#i'm trying to curate my online experience in a way that doesn't have me reading this shit when i'm not in the mental state to handle it

[max-uhhhh-talks]

Hey there, you're 16. I'm 30. it's okay if you are still upset by media because it depicts immoral things, but the best thing you can do is avoid things that hurt you. Media depicts shitty things all the time.

For example, I like watching cop shows. ACAB for life, but i like a cop serial. I know, they're usually kind of trash, but i like a predictable little detective story. It doesnt change that I think the police institution shouldnt exist.

If you believe, even though the Copiiia shippers do not, that canon is law, you must agree that what we enjoy in fiction is no representation of what we endorse in reality.

It's okay that it really upsets you, but the world cannot make itself palatable to the tastes of one teenager. I know you grew up with the algorithm and haven't had to learn how to curate your online experience, but it's a skill that will help you a huge amount.

Direct your energy towards meaningful things. The zest of youth is powerful, and it does not last forever. Before you know it, you too will be thirty and just trying to pay your rent on time. Live your youth well, focus on the things that matter.

Take care, and leave the tired adults alone. Peace out.

I will not leave the "tired adults" alone, they deserve to be called out.

I have been on the internet for years, I know how to curate my experience online. I actively do curate my experience online.

That doesn't stop me from seeing disgusting things.

This is not just one teenager complaining. There are tons of people in this fandom, a lot of adults I've interacted with in the fandom, who hold my beliefs in terms of the standard on what is and is not to portray in romantic or sexual ways.

This is not just a child that is complaining. This is someone starting a conversation that needs to be had within this fandom. It is a genuine issue that needs to be brought to light.

You've clearly never heard of "fiction reflects reality," have you?

Indulging in a cop investigation show while holding the ACAB belief is not the same as going out of your way to write, draw, read romantic and sexual depictions of incest. Why do you like incest so much?

Theres a difference between media depicting certain dynamics and media romanticizing it.

[autistichalsin]

Okay, I’ve been a bit scared because I’ve been observing from the sidelines, but I do want you to know this isn’t a hateful or troll ask, I’m genuinely asking for clarification.

In my experience, “pro-shipping” has always meant ‘problematic shipping’, and all of the people I’ve talked to about this have said the same thing.

Am I the one who’s misconstrued? I really don’t get it.

Being called “pro-harassment” or “pro-censorship” is hurtful and confusing as all hell.

I don’t harass people for what they create. I don’t care to do that. I block and move on, and warn people if I know they could be upset by the content.

But I also don’t understand how certain things are justified.

I am personally not bothered by much, but I have watched friends and acquaintances go through visceral traumatic reactions because people have decided to air out their coping by sharing it with the public. (I.E, people who write romantic incestual fics, etc)

I don’t give a shit what people write. I really don’t. But it feels harmful to use the excuse of coping when you, in turn, could be hurting dozens of others.

Like I said, I genuinely am not trying to be hateful here. I’m confused, and still distraught that all of this is happening. I don’t think anyone deserves to be harassed. I just also don’t get the logic here.

Pro-shipping never once meant problematic shipping. It meant opposite of "anti" because antis would come and invade the tags and asks, calling them all kinds of names if they found their ships distasteful.

Sorry that being indirectly accused of supporting harassment hurt your feelings. Imagine how I felt, being DIRECTLY accused of supporting rape in real life because of my taste in fiction. You are throwing in your lot with people who can't distinguish fantasy and reality.

I don't like incest fics either, anon. They are triggering for me. So you know what I do? I don't read fics tagged as incest. For that reason, I have never been triggered by an incest fic. I suppose I would be if I read an incest fic that wasn't tagged as much, but you will never find a single pro-shipper who defends posting such content without a tag. You are responsible for your own experience online; it is your job to curate the content.

If it was just seeing that the fic exists that triggered the response, then I'm sorry to say they're still in the wrong. As a survivor, learning that triggers exist and how to navigate those triggers is on you. We are responsible for how we deal with our trauma. Your friends didn't deserve their traumas, and they deserve kindness and support, but requesting that people never be allowed to write distasteful fiction so that they don't have to be upset by the idea that someone somewhere shipped incest is not reasonable. Their feelings are valid; it's totally reasonable to be triggered, to strictly curate your online experience. It's reasonable to block everyone who ships the upsetting incest ships, to put an "incest shippers DNI" on your page, all of it. It's not reasonable to call them supporters of IRL incest or to accuse them of causing your trauma. It isn't hard at all on AO3 or Tumblr; they even give you the option to blacklist/filter out certain tags so you can avoid it without blocking users. There's easily half a dozen safeguards that already exist that are a lot less radical, a lot less likely to be weaponized against queer users, and a lot easier to enforce than trying to remove them.

Me writing fics, such as a character using kink to cope, can only harm a user who doesn't curate their feed (and who reads fics they know will trigger them, which I can only assume would then be a purposeful form of self-harm). Denying other survivors their coping mechanism, though, IS a direct form of harm. Stigmatizing recovery by saying that survivors are in any way akin to abusers for creating fiction is a direct form of harm.

It sounds to me like you've absorbed some very harmful and very narrow ideas of what recovery should and should not look like, and what is and isn't a good/valid survivor. You might want to reflect on why you're turning your attention to policing what survivors do to cope so much.

[helios-co]

At this point when I notice "antishipper" or "proshippers dni" in the bio of someone I actually like, I just kinda assume they're misinformed until I see otherwise...

Just to set the record straight, a proshipper is someone who doesn't attack people for shipping problematic ships. Sometimes that's because they themself ship problematic ships like incest, adult/minor, or abusive ships, but the only thing you can actually know about a proshipper's views is that they follow the policies of ship-and-let-ship and don't-like-don't-read. I call myself a proshipper because I'm not gonna harass or publicly shame people who ship stuff I don't like or agree with. I've posted anti-izuocha in the past with some malice, sure, but that was from the perspective of defending canon. People claim it's "clearly canon" when it's not and it pisses me off. But if someone tells me "I ship izuocha whether or not they're canon because I think they're cute together and that they'd be happy together" we have no problem. I respect that 100%. I'll maybe try to convince them of my own views but I'm not gonna be a bitch to them if they stand firm in their own.

The entire concept of being antiship is pro-censorship and pro-harassment. It's saying "if you ship something bad in fiction you deserve to be called out because you're a bad person and I hate you". Even if people DON'T ship the bad thing and they just write or draw it because the dynamic interests them, the same way people write whump of their fav character or draw gore, the antishipper view is "you're hurting real people by creating fictional works and you're a shit person". I think that's bullshit. I am anti-censorship. Keeping people, especially children, from seeing shit that isn't for them, is the job of the adult. If they're an adult, they need to be aware of the shit they can't deal with and curate their own experience based on it. Tumblr let's you block tags you don't wanna see. Ao3 has it's entire revolutionary tagging and filtering system to let you pick what you do and don't wanna see. Don't like, don't read. If they're a child, it's their adult guardians' responsibility to monitor their internet access and let them know (constructively and gently!!) what to avoid online. If your kid is seeing nsfw online, no matter the topic or ship, don't blame it on the content creators, blame yourself. The only thing I expect of the creators is tagging your shit properly with the necessary content warnings and spoilering text or images on certain platforms when it's needed.

Anyways, this is probably gonna be our only post on this subject, but our views are out there now and we're standing by them.

[olderthannetfic]

With all this talk about AI, the one perspective that appears missing from the discussion is that of someone who actually uses AI writing tools in production of their fanfic. So here I am, stepping in to provide my (anonymous) two cents.

I've been using a generative AI program especially made for creative writers for several months now. Initially, I had a lot of the same reservations I'm hearing form others, but I was curious about the tech and wanted to try it for myself. I quickly discovered that it's insanely useful, and I truly believe it has improved my writing. 

I also believe these tools will become commonplace among creative writers in the near future. In fact, I've heard that generative AI is coming to a writing software near you (MS Word to be exact), and I suspect that that once more people have actually tried it, use of AI will begin to seem no more remarkable than the use of spelling or grammar checkers does now. 

In the meantime, as you can see, I am staying anon, and there is absolutely no way I would tag my fanfic as AI assisted given the current environment. People are very quick to make assumptions about what a statement like that means, and are all too hasty in reaching for their pitchforks.

As far as I can tell, the main concern seems to be that Ao3 will be flooded with 'bad' fanfic as a result of AI use. But 'bad' fanfic has been a thing for as long as I've been in fandom (decades, at this point), and in my experience, human beings are perfectly capable of writing poorly without any help from machines. Readers are, as always, advised to curate their own reading experience. The 'back' button works the same as it always did, and someone's possible use of AI changes nothing about that. 

But the general assumption that AI input automatically leads to 'bad' writing seems rather short-sighted. Yes, obviously if someone were to go to ChatGPT and tell it to write them a fanfic in 'x' fandon about 'x' pairing, the output would be bland, generic and probably a bit rambling. AIs are not great storytellers; they can't maintain narrative logic. 

If this hypothetical person then copy-pasted the unedited output directly onto Ao3 and called it a story, the result would most likely qualify as 'bad' fanfic. Whether it would be worse than a story the same person might have written on their own is debatable. Our hypothetical protagonist obviously decided that the output was good enough as it was, and chose to post it without bothering to edit, which suggests (at least to me) that they would have similar standards about a story they'd written without an AI.

Since the above seems to be the scenario everyone has in mind when talking about "AI fic," I would like to point out that what I just described is not the only way to use AI in one's writing. My own use is more akin to using an online thesaurus; a very powerful thesaurus that can make suggestions for things like phrasings, descriptions, dialogue, and so on. The key there is that it makes suggestions. 

My AI assistant is smart enough to 'read' the scene I'm working on and tailor its suggestions to the mood, style and context of what I'm writing. But it's still my story. The AI doesn't write it for me. I'm the one who sifts through those suggestions, takes the bits that work, and shapes them into useful text. Sometimes the AI comes up with amazing things. I wasn't kidding when I said it's improved my writing - and my rewriting. It knocks me out of those mental ruts we writers tend to get into, coming up with descriptions and turns of phrase that I wouldn't have thought of on my own. 

But it's still just a tool, and at the end of the day, I'm still the writer. The words that end up on the page do so because I chose them. Those writerly choices are what make the story mine, regardless of where the words might have originated from. And whether they came from my brain or the AI, they are still subject to the same standards of rewriting, editing and proofing.

So no, I don't think I'm going to be tagging my fic with an AI disclosure statement any time soon. Not until the current moral panic dies down to the point where people don't read that and automatically assume it means 'copy-pasted from ChatGPT.' And for anyone who's curious about AI... I suggest you try it for yourself. Play around a little and find out what it's about before making judgments. I think you'll find it's a tool like any other - and just like any tool, it can be used well or it can be used badly. That's entirely in the hands of the human being using it - which is one thing that hasn't changed, and never should.

--

Yeah, I fail to see any major issue with more sucky fanfic getting posted. That's just the default for big fic archives.

The actual problem problems we're seeing are with paid markets with open submissions that get flooded beyond what staff can handle and big corporations replacing humans they already try not to pay.

The main potential issue I see with other uses of AI is that it may end up with samey suggestions, but it's hard to know how much that's 1. a thing and 2. an actual issue when writing genre stuff that often sounds samey on purpose and where that's a desirable characteristic.

[withacapitalp]

How come "books are books, shows are shows, do whatever you want w characters" doesn't apply to B*lly? Not trying to start drama, just genuinely want to understand. Is it because he's a bad guy I can't reshape him into something I'd like and ignore what's "canon?"

Oh boy Nonnie okay I'll try to be really clear but it probably won't come out super legible. I'm putting it under a read more because I don't wanna clog up my dash w a long explanation (which knowing me it's going to end up being) I also want to say that all of this is MY opinion. I'm no one's ultimate judge, I'm just a guy on the internet who writes stories.

All that to say, this is why I think that fundamentally the idea that Eddie's sexuality and Billy's racism can be manipulated in fandom on the same level is really flawed.

Overall I think that the point of fan fiction is personal enjoyment. Ultimately you're creating something with yourself as the audience in mind. If not, then I don't really get it. So, for you, maybe it can mean that. Do I personally agree? No, but I can't stop anyone from creating something and putting it online. That's the whole point of ao3, no bars, no barriers. When you start putting that kind of wall in place, a slippery slope starts to form, so even if I would never personally partake in some forms of fanfic, I get why it's important to have a place where any kind of fic can exist. Back button exists for a reason, block button exists for a reason, curate your own online experience.

I'm not gonna be the person who says like if you like Billy you're a garbage person, because like that just isn't true? The two aren't automatically associated. Do I think that people who want to erase that part of Billy should maybe examine that urge? Yeah, but I think we all need to look inside and see where systematic racism might make us think things are more acceptable than they should be. I also can't understand people who want to give Vecna a redemption arc, or the people who think Sn*pe was just misunderstood. Regardless, we're all works in progress, and 90% of people to me are capable of learning more and growing and seeing where they might be working with a bias. I know I definitely have my own too.

I personally just will not give him redemption of any form or reshape him, because to do so seems to be disrespectful from my point of view to real life people. I'm not a person of color, Billy's racism is at the forefront of his character, so for me to reshape that and erase it in a fanfic feels like I would be ignoring a serious thing and pretending like that never happened, when it exists in our society in a major way. There isn't a point where Billy's racism ever gets resolved. In fact, the whole thing gets dropped completely in s3 which seems like a really terrible oversight by the Duffers. It's used as a plot point when it was convenient, which is messy and wrong.

But All of that is just background to your real question here which I believe is this-

Why is it okay to change a character's sexuality, but not their bigotry?

For me, I don't really like to equate the two? I think that the idea that someone's sexuality is a 'flaw' that needs to be reshaped is kinda problematic, and we also don't actually know Eddie's sexuality. Everyone can say what they think till the cows come home, but at no point did we get 'Eddie is confirmed gay, straight, bi, etc. etc.' EVERY single interpretation of Eddie's sexuality is someone shaping canon as they see fit right now.

With Billy he is confirmed racist. He is 100% undoubtedly a racist. Not even someone who used to be racist who learned and repented. He was always racist and tried to commit a hate crime against Lucas (I would argue that he did, because holding a twelve year old up against a wall and threatening to kill them because they're black and they dared to want to get to know your sister feels like a hate crime to me) The only reason he didn't seriously hurt Lucas was the fact that Steve stepped in. That's it. He was going to assault a child for his race.

To compare ignoring that to playing with a character's sexuality feels....mm I just strongly don't agree. I don't exactly have words to explain, but I really don't.

I think there are things you can change about characters easily. You can change their sexualities, their ages, their genders, their backstories, but to fundamentally erase something like that just doesn't line up for me.

No call out here Nonnie, I appreciate that you wanted to ask and be open, but this is my question for people who want to change Billy that way- What is it about Billy that is so compelling that it feels necessary to change that part of him? Why is Billy the character you *need* to write for?

Jonathan is a fantastic big brother who has a ton of issues and was abused by his father. If you're having the hankering to try and examine a flawed big brother, he's right there.

Eddie is an outcast (and strongly implied that he comes from an abusive home) and if you're looking to try and write about that, he's right there.

Steve is the character that has actually GONE through the redemption people always try to give Billy. He said slurs and did bad things, and almost immediately went to make amends for them when he was able to acknowledge he did the wrong thing.

Billy never even apologized. He hadn't changed by the time he died, and no I don't think sacrificing himself was some major change. I think that a villain can be tragic without needing to retroactively make them a better person. Billy is a flawed and broken person. Yes that probably relates mostly to the way he was raised and the fact that his family was violent, but that doesn't excuse it. The Byers have an abusive home, and at no point does Jonathan act the way Billy does. I think they're really good foils to each other on what can happen with a big brother.

Anyways this was a really really long answer nonnie, but I hope I got it across why I really disagree with that stance. If anyone was offended or upset, know that wasn't my intenion, and feel free to let me know.

[mia-martian]

I wish there was a way to tell minors to be careful and back off of some content.

I know how it is- literally my whole generation has experienced growing up with the internet to some capacity. I grew up with completely uncensored internet, and the reality is that it traumatized me. Because the things I liked had adults interacting with it and making adult content.

And now, there are adults and content farms making traumatizing content diRECTLY targeting kids. Which has happened before, but now I feel like it has increased. I worry a lot for the kids and teens online nowadays.

To any young people that might be reading;

It doesn't matter if "gore doesn't scare you" or how desensitized you may be. When you put yourself in an online space that isn't made with you or your best intentions in mind, you are going to get hurt. You are going to get scrutinized. You're going to see things you aren't meant to and shouldn't see. Being desensitized isn't a strength, it's a result of repeated trauma.

Interact with people your age. If you are not the target demographic for something, tread with caution or just don't interact with it at all.

If you see ANYTHING or ANYONE that makes you uncomfortable, it's okay to just report it, block them, and move on. Don't linger on what makes you uncomfortable or disturbs you. Not for ANY reason.

You don't always have to be an advocate. It's okay to curate your own online experience and focus on what brings you joy. You don't have to constantly think about every issue going on in the world or online. You have to rest before you can act. It's not immoral to choose your mental health over whatever internet drama or controversies or real-world issues may be going on. When things are out of your control, doing your best is more than enough, and stepping away isn't a crime.

Take breaks. For the love of god, try to take breaks. It's hard enough being young as is.

And pLEASE do NOT follow me. Everything else I post is with an adult audience in mind. I'm just some dumbass in my 20's, and I'm still figuring out whatever the hell IM supposed to be about.

Just heed my warnings, and may our paths cross in a later date. Or something cheese like that.

[hot-take-tournament]

Omg the reblog person is so real for that. I understand that Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm so liking doesn't functionally do anything but I get extremely anxious about reblogging so the guilt trips are really awful for me (and I assume it's the same for others with similar issues.)

Uh- bit of a tangent/rant below. For context I'm an "Audhd-er" (I think that's the term people use, it means I'm autistic and I have ADHD)

I understand most of the time they are over-exaggerating their feelings on the matter. In posts about reblogging stuff from writers and artists it's always kind of a "LIKES DO NOTHING SHOW YOUR LOVE WITH REBLOGS LIKES MEAN NOTHING"

I've always found that a bit odd. As someone with two mutuals (one of whom is rarely online) and 1 normal follower my reblogs really aren't gonna do much so I mostly reblog stuff my mutuals might like and occasionally make my own posts. (Keeping everything else private for the most part) When I get a like it always brings a warm fuzzy feeling because it means someone enjoyed my reblog or post enough to share with me that they liked it.

I've only had one post that breached containment and it was a fun weekend of checking out the blogs of people who liked it! All in all I think maybe people are just unaware of the anxieties that come with being online and the people who experience those anxieties are too anxious to really speak up about it. I mean look at me I'm chilling behind an anon mask rn (I rarely send an off anon ask lol.)

For a website dubbed by its users as the neurodivergent website, some people forget to consider that learning and working within the culture of a social media platform can be extremely stressful for many types of people, let alone an autistic person such as myself (the ADHD doesn't help either). Some of us would prefer to lurk in our private blogs, only coming out of our comfort zone when we feel ok to do so.

All in all, a reminder to reblog is perfectly fine, but please refrain from the guilt-tripping and social obligation type of thing— or at least be aware of it and try not to be offended if one of your mutuals struggles to reblog.

Now this is all my personal perspective, other people will likely have completely different experiences but I wanted to share in case people were confused on why it's an issue for some people. Thanks for reading this whole thing and I hope you have a lovely day <3

I think I get what you're saying -

For a lot of people it genuinely takes a surprising amount of guts to put themselves out there on the internet in any way, even if it's anonymously, and that includes things as simple as reblogging a post.

It's not just Tumblr either. You also see it on Reddit and Twitter, and in online games where people just want to keep to themselves and not interact with strangers. Some people just want to lurk, maybe liking or upvoting, but not commenting or reblogging, because that feels like making yourself more "visible" somehow, in a way simply liking posts doesn't.

It's difficult to put into words, but I feel it's kind of like being in a university lecture with 50+ strangers. Liking is sitting in the back quietly taking notes. Reblogging is like putting your hand up and giving an opinion when the professor asks for one.

It's true that only reblogging actually contributes anything functionally, but there are plenty of people, especially neurodivergent people, who might struggle with that kind of thing, but still want to show some appreciation, or just save it as a bookmark.

So, I think that's partly why that kind of guilt-tripping or threatening reblog bait can be so stressful. Tumblr is a comfort app for a lot of people, who just want to curate their own little private space. Reblog baits are like someone banging on your door, telling you that you're actively doing something wrong by keeping to yourself, and (in the case of "I'll block/unfollow you if you like/read but don't reblog" baits) people will hate you for doing it.

It also implicitly takes away the sense of control you have over your own personal online space. Ideally, you should be able to do whatever you want with your own blog - no one should dictate your own online experience. So, if you just want to reblog things you like or want to share, at whatever pace you feel comfortable with, there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.

But reblog baits seem to suggest that you shouldn't have that control, and there are certain things that you have no choice but to put on your blog, and it has to be right now. And I feel that sense of having control suddenly snatched away from you without warning could also be a major source of anxiety for a lot of people who see Tumblr as a source of comfort.

With all that in mind, while I do believe that it's not quite this simple, considering artists and writers, and especially those who rely on commissions, do need exposure from reblogs, I also feel it's difficult to blame people for finding very aggressive reblog baits stressful, especially when you're suddenly blindsided with them.

At least, those are just my initial thoughts based on what you said, but absolutely let me know if you disagree with any of this or feel I misrepresented what you meant <3

[northern-passage]

honestly same...I also only stick to reading the same ifs I've been reading since like 2 years ago + as a disabled lgbt person this community has gotten to toxic to interact wth tbh

hmmm putting this under a read more but here's some ramblings about my personal experience as well as some advice if anyone wants it

before i started writing tnp, when i was just a reader, it was very easy to curate my space and avoid a lot of the nastier people (especially back when the forums were the main space for people to talk about IF. i didn't go on the forums at all) and i was very much outside of the fandom and followed only like one artist whose recommendations i started off with before finding more stuff on my own.

once i became an author though it is impossible to avoid certain groups of people and it's really hard to hold on to that comfortable space. over the last like 3 years now my audience has definitely changed and dwindled a lot due to my.... Big personality but before that i had to endure a lot of harassment, people stalking me, people harassing my friends just for being my friend, almost constant transphobia and racism, and even now i still have people that seem to just camp in my inbox waiting for any opportunity to try and hurt me/get a reaction out of me.

i've been pretty open about all of this stuff happening too which most people also don't like, though that seems to be pretty standard across any fandom when you try to talk about how bad they are. i'm never really surprised when other authors delete without any warning or they just slowly stop posting and never come back. it's definitely something i've wanted to do more than once and still think about sometimes. even now after finally seeming to find my "niche" and a more understanding audience, it's really hard and i struggle with finding inspiration and motivation because of how people have treated me.

unfortunately i think it's always been this way, it's the nature of sharing work online and especially with IF feeling so "collaborative" people really feel entitled to it. and i also see readers facing this same kind of harassment, too, so it's definitely not just an author problem.

my advice is to just block and ignore people as best you can and just stay in your own little bubble with your friends or at least people that you trust. if you're an author going through any of the things i mentioned then just know there are a lot of other authors that have had to go through it, too, and that you should also just block and ignore to the best of your ability. just because you're an author doesn't mean you have to tolerate it. i used to respond to a lot of messages which is why i feel that a lot of my harassment lasted for so long, because they thought it was "funny" to upset me, but the more you respond and give them attention the more they'll keep doing it. so just block anons and move on (i know i make it sound so simple. trust me i used to be really bad about it, now i try to take at least a day or two before responding and usually by that time i realize how stupid it is and i just delete it without any fanfare)

at the end of the day though it's your decision, and your well-being comes first before anything else. i say this to both authors and readers, there's no reason to force yourself to stay in a place that makes you uncomfortable or is triggering. sometimes it's better to just let go and move on, though i know that's easier said than done. i'm a prime example as someone who still logs into tumblr daily despite trying really hard not to do that.

and i'm not saying to give up on your work, but rather that writing privately is always an option, and it's what i've been doing now with my other projects ever since i took siren's call down. i know the desire for outside validation can be overwhelming but i think it's important to remember that you should be writing this for yourself first and that there's no harm in keeping your work private until you're ready. tumblr is fun but there's also a lot of problems that can be difficult to deal with while you're also trying to keep motivation and creativity up to write your story, and it can be really discouraging.

like i said, your first priority should be yourself, and if you have to step back away from tumblr/fandom then you should & you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

all of that to say that there are nice people out there, too, i've made really good friends here and i really value their friendship and their understanding, especially when i was going through the worst of it. and there are a lot of readers who have been very kind to me and that have sent me very nice messages and drawn lovely art over the years and i always try to focus on that over everything else.

it can be really easy to get overwhelmed by all the negativity and hostility which is why it's so important to find your people and be supportive of each other.

[3am-dragon]

Pinned Post

Me:

Dragon (I did not get this nickname for a cool reason, it was an insult at the time, but I have embraced it over the last 20+ years)

Also 3am_dragon on AO3

Also 3am_dragon, 4am_dragon, 5am_dragon and 6am_dragon on Neopets

Queer

Jewish

ADHD sufferer

Adult

From the US

Harpist

Minored in psychology, mom is a psychologist, really into character psychology, will tell you about my D&D character's life in detail if allowed

Hot Takes:

Thought crimes aren't real, fandom/shipping isn't activism. It's internet Barbies, and you're taking this way too seriously.

Blocking you doesn't mean I'm a bad person in the same way putting the trash in the dumpster doesn't make me a bad person. I curate my online experience. If you're going to be an asshole, I'm going to block you and move on.

You're not owed a response just because you sent an angry ask.

Fiction is not real. If an author writes something, they didn't do it IRL. Stephen King is not a killer clown, for instance. I am, likewise, not a dragon nor a hot 54 year old DILF.

Depiction is not endorsement.

Reading is consensual. If you do not like something, hit the back button instead of crying about something you, of your own free will, read.

I don't believe harassment is okay, ever. "But what about-" Even if you finish that sentence with an example of a truly bad person, harassment typically makes someone more entrenched in their beliefs, meaning you've effectively made the problem worse.

Real people matter more than fiction.

Redeeming villains is fine. They're fictional. Darth Vader isn't going to hurt you, he's not real. He has never existed.

Queer infighting is dumb. You will never hate enough people to be liked by queerphobes. I've lost track of what identities tumblr is hating on today and I don't care. Are you a good person? Yes? Then we're good. Go forth and identify however you want.

Purity culture, antis (and really, any amount of panic about fiction), and sex negativity have no place in reality for healthy adults.

Depicting something is not the same as fetishizing or romanticizing it.

Saying "depicting [thing] is fetishizing it" is a good way to get people to stop trying to be inclusive in their writing and is a red flag for internalized hatred.

Someone writing their own experience is not fetishizing it, romanticizing it or doing it wrong.

Legal =/= moral. Moral =/= legal. CSEM is legal in Equatorial Guinea. Being queer is illegal in many countries. If you think people shouldn't be "allowed" to write "illegal" things, or if you call something bad not by saying it's abusive or a violation of human rights but by saying it's "illegal", you have no moral compass. The law should not dictate to you what is and is not okay, your morality and ethics should.

Trying to control what other people create is a fool's errand. Instead of being angry about people writing what you don't like, you should write/read what you do like.

Hating something =/= valid criticism.

Drastically exaggerating small errors =/= valid criticism.

"Problematic" is not a valid complaint. Conflict makes stories interesting. Some actions are supposed to be a problem so they can be overcome or move the plot forward.

There is no such thing as a "proship". Pro just means 'in favor of', and most of us are in favor of at least one ship, but there aren't filthy evil bad wrong proships that contaminate you and good wholesome pure ships that make you a good person if you like them. This is the most terminally online thing I've ever heard. It's just make-believe.

Not anti or proship but a secret third thing, aware that the former is a cult and the latter is a useless term when "don't be an asshole about fiction" used to be and should still be standard behavior.

Digital self-harm is real and no one is responsible for your self-harm except yourself. Hatewatching or hatereading making you miserable is your fault. You did this.

"Multishipping" just means being normal. Most people ship multiple things.

Calling people by ship names as if they're ethnicities is incredibly creepy in an 'unwell on so many levels I want to speak to your mom' way. "He's a Reylo" is a sentence that shows you have forgotten we are playing make-believe with fake people for funsies. Because, to be clear, that is what we are doing. We are not joining warring nations.

Trying to say a ship is toxic because it's interracial is deeply racist. You tell yourself it's progressive to self-soothe, but "don't lower yourself to dating a non-white" is KKK rhetoric.

Blood quantum is a colonialist racist white supremacist construct. If you believe shit like "half-white people are white" you do not understand how ethnicity works or how social stratification works, not just in the US but abroad.

A good person who likes bad media is better than a bad person who likes good media.

Music/game/book/anime/media snobbery is a cry for help that tells me you're deeply insecure about the validity of your own preferences.

You are not owed a recounting of others' trauma in order for them to be "allowed" to write something.

Media doesn't cause abuse. Abusers make the choice to abuse someone and it's really, truly creepy that some of you want to absolve abusers of all wrongdoing. "Look what you made me do" is a common abuser line that becomes no less wrong when it's "look what TV/fanfic/anime made me do".

Forcing people out of the closet is wrong.

Queer people are not such absurd, alien creatures that straight, cis people can't play queer roles or write queer stories.

The closet is not a place of systemic privilege and people do not have privilege if their safety can be ripped out underneath them at any given moment by being outed.

Antis once sent me pictures of a baby being sexually tortured to "punish" me for writing a romance between a 40 year old and a 44 year old so please don't waste my time with the "we're anti-pedophilia" line. One of us might be into kids but it's not me. (Hint: it's the one who has CSEM and shares it openly.)

"You reblogged from a bad person jsyk-" Cool, I'll check it out, but if nothing comes up I'm just going to block you/delete your ask. Give me receipts or leave. I've been called a pedophile for writing two adults holding handing, I don't believe callouts or "heads up" posts.

"What do you think about [fanon thing here]?" I know this is a plague in some fandoms but I could not care less about fanon. If it's not used in my story, assume I don't have any thoughts about something the fandom came up with. I'm aware some people love to have in-depth conversations about lore and mechanics but my neurodivergency tends towards being into character psychology, not lore.

"Your work doesn't go along with this popular fanon/common headcanon!" I am not beholden to other people's ideas or creative endeavors.

"Don't you feel like you owe it your audience to-" No. You're getting things for free. If you don't like it, no one is forcing you to be here.

"I know I spoke to you first, but you replying is harassment!" No. It's just not. This is how the world works. If replies are on, and you speak publicly - and the internet is considered a public space, legally - then a person is allowed to reply.

"You replying means you're upset/angry/emotional!" No. You having to resort to that line does mean you don't have a good counterargument or good-faith reply, though.

"You don't like what I like?! You must be [insult here]" No. There are 8 billion people on Earth. Tastes vary. You can't make this a big deal.

"I don't think you can racebend/age up/age down/AU a character!" Then block me. Fiction is Play-Doh and I will sculpt it however I please.

"Unfollow me if you can't reblog this" I will. I will also block you. If you have to use guilt to get reblogs then you're trying to manipulate your audience. That is incredibly immature. I do not have time for this.

[iamthecomet]

I can say I'm not the type to send hate. However sometimes I get mean or sarcastic and people miss the joke. I've been blocked for shipping the characters that I ship and writing the tropes that I do. Which is just annoying because the very same people who block me are the ones talking about my stuff behind my back 😅🤣

Being on the internet is really hard sometimes. What I try to tell myself when I realize someone has blocked me, is that, they are allowed to curate their own internet experience. Not everyone is going to like what I do, or what I say, or how I write what i write. That's ok. I cannot make everyone happy. I shouldn't try. I get to be me, they get to be them, if we can't meet in the middle then that's ok. We don't have to. It takes all kinds to make the world work. What ISN'T cool is blocking someone and then bitching about them where they could still potentially see it. The internet really is like high school sometimes and I'm sorry that people are talking about your work like that behind your back in a way that means you know it's happening. I can't tell you that people shouldn't talk about you--people are people man and that's what they do. Should they be more discreet about it? yes. Should they try not be total assholes? Absolutely. People forget sometimes that even people who make things we don't like are still people. I absolutely get you about the mean/sarcasm bit too. I'm from the North Eastern USA, which is a place where people are known for being sort of cold, and unwelcoming, and sarcastic. It isn't just a stereotype (at least not in my irl community). So, online, I have to work really hard to remember tone tags, or to only talk in that sort of obnoxious, sarcasm, sort-of-mean way to people who know me well enough to know I don't mean it negatively. But that means that when I started talking to people on the internet I agonized about EVERYTHING I said, because I didn't want to accidentally make a joke that didn't land. It's hard to read tone on the internet, and not everyone is equipped with the same social skills or understands the same cues. It feels awful to be misunderstood--and to accidentally hurt someone when you were absolutely not intentionally doing it. And, on the other hand, it doesn't feel great to feel like you're masking who you are to be accepted. There's a middle ground...it took me a long time to find it. We have to meet people where they are, where ever it is. And be good to each other. Like, yes it's fine to block someone if they create content that you are upset by, but there's a respectful way to do that (which involves not being mean about it, especially where the person might see it). Ship and Let Ship. Kink and Let Kink. Don't like; Don't read. You know, all those things. I'm sorry that it's been hard for you, just know I get it. But also, working on not dwelling on what other people like or dislike about you will make your life (on the internet and in real life) so much less stressful. It's hard, and some days it's impossible, but holy fuck is it worth it.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I came across Fuegoleon slander again... Those people really have nothing better to do, especially since at the same time they're also so-called big fans of Mereoleona. What they don't realize that if Mereo was real would hear them talk about her brother that way, she would beat them up to hell in his defense. But at least, I'm happy to see that each Fue fan, even on twitter itself, always are proud and happy to love Fuegoleon Vermillion.

I don't see much of the hate in general, because I curate my online experience, but whenever it does cross my dash on some platform (honestly, Tumblr is the most peaceful place that I know of in terms of fandoms, but that's just my general impression from personal perspective, and what my moots have shared with me of their experiences) it usually seems like... an attempt to make another character seem better by putting down another character. And that's... the sandbox behaviour of "I need to put you down to stomp on you and make myself look taller". But the thing is, that's just feigned strength. No one I'd admire for their strength and grace would do that. As in, sure, you might not like some people (you might actually hate some people, which are other things because we, quite simply, don't like everyone, that's just a fact), but slandering them in order to boost your own image usually does the exact opposite.

I actually know someone like that irl. And he's a martial arts teacher. He puts down other people who have been training for a very long time, who are skilled, in order to make himself look even better. But the thing is... everyone hates him. Everyone sees the desperate attempt to boost his own image, and they think even less of him.

If I circle back to fandoms, and the Vermillions in this context, I think these people forget the Elf Arc where Mereo and Fue had the monologues, turned into a kind of a dialogue, about how they admire each other. Sure, Mereo's way of talking about Fue was more crude, along the lines of "he's too serious for his own good", but you need to be able to read the meaning behind the individual words said. Because what Mereo means is that "he is serious, he is responsible, and he cares about the kingdom to the point where he sleeps less than he should" for example.

Fuegoleon is what Mereo can't be, in a sense. As in, sure, Mereo could be the Wizard Queen by strength, and she's stronger in a battle than Fue (which is why she's in the front lines during the last arc), but the things that make a good King or Queen extend to more than your ability to cast powerful spells/have a lot of mana (if you believe that amount of mana alone counts, then you're an Auggie supporter in my eyes). Mereo isn't interested in pushing papers, or being around in the noble circles for that matter. And she couldn't feign wanting to do so for long, because that's not the kind of a person she is.

In that sense, Fuegoleon is doing what Mereo can't. Assume the position that requires the dry and dull aspects of being a knight, along with being a skilled fighter.

And Mereo would absolutely beat up anyone slandering her brother. Disown the people as her fans. (Or just scoff because she doesn't need to prove such senseless accusations as wrong, because they're evidently wrong.) Which is why I also find it easy to just wipe the table with such opinions. Because they're missing important parts of the narrative, trying to slander characters in order to make others look better, and aren't taking the time to really understand the characters or the story or the world in which said characters live.

Every Fue fan who love the character who he is at his very core (which is more than just the handsome MK captain with a lion thematic), will be proud to love him for who he is. And we will stay proud. Do no harm but take no shit. While also picking our battles. Some are worth it and some are not.

[fictionkinfessions]

THESE ARE ALL THE HETALIA RACIST SOURCE ASK RESPONSES. IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION REPLY OR REBLOG THIS POST. IM NOT POSTING ANY MORE ASK RESPONSE ABOUT THIS

I'M SHOVING THEM ALL INTO ONE POST BECAUSE YOU ALL HAVE A TERRIBLE HABIT OF READING PAST EACH OTHER AND PLAYING TELEPHONE GAME. NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT BECAUSE THEY GET PARTITIONED ON ON THE QUEUE. ANYWAYS.

THANKS FOR UDNERSTANDING.

READ MORE'D DUE TO LENGTH. CAPSLOCK CRUISE CONTRol deactivate.

Anonymous asked:

Some of y'all need to remember that it is not, in fact, morally wrong for people to make fanworks of your kin that you don't like. I'm not talking about legitimately problematic stuff, I'm talking about totally normal ships and interpretations you don't like. You don't get to be the fandom police, suck it up and just block people and tags that make you uncomfortable like the rest of us

Anonymous asked:

guys you can just… choose to not talk about certain kintypes, esp if you know they are from something harmful 😭 like, sure, on here it’s fine, that’s what the blog is for! but it supremely sucks seeing people defend their sources from criticism when the criticism genuinely is ‘this has so much racism/antisemitism/ableism/etc.’ i have kintypes from harmful media, i get it! i just… don’t talk about them, or if i DO i recognize the harm the media has caused, and boost the voices of those it affects. also, on this point: no one ever needs to feel guilty for kinning from smth - esp spiritual kin or someone who does not control it! just be understanding of the harm the Media does, and be respectful - thats it. idk, critical thinking and respecting others is so important.

Anonymous asked:

@ post/703018736627679232 - Would you rather someone be upfront about it on my list so you can block them and move on or befriend them not knowing and then only learn it way into a friendship? I've had the latter happen before as someone who kins from a problematic source (not Hetalia), which is why I mention it upfront.

Anonymous asked:

cannot believe we are actively having hetalia discourse in 2022. don't you guys have jobs

Anonymous asked:

Respectfully, it is not the responsibility of everyone else to suppress themselves when it comes to catering to some random individual's personal discomforts. It's up to you to curate your own online experience.

Block users! Block more tags (such as # racism cw)! Don't interact with content that bothers you! Nobody is forcing you to read, reply to, or send in your own asks about sources that are triggering to you.

Also, being kin doesn't mean you support or enjoy your source's creative origins, writing, or canon at all, obviously. Identity on this level is not a moral issue, it's just a fact of being.

Anonymous asked:

Boy some of y'all are missing the point of that guy's ask about Hetalia kins. The "stop kinning" thing might've been poor wording because yeah, most people can't simply not kin anymore, but you can absolutely stop engaging with the source, stop supporting it, not list your kintypes publicly.. I kin from Hetalia too and I simply don't talk about it publicly. I actually started keeping a diary where I write about my problematic sources and kins when I get the urge to talk about it. It's helped a lot more than I thought it would, honestly. Maybe some of y'all should try that too?

Anonymous asked:

Hmmm MPC, if it’s okay, could you add on to my Hetalia ask (the one signed from a biracial POC) the addition that the anon I think was very out of line was the one who claimed only the English dub was racist, however, I was already seeing people say this before that ask, so don’t think those comments are only directed at them?

(I felt a little bad about singling someone out, but the more I think about it, I really do need to clarify that. Sorry for a SECOND discourse ask now!)

Anonymous asked:

Okay sorry to add to the discourse but I think some people are seriously conflating “kins a character from a show” to “enjoys the show.” To me, someone liking Hetalia is one of the biggest red flags, but idk why we’re acting like kintypes can be helped. They can SOMETIMES be suppressed healthily, but not always!

I totally get if you don’t want to interact with Hetaliakin. I’m not sure I could comfortably, tbh. But people keep saying stuff like “how dare you ignore the racism in that show and act like nothing is wrong with it,” when I don’t think a single person defending the ‘kin from it has said anything like that. -A mixed POC

Anonymous asked:

wrt 703034476015566848 - yes, there was someone in the replies of one of the (many) hetalia posts blaming you for their being triggered because the post was "untagged" … even though if you use blacklist properly it blocks any post with the blocked word (in this case "hetalia") even if its untagged, so its just kind of on them and i dont like seeing people put responsibility on strangers for their own caretaking lmao. sorry if commenting on it was out of place though.

Anonymous asked:

Hetalia discussion: idk why this is a discussion at all. It's between a kin identity and a history of oppression and genocide and real people's trauma and discomfort. Genuinely how is this discourse. What's more important.

[alectoperdita]

Since you've touched on the topic of noncon in fics before if you're comfortable answering I wanted to ask something.

Or if you'd rather answer privately feel free to vague post and I can DM or like the post or something so you can dm if your messages are closed.

Ok, the question: In any verse be it canon or au, if Seto had been too late to stop something like that from happening to Jou, or even if he was forced to watch, how would they both deal with that? Would Jou close up emotionally? Would Seto be angry at himself? Etc. Just how do you think the aftermath would go

Sure, I have no problem talking about that here as this is an ask made in good faith. If I'm willing to publicly post fic about it, I'm okay talking about what goes into constructing that fictional scenario.

Answered under the cut cuz cw: noncon, standard "don't like, don't read; i trust you're a mature adult who curates their online experience plz" rules on my blog

So I don't think much about noncon except in specific AUs. Cuz honestly, doing something like that to either of my faves makes me kinda sad when it's their canon(-adjacent) selves.

But Lure and all its myriads of little terrible spinoffs? That's where I like to stow the rest of my darkfic writing inclinations anyway.

Soooo there is a noncon story idea for Lure which is tentatively set late in Year 2, so months after Tributary and Fill me with sweetness and cream. The setup is that Jounouchi is kidnapped and used as a hostage to extort money from Kaiba. Kaiba receives both photos and videos of Jounouchi being beaten and raped. It is also a revenge ploy against both of them executed by Hirutani crawling out of the woodwork.

The main focus of the story is on what happens afterward, though, after Jounouchi has been rescued. Now, this is a universe where Jounouchi understands himself as mainly having value to Kaiba in sexual terms. Yeah, they have a weird twisted affection growing between them like fungus at this point (trauma bonding yay), but Jounouchi is still Kaiba's pet first and foremost. While he was kidnapped, he was pretty sure he wasn't even going to be rescued.

And now? His worth is devalued in a way. What if Kaiba no longer wants him after this? Considers him broken? Kicks him to the street? Jounouchi is worried about how this can impact his material future because he is still dependent on Kaiba for housing and food. Yes, there's also the messy emotional stuff in the background, hitting some old fears about being abandoned and discarded.

Kaiba is enraged with the situation. But in this case, he also has specific culprits to blame and punish, which will become the main target of his rage. (Hirutani not gonna have a good time to put it lightly lol). Surprisingly, he's not mad at Jounouchi, though. He understands Jounouchi as having resisted and fought back to the best of his abilities.

But as for how he acts toward Jounouchi? A little brisk at time, but no more than before. He is careful not to touch Jounouchi, and mostly leaves Jounouchi alone to recover in his room. Because that's what he should do in this case??? Lure!Kaiba trying to reach for some compassion here and executing clumsily. Because in his view, whatever shit he may have dubconed Jounouchi into in the past, he never raped-raped Jounouchi. He's not going to force himself on an injured person. He's not a complete monster, kthnx.

Hilariously (or not so hilariously), Kaiba's clumsy attempts at compassion make Jounouchi feel worse. Because Kaiba doesn't seek him out as much or touch him, does that mean he no longer wants Jounouchi? It sharpens Jounouchi's desperation. He's not horny or aroused per se, but he is looking for signs that Kaiba still intends to keep him around. Because if Kaiba won't have sex with him, what worth does he still have to him?

Not to mention the cognitive dissonance of "what is wrong with me? I literally got raped last week but I'm losing my mind wishing someone, well Kaiba, forces himself on me but in a way that I like."

Obviously, this is untenable in the long run. They're individually so emotionally volatile for their own reasons. Eventually, Kaiba does want to fuck Jounouchi rabid because he's a possessive bastard (Jounouchi is his dammit!), and ironically that's probably what will give Jounouchi the most peace of mind in this moment (reinforces he still has "value").

So part of the reason neither of them has made any move on the other is because they've been waiting for the results of Jounouchi's STD tests, which can take up to 2-4 weeks for the most major concerns. They have literally never gone that long without sex since they first started. So once Jounouchi's results finally come back clean, he gets it into his head that he needs to just rip off the band-aid and seduce Kaiba. If Kaiba's willing to fuck him, then maybe he's still good. If he won't, well, then he knows his days are numbered.

Kaiba has been waiting on the results for another reason. Because it's going to affect how he makes Hirutani suffer for what he did.

Ultimately, Kaiba will also offer Jounouchi a chance to take some revenge for himself. Hand him the knife, if you will.

And that's all I'm going to say about this one in case I ever do write this one in full.

Like I said, this is a scenario very specific to their characterization in this AU. But I tend to think Kaiba, even canon-wise, is quite capable of some murderous tendencies when presented with the proper motive.

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

screenshots that drive me up the wall 11/10 times

can we all just... not hand these assholes a wider platform by making them a meme and sharing it around? i thought we all agreed that deplatforming bigotry was a good thing

at this rate we’re gonna become facebook if we keep hosting content designed to outrage people on the grounds that it drives engagement more

[ffwriteradvisor]

I've never really commented on controversies in the fanfiction writing community. Part of it was that I didn't want to feel that anyone visiting this blog was being pressured to adjust their beliefs either way, but part of it was that I didn't want to apply that pressure to myself here - I wanted to avoid arguments.

But, I can't in good faith continue to pursue that neutrality. Because it has come to a point where it's just allowing ignorance to fester.

I'm not a... proper fandom old, in my mind. I was never on any mailing list, I wasn't online at the time of Strikethrough and I was never personally impacted by the 2012 purges on FFnet - probably because I wasn't popular and because the (short lived) smut I put there simply was too tame to consider banishing. Same with the Tumblr porn purge for the most part.

But I at least tried to stay aware of the history. To know the rules and outlines to being a 'good' member of fandom. Formatting fics well, tagging properly, putting up content warnings where applicable when it came to common triggers and squicks while looking out for those that I didn't care for myself, and not getting into fights over who's fictional characters were better suited for each other.

It was never complicated. If you don't like it, you don't read it. If the writer places a warning sign up for a certain thing, you go in with the expectation that thing will be there. Leave a nice comment when you leave, if that's at all possible.

But that's apparently too difficult for some people.

So let me put it simply; the minute you decide that you're going to use someone's fandom creation or opinions as an excuse to attack them, be it through false reports or physical assault or nasty messages, you have become the bad guy.

I don't care if the person you're attacking was shipping two fictional teenagers. I don't care if their favorite ship is 'toxic'. I don't care if they were writing RPF. I don't care if they drew horny art. I don't care if the character they like is 'problematic' or 'glorifies bad behavior'.

It is all based in fiction. The characters are not real. The things those characters do have no impact on reality. The situations are not real. A picture of a fictional character in a sexual situation is not equivalent to a real person.

The only real people who are being potentially harmed are the artists you choose to abuse because of something that isn't real and those that have entered a space without doing their own due diligence beforehand. And I only have sympathy for the former.

Yes, I know that you can accidentally run into something you wish that you hadn't seen in fandom spaces. It has happened to me many times. And do you know what I've done in response? I learned to tag my things appropriately, put warnings in so that people know what they're walking into. I also made an effort to be better at curating my own experience; if someone I follow has begun posting things I don't care for - I unfollow and leave it at that. If that fails, I block.

I do not pretend to exist on some kind of flawless moral pedestal - I know my failings and I work to improve on them every day of my life. But I also know for a fact that the behavior far too many people are exhibiting in fandom spaces is unacceptable and that every precedent for it ever seen before has only ended in tragedy and tears.

I'm sure that there's plenty of people who can find a bad faith argument in my post - I'm not going to spend the time going back over it to find every potential hole and patch it over before release, because regardless of how 'perfectly' I try to word these feelings, it won't matter to someone who really wants to start a fight.

Because that's all this is about for these fandom Puritanicals - finding a fight wherever they can find one and using it to drag whoever disagrees with them through the mud so they can come out looking spotless in comparison.

It doesn't matter to them if the warning tag on a fic is covering discussion of war crimes. It doesn't matter if a writer puts a warning about suicide on their story so that way people who are triggered by that know not to go in. It's all about being able to point at someone and say 'this person thinks about terrible things and is a terrible person for it'.

They want to be able to point their finger at someone they don't like and say 'I saw Goody Proctor with the Devil', except it's about Goody Proctor even thinking about the Devil existing outside of a narrow 'acceptable' context.

[what-remains-of-wren]

FAQ: The Thing I point To When I Really Can’t Be Bothered.

See, when I first started this account I was a fucking child. I’m now an adult with an autoimmune disorder caused by the trauma I’ve been through, plus, I have a job and a life. I am in pain and exhausted every single day now because the stress I went through as a young child warped my body’s ability to recognise friend or foe, and I now produce antibodies to a key component of oxidative phosphorylation, the main way your (and mine) body produces energy.

Long story short, I feel like shit. All the time. My capacity for dealing with other people’s shit is greatly reduced.

“Why are you such a jackass?”

See above: always in pain and always tired. In adition, I was raised in a cult. I had no friends and spent the majority of my time alone. I never learnt how to socialise like a neurotypical so I might as well embrace looking like a prick. I also barely socialize. I don't really need social interaction. I don't mind it, I just don't require it to function. 

“I like you. Can we be mutuals?”

My instinctive reaction is "are you okay" but I know some people don't mind my tone and like my content when I remember that this blog exists. The answer is yes- if you follow me I'll probably follow back. It's tumblr, I follow hundreds of blogs and half of them don't post anymore. Curate your own experience.

Also if you're expecting me to message you as a mutual, like, don't? I treasure my mutuals but I'm really bad with direct messages so I just lurk in your notes and occasionally like things. If that suits you then we'll do great.

“Why do you emphasise your surname so much?”

I like having a full name. Gives me more gravitas which a 5'2" ISTJ shut-in doesn't otherwise have. Yes, I am 5'2". Bodily.

Do you have any hobbies?

I draw. I write. I code and I get into places I shouldn’t be. I spend most of my time indoors since sunlight destroys my DNA, so I spend a lot of time online, reading, or otherwise whiling away the time. I’m learning German and trying to solve a seventy-five year old legal mystery. I like law, criminal and international criminal law, and I collect and restore rosary beads. I’m listening to music pretty much 24/7 when I’m not on shift or asleep - I always half jokingly say it’s to block out the voices.

Why do you have DID?

This one I get more than I’d like, I think because I mention that we were raised in a very peculiar way. Short answer, is it’s not really any of your business unless we’re close friends, and even then there’s stuff I can’t talk about- or won’t- until we’ve processed it a bit more. Long answer, is that when we were very young we were not really given a chance to develop in a way that a normal person would, and not only has that made a bit of a mess of our body in a way that will potentially kill us, it’s made a bit of a mess of all the different facets that would normally make up a person actually becoming a singular person. 

I have genuinely been asked if I’m a survivor of specific traumas or not on this platform to ‘prove’ I have the right to talk about a specific topic. My answer to that is, for one, I don’t talk about things I don’t know about, because I have a little self restraint, and for two, if you’re expecting me to come with boy scout badges for every nasty thing that’s happened to me, we better have a damn big shirt to sew them on to.

“Kill yourself/you should die/I hope you die/[other unoriginal hate message]”

I exist only to spite you. Sorry. Enjoy knowing that I live with a condition that makes me far more likely to have blood clots than a regular person, and any given moment I could drop dead of a stroke or a pulmonary embolism and yet I remain alive to spite you.

“You're too online. [Some random shit] doesn't exist in real life/I have X opinion and you have Y. Why can't you see [insert rant]?”

Adults can do what adults want. If you’re going to pull “oh but children are impressionable” if some 14 year old on the internet wants a circus themed gender I couldn't care less. They can try their luck with it in real life, but that’s not my problem.

As for syscourse, I literially can't be bothered to discourse on someone else's identity and I hate semantics arguments. If you don't a demographic around there's this amazing thing called a DNI. Me having DID does not mean I have to bully people or be some stellar advocate just by virtue of existing. I am not obligated to be an activist. I can't be bothered, nor do I feel the need to.

“Why do you follow [problematic person]?”

I don't background check who I follow and I'm not going to make a habit of it. Unless the discourse shows up on my dash I'm not gonna seek it out. Just because I follow someone doesn’t mean I agree with every aspect of their life, but we should all well know by now, monsters hide in plain sight all the time. I can never know if someone is a person I want to endorse so I just fucking don’t.

Also I rarely block people unless they're not someone I want on this blog or they're those "wanna see my nudes" bots. Tumblr, whilst barely functional in some areas, allows you to curate your experience pretty well without blocking people.

That being said this is something I am willing to talk about but in the end I can follow someone for my own purposes and simultaneously be aware their content is sometimes insensitive and not actively platform them for that reason.

“You're faking DID/DID isn't real/I posted you on syscringe/reddit/[other fakeclaim]”

I curate parts of our online presence specifically to generate traffic from people like you. I am genuinely serious. If me simply just minding my own business with other systems will get me fake claimed, I might as well go all in cringe, right? It's just entertaining for me. Better me than a younger, newer system who might not have the solid foundations I do.

If you think I'm going to post about the bad shit on the fucking internet- on a public blog -and not to a professional you are seriously mistaken. The internet is my "troll around" space, not "talk about my trauma" space. In addition, I am not your trauma porn. Survivors are not inspirational. Suck my dick.

“What do you think of [drama/discourse/current affairs] situation?”

Ask me once I’ve had my coffee and my painkillers. 9/10 I don’t have the energy to engage in the regular newsflow.

“Do you support [identity]?”

I think "do I support" is a funny phrasing for an identity. You don't "support" someone else's identity or "agree with" it because you don't actually get a say in it. If it's good faith and it's not actually hurting other people people can call themselves what they want and I don't care. Half the time I'm totally unqualified to give an opinion on these things. I just don't care what other people want to ID as.

“If you say you support everyone, do you support MAPs/Zoophiles?”

Children and animals can't consent. Non-consensual things are wrong. You should not have to ask me this. I feel like it’s kind of obvious.

“Are you pro-ship or anti?”

I'm asexual and neurodivergent. I don’t read fanfic or ship people. Don't expect me to take sides on issues I’m not familar with. Same goes for mspec lesbian discourse. I'm quite clearly not a lesbian. I defer to people have a fucking clue.

So that's the FAQ. I'll add to it over time, I'm sure, and I hope this saves me having to troll people who send me hate in the future. Leaves time to formulate nice answers to people who are here for genuine reasons and want genuine advice.

Live well and all that.

- Charlie