#i've read novels shorter than this fic

[doobea]

I CAN MAKE YOUR BED ROCK - RIN ITOSHI

synopsis: You're a famous online smut author, married to an international superstar athlete, and everyone around you thinks you have the perfect sex life. What they don't realize is Rin sleeps in the guest room and you're still very much a virgin.

contents: fem!reader, explicit content (fingering, fondling, heavy petting, public indecency, and makeout sessions), suggestive themes, mainly written in rin's pov, characters are all in their mid/late-20s, his teammates are just trying to help (not really), romcom, he has a therapist!!, idk probably secondhand embarrassment, mutual pinning and they are both awk, mdni word count: 3K a/n: tbh i actually have no idea how to write smut scenes so apologies in advance ps due to popular demand... there IS a taglist below haha just comment on the fic if you want to be added to the next batch c:

二 : Baby, wanna spend it all on you -> prev. ->next.

When Rin thought about his life after college, he'd imagine things a certain way. He'd expected to move abroad, a new city, a new life. He'd expected to play alongside his older brother and for a football team of a different caliber, offering different techniques and skill levels that would promote a challenge to him.

What he didn’t expect was staying in Japan, getting married by the age of 24, playing alongside his teammates from the Blue Lock academy, and representing his nation in the upcoming world cup. It wasn't bad by his standards, just not ideal - more so over the team rather than the location and marriage, surprisingly. He's currently stuck with the same teammates that love to tease him endlessly. But a voice in his head tells him that they're probably the only people who could mesh well with his play style; so he tolerates them.

Here's what Rin Itoshi's teammates know about him: he's married to a famous author, he's fluent in English, he's the most Virgo man out there, he always keeps his phone on 'Do Not Disturb', and his favorite movie is The Shining.

And here's what they don't know about him: he's in an arranged marriage, he's madly in love with you so much to the point where he has all your favorite food orders listed in his notes app, he carries around a physical signed copy of one of your novels at all times (you have no clue and he's never going to tell you), and he's a virgin.

Shocker!

Not many people could crack Rin and not many try. The football player had a reputation for being anti-social, rude, and extremely blunt. But Isagi Yoichi is not like many people. Being one of his long-time teammates (friend - Isagi would like to correct him from time to time), he would always find a way to make Rin slip up more details about his 'top-secret' life. It wouldn't always work and often times the conversation will end with Rin kicking a ball to his head - ouch.

But today felt different, Rin had noticed the shorter male peering at him with mischief laced in his eyes when he had walked onto the training grounds early morning. Rin was prepared to kick the ball extra hard this time around.

"What genre does your wife usually write?" Isagi asks nonchalantly as he begins routine stretches on the turf.

"Why does that matter to you?" Rin bites back while doing his own sets of warm-ups next to him.

Isagi is unfazed and continues, "I've been trying to find something new to read nowadays. It's hard to find good books!"

Sarcasm, Rin notices.

"Even if you did read her books, I highly doubt you'd understand the words."

"Pfft, what does she write physics textbooks or something?"

Before Rin could even insult back, he hears a loud bang from the locker room and one of his teammates running out. Karasu jogs to the field and Rin feels all the color wash off his face. In Karasu's hands held the physical copy of your best-selling novel, 'Pleasure Master Prejudice', the book that Rin always carries in his sports bag.

Suddenly, Rin wants to take back all the harsh insults he's said to his team's face. He starts praying, half expecting the football player to run towards him with flowers instead of your dirtiest erotica story known to man, he will repent all of his sins in this moment.

"Yo," Karasu smirks and waves the book around for everyone else to see, "check out what I found on the locker room floor!"

Rin makes a mental note that he is definitely going to schedule an emergency call with his therapist later.

Otoya is first to make a beeline toward the taller player, immediately snatching the book from his hands and flipping through the pages. "Holy shit, this is nasty!"

"Wait let me see–"

Rin blinks in disbelief as he watches his team of fully grown men scramble to the center of the field, all of them attempting to read out loud the pages and giggling like little schoolgirls. At this point, Rin thinks that the higher beings are out to get him.

"Gross! Gross!" Ranze chokes at the print.

"Guys, what the fuck is a vulva?" Igarashi screeches.

"Read this one, Reo." Nagi eagerly points to a paragraph on the bookmarked page and everyone laughs.

Reo suppresses his laughter and clears his throat, "He spreads my dripping cunt wide with his slender digits, eyes keeping in lock with mine as he hovers over my voluptuous ti–"

"Can you guys fucking stop?!"

All turn to face their redden-faced striker, surprised by the volume coming from his usual monotone voice. Rin is also surprised himself. A pregnant silence falls over the team followed by the sounds of the book cover closing.

"Was that yours?" Isagi finally says.

He can't find the energy or space to punt a dozen footballs in everyone's face so today, safe to say, Rin leaves practice early.

"What brings you in today?" Anri adjusts her glasses and steadies her clipboard in her lap before looking into the camera. "It must've been pretty serious for you to call me last minute."

The football player sinks into the living room couch and tilts the laptop screen back to avoid looking at his agitated expression. He usually schedules weekly therapy sessions every Monday to decompress from his work stress and improve his social anxiety, but today is Friday and he needed Anri to hear him out. He's thankful that her schedule turned out to be flexible last minute and equally as glad that you were currently out drafting another story at a nearby cafe.

"I think I need to move out of the country or just disappear for good." He groans into his hands.

"Rin," She says with a controlled tone, "what triggered this event? Tell me how you're feeling right now."

He bites his lips, "My team knows that I read erotica." Rin shyly admits.

Anri hums on the screen, scribbling her thoughts down on the notepad, "And how does that make you feel?" She repeats.

Embarrassed? Ashamed? He didn't know where to start. He can handle the flack from his teammates tomorrow as cringe as it was today but the main reason why he feels the way he does is–

"It reminds me how I'm being physically avoidant in my marriage."

"Ah," Anri beams as if she's found gold, and Rin hears her flipping through her notepad, "are you two still talking? How long has it been since that incident?"

"A week. I'm still not sure what inclined her to go into my room since we usually keep things separate. We both chose to not talk about it and things have more or less gone back to normal."

"But is that what you want?"

"No," He removes his hands and glances at a framed wedding portrait above the fireplace, "but I'm not sure how to initiate anything with my wife. She doesn't know that I read her stories and I'm not sure if she picks up that I'm inexperienced."

"Do you think reading her published works will help you gain confidence in how you approach her?"

Rin hums in deep thought. He only started reading your novels and short stories around eight months back out of curiosity on a slow practice day. When you guys initially got together, he never really asked about your background due to his ignorance of 'she's probably just another YA novelist'. So, when he typed in your alias into the search bar, he was absolutely taken aback by how lewd and explicit everything was. He felt a sense of insecurity knowing that you've probably had most of these acts done to you (how else were you able to write a detailed bondage scenario) and he couldn't live up to that nor see your evident disappointment if you ever find out that you're his first everything.

"Not sure." Rin answers.

Anri flashes the male a pondering look in her eyes before deciding to leave the lingering topic for their Monday session. They briefly exchange their goodbyes, ending the call with her advice of 'trying to approach things in her shoes', Rin isn't exactly sure what Anri meant by that.

A light buzz comes from the coffee table and he sees your contact flash in his notifications. He sometimes feels like you're taunting him with your comedic timings.

my love hey babe if you're free later do you wanna come shopping with me?

It's already been one hell of a day, why not relax in some retail therapy with your wife? Maybe he can try to attempt whatever Anri was suggesting.

When you told him to meet you at the new corner store located next to a ceramics store, Rin was half expecting it to be another bookstore or beauty outlet. Never in a million years would he have predicted that you brought him to a sex shop of all places.

The boutique is painted in blotches of purple and black circles with two towering rose bushes on either side. Grey mannequins are on display by the arched windows facing the street and they are covered from head to toe in a series of lace, leather, and chain underwear sets. And he spots you, already inside the store staring intensely at your phone with your tote bag in hand before locking eyes and sending over a coy smile.

Rin has been in many unpredictable and hard situations, in football of course, but he couldn't see where this outcome might lead. He finds the strength to wave back after gawking for who knows how long, unaware of his sweat-covered palms, and steps inside a world he's alarmingly unaware of.

"Did you wait long?" He manages to remain composed and refuses to look anywhere else but your face.

"Nope," You reach out to interlock your fingers with his, "I just got here a minute ago. How was practice?"

Rin can't help but roll his eyes, "Wasn't the best, let's talk about something else?" And you nod. "Did you need anything from here, hon?"

"Ah, well..." You scratch your flushed cheeks in thought before nudging him towards the floral pattern-laced body suits in the corner. "I want to incorporate something similar in my writings but I want a personal opinion of them first."

Suddenly, Anri's words pop up in his mind again. How could he see himself in your shoes and what should his response be? Was this strictly for your work or is there a hidden meaning behind it, he thinks to himself. Before he could provide you an answer, a male sales associate interrupts.

"That's a wonderful choice, miss!" The blond male's voice booms through the store’s walls as he struts his way over, wearing a pair of obnoxiously shiny brown loafers, tight black leather pants a size too small, and a white collared shirt with the first two buttons popped open, exposing just a bit of chest hair, "Our Forget-Me-Not Floral collection is seasonal right now and it's been a fan favorite since release!"

“Oh!” Your eyes sparkle at the fact, “May I try a few on?”

Rin feels oddly annoyed, and it's a different type of annoyance compared to Isagi and the rest of his team. He subconsciously tightens the grip around your hand but doesn’t say anything.

The male nods vigorously and shuffles through the drawers, quickly selecting the most revealing ones that the collection has to offer. There was hardly any coverage other than thin white straps and embroidered flowers barely covering where the breasts and vagina would be. Why is this boutique charging so much for something that covers so little? But for some reason, you didn’t seem to mind and happily took the associate’s suggestions.

“Plenty of people like to get the nightgown version, but these are my personal favorites.”

“Thank you so much um—”

The male winks, “Chris Prince.”

And Rin thinks to himself, what an obnoxious name for an obnoxious guy.

You swiftly march yourself to the dressing room with the items in hand, assuring Rin that it’ll only be a short while, and he takes a seat on their small ottoman right outside. He feels Chris’ gaze burn at the back of his head but he pays no mind to it - Rin didn't want to cause headlines tomorrow on top of the series of unfortunate events for today. So, to busy himself, he pulls out his phone and texts you instead.

Rin "Everything alright?" my love "Yes! Getting it on is a bit challenging, trying to figure that out rn haha" Rin "I’m sure it’ll look fine regardless how you wear it" my love "Thanks, Rin :) "

Another notification comes through making Rin frown immediately as he recognizes the name of the sender.

shithead "We’re still cool?" Rin "Fuck off, Isagi." shithead "Lol glad to hear that. See you at practice tomorrow then?" Rin "Sleep with one eye open tonight."

“Hey, honey?” Your voice calls out in the distance, “Could you help me with something real quick?”

He isn't sure what's more revealing - the fact that you're practically almost naked with just lines of sheer fabric barely covering anything up or the face he's making right now. You seem to catch on to his discomfort and quickly hug the front part of your body with your shirt, mumbling an apology afterward. He rushes to close the dressing room curtains, hoping the weird sales associate isn't listening in.

"I can't get the neck part to look right..." You turn around slowly, exposing your bare back and bottom. He thinks you should've worn a hospital gown because this might be too much for his little innocent heart to handle.

Rin feels a lump forming in his throat and knots churning in his stomach while trying to take everything in. He couldn't help his wandering eyes and stood there for a bit, simply admiring what was in front of him. "You look amazing." And it comes out breathier than what he wanted it to.

This is the first time he's seen you almost naked and, the fact it's in a lingerie store, makes him feel terrible as a partner. This brings him back to Anri's wise words from today's session and the past eight months of solid 'research' he's conducted.

Your body flinches at the touch of his slender fingers reaching for the two strands dangling around your neck that were failing to support your breasts. You feel your face reaching concerning levels of warmth as Rin moves closer, his chest practically pressing up from behind, whispering that he needed to get this knot just right. Your eyes go wide when you peer into the mirror, catching Rin's sudden sharp expression and you could've sworn his eyes went dark.

"Is this okay?" His hands rest on your shoulders and looks into the reflection with you, appreciating the finalized look. You gently drop the t-shirt to the floor, mouth agape. The sheer, embroidered cups now fit your breasts perfectly and the bottoms are snug against your lower half but still breathable. The lace hugged and accentuated your curves just right without it being too over the top.

Suddenly, you feel painfully small in his presence.

"Y-Yeah, thanks."

Rin hums in contentment before placing shyly his hands on either side of your hips, "Is this also okay?" He drawls, breath hitting against your ears.

You merely nod in response, having a loss for words at the sudden boldness, and melt into your husband's touch. You screw your eyes shut as his hands sweep lower, fingertips brushing the fabric of the bodysuit and barely skimming your exposed thighs. He stops over where your lower region resides and presses gently against it.

"Rin," It comes out as a whisper.

He kisses your temple and smiles against your skin, "Try and be quiet, my love."

Rin's fingers continue to press against your mound with increasing intensity and you struggle to hold back any form of reaction. His other hand travels from your hips to your breast, giving it a small squeeze.

"They're so soft." He continues to grope, playing with your nipple through the lace fabric, and you feel as if your head is filled to the brim with static.

You find yourself grinding against his fingers, trembling and panting out the quietest of moans you can. "Please." It sounds ragged and raw to Rin's ears.

He tilts your head back by the jaw and sloppily pushes his tongue down your throat. Your desperate hands immediately reach for his hair and the other down to feel for his aching length growing against his pants.

"Grind against it." Rin grits through his teeth, fluttering his eyes shut as you did what he's told and he feels like his body is burning alive.

Rin ravages your lips once more and, feeling a surge of confidence, he slides the bottom of the bodysuit to one side, allowing his digits to fully feel the extent of his work. You moan loudly into his mouth, tears of pleasure forming at the corners of your eyes. He takes that as permission to enter into your folds and the texture and scent emitting from it is addicting to his senses.

"You're so wet."

"It's because of you."

His lips find their way to your shoulders and his hand on your chest grip tight against your now trembling figure as he rapidly pumps in and out of your folds. Your hands clamp over your mouth as a burning sensation tightly builds up.

"It's okay," He murmurs, "you don't have to hold back."

And just at the right angle, you watch as fireworks explode right in front of you. Your mind rewires itself slowly and suddenly everything is over-stimulating. Everything is either too bright or not bright enough. You've become hyperaware of the mesh material against your hot, sweaty skin and the sounds of poorly curated indie music that played in the background. You couldn't recognize yourself in the mirror.

Rin groans at your mess and slips out his fingers with a loud pop before setting your fatigued body against his.

"I think your readers will like it."

TAGLIST

@wtfsaekyuny , @jukey , @broeagleblog , @freakingdinonuggies , @damutaaa , @idk-bro-gay , @saharei , @yesurmajesty , @vvi-site , @saeswifeeee , @marilover69 , @izayumi-chan , @whostakara , @talleythesimp , @short-black-diamond

[wrishwrosh]

re: tags on labor in historical fiction post, would be very interested to hear what the four examples you mentioned are!!

ok u know what that tag WAS bait, thank you for taking it. technically speaking these aren't works dealing strictly with labor in historical fiction, they are my four treasured examples of BUREAUCRAT FICTION (so not NOT about labor in history?) i was gonna try to make this post pithy and short but then i remembered how extremely passionate i am about this microgenre i made up. so sorry.

bureaucrat fiction is not limited by genre or format but criteria for inclusion are as follows: long and detour-filled story about functionary on the outside of society finding unexpected success within a ponderously large and powerful System/exploring themes of class and physicality and work and autonomy and what it means to hold power over others beneath the heartless crushing wheels of empire/sad little man does paperwork. also typically long as hell. should include at least one scene where the protagonist is unironically applauded-perhaps for the first time in their life-for filling out a form really good. without further ado:

soldier's heart by alex51324. the bureaucracy: british army medical corps during wwi. the bureacrat: mean gay footman/new ramc recruit thomas barrow. YEAH it's a downton abbey fic YEAH it's a masterpiece. i've talked about it before at length, my love has not faded. the crowning moment of bureaucracy is a long interlude where thomas optimizes the hospital laundry (this actually happens twice or maybe three times)

hands of the emperor by victoria goddard. the bureaucracy: crumbling fantasy empire some time after magical apocalypse. the bureacrat: passionate late-career clerk from the hinterlands cliopher mdang. i reread this book every winter bc it is as a warm bath for my SAD-addled brain and every time i neglect all my responsibilities to read all nine billion pages in three days. it puts abt 93% of the worldbuilding momentum into elaborating all of the ministries and secretaries and audits necessary to run a global government and like 7% into the magic and stuff. there are also several charming companion novellas and an equally long sequel that dives more into the central relationship between cliopher and the emperor which i highly recommend if you like gentle old man yaoi and/or magic, but there's more bureaucracy in HOTE.

the cromwell trilogy by hilary mantel. the bureaucracy: court of henry viii. the bureaucrat: thomas cromwell, the real guy. curveball! it's critically acclaimed booker prize winning rpf novel wolf hall! mantel is really interested in particular ways of gaining and maintaining power in delicate and labyrinthine systems like the tudor court, specifically in strongmen who use both physical intimidation and metaphysical manipulation to succeed. under these conditions i do think my best friend long-dead historical personage thomas cromwell counts as Bureaucrat Fiction (as do danton and robespierre in a place of greater safety. bonus rec.)

going postal by terry pratchett. the bureaucracy: fantasy postal service of ankh-morpork. the bureaucrat: conman, scammer, and little freak moist von lipwig. this is definitely shorter and lighter than the other three entries on the list, sort of a screwball take on the bureaucrat. but the mail is such a classic bureaucracy thing? who doesn't love thinking about the mail? also contains a key genre element which is a fraught sexual tension with the person immediately above the protagonist in their hierarchy, who is also their god-king and boyfriend-dad. you can't tell me vetinari isn't torturing moist psychologically AND sexually.

anyway sorry about all this. if you've read any of these come talk to me about them. bureaucrat fiction recs welcomed with the openest possible arms.

[didhewinkback]

so I love your writing - so much - and I’m brand new to the Harry styles fandom (I’ve admired from afar for years)… could you recommend your favourite writers and fics?? I love your writing so I know that you have to have some good recommendations up your sleeve!!!

omg hiii welcome !! this is so nice and this is my favorite question ever im more than happy to rec bc i am a fic reading machine okay.

so i've listed my faves by my faves as well as their masterlists so you can check out their other works and in reading it back i realize instead of making you a quick easy go-to guide to my fave fics i've written you a novel with soooo many recs. god bless and godspeed and i hope you enjoy !!

(in no particular order)

tis the damn season by @harrytheehottie i love el's writing so so much so its tough to pick a fave bc spinning out is really such a close second but these two mean everything to me, i just love their dynamic and the strong characterizations and the drama !! here's her masterlist, you really cant go wrong here they're all fireeee

hazy by @oh-honey-styles i am a self proclaimed anne stan so picking a fave is super difficult but hazy just sneaks above the rest for me because i just love them and i loove how harry is written here check out her masterlist tho but they are all so so good anne's writing is everything

lighthouse by @for-fucks-sake-h okay my fave of anna's changes allll the time but i did rec jamaica me happy last time so lighthouse wins this round but also all of their one shots/ blurbs are so good too i think about la paloma and never coming back down all the time. check out her masterlist as well u are guaranteed to find ur own fave

the close quarters series by @andwhenshesays was everything to me in 2020 but also you have to read trick of the light & have ur life changed (i can't find kate's masterlist but all of their fics are top tier so go poke around there)

all things yet to come by @soysauceharry is one of my favorite fics i've ever read and i come back to it often, amina has such a way with language and love stories that make it such a delightful re-read, i find new favorite lines all the time. check out their masterlist bc you really cant go wrong there

a soft place to fall by @hslllot i love it so much and can't wait to read more of it. it is such a lovely world to dive into, a perfect escape and shan has a really lovely way with the characters. check out their masterlist bc its toooo too good

the last line by @harry-on-broadway okay im a big tying you to me girl but this new series by sarah was so good, really fun dynamic between penny and harry and lots of fun drama. a really fun read, check out their masterlist too everything is so good

cavalcami by @all-things-fic ohhh i just adore liz's writing it was actually impossible to just rec one, im really partial to the quarantine harry series as well. i just reallly love the relationship dynamics they explore so well, each fic is such a lovely journey and also hot as hell most of the time not gonna line. you can find their masterlist here

infatuation on a mutual level by @harrygoeswest i really loooved this one by katie its so lovely and sweet and fun, i read it in one sitting i was truly hooked, i can't find a way to link her other stories in one go but check them out they're all great!!!

cloudbusting by @starsstruck is one of my all all time faves, i re-read it often. its such a lovely story with really interesting characters and a really lovely love story that makes you want to scream in the best way possible. charlotte has a way of writing really palpable chemistry, i can't find a way to link a masterlist of hers but one of her shorter fics blue dream is one of my faves as well

if you're looking for something shorter and sweet that will make u sweat pls check out our queen of the blurbs @harrysblackcoat nikki alwaysssss brings the fire with her blurbs, which you can find all of them right here it is actually impossible for me to choose a fave but i think of this one often lhh 4ever

ugh a lot of my other faves have since deleted which i respect and understand and also i have just recommended you about 600,000 words to read so godspeed lmk what you think, also if you read any of their works be sure to shoot them a message it really means soooo so much when readers reach out to say what they've liked about the fics!!

[edsloveydove]

I Have Always Seen You

pairing: eddie munson x chubby female reader

summary: of course the boy i've known since 3rd grade, the one i've loved since 7th grade, would be the one to break my heart. i never thought he would be the one to fix it too...

warnings: bullying, fatphobia, use of the word pig towards reader once, falling off a bike, blood and cut knee from falling off said bike, self-doubt and sort of self-hate i guess, cursing, mentality that reader wouldn't be 'missed' (idk if thats a warning but just in case), no use of y/n, underage drinking, reader has an older brother for sake of the story (i gave him a really basic/common name), thoughts and flashbacks are in italics!! nickanames/pet names (shortcake, princess, honey, sweetheart), reader is at least a bit shorter than eddie, very poorly edited, talks of the demobats and upside down, again like very badly edited, lemme know if i missed anything, i'm sure i have!

word count: 9k+

notes: my first fic guys and it turned into this 9,000 word monster! wild! anyway, this might be trash i honestly don't know, i have no perception of it, pls let me know what you think!! also, this story is told in first person point of view so it uses 'i, me, myself' and all that, idk how i feel about it though tbh. uuuuh, enjoy!!

DON'T REPOST MY WRITING OR SHARE IT TO OTHER PLATFORMS (including mentioning it in tiktok comment sections and stuff like that pls) THIS IS MY WRITING, DON'T STEAL IT PLEASE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sweltering midwestern heat was hitting Hawkins, Indiana early this year. School had only been out for a few weeks and it was already hot enough to have the city pool passing the max capacity damn near every day. 

Luckily for me, I had been able to successfully avoid going every time my friends have asked me to join them. Until now. 

“C’mon, it’s gonna be so much fun! Steve’s parents are gone again, like usual, so it’ll just be us and a few other friends!” Robin tries to convince me through the phone.  

“Robin, I never believe ‘just us and a few friends’, because it is ne-”

“It’s never just a few friends, I know. But this time it really will be just a few people. Like, actually just a few people. After everything that happened during spring break and all that, Steve really just wants the main guys there. There’s not gonna be any crazy partying, we’re gonna swim and relax, that’s it.”

“I don’t know, I might be busy tomorrow,” I attempt an excuse. 

“Then we’ll move it to when you’re free. We really want you there, you haven’t gone to any of our movie nights or other hangouts yet,” Robin points out while saying my name softly. “Is it something else? Is there someone you don’t want there?” 

Robin isn’t entirely wrong, there is something else that’s keeping me from joining my friends. And technically it does have to do with someone, but not in the way she thinks. And that someone happens to be none other than the Eddie Munson. 

I’ve known Eddie for many years. My older brother was one of his best friends while growing up having met in elementary school. James was in the grade above Eddie, and the one to introduce him to D&D, eventually passing on the title of Hellfire Club President to him as well. I was always in the background, hoping my brother would let me learn how to play just so I could impress him and his friends. 

While they were occupying the basement, getting pizza and bottles of Coke every other Saturday for their stupid role-playing game, I was in my room reading trashy romance novels and out riding my bike to the library in hopes to seem cool when I came back late at night. 

By the time I got to high school, it was James’ second to last year before he went off to college in Chicago on his big-shot football scholarship he managed to snag before he was even a senior. And yes, James was a Hellfire nerd and a star-athlete, so no one messed with their little club while he was there. Eddie was in his sophomore year, already antsy to graduate and move on to greater things. 

I was just the outcast that didn’t even have a group. It didn’t matter that I was the captain of the football team’s little sister, I never made any friends because I never tried to. 

Needless to say, yeah, Eddie and I had some history and maybe things got brought up when Vecna was trying to take over the world that might have been better left untouched. And maybe the idea of seeing him again brings butterflies to my stomach while also making my gut sink. 

“No, it's not that. I just…I guess I just haven’t been feeling it since…since yanno,” I say, half heartedly. 

Robin voices her understanding and tells me to just call back when I make a decision on if I would go or not. I promise her I will and hang up the phone. It’s not like I didn’t want to see them, because truly I did but it also wasn’t a complete lie when I told her I hadn’t been feeling quite right since the Venca situation. 

It was a really traumatic and horrible experience for everyone involved, and really astonishing that everyone made it out alive. 

‘Maybe I should just go…but what if it’s horrible? I know none of my lovely friends would ever say anything to me about it, but I just can’t stand the thought of them seeing me in a swimsuit, especially Eddie.’ I shake my head at the thought. ‘What a stupid thing to think, god, we all nearly died and I’m worried about my stomach in a swimsuit, how shallow is that? I guess some things just never change, no matter the life threatening situation…’

I go about my nighttime routine, washing my face and making sure no lights have been left on around the house. I say goodnight to my mother and fall right asleep. Or, I try to at least. 

But my mind keeps me up for much longer than I would have hoped. 

‘It would be a good time, though. Have a couple of beers, spend the night in one of Steve’s nice guest bedrooms. I wouldn’t even have to swim, I could just say I’m on my period or something. Ugh, but Robin knows that I always swam even on my period when we were younger. I’ll just wear a suit under my clothes and pretend the water is too cold even though it’s the peak of summer? Yeah, that should work. I can’t imagine anyone will care that much anyway if I’m not in the pool with them. I really do miss my friends.’

~ 

The next morning I call Robin and tell her I’ll be there tonight. She squeals in delight and tells me how happy she’ll be to see me.

Now it was just time to pick out an outfit, should be simple enough, right? 

Well, after leaving it to the last second and now only having about 15 minutes to get to Steve’s when it’s already a five minute drive, having half of my closet strewn about my room doesn’t seem like a very good place to be at. 

I finally sigh and opt for a swim suit from the summer before that I never wore, a green one piece with a wrapped sort of style for the top portion, and black cut off shorts and an old t-shirt that fits comfortably loose over it. 

I grab my keys and kiss my mother on the forehead, reminding her I wouldn’t be back till the next morning. 

Several shouts of my name reach my ears once I reach Steve’s backyard, it does bring a small smile to my face knowing I’ve been missed just as much as I’ve missed them. 

“You’re actually here, I’m so happy to see you!” Nancy says pulling me in for a hug, Robin joining on top, squishing us all together. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry.” 

“No, you don’t have to be sorry, it’s been a really hard year,” Nancy says sincerely. 

Steve comes up for a hug next, squishing me for dear life, I could feel him about to try to lift me up and spin me around so I pull away rather abruptly. 

“Alright, alright, it’s nice to see you, too, Steve.”

He answers with a kiss to the cheek and makes me promise that I’ll come to the next hangout and every one after that. I see Jonathan and he waves with a small awkward smile. 

Finally my eyes meet Eddie’s. 

~

“James! James! C’mon, come outside and play with me!” It was nearing the end of summer before James would go back to school for his 8th grade year and I would be going into 6th grade. 

“Not right now, can’t you see that I’m busy? I’m too old to play outside anyway,” my brother rolls his eyes. 

I hop down the stairs so I can see the basement fully now. Spotting all of my brother's friends huddled around our dinky old card table while he has books and notepads sprawled on his end. 

“Well, can I at least play your game with you guys? I’m sure I can learn it fast!” I beam, faking confidence in hopes to sway them. 

“No offense, shortcake, but it’s probably too confusing for you. Besides, we’re right in the middle of a campaign, it would be too hard to add in another character out of the blue right now,” Eddie says with a chuckle, like the idea that I could play is too amusing to even consider. 

Naturally, I take full offense. 

“Fine! You’re all so annoying, I didn’t even want to play with you anyway. Especially not with someone who has a buzzcut!” I stick my tongue out at them and run away, but not before I can hear them laughing. 

Sitting alone in my room I know it was childish of me, especially for my age. James was probably right, he was too old to be outside playing tag with his sister. I was too old to be throwing a tantrum like this over some friends wanting to spend time with each other without one’s little sister hanging around. 

~

“Hey, Munson.” 

Eddie nods his head in greeting and goes back to talking with Jonathan. Well, that’s honestly about as much interaction as I expected to get from him tonight. 

“Alright, let’s get this party started!” Robin exclaims, dragging you toward the cooler filled with ice and drinks, I grab a Sprite to start with. 

2 hours later and my Sprite is still mostly untouched and it’s now gone lukewarm. The others are in the pool splashing and playing chicken, I sit on the side with my feet dangling into the shallow end, watching as they fool around and laugh. Giggles and quiet laughs leave my lips on occasion with them. 

“You should get in, the water’s really nice!” Nancy says. 

“Yeah! Strip for us and get in here,” Robin adds, making everyone laugh. 

“You guys just want to get me out of my clothes, don’t you?” I play it off, shaking my head slightly. Giggles erupt again. I excuse myself to the bathroom after pulling my legs out of the pool. 

Closing and locking the door behind me I look at myself in the mirror.

‘I should just get in the pool, shouldn’t I? I do feel like I’m missing out on what could be a lot of fun. And it wouldn’t hurt to wash all this sweat off of me. I could just keep my shirt on, I have an extra change of clothes as backup anyway.’ 

I finish my business and leave the bathroom. 

After turning the corner to go back to the pool I run straight into something firm, nearly being toppled over before hands are at my forearms to keep me from doing so. Seeing dark curls fanning across this “something’s” shoulders and several patches of dark ink on its bare skin, I immediately know I have just run head first into Eddie. Great. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” I murmur, keeping my eyes pointed down. 

“It’s alright, shortcake. No harm done right?” he says, adjusting his head to try to catch my eyes. 

I nod my head and pull away from his hands that still rest gently on my arms. 

“Hey, hey, what’s up? You’re so quiet tonight, is everything okay?” 

I nod again and pull away harder, rushing out the door to get back to the pool, ignoring his call of my name and a request to “just hold on a second.” 

Pulling my shorts off quickly, I step up to the pool and begin to wade into the water before Robin stops me. 

“Your shirt! You don’t want the chlorine to ruin it!” 

My heart thumps, thinking of how I can handle this. My mouth opens to say something but before I can, Robin cuts me off. 

“Just take it off, no one’s gonna make fun of you for being in your swimsuit and if they do I’ll beat them up for you and then we’ll all collectively agree to throw them out of the group. And don’t try to tell me that’s not what it is, I can see it all over your face. You’re allowed to have fun and go swimming, I don’t like to see you excluding yourself, no matter the reason,” she says. 

Of course she would see right through any lie I could throw her way. That’s just how Robin is. No matter how clumsy she can be, she really is observant. Not only that, but she’s right. Nobody cares and if they do, that’s their problem. 

I rip off my shirt and dive into the pool trying to minimize the time in which people could see me without it. Immediately finding Steve’s legs I yank his ankles so he falls backwards into the water with an unnecessarily loud screech. 

It makes the rest of us laugh loudly until Steve comes back up for air with a thirst for vengeance. He chases me around the pool, not for long considering he’s such a strong swimmer and I’m really not trying very hard to get away from him, and catches me easily. His arms wrap around my waist and I cringe as his hands nudge my stomach, scolding myself for the action right after. Steve doesn’t care about my stomach, if he did, he wouldn’t be my friend. 

“That really wasn’t very nice,” Steve says and starts lifting me out of the water. 

“Steve, hey. Steve! Steve, no, I’m too heavy! Stevie, no! Bad Stevie! Bad!”

I’m thrown in the air as far as he can get me and I splash back down. 

I come up spluttering for breath, “Oh, you are so dead, Harrington!” 

All at once the rest of us are splashing and dunking him over and over, until he pleads mercy. Shrieks and squeals of glee and what might be considered laughter fill the air as everyone gets their turn being thrown into the water. 

Eddie comes back out from the house and cannonballs in the middle of our ‘hate on Steve’ fest. 

Eventually I end up back on the side of the pool in my shirt with just my feet in, this time so I can enjoy a fresh soda and mellow out a little, not to make myself smaller. Nancy and Jonathan have called it a night already, leaving Steve, Eddie, and Robin in or by the pool with me. 

“I never noticed this scar? Where did you get it?” Robin points to my knee. 

~ 

The nice old librarian put a hand on my shoulder gently to get my attention, telling me the library would be closing soon and it was best I head home, I hadn’t realized how late it already was. I pack everything together as fast as I can, quickly saying goodnight and unlocking my bike, trying my hardest to race home before the sun sets. 

The wheels of my rickety bicycle pump faster and faster and in my haste I bump over a high curb without realizing, flying off and onto the pavement. 

Tears spring to my eyes as air is sucked in through my teeth. I take a look at my knee and see a small dribble of blood seeping down it, my hands have little scrapes all over, spotted with little beads of red. 

Not the worst I could have gotten from a bike incident, but bad enough to keep me from being able to ride the rest of the way home. It’s not far, but so much for getting back before the street lights turn on. 

About 15 minutes later I make it into our backyard, dropping the two wheeled contraption from hell into the grass and stumbling through the door, all while sniffling back sobs. 

“Oh hey, shortcake! James was starting to get worried about you, you really shouldn’t walk alone at night yanno? Next time ju-” Eddie cuts himself off after seeing the state I’m in. Of course he had to be the one to see me like this. Anyone else could have been sent on snack duty tonight, but it just had to be him. 

“Oh my god, what happened?” He walks up to me. 

I shrug my shoulders and look away. I catch a glimpse of how bad my knees and hands have gotten on the walk home. Blood drips down both knees, my left knee looking significantly worse than the right. Dirt and pebbles cover my palms along with streaks of crimson. 

“Don’t do that, sweetheart. Tell me what happened? Please?” 

I still don’t say anything, fresh, hot tears welling up and already spilling out. I refuse to let stupid Eddie Munson see me like this, all it would be is more leverage to make fun of me with. 

He pulls my hand gently until I’m sitting down. Eddie appears in front of me with a first aid kit a few seconds later, carefully cleaning the gashes on my knees and scrapes on my hands with alcohol wipes. 

“Did,” he lets out a shuddering breath, “Did someone hurt you?” 

“No, god no Eddie, I just-, god this is so embarrassing, I just fell off of my bike is all,” I mutter, not really wanting him to hear the words as they come out. 

“S’ not embarrassing, stuff like that happens. I just wish you would have told me, here I was thinking the boys and I were going to have to band together to cause hell for our favorite little goblin,” he says. 

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, you guys wouldn’t really do that, I guess James might. Most of you guys don’t even really like me that much anyway, you don’t have to lie,” I whisper.

“That’s not true! Of course we would stick up for you!” he says like he’s shocked that I would think the opposite. 

I just shrug my shoulders again and wipe my eyes, still avoiding looking him in the face. 

“Here, let me help you up to your room. That can’t feel good to walk on,” he pulls me up from the chair and goes to lift me into his arms. I jump out of his reach before he can. 

“It’s okay, I got it. Just- you better get back downstairs before they start worrying. I’ll take care of myself.” 

“What? No, you’re basically limping just standing here, shortcake, let me carry you, it’ll only take a minute?” He phrases it like a question. Asking but also sort of demanding. 

The idea is actually really nice, and I want to say yes to it. It would be like when the prince finally gets the princess in all those books I’ve read. Eddie could sweep me off of my feet and whisk me away. 

But I know better, I know that he wouldn’t be able to lift me. Even if he could he wouldn’t so much as glance at me, again, I’m just his friend's little sister. Here only because this is where she lives. 

“No thank you, I’m okay. Go ahead and go back to your game, I’m sure they miss you already. Nobody would even notice if I were gone, but they’ll practically riot without you,” I try to cover how deeply I believe those words with a laugh as I wobble away and halfway up the stairs before he can stop me. 

~

“Um, I guess I don’t really remember. It’s probably just one of those super old scars you forget are even there,” I say, even though I recall the night I got it vividly. 

Eddie’s eyes meet mine from the other side of the pool and they look almost…hurt at the possibility that I might not remember that day. Well, he didn’t get to feel hurt about it. He made it clear that he doesn’t care how I feel when we were in the upside down. 

“Hmmm, yeah, I have, like, tons of those actually,” Robin says, “This one is from my cat, Steven, and this one-” 

“You have a cat named Steven?” I cut her off. She gives me a look that says ‘duh’. 

“But what about Steve? Like human Steve? Was this before or after you became friends? And how has this never come up before?” I practically shriek. 

“Believe me, it has come up before. And yes, before she tells you otherwise, it was after we became friends,” Steve says, settling down beside me while throwing his arm around my shoulders. 

“That is not true! I found him outside the mall before we became friends! We may have been working together at that point, but we were not friends yet!” Robin shouts. 

“We were friends, she’s just embarrassed that she named her cat after me,” Steve whispers in my ear, making me giggle like a schoolgirl. 

Even though I’ve never seen Steve romantically, he still had the ability to reduce me to feet kicking and hair twirling. 

“What’s wrong with you, Munson?” Steve asks, noticing the scowl covering his face that usually carries a bright smile. 

Eddie shakes his head, “Nothing man, just thinking about how I don’t have a beer in my hand right now.” 

~ 

A call of my name breaks my gaze away from the mirror. 

“You almost ready? It’s time to go!” James yells, entering my room. “Hey! You look great! It almost feels like I’m sending you off to prom already,” he says wiping fake tears from his cheeks. 

I shove him in the chest and readjust my hair and the straps to my dress for what feels like the millionth time. It was a rather simple looking thing considering I had to sew it myself since the only dresses even near my size were too far out of theme for the 8th grade Winter Snowball or they were simply just ugly. 

Light blue and white fabric lays delicately across my shoulders and down to my knees, matched with white slip on shoes and silver snowflake jewelry. 

“You look really nice, seriously. I know how nervous you are, but it’s gonna be okay, I promise,” my brother assures me, slapping my shoulder much harder than necessary to push me towards the door, “Now it’s time to get your butt moving, let’s go!” 

When we arrive at the dance I immediately catch eyes with Robin and speed walk to her. James goes wherever he's needed for volunteering. 

After about 45 minutes the first slow song of the night comes on as I sit contently by myself at the far end of the bleachers. I wasn’t sad to not be dancing with anyone, I was honestly sort of relieved that I hadn’t had to dance all night. But watching all the couples on the dance floor does make my heart ache just a little. 

“I haven’t seen you dance all night, what’s that about?” 

“Why are you here?” 

“Ouch, shortcake, I don’t even get a hello? And what, I can’t come volunteer with your brother?” Eddie says, fake hurt painting his face. 

“It just doesn’t seem like you, I guess.” 

He sits down next to me leaving at least enough room for another person to sit between us. He hands me an unopened juice box. 

“Seriously though, why aren’t you out there? You don’t have someone you wanna get cozied up with on the dancefloor?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me in his typical annoying Eddie way. 

I roll my eyes, as my stomach twists with shame. He’s mocking me, isn’t he? 

“Nope. I’m okay with it though. Honestly I was perfectly happy just sitting here. Until you showed up that is,” I say with a shrug. 

“Oh really? Well, gosh, who made you such a sour fart?” he laughs as I push him in the arm. 

“Alright, c’mon then. Pity party is over, let's go do this,” Eddie holds out his hand and raises a brow when all I do is look at it confused. “Let’s go dance, shortcake, you should at least once before it’s over.” 

“Um- I-” I’m at a loss for words. There’s no way he’s being anything but friendly but my stupid heart skips too many beats to count. 

“Here, I need to go check on James and see how the other volunteers are doing. While I take care of that, I want you to sit here and decide if you want to dance with me or not. Of course, I won’t make you do anything you don’t wanna, but if you’re up for it, I’m here,” he says, bouncing back to the drinks and snacks table. I smile giddily at his back and stay sitting. 

By the time the last song of the night played I was still in the exact same spot I had been for nearly 2 hours, waiting for Eddie to come back. 

Immediately after he left, I knew I wanted to dance with him. Of course I would. I’ve known him since I was in 4th grade and have had a crush on him for a year now. All I had to do was wait a few minutes and I would get to live out a fairytale dream. Dancing across the room in a flowey dress with the guy I liked. Of course it would be strictly platonic on his end but it could mean something more to me silently. 

So there I sat, with my empty juice box, tapping my foot in excitement. The first slow song ended and there was no sign of Eddie, but I was sure he just caught up with volunteer work. After the next 3 songs played I began to doubt myself slightly. 

‘Maybe he hadn’t actually wanted to dance like it had seemed. But he looked really sincere when asking me. Yeah. And even if Eddie is just a regular teenage boy, and he can definitely be a jerk sometimes, he’s much sweeter and kinder than most. He wouldn’t leave me hanging like that. He’ll be back any minute now, I’m sure.’ 

By the time 11 more songs had played, I knew he wasn’t coming back. Tears were smearing my mascara while I sat as still as possible on the bleachers, not wanting to draw any attention to myself.  

Of course he wasn’t being serious. He just wanted to tease me like usual, the only difference was this time it went too far. This time he was cruel about it. He could have just told me he didn’t mean it. Instead he strung me along and had me sitting here like a lovesick puppy for an hour straight. 

Who was I kidding? Eddie couldn’t be interested in me. He was my brother's best friend and had seen me grow up. I was just his friend’s chubby little sister. Wearing a dress that doesn’t sparkle and shine like all the others’, sitting alone and pouting like a baby. 

He probably thought I would crush his feet if I accidentally stepped on them. 

After persevering through another hour of horror, James finds me in my corner ready to head home. 

“All ready to go?” he asks jovially like he always seems to be. 

“Yes.” 

James picks up on my mood right away, but I’m already halfway to the car before he can say anything. 

“Okay, uh, I gotta clean up some stuff still but here,” he throws me his car keys when I turn back around, “Go get the car started yeah?” 

I nod and head out to the car when I see Eddie jogging up to the doors after me. My steps speed up hoping for all hell to avoid him. He calls my name but I don’t look back or slow down, in fact, the only thing it succeeds in doing is making me walk faster. 

My hands shake as I try to slip the key into the driver’s side door handle. Warm hands settle on my wrists. 

“Holy shit, I am so sorry, shortcake. I was so excited to dance with you, I really was, I just got caught up in helping another volunteer with something and lost track of time. I didn’t mean to forget you there all alone, I swear on everything. I know how excited you were for tonight and I am so sorry. I didn’t realize how long I had been gone until everyone started leaving and then I saw you get up and realized what I’d done, please forgive me,” he rambles off almost too quickly to understand. 

I expect tears but all I get is a deep rooted feeling of shame and anger. Ashamed by the fact that I thought he would come back and angry at myself for sitting there hopelessly when I could’ve danced with Robin at least. 

“Please, look at me. Please tell me you at least got to dance with someone else, right? You had a good time? Please tell me you at least had fun,” he pleads. 

A scoff escapes me as I whirl on him. 

“No, I didn’t dance with someone else, I sat there and I waited for you. I waited for you the whole time, and I guess that was my first mistake wasn’t it, huh? I believed you. I really thought you meant what you said to me.” 

I rip my arms out of hold. 

“You know what’s funny, too? I was actually having a really good time before you showed up. I told you as much earlier, even. I was perfectly happy to sit by myself, considering that’s how I spend most of my time anyway. I was really enjoying just watching the lights and the twirl of dresses, alone. I was overjoyed to just sit and watch Robin dance with her friends. And you had to come and- and lie to me! You made me feel special for fuck’s sake.” 

His eyes flash with guilt and he must have finally realized how much he hurt me. 

“I get that I’m not the prettiest and skinniest girl and I know that most of those kids don’t even know my name, but you do! You know me. You know me and you still forgot about me,” I pause and take a deep breath, “Do you remember what I said that night when I fell off my bike?” 

Eddie shakes his head.

“Nobody would even notice if I were gone. Nobody, not even you, I guess. You forgot about me not even 5 minutes after making me feel like the most special girl in that whole damn room. And that was really mean, Eddie. I hope you, at least, have a good rest of your night,” I step into the car and start the engine.

~ 

Steve plops down next to me holding 4 cans of beer, one for each of us. 

“I’m really happy I came tonight, thank you, for inviting me and not forgetting about me after I kinda disappeared,” I say quietly. 

Steve pats my back while Robin says something along the lines of ‘duh, of course we would never forget about you.’ 

Eddie stays silent, watching me closely. 

I put my drink on the ground beside me and lay on my back, pulling my shirt down to make sure it covers me still. I start to count the stars, just to keep my brain occupied. My eyes drift shut, my mind choosing to visit yet another memory tonight.  

~ 

It was James’ graduation party. All we had were a couple tables set up with snacks in the backyard and a bonfire, nothing too fancy. I made a simple ‘Happy Graduation!’ banner to hang across the gate for everyone to see, too. 

I’m wearing a plain white sundress and converse, I knew I would be running back and forth from the backyard and the kitchen too much for heels to be sensible. Making sure there’s enough drinks and food and ice for everyone was my job tonight. The sun is still up, melting the ice and warming every drink out here. 

James calls my name softly, “You can quit running around and tending to every little need. Come hang out with everyone for a little bit. Please?” 

I set down the metal tub where drinks are kept and walk over to sit around the fire with him and his usual friends. New faces have popped up over the years, but many stayed the same. Danny Williams, a junior who may or may not have been my first kiss when we happened to both show up at the same party and ended up playing spin the bottle together, Jason Carver, a freshman who appeared promising on the football team before switching to basketball instead, Michael Brown, a senior who’s been in the little Hellfire Group since the beginning. There are several others I don’t recognize and even more that I do. 

Of course, Eddie is there too. I just haven’t really…acknowledged him in…in a really long time. 

I haven’t necessarily been giving him the silent treatment, but I stopped entertaining the conversations he always seemed to start with me. 

Danny greets me with a smile as he sits down next to me. He even pulls his lawn chair a little closer towards mine, grinning slightly while doing so. 

“What can I do for you Danny?” I say. 

“Oh nothing. I just wanted to come sit by you, is all.” Huh. That…that sort of stumps me. 

I didn’t think Danny would even recognize me at the party, and I’m honestly even more surprised that he wanted to talk to me after kissing me. We make small conversation, butting into the rest of the group's discussion once in a while to add an opinion. 

Night had fallen and marshmallows and graham crackers were brought out for s'mores, as well as a couple of 12 packs of beer that someone had brought with them. 

I knew James had gone to several parties to celebrate winning a football game where there had been alcohol, or even just little get-togethers where it was provided. I guess now that it was only soon-to-be seniors and high school graduates, minus myself, left at the party it was time for that portion of the night to begin. 

I stand up to go in and let the others have their fun. 

“Where’re you going?” Danny asks, grabbing my hand lightly, looking up with wide puppy dog eyes. His eyes are a pretty green color. Brown eyes have always been my favorite, though. 

“Oh, I was just going to head in and call it a night. That way you all could have your fun without worrying about me dragging you down.” 

My comment makes his brows furrow, his mouth opens to say something, but he’s cut off. 

“You can stay out here, you know. No one minds having you here and I’m sure dear old James doesn’t care if you partake in a little drink, do you?” Eddie states. When did he get so close to us? 

“Even if I did care she gets to do what she wants, man. As long as you're safe about it, go for it,” James says, patting my back and taking one for himself. 

I’ve never drank before, but what the hell? James was leaving in just a few weeks now and this might be my only chance to try it. It’s certainly one of my last chances to hang out with everyone like this, at least for a while. 

After just 2 cans my tongue had already loosened significantly. Danny and I had been talking and giggling the whole time until he had gotten up to go home since his designated driver was ready to leave. 

“So, you and Danny seem pretty close suddenly?” Eddie phrases it like a question, wanting more information on the subject. 

Usually I would just hum in what could be taken as agreement or disinterest but my mind was running a little slower than normal. 

“Yeah, he and I kinda ran into each other at a party that I kinda crashed with Robin and we ended up, like, kissing and stuff,” I giggled. “But shhhh, don’t tell anyone else.”  

Eddie’s eyes widened, but that could have been a trick of the light. 

“What, uh, what do you mean by ‘and stuff’?” 

“Oh nothing. We just had one teensy tiny kiss because we were playing spin the bottle,” I say, not really thinking about it. 

Now I really know my brain is playing tricks on me because for a second I think Eddie looks pleased with this new knowledge that it didn’t really mean anything. 

“I feel like we haven’t really talked in a long time. What’s, uh, what’s been up, lately?” 

The question itself is awkward, but the way he struggled through it made it even more awkward. 

“I’ve been regular old me, Eddie. Nothing new or exciting. Although I did finish a book last night that really threw me through a loop. Oh! Actually there is something exciting! Do you wanna hear it?” 

He smiles, “Of course I do, shortcake.” 

“Well,” I take another sip of what is now my third beer, “William Gillar and Stacy Johnson have finally graduated!” I let out a squeal. 

Eddie just looks at me confused. 

“Do you have any idea what this means, Eds? I am finally free of those two asshats for the rest of my high school experience! Isn’t that amazing! I mean, it was easier to ignore this year than last year, but god I am so thrilled! No more mean notes from them calling me a pig in my locker and book bag, I can even finally find a table to sit at for lunch instead of hiding in Mr. Steerwell’s class,” I sigh happily. 

“Do you wanna know what else they did? This is so silly! They used to catch me on my walk home from school and steal my library books. How stupid is that? Why would you steal someone’s library books, right? They would run around with it so I would chase after them and then laugh at how my body would jiggle. How funny, right? I am so happy they’re gone, Eds, you have no idea.” 

Eddie has his mouth halfway open, anger flaring in his eyes. But that couldn’t be right, why would he care about a couple of high school bullies. 

“No, that’s not funny or silly. That’s been going on this whole time? And you didn’t tell anyone? God, why wouldn’t you tell someone, sweetheart? That’s horrible,” he says. 

“Meh, it’s just normal high school bully stuff.” I wave my hand in dismissal. 

“No, it’s not. Bullying shouldn’t even be considered normal anyway, but what they did to you? That goes far beyond normal, shortcake. I wish you would have said something. You know James and I would’ve taken care of them for you, right?” 

“Well, it doesn’t really matter now, does it. It’s too late,” I dismiss him and his misplaced worry. Honestly, it was nothing I couldn’t handle. He must have sensed how much I didn’t want to talk about it anymore because he dropped it. 

The night moves quickly after that, people say their goodbyes as James takes over clean up duty, considering I can barely stand up without nearly falling asleep. 

“Eddie, will you take her in and make sure she gets into bed okay?” James asks. 

That’s how I find myself being semi-dragged up the stairs to my bedroom and thrown on the mattress like a sack of potatoes. I don’t think Eddie was half as rough as my brain made it seem, to be honest. 

“Eds?” I whisper looking down at Eddie who’s kneeling by feet, gently taking my shoes off. 

“Yeah?” 

A couple beats of silence pass where I try to figure out how to word what I’m thinking. 

“I forgive you.” His movements stop. “I hope you know that. It’s probably such a silly little thing to even remember but I forgive you for forgetting to dance with me. I probably would have forgotten me, too. And…and I am sorry. I really am, for pushing you away so hard after. It was really stupid of me and I wish I hadn’t. Robin is a good friend, but you’re kind of the closest thing I’ve ever had to a best friend, I think. And I threw that all away over hurt feelings. Puberty, am I right?” I giggle. 

“S’ not silly to remember that. And you weren’t being stupid, sweetheart. You were hurt, you were protecting yourself and I don’t blame you for that. I should never have even walked away from you that night, but I did. And I don’t deserve your forgiveness for it,” Eddie says. 

More words mumble out of his mouth but none of it registers. Soon the noise stops and I feel Eddie’s warm hands pull my shoes all the way off, pushing my legs onto the bed and turning me to lay comfortably on my stomach. 

He must remember that’s my favorite way to sleep. 

My mind must really hate me because I swear, right before I fall asleep, I feel lips pressing gently to my forehead while a guitar calloused hand pushes hair away from my eyes. 

Of course, that didn’t actually happen because that’s not something Eddie would do. Right? Yeah, he wouldn’t…

~ 

A timid shake to my shoulder pulls me from my dozing. 

“Hey, shortcake, it’s time for you to go in.” 

There’s only one person who’s ever called me by that nickname. 

“Hm, it’s been a while since you’ve called me that…Eds.” 

I don’t know what made me decide to use his nickname. It never seemed right to use it after we drifted so far apart when James left. 

Eddie helps pull me to my feet. 

‘Hmmm, he’s always been a lot stronger than he looks. I barely even lifted myself up for him.’ 

“Oh, now you wanna be all friendly again? Using a nickname and everything? What’s this all about, huh?” Eddie says, steadying me with his calloused hands when my legs wobble.   

My brows furrow, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Earlier, when we were in the house. You practically ran away from me. I mean, it’s just that we…we haven’t seen each other since we went into the upside down. I thought maybe,” he lets out a long breath. “Maybe things had changed or something, I guess. I was hoping we could talk about it after we all got out but you’ve been avoiding everyone.” 

“And why is that? Why do you think things would have changed Eddie?” 

~

“No! No, no, no! Edward Munson, if you cut that rope, so help me god!” 

“You know I always love when you use my full name.” 

And the bastard cuts the rope. 

The next thing I know, he’s out of the trailer doing something entirely too heroic and the exact amount of stupid he always is. 

Before I can think I shove Dustin out of the trailer, the one not in the upside down, and send him to go help Lucas. 

“No! We need to help him! Can’t you see that he needs help!” 

“I know Dustin, I know. That’s why I’m staying here. But I need you to go find Lucas and Erica and check on Max. There are others who still need our help, Henderson. Please, listen to me and go help them.” 

I turn back into the trailer before he can disagree again, locking the door to make sure he doesn’t follow. Without second guessing, I jump through the portal, landing somewhat safely on my side. 

I manage to find a bike and just a few minutes later I’m riding as fast as I can towards the bat tornado that Eddie stands in the middle of. 

“Eddie you dumb jerk, you better not be getting yourself killed!” I scream at the top of my lungs. His eyes catch mine as a look of horror crosses his face. 

“Why the hell did you follow me? I specifically told you not to!” 

“Yeah, well I specifically told you not to cut the rope!” 

We fight off the bats as best we can until they all suddenly drop to the ground. 

Eddie and I stand breathing hard, our brains trying to catch up with all of what just happened. Eddie turns to me, a grin beginning to form. 

I punch him as hard as I can in the chest. And then I do it again, and then again and again, until I’m pounding my fists against his chest over and over again. 

“What the hell?! Honey, stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself!” 

I choke on hiccupping sobs as hot tears overflow past my lashes. 

“Don’t you ever do something like that again! Ever!” 

Eddie grabs my wrists to keep me from hitting him anymore. I keep trying until I realize his hold on me is too strong. 

“Princess, you gotta stop. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore, please stop.” 

He wraps his arms around me, stroking the back of my hair, pressing soft kisses to my forehead. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay. We’re okay, I promise.” 

“That was not okay, Eddie. Not okay!” I tell him looking up into his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I really am. But look, we did it!” 

He looks down at me thoughtfully. His eyes flit down to my lips. My breath catches. 

He couldn’t possibly be… 

His lips are on mine. And Eddie Munson is kissing me. 

Both of his hands are on the side of my face, rubbing his thumbs softly across the apples of my chubby cheeks. 

I pull away, “What do you think you’re doing?” 

“Kissing my shortcake,” he says with a smirk while I grimace at the phrase. He laughs at the face I make and kisses me again. 

I kiss back harder this time, getting lost in all things Eddie. The way his hair feels soft even despite being so dirty. His lips are somehow minty. He smells like smoke and old books. 

My heart soars. This has to be proof, then. Eddie must think of me the way I think of him. I can’t imagine ever kissing someone with this much passion if it didn’t mean something more. I smile into the kiss.

Footsteps sound behind where we stand and Eddie pushes me off of him, placing several feet between us. I look at him confused and hurt by his sudden change in behavior. He refuses to meet my eyes. He even wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, looking straight ahead at Steve, Robin and Nancy appearing in front of us. 

Oh.

He’s too embarrassed to let his new friends see him with the big girl? Is that what it is? Does he suddenly regret kissing me? Was it just a heat of the moment type of deal, then? I was the closest human thing, so he settled on me for a little ‘yay the world didn’t end’ kiss?

In my whole life, I don’t think anything has hurt as much as that did. 

~

An uncomfortable amount of silence fills the air.. 

“Things got weird after James left, but you know that. We both felt it, even though we tried to ignore it. Jason started to act like he ran the damn school even though we were friends at one point. I never saw you because we were never at your house anymore. Then I got held back and we basically had every class together. Then I got held back again and you graduated. I missed you. I really, really missed you,” he says the last part quietly. Almost like he was afraid for me to hear it. I hold back a scoff.

“I missed you so much, it’s ridiculous. I just wanted my shortcake back. My sweetheart, my princess, my honey,” he laughs to himself, I stay quiet. “God, I was such a jerk to you growing up. And not because ‘I had a crush on you’ because that’s bullshit, guys shouldn’t be allowed to be mean to girls with the excuse of it being ‘romantic’. I wish I had treated you better, been a little friendlier. I never realized how much you meant to me until your brother’s graduation.” 

He takes his eyes away from his feet to glance at me. 

“Do you remember that night? It was your first time drinking and you got so sleepy I had to tuck you into bed. You had told me about you and Danny at that party and it made me jealous. I’d never really felt jealous before, certainly not like that at least. It made me realize how deep my feelings for you went.” 

I remain silent, partly because I didn’t want to interrupt him when this is the most honest and vulnerable he’s ever been, out of respect, and partly because I was utterly confused and angered by what he was saying and claiming.

“You forgave me for leaving you alone at the dance, even though I never deserved to be forgiven for that. I didn’t even know how badly you were being bullied at school until you told me, that’s not a person who deserves to be forgiven.” 

A soft laugh and a pause. “I guess what I’m saying is…is I wish things had, in fact, changed after Vecna. And I know, that’s probably not something you want to hear because I know it’s not the same for you but I figure if you’re not gonna talk to me anyway, I may as well tell you, right?” 

He takes a step towards the house but I don’t let him get far. 

“What do you mean it’s ‘not the same for me’?” 

“Well obviously you’ve been ignoring me since I kissed you so, clearly it wasn’t something you wanted.” He shrugs his shoulders. “And that’s okay. I’m not saying you have to be with me or anything, I’m just saying…I don’t know what I’m saying.” 

“I’ve been ignoring you?” I ask, dumbfounded by his idiocy. 

“Well, yeah. You haven’t even been answering the walkie.” 

“And you think that was because I didn’t want to kiss you? Not because, oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that the second Nance and the others showed up you shoved me away from you? It couldn’t have been because it was obvious you couldn’t stand the thought of being seen with me?” 

Eddie’s face drains of color. 

“I can’t help but see now that this is all you think I deserve. A quick kiss when no one can see, right? A little making out before someone can figure who you’re with, huh?” 

“No! That is not at all what that was! I can’t believe you would think that. I pushed you away so you wouldn’t be seen with me!” he shouts, cutting me off. 

“What?” 

“The whole town wanted me for murder! Murder! They thought I was running a cult that killed my friend as a sacrifice! My friend! I didn’t want you to be tied to that anymore than you already were, so I pushed you off before the others could see. If someone, somehow went yapping about a girlfriend of mine and things went sideways when we got out of the upside down, you might have gone down with me and I couldn’t let that happen. I just couldn’t. I was going to tell you all of this as soon as I could but you never let me get the chance, and I see why now. I am so sorry it looked like I was embarrassed to be with you, but that will never be the case with me.” 

He takes my face in his hands and looks me directly in the eyes. 

“You are single-handedly the most beautiful person I have ever met. Inside and out. You have always cared for me and the old Hellfire Club. Don’t think I didn’t know it was you sending cookies on our campaign nights, even after graduating. I remember when I showed up at your house looking for James because some older kids had taken my lunch money in middle school, little you went after them yourself and did one helluva job doing it. You sat me down and cleaned me up. Gave me peas to put on my forehead.”  

It was like a forgotten memory was just pulled up by his words, I did remember that. 

“I could never be embarrassed by you, ever. I don’t care what people think. I…I love you. And I love your hair, and I love your eyes, and I love your laugh, and I love your stomach and your thighs, and I love your mind. I love you and I hope you can see it. I hope…I hope you can see me,” he finishes off in a very quiet whisper, tilting his head down and away from my eyes. 

I place my hands over his that still hold my face. 

“I have always seen you, Eddie Munson. Always.” 

His head jolts up to look me in the eyes once more. 

“God, Eddie, I’m so sorry. I know you’re not a horrible person, I should have known, I’m so sorry. God, you were literally being hunted for murder and I was crying about you being embarrassed by me? I’m so fucking sorry.” 

I shake my head and take a deep breath. 

“I love you, I have for so long. I love the way you smile, I love the way you’re not afraid to take up space, I love the way you’re there for Dustin, the way you were there for me countless times. I love you and your horrible music.”

“Hey, now. Watch it.”

I laugh, “I love you and I see you and I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You’re forgiven, I promise. You didn’t even really need to apologize in the first place.” 

“Yes, I did. Because none of that was fair to you.” 

“And none of that was fair to you, shortcake. It’s okay.” 

I look at his lips, and that’s all the cue Eddie needs to kiss me. Finally. We put our hearts into it, getting lost in each other. Getting lost in our sudden understandings of the other.  

“We’re both really kinda stupid aren’t we? Stupid and oblivious,” I say, chuckling quietly. 

“Oh, definitely. I mean, we’ve known each other for, what, at least ten years and we couldn’t figure this out without a bunch of drama?” 

“It seems very on brand for you actually, you’ve always been one for the dramatics.” 

“I love you.” 

“And I love you.”

[cheesybadgers]

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 24)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23

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Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 3,440

Summary: It's been 15 years since Horacio and Javier brought down Gacha in Tolú, and now they're back where their story began.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Brief allusions to period-typical prejudices/politics/legislation, very brief sexual references, smoking, swearing, all the fluff.

Notes: Well....I feel like I should post this with a fanfare or something (just imagine there's one playing), but oh boy, oh man, oh god. I did it. I flipping did it 😭 It's only taken 36 months, copious amounts of blood, sweat and tears, a deranged amount of research, the last shred of my sanity, and probably a fair amount of back/neck pain from sitting at my laptop for too long to get here. But hey, if I don't write a self-indulgent novel-length fix-it fic for a criminally underrated rarepair from a defunct TV show, WHO WILL, I ASK THEE? 😂

I can't fully explain the journey this fic has taken me and my writing on, or the deep love I have in my heart for this ship and the OHDH universe that has lived constantly in my head these last few years. Even when I'm not actively writing, so many things remind me of these two everywhere I go. They got me through the darkest days of the pandemic and somehow became my comfort ship, despite er, certain canon events we don't talk about in this house.

Anyway, I think you've all heard quite enough from me for the time being. So, I will just say thank you so, so, so much to anyone who has read, commented, kudosed, reblogged, liked, sent me messages, made me things, suggested music recs, generally been incredibly supportive and kind ❤️

And thank you to anyone who may stumble across this fic in future. Please never be afraid to leave a comment, even if you're reading several years down the line, I will always love to hear from people about this story.

There will also be some moodboards and playlists posted on my Tumblr at some point (and *maybe* some new - much shorter lol - fics eventually) once I've caught my breath back a bit.

For the final time (unless I randomly think of anything I've forgotten, which is more than likely lol), I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested.

Chapter 24: Suerte (Epilogue)

Early evening rays painted the pastel horizon, their last act of the day transforming the shimmering ocean into an inky palate of fuchsia, violet and saffron, the golden sands at the shore still warm to the touch hours past dusk.

Come the weekend, Colombians would travel far and wide to descend on the many beaches, bars and restaurants that dotted the waterfront. Or if they were feeling adventurous, they would birdwatch, dive off the Islas de San Bernardo, or canoe amongst the mangroves.

But it was mid-week and mid-December – when most locals were at work and school or preparing for Christmas. So, for now, Horacio and Javier had the place to themselves.

There was the added bonus of the coastline turning into a dense forest of palm trees just along from their beach house, civilisation a mile or so away on either side of them, so even at peak times, they remained secluded. It had become a daily ritual to luxuriate in the peace and quiet; a pre-dinner swim with no trunks required followed by entwined limbs and sand in their hair as the sun went down.

Today was no exception, the gentle lapping of the waves around them and their shallow breaths the only sounds to be heard, the taste of salt and scent of sun lotion heavy in the air and on their skin as Horacio rocked into Javier, slow and deep, their chests and foreheads drawn together.

It was almost dark when Javier switched on the shower taps, cascading soothing jets over his head, neck and shoulders. As he soaked his hair, the lights from inside the beach house sprung to life, illuminating the outdoor bathroom with an ambient glow. It was a feature of the premium accommodation they had splashed out on, a rare treat away for a special occasion.

The outside space was a mix of wood, tiles and natural stone for the walls and floors, encased by tall plants and trees for extra privacy. A double shower stood on a platform at the end of a walkway, with a large hot tub branching off in the other direction. On their first night here, they had opted for the tub, surrounding it with candles as a belated ode to Día de las Velitas, lost in each other beneath the bubbles and the stars.

A sturdy embrace enveloped Javier from behind, a position they had found themselves in every morning by the shore before breakfast, looking out to a tranquil sea and a kaleidoscopic sky. The day jobs kept them both on their feet and in good shape, although there was more softness around their stomachs, and Javier was stockier than in his younger years. But his upper body was even broader with muscle now.

He was no gym fiend, but he had accompanied Horacio in some of his strengthening training, wanting to keep his stamina up as much as possible. Not just for the obvious but because he was sometimes required to carry the heavier supplies at work and didn’t want to be shown up in front of his largely youthful team.

It was a welcome development to Horacio, whatever the reason. Not that he ever had any complaints before, but watching Javier blossom as he aged was a wonder to behold. Not to mention, there was more of him to enjoy now.

As for Horacio, aside from the sloping curve of his midriff, he was sheer jaguar strength. Not only in the noticeable places, but his core muscles were in peak condition, the daily horse riding improving his posture and taking him back to the drill commands of his cadet years. His skin was more weathered, and his days of being meticulously cleanly shaven at all times were long gone. But Javier assured him – a lot – the ruggedness was part of the appeal.

Javier wasn’t one to talk either, stubble being a more regular feature alongside his moustache nowadays. But that was mainly due to lack of time in his busy schedule rather than preference, so it wasn’t unheard of for Horacio to do the honours for him. For some reason, Horacio delicately scraping a razor blade across his jaw from the comfort of his lap was far more appealing to Javier than doing it himself in front of the bathroom mirror.

Their hair contained more grey patches, especially around the temples, which was easier to hide when they grew it longer. That wasn’t practical during the sweltering heat of a Texan summer, so they kept it shorter in the hotter months. But in the winter, they could run their fingers through choppy waves and coils of curls to their hearts’ content. And luckily for them, their anniversary fell in December.

“Can you believe it’s been 15 years to the day?” Horacio asked, scattering kisses across Javier’s back.

“This doesn’t even feel like the same fucking place, to be honest.”

“Tell me about it.”

Horacio let out a huff as flashbacks of leading his men on a fleet of raiding crafts towards Gacha’s hideout collided with memories from merely days ago of him and Javier island hopping in a hire boat along the same waters. They had taken a platter of fresh seafood and fruit, exploring the remotest beaches and lagoons, where their only company was the local wildlife.

He could still remember the sensation of the blood at his temple as he lay disorientated on the sand in the aftermath of the explosion, a stark contrast to dozing together under the shade of a palm tree or reading aloud to each other the words of Lorca, Gaitán Durán, Arbeláez, Neruda, Paz, Castellanos and Mistral.

“Although, I did notice signs for the barracks towards Coveñas when we were driving here,” Horacio added with a nostalgic smirk.

“Oh yeah? You didn’t want another night there for old times’ sake?” Javier tilted his head until he found Horacio’s lips with his teeth.

Horacio hummed and put up no resistance, his wet hands sailing with ease down Javier’s body, finding purchase at his hip bones. “It was tempting. But I figured you’d want to make the most of this before Christmas.”

“Damn right.”

They took turns massaging shampoo into each other’s scalps, lathering the suds through thick spirals, tenderly pulling at strands until they purred, thoroughly indulging in the sensation whilst they had the chance. And then they did it all again, rinsing off the soap, floating away on the meditative pressure of the faucet and their fingers.

“We could always see if Alejandra has more spa freebies if it gets too much, though,” Javier suggested through the haze of steam now cocooning them.

“I like your thinking.”

It had been a while since they last used such tickets, their previous visits not dissimilar to how their current vacation was playing out. But despite the chaos that would no doubt ensue, they were looking forward to catching up with Horacio’s side of the family. Between expanding businesses in Texas and Manizales and the oldest half of the brood living and working elsewhere now with the twins staying at home studying, they didn’t get to meet up as much as they would have liked.

However, Elena visited Laredo several times, swapping life stories and recipes with Chucho and joining Horacio and Javier in San Antonio one spring for the Fiesta. Her last holiday outside of Colombia had been before Alejandra and Horacio were born, so she was determined to take advantage of having family abroad before age finally caught up with her. There had even been discussions of a trip to Madrid if Horacio and Javier could arrange cover at work the following year.

“Pops is flying out on the 20th, right?”

“Yes. Marco and Raúl are covering the ranch and animals until your father’s back on the 28th. And Jorge is covering the farm until we’re home from Miami in the New Year.”

No one was keen to leave Luna, Sol and Leo, who had long since retired from ranch duties, but between work and Christmas commitments, Connie taking a full-time job in a different hospital, now Olivia was a teenager going on 30, and the earlier-than-expected arrival of Felipe’s and Juana’s second child – Óscar, a little brother to Claudia – New Year was the only time everyone’s schedules matched up.

These days, Luna, whose main residence was the cottage now, Sol and Leo spent most of their time nestled on furniture or looking for treats in the kitchen whenever food was prepared. However, Luna would sometimes still ride in the back of Horacio’s truck and keep him company in the lower fields.

Kira and Fuego had become old pros, showing their younger siblings, Cielo and Tierra, the ropes, not as replacements to the trio but as a new team with their own quirks and personalities. Thankfully, the dogs and Coco had taken well to the pair of barn cats, Churro and Tamale, who patrolled the outbuildings and dealt with any rodent intruders.

Meanwhile, Chucho showed few signs of slowing down, except one summer when he twisted an ankle, and even that was hard work to get him to rest. But he had been happy to step back from some of his more physically demanding responsibilities in recent years, trusting that the ranch and farm were in capable hands. With their expansion plans a resounding success – plus some new ones up their sleeves – he had become more involved in the business side of the operation alongside Miguel.

And, of course, he was always happy to offer Horacio advice whenever needed. But for the most part, he left him to it since Félix’s retirement, preferring to arrange for the guesthouses to be refurbished or to deliver fresh batches of cooking to aid workers and exhausted arrivals alike on the frontline of the border.

“Bet Jorge was as thrilled about that arrangement as my team.”

“Well, we can always delegate to our deputies whenever necessary. One of the perks of being promoted.”

It had taken Horacio five years under Félix’s watchful eye – and decades of experience – to be granted the title of farm manager. Then, Félix had retired the previous year, satisfied he had picked the right man as his successor and Jorge as deputy.

Horacio still had plenty to learn and likely always would with the constant conveyor belt of change to farming methods and technology that landed on his desk each month. However, there was a sense of familiarity with certain parts of the job, like the meetings, the paperwork, and the budget constraints. Except, this time, it all came without the funerals, the upper echelons of the CNP breathing down his neck, and the crushing weight of a country’s future on his shoulders.

“And a holiday on the Caribbean coast was necessary, was it?” Now that Javier’s hair was free from sand and shampoo, he turned to face Horacio, their lips almost touching.

Horacio nodded sagely and closed the gap. “A critical business need.”

------------------------------------------------------

Once dried off, they lay in a hammock in matching white towel robes under the thatched porch of their beach house with a perfect view of the sea, moon and stars.

“So, you like it here?” Horacio asked after a comfortable silence.

“It’s beautiful. I’m glad we came back – to see it how it’s meant to be.”

“Me too. Although, I fear violence will always be a parasite latched onto Colombia. Just when you think it’s gone from one place, it rears its head again in another. Or even the same place twice if you’re unlucky.”

Horacio remembered the stories he had heard from Trujillo in the last couple of years – particularly about Operation Orion. Officially, the incursion on Comuna 13 had been a success by the Colombian military against the likes of FARC. Unofficially, however, there were rumours of a leaked CIA report, disappeared individuals, and collusion between an Army General and none other than Don Berna’s subordinate. It was hard to keep faith that Medellín would ever be free from its past when history had such a predictable habit of repeating itself.

“I know. It feels like one step forward and two steps back in the States, too. Terrorism might be the new bogeyman, but re-branding to ICE and throwing a shitload of money at the DHS hasn’t stopped the drugs and the people finding their way over the border.”

Javier had heard directly from Steve about the shift in his job role since 9/11. Overnight, Steve’s whole department was removed from their current caseloads and signed up for every counter-terrorism and narco-terrorism course under the sun. It was now customary for DEA agents to be redeployed to the FBI as intelligence analysts if resources required. And if their eyes and ears were pulled away from the drug traffickers, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the consequences.

Meanwhile, in Texas, if anything, people only took graver risks in the wake of a beefed-up Border Patrol. Javier had spent a lot of the past year helping to set up new aid teams in Arizona and New Mexico, the inhospitable conditions of the desert not enough of a deterrent to stop families trying their luck or handing over their life savings to coyotes who didn’t care whether they made it across alive.

“But small things can add up to change. Bit by bit,” Javier added. “And at least they can’t arrest us for fucking in our own home anymore.”

“True. Not that the law stopped us before...” Horacio nuzzled against Javier’s neck before making a move to get up.

They may have joked in the here and now, but it wasn’t a change they took for granted. In fact, Luz and Carla had even persuaded Javier to attend a protest or two and pay bond and legal fees for those who had been arrested. After all, he’d had plenty of experience exchanging money for people’s freedom.

When news of the Supreme Court decision spread, it was another weight off their backs and one less reason to look over their shoulders, a chance to permanently put to bed memories of being spied on during such unguarded sacred moments. It was the final line to be drawn under those dark years, not to erase them because that was impossible. But it was, at least, closure.

Their cigarette was almost done, and Horacio had left the opened pack on the kitchen counter. Once retrieved, he took out another and leaned into Javier across the hammock, pressing the tip of his unlit cigarette against the lit one until it sparked.

“But you’re right,” Horacio continued, holding Javier’s gaze between exhaling a plume of smoke. He balanced on the edge of the hammock, just enough to stop it tipping sideways. “Things can change. But only if we want them to.” He perched their new cigarette between his lips as he reached into the pocket of his robe.

Their first cigarette was little more than a stub, so Javier stooped down to the ashtray on the floor to extinguish it. Once he sat up again, a small cubed box was presented into his spare hand.

Javier stared at the black box and blew out remnants of smoke, eyeing Horacio with an unreadable expression, an unspoken question and answer lingering between them and the mist of tobacco.

He prised open the box to reveal a ring of plain silver. Or, so he thought at first glance. But as he raised it towards the moon, the iridescent light caught on the inner band to reveal an inscription.

Suerte que encontré a mi media naranja.

(Lucky that I found my soulmate.)

“Fuck, Horacio…” Javier’s voice was strained, and his words came out as little more than a whisper. He held the ring between his thumb and forefinger, letting the ethereal reflection from above capture each word.

Horacio watched every shift in Javier’s face with bated breath and a dry throat, his limbs lead and weightless all at once.

“The world’s changing around us,” Horacio said at last; swallowing his nerves and summoning his courage. “But no matter what the law or courts say in any state or country, this can mean whatever we want it to mean.”

Javier’s jaw worked back and forth, his teeth clamping down on the inside of his cheeks. But it was no use, and he let out a trembling scoff, an attempt to distract from the shining pupils he finally confronted Horacio with.

And then a broad smile crept across Javier’s features, his palm connecting with Horacio’s cheek before he plucked the cigarette from his fingers and took a drag. “Pass me my jeans.”

It took Horacio a moment to process Javier’s request. Of all the responses he had prepared for – the good and the bad – that hadn’t been on his list, funnily enough. With narrowed eyes and pursed lips, he complied and fetched the jeans that had been flung over a sun lounger when they stripped off to swim earlier. Apparently, regardless of how humid the climate in Tolú became, denim remained a reliable staple of Javier’s wardrobe.

“Check my left pocket.”

Whatever Javier was up to, Horacio was torn between intrigue and irritation at Javier’s temerity to issue orders despite leaving him hanging. But he did as he was told, and in an instant, everything made sense.

“I can always take it back if you’d prefer…”

But Horacio was already opening the near-identical box, and any teasing faded to white noise as he came face-to-face with the gold equivalent of his own proposal.

“Hold it up to the light.”

The night sky was brighter now, making it easier for the inscription to be revealed.

Mi amor, mi vida, mi hogar, mi vaquero. Siempre tuyo.

(My love, my life, my home, my cowboy. Yours always.)

It was Javier’s turn to observe, and it didn’t take long for Horacio to raise a brow in his direction, shooting him a look of feigned exasperation that only came with the territory of a relationship as enduring as theirs.

“What?” Javier said with disingenuous innocence and a vulpine smile.

It was a contagious kind of smile, one that reminded Horacio they were equals in this and that he shouldn’t have been surprised Javier had the same idea.

“I take it my mother showed you her ring?”

“On my first visit to Manizales. It was beautiful. And so’s this.”

“As is this.”

“I like to think I put my own spin on it.”

“You did.”

They sat side-by-side on the hammock, legs facing towards each other with the rings held in their outstretched hands.

Javier’s thumb slid across Horacio’s left palm, tracing patterns over new callouses born from hard labour rather than war. He circled his wrist, waiting for the familiar rhythm but finding a beat that was, unsurprisingly, drumming quicker than usual.

After subduing with his touch, Javier retrieved the gold band, gliding it carefully onto Horacio’s ring finger, easing it over the knuckle until it rested snugly at the base.

They sat transfixed, marvelling at the light dancing across it as Horacio’s thumb ran back and forth over the curved surface in fascination.

Horacio repeated the ritual of mapping Javier’s left hand, lacing their fingers together as a tangible reminder of their bond. Their devotion. Their vow. Their choice. Whether the law honoured it one day or not.

He picked up the silver to his gold, shimmying it along Javier’s ring finger and passing beyond the slight resistance at his knuckle. Not too much force, but firm enough for it to sink perfectly into place.

With palms connected and fingers interlocked, their foreheads met, chests rising and falling in tandem.

“Te amo tanto, Javier.”

“Yo también te amo. Tanto, Horacio. Tanto.” Javier whispered, over and over in Horacio’s ear like a prayer – their prayer – before brushing his lips above Horacio’s brow, the bridge of his nose, both cheeks and down to his mouth, creating their own sign of the cross with each kiss. A new beginning and a welcome home.

They untied their robes and collapsed onto the hammock in a tangle of limbs, silver and gold melding at their chests and hands; their past, present and future as inseparable as their hearts, bodies and souls.

With one smooth motion, Horacio pinned Javier’s arms down into the netting of the hammock, a dark, hungry gaze passing between them as cool metal fused with hot skin.

15 years and several lifetimes may have gone by. But when Horacio had the man he loved, the man who loved him, his media naranja, underneath him, only one word ran through his head. Mine.

Old habits die hard, he supposed.

[imogenleewriter]

do you currently have time to read fics yourself, and if so, what were the last ones you read and really liked? like something that stuck with you, or where you laughed a lot, etc… :)

I do! I tend to read shorter fics now because I don't have the time or attention span to read long ones at the moment - as a long fic writer, I'm glad other people do! I wrote the summaries below, but the authors' actual summaries are better than mine, so don't let my shitty ones turn you off the fic!

Somebody's Got Your Trainers On (It's You) by @greenblueish (bluegreenish on ao3) Words: 28k. Almost-exes to lovers. Hospital AU.

Louis is a paeds RN and Harry is a paediatrician that used to work at Louis' hospital. Harry leaves, ending his Situationship with Louis. He returns two years later.

My Thoughts: I LOVED this so much that I commented and then messaged Jill. I honestly don't understand how it's only 28k words because it felt like a whole-arse novel! I work in healthcare (and have worked in paeds) and it was the most accurate description of a ward setting, ward life, healthcare, and paeds that I've ever read. Not a single thing made me cringe. It was paced perfectly and had the right amount of tension and resolution. SO good.

you've set my soul to dreaming @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (we_are_the_same on ao3). Word count: 9.2K. Strangers to lovers. Kind of time travel... kind of.

Harry wakes up one Christmas morning expecting to be alone, like he was when he went to be the night before. Instead he wakes up in his bed, but everything else has changed. He quickly falls in love with his new life and is terrified that it won't last.

My Thoughts: Another fic that felt much longer than the WC (9.2k) because it was so in-depth. I have so much respect for writers who can say so much in so few words! It definitely lived up to the fluff and angst tag. I was almost worried it wasn't going to have a happy ending but it did and even included a short but satisfying epilogue.

Love in Conversation by @hellolovers13 Word Count: 4.9k. Strangers to lovers. Baking phone line.

Despite his protests, Louis has been tasked with making a birthday cake for his younger siblings. The problem? He has no idea what he is doing. After some failed attempts, he stumbles across a helpline for baking mishaps. The other voice on the line does their best to help over the phone, but when Louis still can't get it right, they realise that Louis might need a bit more guidance.

My Thoughts: Just like the premise, this one was super sweet. Both characters were extremely lovable. Just a really cute fic.

Just the two of us (we can make it if we try) by @starryhaze28 (starryhaze on ao3) Word Count: 5.9k. Established couple. A/B/O. Mpreg.

Louis is concerned because his omega has been yo-yo-ing between needy and distant and won't tell him why. As time goes by, he gets increasingly worried. Then he founds out his omega is pregnant.

My Thoughts: Established relationships and mpreg aren't usually my jam, however, this one had enough angst and fluff to draw me in. Very, very sweet.

The Space Between by @alltheselights Word Count: 39.9k. Strangers to lovers. A/B/O. Famous/Non-Famous.

Harry Styles is an alpha and famous rockstar who has everything except for the ability to sleep. When he reaches breaking point, Louis Tomlinson, an omega psychology PhD student, is contacted for his professional sleeping skills. Their relationship drifts into unprofessional territory, though.

My Thoughts: As someone very invested in sleeping - because I also lack the ability - I appreciated this fic. It was another "How did they cover so much in so few words" fic. Had the perfect amount of angst towards the end, a satisfying and lovely resolution.

Something To Remember by @parmahamlarrie Word Count: 25k. Strangers to lovers. Soulmate AU. Famous/Non-famous.

Both Louis and Harry find themselves in an Exclusive Resort in Maui for their respective jobs. Living in a universe where tattoos appear on your skin when you see your soulmate, both of them are surprised that tattoos start showing up. As time keeps passing, getting closer to their departures, they start to fear they'll never actually get to meet their soulmate.

My Thoughts: Not going to lie, I got a bit anxious that they weren't going to meet. You know I love a good countdown and this fic had one... and it served its purpose well, lol. But they do meet, and it's beautiful. Another beautiful fic.

Quiet People Have The Loudest Minds by @2tiedships2 Word Count: 38k. Strangers to Lovers. A/B/O.

Louis is a non-verbal omega and is at a Broadway show, but the alpha next to him is stealing all of his attention, and he just wants him to leave. Until the alpha introduces himself as Harry and offers to leave.

My Thoughts: ANOTHER one that felt as though it had a much longer word count because it was so in-depth. I really like the diversity representation. As someone who isn't non-verbal, I can't vouch for the accuracy; however, from the knowledge and experience I do have, it seemed to be handled really well and respectfully. Extremely well-written and another lovely read.

The next two are both by @zanniscaramouche (zanni_scaramouche on ao3):

My Pleasure (to make you mine), Word Count: 6.5k. Strangers to lovers. Piercing. Praise Kink.

Harry decides to get his nipples pierced, and Louis is the right person for the job.

Your Pain (is mine now) Word Count: 5.1k. Stranges to lovers. Tattoo. Pain and praise kink.

Louis decides to get a tattoo done by Harry.

My Thoughts: I'm putting them together as they have very similar vibes (and are written by the same person, lol). Both have light elements of BDSM and are portrayed softly and sweetly. The writing is amazing! You know how people say, "I've read fics where the writing is better than published books?" Well, okay, that IS a lot of fics, but Zanni 100% fits into that category!

Do You See What I See by @allwaswell16 Word Count: 2k. Mix between Strangers/friends to lovers.

Harry just really cares about lost animals. Really, really cares about them. He cares about potentially lost ones too. Ones that, you know, might not actually be lost. Best to take them to the vet, just in case.

My Thoughts: You asked if I have read any funny ones that made me laugh a lot, and I'm still laughing about this one. It's only 2k words, so I don't want to say too much about it. But awkward Harry is my new favourite thing.

Also, whenever I reblog a fic, that is generally a sign that I loved it!

For transparency's sake, I read a lot of questionable smut that is so questionable that I have not included it!

[intermundia]

hello! my name is will :)

what to expect here: it’s like half aesthetic posts and half star wars, specifically obi-wan and anakin, aka the team, with romantic obikin. i also post about ancient greece a bit, and applied my classics degree pointing out some cultural history of obikin dynamics.

i made edits of obi-wan saying “anakin” and anakin saying “master” at each other and a combo. i love to read about star wars and talk about it, esp. the revenge of the sith novel. sometimes i write meta about it all. i also collect star wars books too (more than 300 so far!)

i've also officially published more than 50 obikin stories! if you are interested in checking out what i have written, here are links and short descriptions of all my works, from novels to PWPs. i'm really proud to have reached this milestone (750k words! whew). thank you guys for all your support along the way <3

Novel-length stories:

Lex Talionis: COMPLETE Plotty, smutty, Sith AU. It’s my take on how Obi-Wan and Anakin could fall to the dark side, weaving in as much lore as I can. Force dyad, Sith’ari, Zygerria, etc. Obi-Wan and Anakin go through.. character development.. and it is dramatized in the changing way they have sex. I poured in all of my theories about metaphysics and the Force, all my knowledge about Augustus and how a Republic dies, all of my opinions about consent and agency. It has rough sex in it and some uncomfortable power dynamics that get resolved, so it is not for everyone, just a heads up. It is complete, and yes, there is a happy ending lol. War Drums: IN PROGRESS Darth Vader dies at the end of Return of the Jedi full of regret and wakes up in his 10-yr-old body after the events of the Phantom Menace. Young Obi-Wan struggles to acclimate to the death of Qui-Gon and the discovery that the boy he swore to train grew up into a Sith. Vader tries to use his knowledge to fix the galaxy and Obi-Wan uses his training to make sure they do it the right way. Anakin underwent his rite and is now an adult, galaxy beware. Murder Puppy: IN PROGRESS Obi-Wan’s decision to do more than flirt with the enemy ends up accidentally acquiring a clingy Sith acolyte, and he is tasked with holding his leash while they work together to end the war. This will probably end up around 40k so a bit shorter than the other two, which are chunkier

Core Oneshots: (my argument for the ship, basically)

Symposium: The story that started it all for me haha. I put Plato's Symposium in a word document and transformed it into a scene where Obi-Wan is forced to reconsider his relationship with Anakin, while dosed with an aphrodisiac, which leads to lines being crossed back in their hotel room. It suggests the erastēs/erōmenos dynamic that appears in much of my work. Unwrap, Wrap: Obi-Wan needs emotional hurt/comfort. This story has him fall apart, and Anakin help put him back together, after a traumatic battle late in the clone wars. Dramatizes the way that the war has muddied their roles and how much their lives are entangled. Obi-Wan gets a handjob in the shower, also, if that is relevant.

Longer Canon AUs: (8k+ words, AUs that take place in the GFFA)

Nostos: Technically a sequel to Symposium. It explores would happen if you took the dynamic established in Symposium and then put the characters in the canon end of Attack of the Clones. How would their behavior be impacted? How would the Jedi react to their decisions? Suckerpunch: Set during the Clovis arc, after Anakin had his jealous fight. Obi-Wan checks on him, and learns about both his marriage and the Tuskens. He doesn't want to lose his apprentice to the dark side, or a Senator. Ready Stance: Anakin is bored during a hyperspace journey during the clone wars, so he asks Obi-Wan to spar. Obi-Wan watches him warm up, they spar, and things escalate. This fic explores more core facets of their relationship, like the legacy teaching dynamic. Found, Fixed: Post-Zygerria Obi-Wan hurt/comfort. It’s similar to Unwrap, Wrap, except it’s told from Anakin’s POV and is much more explicit. It’s one of my rare bottom!Obi-Wan fic, he gets taken care of and comforted from being whumped so hard by the show. Anakin Sucks: Anakin has an oral fixation and it drives Obi-Wan to distraction over the course of the Clone Wars, 5+1 crack taken very seriously lol Make War: show!era Obi-Wan after fighting Vader on Mapuzo shares a dream with him while suspended in bacta. Warning for noncon!! Now with a second chapter set after their near miss on Jabiim. Third chapter based on the kenobi show finale hopefully will be out soon!

A/B/O Stories: (AUs that have this squicky trope, all set in GFFA)

Warm Blood: A/B/O fic that people seem to enjoy. Features omega Anakin having a suppressant failure on the battlefield and going into heat. Alpha Obi-Wan has to fight his way to him, and then tries to resist his instincts—until Anakin confesses his true feelings. Run Away With Me: A/B/O sequel to Warm Blood, tells the story of what happened after the mating, how they left the Jedi and what they’ve been doing. Anakin is preparing to go into heat, and Obi-Wan is helping him nest. Set during Revenge of the Sith, though they don’t know what’s happening in their isolation. Temporary Like Achilles: A/B/O fic. Alpha Obi-Wan is drugged by Dathomirian Nightsisters into a feral state, omega Anakin finds and rescues him. It's a fuck or die with feelings and ultimately a happy ending. Heat Haze: A/B/O fic. Alpha Obi-Wan is living alone on Tatooine, 10yrs post Mustafar. Omega Anakin is about to go into his first heat, and is searching for his mother during the Attack of the Clones. The Force shifts Anakin into the future, bringing the two together in time for Anakin’s heat to begin. Heat Shimmer: A/B/O fic. Alpha Obi-Wan is on Geonosis during Attack of the Clones, investigating. Preheat omega Darth Vader is on Geonosis 13 years later, and the Force decides to move him back in time for his heat. They fight, but it's impossible to fight some insticts. Give Up, Give In: A/B/O fic. Qui-Gon lived AU. Omega Obi-Wan is dosed with a heat inducer during a mission. Alpha Anakin who has loved the older Knight forever doesn’t handle that very well. Ends with Service Top Anakin, a favorite of mine

Longer Modern AUs: (8k+ words, developed AUs that attempt to model the canon dynamic in everyday life)

My Anankē: Classics AU is built on the premise that Obi-Wan would never break the rules re: teacher/student fraternization. He would rather endure years of mutual pining than act inappropriately. Once Anakin’s graduated though, that’s a different story. These are oneshots telling the story of their relationship. It is not told in chronological order, so each one basically opens up another window into their lives. Soulbound: Obi-Wan is a bossy lawyer who plays World of Warcraft. Anakin is an insecure veteran who is in Obi-Wan’s guild and drives him insane. They meet randomly in a bar, and Obi-Wan realizes that Anakin acts the way he does because he likes to be bossed around—so he bosses him around. Zone of Truth: Obi-Wan basically helped raise Anakin through being his Big Brother mentor through a local gaming shop, eventually teaching him to drive and getting him an internship etc. Anakin graduates college and Obi-Wan turns into a ghost, for very good reasons, it turns out. Anakin’s betrayed him, and he’s betrayed himself.

Shorter Smutty AUs: (shorter stories, canon + AUs)

Snap, Crackle, Pop: Padawan Anakin gets braid tugging and spanking after behaving very badly during the Battle of Muunilinst early in the Clone Wars. Tilted: Anakin wakes up after Mortis in a female body and hides, struggling to come to terms with the change. Obi-Wan comes to check on him and reassure him, smut ensues. Make Your Siren’s Call: show!era Obi-Wan struggles to fall asleep in the cave from the photoshoot, and dreams about his old apprentice, full of guilt, angst, and smut Stress Relief: Sith-like/Dom!Obi-Wan is rough on eager!Anakin in their Temple apartment, plays on Master/Padawan dynamic. Unperishing Glory: Homeric AU, Anakin is Achilles-type Chosen One and Obi-Wan is his Patroclus-type mentor-friend, angsty sex Murder Puppy: Playful!Obi-Wan seduces raisedSith!Anakin during a duel, bringing him back to the light during sex. People seem to really like this one, it is one of the things I get the most asks about. I have plans for a short story to expand, it’s on the WIP list I promise. Unwelcome Guest: An AU where Obi-Wan couldn't strike Anakin down on Mustafar. Suitless!Vader comes to find him on Tatooine, and wants to be punished for mistakes, there is spanking involved. Rosetta Stone: Based on the Mummy, an AU where Obi-Wan is a librarian and Anakin is a former soldier, and they defeated a mummy together. Obi-Wan is oblivious and repressed, so Anakin has to be very forward. Safe as Houses: Based on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Anakin is the slayer and Obi-Wan is his Giles-like librarian watcher. Anakin seeks Obi-Wan out in crisis and Obi-Wan takes care of him. The Outlander: Obi-Wan fell to the dark on Naboo AU, so Qui-Gon is Anakin’s Master instead. Anakin sneaks out of the Temple to a club to meet possessive Obi-Wan, there is smut against a wall outside, and Anakin falls to the dark side. Please, Daddy?: Daddy kink fic. Features a bratty Anakin, sex pheromones, spanking and just general daddy!filth. A New Hope: Anakin never left Tatooine AU. He becomes a Han Solo-type pilot who helps a rebel!Obi-Wan escape the Empire. He’s a touch starved, praise starved, virgin who’s insecure about his missing hand. Obi-Wan takes good care of him. Communication, What Communication: Organized Crime AU with collegeStudent!Anakin and accidentalSugarDaddy!Obi-Wan, gratitude kink haha. This fic has been picked up and turned into the phenomenal multichapter story Recoil and Ricochet by @wernnaa.

Potidaea, 432BC: Alcibiades!Anakin and his tutor Socrates!Obi-Wan fight together in the phalanx. Armor kink and period-accurate intercrural sex ensue lol. Minikin and Tiny-Wan: Fluff and crack based on the premise that there are tiny figurines of the Jedi that are alive (kind of like the little dragons in the goblet of fire). Obi-Wan and Anakin each get one, and their Tinys enjoy each other’s company, leading to an awkward but useful conversation. #BinGate: Great British Bake Off AU, Anakin is a contestant who lost his temper and destroyed his bake, Obi-Wan is a judge who enjoys scolding Anakin. Let Me, Master: Padawan Obi-Wan, shy demisexual Master Anakin, Obi-Wan throws caution to the wind and finally seduces his clueless Master, smut ensues with bottom Obi-Wan. Anakin, Duke of Vader, Prince of Coruscant: Anakin is a bratty, troubled prince and Obi-Wan is his unimpressed knight bodyguard. Anakin cries, showing true vulnerability, and Obi-Wan realizes he has a kink for that lmao Sic Transit Gloria Mundi: Sexually frustrated after sparring with his Master, Anakin decides to visit the glory hole in the locker room. Little does he know, he’s not the only one. Boy Toy: Obi-Wan is a fashion designer and Anakin is a first time model. They’ve just finished a boytoy themed photoshoot and get trapped together in an elevator Brotherhood: Anakin is a college student in a spiral after the death of his mother, and his father Qui-Gon left for a trip, leaving his much older step-brother Obi-Wan, who he doesn't know very well, in charge. Obi-Wan picks Anakin up from jail, and the argument goes places. Hard Racing: Anakin is a Formula 1 driver and Obi-Wan is his team principal. After an accident at the Azerbaijan Grand Prix where he ran into his teammate, he is sore, tired, and afraid of getting demoted from his spot. Obi-Wan comes to his hotel to reassure him of his value to him and the team. Beer and Paint: Obi-Wan and Anakin are both apprentices to famous artist Qui-Gon. Anakin has tattoos/piercings/blue streak in his hair, and Obi-Wan is obsessed. Sloppy art and drunk sex ensue.

Smutty +F fic AUs: (short fics that includes Padmé or Ventress)

Très Lecherous: Padmé and Obi-Wan agree to share subby!Anakin, this fic is all three together, and includes DP if that is your jam. Blue Shadow Virus: continuation of above AU, Padmé almost died on Naboo and Anakin doesn’t take it well. Obi-Wan and Padmé dom him into relaxing Post-Revenge: Set after the episode of TCW where Ventress rescues Obi-Wan from Maul and Savage. This is only Ventress/Obi-Wan, but Anakin is extremely present in the fact that Ventress uses Obi-Wan's secret feelings for Anakin to incite him into hate sex. Plus Anakin Makes 3: Sort of a sequel to the Post-Revenge fic, Anakin discovers Obi-Wan and Ventress having a tryst, decides to participate rather than freak out, so more DP haha.

Collaborations: (stories i co-authored with friends)

Apartment Story: Post-Deception arc reconciliation fic, where Obi-Wan is drunk and Anakin is angry. Feelings are revealed, and comfort, understanding and smut ensues. Written with my friend @whohatessandas a RP and adapted into a story. Satellite Mind: What would happen if Obi-Wan could hear Anakin’s thoughts? Spoiler: it does not go well. Set during the last few days of the clone wars, and tracks how their relationship combusted over Anakin’s secrets. Written with @theseptemberist.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Do you think the show really will be cancelled? And do you think the awful part of the fandom that sprung up from it will go away anytime soon if it does?

tbh I really don't know enough about the show to have an opinion on that. I'm not really interested in hate-watching or lurking in fandoms that I don't belong to LOL so I'm not really on the inside of any gossip about how it's looking behind the scenes and I don't really want to speculate because I know I don't have all the information. I think this question is for people who are more invested or have more industry knowledge than I do!

As far as the "awful" part, if you mean fandom casual normies who travel from fandom to fandom like locusts to harass people until all the creators give up: Yes, they will move on. I think sometimes in fandoms you get like, casual normies who discover there's a subculture of nerds they can harass, and they do that for a couple years until it either gets boring or their personality grows enough to have more productive passions, and there's also fandom lifers who actually like, care about their thing (probably in a ND fashion tbh) and are usually the ones who stick around and make all the content that everyone else wants to consume.

The casual normies also just tend to have such underdeveloped senses of self that they join tumblr bc it's the thing to do, and pick a fandom because it's a thing to do, and they spend their whole time fandoming in such a deep state of denial that this might be a real hobby and there might be real people participating that they just neg everybody and shit on it the whole time for being cringe without realizing that they're here too lol. Like the amount of times a bully has tried to shame someone for being too passionate, and used "it's not that deep" as a conversation stopper, etc. These folks will move on because they're here because they're bored, not because they actually are POSSESSSED by the THING. (and hey, if you joined a fandom because you're bored THAT'S GREAT that's how we all got here in the first place, but don't shit on the carpet lol please be respectful to the space you just intruded upon!)

So a show going off the air isn't going to deter the people who actually love it. I mean, my other fandom is Sheith and that show was A. Terrible, B. Over in 2018, and the fandom is still going strong because a lot of people genuinely love the characters. I'd even say the same of VC book fandom, especially considering how much of the fandom falls off after the trilogy, and that ended like, 30 years ago LOL.

The thing about fandoms is that they're self-generating, right? And if you're one of the deep fandom nerd lifers you'll learn this if you haven't yet. Even AMC fandom; S1 ended a year ago and fandom is going strong. Part of it is the hope and hobby of watching news drip out - SURE! But it's also the fanart and fics and meta and conversation. The season is what, like, 7 hours long? And I'm SURE that the deep nerd lifers have spent way way way way way more hours than that reading fanfiction by now. And fanfics can really supplement a canon and give people ideas and deepen their love of the source. So I'm positive that there are people out there who have been moved to tears by fic and feel so strongly about THOSE stories, as well, and it just deepens their love of the show when they return to rewatch.

From 2016-2018 I exclusively read Yuri on Ice fic and there was only one season. And that season is even shorter! It's like 4.5 hours of canon! But when I think about YOI I am thinking about like multitude of NOVELS I've read about it, not JUST the 4.5 hours of canon, right?

All fandoms are like this. Fanworks are the lifeblood. And even with book fandom's lack of fic, I still feel that the friends I've made are the experience here, and how we can chatter all day & night about Armand forever and never get tired of it because we're all ND weirdos lol. I mean my Armand friends and I just spent a week in New Orleans together, it was the best! And as a fanfic writer, I will ALWAYS want to dedicate my free time to writing stories and talking about the blorbos, and I share those stories because fandom is self-generating and I want to do my part in keeping it alive. People create stuff and make friends and stick around well past the death of canon because they are POSSESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I hope that one day when the show is finished that the bad actors get bored and move on and the creators and true fans stick around and keep making stuff, because bullying people and being a cunt uses up a LOT of energy that could be better spent on productive and creative hobbies when they're ready to heal themselves and grow up. It's just not sustainable! :)

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

TELL ME YOUR MOST UNPOPULAR FANDOM OPINION

oh man okay this is hard

on a deep level, it makes me really sad that we don't have as much short alex fan art since the movie. the fact that the book included an M/M pairing where one of the characters is less than 6 ft is pretty rare (I've read a lot of M/M!) and as a short guy it was pretty sick to have someone who was shorter represented in a romance novel. I didn't get mad about that in the casting of Taylor, like rarely do actors perfectly fits all physical descriptions. But, I'm actually really sad about the loss of the short guy rep in the depictions of alex in the aftermath of the movie in both fic and fan art. Of course people can make the art they want (and they should!), I'm just sad that there's not more visual art of "biblically accurate" firstprince.

SORRY THAT GOT A BIT SAD. other unpopular opinions??? um. my hc that nora pegged alex? or my feelings about oscar díaz and ellen claremont? you know these already, I think.

[siriusleee]

a couple changes for 2024:

1. I won't be able to take commissions any longer, but shorter requests are still on the table

2. I have decided to keep my original novel separate from this blog. I will be self-publishing the novel, and I don't intend to ever get rich off of it. But I've been thinking and aside from friends that I've made here reading it, I don't necessarily want to push anyone on this blog to read it even accidentally. It's much different than my fics, and I feel disingenuous posting it here where people who expect my fics might think it's similar.

I also only really posted about it here because I had nowhere else; I don't want to run into any issues in the future linking together a fanfiction account and my publishing name. So if you see any post you've liked about it disappearing, that's because I've been scrubbing my blog of it.

[dg-outlaw]

Hello, fellow Jaysteph fan! It's nice to meet more people who ship this pairing. What are your favorite things about this ship that drew you to it? For me, it was a combination of their canon interactions and just how much they have in common as people. This pairing has a lot of potential and I wish that the canon would explore their relationship more.

To be honest, I sort of stumbled into the JaySteph ship/fandom, but I'm thoroughly enjoying it and the interactions with other fans and creators in the ship.

My journey initially started when I went looking for some Red Hood fanfics, wanting something a bit meatier than just a comic or graphic novel. I enjoy comics, but also wish there were more novelizations of superhero stories. I think this is where fanfic comes in as that's what people tend to do in their stories--dig deeper and spend more time with characters outside of a few internal thought bubbles. While most fanfics I see are romance-centric, slice-of-life, or NSFW (which I don't mind), I also wanted content that felt more like a comic in long-form. I was also in a writing mood, having just finished a re-write project for someone else which had really helped boost my confidence in writing. The story was something I'd never write myself, but it was consistent and I proved to myself I could do it. (I also suffer from a need for external pressure/motivation to get things done). Naturally, writing fanfic seemed like a fun way to keep that momentum and play in a fun sandbox without a bunch of character and worldbuilding.

(^ Me, needing external motivation to get things done. Also, Bruce to Jason. "But your honor, I love my son.")

Then I found the @jaystephevents page and saw there was an upcoming writing event JaySteph Weekend 2023. From there I fell down the rabbit hole of learning about and reading JaySteph stories. The last ship I saw with Jason was him and Artemis from the Outlaws, and while I enjoyed that ship, it ended in canon so I was open to a new ship for Jason.

As far as Jason and Steph go, as probably obvious from the above (and my tumblr), I've been a Jason/Red Hood fan for a long time, but didn't have a lot of knowledge about Steph. I knew she was Spoiler had been Batgirl and then Spoiler and then Batgirl again (thanks to reboots and such), but my canon knowledge was limited--including learning about her "death" and stint as Robin. Despite wanting to jump in and start writing I instead went back and read some stories with Steph and the few that had Jason and Steph in the same story as I wanted to get to know them better, and understand what their dynamic could be.

I then read a lot of JaySteph fanfics as I wanted to see what others saw in their potential relationship as well--not so much to influence my stories, but to inspire. But yes, their similar upbringings, histories, personalities, and tendency of getting pushed aside or undermined as worthy of being a part of the group did inspire me to embrace the ship. I see them as kindred spirits who could either be great together or a hot mess... or both.

I will also note that one of the first JaySteph fics that really wowed me and inspired me to explore all the different emotions and mixing in of canon in my stories was @pioneertothefalls' series True Love Waits. I was still plotting, researching, and writing my first JaySteph story while reading other shorter stories in the ship, but that series was my go-to read starting out last year. There are so many great authors and stories in the ship (so I won't name them for fear of leaving someone out), but that one really resonated with me and had me sold on JaySteph. It's got action, romance, humor, drama, slice of life, canon tie-ins, spicy stuff, and everything in-between. IMO, it set the bar for me and I was like, "okay, don't write crap." Not that I would try to write crap (and hopefully I haven't), but it did help motivate me to really invest in what I was writing.

Also, Jason and Steph are confident badasses who tend to jump head first into things, but they also secretly hide away their insecurities or sometimes hesitate. And their insecurities are ones that only those closest to them are allowed to see, and even then just a bit. They've been hurt in so many ways and all they want to do is be loved and love others like crazy. They have hope and perseverance despite the odds and naysayers. They don't always believe that they deserve to be heroes, but they still do it nonetheless despite their past mistakes and crimes. I'd say Steph is more emotionally mature in these areas because she's had more people around her to support her, but there's fear in both of them. In this, there's lots of things I can relate to personally from my own childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, apart from not being an adopted orphan, vigilante, or having a criminal or billionaire father, but... Potato-Tomato. :P

I also have thoughts on all the BS complaints I see from some people (mostly on Reddit) about "ince$t" and Steph being "passed around the Batboys" when it comes to the JaySteph ship, but this is already a long post so I'll save that rant for now.

All in all, this is a really fun ship and I enjoy the community and people around it. There's also a JaySteph Discord (18+) for anyone interested. More info @jaysteph-server.

Thanks for the Ask @imaginationcenter! :)

[olderthannetfic]

Is there a tendency toward longer=better in fanfic? My observation is that that’s the case for both readers and writers. I don’t get it.

Maybe I’m just blinded by my love of reading short fic (like <3000 words, preferably <2000) or by my focus on concise writing (which I do for my job).

I’m curious is this the wide spread preference? Why? Or is it emblematic of something else going on? Has it been this way since always?

--

I dislike fluff and introspective character studies where nothing much happens.

While, yes, I've occasionally read a 2k fic with a solid plot, it's rare.

In my entertainment reading (fic or not)) I tend to be looking for a romcom, a mystery case, a spy thriller, etc. I tend to want a plot that's more like an episode of tv or a movie. You can do that in a shorter length than today's 350-page novels. You can definitely do it in 20 or 30k if you're concise. You cannot do it in 2k.

I also dislike and avoid professional short stories for the most part.

I like standalone novels all right and love novel series. I do tend to prefer novels that are more like 60k than 100k though. The plots I like tend to be baggy and full of filler at 100k. A cozy mystery novel doesn't need to be 100k. A story of dynastic succession probably needs 400k.

I don't think it's so much that longer is always better. It's more that a given length tends to indicate what type of story you're getting.

[elapsed-spiral]

OFMD fics (so far)

Time to update my fic list again³, check it out under the cut.

This list is getting out of control so I've added some handy symbols: 🎧 = podfic available 💜 = personal favourite ⭐ = fics you may have heard about? Maybe? I don't know, I don't have a sense for this stuff.

Cool collaboration(s) you should read immediately:

🎧💜Work Experience: what if Ed went to meet Stede when the Revenge ran aground? And what if Ed became a member of Stede’s crew? And what if things kept escalating and… Canon AU. Mature. Co-written with Shearwater.

Really no excuse for how stupid these ones are:

Watch Out, Here I Come: what if Stede had been intentionally seducing Ed? Teen

Once More, With Feeling: what if Frenchie just fixed the season 1 finale fiasco because he’s the most capable guy on the ship? Teen

Talent Show: what if Ed was crass about his sexual preferences? Explicit

Capsize on Your Thighs: what if Ed rebounded onto Calico Jack at the end of season 1? Ed/CJ and Ed/Stede (but Ed/Stede is endgame, natch). Explicit

🎧💜Your Feedback is Important to Us: what if Stede started holding open cabin hours to allow the crew to air their grievances (but was also very repressed and horny over Ed)? Explicit

Oh no Ed’s working through gender/class stuff (but make it funny):

Finery: Ed gets to wear a dress, Stede spontaneously combusts. Explicit

Tell More Tales: Stede isn’t the only writer aboard the Revenge. Explicit

🎧💜Lovers and Madmen: Ed is hellbent on marrying Stede. Explicit

AUs no-one asked for:

Novel/novella length

🎧💜Restructuring: modern AU where Stede loses his fortune before meeting Ed, but Ed’s still got more money than you can shake a fucking stick at. Only problem is, Stede lies and says he’s wealthy and Ed lies and says he isn’t. Like the show, it’s a romcom about trauma. Explicit 🎧💜⭐Baddy Zaddy: Bridget Jones’s Diary style, former porn star turned sex shop owner!Ed/still unfortunately landed gentry!Stede. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

💜⭐Prize Every Time: You’ve Got Mail-y secret pen pals but also business rivals. Novel length modern AU. Explicit

Conflict of Interest: lawyer!Stede/businessman!Ed (read: gangster). Modern AU. Explicit

Shorter uns

Intergalactic Tango: Space Waltz AU. Mature

🎧💜Trade Descriptions Act: bailiff!Ed/estate agent!Stede. Identity theft but make it meet cute. Modern AU. Teen

Your Favourite Song: locksmith!Ed/museum curator!Stede. Kinktober fill that somehow isn’t E rated. Modern AU. Teen

⭐Draft Letter to Restaurant Downstairs: Google Docs AU with a (slightly) interactive element. Modern SMAU. Teen

Blind Date: Stede and Jeffrey Fettering go on a blind date at Ed’s restaurant. I think you know where this is going. Modern AU. Explicit

Different Dimension: ficlet that crams four and a bit AUs into 850 words. Modern AU. Teen

Stuck Still: British holiday resort AU feat. events manager!Stede and bartender turned fairy!Ed (it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

💜On the Job: “kidnapping” meet cute (but not actually. Again, I swear it makes sense in the story I swear). Modern AU. Explicit

Starring Jason Statham: another weird meet cute, courtesy of Jack and the Fast and Furious franchise. Stede/Jack, Ed/Jack and Ed/Stede (Ed/Stede is once again end game). Modern AU. Teen

West Ham Is for Lovers: Lucius has a new job. It's going fine. Completely, totally fine. A meet cute fic about meet cutes. Ed/Stede but also Lucius/Pete, Lucius/Fang, Lucius/Izzy and Lucius/Olu/Jim. Modern AU. Teen 💜Conventional: back in the 00s, Ed was in a very famous movie franchise. Nowadays, he does the convention circuit. Modern AU. Explicit 🎧💜Proud: Ed attends Pride to get free mum hugs, Stede attends Pride to give free dad hugs. Modern AU. Teen KrakenAir: Stede and the crew are heading to Benidorm to celebrate Stede coming out. That is, if Stede’s all expenses spared KrakenAir flight ever departs. Modern SMAU. Teen Very Poor, Becoming Good: Aspiring Gentleman Backpacker Stede Bonnet is adventure bound when he meets fellow traveller Ed Teach at an empty hostel. Now if they could just find the owner… Modern AU. Explicit

Stolen by the Gentleman Thief: Ed is a lonely gay guy in his late forties whose favourite book is historical softcore porn. Luckily, there's a weird meet cute about to happen. Modern AU. Explicit

Oh no there’s been a containment breach (aka non-Blackbonnet fics):

💜We Do What We Like (and We Like What We Do): A brief history of Ed and Jack. Explicit (Ed/CJ)

Fealty: Stede and Izzy make one another even more miserable. Mature (Stede/Izzy)

💜Contra Proferentem: Ed is a high powered lawyer and Professor of Law at the University of Cambridge. Lucius is not a high powered lawyer but he is a lecturer of English Lit at the University of Cambridge. Stede own a very nice cafe. Explicit (platonic Ed/Lucius, Ed/Stede, no cheating involved)

[evilwriter37]

Ao3 Wrapped Writer Edition

Questions from this post.

I wanted to answer these questions to take a look back at what I've accomplished this year. And you know? Very glad I did it. This made me feel pretty good. (And yes, there is shameless self promotion coming up.) Here we go!

How many words have you written this year?

307,418

How many works did you publish this year?

I think 176? My counting could be off.

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Honestly, any of my stories to do with Heather this year. I wrote about her quite a lot and really got to explore her trauma and characterization. I love her so much, and those fics really stand out to me.

What work of yours has the most hits?

An Heir and a Throne with 8,976 hits. I don’t know if I’d count it though, because I didn’t start it this year. 

If we’re going with stories I wrote this year, that would be Reliant with 2,224 hits.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

“I Don’t Know What You Mean”. It was a one-shot at first that I started last year for a whump event. Then I added more chapters, and I was stunned by how many people liked it.

Favorite title you used

Freedom Comes on Violet Wings

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

N/A

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Don’t even have to look to know that it’s Viggo/Hiccup.

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Sorry, I can’t pick just one! I’ll do my top 3!

Viggo/Hiccup, Dagur/Hiccup, Viggo/Astrid

What work was the quickest to write?

I have so many to comb through that it would be hard to say. I wrote Lovers’ Eve in a one hour sitting, but there are shorter fics that definitely took less time.

What work took you the longest to write?

As far as one-shots go, I remember Power Sick taking me a while. It’s 6,547 words.

How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

Let’s see. There’s Getting a Scar Out of It (HTTYD Dagcup Soulmate AU), An Heir and a Throne (HTTYD), Our Time Together (HTTYD), Adapt (Thrawn, not posted), Kintsugi (Teen Wolf), and What Question Can You Never Say Yes To? (Teen Wolf)

So that’s 6 multichapter fics. Whoopsie.

What’s your longest work of the year?

An Heir and a Throne with 48,981 words. Almost novel length!

What’s your shortest work of the year?

For HTTYD: Heather Lost with 253 words

But I think Good Omens takes the cake for my shortest fic. That would be He Tasted Like Coffee with only 137 words.

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

See above.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Whump. Are we even surprised?

Your favorite character to write this year?

I write a lot of Hiccup and Viggo, but you know, I’m really enjoying the writing I’ve been doing with Dagur and Heather that I started later this year. Also really been enjoying Astrid. 

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Aziraphale. Writing from his perspective is kind of difficult. I find Crowley much easier to write. His dialogue flows better for me.

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Get the pitchforks, but probably more Dagur/Heather. They’re a fucked up pair and I want more of it.

Also, maybe more Viggo/Astrid.

Very tentatively thinking of Jack Frost/Hiccup.

Which works of yours have you reread the most?

Vigcup Week, probably. I think those were fantastic.

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

6,889

Which work has the most comments?

An Heir and a Throne followed by Our Time Together.

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

No, sadly, but I maybe want to try next year.

Did you write any gifts this year?

Not really, but I did do a lot of requests and some commissions!

Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yes! I’ve received 7 of them! I am guilty of not having read them all though. 

What’s your most common category?

Gen fic, followed by m/m

What do you listen to while writing?

Cinematic alternative, modern orchestra, rock, metal

Favorite work you wrote this year?

No idea. There are just too many!

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

*stares at everything I wrote* Yeah, um, I’ll pass on this one.

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I’m starting to get the hang of m/f and f/f couples!!! This is huge for me, because as an AFAB nonbinary trans guy with debilitating endometriosis, I can have a lot of trouble writing those types of pairings. I associate those body parts with pain, not pleasure, but I’m learning. I’m figuring out how to take my association out and just write the characters, or write the characters in new ways where I can still work around my pain. It's been so cool and incredible to me, as well as therapeutic. Writing is great, you guys.

[spaceshipkat]

i've said for months now that i want to write the ofmd beat sheet of season 1 and where i think season 2 could go, and @ourflagmeansgayrights had asked me to tag them in it in ye olde yesteryear, and i am finally doing it bc i just finished revising a romcom w my lit agent so it's all fresh in the brain (please note i have been going to bed bw 1:30am - 2am for the past week bc of that deadline so if i start rambling no i'm not)

this post will be long, so it's going under a cut. for this writeup, i will only focus on Ed and Stede, not the other characters with their own plot with their own beats. if you want to read the book i'm taking these beats from (and i highly recommend it if you're someone who likes to write or wants to start writing romance novels! of any subgenre! but it'd probably work for longer fics, too, or even shorter fics if one of them applies to a certain beat or follows certain beats), it's Romancing the Beat by Gwen Hayes.

going in, do remember that this is not a hard and fast rule. depending on the writer, variations of this can crop up in fiction, and do, often with success. but for the purpose of this post, we'll stick with the preestablished beats.

Beat #1: Introducing H1 and H2, aka introducing your two main characters. in the case of ofmd, this is Ed and Stede. Stede's introduction, as we all know, is him appearing on the stairs of the Revenge narrating to Lucius about how he runs the ship. episode 1 is, in essence, the entirety of Introducing H1, bc it's spent on Stede first and foremost. one might think that episode 2, when Black Pete starts telling the audience via the crew about Blackbeard, is Introducing H2, even though he isn't physically on the screen yet and what we hear of him isn't actually true (he doesn't have embers for eyes etc). and while it is and it isn't, i think a better example of this introduction beat is in episode 3 when we-the-audience finally get to meet Ed onscreen, as he orders Izzy around and blows smoke rings.

Beat #2: Meet Cute, aka what it says on the tin. obviously this is the end of episode 3, when Stede is stabbed by the Spaniards and Ed saunters on with all his pomp and circumstance to rescue him. meet-cute for the ages, that.

Beat #3: No Way #1, aka when our character expresses in some way why they don't want to fall in love--at all or with a particular person--and sets up the romance arc. for Stede, we the audience know he's married and doesn't actually think he can be/know he is gay (depending on your interpretation--i'm not here to say which it is), so we can interpret that as contributing to his No Way #1.

Beat #4: Adhesion, aka what keeps them in proximity of one another. this beat encompasses much of episode 4, when Stede and Ed have to work together to find a way to deal with the Spaniards hunting them, and also what follows afterward that morning in the crow's nest, when Stede and Ed agree to spend time together: Stede to teach Ed how to be a Proper Gentleman and Ed to teach Stede how to be a pirate.

Beat #5: No Way #2, aka Beat #3 but for the other protagonist. now, sometimes that's not always the case, since Beat #3 can also introduce the No Way for both protagonists, which would thus leave Beat #5 as simply a time in which we dig deeper into why a character or characters doesn't want to fall in love or doesn't want to fall in love with one specific person. but in the case of ofmd, Beat #5 is for Ed introducing his No Way. at the end of episode 4, Ed expresses to Izzy that he intends to kill Stede and take his place as a Proper Gentleman (whether or not he actually means to follow through on this or had planned this from the beginning are another couple things up for debate depending on your interpretation, which again i am not here to touch on). therefore, he has no intention of falling in love at all, but with Stede in particular.

Beat #6: The Inkling, aka when we start to have fun. in a typical beat sheet, rather than one specifically for a romance, this would be the start of the Fun and Games beat, where we go along with the characters on the start of their plot/journey. for a romance, this is when the two characters start to Feel Things, even if they can't identify those things or aren't fully aware of them. this encompasses episode 5 and stretches into episode 6, in which we see Ed and Stede spending more time together while they teach one another about being a gentleman and/or about being a pirate. we see Ed and Stede hanging out chatting; we see them telling stories with the crew; we see them dressing one another in finery; we see them sword-fighting. Stede doesn't want to go to the fancy fuck party, but he goes bc Ed wants to. Ed has a rough time of it there, which leads to Stede being The Gentleman Pirate. all of these scenes are meant to allow them to grow closer/feel attraction to one another (whether or not they're aware of it) as they learn more about one another and spend time together realizing they get along really well and might not actually hate it. this beat ends with Ed being forced to attempt to carry out his plan to kill Stede by Izzy, except he can't do it. bc Ed is more self-aware than Stede and/or bc he isn't unaware of his being gay, he can see how this has changed things for him, even if he's not sure he's ready to welcome that.

Beat #7: Deepening Desire, aka when those realized feelings in Beat #6 begin to come to a head. fittingly, this beat begins in episode 7, when Stede and Ed go treasure hunting not bc Ed wants to but because Stede does and Ed is unable to say no to Stede's puppy eyes (or his very sassy "we're having a day!" and flip of his coattails). again, i'm not sure that Stede is aware of his feelings for Ed yet (perhaps his attraction to Ed, but that's another thing that's up for debate) but Ed is certainly aware of his own growing feelings for Stede, even if he doesn't think anything will come of them...until Lucius gets involved, giving Ed the kick in the pants he needs to recognize that, while Stede might be oblivious to his feelings and unable to name them, he's still very much Feeling Things. just look at the way Ed encourages Stede to use his map, even though it's burned. just look at the way Ed looks at Stede when Stede is looking at the map and decides to set off in A Direction. Lucius knows Ed is aware of his feelings for Stede, hence the teasing, and Ed isn't denying them, even if he has no intention on acting on them. at least until, of course, he suggests in unison with Stede the idea of becoming co-captains. with regard to Stede's Beat #7, i think it goes into episode 8. he might not recognize what he feels for Ed yet, but he absolutely recognizes he's jealous of Ed and Jack's relationship (even if he expresses it in a way Ed might find difficult to understand), and learns that "anything goes at sea." Stede might not have been fully aware of his being gay, but he's certainly aware of the concept of homosexuality (how can he not be with the crew he has?). thus, he understands what Jack implies, and afterward, when Ed has left him, this comes to a head with how he watches the beach all night (poor Olu, patience of a saint and heart of gold).

Beat #8: Maybe This Time, aka when they think Maybe, Just Maybe, it wouldn't be the worst idea to maybe sort of give into all those thoughts and feelings. after all, at the beginning of episode 9, Ed just sacrificed himself to the British for Stede, returning to the Revenge to be with him no matter what Badminton has in store. Ed just threw himself between Stede and a firing squad. they both just signed the Act of Grace, damning themselves to ten years of serving the British Empire that Stede chafes under and Ed has spent his life fighting against/fleeing from. but they're doing it together! maybe it'll be okay! maybe! this! time!

Beat #9: Midpoint of Love, aka when Things Happen bc we're now at the halfway point of this story. Stede and Ed are together at the privateering academy, Ed wants to be Just Ed bc the time he has spent with Stede has been the most fun he's had in ages, maybe ever. they kiss! they actually kiss! they start making plans to run away to China together! Ed is happy! Stede is too, but...

Beat #10: Inkling of Doubt, aka when highs start to fade even as attachment (whether on the page--the two characters are dating, or sleeping together, or holding hands, whatever the story demands--or more vaguely, such as the two characters being aware of their feelings and how they're reciprocated but are unsure if they can actually get away from their No Way beats). Stede might be riding high on the thrill of being kissed by Ed, but that doesn't mean his worries have gone away, as evidenced by his continued almost dissociation throughout episode 9. thus, when Badminton finds him and confirms all his fears (that he's ruined Blackbeard, the greatest pirate of all time) (that he's abandoned Mary and his children) (whether or not Badminton actually showed up or was a hallucination like Stede experienced in episode 2 is another thing up for debate depending on your interpretation), he decides to run away and abandon Ed to return to his wife and children, thus harkening all the way back to his No Way beat (#3 up there).

Beat #11: Deepening Doubt, aka when things get progressively...bad. in this case, Ed knows now that Stede isn't meeting him. he starts to wonder if he misread everything, despite the kiss, bc he doesn't know what really happened to Stede--only that he never actually showed up. he returns to the Revenge and hunkers out in the blanket fort, all his fears getting worse, confronting his own No Way beat of whether or not he should have fallen for Stede.

Beat 12: Retreat! Retreat! aka when things start to go from bad to worse. Ed starts trying to move on from Stede, in the best way he can, after talking to Lucius about life just beginning again no matter how much we might hurt. for Stede, this is when he tries to force himself back into the mold of the man he left behind--the man he never was--by playacting as that hoity toity asshole society demands he be. look at how he talks to Doug, and how he forces himself back into Mary's life, no matter how miserable he is (and others are as a result--Mary in particular). he thinks he can't have that life at sea bc he has responsibilities w Mary and his children that he can't escape from.

Beat 13: Shields Up, aka when the characters are at their lowest for varying reasons. Ed knows that, if he wants to survive Izzy, he can't be Ed. he has to be Blackbeard, he has to be the Kraken. he also tells himself he was wrong about Stede, full stop. this leads to him tossing all of Stede's fine things overboard, marooning the crew while forcing Jim and Frenchie to remain onboard, and going full Kraken Mode--or so we wants people to believe. we see him at his other lowest, sobbing alone in the empty captain's cabin, looking at the painting of the lighthouse. Stede, of course, ends on a high (his arc was a bit fast-tracked toward Beat #16 down below, but not fully).

now, it's possible that Beats 11, 12, and 13 might show up in the beginning of season 2 in some way/shape/form. we might not be done exploring those beats and all they encompass, for either character, simply bc there wasn't as much time spent on them at the end of episode 9/in episode 10. but these are the upcoming beats we can might see explored throughout season 2, since we know that David Jenkins is following a romance arc for this series. and one thing to remember, as i mentioned above, is that this is not a hard and fast rule. beats can be played around with, overlap for different characters, have hiccups or brief reruns.

Beat #14: Break Up, aka what it says on the tin. some might wonder if this beat happens in the above Beat #13 scenarios i've written out, and while that may very well be possible, it would mean that Beats 10 - 13 were fast-tracked in a matter of two episodes. remember, season 2 wasn't greenlit by the time season 1 aired but months later, so David Jenkins might have wanted to play around with the structure so we're not completely left on the same low that Ed is. we know that Stede is coming back for him, even if Ed doesn't yet. thus, we might very well get a Beat #14 in season 2. Ed and Stede might reunite, Stede believing he and Ed can simply go back to what they used to be, only for him to be confronted with just how badly he hurt Ed. from the theories going around, they're bound to meet up at least a couple times before they're spending consistent time together again.

Beat #15: Dark Night of the Soul, aka the lowest of the low points at the worst of the worst points in a character's journey. for Stede, this might be him believing that he'll never be able to win Ed back. for Ed, this might be him going Full Kraken, as we see in many of the stills and teasers (him threatening Frenchie, him objecting to weddings, him adopting what the legend of Blackbeard says he looks like with the nine guns on his chest).

Beat #16: Wake Up! Smell the Coffee! aka when the sun finally rises. for Stede, this might be when he finally figures out a way to win Ed back and, perhaps, gets an inkling that Ed might actually be open to it. for Ed, this might be him realizing he's actually willing to try again with Stede, trusting that Stede won't hurt him.

Beat #17: Grand Gesture, aka what it says on the tin. if i say "picture the grand gesture in a romcom," you might picture a character running through an airport to get to their love interest before they board a plane forever. you might picture a character running through the rain to find another character bc when you love someone, you want the rest of your life to begin right now. (yeah i'm referencing when harry met sally sue me) on a show like ofmd, with a character like Stede, i think we can anticipate a very, very big grand gesture. i've written so many of them myself in so many ways (one of which even kinda aligns with that theory i saw floating around with Ed climbing up out of the surf and finding himself on an island with Stede and the crew) as have so many other brilliant writers, so i think it can go in any way we might have predicted and perhaps even some we haven't yet dreamed up.

Beat #18: Whole-Hearted, aka when we see the two characters in their New Happy, living together in love. now, i can see this going one of two ways: either season 2 ends with this Whole-Hearted beat only for season 3 to throw in some new kind of obstacle(s) that forces a revisitation of any of the above or perhaps new beats entirely, or season 2 doesn't make it to the Whole-Hearted beat and we thus have to wait for it (and perhaps Beats 16 and 17) for season 3. we know that David Jenkins sees this story as requiring three seasons to tell it fully from start to finish, which is why i think that we'll be revisiting some of the later beats from season 1 in season 2 and only get through a couple (perhaps Beats 14, 15, and 16) in season 2 before the season ends. season 2 has only eight episodes, versus season 1's ten. this could be bc of HBO fuckery, but it could also be bc David Jenkins has plans to explore some of the later beats in season 3, with season 2 just focusing on, perhaps, Beats 12 - 15.

of course, there's no way we can know until we see season 2. i'll definitely revisit this as the season progresses, since these are all just predictions based on my knowledge of writing and editing romcoms and romance novels. and others might have different takes on what happens for each beat in season 1 and season 2, bc again, everything is based on your own interpretation of preestablished rules and where you think a certain character might be mentally and emotionally. no one person is right about where each scene, moment, or character beat falls (apart from the show's writers, obviously, given they're the ones creating this).

but this is to give people some reassurance going into season 2, since i've seen so many people worried that the show is gonna go darkdarkdark, like Black Sails darkdarkdark. i understand your worry, given how often queer shows have screwed queer viewers over (i've been there!!! when i first started watching ofmd last year, i was right there, thinking we might not actually get an actual queer story like we've all been hoping for). but i also want to say that, as a writer myself, as an editor of romance, i'm not in the least bit worried that we won't eventually have our happy ending. David Jenkins isn't the kind of person to jerk our chain. he's here to tell a love story. he's not going to kill them at the end.

if you read this far, congrats! i rambled! there are probably a fuckton of typos! i will return to edit this eventually, but it's almost 11pm my time and my brain is fried. but my inbox is always open if you want to talk about anything above. just don't come into it with bad faith takes, willful misunderstanding, or whatever bullshit might pop into certain fans' minds. i'm really not here for it. i love this show, i love these characters, and i have full faith we'll be okay in the end. 💖

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Ahoy Steph 🙌, I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about yourself and what kind of tropes and stories you enjoy? Wanna get to know a little more about who is behind the blog if you don't mind🤸

Hey Nonny!

Sorry for the delay in a reply... just haven't "felt it" the past couple months, and after a nice 2 week break (and now a slow day at work), I feel more up to answering a long-form ask today, LOL.

So, I won't reveal too much about myself that isn't already public, since I try to keep my online and personal lives separate (and I come from an age where people usually DID do this because no one needs to know every little bit about you). The basics are that I'm a 41-year-old Canadian dork who loves video games, animation, movies, drawing, writing, and making music. I'm a graphic designer by trade, and have been for nearly 20 years, and I love it (if you need something designed or laid out, hit me up, I freelance on the side for extra spending money). I love dragons and puppies and kitties. I've been in fandom spaces for as long as I can remember, even before the internet. First major fandom I was a part of was Sonic the Hedgehog in my teen years, used to be a pretty popular writer back then. I moved on to Darkwing Duck in my 20s, then TMNT and then Sherlock (I'm a fan of a TONNE more things, but these were the active fanbases I had a presence in). These days I'm more of a lurker than actively participating, though Sherlock has been the longest one I haven't really moved on from. I like the casualness of what I've built here, and I think that's been a huge benefit for my mental health.

Hmm... my fave food is mac and cheese, but had to cut back on it a lot, so these days it's mostly chicken, lol. Fave dessert is cheesecake. Again, not supposed to eat it because of the dairy and sugar, so if I make it, I use lactose-free cheese. I treat myself once-a-year on my birthday, usually.

My current dream is to own a home. I've been trying to make it happen for almost 10 years now, and every time I get close, the goal-post gets shifted as housing prices skyrocket. It makes me very sad.

My dream holiday is a Disney cruise OR somewhere tropical; wanted to do these since I was 20. Secondary dream WAS going back to Disney World for my 40th, but now it's for my 45th or 50th, hopefully with SOMEONE (no one wants to go with me, hence the back-burner on this one). Listen, I know how awful Disney is. I just... really loved being there. It's easy to forget a lot of things when you're there. Third dream is a cross-country LITERAL nostalgia road trip with my sister. We used to go on 2-week-long, cross-Canada road trips when we were kids, and I just... want to kind of relive those, y'know? Lots of fond memories. Again, something that's just a dream because while my sister wants to do it, she doesn't want to be an alternate driver, so. Yeah, I can't do the driving alone.

Uh... Hmm. Not sure what else I should talk about here, if there's something specific y'all want to know, just ask :)

As for fave tropes, I love fake relationship fics the most, I think, followed by pining and movie rewrites with characters... I'm actually pretty easy-going when it comes to tropes, really. Willing to read any trope at least once to see if I like it.

Oddly, though, I prefer stories that are SUPER in-character (to how I read them, anyway) AND focus a lot on character studies and relationships with other characters. Novel-length stories are usually the best for it, but shorter ones can be too. I prefer fanfics more these days because I don't have to think about how these characters SHOULD be and focus more on the world that the author created. When I do read published novels, though, they're usually fantasy books. One of my fave series ever is the Inkheart Trilogy. Just an easy read from book one.

Yeah, so that's a little bit about me, to start off 2023 AND for any newbies that have just recently found me.

Thanks again for your curiosity :) Again, if you have anything you want more elaboration on, I can at my discretion.