off my credit cards. 300

paying into my taxes 1k

divorcing jake 330

registering wyrm as an esa- 200

I'd love to change my name as well but. I don't want to take on more than I can.

I really want to stop helping out at mypv.

I am very proud of that group of people but after B's insistence of not taking no as an answer for people helping, it gave me the icky. on top just how fucking burnt out I am.

I'm trying to get a second wind going but, I just feel drained and resentful.

[redandblackpoetry]

i'm rereading 'Deep into That Darkness Peering' rn bc it was so good and i need an excuse to procrastinate on some stuff and all i can think of is how the dynamics between everyone would change if simon was still there too. like in the first chapters there is mentions of the human's consciousness being allowed to watch as their body is taken and idk the specifics but my brain is like !!!!!!!

how would it be do u think if that could've happened? would it have made ghost feel better that someone truly knows what he is from the start or make him feel even worse, like he's actually stealing simon's life or the others tolerate him for simon and he's just the baggage?

i'm just. it's brainrot hours. i just want them to be happy and simon is not and that last chapters with price's reaction broke my heart. like simon legit died and no one was mourning for him, no one even knew or noticed (well tbf they couldn't but still, it's so sad) except for ghost. i am way too sleep deprived to be thinking abt this. am i making any sense?

First of all, the fact that you like it enough to reread it is kinda making my brain bluescreen not gonna lie. And is it cliche to say everything and nothing would change?

I have a very Very evil thought which I won't expand on too much because its been developing for a while and theres a good chance its gonna form a side oneshot/ alternative ending, but I will answer best I can!

I think Ghost would have felt guilty as fuck and I think it would take Simon some time to get past the walls he'd put up around himself, saying to himself exactly like you said - he's not Simon, hes an imposter, he's an unwanted tag along. I think he'd almost try to act as a living telephone, if Simon wasnt able to fully emerge and was fully trapped, he'd be constantly like "Simon said this, or Simon thinks you should do that" and I think because he feels guilty and wants to allow Simon all the freedom he can at the expense of his own, he'd have to confess what he was to the boys earlier. Which might be kinda disastrous since in the main fic part of why Ghost was accepted was they got time to know him.

It would be a shitshow and Simon would definitely be the one trying to pull it all together because he would have such a close connection with Ghost and understands him so well while the others wouldnt and Ghost would be so concerned about not replacing Simon

Does that make sense? Long train of thought, might have skipped a few stations

It broke my heart a bit too killing Simon so you're definitely not alone! And the whole no one mourning except Ghost definitely affected a lot of Ghost psyche. I actually talked to a friend of mine about this when I was planning it out and they said it might be unrealistic that no one would notice that Simon was dead and Ghost was different but I thought for a long time and I couldnt think of anyone that Simon would be that close to?? Besides Price and he was just so relieved to get him back that he didn't want to question if it was really Simon

You're definitely making sense and your brainrot is aligning perfectly with my own I feel like!

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

i spent years convincing myself that I was the victim, that none of this was my fault, that I was absolved of anything I had done because I was a prisoner of my circumstances and therefore could not be held accountable. it was all so much easier to digest this way. some coping mechanism I was blind to, and now. now i removed the filter, stripped myself bare, forced myself to realize why i was so goddamn afraid of my own shadow, and looking into a mirror, realizing that you are the villain, that you made mistakes, that you are the person you thought you were a victim of, it feels cold. empty. it's not easy to stomach at all. it's a process, i guess, and some part of me feels relieved, like a weight has been lifted, this great secret unearthed. it feels good not to lie. but now, i don't know where to go. because for all my life, i held onto this intrinsic sort of belief in myself, and it kept me alive when nothing else would. i was proud of who i was in spite of my circumstances. i never became what everyone else seemed to become in the face of their traumas. I was brave, and kind, and good. and now, it's like waking up from a nightmare, some fever dream I couldn't comprehend, and i am swollen with regret, and that intrinsic belief is a distant memory i'm not even sure is real anymore. i hate myself. that's all i am left with. hatred, and regret, and so much grief. grief for who i was, for who i'll never be again, for who i hurt and who i lost, and i don't know what to do with it all. how do you get past that? how do you forgive that? how do you heal? how do you become anything else? because that's the funny thing about this part. i don't feel like i deserve to. i don't feel like i deserve happiness as a person who made the choices that i made. I don't feel like i'm capable of being someone better. i don't feel like the past is something you can shed like a second skin, and i don't know that i want anyone to know me as I am, and I feel like I'm treading on the cusp of panic at all times, and one wrong step will send me spiraling into something I won't ever escape. and how do you motivate yourself to do better, to be better, when you don't actually think that you can? When you feel so unlovable, so unforgiveable, so unredeemable? i'm trying. because i'm lonely, and afraid, and a small part of me hopes I can one day pretend like this piece of me didn't ever exist. because people can change, and even villains have a redemption arc, right? sometimes.

[anaisgironcel]

Dear Ex,

Hi, it's been a while. I hope you are well and that things are improving on your side. I'm not here to interfere in your life, that's not my goal. I'm here to apologize for what I said to you, again, but for a much more real and hurtful reason for both of us. I didn't want to apologize but I never wanted to lie to you either except that I felt I had no choice. I realize that you would never lie about such a violent and traumatic past, just as I realize that it took you many years to confide in someone, but I had some doubts, not that I didn't believe you, but I couldn't get my head around the fact that you had experienced all of these terrible things. No one deserves that. But you say you're cured of it so I'm kind of relieved, after all, even though I thought I knew everything about you, you've been more of a stranger to me than anyone else. I didn't know so much about you, so I don't have to judge your past. I lied to get you to let me go even though you held me back so sadly to stay but I couldn't pretend anymore, not pretend to believe you but to believe myself that I had become someone I wasn't when I was with you. You regret loving me, not me. I learned to love by your side and I will never thank you for it, you made me feel more alive than ever at the very moment I thought I wasn't. It was chaotic but at the same time magical. I doubted, yes, and you blamed me, I know that. We don't have the same way of living and seeing things, because while you complained about me doubting you, I said I understood you when you doubted me. Everyone has the right to doubt, no matter what the reason, things end up making us paranoid and the fears grow, I wanted to help you overcome them by taking the time you needed but you were not ready to do that for me, that's what makes the difference. I destroyed you with lies and I'm sorry I hurt you so much but the truth itself would have hurt you. You trusted me with your fears, your wounds, your heart and your body for love, and you decide to regret it, it's your choice, again. You blame yourself for giving me all this by writing it down and I come back to tell myself that you want me to feel guilty and don't worry, I did. I cried a lot, not because of you, but because of this breakup that had destroyed me too, because I loved you to the depths of my soul. You have been sincere from the beginning to the end with me but I have not been sincere for a second by your side becoming someone else to satisfy you. You often insulted me out of anger and God knows how easy it is to hurt me, that's what made me change with you. You are who you are but it's my turn to apologize for not knowing who you really are even after seven years. I thought I knew you and I was wrong. You don't deserve this life with me just like I don't want this life with you anymore. So, the deep feelings I had for you, I put them in a corner of my memory which will not forget but will not suffer either when it will remember what I lived and felt with you. You are both a good and a bad memory but you are my past and you are also the cause of my present which today is filled with things and people who only want me to be good. I am happy but also in love. And yes, I met someone after choosing to live a healthier life and she, yes, she, makes me totally happy. So I'm keeping the promise I made to you, Marine, I won't come back to you because I've figured out how to use my heart without being someone I'm not.

[starlightxsvt]

3 dates | epilogue

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 3.5k (total 15.6k)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

a/n : here's the epilogue to 3 dates since tumb1r won't let me post the whole fic in one post :) Enjoy!

Part 1

As time progresses and days turn into weeks and then into months you are not left with the luxury to cry over Seungcheol. Instead you are bombarded with assignments and projects from your uni and you drown yourself completely in work to forget the scathing pain. Katelyn figured out something is wrong with you and even though talking about that man pains you too much, you told her that you are done with him and you won't be seeing him again in this lifetime. Katelyn did not ask any questions after that as you said you needed time to heal, time to forget even though you have serious doubts he'd ever leave your mind.

You have also applied for an internship to keep you even busier so that when you return home you are too tired to let the thoughts of him plague your mind as you drift off to sleep. And just like that, you have developed a routine, work, eat and sleep, trying your best to allow yourself to not think about him.

Despite that sometimes, some very few times, you think of him, wonder how he's doing, wonder if he's safe. You ponder if he thinks of you, if he regrets his decision but you don't have any answer. You simply hope he does.

-

After another day full of assignments and projects you almost doze off to sleep as soon as you hit your bed until you are intruded by the loud ringing of your phone. Annoyed, you reach for it, wondering who would be calling so late.

The caller ID has your heart doing a backflip, the name you were unable to delete from your heart and your phone flashing on the screen as you instantly sit up in your bed. It's Seungcheol.

Why is he calling so late?

You wait a few seconds, scared to pick up, scared that he might have called accidentally. But before you lose your chance, you inhale deeply and pick the call up. "Hello?" You speak, your voice tentative.The silence from the other end makes your heart fall and your suspicion come true. He called you accidentally and now he will realize it and hang up. You're about to speak again when his voice floats through.

"Hi."

The emotions you feel are overwhelming, undescribable. You're relieved, you're sad, you're excited, you want to cry and scream at the same time. That one word from him has you feeling tingles all over and makes you feel like you just did a hundred laps. Anyhow you manage to speak. "Hey." Your voice almost cracks and tears almost slip past your cheeks. You don't know why you are so emotional. "I just...I just wanted to hear your voice." He sounds so tired...so dejected and your heart breaks. Never in your life did you imagine him to call and say those words to you but instead of feeling happy, a current of melancholy hits you.

Why does he sound so broken?

"Seungcheol? Is...is everything alright?" Your voice is feather like, soft and careful. You hear him sigh loudly and you get your answer. Instead of replying to you, he asks, "How have you been?"

"I'm...fine," you lie. You have been nowhere near fine. He hums noncommittally and you're about to ask him the same question before you realize how dumb it would be. If his voice is any indication he is anything but fine. "____?" He calls your name softly. "Y-yes?" You whisper.

He stays silent, for so long that you think he hung up. "I- I just...can I see you?" He seems to have a hard time gathering his words.

What? You lurch out of bed pushing your covers aside in excitement, trying to prevent a gasp out of your lips. Did you even hear correctly? He wants to see you?

"Wha... what do you mean?" You mumble. You hear him sigh loudly, "I...I am in front of your apartment. Just come down for a minute." You don't need to hear any more words as you are dashing towards your front door in your pajamas, not disconnecting the call. You take the elevator and come out of the building as fast as possible, bumping into things in your way but not giving a care. You feet stops as you stand in front of the entrance to your building, eyes searching wildly for Seungcheol. "Stay there," his voice comes through the phone, just as you spot him standing on the opposite to your building, decently far but not far enough that you can't see.

A horrified gasp leaves your mouth as your eyes finally land on him.

He stands there, bruised, his beautiful face marred with scratches and wounds, his clothes having patches of dirt and if you are seeing correctly his left arm is bleeding as he holds the phone next to his ear with the other.

"Seungcheol-" you're about to rush towards him. "Don't move." He cuts you off, looking you in the eye. Even from afar you don't miss the dark, commanding gaze of him. "Just...just stay there. Just...let me look at you."

No- why is he doing this?

Tears slip down your cheeks, "Seungcheol-" You are interrupted once more, "Please. I- I missed you and...I needed to see you. Just let me hear your voice and look at you like this." His voice almost cracks and you can see the emotion in his eyes.

Your heart breaks.

Why does he keep doing this? Why does he keep pushing you away? Why does he torment himself like this?

You stand there, rooted to the ground, quiet sobs leaving your mouth. He comes here all bruised and wounded and expects you to stay away? How can you when you can clearly see him in pain?

You grip the phone tighter, watching him as he stands there, not moving an inch. His eyes never leaves you as he drinks you in, like this is the last time he's gonna look at you. You can't stand it anymore. Hanging up the phone you run towards him, as fast as your nimble legs can carry you. You can't stay away, you just can't. Not when he looks so hurt and lost and lonely.

Your body smashes against his as you wrap your arms tightly around his torso, your head buried in his chest. He stumbles back from the force and for a while he stays unmoved and you hold your breath, half expecting him to shove you away. But he doesn't. Instead he pulls you firmly against him resting your head on his chest while burying his face in your hair.

The tears come naturally. Loud, ungraceful sobs emerge from you as you cling to him like your life depends on it, your grip on him unyielding. Seungcheol softly pets your hair as your cries fill the silence of the cold night. You pull back just a little to look at his face and you want to once more. There's a cut above his brow and some bruises on his cheek and nose and another cut on his lower lip. But you can't bring yourself to care as you lean above to press your lips against his. You don't dare hold back, kissing him like the world is about to end. Seungcheol reciprocates, tilting your head for better access as his tongue prods into your mouth and you taste the metallic flavour of blood. The kiss is messy, all teeth and tongue, an outpour of the bottled up feelings of the last couple months.

You both take a lungful of air when you pull back and you're about to dive in for more when you realize his arm is injured. "Wha- how did this happen?" You hiccup, wiping away your tears as you gently reach for his bleeding arm. His clothes are torn at the part of the wound and from what you can see, it looks like a knife injury, a thin, slanted cut on his upper arm as if someone slashed him. "It's nothing," he says trying to push your hand away.

"It's not nothing, Seungcheol!" You're yelling before you know it. It's the exasperation, the accumulated frustration over the days that makes you snap.

Seungcheol seems to be shocked at your outburst as he blinks at you, an astonished look on his face. He's kind enough to reply honestly this time. "Got into a fight. I was outnumbered. It's okay, it's nothing serious, I've had worse," his voice is small, almost timid which is definitely unlike him.

Of course he has had worse.

You let out a tired breath. "Come on, you're bleeding. Let me help you." You wrap a hand around his uninjured arm, tugging him towards your apartment.

"No, you don't have to-" he protests but you pin him down with a look. "Please," you speak, your voice low. "I can't let you go like this. Just let me clean your wound." Seungcheol presses his lips into a thin line as if trying to prevent himself from speaking further. When no more words leave his mouth, you drag him into your building in silence.

Entering your unit you help Seungcheol sit down in your small living space as you quickly pad towards the bathroom for the first aid kit. When you return you find him looking around your place with a curious glow in his eyes similar to a child's. As your eyes meet, he sits up straighter and tries to remove his jacket. You aid him in the process, discarding the material on the floor as you take a seat next to him, the first aid kit in your lap.

Thankfully he's wearing a tank top as it gives you easy access to his biceps. You would have stopped to admire and ogle them if he wasn't hurt, which he is and you mentally smack yourself for having such thoughts right now. Seungcheol's eyes does not leave your face as he silently gazes at you and if you didn't know any better you would say he looked at you fondly.

Swallowing, you sanitize your hands before proceeding to clean his wound. Seungcheol tenses beside you, low, pained grunts leaving his lips a few times as you disinfect the cut. But he says nothing, letting you do the work and you don't speak either focused on the task at hand. You then do the same for his face and finish your work by wrapping a bandage around his bicep and sitting back, exhaling a satisfied sigh. Unintentionally your eyes connect to his and you find his scorching gaze on you, those mesmerising eyes almost piercing through your soul. Feeling self aware, you abruptly stand up, coughing to clear your throat. "You should take a shower. I have some extra clothes for my parents when they come over. My dad's clothes should fit you."

"No, it's alright. I should leave." He murmurs. "You're already here. Might as well take a shower. There's no rush," you say sternly, trying to make him agree.

Truth is you want him to stay, at least the night.

Seungcheol sits quietly for a while as if contemplating before surrendering with a sigh. "Okay." "Good. The bathroom's this way," you point towards the attached bath in your room and Seungcheol mutely follows. You offer him a towel and you dad's pajamas, hoping they'd do the job for tonight as he closes the door behind him.

As silence fill the apartment, you quietly return to your bed and sit, anxiously chewing on your lower lip. The digital clock beside your bed reads 2:50 am but your sleep is long gone.

Choi Seungcheol is here. In your house.

Will he spend the night? Or will he be his stubborn self and leave as soon as he is out? And if he does stay, will you see him in morning? Or will he be gone before the sun is up? The thoughts running rampant in your mind gives you a headache as you groan, rubbing your temples. You are sure Seungcheol feels something for you, he has to. Otherwise why would he come to you in the middle of the night? If only he told you his feelings, spilled his heart out to you rather than hiding and pushing you away. He just needs to bare himself to you, tell you what is in his heart. Why can't he do that? Why can't he just give the two of you a chance?

Your thoughts are interrupted as Seungcheol steps out the bathroom, half naked, the pajama pants hanging low on his hips as his muscled body is displayed in all its glory, making your throat dry. He looks at you before quickly looking away as an air awkwardness and tension fills the room. You hold your breath, watching him intently, not moving a single muscle as he tentatively takes a seat at the corner of your bed while wiping his wet hair with the towel hanging around his neck.

You want to tell him to stay the night, the words right on the tip of your tongue but you're terrified that it will just make him walk out here immediately. So instead you watch him with bated breath, waiting for his next move, waiting for him to say something, anything that will put an end to this deafening silence.

Seungcheol takes mercy on you.

"Thank you," he says, voice barely audible. You don't know what he's thanking you for you reply anyway. "Welcome. Though I don't know what you are thanking me for." Seungcheol remains silent for a few beats, his eyes focused on the floor before replying. "For everything. I have a lot to thank you for."

Okay.

You nod mutely, unable to figure out a reply. Another wave of silence settles in the atmosphere like a blanket. You take this time to appreciate his beautiful profile, engraving his features in your mind. The moonlight coming from your window falls on his face partially, illuminating his sculpted lineaments. You get to admire his beauty once more as he sits there but the look on his face tugs at your heartstrings. He looks troubled and in pain, the natural glow of his face somewhat dim. You wonder how the past couple of months have treated him. You wonder how life has been treating him, if he had someone to go to, someone to share his worries with all this time.

"Do you still like me?" His words make your eyes widen as it the last thing you expected to come from him. "You wouldn't be here if I didn't," your words come out harsher than you intended making you regret instantly. Perhaps the pain you have suffered for a while is coming out finally. However, seeing his silence, you reply once more, voice much softer this time, "Of course I still like you, Seungcheol. I have...I have never liked anyone or anything as much as you."

It's an understatement. What you feel for him is love but you would rather keep that to yourself.

"Why?" Seungcheol's voice comes out as a croak as his eyes connect to yours. For the first time, you see so much emotion in them and maybe, maybe even some unshed tears, though you can't be sure because the light is not sufficient right now. Your throat closes up for some reason as your eyes mirror the emotions in his and you desperately try to think, try to give him a reply that he deserves.

"You are very easy to like," you say lamely. Your reply is insufficient but that's all you can manage without starting to bawl like a child. A humourless laugh comes out of Seungcheol and echoes through the otherwise quiet room. "I doubt that," he says, his voice deep. "It's true Seungcheol," you repeat, voice firm.

A mirthless grin settles on his face and you know he isn't buying your words. Swallowing, you carefully, too carefully, scoot towards him and sit down, maintaining a little space between the the two of you. "I don't understand why you hold such negative thoughts about yourself but believe me Seungcheol, it's hard not to fall in love with you."

Your slip-up causes your eyes to widen, face drowning in embarrassment as you realize you just said the L word. Seungcheol, however, does not react to it but turns his head to study your face and the pain and sentiment in his eyes, his passionate gaze on you makes you forget human language. You've never seen nor imagined Seungcheol to be so full of ardor and pain and now that you have, you don't know what to do. You just want to cling to him and cry like a child.

"Can't you see how fucked up I am? What and awful person I am, ____? Someone like me deserves noth-" Unable to hold yourself back you interrupt him by cupping both of his cheeks and pressing your lips to his. You kiss him softly, carefully, trying to gauge his feelings while trying not to push him too hard. Seungcheol stays immobilised, letting you kiss him like that. When you pull back, his eyes are closed and he rests his forehead against yours. "You are just fine, Seungcheol. I like you just the way you are. Don't...beat yourself up like this, hmm?" Your voice is just above a whisper as you tilt his head to meet his eyes. Seungcheol stares quietly at you for a while before suddenly pushing you back and caging you underneath his large body. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as Seungcheol wastes no time wrapping himself around you while attaching his lips to yours.

This time the kiss is not soft, it is full of passion and vigour and longing as Seungcheol takes the reign. Your lips mold perfectly against each other and Seungcheol does not hold back, kissing you like a starved man; all teeth and tongue. He pulls back for a while, supporting himself on his elbows as you looks at you while you try to catch your breath underneath him. His hand comes to stroke your hair gently, like a lover and your eyes burn at his tenderness.

"Seungcheol-"

"Is there still a place for me in your heart?" He asks, a hopeful note in his voice. His words leave you breathless as you gape at him in suprise, you mouth open slightly. Seungcheol looks at you look longingly as he waits for your answer, which comes easily, without a second thought.

"Of course, Seungcheol. I...I love you."

This time it is his turn to be surprised as his pupils dilate and a soft gasp of surprise escapes from him. Swallowing, you hold his gaze, waiting for his next words but they never come. Instead, the man attacks your lips with renewed fervour while slotting a muscular thigh between your legs. As his toned thigh brushes against your core a wanton moan leaves your mouth and you wrap your legs around his waist. You can feel Seungcheol smirk against your skin while he kisses a path down from jaw towards your neck, taking his sweet time to plant some love bites along the way while you gasp and writhe underneath him. Soon he reaches the valley of your breasts and with skilled fingers he does a quick work of the buttons of your night shirt. His heated gaze remains on your now bare breasts and you can feel your nipples harden in the chill air of the room before he leans down to plant soft kisses all over them. While he does so you continue to grind your core against his leg, desperate for some friction which he is denying you. His assault on your neck and breasts don't stop as he remains focused in marking you, blooming kisses of red and purple on your skin.

"I missed you," His voice comes out as throaty whisper while he keeps his lips attached to your heated skin. "Me too," you choke between moans as his ministrations on your body leaves you aching all over for him.

He pulls back to meet your gaze, "I want you. I... always have and I've been hiding it. But I can't anymore."

"Take me then, Seungcheol," It isn't the most romantic thing to say but that is all your lust clouded brain can manage as you keep grinding yourself against him. You feel his hard on poke your belly and unlike your lover, you really can't wait anymore. You need him now.

Seungcheol keeps looking at you, too busy studying your features rather than doing something about the wetness between your legs and you're about to tell him to do something when he speaks, "I love you, ____. I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused you. Let me make it up to you."

Great. Now you're horny and emotional.

His confession brings tears to your eyes but your neediness is growing so you pull his face down closer to yours and whisper, "You can start doing that by making me cum. And then you can stay. With me. Forever. How about that?" A mischievous grin kisses his face, "I'd love that sweetheart."

You grin in happiness not wasting anymore time as you reconnect your lips with his.

a/n 2: Whew~ a whopping 15k+! I can't believe I wrote something this huge. But it was well worth it! I just hate this damn app like I don't understand?? I've seen ppl post fics with 40k+ words yet tumb1r says I've reached 250 blocks like what?? Anyhow, I really really hope you enjoyed reading this baby cuz I've been working on it for soooo long! If you did please reblog and share as always your feedbacks are highly appreciated so please leave them in the comments or my ask box!

[peanutpinet]

Trouble In Paradise (Yuzuru Hanyu x Reader)

Request: "I was thinking of figure skater!reader x Yuzuru Hanyu, where they are dating and doing Fantasy on Ice. One night, where reader is especially exhausted she gets into an argument with him. During the following show, the audience and fellow skaters notice that something is wrong especially after she gave up her place as the first jumper at the end to Evgenia when Alina wanted to do it and she tried to stay as far away from Yuzuru the whole show when he tried to make amend with her. Later that night, they reconcile. The next day, it was in every news that reader prefers Evgenia over Alina and was in conflict with Yuzuru. So reader has to make an official "apology" to explain that she was exhausted" - @thehappygrungelife

A/N: this is actually my first request from Tumblr and I'm very grateful to the person who asked for a request and I really hope I do it a justice

Warning: angst + fluff (happy ending), some cursing and heated argument

It was another day of practice for FaOI (Fantasy on Ice) and for some reason, you were not in your best shape. You would constantly be off beat compared to others and even when it was your turn to practice your performance, it was all but good; it wasn't even near your "ok" performance.

Okay, maybe it wasn't because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. The other day you've been pushing yourself quite hard and it was the first day of your period. To top it off? The only thing your boyfriend, Yuzu did was telling you that it'll be alright and one bad day won't do any harm since everyone has those days.

I mean, who could blame him, practice isn't always easy when you're not into it. The whole entire day, you just prayed that practice would be over as soon as possible but of course, the more you want time to go by, the longer it actually is.

After what feels like days, practice was finally over and you were all dismissed to go back to your hotel. But despite feeling rough, you decided to wait for Yuzu since you just wanted to sulk and complain to him. But when you saw Yuzu talking with other female skaters, you decided to just leave in your grumpy state.

Throughout the rest of the day, you kept on ignoring all the notifications you got from Yuzu. Every message, every phone call, you ignored them all. Until you heard a knock on the door to your hotel room. Thinking it was the room service you ordered but it turns out to be a not pleased Yuzu.

"Where were you? I've called you so many times. Did you even check your phone?!" Yuzu questioned, his tone was immediately an octave higher

"It was charging. I'm trying to not look at my phone too much. It stresses me out" you shrugged, going back to your bed and looking at your laptop

"What's the difference with your laptop then?! You know what, never mind. Do you know how worried I was?! I thought something happened to you" Yuzu sighed, stress combing his hair

"Oh, now you noticed. I'm fine. Thanks for asking. You should head back and rest. Our show is literally tomorrow" you mentioned, not looking away from your laptop

"What's with you? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?!" Yuzu started to get worried

"Nothing much. Just another tiring day. I'm serious Yuzu, just go. You need your rest too" you replied, sighing

"Why? Why are you pushing me away?! We barely talked today" Yuzu complained

"I'm just tired and on my period. Can we please not have this conversation. I don't want to lash out at you" you sighed, getting up from the bed

"Why? Why would you lash out? C'mon, let's just talk. I'm worried about you" Yuzu mentioned, taking your hands in his

"Why don't you just go back to the other skaters. I really am not in the mood to talk. Just go" you groaned, letting your hands go

"This talk isn't over (Y/N). You can be mad at me but we still have to talk it through. Get some rest, alright?" Yuzu sighed in defeat, leaving you in your room

Oh how you wish you could just make the whole week go by as fast as Thanos' snap. But, like it or not, you just have to face it and get through cause eventually it'll all be over.

Unfortunately, the other skaters and even the audience knew that something was wrong. Your typical bubbly and enthusiastic self was nowhere to be seen. Sure, you managed to perform your skating until the end, but it seems something was off. Your expression didn't lie.

What threw it off even more is when you were supposed to be the first jumper before the closing but you decided to let Zhenya do it, telling her that you weren't feeling well and your period cramps were acting up more than the usual and because Zhenya was the closest to you.

After the performance was over, there were many words going around and the media started to bring up some news about you preferring Zhenya over Alina to do the first jump. When the news started to blow up, Yuzu was the first to try to find you and talk about why you did what you did; not only that, he also wanted to talk about why you've been avoiding him since last night and even during the whole event.

However, the second the staff told everyone to go backstage, you were the first to leave the stage because your period cramps were getting unbearable and you quickly excused to be able to go back to the hotel on your own, trying to get away from the media who were plastering questions to why you decided to give your first jump spot to Zhenya.

Over on Yuzu's side, his eyes were traced on you throughout the whole show. Especially when you gave up your first jump spot for someone else when you normally are enthusiastic to do it. When Yuzu saw you quickly going backstage, he didn't hesitate to follow you. Calling out for you and asking you to talk but he lost sight of you and you eventually went out of the room before he could get to you, sparking another drama for the media.

Throughout the rest of the day, you just shut any kind of way for people to contact you and just passed out since the period cramps were getting to you. You didn't know how long you've been sleeping until you heard several, no, multiple knocks on your door that could probably be heard throughout the floor you were staying.

Grunting, you finally woke up and headed towards the door, opening it and revealed Yuzu, your boyfriend and the person you honestly don't really want to talk to but at the same time, relieved that it was him instead of someone else. Sighing, you knew that you were going to have the talk sooner or later. So, you finally let him in, telling him that you just woke up.

"Before you ask anything. I just woke up" you mentioned, closing the door as Yuzu came in

"What happened? Are you sick? You didn't seem too well. If you were sick, you could've said so instead of pushing yourself and not putting on your best performance" Yuzu started to lecture

"Yuzu..." you mumbled

"Like honestly. I was worried. We're all worried about you but you kept pushing us away" Yuzu argued

"Yuzu!! Stop!!" you raised your voice back

"No. Look, I get it if you're tired but that doesn't mean you should just push people away" Yuzu argued back

"YUZURU HANYU!! I SAID. STOP IT" you shouted, stunning Yuzu since he never saw you this angry

"Please. I'm already tired from a stressful week and my period just came yesterday and the cramps were unbearable even when I've taken medication" you sighed, plopping back on your bed as Yuzu follows you

"Not only that. I was hoping to be able to have a night of just the both of us yesterday but you were talking to other skaters and I don't want to seem so clingy or anything. I also don't want to be mad at you since my mood swings during my period is not the greatest. But guess the media thought otherwise" you explained

"Hey, hey, look at me. Why didn't you say anything? No one would've ever thought something like that, hmm? Especially me. You're not clingy at all. I actually like it you know. Makes me feel more loved and wanted. It's actually one of the things I like about you. What bout letting Zhenya jump first? Was it also because of your period?" Yuzu softly asked, holding your hands in his as he kneeled in front of you

"Yea. And Zhenya was the closest to me. I swear there's no hate going around or anything" you replied, sighing

"Alright. Let's not worry about that. We can deal with the media tomorrow. I'm just glad that you're alright. Please tell me whenever you don't feel well or if something doesn't sit right with you, okay? No matter what reason it is. No matter if you think it's silly, I want to hear about it. We're in this together. Whatever your problem is, it's my problem too and I want to help you" Yuzu reminded, holding your hand tightly in his

"Okay. I'm sorry for making you and everyone else worry" you mumbled

"It's alright. Just don't hide anything from me anymore okay? Now let's just rest. I'll help you deal with the media tomorrow, hmm?" Yuzu mentioned, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead

"Are you staying?" you murmured, looking into his eyes

"If you want me to. If not, I'll just stay until you're asleep" Yuzu replied, patting your head

"You can stay. I don't feel like I'll be able to sleep anytime soon since I did just take a long nap" you mentioned

"Alright. Then I'll stay here to comfort you. Let's just watch a film, hmm? I'll order some room service" Yuzu mentioned, going over to the phone to call for room service but you stopped him

"Thank you, Yuzu. I really am lucky to have you" you smiled, looking at Yuzu with eyes full of love

"And I am too. I'm thankful to have you as well. Thankful that you're able to make me warmer and more open to others" Yuzu giggled, taking your hand and kissing it

In the end, the both of you just cuddled up in your bed and watched some movies to end the night, thanking the universe for bringing the both of you together. Because, in the end of the day, no matter what difficult situations you may face, with the right person, you can get through it.

A/N: @thehappygrungelife I hope that I did your request a justice and hope that you like it :)

[kaiorik]

Gojo Satoru and Nanami Kento with a S/O that flinches when they're arguing

Request: Halo! Can i ask gojo and nanami reacts to reader flinching while they are arguing? Angst is my life😺. Thank you, have a nice day<3

Angst; fluff; mentions of domestic violence; mentions of dead parents; swearing

Autor's note: this is the second request akwvsiw, i hope you can enjoy it!

Gojo Satoru

The two of you really never argued with eachother, but when you did, from your perspective it was very scary.

Gojo would look at you with his big blue eyes, and you could feel the anger of his self.

The reason for him it wasn't that much of a deal, but for you it was important and you feared you could lose him one day because of his "job" wich was literally fight with curses.

"You can't do this to me Satoru! I need you to understand that i'm scared i might lose you one day!" You said while your eyes got tears on them.

"And i need you to understand that it isn't a big deal! I'm fine you see?! I'M MORE POWERFUL THAN THE REST! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TRUST ME!" Gojo had screamed back at you. By that time, you already were scared, and the thoughts of your parents dying on a mission started to get in your mind.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE THE SAME FATE AS MY PARENTS! THAT'S WHY!... Gojo... Can't you see that all of this is hurting me? It's hurting us." You could already feel the tears running trough your face. You just couldn't live without him.

"For fuck sake y/n! I'm not weak like that "parents" you had" Gojo was obviously irritated, why couldn't you just believe him when he promised he would always be by your side?

With anger running trough his veins he lifted his right hand to cover his eyes with such force, it made you flinch.

Gojo just couldn't believe what his eyes saw, you had flinched, you tought he was going to hit you? No way... no way... no...

"Y/n, did you just-" He tried to talk to you.

"No! Don't worry Satoru... i'm fine" You just stared at the floor. "Uhm, i'm going to sleep, good night and don't stay up until late ok?" Without waiting for his response, you went to your room and closed the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------

After Gojo cleared his mind and knew what to do, he went to the shared room you had, when he entered, he expected you to be asleep, but to his surprise you weren't.

"Hey...", ... after waiting for you to talk back, wich you didn't, he saw your puffy eyes and he remembered you were crying, he didn't noticed it at first, but when he imagined your beautiful face covered in tears his world fell down.

"Y/n i'm sorry, i'm so sorry i screamed at you, i'm so sorry i made you worry about me, i was just angry and my day wasn't that good, i made you flinch and i don't think i can forgive myself after that, but please talk to me y/n" He pleaded while he ran to you and hugged you from behind, hiding his face on your neck.

When you felt the tears on your shoulder you faced him back and hugged him. "Listen Satoru, i care for you and the simple thought of losing you beacuse of a curse is destroying me, i love you, and i need you to understand how i feel."

Gojo just nooded and you two fell asleep, after that day, he made sure to give you a goodbye kiss and reasure you that he was going to be okay.

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILER FROM JUJUTSU KAISEN MANGA

Angst; mentions of death; cursing

Nanami Kento

You knew that Nanami was always safe, that he could face any curse and he would still be okay.

You wondered why Nanami didn't came home for days, you were worried.

You two just had a fight the day he left the house and didn't came back, was it your fault? Bet you didn't knew what exactly happened.

Nanami came home at late hours, 2 am, 4 am, even 6 am, but he always left at 7 or 8 am, and you understood it, he had a job, and he kinda loved it, but sometimes you wondered if it wasn't too much presure for him.

You couldn't even remember the last time you saw his face so that night you waited for him. He entered the house and saw you sitting in the couch.

"What are you doing awake at this hour? Let's go to bed, bet you're tired" You could feel how he was worried and sleepy at the same time.

"Yeah uhm, can we talk?" That phrase made Nanami get palid, he thought the worst and with fear in his eyes he looked at you.

"Yes, what you want to talk about?" Nanami tried his best to keep himself calm.

"Well, i have noticed that you come home at late hours, and i understand!, but we barely see eachother, and you know... i miss you, so... i was wondering... if we could spend more time together?..." Oh, so that was it, what a relieve.

But he really didn't understand, he was right there, so why can't you be happy with it?

"Y/n i'm here with you, let's just forget that, and go to bed, it's already late and for sure you're tired"

"No Kento, i'm done with this, i just want you to be by my side and you just talk to me like it is nothing!" You were angry, how could he?

He was more angry than you, he thought you were selfish, why did you asked for more? Wasn't that enough?

"NO Y/N I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU WANT MORE? I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU OK? I'M OUT THERE AT WORK AND YOU JUST STAY HERE DOING NOTHING! YOU WANT TIME WITH ME? I WILL GIVE YOU THE TIME YOU WANT!" He had no right to snap at you, so why was he doing it?

"NO KENTO I DON'T WANT THAT TIME BY THIS WAY, AND THAT I DO NOTHING? I CLEAN THE HOUSE, I CLEAN YOUR CLOTHES, I GIVE YOU FOOD, I BUY WHAT YOU NEED AND WANT!" You were amused by his attitude.

"THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT Y/N ?! I CAN'T GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE TOO" You weren't part of his life?

"FOR F SAKE Y/N I CAN'T WITH YOU ANYMORE" After that he lifted his hand. He was going to hit you?

You fliched back and tripped with the carpet, that made you fell, but you didn't get up, you just covered your face and tears started to leave from your eyes.

Nanami noticed you on the floor, he had lifted his hand to brush it trough his hair, why did you flinch? Why were you now on the floor?. Realization punched him like cold water, and when he tried to get you up you just stared back at him in horror.

The next thing he did was leave the house, and day after day after day you knew nothing about him anymore, he didn't came home after that.

After one month.

You were shopping in the mall, you still missed Nanami, and you were searching for him. You heard voices talking.

X person: "Hey did you heard the news?"

B person: "Oh, about the man that died because of a curse? Yeah i heard that, i wonder if his family knows he is dead."

X person: "What was his name? Nanami? Namani? Nami?"

B person: "It's Nanami i think, poor man, i wish someone could have saved him."

He... was dead? Was that the reason you didn't knew anything from him for days?

No, it's a lie, couldn't be dead, he wasn't dead right?

You conected the dots, and you knew. The days he didn't came home, he didn't send you messages, you waited for him, but he never showed in front of you.

It was true.

When you got back home you cried, you felt like you wanted to die just to be with him, why did that happened? Why the last thing he had from you was an horror face and not a goodbye hug?

Till this day, you still regret it, even if you weren't selfish, you wish that in another life or another world, you and Nanami could still be together, and you tell to yourself you won't commit the same accident. For now, you need to live with the regret and with the sadness of his departure.

This was so sad to write, once again sorry if i have grammar errors.

This is for @lonely-dreamer , i hope you enjoy it! If you have any recomendation and you want me to change some parts just tell me and i'll do it.

Another person requested to @ them in this work, so @inumakiful here it is :)

Thank you for the requests!