#i've been waiting for stories where she isn't dead

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Would love it if spider had his own kinda magical thing going on like. No he cannot connect with the spirit tree to communicate with the ancestors but u bet he can see ghosts wandering around

Oh my God what a concept. This mother fucker is just spending his day to day life being haunted by Tsu'tey, Grace, and Sylwanin as they guide him through his day to day actions and help explain to him the actions of Jake and Neytiri and the others. He's all of a sudden a fucking wise old man in a toddler body because he'll be sitting with Mo'at and all of a sudden he's reminding her to take a break at noon before she gets faint like Eytukan used to every single day, or he tells Neytiri to watch her toes near the cookfire like Sylwanin would every night when she was little and she was too eager to get her food. Everyone is scared of him for a while, but Mo'at is obsessed. She's like "this kid is closer to Eywa than all of us!" Eventually everyone comes around, but I think it takes Neytiri the longest, because of how eerie it is how he looks at her and the words that come from his mouth aren't his sometimes.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I know we're all focused on Satyr/Faun König but that bull comment... I'm quite partial to minotaur's and whats better than a darling who isn't from the area. Oh yes she's innocent of the crimes against König because she was not raised there.

Some foreign little creature just running blind in a maze trying to see where there might be a way out. It's been days after all and the screaming has gotten quieter and she wonders if she's the last one left alive. He takes his time eating his meals... this can be stretched out for such a long time as she hides herself in a dead end just a short rest... the darling is so tired unaware of the horrifyingly silent steps moving closer to her little haven. It's just her left now.

@kit-williams I've wanted to write for Minotaur!König for ages!

Minotaur!König x Ariadne!Reader Word count: 5 k oneshot Tags/warnings: Sexual tension, threats of violence and rape, implied cannibalism, power imbalance, moral ambiguity. Predator/prey dynamic, Beauty and the Beast elements, Ancient Greek religion & lore. 18+ MDNI A/N: The Minotaur in this story is not an actual hybrid. Reader is Hecate’s initiate. Merry Christmas y'all! <3

The screams are the worst part.

They echo through the Labyrinth while you wait and wait and wait.

Even the very stones seem to cry and wail as you place your hope on Theseus who descended to this hell along with you and the human cattle. Seven young men and seven unwed women, meant to satisfy a beast...

And judging by the screams alone, it sounds like the monster is satisfied. It sounds like it's having a ball.

Fourteen lives have been lost, their blood swallowed by the earth as if Hades himself is drinking the crimson of Athenian youth in His feast. The flesh is the beast’s to devour: an underworld demon born of tainted lust.

Half bull, half man, you always thought the stories were only tales told by the fire to scare children. Turns out that the stories, for once, are true. There's something even worse in this maze, something cursed and foul... Hecate herself would shiver if She were here, in the womb of the earth, witnessing what you’re witnessing now.

You don’t actually see the Bull of Crete cut or hack or slash anyone, and you can only imagine what the monster does to the bloody, gutted corpses of the young. The only thing you see are the hollow, dark walls carved out of soil, sand, and clay, the intestine-like route dug deep into the earth. And you don't have to see the massacre: the screams tell you enough. The silence that follows betrays even more.

Your only light is flickering, waning: the candle will hardly last an hour. If the hero from Athens won’t arrive soon, you will have to leave this place. 

And oh, how you want to leave… You were a fool to follow him here. Blinded by love and hope, you thought Theseus of Athens would be your way out of Crete, but it’s clear that the only thing the young hero is capable of loving is fame. The only time his eyes turned to yours was when you said you might be able to help him with a small bundle of yarn.

Red as the setting sun or spilling blood, the thin woollen string is your only way out now. It’s ironic how a heap of twine is the only thing that can help you out of this hellhole, but the Fates always did possess a cruel sense of humour. Your silly daydreams might’ve cost your life, and even if you’re sworn to the dark goddess, you would rather die anywhere but here. In the darkness, all alone, with nothing but eyeless worms to keep company to your decaying bones.

The sudden draft from the outside world is warm but threatens to blow out your candle. It’s a sign from Apollo: if you don’t leave now, you’re dead. Theseus has to manage without you because you’re not dying in this underworld prison because of some man’s stupid lust for fame.

There's only deafening silence in the maze as you scurry up, taking support from the wall as your sight darkens for a moment. You rose too soon: you can’t even remember the last time you ate. And it appears that even the sun god has abandoned you because there's a faint echo of steps in the tunnel, and they don’t belong to a man. They’re too thick, unduly heavy, and it’s not a pair of sandals that are thumping against the soil.

So, Theseus is dead...

So much for the legend, the myth, the demigod.

Heart thumping in your chest and in the hollow of your throat, it threatens to drown the sound of approaching footsteps. They’re all dead, the people who descended here with you. The only thing you are right now is prey. You're being hunted; whether the Minotaur knows you're here or not, you know you're being hunted. You can feel it in your gut.

You cover the candle with one hand, hoping that the flickering light doesn’t reach around the bend. The falling thump of the footsteps stops, and you still your breath, hoping that the beast would turn around and search the other way.

You hear it sniffing behind the wall. It's trying to catch your scent in the air, the smell of dread and terror, sweat so thick it must reach his nostrils and make them flare with lust. Your heart is thundering in your chest, and the tunnel is so quiet that that you’re certain the creature will hear that, too. (Your heart always betrays you.)

And your luck is cursed.

The beast shifts. 

You can’t see him yet, but you can hear it: the scraping sound underneath his feet as he aligns himself anew, choosing the path that leads straight down to you.

“Hecate save me,” you whisper into the air that seems to grow denser as he approaches, loud thumps of feet now accompanied by metal grating against clay. 

“Hear me, flame-bearing guide... Darkness, protect me…”

He’s dragging bronze against the wall, announcing that he’s carrying a weapon with him, the strength of a bull apparently not satisfying enough if he wants to break your bones with metal.

Don’t blow out the candle... 

If you blow it out, you’ll die.

It’s a clear message, a knowing voice in your head that says it. It’s not young, it’s not old: just knowing. Alert. Wise beyond ages. 

So you still your breath and wait.

Shadows fill the curve of the tunnel just before he emerges: thick like thunder, a darkness so deep that even the name of the twilight goddess escapes your tongue. 

And he’s big. Bigger than the bulls you used to dance with, bigger than kings, or heroes, bigger than even Theseus, the man you thought was a myth walking. His head is enormous, bigger than the rest of him, awkward and rough like it’s not quite part of him even though he’s supposed to be half ox. 

The gigantic, horned figure stops when it sees you. Vast shoulders tense; the fat, double-edged sword falls to his side when he settles to loom between you and your only way to escape this place. You’re oddly thankful that the horrible screeching stopped, but then you notice that his blade is drenched in blood: actually, his torso, thighs, even the buckskin loincloth – the only garment this monster has chosen to wear – is spattered with red dots. 

The bronze tip drips with crimson, and the earth drinks it all. Hades is never satisfied: this beast is never full. Everyone who was sent down here is dead: everyone else has met their doom except you. You wonder if your mother would cry if she heard her only daughter died because she fell in love with a fool.

“I killed your hero,” the walls of hell boom. 

His voice is thick like tar, dark and foul like it’s the God of Earth himself speaking.

The flame in your hand quivers from fear, and you slowly remove your palm, the tiny candle illuminating the beast with warm homely yellow, making the prominent muscles of his chest even bigger. 

He’s carved like the statues in Athens, only, this giant is far hairier than the painted marble heroes of the city. The hair on his chest is thick and wild; it shoots down his abdomen and disappears underneath the loincloth, spreads over his inner thighs, even covers his shins in dark mats. He looks like a wild man, a beast indeed: sweaty, filthy and thick. But you never knew a beast like him could talk…

“A coward, that one,” he snarls, the voice reverberating oddly like it’s a human man speaking from under a wooden mask or inside a clay jug.

And you believe every word he says.

Theseus was strong and able-bodied, but he had built his strength just to show it off. This man’s body speaks of pure, ripe survival.

A hulking shadow with shoulders that barely fit the tunnels of the Labyrinth, with palms nearly twice the size of yours, he’s the myth walking instead of the hero whose blood now adorns that dull bronze blade. The Minotaur who survived his father’s wrath, his mother’s absence, these bleak surroundings, and all the heroes sent down to get his head… His weapon isn’t even sharp anymore, and still, he managed to cut through the sacrificial humans like butter. And what a horrific death it must’ve been to be hacked to pieces by a dull blade.

Is it evil of you to hope that the death of your “hero” wasn’t a quick one…?

Theseus was a fool and a coward, rotten to the core, but you saw all of that too late. He never cared about the human sacrifices or the king’s wrath; he never cared about digging into Pasiphae’s sorrow. He only cared about getting his face depicted on a pot or having his deeds played out in amphitheatres, his name uttered in song, accompanied by harp and flute.

“I know.”  

Your voice gets sucked into the earth: it doesn’t echo from the walls like his. It’s thin, damp, and frail, just like everything else meant to walk under the sun instead of stand buried under the earth.

But the beast before you tilts its head a little. It’s curious. 

Why would you say that? 

Why don’t you cry from hearing the news...? Why don’t you howl out your hero’s name and beg the gods to heed your grief? Why don’t you run away from a monster?

The candlelight is puny and weak, but it’s bright enough to bring out the eyes of an animal. You draw breath in the dampness of the earth when you finally see it: the bull’s head is devoid of eyes, and yet, the beast still has them. Blue as the summer sky, stern as the death grip of winter just before spring.

There’s nothing but ripped shreds of skin where the eyes should be, and instead of looking at you from the sides, they’re greeting you from the front. The horns are sturdy, but otherwise, the colossal head is a bit skewed... Thick patches of fur sticking out as if it was years and years old, and then – you realize it’s not his head; it’s only an illusion. 

There’s a man under there. A full, grown man who’s made himself a terrible helmet out of a bull’s carcass. 

“You’re a man,” you say out loud, earning yourself another shift of the colossal head.

“...What?”

The muffled echo confirms it: he’s speaking from inside the bull, moving only slightly to get a better look at you. 

“You’re not a monster. You’re just a man.”

His eyes are wild but intelligent; they pierce you from inside the inanimate shield. The large chest heaves, his ribs flare like sails as he draws air through what must be the foul stench of a long-dead animal.

He takes a step, and you shrink, almost dropping your candle and the roll of red yarn.

“You think talking will save you, female?”

He speaks like a man, walks like a man, but his moves are an animal’s. Shoulders slightly hunched like he’s a bull about to attack, you recognize the way his muscles quiver from the times when you used to do bull leaping. You don’t dance with Rhea’s oxen anymore: your tasks at Hecate’s temple are more suitable and less wild for a maiden your age. Back when you were younger and more agile, you used to jump from the back of one bull to the next, clouds of dust swirling around you as you showed your prowess to the priests.

But you can’t charm this ox by dancing. This one can’t be tricked or fooled: he will pierce you with those horns or his brazen sword if you take even a step.

“I can get you out of here,” you wet your lips, noticing that the blue eyes shoot straight to your mouth when you do that. “I know the way out.”

“What makes you think I want out,” he says, so tight and tense that you fear he’s either about to leap at your throat or plunge his sword into your chest.

And you should be concerned about your own safety, not about his sensibilities – if he even has such things – but hearing this beast man’s reply is like drinking bile. 

Why would anyone want to stay here?

You don’t know if he eats human flesh; you don’t know if he had to in order to survive. Everyone knows why his father threw him down here, but no one knows he’s not half the things the people above say he is. And if half of it isn’t true, what other lies have been told about the Minotaur? 

Even most prisoners see the sun, yet this man has been deprived of that, too. He’s been robbed of mother’s love, of father’s mercy, of friends and foes, of mentors and guides. He’s been robbed of life, of stars, of fires and summer skies, of women’s giggles, of fistfights with fellow men. Of songs and plays, of festivals and games, of bull dances, and maidens that leap…

“Have you ever been up there…? On the surface?”

You turn your voice into soft water on pebbles, a soothing pour of persuasion and goodwill. His pecs contract, strong abs under thin hair and body fat bunch like you’re about to hit him there. You take a step, and now it’s his turn to shun away. It’s only half an inch, but he actually moves away from you. 

“I can take you there,” you offer gently. “Have you ever seen the sun…?”

It’s like talking to a starved predator, trying to entice them to follow you with a fresh steak in hand, hoping that the fanged mouth won’t take more than was promised if it decides to accept the offering.

And the beast accepts. 

“As a boy,” he grunts, a tad more softly. 

Those eyes are fixed on you, reminding you of horses when they’re slightly afraid. The glint of white and blue behind the carcass is fiercely alive, quite unlike the hollow, disinterested stare of the Athenian hero who was only interested in himself.

But this beast is interested. Oh, the Bull Man of Crete is wildly, fiercely curious about you. 

“You’ll take me to the sun,” he repeats, an affirmation rather than a question.

“Yes. To the surface. I promise.”

He moves. Like an animal who learned long ago to drive others into the corner so that he wouldn’t get forced there himself, he’s primal, sensual in the way that oracles in a trance are sensual.

Approaching you in silence that’s almost eerie, the hairs at the nape of your neck stand on end by the time he’s only an arm’s length away. Why announce his coming earlier if he can move so quietly?

“You’ll lead me to my father.” 

His gaze bores into you, and not even the warm draft from the tunnels can prevent you from shivering. He’s distrustful, and it’s no wonder. It must be odd that some girl with a candle and a bundle of yarn is suddenly waiting for him around the bend, and doesn’t even flee. He’s a behemoth, but he’s not stupid. A stupid man would not have been able to survive, let alone thrive in this place.

And why should he trust you? Who is he supposed to trust in this maze when every person he has seen has either run away from him or tried to kill him? His father will slaughter him if he ever escapes the Labyrinth, so what else is a priestess in his kingdom but a squealing mouse, trying to feed him lies and then guide him to the surface and into a forest of spears? 

“No,” you shake your head slowly. “No, I promise I know the way. There will be no soldiers–”

You shut your mouth just before a huge palm closes around your throat. 

Gods, but he moves fast when he wants to… 

The candle and the yarn drop the instant his hand seizes your neck, strong fingers nearly meeting at the back as he squeezes your windpipe ever so slowly.

And he’s so close now. The carcass reeks of death, but the man underneath stinks of plain human sweat. His musk is a peculiar mix of blood, earth and soil, something both stale and invigorating, the thin sheen of sweat and dirt covering his muscles making him look like a common builder. It’s strange that the bull’s head hasn’t yet decayed in this place, that the man doesn’t reek of bodies and bones that must be scattered around like debris further down the tunnels. 

Another thing that’s strange is that he doesn’t seem to want to simply silence you.

He also wants to touch you.

A wide thumb strokes the underside of your jaw as he studies you. It slides down the column of your throat, the blue eyes gleaming with fascination when you swallow against him.

He drinks in the sight of you: the lips that part with fear, the frail collarbones that breathe against the side of his palm. The promising crevice between your breasts, the enticing softness of your teats. 

You can hear his breath grow heavy under ox skin and bone, the rugged, vicious helmet he has chosen to wear. What lies under, you can only imagine, wherein he has little left to the imagination when taking in the curve of your breasts, your nipples rising to peaks under the thin white linen only temple virgins use. 

Seeing your reaction to his touch makes him growl -- he actually growls like an animal, a deep, low rumble of approval rising up his throat when he sees how different your body is from his. How supple and cushy it is, soft and plump like a peach, covered only barely as if to tease a best like him. You wonder if he ever took pleasure in the maidens sent here by the king… If he ever thrust the sword between his legs into their weak bodies before giving them the mercy of his actual blade. Would he even know what to do with a woman, having lived here for so long?

“Please,” you whisper, bringing his eyes back to yours, the ice in them now liquid sapphire of pure want. 

Gods… You need to bring his attention back to your offer of help before he sees it more compelling to just stay here and play with his new, plump little mouse. Virgin or not, you wouldn’t survive a mating with this man. 

“I swear on Hecate’s torch that it’s not a trap. You have my word: I’m a priestess soon to be.”

He’s entranced. Hypnotized by your lips. You lick them to confirm your fears true: the man grunts with pleasure, out of instinct, absentmindedly like an animal who reacts to the sight of a fat, meaty bone. 

Oh, he might not know what to do with a woman… But he would try his best to find out. 

“Priestess…?” He rasps.

“It’s a holy woman,” you explain. “I serve the Goddess of the Crossroads.”

He snorts, either because he’s not impressed or because he’s downright amused by your vocation. The eyes, warmer, more demanding now, are far from the eyes of a bewildered beast.

“Little female of the crossroads... You will take me to the king. And then, I will kill him.”

He puts weight into his words, tries to make you understand. 

He wants you to guide him to his father. 

To the King who claims his son is half bull, to the husband who claims his wife was adulterous with an ox. To the King who demands tribute as virgins so that he can send them down to hell. The dark goddess screams justice, but you're at a horrible stalemate.

The gods will curse you for this… They will smite you with a bolt of lightning or drown you next time you cross the great sea if they see you’ve helped this half-beast escape. If you guide him to Minos, you’re a participant in kingslaying, and the gods never forget things like that.

“He’s your father and the king of Crete,” you whisper in fear. “The gods will strike you down–”

“Gods?” He spits. “I piss on the gods. I fuck their corpses and leave them to rot.”

You almost choke on the blasphemy levelled at you. The shadows creep closer, the stare behind the black fur is dark and amused, burning with the crooked wrath of a thousand years. 

“Perhaps I’ll fuck you too.”

It’s unnerving that you don’t find the threat wholly unappealing.

If anything, your eyes drift down to the hairs of his chest, to the two big muscles that resemble the work of the best sculptors in Athens. 

“Are you a virgin, female of the crossroads?”

His eyes search for your response: they want to see your fear and disgust. You swallow again, arduously against his hand, both caressing and testing you. 

The beast leans forward, as if weighing if he could somehow insult the gods by pillaging you. The rough hair of his chest meets the white cloth, it brushes against your nipples as he bends down to have a good sniff of you.

“You smell like a virgin,” he growls.

The hand leaves your throat, only to travel down your sternum. He grabs your breast nonchalantly, a little too roughly, the hot palm closing around the teat and squeezing it like it’s a toy. When you don’t react, he squeezes it again, this time hard enough to coax a whimper out of you.

“Sound like a virgin…”

Without warning, the hand dives straight between your legs next, palm forcing its way through your thighs and curving to cup your sex, moulding around it with barbaric thirst.

“Feel like a virgin, too.”

It’s thick, hot, and heavy, how he simply tries you through your dress. Fingers testing your folds, he’s clearly enjoying the subtle wetness he finds down there. You can hear another hitched grunt pushing up his throat, rugged and whiny this time, a broken groan that dissipates because of how dry his throat is. 

No man has ever dared to lay his hands on you... Many have wanted, but none have tried. Even drunkards and fools respect women who belong to the dark goddess.

But he doesn’t care about the wrath of Hecate. He doesn’t give a shit about the gods. He simply takes what he wants, what falls into his lap. The fifteenth offering, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in devouring your flesh. 

How easily he could simply yank that loincloth aside and drag your dress up. Force his cock into your tight, wet heat without uttering a word. You doubt that he would even take the trouble of laying you down on the ground for taking... Beasts rut when they want to: this man could fuck you against this wall if his loins demanded so, guttural groans being the last thing you hear before the candle goes out. 

You don’t know if you have to spread your legs for him before this is over, but you reckon you will do even that if it means you’ll see the sun again. You’ll endure every thick thrust, and gods be cursed, you wouldn’t even be solely disgusted if this half-animal chose to breed you... As shameful as it is, you would somewhat enjoy having him rut you like an animal in heat.

And you’ve gone mad, surely. 

You want to touch him too, just to test another theory. 

Deciding that it's a good idea to stick your hand into the maw of hell, your fingers lift. They meet his bicep, and the lewd panting stops.

He’s not even breathing… He’s just drowsy and drunk, looking at you with a mixture of soft sleepiness and awe in his stare. Like a dog who has never been petted, even his eyes drift half closed when he forgets to threaten you, now focusing solely on your hand. 

And you start to caress him, slowly, so slowly… Tracing the muscle all the way up where it meets the shoulder, you stroke even the thick cord that leads to his neck. The rest of him disappears under the bull, but the man behind it already shivers under your touch. He even bends his head a little in hopes that you would go under the mask and touch him there, and the gesture reminds you of an animal exposing its vulnerable areas, baring its very throat in submission. 

Braving a quick peek down, you notice that the buckskin cloth is stretched high and wide. His whole body is tense and immobile: you could cup him through the soft animal skin and he would probably shoot his seed from a single stroke of your palm. 

If this is not a virgin, you don’t know what is...

In a way, it would perhaps be wise to shove your hand down and disarm this man. That way, you would be safe for a few more minutes. Instead, you lay your palm over his chest, right over where his heart should be. 

“So do you, Bull of Crete...”

His gaze flickers.

The darkness hesitates, widens, nearly swallows the azure pools whole. But he doesn’t look irate or wild... Only shocked.

It’s an impasse. A thicket. His hand on you, your hand on him.

He surrenders first: the underworld budges before the utterly pure. You bless him with grace the instant he withdraws his hand from between your legs – slowly, reluctantly, like leaving a place that belongs to him. Or to which he belongs…

“I promise I’ll help you, Minos Tauros. But I need you to give me something in return.”

You remove your hand too. Softly, slowly, like a horse master who trains and tames wild things. All words seem to have escaped his tongue: he only grunts, unsure of what a beast like him could give you in return for your help.

“You must promise to be kind to me.”

“Kind...?”

“I need you to behave,” you explain. “No bad things on the way up... No fucking.”

Everything else, he seems to accept, but during the last sentence the Minotaur blinks at you, utterly confused.

“But... You smell like you want to fuck.” 

Your jaw drops open a tiny bit. Then you remember that a priestess of Hecate doesn’t gawk.

“I don’t–How would you know that…?”

The beast only shrugs. Then he leans forward and takes another sniff as if to prove it’s true that you want his cock inside you.

“You smell good,” he grunts. “Different... Female, not afraid.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to…”

He even raises his hand to inspect the slight wetness there. Fascinated by the thin film on his fingers, he rubs his thumb in it, probably thinking about bringing it under his mask to get a good sniff of your juices too.

You grab his wrist without thinking, mortified to your core by the prospect of him getting high on your slick. 

“Look. We need to leave before the candle burns out.”

The obsessive stare threatens to swallow you once more, so you let go of his wrist and steel your resolve. Scooting down to grab your things, you try to ignore the violent erection still pointing straight at you.

Hecate keep you from offering yourself to this man out of your own free will...

And you don’t have a torch, only a candle and a skein of blood-red yarn, but you know the way out, so there’s hope. There’s always hope.

“I need you to promise me,” you turn at the mouth of the tunnel, seeing that he’s still standing there, in the place where he almost took you like his first whore. As if waking up from a thrall, he straightens to his full height, picks up his sword and looks like a half-human, half-bull once more.

“I promise,” comes a booming voice from under the animal skull. “No fucking… I’ll behave.” 

You nod. There's a sense of trust in the air. A promise of hope... It's mutual, invigorating -- life-giving, like the sun and blood in your hands.

You don't know if the son of Minos has ever smiled in here, but from the quick glint in his eyes, you suspect that he's smiling right now, the man under that animal mask. Somehow, it reminds you of the stars in the sky.

“Lead the way, maiden.”

[luveline]

Jade Congrats !!!!! Just yesterday I was thinking about how much I miss vampire Eddie, can I request something w him and shy reader? Maybe when he's feeling like he's dangerous for reader and she has to reassure him that she trust him and adores him <3

tysm lovely! ♡ 1.2k

It physically pains you to call the same person multiple times. Each loop of the trill makes you antsy, eager to shove down the receiver and curl into a sorry, sad ball. You let it ring. When it goes to answer phone, you type in Eddie's number and call again. 

It picks up. Breathless, a little surprised, you ask, "Eddie?" 

"Hey, sweetheart." 

He sounds defeated. You're not perfect with tone but the subtleties of his stick stark like a neon sign. Your boyfriend has bouts of depression that often manifest in a lethargic voice like this. 

"Hi, Eddie. I was just calling to make sure you're home before I come over." Usually, you'd ask, but you don't want him to say no. It feels rude and weird and overbearing, but you know what he's thinking. Leaving your comfort zone for his sake isn't easy, and you do it anyway. "I made you something." 

"Okay. I can't wait to see it… can't wait to see you. Sorry I didn't answer this morning, I was sleeping." 

"That's fine. I'm just happy you're okay, I was worrying about you." 

You pack his gift into a bag with a tupperware of cookies and a thermos of hot chocolate. Eddie's home is close to yours. Within ten minutes you're knocking on his door with wind-bitten cheeks, the September cold nipping your heels. Leaves from the trees in the surrounding woodlands dance crispy at your feet, orange and brown mulch that sticks to your treads. 

Eddie unlocks the door to let you in. You see his hand first, deathly pale, black obsidian rings crowding his fingers where they curl around the door. For a second it's like he's going to turn you away, but he widens the gap and you squeeze inside. 

He forgets whatever's wrong to touch your face. "Hey," he says, his hand slipping to cup under your jaw. 

"Hi. You okay? You look pale." 

"Am I usually more tan?" he asks, dropping his hand. "Fine. Blood sate in a few days. For now I'm eating rare steak and wishing I was dead." 

He's kidding around, but you take his hand and squeeze his cold fingers. 

"You're as cold as me," he says. 

"It's nearly October outside. You'd know if you left the house." 

He hums at your telling off, the two of you toe to toe just behind the front door. He sounds vaguely admonished and more curious, kneading your fingers in his with an unmissable amount of love. "Come on," he says, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles, "you need a blanket." 

You take off your shoes and coat, following Eddie through his living room, past the bathroom and into his bedroom. It's immaculately clean for once, but when you left the day before yesterday it was chaos. Something tells you he hasn't been sleeping as much as he claims. 

"What have you been doing in here?" you ask, putting your backpack on the bed. Eddie moves behind you, taller, a sweetheart through and through as he gets his hands on your shoulders and digs his thumbs in lightly. 

"I need to apologise to you," he says. 

"That's a big word." 

"I lied to you earlier, I wasn't sleeping, but I've been thinking… I needed to think." 

Well, what he's saying is nerve-wracking, but his hands aren't telling the same story. He's doing it on purpose for sure. "You don't have to say sorry for wanting time to think. Uh–" 

"Relax," he says. "Please. I just want to talk to you about something. Don't be nervous." 

"I'm constantly nervous." 

"I know." Eddie's hands pause at the space below your shoulder blades. It's strange not to be looking at him. He takes a deep breath. "Is that because of me?" 

You take your thermos out of your bag and turn. His pupils are small as they tend to be before a blood sate, his lips chapped. He starts to look poorly when he's hungry. The cookies and hot drink should help. 

"If it was because of you, how come I was like this before we met?" you ask gently, offering him the thermos.

"Do I make it worse?" 

"Of course you don't." How do you describe it to him? He's handsome and sweet and he makes you feel like you're something special. He's smart. He's fucking funny. Nothing about his demeanour or who he is has ever made you nervous, you've only ever worried you wouldn't measure up. 

It's hard to say out loud. Tentative, you put your hands on his waist. When he lifts his chin, you hug him close, strangely close to tears at the smell of him under your nose. 

"Eds, why would you think that? Have I made you think that?" you murmur.

"You know what I am." He tosses your thermos on the bed to cover your shoulders. 

"Yeah, I do."

"You wouldn't tell me if I scared you–" 

You flinch backward. "You think you scare me?" 

The starts of his eyebrows rise, his little box of wrinkles pinched, and his pupils slowly widening. When he speaks, it's with the practised cadence of a well-worn worry, "I'm not normal. You don't have to pretend that this is normal." 

"It doesn't feel normal to me," you say, placing your hand on his chest, fingertips against his shirt but palm hovering a half inch above. "It just feels like love. I love you, and I trust you. Is that what's worrying you?" 

"No," he says, winded. "I'm worried I'll hurt you. I know you trust me too much, you're," —he takes your face into big hands, kissing you very softly between words— "not the problem." 

You hug again. Cheek to cheek, an arm slung over his shoulder protectively. 

You miss your happy, weirdo boyfriend when he gets like this, but you understand why it happens. You don't resent him, don't mind, really, that he needs to be told these things. You'll be cheesy and soft as long as he needs it. 

"You're not the problem, either. You're a really good guy with a big heart and a propensity for catastrophizing," you say, your voice tipping into a teasing ire that borders theatrical.

He laughs like he was supposed to and steps back. Face I'm his hands, you turn your cheek into his left palm and smile into his syrupy brown eyes. 

"I haven't given you your gift." 

"I love you," he says. Licking his lips, "What gift?" 

You made him a coaster out of air dry clay, black and lacquered with a glaze that gleams like mother of pearl. He reads it and snorts, his top lip peeling back to expose the barest hint of a sharp tooth. "I heart my paranormal boyfriend," he reads, his voice gritty with humour. "Bit on the nose." 

You get a kiss for your efforts, firmer than the one he'd given you minutes before. Eddie's gonna be just fine in a couple of days, but for now you'll stick close. You don't want him getting the wrong idea —he doesn't scare you even slightly. 

[billlydear]

LIKE WE'LL NEVER HAVE SEX - BILLY HARGROVE X READER (PART ONE)

word count: 1277 // masterlist | inbox (please request) | WIP list

Summary: Billy's not used to getting less attention than the movie playing on the theater screen.

Contents/Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of sex, mentions of making out, light kissing

A/N: i'm sorry i've been MIA for a bit! school and work are very busy lately </3 but i hope you enjoy this! not me posting another part one with two outgoing series already... but this isn't a chapter of anything, it's a one-shot, and the other parts will be their own completed stories as well. it's a collection of stories, not a series, so you're welcome to read any of them without the others, it won't matter.

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! your feedback motivates me to write more, so thank you for your support :-)

The first time Billy realizes you're not using him for sex is during your first date. Movie theaters are prime date locations, at least on Billy's list, because it gets entertainment and a makeout session knocked out in the same two-hour window. He doesn't have to make small talk before fingering a girl if he's supposed to be silent watching the movie.

It's a pretty well-worn routine by now; the lights dim, and they're done with each other by the time the credits roll. It's efficient, he likes to think, it's easy.

When you'd expressed your enthusiasm about a sci-fi thriller playing in the little theater he frequented, he'd taken his shot. Five minutes later and your address was scrawled on his notebook paper, a smiley face beside it.

He picks you up at eight, and he even pays for popcorn.

You're resting back against the seat behind you, munching on M&Ms. He's neglected to kiss you thus far because the usher is prowling the aisles, on the lookout for anyone behaving... well, how Billy behaves every time.

When the guy stops flashing his torch at suspicious moviegoers and finally leaves the theater, Billy's eager to get on with his routine. He's sure the chocolate on your tongue will taste better than the popcorn dust on his own, but he's curious to see how they mix.

He reaches over to squeeze your hand first, and you tear your eyes away from the screen to shoot him an easy grin. Then you're back to the movie, eyes tracking the characters intently.

He leans over to butt his nose against your jaw, and you startle. You peer over at him with wide doe eyes, shining softly with the light from the screen. He grins and moves into a lazy kiss, one that he feels you sigh softly against his mouth for. It's sweet, but it's short.

"Wait!" You whisper, eyes wide as you tear yourself away from him to glance at the screen, "They're gonna-!"

An explosion rattles the sound system, and one of the characters gets slammed up against a cluster of rocks from the impact. She's dead on impact, and your mouth hang open.

When you settle back into your seat, a fresh candy in your mouth, he decides to steal it off of your tongue. He grips your cheek this time, tugging your face so that you're turned towards him, and pressing his lips to yours a little more firmly this time.

He manages to crack the melted candy on your tongue, spilling gooey chocolate into your spit. There's leftover popcorn butter residue on his lips, grainy and salty, but you don't seem to mind, sliding your hands against his chest.

But then you push against him, the same hands he'd thought were feeling him up nudging him away instead, and you shoot him a bashful smile.

"Sorry," You whisper, warm-cheeked and plump-lipped, "I... really wanna see this movie."

He sits back against his seat, eyes glazed over at the screen for five minutes. You're choosing to watch this shit movie instead of pay him attention? Shit, he could have rented a flick for you for seventy-five cents. Why did he pay for a ticket?

But then a new character steps on screen, and the theater goes up in cheers. He looks bewilderedly around, peering concernedly at you where you're clapping excitedly. You catch his confused stare, and lean in with chocolate-stained lips to whisper-shout, "He's from the original series! He was captain, and everyone was kind of speculating that they'd bring him back for the movie, but no one was really sure, and-!"

He watches your eyes sparkle with excitement as you fill him in on the series' lore, while also trying to keep up with the dialogue the characters have going. He realizes now that you're interested in the movie, you're not disinterested in him. He even laughs at a particularly clever quip, not that he'll ever admit it. The movie is clearly something more to you than it is to him, and he takes solace in the fact that he's not losing his game, you're just not playing it at the moment.

He fully intends to tongue you in the backseat of his camaro before driving you home, though. A man has needs, after all.

Instead, he nods along to the plot of the third episode of the sixth season of the show that the movie was based on, boots crunching against the gravel of the parking lot as he listens to you ramble. Apparently, that episode set up a villain for the movie, but he can't say he was paying attention enough to even remember what they'd looked like.

"-so they find out these guys are just taking it, but obviously they know they're not gonna stop until someone stops them. So they gear up and prepare for battle, but then they realize that there's a colony not too far from the planet they're trying to target, and they don't want them to think they're being hostile to them, so they have to run a team down to the colony to let them know they mean no harm. But it gives their enemies time to escape, and that's why it was such a big deal in the movie, because they were so close and never got to finish the job. But-"

Billy drives you home in silence, adding a few hums of acknowledgement here and there. He can't say he's interested in what you're talking about, but he likes the way you're saying it. Gushy, like the words have to get out now or you'll explode.

He lets you yammer his ear off all the way to your house, and there's lights on inside, which means he won't get away with a makeout session idling in the driveway. Parents don't like that, he knows.

There's disappointment lingering in the pit of his stomach at the prospect of going home without a proper kiss. One with wandering hands, muffled whimpers, maybe a quickie in the backseat. But when you realize he's not going to walk you to the front door, you rush around to the driver's side, ducking down to pop your face in his window.

He stares amusedly at you, surprised when you lean in to push your lips softly against his.

"Thank you," You hum, cheeks heated, "I had a good time tonight.I'm sorry I kind of talked a lot."

"It's fine," He chuckles, leaning in again to milk another kiss out of your waning time together, "You know a lot about that show."

"I do," Your laugh is bashful, and your hands fiddle with the hem of your shirt as you take a deep breath before speaking again, "I was wondering if... you'd want to come over sometime and watch a few episodes? The first ones are a bit shaky but they're totally worth it once you get to the good stuff."

'No' Is on the tip of Billy's tongue. He is not the kind of guy that sits in a girl's living room to watch nerd shit with her. But your eyes are shining at him just like they'd been shining at the movie screen earlier, and the word 'Sure' tumbles from his lips before he knows it's even there.

"Awesome," You gush, your laugh bright and bubbly, "Does five o'clock next Friday work? We can order a pizza."

"Friday at five," He repeats, leaning in to steal one last kiss, "See you then, honey."

The smile you give him as he drives off is just as sweet and sticky as the pet name he'd coined you.

[janeaustenbrandysmuggler]

The Hitchhiker (you can run...)

Apologies if someone has already pointed this out. I'm new to tumblr, and I'm still digging through all the amazing Good Omens metas!

Shax-in-disguise appearing and reappearing on the side of the road at the very beginning of The Hitchhiker felt really familiar to me, and I finally figured out why. I think we can add a Twilight Zone episode that's (conveniently) called "The Hitch-Hiker"* to the list of film and tv references we get in the season.

*I felt especially dumb when Google told me this episode literally has the same title as s2 ep4. In my defense, I don't know the names of any of the other Twilight Zone episodes I've seen, either.

Not sure you really need a spoiler alert for a 60+ year old tv episode, but I'll put a break in anyway. Go watch it if you can - it's properly creepy.

A brief summary: Nan Adams is on a road trip from Manhattan to Los Angeles. She's gotten as far as Pennsylvania, when her tire blows out and she runs off the road. The mechanic who comes out to put on her spare tire comments on how lucky she is to still be in one piece. (More on that in a minute.) As she follows the mechanic into town for a replacement tire, she sees a man in a hat hitchhiking on the side of the road and passes him by. She sees the man again at the service station after getting a new tire and mentions him to the mechanic, but the mechanic doesn't see him. Once she resumes her trip, she sees the hitchhiker on the side of the road again. And again. And again. And again. The farther she drives, the more she sees him, and the more frightened and paranoid she gets. At the height of her fear, she's convinced the hitchhiker is trying to kill her, and she attempts to run him over in order to make it all stop. She finally decides to pull over to a phone booth in Arizona and call her mother to try and ground herself back in reality, and we get one final big twist to end the story.

When I realized that hitchhiker!Shax appearing and reappearing in front of the Bentley reminded me of this episode, I decided to watch it again because I hadn't seen it in years. What do we hear almost right out of the gate?

So lucky! You could even say she dodged a bullet there. Oh wait...

(I think he says "Chalk up a win to the side of the Angel" here, but close enough.) Interestingly, "the side of the angels" really just means "the good guys" these days. In both these scenes, setting aside the fact that Aziraphale is actually an angel, it's used in the context of "you survived something that could have killed you."

One other thing I didn't know before is that the Twilight Zone episode is based on a radio play, also called "The Hitch-Hiker," written by Lucille Fletcher and first presented on The Orson Welles Show in... 1941. Probably just a fun coincidence, but really, why does it feel like all roads lead back to 1941?

As for the final creepy twist in Nan's story? Her mother isn't home when she calls. The woman who answers the phone tells Nan that her mother is in the hospital. She had a nervous breakdown when she found out her daughter had been killed in a car accident in Pennsylvania - caused when her tire blew out and she ran off the road. Nan goes numb and walks back to her car. She pulls down the visor to look at herself in the mirror, and she sees the hitchhiker sitting in the back seat. He says, "I believe you're going... my way?"

So there we go - a wink and a nod to a tv episode with the moral that you can't outrun your fate/Death, in a season that sure seems to have a lot of references to death in it. By the time Nan sees the hitchhiker for the first time, she's already dead, she just doesn't know it yet. She tries running, but it all catches up to her anyway. By the time Aziraphale sees the hitchhiker, Shax is just about ready to trigger the events that lead to where we are at the end of the season. The precious, peaceful, fragile existence of the last few years is already dead, and no matter how much Aziraphale tries to outrun that idea by acting like There's Nothing Wrong...

...it all catches up anyway.

I have a more nebulous set of thoughts about the "side of the angels" line being seen in the 1941 flashback, and if I can get them in any type of coherent order, I'll link to another post or put them here. Something about that line referencing a lucky escape that isn't so lucky after all for Nan Adams, and how 1941 so far looks like a series of narrowly averted catastrophes for Aziraphale and Crowley...and how it really feels like we haven't seen all of the 1941 story yet.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

is everyone in milgram just dead

Okay I'm making this post because while I'm not sure how much I believe this, it's a possibility that's been eating at my head for a while, so I gotta share it somewhere even if it's not the most solid theory in the world.

So anyways, hello members of the jury! Today I want to discuss the weirdly recurring theme of the prisoners in Milgram possibly being dead, and Milgram being some sort of afterlife thing. Given the fact it clearly has some supernatural elements, it certainly isn't impossible. So let's get into it!

CW Death, murder and suicide, abortion, child abuse, drowning, cults and indoctrination, waterboarding, gang violence

Yuno and the Allegations

The biggest hint that at least some of the prisoners might be dead is the in Yuno's second VD, Absolute Zero.

Yuno: Oh! Also, that reminds me, there was one thing I'm curious about. Es: What? Go ahead and say it. Y: Am I…really alive? E: That's…what do you…. Y: Hm…if you don't know, then it's fine. E: Yuno…. Y: Hey, it's time, right? E: Y-yes. Prisoner number 2, Yuno. Sing your sins.

Weird thing to say, really. So, presumably, she has some reason to believe she might be dead. Which is especially worrying because Yuno is one of the most intelligent and perceptive prisoners in Milgram, and might even have higher awareness of some of the more supernatural/meta elements of the series, as seen by images from both her cover songs appearing in Umbilical and Tear Drop.

All this is to say, if Yuno has reason to believe she might be dead, we have reason to believe so as well.

There are two points of Yuno's story were I feel she could have died. One is during her abortion, given a question from Trial 2.

(T2) Q20: Did you hate the person you killed?

Y: It was too much of a pain to for me to think about anything.

So her abortion was painful, which likely means it wasn't done in a hospital, as professional abortions typically don't cause too much pain in the moment (source), even if they can cause cramping or discomfort in the recovery period. If it wasn't done professionally, and it hurt a lot, it's very possible she may have died while performing it.

However, because of a few things we'll talk about later, I'm not sure this is very likely. The answer I find more likely is that, unfortunately, she may have committed suicide by jumping off the staircase we see her standing on in her Undercover silhouette shot.

For one, because what the hell would this shot even be otherwise. I've seen people suggest infanticide as opposed to abortion, but that wouldn’t cause physical pain (you could argue that answer is about emotional pain, but I'm not sure how much that works), it doesn't match her kill-shot in Undercover, and she herself has claimed her "muder" was abortion (and I don't see reason for her to lie about that). It also doesn't seem likely she would get pregnant more than once, seeing this question:

(T2) Q10: If you could turn back time, would you commit the same murder once again?

Y: I'd make sure that I won't have to commit it. That's it.

So, then, what the hell is up with that Undercover shot? Usually they say something important about the prisoner or their crime, but it really doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything.

This is where I bring up that Yuno falls off a staircase at the end of Umbilical.

Like, obviously this is more meant to be metaphorical, as in Yuno "slipped up" and now has to avoid falling by grabbing the balloon, which ends up destroying the staircase which had previously been related to the mixing of DNA (long story). But... she still is falling from a staircase. That is what is happening in the video. This is a silly argument, but it does exist.

Now, there's a few other things which could imply this, but that will have to wait for a moment. So while there is very little evidence for now, I'd say this is the most likely reason for why Yuno believes she may be dead. Especially given she might have depression (check out this cool post by weather-cluddy), her comitting suicide is sort of the best guess we can make I feel.

Nevertheless, no matter the reason why, Yuno believes she may be dead, which opens the door to other characters, if not all of them, to be dead as well. Let's take a look at the other prisoner most likely to actually be dead in my opinion, and see if we can establish a pattern.

Haruka's Worrying Situation

I believe, even if no one else is dead, it is highly likely Haruka attempted suicide. I am not going to go too in-depth in here, because moibakadesu already made a really good post about it, which is where I got the theory from in the first place. In fact, the idea Haruka may have at least attempted suicide has existed ever since Trial 1, check out this cool post by Venus from thinkin-bout-milgram. Here's a summary of what the main points of the theory are:

-The repeated motif of water and drowning could indicate the way Haruka killed himself, especially since he lived in Naogaka, Niigata, known as the "city of water."

-Haruka repeatedly attacks and even strangles a younger version of himself in Weakness, in one occasion alongside the lyric "I've become a victim, I've become a victim."

-The young girl in Weakness might actually be a representation of the "ideal Haruka", as he's stated his mother wanted a daughter instead of a son (I don't actually agree with this part, I do think the girl is a literal girl Haruka killed, due to several lines from his VDs, such as him saying Amane "brings back bad memories." However, it's still a possibility)

-The nonchalance with which Haruka speaks of comitting suicide in his second MV, Metamorphosis of the Weak, could imply he's already done it once.

-The line "if with one click, and I can reset everything" in AKAA can be more directly translated to "if with the push of one button I could be reborn", which paired with butterflies being symbols of death and rebirth and being connected to Haruka because of the name of his second VD, could imply Haruka died and was reborn.

-Haruka standing on a chair in AKAA as his shadow lines up with the shadow of the bars in the window to create the ilusion he has a noose around his neck.

-At the end of AKAA, Haruka is surrounded in what looks to be formaldehyde, which is used to preserve the corpses of dead animals, while the aforementioned "I could be reborn" lyric plays.

As you can see, there's a lot here, which is why I think it is highly likely Haruka comitted suicide.

There is an issue with bringing this theory in, which is that part of the theory is that Haruka's silhouette in the Undercover shot doesn't have white noise, which separates him from the others and could imply he's a victim like Hinako and Mahiru's boyfriend, who similarly have no white noise. The problem for our purposes is that this theory assumes a lot of the other prisoners, such as Yuno, may have committed suicide as well, creating an inconsistency with this point. I don't have a good answer for this, beyond a really odd, Hamlet-esque "Haruka is a victim of his own madness" kind of thing which doesn't work very well, so unless any of you have another explanation, it's best for this theory to just sorta ignore the white noise thing.

So, now we have two prisoners who very likely died before Milgram. This vaguely establishes a possible pattern: what if all the prisoners were taken right as they died?

Muu’s Mysterious Memory Mishaps

Es: You said you wanted to go back home, right? And, "suppose" we did let you… Even if you were to leave this place, you'll then have a brush with the police, won't you? Muu: *Surprised* E: I mean, you've killed someone anyway, so are the police not making a move in regards to that? M: Well, I don't know. As of now, I don't have a clear memory of what happened after I did it. And then before I knew it, I was here. E: Is… that so? M: You guys should've known that, being the ones who brought me here after all.

This line from Muu’s first VD has always intrigued me. Muu doesn’t have a very good reason to be lying here when seen in full context, so she’s likely telling the truth. But, why? Why doesn’t Muu remember anything clearly after her crime, and why was she taken so quickly after committing it?

First idea is that perhaps all the prisoners are simply taken right after the murder they’re in Milgram for; even in the case of multiple murders, you can say Milgram just decided to take them for the last one exclusively.

However, Shidou serves as a counter example, because of the ending of Throw Down.

It’s a pretty simple logical progression. Shidou has no reason to kill after the flower person dies, so their death is after his last murder most likely, and yet he does remember it happening. Thus, Shidou has a memory of something which happened an undetermined amount of time after his final murder.

That means the "fuzzy memories" thing isn't universal. This can also be vaguely inferred by the attitudes certain prisoners have regarding their "murder(s)", like Kazui for example.

Now, you could argue Muu simply doesn't remember well because of the Trauma, and she just happened to get taken shortly after her murder. However, there is a chance now that there is a reason she was taken shortly after her murder.

You know what this post is about. You know what I'm about to imply. So I'll make the observation now:

In It's Not my Fault, one of Muu's shoes is off after she kills Rei. And we have seen this imagery of "one shoe off" to represent suicide before.

It's common in Japan to take both shoes off before comitting suicide, but if you want to read into only one of the shoes being off, you could argue it represents they're "half-suicides", as Milgram also considers them murders. In that sense, you (or Muu) could argue were Muu to commit suicide after killing Rei, then she would also become "Rei's victim", the same way Hinako and Mahiru's boyfriend are Kazui and Mahiru's victims.

This idea that Muu might still be a victim in the situation could also be implied by the lyrics here:

[It's Not my Fault] It’s not my fault after all, after all. Everyone wants me to be innocent. What a relief. Can’t be helped. I’m always meant to be pitied!

(Btw I'm using the fan translation in the wiki because the English subs in that video are... odd)

Yes that sentiment is repeated a lot during the song, but Muu does shout "I'm always meant to be pitied" ("I'm always the drama queen") at the top of her lungs here.

Now, the shoe thing isn't quite like that in After Pain, but we never actually see Muu's shoes in the real world, only in the blank inner world with the broken hourglass, and there are other inconsistencies with reality there, namely Rei's body's position.

You can see her right shoe is on there, but again, this scene isn't real.

The concerning thing is that apart from that, After Pain does not help Muu beat the suicide allegations.

In particular, look at the scene of the photo I put there. You can see there's a bunch of people judging Muu for her murder, as it's usually not considered a socially acceptable thing to do. But, hold on, didn't Muu say she didn't remember anything after her murder? Correct! That means she doesn't remember this "judgement" happening, but she imagined it would. Perhaps that's what the one line means:

[After Pain] Counterattack being a suicide note

Counterattacking Rei, killing her, is social suicide. For obvious reasons.

...

But it's still called a suicide note, which is not a good look. And yes, I do think the Japanese lyric explicitly references death, though take that with a lot of salt since that's just Google Translate and DeepL talking.

In fact, that entire set of lyrics is pretty odd.

[After Pain] Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”

"Meeting up inside the pain" probably refers to hurting Rei, so now they're hurting together. The "stabbing of a little devil's voice" is probably referring to dangerous impulses, so murderous thoughts. "Counterattack being a suicide note", already explained. "I love YOU", because Muu is a girlkisser.

But the "postmortem makeup" is odd. You could argue the "death" which happened before the "makeup" was applied was the "death" of Muu's reputation, her old persona. Rei "killed" "that Muu", and now Muu is hiding her real feelings with "postmortem makeup."

But then, why would the method to solve it be a secret? Who is she keeping it secret from? Rei, and all of Muu's old 'friends', all know what lies beyond that makeup, they all saw what Muu was like before Rei stepped in.

That means there's another interpretation. If her real feelings are a secret, there's only one person they would be a secret from. Es (and us by extension). In a way, After Pain is hiding part of her heart, the less sympathetic parts shown in full in It's Not My Fault. Muu being a bully was already implied in After Pain, mind you, but it was still relatively "hidden", at least compared to It's Not my Fault.

And if that is the way we're meant to read that line, we run into the allegations again. If the makeup is for Milgram, and it's "postmortem" makeup, then Muu is already dead.

And that's without mentioning how much After Pain seems to imply suicidal tendencies in general.

[After Pain] If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed There’s no special meaning, I got the short end of the stick I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

I don’t want tomorrow to come, I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me

Maybe I’m done Just one more time before saying goodbye I’m just kidding, please forget I said that

The only lyric that doesn't seem to imply it is:

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

But feeling alive and being alive isn't quite the same, right? You can be alive without feeling alive, and if someone doesn't feel alive, it's possible they're not a very good state of mind.

So, what could this all imply? If we're going with the idea of murder-suicide, it's possible Muu was very worried about how people would hate her after the murder, as implied by After Pain, decided she didn't want to deal with that, and unfortunately made the decision to kill herself.

One small thing which could serve as a counterpoint is her Trial 1 Voice Reveal distorted line.

Fufufu... It's your fault... for doing horrible things to me.

She seems pretty sure of herself here, and it's very likely this is after her murder. But it's perfectly possible she said this initially, then thought about the social consequences, and that's when she started to feel bad. It's also worth noting the only time in It's Not my Fault where Muu seems to hesitate is right after her murder.

[It's Not my Fault] Wait, wait, just as a hypothetical. What should I do if I’m actually a bad girl? Don’t ever hate me, and don’t look for what lies “after and from” the pain.

This is immediately after the murder, when she comes out of a caccoon, presumably her arriving at Milgram. So, she was initally confident, that's when she says "I’m always meant to be pitied!" in It's Not my Fault and presumably her Voice Reveal line, then hesitated and started to feel awful as we see in After Pain.

... Well, there's also the way more uncharitable reading where Muu killed herself so people also pitied her instead of just hating her for killing Rei, but that's a bit too dark and in bad faith for my tastes. It is there, though.

So, yeah, Muu may be dead too. And she brings with her an interesting implication; the prisoners may not have clear memories of the events leading up to their death. So, even if some of them committed suicide, it's possible they simply don't remember ever taking the decision to do so, explaining their behavior in the prison.

And it also could explain away... one apparent contradiction. One which exists outside of this theory, but that this theory could explain.

Amane and the Voice Reveal Trailers

As most of you know, the Voice Reveal trailers for all these characters contain certain distorted phrases which in general seem closely linked to their murder. And as pointed out by blueepink07 in this post, it seems the First Trial Voice Reveals are things the prisoners said after their murder, while the Second Trial ones are showing a point before their murder. Check out Kazui's, for example.

(T1) "I'm so dumb... Why did I have to dream?"

(T2) "Hinako, I love you more than anything."

There's also Muu's, since I've already brought it up before.

(T1) "Fufufu... It's your fault... for doing horrible things to me."

(T2) "Hey..why don't you listen to me...? I'm telling you... Hey...HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU"

The second being right before she killed Rei.

That works well enough for all the prisoners... except Amane.

(T1) "Ahh! I'm so sorry...! I'm sorry...! I'm sorry for breaking the rules!"

(T2) "Father is a very praiseworthy person. Once [my/his] virtue increases, he'll come back home, right? It's a little lonely, but I'm fine!"

In theory, Amane would have been punished before her murder, as we see happen after she heals the cat in the taser scene. Meanwhile, if she's lonely without her father, it could perhaps be because her mother is dead after Things Happened (yes I'm going with Mother!Victim theory on this one).

But that's not the case. Following the pattern, the line about her father coming home at some point is before her murder, and apparently, she was punished for breaking some kind of rule after her murder. The implication here, horrid as it is, could be that her father returned home after she killed her mother and punished her for doing so.

Thankfully, this is impossible. After all:

(T1) Q18: Do you regret your "murder"?

A: No. It was a natural obligation.

(T2) Q3: State the name of your victim.

A: There is no victim. Only the punished.

(Taking some liberties on the translation of Trial 2 since the questions are still coming out as I write this)

So Amane genuinely believes she was following her cult's principles to a T when she killed her mom. As much as that likely isn't the case (long story), if she had gotten punished for killing her mom, then she wouldn't think like this. If she had been punished for it, she wouldn't think her murder was a "natural obligation", but rather a mistake on her part.

What this implies is that Amane doesn't remember being punished by her father.

...

Amane... doesn't remember...

Fuck.

Yeah, remember when I said it was possible the prisoners don't have clear memories of the events leading up to their death? Going by the "T1 after - T2 before" logic the Voice Reveals seem to follow, we can infer Amane was likely punished for killing her mother, but we also know she can't remember it happening, otherwise she would regret it. And based on what we learnt from Muu, we do have a way to explain how that could happen. If Amane died while receiving the punishment the T1 Voice Reveal alludes to, she wouldn't have a clear memory of it.

And the thing is, it does seem likely Amane received this punishment. Think about it. Interrogation questions are one thing, since the creators don't fully control them, but why mention her father would possibly return home in the Voice Reveal trailer? Unless he did. Hell, you could argue we might know the exact moment he returned. Amane does look at the entrance of her apartment at the end of Purge March, though that could simply be for dramatic effect rather than being a literal thing which happened.

But there's more. Because if her father returned home, we might actually have an answer for another one of the mysteries surrounding Amane's situation. The Undercover prisoner card.

The image on her card seems to show a bathroom. It is widely assumed the images on these cards are the location the murders happened in, but to my knowledge, this isn't 100% confirmed. However, this creates a small issue with Amane. Just looking at the murder shot in Purge March is enough to confirm that.

I made a more detailed theory on her murder on this post, diagrams included (scroll to the bottom if you're only interested on the murder), but for now, there are two things to note here. One, there's a trail of water which seems to come out of the door with the light on, as the puddles are bigger the closer they get to it, implying that room is the bathroom. And two, the room the murder actually happened in seems to have a window/door behind a curtain, which isn't what Amane's bathroom looks like.

Adittionally, there isn't any blood outside of the murder room, implying the victim's body wasn't dragged there.

All this seems to imply Amane's victim didn't die in the bathroom, which is sorta a problem considering the previously mentioned commonly accepted theory. But this idea that Amane may have died while being punished, perhaps while being drowned as we know that's one of the accepted methods of punishment in her cult, brings up a different possibility.

What if the images in the prisoner cards aren't showing murder location? What if they show the last place the prisoner was seen in, the place they died?

Kotoko, Mikoto, and the Prisoner Cards

So, first, is there any indication either of these might be dead? For Mikoto, not really. Sure, there's the whole Death card at the end of MeMe thing, but that doesn't have to be taken so literally.

Kotoko has a very little potential hint in the fact she's shown alongside a wolf at the start of HARROW, but by the end the wolf is by itself. If the wolf represents a potential partner (long story), then maybe Kotoko died?

Though you can easily argue the wolf is slightly different and thus is meant to just represent Kotoko.

However, the reason I'm bringing them into this is because their prisoner cards are completely nonsensical under "murder location" theory for the images shown. Let's start with Kotoko.

It shows an alleyway, which at first seems like it makes sense. We do see her attacking a man in an alleyway. However, after that happens, one of the pieces of background text says this:

◆ A wanted thief was assaulted by an unknown assailant Early yesterday morning, a nearby shop employee reported hearing screaming and seeing a man lying on the ground. According to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department, the man had lost consciousness after being beaten on his face, stomach, and other areas, and was taken to the hospital. The police are currently trying to identify the suspect. [...] According to previous investigations, the male victim was wanted throughout Tokyo for theft and assault charges and was identified as the suspect, Mikio Oshii.

(Translation by Maristelina)

Mikio Oshii is the name of the man Kotoko assaulted in the alleyway. It seems odd to me that we would learn he was taken to the hospital if he later died in it somehow, especially because Kotoko didn't want to kill him. We can clearly see this because of a crucial difference between her attack on him and her attack on the serial killer who likely is her victim.

She covers her face while attacking Oshii, because she doesn't want to be recognized. She is committing assault, after all. However, that only matters if she's planning to keep him alive. Conversely, she doesn't cover her face while attacking the serial killer, because she knows he won't be a witness. She went into that warehouse planning to kill.

Of course, she could have accidentally done too much damage, but the issue there is that she would probably express some remorse in that case. She doesn't, and the fact she only ever talks about one victim-

[TASK (T1 VD)] I did kill someone. [...] I don't have a single regret.

-it really seems like Oshii was able to survive her attack.

That creates an issue with her prisoner card. It shows an alleyway, but her only victim died in a warehouse. As confusing as that sequence is, he did die in the warehouse.

You know when we do see an alleyway again, though?

But she's not wearing her face covering. And if this was the alley with the one sign about a car accident that shows up over and over in HARROW, I'd imagine we'd see the sign, even if it was obscured in some way. So once again, a silhouette shot which seems to have nothing to do with her murder or her general situation.

So, is it possible she died in this alleyway? That's the only other reason I can imagine why it'd show up in her prisoner card, so. As for what exactly happened, I imagine she may have been murdered at the whim of her victim's father?

Shocking revelation: The heinous criminal behind the crime is the privileged son of a high-ranking official!

(Article referring to Kotoko's victim)

So, she got found out and immediately assassinated? It's a bit out there, but it would explain both her prisoner card and her attitude in the prison.

And then there's Mikoto.

As you can see, his card shows a street. The issue with Mikoto is one of format. The cards only ever show one location, but we know Mikoto has at least two victims.

[Text: To the right, the Subway Murder, which clearly has a ceiling. The murderer has blood on his right cheek, his left cheek is hidden. There's also the bathhtub scene, where the right cheek is hidden, but the left cheek has blood already trailing off, which doesn't quite fit what we see in the other murder if you think about the bath chronologically.

To the left, a murder out in the street, with an open sky. The murderer has blood on their left cheek, but not on their right. This is seen in both the crime and the shower scene]

So yeah, at least two. You could argue the bathtub murder is actually a third one, which... huh. Two things that absolutely exist and a Secret Third Thing, the existance of which is disputed? Trikoto vibes.

Point is, Mikoto has two different murder locations at least. The street, yes, but also the subway. This creates a problem with the "images in the prisoner cards are murder locations" idea, because it only shows one. You could try to gymnastics your way out of this by saying maybe Hostkoto committed the street murder while Orekoto killed the other victim(s), and because only Hostkoto is considered a prisoner by Milgram, only his murder is shown? But I feel that raises more questions than it answers.

Instead, if we assume the images to be death locations, the ambiguity disappears, because Mikoto as a system can only have one death location. The issue is you have to explain how Mikoto died in the middle of the street, which is a bit difficult.

The best guess I can give is related to the subway victim. It's been pointed out before that guy looks a lot like a stereotypical Japanese delinquent, which could imply he was part of a gang. If that's the case, it's possible the killer angered the wrong people by killing him, similar to Kotoko, and thus was later murdered himself. We know that street isn't very safe, on account of one of the alters getting away with murder there. It's a pretty large stretch, and has like zero evidence, but it's physically possible at least.

Let's take a quick look at the other prisoners and see if their images can also be explained by the "death image" theory.

We know Muu would share a death location with her victim if she really committed suicide as the theory states, so nothing weird there. Haruka's a bit more awkward, because it shows the forest he very likely killed the girl in, but I'm not entirely sure if the forests near Nagaoka has bodies of water deep enough to drown oneself. There is the Shinano river, which has... trees, around it.

This was taken from Google Street View in Nagaoka. Again, not sure how deep it is, but assuming it's deep enough to drown, it could work if you ignore the trees don't look too much like the ones irl. Maybe Haruka threw himself off the bridge?

Alternatively, Nagaoka borders the sea, and it seems like there's forest almost all the way up to it. So maybe that could work? Unsure.

Worst comes to worst, we can maybe change it to saying Haruka didn't drown himself, but killed himself in some other way in the forest. Point is, I think Haruka's isn't too big of an issue.

Fuuta, Mahiru and Kazui don't have a lot of evidence towards what the hell would have happened, but the best assumption I can make is they all committed suicide because of guilt. Fuuta in his room, Mahiru in the suicide forest (likely also where her boyfriend committed suicide), and Kazui by jumping off a building like Hinako. As for their evidence...

>Fuuta burns at the end of Backdraft, which is the same thing that happens to Killcheroy, so you could argue that's meant to show he's dying. It's not great, it absolutely is just meant to be metaphorical most likely, but it is there.

Additionally, he's also an outlier for the "muder location image" theory, since what one would consider his "murder location" is very ambiguous. Is it his room, where he sent online hate from? Is it Killcheroy's room, where she assumedly died? Wouldn't it be the front of Killcheroy's house, where Fuuta took the picture to dox her? Again, death location is less ambiguous.

Fuuta's attitude during Trial 1 could be seen as a bit weird if he was suicidal, but I'm not sure we can comfortably say that with the limited information we have.

>Mahiru in I Love You goes to sleep after seeing her boyfriend dead, which could be read as her committing suicide. You know, if you're insane like me.

Especially given this question from Trial 1:

(T1) Q20: What do you think about smoking?

M: I've never smoked before, but I might copy him if who I love smokes.

That, alongside a lot of the bg text from TIHTBILWY, implies Mahiru likes the idea of copying her lover. Not the greatest quality to have when your lover commits suicide.

>Kazui has this:

Where the smoke of his cigarette turns into a noose. Of course, that's meant to represent self-destruction in general, but it could also be taken more literally. He... doesn't have much else.

Thus, everyone else vaguely fits the idea of "death image"... except him.

Our favorite headache inducing doctor strikes again! His card shows a hospital room, which is a very strange death location, but perfectly fits his murders. You could argue he runs into the same issue as Mikoto, but it's actually possible Shidou just killed all his victims in the same room, so.

Yeah, Shidou's probably the biggest counterargument for this theory. Because while it's possible he died in a hospital, there is zero evidence for it, beyond the image itself. Hell, neither Throw Down or Triage ever seems to imply he died in the first place, which is an issue. This theory's already heavily dependant on the extremely flawed "you can't disprove it" argument, but at least most of the other ones have some kind of logical progression which gets you to how they died.

So, to complete the theory, we have to make the pretty big jump that Shidou died inside a hospital room, without knowing how that happened.

... Wait, inside the room?

Wait wait wait, show me Fuuta's and Amane's again.

Hmmm... 0308... hmmmm... 0308... I totally didn't just do this to put the two together... hm...

Yeah, same thing. They both show the inside of a room. Which, along with Shidou's, shows that these images can show the inside of buildings, right?

But, then... why is Yuno's outside?

That very clearly isn't the inside of a building. But this generates a problem for the "murder location image" theory, because Yuno's "murder" was abortion. Even if it wasn't done professionally, she would have still done it inside, presumably. This creates an inconsistency with Fuuta, Amane and Shidou. If their murder locations are shown from inside, why is Yuno different?

However, this inconsistency disappears if we assume the images to be death locations. I previously established if Yuno died, she likely committed suicide by jumping off a staircase, which does vaguely fit this image. It's similar to Kazui's in that way.

Now, I don't want to get too ahead of myself here. Murder location is still absolutely the more straightforward answer, but it does come with its issues. As stated, Fuuta's image would face some ambiguity, Mikoto's would face extreme ambiguity, Amane's seems to contradict the evidence we're shown in Purge March, Yuno's is wildly inconsistent with the other images, and Kotoko's is straight up nonsensical.

Meanwhile, death locations physically work with all the cases, even if Shidou's case is extremely weird, but it requires huge assumptions and stretches. It relies heavily on how impossible it is to disprove, which is not a good sign. Russell's Teapot, and all that.

Summary of the Theory

>Everyone in Milgram is dead, and their prisoner cards in Undercover show the place where they died.

>Prisoner's memories of the events leading up to their deaths are extremely fuzzy, explaining why only Yuno seems to even suspect it.

+Haruka: Committed suicide by drowning himself, possibly in the Shinano river or the sea. [Most likely to be dead]

+Yuno: Committed suicide by jumping off the staircase we see her standing in on her Undercover silhouette shot. [Most likely to be dead]

+Fuuta: Committed suicide in his room out of guilt. [Very little evidence]

+Muu: Murder-suicide, she committed suicide after killing Rei. [A bit more evidence than others]

+Shidou: Died in a hospital room [???]

+Mahiru: "Copied" her boyfriend by killing herself in the suicide forest. [Very little evidence]

+Kazui: Jumped off a building, like Hinako. [Very little evidence]

+Amane: Drowned by her father as "punishment" for her murder. [Unfortunately, sorta likely]

+Mikoto: Murdered by one of the members of Subway Victim's gang. [Sort of filling in the blanks here]

+Kotoko: Murdered at the order of her victim's father. [Very little evidence]

Conclusion

Do I believe this theory? Honestly, I don't know. It makes a few too many assumptions for me to fully believe it, but I do think it's a decent possibility, so I wanted to share it with you all. In any case, that's all I have to say for now. If you have any thoughts about any of this, feel free to share! Also I didn't even touch on Es but you can try to fit them in somehow if you feel like it.

Anyways, if you made it this far, you deserve a hug, this post was depressing. Take care!

[thequietkid-moonie]

Buddha, Tesla, Jack and Qin(separately) with a reader who has a little shop or works in a bookstore and is very sweet and innocent and has a 4 year old daughter. The reader is a very peaceful and shy person (this is They think) one day the characters are going to pay a visit and find her the house all messed up and she in the kitchen with a katana in her hand (and several dead men on the floor) surprise! Reader is a former assassin HireRental(like Beatrix Kiddo from Kill Bill) I love your writing it's so...amazing

Sweet and inocent reader is actually an assassin

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Buddha, Tesla, Jack, Qin ]

[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

YES YES YES!! I LOVE your idea anon, it's so exciting!! I ended up getting a little dramatic, I'm sorry if thats not what you wanted!

Although, I don't know anything about Kill Bill so i just go by what you said, I hope its okay. And, I'm sorry but a cannot stop thinking in Yor, I've been watching too much sxf

Buddha

He probably ended entering in your bookstore while he was searching something to end with his boredom, and for sure meeting you will be useful

You quickly picked his interest with your shy and sweet personality, and at first he start talking about the books but you two ended up talking about anything else, and he even get the oportunity to meet your daughter

The day didn't end without all of you becoming friends, and Buddha start going to the bookstore frecuently to see you two, he even invite the both to hang out outside

Everytime he goes to see you he always brings some candies for you two, even if you don't want that you daughter eat much he always secretly gives them to her

Buddha doesn't exactly offer his help in your work, and he even sometimes make a mess while playing with the little girl, but at the end the both help you clean

But he likes to spend time with you too, so when he isn't with your daughter he is following you around, unintentionally helping you while chating with you (and, of course, he never miss a chance to tease you and make you blush)

He pass a lot of time telling to both of you a lot of stories about all the places he has been, even of when he was a prince (and probably you didn't believe him at first)

He is always making sure the both of you are fine, making sure you're not overworked, if he have to force you to rest he will, and he even offer to do the work while you rest

The love he feels for both of you is obvious for whoever looks at him, but it isn't like he is hidding it

One day you asked Buddha if he could take care of your daughter while you do an important work and you promised to try to be quick with it, you didn't give much details but Buddha trust you so he acepted

However you were taking a lot of time, that make Buddha start getting worried about you, even your daughter was starting to ask for you

So he decided to search for you, saying to the little girl that they should go back home with a smile, but in their way he start having a very bad feeling, and when they where there Buddha noticed the front door slighly open

He ask the little girl to wait for him before enter in the house carefuly, everything was a mess, he was starting to get worried and angry, but his priority right now was find you

And he did, he find you in one of the rooms, your clothes covered in blood and some bodies in the floor, he was surprised and confused but still carefuly approach you and say your name with a soft voice

You were starting to relax a little since you finally finish with those bastards who tried to attack you from behind when you heard someone calling you softly

Scared you turn around and see Buddha standing in front of you, you stare at him for a moment before panic, you were scare of how he would react about this, throwing your weapon away you tried to come up with an excuse

But, even if he was surprised, he can tell that you still are that sweet person he met and fell in love, there is not any evil intentions in you

With confident steps he approach you, reassuring you that is fine, you have nothing to worry about, he even embrace you to help you calm down

He goes with your daughter again and entertains her until you finish to take care of what happened, and after everything was more calm you two talk about it

He is fully supportive of your work as an assassin, and even if you want to leave it he will support you

He admitted that he is surprise for it, from all people he never expected you to have a work like this! But he doesn't mind, and isn't scare either

He will help you whenever you need it, maybe taking care of your daughter or making excuses for when you have to go

He actually find this side of you rather atractive, and he will say it you without shame, and he even tease you for it!

Nikola Tesla

He had already seen your little bookstore from afar, but today he decided to go hoping to find something that will help him with his work

When enter he was greeted cheerfuly by a little girl that was sitting in your desk, soon you came and greet him too, asking him how could you help him

You two spend a while talking about all kind of book, searching for something that could help him, sometimes getting interrupted by the little girl

After that he start finding problems to concentrate since he can't stop thinking about you, is just that you were so cute and so kind, Tesla ended making an excuse to go to bookstore to see you again

For a while he makes some excuses to go, but soon you two become friends and he didn't have to make excuses anymore

He was constantly helping you in your work, or when you were too busy he spend time with your daughter, teaching her some things or playing with her (is so cute to see)

And every time you shyly thank him with a little blush in your cheeks he feels like his chest is gonna explode for how fast his heartbeat is

You two start spending almost all your time together, whenever he wasn't working in his studies he was with you, and you start taking care of him too since he gets easily invested in his work, you start acting just like a family. You even invite him over your house sometimes, and he invited both to his study

One day he was in his way to your house as usual, you two already made plans to meet but when he gets there he can tell that something was off, all the lights were off and the door was slighly open

He was fearing that something happen to both of you, he was planing to call the police but first he need to find you. Carefuly he enter in the house, everything was a mess and that just scare him most but he quickly calm down and start searching you

Tesla heard soft sobs and he run to where were coming, as silent as he manage, then he find your daughter hidden, gently he gets her attention trying not to scare her more, but the moment she sees Telsa she just cry harder and hide in his arms, he hold her while trying to calm her down, comforting her

Her cries alert you, you were sure that you had already take care of all the bastards, still you follow the sound carefuly, seeing someone with your daughter makes you more angry, sneaking until you were behind his back ready to kill him, until you reconize his voice

You let fall your weapon out of surprise and fear, that alert him, holding the little girl protectivebly he turn around quickly but the only think he sees is you cover in blood with a fearful expresion

He quickly stand up, asking you what happen and look for posible injuries. After noticing the bodies he gets super confused, he doesn't understand whats happening, still he put his hand in your shoulder reassuring you, and with a smile he tell you that you should take care of it, he will wait until you finish for an explanation

While you change your clothes and take care of what happen he stay with your daughter until she falls sleep

After that he is expecting an explanation, but he won't judge, Tesla hears patiently all you have to say and wait until you finish your story to say something

This is something unexpected , but you still the same person he love so much, so he decided to trust you, to believe that you're not doing it for malicious intention, promising you to stay by your side and support you

He is really interested in knowing why you became an assassin and he is really impress with your skills too

You can be the best assassin ever and he still sees you as the sweet inocent person he met in the bookstore

Maybe he won't be able to help you as an assassin, but he could help you with other things, like helping you cover it whenever you have to go out to do your work and taking care of your daughter. He gets really worried about you, but believes in you

Jack the Ripper

Jack is someone who really likes to read, loves enjoying a good book with a cup of tea, so it wasn't strange for him visit a bookstore

Meeting you truly surprised him, it had being so long since he meet someone with such beautiful and bright colors, he gets mesmerize with the sweetness in your voice when greeting him, it actually take him a moment to answer you

He ended up spending all day in your bookstore, talking about everything and anything, he even gets to meet your daughter, and he became friends quickly with the young lady

He start going to the bookstore frecuentrly just to see the both of you, and he's not really shy so he won't have problem admiting that he actually wanted to see you

Jack help you with the work, attending the persons who came searching for a book, helping you keeping the place organizate

He is always giving you compliments rather cheesy and poetic that never fails to makes you blush, and to your daughter too (telling her how cute she is or praising her improvements in school)

Jack could pass hours with the cute young lady and never get bored, playing around, reading a book to her, drawing something or even help her fall sleep, for Jack those moments are like being in heaven

He really crave for your company, for him being with both of you is like a dream come true, he couldn't be happier. People is always praising you for the beautiful family you are (even if you two aren't together yet), and that flattered him, he swears that he is the happiest man alive

One day Jack was having a very bad feeling so he decided to visit you, just to make sure both were fine. Stoping first by the bookstore, it was supposed to be closed by that hour but he finds your daughter there, when he ask her about it she tell him that you asked her to run there and hide until you came for her, the bookstore was pretty secure so he tell her to wait there and he will go to see you, not without first making sure she was alright and safe there

Running to your house Jack was trying to calm himself down, he was fearing the worst! When he finally get to your house seeing the door slighly open just make him feel more uneasy, he was ready to rip apart the idiots who even dare to think to mess with you. Carefuly he sneak inside and toured the house looking for you, just by looking at the mess he could tell that there was been a fight

There was just one room with light and a person standing giving him the back, in the floor was several dead bodies, he decided to approach the person carefuly without even making a sound

There were you, finally relaxing a little since you already take care of everyone, you didn't feel Jack's presence until he was behind you, out of fear and anger you turn around quickly putting your weapon just inches away from his throat

It take a moment for both of you to complently understand the situation, your expression change to one shocked and covered in fear, the last person that you wanted they know about this part of you was standing in front of you

Seeing your expresion makes Jack panic, he feared to see that expresion on you, he never wanted to see you in such color. The tears starting to form in your eyes was what makes him get into his senses and reasure you that is okay, everything was fine now!

After pick your daughter and putting her to sleep Jack help you take care of everything, from fixing the house to taking care of the bastards, he could tell that you still feel really bad from him seeing you like this, so he take a moment to reasure you that you have nothing to fear, this not change anything for him, he still loves you

He is willing to reveal that his is an assassin too (without much details), he still fears of how you will react, but if that helps you feel better he will

He isn't expecting an explication or anything, but he will heard you if you want to talk about it. What he will makes sure to do is tell you that you don't have to worry, he can tell that you're still the person he fell in love with, so he isn't going to leave you, and neither will tell someone about this

He is fully supportive of your work, and will teach one thing or two. Whenever you have work to do he gets worried about you, not becouse he doesn't trust you but becouse he fear losing you, and when you come back he always greet you with a big hug (is comforting for him feeling you in his arms)

And he is ready to help you with everything you need, doesn't matter if is in the bookstore, taking care of your daughter or with your assassin work

Qin Shin Huang

He wasn't exactly interested in the bookstore, sure it was a pretty one, but what actually drag his attention to it it was the little girl that was playing outside, running around while you were cleaning, it remembered him when he was a child, when his teacher was with him

He decided to approach the both of you when the little girl greeted him, that picked your attention and when you realized who she was talking to you get all shy and blushy, that just make him more interested

In reality he was more interested in both of you more than the books, and for a while you two always ended up meeting by casuality, but soon he start looking for you, he even go to the bookstore store, saying that he wanted to see you

Qin is really energetic and carismatic so it didn't take long for him and your daughter become friends (even best friends), even if she was the shy type

And he even start craving your company, you quickly made your way to his heart, he just seems like he can't live without your sweetness and kindness anymore

In no time you get stucked with Qin, he is just really happy with both of you, he is always looking for passing time with the both of you, he even makes you take some free days so the three of you could hang out together, he have a lot of plans! (even before you two become a couple)

Wherever you go you always recive compliments of how you are a really beautiful family, and that makes Qin feel super proud

It was one day that Qin was hanging alone with your daughter since neither of them manage to convince you to go with them, you say that you had a lot of work but next it will be, when the night was starting to fall he decided that it was time to return to home

Getting close to the bookstore he notice how the door was slighly open even if there was no trace of you, getting worried Qin ask the little girl to wait for him, saying that he just need to check something, he promised that it would just take a moment

When he enter in the bookstore everything was a mess, there even was some blood, he start fearing the worst. He start walking around searching for you, he didn't bother for try to be careful or sneaky

You easily hear how someone else was enter in the store, you already took care of the people who tried to attack you, but there was the posibility of them having accomplices. Hidding next to the door and ready to attack was when Qin enter in the room, you reacted so quickly than you didn't even realice that it was actually him

Qin reacted quickly too, blocking your attack and both of you just stare at each other for a moment, he was trying to undestand what was happening, he didn't want to think that you, from all people, could try to attack him from behind

But those concerns were quickly erased as you take some steps back, letting your weapon fall and start apologizing, in your eyes even start forming some tears, your expresion change to one with such saddnes and shame that he even get worried, you didn't want him to see this part of you!

Then Qin take your face between his hands gently, making you look at him in the eyes and reasure you that he wasn't mad, and that everything is fine now

He make one of the servants take care of your daughter while he helped you, and after everything was in their place again you two talk about what happen

He carefuly heards your story, but at the end he reasures you that everything was fine, he still loves you and he wasn't planning to leave you anytime soon

He told you that if you become an assassin becouse you need it then you shouldn't be worried about that anymore, he can provide you with everything you need and want, but will support you if you want to continue with your work

He doesn't really bring the topic again just because he doesn't see a point to do it, everything continue like nothing really had happen, but the truth is that Qin is really interested in your work (he thinks that makes you just even more beautiful)

He even offer you to teach you some things about fighting

[petrichor-idyllic]

And just because I love your writing and definitely love Minho I would like to make another request (yes your personality now is to make Minho x fem!reader stories sorry :) ). So it's bonfire night and reader gets kinda drunk being somewhat flirty with Minho and when the bonfire is over Minho takes her to bed safely so she doesnt get taken advantage of some drunk boy and she confesses that she feels safe with him. Thank youuuu :)

Oooo yessss. This is right down my alley aha. I guess writing for Minho really is becoming my thing. Not that I'm complaining since I've been in love with him since I read the books when I was like twelve. That being said, I have a list of other characters I will write for pinned on my blog :))

UNDER THE INFLUENCE

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Takes place before the arrival of Thomas.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, some suggestive language and actions, teenage drink and dumb drunkenness.

Greenie Day has always been your favourite time of the month, even since you experienced your first day in the Glade.

Because it meant it was Bonfire night. It's the one night that everyone let loose a little bit. Under the night sky with the burning flame dancing and people enjoying themselves.

It was rare for people to have a break during the month, so you're not the only one who impatiently waits for the next day a scared Newbie shows up.

And now, it's even better. The boys were getting used to you and you them, earning a mutual respect where you aren't as scared to have some fun.

"Yes!" You exclaim, punching the air in celebration as the empty cup lands on it's head, beating Gally who is just hairs behind you. Claps and cheers from the small crowd of observers break out as Gally has to down another glass of his mystery liquid.

You'd been playing some dumb drinking game with a fair few boys for a while now. The faint buzz of the alcohol sinking in feels good, and you know Newt's nearby to step in if he needs to.

It's nights like these where the Glade doesn't seem so bad. Sure, the Maze is shit, but the Glade is like a mini heaven slapped right in the middle. When things goes smoothly, you really don't mind living there.

You fake bow, chuckling to yourself before you fistbump Gally, showing some true sportsmanship.

You continue playing some games, including a game of truth or dare, which ends up with Frypan sitting on the floor with no shirt on and you having to down an entire glass of moonshine.

"Okay, (Y/N), truth or dare?" Clint asks you between sips of his own drink.

"Hmm, truth."

"Ugh, again?"

"There's no way that I'm taking dares off of you slintheads."

"Okay, okay, uh," Clint thinks for a second, trying to think of a question, "Okay, I got one. Who, out of everyone here, do you think is the most attractive?" The boys seem to perk up at this question, all eyes falling on you.

You have an answer. Of course, you do. But you're not gonna answer.

You give Clint a smirk before taking a swig from your glass, silently forfeiting and earning a series of growns.

Subtly, your eyes wander last the group you're sitting with and over to the Runners. They normally sat on the outskirts of the group, and tonight isn't any different. They didn't really involve themselves with the events of the party, preoccupied with thinking and talking about the Maze.

It makes you feel bad for them. They sound all day, everyday out there and then they come back and can't get it out of their heads.

Which sucks for you because the answer to Clint's question is Minho.

The man is drop-dead gorgeous. He's athletic, quick, witty and respectful. You always find yourself staring when he comes back to the Glade- the sweat makes his already tight shirt stick to him, the harness exaggerating his features, his hair is always perfect to the point of it almost being comedic the casual glances he throws your way make butterflies form in your stomach. Not to mention, he's always been respectful, even jumping to your defence when the other boys try taking things too far.

It's not like you'd never spoken. You'd had a couple of brief conversations and you liked talking to the Runners- you seemed to brighten their grim days.

Someone sitting next to you suddenly clicks their fingers in front of your face, snapping you out of your trance. "Hello? You in there?"

"Sorry, what?"

"It's your turn to ask a question."

"Oh, right, sorry," you fake laugh, "totally zoned out there."

The drinking games continue, and by the end of it, you are drunk. You don't normally drink this much, but you've been having fun, so you lost track of yourself, and with Newt too distracted to stop you, you've slightly overdone it.

The light from the flame stretches in front of your eyes as you sway slightly. And all it takes is one glance at Minho for the liquid confidence to take over.

You strut- sorry, you attempt to strut over.

Minho has been left to his own devices, the other Runners have probably called it an early night, and no one else has approached him yet.

"Hey," you basically flop onto the log next him and he immediately raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly at your drunken state.

"Hi?" It comes out as more of a question, his natural curiosity taking over.

"You know," you slur slightly as you lean forward on your knees, "we don't speak very much."

"Yeah? Well, I'm a busy guy."

"Yeah, but it sucks."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Because we don't speak? Duh." A smile slowly creeps onto his face.

"I didn't know you wanted to speak to me so bad," he takes a sip out if his own drink and you watch as it leaves his lips and settles between his legs as his arms loosely fall between them.

"Yeah, well, you're hot, so," you drag out the 'o' sound and Minho sits there in some form of confusion and amusement.

You think he's hot? The only girl in the entire Glade thinks that he's attractive? That's got to be a flex if he's ever heard one.

Of course, Minho was just as bad as every other straight boy in the Glade- he's attracted to you. Unlike the other boys, he's respectful and keeps his distance. Even now, he's treading on thin ice, and he can tell you're under the influence.

Drunk words are sober thoughts and all, but he's not about to risk something you'll regret. He's smarter than that.

You take a swig from your glass, your lack of sobriety causing you to not even pay attention to Minho's lack of response.

"Okay," he leans over, taking the drink away from you and making you whine, "I think you've had enough."

"What?" You move towards him, swiping at the glass, which he moves behind him and above his head, completely out of your reach. "Give it back, Minho! You can't yell me what to do!"

You pay little attention to how close he is, too focused on retrieving your questionable beverage. But that doesn't mean Minho does. You're half sat up, nearly sitting on his lap as you lean forward, you shoulders almost connecting.

"Absolutely not," he puts his hand on your collarbone, careful with the placement as he pushes you back down and away.

"You're drunk."

"And?"

"You're too drunk."

"No, I'm not."

"You just called me hot."

"You're hot sober, too."

Minho snorts. Like, he actually laughs. There's no way this is happening. You're going to be kicking yourself in the morning, that's for sure.

"You're gonna regret this," Minho warns you.

"Why? You scared you'll have some fun?" You attempt to make a suggestive face, which comes across poorly. It just makes Minho hold back a laugh.

"We're not having any fun. There's no way I'm letting you do something you'll regret."

"Who says I'll regret it?"

"You, probably, a few hours from now."

"Find. Shuck you, then," you stand up dramatically, "I'll flirt with someone else then."

You walk away, not giving him a chance to say another word as you approach the closest Glader.

He can't hear what you're saying due to the chattering buzz that surrounds the Bonfire. But he watches as the other boy lets you hit on him, something you're doing in a very poor attempt to make Minho jealous.

It doesn't make him jealous. Well, it kind of does, but he can see what you're doing. More than anything, he's concerned. If you keep this up, you're going to get yourself in a very uncomfortable situation.

So when the Glader rests his arm around your waist, Minho is left with little choice but to act. He's on his feet fast, storming over and grabbing your wrist.

"Hey! What are you doing-?"

"Come on, I'm not watching this klunk," you let him pull you away from the dude. Minho leads you away, having to slow down slightly to make sure your drunken dumbass doesn't fall over.

"Changer your mind, pretty boy?" You coo, and he rolls his eyes, not even glancing at you.

"No." He's blunt. Understandably so.

He practically drags you to your hut- it's essentially a couple of twigs tied together with cement and rope. It was thrown up in a couple of days due to your unannounced and shocking arrival. Alby thought it wouldn't be a good idea for you to be out in the open in a hammock like most other Gladers. The only real requirement for the Builders was a locking door.

"Where's the key?" He says after trying your door.

"Huh?"

"The key? For your hut? Where is it?"

"Huh? Oh! Oh, okay," you've probably got the wrong idea about what's about to happen here. He wants to take you to bed. You want to take him to bed.

You fiddle with your jean pocket, pulling out an iron and slightly rusted key, which Minho basically snatches off you before kicking the door open.

Once you're inside, you grab his shirt, giving him no time to respond. "I knew you'd cave," you mumble, thinking that you're victorious, only for him to grab your arms and direct you towards the bed, pushing you and forcing you to fall backwards.

You screech, hitting the old mattress with a heady thud.

"Okay, sleep," he demands, pulling the covers from under you and making you fall again though you're quick to sit up straight.

"What? No! I don't wanna sleep- unless you-"

"Sleep. Now."

You groan, flopping back, your head fortunately hitting the pillow. He takes this opportunity to pull the blankets over you, tucking in the sides the minimise the chance of you moving again.

"You've gotta sleep this off, dude, this is concerning."

"But I'm still wearing my shoes!" You drag out the final word and Minho pauses, grumbling to himself.

"You gotta be shucking kidding me."

He moves the bottom of the blanket, untying your laces and struggling to get your boots off. You try to help by kicking them off, but it really doesn't do much.

"Okay," he stands up straight, "bedtime. Go to sleep."

He goes to leave, planning to lock the door behind him and then to just slip the key back under the door.

"Wait, Minho," he huffs,looking at you over his shoulder.

"What?"

"Thank you," your voice is quiet and suddenly he knows he's talking to you. "You make me so... safe. Thank you for protecting me."

Out of everything you've said and done in the past hour, that's the comment that almost makes him blush. He lets out a content sigh before offering you a soft smile- a gesture that few people get to see.

"Yeah, whatever," he manages to get out, "sleep."

The door slams behind him, and he does exactly what he intended to, leaving the key for you to find in the morning.

The walls begin to spin as you lay there, groaning into your pillow. You quickly start to wish you hadn't drank so much.

You don't remember when you fell asleep, but your head spins as you rise from your slumber. Your body hurts, but you're pleased to find yourself in your own room with little to no information of how you got there.

Your eyes fall to the key sitting on you floor, not that far away from the door.

"The hell..?" You stand up, swaying slightly and reaching for the wall as a wave of nausea hits you.

You struggle to pick up the key, but slowly, the pieces fall back together. It takes about fifteen minutes, but your brain manages to put the story back together.

"Oh, shit," you rub your face in your hands, sitting on the edge of your bed, cringing at yourself and not daring to leave just in case someone saw or heard how you interacted with Minho.

But you have to leave. You also play a role in the Glade, and you have to go to work.

Shit.

Eventually, you force yourself to get ready and head out. You let the shower wash away last njghts events and head to your job.

No one seemed shocked that you were late, but they also didn't seem to know anything that happened, which at least meant Minho had kept his mouth shut.

You'd missed breakfast and were too queezy for lunch, so when dinner came around you ate as much as you could.

You're so focused on your food that you don't even notice the Runner approach you until it's too late.

Minho clears his throat, scaring the shit out of you and making you physically jump.

The second you look at him, your face starts to burn. Oh God. It doesn't help that he looks so good after returning from his days work.

"Hi," he grins at you, making you shift under his gaze.

"Hi," you spit out and he sucks in a deep breath to try and stop himself from laughing before he can get his words out.

"So," he clears his throat, leaning on the table in front of you from the side, so he's close enough for other people to not hear, "you still think I'm hot?"

You practically choke on your unfinished mouthful, trying to compose yourself but your burning ears and avoiding eye contact is enough of a giveaway.

You finally manage to speak.

"Shut the fuck up."

Minho just laughs.

Another Minho piece so I can feed your guys' addiction. Sorry, this one isn't that long, but I felt like some light-hearted shenanigans were appropriate for this request. I know the plot is kinda vapid and not up to my standards, but this was fun to write.

Hope y'all enjoy :))

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WBITA if I tried to get my best friend to leave the Mormon church?

Complicated story. I was born pagan, later raised Mormon, reinforced by adoptive family. I met my best friend in the entire universe in the church, we've been friends for years now. If I can just vent about how much I love her: she is the inspiration of all my creative works, she's the only human being alive who can make me listen to a Taylor Swift song, she's funny and kind and stuck with me when she found out I was trans, in a notably transphobic church (shes queer herself).

Some time ago I was starting to get the faintest feeling that I was becoming disillusioned with the LDS church, but I was going through a tough time and chalked it up to me being neurotic and not knowing stuff (I am mentally disabled). Now, we don't live in Utah, so the Culty Shit isn't as pervasive where I am, so it's just possible that my lack of general knowledge about the church was because I was socially self-isolated and ignorant. I was surrounded by equal parts Mormon and non-Mormon peers. I was taught not to drink alcohol or have extramarital sex or abortions or wear immodest clothing (I was assumed a girl at the time). Somehow the only thing i felt absolutely certain of was that if i were brave enough to come out to my (extremely queerphobic) family, I would end up dead. Then I started to get older and ask questions about the gospel, the answers to which got progressively more unsettling. It went from "we're all destined to be gods someday" to "the lighter your skin is, the closer you are to God" and then "the colonization of America was Gods punishment on native people for not following His will". And since Mormonism supposedly encourages asking God questions, I asked, and the answer hit me that I was not supposed to be here.

Now, my best friend is in no way racist or queerphobic or even nationalist, I've known her long enough to be certain. She's said multiple times that she would die and kill for me and will always support me no matter how I change. She knows I'm disillusioned with the Mormon church and she bears me no ill will, our relationship has been largely normal. But I'm worried about her. Even out here, our Mormon woman friends get married and go on missions at a frighteningly young age. My friend hasn't expressed any interests in missionary work, and I think on some level she knows how colonialist the concept is.

But with Mormons, a big thing is that they're taught that apostasy is a huge wrong, and they make a big show of shunning apostates. I worry that if I point out the churches flaws, she'll see it as me trying to lead her astray, and shun me. There's a chance she might go through the same process I did and leave the church on her own, but I'm anxious about standing by and waiting. I'm worried for her. Should I interfere or let her come to her own conclusions?

What are these acronyms?

[footballfanficwriter]

The break up pt3

Summary:where Jude is Determined to get to the bottom of the reader's distress after finding her at Jobe's Match

⚠️mentions of abuse and physical abuse⚠️

A/n: This is still written from Jude's POV like pt.2 also don't play the song yet I'll let you know when to play it

We just got home from Jobe's match and he's obviously much calmer then he was when we left the house

"Ok what's the first order of business, Mr.stalker"

"Don't call me that, and the first thing we need to do is search all my fanpages"

"Why are we doing that"

"If this guy posted those pictures that we took together, which he most likely did, the fan pages will tag him and reveal his profile

"So what we're just going to wait until he posts the picture?"

"Exactly" I say

"For a detective, you're a very horrible one"

"Patience is the key to success"

"I wonder where that will get you"

After waiting for about 2 hours one of the fan accounts posted the picture of me and the guy with a tag to his profile

The rest of the night is spent trying to find any information that we can but everything is just a dead end

Y/n hasn't posted anything since we broke up, her "boyfriend" also doesn't post either unless it's on his story and he doesn't  have anything highlighted so we can't even see previous stories that he's posted

"Don't you think it's time to give it all up?, we've been at it for hours" Jobe asks

"Jobe, I think I've actually lost her, there's no way we're going to find her now, nothing on her account indicates where she could be, or where she could Be living"

"Jude I think it's time to let it go"

I sigh not knowing what to so next

"I think I'm gonna go to bed" I say

"Why don't you just find someone else to be with I'm sure it won't be that difficult"

"But that's the thing I don't want anyone else, I want her, and the time I actually want to care for her and help her she's not reachable, I feel so stupid, she was right there In front of me and I didn't do anything, I didn't approach or try to at least make contact,  I just stood there"

"You're being hard on yourself"

"This is the punishment I have to face for what I did"

"You went to therapy"

"It clearly isn't enough"

"You'll get over it Jude, sooner or later you will get over it and you'll look back on this moment and you'll laugh"

I give him a tight lipped smile as I can see that he's trying to cheer me up, I mean I love Jobe but sometimes the idiot is just annoying, most of the time he's supportive and is always there as my comfort

I call it a night and go to bed and fall asleep, well I try to fall asleep, I just lie awake staring at the ceiling

For the next 3-4 days my family and I are spending quality time and sharing family moments and making memories

"Jude, c'mon mate we're  gonna be late for the reservation"

"Bro what are you on about I'm the only one that's ready amongst the four of us"

After everyone is dressed and ready to go to the restaurant that we usually go to when we spend family time

When we arrive we order our food and coverstation starts flowing

I glance out the window and see a woman walking with her child in a pram/stroller

That's Y/n, she looks totally oblivious to her environment around her and doesn't seem to notice the truck coming up next to her as she's crossing the street

I quickly get up and run out of the restaurant to try and save the baby that is about to be killed

I run as fast as I can and make it just in time to pull the pram/stroller back onto the pavement/sidewalk

All that seems to have snapped y/n out of her trans and she looks at me like she's only just noticing my presence now

(Play the song)

"What are you doing here Jude"

"I was saving this baby"

"From what?"

"The truck"

"What truck?"

"The one that was about to kill the baby"

She sight and whispers "not again" under her breath

"Give me my baby back" she says

"Your baby?"

"Yeah"

I hand the baby back to her and she takes him and places him back into the pram/stroller

"Hey listen why don't you come back home with us, you look out of it right now and it's obviously not safe for the baby, i'll drive you back home"

"No thanks"

"C'mon y/n don't be like that, I promise I'm not going to do anything, you're free to leave any time you want"

"Fine" she says

I call the rest of my family and they greet Y/n, we go back home after our dinner date was cut jot due to the events that took place

When we arrive back home mum won't let this child go, she just refuses to put him down

Y/n sits on the couch like she's scared she'll ruin something

"Can I get you something?" I ask

"No thank you"

"C'mon y/n, don't be like that, let's talk"

"Jude I've got a lot of things on my plate right now to be stressing or talking about the past"

"I don't like the way we ended things"

"We wouldn't have had to end things if you had just kept it in your pants"

I look down in my lap not being able to face her and look her in the eyes

"I'm sorry"

"How many times have I  heard those words"

"This time I mean it"

"Whatever, can I have my child back now, I wanna leave, coming here was a mistake"

"Before you go I have one more thing to ask"

"What?"

"Is he mine"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because he looks like me"

"So?"

"That's usually an indicator of parental relation"

"Give me back my baby"

"Answer the question"

"I don't owe you anthing"

"I deserve to know, did you cheat on me?"

"Oh please Jude I am not like you, I don't cheat on people I'm in a relationship with"

"Then why won't you tell me"

"Because I don't want to"

"That's not an answer"

"Well then shame, give me my baby"

"Answer the question is that little boy in there my son"

She's silent

"Answer"

"Yes, he is"

To be continued...

Kidding, continue reading

"You kept that all away from me?, didn't you think I deserved to know?"

"Remember the day I left you, we had reservations made at a restaurant and we couldn't go because you'd forgotten we had plans and you came home drunk"

I nod my head indicating that I understand

"That was the day I was gonna tell you, that you and I would be parents"

"But still you should've told me"

"You came back home drunk, you'd forgotten the dinner reservations, you came back home with a hikey on your neck and having a feminine smell on your clothes, I obviously was'nt gonna tell you"

I step closer to her and place my hands on her arms and slightly grip on her arms

She flinches like I've just hit her

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah"

"I'm so sorry"

"I refuse to do this with you Jude" she says moving away from my hold

I try to ignore her rejection but I can't it's right there and I can't ignore it

"Can I have my child back now"

"He's our child"

"You were not there when he was born, all your rights of being a father have been revoked"

"I didn't know if I knew I would have been there"

"Well it's not my fault you decided to cheat, you made the choices you made and I never pressured you to do any of the things you did"

"So what are you going to do now?, this boy needs a father in his life, how are you going to fill the shoes of both a mother and a father?"

"I won't need to, because he already has a father"

"Who?"

"Chase"

"Who, the guy you were with at the stadium?"

"Yeah"

"You can't do that"

"Watch me, now I'm leaving"

"You convinced another guy that he was the father of our child"

"Oh no he knows, he's just there for support and to fill in the shoes you can't"

"Bit harsh innit"

"Whatever Jude"

She's about to go to the Kitchen to get the baby from my mom but I pull her by her long sleeve and it reveals her shoulder where I see a bruise

"What's that?" I ask

She looks at her shoulder and quickly pulls her shirt up

I have to get out of here" she says and walks away but before she can do that I pull her back

I take her arm and pull her sleeve up to reveal more bruises

"What happened"

"I bumped myself"

"You must have bumped yourself a lot of times then"

"Yeah I did"

"You're lying"

"What?"

"You're lying"

"What makes you say that"

"Your lip slightly twitches when you lie, but you have to watch it closely or else you miss it"

"You're such a creep"

"It's not creepy to notice, things about a person it just means I pay attention to the small things"

"Yeah well I notice small things as well"

"Oh yeah like what?"

"Like I notice how before every match you go to the pitch and you step in with your left foot then right, point each foot before crossing the line, poke the grass and wipe of the dirt of your pants"

"Yeah well that's not really something" I say

"Oh what about, when you're nervous"

"What do I do when I'm nervous"

"You wipe your eyebrows with your right hand, wiping your left first then your right"

"Ok fine then, I guess you do pay attention"

"See, I always pay attention to the little things"

"Yeah,and it seems like I can as well" I say

She pulls her hand out of mine and walks away

"Y/n, is he abusing you?"

She stops in her tracks and doesn't turn around

"No, he doesn't"

"Turn around"

She slowly turns around and looks down to the floor, I walk closer to her and lift her head up with my finger

"Does he abuse you"

"No" she says

"Your lip twitched"

"No it didn't"

"Y/n it did"

"No it didn't"

"So he abuses you"

"Sometimes"

"How often is somtimes?"

"Depends on what happens"

"What would provoke him to beat you?"

"If his favorite football team doesn't win, if I don't do something the way he wants me too, if the baby is crying and I can't keep him quiet"

"Y/n, that's not right"

"It's fine"

"No it's not"

"Jude it's fine, I've gotten use it"

"I'm gonna kill him, where is he"

"Jude stop , I have to live with it, I can't leave him, he took everything from me, he  forced me to quit my job, took away my savings and took away any assets that I had for myself"

It's quiet for some time and I look at her and she looks like she's thinking about a lot

"Is my taste in men really that bad, am I really that desperate for love that even when there are clear and obvious signs that I'm not loved I still stay?" She asks herself crying

"What do you mean? I ask

" I was in love with a man that cheates then got pregnant by him, then I moved out and got into a relationship with an abuser and now I have nothing"

"Y/n, there aren't any words in this world to Express how sorry I am for everything that I've done to you, I just really need you to know that, and I'm working on myself i really am, I've started going to therapy and my therapist says that I've made a lot of progress"

"That's very good for you Jude, I'm proud of you for finally taking my advice, I know how scared you were"

She moves to the sofa and sits in silence, I move to the sofa next to her and sit next to her and we sit In silence until I break it

"Come live with me"

"What"

"I'm not saying get back together with me, I'm just saying come live with me, you and our baby boy, we'll co parent and that's as far as our relationship will go, we'll share the responsibilities of parents and we can help eachother"

"I don't know Jude"

"Please, I want to prove that I can be a good father and that I can be there for my son, I want to be present in my child's life"

"What about Chase?"

As she says that her phone rings, she looks at her phone then back at me

"It's him"

"Hello?"

"Yeah, I decided to take Enzo for a walk, he was restless and he didn't want to sleep so I thought I should take him out a bit"

"Yeah, we're on our way home soon"

"Yeah, I'll cook"

"He won't make a noise, yeah I promise it won't happen again"

"Bye, I love you too"

She hangs the phone and looks at me

"You're not going back there, I won't allow it, if I let you go there how do I know that you'll be safe?"

"Jude, please don't make this difficult"

"Y/n, I'm not letting you leave this house to go to an abuser"

"Stop"

"No"

"Jude"

"Y/n"

"Fine, but if he comes for me or my son you will be held responsible"

"Deal, so does that mean you're moving in with me?"

"Well I have no where else to go, my mother disowned me, and she doesn't know about Enzo, so yeah I guess we are"

"Great, we leave next week, so get everything you need cause we won't be back in England for some time"

"Ok but how am I suppose to do that with Chase as our obstacle, all our clothes and things are there in the house"

"We'll sneak into the house when he's at work and take your things"

"Ok"

"We'll leave tomorrow, for now just get comfortable and don't stress about anything"

"Thank you Jude"

"You're welcome y/n"

"Where is Enzo?"

"With my mom, c'mon I'll show you the guest room"

We walk upstairs and I show her to the guest room

"Here you are"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome, get some rest, I'll take care of Enzo"

"Ok thanks, remember he doesn't like to be held like a baby, also when you feed him use a spoon not a teaspoon, he doesn't like it, place a bib on him because he always makes a mess and if you want to put him to sleep hold him close to your chest and play late 90s-Early2000s R&B songs, he's just weird like that I don't know I think he gets it from you"

"Ok, don't worry I'll look after him"

"Thank you"

"No problem"

I walk out of the room and head downstairs to find everyone cooing at Enzo

"Are they staying?" Mom asks

"Yeah, they are, actually we're moving I

together"

"What?"

"They are coming with us to Madrid next week"

"Oh ok that's great" mom says

"So is he your child?"

"Yeah he is"

"Why didn't she tell you about him?" Dad asks

"Dad I wasn't honest with you when I told you the reason for My break up with y/n"

"Why did you do?"

"I cheated on her multiple  times and eventually she got fed up and left but it turns out when she left she was pregnant with my child and she didn't tell me, because I had upset her"

"My gosh Jude, how can you mess up like that"

"I know, I know but now we're ok we're moving in together and I've been going to therapy so I'm working on bettering myself"

"So you're getting back together?"

"No we're not, we just gonna be co parenting and sharing responsibilities because Y/n's boyfriend has been abusive towards her and just because we're not together anymore, doesn't mean I can't protect her"

"Well I'm glad, you know I've always wanted to be a grandma" mom says

"But taking care of a child is not easy" dad says

"That's why we'll have eachother"

"And me" mom says

I give her a thankful look and she smiles at me

"We going to get her and Enzo's things tomorrow, it's just clothes so we'll be fine"

"And what if you meat her boyfriend there, then what?"

"We won't, and even if we do he won't try anything,especially with me there"

"Ok Jude, but just be careful, you don't know what he's capable of" Mom says

"I will, I promise,Where's Enzo"

"Who?"

"The baby"

"That's his name?"

"Yeah"

"Oh how cute"

"Yeah, it is anyway where is he, he probably hasn't eaten"

I pick him up and walk to the kitchen to try and find something to each, I finally decide to in mash potatoes since he can't eat solid foods yet

After making the mashed potatoes I sit on the couch and place a towel on my leg because y/n said it gets messy when he eats

after feeding him and swiping his mouth I try to put him to sleep

So I walk to my room, switch the speaker on and put them on low volume so it's not so loud, I take my shirt off and carry him and he lays his head on my chest right by my heart and I start swaying from side to side while lightly singing along with the song

He eventually falls asleep, but I don't want to lay him down yet, and as if on queue the door opens to reveal y/n

"Hi" she says

"Hey"

"Is he asleep"

"Yeah, he is, your advice worked, he wasn't restless at all"

"Wait until you actually see his restless side, it won't be so pretty

"Yeah I can imagine, hey are ready to leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah a bit nervous but I'm ready"

"Ok, well if you need anything just let me know"

"Yeah, I just wanted to check on Enzo, Denise told me he was with you"

"Yeah"

"Ok well uhm if you need me I'll be in the guest room"

"I'll bring him in a few moments"

"Ok"

She leaves the room and closes the door on her way out leaving us both with her scent

I sigh and continue swaying from side to side with my son in my arms

After about an hour and 30 minutes I walk out of the room and walk to the guest room where y/n is

I knock on the door and she opened the door

"I just came to bring him back"

"Oh yeah, uhm you can place him on the bed"

I walk into the room and place Enzo on t3 bed and he coos

"Thanks "

"Yeah,oh and by the way we're leaving at 8:00 am Tomorrow"

"Ok, I'll see you Tomorrow"

"Great"

I leave the room and go to my own and just let the say sink in

After some time I decide to go to bed and sleep but like always I can't and I just end up starting at the ceiling until I hear my bedroom door open

"Jude?" I hear y/n voice in the dark

"Mh"

"Are you asleep?"

"No, what do you need"

"Enzo won't stop crying and I've tried everything but nothing is working, do you mind taking him, maybe he'll settle down"

"Sure bring him over" I say

She walks over towards me and places Enzo next to me, but he cries even more

Y/n picks him up and starts bouncing up and down trying to calm him down

"Come here" I say

"What?"

"Just trust me"

"Ok"

She gets into bed next to me

"Now what" she asks

"Lye on the bed and get comfortable"

She sighs but does it anyway

I do the same and enzo lies on his back and stops crying immediately

Cheeky little thing

After a few minutes I finally fall asleep.

The next day

It 7:30 in the morning and y/n and I need to leave the house in 30 minutes

We reach the apartment at 8:30 and she opens the door to the apartment and to say it was a mess would be an understatement

There were empty beer bottles lying everywhere on the floor broken glass, a couch that looked like it came from the junk yard every piece of furniture was horrible

"I'll get started" y/n says breaking me out of my trans

"Ok"

I walk around the apartment and the more I walk the more in disbelief I am, the fact that Enzo had to live here and how much abuse Y/n had to endure

I walk into a room that looks like it was once a baby's room but the cradle is in a pile of wood like it was smashed and in the corner is a mattress with a huge stain of blood in the middle with a blanket and a pillow

Y/n walks into the room

"I'm done packing"

"So quickly?"

"Yeah well there was not much anyway"

"Ok, let's go then"

We leave the apartment and drive back home in silence

"So I noticed there was no bed there, where did you and Enzo sleep"

"On the Mattress that you saw in the baby room"

"The one that had a huge stain on it?"

"Yeah"

"How did the blood get there"

"He'd hit me very hard one day and it was painful I could barely recognize my face in the mirror and instead of putting ice on my wounds I just slept on the mattress and bled there and I tried to wash the stain but it never came off , so I just cuddled him like teddy bear"

"I'm sorry, you had to go through that?"

"It's fine"

When we arrive at home Enzo is fast asleep thanks to my mother

"Hey mom"

"Hi love, you alright?"

"Yeah, we got everything we needed"

"Oh that's great, Enzo is asleep"

"Ok, thank you Denise"

"No problem love"

"Uhm y/n, I forgot to tell you but I got a message from Madrid yesterday and we have to cut our stay short, we need to leave the day after tomorrow"

"So this is our last day here?"

"Yeah it is but we'll come back eventually"

"It's fine, it's not like I have anything keeping me here"

"Ok, just be ready"

"Yeah I will, anyway I'm going to take a shower"

"Ok"

She walks upstairs and heads to the bathroom

"You still like her don't you?"

"Unfortunately, more then I would like to admit it"

"Just take it slow ok, think about your baby boy and everything will fall into place"

"Yeah, but she seems resistant"

"She's heartbroken Jude, she's obviously going to start pushing all her Male interests away"

"Yeah, I guess you're right"

2 days later

"Bye love, we'll see you soon ok , and we'll call you as soon as we arrive

"Ok mom, I love you"

"I love you too Jobe"

We say goodbye to Jobe and dad because we're going back to Spain

The time I spent here was nice I really enjoyed myself and I found y/n after I had no hope of finding her and I found out I had a son which is also amazing but I'm concerned for y/n I think she needs therapy after the things she went through she'll definitely need it

After we arrive in Madrid, we drop mom off at her house we go back to mine and the minute we walk in y/n scopes the house

"I haven't been here in a while"

"Everything is still where you left it"

"Thanks, we'll tale the guest room"

"Cool"

She walks away with her and Enzo's bags then comes back to get Enzo

"Goodnight Jude"

"Goodnight Y/n"

She walks away toward the guest room

"Oh hey I was thinking, what do you think of going to Therapy, you know maybe get someone to talk to about your trauma and stuff"

"I'll think about it"

"Ok"

"Thanks for the suggestion"

"No problem"

"And I promise I'll be out of your hair soon, I'll find a job and move out, but you'll still get to see Enzo, we'll have 50/50 % of custody over him"

"No don't be in a rush to move out, you can stay for as long as you need to"

"I don't think that's gonna work, well goodnight"

"Goodnight"

And she's gone, she's so close yet so far

[queenendless]

🏫School Mates (SuzaLulu x Reader)PT 1🏫

A/N: Testing the waters with posting the few fanfic content I have out so far for one of my nine fave anime ever. This reworked piece I've had for a long while is coming out. This AU is where you're a late new student at Ashford Academy. Yeah, it's sort of a love triangle. Hopefully, I can make this short story make sense in some way. All credit for Code Geass characters and pics goes to Sunrise.

DON'T COPY OR STEAL MY FANWORK, RATHER LIKE AND REBLOG. I hope you enjoy.

"Y/n … Y/n … Y/N!"

You get awoken from your dream by the calling of your name. Your head resting on your folded arms snaps up in attention to who spoke out only to spot violet eyes trained on you, exasperatedly looking at you.

"Being the new student and sleeping during class isn't a good way to make a good impression. Be grateful you sit behind me, otherwise you'd have your neck strung out by the teacher."

You then noticed students parting as class was over "Mmm … sorry … Lelouch." You mumble sleepily as your rub your tired eyes.

Said man, Lelouch, glared a bit more before his eyes softened, sighing before running a hand through his hair. "Honestly, where would you be without me?"

"I'd be dead." You dully uttered. You get hit lightly on the head by a rolled up paper, making you pout at him. "Hey!"

"No time for jokes. Come on, the others are waiting." Lelouch put the paper in his bag before taking your hand and pulling you to your feet, dragging you behind him.

"Lelouch, I can walk to the student council room just fine without you dragging me like a rag doll." You pitifully moaned as you felt sparks run through your hand as his held yours tighter taking the lead.

"You've been attending here for weeks now and you still get lost in these halls." Lelouch reminded you in matter of fact tone. His tone made you stick your tongue out with his back facing you. "And I'd quit sticking my tongue out if I were you or else you'll attract flies."

"Come on, Lelouch. Cut her some slack. She's still a late transfer, after all." An amused voice lightly chided as your free hand was held by a callous, warm hand that easily pulled you free from Lelouch's grip. "I got your back, Y/n." You turned around to see Suzaku in time as he gently bumped your shoulder with his fist, smiling carefree.

"My knight in shining armor," you softly cheered as you hugged Suzaku's arm, giving a closed eye smile as both guys blushed as they thought it was one of the cutest smiles they've ever seen. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Suzaku laughed a bit, smiling toothily back at you.

"If you two are going to flirt in my face, I'm not sticking around to watch." Lelouch rolled his eyes, he almost sounded like he was jealous; especially when deep down he didn't like you hugging Suzaku's arm in his presence. And he didn't know he would feel that sort of emotion over such a silly thing. But he couldn't keep a small smile from growing on his face as he shook his head to clear those ridiculous thoughts. "Come on, you two."

When you did arrive …

"Okay everyone, time for GUTS~!" Milly was loud and flamboyant as always.

"Aw come on, Prez! Another guts spell right from the start?" Rivalz complained, even though underneath he was secretly swooning for her hard.

"Um … hello …" Nina was typing at her computer, being meek as usual.

"Nice of you three to finally show up." Kallen said nonchalantly.

"Hi, Lulu~! Ready for another day of good old student council work~!?" Shirley ran over to greet Lelouch, teeming with a giddy, enthusiastic personality.

"Ready as always. You all should know that by now." Lelouch smiled charmingly, making Shirley almost swoon as the meeting commenced.

As the daily meeting began and went on for an hour and a half, you couldn't help but have your eyes travel around the room, landing on each single person. Every person here welcomed you into their school lives and their personal lives in some way.

Milly was as flirtatious as she was dramatic in her own lovable way.

Rivalz crushing on the pres hard while also being a goofball.

Nina, well, she was a shy introvert but a genius beneath … even though there were times you felt suspicious towards her.

Shirley, such an upbeat, enthusiastic girl with a good heart even though she's obviously falling hard for Lelouch and making it so obvious to everyone.

And Kallen, looks calm and mysterious on the surface but you had a feeling there was more to her and you had no idea why but you kinda like her for it. They slowly but surely became the first ever friends you ever made.

Soon, the meeting ended and you walked between Lelouch and Suzaku to the clubhouse which is also Lelouch's home on campus that he shared with his maid Sayako; you get the impression there was more to her like with Kallen as someone not to underestimate, and his little sister Nunnally … she was like the little precious sister you never thought you wanted; spending quality time with her especially when Lelouch was away doing his own thing.

Speaking of, Lelouch and Suzaku even … they were like two sides of the same coin. Two peas in a pod. So similar yet so different in their own respective ways. Lelouch is the brains, Suzaku is the brawn, but put them together … there's nothing they can't accomplish. You couldn't have one without the other and you wouldn't have it any other way.

In fact, it was Lelouch himself that allowed you to live with him and his sister in the clubhouse and asked Milly to convince her grandfather to allow it since the dorms on campus were already full. You may not remember much of your life before coming here, but a lot of meaning was brought back into your life, gaining new memories and a new life instead.

'So, why do I still have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind … this added pressure deep within my heart for how I feel towards these two guys … seems familiar. Whether it's good or bad … I don't know.'

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"I like pancakes with marshmallows on top~! Heeheehee~! Yippee~! Whee~!" You blurted out randomly, causing Nunnally to laugh gleefully as she clapped, making you laugh too. You had just finished dinner with Nunnally and the guys; Suzaku was invited to eat over since he's their occasional guest as well as their childhood friend, and you were currently playing with Nunnally's hair. From the moment you met her, your heart instantly melted at the pure innocence that is Nunnally Lamperouge that compelled you to protect the precious girl with all your might!

"Oh, I'd love to try that sometime! Can we?" Nunnally had hope laced in her voice.

"Your wish is my command, my lady." Lelouch smiled charmingly, bowing before his little sister, making her giggle.

"I second that request, please." You raised your hand, smiling bashfully.

"At your service, my lady." Suzaku appeared by your side, also bowing to you, making your cheeks heat up and feel all fluttery inside. His eye closed smile radiated sunshine that is this wholesome boi.

As Lelouch gathered the empty plates to take to the kitchen to clean them up, you noticed him stopping to side glance at you, nodding his head for you to follow, before walking through the doorway. "I um … I'll be back in a bit, Nunna."

"Okay. Suzaku, do you want to make paper cranes with me? Miss Sayako and I were working on some earlier."

"That sounds fun. I'd love to." Seeing him gaze affectionately at her like another older brother to her made your heart skip a beat before you walked to the kitchen.

You spotted Lelouch's back to you as he washed the dishes. You slowly approached him, feeling nervous as you wondered what he wanted. You rubbed your arm as you do when you're anxious. The sound of his voice made you halt in your tracks.

"You and Nunnally have gotten closer over time. It feels like just yesterday when I met you; a meek new girl to our class. And yet, as days passed by, that very same girl became a part of our daily lives. As a school mate, then a student council member, and now a friend. For what was once hollow is now becoming whole again. At least, that's my basic sum of it."

You felt your stomach tie itself in knots as you timidly approached him, "And now?"

You watched as the reflection of his calm face in the window above the sink looked back at you; his violet eyes twinkling with speculation, before looking over his shoulder, now looking amused. "You look like a scared little thing with that look on your face. Relax. I'm not gonna bite."

"A – Are you sure about that?" You gulped audibly.

"I'm serious. I'm grateful to you for being here for Nunnally in my stead. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful to Sayako and the student council being around to spend time with her when I'm busy with stuff … and I don't say this as much as I should … but … thank you." The smile he gave to you felt genuine and it made your heart flutter.

"It – it's fine. Nunnally … she's an absolute angel. And I'm grateful to her and you and everyone for accepting me into the student council and your friend group – !"

You stop speaking mid sentence. You froze, stunned in shock at the feel of lips pressed against your cheek. It took you a minute before you blinked your eyes back into focus from the daze you were in. "Consider this my gift to you."

You slowly raised your hand to touch your cheek; the tingling feeling where his lips touched your skin made something within you click into place. Your eyes traveled to meet his; you swore you just saw them glow magenta for a moment there. But his eyes were fine. Very fine in your opinion as you became lost in their beautiful violet sea; almost like delving deep into his soul and searching for something beyond your understanding.

You felt an unfathomable pull to him, making you lean closer as you noticed he did the same when the realization that Lelouch kissed your left cheek made you snap out of it; face aflame as you covered your mouth to muffle your squeak of surprise, snapping Lelouch of his apparent trance as well as he blinked several times to get back into focus.

"Mmm … I swear, everything I say and do gets you so easily flustered, doesn't it?" He laughed softly, even though his cheeks were flushed red too.

"N – No!" That just made him snicker in his hand. "I – I should head back now."

"But seriously, Y/n." You looked back to see his smile still there, tender and true. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

You returned to the living room and felt a smile break out at the sight of Nunnally and Suzaku smiling, laughing, making paper cranes together when Suzaku noticed you and waved you over to help out. But you were still reeling from what transpired in the other room.

'Lelouch kissed me. Of all people, me! It was on the cheek, but still! I don't know that much about his personal life; aside from his gambling trips with Rivalz. Did he kiss anyone before, cheek or otherwise? Before me?' You couldn't get that image of Lelouch's bemused expression out of your mind. You also couldn't ignore the fact that you felt Suzaku's eyes on you, a suspicious glaze to them.

Sooner than you expected, it was time for Suzaku to leave. You were lost in thought as you watched Suzaku bent down to hug Nunnally before nodding at Lelouch only to have your name being called on, pulling you out of it to say good bye. But as he smiled and waved, walking out the door, you watched his retreating form while Lelouch pushed Nunnally's wheelchair to her bedroom to get her ready for bed. That's when you felt the same magnetic pull with Lelouch reappear, making you follow the soldier outside.

"Suzaku, wait!"

He stopped in mid walk and turned back around, curiosity and concern flashed on his face as he cocked his head to the side, making him appear that much cuter. "Y/n? What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No … the exact opposite, in fact. I feel …" Why are you feeling this way, twice in a row? "I just want to say thank you. Not just for tonight, but for every day since we became friends. It means a lot to me." You rubbed your arm, shyly smiling. "You … mean a lot to me."

His smile lite a fire in your heart. "You mean a lot to me too. You, Lelouch, Nunnally, the student council … you've all become so important to me." He walked towards you until you were standing face to face. "You above all else."

You gaped at seeing his face start to flush red and his green eyes became glossy and … tempted. "I … I am?"

He looked a bit stunned before his face broke out into a smile. "Aw, come on. You honestly can't see why?"

What happened next took you by surprise, almost as much as Lelouch's did.

The feeling of Suzaku's lips pressed against your other cheek; once normal but now burning with heat from those soft velvety lips of his. He pulled back to give a bashful smile, scratching his cheek, "Is that enough proof for you?"

You gingerly touched your cheek, feeling the warmth beneath your fingertips, as butterflies fluttered in your stomach and your heart was racing quickly. But that's when you noticed his green eyes glow; those mesmerizing emerald gems now stuck upon your awaiting face. His eyes softened as did his smile.

Your cheeks burned as you smiled shyly at him. "I … think so."

Suzaku laughed softly before holding your hands. "Y/n, you do mean that much to me. This past month spent in school with you, sharing classes and having study sessions, even just spending time with you like that has been … wonderful." You smiled the more he talked, leaning closer as did he when you noticed his eyes looking over you to far behind you; suspicion laced in them. "It's getting late. I should head back to my place. Have a good night … " Suzaku pulled your hands up to litter gentle kisses on top of them, making you smile bashfully, " … Y/n."

You took him by surprise as you leaned up to kiss his cheek "Good night, Suzaku."

You waved good-bye as his goofy smiling face looked back at you over his shoulder as he waved back too while hurrying off, almost falling over his feet from not watching where he was going, causing you to laugh out loud at his stumble.

But unbeknownst to you but not to the brunette was that Lelouch was watching outside his bedroom window.

He watched his best friend kiss your cheek as he did earlier.

He watched as Suzaku ran off, leaving you smiling and blushing as you felt yourself floating off your feet as you walked back inside.

He did not look happy. Not one bit.

[slime-enby]

Rachael and Holding Onto the Past and Abuse and Themes

hey cw up front on this one: there's gonna be discussion of abuse n grooming in here

I have been plagued by thinking about the themes of An Atompunk Opera, the New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness. It really was a struggle for me and i think mostly that difficulty came down to the character Rachael. As much as i loved her, jokes about her just "being a taxi" for the True Real story kinda kept me from thinking about her story and her writing and giving it proper weight and thought. And that isn't to say that she isn't a passive protagonist for much of the story, she very much is. From the moment she escapes the asylum she was kept in until she runs out on Lee into the arms of Elysium's angels, the narrative mostly happens to and around her. She very much reacts to it.

I think this fits into what I've come to understand as a big theme of An Atompunk Opera, the New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness, of holding on too tight to an ideal past to the detriment of seeing, let alone making a new future to be happy in. The most obvious character to point to for this theme is Connor, who was so focused on saving Lee to the detriment of his relationship with zip (mascot 3000) that zip just calls Conner "the madman" instead of dad. and in the end instead of forging a new future with the kid he does have with him, instead he's left with neither one. We see this in Lee's last moments as well, he wants to hold onto and mend a relationship with the woman he thinks is the reincarnated soul of his long dead love, and clinging onto it ends up killing him.

Rachael doesn't seem to be outwardly holding onto something from her past though, does she? I mean all she does after escaping the asylum she was put in after she wanted to keep the pregnancy from a guy who groomed her was follow the instructions of this man older than her because she's lost alone and disoriented- oh hm.

Up front i am not comparing Connor to the man that abused Rachael. This isn't a "Connor is secretly this even worse thing" kind of post. This is a discussion of reaction TO years of abuse and cycles. And Themes. Love a theme.

Rachael is a character who as we meet her in her song details being wooed by a man much older than her n whom demands respect from her life. I have been in similar situations to this. Being made small n to listen to directions leaves a huge impact n even after moments of sticking up for oneself it is very easy to still slip into those patterns. Rachael, i believe, is still subconsciously clinging to a past or more accurately trauma of needing to look for instruction and approval. And as a more active role, is holding on to ideas of soul mates and romance to get her through her life. She's holding on to the love song just for her on the radio. She's the character who's holding on with two gripped fists to something that wasn't good in the first place. Her story is so, so necessarily about being able to let her past go.

So she is a taxi in the story as she's told to be. She goes to elysium because she doesn't have much better to do and as she thinks its where her promised love will be waiting. She steps into elysium greeted by a welcome party!

Then it comes crashing down when Lee tells her that she doesn't feel like Adrian, the he cannot love her in the way she wants. So she runs, and she cries and she wants to die.

And then she lives, and then she chooses to keep living, not chasing after acceptance or recognition or her destined love. Rachael chooses to carve out something new with her acceptance into elysium, and with Zip. She gets to have a happy (after?)life because she's the character who finally stopped clinging to a past that she shouldn't return to

[dipplinduo]

How would you rank the gens?

Ope I feel like I'm gonna upset some people LOL so disclaimer remember these are just my takes.

But this is how I personally see them (counting remakes as being part of the gen they remaking):

Gen 9 - Paldea Region

I've been thinking about this since the games came out, so I'd like to say recency bias isn't as much of a factor here. Bugs aside, I genuinely, genuinely love the storytelling, characterizations, and open world approach. FRIENDS THAT FEEL LIKE ACTUAL FRIENDS?? HAVING THE LEGENDARY WITH YOU THE WHOLE TIME, AND IT TOO HAS A PERSONALITY & BACKSTORY??? THREE SEPERATE STORYLINES THAT CONNECT TO A CANONICALLY DEAD PROFESSOR AND AN "EVIL AI" FINAL BOSS??? Like omg. I was amazed. I honestly usually dislike the "gimmicks" each generation brings, but terastilization caught my interest and I have a strong feeling nothing will personally top it as a gimmick for me. The DLCs really sent it all home for me for the #1 spot, like oh my god LOL. Past DLCs always just felt like something extra, but I literally cannot see this game as being complete without Kieran, Carmine & the rest of Kitakami/Blueberry peeps & their storylines. My interest in the games only grew because of all of it - and that's a massive compliment given the fact of how hard it is to accomplish such a level of monumental significance with only a few hours of gameplay. I've yet to replay the game with earlier access to The Teal Mask, but I feel like this would make it even more immersive. Just pure chef kisses here.

Gen 2 - Johto Region

A very close second. Heartgold/Soulsilver is the most elite remake in existence and idc if it's old school, I'll die on this hill. Johto is just so full of life - the continuation story is amazing, the immersion into culture and legendary stuff??? Mwah. Silver is an excellent rival, RED being a thing (the ultimate level of iconicism), and the double region will always hit. The soundtracks HIT and my god hearing them remastered iS INCREDIBLE. I even get obsessed with the pokeathlon dome and I'm usually not someone who gets into that kind of stuff. But THEY MADE IT FUN. And I love all the cute activities you can do with your team that can follow you around. So glad they brought this feature back. :')

Gen 5 - Unova Region

Oooooh I loved the reset of Gen 5. It's based on where I'm from and there were so many refreshing aspects of Black & White. From the new pokemon, to the NYC culture, to N & the whole beautiful storytelling there, and a sequel that somehow made everything even MORE polished. I literally remember referring to this region as the "Isshu Region" before the English names dropped becuase of the hype LOL. 10/10, cannot wait for these remakes. Gamefreak don't mess this up.

Gen 4 - Sinnoh Region

Oh, Gen 4. You hit good. The lowkey dreary vibes of Sinnoh is very nostalgic to me, and Piplup is one of my best buddies. Cynthia being the very first female Champion, and being as fearsome as she is, was such a big deal to me. Definetely Barbie'd her a bit in my mind because I look a like her and loved how much of an academic she was (but I def do not have her length in hair, lmao). Soundtracks are fire, of course. The way legendaries were integrated in the story without going too Dragonball Z was IMMACULATE, and the lake trio will always be my fave lil buddies. The only con I'd give this gen is that I disliked the HM reliance & D/P are practically unplayable to me since Platinum exists. I had low bars for the remake once I heard it wasn't Platinum, and ugh, they really dropped the ball. HOWEVER: while it isn't main line, I fucking love Legends: Arceus and would rather have that over an excellent remake, tbh.

Gen 1 - Kanto Region

This is another nostalgia one for me because of the fact that I quite literally was introduced to pokemon since before I can recall most memories (this is what happens when you have an older sibling with a gameboy, lol). It's probably tied with Gen 4, tbh. Firered wasn't my first game, but it hit really good because I "played" so much of R/B/Y. I know Gen 1 has its faults, and it's often seen as being pretty bare bones in comparison to other generations. And while I completely agree, god damn, what a good foundation for a franchise. Every town had a personality to it and is very memorable to me. The soundtracks are FIRE. Smaller pokedex, but damn does team building hit (and the starters are elite). Blue was also consistently my favorite rival until Kieran, lol. #oldrivalshipping/conflictingshipping was the original OTP xD

Gen 7 - Alola Region

So there's a lot of things I liked about Gen 7. It took a really big risk by breaking the formula, and it really immersed me into the Hawaiian culture & seeing your pokemon more as friends. I loved looking at pokemon in a different way and some of the pokemon introduced in this region are among my favorites (e.g. Ribombee, Bewear, Shiinotic, Mimikyu, Rockaruff, to name a few; starters also HIT). NEBBY AND LILLIE ARE ELITE. The professor is so lit, and Team Skull is the funniest team organization alive. AND YES, GET RID OF THE HMS. I honestly think a remake would make this gen jump up a bit more for me - the 3DS could barely handle this game, and it was showing. The facial expressions also need some work LOL, and I honestly dread the tutorial of the game. I like the ultrabeasts conceptually, but the execution of their involvement in the game is very DragonBall Z-ified. Ultra Necrozma lowkey would've been an amazing time for a "light" type even if it didn't make much sense, but hey, it was an awesome nuzlocke-killing moment anyway. xD

Gen 8 - Galar Region

I actually have a lot of play time for this gen. I was very obsessed with it when it came out, and could probably get glued to it all the same nowadays. But in hindsight, I realize a lot of my attachment to it was because of the semi-open worldness & ability to create a lot of different kinds of teams with a lot of new and old pokemon I like (I also liked having access to things earlier, like Ice Types before the end of the game lmfao). I still have a few things I really enjoy outside of it, though, like Hop's storyline & the setup of the gyms being in this stadium, sports-esque setting. But the plot? Eh. I have a lot of constructive criticism on how some shortcuts were made, and especially with the whole darkest day stuff lol. The only thing I liked about that fight was the dogs coming in and being cool; I wasn't impressed by or interest in Eternatus at all. The Leon fight afterward was fun, though! But oof, those weird men with the sword and shield hair afterwards were also just...no. :D DLCs also didn't quite hit that hard - it was more about having more pokemon than anything for me. So overall, it's fun to play, but I'd definitely change up the plot to make it better.

Gen 3 - Hoenn Region

This is where I think some people might wanna fight me, and to that I say you're probably valid. I don't know what it is with the Hoenn region because I actually don't have too many critiques about it (e.g., let's have less water routes); I just have never been able to get into it quite the same as I can others. I should honestly give it another shot, but I think I'd wanna do Emerald over Omega Ruby/Sapphire given the route they took everything with the remake lol. That's about all I have to say on this one since I never really connected with it as much!

Gen 6 - Kalos Region

This one feels like an especially hot take to have atm given where the pokemon community is in general LOL. Critical opinions ahead......Listen...no offense, but Gen 6 just ain't it for me at all. xD It's probably the one gen I actively dislike. The games felt way too easy with too much hand-holding/handouts, Team Flare & Diantha were a joke (and I'm not even a competitive player), and the whole group of friends felt more like an annoyance to me more than anything. They just weren't flushed out right. Neither was the plot. Like what was that plot. Outside of that, a lot of things just felt like "Look! Pokemon is in 3D now!!" over and over again because of how rushed the game was. So other than introducing fairy types & having pretty protagonists with some new clothing options, this gen is pretty forgettable to me. And that's a shame, because I like pokemon! I was one of those people who were curious on if we were gonna connect to Kalos for Gen 9, but I'd geniunely pick the DLCs we got any day of the week. I don't think Legends ZA will change much of my opinion on the mainline game, but given how much I loved Legends Arceus, I'm hoping it can be used to retcon & generate more interest/connection to the Kalos region in general.

Again, these are all just my personal opinions. I hope you all can enjoy pokemon in any way that feels good for you :) <3

[fictionadventurer]

the animation style isn't for everyone, but my family typically watches the 2009 Christmas Carol with Jim Carrey - if you're up to try another adaptation I wonder what you'd think of it! It does include both the scene of the ghosts and of Ignorance and Want, and iirc a pretty big percentage of the dialogue is straight out of the original book.

I'm actually watching it right now, and I've been checking patches of the dialogue against Gutenberg. Aside from cutting out some lines from conversations, the dialogue is pretty much word-for-word from the book. In the scene with Marley, Scrooge even says, "Thank'ee," where it would have been easy to substitute, "Thank you." Unfortunately, some of the lines they've cut are the religious ones, but I guess we can't have everything.

I was going to wait to give thoughts until I could give a full review, but I'm actually watching this version because I was so impressed by the patches of it I caught on TV, and this gives me a chance to talk about some of the things I've liked.

Jim Carrey as Scrooge works shockingly well. He really throws himself into the part. All the weird little gremliny body language makes him this loathsome creature, but in a comic way that feels very Dickens.

Starting with Scrooge signing Marley's death certificate was such a smart choice. They managed to work in the "dead as a doornail" line without narration!

I had been hoping for Scrooge to steal something from Marley's body during his death scene in the Sim version, and was disappointed they didn't go that route. But this version does! It's such a good choice.

This might be the first Bob Crachit I haven't loved--he looks too ratlike and henchman-y. But he's growing on me a bit, and I love that they include the scene of him sliding on the ice with the boys.

This version seems to overexaggerate the horror and nightmare elements of the story. Not a huge fan of that, but it could be worse.

I adore how they capture Scrooge's joy in the Christmas Past scenes. I was disappointed we didn't get him going into raptures over his childhood reading, but I've liked everything else I've seen so far of that portion.

Seeing young Jim Carrey in Victorian garb as young Scrooge was...an odd experience.

This version's Belle absolutely blew me away. Every other version of her I've seen makes her just Scrooge's girlfriend. She's there to be a sweet and sentimental lost love. But this Belle is a mature, responsible woman, who knows her own mind and heart and can make good choices for her life. This is a woman who could have captured Scrooge's heart and would have made an excellent wife. Astounding performance on every level.

Want and Ignorance were the only parts of the Christmas Present scene I've caught so far. Loved that they were included, didn't like the expansion into much weirder nightmare imagery.

I'm obsessed with how Carrey keeps Scrooge's gremliny body language even after he reforms. So it plays as "Mwahaha, I've trapped you in my evil plan to...give your family a comfortable life!" Not how I would have envisioned his post-reform behavior, but a believable and very fun choice.

[thefirstknife]

Apparently there was a roundtable with a senior narrative head at bungie about destiny

where he stated "don't expect to be allies with the hive. or even Savathun"

which to me seems like a weird choice to say right after deeps ending?

That's interesting. Honestly, valid comment to me. Here's the link to the article itself! The dev that made the comments is Robert Brookes. One extra quote that isn't in the tweet (goes in between the two in the tweet):

“It’s gonna be really hard to walk that back from anyone’s perspective. Even if that ever became a possibility, there’s a lot of ground to cover to make amends for that.”

We often forget about that, because obviously everyone deserves a second chance, especially in a situation where the Hive were literally manipulated into becoming what they did, but at the end of the day, their gruesome conquests that wiped out thousands of civilisations is not something that everyone can or has to forgive.

People are really eager to forgive Savathun, completely, which was always weird to me in a fandom that has gone ballistic over infinitely smaller crimes. And I get it, Savathun is an incredibly compelling character, fantastically written, absolute banger of VA work. She's such a crucial element in the whole setting of Destiny and is fascinating to read about her. 100% one of the best characters in the entire franchise, intriguing and complex beyond pretty much anyone else.

But the characters within the story itself can't view her in this way or it would be immersion breaking. To them, Savathun isn't a character that's well written, she's a monster who is responsible for some of the most horrific things across time and space. I can definitely see any alliance with her to be temporary, out of necessity and not exactly on good terms. I would love for us to eventually get together with the Hive and join forces against those that are responsible for their course in life, but I think it's definitely something that, within the universe in-character, is not something entirely realistic and would be difficult to justify.

Definitely an odd thing to say now though. Maybe it's telling us to temper our expectations next season? We need Savathun's knowledge, but I don't see us being besties with her in any capacity. I'm not sure what people expect from a season where we rez Savathun; there's probably a lot of people who expect a Caiatl situation.

Realistically, it might be an uneasy cooperation that will be very limited and possibly exploited by Savathun to get out at the end. Right now she's dead and she can't do anything and for as long as we keep her, we're safe. But now that we need her... We have no choice. We have to get her out and once she's out, she will not be bound by anything to obey us. It's a very risky move, one that we're looking at out of desperation, and the risks were nicely laid out by Saladin, Saint and Zavala in their conversation. That bit is definitely priming us to expect some heavy resistance to help from Savathun from various characters and this comment might be as well.

I can't wait for the next season's story though! Savathun talking to us again, in any capacity, is something I've been waiting for eagerly since the end of WQ. I don't doubt for a second that the conversations she'll have will be full of some heavy stuff and that she will not play nice with us and that she (and Immaru) will make most of the situation where we're desperate for her help. She will probably also genuinely want to get her revenge to the Witness, but not necessarily as our sidekick. I think that continuing with the animosity between her and us adds an extra layer of depth to the whole story with her and the Hive.

[cutepresea]

So the collab does in fact involve a completely new Kanade, Hibiki, and Tsubasa from a parallel world where the technology behind Symphogears and Rider Gear both exist. Their stories are similar to their main counterparts, but slightly different for obvious reasons. The first half is up for now, but the second half should be up on a later date.

Two years ago, Kanade and Tsubasa were waiting for the Rider Gear but Orphe-Noise showed up. Tsubasa wanted to wait a bit longer, but Kanade used her Symphogear anyway, despite knowing she's at her limit using it.

After a fight, Kanade's Gear backfired and powered down, but Hibiki showed up delivering the Faiz Gear. Kanade failed to use it so she had to use her Symphogear again instead but then Hibiki ended up getting hit by an attack trying to get out of the way.

Tsubasa: Tachibana! Hang in there, Tachibana!

Kanade: So this is it, huh?

Tsubasa: ?! Kanade! What are you doing?! You can't be...

Kanade: ......Tsubasa, I've seen it. There's a flame inside you. It used to be so small, but now it burns intensely. So...don't give up on living!

Kanade used her Superb Song and died. Meanwhile Hibiki ended up with a shard of Gungnir embedded in her chest

In the present, Tsubasa is the leader of the Human Liberation Army. Other members are Ryoko, Yumi, Kuriyo, Shiori, Tomosato, Fujitaka, Ogawa and of course Hibiki fighting alongside them as Kaixa. Genjuro has been presumed dead after going missing while fighting Orphe-Noise and Tsubasa can't even use her Gear anymore due to all the times she's gotten hurt in fights as well as the trauma of seeing Kanade die right in front of her.

Everyone wonders why Hibiki can use the Kaixa Gear when Kanade failed to use the Faiz Gear, but not even Ryoko can figure it out, hypothesizing that maybe the powers of the relic in her chest and the Kaixa Gear are combining in some way.

Yumi starts talking about how on top of Faiz and Kaixa, Delta is also supposed to be a thing (and wishes she could be a Rider, so she can be like an anime protagonist. Kuriyo: "Isn't that less anime and more tokusatsu?" 😂)

Hibiki thinks it would be nice if there were three Riders, but for now she'll have to do the best she can, on Kanade's behalf. Tsubasa gets upset for a moment thinking she means she wants to replace Kanade, but Hibiki assures her she didn't mean it that way. Afterward they get an alert that there are Orphe-Noise so Hibiki leaves to fight.

Tsubasa (thinking): Tachibana...why was it you? Why were you the one who was left Kanade's power? .......Why wasn't it me instead?

After Hibiki takes out the Noise, everyone from the Liberation Army shows up to see her but then...

Genjuro shows up. Everyone is surprised because they thought he was dead. They're happy to see him but he says "You're the same as always...so stupid it's astonishing" and puts on the Delta Gear and...

He calls them stupid a bit more, telling them that "Kamen Riders aren't some saviors. Users of Rider Gears carry the power of the Orphnoch. An evolution of humanity which has transcended death..."

He starts fighting Hibiki, but she refuses to fight, and the others keep shouting at him "This isn't you! Come to your senses! Wake up!" Genjuro decides he doesn't need the Delta Gear to take her and hits her until she falls. Tsubasa decides she's seen enough.

Tsubasa: "Some evolution! You've completely lost your human heart, you've DEvolved!"

Genjuro: "Heh, should you really be the one saying that, considering you can't use a Symphogear anymore? Tsubasa Kazanari, wouldn't that make you the one who's devolved?"

Before leaving, Genjuro informs them that the Orphnoch King is none other than...Fudou Kazanari.

Later, Hibiki is asleep while the others discuss what just happened.

Ryoko tells them that while Orphe-Noise normally turn anything they touch to ash, there are some humans who have adapted to this power, die, and come back to life, now with the power of Orphe-Noise--"Orphnoch"

Ogawa and Fujitaka come back in with intel that the Orphnochs have an organization called Smart Brain, which was formed with the intention of wiping out humanity, and that their leader is, in fact, Fudou Kazanari as Genjuro claimed before.

Everyone has a hard time accepting this, since the Kazanaris are sentinels who protect mankind and yet here are a couple of them trying to destroy everyone.

Yumi tries to stay cheerful, saying that Kamen Rider will save them, but that's Kuriyo's breaking point. "Stop saying such careless nonsense! To hell with Kamen Rider! The Commander almost killed Bikki after he transformed!"

Then Shiori pipes in: "He said it himself, that Kamen Riders aren't saviors--that power of evolution is only allowed to Orphnochs. And if that's true, then Tachibana-san is also..."

...So Hibiki was awake and heard everything. She thinks they all think less of her now and runs off. Tsubasa gets mad at the others, "How much blood has Tachibana shed for us up until now?!" And they apologize. They never meant to point fingers at her, they're just anxious after what happened with Genjuro.

Afterward Tsubasa goes to the place where Kanade died, asking what she should do, the Liberation Army is falling apart and the burden of leadership is becoming too heavy for her. Hibiki comes up and says that she also comes to this place to talk to Kanade sometimes when things get tough.

Tsubasa tries to apologize to Hibiki for before, but she says it's not something she really has to apologize for. But she still apologizes and admits to Hibiki that she's been envious of her this whole time since she hasn't been able to fight, and on top of that her grandfather is the leader of their enemy. She feels completely worthless because of this.

To which Hibiki replies that she's also been troubled, that she's been suppressing her weakness this whole time, fighting desperately, but against the Commander, she couldn't even give it her all. She wondered if it would've been easier if she had just died together with Kanade that day, but then she remembered the words Kanade said back then.

Tsubasa: "Don't give up on living"

Hibiki: "Right, those words. And so I'll keep fighting without giving up. Even if I really am an Orphnoch, I'll still keep fighting for humanity, not giving up until the very end."

Before trying to leave Tsubasa says, "Tachibana, you're human. You're Kanade's successor...and you're our hero" and thanked her because talking helped her get over things a bit. Hibiki insists on going with her but Tsubasa refuses at first, telling her to go back to the others, but Hibiki goes "We're friends right?" "...Friends? Yes, that's right." "Then we should walk side by side, shouldn't we?"

So they leave together.

And then