#i'm sorry i love them both but 2019 me was like depression

[regrah]

Prayed so hard not to redraw and finish off something from 2018 yet it turns to literal kh angst

[whatsthepointinstayinghere]

Ortega. The Yuma lookalike

First post test. Just because.

You guys ever noticed how Ortega in Pokémon Scarlet and violet looks exactly like Yuma from MDA: Raincode?

I've always wanted to point that out because I find it hilarious.

• BOTH are males

• BOTH have purple eyes

• BOTH have a short physical build

• BOTH have pink hair styled in a bowl cut

Yuma: "DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN!"

Either way I freaking adore them both! 🩷💜

Ortega is Fairy Type Yuma while Yuma is Ghost type Ortega.

Yuma is kindhearted with a strong sense of justice while Ortega is competitive, bratty and short tempered while hiding real feelings behind the insults he throws at people.

Just some things about me:

By the way this is my first ever Tumblr post. I'm a new guy so I'm the newbie dumbass. I'm a massive fan of MDA Raincode, Danganronpa, Monster Hunter alongside other video games. I actually research multiple video games and really look into any new characters that catch my interest.

Usually I've been in the dark because I don't use many forms of social media (I was raised strictly so I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone online until I was 19 in 2019) so yeah... I'm an internet hermit. I first had a taste of online socialising when I created a YouTube account to talk in the Super Smash Bros Ultimate streams I was taking part in. Then from there I joined Discord just so that I could remain in contact with my friends I made there. However after years of struggling with fitting into online communities I've had no choice but to back away from people due to my health. Having social anxiety really doesn't help, plus I'm autistic so I really struggle with a lot of basic things people can do easily. (For example instructions have to be simplified for me so that I can understand them step by step).

I'm a gamer who loves multiple video games but always struggles with talking about my passions wherever I go. People find me annoying, see me as a spammer (especially as I love posting memes I find on the internet just to spread joy and try to make people laugh) and ban me from community servers because I'm too emotional (when I feel low I have a bad habit of venting just so someone can show some kind of support, as I don't talk to anyone in reality. Unfortunately there's a lot of people who can't stand people like me, since my depression is triggering for them, so they throw me out, never speaking to me again.

This of course made me feel worse about myself and I've been isolating myself. Due to my lack of socialising (I've always had problems with making friends) I find peace with the characters I fall in love with in video game. Mostly because I can relate to them. I believe that everyone has their mains. Their number one character(s) they love the most. That's the main reason why I love the games I play.

I'm going to give Tumblr a go. I know that people often use this place for fanart however, I'm a really terrible artist so I won't post any of mine. Also I'm extremely reluctant in showing off any random fanart I find online because I learnt the hard way that it's extremely rude to just post other people's art without crediting them. I'm deeply sorry.... I didn't get a manual of online art posting etiquette so I was completely clueless and I'm permanently ashamed of it. It was because I was so used to copying and pasting any nice pictures I saw online onto my private discord server. So I wasn't used to big communities (an example of my dumb brain however it's wired differently and I take things literally so I'm just not going to post any fanart whatsoever in public) yes.. I am terrified of being told off, and it's got only worse after getting banned from four discord video game communities. I'm also an ex mod so I can tell whenever a server mod is more into status than actually caring for the community.

I'm sick of explaining everything about myself as a human being who just happened to be born a little bit different than most people who spend their whole lives on social media. I'm sensitive, outspoken and I just want a place in the gaming community who will just accept people like me. I'm the kind of person who speaks their mind and when upset or angry I tend to say nasty things at people but I immediately regret it.

At least here i can just post random crap that's on my mind. About my favourite video games and characters while people can choose whether they want to hang out or not.

I'm a kind hearted person who looks out for everyone. I allow people to vent if ever they feel sad or alone. I hate to see people get hurt and I'd love to see them get well ❤️‍🩹. I will never push anyone away just because they are being too "triggering" while I understand that these things can upset other people it still doesn't make it right to criminalise the person who is in need of support from other humans. Treat others how you'd want to be treated. Yes I do talk about deep topics if I must, I am into horror game lore after all so I've heard it all. However hopefully I'll warn everyone if something I'm about to talk about is too dark.

I'm going to say this as well. I apologise if I type too much. Because of the way I am I go into as much detail about pretty much everything as possible. Yes, I've had nasty comments about it.

I DO make videos on YouTube but at the moment I've shut myself down from it. Hopefully if I feel better I'll open it up again.

Anyway I'm glad to get most of that personal shit out of the way just so that you have an understanding of what to expect from me, I'm certainly not mainstreamer. For the most part I'm just a geek for multiple video games.

P.S I suck with hashtags by the way.

[decadentboat]

About lastest TBV chapter(8)

Spoilers !

What a mess...

The one thing to be glad about is Mitsuki's character finally moving. Finally realizing things and not backpedaling(what happened in his arc pretty much) Is what I have been waiting for since 2019.

Some points of the chapter:

So people are jumping to the Mitsuki and Eida ship so fast that makes me think they are threatened by her curiosity about Boruto, so they want to take her out of the way. I thought that convo was very similar to the one Mitsuki had with Sumire in the novels. Sarada, Sumire, Eida, all these girls had once convo with Mitsuki about their feelings and the focus ends up being Boruto. Can you really call this a shipping moment of said characters when the person they elevate is another one?

Mitsuki blushing was very cute, I wish it was for Chouchou though, but we know they hate that, right?

About his feelings for Eida. Well, we know they are fake but even so he wanted to be thankful. And I think... Why is Mitsuki always thinking he isn't able to do or feel things on his own? Is it because of the "bliss" of ignorance? Because he is very humble? Or it's because of low self-esteem? Idk man, this series depresses me. If he really can't then give me a reason why this is the case, and not just "I'm artificially created"

I wouldn't mind friendship between Eida and Mitsuki, if anything I hope her powers render useless at some point so she can have a happy life too. But I cannot see them as a couple. I ship mitsucho ofc, but even if I take that aside for a second, it's the "feel" Eida gave off at the start that made me think she was a way mature woman. Knowing about what drinks she liked, talking about liking older men and how dreamy they were, about being monogamous. Which teenager talks like that? Even Delta sounds more bratty and youthfully and she is way older. Mitsuki, on the other hand, as mature he seems, is very innocent. IDK it feels wrong? Not even in the cute way of teaching someone less experienced about life. TBH this is also the reason Code Eida felt weird for me at first, but then they confirmed they both were the same age so I guess it's fine.

Loved that thumbs up Delta, it was so cute :_:

Mitsuki is almost the same height as Eida, does that mean he is shorty like Chouchou?... I mean it's not what I wanted but I find it cute too :___:

GOD, I just know Inojin is going to be humiliated when he said "I'm going to protect you"(Like the rest of Team 10). Why does this series insist on doing him this dirty??

Even so, he reassured Hima it would be alright. It was very cute. I found it funny people hated it as if Inojin was trying to flirt with her when they ignore their relationship in the anime and novels, where Inojin holds Himawari in high regard and respect despite her being younger. You could take that moment even as friendship if you don't like the ship. People are cringe.

I HAVE TO SEE THAT BUTTERFLY MODE PLEASE, and her lightning release...

I want to take a break from the series, not just say I'm gonna drop it. I'm... Tired. Not only the series make me sad about how dirty they made mitsucho as characters and as a ship, but also the fandom is what I cannot stand anymore. Whatever the end will be, I will have to accept it, but my mitsucho... I will sink with it all together if it doesn't happen. Love them together too much, not sorry.

[rileyandreagan-blog]

9-14-2023

My dearest Riley & Reagan,

its been over 3 years since I've written, and I'm so sorry for this absence. Riley, by now this has been a few letters in that I've written to you but Reagan, this is the first for you.

Girls, I'm sorry that most of what you read on here is always daddy being sad or daddy being depressed but honestly this is my way of venting and also giving you girls some insight into who mommy and daddy are. Mommy & daddy got married on a Friday, February 22nd 2019. as of today we have been married for a little over 4 years. Daddy loves you guys so much and I would do my best to never hurt you. 2 days ago on 9-12-2023, Mommy has decided that we separate and possibly get a divorce. Now, I just want you to know that this has nothing to do with you and you girls are our first priority. I don't want a separation and/or divorce but daddy has to let mommy go and have her space for now hoping that one day she will come back and love me again, just as much as she loves the both of you. Riley, I've told you before that I promise I would never lie to you and that I would always be open with whatever information you would want to know and I plan to hold that same promise to you, Reagan.

In the beginning, daddy wasn't always the best daddy. I was a bad guy who did nothing but selfish things and cared for nobody but myself. it took a long time for me to learn how to be the daddy that you know today and it wasn't an easy thing to do but I'm sure you'll hear the phrase "nothing worth it comes easy". I hurt mommy emotionally and also physically. I never beat her nor had any intentions on hurting her physically but there has been an instance where I threw her on the bed to prevent her from fighting with mama and she says I threw her against a wall. Now that's not how I recall it but I can't be the one to say I didn't do it if that's what she felt. I also pushed her aside to the point that she almost fell over trying to get Reagan out of the car. I'm not proud of these things and I completely regret my actions and how I was. I want to be the best example of how a man should treat your mom as well as you girls in the future when you decide to date. Now, Riley you're only 10 currently and Reagan you're only 2 so I have some time to get better and improve so that when the time comes I have all the tools I need to be a better daddy for you and hopefully a better husband for mommy.

Mommy wants a separation which means I had to move out of the house and back into mamas house so that she can have her space. This is only happening because daddy messed up and was flirting and talking to other women through text. Now, I just want you girls to know just what I told mommy. I never had intentions of meeting up or even being with anyone else but your mommy. I just wanted that emotional attention that your mommy wasn't able to give me. Mommy has also been very short, distant, and cold towards daddy for a few years now and that's what caused me to seek attention in other places. Just to be clear, what daddy did was wrong and it should have never happened. People make mistakes and its up to them to learn from it or run deeper into it.

Daddy's heart breaks every single day not having mommy around and it breaks even more because I can't see you girls every single day like I'm used to. I love and miss you guys and your mommy so much that this pain is making it hard for me to breathe. I've been surviving these past few days and just existing with no motivation or desire to do anything but sleep hoping that the time will pass by faster so that mommy and daddy can be together again. I can't sleep well, I can't eat, and I can't even think straight because I'm constantly thinking about you guys, my family. I've been praying for the past few years hoping that mommy can find her way back to me but so far it's been a hard uphill battle. It started making daddy sad and even sometimes mad. There's even been times I'm mad at God for not hearing my prayers and it's been making me not believe that he listens to daddy. I was listening to music hopefully to make me feel better and I came across a song that made me cry because it spoke to me and how I'm hurting.

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in 'Cause I got time while she got freedom 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even"

I have hope that one day, mommy will love daddy just as much and we will be all together again, a family. I can't let you girls know enough that I love you with all my heart and I miss you.

you guys are still young and this might be confusing right now but one day, it'll be clear and easier to understand. I just want to say sorry for not being the best daddy you thought I was. I hope I can change that and you can forgive me and love me as much as I love you two and mommy. I'll do my best to write you more often and let you know how I am.

From the bottom of my heart with love,

Daddy

[stormblessed95]

https://t.co/akAKnfXq03?amp=1

I'm not shipper but as jm fan i started to notice something different about him and jk relationship.so I believed that there's a possibility of them being a couple. as we now being in love or in relationship doesn't mean that it's certainly should stay forever. so i don't understand why most of the blogs in here diminishes any possibility of fight or breakup between them at certain points. plus no one considere the possibility of jk dating mijoo at some point. isn't that makes us like tkkrs who are stuck in the same period. and just to clarify I'm not insecure because there's nothing too be insecure about. 2 poeple could be in relationship or they just sames to be.all it's matter to me that they're happy with their partners. i just read this blog and started wonder why not one believes that jk could be dating this girl. sorry for my English and May long ask🙏💓.I send it to different bloggers to know other opinions

Hello anon. I debated a long time on if to answer this or not. Not because I have any insecurities or worries about it but simply because this was a horrible time for Jungkook. He was dragged to hell and back over and over again for absolutely no reason. It was horrible and sad and depressing. It's not a time period that should be revisited over so many times. But I'll answer it once and then never again, I'll say everything I want to say here and then move on. I won't post asks about it, agreeing or disagreeing because it's not a topic I want taking up space here. You can all feel however you want to feel about it, I just won't be posting any more posts on it. I hope you all understand.

So this was in Fall/Winter time of 2019, during their break. And honestly the ONLY reason people think they are dating is because Mijoo is a woman. It's an extremely heternormative view point to have. The reasons people state for believing them to be a couple all came out after CCTV footage was illegally shared. The reasons include the backhug footage that was leaked and them clinking their glasses together when they went out to eat. They also said it's because they both now have an eyebrow piercing. And because JKs tattoos look a lot like drawings she has posted (hint. She is a tattoo artist and JK got his tattoos done at her shop.... shocker there are some similarities there).

The back hug and drinks in question ^

This is EXTREMELY normal friend behavior. The only other evidence they could be dating is circumstance at best, including Mijoo receiving flowers everyone said were from JK but Mijoo said they weren't and were from a friend. Or the fact that she is also friends with some of the other 97 liners, who ya know.... also got tattoos from her shop.... crazy they could all just be friends? If THIS is what makes a relationship real then all of BTS are in a relationship with each other... and people who believe JK and Mijoo are right uo there with tkkrs. Both believe it regardless of the people involved saying it's not true. Except tkkrs have more intimate moments, hugs, kisses, and cuddles then anyone who thinks JK and Mijoo are a thing. Sooo honeslty the only thing that the Mijoo relationship has going for it is the fact that she is a woman. That's literally it. And if you don't see the problem with that, I don't know what to tell you.

I mean really. Even their back hug looks more friendly then the ones BTS engage in. You would be able to convince me of NamKook before you could convince me of Mijoo. Skinship and hugging is normal in Korea, regardless of gender. And again, BTS all together have more intimate looking hugs than the one they had together.

And even Mijoo has posted photos with her friends on her public Instagram with ANOTHER man backhugging her with his arms around her... again, looking more intimate than the one she had with JK. This is normal friend behavior.

And with them sitting at dinner clinking glasses? Have you never clicked glasses with a friend? Why does this mean they are dating? Other than the fact that they are a man and a woman sitting next to each other and having a good time? Especially because AGAIN we have more intimate actions between the members themselves regarding eating together and literally feeding each other. You could again convince me of OT7 poly before you could convince me of Mijoo.

Not to mention that Jikook had a very sweet late night hotel dinner date just the two of them, where they giggled and fed each other alone.... in a hotel room... and yet somehow because Mijoo is a woman, that makes it more believable. Lol

Not to mention, the dinner they had, that photo is cropped. JK was visiting family in Geoje during their break and ran into Mijoo and other friends there as well. They decided to all grab some food together. There were 6 other people with them at that table. They weren't even alone or acting cuddly. It wasn't a date. Statement issued by BH and Mijoos tattoo company about it below.

And then the very flimsy they both now have eyebrow piercings.... so do a million other people?? Lol and that's it as far as matching for them goes. Not only does BTS have similar piercings together as well (their ears) but they also share jewelry and have matching jewelry all together. Especially the maknae line. So if we believe this theory, I would again be convinced of a vminkook throuple before I would be convinced of Mijoo. A few examples, you could easily find hundreds though

And not to mention their red string soulmate bracelets that I'm pretty sure they ALL have but that TaeGi never take off and Jimin wears constantly and those 3 especially show theirs off. Soooo again, they try to use the couples matchy traditions but they don't match and BTS has her beat out in that area together as well.

They also mentioned Mijoo liking comments on Instagram saying that they support her if she is dating JK. But she was liking EVERY comment that was supportive during the influx of hate she was getting, even if it had nothing to do with JK. Anything she saw that was positive, she liked.

I'll also had super quick that the people who believed this the most, continued to bring it up and make theories about it were NOT koreans. It was C-ARMY. K-ARMY were all more pissed about the breach of privacy and disrespect shown to JK during this time. They let go of the possibility of them dating as soon as the rumors were denied because again, none of the theories and photo evidence has anything more than friendship vibes, especially for what it normal in Korea.

Soooo no, I don't think not believing they were ever anything more than friends makes me anything like taekookers being stuck in the same period. They just literally didn't do anything to indicate they were a couple. Everyone just lost their shit over the fact that they saw JK hanging out with a woman. Which is honestly really freaking dumb.

And I don't dismiss the idea of a fight or break up between Jikook simply because I don't want it to happen. I've discussed Manila and Rainy day here before and fully believe they have had many fights we don't know about. Fights are normal in even the healthiest and steadfast of relationships. I believe they are together and I don't think they have broken up because I think we would see a major dynamic shift between Jikook that I honestly just did and do not see. Right after the Mijoo scandal, JK had a car accident scandal. And then a few weeks after that they filmed Winter Package 2020, go watch that and see that Jikook seemed FINE. I even have a post up about that if you want to read it on my masterlist. I'm not dismissing it because I don't want to see it, I'm dismissing it because there is literally nothing to see.

I can of course be wrong. And anyone is of course free to disagree. But this is how I see it and I hate the way JK and Jimin were treated during this period in 2019. It's abhorrent. I am basing these opinions off a lot of facts and you can find plenty more information about this that isn't just from gossip rags but legit spottings and things the companies and JK/Mijoo have literally said themselves. Anyway, hope this helped you understand why i think the idea of them being together is just... not true and this makes sense to you and anyone else who reads it. I think they were simply friends, and I honestly doubt after the insanity that this scandal was, that they are still friends. At the very least, I know JK went to a new tattoo artist so who knows. I feel so bad for him during all this, it was awful. Anyway, topic closed. Everyone is free to believe whatever they want about this in the end. Hope this helped!

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)

John: Am I cute

Six: Whatever makes you happy

--

Marina: Where’s my perfume?

Eight: I drank it

--

Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that

Five: I feel like doing that to you

--

Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen

--

Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts

Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE

--

John: *attempts to do something but fails*

Nine: Bitch thought

John: Shut up

Six: Bitch thought

Five: Bitch thought

One: Bitch thought

Eight: Bitch thought

Adam: Bitch thought

John: I hate you guys so fucking much

--

Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???

--

John: Raise your hand if you love dogs

Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish

--

Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead

Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up

--

Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.

Six: Become a lesbian

Six: Adopt a cat

Six: Plant a garden

Six: Live in a forest

Six: Destroy the patriarchy

Six: Travel the world

Six: Fuck shit up

Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*

--

Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl

--

Adam: Dude, are you high?

Sam: What? No

Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-

--

Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???

Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-

Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019

--

Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!

Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-

--

Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN

Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*

--

Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn

John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you

Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars

--

Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?

--

Literally anyone: *laughs*

Eight: Giggles

--

Hannu: No sad, just ball

--

Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-

--

One: Can I use your headphones?

Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-

One: Shut up you dumb fuck

--

Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch

--

Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?

Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?

--

John: What even goes on in your mind?

Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...

John:...

Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop

--

Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.

--

Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?

--

John: Hey, are you gay?

Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-

--

Six: *opens her online-shopping package*

Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?

Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-

--

Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away

--

One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?

--

Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!

Six: Ok pay me then

--

Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies

--

Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-

Nine: I don't know you

Sam: Bitch-

--

Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me

Marina: Why?

Ella: Why the fuck not?

--

Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*

John: Why'd you laugh?

Five: It's a coping mechanism

--

Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's

Sarah, horrified: The WHAT

Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds

--

Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-

One: I will fucking drown you

--

Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS

--

One: Oh my god she's so cute

Adam: She has a girlfriend

One: Sharing is caring

--

Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL

Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH

--

Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else

John:...

Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away

John: Um...

Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag

--

Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money

--

Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately

Six: No

Sam: What?

Six: That's not allowed

Sam: Wha-

Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*

--

Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN

The pigeon on the sidewalk:

[bananzaarcade]

🕹Hello Hello!🕹

This is another @gigglemugphentermine alt and a @selfyshipzirkus new account!

..

Sup mini boppers! My name is chris,christie or murrissey and I'm just a 15 year old autistic and depressed attention deficit rat who is currently fixated on fanboy and chumchum,arcades and scene culture and I welcome you to the bananzaarcade!

This side account will be used for posting about my good amount of drawings of my ocs,oc/self insert x canon ships and fanarts of my fictional others,enjoy your stay!

...

F/o list(💌 if mainly focused atm)

Mettaton ex(UT)

Chris McLean(TD)

Boog Shlizetti(FBACC)💌

The Onceler(2012 Lorax)

2d(Gorillaz)

Rosemary(Delicious Party Precure!)

...

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE A:

Bigots in general(Lgbtphobe,racist,etc)

Anti Xenos/Mogai

Cringe culture Suppoters(you guys are the reason I feel embarassed while posting about my interests:))

Terfs,Radfems,Transmeds

Fandom(Canon vs Fanmade),LGBT and Racism discourse accounts

NSFW,KINK(specially DDLG),and Age Regressors

Anti Oc/Self insert x Canon shippers and people who believe into the OC vs CC barrier

Fujo/Fudan/Himesharts

PROSHITS(BOTH PROSHIPPERS AND PROFICTION PEOPLE) AND (AC/NO)MAPS/PEARS

...

Dangaronpa fans/srs

R/totaldramafanon and it members/supporters

AnimationgamingGuest and her stupid brainwashed bootlickers(don't you guys realize that she's the reason why I no longer feel safe in the popee the performer fandom,she groomed me and 5 other people!:D)

For your information:

I tend to talk and gush ALLOT about my f/os so please,if you share one with me and you are uncomfy with me doing it so,I reccomend blocking me and avoiding me at all costs

If you violate my DNI or simply makes me uncomfy I'll simply block you,no warnings

I tend to take my hyperfixations and love towards my f/os specially my current ones very seriously so please,refrain from telling me that they're "just fictional" and similiar,it's only fine to tell me that when I feel jealous towards someone who is more famous for liking the same f/o as me and about that

I have immense jealousy issues so please,make sure to calm me down during that,I can literally snap at people or even start showing self destructive behaviours from harming myself or even others,I'm so sorry

I am very emotional so please do not try to upset me or make me have a panic attack,I may be emotional but I also might end up bottling it all and leave your servers/unfollow you,you still free to talk with me and so find a solution for the problem,but,if I end up blocking you once you upset me,this simply means I don't want to talk with you at all

I tend to use the classic emotions like :), :(,:P,>:(,XD etc, since I loved using them on my computer times on roblox so yeah,I'm NOT doing this for attention

I tend to type stuff in the end with !!!!!!,?????? And words where I replace the s with z,w,and x because I think it's fun

Currently the year my mindset is at is early 2000s-late 2010s so please do not harass me over it,I seek comfort in nostalgia and allot even tho I only Joined the internet around 2015 and officially became apart of it in 2018/2019,I may have arrived right when the fun stopped but I still remember allot of things by there even as a kiddo:P

I have a au where the characters I love and their friends(ex:gorillaz & fanboy and chumchum) are all scemo cats or even cat hybrids with other animals so yeah

I know there are scums who might harass people over their characters,au and etc,since I used to be one before,if I find your comments/reblogs or even about your existence you r getting blocked!!!!

..

Thank you for understanding!

[impalementation]

Just got back on tumblr again after awhile and just wanted to say it was so cool seeing you reblog the ask regarding the Pietà, it was from my old account and I’m fangirling like crazy that you remembered it. You’re the first person I followed, I love your analysis on Buffy. You take so many thoughts I too have about the show and eloquently and concisely talk about them in a way I never could and I thank you for that cause scrolling down your blog is just an insightful and amazing time. When I watched Buffy for the first time (2019) I was high for the most of it cause I was a depressed stoner and when I got to season 6 I related so much to both Buffy and Willow. Reading your thoughts on the season (and all other seasons) made me feel less alone in my thoughts cause I was and still am a loner and never had anyone to talk to about BTVS. Anyways I’m rambling and just wanna say your fucking awesome and I’ll be looking forward to catching up on all the posts I’ve missed!

Ahh, thank you so much!! I'm sorry it took me a while to reply to this, I've been avoiding tumblr at the moment, but it means a ton to me. It makes me really happy to know that my thoughts on the show made someone else feel less alone, because feeling alone in my own thoughts on the show was one of the reasons I started the blog in the first place. (And perhaps like you, my feelings on season six were definitely ones I felt particularly alone in. It’s been nice in the last few years to see increasing numbers of people talking about loving and appreciating that season.)

Anyway, thank you again for all of the kind words. And for the Pietà ask--it was very fun to answer. Hope life’s treating you better these days (but if not, I know how that goes). 

[butterbeeryuta]

ok. let's get this over with.

hi! this is niki.

so many of you might already know due to my inactivity for almost half a year, but yes, i no longer make fics.

i am super sorry for everyone who follows this account, and i am very sorry for even trying to make posts like 'from now on i'll post again' or 'i'll be doing x instead of y' cause well, i never had the time to do it.

i do love creating my own stories and pieces of art because it provides me a safe space to let out everything. i noticed that i was most active on tumblr when both my depression and anxiety were really bad to the point where i had to visit my psychiatrist every week. creating stories and making my own universe was such a therapeutic activity for me, and i genuinely thank everyone for interacting and being a part of my healing journey. now, i don't take medication anymore and i'm just happier from my part time job and being around my 2 amazing friends i met in uni.

i love nct so so much. they've been with me since 2019, and they've only made me happy. i do love them all and their music till now, but as chenle said, they're just a passing moment of my life. i'm happy i found the boys, and they'll forever remain as a precious memory of mine.

thank you to everyone for being nothing but lovely and awesome to me.

have a great day everyone

[dear-wormwoods]

I read It many years ago and was a real fan of Reddie back then. Then the movies came out.. It was amazing seeing all the fancontent, so I read a handful of fics and was completely thrown by how OOC the characters felt. Finally last month I sat down and watched both the new movies and to this day I am still heated about how badly they butchered...everything. I just wanted to say thank you for all you've written on the topic, it has kept me sane knowing there are others w/ the same opinions lol

(previous anon, sorry, I wanted to add this) I'm also amused to see you're a fan of South Park/Kyle as well since SP was also a big interest of mine during childhood and it's blowing my mind how adjacent Eddie and Kyle are hahaha

Thank you so much. Also, I love you?

I had to stop reading It fanfic because of what you said, and it's sad! I wish Chapter Two did a better job with both characters, because then I think we'd have a vastly different (and better) fandom experience. It's just depressing to think about what could have been. Chapter One did a better job of getting the vibes right, but yeah, it also butchered a lot of things. We all understand that it's hard translating a long-ass book to screen (which is why it should have been a limited series instead of two movies) but man, it's just too much. Too much went wrong.

But, I'm glad you liked my metas! I really do love the book despite its glaring flaws, and I miss 2018/2019 when I was fired up about it and churning out posts. Chapter Two really killed my mood.

As far as Kyle and Eddie go... yeah, they both have traits that I always tend to gravitate to when it comes to picking favorite characters. And they both have crazy, overprotective moms! Although I would argue that Sheila's heart is in the right place and she isn't abusive, (though she certainly has the guilt tripping down) compared to Sonia who is genuinely evil.... on the surface there are similarities.

I'm thinking right now specifically about the dramatic guilt dreams Kyle has when he's done something wrong versus Eddie feeling guilty when he has to do communion at church or when he sees the shoplifting sign at the pharmacy - he hasn't even DONE anything, but he still feels like he's going to be punished somehow because he thinks he's inherently bad. It's just such a good example of the different ways guilt is used by their parents (not just mothers because Kyle's dad does it too) to control them... Sonia makes Eddie feel like there is something SO wrong with him that he has a reason to feel guilty and ashamed despite having done nothing to deserve it, but Sheila and Gerald use guilt more strategically to make sure Kyle KNOWS when he's done something wrong and ends up suitably scared of the consequences. But at the same time, both of them are aware that some things don't require guilt - Eddie breaks the rules constantly by playing in the Barrens and lying about injuries but he doesn't feel guilty about it because the 'rightness' of what he's doing goes beyond his mother's rules, and Kyle will also break the rules if it means saving or helping people or answering to some higher power, because those things are more important than Sheila's wrath. They both have really complicated relationships with right and wrong, despite having pretty solid moral compasses, because their parents use morality as a means of control.

I don't know if that made sense. It's just one example of how they're alike (though they're also both very different from each other too!).

[moonlight-breeze-44]

Hey Em! I've gone through most of your Malec fics and I really love them! (especially the autistic!Alec one but also all those dealing with Alec's mental health issues) I was wondering if you have other recs for me of fics you love, since I'm really new in the fandom and there's so much out there?

Hi there! I’m so glad you’ve been reading and enjoying my fics! That means so much to me :) You’re so sweet! <3

I always have fic recs, so I am more than happy to give you some anytime you want. Here’s a list of a few (or a LOT because I got carried away, oops) that I love with my whole heart. I’m not sure what kinds of fics you like, so I rec’d some of my faves and ones that are specifically about autistic!Alec or Alec & mental health issues.

~ ~ ~

- Walking With Death by Aria_Lerendeair. This is a fic about Malec becoming immortal husbands, and it’s angsty but so, so, so good. Death is a character and Alec buys him coffee.

- Stone Can Be Broken by lawsofchaos and the wonderful sequel Hearts Can Be Remade by Aria_Lerendeair. Both are very angsty, but Laws’ has a hopeful ending and Aria’s has a happy ending. Be sure to read the tags on Aria’s! <3

- Five Times Alec Hides His Tears And One Time He Doesn’t by notcrypticbutcoy. This fic is about Alec’s struggles with anxiety and it is such a heartwrenching read for me. 100/10 recommend. 

- Violet by cuubism. This one deals with some pretty serious suicidal thoughts, so be cautious! <3 Magnus and Alec meet each other on a bridge. Or, the one where helping someone else is sometimes easier than helping yourself. Written by cuubism of the Malec Discord server we’re a part of!

- Wish Upon A Shooting Star by Aria_Lerendeair. Another immortal husbands fic, and it is so, so sweet and has a whimsical, optimistic energy that will surely make you smile. (Bonus points: written by our very own sassy moderator of the Malec Discord server.)

- “You are hurt” by sugarandspace. I’m not sure how much you like parabatai feels, but if you do, this is THE FIC for you. Jenna, who is a member of our lovely Malec server as well, does it wonderfully. It’s set post-3x18 Malec breakup and it has Alec self-harming and lots of feels with him & Jace.

- A Different Time by TK_Extraordinaire. This fic is basically a character study of Alec, a look at how he evolved over the years told from the POV of others.

- Tell me I’m perfect (but tell me the truth) by SquaresAreNotCircles. This fic is one of my favourite fluffy ones and it’s basically 7.5k of Alec talking about how much he loves his boyfriend to everyone who’s not him and then one time Magnus finds out about these secret compliment-fests.

- Brother Let Me Be Your Shelter by alistoney. This fic deals with Alec’s self-harm and it is an add-on to that scene in season 1 when Alec storms away after Jace & Clary kiss. Lots of Izzy and Alec feels, provided graciously by the amazing Zia of our Malec server.

- I will catch you when you fall by sugarandspace. Another fic where Alec self-harms, but this time it’s Magnus helping him out.

- Quiet now, you’re gonna wake the beast by EternallySilverMagnusAndAlec. This is a wonderful autistic!Alec fic that also goes into the emotional trauma that Alec has to deal with from Maryse. Written by EternallySilver of the Malec Discord server!

- Not So Unrequited by Aria_Lerendeair. A best friends to lovers AU that goes through their journey together as friends (including lots of delicious angst) and eventually leads to the confessing of feelings.

- The Lonely Hearts Hotline by Fatale (femme). I prefer oneshots to long fics, so this is one of the only fanfics I’ve read that surpasses 20k. This is the story of CEO Magnus and phone sex operator Alec and yes, it is absolutely as good as it sounds. 100/10 must read.

- Subjective by Accal1a. This fic was actually just posted tonight in the Malec Discord server, but I wanted to link it in case you didn’t see. Hannah has an amazing way with words. This is a 5+1 about Alec & dealing with homophobia. It isn’t all posted yet, but it will be soon, and the first chapter is SO GOOD.

- Autistic Alec AU by AceOnIce. This is a series of fics where Alec is a mundane and autistic, and it shows the journey of his relationship with Magnus. It’s amazing and also written by one of our Discord server members, Amelia.

- shed my skin, my scars by ByTheAngell. This fic is another fic about Alec & self-harm, written by the wonderful Elle of the Malec Discord server, with a few mentions of other ways of not taking care of himself, too. It’s set post-canon and portrays the way that people can fall back into bad habits quickly and easily very well.

- On Thunderstorms and Scared Shadowhunters by alxdrlightwood. The fic in which Alec slowly begins to accept that it’s okay to have a phobia, and Magnus is there to provide cuddles.

- And They Were Roommates by CoolStoryMatt. A roommates college AU where Malec are oblivious idiots that really need to learn to communicate better. Another of the rare above 20k faves of mine. Absolutely hilarious, with great plot and so many moments that’ll make you yell at your screen.

- Whumptober 2019 by Donovanspen. This is a series of works with Malec hurt/comfort and angst.

- No reason to feel like this by sugarandspace. A fic in which Alec deals with depression, and Magnus is there for him.

- it took me years to say the words that you did not even need said by arekiras. A series of fics about autistic!Alec and his life as a Shadowhunter, Head of the Institute, and boyfriend/husband to Magnus Bane.

- Red-Handed by Carmenlire. This is a fic about Alec relapsing with self-harm and Magnus being there for him. Like Elle’s fic above, it also portrays the way one can slip back into bad habits quickly and easily very well.

- Reasons To Stay by AceOnIce. This fic is a 5 times fic with 5 times Alec wanted to die, but didn’t.

- holding onto you by anonlymous. Another Alec & self-harm fic where Magnus is there for him.

- Once You Taste It by Carmenlire. Yet another Alec & self-harm fic, with Alec making the choice to go to Magnus before things get too far.

- An Unlikely Angel by thatnerdemilyj. This fic is a Fraywood brotp where Clary leaves nice sticky notes for Alec after being exposed to all of the bad thoughts in his mind. Bonus points, it’s written by the lovely creator of our Malec server, the other Em!

- First step after the fall by sugarandspace. A fic about the aftermath of 2x08 but Magnus has wings as a warlock mark and he used those to save Alec when he jumped. Lots of angst for both Magnus & Alec!

- Survive In That Despair by thattrainssailed. This fic is one of the only no-dialogue fics I’ve ever read, but it makes the emotion that much more potent. It’s another Alec & self-harm fic, and it’s more graphic than the others I’ve rec’d here, so please be extra cautious! <3

- We Care For Each Other by ZequoiaRose. A bad day fic with absolutely ridiculous amounts of hurt/comfort. So soft, I don’t even have words. 100/10 recommend. 

- I cannot touch because they are too near by jillyfae. This fic is honestly the best fic about the parabatai bond I’ve ever read. It has a truly lovely amount of wordbuilding and is told from Magnus’s POV where he wants to know more about the bond Alec & Jace have. Extremely soft and written by jilly from our Malec Discord server.

- Between The Lines by Carmenlire. If you like pre-canon fics at all, this is an absolute must-read. It tells a heartwrenching story of Alec & his repression due to the Shadowhunters’ homophobic society, told from Isabelle’s POV. 

- Starling by cuubism. One of the best fics about Alec & mental health issues, in my opinion. It’s absolutely heartbreaking in the best way. It can also be pretty intense, so be sure to read the tags and the author’s trigger warnings! <3

- Astraphobia by AceOnIce. An autistic!Alec college AU where Alec’s fear of thunderstorms causes him to meet Magnus for the first time. So, so, so cute. Like, illegally cute.

- The Breath of a Lie by Secretness. This fic is another one of the best fics about Alec & mental healh issues. Although, please be aware - it is very, very intense. This fic will fuck you up good if you’re not careful, so please take care of yourself. <3

- 11:45 by bidness. This fic is the last of my above 20k recs. It is the sweetest workplace AU you will ever read, where Magnus keeps stealing Alec’s lunch and leaving apology notes behind. Also written by the absolutely wonderful Tilly of the Malec Discord server.

- The Best High School Love Story (Maybe Ever) by Aria_Lerendeair. If high school AUs are your thing, you will absolutely love this. It features competitive Malec, best friends to lovers, and the cutest storyline to ever cute.

~ ~ ~

So I ended up giving you like, half of my bookmarks, oops. Sorry about that. I hope you find some that you like among these, and thank you so much again for reading my fics!

Thank you for the ask!

[araisbored]

Obelisk

That’s the only quirky title I could come up to make this a little bit more interesting.

I’m reviewing my favorite book again. More like making another post about it. Because I seem like the type of person to not shut up about something she truly, truly, deeply love. Though, I won’t really making a review. Because I am in no state to make one of those. I don’t know I just I’m not that qualified to that yet. Though I read millions of books, I still won’t. I re-read my last “review” and it just make me cringe because I can’t understand what I’m saying and there’s a bunch of errors on my sentence. Not that this whole post won’t containing grammar errors, but still. Also, the cringing intensifies when I saw that Jennifer Niven (the author of this book) liked my bizarrely wrong blog entry. Ms. Niven, if by any chance, reading this again, I love your work and I’m sorry for a lot of grammatical errors. Ms. Niven, your work changed my life and help me get through a rough time. Sounds cliché but its the truth. 

To repeat what I typed, I won’t make a review. Yet, I’ll post a very private diary log which where I somehow discuss my opinions about this book. So here it is. 

Trigger warning: Suicide topics, cutting and mental issues might come up on the next following paragraph. And it’s really graphic. Because it is a personal log on my digital diary. Beware. 

May 17, 2019: Theodore’s death, Avengers: End game and GoT discussion.

I never had a proper review of this book. Because lets be real here. Its me and probably won’t matter. Last time or more like last last year, I made a book recommendation/favourites about this book. And I emphasize on that blog post that it’s not a book review. NOT A BOOK REVIEW. At all.

Because:

I am scared of the internet scrutinizing my opinions and views about this book.

It’s about mental health or part of it. So it is really a sensitive topic and I even haven’t figured myself out. So I’m not really sure if  I’m the right person you want to have an opinion regarding with this topic. One thing about me is that you don’t go asking me questions on how you figured your life or how you deal with depression because, oh boy oh boy you’re in a wrong place honey.

Last night I searched Theodore Finch on twitter. Yes, twitter. Because that is where you get the real opinions. Real tea. As well as the stupid ones. And I read one thread or whatever you call it, some sort of a conversation or replies from one girl to another. (I just assumed you’re girl and I’m sorry if you’re not. I am really sorry for misgendering you.) The other girl said that she’s kind of annoyed how everyone around Theodore doesn’t get the signs when it’s literally on their faces. When you come to think of it. Its true. All the signs of Theodore’s disease was there. Bluntly on their faces. It’s kind of fascinating how it’s not noticed by his family and friends or even Violet. But again right now thinking about it, maybe because it happened when this world just slowly noticing or paying attention about mental health. Hold a second, let me search when it was published. Yeah, I'm right its 2015. A year of coming of age for the late Baby Boomers are introduced to depression and when people, mostly teenagers are committing suicide. I would be very harsh on my words because it was just me talking to myself anyways. So yeah, that's also the year where I'm cutting myself and wanted to kill myself. So no wonder Finch’s family have no idea about his mishaps and adventures. So about that discussion, it was already solved. That year was just the year where naïve people are introduced to mental health and issues. Anyways, back to that conversation. The other girl defended the book/author. That the author, Jenifer Niven, was just portraying real life happenings. That these things happens in real life. People really die because of mental health issues. By the way, Finch mental diagnosis wasn’t really mentioned on the book directly. As far as I can remember. That’s why I'm re-reading it again now. But so far zero mentioned of diagnosis or bipolarity(Is that even a word? idc.). Just the mention of him wanting to kill himself, the erotic changes in his moods, lack of appetite and being insomniac. He doesn’t sleep one night or he sleeps then have very bad nightmares after that. It’s pretty obvious but again, let’s refer to the points given above. Oh, oh! Then there’s one time he repainted his bedroom from blood red to blue. If that’s not alarming enough then idk anymore. But yes, 2015. The coming of age and the year where we birthed more stupid late boomers. But, yes. Wild book. A very wild and very BRILLIANT book. It’s the stupid characters or the people in Finch’s life that suck. Which is why I kind of sided to the girl who said that that the author doesn’t really write the characters well. Let’s call her Girl A. And the other girl who defend Niven, Girl B. I’m pretty sure you’re both girls but just in case, I’m gonna apologize again if I'm  misgendering you. Or if you don’t wanna be called a girl. I can’t say or disclose that Girl B was wrong because he clearly have a point too. It happens in real life. People die from depression and I might be one soon.

Just wanna say that It’s a good discourse. Arguments like that are my favorites where both sides are not wrong nor right either, makes you really think. A read. Both the book and that twitter discourse. If you happened to read it, good. But if not sorry I can’t link it for you. 

So for my opinion (oh no, here we go) I agree on both of them , as if its not yet obvious. I guess if it was written in the present days the author could’ve change the characters and made Finch alive. Or checked-in in a mental institution or he’ll be given a medical assistance he really needs. Because the only medical attention he was given was thru his Guidance councilor, Embryo. Which is a good thing, but also I think Finch’s situation needs more professional attention. No offence to all guidance councilors out there. I know you guys try your best. But you know, Niven can make Finch visit a psychiatrist in a clinic/mental institution right? Like violet. I know Finch’s financial state is bad but.. idk there’s something can be done here. But again it was during that time where people are shouting “Depression isn’t real”, stupid people posting tweets and Facebook status on how “Suicide is for the week”; they watch 13 reasons why and decided to skip the whole point of the show and just assumed that “yeah depression is for the weaklings”. It only shows how ignorant people are. They’re the kind of people who standby when you get punch on the face or laugh when people spreads rumors and lies about you. Basically, bystanders. I’m sorry I’m a little snappy. If you haven’t noticed. I don’t know I’m just mad today.

I think the book still holds it. And justify the ending. Though part of me really hate it too. But it kind of made me realized about a lot of things, not just about me but also about how I should interact with other human beings. I hate the ending because it breaks my heart but I guess it was necessary?? Or not. Any how,  It was a good ending. Maybe its just me because I’m a masochist. But I can not think of any other impactful and realistic way on ending it. (Rereading this again and I just need to clear things up. That IM NOT A MURDERER OR A KILLER. I DONT NORMALIZE SUICIDE,  but from a standing point the ending is justified. Its sad but its, again, realistic.) But still, breaks my heart, Theodore is a precious boy. Who deserves nothing but love. And I hope his story was more known by the people so jackasses would know how to treat their family and friends better. 

[This part was cut because I talked about Avengers and GoT ending; Which is very relevant to this topic]

Love,

Ara xx

So yeah, that’s some of my diary entry. Re-reading it makes me realized how funny I am. Jesus I should read more of these. Who knows, I might post it here. If it’s not that personal. I’ll end this here now. I hope wherever you are you’re having a good day.

Ttyl, Ara!

[threeletterslife]

CHjakldfjskANA I am lowkey embarrassed to say that I am confused by pt 2 of Ignis Fatuus ;-; I get what happens literally, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing out on all of the more underlying messages and what the ending is supposed to represent and what you were intending to convey ;-; I guess I'll just talk about parts that I thiNk I understood and hopefully won't make me sound like an idiot :D I really liked how the endings to both the dream and reality were paralleled,

but houf I was kind of exasperated in the beginning when everyone was dying on the hypothetical trip to the hospital. I always kind of felt like they would just let Y/N die, because logically speaking, even if they ended up at the hospital, none of them are really qualified to treat TSS so they would just be going on a suicide mission because as shown, zombies are e v e r y wh e r e :D So when it was revealed that was only a dream, I was like yAY thank goodness :,,) The part at the end before

Y/N dies when Jungkook corrects her saying “it’s did well and not did good” was a reaLLY nice way to end things though :,) jklsfjkls I don’t know, Chana pls send help+explanations because I’m definitely only understanding the very surface level ideas of Ignis Fatuus D: I think the very vEry ending though is a big part of the whole Ignis Fatuus thing though because back in pt 1 in Target Jungkook was like omg yes don’t worry Y/N things will be over and we’ll definitely be able to play baseball

again without any zombies around, but aaa Chana why are there thRee “endings”,, that’s making me think there’s something very elaborate about how all of the endings could be tied together/are related :,D 🌻 anyways I think? the first part to my ask might've not gone through because it didn't have the "thank you, your ask has been received" message when I clicked ask but o well :,) it was just me lowkey embarrassing myself because I am confused on the ending of Ignis Fatuus :,)

[SPOILER WARNING!]

GOOD NEWS! the first part of your ask WAS received!! and omg yes i totally understand ignis fatuus pt 2 was kinda hectic so lemme just clear up the confusion ✨

i think the whole ignis fatuus stORY is a bit hard to digest. the only ‘realistic’ element in the story is really that the members self-quarantined LOL. other than that, i really took inspiration from the office (though it may not seem like that). jungkook and yn are the only “normal” ones in the group of eight just like jim and pam were the only normal ones in an office full of crackheads LMAO. i just thought it would be cool to tell the story of two normal pple stuck with six other crazies (all equally obsessed with something different. i mean namjoon studying DURING the apocalypse?? seokjin obsessed with the kitchen? hoseok obsessed with his secretary??) and i chose to go for a very subtle romance so it wouldn’t overshadow the other dynamic characters

to elaborate on the endings!

the first one (the one that yn dreams): only in her wildest dreams would the seven men yn’s learned to love and live with DIE to save her. i mean, in a sick, twisted way, isn’t that what so many romance movies depict? the knight sacrifices his life to save his princess. it’s shit that only happens in your head. it’s tragic and stupid, yes, but also honorable in it’s own way. maybe yn subconsciously wanted all seven men to help save her life (even though it wouldn’t logically make sense). but maybe she wanted a knight in shining armor. i mean, isn’t that what media brainwashes women to think? yn’s dream is her subconscious acting up. she’s a helpless woman (sick from a mf bacterial infection that women mostly get) and she must depend on men to save her. but the end of her dream concludes that it’s not a matter of who saves who. some people just can’t be saved. yn doesn’t have a knight in shining armor. even before she got sick, she is a strong, independent woman. jungkook offers her emotional support, but he never outwardly saves her from any disasters. in fact, in part 1, yn is the on who saves jk. maybe, in yn’s subconscious, she wants to be saved. who doesn’t? it’s not a female v. male thing. being saved just means doing less work (and who doesn’t want that?). the savior, on the other hand, must go through the trauma and carry the responsibility of another’s life. maybe that’s why yn had her dream! another, more obvious reason yn’s dream turned out that way may be because that’s her worst fear—watching everyone she cared about die in front of her eyes (but also being too helpless to be able to stop it). she’s also afraid of dying alone, which she did in her dream. you’re absolutely right though! the second part of ignis fatuus is supposed to make you feel exasperated—frustrated and pissed, even. it’s just supposed to be nonsense, honestly. just stupid shit happening in rapid succession. it’s literally a fever dream. and also a dream carefully crafted by yn’s subconscious

a lot of the ‘deeper’ meaning is very subjective, though! and even as the writer, my analysis is still subjective. you can honestly analyze ignis fatuus in so many other ways. no analysis is wrong. and it’s also perfectly fine to have no analysis at all! 

the second ending (with yn actually dying) is easier to explain. it’s a direct contrast from yn’s dream where everyone was trying to be the hero. reality is different. even at the end of part 1, joon and jk knew that they wouldn’t be able to take yn to the hospital. yoongi even knew yn would die. they wouldn’t even think of such an outrageous idea to go to the hospital at all. they may have hinted taking yn to the hospital only to make her feel better, to make her feel safe. but they would’ve never actually done it. the plan was always to let her die in the house (as sad as it sounds). but there was really nothing left to do! as you said, none of them (even joon and tae) is qualified to treat tss (nor do they have the medical equipment to do so). the second ending is more of the closure that the first ending didn’t provide. yn wished to die in jk’s arms in the first ending and she got what she wanted in the second ending. but i still didn’t exactly think ending the story with yn’s death (tWICE) would be the best. something didn’t feel right. so i felt like i had to add the third ending for better closure

and you’re totally right! i connected the third ending to what jk and yn had talked about in target. this is essentially a glimpse of their dreams come true. something that didn’t necessarily happen, but something that the readers can imagine and feel at peace with. i thought it was good to wrap up such a traumatic part 2 with something lighter, something sillier and something happier. ignis fatuus is a mf roller coaster. and the title itself ‘ignis fatuus’ literally means something deceptive/deluding. i think part 2 encompassed that well

as for the purpose of this story? to answer the question you may be having, “if yn died after this whole ass journey,,, what was the mf POINT?” maybe there isn’t a point. maybe there is no rhyme or reason. maybe i just told a story as it is. kind of like a reference to waiting for godot but on the less indifferent side. BUT! i would honestly argue that there IS a point! i think the relationship yn made with the seven very distinct men is special. the seven of them are depictions of very stereotypical men. a nerdy med school student, a grumpy bus driver, an impatient businessman, a spoiled daddy’s money lawyer, a scaredy-cat cop, an obsessive chef and a too-perfect-to-be-true baseball player. i think part 1 is interesting to see how the eight of them have created this synergy together. it’s also interesting to see in part 2 how yn twists the men’s stereotypes to fit in the fever dream narrative

ignis fatuus is one of my more depressing stories. i had the idea since january of 2019 so i spent quite a bit of time thinking about it before i decided to write it. i didn’t think i’d end on a lighter note, but i’m happy it turned out that way. 

aNYWAYS sorry this turned out so long 😭😭😭i guess i rambled too much again oOPS. but i swear you’ll get a break from all this depressing writing LOL. i’m not posting another official story until january 15th! (and GOOD NEWS that story is going to be FLUFF!) 

as usual thank you sm for such a kind message 🥺🥺

[dukereviewsxtra]

Duke Reviews Xtra: Lady And The Tramp (Remake)

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Xtra Where We Continue Our Look At Disney...

Yesterday, I Reviewed The Sequel To Lady And The Tramp, Lady And The Tramp 2: Scamp's Adventure, So, Today We're Talking About The Remake...

One Of The First Original Movies On Disney +, This Film Remakes The Classic Animated Film In Live Action Form, But Is It As Good As The Animated Version?

Let's Find Out As We Watch The Remake Of Lady And The Tramp...

The Film Starts Like The Animated One On Christmas As Jim Dear (Played By Thomas Mann) Gives His Wife Darling (Played By Kiersey Clemons)...

Who I Mainly Know Through Rumors Of Her Playing Iris West In A Possible Flash Movie But With Ezra Miller Rumored To Be Exiting The Role I Don't Know If That Movie Will Come To Pass Despite It Supposedly Following The Flashpoint Storyline...

Anyway, Like The Animated One, Jim Dear Gives Darling Lady For Christmas And After A Rough First Night, Lady Ends Up Sleeping In Their Bed...

Fast Forward A Few Years, Lady Is Now Grown Up (And Is Voiced By Valkyrie From Thor Ragnarok) Given A Shiny New Collar, She Shows It To Her Friends, Jock

Who Has Undergone A Bit Of A Gender Change And Is Now A Girl...

And Trusty (Voiced By Sam Freaking Elliot)

And By God, This Is The Best Casting Choice Made In This Entire Movie!

I Mean If I Were Casting This Film, I Would Have Made The Same Decision As There's No One Else In My Opinion That Could Voice Trusty Than Sam Elliott...

Meanwhile A Schnauzer Named Tramp (Voiced By Justin Theroux) Spends His Days Wandering The Streets Of New Orleans Searching For Food And Causing Trouble For A Dogcatcher Named Elliot (Played By Adrian Martinez) Who Has A Vendetta Against Him To The Point He's Basically The Bad Guy Of The Whole Movie....

I Know There Are People Who Still Believe Aunt Sarah's Still The Bad Guy Of This Movie, But There's A Change In The Remake Unlike The Animated One Which Makes Me Feel Differently And Instead Consider Her Not Much Of A Bad Guy But A Mild Annoyance...

Freeing His Friends, Peg (Played By Janelle Monae) And Bull (Voiced By Wong From Doctor Strange) From Elliot's Carriage, He Makes A Run For It And Eventually Ends Up In The Dear's Backyard...

Beside Herself When Jim Dear And Darling Start Ignoring Her, Lady Finds Tramp And Attempts To Give Away His Position To Jim Dear But When Tramp Says That Darling Is Clearly Having A Baby, To Which Like The Animated One, He Warns Her That Eventually The Baby Will Replace Her...

But Refusing To Believe Him, Trusty And Jock Enter And Send Him Away, Which Is When Tramp Warns Her Again, When A Baby Moves In, The Dog Moves Out...

A Few Months Later, Jim Dear And Darling Have A Baby Girl Named Lulu Who They Soon Devote Their Lives To, This Leads To The La La Lu Scene From The Movie..,

And While Kiersey Clemons Is No Peggy Lee, She Has A Great Singing Voice...

But When Lady Starts Barking Over A Rat That's Been Plaguing The House Lately, Jim Dear Puts Lady Outside Afraid That She'll Wake Up The Baby...

Now When I First Saw This Scene I Didn't Really Like It, Because Doing This Emphasizes What Tramp Told Her Of When The Baby Moves In, The Dog Moves Out, Where In The Animated One, They Introduced Her To Lady Like She Was A Member Of The Family...

But Later I Realized That Without This Scene, We Wouldn't Have Gotten One Good Scene Later, So I Let It Go...

Taking Lulu To See Jim's Sister, They Leave Lady With Darling's Aunt Sarah (Played By Yvette Nicole Brown)...

This Leads To The Worst Scene In The Entire Movie...

While Aunt Sarah Is Upstairs Practicing Her Opera, Her 2 Devon Rexes Named Devon And Rex Begin Destroying The House While They Sing A New Song That Replaces The Siamese Cat Song Called What A Shame...

What...The...Hell...

This Song Is Not Good At All, I'm Sorry I Realize Alot Of People Hate The Siamese Cat Song But Unlike The Remake Of Dumbo Where Not Having When I See An Elephant Fly Was For The Better Of The Story This Song Just Doesn't Do That For This Movie And Just Makes A Good Scene Dumb...

Believing Lady Caused The Disaster, Aunt Sarah Takes Lady To The Pet Store To Get A Muzzle Placed On Her. This Leads To Lady Running Away Only To Get Trapped In An Alley Where She's Threatened By A Street Dog Named Isaac (Voiced By Mr. Krabs)...

Luckily, Tramp Saves Her And Gets The Muzzle Off With The Help Of A Statue At The Park Instead Of A Beaver At The Zoo Before Taking The Scenic Route In An Effort To Avoid Elliot Since Lady Left Her Collar Behind...

Growing Close In Their Time Together, Lady Has Dinner With Tramp At Tony's Which Leads To The Bella Notte Scene With Tony (Played By F. Murray Abraham)...

Showing Lady A View Of The Town, Tramp Reveals To Her That He Once Had Owners That Abandoned Him When They Had A Baby Too...

Found By Elliot, They Go Into The Train Yard Where Tramp Sleeps Only For Tramp To Get Away While Lady Gets Caught...

Taken To The Pound, Lady Meets Peg, Bull And The Other Pound Dogs Who All Talk About Tramp, Which Leads To The He's A Tramp Number...

And I Can Say That This Is Better Than The Last Time Janelle Monae Sang A Kids Song...

(End At 1:31)

This Leads To The Best Scene Of The Entire Movie, As You Know In The Animated Version Aunt Sarah Picks Lady Up And Chains Her Outside...

Well, In The Remake It's Jim Dear And Darling That Pick Up Lady And In Turn Kick Aunt Sarah And Her Dumb Cats Out Of Their House Presumably Forever For Way She Treated Lady...

Everybody Say It With Me....#JusticeForLady...Bravo!

Seriously, I Don't Know Why They Didn't Do This In Animated Version!

It's Then That Lady Bonds With Lulu...

Sometime Later, Tramp Becomes Depressed After Not Seeing Lady For A Long Time To The Point That He Decides To Go See Her Hoping That She'll Give Him A Second Chance...

Apologizing, Lady Appreciates It And Still Loves Him But She Doesn't Want To Leave Her Family After Reconciling With Them. Accepting Her Decision, Tramp Walks Away Heartbroken As A Storm Breaks Out...

But The Rat Returns, Sneaking Into Lulu's Room, Lady Tries To Warn Jim Dear And Darling But They Lock Her In A Closet When Elliot Arrives To Interview Them About Tramp...

Hearing Lady Bark, Tramp Goes Into The House And Kills The Rat Only To Injure His Leg In The Process While Knocking Over Lulu's Crib. Caught By Jim, Darling And Eliot Who Assume He Was Attacking Lulu, Elliot Takes Tramp Away To Be Euthanized Only For Lady To Show Jim And Darling The Rat...

This Leads Lady To Chase Down The Horses With The Help Of Jock And Trusty. Catching Up With The Carriage, They Scare The Horses, Causing The Carriage To Crash...

Finding Tramp Seemingly Dead, Lady Begins To Cry Only Tramp To Wake Up. Arriving On The Scene Of The Crash, The Dears Realize That Tramp Was Protecting Lulu And Decide To Adopt Him, Saving Tramp From The Wrath Of Elliot...

Next Christmas, Tramp Has Been Fully Accepted Into The Family And Is Given A Collar Of His Own As Both Lady And Tramp Spend The Holidays Together...

And That's The Remake Of Lady And The Tramp And It's Ok...

While Not The Best Of The Disney Live Action Remakes, I Do Feel It Has Some Qualities That Make It An Interesting Remake...

One Being That Scene With Aunt Sarah, 2. The Acting Is Pretty Good For The Most Part Despite Alot Of People Talking About The Historical Inaccuracies Of The Film And 3. The Fact That They Used Stray Dogs For The Lead Characters...

Other Than The Problems I've Mentioned With Jim Dear Sending Lady Outside While The Baby Is Sleeping And The Fact The Siamese Cat Song Was Replaced With The Blandest Song In History, I Have No Problem With This Movie...

This Is One I Suggest To See Just Skip The New Song, You'll Be Alot Happier If You Do,..

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[the-mira-life-project-mtf]

My MtF~H.R.T. Journey -- As Gender Nonconforming, People Still Love Me

Finding Acceptance Where I Though None Existed

     COMING OUT...IT ALWAYS OCCUR OVER AND OVER

     Back in 2018, I initially came out as gender-nonconforming as I did not want to fully convert as I was terrified of my family and being outcast by my friends. My transgender identity keep changing as I found myself adapting and becoming Mira. I was turning from gender-nonconforming and turning into gender-fluid.

     Even now, I am gender-fluid as I prefer to remain between genders. Male when it serves me and female when it comforts me. Since the start of 2019, both of my genders have been active with a case of a-gender to protect my feelings. Unknown to me, I have lived my life as a-gender as I have no set of pronouns and typically refer to myself as ‘they’ or ‘we’. However, since March of 2019...I have converted once more into a trans-woman as I am now on the path to turn my appearance and identity, female.

     To this day, I still call myself gender-nonconforming and gender-fluid as I know I will always have a male and female side, however, my trans-woman side will take dominance.

     MY NEW FAMILY IS LETTING MIRA BLOOM

     Ever since I have came out to the Messinger’s, I have witnessed Mira bloom. Even though I am the same person, I ‘feel’ different now. I feel allowed to act out my emotions, show love and seek family. My whole Transgender nature depended on the Messinger’s accepting me as Mira and since they did, that is why I am writing this.

     I was visiting the Messinger’s as I was dropping off some of my stuff from my old home as Michelle was sharing her day. “I had to take Ryan to the doctor today, we thought he might have a nasal polyps, and as a mom, I was concern for him.” I released a concerned groan as I listened from the stairs, which I was sitting upon. “Luckily it wan’t that, his nose has a deviated septum. Anyhow, I told him about you moving in with us and joining our family, he thinks that is a good idea. Then I told him about your other issue and he was excited. He said that he wants to help you!”

     “Oh?” I ask as I know that I will need all the help.

     “He said, if anyone messes with you, he will protect you. He can’t wait to do your makeup and do your hair...I told him that you need to ask him.” Michelle says as I thought about having makeup and having my hair done...looking feminine.

     REACHING OUT TO ONE WHO ONCE HATED THE GAYS

     Barb:  Your dad and I would love to get together with you. We could meet at a restaurant, your grandmother's house...wherever. Whenever, just let us know what works for you. Scratch Crisco's and AJ's ears for me.

Mira:  I certainly have been needing to have a revisit, and look forward to setting up a time.      Might have to be awhile, I am in the process of moving and transitioning to a new family who has asked to take me in (countless times). They are wonderful people, very loving and have been there for me when my family would not (besides you and Dad, who have came more times then my mother, which really means much to me). I believe their willingness to adopt me as a member of the family is due to the fact that Mitch lost both of his daughters to CF and for two years prior, one of his daughters named Amanda, was the one who keep pushing me to be tested for CF. If it wasn’t for her diligence, I probably would not be here today. So I feel indebted to the family, and I believe it is a way he can properly grieve and hope to save me from the mistakes he made with his own girls. Ironically, I am much healthier with them as they keep me true to my regiment and help with clearing my airways.      They are also willing to let me live my life without hiding an embarrassing secret, which I am certain will nevertheless have me excommunicated from the family. I am not certain how you both will take the news, and if you wish to distance yourselves, I would not be offended and honor your wishes. Only four people know this, and you’ve both been quite like family to me, so I will share it with you, so you can decide if you still want to visit:      Since I was seven years old, I’ve struggled with identity. I have come to a conclusion that my gender dysphoria was caused from being raised in a female-styled family with no male influence, many links to me being female started when I was nine, steroids I was taking for my asthma starting my development on the incorrect path. Teen years were not easy, my actions certainly were not masculine as I avoided sports and sang soprano in my choirs until I was 18 years old, then lowered to alto. With my failing health, and depression from hiding this from my family, and hearing their opinions about transgender individuals with borderline on the violent side, I lived a double-life. About five years ago, when I could not work, my health was crashing, grandfather passed away and my relationship with Ruth failed, I accepted my nature and began converting my identity. I am enrolled in hormone replacement therapy and have plans to change my name and identity once I am fully adopted into the new family.      I don’t press my views on other people (as that personally annoys me); and so I will not be ashamed or upset if you still wish to refer to me as David. However, my identity will be shifted to Mira Carlene Messinger probably by the summer.      It has taken me much will to write this, and again, I understand this is much to accept...it took me a year just to accept it myself. So I expect, and understand that many old relationships will be destroyed by this.      Please let me know your thoughts.      I will certainly pass on your love to Cisco and AJ...they love the attention!

Steve: Your my son and I love you, that will never change! Barb's cares about you. Search your heart; seek Jesus . Remember, your my son. I will not turn my back on you!! We love you. Dad.

Barb: David your dad and I love you, We love you as David and will love you as Mira. We still want to be part of your life and we still want to see you.

 Mira: That is so comforting to hear! I can’t express how happy it makes me, that both of you are so willing to except me for who I am!  I still like to meet-up, catch-up on how you’ve been doing. Hopefully sometime in May would be great! With all my love!

     I was shocked to see that Barb and my biological father were so accepting of my transgender nature. When I sent the message, I watched the message gain a thumbs-down, then a angry face and finally a thumbs-up. This was probably because the revelation was shocking for Barb and Steve that she did not know how to respond. (amended 9-26-2019 — misleading information in article has been corrected after learning family past)

     REKINDLING A LOST LOVE

     Back in 2016, Ruth (Bisexual) and I got into a fight while traveling the Oregon Coastline. We had dated for over eight years and after that August disruption, we called it an end. It wasn’t until 2018 when I reached out to Ruth to talk about my transgender revelation; but did not tell her I was taking hormones and wishing to become female. Today, I sent a message to her to see what she thought.

     I have started coming out to a selected few as I don’t want these people to feel bad when I come out officially in May. It is easier to privately speak to these people...preparing them for my transformation:

Mira:  Thank you so much for reaching out...it means a great deal to me! I just want to drop a few lines to bring you up to date about what is going on. Much is about to change in my life and a few are on board to see me through, and I want to inform you too before I decide to go public about my choices.      So, after long deliberation, I have decided to move from my grandparents place and to Mason county. This move is due to the nature of my health, knowing they will not be there for me, and placing myself in the hands of someone who has experience with treating end-stage cystic fibrosis. They have asked for me to come live with them, and willing to adopt me into their family permanently. For about a year I said no, but have decided that living there is best for my physical and mental health.      The second change that is coming soon is to align myself with my identity. I have been in deep consideration and reflection and last year, I decided to act upon my gender-fluid issue by taking hormones to correct my physical form. As you know, I closely identify as female over male, and my discomfort in my body made me isolated and unwilling to be affectionate. Sorry for the ordeal this has put upon you, since taking hormones...I’ve noticed that it is so much easier to be comfortable with myself and have became deeply empathetic. It is wonderful!      If this makes you uncomfortable, I apologize and totally understand your feelings and respect any decisions you make. I     f you are willing to continue our relationship, I would like to start over! I know the past two years had some strain and I hope my choices will help us become closer. This experience has been hard upon me as I fear losing people I love, but I think it is time. I have came out to my new family to see what they think and they fully support my decisions and will help me convert over time. By summertime, I hope to leave my old life behind and become Mira Carlene Messinger.      Let me know your thoughts.      I’d like to set up a time for us to see a movie, there is a sad one about cystic fibrosis in the theaters right now. I’ve read the book, it was well written and hauntingly accurate. We could wait and see Avengers Endgame. Maybe this summer we can take a few day trips until we feel comfortable to take longer ones. Love you!

Ruth:  Hi Mira, I must say I am in awe of your courage in embracing who you are. I must also say you were right about me in noticing the characters I identify with are primarily male, and I have suspected for awhile that am either bi-gender or identify as male.

     For the time being, I'm staying physically female, but I am absolutely willing to both continue our relationship and start over.

     Once you admitted to me that you are female, it was like the whole universe aligned and everything just made sense. I would love to see a movie with you, and have been wanting to see both the CF one and the Avengers one.

     I'm dog sitting at the moment and am enjoying the time to be the alpha male I am inside. BTW, if I had been born a man, my name would be Timothy. As things stand now, I identify as both Ruth and Timothy, although only you, my sister, and my shrinks know that.

     I love you, Mira, and am excited to date my new girlfriend. Much love,      Ruth/Timothy

Mira: Much love too Ruth/Timothy...I love that name, very pretty. Be curious to hear about it!

     Sorry my last message was rushed, was talking with my soon-to-be family; been busy planning my room and needs...it is all rather exciting!  Just wanted to acknowledge your wonderful comment.      I certainly love you, either as Ruth, Timothy or both! And I wish to express my sincere gratitude that you shared this with me.      I always was pleased that you played the masculine role in our relationship...and it comforts me to start anew as your girlfriend.      It will take some time to conform, but from what my mom and dad say, looks like I am conforming quite well...even my moms 13 year old daughter is going to help me adjust...and I can always use advice along the way.      I can’t express how excited for our first date! As Mira, my world has open...it is amazing and I can’t wait to legally take the name!      Have fun dog sitting my young Alpha and I look forward to even possibly sharing our first kiss.      Let me know when you are free sweetheart!      Mira

Ruth: I will be done dog sitting on Monday. On Tuesday I work at L'Arche, but I am free all other days. As for my male name, the story behind it is quite simple. Either ultrasonic imaging hadn't been invented yet, or my parents chose not to know my gender right off the bat. My parents each chose a name for me. Dad chose Ruth Ann if I was a girl, and Mom chose Timothy John if I was a boy. I feel like both

Mira: Oh...that is so awesome! That is so wonderful that you have both of your given names! You are blessed to have such a loving mom and dad! They are great people! My schedule is pretty free, will be gone the weekend to clam dig and then gone the third weekend. I have my facenra injection on the 19th, digging clams 20-24th at Ocean Shores and see my transgender physician on the 26th for the first time. Anytime next week be wonderful!

[namjoonchronicles]

happy new year beautiful, i'm here to spread some love!!! in celebration of 2019 tag your 19 favorite blogs/mutuals 🎉

you did not just tell me to tag people I love, i have like a lot. Happy new year my sweets, may you be blessed with good health, enormous wealth, graduate, get a job, give yourself a gift (me), sleep better, eat better (pls i cannot stress on this enough!), get you a spa day by yourself, and just treat yourself… start the year with a de-stress, we have 364 days to go… 

here’s my favourite people who run such magnificent blogs and people I have to talk to, on regular basis like taking my non-existent anti-depression pills:

@namjoonslion​ you knew you’re gonna get tagged, abby don’t even try to deny, and I probably never tell you how much you meant to me a lot, but I really do appreciate you, I love the spirits you have and our overall nothing-can-go-wrong VS but-it-might contra is something I hold dearly and I’m not sure why it worked out this long. We’re like Sadness & Joy pair in Disney Pixar’s Inside Out. And that’s just so cute now that I think of it. You walked into my life one day, and it’s like the sun came out. I feel like you’d give the best hug because you’re tol and I’m smol@magical-warlock​ my pisces, demi darling whom I love and rarely talk to nowadays, you always know how to cheer me up with some random ass text post of cute sayings and marvel things and I’m just wanting to catapult myself to Holland every time you send me a picture of your town. It’s honestly the best town that fits me. I would walk days with you and talk and hold hands, sigh. We shared a lot of stories together, and I feel like we’re both undergoing something very tough, I always know you have my back and you’ll have mine. Being associated to you is the best things that happened in my years in Tumblr and I truly mean it when I say I care about you.

@minseoltanggi​ baby fish! bat, you are by far the closest one to me of all my tumblr friends because we live in the same country and you’ve seen my face before. You are adorable af and I hope you don’t be scared of turning 15 soon, it’s an experience, you have to embrace it as you go and don’t worry too much. You are a smart little girl and have many potentials, so don’t let your fears shackle you down to earth because I want to see you be that Astronomy expert you wanted to become! And if you changed your mind mid-way that’s fine, too. I’m sorry that I can’t get on tumblr as often as I’d like and message you. I do hope your blankets are warm and your pillows are soft, every night. 

@luciddrugs​ same age dudette, Alexa! I know we’ve not been acquainted until the last few months of 2018 and dare I say, you’re by far the most passionate blossoming ARMY I have ever met. You desire to know and understand Hoseok is beyond me, like wow, you helped me see another side of Hoseok and that’s something not many people could have done, and I sort of understand when you spazzed about him not getting a lot of attention, because TRUE DAT. I mean look at my man Namjoon, these two gets push back along with Jin sometimes and it saddens me. having another hyungline stan is ultimately a blessing, like, thank you for SCREAMING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HOBI BECAUSE GURL YASSSSSSS… /two idiots screaming in the middles of the sea–flashbacks lmao)

@fangirlaholicxx​ Divvie. My other gun. My right-hand women. If yall read my writings i can’t say crappy anymore because that would be an insult to Div’s work  its her you should thank, my writings starting from Catching Fire, was proof read by her. And if I don’t get Div squealing, don’t bet I’ll release any of the fics. She’s my fuel, my gasoline, she keeps me going, and is my personal cheerleader. She makes great moodboards and it’s a matter of time until she ripens to her full form and bless us with her endless creative tendencies, just watch. I love her…so much. I don’t think she knows that. Thanks for catching me when I fall. /seals love letter with a heart wax/

@submissive-bangtan​ caro, caro, CARO! I love your brain and the intricate words you use. You know a whole world I didn’t know about and it’s because of you I’ve learned new things. You’re always so generous with your knowledge and following you was the best thing I’ve ever done? Like I came as a sub bts enthusiast (a dying clan) and pledge loyalty, but you gave me a Pandora box of tricks and passion. I think you’re super cool and I’m always so shy to make first move, so when you answered my tags, it makes my heart bloom? Can someone have that much power? Germans, I tell you…sigh.

@yourladyhobi18​ Luisa 💞🌹 we never actually spoke but endlessly tagging each other on posts of our knights and saviours, sometimes without context and we do it like it’s the most natural thing in the world and honestly I desired this kind of connection for the longest time, and I never knew I needed it until you came. I guess this is how two shy people become friends lmao.

@majestikblue​ you are a very mysterious one. You come unexpected and return when you desired. You always sends the nicest text out of nowhere and I’m always smiling when I see your texts?? Like how do you always know me going through tough times, did you put a camera on me?? Should I be staring at the corners so you could see me kiss you or what? I don’t even catch your name, and I don’t think I’ve ever asked…what kind of friendship is this, Anissa? I just want to say I appreciate you and your existence, please don’t ever change.

@lovethyfandoms2​ how could I forget you and Digby when you’re the first person to actually come and talk to me. I know you’re super busy at college now, and I wish you all the best. I hold the memories and conversations we had, close to my heart and will never forget them. Happy New Year, Josie. And it all began with a random ass link you accidently sent me haha, I remembered that lmao, I was so confused. Do all friendship began this weird though, I wonder haha! Josie, survive made it out 2018! Woo woo!

Nothing less important, in fact! Very important people that I cannot possibly forget ever, is my lovelies, whom I dearly appreciate and desire to protect forever and always, may this year bring you more positive hopes and help you dream, gives you something to smile for, and I have nothing else to offer but my stories and the comfort they bring, but should you feel the need to talk to me, come any time…

@rapmooni @tinyjjks @kai-tashi @monosgf @babybee05 @leesuzy09 @seokjins-epiphany @hobi-isadaydream @zynnami @verracotta @joonraw @seoulso @bloodyspell​ @8xxakiraxx8​ @therealredraven​ @ursulabtslover​ @triviamang​ 

I plan to make a separate post for this, and have more affectionate things to say, but if you’re not mentioned here, please don’t feel upset… I know most of you hide behind the comfort of an anon, and that’s okay. But If you’re reading this and felt like you are invincible? You’re not, I see you, I recognise you. And I appreciate every each and every one of you. I keep you in my thoughts when I see you reblog my writings and say nice things in the tags, and when you like my drunk depressive posts. I know you guys are wonderful people with good hearts. You’re the REAL reason why I began, continue and desire to write, I hope I’ll be able to do more in the future. I have so many more people to thank, and I’d personally shake each of your hands and give you a hug if I could and know your face. 

Thank you for seeing me, thank you for noticing me, thank you for listening to my stories. Thank you for a wholesome end of 2018 and here’s to a beautiful start in 2019. 🥂 (i’m buying sodas and pizzas for us all) happy fucking new year babes