#i'm still working on masterposts but. h

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

Louis' rocky path to his first album

..and how it might have been the reason/one of the reasons why Louis shared Always You with us the way that he did.

I don't want to saddle this amazing post about the Always You snippet and little scavenger hunt Louis took us on on Aug 24, 2017 with a too-long derail, so i'm gonna make this separate post. But please definitely read that post, too, it's so good! It'll make you shake your fist and go "LOUIS!!" (affectionately) 💙💚

-

This is for possible context re: him saying he was "pissed off about industry shit" and it resulting in him sharing the snippet in August 2017 and what long breath Louis had to have in order to finally get to release his debut solo album. Disclaimer: obviously there was much more going on in Louis' life during those 3 years - lots of yucky stunting that left Louis looking dead behind the eyes (esp. because on top of it he was also still grieving heavily), Harry releasing his first album, starring in his first Hollywood film, and going on worldwide tours. Louis obviously not being able to accompany him publicly to premieres or to all the shows - in combination it likely resulting in a lot more physical separation than they were ever used to, possible rough patches between them as a couple, Louis' sister unexpectedly passing away and the subsequent massive grief after already having lost his beloved Mum just 2.5 years prior, weekly appearances on TV with the giant asshole who iron-closeted him and his spider mouse ever since they were teenagers, a few public slip ups/outings from within their work circles, Harry turning into a horse on live radio despite being able to yell NO when he wanted to, Louis beaming with pride every single time he was asked about his Harry - and much more. His/their life is complex and busy and I'm only shining light on a couple of things here.

We know Louis had wanted to finally record his album in 2017 and release it in 2018. He said it again and again in his tweets and I personally don't think he was lying or stalling. (additionally, a plan for a 2018 album release + tour for 'a managed artist' was mentioned in a strategic report of the 1D company One Mode Productions Ltd., but by that point it was directed purely by 3 big players from Modest! Mgmt and that plan could've been BS from the start and could have still been an old remnant of the original plans Modest had for 1D after their hiatus; it never happened and the company was acquired by Universal Music in July 2020. Exact detail about that will be/are in my H&L companies masterpost)

In June 2017 Louis had been finally supposed to be signed with a new label under Sony, RSA...

(tweet)

...but then an exec from Epic Records campaigned to get Louis to them instead, because she had loved Just Hold On, so he signed with Epic in July 2017.

(tweet)

It needs to be said that the reason for Epic wanting to sign Louis based on that collab with Steve Aoki potentially meant they were hoping he was going to make more of that kind of music. -- which he never did, so he possibly also never wanted to in the first place (quite the recipe for disaster). And Louis was lagging behind to the public eye; he was the only member of 1D who hadn't released more than 1 single since the start of the hiatus. Zayn and Harry had already released an album by that point, Liam had had 2 pretty successful singles, and Niall had his first album set to be released in October that year. Louis being at a disadvantage wasn't his fault or within his control at all, though, with having lost his Mum 8 months prior. Syco and Sony faffing about with the record deals for him is certainly not something a grieving (and closeted & stunt-riddled) first-time solo musician needs when they just want to focus on finally releasing their first album and wanting to focus on that. During that time, it's especially essential to have a record label on board which understands and shares the same vision of the album, so concepts can be discussed, demos sent and given feedback on, timelines for PR and marketing coordinated, release dates planned, etc.

Within the same month, on July 21, 2017, Louis did release Back To You on via his own label, 78 Productions. (78 Productions Ltd. is also one of his companies) and Epic Records. Syco helped with promo in the UK. Back To You wasn't a first single of the album, though! Like with Just Hold On, Back To You's genre was vastly different from the albums Louis would later come to release, so it leads me to believe it was a fun filler project for him to work on with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals and vice versa, and to finally put out some music that year and also do a few live performances.

A month later, he tweeted this:

(tweet)

4 days later, Louis gets pissed off "about some music industry shit" and a day later, he tweets:

(tweet) - and this is when he drops the snippet of Always You right at the part with the "I went to Amsterdam without you, all I could do was think about you". part and he keeps dropping hint after hint and we figure it out 💙💚 - and ends up putting that song on his debut album.

(1 month later, Harry leaves to start his first ever solo world tour in San Francisco, USA on Sep 25, 2017)

Months pass and still no album single incoming.

On Oct 11, 2017, Louis announces his next single will be postponed, but also drops Just Like You out of the blue:

(tweet) / (tweet) - although Louis says the song is "from the album", Just Like You never ends up on his first 2 albums.

Months pass again.. the single he said would come "later this year" turns out to be Miss You, released on Dec 1, 2017. The song doesn't end up on the regular album, only appears as a bonus track on the Japanese Edition.

(On Dec 8, 2017, Harry finishes his world tour in Tokyo, Japan)

The year turns into 2018... and Louis seems to become increasingly more frustrated:

(tweet)

3 more months pass..

(Harry leaves to start his 2nd solo world tour in Basel, Switzerland on March 11, 2018)

Another month passes..

(tweet)

3 months later, and as a first step into a hopefully better direction, on July 19, 2018, it is announced that Louis has switched management and is now with Matt Vines from 7 Seven Management.

In July 2018 it's announced that Louis will appear on X-Factor as a judge that year.

(Coincidentally, Harry finishes his world tour on July 22, 2018 in New York City, USA)

Louis' X-Factor filming takes place (with breaks in between) from July 28 until Dec 2, 2018. (together with Simon Cowbell, so that must have been quite unpleasant at times, but Louis' contestant won! HA!)

Most importantly: no music at all gets released for Louis in all 2018!

(Harry leaves to start a very short tour in Singapore on Nov 23, 2018 and already finishes on Dec 7, 2018 in Tokyo, Japan)

The year turns into 2019...

And then fucking finally, in Feb 2019, it is announced that Louis has signed with Arista, who also belong to Sony. Louis can finally really start working on the album now!

On March 7, 2019, he releases Two Of Us - the first proper single of the upcoming album and a beautiful song he wrote for his Mum. But the joy doesn't last long -- sadly only 1 week later, on March 13, 2019, Louis' sister Félicité unexpectedly passes away and this completely throws life off its hinges again :( 🖤

(Harry plays only 2 shows on March 28 + 29, 2019 in New York City, USA, because he inducts beloved Stevie Nicks into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame - but he doesn't tour again until October; is also in the process of finishing the recording of his 2nd album, Fine Line)

4 months later, Louis tweets this:

(tweet)

Things finally go according to (an obviously existing) plan now and it's clear that there's a proper release schedule at work. The single and music video releases are firing on all cylinders. Starting from September, there's basically a new Louis release every month. There's concepts for all music videos, as they all tell a multiple-part continuous story. Kill My Mind is released on Sep 5, 2019 We Made It follows up on Oct 24, 2019 Don't Let It Break Your Heart on Nov 23, 2019 then there's the usual Christmas break (X-mas is mostly for album releases, case in point: Harry's Fine Line's released on Dec 13, 2019) Walls, the album title single, is released on Jan 17, 2020 -- 2 weeks before the album release.

When asked what's his favorite song on the album, he replies with this:

(tweet) And on Jan 31, 2020 Louis' finally gets to release his debut solo album Walls! 🙌🏼

3 years in the active making and a frustrating 2 years later than he'd hoped for.

Because within just 3 years, Simon tried/succeeded to sign Louis to three different Sony-owned record labels! Possibly also because Louis made it clear he was not going to release his album with Syco alone, but that's just speculation on me part. (I also need to mention that Simon had already sold 50% of his shares in Syco Music to Sony in July 2015, leaving him with only 20% and he never re-acquired them, meaning since 2015 Simon was already 75% out of the door back then. Guess what he already knew would happen since the beginning of 2015, hmmmm?)

Personal thoughts: To me, that’s all absolutely wild behaviour to treat an artist like that. Someone who's made you such a fuckton of money already, too. (because let's be honest, the money's all people like Simon Cowbell and his Modest! minions care about) Simon's never had an ounce of integrity or loyalty in his body. To treat an artist, who to the public he claimed he was 'so close' to like this and to then see him struggle and still try to manipulate or bribe him into your own plans (the girlband, the management company, the DOA Triple Strings label) instead of finally letting him pursue what he so clearly wanted.. it's classic and disgusting. From my own professional experience of 15 years as an artist & tour manager, it is not surprising to me that Louis wasn’t able to establish any consistency within his career for the first 4 years. (And we probably only know half of the contractual shit Louis has had to deal with.) You'd usually need at least good management that you trust, that's ready to take the brunt of forces, but also makes sure you don't make certain mistakes (again), and that's ready to work with & for you in this. Record labels come second, especially since it's become easier nowadays to release shit indie and it's not like Louis' (and Harry's) household didn't have some funds-- but yeah, proper management is key! They're the junction where everything leads together. I have no idea what the James Grant Group thought they were doing with Louis, but it was complete weak sauce.

And although I'm also not a fan of Matt Vines and 7 Seven Management, they're definitely some kind of improvement. I understand Louis in preferring to work with people he's become close with and who he's already trusting, rather than taking the risk and choosing someone new - especially given Louis' very awful prior experiences with management. I hope Matt Vines steps up his game in the future, but from what I have learned in the past months, sadly I don't think 7 Seven Management have a good grasp on Louis' target group and fanbase and I'm not sure how much use they're making of proper market research. For an artist of Louis' caliber, they're doing too little.

Anyway, back to Syco, I think nobody is surprised that Louis had enough of it 1.5 years after Walls was released and finally ended things with Syco on July 11, 2020.

Now I want to end on saying that i'm only speculating something about his own record label / album delaying situation could've been the reason for him being pissed off. It also could've been something to do with the music industry in itself, something to do with Harry and him, something closeting- or stunt-related. I mean he did release a snippet of a song that's obviously about Harry and him. But he also released a snippet of a song that was supposed to be on his album. So yeah, the reason could've been a mix of both.

But even though we can't say that for sure, it was valid as hell that he was pissed. And he got to share the Always You snippet with us for it, such an incredibly special song; so clearly about Harry & him and he didn't give a fuck that night. And I think that's beautiful.

[veephoenix]

zutto — chapter eight | wc: 5.7k | series masterpost | prev. chapter

Chapter summary: Lia and Noah go to couples therapy. Noah and Lia spend a cozy evening in her studio. Reading time: 22mins. aprox.

Tags and trigger warnings: therapy, talks of mental health, ptsd, anxiety, insecurities, self-doubt, mentions of parents' neglect, abandonment, mentions of medication and lia's overdose, mentions of lia's abusive relationship with mitch, mentions of alcohol intake, talks of sex, implied sexual scenarios that include oral sex (female receiving) and protected sex. The rest is pure fluff, noah and lia being totally madly in love with each other and being supportive of each other's works. There's blindfolding going on in this chapter but it's not in a sexual scenario. If I'm missing sth, let me know. The therapy scene took me ages to write.

General trigger warnings: this work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction, abuse, & violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised. +18

“Have you found any hobby; any activity that helps soothe your anxiety?”

Lia processed Dr. Reynolds question, thinking back over the past few days: rejoining her long-missed yoga classes, meeting Emery for coffee on Thursday, catching up with the BO crew to discuss tour logistics and merch-related stuff, drawing, packing for Japan…

After a brief pause, Lia replied, 

“Sex.”

As soon as the word left her lips, her face flushed. Sitting next to her in the other armchair, Noah remained still, his eyes wide in surprise at her response, though he didn't look directly at her. His cheeks were tinged pink as well.

Dr. Reynolds immediately noticed their reactions, especially the way Noah quickly avoided eye contact.

“Okay, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed,” she reassured them, raising her hands slightly from her desk, which separated her from the young couple. “Sex is something totally normal and natural, and it’s great for our mental health and well-being.” She waited a few seconds until she saw Noah’s shoulders relax and Lia let out a sigh. “Tell me, Lia, how do you feel when you’re physically intimate with Noah?”

Lia raised an eyebrow while still curled up in the armchair.  

“Mentally, emotionally,” Dr. Reynolds clarified, a genuine soft smile on her lips.

“Umm,” Lia’s mind wandered to their first time—both drunk and needy for each other. She remembered it had felt good, but she didn’t want to dwell on that night, since it was followed by the worst weeks of her life. Instead, she thought about the last few days, about every time Noah had covered her with his body or laid her down on the sofa, his face sinking between her legs. She had never put into words how it felt, aside from when Noah asked if she liked what he was doing to her, or the previous night, when she’d been sitting on his lap, arms and legs wrapped around him, and he had asked if that posture felt good. She had breathlessly muttered in his ear that it did, “it feels so good, Noah.”

“It feels good,” she started. 

Better than that. But she didn’t feel comfortable enough to say to her therapist the same she’d told Emery two days ago when they’d met. “It feels like everything’s okay. I feel loved, and I feel safe.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded in understanding. Her dark brown eyes shifted to Noah, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“What about you, Noah?”

Noah cleared his throat.

“Uh, I—”

Fuck. Did he really have to talk about it to that woman? It was hard enough to put into words what he felt, let alone say it out loud to a stranger. Still, he wasn’t there just to sit comfortably in that chair, listening to Dr. Reynolds and Lia’s difficult answers. He was there to communicate. Lia had made the effort, and his heart had fluttered when he heard her say how loved and safe he made her feel. The least he could do was the same.  

He replayed images from the day before in his mind: her skin against his, the way she wrapped around him, how warm she felt, the look in her eyes when he flipped them both so he could be on top, thrusting deep inside her.

“It feels like….” He swallowed, avoiding direct eye contact with the therapist. “I’ve always felt that something was missing, and… After things got better between us, I… I felt complete.” He wasn’t talking only about sex. “I feel utterly happy when I’m with her, not just for myself but for her, too. I know I was… I know I am making her happy.” 

Well, that sounded cheesy as fuck, Noah.

Dr. Reynolds gave a gentle nod.

“I think it’s clear that you and Lia have a deep connection. Would you say it’s been like this since you first met?”

Grateful for the shift in topic, he answered quickly. 

“Absolutely,” he said, with certainty. He’d been fighting everyone from the very beginning to show the world that no one knew Lia like he did. Therefore, no one could take care of her the way he could. 

He expected Lia to echo his response, but her mind was somewhere else.  

“I feel so guilty,” she began, directing her words to Dr. Reynolds. “I’ve loved him since I was a kid. All those times I scared off his girlfriends, I was being selfish and a coward. Then, Mitch came and…” she sniffed but held back tears. “I’ve… carried this fear with me my whole life. A fear of never being enough, of not deserving love. I know I always had Noah, but even when I did, I was convinced that it was all some cruel joke, and that as soon as I finally had him, life would rip him away. I couldn’t bear that thought. So, I buried my feelings, blocked them out; I forced myself to believe it wasn’t real, that I wasn’t in love with him. I told myself for months that it was just infatuation, that he had bigger things to focus on and worry about. The band has always meant everything to him and…”

“That’s not—” Noah started, but Dr. Reynolds raised a gentle hand to quiet him. 

“I kept pushing him away, again and again. I know I hurt him. I know he loves me, but the guilt is suffocating. I’ve put him through so much.”

Dr. Reynolds listened intently, her eyes calm and steady, letting the silence linger after Lia’s words. It was a weighty silence, one that felt like a deep exhale after too many years of holding it all in. Lia’s hands trembled slightly in her lap.

 “That weight has always been there,” she continued through clenched teeth. “I’ve always sabotaged things before they could go wrong, merely because I was convinced they would go wrong.”

Noah shifted beside her. He wanted to reach out, to hold her hand, but the heaviness of the moment kept him still. He hated hearing her talk like that, as if she was the villain in their story. He opened his mouth to argue, to tell her she didn’t need to feel guilty, but something in Dr. Reynolds’ gaze made him hold back once again.

“Lia, what you’re describing is a fear many people experience when they’ve been hurt before or when they deeply value something. We’ve talked about this, remember? It’s called self-preservation. You and Noah have been friends since you were kids. You’ve been attached to him most of your life. He’s been your constant, so it makes sense you’d fear losing him. That fear made you protect yourself, even when there wasn’t a real threat.”

Lia swallowed, her eyes glassy as she fought back tears. 

“But I pushed him away. I hurt him when I should have trusted him.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded. 

“I understand. But what’s important now is recognizing that your feelings of guilt are part of that same fear. You’re punishing yourself for something that, at the time, you thought was the right thing to do. You didn’t want to lose him, and pushing him away was your way of safeguarding your heart.”

Noah’s jaw clenched. He had been so frustrated with Lia over the years, but sitting here now, listening to her talk about her fear of losing him… he realized he understood that fear all too well. 

He wished she could see what he had always known, that no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Lia turned to him, her voice breaking.

“I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

He leaned towards her, her shoulder almost brushing hers. 

“You were never a burden and you know that,” Noah said quietly. “I’ve always wanted you around. You make me happy. You always have.”

Dr. Reynolds leaned back in her chair, giving them a moment to let that sink in.  

“Lia,” she said after a short while”, I want you to delve deeper into that fear. Do you think it's why you've always stopped yourself from doing certain things? Like telling Noah you loved him?"

Lia hesitated, her breath catching as memories flashed through her mind.

“Yes,” she exhaled. “Everything has been because of fear. Deep down, I always knew I loved him, but I was terrified of what that meant. If I admitted to myself that I was in love with him, with my best friend, everything would change. And… if I let myself love him fully, the risk of losing him would become real. I couldn’t handle that.” She made a pause to take a deep breath. “I fough hard to convince myself it was just infatuation—that it wasn’t as deep as it felt; that I just wanted to be the center of his attention because he was so perfect. But I was lying. It was love. I knew it the whole time, and that scared me more than anything.”

Noah felt his heart tighten in his chest. She had been carrying that fear the whole time, while he had been waiting—always waiting—for her to believe he wasn’t going anywhere. 

He reached out, his hand resting gently on hers.

“You don’t have to be scared anymore,” he said.

“I know,” she whispered, her voice shaking. “But I’ve spent so many years convincing myself that loving you was dangerous—that as soon as I let myself have you, I’d lose you.”

Dr. Reynolds kept on jotting down notes on her notepad before speaking again. 

“Lia, that’s a common reaction when someone is deeply afraid of loss. You never had a paternal figure, you mother didn’t provide you with the care and attention you deserved. Then, the people closest to you—Noah’s grandparents— also moved away. You mentioned this not long ago, right? When Noah’s grandfather passed away, his grandmother decided to return to Japan, and you felt that as a loss, too, as a kind of abandonment.”

“I know it wasn’t,” Lia said, her posture stiffening, discomfort creeping in as if she didn’t like the truth of it. “But I couldn’t stop myself from feeling it that way. Then I only had Noah... and I guess my attachment to him grew even more.”

“Of course. It makes sense, Lia. You’ve loved Noah since you were merely a kid—first as a friend, then as something more—so much that you feared the very thing you wanted most: being with him. But now that you’ve faced that fear, it’s important to remember that love isn’t something you need to protect yourself from.”

Dr. Reynolds let the words settle between them before leaning in, her gaze moving between Noah and Lia.

“Noah, I think you’ve been carrying your own set of feelings for a long time, too. While Lia was dealing with her fears, you were facing a different struggle, trying to support her. Isn’t that right?”

Noah rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the familiar knot of tension there. He didn’t love talking about himself—he never did—but he knew today wasn’t the time to hold back.

“Yeah,” he admitted, “I’ve always felt like I had to prove myself, even with her. I’ve always been scared of not being enough for her. Like, maybe one day she’d realize I’m not this perfect guy she thinks I am. And, I guess that fear made me hold back sometimes, too.”

 “You both have been trying to protect each other in different ways—Lia by pushing you away, and Noah by trying to be perfect. But what’s clear is that the connection you two have, the love between you, has never really faltered. Even when you were afraid or apart, you didn’t let go.”

Lia wiped a tear from her cheek, processing the Dr.’s words. She turned to look at Noah, who was watching her with an intensity that made her heart ache. Without a word, she reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I never meant to make you feel like you had to prove yourself.”

Noah shook his head.

“You don’t have to apologize. We’re together now. We’ll figure this out—together.”

Dr. Reynolds leaned back, her gaze warm and understanding. 

“Both of you have been carrying fears and doubts for a long time, but you’re both ready to face them—together. Your connection, this love, is strong enough to handle the uncertainty. You’ve already proven that.”

Lia wiped at her eyes, nodding. The guilt hadn’t disappeared entirely, but it had loosened its grip. She wasn’t alone in this, and that was enough for now.

Dr. Reynolds shifted slightly in her chair, her expression softening as she turned her attention to Lia. 

“Lia, I want to acknowledge the progress you’ve made. You’ve been through an incredibly tough journey, not just emotionally but physically as well. The abuse you suffered in your previous relationship, the trauma from your childhood—growing up without a father and with a neglectful mother—those are heavy burdens. And on top of that, you’ve struggled with your relationship to medication.”

Lia glanced down, her fingers fidgeting in her lap. That was going to be a long day. She was sure the moment she got home, she would collapse into bed, terribly exhausted. The weight of everything she’d gone through still felt fresh at times, and talking about it was like watching it play on a TV, or worse—reviving it. 

“The meds did help at first,” she explained, “but then I got lost in them. I was dependent on them, and I started taking more than what I was prescribed.” Her voice quieted, as if confessing. Dr. Reynolds already knew, but she had told Lia a few times how important it was for her to verbalize it until it didn’t trigger her anymore. “I was using them to escape.”

 “That overdose was a wake-up call,” Dr. Reynolds said. Noah winced at the mention of it. “But what matters is that you’ve taken steps toward healing since then. You’ve made a brave choice in deciding to taper off the medication, and even though it’s not easy, it’s clear that you’re managing much better now, especially with the positive changes in your life.”

Lia’s gaze flickered to Noah, who gave her a reassuring smile. 

“It’s been hard,” she admitted, her voice soft but steady. “The withdrawal was terrible at first, and I didn’t think I could handle it. But things have been different… better since Noah and I started working things out. Being with him, in a healthy way, makes me feel like I don’t need the meds to be okay.”

Dr. Reynolds smiled warmly, her eyes filled with encouragement. 

“You’re taking control of your life, Lia. You’re moving away from dependency, both on the medication and on the emotional crutches you once used to cope with all the pain. And that’s an incredible achievement. You’re learning to rely on healthier mechanisms—your relationship with Noah, your art, and most importantly, yourself.”

Lia felt a lightness in her chest, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. The meds had numbed her for so long that she hadn’t trusted her own emotions or ability to cope without them. But now, without that fog, she was starting to feel everything—both the good and the bad—and it wasn’t as overwhelming as she’d feared. 

“I still have bad days, but… I don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore,” she said quietly. “Noah helps, but I think I’m helping myself, too.”

Dr. Reynolds nodded, pride evident in her expression. 

“That’s exactly what I want to hear. It’s not about never feeling anxious or sad again—it’s about learning to face those feelings without needing to numb them. You’ve proven to yourself that you can. And having a supportive partner like Noah is a huge help, but ultimately, the strength you’re finding is coming from within you.”

Noah’s hand tightened around hers. She wasn’t fixed, but for the first time in years, she didn’t feel broken either. She was healing—slowly, but surely.

Dr. Reynolds closed her notebook. 

“Keep going, Lia. You’re on the right path. You’ve come a long way, and it’s clear you’re capable of even more. The fact that you’re doing this—getting off the meds, facing your fears, building a healthier relationship with Noah—it’s all a testament to your resilience. You will get better.”

Lia nodded, a small, hopeful smile tugging at her lips. For the first time, she believed it.

As they stood to leave, Noah slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. 

Once out of the elevator and onto the street, Lia hurried toward the car, eager to get home. But before she could, Noah grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. He cupped her face in his hands, and without a word, leaned in and kissed her deeply, ignoring the people passing by and the noise of the street around them.

When he pulled back, Lia was breathless, her wide eyes gazing up at him, a spark of something new and beautiful shining in them.

“Whatever happened—whatever will happen—I don’t care. We’ll face it together. I’m not letting you go, Lia.”

She wanted to say, I’m not letting you go, either, but the words wouldn’t come. She was too awestruck by his closeness, overwhelmed by the love she felt for him and the weight of everything that had surfaced in therapy. So, instead, she just stared at him, her heart full.

Standing on her tiptoes, she grabbed two fistfuls of his hoodie and kissed him back, pouring everything she couldn’t say into the kiss. After a few moments, Noah pulled away, looking down at her with a soft intensity.

“Lia, am I clear?”

She nodded.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He gently tucked her hair behind her ears and leaned down for another kiss, this one soft, reassuring. When he finally pulled away, he took her hand in his.

“Let’s go home. That was exhausting.”

A week later 

Every couple of minutes, Lia would push a stray lock of hair behind her ear, only for it to fall back into place again. She was sat cross-legged on the floor, her sketchbook balanced on her knee. Her pencil moved in quick strokes, pausing every so often as she bit her lip in concentration, only to resume with a renewed burst of energy. 

The late afternoon sun filtered through the blinds, casting warm streaks of golden light across the studio floor that reached the other end of the room, where Noah was sitting at the desk, focused on the apps open on his laptop and on Lia’s iMac. 

He’d brought over two mugs of hot chocolate earlier, one of which still steamed next to her on the floor, while his sat neglected on the desk. They had spent most of the morning out of the house—Noah had gone to the gym and then had met the boys at the studio while Lia had gone to one of her yoga sessions, then had met Emery at a nearby Starbucks. In just three days, they would be flying to Japan for the Bad Omens tour, followed by a well-deserved two-week rest at Grandma’s house, in the outskirts of Tokyo. 

Noah’s mind had started to feel mushy in the last thirty minutes. Growing distracted, he stole a glance at Lia, watching her as she worked. Her focus, the way she’d push that same strand of hair away from her face, the way her brow furrowed... Eventually, feeling his mind grow too fuzzy, he stood up, muttering something about needing to wash his face.

When he returned to the studio, Lia was in the same position, still immersed in her sketching with her back towards the door. Without saying a word, Noah walked over and sat behind her, sliding his legs around her body as he leaned in close. Tempted, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss in her hair. Then another one further below. And another one right below her ear. Lia squirmed in his arms but kept her pencil moving.

“Noah,” she mumbled, her lips curling into a half-smile, half-protest.

He didn’t answer, trailing another slow kiss down to the nape of her neck. Her shoulders tensed, then relaxed, a small laugh escaping her. 

“Stop,” she said, though the warmth in her voice betrayed her, as well as the way she titlted her neck to give him more access. 

“You’re not really convincing me,” he teased, brushing her hair aside to kiss the curve of her neck.

Lia twisted in his arms, still trying to focus on her sketchbook, but the pencil faltered as she squirmed again. She laughed, turning her head slightly to glance at him. 

“You’re such a distraction.”

“Guilty as charged,” Noah grinned, wrapping an arm around her middle and pushing her flush against him. He was practically caging her with his body. 

Instead of reaching for his own mug of hot chocolate still sitting on the desk, he lazily grabbed hers, taking a sip.

“Hey! That’s mine,” she protested.

“Yours is closer,” he replied with a shrug, taking another sip before handing it back to her. “What are you working on?” he asked, glancing over at her sketchbook.

Lia flipped through some of the pages, her pencil resting between her fingers. 

“I’ve been sketching ideas for Grandma’s garden,” she said, her voice soft with affection. “You know how much she loves that garden. Last time we were there, I planted some peonies and lilies around the trees by the entrance, remember? I’m thinking of adding more this time.”

Noah leaned closer, peering over her shoulder as she traced her fingers along a delicate sketch of flowers winding around a tree.

“I’ve been imagining how it would look if I added some kiku or fuji seeds. Chrysanthemums and wisteria,” she explained, her eyes lighting up. “And I was thinking… maybe we could place some traditional statues around, or even build a tiny pond.”

Her voice trailed off as she flipped to another page—a rough outline of the garden, filled with plants she had already painted with soft strokes of watercolor. The colors in the drawing—deep pinks from the peonies, pale purples from the lilies—looked almost alive, like they were already blooming.

“Look,” she said, pointing to a part of the sketch where she’d blended purple hues for the wisteria draping from a branch. “I’ve been working on the colors, trying to match how they’d actually look in the garden when they bloom. I can see it in my head—how the sunlight would hit the flowers, the way the colors would change depending on the time of day.”

Noah’s expression softened as he gazed at the painted page. 

“She’s going to love that,” he said, setting his mug down. “And it sounds like a great excuse for us to check out those famous Japanese gardens you wanted to visit last time but didn’t get a chance to.”

Lia’s face lit up, her eyes sparkling as Noah added, “I could even sketch some ideas for the pond, maybe add some stones and other features if we get inspired by those places."

Lia hummed thoughtfully, inspecting her own designs.

“After the tour, we’ll have time to explore more traditional spots—temples, hidden gardens in smaller towns. We can start with the city’s chaos, then unwind in the gardens and parks. Once we’ve soaked in all that inspiration, we can start working on Grandma’s garden," Noah said.

A smile tugged at her lips as she leaned back against his broad chest, feeling the comfort of his warmth.

“I like that plan,” she admitted, smiling. “I’m excited for the shows, but I think I’m more excited about seeing Japan… with you.”

He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. 

“Me too,” he murmured. “And Grandma’s going to love whatever you do to her garden.”

They sat in a peaceful silence for a moment. The room was cozy, filled with the scent of hot chocolate, and Noah’s hand rested warmly on her stomach, his cheek brushing against hers tenderly.

Lia finally broke the silence with a mischievous smile. 

“I have an idea,” she said, untangling herself from his arms and standing up. Noah made a disappointed sound but didn’t question her, merely raising an eyebrow as he watched her disappear into the other room.

When she returned, she held something behind her back, clearly up to no good. Noah’s curiosity piqued.

“What are you planning to do with that?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice as she revealed a sleeping mask she’d likely grabbed from her half-packed suitcase.

“Blindfolded drawing challenge” she announced, playfully slapping his shoulder as she sat down in front of him.

Noah grinned, catching on quickly. 

“Hm. Not what I expected, but I’m intrigued. So, do I get to blindfold you?”

“Nah-uh,” she said, keeping the mask out of his reach with a smirk. “I’m blindfolding you. If you’re going to help me with Grandma’s garden, I need to check your drawing kills.”

“I’m an amazing artist, Lia, in case you didn’t know,” he said, puffing his chest in mock pride. 

“Let’s prove it then,” she challenged, eyes sparkling.

“I’m ready to show you the real artist in the room,” Noah replied, rolling his shoulders as if preparing for a competition. 

Lia scoffed. 

“Keep your ego in check, Sebastian.”

Lia grabbed her sketchbook and flipped to a blank page.

 “Okay, mister. This is your canvas,” she said, placing it in front of him.

Noah sat up straighter, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips as she stepped behind him, slipping the mask snugly over his eyes. Her hands brushed his neck, her fingers lingering for just a second longer than necessary. Noah’s grin widened.

“You’re not secretly trying to turn me on with this, are you?” he teased.

She leaned down, her breath warm against his ear as she whispered, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Noah laughed. 

“Alright, alright. Just hand me the weapon of choice.”

Lia placed the pencil in his hand and sat back on her heels, watching as he hovered over the notebook with exaggerated focus. 

“Alright, Picasso, time to show me what you’ve got.”

“Okay, here we go,” he declared, setting the tip of the pencil to paper. He started drawing—if you could call it that. His lines were uneven, jagged, the kind of shaky curves you’d expect from someone who had no idea what they were doing.

Lia bit her lip, trying to stifle her laughter as she watched the absolute chaos unfold on the page.

“Are you… drawing a person?” she asked, half-choking on her giggles.

“Obviously!” Noah said with mock indignation. “Can’t you see it? It’s abstract.”

“Sure, sure. Very abstract,” she teased, covering her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing too loudly.

He added a few more crooked lines, lifting the pencil occasionally to think before continuing. When he was finally done, he sat back triumphantly, pulling off the sleeping mask. 

“And… voilà! A masterpiece.”

Lia leaned over to inspect the mess of squiggly circles and jagged lines. It vaguely resembled a potato with stick arms and what might have been a smile—or a grimace. She couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst into laughter. 

Noah looked down at it and shook his head, feigning disappointment. 

“Okay, I’ll admit, it’s not exactly what I imagined.” He pointed to one of the misshapen blobs. “That was supposed to be an eye.”

Lia wiped a tear from her eye, still giggling. 

“Yeah, I think this guy’s been through something.”

Noah sighed dramatically. 

“I need your artistic genius to fix this. Save my poor little guy.”

Lia laughed again but nodded, taking the pencil from him. 

“Not from there,” he said, opening his legs and gesturing for her to come closer. “Come here.”

She nestled between his limbs, leaning back against his chest. Noah’s arms wrapped around her, his chin resting on her shoulder. The warmth of his embrace made her smile as she began to work, reshaping his scribbles into something recognizable. Her pencil moved, sharpening lines, smoothing out shapes, and adding playful details until Noah’s chaotic doodle turned into a quirky little character with a goofy grin and big, wide eyes.

Noah watched her, his grin softening as he admired the way her hands worked so effortlessly. The look of focus on her face, her gentle smile as she fixed his mess—it was moments like this that made him fall in love with her even more.

When she finished, she leaned back to admire their combined effort. 

“There. Now he’s got some charm.”

“You really are a miracle worker.”

Lia glanced up at him, her eyes sparkling with playful pride. 

“I know.”

He reached out and gently moved that stray lock of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His fingers lingered, brushing against her cheek as his gaze softened.

“You’re amazing,” he said quietly, his voice low and full of warmth.

Lia’s breath hitched just for a second, her heart skipping a beat at the way he was looking at her. 

“So are you,” she whispered, leaning in closer.

Their lips met in a soft kiss, the warmth of the room wrapping around them like a blanket. It was a simple, quiet moment—the kind that felt like the calm before everything changed. In just two days, they would be off to Japan, diving headfirst into the chaos of the tour. But right now, in the quiet of Lia’s studio, it was just the two of them, savoring the comfort and coziness of the evening. 

When they pulled apart, Lia’s fingertips grazed the skin of his jaw, feeling the rough stubble that had started to grow.

Noah’s voice broke the comfortable silence.  

“Have you thought about letting others see your work?” 

Lia frowned, her fingers halting, barely brushing his chin.  

“What do you mean?”

“I know you sell your stuff online through your site, but I’m talking about something bigger. Like an exhibition, or maybe an illustrated book? I could help with that. I could write the story—like I did for the Concrete Jungle comics—and you could do the drawings.”

Lia’s shoulders slumped as she considered it, her brow creasing in hesitation.

“I don’t know if I’m qualified for that, Noah.”

“Come on.” He shook his head, not buying her self-doubt. “Your work is amazing. Okay, maybe I’m biased, but have you seen how fast our merch sells—the merch that has your art on it? And every time you put something new up on your store, it’s gone in less than forty-eight hours.” 

When he noticed the hesitation still on her face, he extended an arm in the air, as if to grasp all the piled notebooks and sketchbooks she had stored on her bookshelves and drawers. 

“People need to see all of this, Lia.”

Lia’s brown eyes flickered across the room, her eyes landing on one of the bigger sketchbooks resting against a stack of Bad Omens vinyls.

“Some of them are really dark, Noah.”

“You don’t have to show the dark stuff if you don’t want to—even though darkness is part of life,” he conceded, shrugging his shoulders. “But everything else? Lia, you’re an incredible artist. The things you draw, the ideas you come up with… They’re fascinating, to say the least, and people love seeing fascinating things, whatever it is,” he poked her cheek to get her full attention. “And there’s already a bunch of people that love your art, starting with me and our friends.”

Lia stayed quiet for a moment, her brown eyes searching his, still uncertain but intrigued.

“I already have a lot of work with Bad Omens…” she started, though her tone was more reflective than dismissive.

“Is that an excuse? Seriously? Considering your “boss” is your boyfriend?” 

That made her laugh, easing the tension. She snuggled closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder, finding comfort in the warmth of his body.

“Wouldn’t you like that, though? To exhibit your work? Let the world see what you’ve got tucked away in all those notebooks?” Noah’s voice was low and sincere. “You could even write something, turn it into an illustrated novel or whatever you want.”

Lia looked up at him, and for the first time, there was a glimmer of real possibility in her eyes.

“Yes. Yes, I would,” she said, her voice filled with quiet honesty.

Noah’s excitement was imminent. 

“I can help you with ideas. Maybe I can doodle something and you can improve it if you ever feel stuck or…”

Lia laughed, nudging him playfully. 

“I think you should stick to writing. I’ll handle the art,” she said, picking up the notebook they’d been using and shaking it, the potato drawing that Noah had made still on the page.

“Fair enough,” he agreed, wrapping his arms fully around her, squishing her and prompting her to drop the notebook. “But you can’t deny this was the best blindfolded potato drawing you’ve ever seen.”

“I’ll give you that,” she said with a giggle as she felt his lips and nose brush her neck. 

Lia leaned her head back onto his shoulder, and they sat there quietly in the peaceful warmth of her studio, perfectly content just being wrapped up in each other. Noah began swaying them gently, side to side, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of her. Outside, the sun had dipped lower, casting a soft, warm glow through the windows, wrapping the room in a golden haze.

“You fit perfectly in my arms,” Noah whispered, his lips brushing her ear.

Lia hummed contentedly, her heart full as she nuzzled her nose against his chin, tenderly.

“Because it’s where I’m meant to be.”

Noah’s heart swelled with something sweet and heavy, like warm honey filling every corner of his chest.

“Right answer,” he teased, before lightly tickling her sides, causing her to squirm and giggle in his grasp, but with no hope of escaping. He held her close, thrilled by her laughter, by the fact that she was his, completely and utterly.

He couldn’t wait to get on that plane and head to Japan, this time with her by his side not just as his best friend, but as his girl. The thought of them wandering through the vibrant cities and tranquil gardens together filled him with an excitement he hadn’t felt before.

He nibbled playfully at her earlobe before murmuring,

“Off to Japan in two days, baby. You ready?”

We're off to Japan in the next chapter, babes!! 🥳

— prev. chapter | chapter nine

🔖 Taglist:

@somebodyels3 | @respectfulrebel | @thecoyotescry | @bluestdai | @lma1986

@sweetwombatpizza | @missduffsblog | @shilohrosechicken | @jilliemiw86 | @alwaysfightforwhoyouare

@chey-h

[hesgomorrah]

Trapper John, M.D. Masterpost

TL;DR, Trapper John, M.D. is a criminally underrated M*A*S*H spin-off that I'd love to see given a shot at redemption. Links to watch it are under the cut.

Since I've been talking about this show a lot recently, I thought it would probably be a good idea to make it easier to find, since it's fairly obscure nowadays.

If you've never heard of it, I don't blame you. TJMD is a M*A*S*H spin-off that ran from 1979 to 1986, with a contemporary setting and generally more dramatic tone but the same irreverent sense of humor and at times surprisingly progressive writing as its predecessor. It follows Trapper John McIntyre thirty-ish years after the Korean War, contending with medical mysteries and changing times as Chief Surgeon of a major hospital in San Francisco.

The series has few direct references to the events of M*A*S*H (in any of its previous forms), but it features a compelling ensemble cast of original characters that take many tropes M*A*S*H fans will be familiar with in new directions. Especially if you enjoyed the first three seasons of M*A*S*H, I highly recommend giving at least a handful of episodes a shot. The quality of said episodes varies wildly, but there are some true gems in there. (IMDb and Wikipedia links for more information!)

The only catch is, to date, the series has never been officially released to home media or any streaming platform, and I haven't found any evidence that it's still in syndication, so it's not the easiest show to track down. Luckily, all 151 episodes were recorded by dedicated fans, so the series is watchable in (very nearly) its entirety if you know where to look. I did the looking so you don't have to!

This Google Drive contains every episode of the series (with the exceptions listed below) in standard definition, plus my work-in-progress episode guide, highlighting episodes that are relevant to longer story arcs and offering a non-exhaustive list of content warnings for especially heavy episodes. (I'm looking for another place to host them but Google is the platform I'm most familiar with.)

Episodes 1x01 through 3x02 can be found in better quality here, remastered by a fan by combining footage from separate English- and German-language recordings of the series. It occasionally lapses into German audio with English subtitles as the German dub contains some scenes for which the corresponding English audio has been lost. Here is an alternate YouTube link with lower video quality but exclusively English audio, containing roughly 2/3 of the episodes.

If you speak German, you can find that dub here with slightly cleaner visuals.

If you prefer to torrent, you can find those here:

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4 (the second half of 4x20 is corrupted, repeating the same ~2 minutes of footage for the rest of the duration)

Season 5 (5x11 is missing roughly the last 10 minutes of the episode)

Season 6 (the video is frozen for most of 6x23 but the audio is fully intact)

Season 7

[rolandtowen]

rolandtowen masterpost

Hi there! I'm rolandtowen. You can also call me Char (she/her). I'm in the process of uploading more of my fics to tumblr, but in the meantime feel free to peruse this masterpost and my blog!

all my current wips are above the cut, and my completed works can be found under the cut, which range from cherik and zukka to gen x-men, marvel, and atla (this part is still under construction, bear with me pls).

WIPs

oh - my - god - keep - me from going lunatic (ao3) // bucky barnes recovery; pre-stucky; mature

chapter 1 tumblr link chapter 2 tumblr link chapter 3 tumblr link chapter 4 tumblr link chapter 5 tumblr link chapter 6 tumblr link chapter 7 tumblr link chapter 8 tumblr link chapter 9 tumblr link chapter 10 tumblr link

The Daily Logs (ao3) // snippets of bucky's journal from OMGKMFGL

chapter 1 tumblr link

Completed

i'm doing this for revenge (ao3) // sambucky, bucky goes to therapy; teen

chapter 1 tumblr link chapter 2 tumblr link chapter 3 tumblr link chapter 4 tumblr link chapter 5 tumblr link chapter 6 tumblr link

it is my duty (ao3) | (tumblr) // sam wilson, character study; gen

the babysitter (ao3) | (tumblr) // headmaster!wolverine, h/c; gen

tell me who i should be (ao3) | (tumblr) // cherik, angst, amnesia; teen

[subway-boss-jericho]

Aside from his cries, What kind of sounds does Ingo make now?

Lovely question! 🥺 :D

Steady Tracks Ingo, unfortunately, does not have a proper set of vocal chords to speak most of the sounds needed for English language. While this is still about his cry, his regular sounds that he can achieve just by speaking involve any combination of sounds from his existing cry. A-W-L-A B-O-A-H. This is obviously limiting, but gives him a decent vocal variety to work with. When speaking aloud, most sounds he makes are heavily guided by his instincts, and by extension rarely map to human word forms and sentence structure.

Outside of his cry! He can do other things!!

I am not going to reveal exactly how he can do this because I wanna write about it some time later down the line, but he can make a low, loud wind-instrument sound like a proper train whistle. He does this naturally, but can also do it purposefully as well. It is usually used (when intentional) to express joy or as a warning call. Due to the nature of how loud/harsh it can be on the ears, he tries to be careful when using it in casual settings or when people are particularly close by.

Additionally! Through means I again plan to elaborate on in further chapters, Ingo has abilities that allow him to produce seismic vibrations. Through the same sort of way he can use Earthquake, he can make various buzzing, rattling, and rumbling sounds. This does mean that he can purr and if anyone calls it that he will die On The Spot from sheer, overwhelming embarrassment. I think I meant to post this on its own at some point but I have a drawing I'm gonna put below as an example :> as a treat. Made this last year.

While yes, he does do this to express pleasure, comfort, or ease, it's one of his most versatile forms of verbal/nonverbal/(does it count as verbal if it's not ?? speaking)/auditory communication. He often uses low rumbles to signify nervousness, displeasure, assent, dissent, wariness, frustration, and many other emotions. It's extremely context-based, and is often one of the easiest default replies in response to anything. Higher or faster buzzing is rarer, and I don't have a specific example of intention to offer, but you can imagine it's used in very different contexts. However, I do think he uses higher-pitched buzzes in short bursts as a way to get others' attention or express imploring/goading/approval. Like a phone vibrating. Genuinely I think he's mimicking phone notification sounds, but I don't think he realizes why.

This is not necessarily intentional on his behalf, but when straining his voice he tends to make loud metallic screeching and scraping sounds. This is probably what Boom Burst sounds like, although that move can likely take on the properties of most of his vocal abilities. This is what it would sound like if, for any reason, he tried/needed to scream at the top of his register. Bad for all involved! Including himself!

And just so you all know, he sounds most human when he's laughing. :>

I think that's the majority of his auditory toolkit! Thank you for the super engaging question!

Steady Tracks Masterpost

[pixellangel]

"Don't you feel stupid answering these questions when you don't even know who you are?"

STORYTELLER SYNTHESIS SCENE 1 - A GIRL NAMED V

overview - masterpost - taglist

____

Storyteller Synthesis is an indie cyberpunk RPG that I’m currently writing and designing. This is the first scene of the game, where we're introduced to our first party member - a girl named V. Please enjoy!

____

Onyxveil is a troubled city. The streets are covered in litter, the skies are gray with smog, and the only sources of light are flashing neon advertisements on walls. Within this bleak cityscape stands an equally troubled young girl, one with hot pink hair and an unfocused gaze. Just a few years ago, she experienced a horrific eve-

"Can you shut up and give the Player control already? Nobody wants your stupid expository speech."

...Ahem. As I was saying, just a few years ag-

"Why can't you ever listen? The Player isn't interested and neither am I. Get it over with."

Ugh. Fine. I came up with this whole summary, but if you're so ungrateful I GUESS I can throw it in as flavor text somewhere...

"Perfect, I'll make sure not to read it. Now get rid of this black screen so the Player can see."

Excuse me? I know what I'm doing.

"Sure. Just get rid of it."

Ugh. Fine.

[Now, in tile RPG format, we see the aforementioned girl from behind. She's at the edge of a rooftop, looking out into the smog-covered cityscape. The camera shifts downwards to show another person, one with a long, pale blue ponytail. The girl turns around and walks towards them. She keeps her distance, but begins speaking. Her character portrait shows a girl with purple, rectangular irises. Her hair is spiky and she wears some sort of strange cropped techwear hoodie. She looks dissatisfied.]

"So, "Sylvie." Long time no see."

> I could say the same to you.

...

"How long has it been now? Three years? Four?"

> Three.

Not sure.

"And how was your little warrior's expedition? Successful?"

Very.

> You could say that.

Not exactly.

"Good, good. Now, Don't you feel stupid answering these questions when you don't even know who you are?"

Wh- hey! I already told you not to go off script!

> I'm not sure.

Oh. Sorry, you don't need to answer that. Let me just fix this... small bug.

[The Narrator goes silent for a moment and the girl stiffens.]

There! Much better.

[The girl's character portrait is different when she speaks again. Her eyes are wide open with no shine. She has a wide, fake smile. Her hair spikes stand up a little less.]

"So sorry, SYLVIE! I don't know what came over me there. I'm glad your expedition went well! Woul d y ouu be wil lin g to h e-"

[She snaps out of it, shakes her head, and glares up at the sky.]

"UGH!! Stop doing that!!! I would literally NEVER talk like that. You of all people should know. Ughhh... anyway, Player, I'm not gonna keep up the "Sylvie" act. You aren't her and we both know it."

If you go off script again, I'll have to keep acting for you. Get back to the story or else.

"Shush. Player, follow me."

[The Narrator protests as the player follows the her down from the rooftop. The two come to an arcade, which the girl enters without hesitation.]

Ahem. Sylvie. You don't need to go in there. If you would just give me a minute, I can get her to come back out...

Sorry, this is going to take some time. Please be patient.

[The player enters the arcade anyway while the Narrator is distracted.]

"Hey. Glad you could make it."

[The arcade is empty, save for the two of them. Most of the machines look like they're out of order. A few of the arcade cabinets are still working, though.]

"If you're waiting for him to talk, you should know he can't hear us in here."

> "He"?

"The Narrator. He's messing stuff up in Onyxveil, and probably in other cities too. If i had to guess, I'd say his other targets would be The Sunbasked Stratum and Karma Point. They'd be good settings for a story, so..."

> Why can't he hear us in here?

What is he trying to do?

Who are you?

"I dunno. My guess is that he never intended for anything to happen in this arcade, so it's barely more than set dressing. I've never heard him speak a word while I’m in here, though. It’s pretty nice."

Why can't he hear us in here?

> What is he trying to do?

Who are you?

"He's writing some stupid story. I don't know... it's hard to explain, and we probably don't have much time. All you really need to know is that he's meddling with reality for his own selfish reasons and not taking anyone else into account."

[Her face contorts in anger.]

Why can't he hear us in here?

What is he trying to do?

> Who are you?

"My name's V. There's nothing else you need to know about me."

> Who am I?

"You’re the one playing the video game. Obviously."

> That's not what I meant.

"Oh, you must want to know who's body you're in. It's another person from Onyxveil. Their name is Sylvie. They went out on some training journey a few years ago. I... haven't seen them since."

> ...

"It doesn't matter. I need your help, Player. I don't want to be trapped in this stupid reality where I'm a character in a story I never asked to be a part of."

> What do you want me to do about that?

"I want you to help me kill the Narrator."

[V looks determined, but angry. This Narrator person has very clearly wronged her in some way, and based on her face, it looks like it was extremely personal.]

> How are we meant to do that?

"I don't know all the details just yet. However, I think the most effective method would be for us to assemble a party of several people. More people means more firepower, and he already wants us to gather more allies to fight the robots that keep appearing in the city. It'll be easy to fly under the radar as long as we don't discuss it in front of him."

[She speaks quickly and confidently. It seems she's been thinking over her plan for a long time.]

> Do you know who we need?

[alarrytale]

do you think the team is trying to get rid of the older fandom? seems like they want younger, more conservative het girlies to follow him in hopes to get with him, because i can't see how this stunt is benefitting him, it makes him look badly. his fandom is no longer a safe space. most divided fandom ever, how is it beneficial to him?

Hi, anon!

No, i don't. It doesn’t make any sense from a business point of view to try to get rid of your most loyal paying customers. It also doesn’t make sense to try to get rid of the part of fandom who are able to engage and lead others, into working together to get him number one albums, do free promo, expose him to new people and run his fandom. Just because we think he's gay and in a relationship with H.

Because let's be real, without larries he wouldn't have a fandom. There would be no more art, fan fics, lyric analysis, discourse and memes. Us larries sit on the knowledge, the lore, the facts. We're the resourceful ones. The ones in power. Cater and care for us? Then you're set. Losing us larries would be career ending for Louis. There'd be no sense of community, togetherness nor unity left among fans.

That's the truth of it, and his team knows this.

This fandom hasn't been a safe space since 16th of september 2012. I'm a bit astonished anyone would think otherwise. You think fandom is fractioned and everyone is fighting and hating? Well, it's still not half as bad as it used to be. Imagine a fandom of much younger fans, with less knowledge where every fraction got validated from time to time, and the didvide and conquer technique from their team actually worked to control us? That was worse.

Our biggest problem as a fandom now is the loss of dogma. We used to agree more on theories, we relied on established facts and we knew who H and L was and who they wanted to be. I find it really difficult being in a fandom with new fans who dig up stuff that was debunked 15 years ago, or try to invalidate fans who were there when it happened, fans with double their experience, twice as wise with time. It's exhausting. So many veterans have left that i've lost count.

Nobody is making masterposts anymore to explain events or document context. Nobody is making deep analysis based on research that sounds plausible and true. The sound, resonable, calm and mature fans are gone. They didn’t want to be a part of fandom anymore when they saw how H and L behaved.

Fans now blame fandom and each other for disengaging and remember a time when things were better, more fun and happier. But it isn't true that 2012 or 2016 was any better when it comes to hateful fans, stunting and fighting. You know what the difference is? Back then we used memes to process and ignore shit, we made fun of people with bonkers theories, we told weak larries who think they broke up to get themselves together and showered them in masterposts to make them see sense. We certainly didn’t refer to people who think L is a dad as a larrie... You were either with us, or against us. If you were in you had to abide by our dogmas, our lore, our pride as conspiracy theorists. We had fandom leaders. The handful of a few, wise and knowledgeable, smart and funny bloggers. All of them are gone. Why? It was not fandom who drove them away, but H and L. They couldn’t condone their actions, and there were no end or change in sight.

You know what makes a good fandom a good fandom? It's members. The quicker you learn that your own contribution or lack of contribution affects your own and other's fandom experience the quicker we'll have our fun and happy fandom back. Ask yourself how you can contribute to your own fandom in a postive way. Find your thing, your passion. Let others engage with you and let us develop our theories and truths together. Let yourself be corrected and learn as we go.

You know what we used to have, but don't anymore? A debunk blog (a fan gathering every debunked theory), fans challenging preposterous theories, a blog with a daily sum up of fandom happenings and tabloid articles (everyone contributed to the summary by sending stuff to them). Some run discourse blogs, some have a huge tagging system so new fans can read up on stuff. Let's build our fandom up again and start helping each other out. We need those leaders, someone to take initiative who asks for help. Maybe the state of things with H and L have killed off all motivation to engage that deeply in fandom. But that doesn’t change the fact that we make our own fandom. If you don’t like it and don't contribute to making it a better place? Then you have no right to complain.

[huffle-dork]

Glitch into the Hufflverse Chapter 11: Darker Seas

Read Swapboys | Read Crystal’s AUs | Read Septnautical | Darker Seas AU

Read SITCV | Read SATCV | GITHV Masterpost

The swim back is easier this time- without anything chasing after them. There’s the distant sounds of the crabsquids and jelly rays but it’s smooth sailing.

Anti hurries down to the base and knocks on the door again, not wanting to freak out the people inside.

There’s a beat then the door opens quickly, Zara’s face bright with joy. “Anti! You’re oka- oh my god?!” Zara gasps seeing all the hybrids gathered in front of the door.

“…we need some help?” Anti says with a nervous smile.

“Y-yeah c’mon! I’ll take you to the medbay and… I’ll get Danan and those blankets again!” Zara says hurriedly. She starts to swim down the hallway and turns the corner, Anti right behind her.

The other hybrids pour into the base behind them. "W-well, we got them back, a-as you can see," Schneep says, trying to sound lighthearted but his voice still trembling with nerves. "Your device worked. Thank you."

“I… I can’t believe it did! That’s… that’s great news!” Zara laughs, but she also sounds nervous.

Jackie, Alt, and Bro, JJ says, pointing out the others, their friends who'd been lost.

"H-hi," Jackie says quietly.

Zara looks at the others and smiles. And Bro’s breath hitches really taking in Zara’s face. She’s so different here… and she’s swimming- kinda like she has a limp. What happened to her…?

“Nice to meet you all.” Zara says.

“Y-Yeah… y-you too…” Bro whispers.

They hurry into the med bay- a small room that’s dark and Zara hurries to grab a light to turn it on. There’s a few hospital like beds bolted to the ground and a couple flickering monitors looking like they’re for x-rays. “Sorry this one is for uh… looking at other fish and Anti so… I uh… h-hope it’s comfortable. You can lay down whoever needs to get looked at on the tables. And I’ll get Danan and blankets!!” She says hurriedly and spurs back down the hall.

Bro watches her go then sighs and goes to swim in and tries to lay Alt down on the table.

JJ looks everyone over. I can heal surface injuries, like claws and bites and stuff.

"Ah... I would appreciate if you could do that for me," Schneep says, his injured tendrils waving in the water.

Bro, Jackie, do you need to be looked over? JJ asks. On a medical bed?

"I-I-I think I'm fine," Jackie says, wrapping his arms around himself. "It's a bit... cold, but I think that's just cause of the water..."

Bro pants a bit and shakes his head. “I’m fine… just… s-shaken from all of this…”

"W-we should be careful of Alt and Marvin," Schneep says quietly. "We do not want them to be scared by the environment."

Alt seems reluctant to leave Bro’s arms but eventually curls up on the table, holding his arms and trying to breathe and not panic. But- he’s super aware of the mask and how much it hurts and how awful he feels. He shivers.

Anti nods to Schneep and goes to just sit with Marvin on the table, holding him to his chest. Marvin isn't looking at anyone, digging claws into the edge of his mask, his fingers trembling.

Schneep prowls back and forth across one wall, nervous. Jackie just sort of... floats there. He's still processing everything.

JJ swims over to Anti and Marvin. I know this is probably very confusing, but you're safe now, he says to Marvin with a soft smile. The people here can help.

Marvin startles and looks at JJ with wide eyes. He curls up against Anti. “…w-who are you…? You.. you look like Jamie but…you’re not.”

“He’s someone… similar,” Anti tries to say gently. “But you can trust him… and the one that looks like Schneep… and t-they trust the others…”

Marvin still looks a bit scared but he nods.

JJ nods slowly. Don't worry, I'll give you space if you want, he says, backing up.

“T-Thank you…” Marvin says quietly.

Bro leans on Alt’s table and then feels… heavy… it’s hot in here… his head lolls a bit as he struggles to keep his eyes open, his arms trembling.

"Um... B-Bro?" Jackie says, looking at Bro. "Are you... okay? You look... bad. Tired?"

“Y-Yeah yeah I’m…” Bro says dazedly then shakes himself out, blinking slowly. “I’m… good. I’m just… t-tired yeah…”

"Tired all of a sudden?" Schneep's eyes widen. "Th-that is probably not good." He swims over to Bro, putting a hand on his forehead, feeling out his condition.

Bro definitely has a fever and is shaking quite a bit. He has a glazed look in his eye that he keeps trying to blink back. “‘M fine Hen… ‘m okay…” he mummers tiredly.

Alt sits up and looks at Bro with concern.

"H-he has a fever," Schneep reports. "I-I think he needs medical attention, too."

What happened?! JJ asks. That came on really suddenly!

"I-I don't know. Perhaps this is all just hitting him at once?"

“N-No ‘m okay guys, really…!” Bro tries to smile at them. “We gotta focus on Marv and Alt… a fever isn’t a big deal…”

"I would say it is, actually," Schneep says. He doesn't want to worry Bro, but... a sudden fever could easily be the sign of something worse.

Finally, the door opens and Dr. Danan comes back in with a worried look. “Z-Zara filled me in are you all-?!” She gasps as she sees Marvin and Alt with their masks and hurriedly digs through her bag. “L-Let me get some scans to see what we’re dealing with!”

JJ and Schneep swim back, letting Danan do her work first.

She swims over and does Alt first who tries his best not to move as she waves the tool around the edges of Alt’s face.

Danan then hurries over to Marvin and he cringes curling up and digging fingers in more. “oh nonono! Don’t do that love let me see please-“ Danan tries to say gently to him. Anti whispers something to him and Marvin finally lets go and Danan scans him quickly. Once done Marvin curls back up.

Danan then swims over to one of the monitors and starts to click around on her tool to try to transfer the scans to the screen.

Now that Danan seems done, JJ says, Ah, doctor, our other friend here is suddenly hot. He gestures at Bro. Is that... normal?

"I do not think it is," Schneep mutters. "But—but maybe it has something to do with the sort of fish he is? Do you know anything about that?"

Danan blinks and looks at them with knitted eyebrows. “Hot?” She looks over at Bro and frowns. “He’s.. a boneshark so… not that I know of? That’s… that’s not good… are any of the others starting to feel hot at all?” She asks Schneep and JJ.

Bro is staring out ahead. Why does the room look like it’s swimming..? And why did it look like for a second he saw yellow hair…?

"I-I do not know—no one else has says anything!" Schneep stammers. "Jamie, do any of them look feverish?"

I don't think so? JJ says, head darting between Alt, Marvin, and Jackie.

Jackie keeps hugging himself, sinking down to the ground where he curls his tail up. "I'm... I'm just... t-tired," he mutters.

Alt shakes his head but then pauses, “I’m… a little warm…? I can’t really tell…”

Anti feels Marvin’s forehead and frowns. Marvin has closed his eyes and is dozing against Anti. “I… I can’t tell.” He says quietly.

“Mmm..  the fatigue is justified considering the circumstances…” Danan mutters. “Let's see about getting these masks off then I can run some more tests if that's okay?”

"Please hurry," Schneep whispers. "I-I do not think they can eat with that there—unless you have other ways to get food. Injections of some sort."

Danan looks just as worried. “No we don’t have anything like that so let me get to the bottom of this…” 

Is there anything we can do to help? JJ asks. Or should we stay out of your way?

Danan smiles at JJ and shakes her head. “You all just rest…”

Jackie leans back against the wall while they talk, closing his eyes. Maybe he can fall asleep right here.

Schneep and JJ hover nearby, both looking anxious. 

Danan then gets the scans up on the monitor. She looks them over and then gasps at the sight. “Stars…! This is…!” She then curses, “That damn witch Jezebeth!” Before she swims to look through the drawers in the room. “I’m so sorry boys… I had no idea this went as deep as it did I… I might need to sedate you to get these off…!”

"What?! Wh-what?!" Schneep gasps. "That—that went that far into their—?!"

“T-Their jaw bones and muscles yes I-I…” Danan stammers, looking distressed. “I-I luckily still have a medical fabricator so it can rebuild the damage it just… they have to be completely still and… I don’t want it to hurt.”

JJ stares at the masks in horror. And then in anger. They have no right to mess with people's bodies like that! At least we could get the gauges out without sedation!

"Y-you two—you two please don't worry," Schneep says, darting closer to the medical beds again. "W-we will fix this. W-we'll just need to—to—it will take more than expected."

Bro growls tiredly, digging nails into the bed. “those fucking Bastards…!”

Jackie opens his eye slightly, staring at the commotion with a slightly glazed look. The water doesn't feel as cold anymore... he must be getting used to it.

Anti looks disturbed but he looks down at Marvin who has basically passed out. “Y-You’re good for Marv doc… get it over with before he wakes back up…”

Danan nods and hurries over, gently going to inject the sedative into Marvin. He slumps a bit more and Anti gently lays him down on the table, looking worried.

Alt looks like he’s on the verge of panic, sinking claws around his mask and breathing heavily.

Alt, please, please, you'll only hurt yourself, JJ says, trying to look reassuring and not like the anxious mess he feels like. Put your hands down. We'll be right here. We won't let anything happen to you.

Alt looks at JJ with terrified eyes and then back at Danan as she approaches. “I promise this is to make it as least painful as possible, Alt…” the Dr. says gently. “I don’t want this to hurt you…”

Alt makes a couple more panicked breaths before he eventually lets go and nods. Danan smiles and carefully moves some of his hair out of the way to inject him. Alt blinks heavily, already feeling the pull then Bro shakily leads him down.

Once Alt is down, Danan hurriedly grabs her equipment and starts to set up the fabricators- seems she has enough for both of them.

As that gets set up, Schneep swims over. "Chase, y-you have to lie down, please," he says. "You look like you're about to pass out. And then you cannot stay by Alt if you're asleep, yes?" His tone is unusually gentle.

Bro floats a bit straighter and blinks blearily at Schneep. “Hm? Uh… yeah maybe I…I’ll…” He glances at the door- then sharply inhales as he sees Demerci staring right at him through the window.

He yells in surprise then tumbles back, hitting the back wall in his scramble to get away. “N-No…!”

"Chase?!" Schneep gasps, staring at Bro in confusion. "What—A-are you okay?!"

JJ follows Bro's line of sight. He's looking at the door. What are you looking at, Bro?

Schneep blinks. "A... a hallucination, maybe? Chase, do you have hallucinations normally?"

“I-I- no I…!” Bro stammers in slight fear, looking paler. “I-It’s Demerci-! S-She’s right there! D-don’t you see her?!”

Danan startles a bit at this and looks at the door in confusion.

But then, Zara opens the door even as Bro yells and covers his head with his arms, shaking like a leaf. “I got the blankets!” She says cheerily. She then blinks in confusion to Bro’s reaction. “…damn is my face that scary…?”

JJ shakes his head. It's not you, Z. He's seeing someone else.

“Oh… that’s not good.” Zara says with a worried frown.

"Bro, Bro, please." Schneep gently grabs Bro's hand. "Clearly, JJ cannot see this Demerci. A-and I cannot sense any souls besides us, Danan, and Zara. If she's as close as you say, I would definitely be able to sense her. But--if she is somehow there, we outnumber her, yes? We can take her down. Y-you are safe here."

Jackie watches Schneep and Bro, blinking slowly. This feels somehow familiar... But reversed.

Bro whimpers and looks at Schneep with a terrified expression. “I-I swear I saw her Hen I-I’m not crazy…! I-I can let her get to Alt again I… I can’t-!” 

"No, I believe you, I-I'm sure you saw her, but she will not get to Alt, I promise," Schneep says in a calm voice. "We are going to protect him, okay? We are going to stay right here and protect him. Please don't go running off after her. We cannot get separated." JJ hovers anxiously behind Bro, listening to this.

Bro seems to calm down a bit at this and he slowly nods. “O-Okay I… won’t.” He laughs tiredly. “I-I don’t think I could even if I w-wanted to…” he then tiredly leans forward and lays against Schneep’s shoulder, his eyelids fluttering. “You make me miss my Hen and Dr.j…” he mumbles dazedly, laughing a bit. “Yer like a fusion of them…”

Schneep blinks in surprise. "Hah. I will take that as a compliment." He wraps an arm around him in a half-hug. "We will get back there to them, I promise."

“It is…” Bro says with a smile, settling in some more against Schneep. “Yer good like both of them… kind… even if you give us that scary stern look jays gives us… or like…” Chase’s vision dims and dips in front of him and he sees Demerci bending down next to them and… smiling…? She seems so gentle here… Chase doesn’t even feel scared. “…mum…” he whispers before his eyes flutter shut altogether.

“Mum?” Schneep repeats, confused. What does that have to do with anything? Maybe Bro is just delirious? Either way, he’s asleep before Schneep can ask about it. He chuckles. “Alright, let’s get you a blanket, then.” He drags Bro through the water towards Jackie. Bro mumbles something incoherent back to Schneep as he’s dragged over.

Zara swims over to Jackie and lays the blankets down on the floor next to him. She smiles gently. “hey… feel free to rest on these, okay?”

Jackie looks over at her and nods. "Thanks..." He smiles back, and looks down, sorting through the blankets. "You're so nice... I can see why I like you in those other worlds..." His voice gets quiet at the end. He doesn't think she can hear him.

Zara pauses in helping set them up and then looks at Jackie with wide eyes and a slight blush. “…w-what..?”

"O-oh, uh... I didn't realize you could hear that..." Jackie says, staring at her. "Um... I-I've been to... two other universes where you were uh... in a sort of relationship with a 'Jackie.' One was in its early stages and another was um... you were older an'... married." He clears his throat. "Um—y-you're really nice and pretty, b-but I actually have a boyfriend in my own world, so don't, uh... think of me that way?"

Zara blushes even more, “w-with Jackie? RL-006??” She looks flabbergasted by this and thoughtfully touches her scarred cheek. She then laughs and shakes her head. “…don’t worry. Not really in the right place right now to be d-dating anyways…”

JJ looks towards Jackie, slightly distracted by his rambling exchange. You said he was called Frederick, right?

"Yeah... he's pretty too." Jackie hums. "He has silky black hair and sparkly black eyes... pretty."

JJ laughs a little. Zara here has dark hair too, you know. And where I'm from, a version of you is married to a spouse with black hair.

"...Fuck, do I have a type?" Jackie mutters.

Zara smiles wide listening to Jackie talk about Fredrick. Then bursts into giggles at Jackie’s last statement. “Well… I’m flattered, truly. S’been a while since I thought I was pretty.” She laughs lightly.

“Well you arrrre,” Jackie says. “Jameson, isn’t she pretty?”

JJ  frowns. I’ve never liked girls romantically.

“Then you’ll be, uh…” Jackie struggles with the word for a second. “…objective!”

JJ laughs a little. Okay if you insist. Yes, I agree.

“Seeee?” Jackie yawns. As Schneep brings Bro over he curls up on the blankets next to him, subconsciously scooting a bit closer until he’s pressed up against Bro. Mm… warm…

Zara giggles, “You all are too nice. But… thank you.”  She smiles as she sees Jackie curl up against Bro.

Bro instinctually lays an arm over Jackie- as if wanting to protect him in his sleep.

Danan finishes setting up the machines and has actually used a laser cutter to take off the masks, exposing the open wounds for the fabricators to heal. Anti has been anxiously floating around Marvin the whole time. Danan finally sighs and gathers up the masks before addressing the group. “it will take a couple hours for the fabricators to work most likely… you all can rest here in the meantime and we can get you something to eat… whatever you need to feel comfortable.”

“Thank you, Dr. Danan,” Schneep says. “W-we really appreciate everything you’ve done to help.” He swims over to Jackie and Bro, settling down a little apart from them.

JJ nods in agreement. We do need rest and food, but I think the rest can come first. He looks at Anti. For you too. Marvin will still be here when you wake up. And I don’t think you want him to see you looking exhausted when he comes out of the sedative.

While JJ talks, Schneep has slowly scooted closer to Jackie and Bro, hoping that no one will notice.

Anti blinks over at JJ and seems confused for a second before he seems to sag. “…right right… I’m just… I’m afraid if I go to sleep… I-I might wake up and he’ll be gone again…” he whispers.

JJ smiles. I know that worry. But I promise, this is real. And we’re safe here. And he won’t leave you again. I’m sure he missed you as much as you missed him.

Anti’s lip trembles but he slowly nods. “…okay… okay…” his gaze lingers on Marvin for a bit before he goes to curl up at the edge of his bed, laying down in some of his tails.

Bro in his sleep is panting a bit, eyebrows knit together in slight pain.

JJ looks over at Bro, worried. Hopefully that dies down soon. For now, he swims over to join the rest of the group, squeezing under the pile they’ve all formed. He sighs, and tries to put his worries out of his mind as he closes his eyes.

Danan and Zara smile as all the boys settle down to rest. They quietly leave the lab, promising to check back later.

=========

Hours pass… but it’s hard to tell the passage of time here since they can’t see any light from the surface.

Everything seems to be going smoothly- the fabricators seem almost done with fixing the wounds on Alt and Marvin. Alt is trembling a bit in his sleep, the sedative slowly wearing off. He makes quiet whimpers as his eyes flit around under his eyelids, caught in a dream most likely.

Marvin on the other hand is still very still- it’s almost hard to tell if he’s breathing but he is. Anti is still curled up next to him, sleeping peacefully.

Bro’s panting and fever have only gotten worse as he presses his burning face into whoever is near, clinging to them and biting back a whimper. It’s hot… why does that feel familiar…?

Jackie is the first to wake up. He blinks his eyes open slowly and looks around. His head feels… weird. Is he sick? He raises it slightly and looks around the room. He hadn’t really taken in all the details before. All of the others are here, curled up together—Bro’s skin is hot against his. There’s also what looks like this world’s Anti and Marvin and someone else—

He freezes, staring at the figure. No. No, it's impossible. He can’t be here. But those purple eyes are unmistakable, looking over at him—

“Hello again, Jaaackie.”

Jackie screams.

Bro startles up immediately, gasping and looking around dazedly. “J-Jackie?!”

He tries to look over at him but is met face to face with Demerci again.

“Hi Chaser~ did you sleep well, love?” she whispers sweetly.

Bro screeches too and trips over himself to try to get distance, breathing heavily. “Nonono g-get away!”

JJ and Schneep immediately startle awake as the two other in their pile start screaming.

Anti jumps up at the screaming and hits his head on the underside of Marvin’s table in his scramble. He shakes this off and surges up into the water and over to the others, “Stars- what’s wrong?!”

“No! No, you’re not here!” Jackie wriggles out of the pile, scrambling back across the floor. “It’s impossible! Impossible!” His Marvin only laughs and gets closer. “No! S-stay the fuck away from me!”

“What is happening?!” Schneep asks. His brain scrambles. “A-are they seeing something, maybe?”

Anti swims back, looking at all their reactions with wide scared eyes. “Hallucinations??”

“Hallucinations,” Schneep confirms.

Everyone calm down! JJ says. There’s nothing in the room! He hurries over to Jackie’s side. Jackie��

“Get away from me, Jameson!” Jackie screams. The mandibles on his back snap, and JJ quickly jerks backwards, confused.

Bro pants, trembling like a leaf as Demerci seemingly lifts his chin up and smiles at him. “Love, you need to return to the base. You don’t belong here… and I miss you and your brother ever so much… won’t you come back to me?”

Bro bites back a whimper and shakes his head, “I-I can’t… y-you can’t hurt Alt anymore- I-I…”

“I don’t have to hurt you love… all you need to do is play along~” she hums sweetly. “Come back to the base and bring Alt too… then this can all be over~”

Bro chokes on a sob.

Alt meanwhile is blearily trying to open his eyes- his jaw is killing him and he feels really warm and shaky…

“Hello, cub~” Magnificent grins down over Alt. Alt yells hoarsely in fear and tumbles off the table in his scramble to get away.

JJ looks over at Alt as he falls. I think—I think all of them are experiencing that.

“Why would—This is not a sign of a fever, this is targeted,” Schneep mutters, his mind whirling. “A—a side effect, perhaps? An intended side effect? To—hurt them?” He shakes his head, swimming over to Bro. “Chase. Chase please, focus on me. D-don’t look at what you’re looking at. Focus on me, okay?”

Bro’s eyes flicker between Schneep and Demerci, unsure which one is real. “S-She’s gonna hurt Alt, Hen she’s-“ Bro’s head snaps to Alt as he yells and he tries to clumsily swim over to him but crashes over himself. “A-Alt!”

Alt feels like the breath has been knocked out of him as Mag bends down over to him. It feels like his head is being held down… or is his head just too heavy to lift?

“So sad to see you this way, kitten…” Magnificent purrs. “I wish I could have seen your spiral personally… how fascinating that would have been~” His voice is suddenly in Alt’s ears as he whispers. “Maybe I’ll drag you myself just to see it again~”

Alt croaks on a response but his entire face is so sore from the mask and the mouthpiece in it. “M-Mag- n-no…!” He breathes.

Jackie breathes heavily, eyes locked on the figure in front of him. “I’m coming for you, Jaaackie,” Marvin taunts. “You better run.”

And, instinctively, Jackie does, bolting for the door. JJ’s head whips around and he tries to conjure a shield to block Jackie in, but he’s just barely too fast, slipping through before the spell is complete. Damn it! JJ says. Schneep, you go after him, I don’t think he’ll react well to me.

Anti startles as Jackie bolts out. He hesitates for a second before following after him. “I-I’ll get him! Just hang on!”

JJ nods. With Anti going after Jackie, he turns his attention to Alt. He swims over, coming into view. Alt, it’s okay, you’re okay. We’re going to keep you safe. Did he say Mag? He’s not going to get you. Don’t listen to him.

Alt struggles to move his head back but looks at JJ with terrified eyes. “J…!” Magnificent is laughing so loudly in his ears and he chokes on a quiet sob.

“Chase, careful!” Schneep says, grabbing him and helping him up again. “Alt is fine! Look, he is okay. You can see that. Okay? Okay. Y-you are having difficulty swimming, it sounds like, do you want help getting to his side?”

Bro looks around wildly as Schneep grabs him. He- he feels solid through all the murky confusion. He grips Schneep’s shoulder and sobs. “I-I- I can’t let her g-get us Schneep- s-she’ll take us back there..! W-we can’t go back!” It’s unclear what back he’s talking about… hq? Or… somewhere else? 

You're okay, you're okay, JJ keeps signing, making sure that Alt can both see the signs and hear the voice from the robot fish. He's not sure what to do in this situation—maybe contact will help? He drapes the wings attached to his arms over Alt like a blanket. You're going to be okay. I promise.

Alt startles at the contact at first but then sinks against JJ, biting back frightened tears. But… the laughter seems a bit harder to hear under here. Is he really safe…?

"She's not going to get you," Schneep promises Bro. "Jamie and I will not let her get to you. You are not going anywhere, yes? Here, let's go over by Alt and Jamie. Come on." He helps Bro over to Alt's medical table.

Bro whimpers but clings to Schneep as he’s brought over. He can see Demerci trying to mouth stuff to him over Schneep’s shoulder but… it’s harder to hear her.

Once Bro has been lead to Alt on the ground the older brother gasps and tumbles down to be next to him. He hurriedly wraps him up in his arms and curls up against him, holding him tight, though still letting Jamie’s wing cover him. “You’re okay…! You’re okay…”

Alt jerks in surprise and then smiles dazedly, “C-Chase?” He whispers, voice still a bit raw. He hiccups a bit and then hides against Chase’s shoulder.

"We are all okay," Schneep says reassuringly. "See? We are all okay."

JJ smiles and nods. Don't worry. If anything bad happens, we'll help protect you. He adjusts his position so the wing is over Bro as well.

"Just everyone take deep breaths," Schneep says. "Everything is fine."

Bro takes a shakily breath and his shoulders relax. He hugs Alt around his back and the cooling blue light of JJ’s wing helps to calm him down too. “W-we’re okay…” he breathes and Alt nods against him. “We’re okay…” Alt gazes up at JJ and Schneep with slightly more focused eyes. “T-Thanks guys…”

Of course, JJ says, nodding. Schneep smiles.

Jackie swims wildly through the base, crashing into walls. Behind him, he hears more laughter, and he can see the purple glow. He sobs. He can’t go back there! He can’t let him take him again!

Anti tries his best to speed after Jackie- and luckily he knows these halls and all their turns. He quickly gains on Jackie then tries to grab him. “Jackie! Breathe! You’re seeing things! You’re okay!”

Jackie yelps, instinctively squirming against the grip. He looks back--no, it's not Marvin, it's Anti. "A-Antiiii," he cries. "I don't—h-he's not supposed to be here! H-how is he here?! I'm not—I c-can't just be seeing things, I—I-I've never--"

"Trying to escape, Jackie?" Marvin looms behind Anti, grinning.

Jackie cries out. "H-he's right behind you! W-we have to get out of here!" He grabs onto Anti in turn, trying to pull him away from the glowing violet figure.

Anti swallows shakily and shakes his head, not letting Jackie pull him away. If anything he tries to pull him closer. “It’s okay Jackie- no one here is gonna hurt you! There’s no one behind me… w-we need to get you back to the lab so Danan can look at you and figure out what’s wrong!”

"Don't lie to me!" Jackie shouts. "I-I can see him right there!" He squeezes Anti tightly. "H-he might be able to hurt even you!" He shakes his head. "I-I can't go back to that place! I-I can't go back to that dark room! H-he's gonna kill me this time, I-I know he will, I'll be too much t-trouble—"

Anti laughs a bit and shakes his head. “You won’t be taken anywhere bad Jackie… you said he’s behind me right? Watch-“ he gently floats back, going to lightly wrap his tail around Jackie’s hand so he can go back a bit farther. “He won’t hurt me. You’re okay.”

Jackie cries out as Anti floats back towards Marvin. But... nothing happens. Even though Marvin is still looking at him and smiling that sick grin. Marvin... Marvin would try to attack him, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he? Maybe—maybe something's up? Even so, he doesn't want to get close. He hesitates for a moment, then suddenly swims forward at Anti, wrapping his arms around him. His whole body is trembling. "Let's go—quickly!" he whispers.

Anti oofs out in surprise and looks down at Jackie with wide eyes. He holds his arms out- unsure what to do. But… like this… oh. He reminds him of his Jackie… when he was small… scared of the thunder and the big wide ocean… Anti blinks back tears and holds an arm around Jackie and hurries them back down towards the med bay. “okay okay- I got you…”

Jackie nods fast. He's trying not to look towards the purple glow as they head back down the hallways.

JJ looks up when Anti and Jackie return. Schneep also perks up. "You are back," he says.

"Sch-Schneep?" Jackie says quietly. "Schneep? A-a-are you... okay?"

"Yes, I am fine," Schneep says, swimming over. As soon as he gets close Jackie latches onto him instead of Anti, holding him tight. "Whoa! A-a bit tight there, Jackie."

"Pl-please—you can't listen to them anymore," Jackie stammers. "Please."

"I won't," Schneep says quietly. "I won't."

Anti blinks in surprise then looks back down at Alt, Bro and JJ before looking back at Schneep, “…any idea what he’s talking about….?”

“His Schneep…” Alt croaks quietly, “…I think h-he misses him… b-bad people have him…”

Anti’s eyes widen, “…like they had Marvin… my brothers…”

“Y-yeah…” Alt looks back at the others and seems a lot more calm and awake but he holds the trembling Bro to his shoulder. “C-Can we get the d-doctor…? I… C-Chase doesn’t get s-sick like this…”

Where did she go? Is there any way we can call for her? JJ asks, looking around.

“I can find her,” Anti says and hurries back out.

"He does not get sick like this?" Schneep repeats. "What do you mean?"

I think he means about his powers... JJ says slowly.

Alt nods, “Mhm… h-he might be under the weather but n-not this severely… h-he doesn’t get fevers this bad… I-I’m usually the s-sickly one.” He tries to laugh but it falls short.

"I-I wish I could help, but... my knowledge of medicine does not extend to side effects after being mind controlled," Schneep says slowly. "I... I suppose we just..." Then he realizes something. Jackie, holding tight to him, is also a bit hot. He presses his hand against his forehead. "Wait a moment. Jackie, do you have a fever, too?"

"I... dunno," Jackie says slowly. "M'head feels a bit weird...?"

"Weird how?"

"H-heavy, I guess... and... watery? More than just being in water, I mean. Everything's full of water."

"Scheisse," Schneep curses.

“I-it’s okay Schneep… t-this is the future… I’m sure there’s… there’s something…” Alt mumbles, trying to keep his eyes open.

Dr. Danan quickly bursts back into the room, in a bit of panic. “A-Anti said something was wrong?” She looks down at all the boys shaking and trembling and she inhaled sharply. “stars… o-okay… uh… scans I can do more scans hold on…” she grabs her scanner from earlier and goes to scan the boys.

“Chase was having hallucinations right? Hallucinations, fever, fatigue…” she muses to herself as she waits for the scans to process.

"They were all hallucinating, I think," Schneep says. "Except for Marvin, of course, he is still asleep. If that helps at all." He pats Jackie on the back. "Come on, Jackie, let's sit you down on this table over here."

"Okay..." Jackie mumbles, still clinging to Schneep as he guides him over to a medical table.

Alt struggles to help Chase up who still refuses to let Alt go. “C’mon Chase…”

“I-If you all are experiencing the same symptoms then it must be from what happened to you…” Danan muses. She goes to scan by Jackie’s ears and gets a result. Her PDA reads out: Detecting hallucinogenic toxins in subject’s bloodstream. Symptoms include hallucinations, fatigue, fever, paranoia, vivid dreams-

“Toxins? Okay… okay,.. we can work with this… some food with charcoal can help, water to flush the system and… oh…! These toxins are man made… so… we may be able to draw them out magnetically and replace the blood?” Danan mumbles to herself, swimming back and forth as she thinks.

"Replace the blood?" Schneep gasps. "Technology has advanced that far in this world?!" He sounds excited about that.

Danan blinks at Schneep and smiles, “Oh well yes! It’s not common but there’s a process to use nanomagnets to draw out toxins in blood and then add back in the cleansed blood…”

If it's toxins, then that means the symptoms will definitely fade in time, JJ says. Is there anything we can do, doctor? Maybe we can go get supplies?

She looks back at JJ and hums, “Maybe… I think we have enough water, I have charcoal… we might need more food? Fish could help… I think we have some marblemelons left? That could help too…”

JJ nods. I guess I can go out and try grabbing something? I don't think I'm built for hunting, though.

"I can go with you in a second," Schneep says. "Just have to get Jackie to calm down."

Anti laughs, “It’s okay I don’t mind getting more… you can come if you wanna try but- yeah I don’t think ghost rays have a lot of hunting skills in their DNA.”

JJ smiles at Anti. If you're sure... I think I'll be more use here. He looks down at Bro and Alt. They need some support.

"Doooctor," Jackie repeats absentmindedly. "A real one?"

Danan blinks a bit in surprise and then laughs, “Yes I am a real doctor. Got my license is both human and Xeno biology.”

"She's a real doctor, Jackie," Schneep repeats.

"No' like you," Jackie mumbles. "With a real license?"

Schneep looks a bit surprised at that. "Ah... yes, with a real degree." He looks back at the others. "Apparently the me in his world doesn't have a real medical license?"

You don't have a license at all in my world, you're not a doctor there, JJ says.

"Interesting. But I don't think that's what he's implying."

“Schneep in Jackie’s world doesn’t have a license…? But he wanted to fix Henny…” Alt frowns sleepily.

Jackie's eyes focus over on Alt. He looks confused for a moment, then seems to realize who Alt is. "He thought he could," Jackie whispers. "But he wouldn't be able to. He'd just hurt him." He shivers a little. "I-I... I would have... let that... I'm... s-sorry..."

Alt blinks at Jackie and then smiles and shakes his head, “…it’s okay,.. you wouldn’t do that now… that’s what counts, right…?”

"I... y-yeah..." Jackie nods slowly. "Yeah."

Danan nods, “I’ll get started on what I can… but food and water will probably be the best start. Perhaps the fever is already burning through most of it….”

"...Jackie," Schneep says quietly. "What if I have to go?"

"N-no." Jackie grabs onto Schneep's arm. "Don't. H-he'll get you."

Scheep turns to Anti with an apologetic expression. "I... might not be able to go help, either."

Anti laughs and shakes his head, “Don’t worry I’ll get some.” He hurries out to go find some food. 

Alt pats Bro’s hair as the older brother shivers and whimpers against him.

“I’ll go get some of the other stuff… hang tight okay?” Danan says gently before heading out too.

"We will." Schneep nods,

Silence falls for a while. JJ closes his eyes, feeling the two brothers' breathing beneath him. Poor Bro... he says. My Marvin gets fevers often, I know how much they suck.

"You two are close?" Schneep mutters idly.

He's my best friend. And my roommate.

"Hah... in my world, Jackie and Marvin are best friends and roommates." Schneep smiles idly, but then it fades. "Judging from how Jackie spoke of his Marvin, though, back when we were stuck in that SCLERA place... it is not the case, there. Not at all."

Jackie shudders.

“Mmm yeah.. Marvin in his world is… terrifying.. he.. he hurt Jackie..” Alt mumbles quietly. “Mag used to be roommates with my Jackie too… before he was mag… maybe that’s another constant..?”

You would know better than us, Alt, JJ says. It's not like that in my world, but maybe mine is an exception.

“Mmm… sometimes.. I can’t remember right now…” Alt mumbles.

Schneep nods. "You have been to more places than us. Though... I am very curious about different worlds." He chuckles. "If we had some way to control our jumping, I would love to visit other universes. See the differences. What about you, JJ? Jackie?"

JJ frowns. I think... maybe some other time. I still have business to take care of at home. Maybe once that's done, I can think about hopping to other worlds.

Jackie is quiet for a moment. "I... just want to go home," he whispers. "I-I wanna see Frederick and Chase again."

Schneep squeezes his hand. "You will. I promise."

“…’m sorry Jackie…I’m sorry to all of you…” Alt says quietly, “…the rifts are… they’re my fault. Kinda… I know I’m not supposed to feel like that but I do…” he slurs and shuts his eyes. “‘M sorry our mistakes got you taken away from your homes…”

JJ looks at Alt. How could it have been your fault?

"You... got tricked or something, right...?" Jackie mumbles. "That... doesn't count. It's the fault of the guy who tricked you. He's the one who did it."

“..it wouldn’t have happened if me and bro didn’t f-fuck around with visiting universes so much…” Alt mutters, “…we got too comfortable. I thought I’d have the TRVLR for… at least longer than I did… now I don’t even know how to get you all home…”

"You tend to blame yourself for things a lot, don't you, Alt?" Schneep mutters. "You should not do that. We do not blame you, so you should not blame yourself." He pauses. "One time, I was tricked, too. My Anti... he made me think I killed my Chase. F-for months, I... I felt terrible. I-I stewed in it. But Chase did not blame me. He wanted me to be okay. I still felt bad, though, so he forgave me." He shakes his head. "It is the same situation here. We do not blame you."

Alt looks down and doesn’t look at the others, feeling delirious tears in his eyes. “…you sure…?” He says weakly.

"One hundred percent," Schneep says. "I promise."

JJ nods. It wouldn't be fair to blame you for this.

"I blame the guy who tricked you, not you," Jackie mutters tiredly, closing his eyes.

Alt is quiet for a second before he says tiredly, “…okay…” he leans more against his friends and tries not to let his thoughts get too negative.

Danan comes back after this and goes to set down some food in front of them off. 3 bottles of blackish water and 2 regular ones. And a huge melon-like thing sliced for them to eat. Danan smiles, “Here you go boys… hopefully this will start to help…”

JJ's expression brightens. He swims over and starts passing out the water bottles—correctly assuming that the blackish ones are for the sick boys. These will help you feel better, he says after everyone has a bottle.

Alt nods and smiles and tries to shake Bro to get him to drink. Bro blearily blinks out and Alt hurriedly tips his head to help him drink. Then, he reaches to grab some melon and hands it for Bro to eat. Bro sleepily takes it and starts to eat and Alt smiles and goes to drink the blackish water.

Schneep takes the bottle, then makes his way over to where Danan is and feels around until he finds the melon. He takes a slice. "What is this? Melon?"

Not a fan? JJ asks.

"Normally I do not care, but for some reason it doesn't seem as appetizing." Schneep passes the slice to Jackie, who takes it without question.

Danan chuckles, “Anti should be back soon with something more hearty… the sick boys need some more hydration though!”

Turns out, Anti was near and it doesn’t take much longer for him to swim back into the room. He throws a bag down in front of the others, a couple Reginalds and peepers spilling out. “There you go! Most decent fish I can find around here… hope that’s okay.”

"It is perfect, I'm sure, Anti," Schneep says, grabbing one of the peepers and absolutely devouring it. JJ stares at him, surprised at the ferocity, and decides to stick with the melons.

Alt sees the fish and his eyes sparkle and he can feel his mouth watering. God he really didn’t realize how hungry he was. He hurriedly grabs 3 of the fish and starts eagerly tearing into them. As he does his eyes glow a bit and almost look like they did when he was under Alterra’s control. 

Is everyone feeling a bit better with food in them? JJ asks. Jackie, drink the water.

"You can't fucking control me," Jackie mumbles, turning over away from him.

JJ tries to hide how hurt he is. But even the blind guy can see it. "Do not be offended," Schneep whispers. "He seems confused about things right now. And... remember, he said that the you in his world was terrible."

JJ softens a bit, and nods. You help him, then? I think that's better.

"Of course." Schneep swims on over. "Jackie, really, you need to drink the water." He holds out the bottle.

After a moment, Jackie takes the bottle and drinks slowly.

Bro seems to shudder looking at the fish and hugs his stomach. But… it feels like some of the fog is clearing. He hears Jackie snap at JJ and he frowns, slurring out, “J-Jackie… don’t be mean…”

"...sorry," Jackie says after a while. "I don'... mean it, Jameson. It's not... for you."

JJ nods. It's fine, Jackie. You've been through a lot.

"Remember to eat, too," Schneep says, handing Jackie a fish.

Jackie stares at the fish absentmindedly for a moment before taking it, tearing it apart with his teeth and hands.

You all must be very hungry, JJ says, taking a melon slice for himself.

"Are you not?" Schneep asks.

Yes, but I'm fine with this, JJ signs, and then begins eating the melon.

“I had that f-fucking mask on-“ Alt growls through bites. “I think Jackie and bro ate a bit during that-“

“Is that why my mouth tasted weird?” Bro says with an exhausted laugh. “…mmm… god they do look kinda good though…”

“If I had time to go to the lava zone- I’d get you guys red eyeyes.” Anti snickers. “They’re spicy, they taste awesome.”

Spicy fish? JJ repeats, eyebrows raised. Sounds strange.

“Sounds interesting,” Schneep says. “Perhaps some other time.” If they’re stuck in this world long enough.

Anti shrugs, “they’re my favorite!” He grins. “But eh- not worth going to the lava zone right now… especially cuz… well..” he bites his lip- thinking of his brothers all still trapped at HQ.

Bro hesitates then grabs a fish and tentatively takes a bite. Then he eagerly starts to tear into it too.

Anti hurries to grab some food for Marvin and goes to set it on his bed, checking over the warper mer. Marvin sleepily blinks up at Anti and then smiles. But, it doesn’t last that long for it to fade and it seem like Marvin is getting those hallucinations too. But- now Anti knows what to do. He offers the blackish water and the food to Marvin and scoots to hold him close as he quietly eats.

Danan smiles at the progress and nods, having done some research on her own. “okay… while you guys are eating I think… I think the scanner and Zara might be able to help me make… an anti venom basically? That way we wouldn’t have to… sit here and filter all 3 of your bloodstreams… that would take a long time. I-I just need a sample from one of you that is affected… if that’s okay?”

Jackie raises his hand. “You can take it from me, I don’t mind,” he says, looking a bit more alive now that he’s got some food in him. “I can handle it. I can handle a lot.”

“Don’t push yourself, Jackie,” Schneep mutters.

“It’s just gonna be a little needle, right?” Jackie shrugs.

“Thank you Jackie…” Danan says gently. She kneels down next to Jackie and takes his arm, going to tie off a section then carefully draw some of his blood. Once done she spurs back up and smiles, “Okay we’ll go work on this- rest and eat and hopefully we won’t be too long…” she hurries back out.

A moment passes in silence. “Um… Jameson?” Jackie finally says. “I’m sorry for… being like that… earlier. I-I thought you were the Jameson from my world.”

JJ shakes his head. It’s fine, really. I figured it was some like that. And honestly, I might also be a little cold if I met another version of someone who’d really wronged me like that.

“Still. I’m… sorry,” Jackie mumbles. “Schneep’s getting along fine with the Antis.”

“Well ‘Schneep’ is not currently hallucinating,” Schneep says.

Jackie laughs.

Alt and Bro chuckle. “Yeah don’t be so harsh on yourself dude… we’re all just- going through it right now.” Bro smiles weakly.

“It probably helps that we haven’t really met any… of the bad Antis, to be fair.” Alt says quietly.

I can’t even picture a really evil Anti, JJ says.

Schneep laughs darkly. “I’m glad for you, then. The one in my world was… terrible.” He brushes a hand over the tear scars on his face.

Alt shudders and holds his arms, thinking of the evil Antis they’ve met. Evil versions of him… even if he’s getting more used to the idea and that he is different, it still sucks to remember that his face lives in others’ nightmares.

If he was as bad as Distorter from my world, I can imagine, JJ says.

“Who the fuck is that, by the way?” Jackie asks. “You mentioned them before.”

JJ shudders slightly. He is… a being with the ability to mess with people’s minds in all sorts of ways. If he hates you, he tries to kill you—or get you to do it. If he likes you, he tries to make you his “friend.” He used to be human, but… something happened. We’re not sure what. Something to do with the house he lived in, we think. And now he’s… like that.

Jackie’s expression softens. “Sounds fucking awful.”

Bro almost chokes on his water at the mention of Distorter, coughing and having to quickly look away.

Are you alright, Chase? JJ asks, concerned. Drink slowly.

“Y-Yeah I’m good-“ Bro laughs nervously, smiling at JJ. “just- that Distorter guy… he’s just the… worst.”

J sighs. I know. We're working on taking him down back home. Our Anti has an idea... something about confronting him directly.

Bro smiles weakly, “…I believe in you guys. You’re all tough lads. You’ll get him.” 

JJ nods, smiling. Thank you.

Meanwhile, Jackie notices Alt's discomfort, too. "You... okay? I mean... guess it's gotta suck to have someone with your name be so evil." He sighs. "At least you're good, you know? You're doing the best you can." Maybe that isn't fully directed at Alt...

Alt blinks up at Jackie and is quiet for a beat. Then he smiles and nudges Jackie’s tail slightly with his. “yeah… that’s what matters, right? Trying our best.”

Jackie smiles back at Alt. "Yeah. That's what matters. And there are people who can help us try." He nods in Bro's direction.

Alt glances at Bro and then chuckles , “Yeah from what I remember, your boyfriend is a pretty good influence.”

"Shhhhhut." Jackie blushes.

Alt laughs, “I meant it genuinely! …I know mine is a good influence on me… he helped me realize that… strangers can be kind again. But I’m glad he’s gotten you to find a good path.”

 "I-it's a—well, yeah, I—I guess? He's... such a good guy. I-I want to help others the way he's helped me. Maybe... I-I can support my Chase, or something." Jackie pauses. "Oh yeah. Since you guys last visited my world a month ago—for us, time is apparently inconsistent—Chase has... gotten a lot better. He's not fully better, but he's um... recognizably himself again."

Bro and Alt seem delighted to hear this. “oh I’m so glad to hear that! …wild to think that was only a month ago for you though… god I’m not even sure how long it’s been for us.” Bro says. 

“Long enough to consider ourselves multiverse travel experts, I guess.” Alt laughs quietly.

You know, your visit was only a couple weeks ago for me, JJ says.

"Oh, it was a longer time since you've been in my world," Schneep says. "A couple months... a whole season, really." He shakes his head. "Time really is inconsistent between worlds. How strange..."

“That’s… really crazy…” Alt says, shaking his head. “though… guess not too crazy considering… well we’re like 200 years in the future now. I wonder if the rifts have something to do with the time inconsistencies…”

“Probably, if I had to guess,” Bro says with a shrug, “We repeated like- the same couple hours in that one world the Antis saved us from.”

"Time and space are linked," Schneep muses. "If you are to travel to a different 'space' that is a different universe, it makes sense that the 'space' would have its own 'time.' And if these rifts are somehow cracks or tears in space, of course it would affect the time as well. I wonder how your TRVLR device managed to get around that. Perhaps it bases things based on the time of your own space..." He wanders off into some scifi sounding mumblings.

Jackie blinks. "You guys getting any of this?" he whispers to the others.

Bro shakes his head, “nooo fucking clue, bro.”

Alt hums and lightly hugs his tail as he thinks, “…that makes sense I guess. Time was inconsistent in some ways..? Mostly- technically we’d end up maybe a year or so in that part from our time… except once when we ended up in a world that was in 2009. Or- I dunno if I count the medieval would we ended up in either… because that just seemed like- a fantasy world, not going in our own past. Could be the same of here… we have no idea if our earth is the same as their earth. Most of the time though… the time didn’t really matter? So… guess I didn’t think about it. Not unless it was jarring, you know?”

"Hmm." Schneep nods slowly. "Perhaps you were jumping to the relative 'present.' But now there are rifts, and they are a bit less stable, sending you across the time of the space. It really is fascinating. I wonder if you can cause the rifts intentionally... But something like that must take a phenomenal amount of power."

“Hmmm I’ve been wondering about that too…” Alt says, “I’m still unsure if these were caused because the TRVLR broke… or cuz the Anti that tricked us made them. If it’s the latter than… yeah power is the thing. He nearly drained Mag of all his magic to do it. I still don’t get it…” He sighs and lays his head on his tail. “…the TRVLR made me feel like I got how all this worked… but without it I.. I just feel so powerless… I hate it.”

"God, I know how you feel," Jackie mutters. "I mean... the three of us also got sucked through to other worlds, y'know?" He shakes his head. "I think... I think my Anti mentioned something about working on stuff for you, though. He hasn't been around lately, I think cause he's doing that. So, if that helps... there's that."

Alt chuckles a bit and nods, “Yeah… he’s working with Sam to find the TRVLR pieces… they said they got scattered to many different worlds. But They’re an all seeing eyeball so… They’ll find it eventually. I thought we’d be… just stuck for a while though. No more adventures for a bit, you know?” He laughs a bit bitterly. “I guess ‘adventure’ just has a way of finding us.”

“Speaking of which though-“ Bro speaks up, “I’m surprised a rift didn’t just- yank us out of here already. I feel like this is the longest we’ve managed to stay in a world like this…” he shrugs. “Then again all this shit confuses me.”

"Well, you cannot expect something like that to work on a schedule," Schneep says. "They seem to be working at random, like all forces of nature do. Or, perhaps, they will get farther and farther apart. We do not have a way of knowing right now."

“I wish there was more notice a rift was coming beside it just popping up,” Alt grumbles.

“True that~” Bro chuckles. “…think I’m just eager to… uh- have legs back again. This was cool at first but…”

Schneep sighs. "It would be helpful to be in an environment I can use my cane."

At this moment, Dr. Danan and Zara float back in, grinning. “we got the antidote figured out you guys!” Zara says brightly.

Dr. Danan blinks down at the boys and then smiles, “Though it already seems you boys seem to be on the mend, huh?”

Jackie smiles at Danan and Zara. "Hey. I, uh... I-I guess?"

 But as long as that stuff is in you, it's possible that it could happen again, JJ says. So an antidote is welcomed. Thank you. He smiles at them. 

"D'you like... inject it?" Jackie asks.

Danan chuckles, “Yes- like a vaccine. It might linger for a little bit but this should guarantee it’s purged from your system.”  

“Just one more shot and you guys will be right as rain!” Zara smiles.

Bro grins tiredly and holds out his arm, “Sign me the fuck up- forgot how awful feeling sick is.” Zara seems confused by this but swims on over and injects the medicine into his arm and then massages the area. “Might feel a tad bit weird…”

Jackie also holds is arm out for the shot. "I'd love to be right as rain. I don't care how weird it feels."

"I'm sure you will be good soon, Jackie," Schneep says. "You too, Bro, Alt."

Danan chuckles and swims over his Jackie, gently injecting the medicine into his arm too.

Zara helps Alt next and injects him too and Alt glitches a bit in surprise at how it feels. Then, brightens a bit seeing himself glitch a bit easier. “Oh yo??”

Zara looks very surprised though, “uh- is that normal??”

“For him? Yeah.” Bro laughs.

We are all very unusual, remember? JJ says, making another small light show with his magic.

"Except for meeeee," Jackie says, giggling.

"You are still unique, Jackie, don't get yourself down," Schneep says.

"Oh, no, I wasn't getting myself down. I just find it a bit funny." Jackie shrugs. "I mean... it's like how Batman is a seemingly normal human being while the rest of the Justice League all have powers, but he has his own strengths that let him stand with them. I'm the Batman of our group."

Schneep chuckles. "I see."

“That’s a good way to think about it, dude!” Bro laughs.

Dr. Danan swims over to check on Marvin. Seems like having contact with Anti kept most of the hallucinations away but the fever is affecting him which seems to have unnerved him. When Danan approaches Marvin flinches but Anti  quietly reassures him it’s okay. Danan finally is able to inject him and Marvin sighs in relief.

“I’m not sure how long that’ll take to set in but you all are still welcome to rest here- or if you must move on, you can do so as well.” Danan says.

Zara frowns, “…they said they needed to get home though… you guys are.. stuck here right now aren’t you? H-how can we help?”

"Well... it is a bit complicated," Schneep says slowly. "We were just speaking about it, actually. The rifts that took us from our home worlds just sort of... appeared. They may just suddenly appear again."

"We tried to make one on purpose in the last world, but it might've been a coincidence that it showed up when it did," Jackie mutters. "Alt tried to control some alien arch thing... not sure if it worked, it definitely overwhelmed him."

We would like to stay here for now, until we can maybe figure something out, JJ adds.

Danan and Zara exchange wary looks. "Dang yeah... i wouldn't mess with Alien arches... most of them head straight to HQ." Zara says quietly. "Now that they don't have Marvin... they'll probably use those a lot more..."

"You're welcome to stay as long as you need," Danan smiles. "I guess if these...rifts are random- best to get as much rest as you can before they appear."

JJ nods. Thank you. We really appreciate all you've done for us. It would have been hard without your help and space.

"I hope they don't appear in our sleep," Jackie mutters.

"I am not so tired, I can stay awake and, ah... keep an eye out." Schneep chuckles. "I will be able to feel the pull if one starts up."

Danan chuckles, "We're more than happy to help... and you helped Anti so much... it's the least we can do."

"Rest well, guys." Zara says smiling, and she and Danan swim back out.

Alt yawns and flops onto the floor, "...sleep sounds good right now. Even if it feels kinda weird to sleep underwater-"

"..bro don't make me aware of it!" Bro groans, "It's like when someone mentions breathing and then you like- breathe manually- I am now too aware that we're breathing water-"

"Oh no, now I am too!" Jackie groans. "Chase, whyyyy?"

JJ and Schneep laugh.

"Don't pretend like you're not also thinking about it, you two!" Jackie says.

If you want to transition from manual breathing, but can't, think of yourself as monitoring your breathing instead, JJ says. That helps me.

"Hmm. I guess I'll try," Jackie says. He rolls off the medical table and onto the floor as well.

"At least get to the blankets, you two," Schneep says.

Jackie groans again and gets up, swimming over to the pile of blankets.

"No. Floor good." Alt says, flopping onto his face. Bro laughs and goes to help Alt up, "C'mon bro- you'll regret that later." Bro still isn't feeling entirely well enough to pick Alt up so they kinda rest on each other before flopping onto the blankets. Alt blinks and then sinks into them. "...okay nevermind this is better-" Bro just laughs.

Anti watches them from where he's curled around Marvin, curiously flicking his tails. Marvin is caught dozing against Anti's shoulder.

JJ looks over at Anti and Marvin. You two want to join? Or, if you don't, do you at least want some blankets?

Schneep silently separates some blankets from the pile in case Anti says they want some.

"w-we or... well.. I don't usually sleep on those... usually I sleep in a nest..." Anti says quietly.

"..i'm not really sure when the last time I slept is-" Marvin slurs, "Is that why I'm so tired...? I... did they even let me sleep...?" He looks a bit freaked out but Anti hugs him tighter. "You can sleep as long as you need... I'm gonna be right here..."

JJ nods. Take a nice long nap, Marvin. Even if we're gone when you wake up, Anti will still be there for you.

"You do not have to use them, but if you want them, here." Schneep pats the stack of blankets he'd separated out.

Anti is curious though and slowly swims over and grabs the blankets. He hurries over to the corner and makes a nest- piling up against the wall and making a little dip in the middle. He then carries Marvin over. Marvin melts from the softness and easily curls up. Anti smiles and curls up around him.

Good night, JJ says, swimming back over to Jackie, Bro, and Alt and squeezing beneath them.

Schneep smiles and nods, curling up nearby but not quite sleeping.

Alt blinks at JJ squeezing beneath their tails but then laughs tiredly. “Comfy, J?”

JJ nods. The pressure feels good. It must be something about his fish species' instincts. A ghost ray, they said. He doesn't know much about fish, but he knows that stingrays like to bury in the sand. Maybe that's similar.

Schneep chuckles quietly. Jackie doesn't say anything; he's already asleep again.

“Whatever makes you comfortable, dude.” Alt chuckles. Bro grabs Alt and holds him to his side and Alt sighs and lays back, closing his eyes. 

It’s not long before the rest of the boys starts to drift off. 

=========

A few restful hours pass- then… seems like Jackie predicted the rift. Because a black crack starts to form in the center of the floor- water starting to be pulled in.

Schneep perks up. He'd started to doze off, but the sound of the rushing water snaps him awake. "E-everyone!" He gets up, shaking the others awake. "I think it is here!"

JJ immediately snaps awake.

Bro sits up quickly and gasps, holding up Alt. Alt yells in surprise and blinks in sleepy confusion. “T-the fuck is happening??”

Jackie shakes himself up and immediately gasps as he sees the crack in the ground. "A rift!"

Anti startles up and looks out at the others, “A-Are you okay?! What’s going on??”

"There's a rift! There's a rift!" Schneep shouts.

JJ gasps. He wriggles out from underneath the blankets and hurries over to grab their bag of clothing. His eyes dart around and land on the little fish robot. Though it was helpful, it probably wouldn't be as useful in a world that wasn't underwater. This was time to leave it behind, then. JJ took off the gloves and folded them on top, tucking them and the little robot to the side so they won't get sucked in. Thank you, he signs to them. Maybe this world's Jameson could find a use for them once he was free.

"Oh fuck! I guess we're going!" Jackie makes sure to link up with Schneep and JJ.

Anti surges up in the water and looks worried, “T-that’ll get you home then?? It looks… scary-“

"I know, it really does look terrifying," Jackie mutters. "But we've done this before! It's safe!" Or as safe as it can be when they'll end up getting sucked to a strange world.

“T-That’s the hope.” Bro swallows nervously as he links up with Schneep with one arm and holds onto Alt with the others. Alt grabs onto his brother and looks at the others, “I-if we land somewhere different just- take the bracelets off and you’ll go back to normal, okay?”

"Take the bracelets off, got it!" Schneep nods.

“I-I guess this is goodbye, then?” Anti says quietly, “then… t-thank you. Thank you so much for helping me save my brother- for giving me hope again..! I… I won’t forget this.”

Jackie looks at Anti. "Yes. Maybe we'll be back someday. But maybe not."

JJ smiles and nods. "Be safe," he says in his hoarse voice. "And goodbye."

"Hold onto that hope!" Schneep encourages. "I know you will find a way out of this. Goodbye."

"Goodbye!" Jackie adds.

“Thank you for helping us- good luck!” Bro shouts with a smile.

Alt smiles at his other self and nods, “You’ll save them- I know it.”

And then- the pull becomes too strong and the 5 of them are sucked in. The sound of glitching screeches and pixels fill the air as they’re drawn down down down into darkness.

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what

Chapter 15

Masterpost of chapters

When supernaturals speak in their native languages it looks like this

'Emiles an angel!?' Remus hadn't even gotten the chance to flap his arms around before Remy corrected him.

"Was"

Remy leant back against the bed pillow and let their body sink down into the worn out mattress while the other demon bounced up off the bed to pace back and forth. His tail flapped rapidly up and down.

Soooooo' Remus drew out the sign 'How long has..Was E- M- I- L- E- an Angel?'

"Girl are you stupid or dumb!? Since he was born...Duh?"

'Is that why' Remus reached out to poke at Remy's unnaturally bright white hair but they flinched away.

The ceiling fan in the murky hotel room turned on on it's own and let out a low but constant whirring sound just as Remy pinched the bridge of their nose and sighed.

"I think you can put two and two together and not make it into five okay girlie-" They saw Remus start to sign something but interrupted him by placing their hand on top of his knuckles "I don't like enjoy talking bout it. I met Emy in like the 1910's and we were pining fucking idiot friends for like 50 years or something and then we like kissed and made love and Hell and Heaven somehow like INSTANTLY knew and" They motioned for their hair "Happened. Emy's wings got taken. His halo got shattered. My hearing was taken. All that shit. Not a good time!-"

'Then me and Ro-Ro came'

Remy softened into a smile "Yeah....Then you and Roman came"

He let out a silent gasp and flapped his elbows around 'EMILE HAD WINGS!? OF COIRSE HE DID!!! GROSS ANGEL SHIT!!'

"Hey now nothing bout my Emile being gross! The point! The point is like that Hell knew!! The moment me and Emile got together The Knew!! We couldn't run or like hide from being punished! I dunno what line you cross with a human to get punished but girl the second you cross that line-"

'I am already being punished' Remus signed 'Why not keep going against Hell'

Remy smacked their lips together while pointing their finger "You got a point..You got a point" They saw his tail quickly start to wage and added in a haste "But the kind of point that ends up with you like dead!" Remus' tail was still waging "And probs Roman dead too!"

Remus' mouth clammed up and his hands turned stiff.

The older demon moved their long pale tail around his shoulders and leant in to press a kiss to Remus' forehead. They kept their face close to his while continuing to speak.

"If you like this Janus human guy I like sooo totally support you girl but you have got to like figure out a way to have your human and stop The manager from punishing anyone but you for it 'cause girl you've been stalling for 2 fucking months. You can't keep doing this. Roman is not doing good. Either you figure out some way to threaten The Manager into letting you and Roman go or girl I am gonna have to make you go have sex with that human and then kill him! You got it!? Actually I know you got it cause I know you're not totslly fucking braindead!"

He didn't sign any response at first, all he did was blare at them before faltering and signing

'I really like him'

"Yeah duuuh. So you said you...uh..like feed off of him? By just kissing him? And he wasn't even horny or nothing!? Are you sure he wasn't lying? Y'know Humans do have the like brain capability to lie right?"

Remus hadn't even had the chance to talk back when Remy continued while their brow lowered into deep thought.

"We just gotta figure out how you work! Or how your feeding like works or whatevs. We should go out on the street right now and make you make out with some humans"

'Or we can?' Remus signed.

"I'm not a human"

Remus knocked at his brain 'Use the goo up there. Which has better chance of working, kissing you or a random little human?'

"Giiirrrlll, you got a point" Remy sat up on the edge of the bed and took off their sunglasses before waving their hand towards him. In response he pulled his hair because he knew his mustache already always annoyed Remy whenever they cuddled, they didn't need his locs tickling at their skin as well.

All though he honestly did not think it would work he still leant forward right by the bed and let his lips meet the other succubi's. He had seen them kiss Emile plenty of times and no trace of the way Remy acted then was present now, instead they kept their eyes open the entire time waiting to see his expression change in any way.

As the kiss went on he started to imagine eating worms out of boredom and knew it was time to pat Remy on the shoulder to tell them to move back.

"No feeding?"

'Maybe we have to try with tongue' Remus suggested.

"OH Girl NO! I know yOU! You just enjoy the slithering slimy feeling of tongues in your mouth for NASTY reasons!!-"

'I enjoy imagining snakes are climbing into my mouth! Nothing wrong with that!'

"But we're trying to figure out your feeding shit! Not indulge in your weird snake fantasies! You felt nothing?"

'As nothing as the stomach of a starving goat'

Remy let out an annoyed groan and started picking at the flailing paint left on their fingernails.

'I think it is a Janus thing'

"That's exactly what I don't wanna hear girl!" Remus' tail sunk down and hung unmoving down to the floor but Remy didn't notice as they checked the time "Ugh I better get back to Hell. I just like- I don't know what else to do to like help you! If there's something I can do tell me!"

He shrugged.

Remy switched to signing 'I want to help you and I get that you like Janus but hes just a human! Hes fleeting! I know youve only been alive for like a totalllly short time but trust me hes gonna be gone in like a second! I think you should like enjoy your time with him and fuck him and kill him and get this over with, and then I, Emy and Roman can help you find another human that you will feed off of! he can even be british! And named Janus! We will figure out how you work okay!? We won't leave you in the dust girlie'

They glanced to the clock on the wall that was behind by a few minutes and stood up from the bed. They pressed their finger against Remus' chest as they repeated.

'You just gotta kill him'

'If I kill him I have to go back to those mind melting boring meetings' Remus cracked up into a toothy smile.

'Dont joke about that shit right now. You are coming back to Hell'

'So I can hear Roman brag about how many more humans hes gotten over me'

Remy sent him a look before in silence putting their shoes and jacket on. They leant towards the hallway mirror and checked their hair while saying.

"I paid for the room for like a few more nights if you don't wanna stay overnight at that like library anymore. But only a few more nights. Y'know what you gotta do girl"

Remus left them space by the door and listened to them recite the phrase needed to open the door to hell that he could no longer say. The door creaked open and both of the demons glanced at each other as the stark white hallways of Hell became clear.

"It's worth a try" They said gently.

He wordleesly agreed and reached his hand out over the threshold, over into hell. But his fingers were stopped by somemthing unseen. It was as if a glass wall was holding out. No matter how he tried to budge or poke or punch he couldn't move over the threshold.

Without any struggle Remy moved their foot across the treshold but before fully walking through they pulled him into a quick hug before signing.

'Youve thought about it right? Youre stuck on Earth. Romans stuck in Hell. He hasnt feed in 2 months'

The door swung closed as soon as they had stepped through and Remus was left standing in the murky hotel room. The first thought he got was that it was damn right Roman hadn't gotten to feed in 2 months. He hadnt gotten to feed properly his whole life! Why shouldnt she feel the same hunger he has!

But, and he took a few steps back to sit on the bed and pulled his tail close to his chest, he knew logically that eating the minimum amount to keep him going wasn't the same as complete and total starvation for two months.

If he had to starve for 2 months he would cease to exist after a few weeks, he knew that. He knew how the body decayed. Starting with the organs taking from the fat until it shifted to the brain eating off the organs until the heart started to erode the brain away in a last ditch attempt to find nutrients. Until his body stopped just like the clock on the hotel room that went a few seconds further behind every day until it would eventually stop.

He didn't even have any body fat to keep himself alive from so his organs would erode almost immediately. Roman had always been more plump than him but even then he had to imagine 2 months would...what kind of damage....

Remus shook his head around and forced himself to keep reapeting the images of rotting flesh and decaying meat in his mind. He tore away pages from the notepad left on the nightstand and found a pencil in some drawer before hunkering down on the floor and beginning to calculate how long the body of a demon could last when starved.

--

For the entire lesson with Logan all Remus could focus on was the clock on the wall ticking away slowly as Logan turned one page of his book after the other.

The pen in Remus' hand broke between his fingers and he jumped in his seat. His tail moved up to rub his horns to soothe himself and it was enough for Logan to glance up from his book.

"Is everything going well with Janus?" He spoke in English to help the younger demon learn it faster.

Remus dragged his fingers through his hair while shrugging. One of his fingers got stuck in a piece of gum that had burrowed down near his scalp.

"I would kindly like to remind you that I requested that you would inform me after you had seduced the human so we could converge and discuss before you kill him. Do you remember that?"

The demon was half zoned out and busy chewing at his hair while he nodded.

"Good. it's very important" Logan's eyes got drawn back to his book but when he saw the demon choking and spitting up a clump of his own hair he sighed and asked "Is something bothering you?"

Remus took his notepad and wrote 'Im worrying bout my brother'

"Your brother" His eyebrow raised slightly along with the inflection of his voice. His eyes darted away for just a second before he pretended to cough "Yes, Of course, You're brother. I see"

The succubi began to write down 'Can I leave? Me and Janus-' But he didn't have time to finish before Logan continued.

"You must be aware that even if you kill Janus you will not get your voice back, are you not? You ate a human and got Punished for it. No matter what you do that will not be reversed"

Another string of hair got stuck between his teeth. He nodded. In his head he corrected 'Parts of a human'. That damn human probably didn't even die from it.

"And I am not sure if it is the same for your brother or not"

If Remus didn't know better he would think Logan was trying to convince him not to go through with the murder. The older demon leant back in his seat and clasped his hands together.

"Have you thought about why you were asked to kill janus?"

'Becuase Jan is smart. Hell wants to make sure he is on our side because his brain is so big and strong and good' He scribbled out.

"There are a lot of smart humans, Remus, not all of them are ordered to be killed" He mindleesly ran his finger against his wedding ring "Would you like to hear my theory?"

He nodded.

"I believe that Janus was picked completely at random. You were behaving poorly before you got sent to earth, correct? You weren't meeting the averages?"

Remus grimaced but nodded.

"I think the higher ups simply wanted to see if they could make you do as told. In this case I suppose they are levearing your brother against you. The human happened to be the one who was picked"

He sunk in on himself 'Why couldnt they have picked a more boring human. Why did it have to be janus'

--

"Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it" Virgil's leg was bouncing up and down so fast his that phone screen became nothing more than a shaky blur as his fingers continued nevertheless to tap at it.

At nearly the exact same time Remus knocked at the apartment door to Virgil' and Janus' apartment. Even through the door he could hear frantic breathing and gentle shushes but the sounds were quickly hushed as soon as he knocked. It took another minute or two of waiting by the closed door before he heard Janus' voice yelling.

"The door is open!"

Remus decided the best course of action was to headbutt the door open and as he slammed his way in while laughing he saw Janus and Virgil sitting close together on the couch with Jan having put Virgil's hand against his neck.

The emo was wearing overalls that were unlike his usual dark attire and when he saw the demon he quickly rubbed his palms over his eyes to wipe away any tear stains.

"I gotta go" He mumbled at the same time he got to get his jacket and bag.

"Want me to save some leftove-"

"I'll eat at work"

"Break several legs" Janus waved Virgil off as he stormed past the demon and closed the door behind him. Storming here refering to how he was as moody as a cloud on the horizon.

"Did he get another pole stuck up his ass" Remus let his tail trail behind him on the floor as he went up to lean his arms on the couch.

Janus in turn moved closer on the couch so he could rest his head against the demon's forearm "I don't think he ever quite got the first one unstuck. It was just a close to anxiety attack. Him not getting a full blown attack is good. Also he has the night shift so we totally won't be alone for the enttiiirreee night darling"

"except for the ghosts"

"Of course"

Remus let his head fall down against Janus' and he kissed the skin between his dread locs "Why do you two do that weird neck thing by the way?" He mimicked the way Virgil held his fingers against Jan's neck.

"Oh that? It's an ancient ritual meant to keep Vivzie from turning into a sleeper agent" He said sarcastically "But really it's just a way to relieve his anxiety. Viv got this strange fixation on thinking I will die at any and all moments and feeling my pulse helps him"

"The dead birds don't help with the whole fear of death thing, huh"

"Those have actually lessened ever since I met you. I think you smeal so bastardly that no birds or animals even want to die in the vicinity of you"

Remus squinted "Glad to be of help?"

Janus lightly tugged at his mustache "Won't you sit down"

The demon complied by rolling over the couch seats and falling flat with his head right into Janus' lap. He spun around so he could look into the human's dark brown eyes.

"Though I do imagine the fact that I was near death once right before Vivzie met me couldn't have helped either. I totally don't ever worry that Viv befriending me so soon after the car crash did some irreperable sort of damage in his psyche and gave him an anxiety disorder. Totally not. Never ever do I worry about that. It might be hard to belive but this" He motioned for the scarred half of his face "Is how I look after years of healing. I looked like a bloody slasher villain as a kid-"

"WHAT!?" Remus' eyes went huge "YOU USED TO LOOK EVEN COOLER!?"

Janus couldn't hold back a snort "Sure dear. Want to see the pictures?"

"YOU HAVE BABY PICTURES!?!?!"

"Well more like kid pictures....Actually not that many. Adoption facilities don't actually take that many photos for fun believe it or not. No one is getting paid enough for that. But I believe we have some school photos"

The demon laid on the couch as his babe went and rummaged around forgotten boxes to try and find the yearbooks. As he waited he noticed the fake cobwebs hanging on the wall and since the humans hadn't moved in that long ago it couldn't have been a forgotten halloween decoration. That must have just been Virgil's idea of home decor.

"Thought I was flogging a dead horse there for a minute" Janus muttered as he came back

"CAN I SEE THE HORSE? PLEASE!"

He remembered his date wasn't british and waved it off "I found the yearbook"

He made the demon make place for him on the couch and smiled when Remus instantly threw his arm around him. His tail was wagging so fast it nearly made the couch shake.

"This is from Year 1 I believe" The photo showed a class of tiny 5 year olds all wearing similar uniforms. It didn't take the demon long to recognise Janus, he stood out not only as one of the only two black students but also because of the bandages covering half of his face.

He flipped the page to the photo from Year 2 and it was nearly the same class, still with Janus standing out just as much. The half of his face now looked like a raw wound, giving off a pulsating deep red.

"I knew it! You did look cool!"

"I looked like a James Bond villain"

"Nothing wrong with that!...I think....Don't know who that Bames Jond is. And" Remus smiled "You were so tiny. Like- Like a tiny little...Little human..I never got that"

Janus didn't say anything, he simply pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek and burrowed himself closer to his date. (He assumed silently Remus meant he had had to grow up quickly)

Not that he had literally been created as an instant adult. Not that Remus had ever missed or even thought about what it would have been like to be a child. But seeing Janus so small, with untied laces, band-aids on his knees and round plump cheeks, made him imagine it.

"Do you think we would have been friends if we knew each other as small humans?"

"Oh certaintly darling. I think you would have been my lovely henchman on the playground"

"That sounds nice.."

In the photo a blond tuff of hair was barely visible behind Janus and when he showed the photo from Year 3 that blonde hair was still sticking up along with the eye of a student that was hiding behind him.

"Who's that? A Ghost?"

"Vivzie"

Remus scoffed "But that ghost is blond!! Virgin has his stupid black bangs!"

"Yes because those are definitely real"

When the demon continued to stare at him with a confused look he added.

"He dyes his hair"

"His hair dies? Like a cancer person? Did it regrow as black like a lizard tail?"

He took it as a joke and laughed lightly "Yes exactly. That is also how half of my locs became brown and I presume how your friend's hair turned bright white"

The information slowly sunk in. Remus had always assumed humans with colorful hair must have been born that way (human biology was strange) or maybe their hair changed when they got Punished just like theirs did. maybe that was why he saw so many medium sized humans (teens) with colored hair, because they got Punished by being put into the ground or being detained.

He grabbed his human by the arm and shook him around "I WANT THAT!"

"Right now?"

"RIGHT NOW!! BEFORE THE EARTH IMPLODES! BY METEROITE!"

"But I was thinking of opening up some wine and getting cozy.." He pretended to wipe away a tear.

Remus leant in and kissed him briefly, which made Janus let out a highed pitched sound "Later. Hair first. Now where can we find these hair dying stuff?"

"Darling we should really have a discussion on whether we kiss suddenly or after asking because" He was fanning himself "That was sudden. And to answer your question, the store"

"LETS GO! LETS GO!"

-

"I think i would like some white this time, Then if I braid my locs I will look like a chess board!"

"Great camoflauge..For when the zombies come. I think I want hmm-"

"Allow me to guess. Hmm, I see no other option for you than...red"

Remus gasped "NO! NOT STUPID RED! Green obviously! Pretty nice gorgeous puke green!"

"I know dear, I know"

The worker behind the delicatessen was lining up a cut of meat and brought out a butchers knife. Remus' eyes fixated on the knife as it sliced down right through the middle of the meat, splitting it in two. He imagine Janus' head laying there instead. Imagined his blade cutting down into-

He shook his head and leant down to place his arm around his human's waist and whispered "Wanna shoplift?"

Janus rolled his eyes before smirking "I'll be the distraction" He murmured into his ear, so close his hot breathe touched against his skin.

All the human had to do was walk within eye distance of the cashier while pretending to take a closer peek at the candy display and the worker instantly tried to not so subtly stare at his scarred skin grafts. Meanwhile the demon used his tail to move one can of hair dye under his shirt after the other.

For good measure he let his horns flash such bright red the store lights began to flicker before he took Janus' hand in his and rushed out of the store. He speed up on the street until he fully took off into a run still with his human right behind him. he squeezed his hand and got the urge to use his wings to show him the sky above-

But that was Angel shit.

Remus stopped in his tracks and saw a bird crash into the store window on the other side of the street. It fell to the ground and it's wings continued to flail for a few more seconds before it's small body went completely still.

He heard Janus laugh while catching his breathe and let his eyes go from the dead bird.

"Kith?" He asked and as soon as Jan even started to nod he was already pulling him into an embrace to kiss him.

He closed his eyes and focused on the new warm sensation of feeding. He felt Janus' hands grab ahold of the back of his tanktop and twist the fabric around the tips of his fingers.

It tasted like a delicious dinner. Like a finely made stea- The butchers knife flashed before Remus eyes and he took a step back. "Wanna uhh wanna get to the dying?- The dying of hair?"

Janus took his hand again and nodded "That was fun! Vivzie never lets me shoplift. He thinks the pigs will get me for a single stolen egg"

-

"That's goopy!"

"Stop moving or your face is going to be green as well"

"Like an alien!"

Remus sat only in his undies and his choker on the bathroom floor with Janus right behind him. The human was wearing plastic gloves and slowly massaging in the green dye down to his scalp. So far he had had to pull out several leaves, a dead worm and a full chicken wing bone from his hair.

"Want to hear about this uhh like psychological study I read about recently!? It's fucked uP!"

"Sure"

Janus let Remus go on for 5 entire minutes about the standford prison experiment while listening like he hadn't heard about it many times before just because Remus was flapping his hands around so happily while ranting about it.

"And then they had to end it at Day 6 already!"

"Crazzyyy" Janus said in his snarky tone "You've heard of the Milgram experiment?"

The demon turned his head so quickly he nearly got dye all over his nose "NO! What's it about!?"

"How about you go and look that up while I dye my hair"

"But I wanna help"

Janus rolled his eyes "I won't risk my beloved sweater to dye my hair. I am Going to have to undress upwards at least and I'm not sure-"

"Were you planning on wearing a shirt if we fucked?"

"I- Well- I hadn't planned that far" Remus giggled "Don't laugh! You Bloody skunk muppet! I'm going to dye your mustache green too! You will be walking around looking like a leprechaun!"

Remus gasped and covered his mustache with his hands "You wouldn't!"

"I sure would!"

His giggle attack stopped and he tried to look more serious "But if you're not comfy I will go and entertain myself I guess. I can look through the Virgin's garbage and find blackmail dirt on him!"

"Thanks" Janus' eyes flickered back and forth across the tiled floor as his date began to move to stand up "No- But- But you might just have a tiny miniscule point somewhere. I mean. It's not that I don't feel comfortable with you here it is just. It's totally not like I have meber been so close to anyone but Viv before and it doesn't make me nervous in the slightest. I don't think anyone besides him and my doctors have even seen me shirtless"

"I can stand in the corner like Blair Witch! No seeing unless you tell me you're okey with it!" Remus suggested.

"Dear that sounds like a lovely plan"

The demon gave him a cheery smile before standing up and turning his back around so all he saw was the washing cabinet. He heard his human move about to drag his shirt off but zoned out from it when he noticed if he looked a bit sideways he could see himself in the mirror.

He had nearly forgotten about the white streak right at the forefront of his hair until now. Even as Janus had put the dye into every part of his hair that white streak still stayed. The rest was a nearly neon green. Except that.

He wondered if Roman had it too-

"I think you can turn around"

Janus interrupted his train of thought and he blubbered out some nonsense string of words while turning around. The first thing he noticed was that his human had put all of his black dreadlocs up into a bun while the dyed brown ones stayed hanging down to his shoulders.

"Oh your hair! So cute! Makes me wanna gnaw on it!"

He snickered "Darling I love how that is what you notice first"

"Oh! Right" He moved his eyes down to Janus' chest and blurted out "That's it?"

"What? Disappointed I don't have D cups"

"You were hyping it up so much I thought you had like a secret robot arm or like a third nipple! That's just" He sat down next to Jan on the floor and put his hand against his chest "More of you"

He noticed there was a slight color difference between the skin on his right arm and rest of him. It wasn't like the scars on his face but there were patches of slightly lighter brown along with bumps here and there.

Jan noticed where his eyes were going and explained "It's easier to graft skin onto arms than onto a face"

"It's so hot. I love your skin and grafts and jiggly titties" He smacked one of them lightly "And- And tummy and your human uneven skin and you not having horns and your lighting bolt scar strech thingies and the hair right here" he touched along Jan's happy trail "And you're so hot!"

"I hear that every day" He said sarcastically to try and downplay his blushing. Ideally he wouldn't have people comment on his scars or grafts at all but having someone gush over them was certaintly a nice change of pace.

Remus moved in for a kiss but Janus held up his hand so the kiss landed squarely into his palm.

"Nuh-uh darling. You will get green all over me. Patience patience"

The demon sulked beside him as he put white dye on the locs that had previously been dyed brown. A consistent thumping noise went on for several minutes.

"Do you also hear that or has the goverment implanted something in me" Jan snarked.

"Must be rats fucking in the walls" Remus replied, knowing fully well it was him smacking his tail into the floor out of impatience. His stomach was growling.

"There!" The dye had all been splattered on "Now I believe we must wait at least 30 minutes to let the color sink in before we rinse it off. Feel like watching something spooky or campy? Or both"

The demon rubbed the tip of his nose against the other man's "I wanna watch medical docs and make out!"

"Paattience darling"

Janus put on a murder mystery show and pulled out an entire notebook to note the evidence for who he thought the murderer was. Usually he wrote down Remus' comments as well but the only thing the demon could focus on was him.

His eyes were etched into the human's soft dark skin, at the vein barely visible along his neck.

Something cold slipped down his lip and he realized he was drooling.

"Stop giving me those puppy eyes" Janus said as he slipped his finger under his date's choker to pull his face close.

Remus met his kiss like a dying man in the desert met water. He clammered his hands around the nape of Jan's neck to hold him even closer.

He kissed so hard that Jan fell over on the couch and laughed against his lips. Remus moved his legs on either side of his stomach and leant his chest down against the human's to keep making out.

It was as if for the first time in his life he felt level headed from finally eating enough.

Even when Janus panted and pulled away to catch his breathe Remus kept littering kisses against his neck, down to his shoulder and chest. Until his human pulled at his hair and he went back up to kiss his lips.

"Good boy" Jan murmured.

His horns began to grow brighter and brighter as he feasted. His heart beated faster and his blood ran hotter. He felt the sensation of his organs pumping through the new energy at the same time as he felt the sensation of Janus' plump wet lips and his just as wet slippery slithering tongue and he-

"OW!"

Janus pushed him away and pinned himself to the corner of the couch while holding his hands over his lips.

The demon reached out his hands but they stayed hovering in the air "Wh-what?"

"You bloody bit me!"

He moved his hand aside and a wound, small but still clear as day, could be seen on his bottom lip. A piece of skin had been ripped off and Remus realized the skin now was stuck between his teeth.

It tasted delicious.

A few droplets of blood slid down to his chin and Remus was quick to lick it up "I'm sorry"

"Just- just warn beforehand. I know you're freaky and all that but I've barely even thought about kinks, we can't jump into biting immediately. Definitely not letting you give me head today though if you're in such a bitey mood" The alarm on his phone went off indicating it had gone 30 minutes "I'll go rinse my hair first. It takes ages for my locs to dry anyway"

Remus parsed his lips and knew he was supposed to say something flirtatious. Maybe ask for them to shower together. Maybe ask if he should help. Maybe kiss him again.

But his mouth clamped shut. He desperately wanted to hold onto the taste of Janus. He didn't want that putrid taste of Lust to permiate down his throat and ruin it.

The butcher's knife flashed before his eyes. The bird flying into the window. The tv was still on in the background, the detective was revealing that the culprit was a woman who had murdered her own twin.

Janus left to go to the bathroom and the demon stayed behind with his toes dangling off the edge of the couch. He picked at his skin until it started to scab.

He turned his head to the kitchen cabinet in the corner of the living room and with his eyes blurry from being zoned out he got up and took quiet steps towards it. His tail reached out and grabbed the largest knife and dropped it in his hands.

He pressed his ear to the door and heard that the water was still running as he touched the doorknob and realized that the door wasn't locked.

Just as he turned the knob the water stopped and he froze.

A few more seconds passed before the door opened right to his face and Janus stepped through with a bathrobe wrapped around himself.

The human looked up at him with a surprised look before his eyes darted to the knife in Remus' hand and he flinched back.

Remus' eyes darted to it as well as if he was surprised he was even holding it.

"Can- Can you help me cut my hair" He sputtered out and held the knife out towards Janus.

Janus relaxed and carefully touched his finger against the tip of the knife to lower it "Honey usually people use scissors for that. besides you still have to rinse your hair before that"

He stayed standing in the doorway with his eyes wide open and without saying anything for long enough that Janus had to ask.

"Dear, Are you feeling okay?"

"Remy- My friend Remy said my brother's...Not doing good"

"I see. Viv alos cuts his hair when he's having a hard time" Janus lightly pinched Remus' stomach "I'm glad having Remy over made you eat a bit more at least"

Remus looked down and realized his stomach was actually fuller than usual, his fingers even looked less skeletal and when he brought his hand up to scratch under his eye he felt his cheekbone less than normal.

The human took the knife out of his hands and instead brought his hand to Remus' back to guide him closer to the shower "I'll go and grab the scissors while you shower"

The demon nodded and immediately pulled off his underwear to which he could Janus actually let out a screech of surprise. He put his hand over his heart while overly dramatically fanning himself with the other.

"Okay! Apparently I will go and grab some sunglasses as well so you won't have any idea what I'm staring at!"

He closed the door behind him but Remus could still hear him continue to babble to himself through the wall.

-

"Does this please you my liege?" Janus held up the mirror so Remus could see himself.

He had trimmed Remus' hair so it was less like an entire myrcelium network growing out of his scalp and more like just an overenergetic afro....Well now that it was dyed a bright green it did look sort of like a radioactive bush.

"Yeah yeah sure it looks gereat" Remus replied, he had already began chewing at his hair again.

"I think you're hair is about 3C, want me to braid it? Give you box braids? Moon puffs? Vivzie's hair is so straight, he does let me braid it if I want to but he just ends up looking like Adele at coachella"

Remus moved to lay his head aginst his human's chest and snaked his hands around his arm "I just don't want this day to end" He mumbled into the fluff of the bathrobe.

"Well you'll be sleeping here, won't you? it's defnitely not like we can cuddle for as long as you want, not a chance that that is a possibility"

"Mhm...I'd like that"

Janus had a hard time even making Remus latch off of him for long enough so he could change into his nightgown (the demon stayed in his undies). They reheated some peasoup Virgil had made earlier that day and Remus kept snickering under his breathe about eating 'Pee soup'. They played 3 rounds of Clue and 2 of the Murder she wrote boardgame and Jan won every one because the demon was only preoccupied with coming up with the most elaborate murder ways.

The sun had gone down and so had the blinds on the windows when Janus yawned and rolled into the bottom bunk bed so that he was closest to the wall. He patted the place beside him while eyeing the demon.

Remus let out a happy screech while climbing down under the cover next to his human. He poked at his feet with his toes and moved closer to rest his face against Jan's warm chest. He could hear his steady heartbeat and all he could think about was the layer of skin followed by blood followed by tissue followed by fat followed by muscle followed by meat and finally bone, And how easy it would be to cut through all of it.

"Darling?"

"Mhm?" He shook his head around to get the thoughts out.

Janus twirled a loc of Remus' hair around his finger while letting his leg intertwine with his "I've been thinking.....We have gone on several dates, you eat dinner with me at my home quite regularly and we've kissed. We've even...well I've never been this intimate with someone. I would...It's totally not like I would want us to clarify what type of relationship we're in or anything"

The demon thought for a moment before tilting his head up to meet his eyes "I love you. Does that work as answer?"

"Well preferably a bit more detailed than that"

"I really love you! Like you could wear a pint of my blood around my neck! Or eat a bit of my flesh! That would be so romantic!"

"Oh it would!" He smiled as Remus kissed him and that same smile stayed as he quietly asked, nearly whispered to him "Would calling you my boyfriend work?"

Remus' tail instantly stood up and his horns turned a stop light red "I've never had one of those"

"I've had thousssands of them. They just keep appearing. Under my bed, in my cereal, crawling out of my tv" He went extra snarky when he was anxious.

"I think that could be nice. Being boyfriends. More than nice! Mega ultra cool!"

"Really?"

He nodded and Janus leant in to kiss him again. The demon felt the human excitedly kick his legs as he did so.

"Well then. I never imagined I would get a boyfriend this soon! Obviously I knew it would happen eventually since I am a snack! But already, Oh dear! See you tomorrow my darling boyfriend" He kissed the tip of his nose before snuggling further down under the cover "Good night"

"Good night. Tomorrow we can make pancakes and shape them into lil monsters"

"Sounds good" Jan mumbled, sleepyness slowly taking over his voice.

"And I can show you this horror film, it's not too gory, and I can cuddle you when it gets too scary"

"Mhmm"

"And then we can go to the park and I can chase dogs around while you drink bubble tea"

"Mhm..........."

Deep snores started to come from Janus and for a while Remus simply laid there and watched his chest slowly rise and fall. A bit of drool fell down his cheek and the demon reached out to wipe it away with his thumb, no reaction came. He was fully asleep.

Remus sat up slightly in the bed and took a deep breathe.

He had helped him shoplift. He'd made out with him. He'd been close to being intimate with him. Surely it had to count.

Surely Hell would accept it. He just had to-

He just had to protect Roman.

Humans die quick anyway.

He just had to keep the memory of how feeding off of Janus' felt close to his heart.

He just had to-

Remus picked up his pillow and pressed it against his boyfriend's face.

At first there didn't come any reaction. It wasn't until he pressed harder that the snoring stopped and got replaced with more labored breathing.

He didn't let up. He watched as his boyfriend still deep in slumber unconciously reached out a hand to try and move whatever was suffocating him away, but his hand simply fell down to his side again.

Only a few seconds more and-

A knife suddenly got pressed against Remus' neck.

"Move the hell away from him!" Virgil whispered into his ear.

The demon stayed still but that made the knife get pressed harder against his skin to the point that blood started to simmer out.

"NOW!"

[justplainwhump]

No.

This is a jump into the future for Angel's and much more so for Tyler's story. There will be a lot more coming about his very current situation, fear not - but after him thinking about 238's forgiveness, this piece demanded to be written, and I'm not going to let it catch dust in my drafts. So here you go.

Angel Masterpost | Tyler Masterpost

Tyler and Angel meet again.

Content / warning: BBU setting (but far in recovery), BBU recovery, implied past noncon / dubcon and short but frank discussion of it, conditioning and the struggle to get out of it, former whumper trying to work on redemption. Also includes minor spoilers for Tyler's story, which I deem in no way relevant to the potential enjoyment of it, but still mention here anyway.

Some years later

Tyler had never thought he'd be able to find her again. Despite all efforts, not only by him, by an entire network of people, it had seemed like after the death of her owner, 002238 had ceased to exist. 

It had been more than a year since Tyler had come out of jail; two months, since Tara had finished filming her documentary. A bit more since she'd identified and contacted Danielle Hammond's father, who had financed the search for her with huge amounts of money and resources.  

It had been Tyler who finally found her, though. And on a hunch, he hadn't shared this with Tara and the others right away. He would - of course he would, but he wanted to talk to 238 first. 

So he'd approached her, just out there on the street, and she'd simply stared at him, from these dark brown eyes that followed him in his dreams and nightmares, held his gaze for long seconds, and then calmly suggested to get lunch.

And now here they were, Tyler and 238, sitting in a booth of a crowded deli, two young people in their late twenties, nothing unusual to spot for any onlooker. 238 looked good, confident and a bit distanced, in a way that only added to her stunning charisma.

She held the paper cup with fresh orange juice on the table in front of her, clutching it with both hands. A barrier between them. 

Tyler swallowed, staring down at it. He'd have punished her for that. Before.

She followed his gaze, and her fingers twitched, as if he'd actually done it, for the fraction of a second, before she settled them again. "Speak," she said. Her voice was a little raspy, less focused on smoothness than when he'd last heard her. Commanding, almost.

Tyler had thought about this moment for years. Every single night since he'd left WRU he had imagined finding 238 and talking to her. In the beginning, in these fantasies he'd been saving her from her owner. He'd show up at his doorstep, just buy her off his hands, whatever the price, and then he'd invest everything he'd ever learned to reverse her conditioning. He'd work and work and work, until he'd earn her forgiveness and his own. Later, when he'd learned about the asshole's death, he'd rescue her from the streets, find a safe place for her, help her get back on her feet. He was here for something else, now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I… Angel, Danielle, fuck, I… I don't even know what to call you, really, I-"

"Angel," she said, very briskly. She didn't hide the pained blink of her eyes at the other name. The one he'd made her forget. Fuck. He wasn't off to a good start. "I kept it. Better than a number."

238, he thought, peering at her wrist. There was nothing there, perfect soft skin, encircled by a thin silver bracelet. It looked like a gift. He wondered who got it for her. He hated himself for wanting to know.

He hated himself for everything about this, suddenly.

"Why are you here, Handler Parker?"

He shivered and shook his head. "I… I'm not a handler any more. I left WRU, I went to jail, I… I'm not that man any longer. I... I regret everything. So much. I have been horrible. I've done horrible things. And I want to-"

"No." 238's face hardened. She was pale under her freckles - had it been him or had she looked like that when they entered the deli? "No, handler."

"I-" he stammered. "Hear me-"

"No." She raised her chin. "Do you…" Her voice trembled. "Do you even understand how hard it is for me to say this word, Handler Parker? Even now? After so many years? You should, shouldn't you? Because it's been you, who tortured it out of my vocabulary. Do you know how often I… how often I wanted to, but I didn't even know what it was that I wanted, because there was just nothing? Just a fucking void, where a voice should've been. I know everything would've happened anyway, because that's just what it is, but… do you have an idea what it means to just silently accept everything? I got out of the facility, I got out of my owner's house, I got out of the system, but I… I still can't properly say it." She swallowed. "No. No, Handler. I will not forgive you for what you've done. I don't care how you have changed. Because you know what that won't change? Me. I…" She blinked, and only now did Tyler realize the tears in the corners of her eyes. "I have to physically fight my urge to get out of this seat, in the… the most seductive way possible, and to get under this table, get on my knees, right between your legs, and play with your zipper and just…" Her jaw clenched. "I hate sex. I hate cocks. I hate you. And right now I still want nothing as much as your stupid cock in me and your voice calling me a good girl."

She got to her feet and slammed a bill on the table. "Fuck you, Sir. Find your absolution somewhere else. You're not getting it here."

"I…" Tyler struggled. "Wait. I… I want to go to Court."

She stopped in her tracks, raised an eyebrow, staring down at him in fury and confusion. "What?"

"Sue WRU," he said, words just tumbling from his lips. "You didn't sign up for it. I know it." You signed up for this, his own voice rang in his ears. Repeat after me. He shook his head. "You were kidnapped and tortured and... I… I will testify. I have files, I have names, I… I have memories. Sue me. Sue WRU." He pulled a business card from his pocket with trembling fingers. "This is my lawyer. Please. You can… We can… I can't make things right, but maybe there's a chance at… changing others' fates."

238 slowly took the card, looked at it and then back at him, with a breathless chuckle. "What tells me you're not cashing in a reward for bringing in a runaway pet?"

Tyler loosened his leather bracelet, before turned his own wrist towards her. The bars were still stark black against his skin, ink dark as on the first day.

She shook her head in disbelief. "You're… you're not…"

"I was never on the Drip. I didn't forget anything. But I… I have seen WRU, from all perspectives possible. I want them to go down. I know I'll be the first to be locked up for the things that I did to you, I don't care - but this case, your case, it's strong enough that I wouldn't be the last." 

He pulled the bracelet over his wrist again, before he pointed at the business card in her hand. "Sue WRU."

She swallowed. "I'll think about it," she whispered, before she closed her hands around the card and buried it in her pocket, voice dropping even further. "Fuck you anyway."

[sportswriters]

kiss at midnight - a. ramsdale | part 1

1. burnt pancakes | wc: 1,096 | masterpost | next part

“what are you doing?”

the smell of something almost burning catches your attention and you walk into the kitchen, while your friends are still in the pool, having fun at some game you don't quite understand.

you missed your friend, noticing his absence as soon as he left and when you smelled something different, you knew it was him. the goalkeeper was on the other side of the counter, with a grimace on his face and raised his head to look at you, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“i  was trying to make pancakes, but it didn't work out,” he says in response.

you laugh at his failed attempt and look at the burnt pancake batter and he's right, it didn't work very well. the smell didn't help either. he sighs again and you move closer to see if you can salvage anything and stop next to him.

“were you craving pancakes?” you joke.

he nudges your waist slightly, making you arch a little. he holds out the pan for you to check, but there was nothing to save and the countertop is a mess from his unsuccessful attempt.

“no, that's because of you,” he replies, thoughtfully. “i heard you tell jenna that you wanted to eat pancakes with strawberry jam, but... didn't do very well.”

you look at him with a mixture of feelings that you can't decipher. you and aaron had been friends for some time. you were introduced by mutual friends, the same ones who were at the pool and who organized this end-of-year trip to celebrate the new year together.

you hit it off instantly, a friendship that evolved very quickly to the part where you had sex causally, without anything serious. he lived in hampshire and you lived in nottingham, you didn't get to see each other all the time, but for two people who lived in such opposite cities, you managed to see each other often.

“aaron,” you snort. “it's impossible to hate you like this.”

he frowns, his expression a complete mixture of confusion.

“i'm sorry, were you trying to hate me?”

you lick your lips, turning your body forward and your back to the countertop, leaning on the marble thing, your face turned to face him. then you cross your arms.

“did you notice that seth's new friend was hitting on you?”

aaron's face softens, but there's still a flicker of confusion, not quite understanding what you're getting at with that question.

“abbie?”

“wow, you're already calling her by her nickname?” you sound sarcastic, one eyebrow arched.

your body was still dripping from the water in the pool and all you were wearing was the pink bikini that matched your skin tone, he was wearing just a pair of blue swimming trunks.

“is that jealousy i hear in your voice?” he teases, his light eyes twinkling with amusement.

“what? no!” you push him with your shoulder, your face in an indignant expression. “we're just friends. i just thought she hit on you too blatantly.”

“i wasn't paying attention.”

you roll your eyes at his response.

“aaron, you're not such an idiot,” you say.

you stand with your arms folded around your breasts and he drops the pan on the stove, moving slightly closer to you. his body stops right in front of you.

“i'm serious, i haven't been paying attention. haven't you realized that whenever you're in my field of vision, all i see is you?” he retorts, his voice soft and calm.

fighting with aaron was impossible. like, you never really argued, at all. that blond man who defended the team from conceding goals always found a way to say those words. with no room for an elevated argument, he won before he even started.

however, you try to disguise how affected you are and subtly swallow, trying to say something, anything, other than responding directly to what he has just said.

“she was covering your field of vision. you weren't seeing me.”

but then he just laughs. he comes closer to you, brushing his nose across yours, because that's what intimacy does. it gives the other person freedom to do anything like that. things that set your heart racing in a very ridiculous way. 

“i see you all the time,” he says. “it's you who can't see anything.”

he doesn’t give you time to answer anything. the caress on your nose evolves into the moment when he presses his mouth to yours, in a kiss that starts out slow, soft and more intimate than usual.

it's not the first time he's kissed you like this. when you first got involved, things used to be a bit more separate, but you soon realized that aaron didn't know how to separate anything. not that that was a bad thing, it was more that everything for him was also entirely emotional.

yes, you had sex casually, but he insisted for you to spend the night and never leave so immediately after sex. he liked to sleep with you. he woke you up in the morning with a tender kiss and started buying you things you loved to eat, like jam, which he hated, but who cared?

aaron was like that. and he didn't know how to be any other way. as long as he understood what it meant to be casual — and he made sure he did — you didn't mind being treated like that. in fact, to be honest, it's the first time you've been with a person who treats you in a decent way and not like a sexual object, like your previous experiences.

everything with him is different.

the kiss continues. you uncross your arms and go up to his neck, remembering how useless it is to try to resist. that spontaneous charm is a strong characteristic of his. you would have continued that little smooch for longer, but the voices nearby interrupted the moment and you heard the laughter of one of the girls.

“hey, can you guys catch up later?” jenna says, watching the two of you step back from each other.  “we're at a disadvantage in the game.”

seth walks past jenna, pushing her lightly on the shoulder.

“speak for yourself, i'm hungry," he teases.  “hey, man, what did you cook there?”

he goes over to find out what aaron had cooked and you turn away from the goalkeeper, going to join the girls back at the pool. your fingers brush across your lips, which smile slyly one last time at aaron, who returns it, ignoring all of seth's complaints about the burnt pancakes.

masterpost | next part

[tickly-giggles]

Ultimate Masterpost! (Fics and Art)

Heyaa! I'm Giggles, I draw full time and write stories some of the time, so here's a full masterlist of everything I've done so far :D I will update this as frequently as I can ^^

I DRAW AND WRITE BOTH SFW AND NSFW CONTENT! FOR BOTH YOUR AND MY SAFETY, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE A MINOR. THANK YOU!

Few notes for clarification sake:

I don't take art requests often, if at all. Commissions are a definite way to get personalized art from me!

I might take writing requests in the future? But for now, I do not.

Commissions are currently closed, as I'm still working on my backlog TwT but I do have a Patreon that I advertise frequently!

What is open right now?

Tickle fight HCs ✅️

Tickle HCs for characters ✅️

Fic requests 🚫

Art requests 🚫

Sentence starter drabbles ✅️ (Request one from here, pros and villains only pls)

I am multi-fandom, but right now, my obsession is My Hero Academia. I am only taking HC requests/fic requests/art requests/drabbles for the pro heroes, teachers, and villains! I love the classes, but they are quite overdone. I wanna shine light on the characters that don't get too much love in this community :3

Now onto the list~!

Last Updated: 4/22/2024

My Hero Academia

* = Not a part of any storyline

Fics

Feather Ticklish - (Lee!Dabi, Ler!Hawks) During a meeting at the LoV hideout, Hawks notices Dabi looking more down and apathetic than usual. He tries to make him feel better, but when words don't work, he realizes he may need to take another approach.

Watch Your Back (sequel to Feather Ticklish) - (Lee!Hawks, Ler!Dabi) It's been a few weeks since Dabi warned Hawks to watch his back, but nothing has come of it. Hawks decides to go about his work without worrying about it too much (spoiler: he worries a lot) and, during a private outing to the hideout late at night, he runs into Dabi.

Get Some Sleep* (Sentence Prompt Drabble) - (Lee!Hawks, Ler!Dabi) College AU. Keigo has to finish a very important paper in order for him to graduate, but he's having a lot of trouble and refuses to sleep or take care of himself until it's done. Luckily, Touya is there to get him to take a break and sleep.

The Safe Word is 'Tickle'* (Sentence Prompt Drabble) - (Lee!Dabi, Ler!Hawks) Dabi has been tickling Hawks so often since they started dating. Not that Hawks is complaining, but he wants his own chance at revenge! And he gets it, in the meanest way possible~.

When I Find You, You're Dead!* (Sentence Prompt Drabble) - (Lee!Mic, Ler!Aizawa) Mic decided it would be a good idea to play a prank on his sleeping husband. When Aizawa wakes up and sees what he did, he has quite a bit of fun with his punishment~.

Headcanons

Dabi Tickle Headcanons

Twice Tickle Headcanons

Aizawa Tickle Headcanons

Sir Nighteye Tickle Headcanons

Kurogiri Tickle Headcanons

Bubble Girl Tickle Headcanons

Shigaraki Tickle Headcanons

Tickle Fight: Dabi vs Hawks

Tickle Fight: Dabi vs Shigaraki

Tickle Fight: Endeavor vs Hawks

Hawks Tickle Headcanons

Mr. Compress Tickle Headcanons

Art

Wing TKs (Lee!Dabi, Ler!Hawks)

Anticipation (Lee!Dabi, Ler!Hawks)

Muscle/Pose Practice (NonTK fanart of Dabi)

Fuck Off, I'm Playing Pokemon (NonTK fanart of Dabi and Shigaraki)

Wing Stretches (NonTK fanart of Hawks)

Careful if He Gets Loose~ (NonTK fanart of Dabi, barely NSFW, light bondage)

College AU Dabi/Touya Design (NonTK fanart of Dabi)

Sup, Little Bro? (NonTK fanart of Dabi and Shoto, college AU)

Tickle Fight (Switches!Dabi and Hawks)

You Have a Tickle Blog~? (Lee!Keigo, Ler!Touya - Part of my "Keigo has a tickle blog" college AU)

OCs

Bios

Nathan

Andrew

Christian

Eric

Fics

Forgot to Hit Record - (Lee!Eric, Ler!Andrew) Eric has been in more of a bad mood than usual, and his friends are getting fed up with it. Coincidentally, they have to film a "movie" for their website, and Andrew decides it's the perfect opportunity to put him in a better mood~.

Art

Tickle Torture (NSFW, Lee!Andrew, Lers Eric, Nathan, Christian)

Ask for Christian - What pranks have backfired? (Mentions of NSFW activity)

Ask for Andrew - Bust it down, sexual style?

Ask for Nathan - Who do you prefer to be tickled by?

Lazy Day (NonTK)

Ask for Andrew - What tools are your favorite?

Why Do You Sext Like Jigsaw? (NonTK, Andrew and Eric)

Cuties Bonding - (Lee!Nathan, Ler!Eric)

Happy Pride Month - (NonTK)

Dude, Why Are You Crying? - (NonTK, silly animatic w/ Christian and Andrew)

Forgot to Hit Record~ - (Lee!Eric, Ler!Andrew)

Teaching Him How to Bake [wip] - (NonTK ship art of Nathan and Eric)

Four Square - (NonTK art of all the boys, draw the squad meme)

Christian's Mummified Tickle Torture - (Lee!Christian, Ler!Andrew)

Can't Sleep - (Lee!Eric, Ler!Andrew)

Nathan Bunny Slime Sticker - (NonTK art of Nathan with a bunny slime, a sticker for my shop!)

Anticipation - (Lee!Nathan, Ler!Andrew)

[tonydaddingham]

how in the world do you do it? i sent that ask yesterday and i'm still making my way through your masterpost kind of reeling- almost every moment i paused the show (s2 especially) and thought, that's weird, but couldn't put my finger on why, you've talked about, and expanded on, and it's all so well put. you're slowly curing the countless little ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ bouncing around in my head. it's so satisfying, too, to see all those asks with LWA disagreeing with popular fanon. i'd been thinking it was only me.

i'm curious about your interpretation of the bullet catch, specifically aziraphale's motives. i scrolled through a few of your tags and didn't find much about it, but i might have missed something.

i've seen people say it was retaliation for the holy water request (ooc?), or some deliberate test of crowley's willingness to go through with it (and so go through with their relationship, in spite of the danger, or something). then, of course, there's the generally accepted afaik "elaborate trust fall, general aziraphalean ridiculousness" version, but convincing somebody to nearly shoot you seems like a lot (understatement), even then.

it comes across to me as a bit cruel, if that makes sense. this isn't reliant on crowley not wanting to shoot him, or just doing well under pressure. if he's never even shot a gun before, this is almost entirely luck, and i don't buy that the only thing at stake is paperwork, however much they repeat it to themselves. crowley's hands wouldn't have been shaking so badly. if he messes up, he's gonna hurt aziraphale, or have to watch his human body die. it's so fucked.

maybe it could be said that, without their miracles working, they knew they were being watched, and had to continue, but i don't buy that either. aziraphale didn't act like he felt threatened afterwards until furfur showed up- was doing the complete opposite.

that's all i've got for now, but yeah. this blog is awesome and i'm so here for your sideburn theories. have a nice day pls

oh anon✨ you're so sweet!!! i really dk about all that, i just like chatting shit and trying to spot patterns/contradictory stuff/things that don't make sense beyond the script (if that makes sense), so whilst you all might not get Smart out of me you will at least get Passionate🤌

(also YES for LWA appreciation, they deserve it 💕 - still dont know why they do it but im just happy to be involved)

ooooh okay bullet catch. couple of thoughts from me:

aziraphale was happy to go on stage and try to ameliorate the situation between crowley and mrs h (my beloved), but reticent to scope out any Showy-Offy tricks from goldstones shop

crowley hyped aziraphale up enough to go into the shop and find a new trick to perform; hes the angel who fooled nefertiti and is performing on the West End Stage, after all!!!

aziraphale is taken in by the bullet catch trick upon seeing it, but was previously happy to consider another trick. he also, presumably, wasnt aware of the element of trusting a stooge until it was told to him

aziraphale persuades crowley to perform it, even when crowley is obviously uncomfortable, and crowley isn't truthful with him re: firearms experience

crowley agreed, providing that they make use of their miracles if it goes tits up

aziraphale doesnt inform crowley on any of the plan; crowley is notably caught unawares when called out in the audience

miracles don't work, neither of them stop the performance. crowley once again still very uncomfortable, literally shaking on stage, and yet seems to calm at aziraphale ploughing on ahead.

so okay, yeah, ive basically just recited the scene - but a few conclusions:

aziraphale doesn't want to let crowley down or embarrass him by backing out of the act, or indeed by messing it up

i think there's probably some element of aziraphale doing it for himself (self-esteem), but in a way that, post-Realisation, he is showing off a bit... it strikes me that crowley wasn't fully cognizant of this little hobby of his, and aziraphale is taking a moment to do something that (bless him, he thinks) he's good at, and wow crowley as a result

i don't think the holy water request came into his motivations at all, for the same reasons you said. however, it is an appropriate mirror to the holy water request narratively; i think it will come back up in s3, and i think the bullet catch will at least emotionally inform aziraphale on whether to give crowley the water or not

as for crowley's motivations in going along with it; i think to some extent he's paying back the favour, but mainly that it's truly just to make aziraphale happy. a step beyond that; to him, aziraphale is in need of something, and that is something aziraphale is only trusting crowley to deliver. crowley of course assumes miracles will be their safety net, so agrees to be aziraphale's knight in shining armour (*cough* playing hero)

when the miracles fail, aziraphale still has trust in crowley to do it properly. crowley however is left to trust in aziraphale's trust in kind. he still wants to do this for him, but the stakes are a bit higher in that he could shoot his best friend (?) in the face and not see him again on earth for any number of years (imo, it's never, ever been about the paperwork). but aziraphale isn't backing down; is crowley about to disappoint him? of course not.

tl;dr: they're both arseholes for their respective lacks of transparency with each other, deliberately put themselves in harm's way, and it was by sheer luck that they pulled it off. but it is a huge seismic shift in how they see each other, and i don't think we've been shown/suggested the full implications of the whole thing just yet.

thank you so much for your kind words, they honestly make my day!!! hope you have a lovely day too!!!✨💕

[littleladymab]

FebruarOC - Masterpost

Okay I'm still trying to figure out the best method for cross-posting and I think the answer is I cross-post the rambling here and then if you want to read any of the drabbles or see character sheets you'll have to go to my patreon for that -- everything for this event is available to the public! Posts will go up there at my usual posting time (10am pacific) and up here in the evenings when I get home from work.

So I'll have a masterpost here that will be updated in chunks (probably over the weekends) with links to the characters (for ✨fuuuuuun✨)

Please enjoy a month of me talking about my OCs!

A: Altra - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] B: Beryl - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] C: Calanthe - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] D: Damaris - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] E: Elżbieta - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] F: Fe + Finn - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] G: Ghoti - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] H: Horatio - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] I: Ianto - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] J: Jocelyn - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] K: Ky - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] L: Larel - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] M: Mateen - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] N: Nicholai - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] O: Othello - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] P: Penelope - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] Q: Quin - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] R: Ren - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] S: Sam - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] T: Tempest - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] U: Uriah - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] V: Vines - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] W: Winston - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] X: Xochitl - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] Y: Yewan - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] Z: Zoe - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] 1: Faradian - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] 2: Carroway - [Tumblr] || [Patreon] 3: Kaedmon - [Tumblr] || [Patreon]

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 074 Octopus and Owl (SSM 72-77)

MASTERPOST

I'm gonna watch TASM 2 in theaters later today and I'm excited. I've never seen it on the big screen!

Anyway.

Today, we get to see more of Doc Ock (?), the Owl (who even is that?) and some much-needed conclusion to the soap side of things.

A long-time coming indeed!

The first issue of this post has a really cool cover.

So our story begins at a super-villain fan-club. *snickers* They mention that Doc Ock broke out of prison, and the Ock wannabe wants to party to celebrate. Frustrated by his friend's mockery of Ock, the Ock wannabe, Ollie, goes out in the night to join his idol. Methinks the kid has a crush.

Meanwhile, Peter goes home and finds that he's been robbed! He quickly catches up to the robbers, but then a police alarm leads him to another robbery. What an eventful night! Turns out the Ock wannabe stole comics. He later breaks in a toy store and accidentally knocks out the guard. Frightened, he calls for his mom.

A thought comes to me. This issue's called "Waiting for Octopus". It's a reference to "Waiting for Godot"... so I'll assume Octopus won't actually appear in this issue.

Anyway, Spidey stumbles upon the Ock wannabe and they "fight".

This is wild, but I like it! It leads to creative panels, just like when Mysterio gets involved. Then Spidey acts overdramatic.

Yeah, sure, you almost killed him... when you dodged dumbbells?

Ollie goes back to his parents and seems like a changed man. In secret, he's working on another project... web fluid! Oh boy.

Ock does appear (on the first page too, but I'd forgotten about that). He's a bit confused, but oh well.

Meanwhile, Debra's at her therapist and says she can't distinguish dreams from reality. Alright... sure.

Same.

I wish Ollie had met Ock, it could have been interesting.

#73 time!

Okay, this is a good start.

That guy is Bailey Kuklin, Debra's psychiatrist who appeared last issue. Finally, FINALLY, someone confronts Peter about his treatment of Debra.

I'd argue he's more than "partially responsible".

So Bailey suggests that Peter fakes being Spider-Man to convince Debra that she's delulu.

Look, Peter, this is your opportunity to stop acting like a jerkass.

Robbie calls Peter at that moment and says Boomerang comes up before the grand jury today (see, uh, whatever previous post Boomerang was in). Would be nice to have some pictures. Peter's very happy to have a reason not to think about Debra.

The one constant is that Peter's always fine as fuck.

Boomerang tries to leave his trial but Spidey quickly intervenes. He notices that three men tried to make Boomerang escape, and puts a tracer on them.

So... the Owl and Ock are at a meeting. The Owl wanted to free Boomerang to get his intel on the Kingpin. He wants to take over New York City! Ock doesn't want a partner though. And then Spidey gets there as well, and a fight starts, because when Spidey gets there, his ennemies usually agree to fight together to get rid of him.

(Give me the soap! Where's the soap?!)

Them being in a science museum gives way to a nice fight, some panels are really beautiful.

Ock leaves, because he really can't be bothered to deal with our two idiots.

The Owl gets away too, and for Peter, there's only one thing left to do...

So... 74 time!

Peter listens in on Debra's session with her psychiatrist, then is upset when the latter asks him again to act as Spider-Man.

SEE, THIS IS YOUR ISSUE RIGHT THERE!

Spider-Man IS a soap opera. It is! And that component has been missing ever since Conway left. Dear Lord, Bill Mantlo, don't think yourself so above this!

Now, Peter's right in that Debra doesn't need to be gaslit further, but still.

Leaving the office, Spidey doesn't notice a shadowy lady following him... No, his attention is turned toward Ock and the Owl's goons fighting each other. The Owl flies away with a plot-relevant object.

At ESU, Peter asks the dean about Debra. The dean tells him he actually hired Debra right after she left the hospital, and suggests Peter asks Biff Rifkin about his time with Debra in college.

Meanwhile, Ock and the Kingpin are having a tête-à-tête.

For a moment, the Kingpin laughs. He'd planned this already and replaced that thing with a fake. Then someone else snatches it hahaha.

At the health spa where Biff works, Peter talks to him to show how masculine and straight he is in this hormone-fueled environment.

So turns out Debra was abused by her ex-husband, Mark Whitman. Biff rescued her!

I need to see the real Biff, because that character is increasingly interesting. (And that pose is very gay.)

Finally, we get backstory. See what that gave us? I'm already much more interested in Biff and Debra!

Ock and the Owl briefly fight but we don't care about that. I'm getting my soap fix, and I'm enjoying it!

Debra's at home, "talking to her stuffed animal", which is supposed to be weird, but that doesn't strike me as particularly scary.

She has a Snoopy and a teddy bear, she's alright in my book!

Spidey gives his true identity to Debra...

This is a beautiful panel, I love it.

Debra's in shock, then she starts to laugh. She thanks Peter for putting on this masquerade for her.

HAHAHAHA OH GOD. There's absolutely nothing good in this panel. Too many issues! Oh Lord. No, Debra, no! The best friend you've ever had?!

The next day, Debra leaves for the Midwest to resolve her past, before she can move on.

I can't with these two (but Peter looks very comfy, I love that outfit).

And with Debra out of the picture (until, at least, a quick apparition during Civil War that will vindicate her), Black Cat comes back.

On one hand, I really enjoyed this issue for the amount of soap it provided me, but on the other hand, that resolution absolutely stunk.

Our friend Bell Lectar is oddly more enthuastic than me:

I feel like Peter does have good development in this issue, but it comes crashing down near the end when he just lets her believe that he masqueraded.

Anyway, it's a few days later, I watched TASM2 in theaters, it was great, now let's finish this and then meet the Hobgoblin next post.

SSM 75!

Spidey's relieved that Black Cat's alive, and he immediately kisses her, like, the same day he kissed Debra. Our man gets around!

Felicia asks for another kiss but Spidey's immediately like "Hey, i'm still shocked you're alive, give me a break". Weird timing, but sure!

So how did Felicia survive?

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I actually burst out laughing when I saw her removing the web to show her underwear to the reader.

I can imagine Roger Stern turning a wheel for each step: "So Black Cat... got naked... but people caught her... and she met... Doc Ock!"

At least it's a fun way to tie her return to the ongoing arc.

So of course, Felicia reveals she stole the real device that can destroy the city, and Spidey's like, "Well, I've got no other lady so YOLO" (sure, Debra literally left hours ago, but it's not like she mattered very much, did she?) even though he takes the time to remind us for the umpteenth time that he has exams and should study and that this time, really, he'll be in trouble if he doesn't succeed.

I don't think we've seen Peter succeed at a single exam, folks.

She's hilarious. And I love their relationship, I love me some angst men.

They're about to get to some sexy times when Ock barges him, captures Felicia and offers an ultimatum to Spidey: the activator to get her back! Ock's particularly pissed that Felicia "abused his hospitality" hahaha

He becomes even more pissed when Spidey calls Felicia "my lady", but Felicia loves that so much she slips from Ock's tentacles.

There's a really great fight scene, but Ock escapes with Felicia. Spidey then barges in on the Kingpin, who accepts to answer Spidey's questions because he's afraid of Octopus. Surprising, but nice!

He notably says that he's already reallocating his resources. He's terrified!

Really cool panel.

In the end, Spidey saves the day. It's a really cool fight, and a really cool issue. Also, it's almost 40 pages, which is insane.

In #76, peace, uh, doesn't last long.

At all.

I really like her expression on the right, in the penultimate panel. This is really good. I love this. Oof. It's painful.

But Black Cat also cheated death many times already.

Spidey throws Doc Ock (who's responsible)'s arms in the ocean and takes BC to a hospital.

When the sun rises, it seems like BC will be alright, but then Spidey remembers he has EXAMS. He's almost late at it, and it's clear once again that Peter has ADHD. Issues with discipline, you say? Yup.

Look, it's time for the side character's cameo of the week! Isn't that nice?

As soon as he finishes the exam, Peter rushes back to the hospital, where he sees... Captain DeWolff. She's bringing amnesty papers for Felicia, yay!

And Felicia wakes up.

Doc Ock too, and he's determined to make her and Spidey pay.

In #77, Ock goes to the hospital and warns Spidey that they'll die 24 hours later. Okay dude. The Captain's still here and insists that Spidey should call her Jean. That's lovely, I'm just getting worried because I know her name thanks to a popular storyline, and I don't doubt that it's coming soon...

I expected the Doc Ock storyline to conclude there, but instead, Spidey stumbles upon thieves and the Gladiator. They have a really cool interaction that, while it's definitely here to stall for time, makes for a solid issue. I loved it.

If you're curious, Bell Lectar is overjoyed at Peter's recent development and has regained faith in the magazine, yay!

Now: let's see the famed Hobgoblin!

[twopoppies]

hi darling, I was wondering if you could recommend more fics like this one https://archiveofourown.org/works/36757348 because I'm in a really bad place rn and I need more depressed/mentally ill harry fics or shots. thank you!

Hi, sugar. Have you already checked the masterpost pinned at the top of my blog? I have a Mental Illness fic rec under "M" (or under "A" for Anxious, or under "D" for Depression), Anxious Harry, specifically, under "A", Hurt/Comfort under "H", Disordered Eating under "D" (or under "E" for Eating Disorders), Canon fics under "C" (but you'll have to dig through to find ones where it focuses on mental illness, so I'd go to the other recs first)... Honestly, I have so many different fic recs, and they're listed alphabetically, so if you take a minute to look, you'll probably find something related to what you're searching for. It's a lot quicker than waiting for me to answer.

If you've looked through that and you still don't find what you want, LMK. I hope things get better for you soon. 💖