#i'm not really that used to communicating at all! ^^;

[sachinteng]

Dysphoria (2025)

This is a repaint of an illustration I first posted right here on this account over a decade ago when I first transitioned. I did this for TDOV this year as a sort of 'then vs now' for myself more than anything. A lot has changed in a decade. I've changed.

A decade ago visibility felt like liberation, but today it feels like a target. A decade ago politicians made a lot of promises to us, and today they can't run away from us fast enough. A decade ago I was crashing out in a dysphoria spiral. Today, in spite of everything, I'm at peace with myself.

It's Pride Month in the States and the Trans community is going through it. Between the Skrmetti decision and the threat of HR1 stripping care from Trans people of ALL ages on Medicaid and ACA plans, Trans people need support more than ever.

So I'm making this illustration available as a print in my shop and 100% of the proceeds will be donated to Point of Pride, an organization dedicated to providing financial aid for transition care. I'll post receipts of funds donated at the end of the month.

I'm aiming to raise at least $2000, as that's the amount needed to cover 12 months of telehealth services, prescription medications, lab work, and more for at least one trans person in need of HRT.

Transition care really IS life saving, it saved MY life. I wouldn't have lived to make any of the art that people have told me they love so much. My whole portfolio, all my work over the years, none of it would exist. If my art has ever meant anything to you, please, help.

You can donate using the link below:

[jennelikejennay]

A thing I need neurotypical Star Trek fans to understand is that Spock—and the whole Vulcan species—are heavily autism-coded. Originally unintentionally, but now it seems that they're doing it on purpose.

Autistic fans feel this deeply and relate to Spock a lot. When he acts really weird and his friends accept him anyway, it's so comforting. We can be weird and off-putting and people will still love us! This was something the TOS writers very much intended, because the point was befriending people who are different.

But when Vulcans are constantly racist, when Spock is seen as only happy and lovable when he changes, when human characters announce that what REALLY matters is emotion and community, which Vulcans can never understand....well.

One wonders if that's how you see us. Especially when we see neurotypical fans accept this viewpoint uncritically and lean even harder into it than the show does.

I wrote about this at length on my author blog, but all I'm really asking right now is for you to think for a second about what you say about Vulcans and ask: if I subbed out the word "Vulcan" for the word "autistic," do I sound like a raging asshole? And if the answer is yes, don't say that thing!

[elliespectacular]

Lot of weird misconceptions popping up about the DaThings upload schedule this week, so just to clear the air a little:

Are you ok?

Yes.

Don't stress yourself out!

I'm not.

How are you making videos so fast?

I'm not.

But your community post--

You mean the one where I said that I had several small videos basically done?

You don't have to upload a bunch to make up for the gap!

I know, but I'm having fun.

You don't owe your viewers anything!

I know, but I'm having fun.

You're spoiling us!

I'm really not. If you add up the runtimes of all the videos it's basically the same as one of my regular/longish uploads. Hardly a big turnout for 4+ months, depending on how you count it.

Are there any more YTPs?

Yes.

[ao3commentoftheday]

i found a small fandom, less than 10 pages of works on AO3 (one of my past fandoms was Star Wars, that's why that seems tiny to me), and i want to be involved in this fandom. but, because the fandom is so small, i know that it's way more likely for me to be noticed, and i'm intimidated by that thought. with Star Wars, i was noticed but i was pretty much under the radar, because the fandom is huge. but with this small fandom, i know if i post something, i won't really be under the radar anymore, because there's so little fan content. how can i become less scared of this?

You're not alone in this, anon. I've been noticing it in myself, in recent years, that I'm more self-conscious about my online presence than I used to be. We could dig deep into that whole conversation another time if you're interested, but for now let's focus in on dealing with that state of mind.

What part of being noticed to you find scary?

There are a lot of possibilities, of course. You could worry about being deemed not good enough. Or you could fear that the things you want to write are not the things that people want to read. Maybe you worry that you'll be someone who creates one of those famous "fanon" ideas that everyone latches onto and later hates because everyone latched onto it.

An even deeper worry might be that, even with a small audience, you won't be noticed after all. Or that they'll notice and then reject you.

Posting your fanworks in a place where other people can see them brings its own kind of stage fright, sometimes, and it sounds like you might be experiencing that. The good thing about AO3, though, is that you can post any time that you want to, so you can wait until you're in a good frame of mind before you dive in.

There are a few things you could try out and see if any of them help:

Turn off comments when you post your work. If people can't comment, then you won't feel bad about not receiving any (if that's your worry).

Write your stuff without posting it at all. Get comfortable with your fics first and feel good about them on your own terms. Then, when you post you won't feel as nervous about whether other people like them (if that's your worry).

Reach out to other folks in the fandom, either by commenting on their works on AO3 or by finding them here on tumblr or on other social media. Make some acquaintances and maybe even friends, and that might make you feel more like a welcome community member than a stranger or an interloper (if that's your worry).

It all comes down to trying to pinpoint what the scary thing actually is so that you can find the best way to make it less scary. As someone who has been posting in a fandom with (one sec while I check) 4 pages of results on AO3, I'll just say that people are lovely actually and things are rarely ever as bad in reality as you fear that they might be in your head. ❤️

[amuseoffyre]

Speedrun of memories from the meet-and-greet last night:

Ruibo is the loveliest of people and had only arrived from New York 3 hours before the con began. She said she's loving it so far and everyone's so lovely. She really enjoyed the community of the show and how much people embraced Zheng. She was so thrilled with her mini-me 🥰

Nathan is such a wonderful catty diva and I love him so much.He complained about the lack of Lucius but was very pleased to see the Pete muppet and took a selfie with it to send to Matt Maher 🥰

David Fane's face journey on his way to our table went 😮😍 when he saw his mini-me waiting for him. He was so excited about it and he told us some of the significance of Fang's tattoos and that after the show, he ended up getting the belly tattoos done. The traditional artist who designed them was the same person who did the ink-work on his upper right arm. The bird motif is a very specific one in Samoan culture and the placement of it on his chest, towards his heart, was "so it was always flying home"

He is also such a giggly scamp - about Fang's belt on his head, he insisted to the costume designers that it was badass and cool to wear a belt on the head and the wardrobe team made a kind of "....Hm" response. "So I put it on my head anyway and then went out for filming and didn't let anyone take it off me and then it was too late for them to stop me ���"

He also mentioned that Fang was such a delight to play because there's this tendency to make bigger performers tough and scary, but he loved that while Fang has done all this violence and lived through so much harsh and horrible stuff, he's still this sweet guy who just wants to be nice to people and have a good time with his friends.

Con was his usual glorious self. We ended up having a fascinating talk about the state of media, the limits placed on creative people by executives, how people at the top don't *get* why things work, they just take things that are successful and try and regurgitate them over and over until the genre/story/narrative is dead. He also waxed lyrical about what an excellent person David Tennant is, both for the way he doesn't let himself be pigeonholed by roles and for being "the kind of person I aspire to be"

And lastly, but by no means least, David Jenkins himself. He's having a lovely time from the looks of things, and he's so quick and witty and astute. I can't recall a lot of specifics but he was very excited about the muppets and insisted on a selfie with the whole table to send to his wife.

We did have a brief discussion about the state of TV at the moment and I brought up my favourite thing of streaming's downfall matching the history of the golden age and he agreed that when they got the budget for OFMD S1, at the time it "felt like Cecil B DeMills just throwing money at everything".

He also got very excited about tiny glow-in-the-dark unicorns that were being handed out, claimed one and named it Pepsi Jenkins. "Great name for a pet, awful name for a child"

It's been a lovely time and that was all while running on fumes. Day 2 is about to start, so I'm off for brekkie and to nab some munchies from the buffet

[catboybiologist]

thanks for your explanation about the roots of transmisogyny and ergo why transandrophia doesnt make sense as a counterpart - found that explanation enlightening.

as a trans man, there’s another piece to the misogyny ive faced that maybe you have thoughts on? since i was raised and treated as a woman for the first two decades of my life, i was often considered less capable or less worthy of awards/promotions/etc just for being a “woman”. now that i pass, i experience male privilege, but underneath that, i still have all the setbacks of 21 years of misogyny (setbacks that my trans sister, for example, never faced. not trying to play oppression olympics here to be clear!). so i have male privilege in the present moment but not the snowball effect that cis men have.

anyway, i appreciate your clear and thoughtful breakdown of how these structures of oppression operate, and am interested in any thoughts you might have on this angle

So yeah, these are thoughts I've grappled with a lot, and honestly get really personal. They're also thoughts that I talk to a lot of cis women about, and is a reason why I think it's important for trans women to have more solidarity with cis women.

Misogyny does affect trans women pre-transition, let's be clear. Vilification of feminity and being branded as "faggotgender" are manifestations of misogyny as well, and trans women will often have this experience. I was, and the series of incidents that I consider my worst interactions with transmisogyny were actually technically pretransiton, when I was questioning and tepidly telling people that.

With that out of the way, that experience is MUCH different than what most transmascs and cis women go through. One compare and contrast I've made with some cis friends is their first experiences with sexualization. I was first nonconsensually approached and followed by a man in public when I was 26 years old. For my cis friends, it was as early as 11.

That does shit to you. That's trauma inducing. I'm not going to deny that it is, because that would be horrifying.

Cis women have also had to deal with exactly what you said: not being taken seriously as a professional for years. Trans women don't necessarily have that until they transition.

The flip side of this, however, is that trans women face misogyny in ways that are far more silent and isolated than cis women.

Alongside their horror stories, my cis friends have also told me of the support: mothers, sisters, friends, community members, older women who protected them, pulled them aside, gave them love and sympathy, attacked the men who targeted them, and gave them advice on how to keep their head up in the face of sexual danger and professional sexism.

Trans women, more often than not, get none of that.

There was no one to defend me or sympathize with me the first time I got sexually assaulted. No one believed me when I noticed people rapidly taking me less seriously after I socially transitioned. No one believed that I was "enough of a woman" to get catcalled.

Slowly, over time, that changed. But it changed because I had open and honest conversations about it with people- and I would say I have a strong network of friends and supporters now, precisely because I've engaged with the different ways this has affected us.

It's all a balance. I'm not doing anything oppression Olympics here, and neither are you! These are important experiences to compare and contrast. In fact, let's take that lack of support I mentioned: the first people I started getting support from, were the same cis women telling me those sorties. Breaking down the barriers, talking openly about how to navigate a misogynist world, and restating that yes, the force we're feeling is misogyny is a super important thing to bring into your day to day life.

Bit of a personal pontification and guilt under the cut.

This cuts at a bit of guilt I've been feeling recently.

I graduated high school as a man.

I got admitted to my undergrad as a man, and started research there as a man.

I got my Bachelor's of Science as a man.

I got my first Masters of Science as a man.

I was admitted to a PhD program as a man.

I transitioned.

I dropped out as a woman.

I've felt a lot of complicated feelings of failure and guilt around this. They're deeply rooted to other parts of my life too personal to talk about on tumblr. But... Yeah. This is all part of it. And yeah, I do see how I was propped up in the past, and how much of that I've lost.

Along the way, I had a lot of silent oppression as well. But I still don't talk about those, and to the world, it still looks like I became a woman and immediately crumpled. What kind of message does that send?

Idk. I know this is dumb. But yeah. Shit sucks.

[gingersnaptaff]

You know what nobody tells you about Welsh myth? How interconnected everybody is. 🙃🙃🙃 I'm losing my mind. The family of Llŷr (so Brân, Branwen, Manawydan, Efnisien, and Nisien) are nieces and nephews to the family of Dôn (so Gwydion, Gilfaethwy, Amaethon, Aranrhod, Eufudd, Lludd and Llefelys, and Penarddun, who is the Llŷr kids mam.) Then you've got Lludd who is probably a misspelling of Nudd who is the dad of Gwyn ap Nudd, Edern, and probably Creiddylad. (Cuz, y'know, nothing can be easy.) Then you've got Beli Mawr who is Lludd and Llefelys' dad (and, presumably, the rest of the Dôn bunch's papa too, but idk.) And then, Rhiannon, Pwyll, and Pryderi are Just Chilling until BLAM! Rhiannon gets married to Manawydan because the author of The Mab Dropped A Bridge on Pwyll.

Also, let's not forget Welsh mythology's fuckin Arthurian family tree. Arthur had fifty-seven-thousand cousins, half of them are saints, and also Culhwch's there for some fuckin reason. Medrawd probably wasn't even his son in Welsh myth proper (although I'm conjecturing with that because I Have No Sources.) Meanwhile, Gwenhwyfar and Gwenhwyfach are facing off in The World's Most Destructive Battle.

(Also, P.S. Culhwch is a cousin to Olwen and a double-cousin to Goreu. Custennin and Ysbaddaden are brothers. Goleuddydd (Culhwch's mam) is also a sister to Goreu's mam.)

(P.P.S: Lleu and Blodeuwedd are also cousins except Woman Made Out of Flowers. Because Gwydion and Math did the ritual and they're cousins. But also maaaaaybe brother and sister? Because Gwydion could be Lleu's Actual Dad. So, yes.)

[infinityinakiss]

oh mama, it has been a long day, when it should've just been a happy one. i thought i'd just put every psa into one post, cause the world is testing me today.

paige and azzi's social media presence is a PRIVILEGE that we have, not a right. they do not owe you anything as public figures. stop acting like you've been wronged just because they didn't post something. enjoy what they do post, and leave it at that.

i'm not the first person to say this and i won't be the last. you do not know them. you don't know what their relationship is like besides what they post, you don't know what conversations they are having. i keep seeing people saying they "feel bad for azzi" as if the discourse that they're having is to protect azzi or something. stop pretending you're talking shit about her relationship for her.

guys, we really need to stop bothering other players about paige and azzi. they have their own lives and they do not need us hounding them about other people. why were there people flooding ty's live with comments about paige and azzi? ty's literally injured and out for the season, leave her be.

if you are claiming that paige isn't treating azzi right solely based on her social media response, first of all, you're deluded. second of all, you are not a paige fan. you do not like paige. to say that paige is somehow betraying someone that she has known for nearly a decade, that has been there for every challenge in her life, is basically saying she's an asshole of astronomical proportions. if you disagree with this, then maybe you need to reflect on why you're accusing paige of something you don't even understand.

and if you read the last 4 bullets and thought "preach, but i don't need to hear this, i'm a normally adjusted person," always remember report then BLOCK. reporting is better than nothing, but people like this don't learn, they just make new accounts. block. block. block. protect your peace. this tag should be a safe place for everyone, and i'm sorry that it's not. if you ever see something that pisses you off but you don't wanna interact with the account, come to my asks. i have spent the whole day wishing i could smack people through a screen, so i'm always happy to see it.

lastly, if you live in the us, i know it feels like everything has been awful recently, but after what has happened today, it truly feels like the world is on fire. i've always appreciated how tight knit the pazzi community is on here. my asks are always open if you need to talk or vent about anything. or if you just need to come say hi and remember you're not alone. door's always open. i love y'all.

[reomikagekin]

What if Ryusui with a reader that just... doesn't really know how to express gratitude?

like. I do not process any emotions well, but I usually mask decently & am friendly. but one thing I CAN'T replicate well for some reason is gratitude for unexpected gifts. I appreciate all gifts i get, but I'm pretty sure I always just seem like "oh thanks... an avocado..."

I don't. purposefully try to be ungrateful or anything. I wear clothes people give me (as long as they're not Sensory Hell), jewelry goes in My Collection Of Shiny, I'll draw in sketchbooks, cuddle stuffed animals, etc, and I REFUSE to get rid of anything that was given to me as a gift lmao

i just think Ryusui trying to woo a reader who's default reaction is just a calm "oh- uhm- thanks-" would be a funny premise.

"I don't think reader likes my gifts :("

"... they hissed at me like a feral cat when I suggested using the jewelry for science-"

A Dragon’s Greatest Challenge

Ryusui Nanami was, in most things, a man of certainty.

Business, politics, exploration — all required clarity of vision, confidence, drive. And those were qualities he had in spades.

Wooing others? Please — effortless. He’d once made a career of it. Lavish gifts, charming words, the right timing — it was practically a science. An art form he had long since mastered.

But you…

You were a mystery wrapped in calm tones and polite smiles, and it drove him mad.

He’d noticed you early on in the Kingdom of Science’s growing community. You had a sharp eye, a steady presence — friendly enough, good at playing along, but something about you always felt… held back. Not distant, just controlled.

And Ryusui liked puzzles.

So naturally, he began his campaign: small, thoughtful gifts. To show you he was paying attention. A way to say “I see you.”

The First Gift It was a bracelet — handmade from golden threads, small beads and shells, woven with care. Light enough not to be irritating, elegant in a subtle way.

He presented it with a grand flourish, because of course he did.

“For the most intriguing one among us,” he said, flashing a grin. “A token of admiration.”

You blinked up at him, startled.

A beat of silence.

“Oh. Uhm— thanks.”

A quiet voice. No flush, no spark of surprise. Just that small, soft phrase — and then you tucked the bracelet carefully into your pocket.

Ryusui stood there for a long moment, brows lifting. That was… not the reaction he expected.

The Second Gift Maybe you didn’t like jewelry? He pivoted. This time: a rare fruit, sweet and juicy, one that took effort to find on the coastline.

He found you near the workshop, set the fruit before you with a wink. “For you,” he said, tone playful. “A delicacy worthy of a discerning palate.”

Again — that blink. A pause.

“Oh. Thanks. I’ll eat it later.”

You picked it up and moved on, leaving Ryusui standing there again, dumbfounded.

The Third Gift Determined now, Ryusui crafted a beautiful leather-bound sketchbook, the cover embossed with a dragon — his signature motif.

He handed it to you with a note, a dramatic tilt of his head: “For the one whose eyes always see what others miss.”

And… the same reaction.

“Oh. Thanks.”

You took it gently and walked away.

By the fourth attempt, Ryusui was sprawled dramatically across a log in camp, arm slung over his face.

“They don’t like my gifts,” he moaned to Senku, Chrome, and Minami. “It’s tragic! No joy, no delight — nothing! Doomed, before I even begin!”

Senku didn’t even look up. “You’re being ridiculous.”

Chrome tilted his head. “I saw them using the sketchbook earlier.”

Ryusui shot upright. “What?!”

Chrome pointed: across camp, there you were, sitting beneath a tree, completely absorbed in your drawing — the dragon sketchbook open on your lap, bracelet glinting on your wrist.

Minami crossed her arms. “Maybe your ego’s too big to see it, but they like your gifts. They just don’t show it the way you expect.”

Ryusui stared at you for a long moment.

You weren’t faking. You weren’t being polite out of obligation. You were using the gifts, wearing them. Treating them with care.

A grin tugged at his mouth. “How fascinating…”

From then on, he adjusted his strategy. No more grand gestures, no big expectations. He would give quietly — and watch, and learn.

Weeks later, he left a delicate necklace in your work kit, with a simple note: “For no reason but my own greed — to see you shine.”

He didn’t approach you about it. Simply waited.

Later, he spotted you — the necklace around your neck, no fuss, no words.

That was better than any blushing thanks.

But the real breakthrough came soon after.

Ryusui was helping Senku test a new metallurgical process, in need of a conductor for the circuit. He happened to spot, neatly tucked in your box of personal things, a few of the necklaces and trinkets he’d given you.

“Mind if I borrow this for science?” he called lightly, reaching.

You froze mid-step. Your gaze sharpened. And then — you hissed.

An actual hiss. Shoulders hunched, eyes narrowed, arms wrapping protectively around your collection.

Ryusui blinked. Then — he laughed. Loud and full of life.

“Oh-ho! So that’s how it is! A dragon guarding their hoard!” He beamed. “You do like them — you treasure them! I knew it!”

You flushed, but stubbornly didn’t deny it — simply gathering your things and tucking them safely away.

From that point on, it became a private game.

Ryusui still brought you gifts: small, thoughtful, useful. A rare stone for your collection. New cloth, smooth and soft. A book of pressed flowers.

He never pressed for thanks. But each time, he watched.

When he saw a bracelet appear on your wrist, or you used a tool he’d repaired for you, or found the fruit he’d left tucked in your bag eaten the next morning — it thrilled him.

You weren’t cold. You weren’t ungrateful.

You were simply… someone whose heart worked in quieter ways.

And that — to Ryusui — made you all the more fascinating. A new kind of treasure, one he had to learn how to read. And he would — gladly.

Months Later Sitting beneath the stars on the deck of Perseus, you glanced up at Ryusui where he leaned against the railing, arms crossed, watching the sea.

“… You’re still giving me gifts,” you said softly.

He looked down at you, grin lazy but warm. “Of course. I’m greedy, remember? Greedy for everything beautiful.”

You fiddled with your bracelet — one of his first gifts. “I’m… not good at showing thanks. I do appreciate them. A lot.”

Ryusui’s grin softened. “I know.”

A pause. He reached out, gently flicking the dragon pendant at your throat.

“I see you wear them. Guard them like treasure. That says more than words, my dear.”

You blinked at him — then, for once, smiled. Small. Real.

“…Thanks.”

And for Ryusui Nanami — king of the new world, sailor of seas and hearts — that was worth more than all the riches in the world.

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s June ficrec Jamboree.

Hi everyone, happy Summer hiatus! Wow have you all been busy, there's so many incredible stories and art out there right now. I'm back with another round of fic that I've read and loved over the last month. It's a big one!!

As always you can find previous rec lists here.

21 June 2025

a one time thing (every time) by @fcntasmas back with a bang, this is a 40k 'what if Buck and Eddie were 'platonically' hooking up all along ever since 2x01, but didn't mean to catch feelings along the way' fic, with Eddie having feelings realisation first and spiralling accordingly. Completely gripping and an emotional rollercoaster, these two dummies can be soooo stupid (in love.) - I also adored the season 9 spec fic with Buck and Sophia Diaz roommates.

the taking of station 118 by pinkdoughnut was JUST what I needed to read post season 8 - with the firefam still grieving, Chim steps into the role of Captain, and right into our spec season 9 opening disaster AND a firehouse hostage situation. Brilliantly characterised team dynamics and some lovely buddie along the way.

hope is a well with no bottom (but you make me feel full) by @facewithoutheart super horny slightly voyeuristic Eddie keeps accidentally coming home early during roommate era whilst Buck is hooking up with people in his private time, and conspires to manifest this for himself. Hot and silly and fun.

let every man be master of his time by @illgetmerope a timeloop fic! Buck wakes up on his day off...and a frantic Eddie arrives on his doorstep. You see Eddie's been stuck in a loop and Buck keeps dying of a suspected aneurism, no matter how early he flies back from El Paso to warn him. When Buck inadvertently gets dragged into the loop with him, he assumes he's having another coma dream! How many loops will it take to figure it out? I loved the claustrophobia and sense of ever increasing desperation but also the way that feelings clicked into place through time (it's giving me Window of Opportunity, iykyk.)

on nights when i'm hollow by @sonofatoasterwaffle angry hurt/comfort with not too much comfort at first grief hook up fic, following the kitchen fight scene. This one is visceral and has claws and I loved it a lot. When you love someone so much you know exactly the right way to hit them where it hurts.

you need to cry, baby by @roosterseresin 'The first time it happens it scared the shit out of Eddie.' Buck keeps crying during sex (but in an affirming way). Cathartic and sweet, and overflowing with feeling (just like Buck.)

Getting Better All the Time by @glorious-spoon 'Buck walks in on Eddie watching porn. It escalates from there.' oh weewookinkmeme how you have blessed us so! We're gonna have to stain guard the couch. Such a lovely build of tension and embarrassment and succumbing to horniness.

four thousand miles to you by @spaceshipkat okay but Kat has been keeping us FED this month!! I literally couldn't pick which fic to rec at first so go read them all, but oh this one really stuck with me. 'It’s been over two months of chasing Buck across the country, from state to state to state, following a trail he suspects Buck doesn’t realize he’s dropping breadcrumbs on. If he did, Eddie worries he’d stop sending the postcards, and they’re his only clues.' I love postcard fic, and the chase and almosts and bubbling undercurrents of hurt and love and hope runs throughout. Gorgeous!

if food be the language of love (eat up!) by @chronicowboy Buck's learned love language is food, via Bobby. So with him gone, he...stops cooking. But soon he realises that maybe he needs this language to communicate with Eddie in the way he knows best. Grief and love and care. Such a beautiful healing journey.

i kinda wanna kiss your boyfriend if you don’t mind by @buckme 'Buck and Eddie get together. The people of LA are blinded by how attractive the two of them are once they're happy, and lots of flirting ensues.' Such an excellent set up, and so much fun to read. Loved the firefam being like, oh no, it's the new couple glow! Brilliant.

After the first time by @starlingbite 'Post season 8 - In which Buck and Eddie rush into sex before talking things through, resulting in Buck panicking ever so slightly in the middle of the night.' This is a short but sweet fic, beautifully sparsely written to show that late night time passing ticking clock, with some deeply relatable oh shit now what insomnia!

tux and flipper by @bisexualbellamyblake look something you have to know about me is I love me a gay penguin metaphor...can name you at least two gay penguin published stories to read right now, and am very delighted that buddie now have their own! 'Eddie comes out to Buck; Buck thinks he wants to go to the zoo.' So funny and delightfully endearing.

crawling back to you by @islandoforder 'post season 8, Buck confesses his feelings, Eddie lets him down as gently as he can, and they both try to figure out how to be just friends.' In which Eddie bluescreens, Buck and Eddie both go through seven depths of hell and introspection and panic, and eventually everything works out. Oh this one gave me so many emotions, gorgeously built up, and such a well crafted grasp on the quiet devastation of trying to stop things from changing when they already have.

pink like the inside of your by @themisally and finally I am dropping to my knees like an oasis in a desert and bowing down to this weewookinkmeme henren fic, in which Hen has made a deck of colour-coded flashcards to revise for her anatomy final, before Karen convinces her to try a more practical revision approach. So so sensual and erotic, dear god, I am so so so happy this gorgeous f/f fic exists. How many times is it possible to reread it in a week, asking for a friend?

Let's call it there for this month or I'll take up half your dash, but if you can't wait until July, don't forget to check out my daily ficrec tag, where there's even more goodness from this talented fandom!

[no0dlru]

We also had decent sex ed at my schools, and yeah - all of this is so important. By the time our sex ed went from "label these genitalia and which biological process occurs where" (at which point kids like myself were already getting periods) to "these are different contraceptives and other important things about sexual experiences, such as consent etc", a girl in our year (13 y.o.) was already pregnant and planning to keep the baby. Kids will seek sex no matter what. I'd already had experiences by the time they told us "do not use a crisp packet as a condom" (which still haunts me often - idk what's worse, the sharpness of the bag, the grease and crumbs, or the fact they felt the need to specify that in particular as if it comes up regularly ☠️).

Tumblr also blessed me at that age with the means to understand myself as a "gender non-conforming genderqueer/genderfluid demipansexual", even if I knew I'd be (and was 🙃) hate crimed for that once I was out (although I learnt quickly to just say "trans and bi", because it was 2012 and that got me bullied and hate crimed enough tyvm). This was before the queer community had even settled on "non-binary" as the generally agreed-upon phrase, before we had a flag, and when views on "passing" carried a lot more internalised transphobia than today. When I see kids at pride these days with NB flags it honestly makes me tear up that they have that understanding - as discriminated against as they still are - extant within society. As badly as we're being treated, we've come so far as a community ourselves, and pride really is the right word.

My school's sex ed was homophobic as hell - I won't go into it (yet again) because it was honestly traumatic. I *was* the queer sex ed - I was made to teach my violently-bigotted peers *and* the staff about trans healthcare, sex-ed, etc. at that age. My teachers had no idea sex and gender were different. Regardless of the lack of understanding at the time, I could recognise and articulate precisely how I felt in myself, how I experienced romantic and sexual attraction, what that meant for my interpersonal relationships, and for myself, in real time. I still explain those same aspects of my identity to friends 14 years later (e.g. "no, I don't find them 'hot'; they're beautiful I suppose, but I don't know anything about them - I just don't experience attraction that way", "my pronouns are whatever, my gender is whatever - I'm not agender but fuck 'gender' as we understand/treat it"), and I feel so honoured about that. People's bigotry is already so much to deal with without also thinking "I'm not like how it's being taught - what's even wrong with me?"

in conversations about sex education for children many people fall back on teaching children to recognize and, hopefully, report predatory behavior as the primary reason why this education is good, and obviously I don't disagree with that! when I educate my 4th-6th students, we spend a significant amount of time talking about boundaries and consent and drilling in to the kids' brains that they do NOT need to tolerate inappropriate touching or other behavior from anyone, not even adults who might try to pressure them into thinking otherwise.

BUT! but but but! I think it's also really important to remember that preparing for the worst case scenario isn't the only reason to educate kids about sexuality and their bodies! kids deserve to enter puberty understanding all of the changes they'll experience, and not just the growing and sweating. it's good for kids to understand the new desires they might start experiencing! it's good to know about intense new crushes and erections and wet dreams and sexual fantasies and masturbation! those things can be really, really scary and confusing for young people who don't have any framework to understand them, and it's really easy to feel like you're doing something dirty and inappropriate if no one has told you that sexual pleasure and curiosity is normal, healthy, and good.

good sex ed should help students feel comfortable and safe expressing their sexuality! that's crucial!

[ao3cassandraic]

Murderbot s1e7 quick reactions

Under a cut for spoilers, obviously...

Okay, so "we can talk about this" turns out to have some nuance, we learn in the open. Judging from Bharadwaj and Pin-Lee, it seems to mean something like "something's been wrong/awkward/bad between us, but enough water has passed under the bridge that we can talk about it now, it's fine." So the circle of PresAuxers was trying their best to forgive Murderbot and reopen communication with it, but Murderbot's not from PresAlliance so it missed the meaning. Ouch. (And Gurathin has absolutely not forgiven anything at all.)

Gurathin's backstory is every iota as awful as we all suspected it would be. Blackmail by addiction? That's just fucking evil.

Aaaaaaaaaand I'm not surprised he's a bit more than half in love with Mensah. He basically got himself reborn and imprinted on her. Explains a lot about the pillow thing.

Though Gurathin also has a soft spot for Bharadwaj. They're very sweet together. (No, I do not ship them. Maybe queerplatonically, but really, no.)

I really envy Mensah's sang-froid when criticized. I don't have that. I spiral at the least criticism -- I hate instructor evaluations so damn much -- and have had to train myself to clamp down hard on instinctive, unproductively nasty defensive responses. Mensah, you continue to be the best.

Murderbot, you were doing so well at a softer approach until your melodramatic streak surfaced! You'll get there, friend.

... But the logic of "if I wanted to kill you you'd be dead," unassailable though it is, isn't what they need to hear just now.

Nor is Ratthi's instinctive downplaying of everything ever. Be honest with the SecUnit and your comrades, Ratthi.

The continuum of beliefs about Murderbot is back in full force. Gurathin and Pin-Lee against Ratthi and Arada, with Mensah and Bharadwaj uneasily in the middle.

I suspect at least one of the writers is a Becky Chambers Monk and Robot fan. That was a visually lovely sequence.

Gura, your jealousy is unbecoming. And Mensah's right, wtaf are you thinking, man?!

"Any bullshit... Fine." Yeah, Murderbot-Gurathin parallels again. Neither of them is fine. Both of them keep claiming they are.

Bharadwaj does not think they can talk about this... which given the meaning of that to PresAlliancers, and given her reciprocal soft spot for Gurathin, I can see why not. Points to her for being the first one to take Murderbot seriously when it tells them to hit the hopper, though.

It would be just PresAux's luck if they just happened to land their hopper in the millipedes' preferred spawning ground. Oopsie.

I love Murderbot's uncompromising asexuality. Fistbump, Murderbot! (I mean, if you want. I know you don't like to be touched. An air fistbump is cool with me. Also, points to Ratthi for not actually hugging Murderbot. Disrespecting its boundaries would not have gone well at all.)

... anybody else humming Queen toward the end? Another one sure did bite the dust. Vindication for Arada's pro-animal stance.

Murderbot's head-tilt... I think it is having an idea. An idea involving disguise. Which calls back to Gurathin's story in the open, in a way. Spy, Murderbot, spy!

[fligniuz]

flig, would you or anybody else be willing to elaborate on the behaviours and things people around him said that made you think he's autistic? I'm just curious, you could delete after a while if you want to

hi ok SO. i made a post about this when i first started my blog that you can read here but honestly i’m just gonna type out a more thorough response because the post i made kinda rambles on idk😭i wanna stress that none of these things on their own are necessarily signs of autism, rather it’s the combination of all of these things together that strongly leads me to believe luigi is on the spectrum. these traits stand out the most to me:

minimal eye contact. i have seen a few people mention that this could very well be him following the advice of his prison/DP consultant (moskowitz i believe), and that’s always a possibility, but i personally think it’s more likely to be autism considering everything else i’m about to list

restricted interests. there’s not too much to go off of here but i do think his goodreads is quite interesting… there are clear patterns of interests in the books luigi has read or wants to read. for example, in 2022, he read several books relevant to back pain (there are many more on his want to read):

predictably, there are multiple books on computer science and math:

nerd ranch…🥺

aaand a bunch about tech as well:

lol

this pattern of getting “hyper focused” on a specific topic/having a special interest is common for neurodivergent people (especially if it’s something personally relevant to you—lots of autistic people have a special interest in autism itself, for example!) you can see his list of books he’s read here, and his want to read list is here. i highly recommend scrolling through this archive of luigi’s goodreads if you haven’t already—you can learn so much about him just from looking at everything he wanted to read

very expressive with his face and hands. i know this is the exact opposite of the stereotype but many many MANY of us have exaggerated facial movements and gestures as opposed to very minimal ones. autism is a spectrum for a reason! examples:

^ also notice here how he fidgets around a lot!!

this cute lil thing

(i hope you can kinda see what i mean from these gifs. this is one of those things that’s really hard to describe, like you know it when you see it, but as someone who’s also more expressive than not i see a lot of myself in him)

it’s possible he does this to overcompensate for/“mask” a more minimal and natural reaction (and i do believe he’s very good at masking), but regardless it was still one of the things about him that gave me pause

this quote (source):

i recommend reading the other post i made for an explanation of why this screamed autistic to me but essentially this is a very commonly expressed sentiment among autistic people across the spectrum, often stemming from our difficulties with social interaction and, in luigi’s words, finding a community of like-minded people. obviously we have different ways of expressing it but i guarantee that just about every one of us has felt this way at some point in our lives

and perhaps most damning (for lack of a better word) of all…

this substack luigi subscribed to:

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

…this:

i just can’t explain it like have you EVER heard somebody say this about a neurotypical person😭it’s mike so take it with a grain of salt (along with the rest of this post, because i don’t know shit!!!) but idk it stood out to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this pose:

AGAIN I CAN’T EXPLAIN BUT I SWEAR. WE SIT IN REALLY ODD POSITIONS LIKE THIS AND FIND THEM COMFY… ive always thought it’s related to our need for sensory stimulation?? but i honestly have no idea what’s up with it. i have hit this exact stance while playing with my toys or reading when i was little. like it’s not just the legs it’s the way the fingers are tucked under his foot too this picture is just so dear to me💔

SORRY for the novel ok i hope this gave you a good idea of why, i won’t write my whole disclaimer again—see other post for that—but to reiterate only luigi knows the answer to this (and he may not actually!! we don’t know, that’s my point) and i obviously do not want to armchair diagnose him or anything. i am autistic, many of my friends are autistic, and my understanding of autism comes from not just my own experience but lots and lots of research; this is all just stuff that sticks out to me and the vibes that i personally get from him, but this man is a stranger to me at the end of the day and i’m not going to say that any of this is definitive at all. just my observations💚

[dicklessthewonderclown]

Hello Mr. AI's biggest hater,

How do I communicate to my autism-help-person that it makes me uncomfortable if she asks chatgpt stuff during our sessions?

For example she was helping me to write a cover letter for an internship I'm applying to, and she kept asking chatgpt for help which made me feel really guilty because of how bad ai is for the environment. Also I just genuinely hate ai.

Sincerely, Google didn't have an answer for me and asking you instead felt right.

ok, so there are a couple things you could bring up: the environmental issues with gen ai, the ethical issues with gen ai, and the effect that using it has on critical thinking skills

if (like me) you have issues articulating something like this where you’re uncomfortable, you could send her an email about it, that way you can lay everything out clearly and include links

under the cut are a whole bunch of source articles and talking points

for the environmental issues:

here’s an MIT news article from earlier this year about the environmental impact, which estimates that a single chat gpt prompt uses 5 times more energy than a google search: https://news.mit.edu/2025/explained-generative-ai-environmental-impact-0117

an article from the un environment programme from last fall about ai’s environmental impact: https://www.unep.org/news-and-stories/story/ai-has-environmental-problem-heres-what-world-can-do-about

an article posted this week by time about ai impact, and it includes a link to the 2025 energy report from the international energy agency: https://time.com/7295844/climate-emissions-impact-ai-prompts/

for ethical issues:

an article breaking down what chat gpt is and how it’s trained, including how open ai uses the common crawl data set that includes billions of webpages: https://www.edureka.co/blog/how-chatgpt-works-training-model-of-chatgpt/#:~:text=ChatGPT%20was%20trained%20on%20large,which%20the%20model%20is%20exposed

you can talk about how these data sets contain so much data from people who did not consent. here are two pictures from ‘unmasking ai’ by dr joy buolamwini, which is about her experience working in ai research and development (and is an excellent read), about the issues with this:

baker law has a case tracker for lawsuits about ai and copyright infringement: https://www.bakerlaw.com/services/artificial-intelligence-ai/case-tracker-artificial-intelligence-copyrights-and-class-actions/

for the critical thinking skills:

here’s a recent mit study about how frequent chat gpt use worsens critical thinking skills, and using it when writing causes less brain activity and engagement, and you don’t get much out of it: https://time.com/7295195/ai-chatgpt-google-learning-school/

explain to her that you want to actually practice and get better at writing cover letters, and using chat gpt is going to have the opposite effect

as i’m sure you know, i have a playlist on tiktok with about 150 videos, and feel free to use those as well

best of luck with all of this, and if you want any more help, please feel welcome to send another ask or dm me directly (on here, i rarely check my tiktok dm requests)!

[delicateartisantrash]

I want to give you a hug so badly because that sounds lonely as heck.

yeah, sure, I don't think i'm gonna change any worlds overnight with my silly little post

but community IS here :P I've found it, and it's growing by the day, I am just so shocked that it's something i've even had to go looking under metaphorical rocks to find and nurture because it *used* to be an overflowing garden. I couldn't go anywhere online without seeing people converse and chatter and people posting stuff for fun because it was fun, and a side-effect of this was gaining 'followers' who liked the same fun you did.

For context, I'm almost thirty years old. I started using the internet when I was in middleschool, so I was about seven years old when I picked up an active presence online, and by active I mean the internet was more or less my social life because i had a weird upbringing and a lot of physical isolation from people outside of school/work. I was online way more than I should have been, and I zipped around all over the place. Tumblr was only one of the websites I participated on.

Things really have, indeed, changed a lot. Some things, for the better. Some things, i roll my eyes and sigh and wait patiently for the fads to run their course because eventually, people realize it's unsustainable and not satisfying, and come right back to what i'll call 'The Old Ways' or at least the part of the things of our past that *are* worth keeping. I've seen this pattern repeated by the former generations and the ones now.

Mostly, I think people at large are just shy and so convinced that they're going to fail, it's too scary to try and succeed (in the context of a social interaction, but that could apply in other contexts tbh).

idk how to word this properly but wrt the fanfic thing you reblogged earlier. Why do fanfic writers have such different expectations than any other content hosting platform?

Like lets take youtube as a point of comparison, Engagement like comments and likes largely exists to boost the works place in algorithm, thats why youtubers put in calls to action and other engament bait. Few with decent reach even read the comments and the audience shouldnt try to develop any weird parasocial relationship with the youtuber. Fanfic authors ask for likes (kudos, because the websites gotta use nonstandard language for some reason) and comments despite them not having any impact on an algorithm, and seem to want the audience to try and develop a relationship with the author based on tumblr posts like that one.

Why the radical difference in behaviour away from the norm? And honestly with all the (usually) metaphorical blood spilled online about parasociality why are authors really surprised that the audience tries to keep their distance as is best practice with any other content producer?

okay I am going to answer this as kindly and as calmly as I can and try to assume that you are asking this in good faith. because my friend, the fact that you feel the need to ask is, to me, The Problem.

[this is, for the record, in response to this post]

fanfiction writers are not *posting content.* (I also have reservations about engaging with the term "content producer" or "content creator" but let's put that aside for now, I'll circle back to it.) you say "they seem to want the audience to try and develop a relationship with the author" as though it is strange, off-putting, and incomprehensible to you, when in fact that is the point of writing fanfiction. it is a way of participating in fandom. it is a way of building community and exchanging ideas and becoming closer with people.

if authors wanted to solely ~generate content~ that would get them attention (?? to what end, the dynamic you have described seems to equate algorithmic supremacy as winning for winning's sake, as though all anyone wants to do is BUILD an audience without ENGAGING with them, which I cannot fathom but let's pretend for a moment that is, in fact, true) then like. if that were the case why on earth would they choose a medium in which they categorically cannot succeed and profit, because it isn't their IP?

you are equating two things that are not at all the same thing. to the degree that parasocial relationships are to be avoided, and "that person is not trying to be your friend they are trying to entertain you, please respect their boundaries" is a real dynamic -- which it is!! -- like. you have to understand that the reason that is true for the people of whom it is true is because it is their JOB. they are storytellers by profession, and they are either through direct payment, or sponsorship, or advertising, or through some other means, profiting off of your attention. i don't say this to be dismissive, many wonderful artists and actors and comedians and any number of a thousand things that i enjoy very much go this route but they do so as a *career choice.* and so when you violate the public/private boundary with them, you are presuming to know a Person rather than their Worksona. the people who work at Dropout or who stream their actual play tabletop games or who broadcast on TikTok or YouTube are inviting me to feel like i know them to the degree to which that helps them succeed in their medium and at their craft, but there MUST be a mutual understanding that that's a feeling, not a fact.

however.

a fanfiction writer is not an influencer, not a professional, and is not looking to garner "success." there is no share of audience we are trying to gain for gain's sake, because we are not competition with one another, because there is nothing to win other than the pleasure of each other's company. we are doing this for no other reason than the love of the game; because we have things we want desperately to say about these worlds, these characters, these dynamics, and because we *want more than anything to know we are not alone in our thoughts and feelings.* fanfiction is a bid for interaction, engagement, attention, and consideration. it is not meant to be consumed and then moved on from because we are NOT paid for our work, nor do we want to be. the reward we seek is "attention," but attention as in CONVERSATION, not attention as in clicks. we are not IN this for profit, or for number-go-up. there is no such thing: legally there cannot be. we are in this because we want to be seen and known.

like. please understand. i am now married to someone i met because of mutual comments on fanfiction. our close friend and roommate, with whom i have cohabitated for over a decade now, is someone I met because of mutual comments on fanfiction and livejournal posts. that is my household. beyond my household, the vast majority of my closest personal friends are people with whom I built relationships in this way.

you ask why fanfiction writers want THIS and not "the norm," but the idea of everything being built to cater to an algorithm to continue to build clout, as though the only method of reaching people is Distant Overlord Creator and Passive Receptive Audience being "the norm" is EXTREMELY NEW. this is not how it has always been!! please think of the writers of zines in a pre-internet fandom, using paper and glue and xerox to try and meet like-minded people in a world that was designed for you to only ever meet people in person, by happenstance, in your own hometown. imagine the writers of the early internet, building webrings from scratch to CREATE a community to find each other, despite distance. imagine livejournal groups, forums, and -- yes, indeed, of course -- comment threads IN STORIES -- as places where people go to *converse.* in the past, we had an entire Type Of Guy that everyone knew about, the BNF ("Big Name Fan") whose existence had to be described via meme because it was SO DIFFERENT THAN THE NORM. treating fellow fans like celebrities or people too cool for the regular kids to know was an OUTLIER, and one commonly understood to lead to toxicity.

in the past, I have likened writing fanfiction to echolocation. i am not screaming because I like hearing the sound of my own voice, though i can and do find my voice beautiful. i am screaming so that the vibrations can bounce back to me and show me the world. the purpose is in the feedback. otherwise it is just noise.

does this make any sense? can you see, when i describe it that way, why an ask like yours makes me feel despair, because it makes us all sound so horribly separate from one another?

perhaps I will try another metaphor:

a professional chef who runs a restaurant will not have her feelings hurt if you never fight your way into the kitchen to personally tell her how much you enjoyed the meal. that would, indeed, violate a boundary. professional kitchens are a place of work, and you have already showed her you enjoyed the meal by paying for it, or by perhaps spreading your enjoyment by word of mouth to your friends so they, too, can have good meals. you show your appreciation by continuing to come back. if a bunch of people sitting around randomly happen to have a conversation about how much they love the food, it wouldn't hurt that chef's feelings to not be included in the conversation. however: EVEN IN THIS INSTANCE, it is ADVISABLE AND APPROPRIATE to leave a good review! you might post about how much you like this restaurant on Yelp, and it would probably make the chef feel great to see those positive comments. but the chef doesn't NEED them, because the chef is, again, *also being paid to cook.* that's why she started the restaurant, to be paid to cook!

i am not being paid to cook.

i am at home in my own kitchen, making things for a community potluck where i hope everyone will bring something we can all enjoy together. some people at the potluck are better bakers, some better cooks; some can't cook at all but are great at logistics and make sure there's enough napkins for everyone; some people come just to enjoy the food, because that's what the party is for. and if I, as this enthusiast chef who made something from my heart for this reason alone, learned after the fact that a bunch of people got together in the parking lot to rave about my dish but no one of them had ever bothered to tell me while I sat alone at my table all night, occasionally seeing people come by to pick up a plate but never saying anything to me -- of course that would bother me, because I am not otherwise profiting off the labor I put in. this is not a bid to be paid, because if someone WERE to say "hey, great cake!! here's five bucks for a slice" i would say no, friend, that is not the point and give them the money back. i'm not trying to Get Mine. I am in it to see the look on your face. I'm in it so you can tell me what about it moved you, so that I can say back what moved me to make it in the first place. so we can TALK about it.

because what happened in the first place is this: one time I had a cake whose sweetness, richness, flavor, intensity, and composition moved me so much that I *taught myself to bake.* so I could see how much vanilla and sugar was too much, so I could learn how to make things rise instead of fall flat, so I could even better appreciate the original cake by seeing for myself the effort and talent and inspiration that goes into making one even half as good.

learning to do so is a satisfying accomplishment in and of itself, yes.

but I also did it because at the end of the day we should EAT the cake. and it's a lonely thing, to eat alone when a meal was always designed and intended to be shared.

so, to answer your last question: i'm not surprised, i'm just sad. because somehow two things that were never meant to be seen as the same have been labeled "content," and thus identical. and it diminishes both the things that ARE intended to be paid for AND the things that are not, because it removes any sense of intimacy or meaning from the work.

i hope you know i'm not mad at you for asking. but i'm frustrated we've come to live in a world where the question needs to be asked, because the answers are no longer intuitively obvious because we're so siloed.

[clutching-our-plurals]

Okay, very genuine questions here, for my systems who post a lot of information about their parts!

We are still newer to more interactive system spaces, and I see many systems who post a lot of personal information about their alters.

Stuff like names, ages, all that stuff. Even who is fronting at any and every given time that they post, whether with emojis or tags for whoever is fronting, or even signing off with their names. Or long intro posts about who all everyone is. It seems fairly common to me. We don't really do that. We don't often share names or ages, rarely even "system roles." Especially online, even in designated spaces.

So, I'm genuinely curious, for my systems that do post a lot of personal information about their parts:

What is the appeal of posting such personal things?

A more specific one for those who use emojis or name sign-offs in post, equally genuine and respectfully curious:

What is the appeal of letting people know who's fronting all the time?

Like, no shade, at all. I just really am very curious and I want to understand why someone might do that. Like, from a very genuine place of not understanding and wanting to understand just to... understand!

Oh, and a question to my fellow systems who do NOT share their information like this:

Why do you personally prefer not to share more information about your parts?

Our answer to that last question 👇

We don't always know who's fronting, we don't entirely know who all is in our head. So, that's one of the reasons we don't post much about this. We also have a very cautious frontmaster-

(it's what I've taken to calling her, but the term for what she is, it's kinda been coined as gatekeeper? But I think that sounds a little mean.)

And she doesn't really approve of us sharing information about our parts with just anyone. Not even people in our lives that we, or I, really love and trust and want to know. So, that's another reason.

We also don't have much of a headspace anymore, and still struggle with intersystem communication.