#iamtheproblem

[thegratefulnuts]

The great paradox of addiction is that while it’s is not a conscious choose/decision we make or personal failing we’re too weak to overcome, we do have to make a decision to choose sobriety. Being an alcoholic or struggling with addiction means that I am bodily and mentally different from “normal people.” My brain functions just fine in every other situation other than where drugs and alcohol are involved. I have a disease, one of the only diseases in the world that tries to convince me I don’t have it. My brain plays tricks on me that convinces to to self-sabotage, self-destruct, and burn my own life to the ground. The absurdity is that with the proper resources and support, I can turn the volume down on that little voice in my head. Essentially, I had to learn to get out of my own way so that the rational, logical, and “sane” parts of my brain could take over. The only thing holding me back, was the part of me that I didn’t know how to let go of. I was my biggest problem. I was the roadblock that kept putting the bottle in my hand. The biggest problem between drunk me and sober me was… ME! • • • • #iamtheproblem #selfsabotage #selfdestruction #addictionisadisease #addictionsucks #wedorecover #recoveryispossible #recoveryisreal #sobersupport #sobersunday #addictionsupport #addiction #addictionrecovery #sobercommunity #recoverycommunity #alcoholfreecommunity #soberthoughts #soberinstagram #sober #sobriety #soberinspiration #sobermotivation #selfawareness #odaat #recoveringalcoholic https://www.instagram.com/p/CpatoXyuf3s/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[drivemysoul]

Hey, how are you?

not super great but i'll be okay i just need to be dramatic first

[clarabowmp3]

Blog rec anon here to spread the cheer! Recommend a blog that: 

Is a bestie from afar

Reminds you of a specific taylor song (can be for whatever reason)

Has the best tags on their posts

Makes amazing gifsets

Has pretty colors!

Has a great icon or header

A blog that you think Taylor should scroll through!

I keep not saving the draft SKJDKDK so this is like my fifth time, sorry for taking so long! (Also I was very distracted while doing this sorry)

Besties from afar: @evermoreftboniver @intomymelancholia @abbaswift @wtnytv @rep-meow-tay-tion @gothmacbro @delicatetaylorsversion @babefourtheweekend @domperignonubroughtit @dancingwithourhands

reminds of a specific Taylor song: @left-in-the-motel-bar @bttysgarden @youareonyourownkid @thelasttimeyoueversawme @likeasecrett @starsaroundmyscars @wouldvecouldveshouldve

best tags: @1989tv @lavenderr-haze (sorry I don’t normally have the attn span to read tags 😭😭)

amaaazing gifsets: @thatwasthenightthingschanged @snownonthebeach @seegoldendaylight @lovestory @tayl0r1989

pretty colours (this and the category below overlap a lot)!!: @starsbythe @taylorswifff @taylorryoullbefine @stood-onthecliffside @mythicalthing @honeyed-sunflowers @lostinthestarsss@antiticketmaster @under-sparkling-lights @itsme-iamtheproblem++ literally all of my mutuals how do y’all have such good colour theory sense 😭

great icon or header: @i-dont-know-anything (STILL cracks me up) @candyswiz @iknowyoubyheart (so soft 🥺) @fightwithyouinmysleep @oursacredoasis @readthelastpaage @sadbeautiifultragic

Blog that Taylor should scroll through: nslakajxnxmala allll of them actually but special mention goes to @ftpanon (I think she’d rlly love the linguistic games)

this took way toooo long and there were so many ppl I wanted to mention I hope o didn’t miss anyone outtt 💖

[dessarious]

This Isn’t Fiction

***This isn’t my normal post and maybe I shouldn’t deviate like this but honestly I think it needs to be put out there. Yes, I know I’m a hypocrite and you’ll understand why I say that if you read this but I want to warn everyone that this is just my personal thoughts on the world right now and my role in it. Some people may feel called out, and honestly they probably should. I wrote this to call myself out.*** I fully expect to lose followers over this and that's okay. This also isn’t going to become a normal occurrence. I just need to get this out where other people can see it. As messed up as it sounds I need people to understand this and I need to know people hold me accountable.

Morning Thoughts

So everyday I wake up to some new catastrophe or idiocy from those in power and it’s gotten to the point that you wonder if any of this is salvageable anymore. I live in the US so my tolerance for corruption and stupidity was pretty high before all this started but even those of us that were born into this society, this culture of division, hate, and apathy are starting to lose tolerance. The fact that so many of us can look at everything going on and feel so detached from everything and everyone around us is… honestly it’s frightening.

I know that shit sucks. I know that the world is screwed up. I know that people are in pain, dying of hunger, being murdered, being raped, fighting mental illness, fighting a world that’s set up to make us fail. And I still do nothing. Why? Everyone blames everyone else for the problems in the world, for the problems in their own life. Now yes, there are a lot of things out of our control but in truth laying blame even for those things gives us a victim mentality and allows us to give up responsibility for our own problems. That mentality is what has reduced us to the state we’re in now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as bad or worse than most people in the fact that rather than try to fix things or even understand the world around me anymore, I choose to isolate myself. I choose to do nothing. I choose to let the world implode around me knowing full well eventually I’ll be dragged back into it and come out just as bad as everyone else. Why?

I can sit here and blame the education system that failed me and everyone else (and yes the US education system is designed to teach us to follow orders and not think for ourselves), I can blame the government that’s corrupt and the politicians who are only looking out for their own interests. I can blame the large corporations that would happily let us all burn if it meant bigger profit margins. I can blame the generations before us that let things get this bad in the first place. I can sit here and research and point out every decision and mistake that got us here, but to what end?

Blaming others and letting others control what happens to us is how we ended up where we are in the first place. Allowing those in power to manipulate us and use our fears and hatreds to divide us while they take advantage of our weakness got us here. Look at the culture online. All those people who feel perfectly fine spouting vindictive, hateful, and downright dangerous vitriol because they can. Right or wrong has become secondary to what we can get away with. Common courtesy has completely given way to ‘I want’ or ‘I deserve’. This is the culture I grew up in. I know it’s screwed up. I know it’s wrong. But it’s normal and our willingness to accept what is normal, no matter how terrible it is, is frightening. Our complacency to let the world burn around us is terrifying.

I write this knowing full well that it will take something monumental to force me to any real action. Yes, I’ll vote this November to try and make things slightly less bad. But I am lazy. I am indolent. Even when things affect me directly, I. DO. NOTHING. I am the norm. I am why the world is quickly devolving into chaos. I know this. And still I DO NOTHING. Maybe it’s because I do feel so disconnected. Maybe it’s because I grew up believing that nothing I did mattered and that I could never be one of those people that change the world around me. Maybe it’s because I have no right to complain because compared to a lot of people, I have a good life. My problems are insignificant. I have no right to complain because so many people have it worse than I do. All I know is that I’m not an instrument of change. I am not a driving force to be reckoned with. I AM NOTHING because I DO NOTHING. And the world is filled with people like me.

I am the root problem. People like me are the root problem. It’s not those that hate others indiscriminately. It’s not the people in power who take advantage of my laziness. It’s our willingness to accept the world around us. Our willingness to shrug and say we can’t do anything about it. Our willingness to stand aside and watch things happen, knowing they are wrong. Our willingness to just let things be because we are afraid of change. We are afraid of standing out. We are afraid of bringing attention to ourselves. And at the bottom of it all, we believe we deserve what we get. Good or bad. Right or wrong.

I am the majority. And that is the problem.

On a side note. Is anyone else thinking it’s a good time to pool resources, start a new religion (perhaps the divine order of common sense and decency), and start a self-sufficient, self-sustaining commune? I have zero helpful experience, but I’m a quick learner with a high mechanical aptitude.

[raphaelius2305]

#WokeUpEarly ... #LyingInBed ... #ThinkingWhatHappened ... #WhatTheySaidToMe ... #BlamingMe ... #AsIf ... #iAmTheProblem ... #ThenRealising ... #WhoAreTheyToJudgeMe ??? (at Subang Jaya) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cblov6Tvg-xr6-MFcNM06cUB4KouHODQD5nUr80/?utm_medium=tumblr

[wqueens7]

#meditation #meditationsonnet #sonnetmeditation #sonnet 11.24.21 #curator #iamtheproblem #immortality #history #uncertainty (at 48Th Avenue Stairs) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWqOJYWrLkK/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mrdepresszio]

[myhopelesslifeonly]

"I broke it all and I put it to test.

Put your hand to mine and feel this emptiness.

There's no beat in my chest 'cause there's nothing left.

No, it ain't goodbye, it's a last caress

What's another dream? You can hardly sleep.

Can you believe bad things only happen to me?

God knows one day you will finally see.

That scars will heal but were meant to bleed.

Do you realize I would lie for you?

Please have my last breath, I would die for you.

I know I'm no good, but my heart beats true.

You know I'm gonna fight, though I might be scared to lose.

You took me in and I fucked it up again.

An empty promise? No, I won't pretend.

'Cause in the end, we need someone to solve 'em.

Nobody can fix me if I'm part of the problem."

[amberbrenee]

Learn you & focus on you. Master you. #IAM (you are not my focus IAM. “From within flows the issues of life” #IAMTHEPROBLEM & #IAMTHESOLUTION https://www.instagram.com/iam___jones/p/ByT-gqElv-H/?igshid=1ioik4kk3gyns

[hiddensecrets512]

Secret Plans

I am so sick of things getting cancelled and my day getting ruined cause of it. If I make plans with you there is a likely chance that I was really looking forward to going, but also to skip out because of anxiety. But when my plans get cancelled, it always seems to be the ones I want to do most. Like today, we planned on going to the beach. Well it wasn’t set in stone but we talked about it like it was. I was so excited, until yesterday I found out mother nature decided to pay me a visit. I hoped it was secretly cancelled because my cramps are the worst on the second day and I wouldn’t have a lot of fun. They did end up getting cancelled but I am kind of sad because, it’s the beach. We go once a year if we’re lucky.

But oh-ho. I am not finished. That same day we’re planning on going mini golfing. Now if you really know me, you will know I despise mini golfing because it gives me anxiety attacks. With this side of my family I’m going with, I can’t let them know or explain to them the kind of pain I’m going through or why I am freaking out. I just have to suck it up, and cry silently. I can't let them see me cry. Hell, I just cried saying it out loud that we are not going to the beach. 

Sometimes I wish I could explain to them why I feel so bad, or why I cannot do these things. I wish I could explain to them why I love this certain activity, but not others. I wish I could tell them things I love and am happy about, but alas, who would know what they would say. So I need to keep it to myself and pretend I am happy and okay with what they decide.

I always tell him that I don’t want to pressure him into making choices just because of what we want. I always tell him it really is up to him. I tell him I don't care or know. But in reality, most of the time, I do know, and I do care.

[therls8guy]

13 year sobriety chip. #sobriety #soberlife #recovery #sober #addiction #onedayatatime #inspire #soberissexy #soberliving #strength #soberaf #wedorecover #alcoholism #positivevibes #odaat #iamnotthesolution #500daysofsobriety #iamtheproblem #na #belimitless #mentalhealth #12steps #recoveryisworthit #gratitude #empower

[indivar]

Kids nailed this shot. #iamtheproblem

[noemimarangon-blog]

Problema

"Mi chiedo perché mi vada tutto così male, mi chiedo perché proprio a me, perché nulla va come vorrei, perché niente è come vorrei, perché ?.. Provo a riflettere su quale sia il problema, analizzo molte cose, tante..tutte.. Fra le tante cose che mi passano per la testa, sulla quale cerco di ragionare, mi soffermo sui punti di vista.. già.. e se fossi io a vedere tutto in negativo, e penso a quando mi è capitato di chiedermi 'perché a me?' .. 'e perché non a me?' mi rispondo.. o per esempio anche quando mi chiedo perché le cose non vadano mai come vorrei .. ' e se dovessi essere io a farle andare come desidero, o almeno provarci..' penso fra me e me.. ed è qui che arrivo all'unica conclusione possibile .. : 'E SE IL PROBLEMA FOSSI IO ? ..' "

[katawpr]

💯 exactly😎✌️ #mistake #love #life #depressed #dead #mistakes #sad #alone #hurt #music #hard #follow #writersofinstagram #hated #followme #suicide #deprissionen #selfharm #ihatemylife #ihatemybody #rungen #essst #text #fuckinghard #iamtheproblem #diet #die #fuck #person #follow https://www.instagram.com/p/BxO_qLHJ_V-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1n2arc7q78jd2

[wqueens7]

#meditation #meditationsonnet #sonnetmeditation #sonnet 11.23.21 #iampartoftheproblem #iamtheproblem #selfrightousness #amends #uncertainworld (at 48Th Avenue Stairs) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWnkyxCLW7W/?utm_medium=tumblr

[lovejanera-blog]

I Am The Problem

Sharing My latest blog post, "I Am The Problem"... http://thebetterme.net/i-am-the-problem Having this thought that I am the problem is also a gift from God. Having this feeling that I don't deserve to live is also a gift from God and a blessing everyday. It makes me feel human, a crazy human being with a suicidal mind that kills me countless times. a crazy human being with a fragile heart that filled with the desire to become someone seems I'll never become. I am the problem. #Iamtheproblem #pain #janelee #writersofig #writingcommunity #blogger #pinayblogger #thoughts #pain #suicide #suicidalmind #suicidalthoughts #motivations #words #god #jesuschrist #fragilebeing #thebetterme

I always thought like I am the problem and not the people around me. I always want to agree to my thought because it’s true. I’m so sensitive and weak. (more…)