#i'm not trying to make this about me or about my religion... but some strangers sure fucking will

[grkuvus]

hey. non-jewish advocates for palestine. we need to talk.

PLEASE remember that jewish people are not the enemy. freedom and justice for palestine is not incompatible with protecting jewish people. anyone who tries to convince you that jewish people are standing in the way of freedom for palestine, and that something needs to be done about us, is an opportunist using palestine to target jewish people.

this goes ESPECIALLY for people who are not themselves palestinian or connected to palestine.

there are so many jewish people fighting for palestine's freedom, putting ourselves in harm's way, losing people in our lives because of our unconditional defense of innocent people living and dying in gaza. don't ignore that when you see people making sweeping statements about jewish people. don't ignore antisemitism masquerading as pro-palestinian sentiment.

we are not enemies. we are not on opposite sides. don't throw us to the wolves or excuse antisemitism in the name of the cause. so many of us fight for palestine - when you're confronted with antisemitism, please fight for us, too.

[kalena-henden]

Destined With You has me intrigued. There are things I like about it (mostly Rowoon and the mystery), things that annoy me (the bad co-workers), and things that confuse me. After 4 episodes, I finally feel like I'm starting to understand what the writer is trying to do.

However, Netflix strikes again with a generic drama title that is very confusing and doesn't capture the depth or meaning of the Korean title in the slightest. (Thank goodness Viki got Doom at Your Service first cause that title is fire, even if it's not literal. I'm still shaking my fist at Netflix naming very accurate Korean title, Forest of Secrets, the boring and bland non-specific Stranger. Just why?!)

The Korean title is 이 연애는 불가항력.

The first part 이 연애는 means 'this love'. But the final word is the Korean translation of the French law terminology 'force majeure' (aka major force) which they translate as 'irresistible force'. It's a clause that is commonly used in contracts that negates some or all of the terms of a contract when an 'act of God' occurs, like a natural disaster, which would make one or both parties unable to fulfill their responsibilities. This is interesting as it gives the real title multiple meanings.

The most literal translation would be 'This Love is a Force Majeure' referencing Shinyu's profession and him being a stickler for adhering exactly to the contract terms, including verbal contracts like the ones he has with the Hongjo.

The next translation is 'This Love is an Irresistible Force' which implies that this love is almost against their will. They can't help but fall for each other. Currently, we have a quite literal interpretation of this with Shinyu accidentally drinking the love potion and now having unwanted thoughts and emotions regarding Hongjo.

Another potential translation extrapolated out of force majeure is 'This Love is an Act of God'. This implies this love is outside of human control, like destiny created by God or gods, depending on your religion. This is where I think Netflix got their generic 'destined' title. Unfortunately that 'destined' title completely negates that this writer has our leads intentionally playing with words. Not only on a banter level but also testing the letter of the law with their verbal contracts, some which are intentionally made and others they've made unknowingly. Words carry weight in this drama; not just through their emotion or meaning but in a magically binding way.

What if casting the spells isn't enough to activate them? What if the spells need words of intent to activate them?

Even though Hongjo doesn't believe it yet, she is a shaman or witch. Her words alone opened the lock on the box that held the spell book. They weren't just any words; they were words that had deep intention attached to them. After day dreaming her crush was there for her in a time of need when she was home alone, she half pleads, 'Please, can you come?' A few days later, Jaekyung has moved into the first floor of the house she rents.

When Shinyu drinks the Love Potion, nothing happens. He treats her the same way he's been treating her when she barges into his office to try to take care of the person who ran into the flowered-potted median. Any discomfort he's showing can be attributed to the fact that he is the culprit who ruined the median she is ranting over. It does however remind him how dangerous his illness has become triggering his urgency to cast the Disease Curing Spell as soon as possible. It's not until after he sees that the Love Spell is missing from the book and tells her, 'Because if you get a boyfriend, it's thanks to me.' that he has his first heart-fluttering sign of love when she tries take the book from him. He doesn't seem to have any moral issues with her using the love spell and is even trying to take credit for it since he gave her the box. After he discovers that he mistakingly drank the love potion, he's only upset that he's the one who drank it instead of her intended target. But what if drinking the love potion wasn't enough? What if it needed to be activated by his words of intention? His intention was for her to get a boyfriend.

Old Shaman to Shinyu: 'You killed her. The owner of the bloody hand that caresses your cheek. Karma will swallow you and you will struggle in horrible pain. But all the pain and curses will end. Finally, the owner of the wooden box showed up.'

Now back to our title, 'This Love is a Force Majeure'. The longstanding family curse appears to have been caused by Shinyu killing someone in his past life and curses can be considered a contract that binds people to their bad fate. If a contract is made in perpetuity, maybe the only way out is a force majeure happening. Note that 'will swallow' and 'will struggle' are future tense, they hadn't happened yet. Karma definitely seemed to swallow him whole when he unknowingly drank the love potion. It's also interesting she said he will struggle in horrible pain. We've seen him in physical pain due to the curse, but what if mental and emotional pain are added on top of this due to the love potion. The majority of this show will likely be showing him struggling through these trials as he unpacks his past life to save his future. (Hopefully... *crosses fingers and side-eyes Heartbeat*)

It's unlikely that the Disease Curing Spell is enough. It might be able to cure him of the disease but only once the magical curse has been lifted. So both spells always needed to be cast in tandem to break his curse. It's not a coincidence that Shinyu was in extreme distress when he ran into the median that Hongjo had planted the flowers on at the exact same moment she was casting the Love Spell. It caused a ripple in their fate. The beginning jumpstart of their love which needs to grow strong enough to cause a force majeure to break the curse or curses. Since Hongjo may not just be lonely, but cursed with loneliness. The signs are there. Her family is all dead. She doesn't have a boyfriend. She doesn't seem to have close friends even though she's quite friendly. Shinyu suggested that she's the reason she is alone. The Old Shaman also pointedly laments that her god wouldn't allow her to be in a relationship. This story becomes richer if Hongjo has a bad fate to overcome for herself, not just to help the male lead overcome his, but one that must be overcome together.

I'll end this with a little poetic fun from Google translate and deleting the last Korean word in the title one syllable at a time.

이 연애는 불가항력 - this love is irresistible

이 연애는 불가항 - this love is inevitable

이 연애는 불가 - this love is impossible

이 연애는 불 - this love is fire

[fandomfluffandfuck]

related mostly to this, but also this, so... very tmi shit under the cut:

Normally, when I have tmi sex and/or scene stories to tell, I put them in the tags, but there's too much to say this time thus, a whole fucking post. No half hiding in the tags, lmao.

Last night was a goddamn religion experience. I swear to FUCK. I say scenes are godly in the most unholy way in my writing a lot and... yeah 😮‍💨

The first thing I did at the party was get my boots blacked, since I've always wanted to, and--Jesus Christ. I would have been completely chill with that being my only playing for the whole night because it was ✨️that good✨️

The bootblack that was there was criminally, unfairly good in so many ways. For one, my boots look better than they did when I bought them, and I do upkeep them myself. Secondly, he fried my fucking brain. Of course, I understood that bootblacking in a kink setting is a kinky experience and would be deeply sexual going into it. That being said, I was not fucking prepared for the bootblack to apply some of the shit he was using on my leather with his tongue. I was not prepared to have one of the leather belts that he had to work on wrapped around my neck to use as a leash to force me down closer to his level where he was at my feet so he could kiss me. With my chest pressed to my thighs, his hand at the end of some strangers belt around my throat, he kissed me, and smeared some of whatever it was he was using into my mouth, against my own tongue. I was not prepared for him to taste the leather of my boots, nor was I prepared for him to share the fucking taste (not to mention him asking if I wanted a second taste when we broke apart and me immediately going, "uh-huh," as if I were trained on command). 😮‍💨🥴 Oh. my. fucking. god.

I tipped the bootblack because, duh, and he playfully refused to accept it from my hand. Instead, he had me wedge the cash between the lases of my boots because he wanted to show off how he could untie my laces with just his teeth. He did. He fucking did. Then, he had me re-tie my own laces. I nearly fucking forgot how to tie my boots, I shit you not--and I'm pretty sure that was the point 👀

Okay, so, boots blackened and severely fucking turned on, after that I was like whatever the fuck comes up, I'm fucking good. I. Yeah.

I watched for a while. The guy who threw the party had a really big house with only a small part set as off-limits, so I wandered around until... I got approached by a different guy. I forget the exact words of his opener, and even if I remembered it, it would be nowhere as charming in text as in real life. Anyway, he was straight (ha) to the point and basically was, just, hey, you look like you're really light (for reference, think about pre-serum Steve but a tiny bit taller, I'm 5'6", not 5'4"), I bet you'd be perfect to suspend. And, oh, are you into that, by chance? When I said I'd never been suspended, he started to back off, but I was like, oh, oh no. You can't say shit like that to me and not expect to make me curious to try.

People.

I've tied other people up before, but I haven't been tied up myself in any real capacity--I've practiced shit on myself and gotten off, lmao. And certainly, I had never been suspended myself.

I have now.

I got fucking suspended.

There were anchor points in the ceiling of the basement, and we used them to their full capacity. The writer in me is, like, details details details, meaning I would fucking love to tell you what ties he did and everything but I don't fucking remember. He told me the names before we got into it so I could agree. But I don't recall in the fucking slightest, lmao. I just. Brain gone.

He did my legs (my calves to the back of my thighs) and arms (which were straight back behind me, tied together at the elbow and wrist, meaning that my arms were up toward the ceiling as I was facing the floor). (Eventually, he tied a rope around my torso at the small of my back, too, to help hold me up, that was later, though.)

But.

Before I was really suspended, I was on the floor, he had me on my back, legs folded up underneath me, arching my back to accommodate for the position and so my stomach and dick was very exposed, and he joked very casually--while standing over me, staring down and smirking, of course 🥴--about kicking me so hard that he'd leave the tread print of his boot in my stomach and. I think I died.

Fuck.

I really kinda wish he did kick me that hard 😮‍💨 I'm sure the pattern of the fucking workboots he had on would look great.

Anyway, then, later, I was not on the floor. At all. And as it turns out, I'm even more bendy than I apparently already look 💀

I don't really experience subspace in the same capacity that I experience domspace. I don't go as deep, for sure. And maybe that's why I prefer domming to some degree. That being said, suspension is probably the deepest I've ever gone into subspace. Like. That weightlessness. Every touch, meant to be stimulating--being groped or whatever--or not--like having his fingers slide between my skin and the ropes, checking to make sure nothing was too tight--made my entire body move and sway and twist. Yet, I absolutely couldn't move. I could not keep anything straight. He would touch me in one place and then suddenly be doing something else, somewhere else.

The rope he was using was sisal and holy shit. It's like jute but better because it's rougher and it hurts more. Like. Suspension obviously doesn't have to hurt. I told him I was all good with more than a little hurt, though. So. He made it hurt.

And I now have the announcment that I... I may be much more of a masochist than I thought 💀💀

I couldn't move, obviously, but I could strain against the ropes some and oh my fucking god. He edged me, jerking me off, before I came down from the tie and he swear to god I was groaning so ridiculously loudly by the end because I couldn't not strain and flex against the rope but that just made the rope dig even more into my skin. Every time I twitched it hurt a little more. Not gonna lie, I think the weightlessness and restraining and pain did more for me than the pleasure of a hand job 😮‍💨

It was incredible.

That fucking dom was incredible. He was so good at ties and suspension and so accommodating to my inexperience, listening but also creative enough to know where to push to give me more than I wanted.

Also. Because I was already fucking there and why not go zero to sixty, though, this is probably more like zero to hundred, lmao, when I came down from being suspended, he untied me, and then I gave my first blow job. It is exactly what I thought it would be, which is intoxicating. The smell. The taste. The weight of it. The power. The way he enjoyed it. Just. Yup.

I was totally fucking locked in the entire time the scene was happening, nothing else fucking existed, nothing else could have--but now that I'm out of it... I can't wait to turn around and have a sub that I can give head to in the same way. I love eating pussy, I really fucking do. It's about the heat, the wetness, the smell, the way they squirm, those noises, and the way it's so fucking easy to pull pleasure out of someone like that. And I just know sucking dick would be the same, doing it from the dom side, not the sub side. As a sub, don't get me wrong, it feels so fucking good to be used--aching, in pain, like, fucking throbbing but also totally limp, so all you can do is stay where they put you and be used. But, I just know flipped it'll be just as good and, maybe, for my personal taste, better.

Aftercare was done--that rope dom was fucking great (as was that bootblack). And before my friend, who I came with, and I left, we did little more watching, together, then headed home.

So, to simplify: first, all gay dungeon party achieved and successful 😮‍💨😮‍💨 Bootblacking experience successful and hot as shit. Suspension experience successful, also hot as shit. Giving a blowjob successful, hot, and in need of repeats.

Thanks for listening to my tmi tales, lmao

[apocalypticwafflekitten]

I Promise You, Bonnie, It's Okay (Part 1)

Ex-Catholic!John MacTavish x Ex-Catholic!Reader

A/N: I don’t know if this is canon, but I’ve seen a lot of people talk about Johnny being Catholic and it gave me this idea. This is extremely cathartic and self-indulgent, so I totally get if this isn’t up your alley. Just be nice if you leave a comment, please. Basically, this is ex-Catholic Johnny and ex-Catholic Reader. Johnny left the church a long time ago and he’s had time to heal, but the reader is just leaving. She’s trying to mend her relationship with sex and Johnny is there to help her work through it.  Update: I made the teeniest tiniest edit that added a small detail about the reader. Trying to help the next part make more sense!

Original Imagine/Summary Thingy: Catholic Guilt is one hell of a Beast to Bear

Warnings: 18+, No Minors, Mature Themes and Discussions*✨if you’re younger than 18 or have no age in your bio, I will not hesitate to block you.✨ Allusions to Religion (it's barely there in the actual story, but I want to put that warning here just in case), Discussing Sex (not explicitly), Guilt Associated with Sex, Johnny being the softest, gentlest person on the face of the earth.

*While this part doesn't contain explicit sex, there are still mature themes and discussion about sex. I'm also labelling this as 18+ since Part 2 will be sexually explicit

Word Count: 739 / Divider By: @cafekitsune

Masterlist / Next Part (1.5) >

“It’s okay to want this.” Johnny says, stepping toward you so he can take your hands in his, gently entwining your fingers together.

You huff out a sort of sarcastic laugh, “It feels like it’s not. I mean, I know, logically, that this is fine. Sex is fine and it’s natural and there’s nothing wrong with it,” You pause, swallowing the lump that’s starting to build in the back of your throat. “But in practice, it’s…different.” 

“I know what you mean, bonnie. I remember that feeling; after I left.”

“It's just…any other time I’ve had sex, I just…there’s this horrible guilt that feels like it’s eating me alive. I feel like I’m not allowed to enjoy it. Like I’m not allowed to want it. So I have hook-ups and one-night-stands and don’t ever sleep with the same person twice. I don’t have to stop and think about it that way. It’s just a quick fuck and that’s it.” You stop to breathe, taking a moment to collect yourself before continuing, “But anytime I hook up with someone, no matter how good the sex is, or how good of an orgasm I get, in the end, I’m left alone, in some stranger’s sheets, looking up at a ceiling that isn’t mine, listening to the sound of a running sink and at this point, turning on my own sink makes me feel guilty.” You stop for a moment to figure out what you’re trying to say.

Johnny just holds your hands and listens, letting you vent everything that’s been on your mind the past few weeks. He rubs his thumbs across the backs of your hands and hopes that the small gesture provides you with some sort of comfort.

You heave a sigh, “I’m tired, Johnny. I want more than quick, rebellious fucks with people I don’t know. I’m tired of burning out and fighting off tears. I'm tired of never making the first move. I’m tired of feeling guilty for something as stupid as sex. I just want….” You take a stuttering breath, squeezing Johnny’s hands. “I just want to be okay with it. I just wanna have sex without feeling like a terrible person.” 

Johnny’s brows crease and before you can notice his expression, he’s pulling you into the tightest hug you’ve ever felt in your life.

“Yer not a terrible person. Not in a million years. I know that’s what it feels like. I know all your life you’ve been told that you’ll burn for wanting anything close to sex. But I swear to you—I promise you, bonnie, it’s okay.” Johnny has to stop to take his own shuddering breath before continuing, “You’ll never be a bad person for wanting sex. Or enjoying sex, or thinking about sex or experimenting with sex. It’s not a moral thing - not the way the church thinks of it. Wanting sex doesn’t decide whether you’re a good person or a bad person. It just means you’re a person. One who happens to want sex. That’s all.” 

Johnny can feel you nod against his chest, but that’s not quite enough for him. He pulls back a little, just enough to tilt your head up and meet you eye-to-eye. There’s a heavy resolve in his eyes, something serious – something personal. 

“Make me a promise bonnie.” 

You nod, staring deep into his endless ocean eyes. 

“Promise me that if you ever feel bad for wanting sex, you’ll tell me; If the guilt starts eating at you, you’ll call me. I don’t care if it's in the middle of the day, or right after a hookup at three am. Call me. You shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of guilt. And I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you don’t.”

You nod, but again, it’s not enough. 

“I need to hear you say it bonnie. Promise me. Promise you’ll call.” 

Johnny’s eyes are so wide. He looks almost…scared? But at the same time his face says that this is the most important thing he’s ever asked of anyone. So, with a quiet understanding of the weight this holds for Johnny, you answer him. 

“I will Johnny. I promise. I’ll call.” 

Johnny rests his forehead against yours, content with your answer. He fiddles with your fingers, feeling how they bend at the joints and how soft your skin is.

“Johnny?”

“Yes bonnie?”  

You cradle Johnny’s face with your own hand. 

“You shouldn’t have had to deal with that kind of guilt either.” 

[edens-passing-if]

Eden's Passing is a 16+ game made in Twine by me, Doc, and is my first attempt at making an interactive fiction game!

Genre: Primarily Fantasy and Comedy focused with a smidge of Mystery and Horror elements. Do tell me if a separate catagory fits, please!

Warnings: Trauma, Bodily Injury without feeling it, Body Horror in general (more will be added as time goes on, these are what I'm currently certain off)

Demo: In the works!

Alone in a land you can't recall and stuck at the bottom of a seemingly endless ravine, the start of your journey isn't a pleasant one. Body slowly crumbling away, memory missing, and seemingly stuck with a stranger intent on calling you a name you can't remember, your attempts to leave seem fruitless until they finally offer a helping hand. Hopefully with no strings attached.

Set in the world of Nyr, you're just a lost soul trying to figure out who you are and what happened to you.

Features, added or intended:

☆ Fully customizable MC (name, hair, skin color, personality, etc.)

☆ Romantic or Platonic routes, Poly included.

☆ Long Crocodile. You'll see. ♡

☆ Learn more about the world and maybe save it, maybe launch a salamander at someone.

☆ Diverse cast of characters, ethnicities, religions, etc! (Please do tell me if anything's not accurate enough, it's fantasy, yes, but I am using some real-life ethnicities and such as basis!)

☆ A lot of lore. A lot. I made a map. I will do more than just a map. It's inevitable.

Eden's Passing isn't romance focused but, those inclined towards it, does have multiple routes with it.

Zacharie, M, 36(RO)

A 4'11" man with spiky green hair and red tinted glasses. Adventurers clothing, torn at the edges and taped to his body on his limbs, cover most of his skin. What you can see of his skin, primarily his face, has stitches spanning the length and width. No one is allowed to touch them. Beyond that, he seems nice, even when he mutters insults at passing plants or argues with books. But his skittishness towards others is concerning, especially the glint of pure terror he sometimes shows. It's typical to see him hovering around Cassian, primarily either hiding behind him or riding his shoulders.

Solo OR Poly route with Cassian or Florian.

Cassian, M, 29 (RO)

At 6'6, he's the tallest of the group. Long black hair drapes down well past his hips, sometimes being used to hide his eyes from others. Old yet well cared for armor is his ordinary choice of clothing, no matter the situation. Quiet and melancholic, it's hard to catch him smiling at much of anything. Despite that, he's the first to jump into a fight to protect his friends. One of the few people to understand Zacharie, he keeps a firm eye on anyone that might pose a threat to the smaller man. A bit of an enabler, he will turn a blind eye to the more playful deeds his companions wish to take.

Solo OR Poly route with Zacharie.

Florian, Gender Selectable (M/F/NB), 25 (RO)

At 5'3", they're the second shortest of the group. Blond curly and short hair, styled like an odd pixie cut, clashes against the bright red coat they drap over themself. Two antennae stick out from their scalp, twitching at any stimulus. A butterfly bow, which sometimes flaps on its own when Florians distressed, keeps it from falling off. When they're not being pestered by Zacharie or Wynn, they're actually the most sensible of the group. A bit of a motherhen, they do their best to prevent the others from getting into trouble. It's a thankless job, and they aren't even getting paid for it.

Solo OR Poly routes with Wynn or Zacharie.

Wynn, Gender Selectable (M/F/NB), 23 (RO)

A 5'9" elf that's joined the group alongside Florian. Long, pointed, and pierced ears flick every so often, parting their short, light purple hair. Clad in a cape that trails in the air and an outfit that shows off a concerning amount of chest, they aren't the shyest with showing skin. Long pants that hide even their boots cover their legs, yet never get dirty as they drag across the ground. A bit of a flirt, they aren't the type to take much seriously. It's common to see them, Zacharie, and Twig up to no good, typically with Wynn at the lead. A natural born leader, one might be confused why they follow MC's lead, even they seem at odds with that fact.

Solo OR Poly route with Florian.

Twig, NB, 26 (RO)

Looming over at 6'4", they tend to forget just how tall they are. Long purple hair ends as their tail begins, the fluff at the end matching their hair. Thick and curly when short, it covers up their eyes from the view of others. 5 horns sprout up from their scalp, imitating a crown of sorts, and range in size from a few inches to just two. Clad in purple and blue robes that are breathable yet skin-tight, they've had Zacharie modify it to properly accommodate their tail. Out of the group, they remain the friendliest even in the face of adversity. It's... hard for others to tell whether they're simply naive or just too forgiving, but regardless of that, they remain the first to lend their hand when others need it. A bit of a goofball as well, it's easy to catch them trying to pick the funnest option first. Quick to trust and quicker to befriend, one might wish to spare them from the cruelty of the world.

Solo route

???, NB, ??? (RO?)

A figure that stands at 5'10, they're your savior from the pit you woke up in. Long hair, starting black and quickly fading to a bright red, flows from their scalp like tendrils. It flows as if hit by a breeze constantly, regardless of airflow. Clad in only a white robe tied shut at the waist by a sash, it's easy to notice the gaps in their skin. They never answer when it's brought up, leaving you wondering just what has saved you from the ravine. Quick to anger, you'd almost think they're unpredictable if not for the consistent causes and phrases. Regardless of who you are, they insist your name is Eden. Regardless of their affection towards you, they refuse to tell you who they are. They insist you'll figure it out.

Solo route.

[sunilys2]

"THE PROPHECY" Kim Sunoo [ Chapter 3 ]

Materlist

Pairing: cursed!Sunoo × godness!reader

Synopsis: On a birthbed, a second-born baby of the cis male gender is cursed according to his village's beliefs. A pact is made by his parents in search of prosperity and glory, they believed that the divine goddess would bring to the baby the end of the catastrophes caused by the curse, good omen and carnal luxuries from the reaching of age, condemning his son to a wonderful life until the inevitable destiny, a peaceful end on his deathbed. However, in every agreement there are two sides and some consequences.

Genre: fantasy, strangers to lovers, romance.

Warnings: mention of religion and beliefs, pacts, curses, angst.

Note: grammatical errors, english is not my native language.

As stunned as Sunoo's parents were, they couldn't do anything about it. The boy's coming of age birthday is today, there's no way to change that.

After the appearance of the goddess, they accepted their fate and decided to enjoy the last moments with their beloved son, pretending that nothing had changed in their lives, as if he wouldn't leave soon.

The birthday would be celebrated in the Kim family's humble home, everything was ready and beautiful. The boy was as excited as ever, happy to be able to celebrate another year of life, he helped with the decoration and preparation of the special meal that he would enjoy with his family on this important day.

- looks delicious! - he laughed sweetly, sitting at the table, admiring his small feast.

His parents smiled slightly, his sister was happy, his grandparents too. And especially Sunoo, he was radiant tonight.

- my beloved grandson is becoming a handsome adult. -His grandmother said proudly and the boy laughed.

- everything looks so good, thank you for waiting for me for dinner, I think I was late. - a vibrant and unfamiliar female voice was heard, everyone looked towards her, a pretty girl who was standing in front of the wide-open entrance door.

Everyone was silent, Mrs. Kim remained static, with wide eyes and a cold body, yet the unknown woman sating in an empty chair.

- who are you? - asked Sunoo, he was really curious. Why was this beautiful woman, whom he had never seen before, there to celebrate his birthday?

- my name is ___, it's a pleasure, sweet Sunoo. Congratulations, happy birthday. - you smiled sweetly.

- thank you very much... - his voice came out as a whisper, his cheeks pink like flowers in spring.

Silence takes over again, smiling, you stare at the boy hungrily, without looking away or feeling embarrassed about it. You make him really nervous.

- I thought you would come later...you know, we are celebrating now. - began the mother.

- I decided to join this celebration, after all it is a special date, sweet Sunoo is coming of age. - you decided to look her in the eyes. - I'm not welcome?

- no, it's okay, forgive my wife. - the father interfered.

You stood up, walking slowly around the table, calmly analyzing the expressions of everyone there. You stood behind the boy, smiling at him when he decided to look at you over his shoulder. You touched his silky hair.

- I didn't come to disturb this special moment, I'm also not a monster that will harm Sunoo. - you started.

- I came so that he could get to know me, so that you would know that I am not an evil being, I am not a threat, let that tension go away.

The boy didn't understand, but remained silent as he felt the soft touch of your fingers in his hair.

- look Sunoo, from today onwards you will leave with me, can you understand? I will give you everything you deserve, you will live with me and you will have something completely different from what you have today.

- what do you mean by that...? - he hesitated, a little scared and confused.

- I happen to be in love with you. - you smiled sweetly, when he fell silent, trying to absorb the information. - You were born mine, did you know that? If you don't know, your parents certainly know.

You lowered Sunoo's upper robes, just revealing his shoulder.

- do you know why it has this brand? Because you are sealed with the mark of a covenant. You understand? You were born and soon became my boy, this brand says so.

- how could I be yours...? I am not an object. - he pulled his shirt back, hiding his shoulders, with a nervous look on his face.

- no, it is not an object. You are the sweetest boy I have ever seen in all the millennia I have lived, you are a person, even though you sometimes seem like a treasure... - you calmed him.

- there is a very old prophecy, a pact made by your ancestors, it is something much bigger than you can imagine. Calmly you will be able to understand everything, but peacefully I ask you please, please come with me. Above all, Sunoo family members, let me lead you to happiness. -His eyes shone as you explained yourself.

Everyone was shocked, but they were softened by the brief explanation.

The night seemed to be long, but everything went well.

Right after all this speech, you were able to celebrate the boy's party with his family, you ate and congratulated him.

Her presence there was enough to be strange, but as the minutes passed everything seemed to fall into place. Despite not understanding everything perfectly, Sunoo included you in his celebration as if he already knew you before, he could feel that no matter how strange you were, you were good.

He could tell by looking into your eyes that you were there for something very serious, and also that you wouldn't hurt him.

Sunoo just decided to accept you there, he made you feel that his presence was pleasant and satisfying for him. Something you didn't expect, since you thought it would be completely the opposite.

The celebration was cozy for you, but soon everyone retired and everything was tidy, the end of this day was approaching, after all it was already late at night.

Sunoo's parents hesitated, but they understood that this is what he wanted, he wanted to be able to be alone with you, so they decided to withdraw and let the two of you talk.

- you said you're going to take me away - he starts, looking at you, as you sit in the living room.

- Why would I go with you? And if I went, where would I go? It's suffocating to think that I will have to leave my home.

- I know it seemed scary with the words I used, I apologize. I am a goddess, as I said, and we would go to my divine realm. I need you Sunoo, I've waited so long for this day...

- What do you need me for? I can not understand. - you sigh, blinking your eyes precisely and opening them again.

- to quench my thirst, my desire to have you, to make you mine. I am a hungry and ambitious entity, I recognize. But know that nothing will be bad for you, because I am nothing more than your slave... - you sigh - my love for you only grows, you would be such a good boy for me.

- you want me...? But why? I don't understand!

- I don't understand either, I just feel this way, let me make you my perfect boy, let me fulfill all your desires, you will have everything you want.

- okay, I'm not going to oppose something that's sealed. Just give me time to say goodbye and I'll come with you soon. I really don't like seeing you begging, a goddess shouldn't...

- thank you for accepting - you interrupt him - that makes me very happy. It will be as you wish, you have a working day, now I need to go, good night sweet boy.

You smile sweetly at him, disappearing in the blink of an eye, leaving him alone.

[arkiliastuff]

Prologue - In a Concrete Jungle

Noah Sebastian x OFC (Aurey)

(pictures edited by me. Originals url linked on the pictures.)

A/N : I thought about this one for a while and, even though I have a lot of other fanfics that are waiting to be finished/written, I wanted to share this one in particular with you :D It's been on my mind for months, the lore maturing in my head. It's going to be a LOT different from what I usually write but I'm trying things and despite the dark mood in this story I hope you'll enjoy it as well ! :D

Warnings/Tags : Strangers/Enemies to Lovers trope, violence, blood, post-apocalyptical universe, cyber-futuristic vibe, "no god, no religion" vibe (I don't mean any form of disrespect in any religion), mention of trauma, death, loss, drugs, mental and physical abuse, trust and abandonment issues. (Just in case MDNI please).

Disclaimer : I haven’t read the comic book “Concrete Jungle” written by Noah Sebastian and illustrated by many cover artists such as Nicola Izzo, Jeremy Wilson and many more, so I don’t know much about the lore and the universe. I just got inspired by the song and the few panels of the comic book that I saw about it. The rest is a pure work of my imagination and it’s not related to anything official. Nothing is canonically official. This is totally fanfiction. And so this is how I pictured the world in the song “Concrete Jungle”.

~The little bean taglist : @valiantroeagleangel @talialovesmiw -> ask me if you want to be tagged :D

━─━─━━─━「₪」━━─━─━─━━─━─━━─━「₪」━━─━─━

She walked there, in this desolate landscape, with a strong determination. Two girls who seemed to look like her friends were following her, looking behind them briefly. Probably afraid of someone or something that will come after them. After all, they went out without authorization. They went out in this no man’s land, caused by gangs and mafias. Many civilians had perished because of this war. The survivors were hiding underground, in the subway. The reason why they went outside was because one of them, a girl with glasses and blue eyes, forgot her necklace at the church where she always went to pray. So after complaining to her friends about her precious loss, the strong-willed brunette who was among them decided to go and get the necklace back. The two other friends eventually followed her even though they were feeling nervous about disobeying.

“If we hurry, we will be back in no time” She said, trying to reassure her anxious friends.

And so, just like the bold brown-haired girl said, they arrived at the place. The church had been bombed. The two girls felt sad about the destruction, but the leader didn't seem to be moved by it. Instead, she was more focused on her mission, looking for the necklace, while making sure nobody would come to arrest them. She was in hypervigilance, almost looking paranoid. She looked everywhere under the seats and chairs that were still there until she saw something shiny. She reached for it and then wiped the dust on it. It was a crux with a silver chain. 

“I found it, Faith.” She stated, calling for her friend.

The latter one walked towards her, analyzing what she found before realizing what it was.

“It's my necklace ! Thank you so much, Audy !” Faith replied happily, using the usual friendly nickname for her friend.

The latter one just nodded in silence, her focus back on her group and looking for their second friend.

“Where is Daisy ?”

The two of them looked around the ruined church before they saw the red-haired girl who was near some candles next to a shrine of prayer. She lit up a candle and prayed in silence for their sake. Faith joined Daisy, lighting up a candle as well while Audy was watching them, starting to get annoyed.

“Come on guys, we cannot stay here too long.”

“Just a few more minutes.” Daisy replied.

A few seconds later a breeze came through, extinguishing the timid flames on the two candles. From this moment, Faith and Daisy stood up and stopped praying, turning on their heels at the same time towards Audy.

“We’re done.” The first one said.

“The Lord has heard our prayers.” The second added.

“What ? Already ? But you just lit the candles a few minutes ago” Audy replied, confusion in her eyes.

“It is the way it is. It’s probably a good omen” Faith said.

“Wait.. Let me just light the candles again.” The brunette said sheepishly.

As she was going slowly to the shrine, about to light the candles with another one, both of her friends widened their eyes in shock, attempting to stop her.

“DON’T !” Daisy yelled.

“DON’T DO IT, AUDREY ! You’re disrespecting His words !”

The long browned-haired one stopped her movement in the air, the spark just above the candle’s wick reaching it slowly but surely. Then, she looked at Faith and Daisy, an angry and dead gaze in her dark eyes.

“Even if I lit up those candles again, do you think it would change a fucking thing for what happened to our city ? To our families ? To our friends ?” She replied, clenching her teeth together as she spat her words like venom, anger getting the best of her, before she continued.

“No, it wouldn’t. Don’t take that fucking breeze as a sign from your Lord, ‘cause you two know better that, if He wanted to help us, He would have done it already. We are responsible for our own downfall. For our own misery. And no Gods will ever help us. Only the demons that you’re afraid of will answer us because they're close to what we are.”

After that, she saw the shock on her friends' faces, trying to reach out to her and yelling at her that she was irreverent by saying those words. It was the shock before the sound of something falling as fast as lightning just dropped on the ruined church. And then everything exploded. Bricks of the building were thrown away at Daisy and Faith’s head, knocking them out immediately. Audrey got hit as well, feeling her blood flowing from her face before blurring her vision. The last thing she saw was her two friends on the ground, blood running from their heads. Then, it went completely white.

━─━「₪」━─━

Aurey woke up, sweating all over her body as she was panting, trying to gain some air. She put a hand on her forehead, trying to wipe the sweat away and checking it. There wasn’t any blood. She sighed in relief but not too long. She knew it couldn’t be just a dream.

“This wasn’t just a nightmare” She whispered to herself, knowing too well this situation.

She stood up, got her gear on her and packed her stuff together before leaving the spot where she slept. She knew she shouldn’t have slept there. 

It was a small cave of collapsed buildings parted together which were composed of cables, metal pieces of broken engines everywhere. 

It could crumble any minute. But she took the risk anyway, as she felt this one was more safe. She didn’t know how long she slept but she was aware it was late. Once she got out, she covered her nose as she smelled an heavy and toxic smoke. It was the smell of somewhat burned vehicles and trash cans not that far away. It was, probably, another threat from a gang who were arguing again in the city.

She put her customized respirator on, breathing again. Then, she started to climb up the ruins, reaching for a higher spot to get a better view. She climbed a few minutes after finding a window, which gave a great opening view from below. She took her binoculars out of her pocket and started to look around. 

Through it, Aurey saw a usual wildfire in the city, on her right. She could barely hear the sound of gunshots. A lot was happening and she hoped her teammates could handle it while she went patrolling on her own. Suddenly she saw something blinking, in the corner of her left lens. She turned a bit more to her left and saw a black car entering the Nameless City. She had never seen a car like this before. This was the first time that she had witnessed new people arriving. Who could they be ? And why were they coming into this hell hole ? She made a mental note to herself to keep an eye on this vehicle and the people who were in it.

Meanwhile, Noah was lost in his thoughts as they were passing through the barbed wire gate of the city. He was just getting bored of the trip, having no idea why they got a call to come here. His partners and best friends in the car told him it was a well-paid mission, but he wasn’t really convinced by it. They had to do some cleanup as they were told. And given the sight of the city it seemed this town needed it. What was left of the police authorities were just broken cars, with no more tire or windows. They probably run away from all the chaos, just to survive somewhere else. Just being out of this mess. Noah kept staring through the window, his chin in the palm of his tattooed hand, just looking at all the clutter those crumbled buildings had made.

“A real concrete jungle…” He muttered.

Then he heard a howl. He was taken by surprise, not expecting to hear such a sound in this kind of city. He listened again, opening his window just to hear it more clearly. Another howling. It wasn’t human. It sounded more like an animal.

“ What was that ? Did you guys heard that ?” He said, his eyes widened as he couldn’t believe his ears.

"Heard what ?" Folio asked, not really paying too much attention to their surroundings.

"A howl. It sounded like a coyote. Or was it a wolf ?" Noah continued, his ears attentive to any other sound.

But the howling animal had stop. He still had no idea what his friends and him were getting into but he promised himself to investigate this strange city.

[winterarmyy]

An important message to all

Please stop and read for a moment.

Dearest readers,

Just a gentle message from me. I got this ask a today and I just want to remind you that if you don't like or agree with what I write, or you don't like me in general, you can block me. If the contents of my work doesn't sit well with your morals or views in any way, you can block me. And as return, if I find you being rude to me, I can block you as well. As I did exactly that to this nony.

At first, when I read the first lines of the ask, I was totally cool about answering it because you know, I am basically a stranger. You don't know about me at all so it's fair for you to ask of my situation. I mean, I can be a ceo of a company and you still wouldn't know.

I was already crafting the answers in my head, until my religion was brought up, until my family was insulted;  And I really don't appreciate that.

Sure, you can insult my writing or me as a human being, regardless of my religion, and I would take it like an adult. But, insulting my faith? My father, my brother, my future husband that I haven't even met yet? That is disrespectful. And I don't need this type of people in my life.

To be clear, I am not autistic nor I am trying to be misogynistic. Which reminds me, why would anyone make that comparison in the first place anyway? I am fanfiction writer. All works are fictional. The characters and the scenarios within the work are fictional. It does not translate or convey any influence relating to my religion or beliefs at all.

My inspirations has always all come from movies, books, songs, arts that I've enjoyed and some might be a bit too twisted for anyone to digest. And there is nothing "cute or sexy" about writing violence in the first place. That scene was meant to be disturbing, to trigger some sort of fear from my readers. Not to make them think "aww yinn is so cute for writing this". No. And I'm sorry if any of you sees it that way. Perhaps, it was my horrible writing skill that have failed you.

When I started writing, I was scared of posting it anywhere until i read some tumblr posts about how I should be proud of my work and that was the reason I start sharing them to this particular community. It was with the hope that they would appreciate it without judging where I came from or what my background looks like. So please, don't disappoint me. Don't make want to quit writing all together; because it would be the lost of joy in my life.

And, I would love to remind all of you to be kind to one another. The difference in the color of a person's skin, their body shape or weight, gender or sexuality, the God that they prayed to, should not be an excuse for you to be unkind. Respect each other. If you can't, then remove yourself from the situation. As simple as that.

With that said, from this moment on, anyone who approach me with any kind of disrespect will be blocked by me immediately. I may be soft most of the time, but I simply do not tolerate this kind of behaviour.

Thank you staying this far.

Until then, stay gold everybody.

Yours, Yinn 🤍

[the-hole-in-terzos-shoe]

Premier Amour

Terzo x Fem!Reader

TW: smut, running away, murder, blood, pregnancy

Word Count: 18.4k

Medieval Terzo is finally here!!!! I've been working on this for.... A month now? I've lost track, but I'm stoked to share it with you.

I'm not a historian and also it's just like a fantasy AU so I'm sorry if there's historical inaccuracies, especially around religion, marriage, ceremonies, language, geography, the feudal system, whatevs. I'm no William Shakespeare 😂 just let me have my cliche romance in peace. But if there's anything I can improve, please let me know, I love to learn things ❤️

This is the Terzo I picture for most of the story. And this is one of my Cavaliere Terzo inspo arts!

"What a beautiful pendant," you admire the metal work that the local silver smith has on display in the little bazaar in the middle of town.

"Ah, yes, that's one of my favorites. Beautiful emerald, innit?" the merchant engages with you.

"Sì, it would look bellissima on la signora," a stranger interrupts. You turn to see him, just taller than you, dressed in a black linen cloak, removing the hood from his ear length raven black hair. He looks quite pale to be from Italy, but his accent is too accurate for him not to be. His bare face, clean of facial hair indicates that he might only be a little older than you; his dimples on his cheeks and chin are strong, and he look quite handsome. And his heavy black brows give him a natural scowl over his… mismatched eyes?

Your eyes lock with his, "Yes," you practically whisper, "thank you, sir."

He closes the space between you, his rugged riding boots scraping across the gravel beneath his feet. The mysterious man holds out his hand, and you offer him yours without a second thought. Something about him is so alluring. His eyes flutter closed as he presses his lips to your knuckles, and when they open again, there's something fiery in his gaze. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, bella mia."

And just like that, he's gone, off into the crowd like nothing happened. You exchange a look with the shop owner, both equally shocked by the encounter. After that, you decide maybe it's time to head back home for the day.

You quickly stop by the local baker's tent to grab a few pastries and fruits for the journey back, but as you walk on the outskirts of the bazaar towards the trail you always take, an arm slips itself under yours, hand gripping tightly against your sensitive skin. Whimpering, you try to pull away from whoever is, when you hear that Italian accent ringing in your ear again, "Don't scream. Act normally if you want to live." His other hand slides around your waist and leads you off the trail and into the trees, deep into the thick of the woods.

"What do you want from me?" You finally question him once out of earshot of the marketplace, fire and frustration building in your belly. Jerking your arm away from him only for his grip to return a second later, he turns you, pinning your back against a tree, making you drop your fabric wrapped goods. "Hey!" you yell at him.

"𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘩!" he commands of you.

"Why should I?!" You attempt to garner anyone's attention.

You hear the unmistakable sound of metal being unsheathed before feeling the cold blade against your throat. It got you to shut up, eyes wide with horror. "You're not who you pretend to be, dolce mia."

"W-what do you mean?" you mutter, his face only inches from yours.

"You traipse around like some common little girl from town, but I see the way you hold yourself: proud, but taught to be like a delicate flower. Exactly the way they want you to be to find a suitor."

"On what grounds do you make these assumptions?" His remark had hit you right where it hurt, as if he could read you like a book, and you were angry again.

"The silk petticoat peaking from under your skirt… Commoners can't afford silk."

You couldn't believe he would talk about your undergarments with such a smug look on his face. "It was a gift! My family saved up for quite some time for it!"

He lowers his eyes to your chest, lewdly raising his eyebrows as his finger traces down the center of your cleavage, hooking on the outer layer of your dress and pulling outward just an inch or two. "Did they save up for the matching corset, too, bella mia?"

You stare at him in shock, wanting to strike him down, but also feeling an unfamiliar kind of heat coiling up inside you. Attempting to push him away with your free hand, he snatches your wrist, hiking it above your head and pinning it to the tree, the knife still pressed against your neck.

"If you're going to try to dress like a commoner, I would suggest making certain your disguise is more… thorough," he says pointedly. "So, who are you then? The daughter of… Hmm, a lord? High up land owner?" He inquisitively watches your body language, knowing you won't admit to anything. "Is daddy a lawyer? No? An ambassador? Politician?"

Nothing from you, only persed lips and furrowed brows.

"Ahhh, dare I say it? I must have some lady of the high court under my steel blade." His joke isn't funny to you, so you just keep staring him down, "Perhaps a handmaiden? No… She wouldn't want to escape. But who would? Someone who's never known anything different than the silver spoon…" It's like he's playing with his dinner before devouring it. "You must be la principessa."

You cut your eyes away from him, and he knows he's got you.

"There she is, la principessa, just wanting a taste of the world around her," he teases you.

"What do you want from me?" You cut your eyes back at him.

"Just one thing," he moves impossibly closer to you. "A kiss… da quella tua dolce bocca." (A kiss… From that sweet mouth of yours.)

His eyes glance down at his prize, and you know there's no stopping him. At first contact, his plump lips are surprisingly soft against yours. He moves slowly, giving you several pecks, not unlike the ones you'd experienced while being chaperoned around with your suitors.

That's when he presses his chin to yours, and your mouths drop open together. You feel his hot breath on your face before his mouth closes around yours possessively, tongue demanding entrance. You let out a soft whimper and your tongue dances with his much more skilled one. The knife drops to the ground and is quickly replaced by his fingers massaging over the skin roughly. His other hand leaves yours to scandalously claw at your waist, urging your body closer to his, and your hand falls from the tree to tangle in the base of his hair. Your other hand explores his firm chest, desperately pushing past his cloak to feel him through less layers.

In a matter of seconds, he's turned you into some sort of harlot, abandoning all of your knowledge from finishing school, making your legs weak as he sucks on your bottom lip. Suddenly, his fingers squeeze around your windpipe, but not in a way that would hurt you, rather it draws a lengthy moan from you.

Feeling intoxicated by his presence and the lack of air, you pull away from him, resting your head in the crook of his neck and leaning against his chest, trying to catch your breath. Both of your hands relax on his warm torso, his arms now wrapped around you protectively. You dare to glance up at him, and you're met with his soft gaze staring down at you, still getting used to that strange white eye.

"Who are you?" you whisper to him.

He chuckles deeply, "Your salvation… But for now, you can call me Terzo."

You aren't sure what that answer meant, but you decide to try out his name on your tongue.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a silver chain dangling on one of his fingers: the emerald pendant from earlier. You stand up straight, putting a bit of space between your bodies.

"Think of me when you wear it, sì?" He commands more than asks, as he latches the clasp around your neck. Your fingers feel the precious stone on your chest, while Terzo bends down to gather your pastries and his knife.

He hands the tied up package to you and makes a move to walk away.

"Wait-" you stop him. You lean up on your toes and give one one last sweet and lingering kiss. "Will I see you again?"

"Sì, do not worry, tesoro," he places his lips to your forehead then disappears into the woods.

• •

You wake that night after seeing flashes of him in your dreams, and you're warmer than normal. The heat between your legs pools stronger than you've ever felt before. The pulsing of your blood so strong, it almost feels like someone is touching you there.

Squeezing your thighs together, you try to sit up and ignore it, opening your window to let in the cool night air.

"…touch…" It's like a whisper in the wind. Your hand rests at your pelvis, balling your night gown up, fighting the sensation between your legs, like a slow, languid stroke back and forth, just enough to make you want more. But you shouldn't. It's debaucherous to even speak of these things in the little bubble that is the castle you live in, let alone to partake.

Another whisper, "please yourself for me, bella mia…" You must be losing your mind. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸?

You look around, seeing everything in your room is as usual, but the aching in your core grows stronger. You feel your blood rapidly filling the area. Ever-so-gently, you grind against the sheet beneath you, and feel immediate relief at the sensation. "Ah…"

You crave more, need it even. Grabbing a pillow and shoving it under your weight; you rock your hips back and forth, toes curling as your fingers come to rest on the emerald pendant once again. You notice it glowing and nearly vibrating with energy.

"Yesss, cara, just like that," you hear him again, intoxicating you.

You rip off your night gown, leaving you bare under the moonlight as you soak the plush fabric that scrapes against your folds.

From his campsite deep in the woods, Terzo sits on his knees in a position similar to yours as his hand works over his hardened member, teasing at his own tip to drag him closer to that precipice he enjoys so much. "Touch yourself, dolce mia, please," he begs into the open air.

Back in your room, you follow his command, fingers diving between folds you'd never explored before. Upon finding a little bundle of nerves that's quite pleasing, you cry out in pleasure. Flicking over the spot again and again has the most euphoric feeling building in your pelvis.

Terzo holds both hands out in front of him, balled up onto fist for his cock to push in and out of, wishing it were you. His jaw hangs slack at the thought. "Will you come for me, tesoro?"

For the first time you address him, unsure if he's able to hear you, unsure if this is even real, "I- I think I am…" Your fingers work faster chasing that feeling higher and higher when crash! You feel the shockwave over take you, your fingers flying from beneath you to brace yourself on the windowsill. "Terzo!!!!" you scream his name out the window as your climax rips through your body for the first time.

Hands pumping fast, Terzo spills his seed all over the ground before him, cock twitching and sending long white streams through the air. He chuckles to himself, as he's pretty sure he heard your scream echo through the woods.

• •

Days passed and he was the only thought on your mind. You were careful to only wear his pendant in the night so no one would question where it came from, but also so whatever 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 was wouldn't happen again in the broad daylight. You weren't completely sure the pendant had anything to do with it, but best to be safe.

Your father, the king, had you meeting with more suitors. You were past the age that you should be married; you should probably even have a couple babes by now, but perhaps you were progressive minded in thinking that you weren't just some livestock to be sold off for breeding.

The more time passed, and the more kisses that you had to share with these boys--Terzo kissed you like a man should, like a lover would--well, they all paled in comparison to it, and frankly you were starting to miss him. Although, no doubt, you feel insane for missing a man that held you at knife point just to give you a kiss… The best kiss of your life.

As you wait in the garden for the next suitor to come along, you figured you'd spend an hour with him, then onto the next--𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

You stare at the man before you like you'd just seen a ghost.

"Ma'am, this is Marquis Lucien Sauveterre," the chaperone announces.

Terzo takes your hand and kisses your knuckles just as he had in the bazaar that day. "C'est un plaisir de faire votre connaissance, ma belle." (Pleasure to make your acquaintance, beautiful.)

Your head is spinning.

"Merci," he hands the chaperone some gold coins, and waves them off.

"What are doing here!!?" you whisper shout at Terzo once the chaperone returns back inside. "𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯 𝘚𝘢𝘶𝘷𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘦…" you mock the fake name you'd been given, rolling your eyes.

That devious smirk pulls at his lips. He was dressed much nicer today, as were you; clearly he was hiding some sort of noble background as well.

"How have you been, mia principessa? Did you enjoy yourself a few nights ago?"

Your eyes dart up to his, and he looks you over as if he knows what you look like naked. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴… 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵.

"Anyway, I won't be bothering you long. I came to deliver a message: there's a big tree with a nice canopy in the middle of a wheat farmer's field not far from here, do you know the one?"

You nod your head; you go there to read sometimes.

"Meet me there tomorrow, sì? I'll be waiting for you." His hand cups your cheek and he kisses you quickly, a tease compared to what you know those lips can do. "I think about you every day, too, cara mia. I can't get you off my mind, but you knew that would happen when you kissed me the way you did," he guilts you with a grin.

"I believe you were the one who kissed me, sir. Held me up with a knife for it," you sass him.

You hear a low groan near your ear followed by, "Let me taste you once more, principessa."

With that, your lips crash into his with a fire to rival your previous encounter.

"Brava ragazza," he compliments you, breathless, "So responsive for me."

You blush at his praises.

"Now, when I leave here, you're to act like you despised me. You want nothing to do with me or my people ever again, sì? And then I'll see you when the sun rises again." He gives you a wink and another kiss on the forehead before leaving you to face more of your stupid suitors.

• •

The next day, you dress in your common clothes again, you hadn't yet acquired a cotton petticoat or linen corset.

You slip out of one of the back gates, letting your handmaiden know you were going to the bazaar again. And heaven knows you don't know what possessed you, but you didn't wear anything except your thigh high stockings under your petticoat.

"How did things go with your papà?" Terzo asks, languidly laid out on his side under your reading tree.

"Well…" you sit next to him crossing your arms and propping them on your knees, feeling the cool breeze rush up your skirt. "No more French suitors," you coyly reply.

He bursts out a short laugh, leaning up to sit closer to you, "Mia principessa was convincing then. Eccellente." Terzo kisses your temple.

"Terzo," you address him directly.

"Hm?"

"Who are you? I know your name, but I don't know anything else. The thought of you drives me wild, don't you think I deserve to know you at least a little bit? You clearly know a lot about me."

"Sì, sì, you are right," he holds your face in his hands, admiring all the little details as if committing them to memory. "I cannot tell you who I am or what I do. You must believe me when I say this is for your own safety."

You think on it for a moment, chewing your lip. "At least tell me something about yourself. Something not many others know."

"Let's see… I like meeting with beautiful women in secret," he giggles and kisses you.

"Terzo…" You search his two toned eyes.

"Okie dokie, tesoro. I like to partake in the company of beautiful people; I don't enjoy waking up alone. I'm sure it's obvious that I'm far away from home, and that's because I'm in search of something to take back with me. And I write music; sometimes you might catch me at the pubs singing for others."

Yes, it was cryptic, but you felt like he was as honest as he could be.

"Hmmm… What's your favorite flower?" you question him.

"White roses."

"And what do you think of before you go to sleep?"

"Home."

"What is home like?"

"Old, but it's full of life," a genuine smile comes to his face at the thought.

"Thank you…" you whisper to him.

"For what, bella mia?"

"Honesty. Your honesty," you lean forward, giving him a chaste kiss.

His fingers weave into your hair, urging you to lean your head back, where he then starts peppering kisses across the soft skin of your jaw and neck. You think kissing him has to be your favorite thing in the world.

Your arms find a cozy spot on his waist so you can let him work on you. Traveling towards your shoulder, Terzo's fingertips slip your sleeve from your shoulder, exposing more skin to him. He leaves a playful nip at the end of your collarbone, earning a squeak from you.

Hands find his shoulder blades, scratching at his black tunic as he lays you back on the grass, hand cradling your head. His legs tangle with yours while his mouth worships the cleavage spilling from your dress.

With your fingers threaded in his raven colored hair, you pull his attention back to you, wanting his mouth on yours. As he situates himself above you, his hand hooks your knee on his hip. When that same hand starts to creep up your thigh under your petticoat, you feel something hard start to press against your pelvis.

Fighting every want in your body, you put a hand on his, stopping him. "We shouldn't…" Embarrassment washes over you. "I just, it's- I'm supposed to be pure for when I get married."

"Cara, you do not owe me an explanation. If you don't want to, then we don't, sì?" He sits you both up, looking you right in the eyes to let you know he means it.

You lean into his chest for a hug, and he pulls you into his lap, leaning back against the large shady tree. "I hate it… The future of my father's kingdom depends on me remaining untouched. All of it for a man I won't want to marry."

"Don't say that, dolcezza, you may meet someone and really love them." He tries to encourage you. "Besides, your virginity shouldn't matter to anyone, especially not some man. It doesn't matter to me."

"It doesn't?"

"No, of course not. It's just some foolish ideal of the Christian church to keep women controlled." You were a little taken aback, surprised at his progressive thinking and at his blatant dismissal of the church that your father was a conduit for.

"Well, I still don't think I'll find any suitor that I love," you look down at his chest, trying to find the words, "not when you're the one who occupies my heart."

"Don't say that, principessa…" he says as if the wind has just been knocked out if his chest. "You deserve someone much nicer than I."

"Nicer? I don't want nice. All of those stupid suitors are nothing but nice! I want passion, the fire that I feel with you, I- I want 𝘺𝘰𝘶. And you make me feel CRAZY for it! I hardly know you, yet you're all I think about. When I wake up in the morning I long for you to be there; when I try to sleep at night, I want you in my arms."

In that moment, he knew he'd found what he'd been searching for, the thing to take home with him: you.

Looking down at the emerald worn proudly on your chest for him, he admits his feelings, "Ti amo, principessa." No one had ever wormed their way into his heart as fast as you had. He still had much to reveal to you, and he couldn't wait to be open with you, but he knew he had to get you somewhere safe before that could happen.

You give him a few short kisses before standing up in front of him. After kicking off your shoes, you work the laces on your dress with expert fingers, loosening them and letting the linen fabric as well as your silk petticoat fall to ground around you.

Terzo stares up at you, drinking in the sight of your soft thighs hugged by the plush white stockings, your bare sex, and the curve of your waist that your corset forced onto you.

"Make love to me," you ask of him, biting your lip.

He stands up on his knees, approaching you to wrap his hands around the back of your thighs, and sucking a lovebite to your hipbone. "I would love nothing more, bella mia."

While looking up at you, he delicately kisses your inner thigh, right next to your core, making sure you're still okay with everything before placing a sloppy open mouthed kiss to your folds.

It's unlike anything you've ever felt before. It's wet and it's hot and it feels like heaven. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥… Without realizing, your hands tangled in his hair, pulling harshly and drawing a moan from the man beneath you.

"Oh goodness, I'm sorry if I hurt you…" You let go of him.

He opens his eyes to look at you through his lashes, "You're not going to hurt me." He takes your hand and puts it back on his head before going back to work, flicking his tongue happily over your clit.

Within seconds, your legs are shaking from him having total control over the bundle of nerves. "T-Terz-zo…" you stutter out.

He stops what he's doing and takes your hand in his, "Do you need to lie down, amore?"

You nod at him, and he helps you onto your back, but not before spreading his cloak out on the grass for you. Terzo picks your thighs up, squeezing tightly so your feet rest on his back, before getting right back to work. And with his next move, he has you seeing stars. His lips surround your clit and suck on it harshly, making you mewl for him to keep going.

He drops one of your thighs to tease your entrance with a finger, pressing in lightly to test the waters.

"Mmm! More!" you command.

With that, he slides a little deeper, slowly curling his finger over and over again, his mouth still sucking on you in just the right way.

"I- ah, Terzo, I'm-" your face is scrunched with pleasure as your orgasm reaches you.

Terzo can help but think about how fun this will be with you so sensitive as he helps you through it. After a few minutes, he sits up, still keeping that finger in you, working you slowly.

"Ready for another one, tesoro?" he asks.

"Another what?" you inquire innocently. He holds up his free hand and wiggles his digits. "Oh! Um, yes, please."

He slides out, slicking up his second finger and gingerly going back in. "You cum very easily," he states like it's the most casual thing in the world.

Feeling the stretch of his two fingers, you reply, "I do?" Being filled like this is completely foreign to you; it may take some getting used to.

He nods his head with a half smile, "It's cute."

"Oh," you feel heat come to your cheeks, and it's not from lust.

"Don't be ashamed, cara mia. I enjoy making you cum, and I'll make you do it again, and again, and again." He thrusts his fingers in time with his words to make his point.

You whimper at his motions, and he lays down next to you to make out with you yet again. Legs lifting in the air showing how needy you are for his fingers inside you, the feeling of his digits curling has that fire in your belly burn smoldering.

Hungrily, you start to toy with his tunic, needing to see more of him. "Terzo…"

His eyes find yours, the sun peeking through the canopy of the tree catching his pale face so beautifully. His hair is all messed up, falling over his eyes, irises blown wide with lust even in the bright daylight.

You reach out, fumbling with his hardness through his pants. "I need you," you pant out. In your mind, you knew there was no going back after this, but there was no stopping you either. Your desire for him was stronger than anything you'd ever felt.

He pulls his fingers from you, popping them right into his mouth; he wouldn't want to waste it after all. Next, his tunic flies off, pulled over his head hastily, exposing his chest, belly, and shoulders to you. Curious fingertips take in the expanse of skin, only serving to make you want more. He works at the ties on his trousers, fidgeting with the knot.

"Here, let me," you sit up, nimble fingers making quick work of it, just like your dress.

Seeing him lain bare is like a work of art; one that belongs in a museum for centuries to come. The long legs, the curve of his hip as he lays on his side, the hungry look in his eyes…

"Your turn," he whispers before pouncing on you, undoing the snaps on your corset before discarding it. Flipped on your back yet again with your lover atop you, his mouth explores your newly uncovered breasts. "Bellissima…" he grumbles against your chest.

With your legs wrapped around his hips, you pull him down so he's flush against you.

"Impatient, principessa," he kisses a trail up your neck to your jaw, "Always getting what she wants." He kisses you once on the lips, leaving you wanting more, "It will be no different with me; I'll give you everything your heart desires." And with that his lips meet with your again, soft at first before shifting back into the passionate rhythm you normally share.

Fingernails claw at his hips, still in desperate need to feel him inside you. As if reading your mind, his hand guides his hot girth through your slick folds, collecting every drop. He lets out a shaky breath and bites his lip, "Are you ready, tesoro?"

Already keening at the feeling, half from lust and half from anticipation, you nod your head fervently, "Yes! Yes, Terzo."

Not wanting to make you wait another second, he rocks his hips forward in a small motion, just pushing in a tiny bit. Terzo watches your face intently, waiting for any sign that he should stop. Slowly, he pulls back and slides right back in, a little deeper this time, "Bene?" he whispers to you.

"Mm-hmm," you confirm, getting used to the way he fills you.

He kisses your cheek with a hand on your hip to keep you still. As he starts going deeper, your face scrunches up, and he stops instantly, searching your face for what to do next.

"Just stay still for a moment," you caress his cheek, "It feels so good, I just need a moment." You feel his cock twitch inside you, making you realize how much he must be restraining himself to make you comfortable. You nod your head again, "Move," you demand.

Terzo doesn't hesitate, languidly pushing and pulling his hips, not even concerned with trying to go further for fear of hurting you. He lets out a soft groan at the pleasure washing over him.

"Deeper, I want to feel all of you," your hand snakes up between his shoulder blades lightly scratching.

He lifts his eyebrows as if to ask if you're sure, and you nod once again. With that, he adjusts his body to get back on his hands above you and makes sure your legs are properly wrapped around his hips; you even hook your ankles together so you don't go anywhere.

The change in angle alone feels wonderful, but when he thrusts into you solidly one time, you feel him sheath his himself into you fully. You gasp out at feeling his full length, the burn of it quickly melting away as he moves excitedly against you.

He stays on his hands for just a few more pulses of his hips before falling to his elbows so he can caress your form. "How is that, piccolina?"

"S-so good," you stammer.

"Sei così bella," (You look beautiful,) he pants hotly into your ear as his hand glides down the side of your body to grip your ass. His head nuzzles into the crook of your shoulder as he moans out his satisfaction.

Peaking over his shoulder, you watch his body move on top of yours: knees spread and toes digging into the ground to keep close to you, hips bouncing showing off the delicious curve of his ass and hip bone. It was a sight you could easily get used to.

Suddenly you feel another wave of pleasure creeping up on you, "Ohhh, Terzo…" you drag out his name.

"Sì, vieni per me, amore," (Yes, cum for me, love,) he grunts. You're not entirely sure what he's saying, but all it takes is a few strokes of his fingers on your center to have your tight wet heat clenching around his cock. "Sì, sì, bellissima, così bella…" (Yes, yes, very beautiful, so beautiful…)

You whine for him, hardly feeling like you're on planet earth anymore as you come undone at his hands. Things slow down for a brief period, as your lover lets you cool down from your high; he presses soft kisses to your collarbone as you stare up at the leaves in the tree.

Next, you certainly don't know what came over you, but you were pushing him up and to the side, and Terzo reacts quickly, holding your hips tight to him as he's rolled into his back. He looks genuinely impressed with that move as you instinctively begin to ride him, hands clutching his chest as you lift your hips and drop them.

The man beneath you helps guide you with a strong hand, and his other finds your throat again, squeezing lightly at your windpipe. You let out a small moan of anticipation at his actions. "Not quite yet, tesoro," he winks at you.

"Ughh," you groan only half frustrated. Legs more tired than you'd anticipated, you start sliding yourself back and forth rather than up and down, and it's pays off more than you would've expected as his length continuously grazes over that spot his fingers found earlier. It has that now familiar feeling building back up again, and you furrow your brow and bite your lips trying to stave it off.

"Don't fight it, cara mia, trova il tuo piacere con me…" (Find your pleasure with me…) And of course, as he promised, his hand returns to your neck, squeezing just the right way to make your head feel lighter than air. It only serves to heighten the sensations you feel and sends you toppling over in your release, literally.

Terzo holds you close as you crash down on top of him, cunt encircling his hard lust so deliciously. He cries out as his release explodes inside you, your name the only word on his lips, which is pretty impressive for a guy who knows at least two languages and never shuts up.

You can feel the warm liquid filling you; it makes you squirm on top of him. Returning the many kisses from earlier, you take your turn to adorn his pale skin with your love, as you both hold each other tightly.

Rolling off of him with shaky thighs, you bundle up in his large cloak as best you can, feeling more exposed now than before; it would certainly need to be cleaned later. He drags you right back over to him, cuddling you to his chest and kissing the top of your head. "Dolce mia, you could bring the Devil to his knees," he remarks, still catching his breath.

You look at him like he'd just said the most scandalous thing you'd ever heard, perhaps it was the most scandalous thing you'd ever heard, and he laughs heartily from his chest. A small giggle escapes you, and you offer him some of the cloak cuddle under with you. "You're gonna have to teach me all those Italian phrases, although maybe I don't wanna know what they mean," you blush at him, making him laugh again.

His lips find yours in a loving kiss, "There will be plenty of time for that, amore mio."

• •

The next time you see him, you have a ring on your finger and tears in your eyes.

"Stellina, you must dry your eyes. I can't stand to see you like this," he pulls you into a hug, his cloak wrapping around you once again; it always smells so much like him.

You had made a regular routine of meeting near the bazaar or under the reading tree every few days, whenever you weren't seeing suitors. Much to your dismay, the courting was over since your father selected a fiancé for you.

"Come, sit with me," Terzo whispers to you. He sits with his back against the tree and you in his lap, another habit you'd fallen into together in the short time you'd known one another. "Tell me what happened, cara mia."

"He was tired of waiting…" you sob, and Terzo knew you were referring to the king. "He said I was making the kingdom wait too long, and since relations between his and Lord Vogel's lands haven't been ideal lately, he's betrothed me to the man's son! I'm nothing more than a chess pawn to him!" You lean against your lover's chest, letting the tears flow.

"Amore, you are so much more than a simple pawn," he kisses your head, running his fingers through your hair repeatedly.

You sit up, looking in Terzo's eyes and cupping his cheek. "I don't want to marry him. For me, there is only you. I would give it all away if it meant I could have my life with you."

"Tesoro… Don't say that. You love your father, you're committed to your kingdom." How he wished he could whisk you away, but deep down he would feel so guilty for taking you away from everything you'd ever known.

"I do love my family, but I haven't been happy, not since I was first made to start seeing suitors. I know everyone thinks I'm just some stupid girl, but nothing has shown me the corruption of royalty and the blasphemous use of religion to play their little games better than being courted. They play games with people's lives, even the ones in their own homes!" You pound your fist against his chest and he clasps it in his, "Is that why you left your home? It makes me want to leave mine."

"No, cara mia. My home isn't like this. Everyone is accepted for who they wish to be, and everyone has the freedom to leave if they'd like. Even those in the royal blood line," Terzo explains.

"So you're from a kingdom too?" you ask.

"Eh, of sorts, but we don't call it that."

"I've never heard of a place like that. Sounds wonderful," you look down, wringing your hands together, fidgeting with your new ring. "Say, have you found the thing you're supposed to return home with yet?" you ask, referring to the first bit of information he ever told you about himself.

"Sì, I have, Stellina," he pets your hair lightly, playing with the ends.

"Well, then why haven't you gone back?" You look up at his mismatched eyes, the ones you never get tired of looking into.

"Because, ah… I found something here that feels like home, amore," he puts his hand over your heart, indicating that he's talking about you.

You put your hand over his, "Do you think… Could I be accepted where you're from?"

"Sì, we accept all, tesoro, no matter their background."

"Would you take me there?" you whisper.

Your lover diverts his eyes and remains silent.

"Terzo?"

Turning his eyes back to you, he has a painted expression on his face, like he's completely torn about what to do. "I fear you would feel like not more than a caged bird there, as well."

"Would I not be allowed to be with you?" you worry out loud.

"No, tesoro, we'll be together. I would never let anything take you from me," he takes your hand in his.

"If we stay here, my father will take me from you. I'll be sent off to another land and made to have someone else's babes," you remind him.

He leans his head back on the reading tree, sighing a deep breath, "I'd like to give you the choice, cara, but you have to know what you'll be involved with."

"Okay."

"I'll have to forgo some details, because it won't be safe for you should you decide not to return with me, but know that I will tell you everything when I can," he warns.

"I trust you, Terzo."

He takes in another breath, nervous that what he has to say will scare you away. "I'm to be the figurehead of a covert organization," the language sounded very practiced, not like how he usually speaks, "We seek out those who desire acceptance, freedom from the systems around them, an escape from corruption. When I return, I'll be expected to take a partner, just as you face, Stellina. Which is why I set out in search of love," he starts to sound more like himself again. "Cara, should you return with me, I'd like you to be mine. I know it would feel like you're trading one arranged marriage for another…"

His words make you realize just how similar you are, how he faced the same issue you did, and how despite it, you still found one another. "Amore," you try the new language on your tongue, "you're not only offering me a choice, you're offering me liberation… What was it you said so confidently in the woods that day? That you would be my salvation? Well, then… Free me."

That fire in your eyes had come back to him, the thing he loves most about you; you may be a princess, but you had some real fight in you. "Anything for you, principessa."

You chatted for the rest of the afternoon; what looked like casual talk between lovers was really planning and plotting for how he would get you out of the city, away from civilization, and slip quietly across the country side back to Italy.

"When do we leave?" you ask him with a warm smile. You straddle his lap now, fiddling with the edges of his cloak.

"Not for a few days, cara. You'll need a horse. I'll have to trade for one." He twirls your hair on his finger.

"We have horses at the castle, I could just take one," you offer.

"No, if they come looking for you, which they will, they would recognize one of their own horses, sì?"

"They would," you look down, feeling dumb for the suggestion.

He scoops your chin in his hand and kisses your nose. "It pains me to say it, tesoro, but you will have to cut your hair. Anyone could recognize your beauty."

"It will grow back," you bite your lip playfully and lean your forehead on his. "Hmm, what's this?" you ask, slipping a piece of paper from the lining of the cloak.

For a moment, he stiffens up like he wants to take it away from you, but he decides to let you read it… Except it's all in Italian.

"What does it say?" You look at him with innocence.

He takes the paper from you and clears his throat:

"Alessandro,

The halls of the abbey haven't been the same without your spirited presence. We wish you home soon, but no one understands more than I how you need this time away. The world is much bigger than we may know, especially in our little fortress here at home. Some may never find the love that you so desperately desire, but I will pray every day that I see you not return to these grounds until you have it. It will pain me not to see you each and every day, not to hold you close to me even though it makes you squirm for freedom, but this is a journey you must make for yourself and for your future love.

Your mother, Felìcita"

He's not sure why he felt compelled to share it with you, but he felt there was no need to hide anymore.

"And this letter is yours? I thought your name was Terzo?"

"Sì," he huffs a small laugh at you, "it is. Terzo is one of my names, but Alessandro is my birth name. No one calls me that except mia madre." He smiles foldly thinking of her.

"Oh," you pause for a moment, taking in all the little details you'd just learned about him and where he comes from. You can't help but imagine his mother as a loving and caring woman, something you hadn't known since losing yours. "Alessandro," You lock eyes with one another at the use of his name. "Ti amo… Is that how you say it?"

He smiles broadly, giving you a quick kiss, "Sì, I love you too, principessa."

• •

The task at hand is simple: sneak out of the castle just like you do all the time, even a few times at night, but now it was for forever. There would be no returning.

You scan your suite one final time, silently thanking the walls for harboring you and all the feelings you'd cried, screamed, punched into them over the years. Of all the places in the castle, this was your favorite; however, it was also the place that kept you hidden away from the rest of the world.

Sliding your engagement ring off of your finger, you leave it on the bedside table. It would be obvious that you ran away, no signs of struggle, just a bird free from the cage. You clasp the pendant Terzo had given you around your neck, immediately feeling his energy wash over you. Whatever he had done to that necklace, you couldn't explain.

Finally, slipping into your darkest cloak, a deep maroon, and picking up the bag of things you'd need: warm layers, extra riding shoes, and your mom's bracelet that she'd worn on her wedding day to your father. Quickly taking a peek out of your high up window, you see a few guards on rotation, some look asleep, others just wandering around. You had rested up as much as you could the last few days, knowing you had a long night ahead of you.

Taking a few pebbles from a small plant you had in your room and shoving them in your pocket, you close the window and leave the room, not only locking the door behind you, but breaking the key off in the keyhole. The longer it took for them to see you were gone, the better.

Sneaking down staircases and through back corridors seemingly lost to time, you made it to your usual back door. Cracking it open slowly, you scan to see where the guards are: none in sight, and your exit gate is just a few paces away. Stepping out into the cool night, you hear two guards chatting around the corner. Hiding behind a stack of barrels, you launch a couple of pebbles in their direction, and they ping off of a watering trough nearby.

As expected, it grabs their attention and they saunter over, completely unaware of your presence. Taking your opportunity, you quietly run over to the gate, flipping the latch as silently as possible and squeezing out, opening it only a little. Once on the other side, you try to even out your nervous breathing and quietly click the latch closed.

You take one last look up at the castle before turning to walk away; you had to walk while still in earshot of the palace, but once you are far away, your feet start to fly, carrying you fast and hard toward your lover. Holding the pendant against your chest, you feel his pride swelter in your chest.

Breathing hard as you run past the farmer's wheat field, you nod a final goodbye to the reading tree, warm memories of the spot flashing in your mind. You make your way towards town, near the bazaar was a tavern where Terzo would be waiting for you.

Perfect timing too, as the raven haired man exits the bar, you approach, stopping near the brothel by the stables. A few ladies of the night wait around to draw in what would be their pay for the evening, and one of them compliments how pretty you are.

"Alrighty, fellas, it's time for me to call it a night," he says to the two guys on either side of him, all hanging onto one another drunk. He spots you and gives you a wink.

"Planning to sneak off and bed one of the harlots over there?" one of the guys jabs at his side.

"Sì, sì, I think I've got my eyes on one," Terzo chuckles.

"Aye, hopefully she's good," the other guy says as your lover separates himself from them, making his way over to you.

"Oh, she is," he mumbles to himself.

As he approaches you, swiping a hand through your hair and tickling your chin, one of the bar guys calls out, "Aye!!! That don't look like no common whore." 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘵. They were onto you; perhaps your disguises weren't as good as you thought.

Hesitating for a second and looking at Terzo with wide eyes, you jump right to action, bending over and lifting your skirt, gathering the fabric to show off your leg. You unhook a couple of garter clips, sliding one of your stockings down exposing the flesh of your thigh and giving the man before you the most sultry bedroom eyes you could muster.

Terzo responds with a low whistle and a shit eating grin, waving the other guys off before leading you back behind the brothel. You try to hide the giggle that works its way out of you, "I'm not sure what came over me, I just thought it was the best way to get them off our trail," you excitedly explain as Terzo presses you up against the wall, lips crashing into yours.

His body pressed tight against yours, giving anyone that might still see you the impression that he wanted to give off. "Brava ragazza, bella mia, I think you fooled them all," he praises you hotly in your ear.

Your fingers tangle in his black locks, and you attack his lips again. "Tutto per te, amore mio," (All for you, my love,) you tell him, you'd stolen a book from the kingdom's library to practice your Italian, but don't worry, you made sure to put it back before you left, not leaving any trace as to where you would be going.

Terzo growls against your lips, frustrated he can't take you right here and now. Once he's sure those guys went back inside the pub, he drags you by the hand over to his horse--a gorgeous midnight black. Lifting you by the hips, he sits you up on the horse's back, who lets out a huff. "Oh hush, bella ragazza, it's only for a little while," he scolds the horse playfully, giving her nose a scratch.

As Terzo hoists himself up on the animal, you catch the eye of the lady that complimented you earlier. She holds a questioning look on her face, so you throw a finger over your lips, silently asking her to keep your secret. She nods slowly at you, waving her ornate fan a few times in front of her face, a signal telling you to go while you can.

You nudge your lover's side, telling him it's time, and you cling to him tightly, riding side saddle in front of him, as he whips the reins, and you disappear into the woods.

• •

The first few days of travel would be the hardest. A few miles into the woods, Terzo would meet up with the horse he'd found for you, a beautiful dappled stallion, and from there you would ride separately. You would ride through the whole first night; it's important to make as much distance as possible as early into the trip as you can, because it will mean more distance between you and the knights that search for you.

You will catch naps and food as often as you can, but you will move almost constantly through small towns, fields, woods for about two to three days. When you get your first real break, setting up camp deep in some forest, Terzo will cut your hair and bury it, leaving no trace of your locks; he will also rub some dirt in your hair in an effort to change the color and texture even if only a little. And then you will move some more.

Everything went exactly as your lover told you it would. You were tired, exhausted really, from lack of sleep, having to take shifts to listen for danger, when all you really wanted was to hold him close and drift off. The smell wasn't great; you certainly weren't used to spending extended time like this outdoors with no bath. But you are happy.

Happy to be free from a marriage you didn't want. Happy to be by Alessandro's side; you'd really grown to understand one another well, especially when you are having to survive the elements and possible danger lurking at every corner.

"Alessandro, look! A stream!" you chirp happily, riding horse back, sun spilling through the trees

The use of his name made his lips quirk upward; he liked that you'd made a habit of it. "Sì, we should refill our cannisters," he points out.

"It looks so nice, amore, deep enough to step in. Do you think we could stop just for a quick bath?" Your eyes beg him.

As much as he didn't want to waste a moment in your escape, he knew it would make you feel better. He nods his head and leads the horses over to the running water.

Within seconds, you're dismounted and shedding layers of fabric. It was a nice warm day, and you planned on soaking it in, at least for the little while that you could before heading out again.

Terzo chuckles at you as you stand in your undergarments before him.

"Coming in, lover boy?" you tease, unsnapping the top few buttons on your corset, squeezing your cleavage together nicely.

"I shouldn't," he looks you up and down, biting his lip to hide his mirth.

"Oh, but you should. You smell just as much as I. Together we're probably worse than that horse's ass," you throw over your shoulder as you disrobe the last of your clothes, and stepping into the stream.

Terzo watches you candidly, as he refills your drinking water supply. Watching as your wet, naked body glistens and sparkles in the sun.

You dip your head in the water, fingers struggling to get used to the shorter length of your hair as you loosen the clay that tangles your locks. Terzo will insist on reapplying it, but for now, it's nice to let your hair down, so to speak.

Speaking of the sneaky bastard, he'd already slipped out of his clothes and was joining you for a quick dip. "Mmm, hello, cara mia," he greets you, wrapping his arms around your frame, bringing you close to him.

"I thought you weren't coming in," you whisper jokingly.

"You know I can't resist you like this, principessa," he kisses your cheek and ear a few times.

"I hardly feel like a princess like this," you cringe.

"You will always be my princess, all mine." Slowly you kiss one another. You hadn't had much time for romance since running away, so it felt incredibly intimate being able to kiss him so languidly. He holds your jaw so delicately, as your hands rinse the cool water over his strong chest.

As his thumb teases at your throat, you let out a small moan. He feels your breath on his face and he gently pries your mouth open to allow his tongue access. Gently, hands roam and caress one another, reveling in feeling one another's bodies as you hadn't been able to in days.

"Cara," Terzo sighs, pressing his hardening length against your hip. It was pretty incredible how you went from such a timid little thing to confidently handling your lover's desire as your palm strokes him, making him rut up into your cupped hand. Fingers dip between your folds, indicating his need to satiate you as well.

Touch starved, it wouldn't take long for either of you; the last time you'd made love was days before your escape from the castle.

The raven haired man lifts one of your thighs up to his hip and then removes his hand from your core to start lining his throbbing member up with your entrance.

"Oh, please, Ale… You always feel so good," you praise him and a soft blush comes to his cheeks. "Did you like that, huh?" You ask as you feel him press into you, "Like when I compliment you, pretty boy?"

His duotoned eyes flash up to yours, lips curling into a smile despite his jaw dropping open at the feeling of your walls flush around his burning lust for you. He nods his head, wanting to hear more. He holds you tightly to him as his hips buck up into your heat, needy for your body and your affections.

"You're so sweet, my Alessandro, oh- ahhh! Your cock feels perfect inside me," you continue.

He grunts softly, letting his head fall to the crook of your neck as he rolls one of your nipples between his thumb and index finger.

With a hand under his chin, you lift his face, "Look at me, handsome."

He bites his lips before pressing them to yours in a heated make out. Your fingers tangle in his unruly locks, and he angles you back slightly, looking to thrust deeper into your delicate walls.

Finding just the right spot, you know you'll be done in seconds. "Touch me Ale, make me feel like a goddess the way you always do," you choke out, fingers pulling at his hair and scratching vicious red lines across the pale skin of his back.

He quickly obliges, making sure to pay special attention to your clit, sending you right into your climax. "Ah!" you cry out, cunt clinching around his swollen desire. A few more pumps and he's filling you with ropes of his seed.

You hold him tightly as you ride out your orgasm, panting out, "See what you do to me, amore? That should be the biggest compliment of all."

He gives you a coy look, "Sì, I do enjoy making you come undone," his confident self returning.

"And you're so good at it," you kiss the tip of his nose, as he slips out of you, shivering at the loss of your warmth, especially in the cool stream flowing around you.

You both take time to dote over one another, washing every inch and savoring the moment before you'll have to be on the move again.

"I could never have done this without you, Terzo," you ponder as you rub his shoulder blades.

"Hm?" he spins around in the water to face you.

"All of it. Running away, traveling south through the woods, living outdoors. I never would've had the courage to do that without you."

His face flushes at your praises again, though this time for a different reason. "I wouldn't be taking this journey without you either, principessa. I'm so glad I found you." Cupping your face, he kisses you a few more times before it's time to get out and dry off.

• •

Back on the horse, feeling much fresher than before, a change of undergarments and all, you and Terzo took the horses quickly through the trees at a nice trot to make up for your little stop a couple miles back.

Suddenly, you hear another set of hooves moving quickly at a distance, as you turn to see who or what it is-

"DUCK!" Terzo screams at you, and you do, the knight speeding by you barely missing you as his arm whips through the air above your crouched body.

You immediately pull your horse to a halt, as does your lover, knife already in hand. Your hand finds the hilt of the knife he'd given you, gripping it tightly under your cloak as you watch the knight circle back towards you: one of your father's. Your stomach drops, and you have to focus to not throw up.

"Aye! There you are little princess!" he hollers out, his pewter helmet glimmering in the sun. "Taking on a different look, huh?" he refers to your hair. "Make this easy on all of us, and come with me. Then maybe your father will be merciful on your boyfriend here, yeah?"

"No." It was all you could manage. You hadn't worked so hard and come all this way to lose it all now.

He urges his horse forward in between yours and Terzo's, making a move to grab at you. Not wanting the knight to get you onto his horse, Terzo swiftly dismounts and yanks the man by his leg, pulling him from his own saddle. He did manage a hand on your wrist which involuntarily dismounts you as well.

Hitting the ground with some force, you gasp for air as the two men entangle in a fight with one another. Your lover isn't the largest man, but he was explosive like dynamite taking on one of your father's largest soldiers in all his armor.

Terzo works to rip parts of the other man's armor from his body, flinging an arm piece across the forest floor like a vicious animal. He expertly evades the larger man's punches, slowed a bit by the heavy metal on his person.

As you sit up, trying to right yourself again, you hear, "Get her! Grab her and take her back to the base camp," from the man fighting Terzo. You look up to see another knight riding up and dismounting, smaller than the other guy, thank heavens.

He chuckles a cocky laugh, heading right for you, "Come on, little princess." The second knight grabs your arm, forcing you up off of the ground. As you look into his eyes, you sober right up from being knocked off your horse, instincts taking over. You push and kick as hard as you can, fighting against him.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see the first knight with his hands around your lover's throat, hoisting him up against a tree. Your eyes widen in horror as you see Alessandro red in the face and sputtering for air, arms outstretched trying to tip the man's helmet off his head.

The knight fighting you made the mistake of underestimating you, as he was dragging you back to his horse only holding onto you with one arm. Like a trained mercenary, you knew what to do. Fast as you could muster, you unsheathed your knife, whistling at him to get him to look at you, and before he could even form a word, your blade was sunk into the soft spot between his chest plate and his helmet.

Harshly dragging the blade from his neck, he drops to the ground as life leaves him. Looking deliriously as the fight between your lover and the knight turns bad, you rush over, dipping to grab a fallen branch in your path.

Terzo looks at you over the knights shoulder, eyes bloodshot as he takes in your beauty seemingly for the last time. Just as his struggling fingers finally tip the dense metal from the knight's head, a loud crack sounds through the forest as your branch meets with your assailant's dome.

Slumping to the side on his knees before falling over, the knight releases your lover, who draws in a raspy breath, coughing painfully. Adrenaline still pumping through his veins, Terzo reaches for his own knife that had fallen to the ground and kneels above the knight that tried to kill him.

You move toward them, holding back one of the knights arms as your lover kneels on the other, swiftly cutting his throat, blood spilling out everywhere.

Stepping around his body, you hold Alessandro to your chest, a million thoughts rushing through your mind, "Oh my god, Terzo… we killed them," you cry into his chest as you both try fill your lungs with air, breathing unevenly and seemingly fighting the atmosphere around you.

"Amore, we must go. You heard them; there are more," Terzo helps you stand, getting you right back on your horse and sending them running at a full gallop with a harsh smack. Seconds later, he's following right behind you.

You ran the horses as fast as you could for as long as they could take it, tears streaming down your face over the danger afoot, the near loss of your lover, the sin you'd just committed against those knights. Love had changed you, for better or for worse.

• •

The days were long, full of worry that your father's knights would catch up to you once again. At night, you held each other closer than before, often unable to sleep over the anxiety and guilt that riddled your mind.

Finally a small relief came: you were getting close to Italy, and Terzo said he knows the tavern keeper in the next town. You'd ventured into towns to buy food and try to get a reading on how far the search party for you had fanned out, but you'd never stayed the night. Your lover was confident you'd be safe, a feeling you both needed.

As Terzo and the tavern keeper share a whispered greeting, you find a place to rest your feet, your back, your hips. Everything was sore. Between that and the mud and dirt crusted on your face and hair in an attempt to conceal your identity, you can only imagine how terrible you look right now. You could hardly bring yourself to care, only concerned with your safety and right now… relaxing.

Your lover reappears next to you, a glass of mead in each hand. Surely your eyebrows gave away that you were hesitant about drinking whatever was in that glass.

"C'mon, don't be such a 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢 about it," he teases you, setting a glass in front of you. As you look left and right to make sure no one took his joke seriously, Terzo kicks back in the chair opposite you and takes a large swig of the amber liquid. "È buono, try some." He throws a wink at you.

He enjoys watching you squirm as you attempt the drink in front of you. Although it wasn't the wine you were used to having at the dinner table, it wasn't bad. In fact, after a few more sips, you could see why people liked it enough to get drunk on it.

Terzo cups your chin in his fingers, swiping across your bottom lip with his thumb. He throws a smug grin at you before throwing the rest of his glass back, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, and standing up again, chair scraping across the floor.

"What-"

"Do not worry, bella mia. I will return," he winks at you, striding across the tavern, weaving between tables to the guy in the corner with a lute. You watch as he mumbles something to the bard, hands him a coin in trade for the lute.

Pulling up a stool in the center of the tavern, he sits and starts to tune the instrument, tweaking the pegs until it sounds just right. You didn't know he had an ear like that, although you think he mentioned something about tavern singing at some point.

He quickly clears his throat, strumming a gentle melody on the acoustic instrument, and starts with the lyrics,

"In an ice-capped fire Of burning wood In our world of wire Ignite our dreams Of starry skies And you and me As realised Our bigger themes"

Of course, he glanced up at you often. His cheeks flushed as he sang to you; it was obvious he was used to serenading perhaps whoever he was trying to lure in for the evening, but for you it was different. You meant more than that. Much more.

"Oh, take me internally Forever yours Nocturnal me, Take me internally Forever yours Nocturnal me…"

Even the ladies of the night are blushing at the innuendo in those lyrics were. Alessandro's lusty eyes find yours, as he continues filling the room with his beautiful melody.

You feel an overwhelming sensation of adoration and love as the emerald pendant on your chest starts glowing lightly, buzzing once again. You could tell that the feelings you were feeling were not only yours, but his as well.

Accompanied by that, a familiar warmth settles between your legs, growing to an uncontrollable burn by the end of the tune. You can't begin to understand the way that the pendant connects your feelings to his, but right now the solution is having your way with your lover.

After Terzo's song concludes, he receives a fair amount of applause as he returns the bard's lute and heads back your way, eyes piercing you.

Your breath hitches in your throat at his gaze before he takes you by the hand, pulling you up out of your seat and kissing your knuckles. It feels like all eyes in the room are on you two, and your survival instincts fight with your desire for him.

Without a word, he sweeps you across the tavern, heading toward the stairs by the bar to take you up to a room.

"Aye! We don't allow that kind of business in this establishment!" the tavern keeper flags Terzo down.

Your lover looks shocked, but notices the silver coin in the man's hand straight away.

The owner taps the coin on the counter, displaying a knight's helmet on it, leaning in closer to you both to and speaking in a more hushed tone, "Ladies of the night aren't welcome to run their operations here; it would be best if you seek refuge in the brothel across the way." He tilts his head towards the exit.

The message is covert but clear: there are knights upstairs, and you need to get out of here fast.

𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵'𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘛𝘦𝘳𝘻𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?

"Ah! Mi dispiace, amico. We will not disturb you any further," your lover exuberantly replies, leading you towards the door.

You are warmly invited into the brothel with your lover, a few of the women pining over him, playing with whisps of his hair or swiping their fingers across his shoulder. It was enough reason to suspect he'd been here before too…

When he brushes them off, asking politely for a room for the two of you, the insecurities you'd been feeling melt away; it's clear he only has eyes for you.

A point that only becomes more evident when Alessandro whisks you into your room for the night, immediately pinning you to the door with his mouth latched to your neck. "Terz…"

He caresses you, pressing his body right up against yours. "I know, amore mio, I want you so badly. Sei così bella…"

You feel anything but beautiful right now. "No, Ale, I-"

Your lover's actions come to a screeching halt as he hears the tone in your voice: one of fear and worry. Two things you should never have to feel, in his humble opinion.

"I don't think I can do this… What if those guards find us? Terzo, I'm so scared," you cling to his cloak with frustrated fists, leaning your forehead against his chest.

"Do not fret, cara mia. I know it feels as if we are in the lion's den, but you are safe here. I know many people in this little village, and they will not give us away." He smoothes back your tangled hair, trying to ease your mind.

"But they can't stop those knights from seeing us! They can't stop them from recognizing me," you have real urgency present in your voice and in the way you look at him.

"Well…" He pauses to think for a moment. "What if I set up an alert system? I can have le signore here on lookout for us tonight, and we'll leave before sunrise, sì?" He rubs your arms, leading you over to the bed to at least sit down.

Your nerves are so on edge, you feel like you could ride off into the forest right now, into some secret tunnel that would take you to your destination… But you knew that wouldn't be good for you: number one because of exhaustion, and number two because you're clearly delirious if you're hoping for some imaginary path through these mountains. Relaxing into the plush mat on the bed, it wasn't much, but it was certainly so much nicer than the hard ground you'd unfortunately had to get used to.

"Principessa," Alessandro whispers to you, "You are tired. Get some rest, tesoro. I will make sure we are safe," he coos, helping you lie back in bed.

Sleepiness has hit you like a wall, especially being in a bed for the first time in what felt like months. "Amore… I trust you," you squeak out before pressing a soft kiss to his lips and allowing yourself to truly relax. Within minutes, you're out, softly making little noises in your sleep.

Terzo smiles down at you, carefully pressing his lips to your temple before slipping from the room. He's got work to do.

• •

Waking in Alessandro's warm embrace was something you'd happily gotten used to, often holding onto each other out of necessity on cold nights, but to wake in a bed, bundled up and fairly well-rested… Now this is something you'd like to experience more often.

Turning over to see Terzo's bare chest, you wish you had more time to show it your affection, but the sun will be showing itself soon.

Grumbly and not wanting to separate himself from you, it's a challenge waking the sleepy man.

"Now who's being a 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢, huh?" you quietly jab at him. "C'mon, bed bug, we've got to get moving before those knights do."

He groans, finally cracking his eyes open, "I told you, amore, we have nothing to worry about with that." He smooches your forehead before you climb out of bed.

"Yeah, we won't have anything to worry about if we leave!" you chuckle, trying to be as lighthearted as you can by chucking his cloak at his lying form.

"Eh!" He swats his hand playfully before finally getting up.

After lacing up your corset, you lean down to retrieve Terzo's shirt noticing something on the sleeve. "What is this?" you ponder quietly before turning to him. "Why is there blood on your cuff here?"

He saunters over, giving you that devilishly handsome smile and taking the shirt from your hands, "Perhaps I nicked myself on something." His tone is nonchalant as he goes back to getting ready.

It has you suspicious, but you decide to shrug it off.

Outside in the stables finally, Terzo helps you up on your steed before mounting his own. He looks you over as if sizing up a meal, admiring the way you'd really risen to the challenge of fleeing your home.

"What's that look for?" you giggle at him.

"Just observing what I didn't get to have a taste of last night," he smirks.

The objectification makes you blush and wish you hadn't gotten so in your own head after leaving the tavern. But before you can snap a quick remark, a few men, including the tavern owner, return from the treeline, shovels in hand. You notice Terzo nod a knowing look at them.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

Thinking on it for a few seconds, you piece the clues together, but decide now isn't the time to ask. Instead, you whip your horse's reins, running away from your problems once again.

• •

Settled in by the hearth after a delicious dinner with some friends of Terzo's, you lean into the man's chest as the mother of the household reads to everyone. It's a lovely story that the family had been working through together, but you only understand bits and pieces of the Italian lilting though the room. Instead you opt to mostly enjoy the comfortable silence between you and your lover, contentedly listening to his heartbeat.

This well-to-do family had a room to offer you for the night, refuge from the winding paths in the mountains, and secrecy from those who might come looking for you. Luckily, you hadn't encountered any more of your father's knights since the last town a few days ago, and you hoped you wouldn't… for their sake, especially if Terzo did what you think he did.

"Tesoro?" his voice pulls you from your thoughts as you undress for bed.

"Hm?" you turn to him.

Dramatically, he steps across the room, shirt hanging open, as he cups your cheeks in his large hands, fingertips tracing your earlobe and jawline. "Are you alright, cara mia? You've been unlike yourself the past few days, not talking as much. Have I done something to upset you?"

His last question was right on the mark, if your suspicions were correct. "Did… Did you kill those knights in the last town?" your lip quivers and you start to tear up, confronting the guilt you'd been trying to ignore since then.

"Sì, amore, I did," he starts, and as you begin to interject, he continues, "but I did it for you."

"Do not use me as an excuse, Alessandro! Why would you do it?!" Anger starts to replace your tears.

"Amore… I would do 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 for you. I did it to keep us safe! You were right when you said that those knights could catch us. I had given myself a false sense of security being in a familiar place with familiar faces." He steps back, allowing you the space to process his words.

His explanation was plainly honest, simple, didn't beat around the bush. Yet, it still vexes you that you know hardly a thing about his position, where you're going, why he has to be so secretive. And now he's killed your father's knights twice to keep you out of their grasp. You can't help but question his intentions since your stay in the last town…

"You would do anything for me?" you repeat, voice small.

"Sì. Anything. Everything, principessa! I want to marry you, amore, give you as many piccoli bambini as you want! I would do anything to have you and to love you for eternity… even killing those knights to know they won't take you from my arms." As he verbalizes his dedication to you, his emotions swell, causing the pendant on your neck to glow once again, letting you feel just how much he means it.

Perhaps you'd gotten in your own head once again.

Your fingers trace across the emerald as they often did. "Marry me?" is all you can utter.

"Certo che," (Of course,) he whispers, lashes wet as he moves to hold you close to him again. "Ti amo così tanto, bella mia." (I love you so much, beautiful.)

"I love you, too," you mumble into his chest, but then look up at him, "I think I've wanted to marry you since the moment you held that knife to my throat."

You both share small chuckle, noses nuzzled together, Terzo's fingers dancing in your hair as the moonlight spills in through the little window. Softly, he presses a kiss to your lips, relieved that you aren't angry with him anymore. He had feared he would lose you over his own actions rather than anything taking you from him.

"But," you start, and his eyes quickly flick to meet yours, "it's time you tell me the truth."

"Cara mia, we are only two days away-"

"Exactly, Alé. Don't you think I should know what I'm getting into? Who I'll be around? What you're involved in? I've been very patient, and I've put all my trust in you, amore. Nothing you have to say could change my feelings about us," you press him, but also reassure him.

Deep down, he knows you're right yet again. While it would be the safest option to wait until you have arrived at the Abbey, he can't expect you to walk into this blindly. "Okie dokie, principessa, where would you like to start?"

You pause, the realization dawning on you that you finally get to ask the millions of questions you've had. Naturally, your mind goes blank, only coming up with one simple but open ended question. "Who are you?"

The man before you chuckles as he guides you to sit on the plush bed with him. "Tesoro, you know who I am… Truthfully, you know me better than most."

"Terz- Alessandro," you start, unsure what you should call him in your mild irritation at that answer, "Who are you? What's your title? Are you important in… wherever we're going? Where are we going? Is it a kingdom? Who's the ruler there? What's it like?" The dam broke and all the questions leave you in a rush.

"Principessa," he stops the flood. "My name is Alessandro Terzo Emeritus. As for the rest of your questions, perhaps I should start where you ended." He takes your hands in his, clearing his throat. "My home is bellissima. It's not like any place you've ever seen. It's an Abbey, secluded away from the world around it. Peaceful. It's peaceful and protected there."

"What are you protecting?" you quietly interject.

He chuckles before continuing. "Our way of life, cara mia. We are a people of liberation, free will, acceptance. In structure, it is not a kingdom; however, it is not unlike the Catholicism you grew up knowing, but without all the rules. We have loyal followers, we have ministry workers, a clergy."

You sit in silence, his explanation only leading you to a million 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 questions.

"But you see, bella, we are not like Christianity in our spirituality. It's not something most are born into, it is something that is found. We have many of the tenets you are familiar with from your father's religion without all that silly worry about sin…"

You can tell he is hesitant to come out and say it. This is the thing that isn't safe to know. You wonder if it isn't safe because of how you'll feel about it or if it really could bring you danger for knowing about it.

Both is the answer.

"Cara mia, I am a part of the Church of Satan."

Again, silence falls over the room as you collect your thoughts. "Well… It's alright if you practice a different religion. I haven't felt particularly close to my own lately. So you live in this ministry? Do all of the followers live there?"

He gives you a half smile at your naivety. "No, bella, typically our followers do not all live there. Some come seeking refuge, but they do not have to stay, though many who do become Siblings of Sin."

"Siblings of Sin?" you repeat, "Are those like nuns?"

He chuckles again, nodding at you.

"So are you a… Brother of Sin?"

Another smile. And another thing he loves about you: your curiosity far outweighs your need to judge anyone.

"No, again. I am in the clergy. I am one of the few that is raised in the religion, although we are welcome to leave should we choose. My whole life I've been molded to be its leader, and the time is coming soon, which is why I set out to find you, amore."

"Me? The leader? What does that have to do with me?" you are genuinely concerned.

"Perhaps my wording was cryptic, mi dispiace. I just mean to say that once I am in charge, I won't have much time to be away from my duties, so I set out to find love before that time comes." Your lover cups your cheek, basking in how gorgeous you look in the pale moonlight.

"Oh," you smile, relieved. "So… You will be- the Pope? If it's like Catholicism."

"Sì. Papa. Papa Emeritus the Third, preceded by mio fratello, Papa Emeritus the Second, or Secondo when he's being a stronzo," he rolls his eyes at the thought, and you can't help but picture the sibling rivalry.

Somehow you've just found out he's the Antipope, opposite your religion, and all you find yourself thinking about is that he has a brother, maybe even two if there is a Papa Emeritus the First. Then you remember the letter from his mom… His whole family is waiting for him back home, and you can't wait to meet them!

Suddenly, you let out a sob, biting your lip and looking up at him through watery eyes. Hugging him tightly and crying into his chest, you hear him tell you, "I understand if it is all too much. I understand if you do not wish to be bound to me, mia dea. I do still hope you'll come along with me; you'll be safe there, no matter your beliefs. We can just be lovers, even if you never want more, amore, I'll understand."

Sniffling as you wipe your tears away, you search for your favorite mismatched eyes, "What do you mean, Alé? I'm happy. I'm finally happy, don't you see?" You hold his face in your hands, nuzzling noses once again. "It isn't lost on me the irony that I left the king of one religion just to please another, but at least I did it of my own accord. You gave me the choice, and that is what makes me love you, Alessandro Terzo Emeritus. You may have set me free… But my only wish is to be bound to you, eternally." Another pause, "Forever yours, nocturnal me. Just like your song, right?"

Sincerity is written across his face at your words; with an arm wrapped around your waist, he pulls you to straddle his lap, "𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 song," he tells you before his lips crash into yours.

• •

Sun now spills in the room as your eyes squint open. Slumped down into the cushiony bed, your body thoroughly relaxed from the way he worked every tension from your aching body last night, you find it hard to even move. But turning to find an empty spot next to you, motivation to once again be close to your lover encourages your feet to carry you through getting dressed and finding him at the dining table with the family hosting you.

Peeking through the doorway, you watch as he throws his head back in laughter, joking with one of the little boys, making him squeal and giggle. You wonder what he'll be like as a father to his own one day.

"What are you smiling at, tesoro? Come, sit," Terzo stands, pulling out a chair for you.

"Thank you," you tell him, sitting at the table with everyone.

Breakfast is delicious, and you're so grateful for the warm meals and hot bath and soft bed this family has offered you. Between table chatter, a small broach on the mother's dress catches your eye.

"Is everything alright, dear?" she asks, clearly catching you staring at it.

"Oh! Apologies, my apologies. I just spotted your pin… What does it mean?" you cringe at your own bad manners.

"Oh!" she also exclaims, "My Grucifix?" The mother runs her fingers over it almost affectionately. "Terzo… You've done a poor job informing the girl where you're taking her!" She jokes lightheartedly.

"We discussed everything late last night," he gently squeezes your hand. "I just haven't had a chance to… Show her everything: the symbolism, scriptures-"

"Your paints?" The mother asks excitedly.

You offer a confused look. 𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘴? 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘛𝘦𝘳𝘻𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘯?

"No, I-" Terzo starts but is interrupted again.

"Honey," the father of the family smiles at his wife, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Let them move at their own pace."

You and Terzo both silently sigh your relief. He wants to tell you more, but not now.

"So, you all are followers of Terzo's Church then?" you ask, not really sure how to word it.

"My husband and I are, the children will be allowed to decide for themselves if that's what they would like to believe," the mother answers softly. "This is the symbol of Papa's church specifically, to answer your earlier question, dear."

You spend the rest of breakfast happily chatting away before having to return to the journey at hand.

"Mm, can't we stay, Alé?" you groan into his shoulder after he affixes your horse's saddle.

Hugging you lazily, he kisses your forehead, "I would dare say we could… If I weren't so concerned about delivering us home, amore mio."

"Do you think they'll like me there?" you ponder out loud.

"Like you? Tesoro, they'll adore you. Some will even wish they could be you." He looks you over amorously.

"I'll be that important, huh?" You offer him a smile.

"Oh, sì, sì. As my Prime Mover, everyone will look to you as a beacon of warmth and understanding."

His answer makes you a little nervous. You hadn't really thought about his followers also looking up to you; women don't really have a position in Catholicism, other than nuns. Now his words from last night about not wanting to be bound to him make sense.

"Prime Mover…" You won't let the challenge scare you away. "I hope I can do the position, and you, the justice it deserves," you nod your head reassuringly, kissing him softly several times.

Hesitantly, he pulls away from you. "Mm, tesoro, while I could kiss you all day, we must go," he reminds you, before helping you on your horse for the millionth time in the past few weeks.

• •

Sun was setting, leaving long dramatic shadows cast across the first floor by the tall trees. Terzo is so excited, he can hardly contain it. You're close to your final destination and it hardly feels real. Traveling with him is all you'd known thus far.

"THERE!" He points suddenly, and you're not even sure what he pointed at before he sharply commands his horse to a gallop, spooking yours into doing the same!

You may have let out a scream struggling to hold onto your horse, "Terzo?! What are you doing??!"

"Look, cara mia! Casa!" Home. It's finally within his grasp.

You come up on the beautiful brick abbey at full speed; with it's towering spires and winding vines, it casts some interesting shadows at sunset. Stunning, nonetheless.

Some tall stocky men in silver masks run out of a side door at full sprint. Upon the terrace, Terzo abruptly stops his horse and flies from the saddle, directly towards the largest man. "Omega!" he chirps as they practically slam their bodies against one another in a fierce hug.

Slowing your horse to a halt, unlike your lover, you patiently wait for the men to greet one another. They were clearly all very close. The one called Omega almost acted like an obedient dog thrilled to see his owner after so long and needing a good scratch behind the ears. Observing the devilish look of their masks and the mysterious way they move, a whole new list of questions comes to mind.

"Mamma!" Terzo running towards an older woman with long black wavy hair catches your attention. She has beautiful with warm green eyes; must be where he gets his from.

"Alessandro, how I've missed you!" she exclaims, covering his face in kisses and holding him tightly. He giggles at her, and in that moment, he looks like a happy and well-loved child. "Is this her, Alessandro? The one you've been looking for?" It shifts all the attention toward you, still perched on your dappled horse.

"Sì, Mamma, this is my love," Terzo turns, making his way over to assist you to the ground. He holds your hands, looking into your eyes to make sure you're not overwhelmed. All he finds there is happiness. He brings you over and introduces you by name and title, "Amore, this is mia mamma, Felìcita."

"Buonasera, è un piacere incontrarti," (Good evening, it's a pleasure to meet you,) you greet her just like you'd practiced, wanting to make a good impression.

"Ah, ragazza dolce, mio figlio taught you well, didn't he?" she replies with a laugh and a kiss on each cheek. "Did he give you this haircut, too?" She holds a couple of uneven strands between her fingers. You just laugh and nod. "Ah, don't worry, cara, we'll get you all cleaned up here." Her smile is so inviting and her conversation so charming, you see the influence she's has on Alé.

"Bella mia?" Terzo pulls you from your thoughts, "I'd like you to meet my ghouls."

"Ghouls?" you repeat.

"Sì, Alpha," he gestures to the one on his left. "And Omega," he pats the shoulder of the one on his right.

You're not sure how you'll ever tell them apart. "Nice to meet you both," you hold out a hand for either one to shake. Alpha takes you up on the offer, immediately pulling you close, taking you by surprise. He nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck and a strong appendage wraps tightly around you: a tail. Trying to keep your face as unreadable as possible while you take in his inhuman features, you start to hear a soft purring next to your ear.

"Alpha, scendi! You'll scare her," Terzo commands.

"Alé, it's okay," you tell him, wrapping your arms around the large man's waist, which only increases the noises coming from him.

"Alé?" Omega chucks, elbowing your lover.

"Stai zitto, demone!" (Shut up, demon!) he hisses in return. Their dynamic is pretty funny.

Alpha pulls away from your hug cheery eyed as he quietly tells you, "Il bambino è al caldo e al sicuro." (The baby is warm and safe.)

"Bambino?!" Terzo nearly shouts.

"Si, signore, she carries your child," Alpha tells him.

"Tesoro?" your lover's eyebrows immediately turn upward at the realization, "Did you suspect this?"

"I just- I thought I was only tired from being on horseback so much… I had no idea," you explain, feeling like you need to sit down.

As if reading your mind, Alessandro is there to support you. "Amore…" He gently places his hand on your stomach, "You will make una bella mamma!" Nuzzling your nose, as had become a consistent thing from him, tears prick at his eyes.

"Mi scusi, but if this is the case," Felìcita addresses you, "we should get you inside for a warm meal, sì? I won't have mio nipote go hungry!"

• •

You'd pretty much spent the last 36 hours sleeping… and eating, of course. Italian hospitality dictates that you will not go hungry. Cracking your eyes open just long enough to wiggle under your lover's arm and lay your head on his chest, you nestle right back in to go to sleep.

Terzo groans dramatically and grumbles, "Amore, we can't sleep forever, as good as it feels…"

You had been fortunate enough to be mostly left alone since you'd arrived at the Abbey, and you'd both used the time to rest after such a hard expedition into Italy, especially you and the baby.

"How did Alpha know?" you ask, eyes still closed as you listen to the man's heartbeat.

"The ghouls, they… they feel things. Almost like they're connected to those around them." His fingers trace shapes across your scalp, only serving to push you further back into your slumber.

But curiosity gets the best of you again, as you sit up, leaning over your lover. "Like the emerald you gave me? How it makes me feel what you feel?"

He smiles, "Sì, but the ghouls are much more… sensitive. Hence why I couldn't tell you are pregnant, despite the pendant."

"So you 𝘥𝘪𝘥 do something to it!" you accuse him, proud for finally cracking it.

He chuckles at your little game, "Sì, how else was I suppose to lure you in?" His hand in your hair pulls you down for a kiss.

"Perhaps with the endless thoughts I had of you every day after you kissed me," you drag a finger down his bare chest. "Although that was something entirely out of your control," you wink at him.

"Sì, well, I do like to keep you under my control, cara mia," his morning voice growls in your ear.

"Oh, are you going to put me under another spell, lover?" you giggle, playing with his chest hair.

"Mmm, one where the only word to fall off your lips is my name…" Terzo sits up, flipping you onto your back and pinning your hands above your head.

"Which one?" you playfully rebut.

"I'll allow you to decide this," it's his turn to wink as his lips find your jaw, working on all the sweet spots he knows so well.

"Mmm… Terzo," you sigh into his touch.

His hands snake under your nightgown, leaving your hands resting above your head. "Is that the one you choose, cara?" Resting his fingers on your panties, he starts to rub against your bundle of nerves.

You feign thinking about it as you writhe against his hand. "Oh no… I might pick another," you tease.

He leaves a sizable love bite at your collarbone, sucking his mark into your skin while his fingers dip beneath the fabric impeding them. His hard cock, unfortunately concealed by his sleeping pants, presses against your thigh, so you gently move your leg back and forth to offer him some relief. Before long, evidence of his lust seeps though the thin fabric.

"Dolcezza…" he whispers right in your ear before nibbling on it as well, eliciting a moan from you. One of his fingers moves further down to hint at your entrance.

You inhale sharply, "Please, Alé," you whine.

"Alé? Or will it be Alessandro?" he flirts, allowing that digit to slip into you, making quick work of curling it to find your other sweet spot.

"Mmm…" you knit your eyebrows together, "mm- I- please."

"Please what, mia dea?" He adds another finger. "You must decide on a name for me, since you insist I have too many…"

"Please," you struggle against his ministrations, especially when his free hand comes to tease at you nipple. "Please… Papa."

His eyebrows perk up at that one, and his hands pause for a moment, almost imperceptibly. "Tesoro, I am not Papa yet," he scoffs.

"You will be one day, no?" Now it's your turn to give him the devious look he normally has in his eye. "Plus… You'll be Papa to this little one very soon," you gesture by rubbing your belly just above where his hands work on you.

With that, all his restraint is lost, obvious in the way he pounces back on top of you, attacking your mouth with his and ripping your undergarments from your flesh. "Allow me to remind you how I put il mio piccolo inside you, then," he growls, pushing his own pants down to his knees before hiking your legs up around his waist.

Your hands finally move to claw at his back with him now on top of you. Feeling his length being slicked up in your folds, he gives no warning before pushing in right to the hilt. The scream it drags from you could probably wake the dead!

"Say it again," your lover commands darkly before snapping his hips into you again.

"P-uhh…" is all you manage.

Sitting up, his fingers harshly grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Say it. Again." This time through gritted teeth.

"Papa! Please, fuck me Papa!" you beg.

"Brava ragazza," he praises you. "Now, legs up here," he taps his collarbones, giving you little time before he's hoisting them up himself, hooking your knees on his shoulders. Falling back on top of you, you feel absolutely folded in half as his cock presses deep against your walls.

"Oh, Papa!" you whimper, feeling his tip drag against that sweet spot.

He places his weight on his elbows, fingers tangling in your hair, and he aligns his knees on either side of your hips. Carefully at first, he lifts his hips before dropping back down into you. When it earns a gasp from you, he does it again, and again, falling into a dangerous rhythm.

You whine and moan for him over and over again, having to fight back your climax already as he attacks your most sensitive spot. Fingernails scratch at his sides as he pounds into you, and you try to keep your knees from knocking against your head.

"Bellissima, cara mia, you take il mio cazzo so well…" he grunts out, already getting close as well. "Sei bellissima sotto di me." (You look beautiful underneath me.) The soft kiss he presses to your lips is a sharp juxtaposition to his ministrations.

Your urge your heels into his back, opening your mouth for more, and he doesn't disappoint as his tongue does its familiar dance with yours. "P-Papa…" you break the kiss, "I'm, I'm-"

"Vieni per me, principessa, vieni sul mio cazzo," he allows you your release; gently his hand squeezes at your airway as his hips roughly snap into your tight wet heat.

The lack of air only serves to heighten your pleasure as your orgasm rolls through you, causing your legs to shake thunderously beneath his weight. "PAPA!" you scream his soon-to-be title endlessly, the spell he joked about earlier coming true.

Holding off just long enough to work you through your climax, he thrusts into you one last time and you feel Terzo's cock kick, spilling his seed inside you. "Satanas, amore… Ti amo… Amo la tua figa," (Satanas, love… I love you… I love your pussy.) he huffs out, still pressing into you as you both come down from your high.

You share a laugh at his lewd comment, and he bumps his nose against yours before sitting up and slipping out of you before carefully helping to unfold your legs. Climbing over you once again, his thumbs massage your hips, wanting to help release any tension there. "How's that, cara?"

"Mm, feels good, Papa, thank you," you relax under his touch, eyes fluttering closed.

"Bene," he giggles, "you don't have to call me Papa anymore, tesoro."

"What if I like it?" you smirk.

"Then you may call me what you like," he says, magic fingers still working your tense muscles. "But maybe not in front of miei fratelli… It could make them feel jealous." He gives you a little wink.

• •

What would've under most circumstances been a stressful day, was actually pretty easy going. Being with your lover had a way of keeping you calm and content, even as you met the rest of his family and the upper clergy members.

It was lunch with his brothers, Primo and Secondo, and father, Nihil. You felt it odd that his mother was left out, but that would be a conversation for later. The rest of the afternoon was filled with meetings, some being introductions and others were to discuss preparing you for your Prime Mover ritual. There would be a lot to learn, but you feel confident with Alessandro by your side.

"Amore," he catches your attention with a kiss to the cheek. You're back in his chambers getting ready for Mass tonight; Secondo would be leading it, and it's your first one, so you're nervous but excited. "I regret to have to leave you alone while I go dress for Mass tonight, will you be alright without me? Of course, you'll have Sister Beth here to help with anything you could need."

"I'll be fine, my love. Besides, I'm not really alone, am I?" You place his hand on your belly and nod towards the Sister diligently waiting to assist you. "I'll see you in the chapel," you give his hand a squeeze and his nose a kiss.

After your lover dismisses himself, Beth is very patient in helping you get ready and answering any questions that come mind about tonight's mass. She's not unlike your handmaiden back home.

𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦.

You hadn't really allowed yourself to think about the place you grew up in. It wasn't exactly home anymore…

"Are you alright, Miss?" Beth rips you from your reminiscing.

Quickly peeking in the looking glass and wiping away tears, you respond, "Yes! Yes, I'm fine, Beth. Thank you for asking." You hope the panic isn't obvious on your face.

"Of course, Miss." She nods knowingly and goes back to styling your hair, twisting and smoothing the strands expertly.

"Beth…" It escapes you before you can stop it.

"Yes, Miss?" She glances at your reflection, continuing her work.

"Do you enjoy it here? You weren't raised here, were you? I mean- My apologies, Beth. I've overstepped." You internally cringe at how your curiousity leaps all boundaries.

"It's quite alright, milady," she softly reassures you, "Must be nerve-wracking coming to a new place, and being plopped in a high up position at that. I was nervous too when I arrived on the front stoop. This is the only place I've felt fully accepted as I am, imperfections and all." She has a sense of pride on her face. "Be honest and true to yourself and everyone here will have no choice but to accept you. Surely, since you were charming enough to catch the eye of Cavaliere Terzo."

"Cavaliere?" you question.

"Oh yes, he's so sought after here at the Abbey. I should prepare you by saying that nearly all the Siblings get a little weak in the knees in his presence."

The idea of everyone having their little flirtations with your lover doesn't bother you… But 𝘊𝘢𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘦? 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯… 𝘋𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

"I'm sorry, Miss, if I've upset you. I just thought it better that you know how everyone will act around him," Beth softly apologizes.

"No, no, it's not you. Or the wandering eyes. What does Cavaliere mean?"

"Oh! Just that he's a knight. One of our finest, actually. Great on horseback, and you should see him with a sword, Miss! He's very skilled at taking down his opponents during practices and tournaments."

"Oh my… He's never mentioned it to me," you ponder, baffled at this news.

"Well, of course! How else would he have survived so long traveling through the mountains and Satan knows where else?" She sounds so chipper; she must have a small crush on him too.

"And how long was he gone? I've only been traveling with him for just over a fortnight," maybe now you're prying.

"Nearly a year, Miss." Beth smiles, placing an ornate clip in your hair. "Finished! How do you like it?"

"It's bellissima, Beth. Thank you," you nod at her, appreciating her hard work.

"Already getting comfortable with Italian? The family will like that," she reassures you with a pat on the shoulder, before exiting to the bedroom to prepare your gown for this evening.

Staring into the looking glass, head reeling from all the new information, you think about Alessandro's letter from his mother.

𝘈 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳? 𝘕𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦?

The realization makes you feel almost insignificant, like there is a much bigger power at work here, but simultaneously makes you feel very special. Thinking on the way he didn't want you to feel trapped coming here, his mother not wanting him to come back until he found love, the sins he committed to get you here safely… It puts things in a different perspective, like all the puzzle pieces are starting to fit together. You know you've made the right choice with him and that you weren't just swept up in your feelings.

𝘏𝘦 𝘪𝘴… 𝘏𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

• •

The grand halls surrounding the the chapel are absolutely packed as everyone greets one another, waiting for sunset. Beth stays right by your side, not wanting you to get lost in the sea of people; you had no idea this many people could even fit in this place.

"Ah, Sorella, buonasera," you hear a soft voice over your shoulder: Primo.

Secondo follows with, "How are you and il piccolo, doing?" Despite his gruff nature, you're quickly learning he's really a big softie, especially towards beautiful women and babies. You aren't even that far along, but everyone in the family seems so excited about the prospect of another little one.

"We're doing well, thank you both," you greet them offering them both a kiss on the cheek, careful not to mess up their papal paints. It's an unconventional look for certain, but their full formal regalia indeed commands the respect they deserve.

The two dismiss themselves into the chapel, leaving everyone else outside to wait for the doors to open.

"Where do you think Terzo is?" you nudge Beth lightly.

"Oh, he's over there, Miss," she points to a particularly dense crowd of people.

𝘎𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘫𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘱𝘰𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴.

The girl seems to nervously fidget with her habit, eagerly watching the scene before her intently.

"Do you want to go see him, too?" you smile at her, and she replies with a shy nod. "It's alright, go ahead," you smile your approval.

As your handmaiden slips into the gathering, you giggle to yourself, thinking about how he must really get slowed down trying to go anywhere. From your spot by the chapel doors, you see that familiar mop of hair, but notice that he stands a little taller, chest puffed out a bit more. Seeing the ornate black and gold pauldron on his shoulder gives you a hint of his knightly attire.

Silently observing as people shake his hand, offer him hugs and even hand them their babies, it's not unlike watching a soldier who's come home from war to be greeted by those that care for him. However, when he notices Beth standing near him, his head turns, looking around for you. His face is covered in a stark black and white skeleton designs, similar to his brothers. If it weren't for the way his eyes wandered your body upon spotting you, you almost wouldn't have recognized him.

In an effort to politely slip away from his devoted flock, he kisses a few ladies' knuckles, and bids them farewell for now, turning all his attention towards you leaning against the wall, patiently waiting.

Drinking in his finely crafted artisan armor as he ambles over, you give him a wink, appreciating this new look on him. The black of his armor ties in well with his face paint and dark locks, while the gold only serves to make him stand out amongst everyone else.

"Mm, amore," he grunts, taking your hand. "You look assolutamente divino in this gown. Violet is a favorite of mine, especially seeing it on you, dolcezza." He lifts your chin with his fingers, gracing his thumb over your lower lip.

"You never told me you are a knight, 𝘊𝘢𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘛𝘦𝘳𝘻𝘰…" you feign irritation at him.

"Aye, some things must remain a surprise, sì?" Clearly being back home and returning to his high position has given him a whole new air of confidence.

"I worry to see what other 'surprises' you have in mind, caro," you giggle.

He wraps an arm around the small of your back, the hard metal firmly pressing against your skin, and pulls you in for a what feels like an inappropriate kiss to share in front of the whole congregation.

Luckily, the doors to the chapel open, saving you from any further public displays with your partner; you were already receiving some looks from a few of the Sisters just for kissing him.

"Ready for your first Black Mass, principessa?" Alessandro offers you his elbow, guiding you to the front pew to sit alongside him and his mother, who gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

After this, you know there will be no turning back. Your old life is nothing but a memory now.

[sjsmith56]

More Than a Client - A Private Man, Chapter 3

Summary: Tracey admits that she has become emotionally involved with Bucky. Before she’s free to date him there is a two month cooling off period with no contact. While she is gone, an incident occurs.

Length: 4.3 K

Characters, Bucky, Rebecca, Tracey, Amina, Marie.

Warnings: Some angst from Bucky. Intervention in a crime.

Author notes: I’ve tried to show a “normal” sibling relationship between Bucky and Rebecca. She likes to tease him but she loves him dearly. He loves her just as much but doesn’t quite know how to respond to her teasing. Shukran lika – Arabic for thank you [from Google Translate].

<<Chapter 2

☕️ 🍪 🍕

On Tuesday Amina showed up at 1:30 to watch Rebecca, bringing some ingredients with her to do some more baking for them.  When Bucky offered to pay her for her efforts she put her hand out in opposition.

"No, Mr. Bucky," she stated.  "I bake because I like you and Mrs. Rebecca.  You are friends and it is my pleasure to bake for my friends."

"But you do so much already," he said.  "We were strangers 10 days ago."

"In my religion there is a saying," she replied.  "If you help someone, Allah helps you.  Someday my family will need help and I am ensuring that I will receive it."

"You're very kind," replied Bucky.  "Shukran lika."

"You're very welcome.  Now go to your meeting.  Say hello to Miss Tracey Harris."  He looked surprised at her.  "You think none of us noticed the looks between you?  She is a good woman and needs a good man.  You can be good for each other.  Go, don't be late."

Shaking his head Bucky left for the coffee shop, located a few blocks away.  He arrived first and ordered himself a regular coffee.  Nursing it, he waited patiently.  When Tracey arrived he stood up and pulled a chair out for her.

"What would you like?" he asked.  "My treat."

"Um, a caffè latte, please," she said.  "I wouldn't mind a snack.  I didn't get lunch today.  Just a muffin, perhaps."

Bucky nodded and ordered her coffee and a carrot muffin.  He waited for the coffee and brought it the table.  Sitting across from her he sipped his drink.

"Foggy Nelson came yesterday," he said.  "Rebecca really likes him.  He suggested a different way to make sure I get the house, joint tenancy with survivorship ... something like that.  It means my name goes on the deed and if anything happens to Rebecca then I'm her immediate survivor.  She is still doing a will for her personal possessions.  He's also going to look into my back pay claim.  I won't hold my breath on that."

"He is very passionate about his job," said Tracey.  "He and his partner have helped a lot of people who have lost faith in the system.  If he can get your back pay settled you could switch to day shift and live a more normal life.  That's your goal isn't it?  A normal life with your sister?"

"I guess," replied Bucky, trying not to stare too much.  "I haven't really had a normal life since the 40s.  Not sure I remember how to live one.  Although I guess if I switched to day shift I could start dating, if I met someone who would go out with me.  I tried the dating apps but ...."

He stopped, embarrassed at telling her what type of woman swiped right on his profile in the dating apps.  She smiled sympathetically.

"I can understand what you're going through," she said, "more than you think.  I've been divorced for four years and I think I've had maybe four dates in all that time.  Two of them wanted me to go home with them right away and were angry that they spent money on me and I didn't put out."  Bucky frowned at that admission.  "One was angry over his own divorce and spent the entire date complaining about women who were out to emasculate men."

She stopped and took a drink of her coffee.  "And the fourth one?" asked Bucky, gently.

She took another drink of her coffee before speaking.  "Was charming and sociable.  Then I woke up alone in a cheap motel and didn't remember how I got there .... You can guess the rest."

Bucky seethed inside, that someone would do such a thing.  He knew of guys who had done similar things before the war and had taken justice into his own hands a few times.  He swallowed his anger and looked at Tracey.

"I'm sorry," he said.  "It didn't happen often in my day but even once was too much.  It must have put you off of dating completely."

"It did," she admitted, then she sipped her coffee and looked at her cup.  "Then I met a kind, quiet, private man who faced his own challenges.  He asked me out and I had to turn him down because he was technically a client but as of yesterday he's not anymore."

She kept looking at her coffee for a moment then raised her eyes to his surprised look.  "Me?  You're talking about me?"

"I talked to my supervisor," she said.  "Told her I stayed the night at your house to watch your sister while you worked the night shift, and that I gave you both a ride to the newcomer centre for a social event on the weekend, then organized a Sunday meeting with the volunteers at your house.  She agreed that I've become emotionally involved with you and Rebecca.  Another nurse will take her on as a client."

"You're not in trouble, are you?" he asked, his face and voice full of concern.  "I never wanted you to get into trouble."

"No, it's a hazard of the profession," replied Tracey, with a slight smile.  "I reported it right away like I was supposed to.  After a cooling off period I'll be free to go out with you, if you're willing to wait a bit."

Bucky felt a warmth inside that he hadn't felt for a long time, not since the war when he thought he fell in love with an army secretary.  He never had the chance to find out about her because he fell from the train a week later.  Tracey's cheeks were coloured pink and she looked anxious, as if she had put herself out on a limb and was afraid to climb back to the safety of the tree trunk.

"How long is the cooling off period?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Two months," she replied.  "No contact with each other.  The new nurse has been fully briefed on the situation and agrees that Rebecca needs to be at home with you.  The volunteers are doing a great job and if you get the funding to hire someone they can apply for the job and actually get paid for it."

Bucky took a big breath and sat back for a moment.  He never expected that Tracey would take the step of transferring Rebecca's case to someone else.  She still wasn't looking at him and he realized that he hadn't really said he would be there for her.

"I came here with the intention of asking you to give up Rebecca as a client," he admitted.  "I like you, a lot.  You're a kind woman and you've been very understanding with me.  I'll wait as long as it takes for your cooling off period.  You're worth it to me.  I just hope I'm worth it to you."

She smiled shyly and it was like a fountain began flowing inside of him at the sight of her lovely smile, that she was gifting to him.  They both took a drink of their coffees and Tracey finished her muffin.  When it was time to go Bucky walked her to her car, waiting patiently as she unlocked the door and opened it.  He looked intently at her, unable to take his eyes off of her lips.  Suddenly she put her hand on his cheek and he leaned down kissing her gently.  They each smiled self consciously then he stepped back while she got behind the wheel.  As she pulled away he watched until he couldn't see her car anymore.  Both of them had the same soft look on their faces.

When he walked in the door of the house both Amina and Rebecca noticed Bucky didn't have his normal stoic face on.  Instead he had what Amina thought was a hopeful face, as if he had seen something that made him feel good about his life.

"How did the coffee date go?" asked Rebecca.

"It wasn't a date," said Bucky, sounding positive.  "It was a meeting with your former nurse.  I say former because you'll have a new nurse starting Friday.  I forgot to ask for her name."

"What about Miss Tracey?" asked Amina, taking a tray of cookies out of the oven.  

"She asked to be removed as Rebecca's nurse," he said, stopping so that he was in between the kitchen and the living room, visible to both women.  "Apparently, if she is emotionally involved with a client it's not ethical for her to stay on as their nurse.  She'll be able to visit as a friend in two months."

"Two months is a long time," noted Rebecca.

"I'll manage," said Bucky.  "Amina, I need to take a nap.  Are you going to be here for a while?"

"For about another hour," she said, looking at the clock on the wall.  "Sweet dreams."

Rebecca snorted as Amina giggled.  Bucky’s face coloured up a bit but nothing was going to affect the good feeling he had since he kissed Tracey.  Kicking his shoes off, he laid on top of the bed.  The window was open and he could hear bird song outside.  Focussing on that he fell into an easy sleep quickly.

There's a song playing as he and Tracey are standing close to each other.  He's heard it on the radio before but he doesn't know the title or who sings it.  The lyrics include references to Rudolph Valentino and Greta Garbo but what he really likes is that he's in a suit, Tracey is in a dress and they begin dancing to this song.  They're in a garden, with fairy lights all around, and the moon is making everything glow in its silvery light.  The song ends with him falling in love with her and what is even better, her falling in love with him.  As the dream fades to darkness Bucky kisses Tracey passionately.

Bucky opened his eyes and sat up.  That song was in his head.  He could hear it but except for Valentino, Garbo and falling in love he couldn't discern the rest of the lyrics.  He got up and noticed Rebecca was asleep on her bed.  For a minute he watched her chest rise and fall as she rested, then he closed the door.  A note was on the kitchen counter.

I helped Mrs. Rebecca go to bed at 3:30 pm and left shortly after.  I'm happy for you and Miss Tracey.  She is worth waiting for.  I will see you Thursday for my regular shift.

Amina Nyok

He smiled then opened the fridge and took out the chicken breasts he defrosted.  He also took out mushrooms, baby spinach and three cloves of garlic.  He sliced the mushrooms, crushed the garlic and put them both in the frying pan with some olive oil, then added the baby spinach and some thyme.  While that cooked he sliced pockets in the chicken and seasoned them with salt and pepper.  He stuffed the mushroom filling in the pockets, added some mozzarella and sealed the pockets with toothpicks.  Adding some more butter to the frying pan he added the chicken breasts and browned them then transferred them to a baking dish.  For a moment he thought he heard something and he checked on Rebecca.

"Are you awake?" he asked quietly.

"Just," she said sleepily.  "You must have heard me stretching."

He chuckled and came to the side of the bed.  "Do you want to get up?" he asked.  "I can get you up now or continue to make supper and get you up later."

"Now is good," she said.  "Bathroom first."

He helped her sit up and transferred her into the bathroom.  As he lifted her up with one arm he helped her remove her pants and the diaper then lowered her onto the raised toilet seat.

"You good?" he asked.

She nodded and he went back to the kitchen to get the next set of ingredients out for the rice.  When she was done Rebecca called him for help then he carried her into the living room and placed her on the arm chair.  Turning on the TV he put it on the news and returned to the kitchen to continue making dinner.  Half an hour later it was all ready and he served her meal then went back for his.  They watched the news then Bucky watched Jeopardy with Rebecca, trying to guess the answers with her.  During a commercial break she looked at her brother.

"You usually read during these shows," she said.  "What's got you in a good mood?"

"I guess I feel good about Tracey," he said after a moment.  

"I'm glad for you," replied Rebecca.  "I just hope her replacement is as nice as she was."

"It'll be alright," said Bucky.

The commercial ended and they continued to watch Jeopardy.  By the time Kalyna came for her shift Rebecca was all ready for bed and Bucky read her another bed time story, this time a chapter from Tuesdays With Morrie.  He kissed her goodnight, said goodnight to Kalyna and ran to the docks.  The following morning Foggy was back with all the documents and they signed everything.

On Friday morning Bucky made sure the house was clean and he had coffee ready.  Amina had baked again, lovely almond cookies that he had a hard time not eating.  When the doorbell rang at 9:30 he went to the door, looked through the cutout window and saw an older woman waiting.  Her eyes grew big when she saw him.

"My goodness, it really is you," she said, then she offered her hand.  "Marie Peters.  I'm the public health nurse assigned to your sister, Rebecca Proctor.  You must be Bucky Barnes."

"I am," he said.  "Come in, please."

He introduced her to his sister and offered a coffee, bringing a small plate of the cookies which she smiled at.  She got right to business, checking Rebecca's blood pressure, pulse, heart, lungs, strength, and asking her several questions about her mental state.  When she was finished she sat back and looked at the two of them.

"Well, Tracey wasn't kidding," she said to Rebecca.  "You're lucky to have a brother who takes such good care of you.  The volunteers who look after her overnight must be good people.  As far as I can tell you're in excellent health.  As for you, Mr. Barnes ... well, most of us were wondering why Tracey would pull herself off this case but I get it now.  You're a handsome man for someone so old."

Bucky's face reddened and Rebecca smiled at this nurse.  "Even the volunteers could see there were sparks between them," she said.  "Tracey is a lovely lady.  How is she doing with her new cases?"

Marie looked at them blankly.  "She didn't tell you?" she asked.  "Tracey is on leave.  She's taken two months off to do some volunteer work in Central America."  Marie noticed Bucky's face.  "Oh dear, it looks like I let the cat out of the bag.  Look, don't see anything nefarious in this.  It was something that came up and she probably took it so that she wasn't tempted to make contact with you during the cooling off period.  If you care about her you'll accept that she'll be back in two months and you'll both be free to see each other."

Bucky nodded but both women could see the disappointment on his face.  When Marie left Bucky plopped himself down on the sofa and looked at Rebecca.

"Why would she leave and not tell me?" he asked.  "I can accept she would remove herself from temptation but to not even say goodbye?  What am I supposed to think?"

"Have faith in her Bucky," said Rebecca soothingly.  "It will be alright."

As happy as Bucky had been the previous few days once he heard Tracey was out of the country he seemed depressed to everyone who cared about him.  During the week the volunteers brought special baking to cheer him up.  While he was polite to them it was obvious their efforts were not enough to help him feel better.  After Marie's next visit the following Friday even she commented on his demeanour when he abruptly excused himself to go to the store while she was there.

"You'll have to excuse him," said Rebecca.  "Tracey really connected with him.  He's not happy she didn't say goodbye before leaving."

"I emailed her," replied Marie, lowering her voice even though they were the only ones there.  "She feels terrible about it, thinks she might have offended him."

Both women shook their heads over the couple.  Bucky returned shortly before Marie left, carrying a couple of bags of groceries in one hand and mail in the other.  He went straight to the kitchen to put things away then stood at the counter looking at the envelopes.  One of them caught his attention and he looked at it with his jaw set firmly.  Looking up as Marie said her goodbyes he waited until she left before he came into the living room and sat near Rebecca with the envelope.

"It's from Tracey," he said.  "Postmarked Belize."

"You going to read it?" asked Rebecca.

He glanced at her and opened the envelope, unfolded the letter and began reading it.  Rebecca watched as his face became more relaxed and soft.  Then he looked at his sister.

"She's sorry.  She wanted to tell me but was afraid of my reaction, that I would think she was abandoning me.  She did it so that she wasn't tempted to show up at the door."

"Does that make you feel better?" asked Rebecca.  

He flushed and nodded.  "I thought she changed her mind about me.  You know ... my issues were too much for her."

"Bucky, come here," ordered his sister.  He got up and kneeled before her as she took his hand.  "You are a good man.  You're kind, understanding, and you feel things deeply.  What you went through affected you.  Even I can see that.  What's important is that you keep on trying.  She obviously cares if she sent you this letter.  Even if you don't hear from her until she returns believe that she thinks about you.  Because you're worth it."

She placed her hand on his face and kissed his forehead.  He nodded his head in acknowledgement and hugged her.  Her words comforted him and he was glad to hear them.  Just at that moment his phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket.

"It's Sam," he said, as he touched the Accept button and put it to his ear.  "Hey, how's it going?"

"So, did you talk to that nurse?" asked Sam's voice on speaker.  

Bucky blushed, forgetting he had it on speaker.  Rebecca grinned at him and sat back.  

"Yeah, we talked," said Bucky.  "She already asked to be released from Rebecca's case.  There's a two month cooling off period where we can't communicate so she's gone to Belize to do some volunteer nursing work there."

"That will go by fast," said Sam.  "Listen, I have some lobbying to do in Washington next week.  You up to having me sleep on your couch for next weekend?  Figured it was time to connect with my friend and his sister.  How you doing, Rebecca?  Did he leave the phone on speaker?"

"Yes, he did Sam," laughed Rebecca.  "You're more than welcome to spend the weekend.  Maybe you and I can go out for a night on the town.  Hit up a blues club or something."

"I like your style," said Sam.  "You're a lot more fun than your brother."

"I like the blues," said Bucky weakly.  "Rebecca's usually in bed by 9:30.  Those places don't even get going until then."  Rebecca punched him on the arm and Bucky recoiled, rubbing the spot where she hit.  "Thanks, Sam.  My sister just assaulted me."

Sam chuckled.  "You're the one calling your younger sister old.  I'll see you next weekend."

"Hey Sam," said Rebecca.  "Bring the suit.  Perhaps you can make an appearance at the agency that's been helping us out.  They're great people and I know they would love to have a visit from Captain America."

"I was bringing the suit and I think that's a great idea," replied Sam.  "See you both.”

Bucky put his phone back in his pocket and stood up.  "How do you feel about pizza for dinner?" he asked.  "It's been a while."

"Loaded but no onions," said Rebecca with a smile.

"You got it," he replied, and searched his phone for the nearest pizza place, ordering two large loaded pizzas, no onions.  "You want a beer with that?  I could run out quickly and get some before they deliver."

"Sure," she answered.  "Leave me some money in case they come early."

He pulled out enough cash for her and headed out to get some cold beer, a two block run.  Quickly grabbing a six pack he brought it up to the cash register, noticing the cashier's face was red with some tear tracks.  She didn't make eye contact with him and he could feel his senses go on full alert.  Calming himself he listened for her heartbeat realizing it was pounding away.  What was more, there was another heartbeat, from under the counter in front of her.

"Hey, do you have any of those, what do you call them, coolers?" he asked, then he pointed below the counter and gave her a thumbs down.  "I looked but I couldn't find what I wanted.  Do you think you have more in back?"

She nodded and moved to help him when he saw the tip of a sawed off shotgun coming up from below.  Quicker than anyone could react Bucky grabbed the muzzle, yanking it up and out of the robber's hands, pulling him up with it.  The man grabbed the girl while holding a knife in his other hand but Bucky cocked the shotgun and placed it against the man's neck, using his left hand so he didn't get his fingerprints on it.

"I can fire this before you take your next breath," said Bucky.  "Put the knife on the counter and let her go." The man did as he was told and Bucky looked at the woman.  "You okay?  Go ahead and call the police.  He's not going anywhere."

She phoned the police then came around to Bucky.  He put his arm around her shoulder as she began to cry.  Keeping his eye on the robber Bucky tried to calm her.

"You'll be okay," he said.  "I've dealt with assholes like this before.  They're cowards."

"Thank you," she said, as her sobs subsided.  "I thought he would kill me.  Three other people came in and said nothing.  Just bought their stuff and left."

"Well, I'm not them, am I," stated Bucky.  They could hear the sirens get closer.  "Police are almost here."  He looked at the guy.  "Get down on the floor and put your hands behind your head.  Do it, before my trigger finger twitches.”

The man did as he was told and Bucky put the gun on the counter beside the knife.  When the police arrived he pointed to the man on the ground.  Quickly he told them his name and what he did.

"Listen, I've left my sister alone at the house," he said.  "She's in a wheelchair and isn't supposed to be on her own for too long.  Can you come and take my statement there?  She's probably wondering where I am as I was only supposed to be here a few minutes."

Bucky showed them his driver's licence to confirm his address and the officer said he could go.  The girl hugged him then gave him his six pack in thanks.  He ran back home and found the pizza delivery guy sitting in the living room with Rebecca, chatting.

"Here he is," she said.  "What took you so long?  I didn't have enough money.  I need another eight dollars"

"Sorry," said Bucky, pulling out a ten dollar bill and handing it to the man.  "Would you believe the store was being robbed?  Poor kid at the till was terrified.  The police are coming here to take my statement."

The man looked at the ten dollars and pushed it back to Bucky.  "Keep it.  If you stopped a robbery I can cover the rest of bill."

"No, I couldn't ask that of you," said Bucky.  "Pay it forward.  I'm good."

The man nodded and left.  Bucky took the pizzas into the kitchen, getting some plates out.  He put two pieces on a plate for Rebecca and brought it out with a beer.  Then he put four pieces on his plate and opened a beer for himself.  Just as he sat down the doorbell rang and he opened it to the policeman who came to take his statement.  As Rebecca sat and beamed at her brother he told the officer what happened.  After Bucky signed off on his statement the officer stood up and offered Bucky his hand.

"I heard of you when you were the Winter Soldier," he said.  "I was on duty when you and Captain America took on those Flag Smashers.  You did good that night.  You did good today.  It's been an honour to meet you Mr. Barnes.  You're a good man."

Nodding at Rebecca the officer left and she ate her second piece of pizza, proud that her brother was Bucky Barnes.

Chapter 4>>

Series Masterlist

Please support the author by reblogging.

[impossiblepackage]

say, i heard you reblog a post about role playing games. do you happen to know of any ones that i, a beginner, could feasibly get into in this day and age? i tried DnD but a combination of not having anybody to play with (whether irl or online) and a dissatisfaction with low level boringness kind of made it fizzle out for me

oh hey an ask from 3 months ago that I didn't even see. hi.

ANYWAY. First things first, i cannot recommend @theresattrpgforthat enough. Ain't nobody better at recommending rpgs than that blog right there. Now, on to my thoughts.

If you want a DnD-like rpg, Pathfinder 2nd Edition is gonna be my first recommendation. It's harder to find games for on account of being significantly less popular than dnd5e but it's probably the 2nd most popular game. It's also completely free, with everything being hosted on https://2e.aonprd.com/. It's got everything except adventures, those ya gotta buy. For the next 10 days, there's a humble bundle that includes PDFs of lots of the pre-remaster legacy books, and includes a couple adventures, including a whole adventure path going from level 1 to 20. As a whole, the game is different to dnd but it's recognizable. Big fan myself, and paizo isn't a bunch of pricks. The setting is also super gay. There's a potion of trans your gender, and one of the main religions in the world is the worship of 3 gods in lesbian polycule.

Ironsworn: probably my favorite RPG, period. (also has a space version, that works the same way). It is narrative focused, and designed for solo play or in groups with no GM. Works just as well by yourself, as a duo, in a small group, or in a traditional way with a few players and a GM. It's structured around it's vow system. Your character makes a vow, you decide how difficult that vow should be to accomplish, and as you do things that advance it, you mark progress. Eventually, you make a roll to try and fulfill the vow, with the difficulty determined by how much progress you've made. If you fail that roll, it's bad. Cool thing is that just about everything works that way. Undertaking a journey, delving a dungeon, fighting a dude, it's all handled with the same system. It's a game about perseverance and struggle and relationships, both with people and with places. also very fun to play for writing practice. It's mechanics are rooted in it's setting, but there's no reason you couldn't play it in basically any setting. the youtube channel Me, Myself, And Die is, essentially, Critical Role But It's Solo RPGs, and he did a great season where he played Ironsworn, check it out. Also, Basement Fort on youtube did a duo playthrough. I've only seen the first episode but it seems like a fun watch, as well as showing off duo gameplay.

the Witcher RPG: i haven't played this myself or even looked at the books yet, but everything I've heard about this game has me super excited about it. the general consesus seems to be "yo this is wayyyy better than I thought it would be, why aren't more people playing this, what the fuck". If somebody more familiar wants to talk about it, that'd be dope.

gonna ramble about the rest much less, LIGHTNING ROUND OF RECOMMENDATIONS

Dungeon World: same genre as dnd, but much less crunchy gameplay. Much easier to learn.

Kids On Bikes: it's Stranger Things but as a ttrpg.

Call of Cthulhu: get spooky, idiot. The players are investigators unraveling some mystery or another, and trying to keep their sanity in the face of some cosmic bullshit.

Lancer: it's about mechs! closer to anime-style mechs than battletech style, from what I can tell. I've heard good things.

Vampire: The Masquerade: you will NEVER guess what this is about. It's a classic, it's great, it pretty much redefined the way I think vampires should work. The new version of Werewolf: The Apocalypse is coming soon, and I'm real hyped for that, too.

Shadow Of The Demon Lord: my understanding is that this game is basically "DnD 5e, but good".

[traegorn]

Here's the thing about that ask I got this morning that sits with me. I feel like some folks don't really understand that Wicca is literally my religion.

The historic conflation of Wicca with Witchcraft has led to a lot of (well deserved) pushback that not all Witchcraft is religious. People have had to constantly clarify that Witchcraft itself is not a religion.

And that's important.

But I also think that makes some people forget that for a good chunk of us... these are literally our religious beliefs. Like someone asks me why I'm still a Wiccan even though there have been problematic members of the faith or its complicated history and I'm like... do you not know how faith works?

Over the decades I have modified my rituals to remove appropriated elements (my track record is pretty good, but yeah, even I have fucked up). And I didn't come to this faith because of the wisdom of any one person -- in fact part of what brought me in was the absolute lack of hierarchy outside of specific traditions. No Wiccan is any more special than another (or than any other person of any other kind).

And conversations with our fellow witches about appropriation and not trying to force our personal gnosis down other's throats are important.

But why is it assumed that my inner spiritual life is so shallow that pointing out that Gerald Gardner was a dick would shatter my world? Is there that little respect or understanding of what faith actually is?

I know that a lot of folks who say this stuff grew up Christian, and it's a religion that often pushed folks to pretend to believe harder than they do. Or have folks repeat things as kids, and just say and do them because that's what they're supposed to without analyzing it further when they grow up. And maybe that's been their only example of someone with faith in their lives, and why they think it's as fragile as glass.

But that's not how it works for a lot of us. And maybe it's getting a little exhausting having to justify my existence to strangers on the internet.

[scientia-rex]

I do a lot of blocking, and much of it is not "oh this person is so morally abhorrent," but rather "reading your Hot Takes is annoying and exhausting and you do them on my posts." Yet again, I am not an influencer and I don't aspire to be one; my livelihood and my self-worth come from a different place than "many strangers on the Internet thinking I'm right about stuff." Think about any influencer; have they had a scandal of some sort, or have they just not been on the Internet long enough/gotten famous enough? Humans will, inevitably, the more you learn about them, disappoint you, because they are not you. They don't share your exact experiences and values. And to expect them to, in the sterile environment of text on a screen, is to set yourself up to be disappointed in them. If you knew them in real life, you'd find yourself making compromises--yes, perhaps they think this, but I know they'll still come pick me up if I need a ride; this opinion is too much for me to look at them the same way, but this other opinion is something I can understand if not condone. Society isn't about finding the people who think exactly the same things you do and forming an impenetrable mass. Religion and politics have always tried to make it like that, and it's never worked. Humans are all different and navigating that is non-negotiable. Even people with identical upbringings turn out with different opinions--you can't expect thousands of people to march in perfect lockstep with you, you can't scream them into it, you can't disregard them if they don't.

Social media is built to make you angry, because when you're angry you make them more money. Don't forget that when you're trying to use these platforms to learn and make friends and have fun. That's not what the platforms are built for. You can use something in a way it's not intended, but it may bend you to its will.

[mbrainspaz]

Look when my gran called me yesterday to convince me to go out for drink with my no contact fundamentalist mom expectations were set accordingly. Did I need 'mom finally tries to make amends for calling me demon possessed when I came out as gender fluid' on my Moving Over An Hour Away And Starting A New Job In The Same Week bingo card? No, I did not. But I'm also feeling tough as nails until the inevitable collapse, so why not? Gran was like "don't worry—I'll be there to support you both!" [That'd be a first.]

Predictably most of our conversation consisted of mom going 'why can't I just love you even though I disagree with "the decisions you've made"' and me going 'if you loved me you'd at least try to understand how ridiculous you sound when you say that.' And I did go into it a bit more. We were definitely trying to build some kind of bridge. Well, mostly she was making excuses for why she didn't want to try, but at least she wasn't trying to be hurtful. She acknowledged a lot of the points I made but I've come to learn that that won't mean anything the next day.

Gran sat in the corner of the booth watching Reels about how to disassemble a faucet or something after she lost track of the conversation. I started with a metaphor about religion as a box and she was checked out for the rest.

I don't feel like we resolved much after talking for over an hour. The main point I tried to make was that identity labels are just a tool for people who want to be better understood by other people, and that self-knowledge and self-acceptance are the path to... doing more good than harm, within and without religion. I ended on a plea for her to ask more questions and show an ounce of curiosity about 'the gender stuff' if she actually wants to have a relationship with me. She was noncommittal about that so I was noncommittal about unblocking her number.

I'm afraid what she still really wants is to be a spectator. She basically said as much. She said she misses seeing my facebook stories (she could watch them on instagram where my profile is public but she never tried that hard) and watching shows with me. I miss that too, I miss her a lot, but the superficial-ness of our relationship after I came out and she refused to acknowledge it really got to me. I tried to explain that again too. I know I have before.

Went to the restroom on my way out. I usually use the women's because they're cleaner but it's whatever. I was washing my hands when someone else walked in, did a double take, checked the sign on the door, and muttered 'oh it's right.' Took every last shred of my self control not to cackle at the absurdity of some stranger seeing, in .05 seconds, what my family have been willfully blind to for years. It happens all the time.

[littlegreenfag-apology-archive]

Hey, it's Dean/littlegreenfag. I don't really know how to open this, honestly, and don't really want to spend much time on that-- I kind of want this to be as succinct but comprehensive as possible. This is a sort of one-time, one-off account-- its as complete as an apology I can really give you guys. This account is going to do that; be as complete as a collection of addresses as I can really make, because I honestly want to be able to continue to, well.. exist on the internet. I am going to be making a new account (pretty obviously not this one) and I ask that you guys please don't just go and harass it without cause, if you find it. I'd really appreciate that. I do not want to be ran off of every platform I go to with pitchforks. I've sorted this into a bulleted list for efficiency's sake. When I read through my callout post, and the callout blog, i noticed a lot of, like.. fluff words. I'm trying to cut down on that here. It is completely and totally true that I’m not Romani. I have confessed to this, both on the account I deleted and many times afterwards, and am incredibly sorry for telling that lie. I first told it nearly a decade ago, when I wasn't even a teenager yet, and didn’t fully consider or understand the severity of the lie, and how disgusting it was. I know that’s no excuse, and that even as an eleven year-old I should have known better. I just want you to know the context-- this is not an excuse, or a justification, or even me trying to provide a reason-- it's just wrong. I should have absolutely confessed earlier, but I was too afraid to admit it. It spiraled out of control, and I’m sorry that I let it get to that level. I completely understand and accept if some people will not forgive me for this, and I am deeply, extremely sorry to all the people i hurt with that lie. I have no expectation of forgiveness, nor expectation of 'total understanding.' I'm just really sorry for this lie i told.

I am Jewish, and I will continue to say I am Jewish, but there seems to be quite literally no way for me to prove that to anyone short of doxxing myself. The people claiming I was lying about being Jewish (and even going so far as to call my dead relatives “Holocaust OCs”) are one of the things that hurt the most. Due to the nature of my situation, I can no longer practice my religion. I am going to a college in Michigan next fall, and there’s a nearby synagogue. I plan to once again become a fully observant Jew at that point. I have seen people and heard of people claiming that I am a polish catholic pretending to be jewish for pity points, and going so far as to release entire videos of scrolling through "my" dms with the account where I claim to be 'soon converting' to judaism. this account has not, and HAD not, ever reached out to me when they released the callout post-- even before I had deleted my old account. I have quite literally NEVER dmed them before, and it is disgusting that people would go so far to continue to make new posts and dedicate entire accounts to claiming new and increasingly absurd things about my past out of nowhere besides a callout post. I, pretty frankly and politely as possible, don't really care if you guys believe if I'm jewish or not, but my 'true jewishness' is not and will never be something for people to make judgements about.

-I understand that I have hurt a lot of people with the lie that I told, and they have every right to be mad. However, it has escalated to a sort of harassment that I find unacceptable. Complete strangers, people who didn’t even know me before I deactivated, were calling me a bitch and a cunt and saying that my parents “should knock some sense into me” and that I should put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. Your anger is completely valid, but that level of insults and harassment I was receiving was a genuinely terrifying margin. Again-- nobody is under any obligation to forgive me, but threats against my life and the life of my pets is not something I ever want to receive.-The “littlegreenfag-archive” blog has threatened to dox me many times, both directly on anon on my account and indirectly through their posts. They, allegedly, know my address and the contact information of both of my parents. They have also released my deadnames and childhood nicknames in a post, another behavior that I find unacceptable and extremely creepy. Their claims to have been 'suggesting multiple times in anon for me to come clean' are completely false-- I only received a few messages from them in my inbox, all of which were threats. I do not know how this person got my information and I do not know where this person got my information, but I do not think it is solely for their care about romani or jewish people that they did this. -All I want is privacy. I am an adult, and would like to have that wish respected. Claiming I should be 'stuck in a psych ward', that I'm a narcissist, that somebody should 'contact my parents' are all incredibly invasive and infantilizing things for people to do. Alongside all of this, some of the things that people claim I was lying about were things that I have no ethical way of proving. I am autistic, I have spent time in a psychiatric ward, I am currently being abused by my parents, and I was raped as a child— and I should not have to prove that to you people. Those are disgusting things to have to prove to people. Just for the fact that I discuss them on my blog does not make any of you entitled to that information, nor entitled to be able to speculate and degrade. People used my admitting to not being romani (once again, an incredibly disgusting thing that I did. I am not diminishing that.) to claim that almost every single thing I've said about myself is a lie– going so far as to claim I am, apparently, a trust fund kid? These are all weird and, again, invasive things to just go and make up. I am not going to prove to you that I grew up poor, or fat, or anything like that. None of you are entitled to that information.

All I want is to continue to exist on the internet without being harassed. As I stated before, I am incredibly, extremely, sorry. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to the people that I hurt, I will do it– but I understand if many of my previous mutuals and friends never want contact with me again, and accept that. I am not entitled to that and am under no presumption that I am. I know that many of my friendships have ended over this, but I don’t want this to completely ruin any chance I have at making new friends. People called me a coward when I deleted my blog, but those same people told me to delete my blog. It’s paradoxical and confusing to me, and I’ve realized that there really is no end to this campaign besides to continue to harass me and slander me for their own personal enjoyment and feeling of justice with renewed ‘callout’ campaigns– the end goal achieves literally nothing besides me getting harassed. I have a job, I’m getting out of the personal situation I am in, and, again I am a person who wants to be able to just exist on the internet. This isn’t me asking for pity, or for complete and total forgiveness- it's just an apology. No expectation attached. I am incredibly and deeply sorry for all the harm I’ve caused.

For tags; I'd like to clarify this is not a plea for attention- this isn't for 'reach' or 'distance' either, nor am i trying to be performative in @ing you all. I just genuinely want some of you to see this post to be able to apologize more directly, because many of you were former friends who i never got a chance to apologize to and i care deeply about. I have no expectation for any of you to forgive me, and I wish you all the best. @puzzlekinq @dykeredhood @dykeseesgod @official-saul-goodman @bocceclub @ivankaramazovsgf @rootlessneopolitan @murderballadeer @storm-of-feathers @pitbolshevik @sheburnedlikeabride @professionalpansy @manicpixieginger @pillow-princeps @lilacgueerr @mortalityplays @jinnazah @saturniidace @strangeauthor @shirleyjacksonesque @piratesofthecarabiner @helloitsbee @lafemmemacabre @egirlgarak

edit: @'s spoofed on me. sorry, this looks kinda goofy. I'm going to leave them, though.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hey there! A bit late but i'm here for the ask game! (*´v｀*) I'd like to ask 1, 11, 23, 63, 78 and 88 but i know it's a lot so no pressure, please feel free to ignore any of them if you don't feel like answering it! 🫂💖

Hi!!! Not late, never late! I will put this under the cut because ~lenght~. These are all very good questions, thank you Lev 💙🪲

(What’s your biggest insecurity? Do you like who you are around people? Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you ever get paranoid? What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends? What kinds of things confuse you?)

1 - What’s your biggest insecurity?

My body, which is such a sad answer, but it's true. I'm working on it. My voice - some people do not take me seriously because I have a "girly voice", especially when stressed, even though it's really not that high pitched. I had to force my Big Girl Sexy Deeper Voice out at my previous job just to get my points across. Again, sad.

Also my inability of expressing my feelings out loud. I write it a lot, but I can't genuinely remember the last time I said the words "I love you" with my own voice.

I know why I am the way I am, and I wish it didn't get to me, but this will be my cross to bear until the end of my days. I think I try to be as loudly affectionate as possible here, because I'm hoping it will make it easier for me irl.

11 - Do you like who you are around people?

Depends on the people, really. I like the way I am around my friends, even if there are parts of me I supress. I wish I was better around my sister - she deserves more than I am, and it frustrates me that I sometimes act like our parents towards her. It kills me inside.

I don't know how to answer in relation to my parents. On one hand, it's very relieving to be amongst people who understand certain parts of me without me having to justify or explain (something about being a 1st gen immigrant child lol). On the other, being at home puts me back to my 16yo mindset, when I was really angry and sad and struggling, and I hate it.

With strangers, it really depends. I am too anxious to notice haha. I just really like to be alone, I suppose. It's easier that way, at least.

23 - Do you believe in an afterlife?

Yes! I am very much Christian, so I do believe in heaven/hell, and the concept of an afterlife.

I don't really talk about it much here, because I know there are so many of you who have been failed and mistreated in the name of religion (which was not how any of this was supposed to happen, and it really breaks my heart) and prefer to steer away, which I 100% understand. Also, some people get extremely weird around Christians, and assume a number of things without even talking to them, so I spare myself the unpleasantness. I hope this makes some sense!

63 - Do you ever get paranoid?

Baby, anxiety is my middle name. I get paranoid about things you could never imagine. 😎 But yeah.

Every time I hear my door bell ringing, or knocking, I always think it's the police coming to get me, even thought the most illegal thing I've done is download music?? And my family is... normal. No suspicious activity or anything, so I really don't understand why. Make it make sense.

78 - What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends?

There isn't much I'm not comfortable with tbh. My friends have seen me at my worse, and we know almost everything about each other. We've been friends for a very long time.

Maybe just being affectionate? I have a really hard time with that, but it gets easier around them. And they know how unhinged I am about my blorbos, so I don't really need to censor myself haha. I do a little code-switching. I speak a bit differently around my family, and with them I tend to use a more generalised/commonly accepted language, rather then my parent's countries expressions.

88 - What kinds of things confuse you?

LIFE IN GENERAL. How do you make decisons? How do you know you're in the right path?

Math. Cars. Sports. It's all Simlish to me lmao.