#i'm probably not going to devote anymore time on this but wanted to at least get these thoughts out there before i move on

[xplrvibes]

Here's the rundown someone posted of SEG's interview with Kristin on Reddit.

Kristin seems most angry at Seth and says most of his tweet was a lie (it's becoming a game of she says, he says) that he's a horrible kid and has to have something wrong with him or he was possessed. She was displeased to hear they'd made Seth a producer following the event (though I don't think they ever did? So this part confuses me). Seth is also apparently blacklisted from all haunted locations in the state (this does not extend to SnC who are still welcome at most locations) She is/was very disappointed SnC continue to give Seth a platform and continue to film content with him though.

She seems annoyed by Colby, but she does not seem to hold him accountable for the incident with Seth, apparently that was Seth alone and she does not think SnC really are to blame for that comment. However she was very angry about the bear and kept referring to him as a child who broke her stuff. (Editing to add- He did not pay for the bear, but the producer at the time offered to and she said she refused payment, he did however apologise and she accepted the apology, it's up in the air if he apologised because he was caught or not though)

She seems annoyed by their producer Zach, who was the one who informed her the video was coming. This is the part where she reveals she was not the one who was the source and was actually very upset that it leaked originally and is now mistrusting of the other members of the Bellaire staff. However she is now glad the video is out, especially the part with Seth as she feels it needs addressing and was like 'it's a long time coming'. (She seems generally glad overall that the video is out now and genuinely likes SEG and his content, says she finds his sass funny, though she did admit to not being subscribed yet as she's still on the fence as to whether she wants to follow him or not)

But back to Zach, apparently he was very rude to her over the phone and accused her of being a sell out and used lots of bad language and she had to defend herself over the phone and ended up hanging up on him. At some point he also offered to organise a statement for her but never contacted her again and generally came across as a bit of an asshole.

She says there is missing footage and they did more things, but she would not say what it was and the fact the footage has apparently gone 'missing' is suspicious to me personally but this is not about my opinion. just trying to do a fair summary post, LOL. She says the staff working that day were furious with them, refused to accept their apology, refused to shake their hand but said they would not tattle on them to other haunted locations as they wanted to give them a chance to prove they could be better. The fact they're not black listed like Seth is suggested they listened at least.

Kristin admits to getting the police involved cos she wanted to scare them, she also admits she did several things that day she was not proud of herself because she wanted to get back at them. She called herself rightfully petty and said the whole event was a bit of a mess really from all parties involved.

Despite all this she gushes about Sam and states he's the innocent party in all this. That he was lovely the entire time and seems to be the man even in the alleged missing content who just chose not to get involved. She seemed upset that his name was being dragged through the dirt just because he's one half of Sam and Colby. She also said he was the one most afraid of the police when they came into the room despite the fact he was the innocent party in all of this. She said the worst thing he did was get sassy when she sat them down at the table to talk to them before the police arrived.

(Also editing to add Seth definitely comes off the worst in the whole thing and gets a lot more focus than either Sam or Colby, though Colby also gets a lot of side eyeing because he behaved like a child and Sam is apparently the innocent one in all of this, she seemed most upset by all of Seth's stuff tbh).

Will add to the redditors summary that she says youtube investigators are very different from actually paranormal investigators as it's a lot more theatrical and not so much about the research than it is about getting footage of exciting things to entertain an audience. She said there's nothing wrong with that, but it is worth being aware of in regards to their content and attitude when they go to haunted locations.

Hope this helps?

This does help, thanks anon!

Personally speaking, I find this whole thing ridiculous and laughable, which is why I really haven't been talking about it much (cause I don't find it interesting or newsworthy) - but after reading this, I really am starting to have a whole lot more questions about this whole thing than I did in the beginning.

First of all, I don't really care about Seth one way or the other, so whatever happens there, happens - but there are a few problems with her statement about him. He is not, was not and will never be a producer of snc's content. They have a producer (as she knows, cause she apparently spent time shitting all over him lol). Idk where she got that info but that is just categorically not true.

Also, he is not banned from every place in Ohio, since he's filmed in Ohio since. And if she's trying to claim that he's banned from every place in the town Bellaire is in, well, she must have made that edict after she took him, Sam and that unpleasant man-child Colby to the Ross House and filmed a smiling, giggling video with them for xplrclub. :)

Alluding to him being possessed just makes me laugh. Way to keep the mystique going about the paranormal - surprised Mr. Debunker let that one go by without comment lol.

She has a right to be angry with Seth and to not want to work with him or be around him, absolutely. But this all coming out two years later and both her and Seth claiming that things happened behind the scenes that weren't made public, but neither extrapolating on that, just makes me instantly lose interest in what either side has to say. I call it a draw. Deal with it personally, and don't make me hear about it anymore lol.

As for Colby? Just lol. I really don't care about this bear thing. I saw the footage of him kicking the thing...I also saw the footage of the thing working later that night, so my thought is that he was being an idiot, didn't realize he broke it as badly as he did, and was probably surprised when he found out that she was bringing the cops into the situation over a fucking magical ghost talking bear.

I find him being labeled as "annoying" kind of lowkey hilarious, considering this is Colby the people pleasing panicky pete we are talking about - but I will say that I looked back at my old review of the Bellaire House video and I even mentioned in there that there was a point where he seemed like he didn't believe in some of the weird shit she was doing, so maybe his skepticism translated well enough that she felt it and didn't appreciate it, who knows. I can see where some of his hyperactive energy can be annoying or seem disrespectful to people, but again, I don't think that's really newsworthy in the brand scheme of things. Its just a matter of perspective, I guess.

Regardless, who cares? Nobody is perfect, everyone has days where they aren't at their best and people they don't vibe with. I still don't see how something like this is all that important, considering there are tons of other places that have gushed about snc and their time spent there.

I have said from the very beginning that this whole thing would wind up at Colby's feet and he'd have to be the one to make a notes app, cause that's how it always happens lol. So, we'll see if he caves and says something or just lets it ride.

As for Zach...the way I hear it, snc gave text messages and email conversations between Zach and Kristen to this SEG guy that show that they offered to and did wind up paying for the bear, so someone is lying here, straight up.

If he went off on her, then that is not cool or professional of him to do and snc can deal with that, as he is their employee. But guess what? I don't care about Zach at all, either, so I am wholly uninterested in how that pans out lol.

I don't know, this whole thing is just so...clouty, to me. The way I hear it, this woman didn't have anything to do with this footage being leaked to SEG and was upset by it leaking, and yet she tried to leak it herself to TMZ. Hmmm. Also, she claims to have had all these problems with them, yet took them to the Ross House later and was all kinds of smiles while they filmed there.

Also, getting the police involved as a scare tactic over something like this is such a small town move lmao, my local cops would just laugh and hang up on me if I ever called them for anything less than aggravated assault. Good lord.

Overall, this whole thing seems like it's being blown out of proportion for clout and drama and while that's fun and all, I don't see this being anything that goes much farther than it already did cause the nature of the drama is just...kind of silly, lol.

Anyway, thanks for the recap!

[l-in-the-light]

Some thoughts on the relationship between Law and Corazon? Is Law obsessed with Cora? Are there romantic vibes (maybe Law would chose a partner that reminds him of Cora 🤔)? Sometimes I have the impression he values him more than his dead family🙄 I mean we never hear him saying he wants revenge for Flevance.

Tbh I see why you would think that, because I also used to think this way. Like everything Law does is for Cora-san, but never for Flevance, for his parents or his sister. This won't be the usual analysis post, but more like me trying to put everything Law did so far into a bigger picture, to reveal what his actual, longterm goals might be. But first, let's start with Law's love for Corazon.

Who is Cora-san to Law? Many people say a parent, a sibling, a religious figure (because of his devotion and obsession), but I think it's actually none of these. I think Corazon is for Law what Oden is for Yamato. Yamato idolizes Oden, wants to be like Oden, but Oden also gave him hope, a dream, a heart (you could say), because before Oden all Yamato had was Kaido and Kaido took away Yamato's freedom long before Oden even happened. He expected Yamato to be the next ruler of Wano for him, to continue in his footsteps, ever since Yamato was born. Yamato's own wishes didn't matter. But the moment Yamato saw Oden everything changed. It's exactly how Ace says it "you're imprisoned by cuffs, but why would you let him cage your heart as well?". Oden was that light for Yamato he finally saw in the darkness, passion, love for the country and people in it, freedom. And he wanted that too, probably for the very first time, for himself. That's why Yamato carries Oden in his heart wherever he goes. Because Oden just by existing and loving his country gives Yamato hope and strength to keep going. Just like Law carries Cora-san in his heart wherever he goes as well.

Cora-san is his saviour, without him, Law would not be alive anymore. But more importantly he saved Law's heart, he showed him love, compassion, he treated him like a person, not a monster. And he gave him all that when Law needed it the most, literally like a hand of salvation. In that case it indeed feels a bit religious. Does it mean Cora-san is more important for Law than his parents? Not neccessarily, let's not forget Law still has at least one tattoo in memory of Flevance, also he still keeps his hat with him at all times and that's his only memento of his family, most likely. But Cora-san is the one who gave Law a "new life", the same way Yamato received "new life" from Oden, even though they didn't even talk once. And that new life is definitely like a new (re)birth for both of them, that's why Cora-san and Oden will never get replaced in their hearts. Taking away Oden from Yamato will leave him with nothing, and while maybe it wouldn't be as drastic for Law, it would still remove the core of who he believes himself to be and cause a major inner crisis.

In another translation of this line, Law says "It's thanks to Cora I'm what I am now". Cora-san is indeed always on Law's mind, just like Oden is always on Yamato's mind. They both try to live like their idols, Law even called his crew the Heart Pirates in honour of Cora-san, but he also mimicks Cora in many ways: how he walks, how he sits, not to mention that silencing spell he used in battle. Yamato as well, even to the point of him changing his gender and wearing Oden-like clothes. Those hearts on Law's clothes also resemble a bit Cora-san's clothes that always had some heart-like motifs. Would you call it idolatry to the point of obsession? Personally, it reminds me of fans behaviour towards their boyband/girlband idols, especially in Japan. I know it, because I'm also part of that fandom. One of my idols has a special place in his hometown and he talked about it in one of his concerts. Next time he knows he hears from his friend reporting him that fans are now flooding that spot, because they all want to see it. They all want to experience that special connection and treasure it inside their hearts. That's devotion and obsession, sure, but you know, I also think it's really beautiful when the love you have for someone expands to places and things they love, cherishing them like they're special now to you as well. And it doesn't matter if that love is romantic, platonic, family-like, worshipping, because love is just love. If you feel it, you get it. It's that special feeling, the warmth, you carry with you everywhere you go and want to share with the world (or keep it close to your heart, or, sometimes, even both?).

So do I think Law has romantic feelings for Corazon? Nope. But he does love him the most in the world. Would Law want his partner to remind him of Corazon? That's a tricky one though. I basically think Law has a thing for cheerful people (Heart Pirates are cheerful, Bepo is joyful, Luffy is also full of smiles and joy), because he surrounds himself with them. But then one thing doesn't really leave my thoughts: why is Sanji the only one who is called by his title "Blackleg-ya" besides "Strawhat-ya"? Zoro, Nami, Chopper, they're all called by their names or surnames, not counting the few exceptions who get no name/title at all. I can understand why Luffy is privileaged considering the importance of their Sabaody meeting, but why is Sanji? They seem to have no connection. And then I realized what LawSan shippers probably did forever ago already: Sanji is a caring blond guy who smokes like crazy. And that must remind Law of Corazon. And that's the only reason why Sanji gets the extra respect (the onigiri though probably helped as well, ngl!). So I guess I have to reluctantly agree that maybe he has a soft spot for smoking blond guys, because they remind him of his beloved Cora-san. Law seems to be a pretty sentimental guy, so it does make sense.

Now let's move on to the question you didn't ask but sort of asked: does it all mean Flevance or his family doesn't matter to Law anymore?

For starters, Law's goals are very obscure and not really explained well in the plot. But let's look at "waves" that are the result of his plan to defeat Kaido and Mingo. Just the news of Doflamingo quitting warlords put the whole New World in a state of panic. It kickstarted rebellion in Dressrosa. Rulers of kingdoms in the middle of wars started to feel anxious, because they got their weapons from Doflamingo. Kaido was also in trouble, ofc. But it's not just that: right after Dressrosa Big Mom suddenly became interested in Germa... seems she was also benefitting from her deals with Doffy (it shouldn't surprise us, he did say he was holding reins to every emperor and monster there is in the new world!) and with Doffy out of the picture, she was in emergency to find a new business partner. Why Germa? Because of his scientifical research. Many of those kids of Big Mom might also not have been "naturally" born, who knows.

In the end those who benefitted the most from Law's plan were Revolutionary Army (they gained weapons, many nations stopped wars and they could instead influence them for rebellion), Blackbeard (unfortunately) and Buggy (his business was suddenly flourishing). After Wano repercussions for the world grew even bigger, but especially in one direction: World Government. We were told Kaido and Orochi did business with World Government, that's how they got their weapons. Now they're kinda in a pinch, aren't they? They can't get them from Kaido, they can't get them from Doflamingo. This was a huge blow to the Government.

And then we also have Sword, which is rumoured to aim it's blade against World Government or at least Marines in some way. Law clearly has some connections to Drake, whether we believe he's part of Sword himself or not doesn't matter (I know those theories are floating around, and I personally think they're just scratching the tip of the iceberg).

Now let's go back to Flevance. Who was responsible for the tragedy?

World Government. And let's not forget for Law World Government means also Navy. They're both guilty. Taking down Kaido helped Wano, ofc, but it also hugely impacted World Government's sources for supplies of weapons. Taking down Doflamingo freed Dressrosa, sure, but it also eliminated a person that was Government's errand boy, basically. That's another blow aimed at Government. It's all about weakening them, they're extremely strong enemy that no one can take on alone, overpowered, cutting them off from supplies sounds like a good first step towards taking them down, wouldn't you agree? That's a similar thing to what Revolutionary Army did to Marie Geoise, btw.

But then, Law said he only cared for taking revenge on Doflamingo, didn't he? That he has been living only for that purpose. Actually... that's not true, he says some really contradictionary things about his own goal:

Let's sum it up: his goal is to fullfill Cora-san's wish, to free himself (because that's what Cora-san wanted for him, to be free), to pull the trigger Cora-san couldn't on that day 13 years ago. If he thinks Cora-san wanted to pull that trigger himself but couldn't then that would make sense. But that's disregarding the fact that Corazon probably never wanted to kill Doffy, he even said it himself that dying is the only option for him. Law knows it. When he says the line about the "trigger" it's about Law's own wish, he thinks Doflamingo should have died instead of Corazon after all. Cora-san's actual wish was for Law to be free, but Law thinks it was something else: stopping Doflamingo. There are like multiple different wishes clashing here, obscuring the truth from us. And let's not forget the most crucial information: Law never planned to take down Doflamingo by himself! The whole plan was about making Doflamingo resign from warlords so he leaves Dressrosa. Law didn't even care what will happen afterwards to him (though it's clear he wished Navy would take care of him, more so than he cared for Kaido to take care of Doflamingo).

And then we have this:

"I've lived the past 13 years so I could strike Doflamingo down" which sounds suspiciously close to what Kyros was saying before and Law was there to hear it. Yeah, I think he "borrowed" that reason from Kyros, because he didn't actually want to voice his real intention here. We never doubt Law in this scene, because later on he repeats the same thing to Sengoku, and we don't expect him to lie to Sengoku, right? But I think what Law said was aimed just to make Sengoku feel better (he can relate to that, Sengoku is just mourning Rosinante!), and Law keeps quiet and hesitating what to say before Sengoku literally pushes an answer out of him. Law is hiding things from us, many many things, and most important one of all: what's his ultimate objective.

Whatever Law's true goal is, it must be related to this conversation he has with Cavendish. "You will be in the eye of a storm", and Law's answer: "That's my intention".

Of course as we learn from his conversation with Sengoku, Law has perhaps some doubts whether going around and causing chaos (and perhaps aiming for Government's neck) is the thing he should be doing, and he voices his concern like this:

Is this what a D. should be doing? Is this what Law should be doing?

And then in Wano we learn that his next goal is, curiously, to find out the meaning of the D. He still wants the answer to this question (is this what he should be doing?), that's why. But I believe Law is already setting a plan in motion to take down the Government somehow. That plan is very dangerous and can swallow his life in the process. He never told Luffy about it, because he wants to keep him out and away from it, not to "drag him down" together with Law (trying to finish alliance early was probably also partially a prevention of this). I wouldn't say what Law is aiming for is suicidal, but he is ready to put his life on the line and die if that's what it takes. And I hope we will finally find out the full scale of this and his ultimate objective, before this guy does something extremely stupid and reckless.

Last, but not least: Law is basically the person pushing the new era (after Whitebeard's death) forward: he destroyed the gears in Punk Hazard, he announced the deaths of the emperors, all those moments carry symbolic meaning. But is Law trying to make a world a better place or is he just trying to get revenge on World Government? I guess only time will tell us. I have faith in him and I think he cares more about the world and people than it seems. But he definitely also wants to give them a payback, for Flevance, for his parents, and also for himself. And now that he's free, truly free (in his own words: he stopped Doflamingo so he's free to do whatever he wants now), what's stopping him? Probably his own heartbroken ass at the moment, because of what happened to Heart Pirates, but ugh. I really think it won't stop him for long. We will get that revenge, Law will be the vigilante we hoped he will be and it might break us.

I could ramble more about Law's plans, but it would enter highly speculative territory and basically I would be grasping at straws at every corner. But I think I did catch on to some obscure foreshadowing, once again. Anyway, anon, not sure if this is the answer you hoped for, but those are my honest thoughts based on overthinking a lot about plot, story and stuff like that, as well as about Law, like always.

[neptune-scythe]

Do you ever think about how Kaz making sure Inej is reunited with her brother is so he doesn't have to deal with his own grief?

Hear me out

Obviously he cares about Inej and wants her to have her family back and that's his main focus, or at least his main focus consciously

But here's the thing

They're mirrors of each other. Two people who lost brothers, Kaz's is gone forever ... But inej's is still out there (probably). Now we all know Kaz has never dealt with his grief, and probably barely even acknowledges it, mostly because he doesn't know how. That's not something people just ... Know how to do, grief is a process and if you don't have a single other person to help you or even be the slightest bit supportive it's going to be nearly impossible to grieve in a healthy way. Let alone being in a constant state of survival mode having to watch your back all the time because you're a kid in a very dangerous place and pretty much ever single person is an enemy, or at least not someone trustworthy or helpful. But I hella digress my bad

My point is Kaz hasn't dealt with the loss of his brother (why have I not used his name once? Bitch idfk my bad Jordie you deserve better bestie), which was a meaningless death. And by that I mean Jordie didn't sacrifice himself for some cause, he wasn't a casualty of a greater issue ... He just died. Because that what people do.

And especially for a kid who's all alone with not a single soul left on the earth who gives a damn about him, that's a pretty tricky concept to grasp. That your whole world, the most imporant person in your life could just die ... Just be completely gone in a moment. Thus why Kaz immediately blames Pekka and devotes his life to revenge, even though Pekka was only indirectly involved in Jodie's death. But blaming Pekka gives his death a meaning, it means there's something he can do to make it mean something.

Once again super digressed from my main point whoopsieeee. Hope y'all are enjoying the wild ride of my thoughts rn (I'm literally just stream of consciousness writing this shit, and for shits and giggles imma leave it that way no edits this is a first draft post you're welcome)

N E WAY

Jodie's death WAIT A SECOND HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT AUTOCORRECTED TO JODIE 💀

I'll never know because I'm not rereading this shit

Anyway

JORDIE's death meant nothing, and Kaz's revenge on Pekka didn't give it meaning either ... Which he probably knew deep down that it wouldn't. But those are the kinds of thoughts we ✨silence✨ because we need the rage for vengeance to keep us alive and doing things.

Now back to Inej and Harij.

Reuniting them will for Kaz make his own situation mean something (in my opinion don't at me these my head canon thoughts). That even though he can't bring his own brother back, he can bring back hers. And knowing that they're together will make his own grief a little easier to bear. It balances it out, if you will.

Two brothers lost, one brother found. Good math

OK BUT ALSO HAVE YOU CONSIDERED

Harij is Inej's younger brother

So consider Kaz is doing it as much for him as for Inej. He's making sure another little boy (he's obviously not a little boy anymore but like ... He was 12 ((idk how old he'd be know)) and that's plenty young) doesn't have to lose his older sibling forever.

And also consider

Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej, he knows he most likely won't always have her ... And more importantly she won't always have him.

He won't always be able to protect her, to keep her safe. But her brother could. Her brother could be there for her and her support her and even do a far better job (probs idk what bros personality is like but I bet Kaz Brekker is assuming shit too) than Kaz could. So by reuniting her with her brother he's making sure she's taken care of, that even if he lets her down, she'll never be alone.

Because real talk her

Y'all are allowed to have your head canons and shit I am NOT gatekeeping

But canonically Kaz Brekker is not the jealous or possessive type. If Inej wanted to leave him for someone else he'd be upset yeah but he's knows full well Inej is a living Saint and worth far more than he could ever deserve in a billion lifetimes, and he's also far more concerned with her happiness and well-being than what she can provide for him.

So he'd be satisfied being away from her, not knowing a single thing about her life, as long as he knows her brother is there with her.

He doesn't need to take care of her, he just needs to know that she is taken care of.

I rest my case

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Thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🫡

(addition because I did actually reread it and damn I somehow forgot my entire point???

So yeah

About him using reuniting Harij and Inej as a way to avoid dealing with his grief.

It's like this

Brother dies

Kaz goes straight to revenge, never actually processes any of it, just jumps straight into making Pekka pay for it ... Which tbh is dealing with it in a sense but it's in a very passive way of going straight to doing without ever processing ... If that makes sense.

And that's repaying violence with violence, which leads to more violence. It's a cycle of destruction that Kaz is playing into, which is very hard to get out of once it starts.

But reuniting Harij and Inej is a break in that cycle. It's Kaz using his own pain as motivation and incentive to do something that will heal others. And making sure that neither Inej nor Harij get caught in the same cycle as Kaz did, it's using his own knowledge of that cycle to protect others from it. And more specifically, he doesn't know how to heal himself, he doesn't know how to move on or process and grieve, he doesn't know how to leave the cycle ... So he's helping Inej and Harij heal from their pain instead, and making sure they never enter the cycle.

Because he probably is well aware that revenge isn't the healthiest way to channel grief (but bro doesn't care because Pekka needs to be put in his place and we stan him for that), but channeling it into helping someone he loves is healthy.

And real talk here

Kaz probably believes he will never move on or heal from Jordie's death. Thus him being trapped in the ouroboros of suffering ... And go with me here.

If we view the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail if y'all don't know) as a literal scenario Kaz is trapped in, it's a mental prison basically, and one he has accepted that he will never leave. His fate is sealed, and he can't do anything to save himself from that.

BUT even if he can't ever break out of the ouroboros, he can keep others out, he can't save himself but he can save others from being trapped there as well.

And because of this he won't have to deal with the fact that he's trapped, he can focus all his energy on keeping others out ... And it gives it meaning. That even though he's trapped forever and can't do anything for himself, he can do something for other people because of it. Because the only way to avoid the ouroboros is if someone inside warns you.

That was a wild metaphor I hope that made sense lol

Also once again these are my head canons and I wrote it from Kaz's perspective so to speak, so when I say things like He cAn NEVer HeAl that's because that's what he thinks (imo) not what is objectively true. Healing is absolutely possible and bro can get it he just doesn't know it yet.)

[dailyunstableeve]

Give me one more chance

After RE 5, Jill disappeared.

Jill Valentine x fem!reader

tw: angst (idk if tissues are needed), gore, blood, sharp objects (anything that can stab you :), ptsd

an: can't get over how hot Jill is on death island, mother Jill needs more screen time, it's not enough for me 😭😭😭 did anyone just think that Jill, Claire and Rebecca are like the power puff girls? The way their outfit colours are. Idk if anyone wrote this idea before but here's mine. Ps, my first re ff

Words count : 2.2k

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It's been years since Jill returned from a mission with Chris, and just disappeared. All she did was a postcard in your mail, telling you she won't be returning, probably never. At first, you don't believe it, even on the postcard, it's her handwriting, there's no way you could have mistaken it. You put yourself in a hopeless search for two years, you have given up, knowing that, no matter how hard you tried to search for Jill, and she doesn't want to be found, she'll dodge you before you know it.

You devoted yourself to training, non stop just to keep your mind from drifting to the days where your life was so much better when you're with Jill. You are furious about the choice Jill made and that anger inside you, helped you survive all the challenges you faced alone.

Went on a couple of missions with Chris, Leon, and the others, sometimes might end up going solo but Chris was worried sick about you. You made it back alive, no matter what, it's almost as if you wanted to prove to Jill that, even though she's not here, you made it out alive just fine.

You learn to move on, thinking your life has gone back to normal, then one day, Jill is reported to the mission, together with Chris. You have no idea about the news until you were training and heard the other soldiers talking about how the mission went, about how Jill is not good with team working, afterall, she's used to surviving by herself. You left the training room immediately just to go find Chris and give a punch on his face.

“Ow, what's that for?” He complained.

“How long has it been since your last mission?” You questioned.

“What?”

“With Jill.”

The mood between you two dropped so quickly.

“How did you-”

“I was training, apparently your boys don't know how to keep their mouths shut,” you cut him off, “if I recall correctly, your mission was two days ago.”

“I just reported in-”

“I thought you were my friend, Chris!” You raised your voice.

“I was just respecting Jill, she asked me to not tell you about it,” Chris answered.

You took a second to process the information, you loosened up your expression, and looked at Chris.

“Oh god, I'm sorry,” you apologised, “I don't mean to just yell at you like that.”

“It's fine, Y/N,” Chris comforted you, “there's something you have to worry about, your next mission.”

“You worried about all the missions I went to, it's not special,” you scoffed.

“I did everything in my power to prevent this but, the high up have given out a mission that needed you and Jill to proceed out the mission.”

“What did she say?” You asked.

“The same thing.”

Sometimes, you just wanted to say how brainless the high ups are always putting their soldiers on a mission that's just torturing. At least, you won't be torture by the infected but your time with Jill.

“I'll do it, it's just like any other mission,” you said confidently.

It's not like any other mission at all.

Jill is currently sitting on the opposite side of you, getting ready. It's weird, she still looks the same as the day she left for the mission with Chris, except, the softness you used to see in her, it's not there anymore, probably because you don't feel the same way as you did before.

“Let's run down our mission one more time, shall we?” you looked at Jill, even if you don't wish to be here with her, but you still need to get your mission done.

“Yeah, sure,” she answered quickly, fully facing towards you.

“Our target is to investigate the area out, there's been multiple reports about the infecteds roaming around the area and our job is to clean it up and look for any clues that could lead to why are the infected there, it's simple, except our lives are in stake, so no reckless move, we stay together, look out of each other's six, anything that seems abnormal, report immediately, don't investigate alone.”

“Got it.”

“Good,” you nodded, then went to check up on the pilot, “we're here.”

The cold chill air brushes through your hair the moment you get off the jet, it's felt like you just walked into a horror movie except your every mission is a horror movie.

It's an abandoned facility, it's always it, because the facility has most of the science stuff to help you create a new virus.

The whole time, both of you didn't say a word because even if it's been years since both of you had a mission together, you still remember her movement, it's more that your action will follow up automatically. Everything goes smoothly, a few infections appear when you and Jill are making your way to the control room, then the experiment room, the storage, just everywhere of the facility.

“There must've been a secret room somewhere, it's impossible for the infected to keep appearing outside the area and yet we only encounter a small amount in here,” you mumbled, you don't like it, just like every other mission you’ve done.

Sometimes when it's too quiet is a bad sign too.

“We should try to split,” Jill suggested.

“Did you forget what I said just now? We stay together,” you scoffed.

“But we are not getting anywhere if we keep sticking together.”

“And I'm not allowing you to risk your life like this,” you looked Jill in the eye, she flinched a little.

Call it selfish, but I don't want to lose Jill again.

But the look on Jill's face shows that she'll stand by her idea of splitting up, it could cover more ground, but it will put the risk on high.

“Fine, we will meet back up at the spot we arrived here,” you sighed.

You watch Jill turn her back at you and walk the other direction, it gives you the feeling of how you found out that Jill had left you with just a postcard that doesn't even have a goodbye on it.

You knock yourself out of the thought and continue walking down the hallway, hoping you're able to discover something that you didn't notice just now.

You didn't find anything but Jill did, so you were on your way to find Jill. Apparently she found a hidden tunnel that's blocked by multiple tables, without letting you know, she went down the tunnel herself. You arrived in front of the tunnel only to find yourself getting crowded by the infecteds, they are getting closer to you, some are even climbing out from the tunnel. If the infected are coming from the tunnel then where's Jill?

Please wait for me Jill. You prayed as you fought your way through the infected.

Just like every times, you thought about Jill when you face upon a challenge that you believe you won't be able to get through it, you remember the rage you felt for her when she left you, and you remember the worries you have on her right now that she could be hurt and you must find her quick.

You saw your opening to slide in the tunnel and went for it. At the end of the tunnel is a hallway, dirty, but the electricity is still working, it doesn't look abandoned, it's just no one cleaning it.

“Jill?” You called, nothing responded but a few infected appeared in your sight. You clear out the infected, and manage to find Jill of all the madness you have to kill just to get to her.

Suddenly, the area's light went off, leaving a guide light on to show where you're supposed to go. You have no other option but to follow, it guides you to a huge room, where Jill is currently fighting her life on the infected that's three times the size of a normal one and Jill is badly wounded. You hold up your pistol and start shooting at it, just to find yourself stupid because normal bullets are not going to kill the monster.

You charged onwards, grabbed a long stick that's in your reach and made a jump onto its head, “no one hurt Jill,” you fired seven shots on its head, went right down for the brain. You've killed it, you did, the monster loses its balance and drops down on the ground, so did you, except Jill caught you only to lose her balance to standing after.

“Jill?” You panicked, and you noticed the huge part of her clothing was painted red, fresh red, “oh my god, Jill!” You put pressure on her wound, “how long have you been bleeding?”

“Before you arrived,” she coughed, you quickly took out the bandages you have with you 24/7 and tried to patch her up, “the one who's in charge of here is chained up in the locker room.”

“I'll send someone to get that person!” I called comms and Chris picked up, “send backups, right now!” You cried.

“Y/N,” Jill rested her hand on yours trying to stop the bleeding, “I'm sorry for everything I've done to you.”

“Shut up Jill, you better stay with me and tell me that when you fully recover!” You cut her off, “I didn't get you back just to lose you!”

“Jill?”

“Jill!”

“Hey hey hey, don't close your eyes now!”

“Goddammit, Chris, be quick please.”

“Jill! Don't die on me right now!”

Until Chris and the backups arrived, it was nothing but your cries for Jill to stay awake, because you don't want to lose her again. You watch Jill getting sent back first as you and Chris stayed behind to clean up the mess, Chris did recommend you to head back with Jill but you know she wants you to finish up the mission, so you did.

You took a proper shower, washing off the rotten smell of the infected is hard, after all, you went on a killing spree on any infected you saw, that's who you have grown to. Kill to serve but only when it's about the infected.

Jill went unconscious for a week, and you stayed by her side the whole time. You want the first one she sees when she wakes up is you, you are but Chris is the first she talked to.

“Has she been here the whole time?” Jill asked.

“Yes, she wants that she's the first one you see when you wake up,” Chris gently placed a big blanket on you.

“How can she be so forgiven? After all these years,” Jill looked at you who's currently sleeping on the side of the bed.

“She still loves you Jill, she never forget the day you left her, she used that to pull herself through everyday, no matter how worse the day is,” Chris left out a breath, “and I want you to know that, it's not your fault that you were controlled by Wesker and what you did after.”

“Chris, don't,” Jill stopped Chris, she doesn't want to talk about it yet.

“I'll just leave you with her then.”

“Is he gone?” You mumbled, you were awake, you didn't get up because you felt like Chris and Jill deserve some time to talk things out, “I didn't want to interrupt.”

“How are you feeling?” You asked.

“I'm fine,” Jill answered, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” physically, you are, mentally, you are not.

There's so many questions you wanted to ask, but you don't know where to start.

“I'm sure you heard from Chris about the mission where things went bad for me,” Jill could see the question on your face, that's how much she knows you, “I didn't mean to hurt you.”

“But you did, you hurted me the moment you write on the postcard and leave it in my mails.”

“Look Y/N, I know what you heard from Chris and I know you would think exactly how Chris would too, that it wasn't my fault but I hate that I blame myself for that.” Jill tried to explain herself, “I didn't have the courage to come back to visit you.”

“So why did you come back Jill? After all these years, because you being gone from my life all these years made me think that you have found a much better life that I wasn't included in! So why did you come back now, out of all the years you could’ve?” Tears start rolling down your cheek.

You may have told yourself that you have moved on from the fact that Jill just abandoned you, you found a way to live through it but now she's in front of you. The memories you made with her flooded your mind. It made you want to yell at her, cry, scream at her, for leaving you here, when you needed her and she needed you.

“I realise that I can't hide from it forever, that I've left my girl here without a complete answer,” she gently wiped the tears off your cheek, “I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, I know that I'm not worth to be forgiven by you but please let me made it up to you, all those years that I've been gone, please give me a one more chance Y/N,” both of yours eyes meet, you can't tell how much you misses the way Jill looked at you, that's filled with love, and now it's mixture with asking for forgiveness.

“Yes,” you gently hugged Jill, doesn't want to suddenly rip her wound.

“I promise.”

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

an: death island has done something to me. Well, it's not really all full romance, it brings up the past and I just started it with hoping to write something that's close to call redemption for Jill. Even if she's hard on herself during the movie about what happened at re5😭 I wanna let my girl have some rest

Masterlist

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 3

Man Jojo, Ninew, Ninepinta and Vivienne know exactly how to build a mess because this was OUTSTANDING. Here's how the pimps and hoes are stacking up this week.

🔺1. Boston (3)

Damn! Tilly Birds should write a song about you.

THIS NASTY SHITBAG MOTHERFUCKER YAAASSSSSS KWEEEEN! Boston spent the entire episode mansplaining, manipulating and manwhoring and considering that is what this whole show is even about he fucking wins the week! Stringing Nick along, spewing poison into Top's and Ray's ears, fucking Top nasty in a classic automobile...I don't care what any of you say, he's the winner.

🔻2. Ray (1)

Don’t define it. Just enjoy your life. You said you could differentiate between love and lust.

This dizzy bitch. This messy mess-ass hoe. Playing with everybody's feelings because he can never face up to his own and just fucking deal with his shit. Everybody is correctly fed up of his bullshit, including Sand and Sand LITERALLY JUST MET HIM. Sand telling him to save his money for a shrink was the best advice any character has ever given any other character on any show anywhere.

🔺3. Nick (5)

Can friends with benefits turn into lovers?

Well the boy is dumb but he's not dumb if you know what I mean. Boston is screwing with his head and he knows it, but he just can't help himself cuz dick2bomb. They say you should never actually get your crush, and this is why. Nick being a sneaky surveillance spy bitch is the main reason Boston should've never messed with him, because now he's gonna go NSA on his ass. He wants that man and he will have him, whatever it takes.

🔹4. Sand (4)

If you want a boyfriend, get yourself a boyfriend. Don't mess with me.

SAND YOU KNOW BETTER! YOU KNOW THIS MAN IS A MESS! AND YET YOU ARE STILL FALLING FOR HIS CHARM. Sand giggling and twirling his hair with Ray in the car was...it was embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you sir. Sack the fuck up. Like when you threw Top the middle finger, more of that. Also, what the fuck happened between those two TELL ME JOJO!

⭐5. Yo

Sweet as sugar, hard as ice. Hurt me once, I'll kill you twice. Haven’t you heard?

We have our first sighting of Yo in the rankings! Homegirl clearly has all her shit together: a thriving business, a hot and devoted younger man, and a house full of kids who stay drinking her dranks and eating her food because they can't get their shit together. And she looks like a bag of money THE ENTIRE TIME, just FLAWLESS. More of her please.

🔺6. Top (7)

♪ I’m a villain, no matter how much I love you, I must die eventually ♪

So he totally planted that guy at the silent disco right? Seemed like a weird play to push Mew along. Because at 3 months, the game's probably gotten a bit boring, especially if Mew's not even giving him the occasional sniff at it to keep him on the hook. Top likes a challenge and he sorta likes Mew, but if Mew really did screw Ray, maybe he's not so interested anymore. To be clear: I absolutely do not think Top is jealous, more like the shine wears off Mew for him if Mew has succumbed before. I still don't trust a thing coming out of this man's mouth, but the way he worked Boston OUT in that car is worth at least a one-rank jump.

🔻7. Mew (2)

-Are you drunk and taking advantage of me? -Don’t you like it though?

Mew is this week's biggest loser, falling the furthest from last week as his shtick starts wearing thin. Mew's overplayed his hand a bit here: his testing of Top has gone on too long. He doesn't even dispute Top calling him his boyfriend even as he insists they're not dating yet. He was totally about to give it up after the party because I think he realised he had gone from a challenge to a bore, but he waited too late, Boston had a chance to get into everybody's head and now it's all fucked. When he finally sleeps with Top next week it's not a victory for him, it's a capitulation. Also, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH HIM AND RAY I NEED TO KNOW LIKE RIGHT NOW I CAN'T WAIT A WHOLE WEEK!

🔻8. Cheum/April (6)

Guys, I think I’m gonna throw a pool party.

Poor Cheum, the only person to remember they are in fact trying to run a fucking business and actually working at the pool party rather than causing and/or engaging in drama, and April right by her side just helping her woman out because her so-called friends are a dumpster fire. As usual, the lesbians gotta be the ones getting shit done.

[fbfh]

Tate Langdon dating hcs

wc: 1.4k

warnings/content: discussions of yandere behavior and how tate differs from that, general obsessive/codependant tendancies bc it's tate, optional creative arts!reader

pairing: Tate x gn reader (no pronouns/gendered descriptions)

a/n: tate is a babyboy who needs to be kissed on his forehead right fucking now yes I know what he did I'm not taking criticism on this. also I just posted this by accident and had to completely delete and reformat it so if you saw that no you didn't

EDIT: I finished coven and realized I used a gif of Kyle and Zoe instead of Tate and Violet which has now been fixed. I cannot keep these blonde boys straight.

Okay so I don’t even want call this a yandere fic bc this is just about Tate in the source material so I don’t want to label him a full out yandere

But like

He kind of is

The other reason I don’t necessarily want to give him the yandere label is bc most of the time (from what I’ve read at least) yanderes usually don’t have their darling’s best interest at heart/can be okay with them being hurt or in danger

That shit would NEVER fly with Tate

I wrote a whole drabble about this but I know a lot of people have said Tate would kill you so you can be in the house with him forever

Yandere!Tate, yes

Regular Tate?? Hell no!!

There’s an element of selflessness that Tate possesses that gives him an important distinction from the yandere archetype

Because a lot of times yanderes want their darlings all for themselves

They want to be their darling’s only one, which can manifest in very selfish motivations

But Tate?????

Tate cares about your feelings more than his

And he’s proved this by acting selflessly for your benefit over and over 

Even when there is literally zero chance for him to get anything out of it

He doesn’t care

Because his motivations regarding you are genuinely selfless 

You are his priority, point blank period

Because Tate is…. Very dedicated

The thing with him is that when he latches onto you 

He’s on for eternity

Not just for life bc he’s kind of an immortal ghost

He’ll be with you until you decide you don’t want him there anymore

And even then

He’s still going to love you just as much as he does now forever

Like he’s really not one to halfass anything

Especially how he feels about someone

Because he usually either doesn’t give a fuck about them or cares too much

He cares too much about pleasing all the women in the house

He cares too much about trying to make Nora happy, gain her approval and praise

And then there’s you

He either doesn’t give a fuck about someone, cares too much, or in your case, might end up deeply obsessed with and dogmatically devoted to you

Which he is

Honestly all it took was a few days before his heart was in your hands

You probably didn’t even realize for a while just how into you he is

But by the time he’s openly confessing his love for you

By the time he’s telling you that he would never let anyone or anything hurt you

That he cares about your feelings more than his

That he’s never felt this way about someone before

You have a pretty good idea of where he’s at

He doesn’t hide his feelings from you after that, he doesn’t think he could if he tried

Tate is hopelessly devoted to you

There’s no other way to describe it

We know he’s clingy

We know he’s affectionate

We know he’s a switchy bottom with raging mommy issues

We’ve established that

And you could tell all of that since you met him

But when he really lays his heart at your feet

When he really finds himself fully committed to you

That’s when all that in theory becomes in practice

When days go by and he’s glued to your side the whole time

Even just lingering nearby while you’re brushing your teeth or making food 

That’s when you realize that he really really just likes being your lapdog 

He loves it

He loves when you give him casual affection, he loves when you rest your hand on his back or brush hair out of his eyes

And he fucking loves when you use him as a reward or break from other tasks you have to do

Every time your little study timer goes off, you drop what you’re doing and run right over to pull him in for a kiss

He’s already thrown his arms around you

You just make out for like ten minutes until you have to start studying again

If it’s not for something super important he absolutely will try to distract you by kissing your neck and squeezing your waist

If it is super important or a subject you struggle in, he’ll help you study

He doesn’t want to stop kissing you, but he will

Because he knows how important this is to you

So he’ll pull away and start reading you flashcards 

And like

He’ll be happy to do it

He won’t complain or be upset

He won’t have anything else he’d rather be doing

Tate Langdon took “if he wanted to he would” and fucking ran with it

Oh my god

And god help you if you do anything artistic or creative

Because as soon as he finds out that you’re an artist or a writer or an actor or musician or singer or dancer or sewist

Or literally anything else

It will once again alter his brain chemistry

The second you start showing him your art or writing or songs

It fucking changes him

Like

The weight and significance of the renaissance and every major artistic movement and cultural moment ever influenced by the arts is now residing in you

That’s how he feels

He takes one look at what you do and he gets it

He never really cared until now

But jesus fucking christ everything you do needs to be in a museum

Sometimes you see him just staring at your art or rereading your writing and poetry or flipping through your sketchbooks

Watching videos of you in musicals or plays or dance recitals 

Because when he sees the world the way you do

Whatever medium that might be through

Everything makes sense

He understands it, and he feels understood

He feels like you’re talking to him through your art

He feels a sense of peace, tranquility

If you think he couldn’t put you up on an even higher pedestal

Surprise

Not only are you the greatest person in the world

But you’re also an artistic genius 

There’s this deep sense of like

Privilege he feels to see everything you’re creating right now 

Even just your diary entries, the way you shape words, the flow of your stream of consciousness is so beautiful

He watches you so much more closely now, seeing the way you dance in your everyday movements

The way you channel and portray characters so flawlessly when you’re telling him about your day and the drama that happened at school

He could spend days looking through the boxes and albums of photos you’ve taken

He probably has

Because there’s no way to be closer to you than taking in these organic, raw forms of passion and self expression

He can’t get enough of it

Tate is dedicated to you

Not only as your boyfriend

But as your number one fan

Even if you’re not as creative

He still believes you have the best taste of anyone he’s ever met hands down

The books you like, the shows and movies you watch together

Even your music taste

Tate hasn’t liked a single song that’s been released after 1994

Until you handed him a pair of headphones and said you think he’ll like this

You sat him down and listened to the entirety of the black parade by my chemical romance

The whole album

And it changed his whole worldview 

Yet again, one move and you’ve altered his brain chemistry 

Even with other stuff he wouldn’t normally like

He likes it because you like it

He’ll watch Love Island and 90 Day Fiance with you for hours and love every minute of it

He loves feeling close to you, he loves that you want to share things you enjoy with him

He especially loves after a while when you’re starting to get kind of sleepy 

Because you look so soft and adorable like that

But also because he knows he can put his head in your lap and you’ll play with  his hair

You’ll run your fingers through his soft hair and scratch his back

And he feels so close to you

Which is all he ever wants

It’s always going to be you you you

And right now, he has exactly what he wants

[soul-controller]

Hey everyone, I hate to disappoint but I just wanted to share that there’s no way that the Halloween event can happen anymore this year.

My manager at my job initially promised me that I would be able to have a set schedule where I could have 4 days off a week so I could properly devote time to getting my writing done. Unfortunately, two people quit and my schedule for the next few weeks just came out and now I’m being forced to help cover their shifts until they hire new people (which will probably take a while since my job has a terrible reputation in town). Although I would have probably been able to find a way to make the event still happen given how excited I was about it, I’m still in the process of doing four relatively large story commissions so there’s no way that I can juggle both those and the Halloween event. Something had to give and obviously the event had to go as the commissions take priority.

To provide some context and be a bit vulnerable, things in my personal life have been a bit rough and hectic the past month or two, so I’m hoping things can eventually settle down soon enough. As previously mentioned my job is being a nuisance, but there’s other stuff going on like money issues on top of being in the process of getting a new doctor because my current one was refusing to take any of my concerns seriously. Beyond just him downplaying my anxiety and depression diagnoses when it comes to providing me effective medication, he also refused to try and help with the debilitating migraines I suffer through practically every other day.

Just to add a cherry on top of the shitty month that this has been, I just recently discovered that queuing on Tumblr has finally failed me. The story that was meant to come out this month never got posted and the concept of having to go through re-formatting everything and getting photos again was just too much of a depressing nuisance for me to deal with. Hell, I've been in such a stink recently that I didn't even do a celebration to celebrate the fact that my account had passed 4,000 followers! I guess doing it nearly three hundred followers later is a bit too late, but I suppose it's never too late to celebrate. I seriously appreciate all of the support I've received regardless of it was a like, a reblog, a follow, or a subscription to my Patreon. All of it means a lot to me... genuinely.

I suppose I just wanted to say that things feel a bit grim for me currently, but I remain hopeful that good days shall eventually come (especially since Halloween is my favorite time of year). To put a more positive spin on the increased hours at work, at least it means that I'll hopefully fix my money issues. Plus, I finally have a meeting with a new doctor this Thursday so I'm hoping I can get some results and find someone who actually cares and wants to help me.

In closing, I sincerely wanted to apologize again in case I disappointed anyone by canceling the Halloween event. Hopefully I can make it up to y’all though by releasing two stories here for October that I really enjoyed writing.

On top of that, I’m thinking I may give the concept of releasing long stories for purchase via Ko-Fi / itch.io a shot by having a trial run with a nearly 10k word Halloween-ish story involving misguided spells, twinkification, and age progression / weight gain between two best friends.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate all of your support and hopefully your understanding during this extremely trying time. 💙

[shadowcatzone]

i got tired of writing this, but it was in my drafts. Maybe worth a read. Give feedback. Between cynos jokes and ventis shenanigans, how funny is it.

-creator au. In which the creator knows that venti is barbatos and a wisp. Venti doesn't know the creator is the creator, he doesn't know that creator knows his identity and past. Also creator is forbidden from straight up telling their identity-

-they're being served a sticky honey roast-

Creator: ...wait, are you even able to digest that?

Venti: *raises eyebrow* why wouldn't i be?

Creator: oh, i just thought, because you're a, uh, ...a, bard?

Venti: *squints, then giggles* i think you misunderstand what a bard is!

Creator: *sigh of relief* really? I don't think i've ever seen you eat anything but apples...

Venti: *panics* oh, you know, i just really like apples!

Traveler: *thinking* this is almost painful to watch...

_____

Creator: i made you an apple pie.

Venti: ...why.

Creator: well, you said you really like apples, and this is way more filling than the raw ingredient!

Venti: *stares*

Creator: i promise there's nothing suspicious in it! And, it's fresh out of the oven so, it's still warm!

Venti: umm... thanks...

_____

Traveler: -unfortunately, the inteyvat doesn't exist anymore. Do you have a favorite flower?

Venti: Cecilia. They remind me of times bygone.

Creator: oh, i really like the windwheel aster! As for why, well... hm, maybe i'm just particularly devoted to barbatos...?

Traveler: *nudging venti* "devoted to barbatos" eh~

Venti: *sighs* oh, that reminds me! Did i ever tell you about when barbatos fell asleep in a wine barrel?

Creator: *giggles* venti, that's blasphemous! Besides, there's no need to be jealous- i like you at least as much as i like barbatos!

Venti: *shocked* wh- what? Wait, that's not what i-

Traveler: *smug* don't worry, venti, barbatos doesn't hold a candle to you~

_____

Venti: *deadpan* you're a goddess, aren't you?

Creator: *speechless* ...venti, h-how can you flirt with such a s-serious expression?

Venti: ...i know you are. Drop the act.

Creator: ...i'm certain if you continue like this, you'll gain the wrath of celestia.

_____

Creator: -i can be brown, i can be blue, i can be violet skies~ i can be-

Venti: HOW DO YOU MANAGE NOT TO HIT A SINGLE NOTE!!

Creator: THE TEXT IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT ISN'T IT!!

Venti: HALF THE TEXT IS WRONG! YOURE JUST MAKING SHIT UP AS YOU GO!!

Creator: it- it is? Oh... sorry...

Venti: well- eh, well, why don't we practice together?

Venti: *thinking* SHIT I FUCKED UP SHIT I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP-

Creator: uhm... *teary eyed* no, it's alright. Thanks for the offer though... i think i'll just go home for today.

Venti: i- i didn't-

Creator: no, it's okay... it's not- i mean, if you say-

Creator: ...you're the best bard in mondstadt. Ahaha- and i wouldn't want Barbatos to have to listen to me...

Venti: wait-

Creator: goodnight, venti... *leaves*

Venti: mh... *sighs*

Diluc: ...there were probably better ways to tell her that.

Venti: i know...

Diluc: no, i mean, because you're still in a tavern full of people.

Venti: ...oh! ...please, please mix me something strong. ...Best 3 whole bottles.

_____

Creator: *laying in bed* ...well. i already knew i sucked at singing. Now i-

-a loud *thump* against the window-

Creator: ...*rushes to open the window, gasps* are you-

Barbatos, in most of his archon glory: i~ ...don't know that bards problem, hic- *drapes himself over the windows edge* i really~ appreciated~ your singing~ hic!

Creator: *flabbergasted* ...are you drunk?

Barbatos: noooo~ i don't get drunk~

Some people from below: what the- is that a bird??

Creator: *panicked* ...forgive me. *pulls him in, then closes the window*

Barbatos: no~ forgive, me~ today-

Creator: *sighs* ...c'mon, let's get you to bed.

-she heaves him into her bed, with the intent of sleeping elsewhere, but gets pulled in by his wings-

Barbatos: *hugs her tight* noooo~ *immediately falls asleep*

Creator: ...how am i gonna explain this in the morning.

_____

Barbatos: *wakes up, slowly opens his eyes, rubbing them* ...good morning...?

Creator: *glares* good morning. I didn't sleep a wink.

Barbatos: hmm? Why not...?

Creator: are you kidding? You were smacking me with your wings!

Barbatos?: with my- ...OH!! THESE ARENT REAL!!

Creator: Barbatos. Please.

[moody-alcoholic]

Unwavering Devotion Chapter 7

If there was a definition of angst it would be this chapter...

Previous <- current -> Next (coming soontm)

Masterlist

Enjoy the sneak peak <3

Rosaly  3 months later

“Keep this up we’ll be going all night!” I shout at the recruits running down the hill I hear someone walking behind me. 

“Evening lieutenant.” I recognised the voice its Price. I don't turn around instead noting something on my clipboard. 

“You’ve ignored all my messages this was the only way to contact you.” 

“Don’t you think maybe there was a reason for that.” I say watching the recruits. 

“I’m getting 141 back together.” He said, I chuckled.

“Okay good luck with that,” I say, bitterly. These last few months have made me bitter. 

“We found Joshua and Noah.” He says 

“That’s great I’m sure the CIA and Shadow Company will deal with them.” I say walking down the path to see the troop better. Price doesn’t say anything I turn to look at him. He looks tired, like always. 

“There is no 141 anymore Price.” I say tired, throwing my arms out almost pleading for him to let it go. “I haven’t heard from Gaz in months, John is dead Si…” I choke, I cant say his name. I hold my ground, turning around again so he cant see my fight to stay emotionless. I hear him sigh. 

“I’ll have Laswell send you the details.” He said sounding defeated. 

“When you’re done watching recruits maybe give it a look. You’re a soldier Rosaly, and we have a job to finish.” I shake my head, angry. I hear him take a step away. 

“It’s what Johnny would have done… Simon too.” I turn round and watch as he walks of the grass. 

“Price!” I shout, sighing. “Why me? You have a chance to build a new 141, a better 141 you literally have your pick of any soldier. Why me?”

“I think out of all of us you deserve some revenge.” He says as he walks back over to me.

“Is Gaz on board?” 

“Yeah.” He nods, I have no idea what happened with me and Gaz. A few days after I was back in Scotland, he abruptly left. We spoke a few times after that then nothing. I mean I wasn’t exactly in the talking mood but even Price came up to visit and called from time to time. 

“Where are they?” I ask, I see Price smile. 

“I’ll have Laswell send you the details.” He repeats.

“I go back home tomorrow,” I say. I don’t know why I said that, Johnny wanted the house filled with love and people he loved. It feels weird since I left there a month ago, I don’t even know if I can go back yet. 

“We can meet there. Thursday?” He says, that was two days away. I nod, turning back to the troop running up the hill. I hear him walk away again. I was all of a sudden regretting this. I should hear him out at least, he was right it’s what John and Simon would have done. I take a big gulp of air in clearing my throat as the troop made it back to me. 

“Well?” I say waiting for them to say something. I let them talk, trying to explain what they did to the dummy they just dragged up and down the hill. I squeeze my eyes closed as they start to mess up again. Fucking Price. Now I'm too distracted to focus. I sigh dismissing them, Price has riled me up too much, I hope whoever is taking over from me can do a better job. 

I make it into the mess sitting down at the table with the other staff, the base captain moves over to sit in front of me. Captain Sands, he’s new young, it’s his first command position. 

“So what did captain Price want?” He asked. I shrug sipping my tea. “What you didn’t hear him out? Seemed like he had something important to say.” 

“He always has something important to say.” I say back to him, I look down the table at the other officers talking amongst themselves. I never felt like I really fit in but I was told if I wanted to teach I had to accept the promotion. At least Price was good enough to put in a good word for me. 

“So when will you be back?” He asks. I shrug.

“I have 3 weeks of leave saved, probably going to use them all at once so I can get back to work.” I say. 

“Oh great so you’ll be back before the new recruits come, that’ll be fun.” I nod finishing the cup of tea. 

“I should go pack, I have a long drive tomorrow.” I say getting up, taking the sandwich off my tray and heading to the staff dorms. To get to them I have to walk through the recruit corridors. 

“Why is she such a bitch though? My boots are never going to be dry for inspection tomorrow.” I hear someone say, I stop in my tracks eavesdropping. 

“I heard her husband was killed in action.” Someone else said.

“Doesn't give you the right to be a bitch though.” The first girl said.

“She was special forces before this.” Yet another girl said. 

“What really? Why is she here?” 

“Cos her husband was killed in action dumbass then she went fucking crazy from what I heard.” I crossed my arms taken aback by what I was hearing.

“You’re going to have to dry your boots by the tumble dryers.” One of the girls said I could hear them making their way to the door. I stood there when they opened the door they both jumped. I saw other girls in the room jump out of my line of sight. 

“You girls sure do hear a lot.” I said, they looked embarrassed their cheeks going red. I sighed I couldn’t be bothered to be dishing out disciplines on my last night I just wanted to sleep not be burred in paperwork. I step aside, nodding at them to leave. They rushed past me, I could hear them giggling as the doors closed behind them. I closed my eyes shaking my head and made it to my room. My bag was already packed, I just wanted to sleep, and not speak to anyone. I pulled my clothes off throwing them over the chair for tomorrow then flopping into bed in my underwear. I plug my phone in to charge and roll over in the bed looking at the ceiling in the dark. Maybe going home would be a good thing, maybe I did need a break. Maybe it was time to dust the skeletons out the closet.  

[darkpoisonouslove]

💛 Yellow

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

💛 Yellow: Do you ever alter, highlight, or de-emphasize certain canonical traits in a character? If so, why and describe how.

Since you didn't send a specific character and I already did Valtor, I'll go ahead with Griffin. I intensify pretty much every part of her character if we're being honest. But let's look at the main things:

I'm of the opinion that they made her too nice post 1x17. It almost feels like she's a different character afterwards. The only time we see her doing some truly questionable shit is when she kind of used the Winx as bait for the Trix in 2x18 (which the RAI dub tries to deny but that is pretty much what happened). I think she should be allowed to be ruthless and scathing but she'd have to be a force that the plot has to take into account for that to happen in canon so I see why they didn't really do it (though it was somehow okay for her to almost kill the Winx in 1x06). So fics will have to do. I try to show that she's calculative, kind of always scheming or at least analyzing a situation to figure out what the other party wants from her (the exception being most of her interactions with Faragonda because I don't think she'd feel the need to be on guard around her outside the periods of time when they're basically enemies).

I definitely lean very firmly into her familiarity with Valtor, which I think was absolutely something they should have done on the show. Forget shipping but the fact is that she worked with him and he himself - even after she betrayed him - speaks very highly of what they could do together. Showing the similarities between them and how well she knows him - even through a little dialogue with the Winx ffs if they didn't want to devote a lot of screen time to that - would have set up Valtor and his story better. But forget canon! I like to really make her specifically very familiar with his methods (when it comes to him, I don't think he'd know her that well anymore after his imprisonment in Omega but he could definitely read her very well before). I try to show that by making her have a pretty easy time figuring out what he's planning and seeing through his words.

Since she was hinted to show remorse and guilt over the situation with the Trix, I can't imagine her existing without some kind of leftover guilt for her actions in the past as well. Especially when she's faced with Valtor and her former partnership with him. This I don't really begrudge canon for ignoring (they did imply she felt guilty for working with him) since it's been 17 years and Griffin is bound to try to repress that shit when Valtor is around and would have a field day poking her about it. And in general, she'd probably try to keep it locked down as much as possible. Seeing her fail a little would have been nice but this is a lot more pertinent to the CoL era so I'm not complaining too much that they didn't do anything with that in the show. It is somewhat a cornerstone of my fics though because they focus on her almost exclusively (not to mention that it also annoys Valtor).

[paperstarwriters]

Just some Writing Updates

I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for this, but just to be clear for my own conscious, I'm really sorry I haven't been able to do much writing or post much fanfic currently!

School's just really kicking my ass right now and it's a very reading and writing heavy semester so my fingers tend to be kinda dead by the time I get some free time.

I'm still sorting out my schedule, seeing how long it takes me to do things, and working around extra events whether they be extracurricular (I'm gonna be strapped to an EEG for a psych experiment how exciting!!) to personal life (traveling with family, upcoming birthday parties, etc) But I'll try to write some things out.

I do have a lot of WIPs started, so I'll try to finish a few of them and have them posted eventually, and I have a lot of AUs and other content I really wanna share!

And then, of course, there is the Hermit's route fanfic. I do still really wanna work on it, but it seems like a very daunting task and It'll probably take me a while to finish it still considering how little I've been able to work on it due to school and life and how big of a fic it seems to be on outline alone. I do want to finish it though. I want to at least share it with others, but I'm really curious:

does anyone really even want to read it anymore? I'm sure we've sort of come to terms with the ending of Muriel's route in the arcana, and while I've planned on writing with much more magic and general variation in the story (though the core moments stay the same) I'm not sure if it's really... needed? anymore? I don't know. I'm tempted to just call it quits and write out a list of headcannons, and the general plot I had planned but I'm not sure.

If I go on with this, I might try to work on the story for NaNoWriMo. It'll be difficult between my classes, but worse comes to worse, I might give myself a little extension into December. To complete it then.

I don't know :/

Again though, I'm really sorry I haven't been writing much, and I really hope to squeeze in some writing soon. It makes me sad to see Muriel's hashtags only ever really gaining a few fics every so often, and not even really anything entirely devoted to him. I'm happy to see people talking about him at all, but still.

I hate that I feel an obligation to write, as if it's a job and not something I do for fun because it always makes it so much more harder for me to start in the first place :(

I really wanna write for Muriel some more. And maybe a little bit for Optimus as well. I'm sorry that I can't.

Ah, well. I'll get my writing time in there eventually.

Anyways,

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

(Sharing an au a friend and I explored a bit that I just need to be out there)

ㅤ

So. Surge and Kit share the same place. Now they don't have stable housing (as if they could afford that). No, they just sort of jump from place to place, living any place with some sort of roof. Right now they've been living in an abandoned cabin. The cabin is a bit run down, and the roof leaks a bit when it rains. There's no food. But the location isn't bad! It's close enough to civilization that the two could walk to the nearest city/town, but far enough away that no one'll bother them (much less care that they're squatting in abandoned property)

Now Surge has decided (for a reason we have not yet decided upon) that she wants to spend some time away from Kit (perhaps to prove for herself whether their relationship means anything more than the roles forced upon the two of them or the fact that having someone devoted to you can be a helpful tool, or if this all even matters. Or perhaps she just needs some alone time to think, to figure some stuff out). So, Surge (knowing that Kit can take care of himself) sends him out of the cabin for a while (doesn't give him an end date), tells him to go have fun or do whatever it is he wants to do for the time being.

Reluctantly, Kit obeys. He takes the front door out, closes it behind him.

As for Surge, she spends the better part of a week doing whatever. Leaves the cabin to get food, sleeps in, steals from window shops at different stores. She tries some things she's always wanted to out in the city. And in the end...she (although she won't admit it) finds it's a bit lonely without Kit there. She finds that she doesn't much mind her life as it is, nor does she really care if their relationship was forced upon them (because if Kit wants to go against it, that's for him to decide), and she finds out some things about herself (as she is now) and what she likes. So when week 2 begins, she waits inside. Sure, she still goes out to get food at first, but she just waits for Kit to come back.

Because he will, right? There's no way he can leave her alone for any longer, not with how close he sticks to her most of the time, can he?

Meanwhile, Kit hadn't gone very far. After obeying Surge, he'd circled the cabin and decided to stand at the back door. Day and night, rain or snow, he stands behind the cabin, just waiting for Surge to come back.

After about two weeks (Surge hasn't left the cabin for a couple days at least), she finally concedes, talking into the empty cabin.

"...Guess he's not coming back."

And she's...obviously not sad about it (definite lie), because this was always a possibility after they took their time alone. And if Kit decided he didn't want to wreak some havoc with her anymore, that he was no longer devoted, then she doesn't need him. She doesn't need flimsy "bonds". To be honest, in a few days she should probably gather her stuff and–

Amy walks through the front door of the cabin unannounced, doesn't even bother to knock or announce her presence.

And Surge, instead of going on the offensive, assuming Amy meant to fight, or instead of wondering how Amy found their current hideout, takes a brief minute to pretend that she is in no way even slightly depressed or living like shit (that she's totally taking care of herself and she just loves the sound of the rain drops hitting the wood floors).

But Amy, even if it takes a little bit, manages to pull the problem out of her. She's not convinced that Surge is right (that Kit abandoned the place and decided he doesn't need her), about as much as she's not convinced that Surge is completely fine over the prospect of Kit abandoning her.

"Okay, okay. It's fine if you're worried about him, you know. And I don't think it's like you say!"

"I'm not worried about him. He can take care of himself, and his choices are none of my business. He can do what he wants."

Amy sighs, shaking her head. "If he's lost out there in all that heavy rain, I'll find him." And if Surge says anything after that, Amy doesn't hear her. She tunes out everything else for a moment as she turns her head, happening to glance out the back window.

When Amy spots a glimpse of Kit, standing out back in the heavy rain, she isn't sure whether she's sadder about the implications of this, or angrier at Surge for not looking out her own window. Heedless of anything Surge could be doing or saying at the moment, Amy opens the back door, fully intending to drag Kit inside.

"How long have you been standing out here?!"

Kit only shrugs, looks at Surge just past her. "Waiting for you to come back."

Surge grits her teeth, anger and relief rushing her heart at once. "You idiot." She stomps out of sight, looking around for a dry cloth, while Amy pulls Kit inside and tries to start a fire in the old fireplace.

And while Amy is still angry at Surge (all she had to do was look behind the cabin!), she can't help but smile when Surge drapes the dry blanket over him.

Now, as for Surge, at some point she informs Kit that she'll be leaving this place soon, as the enemy (she gestures to Amy) has found them. So, she'll be leaving before sunrise.

The statement isn't very direct, but Amy gets the point. Surge's statement is code for "If you want to go with me, you better be there".

And Kit, perhaps he smiles just slightly, so relieved that Surge does want him (not that he requires this. Of course, if Surge left for good, he'd most likely trail her from afar. He doesn't even require appreciation or genuine want. But that doesn't mean he can't feel happy when she proves she does care, even a little).

And I'd like to think that after finding out for sure that he'd just waited in the same place for two weeks, she takes him to do some of the things she'd done during that first week (under the guise of giving him some enjoyment, since he didn't do anything those two weeks, even though she'd ordered him to. Although deep down, she'd also wanted to do these things with him, so as to enjoy them without feeling lonely, to share this with him) and treats him a little before they find their new temporary sleeping place.

[dreamsstarsgalaxies]

Ch. 1. Who is Daenessa Blackfyre?

Daenessa Blackfyre (*reader*) is the bastard daughter of Prince Daemon with a dancer and long-time lover, Mysaria. Despite the fact that she was born out of wedlock, Laena Velaryon and Daemon Targaryen raised as their legitimate daughter and named her Daenessa Targaryen.

Soon after Prince Rhaenyra Targaryen and Laenor Velaryon's chaotic wedding, Prince Daemon and Laena Velaryon secretly married and moved to Pentos, to what looks like a life away from the king's court, away from temptation. During the first year of their married life, they welcomed their first newborn twins: Baela and Rhaena. Daemon was happy enough, but if he were to go back in time and change his fate, he would have chosen Rhaenyra, his soulmate. Laena seemed pretty content with Daemon, she was happy. Nonetheless, she missed the comfort of her family, the familiarity of her homeland, and the freedom of riding her dragon without owing responsibilities to foreign lands. As time went by, Laena became aware of Daemon's sadness. It was getting difficult for him to hide his misery behind the tough image he likes to display. His behavior was different, it was like he tried to fake an unbothered personality after Rhaenyra’s wedding. Marriage and the birth of her twins didn't fulfill Daemon’s void; not enough to calm down the demons in his head. Depression was gradually consuming his sanity and he was feeling out of control. Therefore, a few months after the delivery of his daughters, he mounted Caraxes and flew away from Pentos, leaving Laena and her daughters alone for some time. He wanted to feel complete and comfortable again; therefore, he returned to King's Landing with the high expectation of feeling better by seeking Mysaria’s affection. Daemon believed that Mysaria would alleviate the pain in his heart or at least temporarily suppress the depressed feelings in his head. He did feel a sense of satisfaction. Not because of his mistress, but because he was in his homeland, close to his family, yet far away from them. He was not ready to face his brother, even less see Rhaenyra and her children. Daemon also started feeling guilt for being unfaithful to his devoted wife, so he immediately left the brothel without a word and returned to Pentos, where he confessed and disclosed his deeds to Laena.

After almost three months, Mysaria realized she was expecting a child. Perplexed by the discovery, she found herself in a state of denial, questioning if she ever took the moon tea. She did, but she didn't want to accept the pregnancy. The potion did not work. Perhaps, moon tea is not as effective as people claim it to be. She was not a lady of the nights anymore; it's been a long time since she opened her own brothel and established herself as head of a network of spies in Kings Landing. The only person she bedded within the last few months was Daemon and he left for Pentos without saying a word. Months later, shortly before the birth of her child, Daemon received a message from Flee Bottom (the poorest and most dangerous slum in King’s Landing):

Prince Daemon Targaryen,

I'm expecting my first child, and the prince is the father. I was confused and shocked as you probably are at this very moment. I just want to let you know, I remember taking the moon tea, but the baby has a rebellious spirit and decided to make my womb his temporary home.

The baby will not have a bright future among the brothels and the dangers of the street of silk. I do not want him to encounter the miseries and sufferings I did when I was young. I do not want him to get influenced by bad people, kidnapped, or appeared dead in some alley. So please, before I grow fond of him, take him away from here and raise him with the privileges your lineage offers.

Love,

Mysaria.

Daemon left Pentos without informing his wife again and returned with a baby. Damon brought the baby girl the same way his mother did, Princess Alyssa Targaryen mounted him and his brother on her dragon for a ride a few days after being born. Likewise, Daemon put the baby girl, Daenessa, in swaddling clothes and mounted Caraxes with her when she was less than a month old. Daenessa grew up next to her half-sisters, Baela and Rhaena. Laena’s kindness and empathetic soul accepted Daenessa as one of her own. She never treated her less than her other daughters and taught her everything about the family, Westeros, and Essos.

[my-mt-heart]

Daryl calling Laurent creepy seems OOC (except for s1 Daryl) but Daryl was already very cold towards Henry and probably thought he was useless or at least he didnt want to have anything with him. He only cared because he was Carol's kid.

He barely shared any scenes with Carl and when he said " i would have died for him" ir was, to me, only becaise it was Rick's kid. In that regard, he would have died for Henry too.

The only kids he really cares about are are Judith and RJ because he actually had time to have a growing bond with them.

Even Sophia, he only went though hell to find her because he was really, deeply, though unable to admit it at the time, devoted to Carol. If he had time to bond with her, that would have been different (with Carl though, they had 8 seasons, and no excuse : bad writing. Thank God they fixed it with Judith mainly, and RJ).

All this to say that he doesnt have "a thing" for kids, to me. But Laurent is probably gonna change that, and well, Aaron sid say "you re going to be a gread dad one day" or something like that so.. this has to led somewhere, even 10 000 seasons later, right?

I dont think he's gonna find Laurent creepy anymore after a few eps. He s probably gonna care for him a lot. Laurent is mysterious and interesting to me.

And i dont mind anyway, as long as the endgame is Caryl and team family.

Just my two cents of course

Well, I think Daryl was more agitated that he had to look after the kid Carol adopted with another man rather than at Henry's naivety, but yes, he did it for Carol. If we choose to accept deleted scenes as canon, we could say Daryl wasn't very kind to Sophia or Carl at first. I don't think he had the skillset to deal with kids in the early days of the show, but his bond with Carol and with Rick taught him how to bond/ look after their children. Then there's Lydia, who he also wasn't kind to at first, but she was introduced as an antagonist, so that explains that. With Laurent though, Daryl's attitude reads as insensitive to me, and since the kid isn't presenting himself as a threat and he doesn't belong to someone he's had time to form a bond with, I'm just not sure what's prompting it. It feels off.

I'm not saying their relationship won't grow. Of course it will. But we're meant to believe he'll grow so attached to him, he starts to feel torn between his family back home and the new connections he's made. That's what the synopsis suggested, didn't it? That's what gives me pause. Because Daryl is a character known for his loyalty (to TF) and for taking a long time to form meaningful attachments. So I'm very skeptical a bond that deep between Daryl and Laurent can be properly earned in 6 episodes. I expect it to feel forced and I expect it to undermine what makes Daryl Daryl to me and to cheapen the endgame for Caryl and for TF. If the next 5 episodes prove otherwise, I'll gladly take it, but that is my biggest concern at the moment.

Thank you for dropping in your two cents. I appreciate it!

[ackermansimper]

Heyy I'm a huge simp simp for Kenny, can you do an mp officer being completely devoted to Kenny? Kinda like you did with Levi?

Sure! And sorry for being inactive for a few days. I was outta town and couldn't connect 😭

Kenny with someone completely devoted to him

You and Kenny met when he first joined the military. He made his little speech about not giving a damn and soon you were sold on his idea

You soon was able to catch him alone and tell him your devotion and loyalty towards him

"Sir!" you saluted. "I admire your prospects and perspective about.. all this. I wanna give you my loyalty and devotion. I'll stick around for whatever!"

Kenny wouldn't think much of it at first since he'd assume your just all talk. In fact he didn't feel obligated to care and would just leave you with your own feelings as he'd see it

He'd be intrigued once he saw you actually act on your so called 'devotion' towards him though.

You'd begin sticking by his side more often and dealing with anyone bothering you and the squad. You'd be there to deal with any back talk, you'd raise a sword for anyone threatening Kenny or coming too close, and you'd make sure everyone else stayed in line.

You were useful on his team to say the least and everyone knew it. You did end up becoming friends with the girl he made his second in command though. Traute Caven

Together you'd legit be unstoppable. You two would probably do most of the fighting while Kenny would begin threatening and holding knives up to people's necks

It worked for everyone on the squad and Kenny saw it fit so he never minded it

He'd definitely try joking with you a bit or teasing your intense loyalty towards him. He'd just get bored randomly and since you're always by his side, he'd start teasing the hell outta you

He'd find just about any reaction you gave funny. You could get mad or be awkward and he'd find it hilarious because of you usually resorting to violence yet you just stayed still

Kenny would feel a bit cocky having you on his team. He'd redeem you as one of his most worthy squad members and would be pretty vocal about it

Would definitely start insulting anyone you were beating down. Like he'd just be on the side insulting them while cheering you on in a way

If you ever were given the chance to protect Kenny and took it, he wouldn't admit you doing it. He'd probably come up with some lame excuse that he had it and didn't need you to swoop in so dramatically to save him

If he was able to save you though, he'd be hella arrogant about it. Even if you had the situation under control, he'd see himself as the hero in it

"Oi this time I saved your ass. You better be working overtime, weren't you supposed to be the one protecting me?"

It'd all be a very obvious joke but he'd never let you live it down

If you two were to ever actually end up getting together, he wouldn't have a doubt in his mind that you could handle yourself. He'd still look out for you despite this but wouldn't be obvious about it

He wouldn't go anymore softer on you though. Especially with other people around. He might be a bit more open to if you're alone but the most he'll ever do is thank you in a sorta awkward way for your loyalty

He isn't really emotional and crap so he wouldn't want you to ever get emotional. If you were to though, I think the thing holding him back from leaving is that you're valuable to his squad and he's in a relationship with you. That's the only reasons he has though

He usually isn't one for clingy people but since he first saw it as your loyalty which he needed, he would have gotten used to it from you already. He just would be less open to sappy clinginess. He prefers the clinginess where you kill people for him instead

Kenny isn't good with commitment so he'd respect you for yours. He'd definitely somewhat try though. More of a 'you scratch my back, I scratch yours' typa way though. It's the only excuse he'd have for doing it other than caring about you which he'd cringe too much to admit

Overall, Kenny would appreciate your efforts although he'd rarely say it. He'd have respect for you and a slight admiration which he usually doesn't just give out to anyone

♥ Thank you for reading ♥

Hope you enjoy, requests are opened! And I'm getting to the requests already in my inbox <33

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired. 

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!